#keith is lactose intolerant

[fandomination666-blog]

Okay so if Keith is lactose intolerant and grew up in texas, specifically west Texas, he can't eat at half the restaurants without getting sick. Mexican food. So much cheese. So when Lance invites him to have dinner with the family in cuba (either as friends or lovers, don't matter) he's worried he's gonna end up throwing up. Imagine his relief to discover that traditional cuban food has WAY less cheese, cause its a tropical island that doesn't bode well for cows (Castro tried lol)

Oh and Lance finds it hilarious when Keith mentions this to him

[starshineswirl]

“Keith! Dinner!” Adam calls, setting the last of the table as Takashi sets down a huge pan of chicken fajitas. It’s more than he would usually cook, but ever since Keith turned 17, he’d hit a massive growth spurt that was apparently accompanied by the ability to eat everything and anything.

But as Keith finally waddles into the kitchen, Adam still can’t help smirking; despite the “massive growth spurt,” his kid is still a good head shorter then him, and the comparison is even more stark when he stands next to Takashi.

“You ready for dinner?” Takashi asks as he hands him a plate.

Keith only stares. “I can’t eat this.”

“…why not?” Adam raises an eyebrow at him, only mildly threatening as he remembers how long it took him to cook it.

“There’s no dairy.”

Takashi and Adam just stare. Keith rolls his eyes, apparently assuming that they were up-to-date with his dietary needs.

“I need to eat a lot of dairy.”

“Do I want to know why?” Takashi sighs.

Keith smirks and scratches at the bare stubble growing alongside his chin. “All the guys on my flight team are growing beards for finals.”

“And what are you doing?” Adam shoots back without thought. He has to bite his lip at the pout that immediately forms on Keith’s face.

“Very funny. I’ll have you know that I’m only three days in — I’m showing above average hair growth for someone my age.” Keith says proudly. 

Takashi turns and gives Adam an exasperated look, somewhere between, “What’s wrong with him?” And “This wasn’t in the parenting books.” Adam only sighs.

“Fine. So you’re growing a beard. And this relates to your refusal to eat chicken because…?”

“I’m on a strict all-diary diet to improve hair growth. Duh.”

“Are you aware…” Takashi starts, pinching the bridge of his nose. Adam swears he sees another gray hair form on his fíance’s head. “That you are lactose intolerant?”

Keith only rolls his eyes. “Relax, I got it covered.”

“How?”

“I take my lactose pills around the clock now.”

“That’s not…"

“Will you relax? I got it covered. I take one before every meal now. Like today, I had yogurt and milk for breakfast and McClain snuck a huge block of cheese in for lunch — I think he got it from Garrett in the cafeteria — and for dinner I was going to have ice cream.”

Adam puts his face in his hands. He remembers being stupid at 17, but not this stupid. 

“Keith, this make work now, but if you keep it up your body will eventually reject all the diary you try to give it.” Takashi groans. “And you can’t eat like that! Just have some chicken.”

“Anything non-dairy can hinder my hair growth!” Keith says hotly. “Look, I have the second fastest growth on the team and I intend to keep it that way. You guys eat, I’ll make something else. If I want to keep growing in my hair at this trajectory I have to keep myself on a strict all-diary diet!”

With that, he gets up from the dinning table and stomps off to the kitchen. Takashi sighs as he heard the huge tub of ice cream get taken out of the freezer.

“When should we put a stop to this?” He mutters to Adam.

Adam only took a bite nonchalantly. “When he pukes his guts out in three days.”

Takashi hesitated, but then he heard the blender go off as Keith mixed the ice cream with milk.

“Sounds good.” 

[keithkog]

If I’m quiet enough I could hear myself screaming internally because I just digested a lot of milk..

And I’m at least a little lactose intolerant..

Do I just love torturing myself? Is that it??

-Keith

[cryptidseeker]

keith, on the phone, sitting on the toilet and panting: and i thought i was dying, it was tERRIBLE and ugh, im never eating ice cream again. The most explosive shit in my life, seriously, if i ever buy anything dairy again just punch me in the gut, it will be less painful than what's happening right now— [goes on with graphic descriptions of his lactose intolerance and bad consequences]

shiro, on his date with adam, with candles and rose petals, and a ring in his pocket, picked up the call because Keith almost never calls, so he panicked bc thought it was something urgent:

[cianluujpeg]

cannot believe y’all would rather have keith shit himself over lance being a surfer

[lzzily]

