#keep having nightmares and being uhm

[shrublee]

erm uhm I forgot to exist whoopsies! I might start existing again idk, depends if I feel like it

[netaro--yowa]

YAYYY MISHA THEME!!!

MISHA 💖💓🩷❤️💕💖💓🩷💖❤️💖💓💓💖🩷💓

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about Wade's life and his mental health issues a lot, and I just thought about this. Not only being abused, but his entire brain being made out of cancer, and the fact that oxygen was physically taken from his brain over the course of 2+ days multiple times?

We see him coloring a lot and claim multiple times that he doesn't/ can't read (this is probably a bit, I guarantee he can read), but it had me thinking what if some days were more childish then others as part of his coping mechanisms?

At first, Logans was really confused about why Althea puts up with it until he realizes that it's extremely good for him to just... be taken care of? Praised and given affection for the bare minimum? He thinks it's weird. This wasn't the same man he was fighting with yesterday.

Coming into the living room, he sees Wade sprawled out with crayons and markers all around him with multiple pictures already coloured, his notebook having pages ripped out of it as he kicks his feet and hums.

On the tv, there are cartoons playing. Once in a while, he'll look up at the tv and then go back to coloring. "What are you doing??"

"Hi wolvie. 'm colouring."

"He's behaving, so don't ruin it." Al says. There's pictures by her, and she is holding a box of cereal.

"O..kay??" Sitting down, he's almost too curious to just walk away, picking up puppins so she doesn't ruin his drawings, petting her confusedly.

Sometimes, Al will hold out some cereal in her hand. "Wade." And he will see him shimmy over and take the cereal. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, baby."

As hes scooting back to his color spot he stops and watches the tv for a bit longer then usual.

"...What.. the fuck." Logan says to her and she gives him a brow raise. "What?"

"What is he doing?"

"He's coloring. And I thought I was the blind one."

"No no I mean.. those aren't murder plans. That's puppins."

"Yes? And?"

"And.. what did you do to him?"

"Treated him like a human being. Give it a try once inawhile." She says, and he comes back with more pictures, climbing in between them with no regard for space as he leans into her.

"Oh thank you. What is it?"

"It's you."

"Oh? How sweet. Do I look good?"

"Mhm!"

"Im glad. How about you show our friend here your amazing pictures. And he better be nice!"

So wade turns and now is leaning on logan as he points to a different picture. One of Logan with Puppins on a leash with a sun in the corner and crappy grass, a hearts all over the place.

At first he wants to tell him to get off of him, but seeing the pictures and how excited his eyes were to show him, it hits him and he understands.

".. uhm.. thank you?" But he puts it back in his hand. "Oh- you want me to keep it?"

Wade nods and starts cleaning up his crayons.

Logan turns to whisper to Al "How long does this go on?"

"About 2 hours or so."

"Why?"

"God only knows, but it helps with his nightmares."

"Colouring helps with his nightmares??"

"Its more then that. Hey sweetheart? Why don't you bring your ponys out."

"Theyre horses."

"Oh im sorry, my mistake. I think logan here wants to play horses."

Logan gives her a look like excuse me? When did I sign up for that? "No.. uhm.. I think im good."

Wade gets this look of sad innocence but goes to get them anyway, beginning to play by himself, brushing them and making them talk to each other quietly. As if he speaks any louder, he would get hit.

Logan groans and is like "Gimme a fucking horse.."

From then on, Logan is quick to understand what's happening and is much nicer to him, starts giving him snacks, buying him actual coloring books, and has pinned his drawings to the fridge each time he's gifted one. His horses name is Buttercup, by the way.

[larluce]

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU (SERIES 2)

FIRST PART (SERIES 1) >> PREVIOUS PART >> NEXT PART

In "The Nightmare Begins"

In Arthur's chambers.

Merlin: (enters, shyly) Uhm, hi.

Arthur: (stands up from his bed quickly) Hi! you... finished Gaius chores.

Merlin: Yeah.

Silence.

Arthur: (nervous) Uhm... Are you... going to undress me or-

Merlin: Right! Sure, because that's my job. Obviously. That's why I'm here. (stands infront of Arthur, blushing, but doesn't make any other movement)

Arthur: (looks at him, tenderly) Merlin you have done this thousands of times, you don't have to act all shy.

Merlin: (blushes more furiously) I'm not acting shy I'm waiting for you to lift your arms, you idiot!

Arthur: (blushes) Oh... of course (lifts his arms)

Merlin: (starts putting Arthur's shirt off with trembling hands)

Arthur: (feels Merlin's fingers brushing his skin having no so good thoughts)

Merlin: (finishes to put Arthur's shirt off) Th-there. (avoids Arthur's gaze)

Arthur: (keeps looking at him still having no so good thoughts)

Merlin: (dares to look up)

Arthur and Merlin: (get loss in each other's eyes and then look at each other's lips)

Merlin: (snaps out of it, thinking) My magic! I can't lose control of my magic!

Arthur: (snaps out of it, thinking) He said he wanted to go slow. SLOW, Arthur!

Merlin: You-your trousers.

Arthur: (fearing he'll have a boner if Merlin changes his trousers) Uh...I rather put those on myself.

Merlin: (in relief) Oh, thank the gods! (realises his slip up) I mean, less work for me, yay! (goes to the door that conects to his chambers quickly)

Arthur: Merlin.

Merlin: (stops and turns around)

Arthur: (goes to him, holds his hand tenderly, smiling like a fool) Good night.

Merlin: (smiling like a fool too) Good night.

Another silence. Merlin start swinging their hands.

Arthur: Merlin?

Merlin: Yeah?

Arthur: We have to... let go.

Merlin: Yeah, we should do that.

Another silence.

Arthur: (chuckles) You are still not letting go.

Merlin: (chukles too) You neither!

Arthur: (brings Merlin's hand to his lips and kisses it) Good night. (finally lets go of his hand)

Merlin: (off guard, with a very high pitched voice) Good...Good night! (enters his chambers and closes the door quickly)

That is just the first night after confessing their feelings to one another. Merlin screams in a pillow after that and Arthur sleeps hugging a pillow with a smile plastered on his face.

The next day, is pretty much the same, with Merlin and Arthur acting all ackward around the other, but constantly smiling for no reason, together or not. It reaches the point Merlin puts Arthur's clothes on wrong twice and Uther scolds Arthur in a meeting for being too distracted staring at his manservant. Of course, everyone notice this change and new rumors spread, saying that the Prince sudden change of humor was due to Merlin finally accepting to bed him. But for once Merlin can care less about what they say. His so long believed impossible love, loves him back! He is living his dream! There is nothing that could ruin that!

Then the second night comes and Merlin's little bubble of happiness beggins to shatter.

That night, Merlin has one of those strange dreams he's been having since he travel back in time. He can't move and can't see a thing in those, there are no images, but rather sounds and feelings. Sometimes he's warm, sometimes he's cold, sometimes he feels the breeze or water showering him, like rain. There are sounds of animals. Normally birds singing. But mostly there is always a voice talking to him.

"I'm not the best at prune. You'll have to settle. Not that you can complain anyway" Sometimes the voice is happy.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" sometimes the voice is sad.

But lately, for some reason, the strange voice has been sounding more like one he knows very well.

The voice sounds like Arthur's.

An the dream Merlin has this night is not the exception.

"I love you" the voice says this time, but instead of sounding joyful and tender like when Arthur actually confessed his love to him, it sounds broken, as if the true of those words were killing him. "I love you and I hate you, so, so much. All the secrets you kept from me, Merlin. I've forgiven them all but one. Of all the moments you could have... Why didn't you say it before? Why didn't you keep it to yourself? Why..."

Merlin wakes up in the middle of the night, with tears rolling down his eyes. That was a cruel blow of reality. A premonition even. The secrets, the fucking secrets! He has been so happy since he and Arthur confessed their love to one another that he forgot Arthur not knowing about his magic means that Arthur still doesn't know all of him. Will Arthur still love him once he knows? Merlin still remembers how Arthur reacted in his other life. Though Arthur eventually came around, the memory of the initial rejection still hurts him in his very core. He doesn't want to experiment it again, not so soon when he's beginning to be happy. He doesn't know what he did or what changed for this Arthur to fall in love with him. And for the same reason, he doesn't want to risk it, he doesn't want to lose him! He knows he must tell Arthur, but... Is it bad that he wants to be a bit selfish?

Suddenly a scream gets him out of his thoughts.

Merlin: (alarmed) Arthur! (runs to Arthur's chambers)

In Arthur's chambers.

Arthur: (looking around, frantic and shouting) Merlin! Merlin! MERLIN!

Merlin: (enters running) I'm here! I'm here! What happened?

Arthur: (pulls Merlin till he's sit on the bed and starts checking him, touching him everywhere, even more frantic)

Merlin: (very worried, though he still blushes) Arthur,wait-What are you-Stop it- ARTHUR!

Arthur: (Stops, his hands holding Merlin's face, still with fear in his eyes)

Merlin: (comforts) It was a nightmare (puts a hand on Arthur's) Just a nightmare.

Arthur: (suddenly breaks down and cries)

Merlin: (holds him, wanting to protect Arthur from whatever was tormenting him. His heart aching with each sob, while he comforts him) It's alright. It wasn't real. It's alright.

Arthur: (pulls Merlin away just enough to see his face) Merlin.

Merlin: Yes?

Arthur: (begs) Don't leave me, please.

Merlin: I won't. Never.

Arthur: (kisses Merlin abruptly)

Merlin: (startles but soon kisses back)

The way Arthur kisses Merlin is not tender this time, not even passionate, but rather driven by full need. Need to feel Merlin, need to make sure Merlin is there and still with him. Soon Merlin is also lying on the bed and Arthur is on top of him kissing him more deeply. Merlin moans against Arthur's lips, his hands on Arthur's naked back and Merlin thinks he'll go isane. Why did he even deny himself this?

Then he hears movement, opens his eyes and notices some things floating around the room and he remembers why.

Merlin: (puts a hand between their chests and pushes to separate their kiss and says, breathless) Arthur.

The things fall and the sound makes Arthur get out of whatever trance he was.

Merlin: (thinking some explanation for the things falling) Uh-

Arthur: (Doesn't even acknowledge the things falling and gets off Merlin quickly, very ashamed of himself) Oh, Gods! I'm so sorry. I wasn't-I just-

Merlin doesn't have the chance to say anything cause a guard suddenly opens the door.

Guard: Sire, the- (notices Merlin is on the bed) Uh, forgive me, I didn't mean to interrupt-

Merlin: (too quickly) No! It's perfectly fine.

Arthur: (too quickly) Yeah, we just finished.

Guard: (thinking) I didn't need to know that...

Arthur: What is it that you came?

Guard: Is the lady Morgana. There was a fire in her chambers.

Arthur and Merlin: WHAT?! (Stand up quickly and run outside)

Time skip. In the morning, after they finished investigating Morgana's chambers. Arthur and Uther walking through the corridor.

Arthur: It's not possible. There are too many guards. I'm telling you, it was a thunder.

Uther: No. Someone started the fire with magic. I'm sure of it. Arrest all those we have under suspicion.

Arthur: I can't arrest people without solid proof-

Uther: You can and you will. My ward has been attacked. I won't give them the chance to attack again. (leaves)

Arthur: (sighs)

Meanwhile. In Gaius' Tower. Merlin spying on Gaius and Morgana from outside.

Morgana: (cover in a blanket, still pretty shaken) It happened so quickly. It was terrifying.

Gaius: (puts a hand on her shoulder) It's alright. You're safe now.

Morgana: ...

Gaius: Is there something you like to tell me, my child?

Morgana: ...No.

Merlin: (thinking, confused) How weird. She confided Gaius she believed she caused the fire before, why isn't she doing it now? (enters) I brought the herbs.

Morgana: (tenses)

Gaius: Just what I needed. (to Morgana) I'll have a remedy for your nerves in no time, my child.

Morgona: Thank you. (stands up quickly) I'll go (passes Merlin fast and leaves)

Merlin: (very serious) It was magic. Uther can be unreasonable when its comes to magic sometimes, but he's not dumb. And neither is Morgana.

Gaius: Merlin-

Merlin: Her dreams are visions, you've known that for a while and that's an hability only users of magic could have. She did this and you know it.

Gaius: She's better not knowing.

Merlin: NO! Not knowing it's what's tearing her apart! She needs to be told that she'll be okay, that her power is not something she should be afraid of. She needs... (trails off)

Gaius: What, Merlin?

Merlin: She needs guidance. Someone that can help her control her gift. Like me.

Gaius: No, Merlin. You can't!

Merlin: I'm not asking you.

Gaius: Are you out of your mind!

Merlin: You can't drug her and make her believe she's going insane for the rest of her life!

Gaius: Your magic must stay secret!

Merlin: Secrets be damned! You don't keep secrets from the people you love! It's always a lie, after lie, and then one day everything will blow in our faces and there's nothing we'll be able to do to repair the damage!

Gaius: ...

Gaius: This is not just about Morgana, is it?

Merlin: (sighs) My magic keeps acting on its own when Arthur and I kiss.

Gaius: Your magic is linked to your emotions, my boy. It's normal. Once the initial excitement has cooled off-

Merlin: It's not just that! I can't keep my magic a secret from Arthur anymore! It's not fair to him. (sinks in a chair) I shouldn't have started anything romantic with him without telling him in the first place! (sinks his face on his hands) He'll hate me now.

Gaius: What do you mean "now"? (pauses and then opens his eyes wide in realisation) Merlin, are you planning to tell Arthur? I thought you were going to wait until he is king!

Merlin: (gets his hands of his face) That was before we became... lovers (blushes, but then sighs, kind of defeated) I can't have our relationship be based on lies.

Gaius: Your magic has nothing to do with your relationship.

Merlin: It has everything to do with it! I don't just have magic, I am magic and he deserves to know who he's giving his heart to.

Gaius: (sighs)

Merlin: This is the part when you tell I'm crazy and I shouldn't even think about doing this.

Gaius: Actually, I think you should tell Arthur too.

Merlin: WHAT?! 😨

Gaius: Not for the same reasons you are saying though. I'll feel more at easy knowing you have Arthur's full protection.

Merlin: Let me get this straight. You think telling Morgana, who actually has magic, is insane, but telling the Prince of Camelot himself is more than fine?

Gaius: He almost started a rebellion against his own father for you. That's more than enought proof for me that he wouldn't let any harm come to you. In the worst case scenario, he'll send you away for your own protection, but I vehemently believe even that is pretty unlikely.

Merlin: It's not banishment I fear or that he wouldn't forgive me. I know he would eventually. (His eyes water) But what if he doesn't want to be with me after I tell him? What if he doesn't love me anymore? (Tears run down his eyes) I don't think I can't go back to being his friend. Not now that I know how it feels to be loved by him.

Gaius: Oh, Merlin. (Holds him)

Merlin: (crying) I love him so much, I don't want to lose him. (Keeps crying)

Arthur: (enters) Gaius, I need-Merlin! 😨(Runs to him, concerned) What happened?!

Merlin: (snifs and wipe his tears) It's nothing.

Arthur: It's not nothing. You are crying! (makes a move to put a hand on his shoulder)

Merlin: (stands up quickly, evading him) I'm fine.

Arthur: Merlin-

Merlin: I have chores to do. (leaves)

Arthur: Merlin! (makes a move to go after him)

Gaius: (stops him) Better leave him alone. He'll come to you when he's ready to talk.

Arthur: (even more worried) Is... is this about last night?

Gaius: (confused) Last night?

Arthur: Gaius, I swear to you I didn't mean to cross his boundaries. I don't know what came over me when we kissed-

Gaius: Sire, as much as I appreciate the trust you have on me to tell me some things, I rather not be informed in whatever is that you do with my ward in private.

Arthur: But-

Gaius: Shh!

Arthur: I-

Gaius: No! Do not involve me! I will not be an intermediary between you and Merlin. You two solve your things on your own.

Arthur: (sighs in defeat) Alright.

Gaius: Now. What is that brought you here, your Highness?

Arthur: My father insists the fire in Morgana's chambers was started by sorcery, so... I need names.

Gaius: (his face changes) Oh... I see... (sighs) I'll write down all the suspects I can think of for you, my lord.

Arthur: Thank you.

Gaius: (starts writing down names in a parchment)

Arthur: (looks angry as he does it)

Gaius: (notices and decides to test him) You don't seem particulary happy about this decision, Sire.

Arthur: I'm not. But I can't disobbey the King.

Gaius: But you think the king is wrong?

Arthur: (thinks for a moment before answering) Even if his suspicion were true, arresting everyone suspected of doing sorcery is unjust. Is like arresting everyone that has a sword just because someone was run through with one.

Gaius: (nods and finishes to write) From what I recall, everyone in here had contact with druids or sorcereres at some point, Sire. Geoffrey should have the record of more and their whereabouts, especially the names of the relatives of executed sorcerers in the last years.

Arthur: Thank you again, Gaius, for your service.

Gaius: (gives Arthur the parchment) Once you finish collecting all the names you need, be careful where you put the list, Sire. It would be a shame if someone got a hold of it... and gave the suspects a head start.

Arthur: (catches the message and smiles) I understand. (takes the parchment) I'll keep that in mind. (leaves)

Gaius: (thinking, smiling) They will be fine.

Time skip. In a corridor. Arthur aproaches Merlin.

Arthur: Merlin!

Merlin: (thinking) Shit! (says) Do you need something, my lord?

Arthur: No, don't call me "my lord". Not now. You've been avoinding me all day.

Merlin: (hangs his head) I'm sorry.

Arthur: (sighs) No, it's me who should apologize. Merlin, last night I... (trails off as he notices Merlin is carring some flowers)

Merlin: (nervous, thinking maybe Arthur did notice the things floating around) Right... Arthur, I need to tell you some-

Arthur: Why are you carring those flowers?

Merlin: (looks the flowers) Oh, they are for Morgana. You know, to cheer her up after the fire-

Arthur: (angry) You are bringing flowers for Morgana?

Merlin: (confused) Yes? Is that...bad?

Arthur: (sarcastic) No, it's fine. Totally fine. You gifting a girl flowers. Why would that be bad?

Merlin: It's not like that. Why are you... wait... (smiles in disbelief) You are jealous?

Arthur: (still angry, but blushes) No.

Merlin: You are!

Arthur: Stop smiling! I'm not jealous, but if I were I'll have every right to! You avoided me all day and when I finally find you you are giving a token of your affections to someone else!

Merlin: (now angry too) It's not a "token of my affections". I was just being nice. I told you, I wanted to cheer her up after the fire. Because that's what friends do.

Arthur: Really? Because we've been friends for more than a year and you've never given me any flowers.

Merlin: There was never a fire in your chambers!

Arthur: Right. 🙄

Merlin: (offended) What are you saying? That you think I'm cheating on you?

Arthur: What? No!

Merlin: I can't believe you! We've only been together for 2 days and a half and you already think that low of me? (looks hurt)

Arthur: No! I would never-

Leon: (enters) Sire, the King wants to know if... Uhm... Did I interrumpt something?

Merlin: (turns to Leon with a polite smile) No at all, Sir Leon, you just missed the part when giving flowers to a friend means I'm a whore. (turns around and walks away at a furious pace)

Arthur: I never said that. Merlin!

