#killer instinct by koqabear | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

koqabear · 1 year ago

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HELLOOOO i am back with my (hopefully) long awaited analysis/review!! i don't know what switch flipped in my brain last night but i woke up this morning with such an intense Yearning to read killer instinct after years an entire week and so... i did! i almost want to scold myself for how long it took me to finally read because why on earth was i depriving myself of yet another masterpiece?? literally as i was reading this i thought about how this could be just like that wattpad one direction fanfic that got turned into a movie with how good this is like you don't even get it...

i just finished reading so my brain is kind of all over the place huhu i wrote in my notes again because there's so much i want to touch on but nothing that i wrote is really coherent but i'm going to try my very best to write everything in a way that makes Sense. i think i might just spend an entire hour and a half, or even more, (edit: it took me even more, and not because i was typing but i because i got distracted) just trying to get through everything i want to talk about though because holy shit... there's literally just so much; i think i went straight into my notes just during the first scene where beomgyu and taehyun are trash talking each other just before their first ever fight, and i just couldn't stop thinking about that initial teaser warning about a "healthy dose of homosexual tension" because literally, the first note i wrote down was GOD THIS PLACE REEKS!! (read in the voice of that blue shark from spongebob that's like 'oh brother, this guy stinks!') i love it ofmmgmgng the cockiness. The undertones of homosexuality. Chef's kiss; in response to:

“If anything, I should be the one worried for you,” Taehyun mutters, a fake look of sympathy crossing his face at the thought, his voice patronizing as he continues, “I wouldn’t wanna ruin your pretty face.”

And then the way it just Kept Going when taehyun shows up at beomgyu's mom's restaurant and they're literally bickering at the counter like they're about to start fighting in the middle of said restaurant... you're crazy but i'm crazier because i was absolutely living for every second of it!

okay, in an effort to make this all Make Sense i'm just going to start off by saying i think one of my favorite parts of my whole experience with reading killer instinct was that it was written as if you were to read the alt text to an entire kdrama... which, in hindsight, i guess is kind of what literature for considering some kdramas are based off webtoons or some movies are live adaptations of books? lol? i don't know how to better explain this idea because it already makes sense in my head but i guess i really like the way everything flows so naturally into different scenes regardless of whether there was a cut or not and how you vividly depict the settings of scenes in a realistic way that it feels like the words i'm reading are happening around me or they're something i can easily visualize as if the setting was actually in front of me in the form of a show or movie; and this is something i really enjoy seeing... reading? when i read because i think it's just so so important that, as a reader, i can picture exactly what and where something is going on because not only does it add to the experience of reading, but it also i guess shows (?) in a way, what the writer was imagining as they were reading and... that's important! i feel like a lot of people kind of don't really pay attention to or focus on adding the details to describe the setting or atmosphere of where their story is happening and it's kind of just left up to everyone else's personal interpretation and imagination through word choice, dialogue, and whatnot. okay, so ig little tldr; i really like colorful descriptions! i can immerse myself better that way!

anyways back to the kdrama thing, the general idea of the plot i was getting in the beginning (i was still in that crazy bamtori headspace so my take was still very much centered around him and his existence... sorry <3) was like... it's supposed to trick viewers into thinking they know the obvious which is that the story is centered around beomgyu who's the average mischievous male "lead" — except he's not actually the male lead and they just want you to think he is — who is constantly getting himself into trouble and worrying his best friend, who just so happens to work at his mom's restaurant, sick because she has to go drag him out almost every time and then boom! here comes taehyun, and everything you thought you knew about what you were watching is chucked straight out the window because surprise! the male lead is actually the second one who you just met and not the first one you were suspecting the entire time.

also, kind of in addition to that, i kept getting like... mad at beomgyu lmfao? like mc was taking the words right out of my mouth!

