#kim burgess meta

[kim-ruzek]

I'm just gonna talk about the beauty and poetic and totally perfection of the framing of the domestic burzek scenes, and the proposal because I just rewatched it and I'm losing my mind all over again.

The episode starting out with Burzek doing their routine dance, showing them in their groove and utterly rocking domesticity, and family life balancing work, their relationship and a child highlights just how far they've came and how settled they've gotten. They've truly hit their stride, and you can see the confidence that exudes of both of them, but especially Kim, that it has created. They've created this amazing safe space for themselves, built a life where they truly get fulfilled and supported - and have the family and ease they both have dreamt of.

It really sets up that Kim can afford to go so hard in with this case, because she has her family, her partner. And she can afford to help out as a spanish speaker in a much needed time, because she doesn't have to worry about the affect on her family. She has Adam. Adam is fine, and Adam has Mack so she can be cop!Kim, without worrying she'll be like her parents. There's nothing she has to sacrifice anymore, because her and Adam have worked out their kinks and ruts.

Like in a lot of her episodes and with cases that hit her hard, we can see that she's gone all in. She's not going home or sleeping, and she keeps working at the case, keeps feeling what she needs, but it's different from before. She's more confident in her movements, and she doesn't feel as desperate, like she doesn't get so 'lost' in it, and that is because of Adam. Because she knows she has him, knows he's anchoring her, and knows when she goes home, she can talk to him, share her thoughts and he'll be there with her.

Which we then see her do, when we see her at home. We see her talking to Adam about everything, see her tell him about the cards, and how much she needs the family and how this makes her feel.

The framing of the two scenes, the start and the end, very much shows how things work in Kim's mind, and how they always really have. When she's home, she's home and when she's at work, she's at work. And before that has meant that she has to shut off at work, and bury everything down at home and that's not been healthy for her - but she needs that divide.

But here we see she's gotten that balance down. She knows she's supported and loved, and she knows she can come home to a family and also that she can lock that part away when at work to not let the darkness touch it, but not in the unhealthy way she did before, that she's not shutting it down and more just getting herself into that routine - and she's still engaging in that side of her, for example, when she texts Adam. She's no longer, as well, living just for the job, but for that family.

At the start, Kim is relaxed and at ease. Then she has a tough case, and while she's still a little wound up in a tired way, you can see her physically relax when at the end she comes back through that door. She knows she can decompress and she knows Adam will be there.

I love how in the bedroom, Kim can talk open and honestly about everything and Adam just comes with support, love and validation. They truly have become partners in every way. And Adam listens, he hears what she's saying, and he knows that it is the perfect time to get out the ring, because she needs that.

Really, all she needs is to hear him say he'll always fight for them, and this is what he gives her even before. And how Kim reacts to that, and how she looks at him when she asks, it's not because she's never heard that, it's because she has and she knows if she asks, he will reconfirm that they are forever.

The engagement, in many ways, is just an acknowledgment on both of their parts how they've gotten into this routine, that they're good, and solidifying it. A visual and legal reminder to say we're forever and this is something we'll always fight for. And it's solidifying the book-ending of the two domestic scenes, and everything it means.

This is of course expressed visually, and I've talked already about the role the ring plays, but it's also expressed verbally. At the start, Adam says "third times a charm" about Mack's permission slip, which is then called back to with Kim saying it about the proposal which just unites both their family life, their routine, the past and the two scenes.

And it's just so beautiful.

[fighterkimburgess]

Good morning. Still basking in last night’s episode. I have a tremendous amount of agreement with you on the Fangirlish reviews. One thing I’m not clear on is when they talk about Voight lying to Kim and being the cause of the trauma. Maybe initially when she didn’t know, but now?

I know that Voight, Hailey, and Jay did conceal what happened to Roy, but even though they didn’t show it, Kim has to know that Roy’s dead and not a threat. FBI dweeb (I’m drawing a blank on his name, right now), had to report that Roy’s body was found, even though he concealed part of it, by saying a rival killed him.

Am I off base on this? It’s been bothering me a bit, but I can understand it because they could’ve followed up with a scene of someone telling Kim that he’s dead. But I don’t think Voight continued to contribute to her trauma.

Glad to see you back!

Oh I’m gonna go on a ramble and I have no shame. Because Voight completely thinks of Kim as his daughter, and it’s been shown time and time again since season seven. And just because something isn’t shown on screen doesn’t mean Kim doesn’t know.

She’s in therapy. I guarantee if Walton was still out there - or Kim thought he was - it’d have been brought up. It’s too juicy a topic not to being up. She knows he’s dead. Should the show have shown us that? Yeah but last season was Eid plotted so…

But back to my Voight and Kim thing. In 7x11 he hugs her and grins when she tells him she’s pregnant. We’ve never seen Hank Voight do that. Ever. Not even with the woman he raised since she was fifteen. The look on his face outside the hospital room? The way he let her work on the case in 7x13 even though she shouldn’t have? Tell me he doesn’t adore her. Try it.

All through season 8 he’s checking in on her about Makayla. When she’s abducted it’s the “or her daughter” that makes him decide to kill Walton. Watch his face closely in that scene. Walton’s getting beaten, but it’s not until Makayla is threatened that Voight goes feral. There’s a meta I wrote that’s linked in my masterlist about this.

And then season 9 and checking on her in 9x02. Telling her in 9x14 that he wouldn’t bet against her. In 9x15 he’s the only one who knows what Adam and Kim are going through and tries to guide them.

And then last night. If you think for a second that that man was going to pull Kim you’re wrong. If you think that was anything other than a man who is watching her claw back from the brink, and is so proud of her? You’re wrong.

It’s a man who has watched his pseudo daughter battle demons that he can’t imagine, seeing her beat them. It’s a man who can’t tell her how proud of her he is. But he’s showing it in every way he looks at her.

I’ll never say Voight is a good guy. But he truly loves Kim Burgess like a daughter, and if you don’t see that then you are will fully just looking at him to hate him.

[kimburgess-ruzek]

8.07 instinct // 8.16 the other side

ruzek’s ci, tommy, his wife tells adam that’s she’s afraid he’s going to die before making it to the other side. up until now, adam has had kevin’s back. he told kevin that he would do anything to help kev catch those patrol officers planting heroin in his car. he defended kevin against voight when voight wanted to put that man in a cage. but after watching his ci, his friend, die while he was trying to play by the book before making it to the other side, he begins to change. after this is when the bond between him and kevin start to break. he starts to bend the rules here and there. and the crack gets larger and larger with each passing case. and then he finds kim — his friend, partner, the love of his life who now has a daughter at home — in this similar problem. kim, who since the beginning has tried to do the right thing but keeps getting hurt in the process. after he sees kim in this parallel predicament, he’s not going to let her fate be the same as tommy’s. he’s not going to let her die before she makes it to the other side. because kim deserves it. because makayla needs kim. because kevin needs kim. because voight and the team need kim. because he needs kim. that’s why he goes off the rail. he’s been in this position before. he thinks he sees what happens when you play it by the book. and didn’t like the outcome of the first situation, so he’s going to do everything in his power to change the outcome of the second.

the other side seems to be different for each person.

[gabbagabbadoo]

CPD Summer Project:

I'm planning to do an entire series rewatch of Chicago PD, paying special attention to how the titles of each episode play into either the episode itself, the character who says the title, the theme of the season, or any combination of those things!

It's always been fun for me to get to the "aha moment" of hearing the title spoken in the episode, and I think tracking it and analyzing it will be interesting.

