#keep driving is That Bitch <33< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[archangeldyke-all]

hii bestie i loveee ur writing <33 the arcane finale is literally driving me insane holy shit and i just keep thinking about how all the old bitches on the council are probably bigoted assholes to our beloved sevika at first (hopefully) and was wondering if you’d consider writing the reader comforting her after these council meetings or letting her take out any stress on the reader from these meetings heheh okie bye thanks hope you’re doing amazingly <3

GOD. i've been thinking about it more lately (the euphoria of her making it through the series alive is wearing off too) and i just. really need to hug her. because YES she lived and YES zaun is getting a voice and YES she is the best person for the job, but... she lost EVERYTHING. and now she's gonna have to be treated like shit forever for her city. and of course she's gonna stick it out because that's who she is and she'll do anything for zaun but FUCK. i need to hug her so bad. okay lets write lol.

men and minors dni

it's been a hard year.

you and sevika got your worlds rocked when isha and jinx stumbled in your lives, and then you got your hearts broken when they stumbled back out.

there wasn't even a moment to catch your breath before you had to start rebuilding efforts and negotiations with piltover.

and then sevika was appointed to represent the free nation of zaun in piltover's council as the sister cities figure out how to rebuild and get the undercity on it's feet as it gains independence.

and, in a way, it's everything sevika's ever wanted. she's there to assure that the topsiders treat her city right, she's there to demand everything zaun deserves. she gets to oversee development in the undercity, she gets to open schools and parks and libraries.

but in another way, she's never been so miserable in her life.

the councilor's are all members of the wealthiest families in piltover-- and they do not take kindly to sevika's sudden addition to the council.

shoola's been sevika's one true ally, her biggest advocate and defender in the council room. they're friends, in that the same tentative way sevika was friends with silco, but... maybe a little kinder. a little more lighthearted.

shoola's become a close friend of yours, too. she learned quickly that sevika keeps her cards close to her chest, and she often comes to you for an insight into what your wife is thinking. it's fun to have someone to laugh with over sevika's quirks, and you're endlessly appreciative of the woman's fierce protection of your wife in the council, when you can't be there to defend her.

still, though. shoola isn't always there, and she can't control the whispers sevika overhears.

and it's not like your wife is new to being insulted. but it's one thing to be cursed out by a man you're fighting in the street, and a different thing entirely to overhear posh accents whispering about 'sump rats' and 'undercity trash.'

especially when those same posh accents are the people demanding tax cuts for the wealthy, and budget cuts for the undercity.

so, you've been anticipating this.

this being your wife breaking down in silent sobs, crying so hard she can't make any noise, kneeling before you the moment you gets home to bury her face in your stomach.

but just because this has been a long time coming, doesn't mean it breaks your heart any less.

"oh, sevika." you whisper shakily, kicking your boots off before kneeling down and wrapping your arms around her. she buries her face in your shoulder, her arms circling your waist with desperation. "fuck, baby. i'm right here. let it out." you say.

sevika shakes against you, taking desperate gasps for air between her sobs. "i'm so tired." she stutters out. you start crying at her words, settling down onto your ass to pull her into your lap.

"i know, baby. you've been working your whole fuckin' life." you say, scratching her scalp and rubbing her back as she curls up on top of you.

"and i fucking miss them." she cries.

you let out a choked cry and nod, kissing her forehead as tears stream down your cheeks. "yeah." you choke out. "me too."

there's nothing else to say. everything else sevika already knows. you love her. you've got her. jinx and isha are together now, and zaun is free. none of it makes it any better, though.

so you just hold her.

in a while, you'll both run out of tears and get sore from your spots on the floor. you'll dry both of your tears, kiss sevika soundly, and comb her hair from her face as you whisper her praises. you'll call for food to be delivered, draw a nice bath, and you'll make sevika eat and soak until her eyes droop. and then, you'll take her to bed. in the morning, sevika will go back to the council, despite the fact that everyone in that building looks down on her, because sevika is nothing if not loyal to zaun. and tomorrow evening, you'll be waiting here at home to build back up all her confidence that those rich assholes managed to tear down throughout the day.

but, for now, sevika's still crying.

so, for now, you just hold her.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@lavandasz @strawberrykidneystone @sevikasfan @fict1onallyobsessed

[lilacevans]

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧': 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞'𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞.

✧.*ೃ⁀➷ pete's place | the intro | opening night | the playlist ༊*·˚

✧.* : ̗̀➛ dark!ari levinson x female!reader (non-descriptive)

✧.* : ̗̀➛ word count: 375.

✧.* : ̗̀➛ warnings: breeding, dirty talk, usual filthy ari

✧.* : ̗̀➛ requested by: anonymous

✧.* : ̗̀➛ notes: wakey wakey besties, new drabble just dropped!!!!! hiiiii!!!! how ya been!! i've missed u all sm so i return with a little ari drabble <33 all of this was written on my phone so pls mind the mistakes and lemme know what u think!!!<3

*this is an 18+ space. minors are not welcome here. *this is a dark au. there are no happy endings here.

“You fuckin’ feel me, pup? Hmm? Feel me deep in this little cunt?” Ari rambled heatedly into your ear as his hips battered against the meat of your ass. Your frame bent underneath him, your breath moistened the sheet below you; pitiful moans and pleading whines were the only thing to fall past your spit slicked lips as your head swirled with everything Ari. 

“S’matter? Can’t speak? Can’t think?” Ari teased before lifting a little to snake an arm around your neck, bicep hugging your throat while he continued to fervently fuck into you. You couldn’t help but meet his thrusts, arching your back to drive your hips together harder, deeper. “That’s it, ‘atta girl, fuck yourself back on my cock. Keep it goin’, baby. Gonna fill you to the brim, breed this tight pussy.” 

A cock-drunk smile cracked across your lips hearing Ari’s lustful rants. One thing about Ari is that it was guaranteed that he’d lose all ability to keep his filthy thoughts to himself once inside you. 

“Whining like a bitch in heat. You want it? You want me to breed you, hmm? Knock you up with a little pup, mmm? Send you to Curtis’ next for a fill, then your golden boy— your Stevie,” Ari spat his name like it was venom on his tongue as he drove his cock deeper into your aching cunt. “Then your Jakey… Although he prefers this little hole, doesn’t he?”

Ari’s thumb pressed against the tight ring, the pad of his thumb slick with his spit, or the leaking wetness spilling from around his cock.

“Finish you off with Pete and that awful, mean Lloyd, hmm? Make sure you have a whole litter. Nothin’ but a hole for us to fill— Fuck,” Ari cut off, strangled and twisted as you felt his hips stutter, your head dropping to the pillow below as he filled you and used his softening cock to fuck his cum deep inside you. 

