#kind of an eyesore ngl

[itzabag]

I also decided to do day two of @jekyll-doodles’s Ortober art challenge

I chose happiness

This is with my OC Princey (they them)

For anyone who’s confused on why this is meant to be happy, they’re just REALLY high on god know what, so that’s why they look like they’re losing it.

(I mean they are but like, I’m not gonna stop this)

[judesmoonbeauty]

Jude Jazza's "The Past Records": A Ruthless, Arrogant Man, & An Unfulfilled Promise - Record 4

This is a fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors and translation inaccuracies. Cybird owns everything. Re-blogs are appreciated, but please do not post my translation elsewhere. Thank you for your support! ☾.

CW: Child abuse, Mentions of Human-Trafficking

Please read chapters 1-3 here.

Jude: Hah? …Sold?

When I returned home, my younger sister wasn’t there.

I couldn’t connect the word “sold” spoken by my father and older brother, so I just stood there like an idiot.

That’s when I noticed something unusual on the desk.

That’s money in a bag.

My heart started pounding loudly.

Jude: …..Whaddya mean by sold?

After forcing the information out of the two drunks, it seems some nobleman called out to my father and older brother.

“If you sell me your little sister, and she’ll receive treatment for her illness.”

Jude: So, does that mean ya guys sold her? To that guy?

Jude’s Father: She’ll have money ‘n she’ll be cured, she’ll be happy.

Jude: That…..Yer really sayin’….

It was obvious they sold her for money.

Jude: What happiness….! Why, why!

I wanted to beat my father and older brother so badly, but I held back.

(I don’t have time dealing with this shit.)

(I hafta find my lil’ sister!)

Even though I ran everywhere searching, I couldn’t obtain any information.

Desperately, I barged into a gang’s hideout in search for information.

Jude: ….Guahh

A heavy fist hit my cheek.

Gangster Man: What’s with this brat. This ain’t a place kids should be!

Jude: I’ll definitely pay ya back later. So, lend me yer help.///

Gangster Man: Ain’t no way a runt dressed in rags’ll be afford to pay.

Gangster Man: Yer an eyesore, if ya don’t wanna get killed, get gone!

Gangster Woman: Dontcha feel sorry for the poor kid.

Gangster Man: B-but……

Gangster Woman: I don’t like men who ain’t kind. Hey, kid what’s the matter?

Jude: D’ya know of any noble named Lord Hargrave?

The only clue I had was the name of the nobleman who bought my sister, that I got from my father and brother.

And then, the woman looked down sadly…..

Gangster Woman: I know that name —

The next words, pushed me into the depths of hell.

How did I manage to walk here?

Before I knew it, I was beating on the door of that shitty doctor.

Oswald: What’s wrong, Jude….you’re injured.

Oswald: …..What on earth happened?

Jude: ………

Oswald: Jude?

Jude: …….Was.

Oswald: ……..

Jude: Was sold.

Oswald: Sold? ….Surely not!

Jude: My lil’ sister was sold.

When I said it aloud, the vagueness of the truth took shape, and weighed me down.

Jude: My ol’ man ‘n my brother were blinded ‘n snatched by money.

(Why would they treat my sister’s illness?)

Jude: Ain’t no way they’d buy her for a pittance, ‘n paying’ for her treatment. She’ll be treated like a playthin’’n killed.

Such rumors were not uncommon. Besides….

[Flash back]

Jude: D’ya know of any noble named Lord Hargrave?

Gangster Woman: I know that name —

Jude: Y-ya do!?

The woman spoken plainly with a sad look.

Gangster Woman: “Lord Hargrave’s” name is…..

Gangster Woman: A fake name. I’ve heard that name several times, it’s most likely a street name.

Jude: …..A fake name?

There wasn’t a single shred of evidence left behind.

It was so quiet that I could only hear my heart beat.

The ground was shaking — but that’s when I suddenly realized.

It was my body that was trembling.

All strength left my body, and I fell to my knees.

(Arghh…….)

Jude: ….Argghh, why’s this happenin’ to me?

[Past Records Master List] [Record 5]

NGL, had a real hard time not putting: 'Jude's Sperm Donor' instead of 'Jude's Father'. I'll filet that guy!!!!

Dividers: @.natimiles Tags List: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @velisle @nateko @greatwitchsongsinger @cosmowgyrall. @lunaaka @rosalyne08 @8the-perfect-lie8 @injudescoat @aeyumicore @complexivelovely

Please let me know if you'd like to be added to my tags list! Please specify the suitor or if you want all IkeVil translations.