I'll be using the tags #CPDtitletracker and #Gabbywatches (the second one is more for me) so if you're interested in following along, or want to throw in your own thoughts, feel free!

I'll be starting July 1st, aiming to post 2 episodes per week.

As of right now, I don't have any plans to do this with Fire or Med, but who knows! I'm really excited to get into this and hope whoever stumbles upon my little ramblings enjoys it.

[elliegoestodownton]

So A War Zone is such a great episode even though we are losing both Tay AND Mouse at the same time! 😭

Let’s start with Mouse and the fact that he was really unhappy staying back at the end. Was it the right decision to go back? Who knows, but I am glad that Jay finally realised that he could not decide for his friend (thanks to a big nudge from Erin). More friend points because Jay told Platt about the felony that needed to disappear (clearly, she is the one making things happen rather than Voight and we all know it).

I SO loved the Burgess-Tay partnership and it’s immensely sad that not even “the woman that can” © managed to go over Fogel to let Tay stay, although it makes for a good reflection of where we’re at (or rather we’re not yet) in terms of gender equality. I’ll miss Tay and sincerely hope she will be back at some point, having prevailed over Fogel and gone onto more awesome things than parking tickets at the courthouse. Perhaps a reunion with Kim?

You go, girl! for Kim at the end, going to Voight and making her case as to why she is the right person for the unit. Although I know this will be the end of the patrol angle and I am doubly sad.

Shout out to my fave Trudy as well. That bit when she sits down with the kid and tells him that her mom was also angry most of the time but it’s not their fault? I need to know more! Because clearly, in between her convo about trust with her dad in 4x03, mentions to her mother before and the fact that both her parents seemingly weren’t that happy with her being a cop, and this? Where’s that damn backstory??? (And we all know that Amy would totally kill it) Saw a post before about how many of the characters in the OneChicago universe come from a fraught family background. Should we add Trudy too? I would love to know if this was part of the reason that pushed her into this career and also the fact that she might be more guarded around people at first.

[59054]

 @flamewrit​:   can you write about adam's thought process showing up to the motel and his mindset first finding kim in the bathtub thanks x

adam found out that kim had already gone into the motel before backup arrived,    he felt like his heart was pounding out of his chest.    he had been worried the entire time that she was working while pregnant,    but it was on the car ride there that he genuinely felt a sense of panic.    voight was driving,  with adam in the passenger seat.    he didn’t have on a seatbelt,   because he was in such a rush to be in and out of the car that he didn’t even bother to think about it,    but held onto the grab handle so tightly that his knuckles were white.    everything felt like slow motion,   and when they arrived at the scene,   adam jumped out of the car before it even came to a full stop.   but as worried as he was,   nothing prepared him for the sight of her curled up in the bathtub.    nothing prepared him for finding her sopping wet and covered in her own blood,   whimpering in pain.

there wasn’t much time to think when he ran in there  ––  he just acted on instinct,   and all he knew was that he needed to get her out of there.     in these moments,    the thought of the baby didn’t even cross adam’s mind.    all he could think about was kim and making sure that she was alive.

the car ride to the hospital was nearly silent beneath kim’s soft crying.    voight drove them with the sirens on,   adam in the back of the car and kim in his lap.     he had one arm wrapped around her while the other clutched her head against his chest gently.      when they arrived,    worry and anxiousness weighed heavy on his shoulders,    and underneath it all,   he felt a sense of impatience among all of the urgency.      he wanted everyone to work faster  –––  wanted someone to tell him that kim was going to be okay,   that although she had just undergone such a violent trauma,     she was going to have a healthy beating heart when he saw her again.   but he knew he had to be strong for her.   this wasn’t about him.    this was about kim,   and she was going to take this hard,   whether the baby lived or not.    he needed to be there for her as support,    and so he kept a lot of the emotions he was feeling tucked away.

[vladyhead]

Chicago PD 6x14: doppio trauma per Burgess (VIDEO)

#ChicagoPD 6x14: doppio trauma per Burgess (VIDEO)

Chicago PD 6×14 trama e promo – Il quattordicesimo episodio della serie tv andrà in onda sulla NBC mercoledì, 13 febbraio 2019. Il titolo “Ties That Bind” regala una visione ironica su quanto accadrà nel nuovo appuntamento, che ci parla di Burgess. Dopo aver faticato a lungo per voltare pagina, la nostra Kim dovrà fare i conti con quanto sta accadendo a Ruzek. La trama di Chicago PD 6×14 la…

[nakeddeparture]

BARBADOS/THE WORLD (Naked Departure) — LAST WEEK IN PHOTOS as they appeared on Naked Departure and dealing with the world.  Naked Departure

Rickson Leacock MT38 assaulted his girlfriend AND did not hold a charge

Ralph Gonsalves accused of Rape while giving speech in New York

Millions in the US and around the world protest Trump’s presence and policies in the White House

Robert Monague Rape Accusation

Robert Monague Rape Accusation

Robert Monague Rape Accused

House Sold blog

Kimberley Jones of Arabian Knights

Kimberley Jones of Arabian Knights

Shantye oro Shonte…..

STOP insuring your vehicles and homes with CGI.

Denise Waithe of the QEH

MONEY LAUNDERING: If the white trash, the Duekcs, can get away with money laundering, so should you Dawn Latrecia Taylor Burgess

BARBADIANS are C*nts: a foreigner’s take on things

Butch Gordon, white man to the rescue in St. Lucia

Butch Stewart, white man to the rescue

CANCER: meat-chemically-treated-old-expired

CANCER: Rotten chicken

EXPIRED foods!!

Samantha Grannum, running midget Lil Rick down

Lil Rick, disrepectful of women and children but still rewarded in Barbados

Overrated midget, Lil Rick

Nikita Belgrave married an old white man

Peter Harris and Freundel Stuart — How much $$ did he give PM in bribery

President Trump and first lady Trump

Michelle Obama and Melania Trump

The Trumps and the Obamas

Quincy Jones School Teacher with little boy sitting closely/tightly between his legs

Muslims creating a powerful subculture in Barbados

Re: Quincy Jones

Quincy Jones with school boy sitting snugly on him

Re: Quincy Jones

Quincy Jones with Ronald Jones – Entire family are said to be twisted

THE LIST: Mark Brewster of Sagicor

THE LIST: Noel Lynch

THE LIST: Leroy Parris

THE LIST: Terrance Holder

THE LIST: Corey Lane, hiding in a closet within a closet! Huge Chin Meridian!!

Corey Lane swollen CHIN MERIDIAN

THE LIST: Corey Lane

THE LIST: Kenneth Connell

Darcy Dear and his HUGE chin meridian

THE LIST: Tino Best

THE LIST: Bruce Rowe

THE LIST: Bruce Rowe

THE LIST: Piss in a bag Elliott Belgrave

THE LIST: Magnus Whitehead, got fired from BCCI for irregularities, is incompetent, unemployable, arrogant, poor

THE LIST: Thomas Harris

THE LIST: Richard Harrison

THE LIST: David Ellis

THE LIST: David Ellis

THE LIST: Chris Birch, shrouded by DEATH!

THE LIST: Wayne Maynard

THE LIST: Jepter Ince

Ellerslie School and the slackness of their teachers

SOLD!!!!! GONE — CGI Tower sold? to Scotiabank

Visionary Claim of Good Governance — see blog

Co-operators General Insurance and fraud

Romario-Lewis-dead

Kim Angoy of Chinese Restaurant in Barbados

Kim Angoy and Chinese Restaurant blog

DEAD!! Romario Lewis shot multiple times and found dead in St. Philip, Barbados

BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Irwin Marshall

Heather Wick

Ecaf: Time for the Black Face logo to go!