Betraying my guitarist roots by choosing Lactose intolerant Keith

[seasononesam]

autistic dean winchester

Generally, they were good about cleaning out the room. There was that one time in Key West when Dean had left the tin of salt next to the bed, and had insisted on turning the car around on Route 1 and heading back to retrieve it. Sam had asked why they couldn't just go to a supermarket and get another one-it was a pretty common household item, after all-but Dean had insisted that it was the principle of the thing. Which had been fine right up until the clerk asked why the two brothers had a big tin of salt in their hotel room, and Dean had gotten that wide-eyed look he got when somebody went off the script. With Sam watching and not even bothering to hide his grin, Dean had stammered for about half an hour before coming up with something about lactose intolerance. - Supernatural novel (Nevermore, by Keith R.A. DeCandido)

[theandato]

No, please continue rambling. It’s not like I wouldn’t like to hear every detail you have to spare. Because I would. 👀

gah oh em gee……..

—keith has 16 piercings in total (5 in each ear, 1 eyebrow piercing, 2 lip rings, a belly button piercing, a prince albert (basically a ring that goes through his dick, don’t look it up if you’re squeamish!), and a scrotum piercing)

—the heart tattoo on the underside of his dick was actually drawn by sofia lmaooo

—he’s slightly lactose intolerant! he won’t throw up or shit himself, but he will get a pretty bad stomachache and probably the worst gas imaginable

—he, for the life of him, cannot tell when someone is flirting with him

—keith’s gas is pretty long, bubbly, and always sounds a bit wet. sometimes he feels kind of bad for farting in sofia’s mouth— he knows they’re that bad 😞

—that’s another thing! while he *claims* he’s not into the kink, but he suggests (albeit a bit shy and indirectly) sofia ‘help him out’ with his gas more than sofia actually asks to

—sometimes he’ll be post-strenuous-shit and he’ll ask her to eat him out— under the premise that her warm tongue helps soothe the ache. anddddd sometimes he has a little gas left over. so what? he can’t help it!

—his intestinal issues have only gotten worse since he’s started going to the gym— his maintenance cals are pretty high, not to mention his protein goal is in the 200s. i’m here to tell you that his protein farts specifically could kill a grown man.

[anonymouszephyrus]

Voltron Characters Headcanons, go!

FINALLY! I HAVE.. too many..

Let's start with the original Red & Blue duo:

KEITH (Aka. He isn't emo, just unique)

- Demisexual Homoromantic (Yes.) - He/Him Pronouns - Full Name Headcanon: Keith's full name is “Keith Akira Kogane” and other languages. However, I like to think that Keith's father (whom I've named: Hyeong-Min, Hyeon by itself means “Virtuous or Worthy” and Min means “Sharp-minded” which I think fits someone who is Keith's dad.) His surname in Japan is Kogane, yes. But in Korea, it would be Kim. As both Kim and Kogane mean “Gold” in Korean and Japanese. This does mean that Keith has a Korean name along with his usual one. I'm choosing to go along with the idea that when Hyeong-min's parents left Korea and moved to Texas, they gave him a Korean name but when Hyeong-min and Krolia had Keith, they chose to gave him multiple names depending where he was. TLDR; (Japanese - Akira Kogane; Korean - Ki-Joo or Ki-Joon Kim/Kogane; Common - Keith Akira Kogane.) - Absolute Literature nerd (He spent a shit long time in that cabin. There's no way Adam or Shiro hadn't found him before and given him books or something to occupy himself.) - I love having him as Japanese-Korean + Half-Galra but he was raised in Texas so he's forgotten a lot of his Korean since no one was there to continuously talk to him in the language like his dad did. Shiro talks Japanese with him so that one is still fine. Keith's been trying to relearn Korean but it's hard since he gets sad (and mad) when thinking about his dad. - He wears eyeliner. Shiro taught him to. - He wears too many rings. And whenever he has to wash his hands, he takes them off, and Lance practically faints every time Keith flexes his hands to ensure his rings are in place. - Despite being touch-repulsed, Keith is so fucking touch-starved it's unreal. - Keith only calls Shiro “Takashi” when he's mad or sad. No in-between. One time he did it was when he was younger, Shiro beat him in Mario Kart and he got so mad, he screamed: "I'm disowning myself from you, Takashi!" and Shiro almost cried. - Keith's Galra side only comes out when he's focused, mad, or extremely flustered about something. Lance teased him to no end one time and his skin started turning purple. - After Allura and Keith had their talk, Allura's been trying to make his little Galra situation better. If she sees him slowly turning purple and becoming anxious about it, she'll turn purple too for the remainder of his ordeal. (And then it becomes a “who wears purple the best”) - Keith loves music, he likes to play the keyboard or piano at times, only problem is that he's a bit tone-deaf (which is surprising considering he actually is pretty good at playing those instruments.) - He is lactose-intolerant, only that he doesn't give a shit and does continuously eat or drink dairy products, it doesn't make him sick though because of his Galra genes... but he does, quite literally, destroy the bathroom.

