#keeping the peace: halvor ic

[nihoneshi]

It was perhaps one of those days, where Halvor had slept in several days, finally letting his body recharge, and telling by the new bandages upon his arms and his stomach, it's obvious that someone was in his home at one point to change out the bandages while they were asleep at that time. Taking a moment to stretch out in bed, before yawning and trying to stand up, failing back down into his bed, obviously still stiff from being asleep for that long, Halvor takes a few moments to stretch while sitting up at the foot of his bed.

Staring at the Window, and then at the clock in the corner of the room... It was evening, and then he looked around, on just how potentially long he had slept, it was long enough for his bandages to be changed, so when the dragon can finally stand, Halvor takes time to head into the living room, to find a nice steaming cup of tea on the coffee-table, which meant Lucas was here very recently.

Halvor's glad the other had the strength and mental fortitude to continue helping him through this, Halvor grabs the cup of tea with his stronger hand, given how his left wrist is bandaged and currently weak, he uses his right hand to hold it, taking a deep sigh as he took a sip, figuring out the notes of peach and hibiscus. Lucas always had him figured out with how he liked tea more than coffee on nearly any occasion.

He'll enjoy it.. Outside perhaps? Halvor exits his home for the first time in weeks, and while he doesn't exactly leave his walkway or go out further, he sits on the bench by his flowerbed.. the azalea's among other flowers that others had gifted him were growing in beautifully, and it looks like Lucas was also taking care of them...bless him for that.

[ I need.. to take a photo of these in the light of the sunset.. it's intriguing how the warm palette compliments the azalea... ]

But without a camera, Halvor would have to wait, and with winter on the horizon, it also meant the time for pink-yellow hued sunrises and cooler hued sunsets...

Maybe that's another reason to strive for life---to see the beautiful nature of sunrises and sunsets as the seasons pass. He'll have to move some of the summer flowers into his home as winter gets closer, it's one of the only things keeping him occupied, that, and.. through his sips of tea, the dragon stares up at the sunset, clearing his throat until the tea is able to cut through the crap in his throat.

Setting down the empty cup, Halvor takes a deep breath in order to steel his resolve... he'll try it again.

[ Lonely energy, strike a beat in my heart and make it fly --- Please make both sadness and excitement perfectly beautiful An addictiveness involving love ; Don't lose sight... ] Vocalizing gently, a quiet toned voice strained with emotions that he didn't think he was capable of feeling at that very moment, the dragon nearly spaces out as he stares out into the vast warm skyline, his heart audible, fluttering as he realizes that he was once more alone, singing and thinking to himself yet again. Halvor sighs, taking in the sunset and heading back inside with his empty cup, closing the door behind him...

[reimahowaido]

Spyro: Reignited review part 4.5

Great to start the evening/night off with something I love~~ So let's talk about those Peace Keeper Dragons, shall we~? Titan - What an introduction! This man is rearing to go! Or should I say, roaring to go. You know I had to make that pun~ Aaaah, buddy yeeeees~ I love the purple/magenta/flirt color they used for the accents along with the orange. He's got a nice axe and a great voice and everything about this design is so gooood. Even that exit animation~ I've not mentioned them a lot so far, but some of those are great too. Really embodies that feel you get when you enter the second homeworld Magnus - Big boiiiiii. He's Full of personality! And I enjoy his colors too. They really got those sumo wrestler vibes right on him and honestly I do really like him, he's greeeeat~ I think I might like him more than I did at first. He's definitely grown on me Gunnar - First of all, love the eyepatch. I'll always love eyepatch wearing characters. That's just Aesthetics.jpg to me~ Not to mention that that's a nice color scheme, and good voice - as seems to be the common thing with most these dragons xD A bit too many teeth and face spikes for my liking, but he's good

