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hyperfanfictions · 4 months ago

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So since AO3 is still down for me and won't be back until 11:45 PM..

I'm posting the marware fic here! I may as well repurpose this blog again for general fics anyway

Fic under cut(its marware)

Mario hummed happily as he strolled through the forest leading to Puzzles’ studio, humming his iconic theme song and, when that one was finished, the Puzzlevision theme song. He was just as happy as ever; He had finally recovered from some awful injuries and was free to do what he liked without concern! And of course, he was going to celebrate by kissing his TV headed boyfriend.

As he approached the studio and raised his hand to knock on the door, Puzzles opened the door and lifted him up excitedly, spinning around with the Italian in his arms as he laughed. Mario laughed along with him despite being confused.

When they finally stopped spinning, Puzzles placed Mario back onto the ground and held out a letter to the Italian, grinning excitedly. Mario noticed that the letter’s wax seal resembled the one they saw on a gala invitation a few months back. “Amore, what's this?” He asked, still smiling. Puzzles waved his hands excitedly, his screen flickering as his smile grew wider. Mario, realizing he probably wasn't going to get an answer, took the letter and tore it open, pulling out a neatly written invitation.

“Dear Mr. Puzzles, the Truffle Kingdom formally invites you to the coronation party of the newly appointed Queen Alyssa. You and your potential consort will be esteemed guests of her majesty and will be greeted formally by her.” The letter continued to list activities and options in the buffet, to which Mario closed the paper and looked up at Puzzles in shock. “Another ball?”

“We're esteemed guests! Isn't that amazing?!” Puzzles squealed, standing up and waving his hands excitedly. His antennae vibrated rapidly with his excitement, and Mario smiled. “It is awesome! I wonder if the others were invited too...” Mario looked out the forest curiously, and Puzzles quickly lifted him into his arms bridal-style. Mario blinked as his face turned as red as his sweater. “Uh-”

“Let's go find out!” With that, Puzzles burst running, the flustered Italian in his arms.

SMG4 looked over the invitation Meggy handed him with intrigue. The wax seal resembled the one on the previous invitation, as well as the handwriting being just as neat as before. SMG3 had already begun reading Tari’s invite, and a wide grin was spreading across his face. “You hear that, Four? We’re esteemed guests.”

“So I've heard.” Four replied, opening the invite to read it himself. Before he could actually cut the paper, however, Puzzles kicked open the door to the castle, carrying a very red Mario in his arms like a bride. Meggy and Three immediately burst into laughter at the sight of a stupidly grinning adware and flustered Italian, as if they swapped personalities. Tari clasped her hands together and awed, while Four simply scowled and rolled his eyes as he opened the invitation.

Puzzles giddily walked into the castle and set Mario down, to which the Italian breathed a sigh of relief. Meggy snickered. “Did he carry you all the way here?”

“Yes. He also ran here, so that didn't help, heh.” Mario chuckled as he fixed himself, standing up straight as he brushed off his overalls. “Did you guys get an invitation too?” He asked, turning towards Meggy as he fixed his hair. Meggy nodded and pointed to Tari and Puzzles, who were bouncing up and down in excitement. “Tari and Four got theirs earlier today, and we only just opened them. Did Puzzles get his?”

“Yep! Barely got a chance to knock on the door when he burst out and spun me around, hah!” Mario laughed, and Meggy chuckled. Four rolled his eyes and turned towards Three, who was watching Tari and Puzzles plan out outfits. “What’s up, dude?” He asked as Four approached him. Four held up the invitation. “3 days doesn’t seem like much time to prepare for a ball, don’t you think?”

“I think it’s plenty. We’ve got two days to shop for clothes, and after that, 12 hours max to do makeup!”

“... Are you going to wear makeup to the ball?” Four asked, blinking in confusion. Three gestured to his eyes, which had a faint purple eyeshadow on the lid. “I wear makeup all the time dude. It’s just not noticeable most of the time. I am so stepping it up for this dance.” Three laughed triumphantly while Four sighed, folding the invitation and setting it on the counter. Puzzles crouched to the ground to Tari’s level as Tari waved her hands excitedly. “Okay okay okay! So- Outfit ideas. Go.”

“I’m thinking a navy blue suit?”

“Ooh, great! It would be nice to add some color to your grayscale ass, no offense.”

“None taken! Will you wear the same dress as last time?”

“Probably not, it’s weird to wear the same dress twice. I did really like those veiled sleeves though, even if they kept getting caught in the crooks of my arm.” Tari giggled as she flapped her hands up and down in excitement, and Puzzles soon joined her, the expression on his screen grinning. Mario watched with a lovestruck gaze, his hand to his cheek as he smiled at the two. Meggy elbowed him as she snickered. “You looove him~” She teased, and Mario looked at her strangely. “We’ve been dating for 6 months, most of that time being behind y’alls backs.”

“I know, heheheh.” Meggy giggled, and Mario rolled his eyes with a smile.

Suddenly, Tari and Puzzles approached the two with wide grins, Four and Three being dragged behind them. Four’s expression was sour while Three’s was grinning. Mario and Meggy looked up at them in confusion. Tari grabbed Meggy’s arm and giggled. “We’re going shopping!”

“Wuh-”

Mario felt himself be lifted and slung over the adware’s shoulder, and Puzzles began to hum his theme song as he walked out the door, dragging behind him a wheezing Three. Tari soon followed after them, dragging Meggy and Four with her.

The Kohls was a messy place to buy suits, but it was cheap.

Four and Three browsed the vests as they talked, while Puzzles gave advice to Tari on dresses she found nice. Mario had to be held back by Meggy as they browsed the dress shirts. As Tari pushed aside a flowery sundress, her gaze locked onto a golden yellow dress with scattered sequins, the sleeves veiled and the skirt poofy and long. Tari snatched the dress from the hanger and held it before her, pressing it to her chest to allow Puzzles to see it. “Wow! What a gorgeous dress.”

“And it's got the sleeves I like! Ain't that neat?” Tari smiled, her expression beaming like sunlight. Puzzles smiled and lifted the cloth of the skirt, feeling the sequins and the petticoat underneath. “Yellow is certainly an odd color to go with, but if it makes you happy...”

“Yes! Yes, it does!”

“Okay, okay!” Puzzles grabbed her shoulders and turned her around as he stood up, his screen flickering as he switched to a calm expression. “Why don't you go show Meggy your choice. I'll see if I can help Four and Three out.”

“Okay! Ha ha!” Tari burst running through the aisle as she ran towards Meggy and Mario, flaunting the dress she chose. Puzzles smiled and walked over to Three and Four, who were arguing over colors.

“I'm telling you, wearing any color besides blue would work on you!” Three proposed, holding up a yellow vest. Four scoffed. “I'm not against that idea, but fucking yellow?!”

“If you're looking for a color then may I propose mahogany instead?” Puzzles reached between the two and pulled out a deep red vest instead. Four narrowed his eyes to the idea, but after staring at the vest for a moment, he took the vest and held it onto his body. Three grinned and snapped his fingers. “See! You look good when it isn't blue.”

