#kind of feel like at this point we’ve talked it near to death with no new information so

[dwtdog]

going to start adding george situation tags to all the posts i make about it from here out btw <3 inspired by a few other ppl who are doing it

[mariespen]

Who? ˳༄꠶

jealous!Rafe Cameron x fem!Reader ༄꠶ summary: “No way am I sending my girl on a study date with another man." warnings: very very mild sexual concepts, jealous Rafe

based on this request!

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

Rafe Cameron was looking right at you with a death glare, the kind of look you’d pin on horrible people who were only doing horrible things. You’d think your boyfriend would understand that being in college requires unavoidable group work, which leads to unavoidable conversations with people you would much rather not know at all. Naturally, you were wrong. Devastatingly wrong.

“I don’t get it.” He said plainly for the fifteenth time that night, “You don’t even need this class if I’m honest.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to focus more on packing your things rather than the hole he was staring into your back.

“Don’t do that shit.. c’mon baby..” Rafe said, getting up to stand closer to you, a persuading hand on your hip, “M’working so hard to give you a life where you don’t gotta work and-“

“Rafe, we’ve talked about this too many times.” You cut him off in hopes to finally shut him up.

“Well why don’t we talk about it again,” He said, a tiny smile on his face, “Like right now? Over dinner?”

“Baby you know that my group members will kill me if I don’t pull through.” You shrugged past him, walking to put your shoes on.

You weren’t wearing anything near special. Sweatpants and one of Rafe’s oversized hoodies were all that you were planning on showing off. But in Rafe’s eyes, HE would fuck you in that, so who’s to say that no one else would? Naturally, he carries a heavy bias considering that Rafe would fuck you in anything, but he says ‘that’s not the point.’

“So what, you’re gonna spend all night with people you don’t even like?” He asked with a scoff.

You gave him an annoyed nod, trying to prove your point.

“That’s gotta be like.. bad for your uh.. mental health. You should stay in.”

“Rafe stop-“ You started before getting a ping on your phone. You groaned to finish the sentence, storming off to get your shoes on.

“What?” Rafe called after you, quietly shuffling behind before picking your phone up and looking at the recent notifications.

Connor: When r u getting here?

“Who’s this?” Rafe asked, pointing to the phone with a look of pure hatred in his eyes.

“One of my group members, love.” You said, trying to stifle a giggle over how protective he was over you.

“Another man? Absolutely not,” He said, turning away from you to block the door out of your shared apartment before continuing his rant, “No way am I sending my girl on a study date with another man. Who do you think-“

You pushed past him, backpack already slung over your shoulders as you made your escape to the front door.

“Nope.” He said plainly, grabbing the back of your bag and making you look at him, his fingers tracing your jaw and holding your eyes to his.

“Rafe..” You whined, but his touch was strict.

“You’re mine, baby. Not Connor’s, a’ight?” He said, brushing hair from your face.

“I’m yours.” You repeated, standing on your tip-toes to give him a kiss on the cheek.

His eyes softened and he thought he got you wrapped around his finger, pulling away to look at your flushed face. Instead, you darted to the door when his touch weakened, hand on the knob before Rafe could get another word in.

“Love you!” You said, closing it before everything caught up to him.

The group work went fine and almost exactly like you thought. A long session and a gut wrenching feeling of exhaustion afterwards. It’s never your favorite event but there were worse things that could happen. Things like walking back into your apartment after narrowly escaping your boyfriend’s possessive hand. 

You opened the door quietly, which was already unnecessary. Of course he was still wide awake, waiting for you like a father punishing his daughter for sneaking out. He was sitting on the couch, arms crossed and scowling at you.

“What the fuck?” He asked, getting up to meet you at the front door.

You shoved your shoes off, setting down your backpack and walking closer to Rafe. “M’tired baby..” You said, making every attempt to walk past the intimidating block he made in the hallway.

“No, no no.. this isn’t how it’s gonna work,” Rafe said, using both of his hands to hold your shoulders and forcing you to stand right in front of him as he lowered his voice, “Can’t just do that baby.. a’ight?”

“Sorry..” You whispered, breaking free of his hold on your shoulders and instead pulling yourself into him, wrapping your arms around him in a hug.

You could feel the slightly annoyed laugh that bubbled from him, but you could also feel the chaste kiss that he left on the top of your head. Rafe’s soft spot for you would always shine through his anger. You let yourself melt into his arms while you contemplated falling asleep standing.

“C’mon..” He whispered into you, equally as tired from staying up and waiting for you to come back to him.

You felt him pick you up cautiously, kissing your cheek as you let your eyes start to close.

——————————————————————

The next morning was a beautiful Saturday, which of course was the day you woke up to about 15 messages from your project’s group chat. Somehow you managed to squirm away from Rafe’s death grip over your body to check your phone. Casual conversations relating to different parts of the project and other things that you wanted nothing to do with flashed across the screen.

Over your shoulder you heard Rafe groan and felt him reach for where you weren’t. He looked around for you, watching groggily as you typed out a response on your phone.

“Baby..” He trailed off, rubbing his eyes.

“Sorry.. group project.” You whispered, giving in and letting yourself melt back into his arms.

“At 9 in the morning?” Rafe mumbled into you, an annoyed sigh died in his throat when you ran your fingers through his hair.

Sleep clouded your mind as the two of you held each other close again. He wasn’t trying to show it, but his possessiveness and jealousy were leaking out of him like a faucet.

“G’morning princess..” You heard Rafe whisper from above you, brushing the lazy hair from your cheeks.

You groaned and shifted, trying to find the warmth in the bed now that Rafe had gotten up.

“Let’s get lunch, hm?” He asked, gently moving you to face him again.

You nodded, trying to nod away the urge to dive back under the blankets.

Getting ready wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be, just because Rafe had already bought you the perfect outfit and you didn’t have to fight off your hair as much as you normally did. Whenever you got ready, Rafe would always finish before you and sit on the edge of the bed, admiring your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Your cheeks would flush up and you could never get your blush right anymore because he somehow always had your face a pink shade of red.

Rafe grabbed your bag for you, a small purse that fit your pretty dress. He also went to get your phone from its shameful place at the bedside table because of course you had forgotten to charge it last night.

One text had lit up your screen and his eyes narrowed the moment he saw it was from Connor.

“Baby, why is Connor texting you?” He asked, walking to your spot in the bathroom and shoving the phone in your face to quickly get your attention.

You took the phone, opening the notification while Rafe watched from over your shoulder.

Connor: Hey, I have some ideas for the paper. You want to meet up to talk? I was thinking a Cafe or something.

You could feel the angry red heat of jealousy seeping out of Rafe’s body.

“I told you.” He said, taking the phone from you and staring at the message again, almost dumbfounded at Connor’s audacity.

“M’not going.” You said plainly, looking at him with a lightly apologetic look.

“Damn right you’re not.” He replied, throwing your phone onto the bed and looking at you with an angry glare staring down at your face.

You watched an idea form in his head. It was easily not anything good considering the way his lips turned up in a thin smile and his gaze moved between you and the phone in a heartbeat.

“Y’know.. I really don’t want my girl missn’ anything..” He trailed off, walking to where he threw your phone originally.

“Rafe..” You tried to protest, not fully understanding where his head was at.

“No.. I think I gotta be a good boyfriend here.” He nodded to himself before looking at you with an unforgettable smirk.

“Baby I don’t want to go.” You said, walking up to him and trying to read his cocky expression.

“You, go?” He asked with faux confusion, cocking his head to the side, “No no, you’ve got it all wrong.” 

Rafe stood up, taking your hands in his and kissing your knuckles before looking back down at you. Now it was your turn to be confused, furrowing your eyebrows.

“You think I’m stupid, baby?” He mocks, kissing your up jaw and stopping by your ear, “M’gonna go in for you.”

Whatever hint of a smile you had on your face slowly disappeared as realization dawned on you.

“I think I’ll text him right now and let him know I’m on my way. Give him a nice surprise when he realizes it’s not the pretty little girl that he wants.” Rafe said slyly, pulling back with a malicious smile.

“Then he and I can really talk, hm?”

The next day, Connor dropped the class.

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

[bengiyo]

Peaceful Property: There’s Nothing Noble About Being Poor

Coming off of episode 6 of Peaceful Property, I am feeling some consternation because once again GMMTV has given us a poor character who’d rather be poor than take the money. I’m also frustrated about the baiting of this show, because I don’t like TayNew enough to forgive Home his greed or his cowardice. 

From GMMTV we’ve had Akk having to work his ass off to get to Paris to be with Theo, Mork working his ass off to eventually get back to Day, Sailom not taking money in Dangerous Romance, Sand not taking the money in Only Friends, Kang upending his entire life for Moo in Only Boo! When I looked into stories that seemed to consider the perspective of poor people, only Dark Blue Kiss really seemed to consider the class dynamic of Pete and Kao, and Cooking Crush with Prem taking the needed money. 

This problem isn’t unique to GMMTV, and it’s been something that has annoyed me in global media for decades. We get these kinds of storylines where poor people would rather be poor than take the money of a rich person because rich people fund the media. For them, not taking their money is the harshest punishment they could envision because it’s their primary mechanism for solving problems. However, I come from the Brian Kinney school of thought that “There’s nothing noble about being poor.” On top of that, we know that Pang and Peach have no money, because they’re living in a goddamn bar that Home owns because they have no money. How could they go back to the apartment they got evicted from for lack of payment if this was so? Sure, it’s a TV show, but damn is it annoying that I’m asked to empathize with Home being sad about losing his friends over freaking out about housing security for the people whose lives he ruined.

Now, let’s talk about the lives he ruined. It’s actually so, so much worse that Home was completely sober when he hit Peach and fled the scene. He’s lived a pleasant life this entire time, when he had every reason to believe he killed someone and let his uncle cover it up. I care a lot about the future of cities, and car violence is one of the biggest violent killers of poor people in cities. The fallout of this accident led to Peach’s ongoing terror of ghosts, screwing up badly at work, and his sense of culpability in the death of his mentor. Peach and Pang’s lives are measurably worse because of his injuries, and it baffles me that the show would have Peach take zero compensation from the people who hurt him when he and his sister are struggling. I get Peach being proud in the moment, but I just don’t see a person faced with scarcity of that level choosing to walk away from money that he’s more than owed.

Speaking of Peach, I am so confused by the plotline that has him trusting Home with the food safety of a man he almost killed the last time he worked in a restaurant. It feels like this show just doesn’t take its own violence seriously. The drama of this episode is about Home losing his friends because he wasn’t forthright about the violence he inflicted on them, and they risked Chai-un’s safety to prove that Peach could trust home? Please be serious. They should have tossed out both of those bowls and started over rather than risk that man’s life again. Peach wants to become a chef again, and this is a huge misstep!

I just don’t think I really enjoyed this last episode much at all. I liked seeing Peach not crumble in front of ghosts, but that’s about it. I feel like the show is relying on Newwie’s charm (and TayNew shipping) to have the audience root for his redemption, which I am on the side of Peach wanting nothing to do with that man ever again. He deserves to be angry, and it felt so weird to me that the one lashing out at the end was Home as our focus point. Next week they’re going to be working near each other, and I’m just gonna be irked that once again we have a story about the inherent nobility of poor people who can afford to turn down much needed money to make a rich person sad.

[glade-constellation]

Another thing I want to add about this post just because I’m thinking about it, I think Lunar has a hard time getting along with Sun due to his trauma with Eclipse. I mean, we’ve already seen it at play during Sun’s whole “murder” rampage, it’s not super far fetched.

I’m not blaming Sun for this. This is 100% Eclipse’s fault, another thing he did that just put Sun in a hard spot. This isn’t me saying Sun and Lunar don’t get along or are bad brothers, this is me saying Eclipse did irreparable damage to Lunar while in Sun’s body. Lunar probably has a hard time looking at Sun without remembering the times around October.

@socksandbuttons has a post that I think shows this really well, where Sun uses his glow feature at one point after October happens and it triggers Lunar into a panic attack (I can’t seem to find the post so I apologize for the @). Lunar sometimes probably has a hard time looking at Sun without seeing Eclipse, and simply keeps his distance to keep himself safe. I’m not sure how much this theory is going to hold up in newer episodes, but it did seem possible in earlier episodes. I say it could hold up since we haven’t seen Lunar visit Nice Eclipse yet, and they were close before Lunar’s death.

Speaking of Good Eclipse, I feel like Lunar was able to bond with him more than they were able to bond with Sun because Sun’s body used to be Eclipse’s as well. Nice Eclipse may have looked like Eclipse, but Sun had the physical body, if that makes since. Plus, we know Eclipse didn’t always use the glow feature. There were times where he looked exactly like Sun. One of Lunar and Eclipse’s bigger fights happened while Eclipse wasn’t using the glow feature. The fight happened over the glow feature! Lunar has trauma of being hit by Eclipse who looked exactly like Sun at the time.

The irony of their currently situation, though, is that Sun is probably the person Lunar needs to talk to the most. If Sun could open up and they both talked through things, they might realize they both have similarities. Both have dealt with abusive brothers, near death or actual death experiences, and are currently dealing with the loss of a brother. Even though there were moments where Moon was abusive to Sun, we all know Sun still loved him. There are clear signs of grief, even though Moon isn’t technically dead. There was still a loss, and Sun is feeling that. He was heavily hurt by Moon during the beginning of their relationship, even during parts of the show, but that was his brother. Sun doesn’t miss getting hurt, but he misses the shared memories. We can see that he get frustrated sometimes when he has to explain things to Moon. He knows Moon doesn’t know most things that happened in the past year, but he still remembers Moon being there. That Moon is no longer here.

I think, even though Eclipse was abusive, Lunar still loved him. He was still his brother, in some small way. Lunar wants to hate him so much but there’s some small part of him who still wants to love him and that hurts. That tends to be the problem when it comes to abusive family. You are supposed to love this person but they are hurting you so bad and those feelings sometimes get muddled and so confusing. Lunar probably isn’t feeling nothing, he’s probably feeling everything. It’s just too hard to pick apart what he’s feeling, so he feels numb in the sense that he has no idea what he’s actually feeling. We can see that he’s obviously feeling emotions by the way he’s reacting to everyday things. His brain just can’t figure out what that feeling is. Instead of that depressive kind of numb where you want to lay in bed all day, Lunar seems more manic. He’s reactive, easily angered, borderline hysterics at moments.

Every single person in this family needs extensive therapy. No, this is not excluding Earth, she needs it to. Sun needs help with his avoidance tendencies, Moon needs help with his self hatred, Earth needs help with her self worth, and Lunar needs help figuring out his emotions. Sun and Lunar need time to grieve, both for Moon and Lunar also for Eclipse. It’s okay to grieve for what could have been, especially in Sun’s case where he almost had that. I just wish they would talk with each other so they wouldn’t feel so alone.

[overlordofthelollipopguild]

Broken Souls Mend Hearts -- Chapter 97: Going Home Again

Read on AO3 or ff.net.

Chapter notes:

Warning: Character death imminent. Sorry....

So this chapter is Enchanted Forest heavy and very Emma light. I was planning on the CS reunion being chapter 100 but so much of chapter 97-99 would have to be filler and I think I've kept y'all on the hook long enough. Season 3B here we come.

Also, Rumple is taking a lot of Neal's role. I just don't like Neal or writing for him. Rumple's easier and this is canon divergent enough that it flows better for Rumple to be more active than Neal.

