#kevin makes me uncomfortable though and i don’t see any reason to watch it because it’s JUST him is it not?

[catsockpuppet]

fuck there’s another episode of that fuckass show (not spooky month)/neg

[corroded-hellfire]

Reader is Eddie’s first relationship & they have an argument. He thinks they’re gonna break up, but she introduces him to the joys of makeup sex. You. Are. Welcome.

xoxoxoxo, @munson-blurbs 💚

Thank. You. Anything for you, my darlin’ 💜

Warnings: smut, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), oral, f receiving

Words: 2.5k

“Eddie, I swear to God, you need to stop being so dramatic about this! I love your theatrics but now you’re just making shit up in your head!”

“In my head? In my head? Seeing the two of you whispering together in the library was not in my head.”

“For Christ’s sake!” you shout, your hands coming up to rake through your hair. “We had to whisper; it was a fucking library!”

“I don’t like the way he was looking at you,” Eddie says, hands coming to rest on his hips as his jaw clenches. Your groan reverberates within the trailer walls.

“I can’t help the way he looks at me! If he’s even looking at me in some way at all. But I’m not looking at him in any way. We’re partners on a project, that’s it!”

“I don’t want you to be his partner anymore,” Eddie says, shrugging as if this is a reasonable request.

“Eddie, I didn’t pick him as my partner. O’Donnell assigned them. And we’re almost done with our project! I’m not asking to change now.”

“Even if it makes your boyfriend uncomfortable?” Eddie hisses. 

“What, so I’m supposed to get a bad grade just because you’re jealous? Fuck that. I plan on passing O’Donell’s class the first time.” It’s a low blow and you know it. But his jealousy is driving you up the wall and you can’t help but snap. 

“Maybe wear a goddamn shirt that you don’t have to pull up every thirty seconds then. You’re giving everyone at school a fucking show every day.”

“So, I just want everyone in the whole damn school to sleep with me, huh? Is that it?”

“That’s not what I fucking said,” Eddie spits out. 

“Then what are you saying? By saying that I’m cozying up to Kevin? By saying I’m flashing my tits to everyone at school?”

Eddie smacks his hand against the kitchen counter and turns his back to you. 

“Eddie,” you say with a sigh, shaking your head. “I need a break. I need a fucking break.” You grab your boyfriend’s pack of cigarettes from the counter and head towards the front door so you can grab a smoke.

“So, that’s it, huh?” 

The wobble in Eddie’s voice has you stopping in your tracks. When you turn to face him, you see him watching you with a set jaw, angry facade spoiled by the unshed tears building up in his eyes.

“What?” you ask.

“Need a break?” Eddie scoffs and shakes his head. “Fine. Go ahead.” 

“Eddie,” you say with a frown. “I’m going for a smoke break. What’s the big deal? I forgot my own pack, so I grabbed yours. You don’t want me to use ‘em? Fine.” You toss the pack back on the counter and rest your hands on your hips.

“Wait,” Eddie says. His face changes from angry to open and vulnerable. “Y-You’re not…breaking up with me?” The tear that slides down his face has your heart cracking in your chest.

“Baby, what?” you ask, taking a few steps closer to him. “Why would you think I’m breaking up with you?”

“You, um.” Eddie pauses and sniffs. Quickly, he wipes at his eyes. “You said you needed a break.”

“From the fight,” you tell him. “Not from you, Eddie. Sweetheart, I love you. I’m not breaking up with you.”

Eddie nods his head, but you can tell he’s still scared. “Hey…” You step forward and cup his face in your hands. “Eddie, it’s just a fight. They happen, it’s normal. That doesn’t mean we break up over it.”

“I’ve never, um…never,” Eddie trails off before clearing his throat. “This is new to me. My first relationship.”

“I know.” You slip your arms around his lithe waist and rest your head on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about me going anywhere though, baby. S’just a fight.”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says, wrapping his arms around you as well.

“It’s okay, you just misunderstood me,” you say.

“No, I-I meant for what I said before. About what you wear and being partners with Kevin. I was being an asshole.” 

“I should’ve been more considerate of your feelings,” you say, tilting your head to press a kiss to his neck.

“No, I should’ve done that with you.”

“We can both be in the wrong,” you say. 

“I love you,” Eddie says. The words still make you smile, no matter how many times you’ve heard them before.

“I love you, too. And now…” You pick your head up and give your boyfriend a salacious smirk. “I get to introduce you to another part of relationships.”

“What’s that?” Eddie asks, cocking an eyebrow at you.

You slide your hands down to his and tug him as you walk backwards towards his room.

“Make up sex.”

“Oh?” Eddie’s voice takes on a higher pitch as both of his eyebrows jettison into his hair. “Is this different than other sex?”

“Well, when we’re done, you can tell me.” 

You pull your hands out from his, bringing them to the hem of your shirt and whipping it off over your head. Eddie groans and lunges at you, grabbing your hips and tossing you over his shoulder. The only sound is your ferocious giggling as you’re carried over and plopped down on the bed. Instantly, you’re reaching up and pulling Eddie’s mouth down onto yours. He moans as he sinks into the kiss, lowering his body onto yours, pressing you between him and the mattress. Your fingers wind their way into your boyfriend’s curls, scratching at his scalp and gently tugging at the roots. This spurs Eddie on, rolling his hips against yours, the denim of his jeans rubbing the denim of yours. 

“Need you,” Eddie says, voice low and gruff, as he separates his mouth from yours. Fingers digging into your sides, Eddie presses hot kisses against your jaw. The sensation of his heavy body on top of yours and his dizzying kisses down your neck has you arching your back. It makes your bra-clad breasts brush against Eddie’s shirt. 

“Take this off,” you pant, tugging at the worn material of his Dio tee. 

“Yes ma’am,” Eddie whispers against your skin. He pushes himself up, a knee bracketing each side of your thighs. No matter how many times you’ve seen him strip his shirt off, it still gives you butterflies and makes you all giggly. 

“You’re so sexy,” you say as you slide your hands up his bare chest. The smirk that he gazes down at you with makes him even sexier.

Eddie grabs one of your hands and presses a kiss to your palm. “Not as sexy as you, my love.” Reluctantly letting go of you, he slides down your body and pops the buttons on your jeans. The pace at which he drags them down your legs is agonizing. Assisting him by kicking them off, Eddie quickly yanks your panties off and tosses them to fall somewhere behind him. 

“Jesus, I need to taste you, baby.” Eddie pushes your legs apart as he slowly lowers himself down to rest on his elbows. 

“Please do,” you whine, dropping your head back on the pillow. 

Licking his lips and eyes gleaming like he’s looking at a pile of presents on Christmas morning, Eddie leans in and licks a stripe up your folds. A whimper is punched from your chest as Eddie nudges your clit with his nose. 

“Eddie, yes.”

The way you say his name has his painfully hard cock twitching in his pants. Desperate for some friction, Eddie ruts his hips against the mattress as he dives in for another taste of your drenched pussy.

“So fucking wet,” Eddie mumbles. “All for me.”

“All f’you,” you echo, eyes drifting closed. “You make me soaked, Eds.”

“Mm,” Eddie hums against you, sending the vibrations up your core. “Taste so sweet, baby. How’s such a pretty pussy also taste so damn good?”

Eddie knows talking about your pussy only turns you on even further, and he’s determined to get you as wet as he can. The sound of your whimpering has him smirking against your folds. He pushes your legs open even further so he can press his face deeper into your heat. His tongue makes its way from your entrance up to your clit. 

“Fuck,” you whine. 

Encouraged by the sounds of pleasure falling from your lips, Eddie sucks your sensitive nub into his mouth. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see you fisting his cream colored sheets between your delicate fingers. Your thighs tense up beneath his hands and Eddie knows what you’re going to say before you even open your mouth. 

“M’close.”

Humming encouragingly around your clit, your boyfriend slips one hand down between your legs and slides two fingers inside of you. It’s exactly what you need—and he knows this. Back arching off the bed, your thighs close around Eddie’s head as your orgasm washes over you. Your eyes practically roll into the back of your skull as Eddie pumps his fingers in time with his sucking. 

The sound of your heavy breathing fills the room and Eddie pulls his mouth from you as your back falls back down to the sheets. You tilt your head down to watch Eddie push himself up, licking over his lips that are covered in your slick. His chin is soaked as well, and the sight already has the area between your legs throbbing again. 

“How was that, baby?” Eddie asks as he crawls back up your body. 

“Holy shit,” you pant out between breaths. Your mind searches for the words to express how amazing he just made you feel, but you come up empty. A self-satisfied smirk grows on Eddie’s face at your inability to speak.

“Mm, my pretty girl,” Eddie hums, running his nose up to the sensitive spot behind your ear. “Love hearing all those noises you make.”

“Make me feel so good, Eds,” you moan. “Need you in me.”

Eddie places a trail of kisses down your neck as he slips his hand beneath you to pop open your bra. His deft fingers pick the clasp and you’re quick to fling the offending material off the side of the bed. 

“Don’t need to tell me twice,” Eddie growls against your skin. Your hands bump into his as both of you reach down to unbuckle his belt. He huffs a laugh as he rests his forehead against yours, letting you take care of the belt while he pops the button of his jeans. As eager as you are to have him inside of you, Eddie’s quick to shuck off the pants and align his hips with yours. 

Agonizingly slowly, he pushes inside of you, the stretch burning a fire low in your belly. Eddie braces a forearm on either side of your head and dives in to envelop your mouth with his own. The two of you moan and whimper into one another’s mouths as Eddie bottoms out. When he pulls his hips back and slams into you again, your hands come up to grip at his shoulders. Your fingers dig so hard into his pale skin that you’re sure he’s going to have ten small bruises there tomorrow. 

“God, I’ll never get over how tight you are,” Eddie mumbles against your mouth. He’s starting to understand what you meant about makeup sex. The adrenaline is still pumping through his body from being angry. The love he feels for you is overwhelming, glad the two of you have made up. But there’s still that touch of possessiveness from his earlier jealousy that has him pounding into you hard enough that you’ll remember who you belong to. 

“Oh! Fuck! Right there, Eddie.”

The way you say his name is music to his ears and he wants to make you scream it over and over again. He picks up the pace of his hips, hitting that special spot inside of you with each thrust. 

“Come on, baby,” Eddie taunts. “I want the whole damn trailer park to know who’s making you feel this good.”

“You, Eddie. Fuck, you.”

“That’s right,” he groans. 

“Baby,” you whine, “wanna be on top. Wanna ride you.”

“Whatever you want, angel.”

Eddie pulls out of you and flops down next to you on his back. Neither of you wanting to be separated for too long, you hurry to climb on top of him and lower yourself onto his cock. When you’re fully seated on him, you start to rock your hips back and forth. The new angle lets you feel him in a new way and the friction of the coarse curls at his base against your clit makes you dizzy with pleasure. 

Watching you ride him, your hips moving back and forth, your tits bouncing with the motion, has Eddie biting his lip to keep his impending release back. He doesn’t want this to end yet; but you feel so damn good. 

“Shit, baby, please tell me you’re close,” Eddie pleads.

“Uh huh,” you hum, nodding your head. “S-So close.”

“Fuck,” he grumbles.

You rest your hands on Eddie’s chest as you move your hips against his. With each rock you feel yourself coming closer to tipping over the edge. Little whines and whimpers start to spill from your mouth, and it has Eddie gripping your hips as if his hands were a vice. 

“E-Eddie… Gonna cum.”

“Let go for me, baby girl. Cream my cock,” Eddie goads through clenched teeth. His hands begin to help move your hips and the added pressure of your clit dragging against his body is all you need. 

“Shit,” you cry, throwing your head back as your second orgasm of the night strikes. Your walls clench around Eddie, which is all it takes to have him spilling inside of you.

“Jesus Christ, yes,” he groans, hips bucking wildly up into you. Stars dance in his vision as he empties himself in your pussy. Your bodies rock together, riding out your highs.

“Holy fuck,” you sigh out, flopping forward onto Eddie’s chest. Both of your sweat melds together as he wraps his arms around you and presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“Exactly what I was thinking,” Eddie rasps, trying to catch his breath.

You tilt your head so you’re looking up at your boyfriend. He meets your eyes and it’s impossible for you not to give him a goofy grin. It’s just the effect Eddie has on you.

“So, what do you think of makeup sex?” you ask.

Eddie sighs and rubs a hand up and down your back. “I’m torn. I hate fighting with you…but shit that was hot.” 

Giggles bubble out of you, and you bury your face into his sticky chest. 

“I love you,” you tell him.

“I love you, too.” He tilts your chin up so he can press a soft kiss against your lips.

“I promise the next time I piss you off—because it’s impossible that there won’t be a next time—I’ll make sure the sex is worth it.”

“You say that like all sex with you isn’t worth it,” Eddie says with a scoff.

“Mm, fine,” you say, pushing yourself up off his chest. “Guess I’ll just have to buy some lingerie or something then.”

Eddie’s eyes widen and it takes all your strength to hold in your laughter.

“Okay, now baby, I’m not saying I want you to piss me off… Hey! What’d you bite me for?”

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 19: Coyote Ugly

I did a lot of sleeping today, which I suppose is something I needed. I fell asleep on my couch last night, so that’s like not great is what I’m saying. But I think this was good for me and I hope to feel better tomorrow.

After dinner, I watched Coyote Ugly, which I had never seen before although perhaps I would have been better off seeing it when I was 11, when it first came out. I think it’s the sort of thing that needs to imprint on you early and then its extremely timely look and sound will make you feel nostalgic forever. Not that it takes much to make me nostalgic for the late 90s. That was about half the reason I watched it: I wanted some lighthearted stuff from that era. The other half was that I wanted to see hot women dance on a bar.

Overall, I liked it. It was fine. I think it had too much romance and general drama centered around Violet and too little hot women dancing on the bar. That’s actually a semi-serious critique. Like, Violet’s underdog chasing a creative dream story is fine, very standard, very common in that era of teen/young-adult-centered film, but it’s also just not that complex. I wanted to pretend to be at the bar, I wanted to see more of the other coyotes, I wanted the whole found-family feel around the bar itself. Truly. Those were the best parts. Although it was very obvious that the dancers and the actors were not the same people and the frenetic cutting to separate face shots from body and feet shots was a little dizzying. I liked Lil a lot and I wanted her to be my scary/hot boss/older-sister-figure. And I want to hear more about Tyra Banks in law school.

Also I don’t think she got enough credit for running a successful business as a woman, and for all of the work she and the other women did in like… fighting back men who are always on the edge of assaulting them. Like….girl, you couldn’t make this in 2024, there would be #discourse. Instead, we have the two biggest male roles judging Violet for her job—a job she’s good at, where she’s kept safe by the power of her female boss, and where she pretty obviously isn’t doing anything with which she’s uncomfortable. And neither of them really apologizes for it? Like maybe there is sort of a critique to be had of her choosing the bar over her chance to play live and further the career she actually wants. But she’s fired the same night so there really isn’t any resolution to that idea, any chance for her to actually choose priorities. I suppose it comes belatedly in her choice not to return to the bar—but that’s an easier thing to do than to quit, or to scale back, or to recalibrate her priorities on her own. Neither she nor Kevin really apologizes or resolves anything. Both Kevin and Violet’s dad are at the bar at the end, so I guess they basically got over it. But that works with the dad more in my opinion, because he really got into it, he saw just how ultimately it was harmless fun, and that was rather heartwarming. Kevin just kind of… sails along as “the boyfriend” and tbh I feel like he’d pulled out the sexist critiques in a moment if given the least provocation.

I think the implication was that he was an undocumented immigrant and I was sort of curious why they walked right up to that but never actually said it. I don’t know. Even though the romance was probably fully 40% of the film, it still felt very obligatory and paint by numbers to me. The men in these films are never worth shit.

But I did get my 90s aesthetic for sure. Random actors I fully did not expect to see showing up (Melanie Lynskey’s Jersey accent… I’m glad she chose a different American voice for Yellowjackets because can you imagine). The fashion. The color scheme. The music. The music! That list of bands appearing at the Bowery alone SENT me. Vertical Horizon. Edwin McCain. Suicide Machines. I need my 90s playlist immediately.

[favefandomimagines]

Why? (t.h.)

Summary: you and tom broke up at the young age of 21, after the success of Captain America: Civil War. now 3 years later, you run into him again with your three year old son

AN: more angst than fluff that’s for sure and here’s a twist: Evans!Reader (i’m also really bad a writing how toddlers sound so use your imagination)

When you imagined having a baby, you thought of the basic evolution of adulthood. Meet, marriage, then kids. Not meet, date for a year and a half, then baby. A baby who you were currently raising on your own. 

The breakup between you and Tom was the opposite of mutual. You didn’t want it. You wanted to be with him even before you got pregnant. But he wanted other things. 

He wanted other people. And that’s the part that broke your heart. 

“I don’t understand. You have never mentioned this before.” You said to him. “Y/N, it’s not you, okay? It’s just, we’re young. We’re 21 years old, our careers are just taking off. Don’t you want to be free?” Tom explained. 

“Free? You think I’m tying you down?” You questioned. “That’s not what I said.” Tom rebutted. “That’s exactly what you said! You think being in a relationship with me is tying you down. Well, fine Tom. If this is what you want, this is what you’ll get.” You snapped. 

You began to pack up everything you could fit in your small, weekender bag. “I’m going home and I never want to speak to you again.” You sneered. “No, Y/N, don’t do this. We can still be friends.” He told you. “No we can’t. Because I can’t be the friend who’s hopelessly in love with a guy who doesn’t love her back.” You said. 

“I do love you-” He started before you cut him off. “Don’t lie to make yourself feel better.” You sneered. You walked to the door of the hotel you were staying in and slammed it shut. 

You were a mess after the breakup. Physically ill is how you described it to people. You never left your room most days and when you did, you glued yourself to the couch. You lived off of Ben and Jerry’s and The Notebook.

Your friends tried to get you out of your apartment. But you didn’t feel like going out and facing the paparazzi. Especially when every time you stood up, you felt sick to your stomach. 

Even your older brother stayed with you most days. He didn’t want you to be alone. 

That’s when your friend suggested something. “When did you get your period?” She asked you. When she asked, you couldn’t remember when. You chalked it being late up to the stress you were feeling because of Tom and being cast in a new TV show. 

But, your friend bought you the test anyways. And it was positive. Your world was crumbling around you and now you had to fend for a baby. Tom told you he wasn’t going to leave you so you didn’t use a condom. And you couldn’t be on birth control because of underlying health issues you had. 

You were pregnant and you were going to have to raise a child by yourself. But your family was there through it all. Chris came to every doctor’s appointment with you, already earning the title of ‘world’s best uncle.’ 

You were about four months along when Kevin Feige called you about shooting an end credit scene for Spider-Man: Homecoming. How were you going to hide a baby bump from the cast and crew? But the only person you needed to keep it from was Tom. He didn’t want you so why should he be apart of the baby’s life? You would ask yourself that simply out of anger. There was no logical reasoning behind it. 

You shot the scene while pregnant and quickly left Atlanta before anyone began asking any questions. The main one being: who’s the dad? 

The night you gave birth, your entire family was at your side. Throughout the entire 20 hour labor before you welcomed a baby boy into the world. Theodore Evans-Holland was the newest member of the family. But Holland was only on the birth certificate. 

__

Three years had passed since you gave birth to Theo and when they said being a working mother was hard, they weren’t lying. Word spread that you got pregnant but the identity of the father unknown by the public. Including Tom. When asked about Theo in interviews you say it was a one night stand with a friend and that you weren’t together romantically. No one questioned a thing. 

On the set of Infinity War and Endgame, your mom brought Theo to visit often. He got to see his mom and his uncle Chris be superheroes.

“And cut! Let’s take a quick break! Y/N needs to go be a mom.” Anthony Russo joked. You smiled brightly at the three year old who was sitting on your makeup artist’s lap. 

You picked him and placed sloppy kisses all over his face, making the little boy laugh. “Are you having fun?” You asked him. “Yes!” He replied loudly. “Uncle Chwis!” Theo yelled, pointing to his uncle across the set. You couldn’t say no to him so you brought him to his uncle who was talking to Chris and Robert. 

Tom watched as you brought your child over to the three men. He didn’t know you moved on so quick. But he didn’t have a right to be mad. He broke up with you, not the other way around. Though a part of him couldn’t help but wish it was his son. 

You and Theo had decided to have a fun day since it was relatively nice in LA. You took him to the zoo and the aquarium before stopping at the Starbucks close to your house as a nice treat. 

Theo was a big fan of their frappucinos. 

You were holding him as he was beginning to get a little bit fussy after such a long day. 

“Y/N?” You heard from behind you. You turned around and saw Tom in the line behind you waiting for his name to be called. “Oh, uh, hi Tom.” You greeted him. “How are you?” He asked. “I’m fine. Just waiting on our order.” You answered. 