“I asked for your help— three hours ago. Yet you still chose to be a brat and go back upstairs the moment your mother pitied you. You—“ cutting yourself off, you sigh, shaking your head before you’re picking the wet towel back off, turning your back to him, “I hope you realize how much she spoils you.”

possibly the realest thing mc could have ever said i was getting Real Life Angry because most of the time momma's boy boys (? words) are can be so evil like they'll KNOW they're in the wrong too for taking advantage of their mom's kindness like that too and as i kept reading i would just get more and more angry at the shit beomgyu would say like the whole:

“You know, for a mere worker, you sure are involved in our personal lives.” Beomgyu’s words are hissed out and sting like acid as your eyes widen, gritting your teeth together as you watch Beomgyu sit back in realization— as though he didn’t know what he said until now.

SOLFHJUSHGJIDURGH... i don't even think you understand how bad this triggered me, like i swear to god when i tell you i have never wanted to jump through a screen and hit a man so badly in my entire life... i genuinely wanted a go at him. you made it so hard to like him at all and be the crazy bamtori i am (this had to be on purposefudhughdrg) i genuinely hated him and before i started reading, i saw another anon send an ask about focusing on his character so i was like omg~ but noo. i literally wrote a note under this part saying, 'this man needs to die and go to hell. Mere worker.... MC IS HELPING YOUR MOM AND YOU LIVE. SHE GOES TO YOUR STUPID UNDERGROHND ILLEGAL FIGHT CLUBS BC SHES STILL WORRIED ABOUT YOUR WELLBEING AND YOUUU.... The belittling is fucking crazy im gonna die of cardiac explosion like a sim if he keeps this shit up' so for the entire first third of the story i was like JIN LET ME AT HIM!!!! also side note, it's kind of funny (as in coincidental) too because the other day i saw these tweets where it was basically like 'i think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren't as forgiving as their wives' and one of the responses to that tweet was 'husbands lose their minds a little when they realize their wives aren't as forgiving as their mothers'. now.. beomgyu is neither a father or husband in killer instinct, but he IS (or at least i thought he was at first!) a little bitch, so the way that both statements basically touch on how as men realize there's less and less bullshit they can get away with as there's more women surrounding them, i thought it was crazy to actually... be able to see that dynamic between beomgyu's extremely forgiving mother and mc who acts as this "uptight" older sister (and taehyun's instigating after made me absolutely livid i wanted to bite his head off) who always has to get him out of trouble just made me think of that and i was like damn! in essence, i was once again reminded that i hate men and the patriarchy, BUT as i kept reading i realized there were actually a lot more layers (what did i expect really... like of course there was, it's not a koqabear fic if there isn't insane characterization!) slowly unraveling as we get to the part where more about mc gets revealed and by the time jay was introduced, i had to stop reading just to write down everything i wanted to tell you that i noticed and liked because... seriously just by adding half of the industry into this story allowed it to be so much more jam packed with characterization and layers; i think you did a really good job writing their personalities and back stories and then when applicable, incorporating both of those into their fighting styles with characters like beomgyu and jay for example.

The things he could do with the prize money were endless— he already had a few ideas in mind, thinking back to his hardworking mother and how much she struggled to raise him on her own while still managing her restaurant. Then he thought about you, of the hard times he gave you, knowing how much you feared him going through the same things you did, of turning to a life dependent on fighting and gambling.

i wanted to jump off a building. So bad. and like i said, by the time jay got introduced i had gotten a pretty good gist of everything and i just want to say i love love love how everyone is characterized so differently and how you made it a point to acknowledge so many things when it came down to writing their fighting style and why they do it. i'm genuinely amazed at how detailed and intricate the world building for this fic is. it's absolutely insane. even though there's cliches like the spoiled rotten momma's boy who's an absolute menace to society and says or does things that make you want to slap him silly and tell him, just like many characters in the story had, to just use his brain for once and think. and then the weak kid who's filled with so much rage and a burning desire to protect himself with, what started as self defense, but allows/gets manipulated into having it become an unhealthy way of coping with his trauma and the only way he knows how to express his anger as he becomes the very same bloodthirsty monster he used to fear all those years ago the moment he steps into the cage... it's actually brilliant idk! i think there's just a whole, completely different and deeper sentiment you can get by simply reading it instead of watching it. being able to have this sort of epiphany, whether it was something you intended on incorporating or my overanalyzing, i think my general point still stands that it takes an amazing and extremely talented writer to take something that's generally viewed as a cliche or an overdone trope to the point that it's boring and express it in a way that feels new and even refreshing to read and realize.

