#kenny's mom forever a mystery
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We never even got closure on why Kenny's mom from S1 was strategically placed throughout the S1 timeline.
#kenny's mom forever a mystery#bank hostage#bus rider with Klaus#and mother of kenny who was having a bday party#what was up with that lady#we will never know#tua
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Can I get more f that Kenny’s physiology with his alter egos? I’m rlly interested in that
(assuming this means psychology, as a follow up to this post)
i’ve put it off cuz i’ve been busy with other stuff but i‘m really glad i got this ask cuz i love kenny and I love thinking about them in the context of their two alter egos!
CW: discussion of child abuse and neglect, including inexplicit discussion of child sexuality. also a lot of discussion of The Whole Kenny Death Thing. also spoilers for the stick of truth if you haven’t played it!
kenny’s been treated a lot more seriously in recent seasons, with a shift in character to be a lot more mature as well, and it’s a development that makes a lot of sense in the context of “the characters have undergone A Lot and it’s really shaped their personalities because they’re at a stage when their brain is still very soft and malleable and susceptible to trauma.”
the addition of karen in “the poor kid” seems to have shaken up the depiction of the mccormicks a lot. in earlier seasons, kenny was more passive about his home situation, or at least went out of his way to ignore them, (like in “best friends forever” when he plays on his PSP and leaves the house while his parents fight). there are early scenes where he does have some responsibility to his family (i.e. trying to win a can of food for them in “starvin marvin”) but usually he’s just depicted as a kid trying to live through a tough situation. though his “willing to do anything for money even if it’s deeply upsetting, depraved, or outright deadly” character trait from “fat camp” kind of tracks with this understanding that he prioritizes financial security over his personal well-being.
however, ever since karen was added to the show, kenny’s been depicted as a much more responsible and often even tragic figure. his parents are too caught up in their own shit to address their children’s emotional needs, and kevin sadly gets caught up in their violence as well in “the poor kid” (he’s also vaguely implied to be developmentally disabled in the few scenes he speaks up but that’s mostly speculation). because of this, kenny ends up being karen’s main caretaker - holding her close when she’s distressed at losing her parents, buying her a doll, etc.
kenny’s situation is a textbook example of parentification. he ends up taking care of karen, at least emotionally, because his parents and brother are unable to do so. he also becomes the breadwinner in “the city part of town” as soon as he gets the chance. this is a really unhealthy scenario that a lot of children in poverty, especially older siblings, see themselves in. it can result in the child not knowing their true place in a family that takes them for granted, and thus not considering their own needs and/or feeling shame if they need help because they’re so used to putting everybody before them. i think this tracks with kenny being “the quiet one” and rarely asking for anything.
that’s not even getting into the constant death and the fact he spent so much of his life not even understanding why he was doomed to constantly die in horrible painful ways, and for nobody else to remember that he even died to begin with. (kind of symbolic of the neglected child, huh?)
this brings us to mysterion and princess kenny. in both the superhero game and the fantasy game, you’ll notice kenny is the one who tends to get the most involved, with the only exception being possibly cartman, who could be the topic of a whole other essay on identity issues. mysterion is the one superhero with a real power who exists outside of their superhero game (besides the kewn, whose superhero persona is entirely self-motivated anyway), and princess kenny gets so defensive of her identity that she betrays her friends in both the trilogy and the game. kenny also talks about lady mccormick in the third person in the first black friday episode, and i don’t know if any other characters speak about their personas in that way. so kenny intentionally places more distance between his personas and himself than the other kids do with their personas.
therefore, i see mysterion and princess kenny as how kenny copes with his deeply repressed psychological issues. it’s a way to compartmentalize his feelings towards his constant suffering and the burden his family inadvertently placed on him by developing these two identities. one embraces his role as caretaker to the degree of becoming a superhero, and the other rejects it in favor of being entirely doted upon. (some people have read the prominence of roles as signs of a dissociative disorder, and i can see that with this context, but i don’t know if it’s really a perfect fit for any specific disorder, especially when there’s little information on kenny’s consciousness when it comes to these personas.)
mysterion is more obviously a tool for kenny to express his discontent with his town. in his first appearance, he states, “i could no longer sit by and watch as my city became a cesspool of crime,” which tracks with his earlier characterization as reluctantly accepting his family’s poverty despite constantly suffering. (plus i’m pretty sure several of kenny’s deaths were the result of crimes.) he refuses to be unmasked because he “would stop being a symbol,” and only does so in order to quell the unrest that his mystery has provoked. that "symbol" wording suggests that mysterion is an extreme version of kenny's self-sacrificing lifestyle to the point where he defines himself as a symbol of justice and hope, not a person. kenny himself is also pretty quiet and secretive, but more because nobody cares about him and he’s kind of afraid of getting killed any second. mysterion’s secret persona is something bold, powerful, and masculine. he is physically adept in a way we don’t see kenny behave, and much more reasonable and cautious about what’s best for him and humanity. (a good visual of this to contrast with kenny is the “mysterion re-rising” animation in the fractured but whole, where he consciously rejects the chance to go to the heaven full of naked women that kenny loves because he has to return to battle.)
mysterion is also a way for kenny to reclaim his "curse” and use it for good. as mysterion, he uses death (albeit reluctantly) to get out of tough situations and save his friends.��in video games like fractured but whole and phone destroyer, mysterion’s ability to exist as a ghost and revive himself is a gameplay mechanic. this self-sacrificial personality trait has shown up in earlier seasons, and he kills himself for the good of the community/world/etc in “cartman’s mom is still a dirty slut,” the movie, and “jewbilee.” but he’s not nearly as interested in world issues unless he’s under pressure to care. (for example: he does join the workers’ strike in “bike parade,” but he’s not very passionate about it and doesn’t even care about the issue until his dad takes him to a union meeting.) kenny’s good with solving short-term issues while mysterion worries about the deeper, long-term problems with the town.
this brings us to mysterion and the mccormicks. when we see mysterion’s interactions with karen, we see how mysterion represents kenny’s responsibilities towards her. mysterion is able to offer karen elaborate, heartfelt emotional support, and guarantee that he’ll always be there for her. he also beats up a girl who bullies her and threatens anybody else who thinks about hurting her - more on that aggressive instinct down below. while mysterion’s identity is known to his friends and the rest of the town, it’s not known to karen, who sees him as a guardian angel. presumably, this is so mysterion can remain a symbol of hope to her, just like he is to the town, and so karen feels like there’s people in the world who care about her besides her brother. however, this does backfire in the fractured but whole DLC where she laments how her brother doesn’t seem to spend time with her, which embarrasses mysterion as he promises to tell him to be there for her more often. this implies that kenny gets so wrapped up in being mysterion that he forgets that he has a duty to karen as kenny as well, further indicating that mysterion is a way to cope with the tragic responsibility of caring for a sibling not much younger than he is.
during the superhero trilogy, kenny also uses mysterion to question his parents about their cult meetings, something that shook him so badly when he learned about it that he broke character. mysterion also told his parents to be nicer to the kids, not beat each other up, pay their kids allowances, and not smoke. it seems that mysterion is able to approach kenny’s parents about serious issues while kenny himself mostly stays out of their business - possibly out of fear? (kenny’s more confrontational in later seasons, though - flipping off his dad in “bike parade,” for example.)
on a similar note, mysterion is way more openly angry and violent than kenny is, especially when it comes to the death curse, which he openly complains about in a way kenny himself never did. compare kenny complaining about stan ignoring his deaths in “cherokee hair tampons,” which only gets further ignored, and mysterion complaining about it in graphic detail in “coon vs coon and friends,” even killing himself in front of his friends, and understandably scaring the shit out of them. mysterion also gets really protective of karen, violently so, as seen with the girl he beats up in “the poor kid” and his distrust when the vampires befriend her in the “from dusk til casa bonita” DLC. such a mysterion is way more passionate and loud about justice and direct action while kenny is more resigned, and most of his good deeds are unknown to the public. if kenny has embraced this caretaker role, it makes sense that he vents his repressed anger through mysterion, especially if you take it in the context of dissociation - kenny can’t handle dwelling on his shitty life all the time, so mysterion holds that anger and finds a way to cope with it by trying to fix everything around them, including kenny’s home life.
princess kenny is very opposite mysterion in many ways. most obviously, she’s a girl. kenny’s relationship with gender is something i think about a lot in light of PK. “tweek vs craig” depicted him as the only boy in home ec, and he was thrilled because it was the safe alternative to the deadly shop class. i think that, regardless of your headcanon for kenny’s gender (i personally see them as feminine nonbinary - i’m mostly using “he” pronouns in this essay strictly for recognition’s sake and because i’m mostly talking about the show’s depiction of kenny), he sees femininity as safe and comforting, but nevertheless very powerful. (remember that his mother, while not super feminine, is a very outspoken and aggressive woman who calls stuart out on his shit constantly.) and what’s a better combination of femininity and power than a magical girl?
also one thing i want to note real quick is that karen still refers to kenny as her sister in the stick of truth despite not being super involved in their game which i personally choose to read as Trans Rights Subtext
this is how we get lady mccormick / princess kenny, who is largely a passive character during the black friday trilogy, sitting upon her throne and cutely commenting on the surroundings while stan translates for her. then when sony takes her in, she becomes the star of her own show, a magical japanese princess who doesn’t take shit from cartman or his army and gets whatever she wants because she’s a cute little girl and now she gets to be protected and doted upon! also she speaks japanese and is not muffled in the slightest despite wearing her parka....symbolism? and really interestingly is that when she supposedly dies, she brushes herself off and immediately revives, declaring that she’s okay. in kenny’s feminine fantasy, she doesn’t suffer when she dies, and revives without any mess at all. princess kenny is always gonna be okay!
