#keeps pill from getting stuck in the cheek when swallowing

[patchiko]

what do u think ak!jays love language (i think that’s what it’s called 😭) is? also, what type of love language do you think he’d like?? like acts of service, words of affirmation, etc.

also random headcanon but i feel like both ak and comic jay r both good cooks it’s just the vibe i get

-🪽anon

Ahkendidhso Ive written about this before but my brainrot my lovely 🪽 anon…

tw; religious themes but their very very very super metaphorical i pinky swear chat. #i love religious themes as a way to metaphorically talk about devotion

Jason Todd is as devoted to his lover as a martyr to their grace. His faith to his loved one is almost insufferable at its core.

Like in a,’ My lungs only breathe because I have faith in your purity. ’ way, so anyways yeah Quality Time and Acts Of Service.

Quality Time- Jaaon can barely pry himself from your presence at times, and yet he does. Though every moment he’s away from you feels sardonic, like that viscous black ooze that he’s named ‘hate’ is getting bigger. Once he even gets a moment of your time his mind melts. He slowly allows himself to indulge in your presence, but in the most unhealthy way possible. Jason tried to keep himself away, he really did, but he always found his feet dragging to you.

Maybe its the little sacrificial lamb in him, the yearn for a greater good in his destruction. Thats what he believe he was conditioned to be, ’The Greater Good.’ Batman cleaned him from the dirt-stricken filth of Gotham alleyways; Batman would make his coat pure and holy, he learned to achieve that ‘Greater-Good’ when Batman wrapper that rope around his neck and lead him to that devil, or saint, he couldn’t tell the two apart sometimes. They both look the same as his depraved reflection.

When his red branded rebirth came he couldn’t help himself trotting to you like the holy little lamb he was conditioned to be. You, the only compass he had, a sense of direction he couldn’t bear to lose. He sits in your presence waiting for his rapture. When not, he’s stuck in a state where can’t tell if he’s more scared of being lost or alone. Jason finds he’s neither when with you, with you he’s stained red but his neck is no longer painfully warm, his body can be mangled, his mind can be mortal. He always trots back to you, because it is the first place he is welcomed to with open arms, yes, you are the warm light of the heavens he was conditioned to bask in. The personification where the death of his self is meant to be.

Acts Of Service - I believe this side of him comes more when its towards the part of the relationship where he’s most comfortable! He’ll run errands, do your dishes, maybe if the guilt of getting your floor a little bloodied gets to him he’ll pay your rent. It takes him awhile to loosen up and stop acting like a house maid. He still does everything he can for you but in an mundane way, like a little routine. (like a little wife omg chat i love him)

Whenever he slips through that window he takes armor off and sets them down on your floor. He’ll walk over to where you sit and kiss you on the cheek, whispering in your ear on how he ordered take out. He’ll come back to you with clean clothes and washed hair, sitting close to you, yet not closer if not allowed.

He’s much like a Saint Bernard now, for he always finds his way back to your side. A gentle giant, neither of you can keep yourselves away from each other; tenderly caring for each others needs. With you, he gave up on his divided sense of pride, his fundamentals and foundations that gave his name meaning were reckoned meaningless, he gave it up and swallowed the bitter pill of which he found the unsatisfactory taste of forgiveness; and with that pill he allowed himself to grieve.

He’s much like a Saint Bernard now, he can guide people to the place they believe to be heavens for their sake of peace. He holds someone in his arms the way they need to be held, he says those things that make someone think, leading them back to the path they left. But most of all he always comes running back to you.

sorry chat this is so bitter sweet i love his self destructive mentality that would take him decades to weed out.

[steveharringtonat3am]

helloo! I was thinking about Steve being soft about reader. Reader is sick and can't take medicine, like reader has a fear of swallowing pills something like that and Steve is there to help the reader. Thank you very much!! I hope you're having a good day too! 💕

You’ve always hating being sick. You can’t really remember when it started, maybe when you were small and got a fever so high your mom had to run a cold cloth over your forehead so you wouldn’t overheat. Or maybe when you caught that cold and your throat was so scratchy you wanted to just pull it out.

But you weren’t a little kid anymore, so you had to tough it out.

The next day at work was horrible. Your whole body hurt, your throat was aching and dry no matter how much water you drank, and you couldn’t stop sneezing. You told Steve you were busy with work, to avoid the daily lunch break phone call. You knew he would hear your illness in your voice and you couldn’t bear to burden him like that.

Steve was the most caring boyfriend you’d ever had. He was always going out of his way to do things like picking up your favourite snacks, filling up your car with gas, even taking bugs from your apartment outside. He had never seen you sick before and you just know he’ll go overboard.

You barely manage the drive home but the need to curl on the couch and watch movies all night is enough to push you through.

‘Dinner is a problem for later.’ You think to yourself as you toss your coat onto a chair, stumbling to your bedroom to change into one of Steves’ sweaters and a pair of pyjama pants. A chill has suck it’s way into your bones and you quickly burrow onto your couch and wrap a blanket around yourself. You about to turn on a movie when your phone begins to buzz. A glance at the screen, glowing with Steves’ cheesy smile and you wince. He knows your home and he definitely knows something is up since you always call on your drive home since you like the company.

“Hi baby!” You pick up, trying to keep the sore throat out of your voice.

“Hey babe. Haven’t talked to you all day! You want me to come over? I can bring takeout.” You grip your blanket in uncertainty. Your apartment is definitely riddled with germs and getting Steve sick would be worse than him seeing you like this.

“N-no no it’s alright. I’m feeling a bit tired so I’m probably going to bed now.” A weak lie that you know he’ll see right through.

“…It’s six o’clock. Are you feeling alright baby?” He’s so concerned you could cry.

“Yep! Great. Timeforbedokaybyeiloveyou!” You hang up quickly, tossing your phone to the other side of the couch in embarrassment. Hopefully you’ll wake up better tomorrow and you can pretend this never happened.

The knock on the door startles you awake. You blink as your eyes come into focus, crawling out of the warm cocoon you had built to stumble to the door. The light of your oven reads 7:06. You swing the door open and your heart sinks immediately. Steve, still in his work uniform, holds bags of takeout, a soft grin on his face.

“Hi sweetheart.” He greets you with a soft kiss on the cheek before slipping into your apartment. You lock the door, guilt settling in your stomach.

When you join him in the kitchen, he’s unpacking the food. He sets a large container of soup in the microwave and your mouth waters just a bit.

“I could tell you were feeling a bit under the weather so I got you some wonton soup from that place you like. And I picked up some tylenol in case you were achy and some regular cold medicine if you want that. It’s cherry flavoured.” He smiles so sweet at you that you might cry.

“I-I can’t take tylenol.” You know you should thank him, but the bottle of pills is the first thing on your mind.

“Why not?”

“I just…I don’t like swallowing pills. They feel like they get stuck in my throat and they just don’t-don’t go down.” It sounds stupid saying it but you know you should. You had never been able to get down pills, unless they were so tiny you didn’t notice.

“That’s alright babe. How about I split it and you try that?” You inspect the pills as you decide. The groove in the middle means splitting it is safe, and you think you could manage each half.

“Okay…” You watch carefully as he severs the pill with a knife, grabbing you a glass of water to wash it down. He hands it to you and pretends to not watch.

It takes you a second to get over the mental hurdle, placing the piece in your mouth and immediately taking a gulp of water. The pill manages to get lost in the liquid and you swallow with ease. You take the other piece and swallow once more. When it goes down, you show Steve with a smile and he grins proudly.

“Good job babe!” He pours you some soup, grabbing a bowl of fried rice for himself as you both head to the couch to eat. You relax into him as the soup calms your throat.

“Thank you for taking care of me, Steve.” You smile up at him and he mirrors it.

“Of course, sweetheart. Anything for you.”

[sakuraryomen01]

Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Reader/ .o8

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, some light teasing, more tutoring sessions, and Sukuna punches a pervert!

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 1.125k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n:: I've felt mentally drained so I'm going to finish this dang chapter holy frick did this take so long :D

. . .

Thank you for reading this bit! Enjoy! ❤️

. . .

Sleep didn't come easy to you, and it was expected. Seeing Sukuna in his vulnerable state, having him confirm a small doubt in your mind, and having Shoko spur on your aching heart.

It was a hard pill to swallow, but you needed to force it. You can't force someone to love you back.

Sukuna had his reasons, and it didn’t concern you in the slightest. You told yourself that as much as possible when you felt the need to say something to him after lessons and classes, or do simple things like ask about his day. When you wanted to ask, you bit your tongue and stayed silent. Sticking to the normal day to day chit chat between classmates.

Don’t bug him more than you already do. You say to yourself as you lift your fist up and knock on the door a few times.

There was a quiet "enter" from his side of the door, and when you did as told you didn't see Sukuna in the living room or kitchen like normal.

"Sukuna?" You asked, confusion filling your brain. You continued to wander around the dorm until Sukuna's bedroom door opened up, revealing a disheveled man.

His hair a mess, t-shirt lopsided and somewhat dirty, and boxers on full display. You quickly averted your eyes, trying to save Sukuna his dignity. "Hello to you too."

He waved before heading into his bedroom to change and look cleaner. Moving yourself to your usual space on the couch, you pulled out your things and started flipping through a notebook.

There was almost no noise, besides the random grunts of Sukuna shuffling through his things. Even your thoughts going quiet and jumbled with the notes in your book. Writing things down and not noting the shadow being cast over you by Sukuna.

"Hey, what're you working so hard on?" His voice broke your train of thought, making you look up at him.

"Uhm, tutoring?" You responded, a questioning tone in your voice. "Why?"

Sukuna sighed, resting his cheek against his fist, maroon eyes scanning your figure. "Don't you wanna have fun instead?"

The question catches you off guard and you chuckle, patting his knee in an almost loving manner. "I don't think you should have fun until you get better grades."

"God, you sound like my mother!"

You crinkle your nose as Sukuna's rather modest laughter fills the air. It had been a while since you saw a smile.

With a sigh, you straightened your posture and started to the session, seeing Sukuna's eyes begin to glaze over in a bored pout. You didn't like doing much studying either, but keeping your grades up mattered to you.

Sukuna knew this, watching you diligently work with him to help. So determined..

——

"..How are your parents?" He asked, his eyes lazily looking towards you.

It had been an hour since the tutoring had started that day, and Sukuna's mind was elsewhere. It was dull, the schedule he has wrapped himself into. It was the same thing everyday, seeing the hundreds of students around campus and ending up stuck in his dorm with you.

Talking about equations and random stuff he was already familiar with became tedious. Even though he was willing just to see you.

Never say that out loud though.

"Oh, they're fine," You answered, a slightly confused look on your face as you tapped the cap of your red pen on the notebook.

Sukuna raised a brow, scooting himself closer into your space, a small smile on his face. "That's not specific enough. I wanna know how they're doing."

I just told you– "Well, my dad's working on some project for the house apparently. He wanted to make a garden for it."

"Your dad's still the plant guy, huh?"

You pout your lips as Sukuna's curled into a smirk. "Not always. He got into sports cars for some reason, even though he's a planet health guy."

Sukuna chuckles at this before starting to write a few things down in his notebook. You grumble with a slightly warm flush filling your cheeks. Either way, you couldn't really complain much, his smirk made you feel warm inside.

"Are you done with the questions I gave you?" You asked, leaning your head over and bumping your cheek against Sukuna's shoulder.

"Yeah, the last one stumps me though.."

After teasing him for a few moments about his blunders and getting side eyed for the next twenty minutes, you eventually were able to explain the problem before Sukuna pointing out how late it had gotten.

"I could order a pizza and you just sleep over again." He said as he put away his things, placing a hand on his hip. "It'd be best, this dorm is filled with shit drunk guys."

"Aw, you're so sweet," You responded, lifting your bag over your shoulder strap while hiding all the giddy cuteness inside you. "But it's just a five minute walk to my place. I'll be fine!"

There was a hostile look of discontent in his maroon eyes that read: How dare you say no to me?

A confused shiver was sent down your spine before you sighed and pat Sukuna's arm, heading towards the door. "I'll text you when I get home, promise."

Letting out a small grunt, Sukuna eventually caved and you went home. Although he did threaten that he'll give you a stern talking to if he didn't get a text.

He's got more layers than an onion.*

Though, as you made your way home, you bumped into someone. His hair was messy, sunglasses barely hanging onto his head with his hair pushed back, and pants dirtier than your crustiest sock. But his pink cheeks and glossy eyes didn't betray you in recognizing one of your weirdest friends to date.

"Satoru? What are you doing out?" You place a hand on the males exposed forehead and humming to yourself. "..Are you high, drunk, or sick?"