“Mommy, that’s spider-man.” Theo whispered to you. “Yes, baby, that is spider-man.” You spoke to him. “Hey little man.” Tom greeted the young boy. “You two have the cutest son. He looks just like his dad.” An older lady commented on the two of you. 

“No, he’s uh, not mine.” Tom quickly corrected her. The lady looked from you back to Tom before giving a pretty fake smile. “We, uh, we have to go. Theo needs a nap.” You said quickly, grabbing your drinks and making your way towards the exit. 

“Y/N, wait!” Tom called. You stopped a turned around to look at him. You and Tom looked at one another for a few moments before he looked at Theo. You could see he was doing the math in his head and analyzing Theo’s facial features. 

It was true though. He did look just like his dad. Same hair, same eyes, he had your nose though. 

“See you around, Tom.” You said breaking the silence before walking back towards your car. 

__

Later that evening, you were sitting on the couch with Theo watching Captain America. It was his favorite movie at the moment because he got to watch uncle Chris be a superhero. 

You were alerted by the sound of the doorbell and wondered who would be at your door at such an odd hour. “Stay here, buddy.” You told your son as you got up to answer the door. 

And when you did, you were very tempted to close it right in his face. Because Tom was standing on your doorstep looking completely distraught. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked. “He’s mine, isn’t he? Theo’s my son.” He said. You were quiet for a moment before you stepped out on to the porch so Theo wouldn’t hear. 

“Yes. Theo is your’s.” You answered quietly. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” Tom asked, the anger in his voice very evident. “Because, Tom, you didn’t want me anymore! A kid wasn’t going to change that! It would tie you down even more than I did.” You replied. “I had a right to know. I’m his father.” He said. 

You ran a hand through her hair as you squeezed your eyes shut trying to make the tears go away. 

“You didn’t want me, Tom. You didn’t want to be with me and a kid wasn’t going to magically fix that. Who’s to say you were going to want to be apart of his life if I told you? Like you said that night, we were 21, our careers taking off. I gave you the freedom you asked for.” You spoke. 

“I messed up, okay? I knew that the second I woke up the next morning and you weren’t there next to me. It was stupid of me to even think that. We could’ve been regular 21 year-olds together.” Tom said. “But at the time, you meant it.” You said. 

The silence that fell upon the two of you was awkward and uncomfortable. The only sound coming from the TV inside seeping through the cracked front door. 

“I need to know him. I know I hurt you and it was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. But I need to know my son, Y/N.” Tom begged. 

You looked at the man in front of you and didn’t see who you were in a relationship with three years ago. Maybe because he’s had to grow up faster than the usual person. Or maybe because you had to grow up faster and raise a child. 

“You can meet him. But we need to take this very slow. Theo is my entire world and I will not have him end up heartbroken like I was.” You finally spoke. 

Tom’s eyes lit up at your words and he rapidly nodded his head. You slowly let him into the house, Theo entirely unaware that anything was happening. 

“Hey, bud. There’s someone I want you to meet.” You said to the small boy. You sat down next to him, him taking the liberty of crawling onto your lap. 

He stared at Tom warily, wondering why a stranger was in his house. He knew. that he was spider-man but to him spider-man was a stranger. 

“Theo, you know how I told you that daddy was an astronaut exploring space?” You questioned. Theo nodded his head looking up at you. “Well, he’s back from space now. Theo, I want you to meet your dad.” You told him. 

The brunette boy looked from you up to Tom. “My daddy’s spider-man?” Theo questioned. “Yes, your daddy is spider-man.” You confirmed. “That’s why he was in outer space! Helping Iron Man!” Theo shouted. “That’s right bud. I was gone for a while, but I’m here now.” Tom finally spoke. 

Theo left your lap and launched himself at Tom. You didn’t know you would feel so emotional when Theo finally met Tom as his father. You just thought it wouldn’t be until he was older so you weren’t prepared for it. 

“Are you staying, daddy?” Theo asked the man. Tom felt like all of the oxygen was knocked out of his body when Theo called him that. 

He looked over at you and you reluctantly nodded your head. “Yeah, buddy. I’m staying.” He answered. Theo jumped up and down on the couch before you scolded him. 

“Hey, hey, we don’t jump on couches anymore, remember? Besides, it’s past your bedtime.” You told him. “I wanna show daddy my room.” Theo. “He can put you to bed. Now go get your PJs.” You said. 

Theo got off the couch and ran down the hallway towards his room. “He’s going to want to show you all of his Marvel stuff but only for five minutes. After that, tuck him in with his Black Panther stuffie. Then you have to read him a story or he’ll never fall asleep.” You explained to Tom as you stood up. 

“You did a really good job with him.” Tom commented. “I know.” You smiled fondly. “I don’t have to stay if you don’t want me too.” He said. “You’ll sleep in the spare room. He wants you in his life so you have to be here. And tomorrow, we’ll go get Tessa.” You told him. 

Tom smiled at you as you retreated to the kitchen to pick up a bit before bed. Tom walked down the hallway towards Theo’s room and found him all tucked in bed with various pieces fo Marvel collectibles. 

“Daddy, daddy! Come look at the things mommy and Uncle Chwis got for me!” He said to Tom. Tom happily obliged and sat on the edge of the bed as Theo began to explain what everything was. 

You leaned against the doorframe and observed the two together for a short while. You had a lot of healing to do with Tom but you couldn’t deny the fact that Theo needed his dad, despite Tom’s past mistakes. 

[cowboy-eddie]

May’s Tattoo

When May decides she wants to get a tattoo, and Athena isn’t exactly with the idea, she turns to two of the most tattooed people she knows; Buck and Eddie.

You can also read this on my AO3! hit up CallMeG :)

“Mom, I want to get a tattoo.”

Athena paused for a second, before turning to her daughter.

“What brought that on?”

“I want to express myself. I want to have something that defines me right now, even if it won’t later because it’s relevant now and it’s something I want to do while I’m young.”

Athena hummed, patting Bobby on the shoulder for backup and he cleared his throat.

“I’m sure Buck or Eddie would have a couple of recommendations.”

“Bobby, Buck and Eddie both got their tattoos elsewhere in the country.”

“Not true; Buck has one on his ribs he got in LA and Eddie got one before he came back to work on his arm.”

May crossed her arms.

“Is Eddie gonna give me that dad speech he has warmed up at all times?”

“Probably.”

Athena glared at Bobby, jabbing her elbow into his ribs to get him to shut up. Of all the people, she thought he’d be the one against it.

“Fine. I’ll ask Buck.”

May reached into her pocket and tapped away on her phone. A second later she had an answer and picked up her keys.

“I’m going to see Buck; I’ll be back later.”

“Okay honey, drive safe,” Athena called after her. She turned to Bobby, hands on her hips, and Bobby’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“I was asking for help to convince her not to, Bobby.”

“She had a really good argument! Besides, I’m her stepfather. At least with Buck and Eddie she has good support.”

may’s tattoo

Buck opened the door and smiled at May, giving her a quick hug before inviting her inside.

“Eddie is here too; he’s in the living room.”

“Is Christopher here?” May asked, poking her head in and Buck shook his head.

“Abuela and Pepa practically begged to take him off Eddie’s hands for the night.”

“So just two bros, chilling on a couch, five feet apart...”

“Don’t say it,” Buck huffed and May laughed as she tossed her purse and mask on to the counter before taking off her shoes and leaving them on the shoe rack.

“Hey, Buck, can you grab me a beer?” Eddie called from the living area and Buck grabbed it from the fridge, popping the top off before leading May over to the couch.

“Eds, May is here. She wants to ask us something.”

“What’s up?”

Eddie sat up, feet on the floor instead of the couch and suddenly May got the idea they’d been snuggling before she knocked.

“Am I interrupting date night?”

“No!”

“What are those anymore?”

May glanced between Eddie and her pseudo-brother, before she laughed.

“I definitely did. Uh, I wanted to ask you guys about your tattoos. I was thinking of getting one, and Bobby directed me to you two.”

“That’s so not a good idea,” Eddie snorted into his beer and Buck shoved his elbow into his boyfriend’s ribs before turning back to May.

“What are we talking? First experiences? I got my first one when I was eighteen, and I probably wouldn’t recommend getting one in a dodgy parlour out the back of a gas station.”

“Is that even legal?” May asked and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Probably not. Uh, my first one... I got it right before I went to Afghanistan. It meant a lot to me.”

“Find a way. Hm.”

“My parents aren’t like yours, May. They wanted to coddle me for all the wrong reasons, and I had to get out of there. Christopher was more their son than I was.”

Buck squeezed Eddie’s shoulder, shrugging.

“Mine are all just a reminder of my life experiences and everything I’ve done.”

Next thing May knew, Buck had pulled up his shirt to show off his most recent ones.

“The uh- the human head, and the brain- it kinda symbolises how brilliant the human mind is when we remember to use it, and sometimes I need the reminder to use it.”

May burst out laughing and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“That’s an understatement. The one on my other arm... not the quote...”

“The map and compass?” May asked and he nodded, pulling up the hoodie May only just realised was Buck’s to show his forearm. It was clearly scarred, from shit she had no reason to ask about, but the detail in the image was beautiful.

“Oh my god- Eddie, it’s... it’s gorgeous. That would have taken ages!”

“Thanks, and it did. Something about guiding me in the right direction. North always leads to home.”

“I thought North always led to water?” Buck asked, brows furrowed. May shushed him, suddenly interested in the designs on Eddie’s arm.

“Did it hurt?”

“Nah-“

“-he has no sense of pain, May, don’t listen to him,” Buck said and Eddie glared.

“Neither do you, asshole.”

“Okay, if you want to get into this-“

“-guys! Can you at least wait until I’m out the door before you start making out?”

Buck pulled Eddie’s hoodie sleeves down and Eddie swatted at the back of his head.

“Do you know what you want?” Buck asked and May shrugged.

“I’m not sure yet, but I have some ideas.”

may’s tattoo

A few weeks later, Bobby appeared in the doorway to his office and called for Buck and Eddie. They headed into the office and Bobby closed the door, hands on his hips.

“So you convinced May getting a tattoo was a good idea.”

“Uh, no, we didn’t,” Eddie said, eyebrows furrowed but Buck shrugged.

“We didn’t exactly discourage it.”

“Buck!” Eddie huffed, shoving an elbow into his boyfriend’s ribs while Bobby just sighed.

“You two had one job. One.”

“I thought it was saving people,” Buck deadpanned. This time Bobby was the one who smacked him upside the head.

“Athena is not keen for May to get a tattoo!”

“Oh,” Buck and Eddie said simultaneously. Bobby nodded.

“Oh indeed. So, here’s what’s going to happen. I don’t want you to scare her out of it, but I do want you guys to be honest the next time she asks questions- maybe don’t tell her about the weed, Buck?”

Buck promptly shut his mouth and winced. He didn’t think Bobby knew about that part of Buck 0.5.

“You got it Cap,” Eddie agreed, hooking a finger through the belt loop at the back of Buck’s pants.

may’s tattoo

“May, come through. Do you have someone with you- Buck! Are you here with this young lady?”

“Yeah, May is my captain’s stepdaughter. Eddie might swing by later though.”

Following the tattoo artist through to a private room, the tattoo artist flicked the curtain closed and shook Buck’s hand.

“Good to see you man. Okay May, what are we doing today?”

“I want a line of power poles.”

“Wow, nice choice. Okay, sit down and let’s do a little prep work before I start drawing.”

May took a seat on the chair while Buck stood toward the back of the room, watching May’s eyes dart around the room.

“Hey. It’s okay if you’re not ready,” he said gently, “we can rebook for later.”

“No! I’m doing this.”

The tattoo artist took a seat on one of the stools, reaching for a sketchpad and transfer paper.

“So, power poles. Where are you thinking of putting them?”

“On my side.”

May lifted her tank top to expose her ribs, gesturing to the area. The tattoo artist frowned.

“That is one of the more painful places to get your first tattoo. I’m happy to do it, I just wanted you to be aware it’s not going to be comfortable.”

“He’s right,” Buck said. May smacked him on the arm.

“I’m doing this. Shut up.”

Buck promptly shut his mouth and the tattoo artist did some sketching on his paper before reaching for a marker.

“I’m going to mark it out on your skin with this, and then you can tell me what you think. How does that sound?”

“Good.”

may’s tattoo

“Hey, my boyfriend and his stepsister are here. May and Evan?”

“Oh, yeah, come through. Do they know you’re coming?”

“Yeah, he just asked me to bring coffee for him and something for May to sip on.”

The receptionist at the tattoo store led Eddie through the back rooms before knocking on a door.

“Hey, Kevin, Evan’s boyfriend is here. Can he come in?”

There was confirmation from the other side and the receptionist gestured for Eddie to go inside.

“Knock yourself out, I guess.”

Eddie opened the door and Buck glanced up at him with a smile.

“Hi sweetheart- oh thank god.”

“Caramel frappe, with a drizzle of chocolate sauce in the frappe as well as one on top. That was one of your tamer coffee orders, baby.”

“You’re a saint. Kevin, you remember Eddie?”

“Hey man, how’s that tattoo going?”

Kevin was working along May’s ribs. May had a death grip on Buck’s hand and she kept trying to focus on her phone but Eddie could see she was in pain. Clearing his throat, he raised an eyebrow at her.

“Need another hand to break?”

“Shut up.”

Eddie put the coffee tray on the table, Buck giving him a kiss. Eddie settled on Buck’s knee, giving May’s wrist a squeeze.

“You doing okay?”

“It doesn’t sting or anything, it’s just… uncomfortable.”

“That’s good. We booked Kevin because he knows exactly how to do this without hurting you too badly.”

Buck took a sip of his frappe, sighing in relief.

“Now that is good.”

“When can we get you back in the chair, Eddie? Any plans?” Kevin asked, focus on the lines he was tracing.

“Uh, maybe. I have some ideas. My son just turned ten, so I was thinking about something for him but I’m not sure yet.”

may’s tattoo

Helping May off the chair, Buck pulled the mirror around and she beamed at the brand new tattoo on her side, about to be wrapped. Eddie smiled as May turned to hug Buck before she paused.

“Okay. No hugs for a little while. Wrap me, Kevin.”

Kevin wrapped the tattoo and put a non-stick dressing on top, finishing up. He passed May the gel for aftercare, smiling at Buck and Eddie.

“I’m sure these two can tell you how to use this stuff.”

“It’s pretty straightforward, right?” May said.

“Relatively,” Buck agreed. Leaning into Buck’s side, Eddie pressed a kiss to his temple.

“Bobby’s gonna kill us.”

“We can avoid him. Surely.”

“How long have you known Bobby, again?”

may’s tattoo

First thing Monday morning, Bobby leaned over the balcony and yelled for Buck and Eddie as they came in. Exchanging glances, they put their duffel bags in their locker and headed upstairs. Bobby was sitting at the dining table, hands together.

“So, May came home Saturday afternoon with a brand new tattoo. You two wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would you?”

“Uh-“

“-we did our research beforehand. Eddie and I both went to the same tattoo artist last time and I’ve worked with him before. I had a chat with him before May went in and we were both there the whole time.”

Bobby was quiet for a moment as he took in Buck’s confession. Shrugging, he got up.

“Sounds like May’s old enough to make her own decisions. Athena wants her safe, and I trust you two to make sure she is. Thank you for helping her make her own decisions.”

[aliwritesss]

~ Nothin’ like us

Pairings: Hyunjae x reader

Genre: idol au, angst, happy ending

———————————

You didn’t expect it. Not in the slightest.

No one from your group prepared anything and now you have to pull up something or you’ll be embarrassed on national TV. You can feel the stares and uncomfortable shifts from your members, no one thought they’d ask so suddenly to sing, since it was supposed to be a interview. Answer some questions, joke around for a bit and you’ll be able to go home.

- These days your group is quite famous for doing covers! One even went viral a few days ago... When I saw it I got so emotional, it was really touching -. Oh god, I can’t do this you think. You feel the hand of one of the girls touch you slightly, telling they’re here. If they’re talking about the one you did on vlive, it’s not going to end well. You were live just chilling with your fans and suddenly that song popped up, making everyone ask you to sing a bit.

- So I hope I’m not asking too much, but (Y/N) would you sing a bit for us? - You can feel sweat dripping from your back. That song meant the world to you, and you were not ready to sing it live with so many people staring at you. One thing is doing it in a live in your practice room where you are with your fans, being safe from tricky questions but this was different.

- I know you didn’t prepare it but I really hope it’s okay -. Says the MC looking at you with puppy eyes and you see how Sonbok, the leader of your group, is going to kindly decline the offer but that’ll be worse, it’ll look unprofessional and will make the atmosphere tense.

- Yeah, okay -. You say before she can say anything and you feel her looking worriedly at you. They know you weren’t ready to do it, they might ask questions after and will make the situation worse.

- Great! We even prepared a piano, we knew you wouldn’t let us down -. Says the MC happily and you see the staff taking out a small electric piano. You let nervous sigh and and go to take a seat.

- So... The song is Nothin like us... I hope you like it -. You say trembling. The song that makes your heart break for Hyunjae, your ex-boyfriend.

(...Lately I've been thinking, thinking 'bout what we had.

I know it was hard, it was all that we knew, yeah...)

You start singing with a trembling voice. All the memories suddenly come to you, hitting you like a car. It’s been almost a month since you broke up with Hyunjae and you didn’t move on, the pain felt the same way as it did the first day, unbearable.

You two met two years ago in a music show and since that day you’ve been in love with him. The way he’s shy at first, looking at everyone so serious and only standing there, it made you curious. “Why doesn’t he say anything? Maybe he doesn’t like me?” Boy, were you wrong... Once you started to get comfortable with each other, it was chaos.

He made you laugh, could make you shiver like no one did before, knew how you were feeling by just looking at you. He even was there when no one was. Didn’t leave your side even in the darkest times.

But it’s all gone now.

(...Have you been drinking to take all the pain away?

I wish that I could give you what you deserve…)

That’s what you wanted to say to him. Are you doing okay? You deserve the whole world and I’m sorry I can't give it to you.

Kevin and Changmin told you that he was miserable, he wouldn’t eat for days and couldn’t focus properly when they practiced. They begged you to talk to him, to tell him that it's gonna be okay, that you were there for him but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. No when you knew he deserved better. Someone who could be there for him.

Even though the breakup was mutual because of your schedules, you both knew you didn’t want to do it. And that’s the worst part, when you can’t be with the person you love.

(...Cause nothing can ever, ever replace you

Nothing can make me feel like you do…)

You feel your voice starting to break, but you keep going. The day after you broke up, the first thought that came to your mind was “ I can’t do this, I can’t do this without him.”

You remembered the first night you spent together, both of you just finished your promotions for your comeback and were tired as hell. But one day you received a message from him telling you “ Pack some things, we’re going on a trip. Picking you up in 20.” Till this day, that is your best weekend ever.

You went to the outskirts of Seoul, nothing too fancy. Only a little house in the middle of a forest to have some privacy, and since it was the end of September it wasn’t too hot or cold.

He was so excited to be there with you and kept saying the whole ride how he was going to prepare some fancy dinner, but that ended up with the two of you making a mess in the kitchen and eating ramen on the floor.

You still have this pic of him, having flour all over his face, trying to kiss you with the biggest smile.

(...You know there's no one, I can relate to

And know we won't find a love that's so true…)

You start to feel tears in the corner of your eyes but at this point you don’t care anymore.

“ I just want to tell you before I go that you made me so happy, and I’m thankful to have met you. You’ll always be my first love and I hope I can find you in another life, one that we can be together forever” That’s what he said the day you both broke up. You were so angry with the universe, Why did you have to meet the love of your life only to not be together?

The hardships, the rumors, the stress, the fans, the pressure… No one could relate like him. No one understood you like him.

And you knew you needed him to keep your sanity.

(...I gave you everything, baby, everything I had to give

Girl, why would you push me away? yeah….)

You both gave everything in this relationship.

He was your first time and you were his, in every aspect. He was so caring, it made you feel like a goddess. Every time your skin touched his, you felt the electricity.

Thanks to him, you were able to finally understand what true love is. What it means to have a friend, a lover, a confidant, a partner in crime all in one person. He was the reason you could keep going everyday.

But as the days went by, both of you started to grow apart because of schedules… So many things to prepare. You couldn't see the difference between day or night anymore. However even though you both tried with all your power to make it work, it wasn’t possible, the day only had 24 hours and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't find time for your relationship.

(...Lost in confusion, like an illusion

You know I'm used to making your day…)

You remember the nights you spent in their practice room, watching them dance and practice for their performances. How many sleepless nights you spent with them, but you didn’t care the slightest because every hour was worth it.

How many times have you called him crying in the middle of a day because you thought you couldn’t do this anymore? But you only needed to hear him laugh to make you feel better.

How many times did you send selcas in between your schedules? Or how many times did he send you dorky and cute videos telling you how much he loved you?

You still have every single pic and video in your phone, and you weren’t going to delete them any time soon.