PK is also very flirty and overly sexual. it’s no secret that kenny is very interested in and knowledgeable of sex. he also absolutely worships women’s bodies, as seen with his views of heaven and that whole plot of “major boobage.” i don’t even read this as lust, because he’s ten, but sheer fascination with sex. maybe it plays into that whole “growing up too fast” concept where he tries to indulge in the “fun” parts of adulthood to make up for the exhaustion of caregiving, but this has been a thing since before kenny was depicted as a real caregiver so IDK.
anyway, i think PK is also a way for kenny to experiment with flirting and sex, particularly with other boys. she uses her coyness and, in the games, her bare chest to entice boys. her cuteness also attracts grown men in “titties and dragons” which goes largely unremarked upon, which is a bit uncomfortable but still works with the idea that she’s the most “lovable” form of kenny. she also apparently thinks the new kid is “cute.” iit’s really funny to me how kenny is depicted as interested in strictly girls while princess kenny only focuses on boys, which could support the idea that PK is a separate entity from kenny, or that kenny just needs to figure himself out. either way, i imagine kenny finds some thrill in getting men to pay attention to them when their male friends often treat her as superfluous, and even then it often involves objectifying herself (this also tracks with their behavior in “fat camp”). it’s kind of sad if you think about it.
in the climax of the stick of truth, princess kenny has her own in-depth backstory, where she was an orc/elf rejected by both the elves and humans. i think this reflects kenny’s feeling of being “othered” as non-human (since this game chronologically comes after the superhero trilogy) and just generally not feeling welcome among their friends unless they need her. there may also be some parallels between her friends denying her the right to be a princess and kenny’s friends refusing to believe in his immortality. when she rebels against her friends choosing the stick over friendship, it’s another way for kenny to cope with their mixed-to-negative feelings about their friends. so while PK is a figure to be doted on, she’s still probably more gutsy than the kenny we usually know.
however, PK is not entirely selfish or apathetic about the world around her. in the opening of “a song of ass and fire,” her inner monologue explains her choice to deflect to the PS4 side as the side she believes “is best for all.” she also laments that everybody, including her parents, will be fighting on black friday. it seems that PK dreads the mere idea of war, which contradicts mysterion’s tendency to use violence as a means to protect others. PK still uses her adorableness to help her team, and only asks that they accept her, which really isn’t much. it’s just when she, you know, becomes a nazi zombie and puts the world in danger because she’s so pissed about not being accepted for who she is.
in my original post, i used the freudian personality theory to explain these three personas, which i regret because i fucking hate freud and he’s heavily responsible for modern consumerism and planned obsolescence. but the basic concepts of the id, ego, and superego do kind of illustrate what i’m getting at with these guys. i assigned princess kenny as the id, because she’s more about self-gratification and getting what she thinks she deserves as well as a tendency towards sexual gratification, and mysterion as the superego (hehe get it super) because of his strong inclination towards morality. however, this isn’t that black-and-white, as princess kenny has some moral considerations and mysterion has violent impulses (the “aggressive instinct”) that are more easily attributed to the id. nevertheless, it seems that kenny is still the balance between these exaggerated personas, and when he expresses attitudes similar to theirs, they are far more downplayed due to the necessities of his situation as a caretaker and an underappreciated friend. kind of makes you wonder if/how the attitudes of mysterion and princess kenny will manifest in him when he’s older.
#kenny mccormick#princess kenny#mysterion#south park#LONG POST#kenny#answers#my-nostalgia-is-horror#analysis
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Ben 10/The Greatest Showman AU Chapter 2
Co-written by me and @minecraftninjerkid
Ben sat at his desk, already feeling the exhaustion kick in. He was working as a shipping clerk for the Bauman grocery chain, typing in information all day long. It was dreary and boring, two things he despised the most, but the money helped take care of his family, so he couldn’t complain.
That was until one day his boss, Mr. Bauman, burst in, moaning with grief as he padded helplessly at the side of a man in a suit, presumably someone from the marketing hierarchy, walked ahead, stone-faced.
“Ruined! I am ruined!” he wailed as he fell to his knees, sobbing grossly. Fearing this meant what he thought it did, Ben stood up from his seat, as did many of his coworkers, who gathered around their boss and asked what was wrong.
“The company’s gone bankrupt!” Bauman mourned. “All our trading ships are at the bottom of the sea! All because of a typhoon!”
A worried clamor broke out among the employees, but Ben seemed tiredly resigned to this. “Not again…oh well. At least it wasn’t my fault this time.”
“Typhoon season is FAR off,” he overheard one of his cos whispering to another. “I’ll bet it was the work of aliens!”
“Don’t be stupid, they’re off in hiding. No way those cowards would show their faces,”
“They would if it meant disrupting our lives!”
Ben packed his desk silently as his former coworkers spoke. The discrimination of aliens among humans was a common topic he overheard constantly. He personally thought aliens were beautiful and mysterious creatures, the exact kind of spark he had been seeking since he was young, but he knew better than to speak about an opinion different than the majority’s. It wasn’t time for that yet.
It was then that Ben started to worry. Without his job, how was he going to take care of his family? As he packed up his things, pondering on what to do, he noticed the slips for the lost ships were still on his desk. Looking this way and that to make sure no one was looking, he quickly packed them in his suitcase, hoping they could be of use.
Soon, Ben arrived back to the small apartment he shared with his wife, Courtney, and his two sons, Cody and Kenny. He looked around at their home, which had seen better days. It was in dire need of repairs, something he wasn’t going to be able to give for a while now.
Ben climbed up the stairs of the fire escape up to the roof, where he heard the laughter of his boys and the sweet voice of his wife.
Courtney was hanging up laundry to dry as the boys were playing a game where they were pretending to be cowboys and Indians. “I’ve got you now, pardner!” Cody jeered, finger guns trained on his older brother.
“Not for long, white devil!” Kenny shot back, windmilling his arms, throwing imaginary tomahawks. “Geronimooooooooooooooo-!”
Cody squealed and rushed to hide behind his mother. “Backup! Marshal! Protect your sheriff!”
Laughing at her son’s antics, Courtney joined in and pretended to shoot at Kenny with finger guns, but played dead when he retaliated with a well-shot pretend arrow.
Ben smiled at the warm scene as he approached Courtney, tipping an invisible cowboy hat to her. “G’evening, madam.”
“Hey, you’re home early,” Courtney said, turning to greet her husband.
“And until further notice,” Ben explained as he held up the resignation slip he and his co-workers were given.
Courtney took the slip from his and looked at it before quickly dismissing it. “Well, I didn’t think that job was right for you anyway,” she comforted him, hoping to cheer him up.
“Or any job apparently,” Ben said as he helped Cortney hang up a large sheet.
“Well, that’s what makes our life together so exciting,”
“But Courtney…this isn’t the life I promised you,”
“That’s okay. I already have everything I want,”
“But what about the magic?”
Courtney gestured to their sons, still playing their make-believe game. “What do you call those two boys over there?”
“OW! MOM! Tell Kenny Indian burns is foul play!” Cody whined.
“Not if you’re on the Indian team!” Kenny replied.
“Alright, alright, settle down, partners,” Courtney calmed her children as she put an arm around Ben. “Look who moseyed into the corral.”
The boys’ faces lit up at once. “Dad!” They ran over and hugged him tightly, Ben scooping them both up, balancing them on both his shoulders.
“Hey, how are my favorite boys?” Ben asked as he carried them over to the fire pit.
“Did you bring me a present?” Kenny asked him.
“A present for what?”
“For my birthday,”
“What? No way, your birthday was last year.”
The boys laughed as Ben opened his briefcase. “Okay, well, I DO have something for you, but not just any present: it’s the most amazing birthday present ever.”
Ben pulled out a lantern that had a patterned cover. “The blueprints crossed my desk just for a moment, but I managed to commit them to memory and if I remembered them correctly…”
With a spin of the disc, it caused the lights from the lantern to almost dance around them. “Happy birthday, Kenny.”
Kenny and Cody both looked around at the lights in amazement. “What is it?” Cody asked when he looked back at the item his father built.
“It’s called a wishing machine. You tell it your wish and it keeps them safe until it comes true. Even if you forget then, they’re always here.” Ben explained.
“Can I tell a wish?” Cody asked.
“Of course. Step right up.”
Cody stepped forward and closed his eyes. “I wish to marry the tooth fairy,” Cody whispered to the lantern as he chuckled a bit.
“You maybe wanna leave a pressed flower alongside your next loose tooth under your pillow~?” Courtney teased her son, which earned her a playful push and a giggle.
“Now, now, sweetheart, Cody’s got his priorities straight. That’s a good wish.”, Ben said as Kenny stepped forward.
“I wish…for a new belt,” Kenny whispered.
Ben hesitated, knowing that was a wish a bit harder to grant. “That’s…a good wish too.”
“What’s your wish, Mom?”, Cody asked as he looked up at Courtney. She thought for a moment before answering.
“I wish for us to be happy like this forever. For you, and you, and your father.” Courtney, wrapping her arms around Ben.
They all continued to sit and watch the lights spin around them, thinking about what Courtney said. To Ben, that was going to be the hardest wish of all to grant. Nonetheless, he was going to make that wish come true, no matter what.
Part of making that wish work, however, was going to involve a little swindling. He was able to pass off the lost ships as his own, allowing him to get a loan from the bank.
Courtney was surprised at this stroke of luck. “Why would a bank give us a loan of $10,000?”
“Collateral does wonders, believe it or not,” Ben said as he led her and his sons through town.
“What collateral are you talking about, exactly?” Courtney asked suspiciously.
“Of course, we do, in the South China Seas. DEEP in the South China Seas.”
“And we bought WHAT with this loan?”
Ben responded by pointing at a building ahead of them, the boys already rushing ahead to read the title.
“’Tennyson’s American Museum of Curiosities’,” Kenny read aloud from the sign on the building.
“What kind of museum is it?” Cody asked excitedly, hoping it was full of amazing items.
Well, it was full of…items, but most would not call them amazing. “Well, what do you think?”, Ben asked as he showed them the inside.
“A…wax museum?” Courtney asked, a bit surprised by what she was seeing, though the pleasure from before had left her tone.
“Well yeah, they’re supposed to be all the rage in Europe. Boys, go take a look around, but don’t touch anything!”
After they were out of sight, Ben looked back at Courtney, who seemed unsure of her husband’s decision.