Tracey Lorde-Williams’ husband, Philip Williams, is a cheater!!

DEAD!! Adrian Boo Husbands

DEAD!!!! Adrian Boo Husbands

Old Bay and Swibbly Hands saved me $10,000.00

Ronald Jones, Minister of Pedophiles

DEAD!!!! Leon Anthony Richie DEAD over $440.00 debt – Guyana

Rickson Leacock MT38 assaulted his girlfriend AND did not hold a charge

CIA Releases 13 Million Pages in Declassified documents, including UFO sightings

The Sleeping Giant talks Productivity

BERENICE CRADDOCK, Mrs Africa CONTINENT

LIVE BLOG will record videos of child abuse sent into Naked Departure

Jackson, Charlize Theron’s son, transitioning into a girl

Jackson transitioning into a girl

Jackson transitioning into a girl — in this photo, you can see some sugar in the tank

BOYCOTT: Take your money out of Barbadian Banks!!

New Political Party: Barbados

CUP, Political Party, Barbados

Are Barbadians Literate Zombies? Or, Will they Boycott the Banks

Ricky Mohammed, 39, and his wife, Luenda Anthony, were shot while sleeping in bed.

Legal Rape: Child Brides in Trinidad (12 y/o)

FOUND dead in Negril

DEAD in Negril: Richard David, Romaine Miller, David Bennett

DEAD in Negril: Richard David, Romaine Miller, David Bennett

BAJAN man bites off head of live chicken and eat it, feathers and all….

Billionaires always around trying to lend Barbados money! Andrew Stewart

Andrew Stewart always trying to lend Barbados money

AIDS: Man with list of names of women he had relations with, while he knows he has AIDS

Allen Chastanet, St. Lucia is BROKE

RAPING of children, see blog

RAPING of caribbean children….see blog

Four Year Old Assaulted by teacher at Charles F. Broome

Bulling; Rite of Passage at Combermere School

Open Letter to Barbadian Women

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Terry-stowe-aka-miss-campbell-always-picking-fares-and-dishonest

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: paul-puckering-adam4adam-gay

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Dale Eastmond, Closeted gay

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: errol-crichlow-adam4adam-gay-his-wife-came-home-and-caught-n-bed-with-a-man

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: carl-sealy-adam4adam-big-fat-sore-gay-and-always-brek

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: lennox-robinson-big-fat-battleship-broke-winfield-walked-heart-and-bank-account

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: douglas-haynes-from-cherry-grove-likes-nuff-young-boys-school-boys-and-does-pay-them-for-sex

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: irwin-marshall-that-works-up-by-airport-has-a-huge-wood-and-the-young-ladies-like-lamar-callender-does-run-him-down-for-it

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: paul-harris-adam4adam-closet-gay

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: greg-adam4adam-vodakila

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: gregory-hope-a-former-private-school-teacher-was-fired-because-he-was-molesting-the-boys-at-industry-high-school-n-st-phillip-now-n-town-trying-to-foop-every-young-boy-he-meet-with-sweet

Henderson Ricardo Seale needs marijuana to ease the pain

SAVAGES!! Jamaican police Urging Gun-Battling Savages to Surrender Peacefully

Rasta Travelled to Fort Lauderdale with Crocus Bag

Sheri Shermeyer married her enemy, a demon! It ended with murder/suicide

Sheri Shermeyer married her enemy, a demon! It ended with murder/suicide

Denis O’Brien: DIGICEL in billions of dollars in debt

Digicel: No Payday at DIGICEL

Addison St. John defends his ‘BANK SCAM’ wife, Kimberly Taylor

Geralyn Edward, NATION SCANDAL

PINK PANTIES, husband came home in …..

Alexis Manigo and father Charles Manigo. Alexis states that he was a poor father

ONE EYEBROW girl

Peter Virdee, Held in London for Germany re Fraud Scheme in Barbuda

Victor Callender

Dennis z1545

CLICO: Chris Sinckler and Leroy Parris are FRIENDS

CLICO: Leroy Parris and David Thompson (deceased)

CLICO: Chris Sinckler and Leroy Parris are FRIENDS

Justin Taylor disses his ‘BANK SCAM’ Sister, Kim Taylor

Justin Taylor dissing Kim Taylor

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Michael Rowe

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Junior Thomas aka Crow

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Shirley Lovell

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Sean Alleyne

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Terry Small

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Lamar Callender

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Greg aka Biforsure

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Winston Ramses

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Ronald Thompson

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Steve Alleyne

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Delisle Trotman

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Rohan Phillips

ADAM4ADAM BARBADOS UNDERCOVER: Michael Rowe

DEAD!! Eddie Long

Colin Jordan

Bank Scam girl

Bank Scam girl

Bank Scam Girl

Sandra Husbands

KIMBERLY TAYLOR: Bank Scam? Where? When?

DEAD!!! Larry Jackson

Barbadian Men have highest rate of Prostate Cancer in the World

Obstructed Watercourse

Obstructed Watercourse

Obstructed Watercourse

Grenville Phillips, II — Solutions Barbados

Toni Yarde, Nation scandal

Rachael Ramkissoon raped and killed after missing school bus

Keisha Clarke, Michael Carrington and super predator Mark B.A. Thompson

THE LIST: SUPERPREDATOR!! Mark B.A. Thompson

THE LIST: Criminal connections

Michael Carrington – THIEF of the House in Parliamant, stole almost $225,000 from his elderly client

THE LIST: Randall Worrell

Roy Morris, Nation Publication scandal!!

RACISM!!! Barry and Barbara Dueck, too WHITE for Dodds

RACISM!!! Barry and Barbara Dueck, TOO WHITE FOR DODDS

Donville Inniss, Drunk

Deliar Worrell

Mia Mottley

THE LIST: Denis Lowe may carry virus

Peter Harris gave Owen Arthur $100,000 and then stopped the check

Last Week in Photos BARBADOS/THE WORLD (Naked Departure) -- LAST WEEK IN PHOTOS as they appeared on Naked Departure and dealing with the world.  Naked Departure

[kim-ruzek]

First, Burzek engaged, yay!

Let me say that this is in no way a trolling question, I genuinely want to know your answer, do you think Adam should have gotten a different ring for the proposal?

I like that the ring has withstand all their ups and downs but it also reminds me of all the heartbreak they went through. I'd hope that they could have got a new ring to signify new beginnings.

I ADORE the fact that it's the same ring. I have headcanoned for literal years that Adam kept the ring, and that when they get engaged again that they'll use that ring and I'm extremely happy that he used the same ring.

I just think it's really sweet and I love what it symbolises. Kim handed it back because Adam wasn't really ready to marry her - she gets it back and accepts it back because they FINALLY are, both of them. It's also her ring. Adam went out, he looked at rings and he found the one that, to him, said Kim and any other ring would just be the second ring. And also I don't think any ring would feel as perfect to Adam than the one he originally picked.

And the reason I love it the most - it's uniting their past with their present and future. As they said, they've fought for their life, has literally bled for it. They've had each other, they've lost each other, they've hated and loved and struggled. And now they're here, partners, family, knowing where they stand and knowing just how hard they fought to get there.

A new ring to symbolise new beginnings, imo, would feel very unlike them and for them, I think it would be like brushing over their past, shutting the door on it. Whereas they're embracing it; they're looking at what they've been through, and they're acknowledging that it all lead to here and now.