(...But that is the past now, we didn't last now

I guess that this is meant to be, yeah

Tell me was it worth it? We were so perfect…)

This part hits you home and that’s when your tears start to fall.

You would live this life again if that meant being with Hyunjae. You love him so much, and are so grateful to have met him that even if you didn’t get your happy ending, you would go through hell again only for a last kiss.

Every single minute was worth it.

(...There's nothing like us, there's nothing like you and me

Together through the storm

There's nothing like us, there's nothing like you and me

Together…)

You’re not singing anymore for the people.

You’re only singing to Hyunjae and you mean every word.

There’s nothing like your relationship.

There’s nothing like him and you together.

There’s nothing like your love.

You finish the song with your eyes closed and trembling hands. Everything is so quiet that you are afraid to open your eyes.

And after that everything goes in a blur, you only remember the MC thanking you many times, the arms of one of the girls wrapped around you, taking you to the car and raining non-stop.

You finally get home and can’t wait to go straight to your room and cry your eyes out. You get out of your car and start running to your dorms, only to find someone sitting in the rain.

To find the love of your life waiting for you.

You stare at each other for a few seconds, and once you realize he’s actually there you go straight to him running and wrap yourself around him. How much have you missed his arms, his kisses. He was your safe place.

- I saw it -. He says quietly and you know he’s crying too. - You don't know how much I missed you, love-. You feel the rain pouring but you don’t care anymore, if you are with him you’ll get together through the storm.

- I’m not gonna let you go ever again. Because there’s nothin like us -.

[siren-virus]

Luckyboy!AU thing. So I went looking some stuff up, and I can perfectly imagine that Ben would name himself Nekomata, the name for the lucky cats in japanese; you know, because he wants the victims he rescues to have luck in their lives and to bring some of that to himself. However this confuses the Plumbers a whole lot, after all, why would a vigilante want to bring to himself and the others luck in education and love? Green Nekomatas bring luck in education and pink ones (close enough to magenta) bring luck towards love. Spoiler: Ben didn't know what the colors mean, he just thought that the lucky cats bring luck in general to people. His stickers could be coins in order to keep up the theme, or it could be some kind of cats to keep the cat aesthetic.

I also need some fluff between the different "people" (still don't know which noun to use to represent both humans and aliens that isn't "beings" (kinda uncomfortable using that one, since it also encapsulates non inteligent creatures) ) that visit the coffee shop while Ben is working there, like some conversation that he would have with Rook or Gwen, or how he could give some ideas to Cooper over the next technological thing to create/modify, a chat with Kevin about what alien technology he could sell to the civilians that would make him money AND avoid the eye of the Plumbers (and his vigilante persona too if they aren't dangerous)

Would his parents and Max surprise visit him to the coffee shop? I'd imagine that they would, not only to see him but also to have an excuse to give him money in the form of tips without being returen the money XD "You guys just gave me a big ass tip" "Well we just happen to like the service" "I GAVE YOU A GLASS OF WATER" "We REALLY like your service *wink*", meanwhile, Max's watching everything from the table sipping his own extravagant coffee (don't tell me he wouldn't find a way to add some tentacles to his coffee one way or another, forcing Ben to make one that way XD)

Also, what would happen with the love interests that Ben had in the prime dimension? Would he have met any of them in this timeline? How would his relationship with them be? Would any of them come visit him to his job?

Also also, I imagine that Ben would ask grandpa Max any time some of his friends want a tour through the Plumbers HQ to give them all a pass of some kind and do the tour himself (sometimes with his grandpa by his side, sometimes it's Rook, sometimes he's alone, and the best of times he would be with the other Plumber kids going alongside doing lots of pranks at the same time)

I wonder how many charms does Ben have in his home, since some of them are really useful and would help in a lot of things, like I imagine he would use a light charm and reduce his living costs that way, or a heating charm for the same effect.

Finally, I have to say that I love that animation you did of Ben hating early mornings (and if he was out all night and went without sleep, then thank fuck he works at a coffee shop XD), and that tiny detail of him snapping his fingers with both hands, it's just, ugh, I LOVE IT, it reminds me of The Addams Family opening theme. Maybe whenever he does a spell he does that double hand finger snap as a way to focus himself? It'd be a funny easter egg for anyone who would be able to discern it (aka Jimmy, 'cause let's be honest, he would totally find a way to link the double snap with the show somehow, and he would be totally right XD)

Damn dude, I love that whole thing. He would totally choose that name without thinking about it. Nekomata... Rolls off the tongue nicely.

Fluff, eh? People is good enough.

With Gwen, like I said in another post (did I? maybe...) Their conversations would be brief, usually Ben just trying to get a rise out of his cousin to force her into a chat.

Rook is similar, their conversations are brief, but if Ben asks the right questions, serves him a particularly good drink, saves extra amber ogia tarts for him. Rook would be more than happy to indulge. They don't talk about plumbers business, Rook's smart enough to know not to exchange information with a civilian. (Even though Ben probably knows it already.) More, Rook discusses Earth culture with Ben, trying to play catch up with slang, sometimes he'll even indulge some info about his home planet, his friends, family, and girlfriend.

I don't believe Ben and Cooper would talk much, the only reason he's in the cafe is because Manny, Helen, and Alan (if he's not working) forcefully dragged him from the lab, kicking and screaming.

"i'll have an espresso shot. with some honey too... please." Is the only thing he'll before engrossing himself in what tech he managed to bring along.

The one with Kevin is interesting, I do like the idea of Ben tryna push Kevin in the right direction. But Kevins love of tadenite, and the fact he sells weaponry would propbably prevent that.

Instead Ben would try to get as much info from him as possible, subtly giving Kevin a little extra when it comes to info exchange. Kevins lips are sealed. Unless Ben decides to spill some info on Gwen. Kevin plays dumb, but it's easy to spot his interest.

Absolutely, Max, his parents, AND Patelliday all come for visits. At first his parents would be super cautious entering the cafe, they did their best to try to make Ben quit and find a "normal cafe" to work at. They also did their best to convince Ben to move back in. They would deffinitely use any excuse under the sun to tip Ben. They make regular visits on saturdays for morning tea. They don't stick around long though, aliens still spook them a little.

Max and Patellliday - are a unit- would always order a drink together. Max going with the basic Flat White, with some tentacles, of course. Patelliday going for the Boba Fish Tank... they have to restock their gold fish tank every week.

Ben has a good poker face, having to make such a... variety of drinks, and watch how his customer drink/eat. It leaves scars...

Love interests.

Well with Julie, Ben unfortunately never got the confidence to ask her out. But they're really good friends still. (Ben also learned as he got older that not every girl he's friends with wants to date.) Julie comes by the cafe every now and again, always checking if Bens there first before entering, she still managed to get Ship surprisingly, so Ship is always happy to get a pupacino, can't drink it or anything. Just happy to smoosh his face into it.

With Kai, they never had that meeting when they were 10. She comes to Bellwood every now and again, she and Gwen are surprisingly good friends. They clash alot though.

Kai comes by the cafe sometimes too, Ben think she looks nice, but they've had no interactions. (She's not a coffee person, just a water gal.)

Esther, there's no meeting between them, as Ben that is. However, Esther can't deny she feels something towards Nekomata. The guys charming.

I think there's another girl, but I can't remember ;;;

Tour guides? At plumbers HQ? Much as Ben would love to guide his friends around, the amount of jailbreaks that happen there is too many (the plumbers have shit security)... He's not even allowed there most times unless there is someone capable by his side.

More often than not Ben would be disappointed to see one of his regulars, Fist Rick out on the streets the day after he was arrested.

Yes yes yes!! Ben uses a lot of his mana on little things to make his life easier and more convenient. This also comes at the cost of using too much energy, so normally he makes sure to do this when he knows he doesn't have work.

Thank! I work best when I have a visual setting ;; Maybe I should switch careers to be a vis dev.

Also ngl, the whole finger snapping thing, Idk where that came from ;; Could be a cool easter egg thingy

Some days Ben has to be stopped from drinking the coffee. Mr Baumann (yes, he's the head honcho) threatens to send Ben home on those days.

[calwrites]

The Halloween Party

Summary: Reader has lived across the hall from Penelope Garcia for a couple years and considers her to be one of her best friends. That’s the only reason she agreed to go to a Halloween match making party.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.2k

I wrote this very quickly so it’s not the best, but I couldn’t let Halloween go by without writing something for Reid.

——————

“I still can’t believe I let you talk me into this stupid match making thing,” you grumbled at the blonde currently on your couch.

Penelope Garcia smiled at you over her wine glass. “Well I wanted to go but only if my favorite neighbor did it too.”

“I’m the only neighbor you talk to,” you pointed out. Penelope stuck her tongue out at you and waved her empty glass in the air. You rolled your eyes, but refilled her glass anyway.

You and Penelope had lived in the same building for a few years. When you had seen the brightly dressed woman lugging boxes down the hall, you had offered to help her move everything in. She had intrigued you. You had passed each other in the hall a couple of times after that, but had never really talked until one evening when you heard a knock on your door.

It had puzzled you because you were still pretty new to the area so you didn’t have any friends who would be dropping by unexpectedly. Opening the door, you had found Penelope standing in the hall crying.

“I had a really bad day at work. I just really need someone to talk to,” she had said. You ushered her in and spent the night learning about Penelope’s job as a technical analyst for the BAU. Now whenever Penelope’s team got through with a tough case, she would come collapse on your couch while the two of you drank wine and decompressed.

“You’re also the one who told me to get out there and forget about Kevin,” Penelope countered.

“Yeah well I didn’t think you’d drag me along.”

“It’s not just you! I convinced some of my friends at the BAU to sign up too. Besides, I know you’re excited for the party. You already bought two dresses.” She pointed at the dresses still laying out on your kitchen table. You were trying to decide whether a black dress or white dress would be better for your costume.

“I’m always excited for a Halloween costume party. I just never thought I’d be one of those sad people who signs up for a matchmaking party.”

“Y/N, you are one of the smartest people I know. And I work for the FBI. I know a lot of smart people. The only reason you’re still single is because whenever you get time off from teaching you spend it trying to solve impossible math equations. And I thought you said your match sounded nice.”

You sighed. “Trying to solve an impossible math equation is arguably the most important part of my job. I think the university cares more about that than the courses I teach sometimes. I guess he does seem nice. He’s either very smart or he’s very good at using google to sound smart. Either way, when you look at the data, the likelihood of finding a long term partner through a survey is-“

Penelope groaned. “No! I get enough info dumping at work. Let’s just talk about the party. It’s next weekend and you’re buying clothes for it so I assume you and your partner decided on your costumes. What is it?”

When Penelope had invited you to a Halloween costume party, you had been quick to accept. She then told you that it was a matchmaking party where you had to fill out a survey and were then matched with another attendee. Pairs would have to decide on costumes and then find each other at the party. Until then, pairs wouldn’t know who the other person was. Definitely not your usual definition of fun.

“I’m not telling you,” you teased. Penelope gasped on faux anger before the two of you burst into laughter and decided on a movie to watch.

——————

You stared at your computer screen intently, willing the message to change.

I’ve been out of state for a work trip for the past few days. I didn’t mention it earlier because I was hoping that we would get back in plenty of time. It took a couple more days than we were anticipating though. We’re about to take off, so I’ll make it back in time for the party but I won’t have time to put out on my whole costume. I can just wear the cape or something if you don’t have any better suggestions. I’m looking forward to meeting you tonight.

You chewed your lip thoughtfully before an idea popped into your head. And you began typing back a response.

That’s a shame. I was looking forward to seeing your Masque of the Red Death costume. I have a new idea though. What character refused to wear a costume to a costume ball?

The response came back almost immediately.

And I was looking forward to seeing your Leonore costume. I’m sure that there are a number of characters who fit that description. Would you like a list?

You smiled and rolled your eyes.

It’s another gothic story. He’s throwing the fancy dress party, but he refuses to dress up. His new wife’s costume causes a bit of a stir. Enough clues?

The reply caused you to get up quickly to begin sorting out your new costume.

I’ll see you tonight, Mrs. de Winters.

A few hours later found you ready to leave. You were thankful that you still had the white dress you had previously purchased with the idea of using it for Leonore. You were even more thankful that you still had a wig from a few Halloween’s ago that worked for your costume. So now, with a white dress and curly dark hair, you were ready to leave.

“Ok I give up,” Penelope said when she opened her door. “What are you supposed to be?”

“I’m the narrator from Rebecca,” you told her. “It’s kind of a last minute costume. I’m glad your case wrapped up today. I would be bummed if I had to go without you.”

“Well it’s a good thing it didn’t come to that.” Penelope looped her arm through yours and pulled you down the hallway, the two of you laughing as you went.

——————

Thankfully the room wasn’t too loud when you and Penelope arrived. Jack-o-lanterns and bowls of candy sat on tables around the edge of the room, and bats and ghosts hung from the ceiling. You and Penelope made a circuit around the room, trying to find your matches.

“Maybe ours guys are running late,” Penelope suggested. The two of you had moved to a snack table while you surveyed the sea of costumes around you.

“Or they’re ditching us.” Penelope gave you a playful swat. You were saved from another attack by Penelope’s phone dinging.

“Oh! Some of my friends are here. Come meet them.” Before you could protest, Penelope was dragging you across the room. Two people stood against the wall talking, but broke into smiles and waved when they saw Penelope approaching.

“Y/N, this is Derek and Emily. Guys, this is my neighbor Y/N.”

You smiled and shook hands with the two FBI agents.

“So you’re the famous Y/N,” Derek grinned. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Famous? If anyone is famous it’s Derek “chocolate thunder” Morgan. The way Penelope talks about you, I was imagining a superhero. She wasn’t wrong.”

“I like her,” Derek laughed.

Emily groaned. “He does not need a bigger ego.”

“Where’s Reid?” Penelope asked. “Don’t tell me he bailed.”

“He said he needed to stop by his apartment first. We came straight from the plane. And don’t worry, Hotch and JJ both assured us they would take pictures of the kids in their costumes.” Penelope squealed and clapped her hands excitedly.

You chatted with Penelope and her friends for a few more minutes before Penelope spotted a man wearing a matching costume to hers. She waved bye to your little group and rushed off to meet him, leaving you with the two FBI agents.

“Oh there’s Pretty Boy,” Derek cried.

“I was kind of expecting you to show up in an intricate costume. You love Halloween, Spencer,” Emily said.

You turned to find a handsome man approaching your group. He was wearing a nice suit and had a leather satchel slung over his shoulder.

“No time, unfortunately.” The man shrugged. “I just had to pick up some books from my apartment. Hi. I’m Dr. Spencer Reid. You must be Garcia’s friend.” He turned to you, but didn’t extend a hand. You realized that this must be the young genius Penelope mentioned from time to time.

“Y/N,” you replied. Spencer’s eyes took in your costume carefully. You tried not to shift uncomfortably.

“Are you planning on doing some reading tonight?” Derek asked.

“No. My date and I were discussing a volume of poetry that I have, so I wanted to bring it to show her.”

“What a ladies man,” Emily teased. “How’s she going to know it’s you though? You’re not wearing a costume.”

“Actually, I am.” Spencer smiled slightly at the confused looks on his friends’ faces. What he just said clicked for you suddenly.

“Maxim?” You asked before you could stop yourself.

Spencer blinked at you in surprise before smiling widely. “Mrs. de Winters?”

Emily and Derek looked between of you in slight confusion, but you and Spencer smiled at each other in delight. “We’ll leave you two to it,” Derek teased as he and Emily walked away.

“I’m glad that you’re a friend of Penelope’s and not a complete stranger,” you admitted. “I was a little worried I’d get stuck with some weirdo. Not that you sounded weird when we talked!”

“Well our first conversation was about the statistics of meeting a murderer when online dating. That’s a little weird.” The two of you laughed slightly.

“I’m a math professor, so I’m interested in anything statistics,” you admitted. “I’m kind of a nerd.”

“Same,” Spencer laughed. “You know these last minute costumes were a good idea.”

“I still want to see your Masque of the Red Death costume sometime.”

“Deal, but only if you tell me what you teach.”

You waved your hand. “Oh nothing exciting. Just some upper level math that nobody wants to take. The fun part of my job is trying to solve the Riemann hypothesis.”

“You’re trying to solve one of the Millennium Prize problems?” Spencer asked in surprise.

“I’m surprised you know about it.” Most people you talked to had no idea what the Millennium Prize problems were. You were sure they wondered why a university would tenure you just so you could keep trying to solve a math problem.

“I’ve looked over them before,” Spencer admitted shyly, like he was waiting for you to make fun of him.

“No luck?”

“Way beyond my level.” The two of you laughed slightly. A slower song began to play and couples danced slowly across the dance floor.

“Want to dance?” you suggested. Spencer hesitated and you worried for a second that you had overstepped, but then he smiled and held out his hand.

Neither one of you were very good dancers, but what you lacked in talent you made up for in smiles. You continued to discuss everything from mathematical theory to what working at the FBI was like to classic literature.

“Do you think this is how the Manderley fancy dress party would have gone if Mrs. Danvers hadn’t sabotaged the narrator?” you asked. “They could have been as happy as us dancing.”

Spencer thought for a moment. “I don’t think so. I don’t think they could have been truly happy together with all of the secrets still between them.”

“True,” you agreed. “So you think we’re happy?”

When Spencer smiled at you, your heart fluttered. “I’m pretty happy. This is going a lot better than I expected. Not that I didn’t think you sounded great when we talked online! But Derek said something about you sounding too good to be true, so I started to worry that you wouldn’t be as amazing in person, but I shouldn’t have. You’re even better in person.”

You smiled gently back at Spencer. “You’re better in person too.”

Spencer studied your face intently for a few seconds, a look of uncertainty on his face. “Can I kiss you?” he asked quickly, like he was afraid he would lose his nerve if he waited.

Your smile grew. “I’d like that,” you responded.

Spencer put one hand gently on your cheek, the other still resting on your waist, and brought his lips down to meet yours. When the two of you broke away, still smiling widely, you were totally oblivious to the looks of shock and delight on the FBI agents’ faces.

“I think we might have to do this again sometime, Mrs. de Winters.”

“I think so, Maxim.”

Without speaking, the two of you leaned in again, and you were able to capture Spencer’s lips once more. You didn’t think you’d get tired of this any time soon. If only you had taken Penelope up on her offer to set the two of you up last year.

[rin-archives]

Like We Always Do | Kim Sunwoo

Inspired by always and the vlive videos he has listening to keshi

Pairing: Kim Sunwoo & Female reader AU: Collegeboy!Sunwoo Word count: 1,851 Warnings: FWB relationship, mention of alcohol, drinking, mention of having sex (but not describing it) Genre: I don't really know what this is lol feel free to give it a genre? Author's Note: Initially I had a plot but while I was proof reading, the plot didn't match anymore lol I hope you enjoy reading it though!

You didn't know what to expect when college started for you. You didn't expect to meet your two best friends, Changmin and Chanhee. You didn't expect to meet their group of friends, especially Kim Sunwoo.

He wasn't the approachable type unlike the rest. Though you had difficulty reaching out to Younghoon at first, but you later realized that he was as crazy as your best friends were, especially if he was with Chanhee. They bicker a lot.

Jacob, Eric and Kevin became your second group of best friends. Especially when your classes didn't have Changmin or Chanhee, you'd either have one of the three instead. But you weren't always so lucky to have classes with them either. When you had physical education, you were alone. You got acquainted with your classmates in that class, all except one. Kim Sunwoo.

Whenever it's that class, he acts like he hasn't seen you before. He would avoid eye contact with you, he wouldn't stand next to you or near you which you thought was very rude. He even asked if he could switch partners with someone else when your teacher asked you to stretch in pairs. But that didn't work, so for the rest of that school year you were stuck with him as your stretching partner.

Finals was getting closer and that made you a home body. You didn't meet with any of your friends, and they didn't meet with you either since everybody wanted to try hard for the finals. Your studying was going smoothly until you had to work on your physical education finals project. Your finals project was to create a video about different ways to exercise at home. When the topic was given, you already had ideas, you just needed to execute them on video. "Now that we got the topic out of the way, I’ll be assigning your partners. Remember, this should be a team effort. This is either a pass or fail grading."

Your mind went blank. Especially when your professor said that you would be paired up with someone. You were praying to all the gods that you knew to be paired with anyone except Sunwoo. But it seemed the gods weren't in your favor.

Days after the announcement, he went to your apartment as you guys arranged in class. As much as you wanted to meet up outside or in a cafe, Sunwoo thought it would be much better if there weren't any people so you could brainstorm peacefully. He had a point, and he offered his place, but you didn't want to take any chances. So, now here you both are, brainstorming in the living room with snacks and a few cans of root beer.

