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spencerfleming-blog1 · 6 years

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BY YOUR SIDE ➣ SABRIEL.

TAGGING: Spencer Fleming and Gabriel Rivera.

LOCATION: Fleming residence.

TIMEFRAME: Late Saturday night.

NOTES: After Gabe had a run-in with his father, he comes to see Spencer even though she said that she needed space from him.

WARNINGS: Slight mentions of blood and bruising.

The exhaustion was unlike anything Gabriel had felt before. Not only was it a physical exhaustion, it was also mental and emotional, almost to the point where he felt incapacitated by the sheer amount of differing emotions he was feeling. Gabriel had been awake since Friday morning, getting by on adrenaline and rage until he saw Sergio, the crash from that unhealthy high as painful as the current state of his hand, if not more. The drive from Columbus back to Lima had been a long one, Sergio’s words on constant repeat in Gabriel’s head as he admitted to many things - mainly to offering to pay for an abortion because he felt it would be better for everyone. Sergio’s words were haunting him, a pang in his heart as he realized he was related to such an awful, uncaring and selfish person. Though what made it worse for Gabriel was to realize that the picture he’d seen online hadn’t prepared him to see Sergio. They looked exactly alike, the resemblance uncanny- the same hair, the same crooked smile, the same build, the same eyes. The only differences were Sergio’s wrinkles and darker skin, the inch or two in height Gabriel had on him, and graying hair. To Gabriel, it was almost like a horror film to have the older version of him say such terrible things, and he couldn’t help but fear that he’d grow up exactly like him. Although he knew that Spencer needed space, at the moment, he couldn’t help but be selfish - after almost forty-eight hours of a constant rollercoaster ride, he needed his best friend. Again, he dropped by unannounced and after noticing Michelle’s car was gone, he made his way to the door, grimacing when he tried to knock on it with his injured hand. Instead, he rang the doorbell, not wanting to let himself inside as he usually would; he had no right to. He just hoped Spencer wouldn’t close the door in his face when she saw it was him.

Even though Monday was only a few days past, it had still felt like an eternity for Spencer. She tried to surround herself with her friends, but it just didn't feel right. She told Gabe that she had wanted space from him, but all that she wanted was for him to hold her and tell her that it was all okay. How could you have someone comfort you if they're the reason that you're hurting? Spencer wondered this, but she mostly kept to herself. The first day she texted several people, asking to be cheered up - but by the next day she knew that she just wanted to be left alone. If she didn't have Gabe, what was the point? Spencer was spending the day alone on Saturday, wondering what she could actually do to make herself happy. It was getting late and Spencer was sprawled across the couch, half-asleep when he heard the doorbell ring. She jumped off, a little startled and quickly made her way to the front door. When she saw Gabe standing there, she tilted her head in a confused way. But she knew him. He looked broken, and even more so there was blood on his knuckles. "Gaby?" Spencer asked quietly, eyes wide. No matter what, she would want to protect him. "Oh, God.. What happened? Are you okay? Come in, please." Spencer's heart was beating fast, but she pulled him inside and shut the door behind her and turned back to him, mouth slightly open. "I... Oh my God?" She placed a soft hand against his face. "Tell me what happened."

In the back of his mind, Gabriel knew it was a testament of how strong their bond truly was. Spencer had been confused at first, but as she took in his rugged appearance, she immediately wanted to help him and he could tell in her eyes that she was worried for him. It was almost as if nothing had happened, her soft touch making him close his eyes and allow himself to calm down. Surreptitiously, he clenched his fist and tried to hide his grimace by coughing then motioning for her to sit with him on the couch; he knew she needed to be seated for this. Once they reached her couch, Gabriel sat down on the edge of it and looked down at his hand - dried blood mixed with fresh blood, bruised and swollen, shaking, shooting pain up to his elbow. “I saw him” he started, though he shook his head immediately after speaking - she didn’t even know who he was talking about. “My father, I mean. I... I went to see him earlier. I - I found him. He works in Columbus and I... I went to see him. I was stupid and just... I wanted to see him in person.” He paused, trying to gather his thoughts. Gabriel knew his words were everywhere, jumbled together and barely making sense; at least Spencer knew him well enough that she could piece things together without him explaining every detail.“And I did. And I... hit him. I punched him a few times. I... just wanted to see him, but when I saw him I just I saw red and... I hit him. God, I made sure it hurt him. I didn’t want him to forget it, y’know.” It sounded so childish, even in his head. “Spence... he has three kids. He just... didn’t want me.” Gabriel hated that he sounded like he wanted a relationship with Sergio, because he didn’t and never would. It was just the fact that he was so unwanted that made him hurt. “He told me he was gonna give my mom money for the abortion.” Another pause. “I look just like him. Exactly like him. And, fuck, y’know... I always wondered why my mom would stop herself from saying I remind her of him but, God, how could I not? I’m the fucking spitting image of the dude who...” he trailed off, willing himself to not cry, “I’m the spitting image of the dude who took advantage of her and told her to ‘take care of it’.”