With a delayed reaction, a hiccup, and a pout, you got this. "My girl, you're judgy so muchy~ Let me life without demands!"

You raise a brow and scoff. I know he'll regret this drinking in the future.

"Fine, but I have to go home now," You say, patting the disheveled mans shoulder, a smile on your face. "Don't trip walking up those stairs!"

But as you said goodbye, Gojo leaned in and placed a soft peck on your cheek with surprising accuracy. You blink in confusion as Gojo smiles loosely and pets your head. "Don't hurt yourself either, Miss best friend chaser!"

Before words could process, or a thought was able to work the cogs in your headspace, there was a grunt and a very big "someone's jaw might have gotten broken" sound.

. . .

a/n: hope you guys have been doing well! srry i haven't posted in almost two months maybe really, so many things came up. I was worried about mental health for a while, wasn't feeling motivated to write much but then smthing else happened. Huge changes are happening so we might end up with another writer's drought lmao (I'm going to college soon and do adult things ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙;;;)

*and if u didnt get the reference I'll scream*

Chapter Song Theme:

— Ariana Grande - God is a woman (Lyric Video)

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleeboomed, @fallenfeversstuff, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @ririkaxbz, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @instantgalaxysheep, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9, @heyitstacy, @lost-in-tokyo, @marksassybanana, @bozos-r-us, @gumis-girl, @p-3-4-c-h, @chaoticqueen33, @dxxny-loves-u, @l0tus-n-l0ve, @jiordeci

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[alexa-fika]

Chiefs And Brothers( Sabo x gn!Sibling!Reader)

A/N surprise another from the prompt List from @me-writes-prompts. Yall LET ME TELL YOU I COOKED, THREE STAR MICHELIN RIGHT HERE 🫦🫦. Now if I could do the same on that 4-6 page essay I have yet to do that would be wonderful.

Prompt: "We have a meeting in 10 minutes." "What meeting?" "The one to discuss your resignation."

Dividers by @/saradika

“Come in,” he calls, glancing up and smiling at their sibling coming in

“Hey, We have a meeting in 10 minutes.”

“What meeting?” The chief of staff questions, confused; he had not been informed of any meeting, which would be weird considering he was the second command

“The one Discussing your resignation,” They deadpanned

He sighs, a small smile growing on his scarred face.

“You’re still mad,” he states

“I don’t know what you mean.” They retort

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t hold in a little chuckle.

“Don’t even,” he says, a smirk curling onto his face as he stands up, walking close to Reader

“I mean, how could you, Sabo? You sent the recruit on a mission; meanwhile, me, your sibling, mind you, have been stuck here for a month!”

“The recruit needed some experience,” he said smiling softly

“While you need experience in patience,” he quips

They sputter a scoff

“I am patient enough. I have dealt with you Ace’s and Luffy’s antics for years, so I believe that proves my point!”

“Would Hardly call you patient even back when we were with Dadan, always so violent, first one to hand out punches when we fought among us” He says teasingly

“T-th- You guys were a handful! I was younger, so I needed to make a point somehow!”

“I rest my Case.”

“That doesn’t have to do with this anyways,” they exclaim, knowing they weren’t going anywhere with this

“You just proved my point, Reader; you need to learn that sometimes you’ll have to be patient and levelheaded.”

He can tell that this is a hard pill for them to swallow, and Sabo was enjoying it way too much

They groan

“I should have accepted Luffy’s offer to join him, hell even Ace’s man crew would be better than this!”

They walk closer to Reader and, pulling at their cheeks, a tight smile now replacing their teasing grin

“Like I said, impatient.”

“Oouch Sabo, that hurts.” They whine trying to escape his grip

His smirk grew wider as he continued to hold their cheeks

“I said you need to learn how to wait, didn’t I?”

“Let goo,” they whine

He lets go of their cheeks after hearing them whine.

He backs off a little bit, not wanting to anger them too much.

“You can be incredibly cute, you know that?” He says in almost a sing-song voice

They rub their cheeks with a pout

“You’re mean, Sabo.”

“Oh? If that’s the case, then I guess I just have to fill up your expectations.” He said getting closer

“Don’t you dare, you ass!” They scream backing up

He snickers softly

“What's Wrong? I thought the cryptanalyst wanted to take the chief of staff on?”

“Sabo, get away from me!”

He grins easily, getting a hold of them

“Heh, not so smart now, are ya?” he teases as he starts to noogie them

They screech, fighting against his hold

“I should just pick you up; you’re so tiny I probably wouldn’t even have to try too much.”

They quickly put their leg behind his, pulling it forward knocking them to the ground, not taking into account that he would keep his hold on them and bringing them to the ground with him

He grins as he switches their position, putting them in a headlock, wrapping his legs around them

“Okay, okay! I give, I give!”

He lets go of his legs, slowly releasing the headlock, smiling down at them

“That's what I thought.”

They glare at him as he sits on the love seat on his office, leaning back and leaving them on the ground to catch their breath

“Come on, Sabo, when will you give me field missions!”

“You’re a cryptanalyst, not a front fighter; you’re not ready for the front lines, you’ll die within minutes as you are.” He replies bluntly

“I did just take you down within the minute.”

They raise their body up slightly to glare at him

“You’re the chief of staff; of course, you would take me down! Not everyone is a tank like you, Sabo, not to mention you are an actual tank with your Mera-Mera, that's a faulty test.”

“I never had to resort to using my fruit; even without it, I still managed to overwhelm you. You're a cryptoanalyst, not to mention you’re also our language expert; you’re essential to the Revolutionary Army Reader, and we need you in here; can’t lose you,” He said, pouring tea into two cups

“Come on, Sabo! Just once, I want to be able to crack codes while in the field!”

He sighs, taking a sip of their tea before continuing

“Reader, you alone lead our intelligence network; you are not built for battle, not to mention that regardless of how much of a hothead you are-

“OI!”

-you’re still quite the pacifist, and as your big brother, I have to keep you safe,” he finishes, not paying any mind to their protests

“Then what if I go on a mission with you? You can make sure I don’t get in over my head.”

He pauses a moment deep thought.

“Please, Sabo! I promise I'll listen to your orders, and I'll back up as soon as you think it’s too much, just once, please?” They said, putting their hands together

He raises an eyebrow at them

“You’ll listen to me?” He confirms

“Yes!”

“Promise?”

“I promise!”

He sighs again and rolls his eyes, smiling

“fine, one mission and you better listen well.”

“Yes! Im going to the field!” They cheer, jumping up from their position excitedly

“Guess we don’t need that meeting after all!”

“Wait. You actually set up a meeting?”

“Hah….Well, before you let it sink in, remember that im you’re sibling, and you love me very much,” they squeak

He just put his tea down, facing them with another tight smile, although this one looked vastly tighter than his previous one as he stood up slowly

“S-Sabo, let’s be mature about this!”

“Oh, I will, don’t worry,” he said, punching his open arm in a threatening manner, his flames coating his fist as he did

Dragon in his office be like 🙃.Yall do you guys think my stories are getting bad? Or like predictable? Can’t help but notice how repetitive some things are.

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

[znerac]

hello!! i love your fics. i was hoping for maybe a pedro x reader fic, established relationship where you are sick and he takes care of you? or visa-versa. (alt maybe you are sick on a weekend he was coming home to surprise you while he’s away filming)?

This is such a cute idea idk how i never thought of this! 😧 also so sorry i would of gotten this out sooner but i went out on vacation with like barely any service ❤️❤️

I'll also keep in mind to maybe write a ver where Pedro's sick. And sorry its a bit short :P

Anyways i Loved writing this, here ya go 🥰

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Reader. Warnings/tags: no specific gendered reader, No y/n, Petnames, fluff, Just cute stuff :) Summary: Pedro comes home to surprise his partner with a visit, But the Reader is sick and he takes his time caring for them <3

Feeling under the weather always sucked, How could it be enjoyable? Laying in bed, feeling down and crappy, And unfortunately you had come down with something. You were fevered, stuck in bed, sleeping all day and whimpering in pain from whatever you caught. It sucked enough being alone, since you had to force yourself out of bed to eat. When all you wanted to do was rest like your exhausted body asked you.

You body shivered, leaning up against the counter as you waited for the water in the kettle to boil. Wrapped up in a blanket while you attempted to feel warmer. Sighing when the kettle whisteled, and you poured yourself a cup of tea to your taste. Bringing the hot beverage to your lips and humming as it soothed your throat.

Day two of feeling like shit, what a start to the weekend. You stood in the kitchen drinking your tea, revelling in the warmth it gave you. Furrowing your brows as you heard a door open, and even heard your name. It almost sounded like-

Pedro. He walked into the kitchen with a big smile, that only faltered as he looked at you. "Oh mi amor, You don't look so good" he said, coming over to you and wrapping you in his arms. Pedro gave you a few kisses on the forehead, you groaning as you leant into it. "I thought you were filming" you hummed.

"Well, i was missing you, thought I'd surprise Mi hermosa compañera. I flew home for the weekend just for you" he says, petting your hair. "So are you not feeling well? You feel clammy" pedro asked, looking into your eyes with those brown orbs. You shook your head with a frown, which he met. "Ah, don't worry baby. I'll make you feel all better" he said with a smile, kissing your forehead again. "Go sit on the couch, pick a show you like mi amor. I'll be right out there with you"

You nodded, squeezing his hand briefly before leaving with your blanket and tea, making yourself comfortable on the couch. A show you like acompanying you. Pedro took a while, but when he came back with soup and water, and a couple of meds your heart melted.

"Awh.. You didn't have to-" you hum, taking the soup and setting it comfortably in your lap. Pedro laughs, "Well, what kind of a boyfriend would i be if i didn't take care of my partner?" he replied, handing you the meds along with the water. He sat down beside you, pulling you close.

"Thank you" you mumble, swallowing down the pills. He just nods with a smile, planting a kiss on your cheek. You shivered, a rush of cold flowing down your spine. In a quick whim to get rid of the cold, you take a couple spoon-fulls of your soup which almost immediately cures it.

On days like this you were more than thankful to have pedro. He was always willing to take care of you. And when he felt like this? You gave back just the same.

Eventually when you were done eating, pedro just pulled you into his lap and rested his head on your shoulder, littering your neck with kisses and small whisperes of his affection. Just by being with him, you felt better.

When Pedro noticed you passed out cold, he chuckled, Saying to your unconscious self affectionate words and how much he loved you. A few things that were cheesy, and others that were just him admiring you. But then he put you in his arms, got up and carried you to bed.

When he set you in, he lifted up the covers and made sure you were comfortable and warm. Crawling in and hugging you into his arms. He had no plan on going back to filming until you were better.

A/N: Usually i try not to write micro's but i was a little stumped. Sometimes cute little drabbles are good though when you need a bit of a readers-block breaker i guess.

[salternateunreality2]

AGSZC Taking Care of Their Feral Chocobo (often against his will)

Just some OOC crack excerpts from Cloud being feral and his boyfriends suffering.

from many a conversation with @strayheartless

-----------------------------------------------------------

Unjust Punishments

Cloud: *has dorm toilet duty for "fighting with" bullies* Eh, this isn't the worst thing someone in charge has done for something that's not my fault.

*Everyone's gaze sharpening dramatically*

Sephiroth: What WAS the worst thing?

Cloud, casually: Oh probably that time I saved the mayor's daughter and was almost thrown in jail with my broken ribs...or maybe the time Johnson...never mind, I got him back so it's fine!

*One-Winged Angel starts playing from four directions at once*

Cloud: The mayor thing was only that bad because I was 8 and freaking out too much, no big deal because Ma stopped them from actually throwing me in jail.

*Estuans interius...*

Cloud: And Johnson's nuts are crushed now, so yeah, all good.

*Ira vehementi...*

A little while later...

Cloud: Hey Zack?

Zack: Yeah, buddy?

Cloud: You know I love cuddling you...

Zack: YES, ME TOO! *squeezes tighter*

Cloud: ...but I get the feeling I'm stuck, and I'd like to know for how long.

*Zoom out to see Zack and Cloud have been tightly wrapped in a burrito together, squirreled away in Genesis' giant bed-nest, and their whole burrito bundle is swaddled so thoroughly that escape seems untenable. Outside, sounds of growling, pacing, and theme music can be heard*

Zack: IDK, last time they got me after I almost got trampled by a behemoth, they had me in here for a day or two. I say just enjoy it. I definitely am! *Pecks on cheek* You're the cutest!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Medication

Cloud doesn't take pills. Get that thing away from him. He will tough it out. Pills are for the weak! ZACK, GET OFF!