"How flexible are you?" sunwoo asked, very randomly at that. "Um, I don't know? I mean, I did gymnastics when I was younger, but I didn't continue that anymore. Why?" you were nervous to ask for the reason, but it could have something to do with the project. "I thought about doing yoga. It's one way of exercising, plus it comes with meditation and a whole lot of core work to do some poses. So, I thought, why not do this?" he pushed his laptop monitor to you and showed you, his research. A couple of tabs were open that had different videos about yoga and a few articles about it were open too. People who knew Sunwoo thought that he wasn't a very good student, and that's what you honestly thought as your first impression of him. That impression you had though is long gone. You saw how serious he was while researching and compiling all your resources together. When he said he'll give you his part of the project, he delivered. When you both decided to work on the video at his place, you initially thought he'd turn you down in an instant, but he didn't. He cleaned up his place a bit on the day of the shooting and even prepared some yoga mats he borrowed from his sister.

From morning till late afternoon, you guys were working on the project; creating a script, thinking about yoga poses you'll both be doing and individually while one of you explains, and editing your first draft. Working with Sunwoo was productive. Surprised? You were too. He was the one who took the initiative on editing the video while you take a rest. "You can take a nap on my bed. I’ll work out here in the living room." he offered. It was a sweet offer, but you turned him down gently and said that you'll help him edit, even if you weren't the one using the laptop.

An hour later, you fell asleep without knowing. Sunwoo stretched his arms and legs then looked over to you only to see you asleep. Your head on the arm rest, while your legs were curled up to your chest. He figured you'd be uncomfortable, so he gently took your legs and placed them on his lap after removing his laptop that was previously there. He saved the video before closing it shut and eventually, he too fell asleep.

5 hours later, you woke up. Still feeling groggy but you managed to sit up to stretch an arm and rub your eyes. You looked to your right and noticed your legs on Sunwoo's lap. You blushed instantly and thought about removing them, but you didn't want to startle him. You checked the time on your watch, and it was almost 11pm. You needed to go if you wanted to catch the last bus ride back to your place, but you didn't have the heart to wake him up. Moving an inch closer, you took this opportunity to look at sleeping figure...and admire it in between.

You noticed how his nose was perfectly pointed and how his lips were so plump that you suddenly started wondering what it would feel like to be kissed by him. Startled by your own thoughts, you lightly shook your head and let out a small chuckle. People have always talked about how Sunwoo wasn't partner material for projects, but he was the exact opposite. He contributed a lot than you expected, and you were thankful to have a partner like him.

For the next few days, your schedule would have Sunwoo in it. Even after finals week, you would hang out whenever you were both free. When your final grades were given out, both of you passed and you wanted to celebrate with him. Only if he was up for it. "What do you have in mind then?" he asked. "Hmm, well, what do you do when you want to celebrate?"

"Stay home." he chuckled when he saw you rolled your eyes. "I’m serious!"

"I’m serious too. I just stay home. I only go out when the guys want to hang out." you sighed, crossing your arms and pouting. He found that cute, but he wouldn't tell you that obviously. "Come over to my place. We can watch a movie, have dinner and dessert." it didn't sound like a suggestion and an invitation. It felt like he was really telling you to come over, which you didn't mind since you've been there a couple of times during and after finals week.

After your last class, Sunwoo waited for you by the school entrance. Both of you went to the convenience store first buying some snacks and drinks (this time you went for alcoholic drinks) in case after dessert you'd get hungry. Arriving at his place, he told you to make yourself comfortable like always. You plopped yourself down on his couch, removing your cardigan and placing them on the arm rest. Sunwoo was in the kitchen preparing your instant dinner and taking out a bottle of soju.

A bottle of soju turned into bottles. The movie that he put on was dismissed, just playing in the background while you both take turns drinking as you played spin the bottle. It's usually fun with more than two people but you guys were having the time of your lives. It started out as a wholesome round, telling each other secrets you've never told your closest friends and such. Until Sunwoo started becoming flirty with you. You went with it at first thinking that he wasn't serious in doing it, but the more his actions got bolder, the more you started to realize that he was really hitting on you. Was it the alcohol? You can't really blame it on the alcohol. Was it the game you were playing? That's not it either, for sure.

"Are you flirting with me?" you boldly asked when the bottle pointed at you.

"What if I am?" he gave a small smirk.

"You better be responsible for doing it, mister." you said with a joking tone.

He let out a chuckle, you did the same and silence came into the room. You were just gazing into each other’s eyes, both showing a flirty smile, not realizing that Sunwoo have moved closer. Your cheeks were heating up. He probably saw a faint blush on your cheeks when he moved closer to you.

Slowly, he continued to move but this time he sat in front of you. You looked down on the ground and saw his hand slowly approaching yours to lace both your fingers together. Your cheeks were burning up. You didn't want to look at him because you were getting nervous, anxious and shy. But he made you. He lifted your head by putting his index finger and thumb under your chin, his eyes found yours and you couldn't help but stare back at him. Should you say something? Should you do something? You were starting to panic that you did something not like your character.

You kissed him.

You kissed him so abruptly that you didn't even had the chance to close your eyes, like how they kiss in the movies. You were about to pull yourself back but Sunwoo pulled you closer; he cupped your face, slightly tilting his head to kiss you better. You were melting. Your eyes shut slowly, and that kiss evolved to something else that involved getting in bed, getting naked and a lot of moaning.

Whatever you guys did that night, kept happening. Your friends didn't know but your best friends surely did. You couldn't hide it from them. But they told you to be careful. Being friends with benefits with someone is tricky. As Chanhee said, "There will always be someone that will fall in love in this kind of relationship." but that wasn't you.

That really wasn't you, because right after you graduated university, you went abroad. Sunwoo knew and you said goodbye to him. You didn't keep your plans a secret and neither did he.

He would always think about you though. Remembering the first time you met, your finals project, your first time in bed with him and your continued relationship as friends with benefits. He wished that he could turn back time and go back to those days.

Like we always do.

[nymph1e]

Okay fuck it, I gotta give in, I gotta watch through Supernatural. AFAIK, it's all on Netflix; at least I saw it on there in passing. Going into this, is there anything I should be aware of? Are there any episodes I should skip, any seasons? Should I start from season 4? I know the basic plot and concept, and I know it's very monster-of-the-week. But aside from me highkey shipping Destiel already, that's all.

Well my first piece of advice would be

but uh, let’s fucking ~GO~

If you’re actually jumping into this hellhole (why why why) don’t start at season 4. It’s tempting, but seasons 1-3 are some of the best shit in the whole show, also having context for Sam and Dean’s characters, and their relationship with the supernatural up to season 4 really highlights how fucking wild the introduction of angels is in the show. it’s basically a complete paradigm shift.

I would recommend you watch seasons 1-5 basically as is, though if you’re in a rush, season three is kinda skippable as long as you read a general synopsis. This is the original arc of the show and it shows. A friend of mine, @sammwinchestersdimples​ has said she’d have been fine if the show had ended there, and I can totally see her point. After season five things start to get... uhhhhh... not as good. THAT BEING SAID some really amazing seasons come later, and you’d get nowhere NEAR the Full Destiel Experience without them. What REALLY sucks is that all the seasons have good moments in them, so even if the seasons are generally bad, they’ll have episodes of GOLD. But fuck it, here’s a season-by-season breakdown.

Season 6 - This is the first... “eh” season. There’s a lot of character choices made in this one that I don’t like. The plot also doesn’t quite seem to know what to do with itself and it has no real main villain... or I guess it has a twist villain? This is also the season where they start chucking in the typical “no homos” you get when a show is queerbaiting, so they can point to the no homo bits and claim the queers are delusional.

Season 7 - The absolute WORST season, imo, is season 7, and it features Cas the least out of all the post season 4 seasons. You can tell the writers genuinely tried to write Cas off here. Not to mention the main plot is completely stupid. HOWEVER this is the season where we get golden things like Cas showing up to Dean’s prayer naked and covered in bees, and the episode where Charlie (best girl) is introduced and Dean subsequently has to flirt with a dude because she, a lesbian, cannot. (Wow so straight, Dean)

Episodes Not To Skip:

6x03 - A good Cas/plot episode (spot the famous destiel quote)

6x04 - A good all-round episode, also Jackles directed it so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6x09 - This is one of the Batshit Episodes. Definitely watch.

6x10 - On the one hand, Cas episode. On the other, no homo, megstiel episode. Your choice.

6x11 - Good episode.

6x15 - THE ULTIMATE META EPISODE. Sam and Dean are teleported into Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles’ lives on the set of Supernatural and it is so batshit.

6x17 - Jolly good episode, and nice destiel content.

6x18 - Time travel episode, which is always fun.

6x19 - “Baby in a trenchcoat.” ‘Nough said.

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King is the destiel episode. It is infamous in the fandom, and for good reason. It’s not just a good destiel episode, but one of the best episodes in the series. With banging lines like “Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.” and “For a brief moment, I was me again.”

6x21 & 6x22 - The last two episodes are kind of must-watches after TMWWBK, trust me.

Episodes Not To Skip:

7x01 & 7x02 - follows on from s6 final. You don’t wanna skip.

7x05 - Good general episode

7x06 - Again, good general episode. Sets ups plot for the season.

7x08 - Ugh. So the A plot for this episodes invoves Becky, the insane, stalker, fandom-insert character, roofie Sam into marrying her (and it’s heavily implied they have sex - and it’s treated as a joke despite being LITERAL RAPE). BUT this is the episode where Garth is introduced and Garth is fucking amazing. So. IDEK.

7x10 & 7x11 - Plot important.

7x12 - Time travel episode! See if you can catch the bi!dean moment ;)

7x17 - Cas is back! Or is he???

7x18 - GARTH EPISODE

7x20 - CHARLIE!!!! WATCH THIS EPISODE!!!!

7x21 - Cas episode. It’s... interesting.

7x22 - The tagline for this episode is “Sam and Dean seek out an Alpha” 😭. It’s a Cas episode.

7x23 - If Cas weren’t in this episode I’d say skip it.

Season 8 - A fantastic season. If The Man Who Would Be King is the destiel episode, season 8 is the destiel season. When you watch this, DM me so I can RANT about all the amazing destiel this season. It’s also, again, a great season in general I remember watching it as it was airing it was soooo good. You have the arrival of the Bunker, you have Kevin and Charlie being awesome, some nice sprinkles of batshit episodes, BEST BOY BENNY rocks up in all his glory. Fucking epic season. Only downside it Sam’s character takes a bit of a dive. I’d recommend you watch through all of this season.

Episodes To AVOID:

7x13 - I literally pretend this stupid fucking episode doesn’t exist. Basically Dean impregnates a woman with Super Pregnancy and she has a daughter who becomes an adult within hours and then dies. The end. Everyone hated it. Man fuck this episode. Of course it was written by Buckleming.

Season 9 - Sadly, after how amazing season 8 was, and how spectactularly season 9 was set up, this season is a disappointment. It’s an ok season. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just a bit all over the place.

I was going to give you the normal episode list to not skip, but looking through, most episodes this season should be watched for one reason or another. Either they’re Cas heavy, they do some interesting character building, or they feature one of the awesome side characters like Charlie or Jody.

This season is probably the height of the war in the writers’ room about destiel. Some writers want to no homo the whole thing and back way off, while other writers want to lean into it hard. So in the same season where SPOILER Cas loses his virginity to a random reaper woman and Dean kicks Cas out of the bunker to fend for himself, you also have Cas’ fatal flaw used as propaganda against him by Metatron being that he’s "in love” with humanity Dean. /SPOILER Whatever you do DON’T SKIP THE FINAL FEW EPISODES. TRUST ME.

Season 10 - Haha oh dear. This season is likely the biggest for wasted potential. You saw the end of season 9, right? You go “HOLY SHIT YES LET’S DO THIS” and then they do... season 10. They really became experts at setting up an awesome season only to fuck it up in delivery, right? Again, not a bad season, per se.

Episodes To AVOID:

9x05 - In which Dean wants to fuck a dog. I am not joking. I wish I were. Basically a spell-gone-wrong makes Dean doglike. it’s weird. it’s batshit. Not the good kind.

Season 11 - Season 11 is a pretty good season! They tried to give Dean a female love interest but Jackles said  ✨No✨ and played Dean as brainwashed and uncomfortable the whole time and I love him for it. Of special note this season is the episode Baby (11x04), which is my favourite episode in the series! It’s funny, it’s heartwarming, it’s weirdly shot. I love it! We also get casifer this season which is awesome! Some episodes are skippable, but they’re generally good episodes.

Episodes NOT to Skip (ignore the 10 year special):

10x01 & 10x02 - Great episodes, Dean in this is *chefs kiss*.

10x04 - *sighs* Fan Fiction. A 200th episode that is simultaneously a love letter to fans and laughing in fans’ faces. I’ve never liked this episode for the second-hand embarressment of it all, but you should watch it and see if you like it.

10x06 - Pretty good episode.

10x07 - Jody AND Donna! Fantastic episode!

10x08 - Dadstiel rears his ugly head. I fucking love how Cas adopts two (2) kids over the course of the series and in both cases Dean eventually goes “ah fuck, I guess I gotta co-parent this thing”. Also we get some KILLER destiel this episode. hey go on a DATE and Cas tells Dean he’s a good person ^_^

10x09 - Good episode. Much destiel.

10x10 - Charlie episode!

10x11 - Teen!Dean! Need I say more?

OK so I just had a look, and you really just need to watch every episode from this point in the season on. Enjoy!

Season 12 - Another example of a TERRRIBLE season, is season 12. Season 12 is also one of the most destiel-heavy seasons in the show. You see the issue? Like, it’s got a stupid plot that makes no sense and has no fucking cohesion, but you also FINALLY have the writers going “fuck it” and all in on the destiel. After this point Dean never has another non-Cas love interest and vice versa, they stop giving us whiplash from baiting and no-homoing. IF the conspiracy theory is true, and the end of the show is shit because of executive meddling, this season is the one where the writers decided they were gonna push for destiel endgame.

I gotta tell you the truth, I skipped this season in my rewatch, so all of my memories are from years ago when it first came out. This seson was the last that I watched live (for a reason). Should you skip it? No. But I’m not well informed enough about this season that I can point out what episodes you should or should not watch.

Season 13 - Congratulations! You’ve reached the point where the show’s gotten consistently good again! (just in time for most of the audience to have already left lol). We start off with SPOILERS Dean mourning Cas like he’s lost the will to fucking live. I’m talking complete despondence, praying for Cas to come back, lashing out in anger at everything, one of the darkest points we’ve ever seen him at on the show, then pulling a 180 and being super happy the second Cas comes back. /SPOILERS They also introduce Jack, who is the SECOND child Cas decides to adopt and Dean ends up co-parenting (Sam too). In fact, Jack is explicity Sam, Cas, and Dean’s kid.

Season 14 - Another good one. My only issue is where they decided to take the plot at the end of the season. I’d recommend watching it all, regardless.

Season 15 - And so we’ve come to the end of the line. This season was... well it was actually pretty good. It started off with what we hellers lovingly refer to as the “divorce arc” where Cas and Dean have a big blow up, and Cas leaves, but that ends with Dean praying on his knees for forgiveness and a nice hug. Honestly this season you can cut the tension between the two of them like a knife, and you can tell Misha and Jensen were doing it deliberately.

I’d say watch up until 15x18, then you decide what to do with the last two episodes. If you want you can watch them to understand just why people put their conspiracy theory hats on, or you can send me another ask and I’ll rec you some post 15x18 finale fics! There’s one fic that’s a replacement for 15x20 written in script format that is particularly good.

Anyway that’s it. It’s kind of left me a little sad, to break down the show in this way. Especially coming up to season 15 nd remembering all the wasted potential. Honestly if you do decide to watch the show, good luck. I hope you enjoy it. I’m also glad you never had to be put through the bullshit false hope that came about after 15x18.

[detectiveupstead]

What A Guy [Upstead One Shot]

Summary: Jay pays Hailey a visit when he hears about her break up with Adam. Because he’s a good partner.

“Man, this week felt like it dragged,” Adam sighed, running his fingers through his hair as he slid into the booth across from Jay.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Jay said, leaning back in the booth, hands wrapped around the beer bottle as he played with the label. Molly’s was somewhat busy that night, given the weekend was coming up. Music was playing and he could see Severide and Casey playing darts on the other side.

Kevin, who swallowed his sip of beer, settled the bottle back down and let out a breath of his own. “Well, at least we got Shaw. And Gina got her meds,” he said, looking towards the brighter side of things.

Jay flicked his eyebrows up, nodding in agreement. They’d just wrapped up the case the day before, and today had been spent finishing up any of the paperwork that needed to be filed. They all agreed it had been a bit of a difficult case, given that Gina and her husband Bob only wanted her to live and were wrapped up in Shaw’s schemes. It was rough, to say the least, to see how far a man would go for someone he loved. But Jay couldn’t fault Bob for that.

“Gotta tell you guys—after I down a few beers, I can’t wait to knock out,” Adam said with a shake of his head. Jay was inclined to agree with him.

“’Course you can’t,” Kevin said, shooting his friend a teasing look, eyebrows raised and smile coy. “You’ve got Upton right next to you.”

Jay hoped neither of them noticed the way his grip tightened on his beer bottle, feeling something clench in his chest as he took a long sip. He’d been doing a good job in not thinking about his partner and Adam together—and an even better job in not considering why he felt so uncomfortable about it.

Across from him, he noticed the way Adam’s expression faltered, leaning back. “Ah,” he said, clicking his tongue, avoiding eye contact with either of his friends. “Yeah, no, Hailey and I—we’re over.”

A startled expression crossed over Jay’s face at Adam’s news, blinking at him in incredulity, unsure if he’d heard him right. But judging by Kevin’s bewildered expression, Jay knew he’d heard Adam right. They’d ended things? When? And why hadn’t Hailey said anything?

He thought of how she hadn’t told him she and Adam were together until Jay walked in on them arguing, so he wasn’t too surprised that she didn’t tell him the relationship was over. Despite his disappointment.

“Oh, shit, bro, I’m sorry to hear that,” Kevin said with a frown. He patted Adam’s shoulder as he asked, “You wanna talk about it?”

Adam’s lips quirked to the side. “Nah, it’s fine.”

Unable to help his curiosity, yet maintaining sensitivity for his friend, Jay asked, “What happened?”

“We just. . .” Adam shrugged, lips puckering thoughtfully for a moment. “We didn’t mesh well, y’know? Relationship wise.” He let out a breath, offering a small smile. “It wasn’t meant to become anything more and I think we both realized that in the end. So we, uh, broke it off last night.”

Last night?

Jay remembered Hailey’s words, remembered how she’d told him that she hadn’t expected anything to truly come from her and Adam getting together. How it had taken her off guard. He wondered if this breakup took her off guard, too. Wondered if he should be there for her.

She was his partner. He wanted to be there for her.

Jay frowned, shaking his head slightly at Adam. “I’m sorry, man,” he said genuinely, echoing Kevin’s words.

He stayed at Molly’s for another forty-five minutes before calling it a night. He bid Adam and Kevin goodnight and as he walked over to his truck, he shot Hailey a text.

Hey, you awake?

She responded quickly. Yeah, what’s up? Everything good?

Jay opened the door of his truck but didn’t get in as he texted her. Mind if I come over?

He bit his lip, watching as the three dots appeared in the lower left-hand corner. Yeah, sure thing.

A quick smile lifted at Jay’s lips as he hopped into the truck, letting out a breath as the engine roared to life. The drive to Hailey’s place was quick, consisting of Jay tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel and running his thoughts through his mind, wondering what, exactly, he was going to say to Hailey. Nothing came up, but that didn’t stop him from pulling up in front of her house.

Jay pocketed his keys as he approached the door, ringing the doorbell as he let out a breath. He could feel his heart drumming in his chest, telling himself he had no reason to be nervous. He was just checking in on his partner. He was allowed to do that, wasn’t he?

Unless he was overstepping. Unless this wasn’t something Hailey wanted to talk about and he was just going to make her uncomfortable.

He could feel himself beginning to panic at the idea of him shoving his nose in business that wasn’t his. But before he could back off, the door swung open, and there stood Hailey. She was in her leggings and an oversized Chicago Bears sweatshirt, looking all kinds of comfortable and homey, blonde tresses falling over her shoulders. Pretty, as always.

“Hey,” she greeted with a smile that hinted at her dimples, stepping to the side to let him in. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Jay answered as he stepped into the warmth of her home, hands still shoved in the pockets of his jacket as he turned to face her. He offered a smile. “Can’t a guy drop by to chat with his partner?”

Hailey raised her eyebrows, though a smile played on her mouth. “At eleven at night? Maybe,” she hummed as they walked into the kitchen. Glancing at him over her shoulder, she asked, “Scotch?”

One drink wouldn’t hurt—it’d ease his nerves far easier than the beer ever could. “Don’t mind if I do.”

He watched as Hailey poured them two glasses, his gaze trained on her face. She didn’t look. . . Heartbroken. Not that Hailey ever wore her emotions so clearly on her face on a regular basis. But Jay liked to think he was starting to read her expressions the longer they were partnered together. And right now, she was guarded. As if she knew exactly why he was there and was doing her best in keeping herself in check. He wanted to tell her she didn’t have to do that—not with him.