[the-tyler-as-in-skyler]

posting more svsss fanart this time half finished doodles of a lil au that’s been cooking in my brain for a few weeks

fox shen yuan aus have my heart and soul anyways he gains more tails the higher his cultivation is :33

plot points for this below the cut (also apologies for the terrible image quality she’s been through a lot (my google drive))

- shen yuan is a fox demon, he gets popped into a very young fox demon similar to how airplane gets dropped into baby shang qinghua (airplane is sqh in this au but that’s not plot relevant yet)

- little fox shen yuan, still getting the hang of his powers and creating a human form, runs into shen jiu in the woods, realizes this “random” teenager looks a lot like he did in real life, and unconsciously shifts to look like him

- shen yuan and shen jiu become kind of friends (in that shen jiu feels like he needs to protect shen yuan because he thinks he’s naive and also thinks it’s funny when he’s a bitch and shen yuan also thinks that shen jiu is funny when he’s a bitch and that he should probably keep this kid from dying or screwing himself up with his clearly demonic cultivation too bad)

- shen yuan eventually figures out how to look fully human (prior to him and sj going to cang qiong mountain)

- sy and sj become disciples on qing jing together! how does shen yuan cultivate? well sj is the only one who knows he’s a demon but they manage to swipe a fox demon cultivation manual from qing jing peak’s library for him

- when the qing generation ascends shen yuan leaves cang qiong to go be a wandering cultivator and write a bestiary

(at this point you may be asking, where is zhuzhi-lang? he’s in the doodles, why hasn’t he shown up yet? fear not, he is coming)

- while traveling shen yuan decide that the mortal realm is too boring and there are far too many papapa plants there so he travels to the demon realm to record more beasts

- at this point tianlang-jun is still the emperor of the demon realm, and, through shenanigans probably, shen yuan manages to save zhuhai-lang from a rather dangerous plant that mimics normal demonic plants and gets introduced to the emperor

- it does not take long for shen yuan to realize that this is luo binghe’s father and decide, hey, maybe he can help this guy and hopefully get both of luo binghe’s parents to survive so he can have a kind of normal life without the trauma (he is still masquerading as a human at this point and there’s quite a bit of controversy about the demonic emperor taking advice from a human cultivator, linguang-jun later mocks mobei-jun for ‘following in the late emperor’s footsteps’ when he takes shang qinghua as his primary advisor)

- this plan does not work, shen yuan is exposed to the cultivation world as a demon and a traitor and gets his ass tossed into the endless abyss so he can’t warn zzl and tlj about the plot against them

- (shen jiu goes to see him before he gets sent in: “why’d you do it?” “i… i wanted to try and let them (su xiyan and tianlang-jun) be happy together…”)

- sy is stuck in the abyss making himself a little house and strong arming the various horrors down there into liking him

- cut to shen jiu, now shen qingqiu, extremely bitter about the fact that the only person he considered a friend betraying him the cultivation world, and seeing baby binghe who looks just like the guy his friend got tossed into the the abyss for and figures out that this must have been what shen yuan was trying to protect

- shen qingqiu is livid and takes it out on binghe

- yet another cut, we know what bingge’s childhood was like, and binghe’s gets dropped into the abyss (sqq thinks that it’s fitting he sends the beast to the same fate that trying to protect him doomed shen yuan to)

- binghe wanders the abyss, being miserable, for several years before he comes across… a house? the bamboo house from qing jing peak? is he hallucinating? but no, it’s not quite the same, it’s made with whatever freaky bamboo equivalent grows in the abyss and there’s a pen with a six-legged carnivorous horse around the side of it

- shen yuan built himself a version of the bamboo house because he really liked it and he helped build shen qingqiu’s bamboo house as a sort of present/congratulations for ascending to peak lord status and he wanted a comfortable place to relax where he’s less likely to be attacked by a beast

- binghe is very confused when he is enthusiastically greeted by a fox demon who looks like his scummy teacher but is rather quickly endeared and intrigued

- they bond, shen yuan helps binghe find xin mo and they get out of the abyss and into the demon realm together with shen yuan acting as an advisor for binghe similarly to how he did with tlj, with the condition that binghe helps him release tlj and zzl from their prison

- this is the main catalyst for them going to huan hua in this au (most people have forgotten what sy looks like or they were too young to remember his trial even happening, it wasn’t anything super public because publicity for the great sects is very important so they kept things very hush hush)

- shen yuan reunites with zhuzhi-lang and tianlang-jun! it takes them a while to figure out how to properly break them out but they do manage it!

- at some point in the demon realm shen yuan and shang qinghua run into each other and clock that the other person is a transmigrator pretty quickly (they both have a habit of muttering in chinglish during court and they hear each other and do the spider-man point meme)

- sqh and sy bond and binghe and mbj don’t exactly know if they should be jealous about it, they’re very close and seem to share some sort of strange dialect that only the two of them speak and spend a lot of time together?? (they’re arguing and maybe kissing a little bc… cumplane my loves)

- shen yuan eventually has the misfortune of running into liu qingge (who survives here because i love him and i think that sy would at least try to prevent his death because he found him endearing when they were disciples), while sy is delighted that his shidi is alive he’s less happy about having cheng luan pointed directly at his throat in a secluded alleyway when he was just trying to browse the market of a town he remembered being pleasant

- reuniting with lqg leads to reuniting with the rest of cang qiong (and getting yelled at for his incompetence by shen qingqiu before they make up)

- shen yuan has (just barely) convinced binghe that torture is not the answer to solving his trauma so shen qingqiu does not get water prisoned but they aren’t trusted alone in a room together for a good long time

- eventually this probably ends in shen yuan collecting a harem on accident (not that he’s very upset about it but still, he’s confused how he managed this)

- neither binghe nor shen qingqiu are particularly pleased about the harem thing but like… they love shen yuan and if it makes him happy they’ll put up with these other idiots (they totally don’t like some of the other harem members what are you talking about? there’s nothing going on there stop asking them about it)

[milqueandsugar]

sneaks into asks again >:3c

any general nsfw headcanons for Adam, Lucifer and Vox maybe? since I saw you were trying out writing nsfw again!

🌼☕` Your Tea Is Ready `☕🌼

MINORS DNI

Includes / Adam , Lucifer , Vox

A/N - Voxs part was fighting me today, I'll post them later when I can get a more coherent thought out!

| ADAM |

Bratty bottom > Mean Dom

Someone had to say it and it clearly wasn't going to be him

He's inherently selfish, but he's also inherently prideful, it's this pride that keeps him from opening up about his interest in subbing

This pride however is also how you can get him into it

" Oh subbing is so hard, there's no way you could last without tapping out, being the top is the easy part of sex "

He folds instantly, just to prove you wrong and it has nothing to do with the fact he wants you to peg/rail him so so bad totally unrelated why would you even bring that up

Loud during sex, sub or dom this bitch shuts up for NOTHING he has no shame if someone hears

Likes when your loud too, he knows he's the shit but it's affirming to have you a moaning, screaming mess on his dick

Doesn't care much for actually talking during sex, he is NOT paying attention, no thoughts head empty yknow?

Does like when you pull or play with his hair though!

Also likes fucking you in somewhat public places, getting fucked though? In his house, in his room, doors locked, curtains pulled that side of him is for you ONLY

Hard no to pictures, he doesn't want others seeing you like that and he definitely doesn't want anyone seeing him like that

Doesn't mind a cheeky nude though !