“Fuck you.” Four glared at the guardian in front of him before looking at Puzzles. “Why aren't you shopping for something, Mr. Puzzles?”

“I've already got a suit in my studio, heh...” Puzzles fiddled with the knobs on his head as a sweet smile filled his screen. Four scoffed and turned towards the vests again before pulling out a magenta vest. “Well if I'm wearing red, then you're going to wear pink.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Actually, I feel green would better fit with your purple aesthetic, SMG3. They are complimentary colors!”

“You did not just say ‘aesthetic’ unironically.” Three teased, and Puzzles rolled his eyes. “I say many words unironically, SMG3.”

“Yeah, but it's still fucking funny.” Three replied, pulling a green vest from the selection. Puzzles chuckled, and Four glared at him. He wasn't used to seeing Three and Puzzles get along like this when they were enemies before. He still didn't like Puzzles hanging around them.

“Puzzles! Mario found something!”

“Huh?”

Puzzles and the guardians turned around to see Meggy showing off a flustered, grinning Italian holding a light orange suit to his body, the lapel decorated with blue and gold sequins. A heartbeat line spread across Puzzles’ screen as he processed a mental image of Mario in that suit, and Three raised his thumbs. “Awesome choice.”

“Huh. Never thought I'd have the image of Mario in a suit in my head.” Four mumbled, slinging the mahogany vest over his arm. Puzzles walked to his lover and cupped his hands around the Italian's face, and Mario chuckled and pushed him away. “Quit it, we're in public!”

“Yeah, save it for the bed!” Meggy teased, and Tari appeared behind her and smacked her in the head. “Be appropriate!”

“Yeah, Megs. This is a dance, not a strip club.” Three responded, earning a glare from Tari and Puzzles while Four just stared at him in disgust. Meggy and Mario burst into hysterical wheezes as Puzzles stood up, groaning. “Meggy, have you at least found a dress?”

“Oh yeah! I found a cool red dress with a gold trim, it looks awesome.”

“Great, grab it so that we can leave.” Puzzles turned around and left the aisle, prompting the others to follow him, with Four noticeably behind.

The days passed without trouble, or at least much of it. Puzzles proved to be much help for the group by helping with their outfits and makeup on the day of the gala, and when the skirt of Tari’s dress tore accidentally, he was quick to fix it up.

Tari heaved a sigh of relief as Puzzles released her skirt. “Thank you so much, Puzzles. We don't give you enough credit for how much you've helped us.”

“It's no problem!” Puzzles replied, placing the small kit of supplies he had on the kitchen counter. Three was sipping a cup of coffee as he tugged at his best, admiring his reflection in the shiny fridge. Meggy raised an eyebrow. “Enjoying yourself, emo?” Three glared at her as he set down his mug. “I'll let you know that I look fucking awesome, Meggy.” Meggy laughed at this response, and Puzzles rolled his eyes. Four entered the kitchen in his green vest and dark trousers, still wearing the brown boots he usually wears. Three stared at him skeptically. “Dude, you’re still wearing those? Put some damn dress shoes on.”

“I forgot to buy some while we were out, SMG3!” Four growled, and Meggy laughed. Four sighed as he rubbed his eyes tiredly, the back of his gloves displaying a Roman 4 similarly to how Three’s had a Roman 3. “Just... Where’s Mario? Is he still upstairs getting ready?”

“I think he is...” Tari replied, fiddling with her hair that Puzzles had curled for her. Puzzles stepped forward slowly. “I could see if he’s okay?”

“Not in my castle.” Four snapped, glaring at Puzzles angrily. Three quickly stepped forward and pushed Four back while Puzzles recoiled, his hands raised in surrender. “Back off, Four! He was just offering to check on Mario.”

“I’m just saying, I don’t want him doing anything weird! We have to leave soon!”

“Get your head out of the gutter, Four.” Meggy remarked snarkily, and Tari giggled. Four glared at the both of them when the group heard footsteps and humming coming from the stairs, and when they all turned around, they saw Mario in his orange suit, a bright white tie around his neck turned off kilter and a variety of pins and buttons lining the lapel with the sequins. His dark trousers were wrinkled to oblivion at his boots, and he wore his iconic red cap like before, but this time, his hair wasn’t frazzled and his mustache wasn’t a mess of hairs under his nose. He put on a stupid grin and Puzzles hummed, brushing past Three and Four to crouch to Mario’s level and kiss his forehead, the electricity tickling his skin. Four rolled his eyes.

“You look amazing, hun.” Puzzles said softly, and Mario began to fix his tie. Puzzles’ screen flickered. “What are you-”

“You’re still terrible at tying a tie. You didn’t bother to learn in the past 3 days?”

Puzzles laughed. Tari and Meggy awed at the couple while Three smiled, meanwhile Four was looking at his gloves to distract himself. God forbid he look at his rival and best friend share a moment.(smh 4)

When Puzzles finally stood up again, his red tie properly fixed, Four looked up again to see the two holding hands. With a scoff, he made for the door, jingling his keys. “Great, now that we’ve got everything ready, let’s go.”

“Oh, hold on.” Puzzles split from the group and ran upstairs, leaving Four to groan loudly. Three raised an eyebrow skeptically. “What is your issue, dude?” He asked, crossing his arms. Meggy turned Mario’s tie so that it was facing forward, and Mario turned it back to the side of his neck. Meggy shrugged and turned back to the door. “I don’t have an issue, I just want to get going already!”

“It sounds like you’re just annoyed with Puzzles grabbing something at the last minute.”

“I am.”

“I’m back!” Puzzles announced, quickly running down the steps again as he slipped something into his suit. Four stared at him strangely as he took Mario’s hand again, smiling. Four narrowed his eyes at the adware suspiciously before opening the door, stepping outside. The sun was just beginning to set over the horizon of the Showgrounds, and the castle shone with a soothing glow in the fading sunlight. The van they approached was a deep purple, signaling it was Three’s.

Three spun his car keys in his fingers before catching them and pressing a button, prompting the van to beep. “Alright, losers, get in! We've got a ball to attend.”

The castle was just as grand as before. The glass-stained windows varied in all the colors of the rainbow, and the lights inside illuminated the streets outside. Nobles and civilians were gathered at the double doors begging to be let in while knights and security kept them away. When the group finally pulled up to the castle, they were confused.

Meggy fiddled with her dress nervously. “What's the hold up?” She asked, fixing her hair. Her dress stretched down to her knees, and had an off hanging shoulder strap. Around her neck were pearls, shiny and glimmering in the light from inside the castle. Puzzles tilted his head sideways. “Perhaps we can ask one of the knights? They will surely have an answer for us, right?”

“Doubt it, but it's worth a shot.” Four replied, running towards the doors and pushing through the group. The others decided to follow him in curiosity. Four tapped the shoulder of a security guardian facing the windows. When the guard turned around, the crew realized it was Swag with a bruised eye. Three’s eyes widened as he tried to hide a smirk. Puzzles stepped forward worriedly. “Swag! Are you alright?” He asked, pointing to the bruise. Swag blinked in confusion before shrugging it off and turning back around, peeking into the windows. “I’m fine, some kid flung a toy car at me. The Queen is inside getting her dress fixed last minute since it tore. She should be out in a few minutes.”