Also next chapter is the CS reunion.

Chapter 97: Going Home Again

They appeared near the castle, which was kind of Zelena to send them so close to home, so she definitely wasn’t heartless. 

August’s own heart was racing and his mind a mess of thoughts. Zelena wasn’t completely evil; he could see it in her eyes. She wanted to open up to him, to come to their side. He wasn’t sure why she rejected his offer, but they’d been so close to convincing her. August needed to see her again and talk. If only he stood up for her after the fire; if he did, maybe they wouldn’t be on opposite sides and she’d be with him. 

August swallowed. Did he want that? Be with Zelena? Did he even know her? What if everything she ever said to him was a lie? He wanted to find out for sure, but actually being with her, pursuing a relationship, was something for him to think over.

“We have to go back.” Grace said. “I don’t think she’s evil, Uncle August.” In fact, Zelena seemed wrecked over the whole situation. It was clear to Grace at least that Zelena felt something for August, and she truly was upset that they hadn’t believed her about the fire. 

“I don’t think so either, Gracie.” August sighed. “But we can’t go back. She doesn’t want us there right now.” Zelena gave him a lot to think about and he needed time to process. He figured Zelena also wanted to be alone for a reason. 

Grace opened her mouth to protect, but August quickly cut her off. 

“You know how sometimes you’re feeling bad about something and you don’t want to talk about it?” August asked. 

Grace nodded. After all, she went through her lack of contact with her friends and losing Henry. Those were some rough months. 

“Well, I think Zelena is struggling with something.” August said. “I think she needs time, okay?” Struggling with being good, maybe? Or was there something else? Zelena was so close to coming back with him, but something changed her mind. 

“I just don’t want to give up on her.” Grace said. Zelena was her friend and friends were supposed to be there for support. Maybe August had a point, but Grace still didn’t like it. 

“Grace!” Jefferson called out, catching their attention. 

Jefferson and Belle walked closer to them.

“We’ve been looking all over for you.” Jefferson said. “Where have you been?” His expression was a mixture of concern and sternness. He definitely wanted answers. 

Grace looked to August at a loss as to what to say. 

Great, it’s time to be a responsible adult. August thought, though he hoped Grace wouldn’t be mad at him. He wasn’t going to lie to Jefferson. “Don’t be mad, but Grace wanted to talk with Zelena, and I went with her.” 

Grace winced. Okay, so no lying this time. Papa was going to be mad. 

“What?” Jefferson glared. “You took my daughter to see the Wicked Witch?” What the hell was August thinking? Didn’t he have any idea how dangerous that was? 

“No, Papa.” Grace said, stepping in to defend August. “I ran off and Uncle August followed. He tried to bring me home, but I wanted to get answers. Zelena was my friend.” 

Jefferson regarded his daughter for a moment, before sighing. Grace struggled since their return to the Enchanted Forest, and Jefferson knew that Lena, or Zelena, really bonded with Grace and helped her get through it, but she was still evil and was plotting against them. “I understand that, but you can’t run off and confront someone with the magic she has. I’m glad August was with you, but neither of you have enough means to defend yourselves against her.”

Grace looked down at her father’s disappointed tone. “I know. I wasn’t thinking about that. I didn’t think she would attack us, and she didn’t. She sent us back here.”

Belle and Jefferson shared a look. That was interesting. At least, they were both safe, but why wouldn’t Zelena harm them? 

“She just sent you back?” Belle asked. Holding them hostage would’ve been incredibly beneficial to Zelena. Grace said she hadn’t attacked them either. Belle wondered what that meant. 

Jefferson was curious too, and seeing August’s contrite expression, he figured that maybe Zelena had a heart after all. He’d talk more with August later, and they’d have to discuss not letting a twelve-year-old convince him to run off to a witch’s lair. “Be that as it may, we still need to talk about your independent streak. Come on, let’s go find your mom and we’ll talk about your punishment.”

Grace pouted but understood it. She hugged August tightly. “Thanks for going with me, Uncle August.”

August returned the hug. “You can always count on me, Gracie.” 

As Grace walked over to her father, Jefferson sent a look which told August that they were going to talk more later. August nodded in response. It wasn’t a lecture he was looking forward to having, but he understood. He was the adult after all. 

Belle walked over to him after father and daughter headed into the castle. “How are you doing?” 

August shrugged. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Belle was the one who’d been through recent trauma. What he was going through with Zelena didn’t hold a candle to that. He’d eventually deal with his own issues, but whatever Belle went through, she needed all the support she could get from them. 

“I’m…doing better.” Belle said uncertain. “Slow progress, you know?” She grimaced at her words, unsure of how to discuss her own situation. Not talking about it was too much, but talking about it at all wasn’t something that she was ready for and she doubted she’d ever be ready for it. 

“That’s good.” August sighed. His heart wanted to reach out to Zelena, to get her side, but his head couldn’t trust it. He wasn’t sure he could trust her, even though she hadn’t attacked them and seemed so uncertain about her own villainy. After a moment of silence between them, August voiced his thoughts. “When we went to see Zelena, it was like she didn’t want to be our enemy. Do you think she has changed? I just…I don’t want to be played again.”

Belle considered his words. It was odd that Zelena seemed so unwilling to attack August and Grace or use them for her own gain, but could it be that Zelena had a change of heart? “I don’t know, August. I wasn’t around. I do know that villains are capable of change. Look at Killian, Rumple, and Regina. They all changed for those they loved.” Rumple tried so hard for her. Even when he had his setbacks, he still attempted to be a better man. It wasn’t until his passing that she realized that three-hundred-years of being the Dark One was a hard habit to break. “Rumple even sacrificed his own life for us.”

August froze. Didn’t anyone tell Belle about Rumple? Crap. “Uh, Belle, did…did anyone tell you?” Why did it have to be him? 

“Tell me what?” Belle didn’t like how August paled. 

“We think Rumple is alive.” August said carefully. “He sent a note about Zelena and Regina recognized his handwriting.” He braced himself for her reaction, knowing that it wasn’t going to be a good one. 

Belle’s blood froze, a chill settled over her. That wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be unless…had Neal succeeded? Had he resurrected his father? If he had, then…a price was paid. Did that mean Neal was dead? 

“Belle?” August worried about the shock on her face. Great, I broke her, again. 

“If Rumple is alive, then…” Belle swallowed. “Neal resurrected him, which means Neal is dead.” She shook her head. “I need to find Regina.” She hurried off, leaving a shocked August in her wake. 

*****************************

David considered Snow’s words for a long moment. She told him everything Regina said about the Land Without Magic and the Dark Curse. Worse, how the Dark Curse was there only option to bring Emma and Henry home. He wasn’t sure what to think other than, of course they’d have such rotten luck.

Why did there always have to be a Curse?

“If the Curse is the only way to open up the realms,” David started. “Then someone is going to have to sacrifice themselves.” It wasn’t something they could ask anyone to do. It was their daughter who was the Savior. Could they rightfully ask Jefferson or Ruby to sacrifice each other? Aurora or Mulan? Marco or August? It wouldn’t be right. 

Unfortunately, that would mean… David swallowed. He’d have to be the one. 

Snow sighed. “We have to figure out who. It’s a lot to ask someone.” Though it didn’t seem fair to ask anyone to do it, but after everything their family had been through, she didn’t want to lose David. Was that selfish? Absolutely, but she’d had enough loss for a lifetime. Emma grew up without them, they missed out on raising Emma, but Snow would not allow this baby to miss either their mother, father, or sister. Their family would be whole. 

David paused, knowing he needed to broach this carefully. “Snow,” He started, kneeling in front of where she sat in an armchair. “We can’t ask anyone to make such a choice for us.” He hated it; hated the very idea of dying. But they needed Emma. They needed her a lot more than they needed him. 

“No.” Snow shook her head. “I’m not going to crush your heart.” She wouldn’t, couldn’t, do it. “Our baby, Emma, Henry, Liam, and Killian need you. I need you. We missed out raising Emma and our family being together. I won’t have our next child missing out on anything.” Snow pushed herself up out of the chair, slowly, but she got to her feet and walked away from David. Her feet carried her to the open window. A hot breeze blew in, the August heat would normally be stifling if the castle wasn’t always so cold. 

There was a silence before David walked over to her side. “We can’t ask our friends to make this kind of sacrifice. I know it’s not fair to us, but it wouldn’t be fair to them either.” David said. “I know we’ve been through it, the Curse, losing Emma twice, losing Henry, you losing your parents when you were so young, everything Regina put us through, it’s been so much. But we’ve also been so lucky to have our epic love story, and two children and grandchildren. We’re well ahead of everyone else we know. Shouldn’t they be able to have those opportunities?” 

Snow sighed, tears forming in her eyes. Though he had good points, sometimes Snow hated how noble her husband was, even if it was also one of the traits she loved the most about him. “Well, I know where Emma gets her selflessness from.” She shook her head. “Why is it always us, Charming?” Why did it have to be again? 

“I wish I had an answer for that.” David wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as her tears fell, hating himself for making her cry. 

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Snow sniffed. “Crushing your heart would be like killing myself.” 

David held tightly, not sure how to comfort her. He didn’t want to die. He wanted to be there for their baby, wanted to reunite with Emma and Henry, wanted to see their child and Liam grow up together, but this was their path. They couldn’t let anyone else cast the curse, no matter how unfair it was to them. “I know.”

Snow cried into his chest as their decision was made. 

*****************************

“Regina.” 

Regina winced hearing Robin call out to her. They hadn’t talked since he kissed her, which was by Regina’s design. She refused to be alone with him again.

It wasn’t a bad kiss; in fact, it was incredible. It awoke long dormant feelings that scared the shit out of her. Regina knew she was undeserving of love and Robin, and Roland for that matter, deserved better than her. She didn’t want Robin to get ideas. 

“Regina, hey.” Robin caught up with her. 

Surely he wouldn’t want to discuss this while they were walking down the hallway where anyway could hear their conversation. “Hi, Robin.” Regina greeted, keeping her eyes forward. What excuse could she come up with to avoid him? “I was just on my way to gather ingredients.” Not entirely a lie.

“Could we talk a moment?” Robin implored, his expression pleading. 

“I really should…” Regina stopped herself. What could it hurt to hear him out? So long as she shot him down, then they could put their kiss behind them. “All right,” she stopped and turned to face him. “What is it?” 

Robin felt triumph. He knew she’d been avoiding him since their kiss; he’d take the small victories. “I wanted to talk.” 

Regina’s lips twitched. “Yes, you mentioned that.” 

“About our kiss…” Robin started. Come on, Locksley, be brave. He took a breath and spoke his truth. “I just wanted to tell you that it meant more to me than just being a kiss.” 

Her heart skipped. What exactly did he mean by that? Regina shook her head. “It can’t be more than just a kiss.” She couldn’t let him think there were feelings there. There were, of course, and Regina knew she’d come a long way after all these months back in the Enchanted Forest, but there were people who still feared her or suspected the worst. She didn’t want Robin and Roland affected by her reputation. 

“Why not?” Robin asked. “Don’t tell me you don’t feel the same as I do. I know you do.” Robin stepped closer to her. 

Regina sighed. “Robin, I just don’t think us being together is a good idea.” How could she convince him that she was bad for him?

“I think you’re just trying to protect yourself.” Robin said. “You’ve shut away your own heart for so long, you’re afraid to trust someone else with it.”

Oof. Well, he was hitting the nail on the head. Regina truly did want to protect Robin and Roland from her reputation, but was that all? After Daniel, when Tink came to her to help her find her True Love, Regina let her anger, grief, and fear rule her decisions. She lived in her bitter emotions for so long. She remembered standing outside the tavern, seeing the lion tattoo, her heart in her throat, thinking how could her True Love ever love her? 

She tried to earn her mother’s love, only receiving cruelty. She tried to be a good wife to Leopold, only to be ignored. Even Snow, while kind, was more often with her father. Regina was all alone. 

Her father showed her what love he could, though he cowered to her mother’s power. Daniel showed her love and a taste of freedom, but her mother proved that love was a weakness and it certainly wasn’t meant to last. 

How could she explain all of that to Robin? As much as she felt for him too, what would happen if her True Love ever showed up again? She couldn’t hurt Robin like that. What if Marian hadn’t been Robin’s True Love? What if someone better was out there for him? 

“I’m poison, Robin.” Regina sighed. “I destroy everything I touch. I ruined Henry’s life, my first love died because of me, I took away everyone’s happy endings…”

“You’re not that person anymore.” Robin said, hands coming to her forearms, gently pulling her to him. “You’ve changed for the better. You’ve worked so hard. Don’t let your past decide your future.” 

Regina looked down at her feet, shaking her head. “You might believe that, but not everyone else is as kind.” As her eyes moved up to look at him, they caught sight of something on Robin’s wrist. Regina turned her head slightly to get a better look and froze. 

On Robin’s wrist was the same lion tattoo of her True Love. Her soulmate. In the exact same place.

How many people in the Enchanted Forest had that lion tattoo?

Regina swallowed, finding her voice. “I didn’t know you had a tattoo.”

A little confused about the abrupt change of subject, Robin looked at his tattoo. “Yes, it’s a simplified version of the Locksley family crest. A reminder of where I come from and why I left my titles and noble life behind.” 

His family crest? Regina took a step back, Robin’s hands dropping from her. If it was his family crest, it was very unlikely anyone else had the same tattoo, which meant… Her heart raced. 

Robin was her True Love. 

Holy shit. 

“Regina!” Belle ran towards her, thankfully interrupting any further conversation with Robin.

Shaking away her shock, Regina turned to her best friend. “Belle, what’s wrong?”

“August just told me that Rumple might be alive.” Belle was a bit out of breath, red-faced from running. 

Regina grimaced. “After everything you’ve been through, I was hoping to prove Rumple was alive for certain before telling you. I mean, he sent a note and I believe it was his handwriting, but that’s not foolproof evidence.”

“Neal planned to resurrect his father.” Belle said. “We haven’t heard from Neal since he left for his father’s castle. I can only assume that if Rumple is alive…”

Regina’s expression turned grim. “Then Neal must’ve succeeded.” 

“What does that mean?” Robin asked. “Is Neal all right?” Though he didn’t really care for Neal after the stunts the man pulled in Neverland, but he didn’t wish ill on the man…okay, he didn’t wish death on the man. If Neal paid a price for magic, then perhaps he deserved it.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think so.” Regina admitted. “Resurrection magic is dark magic. The darkest and most impossible magic. If Neal succeeded then the price was very likely his own life.” 

Her words only distressed Belle. “I should’ve stopped him.” Tears came to her eyes.

“Belle, Neal made his choice.” Regina put her arm comfortingly around her friend. “Neal was a grown man. If he wanted his father back, I doubt you could’ve stopped him.” 

“Regina’s right.” Robin reassured. “Neal’s choices were his own.” Damn him for making Belle feel at fault. After everything the poor woman suffered, she didn’t need unnecessary guilt on her conscience. 

Belle wanted to take comfort in her friends’ reassurances, but she couldn’t help putting the blame on herself. She was with Neal. She should’ve stopped him. That was on her.

“Hey, stop thinking like that.” Regina saw the guilt weighing Belle down. “You couldn’t stop him, okay?” Wanting to distract Belle from thoughts of Neal, Regina changed the subject. “Come on, I need some ingredients for the Curse. Some help would be nice.”

Belle reluctantly nodded, still lost in her thoughts. 

