#keep pranking you glorious agents of chaos!

[lycorogue]

[Image ID:

Picture of an article headline and sub-headline. Origin of the article is not pictured.

Article shows an image of a female school teacher sitting in an orange classroom chair and her arm resting on the corner of the desk beside her. She is giving the camera a subtle smirk.

The headline reads: I know of a child who identifies as a hologram, says Britain’s strictest head 

Sub-headline reads: Katharine Birbalsingh says children allowed to self-identify as animals and moons should be moved to a different school by their parents

/end ID]

So obviously furries exist but the Tories and the British media trying to whip up a culture war frenzy about “Kids in schools identifying as cats” runs into one major problem…

Kids fucking love to wind adults up, especially those in positions of perceived authority.

Imagine sitting in class, knowing if you say something funny that it could end up on national news because your head teacher is a frothing culture war bigot.

Imagine all the other kids going along with it and backing them up.

[musesofolive]

Ahh I have been posting a lot today, I’m sure you’re all waiting for me to shut up lol. But not right now! Now that I think of the multi-muse house in my head and how my beloved oc’s are just like living in the place like they’re all roommates, I wanna explore that a lil bit.

Isla:

She is pretty much the closest thing to the mom of the house. She may not be the oldest, but she is the most emotionally and mentally mature for sure. Which, she constantly finds amusing considering Rowan is there and is her older sibling, but I digress! She’s the one who’s got the house set up on a system that works, who’s cleaning what room, who’s getting the dishes, who’s washing the laundry. She settles any disputes that come up in the house that may lead to violence, and she’s always the best shoulder to lean on when you’re not feeling the greatest.

She’s the natural leader of the house and everyone tends to trust her, there’s no one she really dislikes or doesn’t get along with. She gets along well with everyone, but mostly with Ciri and Rowan since she’s known them the longest. She tends to treat Nova like she’s her daughter, is always glad to have Sahar’s level headedness, and does appreciate Riley’s laidback ways.

Ciri:

She definitely keeps things the most lively in the house. She’s an agent of chaos, what can she say? Once she flies into the room, any hope of the atmosphere staying quiet is completely ruined. But she does have a habit for putting people in a good mood...most of the time, when she’s not pranking them or they’re not next to her room where they can constantly hear her singing. She can be more serious and stick to rules if she sees Isla getting overwhelmed though, but that’s really the only scenario where she loses her goofiness.

Isla and Nova are the ones she sticks by the most, with Rowan falling closely behind those two. She knows that they’ll enable her chaos whenever she decides to cause it. Riley is next after that because he’s just so easy to get with pranks, and it’s super funny teasing him, especially when he thinks his flirting is getting him literally anywhere. Sahar she doesn’t stick around too much, she gets the sense that the soldier can’t tolerate too much of her shenanigans and so for Isla’s sake, she leaves her be for the most part. But Sahar does tend to stop by to listen to Ciri’s songs when they’re not too bombastic.

Nova:

I love my girl, and it’s because I love her that I tend to deem her the emotionally wounded teen of the house. She’s not an actual teenager and she doesn’t act like one really, but Nova has been the most emotionally and physically scarred out of all them and has not had the time to heal any of it over yet, like the other roommates. So, she sticks to herself a lot. She used to only come down for meals and stay holed up in her room, but Ciri eventually wouldn’t have any of that and dragged her out from time to time. That came to the agreement that Nova will spend time with some of them outside of meals so long as Ciri stops busting her door down and dragging her by the arm. But for the most part she just follows the rules set and keeps her head down.