“Why are you here in the first place?” Four asked, watching the nobles at the doors argue with the knights. He found the situation hilarious, though he dared not show it. Swag stared at him skeptically. “I’m a guard here? I was specially hired by her majesty herself to make sure no troublemakers get in.”

“Then I guess Mario and Puzzles aren’t allowed, huh?” Four joked, straining a smile as he glared at Puzzles. Puzzles didn’t seem to notice his glare, however, as he had chosen to occupy himself by plucking flowers from the bushes around the castle and pinning them to Mario’s suit. Four’s smile dropped as he looked back at Swag, who had an eyebrow raised in suspicion. “No... If anything, I’m more worried about you and your partner hoarding the buffet table.” Swag pointed a finger at Three and Four, to which both guardians took offense and the girls burst into a fit of giggles. Puzzles and Mario looked towards the group in confusion, as they had completely left the conversation as soon as Swag said it would be a minute before the doors opened. Puzzles looked towards Mario as he plucked another flower. “What are they giggling about?” He mumbled, tucking it into the lapel of Mario’s suit. Mario shrugged, and the doors to the castle opened.

A lady dressed in a long, purple ball gown stepped out of the castle as the nobles and knights made way for her, the gem of her crown glistening in the moonlight. She looked around for a moment before turning to the SMG4 crew, and she put on a big smile. “My guests! You’ve arrived!”

“We’ve been here for 10 minutes- gah!” Four felt him be pulled forward by the queen as she shook his hand aggressively, a wide grin on her face. Puzzles and Mario returned to the group as she did this, and when she released his hand, she clasped hers together. “I’m so delighted you all could attend! I’m such a fan of your work!”

“Oh! You- You know who we are?” Three asked curiously, and Puzzles perked up. “Have you heard of something called Journey To Stardom, your majesty?”

Queen Alyssa grinned as she turned towards Mr. Puzzles. “Yes! You must be the script writer! Come in, come in!” She grabbed the adware’s hands and dragged him inside, and as the crew and other guests followed, an excited chatter filled the large ballroom.

As Alyssa dragged the group to a corner of the room, a knight positioned himself at her side, his sword in its sheath and his hand at the pommel. Three swallowed nervously as he turned his attention to the bouncing queen. “Thank you so much for coming, I’ve always wanted to meet you in person!”

“Hah, Queen Alyssa, you had the chance to meet us at the last dance.” Four mentioned, and Alyssa nodded. “I did, but I was mostly looking for him, heh!” Alyssa pointed to Puzzles with a smile, and Puzzles flinched. The group turned to him curiously and he chuckled, and Mario, noticing his anxiety, took his hand gently and smiled. “Thanks for inviting us, Queen Alyssa,” He began, offering his other hand out to shake. Queen Alyssa took it and smiled. “It’s an honor to be here, truly. Now if we could enjoy the night...”

“Ah, of course!” Alyssa released Mario’s hand and waved the crew off, grinning. Four and Three immediately wheeled around and burst for the buffet table, while Tari and Meggy followed them to prevent them from swallowing the whole buffet whole. Mario waved goodbye to the queen as he dragged Puzzles away, though instead of rushing towards the buffet table, he opted for a wall instead. Puzzles crouched to the ground as he held his screen. “Oh my god, I fucked up, didn’t I...”

“What are you talking about, you did fine!” Mario reassured, cupping his hands around his lover’s frame. When Puzzles looked up at him, he saw how he had decorated his lover’s suit with a variety of flowers ranging from roses to carnations to lilacs, all from the gardens outside the castle. The way they glistened in the light coming from the chandelier... Oh, he couldn’t not kiss that face. Puzzles’ screen flipped from worry to contempt as he gazed into Mario’s eyes, leaning into his palms. Mario smiled and chuckled, kissing the screen and feeling the fuzz on his lips.

“Hey, lovebirds!” SMG3 shouted from the buffet table, catching the couple’s attention. Three was holding a glass of wine in his hand as he waved them over, while Meggy and Tari were consuming cupcakes by the minute. Four, weirdly enough, had decided not to eat anything from the table, instead opting to brood facing away from it. Mario shrugged off Four’s strange behavior before pulling Puzzles to his feet and approaching the group.

“Enjoying yourselves yet, homosexuals?” Three asked jokingly, poking Puzzles’ screen before his hand was slapped away. Puzzles rolled his eyes as his expression flipped to annoyance, and Mario chuckled. “The night just began, Three, we haven't even done any- Ooh, muffins!” Mario breezed past Three to reach for a yellow-frosted muffin and took a bite, grinning as he did so. Puzzles sighed as he looked at the Italian, a stupid lovestruck grin on his screen. Three elbowed the adware as he chuckled. “He's gonna steal your brain cells, Puzzles. He's a magnet.”

“And I'm made of metal~” Puzzles responded, fiddling with the knobs on his head again. Three paused as he processed the reply, blinking before grinning again. “You sly motherfucker-”

“SMG3.” Four called out for the guardian, frustrated. “Can you do me a favor and grab a glass for me?” Four forced a smile as he looked at Three, and while Three was confused, he complied with Four’s strange request, grabbing another glass from the table and pouring some wine into it. As he walked to Four with his drink, Meggy and Tari walked over to Mario and began to strike up a conversation, which was hard to keep since Mario was stuffing his face.

As Three handed him his drink, Four grabbed his arm and pulled him close, his expression stern. Three yelped as he felt himself be pulled closer, almost dropping the glass onto the checkered floors. “Wha- Dude what the fu-”

“Don't you think Puzzles is planning something?” Four asked, his voice low. Three’s eyes widened in surprise as he processed the question, catching a glance at Puzzles at the other end of the table. He had a smile on his screen and he was fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves. Three looked back at Four like he was crazy.

“Dude, what the hell?”

“You saw him earlier tucking something into his suit, right?”

“So? It was probably a phone or something!” Three wrested his arm from Four’s grip, causing the wine in the glass to splash onto both of their suits. The crew looked at them in confusion. Four scoffed and walked away from the group, climbing the stairs to the balconies above. Three looked back at the group and shrugged. Puzzles tilted his head worriedly. “Is he okay? Is Four feeling ill?”

“He's probably just being delusional or some shit.” Three answered, grabbing a napkin from the table and dabbing it against the stain on his vest. “Oh...” Puzzles sighed, gripping Mario's hand.

“I hope he's okay.”

Four grumbled as he wiped his vest, staining his gloves with the wine as he tried to clean his suit. “Stupid fucking... Red wine! Ugh!”

Four groaned and turned towards the balcony, leaning over the fence and looking over the guests that were chattering endlessly. He glanced at his friends, who were huddled by the buffet table and stuffing their mouths full of the many treats and wines that the table offered.