Regina turned to Robin. “We’ll talk later.”

As the women walked away, Robin sensed that later wasn’t going to come unless he kept confronting her. Though should he? Should he keep pursuing her or give her time? His heart told him to go after what he wanted, but he didn’t want to pressure her. Regina was a one of a kind woman and he didn’t want to push her away by wanting more than she was ready for; perhaps patience was the best course of action. He could be patient for her. 

He only hoped that he wouldn’t have to wait too much longer. 

*****************************

“Hey.” Jefferson appeared at his side.

August winced. Time for that talk then. “Hey, look, I know I should’ve been the responsible adult and brought Grace back, but…”

“But you wanted answers.” Jefferson said. He understood that much. August felt something for Zelena and her betrayal stung. While he was mad, after a long talk with Grace and Ruby, in which it was agreed that Grace was grounded for a month, meaning helping Granny with any and all chores, Jefferson came to understand how affected Grace was by Zelena's ruse. August's moping clued him in to how much it bothered his friend. At least August was sorry for being an idiot. Jefferson couldn't fault him for wanting to see Zelena and find out the truth. “I get that. You really like her, don’t you?”

“I’m not sure.” August admitted. “I liked Lena, I liked her a lot and thought...but I don’t know how real Lena was, or if everything was a lie.” He turned towards Jefferson, quickly changing the subject, not wanting to lament his love life. "I still shouldn't have gone along with Grace. I wanted to drag her back to the castle." He would never let Grace walk all over him again...he hoped. 

"You shouldn't have." Jefferson agreed. "But I'm learning my daughter is a strong-willed, independent girl. I'm already terrified of what the teenage years will bring if the preteen ones are this difficult." He shuddered slightly at the idea. Grace was going to make him go grey before he reached his forties. "To be honest, I'm glad you found her. Even though you don't have magic, you being with her was better than her being alone." Jefferson crossed his arms over his chest, a stern expression in place. "That being said, if Grace ever attempts something like this again..."

"I will take her to you, Ruby, or Granny kicking and screaming even if she hates me for it." August nodded in agreement. "Mostly because I don't want to be werewolf chow."

Jefferson smirked. "Good man." He relaxed his stance and patted August on the back. "Now let's talk about Zelena." His friend wasn't getting out of this talk that easy. 

August grimaced. What was there to talk about? Zelena lied and August was confused as hell over it. 

"Come on, man." Jefferson said. "You can't keep moping. Talk it out, and let's figure out what you want to do." After a pause, Jefferson added, "Don't make me get Killian involved."

"You're going to rat to my brother?" August huffed. "What are you going to do? Get Regina to magic him back here from his mission to reunite with his soulmate to solve his brother's small problems?"

"Maybe." Jefferson said. "He's good at advice, particularly with love. I'm lucky I managed to get Ruby's attention." Jefferson leaned against the window frame. "I mean would you rather me get David? He's more accessible, but he's more..."

"True Love must be fought for?" August sighed. "Killian would probably tell me to figure out if I want to find out if Zelena wasn't entirely lying. If she was, forget her, lean on your family for support. If she wasn't, and she feels something for me, then..."

"A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets." Jefferson quoted, hearing that phrase many a time during intense pool matches at The Rabbit Hole. Really, he said it often enough, Jefferson figured they needed to make t-shirts and sell them. Not a bad idea for extra cash. Maybe after the next Curse, he could start a graphic tee business with all of his friends' annoying quotes. "Well, I guess you need to figure out if it's True Love or not before you pick which advice to follow."

August looked out the window, wondering the best course of action. When he and Grace confronted Zelena though, he could've sworn that she wasn't acting. "Zelena said that maybe she was playing us at first. I think it became real for her at some point." His heart hoped it was real for her. He really liked her and before the fire, he was going to ask to court her. He wanted so badly to see her again. 

"Then fight for her." Jefferson said. "At least if you convince her to be with you, then we won't have to worry about casting the Dark Curse and getting Emma back to defeat her."

"Ah, so that's why your pro-Zelena?" August joked. "Love conquers all, even wickedness?"

"I wouldn't say that." Jefferson shrugged. "But hey, Regina changed her stripes. Rumplestiltskin pulled a heroic sacrifice, though he's back now. Hook is one of the biggest heroes around. Villains can change. Though it also would be nice to not have one of our friends die for the Curse."

August nodded. "Did anyone volunteer?"

Jefferson sighed. "Not yet, but the meeting is in a couple of hours. I'm sure someone will and we can argue with them all we want, but if Zelena still plans to act against us, then what choice do we have?" He stood straighter. "I'm going to leave you to brood. Though careful about how much you do that, otherwise your really will start looking like Killian."

"Killian doesn't own the trademark on brooding." August huffed, though he couldn't help a small smile appearing on his face. 

"Ha, right." Jefferson said. "Tell him that. You two really are brothers." He shook his head, walking away, leaving August to his thoughts. 

August wondered about Jefferson's words. Could he really convince Zelena to side with them? Could he be the one to stop her and save someone's life in the process? 

It was quite a burden to carry, and August wondered if Emma felt like this when acting as the Savior. It wasn't fair to do all of this just to bring her back because of her destiny. It should be done to bring her back to their family. To bring back just Emma and Henry, not the Savior. 

August needed to figure out what to do and fast. 

*****************************

Zelena kept replaying August’s words over and over. Had he meant it? Did he really want her side of the story? He said he wanted another chance, but did he mean he wanted to be her friend or something more? Her heart fluttered at the thought. Did he feel something for her? 

She scoffed at her own thoughts. Why would he want something more? He couldn't feel more than possibly friendship for her. She was the Wicked Witch, which meant she was entirely unlovable. Her adopted father hated her, Cora abandoned her, Regina rejected her. No one loved her. It didn't matter that she loved August, he could only ever see her as a villain.

Zelena froze mid-stride, almost losing her footing, her entire being jolting as if struck by lightning. Did she just think that? She loved August? No, no, she couldn't possibly...

Her heart raced at the thought. Did she love him? Thinking about him sent butterflies dancing in her stomach. He made her smile and laugh so much when they'd spend time together. But love? Was that love? Zelena smiled widely. She did love him. She loved August Booth. Pure giddiness filled her being. She was in love. Oh, this is why love was so wanted. It felt so good. 

Crap. Zelena shook herself. What was she doing? She was the Wicked Witch. She terrorized Oz for years. She...oh who was she kidding. Being Lena was the happiest she'd ever been, and part of that was due to the friendships she made and the man she loved. 

What was she still doing here? 

Zelena turned around, determined to leave this castle and go to August, only to come face to face with King George. Scowling, Zelena crossed her arms. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to deliver news." George said, looking none too happy. Whether it was because of his news or Zelena, she didn't know. "The heroes think that only the Savior can stop you." He watched her reaction carefully. 

"So what?" Zelena shrugged. "The Savior is in the Land Without Magic. There isn't a portal they can use to get to her." Though she figured eventually they'd figure out that getting to the Land Without Magic via Neverland was a workaround, but they'd need a pegasus sail without Pan's shadow and fairy dust was dying out, so she doubted the fairies would offer it. 

"They plan on casting the Dark Curse." George said. Her lack of concern irritated him. He knew she was weak; why did no one understand that love was a weakness and power was all that mattered? He was glad he planned for this. After seeing her interactions with the puppet and the Mad Hatter's brat, George just knew that Zelena would be too weak to aid him further. It was time to get her out of the way. "They want to return everyone to Storybrooke. We can use this to our advantage."

"Oh, you think so?" Zelena arched a brow. Just what was he playing at?

“If we intercept the Dark Curse, we could make it our own.” George said, ignoring the shadowed figured moving silently behind her. “You and I can have all of the power.”

“You’d share power?” Zelena asked, unconvinced. “Please, you and I both know you’ve been using me for my magic and to get to the Dark One. You’re a pathetic, bitter old man, who can’t get over losing your throne.” 

George reined in his temper. How dare this witch speak to him that way? He was and will always be a King. “All I need from you is to alter the Curse. Let them do the work, but change it so that we're in charge of the town and they are nothing more than our slaves.” Nottingham needed to hurry. He didn't want Zelena to realize the ambush.  

“No.” Zelena said. “In fact, I think you’ve been enough of a thorn in…” Something hard hit her head and Zelena fell to the ground, unconscious. 

Nottingham dropped the scepter he found lying around. “Now what?”

George held his tongue of criticism. He didn't need Nottingham going against him too. George smirked. “Now, we find the Dark One dagger.” 

*****************************

David entered the Council room, gripping Snow’s hand. He didn’t want to do this; he didn’t want to die. However, he couldn’t in good conscience let anyone else make the necessary sacrifice. Even if it meant never meeting his second born, or seeing Emma, Henry, Killian, and Liam again. Leaving Snow alone to raise their child made him sick to his stomach, but he knew she’d have the support she’d need. 

He just missed out on so much already. He wasn’t ready to die. 

Everyone was sitting, waiting for him and Snow to join, all ready to discuss the plan. He pulled Snow’s chair out for her. He looked around at his friends, his family. 

Jefferson and Ruby sat across from him, ready to draw up battle plans if necessary. He adored his dearest friends and hoped they would back his decision. 

Next to Ruby, Granny looked both stern and worried. Marco was next to her, his expression contemplative. Both were the supportive parental figures they all needed as most of them were orphans just trying to figure out their lives. 

Then there was August, who David couldn’t help but grow to like as August did all he could to make up for leaving Emma. 

Regina was grim yet determined. Her turn around truly amazed David and he was so proud of her.

Mulan was stoic as ever, though she glanced worriedly at Aurora, who appeared exhausted and rather frail. They helped everyone so much, opening their homes to refugees, even though it resulted in them losing so much. 

Robin, who’d become such a good friend and counsel with Killian away, looking ready to follow orders. 

Belle, who’d been through so much, but who was still determined to give her aid. 

David took a breath and started. “So we all know that we need Emma to stop Zelena and that means casting another Dark Curse…”

“No.” Ruby interrupted. “You are not sacrificing yourself.” Her green eyes pierced him. There was no way she was letting David be a self-sacrificing hero. 

Damn her for knowing him so well. “Yes, I am.”

“Oh great, you’re being noble.” Jefferson groaned. “Someone go get Killian to knock some sense into him.” Though Killian would probably yell first and then punch David. Jefferson seriously considered punching David if it meant knocking out the self-sacrificing part of his personality. 

Regina was sorely tempted to do just that, but first, maybe they could convince David without resorting to Killian. “David, there’s no way we can let you do this.” 

“Who else can?” David snapped. “I’m not going to ask any of you to sacrifice yourselves or your loved ones.”

“You shouldn’t assume you’re the only one willing to make that sacrifice.” Regina huffed. “I would if I was the person someone loved the most, but I don’t have anyone. You have a baby on the way and how do you think Emma would feel about you dying just for her to be able to come home?”

“She’s right.” Ruby said. “David, you’re an important part of this family. We can’t lose you. We can figure this out together.”

“I don’t want anyone else to die for us.” David said. Why couldn't they just let this go? He'd made his decision. 

Snow, unusually quiet today, spoke up. “David, they’re right. This should be a family decision. Jefferson also has a point. We should tell Killian what’s going on.” Snow knew Killian was probably still angry with her, but he’d come home for this. She knew he would, and he wouldn’t let David sacrifice himself either. 

“Someone still needs to die for the Curse to work.” David protested. “Who else would be willing?”

“Me.” Marco spoke up, surprising everyone. 

“Papa…” August started, but Marco cut him off. 

“No.” Marco stood, shoulders set. “I have lived a long life. I’ve raised my sons. I’ve had grandchildren. I found love.” He looked to Granny then, taking her hand in his. His eyes moved back to David. “It’s my fault that Emma grew up alone. I’m to blame for that. Let me do this for our family.”

Everyone sat silent, considering his words. 

David felt gratitude and relief for Marco’s offer, but could he really let him die?

“Papa, are you really sure about this?” August asked, quietly, tears in his eyes. 

“I am.” Marco said. “I will die a lot sooner than any of you anyway. To die for my family, so they can be reunited? There is no better death than that.” 

“I’ll do it.” Granny said, saddened by Marco’s impending death, but pride for the man she loved shining in her eyes. 

Marco squeezed her hand tightly, knowing she was doing it, not just for him, but to save August from the pain and guilt of killing his father. 

“Marco,” David choked. “Thank you.” Because what else was there to say? Marco was giving his life so that David could live and be with his family. 

Marco nodded. “There is no need for thanks. I’m happy to do it.” He sighed deeply. “I only want to see Killian and Liam one last time.”

Regina stood, her own eyes wet. “I’ll go get them. Killian needs to know what’s happening anyway.” With that, she teleported away. 

“Now that it is settled,” Granny spoke, her voice thick with grief. “We need to prepare everyone to return to Storybrooke.”

*****************************

Killian gathered his crew, his family really, on the deck of the Jolly Roger. 

Eric leaned against a barrel with Ariel in his arms. Alice and Tink sat on crates, Liam sitting between them, the eight-month-old happily playing with his aunts’ hands. Will and Blackbeard stood by the mast, both eyeing Killian with worry and curiosity. 

He internally laughed at how much father and son looked alike in that moment. 

“So fearless leader, why are we having a family meeting?” Will asked. 

Killian chuckled at the title. "Well, to be honest, I think it's time to go home." He sighed. "I'm not giving up, but I was thinking over it last night. We haven't been back to visit the family, and perhaps consulting with Regina might give us fresh insights." More than that, he knew something was coming. Anticipation buzzed in his veins. 

"Are you sure, brother?" Blackbeard asked. "They might not let us go off again."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take." Killian said. "Besides, I still feel like something is happening. I think they have answers." He couldn't explain it, but his gut knew that this was the right decision. 

Blackbeard narrowed his eyes, still not entirely convinced Killian's powers weren't trying to break through. He needed to ask Killian if he ever died and was resuscitated. Then he'd know if the binding was still mostly intact or not. 

"It might be good for us to take a bit of a break." Tink said. "After eight months of traveling, it will be good to stay in place for a little while."

Purple smoke startled everyone as Regina appeared. 

"Regina!" Killian yelped in surprise. 

Regina smiled brightly, hugging her friend. "It's so good to see you, Killian." She pulled away, taking in the others. "It's good to see all of you."

"You have perfect timing." Alice said. "We were just headed back to the Enchanted Forest."

"You were?" Regina asked, shocked. Did they know about the Curse? No, they just now made a decision about the Curse. There was no way they'd know already. Her dark eyes looked to Killian for an answer.

Killian shrugged. "I just had a feeling something was happening. That it was time to come home."

Regina scrutinized him, wondering, not for the first time, if the pirate was precognitive on some level. "You're not wrong." Taking a breath, she prepared herself for the negative reaction she was about to get telling Killian her news. "We have a way to get to the Land Without Magic."

"You do?" Alice asked. "When did you figure it out?"

Seeing Regina wince, Killian's blood ran cold. There was only one option that he knew for sure, and Regina's reaction told him all he needed to know. "No." 

Perceptive pirate. Regina sighed. "It's the only way." 

"No." Killian snapped. "I'm not letting anyone die."

"That's not your choice." Regina crossed her arms, prepared to stand off against him. "We're casting the Curse. Then magic will be back in the Land Without Magic, and you can get Emma and Henry."

"Wait, hold on," Tink spoke up. "The Dark Curse? The one where you have to kill the person you love most? That Curse?" 