Merlin: (already gone)

Leon: I'm assuming your apology didn't go well, Sire.

Arthur: Shut up.

Time skip. At night. In Morgana's chambers. Morgana sitting on the bed while Gwen finishes to arranged the room.

Gwen: Oh, I almost forgot. (points the vase with the flowers) Merlin brought this for you.

Morgana: (very surprised) He... did?

Gwen: Why so surprised?

Mogana: (forces a smile) Oh, I just thought he wouldn't dare. With how jealous Arthur can be.

Gwen: They did get into a fight for that. (giggles) Their first couple fight, can you believe it?

Morgana: Uhm.

Gwen: (worried, thinking) She's not even asking for the details. She must be really upset. (sits on the bed next to her and says) I can stay if that would make you feel better.

Morgana: You've done so much already.

Gwen: I don't mind.

Morgana: I thought you were going on a date with Lancelot tonight.

Gwen: I canceled.

Morgana: Gwen-

Gwen: My duty to you is first. (puts a hand on hers) You are not only my Lady. You are my friend.

Morgana: (smiles, her eyes watering with emotion) Thank you. (looks the candles in the room) Can you... take the candles out?

Gwen: Of course. (takes the candles out of the room and then comes back)

Morgana: (lies on the bed leaving a space for Gwen)

Gwen: (lies on the bed next to Morgana)

Morgana: (cuddles with her) I'm scared.

Gwen: A thunder can't strike in the same place twice. You're safe.

Morgana: Not of the fire. My nightmares are getting worse day by day. Telling me horrible things about everything and everyone. And it's getting to the point I... (trail off)

Gwen: What?

Morgana: (tears roll down her eyes) I don't know who to trust anymore.

Time skip. The next day. In Arthur's chambers.

Arthur: (about to enter)

Merlin: (opens the door just when he's about to enter) Oh... hi.

Arthur: Hi...(notices Merlin is carring his chainmail) You are just cleaning that? I told you to do it yesterday.

Merlin: Sorry, I was too busy collecting flowers.

Arthur: (sighs) Merlin, I'm sorry, alright? I never meant to-

Merlin: No, really. Look. (gets out of the door frame so Arthur enters and points the vases full of flowers in the room) I... picked them myself. (blushes)

Arthur: (enters, looking around in awe. The flowers are everywhere!)

Merlin: (puts the chainmail aside) I still think you were jealous obnoxious prat (crosses his arms, angry, but soon softens his expression, blushing) But it's true I haven't had any romantic gesture with you. And you had so many with me... I didn't want to be left behind.

Arthur: (walks to one of the vases and touches the flowers delicately)

Merlin: I know this can't compare to a horse, but-

Arthur: I love it. (turns to Merlin with a big emotional smile) It's perfect.

Merlin: Really? 🥺

Arthur: (laughs softly and holds Merlin's hands tenderly) Really. The most beautiful gift I ever been given.

Merlin: 😍

Arthur: It's also the cheesiest gift I ever been given.

Merlin: You are one to talk! Sir "I got you a purple lily in a pot so it doesn't die".

Arthur: (laughs but then his face changes to worry) Wait, you said you picked them ALL yourself?! 😨 That's too many plants! Are you okay? (holds Merlin by his upper arms)

Merlin: (blushes more) Eh...Yeah, collecting herbs for Gaius it's barely a sting now. This was nothing.

Arthur: (his eyebrows still frowing in concern)

Merlin: (moved by his worry, takes Arthur's hands off his arms gently, but doesn't let go of them) I really am fine.

Arthur: (smiles, more calm) Alright.

Silence.

Arthur: (smiling like a fool) We are... still holding hands.

Merlin: (smiling like a fool too) I know.

Arthur: Do you... want to let go?

Merlin: No.

Arthur: Me neither. But I need this one (lets go of one of Merlin's hands) to give you this (gets a parchment out of his pocket)

Merlin: (takes it) What's this?

Arthur: It's a list of everyone suspected of consorting with sorcerers, witches or druids. Names and last known dwelling places. It's all there.

Merlin: (his face falls) Oh... right. Why are you giving it to me?

Arthur: I don't know what my father will do to suspects once I arrest them, so... I want you to give them a warning before I gather the men to go after them.

Merlin: (in utter shock) You... want me... to help them escape?

Arthur: I know it's a great risk and you probably won't be able to reach them all. Putting you in danger it's the last thing I want. (puts his free hand between Merlin's shoulder an neck) But you are also the only person I trust with this task.

Merlin: (a pang of pain in his heart) Trust?

Arthur: And with my life, to be honest. There's no one I trust more than you.

Merlin: (lets go of him and steps back, the parchment falling to the floor)

Arthur: (frowns) What is it?

Merlin: You shouldn't.

Arthur: What?

Merlin: I haven't been honest with you.

Arthur: Merlin-

Merlin: No! You've been so good to me. It's not fair I haven't been corresponding you in the same way. (his eyes water) Since we started this, us, you've given all of yourself, while I've just been giving you pieces. I should have let you in from the start, I know I should, but I couldn't. I was so scared, I didn't want you to hate me. But thats's also selfish. You deserve more, Arthur, you deserve-

Arthur: Are you leaving me?! 😨

Merlin: What? No!

Arthur: (gives a sigh of relief and brings a hand to his chest) Don't scare me like that!

Merlin: I would never leave you, Arthur... But you may want to leave me after I tell you this. (takes a breath) Arthur-

Arthur: I know.

Merlin: (very surprised) You do?

Arthur: And I understand completely. This is your very first relationship, it's normal that you are not ready for doing some things.

Merlin: ... What? 😧

Arthur: (takes his hands, lovinly) Merlin, I would never force you to do anything you don't want to do.

Merlin: Arthur, that's not-

Arthur: What happened that night, I was affected by my nightmare, but that's no excuse. I acted out of line and for that I sincerely apologize. I'm more than okay with going slow. Truly.

Merlin: (thinking, teary eyes, moved) Why do you have to be this sweet now? You are making this even more difficult! (sighs, thinking) Well, This will have to do... (says) Arthur, I need you to look into my eyes closely and to not stop looking at them, no matter how scared you are.

Arthur: (confused) Why would I be scared?

Merlin: Just do it. Please.

Arthur: (does it)

Merlin: (lets go of Arthur's hands and puts his hands together) Gewyrcan lif. (his eyes turn gold and he opens his hands, a butterfly flying out of them)

Arthur: (between in shock and mesmerized, because he has never watched Merlin doing magic so closely before and it's so beautiful he thinks he'll fall in love all over again)

Merlin: (evades his gaze as soon as he finishes, too ashame, too scared, preparing himself for Arthur's rejection and yet not wanting to recieve it) I… I have magic (tears roll down his eyes) I'm a sorcerer. But I only use my magic for you, Arthur. Only for you. Please, don't hate me-

Arthur: (aproches) Merlin-

Merlin: (steps back, shaking) I was born with it, I didn't have a choice, I swear! I couldn't tell you, but you deserved to know. That's the only thing I kept from you. Everything else is truth! My feelings are truth! I'm still me, I'm still the same person you knew. Please, believe me-

Arthur: (reaches him and lifts his chin so Merlin looks at him in the eye)

Merlin: (flinches, but doesn't move away)

Arthur: You told me to not stop looking at your eyes.

Merlin: (confused, tears still rolling down his eyes and a vulnerable expression on his face) What?

Arthur: I don't hate you. I could never hate you. The only think I hate right now is that you seem so scared... of me. (his eyes watering) You flinched from my touch for the first time and that should never be. You should never feel unsafe around me.

Merlin: I...

Arthur: (smiles) Thank you for trusting me with this. It mustn't have been easy for you. And you have nothing to fear. I won't tell anybody, your secret it's safe with me.

Merlin: (dumbfounded) You... forgive me?

Arthur: (gives a teary laugh) There's nothing to forgive! We are in a kingdom where magic is outlawed. I can't hardly blame you for keeping it secret. (thinking) And yet I did before. And I'm so sorry it took me so long to understand. I'm so sorry, Merlin.

Merlin: (daring to hope) And... you... still love me?

Arthur: (cups his face with one hand lovinly) I love you. All of you. You having magic doesn't change a thing.

Merlin: (breaks down in a crying mess because this was more than he ever bargained for and he's so relieved and so happy, and also so scared none of this is true, because it's too good to be true)

Arthur: (hugs him, protective. His heart breaking for Merlin and furious with the world that made him live in fear for so long) It's alright. You're safe with me. I won't let anything happen to you. You are safe.

Merlin: (still not believing it) You love me!

Arthur: I love you. Everything is alright.

Merlin: (pulls away a little and kisses him suddenly)

Arthur: (startles, but soon kisses back)

Merlin: (turns the kiss more desperate, his hands curling in Arthur's shirt)

Arthur: (separates the kiss, with labor breaths, but still holding Merlin close) Wait, you're vulnerable now. I don't want to take advantage of you.

Merlin: I want to. I really want to. I was just holding back because of my magic.

Arthur: (confused) What are you-

Merlin: (begs) Kiss me. Show me that you love me. Please.

Arthur: (kisses Merlin passionately)

And Merlin knows everything it's alright because Arthur still loves him. Arthur accepts him wholy. Everything is alright.

...

Do you remember that the very first part of this AU said that Arthur confessed he always knew about Merlin's magic and that he is from the future shortly after Merlin confessed he is a sorcerer? Well, let's say it's not going to be that shortly after anymore for drama and plot purposes 😅

I hope you liked this magic revealed. 😊

I'm not done with "The Nightmare Begins". There's still Morgana. What do you think her dreams where about? What does she knows? Find out in the next part of "Merlin: IT WAS ABOUT FUCKING TIME"

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @starrieisdelusional , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @curiously-lazy , @harriettesthings , @andrealux16 , @wacko-weirdo , @greatdonutenemy , @yougottobekittenme , @anxiousosaurus , @kinkforwings , @someweirdassnamee , @impracticalantlers , @miyriu , @hobipabo , @whitemaskcd , @bogslob , @braziiis , @rubinaitoart

[hawkinsbnbg]

anytime, darlin'

prompt: guard | word count: 532 | rated: T | tags: mutual pining, strangers to lovers, shotgunning, dom/sub undertone | @steddiemicrofic | ao3

Stumbling through the exit door, Steve moved to lean against the nearest wall, fingers rubbing at his throbbing temple.

He liked Alibi Tarven—away from Hawkins and served good beers—but the place could be overwhelming sometimes. And tonight, it seemed, had proved to not be his friend.

He rummaged in his pockets for the Marlboro pack, cursing under his breath when he dropped the only cigarette left. Before he could crouch down to retrieve it, a ringed hand beat him to it and caused Steve to jump a little.

With his tunnel vision, he didn't realize someone had already been there, especially not the hot bartender—Eddie—who had barely said a word to him and still managed to sneak into many of his (wet) dreams lately.

Maybe it was those sharp eyes, tattoos, that Southern drawl and low bun. Maybe it was those toned forearms, long legs, and lean build. Whatever it was, Steve kind of figured he wasn't as straight as he thought.

(Not necessarily a big deal. But he was still grateful Robin had held his hands while he steamrolled through his crisis.)

If Eddie heard his startled yelp, the man didn't say anything. Instead, Eddie offered to light the cigarette for him, which Steve declined politely because he refused to put the soiled butt into his mouth.

He shoved his trembling hands into his pockets. Another side effect after Starcourt. Annoying, but far more tolerable than those persistent nightmares and migraines.

Wordlessly, Eddie fished out a joint and lighted it, took a drag, and exhaled tendrils of smoke while regarding him with those hooded eyes.

“You trust me, sweetheart?”

Steve gaped, caught off guard by the question. But he must be crazy, because despite them being strangers still, he found himself nodding.

It was enough for Eddie to step closer and plant a hand by his head.

“Open up.”

As if possessed, Steve complied, trying to not gasp when their lips almost touched, curling his tongue to keep the smoke fed to him.

Then he inhaled, feeling his tremor subsided, limbs loosened as tension bled out of him.

“There you are,” Eddie smiled lazily, giving his heart a heavy thud. “Feelin’ better, yet?”

“Mhm,” he nodded slowly, eyes big and shiny as they glanced up through his lashes. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, darlin’,” Eddie drawled, all low and sexy.

“I’m Steve,” he blurted out, blushing. “But I can also be your, uhm, sweetheart.”

Inside his head, Robin put a tally mark on the ‘You Rule’ column.

“So sweet, huh?” Eddie thumbed his bottom lip, dark eyes glinting with amusement and something akin to fondness. “Made of sugar, aren't you?”

“I am,” Steve giggled, hooking his hands behind Eddie's neck. “Wanna have a taste?”

As if waiting for just that, Eddie grinned, strong arm snaking around his waist possessively, big hand swallowing the back of his head, pulling him into a bruising kiss.

The morning after, Eddie would ask him to stay for breakfast, and he’d agree without doubt, not knowing Eddie had plans, not knowing he was going to be wooed and adored until he became molasses.

But he would, eventually. When Eddie continued loving him every day. And ever and after.

[kazumist]

HOW TO CURE A FRAGILE HEART .ᐟ

✩ — how does one cure a fragile heart? well, soshiro thinks comfort and reassurance is the best cure for that. (takes place after the tachikawa raid)

✩ — includes: hoshina soshiro x gn!nurse!reader (they are so back !!!). hurt/comfort. cw: mentions of blood, bruises, hospitals, etc. but it's nothing too graphic, pet names (sweetheart & love). wc: 1085. reblogs and feedback are much appreciated !!

✩ — note: well. like i said in my note for handle with care, i actually wrote a part 2 for these two. but this and handle with care can be read as standalones! they're just set in the same uhm. timeline i guess? if that's what you call it.

your heart dropped at the sight before you. 

it was soshiro getting rushed inside the (temporary) medical area for the medical team. the actual medical building is currently in shambles with the whole tachikawa raid happening, and you didn't get a single update on the vice captain as you were too busy tending to the other patients that keep coming in.

he was all bloody and bruised. blood trailed down everywhere—from his head, his mouth, and his nose. you immediately rushed over, lending a hand in his treatment. this is exactly what you feared. a nightmare that came to haunt you in real life. the sight of soshiro being this injured was enough to make your whole world shake.

but for the sake of saving him, you needed to stay strong.

hoshina opened his eyes and was immediately greeted by the bright light of the room. he automatically noticed you sleeping on the side of his bed, arms crossed, as you laid your head against them. he then took in his surroundings and realized that he was in the hospital. and the bandages around his abdomen don't go unnoticed by him either. his body was still sore from how he overexerted himself during the tachikawa raid.

the sudden shuffle on the bed you were resting your arms and head on was enough for you to wake up, as your eyes widened. “hi.” was all he said before he yelled in pain at your hand, chopping his side.

“are you insane? you idiot! i—god,” you couldn't continue anymore as you could feel your voice cracking already. your hands meet your palms as they proceed to move up to the crown of your head. you refused to look up at the man lying on the bed at the moment.

he hears you let out a sigh—a shaky one at that. soshiro’s expression softens as he reaches out to gently caress your head. you still refused to look at him, keeping your gaze focused on the white bedsheet of the hospital bed. “ya could've at least congratulated me, ya know,” he says. it was a poor attempt at lightening the mood, honestly.

he knows that you already know everything that happened to him when he faced kaiju no. 10. in fact, he has a good guess that you lent a hand in providing first aid to him as soon as he got transported to the medics. 

and he already had a good guess at how worried you must've been to see him in such a state back then. soshiro knows you like the back of his hand; he could read you like an open book. so needless to say, he didn't have to be a genius to know that tears were already pooling in your eyes at the moment.

many thoughts ran through your head. every possibility that could've happened if he wasn't sent to the medics as soon as possible. and every single one of those possibilities terrified you. especially the possibility that he really could've—

you couldn't even bring yourself to finish that dreadful sentence.

he noticed you gripped your hair a little tighter, taking in deep breaths, although your exhale was still shaky like before. soshiro reached out to grab one of your hands, not wanting to hurt yourself with your harsh grip on them. “hey,” his voice was soft.

“love, what's wrong?” he asks.

you could only shake your head, although you let out a sniffle right after. despite his injuries and probably only a quarter way towards full recovery, hoshina was still able to move you closer to him. you could feel it—the steady beat of his heart, his breath at your ears as he reassured you that he was alive. and that he was fine.

(however, what if he wasn't? what if he actually spent his last breath on that training ground? the thought of that almost happening terrified you even more.)

hoshina gently grabs hold of your chin, moving your face to look at him. you hadn't realized that your tears started to roll down your face as you looked at him. he had a bandage on his cheek, and even more bandages around the lower part of his neck and it continued onto his abdomen. a hand slowly reaches up to his cheek, where he had a bandage on, as your thumb caresses his cheek bone.

guilt washes over you when you reflect on your earlier thoughts. why—how could you think like that? soshiro was right here, in front of you. why are you worrying about something that never even happened?

(a voice inside your head whispers that it could happen the next time he steps foot into the battlefield.)

“don't cry, sweetheart. ya know i hate seein’ ya in tears like this,” he says, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears. you lean against one of his palms, relishing the warmth in them. “i just…” you started, choosing the right words to say. “seeing you in that state was... horrifying. i—i couldn't bring myself to move at first before i snapped myself back in reality and helped with treating you.”

“i was so scared, soshiro.” you mumbled, leaning towards his chest. hoshina’s breath hitched at your words, suddenly imagining the possibility of you being in his shoes—he was terror-stricken from that thought alone. he let out an apology like he always does when he comes home to you injured, which you immediately rejected. “don't apologize. i know it's part of your job, soshiro.” you said, wiping your tears away.

he rubs soothing circles on your back and pets your head in return. “look at me for a minute, please?” he wasn’t the one who would say please so easily. but for you, it just comes naturally. you look up and meet his gaze. something was there in those maroon eyes of his—love. and a small hint of guilt as well.

“i’m sorry.” you said.

“why so?”

“because i… i couldn’t help but imagine the worst happening.” soshiro doesn’t need you to say anything more to understand what you meant by “worst.” he puts his forehead against yours and never breaks his eye contact with you. “that’s okay,” he then says. you were about to speak in protest of his words before he cut you off. “that’s okay because i know how much ya care about me, but always remember that i’m here, ‘kay?”

he was right. he was here. and he was fine.

and that’s all that matters.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

The sun to me

Chapter III. Sun ray.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x afab!reader

word count: 3.4k

chapter summary: discovering a hidden place helps discover hidden feelings and the camera captures a fleeting moment of happiness.

warnings: description of a nightmare with drowning

~ Masterlist for the series

~ next part

🌻 Sunflower - happiness and positivity.

There's no air that can reach his lungs, Hyunjin realizes this as the feeling of water filling up his insides consumes his entire being.

He's grasping for a figurative straw, his arms are lifting up to reach towards the surface, where he can see the light reflecting off of it, the sliver of hope he craves to hold on to.

Bubbles leave his lips as he screams silently in panic, unable to swim up, like some kind of deep sea leviathan has gripped his ankles and it's pulling him further down.