[cringefail-clown]

here's something different but ive been trying to come up with some concepts for the kids planets in turnabout! since their session is no longer void i had to come up with some ideas of how their lands would look like in a "normal" one and it's... a lot of work ngl lmfao

some more info about the lands in under the cut

First one is jakes! still not sure about the name but ive been thinking of Land of Sparks and Peaks (LOSAP) or something along those lines. the land is covered in glittering golden grass hills and mountains full of caves, perfect for exploring. the consorts are pretty friendly and helpful to their hero. jakes quest would have something to do with gaining the confidence in himself to use his aspect (achieving his peak you could say ehehe)

dirk's a fun one. it's a Land of Roots and Reflections (LORAR). absolute eyesore of pastel blues and pinks, roxy loves it, dirk not so much lmfao. the whole land is covered in huge forest with gigantic roots that make trekking through it a challenge. leafs are made of shards of reflective glass, which can be pretty dangerous to navigate through them. the consorts are absolutely useless - something happened to them that makes communicating with em impossible, they just wander around kinda souless. dirks quest would be to fix whatever happened to those guys, probably through breaking something, was thinking of some kind of mirror

now roxys is a huge work in progress, i was thinking bout Land of Darkness and Sands (LODAS) but we'll see. its a desert planet void of basically all life. it's pretty dark out there all the time, and the water that once flown through the land turned into some kind of tar-like substance. the consorts are few and far between, travelling through the land in small groups. her quest would have something to do with restoring the oasis that once existed and was home to all of the life on the planet

and that's basically it, it's still very much just a concept so i'd like to know what yall think!!

[datotherd00d]

RSA Fanmade Dorms

Thought I should share a fleshed-out(ish) list of dorms that me, @chohouse , and @dizastermango made for Royal Sword Academy. Honesty thought that RSA should get more love (plus it was a lot of fun to make this, especially since I have some OCs that go to RSA). Also I made a Pinterest board for the dorms, the dorm uniforms, and their ceremonial robes.

The overall inspiration of these dorms were the supporting characters in the stories of the Big 7, but it’s the characters that were associated with the heroes. Now with that out of the way, here is the list!

- Iterspeculo: Spirit of Carpe Diem

Themed off of The Mad Hatter

Pronounced as “I-ter-speh-coo-loh”

Carpe Diem roughly translates to “Living in the Moment”

The complete opposite of Heartslabyul when it come to organization and tidiness

Basically an eyesore, and constant game of ‘Eye-Spy’

Dorm name was made with: ‘Speculo’ which is Latin for mirror, ‘Iter’ meaning journey, so it completely comes out to ‘Journey (through the) Looking Glass’ 

- Baoheart: Spirit of Mindfulness

 Themed off of Rafiki

Pronounced as “Bau-hart”

ALL DORM MEMBERS LIVE IN A GIANT BAOBAB TREEHOUSE! It’s pretty cool ngl

This dorm is SO chill and can be wise. They have a lot of relaxing activities like yoga and meditation sessions. Literally living that Hakuna Matata life 

Dorm name revolved around the tree that Rafiki lived in which is a Baobab tree, and the heart because it sounded better and more whimsical than tail or fang lmao

- Plimsoll: Spirit of Sharing

Themed off of Scuttle

Pronounced as “Plim-sl”

Nautical and sea port vibes with this dorm (ngl was hard to figure out, so I mixed it together)

Heavily community based! Everyone helps everyone out because why not? The more the merrier! 

Literally a silly headcanon, but the common room has a deep brown wood flooring to imitate a ship and someone made the joke of it looking like shit, so now everyone calls the common room the “Poop Deck”

Name came from the Plimsoll Line of a ship, which is a mark on the hull of a ship indicating how deep a cargo ship can travel safely to trade goods

- Sadjinn: Spirit of Friendship

Themed off of The Genie

Pronounced as “Sah-jin”

Kind of similar to Scarabia, but it has that overall “goodness” to it

Not as many parties, but still very much so community based

It’s a more creative dorm that leans more into enjoying what you have and making the most out of it with the people you have. Literally if Kalim was a dorm it would be this one.

Also, the Cave of Wonders is where the dorm resides, and it is surrounded by a beautiful oasis and small forest of sorts

Name came from: ‘Sadiq’ meaning friend in Arabic, and a Djinn (Jinn) is another name for the mythical creature of a genie (this is under the pretense of fiction and fantasy rather than the Arabic/Islamic religious aspect of Jinns) 

- Septierre: Spirit of Humility

Themed off of the Seven Dwarves

Pronounced as “Sep-tea-error”

Such a hardworking yet humble dorm. Like omg- this dorm is that meme that is like “It’s not much, but it’s honest work”

COTTAGECORE VIBES!!!

Literally all of the produce and materials for the school is from this dorm! The students in this dorm are basically all in agriculture and geology, it is wholesome and very simple living

Mostly flatlands with cottage dorm rooms/dorm housing. It’s cute ngl. A lot of orchards and mines and woodland creatures

Name came from: ‘Septem’ which is Latin for 7, and ‘Pierre’ roughly translates to ‘stone/rock’

- Fulgyros: Spirit of Growth

Themed off of Philoctetes (Phil)

Pronounced as “Fuhl-ger-ose”

Dorm of perseverance and growth (emotionally, physically, and mentally. Literally in every possible aspect)

Basically the gym bros/fraternity of the school lmao, but don’t worry, they’re usually himbos. Just want what’s best for everyone and will help achieve that goal

All Ancient Greece influences, kind of a mix between Mount Olympus and Phil’s home/training area. Ethereal and godly vibes with white and earth tones. One of the more pristine dorms, especially with their mostly white uniforms

Name comes from: ‘Fulger’ which is the Latin root word for ‘lightning’, the suffix ‘-ysos’ from Dionysus who Satyrs would be associated with (along with Pan), and ‘-os’ from mythos

- Rosasci: Spirit of Harmony

Themed off of The Three Fairies (Flora, Fauna, and Merrywheather)

Pronounced as “Roh-zeh-see"

Spirit comes from the three fairies working together to raise Aurora despite how chaotic it was. They worked in harmony together and were able to make things work. So that same vibe of responsibility and harmony of oneself and community is prominent in this dorm.