Zack's clamping Cloud's jaws shut while Angeal strokes his throat like a stubborn dog's to get him to swallow, "there, there, just swallow, that's it, be a good rabid chocobo, good"

Two minutes later, with lots of "bleaugh blech blaugh blep blech": *pill clatters to the floor*

Dissolving it in milk doesn't work because he can sMeLl It.

Genesis: "That's it, next time it's going to be liquid!"

Next time...

Genesis: *covered in disgusting cough syrup and germs* "NEXT TIME IT'S GOING TO BE A SHOT."

Next time...

The shot goes awry and gets injected wrong and now Cloud looks like the most sad and pathetic creature to ever walk the earth because (a) they BETRAYED HIM and (b) the shot got injected into something that HURTS and it was a NEEDLE and they BETRAYED HIM. Little tears glisten on his feverish cheeks and the tiniest of whimpers comes out and he holds his injured arm extra gingerly, and now everyone feels awful. 🥺

Genesis: "...fine, next time it'll be pills."

------------------------------------------------------------------

Weaponized Cuteness

Cloud: *doesn't want to do something* *stands next to Angeal and rubs his head*

Angeal: Awww my precious chocobaby, does your head hurt?

Cloud: *looks away, pouting*

Angeal: Sweetheart, we have to take care of ourselves. Here, sit down in the shade and have some juice.

Zack: *offended puppy noises* GEAL MY HEAD HURTS TOOOOO

Angeal: It does not, keep squatting

Cloud: *smirking behind his juice box*

-

Zack: Kunsel, you gotta help us, he's playing them! You see that, right?!

Kunsel: Yep.

Zack: Great, then we need you to tell the-

Kunsel: Nope.

Zack: What do you mean "nope"?! YOU ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HE'S DOING?!!!!

Kunsel: Yep, and it is hilarious 🍿🍿🍿

-

It backfires when Cloud is actually unwell and doesn't want help.

Cloud: *coughs up blood very quietly* Bye guys, I'm off to kill a zo- er, off on a patrol!

Angeal: *appears from the ether* No, you are not.

Cloud: But 🥺 I gotta, for work!

Angeal: I smell blood.

Later...

Zack: Heh.

Cloud: Shut the fuck up.

Zack: Nah, you look like a marshmallow and I will take as many blackmail pics as I please, my angry little muffin!

Cloud: *growling and coughing up blood from his straightjacket cocoon*

-

Genesis being manipulated into giving Cloud's lactose intolerant ass more cheese:

---------------------------------------------------------------

They burrito him for the flu one time and come home to find that he CHEWED THROUGH the cocoon and is out racing Roche with a raging fever.

---------------------------------------------------------------

It's cold, and Angeal is frantically wrapping Cloud up in many layers because he's "small" (compared to the giraffes the rest of them are) and unenhanced...and now Cloud is passing out from heatstroke before because his Nibelheim genes are strong.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Cloud: *sways*

Angeal, from two floors away: ...I smell naughty bird. GENESIS!

Genesis: Angeal?

Angeal: Did you eat today?

Genesis: Yes.

Angeal: 🤨

Genesis: SIGH I had a breakfast sandwich and a chicken dish for lunch from the cafeteria.

Angeal: Good. My bird senses were tingling, so I... *Looks at Genesis* 😱

Genesis: 😱 CLOUD

They both make it downstairs just in time to catch him. He hadn't eaten in a day and a half.

[k0setsuch1e]

Kosetsu fic!! "It almost worked"

tw: kosetsu /j ov3rdos1ng, blood?? implied SH, Implied SA, describing the feeling of pills

this contains spoilers for actual bsd!

I wrote this late at night so it's probably bad

ft. @looksatyouwithmybiggreeneyes

uhmmmmmm idk people that might be interested? @kimisbunny @fromtheberrybush ??

I sat on the floor of my apartment, my legs were stinging and eating at my conscience. I stared at my crappy first aid-kit, oh how sad you truly are Kosetsu. You have to bandage yourself up after every fight and watch the light fade out of someone’s eyes again. It felt good the first time but now it’s just dull, I hate the feels of blood beneath my hands, no, at my hands. All this pain, all this suffering, all these lives lost. It’s my fault.

I heaved myself up.

What a terrible person you are.

I turned over the first aid-kit in my hands, and they shook. I was surrounded by death so what was the difference if I’m dead. I’m just as bad– no, I’m worse than the people I kill. I am violence, it has never been justice. I watch from roofs kids, children, people, humans, get murdered in cold blood by my own hands. The first person I killed, my mentor, someone’s child, someone’s reason to keep going, oh my god they were someone. I let rage eat me alive then, let it take my hands and swing my sword. 

You should die.

Die.

Die.

I grabbed the full bottle of unknown pills from the first aid-kit, the text was unreadable in this lighting. I felt around for my phone, nothing. Did I forget it at work? Dammit you idiot, can't even remember your own phone? It’s not like I can go grab it now, it’s midwinter only an idiot would go out at night.

I unscrewed the bottle, pink tablets climbed to the rim of the bottle. I pushed myself up more, my wings weighing me down. Deeper and deeper I sank into this mindset;

I don’t deserve to live.

I seized my bottle of water, tipping the full bottle of pills into my mouth. Only about a half of the pill fell into my mouth before I gagged and spat some out.

Swallow before anyone can stop you.

I pressed the bottle of water against my lips, swallowing as many tablets I could. The strong taste of powdery pills stuck to the roof of my mouth, I wanted to vomit. The taste was awful. When was the last time I took a pill? Why do I even know how to take them? I gagged again the hard feeling of pills stuck in my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut hunching over coughing violently, god get it out getitoutgetitoutgetitout. I removed my hands from my mouth, about three pills sat in my hand. 

.  .  .  .

It had been over thirty minutes now, my stomach felt like it was gnawing at itself from the inside out. Despite that my hands didn’t budge to even hug myself, I just sat there staring at my floor. Was everything normally this blurry? Do my ears usually ring like this? I thought this would make everything better but I want it to stop. 

I didn’t even hear the banging on my door.

‘Kosetsu?’

Great, now I’m hearing things. I looked at the spilled water on the floor, pooling at my legs. Oh, my bandages are wet, what are they wet from anymore? Blood? Water? I haven’t even taken off my halo tonight or replaced the plum blossoms. 

How could I take care of myself if I let Teruko die. I’m such a failure to the Hunting Dogs, the abilities I use aren’t even my own. I’d be useless if it wasn’t for others, why was I made like this? 

I used the last bit of feeling I had in my hand to reach up and feel the rough scars on my neck that made the numbers ‘143.’ No normal person is labeled, I’m like a cow. Labeled, when have I ever been working for myself anyway?

.

.

C’mon answer the question, Kosetsu.

I can’t. I can’t– why…I’ve alway been doing tasks for others. Their dirty work, oh, your dirty past. Stop, why do I keep thinking like this. 

I haven’t been able to look in the mirror for years, my throat becomes hot and rough. The back of my cheeks tighten as I would grab my stomach, I would cover my mouth holding back the feeling of disdain. It felt like he was grabbing me again every time I saw myself. 

Why is it darker? Is death finally giving me it's mercy?  

My eyes trail up, a face of horror met mine. 

Who’s that again? 

I’m supposed to hate them, right?

“Kosetsu?!” They seemed to unfreeze once my eyes met theirs, “please, stay alive–you can’t die too– nononono Kosetsu say something!”

Their eyes were red at the rims as they held me in a sitting position. My eyes couldn’t hold themself open anymore as my world became dark. Was this it? Am I taking my final breaths, why is this so scary, why does my chest hurt, why do I feel guilty, tell all of them I’m sorry. 

I felt their hand in my hair as if trying to keep my head up. Why are they even trying? They don’t even know me. After all, why cry over spilt milk?

Those were my final thoughts before everything went black and cold.

[avvail-whumps]

‘guns for hire’ — heated #31

previous · masterlist · next

content warnings: conditioned whumpee, injury recovery, more manipulation, dub-con kissing (again it's technically consensual), stockholm syndrome

Leo ended up waking up when it was dark outside. He could tell since the room had darkened inexplicably, and the window still hadn’t been covered by the blinds, displaying the stars twinkling in the sky. He shifted, his eyes weepy and his mind foggy, sinking back into the comfort of the warm covers. 

He let his memories slowly come back to him. Piece by piece, reminding himself that the mercenaries were gone, and that there was no need for him to get hurt anymore. The painkiller had done its job in blocking out any of the numbing pain, leaving him pleasantly at ease with his current condition. Even though his fingers were of no use and he was wrapped in far too many bandages and plasters to count, he was at least getting better. 

That was what mattered. 

Roy came in about fifteen minutes later. 

He’d told him he could use the television, but the irony erupted like a cruel heckle when he realised that wasn’t exactly possible. Not while his fingers were in the state that they were. He instead stared at the black screen with an empty head, not exactly sure what to make of the mind numbing situation anymore. Seeing Roy seemed to make him feel a little better. He couldn’t do anything by himself, but at least the mercenary was there to help him when he needed something as simple as a drink. 

He’d brought a glass of water, another white painkiller, and a juicy looking red apple. It was split into uneven little slices, but Leo eyed it eagerly, unable to stop the little smile on his face. 

“I could hear you snoring away from downstairs,” he mused in a teasing lilt, setting the stuff down on the windowsill with a small smirk on his lips. “Comfortable?” 

Leo nodded his head. He must have been, since his blond hair was still dishelved, sticking up in various places, and small red creases had imprinted on his skin from being stuck to the pillow like glue.

“Good,” the man sighed, motioning towards the painkiller in his hand. “Open your mouth.” 

He did, and didn’t wince away when the little white pill was placed on his tongue. He held it there while Roy picked up the glass, and eased the liquid down his throat to help him swallow it. Leo gulped down a few extra mouthfuls, finding himself easily parched after waking up. He glanced up at the man once he was finished, watching his every move. Roy didn’t seem to care. 

“I didn’t mean to sleep for so long,” Leo perked up, uneasily gazing at the dark sky outside. “I can go back to my room if you want to sleep.” 

The man almost looked amused by his considerate words, a little chuckle escaping his lips. “A lack of sleep doesn’t bother me, lion. Besides, you were sleeping like the dead. I didn’t want to wake you.” 

Against his better judgement, Leo found himself blushing. He wished his fingers weren’t broken, otherwise he could mindlessly fiddle with the edges of the blanket to distract himself. He tried to swallow down those words as anything other than the man being courteous because of his extensive injuries, but he just couldn’t. There were those last little thoughts that were telling him that whatever this was, wasn’t real. That he needed to snap out of it, go back to his father, try and remind himself that Michael said people were looking for him. 

His thoughts were broken when he felt the bed dip beside him, and he met Roy’s eyes. Those concerns seemed to suddenly melt away, like they’d never existed before. As long as he was here, then he didn’t have to worry so much. 

“Where did you go?” The mercenary hummed, tilting his head slightly. “You were lost for a minute, lion.” 

He tensed up, teeth instantly gnawing on the inside of his cheek. He knew better than to keep things from him, or god forbid lie to his face, since he felt like Roy could read him like an open book. His stomach churned at the thought of getting into trouble, and he was fighting a losing battle with his rationality very quickly. He tore his eyes away, begrudingly opening his mouth. 

“I was thinking about…” His tongue suddenly felt very heavy. “...thinking about home. My father.” 

He didn’t want to look at the expression on Roy’s face. If he was angry, then he was just about willing to get down on his knees and grovel, because he couldn’t bear a second longer in that sordid basement by himself, trapped within those horrible plain walls. Leo could feel his intense stare on the side of his face, making his jaw tighten instinctively. 

“You mean the home that your father forced you out of?” He spoke, his voice softer than he’d been expecting. Leo’s eyes flickered wide open, leveling his gaze with his. The words made him react defensively without even realising. 

“He didn’t force me out,” he uttered, his voice on the verge of wobbling. “It wasn’t like that.” 

“It wasn’t?” Roy countered, his brow cocking. “I don’t know, lion. You told me the truth, didn’t you? I don’t really care that he was ‘struggling’ or however you put it. He still shut you out.” 

Leo’s brows furrowed, shaking his head. “No, I…” He scoffed. “His wife left him, he was allowed to be upset. It wasn’t his fault.” 

“And your mother left, too,” the mercenary shrugged, taking one of the smaller apple slices and popping it in his mouth. Leo didn’t watch, his eyes stubbornly pinned to the blanket spread across his lap. The words made his heart sting like it hadn’t done for a while. “Doesn’t really matter whatever the fuck he was going through.”

“He just—” Leo stopped, his eyes burning. “I don’t want to talk about this.” 