Down where he'll disappear forever, his body becoming food for the fishes, his existence forgotten like he was never even alive.

Like his dreams, thoughts and wishes didn't matter. Like whatever painting he ever created was scraped away, washed away, faded away into oblivion.

There's warmness and comfort replacing the harsh iciness of the sea when he stops fighting against it, letting it take him into it's depths where he'll be safe from all the harm that the big bad world has brought him.

Hyunjin's eyes open abruptly and the warmness he felt in his nightmare comes in the shape of salty tears sliding down his cheeks. He coughs, sitting up quickly, feeling like the air from his lungs has actually been taken away.

He reaches for the glass of water on the nightstand and drinks the refreshing liquid with big gulps.

He shivers, eyes fluttering before he reaches up to wipe his tears away.

Hyunjin can't even remember the last time he cried, or the last time he had a nightmare like this.

Shaking it off, he checks the clock and as he slowly comes to his senses, the hope he wanted so desperately to cling onto in his dream, lingers in his chest again.

It's almost time to meet up with you.

With newfound excitement, Hyunjin slowly but surely forgets about the feeling of the cold sea enveloping him as he gets ready for the day.

His camera is a must as he grabs it last, before skipping two steps at a time as he makes his way downstairs.

"Good morning, Hyunjin."- Isaac almost scares him as he appears beside him in the hall, a newspaper in his hand.

"Oh, good morning Isaac."- Hyunjin smiles, after the mini heart attack he experienced.

"What's the plan for today?"- Isaac asks and doesn't miss the way Hyunjin's smile widens.

"I- uhm- managed to find a tour guide for the island."- he stutters out, redness spreading on his cheeks.

"Oh really? And who might that be? I know everyone here and I just wanna make sure you're safe."- Isaac half-jokes, he has every good intention in mind.

"Y/n."- Hyunjin answers and Isaac looks a little surprised.

"So, am I safe?"- Hyunjin asks as Isaac gets quiet suddenly.

"Yes, yes, very safe. I'm just a little surprised that she offered."- Isaac says, waving the newspaper around.

"How so?"- Hyunjin tilts his head curiously.

"She's kind of a... homebody. Or gardenbody, if you will."- Isaac snickers at his own joke. "Mostly keeps to herself and her flowers. But she's a good girl, really."- he finishes, with his signature warm smile.

"I thought so too."- Hyunjin nods.

"Well, have fun. I hope you'll indulge me later with a little visit to my studio."

The lump in Hyunjin's throat is back.

"I'll try."- and he really will.

With all he has in him, he will try to look deep within himself to find the strength and inspiration he lost somewhere along the way.

When your alarm wakes you up that morning, you don't feel annoyed or groggy, you feel excited.

The sun coming through the window lays on your body like a warm blanket, threatening to make you fall asleep again but your galloping heartbeat doesn't let you fall into the safety of your dreams again.

You get up with a kind of giddiness in your body, a skip in your step as you decide to wear your favorite yellow dress, the color of the sunflowers, the one kept in the back of your closet, existing only for special occasions.

The thought of spending time with and getting to know Hyunjin, makes for a pretty special occasion in your mind.

You're already planning a little route, imagining taking him to all your favorite places, the ones you saw so many times now being looked at from a new pair of eyes, the eyes of an artist with a paintbrush and a camera.

You wait for him in front of your flower shop, clutching at your little backpack, nervousness washing over you.

Hyunjin arrives on time, the sunlight making him shine brighter than any pretty jewel you've ever laid your eyes upon.

When he sees you, his face breaks into a smile as he runs his hand through his hair, a habit you already picked up on.

He's wearing sunglasses and his usual jewelry, his camera resting on his chest and a backpack on his shoulders.

"Morning!"- you greet when he's close enough.

"Morning!"- he returns the greeting equally excitedly as he cascades up to you.

"Did you sleep well?"- you ask and Hyunjin shivers a little, his lips parting as he blinks.

"Let's say I did."- he nods, pursing his lips.

"It takes some time to get used to all the smell of the varnished wood in Isaac's house."- you chuckle, starting to walk.

"Oh, you've been there?"- Hyunjin asks as he hurries up to follow you.

"Of course! Everyone's been at Isaac's."- you chuckle again. "We're like a little community here. He invites half the island to dinner sometimes. Well, when it's his son's or wife's anniversary mostly. He doesn't want to be alone then. I bring him flowers and my mom's famous cake."- you say as you approach the little restaurant you visit almost every day.

"Oh yeah, he told me about his son. Not about his wife though."- Hyunjin looks thoughtful.

"He'll tell you, I'm sure."- you say as you stop walking. "I thought we could eat breakfast first if you haven't had it yet."

"Oh yeah, actually I'm starving."- Hyunjin nods quickly, almost forgetting about the previous conversation.

You walk in and are greeted by Catherine immediately as she stands behind the bar and wipes away clean coffee cups, putting them back in their designated places.

Luna is sitting at one of the tables, coloring and lost in her own little world.

Catherine greets you, then stops when she looks at Hyunjin.

"Oh, hello there...?"- she looks at your new friend expectantly.

"Hyunjin. Nice to meet you."- he picks upon everyone wanting to meet the newcomer at their island.

"Catherine. That's my daughter Luna. And my husband, Bennet."- she points at him just as he walks out of the kitchen, carrying a plate of pancakes for his daughter.

"Oh, good morning, good people!"- Bennet smiles and you chuckle.

"Hyunjin just arrived on the island and I'm planning to show him around. But we can't really do that on an empty stomach."- you say and Catherine chuckles.

"Oh no, we can't have the two of you hungry. Why don't you two sit down and I'll bring a menu so your friend can look at it?"- Catherine says.

You take your usual spot, next to the window and she brings the menu for Hyunjin.

"You eat lunch here, right?"- Hyunjin asks as he scans the menu.

"How did you know?"- you ask, looking up from setting your backpack down on the floor.

"It's kind of the only restaurant in the vicinity."- Hyunjin chuckles and you feel your face warm up in embarassment.

"Right."- you giggle.

"Here's your lemonade."- Catherine appears.

"Ooh, can I order one too?"- Hyunjin asks.

"Of course, I'll get right on that."- Catherine says before she disappears again.

"So, what do you recommend?"- Hyunjin asks.

"Well, an omelette is always good. So are pancakes. Maybe some fruit?"- you say and he chuckles.

"How about all of it?"

"That sounds good."

After you order a little bit of everything, Luna appears next to your table.

She giggles at Hyunjin shyly, half-hiding behind your arm.

Hyunjin greets her and you bend down to her level.

"Don't be shy."- you chuckle and then sign something as Hyunjin observes the two of you and realizes that the little girl is deaf.

"Oh, okay."- you laugh, your face red, you sign something else and Luna giggles again before running away back to her table.

"She can't hear at all?"- Hyunjin asks quietly.

"No, she was born like that. But she's a happy little girl."- you smile.

"What did you sign to her last?"- he asks curiously.

"I told her she looks pretty."- you say and Hyunjin nods. "She also said that you look like a prince, and that I look like a princess."

Hyunjin sputters, almost choking on his lemonade, his hand on his chest.

"Well, not sure about the first one but I agree with the latter."

Your heart threatens to betray you in that very moment.

With tummies full and cheeks rosy, Hyunjin and you walk quietly together, the sound of gravel crunching under your feet seemingly loud in the comfortable silence.

"Have you been living on the island your whole life?"- he asks, breaking the silence suddenly.

"Pretty much, yeah. I've only moved for college shortly but I never finished."- you say.

"What did you study?"

"Journalism."

"Really?"- he chuckles. "If you graduated maybe you'd be the one interviewing me and maybe we'd meet then, in the showbiz world."

"Okay, mr. Big Shot."- you laugh and he laughs embarassingly at himself.

"Why didn't you finish? Lost motivation or?"

"My mother fell sick. Had to move back and take care of her."- you say and Hyunjin again feels like he's just here digging into people's wounds.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. It was a long time ago now. I'm glad I moved back here. I like this quiet little life. I think the big city would eat me up, honestly."- you confess, leading Hyunjin to the pretty forest behind the beach where you sat looking at the sunset the night before.

"The big city really does eat you up. You get stuck in a rut and washed away with all the other trash."

"Speaking from personal experience?"- you quirk up an eyebrow as you finally get under the shade of the big trees.

Hyunjin lifts his camera up, snapping a few pictures before he turns towards you and you lift your hand up just in time for him to snap a picture of you trying to hide your face.

"Yeah, I guess so."- he answers, the look in his eyes doleful.

"Is that why you came here?"- your finger is now pressing into Hyunjin's own wound.

"Kind of."- he says quietly. "The lifestyle I live right now is not something I'm proud of and definitely not what I wanted."

"Sometimes you have to do the things you hate to get to what you love."- you say as the two of you make your way to the neatly hidden cove you always loved to come to with your little notebooks and pencils.

Sometimes you would go there just to sit and think. Sometimes it was the only place that you could cry in peace at, your tears blending into the vastness of the salty sea, soothing and alluring.

Nobody asking you what's wrong and what they can do to make it better, because nothing can make it better, nothing except letting it all out, away from all the prying eyes and hands.

"I'm pretty sure I mostly do things I hate. Don't even know what I love about it anymore."- Hyunjin finds himself surprised with the fact that he can so easily tell you what's been weighing heavy on his mind for what feels like an eternity.

"Don't you love painting?"

"I used to. Not sure anymore."- Hyunjin shivers at the realization that it was the first time he's uttered that out loud except when he was screaming at his manager.

"I'm sure you can teach yourself to love it again. Maybe with a little help too. For example, what is your favorite thing to paint? Or was, rather."- you ask, curiously tilting your head at him as you near the narrow entrance to the cove.

"Flowers."- Hyunjin says as you come to a stop in front of the entrance and he lifts his camera up to take photos.

"I happen to know quite a lot about flowers."- you tease and Hyunjin chuckles, putting the camera down.

"Oh really now? Maybe I could use your knowledge as my inspiration if you'll let me."- he smiles and your heart flutters.

"Sure, you can come to my flower shop or garden any time."- you smile back and it's like some kind of relief keeps washing over Hyunjin whenever you smile at him like that.

"I'd love that."- he says and you lead him through the little cave out to the beach.

"This'll be a pretty picture."- Hyunjin mutters just as you turn around towards him, the beach coming into view behind you in the opening of the cave.

Click.

The camera clicks, capturing the moment in the frame forever.

You chuckle as you walk out to the cove and Hyunjin follows.

"Wow!"- he gasps. "So beautiful. How is this place still not discovered?"

"Eh, during the summer months people flood this place like moths to a flame. But during the rest of the year, it's mostly empty."

Hyunjin snaps a few pictures again.

"Maybe I should take some pics of you too."- you say.

"Be my guest."- Hyunjin doesn't hesitate to hand you his precious camera.

It doesn't do justice to Hyunjin's beauty, his face bathed in the sunlight, his eyes closed as he turns towards the sea, his lips upturned in a small blissful smile, his dimples showing.

He really looks like the lead of a romance movie, the ones you watched way too many times, knowing deep inside that you'd never be that girl who gets the main guy.

Always the girl on the sidelines, where you got used to being to the point it became hard for you to even imagine falling in love or imagine going out of your comfort zone and giving away your vunerability into someone's open palms like it was just a thing to toss around as everyone takes a turn picking at it, leaving with pieces of you.

Pieces you will never get back, leaving you with your soul bare.

You don't want that, you don't think you even know how to give that anymore.

Everything you give, goes to your flowers.

All your love, your hopes and your tears grow in the shape of stems sprouting out of the earth, blossoming into different colored petals drenched with intoxicating scents.

"Took enough?"- Hyunjin breaks you out of your thoughts and you chuckle a little.

"I think so."- you hand him back the camera before the two of you take a stroll on the beach.

Hyunjin feels like the lead in a romance movie, but there's a wall in front of him, one that is too high to climb up on, too sturdy to break and too deeply rooted into the earth that you can't even dig a hole in it.

The setting is there, the girl is there, only his heart is not. It's scared, hiding away like a wounded animal after a scuffle.

If it was a few years before Hyunjin would surely already let himself fall into you, assured that you'll welcome him with your arms wide open but that's not who he is anymore.

Whatever kind of fairytale he blindly believed in before was just that; a fairytale, not a reality he could touch with his fingertips, hold in his arms, taste on his lips.

But, he is willing to deceive himself even for a fleeting moment of happiness like this.

The walk is short and you end up sitting on the rocks and taking more photos of the picturesque beach, the conversation between you now more light, avoiding the heavy themes and instead commenting on something laugh worthy, something to alleviate the heavy atmosphere threatening to absorb you.

You take Hyunjin back through the forest, walking him all the way into Isaac's street, promising that you will show him another favorite 'secret' place on the island in the next few days.

The sun is almost setting as the two of you turn around and start making your way to your homes.

Hyunjin finally feels something.

It may be small and flickering, like a light at the end of a ceaseless dark tunnel but he can see it in the distance, welcoming him with it's warmth.

Your evening routine has never felt more special. Even though it's the same night after night, it's like there's glitter sprinkled on everything you touch, making it glow beautifully like it was something completely new.

And while you hum along to your music and cook dinner like some movie character waiting for their lover to arrive home, Hyunjin is sitting in his room.

Isaac wasn't home when he'd arrived so he just made his way upstairs, the wooden stairs creaking under his weight, each one singing a different specific song.

Hyunjin ended up sitting on his bed after a shower and a snack, his camera in his hands as he looked at the pictures both of you took that day.

There was something familiar in the sun rays bursting between trees, in the crease of his brow, in the wave of the sea, in your bright smile. It was as if all of the nature's beauty blended together and into the two of you, whispering quietly to him, coaxing him into a net of safety.

Hyunjin caught himself smiling wide at the thought of you.

A knock on the door burst his little bubble, and he cleared his throat before yelling a 'come in!'.

"Evening, Hyunjin. I was just wondering if you'd like to eat dinner with me."- it was Isaac with his warm smile.

"Of course. I'll be down in five."- he says and Isaac nods curtly before leaving Hyunjin's room.

He sets the camera aside, accidentally casting his eyes on the paintbrushes sticking out of his suitcase he hasn't even completely unpacked yet.

Something twists in his stomach and he turns away from the little devils, deciding to make his way downstairs.

Isaac looks up from preparing the table and Hyunjin joins in, helping him.

"So, how was your outing?"- Isaac asks with a small smile.

"Refreshing, honestly."- Hyunjin returns the smile. "I don't remember the last time I was this relaxed ever since I stepped foot on the island."

"Well, that is so good to hear! I'm glad this little island brings you a peace of mind like it did for me."- Isaac says as the two of them sit down.

"I used to live in the big city. Stop me if I'm wrong here but you probably feel exasperated and worn out from the lifestyle of a successful artist."- Isaac starts and Hyunjin stops him.

"How'd you know I'm successful?"- he asks with his brows lifted up in surprise, making the older man chuckle.

"It's easy to guess so. With one look at your attire, anyone can see you're well off."- Isaac concludes.

"Right."- Hyunjin nods, his cheeks becoming rosy in embarassment. "So, you used to be a successful artist too?"

"Hey, don't say used to!"- Isaac laughs and Hyunjin chuckles, apologizing before Isaac hits him with a 'just kidding'.

"But yes, I used to live the lifestyle you do now. And even with my wife beside me, I continued living the same... let's say festive lifestyle and I neglected her and my son. Ah, it's a long story for another day."- Isaac stops himself.

"Well, I'd like to hear it one day."

"The point I want to make is, don't make the same mistakes I did. If you see a good opportunity, grab it while you can."

Hyunjin can't help but think he's talking about you.

He barely manages to fall asleep that night, even after walking around and eating good food, his mind is restless.

He dreams of blank canvases and sun rays that night. He dreams of your smile and the warmth he feels doesn't come in the shape of tears this time, it comes in the shape of a good feeling blooming inside his chest.

✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny @porangporangmeong @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @laughatdanger @lixies-favorite-cookie @linavc @quokkacidal @thisaintredwine @m00gyu @yaorzu-blog @skzfelixlove @tajannah-price1 @puccaaak @aft2rsexs @xxkissesforchanniexx @aprilmaejune77 @lilmeowneow @stayjinnie @astrobebba @danihwang882 @kaysungshine @nchhuhi @1810cl @chartrucewhore @babigriin @jisuperboard @alisonyus @minluvly @instantsoulnight

[bamboobooshark]

REMY LEBEAU X LITTLE!READER

⊹ ࣪ ˖🂱 ⋆˚⟡ BROKEN RULES : 840 WRDS

<RATING: PG, FLUFF, CRYING, AGERE>

A/N : “Bamb can we please get content other than X-Men agere?!” Not yet!!!!!! Please!!!!! My only CGs are fictional!!!! And I’m also in the process of writing a Wolvie request, Rogue headcanons, and tons of other stuff… ANYWAY uhm this is based off of one of my CG!Remy headcanons, so I hope y’all enjoy :]

<SFW INTERACTIONS ONLY, MDNI/18+ ONLY BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED>

Remy has been watching you all day. From the moment you came running to him because you had a nightmare at almost three in the morning, making you breakfast, watching Saturday morning cartoons, coloring with you, listening to some music, and playing card games with you. He was so tired right now. He tries his best to keep himself awake while being slumped against the couch. His hand absentmindedly runs up and down your back. You’re snuggled against his side with the back of your head pressing his chest. You kick your feet a bit off of the couch. Everything is so peaceful right now: Remy’s touch, his soft humming, your favorite movie on the TV, the sound of your legs moving against the fabric of the couch. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

Remy yawnes loudly, unable to contain his sleepy demeanor any longer. He moves his arm from your back to rest against your shoulder, his thumb reaching up and rubbing your cheek. “Gambit’s sorry, cher. I’m tired right now. I can barely keep my eyes open,” he mumbles while looking down at you with a tired gaze. It takes you a moment to process what he’s saying considering how focused you are. Once you get a second to take in what he said, you pout softly. You paw at his chest and give him a pitiful look while whining. He lets out a sad huff. Remy hates it when you’re sad. He doesn’t get angry; he just gets sad too. You’re his favorite little kid. He can’t let you be sad.

“Stay awake a little longer. Please, papa. I don’ want you to go to sleep,” you whine to him. Remy nods in understanding to your gentle pleading. “I know, mon chéri. But I can’ stand to be awake much longer,” he tells you. He displays an odd look on his face as he attempts to come up with a compromise. When he does, he kisses your forehead out of pure joy for thinking of such a good idea. “How ‘bout this? You an’ I go upstairs an’ cuddle. You can stay wit’ Gambit and he can stay wit’ you, cher,” he suggests with a sure smirk. Despite his confidence in his idea, you shake your head no. Remy bites the inside of his cheek nervously in response. He subconsciously holds his breath as worry begins to set in. He can’t let you go unsupervised or not be by his side. You and him have to be practically attached when you’re regressed. The last thing he wants is for you to end up lonely or anything worse. You go back to focusing on your movie, and Remy trusts himself; he could take a little power nap. Nothing too long, right?