All roses imagery with no thorns. Thorns are a big nono in this dorm

Was another difficult dorm to figure out, but then again this whole school can be viewed as pretentious, so why not add in that overly sweet ‘goody-two-shoes’ aspect lol

However, this dorm is so pretty and very Fairycore with flowy and whimsical uniforms and decorations

Best way to describe the dorm vibe is the Moors in the first and second Maleficent movie

Name came from: ‘Rosaceae’ which is the botanical family name for roses. It’s a simple but pretty name.

- Bonus HCs

Snow White’s Wishing Well is the magical object(?) that sorts students into their dorms

The way it works is that you have to sing a tune or something into the well, and the well sings back to you what dorm you are sorted into. Note that the voice singing back is a collection of voices that are in perfect harmony. It’s creepy if you think about it because do those voices belong to anyone??? Who knows.

Also, students arrive to RSA in a brilliant, blinding white, pumpkin carriage drawn by horses, pegasi, unicorns, even comically large seahorses/dolphins, you name it! It’s magic- anything is possible.

Honestly think of the flying carriages in Sophia the First, and bam it’s that, but a white pumpkin! 

Everyone is alert and awake during their journey to the school, with various magical accommodations to make the trip as pleasant as possible. Hungry or thirsty? No worries, a menu with simple summoning spells fixes that. Bored? Don’t sweat- free wifi in the carriage AND a hidden movie screen to watch the latest block buster starring Vil Schoenheit  and Neige LeBlanche. It’s basically a first class seat on a magical airplane. Straight up comfort.

However, once you do arrive to the school and land, your luggage disappears (of course there is a notice before you land). Once you get your dorm and room assigned, your luggage will already be there waiting for you

Students are dropped off towards the back of the castle where staff greets the new students on the outskirts of a whimsical tree line. Upon crossing into the forest, students are magically dressed in their ceremonial robes and matching makeup . They all flood into a large whimsical pavilion full of seats (think of the one from Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses) that surrounds a very well known wishing well

After the ceremony, the headmaster opens portals to the Heart of the Castle where the main portals are.

RSA has a similar portal system to NRC, but the room is full of really pretty ports that fit the decorum of each dorm/school location. It’s located in the heart of the castle, which is easy access for the students and staff

That is basically all of the headcanons I had, and I hope it helps in any creativity process, or was enjoyable! Let me know if you want any more HCs or have any comments, questions, or concerns! It was a blast making this!

Also! If you want to use any of this for OCs or fanfics, please go ahead!! Just please link this post and like/reblog 🖤 I appreciate those who want to use this! Thank you!

[tiffanybluesprinkles]

time to hate on another tumblr update?

What exactly has been updated so I can rant about it??

[bestworstcase]

A loose end I noticed that canon neglected to tie up was that we never found out what the fuck happened to Tromus. He’s not dead like Gothel or imprisoned like Sugracha. He sorta just disappeared in the sand tsunami. What do you think he’s been up to?

realistically i think the intention is for us to assume he did die in the sand tsunami. the dude did full on disintegrate after all. and screaming “this isn’t over!” in his dying moment because he knows zhan tiri managed to latch onto cassandra’s brain is kind of a power move ngl

BUT canon is over and it’s my city now and tromus does have quite a lot to do in bitter snow so... yeah.

in this case it’s literally my city. bitter snow!tromus lives in antares, a large city-state in the general region of the great tree and the dark kingdom. (the shell house wasn’t his home. it was a trap.) his house is like.. he’s the guy in the suburbs with the rainbow house the hoa hates, you know? the whole exterior is tiled in nacre and it’s half buried in climbing roses and is just. wildly and flamboyantly incongruous with its neighbors but That’s Mr Tromus he’s just Like That you know. and he’s sort of a pretentious dick but he’s also rich and not shy about spending money (and could probably support the antares curio and antiques industry single-handedly), so like, you know, the neighbors tolerate his quirks and his eyesore of a house. he’s an eccentric fixture of the community. no one quite knows how old he is.

aaaand of course he’s up to his eyeballs in the cult of zhan tiri located in antares which is like—i feel like the antares cult is half cheerful garden club and half our religious festivals are absolute bloody screaming chaos and everyone is a bit terrified of us; the dionysus vibe i guess. sometimes you get the cheerful wine god and sometimes you get the maenads ripping peoples heads off and parading them through the city. no in between. tromus doesn’t lead it because he’s more interested in pursuing his personal studies when he’s not, you know, grocery shopping for a moonstone vessel for The Boss, but he knows them and they know him and, like, bother him a lot because unlike most of them he actually knew/knows zhan tiri personally.