It's also healing. They've climbed, clawed and fought their way to be back at the point where they can be engaged again, and the ending of the last engagement hurt them both so much so having that ring back on Kim's finger and knowing they've finally made it is super healing and is a visual reminder that everything they went through was worth it.

Also they're not having a new beginning, imo, and also I think in their minds. It's not a fresh start. They didn't wipe the slate and restart afresh. They built this on the foundation of their past, the good and the bad. It's a circle, really. Everything they've been through since Kim handed that ring back has just been the path back to her getting it back.

And then of course it's just so fucking cute that Adam's kept it over all these years and what that symbolises. That she's always been his girl. That, as he promised her, he will ALWAYS keep fighting for them, because a part of him has never given up hope that one day it'll be back on her hand - as shown by him keeping it. It's a visual symbol that Adam has never stopped loving her.

I also just really love the thought that he's spent the last like seven years paying insurance on that ring. Not even (just) for the chance that maybe one day she'll take it back, but because AS I'VE ALWAYS SAID giving up that ring would be giving up on them in his mind, and Adam's never going to do that.

Plus, there's never been a time I think Adam's got to where he could think about giving it up. First he'd keep it because surely Kim will come back, then it's just too painful to acknowledge the implications of him giving it up, and then they were kinda working things out. Then Al died and he just pushed it out of his mind because he tried to seal a line under them. And then Kim got pregnant, and they've been in this weird limbo of being family and partners and they've fought but then Kim made him Mack's guardian and she was shot and they were living together until finally... they are together.

Thank you for asking!! I have thought about this A LOT over the last few years and I do so love meta talking about Burzek.

[fighterkimburgess]

From Patrol to Family (AKA the relationship between Hank Voight and Kim Burgess)

So yeah, I'm back in my Hank Voight's relationships with his unit feels. Here's the first one of those metas I've been talking about, with the relationship between Voight and Kim.

I think the first thing that hits you about their relationship is that Kim wants Intelligence. She wants to be in the unit. She wants that job. And she makes it pretty clear from the get go. There's no way Voight doesn't know of her, know that she wants it. She and Kevin end up being the go to patrol officers to help Intelligence out. And while Kev's definitely interested, he doesn't seem to have the full drive to want Intelligence as much as Kim does.

But then she gets told, very specifically, that whatever's going on between her and Adam is the reason she doesn't get Intelligence. That Voight doesn't trust inter unit relationships, so she doesn't get to come up. Even when she's earned it, even when technically there's nothing between her and Adam at that moment. And this leads to one of the three turning points in their early relationship - Kim moving on after not getting Intelligence.

I am fully convinced that when Trudy was told Kevin Atwater was moving to Intelligence she reamed Voight out for not promoting Kim. It's clear other people thought Kim should have gotten the job (Al even said it Kev's first day!), but that's how Voight made his decision. But Kim didn't break. She didn't falter. She went straight back to work doing her job because if Hank Voight was going to think she would crumble because of that, he was wrong. And she pushed through, dealing with shitty temporary partners (and an even shittier permanent one but lets ignore Roman for this), because that's what she does. And I think she built a bit of respect from Voight for that, because she just went back to proving what she can do as a cop.

It's also a big part of the reason she and Adam hide their relationship for so long. Kim's been told that if she and Adam are together she can't have her dream job. So they sneak around and hide it (badly), because Adam recognises how important this is to Kim. And then she gets shot.

I've always wondered - when did Adam tell Voight about their relationship? They arrived at the scene together, did he tell Voight in the car? That he and Kim had been...what did he say? Sleeping together? Seeing each other? Dating? She's the love of his life? It's pretty obvious from Adam's reaction to Kim on the gurney, and Voight’s non reaction to Adam, that he's been told, even if he already had his suspicions.

But this leads to number two on the turning points. Voight offers Kim Intelligence. He offers her not only Intelligence, but turning a blind eye to her relationship with Adam. And she turns him down. She says no. And I think that's the moment Voight realises just how much he's underestimated Kim Burgess.

I go on and on about the donut scene in the hospital, but it's for good reason. We've seen so many of that unit injured and end up in hospital, but Voight visits the patrol officer who he technically has no reason to talk to. And brings her donuts. Ones he knows she likes. Voight isn't a kind man. He's calculating and deliberate and he'll be nice to people, but he doesn't do things just to be kind. This is an actually kind act. He tells Kim she should be up there, and he wants her in the unit, but she turns him down.

I think he feels a bit of guilt at this point too. Remember, he told Kim about six months before in the show's timeline that she wasn't being brought up to Intelligence because of her relationship with Adam. If he hadn't stuck to his rule, she wouldn't have been shot. Someone else would have been partnered with Roman, and they would have been killed. It's only through sheer luck that Kim wasn't, because if she was any taller it would have been buckshot to the chest and she'd be dead. So he's feeling guilty because if he hadn't made an assumption then she probably wouldn't be in a hospital bed. He's never actually been shot, and to see this twenty-something cop who's been proving herself over and over be shot? It's a shock to the system.

But it's when she comes up to him after, when she's back at work and tells him she's not ready to give up Patrol that he realises what a good cop she is. She wants Intelligence, but she wants to be ready for Intelligence. She wants to have the best possible shot at it. And she knows that if she leaves Roman now, she's still going to be working through those feelings. Because Kim's too good a person to let Roman have to actually feel for his mistakes, so she decides that she's gonna be the bigger person. And it's that line, "my partner and I, we went through something with that shooting, and you know, I'm just...I'm not going to leave him until we can both put it behind us."

Kim's not just a cop. She's a cop's cop. She's the one who will stand up and listen and do her best and be there for the people she works with day in, and day out. And that's what I think makes Voight realise that she's the next person he's bringing into Intelligence when she's ready. Because he wants someone who isn't just loyal to Chicago and CPD, but loyal to the unit as well. He knows he'll have that in Kim when she's ready. And he's willing to wait.

There's also the deep, awful irony of Kim giving up her dream (temporarily) to make sure Sean's ok after SHE was shot, but then when he's shot and she goes through the trauma of nearly being prosecuted for her actions afterwards, he wants her to leave Chicago with him instead of staying to help her recover. But that's not the subject of this meta so I'm not going there (except to say FUCK SEAN ROMAN but ye all know me so is that really surprising?)

Even a few episodes later, when Kim and Roman are taken he jumps into action. Adam just says he has a bad feeling, nobody can find her or Roman, he wants to check their last known. And Voight immediately says they’re grabbing the whole team to do it. And you can see the pride clear on his face when Kim is a self rescuing princess and has stopped a smuggling ring basically singlehandedly.

But the third thing happens near the end of the season, when Kev's sent back to patrol after leaving the can there when the suspect attempts suicide with it. We know it was an accident, we know it was unintentional, but Voight sends him straight back down and brings Kim up. It's whiplash for Kim, everything she'd wanted a short while ago she now has, but knows it's temporary. And it teaches her two very important things. Number one, Intelligence is where she belongs. And number two, they still trust and believe in her even after she turned them down.

She knows it’s only temporary but she still does the job well, and she fights to prove she deserves to be there. And that’s when their relationship truly changes, because Voight recognises the asset she is, and how good she can be. Because she puts her all into every case, and while she’s disappointed about going back to patrol, she swallows her pride and she does the job. She’s proven herself, she’s proven she can do the work, and that keeps her happy for the moment.

