#keyblades are torture life is pain

[rosie-kairi]

Man the way KH brainrot has me going insane, especially khux and having ven shoot up from top 5 characters all the way to number 1, like he's the most tragic character and I can't get over it (i will fight anyone who says its not ven they're wrong).

Like in unchained x he's likely 8 years old, no wonder he always considered himself not very good and didn't have friends. All the keyblade wielders are preteens and teens none of them want to train a 8 year old from the ground up which sucks because we know by bbs he's actually very strong and a talented wielder.

Then we fast forward 2 years to union x and it was only recently pointed out to me that has he not replaced strelitzia he likely would've fought in the keyblade war. He narrowly escaped dying as a child soilder at 10 in war and the universe saw that and decided to make his life worse for it. Because then we find out the original darkness took advantage of him and the guilt nearly ate him alive he was willing to let his own surrogate brother strike him down as righteous justice. But when that didn't happen he then willingly jumped into a fight he knew he would lose to save his friends at 11 years old. Ven is a baby! He's too young for all this! And then he never sees his friends the only family he's ever known again! What the fuck!

And then the poor kid gets screwed over even more because a maniacal old man has been obsessed with his visage his whole life and he gets trained tortured for a year and when xehanort can't mold ven into his perfect weapon he just straight up murders him! Ven is only 12 and this is the second attempt on his life! He barely survived and then gets placed in the care of his old friends grandson that he does not know or remember and then is almost killed by him (god poor ven the memories are too painful to bear) and then he's lied to about losing his new friends and forced into a fight to the death. Once again Ven willingly enters a fight he knows will end badly for him to save his friends and he's 16! That's 4 murder attempts now!

And then poor Ven is left in an enchanted coma for 12 years since radiant garden doesn't fall for another year and then 9 years go by until KH I and then Sora goes to sleep for a year after COM, and then when he finally wakes up it's to fight in the war he barely escaped from as a child.

And only now post Melody of Memory he reaches 17 by a miracle but it seems the fortellers and MoM are the new big bads so I can only imagine what horrors wait for Ven. Poor kid barely escaped childhood and has had years of his life stolen from him like Ven cannot catch a goddamn break and he lives rent free in my head I think about his overarching story too long and I can feel the madness set in.

Totally!!!! Nothing but bad times are coming for this kid in the coming saga. There's the stress of looking for Sora, of course, but then after everyone let's their guard down DARING to believe that they'll get some peace and quiet for once in their lives THESE assholes with the animal masks and the unbelievably strong keyblades show up and Ventus recognizes them somewhat. And then that leads to him slowly getting his memories back and he remembers what happened to him in the past. He'll collapse from the weight of it all!!!

Ventus is so. Everything to me. I think he's probably my favorite character in the "mainline" series proper. You can fit SO much horrific experiences inside of this little blonde boy

[phoenix-downer]

Compelled to Act

3325 words. Sora/Kairi. Post-Canon. Kairi POV. Grief/Mourning, Survivor's Guilt, Angst, Romance, Hope. For SoKai Day 2023: The Future.

Summary: As Kairi grapples with her grief and guilt, she has a dream about Sora in Quadratum. She might not be able to speak, but he has so many things he wants to say.

What if we don’t succeed?

It was a thought Kairi hardly allowed herself. They would save Sora. They had to. It wasn’t a question of if, but when. To admit otherwise would mean she would have to face her grief, that she couldn’t keep running and hiding, then sleeping and searching, and now pouring herself into her training instead.

“There is no right way to grieve,” her mother had told her the morning after Sora’s disappearance, when she was crying so much she thought she would break into a million pieces and never be whole again. How could she be whole when she’d lost the person she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with? She knew she and Sora were young, that the adults would patronizingly tell them to wait a few more years and see if they could really go the distance with their infuriatingly smug smiles. Young love, it never lasts, they would say. Except sometimes it does. Sometimes you meet the right person young and get to enjoy growing old together. She knew she and Sora truly loved each other and would’ve gone the distance.

“You have to grieve on your own terms,” her mother had said the day after that, when Kairi still didn’t want to get out of bed. “The pain will never fully go away, but it’ll get lighter. You’ll learn to live with it.”

Well, Kairi didn’t want to learn to live without Sora. That was the entire point. And while she knew plenty of people felt irrational guilt over the death of their loved ones, her guilt was entirely rational. It really should have been her instead. The only reason it wasn’t was because Sora had intervened and substituted himself in her place instead.

The tear-streaked faces of their friends made her question his decision. Everyone would be happier if it were me and not you. So why did you do it?

She summoned her Keyblade and focused on the nearby dummy Aqua had set out. A cool evening breeze tugged at her hair and clothes. The Land of Departure was beautiful with its ponds and starlit skies and sprawling castle halls full of history, and she enjoyed living here. It was just strange how the entire universe kept chugging along like one of its brightest lights going missing wasn’t a problem.

A wall of red-hot flames erupted from her Keyblade and struck the dummy. All of her anger and rage at Sora’s disappearance (she couldn’t bring herself to say death) channeled into a nice clean burst of flame. The dummy was well and truly charred afterwards, as was the nearby grass. She examined her handiwork with grim satisfaction. So much for having only a heart of pure light. More like an existence that brings total destruction and death.

That’s all I’m good for, getting the people I love hurt and killed. She was training further so she wouldn’t be such a burden, but what was the point? Even if she did see Sora again, he was better off without her. If he got too close to her again, he’d just get hurt and tormented and tortured and killed. Again.

She lifted her Keyblade once more. It was a good thing Riku was the one who had gone after Sora. He was actually good at saving him. At helping him. For all his issues with darkness, Riku was much better at healing and restoring people than she was.

She smiled wryly. If Riku was what monsters feared, if he was the one who consumed Sora’s nightmares, then she was an angel of death, a siren luring Sora to his doom. Looks and appearances were deceiving. Everyone thought Riku was the villain, the problem. All along it had been her.

A moment later, water shot out of her Keyblade and doused the charred dummy. She absently wondered if all her tears for Sora would match the amount of water that had just swallowed the dummy in its relentless onslaught. There had been so many of them and they’d come in powerful, intense bursts until she’d gone to sleep to search for clues as to his whereabouts. Now that she was awake again, there wasn’t as much crying anymore, but grief bursts still hit her every now and then. Still engulfed her in their powerful waves and cast her adrift until she found something to cling to, something to ground her.

She reached into her pocket and grasped the Wayfinder that Aqua had given to her. It was pink and purple and made with care, and feeling its smooth glassy surface kept her in the moment.

Did Sora still have her lucky charm? She could only hope so. Did he even remember who she was? Who he was? That was the question. He was in some other realm, but what was his existence even like? And how was it any different from death, really? Torn apart from all the people he loved and separated from them by a wide gulf. That was what death was, separation of the soul from the body, of the self from one’s loved ones.

She assumed his soul and his body were still one, but he was far from them, so while he might not be truly dead, it didn’t seem like he was really alive, either. And even if Riku did find him, how in the worlds was he supposed to bring Sora back? Sora had broken a nature taboo, and she doubted Death would relinquish its prize without a fight.

Riku, don’t do anything stupid, please, she silently begged. She knew Riku was careful and a lot more measured and guarded than she and Sora were, but she still couldn’t help but worry.

After another round with the dummy that left it electrified and then frozen solid, she decided to give the poor thing a break from her wrath and call it a night. Dinner had happened hours ago with Terra, Aqua, Ven, and Chirithy, so it was time for bed now. She stopped by the castle’s kitchen briefly to grab a quick snack and then trekked up the old, winding stairs to her little room on the second floor.

The extra practice had another purpose beyond honing her skills. If she was tired enough, she would fall asleep quickly instead of tossing and turning for hours on end as sleep eluded her and her fears and regrets haunted her instead.

Of course, sometimes dreaming wasn’t much better. Her dreams, when she remembered them, were either fragmented and disjointed or disturbing and dreadful. The others had had dreams of Sora, and she’d had that single dream that gave them the clue they needed to continue their search. But ever since then he had been absent from her dreams, or if he’d visited, she couldn’t remember upon waking.

Still, that was better than not being able to sleep at all. Thankfully, exhaustion won out tonight, and she soon slipped into sleep, hoping that she wouldn’t remember any of her dreams and would just be able to escape for a little while.

A big, modern city with soaring skyscrapers and winding streets. Water drip, drip, dripping as the light rain covered everything in a wet film. Red and green and yellow lights reflecting off of puddles.

Kairi moved through this realm as if she were floating. There was no sense of time or space, just moving over the pavement without any contact with it. A sign she didn’t belong in this place, perhaps, that to the people she passed she was simply a fiction, a ghost. When she tried to touch things, her hands moved right through them, and when she tried to speak, no one was able to hear her.

The experience made shivers run down her spine. She missed having a body that could interact with the world around her, that could touch and taste and test, feel and sense and caress. She really was beginning to wonder if she was a ghost. Of course, if the people in this realm tried to come to hers, they would probably seem like the ghosts. She sensed some great barrier that was nearly impossible to pass, though Riku had succeeded and Sora had been brought here unwillingly.

Or was it willingly? He had willingly given his life for hers, so it felt strange to speak of him coming here against his will. And yet she couldn’t help but think such thoughts. She knew Sora didn’t want to be apart from her any more than she wanted to be apart from him.

Her wanderings eventually led her to a coffee shop situated in a four-story building with the number four in the address. It had space on all four floors, too. Four, four, four. Everything here reminded her of the unlucky number that sounded like death.

The first floor was where people ordered their coffee from the hard-working baristas, the second and third floors were where they could drink the coffee, either alone or with friends on various tables and couches, and the fourth floor was a rooftop area with a few more seats and a view of the nearby scenery.

She almost didn’t notice him at first. He was seated at one of the tables, an untouched cup of coffee steaming in front of him as he stared into the horizon. His hair looked different, lighter and much less spiky than before, and his back was turned to her and his clothes were more muted, more like what normal people wore. But then he stiffened and glanced back, and his searing blue eyes gave him away.

“Kairi?” he murmured, looking right at her as if he could see her. Gosh, he was more handsome than ever, and he looked older and wiser and world-weary but still with that spark of Sora compassion in his eyes.

Well, she supposed it had been a year. She’d changed and so had he.

So had he. Relief flooded her at the thought. Dead people couldn’t change and grow. Only the living could.

She tried responding, but of course he couldn’t hear her. She was a ghost in this realm. But then how had he sensed her presence? Perhaps it was that gift of his for seeing hearts wherever he went.

His expression softened. “You can’t speak here, can you?” he gently said. “I can’t speak when I visit you in your dreams, so I guess it makes sense the reverse is true too.”

He had visited her in her dreams since that time she’d confronted Xehanort? If only she could remember.

He patted the chair next to him. “Have a seat.”

She floated over and “sat” down as best she could, but of course all she could manage was sort of hovering over the chair. But it wasn’t uncomfortable, and if she really tried she could imagine she and Sora were grabbing a cup of coffee together like they’d done so many times at the cafe on the beach back home.

“There’s so much I want to tell you,” Sora said, his face serious in a very un-Sora like way, like this place dragged his spirit down despite his best efforts. “Even with all the time we got together before we were separated, it still wasn’t enough.”

She agreed. It didn’t matter how much time you got to spend with your loved one before you lost them. The loss still ached like a deep wound that would never fully heal because that person was never meant to be torn from your side like that. She’d often thought to herself, if only I could speak to Sora again. If only I could have just a few more minutes with him. But even if she’d gotten her wish, it would be like sticking a bandaid on a gaping, gushing wound. Because the time would still end, the conversation would be over, and it still wouldn’t be enough. She’d still long to see him again after that.

No, the only true remedy for grief was an eternal reunion. A promise that she’d get to be with him forever. No more separations and sadness, no more sorrow and pain, no more tears and tearing apart of their shared heart.

She hoped the afterlife would be kinder than this life was.

Sora frowned. “I can tell you’re sad. I’m sorry I haven’t found a way back home yet. I’m trying, trust me.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “It’s just a lot more difficult than I’d like.”

She scoffed. He was apologizing to her? It should be the other way around. She would say as much if she had a voice in this world.

Whatever expression was visible on her face seemed to upset him. “Kairi, I know we kinda avoided certain topics before I…you know. I didn’t want you to be sad. But I’m worried about how you’re handling all this.”

She carefully avoided his gaze. Not well. But was there a “good” way to handle grief? It was like her mother had said. There was no “right” way to grieve. Just whatever helped you get through the next hour, the next minute, the next second. Grief was like an unwelcome, unwanted acquaintance she couldn’t get rid of. The best she could do was learn to deal with its constant presence. She’d lost her birth parents and grandmother ages ago, so it wasn’t like she hadn’t dealt with grief before. But every grief is unique, and the grief of Sora’s loss still felt so raw and fresh and wrong.

“You don’t blame yourself for my death, do you?” Sora asked, his voice pained and his eyes anguished as he cut through her thoughts.

She would’ve been silent even if she could’ve spoken to him. He knew her all too well.

His face went pale. “You do,” he said, barely above a whisper. “Kairi, it wasn’t your fault.”

Yes it was. If she hadn’t been so weak, she wouldn’t have gotten kidnapped, and if she hadn’t gotten kidnapped, she wouldn’t have been struck down, and if she hadn’t been struck down, then Sora wouldn’t have had to abuse the Power of Waking to save her.

Honestly, he should’ve just let her be lost forever. She would’ve preferred that to this.

“You don’t believe me,” he said, his voice breaking. He reached for her hand, but of course his hand went right through hers. Frustration and pain flickered across his face, like he couldn’t bear this physical separation any more than she could.

“If you have to blame anyone, blame me,” he said. “I was the one who was reckless with my own life. But I wasn’t reckless for the sake of being reckless. There was just something so much more important at stake.”

Tears blurred her eyes. She wouldn’t be able to shed them or express them here, but they were there all the same.

“I couldn’t abandon you,” Sora said, his eyes filled with tears. “I couldn’t leave you trapped in Xehanort’s grasp forever. Don’t you see? I had no choice but to rescue you. I wouldn’t be myself if I left you to your fate just like you wouldn’t be yourself if you’d let me die at the Keyblade Graveyard. It’s true that we could’ve made other choices, but we never would. That’s what…that’s what love is, Kairi. Always wanting the best for the other person to the point it compels you to act.”

Sora was right. She would never let him die. Except that she had. And she knew how he felt about her. She just felt utterly and completely unworthy of his love because of her failure.

And yet…if she told him that, how would it make him feel? Like she was spitting in his face and saying his sacrifice wasn’t worth it? That he wasn’t worth it? She could never. She struggled to like herself, but Sora she loved with all her heart. Maybe…maybe if he really did see something in her worth loving, then there was something about her worth loving.

“I wish I could hear your voice,” he said sadly. “Your laughter. I really miss your laughter. Your smile, too.”

It struck her that he hadn’t smiled this entire time either. She missed his smile so much.

“I know now’s not really the time for smiles, but maybe…when we meet again…”

She nodded. She didn’t feel like smiling now, but if she could be reunited with Sora in the flesh, she might feel differently.

“I think you’re gonna wake up soon,” he said. “You’re flickering. But this won’t be the end, I swear. We’ll meet again. Either I’ll find a way home or you’ll find a way to me, I just know it.”

She nodded a little more confidently this time. The future was so uncertain, but this strange dream had given her fresh hope.

“Until then,” he said, then leaned close and gently kissed her cheek.

Kairi’s eyes fluttered open. A quick glance out the window told her it was still dark outside, and the flames in her little room’s fireplace had been reduced to glowing embers. She was cold, and yet her cheek felt so warm.

She touched it. Faint memories of Sora flickered through her mind, but they were already slipping out of her grasp. She grabbed the little diary next to her bed and jotted down as many things as she could remember. But it wasn’t much. Just a big city, his blue eyes, a steaming cup of coffee, and a soft, gentle kiss on her cheek.

Well, and one more thing. In her diary she added: I don’t remember the exact words, but I have this deep, lingering sense of peace. Like he loves me and promised we’d meet again. Maybe it’s just my own foolish imagination, but if it helps me feel better, I think it’s okay.

With that she closed the little book and rolled over onto her side, pulling the blanket closer for warmth as she took a few more minutes to rest before getting up. She wished she could remember more details from the dream, but the fact she’d dreamed about him at all brought her great comfort.

Maybe…maybe we will succeed. Maybe I will get to see him again. I just need to be patient and make the most of my life right now.

She was tired of just existing. She wanted to live again. Wanted to enjoy all the little things and appreciate the people in her life right now. And even if she got Sora back and they got their happily ever after, one of them would still outlive the other. There was a phrase that got omitted from modern fairy tales, “until their deaths.” “They lived happily until their deaths” was how the stories always used to end, but at some point someone had decided the “until their deaths” part was too sad to include, so everyone removed it from the ends of stories and replaced it with “ever after” as if that would remove death from reality.

Kairi was beginning to think this was a grave mistake. Pretending death didn’t exist wouldn’t help kids deal with it better. And death was no respecter of persons. It came for the young as well as the old, the healthy as well as the sick, the strong as well as the weak. Might as well help people prepare for that and make the most of the time they have in this life and the most of the time they have with their loved ones.

Sora, if we do get a second chance to be together, I promise I’ll never take a single moment with you for granted again. And I’ll do everything in my power to help you come home.

Satisfied with her promises to him, she got out of bed. Enough waiting and wondering. It was time to act.

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A/N: Thank you for reading! I wanted to explore Kairi's survivor's guilt and grief in more depth, including the different facets and expressions of it. I wanted her to get to be angry and frustrated and sad and hurt, and it was cathartic to write.

I always thought it was interesting how death in the KH universe is defined as the soul (tamashii) and body (nikutai) being separated. Your heart (kokoro) and your body can be separated and you'll continue to exist (granted as a Heartless + Nobody), but if your soul and your body get split up, you'll die for real. (This is all delineated in Secret Ansem's Report #4). So I tried to incorporate that bit of KH lore into the story.

As always I enjoy delving into fairy tale stuff and researching the ways different languages handle the start and end of stories (English of course has the classic "Once upon a time…they all lived happily ever after" formula, but there are other variants like the "they lived happily until their deaths" one).

And then what would one of my KH stories be without an exploration of free will, the nature of existence, and various metaphysical ponderings? That stuff just always slips into my KH fics these days.

Happy SoKai Day!

[kayura-sanada]

How Dark Road Destroyed the Last Vestige of Good KH Storytelling, or, alternatively, Why, As a Huge Fan of Birth By Sleep, the Kingdom Hearts Series Should Have Ended With Kingdom Hearts 2

So firstly, I will say that followers of my blog have seen me lose my mind to all of this before, and some of these followers have outright asked me to rant about this, so here I am. The summaries they've sent me (because I have no intention of losing hours of my life to this) were long, and since this is going to be long enough, I will only be referencing what they told me instead of posting it all, because... guys, it's a lot.

Obviously, there are going to be spoilers here. A lot of them.

I honestly don't know where to start, so I'll start where a couple of these summaries started: Xehanort's childhood.

First, I need to admit here that I don't care. Nobody needs to know the backstory of a character who has spent thirteen games torturing teenagers. But here we go.

So Xehanort was a kid being raised on Destiny Islands - information we already had - but he was born in Scala ad Caelum. And his guardian was actually our player character from UX! Guys. This alone is going to be a long rant.

Firstly, again, let dead people stay dead. I don't know about anyone else, but I never expected nor wanted my character to show up in the storyline after UX. There's no need for that.