i was very tickled by the fandom theory that all the weird crap rapunzel dealt with in the first half of season 3 was tromus throwing random artifacts at her to keep her distracted for zhan tiri and while i don’t buy it in canon that is 100% absolutely something bitter snow tromus does. he’s mr throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks. it. drives. zhan tiri. insane. she’s like “what are you doing” and he’s like “huhuhu i am sending the sundrop a dragon egg” and zhan tiri’s like “BUT. BUT WHY” and tromus is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

sugracha meanwile is a lot more practical and i imagine her and tromus having a sort of competitive quasi-sibling-esque dynamic. she heckles him about his giant library of dangerous artifacts he teases her about her giant crush on zhan tiri but when working in tandem they actually do make an extremely effective team. tromus isn’t a details guy but sugracha very much is, and where he’s an eccentric scholar she’s a people person who likes getting her hands dirty so their skill sets are very complementary. the reason he failed in the shell house was sugracha wasn’t there to be like woah cool your jets dude.

[xadoheandterra]

@gdipalomo I really struggled on this because fuck I couldn’t think of anything worth it involving found family that wasn’t angsty as all shit (my depression is coloring shit) but I finally got something together although I’m still not too happy with it. Hope you enjoy this mess of a fic! (I was gonna draw, but I couldn’t find my pencils...so I had to write something instead) Also ngl I reference my favorite Christmas Movie in this. Santa Clause is the BOMB and I will fight any who say otherwise.

Eight Little Lights

Winter was not something easily discerned in Blood Gulch, but Church had an internal clock now that he could read the day and time from as simple as could be—except even now Church found himself distracted with the insanity of the Reds, and even of the Blues, enough that he didn’t realize the date and the time until it was the day of. To be fair Church had never been the best Jew when he’d been alive—to concerned with the science of the world, computers, attempting to be a good soldier and failing—and then failing at—at something he couldn’t remember.

(Charmaine)

(David)

(being a father)

(except that wasn’t him, really)

(even if he wanted it to be)

When it did strike him, the date, time, the significance, Church felt like a gut punch had torn through him. His father would’ve had his head as a kid for forgetting—his grandmother would’ve scolded him something fierce even more—and it made him miss them for the first time in forever because for the first time in forever Church was aware. He’d never been the best Jew, that was to be fair, but he’d not once ignored the Menorah when the time came. Except now there was no Menorah, no candles to light, nothing to say for himself despite the observed tradition for twenty strong years. It tasted like ash.

As the sun dipped beneath the canyon walls that night Church didn’t light a Menorah, didn’t recite the payers, and felt like a generally shitty person for the lack of any real observance something that had been normal before Blood Gulch. Instead Church stared up at the starry night sky and wondered how his life got to be this.

Tucker dragged Church out with the promise of little nuanced talk, shooting the shit, and trying to figure out what Grif and Simmons were saying upon Red Base. Church sat against one edge, Tucker laid flat even though both knew that neither Grif nor Simmons would ever shoot at them. Blood Gulch was a game they kept going because it was familiar and because it was expected but no one really intended to kill one another anymore. Not since Flowers died.

“I swear their flirting,” Tucker grumbled. “The two should just fuck already and get it over with.”

Church snorted. “Please. Those two will continue to dance around one another until they’ve got no other choice.”

“Should just get the both of them drunk and stuff them in a closet. Think that would work?” Tucker glanced up at Church who cracked a grin, helmet off.

“Nah, I say tell ‘em they’ve beathed in magic sex pollen or something like from one of your porno’s. And get them drink. Then stick them in a closet. It would do them a load of good, wouldn’t it?”

“Damn straight,” Tucker snickered, reached out, and fist bumped Church with a grin.

Later that night Church sat atop the base and once more watched the stars, didn’t light a Menorah, didn’t’ say his prayers, and tried not to think about how upset his grandmother would be over his failings to get something this simple right. He did see Tucker sneak off the base in the middle of the night, and it made him wonder, but then he saw Tucker heading to Red Base and decided he didn’t want to know.

The third night was actually Donut’s Wine and Cheese Hour so Church found himself for a little while just forgetting and relaxing and it was blissfully perfect. Sarge really knew how to put together a functioning robotic body and fuck he didn’t realize how much he missed things like sex until he had a physical means to do so.

Sneaking into one of the heads of the various Reds and Blues as they masturbated—mainly Tucker—really didn’t quite cut it as physically being capable of something like an erection and arousal and Church had no idea what it was about Donut or the Wine and Cheese Hour that tended to become sex. It was different when it was him and Tex because those things were a violent mess of regret. This shit with Donut was different and Church liked it. His happy little bisexual ass wanted to be pampered from time to time and Donut liked to do the pampering.

Church took what he could get, let himself feel a small sliver of happiness in a cesspit of grey and depression, and moved on with his life. He didn’t quite fall asleep—he couldn’t sleep these days, but he drifted in static afterward feeling like a warm puddle of computer goo and it was nice.

The fourth day had always meant something special during Hanukah for Church and he couldn’t identify why, but as the day dawned and then moved toward dusk despite having a happy, wonderful night the night before the melancholy bit itself back into his mind with a vengeance. Church stayed in his room all day on base and stared at a photo of Tex and wondered what it was he forgot. There was something about the image that was so wrong, that had been so wrong since Blood Gulch and maybe before that even, and it gnawed at him. What was he missing?