 

He may have been a little far off. Next thing he knows, he’s waking up to a startling clanging and the sound of your feet quickly padding along the floor. He rubs his eyes and cards through his messy hair while looking around. The second he hears you crying, he goes into complete panic. “Oh! Mon chéri! Where are you? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asks out loud while getting onto his feet and trying to find you. You’re cowering in fear behind the couch, terrified that Remy is going to yell at you or punish you. However, when he finds you, he gives you the most genuine smile ever. He squats down and holds his hands out to you. “C’mon. Gambit ain’t mad. He is worried t’ough. He was scared you were hurt,” he explains to you while motioning for you to come into his arms. You nod your head and try your best to get to Remy your vision blurred by tears. “Dat’s it, mon chéri,” he praises as he pulls you to his chest. He wipes your tears and gently pets the back of your head with his warm hands.

“Now, care to tell Ol’ Remy what happened?” he asks sweetly. You nod your head against his chest slowly. You point over to the curtain rod that had fallen on the floor. Remy looks over with wide eyes and winces at the idea of every possibility of what could’ve happened. “I was walkin’ by the window and I slip on the curtain. I didn’ mean to make the metal thingy fall. I’m sorry, papa,” you explain, your voice quivering as you start crying again. “No, no, no. Dat ain’t no reason to be sorry. I promise. I don’t got any reason to be upset with you either. Long as mon chéri is safe,” he assures you, lifting up your hand to kiss the back of your palm. You giggle through your tears when he gives you the gentle kiss. Remy wipes another tear from your cheek and looks at you endearingly. “Dat’s it. Show Ol’ Remy dat adorable lil’ smile,” he coos. Out of impulse to do so, he pinches your cheeks softly, only resulting in more happy noises from you.

[peggyao3]

Relic - Pt. 10 "Fettered Flesh"

PAIRING: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Unnamed Ambiguous FMC

SUMMARY: ✧ Dreams are messages from the deep ✧

A woman from the unknown comes to Feyd in his dreams and his nights become his days as he flees to the dreamscape to escape the nightmares that haunt his waking hours.

TAGS: 18+, smut, she/her AFAB FMC, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex, Porn with Plot, Feyd-Rautha's black cum and big cock, Praise Kink, Body Worship, angst/hurt and comfort, drama, fluff, Frank Herbert would frown, some politics, implied/referenced (child) abuse❗, Trauma, mentions of suicidal thoughts❗, Healing, Strangers to Lovers, falling in love, Vulnerable/Emotional/Possessive Feyd, Feyd is a sweet baby who did nothing wrong and I WILL pamper him, nurture not nature, Stockholm Syndrome but in a consensual way, lucid dreaming, implied/referenced cannibalism❗, Murder, Female rage, Teaching the Universe about Feminism, Angst with a Happy Ending

WORD COUNT: 5k

A/N: HELLO PRECIOUS PEOPLE 💕 Shit hits the Giedi Prime fan, so get out your umbrellas!! I feel like with every chapter I'm getting more excited 🥹 And everyone who has left a comment is to blame 😭 I appreciate it so greatly 😭 I've recently started an internship thingy (in a manner of baby's first real job experience lmao), so I have a bit less time to write, but chapter 11 and 12 are finished already, so I do have a bit of food in stock 💪

Reposted from my Ao3 💕| Masterlist | Relic Masterlist

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

← Previous Chapter, Next Chapter →

Day 5

Jealousy is a beast, but loneliness is a monster.

Jealousy ignites with fiery tendrils but loneliness drowns you slowly until you're staring up from the bottom of the pitch black sea, yearning for the light.

All day she's been mulling over the three woman-creatures, Feyd's "pets". What is it that infuriates her the most? The physical violence? The fear of what they might have done to her - Death, torture or worse? Their derogatory status? Their beastliness grafted into female bodies, paired with the fact that Feyd has been bedding them at some point?

Without thinking about it, and perhaps it is tactless, she has been pouring her heart out to Lilia while the attentive handmaid is treating her scabbed injuries from last night. Now it is evident that wound management is a well-needed skill around the Harkonnen palace. The sarcophagus is safely folded up and her new weapon is tucked into one of the compartments.

"Am I overreacting?!" She asks, even though - hell no - she knows she isn't, but a part of her soul yearns for human connection, affirmation, camaraderie, friendship. It feels so good to be talking to someone who is not the man she thought she knew or the belittling Bene Gesserit sisters.

"Hmm," Lilia begins tentatively and the glowglobe light brings out the unusual color of her eyes as she tilts her head, so amber that they almost appear golden. "While I'll say it's never been common for the na-Baron to practice monogamy… I'll also say that I'd be quite furious at my husband if he had three women on the side." Her voice quivers upon women, as if it repels her to describe the three beings as such. The spider in the Baron's throne room may be the most harmless monster to roam these halls.

The engineer's questions chip away and it becomes perfectly clear that it's the jealousy that cuts the deepest, even with her superficial wounds cared for, a blade is wedged inside her guts that will keep on cutting.

"And do these 'pets' have handmaids too?" A self-destructive question to determine where her own status truly lies. What's a bride but another pet to him?

"They used to have handmaids…" Lilia hesitates. "But they always ended up eating them. I'm glad to be assigned to you, my Lady."

Great. There she has another horror to add to the menagerie.

Lilia continues: "If it calms you, I doubt there will be any further incidences with them. The na-Baron has been in an, uhm, unstable mood since last night." The maid's posture turns rigid. She shouldn't be speaking about the na-Baron like that, but the Earth woman's emotions are contagious. Lilia will get herself killed if she's not careful. She's been telling that to herself since she was a little girl.

"Unstable, uh-huh, well so am I."

The Harkonnen woman nods and decides it is best not to elaborate on what it means when Feyd-Rautha is having the worst day of his life.

Vladimir Harkonnen chuckles with delight at his nephew's distress and the infantile killing spree that has been painting the halls black since last night.

It took even less time than he expected, for the new woman to be disgusted by his poor nephew and he cannot hold it against her. Feyd-Rautha is a raging child in an unfortunately manly body. 

The Baron is well-entertained by the hollow screams that blare down the hallways. First the three harpies. A shame, they had helped keep Feyd settled so nicely and they hadn't been cheap either. It's also a shame that the Bene Tleilax don't offer bulk discount, considering the number of Gholas the Baron saw himself forced to commission for the little game his nephew and he have been playing.

Next on Feyd's blade was the guard at his little witch's door, then anyone who crossed his path in the night, all the while Feyd was chafing with desire to be cut and hurt. But no one outside of the ring is allowed to raise their blades against the Baron's heir apparent, unless instructed by the Harkonnen sovereign himself.

Some fire has returned to his nephew since the woman's arrival and he appreciates that, yes, he does, but he will keep a sharp eye on the two of them. He has no doubt that she's a Bene Gesserit agent who has implanted phantasms in Feyd-Rautha's mind, but Vladimir is willing to play the sisterhood's game, for his nephew's sake, even though he had sworn to never let a witch enter his fortress again. 

Not since Lady Margot Fenring had tried to steal his lovely boy's precious seed. Luckily, Feyd's blade had worked quicker than the thief's vocal chords.

But Valdimir is willing to adapt. The boy had been boring him to death for the past two years and he used to be so entertaining and feisty!

In the evening hours after a night and day of bloodshed, Feyd still has stamina (a trait the Baron cherishes so dearly about his nephew) and comes barging into the guarded dining room, bringing with him the cloying scent of blood that sticks to the tacky soles of his boots. He wears the clothes of yesterday and blood lust in his eyes.

Careful now.

Vladimir gives no sign to the guards, chews without haste and takes a noisy gulp of wine, making sure a bead rolls down the folds of his massive neck. The muscle at his nephew's jaw twitches and his fingers strangulate the blood-slick handle of his blade.

The eight arm-legged arachnid creature shivers in its basket under the table, eager to get to Feyd, partly because his boots smell yummy, but it doesn't dare move away from the Baron's feed. Smart thing.

"Don't look at me like that. It's not my fault that she doesn't like you, boy."

Feyd halts as if struck by one of the bolts of infrared lightning that cook the atmosphere during the summer months. Tension strains his neck, a bull ready to charge at his Matador and for a second the Baron thinks he'll have to switch on his shield ring. But his nephew turns and barges off with bouncing, stomping steps, draining his stamina and wetting his knives on everything that breathes, when the only one he really wants to kill sits fat and mighty on his throne. 

It's almost cute, Vladimir thinks. The boy could kill him so easily now, if he really put his cunning, little mind to it. He's strong enough, smart enough, but his spirit - that's the crux. Feyd's spirit is broken and riddled with fear of the punishments. The last time he tried was at 17 and then never again.

Ah-h-h, yes, the Baron has conditioned him well and he considers it his retirement plan. Age hasn't left the Harkonnen sovereign unscathed and while his mind may still be sharp (or else how would he have come up with such a genius plan!), his morbidly obese body fully relies on the protection of his shield ring, guards, lung machine and poison snoopers. But as long as the boy still fears him, the deadliest threat within these halls remains on a pretty, silver leash.

The fire of jealousy has dwindled down and now all she does is miss him, sitting lonely in her room, lonely on this planet, lonely in the universe with only inanimate objects and the virtual messages and images of dead people to keep her company. None of this can ever compare to the warm hands of her beloved and his smile, the roundness of his cheeks and his painted teeth. She misses the way his eyes used to crinkle just for her. He had made her believe that only she could make him smile and offer a sliver of peace to his soul.

It's been two years since their last dream. Why wouldn't he have taken other women?

He said he "hasn't touched them". Since when? Since he learned she's alive? Since their first dreams? Ever?

She regrets now that she denied him when he knocked on her door an hour ago. The bitter guilt of disgracing oneself crawls over her when she slowly moves towards the door, but her self-respect has cauterized and become cinders along with her fury. Feeling sick to her stomach, she places her hand on the panel and the heavy door slides open.

Finding herself face to back with a guard in bulky plate armor, she halts. She wouldn't know where exactly to find Feyd's room anyway. The man turns on his heels and salutes briskly before returning his hand to the hilt of his saber.

"Good evening. Ah, wait, are you… New?" She blurts out, not meaning to seem disrespectful. The Harkonnens often do look quite alike to her, but she could have sworn the old guard was a little shorter.

"Yes, my Lady." The man looks right above the crown of her head, avoiding her eyes.

"What happened to the other guard?"

"He was replaced, my Lady."

That does make sense and she's almost a little relieved. She wouldn't want anyone who'd let these bloodthirsty creatures inside to guard her and her most valuable possession. However, she still hopes this incident won't ruin his chances of employment indefinitely.

"I see." She glances cautiously down the austere corridor. Past the windows, there is only blackness and the occasional faraway rumble from the factories. "Do you have to stand here all night? Your feet must be hurting. What about a chair?"

"I'm not allowed such luxuries."

"Says who? You can't excel at your job while being overworked and your feet are aching in those boots." 

The man wonders if the na-Baron's Lady wishes to insult or test him. "I am at full capacity, my Lady!" He salutes again. "I have no complaints about my boots."

"Fine, alright. Could you please point me the way to Feyd's room then? I want to see him. No need to accompany me, I'm sure I'll find it, just make sure no one enters my room, please?"

"Sorry!" The man extends his arm to the side, stopping her advance around him without laying a finger on the Lady. "The na-Baron has ordered this door to be sealed unless he or your handmaid demand entrance."

"Well I don't demand entrance, I want to exit. I want to see Feyd."

The guard grows queasy. That scenario was not included in his instructions. To be fair, the briefing for his new position can be considered rudimental at best but he didn't complain. Up here has been the safest spot in the palace tonight. "The na-Baron doesn't welcome visitors in his private quarters."

"But I'm his…" She swallows uncomfortably. "Betrothed, or am I not?"

"You are, my Lady."

"So, couldn't you perhaps call him?"

The poor guard's expression says 'I'd rather not'. The na-Baron has only just settled, finally, and even the dumbest desert rat knows not to wake a sleeping tiger. All evening long he's been wondering how many of his comrades will be dead come the morning and he doesn't want to be the next one to become fodder for the slaves' food rations. "I'm sorry, my Lady. It is against the protocol to disturb the na-Baron at night unless there is an emergency. Is there an emergency?"

"No…" The woman's expression twists into defeat and she pads backwards with slackened shoulders and somber eyes. "I'm sorry to have bothered you."

The door slides shut and she is too sad to even be angry about her gentle imprisonment. There's nothing out there for her anyway, except for Feyd, and if he doesn't want to see her…

Self-destructive thoughts sprout from the cinders in her chest and grow into the wildest phantasms. The guard was too kind to tell her Feyd has visitors in his room. Perhaps he explicitly decreed that she is not to join him.

To prevent herself from hurtling into a bottomless spiral, she must find a distraction. Nearly choking on bitter tears, she opens up the virtual app drawer that she's most familiar with and selects the 3d-modeling tool. A nice, little task to keep her thoughts from straying is exactly what she needs, and so she settles down on the bed and begins to design a practical, foldable, printable chair for her guard, thoughtfully optimizing stability and the required resources.

The engineer doesn't notice when her tears dry, but they do.

Day 6

She sleeps awfully that night, despite the chip's helpful sleeping program consisting of gentle rain and soothing frequencies. It can't have been much longer than two hours when she is awoken by a knock on the door, followed by another, more insistent one a moment later.

The 3d-modeling interface still overlays reality when her eyes snap open and her sluggish brain activity requires a moment to shut it down. She was almost finished with the printable chair parts last night, but she must have dozed off eventually. 

The knocking persists and she calls: "Lilia?"

A pause. "It's me." An unmistakable, deep and raspy voice comes muffled from the other side. Feyd-Rautha, freshly showered and dressed in a clean, casual suit, leans his forehead against the cool, thick plastic, breathing hard and fast so that his respiration condenses on the door. Waiting, he pleads silently for mercy. He cannot do this anymore, doesn't want to kill anymore just to feel something other than fear.

She freezes, legs half swung off the mattress as anxiety twists her belly. All of her jealousy comes crashing back and a little demon whispers poison in her ear: Go back to your hyenas and toy around with them, not me!

When silence is the answer to Feyd's timid greeting, his stomach drops as if filled with lead. Blood pounds in his ears like the war drums on his birthdays and his breath becomes shallow, so that he no longer even hears the guard's antsy shuffling. What will he do if she never forgives him? 

A harrowing need for violence flashes through him cold and dark and his twitching hand jerks for the blade at his hip but the door rushes open before he can brandish it and his woman faces him with crossed arms, her face puffy from sleep but her eyes are wide and vulnerable.

She beckons him to enter and he follows, eyes racing to the crowns of thorns in the vase, the sarcophagus, the ruffled bed, everything the way it was. How does she deal with pain?!

"Hello," Feyd mumbles, voice reduced to a tiny, grated whisper.

"Hello."

"Can we… talk?"

The relic nods and waits, clammy fingers clutching her sleeves. But then Feyd says… nothing. His eyes are focused on an imaginary point somewhere behind her navel and his jaws strain as if chewing a brick.

So, she begins: "I'm sorry, but I was very upset." She paces, shoulders drawn up. "I know that customs are different around here, I mean, they obviously are," she guffaws quietly and shakes her head. "But where I'm from, it requires consent to have more than one partner and I never gave you that consent. I've never given my consent to anything that's happened to me since I woke up! And then I found out you're alive and I can be with you and I really believed everything would finally be better, but you-" Her voice hiccups. "I'm very upset, okay?" Her lips twist and she lifts a hand to her mouth, sobbing quietly into her palm. "You're so different in real life."

Feyd's frozen limbs regain their agility and he jumps to her side as she tries to turn away, a swift predator despite his anguish. He clutches her by the arms. "Wait! Remind me. H-How was I in our dreams?" 

"I- I don't know, you looked happy." Her arms burn where he's holding onto her with his broad palms and long fingers. "And you were kind."

"Have I not been kind to you?"

"To me, yes. But being kind only to me is not enough." She shakes her head bitterly.

"What do you want me to do?" 

"Be honest with me. Who are these three?! They said you don't play with them anymore like you used to, and they hurt me, Feyd!" She writhes out of his clenched fists and he lets her because when her fingers skim his wrists, all his muscles go weak. She yanks up her shirt, showing off the healing gash on her waist.

Feyd wants to kill his darlings all over again and his sinful mouth twists into anger. "They used to be my pets. Pleasure slaves, if you will. Just some meaningless toys, nothing more, I swear it to you."

"Pleasure slaves!" She blurts out, shaking her head. At least he's being honest but - what the fuck?! "You-" Stumbling over her own words, she backs away from him with disgust. "Who are you? Who the fuck are you?"

More violence waits on her tongue. Does he respect anyone other than himself?

"You know me! You know who I am, where are you going?!" Doesn't she know she knows more about him than anyone else?

"I don't know shit about you!" She yells. "Where were you last night?"

"What?" All color is drained from his face. How could she know?

"Were you with them because I couldn't perform the way you wanted the other day?"

"What are you talking about?!" Feyd tries to grasp her by the arms once more but she twists away. If anything, he is at blame for being unable to make his woman comfortable enough to reach her release. What a pitiful good-for-nothing he is, pathetic down to the last, rotting cell. "I haven't touched my pets since I met you and that's the truth!"

"Oh, yeah? Then why was I not allowed to see you at night?" 

"What makes you say that?" 

"I tried to come to you last night, but the guard at my door said I'm supposed to stay in this room! So, were you with them?!"

Feyd stops his advance and an incredulous shimmer glazes over his blinking eyes. He could have held her last night, against his hurting heart. A dizzying lightness befalls his chest and sorrow becomes anger and anger wings his footsteps when he turns to the door, grinning, then giggling. Feyd slams his veined hand against the panel so hard, the screen cracks and inky blood slips down the valleys of his palm.

"Feyd? Feyd! What are you-"

The baffled guard faces the snickering na-Baron behind the opening door, last night's tiger resurrected like a Ghola for one last kill. A stammered 'my Lord' on diddering lips. Feyd-Rautha looks as bestial as his hyenas with prowling steps and rolling shoulders, searing eyes locked on his unmoving prey.

"You told my woman she couldn't see me last night? S'that right?" A slip of pink peeks out of the ghastly frame of black, gnashing teeth.

"My Lord, I beg your mercy, I didn't wish to distur-"

Metal flashes. The relic screams as the length of Feyd-Rautha's blade carves into the guard's pallid neck, Adam's apple bulging and sitting on the knife like a popped, black cherry. Blood sputters around Feyd's clenched fingers and laughter has faded from his lungs at once. He digs deeper as the guard draws in gurgling breaths, bubbles of air swimming in the blood around the metal.

The relic freezes like a mouse, glued to the spot as if she might turn invisible to the cold eyes of the beast who wears her lover's clothes. He looks nothing like Feyd-Rautha now, his features empty and alien with eyes that don't feel and hands unfazed by the death that stains them in thick, inky streams that roll down his victim's neck. 

This is how the universe sees him.

Feyd's blade slashes sideways, spraying a half moon of blood across the corridor and when the guard stumbles, he falls back into the na-Baron's knife, adding a vertical gash to the horizontal one, tip sinking into the flesh under his jaws, and with a jerk - up into his tongue.