We don’t really see much interaction between the two of them in s3, but the one episode we do see a lot in is Justice. Immediately he’s on Kim’s side, making sure her story’s straight and she’s memorised it. He knows she doesn’t need it, but he knows that right now she’s stressed, she’s worried about her partner and she needs something to do. And even when Peter Stone is assigned as the ASA - and Hank could send Antonio or Al down to deal with him - he doesn’t. This is the man who sent Hank Voight to jail. A man who Voight barely hides his dislike and disdain for. But when it comes to Kim Burgess, he goes and deals with the man who sent him to prison. Then as soon as Stone asks what kind of cop Kim is, Hank’s response is exactly what he thinks of Kim. She’s “A plus”. He defends Kim, calling it a clean shoot. Because he knows the kind of person Kim is, and that she wouldn’t have shot unless she was absolutely certain.

And he does that the entire way through. He gets Kim out of the car, he keeps a hold of her through the crowd screaming at her. The most nerve-racking moment of her life, having to keep her head up and he makes sure she does that, with a hand on her arm escorting her through. He’s reminding her that he’s there, all of Intelligence is there, and they support her because they know who Kim is and know what she does. They know the kind of person she is. To paraphrase Adam, they know her heart. And he keeps digging to be able to make sure it’s clear the kind of person Kim is, and she’s completely vindicated.

And in s4, he brings her up. Antonio’s left CPD, moved to work with Stone, they’ve got a space open and he immediately chooses Kim. And she takes it. Immediately she’s being forced to prove herself - Adam’s gone, Rixton joins the unit and she’s proving herself. She saves Al when they’re in a pursuit. And when Adam comes back she just sticks to work, proving herself.

So when she’s worried about her sister, freaking out about Nicole, Voight immediately tells her to ping her phone and find Nicole. And he’s there helping her through the entire investigation, through Kim worrying and finding Nicole, and at the end when Kim asks to take furlough. And not even that, he goes after Goldwin and nearly killed him. Because he’s caused Kim’s family to be hurt, and that means Voight’s family has been hurt. He said it himself, “an attack on your family is an attack on our family”.

And then when Kim, the brand new member of the unit goes and tells him that she needs to take furlough to look after her sister, he tells her to take as long as she needs. He tells her to go, and look after Nicole, and be there for her. I can’t see him doing that with nearly anyone else? Like, he’s so distinctly looking out for her, making sure that she’s doing what’s right for her family. He keeps her place open for her, he makes sure she knows that she’s the kind of cop that they need in the unit and they’re there for her. She can leave to do what she needs to do, knowing that she’s got her place there.

That protectiveness over Kim is immediately visible in s5, from 5x01. When Kim is called “naive and beautiful” by Price, we know that Al told Voight. And we can see Voight’s behaviour towards Price when that happens. He’s protective over Kim even there. In 5x02 she goes off book to find out what really happened to Toma, despite Voight’s explicit warnings not to. She doesn’t get yelled at, and then she solves the case. Voight gives her so much leeway, so much more than he’s given anyone else. Even Hailey, who’s a detective, he’s got on a shorter leash. And Voight helps Kim clear Toma’s name when she has the proof.

It continues, when they have the case that crosses over with with her boyfriend, Matt’s federal case. Kim reveals case information to Matt. She actually tells Matt about their case. But Voight…just lets it go. He’s not happy, but he does. He uses Kim to get the meeting, and then he tells Kim what she needs to do. She may not have been happy about lying to him, hated herself for doing it, but she lied to Matt and got the information they needed to solve their case. But she was ready for it, and she did it. Even with her reservations, even with wanting to keep her relationship, even with her admitted issues with it to Adam, she did it because she’s loyal to the team. She’s loyal to Voight. She realises that the team is her family and the case is what matters to her.

This pattern continues. He finds out she lied to IRT. Lied about having a child in her car when they were involved in a firefight. That’s a demotion offence. But he doesn’t. He warns her, he tells her he will bury her if he finds out she does anything to jeopardise their cases again, but that’s it. She faces basically no consequences for what she’s done, because it gets cleared up. Can we ever see Voight treat anyone in that way?

In 6x14 when she and Hailey are abducted, Voight is clearly worried. He always refers to them as “Kim and Hailey”, never the other way round. Is it because he’s used to doing it, or because Kim is on his mind more? His speech at the end about how they all go home, it’s clear because that’s how they need to live their lives and their work, and leave their home lives at home.

But yet, just five episodes later he brings her personal life into work. They don’t need to take on William’s case, it should have gone to Robbery Homicide. But because it was someone involved in the unit Hank made sure they took it. He had a suspect, he had a stone cold conviction. But because Kim asked him not to, he gave her 48 hours to see what they could find. He blocks a potential conviction so Kim can dig in, because he trusts her judgment and he trusts who she is as a cop. He believes in her. He doesn’t do that easily, and there’s very few on the team he would do that with. Maybe Antonio? Maybe Jay? But it’s not something he offers widely. But he trusts Kim, follows her judgment, and ends up arresting the right person for it.

This trusting her and following her judgment continues when she tells him about her pregnancy. We don’t get the story, we don’t get the dialogue. But we get to see his face as it pans across, going from surprise to a smile, to a genuine grin. He wraps his arms around her, pulling her close and you can see from Kim’s body language she didn’t expect that response. She takes a couple of seconds to relax into it, but she hugs him back. He’s genuinely delighted for her and Adam and makes sure she knows her job will be there for her when she’s back.

She’s on light duty, answering 911 calls, but goes to do a followup because she knows something isn’t right. And he approves, even though technically she shouldn’t have been anywhere near the scene. He keeps her on the case, making sure she’s riding the desk but he keeps her back in Intelligence to work it because it’s her instincts. And after she loses the pregnancy we see the looks he gives her, the way he checks in subtly with her.

But it’s in s8 where the parental relationship they have really comes through. From when she takes in Makayla he’s checking in on her, and it’s clear in Trouble Dolls that she’s talked to him more than once about parenting. The way he gives her that look of “are you ok” when she comes back from Makayla’s school.

But it’s 8x16 where it’s so clear. His immediate response to her going missing is to try calm Adam down, and come up with reasonable solutions. There isn’t enough blood for a major injury, and they’d have left her body there if she’d died. But his face when he realises that’s Kim in the back of the car on the POD footage? That’s a man who’s terrified for his pseudo daughter. Who just wants to make sure she’s ok.

And that leads into his behaviour the entire time. He goes off book almost immediately. The Voight of most of s8 would never have let Adam hold a gun to anyone, let alone their head. But this is Kim who’s missing, she’s part of his family and the rules fly out the window. And his protectiveness shows for the entire episode for the rest of the team. He’s sending Adam and Hailey on the easy calls, going off book himself to find Walton.

But even when he finds him, he’s still somewhat restrained. He beats him, but not badly. Not until Walton mentions Makayla. The second he says “or her daughter”, Voight’s entire demeanour changes. He turns from the man who wants to find his officer, his daughter, to the man who knows that if Walton walks away the woman he considers his daughter will be in danger, but worse than that, Kim’s daughter will be in danger. Hank’s lost two children, remember. He lost a stillborn daughter when Justin was born, and he lost Justin. He’s technically lost three if you count Erin having to leave Chicago.

Hank Voight is a man who’s lost everything. His wife, his children, his best friend, access to his grandson. But he knows the worst pain he’s ever felt was losing a child. And once he gets Kim back - he will never accept that Kim won’t return safely - he won’t ever let her have the risk of losing her daughter. She won’t have to feel the same pain he did. He won’t let the woman he loves like a daughter lose her child. He can’t do that.