like i mentioned before, i think it's just as important that there's characters like mc who feel like they're entitled to stop someone from going down the same path they did and feel responsible when they still do even though in actuality it's not their fault or doing at all, as well as beomgyu's mom like. ugh. i love how despite knowing mc's (and yoongi's!) history with those clubs, given they met there, his mom never once blamed or accused her for beomgyu's constant returns to those clubs or even implied that she was a bad influence on him. even when she gets the phone call that her son's in icu with an infection from getting stabbed at one of those clubs, instead of scolding mc or berating yoongi, two champions of the very illegal underground fight club she had to take beomgyu out of as an adolescent and now see him lay in a hospital bed in critical condition because of his involvement there again... she was happy and relieved to see them and to the point she gave them big ol' bear hugs like T_T i just love the little side found family you incorporated because being able to read the scene which is, essentially, what leads mc to be taken under beomgyu's mom's wing and out of that bad place with something as simple as "and you? will you be alright here?" followed by “if you’re ever hungry, you can always stop by. On the house,” then realize that that very same kindness without judgement she was shown is something she still remembers and cherishes is so beautiful and heartwarming idk like i can't even be ashamed if this is just me overanalyzing and being corny because i ate that shit up! licked the plate clean! not an ounce of anger or judgement in that fictional woman's body... having his mom, be a mom was just kind of the icing on the cake because there was still a character like her who existed in the world you created despite all the chaos within it. also joy too omg even though her time was fairly short, it was still nice to have that just-happy-to-be-here and carefree bubbly personality thrown into the mix of what is already a serious matter like illegal underground fighting, gambling, the welfare of character's like beomgyu; his mom; and mc herself because... like you wrote, mc's only there and out of where she came from because of beomgyu's mom and with him in icu racking up hospital bills from being in critical condition and getting treatment for it, his mom would be subjected to pay for all of that and it doesn't just affect her, but it affects mc too. just knowing that there was so much on the line for them, how mc blames herself for not doing better to save him and the years she's been trying to steer him out of that direction; there was just a sense of realism i experience reading and it was to the point that as i was taking these notes of what to say, i realized that in a way joy's character could even be angering to some...? because there's just so many things at stake and despite the rigorous physically taxing training to make ends meet by putting Everything on the line into this one, extremely dangerous glimmer of hope, there's still someone like joy who can lessen the blow just by existing and being there. This was not at all supposed to be this long but fuck it we ball!

all seriousness aside, because holy shit why did i start making comparisons to the real world when i was just talking about characters and personalities, there were so many times i laughed while reading this because even though. the story's not at all meant to be comical it is like in the very beginning i had to take a step back because no way my babygirls taehyun, beomgyu, jin, TAEYONG, and jeno are all here? also the whole thing where jungkook and mc very Clearly have something going and putting it in a TAEHYUN fic is so sick and twisted!! you know he taehyun looks up to him jungkook! 😭😭😭 the part where they're kind of having a little rival moment had me giggling because like beomgyu, i also wanted taehyun's head on a saucer in the beginning because aside from instigating and being a bitch with an attitude (telling mc to keep her nose out of beomgyu's business) after just having taken a jab at beomgyu by checking him when he said that him and mc are like family i was just. LIKE THAT'S CRAZY!?#@?! the little warning about him being a bitch was so necessary because i got whiplash reading how he'd interact with beomgyu and mc. just a very insane man, but he was still my silly little sharkcat (this is also a crazy thing to say sorry); despite them all being connected to very much Illegal and Shady things you kind of perfectly portrayed what being a "newbie" really is because there's seasoned veterans like mc and yoongi, aaand then there's taegyu. the part where he can't stop looking at where the gun is concealed took me out so bad like this poor boy 😭 he just wanted to fight and win some money fair and square then next thing he knows he's being sent on a mission to get that money back because his sparring partner got set up and, on top of that, stabbed??? HIS ASS DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THAT? also the way this next part flows so naturally had me laughing a little like. I feel like zendaya with tom holland right now but hear me out you were funny on Accident while writing this?

