#kdrama level if you know what I mean

[inkdoe]

“Ah, they don’t kiss in the game? Fine I’ll do that myself.”

[babiebom]

bachelors and their weird kinks/turn ons perhaps 👀

A/N: it took a LOT for me to find weird things that arent gross(literally shit or dead people sorry if you’re into these) and even then I don’t even think these are weird but there’s only so many sites that I can go on to find weird kinks or even kinks in general. Fun fact there’s a kink for watching people fall down the stairs!! Keep in mind I’m talking about these fetishes and kinks from my own memory from looking them up lmao.

Tw:nsfw like all of it, cursing etc let me know if I should tag anything else!!

Bc: at least 4 for each? One for what the kink is and one for the explanation?

Stardew Valley Masterlist

Sebastian

Dacryphilia the kink or fetish for watching or causing someone to cry(positive or negative). A kink for tears if you will

I don’t know if I’ve talked about this before (I might’ve?) but dude has a major crying kink. Like he needs to make you cry while having sex. In this instance it’s a good crying. Like from how good his dick feels inside you. How good it feels when he moves, when he touches you. It’s like overstimulation but the crying is the main thing he wants.

Somnophilia the kink or fetish for having sex with someone while they’re asleep.

AGAIN this is all consensual but he likes the way you look when you’re asleep. You’re fully content and relaxed, no troubles or worries. He just wants to make you feel even better to send you to a new level of paradise. And the way that you are free in your reactions instead of holding everything back. All of your sounds and the way you move…it just gets him off in a different way.

Sam

Katoptronophilia the kink or fetish for watching yourself or others have sex in a mirror

I think this kink more so has to do with his partner. I do think he would get off with watching you or him fucking you in a mirror. Like you both can see your own faces and it’s just hot how you can see how good he’s making you feel and the other way around. It’s like his recordings kink but in real time.

Claustrophilia the kink or fetish for tight spaces literally the opposite of claustrophobia

I think he would like the whole stuck in a small closet together thing or the whole (if you’ve seen kdramas bc this is the only time I’ve seen it) hiding from someone in a tight space and being forced to be close or touching.

Shane

Shibari the fetish or kink of Japanese bondage. It’s more artistic than regular bondage and can sometimes be nonsexual(meaning it can just be for the act of being tied/tying someone up)

I do think Shane might have a artistic side to him, he loves his blue chickens and even though he hasn’t particularly shown that he likes art I think he’d appreciate this form. Like yeah it has bdsm tones and he likes that, but he likes the time taken to tie you up, the time it takes to make the ropes look pretty on you. It gets the both of you riled up so the sex might be more passionate.

Electrostimulation the fetish or kink to being stimulated or stimulating someone with electricity

Oh dude is definitely a sadomasochist. He wants to shock you, he wants to be shocked (partially because he wants to feel something other than mental and emotional pain). It’s never so much that it hurts too much but it’s a little stinging sensation that he can’t get enough of.

Harvey

Quirofilia the kink or fetish for hands, but well taken care of/pretty hands

Oh I think Harvey HAS to take of his hands. As a doctor I think he would be happy if someone complemented how soft his hands were or how clean they looked. And on the other hand(heheheh) he would appreciate how nice your hands look, how soft they feel, how good they feel when touching him.

Breeding/Pregnancy the kink or fetish for pregnant people or getting someone pregnant. It has nothing to do with the child itself but the person carrying the child.

NGL I think once you two come to an agreement about pregnancy(in this case you agree to start trying for kids) Harvey is absolutely going to go batshit insane with this new development. Before he would’ve never said that this is something he’s into but once you two agree he’s so pumped up and actually starts talking dirty if he didn’t before. It’s crazy how different he is during this time.

Alex

Anasteemaphilia the kink or fetish for extreme size differences so either a giant or a dwarf(I hope this word isn’t offensive it’s what the website used)

Dude would NEVER reveal this but actually would love a giant girlfriend. I think because of the lowkey misogynistic views he has he would like a bigger woman and a smaller man. He would LOVE lady dimitrescu from resident evil. Like bffr.

Food Play the kink or fetish of involving food during intercourse so either eating it off each other or involving it in some way

Oh absolutely would love to eat food off of you and would want you to lick stuff off of him. Like whipped cream and chocolate syrup are MUSTS if you’re having a particularly long night. He thinks it’s so erotic to eat and consume stuff off of each other that don’t really have anything to do with sex.

Elliott

Psellismophilia the kink or fetish for stuttering

One of the weird ones I found. I think he would think it’s cute and if you do have a stutter or happen to stutter when you’re nervous he’s going to have such a confidence booster because of it. Like YES keep stumbling over your words and stuttering it actually is cute to him and he feels like he’s in a book or a movie or something.

Podophilia the kink or fetish for feet

I think this one is obvious? I think he’d prefer beautiful people and that includes feet. In a lot of erotic movies and books and even in romance books feet have some sort of importance to them. Whether it’s used to dominate someone or to pleasure someone he likes beautiful feet. He wants you to step on him(not in a rough way) and tbh I could see him wanting to recreate the scene in that one tarentino(is this his name) movie where he casts himself in the role that drinks I think alcohol from that woman’s food after it runs down her leg.

[luffytheworld]

Hidden feelings

A/N: Hihi! First mini(?) series about cute kdrama romantic school au for luffy bc i love him and i’ve been bringing dramas lately. :P enjoy!! Also i wrote this through hs and i’m barely now uploading it bc.. why not. So bare with me with the writing and updating T_T it’s not yet completed.

Pairing: Luffy x Fem reader.