"As I explained to the others," Regina began. "It's not called the Land Without Magic because there isn’t magic, there's just not enough there to make it accessible. The whole reason the Curse was created was for Rumple to bring over magic so he could remain the Dark One. Casting the Curse will weaken the barriers of the realm, and since you have Ariel here, she could open a portal to the Land Without Magic." 

"So the Dark Curse gets cast," Ariel started. "Storybrooke and magic would return to the realm. If you teleported me and Killian far enough away, once the Curse is cast, then I can get us to the Land Without Magic, no problem."

Killian still didn't like the idea. "Who's volunteered to die for this cause?"

Regina grimaced. "Look, let me transport everyone to the castle and we can finalize plans. Then, like Ariel said, I can teleport the two of you away from the range of the Curse. If you get caught up in it, you won't be able to leave Storybrooke to find Emma and Henry." 

"Regina, who's dying?" Killian demanded. "David's not being a noble idiot again, is he?"

"He tried." Regina admitted with a watery chuckle. Killian knew his best friend so well. “But no, David isn’t pulling the noble sacrifice card. We wouldn't let him."

“Okay, let’s get back to the castle then.” Tink said. “We can debate and argue over the details when we’re there.”

Killian wasn’t happy about Regina withholding details and being rather shifty about the plan, but Tink was right. They needed to get back home. The sooner they did then the sooner they’d figure out whether or not the Curse was worth it, and then he’d find a way back to Emma and Henry.

*****************************

While he wasn’t too happy about George and Nottingham roaming his castle, Rumple had work to do. The memory potion for Miss Swan was almost ready and he needed to send it off before George and Nottingham discovered his whereabouts. 

Having overheard George’s plan, Rumple only hoped that the heroes would cast the Curse before George could find the dagger or worse: find the dagger and control Rumple into altering the Curse. 

When he defeated his father and sacrificed himself, Rumple was at peace with his decision and knew Belle and Neal had a support system to get them through their grief. 

His sacrifice felt like an apology to Neal for everything that he did as the Dark One. More than that, death freed him from the Darkness. He never imagined his son would go as far as to resurrect him considering they never truly resolved all of their issues. Even now with Neal in his head, it was only a matter of time before one of them took control permanently. There couldn’t be two of them. Resurrection magic came with a price and that price would be the death of one of them. He just had to figure out how to make it so Neal lived and he died.

But that would be for another time. The memory potion was ready.

Rumple worked quickly to bottle the potion and hide evidence of his actions before heading to a window and summoning a bird. Of course it was a messenger pigeon. Rumple quickly wrote a note explaining what the potion was for and tied it to the pigeon’s leg. “Take this to Killian Jones.” 

As the bird flew off, Rumple felt a pull in his gut. The Dark One dagger had been found. Answering the summons, Rumple disappeared in a puff of scarlet smoke and reappeared in another room of the castle in front of King George and Nottingham.

The dagger was in George’s hand. 

George smirked. “Hello, Dark One. I have a job for you.”

*****************************

Regina first teleported all of them and the Jolly close enough to her castle so that the Jolly would get caught up in the Curse. She knew how important it was for Killian and his family to keep the ship. After that, they teleported to the castle, appearing in the war council room where only David and Snow awaited them. 

“Killian!” David beamed at the sight of his best friend and quickly moved to embrace him.

“What are we?” Will whined. “Chopped liver?” 

“Hello to you too, Will.” David said as he pulled away from Killian. 

“He’s just sore because everyone likes me best.” Killian chuckled. As David hugged and greeted most of the others, Killian walked over to where a very heavily pregnant Snow sat. “I see that congratulations are in order.”

Snow’s smile fell, and she immediately bursted into tears. “Oh Killian, I’m so sorry. I was so horrible to you and you didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry.” 

Startled at his friend’s tearful outburst, Killian sat next to her and took her hand in his. “It’s all right, Snow. Emotions were still running high.”

“No, it’s not.” Snow sniffled. “There is no excuse for how I acted and the words that I said.” 

“Would it make you feel any better if I was still angry?” Killian asked. “Or if I said I didn’t forgive you?” 

“No.” Snow wiped away her tears. 

“Exactly.” Killian squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Let’s just leave it all in the past. Fair?”

“Okay.” Snow sniffed a final time before throwing her arms around him. “We’ve missed you so much.” 

David walked over with little Liam in his arms. “Look how big he’s gotten. Is he crawling yet?”

“Oh all over the ship.” Killian grinned. “Teleporting too. Likes to give us a scare from time to time doing that.” His eyes lit up with pride taking in his son. 

“He looks so much like you.” Snow reached up to brush Liam’s hair away from his face. 

“Aye, but most of his expressions are pure Emma.” Killian said. “Particularly when he’s mad.”

David laughed at that, knowing the exact expressions Killian meant. 

“I know this reunion is overdue, but we have a Curse to cast.” Regina spoke up. “I’m going to get started.” She gave David a significant look as she left. 

David winced. Why did he have a feeling Regina didn’t tell them who was sacrificing themselves? How kind of her to leave the hard part to him…

“So who’s the ritualistic human sacrifice?” Will asked. 

Alice smacked him on the shoulder. “Will, really?” 

Will shrugged as if to say that his description was rather accurate. 

“Uh, yeah, about that.” David grimaced. He turned to Killian. “Look, I was going to do it, but everyone was against it…”

“Rightfully so.” Tink said. “You have a baby on the way, and a full life to live.” 

“I know.” David said. “I was trying to be noble. I didn’t think it was right to ask anyone else to make this kind of sacrifice.” He sighed. He really thought his sacrifice would be for the better until everyone set him straight. Marco made his points clear as well. 

“So who’s is?” Alice asked. 

Snow squeezed Killian’s hand again. “Marco.”

Killian whipped his head towards her. “What?” He couldn’t have heard that correctly. Not Marco. No, Pop needed to be around to watch Henry and Liam grow up. He needed to see Killian and Emma get married. What about August? Marco needed to be here for his milestones too. 

“That’s why Regina went to get you.” David gave Liam to his father. “Marco wants to say goodbye to you and Liam. He and August are in the garden.” 

Killian sat there a moment, stunned by the news. “Wait, hold on. There’s still got to be another way. The Dark Curse can’t be our only option.”

“We’ve already been over this with Regina.” David said, giving Killian’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Regina consulted with Blue. The Curse is all we have, Killian. It’s our only chance to reunite with Emma and Henry. Marco wants to be the one to do this for our family.”

“Go say goodbye.” Snow urged softly. 

Killian swallowed, not sure what else to say. He got up and glanced at the rest of his family. None of them knew Marco as well as he had, but their sympathy for him and the situation was clear on their faces. He looked away, not able to stand it, before he left the war room with Liam in his arms. 

The garden was in bloom despite the August heat. Killian found his father and brother sitting on a stone bench across from a black marble fountain. He approached quietly as Marco and August were deep in conversation. August clearly upset o er whatever his father was saying kept shaking his head. 

“Papa, give me a chance to go to Zelena." August said. "Maybe I can get her on our side."

"If you can't?" Marco argued. "Besides, this is the only way to get Emma and Henry back." 

August ran a frustrated hair through his hand. "Then let someone else do this. I know why you want to do this, but can’t you reconsider?” August pleaded. 

“No.” Marco’s tone was resolute. “This is my choice. You won’t change my mind.” 

“Could I?” Killian asked, surprising the two men. 

“Killy!” Marco stood up and pulled Killian, Liam still in his arms, into a hug. “My boy, it is so good to see you. Welcome home.” 

“Hi, Pop.” Killian returned the hug as best he could with the baby. 

Marco pulled back and took in little Liam. “Look at how big you’ve gotten, little one.” Carefully, he took the baby in his arms. “Oh, you’re a heavy one now, aren’t you?” He tickled the baby’s tummy earning a giggle from Liam, who wriggled in his hold. 

“Pop, can we talk about this?” Killian asked. “Why do you want to die?” 

“Killy, I have lived a full life.” Marco said. “Fuller than most. Everyone else here still have long lives ahead of them. It would be unfair for any of them to die instead. As I told everyone, it isn’t just about that, but I feel it is necessary to make up for past mistakes.”

“Past mistakes?” Killian asked, but the answer came quickly enough. “You mean Emma? Pop, Emma forgave you for that.” 

“That’s what I told him.” August said. “He’s not listening to reason.” 

“I haven’t forgiven myself.” Marco said simply. “Killian, I love you and August. I love all of our family. Did I want to see you boys married and raising your families? Yes, I did. But for you, Killian, it won’t happen unless I do this. Please, let me do this for our family.”

Killian swallowed, pushing back tears. He looked to August, who appeared as defeated as Killian felt. “There’s nothing we can say to change your mind?” 

"You can't be serious." August stood and began pacing the garden. "We can find another way to Emma and Henry. I know if I get a chance to talk to Zelena, she'll come to our side. Then we can all scour the realms until we find another way."

"You heard Regina." Marco said. "There is no other way. Even if we tried to look, Henry and Liam could be grown. I am an old man. My time will come soon enough." Marco patted Liam's little head as the baby watched his uncle pace. “Now, let me say goodbye to you boys properly, yeah?”

Breathing shakily, Killian nodded. “Okay.”

August reluctantly agreed as well, tears falling down his cheeks. "Okay, Papa."

Marco knew they would grieve, knew he’d miss out on so much, but he was at peace with his decision. To die was only the next adventure after all. 

*****************************

Her head pounded as she came to awareness. Zelena slowly opened her eyes, finding herself facing metal bars. She pushed herself up finding that she was in a cage of some sort. She remembered George speaking with her then...someone hit her from behind. 

“You’ve got us into a bind, dearie.” Rumple said from behind her. 

Turning, Zelena found the Dark One scowling at her. “What happened?” 

“King George and his crony Nottingham happened.” Rumple said. He was leaning against a table covered in gold straw. “They knocked you out and found my dagger.” His teeth clenched in a snarl. “I’m under his control now.” 

Zelena swallowed back her fear. “Does that mean you’ll kill me now?” She needed to get out of here. Her magic reached out to unlock the cage, only to bounce off of more powerful magic. 

“No.” Rumple said. “Luckily for us both, George thinks you’ll be useful as a hostage.” Rumple walked closer to the cage. “Your magic won’t work either. He ordered me to create a cage that you couldn’t magic your way out of, so that he could keep you in his possession.” He leaned down to whisper. “But this could work in our favor. You figure a way out without magic, get my dagger, and then we can kill George.” Rumple’s teeth baring grin held mania behind it. 

“You’re more sane for the moment.” Zelena said. “Or have you been playing me this entire time?” She wondered about his outbursts and why he was so calm now. 

“I can silence my son when needed.” Rumple said. “He’s asleep for now. No doubt he’ll wake up soon enough.” Though Rumple knew the real reason. The Darkness and past Dark Ones didn’t like his son holding him back. They wanted to expel Neal and get back to full power. Rumple silenced him as much as he could to protect him. He needed to figure out how to save Neal before the Dark Ones grew even more impatient. 

Zelena couldn’t tell if Rumple was lying or not. She’d take him at his word for now. “How am I supposed to escape?” 

“That’s for you to figure out.” Rumple snapped. He stiffened. Anger flashed in his amber eyes.  If Zelena hid the dagger better, they wouldn’t be in this situation. “I’m being summoned.” 

Once left alone, Zelena turned her focus to the cage. She couldn’t use magic to get out, but he didn’t say anything about picking the lock. Though Zelena didn’t know how to pick locks, it couldn’t be that hard, could it? 

Combing through her hair for a hairpin, Zelena decided the sooner she escaped, the better. 

*****************************

The Curse was ready. 

Regina teleported Killian and Ariel to the Southern Isles, where they’d be out of range of the Curse, but still able to keep an eye on the Enchanted Forest’s coast. 

Most everyone else was somewhere in the castle hunkering down. Only David, Granny, Ruby, Jefferson, Marco, and August elected to stay in the room. August wanted to be with his father as he died, especially since Killian couldn’t be, and Ruby and Jefferson stayed to support Granny. David stayed for support as well, but he was ready for a fight in case Zelena or Rumple showed up. 

“Okay, it’s time.” Regina said. She beckoned Marco and Granny over to the cauldron. “I’m sorry for this.” She genuinely felt horrible for Marco’s fate, but this was the only way. 

“It’s all right.” Marco assured with a sad smile. 

Regina reached out, hand plunging into his chest, and pulled out his red, beating heart. Gingerly, she gave the heart to Granny. “All you have to do is squeeze it over the cauldron until it turns to ash. Once the ashes fall in, then the Curse is enacted.” 

Granny nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She walked over to the cauldron, Marco at her side. August and Ruby joined them. August put an arm around his father, ready to catch him when he fell. Ruby stayed by Granny’s side. 

Granny looked into Marco’s eyes, and with a final nod from him, she held his heart over the cauldron and squeezed. 

Marco gasped at the pain, staggering a bit as August held him firmly. 

Granny closed her eyes, unable to watch, squeezing harder, hoping for it to work faster to end Marco’s suffering. 

As Marco’s knees gave out, August helped lower his father to the floor, holding him tightly. Marco whispered a final “I love you” as his heart turned to ashes. 

August hugged his father to him as Marco took his last breath. 

A sob escaped August, unable to hold it in now that his father was gone. 

Once all of the ashes fell into the potion, purple smoke seeped out of the cauldron. As the smoke creeped along, Granny, with Ruby right behind her, went to August’s side. Granny hugged August, who refused to let his father go, his body wracked with sobs. 

Regina stood off to the side with Jefferson and David, all of them tearful. 

“How long will the Curse take?” Jefferson asked quietly, turning away from the grieving family. He hoped they’d be taken soon so that Marco could have a proper funeral. 

“It will take some time.” Regina said. “It’s not a fast curse, so we should be in Storybrooke by morning.” 

“Do you think Zelena or Rumple will interfere?” David asked.

“Even if they did, I spelled the cauldron to only respond to my magic.” Regina said. It was foresight on her part, sensing that either or both would want to manipulate the Curse in Zelena’s favor. That is, if her sister still held possession of the Dark One dagger. Her sister. Perhaps if she received the news better that she had a long lost sister, then they wouldn’t need the Savior and Marco would be alive. Then again, they’d likely never seen Emma and Henry again, and a very selfish part of Regina was glad for the Curse. She’d get her son and a woman she considered family back. As horrible as it was, in the long run, this truly was best for everyone And Marco’s sacrifice would be remembered. 

“Will the spell hold against them?” David knew Regina was a powerful witch, but Zelena and Rumple were more powerful. It wouldn’t surprise him if they broke through it. 

Regina’s silence was telling. “Let’s hope not.”

“Hope not what, dearies?” Rumple’s high-pitched voice startled them. The imp appeared out of the smoke. “That I won’t change your Curse?” 

“Rumple.” Regina stepped forward. “I know you’re under her control…” 

“Not hers.” Rumple said. “Someone else controls me now.” He grinned without humor. “Unfortunately, I’ve been ordered not to say.” He waved his hand, magically tossing Regina back into Jefferson and David, knocking all of them to the stone floor. 

“You bastard!” Ruby snarled, pouncing for the Dark One, only to be pushed back with his magic, disappearing into the smoke of the Curse.    

Granny screamed out Ruby’s name, rushing to her granddaughter. 