Ciri is the one she hangs around most, not entirely by choice, but she is the one she’s most familiar with so it’s better than a stranger in her opinion. After that is the Comerde siblings. Isla is very comforting, warm and treats her nicely. And she helps in such subtle ways so that Nova doesn’t have to feel embarrassed for asking for help. So when it comes to who she likes Isla actually sorta takes the cake. As for Rowan, they’re quiet and don’t usually ask too many questions. So, when Ciri and the others get way too overbearing, she rolls up to their room and just vibes with them while they read or do work, it’s a very mutually beneficial thing. Sahar’s not too far behind, she’s a bit too intense sometimes for Nova to vibe with her properly like she does with Rowan, but she’s helpful in getting her anger out, and helps her get better at self defense which makes her feel safer and less like she needs to lash out constantly. And then there’s...Riley. She does not like Riley. A. He’s a human man. B. She knows all the charm and flirting is just a facade, and she hates it. She doesn’t like people being fake with her, because then it reminds her of Dorian and makes her wonder what they’re really hiding. Also he’s way too touchy for her liking. Everything about him just rubs her the wrong way so she tends to stay away from him, and if she can’t, then those two are going to get into a fight.

Rowan:

They are simultaneously one of the chillest and one of the strictest in the house. Which makes no sense, but it’s true. Like, no, go ahead, do whatever you want, as long as you’re not bothering them, they really don’t care. But also, if they catch you not doing your chores or not following the rules, they will harp on you subtley like no tomorrow. They helped design the system set up actually, and they tend to supervise how it goes, suggesting different things to try to Isla when they notice something that can be improved. They sorta tried to take over as leader of the house since they believed they could run it better...yeah that lasted about a week before they handed that title back to Isla with a shake of their head. This group is nothing like their tribe, they just can’t. So, instead they’re like Isla’s left hand, enforcing the rules and keeping the peace from the shadows...but also not, because they are an enabler of chaos at their core. Not an agent, but if someone is looking to fix up some good natured mischief, they will gladly help and sit back and watch it all unfold. But usually they’re either in their room or in the library, working on papers for the trading business to send back to their father.

The Skywings are the two they get along with best, but for different reasons. Ciri creates glorious chaos while still following the rules, and they find that absolutely immaculate as they do whatever they feel like to help her. Nova is quiet and precisely what they need when they get into one of their “I’m surrounded by idiots” moods. Isla comes next, there are worse people, and she is still family. When they’re homesick they spend more time than usual with her, just to be reminded that there is still a piece of home with them. Sahar and Riley come afterwards. Not that they really dislike anyone here, if they don’t like them, then they have a neutral disposition at most. Sahar is just neutral territory because they’re very alike in some aspects, but she also shares some of Torin’s traits. It’s like an amalgamation of them and they find it interesting. And Riley is also someone who causes mischief, which they like, but also, they just...cannot deal with the flirtiness. Like at all, it flusters them way too much. If they are with Riley, it has to be in a group setting because otherwise they’ll just be blushing like no tomorrow at Riley’s endless flirting and charm.

Sahar:

If Isla’s the designated mom, Sahar is oddly enough sort of like the dad. She respects Isla and her desicions greatly, and enforces them more directly than Rowan does. She is Isla’s right hand woman for sure. She makes sure everyone is safe physically since that’s her better strong suit as a guard/soldier, she lets Isla handle the emotional aspects. She’s also the one to break up any fights physically, she’s tall and strong, it’s what she’s good at. She usually spends time in the training room, especially when she’s worked up, but honestly she makes her rounds to just about every room in that house that isn’t someone’s bedroom. She likes knowing the layout.

She prefers Isla’s company more than anyone else’s. The elf is just one of the few she doesn’t have to be all soldier-face with (and Isla is 100% teaching her how to dance. Sahar wasn’t convinced she’d be any good at it, but Isla’s proving her wrong.) and genuinely feels like she can be relaxed around. They respect Rowan’s professionalism and regards for the rules, even if they do let mischief happen. She feels both pity and admiration for Nova, she has clearly gone through things that would probably kill weaker people. And she wants to let her know that her battle is over, there’s no more need to keep fighting and it’s time to heal. But, words aren’t always her strong suit, so she tries to express that with how she spends her time with the young elf. She finds Ciri annoying and troublesome, but in a good way, if that makes sense. She’s like both a pesky hummingbird that keeps flitting around her face, but also reminds her of her brothers so she doesn’t mind it. So, she tolerates the Skywing so long as she doesn’t get herself into too much trouble. She tolerates Riley the least. They’re just two very different people. Sahar is about upholding the law and protecting others and being selfless, Riley is a con man who is selfish and literally only thinks about himself. Plus he’s committed crimes in her very country. Safe to say, opposites do not attract this time around. She’s much more no-nonsense with him than anyone else.