“You were thinking it, so you will,” Roy demanded sharply. “Tell me this, lion. You left because you were hurt, didn’t you? You can’t possibly not feel mad for the way he treated you.” 

Leo huffed shakily, swallowing the uneasy lump forming in his throat. “I wasn’t—” 

“Truthfully, lion,” he warned. “Answer me truthfully.” 

“Of course I was mad,” he spat, shaking his head. “I-I was upset. She left me too and I needed him, but instead he…he just shut me out. I was so upset. I was. I knew that he was grieving, but so was I. I needed my dad.” 

The man gently brushed a thumb against the corner of his eye, stopping the fresh tears that were threatening to tumble down his cheeks. He couldn’t help but lean into the touch, his mind racing. He didn’t think he had ever talked about this. He didn’t think he’d ever told anybody at work the real reason why he left, or the fact that his father didn’t want anything to do with him after his mother left. He briefly remembered one memory, with his father necking down a big bottle of whiskey, lamenting through angry tears that Leo looked just like her. 

He sucked in a sharp breath, apolgising softly under his breath. Roy let out a long, quiet sigh. 

“Hey, lion,” he murmured, forcing him to meet his eyes. “I’m not saying this to be cruel. You know that, right?” 

Leo nodded his head sharply. “I know. I know, I’m just…”

His words died off, and the man swiftly decided to take the reins, keeping the sparking embers of the painful conversation going. 

“Putting it into perspective stings a little, doesn’t it?” He hummed, his lip curving up into a subtle smirk. He imagined his fathers face, what he was doing right now, drinking to the ends of the bottle, his collection of string instruments gathering dust in his office. “Doesn’t matter if he was grieving. He should have been there for his son. Do you really want to go back to that again, lion? After what he did to you?” 

He forced his eyes shut. His nose wrinkled in discontent, fighting the probing questions that were only making his head a complete mess. He didn’t know what to think anymore, that sickening pain from the past throbbing deep in his chest again, almost making it difficult to breathe. 

“I should,” he whispered, his shoulders sagging. Because he should. But he wasn’t so sure anymore. 

“Poor little lion,” Roy drawled, shifting closer so his eyes fluttered open. Leo gazed at him with watery eyes, his bottom lip curving into a deep frown. “You just wanted some love, didn’t you?” 

Leo did. He’d lost his mother that day, lay awake at night wondering if it had been his fault, but in the process, he’d lost his father too. He’d always dreamed he’d be like him someday, taking on all of his wise wisdom and knowledge, but that had been subsequently shattered after his father stopped teaching him. After his childhood passion was lost at the bottom of a glass. 

He jerkily nodded his head. “Yes.” 

The man’s eyes turned coy, that smile of his making Leo’s stomach flip, like it had a mind of its own. It made his cheeks flush, wondering if he just didn’t have enough water earlier. He made a soft, pitiful little cooing noise, and Leo’s cells sang with an itching thrill at the prospect of what he was prolonging. He swallowed, his throat bobbing. A part of him was displeased at how unbothered Roy was about this all. 

“You still need it now, don’t you?” He purred. “There’s no need to be shy.”

There wasn’t really. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about it, and it wasn’t like they hadn’t indulged each other once before. Leo knew he was getting into something really dangerous here, but there was something completely sucking him in, completely warping his thoughts, and it was scary how much he was willing to give up the last part of himself to Roy. 

The man chuckled softly under his breath, as if he could sense the chaos ensuing in his mind. He still gently cupped the side of his jaw, leaning in to kiss him once again. This time, Leo felt the fire ignite in his core, his heart thrumming in his chest in a way it hadn’t before, like it was singing. The man’s thumb gently found its way to his bottom lip, tugging it down slightly to deepen it. Leo’s soft whine was muffled against his mouth, gasping against his teeth and reaching up to grab his shirt. Roy came to stop him, barely breaking the kiss apart to speak. 

“Watch your fingers,” he warned in a low voice that had him shivering, flinching in surprise when his lips found his again. He could feel him shifting closer to him, Leo’s back pressing into the mattress once more as the mercenary’s hand braced beside his head, an intense fire igniting in the air. His arms came up and over Roy’s shoulders, bottom of his palms digging into his shoulder blades in an attempt to steady himself from under him. 

Leo could barely hear anything over the bass of his own heart, his blood running like magma through his head, and the wet smacking of their lips. The sweet taste of apple on Roy’s tongue, sizzling into his own taste buds and making his eyes water. Everything was buzzing and when he felt a hand creeping under his shirt, hot and heavy against his skin, Leo simply arched into the touch, his moans breathless and swallowed by his lips. 

The mercenary peeled away, much to Leo’s disappointment, saliva glistening on their lips. He littered soft little kisses against his cheek, and then down to his neck, hand gently easing his head aside to expose the flesh there, covered in goosebumps. Leo couldn’t find the strength in his voice, struggling to even untwist his tongue. 

“Wait, wait, I—” He was cut off by a sharp, pained hiss on his tongue, the man having pressed a little too hard on the bruises there with his tongue. He lifted his head, and the hand retracted from under his shirt, giving Leo a chance to catch his breath. Roy hummed, his brow raised, before a smug grin broke out across his face. 

“Best if we wait until you’ve recovered, huh?” He murmured under his breath, admiring the flushed heat on Leo’s face. He could only manage a jerky nod, finding himself eager to pop open one of the windows and feel some fresh air to cool him down.

tag list – @unorganisedalienrubbish @d-cs @rabidrabidme @sordayciega @burningkittypoet @whumpawink @mannerofwhump @suspicious-whumping-egg @welcome-to-the-whumpfest @whatwasmyprevioususername @crilex29 @firefly017 @dutifullykrispyland @wibbly-wobbly-whump @there-will-always-be-blood @anonintrovert @justawhumpjunkie @whumptastic-world @ha-ha-one @whatwhumpcomments @whumpterful-beeeeee @anonymous1235 @sonder35 @unforgiven235 @whumpasaurus101 @mj-or-say10 @professional-idiocy @seaweed-is-cool @theelvishcowgirl @atomicsandwichprince @sunshiline-writes @peasandpotatos @pirefyrelight

[dontthrowmeaway]

Klaus is Five's dad AU

Summary: One day, a familiar woman comes up to Klaus and leaves him with a child. His child. A boy with green eyes and fuzzy brown hair.

Selfishly, he decides to keep him, despite his bad living conditions. Despite Ben's protests.

Word count: 935

“You have to stop taking so much.” Ben says with a harsh glare. His words are laced with the usual disappointment and annoyance, his face pulled into a grimace. “You’re killing yourself.”

Klaus is used to his endless, endless complaining. Especially after those few months they spent together, glued to each other’s side. God, Klaus could take a break. Needs a break. This endless talking, this endless pretending of being fine… He’s going crazy. Without looking at his brother, he swallows two pills. They slide down his dry throat and he tries to swallow them down with the little spit in his mouth, but it still feels like they’re stuck somewhere - keeping him from breathing properly. But that’s probably because of something else.

“God, Klaus!” Ben hisses, flickering for a second, before stabilizing. Klaus just can’t seem to get rid of him. No matter what he does, Ben just won’t leave. Why can’t he have a moment alone? A moment without people staring and judging and driving him crazier and crazier and crazier.

Klaus sighs and straightens as best as he can, pulling his coat tighter around himself and breathing out a puff of cold air. His shoes are dirty and damaged - his toes showing. Or well, his old socks. He knows he’s not in the best state. He knows he won’t survive if he continues like this.

But maybe that’s exactly the point. Maybe that’s why he’s doing this.

“Klaus-”

“Ben, shut up!” He snaps, whipping around to snarl at his brother. Just one day without judgment and complaining, one day in peace and quiet, that’s all he wishes for. Ben stares at him, mouth shut and raises a brow. He hadn’t talked. Instead, Klaus comes face to face with a woman. She seems familiar. She seems old and worn out. Bags under her eyes, her black hair short and greasy. Just like his own. For a short moment, he feels bad for snapping - then he shoves that aside. She probably did worse to him, if she seems familiar.

There’s a small bundle in her arms. A small something wrapped into a baby blue blanket.

“Oh.” He makes quietly. He’s staring at the blanket, hoping it’s not what he thinks it is. It can’t be what he thinks it is. Like always, he forces a smile on his face. One that just feels wrong and tugs on his face. “Tiffany.”

“That’s not my name.” She says flatly. His smile falls.

They stare at each other, a long silence spreading between them, until Not-Tiffany comes closer and thrusts the bundle carelessly into his arms. His arms move and wrap around it reflexively. That’s when he feels it moving. He feels its warmth. Klaus swallows, shifting the bundle into the crook of one arm to free its little face with the other. Yes, it has a face. It’s a tiny, chubby face. A little nose. Flushed cheeks from the cold.

It’s a baby. A tiny, weak looking infant. It’s not moving much or making noises, and Klaus doesn’t know if that’s good or bad. Do baby’s make noises at that age? It can’t be older than a few days, he guesses.

“It’s a boy. It’s yours.” She shrugs, indifferent. “It was born a week ago.”

Klaus nods absently and reaches out to stroke his little face. The boy’s eyes flutter open - the same green as his, and his breath hitches. That’s his son. He has the same eyes. The same green as his. He breathes out shakily and looks at his baby. He can’t say how long he’s staring, mesmerized by his son, before he finally looks back up.

“Wa- wait, what-” He stutters out, only to stop when he can’t spot the woman anymore. She left. Just left him with their son, without a word of goodbye. His jaw snaps shut and he stares helplessly into this little face that looks up at him weakly.

Long eyelashes, small, chubby cheeks. Klaus strokes them with the back of his finger. They’re so soft. So cold.

“She just left you with me.” He whispers helplessly, his arm tightening around the boy. After a second, he blinks, and then moves the infant so he’s waddled up in his blanket, and pressed against his warm chest under his coat.

“Make sure he can breathe.” Ben blurts out, talking his first words since he was shocked into silence. Quickly, Klaus moves with shaky fingers and makes sure the boy’s face is free. He swallows again.

Klaus deflates, blinking his aching eyes. He leans his back against the alley wall and stares down at the infant in his arms. He’s only 16. How is he supposed to handle a child, if he’s one himself? Although, maybe he can’t call himself a child anymore. Not after what he went through.

“That’s my son.” Klaus whispers shakily. Ben is staring. They’re both silent for a long moment, letting it sink in. A son. Klaus has a son.

Maybe it shouldn’t be a surprise. Not when they think back to all the times Klaus was forced, or all the times he searched for the sweet release of sex. It shouldn’t be a surprise. But it is.

“You shouldn’t keep him.” Ben says quietly.

Klaus stares at his baby, at the green eyes and the little cheeks. No, he shouldn’t. It would be selfish. It will probably kill the baby. But what good will an orphanage do? Or foster care?

It would be selfish. It would be. However, when is Klaus not selfish?

“I shouldn’t.” Klaus agrees. “But when did I ever listen to you?”

Full fanfiction:

[painfccls]

cassidy thinks she's being unfair. after all, it's not iggy's fault that cassidy feels like this, and cassidy shouldn't be frustrated with her for that; she's not, really. she's just mourning. everything just feels very sensitive - and cassidy, who teeters on the edge of overstimulated most of the time - has lost that battle of wills to keep it from all showing on her face. she's sure she looks a mess now, with her eyes slightly too-wide, tears threatening the edges of them, hands to the sides of her, just slightly outward as if to protect herself from any kind of blow; anything that might tumble the rocks that makes up her castle. she has a really nasty thought about herself then, and it cracks through her exterior like a wave, that stone turning to liquid that streaks down her cheeks like little traitors.