Even though Spencer had been clear on how she wanted space from Gabe, this wasn't something that she would want hidden from her. In fact, wanting space from him seemed incredibly silly in this very moment. Her heart was beating fast as she followed him to the couch, sitting in front of him taking his hurt hand in her own. She held it gently, examining it for a moment before her eyes flickered up as he began to explain. Everything started to make sense, and all she could do was frown as he began to explain everything. As he continued to talk - his emotion incredibly clear - Spencer brought his bloody hand up to her lips and kissed it gently over and over again, being sure not to harm him by the feather light touch of her lips. "I'm so sorry," Spencer whispered, setting his hand down and looking at him. Her heart broke for him. Their bond was so strong that when he hurt, she hurt too. A silly fight meant nothing now. It really meant nothing. She cupped Gabe's face in her hands gently, and then leaned forward to press her forehead against his. "Gabe.. He's nothing. He's nothing, do you hear me? You're amazing. He's missing out. Who cares if he looks like you, huh? Who cares about his kids, huh?" She knew the answer to this, but she still spoke quietly, her mind racing a million miles a second. "I'm so sorry, Gaby. I'm sorry. I'm here for you, baby. Okay?"

When he was a little kid, Gabriel had asked his mother why he didn’t have two parents like most kids his age and without missing a beat, she’d answered that she was good enough to be both a mother and a father. For the longest time, he hadn’t questioned that since he knew for a fact that Mariana was the best parent he could ask for. Then he met Spencer and her family - especially her father, who had taken a liking to him as if they were father and son; he finally knew what it was like to have a father figure around, but then he was gone and he couldn’t even mourn properly because he was Michelle and Spencer’s, not his. Growing up, Gabriel could’ve sworn up and down that he didn’t need a father, but he’d always been curious. But now if he could take it back, he would. As Spencer cupped his face in her hands and pressed her forehead against his, he could feel his resolve fading and his tears falling freely as she spoke, her words breaking him and putting him back together all at once. Gabriel sniffled, nodding when she said that she was there for him - he knew that, of course, but after the last few days and how miserable he’d felt after their fight, he needed to hear her say it. “What if I end up like him?” he asked quietly, his breaths shallow as he thought about it, “I... I mean... I was awful to you. I said some things I didn’t mean. I was - hell, I was angry and fucking nuts and I...” he trailed off with a shake of his head, “and what if he’s like that? What if I’m just like him and I don’t know it? What if I hurt you?”

As soon as Gabe started crying, Spencer could feel her heart break all over again. The past days of being angry with him faded away, and she immediately used the pad of her thumb to wipe away the tears quickly. "Shh," Spencer hushed him, kissing his cheek gently. She was about to tell him that she loved him, but he asked quietly - what if I end up like him? She frowned, shaking her head immediately. "Stop..." She whispered, finally putting her finger against Gabe's lips to get him to stop asking those same questions. "You're not going to hurt me, Gabe. I know you better than that." She paused, chewing on her bottom lip gently as she thought about what to say next. "Did you..." She started quietly, eyes looking back down at his mangled hand. She needed to clean that up as soon as possible - she didn't want him getting an infection at all. "Did you know? About your dad... When you came over?" As she asked the question, though, she didn't need Gabe to answer. She should've known that something was off. He would've never spoken to her like that if something wasn't really wrong. "Oh..." She muttered, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry. I should've known something was wrong. I should've."

With Spencer, Gabriel knew that he could show weakness and be vulnerable without fear of judgment; she’d seen him at his best, and this was arguably his worst. Spencer was his person, his best friend, the person who knew him best and knew how to take care of him, the person who knew what to say to calm him down. And though feeling her hands on his cheeks and injured hand were doing the trick, he could still feel his heart beat fast against his chest. He was anxious; he could hardly breathe properly. It’d been too much for a day. When Spencer asked him if he’d known about his father when he’d come over, Gabriel remained quiet, clenching his jaw tightly as he looked down at his hand. He took a shaky breath as she realized the answer to her question, her apology making him feel worse - he didn’t want her to think anything had been her fault. “You couldn’t have known, babe” he said with a slight shrug of his shoulders, making it seem like it wasn’t a big deal, “you couldn’t have known anything was up.” A shaky breath fell from his lips as he looked at her, “I’m sorry I said all that. I was mad... I’d seen his face and I got mad. I saw his daughter was a year younger than me and I got mad.” A pause. “I’m so sorry. I would never speak to you like that, babe. I hope you know that.”