Conan - From a simple 'Thank you for releasing me' to someone I actually remember~ Not a favourite design, but I do recognize this reference. Didn't read the books, but I remember the Donald Duck comics on Don Quijote (*Proceeds to google name to know how to write that*). The fact he's facing the wrong way at first is brilliant too. Simple but shows that they really put a lot of love and effort into these games~ Although I Do Really like that wing color Boris - "Dry Canyon rewards good gliders" Don't remind meeee. Boris nooo I suck at gliding. A lot of people seem to like his design too, and yeah it's nice, the little rattle snake tail, the bull horns and the bell. Yeah I can kinda see what they were going for. He's alright, I like the wing colors again and he fine, but bruh, gliding. His voice is very nice too though, I can't lie Ivor - Honestly probably one of my favourites of the older elder dragons. He's got that design theme around an old bomber, he sounds nice and his attempt at remembering and saying something nice to Spyro is pretty wholesome. I like this fella. Oh, and it looks like at the end when he's supposed to leave, he sneezes, in the direction of the bomb he's holding so carefully. Uh oh. Uh oh Ivor. We all better hope he either doesn't have fire breath or that he's veteran enough with those bombs to not let such an accident happen. Because if not, oh no Maximos -Heeeere comes one cute big boi~ I did go and check on what I wrote before, I cheated on myself, R.I.P. but I still agree, he does look like a pitbull/bull terrier in a way. Tiny wings for a big boi~ He knows how to appreciate good well seasoned food and we love him for that. I'm not angry at him for being at a place where it wasn't exactly all that easy to get to because I was able to get there first try (and then I died and/or failed several times and had to go get the key again, woop). I like him, and especially that little "Oh, oh I got a little carried away didn't I." feel at the end Halvor - Yeeeee I like him~ He's really cute with his big ram headed hammer. I know that's probably not the first thing that people think of when it comes to Halvor, but I freaking love the lean/hugging of the hammer at the end of his speech. Also he's got a kinda unique color scheme. I like this fella, I dooo Enzo - Not a lot of time to take in this dude's whole design, we don't see or hear a lot of him. I gotta admit I'm not personally a biiiig fan of that chin. Not the worst design I don't think, and the crossbow is cool, even if you only really see a small glimce of it as he's leaving Marco - Slinky lanky prosthetics boi~ Representation here he is~ And he has a halberd too~ I love these little things they're greatttt. He's nice too, gives off some weapon crafter feel to be honest. Yeah he's not as big or buff as the others, but the variety makes me like him more Ulric - Lots of dragons in Ice Cavern, and the first one of them is red, nice contrasting color to be honest. He's got great animations. Not the most memorable to me, but not bad either. He's another fella who is very much fine Todor - But let's be honest, the real reason why anyone else in Ice Caverns loses some of their shine is because Todor Is Here~ Yeeee he my favourite, I really like him ok? Long lanky boi, with big feathery wings that have a very pretty gradient. Nice light blue color, fur, big bow, he's got actual ears, antlers as horns..... Yeah, He's great. I like this fella a lot. Sneaky man giving Spyro some hints. He wink. His releasing animation kinda looks like he was peering upwards as if to go 'yo what is that' so he was seemingly paying attention and aware of what was going on. And at the end he takes his bow and seemingly readies himself to go get stuff done. Love him, love him so much. The only thing I'm not 110% on is the goatie. Not the biggest fan of goaties, sorry ya'll. So, a, part of me is like... What if he has ice breath instead of a fire one? That goatie looks a little like it's frozen, so maybe it's just ice stuck to his chin. Or not but you know! And again, I love

this whole thing where there are different bodytypes for the dragons. Seeing the slimmer fellas among all the big buff bois is refreshing, makes Todor all the greater and more unique to me Andor - Another 'thank you for releasing me' dragon. I like the necklace he was given, it's big and bold and adds a nice little thing to the design itself (wow those words are contradictory, big little, I English, Yes). Big lion tail, he's very polite as he bows. Doesn't do a lot, but I like the design regardless Asher - And another few worded fella with some added lines this time. I kinda get a feeling he was about to get to some life lessons or such and the other Ice Cavern dragons just scattered - makes you feel a little bad for the fella. There's a lot of them in the level, so I kinda see them all as a unit, where the younger dragons are a little unruly, perhaps a tad over confident or narcissistic (Ulric boasts on his size, Todor is sneaky, Andor is polite but will sneak away with the others when a chance is given, Ragnar starts his talk off with a whole 'I, me, I am pretty great ain't I' so he falls under the stuff too. Andor is the least troubling of them all, but they're a bit of a team of rascals. Capable and get their job done, but a little unruly at times, which is why Asher is there. I feel. I've made a whole story of their relations now xD) Asher is fine, he's fine. He's got a lot on his hands Ragnar - I like his design. The smoke from his nostrils is a nice detail and gives him some uniqueness. The hothead of the team? Maybe? Certainly a fire breather though, keeps the place and others warm. I dunno what else to say, I like him in his simplicity Trondo - This man got attitude. Very expressive. Cool weapon bro, also a slightly sneaky hint on 'watch his back'. He's fine, decent, I do like him too and there's some unique feel to him. Not up there in my favourites, but I'd say like solid middle ground or such? Man, I should be doing one of those tier lists now shouldn't I. Oh boy