And that relief on his face when it comes over the radio that Kim’s alive? She’s alive and they have her and she’s safe. And that lasts for all of a few seconds until Jay comes over the radio with “she’s been bleeding the whole time”. She’s been bleeding, she’s nearly died, and that’s the thing that gets him. He was never going to let Walton walk away, but that’s the moment that he decides no matter what he’s going to kill him.

I’m not going to go into manipulating Hailey to shoot Walton, I’ve done a full meta about that already and this is about Voight and Kim. But the last thing Voight does in the season is burn Walton’s body. It’s partly as a forensic countermeasure - he never wants to risk what happened to Al happening to anyone else - and partly to make sure Kim is safe. He’s dead, he’s gone, nobody in Walton’s trafficking ring will be able to track it back to Kim and Intelligence.

It’s not clear from the start of the show, but by the last couple of seasons it’s so obvious, Hank Voight loves Kim Burgess as a daughter. He cares about her as a woman, as a cop, as a person. He tries to keep that core of Kim that’s good and sweet and has a pure heart there, even when in their job they see the worst of the world.

And I think from Kim’s perspective, she’s starting to feel that way. She wasn’t originally. She was not exactly scared of him, but she knew his reputation, knew what he was capable of. But over the seasons, as she’s gotten to not only know him as a cop but as her Sarge, as she’s learned from him and learned how to make her decisions, I think those feelings have come for her too. It’s not as deep as Hank’s - Kim does have a family still, she has Nicole and Zoe, Makayla and Adam - but they’re there.

I think I find them so interesting because there’s this weird dichotomy between them. It’s super clear before Kim started working for Hank he cared about her as a person not just a cop. And Kim didn’t feel the same way about him, he went from being the guy who wouldn’t hire her, to her boyfriend/fiance/ex-fiance’s boss, to the guy who did hire her. She’s a few seasons behind on how that relationship is. But it’s one I really look forward to seeing grow. Will Kim ever find out the lengths Voight was willing to go to find her? Will she realise just how much she means to him? Who can say except the writers. But I’m so excited to see where it goes from here.

[kim-ruzek]

Review of 11x3

Yes, I am finally doing a review, and it's for the third episode of the season rip to the first two I guess? Also it has taken me all week to write this out despite having notes on it and having it half done ages ago.

First, I'll talk about the Burzek of all it because I'm nothing if not on brand:

I adore their house so much, it's so them.

Their routine 'dance' is so cute. "Stop we're in this together" oh my heart they've grown so much I love it

Burzek texting is so, so cute.

When Adam and Kim was standing so close and cute I nearly died, they're actual cutie pies.

I so so enjoyed and loved Adam looking after Kim. It's such married behaviour. Him trying to encourage her to take a break. And when Adam touched Kim's back oh my heart!

Adam having buddies everywhere helping, I love it so much.

Starting the episode in the kitchen and ending it in it is so good.

When she left through that way she went from mom and family and wife kim to cop kim, and coming back through, after having a rough couple of days, she's once again allowing herself to stop being cop kim and just be in her comfortable family home.

Notable moment being the lunchbox and then her smile at her sleeping family. Adam's smile, Kim telling him to sleep, Adam wanting to hear everything. Adam picking up Mack. All of that.

Now for my general comments on the whole thing:

I love Kim being a spanish speaker. I love hearing her speak it, her voice sounds so so good.

I also liked that Kim did not like the desk sargent's attitude.

I enjoyed the foreshadowing on the green card.

Alvarado going to the toilet right before the shooting happens - something very convenient that I didn't realise at the time.

I loved that Kim immediately clocked the car, then the gun.

I also loved how empathetic Kim was this whole episode.

I do wonder if they're grooming Kim to be the 'main detective' esque character after Hailey leaves.

Kim running point, I love it. She's such a good detective, she deserves to actually be one. She leads the team truly like a true leader. Even clocking when Alvarado is looking up on the computer. And then again talking him down.

Alvarado's frustration - even more clear with that he so wanted him to be the fall guy. He really tried to cover his tracks. If it wasn't for Kim's instincts honestly he would've gotten away with it.

The search for Gabriela is so anxiety inducing, especially when Alvarado shows up.

Talking of which, I love how names are used in this. He is 'Danny' when they see him as one of them, Alvarado when they know he was the perpetrator and I really liked that.

I loved Kim's reaction to the tourniquet being applied wrong, Kim's face at that. The way she said "it wasn't a bystander".

Kim is such a badass. She really has got such confidence, especially in the face of injustice. "You seem to think that would bother me". I loved that line.

I also really love learning about Kim's past.

RE: Kim getting the fake papers, I love how determined to a point of craziness Kim gets, especially on cases she runs/hits close to home.

Sort of off topic but Kim is so pretty <3

Also I loved my protective Kev, the burgwater friendship is so dear to me.

I have to give a special mention to Voight because of this scene: "You been home? You been asleep?" I don't like voight too much, but this season he has really been shining through honestly. That alongside the team knows they can trust Voight, as their Sarge, to bring up their concerns. Also how he checked with her about Alvardo in the first place, he trusts his unit's judgement.

The confrontation scene is one of my favourites. Kim clocking the gun. How she stands. How she lets him talk all while knowing that she's going to arrest him.

And when he tries to turn the table onto her. But when she talks about the diner footage, I love it. Her expression, calm and collected. The way he truly thought she'd let him take the easy way out. "If you make me work for it".

Overall, I really loved this episode. I found it really cohesive and Kim properly shined in it. I still have an issue with the character centricness of these episodes, especially as it's gotten worse again from last season, but Kim definitely did shine.

I do have two issues: although I liked the episode, and the story itself is pretty powerful, it is definitely a Choice to have the latino man be the bad guy. It's a story that needs to be told, but I don't know if this is the place for it when this will be the only immigrant storyline told? Like if they did more on the topic, okay, fine, but yeah, as just the only thing? Not great.

Also the second issue being I would've really loved to see Torres in this episode, and see him and Kim work together or talk about this. And it's just reminded me I really want to see Kim and Torres working together in general, and we should've gotten him in this episode.

Notable Quotes:

"rising tides"

"It's vintage like you"

"THIRD TIME'S A CHARM" - both times

"Got an eye for it"

"i know one [a cop family]"

"nothing" just because i love how Kim says this.

"Kim, you're kinda a walking miracle"

"Adam I used my own money, OUR own money"

"Some cases you'll do whatever you can"

"We bled for it, Kim".

"That feel good?" "Perfect"

[kim-ruzek]

So now that Burzek is engaged again (YAY!!!), what would you want Kim’s dress to look like? I feel like early days Kim would have gone for something princessy but present day Kim maybe something more sleek and modern? I can’t decide!

OH hi thank you for this ask, this is something I have a LOT of thoughts on !!!!

I don't have a definite answer necessarily because I've kind of got a split mind about this, mostly because Kim's styles are so interesting and varied and also because there's a lot of styles that I could see Kim wearing. Although nothing with too long of a trail, I think, and I believe this of both early day and present day Kim.

I do agree that early days Kim compared to present day might've chosen something a little bit...just more. More intricate lace detail - not to say present day Kim wouldn't have lace (because I can see that) but just more. But also at the same time, I don't know because early days Kim was also less confident whereas present day Kim knows what she likes and wants so I feel like Kim would, if she wants, go all out. She's marrying the love of her life after a long journey.