But! Apparently there is! Because my character, who has already been demoted to 'parental figure' - a position about as useful to the player character as it was to Sora's mother - had memories. And because Xehanort is so sensitive, he dreams those memories.

Guys, this is so much, and it's all bullshit.

Suddenly the greatest contribution our player character can say to have given is helping make Xehanort evil. We are, after all, responsible for the source of information that leads Xehanort to the decisions he makes in the future. Our character exists just to accidentally screw over everyone in the future? Excuse me? May I just delete my damn character, then?

But also, let's dig into this 'sensitive heart' bullshit that Xehanort suddenly has. It's something he and "Baldr" (it's fucking Luxu, and of course Nomura thinks he's clever by naming him after the most well-known god of light in any pantheon, sigh, sorry but God of War is bringing out its second game, you are not going to use Norse mythology better than God of War, Nomura, shove off) apparently have, just like Sora. Only we've seen countless signs of Sora having a sensitive heart. There have been no signs whatsoever of Luxu or Xehanort having the same thing. Not once! Not once! But suddenly Xehanort is such a nice guy it left him vulnerable to falling to darkness.

So really, he didn't fall to darkness because he wanted more power, or because he wanted to find out what happened during the Keyblade War to the point where he was all right killing Ven and Aqua and taking over Terra's body against his consent, oh no! It's not because he willingly made himself a heartless or studied hearts until he created nobodies out of himself and a bunch of innocent people, including children and young teens, oh no! And it certainly wasn't because he manipulated a fifteen-year-old into sending his world to darkness or trying to use said teen's body to kill his friends, oh no! It was because he is just too kind and sensitive to others' hearts.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, I have spoken before on how obvious it is that Nomura likes Xehanort, but never in my life did I think I would see the day when he would take the characteristics that make up his main character and Gary Stu them into his fave. But here we are.

In fact, due to these changes, we ourselves, our own player characters, now exist as angst fodder for Xehanort. We exist for Xehanort's pain.

(And in fact they're talking about a game focusing on our player character, or something? So we really will exist for Xehanort, and our main story will be about how we affect him. Ugh.)

(Also, a prequel of a prequel? Please, someone stop Nomura.)

And it seems Ephemer also existed for Xehanort! Because now Xehanort has a lineage. And that always seems to happen when bad writers want to write stories that span generations, doesn't it? Everyone has to secretly be related to everyone else, because only a handful of people exist in the world, and only those descended from those people could ever be important or make history.

(And this makes me highly uncomfortable, thinking about how Ephemer randomly cameo'd in KH3. Is that now all about Xehanort, too?)

Not to be That Person, but the idea that someone is inherently meant to be an important hero, based on nothing more than their ancestor, only to fall to darkness because they have such a sensitive heart and were made vulnerable to the darkness... didn't Star Wars already do this better? With a character that hasn't been known as absolutely awful for over a decade, by the way.

Just saying.

But sure! Luxu and Xehanort are both just so kind, so sensitive, that they fell to darkness. Because they were such good people. Being that good made their hearts weak to darkness, and that's why they fell. Sure.

(Again, nevermind everything they've done that would explain how they fell, or the goals Xehanort explicitly stated he had over the course of the games that also would explain why he fell. Nope! He did all of that because he was a good guy.)

In fact, of all the things he did, one was to save Ven from Vanitas. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the thing we feared to be true really happened! Vanitas is an evil being of darkness, and Xehanort saved Ven by splitting them apart. In fact, the only reason he even went to Ven was because of those pesky, pesky dreams our main character accidentally gave him by being so close to his heart. (I just can't; this has never been a thing before despite Kairi's heart having been inside Sora's; Sora never remembered any of Roxas' or Ven's memories, Xion was somehow forgotten entirely despite being close to Axel and Roxas, but sure!!!! Sure!!!!)

So according to Birth By Sleep, Vanitas was a part of Ven's heart, and Xehanort even told him flat-out to use more darkness, then got rid of him because he didn't have enough, abandoning him to die on Destiny Islands, then siccing the very creature of darkness he'd created from Ven's heart back on Ven in order to create the X-Blade, but apparently! Apparently this was all for Ven's sake! He was saving Ven that day! He did it all to save Ven from Vanitas, even though he then sent Vanitas to attack Ven again! It's not a retcon at all! This! This is good storytelling!!!

And yes! This means that Vanitas is a two-dimensional creature of pure evil, because again! All darkness is bad! And all light is good! The best kind of storytelling!

So how is it that we all know how amazing and special Xehanort is? Perhaps it was something so obvious that people knew when Xehanort was born and perhaps there was a prophecy about it!!!

A prophecy. No. Specifically, another fucking prophecy. And it's from the very useful Book of Prophecies, which included a story about a traitor that was absolutely accurate and not a self-fulfilling prophecy (do you get the pun??? DO YOU?!?!?!) clearly created by a hack writer who hadn't thought far enough ahead to choose who was going to be the bad guy! So the answer is 'nobody! Except darkness!'

But yes! Another prophecy! This time about the prophesized child who's going to unite the villages worlds and bring peace! (It's nothing like Naruto don't bother trying to compare.) And it turns out that everyone thought the person who became a villain was actually the prophesized child, but it was actually the main character all along! (Stop comparing; they're nothing alike.)

But in reality! Not only was Xehanort considered the child of prophecy and thus taken from Scala ad Caelum to Destiny Islands to protect him (Sleeping Beauty? What?), but he also acted out in order to fulfill the prophecy and bring peace!!

That's right! I was right in my previous rants; Xehanort opened Kingdom Hearts, destroying countless worlds and torturing and killing countless innocent people, all in order to save everyone!!! He sacrificed himself to open Kingdom Hearts so he could end the existence of Darkness (you know, that thing that exists in everyone's hearts, but is now also a race of thirteen Super Evil Creatures that have no feelings and are evil, this is nothing like KH2 don't compare) and bring peace to the World! Also Eraqus knew all about this, and though he felt like Xehanort's methods were too extreme, he swore to always be there to bring him back just like Axel did with Roxas and Xion but in a less interesting way and thus wasn't murdered but willingly sacrificed himself! Yeah!! That's it! Xehanort didn't actually kill his friend at all, he's such a good guy actually!!!

So it was egregious enough that Eraqus chose to side with Xehanort at the end, thus ignoring everything Xehanort had done not just to him, but to his students he purportedly cares about, but now it turns out he was never really on his students' side at all! He was always on Xehanort's side, despite the huge fights and the blatant distrust and the animosity that seemed obvious in Birth By Sleep; no no!! Eraqus has always watched out for Xehanort (doing a bad job of that in the process, lol) and was apparently okay with being killed? Perhaps even went with it? Who knows, but yeah, solid friendship brotherhood whatever. (Or, as much of fandom sees it, romance. Have fun, guys; definitely not my cup of tea, but have at. Only fandom can fix this fustercluck.)

So really, with this all said and done, Xehanort has never been a bad guy! Ignore everything he did in previous games, because it was all due to his being super sensitive to others' hearts, just like Sora apparently but with absolutely zero foreshadowing, which led to him being vulnerable to outside forces, which is what darkness is, nothing to do with one's inner self or one's own emotions or goals or anything, no, darkness is an evil entity with its own mind, you can't help falling to it (unless you're Terra, fandom's still going to say Terra falling to darkness was all his own fault somehow). And everything he did was actually in sacrifice for the greater good! He's just so misunderstood, you guys. Really you should love and pity him.

I have more to say about this bullshit but I am Tired and this should be enough of a rant to keep you all satisfied for now. This is so bad it's somehow worse than Kishimoto's writing.

Suffice it to say, Xehanort should not be suddenly made to be a good guy who's just misunderstood and has been Trying His Best. Darkness should not be a physical entity that exists as some evil boogeyman to erase all fault or responsibility from people who fall to darkness. Scala ad Caelum shouldn't exist. The reveal of Kingdom Hearst shouldn't have been so underwhelming. It's nothing more than a lead-in to more UX nonsense, ffs. Union X should never have existed. Hell, Birth By Sleep, in bringing such wonderful characters and in-depth, complex ideas about light and darkness, should never exist in the same universe as this bullshit. The storyline was only marginally cohesive through KH2; afterward it became a tangled mess. (Hell, KH2 tangled it quite a bit with Roxas, but at least that storyline reached a conclusion, too, with Roxas' and Namine's existences shown to match between Sora and Kairi.)

If Kingdom Hearts ended with KH2, it would have been remembered as a weird, interesting story with engaging characters and a fun plotline. Nothing deep, but a great experience nonetheless. Instead we have this - a storyline you can't follow logically and characters so twisted and contorted, not just around each other but around their own selves, that you can't straighten them out anymore. It's so bad. I officially gave up on Kingdom Hearts after the third game, but I am truly, honestly telling people that it's better to just step away from it entirely.

I might write my own version of Kingdom Hearts one day, but if I do, it will look nothing like the original, because I demand cohesion in my narratives.

To anyone still following Kingdom Hearts, good luck. You're going to need it.

[atomic-taco-muffin]

The Legend of Hana Chapter 134

Warnings: You already know. It’s more angst. Tw (?) for electro torture 

Rating: SFW

Previously in the Legend of Hana:

In an apartment complex in the heart of the city, was a boy with soft, chocolate, spiky hair. He wore a black tank top with a gray jacket with red seams on it and matching pants. He laid on a couch next to a window with a thin curtain covering it.

“Oh, you’re finally awake, Sora,” the girl said.

“Huh? You…know me?” Sora asked, confused. How did this girl know him? How did he end up here?

“You’ve been asleep since you arrived in this world seven days ago.” Seven days?!  Has it really been seven days since his fight with Yozora?!

“How do I get back?” he asked.

“I’ve been working on it. So far, I have nothing but with your help, perhaps we can.”

“Then, let’s get to work.”

                                                          ☽✧☽✧

After the Master of Masters kidnapped Lily and Hana, Xigbar and Luna were trying to figure out what to do and where they might be. But knowing the Master, he would hide them somewhere where no one could find them. 

“We need to find them before it’s too fucking late. Who knows what he might do to them,” Xigbar said. 

“But how? And where? He could be anywhere,” Luna replied. It felt like there was absolutely no way of ever finding their daughters. Until, Mukuro came up to them and suggested something. 

“Maybe Master Yen Sid knows. The man practically knows everything,” she said to them. The couple thought about it for a moment, but soon agreed. With that, everyone headed to Master Yen Sid’s tower, hoping for some answers. 

                                                         ☽✧☽✧

Lily stirred awake, only to feel the worst headache she had ever felt. It was as if she had multiple migraines going on all at once. She looked around and saw that she was in a somewhat dark room. Her arms were held up in an almost T like position and were held by what looked like sharp wires. Not only that but her legs were too. She tried to squirm free, but the wires holding her cut her skin, drawing blood. A door suddenly opened and Lily looked as best as she could only to find two Monokumas walk up to her. One had all white fur and a bandage over one of its eyes, as if hiding the signature Monokuma eye from her and anyone else. The other was all black and wore a dark gray fedora with a red and white feather on it and had an eyepatch over one of its eyes. On one half of its face, it had sharp gold teeth and it held a cigar in one hand. It also wore a black tie and a gold padlock chain around its neck. 

“Well, well look who’s awake!” the white Monokuma said to her. 

“W-who are you? Why am I tied up like this?” Lily asked, clearly scared of the situation she was in. 

“Isn't it obvious, lil’ bitch? You’ve met us before,” the black Monokuma replied, taking a puff from its cigar. Lily pondered for a moment until it hit her. The only one who was able to create the Monokumas was none other than the Despair Spirit herself. 

“No…” she gasped, her eyes widening with even more fear. 

“Hello again, Lily. Do you like my new looks?” the white Monokuma said as it removed the bandage over its eye. 

“How? I saw you die by Xehanort’s Keyblade!” 

“Well, my daddy was able to save me by creating these two Monokumas here! Isn’t he just like the best!” the black Monokuma replied, its grin opening wider. 

“W-where’s my sister? What are you gonna do to me?” Lily whimpered. 

“Oh, just make you one of daddy’s queens~” the white Monokuma said. Before Lily could say anything, the two Monokumas were gone and a really painful shock went through her body. She screamed as the shocks traveled all through her body. The shocks soon stopped and her head laid limp. Tears began to fill her eyes as she panted, scared that this was gonna be her life. 

“Daddy…please save me…” she whimpered.

                                                        ☽✧☽✧

Donald and Goofy followed Ortho through the halls of the Underworld as the little robotic boy talked about himself and his older brother. Being the son of Hades, he was quite talkative. It reminded Donald and Goofy of Sora. Oh, how they hoped Hades had the answer to where he might be. And if Hana and Lily were okay. They soon made it to Hades’s throne room where he sat with his wife Persephone and his eldest son, Idia, who was playing a video game on his phone. 

“Hi, daddy! You have some guests!” Ortho said as he hovered over to his father. 

“Oh good. There hasn’t been a lot of action here lately,” Hades responded as he stretched his arms and sat up straight. Persephone leaned over to Idia and told him to sit up straight and he did, reluctantly. Hades’s two servants, Pain and Panic, let Donald and Goofy in and Hades looked at them in shock. What were they doing here? 

“What are you two doing here? And where’s that Keybrat you always tag along with?” he asked the duo. 

“That’s why we’re here, Hades. Sora went missing a year ago and no one has found him,” Goofy explained.

“Not only that, but Hana and Lily also went missing,” Donald finished. 

“That explains why Hana didn’t show up for tea the other day,” Persephone whispered to her husband. Hades pondered for a moment before speaking to the duo. 

“So, what do you want me to do? They’re not here in the Underworld if that’s what you’re wondering. I would’ve seen them in the River of Souls and put them in a different part of the Underworld,” he said. 

“We know. We want to speak to him,” Goofy whispered to Hades. Hades’s eyes widened for a moment but then relaxed, understanding why. 

“Pain. Panic. Show our guests the way,” he said to his two servants. The two servants nodded and escorted the duo through the many corridors of the Underworld. When they arrived, the duo saw a warning sign, telling them that this part of the Underworld was dangerous. 

“Before you go in, there are rules you need to understand,” Panic said to Donald and Goofy. 

“Lady Hana had asked Hades to keep him in here. She warned us how dangerous he was. Whatever you do, do not let him escape. If he does, scream Cronus. That will alert the security system Prince Idia had planted to make sure we capture him,” Pain explained. Donald and Goofy nodded and the door opened for them to walk in. By the time they walked in, the door slammed shut and they were left in a dark room. Suddenly, torches lit up with blue fire around the room revealing the person they came to visit. 

“Donald. Goofy. What a surprise,” he said. 

To be continued…

[aliceslantern]

Grow, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 13--Epilogue

Suddenly human and abandoned in the Keyblade Graveyard, Demyx struggles to survive and come to terms with what his life is. Only by chance is he saved from exposure, and brought to Radiant Garden to recover. Unsure of who he is and where to even begin, Demyx finds a kindred spirit in Ienzo, and before long finds perhaps he isn't the only one lost in this new life. But how can they move forward with so much holding them back?

Roughly canonverse, Zemyx, hurt/comfort. Started for Zemyx day (9/6). Updates Wednesdays until it's done.

Chapter summary: Edym and Ienzo continue to grow.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

It wasn’t all sunshine and roses.

The more time passed, the more trickling memories came back. The picture Edym got was never clear , exactly. More like brief flashes of insight. Fighting Heartless with his sister. Getting his ass kicked again and again.

Learning music.

It was their mother that taught him, that suggested maybe he shouldn’t follow in Elrena’s footsteps. Edym had always heard music in things, found himself gravitating towards it. Once it was well and truly in his life, it was like a hole had been filled.

But the more insight Edym had into Elrena, the angrier and more hurt he felt about how Larxene had treated Demyx. They’d both been amnesiac, but how or why had that relationship mutated to hatred? Had something else happened? Did she just feel that betrayed by him not joining her?

Would he ever know?

For a long while his life fell into a steady--mostly pleasant--rhythm. Work, gardening, time with Ienzo. It was all so painfully ordinary. Not that Edym minded that, at all. Waking up next to him was worth all the pain he’d gone through.

The others gradually got used to his presence, their relationship. The more Edym thought about it, the less he really wanted to find the place that was once home--especially if it meant leaving Ienzo. Maybe someday they would live in their own little house, with a cat or a dog. With or near friends. But for now… what they had was fine as it is. There was no need to rush into anything serious.

Edym and Ienzo… began to grow.

It was hard to leave behind that time in the Organization, especially because so much of Edym’s sense of self came from Demyx. And Ienzo had spent the majority of his childhood as a Nobody. Figuring out who they were and what humanity all meant was dazzling and confusing. The more his flickers of memories came back, the stranger Edym felt. He’d been soft, but he’d also been so young . He knew something awful had happened to their home, and, more likely, it had all happened a lot longer ago than anyone thought. But how, or why, Xemnas had found them was anyone’s guess.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do to help,” Even told him. “Aside from patiently waiting for those memories to come back… we can’t look into what happened to your world without knowing what it’s called.”

Edym knew this was true. It still put a sour seed in his chest. He thought of his sister, of Larxene. Harder still to grieve someone who was likely alive. But where was she? How would she feel seeing him again? Did she even care?

“I know it’s easier said than done,” Ienzo said softly, one night after they made love. “But you have to stop torturing yourself.”

“I know. I’m trying. I just…”

“Want closure.”

“Well. Yeah.” Don’t you ? He almost asked.

“I know. I wish I could… take that pain from you.”

“I just have this feeling that she’s alive, and I-- even if we just… hash things out, I don’t know.”

“I can’t say I relate totally,” Ienzo said. “But I know how it is to… lose people to the unknown.”

“Your parents?”

He nodded. “I scarcely have any memory of them anymore. My memories used to be so--achingly sharp.” He touched his brow. “Now, not so much. To take a page from Ansem’s book… if you’re meant to find each other again, you will. You have to trust in that.”

“You really believe that?”

He sighed, and smiled. “Call me crazy, but I do.” Ienzo kissed him. “Want some tea?”

---

Time passed. Edym kept waiting for the other shoe to drop--for things to get complicated and messy again. But they didn’t. Even eventually replaced the other kidney. He grew closer to the members of the restoration committee, became friends with them. When Scrooge offered him the opportunity to manage the post office instead of just work it, he took it. It felt nice to do something that had a positive impact, for once.

He was sweeping up one day after close when he heard the doorbell. They’d recently moved shop away from the strange little bazaar into their own building. “Sorry, we’re closed. Drop your mail in the box outside. I’ll handle it first thing.”

“Look at you, a cog in the machine.”

Edym froze. Very slowly, he turned.

“...Don’t look at me like that. Whose idea were the glasses? Almost makes you look not stupid.”

He made a strange noise. “How did you--when--I--”

Elrena looked tired, her skin sallow. “It’s a long and ultimately very boring story,” she said. She picked up a book of stamps, looked at it with something like distaste, and set it down. She was still wearing the black coat, he noticed. “Xigbar didn’t bite it, you know.”

He gripped at his elbow. “Yeah. I know. He almost killed me.”

“Really? I thought there was a--I don’t know. Rapport, or something, between you two. He was one of the only ones who could stand you.”

Edym blinked. Seeing her, he felt something a whole lot more complicated than he thought. Not relief. Not happiness. “So he found you and brought you here?”

“...Something like that. He said this was where you ended up.”

Edym shook his head slowly. “You wanted to see me?”

She smirked. “Call me sentimental, but yeah, I did. Was wicked weird when I found out. Lauriam just thought it was hilarious. Marluxia,” she clarified.