Sends them before his shows, just to mess with you cause you know he won't be able to get back to you until hours later

Looooves when you show up for his signings afterwards and drag him back stage <33

May be while he still does it but that's between him and God

It definitely takes some time for him to come forward with his own kinks but he's absolutely willing to try yours no judgment, he'll try anything at least once

| LUCIFER |

Service top, it's not that he doesn't mind giving up control or letting you do as you please but he has such a drive to pleasure that he usually ends up taking control at some point during sex

Getting you off gets him off basically

Oral? Loves it! Loves giving head its his favourite hobby <3

Please tell him how good he is for you or how good he makes you feel, makes his head all thick with pride

Will fuck anywhere anytime

He doesn't have a particularly high libido but being an angel he's got mad stamina

Sex ends when something comes up or you tap out, he will keep you there for days if he could (and he's tried)

Hard no to any kinks that could do serious damage to you, he's an angel he can heal so so fast, you can't do that! He has this nagging fear that he'll hurt you, that he doesn't know his own strength

Doesn't mind getting hurt, as said he can heal whenever he wants to, just keep it away from his back

Wings are sensitive, it's a dirty dirty secret of his you only find out on accident and you've been abusing that knowledge ever since

Kissing down his spine? Hard. Grazing his wings? Drooling. Preening a loose Feather? Bent over the desk for you

Has so many sex toys he's willing to try, Ozzie's been giving him toys for holidays since the beginning of time

He has the first dildo ever made, it's displayed in his office somewhere

Loves cuddly morning sex, it's his favorite, kinky rough sex is awesome too, but he likes holding you and taking his time

Has all of you memorized and he treasures it, thinking fondly of your figure often

He's got three thoughts at any given time, ducks, Charlie, bending you over his desk after your third date when you licked the scotch from his bottom lip-

In his defense, you've got no right being that sexy, it's absolutely sinful

[supernova41st]

Pretty please hcs of sniper and his girly girl extroverted gf/love interest 🙏🏻🙏🏻 your writing is so cool and fun

Pinkie’ 👛

Sniper x reader

A/n: Hey guys I’m back, did you miss me? Pls tell me you did 😛 this fic was so fun, I spent a lot of time editing it so I hope you guys enjoy it cuz it’s prob one of my favs <33

Warnings: Scout tryna flirt, kinda freaky but nothing too crazy

Y’all are so fucking cute, it’s too much. He loves how you’re just there for him, like literally just there for him.

To emphasize on that, Sniper never really talks back to anyone even when they’re clearly in the wrong. He’s not shy or anything but he’d rather just not start drama.

You on the other hand? The hands are flying if anyone talks shit about your boyfriend. You’re so ready to start pulling hair off of roots for him.

“Maybe if aussie over here stopped wearing sun glasses in the dark he’d see where he’s goin’!!”

���UH UH, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO LIKE THAT? CUZ I KNOW ITS NOT HIM ‼️”

Sometimes he’ll say something to himself and you defend him

“Crikey, I need a bloody shaving”

“What? You look sexy! Who said that to you? I’ll beat their ass rn”

Scout tried to get complements too

“…man, I need a haircut”

“You’d still look ugly.”

Loves seeing your tummy, this bitch will bark like a dog for you to wear a top even slightly showing some stomach. He’ll lay his palm against your lower back to show his love for it.

If you’re into any animal print-like any-he’ll personally go hunt it down, skin it, then make something out of it for you

“Stopp this is gorgeous! Wait where’d you get this?”

“It’s homemade”

“Oh!!”

Grand entrances aren’t his thing but you make it his thing now that you two are dating

“HEY GUYS ✨✨✨✨💕💕 ITS ME Y/N🩷🩷🌸🌸🌸🌸‼️‼️REMEMBER?🪩🪩🪩🪩 and Mundy 😛”

“G’day”

He’s the only merc to cut you time for you to get ready

“We’re about to leave y/n!”

“Guys I need like 20 minutes please!! 😥”

“NEGATIVE. WE WILL LEAVE WITHOUT YOU, CUPCAKE!”

“Take all the time you need love, I’ll drive ya”

He’s such a shopping boyfriend. By that I mean he’ll carry your stuff and sit in the waiting room while you try on dresses cuz he’s patient

Learns a lot about girl shopping etiquette, like the ‘this is cute!’ thing

“Wait this is cute!” puts back immediately

“..hell was that?”

“What? It’s pretty but I wouldn’t wear it, plus 35$ for this is crazy”

If you take him to Victoria secret/PINK he’ll get so flustered. He feels guilty for staring at the mannequins

“Should I get a push up or should I get this mesh one?”

“Wouldn’t the mesh one there show off ya norks?”

“Do you not like looking at them? 😞”

“Hang on luv that’s not what I meant-“

When visiting the hello kitty store he learns a lot about Sanrio characters, he’s a fast learner but here he’s just confused.

“Okay so these are the twin stars”

“Mm, and this is?”

“Oo that’s Kuromi”

“Why they all got cake holes but Ms kitty don’t?”

“I dunno, I heard she’s not even a cat”

“Fuckin’ hell..”

You got him some hello kitty sunglasses, proudly keeps them hanging on his car window

[housecow]

What are your favorite geographic regions of Texas?

BEST question!!!!!!

1. Hill country. One of the most gorgeous parts of TX—karst topography and amazing caves!!! bats!!! and this area was volcanic during the cretaceous, you can almost imagine the island chain it was back then while driving thru the hills. the guadalupe river snaking between cliff faces?? heaven. AND this part of TX has the best trees, no contest. who cares about coastal live oaks when you have 400 y/o+ bald cypress?? and american sycamores reflecting the water??? giant pecans?? i could spend an eternity here. maybe i will…. idc if my car stalls going up the hills and ppl behind me get mad <33

2. WEST TX. 🎶is the best texas… it’s a beautiful, indescribable place. and the geology???? holy shit. i will admit ive never even been to big bend before or the more mountainous regions, but i’ve driven close enough!!!! and my bestie visited recently so i claim his memories. people forget this version of TX exists and they SHOULD. so we can keep it to ourselves!!! aguja and javelina formations my beloveds ❤️ you’d find yourself lost there and never regret a moment. i love that barren ass drive from TX to new mexico tbh

3. Post Oak Savanna: weird one, i know!!!! but im a bitch for flat land. i may be one of the only ppl that can drive thru the great plains and feel right at home. i like seeing what’s around me!! mountains are scary. plus, god…. soft, rolling hills south of san antonio, seas of golden grass, old oaks standing as monuments, having been there longer than anything colonial-made in the US. absolute fucking behemoths. you wouldn’t understand this until you approach these things—it’s like the moment you enter that massive, widespread canopy, the world is quieter. the trees almost speak to you. yes i’m in love with them. beneath your feet and everywhere you go, fields of petrified wood 🥺

plus. this is one of the most ecologically important areas of TX, surprisingly. its an example of one area that’s supposed to be governed by fire. of course, now that’s no longer occurring, shrubification, tree encroachment… it used to serve as a sort of bridge for wildlife, but now it’s a fence. sad. anyways, you can tell by the trees they were made to withstand fire. hard, aggressive bark on live oaks.

interestingly, the ones south of the hill country are mixes of q. virginiana (coastal live oak) and q. fusiformis (escarpment oak) and should be the TX state tree in my humble opinion. pecans are found literally everywhere, these are found only here!!

[dipperscavern]

Hello Dippers!! Hate to be that bitch asking for more but could I do a potion brewing with Jon Snow and Bolton Reader??