As she slid the glass over to him, Hailey raised her eyebrows. “Seriously, though—to what do I owe this pleasure?”

They stood at the counter, Jay bracing himself with one hand against it and the other wrapped around his glass. Meeting her blue eyes, Jay started cautiously, “I was at Molly’s with Adam, and. . .”

Understanding flickered across her features as she nodded. “And he told you we ended things.”

Jay pressed his lips together. “He did.” Hailey nodded again, dropping her gaze to her glass, tapping her nails against it. Jay ducked his head, trying to meet her eyes as he said, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Hailey let out a short, breathless chuckle as she pushed herself away from the counter. She shot him a quick smile. “I’m fine, Jay,” she told him, turning to walk towards the living room with her glass.

He gave her a flat look, even though she couldn’t see it, as he followed her. “Yeah, that was convincing,” he said after taking a sip of the Scotch. Hailey sat down on the couch and Jay joined her, putting his glass down on the coffee table. Resting his arms on his knees, Jay looked at Hailey, who sat to his right. “Look, Hails—I know it probably sounds a bit hypocritical coming from me, but our little talks over drinks don’t just have to be about work, you know? If there’s ever anything on your mind, you know I’m more than willing to listen.”

She was always willing to listen to him, to get him to talk if there was anything on his mind. He didn’t often cash that in, but he did at times, and Jay could admit after talking to Hailey, he always felt better. Especially when they got together after a bad case and needed to vent. Talking to Hailey. . . It always helped. She never judged him, always listened. And they worked—always.

“I know, Jay,” Hailey said, her voice quiet yet the gratitude obvious. She looked down at her hands between her knees, blonde hair curtaining her profile. Hailey was silent for a few moments and Jay wondered if she was going to let him in. If not, he was fine to sit in silence with her. Her company was always a comfort, and he knew the feeling was mutual.

“It wasn’t meant to last,” she finally said, catching Jay’s attention. “We got together without expecting much, y’know? I mean, we work well together but just. . . Professionally, I guess.” Hailey let out a laugh, then, but it was fake and didn’t sound right coming from her. “But I’m not heartbroken or anything. I mean, it sucks, but it’ll be fine.” When she smiled this time, Jay saw the sincerity in it, feeling something tighten in his chest at it being directed towards him. “No big deal—you didn’t have to check on me.”

Jay knew Hailey kept a lot to herself; he was the same way, but that’s why they worked—they were able to pull each out. They were able to find that balance, knowing when to push and when to give space. So, Jay shot Hailey a flat look, one that told her what exactly he thought of not checking on her. “You’re my partner.” Then, jokingly he added, “It’s in the job description.”

Hailey rolled her eyes, though her smile lingered, the fondness that prompted her dimples easing something in Jay’s chest. “What, having my back on the field and when I’m going through a break-up?”

Jay flashed her a grin, quick yet charming. “Absolutely.”

She snorted, reaching for her glass, bringing it up to her lips right after muttering fondly, “What a guy.”

He tipped his glass towards her before sipping it as well, feeling his smile grow. Her guy. He was her guy, and Jay could declare that unabashedly and proudly as he leaned back on the couch, comfortable in her presence as Hailey settled back as well. And so they sat together in silence, drinking their Scotch and reveling in each other’s company.

When Jay glanced over her, he’d see the small smile playing at her lips, any lingering tension having long since gone. As if his company was enough to put her at ease, make her forget anything weighing her down. He knew that’s how it felt for him when she was with him. He loved knowing it was mutual.

And so he sat with his partner in the quiet of her living room, giving her his company for as long as she wanted it, not knowing that if Hailey had it her way, she’d never let him leave.

[inadaydream99]

um... is req rlly open? if so, can i drop one for either hak/chanhee (you can choose ^^ tbh I'm in a crisis between both 😳) and if I could choose a genre, probably angst with a FLUFFY ending(?) srry, it sounds cliche but I love for those kinda things.

Hey, thank you for sending in a request! I thought I could use both Chanhee and Haknyeon in this oneshot so I really hope you like it! 😁

Accidentally Confessed

“You what?” You stand dumbstruck in the middle of the room. All eyes on you, including Chanhee’s guilt stricken ones.

“But I didn’t mean to...” He desperately tries to reason, but to no use. He went behind your back, betrayed your trust. “Come on (Y/N), please stay. I said I was sorry.” He chases after you as you angrily grab your bag and storm off.

“No Chanhee, you betrayed me. My own best friend told everyone the one secret I trusted no one else with!” Your voice comes out hoarse, throat tight from using all its strength to hold back your tears.

“I didn’t mean to though!” He calls after you but gives up when you slam the door in his face.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you can fix it.” Younghoon approaches Chanhee from behind, comfortingly placing his hand on his friends slumped shoulder.

“Yeah, by tomorrow you’ll be best friends again I’m sure.” Hyunjae joins, trying to pick up the mood.

“No, I think I’ve really messed up this time.” Chanhee mumbles before dragging himself away, wanting nothing more than to hibernate and wallow in his regrets.

~

It’s been three days since your so called friend blurted your secret and you’re arguably even more enraged than before. The more you think about the situation the more hurt you feel.

You’d told Chanhee about your crush on Haknyeon in confidence. You even made him promise to never tell anyone. But I guess promises don’t mean to same to everyone.

“Come on (Y/N), please talk to me.” Chanhee whines as he follows you like a lost puppy. He’s been doing this all day, relentlessly pleaing for you to stop ignoring him. But you’re still so hurt you can’t even begin to think about forgiveness.

The only reason you were even in the same room as him is because you’d come over to visit the rest of the guys. Kevin had invited you over to hang out in hopes that you could amend things with Chanhee. But he was very wrong.

“Hey Kevin, you want a soda?” You causally offer as you open the refrigerator in search of an iced drink.

“Sure, thanks.” He smiles back at you before resuming his previous activity of scrolling through his social media.

“What about me? I want a soda...” Chanhee desperately continues his attempts at getting your attention.

“Whatcha looking at?” You blatantly ignore Chanhee, walking right past him to reach Kevin and hand him his drink.

“Oh, just some news. I’m trying to find some article that Haknyeon told me about.” Kevin beams towards you, nodding his head in thanks as you place the can down in front of him.

You try to hold back your faltering smile at the mention of Haknyeon, but Kevin still picks up on the uncomfortable laugh that emits from you in responce. It’s a sore topic, but you haven’t heard from him since your secret came out and you’re guessing it’s a sign he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.

“You know he is here... if you wanna talk to him about it.” You’re snapped out of your thoughts by Kevin’s suggestion. He’s giving you that look that tells you he knows what’s troubling you.

“Even if I wanted to...” You raise your voice a little as you cast a quick glance over to Chanhee as he is sat at the opposite end of the table looking sulky. “I don’t think it’s the best idea.” You continue, letting out a deflated sigh at the end, turning back to face Kevin.

“Well, you never know.” He sympathises. That’s one of the things about Kevin that you love, he’s always so understanding towards everyone. It’s what always makes you want to seek him out when you need advice or comforting.

“Thanks.” You mutter gratefully before deciding that maybe you should be brave and face the possibility of rejection. No point letting fear control your life, right?

~

“Oh hey (Y/N)!” Eric greets you, ever the bubbly excitable person he is. “Guys, (Y/N)’s here!” He briefly turns to inform everyone of your presence.

“Hey Eric, is Haknyeon here? Kinda need to talk...” You awakwardly trail off. Truth be told you’re unsure of whether you really want to go through with this, but it’s going to happen at some point right? Better to get it over and done with that to let things go on for too long.

“Oh yeah, he’s just over the back.” You peak over to where Eric is pointing to spot Haknyeon laughing as he watches Hyunjae and Sunwoo battle against each other on whatever video game they’re playing.

“Right, thanks.” You take a deep breath, straightening out your posture before entering the darkened room. You feel Eric pat your back in encouragement, smiling at you knowingly.

“Um Haknyeon?” Your greeting comes out more as a question as you approach said boy.

He doesn’t hear you at first, the room being filled with so much commotion coming from the sounds of the tv and the shouting that ensues.

“Haknyeon?” You try again, this time speaking up a bit louder in an attempt to be heard over the noise.

“Go left!” He shouts, clearly completely immersed in cheering Sunwoo on. The room eruptes into cheers when Sunwoo wins, Haknyeon standing up out of his seat and jumping on the spot in celebration.

“Did you see that? Incredible!” He turns to you, placing both of his hands on your shoulders and shaking you lightly as he continues to celebrate.

“Can we talk?” You ask through a burst of giggles, his excitement making you feel more at ease.

“Oh yeah, of course.” Haknyeon chirps. “Is out here ok?” He asks as he makes his way out of the room, in the direction of his shared bedroom, with you following his lead.

~

“So, what is it you want to talk about?” He causally asks, giving you his full attention and waiting with a warm smile.

“I just wanted to address the whole crush thing that happened the other day.” You selfconsciously answer, eyes looking anywhere other than directly at Haknyeon.

“Oh right, you know I wasn’t actually sure if Chanhee had made that up or not.” Haknyeon lightly laughs, which makes you relax a little. It’s good to know that it hasn’t made him feel awkward around you.

“Well, he wasn’t exactly— I mean, he was kinda—” you stumble over your words, not sure of the best way to tell him.

“I like you too.” You freeze when you hear Haknyeon’s confession, completely caught off guard as you never expected him to say that. “I mean, the only reason I never said anything sooner is cause I was unsure if it was really the truth.” He continues, his smile growing wider when you fall shy from how flustered he’s making you, your gaze fixated on the floor and your hands fidgeting together as you fail to hide your smile.

“But I haven’t said if Chanhee was telling the truth or not.” You play coy when Haknyeon tilts your chin up gently so you meet his fond gaze. You wanted to come off all blasé and cool, but your game is given away when Haknyeon hears your breath hitch from realising the close proximity between your faces.

“Is that so?” He lightheartedly jokes, not phased in the slightest by your statement; the fact your face is a bright red gives everything away.

By this point you’ve lost the ability to respond, so focused on the way he gazes at you with such intense affection. You’ve been rendered speechless.

“Maybe...” you whisper, breaking out into a smirk to reciprocate Haknyeon’s.

“Well then, I guess that means you won’t want me to kiss you.” He pulls away, throwing his head back in laughter when you protest, your hands clinging onto his arms to keep him close.

“I never said that.” You pout, giggling when Haknyeon draws you in close and connects his lips with yours.

~

“So, when are you gonna tell Chanhee that you’re not mad at him anymore?” Haknyeon leans in next to you discretely.

“I know I should, but this is kinda fun.” You chuckle back, regaining your composure and hiding your amused expression when Chanhee bursts into the room.

“Ok, I’ve got your favourite drinks and snacks here. I even had to go to three different places to find the right flavour of chips, so please can you forgive me. I promise to never spill any of your secrets ever again!” Chanhee hurriedly lays everything out on the table in front of you while pleading for you to stop ignoring him.

You share a knowing glance with Haknyeon before letting the grin you’ve been holding back grow on your face.

“You’re forgiven.” You beam. “But! If you ever blurt one of my secrets again there’ll be no second chance.” You caution, laughing when Chanhee rushes over to you and squashes you in the tightest embrace possible.

As he pulls away from the hug he notices your hand interlaced with Haknyeon’s, sending you a sly look and you instantly clock onto the fact he’s noticed.

“You know, I think I’m gonna take some of these snacks for myself as a thank you... cause you know, without me you would have never confessed.” Chanhee cheekily smirks, slowly backing towards the table before quickly snatching away some of the food and rushing out of the room.

[enchanted--realm]

When Calls the Heart Live Ramples

Season 8 episode 9 Pre Wedding Jitters

That scene in 👏Nathan's 👏office👏 The lines they wrote for Kevin *chef's kiss* perfection. I mean, I still dont like this whole secret reveal thing. I think it's so dumb. Like, ain't no way the writers intended Nathan to have this secret when he first came to the show. I don't think he was suppose to have any secret at all. I mean, this whole, 'There's something he's not telling me' thing came out of nowhere. That aside, the love confession was great, again, and he left Elizabeth speechless again and she ran away, AGAIN. That tells me all I need to know. She cannot deny this man BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM. And if y'all think otherwise than you're delusional.

The game at the bachelorette party. It was obvious from the promo for this episode how this would play out. She reaches for Nathan's hands and thinks he's the one. (I was predicting that she would know it was Nathan and then feel uncomfortable and move on, but that didnt happen. She thought he was Lucas *bleh. Though I was still right in thinking Nathan would be 'the one' during this little game). We like that. I really liked how the party scene lasted longer than I expected. It wasnt even too long of a scene, but it was definitely long for When Calls the Heart. This show really needs to work on it's pacing. Everything happens so fast bc they have to cut to the millions of side plots that happen in every episode. My gosh, would they give us some focus please.

When Lucas came by Elizabeth's house in the morning I enjoyed that they interacted more casually with each other it seemed, at least it did on Elizabeth's part. Just through small details like the way she was casually leaning in the doorframe or her tone of voice. She wasnt so awkwardly polite...but Lucas still was. Lucas is so polite it's uncomfortable. Like I don't feel like anybody could just be themselves around him, bc it's like every meeting has this awkward air of being polite to an acquaintance you dont know well. Ugh it's so weird. I didnt like that Elizabeth told him Nathan's reveal. I feel she should have kept that to herself. Ugh and then Lucas wanted to act all protective and 'talk' to Nathan. Oh please. That is not his place. Elizabeth is obviously the one who needs to talk with Nathan and it's no one else's business what goes in between them, besides Allie of course. And speaking of Allie, I thought her scenes were really good and thoughtful. I still think it was weird that Lucas got her a gift for her adoption ceremony, but whatever we are past that now. I like that her character is being more mature about everything too. I really hope we get a scene where Allie and Elizabeth have their own conversation though. They need it. I'm not sure how I feel about that obvious Paul (Florence's son) having a crush on Allie. It seems that the writers will want them to like each other. I guess it could be cute? It's just a little awkward bc we havent seen this Paul kid around before so it creates a weird air that the only reason he shows up now is to be a school crush for Allie. Eh. Jaeda was great though and I think she did her scenes well.

After Lucas and E talked, I think it's obvious to Lucas that Elizabeth has strong feelings for Nathan and that she's just running away from them. I mean, she told Lucas that when Nathan told her he loves her all she could do was say nothing and just leave. *holds out arms and stares with a 'well, there you have it' expression'* IT DOESNT GET ANY CLEARER THAN THAT. I wonder if the writers will make Lucas step down bc he cant be with someone who will never love him. Idk how Lucas will react honestly, Lucas's character is such a mystery to me I could never know what he would do in a situation that didnt involve setting up a perfectly romantic date or sweet talking someone with an annoyingly, unrealistic, perfectly understanding polite response.

Elizabeth was also super rude to the people she cares about in this episode. The way she talked to Rosemary. First, she didnt like hearing what Rosemary had to say, which implies that she may have been blaming Nathan for Jack's death. That is such a horrible thing to hold against someone. I mean I could understand why she would feel that way but just for a moment. I mean she should understand how completely wrong and irrational that thought process is and that she shouldnt blame Nathan. TWO, then she had the nerve to tell Rosemary something like 'why would you think that comment would help me right now'. Wow Elizabeth. Gee, maybe she's saying the truth and she's also your friend and just trying to talk things through and give her opinion as a way to help you through your difficult situation. God forbid she doesnt say the perfect thing that you needed to hear at that time, she can't read your mind. I thought that was incredibly rude. It hurt to see Rosemary hurt. And then later she told her that she should leave her house. *SCOFF* man, she was really hitting Rosemary hard this episode. If I were in Rosemary's shoes, yes I would be hurt, but I think I would mostly be understanding of what Elizabeth might be going through and not take anything personally. E's lucky that Rose is such a good friend. OH! What Rosemary told Nathan in the library! She totally implied with her little metaphor comparison that Nathan was making Elizabeth unhappy by getting in the way of true love, i.e. Lucas and Elizabeth. I-- wow! Everyone is against this man. I'm so glad that Nathan stands firm. I mean he knows that Elizabeth feels strongly for him based off her reactions to his honesty with her and how she never denies anything and just runs away. I mean, it's plain as day. Let's not forget the *speechless gaze into each other's eyes* 'I can't' from Honestly, Elizabeth.

I think that's it regarding the love triangle. I absolutely despise the Faith and Carson relationship. And I cant believe they made him say, come with me to Baltimore and we can see in a year if we want to get married. That is so dumb. He just asked Faith to drop everything and leave her life in Hope Valley for a 'I might break up with you in a year' situation. Dumb. This is definitely out of character for Carson. It's obvious the writers are just trying to get rid of him and make him not be missed by the audience. They clearly want us to favor Faith, but she couldnt be more annoying honestly. I wish she were leaving and Carson would stay in Hope Valley. But whatever.

I dont like how every side plot seems to be about some couple's budding relationship. I mean aside from the love triangle, we have Florence and Ned, Molly and Bill, Clara and Jesse (though not a budding relationship, it's still all about their relationship) and now Rachel and Christopher and oh yes also Fiona and whoever that guy is and wow I'm still missing Faith and Carson. Thats 6 other romantic relationships in the show (not including the also important one of Rosemary and Lee) and I'm probably leaving one out. Oh yes, now possibly Allie and Paul. 7. Seven relationship side plots!!! Omg I'm going crazy!! They need to learn how to write some actual plot! What happened to town problems and family drama! Thank goodness we have Henry Gowen and his son (cant believe I just complimented that out of nowhere concept but hey) and the oil thing with Lucas and Henry, barely ever a plot line. This show needs better writing. There's no glue holding the town together and even when there is, it's so small or happens so fast that it doesnt have any long lasting and meaningful affect.

If I weren't so invested in Elizabeth's plotline and in need of some wholesome tv, I would have stopped watching a long time ago. Oh and the last thing. The mention of Abigail. I'm so glad Henry mentioned her because she was very important to him and his character growth. His character arc is one of the saving graces of the show and it needs to be given more attention.

Okay in short, Elizabeth was hecka rude, Nathan is wonderful and so was that office scene. We also stan Allie. Next week's episode also looks like a dud and I dont think much will happen.

[justanotherwriter-fangirl]

Were You Jealous? (C. R.)

Words: 2,667 words

Warnings: Nope

Request: Can you do a fluffy Connor Rhodes x reader where Connor gets jealous?

A/N: Hi!!! I’m sorry it took me so long but it’s finally here! I hope it is kinda like what you have in mind and I did justice to your request. 

Gif obtained from Google. All credits to its owner.

Thanks for reading

_______________________

To say you were nervous was an understatement, this was the first time you would present your boyfriend Connor to your family, the Intelligence Unit. Technically they had already met him before in any of the several occasions any of you had ended up at the hospital or you had gone there because of a case but now it was official, they were going to met Connor as your boyfriend, not as the cardiothoracic surgeon of the Med. 

You had planned everything, hosting a little reunion at your place for them to get to know eachother better taking the opportunity to make sure every little detail was  perfectly executed.

It was saturday night and everything was almost ready, the guys were bringing all the ingredients necessary for the barbeque and your fridge was stock with beer enough for a small town, a playlist with your favorite songs was playing on the background and the backyard was ready to welcome your guests, the grill, table, chairs and fairy lights all in position.

You were about to start biting at your nails when the doorbell stopped you, making you release the breath you were holding on.

When you opened the door you saw all your friend there at the door, Kevin, Jay and Adam carrying some heavy looking groceries bags with the girls and Hank trailing behind them. You welcomed each with a kiss on the cheek and a hug happy to spend some time with them all outside the precinct.

“I’m so glad you see you guys” you said leading them to the backyard to start prepping dinner.

“You just saw us yesterday, needy” laughed Adam putting his left arm over your shoulders once he had settled the bags at the table. He was your partner and your best friend, making you feel comfortable in the unit since the first minute you were a part of the team.

“I know but this is different, we get to spend time together without worrying about gang members or being shot or eating crappy food at stake outs”

“She has a point, Ruzek” said Hank starting the fire to prepare the steaks, Kim and Hailey already taking charge of the salad and Jay and Kevin coming from the inside of the house with beers enough for everyone, making you feel like Voight had given them their tasks before they all arrived, not much different from how it worked in the unit.

“Hey, make yourself at home guys, my beer is your beer” you said with a little of sarcasm, laughing at Jay and his childish reaction, him giving you a beer and showing you his tongue before going to stand next to Hank to hand him one too.

You had joined the unit around a year ago, you were new in Chicago and didn’t have anyone, your family had died in a car accident when you were young, so when you entered the precinct the first time and got to know them soon they became your family, always there for you through thick and thin, no matter what.

That was the main reason why this was so important to you, you had fallen in love with Connor and the only thing that could make it all perfect was having him getting along with your family.

The conversation was light and funny, Adam making you laugh until your cheeks and belly hurt when suddenly the doorbell rang.