LANCE (Aka. Too many sad shit)

- Bisexual Disaster (with a hint of internalized homophobia) - He/Him Pronouns - Full Name Headcanon: His real name is Leandro Agustín Nuñez Carmen Esposita-McClain, shortened to Lance McClain. Just like @autisticlancemcclain's headcanon, I love it a lot. (Sorry for the ping, if it did) - All his siblings have acronym names along with their mother. Mervin, headcanon McClain papa's name, is the only one without one. - Lance has central heterochromia, meaning the inner ring of his eyes are brown whilst the rest is blue. Kinda like this:

(This is a picture I got off Google, please don't sue me. And yes, I know it's more orange than brown but I couldn't find a good enough reference to show you all, basically it's just like that except the middle is much darker) - He's constantly terrified he'll forget things from Earth. Like his sense of time, the way colors are, the way the light moves, the moon changing every night, everything. Not just because of you know, Voltron and stuff, but because he has memory issues too. - He accidentally forgot the name of his niece and nephew one time and panicked afterward as he scrambled to think of what they were. Now, he has little notes in his pocket that holds all his family members' names. - Lance is a prodigy at playing music, specifically guitars but he doesn't think he's good after the last time he played in a competition, he got absolutely destroyed and insulted by one of the other sour competitors that he never tried to play a guitar again because everytime he tries to, that memory keeps coming back and it's one of the many reasons he has such low self-esteem. - He thought he was sick the first time he had a crush on a guy from the first week of being in the Garrison (it was Keith) and rang up his mother only to be politely told that he wasn't sick. - Lance often tries to write little poems for Keith because he knows how much he likes literature only to throw it allow or out the airlock when he thinks it isn't good enough. It leads to the first poem Keith received from him being the most romantic and elegantly made poem he's ever read... (and he only got it because Lance forgot where he left it when he was planning on throwing it away again) - Despite being a flirt, Lance cannot handle being flirted with. Keith is surprisingly smooth with his comebacks (it's only when he doesn't try). - Keith sometimes accidentally (or purposefully, depending on the situation) initiates physical affection and it flusters Lance to no end. - He prefers wearing gold because Keith told him one time that it suited him. Aka: Keith's opinion of anything Lance wears is what he sticks to as a fashion choice.

I've got more for the other characters! Stay tune for those. Next up: Pidge & Hunk, the lil' nerd duo!

PART: 2 & 3

[goth1c-pinki3-pi3]

here, have a cookie (head cannon that means nothing but is slightly silly)

Keith has a walnut allergy and is lactose intolerant.

Shockingly, Keith neither tans nor burns in the sun, however certain spots of him look bruised if he spend too much time in the sun (my thoughts is that it's kinda like superman getting powers from certain lights, but the suns made of quintessens (???) and turns certain bits of his skin to the shade it would have been had he been born galra).

[incorrect-kidge-quotes]

Pidge: Should you be drinking that? Aren't you lactose intolerant?

Keith: *a bum who raised himself in the desert for years*

Keith: This isn't lactose, it's milk :)

Pidge: ...

Pidge: Keith, you know I love you, but please, please, between the fact you thought your blood type was "red" and now this, for the love of quiznack pick up a high-school level science textbook!

Keith: *slowly slurps on his milk* 😑

Keith: The only science I need is a) where vital organs are; b) how much force is needed to critically harm a vital organ; c) how to fly; and d) how to repair my vehicle so I can fly it some more.

Pidge: I am going to educate you if it's the last thing I do.

[spaceaces00]

Voltron Spring Headcanons!

Everyone has allergies

It’s space tho so I think how allergies present can be WAY DIFFERENT and WAY WEIRD

Pidge and Keith get food allergies but specifically in one galaxy to a certain produce that made them turn purple.

There was a planet where when Lance drank the water he would speak in a different language that definitely wasn’t anything he knew (Pidge thinks it was a dead language for sure)

Hunk had regular ass allergies to pollen but just kept sneezing until someone clapped

Shiro hasn’t gotten any and the team are so petty about it

Coran is lactose intolerant (somehow??)