Sincerely, *THE* Bolton Reader who adores you dearly <33

i live breathe sleep and eat bolton!reader, thank u for the ask!! i adore u!! <3

i think jon’s biggest pet peeve is when people assume you’re stupid. sometimes people can be dickheads, and you just embrace yourself — silliness and whimsy and all, and that doesn’t make you stupid. jon knows you like nobody else does, and he knows how skilled you are. people do the same thing with sam, and it drives him up the walls. jon is very passionate about this, and very defensive of you especially in that regard.

you’re very skilled with a sword. your father always made sure you were not only able to defend yourself, but exceeded expectations. you were always better than ramsay, but you never let him know that. if you showcased it, and ramsay found out how good you actually were, he’d see you as a challenge. you already had what he didn’t ��� legitimacy, so you had to be very careful around him. but, you made sure ramsay knew somewhat of your skill, and this helped him see you as a sort of equal (plus, your father made it clear you were off limits)

and i think growing up in the dreadfort with your father and ramsay is part of the reason you’re the way you are. for so long you were on the defensive, always tiptoeing around ramsay, having to treat him as a constant threat 24/7 etc etc. so when you get to castle black, and you’re free to be yourself, you don’t try to hide anything. you’ve been hiding all your life.

you embrace the mud, catch frogs, pick up all the insects and reptiles everybody else is weary of. you’re incredibly funny, and can be found at the center of attention most times (you flourish under it). there’s not many who dislike you, because you’re the one who keeps up morality when things get tough. no matter what happens, somehow, you’re still you. you’re smiling and tripping over your own feet, pointing out how that cloud looks like the late king robert’s backside — saying you’re so hungry you could eat a horse, then turning to the nearest horse and saying “sorry, darling, don’t mind me”

(somehow) you’re very good at giving orders. jon can trust you to lead men into battle, even if you dedicate the cause you’re fighting for to the frogs (you really, really like frogs)

and, naturally, you’re the best tree climber they’ve got. it comes in very useful for scouting, and even more useful when you play hide and seek with kids (you never let them win)

jon love love loves the small conversations with you late at night, when you’re combing the leaves from your hair and recounting how you spooked podrick so badly he fell into and took down his own tent. you always giggle when telling that story

and one of jon’s favorite things about you is how you always smile into the kiss whenever he kisses you. you can’t help it, he’s just so lovely :3

[sturnioloszn]

BLONDIE - N.S

summary; your best friend calls you over to his house to help him dye his hair and, in the process, convinces you to dye your eyebrows.

warnings; none, js a fluff w the nicolas stromboli.

a/n; another nick fic, there is actually a massive shortage of nick fics, and i'm here to change that. also, blond nick was a massive slay, the look should make a comeback (along w the mullet).

"Bitch, did you just wake up?" Nick's voice echoes into my quiet room. I rub my eyes and let a yawn escape my lips before answering.

"It's only... 12:33," I groan, looking at the time on my phone. I was woken by the sound of my phone violently buzzing on my nightstand only to find out it was an incoming call from my best friend.

"What do y'mean only?!" He exclaims, making me quickly pull the phone away from ear due to the deafening volume he was speaking at.

"I mean only, now, what is sooo urgent that you had to disturb my beauty sleep?" I ask, releasing another yawn and pulling the phone back to my ear.

"I was calling to ask if you wanted to come over, I'm dying my hairrrr," he sings. Dying his hair?? Oh god, I have to see this mess.

"I'll be over in an hour, don't you dare start without me," I warn, rising from my bed and heading to my bathroom. The cold tiles against my bare feet make me shiver and get goosebumps all over my back and arms.

"I wouldn't dream of it, see ya soon," he says, ending the call. I'm now standing in my bathroom mirror, looking at the bird nest that formed in my hair overnight. I grab the nearest hairbrush and comb out the mess sitting on top of my head before taking a refreshing shower to really wake me the fuck up.

Roughly an hour later, and my uber is pulling up to Nicks. I knock on their door, after a few seconds, the door swings open, and I'm greeted by Nick's cheesy smile.

"Took you long enough," he says, as we make our way upstairs to his bathroom. On the way up, I briefly greet Matt and Chris, who are sitting on the couch, watching Gravity Falls.

"What colour are you even doing?" I ask, stepping into his bathroom. Nick's green decor was so welcoming as usual, and the hung picture of him as a kid brushing his teeth is adorable.

"Drum roll, please.... blond!!" He says, hitting his against the counter to imitate the sound of a drum.

I'm in complete shock. Out of all the possible colour options I thought about on the drive over, blond didn't even cross my mind.

"Blond?! Why blond?" I ask, still trying to pick my jaw up from the floor.

"I have no idea, but I'm feeling it so fuck it," he says grabbing the box of bleach sitting on his counter and opening it up.

Within minutes, I'm holding a brush covered with dye and layering it thickly onto Nick's brunette strands.

"This is insane, your gonna look like fucking Fred from Scooby Doo," I laugh, looking at his face through the mirror. We both break into laughter and the jokes keep flowing from there.

After a solid 10 minutes of applying the bleach to his hair, it's finally completely covered, and we've tied a plastic bag to his head to let the bleach process.

"How long does this shit stay on my head for?" He asks, flopping onto his bed.

"No fucking clue, if I had to guess, I'd say until it burns," I reply, before falling onto his bed right next to him.

"BURNING? FUCK NO, YOU WANT ME BALD," He shrieks, before googling how long it's actually supposed to process for. While we wait, we continue to crack jokes about all the characters he's going to look like blond, and tears are starting to form.

"YOU'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE FUCKING JOHNNY BRAVO," I wheeze as the alarm on his phone goes off indicating that it's time to rinse off the dye.

"Shut the fuck up and come help me rinse this shit," he laughs making his way to the bathroom, with me following right behind him.

As we enter the bathroom, he notices the leftover bleach in the bowl and a wicked grin grows on his face.

"I'll give you 50 bucks if you dye your eyebrows with the leftover bleach," he says, looking over to me.

"Make it 80, and you have a deal," I challenge. I don't actually mind dying them. It was only eyebrows, and I could dye them back whenever so I was down to fuck around and find out.

"Deal," he accepts, grabbing the brush and begins applying the bleach to my eyebrows.

"If you drop any in my eyes, I will fight you," I say, shielding my eyes while laughing.

He eventually coats my eyebrows, and I begin to rinse his hair under the sink. As I'm rinsing I'm noticing that the blond is looking awfully orange.

"Nick...,"

"What? What's wrong?" He asks with pure terror lacing his voice.

"You might want to see yourself..." I say as he lifts his head to look at himself in the mirror. His jaw drops.

"What. The. Fuck. Is. This." He says, pronouncing every word loud and clear. I press my lips together, trying to restrain my laugh, but it's no use.

"You look like a bottle of honey mustard," I cackle. Nick turns around and serves me a playful punch on my arm. His hair was a shade of yellow-ish orange instead of the light blond it was meant to be.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY," He says, combing his fingers through his hair. Tears start forming at my eyes again, and this time, they roll down my cheeks because it actually is funny. Hilarious even. But I instantly stop laughing when I remember the same dye is in my eyebrows right now.

Nick notices my look of sudden concern, and that's when he also comes to my same realisation.

"HAH, WHO HAS THE LAST LAUGH NOW, BITCH," He says pointing at my eyebrows. I push him to the side and instantly scrub my eyebrows under the faucet, trying to get rid of the dye before it has any effect on my eyebrows.

Unfortunately, it was too late. My eyebrows matched the tangerine colour of Nick's hair. We stared at ourselves in the mirror before bursting into laughter once again.

After drying Nicks hair, we agreed that we were both in serious need of some toner. We rushed downstairs to find Matt to ask if he could drive us over to the nearest shop so we could fix our mess.

We go into the living room to find only Matt sitting on the couch now. As we approach him, he turns to look at us, and his eyes widen like he has just seen a dragon blow fire.

"What the hell did you guys do??" He says, fixating on Nick's hair and my eyebrows. We explained how we got into the mess and then asked him if he could drop us off to get some toner.

"Fuck no, I'm not being seen in public with you idiots looking like that, find another way," he says, getting up from the couch, leaving me and Nick alone in the living room.

We turn to look at each other and just start laughing all over again. With all the dumb shit I do, I'm glad I get to share it with my best friend. I really wouldn't have it any other way.

a/n; no lie, with that one pic of nick with his head out the window and his hair slanted to one side, he rlly does look like johnny bravo; if you don't k who that is I beg you search it up!! anyway, thanks for reading this fic, love youu! 💙

[digenerate-trash]

Yoo some Apocolypse sydney faction ideas!