The man grunts, still clinging to his life by a thread, and lurches forwards without drawing his sword. His head falls on Feyd-Rautha's shoulder. Feet shuffle in a grotesque waltz and Feyd's bloody fingers slip around the taller man's neck, holding him there while his blade plunges into his belly between armor plates so deftly, he could find all the weak spots blindfolded. The body slackens, weighing down on Feyd-Rautha whose ichor dripping fingers aren't ready to let go.

Shuk! Shuk! 

Is the sound of his blade sinking into soft flesh and viscera, whipping back out with a spray of blood and entrails.

The Bene Gesserit may have proclaimed her human, but the adrenaline that sets her nerves ablaze is a gift from her ancestors, animals, because that's what humans are at the end or the day when facing a bigger predator.

Fwump.

Feyd looks her way, the dead body dropped, and blood covers his hand like a shiny glove of ink, dripping down the blade tip in a drizzling stream. The light catches on the sharp edges of his alabaster skull and all she sees is a new, terrifying breed of human, birthed by a world of poison and decay. There are millennia between them. They may share the same DNA but that doesn't mean he is not an alien to her. 

In the end, the man from her dreams is not the man of her dreams.

Out the door? - Blocked! Death!

Off the balcony?! - Death!

To the Sarcophagus then. To her gun.

She turns and sprints, feet skidding over the shards of her rose-colored glasses, but Feyd pounces, a beast hungry for carnage, and catches her around the waist, hurling her backwards with the strength of three men. His blade clatters to the ground.

"No, wait. No. NO! NO! You can't go," he howls. "You cannot leave me!"

Wailing, she thrashes in his grasp and slams her elbow into his guts, her foot against his shin, then his crotch and the soft flesh there is squashed by her heel. When his hold slackens, she twists away and bolts, bare toes slipping across icy marble, but blood-smeared fingers find her shoulder, tearing on the fabric. She throws herself away from him so hard, the seam starts coming apart, so his other hand flies to her throat, steel-hard fingers curling around clammy flesh, yanking her around and against the wall.

She can't be looking at him like that, like he's the devil. Like he looks at his uncle.

Desperately, his lips search for hers but she jerks her head to the side, bites, scratches, nails burrowing into his throat. No is the word that Feyd-Rautha raps out between violent kisses that seek her pulse point with his tongue and teeth, no, she can't ever leave him, no, not ever, even if she hates him like everyone else. Her fear poisons the sweat on her neck and her nails don't egg him on, they hurt. He takes a knee to the guts and his lungs pop open for a harrowed cry.

Pain used to be pleasure but everything hurts, she doesn't love him anymore. One more meek and quiet final 'no' as he abandons the assault on her neck and his slackened arms wrap around her middle, hiding his face from rejection in her shoulder's soft flesh. Tears drip hotly, finally. All day and all night he's been waiting for the cathartic downpour, but not even the most pitiful plea could rouse a sliver of empathy in the hollow of his chest. Now he bawls like a baby forgotten in its crib and his blood-soaked hands seek purchase at the back of her shirt.

The woman grows still, nails still wedged inside the bloody crescent indents in his neck. Her lungs ache when she draws a trembling breath and Feyd-Rautha's hard, heavy chest moves with her, no more fight left in him. Quietly, she cries with him and curls her arms around his round shoulders, holding him there as he clings to her like an abandoned child and sheds tears for all the hurt and all the fear.

The man of her dreams is still there, somewhere, under the alien shell, vulnerable, weeping.

"You hate me, don't you?" A broken sob.

Looking over his head, the dead guard's viscera glitters darkly on the hallway and she is surprised to realize that even now, she doesn't hate him.

Feyd continues: "This is why I never wanted you to know who I am. I am awful."

"You're not awful," she whispers, fingers slipping around the back of his head, nails rimmed darkly by Feyd's blood.

"I have to be awful. I was born to be awful." 

"That's not true…" He was groomed to be awful.

But Feyd isn't finished. In a fashion of now or never, confessions spill out of him like poison rain. "I killed my mother when I was four. I don't remember why. I killed my pets. I kill men for sport. I kill people for fun. I kill because it's the only thing I can do. Yesterday, I-" His voice breaks. "I killed anyone I could find and no one fought back. I lo-o-ost count."

A full glass can't get any fuller when pouring more water, so shock and disgust are lost to the acceptance that has smoothed over the crescendo. They're just information to be added into a folder in her head. Feyd killed his mother. Feyd kills people for fun. Still, she holds him, fingers sliding up and down the back of his head as his shaky sobbing turns breathless and ugly.

"Okay," she whispers and rests her cheek on his head, exhaling softly so her warm breath fans his scalp. "For fun?"

"Ye-e-es."

"So, you had fun last night when you-" She swallows. "Killed?"

"No."

She lets out a thoughtful hum and Feyd's grip on the small of her back tightens. Still, he doesn't dare look at her and tears and snot have soaked her shirt. With her emotions currently defective, her ability for logic is still sharp, and so she concludes, it does all make sense.

Her poor Feyd, a current had pulled him under when he was barely a child and then layer after layer, he has been building his armor so as not to drown in the maelstrom of abuse. With every kill, a little boy has been screaming for help in an empty room.

Soft lips press a kiss to the crown of his head and Feyd's breath trembles in her hold, a beast tamed by a loving caress. That's all it takes.

Just because she understands his actions, doesn't mean she endorses them.

"Will you still be my wife?"

"I haven't decided yet." Another kiss so gentle, it taunts the corpses stacked up in the processing hall.

"So, we're no longer engaged?" 

"I don't think we ever were, not to me. But that doesn't mean I don't love you."

Dizzily, Feyd-Rautha raises himself. If not for the fingers twisted into his woman's shirt, he might just topple back into the spinning vortex at whose edge he is teetering now, one foot in heartbreak, the other in salvation. Blue eyes crack open, rimmed with dark blood vessels. She doesn't flinch, doesn't bolt, only her hands slide to the front of his suit and slip under the lapels, thumb rubbing where his heart hammers.

Feyd sees the tracks of dried tears on her cheeks and the shadow of horror tucked away in the corners of her eyes in a way that is all too familiar to him. More than anything, he wants to delete the images from her head and close the door, kick the blade under the bed, pretend it never happened. He tried to do everything right, got her flowers, hid her away in her own room away from state matters, made love to her with all his heart, but at the end of the day he is still who he is when he can't hide within a dream and it'll never be enough.

"Feyd, is… Is Lilia okay?"

"Yes, she is," comes the earnest reply and she exhales shakily, head sinking against Feyd's chest, arms sliding around his waist beneath the suit where his skin is burning hot.

"Thank God." Her voice warbles, the only warning before her knees give out and every other muscle along with them. The pair sink to the cold, hard ground.  "I just want to go home," she sobs and crawls in her beloved's lap which is still the only place in the cold, hard universe that soothes her soul.

Not her sarcophagus, although it is tempting to freeze herself up again and sleep forever. No, it is still him. A new home, not what she had imagined, but a home.

"Me too," Feyd sighs and squishes his cheek against the top of her head, closing his eyes to envision the bedroom of their shared dream, blue pillows, a white bed, a softly rustling fern in a terracotta pot, her in his arms. Home.

How easy it would be to demand of him: 'If you kill one more innocent, I will leave you!' But she might just kill more than she saves that way, and maybe him too, and maybe herself.

"Feyd, can you-" She sniffles. "If you get angry again, please never hurt Lilia. And whoever the new guard will be, don’t hurt him either. Can you do that for me please?"

"I promise." He squeezes her tight, eyes screwed up so tightly that he sees only dizzying stars. "I love you. I'm sorry."

She cannot fix the whole world, but she can start where she can see. It's not a solution, but a sapling, and a sapling can grow.

Mother Father How did I end up here, stone bound? All I feel ist the striking distance to the clouds My flesh is fettered on the skin of the soil But even so I almost reach the sparks in the void Sailing through the vacuum, am I drowned or alive?

- Cepheus by Fewjar

A/N: Okay, I promise promise this was the angstiest chapter, we're climbing uphill from here!! 🥺🥺🥺 Hand over your guesses, what do you think will happen from here? 😌💕 Thank you so much for all of your time!

TAG LIST:

@nostalgichoya, @forgedfromthestars, @sweetiee-o, @missbingu, @minedofmoria

@sebastianswallows, @charmingballoon, @flower-frog, @welliah, @aoi-targaryen

@coastalcowgirl35, @esolean, @szapizzapanda, @tatertooted

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Frank Castle X Reader: Spaghetti and meatballs

This post contains explicit content (minors dni)

Warnings: Smut, creampie, oral(male receiving), nipple play, rough sex, explicit depictions of sexual activities, unprotected sex, penetration (p in v), use of birth control, dirty talk, cursing, dry humping, size kink(kind of), bit of begging, pet names, fluff, sad feelings, ptsd.

Summary: Your curiosity about your new neighbor lead to unexpected consequences.

This man deserves the world

He didn’t know why he did it. Maybe he missed not hiding who he was. Maybe the lies were making him forget the truth of his identity. Or maybe he was just a lonely man looking for some comfort. Comfort you were more than happy to give him.

The apartment was shitty, the building was falling apart and you could never have a moment of peace and quiet since the thin walls allowed everything to pass through them. Still this was home, mold stains and all. 

Frank had become used to the musty atmosphere he lived in. He'd spend most of his nights at the construction site, hacking away at the walls until his fingers bleed and the voices of his loved ones died down a bit. But they never went away. Not fully. He was grateful for the outside noise, it seemed to dampen the weight of the memories but it couldn’t erase them. He’d been living here for a while but  had never gone out of his way to introduce himself to anyone. He wasn’t looking for friends. He wasn’t looking for anything really. But you had other plans.

You’d grown curious about your mysterious neighbor. You rarely saw him in the months he lived at the building but you could hear him through the walls. You’d hear him in the middle of the night gasping for air as he awoke from another nightmare. Could hear the sound of his boots clanging against the floor as he left to god knows where in the middle of the night. Listened to the small pained grunts he’d let out as he washed up after a day of work. You knew Frank's routine like the back of your hand, still you’d never met him before. It felt a tad invasive listening to him through the walls but it wasn’t your fault they were so thin they could barely keep out the noises on the other side. You don’t know what triggered you to walk over to Frank's apartment that fateful day but it was safe to say that nothing would be the same after your decision.

Frank didn’t have visitors. Ever. So when he heard a knock on the door on a random afternoon it surprised him. He’d gone into protection mode, the years of being in the army having forced him to believe all unplanned visitors were unwanted. Frank stood to his full height as he opened the door fully expecting to be greeted by some old enemy. Instead what he got was you. Your hands shook lightly as you held onto the tupperware container you’d decided to bring over. It seemed like a nice enough thought. Bringing some food over to your neighbor sounded like a hell of a good excuse to you but it didn’t stop you from being nervous. Your anxiety tripled the moment Frank opened the door, your eyes falling on him for the first time. He was huge. Much taller than you had anticipated and much more muscular than you’d imagined. You couldn’t help but think of how handsome he was. Frank glanced down at you, his eyes falling to the container in your grasp before moving up to your eyes.

“You need something?”

Gosh his voice sounded like heaven.

“Oh uh hi, I live next door.”

You gestured to your apartment door watching as Franks glanced at where you were pointing at.

“Okay.”

“Uh well i know we’ve never met before but uhm i ended up cooking too much food and i’m not one to waste a meal so i was wondering if…uhm… maybe you’d like some?”

You were stuttering like a little kid which caused Frank's eyes to soften a smidge. He glanced down at what you were holding his eyes trying to figure out what you were offering him. 

“It’s spaghetti and meatballs.”

Frank wasn’t picky but he was careful. He was used to having enemies which made him always stay on edge but the way you were shaking was enough to tell him you meant no harm. Frank reached for the food in your hands, taking the container from you. You played with the hem of your shirt, trying your best to keep yourself occupied.

“Thanks.”

“That’s what neighbors are for.”

You gave him a smile and Frank almost stopped breathing at the sight. He’d been too busy admiring your innocent features to notice the hand you’d stuck out for him to shake. Once he realized he hesitated for a moment before gripping your palm in his. Your hand was so warm against his. You told him your name and before he could stop himself Franks told you his. He told you his real name, not the shitty fake one he’d had to come up with. He expected your face to drop into a look of fear but you continued smiling up at him, seeming completely unaware of who he was.

“Well I'll get out of your hair. It was nice meeting you, Frank.”

And with that you walked back to your apartment, leaving Frank to himself. That day was the first time in a long time that Frank had indulged in homestyle cooking and the moment he put the first bite into his mouth he knew he was screwed. The PB&J’s weren’t going to cut it anymore. Not now that he’d tasted your cooking.

Since that day Frank and you kept crossing paths whether it be in the hallway or in the elevator or even at the supermarket. Basically wherever you went you’d risk running into Frank. You tried to brush it off as a coincidence but something told you it was more than that. And your gut was absolutely right. Frank had figured out your schedule and had made it his mission to run into you as much as he could. He wanted to talk to you but he didn't know how to go about it. 

Until one fateful day. 

He’d been laying in bed trying to read one of his books when his nose caught waft of a delicious smell. Frank got up from his bed making his way towards the scent. To his surprise the smell was coming from your apartment. He knew it was odd but he’d been itching to have another decent meal for ages. One of your meals to be more precise. And now that he could smell you cooking up heaven in your kitchen he couldn't resist. He knocked at your door lightly, his feet thumping against the ground anxiously. What the hell was he doing?

“One second!”

He heard you race over to the door turning the key before opening it. You were wearing an apron and your hair was pinned up so it wasn’t in your way. He didn’t know how to explain it but the homey nature coming from you made him feel calm.

“Oh hi Frank.”

“Hey, sorry for interrupting.”

“It’s okay, what can I do for you?”

“It smells like heaven in there.”

You blushed at the praise, Frank's words making you flustered.

“Thank you. It’s a family recipe.”

You glance back at the kitchen then at the small two person table in your apartment. It had been a while since you’d had company and you were sure Frank hadn’t just strolled over to tell you your food smelled nice. You’d reached out to him weeks ago and now he was reaching back to you.

“Actually… I could use some help. If you’re not busy that is.”

“Oh I wouldn't want to impose.”

“You’re not imposing. I’d like the company.”

You stepped to the side, holding the door open for Frank.

“Come on in.”

To your surprise Frank hesitated at the door for only a moment before entering your home. 

Frank helped you cook and the two of you enjoyed a pleasant lunch together. Before you knew it you were pulling out a bottle of whiskey and offering Frank a glass. The two of you moved over to the couch, the alcohol making your tongues lose. You spent the night chatting about things like you were old friends. Frank missed this. He missed talking to people like a human being. Missed being treated like a person rather than a machine. You were nice to him in ways he’d forgotten people were capable of being. It made him forget the idea of being alone. Made him crave something other than sleepless nights alone in a rickety bed. Made him wish he had someone to hold him again. Before he could hold back things started spilling out. He told you about his family, about the things he’d done, the people he’d killed and the truth of who he was. He’d expected you to run, grab a weapon, scream for help but you didn’t do any of those things. Instead you made your way over to him, placing a hand on his face and caressing his cheek. He looked up at you, the sadness in your eyes making his heart warm up. You felt for him. And in that moment it was like a damn inside him broke. The tears started pouring out of his eyes. All the pain and hurt he’d been hiding coming out all at once. You pulled him into your arms, your hands weaving into his hair as you shushed him. Frank latched onto your waist burying his face into your chest as he sobbed.

“That’s it, let it out dear. It’s okay.”

The two of you stayed linked in each other's embrace for a while before Frank sobered up a bit. He thanked you for the food and for listening to him and you told him it was your pleasure. He could tell you were telling the truth. Just as Frank was about to close his door you yelled out to him.

“Don’t be a stranger!”

And he knew there was no going back.

In the next few weeks you and Frank grew closer. Every morning he’d walk you to work before making his way to the construction site and everynight when he’d arrive there would be a container with food at his door. On Saturdays Frank would go over to your apartment for lunch and on Sundays you’d take him to your favorite restaurants. It was easy being around you. You didn’t push too much about his past and it was nice to not have to hide who he was. You liked having someone around and Frank made you feel safe. Just knowing he was on the other side of the wall in case you ever needed him made it easier to sleep at night. It got to a point that neither of you could be seen without the other and even though you didn’t know exactly what you two were you knew it wasn’t just friendly behavior.

One night you’d woken up to the sound of Frank banging on the walls as he screamed out in anger. You got out of bed, grabbed Frank's spare key and made your way over to his apartment. You knocked lightly on the door pressing your ear to it so you could hear inside.

“Frank, are you alright?”

No response. You knew about his night terrors, he’d told you about his bad dreams and the ptsd he had to deal with. The thought of him being alone when it happened tugged at your heart. You knocked again. Still no answer.

“I’m coming in, Frank!”

You unlocked the door, pushing it open slowly before entering the dark room. Your eyes adjusted to the lack of light from inside allowing you to see the rough outline of Frank's frame on his bed. You made your way to him, your hands moving to touch his shoulders. He flinched at your touch turning to look at you, a wild look in his eyes. His gaze softened once he realized it was you.

“You okay Frank?”

“Just a nightmare. Sorry I woke you. You can go back to bed i’ll be alright.”

He wouldn't be tough. Frank knew he wouldn’t sleep a wink after that dream. He'd just lay in bed looking up at the ceiling and trying to get those foul images off of his mind. You could tell he was lying. Of course you could. You’d spent enough time observing him to know the signs.

“Can’t bullshit me, Castle. Not anymore.”

Frank glanced at you as you gave him a small smile causing him to crack a slight smirk of his own.

“Can’t keep anything from you hum darling?”

“Lay down.”

Frank did as you said his body crashing onto the mattress. His eyes followed you as you moved to lock his door before coming back to his bed. You pulled the sheets over Frank's body, tugging them up so that you could move in next to him. Frank's brows furrowed as you laid down beside him and turned to face the opposite direction.

“Nothing bad is going to happen Frank. Not now that I'm here.”

Frank's shoulders sagged at your words. God you were an angel. What the hell had he done to deserve something so pure like you? You turned around to face him, your eyes finding him in the dark.

“This okay?”

You waited for him to kick you out but he didn’t.  Instead he pulled your body flush against his, his arms wrapping around your waist as you molded into his frame. You let out a content hum, snuggling into Frank's mattress.

“Night Frank.”

“Good night.”

Frank slept like a baby that night, the warmth of your body luring him into a deep sleep. It was an innocent gesture. The only idea in your mind had been about comforting a friend. Sure you liked Frank and if he offered something more you wouldn’t deny him but that hadn’t been your intention. Not initially anyway. 

It’s funny how fast things can change. 

You woke up the next morning to the sun shining through the thin curtains and making the room warm. You moved to stretch your body, pausing once you remembered where you were. Frank let out a small hum behind you causing you to recall what you’d decided to do last night. You’d been so focused on willing yourself to remember that this was real that you hadn’t noticed Frank's hand. There was no way it’d happened on purpose. Frank's hand was underneath your shirt. And that is not all. His palm was dangerously close to your breast. If he moved an inch he’d be cupping you in his hand. You closed your eyes as you let out a sigh. No way this was real. You had to still be asleep. Just as you were about to pinch yourself Frank stirred, his nose bumping into your neck as he moved closer to you. It was then that you noticed something was prodding at your ass. Frank Castle was hard. Hard and completely unaware of what that knowledge was doing to you. You tried to wiggle yourself out of his grip and spare yourself a weird interaction but the moment you moved you realized your mistake. Your hips had pressed against Franks hard on causing him to let out a groan, his eyes opening sleepily. Your eyes widened as they made contact with Franks who trailed his gaze down your body, eyes opening wide as he noticed what was happening. Before you could open your mouth Frank had sprang out of bed, his hands moving up in surrender.