Riley:

I feel so bad but this one just like...gets picked on mercilessly. He is constantly bullied in this household, but not in a way that’s genuinely like upsetting just, teased a lot so that he can learn and get character development. And I promise the others aren’t treating him too badly and Isla always steps in if she feels everyone needs to lay off. That woman is basically Riley’s saving grace because she’s the only one who doesn’t pick on him. Not to say others don’t enjoy his presence on occasion, he didn’t learn his people skills for nothing after all, he’s usually one of the bigger talkers at the table and keeps the atmosphere nice and light. Either with his skills, or by being the comic relief. He’s starting to get fond of libraries all things considered, so he does find himself there often. And if he’s not there, he’s usually in the game room fiddling with some pool or playing cards. If he can rope the others into joining him, he’ll play some poker or just generally a game or two. And the bar, that man loves his alcohol.

Isla and Rowan are at the top of his list. Isla, for being the motherly saint she is and constantly getting the others to stop bullying him, plus she’s the only one who can in all actuality, handle him. She plays along with his games without ever actually losing, and she never gets boring to talk to. Which surprised him, because she’s one of the most sentimental, family-oriented people he knows. He didn’t think he’d ever get along with someone like her, but she’s just that inviting. And then there’s Rowan, again another family-oriented type. But he knows he started liking them because they fluster so easily at his flirting. He does love to get under people’s skin and tease them. Plus, for as family-oriented as they seem to be, they care in a very sensible way. And when he’s at the bar, usually drunk, he wonders if he could have ever been like them had he been with a proper family. He doesn’t really dislike Sahar, so much as he is just...frightened of her. Like, every time she looks at him, he can just tell she’s imagining putting his head on a pike or something. He’s very happy there’s a no fighting truce in that house, otherwise he’d have fled that house so fast to avoid getting either murdered or brought to jail for so many years by her. And Ciri and Nova are tied for the ones he dislikes the most. Ciri’s got an annoying habit of pranking him, and it sucks because nothing he ever does seem to get under her skin, he’s tried everything. But there’s nothing that does the trick, but she gets under his skin so easily and it drives him crazy. He only approves of her mischief from afar, and he hates that she constantly makes up little tunes that mock him. And then there’s Nova, and he was a little surprised. He didn’t think he’d ever end up liking her, sure, but like the animosity she shows him for literally no reason just astounds him. There’s nothing he can do to rectify it either. Everytime he tries it just gets worse, and he hates working with people he can’t control at least a little. That, and I mean, the guy is 40, she’s 25, the difference in mentality just makes them even less likely to enjoy the other’s presence. He’s constantly saying “who do you think you’re talking to, little girl? Hasn’t anyone told you to respect your elders?” To which she always snaps back “I’m an elf, you crusty bag of bones! Just because I look younger than you, doesn’t mean I am! And there’s hardly anything to respect from someone who’s an outlaw in every nation they can hide in!” Like just...keep them away from each other. The insults are funny at first, but it’s not long before someone makes a move to attack or say words that are going to cut too deep.

[spell-cleaver]

#19 Summer Camp au with Luke and Leia or Luke and Anakin? Please and thanks!

I chose Luke and Leia for this one. And because my brain is apparently opposed to coming up with fluff in all its forms, I wrote it out as an in-universe AU where Vader raised the twins and sent them to summer camp within the Empire, from the POV of an Imperial agent Palpatine assigned to keep an eye on them. It was heavily inspired by Skywalker Family Values by Ariel_Sojourner on AO3, which by now is honestly the first thing I think of when someone says “Star Wars Summer Camp AU” :D

Prompts from this post.

