#keano

[existence-is-overrated]

Pre-match walk!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇳🇱

[cdoett]

[hive-honey]

10/27 Brentford v Ipswich 4-3

[player1064]

small little tiny gary and his captain on my mind today

[zingaplanet]

So here's a recap of what happened so far at the pundit world cup:

Roy was caught going shopping with Wrighty (THEY WERE PLAYING MINI MALL FOOTBALL. I REPEAT: MINI MALL FOOTBALL). You couldn't tell if it's more traumatizing for the people of Qatar or for Roy.

Gary's still eating weetabix and going to the gym every morning. Him and Wrighty apparently also made Roy pay for their weetabix and yoghurt but his golden credit card was declined at the till in Doha ("it's past my 50 quid daily allowance") he had to text his wife Theresa to up his daily allowance LOL

The pundits have created a real-life multiverse of madness: The BBC-ITV cross pundit matches. Micah get put in goal, Roy threw himself back to 1998 and scored an off-the-ground goal. Celebrations were had, shirts were thrown off, grown middle-aged men were making sandwich piles, chaosness was ensued.

The sky team (Keano, Nev, Micah) dragged the other british pundits to a night out last week where Keano was said to teach G Nev how to "dance with his hips" 🥲💀

Roy Keane did a Roy Keane for a couple days in the qualifier cos he's Roy Keane and entitled to do some Roy Keane-ing

There is some bad news tho, this world cup has not been great for the spouses left behind and many have been seen roaming round in public desperate, like wild animals deprived of their mating cycles. PDAs have been through the roofs and it's not even christmas yet:

[leximitchells]

sheanu fans how does it feel to finally lose

[jackbatchelor3]

Did that copper say KeanO?

[underwater-i-will-go]

dear to me !

[killa-trav]

roy keane and mark webber would be besties if they met irl, can they meet pls for me???

[lilithsaintcrow]

Soundtrack Monday: Goodnight, California

The Salt-Black Tree releases tomorrow, and I am very nervous. Release days are always difficult, and I like to have a heavy workload whenever one comes around. Focusing on something else is a good distraction. Writing Nat’s story was almost an exorcism. I knew precisely where the ending scene was, and anticipated it feverishly as I drew near the end of the tale. As soon as Spring clambered onto…

[babygirlgalitzine]

and criminal keanu is back

[carraville-barlowen]

An ‘old married couple’ you say, Keano?

Yeah, we can all agree

[player1064]

Still doing drabbles? How about after filming the podcast roy "nobody-fucks-with-gary-but-me" keano walks in on jamie cheekily pinning gary down/against the wall or something and is about to throw hands before gary awkwardly explains his former captain that yes he and the scouser are in fact a couple and yes he is very much consenting being manhandled by the said scouser

YES LETS GOOOOO I love love love the way Roy used to talk about Gary and about how he needed like. protecting... and the way he was always like 'but Gary's so small' babe you're the same height...........

---

There’d been a weird sort of tension in the air when they’d been recording the podcast today, though Roy seems to have been the only one to notice. Maybe it’s that Jill and Ian haven’t been putting up with Gary as long as he has (more than half his life now, Jesus), so they’re not as attuned to all his moods.

But he had definitely been in a mood, he’d been sneaking glances at Jamie like he was waiting for a bubble to burst, and Jamie had barely looked at him at all. Which, for Jamie, is definitely enough to ring warning bells.

As they’re heading out for the day, Ian asks if they’re on for their usual pub lunch, but out of the corner of his eye he sees Gary looking around shiftily before disappearing off into one of the offices down the corridor and he figures he’d better check up on him first. He tells Ian he’ll meet him at the pub in a bit, then sticks his hands in his pockets and wanders down the corridor like he couldn’t care less where he ends up.

Except, all of that perfectly practiced disinterest goes flying out the window when he hears a chair clattering to the ground, hears the thud of something (someone, from the sounds of it) being shoved against a wall.

It’s not that Gary’s special, mind you, or that Roy feels any particular sort of attachment to him. It’s just that, well, he sort of is attached to him, isn’t he? Can’t seem to ever shake him off his tail. And he’d do the same for any of his former teammates, of course he would, but none of his former teammates ever got into half as much trouble as Gary did.

And it’s just – Gary’s so small. Even now, with all ninety kilograms of him, he seems dwarfed by everyone he meets. So when Roy hears that thud, he doesn’t have to think about it at all before he strides to the door of the meeting room and bursts through it.

