#killing them is not an option because ive grown attached

[gwensy]

five slugs of various sizes in my laundry room. family reunion ??

[the-s1lly-corner]

no because you dont understand.

adding a cut since i need to ramble, the stress is getting to me and i feel stupid for getting so worked up over a tree but yall i am so genuinely invested in leopold

the only thing i have reassuring me that maybe maybe its not cankers is that the weird scattered about spots on his leaves dont have the yellow ring/halo around them. and that they dont look "corky"

they vaguely look like weird splotches he got a few months ago- except these ones are more perfectly rounded and smaller. and a lot more abundant that the ones he had last time. the last time it was only on a few leaves. this time its on more than a handful. a lot of the holes you can see on the top and bottom of the leave, not truly a hole but it is see through

this isnt the best photo but you get the gist. i dont know what this is, and ive been too exhausted to be able to keep track of smaller details, i cant tell if theres more forming but i get the feeling they are

i thought that maybe it was too hot out for him, it was 106 today so ive moved him inside and kept him by a window but again i cant tell if theres more spots forming or if im just imagining it out of stress. what if this is cankers, just very early stages, and we really do have the kill leopold? i know ive only have him since april but ive grown so so attached to him. hes the first thing that ive ever had that was mine that i had to take care of, and i got so attached. i know its dumb to say that about a plant. if it were an animal itd be more understandable i think. im going to keep looking into what it could be because if i can fix it or at least maintain it i want to be able to

i genuinely hope that this is nothing to worry about and im just making myself look like an overthinking fool in front of everyone because i would truly take that over the possibility that hes dying

on the brighter side he does have 2 new branches coming in, they both started sprouting after i had to move him inside.. theyre growing in a lot slower than they wouldve if they were still getting enough sunlight (limited window options in this house). a few of the new leaves that are still kinda... light and rubbery feeling... have some dark spots... worried about that too... but the younger growth is looking healthy so far even if the leaves arent open yet

if it turns out Leopold has cankers I'm actually going to cry because that's a death sentence for him/srs

[streetlight11]

Dystopia pt 8 (FINALE)

Summary: You were an Amity born. You were taught to value kindness and harmony. But you also valued bravery and knowledge. After the test to see which faction best suited you, you were given the choice to either stay in your faction or leave. When you chose to leave your faction for another, your whole life changed and you wondered if it was the right decision. You pondered over it at first, all until you met him.

Theme: Divergent au, strangers to lovers

Genre: mild action [I tried], angst, fluff, slowburn

Warnings: mentions of blood and violence

WC: 3.6k

Pairing: Trainer!Jungkook x Initiate!FemReader

Tips: In this whole series, Y/N is a few years younger than JK. Those who were initiates like Y/N that just ended the Choosing Ceremony, are all the same age. None of these characters portray who the mentioned people are in real life whatsoever! It's just a fictional character!