.

Formalreport on subject: FUTURE ASSETS, also referred to as ASSET 1 (human male,juvenile) and ASSET 2 (human female, juvenile; ASSET 1’s twin sibling).Submitted to HIS MAJESTY THE EMPEROR on this day, 17.2.12, twelve years afterthe foundation of the great Galactic Empire, long may it reign, at 2312 hours.

I am well aware I have been charged to watchFUTURE ASSETS closely for any sign of burgeoning rebellion in collusion withCURRENT ASSET/FUTURE RISK, and to only report events or concerns concurrentwith these aims; this is, in my professional opinion, undeniably one such event. If you do not share my view, Your Majesty,I will of course submit myself to whatever punishment you see fit and only hopeyou graciously allow me the chance to make it up to you. However, on this day,FUTURE ASSETS showed behaviour which I consider may be dangerous for the Empireat large, and yourself in particular. 

As you know, FUTURE ASSETS were sent to theBEACHSIDE SUMMER CAMP AND RESORT on Scarif by CURRENT ASSET/FUTURE RISK, as apart of their training to become functioning and fully integrated members ofthe Imperial Court. In this, neither has had any notable success. ASSET 1spends too much time talking to ASSET 2, the various unpaid, alien servants whoclean and cook, and himself; ASSET 2, meanwhile, only speaks kindly to herbrother and has indeed caused grave insult to many Moffs’ sons and daughters. Iam certain of the opinion that therewill be no potential political alliances forthcoming, especially after theevents of today—or rather, as I write this, three days ago. This isolation is aminor note, one I know I have been assured to expect, but it felt prudent tohighlight that what happened was their doing and theirs alone.

Twelve days into this “vacation”FUTURE ASSETS were supposedly taking, they appeared for lunch at 1300 hours andinvoked the by-now customary chaos (here, taken in the form of sausages andmashed potatoes being used as impromptu missiles) which led to them beingbanished to their respective cabins to, as the warden responsible for the campput it, “think about what they had done.” After this, neither of themwere sighted until dinner at 1800 hours. This was not considered unusual—theyhad no compulsory team activities to attend, and had been banned from“golden time” after their food fiasco—but perhaps in hindsight thesight of smoke emerging from ASSET 1’s cabin should have appeared somewhatsuspicious.

When they did appear again, they seemedpacified. ASSET 2 even smiled at the great-niece of the honourable Grand MoffTarkin, which caused veritable waves of confusion throughout the mess hall.Warden Kallea even looked excited, if only for a moment. It was directly after that moment, in the midst of theconfusion cunningly perpetrated by ASSET 2, that ASSET 1’s“tinkering” came to fruition.

The precise sequence of events is as follows:While Warden Kallea was caught off guard, and made to usher her into a seatnear to the girl she’d smiled at—no doubt in an ill-advised attempt to actuallyhave one of the FUTURE ASSETS make friends—ASSET 1 found himself under littleenough surveillance (save by myself) that he managed to pull what appeared tobe a makeshift detonator out of his pocket. When he pressed it, the lights wentout. As a repurposed military bunker for the nearby Imperial facility, the messhall is the only building situated entirely underground (or rather, was: it isnow the only building in the camp); therefore, it became pitch black. I confessto having lost track of events myself from then on amid the darkness, but Iproceeded to locate and detain FUTURE ASSETS under my guise as one of thewardens, and did my best to keep an eye on them. I make sure to report mymomentary lapse of competency in anticipation of the fact that, seeing asFUTURE ASSETS had perhaps five minutes of chaos when they were not beingwatched, they will have used that to inflict more chaos in the coming days, despite being under constant,careful, current surveillance byCURRENT ASSET/FUTURE RISK. I remain vigilant about it.