(Allison was dead)

(it’d been just him and Charmaine for years)

(so then where was she?)

(where were the kids?)

(where was his daughter?)

Caboose lingered out of his doorway like a bad smell and more than once Church tossed a pillow, a lamp, anything at the door to get the behemoth to leave him alone because that was what he wanted. To be left alone with memories that didn’t line up quite right, with a tradition that didn’t fit, and the realization that his family was incomplete. Church ground his teeth together and tried to ignore the way Caboose spoke to Tucker in a loud whisper.

“He’s angry right now.”

“Yeah I know man. Any idea what?”

“I didn’t do it.”

“I get that dude. Maybe it’s something important about the date? Do you know what’s important about the date?”

“The santa man is coming soon. Could that be it?”

“…fuck, maybe?”

“FUCK OFF ASSHOLES!” Church screamed, threw the desk at the door, and buried himself in blankets into the silence.

Day five; still no Menorah, still feeling like an utter shitheel of a human being—dead or otherwise—and Grif shouldered open Churchs blocked off door. He was out of armor which when Grif came by the base for reasons not pertaining to ‘Red versus Blue’ he was typically sans armor—it was how they showed they meant things to be more casual than anything although usually one of the guys had something armored somewhere. Caboose was a disaster of a man and no one was safe except, for some reason, Grif. Still his arms were packed full of snack cakes and a few shitty holiday movies. Some were titles Church recognized.

“Bum over we’re having a movie day,” was all Grif said as he shoved Church to the side, piled the snacks onto the bed, and commandeered his computer.

“The fuck?” Church mumbled faintly to himself, too exhausted to really care that his space was being invaded right now. He found himself with handfuls of candy, the kind that had hidden gifts instead, Church noted, all were uniquely holiday themed although not all were necessarily Christmas themed but they were definitely holiday themed.

“I’m putting on a favorite, so deal with it,” Grif said and put in some old santa related movie that Church vaguely recognized.

“Is that…Tim fuckshisname?” Church cocked his head. He wasn’t too certain of some of the old actors that were well before his time, but he thought he recognized this one.

“Tim Allen,” Grif nodded, “and yeah.”

“…I think I remember this one.”

“Good. Then enjoy it, will you?”

Church let himself be manhandled until he found himself squashed next to Grif, the pile of candies littered in front of him, eyes glued to the computer screen as Tim Allen’s character got drawn into being Santa through magic and bullshit and bad luck. It was funny, and it was something Church didn’t realize he needed until he did and it was there.

Church’s gaze may or may not have lingered on the dreidel that very briefly entered the screen and then left, and he may have mumbled, “Used to have one of those,” half into candy that he couldn’t digest as he watched the movie with rapt attention. Grif didn’t say anything if he did.

Day six and seven of the week blurred together with restless energy that Church spent cleaning up after Grif left the following morning. He hated the way the base looked, so he cleaned. He reorganized. He reorganized again. He reorganized things a third time. Eventually an intervention was needed and it came in the form of Sarge who stormed up dressed completely in armor because it’s Sarge and Church was pretty sure the bastard slept in his red suit.

“Quit yer frenzied nonsense right this dangnabbit minute!” Sarge hollered, enough to stop Church just outside of the base who blinked and stared and wondered what he did to deserve this. “It’s a right eyesore and those two lugheads can’t stop jabberin’ about it. I can’t take it no more!”

“What?”

“Jes shoot at us or enact your damn dirty blue plot already you heathen and quit it with the cleanin’ torture!”

“What?”

Church stared, baffled at the man as he ranted and raved about the depravity of a Blue cleaning and couldn’t quite parse what he was hearing. This wasn’t typical Sarge behavior at all as usually when the man came over it was to berate Church for not taking care of himself, to beg him to come and surrender already and ‘rescue’ one of his ‘captured teammates’ or to make surrender himself for the ‘return’ of ‘one of his men’ that Church somehow captured and/or brainwashed. Church could never quite parse the insanity that tumbled out of Sarge’s mouth and blamed ninety percent of it on trauma left over from the man’s helljumper days.

Eventually Sarge took Church’s silent staring as compliance and left. Church didn’t go back to cleaning and instead wondered what alien came and replaced Sarge this time.

The last day was beautiful and Church didn’t want to get out of bed. By the time night would roll around he’d have spent eight days with no Menorah, no prayers, and feeling like an even shittier man that he felt going into the holidays. He didn’t want to leave his room—except it was Donut Wine and Cheese Hour day again and Church hated to miss those. Donut would come and physically drag him out of he missed one of those, whether they had sex or not.

Begrudgingly, as night began to fall, Church made his way over toward the cave system that he and Donut snuck off into for Wine and Cheese Hour even if he didn’t feel quite up to it. At first Church didn’t notice the lights, but then the bright red Christmas décor suddenly was in his face and he couldn’t ignore it. The cave looked as if someone set Caboose and a thrift store for Christmas and holiday paraphernalia at it and that just hurt Church’s eyes something fierce.