But this is why I'm so split because I, too, see her going for something more sleek because I feel like it reflects her maturity but also I feel like she wouldn't limit herself, so if she's always dreamed of a princessy dress, that is what she's getting.

NOW to get into specifics! This is going to be quite varied, because again, I see a lot of styles. I'm just gonna put some photos I found which, especially combined, kinda sums up the two main different styles that I picture:

The first lot is what I imagine for a more simpler style. The second lot is the more princessy type ones. The third is for the sleeves, if she has them (although I can see it going either or, like apparently with most things). And the fourth one is for if she has back or the front (as marina does look good in those kinds of dresses) cuts!

I feel like this wasn't a very good answer, especially depending everything that exists in my brain, but I hope you enjoyed it, and can understand what I was trying to convey!!

Thank you SO much for asking!! :)

[kim-ruzek]

Any headcanons about your fave characters and ships you want to share? 🙂🙂

Why is it ALWAYS the way that whenever I get asked this, I seem to immediately forget all my headcanons? I love talking about my headcanons and I always want to have the opportunity to share them, but each and every time my mind panics and forgets them.

I've thought this over for a couple days and been casually writing up my answer but I don't think I'm going to remember much else that I've already written, or that I don't want to share because I hate feeling like people are Judging me (those headcanons are for Cíara's ears only apparently lol).

I've spent an awful amount of time thinking about Kim, so all of these will be around her. And some of these are ones that are shared/developed with Cíara.

Because I've always got a soft spot for lingess' friendship: Erin and Kim are still friends, and still keep in touch. If they ever see each other in person, it has to be Kim visiting her in New York, which she has, albeit not very much due to both of their works. Kim hasn't managed to go to see her since at least 2019, though. I have more headcanons about this but I'll keep it just as this.

I've talked about this one before and to my ire canon keeps trying to make this seem less and less likely for me to pretend is canon lol - Sylvie and Kim are close friends. They try to have a girls night and they originally bonded over having failed engagements. As an extension of this, which is one that came from Cíara, girls' night usually consists of Sylvie, Kim and Severide.

Zoe, Kim's niece, was born when Kim was 17. As per canon, Kim was kind of a nightmare as a teen, so I headcanon that Zoe's birth is what grounded her more, because Zoe deserved an aunt.

These ones changes occasionally depending how I feel and what works best for my fic usually, but Kim graduated at 17, not 18 and/or for a year or so, she primarily actually lived with her sister and her husband because she didn't want to be at home. Her BIL was never much a fan of this.

Kim knew she wanted to be a cop from when she was at least in her teens, but she then got some doubts when she was waiting to be of the age requirement - and she had always loved flying and being a flight attendant, she really fell in love with it. She had applied for the academy but while she was waiting to get in, she had doubts about whether or not she'll actually do it. Then one day at work, there was trouble and she helped in taking down the troublemaker and the rush she got convinced her being a cop was her calling.

Some of her pilot friends were sort of disappointed at this because they were trying to convince her to become a pilot/go back to uni and do something in aviation.

Her flight attendant friends never really understood why she wanted to be a cop, and especially after the (first) shooting, they drifted apart because they just weren't the same people.

Kim and her mom no longer talk, and while their relationship had always been rocky, Kim stopped putting in the effort after the engagement fell apart because even though Adam didn't meet her, Kim couldn't get over that her mom only being in town one night made the situation that much worse. Her mother's opinions on the failed engagement, then especially when she made intelligence sealed that.

Kim hates being beholden to her family's money so she, since getting into adulthood, has steadfastly refused to accept any and all money from them.

She had cousins in another state who while didn't have as much money as Kim's side did, had loving parents and Kim growing up was always very envious.

Kim hates talking about her past, even with Adam. As a result, especially now she's more open with him, they'll be little, relatively minor, bits of information that she forgets she never told Adam and some of these will be things she has told Kev and she'll bring these information up around Adam only to learn, no he didn't know that. Kev finds it amusing.

Kim paints.

Kim dreads the day Mack will one day ask about Kim's own parents, especially her father who, after her parents' divorce, none of Kim's family speak to.

Trudy and Kim has bonded together over trashy romance novels and will routinely recommend each other ones. This started after the first engagement fell through.

Kim still keeps somewhat in touch with Meredith and Michelle.

Adam's sister doesn't like Kim, and never has. His mom feels similarly but less confrontational.

Kim feels similar towards them, although she is always a little sad because growing up, she dreamt that one day she'll get the family she wanted in the form of her in-laws.

I think that's all I have for now, but I hope you enjoyed reading them. I have a lot more when they came from!

Thank you for asking! :)

[kim-ruzek]

Review of 10x14

I'm going to begin this with saying, before getting into the specifics, how much I loved this episode. You could tell how much effort was put into making this, and how much Marina busted her ass to provide us with such an amazing portrayal. And that's the kind of effort and energy that got us to 200 episodes and also, like all the episodes this season, the new energy and determination to tell and follow through with an amazing story that Gwen has brought back to the show. And that it truly showed and supported everything I had been saying for why I stood by their decision to make 200 about Kim (and her 200 traumas).

Now to proceed with the specifics and this is going to get long because there was SO MUCH I loved about it:

The opening scene.

This, for me, really set the whole tone for the episode. I love domestic burzek + mack and this served that up for me. I also loved it because of the formula of the show, we haven't got to see much of them settling into the house as a family, but that this showcased that, and the well oiled machine that they've clearly grown to be. It very much painted the picture of two parents and their child. I very much liked Mack watching the TV, and Kim refocusing her, that was very domestic and made everything feel really real and that this dynamic is well lived in, which it should.

Cpd episodes as a whole tend to kick of amazingly, but really for a milestone episode I always believe that it should kick off from the start, because every second you should feel gripped to the screen. And this delivered. I've got to attribute that to Marina's excellent acting, because the way she reacted and delivered that panic attack, especially with Kim being thrown into a flashback was truly phenomenal. And I loved how Adam handled it, while also handling Mack and making sure that she could see that at the very least, Adam has a handle on the situation which will make her feel more secure despite there being something wrong with her mom.

The therapy scenes.

I'm going to talk about both of them here. I loved how Marina held herself in these scenes, it felt so very believable and exactly in line with everything Kim is experiencing. I loved that Kim didn't fight back on Adam being called her partner, especially because I was concerned that we'd be still stuck on them not voicing what's between them. I mean, they still aren't, but Kim isn't actively trying to clarify he's technically not that, officially. And it very much feels like they are embracing this dynamic, and honestly they don't have to name it, at least not where they are currently.

I also loved that you could see that her walls were up, and that she is only here because of freaking out in front of Makayla and that she's not ready to accept help yet, and that they even more went up and she got on the defensive when her therapist was listing symptoms she has been experiencing. Kim's walls are so high up, and she's been going around thinking she's fine and that she's dealing with her trauma, and she doesn't want to admit just how much she's not been fine, especially when she hasn't really admitted it to herself.

I loved, loved, loved the ending therapy scene. I've already talked about how much I love that she said "not for Adam", that he's someone she wants to get help for, but it's worth resaying. That, on it's own, is more she's been admitting over the past few years, and it also gives me faith/hope in the direction the writers are taking them in. I also loved seeing her breakdown, and admit she needs help. It's long overdue and everything I've been wanting for my whole time in fandom. And I'm just really happy with this development and how realistic it was.

The manifestation of Kim's trauma/ptsd.

I've touched upon this already, but there's so much more to say. The portrayal and how they chose to show it, and Marina act it, was truly incredible. Not just the big moments, but all the small, little moments too.