His gaze fell onto Mr. Puzzles, and his eyes narrowed in frustration. He knew he was hiding something. He saw him fiddle with the lapel of his suit, how he tugged at his cuffs, he had a secret. Not to mention just before they left the Showgrounds, Puzzles had to grab something of importance before they left. Whatever it was, it wasn't good.

Four watched as Puzzles waved goodbye to the others, and with an intrigued expression, watched him approach Queen Alyssa and talk with her for a moment. He saw him lean down to whisper in her ear, and he noticed how her expression became surprised before turning to glee. He watched Puzzles burst towards the stairs to the opposite balcony, where it was empty and devoid of guests and guards. Four’s brow furrowed as he made his way towards that balcony, circling around the path and avoiding being seen by his friends as he slipped upstairs again.

As he snuck up on Puzzles, hiding behind a pillar, he saw the adware pull a small, black box from his suit, staring at it wistfully as if it were an aged photo. Four’s thoughts began to race. What if it was a remote of some sort? A button that if he pressed, he would explode this castle up, or worse, poor Queen Alyssa?! He had to stop him.

As Puzzles began to put away the box, Four lunged at him, knocking him to the ground and the black box sliding across the floor. Puzzles shrieked as he tried to scramble towards it, but Four quickly shoved him and grabbed it out of reach, holding it away from the adware as he stood up. Puzzles’ expression was mortified. “SMG4! W-What are you doing up here?” He asked nervously, his hands twitching nervously. Four glared at him. “Don't start asking me questions, Puzzles! I knew you were hiding something!” He yelled, gripping the box tighter. Puzzles glanced out over the balcony in worry, and upon finding that nobody had heard the telling, sighed in relief. Four’s eyes twitched.

“Listen, Four, I can explain-”

“Can it, cyborg! Why do you have this?! Is it a remote? Did you plant a bomb somewhere in this castle?!”

“No! How would I be able to do that, I've been with the others this whole time!”

“I saw you talk to Queen Alyssa!”

“Ah-” A heartbeat line spread across Puzzles’ screen as he processed this. Four blinked in confusion at this reaction, and he took the chance to look at the box properly. When Puzzles snapped back to reality, he saw Four trying to open the box, and his fans whirred louder and faster than before. “Four, wait-!”

Four popped open the box, and there he saw a golden ring with a square ruby gem, glimmering in the light of the chandelier. Four’s eyes widened in surprise, he wasn't expecting this. When he looked back up at Mr. Puzzles, he saw the adware trying to hide his expression behind his hands, his fans loudly whirring his head and echoing across the hall. Four blinked as he processed the implications.

“You... You were going to propose to Mario tonight?” Four asked curiously, raising an eyebrow. He didn't understand this at all; Why would Puzzles hide this of all things? Was it a love thing? Puzzles nodded sheepishly, his screen visibly red as he tried to hide it. From what Four could see from behind his hands, Puzzles’ expression was embarrassed and flustered. Speaking of his hands, he had only just noticed a silver band on his finger, with a small diamond right in the center. How had Mario not noticed?

Four’s gaze softened as he looked back at the ring he held in his hands. Why did he feel so guilty now? Puzzles was an enemy; He deserved no sympathy.

But... All he had been thinking about tonight was Mr. Puzzles. What about Mario?

They were the ones that were together, after all. Mario loved Puzzles for more than just his tv abilities. He liked his smile, his voice, his haha; Puzzles liked Mario's personality, his confidence, his humor. They were a great pairing, even with the imperfections and odd past. Why couldn't Four see that?

Four sighed as he closed the box and walked back to Mr. Puzzles, pulling his hands from his face and placing the box in his palms. Puzzles’ screen flickered in confusion as his fans lowered in volume. “Do your proposal.” Four commanded, closing his palms as he crossed his arms. Puzzles stood up in surprise. “I-”

“I'm not gonna fight it. Just- Do your thing. I'll go downstairs to watch it and hang out with the others, just...” Four took a deep breath and smiled, watching as a wide grin spread across Puzzles’ screen. “Just go do it, man.”

“Oh, thank you!” Puzzles dropped down and hugged the guardian tight, causing Four to yelp. Four chuckled as he patted the cyborgs back, and after a moment of them hugging, Puzzles pulled away and ran down the steps. Four soon followed after him, aiming for the buffet table and rejoining the group. Three greeted Four casually. “Hey dude. Are you done being crazy, yet?” He asked jokingly, and Four rolled his eyes. Mario offered the guardian a muffin, grinning as he wiped frosting from his lips. Four laughed and took the muffin, unwrapping the plastic cup and taking a bite. Soon, Puzzles returned to the group and took Mario's hand, leading him out to the middle of the ballroom. Tari and Meggy blinked. “What is he doing?” Meggy asked, taking a sip of her wine.

“Beats me.” Three replied, watching as Puzzles kneeled to the floor to be level with the Italian. This wasn’t a strange sight to see with the crew, or anyone in general; Puzzles was extremely tall, and Mario was just over 5 feet tall, so of course, Puzzles would crouch and kneel to have proper conversations with his boyfriend.

A ringing noise echoed across the ballroom, startling all of the guests as everyone turned their attention to Queen Alyssa holding a microphone.

“Attention, guests! Thank you all dearly for attending my coronation party! It is truly an honor to have you all here!” Alyssa beamed with excitement as she bounced slightly up and down, her dress flowing with her movements. “Now, for most of you that attended the last gala that my father held, the schedule is the same; We’ll all gather in the middle of the ballroom and pair up with our partners to do a spin and waltz to end the night! But first...” Alyssa pointed at Puzzles and Mario, directing the crowd's attention to them. “One of our guests had something to say.”

The room fell silent. Some guests began to mumble among themselves, though the crew near the buffet table was silent. “What is going on?” Three asked quietly, glancing at Four. Four shrugged and raised his hands. Puzzles sighed as he took his lover's hands, gripping them tight as he gazed into Mario's eyes lovingly. Mario smiled.

Puzzles took a deep breath. “Mario, you have made me the luckiest, happiest guy in the world. Every experience we've shared, the memories, those endless conversations, I've cherished every single one of them.” Puzzles cupped his palm around the Italian's cheek, and Mario immediately leaned into his hand, grinning as he continued to stare at Puzzles. The adwares fans spun faster. “These past 6 months with you have been a delight. I would never trade you for anything else, 5 stars or otherwise.” Those words stung SMG4 like a bullet. He really thought Puzzles was still looking for fame after all this time, but he was wrong. Despite the sting, Four continued to watch with a smile.

Puzzles pulled his hand away from Mario’s cheek and reached into his suit, rummaging through it before pulling out the black box he had before. Mario's eyes widened slightly as the gears began to turn in his head. “Are you-”

“Mario, my love, my sun, my star, I want to spend every moment with you for the rest of my life, until my fans stop spinning and my heart stops beating.” Puzzles opened the box and revealed the golden ring, prompting the guests, and the crew at the table, to gasp. “Holy fucking shit.” Three mumbled as he uncrossed his arms, setting his glass of wine down on the table before wringing his hands. Tari and Meggy began to squeal with excitement. Four let his smile grow wider.