[nihoneshi]

(luteoflaughs) Tomas left a letter near to Halvor's home. "Feel no guilt, you were a victim. I was the villain, the one who betrayed you. Nothing I could say will ever make up for my actions. I am undeserving of your mercy, so hearing you never told anyone is a thing that fills me with more regret. I wish I could say this in person, but I don't want to make you suffer more. I am sorry, I would tell people myself but I can't. Nestor may suffer if I do, my only wish is that you be happy, Goodbye.

@luteoflaughs

He wasn’t expecting to see the note pinned to his door. He recognized the handwriting, recognized who it was. It was Tomas--who had betrayed his trust in the worst way possible and is the reason he’s been WATCHED for so long so he doesn’t end his god-forsaken life. He’s the fucking reason he’s suffered for so long, the reason his intrusive thoughts have been so bad, is the reason why the Peace Keeper hadn’t felt genuine happiness. Halvor grips his bandaged arm and wrist and snarls, burning the letter to ash.

The next couple of minutes shows the Peace Keeper sliding down the side of his door, hands on his knees, tears dripping down his already anguished and saddened gaze. This isn’t fucking MERCY. They have to be fucking with him--harassing him like this isn’t a good idea. He doesn’t have a reason to start more hell in the Dragon Realms. Everyone is so fucking stressed, Ragnar’s downright suicidal over several decade old clan affairs, a lot of the Peace Keepers are mentally crushed from the news and the last fucking thing anyone needs is Halvor telling them everything.

So guess what? He’ll just continue to suffer. And then the intrusive thoughts hit, bickering and laughing as voices become their usual nuisances once more. Halvor, sadly, is so tired of the voices, and... and he rips off the brace and the bandages. ANYTHING. ANYTHING TO MAKE THIS PAIN CEASE. He’s unknowningly completely recessed thanks to this ‘apology’ of a letter. Claws dig into his scales and break once more. He hasn’t felt this in months. Yowling and screaming, covering his mouth soon after as the Peace Keeper is reduced to sobs, old scars reopened because they simply just could not leave him alone.

Soon it is nothing but soft, muffled sobs in a trembling form at the foot of his door, nearly curled up wishing for the thoughts to go away, claws continuing to dig, hoping the shocks of pain would send the dragon signals to stop thinking about this. Alas, this isn’t healthy. They all spent months helping Halvor recover from a the facade that it was war flashbacks and such. It was worse. Much worse--one of their owns in the realm had manipulated him, betrayed his trust, and made him feel disgusted and uncomfortable with his body. Ashamed, even, willing to destroy it because he didn’t feel well enough with it all.

Alas, having read the letter aloud, any unfortunate soul listening from a distance could’ve learned the truth, but it’s the middle of the night, Halvor’s the only dragon awake during this time at least in the hub-world of the Peace Keepers world.

“S-Stop...tormenting me. “

They cry to himself, grasping his wrist, having realized he had deeply messed up... Great. His vision blurs, seeing red engulf the green of his lawn and the silvers and greys of the rustic finishes the rocks and minerals have leading up to his home. He’s hit a vein. Not good. But--the pain is soothing. It’s so soothing in fact, that Halvor numbly stares at the stars. He just.. doesn’t care anymore, for all he cares, the intrusive thoughts won. His tormentor had won.

Sleep.