“So he’s around too.” Edym set the broom aside. “Well. Good for him, I guess.”

There was a pause. Elrena cleared her throat. “You’re going to snitch about Xigbar, aren’t you?”

“Probably. Yeah.”

“...Is it bad I kind of want you to?”

“More pot stirring?”

“More pot stirring.” She grinned. “It’s what I do best.”

“So what are you two doing with him, anyway?”

“Honestly? I’m not completely sure. But I’m helping Lauriam look for someone, and then after that… well. The World is our oyster.”

Without ceremony, Edym said, “Stelitzia.”

“Oh, you remembered that much?”

Woodenly, he nodded.

“Lauriam thought he remembered someone getting her killed. But considering that nobody in this fucking world seems to stay dead… well.” She shrugged.

“Why are you telling me all this?”

She dropped her eyes. “Like I said. All this talk of his sister… had me feeling sentimental. And that’s so not cool. I thought if I saw you it’d stop.”

“Did it?”

“Don’t know.”

Edym let out a slow breath. “How long are you in town?”

“Not long.” She took another few steps towards him. “If you want, you can come with us.”

He laughed. “No. No way in hell. Sorry.”

“Worth a shot.”

“Why would you want me anyway?”

“You could see her again.”

Edym put his hands in his pockets. “I don’t want to leave what I have here. I… I’m happy, you know? I feel like I’m… starting to finally do more good things than bad. My life is here. Whatever we had before, as kids. I don’t think it was a life.”

Her eyes darkened. “No,” she said in a low voice. “It wasn’t.”

“You could have a life here too,” he said. “Or… not here, anywhere you want. You don’t have to go along with Lauriam and Xigbar. You could choose.” He offered his hand, and for a breath thought she might take it.

Elrena smirked. Shook her head. “Nah,” she said. “I’ve got things to do. People to see.”

“And undermine?”

“With any luck.”

Edym nodded. His heart settled in his chest. “Just don’t get yourself killed again,” he said. “And slug Xigbar good for me, okay?”

“Maybe. He does always seem to be asking for it.”

There was a pause, longer than the last. “You’ll be okay?” she asked.

“Yeah. I really will.”

“Well, okay. Then I’ll stop worrying.”

“You were worrying ?”

“Come on, Edym. We all know you’re not great at planning for the long term.”

“Maybe I’ve changed.”

She waved a hand dismissively. “I should go. My ride’s waiting.” She headed towards the door.

“Wait--Elrena--”

She turned, her lips pursed.

“Why did our Nobodies hate each other so much? Cause I don’t think I hate you now.”

She thought about it for a moment, her teal eyes flashing. “The last time we saw each other, we fought,” she said. “Can’t tell you for my life about what.”

“About the cult,” he said, with clarity.

“The Dandelions,” she corrected.

“I didn’t want you to leave me.”

“And I didn’t want to have to baby my brother.” She shook her head. “Well. Turns out that never happened. You were stuck with me. Maybe I resented that.”

Edym nodded.

“And being a Nobody makes you angry for no reason anyway ,” she said, more lightly. “Does that answer your question?”

“I think so.”

“Then I should go.” For a second, it seemed like she might touch him.

“You have a phone?” he asked.

“What, one of those dumb things? What kinda budget do you think we’re working with?” A grin.

“...Right. Well.” He took a deep breath. “I guess… if I see you, I see you. And if I don’t…”

“Yep.” She put her hand on her hip. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“You, either.”

“And hey. If I really need something, I’ll just write.” She winked. “Bye, Edym.”

“Bye, Elrena.”

When she left, she didn’t look back.

---

Edym sat heavily on the blanket. His joints hurt from a long day of work. It was his turn to bring the picnic, but instead of cooking, he’d been too tired, so he’d just gotten takeout from Ienzo’s favorite place. He hoped that would suffice.

“I know I’m late,” Ienzo called. “Even was being very--” He cut himself off, his eyes wide. He looked around the courtyard slowly. “When did you have the time--”

“I’ve been here almost all day.” His face flushed.

Ienzo walked around slowly, touching the new plants in their pots. The orchids. The lanterns Edym had hung around the peripherals of the property. He’d tried to repair some of the stonework in the floor, too, but accepted that he was a terrible mason. Ienzo turned to look at him. “Why did you--”

“We’ve been spending a lot of time here. I wanted to… make it nice.” He stood, wincing at the ache in his hips. “Aeleus helped me with this.” He reached over behind the old fountain to turn on the pump.

“This must’ve taken hours--days,” he said. He shook his head. “Edym, I--” He touched one of the orchids. “You even remembered these.”

“I wanted to do something nice for you. It is your birthday,” he pointed out.

Ienzo jerked.

“Did you forget?”

“I did entirely,” he admitted. “Time doesn’t pass in that cursed lab.” He wrinkled his nose. “Thank you.” He leaned in to kiss him. “Really. Thank you.”

He shrugged, the blush in his face getting hotter. “I… liked doing it. Let’s eat, okay?”

They did.

“...You know, you don’t have to work in that lab,” Edym said.

“It has been wearing on me lately,” Ienzo admitted. “But I have to be able to… do good work. Good things. It’s the only way I can sleep at night.”

Edym squeezed his hand. “No need for you to suffer doing something you hate.”

Ienzo shook his head. “I don’t hate it,” he said. “Knowing that I’m doing something worthwhile does feel good.”

“But it’s the coworkers that suck?”

Ienzo grimaced. “Quite. At least Even is at least partially distracted by the research work you’ve given him. He’s been criticizing my coding like his doesn’t look two or three languages behind.”

Edym chuckled.

Ienzo set down his bowl. “You know…” he began. “This life is no longer feeling quite so strange.”

“Isn’t that good?”

“I think so.” He put a hand to his chest. “I was worried that humanity would never feel quite right. Everything still overwhelms me. But… at least that sensation isn’t always negative anymore.”

Edym kissed him. They rested there together for a while longer.

“I mean, this whole mess only began because of my poor self-control,” Ienzo continued.

“ Hey. I don’t think we’re messy .”

“We’re a little messy,” Ienzo said.

“Well. I’m glad that it all happened. I feel like you’ve… helped me.”

“The feeling is mutual,” he said. He sighed. “Hopefully our next mistakes are equally fruitful.”

“Har har.”

Ienzo leaned back against him. For a while, neither of them said anything; they didn’t have to. “Shall we head back?” Ienzo asked. “I could use some--ah--stress relief.”

Edym smirked. “You got it.” He kissed him, longer this time. “Let’s go home.”

[actress4him]

Day 1 of @khoc-week . Introducing Meli!

Meli is a fifteen-year-old girl who thrives off of coffee, sarcasm, cynicism, and geek references. Her not-so-great life is turned completely upside down when she accidentally discovers that she has the power to travel to parallel universes, and finds herself thrust quite suddenly into the lives of Riku, Sora, and Kairi! Given the gift of a Keyblade, she decides to stay and make a new life for herself. She had no idea that this new life would include love, loss, torture, found family, and more physical and emotional pain than she had ever known...but she wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Read Meli’s story here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1575001

[cryptid-killjoy]

The Next Generation Brainstorming Session me and Kalliope had to stir up new muse. We need more input Jess. Give us your thoughts <3 

Maleficent / Lock / Mambo all die in the voodoo witch wars. Maybe even Jack Skellington? That might could be a thing? TSG definitely gone. Horned King gone missing and Chernabog in Halloweentown always stewing refusing to believe he’s really gone, but can’t manage contact in Hell either. 

Flotsam’s inner battle with being hougan dies after Mambo’s demise and sudden appearance of the secret daughter Zeke and Mambo had. (Tati Gabrielle)

The “Uncle” Zeke and Mambo relationship resulted in a shadow daughter (much like Dr. F) that Zeke kept hidden because of Mambo’s wishes for Flotsam to take her place. But, she comes out of the shadows upon her death. This is where Flotsam finally sees his out leaving the leadership of the encampment to her and Zeke. He was adopted in and the pressure mounted and cracked him and wanted to leave it with a true heir. 

The Laveau family (Cinderella, Jet/Flo, Sparky, and their kids) shall take refuge on their new estate they’d gotten from Madam Medusa. Mostly Flotsam just wants out after the war to hermit up and be with his family. He distances himself from the encampment after that. 

There’s going to be 4 Laveau kids as Cinderella wanted. River (Cole Sprouce???) and a daughter by Flotsam. But, also a set of twins fathered by Jetsam. FC’s and names are still being decided. 

After the voodoo/witch wars the world changes some and a supernatural school would be opened where most our muses’ dependents would go. 

Including Maleficent and Triton’s daughter, raised by Triton. (Camren Bicondova) This puts her in a weird position of being raised “good” but harboring a lot of pain and bad blood fame in the town. Diablo would stay a crow mostly and be a bad influence in her ear. But, also what no one will catch onto is, Diablo was actually Maleficent’s familiar not the son story as posed. Then just like in Kingdom Hearts and the live action movies, she can be reborn later on. But, that’s not something I want to pull in any time soon. She’s more like a sleeper plot that might not really get there. 

Now, we also have Piper that needs to be in this mix and any kids Esmeralda may have had which leaves more room for creation. 

Then of course the Boogies. That’s where the Sabrina FC comes in, but it’s not fully formed on whether that’s one of Lock’s kids that maybe he didn’t even know he had considering he was always a playa kidnapping girls at the treehouse playing Stockholm syndrome or what, maybe a Shock kid? Probably not because she was with Mummy Boy and he’s a vampire, so no kids there. Not Barrel’s because he was gay af and the only titty he latched onto was his mommas. LMAO. So, I don’t know if Oogie takes over Halloween and raises this girl, or if she’s raised by Barrel, or Barrel and Oogie or what exactly, but my idea is, after Maleficent’s downfall and Lock’s death, the Boogie family would be gunning for power. Or maybe Shock’s in Full power there? Idek. But, since the earth world plan got screwed in all this, they take over Halloweentown. Cinderella was going to eventually get the keyblade to Shock. So it would make sense they’d make a new domain where they could thrive and rise to the top in a new world. But, then this kid gets sent to the supernatural school in New Orleans deemed ready. 

Then there’s Kuzco and Clopin. I kind of want to say that soon after their Paris trip they manage to make it to the private island Theme Song Guy set up for them and live a happy private life for Piper’s growing up and maybe only mingle with Flotsam and family after the war who also adopted the hermit in hiding lifestyle with his family. But, maybe Piper wants to be with other kids? I can see Flotsam and Clopin being on the fuck everyone and do their own mindset. But, maybe Kuzco and Cinderella have a bond about being trapped up as kids and always feeling like a prisoner and convince everyone to let the kids go to the supernatural school? This of course is what will pull them all back into the drama. What do you think? 

Having the superschool leaves a lot of room to create new muses without much limitation. Robin Hood and Marion’s kids maybe? Not sure. 

Esmeralda and Cinderella end up with the Cornerstone of Light like in her original head canon. Basically, most of her stuff still applies minus Cinderella being tortured for eternity on the other side. 

Also much to discuss about Elsa. Gahhhhhhhh. I didn’t want to assume anything there. So, I’ll hit you up if you’re in. 

Give me all your thoughts <3

@orleans-jester , @simulacrum-collosi

[nadziejastar]

i'd love to hear more of your theories/speculations about larxene's character. her somebody, elrena, is part of KHUX, but so far we still don't know much about her yet

Larxene: Pfft, you'd be nothing without that Keyblade. ...Oh ho! I just got an idea.

Roxas: Uh-oh.

Larxene: You can do today's mission WITHOUT your Keyblade.

Well, my impression was that both Larxene and Marluxia were very wealthy upper class people, which is why they were both complaining about how bored they were in that one short story. All of Larxene’s weapons have French names, and Marluxia uses French-derived words (denouement). It’s a common trope to give a character an air of sophistication. I think Xemnas found those two particularly threatening since they seemed to know so much more about the Keyblade and everything than the others. They were eliminated practically as soon as they joined the organization. Larxene already knew what the Keyblade was, and so did Marluxia. She was actually displeased with Roxas for wielding the Keyblade.

[Marluxia]

A member of Organization XIII. Despite having joined late, he is sent to CastleOblivion and named its lord based on his profound abilities. He is intrigued bythe Keyblade wielder and harbors dark desires, but was disposed of by anunknown assailant.

Considering Scala ad Caelum was supposed to be the new hub world in KH3, I would guess that she and Marluxia were probably from there. They may have been blue bloods, like Eraqus. Neither of them seemed like “good guys” either. Marluxia had “dark desires” and Larxene was in on his plan. That’s not to say that they couldn’t have had any kind of redemption. I just don’t think they’d be the type of characters that would be friends with Sora and company. 

“We aren’t doing much, these days. This place is boring, isn’t it?” Larxene’s words brought an abrupt sense of affinity, for there was a Nobody who was thinking the same thing as him.

Lea and Isa were just innocent kids like the Twilight Town gang, so I can seem them being Sora’s actual friends (not Saïx though lol). They didn’t know anything about Keyblades or other worlds. They weren’t important people as humans. Marluxia and Larxene had a much different backstory in mind for their human selves. They came from power and influence. Marluxia took charge of Castle Oblivion as soon as he joined. He was a powerful fighter, too.

Larxene: Predictable response. Forget it. Men without hearts are so boring.

I was reading the manga again recently, and I laughed when I noticed what Larxene was reading. I always got that kind of vibe with Larxene. She is called “The Savage Nymph”, after all. But I wasn’t expecting such a blatant sexual reference in a KH product, lol. It was the Marquis de Sade. He was a French nobleman born in 1740 who inspired the word “sadism”. He was a prominent member of the nobility and also a convicted rapist and kidnapper. He was notorious during his time for his abuse of prostitutes. Sade was guilty of torture, poisoning, kidnapping women and children and keeping them as sex slaves in his chateau. When he was imprisoned he wrote books. Today he’s kind of a pop culture icon known for his erotic tales that glamorize cruelty and depravity.

Larxene: But I don’t really want or need a heart. It’s painful with a heart. Right now I’m pretty comfortable.  

It sounds like Larxene had a pretty unfortunate past, especially regarding her experiences with men. I would guess that being a member of the nobility was a major factor. She reminds me of Lady Farnese from Berserk. She was also a noblewoman who developed sadistic sexual fetishes. She was rich and spoiled, but totally emotionally neglected her entire life. She started burning things she didn’t like. When Farnese was forced into an arranged marriage by her father, she voiced her refusal by setting a fire to the family estate, which caused her to be sent to a convent. It wouldn’t surprise me if Larxene had a similar background to Lady Farnese, including some kind of arranged marriage that she bailed out of. She probably grew up lonely, bored, and miserable. Didn’t have much freedom. She probably developed a pretty warped personality as a result.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

The Best Laid Plans

-reposting from my old account-

Summary: As Sora attempts to find Kairi’s heart at the end of Kingdom Hearts III, images of Kairi herself seem to attack him--punishment, Sora thinks, for letting her die--and as he gets closer and closer to her heart platform, memories of her (and past mistakes of his there) begin to play as Sora tortures himself, but not all is what it seems.

A.K.A. My version of Sora finding and saving Kairi at the end of KHIII.

(And sorry if any of my Italics disappeared. For that reason, you might want to read on fanfiction, AO3, dA, or Pillowfort instead).

Sora's PoV

The first thing Sora noticed—when he started doing a dive towards Kairi's heart platforms, was how this time around... there seemed to be massive boulders everywhere:

Something that reminded Sora of his fight with Lexaeus, back at the Cavern of Remembrance.

And as Sora got closer to the stained glass, he had to swerve this way and that to avoid running into the falling rocks... that seemed to go more concave the closer Sora got to them?

But even with those trying to obscure him from the truth, Sora entered a dream of Kairi's—it was the best way he could put it—and instantly realized what memory it was. He hadn't recalled it until now, because he'd been so young when it had happened... And maybe part of Sora had even blocked the memory, but...

He and Kairi had been okay the first two times they'd met when they were five:

When Sora had been the first one to find after she had washed up on Destiny Islands, and then the first time he and Riku had talked to her at the mayor's house.

But after that... things had gone down hill for them pretty quickly—because Kairi had done something that bothered Sora, and he had blown it way out of proportion like children did:

Kairi, in playing with some of her girl friends, had teasingly wanted to put chalk onto Sora's face to emulate makeup: And this was since Sora had cost them a point in the Jeopardy game at school, so the girls had playfully wanted to get back at him.

And all of that had hurt Sora so much, that he'd begun hating Kairi for it:

It hadn't been a "hate" that had been too bad—as they had just been kids. And even now, Sora didn't think he had it in him to ever truly be bad to someone… but he'd still ignored her and given her the cold shoulder, whenever she was around for a year.

It got to a point, where Kairi—now heartbroken herself—had stood on a rock in the sea, begging the waves to take her.

And it was just when the waves were touching Kairi's feet, that the Sora of the past literally sprung into action.

Sora jumped to where Kairi was...

But as a kid who still didn't know how to control his own strength, he almost overshot and tripped on the rock that Kairi stood on and into the water.

But he didn't.

Instead, Sora hugged Kairi to protect her from wavelets coming her way—that had been so beautiful, in their most terrifying way—and apologized amidst tears that were running down his own cheeks.

"Sorry, Kairi… Be my friend?"

Kairi looked up at Sora with wide eyes then: wise beyond her years, Sora saw now, and just a bit untrusting after all the things she'd already seen. "Why would you want that?" Kairi had questioned with both hands behind her back, in her iconic gesture.

At that, Sora didn't answer. Instead, he just picked Kairi up into his arms, and tried to gracefully jump with her… but face-planted them both into the sand.

'Oh well. That was bad. But she won't drown.' Young Sora had thought then. And Sora heard it again in his head now, and he couldn't help but smile for it. Apparently, he actually hadn't been too inarticulate with his feelings back in the day. "I found ya, Kairi… So we should be friends."

Oh, and that was even better! Current Sora thought, near chuckling.

It felt… good, in some ways, to see this. Even if seeing Kairi was literally a stab to the heart.

At first, Past Sora's words didn't seem like they were enough for Kairi. She had even been about to storm off, Sora had been able to tell.

But she turned around just once—and surprisingly put her hand into her future significant other's, and said: "A chance, it is."

Then, she began leading the two of them away:

Towards the secret place, that she would later tell Sora she'd just noticed that day… but had needed a brave boy to go in with, since she was a bit scared.

And in trying to make things up to Kairi, Sora would begin drawing on the cave walls for her that day, and that… Well, that would be the start of everything.

Out of the memory now, and back on the platform—having been removed gently, the way he had been when Kairi had once deemed he'd seen enough of her memory about her grandma—Sora found that he suddenly felt… depressed. And right now, for one reason in particular:

"…I've hurt you in the past. Huh, Kairi? …We didn't have a concept of death back then. But gods. You almost committed suicide over me when we were five. Thankfully, that's the worst of it. And to save you… I'm maybe going to have to face all of this hurt. But I'm ready."

Having said that, it threw Sora off when Nightmares that looked like metallic versions of Kairi came flying his way.

If he'd, perhaps, undone Kairi's pain here—which was what Sora was assuming was happening here, and how he'd free her—shouldn't these Nightmares have vacated the premises?

And the way that they looked—now even with fan sharp wings that sliced his face as they came boy—Sora expected them to be some of the toughest enemies he'd ever had to face… but they weren't.

They were tough, in that most of his spells and attacks didn't work on them...

Except for the quake spell he'd used in his time trying to save Naminé..

Though it had been a struggle-and-a-half trying to even reclaim that memory to do so.