“Okay, now I know what you’re thinking, and I know how it looks-“
“Good, I’d be glad if you didn’t,”
“But it just needs a little work, y’know a little elbow grease here and there,”
“And the loan? You KNOW it needs to be paid back every month,”
“Don’t worry it will, we just need costumers. Trust me, everything will be fine.” Ben promised as he kissed her forehead.
But as fate would have it, things were not going as well as they seemed. No matter how hard they tried, no one wanted to see the museum. After a full day of people tossing his posters and getting laughed at, Ben went up to the ticket booth, where his good friend and former pickpocket, Kevin, was working. “What’ve you got for me, Kev?”
“Three,” Kevin answered, giving Ben some hope before he turned around and saw Courtney holding up the three tickets that she bought.
Later that night, Ben arrived back home, feeling defeated from his long day. He saw that Courtney was already asleep on the couch, waiting for him to come home. Ben had a soft smile on his face as he gently covered her with a blanket.
“Dad?” Ben heard Cody’s tiny voice from the boys’ bedroom. Upon entering, he noticed both his sons were still awake.
“Did you sell any more tickets today?” Kenny asked him, sounding sleepy.
“Uh…yeah a few. A lot of people were in a rush to get home since it’s Friday, but we still sold a few,” Ben assured them, not wanting to worry them.
“I think you just have too many common things in your museum,” Cody pointed out. “People see humans like the ones in our museum every day.”
“Yeah, you need something different,” Kenny added.
Ben thought about this for a moment as he gave them a smile. “Thanks for the food for thought, boys,” he thanked them as he tucked them in. “But it doesn’t buy you any extra late-night hours. Off to bed, you two.”
Later, Ben was still awake as he thought about what Kenny and Cody had said. Something different…something other than humans…
The moment the concept crossed his mind, he sat upright in bed. They would be hard to find and even harder to pass off as an act in front of humans, but he knew EXACTLY what he needed: he needed aliens.
#ben 10#ben tennyson#ben 10 omniverse#ben 10 oc#ben 10 original series#ben 10 fanfiction#ben 10 au#courtney lawrence#the greatest showman#the greatest showman au#oc x canon#Oc x character
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Tuesday, October 11, 2022 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)
WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES? NEVER SEEN AGAIN (Paramount +) THE WINCHESTERS (CTV Sci-Fi) 8:00pm PROFESSIONALS (CHCH/Check Local Listings) 9:00pm 38 AT THE GARDEN (HBO Canada) 9:00pm
WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT THE OVAL (TBD - BET Canada) THE RENOVATOR (TBD - HGTV Canada)
NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:
CBC GEM HODAN’S STORY
CRAVE TV 38 AT THE GARDEN
NETFLIX CANADA THE CAGE DEAW#13 UDOM TAEPHANICH STAND UP COMEDY SHOW ILIZA SHLESINGER: HOT FOREVER ISLAND OF THE SEA WOLVES MURDOCH MYSTERIES (Season 15)
MLB BASEBALL (SN) 1:00pm: NLDS: Philadelphia vs. Atlanta - Game #1 (SN360) 3:30pm: ALDS: Mariners vs. Astros - Game #1 (SN) 7:30pm: ALDS: Guardians vs. Yankees - Game #1 (SN360) 9:30pm: NLDS: Padres vs. Dodgers - Game #1
NHL HOCKEY (SN1) 7:30pm: Lightning vs. Rangers (SN1) 10:00pm: Knights vs. Kings
PRE-SEASON NBA BASKETBALL (TSN4/TSN5) 7:00pm: Thunder vs. Pistons (SN Now) 8:00pm: Bucks vs. Bulls
THIS HOUR HAS 22 MINUTES (CBC) 8:00pm: Looking back and exploring what has made the show a cultural force for over 30 seasons; featuring interviews with cast, creatives and collaborators including Rick Mercer, Mary Walsh and Peter Mansbridge.
MARY MAKES IT EASY (CTV Life) 8:00pm: Celebrating the season with Mary's recipes that take advantage of limited-edition produce, including tomatoes, zucchini, peppers and berries.
STRAYS (CBC) 8:30pm: A reality TV finale party; Nikki hates Paul's new partner; Kristian and Liam help Lara with thoughts of dating Ravi.
DINE YOUR SIGN (CTV Life) 8:30pm: Chef Siobhan Detkavich cooks for Gemini; what an air sign with a ruling planet of Mercury eats.
MOOSEMEAT & MARMALADE (APTN) 8:30pm: Chef Siobhan Detkavich cooks for Gemini; what an air sign with a ruling planet of Mercury eats.
COMEDY NIGHT WITH RICK MERCER (CBC) 9:00pm (SEASON 2 PREMIERE): TV host Rick Mercer is joined by Canadian comics D.J. Demers, Michael Moses, Dakota Ray Hebert, and Abby Roberge.
MEAN MUMS (APTN) 9:00pm: One mom threatens to break apart Jess and Heather's friendship, inconveniently disrupting the fundraising bake sale.
PENNYWORTH: THE ORIGIN OF BATMAN'S BUTLER (Showcase) 9:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Pennyworth seeks help from Bet, who is busy chasing a connection that might lead her to John Salt; while Alfie and Daveboy make a startling discovery at the ashram, Thomas and Martha get a surprise visit from Patrick.
ELI ROTH PRESENTS: MY POSSESSED PET (CTV Sci-Fi) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): A teenage girl's black stallion, Cash, is like a noble beast out of a fairy tale, but when she accidentally awakens an ancient evil, her dream horse turns into a nightmare.
HEAD HIGH (APTN) 10:00pm: Renee struggles to keep the whanau together while Vince struggles to keep his team united.
MAKING IT HOME WITH KORTNEY & KENNY (HGTV Canada) 10:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Kortney and Kenny create a unique home for Tatum, Michael and their kids after the family has invested every penny they have into a non-profit organization that helps struggling artists get health care.
#cdntv#cancon#canadian tv#canadian tv listings#this hour has 22 minutes#mary makes it easy#strays#dine your sign#moosemeat & marmalade#comedy night with rick mercer#mean mums#head high#nhl hockey#nba basketball
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i don’t believe in peter pan, frankenstein or superman
Fandom: Supergirl Rating: K Summary: As Alex and Kara help Eliza prepare for a garage sale, a shocking secret is revealed! A/N: *wants to tell a single joke about dragons on Krypton* *ends up writing thirteen pages of what is probably incoherent nonsense*
...
Spring in Midvale is...a bit tempestuous, to say the least.
It brings just as much rain as it does sun; plants blossom in the warm weather one week, only to have the new buds washed away by a freak downpour the next.
Kara doesn't mind the indecisiveness of the season all that much—she likes the sound of the raindrops on the leaves outside, and the sunlight is pleasantly mild, when it decides to make an appearance. So, she's fine with a few stretches of grey clouds, here and there.
“Yeah, well. Not all of us are impervious to the cold,” Alex mutters miserably from inside her jacket and scarf.
Kara just shrugs, not even batting an eyelash at the windchill.
Now, allergies, daylight savings, standardized testing...some of those, Kara does mind, and she'll wholeheartedly agree with Alex's complaints.
Especially when it comes to another annual spring occurrence.
“Girls, if I have to ask you one more time—”
“Alright, alright!”
Kara watches as Alex rolls her eyes and hastily tosses a few more books into the cardboard box situated in the center of the room. Kara moves a bit slower, adding a pair of old shoes that no longer fit, but hesitating with the pair of jeans in her hands. The knees are starting to go a bit thin and threadbare.
“Keep those,” Alex says. “Ripped jeans are cool.”
Kara frowns, not entirely convinced, but does as Alex says, setting aside the jeans and instead reaching for her freshman math book instead. “What about this?”
Alex huffs, clearly annoyed at being interrupted, but schools her features into something a bit more patient as she looks over her shoulder, and considers.
“...Yeah,” she finally decides, nodding towards the box. “I don't think you'd get much if you took it to a used bookstore anyway.”
Kara tosses it in.
She's been on Earth for...a little over two years, now? And thus, she's familiar with the yearly ‘Danvers' Household Spring Cleaning and Garage Sale,’ a ritual that does not actually involve the sale of garages...though Alex did try and convince her, that yes, that's definitely what garage sales are about.
(And...okay. Kara...maybe believed her for like...five minutes. Four. Tops. And then Jeremiah kindly set the record straight.)
“Girls!” Eliza calls, and Alex huffs again.
“Coming!” Alex yells. “Are we good?”
Kara looks at the sizable collection of items in the box, and nods.
“I think so. I...don't really have anything else to put in.”
“Yeah, figured,” Alex says. There isn't much that Kara has that's old enough to warrant tossing out—everything works perfectly fine, or fits perfectly well, will definitely last another year. Most of the stuff they've found belongs to Alex—old books and board games. Of course, Alex first offered them to Kara, but. Kara didn't have much use for an old Chinese Checker set that was missing half the pieces. (And Kara certainly had no use for Clue...as she’d been permanently put off of murder mysteries ever since Kenny.)
But Kara does has more to contribute this time around, at least. Like those shoes, for instance. (And that pair of jeans she sneaked back in the box, when Alex wasn't looking.)
Her sister stands, hefting the cardboard box as she does so. Kara grabs a smaller box, and Alex feigns annoyance.
“Hey, you're the super strong alien...you should take this one.”
Kara smirks.
“Sorry, can't. I'm not supposed to use my powers, remember?”
Alex nudges her in the side, adding a drawn out, “riiiiiight,” generously laced with sarcasm. They both laugh and head downstairs.
“Finally!” Eliza says, once they reach the bottom of the stairs. Kara wonders if they're in for a lecture, but Eliza's clearly too wrapped up in prepping for the garage sale to fit in any scolding. “Just put them over by the door, and then Alex...I need you to go through some of the things out in the shed...”
“What?!” Alex yelps as they add their boxes to the (ever growing, it seems) stack near the door. “You never said I had to clean out the shed...that'll take forever.”
“It's just a few things,” Eliza insists, “some of the sports equipment, and the old camping gear. I think one of the tents is broken...”
