#kier edition. lol

[mobwhim]

the WOMBATS 🎶🎸

[aconissa]

thanks theo @antarctik for the tag!

💿 hearing: my little horror podcasts as always (the constant wait for each new horror queers episode to drop...), and I recently got the wicker man soundtrack on vinyl so have been enjoying that

📺 watching: been showing hannibal to my partner and we're on s3 now, and I've also been making him watch the twilight saga (watching his reactions is pure joy for me haha). I'm a bit behind on yellowjackets s2 but making my way through it

📗 reading: stone mattress by margaret atwood, and house of psychotic women: an autobiographical exploration of female neurosis in horror and exploitation films by kier-la janisse, the expanded edition. it's breaking my brain but in the best possible way. required reading for the horror girlies

😈 obsessed with: the janisse book above, as well as playing horizon: forbidden west (I've been overseas consistently since pretty much mid april so I MISSED my ps5 lol), setting up scrivener and getting into writing fiction again, working on my phd and going a bit insane (classic), and planning some fun crafty projects with my partner!!

I tag @lesmiserabelles @arunima @pendraegon @devouringyourson bc I wanna hear what you're all up to!

[glitterdustcyclops]

saw @rainbowbarnacle do this and i thought it might be fun so

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs

like she did i'm just going to list out my WIPs with a brief summary but if any of these sound interesting to you or you'd like to ask me questions please please do

also i don't have a single WIP folder because i organize all of my various universes into their own folders but here's the ones i'm most actively working on:

The House of Orchids v5 / The Tale of the Blackwood Company: the two main entries in my fantasy courtesans universe, the titular house of orchids. the first is about how the son of one of the most conservative noble lords in an incredibly repressive/homophobic empire gets found out for being a fairy and then sold to a brothel, meets another courtesan, perrin, whomst is hot dom that helps him work through his Issues around his sexuality, and finally, gets his revenge on the people that wronged him. dual protag situation, the other half is about aria, a former-pirate-turned-courtesan who has recently been purchased by her own hot domme noble lady and how she navigates the complexities of that situation. focusing on themes of agency/control and how that impacts our identities and relationship to our body, and of course, because it's me, exploring how kink can help us navigate that.

the blackwood company are a mercenary band in the same universe who have a close relationship with the proprietor of the house of orchids and three of them are in a cute lil mmf polycule. they accept a contract to escort twin noble brats across the empire and along the way Shenanigans Ensue, as they are wont to do. another dual POV between kier, the f part of the mercenary polycule, whomst is an immortal queer warrior woman with a cnc kink, and elyssandra, the lady noble being escorted with a mysterious chronic illness, who feels Feelings about kier and doesn't know what to do with them. continuing themes of agency/bodily autonomy and kink as a method of exerting that control.

Gabe and Frankie Band Edition / Avery Again Again: the two main entries in my Nebula Verse, so named for the cafe/bookstore that is kind of the central hub between the various cast of characters. gabe & frankie's story started as an AU of a different universe but quickly became The Main One (i just can't bring myself to write about highschoolers anymore lol) and i've posted snippets of it before. the idea is kind of my riff on the whole bandom genre but explicitly queer, heavily cribbed from velvet goldmine with a sprinkle of the arden st. ives series from alexis hall for good measure. another dual POV situation between gabe, the lead singer of a queer glam rock band the peaches, and matt, a barista at nebula and the guitarist they hire last minute after the relationship between gabe and his former (regrettably heterosexual) lead guitarist implodes. shenanigans, it should not surprise you to learn, ensue.

meanwhile avery is a queer nonbinary adhd disaster (ngl, shameless self insert) who is roommates with one of nebula's other baristas, anna. they've recently been cut off from their rich parents for the crime of being a queer nonbinary college dropout and are working a series of jobs to make their rent money. Contrived Circumstances lead to them needing to pretend to be engaged to earn back the good graces/monetary support of their family, and they so happen to find a willing candidate in eliot. he is a wealthy and famous gay author of mystery novels who is embroiled in his own scandal after his ex-fiancé garret publishes a shocking tell-all memoir about what a prima donna jerk he supposedly is at the same time he gets into a very public, very embarrassing accident with some rando riding a vespa. eliot needs better publicity stat and a date to some industry event, and is willing to pay someone to pretend to be his arm candy. the two come to a mutually beneficial financial arrangement. and good thing avery can't stand him, so there's Absolutely No Chance of real, complicated emotional feelings to make things messy between the two of them. of course.

this is a shameless pretty woman riff, with lots of kink sprinkled in for good measure.