When he finally rounded the corner, resigned to going through this farce of whatever the guys had put together, it was to Caboose loudly proclaiming, “SURPRISE,” which echoed and caused everybody within earshot to groan and cry out.

Tucker snapped out, “Caboose! Use your fucking inside voice, man!” and Caboose shouted, “OOPS,” and then quieter, “oops,” as everyone groaned and yelled again.

Church eyed everyone—Sarge, Tucker, Caboose, Donut, Grif, Simmons—and the mess that surrounded them. There were piles of pretty wrapped papers, snow that Grif somehow brought into the canyon although who knew how long that would last, an actual Christmas Tree what the fuck?! It was like the guys went and just decided to dump every wintry holiday right in the middle of Donut’s Wine and Cheese Hour and Church didn’t know what to think of it.

“Here!” Donut thrust some prettily wrapped gift of weird shaped nonsense into Church’s hands. The paper tore and Church could see something metal glint inside and felt his nonexistent gut twist. “We all saw how down in the dumps you were, Church, and thought we’d better plough those holiday blues away! So we greased up and dove right in to that—”

“Donut!” Grif and Simmons both chimed in, each in scolding tone, as Tucker pulled Church just the slightest bit away.

“Open it, numbnuts,” Tucker shook his head and Church carefully tore at the wrapping paper. He was surprised to find a hand-crafted Menorah the result behind it, and even more surprised at the fact that he wanted to cry. “We all kinda saw what a little shit you were being and it took some google fu on my end to figure out what the fuck was up.”

“Next time man just tell us it’s a major fucking holiday or something,” Grif waved one hand negligently. “None of us even realized it was December until like five days ago!”

“I…” Church floundered for words. How did they even know?

“You made us put a Jewish star on you grave maker, remember?” Tucker grumbled and slung one arm over Church’s shoulders. “Once I figured out it was Hanukah Grif realized you were missing a Menorah and Simmons said something about that being important or some shit and, yeah. Here we are.”

“This way next year you’ll be able to light the candles and not feel all shitty about forgetting an important holiday tradition,” Simmons nodded.

Donut moved up around Church’s other side and leaned in. “I know it’s too late and all for this year, but we really didn’t know what was going on in that head of yours, Church. You should’ve said something!”

Church struggled to put into words what he felt, instead he hoarsely said, “You assfuckers,” with a choked off laugh a minute later when Caboose unveiled the large human sized dreidel and asked how to play.

It wasn’t perfect, not yet, but damn if it weren’t as close as—and damn if it didn’t mean the world to Church. These were his assholes, in his little box canyon, giving him holiday gifts on the last day of Hanukah and fuck if it didn’t mean the world to him. Him—the shittiest human being that ever existed.

“Fuck you all very much!”

“AND A FUCKING HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO ASSHOLE!” Grif yelled, and they all burst out into laughter.

“A LITTLE TOO EARLY THERE FATASS!”

“Oh, are we not celebrating the birth of the baby managers son?”

Church laughed.

“It’s baby Jesus in a manger you idiot,” Tucker grumbled, “and no, we aren’t! Fuck,” and Church laughed.

Yeah, it wasn’t quite perfect, not yet, but it was as good as for this little box canyon in the middle of nowhere.

[berrymeter]

okay so some of these i don’t think u listen to/are interested in if they just debuted but u like me so u will have to handle my commentary anyway <3 this got Very long bc it turns out i missed Everything Ever. i debated adding svt commentary since i missed 3 (edit: it’s 4. i missed 4) whole mvs this year but i did it anyway bc why not. i probably missed some still but like given the list already it’s good enough i tried to post this for a whole hour i hate tumblr

drum by checkmate - it is a great debut imo...... maybe i’m biased bc i missed coed groups that don’t have gargantuan matthéo in them but i rlly like the song!! and um the leader miss sieun is hot ahaha anyway,