a/n: Hello! Guess what? You made it to the end! I know this is a short series but I'm more than thankful if you have made it this far. Although it's quite short for a finale, I hope I didn't disappoint you too much! But anyways, here's the final part for this series :) Enjoyyy

~~~

With hurried steps, all three of them quickly hollered their way through the facility in hopes that they would reach the dorms in time. Jungkook’s heart was beating so fast against his chest, unsure if he could even calm himself down knowing something bad had happened to you. That was the last thing he wanted. From the day he saw you a few weeks back, he knew he would like you.

He knew there was something about you that leaves him being all clammy and nervous despite his amazing skill at hiding his emotions. Jungkook never knew he would manage to get close to you, thinking it was impossible considering he was a trainer and you were an initiate.

However, it looks like fate has a different plan for you and him when he saw you training by yourself in the middle of the night. That was when he first got to have a close interaction with you.

Even though it was just him teaching you basic tips on how to improve your skills for each of the different skill sets, he still got to talk to you and also earn your trust after a while. And as the days gradually went by, it was needless to say that Jungkook had grown so fond of you and even had a crush on you.

Yes, a Dauntless Trainer having a crush on a Dauntless Initiate.

How cute.

Ultimately, it all goes downhill for him as he finally arrives at the shared dormitory, only to find the rest of the initiates crowding around at one spot. The minute Jungkook and Changkyun pushed through the crowd, their hearts stopped for a millisecond upon seeing what the fuss was about.

There you were, cradled in Hyunjae’s arms as Gahyeon was crying with her hands desperately pressing what looks to be a completely blood soaked towel against your throat.

Your throat has been slit, not too deep to kill you but just enough to render you voiceless.

You were just turning around on your bed when you peeked your eyes open out of instinct, feeling as though you were being watched. Except, you weren’t expecting for it to be legit. Because the minute you opened your eyes, there was a hooded figure looming over you with a hand raised to their head level with what looks to be a knife from the Training Room.

Fuck!

Before your mind could react, your body seemed to move faster as your arms swiveled to a cross position over your face right when the person launched his attack to your head.

With the tip of its blade just barely missing your right eye socket.

You used all your energy to shove their hand away using your arms, only to kick their stomach harshly. They stumbled back a little before lunging back at you. However, you quickly rolled out of bed to your left, falling to the ground with a soft thud just as they plunged the blade into the mattress right where your chest would’ve been.

You rushed to your feet, making a break for it to the open toilet but your steps faltered when you felt a sharp stab to your calf.

“Ah! Fuck!” You loudly hissed to yourself.

The blade got pulled out of your leg harshly, only for you to flip around on the ground.

The person kneeled over you as they tried to stab you in the face again but you managed to grab their wrist with both hands. They were strong. A little too strong if you say so yourself. However, for some reason, you felt like you knew this person.

You were struggling. You were struggling hard to push their hand away. Mustering whatever strength you had left, you used all your power to push them back.

For a moment, you were glad that they nearly fell off you.

However, you weren’t mentally and physically ready for what he was about to do next. And that was for him to make one swift swing of his arm. It all happened so fast, you didn’t even realize what he did until you felt something wet trickle down your neck. You tried to curse at them but instead you were shocked when nothing came out of your mouth.

That wasn’t until one of your hands reached up for your throat and you felt it.

The open slit, the feeling of wet liquid, your nostrils filling with the strong smell of copper, and finally, bringing your fingers up to see your fingers coated in your own red crimson blood.

Your mouth hung agape as you tried to speak but there was nothing. Tears welled up in your eyes as the person got up and smirked down at you.

“Goodnight loser. I hope you rot in hell.”

They soon took off running, leaving you there helpless with no voice to scream for help, to tell people who did it. But of course, you weren’t stupid. Despite the lack of light, only an idiot couldn’t catch on easily. For there is only one person who calls you ‘Loser’ right from the start. Your doubts were confirmed the minute that nickname left their lips.

Dumb move Yeonjun.

Since you couldn’t scream for help, you slowly began to drag yourself across the room, leaving a long trail of blood behind your leg where you got stabbed only to reach the end of Gahyeon’s bed.

With one swift grasp, you managed to hold onto her shirt and that was enough to wake her.

It took her a second to realize what happened until she saw the trail of blood on the floor and your bleeding throat that you were desperately putting pressure on. She let out a shrilling scream before yelling for help from the others. Everyone began to panic at the gruesome scene, making Hyunjae cradle you while Yunho rushed out to get help.

Jungkook carried you to the hospital wing, with Gahyeon, Hyunjae, Yunho and Changkyun tagging along. One of the nurses inspected your injury, seeing that you’ve lost quite a bit of blood. She mentioned that they had to give you some blood in order to save you and they have to be the same blood type as yours. After much inspection, it was clear that only Jungkook and Hyunjae shared the same blood type as you.

Both of them offered to donate some of their blood to you to save your life. While the two were being drawn of their blood, Changkyun went ahead and brought the other two back to their dormitory to rest. You were already laying there on the medical bed unconscious which means you couldn’t feel the way Gahyeon gently gave your blood coated hands a small squeeze.

“Please be okay, Y/N.” She whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. Yunho comforted the girl before they both left with Changkyun.

A few minutes later, the nurse managed to collect as much blood as you probably needed after losing them quite a bit. She placed a bandaid over the spots where she injected the tube in their arms. After she was done, she dismissed the two boys but Jungkook asked if he could stay.

She nodded, setting up the equipment so that the blood she collected from the two gentlemen could be transferred into your body through the IV in your hand.

Hyunjae left after caressing the top of your head, wishing you a speedy recovery.

The nurse went ahead and disinfected your wounds before suturing the open cuts and wrapping them with bandages. Once she was done, she excused herself, leaving you alone with Jungkook as the male went over to scoot his chair closer to your side. Jungkook carefully reaches for your hand that didn’t have the needle attached. He brings it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly.

“I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry this happened to you Y/N. You truly don’t deserve this…” Jungkook whispered as he stood up to plant a gentle kiss on your forehead.

He felt sorry. He felt sick. He felt confused. But more importantly, he felt furious at whoever did this to you. Of course he didn’t know who but you knew.

You woke up to a sharp pain in your throat, feeling it get itchy like an unusual sore throat. The prickling pain in your right calf made your leg jolt as you shot your tired eyes open. The morning sun filled the room. You carefully looked around to find you alone in the room which looks to be the hospital wing.

Memories from last night suddenly came flashing into your mind like a tsunami, and yet, you still couldn’t wrap your mind around it.

Did that really happen?

Was it all a dream?

You almost didn’t want to believe it until your hands reached up to your throat and you felt the soft material of the bandage taped onto your neck. Of course, your stubbornness was trying to make you think otherwise so you opened your mouth to speak.

Truth be told, nothing comes out of your mouth. Absolutely nothing. Not even a sound.

Your thoughts were swirling, a million things running across your head at that very moment. From the incident last night to the final evaluation test you were supposed to have today. The test was supposed to determine your final results of your initiation. It was supposed to determine whether you get to stay in Dauntless or you get kicked out and become Factionless.

Of course, there are two ways of getting that second option. First is by failing Stage 3, and second is of course by not attending the final test at all.

How wonderful.

As your mind was swirling with these complications, you completely missed the figure that was making their way to you. It wasn’t until they were a few feet from you that you looked up only to lock eyes with Jungkook.

Immediately, a whole swarm of emotions came rushing through you as you began to cry. Jungkook rushed over to you, only to hush you.

“Shh… Shh… Don’t cry. It’s okay. I’m here. You’re fine. I’m here.” Jungkook cooed as he held you in his arms, feeling the way your arms wrapped around his waist tightly like you were afraid he might disappear if you let go. His heart swelled upon feeling his shirt get soaked from your tears.

Your silent cries only made his heart drop even more. Jungkook caressed the back of your head lovingly, making sure to give you small reassuring kisses to the side of your head as a way to hopefully calm you down.

You both stayed like that for a bit before he sang you a sweet song in your ear.

Jungkook felt your body relax in his touch, happy that his singing made you calmer. After a while, he pulled away slowly to look you in the eye. How is it possible that you are just sitting there crying your eyes out and yet you still looked beautiful? Or maybe it’s just him.

Who knows.

Nevertheless, he wipes your tears with his thumbs and soon smiles down at you.

“You’re so strong. You’re a strong girl Y/N. And I really admire you for that.” He whispered. You couldn’t help but crack a tiny smile when you felt him boop your nose with his own. You had so much to say to him. So much you wanted to share with him. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side today. Just then, Jungkook’s smile faltered and it made you curious.

You reached for his wrist where his hand was just cupping your face softly, to catch his attention. You silently asked him what’s wrong through your worried eyes, hoping he could read your mind.

Thankfully, he did.

“The final stage… It starts in 5 minutes. I talked to the leaders about your current condition. I tried my best to change their mind, Changkyun did try too… Unfortunately, the leaders made an agreement to… disqualify you, which means… y-you…” Jungkook paused as he struggled to convey the message to you but you already knew what it meant.

You violently shook your head at him. You had to redeem yourself. You didn’t plan for this to happen. You were forced to be in this damn medical bed out of your own will. Oh if only they saw who did this to you, would they gladly throw him to the Factionless.

“Decision has been made. Since you can’t physically be there, you’re immediately disqualified.” Jungkook said as you shook your head again. There must be something about the way you were staring at him because at that very moment, it was as though you sent him a message through telepathy.

“Wait a minute… For the final test, you don’t need to talk. You… just need to be physically there for the simulation.” Jungkook said in realization as your eyes lit up.

“Does that mean… she’s immediately disqualified?” Gahyeon asked sadly, only for Hyunjae to nod.

“I mean, technically according to the rules, you are supposed to be here physically for the final test… So, I guess that’s true then…” Hyunjae said.

The rest of them who were gathered by the side of the hall where the final stage would take place, shared mostly the same emotions about you not being able to join them which would render you as Factionless by default even after all your hard work.

However, it looks like someone couldn’t care less about you not making it.

“Who cares? She doesn't belong in Dauntless anyway.” Yeonjun rolls his eyes as he walks to the front, leaning against one of the pillars. Your friends exchanged a few glances to one another, not feeling good about the way he said that. A few minutes passed, and they had just finished the test with the third person on the list. All the initiates were anxious as they waited for their turn. Soon enough, the Dauntless leader calls out the next name to be on stage.

“Y/F/N.”

With that, the room fell silent as the initiates looked at each other with deep frowns on their faces. A few beats of silences went by, not a single sign of you anywhere. Meanwhile, Yeonjun had that devilish smirk on his face as he felt satisfied with your lack of presence.

Unfortunately, just as the leader was about to call out the next person on the list, Jungkook’s voice echoed around the hall from the opposite end of where the initiates were gathered. That’s when Jungkook emerged through the double doors with you beside him.

He had one arm wrapped around your waist as you limped your way to the platform where the chair was waiting for you. Your friends cheered for your arrival as they shouted a string of goodlucks to you. Yeonjun growled, totally not expecting to find you still alive.

Maybe he didn’t cut you deep enough.

You immediately recognized the lady who was prepping the tools to put you into simulation, to be the same lady you met on your Initiation test.

After you sat down, Jungkook gave your waist a little squeeze before he smiled down at you and whispered, “Goodluck.”

He soon left your side as the lady asked you if you were ready. You gave her a small nod, letting her inject the needle into your neck right below your ear.

Once the serum had been injected into your system, it took effect right away, bringing you to your first simulation. It was the same simulations you went through during your Stage 2. They were all of your fears connecting one simulation to the other. You managed to remember what Jungkook taught you during the past few weeks and how to properly handle each situation like a fellow Dauntless.

The minute your last simulation ended, you woke up calmly only for the lady to smile.

“You did well.” She complimented you as she helped you sit up. Jungkook came to your side and very gently led you off the platform.

“Good job. Looks like my tips worked huh?” Jungkook asked, to which you smiled, feeling shy all of a sudden. He guided you to the side only for your friends to rush over to you.

“Sweetie! You’re okay! How are you?” Gahyeon asked as she hugged you, making you return her hug. You showed an ‘okay’ sign with your hand before Yunho ruffled your hair. “Of course you are, you’re a beast Y/N.” His comment made some of them laugh, including you. Just then, your eyes drifted to your left only to meet Yeonjun’s fiery eyes.

All you wanted to do was throw him in The Pit. The last thing you wanted was to see his competitive ass everyday from now on.

However, you weren’t going to kill him despite all the pain he’s caused you.

After letting you meet up with your friends, Jungkook brought you back to his penthouse to let you rest. He carefully laid you down on his bed, pulling his blanket up to your chest while you snuggled into his side with your head resting on his chest. Jungkook chuckled as he caressed your hair, tucking them behind your ear, making sure to let his fingers softly trace the side of your face as he did so.

“No matter what the results are, I’m never leaving your side. That, I can promise you.” Jungkook said softly as you tilted your head up to look at him. You wished you could speak. You wished you could verbally say this to him outloud. Unfortunately you couldn’t.

In the end, you opted for the saying ‘Actions speak louder than words’ and so, with that being said, you lifted your head up and used your left elbow to prop your body up on the mattress.

Jungkook watched you carefully as you slowly leaned in only to press your lips softly on his. Almost instantly, he wrapped one arm around your waist while the other allowed his fingers to tangle into your soft locks. You reached a hand up to cup his cheek, letting your thumb trace the scar he had on his left cheekbone. You felt him smile against your lips as he pulled away for a breath.

His eyes fluttered open to find your cute ones staring back at him. Jungkook couldn’t help but chuckle as he gently massaged your scalp in a calming manner.

“If that is your way of telling me what I think it is, then I’ll be the one to confirm verbally that I feel the same way too…” Jungkook’s voice was smooth and sultry in your ears, it almost made you melt into a puddle. Almost.

So with one more kiss from him, your heart raced in your chest as he pulled away to let his lips hover over yours before he said the words you’ve been meaning to tell him.

“I love you Y/N.”

Prologue

6 months had passed, you ended up staying in Dauntless together with Gahyeon, Hyunjae and Yunho. Right after the final stage, you gave Jungkook the weapon Yeonjun used to attack you the night before the final stage. After investigating the weapon and finding evidence that confirms Yeonjun was indeed the attacker, he was immediately thrown out of Dauntless. Rendering him Factionless.

Yes, that jerk deserved it.

Yunho was given the role of a guard due to his unfortunate ranking but hey, at least he wasn’t Factionless.

Gahyeon was a trainer for Dauntless-born initiates while you and Hyunjae were trainers for faction transfers. Although, you only started becoming one after the 3rd month when you were starting to be able to talk again.

And how was your relationship with Jungkook, might I ask?

Well, just splendid.

Your relationship with him only grew stronger each day as he took care of you during the first few months when you still had difficulties to talk. He was always there for you when you needed someone to back you up in heated arguments.

Jungkook took you to visit your parents the day after the final stage. No doubt your parents got upset over what happened to their daughter, they were more than thankful that you were still alive and that Jungkook was there to keep you sane. As the months go by, Jungkook’s feelings for you bloomed.

Today was another day of training for you and your initiates where you managed to guide the new initiates along with Hyunjae’s help.

You were just standing off to the side, letting Hyunjae take over for the knife throwing session when you suddenly felt a pair of strong arms wrapping itself around your waist. You giggled as you turned your head to find Jungkook’s face just mere inches away from yours.

“Not here, love… We’re in the middle of training.” You whispered, earning a soft chuckle from him before he peppered your cheek with kisses.

“Can’t I just give my beautiful girlfriend some loving kisses before I go to my meeting?” Jungkook teased, making you giggle.

“Aren’t you being needy?” You laughed.

“Only when I miss you…”

“We literally saw each other an hour ago, Kook.”

“I know.” Jungkook grinned cutely at you only for you to push his face away gently while you laughed.

“Hmm, needy indeed.”

“Hey…” He pouted at you. Of course your heart couldn’t bear to see his sad pout so you turned to face him completely. Reaching up with both hands to hold his face, you pressed your lips on his before pulling away to see his silly smile on his face.

“I love you.” You whispered as you felt him hug you.

“I love you more.”

That was the last thing you heard as Changkyun’s voice beckons your boyfriend over from a few feet behind Jungkook. “Come on lovebird, we gotta go… See you later Y/N.” Changkyun chuckled as he wiggled his index finger towards Jungkook. Your boyfriend gives you one last kiss before he jogs over to his older friend.

Maybe joining Dauntless wasn’t as bad as you thought after all.

~~~

Previous

a/n: Thank you for reading this series! Do check out my other fics if you're interested to read more of my writings! ❤️

Main Masterlist

Taglist: @moonchild1 @danyxthirstae01 @helenazbmrskai @jenna-posts @pimentelssmile

[misslynn99]

Epicenter: Chapter One

Link on AO3: Epicenter

Author: misslynn_99 (Me!)

a/n: I totally forgot that I could post this here to help bring in traffic lol. This is a Pro Hero! Bakugo x Reader insert I've been playing around with. Enjoy!

Red Riot was a regular of yours. His bright smile lit up the atmosphere of the little coffee shop, infectious and spilling over to anyone else in the vicinity. He was friendly, inviting even, as he ordered two coffees- one plain black and another syrupy sweet with cream. He usually turned up a couple times a week up business causal, perfectly content to leisurely chat and sign autographs before inevitably ducking out shyly, laughing that his partner wouldn’t be thrilled with cold coffee. You’d grown to love the visits of the charming hero, finding it easy to get lost in his easy conversation and brilliant ruby eyes. You couldn’t help but wish that maybe one day he’d order just one coffee and stay a while longer to sip it at a table across from you.

Today was not one of those days. Instead, he barreled through the doors, dragging a bedraggled blonde in across his bare shoulders. The harsh muzzle and shredded fabric of his hero costume was a slap in the face, reminding you that he was not just a charming civilian, but instead one of the finest defenders of the city. The café customers had already evacuated, but you had stayed to quickly close up the shop. “Watch him, will ya?” He huffed. “He’s been hurt. I know you’ve got a minor healing quirk, and he’s in no shape to return to the fight. Deku and Uravity are on the scene too. We can handle it from there, but this idiot will get himself killed just to prove that he’s just fine.”

“Okay,” You nodded. “I’ll do my best to patch him up.”

“Thanks, doll.” He prodded at your check playfully. “I owe you one. Blasty here is quite the bear when he’s pissed. Don’t worry, I made sure his blasters were empty before I brought him to you. I couldn’t have him taking out my favorite place. ” Carefully setting the blonde on the coffee bar, Red Riot raced back to the scene, where a villain with a rouge power-type quirk was wreaking havoc.

“What am I going to do with you?” The words absentmindedly left your lips, fingers tracing a tender looking cut along his arm. Sighing, you stripped the gauntlets from his arms and legs, leaving the pro hero in just the Kevlar of his hero costume.