“Ah shit. I’m so sorry I didn't mean to do that.”

You watched Frank stumble over his words as he tried to tell you that he’d never disrespect you like that and that he completely understood if you never wanted to see him again but that he was truly sorry. It was sweet of him to care so much but you’d be lying if you said you were paying attention to him rumblings. Instead your eyes were glued to his crotch. Frank noticed the blank stare on your face, his eyes trailing down to find what you were looking at.

“Oh fuck.”

Frank moved his hands to cover his hard on a blush staining his cheeks as your eyes found their way to his face.

“It’s a natural thing. It’s not your fault. Not that you couldn’t cause it i mean…shit i mean i’m not saying you’re not attractive enough-”

“Frank…”

“Dear god, I'm only making this worse. I just meant it happened other times too. But yeah you being so close to me didn’t help-

“Frank!”

Castle's eyes widened as you raised your voice forcing him to shut up. Now that you’d gotten his attention you moved closer to him, kneeling on the bed before reaching for his hands. You gazed up at him with doe eyes, your small hands wrapping around his large ones.

“I wanna see.”

Frank's breath hitched at your words a groan leaving his lips as he looked at you.

“Darling you don’t-

“I want to see you. I wanna see what I did to you.”

“Ah shit.”

Frank threw his head back as you moved his hands out of the way. You cupped his member through his sweatpants making him moan. You inched yourself closer to the edge of the bed allowing your feet to hit the floor before glancing up at Frank once more.

“You gonna let me take care of you? Or am I gonna have to beg?”

“Fuck sweetheart.”

You took Frank's flushed response as an answer, your hands grabbing the waist of his pants and tugging them down. To your surprise Frank wasn’t wearing any boxers which allowed his dick to spring free. You rubbed your thighs together at the sight, eagerly getting onto your knees in front of Frank. He towered over you and you couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to be railed by him. You’d find out soon enough. For now you were focused on bringing Frank some relief. Heaven knows he deserves it. You palm at Frank's dick for a bit before moving your head closer to his dick, allowing him to shove himself into your mouth. You struggle to breath, the pure size of him overwhelming. 

“Ahh, would you look at that? Taking me like a good fucking girl….”

You hummed at Frank's praise making him moan at the vibrations.

“You like that huh? Like listening to me praise you?”

You nod your head slowly keeping Frank's dick nudged deep in your mouth as you do.

“Well go on then. Show me what a good girl you are and suck me off.”

You do as you're told, moving your head up and down Franks shaft at a torturous speed. He liked it though. You could tell by the way the muscles on his stomach clenched at your movements.

“Attagirl.”

Frank's hand weaves into your hair, pushing his dick even deeper which causes you to gag lightly. Your hands make their way to Franks thighs, braceing yourself as he fucked your throat. Frank couldn’t help but watch his dick disappear into your eager mouth. He wondered,not for the first time, if this was real. If this was a dream he hoped he’d never wake up. 

Frank got lost in his pleasure, fucking into you faster and faster as he sensed his orgasm coming. He was close you could tell by how he twitched in your mouth but then, just as you were about to wrap your hands around his balls, Frank pulled out. You gasped for air you chest rising and falling rapidly as you glanced up at Frank

“What’s wrong?”

“Take your shirt off.”

You gave Frank a questioning look before doing as he asked. The second he caught a glimpse of your breasts Frank was a goner. You watched him wrap his hand around his cock before moving at a rapid speed. You didn’t understand what he wanted but then it hit you. Frank Castle wanted to cum on your tits. Wanted to mark your body as his. And you’d be lying if the thought didn’t make you fucking wet. You leaned on your palms allowing your breasts to perk up a bit more.

“Come on, Castle mark me with your cum. Let everyone know I'm yours.”

That was the last straw. Your words combined with the image of you on your knees tits perked up just for him made Frank's orgasm rip out of him.

“Ah fuckkk..”

You closed your eyes feeling Frank's seed spill against your chest and run down your body, soaking into your already damp underwear. You relished the sound of Franks moaning the thought that you were the one who caused them, filling you with pride. Your eyes snapped open when you felt a pair of hands latch onto your body. You glanced at Frank's eyes for a moment before pulling him into a steamy kiss. Frank's hands wandered around your body pulling you onto his thigh as he caressed your breasts, smearing his cum on you as he went.

“Such a good fucking girl.”

“Ah Frank!”

You gasped as Frank's lips latched onto your nipple, sucking on it harshly as you wrapped your fingers into his hair. You humped Frank's bare thighs, your need overwhelming you.

“Franky…”

“Yeah baby?”

“Need you.”

“Tell me what you need.”

“Fill me up.”

“Ah shit. Dirty little thing aren’t you?”

“Only for you Franky.”

“Oh is that so?”

Franks hands grabbed at your ass squeezing your cheeks roughly which caused you to buck against him.

“Franky pleaseeee”

“Patience. I need you to cum first. Think you can do that?”

“Uhhum but I need your help.”

“I’m right here baby. Take what you need.”

You understood what Frank was saying. You moved to straddle his hips pressing your clothed cunt against his muscular thighs. Frank guided your movements by holding onto your hips. You moaned as you found a good rhythm, your hips moving on their own. In any other circumstances you would have felt ridiculous about getting off on someone without them even touching you but the look of pure awe Frank was giving you made you realize you didn’t give a shit. You kept bucking against Frank until your legs couldn’t take it anymore.

“Frank…can’t anymore-uhu- so close.”

“Want me to help baby?”

“Please.”

God he loved the sound of your voice like this, all high and whiney for him. He could live off the sight of you all flustered and desperate, rocking against his leg like a bitch in heat. If he wanted to, he could be mean. He could let you get to your orgasm by yourself but the idea of watching you fall apart was much more appealing. So instead of torturing you Frank reached into your panties, his fingers latching onto your clit and rubbing the bundle of nerves. Two seconds later Frank's name ripped out of your chest, your cum staining his thighs as you reached your orgasm. Frank collapsed backwards pulling you on top of him as he went. The two of you stayed on the ground for a moment trying to catch your breaths. Franks massaged your scalp feeling your chest move up and down as your breathing became steady. 

“You okay darling?”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.”

Frank laughed at your words which made you smile. You looked up at Frank, your hand pulling at his beard and forcing him to look into your eyes. 

“One thing would make this perfect though.”

“Oh yeah what's that?”

“You railing the shit out of me.”

You watched as Frank's eyes darkened with lust, a smirk gracing his features. You propped yourself up laying your hands flat on Frank's chest.

“So what is it gonna be, Castle? You gonna fuck me? Or am I gonna have to take matters into my own hands?”

You punctuate your question by grabbing Frank's once again hard cock in your hand making him gasp at the feeling. In a matter of seconds Frank managed to get up, his hands wrapping around your thighs as he lifted off the ground. You let out a squeal when Frank threw you onto the bed before climbing on top of your body, his hands reaching down to rip your underwear off. You watched as Frank lined himself up to your cunt. He looked up at you with a smile on his face as he watched you gulp in anticipation.

“Careful what you wish for.”

Frank thrusted himself into you without warning, causing a groan to leave your lips as he filled you up.

“Ohhhh Frank….”

“Fuck darling-ughu- so fucking tight!”

You wrapped your legs around Frank's hips for support. Frank placed a hand against the headboard as he continued to thrust into you at a rapid speed. The bed frame creaked and groaned beneath the two of you. You were a mess of moans and mumbled words. Frank wasn't much better mumbling praises about how wet you were and how good of a girl you were being. Frank had never heard you curse before today but it didn’t surprise him to find that you had a dirty mouth on you. Especially when he started toying with your clit. His dick pulsated against your walls as they clamped down on him. One expert move of his fingers had you seeing stars, your mouth slackening as you moaned out his name.

“That it baby… that's it”

“Oh Frank, don't stop!”

He had no plan on stopping. In fact he’d keep you here all day if you’d let him. He’d fuck you in every position he could. He’d dine of your body for the rest of his days. He’d suffocate inside your thighs if that's what you’d want. Anything to keep you here with him. Anything to hear those pretty noises you made. He was close. You noticed the way his thrusts were getting more and more of tempo as his legs started to burn from the rapid movements he’d been making. Frank tried to pull out of you, fully prepared to cum on your stomach but you stopped him by pushing your heels into his ass. He looked into your eyes, his hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes were almost rolling back into his head but he managed to speak.

“Gotta let me pull out baby.”

“I want you to fill me up Franky. Remember?”

“Yeah but we didn’t use a condom.”

“Don’t need to. I’m on the pill. It’s okay, baby fill me up. Mark me with your cum.”

That right there did it for him. Before he could even respond, Frank's orgasm arrived, his hips moving frantically as he filled you up to the brim with his seed. Once he was done Frank collapsed beside you, careful not to squish you with his body. You threw your arm over Frank's chest snuggling into him as he came down from his high. You stretched your neck up leaving a kiss on Frank's cheek before laying your head back down.

“Thank you.”

“For the head?”

Frank let out a laugh. Always a jokester you were.

“For that too. But I meant for reaching out. For tolerating my shit. And for not running away.”

“I’d never run from you Frank.”

Frank placed a kiss on your forehead, his hands making soothing circles against your back.

“Hey Frank?”

“Yeah doll?”

“Can we make this a part of our daily routine?”

Frank's hand found his way to your chin raising your face so you were looking at him.

“I think we can fit it in the schedule.”

You smiled against Frank's lips as he kissed you tenderly. 

Thank heavens for that extra serving of spaghetti and meatballs.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Can you do more of platonic yandere Stein from soul eater? I think the dynamic you made between him and reader is absolutely hilarious. I can just imagine reader finding out shit from their childhood that was NOT normal at all bc their dad's fucking insane and they just go "welp." with a shrug

Thank you thank you! I loved it a lot too! 🖤🖤🖤

Yandere Father Stein 

Well what can you do 

You already have a lock and key on your chest what worse is there?! 

It might be the tracker he seems to have on you 

Or it might be the vague memory of your birth mother’s surgical demise

Or maybe it’s the way when you fight, he’s somehow perfectly in sync with you

Nothing should surprise you anymore

Only vaguely relating to Maka when you both speak of  your fathers’ stupidity 

“Yeah, he’d just run off to sleaze with whatever woman he could get his hands on. It was so disgusting.”

“My dad is the same. Always sneaking off with whatever poor pet I happened to come across. The absolute creep.”

“...”

“....”

“....Uhm what did he do with the animals?”

“Usually dissected them or experimented with their reflexive muscles.”

“...oh….”

“It's not that bad he let me keep the puppy, y’know after he tweaked it a bit.”

“Right.”

Your friends are all very worried about you 

but what can they do against the greatest meiester of all time

The only one who’s willing to do anything against him is Death’s son

Its a match made of nightmares…..for Stein

This kid is destined to become a being of great power 

And unfortunately, you two always find each other despite Stein’s meddling

“How come I knew you two would be in here?”

“Oh, my Death!? Can’t you leave us alone, for an hour or two geez!”

“Y-y-y-y-your sh-sh-sh-shirt is–”

“Awfully bold of you to touch them in front of me.”

“S-s-s-s-s–s-s-sorry, sir!”

“Don’t apologize, Kid, you don’t have to move your hands at all. Keep them right there!”

Stein himself has said he’s never felt love nor can experience it

And he will say it again and again 

All while nervously turning the screw on his head while he watches you go off with your friends

He doesn’t feel love or compassion

Only madness and insanity 

That’s why he implanted the connected tracker into his body

That’s why he has such a problem with your romantic exploits

That’s why he demands to be the one to wind your crank 

He’s your father

You are his 

And that’s all you both need

[klseay]

╰┈☆ 𝐹𝑙𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐿𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 | 𝐿𝑒𝑎ℎ 𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑚𝑠𝑜𝑛 ☆┈╯

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑎𝑙𝑐𝑜ℎ𝑜𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, (𝐴𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑦?), 𝑣𝑢𝑙𝑔𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒, 𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑣𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑡.

𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝐶𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 2𝑘

𝐿𝑒𝑎ℎ'𝑠 𝑝𝑜𝑣

Barcelona, july the 16th. Damp, thick air filled my lungs with each inhale consumed. On no occasion before had I ever experienced this extreme feeling of disraught, then again, how could I ever feel anything else right now.

Months had passed, in all fairness nearly a year had gone by since my whole world turned black and white. To walk in on your girlfriend fucking another chick, roses in hand, I wouldn't wish on even the most cruel of people.

It's carved into my mind, everytime I close my eyes it's all that's shown to me, like a nightmare that keeps coming back to me. I have moved on, but it seems as if no matter how big my drive was to find someone new, I couldn't find that feeling.

It wasn't the fact that I found them unattractive, all of them were gorgeous, so how is it that I feel nothing? That's something I've been questioning for as long as I can remember, it's almost like the ability of feeling something had gone lost on me.

The universe must have been listening close to the race track of thoughts that drove laps around in my head, interfering immediately, because there it was, again.

Fireworks set off in my stomach, flowers started to grow out of my organs tickling the skin from inside. My eyes fixated on the presence sitting down on the wooden barstool, just inches away from myself.

It felt as if my heart was seconds from bursting out of place and splatter onto the floor beneath, suddenly it was no longer my mind racing laps lightning fast, instead the focus had shifted to my heart.

I felt something.

Her hair was slicked back in a neat bun that sat perfectly on the back of her head, shining and glistening like thousans of bright stars in the night sky.

A tight, short, silky mahagony dress hugged her curves delicately, making my mouth dry out in the blink of an eye. Taking her in felt like a breeze of fresh air, odd, considering the thick and heavy air in the club.

This girl was remarkably majestic, her aura seeped off her with each move, every twitch made gold lightning stab through her surroundings.

The moment her piercing orbs landed on my gold tanned face I immediately fell right into her captivating magnetism. My crispy lips parted slightly, quiet, soft puffs of air finding the escape route through my lips.

Nevertheless there was no chance I would ever manage to utter even a half decent thing to say, therefore I didn't. I stayed quiet while fiddling with the half empty beer bottle, stood on the blank bar table infront of me.

"You good?"

Her sleek voice had an immediate effect on me, as my heart once again started beating rapidly against the ribcage infront of it.

"Hm? Yeah, all good, Why?" With no clue how, I succesfully put together a decent response.

"You look a little distant, that's all.."

My neck contracted as I gulped harshly.

"Rough night?" She continued, taking a swig of her newly delivered beverage.

"Rough year" I exclaimed, a sarcastic chuckle leaving my lips just the moment after.

"I'm sorry"

Her pityfull observation lingered all over my face, making me sit up straighter, my body being pressed on auto pilot.

"Don't be, it's fine, really. Just thinking a lot"

The silence slowly creeped up on us, as much as it wasn't a pleasant one it would be a lie to call it uncomfortable or akward. By any means it really wasn't, and somehow that scared me a lot.

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑜𝑣

"I know I'm a total stranger but uhm... if you want to talk about it, I'm willing to listen" you spoke, choosing your words with care, not very keen on trigger any bad memories.

The blonde stranger lifted her slender hand to rub her forehead, a quiet sigh leaving her lips, that you somehow managed to hear over the pounding music.

"I.. I'm not so good at talking about it"

You catched your bottom lip between your teeth, on one hand, the blonde intrigued you to an uncomfortable degree. On the other, pressuring her to speak about something she might not be ready for or want to felt unpleasingly inappropriate.

With no clue on how to proceed the only resonable option was to keep quiet, something you weren't necessarily a talent at, it always bit your arse in the end.

"so uh, what's your name?"

The sound of the blonde's voice broke you out of whatever trance you accidentally had entered. It took you a moment before finding your voice again, able to respond you did just that.

"Y/n, you?"

"Leah" Her voice had a rough edge to it, you weren't sure if it was because of the alcohol, no matter though, it was extremely attractive. Making your insides flutter at an instant when she spoke.

"That's a really pretty name..."

"Thank you love.." not that it probably had meant anything, but the sound of her calling you love in that slightly raspy voice made all kind of things to your body, heat spreading throughout it.

"I like your name too... and that dress" she replied as her she zeroed in on your dress that hugged your form perfectly. A small smile of approval tugged on the corner of her lips, one that you certainly did not fail to notice.

"Oh, uhm, thanks... you look fantastic" you frantically responded, taking in her appearance, a faint pink blush spreadin on your cheeks. The simple look of her white t-shirt, light blue jorts and golden jelwery scattered across made your head spin, in the best way ever possible.

She chuckled smugly at your oogling, shaking her head, less then ten minutes had gone by and she already felt like a smitten teenager.

"You're giving me too much credit for something hastily put together" a smile broke out on her face, it seemed as if it was contagious as you couldn't hold back a smile of yourself spreading on your lips.

"Well.. no matter what I think, you pull it off real great" one single up and down look from you was enough to make the blonde's heart flutter in her chest.

𝐿𝑒𝑎ℎ'𝑠 𝑝𝑜𝑣

I finally had found what I've spent so long looking for, longing for, it was right in front of me. This exact feeling. But it didn't feel right, it felt shamfully wrong, the only thing I could feel currently was pure fear in my veins.

My head was a mess, like a hurricane that created chaos in my mind, tangling every thread of things I knew together. Dissapointment run through my blood, this was supposed to be my happy moment, a sign that I finally had let her go.

That I had moved on.

It wasn't, I was so sure that I had let her go, had I not? My doubts seemed to have been visible enough for the girl next to me to notice and act up.

"Leah? Are you okay?"

Lifting my head to meet her gaze was a miserable mistake, her innocent, worried eyes stared deep into mine. I wanted to lie. Run off, flee from it all, like I always did.

"I don't know"

But I didn't, not that I was sure I'd ever figure what made me stay, I still did stay. My hands clammed together in my lap and all of sudden I felt out of breath, the air I was breathing no longer reaching my lungs.

"I uhm..." I tried to speak, waving my hands frantically trying to not blow into full panic.

"Steady love, come on, let's go outside" she spoke every so gently, keeping a steady hand on the small of my back as she lead me through the sea of sweaty and drunk people. The smell of alcohol made the nausea inside bubble in my chest, I had to get out.

She guided me outside, helping me to sit down on some stairs nearby, the cold concrete underneath my bare thighs felt somewhat grounding. I could feel her presence next to me, her heat radiating off her body, our knees touching.

"You're alright" she tried to sooth me by saying, while rubbing circles with her hand over my back.

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, neither of us speaking up, simply just taking in the moment aswell as the chilly air surrounding us.

"Sorry..."

Was the first word I'd spoken in about ten minutes, my voice was shallow and cracking just the bit due to my fast paced breaths.