[nihoneshi]

It’s supposed to be a regular morning, Halvor guesses, the flowerbed outside his home is now growing nicely, the oasis he and the others had started upon had finally come to fruition--even more so that it was raining in their homeworld, at long last. Vegetation was finally growing at a healthy rate, and, well, Halvor’s mood only improved thanks to it. Sure, his emotional state was still not the best, and he still really wasn’t allowed to leave the homeworld without supervision, because, well, not even Halvor trusts himself at the moment.

There’s brand new bandages over still healing injuries, It’s been three months, Halvor. wounds that you’ve brought upon yourself will take much longer than normal ones from war. Battles you can get over--personal demons will take awhile. He thinks to himself, sitting outside upon the hill that his home was on, water dripping off of his shined scales, outside of his bandages, which were given a waterproofing spell by Cosmos hours before he’d gone to sleep, thanks to knowing the weather.

“Our home-world is..finally looking beautiful, nothing can stop it now...right?”

[nihoneshi]

 “ Is there a way I can get Lucas out of the whole getting kidnapped and forcing me to fight my way there? Tradition. As boring as the Magic Crafter’s traditions are, It’s too much of an emotional hazard to take part...even if it’s staged.”

[nihoneshi]

It’s mostly pitch-black outside, the clouds have hidden away the moonlight from shining out, a cool breeze emits through the Peace-Keepers land, a rare occurrence indeed. Halvor’s put on new armor-braces on his lower arms and wrists. It’s to hide his wrists, and, to, well, stop him from even thinking of doing it again, to stop it from further damage. It’s been.. four months since the whole ordeal. And another 2 months from the initial issue that broke the camel’s back. Halvor’s just trying to survive his own thoughts at this point.

Not many know of the true intentions of the incident, or even how he was feeling. Lucas couldn’t constantly keep watch over them, and, the fact he was keeping this a secret? They couldn’t get over it, they couldn’t live with this, This was something Halvor truly wanted out of the minds of as many as he could. There’s worse issues going on right now, issues that are a lot more apparent with how some of the others are acting as of late within the group of Peace Keepers. And with no one paying attention to Halvor? They finally have the chance to just sit there in silence, staring through the clouds and into the stars.

Halvor finally for the first time in months allows tears to fall, pushing his face into his knees and sobbing, keeping the pain to himself for this long, it wasn’t pretty, and yet, outside of Lucas, didn’t feel worth showing at the other dragons, at all--not even those in professions to help him. Halvor just.. there were worse situations at hand, his depression didn’t need to be fixed, this is what happens every couple of years and no one could stop it. Not a soul could stop it, this was his hell. And he just wants it to stop, forever. even....no--don’t even think about it.

Don’t.

[nihoneshi]

^

Physically isn’t even allowed more than a glass of alcohol after his alcohol induced breakdowns, or at least that’s how it is right now for Halvor. Of course, he still enjoys a glass ever so often, but the talk of alcohol is giving him that light craving. He’ll enjoy this tea instead, though.

[nihoneshi]

Happy birthday Halvor!

“Ah--not even I remembered my birthday--thank you for reminding me--and thanks for wishing me happy birthday.”

[nihoneshi]

How does your muse carry emotions?

Rules: Repost, don’t reblog & bold/italicize

ANGER: jaw clenching, hands balling into fists, teeth grinding, yelling, going nonverbal, stuttering speech, rushed speech, slow concise speech, rambling, quiet, arms crossing, shaking the head, tearing up, animated, expressionless, projects, internalizes, vents, withdraws, passive-aggressive, direct, physical outbursts, verbal outbursts.

JOY: easy smiles, fighting back, grins, suppressed laughter, loud laughter, giggles, chuckling, smirks, whole body laughs, covers mouth when laughing/giggling, throws head back when laughing, slaps leg, touches people around them when laughing, look down when laughing, looks for eye contact when laughing, sparkling eyes, bubbly happiness, quiet subtle happiness, obnoxious happiness, wants to spread joy, quietly savors joy.

SADNESS: crying, bottling it up, seeks distractions, wallows, meditates and processes, avoidance, seeks out comfort, withdraws, talks it out, internalizes it, sad smiles, depression naps, uses alcohol, uses drugs, seeks out sources of joy, fidgets with sentimental item, sits in silence, broods, gets moody, want someone to share the misery, tries to hide negative emotions, nurtures others to make themselves feel better.