• The reason sydneys faction is so important is because of the books and clothes! The schools water system is too old to rely on electricity, so it's basically an unlimited but controlled recourse. But it didn't take long for the electricity to go out, removing the schools lighting and heating/ac entirely. Thanks to windows being dangerous, places with lots of them are considered either dangerous or are covered up so that the turrets aren't alerted. That leaves everywhere really dark (how rogue kylar lives. Bitch can see in the dark and sleeps in lockers) and very cold at night. That's where sydney comes in- before the apocalypse, he already had the keys to the school and the library due to coming in and leaving late to open and close it, and he keeps them extremely close. His books and even his clothes are used as tinder for both lighting and heat, which is essential, although he is extremely stingy- he chooses what books are allowed to be burned, and his lambs are punished if they burn books friviously, and he also drives a hard bargain. His main import is water- one full bucket in exchange for 3 books, and a 3 days rations for clothes. People mostly use clothes as replacements if theirs are too damaged (they usually pay robin a ration of water to mend clothes, but sometimes they are unable to.) And as mostly bedding these days, due to how limited the resource is.

• The library itself is locked at almost all times, making it impenetrable. It's very dark, and almost fully silent. People sleep on clothing beds between the library's aisles, and sydney's quarters are behind his counter, where he has his chair covered with clothes as a bed and the under counter where he keeps his favorite books. The changing room is mostly storage, but also where he punishes his straying flock.

• Sydney is extremely strict with his sheep, and keeps his group extremely small and close. You have to prove to him you belong, and if you mess up, he punishes you in the churchly fashion- pain. Fire is the only good method for it. If you act out minorly, he puts the fire close to your skin and let's it redden and become painful, but if you steal or betray him.. you are burnt and cast out into the rest of the School with a brand. It's why it's so hard to get spies into his faction- hard to tolerate without the proper conditioning that his loyal flock receives. You get bedding and good food and water, but you have to lose your individuality- you have to follow every rule- you have to lose all contact with the outside population. While most students outside of this faction have given up on staying clean, Sydney demands it- it's why he trades for so much water. All of his children and himself are as clean as possible given the circumstances- hair brushed, washed and combed through in the bucket, and bodies washed of any blood or grime. If you try and sequestered water or stay unwashed, you are punished. Yes I like giving them a god complex </33

• When you're sent out to trade with the rest of the School, you are not allowed to speak. A piece of paper covers your face with the resource you're trading, and it's impossible to tell who you are. It's both isolating and it keeps you safe- Whitney can't target you personally when all of you look the same, when they can't even hear your voice. They also have a dress code- plain grey School Cardigan, and long black school skirt/pants. All in the name of avoiding vanity and keeping safe and anonymous for Sydney.

I imagine being sydneys favorite sheep in the herd would be rather suffocating> :3c

- Dolbog! (Will be making ocs for this au)

OMG EVERYONE FUCKING LOOK

I gotta say I love it when yall contribute to my whack ideas-

Sydney facing into his deepest religious teachings to keep himself safe crating structure for his faction as well as making a system that ensures he's safe as well.

Also sydney making sure that paper over the face to hide identities is smart.

Plus you know that if you're sydneys favourite little lamb you're kept so far away from the rest of the rifraff.

[ofstoriesandstardust]

something’s gotta give (j.h.s.)

a/n: my finger slipped. 

summary: Jake makes a decision.

inspired by camila cabello’s “something’s gotta give” and taylor swift’s “the last time” | part of the maroon universe

warnings: age gap (reader is 22, Jake is 33), angst, break-ups, non-linear story telling, i’m working on a follow-up piece to this, referenced sex

word count: 869

“no reason to stay is a good reason to go”

The light in the kitchen is dim as you walk into the entryway, pausing a few feet from the kitchen island. Bradley glances at you from where he’s fiddling around on his phone, glass of water sitting in front of him. It takes him a second but he glances back up at you again, putting his phone to sleep as he stands up from the chair. 

"Hey kid, are you okay?” 

You take a shaky breath, pulling your hair to one side as tears sting your eyes. “Um-”

Bradley furrows his eyebrow, taking a step closer for you, arm already outreached to pull you into a hug. “Hey, hey, what happened?” 

The words leave you in one fell swoop before you’re ever even really sure you want them to. 

“Jake broke up with me.” 

-

The ocean breeze floats through your hair, sending a shiver down your spine as your wet hair drips on to your shirt. Your eyes are unseeing, too focused on the war inside of you. 

“I never should’ve moved back to San Diego.”

Your Dad looks to you but your eyes remained focused on the crashing ocean water. 

“I’ve been fucking miserable here. And I tried, I tried to make it work, to believe you all those times you said that it was going to be different. And I tried to make it work with the team, with the job, with Jake, but-” You pause, blinking. “No reason to stay is a good reason to go.” 

-

You feel the fabric of Bradley’s cotton white t-shirt hitting the side of your face as he draws you into a hug before you process that the words have left your mouth. 

You bite your lip, determined to keep the tears in because you’re sure that once you let go, you might shatter in Bradley’s arms. 

“Hey, what happened? I thought things were going so good.” 

“I thought so too, but he- he fucked me and then he dumped.” 

Your lip trembles, first tear traitorously slipping down your face as Bradley stiffens. 

“He what?” His voice is dangerously quiet. 

He pulls away, just enough to look you in the eye. You take the opportunity to step back, tears running down your face now as you make a futile attempt to wipe them away on the back of your wrist. 

“We were- we were laying bed after, you know, and I was telling him about how the last guy I had been with didn’t really give a shit about me, that he took more than I could give, but how he- he didn’t make me feel like that and Jake- he-”

A sob escapes your mouth and your hand flies up to cover it, knowing the minute your Dad wakes up, all hell will break loose. Bradley knows this too, shushing you as he pulls you back into another bug, muffling your sobs, but it’s pointless, the sound of the bedroom door opening. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” Maverick’s voice comes, followed by the kitchen light being flicked on. 

“Kiddo, what happened?” Your Dad says and you feel his hand fall on your back, rubbing comfortable circles with your thumb into your shoulder. 

“Jake broke up with her.” Bradley says after a minute of silence when it becomes clear you’re not going to say anything. 

“Son of a bitch.”

-

The car door shuts, the ocean breeze floating in through the outdoor drop-off section of the airport. Maverick sighs, settling his hands in his coat pockets. 

“It’s not too late, you know? You don’t have to do this.” 

He’d been the only to come see you off as you left to start over. Insisted he drive you. 

You shrug, tugging stray hair behind your ear that’s been blowing in the wind. “I’m sorry Maverick.” 

He sighs again, taking a step towards you, tugging you into a hug. “I love you, kid. This’ll always be your home. You’re always welcome here.” 

You take a deep breath, trying to memorize the way he smelled of jet fuel and ocean breeze, the way the scent had always brought you comfort and familiarity. 

“Just because Jake is gone doesn’t mean you’ve got to go.” He says and the words make you take a step back, arms falling to your side. 

It feels final, leaving like this. 

You sigh, pulling the handle of your suit case up as you step back on to the curb before facing him one last time. 

“No reason to stay is a good reason to go.” 

-

Your phone illuminates on the nightstand as you shift the covers back to slip under. You frown, sighing to yourself as you know who it is. 

At this hour, there’s only one. 

You stand up from the bed, walking over to the window. 

There he is, staring up at you with pleading eyes. 

You heave another sigh, tears stinging your eyes as you draw the blinds shut, blocking his figure from view. 