As it turned out, ASSET 1 and his tinkeringhad not simply switched the lights off; it had cut the power entirely. Theautomatic doors would not open. Nor did the warden, as essentially a glorified babysitter,have the body strength to open them by hand; I, of course, attempted it, butafter an initial failure and the realisation that it was distracting me frommonitoring the situation with FUTURE ASSETS, I desisted.

Perhaps two children had glowrods. They wereable to cast some light on the situation, but it remained negligible, andFUTURE ASSETS had vanished. It is my firm belief that they remained somewherein the darkness and anonymity of the crowd of shorter-than-average children, aslater reconnaissance revealed that there was simply no way for them to havepossible left the room, but it was approximately two hours before either myselfor Warden Kallea (who remained distracted by the sealed-off doors and thescores of wailing children afraid of the dark) managed to locate and questionthem fully on what they had done.

During those two hours, however, occurred anevent I am sure you have heard of, if only because it was so cataclysmic in theentire history of (y)our glorious Empire. The Rebels bombed Scarif.

The information and communications tower wasnaturally their primary target, but (as I am sure you have already read reportson) the damage to the surrounding hundred kilometres or so was catastrophic.The buildings of BEACHSIDE SUMMER CAMP AND RESORT were entirely destroyed, andit is a miracle that because of FUTURE ASSETS’ actions in trapping us all belowground in a repurposed bunker, none of the children, myself or Warden Kallea, were harmed.

The bombing run of the Rebels—rumour has itthat it was Saw Gerrera’s Partisans who carried out this senseless attack onthe Empire’s primary information base, but I will of course leave suchinvestigations to the capable hands of my betters—occurred at approximately1912 hours. At 2000 hours, the lights in the bunker came back on. Upon intensequestioning and scolding by Warden Kallea, ASSET 1 admitted that the power cut he’dorchestrated had been on a timer for just under two hours. Upon further intensequestioning and scolding, it appeared that neither ASSET 1 nor ASSET 2 had anyidea of the Rebel attack in advance, citing instead that they had decided tostage their “harmless prank” (their words, not mine) this evening, atthis time, because “it felt right.” They also cited some mysterious“Force” as a possible source of these feelings; I will, of course,leave this to the judgement of greater man than myself, also.

Once the power returned, things ran more orless smoothly. Warden Kallea, though clearly in a barely-coherent state ofpanic, resolved not to allow the children outside of the bunker until helpcame, and a signal was sent out to the Imperial Starfleet, addressing CURRENTASSET/FUTURE RISK in particular. He came forthwith, but we remained in thatbunker for eighteen hours total before he arrived, and when he did he onlystayed longer enough to escort FUTURE ASSETS out of there, leaving the childrenof all other prominent politicians, officers and noblemen to be escorted bystormtroopers. I write this report while we are en route to Coruscant; I havealready fielded dozens of angry, threatening message from these prominentpoliticians, officers and noblemen, and it is my belief that Warden Kallea hasreceived a great any more. Needless to say, BEACHSIDE SUMMER CAMP AND RESORTwill not be open for business next year.

And it is needless to say as well that FUTUREASSETS are not currently in favour with their peers, the future denizens of theImperial Court. I can assure you that no alliances have been made here, YourHighness; I have succeeded in that task, though I have clearly failed in agreat many others, and I (of course) submit myself to your mercy and duepunishment.

To conclude, FUTURE ASSETS have been returnedto CURRENT ASSET/FUTURE RISK’s care, and it is my firm belief that he will notbe allowing them to leave it for a long, long time.

Long live the almighty Emperor.

Agent Marnel.

ADDITIONALNOTES FROM AN EXTERNAL SOURCE: Agent Marnel vanished en route to Coruscant, oneday before arrival. It is the belief of Lord Vader and his staff that the manunexpectedly took a shuttle to try and escape the imminent punishment, however,nothing can be confirmed. Long live the Empire.