But Sora had guessed that that would be the only way to stop them, as there had been boulders before this, and such in Kairi's memory that he'd just seen

And he'd been right.

So—more than just using his Keyblade for this fight—Sora had summoned that magic to him… and had nearly allowed it to give him a heart attack.

That was always how that spell seemed to feel—as it seemed to explode out of Sora, just as it pulled stones from the ground to throw at everything.

That being said—and though Sora was glad to have eliminated one more thing that had been in his way—it killed him to see the rocks tear at Kairi so mercilessly.

But fortunately, Sora didn't have to witness it for long: They were gone just like that, and it was like marks being cleaned from a slate.

But what was too much for Sora, however, was when he realized he'd somehow just accidentally cut his hand with the Keyblade.

His hand, that had—stupidly—only reluctantly shared a paopu fruit with Kairi.

And for that, he deserved whatever was done to his body.

And this hell as a whole.

But just when Sora was done with this nightmare—and thought he might be one step closer to Kairi's Light—he felt a laser slice through his shoulder, the way numerous ones of Xigbar's had in the past, when he hadn't dodged them properly.

And Sora winced in pain... It had been a while since something this minuscule had harmed him, and in some ways he'd forgotten what a fine-toothed-comb such a touch could be.

But what had done this to him? For that, Sora had no answer.

It hadn't been the Nightmares or Kairi, so what did that me-

But before Sora could finish the thought, he found himself being pulled back down to more of Kairi's Station of Awakenings.

And this time, it looked like he had a choice on which one to go to:

He could either go to the one when she was thirteen—evidenced by the fact that that had been the first and only year Kairi had worn her hair so big—or to her twelve-year-old one, where she and Sora had gone to the Sadie Hawkins Dance together.

Relishing in the fact that none of these would be as bad as how he'd treated Kairi when they were children, Sora began diving with his eyes closed—blindly—and let his heart do the rest.

The hair one, it was.

And when Sora hovered over the scene, like a ghost, he tried to figure out what had been significant about this one… and why Kairi had chosen to try and be a trendsetter that way.

And then it all hit him like a ton of bricks..

Right. This was when Kairi had been obsessed with Queen.

And she'd tried being beautiful in another way, going totally '80s, in wandering if Freddie—who thought everyone was gorgeous—would think she was when she looked like this.

…Though Sora still wondered if there'd been more to it than even that.

Also? This had been one of the few fall-outs between Riku and Kairi, during the three's long journey as friends… Because Riku had had some issue with Queen, or Kairi liking Queen, and it still made no sense to Sora.

And yet for one day, he'd been on Riku's side about it.

Sora had been okay with Kairi changing her hair every year. It had just been her thing. But when she brought clothing alteration, and a different attitude into it some, that had been too odd for Sora.

He'd also agreed with Riku, that 80's music really didn't scream Kairi.

...But then Sora had seen how happy Kairi was playing this part—and the present day Sora, giving this a once-over again, saw it now—and had been unable to turn away from this side of her anymore.

And if Sora had fallen for the song "Love of My Life" because of her, he wasn't complaining.

"Kairi, what are you doing?" Past Sora still finally asked, however.

And if Keyblade-wielder-Sora was right about it, this was their last day of school in eighth grade—a day in which everyone could go to the amusement park with their class, or stay home and do whatever.

Most had chosen the former—including Sora and Riku themselves—but Kairi, for whatever reason, had chosen to stay home.

And the current Sora now knew why, because Kairi had eventually explained it to him, but the Sora in the memory didn't.

The answer? Eventually, Kairi had begun to feel bad about the money the mayor and his wife had spent on her after adopting her. So her not going on this adventure, was her way of giving them one less expense when it came to her.

She was being selfless, like Kairi so often was, but Sora knew she'd also enjoyed staying home and enjoying her 80'-esques stuff: She'd even been about to watch "Grease" when he'd shown up. But still… Even if he had been figuring that out, Sora had still had to ask her.

"I don't know, Sora," she'd admitted at last, as she fell onto her neon green bed and gave him a look. "I guess I'm just confused about me

"But if I am myself, in going to the amusement park like I want to, my parents lose out. So the best option is to do nothing, and just be."

And even if Sora knew that this had been past Kairi talking to his past self… Some of this sounded so much like how he'd felt—in pondering what he should do, since so many personalities in him weren't his own—that present day Sora couldn't help reaching out for Kairi now… And having his hand pass through his cheek as he did so.

Well, if he couldn't reach her—yet!—he'd at least try and give Kairi his words. And just as Keyblade-wielder Sora began speaking, so did the thirteen-year-old Sora.

And if it had been his thirteen-year-old self who had said this—or him now, through some sort of time paradox—Sora didn't know, but he was glad for the poetic words he'd selected all the same.

"Kairi... know that you should always try to be yourself, and everything else will fall into place."

Kairi looked at Sora then—with a look he couldn't quite fathom-but now that he knew what her expressions of love looked like, he thought this might have been the beginning of that.

And a long moment then passed, as Kairi picked her teddy bear up from her bed, clutched it to her chest, and then seemed about to give it to Sora before thinking better of it?

Eventually, she did find her voice again—as she looked at Sora wide-eyed, once again—and tried to reach for his hand.

And it was so much like what he'd just tried to do to her, that Sora couldn't help gasping for it… and even louder, as he carried it over, when her words did reach him now. "Thank you, Sora... It means a lot, and I really needed to hear that.

"I guess… sometimes I get stuck in my own heart? After getting to the Islands sort of traumatically? … So it's nice that you're here, to get me unstuck?"

Later, Sora would realize this was some of the most serious he'd ever seen Kairi: she was bright and energetic usually, so this must have been a blight on her otherwise flawless record that should have stood out to him.

And it definitely had back then… though not necessarily in a bad way.

But now that Sora knew Kairi was aware of some stuff about her grandma… and yet didn't know Aqua because of her trauma—and how it bothered her—Sora tried to decide if he should have found a better way to engage about her past even back here.

But still… even with that, Sora was pretty thrilled with how this memory ended:

"I'm only happy to help, Kairi! I swear." And he pinky promised with her, in a way that Naminé, perhaps, had been jealous of.

As Sora came to again-…into into Darkness?! What was this that he was seeing?!—he saw that there were times he certainly could have taken better care of Kairi.

And he tried not to vilify himself for it, since no one was perfect and more than anything he'd always tried to be perfect for Kairi…

But the more Sora thought about it, the more he hated himself:

Because there had been the times in the past where he'd been a jerk, in just being a clueless kid, sure, but adding that to all the times he'd recently left her... And how she'd just died because of his failure and lack of being able to keep a promise...

Well, Sora thought he deserved these Kairi Nightmares that were now going through him like ghosts—and literally trying to rip his heart out as they pulled him further into the Darkness… that it, too, was somehow edged like wings.

And Sora couldn't help laughing maniacally at this. It all hurt. Bad:

Like the physical manifestation of all of your friends forgetting you and never remembering, but for real this time. And it was worse, in that Kairi—of all people—was the one doing this to him!

And so lost was Sora in the pain and guilt he felt, as one of the strings attaching his heart to his soul was ripped, that he didn't at first realize he'd reached another platform.

And this one… This one was a stage where Kairi was obsessed with dying her hair, a weary Sora saw.

Funny, how Kairi had done so much with her hair and Sora never caught it before.

He wanted to loathe himself for that, too.

But maybe safe in this space, that was clearly the corner of Kairi's heart… Maybe he couldn't.

This time, the two of them were fourteen.

And at a hair salon, as opposed to in Kairi's room.

Past Sora was giving the impression that he'd only come to this with Kairi, because her adopted grandma had bailed on their usual routine and he hadn't wanted to leave her alone.

But nope.

The truth was, that this was Kairi's birthday. And since Kairi hadn't been sure what she wanted to do, Sora and Riku had just planned to shock Kairi with a surprise party here. Riku had gone to get all of the supplies they needed, so that left Sora to throw Kairi off the scent. "Kairi… I can't tell: Is your hair more red and you add brown to it, or more brown and you add red to it? And whichever the case... And why not just keep it its natural color?"

Kairi leaned up from the sink her hair had been washing in, and smiled wickedly at Sora. "You'll never know, my friend. And because dying it is all the rage now."

And oh man, did Sora regret now that he'd seemed to indicate he minded what Kairi did to her hair.

He, to his own ears, had sounded too much like a possessive boyfriend who dictated everything his girlfriend did.

But then again—the Sora of the present now realized, as Kairi was clearly happy having a good time—maybe he'd over thought it.

Besides, his mission back then had succeeded. Hadn't it? He'd kept Kairi from figuring out her birthday, right?

Kairi seemed about to say something else then, but Riku surprised her—and even Sora, who should have known better—when he thundered into the room with candy bar after candy bar and blew a party horn in their favorite redhead's face.

"Happy birthday, Kairi! We were gonna do this the normal way, with a cake and all, but then we figured you'd instead might wanna emulate buying candy bar after candy bar here with your grandma. So, that it is. This is our cake."

And Kairi had been so endeared by their gesture, that she'd actually told the barber she didn't need the blonde streaks after all, and was all done.

And jumping up from her seat with a wet head and everything, Kairi had hugged both Sora and Riku tightly. And it was still the best hug Sora had ever gotten—something that made him blush even now, to think about.

And Becky, the owner of the salon, informed Kairi that it was fine for her to cut their plans for her hair short, and motioned for her to go run all over the little hall with the vending machine that Riku was referencing with the candy bars.

A young Kairi—according to her, anyway—had run all down this hall, connecting to other buildings, with her grandma when she was young. But most of all, she'd always stop at the vending machine and have treat after treat given to her.

So, that's what they'd planned to do for her birthday.

And Sora, Riku, and Kairi hadn't needed to be told twice.

The boys, being kind to their gal friend, gave her their jackets to her—so she wouldn't catch Pneumonia with her wet head—and then headed to said hall.

When they came to the end of it-where a table and chairs were—the trio sat down and grabbed a magazine each: having the same thought that this would be the only thing to really entertain them here.

And the hero Sora, who walked with them, almost wished he could grab one himself. Because when was the last time he'd done any pastime like this?

But back to the memory:

Fortunately, even though this had been a place just for girls, there were enough guy things in these magazines that Sora and Riku could keep themselves occupied with them.

Sora now recollected, as he smiled widely—one of the few times he had since Kairi's death—that he'd been taking a quiz to see if he was Pecan or Rocky Road ice cream here…But Riku ended up distracting that thought when he spoke.

"So, are you happy to be fourteen?" Riku had queried, as he'd suddenly pulled out a large piece of gum and looked like he was trying to find a way to slice it into three pieces: as their true substitute cake.

And before Kairi had given her answer, Sora had tried to guess if she'd try to look at this in some eloquent way—or find something in her mind that explained how she had already changed—but she just shrugged it off, and explained it like it was:

"I don't feel any different yet, actually."

Present Sora could get why she'd say this. Because… really? Each birthday wasn't monumental, you found out as you got older. As time seemed to blur, and you realized there was no reason to fear the future—like there wasn't for him now—but the young him had been somewhat… saddened, that Kairi seemed to indicate there'd be no instant magic when he turned fourteen after her.

But that wasn't what mattered now… No, what mattered now was Kairi. And maybe it had always been Kairi, as Sora had told his friends before using the Power of Waking once more.

And Kairi in this montage, was now putting her hands on both Sora's and Riku's shoulders as she questioned the obvious:

"So I have to know. What inspired you guys to have my birthday party here? Not that I'm complaining!"

And even now—as Sora thought strongly about trying to embrace the past Kairi this time… though he knew that wouldn't work any more than trying to touch her cheek had—Sora barely knew the answer to that question:

Had it been because they thought Kairi would want a break from the hustle and bustle the mayor would have been doing for her birthday, or to try and get her ready for the more mundane ones she, and they, would have in the future?

Or, actually... Sora's past self had known the true answer, huh? And somehow the current one had already forgotten it… and that scared him terribly.

"Because we couldn't wait to spend time with you. So with you to your hair appointment, we went!"

And the clip show faded away, as the three of them each got a piece of gum.

And since that memory had been what dreams were made of… Sora had thought maybe he was on the right track with this healing thing, and that he'd faced the last of the Nightmare Kairis.

But the fact that it wasn't, and they attacked him relentlessly—five slicing his chest with blades, two biting his neck, and three pulling his arm behind his back, and the last slamming his face into the next glass before he could go into it—should have been his first sign that something was wrong.

Darkness! There was so much Darkness, that Sora couldn't see anything. And he was as afraid as he had been on that night of fate, what felt like so long ago.

But this Darkness couldn't have been… Kairi's.

So whose was it?

From the get-go—even though Sora has thought his astral body had been separated from his physical one during his visits into Kairi's memories, so he couldn't feel the pain from the Kairi Nightmares in the visions—Sora felt his heart laboring in his chest, and his sight tunneling.

Though if it was from what he'd been through here, or because he was dying from using the Power of Waking, he didn't know.

Oh.

It was this… disgusting memory. (Wait, what?)

The one where Kairi had been over at Sora's after he'd gotten back from his quest...

And she had a knife to her stomach—acting like she was about to try and cut off one of the rolls on her stomach, before she laughed it off.

Combined together now—the astral and the physical, as they began to faint—both Soras started to tell Kairi that she didn't have to do that, and she was beautiful!

But the present Sora never got to say that she was that.

Instead, he was violently pulled from… this as an army of Sora Nightmares dived at him.

He helplessly raised his Keyblade against them, the way he had the Dusks that he'd first faced... but he knew it wouldn't be enough.

But then she appeared.

"Sora, silly, don't you remember? That wasn't about me trying to mutilate myself at all. I was just holding that knife to cut the big cookie we were going to eat. And I was also holding a water bottle then, and the knife accidentally punctured it... We then joked my water broke. And even back then, I was sort of wishing it would... with a child of yours in the future.

"Sora, you're so ashamed of yourself for... not protecting me, that you're effecting my heart and making your own phantoms attack you. These Nightmares were always yours, not mine. And for that reason, you're seeing the memories where you think you should've been a better boyfriend to me… And it's so bad, that some have even begun to lie to you.

"But you shouldn't feel this way. My death was my fault. All mine... You shouldn't be here, but now I'll protect you!"

And just when Sora had needed it, Kairi had created a barrier to protect him.

And Kairi washed these Nightmares in so much of her Light—that this fractured part of Sora's heart returned to him peacefully, as if it was a missing puzzle piece.

And for a moment, he breathed evenly again.

It was then that Sora started crying, as he held onto Kairi's hands once more: and thank the gods, that he was doing this!

"Kairi, I'm so sorry!" Sora exclaimed, knowing full well how doomed this all was. And really, he'd always known.

Because even if Kairi had recompleted herself and could make it back to the surface now, they were still chosen for tragedy and could never be together.

And as if fate got a kick out of torturing him, now that he'd found the one that mattered most—the one he'd done all of this for—he was already fading away.

First, she might as well have faded in her memories when he'd tried to touch her. And now this.

But Sora didn't care, so long as Kairi was okay.

And was she after what Xehanort had done to her? Sora wasn't too sure.

For one thing, he imagined she'd always have a long gash down her back that would never heal, and he hated it hated it hated it!

"I did fail you," Sora assured his princess, as he again looked into the large, expressive eyes that had made him love her. If only he could have gotten lost in them… and not in death.

"I promised that I'd protect you, and I didn't! You had to die the worst death I've ever seen for... for no reason! And I didn't even get to help you recomplete yourself. I guess I dove into your heart for no reason, and-"

At this point, as he rambled onto a point where he just began stuttering, Kairi just hugged Sora as her astral form pulled him out of her heart. And in some mysterious way, her having done that led their physical bodies into pecking each other's lips.

It was their first kiss, and it was sweet as could be—Sora even thought he was probably doing the foot popping thing, and he felt like he was flying in Neverland again-but it couldn't last, and Sora was starting to find how bittersweet the world could be.

But breaking away—probably because she didn't want their first real kiss to be like this—Kairi had to say her piece, about Sora having not used the Power wrong to save her like he had with everyone else.

"I'm glad you didn't, Sora. As a Princess of Heart... God, I know things! ...I didn't at the time… But I know what the task I carelessly put on your shoulders, of saving everyone, cost you. So I'm selfishly glad I won't be more responsible for… this than I already am."

Sora knew he should have been saying something to Kairi's own self-loathing now—he was aware of it with every fiber of his being—but he didn't.

Because Kairi had been right about one thing: Sora had been torturing himself about her a little too much, and that was what had led to this precarious situation he'd just been in a moment ago.

So, maybe he didn't always have to jump in to save Kairi, and to think the worst of himself while doing so.

The heart was so many emotions—as Sora had always been quick to tell anyone—and negative emotions came with that, too.

Maybe he should let her pain be hers, and his his… But that didn't mean they couldn't try to lessen it, either.

"So, what now?" Sora begged, as he found himself leaning his forehead against Kairi's, like he'd dreamt of doing for so long.

How great it felt to actually be able to touch her again! If only for a while…

And perchance he really was starting to lose it, because even though Sora knew his time was nearly up...

He was giddy that he had been able to find Kairi, and they could finally be together where there were no lies. Even one second longer that he would have had to wait for this, really would have been too long.

In the natural world now, and in Sora and Kairi's hearts, the sun was coming up and it was time to face whatever the morning brought with it.

"We go back to the place we made our vow, and pray for a better ending... my love," was Kairi's answer, as tears glistened in her eyes that Sora could tell she would not let shed.

And it was clear by the fact that Kairi had said the last—but hadn't restated it, because she was a bit shy—that she meant every word.

And even if Sora had felt Light in his heart many times because of his friends, and even via Kairi before, it had never been like this.

Sora was already dead: He'd known that the moment Young Xehanort had told him as much.

And, yeah: if he really focused on the pain from that now, it was unendurable.

And yet… with Kairi, anything seemed possible. And Sora could almost believe he'd find a way back to the surface, and they'd be together again… And there wasn't any better world out their, than that belief.

But Sora's expression must have darkened for a moment, because Kairi seemed hesitant to summon her Keyblade and make them a pathway home (for Sora could tell as flowers had begun twining up her arm, in her summoning animation, that that was what she was planning on).

Perhaps because she saw getting home as being just for her; and that if she just didn't stay here working up a way to save him… it would be some sort of betrayal in her eyes.

But if she did think that, Sora instantly silenced that fear with a look. And so Kairi did summon Destiny's Embrace, to lead them home again:

Like she had the first time, and a time after that.

And holding hands in that intimate way they had just a few hours ago, they both turned to Light, went through the ether, and ended up back Destiny Islands like Sora had with Riku after fighting Xemnas.

And in Sora's heart, it felt good to do this with Kairi: to experience new things with her, like they had first dreamed about.

While they were still air, Sora brushed an incorporeal hand against Kairi's face—and oh, she felt it. And Sora relished in how she bowed her head into his hand more—and said the words he'd been too afraid to before this: "I love you."

Somehow, being his namesake right now—and Kairi nearly being her own, as they fell closer and closer to it—gave him the confidence to be this thing the self-conscious boy never could've been otherwise: love incarnate, he supposed.

Because Sora had just been... so smitten, to witness this proof that sea and sky could be together outside of the Final World, and always had been… and always would be.

And mayhap Kairi's befuddlement—befuddlement and love, Sora thought. Because he was very much the same when it came to Kairi—at his confession is what had her staring at his face, as he took in every inch of hers for the end of their time together.

In another life, Sora would have kissed her here…

But in this one, he was sadly joining the ether once more.