You flick the lamp off, plunging the room into darkness. You count your breaths in a fruitless attempt to keep the stinging tears at bay.

No reason to stay is a good reason to go.

[pennkquest]

Continuing on from this post, my thoughts on Sam/Milo as it pertains to Inversion + The Summit

[PK Inversion Brainrot part 241 (/j):]

-The idea that Milo losing his magic for a bit retriggering Sam is actually everything to me /lh

-I think Milo would be keeping himself busy as much as humanly possible, so much so that he can't notice the emotions clouding Sam's eyes from behind. I imagine a lot of late night drives taken by Sam once Milo goes to sleep for the night, not wanting to talk directly but wanting the space

-After he works through it enough though, it turns into him trying to figure out how to best help his mate. Should be keeping up the comfort and reassurance that this won't last? Or should be try and help prepare Milo for a life without shifting? (Doesn't end up mattering in the long run but still)

-Despite the fact that Sam was the one inside the ward, I firmly believe it's Milo's safety that he worries about most following that day. When Milo starts working security gigs again, Sam tries to suppress the urge to constantly check in and make sure Milo will be home that night. I could see him even asking other pack members because he doesn't want to stress Milo out with his anxieties (this would have to reach a boiling point at some point though and the convo would EAT I just know it /pos)

-Sam having an intensified appreciation for any time Milo chooses to shift in front of him after his core returns to normal

-Even though it would go against canon theoretically, I firmly believe Milo would half-jokingly start the "would you have turned me?" convo with Sam after his magic is back to normal. It's under the guise of "if my core had been fried for good... would you have offered that to me?" Maybe they leave it there, continue ignoring the larger elephant in the room, but I feel like they go hand in hand

-Sam having nightmares about things he witnessed in the ward but Milo was in other's place? Yeah /lh

///

[Onto the Summit]

-Fred and Bright (my versions at least) are dating by then and BOTH are in attendance in general, so that's already fun + the Quinn mentions would be even more fun with his progeny there

-I've also been analyzing heavily how I think Milo would feel towards Alexis and vice versa

-SH and Darlin are dating in the context of this ship, so it makes Porter approaching Darlin feel even jucier because he's also aware that Sam and Darlin are close in some regards + has heard about Darlin's reputation

-Bright and Lovely have a very close dynamic, this is more passive of a thought since I'm uniquely insane over my versions of them but I like the idea that Bright is dragging them around *cough cough* so they're not just made to be Vincent's arm candy the entire night instead *cough hack cough*

-Sam internally freaking out for a moment when the death takes place because he can't find Milo initially and he has flashbacks to Milo being outside the ward and him inside (<33)

-It also hit me that Milo and Porter would have met pre-Summit, oh BITCH I have things to think about /pos

-First off: *Milo Greer does not have a bone to pick with Alexis Solaire prior to this event.* In fact, he's mentioned to Sam on several occassions that "Hey, I get why you're upset with her/feel the way you do. But first off, you should talk to someone about it. And second, you don't even know what she's actually like after all this time given the cold shoulder y'all have both been giving each other. Just consider that, alright?" Like the idea that Milo would square up because she's "Sam's ex" feels ridiculous to me personally, they are both minding their business as far as things go before the Summit

-Second: Concocting with the help of Lexi Sun (<33), because of the idea that Marie is sympathetic towards Alexis from the perspective of a healer, Milo is also inclined to not hate her guts prior to everything. He knows she fucked up Sam way back before when, and he's got some thoughts about that, but it's not this seething anger or anything

-That. Being. Said. When it came to the Summit, I thought Darlin's reactions to Alexis' chat were kind out of character given their development as a listener for several reasons. So I was like "Well what would be the best way to have her poke and prod at things that's unique to Milo?" And then I remembered one of my favorite gut wrenching moments in "canon", which is Imp!Milo basically telling Asher that he is expendable in comparison because his emotions get the best of him and that he can "take the punches" for them and all that jazz.

-So picture it with me: Sure Alexis brings up the whole "you gonna get turned or not?" thing but what she presses against is whether or not Milo could adequately live up to being Sam's mate more or less. "He's the duke of the Solaire clan, he's got plenty of eyes on him and the reputation to match. And you're... what? The pup who runs behind his best friends who actually have a role in your pack? What is it that you can even offer Sam?" It gets under Milo's skin because at no point is she undermining Sam. She's not shit talking that man whatsoever, but she's perfectly sinking her nails into Milo's insecurities. Hell, she could be asking in a complex way of looking out for Sam after all these years, the effect is all the same. And in that context, it feels like it makes sense that Milo starts to lose his temper, very much so "watch ya fuckin' mouth" energy only to be met with Alexis saying something along the lines of "By all means, Mr. Greer. *Please* start shouting and get every pair of eyes on the two of us. I'm sure you'd be showing everyone how you're *such* a good representative for your pack." Like it's catty, it's petty, but she's also just stating her perspective as an external detached party. The problem is that it's stuff Milo's tried to push out of his head a million times.

[cmtcahrule]

No Words. Part 2.

For those who can't or won't watch.

26. After our wedding I had purchased all of these lanterns. I had this storage unit of all of these lanterns because they really went with the vibe. I had him and his friends drive them in a U-Haul to Texas which was really helpful until they got stopped at the border with weed and went to jail. So they helped when they could.

27. So when things really blew up for him, which I knew took some years, and you were in the spotlight at red carpets, and you were at big movie premiers, and more eyes were on you, how did that feel? Like you had the taste of fame from the hosting, but did you like being in that spotlight of Hollywood? It felt really weird. Like I should be asking questions. I felt like I still wanted to be the person asking questions. There’s always a fine line. You want to be a supportive wife. But you don’t want to lose your identity. Your husband’s career is going one direction but I have always found it tricky to be a supportive wife and maintain everything else that I want. How can I maintain my young, bitch self and be who I am?

28. I wondered how you felt when he was doing really well and you had to come along for the ride? Everything goes back to relationships. We were best friends. We went everywhere together. We didn’t have kids for 5 years. We were together on every set and every experience. I have so many of my friends from his movie sets like Social Network.

29. Where were you when your marriage was ending? Were you ready? I don’t think anyone is ready. I am such a family person. My family is everything. I would literally do anything to take any pain away from my kid. There is literally nothing I would not do.

30. I am a very Christmas card, basic bitch girl who believes family is more important than life or work. I would honestly do anything to keep my family together.

31. During COVID ahead of the divorce announcement: He was having struggles with his dad. He said mentally I am not OK. Like for me, if anyone said I am not OK, you don’t argue with that.

32. Long story short, he left. I saw some text messages that were not supposed to be sent to me.

33. You know what, we have worked so hard and come so far, you just don’t leave your family during a global pandemic. Especially with everything that we have been through.

34.Yes, family is important, but some people are OK with infidelity, but some people can move on, some people can turn a blind eye, but I fucking deserve the world and I am not the girl.

35. I think people make mistakes but I was never going to stay in a relationship where I was disrespected.

36. I remember screaming and crying and not understanding how and why that this could even be happening after we had so many plans. We wanted more kids. We wanted to be in this neighborhood.

37. It was the most horrible time of my life. I am strong. Yes, you are strong as fuck. From the sidelines, watching you…the way you handled it should be written about.

38. Did he try to fight for the marriage when you wanted to end it? He was not in a great place at the time. I won’t speak on his behalf in terms of treatment but all I wanted for him was for him to get help.