"sorry," she manages to get out, voice slightly rough as she tries to laugh it off. "i don't know why i'm crying." but she does know, she does know because it's a thought she's had many times before. and its seemingly one that will never leave her alone no matter how many hours of therapy she puts in or how many times she tries to rationalize her behavior. it's very simple, just one thought:

why would anyone want to be with someone like cassidy?

and cassidy has never put her own self worth in the hands of others, but it's a question forged of many failed relationships in the past and many shattered dreams with partners. and after awhile of so many biting words from said partners and even from people who are seemingly well-meaning until they're not, until they get frustrated with her, it's one that sticks close to her chest. therapy had been a tool for cassidy in the past to utilize when things became too much, she saw her therapist regularly but really, what had helped her the most, was friendship - relationships cultivated over time with people who seemingly wanted to be around cassidy. people in her life who were irreplaceable. like iggy. and cassidy didn't know if iggy knew that she saved cassidy's life every day by just being her friend. and it was a tough pill to swallow when cassidy had realized that she was in love with her.

it had been very hard for her to come to terms with that because it had made everything so much more complicated.

here, standing in front of ingrid now, cassidy couldn't see a time or a place where she'd ever tell ingrid about her feelings. normally honest and self-assured in her words, even if they hurt, these felt like they were stuck deep in her chest, too close to her own heart that ripping them out wouldn't cause some kind of irreparable damage to herself. ripping off that bandaid felt very akin to what jumping off a cliff might feel like, she guessed. it was not just a tender love that she felt for iggy, but a roaring, complicated, yearning that cassidy felt up to her ears in; overstimulated and sore and wanting. and here, with the object of her affections just in front of her, cassidy wondered how iggy didn't see it because cassidy had never made a move to cover it up; that felt too much like lying. so, surely then, she was just ignoring it. and surely that meant, that she didn't feel the same.

floundering in the face of the decision she'd reached, she glanced down at rook then, his whine finally reaching overstimulated ears. her fingers found one of his ears and she swallowed harshly, the light from the foyer highlighting the wetness on her cheeks. she seemed to be gathering the courage to say something before settling on something. "i need space," she spoke in sore kind of whisper, like she'd been doing a lot of talking recently, or a lot of thinking, or both. too much of both, probably. saying things without words, hoping that they would be read and responded with in kind. "i want you to leave."

Iggy’s comment seems to have had the opposite effect of its intent. She watches helplessly as Cass struggles with her keys, each gesture appearing more frustrating than the last. She doesn’t make a move to help her, instead staying rooted where she leans against the wall, afraid that any movement from her might distract her from the task altogether. There’s a joke about a ring of keys in the back of her mind that she blessedly does not try to push further. Something else to ground Iggy, then: she rubs the soles of her sandals against the wall, removing any dirt or grime that might have clung in its ridges, and makes a mental note to clean whatever smudges might have been left later. 

The door opening comes as such relief. Iggy leaves her position beside the doorframe and uncrosses her arms, leaning forward slightly and slipping her hands into the front pockets of her denim jeans. Iggy has been here enough times to have grown familiar with its layout—sprawling and warm, enviable in its homeliness, the kitchen alone perhaps fitting her entire condominium unit altogether. 

To enter here, Iggy knows, is something of a privilege. Which is why doesn’t move forward, still. Lingers at the back instead, as Cassidy steps ahead. The dog, too. He’s already made himself at home in record time. A testament, perhaps, to the dog’s stubbornness—Iggy’s not above accusing the border collie that he’d orchestrated the entire park chess game to finally be adopted—or to Cassidy’s sheer charisma that is invisible to others but is fucking blinding for her. A part of her, of course, wants to turn back on the street. To disappear in one of the parked cars and to tuck herself in one of the fairly secluded parked sailboats. To set up camp there until someone’s figured out Iggy’s fucked off to Nowheresville, United States, again to avoid intimacy. The thought is amorphous, though, and dispelled altogether when Iggy realizes that the first person who might come after her is the very person with whom she’s hesitant to bridge the gap now.

Attention. Too much attention. Cassidy rarely meets her eyes, but she does watch everything else. On bolder days, Iggy finds the attention flattering, and she’s not above putting on a show—flexing her biceps, standing a bit taller, flipping her hair, and exposing the slope where the neck and shoulder met in a way she’s certain drives Cassidy insane. But there are moments such as now when attention throws her off guard. And Iggy feels the need to back off suddenly, to make herself small, and not be seen in all her intrusiveness. 

Because Iggy isn’t a good person. Not a particularly ambitious one, either. There is nothing she asks for in this world now—her existence, such as it was, has burned so hot and large that by the time she’s reached the winter of her existence, there is little else to do but to take life as it comes. There are dreams, of course. Indulgences contained in the dark of the night that she makes stringent efforts not to recollect within Cassidy’s presence, lest her body betray her. For the body so often has it tells, and to conceal her desire in front of a psychologist so practiced on it—of all the body’s shapes and crevices, the heart’s hidden indulgences—and one of the few people who arguably knows her best, takes so much strength in her. 

This act of withholding is almost Iggy’s penance. But what had she said? She’s never been a good person. 

“What?” Iggy shuffles in place and kicks a stray pebble from the foyer. She grimaces at the mess her sandals have left behind on the wall to the side of a doorframe, the mud patterns almost resembling a dog’s pawprints, crawling, scrambling to get inside. Was it too selfish, truly, to succumb again into being a creature of want—“Yeah. Yes. I do want.” 

Ingrid doesn’t wait for Cassidy’s answer. Instead, she brushes the soles of her sandals on the foyer and enters. What has Ingrid offered again, on the way here? Whip up some food. Get the dog ready. But as she stands, almost awkwardly, in the middle of the room, arms crossed, what instead comes out is—“Tell me what you want me to do.”

[dreamypqulson]

— you don’t have to hide from me

requested by @favoriteredhead: A sickfic with billie or mina where the reader knows that they are sick and tries to take care of them but they try to hide their sickness. Like some comfort/fluff of that is possible.

pairing: billie dean howard x reader

word count: 1000

The light of Sunday morning filtered the room, the night not leaving behind any darkened areas. The sunlight was bright, but you were frigid. The crisp October air had snuck its way into the house before you considered turning the heater on.

But clearly Billie didn't mind. Not this morning. She wasn't awake, but her intense body heat was the only thing keeping you from getting frostbite. She should be cold too.

Billie always complained that she was cold. It didn't matter if it was the middle of July, or the end of August. That woman seemed to always be shivering.

You cuddle closer into her sleeping form. Her body was damp, sticky, pale. You pulled away, and sat up in the bed. The medium managed to never look haggard, and you think she would keep that up even if she were to be on her death bed.

The person who you looked down onto did not look like Billie. Not one bit. Her face was concerningly pale, and covered in a layer of sweat. Her cheeks and chest were red, a deep tomato shade of red.

You shook her shoulders once, a faint, "Billie" from your lips. She was a light sleeper, and woke with just that. However, it took much strength for her to open her eyes. The sunlight that the thin curtains couldn't barricade was already hurting her head.

"Billie dean, are you alright, love?" You wiped away the hair that stuck to her face. She groaned and grunted, but soon leaned into the coolness of your palm.

She didn't response. You answered for her. "It's seems like you've come down with a fever."

"I'm fine." Her gravely voice betrayed her. Water. She needed water. Someone must've scraped her throat with sandpaper while she slept, she supposed.

"You don't seem too fine. Does your head hurt? What hurts?" You pried. Her eyes; they would've rolled to the back of her head if they weren't already hurting her.

"I am fine. If I wasn't, you would know."

"Exactly. I do know. It's below zero and you look like you've just worked out in a desert. Like you haven't slept for days either."

"Thank you, baby. You look wonderful yourself."

You scoffed at her antics and got up anyways. She didn't put it past you that you were trying to get her some medicine. You didn't put it past her that she would force you to shove the pills down her throat before she willingly took them.

But she did not expect for you to come back with every hospital tool there was. Not exactly. Just a cool rag, some medicine, and a thermometer. But Billie never took enough care of herself when she was sick to recognize that you weren't being unnecessary.

"I'm not sick," she voiced, weak, fragile, while you got back onto the bed. Her eyes were closed again, slightly. Staring at you through a small slit in her eyes.

“I never said that you were sick, so that leads me to believe that you are.” You set the cold, wet rag on her forehead. She didn’t fight it. It felt too relieving to push away. “And you’re being so stubborn about this. Why don’t you just admit that you’re sick?”

She didn’t answer you until her pills were swallowed. She strained to answer. The pills already made her feel like she was swallowing tiny knives. “Because, baby, i’m not. I have to- oh the dinner tonight. Remember? With the crew of my show.”

“Your plans tonight are relaxing, so scratch that dinner. I’m not letting you go when you’re sick as a dog. They can reschedule.” You stuck the thermometer in her mouth, her brows displaying that she was evidently angry. “Over one hundred. Jesus, Billie. I don’t mean to be controlling, but I care about you. You’re sick as a dog.”

“I’m not sick, though. Just hot.” She winked. You certainly weren’t having it. On other occasions, yes. But not right now.

“Billie—”

“Can I have some water?”

“Of course, sickie.”

You could feel her eyes burning your back when you got up. She would rather take care of you. But you weren’t the sick one. Maybe after she was cleared up, you would catch whatever she had. Then you would be sure to give her a hard time too.

You came back with some cold water only minutes later. You would’ve thought she was dead, being so unresponsive to your presence. However, she quickly gulped down the entirety of the water once it was in her hands.

“Just tell me how you feel. I know you’re sick so there’s not point in denying it.”

“My head is pounding, my whole body hurts, i’m hot and cold. Nose is stuffed up. But don’t worry about me, darling. You’re such a worrier.”

She buried her head deeper into the white pillow. She couldn’t smell her own perfume against it, or yours from laying on billie throughout the night. She couldn’t smell anything, she couldn’t even breathe.

“Nonsense, i’m going to worry about you until you’re better. How about breakfast?” You didn’t think she was listening. Maybe she was sleeping. All you heard was muffled mumbles in the pillow.

“I really don’t think I can stomach food right now.” She turned her head back to you. For a moment, she looked so small. Her nose red, and brown eyes big and tired. “I just want to lay here with you.”

“Promise you’ll eat lunch?”

You waited for her to respond, and then you laid and gather her weak body into your arms once she nodded. “You know, you’re going to have to take care of me when you give me whatever you have.”

“I know” she muttered into your shirt, half asleep but still aware.

“And i’m going to put up a fuss like you did.”

“I know.” She breathed. “But you’re lucky I love you because I don’t take that bullshit from anyone.”

You airily laughed at her, fingertips finding her damp locks again. “And I love you, my sickie.”

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[the141ghost]

Price didn't miss the fact that Soap hadn't directly answered his question.

He'd clearly registered that he'd been asked something, but it almost seemed as if he just didn't care enough to answer it.

That was fine by Price. The lack of an answer and how he'd turned his question around into another question gave him more than enough information to work with

It might end up being an awkward conversation, sure. But, it had to be done.

"Well, considering he's fresh out of getting his head cut open and you can't even walk, I'd say give it a few more hours, yeah?" Price asked, a soft, amused smile crossing his face. Hopefully, the news would shock Soap so much he'd leave silence for him to get his next words out.

Fortunately, it did.

"Look, lad, I don't know what's going on between you and Simon. Not any of my business until it starts to affect work, yeah?" Price paused, taking a slow deep breath in. "I'm not gonna pry. I don't need to know how deep these feelings go, but as far as yesterday proves, they are affecting work. That can't be happening, lad, and I'm sorry. I know it's a tough pill to swallow, but whether or not you and Simon have an…" What's the word? "...affection for one another, I don't want that to be the reason that the next time I speak to your mum, it's to tell her that her son is dead. 

No one wants a CNO showing up at their front door, lad. You've got a life waiting for you outside of this place, ey? Do well to remember that."

---

The nurse from earlier was with them when they returned Simon to the room, and she immediately offered Gaz a warm, if not slightly surprised, smile. Clearly, she'd been expecting Price, but she updated him nevertheless. 

The surgery had gone as well as it could have, they relieved the pressure with no incidents. But, now all that they could really do was wait until he woke up to see if he retained neurological functions, these kinds of surgeries always came with risks of the patient never fully going back to normal. 

But, she made sure to add that with how healthy Simon had been prior to the incident, they were feeling positive for a full recovery.

Then, Gaz was left alone in the room with his Lieutenant, weaker and more frail-looking than ever before.

A neat line of stitches ran across his otherwise unblemished cheek, from where the mask had cracked and stabbed into him. Behind the mark, a soft, light splattering of freckles, ran across his nose, brows, and cheekbones. Usually, he'd made sure to cover them, along with his natural honey-blond hair. It hardly lived up to the intimidating persona he'd formed, did it?

The hair was less of an issue right now, however, considering during pre-op, the nurses had buzzed his whole scalp while waiting for the CT results to come back. And, it did make sense why the freckles were so light, usually being covered and all. Give him an hour in the sun, and they'd be much more visible.

But, they were visible enough. The second Simon was together enough to realise how vulnerable and soft he looked right now, the second the panic would truly start to set in.

Then, finally, a massive slab of bandage stuck all the way from his right temple to somewhere on the back of his head. It would end up leaving a big scar, the surgery, but Simon wouldn't mind too much. Just another one for the collection. That evened out the rest of the fragile features, he supposed.