So Sora made love with their joined hands even moreso.

And gave the one he treasured most in the world, the kind of card that would perfectly fit her crazy hair and appearances… that would even be the key to saving him, and their love...

The Wild Card.

And Sora knew that with every fiber of his being, as he allowed himself to reach for a Kairi he couldn't touch one last time. And secretly kissed her cheek, before he was looking at his hand there.

Author’s Note: Some explanation about this story: I don't know why. But when I was first envisioning this scenario… I imagined Sora going through some place that looked like the Cavern of Remembrance, as Nightmare Kairis—that were really Nightmare Soras, and his own guilt about everything—attacked him as rocks fell down… and then eventually Kairi finally got her chance to shine and came in and rescued HIM.

But I then realized that those visuals weren't at all consistent with how we saw Sora saving the others' hearts in KHIII.

So I then tried to keep my original ideas, but stay true to that—that was when the stained-glass platforms of Kairi that Sora dove to came in (but since those for sure felt like Kairi's heart, that meant Sora used the Power of Waking RIGHT this time. Because he traversed hearts to find worlds, as he was supposed to do. So I had to work it in, that Sora was doomed even before he did this… which I think he was).

And since I was having those platforms, it just seemed that I had to have memories attached to each one and literally delve into them.

This allowed me to put in two ideas I've always had for SoKai.

The first is the idea of Sora and Kairi hating each other at first, but then growing to like each other and falling in love… Because I love that trope. But to have it work for SoKai and stay (mostly) true to canon, I had to have it that they only felt that way about each other for five seconds when they were dumb kids.

And I also had the idea of Kairi standing on a rock in the sea after young her and Sora's fight, YEARS before KHIII came out and I had this idea about boulders assaulting Sora as he tried to save her there. So those two things lent themselves well to each other.

And the second thing, is that I've always had the headcanon that Kairi changes her hairstyle every year (why? Because young Kairi, KHI Kairi, KHII Kairi, and Another Side Another Story Kairi all have different hair. Though KHIII Kairi is where I choose to say that she broke this trend, as that looks the same as her four-year-old hair), and that it led to some pretty crazy hairdos…

Which is how the Queen stuff came into this, because I needed to expand on one of her weird hair choice. But it's just not for that, that the band Queen is here—or just because of my love for Queen, I swear—but because Sora and Kairi somewhat remind me of Freddie Mercury and Mary Austin, so there's some attempted (though possibly failed) clever writing at that part.

There's also a theme of "appearance" throughout this whole fic.

Edit: Oh, and at one point Sora wrongfully thinks of a beautician as a barber. That's because he's a silly boy, who doesn't know better;)

[applegelstore]

My sis and I are through with the actual main plot of KH3, so I can officially go back to scheduled ToZ fangirling now. …Well, I promised Cray a bit of fix-it-fanart, so after that, I guess.

Hit the cut for a resume. It got super long and has endgame story spoilers, so you might not want to stumble upon it by accident.

Another extra big shoutout (again!) to @crazayrock for bearing my liveblogging on Discord, screaming without context and occasional spoilers. And linking me fluffy Soriku doujinshi. Here, have my favourite, spoiler-heavy excerpt of our conversation:

Okay anyway, let’s get started: GAMEPLAY

Kingdom Hearts 3 is BEAUTIFUL. The gameplay is so smooth and intuitive that you can immediately get to playing like you’d never done anything else; in fact so smooth that I doubt I will ever be able to pick up the first game ever again. It’s always been fun, but the looooooong years’ gap actually did wonders to the gameplay.

The keyblade form changes are fun and keep things fresh, you can do flashy triangle button shit every other minute, and shotlock is still insanely useful without being a game-breaker.

It seems easier than the first two main games, though?

The gummi ship is still a pain in the ass to steer, but I do enjoy the open world-like travel options (even if there’s not… much to discover except heartless lasering the shit out of you). I’m also eternally grateful that they kept the gummi ship thing from KH2 where you can just use a new gummi ship once you got the blueprint and don’t buy actual fucking legos as in the first game.

Thank you, Square. Not thanking you for the dumb cherry flan game, though.

The Caribbean being basically an open world stage was delightful! Apparently what our resident island kid needs is a big ship and tropical islands to plunder.

VISUALS AND STUFF

PRETTY LIGHTS EVERYWHERE

The long gap between the games also did wonders to the visuals.

There’s finally, FINALLY a few towns with actual NPCs you can talk to. Why it took the team so many years and the Gods know how many games is beyond me. The magic effects are beautiful, the animations smooth (honestly you can hardly tell apart cutscenes and fully rendered CGI scenes in this day and age of the PS4. I’m probably the only person still amazed by this because the only games I played on PS4 before were a few hours of Child of Light and of course Tales of Zestiria and Berseria. No, I still haven’t played FFXV but that’s a topic for another day). How far videogames have come.Even space finally looks like space, lol. Not really high-end what the PS4 can do I assume but god, it’s such an amazing and much needed upgrade from the terrible textureless colourful tubes you flew through before.

No excuse for the terrible battleship thingy before the Keyblade Graveyard, though. I got lost and beaten up so many times and crashed against more walls than I can count.

Nothing beats the World that Never Was, but the Keyblade Graveyard also has creepy cool potential, as does the beautiful but ghosted City in the Sky.

Still not getting what’s with JRPGs and very Definitely Final Dungeons (TM) that are basically space. …………or heaven. Or nothing. I’m getting the bad kind of original NGE TV series ending vibes. But. Okay.

The soundtrack is splendid

.……I miss Traverse Town and Radiant Garden, however.

Which brings us to:

THE WORLDS

I guess I can live with no more Final Fantasy characters being there (although I always loved that), and the meta jokes in Toy Story world really got me. Seeing Disney characters calling the KH villains call out on their shit was delightful. …the KH characters lampshading their own games’ sloppy dialogue writing was delightful.Still, those Disney worlds are always so much more in my head than what I actually get to play. This has been bugging me ever since the first game and it still does. I do not expect or want to replay the entire movies, but would it hurt to give the cutscenes some goddamn background music? Whenever there’s cutscenes, either the world’s usual BGM keeps playing or the music stops altogether. Together with the shortened dialogues and generally drastically shortened plots with odd cuts, that leads to scenes that are awkward at best. They never even remotely have the impact the movies had. You just sit there and think “oh wow that is so silly and awkward”.

Dancing scene in Corona? My favorite scene in Tangled. Zero impact on me without the lovely BGM (at least they made it a minigame so the moment isn’t over after 3 secs). Just for example. You can ask me like, world by world, but I can think of only exception off the top of my head and it’s not helping:

Let it Go of course. Listen guys, I actually love the song. But it’s so overused (and Frozen is an overrated movie at best that doesn’t deserve its hype in the slightest) that I can’t even really enjoy it being there. Like.


IF THAT’S OKAY WITH YOU,WHY DIDN’T YOU INCLUDE LITERALLY ANY OTHER ORIGINAL SONG FROM THE ORIGINAL MOVIES. Instead of BGM just not being there entirely, or in odd, cringey re-renderings that nobody wants to listen to (*cough* Atlantica *cough*).

Why torture me and not give me the one good scene from At World’s End (the up is down scene) when you had the chance?Kingdom Hearts is also prone to super lazy level design and wasting chances at wonderful scenery for no apparent reason other than I suppose empty cliffsides are quick to render. All games before did that, and KH3 is, sadly, no exception. We get to see a bit of Corona and Athens and they finally have NPCs, too, but you cannot even get near Arendelle. You cannot enter Elsa’s palace. You spend the entire time there climbing around in the snowy mountains of Norway, and unfortunately it looks less interesting than one would expect from the lovely concept art that the film unfortunately never used.You cannot enter Rapunzel’s tower although Sora can apparently parkour his way up even without her help.

………In short, the places you can go are, again, very limited, and a lot of interesting places and scenes you never get to see.

And to follow the plot you still only need the stuff that does NOT happen in those Disney worlds because they’re all beach filler episodes. It’s always been like that, but I keep wondering whether I’m the only one bothered by that. I’m also still salty they didn’t introduce a single new world from a 2D animated movie.

Also, as I said, I miss Traverse Town, it felt so warm and welcoming and beautiful.

And I get behind The World that Never Was missing although I loved it there, but why not give us back Radiant Garden? Destiny Islands since they’ve been restored? Disney Castle?

As much as I love the series, it never fucking lives up to its own potential. Idk whether it’s made more difficult by copyright issues or whatever, I just know that it bugs me.The first two games also had like twice as many worlds.

PLOT

I mean it’s never been deep; however, it’s complicated. No analysis or whatever from me because plot analysis and meta writing bore me like seven hells, just my emotional reaction: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 
Okay, bad news. I got into it expecting nothing, and still got disappointed. I don’t actually enjoy the prospect of writing essays about it, but here’s my tea with it; in not particular order:

1) the pacing is terrible. Nothing happens for like 30 hours and then suddenly like 20 characters’ arcs are (naturally poorly) resolved within the last few hours of cutscenes. Build up anyone? At least they actually did pick up Maleficent and the box thing again. …In the epilogue.

2) Speaking of build ups, Sora’s breakdown could have been developed nicely and steadily over the game to feel natural, and instead it’s hinted at in the beginning by everyone picking on him, but then it’s never further developed and comes out of fucking nowhere. Like. For real? It felt terribly OOC.

3) Why on earth have they shown 90% of the plot in the trailers already, and why are those scenes so massively disappointing in context

4) Kairi. Oh god, Kairi. What are we gonna do with you. I want to love her, I really do, but she’s a prime example of shittily written female leads. Mostly because she’s not leading. It’s not her fault. She’s just a fictional character. But honest to God, Nomura, why. Her screen time is almost nonexistent, and she’s entirely use- and helpless whenever she’s on screen (which isn’t often). Her ONLY point in the plot is being rescued because she is fucking useless. Why. Just why. Why waste her character like that. All we know is that she’s shoehorned into being the token love interest, but she has zero plot relevance and there is even less build up of her relationship with Sora. It’s all tell and NEVER show; and not even much telling, either. She has literally zero direct interaction with in the entire game before they share their paopu. The question remains: why are straights like this

5) On a related note: look, I don’t even ask for (or expect, or even hope) my ship to be canon. Squeenix doesn’t exactly have a rich history in queer representation. I’m totally fine with Sora and Riku being best friends. BUT. Building up Sora as the most important person in Riku’s life (and arguably, vice versa) over the course of several games, just to then hardly have them interact in the finale and then SUDDENLY bring back Kairi into the equation, who hasn’t interacted with him since the ending of KH2 (except for one unsent(?) letter) is just piss poor writing, period.I actually love Cray’s suggestion she gave me over Discord: let Sora, Kairi and Riku all share a paopu together (and let them group hug, too, you cowards). It would have been the perfect message to send (Sora as truly all-loving hero, and loving all your friends equally; romantic love isn’t more important than platonic love and doesn’t need to be singled out). Really sad that this isn’t what happens. Apparently that wouldn’t have been no homo enough.

LET THE DESTINY TRIO GROUP HUG YOU COWARDS


Do Riku and Kairi even interact once in the whole game?


HOW IS THIS A TRIO, IT’S JUST A SHITTILY WRITTEN LOVE TRIANGLE

6) Time travelling is a bitch, Christ. It doesn’t solve plotholes or can be played for drama, it just adds MORE plotholes. It just got WORSE. The cloning blues and people not aging doesn’t help, either.

7) Just so you know, I care absolutely zero for wild fan theories. You’re not Nomura. I want a statement from the man who wrote this shit himself why on bloody earth Sora dies when he apparently successfully found and brought back Kairi (and since nobody aged a day, apparently it didn’t even take that long lol). DUDES, THIS IS KINDA PART OF THE PLOT, AND YOU DON’T BOTHER TO EXPLAIN IT INGAME???? And how was Ienzo/Zexion able to revive Naminé while Kairi was still missing/dead/whatever…?

Okay so in short the writing is worse than ever and that’s saying something.

However, let’s try to find something good in this trainwreck; it wasn’t all bad. There’s some really nice scenes which sadly are better enjoyed without any context at all.

So, guess my favourite scenes.You had time enough, here’s the solution:

1) Purifying uhm er rescuing Aqua. Poor girl. She deserves the rest. Poor, poor Aqua. The only properly wirrten female in the whole damn franchise. Also the only person other than Riku who fucking gets shit done.

2) The Gayblade (TM)

3) Happy Axel in the reunion with his kids. Oh god, the poor chap deserves it so much. Thank you, Nomura. I don’t care that it makes pretty much no sense. Make him happy. Give him his friends back. Just give Axel all his friends and let him happily set things on fire. Hi I love Axel

4) The party at the beach cutscene before the credits roll. Axel and Xion get clothes. Half the organization is on our side now. I almost teared up at the Wayfinder trio saying goodbye to Eraqus’ forceghost. Hey come on he’s the voice of Luke Skywalker

5) Sully yeeting Vanitas

6) Woody calling out Xehanort that nobody loves him

7) Jack Sparrow bad breathing Luxord

I wish we had gotten:

1) justice for Kairi

2) a happy Zexion, the poor emo kid. Well maybe now he will be, with all the orga members who changed sides now, lol.

3) I will never trust mobile games ever again so I don’t want to play KHUX but I would have loved to learn about the Keyblade Wars :;))))


WHAT WAS THE KEYBLADE WAR ABOUT CAN WE SPEND MORE TIME IN THAT COOL CITY IN THE SKY WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH MIKLEO
I MEAN THAT EPHEMER KIDDO


WHAT’S WITH THE MASKED DUDES AND DUDETTES FROM THE MOVIE


WTF WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM AFTER THE MOVIE???? WHERE THOSE KEYBLADE USER NAMES ACTUAL MOBILE GAME PLAYER NAMES??? Next game? PLEASE?

I really, REALLY hope the epilogue means we will get Xiggy/Luxu as our new big bad and we learn more about the five dudes and dudettes from the movie. Please. PLEASE. I’m so up for it. Them finally pickung up the bit with Maleficent and the mysterious box again? Hell yeah.

The secret movie was really unexciting in comparison, although I laughed very hard at the “Verum Rex” scene in Toy Story world. Maybe that’s why it was much cheaper to unlock than in KH1 and KH2.

4) give Ven a drink

DLC ideas I would actually pay for because I’m a sad human being: 1) more Disney worlds 2) Japanese audio 3) at least one of the following as permanently playable characters: Riku, Kairi, Axel, Ven, Aqua. At least as a guest member as in KH2. THIS SUCH A BIG STEP BACKWARDS I’M FUMING

FINAL THOUGHTS

Kingdom Hearts 3 is a hella lot of fun, beautiful, and also moving when it sets its mind to it. Unfortunately it doesn’t always do so. I don’t feel like it wasn’t worth the wait; it was. However, I’m very salty how rotten the writing is. I do not mind logical fallacies, I do not mind the cheesiness and cringeyness; however, I do mind how so many interesting characters do not get the screentime they deserve, and Kairi is a very bad joke.

I’ll probably find more to nitpick about (Gods. Just. Don’t come up with dub excuses why Sora is lv 1 in each game. JUST LEAVE IT BE. You don’t explain why Donald and Goofy are lv 1 again, either. JUST. LEAVE. IT. BE. The sacrifice was dumb and not even moving, I’m just still furious that Kairi’s ONLY point in the plot is being so useless that it’s literally getting herself KILLED and she needs constant rescuing to the point that Sora has to sacrifice himself for her, effectively. Kairi deserves better, Sora deserves better, I deserve better than to think about this absurdity.…I’m just… gonna cherry-pick the good bits from the lore and try to pretend the finale didn’t exist, I guess. GODS.

[enbiart]

Enouement

Words: 2973

Summary:  Enouement; Noun.

         The bittersweet feeling of having arrived in the future and seeing how things turn out, without being able to tell your past self.

“We have a plan to find the answers that you seek. However, we have need for your help. You must help secure all of the vessels.”

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Secure the vessels -- thirteen people to be used to house his older self’s heart. Thirteen darknesses, just like the stories and records of the Keyblade War. And that was Xehanort’s mission. To use his newly gifted magic to travel through the threads of time and make sure that they were all present and accounted for. Nothing more, nothing less. A simple mission.

At least, until he failed.

Sora was right there, and he was so close. Sora was going to be the last vessel, the Thirteenth Member. And then, his mission would be complete. All the Darknesses would have been assembled in one place, just as he had been ordered.

And afterwords, he mission would be complete, and Xehanort would’ve been free to leave. His job would be done. He would go back to his own time, train, and follow the path laid before him.

But then, that boy had to arrive and ruin everything. It was infuriating, it was embarrassing, it was... it was…

It was the worst thing that could’ve possibly happened.

Thanks to that brat, he was stuck serving in the future. He was not supposed to stay here this long. As far as Xehanort was concerned, he should have been long gone by now. Far away (both distance-wise and time-wise) on Destiny Islands, waiting and training to be a keyblade master. The fact that he was still here, in this god-awful castle, was pure torture to the young man. It’s not that he wasn’t interested in staying to see what came of his older self’s keyblade war, he was just...tired. Time travel took a lot out of you, no matter how skilled you were in the magic.

When he first arrived, it was easy to just focus on the mission. All he had to do was jump between a few years every now and then, make sure to witness the member becoming a vessel, and occasionally picking a fight with any one that put up too much of a resistance. In fact, he hardly had to interact with the actual vessel-to-be at all, if you exclude Sora. Back then, all he had to do was watch and witness. Confirm that a member was introduced. Compile potential candidates. It was easy, it was simple, and best of all, Xehanort didn’t have to interact with many of the actual worlds he visited. He wanted to, of course, when he first started traveling. But he quickly learned that there is a stark difference between the worlds as he knows them, and the same worlds fifty years into the future. All of the new technology made his head spin, and he’d rather not look like an idiot in front of the Organization, thank you very much.

But now, with all the more time he’s having to spend going back and forth between the worlds, Xehanort may not have a choice.

The more time he spends in this time, the more and more likely he would have to interact with its advancements. He curses the fool that thought any of this tech was necessary to have in day-to-day life.

He also noted that he often speaks differently from the others in the Organization. And this revelation came with oh, so much annoyance. He was not at all a very social person, but that doesn’t make it any less infuriating when he can hardly follow a simple conversation. He was observational by nature, and enjoyed listening far more than talking, but that is near impossible when the evolution of language makes it to where he has no idea what anyone is saying. He isn’t stupid, he tells himself, It’s just how people work. But that doesn’t do much to quell his frustration of needing Xemnas to tell him what the others’ mean when they speak.

Not that they speak to Xehanort often. No, if anything, they almost seem to go out of their way to not talk to him. He could sort of understand, he supposes - After all, who would be comfortable with talking to the younger version of their boss? And he’s not complaining about the lack of camaraderie, of course not. He honestly couldn’t care less about whether or not the lackeys spoke to him. The thing that he was complaining about was the lack of communication between him and his older self. It’s not that he’s looking for some sort of ””friendship””, no, that’d be weird.

But, would it hurt to know what the endgame was? What were they even trying to accomplish? Before, Xehanort was fine not knowing. He had a been given a mission, and he was perfectly content to simply do it. Back then, it didn’t matter that he only had a vague idea of their goal. It’s not like he was going to stick around long enough for any more involvement.

Except, he did.

And now, he thinks it does matter.

However, absolutely no one would answer him. No amount of threatening the inferiors, no amount of pleading to the older ones’ interests, nothing would give him the answers he sought.

How ironic, he thought, that he was promised answers, only to be given more forbidden questions.