And of course, just his luck – it’s Jamie bloody Carragher who’s got Gary pinned to the wall, one hand dangerously close to his throat. His body is pressed close to Gary’s, and he’s got a few inches on him and he boxes, doesn’t he? Every day, he’d said once, so there’s no hope for Gary getting out of this on his own.

Gary’s frozen in place, looking up at Jamie with wide eyes, his mouth partly open like he’d been in the middle of saying something when Roy had come clattering in. Instantly, though, his eyes dart to Roy and his cheeks flush red as Jamie jumps off him. In a split second he’s put a good metre or so of space between them, keeping his hands in the air.

“Roy, fuck,” Gary says, breathless, “I didn’t realise anyone else was still ‘ere.”

“And good thing I was, eh?” he says, careful, measured. Because Roy Keane is in his fifties now, and he does not lose his cool. He turns to Jamie. “What the fuck d’you think you’re doing, Jamie! I’ve always thought you were a decent guy, but look at yourself, getting all up in Gary’s face when there’s nobody around to defend him.”

“Roy –” Gary tries to cut in, like he’s embarrassed that he’s still getting picked on after all these years, that he’s still an easy target.

Roy puts a hand up to stop him from talking. “We’re grown men! Whatever stupid thing Gary’s said or done this time can’t justify coming to blows, and even if it did it’s hardly a fair match now is it?”

“Roy –” Gary tries again.

“No, look, he should pick on someone his own size! Or better, just not pick on anyone at all! Honestly, how old are you again?”

“Roy,” Gary says, a little more forcefully this time. “We weren’t fighting.”

“Well that’s what I’m saying! It’s only a fight if it’s equal sided!”

“No, Roy.” He clears his throat. “Roy, um. That’s not – I mean, it weren’t –”

Gary shoots a desperate sort of look to Jamie, who steps towards Roy, hands still raised, and says “what he’s tryin’ to say is he was about twenty seconds away from stickin’ his hand down my pants, 'til you came in.”

“James,” Gary hisses, blushing even deeper.

Oh.

Well, that does make more sense, doesn’t it? All the – the touching, and the looks, and the fucking giggles that Roy’s been having to put up with for months now from the two of them. It does make sense.

“I wouldn’t, Roy,” Jamie says, and Roy must be glaring because he still sounds scared, like he’s tiptoeing around him. “I wouldn’t hurt ‘im. You must know that.”

Gary lets out a little high pitched hum, then claps a hand over his own mouth when both Roy and Jamie snap their heads to him.

The glare Jamie shoots him, combined with Gary’s face being redder than Roy had thought humanly possible, tells him far more than he ever wanted to know.

“Nope!” he declares, pointing between the two of them, “not another word out of yous. Gary, the sentiment from earlier still stands – you’re one of my own and if Jamie hurts you – don’t make that noise again or I swear to God – if he hurts you emotionally, like, I’ll kill him. Now please, please can we all pretend this never happened and that I know a normal amount about what the two of you like to do in the bedroom, and by a normal amount I mean I know nothing. Okay?”

They both nod silently.

“Fine. I’m off to the pub, then. See you next week.”

[frostysimsx]

My legacy Family

Parents : Crystal Frost & Duane Frost

Kids from oldest to youngest :

- Nemo Frost

- Ocean Frost

- Keano Frost

- Kai Frost

Nemo and Ocean are twins

Keano and Kai are twins

[jackbatchelor3]

The way Phil pronounces Keanu as 'Keano'.

🤭🤭🤭

[underwater-i-will-go]

this was fun!

i've been rather quite recently because all i really do is work but i went down to berlin on sunday to catch the public viewing and obviously it wasn't a really pleasant night but in the end i linked up with a group of random england fans after the game and we went to several bars and pubs together getting drunk until like 5am and it was one of the best nights of my life.

at some point the seven of us were standing in a circle just rambling and when i was asked who my favourite everton player is since i wore my kit without a name on it i just went "nah you're gonna laugh at me" and everyone started guessing until one went "don't let it be one certain cb" and from then on i was just known as "michael keane" for the rest of the night. whenever we would bump into another group of fans everyone would let them know that my favourite player is keane and make me show them the signed trading card i have in my phone case and my "do not fear keano is here" tattoo and everyone would take the piss out of me. love me a bit of banter.