“Uggggh,” Alex groans. And Kara is ready to leave her behind, and retreat back to their room, because she's been out in the shed a total of two times, and both were entirely unpleasant affairs.
Besides, Eliza only mentioned Alex. So Kara’s pretty sure she in the clear.
But of course, Alex isn't about to let that happen.
“Can Kara at least come and help me lift stuff?” Alex asks, and Kara—having zero desire to get roped into this, is quick to remind her:
��I'm not supposed to use my pow—”
“It's just moving junk out of the way,” Alex says, turning to Eliza to plead her case. “It'll go faster, and then we'll be all set for Saturday.”
Kara can see Eliza turning the idea over in her head...clearly taken with the notion of being ahead of schedule.
“But—!” Kara tries once more, but Eliza is already moving towards the office, several empty milk crates in tow.
“Help your sister!” she calls over her shoulder. “But no flying or super speed—just strength!”
Alex chuckles wickedly under her breath as Kara slumps, and emits a disgruntled whine.
“You're the worst,” Kara mutters. And Alex just shrugs it off.
“It’s a sibling thing, get used to it,” she says, and when Kara gives her an inquisitive look, she elaborates, “'if I'm going down, I'm taking you with me.'”
The shed is just as bad as Kara recalls.
Dark, damp, and void of any semblance of organization, it's a dumping ground for outdoor gear, (both broken and functional), gardening equipment (that they never use) and patio furniture that, by Alex's calculations, has not seen the light of day for at least six years.
“Okay, I know mom said just strength...” Alex starts, staring into the shadowy abyss, “but you think you could...?”
Kara sighs, and slips her glasses off, using her x-ray vision to quickly locate the items they've been sent to find.
“Camping gear's all the way at the back,” Kara says, “What sport stuff did Eliza want you to look at?”
“I dunno,” Alex says, pushing a few foam boogie boards out of the way. She nods towards some lawn chairs, and Kara grunts, but ultimately obliges, easily hoisting them out of the way. “Let's do the camping stuff first.”
“'Kay.”
Alex is right, of course; Kara's super strength makes clearing a path a cinch, and, admittedly, it turns out to be an invaluable asset, given that the tents are buried beneath several layers of cobweb-covered junk.
Kara hauls everything out into the backyard, allowing Alex to yank the tents from the shelving units.
“Okay, let's check and see...” Alex starts to say, dumping the pieces out onto the lawn.
A puff of red dust and the moldy remains of what was once a canvas tent come tumbling out.
“...Yeah, I think that's...done.” Alex surmises.
Kara nods, recoiling slightly at the smell of water damage.
“Here, just—put that in the garbage, actually. No one's gonna wanna buy that,” Alex tells her. “I'll start putting this stuff back.”
Kara does as she's told, gingerly taking the tent to the side yard, and shoving it into one of the trashcans.
“Yeeeuch,” she mumbles, shaking her head and trotting back to join her sister. Alex stands just outside the shed, brushing her hands on her jeans, and regarding two items propped up against the shed's corrugated metal siding.
Kara recognizes them as bicycles—bikes.
“Do you need my help, moving them?” Kara asks, wondering why Alex has paused. The whole reason she was out here in the first place was because Alex wanted to rush through this.
“No,” Alex says slowly, “I think I'm actually gonna move these to the garage.”
“For the sale?”
Alex shakes her head. “No,” she says again. “Or. Maybe...” she scratches her head. “I never ride mine, anymore. But, I dunno...” she runs her hand over the seat, which Kara thinks might be black, underneath the thick layer of dust. “They're kinda nice to just have, you know?”
Kara nods, even though she's not really sure she understands.
“Uh...yeah,” she agrees, and her hesitation must be apparent, because Alex turns and gives her a funny look.
“Oh...come on,” she says suddenly, realizing. “You guys seriously didn't have bikes on Krypton?”
Kara crosses her arms, feeling a twinge of defensiveness working its way into her response. “Why would we? They're...archaic.”
Alex doesn't take offense at the comment, instead grabbing one of the bikes and nudging the kickstand up out of the way.
“Well now we have to keep them,” she grins. “Here, take this, I'll go see if I can find the helmets—”
“Uhhh...” Kara is forced to take hold of the nearest bike by the handle bars, because Alex is already dashing back into the shed. A few loud crashes follow, along with some grumbling and more than a few phrases that would have Eliza frowning in disapproval, but at last, Alex emerges, two bike helmets in hand.
“Here,” she says, giving one to Kara. It's smaller than the other—bright blue, with the faded, gummy remains of stickers dotted along the front.
“But I don't—”
“I know you don't need it,” Alex says, clipping her own helmet into place. It's larger, and a plain dark grey. “But, you know. It's the law, and everything, and you have to blend—”
“No, I—” Kara steps away from the bike, handing the helmet back to Alex. “I don't...want to. Ride, I mean.”
Alex blinks.
“Oh,” she says, taking the helmet from Kara. “Like...you don't wanna go right now, or...?”
“Yeah,” Kara nods vigorously. “I...I forgot I have...some APUSH stuff to finish.”
Alex narrows her eyes. They're in the same class.
“What APUSH stuff?”
“I meant Bio,” Kara says, already heading back towards the house. “We can go...some other time, maybe!”
Alex watches her go, eyes still narrowed, so not buying this.
���Riiiight.”
It's not the same thing, Kara tells herself as she stares at the ceiling in their room, sprawled on her bed and not working on Bio or APUSH.
It's not the same thing at all.
And she's not sure if that makes her feel better...or worse.
Kara doesn't even entertain the notion that Alex will leave well enough alone—she knows, right from the get-go, that her sister is going to keep harping on this until...until something happens. Either until Kara snaps or caves or does something else that Alex can hyper-fixate on.
“I can teach you,” Alex offers, literally riding circles around Kara. She's taken to riding her old bike to school...no doubt an attempt to wear down Kara's resolve.
Kara just shrugs, and keeps walking.
“No thanks.”
Alex sighs angrily. “I just don't get it,” she says. “Why not?”
Kara shrugs again, “I dunno, I just don't want to.”
“That's not really a reason.”
“I don't need a reason,” Kara insists, gripping her backpack straps a bit tighter. Alex has stopped pedaling, allowing the bike to coast alongside the sidewalk. Kara can hear the spokes clicking loudly in her ears.
“I guess not,” Alex admits. “...But it would...kinda be nice to have one.” She thinks for a moment. “You can't be scared—it's impossible for you to get hurt.”
Kara scowls.
“I'm not scared.”
“Yeah, I know. I just said you weren't.”
“Good. 'Cause I'm not,” Kara reiterates firmly.
Alex squints at her. “Well, now I'm thinking that you kind of are.”
“I'm not!” Kara says again, raising her voice. Alex frowns, taken aback.
“Whoa, calm down, I didn't—”
“I'm not scared of your...your dumb Earth bikes. You know why we didn't have them on Krypton? Because we had dragons. These big—lizard—dragon things with wings that were ten times scarier than any of your antiquated...” Kara stammers a little, the Kryptonian and English getting jumbled in her head. “Stuff. Your antiquated stuff.”
And she knows she shouldn't, but she uses a touch of super speed, because she's done talking.
Alex watches her go, still a little...stunned, by Kara's outburst.
“...Dragons?”
“Is it scary?”
“Mmmm.” Uncle Jor hums thoughtfully as he chews. “A little. At first. What do you think, Zor?”
Her father nods in agreement.
“At first, yes.”
“I had to push him, you know,” Uncle Jor tells her, leaning forward and pretending to whisper. Kara rolls her eyes—Uncle Jor is under the impression that she finds his antics hilarious.
(Which, admittedly, she did. When she was five.)
But she is interested in the story.
“Did you really?” she asks, looking from her uncle to her father, and back again. Uncle Jor laughs.
“I see you've not shared this particular story with Kara, then?”
“He has not shared it with me, either,” her mother interjects, joining them at the table. She raises an eyebrow and smirks at Zor.
Her father's smile is sheepish.
“Well...it has never come up before...”
“Zor was certain he would take to flying much faster than I,” Uncle Jor says, leaning back in his chair. “But when we got to the cliffs, he froze.”
“I was merely taking my time,” her father says.
Uncle Jor shakes his head. “He froze.”
“So you pushed him?” Kara asks. Uncle Jor nods.
“H'Raka was going to leave without him!” he claps his brother on the shoulder. “So I gave him a good shove, right off the edge of the cliff.”
Her mother covers her mouth with her hand in an attempt to hide her smile.
“I am surprised the thantho flez allowed that,” she chuckles. Her father looks sheepish again.
“She...did not.”
“She threw him right off.” Uncle Jor nods.
Kara's eyes widen, and her mother abruptly stops laughing.
“Did you get hurt?” Kara asks, trying to imagine the scene. Were the cliffs steep? How far did father fall? Was H'Raka alright?
“I landed in a Hantha tree, thank Rao,” her father smiles. “I broke my arm, but if could have been...much worse.”
“I pray you had the decency to feel badly,” her mother turns and scolds Uncle Jor, who is nodding, wearing a very serious frown.
“Oh, of course,” he says, just as he winks at Kara.
Kara doesn't laugh—in fact, she remains quiet throughout the rest of the dinner, still thinking about Father, and flying, and being frightened.
Eventually, Uncle Jor leaves—he has to meet Aunt Lara at the High Council building. She doesn't join her parents, in seeing him off.
“Alright, Little One,” her mother says, once Uncle Jor is gone. “Something is troubling you.”
Kara shakes her head, but her mother and father know better. Her father rubs her shoulder.
“It will not be scary,” he tells her, correctly guessing the source of her worry. “Flying. I promise, it will be fine.”
“Do I...have to go?” Kara asks in a small voice. Her mother and father share a look—something passes between them, a silent conversation. Kara marvels at their ability to do that—seemingly speaking to one another, without actually talking.
“You must take the test...eventually...” her father says slowly, kneeling so that they are eye level. Again, he rubs her shoulders, soothingly. “You know this.”
“Thara waited until fifth tier...” Kara argues.