Angry red bruises already dotted his exposed skin. His chest shuttered unevenly with each shallow breath, and his soft blonde hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat. “I’ve got to have a first aid kit around here somewhere.”

The scent of alcohol almost overpowered the stench of burnt sugar and gasoline that seemed to seep from the blonde’s every pore. Even barely conscious, he hissed a curse as the disinfectant stung his open wounds “Fuck!”

“Red’ll kill me if you get an infection.” You muttered. “Just sit still. I’ll get you something for the pain here soon.”

“Hands off.” He slurred. “I’m going back.”

“Your ribs are broken.” A gentle hand to his chest was more than enough to stop the hero.  “Let me heal you first.”

Stalling was your best option, but sparks danced along the hero’s palms. He left me with Ground Zero, cheeky little asshole. you thought viciously. The feral black mask and fiery red eyes should have been a dead giveaway but, lost in the moment with Red Riot, you had missed it. Ground Zero looked so vulnerable, even as he struggled to resist your help. Each breath seemed to whistle through his gritted teeth. Rivulets of sweat dripped down his brow and splattered onto the counter, and his entire frame shuddered from pain. Yet his steely frown bit back at you, screaming that he was determined to rejoin the fight with a confidence that his words could not convey.

“And Shitty Hair, Deku, and Cheeks aren’t finishing without me.”

“Just let me handle the ribs, okay?” You pacified. “Broken ribs could mean a punctured lung with another hit, and a punctured lung means you’ll spend the next few weeks in the hospital with a chest tube. Even then, you might not get the lung capacity back. So let me fix it.”

“Fine.” He spat. “I’m waiting.”

You felt the heat of embarrassment on your face. “This is going to hurt. A lot.” You gulped. “I need to touch the injury directly, so shirt off.”

Ground Zero motioned to pull the black and orange tank top over his head, but froze. “Can’t move my shoulder like that.” He growled.

“Should’ve known.” You sighed nervously. “You’ve probably got flail chest close to your sternum. Where ever that thing hit you, I think it broke a bunch of ribs so they’re not attached to the rest of your chest wall now.”

“Just fix it.” Ground Zero snapped. “By any means necessary.”

You nodded, intimidated by the hero’s anger. Praying that no one walked in the shop, you carefully peeled the fabric away, and flinched at the sight of the marred skin. Sickeningly black bruises blossomed from just below his clavicle and you tenderly laid a hand across his pectoral. The bones shifted slightly under your touch. His injuries were more extensive than you had expected, as you felt the puffy skin and sharp edges of displaced fractures through the lean tissue of his torso.

“How do I know this isn’t just an excuse to feel me up, perv?” A bright shade of red flushed his cheeks.

“That’s pretty messed up.” You glowered. “I don’t have to do this, you know. All I’d have to tell Red is that I tried but you blew me off and staggered out the door anyways. I don’t appreciate being accused of groping you while trying to do you a favor, so if you don’t want my help we can just wait here.”

“Fine, just get on with it.”

Cool energy trailed from your fingertips, dancing over his skin and sinking in. “Fuck!” He swore again, writhing against the counter. You could feel yourself sway, energy sapping as the bones knit back together. His chest grew warm beneath your touch, or maybe it was just your icy fingers as cold settled in your core.

“Why don’t I feel tired?” He peered curiously at you, as you slumped forward onto the counter.

“Because it saps my energy, not yours. Why do you think I own a coffee shop instead of being a traveling healer?”

“Blasty!” Red Riot’s voice was music to your ears. “I hope you didn’t give my favorite girl too much trouble now.”

“He,” you wheezed. “Still needs to see a doctor. He needs a chest X ray to make sure everything is in the right place. “

“I think you need to see a doctor.” Red’s eyebrows furrowed in concern, running a hand across your forehead, fingers trembling against the freezing skin beneath. “You’re so cold.”

“If I’m going to a doctor, so is this idiot.” You scowled at Ground Zero’s jeer, getting to his feet as if to prove he was just fine.

“Come on.” The blonde grabbed your arm, pulling you across the bar, and attempted to shoulder your weight across his back.

“Not on my watch.” Red caught you before you could hit the ground. “Didn’t she say that you need to be seen? Something tells me that you’re the one who needs to be carried.”

“I can walk myself!” Ground Zero barked, although his knuckles were white from gripping the counter top and his jaw clenched. Your vision was swimming, but he seemed to sway as he took a few unsteady steps towards the door.

“Sure you can.” Red rolled his eyes with a wink your way. “But you’re not taking this lovely lady on a one-way trip to the floor in the process.

“I’ve got them!” A flash of pink and black ducked around Red’s arms, and suddenly you were weightless. “Nearest hospital is a couple of blocks to the north. Deku is taking the villain down to the station, in the quirk-cancelling cuffs. I moved most of the rubble out of the way, but I’ll come back to help with the clean-up. I just had to see how Bakugo was holding up. “

“I think my girl here has him stable.” Red Riot frowned. “But she’s not doing so hot. Why’s that? I thought Blasty here would be the one drained.”

“Quirk,” You slurred, relaxing in to the weightless embrace of whatever was supporting you. “Drains my energy. ‘S why I’m not a healer. He was hurt, real bad. Flail chest, I think.”

“She needs IV fluids.” You were vaguely aware of moving, unbidden, with Red’s arms no longer warming you against his chest as your consciousness dimmed.

................................

A gentle prod to the arm stirred you back into awareness. “Hey.”

“Red Riot.” Your head lolled to the side. The cool, metallic hospital bed chilled your bare skin, shivering against the thin blanket. The smell of antiseptic stung, and the image of Ground Zero’s uneven breaths burned behind your eyelids. The tell-tale stiffness in your arm was a sign of the IV already inserted, surely dulling the ache in your own chest with a steady drip of pain medication. “Where is he? Is he okay?”

“Blasty is doing just fine.” His warm hand splayed across your shoulder comfortingly. You hadn’t noticed before, but as he leaned over your bedside, you could have sworn that you saw a hint of black roots amongst his fiery red hair. Concern creased his face, and his cologne tickled at your throat, smelling of patchouli, leather, and pine. “You gave us all quite the scare there. But Ground Zero is a lucky man. The doctors say that you fixed up his five broken ribs, three of which detached from his chest wall.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s in the operating room. They had to go in and stop some of the internal bleeding, and clear out the pooled blood in his chest so it wouldn’t give him a collapsed lung.”

“Thank you, Red Riot.” A sigh escaped your lips.

“Don’t be so formal. My name is Eijirou Kirishima. Call me Eijirou, or Kiri, or just something that’s not my hero name. It’s not like my real name is a public secret.” He laughed.

Stealing a glance to the side, you smirked. “I could call you Sharky.” His eyes widened, and you chuckled. “But I think I like Kiri.”

A doctor quickly cut the exchange short, her harsh raps on the door breaking the moment. “He’s out of the OR and in recovery.” She directed her attention towards Eijirou. “Do you want to go back and see him?”

“You can go, I’ll be okay.”

“Nah, Bakugo would never let me live it down if I ditched a civilian at the hospital.”

“I want to know how he’s doing.” You nudged his side with your elbow, trying your best to look convincing. “I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.”

“I’ll be right back!” The tension in his shoulders eased, sagging in relief. “Don’t leave without me, okay?”

“I’ll hold her discharge paperwork until you return.” The doctor’s lips quirked in a half-smile. “I need to ask her a few questions anyhow, so it is beneficial that you’re out of the room for a little bit.”

Eijirou scurried out, and a pang of affection fluttered in your chest. “He’s such a kind hero.” You sighed.

“He is.” The doctor plucked a pen from the pocket of her white coat and began to add notes to your medical chart. “How are you feeling? Still light headed?”

“I feel much better. Just a bit tired still.”

“Okay, I’m going to release you with orders to take it easy for the next day or so, and if you start feeling poorly, please go either to your general practitioner, or return here for further treatment. I’m going to remove your IV, and then I just need you to sign the discharge paperwork, and wait for your escort to come back.”

“I’m back!” Eijirou grinned as he poked his head in, watching as you signed the papers. “Uraraka is forcibly floating Blasty back to his apartment so he doesn’t wind up passed out on a train somewhere. They’ve got him all sorts of knocked up on pain killers. But I’m ready to take you back to the shop if you’re good to go.”

“I am.” You nodded. “I still need to finish closing up shop, though. I locked up the cash from the register, but the machines need cleaned and the doors need locked before I call it a night.”

Eijirou just smiled sheepishly, his hands ready to steady you as you climbed out of the hospital bed.

“I’m okay.” You whined, batting his arm away playfully. “The press would have a hay day if you held my arm or god forbid carried me anywhere.”

“Oh! Uhh, yeah, you’re right.” He flinched, arms snapping back to his sides, and you instantly regretted even bringing it up as you watched Eijirou school his features to look carefully professional once more, carefully ushering you out the door.

"I think the ladies would be too devastated, if the press made it seem like the most eligible bachelor of the pro heroes was off the dating market.” You joked nervously, trying to ease the tension that had settled between the two of you.

“Obviously.” He rolled his eyes, cracking a slight smirk. “Who else are they going to drool over? No one else is nearly as manly as me.”

"Not even Ground Zero?”

“A close second.” He conceded. “But he really only shows anger and annoyance, which decidedly unmanly. His only downfall.”

The café was in sight again- and mostly still intact. It was nestled between a few other businesses on the strip, quiet and unassuming. You wondered briefly how the heroes had even taken notice, when everything else about the world of heroes seemed so loud and chaotic. The chalkboard outside was  smudged with dust, as were the windows that offered a peak into the cozy shop, but as far as you could see, nothing had been damaged or broken into during your absence.

“I think tomorrow is going to be a long day of cleaning.” You groaned.

“Occupational hazard.” Eijirou laughed. “I think this is where I let you go, though.”

Turning to face him and putting your hand on his shoulder, you looked into his eyes. “Thank you, Eijirou. Thanks for making sure I was okay and that I got home safely. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, and what you continue to do for the city.”

“Just doing my job.” He replied sheepishly, his voice half an octave higher than usual. “I think my patrol shift starts here soon, so I’ll catch on the flipside for my usual.”

Eijirou left, and you carefully locked the doors behind him. The silence was deafening. The café usually buzzed with quite murmurs of those working, catching up with friends, or tentatively flirting with a prospective partner. Normally, the café wouldn’t close for a few more hours, but even leaning against the counter seemed to draw from the deepest reserves of strength you could bare, and you wished Eijirou had stayed.

That’s what you get for making the man so uncomfortable. The voice inside your head whispered cruelly. Shouldn’t get hung up on your silly little crush. He’s just a hero looking to maintain a public image, not get to know you or your life or sweep you off of your feet. You should stop this before you embarrass yourself.

“Kiri is a kind man.” You whispered to yourself, as if to silence your own internal monologue, hands deftly cleaning the espresso machines. “He cares about others. I may not be special, but he is genuine.”