“You know I have a club to run, right?” it’s clear you’ve given up as you mutter a yeah yeah, softly, pouting like a child to the older man, “I can’t have this place running while you’re training that poor kid to death.”

“My regimen has results.” you say defensively, glaring at Seokjin, who simply puts up his hands in defeat, unphased by your attitude as he glances back at Taehyun.

“He looks like he’s about to pass out.”

the pacing was perfect? so was the forced proximity. LET ME GET ON WITH THIS. okay, so back to the kdrama point i made earlier. that still stands! the late night deep conversations and life stories shared at a convenience store over a bottle of soju and cheap instant ramen despite the whole world wanting to fall apart right under your feet and the sky is willing itself not to come crashing down on you... that's something i love to see! honestly, i think by the time taehyun and mc started making progress...? in their relationship there was already so much i had to process, it was too much for my brain to handle and thoroughly analyze to comment on, so i just kind of blacked out and regained consciousness when there was that kiss of adrenaline from winning and taehyun not being given the chance to process any of it. Also making out in front of a hospital is crazy? in a good way though! still definitely not as crazy as like. literally everything else going on but aside from that i think the laaasst compliment i have is that. you're getting way too good at writing that little turning point where the tension between mc and the member just kind of Explodes everywhere. it was like gyu from camera shy possessed taehyun through the keyboard like. Sorry but the parallel between “How are you gonna make it up to me now?” and “I won just for you... Don't you think I deserve a reward for working so hard?” is crazy i'm sick to my tummysgjdjgdh. I need to be held after reading this – ml

HI!! When i tell you your review absolutely FLOORED me, you were so detailed and went above and beyond with your thoughts/analysis, i feel so appreciated right now i could cry :((( you’re fueling my ego right now, this is a bit dangerous…

as always, i go into detail under the cut ! if it all sounds insane i apologize bc i did indeed go insane a little!

-[Taegyu and the intense… tension]

ACKSNDKS NO BE HEAR ME OUT. killer instinct was three seconds away from looking like a taegyu fic from how much tension i kept adding 😭😭 when i took a step back from the scene i remembered thinking “holy shit the mc hasn’t even showed up yet” like,,, i had to fight for my life to make her character relevant once she showed up??? this could’ve ended up as a serious bromance if i hadn’t been more careful 😭

-[descriptions and storytelling hehe]

thank you sm for picking up on this omg <///3 i think this story is one where i was really inclined to make everything really detailed? i feel like in a setting and world that intense, the environment is rlly important to include bc it adds to the storytelling!! especially in the opening scene, something must’ve possessed me bc i was just super determined to set the mood properly dksbdkd

i really appreciate you pointing that out !!

-[i almost made gyu a love interest… (hides in shame)]

omg lemme just say, throughout the beginning of the fic i almost considered adding a sprinkle of unrequited feelings from Beomgyu for the mc, but i decided against it bc the idea of a “love triangle” in a story like this was straight up unnecessary; im so glad i did tho, because it allowed me to focus on a different dynamic i’ll get into in a bit!

-[turning ml agianst beomgyu ?! / abt gyu, the menace to society.]

HAHAHA UR SO REAL FOR THIS 😭 when i was thinking of how i would write the mc, i knew i had to give her a reason as to why she was such a “bitch” to beomgyu— and lemme tell you, i absolutely despise a mommas boy, specifically one like beomgyu. he’s very childish and spoiled (on the surface, at least) especially bc his mother treated him like royalty growing up. she only gave him the best and always coddled him bc she was all he had and she wanted to give him the best life she could. so as a result, she raised a very rotten kid 😭 naturally, when the mc appeared and began acting as the strong and cold authority figure beomgyu never had, he didn’t really know how to react; which leads to him saying shit he has no business saying and acting like a damn fool. he’s learning, though!

-[A small look into the mc’s past and how it affected her relationships with others.]