The only thing that he could do is speculate why they wouldn’t answer him. It was so stupid that he was keeping secrets from himself. And there were multiple times where Xehanort thought that he himself was stupid for questioning the other him. It was stupid for someone such as him to not trust himself. But then, he would always find himself at a thought:

Back in his time, no one would answer his questions about Kingdom Hearts and the Keyblade War for fear of him turning to the Darkness; So, then, was he being withheld answers for fear of him turning to the light?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, Xehanort managed it.

He got his answers.

And, by god, he hates himself for it.

Yes, he wanted answers, and yes, he was frustrated at everyone’s constant hatred of the Darkness.

But he didn’t want answers this bad. (Apparently, Xeha, you do, he tells himself. Just look at what you’re going to do when you’re older.)

Looking at the lengths that his older self went to just to understand a simple piece of history, to just prove the others wrong, to just satiate curiosity, made him sick to his stomach. He had ruined the lives of so many, had created tragedy after tragedy, had murdered innocent people, and it was horrifying. He knows that he’s not the most compassionate person, but he’s not heartless, damnit. (Not yet, anyway.)

If he was tired before, then he was flat out exhausted nowadays. Back then, the only thing that really bothered him was the strain of jumping back and forth between years. And now, not only is his physical stamina expended casting spells, but his mental endurance was quite thoroughly being tested. Every new mission that he’s given, every new assignment to focus on, ends up being analyzed closely to see just how much it affected others. Xehanort never really cared about others before, but then again, he never watched friends and families get torn apart with only a ‘So be it’ from the man that did it. And before, he wasn’t equipped with the power to see the outcome for himself.

If anyone accused him of watching the Guardians, he would simply say that he was doing reconnaissance. Gathering information. And it wasn’t very far from the truth, after all, he was observing them. He was simply looking for different answers.

And Xehanort quite often found himself just….watching them, in his free time.

The people whose lives he, personally, ruined.

And they shocked him, at first. They joked and laughed and played and talked and enjoyed themselves and each other and he didn’t understand. They were torn from their normal lives and forced into a war, and made to fight impossible enemies and sometimes even each other, and there they were goofing off as if nothing ever happened. It was curious, and strange, and he wanted to keep watching more than he likes to admit. (And in a very small part of his heart, hidden deep within, he knew himself to be a bit jealous of their ability to make the most of the situation.)

So, he kept watching. And watching. Day after day, whenever he had free time (an odd concept for a time traveler), he was watching. Observing. Noting how they seemed to spend more time together after a fight, how seemed to have relay words without speaking, how they were so hopeful even in such bleakness.

And it was one of those days where Xehanort was just watching, that it hit him. It was when the girl, Kairi he tells himself, and that Axel- No, Lea, were just finishing up a training session. Even he could tell that they were getting better with their keyblades, which was quite a nice thing to know, if he were to ever encounter them face-to-face. And it was right after they dismissed their keyblades and Lea ran into the tower to get something for the two of them - and Xehanort’s eyes widened slightly at seeing the man run back outside holding two bright blue objects in his hands.

It may have been years since Xehanort was in his home world (Had it really been years, or just one really long day?), but there was no way that he’d ever forget what his favorite ice cream looked like. He watched the keyblade wielders chat happily and snack on the sweet, vaguely remembering something about Axel frequently going out for ice cream when he was still in the Organization, when he felt a sharp pain in his chest. Something caused his heart to seize up, and brought tears to his eyes that threatened to overflow.

And that’s when it hit him. That one, nearly unremarkable moment, brought upon him a realization that hit him harder than any heartless, nobody, or unversed ever could.

He missed home.

As that epiphany struck him, his knees buckled and he let out a yelp, completely giving his position above the Guardians away. They quickly got up and scanned the area, searching for the intruder, and just narrowly missing him as he summoned a dark corridor anywhere but there.

He missed home.

He, who spent most of his life yearning for more, to know what was beyond the oceans, to be far away from the stifling islands, missed his home. The fact that he was even referring to the Destiny Islands as home spoke yards about his mental state.

Maybe Xehanort spent too long watching the Guardians. Maybe, even through just observing, some of their sentimental light rubbed off on him. He shouldn’t do it anymore. It was idiotic to do it in the first place, and it would be even more so now that he revealed that he had been watching. He should quit his nonsensical ””hobby”” and go back to focusing solely on his work.

And yet, the thought of cutting himself off from that was terrifying. He had spent so long watching their interactions and he found himself wanting it. He yearned for more. The carefree jokes and laughter, the encouraging words and helpful tips - All of it. Xehanort did not think himself as sentimental by any means, but watching those Guardians of Light simply be friends….

He wished for it, too.

Deep in his heart, where despite himself, he knows that must logically have some light left, he wanted friends (He wanted his friend.).He wanted to join them. He despised his older self at this point, was disgusted by what he would turn out to be, and genuinely thought that he would rather be of the light.

But he knows he can’t.

By all the rules of time magic, he can’t.

No matter how much he missed home, no matter how much he missed his fellow apprentices, no matter how much he hated being a part of such an awful scheme, he can’t.

For all intents and purposes, time travel absolutely forbids it. That is, if he wants to return home. And, by god he does. The magic that he uses sends his heart forward and backward through time, leaving his body behind. Meaning, that even if he defects and joins the Guardians, even if he allows his heart back into the Light, his actual body still belongs to a heart of darkness. It wouldn’t be able to handle going from a heart belonging to Darkness to a heart belonging to Light in the fraction of a second; It wouldn’t be possible. Meaning, that if he did in fact leave the Organization, he wouldn’t be able to inhabit his own body.

He wouldn’t be able to go home.

It just wouldn’t work.

And Xehanort couldn’t just leave either. Well, he could. Not for long, anyways.

Leaving behind his physical body means that he won’t actually remember any of his travels through the timeline. He could return to his own time, yes, but he wouldn’t be aware of the Organization’s plans anymore. Meaning, if they decided to just bring him back, he wouldn’t know to refuse. And, who’s to say that he’d suddenly remember it all over again if that happened? He could just go along with whatever they told him, blissfully unaware of what he was truly helping. He’d rather not be another pawn, especially not to himself.

It was a terrible predicament, and he cursed himself for falling for it. Really, he should’ve known better than to go along with a plan that he had no idea of. Xehanort was normally so much smarter than that. And, maybe that’s why he fell for it so easy. His older self would, without a doubt, know him best. His older self had more experience, and quite definitely knew his own strengths and weaknesses. It was almost silly how easy it must’ve been to trick him into this god awful role.

Xehanort found himself regretting, and wishing so much that his magic could be used to warn himself of what he was getting into.

But that’s not how it works.

[blackasteriia]

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Oh, boy. 

ONE

Between 358/2 Days and Kingdom Hearts 2, there is a brief period of time where Xion is the only active keyblade wielder. Sora is still asleep and Roxas is in data Twilight Town. Since I hold the belief that Xehanort and his iterations, including Xemnas, didn’t forget her due to timey-wimey shenanigans, I would be shocked if Xemnas didn’t want to capture Xion again. Xion has amnesia and she’s recovering from her fight with Roxas-- She’s vulnerable and confused. She has own keyblade now and if Xemnas needed wielder to complete kingdom hearts, then surely she was worth the resources. Then why wasn’t Xion captured?

In my opinion, it was her replicate ability. Xion isn’t that powerful, she’s physically strong and her magic is not to be underestimated, but her replicate ability is what makes her dangerous. Her only limit is one person at a time otherwise she can completely copy someone’s power set. Fighting her is like fighting yourself plus Xion. Thus, Xion can go toe-to-toe with any given Organization member, at least in a duel setting. Anymore could overwhelm her. So, yes, Xemnas and Xigbar together could defeat Xion, and capture her but, she could also manage enough to escape. Once Sora awakened Xemnas likely decided she wasn’t worth the trouble. At least until she started to regain her memories and becomes a thorn in the Organization’s side towards the end of KH2. Then he likely just wanted her dead. 

TWO

Xion’s trauma around Xemnas is complex and difficult. He orchestrated her life in the Organization to manipulate and control her. However, he was remote and they rarely if ever interacted, which is why Saix is far more difficult for Xion to deal with. When Xemnas completed her, it was painful, torturous, violating, and terrifying. He wanted a Sora clone that was obedient and powerful, and that is what Xion would have become. And yet, for all his schemes, plans, and  experiments, he failed. Xion broke the programming and not only survived but Roxas escaped too. So that at the end of 358/2 Days, he had no keyblade wielder at all. She didn’t stop him but I’d argue she tripped him and gave Sora the chance to defeat Xemnas once and for all. For all the pain and torture, Xion survived and she won. 

So after Kingdom Hearts 3 when Xemnas pops back-up, she feel nothings but apathy and pity. As far as she’s concerned? Let him suffer with his brand new heart for the rest of his miserable life. She’s already been vindicated. 

THREE

That said, if Xion ever encountered an injured or exhausted Xemnas you can bet money on her helping him. Xion cannot walk away from someone who is hurt even if they are her enemy, it is not in her nature. She’d be salty about it and stay at arm’s length, but she’d do it. But then on the reverse we have threads where he helps her? I’ll also add that any remote kindness or for lack of better word, affection, from Xemnas baffles Xion. That’s more disturbing than if he was just an asshole to her. 

FOUR

Xion and Xemnas are both curious individuals who are both intellectually motivated. You mentioned once that they both have this tendency to break words down their most simple definitions and I think that’s a sign of wanting to understand. Xion lacks experience and can come off as a little dumb, but she does have an incredible drive to learn. For example she mostly taught herself how to read. If Xion believes he knows something that she wants to know? She will ask and if he’s willing to teach, then she will learn. 

We’ve talked about them playing scrabble, but I can also see them playing chess. With enough practice I’m certain Xion could come to give even Xemnas a challenge. It would be a longer time still before she could beat him, but boy would she try. 

BONUS

lbr, Xemnas is going to drag Xion to get a haircut one of these days and it’s only a matter of time before he snaps 

[a-crack-in-the-universe]

Time is Everything

She stays by his bedside and watches him sleep, holding his hand as if it’s precious. His face is smoothed over, as if he’s shed years’ worth of hardship, though she can still see some lines between his brows and shadows beneath his eyes.

If he looks like that, god knows what state she’s in. She really doesn’t want to look into a mirror to find out. (She’s had quite enough of mirrors after her time in the Realm of Darkness.)

The battle to subdue Terra had been quick, but difficult. As she’d expected, Terra (or rather, Xehanort) had resisted her attempts to convince Terra to come with her peacefully, and had drawn his keyblade. She’d drawn hers in response, and the fight had begun. By the end of it, neither of them had been in good shape. Terra had been all but unconscious, with dark bruises and cuts littering his body. She herself can barely stand, let alone sit, her bruises hurt so much from when she’d been thrown hard to the ground by aeroga spells. Aerith wants her to rest and recover in bed, but she can’t make herself leave until she knows that Terra will be okay.

They’d told her, when she first brought him in, that there isn’t much they can do to help purify his heart of Xehanort’s darkness. He must win the battle himself—they can only restrain him, to stop the old corrupted master from escaping. So they placed him in one of the cells in the dungeons of the castle (Aqua made sure that they at least gave him a cot to sleep on), where the apprentices had imprisoned and tortured innocent people in the name of experimentation.      

She won’t let him endure this fight alone, Keyblade Master duties be damned. She’s tired of being dutiful. It’s what she done for most of her life, up until her fall into the Realm of Darkness, and she’s sick of it. For the first time, she chooses to focus on what she cares about most, and not push it aside for the sake of duty. What she wants right now is to be there for Terra, no matter if he can’t actually see or hear her.

And so she waits with him, her mind whirling with fear and hope. Soon, she thinks, it will all be over, and they can go return Ven’s heart to his body in Castle Oblivion together. Then the three of them will be a family again.

At some point, she must have fallen asleep, because she finds herself being shaken awake by Even. Without a word (and indeed, she’s too tired to say anything) she lifts her head from where it somehow found itself on the bit of pillow beside Terra’s head, and hauls herself to her feet, swaying. Even moves to steady her, but is stopped by the determined look on her face. He instead moves to open the door and lead her toward the laboratory, where Ansem and his apprentices wait.

Ienzo and Ansem are seated at the machines, typing and peering intently at a computer screen. They look up as she comes toward them.

‘Do you think this will work?’

Ienzo and Ansem look at each other, as if they’re debating what to tell her. Annoyance surges in her. She’s not a dainty flower—she can handle the truth, no matter how brutal it is. She is Master Aqua.

‘Please,’ she says quickly, before they can reply. ‘The full truth.’

‘We are hopeful,’ Ienzo tells her gravely. ‘But we can’t say what will happen.’

‘It will be painful,’ Ansem warns. ‘It may not be successful.’

‘But we have to try,’ Aqua says, shivering slightly. ‘I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do everything I could to save Terra.’

Ven, too.

Ansem nods. To her surprise, she thinks she sees a glimmer of sympathy in his eyes. ‘We will, you may count on it.’

She remembers that Xehanort, still in Terra’s body, had become Ansem’s apprentice after their battle in Radiant Garden. And had later brutally betrayed him and everything he stood for.

She squeezes his hand in gratitude. ‘Thank you.’

It takes five days to purify Terra. Five agonizing days, for both of them.

She stays by his side through all of it, watching as he shudders and writhes. Sometimes he wakes up and his eyes are a flickering blue. He calls her name, and Ven’s, and her heart squeezes at the pain and longing in his voice.

At other times his eyes are a cruel, terrifying gold. He snarls at her in an inhuman voice, saying terrible things that she knows Terra would never say to her if he were in his right mind. This Terra would attack her if he could. She casts a reflega spell just in case and waits until he stops.

Mercifully, he never manages to injure her. She knows that he would never forgive himself if he harmed her, unknowingly or not.

Once, he appears lucid. His hand reaches for her, and she can feel the desperation in his fingers as they grasp at her wrist.

She looks into his eyes and hopes. ‘Terra. Are you okay now?’  

‘N-no...’ He buries his head in her lap. ‘I’m scared. It... hurts…’

Her heart aches to see him like this, in this much pain. She has to do something for him, so she takes out her wayfinder—the one thing that had bolstered her courage while she was still trapped in the Realm of Darkness. Hopefully it will help Terra in his hour of need.  

‘Here,’ she says to him. ‘Remember this? It will lead you back to the light.’ She wraps his fingers around it and brings it to his chest. It glows faintly, pulsative to the rhythm of his heart.

He sighs; she can feel him relax underneath her fingertips. Good. Stay strong for me, Terra. For us. You have to win this, so the three of us can be together again. Please, Terra.  

She can’t tell if he can hear her, but she knows she sees his fingers move to grasp the wayfinder more tightly to his chest.    

On the fifth day, Aqua is woken up by the feel of a hand grasping at her shoulder. She immediately sits up, all remnants of sleep gone, ready to face the assailant. Then she remembers where she is and looks to one side. Sure enough, Terra is there, not just physically but mentally and spiritually.  

She looks deeply into his eyes. They don’t flicker anymore; there are no traces of gold left in them. Relief swells in her. The plan worked; Master Xehanort no longer holds any sway over Terra. She is so overjoyed that she could leap and dance, but instead she settles for gripping his hand and grinning wildly.

‘A…qua?’

She squeezes his hand in answer to his unspoken question. He relaxes imperceptibly, but there is still worry in his eyes.

‘Ven?’

‘He’s safe,’ she assures him. ‘We can go wake him up together as soon as you’re strong enough.’

He lets out a breath. ‘…good…’ His eyes flutter closed again. ‘You could’ve… woke him up… without me…’

She smiles and shakes her head. ‘I told Ven we’d both be there to wake him up. I couldn’t let him down.’    

His chest shakes with laughter. ‘Yeah. You’re right. We can’t do that to Ven.’    

He reaches out to her; without thinking she grabs his hand and guides it to her cheek, revelling in the feeling of his calloused palm against her skin.  

‘…love you,’ he murmurs. ‘Should’ve said it before… too scared.’

She swallows hard. ‘Of what?’

‘Hurting you.’

The idea that he would hurt her would’ve been laughable, once. But that was before his hands had choked her neck. She doesn’t mention that, of course.  

‘Why now?’

She knows, though. They’re going into battle in a little over a month. Who knows who will survive?

Terra gives a hoarse laugh that ends in a grimace. ‘Wasn’t sure I’d get another chance.’

She doesn’t know what to say. So she stays silent, long after he slips back into a fitful sleep, his hand held tightly in her own. Truthfully, she doesn’t yet know what she wants. Is she truly ready to enter into a relationship with Terra? Is it something she truly wants? She can’t say right now, but maybe, after all this is over, she’ll have an answer for him.

She only hopes that they’ll both be alive to hear it.  

[summertimeflame]

VanInktober Day 17, Hope

This is my first time posting anything like this, but I love Vanitas and I really, really wanted to be a part of VanInktober! 

I hope that for my first time writing in years, this turned out alright. I’ve seen a lot of darkness for Vanitas, so I decided to write something warm. He might also seem out of character at moments, but I guess this could be considered an Alternate Universe? Hope you like it, @vaninktober

It wasn't uncommon for Vanitas to find himself in these types of situations-confused, lost, and maybe just a little too warm. Even after finally trading in his skin suit for more comfortable attire and tossing his helmet aside, he was still far too hot. He wiped sweat off his brow, honeyed amber eyes taking in the scenery. Warm sand underneath his feet, bright blue sky, and the sound of the Ocean. He took a deep breath, wondering for the millionth time what he was doing here. As Vanitas shielded his eyes from the relentless light of the sun, he was able to see the brilliant blue of the water more clearly. It was then that he was reminded of his purpose here; and a certain memory was brought to the surface.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   

Vanitas had done everything Master Xehanort ordered without fail. He led Ventus away, he aided in corrupting Terra, he had threatened Aqua. He performed his tasks coldly and cruelly, but Vanitas had a secret. A soft ache that arose whenever he laid eyes on his other half. He would play a hand in making Ventus’ life miserable...but then he would feel the pain himself. It was a cruel form of torture...One he couldn’t understand how to stop-save for the plan his Master held.

When he trespassed aboard a ship in the Deep Space, Vanitas stopped merely to check on the progress of events. He did not expect to come across a little blue alien, who came falling out of a vent in the ceiling and landed right on him. Vanitas stumbled before quickly recovering and looking around.

''What....are you?''  The dark-haired boy almost mistook him for one of his Unversed. The little alien looked confused, tilting his head.

''Ven?'' The alien cocked his head the other way. Vanitas tightened his fists, glaring. So, even inter-dimensional beings knew his connection with his annoying counterpart.

''No. I am nothing like Ventus.''

''Smell....same.'' The alien commented. Vanitas could have punched him.

''Well, too bad for you. That loser isn't going to be around much longer. And neither am I.'' He turns. The little blue alien was fast, skittering between his legs and coming to a halt in front of him.

''No hurt Ven!'' It spoke with indignation, snarling.

''If you're going to stand in my way, then you'll pay the price as well.'' Vanitas summoned his keyblade.

''Why...?'' It was a sudden question that threw Vanitas for a loop.

''Why...?'' The angry boy paused for a moment.

''Ven is friend. You friend, too?'' The alien tilted his head.

''No, I'm not someone who can have friends. That's not my purpose. I just want to achieve my destiny and go back where I belong.'' Vanitas shook his head. Those were things Xehanort had beaten into him over and over again...he didn't have time for this. So...why couldn't he turn away?

''Pur...pose?'' The alien looked up at him for a moment. Before Vanitas could say anything, a loud noise resounded from behind them.