Cat V3 / Brian V3: the two main entries in my other series based around a cafe/central hub of artsy weirdos, this one called Haven. cat is an adhd disaster (are you sensing a pattern) who works at a board game store in a charming little shopping district of the college town of greendale, a which the locals fondly refer to as Hipster Alley. her two best friends and roommates ginger & greg work at Haven. cat accidentally runs into a intimidatingly hot punk woman outside Haven when she's running late for work, and it turns out this woman's name is quinn, and she works at a nearby bakery. cat attempts an ill-advised friendship with quinn while she pretends she's not hardcore crushing on her, which eventually turns into a friends-with-benefits kink-based situationship, and then they finally get over themselves and admit they're in wuv. lots of lowkey, charming vignettes of cat's friend group/found family of nosy queers (and a couple Token Heterosexuals in ginger and nathan) trying to help cat woo quinn. the epitome of cozy low-stakes coffeeshop fluff.

brian's story is another mmf polycule situation, takes place chronologically before cat's, with a shared cast of characters. brian shows up on the doorstep of what he thinks is his childhood best friend's apartment after a gaybashing leads him to fleeing his shitty small town, only to find that said childhood best friend, nathan, moved out. yesterday. nathan's former roommates, violet and anthony, let brian crash there while he sorts his life out a bit. violet engages in her own devious machinations to get anthony and brian to admit their obvious attraction for one another, and her plan to be the filling in their no-homo sandwich backfires spectacularly when she develops feelings for the dude too. whoopsie.

as far as tagging goes i'll tag @musicismymoirail because i know we've talked about some of my ocs before, otherwise anyone else who wants to do this please do!! and tag me cuz i'm nosy!!!

[mockiery]

Runs to your inbox! Jumps in! Hi! (gives you a lil Steven wave)

Could you tell us one of your favorite Soft Moon Knight Hours headcanons for Marc?

(runs away to play "fetch" with a jackal, Nandor v Toby style)

heheheheheh soft marc hc you say? my friend you know how to cater to my needs.

I'm also lumping this in with an anon ask that tumblr ate about something that the three of them all like to do together, because its on my mind. But.

Music. As people, Marc, Steven, and Jake are pretty different, and while I think they'd have a good time supporting the other's pursuing their interests and listening (Steven infodumping on a trip to a museum, Marc at a baseball game or talking Star Wars or Space ((take that hc from my cold, dead hands)), Jake explaining the inner workings of a car, erc), music is one of those things that's so intrinsically human, it beings us together.

I've talked some about Jake and music and within the replies of @bammtoris 's art about their music taste, but.

As far as what they can play? Steven, I feel, would dabble with piano primarily, maybe even a ukulele he has ukulele boy vibes, fight me . Jake, as I've talked about, is a good guitar player, and I think he'll play a piano if you put one in front of him too. Marc knows a little piano and guitar from his youth. Just chords, really, but I think if given the chance, he'd play some guitar from time to time. But.

But where Marc shines? Singing. Something in the way how, when no one is around, it's one of the few ways he can just. Let out what he's been holding in.

His singing? It's soft, it's full, it's emotional. It builds in intensity as he goes. He can only really do some simple chords on guitar/piano, but his voice? His voice more than makes up for it; it's the centerpiece.

He wouldn't know that though. For him, it's a release, something he keeps to himself. He'd rather do anything else but sing, perform, anything like that for other people.