The coffee bar was strangely oily, and once again your senses were assaulted with the stench of over-cooked caramel and thick smoke. Ground Zero was an enigma; you knew that his temper was just as explosive as his quirk, frequently berating civilians unfortunate enough to be caught in his way and chasing away reporters with a more than a few sparks. Yet, despite his notoriously low public approval levels, he still managed to rank as the number two hero. His record for take downs and civilian rescues were immaculate, only outranked by Deku. For someone so who was so determined to be the take over the spot for number one hero, he was prickly at best and outright aggressive at worst. He was a confusing contradiction of everything the public believed of pro heroes, and in his own way, stole the media’s attention as they leaned into Ground Zero’s “bad boy” reputation.

You wondered if he appreciated the media’s attempts to make him more likeable, or if it only annoyed him further. Ground Zero certainly didn’t seem appreciative of your help, nor was he thrilled with Eijirou’s attempts to joke about his bad attitude. He was so different from his partner; Red Riot was the media’s sweetheart, sympathetic and caring, and known for his tendency to help civilians even with menial tasks. He was both an unbreakable force for good against the villains plaguing the city and an approachable everyday hero.

Ground Zero didn’t have that luxury, his humanity lost to his pro hero status. It seemed like a lonely existence. With a sigh, you finished your cleaning, and taped a “Closed early” sign to the front door, and wandered back up to your apartment to rest for the evening.

[ronnytherandom]

I forgot to watch content all week so i wrote about games ive been playing

9/2/2021: The Truman Show

You should fear your fears but embrace them and use them to guide you into the unknown, to explore and experience what life has to offer. Fear stands between you and the fullest experience of life so you must pass through it to better yourself. Heed not the walls built about you and the chains made to hold you. Though the architects insist it will preserve your life, containment is anathema to life. Do not take in faith the benevolence of powers that be; instead trust those who would support and liberate you, guide you through fear and into life.

As best I can lay it out, I think this is the philosophy of the Truman show but there is so much more to read into it also. There is critique of systems of commodification and celebrity (i.e. capitalism) reducing human beings to a consumable good as well as encouragement to find and pursue your goals despite adversity and even sensibility which is also tied to the illusion of economic responsibility. You can’t put a camera inside a human head, you can never “know” them without being an active and intrinsic part of their life, but also there is need for reciprocation. If one half exists with ulterior motive then the entire relationship is rotten; sincere humanity is what creates real connections. Without such your world is fake. A world built around one person is a world where no one can truly live. All these actors have given up basically their entire lives for the sake of watching Truman have his life built around him by outside forces, have allowed themselves to be commodified and dehumanised for the good of one man, Christoph. The man at the top has delusions of grandeur and thinks only of his own bottom line, he cares not for his subjects but simply wants them to do as he tells them because it benefits him to commodify their lives and interactions. Even then he cannot stand to lose control and in seeking to demonstrate Truman’s “realness” he structures his life so thoroughly that eventually there’s no reality left, only a script and adverts. But the people watching still empathise with Truman because everyone in the working class understands what it is to be trapped because real life is our own Truman show and one day we must all pass through fear, step out of the dome and create a real life for ourselves outside of the system of commodification which consumes everyone’s life and removes all realness and sincerity and emotional catharsis from it.

I unreservedly love this film.

14/2/2021: Assorted Game Reviews

Horizon Zero Dawn (Unfinished due to technical issues, 45 hours inc. parts of Frozen Wilds): This game is really cool and really fun. I think it is defined by its incredible setting which somehow creates a fresh feeling post-apocalyptic environment. Said environment creates intriguing alt-future lore and some very interesting environments to explore. I love the machine designs (especially tallnecks!) and was very sad to hear one of their contributing artists passed away recently but I’m glad their work lives on in this visually stunning game. I’m a sucker for Ubisoft-style open world games simply because it tickles a certain kind of itch and somehow this non-Ubisoft game has outdone Ubisoft on their own formula, which is hilarious, but also good for me as running around this world exploring and clearing map markers is engaging fun. Not least because of the combat. I have a minor criticism here that the combat feels slightly awkward on mouse and keyboard, the arrows never seem to go where I’m aiming, but aside from that the experience of fighting is a grand one. Enemies never lose their threat and I love the weak spot system the game employs which makes every tool useful in niche circumstance and rewards curiosity. It specifically manages this in a way that I feel the Witcher series could learn from if it ever returns; by making head on assault less viable and encouraging tactical hunting. I do feel this system makes hunting robots so fun that by contrast hunting humans becomes a chore however, though I noted this improves in the dlc with the addition of humans with elemental weaknesses limited in number as they are. I cannot speak for the story in entirety but what I encountered was pretty good, though I feel as if it was only just really getting going at the point where I could not continue. I find Aloy to be a compelling and well portrayed protagonist and though I can guess about her origin and the ultimate end of the alt-future apocalypse I still want to see how it plays out on screen, so will return to this as soon as I’ve fixed it.

Rimworld (122 hours. Familiar with but do not own Royalty Expansion):

Rimworld is one of those super special games that I don’t think I have a single problem with. Fair warning it can be brutal and is heavily dependent on RNG but this allows it to create truly unique and interesting scenarios on a constant basis. In the wider perspective it could be described as formulaic, with regular cycles of managing the settlement between raids and random events, but the devils in the details. Colonist traits, health and skills dictate how you play and sometimes you’ll be forced to adapt as some colonists simply refuse to perform some tasks. The depth of health particularly amuses me, in that each little part of someone’s body is modelled in a way. If you’re in a firefight you may take a single bullet which grazes your finger and you’re fine. Alternately it could pierce your human leather cowboy hat, your skull and kill you instantly and the game will tell you exactly what happened. The risk/reward element is addictive enough, and that’s without accounting for just how cool it is to see your colony slowly expand. Establishing more and more options for crafting is fun and shows off the full range of different items in the game which is fucking extensive. Between clothing, weapons, armour, sculpture and drugs to name only a few you have the opportunity to create many varied production lines either for your colonists or to trade for money and there is a lot of fun to be had here as well as it is quite satisfying to see psychoid you have grown personally become the cocaine your colonists snort to help them stay awake on limited sleep. From an archaeologist’s perspective it is especially cool to look back over your base and see the hints of how and why structures were built and remember the history of your limitations and development through structure. I think the lore of the universe is really cool too, a very 40k-esque kind of place except with far less order, somehow. But the universe does an excellent job of feeling alive and moving constantly on both a planetary and interstellar level. You can fully believe that while you build wooden shacks to shield yourself from terrifyingly low temperatures there are simultaneously rich pieces of shit living it up on the glitterworld that’s one system over. The music does an excellent job of creating the wild west frontier atmosphere the game cultivates to great effect. Ultimately, for just being a grid with a series of different numbers attached, this game does a fantastic job of creating a compelling, brutal and very real colony management experience. I dont think I can properly put into words the grandness and scope of this one. I didnt even mention the modding scene, which is expansive and tailors to basically any need you could have. The Rim is a terrifying place but theres so much fun to be had.

Factorio (86 hours, mostly 1.1): Having completed a game of Factorio I can tell you reliably that this is one of the best games ever made, thoroughly addictive and fun. If you like numbers, logistics, TRAINS, its gonna be your thing. Not to mention its probably the only documented case of a game with no bugs (so far as official forums are concerned). Strictly speaking this games combat is not the most engrossing thing but good lord do you feel it when you acquire a flamethrower. The way each aspect of the game (production, research, logistics, combat, upgrades for everything therein) feeds into the next is a really well constructed balancing act such that you must experience the full game in order to complete it and I always appreciate this kind of design. I think its one of the best tenets of factory game design especially as its something present in Satisfactory too. Beyond all of this generalised good the game is also excellent in its intricacies, the architecture necessary to build a maximum efficiency base, the level of planning and organisation that can be employed is mind-blowing. Not to mention the mod community, factorion is already an extensive experience and some mad bastards have seen fit to complicate it further, hats off to them. This really is a great moment in gaming.

 Destiny 2 (198 hours, all expansions, played some post Forsaken release, mostly Season of Arrivals onwards, spent roughly £20 on microtransactions):

This is a very interesting and enjoyable experience, but I must say it can be a bit controversial at times. What its does particularly well is moment to moment gameplay and design in all aspects. The game is stunning; between environments, cosmetics, shaders ships and ghosts there’s a vast range of incredible things to see, all rooted in the “pseudo-magi-science” aesthetic it’s got going on. The class design is excellent and you really do feel like you embody this rampaging madman / agile gunman / space wizard archetype, whichever you choose to play. The abilities, especially supers, are very satisfying. Everything has heft and power behind it which can be felt in all aspects of design; sound and animation is top notch. Movement is cool, you can feel how fast you move both on foot and in vehicles and the navigation has a little fun subtlety depending on your class jump, even if you can bounce unpredictably occasionally. But for the love of god why is the wall kick in there? It has only ever served to push me from a ledge into a bottomless pit. You're looking to remove antiquated content? Start there. Some guns are not so good to shoot but there’s such a great range of guns that are fun its like complaining about one drop in an ocean; and enemies are fun to shoot at, each faction distinct in meaningful ways and presenting an effective challenge. Speaking of oceans, that’s one way to describe the lore. I haven’t dived too deep but it keeps going down forever and everything I’ve read is intriguing. As a former Elder Scrolls lore nut this is something I could definitely sink my teeth into, though its much more of a pulpy sci-fi vibe than a pure nonsense vibe. I do think the game has a bit of a loot problem, primarily in regards to the conflict between high stats and looking good. This should never be a conflict, and yes you can apply ornaments to any purple gear but that’s not enough when I spend the entire time grinding power levels and thus must change armour and weapons on a constant basis to progress. This game needs a true transmog system and if not that, rethink how gear power level works. Perhaps rather than earning new instances of gear you always possess a version of it and the loot you acquire in missions just upgrades your instance to your current overall power level? This would serve to do away with the current upgrade system which I think is a needless additional grind. Perhaps it could be retained in using enhancement cores to empower gear as present but necessitating a whole upgrade module to keep your favourite weapon on hand is kind of painful honestly. There is also at present the issue of sunsetting gear, mildly controversial to say the least. If it’s necessary to streamline the game and make it function moving forward so be it but surely loot pools should be adjusted so you can actually get useful loot from older locations? And why sunset personal instances of gear which can be acquired at the regular power level anyway? I had to throw away my favourite bow and hunt down a new version of the exact same weapon for… what reason? I do think destination navigation leaves a little to be desired also. I get that having a physical hub world is meaningful but Destiny does not have a very extroverted community; I can count the times someone noticed me in the tower on one hand. And its not even like there’s fun activities to be found in the same sense as say Deep Rock Galactic, which really does take advantage of its hub. Perhaps for players who simply want to go about their business all of the vendors could be set into a menu system where just clicking an icon takes you to their menu from anywhere in the system rather than, per se, having to go through an entire loading screen (Which takes you to orbit and back) to reach a location which serves simply as the front for four menus. These are established player problems. As a dedicated PvE player I can say that this game is immensely fun in combat and growing in power does feel really good. It’s something I recommend getting into, there’s just some very large creases that need ironing which the Bungie should really take the time to address rather than pushing out new in game content every three months.