“Mario...” Puzzles began, taking the ring from the box and shutting it. “Will you... Marry me?” Puzzles hesitated muttering the fateful words, but when he finally got them out, Mario began to bounce up and down. He was smiling from ear to ear, his eyes wide and glimmering with excitement. “Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes!!" Mario tackle-hugged the adware in excitement, crying and laughing at the same time as tears welled up in his eyes. Puzzles’ screen flickered at the response before he burst out laughing, scooping up the Italian and spinning him around as they filled the ballroom with their laughter. The crowd of guests burst into cheers and clapping, and Tari and Meggy squealed. “Oh my god!!” Tari explained, grabbing Meggy by the shoulders and shaking her. Meggy laughed as they hugged each other, and Three laughed. “Holy shit, Four, are you seeing this?!” He asked, looking at the guardian. He was surprised to see that Four was smiling at the couple, watching them spin about. “Yeah, I am seeing it. And for once...”

“I don't feel angry to see it.”

The dance came to a close, the music ending on a high note as the crowd dispersed. Puzzles and Mario immediately dashed towards the buffet table, where Tari and Meggy greeted them with open arms. Mario tackled Meggy excitedly, the two squeezing each other as they squealed. Tari bounced up and down as she stared at the ring on Puzzles’ finger, admiring the gem that sat on the silver. Three had begun complimenting the cyborg incessantly, and while Four remained silent during it all, he gave Mario an approving nod when the Italian glanced at him.

“I'm so happy for you two!” Meggy exclaimed, waving her hands up and down. Puzzles chuckled sheepishly as he tugged at his suit jacket. “Ah, well, mmm.” For once, the address didn't have a response, though he didn't need one; Mario was happy doing all of the talking for him. “I know! This is- Ahahah! We're finally getting married!” Mario flapped his arms up and down excitedly, and Three clapped Puzzles on the back. “Good going, dude! Takes a lot of courage to do that in front of so many people.”

“Ah- Well, it's not my first time doing something like that in front of an audience, eh...” Puzzles laughed shyly as Mario jumped up and kissed him on the vent, prompting the adware to burst into shy giggles. Queen Alyssa approached the group with a wide grin. “I'm so happy for you two!” She announced, taking Mario's hands and shaking them. “I'm glad you could trust me with such an important event to set the mood for, Puzzles!”

The crew stared at him for a moment. Mario and Three burst into laughter while Tari just stared at him in shock. “You went to the queen to set up your proposal?!” She blurted, and Puzzles nodded. “I-It was just a favor! Nothing more...”

“Don't stress about it, Puzzles.” Four said, walking up to him and resting his hand on his forearm. Puzzles looked down at him in surprise. “You two are a great couple.” Four put on a smile as he raised his thumb at the adware, and Puzzles’ screen flickered as he grinned.

This was the best night they'd ever had.

#tumblr lagged like crazy while i edited this to not include the italics htmls #but heres your marware #btw ill prob delete this later #marware

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deltaruinedcoco37 · 6 months ago

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SplatoonMG4 CHAPTER 6: Hotlantis/Ammo Knights

(Third person)

The Ammo Knights door swung open, and that same magenta Octoling from earlier entered the store. SMG3 looked up from his weapon, and instantly recognized her- that was the Runic-speaking girl, he thought.

"Hey, welcome to... Ammo Knights," Belle said, after checking which side of the store the newcomer was standing in. "You need a weapon? Registration? Something?"

The girl smiled. "Yeah, I need a registration so I can win some battles. This is where I get that, right?"

Belle nodded, getting out some papers to fill out. She gave some to the magenta Octoling and some to SMG3, since Three also needed them, and then went back to her seat and pulled out a Nintendo Switch.

Ahem.

Belle didn't look up.

AHEM-

"What is it?!" Belle groaned as the girl finally got her attention. "What do you want?"

The girl glared at her. "You haven't explained anything to me. Isn't that a part of your job?!"

Belle walked up to the Octoling and pointed at the spot on the paper that said 'NAME.' "Okay, so there's where you put your name," she said. "You know your name, right? You know how to write, right?"

The Octoling looked offended. "OF COURSE I know my own name! Desti! The soon-to-be Splatfest champion- well, not yet... but I need this registration to get there."

SMG3 turned back to his own paper, but couldn't help overhearing Desti and Belle's conversation.

Desti grumbled to herself in Runic as she filled out the paper. "Beyond me how this lady is employed... no matter how much she gets paid, it's definitely too much for how much work she's ACTUALLY doing-"

"Oi!" Belle snapped. "I may not know every script, but I know enough of yours to know what you just said. Do you really want to make me, the biggest Turf weapon seller, kick you out of here?! No one you can complain to, either. I'm self-employed, you know!"

Apparently Four was listening in too, because he decided to speak up. "But you're not self-employed, Belle-"

"shUTTHEFUCKUP-"

~~~

After a few minutes of bickering, Desti finally got her Turf War registration card (while SMG3 didn't because he was distracted with the Belle-and-Desti-drama). She looked at it happily, with a look in her eye that said "I'm going to kick some people in the balls today and then shoot them with high-pressure ink weapons!!!"

"Thanks, old lady! Hey, what does this mean?" Desti asked, pointing to a unchecked box on her card. It was marked "FIRST WEAPON."

Belle looked at the card for a second"That? Oh, when you first register, you can pick out a free weapon from Ammo Knights. But I'm not sure you'll get one, for that remark." She took Desti's card back and checked the box.

SMG3 rolled his eyes. Now that he had a little while to listen to Desti, he recognized that accent. She was probably from The Crater- AKA, the Octarian civilization underneath Splatsville. That checked out, if she knew both Runic and Square script well.

"Whatever, I already have a Blaster. I don't need whatever garbage you have," Desti said as she left Ammo Knights. As soon as she was out of the store, Belle let out a sigh of relief.

~~~

Welp, time for SMG3's boring papery stuff. At least the Inkling society has its shit together way more than the Octarians... this doesn't look like it'll take that long.

SMG3 turned to Four to ask him, "Can I use Sign script?" Four nodded, and SMG3 went back to the paper. Thankfully, it was already in Sign, so Four wouldn't have to explain anything to him.

"Oh, yeah," Four laughed, pointing to the part of the paper where SMG3 would fill out his name. "They don't need your birth certificate or anything, so I guess that's probably good in your situation, but once you put it down it's kinda hard to change. What're you gonna write?"

'Really? Anyone can just... choose their own Turf name here, huh? Wow... imagine if some nine-year-old put in some cringe-ass name like "darkXwolf17" or something-' Four's question pulled Three back out of his thoughts, though. What would it be?

There were a few ideas he had...

'Jamie'

"Jamie? Is that your real name?"

SMG3 had almost forgotten that Four was there... Why did that keep happening?! Damn, hopefully this whole thing where he kept getting lost in thought wasn't related to the fact that he hadn't heard the Calamari Inkantation yet and his mind wasn't really 100% free of Octarian brain fuckery (FORESHADOWI-)

"Uh- I guess so... but when I started that job in Octoling Strike, people started calling me SMG3, or Three, or some kind of generic string of like... letters or numbers. I guess." To be honest, Three thought it sounded strange, after so many years of not hearing the name. But it was familiar.