And she can see her mother, ready to protest, to tell her that she may not wait, she must take the test before her fourth tier lessons.
But it's her father who speaks, soft and reassuring.
“We will wait until you are ready,” he says, smiling. “And when that time comes, we will be right there beside you. To teach you. To help you.”
Kara feels the anxious knot in her stomach come undone.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
That was one year before the planet started falling apart.
(Though...according to her dad and Uncle Jor, the planet had been falling apart for a long time, but. It didn't become...noticeable until...just before the end, really.)
She never took her flight test.
Her parents never taught her how to ride a thantho flez, or a hover skiff, or...or anything, really. She was too young for some of those things...too scared for the others.
And when at last she found some courage (I'm not afraid, father)...
Well.
By then, it was too late.
Kara sighs, poking her head into the living room, finding Alex lying on one of the couches.
“Um. Hey....” she starts. Alex glances up from her phone.
“Hey.”
And Kara takes that as a good sign...Alex doesn't sound like she's mad at her. If anything, she sounds bored. And that's fine. Kara can handle bored.
“I'm...sorry,” Kara says, shuffling into the room somewhat awkwardly. She takes a seat in the chair across from the couch. “About yelling at you. And calling bikes dumb.”
“And antiquated.”
“And antiquated,” Kara sighs again. “I didn't mean it. I'm sure bikes are...are great.”
“Yeah, well,” Alex shrugs, gaze flicking back to her phone. “They're not quite as exciting as dragons,” she drawls, casting a pointed look in Kara's direction. Kara winces. “But. They're okay.”
“I was just upset,” Kara says, wringing her hands, feeling that she owes Alex some sort of explanation.
“Clearly,” Alex snorts. Kara lets the interruption slide, forging ahead.
“Everything you said...about being scared and...and learning to ride...” she shrugs. “It. Reminded me of my parents, I guess. Kind of. Of...something that...I never...” she adjusts her glasses, looking down at her feet. “Never got to, um. We never...got to do, together.”
She takes a deep breath; that's as much detail as she can muster, right now, not wanting to remember too much, to linger too long on those raw emotions. She looks up to see Alex nodding, sitting up and setting her phone aside.
“Sorry. I didn't, uh,” she scratches the back of her hand. “Know. About...that it was...bringing up some stuff.”
Kara nods. “Yeah,” she says.
“Yeah.”
They sit in awkward silence for a moment as Kara struggles to think of something else to say. Fortunately, Alex puts an end to it, as she raises an eyebrow and asks:
“So...when you say dragons, do you mean...?”
Kara grins. “Like. Dragon dragons.”
“Seriously?”
“Well. Some of them look more like dragonflies, but...”
“And you guys would ride them?”
“Yeah.”
“That's...” Alex allows herself to sink back into the couch cushions. “Whoa.”
“Definitely whoa,” Kara agrees, remembering seeing Thara prepare for her test, practicing, her Winged One—her thantho flez—swooping and circling high overhead.
Alex returns to her phone, and Kara...Kara realizes with a start that, no, she never did learn to fly, back on Krypton.
But she did learn on Earth.
“You sure you want to do this?” Alex asks.
Kara buckles the strap on her borrowed helmet.
“Yes,” she says firmly.
“Because you don't have to,” Alex tells her. “I don't want to like...traumatize you, or something, and then you rat me out to mom.”
“I would never,” Kara says, entirely unconvincing.
“Mmmm hmmm,” Alex smirks. “’Course you wouldn't.”
She slings her leg over the bike—free of cobwebs and dust, and sporting a new set of pegs on the back.
“So, do I just...?” Kara asks, stepping forward somewhat tentatively. Alex nods.
“Yeah, but...wait a sec, lemme make sure...okay, go for it.”
Kara steps up onto the pegs, placing her hands on Alex's shoulders. Alex flinches.
“Too tight,” she hisses. Kara eases her grip.
“Oh, sorry. Better?”
Alex nods. “Okay, so now, you just...hang on, I guess.”
“Okay,” Kara says.
And then, they're off.
Slowly, and somewhat wobbly.
“Oh, this is great,” Kara lays on the sarcasm thick. Alex grunts.
“Would you just—I've never had a passenger before, alright? You're throwing off the whole...” Alex manages to straighten out, and pick up some speed. “Ha! Okay, there.”
And now they're really off—Alex picked a particularly hilly neighborhood for the ride, and soon enough, they're coasting down streets, wind in their hair, pale afternoon sun pleasantly warm on their backs.
They don't ride very fast, or very far—it's over all too soon, in Kara's opinion, but Alex is still paranoid that she'll emotionally scar her, or something.
They come to a stop at the bottom of the hill, tires skidding slightly on the asphalt.
“So?” Alex asks, turning. “How as that?”
Kara beams.
“Good,” she replies. “Really good. Almost like flying.”
Alex nods, humming slightly.
“Well,” she says, “as someone who's flown with you once,” she moves her feet back to the pedals, ready to head for home. “Agree to disagree.”
Kara doesn't fully explain to Alex, just what was bothering her. Kara doesn't know if she herself really understands the scope of it. (That will come later—when she has words for things like survivor's guilt.)
But Alex...Alex must understand some of it, because after the ride, on the way home, she tells Kara—somewhat haltingly, and unsure—about how her parents taught her to ride a bike—that, during the summer, they'd go for long rides on the nearby trails together. She tells Kara that there are still some things, she can't even think of doing, because Jeremiah isn't here to do it with them.
“So if I...you know,” Alex's shrug is hindered, somewhat, but Kara's grip, but Kara can feel them tense a little. “Pressured you, or something, I'm sorry.”
Kara shakes her head, only to realize Alex can't see her, focused as she is on the road. So she squeezes her shoulder, and assures her. “It's okay.”
“Quit doing that.”
“Doing what?”
“That—that thing that you're doing—normal humans can't balance like that unless both feet are on the ground.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry.”
“You have to pedal. We can't have an E.T. moment, okay?”
Kara has to think for a moment—which one was E.T.? But then she remembers...and grins.
“You sure?”
“...Honestly, no. It's very tempting. But—secret identity.”
“Right, right. Secret identity.”
“Okay, so. Pedal, and, uh. That's the front brakes—don't use those first, unless you want to flip the bike. Use the back ones—yeah, those. And....there's the gears,” Alex continues to point out the various parts of the bike. “Don't bother with those for now...you should be fine in two.”
“...Okay.”
“Alright, I think...I think that's it...” Alex says. “Ready to give it a shot?”
Kara nods, her new helmet not quite as snug as the one she'd borrowed from Alex. It tips forward into her line of sight, and she has to push it out of the way.
“Yes.”
It doesn't take long to get the hang of it. Soon enough, Kara's riding like a pro. She skids to a stop in front of Alex, breathless, not from exertion, but from excitement.
“This is fun!” she declares. Alex just laughs. “Here, you wanna...?” she gestures to the pegs.
Alex looks skeptical—Kara is still technically a rookie after all—but she does have superpowers on her side.
So she hops up onto the back of the bike.
And is immediately suspicious of Kara's sly grin.
“What are you—”
“You said no E.T. Stuff, right?”
“Right...?”
“So no flying.”
“What are you—”
Alex doesn't finish, words snatched away as Kara starts pedaling.
Alex never said anything about super speed.
Several Years Later
Alex comes home for Spring Break—it's a surprise; she'd told them she had too much work to catch up on, that she wouldn't be able to visit.
But she arrives, single duffel bag in hand, tight grin on her face.
(Kara's noticed that about Alex lately...her smiles are a little...tense.)
“I didn't even hear you pull up!” Eliza exclaims, wrapping her in a hug.
Kara didn't either...which is very strange.
“Friend dropped me off,” Alex says. “She has family up the coast...we carpooled.”
Eliza is satisfied with this answer, but Kara is not.
Still, she knows better than to interrogate her in front of Eliza.
Her answer comes later...much later. Like, middle-of-the-night later, when Alex nudges her awake, and throws something round and heavy onto her stomach.
Kara groggily regards the item with confusion, running her hands over it, not sure what she's dealing--
She sits bolt upright.
“You didn't,” she says, already grinning.
Alex's smile is no longer tense, or tight—it's small and quirked to one side and so patently Alex.
“I did,” she says, shrugging on her new motorcycle jacket. “Come on.”
And Kara doesn't have to be asked twice.
Notes:
- Kryptonian culture varies, depending on which comic you read; the bit about learning to fly/Jor and Zor is taken from the Injustice 2 title. - Formal speech/minimal contractions on Krypton is a Supergirl: Rebirth thing - Dumb title is dumb...gosh, I hate naming things.
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Some of the weird names lottery winners use to claim their prizes will make you smile
This 78-year-old grandfather of three used this nom de plume to conceal his identity. READ MORE
An older man walked into Cincinnati attorney John R Brinker’s office a few years ago looking for some advice.
He had won $656,000 through the Ohio Lottery’s Rolling Cash 5 game and wanted to preserve his anonymity. Ohio allows trusts to claim lottery prizes so the identity of big winners can remain a secret.
‘The Three Amigos’ managed to hide behind their $218 million Mega Millions win.
The man needed a proper name for his trust, reported the Beacon Journal.
Brinker looked the winner up and down and, on the spot, came up with the perfect name — “The Wish This Had Happened Sooner Trust.”
“The money would have been more enjoyable if he had been a little younger when he won,” Brinker said with a chuckle, recalling the experience.
“The Lucky Winners” wasn’t at all original, but it did the job for these $128 million Powerball winners.
The Wish This Had Happened Sooner Trust is far from the only humorous or interesting name for a trust that has collected prize money in the Buckeye State over the years.
While many people are fine with having their names made public after a big win, others choose the trust route to keep their identity away from prying public eyes.
The trusts prevent winners from being approached by solicitors — or in some cases maybe even distant relatives — interested in getting a piece of the financial windfall.
Is "‘Robin Egg’ the real name of this $487 million winner? We don't think so.
The Beacon Journal filed a public records request with the Ohio Lottery Commission to hear the stories behind some of the unusual names.