"Don't apologize, it's okay, promise. I'm more worried about you tight now, are you really okay?" her silky voice seemed to never fail on making that feeling inside of me come alive, but it also awoken a sense of comfort. Another feeling that I hadn't felt in a very long time.

What was she doing to me?

I winced sligtly at the question, the unfamiliar feeling making me want to empty my stomach on it's remains. "I guess not... it's just, I don't... uhm, fuck"

Nothing felt right in the terms of explaining what actually went on inside of me, how could it when I had no idea myself?

"I've been searching for so long to feel something, affection wise I mean. When you walked in I... I guess that feeling showed up again. The one I have been looking for. I started to think I was incapable to feel it ever again, always imagined it as a turning point in my life, now it happened. I should be happy, I should feel good, but everything is just overshadowed by..."

"Fear?" she broke me off, tilting her head slightly to observ me carefully.

I nodded slowly, my own eyes stuck on the ground.

"It's scary isn't it? To be wanting something for so long, then comes the day when you have it and it's not at all what you imagined it to be. or what you wished for it to be."

"Kind of sucks" I agreed with her, my fingers fiddling in my lap as i sulked down into the cold concrete.

"How about you explain the feeling to me, try to not think about the scary part of it all. Think of what it felt like before that"

I could feel my forehead tense up as I recalled the feeling, soft wrinkles showing up as a result to my expression.

"It was uhm, beautiful, it was... everything I've ever wanted. I don't think I have ever felt so alive in my entire life, it's like running through a field of flowers in the summer. A shot of expresso, breath of fresh air, like being woken out of a trance."

I couldn't seem to help but smile at the thought of the feeling, a giddy chuckle left my lips. "Made me feel like a little kid being taken care of"

Looking over to my left I'm met with her looking at me adoringly, a sheepish smile on her own lips while her hand had stilled on my back.

"Then how come it feels so scary?"

I pressed my lips together, I really should've seen this question coming.

"Because you're a stranger, I could feel something by all means. But that doesn't mean you do, or that you'd feel anything. Let alone want what I'm looking for you know? It's scary because everyone has different intentions and... I just don't want to get hurt again."

And so an involuntary sigh left my mouth.

"That's fair, but how would you know if you don't take the risk? How would anybody know? Sometimes the only way to reach your goal is to walk straigh through the fire, and I suppose the risk of getting burned is what's bothering you."

I nodded at her words, she had hit the nail on the head, but I couldn't afford another heartbreak. Never again would I ever put myself in a situation like that, no one could possibly be worth taking the risk of being destroyed.

Atleast that's what I tried to tell myself, or what I would like to tell myself. Yet, something inside of me told me a total diffrent story on what it was worth.

"I guess so, but it doesn't make it any less scary"

"No it doesn't" her hand took up rubbing my back soothingly again. The action making me unconsciously lean into her side, my head coming to rest on her shoulder as I let my eyes slowly flutter close.

Suddenly it hit me, as if I'd been struck by lightning. She had asked me if I was alright the very first thing she did. She then proceeded to lead me outside to console me. Now here she was comforting me without any doubt.

She felt worth the risk of being destroyed again, I was willing to walk straight through the fire.

For her.

"Thank you... for you know. Everything." I muttered out, feeling oddly at peace in this very moment.

"Of course, I was willing to take the risk"

Her words sent shivers down my spine, making my eyes fill up with the salty, watery substance.

"Then I'm willing to risk it too"

There will be no part 2, I really struggled on this one so I find it difficult to think I'd continue it. Feel free to leave a like and and a follow if you'd like, aswell as some feedback!

[otakubimbo]

DRINKS & NIGHTMARES Logan Howlett (Worse Logan) x AFAB Mutant Reader !

Slight Angst. SLOW Burn. Minors DNI!

Of course on one of your worst days you leave your keys at your friends place but luckily your friend Wade has a spare. Lucky you..

next

You clumsily walk up the stairs of your apartment complex, fumbling around in your purse for your keys.

Shit.

Even in your drunken state, you realize you left your keys at your friend's house because, of course, you were not going to drive under the influence. You were too responsible for your own good because your house keys were on your car keys. A groan of frustration comes out of your mouth as you lay your head on your front door as the world spins around you. Luckily for you, even in your barely lucid state, you remember that you are most annoying friend Wade has a spare key to your apartment since unfortunately, you are a regular at losing your keys. With that thought in your head, you stumble your way to Wades apartment door, banging on it ever so slightly while yelling his name.

As the door finally opens after you incessant banging, you are amid calling out Wades name again when you realize it is not in fact Wade or his other roommate Blind Al that opened the door to your disheveled shelf. What greeted you instead was an adonis of a man, basically sex on legs in your current mind's eye. He looked familiar but in your drunken state you couldn’t remember where from.

“Oh uhm.” You begin stumbling back to make sure you’re at the correct apartment, as you’re about to fall the sexy stranger grabs you by the waist keeping you stable. As you quickly apologize for the possible in convenience, you take a step back after he gets you stable. “I really am so sorry; I could have sworn I came to my friend Wades apartment.”

You’re doing your best to keep your balance without the walking sex’s help, “Yeah, the weirdo lives here. What did you need him for” the sexy man asks you as you’re swaying in front of him, he looks at you curiously with a raised eyebrow as you start giggling glad that you in fact didn’t go to the wrong house.

“oh, okay good, good yeah, Wade has a key to my place, and I left my keys and now I’m locked out and I need to get in” You slur, as your high heels surprisingly keep you up right as you’re still swaying in front of this stranger who opened Wades door.

“He has a key to your place?” The stranger asks with an eyebrow raised. He looked at you with suspicion.

“Well yes, for emergencies. We are besties. I mean he’s a total nut job and gets on my ever-lasting nerves but that’s still my bestie” You had hoped that explanation would allow you into the place to locate your key so you could go back to your own apartment, but the brick wall of a stranger doesn’t seem to be budging. He actually looked pretty amused at your state, to your annoyance.

“Can you just move? I’m trying to go home.” You ask, trying to keep a smile on your face attempting to keep things civil. You didn’t want to hurt him or cause a scene.

“No” He crosses his arms to stand between you and your possible way home.

You look at him dumbfounded, “Seriously”

He just smirks at you, unmoving from his position in front of your only pathway to finding your keys and achieving a good night's rest. You thought for a second, yes, you were a mutant and you didn’t want to hurt a civilian, but he wouldn’t listen to reason, and you were too drunk to think of more reason so if you just slightly did something to move him out your way that wouldn’t be wrong right? If you just simply condensed the matter in front of him and gave it a slight shove, all he would do is just fall over, right? You’ve already justified it towards yourself as you being slightly condensing the matter in front of him and going to give him just a slight shove.

The man doesn’t even budge as you push him, which immediately makes your face scrunch in annoyance. Any other man would have been on the ground from that but not this one.

“Oh sweetheart, you’re going to have to push me a lot harder than that to get me out of your way” His obnoxious smirk appeared on his face again as his eyes lit up at your actions. You almost had half the mind to crush his head into dust before you felt a hefty arm drape around your shoulders.

“Angel baby what are you doing here? You lost your keys again? You trying to fuck my man, or kill him? Either way let me join” Wade’s voice comes from your side and your hands automatically relax as you lean your head onto his shoulder.

“I’m drunk and I want to go home.” You whine shutting your eyes knowing that you didn’t have to carry your own weight anymore, relying directly on Wade.

“Yeah, I can tell, sugar baby, you smell like Wolfie over here and a bar. How much have you had to drink tonight? Don’t tell me that loser of a boyfriend you have found out about our secret love affair.” Wade says as he brings you into his apartment, the sexy stranger luckily finally moving out of the way.

“Funny thing is,” You being as he sets you down gently on his couch, taking your heels off for you, “He actually thought I was cheating on him with you, so he fucked my best friend.” You finish as you start laughing, which sounds similar to a sob, but no tears escape your eyes.

“Oh, do you want me to go cut his dick off?” Wade asks in a joking but completely serious manner.

“Yes but no.” You state as you throw a hand over your head further sinking into the couch, “I need my keys so I can go home. I left my keys at Cats house.”

“Oh you went out with Cat, I ‘m surprised your liver hasn’t exploded and she didn’t’ knife that so called best friend of yours.” Wade comments as he starts covering you with a blanket.

“no no no no no, I’m not staying here, I need to go home and do my skincare routine and all that other stuff. I’m not sleeping in this dress” You grumble as you force yourself to sit up, the room spinning around you.

“I’m sorry Adam Eve, if you go and choke on your own vomit and die at your place, I don’t think Blind Al will forgive me. And plus, Vanessa bought all your skincare favorites and put it in the extra bathroom.” He says attempting to convince you to stay, he was worried about you, you weren’t the type to get this kind of drunk.

“Oh bless her, please make up with her because shes the best. Okay okay I’ll stay and let me just go fix my face and gimme something to wear cause yeah.” You say as you stumble up from the couch, the dress that could be considered a shirt by how short it was riding up as you attempt to pull it down.

“It looks like you were trying to become someone’s fourth baby mother with that outfit, good thing you came here instead, and you can be my first one.”

“Wade stop, I’m tired, move before I move you.” You say as you stumble past him, slightly pushing on his chest with no real force, even in your drunken stupor you know where you’re going. You’ve always usually stayed in their ‘guest’ room, and you guessed this time would be no different. As you walked into your usual domain, you didn’t notice the other presence that was in the room as you make your way to the bathroom. Sure enough, your skincare things were in there along with a few other things that you paid no mention to in the state that you were in. While you did your skin care you couldn’t even register the commotion that was going out outside of the extra bedroom door.

Logan was not expecting to hear a woman’s voice calling out Wades name, so late in the night. It actually irritated the Wolverine until he actually opened the door and there YOU were stumbling into him in a dress that barely could be considered that. As he grabbed you by your waist to keep you balanced, he could feel the warmth of your body against him taking in a whiff of your scent. Oh you smelt intoxicating and looked even more so. You were slight frazzled; your edges were sweated out and your hair frizzy. The mascara you had on was completely smudged from what exactly he couldn’t tell but he knew he had never seen anyone so beautiful before.

He listens to you cutely ramble about looking for Wade, which does tick him off a bit because why would someone like you be looking for someone like Wade and then you giggle. You are fucking giggling, and it was cute, it was so cute. But it wasn’t until you shoved him with your mutation that the cocky smirk he had turned into an actual smile. Well that was until Wade came home, slinging an arm around your shoulder that pulled him back into reality. Wade could practically see the hearts in Logan’s eyes as he looked at you

Wade lets you in the house and Logan couldn’t help himself but listen to the conversation the two of you had. He couldn’t believe his ears at what idiot would cheat on you, especially an idiot who actually thought you were sleeping with Wade. WADE. But as he watched you make your way to the room that he was currently occupying and the look on Wades face as he watched you, there had to at least be something there, right?

“So what’s your story with her?” Logan uncharacteristically asks, attempting to sound as uncaring as possible as he cracked open another beer.

“Ah my little ex x-man, she’s a little rough around the edges but that woman’s got a heart of gold” Wade replied as a small smile graces his features. So you used to be an x man? He doesn’t remember you from his timeline and there’s no way he wouldn’t have remembered you. “She’s picked me up from a lot of downs, takes care of me like I’m her kid or something” Wade speaks so fondly, so genuinely. “When Vanessa first left me, she would come over everyday to bring me breakfast lunch and dinner, making sure I ate and didn’t completely waste away. She did call me a pussy bitch every time but that’s just her way of showing she cares. Kind of like you.”

Logan scoffs at this, “not like me at all cause I don’t care”

Wade rolls his eyes exaggeratedly, clapping his hands together “anyways im gonna need to check on Cat and get the lil drunk fairy her things.”

“Not gonna go rip that guys dick off?” Logan’s nonchalant attitude slightly slipping.

“No, what the Angel Beat wants, she gets. Make sure she doesn’t die while I’m gone. Like I said Blind Al would be so pissed, she loves Sunday dinner.” Wade makes his leave, as Logan just grunts at his behavior.

Once the nuance was gone, Logan sat back relaxing on the couch, resigned that it would be his bed for the night. He’s slept in worse places; it would be fine. That all was until he heard you whimpering from his room, he could hear your heart rate picking up, something was wrong. He gets up from his position, going to knock on the door softly asking if you were okay. When he doesn’t get a response but continues to sense your desperation, smell your fear he just burst through the door. The sudden sound and movement, forces you out of the nightmare you can’t stop reliving. Your eyes are blown wide, as you’re sweating and panting. You frantically look around, apologizing and making sure you didn’t denigrate anything in your unconscious state.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t” you start to question as you try to get your breathing regulated, “everything is in one piece, yeah?”

When your eyes finally find Logan’s, they looked sad but understanding. That wasn’t the look you were expecting, and it almost broke the remainder of stability you had left.

“Yeah everything’s fine. We are fine, you’re fine” Logan’s voice coming out as reassuring as possible, slowly making his way towards you. You looked like a deer in the headlights, a rabbit staring into the barrel of a gun, he knew that look well, he’s worn that look. His body was moving before his mind as he gets into bed pulling you into him, stroking your face trying to relax you.

You’re still tense in his arms as he has you cradled into his chest. “Everyone’s okay, you’re okay.” He reassured you until you’re repeating the words back to him

“Everyone’s okay; I’m okay” you repeat for a second time, melting into his warmth burying yourself deeper into the comfort of his chest. If you were anymore coherent and not off the adrenaline of another nightmare you may be considered that it was weird that you were seeking such comfort in a stranger and that he was so easily able to comfort you.But that was a problem thought for tomorrow, as for tonight you were going to sink into the comfort of this stranger, relishing in a feeling of safety and security that you haven’t felt in years.

In the morning, the regret immediately sinks in as you wake up with a groan. You may haven’t gotten the best sleep you’ve ever had but the pillow you had been holding onto so tightly, started moving and that’s when you realize that it wasn’t a pillow but a well built chest you were cuddled up to. Also, that it wasn’t your weighted blanket from your apartment keeping you grounded but an arm, a warm comforting arm that you didn’t know who it belonged to. As slowly and gently as possible you slip out of the tight hold he had you in, not even bothering to grab any of your things from the bathroom as you make a quick escape out of the bedroom.

The last thing you wanted to hear was the first thing you heard as you gently closed the door behind you, “well good morning cupcake. I didn’t know you were one to dine and dash”

You groan, “I really wish those experiments would have gotten your vocal cords”

“That’s not a kind way to treat your own personal Cupid!” Wade gasps loudly as you try to shush him in hopes of not waking up the man you just woke up too.

“It wasn’t even like that.” You roll your eyes as you take a seat on the couch, “I had another nightmare”

“So he fucked the worry out of you?”

“No! For fucks sake. He just comforted me and…… we cuddled. That’s it, that’s all. “

“I knew Wolvie was a cuddler but that doesn’t explain why you’re in his clothes doll face” Wade points out as you look down at your attire expecting to see one of his shirts but nope you were in a hockey jersey, you could feel your face heating up in embarrassment. Wade was never going to let you live this down, ever.

“I just grabbed what you had in the drawers, you didn’t tell me anyone was staying work you!” You begin and then you start to process everything that he said , I knew wolvie was a cuddled,. Oh no, he couldn’t have meant The Wolverine, not the Wolverine that he brought back to this universe, not the Wolverine that you used to have the hugest crush on well of Course not exactly that one but close enough though right?

Wade could see the gears turning in your head as you put two and two together, when you look at him he’s grinning like a lunatic at you realizing. You’re surprised he isn’t in fear of his life because you were going kill him.

“I’m going to kill you” you start as you being to stalk over him, he could feel your power surging even at the distance between the two of you. His hands immediately go up in surrender as he tries to verbally defend himself.

“Wait wait wait, look look” he begins as he takes our your keys, your actual keys not your spare “I went and got your keys and made sure Cat was okay. Have mercy” He pleads as he slides your keys over to you, grabbing them with a smile.

“Thank you wade, I’ll make this as quick as possible then” you grin devilishly at him as you begin to condense the matter around his throat basically choking him. Before things could get any further, Logan walks out grumbling about what the hell the noise was about. As your graze falls upon the shirtless mutant you get flustered all over again thinking about how that was the chest you were using as a pillow all night.

You let go of Wade, leaving just with the words “I gotta go” escaping from your mouth as you ignore Wades gasping and The wolverines stares as your back as he watches you leave in HIS shirt, getting a peak under it as your storming out realizing that you didn’t have any panties on underneath.

You were definitely something. Something interesting.

It was only a few hours after you left that another knock came at the door that Logan answered again, just to fine his jersey nearly folded on top of a lunch box with a note that read:

Tell anyone about last night and you’re dead <3 y/n

Logan smiled to himself as he took a bite of the food you made, fucking delicious, calling out to Wade asking him when that dumb next Sunday dinner was.

[natasha-in-space]

Uhm... Thinking about sitting on Unknown's lap today (original, I know) and how this one simple action can reflect on your relationship with him as a whole.

The initial experience is very awkward. Uncomfortable. Weird. For you both, in fact. Of course, you wouldn't know that. Unknown would rather choke on his own words and die than acknowledge that you are causing him to feel out of place. He needs to be in control... And he will go above and beyond to keep that control, even if it makes things more difficult for him in the long run.

He is keeping you on his lap because he hasn't got a setup for you yet. He never intended to bring you here, after all. Not beyond fantasizing about being the cause of your laughter or telling you about his favorite ice cream flavor. He doesn't know why he thought of such stupid things while researching your routine. In any case, it was pointless. The effort he put in was not worth it. All because you made the choice to do what he hates the most.

Lie to his face.

He'll get you for that later, of course. But he keeps you where he can see you for the time being. He could have let you sit on the cold floor, but he didn't. Unknown isn't willing to admit to himself that the thought of letting you sit there reminds him too much of the days spent curled up on the floor of his childhood home.

You have just arrived here, and you are already causing trouble just by being in the same space as him. Causing his thoughts to become erratic when he has so many tasks to complete.

You both look stiff as hell. Your aim is to maintain as much distance between you as possible, mostly for the sake of decency. Unknown allows you to do as you please. He is unaware of how people cuddle, anyway. He is utterly clueless about where to put his hands or what angle to have his head in order to view all that he requires to see on the monitors. Your body is feeling cold and tense. But both of you are silent.

It persists like this for a few days.

His first attempt to pull you close to his chest occurs on impulse. A sudden alert went out, and he had to act quickly to immediately assess the issues. So, he yanked you close, placing his head right on your shoulder, as his nose scrunched up in displeasure.

Only, he stays put even after the problem is resolved. You do the same. Your back feels more relaxed since you don't have to keep your posture upright all the time, and receiving extra warmth from his chest pressed up against your back is a wonderful gift, to say the least. And Unknown finds himself liking the feeling of your body pressing up against his, more than he would like to admit.

It feels soft. And warm. And grounding. He would usually only feel desperate for something like that during short periods of distress when the nightmares are plaguing his mind again. But now, it's very much a reality.

He gets a bit grabby after that. He truly doesn't have any ulterior motives with his actions, but it's only natural for you to get rather uncomfortable when he suddenly kneads at your upper thigh or squishes your sides. Unknown has no clue about what is acceptable or not according to society's standards. And, in his mind, he's only using you as a living stress relief or a stimming toy. Without having a grasp of the concepts, of course.