[subtlerain]

Chrysalis - Part I

→ Vampire!Taehyung x reader

I ♥ II ♥ III ♥ IV ♥ V ♥ VI ♥ 

Synopsis: Life has never been easy for you, and desperate times calls for desperate measures. You’re willing to do anything to save the life of your dying sister, so you make a deal with the devil himself, your new task to be a live-in companion for Kim Taehyung, the reclusive vampire who despises your world and has demons of his own. Is this vampire really as heartless and loveless as he appears, or will his life be changed by a human girl willing to show him the beautiful things in life? 

Genres: Romance, angst, fluff & lots of feelings. 

Warnings: Mentions of blood, slight gore, some depressing themes & slight sadism 

A/N: Here it is guys! I have been working on this new series for a while after so many of you loved Honey, so I am finally posting the first chapter! I have a lot planned for this series, so buckle up and prepare yourself for some Vampire!Taehyung. Please show your support and enjoy Part I!

Check my faq for questions around my posting schedule!

Tagged: let me know if you’d like to be tagged when I update so you don’t miss the next chapter!

Companion.

Companion was the key word transcribed on the email you had received, a little red ‘1’ popping into your inbox at 10:02 pm on a lonely Sunday night.

Your eyebrows had risen high on your forehead at the sight of the congratulatory email, eyes bulging at the bright screen of your laptop as you sat in the leftmost corner of your bed, your body huddled among blankets and pillows.

It had been only the day previous that you once again found yourself searching frantically for anything, anything that could earn more than what you made at the tiny little cafe on 4th street, anything that you help lessen the stress that kept you up at night.

This peculiar situation had all started when you found the posting at the very bottom of an ‘odd jobs’ forum, one that had been cast to the very depths of the already sketchy and utterly concerning requests that made your skin crawl.

It seemed normal by the heading, almost like a caregiver, friend, cleaning-lady type person, but when you opened it up, you realized why it was at the very bottom of the forum, under ‘medical experiment volunteer’ for instance. The word that would’ve turned even the most daring away, only a single word that might as well have been typed in bold, red ink.

Vampire.

But despite the uneasy feeling that crawled up your back that you assumed was a normal, human, reaction, you continued to read, noticing with interest that the request was not written by the blood-being who needed the companionship, but was rather written on behalf of him by his father.

The reason you had clicked on the apply button and attached a neat email with a resume which you wondered would even have any use, was the sentence at the bottom of the page that made your middle swell with hope.

Upon acceptance, the chosen companion will be granted any request as payment.

You clutched the acceptance email in your hands—you had printed it off just in case—and folded it neatly. You had already memorized it contents, already come to terms with what the acceptance meant, and the conditions that were contained within the email thread between you and the elder vampire.

Desperate times called for desperate measures, as the saying went.

Quite desperate actually, and quite cliché. But sometimes life handed you horrible things on rusty platters, and you had to do your best to not let that poison settle deep inside of you. Sacrifices had to be made, and you had to be okay.

Plus, the misery that seemed to follow you through you life had only made you stronger, and you much too stubborn to just give up.

There were lots of trees outside the taxi window, and you wondered how far in the countryside you really were. All you knew is that you seemed to be going up, and up meant hills and mountains.

A nice view was a hopeful promise that you let settle in the back of your mind.

“A vacation, Miss?”

You looked at the taxi driver through the rear view mirror and smiled.

“Some could call it that…” You looked back outside to the dark green conifers and hummed, “A long stay in an unfamiliar place, rather.”

He nodded in understanding, but you knew he didn’t understand.

It was laughable how much he didn’t understand, but you weren’t about to spill your story onto the middle-aged driver, at risk that he may three-point-turn and speed back down the long winding hill in fear of your safety, and his.

You played with the hem of your dress, fingering the light blue material. You weren’t sure what to wear for your first meeting, in fact, you weren’t sure what to even pack.

“You will stay for as long as he needs you, or whenever he meets my expectations. All expenses will be paid to meet your needs, along with your request.”

All expenses paid seemed like some kind of resort, but you felt no need to suddenly live lavishly, even in the estate you were being sent to live in.

You were simple and plain, owning a few nice pieces that you had worn to countless job interviews, paired with old silver jewelry from your mother.

Your eyes swept back outside to the endless line of trees and you rested your head against the window.You wondered what kinds of things would await you at the Kim Mansion.

You closed your eyes.

Well of course, other than the young, lonesome vampire.

***

The taxi stopped at 7:32 pm, and you opened your eyes at the lack of motion, blinking sleep from your eyes to see the driver once again looking at you through the rearview mirror expectantly.

Your eyes flicked to the metre.

Expensive.

You were very, very far away from your grungy apartment.

You blinked outside the window for a second, brows furrowing. Large, thick trees only looked back at you, “Are you sure this—“

“There’s a number right there. One-oh-three Fern Ridge.” The taxi driver explained, and you could see the weariness from the long drive in his own features.  

“Need help with your bags?”

You shook your head no before sliding him a few crumpled bills and wishing him a good evening as you clicked open the door.

And then he drove away, and you were left in front of a row of trees with your leather backpack slung over your shoulder, and your heavy case in your hand.

“One-oh-three Fern Ridge.” You spoke aloud to the trees.

The sun was starting to dip below the horizon, casting a glossy sheen on you, but the trees remained dark and sullen.

Nodding your head in an attempt at confidence, you took a step forward, eyes peering through the trees at a very over-grown gate.

You felt a pang of annoyance. Surely he would’ve had some sense to make sure you had a clear path to get to his home before your arrival.

But then again, it was his father who made the request, not him.

You proceeded through the walkway of trees to the gate, and after much pushing on the thick, black bars, it opened with a rusty squeak, and you jumped as a flock of birds leapt from their resting place in the trees at the disruptive noise.

You started through the second layer of trees that met you on the other side, and you were sure you smelled of pine and sap from your efforts to somehow escape the foliage that was much too thick for any garden.

And then you broke through, and you halted your movements at the sheer hugeness of the property you found yourself on.

The tree line had abruptly ended, but swept a large rectangle around the grounds in a protective hedge.

And in the centre was the largest house—if you could even call it that—that you had ever seen. It was victorian—as you would expect from a hundred-and-something year old vampire—with over hanging roofs and dark exterior, large windows that seemed to do nothing to bring the last beams of descending sunlight light into the home.

“You will be his companion. He’s lazy and young, and has no idea how to care for himself, let alone become the heir of my company. He’s been living alone in isolation for far too long, wallowing in his own self-pity and hatred. But his time is running out. Too much solidarity will kill a vampire you know, and we wouldn’t want that to happen.”

His father’s words echoed in your head, reminding you of your purpose once you set foot on the property.

You walked forwards, shoes tapping on the cracked cobblestone as you weaved through over-grown bushes and hedges, wilted flowers and stone statues with thick green moss and cracks chiseled deep into them.

You bristled because even the door was grand and intimidating, and you hesitated before reaching for the large brass knocker and dropping it to the faded door in two simple knocks.

Upon closer inspection, most of the metal that decorated the exterior of the estate was rusty and old, and you wondered when the last time was that someone entered the house.

Or exited.

You waited a moment, adjusting your knapsack on your shoulders.

No response.

Only the soft evening breeze and dipping sun reminded you that you were still on planet earth, not some dark, quiet world full of sticky green moss and rusted metal on the top of some goddamn mountain somewhere.

You were at a loss of what to do for a moment, wondering if turning and running away would be a better option, until a mix of determination and the knowledge of the contract you had signed electronically made you stay planted firmly in your spot on the front porch.

You were living here now, and you had an email to prove it. You had a new task at hand.

Breathing out you pushed open the door easily, and it creaked much like the gate, except it echoed in the empty foyer.

The first smell was dust, musky and thick, and the second was copper. It was to be expected, you thought grimly.

“Hello?” You ventured, still standing on the front step. Your voice was hoarse and quiet, so you cleared your throat and started again, taking one step inside.

You closed the door behind you softly, and the room was coated in darkness except for a candle lit chandelier that was sparkling in the dimness of the room.

“Hello? Mr. Kim?”

You sighed and closed your eyes for a moment, nearly laughing at how absurd the situation was. It was out of desperation that you were here, it was out of hopelessness and sacrifice that you were standing alone in a mansion on a mountain in the middle of nowhere. Your only task now was to be a companion to a lonesome vampire, who hadn’t yet made an appearance in his own home.

The folly of the circumstances didn’t dissuade you, and you walked out of the foyer and onto the next room, knuckles white from gripping the straps of your bag so tightly.

It was colder, somehow, despite the fact that you had only moved a few feet, and you instantly felt uneasy again. Now it was a more intense feeling, a more real feeling that there was something seriously wrong, something unearthly, preternatural even.

It was utterly frightening, and you felt like a child again, scared there was a monster in your closet.

And then a shiver ascended from your toes and up your spine and to the tips of your fingers as a low, gravelly voice cracked the brisk air around you.

“Ah, I thought I smelled human girl.”

You yelped, and dropped your case from your hand, bringing your arms up in some defensive position as you whipped your head around to find the source of the voice.

Except, the presence seemed to be all around you. On your right and left and above your head and below your feet. It was harsh and cold, and you could feel it right in your centre, a deep, low, blackness that was eating you from the inside out.

You were so cold, and all of your hair was standing on end, your natural fight or flight instincts kicking in.

And then the feeling subsided slightly, and you let out a shaky breath to remind yourself that in fact, you were still alive, despite feeling as if you had just made contact with death itself.

When you had regained some sense of, yes, I’m alive and haven’t been eaten, you noticed a presence, a more physical presence, and your eyes landed a deep red velvet couch on the right side of the room.

Except it wasn’t the couch that made you suck in a breath, it was the deep, lifeless eyes that were looking at you as if you were a being less significant than an ant. You felt more frightened than ever.

Mr. Kim.

Suddenly you could breathe again, and you wondered what kind of spell he had put on you to make your insides feel so empty and cold, what kind of darkness he held inside to nearly take over your entire body.

How simply inviting.

He turned his head away from you for a moment, and you stared openly.

You had never seen a vampire before, nor been this close to one in person, as far as you knew. You knew they existed, everyone did in fact. Humans and vampires coexisted, and most blood-beings adapted to the human world, the killing sprees that happened in the deep past scarce as they integrated with humans.

They integrated so well it nearly impossible to tell who was a vampire in a room and who was not.

But, some vampires had rejected human society and had chosen to live by themselves, far away.

Mr Kim, evidently, was one of those lonesome creatures.

It was true when they said vampires possessed a special kind of beauty. Elegant and smooth was the way they moved, from how they sat and walked and talked. They had the ability to speak softly yet harshly, words biting but ever so intriguing.