The commission provided 54 claim forms, but said it didn’t have a breakdown of the percentage of winners who choose to collect prizes by a trust.
Most attorneys didn’t return phone calls, while others declined to comment.
So just like the identity of the winners, the stories behind such offbeat names as The Peeky Poo Trust and The Oreo Cutie Trust will remain forever a mystery.
When you’re stuck for a name, then probably a blank is the best idea.
We likely will never know about the amphibian crush behind The Loves Frogs Trust, if The Captain Crunch Trust really is a reference to the famous children’s cereal, or whether the recipient of The Banana Head Trust has a head shaped like a banana.
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Ronald Zele, a Willoughby attorney who represents The David’s Song Trust, which won $50,000 a year for 20 years in a Super Millions game in 2015, said there is indeed a tale behind the name. But his client is a private person and he wouldn’t share it.
Berea attorney Margaret Karl was more than willing to chat about The Moms Birthday Trust — and use the story to pass along a valuable life lesson. She handled a claim for a Rolling Cash 5 prize worth $254,003 last year.
Still searching for a suitable name? No, this was a promotional Illinois Mega Millions check for $213 million from the winning store.
Her client was visiting his mother in a southern Ohio nursing home on her birthday around Halloween time. He dipped into a convenience store to grab some candy for a trick-or-treat event at the nursing home and bought the winning ticket. Thus, The Moms Birthday Trust.
“I use it as a funny story to tell people this is why you should always go visit your mothers in the nursing home because it ended up being quite a gain for him in doing so,” said Karl, who handles estate planning and elder care law.
“He was very close to his mom. It was quite a drive. I see a lot of the opposite where people don’t go visit anybody and they live around the corner. Karma can come back in a positive way.”
Hiding your face is not much use when your name, B Raymond Burton, is clearly spelled out on the check.
There surely is a fanciful story behind The Kenny’s I Trust. Is it Kenny Rogers? Kenny G? Kenny Loggins? Kenny Chensey? Kenny Lofton?
Not so fast, Willoughby attorney Jeffrey Black said. It’s just a reference to the name of the store where the $172,855 winning Twenty 20′s ticket was purchased.
As you might expect, there are several “lucky” trusts: The Lucky Duckling, Lucky Duck, Lucky Forty Eight, Luck 13, Lucky Fin and Lucky Lottery.
Winners also are appreciative of their windfall. That’s likely the reason behind The Thankful Trust Passive Trust, The Ticket to Security Trust and The Mood Swing Trust.
Of course, your mood would likely swing, too, if you won $1 million from Powerball.
Not all trusts have interesting names. Some are just plain boring such as the The Lottery Ticket Mega Millions Game Trust and The December 2017 Trust.
READ MORE: Beacon Journal
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Some of the weird names lottery winners use to claim their prizes will make you smile published first on https://188lotosite.tumblr.com/
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~MY STORY~
Hi! My name is Holly. I'm 26 years old. I'm Jewish. I am known to be the only member in my whole family that is Jewish. My family is originally Catholic & Christian, I am NOT any of them, surprisingly. I would really like to explore my Jewish faith & Jewish religion. I would like to learn how to speak the Jewish language (Hebrew & Yiddish right?), & learn how to Practice the Jewish ways. That'd be GREAT! I am a 100% REAL person & 100% NOT FAKE person behind the computer & internet, no need to worry or fear about that. I'm a REAL person! No Worries! I am "questioning" myself again (sexual orientation). I'm very confused about it! Drives me CRAZY!!! I always try to make everyone & everything happy in whatever way possible. If they're not happy, then i'm not happy so i do what i can to make them all happy, & accepting of me too. I laugh like a hyena. I think my spirit animal is a wolf, cause i have some wolf in me. I can howl like a wolf, growl like a wolf, & i feel the inner WOLF in me! I'm NOT saying this to be crazy or anything. I've noticed that I'm like a wolf too. I love the woods. I'm a HUGE SUPPORTER & FAN of Hillary Clinton. I am a HUGE Cat & Kitten (pets & animals) FAN too! We've always had them as our pets. We have two cats right now named Buddy & Kiwi. We adopted them from animal shelters. We adopted one cat who was later sick & had to be put to rest in Heaven, & crossed the Rainbow Bridge December 5, 2005! His name was Simba. I miss him sooooooo much! I'm glad that he's not suffering anymore though. I just miss him very much! Rest In Peace Forever Simba! We miss & love you very much! We've lost other family members too that really broke my heart. My grandfather died December 5, 2009, my grandmother (his wife) died September 5, 2014 (i think), a few days after my Birthday (which is September 2nd). I miss them both so much too! And I miss my other deceased family & pets too very much! I'm glad that they're not suffering anymore.I still miss them terribly! Rest In Peace Forever all of you! We miss & love you very much! *tears up sadly* My eye color is dark-green & my hair color is dark-brown, and shoulder-length. I'm overweight, but dieting to lose the weight. I'm 5'3 height too. My fave colors are black, white, gray (grey) dark-brown (like my hair color), & dark-green (like my eye color). I have mental illnesses that caused me to hear voices, hallucinate, smell, hear, feel, see, taste, & believe that there is another world where i once was before, even though it's not true or real. It just seems that way. I get a lot of treatment, & care for them, & my other health problems. I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, depression disorder, etc. I get tact tile issues, premonitions, psychic dreams, déjà vu, & had a "psychotic break" that caused me to be too sick to stay at my job, so i had to leave it behind. The HARDEST thing for me to have to do! I really liked that job. It paid well for me $8.00 an hour, part-time, lunch-breaks, rest-breaks, & very fun to do. I worked in our town's Mini Market called Kennie's Market. I worked there in their deli area. I thought that it'd be hard for me to do at first, but i did it easily! Then the NIGHTMARE happened to me! Been unemployed ever since then. I volunteer at our local, nearby SPCA animal shelter now. I am a really good person. I am shy, funny, innocent, friendly, kind, caring, loving, supportive, anti-social, introverted, have a good, & a loving personalty. I'm just like anyone else. I think of myself as "unique," & "mysterious." I am an English Major who wants to learn more about William Shakespeare, Abraham Lincoln, & the English Literature. My parents are divorced & have been for a long time. They weren't getting along with each other. I had just Graduated High School & got my very first job, at a Mini Market in their Deli area in our town Gettysburg, when they told my twin brother (not alike) & myself that they were divorcing, & that they're not getting along with each other. I became very mentally ill that same year, just after they planned to get divorced. They stayed together for awhile to help take care of me then. Then soon after they actually divorced. I was sent to a Mental Hospital the next year after getting mentally sick in 2008. I don't wanna talk about it right now. Hope that's okay. Growing up I was always bullied by people, who i thought liked me & were my real friends. In high school i was bullied & harassed so bad that i had to switch schools during junior year. I didn't deserve any of that mess & it was for no reason! I even got the same cruel treatment in Creative Writing Class there too, & had to leave the class I was very upset. No one would do anything about it even though they said they would. I switched schools and was still bullied & harassed by others but it was handled by the teacher. I don't have hardly any friends, just one good friend who i grew up with in elementary school. We're still friends, i guess. I wish that I were treated better by people. And I wish that I had REAL & ACTUAL friends, not just my family. I don't know why people aren't nice or don't like me? I'm very friendly, sweet, & funny. And just trying to be a normal person. Shame. . . I live with my mom & pets in Gettysburg. We have two cats named Buddy & Kiwi. And a new pet hamster that i named Harley (Harley Quinn from Suicide Squad & her other comics. I'm a HUGE FAN of her).My dad lives elsewhere with other people, like women he dates. He's currently dating a woman who i really like to spend time with too. She's very nice, funny, caring, & a very good person. I hope that my dad & her stay together forever, if possible. My twin brother (not alike-i only have one sibling in my family) lives on his own elsewhere or with roommates. He's a USA Marine & a Mixed Martial Arts Fighter (MMA). He's my Best Friend & my loving, caring brother! True, we fight a lot & roughhouse sometimes, but we get along mostly. He's a good brother. Just when he tries to wake me up from naps & sleep is very chaotic cause i sleep a lot cause of my medicines i take for my mental illnesses, my regular health issues, & my mental illnesses themselves. I'm still a very good person, i try to anyways. I always put other's happiness before mine, if they're happy then i'm happy too. I love to read mostly magazines, but i do read regular books like Anne Frank, Suicide Squad & Harley Quinn comic books, & other interesting books. I'm not much of a book reader anymore like i used to be years ago. I used to read books & hate writing. My cursive hand-writing is TERRIBLE! I was never good at that writing part. Now I don't read much anymore, but try to do more stories & novels so maybe someday i will be an Author of them. I started doing them in school, even though as a kid i hated writing. My cursive hand-writing is terrible! Now years later, i enjoy writing and would like to be an Author of Books & Poetry again someday. I also like to read Anime/Manga books too. My dream job is being an animal Vet or an animal Vet Tech. I love animals, not insects though. And be an Author of Books & Poetry. My mom and i volunteer at our local, nearby SPCA animal shelter & socialize with the cats & kittens there. We always love doing that when we do. I'd always joke around with my mom about adopting them, too bad we can't cause we already have two cats right now, so we can't adopt anymore cats yet, if we ever do. Oh well. . .We enjoy being around them when we go see them when we volunteer there. I love Photography, just for a hobby. I also love Art too. I'm kinda a kid-at-heart-type of person. I love cartoons & kid-stuff still. I don't watch them or watch much TV anymore though. I like music too. I only listen to music, not play it on any instruments. Though i remember just now that i'd always enjoy playing music on my grandmother's piano years ago. I mostly listen to music though. My fave sports teams on TV are San Jose Sharks, Philadelphia Flyers, Hershey Bears-Ice Hockey Teams, Penn State, Baltimore Ravens, & Ohio State Buckeyes-American Football Teams. My favorite movies are Suicide Squad, James Bond, Titanic, The Horse Whisperer, Band of Brothers, Anne Frank, etc. My favorite Anime/Manga are Sailor Moon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Hamtaro, Pokemon, Blue Exorcist, Black Butler, Naruto, Inuyasha, etc. My favorite music bands are Evanescence, We are the Fallen, My Chemical Romance, Disturbed, Within Temptation, Bullet for my Valentine, Korn, Godsmack, Breaking Benjamin, Avril Lavigne, Skillet, Avenged Sevenfold, etc. Well Folks. . .I've run out of things to tell you about me for now. If you wanna know more, feel free to ask me anytime!