la di da by everglow - Songs That Fuck. i REALLY like it and i hadn’t expected it tbh fdslgkdhg onda actually got lines and um sihyeon’s voice is just!! yes... the song in itself is so much better than dun dun and adios i’m living. also i am looking at aisha <3. beautiful by dongkiz - uhh i liked lupin better but the song grows on me everytime i listen to it also kyoungyoon is litrally insane (vocals wise) and munik wore a thotty weird little shirt in their cb stage so i’m fine with it. the vibe of the song doesn’t fit the mv at all HDJKSHF bad idea by moonbin & sanha - another sexy bassline after open mind. the song isn’t entirely memorable ngl that may also be me not really liking moonbin bc of his fatshaming comments but yeah like i mean it’s a song with a sexy bassline i guess parting by onewe - YEAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! THIS SONG!!! onewe’s best comeback since regulus!!!!!! I Recommend Her!!! i will forever recommend her she’s so good!! onewe have the advantage of having a rapper who isn’t obnoxious. cya’s verses really flow well with the song i love this little man. umm anyway yonghoon another insane SINGER not vocalist SINGER and hehehe harin & kanghyun hot i will not comment on dongmyeong i already said too much ok don’t be shocked when i announce the title but back door by skz - i actually like this song a lot more than god’s menu LMAO the choreo is #cringe but like the song is good if u ignore chicken little. changbin and jisung are Great. i’m just wondering if minho even was in the song bc i did not... see or hear him. probably chicken little’s shitty mixing again tho helicopter by clc - not their worst cb but... not my favourite either u know? but the visuals of the mv are Gorgeous and also yeeun <3. the song gets stuck in ur head easily and ig it also grows on u the more u listen to it... it feels like that kind of song anyway obliviate by lovelyz - reminds me of girls by nature ndkjghfjfshdj. i do like the song but it’s a little.. well ... not very unique......? not that it’s surprising but the instru during the chorus could’ve been... different..... criminal by taemin - at first i was disappointed LOL but as the song went i thought... well. taemin wants to do different. this is different. i’m only disappointed bc i had expectations. the song is not bad. and so i really like the song actually HDJKSHFJK i just, didn’t like some of the backgrounds, the bits with the white background were kind of an eyesore for blind bitch perth but, the song is Good and the la la la is very haunting gnfkjhngj. thank u taemin. taemints do not interact light by up10tion - it was going good until i heard the deep voiced rapper jump in HDKJHFK no no the song is good but like it’s a boy group song u can’t expect anything too crazy. better than their previous cb imo but like yk. a song of ice and fire by onlyoneof - i’m... GUESSING that’s a comeback. yoojung is pretty. don’t rlly have anything to say boy by treasure - um... i really like the chorus what the hell? of course the song is not worth the one year and a half long wait for their debut but i hate yg and that’s just nothing new coming from yg. i initially didn’t wanna pay attention to them bc it’s yg but i thought hey, i listen to ikon. everyone’s listening to bp. i’d been waiting for these boys so it’s just stupid. and well boy is pretty good. i feel like i just listened to bling bling 2 i love you by treasure - shut up i missed two songs this Happens... umm this is dna except much better . unnecessary rap part but you know it’s yg it’s a boy group WHAT DO YOU EXPECT. maybe when they’ll get creative freedom i can be harsher on them. the song is very catchy i enjoy it a lot but i feel like yg is trying to recreate older ikon which is really weird to see considering how they treat ikon lol.. the stealer by the boyz - i didn’t wanna watch it bc all of you new juyeon stans make me want to d word plus i just dislike deobis in general but well here i am. uhhh it’s a the boyz song in the vein of reveal i guess. please shut up sunwoo and new i don’t like you. YOUNGHOON? haknyeon. changmin is a sagittarius. YOUNGHOON?? um why is this asshole getting multiple verses when i don’t like him? (those are live reactions) the song is okay i guess but the people i dislike in this group are too distracting and should talk less my my by seventeen - there we are..... after almost 4 months <3 ohh i really like this song!!!!! um! this is bright and comforting i really like it. adding to my “i could fly to this if i had wings” playlist. i have no idea why i thought it was a japanese track? because this is decidedly not japanese. idk my brain is weird sometimes left & right by seventeen - this is the infamous plagiarism song. idk if i really wanna say anything abt the song lol it’s fun but like <3 pledis hasn’t addressed this at all & they’re gonna get sued (i hope tbh). like that... sucks... for svt... i guess... tho it sucks more for cupid lmao since kpoppies are Like that... but um. all i will say? jeonghan 24H by seventeen - WAIT I FIGURED OUT WHY I THOUGHT MY MY WAS A JAPANESE RELEASE it’s bc i missed not 3 but 4 svt releases. i missed fallin flower too. well i’ll get to it anwyay. 24H is really nice i think it’s my favourite svt release this year. idk what to say about it just i really really like it fallin flower by seventeen - MINGHAO FIRST LINE!!!!! [redacted]. mr coups! this song is also really nice i appreciate. the buildup and then how it calms down for the prechorus... and then it builds up again..... um the first part of the chorus is boring but it’s okay seventeen does that a lot. i love the aes of the mv i’m gonna stop here <3 that makes 18 songs. i can also harass u to listen to the other recent releases i like if u want tho hold on this just came as an ad so i ended up listening to it on accident... umbrella by h&d - IDK WHO THOSE DUDES ARE but this song is nice and chill ?? WHO are they. are they some x1 dudes??? wait the keyboardist is a woman?? WOMAN!! i love her long skirt who is she

so i caught up on some cbs i missed last night before crying myself to sleep is anyone interested in my opinions

[beevean]

Steven Bomb 6 Impressions

Lion 4: I've seen the leak a month ago, and... I didn't like it. And it's not because "muh plot" (although yeah at this point I'm getting sick of Steven angsting, and I can't believe I just said this), it was just boring in general :\ It was just Steven talking to himself, like in Storm In The Room, but without all the tension. 

And besides, am I the only one who feels like the Nora tape... devalues the Steven tape? Like, in Lion 3 it was such a touching moment, Rose talking for the first and (maybe) last time to her son, expressing all of her love... and now we discovered she did the same thing twice. Now it feels more like a script, like she's written down what to say, with little improvisation. It sucks out all of the spontaneity.

The only thing that caught my interest was what looked like Pink Diamond's space ship. I wonder why her ship was in the desert while her palanquin was in Korea, though. Can't wait for the flashback of Pink's death!