“Ohhhhh, he’s here” Adam said throwing Jay a look of mischief.

“Adam, behave…” you warned him before going to open the door.

“Ready to scare him a little bit?” asked Adam to the rest of the guys once you were out of earshot.

“I’m so in” said Jay crossing his arms over his chest to make the muscles pop, all the guys wanting to look threatening, you were like their little sister after all and whoever was dating you had to be approved by them first.

“Hey beautiful” said Connor once you opened up the door handing you some flowers and kissing you on the lips lightly, the detail making you blush, all being like those cliché romantic movies when the main character brings flowers and scotch for her girl’s parents.

“Hey babe” you said, a big goofy smile on your face, he made you feel like a teenager sometimes. “You didn’t have to bother” you added receiving the flowers and taking his hand to lead him to the kitchen looking for a vessel.

“It wasn’t” he mentioned making you stop and taking your face in his hands leaning down to kiss you for a moment. You didn’t want to step back but your breathing was going faster and you were well aware of the people on your backyard that was waiting for you to come back so you quickly turn around to put the flowers in some water and led him to the backyard. 

“Hey, everything will be alright, don’t be nervous” he added a couple steps before reaching the door and gave your hand a light squeeze.

“Hey guys, Connor is here” you said not letting go of his hand.

"So, Connor…" Adam started taking a step forward, all very serious suddenly "First of all I think you need to answer some questions, like what are your intentions with (Y/N)?" 

"Adam, leave him alone"

"I'm just asking" he said raising his hands faking innocence "I mean, if he wants to last as your boyfriend he kinda needs our approval" he added earning a nod from all the guys.

"Adam… cut it out" you warned him. 

For a moment everyone just stood their ground making you feel really uncomfortable, the silence deafening and the tension so thick you could almost cut it with a knife. 

"Alright, that's enough guys" finally Hailey said taking a step forward and shaking hands with Connor "It’s good to see you, Connor, and, by the way, don't let the guys scare you, you have nothing to worry about"

"Sure, except for the fact that all of them go around town carrying a gun" Connor joked making the mood so much lighter.  "Also, just so you know, I'm here for the long run, not planning on ruin it" he finished showing them his award winning smile, the one that made you fall for him in the first place. 

"Well, with that being said, welcome Connor, we’re already prepping the barbecue" Hank said shaking his hand too, the rest of the team following him. 

"We'll still be watching you though" Jay said when it was his turn, winking at you before stepping back so Kevin could take his place. 

After that everything just felt natural, Connor was so charming and he got along well with everyone almost immediately, having already talked with them a few times at Molly’s after work sometimes. 

“I told you to behave” you said to Adam after half an hour once you were alone, him going with you to get some more beer for everyone outside. 

“Yeah… I’m not sure that’s what you said” he replied taking a moment to pretend he was thinking about it “I remember it all different”

“Aha, of course you do, I told you this is important, that he is important" it took Adam a second to realize you weren't playing with him anymore and your mood had change but when he did realized it he put the beer down over the counter and wrapped you in his arms sweetly. 

"Hey, it's okay, I was just messing with you but I'll stop"

"It's just…" you started, wrapping your arms around him too and taking in the comfort he provide you, his scent so familiar that helped you to voice your worries. "I'm afraid this will be too much for him, that I'll be too much for him, you know? That one day he's going to wake up and realize that me, my crazy life and my very dangerous job it's too much for him and he is tired of it all or he’s just not made for it"

"Hey, look at me" he said taking your chin and gently lifting your face to look you in the eyes to make sure you would listen to him "If he ever does that then he's not as smart as you say he is because there is no way a smart man would ever let you go, (Y/N) you are an amazing woman, pretty, smart, funny, you have it all and if he is blind to it then he doesn't deserves you. You are like our little sister, just say the words and we can take care of him" he added trying to make you laugh, it worked. 

"Thanks, Adam, for everything. I don't know what I would do without"

"Crash and burn, baby, crash and burn" he said letting you go and shrugging, a big smile on his face, he really knew you well and knew how to reassure you, your mood lighting and making you go back to your happy nature. 

"You wish" you said turning around and sending him a wink over your shoulder, your playful relationship showing "And by the way, don't think I didn't hear you earlier, trying to tell Connor that time I slip in the van when we were in surveillance and I poured my drink all over me, stop embarrassing me because I'll deny it all"

“We’ll see about that”

What neither of you saw was the look on Connor’s face when he entered with the intention to ask you for some plates and found you that close in the kitchen, jealousy pumping through his veins immediately.

He knew you were partners but that didn’t change the fact that he knew of Adam’s reputation and his various relationships with his coworkers, Kim and Hailey being a proof of that, and it was something that made him feel slightly uncomfortable but he never dared to told you.

Trying to stay calm he retreated back to the backyard hoping the fresh air would help.

"Man, I think you forgot something?"

"What?" Connor said distracted to Kevin. 

"The plates?"

"Oh, right, sorry, I'll go for them" he said finally remembering why he was going inside in the first place just as you and Adam stood outside. 

"Hey babe, everything's fine?" you said laughing a little bit, your hand resting on his arm as you looked at his lost expression. 

"Yes, I just forgot the plates" he said before grabbing your waist and kiss you, it was intense and full of emotion but it ended way to fast for your liking, Connor going back inside for the plates ignoring the whistles and jokes from the guys.

The rest of the day seemed to go okay to everyone but you, everything had been going fine until that kiss he gave you but after that you realized Connor was avoiding you, barely spending any time with you and always going to talk with someone else whenever you came close to him, trying to avoid your touch as if you were toxic or something like that. 

You were seriously frustrated and a little bit hurt, what was his problem? You hadn't done anything but tried to make him feel welcome and part of your world and all he had ever done was make you feel confused and dizzy, kissing you one second and then ignoring you for the day. 

You really wanted to talk to him but also you didn't want to let anyone else know what was happening, that was only between the two of you. 

Deciding to let it slip until everyone was gone you tried to genuinely have a good time with your friends and enjoy all the food, even participating in a nerf gun fight with Adam against Kevin and Kim, which you will always say it ended up in a tie. 

Finally, after couple more hours Adam and Jay were the last ones leaving, both giving you a big hug before heading toward their respective cars parked across the street, leaving you alone with Connor, who was already putting all the trash in big black bag. 

"That's it, they're all gone" you said casually pouring the leftover salad in a tupperware. 

"Yeah, had a nice day, they're all great" he added without looking at you. 

"Okay, just…" you started letting a sigh escape your lips "what's going on with you today? You've been distant all day, you don't even look me in the eye and every time I've tried to touch you just pushed me away which makes no sense since you were the one who got all intense and kissed me"

You could see the doubt and a ray of various emotions going through his features, debating whether to tell you or not the truth until he couldn't keep up his façade anymore and put everything down to sit in a chair, visibly tired now. 

"You're right. sorry… it's stupid really but it has been bothering me the whole day and it’s not even your fault" he said looking at his hands, shame and guilt in his expression.

"Hey, if something it's bothering you it's definitely not stupid" you said standing in front of him and taking one of his hands, your other hand resting in his cheek to make sure he was  looking at you. “Whatever it is, we can work it out but you need to talk to me, babe, I can’t read your mind”

“Okay, you’re probably going to laugh at me already so I’ll just tell you” he said running a hand through his hair “Earlier when I came inside to get the plates I saw you with Adam…”

You looked at him, furrowing your brows in confusion waiting for him to continue but he didn’t, he just stayed there looking at you.

“And…”

“And you were hugging and standing really close”

“Yeah, so?” you said still confused, your brain going like crazy trying to find the connection between everything until finally a second later a smile appeared on your face and everything turned crystal clear. “Wait, were you - were you jealous, Connor? Of Adam?” you tried to hold it back but a little laugh did came out from your mouth.

“I guess I was, a little bit. It’s just I’m the one suppose to hold you like that, not him and also I’ve heard all about his reputation, he really does have a special liking for his coworkers”

“Babe…” you said now relax, this wasn’t nearly as bad as you thought “I promise you, Adam and I, that will never happen, he’s just my partner”

“That isn’t entirely truth besides you are all the time together, I just can’t help it”

“Ok, maybe you’re right, I do love him but only as an annoying brother, the same way I love Kevin and Jay and it’s not much different from the way I love Kim and Hailey either, you know they’re my family”

“I know but seeing you so happy with him and smiling and playing and hugging just annoyed me, I want all those things for you but I want you to do them with me”

“I already do them with you and I intend to keep doing them until we’re old and gray, I think I already told you this before but I’m going to repeat it so you won’t forget it, you’re stuck with me, I’m not planning on going anywhere if is not with you”

“Did I already told you that I love you?”

“Hmmm… maybe once or twice” you said faking to think about it

“Well I do, a lot” he said standing up and wrapping his arms around your middle “and I’d be lost without you, always making me feel better and supporting me”

And for the second time that day he kissed you passionately, your arms going to his neck this time and pushing yourself against him, not leaving any space between you two.

_______________________

Masterlist

[anna-justice]

When The Party’s Over - Upstead

Summary: It’s New Years Eve and Jay isn’t a big fan of  Hailey’s boyfriend. (Booth vs. Hailey college addition)

Warnings: Physical/Mentioned sexual abuse, swearing…

Requested: No

...

“I think red is your color.” Kim says as Hailey pulls down the hem of the piece of fabric she’s wearing. Hailey shifts uncomfortably in front of the mirror as she looks to Vanessa, who is hiding her laughter with a pillow. “You have to wear that dress, you look amazing.” 

Hailey turns to her side and scoffs at the sight of her barely covered behind. “Kim, I’m not sure that this counts as a dress.” Kim frowns, sighing as she turns to search for the perfect dress for Hailey. 

“I don’t know Hailes, Rony would sure love to see you in it.” Vanessa says.

Hailey throws the now discarded dress at her from across the room, slipping into the next one from Kim. “I’m not sure I care what Rony thinks.” She smooths out the shimmery, dark blue material. “I do know that I like this.” She states, changing the subject. 

“So you are still going to break up with him then?” Kim asks, plopping down on the bed next to Vanessa. 

Hailey pulls her hair over her shoulder and gives herself a once over in the mirror. “Yeah.” She turns back to her friends, “The feelings have faded, I can’t pretend there is something there anymore.” 

“Good for you then.” Vanessa says, jumping up. The girls get themselves together, putting on their shoes and fixing any blemishes. Hailey’s phone buzzes and she smiles down at it. 

Jay: We still on for breakfast tomorrow? 

Hailey quickly types back a reply, but her grin did not go unnoticed. “Jay?” Kim asks, raising an eyebrow. She nods, sticking her phone is her clutch. 

Vanessa sighs, “I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees you tonight.” Kim giggles as Hailey swats at Vanessa’s arm. 

Jay had been Hailey’s best friend for years. They met the first day of classes their freshman year, Hailey a Criminal Justice major and Jay still undeclared. They clicked right away. It’s actually how she met Kim, she began dating Jay’s friend Adam and they quickly became friends. Then she met Kevin, who pledged the same frat as Jay and Adam. Vanessa was the last to be added, she met Hailey in Constitutional Law. Hailey loved her friends like family, because they were. That was something they all had in common, they each had a reason for needing the others. And even though Hailey had the most amazing friend group anyone could ask for, none of them were Jay. 

It had always been a running joke between girls that Jay had feelings for Hailey. She of course always dismissed them, especially when she began dating Rony around eight months ago. But to Kim and Vanessa, he only added more fuel to the fire. He and Jay couldn’t stand each other, which was part of the reason that Hailey was ending things, even though she would never admit that to anybody. Hailey hadn’t told Jay that she was planning on breaking up with Rony, and she really wasn’t sure why. She told herself it was because she didn’t want to be influenced by his obvious opinion, but she was even without talking to him about it. 

“Alright, let’s go.” Vanessa says, pulling the door to her and Hailey’s shared apartment open. Hailey grabbed her clutch off her bed and followed them out the door, into the endless party that was Chicago. 

…

Jay grinned at his phone. 

Hailey <3 : For sure, I’ll be ready at 9.

He shoved his phone back in his pocket. He thought back to freshman year when their little tradition started. Hailey had gotten rejected at the annual Alpha Delt New Year’s party by the upperclassmen she was crushing on. She got so drunk that they didn’t even make it to midnight, and she rang in the new year vomiting in the bathroom of Jay’s quad dorm. Instead of letting her wallow the next morning, Jay insisted that they get up and get breakfast. After that they decided to get breakfast after every big party they attended together, especially New Years, as to not let the other one give into their hangover. 

“Man,” Adam says, pulling Jay out of his trance, “This is getting pathetic.” 

Jay collapsed on the couch behind him, pretending to be clueless about Adam’s dig. “What?” 

Adam tosses Jay a beer, “Just tell her already.” He takes a swig of his own, “This whole pining thing is not a good look for you.” 

Jay fakes offense, “Wow Adame, that hurts.” He touches his hand to his chest, Adam chuckles. “And I am not pining. I’m just...silently awaiting the day that she realizes she is in love with me.” Adam gives him a pointed look. “Okay, I’m pining, but what do you care?” 

“I hate seeing my best friend in pain.” Adam says, struggling to keep hold of his somber expression. Before Jay can respond, Adam’s phone dings. “That’s Kevin, we’re late. Come on.” Jay stands, grabbing his jacket and wallets and follows Adam out the door. 

...

Hailey walked in the already crowded frat house and immediately began her search for Rony. Part of her felt bad for ruining his night, but she knew that if she didn’t do it tonight, she never would. She even purposefully didn’t come with him, as to not have to pretend she was happy. The middle of a party was the perfect place, quick and painless, he would probably be drunk and she could easily fade into the crowd. 

After several minutes of wandering around the sea of wasted college students, she found her way back to her friends. Kim and Vanessa held questioning gazes as she approached, but Hailey shook her head. 

Jay noticed the exchange, the way he notices everything Hailey does. “Where’s Rony?” He shouts over the music.

Hailey just shrugs, “No clue.” Jay nods, knowing that his voice would betray him, it wouldn’t be the first time he said something stupid like “good” or “thank God.” 

Thankfully, everyone decides to move on, the clock continues the approach midnight and Hailey is very aware of Rony’s non-existence. She wasn’t upset, more angry. There was no feeling of sadness, she had no feelings for him, but it was odd that she had not seen him the entire night when he insisted that she come in the first place. She would have come anyway, but as of right now, she was present by his invitation. 

Hailey excused herself from the group, saying she was yet again, going to look for Rony. Jay watched her closely, seeing that she looked more aggravated than hurt as she walked away. Hailey made her way to the staircase, ascending slowly as she looked through the crowd below her. She ran over to her “It’s not you, it’s me,” speech in her head as she searched, wanting to get the damn thing over with already. 

Once at the top, she wandered from room to room, finding most of them locked. Smart boys. She thought. When she reached a door that was not locked, she swung it open to reveal a shirtless Rony on top of a girl with very little clothing on. “What the hell Rony?” She yelled, and his head whipped around. 

His eyes looked panicked, “Hailey, baby, it’s not what it looks like.”

Hailey scoffs as the girl slides out from under him, grabbing her abandoned clothes and running for the door. “Wow, what a line. Got anything better?” She spit. 

Rony rushed past her and shut the door, turning to look at her. “I’m so sorry, I lo-”

“We’re done Rony.” 

Hailey attempted to walk around him but he grabbed her arm, “No, please, let’s talk.”

His grip tightened. “Rony that hurts,” she said, ripping her hand away, but he still wouldn’t let her past him. “I was going to end it anyway, there is nothing to ‘talk’ about.” 

“When I say we’re going to talk, we are going to talk.” Hailey was shocked, Rony’s temper had always been bad, but this was a side of him she had never seen. He backed her across the room until her exposed back hit the cold dresser. “You know, you look amazing tonight.” He said, placing his hand on her hip.

Hailey sucked in a breath, “Let me go Rony.” He dug his fingers into her side and Hailey gasped in pain. 

He pressed his weight into her, she was pinned against the dresser, he smiled and brought his face down to hers. “No.” Hailey thrashed, trying to get out of his grip, she tried to scream, but he delivered a harsh blow to her cheek. “Shut up.” She continued to wiggle around, her shouts muffled under his large hand. He grabbed her tight by her arms and slammed her harm against the wall, her head ricocheting off it. 

She tried to call out again, but her head was spinning. She could smell the alcohol on his breath as he attached his lips to her neck. Hailey tried to push him off her, but he punched her square in the jaw, sending her flying into the dresser beside her before hitting the ground. She kicked and squirmed as he climbed on top of her, Rony responded by hitting her over and over again. He pressed his leg between her knees to separate them, it was then she began to cry, she felt so helpless, she had no strength left. “Rony, please, don’t…” He pushed her hand over her mouth once more, muffling her final scream. 

Jay kept his eyes trained on the staircase as soon as she disappeared, which he realized was a while ago. Part of him wanted to go find her, but he knew she was probably with Rony somewhere, doing something he didn’t want to see. Jay shuddered at the thought, the possibility itself making him want to punch a wall. 

Finally his curiosity got the best of him, he made his way to the stairs, not bothering to give an explanation to any of his friends. He had a bad feeling, and when it came to Hailey, that was all he needed. 

When he made it to the stairs, he discovered the same thing as Hailey did: locked door after locked door. When he reached the end of the hallway, he heard the sound of muffled screams. Jay threw the door open to find a bloody Hailey with her dress hitched up over her hips underneath Rony. He saw red, he ripped Rony off of her and slammed him into the wall. 

Hailey wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, she could barely see through her teary eyes, but she recognized Jay, who was using Rony as a punching bag. Hailey backed herself up against the opposite wall, trying to slow her breathing, but she couldn’t, she needed him. “Jay…” She whimpered. 

That was all it took to pull Jay out of his rage, he was immediately at her side. He wrapped his arms around her and Hailey held on for dear life. He ran his fingers through her hair as she cried. He had absolutely no idea what to do, he knew he wanted to kill Rony, but that was it. 

Hailey gripped him harder, “He-He was going to,” She said, hiccuping. 

“Shhh, I know.” He said, his heart clenching in his chest. He held her tighter, if that was even possible. “I know.” 

The two sat there for what felt like hours, Jay trying to calm Hailey, which was proving to be ineffective. Some time later, the rest of their friends began to look for them. Adam was the first to find them. He spotted the blood on the carpet, and then on the wall. “What the-Jay?” He yelled, “Holy shit, what happened?” He knelt down next to him. 

Not long after, Kim came running in, “Hailey!” She looked over Hailey, who was now drifting in and out of consciousness. “We need to get her to the hospital now.” Adam nodded and called 911, Jay also told him to call the police, because he was making sure that Rony was going down, for some reason or another. 

The ambulance ride was agonizingly slow, Jay found himself waiting in the ER for hours for an update. A doctor finally came to tell him that she was fine, they suspected bleeding in her brain, but all her scans came back clean. Jay followed him to her room, finding her awake when he got there. “Hailes,” He said, rushing to her side. 

“Hi,” She said sheepishly as he took her hand. 

Jay searched her face, the bruising leaving evidence of the terrible event. “How are you?” 

“Thankful.” She said quickly, “Thank you...For pulling him off me, if you hadn’t-”

Jay saw her eyes fill with tears, “I know, I know.” 

Hailey nodded, “So I guess we are going to have to raincheck on breakfast.” 

Jay chuckled and Hailey cracked a slight smile. Hailey was able to check out the next morning, Jay drove her home, because he sat with her the whole night. Hailey thought back to her conversation with Vanessa earlier that night…

“I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees you tonight.” Vanessa said.

Hailey stared at Jay, finally seeing what everyone else saw. He had saved her, stayed with her, comforted her. He was like a knight in shining armor. Her gaze met her favorite set of green eyes and in that moment, Hailey Upton knew she was falling for Jay Halstead.

...

A/N: Part 2?

[forestwater87]

Every episode of Camp Camp ranked: A very (non)objective list

It's well past the time of year when Season 5 of Camp Camp would've dropped. I fully understand and support it not coming out; the crew's health and safety are much more important than a comfort show.

However . . . man, would it be nice to have some comfort right now.

So I'm reliving the entire series! I've been known to share with the world a whole bunch of Spicy Hot Takes, but I've never really sat down and talked about my feelings about the show as a whole. 

And what's the best way to do that? Well, just ask Jenny Nicholson: a numbered list! That is, here's the series ranked from worst episode to best, because I want to get the negativity out of the way early and focus on everything I love (and because people enjoy complaining, so let’s frontload all that). 

The takes will be hot. The feelings will be intense. The post, I'm assuming, will be largely unread.

Let's do it!

Oh and duh, there are spoilers. I tried to keep it pretty chill, but you’ll want to have watched the whole show or just not care about spoilers before going forward.

Also slashes in the middle of “naughty words” are meant to prevent this from being kept out of the main tags. Who knows if it’ll work? I don’t.