The first time Layla hears him sing it isn't intentional. He's singing to himself, alone, and is so deeply into it that despite his constant head-on-a-swivel disposition, he doesn't hear her get home/come up to their place. And she hears him, really hears him. cough cough being seen who? cough And she waits outside the door, not wanting to startle him, because he's clearly not aware of her and she knows not to sneak up on him. But also. She just wants to listen. And if she's honest with herself, this might be the most emotionally vulnerable he's ever sounded. It almost feels wrong listening.

But a while later, she tries to work it into conversation, really wishing to hear it again, hear him again, this time with his permission. And he pushes the idea away and she let's him. She let's it go. But it sits with him. And sits with him. And he practices.

He picks a song and he practices and practices it, for her. And he surprises her on their anniversary.

When she cries, he freaks out, putting the guitar down and rushing to her, apologizing and apologizing, but she takes his hands and then his face in hers and tells him to Shut up, no, that was beautiful. Thank you. I love you.

I love you.

[clairen45]

What do you think of the porgs and their meaning for IX? I saw the cover of star wars insider 2019 special edition with Rey on it and a Porg at the corner. At first I thought this whole Porg stuff is all just for fun but then I read Leia - princess of Alderran and there is a passage (19, I believe) where Holdo speaks about breeding and to resolve a problem between parents and child . . . What do you think could this all mean?

Dear anon, this answer was a long time coming. Thank you so much for bringing up Porgs again, because, you got it all right! Porgs matter! They matter so much, not just like your Ewok novelty. People thinking they were just an excuse to sell cheap toys are utterly confused and missed the whole point.

The reason why Porgs were created in TLJ, after all, probably stems from a very practical reason. Skellig Michael Island, in Ireland, where the scenes for Ahch-To were shot both for the end of TFA and for TLJ, is a famous puffin sanctuary. It is also a place with a heavy spiritual past, which also, besides its gorgeous scenery, might have been why they chose it. But they still had to make do with the massive population of puffins. At the end of TFA we are vaguely aware of birds coming and going. But the little time spent on Ahch-To on TFA meant that we didn’t get enough scenes there to really pay attention on what these birds were. No CGI. No particular intent there. For TLJ they knew they were going to spend more time on the island. Get more shots. And so more probable that the birds would get more obtrusive within the action. So, what to do? This is what Jake Lunt Davies, the creature concept designer of the Porgs had to say:

Rian [Johnson – the director] had gone to shoot this sequence on Skellig Michael, which is the real island location that stands in for Ahch-To, and that island is covered in puffins. It’s a wildlife preserve and everywhere you look there are hundreds of birds dotted around the landscape.

From what I gathered, Rian, in a positive spin on this, was looking at how can he work with this. You can’t remove them. You physically can’t get rid of them. And digitally removing them is an issue and a lot of work, so let’s just roll with it, play with it. And so I think he thought, “Well, that’s great, let’s have our own indigenous species.”… The puffins were sort of a big influence on everything, really.

RJ put a spin on theme… He knew he was going to make them part of the whole thing. I personally don’t think this was a machiavellian scam to jam down obniouxly cute creatures down out throats. I don’t. I think that right off the bat RJ decided that he was going to use the porgs as a specific vehicle for a very important message… breeding… the power of love and love creating new life… mating and babies…. And lo, how he hammered that point throughout the movie: in Luke’s first lesson to Rey about the nature of the Force, with mama porg protecting her eggs. And with the porgs nesting on the MF.

Now, I did a specific giant meta about birds and mating throughout SW: Bird is the Word- Avian Metaphor and Mating in Star Wars. This is an excerpt from my meta that might sum up what the “bird experience” means to me:

TLJ was meant as Sex Ed class for Rey and Kylo. I should not have to develop the many many sexual symbols on Ahch-To, the caves, wetness, and the glorious nakedness of Kylo, or the smut hut. Remember, I am talking about birds. And what do the birds mean? Birds represent life, mating, nesting. And of course they are much more appealing symbols of reproduction than bunnies, let’s say, because birds are ascensional symbols. They do represent the pressures of biology and reproduction, but their graceful flight gives spiritual value to the deed. Birds are the link between the earth and the sky, the body and the soul, mortals and immortals, humans and gods. Think about Leda and the Swan, or Aphrodite’s dove, and all these cutesy birdies that usually flutter around our favorite Disney princesses, especially when they sing about love or falling in love. Think about Bambi and the spectacle of love-crazed birds. Twitterpatted alright!