Allura has one against some subspecies of animals and she’s always sad she can’t say hello to them

[soulreapin]

Keith is a chronic tummy ache haver (because he is gods bravest warrior)

keith is gods bravest everything because i think this poor wet cat got afflicted with EVERYTHING

tummy aches migraines nausea joint aches the whole shebang

hes also lactose intolerant and thus he is miserable All. The. Time.

him and lactaid are like this 🤞🤞

[bluemantics]

Post-Battle Hurt/Comfort Klance

“Where’s Lance?” Keith heard Hunk whisper behind his back to Pidge. Even though he knew Hunk was worried, Keith didn’t turn back. For some reason, despite knowing where Lance was, and despite the fact that Hunk was literally way more equipped to handle Lance, Keith chose not to tell Hunk anything.

Instead, he pulled his helmet off his head and shoved it under his arm. 

Inhale. Exhale. 

The black paladin left the lions’ hangar, head held high, retreating into the quieter lights of the castle hallway. As he walked, his footsteps echoed, the empty hum of the castle louder than it’d ever been before. Keith knew, though, that today was different, that the battle they’d just finished was a defining moment Lance wouldn’t ever forget.

Maybe he prevented Hunk from knowing Lance’s location because he knew these situations better than Hunk. Every member of Team Voltron had made sacrifices before, but few one quite like this, so personal and close. Keith had, though; he’d suffered through loss after loss and been the cause of suffering. Hunk, soft and warm as a teddy bear, wasn’t exactly the right messenger for what needed to be said.

Keith slowed in front of a door. He pressed the button to slide it open and stepped into the room. Awkwardly, he pushed his bangs up on his forehead, looking into the room that Coran had engineered for Kaltenecker. 

Designed just like an Earth meadow, the room looked almost expansive, with grass and flowers dotting the ground in a plush carpet. Outside the room, it was metallic, gray, and icy, a relic from a past that the humans on the Castle-ship often felt disconnected from. Inside the meadow, though, the starry blanket followed the light-rhythms of the ship, and were currently mimicking a North American view of the stars. 

Offhandedly, Keith picked out Pegasus and Ursa Major, before his eyes finally came to rest on Lance’s form. 

Only Coran and Keith knew where Lance came when he wanted to be alone. Coran, because Lance had entrusted him with the information. Keith, because he’d accidentally walked in on Lance at 0100 hours, when Keith (who was known to be lactose intolerant) tried to sneak past Hunk’s defenses to get milk for a milkshake. 

Desperate times, in his defense.

Now, though, Lance was much less responsive to Keith entering. He lay flat on his back in the meadow, hands pillowed behind his head as he stared up at the starry expanse. As if he was underwater, the blue hues danced across his skin, hiding his expression from view. He was as still as stone.

Keith walked in. Careful not to disturb Lance, Keith laid down next to him, staring the same way Lance was. They were less than a foot apart. Keith could see the rise and fall of Lance’s chest through his armor, which he hadn’t even bothered to take off. It wasn’t comfortable– Keith hadn’t bothered either– but Lance didn’t seem to notice.

KEEP READING ON AO3:

[cryptidseeker]

keith kogane's nightmare #52367847: discovering that the reason all these treats on this planet are so mild and not overwhelmingly sweet is because they use alien lactose as a regular sugar/sweetener instead of alien sucrose.

AFTER trying each and every of them.

[the-feral-gremlin]

Allergies I think Voltron characters have:

Keith has an allergy to grass, not like the sneezing when around it or anything but the kind where if their skin makes contact with it, it feels like he’s being bitten by fire ants. Lance once tackled him down a hill and it was not fun for either of them. (I have this allergy so I’m kinda speaking from experience.)

I just think Hunk is mild-ish allergic to cats. He sneezes SO much when there’s one around but he really wants to pet one.

I think Allura and Coran are both allergic to bees, both earth and Altean. So Coran always brings an epi pen wherever he goes and makes Allura have one on her too.

Lance is allergic to food coloring and most seafood.

Adam and Shiro are both lactose intolerant. They both got really good at finding dairy free alternatives for different foods that they knew they both liked.

Matt and Pidge are both deathly allergic to peanuts. (Matt spent so fucking long explaining deez nuts jokes to Keith because he kept making them and Keith was worried.)

Romelle is allergic to Juneberries and dairy.

Krolia is allergic to those space catapillars (the ones that were attached to hunk in that one episode.)