The first thing that registered in his mind, besides pain, was how fucking cold the room was. It was always the way with hospitals, which he quickly came to realise he was in, they had equipment they had to keep cool and the like. It still didn't make it any easier to tolerate, though, especially when a shiver ran down his spine and it felt like shards of glass cutting through every muscle in his torso.

God, everything fucking hurt.

While he'd actually been awake for several minutes at this point, pondering if he was even alive or not and what state he was in considering just how truly shitty he felt, he finally managed to blink open his eyes. 

He scanned the room while his eyes adjusted to the light change. Wall, window, wall, wall, Gaz, wall-

Gaz?

Now, with the permanent knit between his brows back in full force, Simon settled his still-sleepy eyes onto the Sergeant. 

When he finally spoke, his accent was just a touch heavier than usual, not completely incoherent. Yet. "Mornin', Gaz," he mumbled, the raspy, scratchy nature of his voice even surprising him. But, he continued anyway. "Johnny alive?"

Gaz promised that he’d let Price know if anything happened, and once he was reminded of the room he headed up.

He wasn’t sure what to expect when he saw Ghost. Both when it came to what state he was going to be in, and also just… him, if that made any sense. He was wondering if he really knew Ghost well enough for this, like the other two, or if this might be considered some kind of invasion of privacy.

But, Ghost had shown himself, had shown Simon to them all, he reminded himself. He liked to think the two of them were still pretty close, just… in a different way. Price always seemed to act rather like a father might towards him, though he was sure he’d never admit that and also despite the fact there were only about 4 years between them. Soap was… something else. He wasn’t sure if the two of them had ever spoken about it (he doubted it), but the feelings between them certainly went a lot deeper. It was obvious to everyone but them, apparently.

He, on the other hand, saw Ghost as simply a friend. Maybe a brother. A sort of annoying older brother that bullied you and you bullied back in an affectionate way. So, yeah, he did like to think they were close.

Price had told him to keep the jacket in case one of them got cold, but Gaz had a feeling that wasn’t really his intention. He wasn’t entirely sure how a coat was going to help here, but he took it with him anyway, thrown over his arm as he quietly slipped into Ghost’s room.

Johnny was looking back at the ceiling when Price settled down in his seat again. He heard the irritated grumble, and then he heard the update on his mother, neither of which elicited a response out loud.

It didn’t surprise him that his mother hadn’t listened to that, she was a professional at worrying. All three of them, him and his sisters, made sure to tell her that every time she started fretting over something that really wasn’t that important. Though, he supposed this time her worry was probably quite well founded. He felt a bit bad, knowing he made her worry so much, but it would be okay once she got there - he was awake and mostly coherent, he could tell her that he was fine. Apart from the ribs, and the arm, and the ankle, and apparently his kidneys… Alright, maybe he didn’t blame her for worrying this time.

Honestly, he didn’t know how to explain to Price what he was currently feeling. It was like his brain had just given up working a few hours ago, when he’d woke up, and he didn’t know how to put any of those complicated feelings to words. No doubt the drugs weren’t helping with that part, his brain felt like it was moving at a snail’s pace.

Only now that he knew Simon was out of surgery did he finally seem to be starting to find his words again.

He looked over at Price. He must know, right? Surely he wasn’t that clueless. He liked to hope that Price didn’t know just how deep the feelings went, but there was no doubt he still recognised some of the fondness they held for each other, at least. Even if he just saw it as just close friends.

Though, of course, he didn’t want to say that out loud, because if he started talking about Simon right now he wasn’t sure he was going to stop which, okay, that was apparently what Price wanted (he had preferred his rambling to his silence?) but still.

He had to say something though. He didn’t like the sound of Price’s other option. It took him a moment to figure what he wanted to say, which was a first for him, because he really didn’t want to address all of his complicated feelings but still had to somehow explain it all, in not as many words.

Eventually, he simply settled for,

“When can I see him?”

[wonderlandleighleigh]

(1, 2, )

She starts feeling better a few days later, and when she wakes up with Lenny curled in around her, his face buried into the back of her neck, she runs her thumb over the back of his hand tenderly, settled around her.

She never would have gotten through this without him. She would have kept taking more and more of those pills until there was nothing left of her, and she feels guilty about how many times he’s had to save her.

Guilty, and grateful, though she’s still not thrilled about how things ended between them. Abruptly, and with a promise that things would be better that way.

They were not.

Not at all.

The number of “I told you so’s” that spilled out from Joel and Susie about her relationship with Lenny had hurt. And realizing that she really was likely to end up all alone without him.

But here he is, warm and pliant in bed with her. Sleeping deeply. Probably exhausted from helping her for the last week or so.

Maybe she really is just too fucking much for the people in her life.

With that thought, she slips out of bed, unnoticed for once, and wanders into the bathroom, clicking on the lights and gazing at herself in the mirror.

The color has come back to her cheeks, but she still looks just this side of too thin. Her hair is messy, and she shivers. It’s October (a few days before Lenny’s birthday), and it’s just starting to get chilly out.

Had she been easier to handle on those pills? Certainly, she wasn’t funnier, which is how Gordon had clued into something being off. But she wonders if she’s just less of a problem for the people around her when she’s fucked up in that way.

It makes her shiver a little more, and she splashes a little water on her face before wandering back to the bedroom, where Lenny is sitting up, bleary-eyed and waiting for her.

“You should be sleeping,” she whispers as she climbs back into bed next to him.

“So should you,” he responds, tugging her close.

She hesitates, not sure if she should let him pull her in.

“Midge.”

“I’m just-”

“Hey.”

Midge pulls her hands away from him and crosses her arms. “Are you sure you want to get back together?”

Lenny narrows his eyes, looking confused, and a little hurt (which she hates, but-).

“Of course I’m fucking sure,” he says. “Why wouldn’t I be sure?”

She shrugs helplessly.

“Midge, please,” he begs. “Talk to me.”

Midge swallows without looking into his face. “It’s a pattern now. Joel. The Shy thing. You. I’m the problem.”

“Sweetheart, you were only the problem in one of those cases,” he reminds her. “You fucked up the Shy thing, yes. But Joel-”

“I pushed him to it.”

“Bullshit.”

“Lenny-” 

“Bullshit. You did everything for him, and he didn’t want it, and he didn’t tell you,” Lenny says. “And as for me, leaving was an enormous mistake. One of the biggest of my whole life. I’ve been fucking miserable without you.”

“I just don’t want to go through this again,” she tells him, feeling tears threaten her. “I feel like it keeps happening, and I-”

“You,” he says gently. “Are struggling with the reasons you started taking those pills in the the first place, and when you couple that with the last of your withdrawal, it makes it worse.”

She goes quiet and lets that sink in.

“Those are real feelings, but your head is a mess, so it’s making them louder, and more persistent,” Lenny explains. “It’s a terrible, terrible feeling, and I’m sorry.”

The tears fall then and she lets herself crawl closer to him, clinging to him as she cries.

He lays back with her, his hands stroking her back slowly. “I’m not leaving. I’m never, ever leaving again. You’re stuck with me. Joel and Susie are going to be so pissed their heads will explode, and your father is going to be so happy, his head will explode, and we’ll be picking brain matter out of our hair for weeks.”

Midge laughs through a sob, clinging to him more tightly.

“I love you,” he says quietly. “And we will get through this. And we will get through whatever is next, and whatever comes after that. And after that. And you will be so fucking tired of me.”

“Never,” she promises, sitting up a little to gaze at him as she wipes the tears away. She leans in, kissing him slowly, savoring their first kiss since he’s been back, her arms sliding around him, her fingers stroking his hair.

Lenny moans softly, holding her tightly against him. “Okay, now you’re really never getting rid of me.”

Midge just laughs against his lips.

[storiesforallfandoms]

you’re my best friend ~ pete davidson

word count: 2002

request?: yes!

“pete friends to lovers”

description: in which two best friends get super sappy while drunk

pairing: pete davidson x female!reader

warnings: swearing, alcohol and weed usage

masterlist (one, two)

You were already two glasses of wine deep when Pete showed up, two cases of beer in his hands. He had a look of excitement on his face, which slowly fell when he realized there was no one else in your apartment.

“Everyone else cancelled,” you answered his unasked question.

“Everyone?” Pete asked.

You nodded. “Prior commitments or just not wanting to come or some shit.”

Pete came over and plopped himself down on the couch next to you. The case of beer was at his feet and he popped it open, taking out a bottle and immediately chugging it. You looked at him in amusement as he did so. Once he was finished, you asked, “Aren’t they warm?”

“Room temperature,” he corrected.

“Isn’t that gross?”

“A little, but obviously I have to catch up with you so we can be on even playing fields all night.”

You smiled and poured yourself another glass of wine as Pete opened another beer and started to drink again.

Between the heavy amounts of alcohol and the joint that Pete had brought, the two of you had gotten fucked up in no time. At some point you couldn’t even get up off the couch for more drinks, or for water that you both knew you should be drinking. The hangover you were going to have the next day was going to be killer, but in the moment neither one of you really cared.

You were both laid back on the couch, legs intertwined as you laughed at something Pete had said. It probably wasn’t even that funny, but in your inebriated state, everything was hilarious.

“You’re, like, my bestest friend, Pete,” you slurred. “No one else even bothered the show up, but you did!”

“I’m sure everyone else had like...stuff happening,” Pete said. “Adult things like...I don’t know...kids and taxes.”

You retched at the thought. “Yeah, no, I’m good with not having those adult things to do. Having kids, while extremely cute, is also extremely exhausting. But I don’t think anyone would’ve shown. No one else really...hangs out with me anymore.”

You laid your head back so you were looking at the ceiling. You could feel a lump growing in your throat and didn’t want Pete to see if you started crying. You knew this sudden emotion was most likely caused by the alcohol and the weed, but you also knew it was something genuine, a concern you had deep down that you had never voiced to anyone before.

You could hear Pete move to sit up and immediately turned your head away so he couldn’t see your face, even though you knew that looked more suspicious than anything.

“Everyone is busy, (Y/N),” he said, his voice soft. “I’m sure they’ll be able to hang out soon enough.”

“They’re not too busy to miss out on work get togethers, or going out with one another.” You sighed. “I know people grow apart and that’s just what happens when you grow up, I just didn’t think it was going to be all of my friends growing up and drifting apart all at the one time.”

“What am I, chopped liver?”

You giggled and sat up. The room spun around you as you did so and it felt like your stomach lurched. You had to take a moment to steady yourself before focusing your attention on Pete.

“I told you, you’re my bestest friend,” you said.

Pete’s smile slowly faded as he looked at you. “(Y/N), don’t cry please.”

You had forgotten about your emotional moment entirely. You wiped your cheek to find a wet streak running from your eye to your chin. You looked away from Pete again, suddenly feeling ashamed by your needless emotions. You were glad that the two of you were so drunk in that moment and would likely forget all of this the next day.

Pete’s hand lightly touched your chin, lifting it so that you were looking at him again. You looked into his eyes as he used his thumb to wipe the tears from your other cheek. Your breath caught in your throat as you realized how closely the two of you were sat together.

“I’ll always be here,” he assured you. “No matter how much we grow up or grow apart, I’ll always be one phone call away.”

You nodded, unable to get the words to unstick from your throat. You believed him, you knew he’d always be here.

The smell of beer and weed was strong as Pete leaned forward more, and normally you’d hate the smell combination. But you were too distracted by Pete’s eyes to notice, and a moment later you were too distracted by his lips on yours.

You had never viewed Pete as anything more than a friend before. You had grown up together. You were partners in crime since the first day you met in middle school. Your friends, and even your family, often made jokes that the two of you would end up together, but you both laughed it off. You were best friends, two peas in a pod, nothing more.

But now, with his lips moving against yours and his arms pulling you as close to him as you could get, you weren’t so sure. It could’ve been the drunken state the two of you were in, mixed with the emotions you were feeling just moments before. When the two of you sobered up the next day you may have not even remembered what happened, but in the moment you wanted all of him. You wanted his lips, his hands, his body, his heart, and you wanted to give him all of you in return.

His tongue brushed against your lips and you gladly let it in. It was wet and tasted like beer, so not the most romantic thing in the world, but it felt good in the moment. You felt like nothing could ruin what was happening, until your stomach lurched again.

You quickly pulled away from Pete and rushed to the bathroom. You didn’t even have time to kick the door closed behind you before you collapsed next to the toilet and threw up everything you had eaten and drank the past few hours. Pete followed closely behind you, pulling your hair back and gently rubbing your back. When you stopped throwing up for long enough, he got up to get you some water and made you drink it all before he did anything else.

“I didn’t think I was that bad of a kisser,” he joked. You glared at him over your shoulder before throwing up again.