Go check out the meta really because it is astounding how much the bird motif is “pregnant” (lol) in the movies and in the ST in particular. The EU brought even more substance with that cute parallel between this Forces of Destiny episode on porgs (Porgs problems) and the Lion King… Further read on this one in this post: More on Porgs …

That:being said, once the tale was told, of course Disney and LF jumped on the bandwagon of selling porgs as the cute novelty toy! Of course they would. It is only fair. But I don’t think for one minute that they were imagined and designed that way. PORGS ARE MEANINGFUL!!!!!

Now, dear anon, you bring up something from Leia Princess of Alderaan which is indeed super important. It does come from chapter 19, p.243 for the hardcover edition. Leia is then falling for her first love, Kier. And as the princess struggles between her feelings and her moral duty, and wonders whether she is entitled to happiness in such dire times,  this is what Amilyn Holdo tells her:

If the young of the species don’t have motivations to leave the care of their parents, they’ll never lead an independent existence, which means they’ll never reproduce. The species would soon die out. Ergo, the last stage of life before adulthood always involve conflict between parents and offspring.

There are many key points for the ST there. “Motivations” is a word that should ring a bell… What are Kylo’s motivations, for one? But also remember that scene in TFA when Rey is trying to fix the “motivator” on the MF, a scene that comes right afterward Kylo’s asking about “What girl?”

And remember how the scene is cut in a way that the characters almost seem to reach out to each other, like a first try at teh Force bond device we get so beautifully done in TLJ.

You also have the paramount importance of leaving the parents to gain independence. That is Rey at the beginning of TFA. She is unable to let go of her parents. She is thus maintained in perpetual childhood and childishness, which are emphasized at the beginning of the movie by the concept for her hair (same style as the one she had as a child), the toys in her At-AT, theme music, and facial expressions when on her own (eating or playing with the helmet).

And then tyou have conflict with the parents. And that’s obviously Kylo.

So, yep, this is all about breeding and need to reproduce. BTW, on Kylo’s Spotify playlist, THIS: Breed by Nirvana. Coincidence? Of course not.

Further in Claudia Gray’s book, on p.245, to be more specific, Holdo adds:

Happiness is our moral imperative. (…)

Great evil can only be fought by the strong. People need spiritual fuel as much as they need food, water, and air. Happiness, love, joy, hope -these are the emotions that give us the strength to do what we need to do.

Interesting cluster of words. Holdo is all about vital force, the reproductive and restorative spark. Just like her famous quote in TLJ: “We are the spark, that’ll light the fire, that will restore the Republic.“  Restorative, reproductive, constructive. Just like Rose’s quote about saving what you love. Which is, very significantly, twisted and misinterpreted by Poe (and rage-fueled fanboys): “We are the spark, that will light the fire that’ll burn the First Order down”, which is destructive.

Also, it is in this book that we find a quote that was -revealingly- removed from TLJ : “the most dangerous substance known to exist (IS…) a pair of pretty dark eyes”. This Jane Austen quote was uttered in TLJ by none other than Luke Skywalker yours truly to Rey after her hand scene with Kylo:

“You opened yourself to Dark Side for a pair of pretty eyes!“

So, in the end what? You can guess where this is all going. Your intuition was correct. Of course it means that there will be a resolution of conflict between Kylo and his parents (even symbolically, because, yes, I know that Han is dead!!!). And of course there will be babies or the suggestion of babies (pregnant belly?) or some lovemaking (or suggestion of love making) at some point or as the endgame. There is no other way to read or interpret all the ST material and the EU canon material. After all this book you very kindly brought to attention yet again is aptly headed “JOURNEY TO STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI”. It is a companion book. It is meant that way. It has to reflect what the main themes are from the movie….

Hope that covered your question. Thanks again for reaching out!

[elliot-orion]

Writing Update 5/24/19

Word Count: 5027

Favorite Line: “Why the fuck don’t we have a ramp in the front? How many disabled ex-Heroes are there? This is just rude.” I grumble, mostly to keep myself from over thinking. 