39. I drove him to the airport.

40. A good place to heal is where there is no paparazzi or tabloids. I honestly think that one more year might be our “safe zone” here. It is not like we are hiding but I just want to protect them until they can understand that we are both in really healthy places now.

41. I told my daughter I will buy half of your car if you wait until you are 16 to have a phone.

42. I don’t want to overstep but this came out in the media that Armie is paying $1,500 per month in child support and for some reason that became public. I have built a really successful company and I have 3 shows right now in production. I am so grateful for the success of my company and my team. I can sit here and literally spend however many dollars on another year of arguing back and forth with him about how much money and it is such a waste. I will provide for our kids. They are with me all the time.

43. We were in LA and we were staying at my friend’s house and together putting the kids to sleep and reading a book together. That is what kids want and that is what makes them happy. If that is the one thing I can give them I will. There is nothing I won’t do for them. They didn’t ask for any of this.

44. Are you still dating your hot boyfriend? Yes. He is amazing. He is from Lithuania. Born and raised in a small village. He is a physical therapist. I am in love and I love him.

45. So if you move to LA is he going to come? I don’t know. Everyone says the city will ruin him. He is very traditional. He is only 26.

46. The kids love him so much. He is so present and great with them. He is never on his phone.

47. Our family of four, including Armie, is really important to them. That is their identity now.

48. Regarding work: I am excited for the one on Discovery. It is basically a Dateline but with modern terms. Toxic relationships. I am manifesting 300 seasons of it.

49. We have also done a show on Hulu about opening the location here in Cayman which I am hosting and producing. A couple of other ones that just sold.

50. In the end, everything comes down to trauma. Maybe you are filling a void you did not have when you were younger. We are all products of our upbringing. And that really manifests itself in romantic relationships.

[billkaulitzwife]

can you please do hc for dating johnny? (sfw + nsfw) thank you!

Yall are tiring me out I HAVE SCHOO-

ofc, non!! tysm for the request, golden <33

Dating Johnny Cade. (SFW + NSFW)

WARNINGS!!

swearing, ed, cuts, sh, mentions of sêx, etc.

Now Playing: Rosemary

johnny is definitely a deftones guy.

SFW

He calls you doll, darlin, sunshine, baby, etc..

He's not much of a sexual guy, he loves romance

Johnny wouldn't trade you for the world

omg he smells like orange peels im js putting it out there.

The moment he finds out you're getting picked on or flirted with

theyre

dead.

meat.

he packs a punch.

like say bob was trying sum w u, POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER

He's so lovable and sweet

he writes you notes on gum wrappers and sticks them in your locker

hes good at persuading the teachers to let him sit next to you

HE CALLS YOU BEAUTIFUL IN ITALIAN

JOHNNY IS SO SWEET

valentine's and ur birthday

he has money set aside for flowers

.

him and pony wld work at DQ together and you and dally would pull to the drivethru like

u and dallas: "YURR"

johnny: "hey, babe! 10.57 at the window."

dally: "i didnt even order yet"

johnny: "YALL ARE THE ONLY BITCHES COMING THRU MY DRIVE THRU AT 2:45 EVERY DAY SAYING "YURR""

.

Hes actually so sweet tho

Dallas keeps his eye on you

makes sure you're good enough for his son

im so serious when i say dallas would take you in as his child but u and his son are dating so thatd be weird

he'd definitely be all kissy and soft when hes tired

he believes communication is key unlike COUGHCOUGHMYEXCOUGHCOUGH

johnny is always by your side

even when ur pissing

hes outside the door

"can i hug you yet"

"JOHNATHAN MATTHEW CADE"

"sorry mi amor"

idk why but i think he'd hate pop and country

js like me fr

NSFW

when he bottoms he knows how bad you love his moans and whines so he lets them all out

hed 10/10 let you ride

and 10/10 wld smash

i mean he does both

when youre giving him head, this man tenses up so much and squirms

he doesnt like hurting you so he'll always thrust slow (at first).

if he ever found out you had an ed, he wouldn't be willing to do anything bc he wants you to be healthy

if you had sh scars, he wouldnt grab your wrists

hed be gentle on your thighs

he wouldnt grab your waist

he would hold your hand.

johnny would do anything to kiss you while fucking.

i swear on my life

he would beg you to kiss him

when you kiss his scar when shits heated

IT GETS SO MUH BETTER

1-10 wld u let him hit, answer in the comm-

this kid loves sloppy makeout sessions that turn out to be sex

like if saliva is all kinda running down your chins he'd get turned on

wait did i just fucking say he has a spit kink.

he def like hickeys

giving and receiving

he loves being called baby or something

anyways

guys im so tired. I LOVE YOU GOLDENS AND TY AGAIN NON!!🫶🫶

[tea-potato-gt]

The Last leg of the book! We made it!

More more more memes and reactions for @marydublinauthor and @kendsleyauthor on their book “Shot in the Dark!”

Part 1 here / Part 2 here / Part 3 here / Predictions / Pirates AU

*spoilers ahead*

——————————————

Chapter 29

Jon: “We’re coming with you. We’ll see this through to the end.” (Alt: “You can’t get rid of [us] Bitch! [We’re] not going nowhere! [We’re] not going no-fuckin’-where!”)

Sylvia: “Why would you do that?”

Cliff: “After everything, you really expect us to dump you on the side of the road and keep driving?… We’re not gonna let you die.”

Chapter 30

“Loss was bitter, but falling for him was painless.”

Chapter 31

Damian: “Don’t feel too bad for Ayden. He’s the one who put the mark on Sylvia’s face.” Jon for a split second: 👀

When Melanie punched Lireal in the face: (It was personal.)

Jon: “A beast in my chest purred possessivley. Mine.” Me reading this:

Also me if a REAL man said/thought this about me

Chapter 32

Damian at Sylvia when he realizes she wants to be with Jon:

Chapter 33

*Police scanner says the cops are after Jon and Cliff and they need to leave immediately.* Me:

Cliff and Sylvia’s future matching T-shirts👕👚🔪🧚🏼‍♀️

Jon: "I wish I could kiss you." 🥲🙄 Me @ Jon: You can kiss her, no humanizing required! Pucker up those fat lips and full face smack her! It's not that hard! I don't care she's only a few inches tall! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨Kiss. 🧚🏼‍♀️Her. 🫵You. 😤COWARD!!!😡🤬😠

Thank you for coming to my ted talk 😤😤😤 😇

Hazel

The way I was not emotionally, mentally, or physically ready for this twist… 👁️👄👁️😐😑😐🫨

*Me when something large comes out of the woods towards Hazel and her Mom:*

(I will say, my first thought was this man is Sylvia's father who got yassified into a human 🤔🫡😵🫨)

——————————

Bonus:

Cliff and Sylvia’s relationship progression through out the story:

————————————

Thank you so much for reading! 😭😁🥰

I have one last post about predictions for the next book and then I’m done! … for now. 😈🫣

[chuuyascumsock]

fem!chuuya can move down a place, pookie, you're my dream girl 😘

dw ill eat all the nasty custimers for you and YES PLEASE DO????? FEMCHUUYA, FEMDAZAI AND DAMBI INSERT???? GIRL PANIC?? PLEASE???

and i would be honoured to brainstorm with you if you'd let me too (yes i do want to ive got the giddiest smile rn <33)

and thank you as well for that, needed to hear that tbh and i'll keep that in mind if i ever work up the courage ❤️

also i just realised i asked for heights a while ago and then never did anything- um, experiment on hold! its getting there, but its fair for me to expose myself.

im like kenji's height. no joke, im a fucking gremlin. MY FAMILY IS SO SHORT ITS NOT REAL. Worst part is im considered 'tall' in my family ... 😁

AND I HOPE YOU HAVE MASSES OF FUN AT THE PRIDE PARADE :O

thank you for letting me ramble in your inbox 🫶

Omg stooooop, you’re gonna make me innnnk 😩

Please eat the mean customers, they’re driving me crazy (the door dashers are more rude somehow though, fr had two assholes come in and tell me that me asking to see proof of them picking up an order because we had problems with people stealing the orders was me just being a bitch even though it was policy to ask or I could literally get fired for not doing the one thing I’m asked to do as the cashier 😭).