August couldn’t see through the smoke as he sat clutching his father’s body, though the tears didn’t help his vision any. 

Regina used the smoke as cover to get behind Rumple. Lightly twirling her hand, she knew a vial of squid ink appeared in David’s hand. “Rumple, you don’t have to do this.” 

“On the contrary,” Rumple snarled. “I have my orders.” 

Calling upon her magic, Regina threw her hands out, pushing Rumple into the far wall, away from the cauldron. “Fight it, damn you! You know if you alter the Curse, there’s no Savior to break it.” 

“True Love abounds now.” Rumple said, hiding in the smoke. “Plenty of givers and receivers of True Love’s Kiss.” He came up behind Regina. “My master,” His tone was laced with disgusted sarcasm, “craves power and revenge. I’m to help him achieve that.”

Good, good, give me clues. Regina thought. Master of loopholes as always. “You can still fight it. I know you can.” They just needed to stall him long enough for the Curse to finish. Come on, David. She knew the squid ink wouldn’t last too long on Rumple, but it would last long enough to get past the point of no return for the Curse. “You’re stronger than the dagger.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Rumple walked slowly in front of of her, eyes piercing. “Play time is over.”

Okay, he can’t fight it much longer. Regina thought. Where was David? “Rumple, wait…”

The Dark One froze. 

Regina glanced down to see David on the floor, having army crawled under the smoke to hide, an empty vial of squid ink poised over Rumple’s foot. “Finally.” 

“Sorry.” David said, pushing himself up. “I wanted to make sure he was fully distracted.” 

“He was fighting it.” Regina said. “His new master is a guy out for revenge. Any idea who?” Since they were back in the Enchanted Forest, it could be a number of people, not just ones who were victims of the first Curse, though it wouldn’t surprise her if it was a victim of the first Curse. 

“Depends on who he wants revenge on.” David said. “You, me, Snow, Rumple, we all have a number of enemies.” Whoever controlled Rumple now was the most dangerous enemy they’d face yet; they needed to get the Dark One dagger back and soon. “How long will this hold him?”

“Maybe a few hours.” Regina said. “The Curse can’t be altered after a couple of hours, so when he gets free, there’s nothing he can do.” 

“That’s a relief.” Ruby said, appearing out of the smoke with Jefferson. She favored her left arm, having landed on it, breaking her ulna. 

“Here.” Regina waved her hand, healing Ruby quickly. 

“Thanks.” Ruby said. “Now we wait?”

Regina nodded. “Now, we wait.” 

*****************************

With his spyglass, Killian could see the Curse off in the distance. Purple smoke and lightning creeped through the Enchanted Forest as the deep inky sky started greying along the horizon. They hadn’t slept, worried that the Curse would reach them, though he hoped Regina’s calculations were correct and that the northern most coast of the Southern Isles was out of range. 

“Do you see it yet?” Ariel asked from her perch on the small cliffside. She stretched as she yawned, eager for the Curse to be over and done with so they could all be reunited again. 

“Aye.” Killian said. “It’s still far off, so it will take some time for it to finish.” He sat next to her, worry gnawing at his gut. He know leaving Liam with his brother and Tink was the right move, since he didn’t know how long it would take to get to Emma and Henry, but he hadn’t been away from Liam more than an hour or two in the boy’s entire life. Leaving him for who knows how long with villains amok ate away at him. “Once it’s finished, we’ll try your portal. Likely we’ll end up in Storybrooke, so I’ll need your help to get to the edge of the town and escape.” 

Ariel nodded, stifling another yawn, when she saw something. “What’s that bird doing?” Ariel asked, squinting off in the distance. 

Killian watched the pigeon flapping it’s wings vigorously, almost as though it was outrunning the Curse. “I don’t know. Is there something attached to it’s leg?”

The bird drew closer, clearly intending on them being its destination. It landed next to Killian, practically collapsing onto the ground. 

Gingerly, Killian picked up the bird in one hand. There was a note and potion attached to its leg. “Here, take the potion and note.” He maneuvered the bird so that Ariel could untie it. Once that was done, he released the pigeon and took the note from her. 

“What is it?” Ariel held the blue bottle carefully. 

“A memory potion.” Killian said. “For Emma.” If the Curse didn’t return their memories, then why didn’t Regina give him the memory potion earlier? Why send a bird? Unless she hadn’t realized the Curse wouldn’t return their memories and someone else sent it, but who? Killian looked over the note, but it wasn’t handwriting he recognized. Could he trust that this potion was a memory potion? He pocketed the note and took the potion bottle from Ariel, eyeing it despite not being versed in potions to even know what he was looking at. Shaking his head, he pocketed it too just to be on the safe side. 

The sun slowly ascended above the horizon. 

Killian took out his spyglass once again to see the progress. A thrill crawled up his spine when he saw the purple smoke clearing. “I think it’s done.”

“Okay.” Ariel said. “Let’s see if I can make a portal.” She removed her bracelet, her legs quickly joining together, creating her fishtail once more. She handed it to Killian. “Hang on to this for me.” Then she pushed herself the ledge, diving into the water. Once she hit the cool blue waters, she stretched out her hand and twirled it in a clockwise motion. A blue portal opened and Ariel darted through. 

As Killian awaited her return, he pushed himself up, preferring to walk down the cliff to a more level space, not wanting to risk shattering a bone. As he walked, the memory potion and who might’ve sent it nagged at him. Uncertain as to its origins, Killian decided that it would be a last resort when he found Emma. He’d do what he could to make her remember him and their life. 

Ariel was waiting in the shallows when he reached the beach. “It’s there.” She said excitedly as he approached. “I came out about fifty yards from the coast. It looks just as it did before.”

“That’s a relief.” Killian said as he waded through the shallow waters. “Did you figure out where the edge of town is along the coast?”

“Yeah, it’s two leagues south of the docks,” Ariel said. She took Killian’s hand. “Ready?”

“Aye.” Killian said. “Let’s go home.” 

*****************************

“Killian.” Emma gasped, waking up, looking around the room. She could’ve sworn…

Wait, something happened. Her bedroom looked and felt the same, but everything was off. Or she was off kilter. 

Emma saw nothing different in her bedroom, but her instincts were screaming that something was different. Egged on by her gut, Emma hurried out of her bedroom, anticipating finding something changed. After scouring her apartment, finding Henry still asleep, Emma was at a loss. 

This was certainly all the fault of her silly, stupid dream. 

She dreamed that Killian was here. That they were so close to touching and being together. Her nostrils filled with the smell of him, leather, sea, and his Opium cologne. 

God, she was going crazy wasn’t she? Killian wasn’t real. Or was he? After all, there was no such thing as Storybrooke, Maine, but she’d been there. She raised Henry, yet there were adoption records. She worked as a bail bonds person in Boston, then disappeared for over a year. 

There were things that didn’t add up; things that couldn’t be explained. Storybrooke had the answers, and she planned on going. However, now, everything in her was telling to stay put and wait. 

But wait for what? 

A live-wire crawled under her skin. Life as she knew it was changing. Something big was coming. 

Her bones, heart, head, and soul knew that before long, she’d be seeing Killian Jones. 

[twilightmalachite]

Raison d’être - The Nameless Girl 7

Author: Akira

Characters: Shu, Mika

Translator: Mika Enstars

"Hmph. Because if I am to be motivated, I need you to be too."

⚠️ Content warning: Contains mentions of suicide.

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: Apartment in France

Mika: (But… When one partner can’t contribute, the other’s gotta stand strong!)

(I gotta do my best!)

(But, uu~, I seriously feel like runnin’ away!)

(I’m lyin’ to Oshi-san…)

(Turnin’ away from reality, coverin’ it up, glossin’ it over…)

(Even though I always wanna be honest to Oshi-san.)

Shu: Ka~ge~hi~ra~?

Mika: Nnah? Whats it this time? I, I-I, I’m not lyin’ ‘bout anythin’!?

Shu: Hah? Your attention was distracted again, wasn't it—I was telling you that lunch has been prepared and it’s time to eat. What’s with this overreaction?

Mika: Nnah, yer right, it smells real good…♪

Shu: Your extraordinary ability to concentrate is a virtue, but it’s not good to become so absorbed in one thing that everything else gets neglected.

Don’t be the kind of idiot that gets hit by a car because they were in thought.

Here. This is not genuine foie gras, but I attempted to recreate the taste and texture to the best of my ability using the ingredients I had on hand. You wanted to try it, didn’t you?

Mika: Nnah… T-Thank ya kindly. Yer bein’ so kind, Oshi-san, it’s creepy!

Shu: Hmph. Because if I am to be motivated, I need you to be too.

While the Funeral Contest has no definite deadline, the other contestants are going to outwit us at this rate.

So we need to hurry up and decide on at least a concept for our funeral soon.

Mika: Ahaha.

Shu: You laugh out of context sometimes.

Mika: Nnah~… It’s jus’~, ya said “our funeral”, so it sounded like we were gonna do a double suicide together.

Shu: I understand where you’re coming from, but I do not understand why you would laugh at that.

Mika: ‘Cause wouldn’t that be wonderful? If we die together, we’d go to hell together fer eternity~…♪

Shu: Even I said that I do agree with you, it would be imprudent to talk about death so lightly! Well, I suppose it is a little late for that.

Actually, I wonder if that’s the case… I’m not able to come up with any ideas, because I do not typically talk about death.

I had been opening that by deciphering the diary and nearing my Grandfather’s past would at least give me a start on things.

Mika: An’ we struck out there, didn’t we? Right…

Shu: But it wasn’t completely for naught. Hence, why I am still here in Paris.

According to the landlord, who knows my Grandfather’s past well, it seems the past as described in the diary is more or less accurate.

The sole thing that appears to be a fantasy is only the existence of the fictitious woman named “MADEMOISELLE”.

That, and the other things the historian who translated them pointed out; since some of the entries contain facts that anyone including my grandfather could not have known at that time—

I can conclude that while not a pure diary, it could be a recently written novel.

One with facts portrayed that, according to the landlady, are astonishingly accurate.

Of course, the landlady is quite old, so her memory appears to be a tad hazy in several areas.

In fact, she seems to have quite the rough time simply reading through it… Well, it is a diary written in a language that is not of her mother tongue, so that’s understandable.

Mika: Umm, did’ja have the historian translate it into French, or somethin’?

Shu: Yes. As we’ve been doing things so chaotically, time has only been flying by.

Myself aside, as I live in Paris; Kagehira, you must have work to do in Japan.

Your visa is reaching its expiration, so how about you return to the country for some time?

I’m sure Nito and Kiryu, who are assisting us for some reason, are concerned as well, so I’d like you to meet them face-and-face and fill them in.

Just a brief summary, of course. I just feel that genuinity is lost over the phone.

Mika: R-Right… What ‘bout you, Oshi-san?

Shu: I intend to continue to look into things through talking with the landlady, and by paying my Grandfather’s acquaintances and properties she has referred me to a visit.

Even if those diaries are nothing but fantasies, the depictions of my grandfather spending his youth here are fact.

I would like to believe that there is still significance in experiencing and finding meaning in it.

[ ☆ ]

← prev | story directory | next →

[kurtmustdie]

God finally I finished the 1992 Spider-Man 2099 comics—

SPOILER WARNING BTW IM JUST SPITTING OUT MY THOUGHTS RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW GET OUT IF YOU DONT WANT THE COMICS SPOILED FOR YOU PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Overall, writing wise I liked it. Most of it, at least. I wasn’t a huge fan of the art style at some points but that’s just personal preference, I guess. I know how much work and how little time goes into comics so that is just a tiny thing to me. Biggest complaint about the art style was how the women were drawn. Uh…. Yeah, it was the 90s. I’m not shocked we’ve barely grown and it’s 2023. Side note but this comic really did predict some modern stuff didn’t it /hj

The downsides…. Oh boy. I don’t like how most of the female characters were relegated to the damsel in destress or…. Miguel lover. Ig??

Conchata was sort of out of the ordinary with that and that’s why I liked her (Xina too, both of their personalities stuck out to me and I liked them. Xina sort of reminded me of Red from TLOTFK National Anthem for some reason) but I mean… she was the main characters mom. Kinda makes sense that she’d go against the grain

That and the representation of Mexican culture.. my god did I hate it. As a Latino, specifically as someone who is Mexican, I was not a fan of how Day of the Dead was portrayed specifically. It isn’t just Mexican Halloween. But in the comic… yeah that’s what I got from it and I think if a kid who didn’t really know what that is might end up being ill informed but just— they should have done more research. That’s all I’ll say.

I can give them a little leeway and say “oh it was the 90s”. So I will. It was the 90s. What am I gonna expect from a comic book in the 90s. This was actually pretty progressive for the time so why am I complaining 💀

Oddly enough though, I did enjoy the representation of suicidal tendencies and ideation from Miguel. You don’t see that a lot. At least not in the way this was depicted and from what I’ve seen. It was relatable. Every time he got into a near death situation he still fought through it and didn’t give up. Which like, yeah, I wouldn’t want to be killed by some guy with wings or drown because fish man or something, but as he spirals I feel like it was depicted well. He knew that he couldn’t take his own life because not only did he have a job to do (save the city, work at alchemax) but also he found that other people did end up caring about him. At some points that didn’t matter to him, sometimes it did. It’s a fucking roller coaster, realistically.

With the scene right after the reveal of Tyler stone, Miguel’s really awful boss who groomed him into his position at alchemax, being Miguel’s father. We see a shot of either Miguel attempting or thinking of killing himself. Personally I interpreted it as an attempt. Felt like it was a spur in the moment kind of thing, which is realistic, as far as I know. Reading his dialogue and thoughts just felt real. It felt like someone was maybe directly talking to me about their thoughts or that i was reading someone’s journal. There was no filter. Miguel has no filter. I fucking love him for that.

Everyone in the story was just kind of an asshole in some way. There was no morally good or morally evil. I’d say everyone in some way was morally grey.

Miguel is kind of a dick, but he cares about the people around him even though he may not properly show it (whether or not that’s because of trauma or, in my personal interpretation, him being possibly autistic is up to you. I think it’s a little bit of both). He feels guilt when he hurts people, when he kills others, on accident mind you, but he does. He shuts down. He trails off. He’s not evil or malicious, he’s just very very emotionally damaged. Which by all means isn’t an excuse for how he treats some of the people in his life throughout the comics but they serve as a good explanation.

Dana generally seemed to… kind of care? She did sleep around and was bouncing between literally all 3 of the OHaras (Miguel her fiance, Gabriel her brother-in-law, and Tyler her father-in-law), but she also treated them more like trophies than anything. We didn’t see a lot of her backstory or motivations because she really just… was only there when the plot needed to mention “oh by the way Miguel’s fiance cheats on him”. I wish we got to see more of her, tbh. I wanted to see her line of thinking (maybe I will once I eventually reread but rn my brain feels like it’s about to explode and I need to eat something before it does. T minus 8 minutes /ref)

Gabriel. Just Gabriel. I do not have the right words to unpack him. Holy fuck.

Xina was a bit of a hothead, ig? She bounced off of Miguel’s character pretty well because she directly went against him. Not like she was a villain at any point but she did end up being at odds with him at some point, so.. she does, however, still care about other people and just like Miguel she feels so much regret about the past. I’d argue everyone in this story just kind of sits in a puddle of “oh god this unending agony”. I’m happy she seemed to be blazing her own trail at the end of the comic. Cool of her. Very cool.