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Meant to be Yours CHAPTER 6 (Ereri/EreMika)
Levi glanced Erens way when a loud slurping sound reached his ears, the kid did love his slushies, that's for sure. Usually, the sound would irritate him but, with Eren, he found it kind of... Endearing? Almost calming in a strange way.
What the Hell was this kid doing to him? He barley knew him and yet he was thinking about these stupid little things and he still couldn't get those damned ocean eyes out of his head by the end of the day. This was supposed to part in his 'adventure' he called life in which that only the scenery changed but everything boringly stays the same, wasn't it? Why didn't it feel like that? With every move his Uncle put him through, it was the same shit, just in a different city.
He needed to put a pause on his train of thought before he collapsed in on himself. Levi sighed and took a big sip of his own slush, taking the intentional brain freeze like the champ he was. He was a veteran when it came to stopping his brain from overthinking, freezing it in its tracks before he went insane. He was thankful for every 7/11 slushie machine he grew dependant on in every place he was made to move to. He would live there if he could, anything would be better than living in different houses with Kenny and starting over every fucking couple months.
"Woah, don't inhale it. You'll give yourself brain freeze." Eren warned, looking to the shorter male almost in amazement as he casually sipped his icy joy
"That's the point." He faintly smirked
"Wait, you're tying to do that? Do you have any idea how much that freaking hurts?..." He blinked, looking almost completely dumbfounded.
Levi wanted to laugh at Erens expression, he did this on that much of a regular basis he was surprised he doesn't suffer permeant migraines by now, he supposed it was the most innocent form of self-harm. In a way.
Levi was about to come up with some smart comment in response to Erens question when he paused, holding his cold cup tighter for a moment as an image flashed before his eyes suddenly. It was one that always haunted him for what felt like forever, but in reality, he wasn't sure how long it had been sine the... Incident. He felt his eye twitch a bit as he quickly clasped a hand over his mouth at the sudden sickening feeling in his stomach. He averted his gaze, rubbing his head and closing his eyes for a moment after the sickness subsided. Eren playfully nudged his arm and laughed slightly "See, I told you. Those things will kill you if you keep that up. Doesn't your Mom tell you to not have too much of those?" Eren teased
Levi sighed and smiled slightly sadly, shaking his head a bit "Not anymore."
Eren paled slightly, horrified at the reaction he got from his thoughtless comment and internally facepalming harder than he did before as he pieced it together. Never before had he felt this much regret over saying something so carelessly. "Ah, shit.. I'm sorry, that was stupid.. I just assumed-"
"It's fine. You're as clumsy with your words as you are on your feet. Bet you'd suck at topping too." He smirked slightly to himself
Eren blushed darkly and bit his lip slightly as he kicked himself further, noticing Levis voice missing its usual harsh edge to it now, unsure if he even noticed. His voice was actually kind of soothing when it turned soft like this...
He shook his head, now wasn't the time for distracting thoughts he'd most likely think about later when he was trying to sleep at night. But maybe he could make a start in finally decoding the mysterious Levi. There was so many notes about him he wanted to write down already.
"Do you wanna talk about it?..." Eren lightly placed a hand on his shoulder, setting his slushie down on near by counter in the store. God knows why they hadn't left yet, Eren had only ever usually been in and out after completing the goal of getting what he needed, and these stores weren't exactly big either. And he defiantly noticed Levi lingering around the aisles, seeing his hesitation to leave straight away.
"What is there to talk about?..."
"Anything and everything. I mean, you're still sort of a stranger to me and well, everyone else in town for that matter."
He sighed "Why are so infatuated with me...?"
Eren simply smiled a bit, pulling himself up on the counter and grabbing his slush again to quietly drink it, signalling he was all ears and that he wasn't moving until he got at least some information out of him.
Those fucking eyes...
Levi pulled himself up on the counter next to him and sighed heavily, taking another large sip of his slush and letting the cold work it's magic on his brain, closing his steel eyes for another moment. Eren blinked, slightly surprised. Sure, he was shorter than him but he made that look too easy for someone of his height. He shook his head, disregarding any thoughts of what Levi may look like under his shirt as he went back to focusing on the dark raven.
He rested his chin on his hand and leaned forward a bit, gathering his thoughts "I've been through ten high schools, they start to get blurry I guess since I've moved around so much. My Uncle works in constru- Well, demolition actually." He rolled his eyes at the thought as he corrected himself before continuing "There's never any point in actually staying in one place or getting used to anything, or even planting roots anywhere for that matter, because one day you're there and then the next, you're easily gone and forgotten in a second. Everything I actually need fits into one suitcase that I keep packed, so it's only a matter of when." He sighed "I've never really bothered to learn or remember names or faces of anyone in any of the schools or areas I've lived in... This time, it sort of feels... Different I guess? I don't exactly know why either." He glanced at him for a moment going on "It's annoying because I know I'll just move again in a matter of six weeks or so... So, you know..." He shrugged
"That sounds... Pretty rough." Eren frowned a bit "I'm sorry you have to live like that, I mean, I'm sure you've at least made a couple friends in your travels..."
"Not one. Like I said, it's pointless. You're not there long enough for anyone to care or want to keep in touch with you and I just don't care enough to want to make friends. Everyone's always just the same stereotypical people just with different appearances."
"Well... We're friends, right?..."
Levi blinked, he never thought of it like that. Was this how friends acted together? Hanging out in a 7/11 and talking about their life story about being on the road?... "I... Um... I guess?..."
What the Hell was this abnormal feeling? And why the Hell was he suddenly feeling nervous all of a sudden?... He didn't like whatever these gross and sudden emotions were but he did like the change in pace, that's for sure. This was the one thing other than his locker combination that had changed this time.
Eren smiled brightly and Levis whole thought process stopped for a second, the phrase 'If looks could kill' Suddenly came to mind. He quickly shook it off and took another big sip of forgetfulness.
"So, um, to put myself in the position of being a possible dick again, if you don't mind me asking, I've sort of noticed you have something of an attachment to this place, or at least that's what it looks like from how you wander around the aisles. You say you moved around a lot, have you been here before or?... What's the connection exactly?... You know, if there is one?..." Eren asked cautiously, suddenly curious.
"You noticed that, did you?" He exhaled an amused breath "This place is the only place that doesn't change. Anywhere I move to, there always been one of these places not too far. The same food, postcards, slushie machines, anywhere, anytime..." He sighed "It keeps me sane... To just forget everything that exists outside those store doors and get lost in the aisles. It might sound weird, but who cares." He shrugged
"I don't think it's weird at all." Eren smiled slightly, leaning against him a bit
Levi blinked, he knew Eren was different, but God, he didn't expect him to be... Perfect? Did something like that even exist?... "Thanks... I guess..."
"Of course. So, another thing, do you... Do you actually give yourself brain freeze on purpose or are you just a masochist?"
Levi smirked to himself "Maybe a bit of both. I live on those slushies, you know." He sighed softly "There's really just... Nothing but brain freeze in my life. I'd take that over overthinking any day. Who needs to hurt themselves or do drugs when you can get your happiness from ice-induced headaches that are so painful sometimes that you just forget everything for a split-second? I've not exactly had an easy life." He stated simply, finishing off his slushie and throwing the cup in a near by trashcan effortlessly "Why even bother planning your future when you know the world is just gonna fuck you over or take something away from you? I mean, you look pretty happy and perfect right now and I can bet that planning shit out is exactly what you're doing; That you'll study hard in school and get over-the-top grades and land an amazing job and get married to some pretty girl and have kids, but that's gonna change. All I'm saying is that you should build some walls while you're so far ahead. Don't let life fuck you over without any protection." He sighed with a shrug
"Wait, wasn't that a slogan for a condom advert?..." Eren shook his head "Never mind that, so, in other words, it's sort of like a distraction? I guess it's not causing you any real harm..." He bit his lip before he smiled slightly to himself "Maybe I can eventually get you out of that habbit, eh? I can help you stop doing it to intentionally hurt yourself maybe just by with just sharing the occasionally slushie... Um... With me?..." He blushed lightly "You know, unless you wanna keep assuming the future and outcome of my love life..."
"Are you asking me out, cherry boy?..." He smirked, raising an eyebrow
Eren blushed darkly "Maybe..." He quickly distracted himself with finishing off the rest of his slush, practically sucking it dry even after there was nothing left, simply using it as a prop, a crutch so that he wouldn't have to think about that adorable blush plastered on his face. His cheeks almost matching the colour of his cherry-stained lips.
And how he couldn't help but think about how they'd taste and what else those amazing lips would look perfect wrapped around like they were that lucky straw... Perfect. Eren Yeager was perfect for him.
"You got yourself a deal, Eren. Lastly, my point was to not let the world take away your life. Never listen to the voice inside your head than thinks giving up or even death will be an easier solution or escape. its not. Just..." He smiled faintly "Freeze your brain."
For the first time, Levi felt a genuine creeping smile threaten to crack his lips. When was the last time he felt... Happy?
"Really? That's great" Eren grinned "And I've never surrendered to those kind of thoughts before. I mean, it's hard not to right now but you know. You have to keep going to get what you want..." He shrugged and smiled
Levi slightly envied how a smile made it's way so easy and naturally onto those lips, but he was beginning to adore it. He could smile that much for the both of them.
"So, Uh..." Eren continued "Your Mom, what happened to her? If it's not too much to talk about of course, no pressure... I just want to get to know you better."
Levi blinked, that image suddenly coming back to him. His Mother in that window, just waving then...
Nothing.
He shook his head, taking a breath.
"Sorry, I should know when to quit while I'm ahead. You can talk about her when you're ready to. You just look like you're carrying so much baggage on your own... I wanna help carry some."