Four peered over SMG3's shoulder, watching the Octoling write. He watched as SMG3 pondered the 'gender' line.

"Question: So let's say that I wasn't born a guy, but at one point in my life I pressed "X," and then brought up the menu and then clicked "Player Settings" and changed that so I was a guy?"

"Three, that was incomprehensible- But, uhh... you get to pick a lot of these things yourself, so just write whatever you want." Four kept watching him write, noticing how his handwriting was thin and loopy, since Three would be used to Runic Script. As much as Four tried not to think about it, he couldn't help but notice tiny details whenever his Octoling friend did things.

Three's just an interesting person, it's completely normal to notice the little details about people. Nothing wrong with that, not like it's happening to Four so often he's starting to become self-conscious about it. OH WAIT

"There... I think that's it." SMG3 showed Four the papers he had filled out surprisingly quickly, because he's a fast writer and definitely not because Coco (author) doesn't wanna keep writing this scene!!

Belle came back over to the two gay cephalopods and looked over SMG3's information for a few seconds, before taking it into the back of the store and (presumably) copying some of it onto a card. She emerged about a minute later, giving SMG3 his shiny new Turf War card.

"Congratulations, you're now allowed to shoot people with high-pressure ink weapons."

~~~

Three and Four left the weird store, walking over to the entrance to the Turf Lobby.

"You wanna try Turf War today, or wait?" Four asked. Even though he pretty much already knew the answer.

SMG3 scoffed. "You really think I would wanna pass up the chance to use my fresh new weapon? Just think of all the BOMBS!!!" Three cackled like a villain as he tested out the Kensa Octobrush he got at Ammo Knights, splattering the targets around him with ink and flinging Suction Bombs all around him.

Four chuckled to himself, watching SMG3 get ready as they waited to be put into a match. The Octoling had seemed like a quiet person at first, but all the exciting new things he was doing brought out his true self. A confident inkfish who... wasn't actually too bad at handling a Brush, for how little experience he had. It was cute when he looked so happy (in a platonic way, of course. Of course.)

"Hey!" A blue-haired Inktoling working at Crab-N-Go (whose nametag read "Karen") called out to all the cephalopods in the lobby. "Next match is open!"

"Ready for this?" Four asked Three. "How are you feeling so far?"

"Never better," Three responded. "I'm gonna win this!"

~~~

Previous (Ch. 5)

Next (Ch. 7) [UPCOMING]

#terseva's notebook #smg4 #smg3 #smg34 #smg4 au #splatoon #splatoonmg4 #splatmg4 #fanfic #smg4 smg3

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mrfellsans · 5 months ago

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I think I broke my toe

Went to sky zone and kicked a ball wrong

Now I'm suffering the consequences 🌚

FREAKING LAST TIME I WENT I ALMOST BROKE MY LEG IT'S LIKE I'M GETTING HURT EVERYTIME I PULL UP TO SKY ZONE

Sobs

Anywho here is some smg3 pictures from when I went to the park

My toe hurts like hell

#selever talks #selever news #maybe broken idk yet #pray for me #smg3 plush

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midnight1nk · 4 days ago

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EPISODE CONCEPT #9

What if... Mario was in Sonic Movie 3?

[more below cut] LINKS: Wattpad and AO3 For context, since Sonic 3 is coming out, here's some silly goofs! though, FAIR WARNING: (1) very low effort than usual, (2) all based on pieces from the trailers and past SMG4 episodes, (more in tags). May have done this while in a fever dream. This is mostly just for fun, so onward!

Just a boring day. Well, for some exemptions.

Cozy was in their own home, Mario was currently laughing at passing memes on the TV while Luigi washed the dishes from their recent dinner. Spaghetti, naturally. And it was indeed a regular old day in the SMG4 universe, until Sonic spin-balled through the window.

Mario turned over from the couch to see the blue hedgehog in the room. He waved. "Hey, dude! Wassup?"

Sonic says, frantically, "Mario, I need your help!"

-x-FLASHBACK NOISES-x-

Team Sonic was strolling around on their Japan trip, with Sonic wearing a birthday hat on. The three have visited many sights and experiences and the most memorable ones include: Sonic standing over the Tokyo Tower, eating from an awesome hole-in-the-wall ramen shop, Knuckles spotting and fangirling over Hatsune Miku, who just happened to be in a friendly outing with Boopkins ("HATSUNE MIKU?! IS THAT YOU? "), shopping through Shibuya...

To end Sonic's birthday on a special note, they went to eat dinner at the Chaos Garden restaurant. But just as the kitchen staff was bring Sonic a surprise cake for him, chaos ensued outside. Of course, heroes being heroes, it's up to Team Sonic to deal with it. What they didn't expect was to a familiar figure looming over them, holding out a green Chaos Emerald.

"Here it is, the Constitution."

-x-PRESENT DAY NOISES-x-

"Here, look!" Sonic took the TV remote and switched the channel to "BREAKING NEWS". On the screen, Shadow stands over robot scraps in the middle of the ruined Shibuya streets.

"Shadow the Hedgehog?"

"My ex-fiancé."

Mario looks at Sonic, shocked.

Sonic clarifies, "Yeah, before Swag, we were supposed to get married but... he didn't show up." He looks away, sad. "My birthday today just happened to fall on the same day of our wedding years ago. Uh... anyway, Knuckles and Tails are still the hospital right now and I could use some hand."

Hearing this, Mario feels sympathetic for what Sonic went through and, he jumps with now filled determination. Ready for action. "Don't worry, Sonic. I got you! Let's go kick some a**!"

Sonic smiles in gratitude, trying mirroring his determination. "Alright!" He gives a thumbs-up before saying wearily, "By the way, Swag's going to give us a lift."

Right on cue, Swag bursts into the wall with a tank. "Here comes Independence Day!"

Chris also pops out. "...Shadow isn't an alien."

"Yes he is. Chris, let me have this!" Swag uncomfortably waves at Sonic like kid in trouble. "Hi, honey."

Sonic shakes his head. Mario looks at the pair confused but decided to not question anything yet. The hedgehog and the plumber jump in.

Sonic says, "Here we.........GO!"

Chris presses the start button and the tank goes in reverse. In an agonizing slow pace.

"Mamaf**ker!"

-x-TIME CUT-x-

The group finally catches up to Shadow, who's riding a motorcycle and a gun in hand. Sonic spin-balls out of the tank and chases after him through the busy traffic, while also being noticed by the people walking by.

"Hey, Shadow!" Sonic greets. "Long time no see!"

"That was an illegal left, by the way!" Random guy says, seeing the two hedgehogs speeding by.

They continue on as a giant flying squid-like robot comes into view, forcing the camera to look at it face-to-face for a second.

SQUID

And even SMG4, SMG3, Meggy, and Tari saw them.