Once you felt steady enough, Pete helped you to your feet. You brushed your teeth and took a mouthful of mouthwash in order to get rid of the taste of vomit. Pete helped you to your bedroom, where he had another glass of water and an Aspirin waiting for you.

“You’ll need that in the morning,” he said. “I’ll let you get changed.”

“You’ll stay with me though, right?” you asked. Suddenly you hated the thought of Pete having to leave.

He smiled. “Of course I will. I just want to give you some privacy while you change. You’re not supposed to see a girl naked till, like, the third date.”

You smiled back at him, a fuzzy feeling building inside of you at the thought of actually going on a date with Pete.

You changed into a pair of comfy pajamas and downed the glass of water Pete had left for you. You ventured out of your room to the kitchen to pour up another glass. You found Pete putting the bottles of beer in the recycling container and putting your glass in the sink.

“Why aren’t you as fucked up as I am right now?” you questioned.

“I could always handle my booze better than you,” he teased. You scowled and stuck your tongue out at him. He chuckled and put an arm around your shoulders. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

After some convincing, Pete agreed to join you in bed. At first he laid a respectable distance away from you, but you moved close to him and placed your head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, running his hands through your hair as your eyes became too heavy to stay open.

“You’ll regret this in the morning,” he murmured. “Or forget it completely.”