I would never speak to you like that. Spencer nodded, taking his injured hand back in her own with ease as she examined it for a moment. Even though he said that she couldn’t have known, she should have. The two of them were as thick as thieves and knew one another’s quirks like the back of their hands. Gabe was someone who was always incredibly soft spoken. He was gentle and loving, and the person who she had talked to earlier in the week was nothing like him. She should’ve gathered this. But she didn’t. “I have to clean you up,” Spencer murmured, and motioned for him to follow her to the guest bathroom. She sat him on the toilet seat and then rummaged through the medicine cabinet to find everything that Mariana had taught her that she’d need to dress a wound. After taking a rag and wetting it, she grabbed all of the supplies and sat on the edge of the bathtub and gently began cleaning the blood off of his hand. “I’m so sorry,” Spencer whispered, continuing to work on his hand.

Gabriel knew he didn’t deserve for Spencer to be this good to him, especially after what had happened on Wednesday between them. Sure, he was hurt in more ways than one, but he knew that he didn’t deserve someone this good in his life. Without a second thought, Spencer had led them to the bathroom and had quietly gathered everything she’d need to tend to his injured hand. Gabriel knew it wasn’t broken, but it was at least a little sprained, if not fractured; he hadn’t thought this through with his music and baseball. When he’d seen Sergio, he hadn’t even thought twice, he’d punched him once, twice, three times... every hit stronger than the last. And now? Now his hand was throbbing, his knuckles still bleeding slightly from the sheer force he’d used to hurt his father. “Why are you apologizing?” He asked with a shake of his head, wincing as she began to clean his wounds, tending to him as gently as she could. “You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise.”

“I’m not apologizing for anything I did,” Spencer shrugged, continuing to clean his hand and noted how it was bruised and swollen. She thought of him playing his music and how he wouldn’t be able to for awhile, which made her heart hurt for him. Music was her one thing - if she didn’t have it, she didn’t have anything. “I’m apologizing on behalf of him. About all of this. I’m just sorry you’re hurt.” Another shrug as she began dressing his hand, wrapping it up perfectly so that it could heal properly. “Go get comfy on the couch.” Spencer told Gabe, putting away the supplies and making her way towards the kitchen to grab him a bottle of Dr. Pepper - she always kept bottles of it stocked because it was his favorite. After grabbing some Advil, she brought it over to him and set everything down. “Go ahead, your hand will feel better.”

Spencer was so kind and caring that she thought to apologize on Sergio’s behalf for him being such a terrible person; she didn’t need to, but she wanted Gabriel to feel better. He simply looked at her, his head slightly tilted as he gave her a sad smile. Quietly, he watched as she finished up tending to him, wrapping his hand up before telling him to sit on the couch. Doing as he was told, he dragged his feet to the living room and sat down with a long sigh, running his left hand through his hair as he thought about how everything had gotten fucked up since he decided to find out who his father was. He couldn’t help but smile when Spencer came back with a Dr. Pepper in hand along with Advil, all to help him feel better. With a nod, he did as he was told then leaned back against the couch with a groan; he was exhausted, longing for the moments when the exhaustion was only physical and not mental. “I love you” he whispered as he turned to look at Spencer, “I’m sorry about all this... I’m sorry I didn’t let you have your space. I’m just... really sorry.”

When Gabe apologized, all Spencer could do was shake her head. The anger that she once felt towards him had dissipated. Had he been angry with her for any other reason than his father, she would've still needed space -- but now? She knew that Gabe needed her more than ever, and she wasn't about to let their first argument get in the way of that. He was there for her in her time of need, and now she would do the same for him. She plopped down on the couch, sighed as she looked over at him. "I missed you, anyway," she told him honestly, taking his left hand in her own and kissing the knuckles. "And... Infinity War was like, God awful." She chuckled, thinking about them sitting in a movie theater and not even talking to one another. "I mean, brutal. So.." She trailed off and shrugged, turning to face him. "I love you so much. And I'm going to be here for you, okay? We're going to watch all of your favorite things, eat junk food and forget about him." A pause. "You deserve better." She sighed, leaning forward to press her lips against Gabe's and letting it linger a moment. "I love you so much. We're never going to let him get in the way of us, okay?"

#kidsgabriel #char: gabriel.#para: gabriel.#para: by your side.

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