Update: I decided before this draft that Vincent was going to be an amputee, and goddamn it this is not just going to be brushed under the rug and excused bc he has a prosthetic, it is a plot point, it is mentioned a bunch, it is a goddamn thing in his life and it will be shown as such. And given how he lost his leg, it very much SHOULD be a big thing bc like DAMn can you say childhood trauma much??

Anyways, just wrote a ton for ATDADT again! fun! I was getting annoyed i didn’t have any kier in there so i decided fuck it we are having Kier in there now. I think i want to add an earlier kier scene when i edit/rewrite to show their relationship with Vincent bc like. otherwise this scene doesnt make much sense tbh? but its in there now, and it should be there anyways bc Kier goes to rehab and needs to be available later for plot reasons so it has to be relatively early. I just have to add stuff earlier. Also i needed to introduce Dinah for personal reasons. That are mainly just she is a treasure and i wanted to give Vincent someone to chill with. But mostly she’s a treasure. and im tired of her not being a character i can utilize in the story since i hadn’t introduced her yet. I also realized i... dont know how this is going to end. At fucking all. Originally it was going to end just with dusty and vincent being cute and AdjustedTM but then i realized thats?? really not a great ending? and idk. need to give it some thought lol. The plot is a vague wishy washy hand motion after their relationship gets discovered. so there is THAT. also im posting an excerpt from this soon bc i have a good part to share and why not. Look out for that ;) 

[mockiery]

what's a line (or just a piece of writing/paragraph) from your wips or finished works that you 1) really enjoyed writing, and/or 2) are really proud of?

ooooo yes ur giving me a free reign question here set, love that. ok hmmm

I find some of my favorite bits to write are character interactions, especially ones with complex feelings/motivations and/or conflicts on either side, EXTRA NICE if it's a very early interaction in the characters' relationship or a specific conflict. The dialogue and the insight into the POV character's thought process and emotions is my favorite shit in the world, extra spicy if I can pull off some cool metaphors and imagery in the process.

In "carving out", it's Jake and Layla's 4d chess of a conversation, and in "grounding touch", it's Marc and Steven in the plane's bathroom mirror, most especially the moments around the switch, the transition of POV and emotional transference and all.

Anyway. Here's a taste of Steven trying to reach out to a certain someone, taken from my Post-Cairo #3: Flat wip:

-

With a final deep breath, steadying his gaze into the mirror, he begins; "Listen, I … I don't know if you can hear me, I'm still not sure how all of this works for us, but --- I'm talking to you. Not Marc. You."

Steven feels the blurring on the edge of his mind, a familiar feeling he's only just begun to notice, let alone recognize for what it is. He's gotten better at being in tune with the ebbs and flows of their dissociation, and he thinks ... He thinks he has their "Number 3's" attention.

"I'd like to have a proper chat if possible, but at the very least I'd like you to listen, yeah? I'm new to this, but Marc's even more new to it. This part, I mean. The not-knowing. And he's not going to admit it, to himself even, but he's scared."

And you're not? He doesn't hear it so much as feel it, in his chest. Wordless, like before your mind finds the language to give the thought form.

"No… Well, a bit, sure, but that's nothing out of the ordinary." At Steven's response, whoever he felt on the edges must've pulled back, a shift inside he only notices after he's paused. He grips the sink and steadies his gaze into the eyes of his reflection. "But I'm not scared of you, if that's what you're getting at."

Steven stays open to his feelings. Their feelings. There's a sense of … irritation? Exasperation? Not quite full anger, he doesn't think, but he reaches further. He knows it isn't his, and it isn't Marc's. He knows Marc's by now. Marc's is building, uncontrollable pressure, thrashing against the seams until it bursts through. This? This, deep down within? This is … subdued. Steady. Pointed. Anger with purpose.

"If that's what you're worried about. You're not going to be able to scare me off, Marc tried that himself and it didn't work out, did it? No. So if that's your plan, you may as well toss it out here and now."

ask me about my wips