Tyler…. Yeah I didn’t like him and technically speaking he is a villain, but he wasn’t entirely evil apparently, he liked Dana. Even though i don’t believe him. He’s a greedy shit who basically only values his role in a billion dollar company so uh.. fuck him. He’s not cool. I wouldn’t say he’s morally grey but if we take his word at face value he can feel love. I guess. But I don’t think he does. Nuh uh, Tyler Stone, Nuh uh.

Lyla was great. I love her. She’s funny, witty, her timing is great, she’s fucking insane sometimes but yknow what that’s fine. I saw a post describing her as “the weird fairy that haunts Miguel” (paraphrasing) and I cannot help but see her that way from now on. Especially movie Lyla. Because she’s just FUNNY in both and she’s so much fun I wish there was more of her in the comic and I WISH WE HAD MORE OF THAYT RANDOM PUNK VARIANT OF HER WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT—

Overall, I found the comics charming regardless of my few critiques. It was written well to reflect that not everyone is picture perfect, everyone is just a bit cynical, and relationships are rocky sometimes. Especially if trauma and literal actual grooming is involved. Also I smiled and cheered a little bit when Tyler stone died and when alchemax fucking exploded.

That was great

(Sorry if this was a little incoherent like I mentioned before my brain hurts and I’d probably have to reread over and over to get my full analysis, this is just my final thoughts after my first full read through)

Will I read the other Spider-Man 2099 comics?

Um

[freddiemercurydaily]

12 November 1977, Queen performed @

This is almost certainly the longest show Queen ever played, clocking in at nearly 2 1/2 hours. They play thirty songs in all, including eight from ‘News Of The World.’

“A Royal Quartet Rules The World of Heavy Metal Rock”

Boston — By New York or even Philadelphia standards, Boston is a generally sedate town, although an an outsider on hand last week at the Boston Garden would be forced to reassess any such generalization. Indeed, the more than 13,000 young rock fans who packed the Garden on the evening of Nov. 12-provided. an awesome example of mass hysteria, as the British rock group Queen unveiled a new stage show of such epic proportion and sustained excitement that there seems no way to adequately describe its impact.

It was only the second performance of the quartet’s current 27-city American tour (which touches down here at the Spectrum for shows Wednesday and Thursday nights), but it was a clear enough indication that Queen has blossomed into the leading practitioner of heavy-metal rock drama, With British kingpins Led Zeppelin temporarily out of the touring picture (due to the sudden death this past summer of singer Robert Plant’s young son), Queen literally reigns, thanks to ah impressive new album — “News of the World” (Elektra Records) — and the sort of non-stop, three-hour, no-opening-act show pioneered by Zeppelin in the early 1970s.

Queen’s triumph — after about five years of increasing popularity and one smash hit single (“Bohemian Rhapsody”) — derives from a wise and welcome change in musical/theatrical direction. Originally a busily theatrical “glitter” band reliant on a multitude of costume changes, smoke, strobe and fire effects, Queen has considerably toned down its flashy excess. With the exception of one major costume change — from stripes to sequins — on the part of lead singer Freddie Mercury, a modicum of smoke and flare, and a massive, 5,000-pound lighting rig in the shape of a queenly crown, the group’s theatrical impact is almost exclusively tied to its music. Noticeably phased from the current repertoireare the rococo, operetta-like tunes of an earlier period, and in their pIace is a masterfully paced program of eruptive yet polished hard rock

With such boldly articulate new, recent and old Queen songs ” We Will” Rock You,” “Keep Yourseif Alive”, “Liar,” “We Are the Champions”, “Tie Your Mother Down,” the group brillantly sates the mass appetite for the surefire basics of modern pop rock: soaring tenor lead and harmony vocals, pungent electric guitar lines, driving yet sophisticated rhythms, evocative Iyric:s and rich melodies.

“I suppose we’ve been leading up to this all long. It certainly feels like the breakthrough we’d never quite made” admitted Freddie Mercury after the Boston Performance. Mercury is tall, dark, muscular yet lean, retiring yet intense in terms of eye contact, and possessed of a rather pronounced overbite. He’s a gifted showman of genuine grace and relentless energy, a first rate vocalist and songwriter, and quite lucid on the subject of Queen.

“I think it got to the point with us where the theatrical tag began to take over our image, but it was only a matter of time before the musci began to come into its own. That’s what’s making the difference on this tour”, he reflects. In a near chair, bassist John Deacon – quietly amiable – nods in agreement.

“What bothers me so often when people discuss rock ‘n roll is their tendency to label it,” continues Mer­cury. “Either it’s ‘glitter’ or ‘punk’ or progressive’ or whatever, and these tend to obscure the fact that you’re really talking about a kind of entertain­ment that often touches on a lot of styles. The last thing l’d want to do is limit our music to a label.”

Speaking of labels, though — and of “punk” rock in particular — one can’t help but note that one of the group’s new tunes, “Sheer Heart Attack,” affects the piledriving intensity of today’s “punk” sound.

“I suppose it does, now that you mention it,” agrees drummer Roger Taylor, who wrote the song. Blond and blue-eyed, Taylor is very much the pretty boy of the band. “But even so, I wrote it a few years back and we only just got around to recording it. I do think, though, that the punk rock scene is still very nascent, and you’re going to see a lot of these young bands making a lot of crappy music before the good stuff comes along, i suppose it has to be that way”.

The nucleus of Queen — Mercury, Taylor and guitarist Brian May — met up in London in 1969 and rounded out in 1971 with John Deacon. Previously, Mercury had been with a group called Wreckage, while May and Taylor had been members of one called Smile. All four are in their late twenties, and each has a college degree, Mercury in graphic design and illustration, Taylor in biology, Deacon in electronics and May in astronomy.

The most accomplished academic of the four, May not only taught astronomy but published a few papers in British scientific journal before forming Smile with Taylor in 1968. Tall, leather Jacket and sporting an abundant mane of curly black hair, May could hardly look less a scientist.

“I was doing research on cosmic dust”, he explains, ” and I really did enjoy my work, in fact I still keep up with the latest developments”.

By now, the party has thinned down and it’s quite late – 3 A.M. – as May and I share an elevator to respective floors. he shakes his head, dazed and happy. “You know”, he odfers, “we’ve played a lot of places, but everytime I hear an audience roine crazy like they were tonight before we even got onstage, I get such a feeling inside, and I know I could never feel that way doing anything else…”

Source: The Sunday Bulletin

[adamwatchesmovies]

Civil War (2024)

Civil War is made with such skill and its tense scenes make you sweat at a level that makes you think “This movie must be saying something!” but ultimately, I’m not sure it is. That’s not necessarily a flaw. Many films don’t have great insights or lessons to teach. It’s just that this picture by Alex Garland makes you think it’s going to be more than it is, which may leave a small part of you feeling slightly disappointed.    In the near future, the United States are torn apart by a civil war. Secessionist forces led by Texas and California are moving towards Washington, where the President of the United States (Nick Offerman) serves his third term. Everyone knows the conflict is near its end. Jaded veteran war photographer Lee Smith (Kirsten Dunst) and her colleague, Joel (Wagner Moura), are determined to make it to the capitol before the Western Forces win the war. Joining them across the divided nation is seasoned journalist Sammy (Stephen McKinley Henderson) and aspiring photographer Jessie (Cailee Spaeny).    You can understand why someone would expect to learn something from Civil War. This conflict isn’t between North and South, it’s between East and West, which must be a deliberate choice to avoid commenting on the way history might repeat itself and talk about something else. The Capitol riots were only a few years ago. Maybe this is an escalation of the violence children see in schools. Could it be that we’re taking something that “only happens over there” and bringing it here? I’m not sure. If I were to guess, I’d say the film might be a commentary on war journalism, or journalism in general.

We see Lee flashback to things she’s seen while out in the field. Executions, blasted homes and people being burned alive. In her home country, she sees war crimes and the destruction of national monuments. She hardly blinks at any of it. When confronted by Jessie, she explains that documenting without interfering is her job, that she takes photos of people who would've died anyway and that trying to step in the middle of it would only put the journalists at risk. She even confesses that if Jessie was killed, she wouldn’t think twice about taking a photo of her death. I couldn't do that. I’m not sure how I feel about her confessing she could. Maybe that’s the point but the film seems to contradict this idea when Lee and the group are put in extreme danger (it’s one of the film’s best scenes, the one with Jesse Plemons you saw all over the trailers) and during the conclusion.

Maybe I’m just a dummy and I’m not seeing it. Maybe the point is that there isn’t a clear-cut answer, that Civil War is merely supposed to start a free-form conversation. The fact that no one may be sure is likely what writer/director Alex Garland was aiming for. 

Some movies like say… Southland Tales may seek to jump-start a conversation but are so loopy, incoherent and shoddily made that the questions it asks (or seems to ask) feel like insults. That’s not the case with Civil War. No matter what the intention may be, a scene where Jessie asks snipers who they’re firing at and they tell her that they don’t care is striking. We’ve seen films show us the inhumanity of war many times. Putting that war in a familiar setting, with people you recognize as both victims and perpetrators makes you uneasy, it frightens you. The situation is deliberately outlandish but the emotions generated are real. Suddenly, it doesn’t seem so crazy a scenario. How would people behave if their home was torn apart by war? How would you fit in?   Civil War is not the kind of movie you'd watch over and over again, though individual scenes will play in a loop in your head. Its intentions aren’t clear but this makes it even more memorable than it might’ve been if it did spell out exactly what it wants to say. I’m “only” going to give it a 3.5/5 because when you see the trailer, you expect a game-changer and it isn’t. That score is meant to skew your expectations so you come back to me later and say “No way, this was better than that”. Maybe that’s unfair to Civil War, but I feel like it’s fair to you. (October 4, 2024)

[ciaossu-imagines]

A couple more hours in the day would be awesome, along with the ability to postpone feeling the need to go to bed. Thank you so much. I’m just not used to being a super late replier so couldn’t help but bring it up 😅 It’ll be interesting to know how right or wrong you were and I’m looking forward to talking about it when the time comes and we’ve both read those chapters in English. We haven’t talked about it any more but yeah, I hope so. She’s now watching something called ‘Sign of Affection’ and recommended it to me so I hope to watch that at some point. And that’s so nice that you can do that with screencaps of the manga. It really is great and powerful in another way and I’m so happy to hear that’s the case. Those screencaps are so beautiful, in all kinds of ways 😭

Of course. Your rambles are always a great read. I most definitely am and even though I haven’t read what you posted yet the previous days, I do hope to at some point because they do seem interesting. And that sounds so great. I’m so happy to hear that. And I do like your plan of distributing everything evenly since it lets you try out all kinds of things. That’s nice 😃 I’m looking forward to hearing your opinion on it (the Black Butler manga) when the time comes. Yeah, like we’ve discussed in our private conversation. Like I used to use this website called ‘Anime Filler List’ that would say to what extent every episode was filler or non-filler and it really was so handy for when I didn’t feel like watching certain episodes, though sometimes the wikis also have that on the main episode page. Reading Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun! sounds like a great idea since you do deserve some light-hearted stuff after all that heavy business. And that’s great to hear, that you’re catching up and rereading everything at such a good pace 😃

Of course I like reading your textwalls / novels since they really are so great and interesting to read. Yeah. Like I have WhatsApp downloaded on my computer so it’s another app and it makes it easy to send long texts to my friend but I can indeed imagine it being quite overwhelming for her at times. And it most definitely is when it comes down to word count since there is no maximum so it could all go in one block and the image sharing is pretty good but one of the things that I don’t like about it is that when you send a bunch of images or receive them and go out of the conversation for a bit and then go back into it, they’re no longer under each other so I can’t as easily respond to them one by one like I usually try to do. It most definitely was and even though I know we’ll never see that animated, by the gods that would be amazing to see. Though of course I’m happy that I got to read more about them. That’s such a shame to hear and so strange since Haikyuu is quite a popular series. Hopefully by the time that you’ve watched everything there is to watch about it, it’s back on the app. Yeah, it’s because of that growth that I became so much less normal about my two absolute faves. Different I’ll say. Like he appeared twice before (so once in the first proper time-skip chapter near the end and after that in the first special chapter) and both times he was wearing the same kind of clothes and I was just like ‘In my mind he only wears these kinds of clothes and I love that about him because the thought is just so funny’ and then that chapter appeared and he’s wearing something else and it’s just casual so I love that. That image has become the death of me in more ways than one. But like I’m still convinced that he still mainly wears the clothes that he wore before, this is just a special occasion. And thank you so much for that 😭 Okay. I’ll send it later then and it’s nothing since editing pics like that doesn’t take a lot of effort. I see.

Thank you. There might be some more Nanbaka chapters translated past that point but I don’t think it’ll be that far but yeah, I’ll tell you where I am when the time comes and we can work with that. Oh, that does sound awesome and really handy. Okay, I’ll add it along with the image. I’m glad to hear that you’re healing slowly but surely and do hope that it doesn’t last for much longer. It’s a godsend for me as well since sometimes I forget to close the code for the italics and then I see that there’s something off in the preview so then I just have to go back and check where I forgot to do it. Also, you can save things as drats and I think it’ll remain there for two weeks, it does tell you at the top I think so you don’t have to post things straight away either. Ah yeah, I see. Luckily since I copy from Word I don’t have to use those breaks but yeah, now you know what’s possible and I think there is some more info on the FAQ or anything more that you might need to know. That’s nice 😄

C

I am definitely starting to think I need more than a couple more hours in every day! I got so caught up in writing yesterday that I ended up pulling an all-nighter, relying on coffee to keep me going when I started nodding off. I mean, I’m glad I got a good chunk added onto the queue and it’s going to be increased to twice a day now, but just a couple more hours in these days would be lovely so I can sleep and still do all these things! The ability to postpone needing to sleep would be amazing as well, not going to lie. I’m definitely going to need to tuck in early tonight to catch up on that sleep but I hate it. It sucks to feel like you’re wasting productive time passed out. And I’m looking forward to finally getting that reply to you via dm so we can chat about it but yeah, I called one of those twists, but I still can’t figure out why! Just…WHY!! And I know you normally answer super quickly, a stark contrast to me, who is always running behind on replying to people. I make a kind of lousy pen-pal that way, but thankfully everyone is really kind and understanding about it 😊 I’ve never heard of that one before? Sounds like a romance though, so it would make sense for me not to have in that case. I hope if you get around to watching it that you thoroughly enjoy it though! And yeah, I am horrible – every single panel that has information I want to remember or just has my favourites looking really cool gets screenshot and put into a folder on my phone. I have an SD card the folder is on because it takes up much more room than I would like to admit. I keep saying I’m just going to transfer them on over to my laptop so I can do comprehensive ‘Dee reads’ style reviews of chapters of things I’ve recently read or am reading but I never do get around to that. And thank you for saying that – to me, they genuinely do capture the theme of the manga and are just beautifully done art wise! I hope maybe they’ll get even one more person into the manga, because it truly is a wonderful one!