Meggy asks, "Wait, was that Shadow the Hedgehog?"

SMG3 does admire Shadow's sense of style but...

"It is! He looks so cool," Four says in awe and looks over to Three, wondering if his guardian partner had any thoughts. Only to see Three turned away and Four could tell that he was pouting. "SMG3, are you... jealous?"

"What? NO! Shadow may be Sonic's rival, but he is nothing compared to me."

"Sure, dude," Four hums, slipping into an amused expression. "Relax, you're still my number one rival."

Three paused before looking over to him, surprised and touched. "Wait, really?"

Cutting back to Shadow and Sonic, in the middle of a conversation...

"Don't you call my highlights gay!"

"They are pretty gay."

"This doesn't involve you, hedgehog," Shadow warns. "If y'know what's good for you, leave me be."

Sonic huffed, bitter, "I thought you already did that, faker."

Triggered by the nickname, Shadow shoots at Sonic, who of course is able to dodge every time. Shadow already knew that he would, it was just to buy him time. Coming in to help, Mario jumps towards Shadow. Unfortunately, Shadow sped up and Mario landed on Sonic's face, blinding the poor blue hedgehog. While Sonic tried to move Mario out of his face, he knocked out many things: people, memes, and a seller who just happened to be selling cabbages.

"My cabbages!"

Shadow, looking over his shoulder to see Chris and Swag catching up. He calls out to Swag, simply wanting to rile the man up, "I peed on you wife! She's mine. That's the law!"

He takes a different route while Sonic manages to hold onto Mario by the hand, losing Shadow in the process.

Sonic screeched to a halt, looking around. "Oh no, we lost him."

"Aw man, sorry about that," Mario apologized.

Then, a crackle over the radio.

"Sonic, Mario," Chris said. "Looks like we might have some idea what Shadow may be up to and there's a chance to stop him."

Swag joins in. "Augh, that hedgehog... Do you want us to pick you guys up?"

Considering the circumstances, Sonic sighs. "No, we'll just take the helicopter."

Just as the plot demands, a government helicopter comes by, and the two jump on as they head to Prison Island.

"Say, Sonic," Mario asks. "Not to intrude but what's going on between you and Swag?"

"Oh well, we... haven't been doing great recently. Ever since the start of our relationship, I've been trying to make it work. But..." Hidden shame and guilt showed as Sonic continued to confess, "I guess everything has been falling apart since the start after all."

Mario puts a hand on his back to comfort his friend.

"Thanks, Mario."

-x-TIME CUT-x-

At a secret hideout, Shadow walks into a control room where Eggman was waiting of him. Pulling out the stolen Constitution and that fourth damn Chaos Emerald, Shadow hands them over. "There. I got what you wanted."

"Oh hoho. At last, with the power of the Eclipse Canon, I shall rule the world." Eggman chuckles as he rubs his hands together. "And everyone will be able to watch my splatoon 2 let's play's by Eggman." He could already imagine the fame and glory he always wanted.

Shadow rolls his eyes and turns around to leave. "I can finally go to Mexico for my vacation."

"Where do you think you're going, c*cker?"

"I don't talk to people whose d*cks are less than 3 inches."

"Listen to me, motherf**cker!" Eggman scolds. "You really thought I forgot about you peeing on my wife?"

Shadow smirks. "And I'll do it again!" He quickly pulls out his phone, out of Eggman's sight, and posts something on Twitter. Then he runs away.

"What the actual sh*t? WHAT?" Eggman shouts, confused, before getting a notification on his phone. "WHO POSTED MY N*DES ON TWITTER DOT COM?!"

-x-TIME CUT-x-

Shadow is in hiding, having all of Prison Island's wildlife to run around. Following down a curved path (with a loop-de-loop in it), he jumps up into the air. Though he wasn't alone, just as he does, Sonic crosses him while holding Mario's hand.

Their forms make an "X" shape with the moon shining in the background. Ah, the good old days.

The two land on opposite sides, Sonic and Mario on the ground with Shadow on a thick fallen tree branch.

Shadow mutters under his breath, "That blue hedgehog again of all places..."

"I found you, faker!"

"Faker? I think you're the fake hedgehog around here. You're comparing yourself to me? Ha, you're not even good enough to be my fake."

The two lock eyes like a Western standoff, waiting for the other to make the first move. Sonic and Shadow, fueled by anger, lunged at each other... before getting into a kitty fight. Mario with widened eyes, merely sighs. By all the memes, they act so much like Three and Four.

Suddenly, a punch of fire from a red blur knocks Shadow away from Sonic. It's Knuckles.

"WOAH!" Mario shouted. "THE FLAMES OF DISASTER!"

"We're here to help you, Sonic!" Tails also comes into the scene, flying with his two tails, alongside Chris and Swag on a chopper.

Swag announced, "You activated my trap card!"

The group circles around Shadow, not giving him a chance to escape. As the hedgehog gets up, Mario confronts him. "Dude, you're such a jerk for what you did to Sonic. You guys could've been happy!"

Shadow huffed, "Happy? I could've been if it weren't for what Sonic did to me." His mind drifts off to reminisce. "I promised Maria that I would be happy one day..."

-x-FLASHBACK BUBBLE-x-

From the capsule launched from the Ark, Shadow from the past peered through the glass.

Maria's voice echoed in his mind, "Shadow, remember: furries are second-class citizens..."

"Maria..."

Insert green screen explosion.

-x-BUBBLE FADES AWAY-x-

"I didn't even do anything to you," Sonic said. He takes a step forward and points at him. "This doesn't change you leaving me at the altar..."

Shadow blinked. "Me? You're the one who left me hanging!"

Everyone else seemed to follow suit. "...Wha?"

"Don't you remember? I've been trying to call you all morning that day!"

-x-FLASHBACK NOISES-x-

Shadow has been panicking all morning, the chaos of this last-minute wedding. The two hedgehogs aren't exactly good planners, they were just so excited to get married. In both of his hands, Shadow held up a white bowtie and a wedding dress, unsure what to pick. He scrambled to his phone and called Sonic on speed dial.

"Sonic, which one of us is the bride?" he asked out loud, shaking the phone in his hands. "Sonic? Sonic, I need an answer!"

Unfortunately, at the same time, Sonic was already at the altar. With his phone turned off for the ceremony. Shadow didn't know. He hurried to the altar, wearing both a bowtie and a dress, too late to find out that Sonic wasn't there. Sonic had already left, thinking Shadow didn't want to marry him.

-x-PRESENT DAY NOISES-x-

Everyone stares at each other as the realization settles in. After all this time, it was a misunderstanding.

Mario's mustache has grown comically big. "...oh."

"...wait, I guess it does," Sonic mumbles under this breath.

Standing up, Shadow says, "I tried to move on. I know you did too. But Sonic, could you give me another chance? For us?"

"Shadow, I..." Sonic glances back over to Swag before hanging his head low. "...I can't."

A ping from Mario's phone chimes in. Then, a sudden chain of pings came from everyone else's phones.

"A Nintendo Direct?"