They could whisper music in your ears, and stab a dagger through your heart at the same time.

The vampire before you had turned away, as if letting you stare at him for a moment, and you took the opportunity to gaze over each feature.

You were going to be living with this creature, after all.

He was long limbed, dressed in a simple dark dress-coat, the colour something like a deep violet. Underneath could be rather ordinary on a human man—slacks and a blouse—but on him it was alluring, sensual, the way he stretched out on the couch was somehow provocative but natural, as if that was how he always simply laid on a couch.

His skin was smooth and milky, as you would expect, not a mark or freckle along the shape of his exposed neck or clavicle. He was an unmarked blank canvas without a beating heart or a trace of blood in his veins.

Eyes gliding to his face, you were met with a sharp, straight jawline cut across his profile, and the almost soft bump of his nose was an unexpected contrast to the sharp lines of his profile.

His eyes were closed, but you remembered the harshness of them, dark as night and shaped like perfect almonds, hidden behind a set of long, charcoal lashes. His hair was dark and wavy, curling around his ears and nape, and brushing his forehead in layers of silky chocolate and midnight.

Last were his lips, full and crimson, so red in fact, that you thought for a moment he was wearing lipstick.

You realized quickly enough that they were stained, tainted with a dark red blood.

It was almost as if he knew you were done looking, and his eyes opened, slowly.

“Now that you’re done ogling, I’m curious as to why you’re in my house.” He said simply, voice velvety.

You swallowed, disregarding his comment despite the flush rising underneath your collar. “Y-your father sent me, upon the request for a companion on your behalf.”

His lips curled into a smirk, but utter surprise was laced in his features, “You?”

You breathed out, and kept your eyes trained on him, “I-I’m sorry if I’m not what you expected.”

Then suddenly, his face was turned to yours, and he propped himself up on his arm, “I do not care who he sent. I’m just appalled that he has gotten so desperate that he actually made the request.” He sighed, eyes sparkling, “The bastard practically begged me to agree to whatever useless scheme he came up with.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but you didn’t know how to respond. His hard gaze was very uncomfortable. It was as if he was dissecting every piece of you with just his eyes, stripping away your clothes and skin and bone until there was nothing left.

He sat up fully, and his eyes darkened, casting another wave of coldness through your body.

“But now I’m curious about you, my dear. I didn’t think anyone would actually be stupid enough to apply for this job.” He tilted his head, dark locks brushing over his sharp eyebrows, “What are you getting in return for staying here with me?” He stood up, and you fought the urge to run away, to get the hell out of this place and as far away from this man as possible.

But it seemed your feet were glued to the floor, anyway.

He started to walk towards you, slinking along the wooden floor, eyes trained on your form, “Why would a weak little girl like you agree to stay in an old, creepy mansion with a vampire?”

You were frozen, and you were sure he could see the way your hands were trembling.

He stopped just a few feet away, “The fact that you haven’t run screaming yet is intriguing.” His eyes burned into yours, “So I wonder, how desperate are you?”

You breathed out, “I-I’m—“

He narrowed his eyes, “Don’t tell me you’re some criminal on the run searching for refuge. You look much too innocent for that, my dear.”

You bristled.

His voice dropped, “Tell me. Tell me what you are getting in return to stay with me.”

You closed your eyes, “Medical care for my sister.”

The vampire did not expect that. No, he did not expect that at all.

His lips moved into a smirk, “A little sister I bet, hm? A sweet little girl whose life is being taken much too early, a life you wish to save, so, so desperately.”

You looked down at the ground. Anger bubbling in you at his mocking tone, which had poison twisted in it, “She’s sick, and her treatment is very expensive. I will do whatever it takes to save her.”

He laughed, but it was nothing but unkind, “How valiant of you! I’m sure she’s so excited that you’ve decided to come here and stay with me.”

You started to panic, “S-she doesn’t know that I’m here.”

The vampire smiled, eyes bright in the most horrifying way. “Oh? Oh no.” He walked around you in slow, measured steps, “I’m guessing my father made staying with me sound pretty easy, hm? Companion. That word makes me sick. The human world has made my father weaker.”

You breathed out, gathering the little courage you had left, “He’s worried about your isolation from the world. He says you resent him, he just wants to prepare you for—”

Suddenly he laughed, almost manically, clutching his chest, “You dumb, stupid girl.” He glanced back at you, eyes tinged red, “My father doesn’t care about me, he never has, and never will. I’ll be the heir whether I’m prepared or not.” He clucked his tongue, “And the idea of getting some human girl to magically pull me into the world I despise is laughable.”

He moved closer, leaning forwards so his face met yours, “You’ve made a mistake coming here, even if he does give you medicine for your sister. You’re about as useless to me as a dull knife, and as breakable as glass.” Your breath hitched as he moved closer, closer, lips pressed to your ear.

“You’ve sold your soul to me and become nothing but a bag of blood.”

And with that, he turned away and slinked into his house, leaving you alone.

And just like that, doubt began to pool in your skull, and you felt numb once again. So you sank to the floor and cried silently, desperately, his words echoing again and again in your head.

Let me know if you’d like to be added to my tagged list so you don’t miss the next chapter! ♥

[matazz]

entries

diary entries of roy endoza

here’s some journal entries of roy endoza that i wrote for the duration of the campaign. for the most part, i kinda wrote these in my twitter drafts just to write down roy’s thoughts. sometimes to remember events that happened, and sometimes just to vent out roy’s feelings to myself. i ended up saving these on a document for safe keeping and i’m glad i wrote these.

‪entry 47‬

‪i miss milo so much. his laugh, his eyes, his smile. i would do anything to have that back.‬ ‪i know its my fault he’s gone. its only been a few months, but i’ll fix that; all of it. no matter how long it takes, no matter what happens. i’ll find some way to do it.‬ ‪entry 53‬ ‪i’ve retrieved a letter from a dream telling me to visit latham and retrieve a key. i’m curious, so i’ll check it eventually. it was definitely odd.‬ ‪entry 55‬ ‪i met a young boy. his name is fox. he’s some sort of shapeshifter. he’s quiet, but his presence is nice company. he also received a similar letter to mine. i have a feeling we’ll be travelling for a while.‬ ‪entry 62‬ ‪we retrieved the key & met some other ppl with letters too. we’re heading to a trinket store back in origin now. i dont wish for them to know of my life so i’ve found a way to steer them as far from possible to finding out about myself. i’ll probably visit ma too.‬ ‪entry 63‬ ‪an elf woman named leera attacked us after i told her i wasnt going to give her this key. i dont like her. she seemed very cocky.‬ ‪entry 65‬ ‪delilah is kind.. i feel like i’m able to trust her. i asked her a question about my goals, vaguely, and it turns out that ayce asked a similar question. based on the message in his later i get the feeling he’s undead.‬ ‪entry 66‬ ‪i told ayce the biggest con in all of history.. but i confirmed he’s undead. i have more hope in my goals now that i know its possible. he hugged me bc he thinks we’re similar. i dont usually allow people to do that but i’m sad for him. i wish i could ask more about him. ‬‪entry 69‬ ‪i’m getting closer to ayce, unexpectedly, but good for me. i need his information.‬ ‪he talks to me a lot about his life; i think he’s become dependent on me which is easy for me. its hard for him to see i’m using him when i lie to his face.‬ ‪entry 72‬ ‪we’re travelling to copper coast now for another key. if it werent for ayce, i wouldnt see any other reason for me to come. fox is still around, but i feel like he's doing his own thing. the other two arent big presences for me to care about.‬ ‪entry 73‬ ‪atlas is a werewolf? i didnt think those were real. this group keeps getting stranger. first a shapeshifter, second an actual living zombie, third a werewolf.‬ ‪ive continued my lie to the rest of them. they all seem to have believed me, strangely enough‬ ‪entry 74‬ ‪copper coast was very pleasant. i wish to come back someday.‬ ‪entry 88‬ ‪this trip to clandesteine has been a disaster.. what the honest fuck‬ just happened ‪entry 90‬ ‪fox told everybody about himself, finally. i feel this huge sense of pride?? i’m very proud of him. i dont understand why i feel so attached to him but i adore him so much‬ ‪entry 92‬ ‪((incoherent scribbles, kinda like “vsdjfsasifwnqkosdkv”)) i think i accidentally implied to ayce that i love him romantically and i think he loves me too... i’m freaking out and i dont know how to react... i think he thinks i’m cool and romantic but i didnt mean to be. ‪entry 93‬ in all honesty, i just wanted to tell him he needs to be more cautious of me. a part of me wishes he could figure it out himself so i dont have to tell him. ‪seriously! i dont know how i did that! i do love and adore him too but i feel like shit.. i dont deserve him, especially considering who i am. on the other hand, i hope he never finds out the truth about me.‬ ‪entry 94‬ ‪oh my god. atlas killed a man and ayce and fox proceeded to tell the guards. i feel sick. i’m currently at home but if they say my name at witness testimony i’m royally fucked. i dont know. i might just run for it and live in myr’s peak. maybe no one will find me.‬ ‪entry 95‬ ‪the group managed to get bailed out using ty’s name. benefits of being friends with rich people?‬ ‪fox found my poster though, so he saved my name during eyewitness testimony. i told him the truth. its been the first time i told someone how i really felt. he wants me to tell ayce but hes the last person i can tell. ‪entry 97‬ ‪we’re in lunarden! it feels nostalgic to be back.