“Maybe,” you said, “but let’s wait for the morning to decide that.”

~~~~~~

When you woke up the next morning you groaned in pain. Your head felt heavy and like it had been stabbed by multiple little needles. You opened your eyes but had to shut them again immediately, hissing at the pain that small action caused.

Why the fuck did I drink so much last night? you questioned as you braced yourself and opened your eyes again.

You found yourself alone in bed, which didn’t seem too unusual until you remembered that you hadn’t been alone when you fell asleep. Pete had been there, more specifically he had been cuddling you.

You’ll regret this in the morning, you recalled him saying before you drifted off to sleep. You wondered if he had left before you had the chance to decide how you felt about the events of the night before.

You popped two Aspirin pills into your mouth and swallows them with a mouthful of water. You pulled yourself out of bed and slowly walked out of your room, the only speed you could manage in this state. You were halfway to your kitchen when you realized you were smelling something; bacon. You wondered where the smell was coming from, and didn’t have to look far to get the answer.

Pete was stood by your stove, two plates full of eggs and toast already sat next to him. When he heard you enter, he turned and greeted you with a smile.

“Good morning sleeping beauty!” he said. His loud voice pierced your ears and you quickly covered them and groaned. He chuckled. “You poor thing, you’re gonna hate today.”

“I already do,” you said. “Is that for me?”

He looked down at the plate of breakfast. “One of them is, yeah. Do you think you can keep it down?”

“I can try.”

The two of you sat at your dining room table and began to eat. Although your stomach still didn’t feel right, the food was definitely soaking up whatever alcohol was left in your system and thus was making the splitting headache you had subside just a little bit.

There was an awkward silence looming over the two of you. Despite what you thought the night before, you could still remember every detail; the emotional conversation, the kiss, the cuddling, how you felt when the latter two things were happening. You knew Pete remembered because he certainly wasn’t as fucked up as you were.

“Do you regret it?” you found yourself suddenly asking.

Pete looked up from his breakfast, fake confusion on his face. “What do you mean?”

You gave him a look. “Pete, I remember last night. I remember what we did, and what you said before I fell asleep.”

He sighed, turning his attention back to his food. “I don’t know...do you regret it?”

“I don’t,” you admitted. “If anything, I...I feel whatever the opposite of regret is. The only thing I regret is getting so drunk I threw up after we kissed.”

He smiled. “Yeah, that’s not exactly great timing.”

You looked at him, still waiting for his answer. Finally, he looked up at you again and said, “I don’t regret it either.”

“So what do we do now?” you asked.

Pete thought for a moment before saying, “I take you out on a date, one where we’re both completely sober, and we decide if we really want to do this. How does that sound?”

You smiled brightly at him. “I think that sounds like a great plan.”

[loomis-maxima]

𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥

a/n :  this is... pure filth and i’m not even sorry, im also sleep deprived so if it sucks, my bad. word count : 4k requested : yes and no warnings :  18+ only/ mentions of drugs/threesome/unprotected sex/name calling yk.. all the good stuff. [ty to @anongirl007 for brainstorming shit w me]

It was known that Chishiya and Niragi were both men that liked getting what they wanted, and they both knew exactly how to get it. The problem with that is they’re both so similar, but so different. Niragi would use his placement in the Militans and his twisted love for inflicting fear, pain and murder on anyone that would get in his way or try and stop him from having what he truely desired. _______________ Almost nothing was worse than the feeling of entering a game that was literally based on luck. Even with such a simple task to pick between 3 pills. One, that will kill you the second you take it. The other two.. Not as bad. Separated from your game partners, you stared down at three simple pills on top of a simple desk. That’s all that was in the room, besides the door to get out. You assumed Niragi and Chishiya’s rooms looked similar. The thoughts of taking the wrong pill and having your life ended, sent fear through your whole body, but there was a feeling of adrenaline that rushed through you too. Maybe that explained the current.. situation.. That you had gotten yourself into with Niragi, basically signing yourself up to be used by him whenever he felt like it, but also all while wanting some part of Chishiya. If Niragi knew that his toy wanted someone other than him, he would be rabid, let alone that someone being the one Niragi hated the most… he wouldn’t hesitate to make you regret even having the thought of another man. Don’t get it mixed up, there was only one reason why he wanted you, and it definitely wasn’t in a romantic way, to him, you’re just a hole he could have anytime, any place. Which was fine for you.. But you couldn’t help but shake the want for Chishiya. Focusing your thoughts back on the objective at hand, you looked closely at the small pills before you. No matter how hard you thought, you couldn’t figure this out. Checking the time on the phone that was provided you saw that you had one minute left to make a decision. You didn’t even want to think about what would happen if you ran out of time. Unlike Chishiya and Niragi, you didn’t observe the entrance to the separate rooms close enough to have figured this out. What you managed to miss was along the long hallway, there were three smaller hallways in front of them, all leading  to three different rooms. They both picked up the repeating numbers unlike you, leaving you to your game of luck.  With the sound of your phone alerting you that you had 30 seconds left to complete the game,  you could have swore you felt a bead of sweat roll down your forehead. Your heart pounded in your ears as hurriedly picked up the second pill,  the ten second countdown began. Without time to think you threw the pill into your mouth and swallowed it just before the countdown hit one. You closed your eyes tight,  waiting for something to happen. Nothing. ‘’I passed’’ you said to yourself quietly, opening your eyes to look around the room. The door in front of you that was once sealed shut was opening right before your eyes.  The feeling of relief quickly ran through your body as you exited the room before walking down another long white hallway to another door, leading you back out to the world. ________________________________ Unlike what you thought, the pill you ended up taking wasn’t the pill that had no side effects.. Instead, shortly after arriving at the Beach, you felt red hot all over your body,  your hands were clammy and there was a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. You hoped Kuina couldn’t tell there was something up with you, especially not knowing what it was yourself. You could thank the blue light that's shining from the pool for slightly blocking out how red your face was. As you both  discussed the different games each of you had taken part in, you caught a glimpse of familiar long, dyed grey hair passing through the crowd. Once you could distinctly see Chishiya’s face you instantly felt that feeling in your stomach almost multiply. As he approached you and Kuina, he could quickly tell that something was up with you. Chishiya made note of the flush in your cheeks unlike everyone else, the way a couple of strands of your hair stuck to your forehead because of the heat that had taken over your whole body, the fact your pupils had largened, or the way your lips were slightly parted, almost as if you were lost for breath.. But not to the extent that  it was noticeable, except for Chishiya. He had studied every single detail on your face when you had first joined the Beach. Never admitting it though, deep down he knew how he felt about you, never to mention it or even hint at the idea. Chishiya knew that would make him look weak, and that was something he couldn’t have happen. Chishiya stood beside Kuina, his hood up but his head slightly back with an amused smirk lightly on his face. He raised an eyebrow at you, ‘’So what pill did you pick y/n?’’ he asked, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. His voice caused your ear tips to burn as you felt a sudden warmth between your legs.. Fuck. Trying to distract yourself from the feeling, that almost became painful, you racked your brain to remember what number you had chosen. ‘’Uh.. 2, I think, why?’’ you asked,  trying to keep your voice steady, not even believing your own voice. It looked as if Chishiya slightly chuckled at your answer, for a moment you wondered if he knew, but how would he?  Chishiya just shrugged a little before speaking. ‘’No reason, just curious’’ he lied right to your face, all while figuring out how to use this to his advantage. He knew had taken the middle pill just from one look at you, but he also knew exactly what was going to happen. Of course with just your luck, you had picked the one that just happened to be narcotics, crushed up and put into an empty pill capsule to match the appearance of the other too. You didn’t notice Kuina disappearing to join Arisu, until you noticed Chishiya take a step a little closer to you.  You also didn’t notice the eye contact he had made with Niragi across the pool, and that was the first step to his idea, this would’ve been the best advantage he could ever have had. ‘’You should really be careful with the pill you took’’ he said smirking slightly, intentionally trying to catch Niragi’s attention and have him come over. You didn’t know what to say, words being ripped from your brain as his slightly rough voice sent a feeling of a deep need to be fucked as you felt even more warmth leak from between your legs. He took your silence as his go ahead to continue speaking, ‘’you really shouldn’t be out here when the drugs fully take over if you think this is bad right now’’ What he said next was something you never would have thought of him saying this, ‘’you should go to your room, I’ll come after and help you’’ he spoke with a wink.  It was the most uncharacteristic for him- At least towards you. You took no convincing as you knew exactly what he meant, also not giving a shit about what would happen if and when Niragi found out. The almost pure animalistic feeling of lust ran over you. You didn’t care what would happen, you needed to be filled and it was gonna happen one way or another. ‘’Don’t take too long.’’ you said while nodding, then walking off back into the large building Just as Chishiya hoped, once you had retreated back inside to wait for him, Niragi had approached him. The wink that he had given to Niragi’s toy, was one step too far. Before Niragi could even open his mouth, Chishiya spoke. ‘’Before you start with your brainless insults and threats, you should know that in the game, you clearly didn’t know the effects of the pills.’’ he smirked, not fearing Niragi was always a benefit, especially when Chishiya could once show off his superiority and intellect. The two were rivals, both thinking that they were better than the other and would go to any lengths to prove it. But this time Niragi didn’t speak back as fast as usual, but the angry expression still resonated on his face, his tongue in his cheek, his pierced eyebrow raised while staring down the shorter man. With Niragi’s instinct he pressed the tip of his rifle right to Chishiya’s chest, ‘’well tell me, or I’ll blow your heart out in front of everyone here.’’ Niragi spat into his face, he hated how Chishiya could have the balls to even think of speaking back to him, the fact he didn’t fear him only intensified the hate for the intellectual grey haired man. Calling Niragi’s bluff, he let out a little scoff of air with a slight grin on his face as he spoke, ‘’You wouldn’t. Here’s why; if you kill me, you’ll never know. So unless you give me what I want, I won’t tell you.’’ he said, still standing strong even with the rifle pressed right against him. Niragi frowned right at him, he knew he was right. Niragi scoffed, his stubbornness working against him when he needed to know what Chishiya knew. After a few moments of silence, Niragi took the firearm from his chest. Chishiya knew this was risky, but he knew exactly how it would play out. Another competition between them. ‘’And what the fuck do you want?’’ Niragi said, his voice almost like a knife as the words came from his mouth. ‘’Considering I know you won’t let me have was I really want, I’ll compromise.’’ Chishiya spoke, standing up straighter and crossing his arms over his chest. Playing his cards right, he could get Niragi to agree before verbally agreeing. ‘’y/n took the wrong pill. Intense narcotics and assuming you right now, you took the right pill like me. The bad, or good thing about the drugs, is she’s going to be chasing a release that she won't be able to satisfy herself of.’’ He took a breath to try and let Niragi figure out what he means, except he didn’t. With another little chuckle under his breath Chishiya spoke out again. ‘’It means someone else has to do it. And knowing you wouldn’t let anyone fuck her, we’re both going to do it. Just another thing I’ll prove better than you at.’’ Chishiya knew the last comment would get under Niragi’s skin. With a slight nod of Niragi’s head and him accepting the challenge, it was set. ‘’Don’t be disappointed when you realise I’m the only one that can make her scream, Chishiya.’’ With a slight game plan of how they would go about this, the two rivals headed to your room. Niragi hung back a bit after knowing you were waiting for Chishiya. The thought of his property letting someone else have you made his blood boil, he’d make sure you knew it too. Ahead of him, Chishiya walked to your room and let himself in. But the sight that he had been greeted with almost knocked the wind out of his chest. You, lying naked on your bed, your skin almost looking hot as you had your head back with one hand holding your hair back from your face. Your eyes were shut as your other hand was roughly rubbing your clit, your fingers occasionally dipping into your entrance causing you to leave a visibly wet patch underneath you. The pleasure you were giving yourself was so needed that you weren’t aware of Chishiya entering and staring at you like you were his last meal. It was when you felt weight dip at the end of the bed and a hand running up your leg that you realised you weren’t alone. Your throat tightened and you removed your hand once you opened your eyes to see Chishiya moving his hand up to your core.  ‘’You really couldn’t wait huh?’’ he said, his fingers travelling up to where you needed him. You shook your head desperately, feeling your wetness dripping as you clenched pathetically around nothing. Chishiya smirked, looking down at your pussy, slowly dragging the tips of his fingers over your clit teasingly. The action made you almost cry out in need. ‘’Look at you.. So desperate.’’ you heard as you felt two of his fingers pushing into you before pulling them out and putting them into his mouth just as you made eye contact with him, sucking the wetness from you off them. Standing up he quickly pulled his clothing off. While pulling you to him and flipping you over onto your hands and knees, you facing the door. For reasons you wouldn’t know yet. Feeling you press yourself against him, Chishiya smirked to himself. ‘’You’re really desperate for it, aren’t you?’’ he said, running his tip along your folds, His words only pulling a whine and a nod from you, not understanding why he was dragging it out so long. You felt him lean over you to speak into your ear, his breath was harsh on the sensitive skin by your neck. ‘’As pretty as you are when you’re a mess, I won’t drag it out anymore, because I’ve waited too long to have this cunt all to myself.’’ . On the last word you felt his thick length slowly pushing into you, throwing his head back at the feeling of you around him. The pace he was going at was enough to break you fully. The feeling of him filling you as much as possible had you crying for more. In a desperate attempt to get some friction, you started grinding back against him causing his slightly curved dick to hit the right spot inside you, but slowly in and out. ‘’Chishiya please’’ you cried, burying your head into the sheets of the bed to muffle the whimpers that he was dragging out of you. He slowly started picking up the pace, each time hitting even harder and harder against you. Chishiya pulled your head back by your hair, your eyes rolling to the back of your head from the red hot feeling on your scalp that he had you in a rough grip by. ‘’Oh no y/n, you’re to call me Sir. Got it?’’ he groaned while fucking into you harder. Tears stung at your eyes, nodding as much as you could as he still controlled your head. ‘’Yes s-sir’’ As he was holding your head back and pounding into you, you opened your eyes and your heart almost stopped. Your eyes fell upon Niragi, standing right at the door leaning against it with his arms folded over his chest and he looked pissed.  The awkward part being is having locked eyes with him as Chishiya fucked you through your first orgasm, a scream being ripped from your throat from the feeling of finally getting release, but you needed more. Noticing you looking back at him he pushed himself from the doorway dropping his arms while walking over to you as Chishiya let you fall to your chest, but continuing his steady pace of pounding into you. ‘’Really Chishiya? Sir? What makes you think any part of you is sir?’’ Chishiya’s eyebrows furrowed, his hair disheveled and just snapped back at him. ‘’The part that has y/n crying because of how good I can fuck her.’’ Niragi  crouched in front of you with a look on his face that confused you. He almost looked amused. ‘’I knew it… You’re just a desperate little slut aren’t you?’’ Niragi said as he dragged his thumb along your cheek and across the tears that had run down your face from both pleasure and terror. He dragged his thumb across the tip of his tongue to taste the salty tears with a chuckle. Clinking of metal filled the room, the sound of Niragi’s clothes hitting the floor made you realise the situation you were in so you held yourself up with shaky arms that threatened to give way under you. Niragi smirked down at you as he ran his hand over the top of your head before harshly connecting the same hand to your face right after. Niragi knew exactly what you liked, and so did Chishiya as he felt you clench even harder around him as Niragi had marked your face. Knowing Niragi didn’t like to be kept waiting, you quickly opened your mouth for him to have full access to your throat. Putting his hand back into your hair, Niragi took hold of you as he pushed his cock between your lips, your throat opening up almost immediately, he basically had you trained. ‘’The only thing your mouth is good for is fucking.’’ NIragi said as he started thrusting roughly into your mouth. The timing of both men fucking you made sure you were always full, if Niragi wasn’t down your throat, Chishiya was buried in you, and vice versa. With the roughness of Chishiya’s thrusts caused Niragi’s cock to hit the back of your throat causing you to lose breath each time. They continued like this, using you at each end to their will. Niragi’s dick hit a little harder, causing your throat to close around his long length and choke. The feeling was so euphoric to Niragi he caught the back of your head and shoved your nose flush against his pelvic bone. He let out a mix of a laugh and a moan, almost sounding maniacal as he continued to ram your throat. ‘’That’s it, let daddy fuck your throat. I know you can take it’’ His words made Chishiya chuckle as he pulled out of your entrance, needing to take a break or else he would’ve cum right then. ‘’You’re so predictable Niragi�� how pathetic’’ Chishiya’s words made Niragi’s assault on you stop, pulling his cock from your mouth. You coughed and spluttered trying to breathe, a task that was failing due to the burning in your core of feeling empty.  ‘’Please.. Just fuck me’’ you said breathlessly, laying back down with your hand once again travelling between your legs. Chishiya didn’t have to be asked twice, lying back against the bed he rubbed his hand over his now red cock. You didn’t hesitate moving over him and hovering above his length before he grabbed your hips and slammed you down on him. Another scream was pulled from you as he started to fuck up into you,  your hands that were once resting on his chest now by his head, holding onto his hair with your head buried in his neck as he continued to rail you. With moaning in his ear, and a mixture of your breathless voice begging for him to fuck you through another orgasm along with the sound of your broken voice repeatedly saying; ‘’sir’’ he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. You felt Niragi behind you, but didn’t pay much mind as you felt another wave wash over you. ‘’Fuck.. Yes, cum all over my dick’’ Chishiya said, somehow managing to hit a new speed as you cried out, moaning as you felt liquid rush out of you. Chishiya’s moan was sinful, he knew he was close but he couldn’t let himself cum just yet. Just as you felt the pleasure fade, you felt something cold drip on you from behind. A familiar feeling approaching as you felt one of Niragi’s long finger enter your hole that yet stuffed. The feeling wasn’t there for too long before you felt empty again, but soon that changed. Chishiya steadied his hips, realising what his enemy was now doing. You both heard Niragi moan, probably the sexiest moan you had ever heard, as your tight asshole slowly stretched to accommodate his huge dick. The pain of him shoving all of his length into your ass soon passed as Chishiya took the chance to start fucking you again. Your body went limp as both of their thrusts started to sync up, each time both as aggressive as each other. You didn’t even care that they made it into a competition, the feeling of having them both bottoming out of both of your holes was something you never experienced before, and might have just been the best. It wasn’t long after Niragi started to fuck your ass like his life depended on it, that your next orgasm washed over you. This one being so intense you couldn’t stop shaking and it felt like it never would end. More unintelligible mumbles of the words ‘’daddy’’ and ‘’sir’’ couldn’t stop falling out of your mouth. Both men enjoying the fact they broke you down finally, convinced they had literally fucked the brain cells out of you Niragi pulled you back against his chest, sinking back onto his heels so both men could continue chasing their own high. By the twitching of Chishiya’s cock inside you, you knew he was close, so was Niragi. ‘’Fuck, y/n, you’re so fucking tight, I wonder how Niragi feels about me filling his little toy up’’ Chishiya said breathlessly, causing Niragi to animalisticly growl but not speaking due to being so close to spilling himself inside you. The grey haired man’s hands reached up to grab both of your breasts, pinching your nipples as one of Niragi’s hands coming down to your front before pinching your clit a couple of times. The sounds you were making almost made both men cum on the spot. You could see the desperation on Chishiya’s face, and hear the desperation in Niragi. ‘’My little slut ready? You gonna cum?’’ Niragi moaned into your ear, one hand still rubbing your clit desperately all while biting down on your ear, ‘’daddy’s gonna fill that ass so good’’ and thats all it took. Both men sensing you clench around them, they finally were reaching their own release. Niragi dropped you on your chest on top of Chishiya before leaning over you, his hand holding himself up above you and Chishiya. One of your hands twisting into Chishiya’s hair, the other being twisted into Niragi’s hair behind you. The pleasure from the last orgasm was so intense, you could feel yourself getting light headed, you tugged on both mens hair while you buried your face into Chishiya’s neck, his hot skin becoming stained with your tears, but in a good way. Chishiya guided one of his hand to the back of your head, almost a sweet gesture, except his thrusts faltered along with Niragi’s as they both finally peaked, both of them sinfully moaning and swearing under their breaths and both finally releasing inside of you. You thought you couldn’t cum anymore at this point, but the filthy feeling of having both men fuck their cum into both your holes sent you into overdrive, your final orgasm finally rushing through you, Niragi could tell and pulled you up slightly so he could rub your clit with lightning speed causing you to squirt everywhere. As you all rode your orgasms out, Niragi was the first to pull himself from you in time to watch his cum slowly drip out of the hole he had abused for so long. You lifted yourself, barely, from on top of Chishiya and lying on your back, struggling to breathe. Already getting dressed, Niragi commented to Chishiya, ‘’See? I am better at it than you.’’ Shaking his head but not moving to get up Chishiya spoke out, his own breathing irregular too. ‘’No, I think we might need to have round 2.’’

[rragnaroks]

more favourite lyrics, better hold on to your hats cos this might turn out long

love from the other side

what would you trade the pain for / i'm not sure

we were a hammer to the statue of david

this city always hangs a little bit lonely on me, loose / like a kid playing pretend in his father's suit

we're told we gotta get ahead no matter what it takes / but there's no way off the hamster wheel on this rat race

the kinda pain you feel to get good in the end

inscribed like stone and faded by the rain: "give up what you love before it does you in"

heartbreak feels so good

we could cry a little, cry a lot / -- / we'll cry later or cry now

hold me like a grudge

i'm just a cherub, riding comets through the night sky / screaming at the stars like night lights / and i love my life, love my life

you put the "fun" into "dysfunction"

part-time soulmate, full-time problem

i am a diamond on the inside, just add the pressure / know it's inside me, but i got no map to my own treasure

call you up and demand you have no fun without me

fake out

make no plans and none can be broken

do you laugh about me whenever i leave? / or do i still need more therapy

we all started out as shiny dimes / but we all got flipped too many times

heaven, iowa

i've unspooled / on the floor / i feel so "a star is born" / kiss my cheek / baby, please / would you read my eulogy?

scar crossed lovers

half your life you've been hooked on death

so good right now

*the whole of so good right now, with the cognitive dissonance going on within the lyrics themselves, juxtaposed on top of that super upbeat music*

i can't actually do the pink seashell, can i?

i am my own muse:

the trumpets bring the angels, but they never came / and no one let them in 'cause they didn't know my name

i'm just trying to keep it together / but it gets a little harder when it never gets better / i'm trying to keep it together

flu game:

i've got all this love i've got to keep to myself / all this effort to make it look effortless

i grind in the sunshine / grind in the rain / so real that i feel fake

can't stop til we catch all your ears though / somewhere between mike tyson and van gogh

baby annihilation:

time is luck and i wish ours overlapped more / or for longer

charcoal crushed, pixie fever, angel dust / stuck in a wasteland we covered / in glitter and broadcast / just for a little serotonin

self-sabotage at best under your spell / but you know what they say / if you want a job done right you gotta do it yourself

the kintsugi kid (ten years):

i'm pretty sure as far as humans go / i am a hard, hard pill to swallow / and I know I'm not your intended dose

mix the low low low lights with the / low low lowlifes

what a time to be alive

everything is lit except my serotonin / everything is lit except my lightning bolt brain

when i said "leave me alone" / this isn't quite what i meant

so it seems the vulture's getting too full to fly

so much for stardust

i'm in a winter mood / dreaming of spring now / -- / stuck in the permafrost

another year of possibilities left unwrapped / like gifts the day right after christmas past / and i'm pretty positive my pain isn't cool enough

like a sledgehammer to a disco ball / crushing all my low low low lows / ache it till you make it

i think i've been going through it / and i've been putting your name to it

i used to be a real go-getter / i used to think it'd all get better

so much for stardust

favourite lyric at the moment:

"it was an uphill battle

but they didn't know, but they didn't know

we were gonna use the roads as a ramp to take off"