Just as the Direct voiceover finishes announcing a game, unexpected news comes up.

youtube

"What's this?" the Voiceover questioned. "Doctor Eggman has his own announcement?"

Eggman appears at the screen, who clearly looks drunk. "I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT: SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG'S A B*TCH*SS MOTHERF**KER, HE PISSED ON MY F**KING WIFE!"

The scene cuts to Frankie watching the Direct on TV with a mortified expression. "Mommy?"

"THAT'S RIGHT HE TOOK HIS HEDGEHOG F**KIN' QUILLY D*CK OUT AND BE PISSED ON MY F**KIN WIFE, AND HE SAID HIS D*CK WAS THIS BIG. AND I SAID 'THAT'S DISGUSTING'. SO I'M MAKING A CALL-OUT POST ON MY TWITTER DOT COM: SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG, YOU GOT A SMALL D*CK. IT'S THE SIZE OF THIS WALNUT EXCEPT WAY SMALLER!" He does indeed hold up a walnut to the camera. "AND GUESS WHAT'S HERE'S WHAT MY DONG LOOKS LIKE."

A sound wave from the sky turned everyone's attention to the Ark orbiting by the edge of the horizon. It has "Robotnik" all over it.

"THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. LOOK AT THAT, IT LOOKS LIKE TWO BALLS AND A BONG." The Eclipse Cannon charges up. "HE F**KED MY WIFE SO GUESS WHAT? I'M GONNA F**K THE EARTH! THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET: MY SUPPER LASER PISS. EXCEPT I'M NOT GONNA PISS ON THE EARTH, I'M GONNA GO HIGHER..."

The laser fires, passing over the stratosphere and...

"I'M PISSING ON THE MOON!"

The moon explodes, half of it completely destroyed.

"HOW YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!"

The feed cuts to Obama's live reaction, confused by the cameras shoved in his face.

"YOU GOT 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE F**KIN EARTH! NOW, GET OUT MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO—"

But just as he's about to start the timer, he accidentally presses the self-destruct button.

"...f**k."

The Ark shakes wildly before it starts to plummet into the planet. The Direct abruptly ends as the voiceover is still stunned by what happened. "Was...was that part of the Direct?

The group slowly turned to Shadow wanting an explanation. Shadow gulped. "...well, sh*t, I only said that just to f**k with him."

Everyone screams, terrified that they're gonna die. It includes the group, who are unsure what to do. Except for Sonic and Shadow, who looked over each other a give a knowing nod.

Sonic turns to the red plumber, "Mario, we need a way to get to space."

"Okay-dokey!" Mario smiles with determination. He pulls out a cannon out of thin air.

Sonic and Shadow jump in it and by a hit from Mario, they get launched into the sky in their spin-ball form and go through the Ark like bullets, making the orbiting society explode into a million pieces (yes, another green screen explosion).

It's Out of This Park! (wii sports music plays)

The world cheered as the two hedgehogs and Eggman fall back to the planet. Crashing back on Prison Island, Sonic was the first to get up. He was always so resilient. Swag, naturally worried for his wife, ran up to him. But Sonic didn't even notice Swag or his own bruises and ran over to check up on Shadow.

"Shadow?" Worry washed over Sonic. "Dude, don't give up. Please."

With a cough, Shadow wakes up, holding his head as if all he got was a headache. "Augh, I'm not dead, hedgehog."

Sonic nevertheless was relieved Shadow was okay. Seeing how Sonic was with Shadow, Swag found himself deep in thought as memories (good and bad) of his relationship crossed his mind. As much as Shadow's pleas were shown on his face, Sonic reluctantly had to say goodbye.

Sonic, walking past Swag, headed towards the tank. "C'mon, let's go..." Noticing that Swag hasn't moved an inch, he stops and turns. "Swag?"

"My dear, do you still love Shadow?"

Sonic could only respond with silence, guilt and self-conflict mushed together. Swag goes up to him, kneels down and puts his polygonal hands on Sonic's shoulders.

"Sonic. As they say, if you really love someone, you let them go. I love you but I want you to be free and have a chance to be happy."

Shocked and perhaps still registering those words, Sonic asks, "Are...are you sure?"

Swag nods. A new emotion filled Sonic's heart, prompting him to give Swag a grateful hug. "Thank you, Swag. I hope you have a chance to find your happiness too."

After a moment, the two part, in their way a farewell. Sonic runs up to Shadow with tears welling in his eyes. Sad to break it off with Swag, relieved that he doesn't have to hurt their relationship anymore. Happy to rekindle past love.

"Shadow!"

Shadow, whose back was towards Sonic, turned to see. Only for Sonic to wrap his arms around his neck and kiss him. While he was surprised by it at first, he soon fluttered his eyes closed and kissed back.

[OG credits to: Myly14]

I love you.

Swag observes from afar. Chris comes from behind and puts a hand on his friend's shoulder for comfort as Swag sheds a tear.

Wiping it away, Swag reassures, "It's okay, Chris. I'll be okay, I know he'll be too."

-x-TIME CUT-x-

In Three's Coffee and Bombs, Mario was introducing the hedgehog couple (currently holding hands) to the cafe, on their tour of the Showgrounds.

"SMG3 makes the best coffee around," Mario proudly says before leaning over to Shadow. "Plus, quality weapons."

Shadow slips up a curious smile and seeing it, Sonic shakes his head full of fond. Their relationship will take a lot to heal but the two of them know they could do it. Getting coffee seems like a good start. But of course, Shadow would only order the coffee beans. Before them was Four telling his order to Three.

"One Cyanide Supreme Latte with ten shots of expresso—"

"And five spoons of sugar," Three finishes that sentence for Four. "Yeah, yeah. I already know your order, scrub." He picks up the usual blue mug with constellations. "But you don't think you're getting special treatment."

"C'mon! Aren't I your most loyal customer?" Four flutters his eyes with a cheeky smile. Three tries to look away, Four knew how to push his buttons. "Besides, you do owe me a latte, remember?"

"Did not."

"Did to."

Sonic tries to be discreet, leaning over to Mario and gesturing at Four. "Woah, he's bisexual. I didn't know that."

Mario and Shadow nod in agreement. Though Sonic must've been a little too loud for both Four and Three to look in their direction. While Three completely short-circuited at the implications, an embarrassed Four lunged at Mario, telling him to not say anything about what's going on between him and Three.

Well, it really was just another boring day, with a few exemptions.

///

Ink here! Still in the middle of the fever dream, aha. Hope that brings a happy ending for everyone. Remember, no movie spoilers for other people and me (gonna see it over the weekend). Let's see how much of this I got right for the official version. :P

#smg4 #smg4 mario #smg4 sonic #smg4 swag #smg34 #< but in the bg 👀#ink episode concepts #fair warnings: no movie spoilers #lot of fandub and sonic references/memes #divorce arc 👀#“wait what?” what's likely gonna happen in the movie is gonna happen here #also sonadow canon?!?!?!#so sonadow warning ig [*shrugs*]#hey the Team changed things for Knuckles #(yeah I'm sick but dw I'm good 👍)

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