EMBARRASSMENT/SHAME: blushing, looking away, rubbing at back of head, covering face, laughing nervously, laughs it off, overthinks, lets it go, self deprecating humor, deflects, gets irritated, smiles, withdraws, crossing arms over stomach, crossing arms over chest, hands in pockets, shoulders sinking, shrugs, falling into silence until comfortable again, talking a lot to compensate.

GUILT: avoiding eye contact, shoulders sinking low, head hanging down, crying, chest aches, lashes out, internalizes, apologizes, deflects, communicates, withdraws, grand gestures for forgiveness, accepts fault easily, punishes themselves, martyrdom, victim complex, over-active guilt complex, healthy conscience, internalizes even after forgiveness, seeking redemption, moves on easily, denial, lack of guilt/conscience, sorry they got caught more than caused harm, can’t handle knowing they hurt others.

FEAR/ANXIETY: trembling, crying, sarcasm/sass to cope, rambles, goes silent, gets angry, fidgeting, clenching jaw, picking at nails, chewing at lip, pulling at clothes, adjusting jewelry/clothing, swallowing thickly, eyes widening, over-reacts, under-reacts, calm, logical, panic, irrational, overthinks, carefully analyzes, talks to themselves, breathing exercises, flight, fight, withdraw, fawn.

tagged by @hxuse-of-muses​

tagging: steal it

[nihoneshi]

“We brought that upon ourselves? Bullshit. Peace in the Dragon Realms and that ass caused mass trauma on those who never deserved it.”

[nihoneshi]

Halvor flew through the skies, his weapon not on him at the moment--not that that mattered, nothing mattered, upon seeing Lucas not present at his home, it further sent the Peace-Keeper into a frenzy, tears and blood dripping from the sky from the pain of digging his claws into himself. They were hurt---traumatized, why did Tomas even do such a thing to him?! 

Halvor trusted them and---they paid him back with spiking his drink and attempting to hypnotize and manipulate the Peace Keeper.  He cried out in pain, grasping his arm, unconscious plunging his claws right back in, lightheaded, the only thing surging through his mind was pain---panic---where was Lucas? Was he alright? Before Tomas' cruel experiment, his partner wasn't doing too well mentally---what was worse was the fact Tomas kept him for who knows how long, he lost track of time entirely. 

They didn't quite care anymore as he allowed himself to outright crash into the grass, albeit landing safely, as in not breaking anything--but Halvor's entire body ached, not that it mattered, as the poor Peace-Keeper was bleeding, outright letting himself bleed without a single care in the world, laying on his side, internally panicking over the well-being of Lucas, he had to keep looking but not like this, he wasn’t in the right mind anymore---he’d truly stopped operating, his mind wandering to the thoughts of just...ending it all. 

Halvor couldn’t explain it but, with the blood rushing from his arms onto the grass, he felt...at peace. Halvor didn’t realize that these feelings were bad---his brain only focused on stopping the constant stream of pain once and for all, scrambling for ANY sort of solace, the Peace Keeper wasn’t at peace, and...was willing to do anything to achieve that, even if he had to end his own life. Surely, this was the panic fully set in, and not his normal mindset, as it was thrown out the window for the insanity that wrought upon them. 

[nihoneshi]

Halvor - a sheep plush

“What is this? A…plush? This is of one of the sheep that roam around the artisan world. It’s an odd gift during my recovery..is this Spyro?” 

[nihoneshi]

Widespread Panic Bad End Drabble (Bad End Starter coming up after this, too.)

It’s been weeks isolated in his home. Halvor cried constantly—while showing the other dragons he was completely fine in-between. It was getting harder to handle the trauma that came with the fact that he’d been drugged this badly, the fact that he had intention to kill himself revealed to all the other dragons was enough to force him into this state of mind. Halvor stared at the sword he’d hidden from all dragons under the floorboards, It was late at night, not a single dragon was awake, except Halvor. This had to end, no, this NEEDED to end. Halvor couldn’t take this pain anymore, he couldn’t take the buildup of suffering anymore…and now he had the reason to do it.