''Aha! I've finally found you!'' A much larger alien burst through the door. He was large, with peach and plum coloration. Vanitas was confused, and knew better than to meddle in the affairs of other worlds. It might interfere with the Master's plan. The small alien spit and screeched before taking off into a nearby pipe. The peach colored alien that had just bust in made a desperate grab, but missed.

''Why won't you just hold still??'' He groaned loudly. Vanitas watched with slight amusement, finding himself curious.

''What's so important about that creature, anyway?'' He asked. The alien turned to him, looking rattled.

''Another strange prisoner. Are you here to try and tame him, too? Well, I tell you! He will not listen! He only has one purpose! To destroy! Your attempts at reaching him are useless.'' He laughs loudly.

''...Destroy?'' Vanitas found that incredibly odd. 

''Yes! He is a furry little abomination! You are wasting your time!'' Vanitas' blood ran cold for a moment. Abomination. That word brought back many painful memories. A few Unversed flowed from him, racing away to wreak havoc among the ship.

''You....You are the source of these creatures? Very interesting...'' He scratches his chin thoughtfully. There was silence for a moment, before Vanitas took a deep breath and decided to ask the question that had been bubbling inside of him.

''You say people were trying to tame him....He was...friendly to me. Do you really think their attempts weren't successful....?'' His grip tightened on his key blade.

''I....I do not understand it. He is acting against his programming. He was created with the mind of a machine....his only instinct is to destroy everything he touches. But...I saw him cradling some sort of charm. Perhaps is not impossible....'' The scientist sighed a bit, looking disappointed.

''...I'm also an abomination. Does that mean...I could go against my programming?'' Vanitas stared at his hands, the helmet dissolving. The boy behind the mask looked at the alien Scientist in front of him. He seemed almost desperate.

''If it is possible for Experiment 626 to be gentle towards something and make 'friends'....anything is possible.''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vanitas never forgot that day. Even as he attempted to forge the X-Blade. Halfway through, he gave up and let Ventus take the final blow, destroying the blade and their chance at merging. He didn't know that Xehanort had other plans for him, however. That turned out to be alright, because the old coot never once suspected he would betray him. Even with all of that ability to predict the future-it turns out Xehanort couldn't predict Vanitas going against his design. In the end, the second Keyblade war did not result in Kingdom Hearts...and it did not result in Ventus and Vanitas becoming whole. It was a fact that Vanitas had a hard time dealing with at first. Until he began to realize that as his emotions evolved and changed, so did his Unversed. The things that were once negative began evaporating. The darkness in his fragmented heart had slowly began to ebb. The amber eyed boy had long since learned that he would always be darkness. It would always exist within him more strongly than in others. But he was learning to control it, and learning to weave his thoughts in a different direction-something Xehanort had conveniently never told him.

Just as Vanitas was getting lost to his thoughts, a familiar chiming rang clear through the air. He looks down, touching the star fastened at his waist. Black with red faded tips, his Wayfinder had been a thank you gift from Aqua. She had been reluctant to associate with him at first (understandably so). However, once he had nearly given his life for Ventus during the war, she slowly began to warm up to the idea of not hating him. It was a start, at least. Vanitas could hear Ven's voice reaching to his heart, something they had recently discovered was possible.

Did you find him yet? He sounded excited. What could Vanitas expect from his childlike other half?

No. I've got to be close.

Don't forget to tell him Ven said hi!

Oh, please. If I forgot, you'd scream it into my head until I absolutely had to.

You know me too well. He could practically see Ven's dorky grin. What a loser.

I am you, Blondie. Talk to you in a minute. My wayfinder's onto something.

Alright, alright. Vanitas could hear the pout in Ven's voice. He shook his head softly, watching as the wayfinder glowed a brilliant blue. He followed the charm, letting it lead him like a glowing compass. Farther down the beach he went, until he arrived at a slightly sandy path. It was beaten down, as if vehicles passed through here often. The wayfinder nearly tugged him onward, and Vanitas bit his lip. What if he didn't remember? What if this whole thing had been a wild goose chase? Negative thoughts swallowed him for a moment, and it took all of his strength to keep an Unversed from forming.

The raven-haired boy followed the path diligently, his fragmented heart thumping hard in his chest. Only when he stood before a mint colored home did the wayfinder finally cease its incessant glowing.

Vanitas breathed deeply, gritting his teeth and knocking on the door. He certainly wasn't expecting a young girl to open the door. She had to be about the same age Ventus had been when they were first split apart.

''Hello! I've never seen you around here. You look like a vampire. Are you a vampire? I won't tell.''  The dark-haired girl whispered secretively.

''Ah....'' How should he even respond to that?

''Hey, Uncle Jumba! This guy at the front door looks suspicious! Is he one of your weird space friends?'' The girl shouted suddenly.

''Ah, wait...!'' Vanitas tried to stop her, incredibly confused. A moment later, he was glad he didn't stop her. Almost instantly, he recognized the scientist from Deep Space. What was he doing here in this weird little world?

''Bah, go away! We do not want what you are selling...!'' Jumba shook a fist.

''Wait...Don't you recognize me....? I know it's been years, but...'' Vanitas asked simply, unsure how to do this. Jumba squints, before his eyes widen.

''From the ship! It has been so long! You look...much less evil! Is good look for you!'' Jumba claps, grinning.

''Thank you. Um...I actually....''

''Stop. I know what you are here for.''

''You...do?''

''Yes! You have come to thank me! Well, no need to worry! I was just giving advice.'' Jumba waves his hand dismissively.

''Ah...Actually...I came because I've been looking for that little blue alien...''

''Experiment 626?'' The Scientist looked deflated.

''Yes...'' Vanitas nods, still feeling a little nervous.

''You want to see Stitch?'' The little girl tilts her head in a very familiar manner that makes Vanitas' heart feel fleeting warmth.

''Um...yes?'' He nods. This trip was much more confusing than he thought it would be.

''Follow me. He's probably being a psychopath around here somewhere.'' She leads Vanitas inside. In the living room alone, he could see the experiment's life covering the walls. Photographs of him with this girl were everywhere. Seeing this, he couldn't help but smile.

''Lilo, I think he is in kitchen. Making lunch, perhaps?''

''Oh, good idea!'' She tugs Vanitas to the kitchen by his arm. He takes his time looking around as he follows this weird girl. It was only moments before he came face to face with Experiment 626 once more. Vanitas would never forget the look on the little blue alien's face when he saw him.

''Ven!'' He cries out, leaping from the stool he had been using to gain access to the sink. Vanitas can't help but laugh as he was bombarded with an arm full of alien.

''Not Ven. My name...is Vanitas. Ventus is my...brother.'' Vanitas settles, lifting 626 up to look at him better. They both had changed so much...in appearance and personality. Each one spent minutes studying the other. It was during that time that the dark-haired boy felt something he hadn't in a while. Tears.

''Van-ee-tahs. Vanitas!'' Stitch clapped his claws together gleefully.

''Yes...Yes...and Ven says hello...''

''You didn't hurt Ven?''

''No....turns out that everyone was wrong about me...including myself.'' Vanitas wipes his eyes, setting the little creature down.

''Why you look for Stitch...?''

''I had to thank you....you gave me something when I needed it most....so, I'm giving you something, too.'' He reaches inside the bag he brought with him, pulling out another wayfinder. The points on this star alternated between light blue and dark blue. Stitch lit up, taking the charm and nuzzling it.

''Thank you! Thank you!!'' The little creature jumped up and down with joy.

''Of course...and thank you....''

''What did Stitch give you...?'' The blue alien turned his perceptive eyes to Vanitas. Golden eyes couldn't conceal a few more tears, and the boy whispered one word.

''Hope.''

[khstoryanalysis]

Chapter 7: Seekers of Darkness (Part 5)

NOTE: The following discussions you are about to read are only assumptions and theories. Only take them with a grain of salt for the time being.

Finally, let’s talk about Vanitas, a confirmed Seeker of Darkness. It is confirmed that he has been revived, but how is that possible when Ventus’s heart is still asleep? Perhaps being a pure being of darkness, he can be revived like the same way as Maleficent. With his heart being pure darkness, could Xehanort decide not to possess him as he is already good enough?

Many fans argue that Vanitas has already been possessed prior to the forging of the X-Blade. This is due to his yellow eyes as the Kingdom Hearts Ultimania confirms this. However, fans point out that Skuld and DiZ (or Ansem the Wise) also have yellow eyes despite not being possessed by Xehanort. Skuld is born to have yellow eyes, while Ansem the Wise gains yellow eyes after he gives in to the darkness to escape from the Realm of Darkness. To get revenge of his apprentices who turned against him, he disguised himself as DiZ. He covers himself with bandages, turns his eyes yellow, and darkens his skin. However, he reverses all of the changes in appearance after he decides to reveal himself. Some fans suggest that we will only know whether or not Vanitas is possessed by his hair color. But judging by hair colour is not a suitable method as Xigbar, Saix, Marluxia, Larxene and Luxord are all possessed yet their hair colour does not change.

In the Birth by Sleep novels, prior to Sora’s connection with Ventus, Vanitas has a doll-like face (black face with red eyes), nothing more like an Unversed. After Sora makes a connection with Ventus, Vanitas gains a face similar to Sora through his connection with Ventus. The novels only state that he gains a human face, but never specifies his looks. Moreover, it is constantly pointed out that the novels are not completely canon. We can only hope that his backstory will be revealed in Kingdom Hearts 3.

From what we know from Xehanort’s Reports, Ventus is originally going to be used as a vessel. However, he is too benign for his own good, so Xehanort then uses Ventus to forge the X-Blade. Since Ventus refuses to use the power of darkness, Xehanort has no choice but to extract his darkness out. After sending Ventus to Master Eraqus, he encounters Terra and senses that Terra has a strong darkness inside of him. Xehanort knows that he can make Terra his vessel.

Xehanort’s Report IX shows that his intention in finding a vessel is to ensure that he will be able to stay alive for his plans to come to fruition. He does not have the intention to create 13 Seekers of Darkness yet. It is only until the events closing in to Birth by Sleep that he decides to have a backup plan.

Xehanort admits that he has rushed his attempts on forging the X-Blade using Ventus and Vanitas as guinea pigs. In case that his attempts are unsuccessful, he will have to proceed using the long-term plan: use the 7 lights and 13 darkness. Certain that he can possess Terra’s body to stay young, he will have no problem in spending more time to carry out his plans. He indoctrinates about Kingdom Hearts to Maleficent, and manipulates her to gather the 7 Princesses of Heart. This explains how Maleficent knows about the Keyblade and then takes control of Terra to steal Aurora’s heart. Meanwhile, Xehanort goes to ensure that Terra will become his vessel, leaving Vanitas to deal with Ventus. Upon finding out Braig has a strong darkness as well due to his desire for power, Xehanort manipulates him and turns him into his vessel for the Seekers of Darkness.

Xehanort would not have been foolish enough to insert his heart into Vanitas. If the X-Blade is unsuccessfully forged and then shattered, the hearts of Ventus and Vanitas will shatter as well. If Xehanort’s heart was taking control of Vanitas, his heart would have suffered the same fate, and it could have been dangerous to Master Xehanort himself, even though it was just a connection.

According to the novels, Xehanort forbids Vanitas to harm Ventus as he wants both of them to be alive for his plan. Deciding that Ventus will be better off trained under Master Eraqus due to his strong opposition towards darkness, he separates Ventus from Vanitas. While the light in Ventus’s heart grows due to love and friendship, the darkness in Vanitas’s heart grows due to Xehanort’s abuse and torture. Xehanort will beat up Vanitas with his Keyblade and tell him to hate the world. He does this because he thinks Vanitas’s pain in slaying the Unversed and his loneliness are not enough to darken his heart. Throughout 4 years of abuse, Vanitas eventually loses his sanity and becomes the person we see in Birth by Sleep.

In the game, Vanitas is proud, cunning, cruel and ruthless. He holds everything and everyone in contempt, and has great resentment against Ventus and his friends. Despite being a student to Xehanort, he is not entirely loyal towards him. The novels state that Vanitas never likes Xehanort and does not like to be used as a tool. In the game, Vanitas is willing to destroy Ventus despite knowing clearly that he is going against Xehanort’s orders.

Vanitas has many traits associated with negativity and darkness. Initially, he was a lot like the original Ventus, albeit darker in personality, but 4 years of abuse have darkened his heart further, turning him insane. Xehanort always says that Vanitas is a being of pure darkness – an abomination beyond hope of salvation. He sees Vanitas has a heart of pure darkness, which could hint that Vanitas does not need to be possessed by Xehanort as he is already a good candidate to be a Seeker of Darkness.

Even though Vanitas is pure darkness, the novels state otherwise as nothing in this world can be pure light or pure darkness (if artificially made). As a being of darkness, Vanitas fuels himself with negative emotions to make him stronger. To do that, he will constantly slay Unversed that are physical incarnations of his negative emotions. After they are slain, the negative emotions and pain will return to Vanitas. However, Vanitas also feels immense pain from their deaths, and sometimes the pain gets so unbearable that he will collapse and cry.

Through his connection with Ventus, Vanitas can feel the positive emotions that Ventus experiences such as love and friendship. These positive emotions warm his heart, briefly relieving his loneliness and pain. Once the warmth fades away, he will feel sad and wants more. Vanitas clearly knows how it feels to be surrounded by positive emotions, but he does not know how to reach them and escape from his pain. Taking advantage to Vanitas’s desperation and pain, Xehanort manipulates Vanitas to think that forging the X-Blade would help him gain salvation. With that, Vanitas undergoes training to ensure that he will be strong enough to forge the X-Blade. He also hopes that Ventus will become as strong as him as well, so he can achieve his dreams.

Every time I think about Vanitas’s abusive life, I find it fascinating that he still holds the will to live. Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep: A Fragmentary Passage shows that Aqua is still able to resist the darkness because of her hope in returning to wake Ventus up. This is evident by her words after seeing an illusion of Ventus in the glass coffin.

If hope, a form of light, drives a person to keep on living, what is Vanitas’s hope then? His hope is to be free from pain by forging the X-Blade. You will suggest that Vanitas should run away since he never likes Xehanort from the beginning. However, it will not be wise for Vanitas to run away from his abuser. Xehanort, being a Keyblade Master will be able to track him down. Moreover, nobody will save and protect Vanitas because they will perceive him as a monster due to his ability in creating Unversed. He also cannot go to Ventus because Ventus is under the care of Terra, Aqua and Eraqus, who all oppose the darkness. Ventus probably won’t know about Vanitas and he would probably hate him due to Eraqus’s teachings.

Vanitas can only hope from afar, enduring the pain from his abuser and keeping those times he feels positive emotions from Ventus for warmth, which then drives him to fulfill his purpose: to become the X-Blade. Four years later, Xehanort receives Eraqus’s invitation to be present at the Mark of Mastery. Xehanort thinks that it is time to carry out his plan as he can sabotage the test to lure Terra into the darkness. Thinking that he has bred loyalty on Vanitas through abuse, Xehanort leaves Vanitas to take care of Ventus.

When Vanitas defeats Ventus in their first fight, he realizes that Ventus is not strong enough to forge the X-Blade. Desperate to be free from pain as soon as possible, he attempts to destroy Ventus, but Mickey comes in just in time to save Ventus. After being defeated by them, Vanitas decides to let Ventus live, believing that he can still grow stronger as he travels to other worlds to take down more Unversed. As a backup plan, Vanitas targets Aqua due to her strong light. He challenges her to fight and is defeated twice, which strengthens his belief that Aqua can be a substitute.

Xehanort is not aware of Vanitas’s plan. He assumes that Vanitas will follow his plan accordingly – he only focuses on Ventus for the pure light. He sees Aqua as an obstacle and decides that she must be out of his way to victory. With that, Xehanort orders Vanitas to kill her and then merge with Ventus to forge the X-Blade. Vanitas does knock her unconscious, but he does not intend to kill her. Through close observation, he is actually aiming at her legs, not her chest. Vanitas probably still needs her as a backup and decides that he will just injured her, allowing him to merge with her easier. But since Ventus is able to defeat him at last, Vanitas decides to proceed with the original plan.

What shatters the X-Blade is not because Ventus destroys Vanitas. After all, Ventus only disarms Vanitas, forcing him to drop the X-Blade from his grasp. When Vanitas loses the X-Blade, he frantically tries to retrieve it, seeing that his only hope for salvation is slipping away. Realizing that his efforts are in vain, he gives up and the last bit of hope inside his heart dies. His heart becomes weak due to hopelessness, which destabilizes the X-Blade, shattering it.

In Kingdom Hearts 3, Vanitas has been resurrected by unknown means and is recruited to become a Seeker of Darkness. Vanitas is probably tired of being used again for Xehanort’s plans. He is still hurting as he still creates Unversed, which he sees them as his weakness.

From what we know from the trailers and interviews, each member of the Organization will be present in a world. They are probably sent there by orders. Xigbar is in Olympus Coliseum, telling Sora to follow the breadcrumbs (a series of connected pieces of information or evidence) and what destiny has in stored for him, probably to prompt Sora to save those who are connected to him through Ansem the Wise’s data.

Young Xehanort is in Toy Box, stating that there is a missing darkness that they must reclaim, and to understand how hearts work, he splits the world into two. Since Young Xehanort is associating his experiment with toys, the “missing darkness” could be someone that Xehanort sees it as a toy – perhaps a Nobody, a Replica or anyone gullible. Ansem, Seeker of Darkness and Xemnas are in Twilight Town, attempting to manipulate Sora to call upon the darkness, set his heart free or try any method to bring Roxas back. They know that Sora is determined to bring his Nobody back, hinting Roxas to be a potential vessel.

Larxene is in Arendelle, following Elsa as she believes that she is one of the Seven Pure Lights that the Organization is after. Marluxia may have the same intention as he is in the Kingdom of Corona, where Rapunzel, another Seven Pure Light resides. Luxord is in The Caribbean, looking for a box. Many fans speculate that the Organization is after the Black Box, possibly as a backup plan. In case the Seekers of Darkness do not have enough darkness to forge the X-Blade, the Black Box may contain darkness that could serve as a substitute.

What about Vanitas? He is in Monstropolis and straight up tells Sora that he needs the half of him that sleeps inside of Sora. He is obviously trying to find Ventus and is desperate to reunite with him. He seems to be going off by his own rather for the Organization.

It is true that Xehanort has tried to find Ventus after knowing that he is in the Chamber of Waking. This explains why Xemnas sends the old Organization members to track him down. However, they come out empty-handed. It is unknown whether Xehanort knows that Ventus is currently just an empty vessel for him to complete the 13 Seekers of Darkness. However, now that he already has 12 vessels and seems firm in choosing his target for his last vessel, he may not need Ventus anymore. Besides that, Xehanort is focusing more on the Princesses of Heart rather than the incomplete Guardians of Light. He may only need Ventus’s pure light as a backup.

The biggest question is: if Vanitas was the only Seeker of Darkness that does not carry a piece of Xehanort’s heart, could he end up betraying Xehanort and the Organization? With his character theme being arranged in the Heroes and Heroines: Characters’ Medley, and the story of Monsters, Inc that teaches us that positive emotions are stronger than negative emotions, Vanitas may actually have a redemption arc in Kingdom Hearts 3, prompting him to betray Xehanort and the Organization, in which it would be something that Xehanort would not be able to predict. But what if he was possessed by Xehanort, could he still receive a redemption arc like other characters? Judging from Riku’s case, I think it is possible.