60. Who Peed the Lake? (Season 4, epis/sode 3)

Ah, good ol' Pi/ss Lake (or as @hopefullypessimistic84​ calls it because she's funnier than any of us will ever be, “Pis/s Fe/tish Dot Com”). Terrible, one of the few I’d consider nigh unwatchable. I actually kind of love this episode for being such great shorthand for "the absolute worst one."

Who signed off on an entire episode centered around Sherlock Holmes meets a bad om/o joke? Give me names and addresses: I just want to talk.

59. Reigny Day (Season 1, episode 6)

And nobody was surprised.

I'll admit I'm more willing to defend this episode than many people, but it's not . . . like, good. It seemed okay when there were only 11 other episodes to compare it to, but now that there have been so many bangers, this comes across as extremely weak. 

And let’s just say the Na/zi jokes hit a lot differently in 2020 than they did in the summer of 2016.

I’m overall happy with the direction the showrunners have moved Dolph’s character in, and I can’t totally blame them for using a kind of humor that was fairly common in the pre-Trump era, but yikes, this has aged like milk. And it wasn’t even very funny at the time, so it aged like milk that was already pretty bad to begin with.

58. Squirrel Camp (Season 4, episode 10)

This is a dumb one.

Not much else to say; it’s just kinda stupid and lame.

57. Fashion Victims (Season 4, episode 13)

I love Sasha, but this is filler. Which isn’t in itself a bad thing -- I have a couple episodes near the top that could reasonably be called filler, and a valid argument could easily be made that “filler episodes” don’t actually exist in a show with no plot -- but as much as I adore the Flower Scouts and enjoy the handful of good moments we get in this episode . . . who cares? Does anyone really give a sh/it about anything that happens here? Does anyone get their life from this one?

I didn’t think so.

56. Foreign Exchange Campers (Season 3, episode 3)

I know, I know, your Russian waifu came from this episode. Why do you think it’s so low on this list?

Okay, for real: this is . . . fine. It’s fine. It’s fine? I’m not mad at it, it just feels tonally incongruous and not very memorable beyond the fact that the fandom got really weird and kinda gross about Vera. But the episode itself? There’s some cute stuff with Neil and Nikki being jealous, but for the most part it’s a big hunk of white bread with some super mild white cheese that’s kinda soggy from sitting in a bag for too long and getting all condensation-y. 

That is to say: it’s fine.

ETA: Space Kid does say “fu/ck.” I can’t decide if that’s a point in the episode’s favor or against it.

This is the last of what I’d call the “bad” episodes. Everything after this ranges from mediocre to mind-blowingly amazing. But whatever our failing tier of Camp Camp episodes is, it stops right about here. 

Onto the good stuff!

55. Night of the Living Ill (Season 2 Halloween episode)

I keep switching this with “Eggs Benefits,” which probably means they should be tied. But whatever, this is my list and I am in charge and I’ve finally decided, after like 5 changes, that I like this one a little bit less.

It’s a fun Romero parody with nothing I’d call bad. Really this one’s only so low on the list because I think it’s kinda icky, and looking at those green snotty faces makes me queasy. If you think this is a bad reason to put it near the bottom of the list, then make your own post.

54. Cameron Campbell Can't Handle the Truth Serum (Season 4, episode 11)

I . . . don’t remember this at all. I initially had it a bit higher because I tend to love things with Campbell in them, but then I realized that nothing about this episode stuck in my brain even a little bit. 

Oh, this is the “Dolph has autism” episode that made everyone either extremely happy or really mad? Okay. I guess that’s the most remarkable thing about it. Neato.

Cam, I love you, but this was just not the best use of your sleazy charm.

53. Eggs Benefits (Season 2, episode 9)

This is one of those episodes with enough cute moments and good ideas to save it from being totally unmemorable, and I mostly enjoy rewatching. Platypus being a mom is a fabulous idea, and pairing the campers the way they did was mostly really interesting and fun.

The Preston-Nurf stuff takes it down several pretty significant notches, though. It’s what the kids would call problematic, and while I normally enjoy how the show doesn’t skew away from darker themes and jokes, it didn’t really fit either of their characters and just . . . isn’t fun to watch. It’s not especially funny, it’s not especially tragic, it’s just uncomfortable.

52. Camp Campbell Wants YOU! (Season 1, episode 0)

Honestly, this would be a lot higher if it was a full-length episode. It’s funny.

The next 5 or so episodes fall under the “cute but not very memorable” umbrella:

51. Nikki's Last Day on Earth (Season 3, episode 4)

I love the ensemble episodes, so this was always going to score higher than any of the single-character “meh” eps. I didn’t see the twist coming, though I know a lot of other fans did. Textbook example of “cute but not very memorable” -- the Platonic ideal of that concept.

50. The Candy Kingpin (Season 3, episode 9)

A clever idea that plays on Max’s worst characteristics and then calls him out for them, while also giving Dolph some much-needed character development. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like it really picks up until the last third of the episode, leaving the rest just kind of sitting there.

49. Campfire Tales (Season 4, episode 13)

Who doesn’t love campfire stories?

That’s all I got. They’re campfire stories.

ETA: OH SH/IT THIS ONE HAS THAT REALLY SCARY STORY! Where David’s all like . . . Slenderman’d. Fu/ck, I didn’t remember that until I was writing out my thoughts for #35 or so. That definitely elevates it, but I’m too tired to try and re-decide where this should go, so just tie it with “New Adventure!”

48. New Adventure! (Season 4, episode 4)

New trio! Focusing on these 3 was a definite risk, and I think it really paid off. While the “plot” itself isn’t anything special, there are a handful of really great side gags (hi, Dirty Kevin!!!!) and it’s fun to see these three interact. They all get some nice character beats. It’s a good time.

47. Something Fishy (Season 3, episode 8)

This might’ve hit me harder if I’d actually seen The Shape of Water, but the send-up works fine without having more than the seen-the-trailer level of understanding. Gwen dresses pretty, which I love; Max sucks, which I also love. What drags this one down is mostly feeling like the surreal aspects of the comedy go a bit too far into the “what the fu/ck am I looking at?” territory without really . . . making an actual joke beyond “look! Wacky!"

Why is David at the opera with a bird? Why??

46. City Survival (Season 3, episode 11)

Literally do not remember a single thing about this episode except David getting mugged and being called a “homeless twi/nk.” That should probably rank it lower on the list, but David being a fluttery mother hen saves it for me -- as does the fact that it leads directly into one of my favorite episodes, and the single best story arc of the series.

Next set of episodes is what I’m going to arbitrarily call “okay! but like the good kind of okay, not the bad kind.”

45. Bonjour Bonquisha (Season 2, episode 7)

Max and Sasha masterminding a scheme is really fun; their dynamic is great (though it won’t be fully realized until Season 4), and heartbroken David is so tragically cute it actually makes my heart explode out of my chest.

Also I can’t resist a good “3 kids in a trench coat” gag.

44. Anti-Social Network (Season 2, episode 2)

Neil is very relatable and I don’t have much else to say about this one. It’s fun to see an episode that more heavily focuses on our nerdy science boy, and Max and Neil teaming up to save Nikki was really charming and sweet and set my Makkiel ship out to sea.

43. A Camp Camp Christmas, or Whatever (Season 2 holiday episode)

Why does this episode have a musical number? It’s not good.

Okay, that was mean. This is fun and cute and Gwen wears a pretty purple sweatshirt and Space Kid gives her a present and it’s really sweet. But that musical number is an instant fast-forward for me, sorry.

42. Preston Goodplay's Good Play (Season 4, episode 7)

We get some Preston character development! Awesome!

It’s done in a really trippy and surreal way that totally fits his character and heightens the drama of the episode! Awesome!

David has an apparently-tragic history of being a French mime! Not a good call! 

Next tier: Some good sh/it! (Tbh, these could all be put in just about any order; they might as well be one massive tie.)

41. Cookin' Cookies (Season 2, episode 11)

I love the Flower Scouts. I love Dirty Kevin. I love the idea of accidentally starting a dru/g empire. Another weird, borderline experimental one focusing on side characters, and I think it works better than “New Adventure!” because the scale of the melodrama is just so over-the-top.

The fact that this is in the bottom 20 but I have nothing but good things to say about it illustrates how dang good this show is. It’s only getting better from here, folks!

40. Romeo & Juliet II: Love Resurrected (Season 1, episode 7)

Preston is a terrible playwright. This makes sense, because he’s like 11, but he’s the kind of hilariously bad I wish I’d been as a preteen, because his play is absolutely bonkers. Max fucking with David is great, Tabii vs. Bonquisha is great, Bonquisha in general is a giant amazonian goddess and I want to be swept up into her giant arms. Neil is . . . a robot, for some reason?

So much fun!

39. Camp Cool Kidz (Season 1, episode 4)

I don’t love Ered’s characterization in this one, but there are a lot of wacky hijinks in this episode that I think make it really enjoyable. Max’s wide-eyed revolutionary naïveté is a fun change from his usual dour pessimism, and Nikki’s loyalty to Ered is both very gay and very charming. Plus we get to learn a bit more about how the camp operates (and fails to operate), and it’s a nice way to better establish the campsite as its own setting.

(Definitely think “Cool” should’ve been spelled with a K though. But whatever, I don’t write for the show.)

38. Scout's Dishonor (Season 1, episode 3)

The birth of Neeancy! The introduction of the Flower and Wood Scouts! Neil saying “cu/nt” -- one of the first and only truly shocking uses of profanity in the entire show! ZUKO!

I don’t know if my fondness for this one is rooted mostly in nostalgia or if it was actually really fun, but I enjoyed the he/ll out of it. Not as highly-rated as some other episodes mostly because it doesn’t really do anything, character or story-wise, but not every episode needs to be a massive game-changer that drowns us in feels. Sometimes it’s enough to have a fun romp, and this is very that.

37. Ered Gets Her Cool Back (Season 3, episode 2)

Awww, Ered. I have a soft spot for her, because I love the archetype of a spoiled bit/ch clearly still figuring out how to be a person and have friends. You really get the sense of her as a teenager trying to sort her shi/t out in this episode, which I would love to see more of. Her interactions with Nerris are top-tier, and I like that it’s a continuation of how her character’s been softening since Season 1 into this kind of big-sister figure.

Also, all the female campers in this show are lesbians. I do not make the rules.

36. Attack of the Nurfs (Season 4, episode 2)

I feel like this is a pretty underrated episode. But then again, I feel like Nurf is a pretty underrated character, so maybe that’s just my own personal bias.

I really enjoyed all the different iterations of Nurf, and I think Blaine did a killer job giving each one its own personality and life. It’s a fun episode that plays hard with cartoon physics (a 3D printer printing people! I love it!) and has a surprisingly moving ending.

At least, that’s what I think. Most other people seem to find this one pretty forgettable. Again: make your own da/mn list. I liked it.

35. Mascot (Season 1, episode 2)

This entire episode is memorable for so many things, but a few of my favorites:

David is established as kind of a di/ck.

Platypus arrives and kicks all the as/s.

Quartermaster is the best.

Nerris, Harrison, and Space Kid all get little moments to show off how cute they are.

Neil and Nikki bonding.

This:

34. Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak (Season 2, episode 3)

I love watching Nerris and Harrison bicker, and Neil and Nikki fit really well into their group. It reminds me of being a kid, and of playing Dungeons & Dragons (as an adult, because I’m so cool), and of summer . . . which is a really good thing for this show. There are a lot of funny one-liners, and it’s just a good dang time.

33. Quartermaster Appreciation Day (Season 2, episode 6)

I don’t think this one is all that well-loved, but I thought it was funny. There are literally zero important plot or character moments, but it made me laugh a lot, and that’s all I need a Camp Camp episode to do. 

I love QM, and the more we learn about him, the more confused and disturbed we end up being. What a fu/cking champion.

32. Arrival of the Torso Takers (Season 3 Halloween episode)

I lowkey hated this one when it came out, because I knew the Daniel stans were going to be exhausting. And they kind of were? But looking back, it’s a great way to reintroduce this motherfu/cker. He’s a lot scarier than he was the last time around -- but also less competent, which is a great way to kick him in the proverbial ba/lls -- and while I wish it had a lot more Gwen in it, it’s a clever and creative Halloween episode. 

31. Operation: Charlie Tango Foxtrot (Season 3, episode 10)

Charlie . . . Tango . . . Foxtrot . . . CTF . . . OH! Capture the Flag! I never got that before. Oh, that’s neat. I love this show.

Listen, every time the writers decide to take a risk and do something bizarre and creative, I’m going to be here for it at least a little bit. An entire episode told from the POV of the Woodscouts, explaining how hard they failed in all directions? A great gag where everyone in Petrol’s story talks in grunts? The return of Jermy Fartz?! Fantastic. 

30. Panicked Room (Season 4, episode 16)

Listen. I’m a sucker for my trash grandpa; anything Campbell-centric is probably going to be pretty good (except #54), because he’s just one of the most consistently funny and engaging characters. Good times are had whenever this terrible man is on the screen, and giving him a romantic backstory? A tragic romantic backstory full of mistakes and emotional damage?? One where he waited 17 YEARS for the love of his life???

We have no choice but to stan.

29. Party Pooper (Season 4, episode 15)

I’m so predictable. If you put Gwen in something, I will be happy. If you make an entire episode about how Gwen is under-appreciated and overworked and just trying to do her best despite the circumstances, I will dedicate my firstborn child to you.

Anyway, this episode is really sweet, and I liked the unexpected direction the writers took her relationship with her dad. He seems like a nice guy, they seem like they have a nice relationship, and . . . well, an episode about how hard it is to be an adult millennial hit pretty hard. Plus this was just a really pretty episode -- and not just because Gwen was in so much of it! Seriously, that night sky was a thing of beauty.

Also if you say a fuc/king word about Max and that godda/mn dog I will choke you out with your own intestines. Few things are more hilariously, annoyingly ironic than the fact that the entire fandom ignored and failed to appreciate Gwen . . . in the episode all about how everyone ignores and fails to appreciate Gwen.

28. Culture Day (Season 3 holiday episode)

Now, would it be arrogant to point out that I had the idea for a Culture/Heritage Day back in September 2018? Yes, especially since I don’t think the writers ever read fanfiction and it has literally nothing to do with this episode. Will that stop me? He/ll no it will not! I am a creature of ego! Read my stuff! 

Anyway, this is a really fun look at Neil’s background, personality, and relationships. Max looking out for him is just . . . oh my god, I cannot, I’ve written like 30 of these and my brain is starting to melt, but these two are so cute. I love arrogant Neil, and I love protective Max, and I love QM and Gwen fuc/king over the Flower Scouts to save the day. Everything about this episode is lovely.

27. Cameron Campbell the Camp Campbell Camper (Season 3, episode 7)

This should not be ranked so high (even if these are all essentially tied). This is a dumb episode based on a really, really dumb premise. 

But . . . I don’t know what to tell you. “Samboy Kidwell,” Max realizing he and Campbell are disturbingly similar and not liking what his future could look like, David’s “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” face . . . this episode happens to hit all of my favorite things. It had a really good balance of heavy-handed moralizing and goofs, it was part of the most graceful lead-up into a finale the show has ever had, and I’m just all about it. 

Excellent job, Samboy. Count Olaf would be proud of your disguise.

There ends the “some good sh/it” tier. We’re starting to get into the really excellent stuff now!

26. Parents' Day (Season 2, episode 12)

I know. You want this to be higher. I hear you.

Honestly I’m kind of shocked it’s this high; it’s my least favorite of the season finales so far, and I had to push past a lot of prejudice to actually rank this where I think it deserves to be, as opposed to somewhere in the like mid-40s. Mostly because it gave fuel to the raging inferno of “Max has terrible parents and David should adopt him” headcanons, which I’ve detailed my problems with extensively in the past (in a post that, statistically speaking, none of you have read).

But, trying to be objective: is this episode actually any good?

Well . . . yeah, it really is.

So much work was put into giving each of the campers families that make sense with their characters and bounce absurdly well off of them, ranging from wholesome and adorable (Nerris’s family) to quietly tragic (Harrison’s parents), and they’re all designed so well; they’re fun to look at and fun to watch interact with the kids and each other. (The only exception is Dolph’s dad, who is both kinda lame and misattributes the cause of the weird Na/zi thing because it did not come from Germany, I assure you. But things with Dolph are always a little off, and I don’t really know how you would give him a backstory that actually works with the character, so they were caught between a rock and a hard place there.)

The drama of David having to choose between the man he considers his father and the camp he considers his home is really touching, and him and Gwen choosing to take a sad camper out to get pizza instead of covering for their boss’s a/ss is such a beautiful moment for both of them that I can’t really blame the fandom for losing their mind over it. Campbell’s arrest leading into the arcs of the next two seasons was great as well, and the finale left us all with this weird sense of foreboding because we didn’t know what was going to happen next; it was the only finale that actually ended on something close to a cliffhanger, while still being satisfying enough to keep us all from melting down.

Plus, it’s funny. Carl and Candy are really funny and the idea of Neil and Nikki’s parents boning is funny in a horrible way. The joke about Quartersister is funny. It’s a good episode.

Should this be higher? Maybe, but I can’t bring myself to put it above the rest of these episodes. Again: make your own list.

25. Mind Freakers (Season 1, episode 10)

The episode that launched a thousand ships. Assuming those ships are all Harrison/Neil, anyway.

It’s hard to talk about these Season 1 episodes because they feel so classic. Like, what is there to say? You’ve all seen it a couple dozen times; I’ve seen it a couple dozen times. Harrison is a di/ck, Neil is possibly an even bigger di/ck, and magic may or may not be real. (Though spoilers for literally every season: yes, magic is definitely real.) It’s so much fun watching these two smug as/sholes snipe at each other in an almost literal playground hair-pulling way that could very easily be read as flirtation. 

And the fandom did most certainly read it that way, at least for a little while.

24. Gwen Gets a Job (Season 2, episode 8)

It’s Gwen. What, was I supposed to not put it this high?

This was the first Gwen-centric episode, and it absolutely slaps. She’s pushed to the breaking point and responds by being a cold-hearted BAMF, and it got her some pretty significant hate from fans but I don’t give a fu/ck, I loved it. We got to see her all dolled up, and then we got to see her all disheveled, and both of those looks were gorgeous. David gives her a tiny fragment of the love and validation she deserves (I don’t know if this is when gwenvid started taking off -- I think it wasn’t really until “Parents’ Day,” or even Season 3 -- but I ate that s/hit up).

Also, again: job hunting post-2008. It’s a bad time, y’all. Camp Camp gets it.

23. Follow the Leader (Season 4, episode 6)

Yeah, I was kind of surprised at how high this landed, too. I guess I’m just a sucker for unlikely companionships, and these three have a great chemistry. The combination of competitiveness, sass, and reluctant admiration make their interactions a lot of fun. Their motivation of doing petty errands for Campbell for the sake of getting at the Box of Illegal Contraband is a great framework too, with high enough stakes to justify all sorts of wacky shenanigans without causing actual anxiety.

I want to see these characters forced to spend more time together. Please, RT, make that happen.

22. Escape from Camp Campbell (Season 1, episode 1)

In terms of numbers, this feels so low, but considering everything from about #45 on is ranked as at least decent, this is actually a pretty high rating. There are 21 episodes I’d call better than this, but these decisions were all pretty painful.

This introduces us to everyone! The main trio, the counselors, Mr. Campbell; we get a snapshot of the major personalities running around the camp, the major points of conflict (Max vs. David, primarily), the major building blocks of future episodes, setting, and relationships . . . 

Again, I don’t know how much of my love for this episode is nostalgia -- there’s a lot of squeeing at familiar faces and gags; this is the first time David gets hit by a bus!!! -- but it was a fun and funny introduction to a series that’s ended up being so important to me, and I’m so grateful this wonderful, quirky little show with its wonderful and quirky little premiere. 

Of all the episodes, I really can’t look at this one objectively. It’s too important.

21. The Fun-Raiser (Season 3, episode 1)

David and Gwen scheming is my ki/nk. They very rarely scheme together, but every single time their teamwork makes the dream work (or, more frequently, makes the dream fail horribly and have disastrous consequences) my soul flies out of my body and takes to the stars, where I write another 500 first chapters to gwenvid fanfics I’ll probably never finish.

This is a great follow-up to “Parents’ Day,” where we immediately see the consequences of the previous season finale and what happens when the one adult in the camp disappears. Mr. Campbell was a terrible adult, true, but at least he was smart enough not to steal QM’s hook. Like . . . whose plan was this? It was so bad. These two are hilariously incompetent sometimes -- often when their bad ideas are feeding off of each other, actually, a la this and “Space Camp Was a Hoax” -- and watching them frantically try and keep all their balls in the air is so great. 

The ending is satisfying, too; a bit graphic, in keeping with a show that tends to keep the violence limited to periodic spurts of bloodshed 1-2 times a season and mostly pretty mild the rest of the time, but between Max stepping up and fixing everything while still being his shi/tty self to our dear dumba/ss counselors getting their dumb as/ses handed to them (deservedly so, if we’re being honest) . . . it’s such a great note to begin a new season on.