An argument between him and a few dragons had triggered this reason—even if Halvor thought it was the point that no one would’ve cared if he died, in the end, it wasn’t the way to go..and yet..the Blacksmith took that reason as enough to finally be at peace. Finally to get rid of the suffering that been a thing for years ever since he began fighting. Injury after injury—broken bones, scarring, both mental and physical. He’d simply had enough of it all..and now since this argument had pushed him over the edge..it was going to happen.

Flooded by the thoughts of death..Halvor no longer thought of what the other dragons would think, no longer thought of what would happen after this all ended..but he didn’t care anymore. The blacksmith was at wits end as he finally exits his home for the first time in weeks, carrying the sword as he flies out the cliffside. He wanted this death to be as slow and painful as possible. It takes awhile due to his body not fully adjusting yet, but he finally arrives at the cliffside. The original spot where he first tried to kill himself by jumping..but was saved by Titan—who still to this day thinks it was a drunken freak accident while training.

Halvor sighs, tears dripping down his face as the dragon lays down against the wall on the opposite end, staring at the sword as he finally turns it on himself. Closing his eyes—he braces for impact, thrusting his arm so that the sword cleanly goes through his chest, missing his heart, covering his mouth as his eyes widen up as the blacksmith yanks out the weapon, dropping it immediately as he sobs quietly, blood gushing from the main wound. The Peace Keeper lays there what seems like an eternity… Tears well up in the dragons eyes as the surrounding area becomes a massive puddle of blood.

He watches and feels as his body begins to slow down, starting to feel like jet lag from his first days of actual flight, lightheadedness, his fingers tingling…feeling his body slowly and surely fall limp—and yet..Halvor had not a single regret, these tears were of pain—but of pure joy, joy that he no longer had to suffer this horrid life of trauma..regret was a construct, it no longer existed. The blacksmith stared at his body slowly going completely limp, his eyes heavy, his breathing shaky as he looks up into the night sky…and closes his eyes finally, his head laying back and cocking to its side. This was the best moment of his entire life—d e a t h.

[nihoneshi]

Lucas once again had been spending another day or two in the Peace Keepers world, not only to spend time with his lover, Halvor but, also because it was unbearably frigid in the Magic Crafters area, no one could even blame him for the reason that he told the others he went for, no one would know he was actually going to stay with Halvor. 

~

Halvor was evenly happy to have Lucas over for the first time in months, they’d talked in between meetings of the leaders, and when they went to the shores for any sort of vacation. It was the evening when his significant other showed up, a warm embrace as their wings wrapped around each other, a little sign of affection only the two of them did. 

~

It wasn’t even the second night when they cuddled, right on the large bed under a window with the moonlight shining down on them, Lucas usually on the side closest to the foot of the bed, he didn’t care if they were being watched, it was with Halvor, he felt safe, he felt at ease from any nightmares. 

~ Pulling each other in a passionate kiss, not even listening to the door open that late in the night, and then a door close as if they’d been found out but, neither of them heard or saw such a thing, as Lucas had hidden the majority of them using his large wings. 

~

In the morning, They woke up, still kissing each other for a couple of moments, Lucas going off back to sleep while Halvor went out to do his own thing, a blushing mess he was, knowing what all they did that night, but there wasn’t any say in what else was going to happen, he was oblivious to what happened while they were kissing that night. 

[nihoneshi]

“Lindar, It’s not safe for work, please don’t look this up, for your sanity.” 

---”No one else wants to see the shock on your face more than I do, though”---

--- Halvor snickered, almost dying of laughter, as he’d been the one who learned it from Bubba just under a year ago, purely by accident, but he did know exactly what Lindar was getting himself into, and was trying to stifle a laugh.

[nihoneshi]

“Before we decide to plant anything, I believe it would be best to rid our domain of all this tar, the problem is, we have no efficient way of getting rid of it all, so I’m calling help of all Magic Crafters willing to find a way of getting all of this toxic tar out of our basins, of course some places will be tough but, if there’s a way to safely make all of this...disappear, that would be great, it would already give us a head-start on everything else.”