“…fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren't as forgiving…”

“…husbands lose their minds a little when they realize their wives aren't as forgiving…”

the way that both of those quotes had me in pieces. i think a big reason as to why i like the mc is bc of the relationships she’s made with the choi family and also bc of how she carries herself despite dealing with a lot of trauma. she’s a very strong and independent woman who refuses to take shit from anyone, especially men; i only briefly touch on her backstory bc i didn’t want to write anything triggering that didn’t really need to be written full-depth, but the mc doesn’t come from a loving family— at all. it’s the thing that led her to a life of crime in the first place, which is exactly why he became so protective of beomgyu; he has the one thing she’s only ever wanted, and that’s a loving parent that would go to the deepest pits of hell to rescue him. to me, adding the choi family was like granting the mc rest— which is why she was able to fit herself into their life so easily, and why she makes herself into a sister-figure that keeps beomgyu in line; just so she can prevent him from becoming another ruthless monster in the world.

-[me going insane over characterization]

again, thank you for pointing that out eee!!! one thing i always enjoy the most about writing is characterization! i genuinely find it fascinating to see how writers bring a character to life, so i find it very important to try and make my own characters interesting and layered 😭 i think my favorite part about having so many characters in killer instinct was the fact that i could add a deeper sense of life through the way they interacted with each other and the relationships they made! who they knew, whether they liked them, the way they acted and talked around/to them, it all aids in characterization ! it’s genuinely one of my favorite things about writing, so you bringing it up means a lot to me <3

-[wow, gyu’s all grown up.]

i think that by the time beomgyu decided to join in the fightx tournament, he really matured as both a son and a friend/family to the mc. sure, he had always used his reward money to help pay the expenses of the restaurant and rent, but it was only because it felt more like an obligation as a son to him— but as he grew older and became more involved in the underground fighting scene, he began to realize just how important his family was to him, even if it was too late to outwardly express it with confidence— even more so when the restaurant began struggling a bit and the mc had to overwork herself as a result. and yeah, he may have gotten a bit blinded and carried away by the prize money from fightx, but he only wanted to give back to the two people that raised him and never gave up on him, even when he grew to be a little bitch !

-[me rambling about fighting styles 😔]

not to keep geeking out abt my characters but i had soooo much fun writing everyone’s fighting styles— it really let their personalities shine through and it made me think about what each character was like on a deeper level. i think joy is one of my favorite (and more obvious) examples, but ya, choosing to do an mma au instead of simply boxing was the greatest decision ever :))

-[my thoughts on movie adaptations lol]

thank you so much, seriously omg :(((( i’m so glad that you think i gave these cliches justice haha, i honestly wondered if jays character was a bit… much..? but i do agree with the whole deeper sentiment through reading thing, because there’s just some things that can only be conveyed through words; i feel like that’s why i’ve found some movie adaptations a bit empty or lacking— because at the end of the day, i feel like even the smallest details and choice words really help elevate a character’s thoughts and emotions, but not everything can be expressed in a movie.

-[Ms. Choi is literally an angel idc]

Ms choi is both the sweetest and most emphatic character in that story <3 she’s an absolute sweetheart who, despite everything she’s gone through, has learned to always look on the bright side and not let the negativity get to her— after all, it wouldn’t be very good for beomgyu to grow up with a vindictive and resentful mother, right? in the end, everything about Ms Choi goes back to her son; which is why, during the scene where the mc and gyu first meet, Ms Choi is able to get a good grasp of the mc’s character— even more so when she opens herself up to visiting her restaurant to even working at it.

all that time of trust and growth only proved to Ms. Choi what she already knew of her (and yoongi, merely bc of the amount of time he spent glued to mc’s side while she worked) and that was the fact that deep inside, all she really longed for was the security and comfort of a good life, surrounded by loving people. and who was she to deny that from her ? <3

-[My weakness, the found family trope.]

if i had allowed myself to, i would’ve indulged in the whole found family aspect of this fic a lottt more. it’s genuinely one of my favorite tropes simply bc it destroys me every time, so the fact that you’re bringing it up is rlly satisfying to me :))

-[my thoughts about joy’s character]

i think joys character was also really refreshing to write; someone who, just like Ms. Choi, chose to cope with her situation and hardships by trying to remain positive and bubbly, even if the situation didn’t really call for it. and though her attitude may have made her seem insincere or insensitive, it’s just her trying to keep everyone on a lighter mood instead of letting them get too into their heads— and yeah, she’s definitely had times where people get angry and up in her face bc she seems to take everything as a joke, but that doesn’t stop her from caring in her own, unique way.