I've talked about the opening scene, and her walls in therapy. Now for the train. This scene... Honestly there was so much to love about this whole episode, and the well scene was amazing, but I've got to say that scene was one of my favourite scenes ever. The way you could see Kim's trauma being triggered, how she portrayed how scared she was, that she was making herself small, and also how she struggled to keep a grip on reality to try and help the poor boy, and how she lost that grip when it was becoming more and more clear that he was heading to death -- and how it coincided with everyone leaving the train, leaving them alone, which didn't help to not play into Kim's trauma of dying alone.

I loved that her hand shook again, and then the scene when she was lying down and reliving her own trauma. It was truly amazing and great shooting work as well. All the blood, and the white shirt. I also loved how close she was to him, not just because she was helping him, but because she was clearly scared in that moment and being nearer someone else, even a dying stranger, was what her instincts did. I also really loved how in the midst of this she was trying to hard to keep her hand on his wound.

Now the well scene. First, hopefully Kim will learn to stop going into places alone without backup. Second, the shooting for this was equally wonderful. Her vision, the way she kept trying to refocus on Lucas, the way her body was pressed against the wall and the fact she was once again trapped somewhere dark. It was also the first panic episode this episode where she didn't have Adam to bring her out of it, and she had to struggle to try and regain focus into reality to help the boy. Her desperately trying to reach the team was lovely as it showed both how hard it was physically and signal wise, and also her will to survive, while also showcasing her vulnerability when she left the missed voicemail.

I also really loved the imagery of once again her determined attempts to survive, and her amazing ability to rescue herself, to put herself in a better place for help. That climbing very much parallels the journey she'll take with therapy, and also I think shows-- especially when she broke free and passed the threshold of the well-- when she got to the point where her mind was made up and that she was going to accept help. Which I think is really beautiful.

I also think it's really beautiful how she had to leave the boy behind to get a better signal, as it very much embodied the expression "put your safety mask on first", and yet again parallels the journey she'll have to take in therapy. She's been pushing herself aside for others, like Mack, but in order to keep doing that, to keep helping people, she has to lok after herself first, and trust in the help that comes from making that journey. And of course, by doing that, she got out, and Adam arrived to help the boy.

But that just because she got up that time doesn't mean she's okay, as shown by her immediately collapsing by the outside of the well.

Now to touch upon the other little ptsd effects throughout the episode. I loved how when catching the team up she got a bit distant, and in the train when the photos was taken. And I loved, like fully adored, how she was confident walking into the room until she saw herself on camera and then you could see herself retreat within herself. She almost looked ashamed, which is not uncommon, and when she answered her phone, her 'burgess' was so quiet and un-kim like and I loved that, it was so so realistic.

Kim, Adam, Burzek.

Adam throughout this was truly Kim's rock and I utterly adored it. I loved how her comforted her, grounded her. The moment in the train specifically as if was so so reminding me of their early days of comfort and how close their faces were in that casual intimacy you can only get with the love of your life in this situation. I also loved that scene after the therapy, Adam coming to pick her up and how he knew how to talk to her and what she was thinking when she looked at him and I just can see how much they've truly become partners.

The things the therapist said and how they fit how Kim's been.

I loved very much what she listed, because it fit Kim so well, and honestly really showed exactly why Kim and Adam hasn't officially gotten back together. It just really highlights that along the way it stopped being about whether he was ready, and all because of her ptsd. And I just loved that.

I also loved it because I had been getting nervous again. Mostly because it feels like Kim's episodes always includes Adam/burzek development, but Adam's this season, except 02, hasn't really. And it's made me feel a bit nervous because we aren't getting to see Kim being an important part of helping him. But by the therapist saying that, it's explaining what's going on in Kim's mind, showing that the writers are aware of that, and it makes me feel better about it. Because it's just that Kim's not in that place right now, not fully, but hopefully in the future that'll be different.

Other things I really loved about this episode:

Kim, Adam and Kevin being in a room together searching. I love my burzekwater.

The rest of the team's reaction to Kim being covered in blood. None of them, including Voight really, bought too much that Kim was "fine". And Kevin's expression when he walked up will always live in my brain rent free. That and Trudy's.

That Kim identified him through a scrap of luggage paper. I know there's other reasons to why she could've recognised it, but to me it'll be because of her past as flight attendant.

I'm sure there was over things I loved and wanted to talk about, but I've talked a lot and this has taken me, no joke, an hour to type up so I'm ending it here. Feel free to come talk to me and send me asks if you think I missed out something, or just want to talk about it/ask me questions.

It was truly an incredible episode and I feel so happy to be a part of this fandom when this is unveiling.

[kim-ruzek]

No but actually can we talk about Kim's lil smile here because LOOK at her!!! Nestled up against Adam with his arm around her on the steps of their (!) home she looks so happy, so content, so at peace and ohmygod I think I'm gonna die I love that for her (for them !)

[fighterkimburgess]

Chicago PD Season 9 Speaking Time

A couple of caveats for this - everything here was done by me. I manually timed, so the times may be out by a few seconds either side. However, over the course of it all I’d hope that everything evens out.

Find below my Chicago PD Speaking Time for Season 9A (9B coming soon!). I watched each episode, timing how long each of the main characters (Voight, Hailey, Jay, Kim, Adam, Kevin, and Trudy) spoke for. Below you’ll find the information for each of the episodes, and a 9A total breakdown. A couple of things I didn’t expect are below all of the timings.

My methodology was simple - have a stopwatch, hit start when a person began speaking, hit stop when they stopped. I was generally balancing two or three at a time, based on how PD episodes work. For episodes focusing on Voight, I did him and the first two main cast members he spoke to. When I finished them I went back and found the Trudy scene(s) and timed them. Then the other three people were done.

For a member of a ship (upstead or burzek) I timed the ship together along with Voight, and then went back to Trudy. On my second full pass I did the other three people (so the other ship and Kevin). For Kevin episodes my first pass was Kevin, Voight, and whatever member of burzek he spoke to first. Second go was upstead and the other member of burzek. I did these as fairly as possible, but with so many people talking about how unbalanced episodes are, I thought this would be an interesting look at it. I’m hoping to do 9B pretty soon, depending on my health and what people think of this. But now, onto the data!

A couple of takeaways I found interesting:

The only person who hasn’t had an episode with less than one minute speaking time is Voight.

Kim has the lowest (non-Trudy) amount of speaking time in total, but also in an episode (16 seconds in 9x01)

Just under half of Kevin’s 16 minutes comes from 9x05, with 8 minutes 11 seconds from that episode.

Adam comes in third with most speaking time, just more than a minute ahead of Hailey. His comes from having so much time in 9x06 (10 minutes 21 seconds, over two minutes higher than the second longest amount of speaking time.

Every man has an episode where they speak at least 40% of the time (Jay has two, 9x03 and 9x09), none of the women do. The closest is Hailey in 9x08 with 35% of speaking time (4 minutes 30 seconds), and Kim and Hailey both have 31% of the time in 9x02 and 9x04 respectively.

Trudy comes in dead last in speaking time with 3% of the total, 3 minutes and 35 seconds. However, in her most speaking episode (9x08), she speaks more than any combination of the two of Adam, Kevin, and Kim combined.

Kevin has the most under a minute of speaking time episodes (again outside of Trudy) with 4, Adam and Jay have 3, Kim (just about) and Hailey have two (Kim has an exactly one minute episode), Voight has none. Trudy has 8, including one episode where she doesn’t appear.