i want to go back to every place i miss. i took ayce to that me and nori used to go to back in high school. i think shes currently performing in solardome? i miss her‬ entry 97.2 ‪i came up with a few different ways to complete my goal. i have a few more probing questions, but i will have to ask later. i think i’m getting closer to the answers‬ entry ‪97.3‬ ((scribbled out)) ‪i havent had sex in a while. i’ve wondered this before but realized it was an inappropriate question to ask. i wonder if ayce’s dick works? it probably doesnt. this is so sad. i dont know how i’m going to fuck him if thats true.. yikes‬ ‪entry 98‬ ‪i’m planning to get completely smashed once we get to solardome. i feel like i deserve it.. ive been pretty stressed and havent got laid. i’m crying remembering that ayce might not even be an option.‬ ‪entry 98.2 ((lost)) ‪i love ayce so much, and its confusing. am i just sexually frustrated? am i just lonely? am i just sad? i feel guilty because it tears me apart. im confused because i love milo still, too. i know i should tell him the truth, its whats right but i know he’ll hate me. i dont know what to do. (extra note inbetween the pages, torn out: to mom. i love you venhfrhdy mcuh. thank you fir everhything. yes. roy.) entry 98.3 what happens if i succeed? i hope ayce doesnt kill me. entry 100 ‪good morning. ayce & i are officially dating. were in solardome atm; i dont remember much of last night but i remember thinking he‘s beautiful. is it wrong to fall for him?‬ ‪entry 101‬ ‪good evening. i saw ms winters. she was undead, just like ayce. she died a year ago. her soul was lost though. i killed what remained of her undead corpse. i assume she was trying to remain in this world.. i’m scared that this will happen to him too. maybe ill have to do the same to him. entry 101.2 i hope ayce's soul is able to sustain in his body for longer. i cant afford to lose him. entry 101.3 ‪the blackness on my fingers has risen up more than it has before. its almost hard to write with my hands anymore. i assume its bc the gods know what i'm doing & are against it, so they're trying to give me more recoil than usual. but the last time i killed an undead corpse was in my house 6 months ago, and i promise that the last time i will use it is when i bring milo back. (torn note inbetween the pages: hi ayce. its unrealistic you'll ever find this but there's some things i want to say. back when we first met, i lied to you as a reflex when you asked me why i'm dealing with necromancy. to be honest, i could kind of gather you were undead, but i still lied anyway. my story is personal, its hard for me to be honest. i know i'm an idiot, and i'm sorry i used you. to be truthful, i still am a horrible person and for the entirety of our relationship i've already known that i was using you and i've felt so guilty about that. my feelings are complicated, but i've never lied when i said i loved you, and i still do; but i still want to bring milo back. i made a mistake and i want to fix that. the truth is that i still love him too. i know you deserve better. i'm sorry about lying to you. roy) entry 102 a dragon made us experience our dreams and nightmares. jade's scared of blindness and bugs. a valid fear, in a way. and she was dreaming of doing shows. i think it was supposed to display a feeling of happiness and joy, but it was just spooky since we all experienced her dreams with no sound. i never realized how scary it was to be deaf until i experienced it. atlas' was morbid. people were dying and there was so much gore. then there were people saying they owned him. i knew he was a bad person but it was scary to see all of that again. he dreamt of a workshop with a girl and a young boy. it seemed sweet, with a tinge of nostalgia. i would have never expected him to have dreams. he just seems like a horrible person with no sympathy to me, but i guess he has feelings. i still think he should go to jail, but i feel like he'll just try to kill me if i say anything instead. fox's was sad. we got thrown into a void

of empty space where we were surrounded only by dopplegangers and a vaguely humanoid figure. he seemed so lonely and upset. he's scared of being forgotten by us and that made me so sad. i adore him, and he's grown a lot since we first met. i gave him a hug when we went into his dream sequence. i hope he knows i will never forget him. his dream was sweet. he just wants to save people and hang out with us still. i think he'll go far, and i would love to be there for him still when all of this is over.c (the rest of the pages with entry 102 are torn out) when i saw milo in the old house again just being his happy lovely self i felt miserable and happy at the same time. i love him so much, and i knew i missed him already but seeing him again just made me feel so much love for him all over again. it just makes me miss him more. it's hard not to cry thinking about what i've done to him. i wish he could come back. ayce's was hard to watch. i witnessed myrkul force ayce to choose between killing me and quri. ayce cried as he couldn't make up his mind, and then i watched as i fell into a void. i felt sick and i wanted to puke. i thought ayce found out about me. i thought he knew that i was using him for necromancy, but when i asked him about it, he told me that he thought i killed him with quri. i... personally don't have any reason to ever kill him so that was a bit sickening to think of. i dont ever want to kill anyone. i dont even have anyone i hate enough to want to murder. the only person i hate enough to want to kill is me. i know based on what i said before i guess it might have seemed that bad; but haha... i would never ever want to do that. putting people down at hospital was rough. god, putting ms winters down was rough and she was already dead. i love him, but it's probably better if we end the relationship and just stay as friends? he's already witnessed me still loving milo, and he thinks i murdered him... i'll try to clear up his misunderstanding, but it'll be hard to without giving more of myself away. this relationship has so many problems. entry 103 a new discovery. the world isn't flat? the god's are using their powers to “lock off” the rest of the world. apparently sanctuary is only a small part of the world. that was a really weird discovery to find out? it's kind of hard to believe, but at the same time, not. apparently they keys we've been collecting hold the respective power of the gods, and they're used to “open” the gateway. i have no idea what that means. apparently beshaba wants to use our keys to do exactly that. and also they can kill the god's? entry 112 when we came back to lunarden we discovered that delilah and allen were kidnapped by atlas’ syndicate. i knew atlas was trouble. i hate having to associate with him. we’re going to save them yet it makes me nervous. entry 114 i feel like i almost died in there. we saved the others and no one was hurt though. we’re going to trip back to lunarden and then travel through the travel gates back to origin to try avoid people. allen mentioned something about strange readings. i have a feeling i know what it is. i’m going to ask lathandar questions. entry 115 nvm we encountered leera. this group genuinely scares me. I’m travelling with people who are down with murder. i should seperate. she uncovered my posters to them and i want to die. she also mentioned the last key at a ball. i need to bounce. lathandar also confirmed my suspicions last night. entry 116 fox left before i could. i feel bad. like maybe it was my fault. i miss him. we have to continue though. entry 117 its so hard to find a bag of holding. i just want to have this spirit stone around without having it in the open. entry 118 we’re in origin now and delilah let me rent out her bag of holding. an absolute kind soul. we bought tickets to the ball. so expensive. i wish i didnt do that. entry 123 i’ve done so much in preperation of whats to come. Soon. i hope it works. i’m going to travel to solardome and investigate those readings. entry 124 suspicions

confirmed. miss winters is alive. she captured my biological father. a strange way to meet him. i cant see him as my father. i told her about the key, and we’re going to rearrange our circle. we’ll still use the spirit stones, just as a backup. i’m scared. i’m terrified. i dont know if it will work and i dont know what will happen if it does. i know the gods will be mad but i’ll deal with the consequences when it happens. i’m sure i won’t be a champion anymore. we’re doing this on friday evening, which means i’m no longer attending the gala. they don’t need my assistance anyway.

[notbecauseofvictories]

but could you tell us exactly how crazy it was that k2 fell in love with cassian andor

}public String getNaiveBayesPrediction(){    Collections.sort(predictions, new Comparator>() {        public int compare(Pair o1, Pair o2) {            return o2.getValue().compareTo(o1.getValue());        }    });    return this.predictions.get(0).getKey()—

“Kay?” Cassian mumbles, and K-2SO pauses in mid-classifier. If he were at all inclined to poetry, he would think of it like a unraveled skein of silver thread in his hands, strung between his digits like a cat’s cradle. But he is not inclined to poetry, so it does not matter.

“Yes, Cassian?” K-2SO says, turning his volume down very low, just above the threshold of human hearing. (He is not sure the root motivator of that, his voice so quiet. The likelihood of being overheard, even at an ordinary decibel of speech, is negligible, and—)

“What’s the probability of something killing me in my sleep?” 

It takes K-2SO a moment to abbreviate to significant figures. “Five point three two percent, Cassian.”

“Hm. That seems low.”

K-2SO does not blink, because he has no cornea or conjunctiva, or really eyes, only visual receptors built in a facsimile of eyes, because he was constructed by humanoids and they found it unsettling when animate things didn’t have eyes. “Well,” he finally says, after sorting through a number of potential responses. “I am here. That reduces the likelihood of a surprise attack by eighteen-point two percent, which in turn—”

Cassian is making a low, rumbling noise that K-2SO finally translates as laughter. “That’s right,” Cassian says, patting the articulation K-2SO’s leg, where K-2SO would have a knee, if K-2SO had things like knees, or eyes, or poetry. “You’re going to keep me safe.”

Cassian falls asleep with his hand there, just above the hinge joint of K-2SO’s leg. It is very small, comparatively—smaller than planets and starships, and smaller even than K-2SO’s prehensile attachments. More fragile. (There are still healing bruises there, on Cassian’s knuckles, and where his thumb had been dislocated, an angry burst of mottled yellow-purple. It is curious to K-2SO, how very wet and soft Cassian is inside, and yet how much more it takes to kill him than it would to switch off K-2SO.)

K-2SO takes up thread of the classifier again, and goes on spinning it between his digits, like a cat’s cradle, like a web. He does not think of how small Cassian Andor’s hand is, or what it would look like, caught in so much silver thread.

.

“So how did you get here?” Private Andor asked, tossing little bits of jurga fruit rind over the edge of the walkway. (He is very young, in this memory-mapped file, just over the rawboned edge of youth into manhood, a beard not-quite coming in, more brashness than republican feeling. But then K-2SO is young too, operating within his original parameters with no auditory tics or jury-rigged .exe files.) 

A piece of jurga fruit must fall on General Draven below, because they watched him startle, ruffling his hair with a yelp; Private Andor grinned. When his eyes returned to K-2SO, they were bright-dark and dancing. “Good Imperial droid like you, in a dirty rebel base like this—must be all hells of a story.”

“My temporary memory banks were wiped, as per protocol,” K-2SO informed Private Andor. (Crisply—but there was no emotional content to it, not yet.) “I have no readable files predating my arrival at the Yavin IV base.”

Private Andor blinked, and K-2SO interpreted this correctly as ‘confusion’.

“I do not know how I got here,” K-2SO said, careful to enunciate each syllable.

Cassian sobered at that. His fingers dug into the softness of the jurga fruit, and the juice ran down his hand. “Me too,” he said after a long moment, and there was something cold, heavy and hopeless in his voice. “Not sure how I got here either.”

.

The most played file on K-2SO’s hard drives is a holo—Cassian leaning over some table, a bar at a cantina, it’s not terribly clear, but the audio is perfect quality, Cassian’s hazy blue mouth moving, saying, my friend, kay-two—

The file has been opened so many times it is starting to decay. It stutters sometimes, my friend, my friend, my friend,��on a loop, and Cassian’s smile.

.

K-2SO’s indices have grown thorny, knotted—less a linear access and more a meandering path, a hedge maze, as indirect and unreliable as a biological neural network. (K-2SO knows, he’s seen the inside of a human skull. That’s your central processing unit? he demanded of Cassian, who had grimaced, and not looked at the body at all. But K-2SO had bent down, and touched the pinkish blob. His digits sank into it like crash foam. It’s so soft, K-2SO said wonderingly. Is yours that soft?

Stop it, Cassian had snapped, and something in the the tone of his voice bypassed layers of rebel reprogramming and kickstarted K-2SO’s obedience module; his appendage jerked away, and he straightened up. 

For a moment, there was only silence. Sorry, Cassian had finally said. Sorry, just—don’t touch the dead. They’ve earned their rest.

K-2SO thought to inform Cassian that a man with his skull blasted open was beyond waking, but something indefinable had stopped him. He has not tried to disturb the dead again.)

But that isn’t the point—maybe an illustration. His search function wanders more and more, alighting on the furthest reaches of Boolean logic, or sometimes pure randomness. Discussion of weapons shipments yields the sense-memory of Cassian dissembling a blaster, quick and certain, the way the light had fallen on his shoulders. ‘Death’ is a deadlock, because humans don’t come with backup drives; K-2SO has stood beside Cassian at the memorials for dead soldiers, dead pilots, dead planets, he has wondered at the biologics’ messy grief—but threads and deadlock are asynchronous things, and he cannot run that process while Cassian is there, fragile, always bruised or healing from bruises.