-[thoughts on choosing idols + tyun, an absolute psycho.]

NO BC IT WAS WAYYY TOO FUN PICKING THE IDOLS THAT WOULD FIT THE CHARACTERS 😭😭😭 like i know for a fact taeyong would be the last person in the universe to step into a shady and brutish place like that, but man does he have to appearance for it ! (along with jeno hehe)

as for the jk thing….. no comment! ^v^

but seriously, taehyun was a little batshit insane in killer instinct 😭😭 a true instigator and fiend at heart, he barely has the power to control his mouth before he’s spitting out stuff that’ll get him in serious trouble. which,, has happened before, so let’s just say he also got into fighting as a defense mechanism! 🤗 (that is a joke. kinda.)

(ALSO THE SHARKCAT THING IS SO FUNNY BUT ACCURATE???)

-[tyun, who did not sign up for any of this!!]

no bc i literally had so much fun when it was revealed that the mc was also a fighter 😭 it added another layer of superiority bc she now was both older and more experienced than tyun— so let’s just say the poor dude practically fell to his knees at the memory of him telling the mc she doesn’t know shit about the underground fighting scene skdbdkd

but the tyun fr just wanted to cope in his own way, what the hell do you mean he’s going up against a tyrant's prodigy??? what the fuck!!

i also enjoyed myself a bit too much when the mc interacted with jin or yoongi, simply bc she could allow herself to let loose around them haha

-[killer instinct and its lack of romance 😔]

i’m such a sucker for those types of typical scenes lmaooo like… can you tell i’m an avid kdrama watcher?? oooouuuh it’s showing isn’t it.

but i seriously feel a bit bad for those who expected this story to have more romance 😭 i did think about adding more honestly, but that would’ve made the story longer simply because their development had to be slowww if i was going to be detailed. there’s so many scenes i mentally cut out simply bc i was like “ok i fr should get on with this.”

one of them being a scene where they visit gyu and the mc gets to see the friendship between the two better— it allows her to see him in a new light and blah blah blah u get the gist huh

-[my secret thoughts about the smut ahhhh]

making out in front of a hospital is indeed insane and if the parking lot hadn’t been empty the two most definitely wouldn’t have had any peace!! like, hello?? ppl are dying over here!

i honestly did get reminded of camera shy gyu when i wrote that line 🫣 also a little confession, i was not satisfied with the smut like. at all 😭😭😭😭 i felt as though there was so much more room to play around with their dynamic but i just didn’t?? and i blame it on the fact that i was telling myself not to get carried away for the sake of how long it already was 😭

i actually wrote love fool bc i had finished killer instinct and was in a mood to write a more detailed smut out of pure spite 😭 love fool was neverrr supposed to see the light but i was so frustrated with myself that i decided well, fuck it!

-[ml you are everything to me, thank you </3]

ml (who, as i currently type this, is no longer ml, i guess?) i seriously can’t begin to tell you how thankful i am for this— like, i’ve never felt more grateful for the fact that you took the time to write such a detailed, long review??? you are straight out of a writer’s greatest dream, i will never stop loving the fact that you went into so much detail with this— when i first received your inbox, i started scrolling… then kept scrolling… then kept scrolling…. and when i tell you my eyes widened so bad and my jaw dropped, i had never been so happy while reading a review <3

writing is made even more enjoyable to me because of people like you, who give me the opportunity to share my thought process and talk about universes and stories i absolutely adore <3 you are seriously the best thing that’s ever happened to me on this blog, and i sincerely hope that other writers are able to experience this joy for themselves as well haha

#take a shot everytime i use the ‘😭’ emoji #LORD it’s EVERYWHERE #how are you guys not sick of me #thank you again you are literally the best ily sm <3 #rambles #koqabear asks #fic: killer instinct #masterlist anon!

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