In fact, if you were to express your discomfort, he would likely offer a muffled apology. He sure doesn't like it when other people touch him without his permission. In a way, he'll understand if you explain why you don't like him doing that.

You are a mystery to him, just as he is to you.

It's only when you two start opening up to each other as people that your working arrangements start to shift. You become more comfortable settling into a relaxed position against him, and Unknown no longer sits stiff as a wooden board, nor does he grab at you like a plush toy or something. You two begin conversing with each other as you go about your duties. Making jokes. Mostly with you doing the jokes and Unknown simply raising a confused eyebrow at you.

You start seeing him as more than just some weird guy who snatched you away into some god-forsaken place, and he starts seeing you as a genuine companion to share his time and thoughts with.

Unknown becomes more relaxed, his shoulders slumped as he rests his chin on the top of your head or on your shoulder, depending on his mood and your height. He starts trying out different positions, and at times you provide him with small hints on where to put his hands, which he actually listens to. He finds that having one arm wrapped snuggly around your middle is one of the most calming things ever, even if his workflow slows a little due to him only typing with one hand. And you find that you can always fiddle with his hair once you feel him get tense or frustrated when something doesn't go his way. One time, he even got so lost in the moment that he hummed and leaned his head into your touch like an affectionate cat begging for pets.

You have never commented on it.

Unknown never knew how touch-starved he was until he had you. The feeling of being touched was pleasant. And it was pleasant to touch someone in return. Your touches were not painful, nor were they conditional. He never had such affection before. He becomes rather hungry for it.

This is why he snarles and tells the unlucky believer who finally brought you a new chair to fuck right off. Rather rudely. Not like he cared.

And once your relationship progresses and becomes romantic, the stiffness and awkwardness of your initial impression feels like a distant dream. Unknown grows bold in his affection for you. Casually peppering the side of your neck with light kisses as he scrolls through the recent log, randomly biting down on your shoulder for... no particular reason at all (is he a cat or something?), nuzzling into your hair with a frustrated huff when things don't go his way.

It's cute. But also a bit annoying. You find yourself working even less effectively than you did when you were just starting out. It's hard to do any work when your boss is actively nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck to keep himself awake. But he doesn't care. It seems that your 'usefulness' is not as important to him as he said.

Your company is more than enough.

[badasgirlfriend]

Love On The Down Low - Bada Lee Social Media AU - 031

pairings: bada lee x zhong lei

prev - masterlist - next

TW: grooming

a/n: would've could've should've is the song she wrote </3

taglist: { @1luvkarina , @hallotherenicetomeetyou @fillthwvoid , @kdacase @prilux @jjlovesbada @waveartistry , @dkluvs , @pinksults, @tikitsune , @b1ackbunny , @adaiasafira, @froufrousnowman , @99ycs, @badaslali , @italiekim , @saturnushasmyback , @heedoya @fairiechuu @itsbokutosjuicyass , @tnu-ree @jesuschrist2006 @asweetcollide , @ssivinee , @downbadforbada , @starryelling , @pupbistro , @dexthzone , @smoooore }

Numbness

That's what Bada had been feeling ever since she got that message. There were no tears or screams, just silent suffering. Her eyes were dry and she felt hollow inside. She was staring at her blue notebook she got with a pen in her hands

'Whatever you think, sorry but I don't give a fucking shit'

But mostly, she was mad.

She felt a burning anger within her. She was mad at the people who didn't believe her and continued to throw so many words at her without hearing her first

'Sorry, I don't give a fuck that your life is medicore'

She was angry at the company she basically brought back from failure.

'That you screwed up and are unable to leave the shithole'

She was mad at that girl who, for no reason, decided to destroy everything she has worked for. Playing the victim while Bada is the actual victim

'For you to think that my success is related to your failure"

Bada felt a growing sense of dread and anxiety. She had a feeling that this story would end badly for her, and she didn't like where it was headed.

Trapped in a nightmare with no way out

"Your delusion is top-notch fuck it"

Her eyes remained glued to paper that was filled with lyrics. Her attention was focused on the song she was working on, not even glancing at the girl who just entered the studio. She sighed and scribbled the mistake she had accidentally made, for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Bada heard the chair next to her being pulled out, but she didn't look her way. Lei remained silent as well, not making a sound.

Lei stared at her, Bada's hood was up, hiding her face perfectly. She moved her eyes to read what she was writing. She cracked a smile, happy to see Bada get her motive back.

She wanted to say something, but everything that was on her mind felt embarrassing. Lei wasn't used to having this problem with anyone else. In fact, she was always the one striking up a conversation, you can never keep her mouth shut. But ever since she spent all those nights thinking about the butterflies she gets everytime she hangs out with Bada, something changed

Oh she's so fucked

"What's worse?" Bada spoke up, and Lei's eyes immediately darted towards her

"Being wanted but not loved, or loved but not wanted?"

"Uhm depends in what situation you put it" the shorter girl answered "But for me, I prefer a situation where both love and want are mutual"

Bada only nodded, satisfied with her answer. "Same" she muttered and closed the notebook. She then pulled her hood down, and tried to fix her messy hair

Lei felt sorry for the girl. Her eyes felt dead, and her eyebags were only getting worse day by day. Compared to when she first came and now, she lost so much weight too

"Let's celebrate" Bada bent down down and took out a small convenience store white cake from from the mini fridge.

Lei eyed her suspiciously taking a sip of water "What is this for?"

"For me getting kicked out of my group"

The chinese girl almost choked on her water "what- you got kicked?" she asked in disbelief, she didn't think it would come at this point

Bada's head whipped around in the blink of an eye "N- no oh my god, I said it wrong. Maybe I'll get kicked, I don't know they're thinking about it. If they can't win against the girl then yes"

"Well fuck your CEO and manager" Lei muttered, throwing her bottle on the floor in a fit of rage. "This whole situation should've ended months ago. That company is so greedy and corrupt, just hungry for more attention and money"

Bada couldn't help but grin as Lei continued to angrily ramble and curse everyone. It was oddly adorable how she would grab the hem of her shirt every time she was mad and play with it. Bada also noticed the way her heart began beating abnormally, and she couldn't help but feel a tug of affection for this girl. She'll ignore it for now

It will go away

"It's okay. We'll see how it goes" Bada replied "We'll see what happens" She passed a fork to Lei, and they began eating small bites of cake without even bothering to cut it.

"You didn't tell me you were a YG trainee."

Lei shivered at the mention of YG, her mind going back to those haunting memories of her time as a trainee. The voices of the other girls and stagf constantly putting her down, the pressure of being perfect, the abuse and neglect, most importantly him

"Yeah" Lei's mouth suddenly went dry at the thought. " How do you know?"

"I saw your 'YG songs' file" Bada said

"Oh, should've changed the name" she uttered "I was for five years then I left"

"I don't blame you" Bada sympathized. "It's a good thing that you left. They're known for keeping trainees forever without ever making their debut."

"It's not because of that" Lei sighed, avoiding eye contact and looking towards the computer. "I was forced to leave. They forced me to go, and there wasn't much I could do about it. It's a long story"

Lei's cheeks reddened when she felt Bada's hand grab hers.

"We have time" Bada said, reassuring her.

2016

Lei's whole body was shaking, and tears would run down her cheeks. She was trying to hard dance perfectly, but she simply couldn't anymore. The pressure was taking a toll on her, and she couldn't keep up no matter how hard she tried.

"Hey are you alright?" a voice said behind her. She wiped the tears from her face quickly, her eyes still red

She turned around to face the person, and her eyes widened as she saw who it was. It only took a split second for her to recognize him as her senior, she was too embarrassed to look him in the eye. Instead, she bowed and kept her head dangling low "Y-yes Im fine thank you"

He smiled softly at her and laughed. "It's obvious you're not, here take my water bottle."

"It's unnecessary really," she was about to deny his offer, but his playful glare won her over. "Thank you."

"If anyone's giving you a hard time, just tell me. I'll have a talk with them," he said with a lighthearted tone. He winked at her, and Lei blushed hard "How old are you anyway?"

Lei cleared her throat and replied "15"

He smiled at her amused "Really?" He eyed her up and down smirking "You look much older"

If only she knew..

~

"I was 15, and he was 26" Lei muttered, their chairs now touching. Lei rested her head on Bada's shoulder and closed her eyes, Bada caressing her hand

"I was young and dumb" she continued "and he was older and manipulative. He took advantage of my age and innocence to mold me into what he wanted me to be."

Bada's nails dug into the chair, and her grip tightened. She clenched her jaw so harshly that she could feel the tension in her jaw muscles "Who's that man"

Lei sighed "The famous Kim Jihoon, Korea's pride, funny title if they only knew"

This hit Bada like a brick. Suddenly, all the rumors she had heard among some trainees made more sense. Bada had met him many times, and he had always been nice, but there was always this weird feeling about him. It was like something was off and not quite right.

"At first, he started buying me drinks and snacks during practice. Then it turned more serious he began gifting me jewelry. Months went by and we started dating. I was on cloud 9 from happiness, everything felt perfect. I thought I was going to debut, and I was dating every girl's dream boy."

Bada bit her lip at Lei's confession, feeling a mixture of anger and sadness.

2017

Jihoon sat next her, smiling as he looked at her. "You look so cute like this. You should make your hair into little buns more often" he ran his thumb over her cheek gently, making her smile.

"It makes me look so childish though" Lei replied, feeling embarrassed.

"Nah, you look pretty, you're a big girl" he said, leaning in close and brushing her cheek with his lips. Jihoon pressed his body close to hers, but he immediately backed away when some of the other girls entered the hallway. They instantly began to giggle and greet him with playful flirtatious smiles, and he smiled back.

Lei felt a pang of jealousy and envy as she witnessed this, feeling completely insecure compared to these pretty girls. They were older than her, way prettier and about to debut soon. Everything Jihoon was looking in a girl

"Can't let them see us, right?" Jihoon laughed teasing her, and Lei's smile fell

She was his, but he was never hers

~

"We had been dating for a year, and I often felt uncomfortable with some things he wanted me to do. I just felt so confused because he was older and wiser, and he was an idol. He always used that as his excuse whenever I questioned him." Lei's hands began to shake as she tried to explain the emotions and situation she had been in.

Bada closed her eyes, trying to hold back her tears. She placed an arm around Lei's shoulder and reassured her "It's not your fault-"

"It is, it was always my fault"

2017

Jihoon slammed the practice door and shouted, "What the fuck Lei?"

Lei took a step back, her hands shaking behind her back, feeling nervous and scared. She tried to get her words out but her mouth was dry and she felt too overwhelmed to respond.

Jihoon cursed again and began to brush his hair with his hands. "I told you not to talk to me in front of the others. God you're so stupid and immature"

Lei said quietly and sniffled "Im sorry, please don't leave me"

Jihoon frowned and sighed, pulling her closer to him and wiping away her tears. "Im sorry for yelling but it was your fault baby, you made me really mad" he continued "But I'll forgive you"

Lei whispered "Why do you never talk to me when we're around other people?"

He placed his hand under her chin, gently lifting her face towards him. "They can't know about us because then they'll say that you debuted because of me"

Jihoon placed a sweet kiss to her forehead, and he looked at her with a playful grin. "We don't want that to happen, right? So let's keep it a secret."

'He's older Lei, he knows what he's doing'

He moved to kiss her lips, but she quickly turned her head away. She didn't know why she felt so uncomfortable with making out with him, but she has to, other girls would let him do things like this "I'm sorry Jihoon I don't really want to-"

He looked at her with a smirk "Shh it's okay don't worry. I know you're inexperienced, but it's okay. We'll take things slowly and learn together."

~

"He used me in so many ways, and I just let him. Chenle was so against our relationship, and I told him I broke up with him just to get him off my back." Lei explained, feeling a mix of guilt and shame

Bada's mind was flooded with so many emotions. She wanted to hug Lei, kill that motherfucker and burn down YG Entertainment.

"I noticed that he would always ask for my lyrics journal and I gave it to him since I thought it wasn't a big deal. But he never gave it back to me. One day I was at the cafe when I heard his newest song playing. I recognized it instantly because it was my song that I've written."

Lei paused and took a deep breath, Bada squeezed her hand in comfort. "His whole album was filled with songs I wrote, he changed nothing. I was so angry that I texted him saying that I'll tell Yang HyunSuk about what he did."

"Three hours later, I got called to his office, where Jihoon was also present. Jihoon started accusing me of selling his songs and leaking information, and even stalking him. Everything he said to Yang HyunSuk, he believed it without a doubt. Yang HyunSuk offered me two options: they can sue for stalking and selling their songs, or I can leave the entertainment and the country for at least five years and the police won't get involved"

Bada sighed sadly and rubbed her face, feeling awful for the girl "So you chose to leave"

Bada felt sick, her girlhood, her dream everything was taken away from her. Lei didn't deserve what she went through, at such a young age

"I had no choice but to leave," Lei replied softly, smiling faintly at Bada "We weren't financially stable, and in this society, who do you think they would believe?"

She shook her head sadly. "A man who's admired by everyone or a young girl who no one knows? They would never choose the girl."

"I went back to my parents after everything and worked for a year before coming here to live alone. It wasn't easy, but I made it work because I had to. I wanted to continue pursuing my dream but I couldn't. I just had to move on and let it go"

She was so used to this pain that it became normal to her. But damn did she feel sorry for herself

She was young

Bada quickly wiped away the tear rolling down her cheek before Lei could see it. She then took her hand and gently held Lei’s face, making her look at her directly.

"You were just a kid, and you didn't deserve that. He was 26. And I don't want you to blame yourself, it was never your fault."

Lei gave a quick nod of her head, trying to fight back her tears.

Bada pulled her closer and hugged her tightly. She whispered in her ear "I'm so sorry you went through this alone. But you did it in the end, and I'm super proud of you."

Lei held her firmly as well, hugging her as close as their chairs would allow them to. Neither of them minded the uncomfortable seating position and just wanted to stay like that

"And when my hiatus is over, If you want, we can go together in Korea. I'll be by your side so you can finally speak up and tell your story. Everyone deserves to hear it from the heart."

Bada whispers this in Lei’s ear with a gentle voice "And you can't hide your talent" Bada said as she pulled away from the hug and logged in on the computer. "Why stop your dream for a fucked up man, his life is going to get destroyed either way? You can get your songs back and sing them like they're supposed to, and we'll make sure everyone knows the truth and knows that you deserve better."

Lei nodded softly and let out a small, broken chuckle. "I'm sorry this turned depressing so quickly"

Lei clicked on her YG files and pointed to one of the songs "I wrote this after I realized everything he did to me"

"Can I hear it?" Bada asked

Lei didn't reply, she just played the song, Bada listened carefully from the start to the end. Each word was like a knife in her gut

She felt sick

[eldritch-nightmare]

i love how my brain just rotates between creepypastas like they're displays of a clothing store like liu and sully r a Constant but then u have the limited time item on display right and today it's toby. so. here r some messy toby thoughts that needed to escape my brain.

i think toby is the type of guy to put on a cool, indifferent front. he acts as if he doesn't care about anyone but himself. it keeps people away from him, which is exactly what he wants. so i just imagine him meeting you, who maybe without even realizing it, somehow slips past the numerous walls he had spent years building up.

it catches him off guard when he finds himself instinctively protecting you, even willing to get himself injured to keep you from getting hurt.

his carefully built mask of indifference always seems to crumble apart whenever you're around, and he's torn because on one hand, he hates being so vulnerable around someone so easily. but on the other, it feels good just... being himself around someone, yknow?

he's not the biggest fan of casual company, preferring to be by himself more often than not, but you're the exception. he's cool with you being around if that's what you want.

and he's really not sure when the friendship he had with you started to become something else. maybe it was the first time he felt comfortable enough to touch you, holding your hand like it was his lifeline. or maybe it was when you covered his hatchets in stupid stickers that you had for one reason or another.

he doesn't know, but he finds that he doesn't mind this change. it was... strange, sure, but he liked strange. he liked you.

will literally die before making the first move btw because he's the type to probably psyche himself out of confronting his feelings for you. you gotta take the lead if you want to officially start dating him.

head in hands i think he's a bit insecure im sorry i just. i imagine him feeling awkward when he isn't covering his mouth because of the scarring. it's not something he's felt insecure about before but now that he's dating you, it's like he's hyperaware of every single flaw he has.

has nightmares of you dying :(

definitely the type to pull flowers out of the ground, roots and all, to give to you. may even offer some cool rocks. or, if he wants to give you something really nice, he's not against robbing a mall or some shit.

since he can't feel pain, he never really reacts or gets worried when he's injured. he can't feel it, and once it's been treated he basically forgets about it. but you always get so worried over him whenever he gets hurt, even placing kisses on his bandaged wounds, claiming it'll help quicken the healing process.

has days where his relationship with you becomes so overwhelming that he avoids you like the plague. always feels guilty but he can't help it, he's never been this close to someone before and it scares him.

if you aren't a proxy, then he absolutely does not want you ever finding out about his 'job', and he certainly doesn't want slender finding out about you.

if you are a proxy, then he accompanies you on your missions more often than not if slender doesn't prevent him from doing so. if you squint and turn your head to the side, it's almost like you're going on a date!

uhm uhm uhm some small nsfw thoughts under the cut

switch toby truther until the day i die!! sometimes he wants you to take control and make him come undone until he can't think anymore, and other times he wants you on your knees begging him to fuck you until you pass out. depends on the weather.

it takes him a long long long time for him to feel comfortable enough to perform any sexual acts with you. he's a raging virgin okay the guy hasn't even watched porn before and sex is a really intimate thing and that makes it a little off-putting sometimes.

definitely a sub the first few times you guys have sex. he's more comfortable when you take the lead. but when you convince him to dom you for the first time, it is like a life changing experience. something about having you a crying mess underneath him, begging for him to fill you up does smth to him idk. he likes it. switch toby 🔛🔝

praises you like you were an angel sent from the heavens. he praises you until his words become a jumbled mess of 'so goods' and 'love you so much's

could literally never degrade you ever im sorry if you're into that but he literally can't be mean to you. you're so sweet to him why would he ever want to say mean things to you?? you deserve to be treated like royalty??

marks you up literally each time you guys have sex lol. bite marks all over your body that it's literally impossible to hide all of them. he acts all embarrassed after the fact, muttering an apology but he loves seeing his marks on you.

i think he'd cry if you kissed literally any of his scars btw because it's like... woah. woah, you love him. you love him. probably comes undone just from that little act of intimacy alone tbh.

fucks you like it's the last time he'll ever be able to. because to him, that's always a possibility. it scares him to death, thinking about how one day he or you could die. he needs you to feel how much he loves you whenever you two have sex. he needs you to know.

i think he likes to watch you masturbate.

still discovering his kinks for sure but the dude 100% has a voice kink i can't explain it but your voice just does something to him man. especially if you're whispering praises in his ear, calling him a good boy and telling him how much you love him.

always puts your pleasure before his. he wants you to have an orgasm at least three times before he has his first one for sure.

he is just so!! in love with you!! you are the love of his life!! he needs you like he needs air!!

so yeah. yeah. toby. he's cool.