[aliceslantern]

Give/Take, a Kingdom Hearts Fanfic, Epilogue

Ienzo has been too busy since the war to be overwhelmed by the past. But with little progress to be made in his work with Kairi, old nightmares start to invade.

Riku is a glorified housesitter. Lonely and faced with no choice but to wait for a way to find his friends, he eagerly accepts when Ienzo asks him to help do repairs around the castle. Before long, the two strike up an unlikely friendship, united by their dark pasts and their attempts to be better people.

But just as they begin to consider something more... Kairi wakes up.

Ienzoku (Ienzo/Riku), post-Melody of Memory, slow burn. Updates Thursdays until it's done.

Chapter summary:  Ienzo moves on from Radiant Garden.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Still, Ienzo was sad to see Destiny Islands fade from behind them. It was raining here, too, and despite his initial worry about visibility Riku seemed nonplussed. “I’ve flown through worse,” he said. “Try to relax.”

But it was nearly impossible. The thought of going to the basement had his heart beating hard, a slick anxiety chasing away the joy and freedom he’d felt the past month. Ienzo took slow, deep breaths. After so many days in shorts and sandals, his normal clothes felt constricting, and Riku looked odd in his adventure wear.

The flight was both too long and too short. He’d accumulated a small bag of things in his time there--mostly weather-appropriate clothing--but he’d also brought along a few souvenirs that Kairi had helped him pick in an attempt to placate the others of his absence. And some foodstuffs he couldn’t get here. He couldn’t help it.

The day was clear, though cloudy, when they landed, and, Ienzo noted with a strange irony, when he disembarked it felt cold. He scoffed to himself.

Dilan was standing guard at the entrance. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he said dryly. “Wasn’t sure we’d ever see you again. With a bloody tan , too.”

Ienzo rolled his eyes. “Good day, Dilan.”

The castle felt massive and brutal, though Ienzo noted Aeleus had made some more progress with the paint. Though he’d cleaned his bedroom before he left, it smelled a bit dusty. He set down his things.

Procrastinating wasn’t going to help.

Riku squeezed his shoulder. “Ienzo?”

“I’m… I’m alright.” He found himself glad he hadn’t eaten much at breakfast. “Right. If you would just… give me a moment to change.”

“Change?”

“Yes.”

He nodded once. “I’ll be right outside.”

Ienzo took a deep breath. Took two. He went over to his wardrobe, took out the black slacks, the white shirt, the sweater vest. The boots, the ascot. With shaking hands he took his lab coat off of its hanger.

The apprentice garb felt heavy on him, and its fit was different; he must’ve gotten more exercise on the islands than he thought. He looked at himself in the mirror. “Right,” he said softly.

Riku appraised him when he came out. “Ready?”

“...As I’ll ever be.”

The walk down to the lab felt long. He realized he hadn’t even checked to see if Even or Ansem would be down there, but when they got down it was empty, the computer asleep, the room in semidarkness. Ienzo didn’t realize he was almost gasping for air until Riku squeezed his shoulder. “Are you sure about this?”

Wearily, Ienzo nodded. He approached the keypad. He typed in the default password, and the door slid open.

He wasn’t sure what he expected--darkness rolling out, running at him--but nothing happened. “I don’t smell or sense much,” Riku said. He drew his Keyblade. “Stay close, just in case.”

They walked down the long, long ramp to the second lab door. The air smelled musty, stale, but not much worse than that, the lights flickering unevenly down the hall. Ienzo felt shaky, weak, already choked up. At first he wasn’t sure if he were seeing things, shadows flickering. Riku surveyed the space warily.

He took slow, shaky steps. The offices were all the way at the end of the corridor, past all of the cells. Their doors were open, unoccupied, but the whole place was in disarray; mattresses torn to shreds, gouges taken out of the floors and walls, sinks and toilets ripped from their joints. “You kept people here?” Riku asked, in a neutral voice.

“...Yes.” He swallowed. “It takes some a long time to fall to darkness.” He imagined, not for the first time, how his subjects might have felt. Dazed, terrified, in pain. He did remember them screaming out--either in anger, in fear, or in grief. He remembered himself giving them psychological profiles as a child--some had thought he, too, was a victim and tried to save him, only for their horror to grow that much more when they realized he was apart of it.

The pain he’d inflicted echoed heavily around the room as the memories poured in. Xehanort, or Even, or Dilan gently nudging him to do this, that, or another awful thing. Wanting to do it without their prodding as well. Seeing his family members do so in turn.

“How many?” Riku asked.

Ienzo swallowed. “A little over a hundred. But… what we wrought here… spread across the world--the seeker of darkness’s artificial Heartless--”

Riku rested a hand on his back. “You were a child. If you were anything like me… they used you.”

Somehow Ienzo made it to the office. It was a large space, with filing cabinets to one side, a few computers to another, a printer in the far back. Chemistry supplies, glassware, and a fume hood were to the center right of the back wall. Black-topped worktables were also towards the back, a Bunsen burner left out connected to the gas line. In a lot of ways it looked untouched, like it was that hectic and horrifying day they’d been turned. A coffee cup sat on the table in the center of the room, its contents long evaporated. Papers were still spread across the desk, someone’s old, moldering lab coat on the back of a chair.

Ienzo’s knees gave out.

“Ienzo!” Riku cried.

He felt like he couldn’t breathe. It was all so… casual. Mundane.

This had been his normal. School days spent here, torturing other people, other kids, because he thought it was for the greater good. What were a few sacrifices for knowledge? To understand human nature?

He made an odd, guttural noise. “I’m sorry.” He sounded like a wounded animal. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Ienzo?” Riku knelt next to him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Look at me.”

The tile floor was cold and dusty under his hands. He wanted to rip the file cabinets from the walls and destroy everything--

“Look at me.”

Ienzo did so, breathing through his teeth. Despite it all, there was still somehow tenderness in Riku’s eyes.

“Apologizing can’t help them now,” he said. “But what we can do to help is to preserve the memory of who they once were.”

He felt so incredibly heavy. “I killed them.”

“Xehanort and the darkness made you. Weren’t these guys your only family? If you hadn’t listened, what would’ve happened to you?”

“I’d be alone.” His chest hurt. “I’d be an orphan.”

“It was all you knew. What happened to the Zo who forgave himself on the island?”

Ienzo looked down.

“Huh?” he prompted.

“Do you think I deserve forgiveness?”

“Yes. I do. I think you were a victim too. Just like I was one of my Ansem’s.”

Ansem had said the same thing. The pain bled out of him. Riku let him cry, and mourn the person he could’ve been if not for all this. “Alright,” he said at last. “Alright. Alright.”

Riku helped him to his feet and wiped the tear from his face. “Better,” he said gently. “Where are these files?”

“Over… over here.” His knees were still shaky. He pulled open the drawer. “Help me…” He hefted them over to the scanner. “Digitize them. So they never get forgotten.”

“Right. Of course.”

It was a tedious, annoying task, but seeing the images, the people , get uploaded into the system, Ienzo felt something like relief. Once it was all--finally--done, he checked with his phone and the network that the data was safe. “All these years,” he said softly. “We kept the results, the data, but this was all left here to rot.”

“Easier to forget the price that way,” Riku said. “We can do something with this.”

“I’ll talk to the others. See how they feel. But seeing as all this--” He spread his hands, “Is due to my influence… I think I can guilt them all into agreeing.”

“For some reason I don’t think they’ll need much persuading.�� Riku kissed him once, lightly. “Are you ready to leave?”

He looked around the room. He noticed a document on the table with his childhood self’s handwriting. He touched it once, turned it over. “I think so,” he said. “I think so.”

---

“Ansem? Can I speak to you?”

The man looked up from his writing desk, startled to be called his name. “Oh, Ienzo, it’s so good to see you,” he said. “I feel as though it’s been ages. You look so wonderfully well. Did you have a good time?”

“I truly did,” he said. “There was a lot I learned. But I’d…” He exhaled. “I realized something.”

Ansem gestured for him to sit in the opposite chair, so he did.

“I recall you telling me I am one of the victims of what happened here,” he said slowly.

“Yes. I believe that is true.”

“Staying with Riku’s family… seeing what type of life he used to have, what I could’ve had… it… so much of it shifted my perspective.” Ienzo cleared his throat and knotted his hands. “I think I’ve started to forgive myself, but moreover… I… I want to do something to honor those we destroyed.”

Ansem’s face slackened a little.

“Riku helped me digitize the personal files of the victims. I feel like… by accepting responsibility openly… we can give the townspeople closure. Ensure their memories aren’t lost. We can’t bring them back, but using what we’ve learned… we can help the people here move forward. Help heal their hearts.” He spoke quickly, not at all encouraged by his expression. “Please, master. This is because of me. I want to do something--even if it is so simple as a memorial.”

A long pause. Ansem tapped the tips of his fingers together. “That is very wise, Ienzo,” he said at last. “I think it’s a good first move. I think myself, and the others, agree heartily.”

He took a deep breath. “Moreover… I think I would like to leave Radiant Garden.”

Ansem’s eyebrows shot up.

“I know it probably seems selfish--” He couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact. “I have so much to atone for. But being there, in Destiny Islands, I… I just need time, I need time to figure out who I can be, before I’m truly emotionally able to do all the work here that I need to. I’d like to move there and attend university.” He bowed his head and realized he was asking for permission. “I want to heal, and experience normalcy, and in order to do that in any meaningful way I have to leave. The memories are too painful. There’s too much unsaid.”

Ansem smiled kindly. “Ienzo,” he said. “Why are you trying to convince me?”

He looked up.

“I think that would be wonderful for you,” he said. “I always thought you were so young to be weighed down by so much. I’m your father. Of course I’m going to support whatever you think you need.”

“Thank you.”

“I just have to ask…” He chuckled a little. “This isn’t just because of the boy, is it?”

Ienzo blinked. “I do love him, but no,” he said. “I’m not going just to be with him. ...Though that will be a perk.”

“You have no idea how much it soothes me to know you’re beginning to move on,” Ansem said. “For the longest time I felt like I’ve damned you. Whatever I can provide--money, an official letter, name it.”

“I still have to figure it all out. They just barely know of other worlds. How would they deal with an immigrant? I don’t think forged papers would be good enough.”

Ansem sat back. “I seem to recall a good friend of your beloved has sway with the mayor,” he said.

“Kairi,” he said. “I completely forgot.”

“You may want to start there. I’m sure she’d be more than happy to introduce you.”

“...Yes.” Ienzo was dizzy. “Yes. That’s a good place to start.”

---

“You’re what. ” Even’s nostrils flared.

“I’m leaving, Even,” Ienzo said. As much as he’d braced himself for this conversation, he was still not looking forward to Even’s reaction. “I just… I need time. I need space. I need to learn how to be me… and I can’t do that here.”

Even sniffed. “The boy’s been too much influence on you. All of the tenderheartedness, the ideas… Life won’t be easy, Ienzo.”

“But it will be normal,” he said. “I think that’s what I need in order to begin to heal. A… controlled environment. A vacuum.”

This made him soften a little.

“ I need to have control,” he said. “And if I stay here, for now, I’ll only be reminded of when I didn’t have that. It’s not forever. Or maybe it is, that is yet to be determined.”

Even sighed. “I see,” he said. “Ienzo… child… there’s so much I have to do to make up to you, and you’re just leaving ?”

Ienzo smiled. “Then support my decision,” he said. “Moreover, with the phones… it’s not as though I’ll never see you again. And we can still work together, as well. I think… one of the things you can help me do is spearhead the memorial with me.”

Even took a breath.

“I know you want to atone just as much, if not more, than I do. Help me accept their pain, Even, and make sure they don’t get forgotten. And that nothing like this happens again.”

“Yes,” he said softly. “Alright.”

“Thank you.” He turned to leave, but Even spoke.

“It is… easy, to get caught up in the guilt and the grief,” he said, “And let it paralyze one. So often I feel as though I’ll never have enough time to even begin mitigating the damage I’ve done to this world.” His green eyes were sharp, reddened at the edges. “My mistakes were mine more than yours were yours. Yet…”

“In the end you chose to give up everything in order to stop Xehanort,” Ienzo said. “You deserve to be here. You deserve life too, Even.”

He chuckled. “You have gotten soft, child,” he said. He squeezed Ienzo’s shoulder. “It suits you. But don’t let go of all that bitterness just yet. Use it. Build your new life just to spite us all.”

Ienzo nodded. “I likely shall.”

Even sighed. “I will miss you,” he said. “But I understand.”

“And I you, I think,” Ienzo said.

“Though if you’re going there we must come up with a way to protect your complexion,” he said, snapping into brightness, though Ienzo saw his eyes watering. “I’ll get to it at once. We can’t have you end up with… moles, or worse, you’re so fair.”

He chuckled. “Thank you, Even.”

“You’ll… you’ll take care of yourself?”

“I will if you will.”

Even smiled.

“Truly, Even, you lecture me for working too hard, yet I’m not sure you sleep.”

A beat, a moment. “Take care, Ienzo,” Even said. “I do hope this new life treats you well.”

He nodded. He nearly left, but acting on impulse, he hugged Even once, quickly. “I’ll be back to collect that sunscreen, I’m sure,” he said. “I’ll see you before I leave.”

“Yes, yes, leaving me with more work, as always.” A smile.

---

The apartment had come pre-furnished, but was cramped. The sink leaked. Most of the microwave buttons did not work, and the electric stove heated unevenly. If Ienzo was not quick to shower in the morning, the other flats in the building used up all the hot water.

It was run-down, but it was his, and he loved it.

Riku groaned a little when he got up. “Why,” was all he said.

“I have to get to work,” Ienzo said. “I told you last night I’d be getting up early and if you wanted decent sleep to go home. I warned you.”

He sighed heavily. “To be fair, after what we did, I didn’t think I could move.”

He rolled his eyes and went to go shower. He’d made it for the hot water, though under the wire. When he came back out to get dressed Riku had pulled the blanket over himself, like a burrito. “Don’t you have class to get ready for?”

“Yes, and if I don’t go now I’ll be late.” Still, he didn’t move.

“The last thing I want is for you to become a ne’er do well on my watch,” he said. He grabbed his apron from the closet door handle.

“ Fine. ” He got up and started putting on his discarded uniform. “As long as I can be the first customer. You’re not going to make me wait outside until open again, are you?”

“The last time I didn’t my manager was unhappy.”

“You are the worst sometimes.”

Ienzo smirked. “You still keep coming back.”

The left the apartment together, down the rickety narrow staircase. The sun was just starting to rise. The days, lately, seemed long; but they were full, and Ienzo no longer dreaded them. He found the keys in his bag and unlocked the cafe’s door. “See you in half an hour,” he said breezily to Riku, who just rolled his eyes and sat at one of the outdoor tables.

Most days he didn’t mind this work. Opening the cafe meant he got out of work early, leaving the day open for his classes, or seeing people, or simply existing in this strange city. It wasn’t forever--he had reason to believe he’d be offered a student research position at university, and that would cover most of his living expenses. Ansem had given him money, but he didn’t want to touch it unless he had to.

Sometimes admittedly if he was having a frustrating day--if customers were awful to him or the espresso machine was on the fritz yet again --Ienzo felt his genius was being wasted being a barista. But most of the time, he liked the work, baking and making coffee the most. It was objective, harmless. I wanted normal, he’d think.

He counted in the drawers, put the breakfast pastries in their displays. Warmed up the machines and made coffee. He’d been promoted to keyholder when the manager saw how efficiently he was able to work, and that meant opening shifts. Sometimes on breaks he’d sit with a book and watch the people go by.

He hadn’t realized life could be gentle.

He saw Riku making faces at him through the window, and though he knew it was unnecessary, Ienzo waited until it was six on the dot to let him in.

“You’re a horrible boyfriend,” Riku said.

“Sure I am. Your usual?”

“You’re bankrupting me.” He placed a note on the counter. He made Riku’s latte and handed him the usual buttered croissant, and before the morning rush, sat with him to have his own breakfast. “So, later,” Riku said. “Couple of us are getting together at Sora’s. You in?”

Ienzo sighed. “I’d love to, but I have to finish that paper. I’ve procrastinated enough.” He seemed to be angling towards a degree in psychology with a minor in literature. He could use this to help people--he was trying to help Sora, who seemed to at least be more willing to open up. It was a start.

“Come anyway.”

“Then I’d have to stay up all night.”

“...Like you haven’t done that before.”

“Anyway, don’t you have a test to study for?”

“So?”

Ienzo sighed. “I’ll come, but I’ll be late.”

Riku leaned over and kissed him. “I should try to grab the ferry. Looks like you’ve got customers.”

---

There were already a few people over at Sora’s by the time Ienzo had done enough schoolwork to justify going. “Oh, you made it!” Sora said.

“And I brought snacks.”

“Yay, snacks!”

“Easy to please, as always,” Ienzo said, and Sora stuck out his tongue.

All of this wasn’t easy, but it was slowly getting easier. Sometimes Ienzo felt he was living a lie, not disclosing his past to everyone he met. As he made true, real friends here, it became apparent that this would be something he had to figure out how to deal with. Darkness still poked out from time to time.

There was some kind of movie playing on TV; Sephie and Tidus were arguing over what to watch. “But this is the good part!” Sephie said.

“I don’t care, it sucks.”

Someone had put on music, an upbeat pop song. Only Riku and Ienzo were of age to drink, but somehow someone had brought some wine. A normal Friday. His phone chimed with a text; a file from Even. Call me. Ienzo sighed and went onto the balcony. “Do I even want to know what time it is for you?” he asked, as prelude.

“This is what we’ve come up with,” Even said. “Can you let me know what you think? If it passes your muster?”

“Even, you know it’s better if these things are symbolic. It’s more meaningful that way.”

“I know, I know, I know, I’ve heard enough from your father.”

“I do look forward to seeing it,” he said. “The notes from the committee were helpful, at least. I’ll do it tomorrow.”

“Out and about, are you?” Even asked.

“Ah--quite.”

A pause. “You’re eating well, and all that?”

He smiled. “Yes, Even.”

“Because you know I raised you to--”

“I promise I’m getting all my fruits and vegetables.”

“Right. Ah.”

“Go sleep, Even. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“As long as you do.”

He hung up. The moon was full, and it was glinting on the ocean. Ienzo heard the back door slide open. “What are you doing here, all alone?” Riku asked.

“Even called me. He has a new draft of the memorial.”

“Oh,” he said softly.

Ienzo smiled. “It’s alright. I think we’re getting close.”

He offered him a glass of wine, which Ienzo took. “Are you glad you came after all?” he asked him.

“Of course. Why do you ask?”

“I just… I dunno. I want to make sure you’re happy.”

“Well, I am.” He chuckled a little. “As much as I can be. It’s just that… sometimes the darkness still… comes out.” They both nightmared, occasionally. Sometimes Ienzo heard Riku cry out in his sleep for Sora or Kairi.

“It… does.”

“Are you happy?”

“As much as I can be.”

Ienzo nudged him. He rested a hand on Riku’s waist.

“I’m just glad to… have time,” Riku said. “I think I’m understanding that… it’s not all gonna get snatched away.”

“Good. I told you as much, though I know why…” He sighed. “Sometimes I still feel like I’m going to wake up in that… stark white castle. But then I wake up with you.”

Riku kissed him. “I can’t wait to figure it all out together.”

“Yes. Exactly.”

The door opened again; Kairi was smirking. “Alright, lovebirds. Do you want to want to play dominoes or what?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Ienzo said, “I’m going to wipe the floor with you all.”

“Easy there, killer,” Riku said.

And they went inside, to the rest of their lives.