And I’ll be working on that drawing bc I actually love femzai and femchuu withh my whole heart (don’t tell OG Chuuya and Dazai I said that) 🙏.

Also— 5’2”⁉️ omg 😧

Ok well I can’t say anything, I’m taller than almost every girl I meet aside from the occasional tall queen and my almost 6’0” tall bestie. I will say that all my shorter girl friends have to deal with me leaning against them and using their heads and shoulders as a chin rest so— if I ever see you, it’s on sight 😚

[cheesecakeislazy]

I was paid (no I wasn’t) to ensure that there was exactly 69 headcanons on this list hehehehe

Spicy BEN Drowned Headcanons

1. BEN is obviously a virgin.. so he’s a little inexperienced

2. BEN definitely needs his partner to coach him through the first few times (if his partner has experience)

3. BEN has 6 inches exactly, but he’s kinda insecure about it because he thinks he’s small (again, 0 experience)

4. BEN actually keeps the hair down there trimmed nicely, he actually cares about his appearance in a weird way

5. BEN is amazing with aftercare, he might hate water- but you let him hit it so we will most definitely make you a bubble bath if you ask for one

6. BEN loves aftersex cuddles, he doesn’t care if he’s big spoon, little spoon, or anything- just cuddle him

7. BEN doesn’t really care about physical appearances, he just loves who he loves

8. His cum actually tastes sweet with a small hint of sour cream

9. BeN is very needy- he has a high sex drive but he’s very big on consent

10. Ben doesn’t like to admit he’s horny for you, he’ll probably hide his boners under pillows and blankets

11. BeN has a massive kink with masturbation, he really wants to walk in on you or have you walk in on him

12. He really wants to fuck you while you wear his hat- he thinks you look really adorable in it

13. He’s a switch- he’ll be on top or bottom, whichever one you want him to be in

14. Ben is usually pretty submissive- but he can get dominant too sometimes

15. BEN has a lot of kinks he’s super embarrassed to admit

16. BEN lowkey wants you to peg him- but he’s so ashamed of it that he’d rather die than tell you

17. His ears are super sensitive, if you rub them or bite them it’s like touching his cock

18. He hates degrading you- he always feels bad

19. He loves worshipping you like a God

20. If you ever suck his dick, he thanks you a lot and praises you for being so nice to him

21. Ben is very vocal.. whimpers, whines, moans, panting, begs, praises, etc.

22. BEN is honestly kinda insecure about himself- so the idea that someone as hot as you wants to fuck him is literally impossible, it’s why he’s so affectionate during sex

23. Despite all the jokes BEN makes about fucking you and having sex and getting bitches- he’s so nervous to have sex because he’s worried he’ll fuck up

24. Sometimes when Ben gets really riled up, his red pupils turn into hearts

25. BEN is also very possessive, he hates letting that side of him out- but if you let him? He’s… rough

26. BEn has a breeding kink, he wants you to get pregnant with his children, to prove to everyone in the world that the most beautiful human being in existence is his

27. Ben doesn’t like to hurt you, but he does like to give you small love-zaps with his electricity manipulation

28. When bEN is closer to cumming, his voice gets glitchier

29. Unless you make him, BEN will always muffle his moans because he thinks it’s girly and wrong to be a vocal man

30. His ears twitch a lot when he nuts

31. He loves placing hickeys all over your body- especially in places that nobody else will see, only him~

32. Ben loves it when you overstimulate him

33. BeN will call you mommy/daddy

34. BeNn will eat you out like a starved man in the desert. And he’s scarily good at it

35. Ben likes it when you scream his name- oddly enough, he loves it whenever you scream his full name

36. Ben genuinely does not care about position- all he cares about is making you cum

37. He loves being praised- being called a good boy just makes him hard as fuck

38. One time he pulled you into the techno dimension and fucked you in there, it literally felt like an out of body experience but sexy

39. Literally anything can turn him on if it’s his partner- just the fact he has a partner that likes having sex with him turns him on

40. Whenever you give BeN head or a handjob, he has to grip the sheets as he cums- otherwise he teleports somewhere

41. Ben loves to call you “Honey” or “Baby” during sex, it’s a subconscious thing

42. Ben dislikes shower sex- he’ll shower with you- but no sex. Water sex is a big no for him

43. He loves it when you cockwarm him, just having you sit on his cock while he games is actual heaven on earth

44. He also likes fucking you while he’s in the middle of a game, especially a public one with his friends so you’re forced to quiet down. The dominant part of him fucking loves it

45. Wearing green makes him super flustered, green lingerie makes him panic a little

46. If you wear his hoodies, tunics, or shirts- he will fuck the ever living shit out of you. “You just look so fucking good, Baby~”

47. BeN doesn’t need to sleep- so sometimes he just kinda stares at you once you fall asleep after the deed has been done

48. If you woke him up with morning head- he will be so thankful. He might cry tears of joy, he’ll definitely pamper you all day

49. He might hate hurting you, but he loves it when you hurt him. He’s a massive masochist, please bite him, scratch him, pull his hair, just don’t get too aggressive- otherwise he’ll pin you down

50. bEN hates having sex anywhere other than his bedroom, he just thinks it’s gross

51. BeN is usually doesn’t take charge when he’s on top, he just listens to you

52. But when he’s dominant..? You need to beg that man to slow down.. otherwise that bed is going to break from how rough he’s being with you

53. BEN has a mirror in his room- He’ll bend you over in front of it and make you look at yourself as he fucks you from behind

54. He’ll cum wherever you tell him too- but god does he love watching his cum drip out of you~

55. Whenever it’s a planned sex night- he has a sex playlist for the both of you to listen to as he makes you feel good

56. He loves putting a collar and leash on you, he pulls it extra hard to make that back arch like a good girl..~ (or boy ;P)

57. BeN has an extreme sex drive, he can go for hours without a break- it might also help he’s a ghost(?)

58. BEn is usually on the more gentle side- but when he is being rough? Oh honey you better invest in wheelchairs because your legs will not be functional

59. BEN loves to get high with you and then have sex- it’s just a pleasant experience to be in

60. When BEN is high, he’s actually very mellowed out- causing him to be a lot quieter during sex

61. BEN is a gamer, he knows how to use his fingers. He’s also a quick learner

62. BEN is willing to try and kink you’re interested in- but he’ll never tell you the ones he’s interested in first..

63. He loves it when you pull his hair, he lets out the cutest whimpers when you do it

64. One time you dressed up as Zelda for Halloween- you two fucked for a while that night

65. When BEN has sex- his mind is clouded, he doesn’t have a filter, and he doesn’t think about what he says- anything he says during sex is true to him

66. BEN has a tongue piercing.. do with this what you will

67. BeN loves it when you ride his face- he’s literally in heaven while you do it

68. BEN loves holding you close during sex- feeling your body heat, listening to your heartbeat, rubbing his body against your sweaty one, it just makes him feel so human and he loves you even more for it

69. BEN unironically loves to 69 with you ;)