Doug Out: I'm so glad they finally gave Doug more focus - he's suck a dork, but still not falling in the hated Bumbling Dad trope <3 I wonder if he was always like this, even in Season 1, or if he mellowed out after Connie expressed her frustrations to Pryianka back in Nightmare Hospital. I wish he had more presence sooner. The episode itself was tense and funny at the same time, and I didn't feel like there was too much mood whiplash, that's great. Very enjoyable :) I wish I didn't see the promo, or the ending would've made me go "OH SHIT". I've gotta admit, as much as I didn't like Onion Gang, I did warm up to the kid, so I did feel worried when he started muhmuhing to Steven near the end. So... good job, I guess? Now I just need a reason for Rocknaldo to exist. (also the Mario shout out made me laugh out loud) (and I spotted Steven's very old drawing of Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire <3)

The Good Lars: Oh Lars, I never know whether to love you or not - you're certaintly one of the most interesting humans, that's for sure. ngl, the title gave me The New Lars flashbacks. *shudder* When Sadie said "They like you!" I expected Lars to say "No, they like me if I act like Steven", just as a somber call back. ... and later Steven says happily "I spent a day in you body", with no reaction from Lars, just to piss me off. (although I laughed at "I wish I had a way to contact him with my mind... oh, wait, or with my phone!") The episode touched Lars' tendency to act like someone he isn't... and it's so weird that I wished the plot didn't get in the way of character development. I can never be happy, can I? :^) But seriously, maybe Lars' Head will accomplish what this episode only started, and make Lars learn to be himself. I never realized Sadie never interacted with the Cool Kids, and I love how welcoming they are :) they're like "cool, paper plates! Sit with us on the bean bag!". Go Sadie, make some friends! "When did you learn to be so mature?" "Somewhere between learning to summon my shield and finding out my mom is a war criminal" And Steven took a lesson from Sonic Boom and went full meta. Also Lars almost confessed to be in love with Sadie and stop being cute Lars nobody gave you the right to be cute So yeah, this might be one of my favorite townie episodes, and definitely the best Lars episode :)

Are You My Dad: Maybe is an unpopular opinion (I stayed far away from the SU tag as soon as the sneak peeks came out), but I really don't like Aquamarine's design. She looks like a fan character of someone who thought it would be nice to have a pixie Gemsona and took too much inspiration from Lapis. Her teardrop-shaped gemstone being near the eye was a nice detail, though, and I like her cute but flat voice. As for her personality, I have the impression I'll love to hate her, she's a spoiled brat but she's so endearing <3 As for Topaz, I don't like her (their?) design either, too blocky, but my first impression was kinds drowned by WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ASSIMILATING THEM (and the way she does is clever, I admit) "We should preparing for a fight!" I think I heard every fan shouting "NO FUCKING SHIT" And Pearl building a sand castle and calling it a tiny house for crabs cured my anxiety, cleared my skin and made the sun shine outside Nothing else to say, another good episode that built up the tension pretty well.

I Am My Mom: SO MUCH GOING ON AAAAAAAAA "Why is Homeworld stealing humans from the boardwalk?" Uh, didn't Ruby, Sapphire and Steven hear Yellow Diamond say that there's still time to pick more humans? Why are you acting like that conversation happened in private? D: Connie has Alone Together as her ringtone, I love her <3 Now that the theory that Aquamarine and Topaz are kidnapping the people that Steven mentioned waaaay back in Marble Madness has been proved true, that's such a bit of clever writing <3 it explains why they're right here in Beach City, it's a wonderful domino effect, and it's all Steven and Peridot's fault! Because Steven absolutely didn't need another reason to feel like garbage! =D Such a gut punching moment, both in- and out-of-universe. Love it! I wish Peridot was here to feel like garbage too. (wow that came out wrong) Aquamarine is such a wonderful, horrible, at times scary bitch. And here I thought Holly Blue Agate was detestable. I wonder, what is her purpose on Homeworld? She looks like a little version of Lapis, but she has a telekinetic ray (?) to move objects, so... does she terraform in a much smaller scale? And they brought her to collect humans because she can fly and she can trap things with her ray without hurting them? (also I noticed that all Gems from Blue Diamond's court are at best prideful and at worst arrogant. Maybe they're all valuable Gems. Aquamarine is definitely much higher than a Quartz, judging from how she talks to her. Blue Pearl seems to be the exception, poor thing :( ) Alexandrite, my favorite eyesore! =D Now you're up to two speaking appearences and a non-speaking one. That's a lot for a Fusion. The ending was magnificent. All of the angst, all of the shocking revelations, and Steven at the end accepts that Rose is part of him, but he can be better, and fix what she's done, not because that's his purpose but because it's the right thing to do. And everyone was devastated, the lightning was so somber, Pearl was crying, and good thing this is the last episode for now because Steven's going to Homeworld where he will be this close to getting ground to dust and I can't handle this THANK YOU PLOT AND FEELS FOR COMING BACK

... wait, Lars is there too :o He never got out! Now I don't know what Lars' Head will be! I’m expecting a truckload of character development either way.

Conclusion: HOLY SHIT I'M SO HAPPY WE'LL SEE HOMEWORLD AND THE PLOT AND THE ANGST WITH A PURPOSE