20. Journey to Spooky Island (Season 1, episode 5)

A classic.

We get to meet our spooky boy Jasper, we get to watch the comedy trio play off each other and continue to sketch out the general contours of their friendship, and we get to see the Quartermaster with a big purple dil/do for a hand. What’s not to love?

19. The Butterfinger Effect (Season 4, episode 17)

CONTROVERSIAL HOT TAKES! GET YOUR CONTROVERSIAL HOT TAKES HERE!

I’ve already gone into some pretty intense detail about why I think this one is actually really good and carries the theme of embracing change that everything about Season 4 was centered around, but none of y’all read that so here it is in short: this episode is super funny, almost all of the campers’ transformations work really well as extensions of their characters while still being strange and surprising, and the fact that Nurf creates all of these problems by trying to solve them is deliciously fun to watch in a karmic sort of way.

Or maybe it’s just because any Nurf-centric episode is going to rank pretty highly for me. That is also possible.

18. Space Camp Was a Hoax (Season 2, episode 10)

Our camp counselors being bad people: it’s my drug of choice.

We get Space Kid tripping balls in what might be one of the funniest sequences in the show, the entire camp coming together to try and pull off the stupidest, most impossible task (and kinda maybe almost nailing it???), and once again the fun of watching Gwen and David scramble to keep from getting caught in their boss’s shit/ty lies is so great. And Lindsay’s voice acting is absolutely killer, even more so than usual. 

17. Jermy Fartz (Season 2, episode 4)

I get the sense this might be a somewhat controversial one. 

I’ve written before about why I think this episode is a lot of fun, but it mostly boils down to two things: watching the campers try (and fail) to be nice to the most bully-able person on the entire planet, and the essential likeableness of Jermy. 

No, really.

I think a lot of people were put off by Jermy’s general grossness, because . . . my god is he disgusting, but he’s also polite and good-natured, and seems totally self aware of how difficult he is to be around, without letting it make him depressed. He’s cheerful in a weirdly downbeat way that’s impossible to understand until you see him in action. He’s so matter-of-fact about his own awfulness in a way that I found entirely endearing. I don’t think I’d want him at my camp, either, but get that kid to a good dermatologist and gastroenterologist, teach him some basic hygiene and social skills, and you’ll have quite a little gentleman there.

I do however find it hilarious that apparently David got the type of tree wrong when making fun of Jermy. Not only is that a great moment for reveling in David being an as/shole, but he didn’t even have the right wood. F/ucking idiot. I love him so much.

These last ones are my favorites! (Well, duh, that’s how this whole ranking thing works.) Maybe not perfect, but just really good and with limitless rewatch value.

16. St. Campbell's Day (Season 4 holiday episode)

They Grinch’d Camp Camp. Those brilliant bast/ards, they really pulled it off.

Ignoring the fact that David is truly frightening-looking for most of the episode, this is a great bookend to Season 4, following up on the theme established in the first episode about how David is a flawed and selfish human being despite trying his best not to be.

This is another one I was surprised to find so high on the list, but the more I thought about it the more I realizes how good it is. David being a jerk is always one of my favorite storylines, and the fact that the trouble comes from him trusting Mr. Campbell too little instead of too much is a nice twist on the usual formula. Gwen coming to help him out despite a blistering hangover gave me aggressive shipping feels, yes, obviously. 

Between a lot of really funny little gags like QM’s failed satanic ritual and the genuinely touching moral about the importance of spending time with the people you love, it’s just a really lovely episode that gets just the right amount of maudlin for the holiday season. 

15. Jasper Dies at the End (Season 2, episode 5)

I kept switching this and “Dial M for Jasper”; it was a really difficult decision to make, figuring out where these two belonged. I think in the end, while the John Dies at the End reference was very, very good, this one loses me a little bit by being told from David’s perspective. Now, normally the more David is in an episode the more I’ll be likely to love it (see my #1 for proof of that), but his blinders when it comes to the camp and Mr. Campbell result in a really funny story, but one without the same emotional heft as hearing about what happened from Jasper’s point of view.

That doesn’t mean it’s not perfect for what it needs to be: each Jasper episode builds on the previous ones, and having the same intensity of “Dial M for Jasper,” where we learn how he died and how his relationship with David fell apart, would be weird and heavy at this point. In Season 1 we just found out he’s a ghost (and eagle-eyed viewers realized he’d been a camper with David); in Season 2 we find out how David views their friendship and time at camp; and in Season 3 we get Jasper’s perspective. It’s an absolutely wonderful raising of the stakes (for lack of a better term), but the one that packs more of an emotional punch is going to rank a bit higher than the one that’s mostly just for laughs.

That being said: there are plenty of laughs in this one. Everyone -- Griffin, Miles, Travis, the animators -- nailed this one, and it gets funnier every time I watch it.

14. Camporee (Season 1, episode 11)

AKA the episode where Forest realized she was in love with Gwen. 

What a great idea for an episode, seriously. Every coming-of-age story has a talent show or a competition or a big game -- something where the kiddos can show off their improved skills and teamwork to beat their bullies or whatever. And this show has both kinds of bullies: the popular girly girls and the violent muscleheads. What a great moment to pull everyone together and show how friendship can help us accomplish anything!

Except . . . of course that’s not what happens. Of course they’re absolute garbage, and of course teamwork isn’t the answer. Gwen is the perfect foil for David here, being the anti-teamwork, anti-Camp-Campbell adult who can perfectly and effortlessly undermine David’s relentless optimism. David wants so badly for his campers to live in the same coming-of-age summer movie he did as a child, and their staunch refusal to do that leads to a really heartbreaking closer to the episode, as well as lead into the next one. Everything about this, from the challenges to the setup to Gwen shouting “we are winning this FUC/KING trophy!” is just gold.

13. David Gets Hard (Season 1, episode 9)

We have David. We have Nurf. We have Gwen. We have Max trying to be helpful in the shi/ttiest way possible.

We have all the makings of a da/mn good episode. And they deliver. Not a very emotionally intense or moving one, but so, so funny.

12. Dial M for Jasper (Season 3, episode 5)

This isn’t the fate any of us expected for Jasper, and it’s not the fate of a lot of people wanted. But godda/mn it, it worked. The constant bait-and-switch the episode keeps playing with, where you keep waiting for something really dramatic and tragic to happen . . . and then the reality is that Jasper died because Mr. Campbell was stupid and careless, and it was all just a horribly sad accident.

It’s anticlimactic, but in a way that suits the series, both as a comedic counterpoint to all the hype throughout the episode and as a way to establish that Cameron Campbell is a bad man first and foremost through selfishness and laziness, not Daniel-esque sinister evil. Jasper’s death was totally avoidable and totally Campbell’s fault, and while that’s sad, it also adds a weird sort of lightness to the episode. David didn’t do something terrible to kill his best friend, Jasper didn’t kill himself, and without having actively chosen to murder a child (well, not this time), the door remains open for fans accepting Campbell’s later pseudo-redemption. It was just an accident, and Jasper was “haunting” David to tell him that he was sorry for how their friendship ended. That’s really sweet, actually.

I think it’s the best way this reveal could’ve gone, and I’m so impressed with how they pulled it all off.

11. Into Town (Season 1, episode 8)

This might actually be the only flawless episode in the entire show. I mean, I call a lot of them flawless, and I mean that on an emotional level -- “I love this so much I cannot see anything wrong with it” -- but this one is a masterpiece of storytelling. All the technical jumbo I’m bad at, like planting and payoff and tension and all of that, is just perfect.

I feel like this is the kind of claim that needs to be backed up with a long-as/s essay full of citations and video clips and references to, like, Joseph Campbell or something, but this is my 49th entry in the list so I am not going to be doing that. Besides, I don’t think my English degree qualifies me to critique film/animation; I don’t even entirely know half the terms I’ve used to compliment this episode. Someone else please explain why this is such a good one.

10. The Quarter-Moon Convergence (Season 4, episode 5)

I’ve mentioned in other entries that the weird, surreal humor sometimes doesn’t work; it feels too much like being odd for its own sake, and sometimes gets so distracted in being surreal that it forgets to include anything funny or meaningful. 

This . . . is not one of those.

Putting Harrison and QM together is a stroke of genius; the two of them are literally the most magical beings in the entire show, and using them as the conveyance for this great Lovecraftian horror-comedy was such a good idea. I don’t know if we’ll ever see these two interact in another episode -- honestly, this felt a bit like lightning in a bottle, and I have a hard time imagining what could possibly bring them together again -- but if this is the only episode we get, it is such a fantastic one.

Harrison makes a really good everyman, despite his powers; he’s just the right amount of confident and insecure to pull off that wide-eyed apprentice to QM’s grizzled wise mentor. (The fact that QM is objectively a terrible mentor is beside the point.) I still don’t entirely know what the two of them accomplished, but it feels baffling and momentous, with the perfect amount of gravity to make things extremely tense all the way through to the end.

Also, I guess God is an octopus? That’s kinda cool. I like octopuses.

9. Camp Corp. (Season 3, episode 12)

Another unpopular opinion? Oh ho ho, I am so contrary! I am Not Like Other Fans! I am the Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, refusing to have the same opinions of all you prepz.

I know this wasn’t the most well-loved episode, but I think it did a really great job tying together story threads woven throughout Season 3: Max’s selfishness leading to him hurting other people, his growing realization that he cares about his friends and the camp itself, the parallels between him and Mr. Campbell (and the fact that they both get this redemption moment in the finale). 

This is the most Max-centric season, focusing on his flaws and character growth, and they pulled it off in a really organic way that felt faithful to his character, touching without being too maudlin. The fact that his feelings about the camp are echoed in Gwen, Neil and Nikki, the other campers, and even Mr. Campbell drives home how important the camp -- and David -- are to this strange little family. 

Each season, Max reluctantly becomes a better person, without changing the fundamental core of who he is. That’s a really hard putt for the writers and Michael, and I’m blown away every finale by how they so consistently nail it.

8. Time Crapsules (Season 4, episode 18)

Gwen-centric? Check.

Max learning how to be a better person while still being the bratty kid we know and love? Check.

Looks at one of the most under-appreciated character dynamics in the entire show (i.e., Max and Gwen)? Checkity check-check-check.

I don’t really have much to say about this one, which I should: it was considered a pretty serious letdown to a lot of fans, and I’m not sure how to explain why I loved it so much. 

Comparing Max from “The Order of the Sparrow” to Max from this episode is wild. It’s not like 2 different characters: they’re still very obviously the same cynical, self-absorbed 10-year-old trying to survive summer camp. But he’s become a more considerate friend and decent version of that kid, and it’s great to watch. The moment where he and Gwen go too far and immediately regret snapping at each other is still painful (on my god, the VAs in this show, they’re so talented), Nikki and Neil both get nice subplots about how they’re also growing up, and the ending is fuc/king hilarious, perfectly breaking the tension from Campbell’s speech, which is both beautifully done and important to hear, especially if you’re in a period of uncomfortable transition (like, say, in your late 20s, or living through about 5 different national and global catastrophes).

And okay, I found that speech on the wiki for this episode and it made me deeply emotional, so here:

Here's the thing: you've got to take your failures and make something out of them. Take Camp Campbell for instance: a lot of poor decisions went into making this place what it is today. Sure, somewhere along the line it maybe strayed from its path, not living up to the camp it wanted to be. At some point, the camp realized that the camp would never reach the end of its path until it was ready or until it gave up. So, if the camp wanted to keep embezzling money and dealing with foreign powers, so be it! But, at some point, it didn't anymore. I never saw this coming, but I'm starting to think this camp is the best it's ever been.

If this is the last episode of Camp Camp we ever get -- and for at least a little while, it looks like it’s going to be -- I can’t think of a sweeter, funnier, and more lovely bittersweet note for this show to go out on.

7. The Lake Lilac Summer Social (Season 3, episode 6)

And again: No one was surprised. 

This is the longest non-finale episode of the show, and it uses that time perfectly. Rather than having some big emotional moments and character arcs -- which are great, don’t get me wrong -- the writers use the extended time to build a series of shenanigans as complicated as Gwen’s matchmaking web, and watching her try to set up a series of dominos (with David, for once, being the responsible, level-headed one) is almost as satisfying as the catastrophic results. 

Neil and Snake steal this episode, even from someone as in love with Gwen as I am, and for an episode that’s largely about making fun of shippers, there hasn’t been one that launched nearly as many ships as this. Neil/Snake? Tabii/Erin? Max/Nikki? GWENVID?! It’s all here, and I am here for it.

It was also fun to get a traditional episode setup in a very non-traditional show. I assume this means the beach and/or hot springs episode is forthcoming. (No, Pis/s Lake doesn’t count. Obviously it doesn’t count.)

6. Keep the Change (Season 4, episode 1)

Again, this is an episode I’ve said a lot about in the past -- and I was pretty uncharitable toward Season 3, which in retrospect was very unse/xy of me -- but I stand by a lot of my opinions then: this is a fu/cking great episode.

David is an as/shole, Max is an as/shole, Campbell is an as/shole. No one escapes the as/sholery. David schemes, Max catches him in the scheme, Campbell gets drunk and kind of gay . . . I’m 54 entries into this list and I don’t have much to say anymore: it’s just really good and fun and I love it.

5. Camp Loser Says What? (Season 4, episode 9)

This is another one I kind of hated when it came out, and again for fandom-related and personal-grudge reasons.

Fu/cking Daniel. That motherfu/cker. He shows up for 12 minutes and Tumblr bursts into flames. Every single time.

However, it’s really hard not to love this one. Daniel-as-Trump is a clever but subtle -- I mean, for this show’s definition of subtle -- allegory, and it’s amazing how much this slimy freak and the Woodscouts slot into it. David is a bise/xual disaster with the absolute worst taste in men, Dirty Kevin and Daniel are onscreen together for all of 2.5 seconds and the kevdan shippers lost their minds, and Xemug looks like Megamind for some weird reason.

My only minor complaint is that the ending is a bit anticlimactic, but it plays on Daniel’s stupidity and the value of teamwork, so it’s a very small nitpick in an episode that mostly works like gangbusters.

4. Cult Camp (Season 2, episode 1)

Duh. There’s a really good song and we’re introduced to a charismatic, sinister, and totally dumba/ss villain. What’s not to like?

I don’t think I even need to say anything about this episode. Season 2 started off the summer by throwing a lit firecracker directly at the viewer’s face, and ignoring the fact that we as a fandom proceeded to eat each other, it’s impossible not to get caught up in the episode’s wild energy.

And dude, that song. Fabulous. Fu/ck Daniel, but thank god he’s around to be such a prickly little pri/ck.

Now for the top 3: Literally perfect, wouldn’t change a single solitary thing.

3. After Hours (Season 4, episode 8)

I’m not sure anyone loved this episode as much as me. But this is my list, and I will put this up at the top if I want to and you cannot stop me.

It’s much easier in a lot of ways to talk about the episodes I hated than the ones I love this much. What do I say besides “literally everything about this fills me with joy and my life is better because it exists”? I don’t know. The counselors are my favorite characters, and between Gwen and QM having the weirdest bonding experience, Gwen getting to meet up with people who care about her silly fanfiction, Mr. Campbell being the trash grandpa of my dreams, David getting in way over his head . . . it’s the episode I always wanted, and they made it work so well.

Also, I just discovered that “Gwen Isn’t Your Mother So Stop Asking Her to Rinse Your Dishes” is an actual song and I am overwhelmed with delight. Here, I’m embedding it as well as linking because it’s so good:

God. This show. What the fu/ck even is up with this amazing, weird-as/s show.

2. The Order of the Sparrow (Season 1, episode 12)

Duh.

The entire first season is a great time (except “Reigny Day”), but it’s a pretty low-stakes kind of great time. There isn’t much in terms of emotional depth until the very end of “Camporee,” despite some hints at darker themes in one-off jokes and quick asides, so this episode comes a bit out of left field, tonally speaking.

But that’s not a bug, it’s a feature; if the show had been this overtly emotional from the outset, this finale wouldn’t hit as hard, and the rest of the season wouldn’t be as funny. 

This manages to serve as a capstone to the conflict of the first season, building on episodes like “Into Town” and “Escape from Camp Campbell” in a way that feels totally natural for both David and Max’s characters while revealing new sides of them. It works because it’s so unexpected, but it doesn’t come across as incongruous with their personalities. It’s the first and only time David swears in all 4 seasons, and that line -- I don’t even need to say it, you know exactly what I’m talking about -- still gives me chills.

Also, Gwen sings the camp theme song. Impossible not to cherish.

1. The Forest (Season 4, episode 12)

I’m not sure if this one is a surprise or not. It might be the obvious first place, or it might be a bit of an oddball for some people.

I had a really hard time choosing between this and “The Order of the Sparrow”; I switched their places half a dozen times, and the difference in quality between the two is razor-thin. I think part of that is because it accomplishes a lot of what “Order of the Sparrow” does: puts David in a situation where he’s pushed to his absolute emotional and physical capacity, crushes every shred of hope he has left, and sees what he’s actually made of when you strip everything away. It’s much more dramatic this time around, but it’s the same basic concept.

And just like in the Season 1 finale, what we see is a man who’s determined to do good even when he isn’t rewarded for it, even when he’s actively punished for it. Who wants to love nature, and life, and make the world a better place -- despite his faults, his selfishness and thoughtlessness and anger, David proves that he is fundamentally kind. He’s not nearly as deludedly optimistic as he seems; he just refuses to stop trying.

Because somebody fuc/king has to.

I’ll admit, some of what puts this one in first place is that I’m a sucker for whump, and David really goes through the ringer. However, I also think it’s important to acknowledge the risk Joe Nicolosi took with writing this episode: it’s all centered around a single character, it’s darker and more viscerally bloody than any other episode in the show’s history, the art is focused on these grand sweeping backgrounds that must’ve taken forever to paint, and there’s very little talking in a show that runs 99% on clever dialogue. This could have so easily backfired -- and for some fans it did -- but it was brave and beautiful and breathtaking.

I’ve actually only watched this in full once. It’s really hard to get through; it’s just so intense and even disturbing. But if there’s one episode I'll remember for the rest of my life, even when I’m 80 years old and haven’t seen the show in years, it’ll be “The Forest.”

It’s funny how such a sharp departure from the format and style of the rest of the show somehow manages to perfectly capture the heart of it. Talk about a fuc/king achievement.

So what have we learned?

I don’t entirely know what the purpose of this whole exercise was. I think it was mostly to get myself a nice Camp Camp fix that came from something other than slogging through 20 different fanfic WIPs, and to remind myself of what a strange and fun ride the last 4 summers have been. 

I also wanted to take a moment to acknowledge what Camp Camp means to me. This show has been hugely important to me on a personal level: I met two of my best friends through this fandom, and I’ve never been more connected to a community or readers than I have with CC. I know I bi/tch about this fandom a lot, but it’s a big extended internet family, and I’m so happy to be a part of it. Going through all these episodes, getting the chance to ramble about the things I liked and the things I didn’t, was a great way to reconnect with a series and community that I love.

So . . . what have we learned?

1. Season 4 was all over the place.

Some of this has to be due to the sheer volume of episodes, but when I sat down and organized everything into tiers:

There isn’t a single category Season 4 doesn’t have at least one episode in. I was surprised to see how high a lot of them ended up; it really was the best and worst of the show so far.

For the fun of it, I decided to give a number to each placement -- 60 points for the #1 episode, 59 for #2, etc. -- and see how each season broke down. Because that’s that kind of thing I think is worthwhile, apparently. And . . .

2. Seasons 1 and 4 are really good, actually.

Well, I don’t think anyone’s surprised to see how well Season 1 stacked up; it was amazing. But I was surprised to see how much I ended up enjoying Seasons 3 and 4, when if you’d asked me before this little project, I would’ve said they were the most underwhelming. Maybe I messed up the numbers a bit -- I’m no mathmagician -- but not only are they all really close, but Season 4 was one of my favorites.

3. This entire show is really good, actually.

One thing that really struck me when I put it all together visually is how most of the episodes sit in the “good,” “really good,” or “amazing” categories. The amount of episodes that are memorable, fun, and/or emotionally resonant is crazy. I don’t now how many other tiny cult-hit web series can say the same, honestly, and all of the writers, animators, directors/producers/other people whose jobs I don’t really understand, and voice actors should be commended for their outstanding talent and hard work.

4. Thank you, Camp Camp.

It was a real pleasure to relive all of these episodes again and think about what they meant to me. It won’t be the last time I sit down and watch this show -- and it certainly won’t be the end of my being a shrieking fangirl over it -- but with this break, where we have to get through a blazing, extremely difficult summer without a new season to fawn over, it’s nice to stop and appreciate what a precious gem of a show this is.

I hope everyone involved with Rooster Teeth is taking a much-deserved rest and prioritizing their health and well-being. Thank you for creating something truly special, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.