Aww, you make me smile and blush saying that! I’m glad they’re fun to read though and thank you for wanting to get around to reading all the daily posts I’ve been spamming everyone with. Again, I can’t say it enough, but I really do appreciate all of you lovely readers allowing me to have so much fun with the unrequested prompts so that I can write for all the fandoms I love! I haven’t gotten to the Black Butler manga, though it’s definitely on the list. My manga app is really handy in that it allows me to save all my favourites one place and then to save the ones I still wanna read in another list and I’ve just been working my way through that list bottom to top, which is why there’s really not too much consistency with how I’ve been reading and watching things, haha. I hadn’t known websites like that existed but that sounds so frigging useful, honestly. I’m not a huge fan of filler episodes, which is why I don’t normally love going anime only if a series has a manga, other than the obvious fact that I read a lot quicker. Finding ways to skip that filler would make anime watching a lot better for people like me. I really enjoyed finally reading the manga for Iruma-kun! It’s a lot of fun and the story is great, but I’m also not going to lie…I actually do prefer the anime for this one. The voice acting and especially the music really do add so much to this and I actually prefer the art of the anime more. That being said, having read the manga, I know we’re in for some amazing seasons of the anime!!

I honestly hadn’t know WhatsApp had an app for the computer as well! I know it has one for my phone, but I’ve honestly never tried it out, since I just text or use SnapChat. But having it on the computer would definitely make it easier to type out the long messages and I still maintain that I am sure she loves them, even if it might take her some time to read them all! Ouch on the images doing that though. That would kill my OCD, not even lying. Am I going to be missing out on a lot, by the way, just watching the Haikyuu!! anime? I did find somewhere I can read the manga, but it costs me $2.99 a month and I can only read 100 chapters a day, which will slow me down on my days off where I will sit and binge read. It’s the only thing that really bothers me about my manga reading app – they’ll take stuff down or off the app completely for no discernable reason. All I can guess is licensing issues? And I find being normal about characters overrated, haha, but I get very attached to all kinds of characters myself, haha. And I am going to be very interested to talk Haikyuu with you once I do get all caught up! I’m balancing it around another anime, that way I get to watch something heavily shounen when I’m in that mood but also get to watch something more easy watching and sports themed when I’m not in the shounen mood. And thank you again 😊 You’re very kind!

I keep holding off on reading the Nanbaka manga, just because of all the spoilers I have seen make me really think that I am going to hate the way it wraps up. But at the same time, I want to read it and say I caught up and see what happens with the characters I love! Thank you for that, by the way! I am finally all healed from the cold and hoping I manage to avoid any more like that. Dangers of working in a pharmacy. I legit had one lady sneeze straight in my face, not even bothering to cover her mouth, when I went to hand her her medications. Thank god my work is good about keeping our sink stocked with jay cloths and lots of antibacterial soap because I had to go and scrub my face after that. I love any site that thinks to put in the preview feature. Every writing site, in my mind, should have that feature just automatically built in, because I think it’s easy to forget, but how a story is formatted and presented can really affect how well people receive it, on top of the actual story itself. Thank you so much for the heads up about the draft files too! I love that and will probably make good use of them, knowing me!

[russeliarat]

Don’t you ever fucking suggest the idea that you are worth dying Russ. In what world are you making everyone around you miserable? If I am miserable talking to you than why am I even here?? If I was miserable I would walk away.

If you would like to know, I have before had the thought process that maybe it would be okay if I wasn’t here, it would be better for everyone. And then I woke the hell up and realized that offing myself would only hurt others. Not even just personal relationships, it affects a ton of people.

We feel intense emotion when someone has to do something drastic: rob a bank because they need money, run away because of their home life, or kill themselves because they either find it better for themselves or others. Suicide hurts the most because there is nothing you can do beyond that point to help because the person is dead.

And don’t even get me started on the PERSON SUFFERING THEMSELF.

I cannot describe to you what I entirely think about this in the limited language we have, the word I’m looking for is more specific than that one German word that specifies an old lady walking across the street with a fish or something like that I don’t know.

I have a Bo Burnham mindset when it comes to the world, an existential terror at what monster we’ve created, at what horror is to come, that there is no hope for a better future and one day we’re going to destroy this planet. But I’m still here, I’m still living my life, I’m still having fun and smiling and experiencing new things. Sometimes I mess up, sometimes I’m around people who belittle me, or who dislike me, or who infantilize me (it happens to me so fucking much) , but I don’t let those things drag me down.

I’m too busy loving existence, and finding joy no matter where I am (except anywhere near that one teacher FUCK HER-) . There is something from a podcast I listen to that describes my thoughts perfectly - no matter where you are, no matter how bad things may be, I think you can find joy. I found joy simply talking to you, and I took that joy as another reason to wake up the next day.

Most actions are selfish yeah, and maybe you’re right and it is selfish to crave death. It doesn’t matter how selfish you are, not to me at least, in my bed at five a.m. So don’t you ever say you are worth dying or I’m coming over to your ass and dunking your head in cold ass water until it clicks in your head that you are not the root of all suffering, that’s Hitler’s role.

Anyway, I just woke up and am about to keel over and sleep, timezones amr?

Being honest here, I'm not even sure why I posted that. I made it at like 3am when I spiralled hard and didn't know what else to do. I regret it deeply to be honest, I don't really want anyone to see me in that state ever, it's more than embarrassing.

I think it's been more than an understatement to call the last few weeks rough, it's been tougher than ever. You and others who visit frequently help me a lot to deal with this kind of shit but I never want to pressure anyone into feeling obligated to stay here. My feelings on this kind of thing is really complicated - I yearn for comfort and support but at the same time, I don't want anyone to become troubled because of my behaviour (something I've had to learn the hard way).

[thechangelingmushroom]

I don’t think I have so I’m about to

I put it under the cut, general warnings for literally stabbing someone and also death and ghosts are mentioned if you don’t like those

this came from a dream I had and I have no idea who I was with, so it’s just “you” and “I”

:D

Years ago, you and I fought. We stood at the old Kingsbury train station and argued about something. I got angry and stabbed you. 

You ended up missing for three months. The police found you long after I ran away and they held you somewhere safe. 

It's been a long time since you were released. We’ve talked again, and forgave each other.

I told you once, after a sinkhole opened up in the center of the now abandoned train station, if I ever went there again, it would be to kill myself. 

It's a warm day, the sun is just rising, the morning dew is on the grass. 

You see me, sitting at the edge of the hole at Kingsbury station, staring down.

You sit next to me, worried about my health. I continue to stare into the seemingly endless void. It has a greenish hue.

“Do you remember that day?” I ask. You look surprised but answer anyway, knowing what day I am referencing.

“Bits and pieces. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about it.” Your hand flits to where I stabbed you, instinctively. 

“Do you remember what I said?” I kick an old board out from under me, where it hangs over the side. It breaks easily and falls. We never hear the thud below.

“Sort of. It’s been a long time since then. My memory is hazy.” You smile sadly and watch a moth fluttering around nearby. It’s spring now. The bugs have finally returned after a cold winter.

“We’re no better than the police. And we’re too similar to be healthy. That’s what I said.” 

“Right. We’ve changed though, haven’t we?” Your voice is hopeful. I don’t understand why.

“I suppose so. How deep do you think it is?” I lean a little further over the edge, trying to see how deep the sink hole is. You grab my shoulders quickly to make sure I don’t fall.

“I’m not sure. It feels infinite, doesn’t it?” You sound worried. Understandably so.

“Yeah. I could fall down there and never feel the ground beneath me.”

“Please don’t.” I finally look at you, your eyes shimmer with worry. It makes me think of the color orange.

“What kind of bug would you be?”

“A bug? Maybe a moth. I’ve always resonated with them.” You look to where the moth was again. It’s gone now. Replaced by a gently buzzing bee. The sun has risen high enough to light the world. It’s still hazy near the station. The world is living in a greenish fog to us.

“I see it. Attracted to light, fluttering about through the night. Big or small, they just try to get by.” I look to the sky, it’s beautiful out today.

“I suppose you’re right. That’s a good way to think about it.” You smile at me, resting one of your hands on mine.

“I miss those days. The old days” I look back down through the hole. Nobody has come looking for us yet. They wouldn’t expect us to be at the old train station. Not when the wood is weathered and rotting. Not when we could fall into the seemingly infinite sinkhole.

“What happened to them?” You brush a rock into the hole. I watch it fall.

“I think we grew up.” 

“You think so?”

“Yes. We had no choice.” You look sadly at me. It’s an objectively true fact. Nothing can change that.

“You do have a point” I can hear you trying to make the situation lighter. It’s not working.

“Do you remember the day we met?”

“Of course.. How could I not? When you and I were in high school, we decided to explore this part of town. The abandoned old houses were still here. We thought they were haunted,” You chuckle softly. I glance at you. “Why wouldn’t I remember a day like that?”

“Sometimes people forget.”

“Okay. Are you okay?” I smile for the first time today. It’s a melancholy smile, but mine all the same.

“Is anyone ever okay?”

“Touche. Just.. let me know if I can help, alright?” 

“Okay.”

We sit in silence for a long while. We’re just comfortable in each other’s presence.

“I have a question for you.” You smile at me. I look up at you and tilt my head to the side. You stare into my eyes.

“What?” I’m confused. 

“What’s your favorite memory of us?” I have to think for a moment. I see your smile grow wider.

“The day we first talked to a ghost.” I cross my legs and pull my hands into my sleeves.

“Describe it for me.” You wrap your arm around my shoulders. I lean against you and take a deep breath. “It was summertime, before sophomore year started. We had been friends for a year. We decided to go ghost hunting again. This was two weeks before the abandoned houses were bulldozed. We finally got a ghost to talk to us. She was afraid…” I trail off, the memory growing hazy. You are patient with me. Astoundingly so.

“And? Why was she afraid?” Your voice is gentle. 

“She couldn’t leave and knew what was going to happen to her.” I finish the story before adding on, “I think part of my soul died the day those houses were torn away.” 

“Mine too. How about this, we can go visit the old site soon and see if she’s still there. I found my old ghost hunting equipment the other day, it’s all still functional.” Your voice has gone back to its old cheerful way.

“Okay.” I manage a small smile again. We sit in silence once more.

“Hey, thanks for always being here with me.” 

“You’re welcome. I can’t guarantee I’ll be here much longer. But I tried my best, right?” I hear you gasp softly and sniffle.

“You did so well. Why won’t you be here?” I lean my head against your arm and sigh. The fog starts to clear away. I see a frog in the corner of my eye. 

“We all have limited time on earth. My timer is just counting down.”

“Oh… Can I help you at all?” Your voice is sad. I feel your arm wrap around me. 

“I don’t think so. We can do nothing but wait.” 

“Then that’s what we’ll do. C’mon, why don’t we go have some fun for the day, okay?” I nod and stand up, we both leave the old Kingsbury station.

We spend our day together. It’s a beautiful day. We end up ghost hunting again. No ghosts to be found. 

The day ends nicely. You bring me home and head home yourself. I say goodnight and that I’ll see you tomorrow. 

Late into the night. There’s a loud crack nearby. The Kingsbury train station caved in and sealed up the sink hole temporarily. 

You come to visit me the next day to talk. I’m still in bed. 

I don’t seem to want to wake up.

Hours pass as you wait.

I don’t wake up. 

You go home and come back the next day.

I don’t wake up. 

You take me to the hospital in a last ditch effort to wake me.

The doctors say I will never wake again.

You visit the train station. 

You try ghost hunting.

I went to join our old friend, the ghost.

She says hello.

Have I shared the Kingsbury station dream/poem thing I did here yet?

[inacatastrophicmind]

Suptober, day 2: Pillow Talk

“Do you ever wonder what would’ve happened if we’ve gotten together sooner?” Dean asked as he ran his fingers through Cas’ dark hair.

They were in bed, exhausted from spending the majority of their day working on their lake house. It was almost completed, but they still needed to go through some details that would fully transform the house into a home, like adding pictures, finding the perfect shelves for their books, Dean’s movies and Dean’s records, getting all the indoor plants Cas loved, buying stuff for hobbies they wanted to try… It was a hard work, but it was worth it, because they were building their home together and on their own terms.

Cas looked at him with a thoughtful face. He looked a bit more tired than Dean, probably because he still was learning about the limits of the human body, but just like Dean, he was happy and relaxed by just lying on their bed, face to face, hands on each other, sharing a few kisses every now and then, having some pillow talk. They always loved doing that. Even when they were sleepy, they always did some pillow talk because they could now, because they weren’t scared of anything anymore, because it was just the two of them in love, happy and safe.

“Sometimes,” Cas answered after a beat. His hand was cupping Dean’s face, his thumb moving soothingly over Dean’s freckles. “But I try not to dwell in the what ifs of the past.”

Dean hummed. “Yeah, I get it, the past’s the past, we can’t change anything about it. It’s just— I dunno.” With his other hand, he grabbed Cas’ free hand and caressed his knuckles. “Sometimes I keep thinking about all the times I could’ve just told you that I loved you. It would’ve saved us both from the heartache.”

“Perhaps,” Cas sighed, looking at their joined hands. “I also wish I could have been able to tell you that I loved you sooner, but…”

“Yeah, there was always something. A monster, an apocalypse, a life or death situation…” Dean finished, and their eyes met, speaking a language that they both no longer found foreign. “But in the end, you did tell me.”

“I did.”

“And you chose the worst time and place to do so.”

“At least I found the courage to confess my love for you first.”

Dean couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He also found Cas’ cocky stare amusing.

“Okay, fair point,” Dean admitted, bringing Cas’ knuckles to his lips and kissing them. “Anyway, aside from the shitty and near-death experience we were in—"

“I did die, Dean,” Cas interrupted, frowning.

“Please, don’t remind me that, sweetheart.”

Cas’ eyes softened and looked sad for a moment. He leaned and pressed a soft kiss on Dean’s lips, and then said, “I’m sorry, beloved.”

“Okay, so,” Dean cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the memories of that night. He had managed to save Cas from the Empty in the end, but remembering Cas’ last death was something that still hurt Dean. Just like Cas still suffered some trauma from his time in the Empty. That night had affected them in different ways. “Apart from the situation we were in that night, weren’t you fucking terrified about confessing your love? Coz I’m pretty sure you didn’t know how I truly felt. Even if I thought I was fucking obvious, I’ve never been the best at expression my feelings. I’m still working on that, though.”

Cas smiled softly at him. It was the kind of smile he only did for Dean, and Dean’s heart skipped a beat, like it always did.

“You do express your feelings, Dean,” Cas said, making Dean frown in confusion. “Perhaps you don’t do it often with words, but you do express your love in gestures. I just didn’t know that back then.” He maneuvered their hands until Dean’s palm was free and he pressed it to his lips. It wasn’t the first time Cas kissed Dean’s palm, but it still managed to make Dean blush, which Castiel found lovely. “But to answer your question, I wasn’t terrified.”

Dean arched his brows in surprise. “You weren’t?”

“I wasn’t. I wanted you to know how much I loved you, and how much love drove you despite of your beliefs. With every word that I was saying to you, I felt happier and freer, a feeling that culminated once I told you that I loved you.”

Dean just looked at him, processing the words.

“I thought it was going to be a goodbye and that I wasn’t going to have time to face the consequences of my love confession,” Cas explained. “I was fearless, because I was finally able to tell you how I felt, I was able to tell you how much you meant to me, how much you changed me, and how wonderful you were.” He smiled at that, and his eyes got slightly glassy, probably feeling the emotions he had felt that night. “And I think a part of me knew that you felt the same, because I could see love in your eyes, even if I wasn’t sure if it was the kind of love I felt for you. But once you saved me, I found out that you loved me in the same way I loved you.”

Unable to say any words, Dean kissed him, hoping that Cas would get the message. Dean still was trying to connect his heart to his mouth, but it was still a work in progress. Thankfully, Cas was getting better and better at understanding Dean’s many languages.