“I am distracted,” K-2SO says, when the other droids ask him to uplink with them. He leaves the swarm of astromechs in his wake, confused, returning ERROR when they search ‘distracted.’

public class Cassian {

  public static void main(String args[]) {      String Str = new String(“Love”);      System.out.print(“Found Index :” );      System.out.println(Str.indexOf( ‘o’ ));   }}

Found Index : startled laugh, with the light in his eyes; squinting up at, his mouth shaping kay kay kay like a benediction as if machines could be blessed, but maybe they can, because there is cassian andor, smiling and squinting, and—

Found Index: -1

.

(A memory file, long deleted:

Cassian, his breathing panicked-quick and half sobbing, muttering, “Get it off get it off  get it off” as he scours at his hands, his arms, with a bloody rag. His face, a death’s mask of horror, and faint blood, streaked across his skin. “I—” he chokes. “I…”

K-2SO prying the rag from his hands, and wringing it out over the sink. “Hold still,” K-2SO instructs in a neutral, mechanistic voice, and Cassian does; like a droid given a command he goes still, his eyes screwed shut and his mouth thinned, pinched and white. His nostrils flare when he breathes.

He is very ugly. He is very beautiful. (He is neither, he is just Cassian.)

At the first touch of the rag, his mouth opens a little, like a sob, but there is no noise. K-2SO lifts his other arm, and it comes up to cradle Cassian’s shoulders. to keep him upright.

K-2SO is very gentle, wiping the blood from Cassian’s cheek, his arms, the ugly streak across his jaw. “There,” K-2SO finally says when it’s done, rinsing out the rag with warm, clean water. “It’s off. It’s gone.”

Cassian splays his hand against K-2SO’s back plate, breathes out in a shaky rush. It is enough.)

.

The first thing K-2SO’s sensory receptors process is Cassian, slouched over where he leans against the wall, chewing on the corner of his thumb. 

“There is a thirty-eight point two percent likelihood that will get infected,” K-2SO states, and Cassian’s face lights up. (That is a metaphorical phrase, but it does look like that, like a light has switched on, and shines only for Cassian’s face, unforgiving and luminous as a naked bulb.) Cassian ducks his head and laughs, softly, laying his hand on K-2SO’s chestplate. The bitten thumb bleeds a little, by accident.

“Glad to have you return to us, friend,” Cassian says quietly.

“My backups will outlive your grandchildren,” K-2SO grumbles, just to make Cassian laugh again. Just to watch that ugly-bright thing, burning.

.

int dialogButton = JOptionPane.YES_NO_OPTION;int dialogResult = JOptionPane.showConfirmDialog(this, “Restarting this system will dump all acquired classifier and controller heuristics. Would you like to restart the system?”, “WARNING”, dialogButton);if(dialogResult == 0) {        System.out.println(“Yes option”);} else {        System.out.println(“No Option”);}

Cassian refers to it as ‘reprogramming’ because he doesn’t like the word ‘broken.’ When K-2SO says it anyway, Cassian flinches like it pains him, even though K-2SO’s speech is well below 85 decibels and in no danger of damaging the human tympanic membrane.

“Don’t say that,” Cassian says, and his knuckles are white. He is staring fixedly out the viewport, at the endless whirl of hyperspace. “Don’t—you were reprogrammed. You’re not broken, you’re fine.”

But K-2SO was programmed and reprogrammed before, by the Imperial technicians he supposes were his origin. (‘Born’ isn’t the right word, any more than ‘reprogrammed’ is. But he acknowledges that he must come from somewhere, and the badge on his shoulder proves him correct.) Every software update and integration of new protocols was a reprogramming, if K-2SO was being technical, and he saw no reason not to be.

What Cassian did was break him. 

Cassian had moved through K-2SO’s perfectly-ordered programming and wrapped it around himself, breaking code and reforming it again, building layers of disjointed angles, curves, where there were once precise fractals. K-2SO knows—empirically—that the luster of a well-ordered crystal lattice is greater than any organic matter. It does not change the fact that Cassian has taken his functioning and warped it until it shone.

He is broken, he is all brokenness, wholly changed and remade from scattered parts, in a way that goes beyond reprogramming. It is new software installed in him, all his routines and subroutines re-routed. He is new. He is so new.

Sometimes, when they are away on missions, Cassian sleeps with his ear pressed to K-2SO’s chest plate. He says he likes the faint whir of K-2SO’s fans, the hum of the processor, reassurance he is not alone.

“I like your breathing,” K-2SO says softly, once it has evened out, dragging Cassian into sleep. (He looks different this way, something like the boy who once asked him how did we get here, but K-2SO knows him too.) “I like your breathing because it means I am not alone.”

Cassian sleeps. K-2SO listens to his breathing and calculates naive Bayes classifiers, threading all that silver string through his digits, Cassian’s hands, winding them both together in so much bright code.

.

public class GoodbyeCassian{ public static void main(String args[]){     System.out.println(“goodbye. I am sorry I could not keep you safe.”);

[actutrends]

In advertising, the ‘gamer’ demographic is useless

In marketing and advertising, knowing who your audience is, how they’re changing, and how best to reach them is the job. That’s the work, and it’s no different when you’re marketing to gamers. But in marketing, there’s been a perception that we’ve figured out that audience — gamers like what they like and it’s not going to change.

The claim that “gamers are dead” famously isn’t a new one, but it’s really only existed in the context of cultural critique up to this point. But as an advertising creative at an indie agency and someone who has more combined hours in Team Fortress 2 and Overwatch than most people have at their current jobs — I have to say that it’s true.

Gamers — as a generic, singular, targetable group — are dead, and the ad industry is coping with the loss.

The gamer demographic has widened

To call gamers dead is slightly hyperbolic, in the same way that any headline saying millennials are killing whichever industry is hyperbolic. But there is a kernel of truth to both, in that the culture at large is changing to such a degree as to render our previous beliefs obsolete.

What our industry believed about the gaming population, from the demographics they encompass to what drives their purchase behaviors to their more abstract beliefs about the medium (Are games art? Should they be political? Is releasing on one digital storefront instead of another some sort of anti-consumer practice?) are being disproven constantly.

So, we’re adjusting. Marketers have been abandoning gamers as a monolithic audience and instead are embracing the nuances that come with an ever-growing and increasingly diverse population.

We know that more people than ever before play video games, with current statistics showing around three-out-of-four Americans indulging in them. And the demographics of these people stretch beyond the typical gamer stereotype in just about every possible way, encompassing people of any and all races, sexes, genders, ages, income brackets, living situations, behaviors, and beliefs.

As time goes on, more and more factors are driving this gaming proliferation. The physical barriers to entry are eroding, as we’ve gone from needing a high-end PC or game console to having the most popular shooters and fighting games on mobile devices — and in the very near future to needing no dedicated hardware whatsoever. Add to that the natural generational shift, where millennials and Gen Z have grown up with video games as a medium just as culturally dominant as television was for their parents (analogous to the changes in how Americans engaged with television in the 1950s versus the 1980s). Video games have escaped that niche media status that continues to hold back things like comic books, whose stereotypical audience is much more apt than with games.

There’s no single word for people who watch movies

To butcher a quote from The Incredibles, “When everybody is a gamer, nobody is a gamer.” That is to say, gaming has become so ubiquitous in American life (especially to younger generations) that the label of “gamer” isn’t useful anymore. We don’t have any use for a specific word that describes people who watch movies or listen to music or eat tacos. All of these (tacos and gaming included) are major parts of culture and life — but not defining parts of that life.

But that’s just part of it. The label of “gamer” is attached to an audience that isn’t just large, but broad, as well, with a variety of niches and subcultures that all intersect in various ways. Even the casual-to-hardcore spectrum is fairly useless in discerning distinct audiences, because casual and hardcore gamers alike will have wildly different individual habits, attitudes, and beliefs tied to their preferences in genre, hardware, content creators, and beyond. All of these influence the subgroups these people fall into, and these subgroups carry their own incredibly distinct cultures, the markers of which can be incomprehensible to outsiders even if they’re hardcore gamers themselves.

Often, brands will try to tap the gaming audience by attempting to be more authentic and “speak their language.” But that’s the issue: There’s no “their language,” because there isn’t a “they” anymore. Sure, having your finger on the pulse of gaming in general could tell you why the most-watched live gaming event on Twitch this year was a Fortnite stream displaying absolutely nothing as fans awaited the game’s biggest update since launch. But unless you’re attuned to the history, rivalries, and personalities of a niche gaming population like the fighting game community, you’d never know why this Street Fighter IV match from EVO 2015 was so incredibly special and emotional — a story some 20 years in the making by one Alex Valle (who I had the pleasure of getting handed a loss by at Combo Breaker 2018).

But it’s exactly that kind of emotional connection and cultural commonality that stays with people long-term and drives the purchase behaviors that brands so desperately seek.

Marketing to gamers doesn’t move the needle

The point is that when it comes to brands marketing themselves to these folks, a blanket approach to “gamers” isn’t the best one. For the most part, advertising to gamers writ large isn’t going to move the needle, and can even result in a negative response if a brand comes off as trying to visibly market to them, as younger generations who make up the increasing majority of gamers have a much different relationship with ads than others. Purely digital marketing efforts also leave much to be desired for gaming audiences, as most ad marketplaces don’t offer much nuance in audience data with regards to gaming behavior, rather grouping audiences based on the binary of “do you play any games whatsoever?”

That said, I don’t expect us to stop seeing first-person shooter characters on soda cans or GAMERS RISE UP-style ads any time soon. But because gaming is an increasingly endemic cultural medium, the brands that are going to best capture and keep that audience are going to be the ones who can establish meaningful cultural connections and up their share of culture.

Lately, the gold standard among well-known consumer brands for this has been KFC. Though we’d expect nothing less from the chain that was able to convince a whole country to eat fried chicken every Christmas, the Colonel has been able to capture attention across several cultural lines with some of the most out-there marketing stunts a fast food chain has ever put together. The most recent attention-grabber, a Colonel Sanders dating sim, not only garnered a huge number of headlines for the chain, but also demonstrated a much more nuanced understanding and cultural connection to niche gaming audiences in a way that few big-tent brands ever do.

All this leaves brands with two options to successfully message and tap gaming audiences (i.e. three-quarters of Americans): Study all of these super-specific niche groups, how they cross over and interact with each other, and how to sell them without pissing them off, or they can find people that already do. Whether it’s in the form of partner agencies, influencers, or creating in-house teams, it could be the difference between crossover success and talking to a stereotype that barely exists.

Taylor Daine is a copywriter at Bradley and Montgomery (BaM), an independent creative agency that has worked with brands that include JPMorgan Chase, Microsoft, Xbox, and more. 

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