"I... It's fine, I don't mind..." He took a breath "Where to start... I guess when Mom was alive, we sort of lived halfway normal. I guess. Things used to be more... Bearable... With her around."
"So, your Uncle, what's he like?..."
"Unbearable..." He muttered "But Mom..." He sighed "I guess I just miss having her around, I think my Uncle was the one that sent her to an early grave..."
"You mean he...?"
"No, not exactly..." He shook his head "You've probably heard of my Uncles demolition company before, Ackerman Demolition?"
"Woah, so your last names Ackerman then? The jingle and the slogan for that commercial is everywhere."
"Yeah, it's super fucking annoying..." He shook his head "Anyway, my Mom walked into a building that he rigged to go off in only a matter of minutes while he were still living in Texas at one point, and she just goes to this open window on the second floor and waves to me, smiling... Then boom, she was gone. There was barley enough of her left to burry with the shit ton of TNT that he used... The Norwegian in the basement and the several thermals upstairs..." He sighed, now craving one of his cigarettes. "I just hope she didn't feel anything." He hopped off the counter, taking out his pack of cigarettes and putting one of them between his lips. "After her suicide/murder- Whatever you wanna call it, me and Kennys relationship just became more toxic than it already was. Not like it a great to begin with anyway, he never wanted my Mother to have a kid because it was too much of a problem, so we just never liked eachother from the start. He was more fixated on his work after she died too, you'd think he'd be the opposite since he technically killed her." He spoke with his cigarette in his mouth "So, after everything, I learned to do things myself; from cooking to paying bills. I didn't need anyone or anything and I knew that the world was never going to pay me or anyone else back of every bad thing that happens in life, so you just live with it."
Eren blinked "Wow... So you really have been through Hell then, huh? No wonder you keep to yourself.." He sighed sadly before looking up at him again "Can I have one?.."
"You smoke?"
"Occasionally. More so when I'm stressed the Hell out due to my 'Friends' or out drinking."
"You drink?" He raised an eyebrow
"Duh. What guy my age doesn't? "
"Fair enough. So do I." He shrugged, giving him one "I mean, who wouldn't drink with friends like yours..." He grimaced "I don't like your friends, they're bad people that don't even contribute anything. I've not been here for that long an even I can see that. They make everyone miserable, including those stupid ass Jocks that think they run the school"
"Yeah, again, thanks for that..." Eren sighed "I don't like my friends either you know, I'm just around them so other people like them leave me alone. It's sorta like a business trade. Not everyone likes their job. I hate mine but I get something out of it. It's sort of like our job is being popular and shit."
"So what is it they want from you exactly?"
"Forged handwriting." He sighed "I've never exactly used it for evil before, just things like skipping boring classes sometimes."
He raised an eyebrow, an impressed look in his eyes "Well, you're not as innocent as I thought, Cherry boy." He smirked
Erens face darkened "Would you quit calling me that? God..." He stuttered to which Levi found amusement.
The two walked out the store and lit up "Come on, I'll take you home." He said, taking in a draw and breathing out smoke.
"You don't need to do that" He hummed, doing the same
"You don't have a car, right?"
"Well, no, but-"
"But nothing. We'll finish these and then we'll jump on." He said, leaning against a shiny black motorbike as he continued to smoke
Eren blinked, almost choking on his cigarette "No way, that's yours?!..."
"It's just a perk from Kennys company." He shrugged
"I'd kill for one of these babys..." He circled around the bike in awe
"Maybe it'll come down to that." Levi mused, laughing under his breath
Eren blinked and tilted his head a bit, shaking his head after a moment and brushing the joke off "Oh yeah, because I'm a killer." He laughed a bit
He swore he saw steel eyes flash something intriguingly fierce for a moment before Levi quickly savoured the last taste of his cigarette, stubbing it out afterwards and tossing it's remains to the ground "Ready to go?" His bike suddenly roared to life.
Eren did the same after finishing his cigarette before hopping onto the backseat, wrapping his arms around Levis waist tightly and leaning his head against his shoulder "Ready."
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*This post is based on season 1. Spoilers ahead!
Season 2 is shaping up to be just as silly but some of my favourite people are in it. DORIAN (Michael Ealy). O’LAUGHLIN (Eric Winter). PETER MILLS (Charlie Barnett). LEM (Kenny Johnson). Wait. Those are fictional characters. Anyway.
Ben Crawford is a self-employed contractor, married to Christy with whom he has two daughters, Natalie, 16, and Abby, 12. His best friend, Dave, lives in their summer house. They have a neighbor, Jess, who is estranged from her husband Scott, who is in the military. Jess and Scott have a five year old son named Tom.
While out for an early morning run, Ben discovers Tom’s body; he was evidently taken from his bed into the woods and killed by six blows to the head from a flashlight.
Detective Cornell is convinced Ben is the killer, Ben cannot prove his innocence because he suffered a blackout after going out drinking with Dave following a fight with Christy over her suspicion of an affair with Jess.
Here’s how to bore your audience.
1. Lull us into a false sense of Ryan Phillipe being attractive enough to keep us watching
He’s not.
Okay, he is. But still. The premise was interesting but the delivery…I kept waiting for it to get interesting because I love mysteries but it didn’t. Each episode would highlight another suspect before it was explained away somehow by the next episode in the silliest fashion possible. All of the secrets and lies were a bit…meh, really.
2. Depress us into not being able to mock the show
The show does everything in its power to ensure that we see as many flashback of the dead kid as possible. Everyone is miserable. One episode was dedicated to Ben Crawford being tortured (for real) and it was up there with the worst episodes of anything that I’ve ever seen. The music, colour – it was all bland. The acting…was like they were trying to readjust to life after being trapped in a cryogenic chamber. It wasn’t bad per se, but the material was limited. The scripts were average and it just stumbled along slowly.
3. Make the killer obvious
For me it was obvious…because the writers made it obvious. In the very first episode, Abby, Ben’s preteen daughter calmly accepts that Tom is dead. She even assures the father that she knows he didn’t do it. However, she starts sobbing hysterically when she discovers that Tom was her brother. After the first episode I said she better not be the killer and looked it up.
She was!
4. Allow Juliette Lewis to do what she was doing for ten episodes
Wooden. Emotionless. It was akin to watching an actual plank of plywood masquerading as a human being. When I eventually write my robot movie, I’m going to cast Juliette Lewis as the lead. I’m confident that she will be the best for the role. It was a very clichéd performance as a tough as nails female cop, although, maybe that’s what the showrunner wanted. It was a bit ridiculous, though.
For what it’s worth, she’s much better during season 2.
5. Make all of the characters terrible
Ben – had an affair; fathered Tom. Never did the math.
In an inspired moment, he tries to buy a gun despite the fact that he’s all over the news as a potential murder suspect.
Top notch disguise
Ben also hides the murder weapon when it miraculously turns up in truck. He also sleeps with Jess again and tries to convince everyone that the fact that she’s bipolar = crazy and dangerous!
Okay, she did throw a knife at his head and falsely accuse him of rape but still.
Wife – had a secret abortion, has an affair in retaliation to Ben’s affair. Walks around wearing expensive jewelry given to her by another dude. Has way more money than Ben, including a huge trunk of cash that her brother gave her (or something stupid like that).
Live in best friend Dave: He drugged Ben on the night of the murder to make him ‘loosen up’ and doesn’t inform him of this even though Ben is suspected of murder and is struggling to remember his alibi or y’know, what the fuck he did that night. Dave is generally awful. Loud. Drinks and yells a lot. He was clearly meant as comic relief but instead he was just irritating.
Teenage daughter (Natalie): She spent most of the season sulking and slinking off to her room.
Preteen daughter/murderer (Abby):
Brat.
Spoiled.
Daddy‘s gurl.
Wants her parents to be together forever.
Knows that Ben slept with Jess (the neighbour).
Conned Tom into following her into the woods by saying that his Dad would comeback if he ran away from home.
Deliberately damages her brand new phone because she was angry at her Dad & Jess being together at a fair.
Oh and she killed a five year old boy!
Jess: Lies about her husband being abusive. Lies about Ben raping her. But she was grieving so, all in all, she wasnt too bad of a character. They also have Ben find an urn in her house and discover that she has another dead child. Twas a bit much on the writers parts.
Neighbours: Sad people with either sad backstories or a tendency to torture people on account of being an ex-CIA agent.
6. Leave the ending open…
…but put up a unofficial ending on the ABC website anyway.
Miraculously, Ben discovers a pair of bloodied sneakers right at the end of the show. He’s just been cleared of the murder but what he doesn’t know is that the next theory is that his daughter killed Tom. When he confronts her, she’s apologetic and claims she was just trying to keep the family together and was trying to get Jess to move away. They all fall for that bullshit because they don’t know that she hit Tom six times over the head with a torch and tried to frame Jess by leaving a bloodstained jacket in her bathtub.
Ben decides to take the fall for her, thus rendering the entire season useless. I mean, blah, blah, blah, fatherly love — she not only killed someone but she successfully evaded capture and managed to cover her tracks? Is there no TV justice in this world?
This was my expression too
After his confession, Abby and her mom abscond, but the other daughter refuses to go with them. Smart girl. Especially because in the car Abby goes into evil child mode and reveals that her intention was to drown Tom and that none of this would have happened if they’d made it to the water. Her mom stares on with ‘well, shit’ eyes but it’s too late.
The show more or less ends there.
However, the online companion series had an additional clip where we find out that Ben died in prison and that the detective is still on the case. Why it wasn’t on the show itself is a mystery to me.
It was far more interesting than the show itself which rambled on for so long before ending amidst a sea of silliness.
Verdict: 5/10. It was mildly entertaining and well, they kinda lulled me into a false sense of Ryan Phillipe is attractive enough to keep me watching.
How To Bore Your Audience (As Told By ABC’s “Secret & Lies US”*) *This post is based on season 1. Spoilers ahead! Season 2 is shaping up to be just as silly but some of my favourite people are in it.
#abc#review#ryan phillipe#secrets and lies#secrets and lies US#shitty tv writers yo#snark#snarkview#TV
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