When they pulled away, they looked at each other with shaky smiles and eyes full of love.

“I was gonna confess that night too,” Dean admitted in a whisper.

“Were you?” Cas asked, almost shocked.

Dean nodded. “I wanted to do it. We were probably gonna die and I just— I just wanted you to know. I was trying to find the courage to do so, but then you said that maybe there was a way to defeat Billie, and well, you know how it all went down.” He sighed. “But I wanted to tell you so bad, Cas. I wanted to just tell you, but in the end, I just— there was so much going on that I couldn’t say it back.”

“But you did say it back when you saved me,” Cas assured him, pressing their foreheads together. “And you still say it to me every day. That’s what matters, Dean.” He pressed a brief but lovingly kiss on Dean’s lips. “Better late than never; isn’t that the saying?”

“Yeah, surprisingly you remembered the saying.”

Cas rolled his eyes, albeit fondly. Dean grinned.

“The past is done,” Cas said, ignoring Dean’s comment. “We both made good and bad choices along the way, but in the end, we ended up here. And I think that is a good thing.”

“It’s a fucking awesome thing,” Dean admitted with a soft and happy smile that Cas soon mirrored. Then, he removed the distance in between them and kissed Cas one more time. “I love you.”

Cas kissed him one more time and with as much love in his voice as Dean, he said, “I love you, too.”

[jeffbrutlag]

No but it’s the way some of y’all on Twitter used the ease in which that app allowed dogpiling to drag me for a tweet that essentially said “trolls ain’t shit, don’t let them get you down” to make me look like I said “trolls are great, let them walk all over you”

The tweet in question:

Like?? Literally wtf

Could I have worded it better? Sure. But the context was clear: if you’re scared of someone calling you a slur online, just think of how sad they must be as a person to where THAT’S how they have fun

And then y’all SPECIFICALLY started targeting people I was close to, to make me look like I was some sort of abuser because when YOU said I was subtweeting you (on a tweet that was 100% not about you), you decided to PUBLICLY call me a gaslighter??

?????

You wanted to dunk on me to get your social media advocate points

So you could syphon a following off of what they’ve worked DAMN hard to create, leading with love and kindness

What makes it all so sinister is that you KNOW the language. You KNOW social Justice. But you use it in a way to make YOU look superior.

It doesn’t matter that the person you just decided to drag (IN PUBLIC) has, for simply being gay on the internet:

- been called the f-slur on a near daily basis

- been hate raided, flooding my Twitch channel with death threats, always targeted at me being gay

- has been SWATTED, like, a GUN TO MY FACE, for being gay

You don’t get to tell me what knowledge I can or cannot pass based on my own experience. If it doesn’t work for you, then it doesn’t work for YOU

But I, in good faith, would NOT impart knowledge on people that did not at LEAST work for more than just me

But you didn’t ask! You just assumed.

Because at the end of the day, you don’t know me.

You haven’t had a chat over coffee. Dinner at a place we’ve never been.

So why on earth would you, without knowing more about me than what I say in plain text, assume I didn’t do a little bit of my own research first?

The Oppression Olympics are the only games where if we all play, everyone still loses. The goal isn’t to reign supreme

Yes, intersections of PoC and queerness will create even more angles of discrimination. But a black gay man and a white gay man can get called an f-slur

And a PoC being called an f-slur can be completely separate from their races. That experience alone is still the one that relates me to the black gay man

And the tweet you dragged me over? THAT’S the experience I was talking about. Did…did we somehow miss that part???

I will never know what racism feels like. I’m Hispanic, but I have light skin and no discernible accent. Therefore I can never speak from a position of being PoC

But that doesn’t mean I have never been targeted in such a way to where I could have DIED. For being GAY

I genuinely wish only the best for you all, though. I say that with no sarcasm, no ill-will in my heart.

I hope you find what makes you feel fulfilled in life. Whether it’s content creation or something else entirely

Because I know for DAMN sure you need something better to do

[hardestgrove]

A prompt request in case it inspires you. Loving your Btvs/ST stuff and now I can't stop thinking. Mungrove with Vampire Slayer Billy (or The Slayer Billy) and vampire Eddie

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO [HEAVY METAL SCREAM] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

rating: G/PG warnings: none really lotta swearing tho words: 2,404 pairing: Billy Hargrove x Eddie Munson

no Ao3 link atm bc i'm lazy and this is just SO bespoke. i genuinely don't know what i wanna do with all the stranger things/buffy the vampire slayer crossover stuff in my head djksdfgdfs. i'll make a post for the ao3 link if i ever make one.

NOTE: this is a TRANSGIRL!BILLY EXPERIENCE! slayer lore is a "girls only" thing which, when you expand that past late 90s mainstream acceptable progressivism i've always interrupted as people who have a female spirit/vibe/essence/whatever the fuck. basically not bio-femaleness but idk like gender vibes. (i'll also say i'm nonbinary myself and the blood i sweat over this gordian knot is ridiculous and this is what i have thus far so we're running with it)

it's also my first time writing a transwoman character so i hope i did right by the girlies. lemme know if anything should be edited!

Billie should’ve slayed Eddie years ago. He was basically the one smudge on her otherwise perfect slayer record. She couldn’t find it in her to do it thought no matter how much she tried. Sure they’d gone at each other a few times, a murder attempt here or there from either side but honestly none of it was all that serious. Their fights always seemed to fall apart though by the end so at this point they just didn’t bother with it really.

If she was being honest there was more to it then just that. For a dead guy Eddie was full of life, bright and charming and just so excited about things. Billie spend so much of her life hunting things down, being hunted, beating the shit out of things, getting the shit kicked out of her, killing things and trying not to get killed back herself. It was dark and lonely most of the time, even if she’d never trade it back for her old life it didn’t mean she didn’t wish she had more in her life than death. And while she’d never admit it to a soul, Eddie made her feel alive.

The majority of vampires seemed stuck in time but while Eddie’s style hadn’t changed much since the 70s, he was different. He was handsome with big brow doe eyes, lean bodied with a wavy brown shag he hadn’t changed in like, 20 years, but still looked really good on him. But he was dynamic in a way the others weren’t. His look wasn’t stagnation, it was preference. Billie had always liked how his hands where bigger than hers, even if it was just by a little. He’d somehow talked her into letting him give her some guitar lessons (yes dumb idea vampire near neck, she knew this. We’ve already established the Eddie weak spot here though) and she couldn’t stop coming back to how long and pretty his hands were, how they covered hers nicely when he helped her work out all the strings and movements.

Eddie had a band — of course — and it was a actually pretty good. It was kind of a shame Eddie’d been turned, he was really talented, if he’d lived he could’ve really gotten famous. Now that he was a vampire though he was pretty much regulated to the small stages only, though he was actually pretty big on the supernatural music scene. Much to her chagrin Billie was starting to feel like a groupie. She tried to catch as many of his shows as she could for years now. And yes, okay — she was a little starstruck. Eddie had seen all her favorite bands in concert when they were making some of her favorite albums, he’d jammed with Metallica when they were hot off Kill ‘Em All. They liked all the same music and Billie lived for music. Eddie was, frankly, kind of a real rockstar in the demon world, like their best kept secret from the humans when it came to rock. Watching Eddie play was electrifying. He was gorgeous and powerful on stage, totally in his element. She didn’t get why he was still hanging out on the Hellmouth, LA was only two hours away, he’d do so much better there.

They were doing a cover of “Am I Evil” by Diamond Head and Eddie was practically crooning it at her where she sat at the bar. She blushed in spite of herself. He was such a little shit, always pulling shit like this with her. She stayed in her seat and she didn’t look away however, that’d be admitting he’d won which was so never going to happen. She stayed their whole set and left when they packed up to go do her patrols. Just like always. And just like always somehow Eddie found her no matter where she was.

She was in Restfield Cemetery doing a clean up of any newly risen vampires when he sauntered out from behind a mausoleum his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket grinning his stupid adorable grin.

“Hey baby. How’s the day in the office so far?”

Billie rolled her eyes. “Slow and boring. It’s been nothing but fledges so far and not even a lot of them.”

“Well hey, I’m here now. Can’t do much about the lack of villainous lambs to slaughter but I can fix the boredom part.”

Billie rolled her eyes. “Right so I can be annoyed and not get anything done all at the same time.”

“Oh baby, don’t be like that.” He cooed, coming to place his hands on Billie’s hips. She was only a little taller than Eddie in her heels. “C’mon. What can I do to turn my best girl’s frown upside down huh?”

Billie blushed again and looked down, the hand not holding her stake fiddling with his beat up leather jacket. Her heart always skipped a beat when he called her things like “baby” and “best girl” and they both knew it.

“Nothing. I just wanna finish my stupid fucking patrol report back that there’s nothing going on in this shithole town and go bed.”

“Nah not buying it. I think I know what’ll make my babygirl smile again.” His breath was cool against her cheek as he nuzzled her. “How about a private concert huh? We finish up staking my distant relatives or whatever, head back to your place and I play some of your faves. I’ll take requests and everything.”

Fuck, he really had her now. Eddie was always buttering her up but he was really laying it on thick to night. He probably wanted something then and knowing her, she’d probably end up giving it to him if it wasn’t totally insane.

She nodded and Eddie grinned even wider against her cheek before kissing the corner of her mouth sweetly.

“There’s my girl, so sweet for me. Now lemme see how ya tear em apart huh?”

Patrolling with Eddie was always more fun than patrolling alone. They flowed well together in a fight and when there was nothing to do he was a great conversation partner. They always walked together so close their arms would brush as they went. Some nights Eddie would catch her hand and hold it, winking at her every time he did. She let him, because she was a weak bitch who lost her shit over holding hands with her vampire crush who she should be staking. With Eddie there the boring drag of patrol just flew by and they were heading back to her’s for the night in no time.

They still called it her place but Eddie had an invite and somehow over the few years they’d been getting closer all of his things had ended up in her apartment. They slept in the same fucking bed now for fucks sake. Somehow Eddie had weaved himself into her life so completely she couldn’t pull the edges apart anymore. She knew the Council wouldn’t approve if she was still living under their thumb, Hopper barely tolerated it as it was. Sure, she was the Slayer but she was a 20 year old girl too. A girl who wanted a life, and to love and be loved. She was still scared to admit it out loud, afraid if she did he’d vanish like everything else that’d been good her life, but she loved Eddie. She loved him so much. And the things he did and said— it was getting harder to convince herself that he didn’t feel the same. Not when he proved it every day.

So what if he was a vampire. Was it so wrong for her to want this? Was there ever going to be a normal guy who could even understand, let alone keep up, with her? Why should she hold out on the off chance that guy did exist somewhere in the world when she had this loving man right here, now?

Ever the gentleman Eddie opened the door for her, his hand resting on her lower back as he ushered her inside. They both went to the kitchen where Billie pulled out leftovers for her and a blood bag for Eddie while he got a mug out for microwaving his blood. They waited around together for their food to be warmed up, Eddie wrapping her in his arms and swaying them as he hummed. Dinner was always a pretty lazy affair and they scarfed their food down at the counter before unceremoniously dumping their dishes in the sink to be tomorrow’s problem. Finally they both got ready for bed, Billie getting out of her very cute halter and into a soft pink pajama set and Eddie stripped down to his boxers. He laid his warlock down next to her on the bed but before he set it up for their private concert he maneuvered her to the edge of the bed and knelt between her legs.

His hands were cool on her thighs has he rubbed little circles with his thumbs into her skin.

“Baby there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while now.”

Fear gripped her immediately, the self doubt she still couldn’t shake rearing its ugly head. Did he want to break up? Did he want something she couldn’t give? To do something she couldn’t do? Had this all been a lie to get her so blind and stupid she’d help him do something awful?

Eddie kept rubbing in those little circles, his eyes were warm and gentle. Full of love. She took the leap and went with trusting him.

She licked her lips, her voice only cracked a little. “Yeah Eds?”

“Move to LA with me.”

She stared at him stunned for a long moment, totally thrown for a loop. Never in her life would she have thought this is what he’d want to talk about. Slowly she collected herself.

“But, Eddie I can’t leave the Hellmouth. It’s my job.”

“There’s the new girl here now and she’s been doing great. You’re not chained here and it’s LA, we’re only 2 hours away. If they need us we can be there in no time.”

Jane was doing well, especially with the help of her little gaggle of loser friends and Hopper keeping an eye on her. But she was only 15, she was a kid. How could Billie leave this whole place to a kid? A voice in her head pointed out she’d been about that age when she’d become the Slayer and she’d been basically totally solo through most of her tenure here. Jane had a group of friends to help and a Watcher who took good care of her. She was infinitely better off than Billie had been at that age.

Still she couldn’t just leave.

“I can’t just leave it all on her, it’s my sacred duty or whatever to—“

“Baby,” He broke in, his voice and expression sterner than she’d ever seen. “You’ve already died once. “

Automatically her hand came to the scar on her chest and she rubbed it absently. They only had Jane because Billie had died. There was only ever one Slayer, as like, a semi-reincarnated chosen one thing. One died and the next was called. But Billie had been revived in the hospital so now there were two.

Eddie continued. “I’m not saying you stop slaying. I don’t think you can ever really stop being a Slayer just like I can’t stop being a vampire. But I don’t wanna see an encore of that shit. Ever. Once was enough. I’m not gonna let you get stuck living a small life in a small town because of some ancient prophecy shit anymore just so that prophecy shit can snuff you out before you got a chance to live. You deserve more. Sunnydale was only ever supposed to be a pitstop for the band but I convinced the guys to stay because I loved you the moment I saw you and I wasn’t leaving here without you. The guys are starting to really chafe now, the music scene here is only half decent cause it’s a Hellmouth and 2 hours down to LA for club gigs is getting to be a pain in the ass. They wanna move to where the action is and I think it’s time for all of us— you included— to make the leap. I held off on talking about this until we could make sure that Jane’ll be alright so you could leave with a clean conscience and she’s gonna be as fine as any Slayer can be. Baby, I love you. It’s okay to move on with your life. You’re a grown woman and you deserve to be somewhere with more opportunities for your future. Steve’s already down there and you always talk about how you miss him. Wouldn’t you rather be living closer to your best friend then stuck hanging around with teeny boppers?”

Billie’s eyes were hot with unspent tears. He was right. She missed Steve. He’d been her only friend since she’d blown into Sunnydale and he’d moved down to LA to get work and try to get into culinary school after graduation and his parents losing everything because of tax evasion. She loved Eddie but she still felt lonely without her best friend. And she did want to do more with her life, even if it was just party and be somewhere that couldn’t be easily walked in a few hours again. She missed living in a real city like San Diego. She hated the idea she’d been holding Eddie back but she also couldn’t stop crying because she was so happy he’d stayed. No one ever stayed. But Eddie’d taken one look at her and dropped everything just so he could be with her. God he was too good for her.

Still crying she nodded, trying to smile. God she was glad he’d waited until she’d taken her makeup off.

“Okay Eddie. You’re right, let’s move.”

Eddie beamed and kissed her, wrapping an arm around her waist and helping her to dry her tears with the other.

“Love you baby.”

For once, she felt brave. “ I love you too Eddie.”

If it was possible he beamed even harder and kissed her again soundly before setting up with the warlock bedside her on the bed.

“Okay! We’re celebrating! Any requests from my lady love?”