Warnings: mid writing (first work published …) & cursing.

Word Count: 2.4k.

Chapter 1: Yearning

The sun shone brightly over Grand Line High School, signaling the start of another typical school day. Students filled the hallways, chatting excitedly about their weekend plans. Among the crowd, you walked quietly, blending into the background as you always did.

It was start of your lunch period and you were making your way to the cafeteria, hoping to find your lunch table mates. It was your first year here at Grand Line and even after 3 months into the school year, you had yet to make stable friends. Sure, you had your lunch table mates who were welcoming and kind enough to let you sit with them and avoid sitting alone at lunch. Even so, they didn’t really make an effort to talk to you outside of class.

Lost in your own thoughts, you failed to notice Tashigi approaching you in the hall.

“Hey Y/N. You’re heading to lunch?” Tashigi’s voice cut through the hallway noise, her glasses slightly askew and her bright smile, walking alongside you.

You nodded and offered a small smile in return. “Yeah I am.”

As you walked down the bustling hallways, Tashigi chatted animatedly about history class, her words flowing in a stream of excitement. You listened attentively, nodding and offering a few soft responses here and there. Preferring to observe and listen rather than dominating conversations, you find comfort in the background.

“You know, I think I finally understand that chapter about the Void Century,” Tashigi said, adjusting her glasses. “I mean, Professor Clover explains it well, but it’s so much to take in!”

You smiled slightly, appreciating Tashigi’s enthusiasm. “Yeah, it’s a lot of information. You did well on the last quiz, though.”

Tashigi’s face lit up with pride. “Thanks! I’ve been studying hard. What about you? How do you feel about it?”

“It’s interesting,” Y/N replied softly. “So much mystery. Makes you wonder what really happened.”

You both approached the cafeteria and told Tashigi that you would be lining up for the food offered at the cafeteria today. “Ah okay. I heard from Vivi that they’ll be serving sandwiches. Go now so the line doesn’t get too long.” Tashigi said and motioned to go sit at your lunch table, who you saw Vivi, Cody and Shirahosi already settled in.

You hummed and made your way to the kitchen line. The noise level had increased from the halls to the cafeteria has increased. The air filled with the chatter and laugher of students. Nearing the line, you noticed a familiar group of students already lined up. It was the Strawhat Club.

A group of chaotic and energetic filled students, whom you had no idea what their club was even focused but they seemed to always stick with each other and cause chaos here and there. You were however, kinda familiar with their leader. Luffy.

You observed and saw Luffy at the front of the line, animatedly talking with Usopp and Nami. Luffy’s laugher was infectious, his energy seemingly boundless. He was effortlessly charming, always drawing people to him like a magnet. Very known throughout the school, mostly from causing lots of trouble and bothering a couple of teachers.

As you inched forward the line, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of longing seeing Luffy so vibrant and happy. Your mind drifted back to the moment you first fell for him—a memory you cherished secretly.

It was a rainy afternoon a few months ago, and you were struggling to carry a stack of heavy boxes filled with supplies for art class. You managed to get them halfway down the hall when you tripped, the boxes teetering precariously. You just laid there, fighting the urge to cry. You were already having the most saddest and shittiest day recently and you couldn’t even muster the courage to get up and pick the loaded boxes.

“Need a hand?” a cheerful voice called out from afar.

You heard and quickly composed yourself, looking up to see one of you the students here, Luffy, wearing his signature cap turned back and a bright grin on his face. Without waiting for your response, he grabbed the boxes from the floor and steadied the rest with ease.

“Thanks,” You mumbled, feeling your cheeks warm.

“No problem! These look heavy,” Luffy said, effortlessly lifting the boxes as if they weighed nothing. He carried them to the art room, setting them down with a satisfied sigh. “There you go!”

You smiled shyly. “Thank you. That was really kind of you.”

Luffy grinned and waved it off. “Anytime! See you around.”

With that, he was off, joining his friends down the other hall. For Luffy, it was just a brief, friendly interaction, one of many in his day.

But for you, it was a moment that changed everything. His genuine kindness and the way he acknowledged your existence left a lasting impression, especially with some past events that had left your heart feeling heavy. From that day forward though, you found yourself intrigued and looking forward to getting glimpses of him in the hallways and during lunch breaks.

You became familiar with his friend group as well, observing and learning some of his friend’s name and attitudes. Which is why it didn’t surprise you that the reason why the line was sightly being held up was due to a certain moss headed individual and one of the kitchen’s student chief volunteers as well as Luffy’s friend, Sanji. Their bickering over the food options had amused you, forming a little smile your face but, was really holding up the line now.

You were startled by the loud yelling behind you.

“HURRY UP AND GET YOUR SHIT!” A certain red headed dude exclaimed. Eustass Kid. You were acquaintance with him before through a past… somebody. He had always scared you, not just with his big tall built, which suited his position in the wrestling team but with his loud angering attitude.

The arguing between the 2 from before had stopped and the group ahead served their lunches and moved out the line. Finally, it was your turn to get her lunch. Kid’s yelling from before had tensed you up so you quickly picked up a tray and moved toward the sandwich station, where Sanji was serving as a lunch volunteer. His blond hair fell elegantly over one eye, and he wore a charming smile that surely made the girls in line blush.

“Well, well, if it isn’t a lovely lady.” Sanji said with a playful wink. “What can I get for you today, beautiful? We’ve got ham and cheese, turkey, or a classic BLT.”

You felt her cheeks heat up under his gaze, used to having someone flirt at you even if you knew he’s known to do that with every girl near him. Still you managed to keep your composure. “I’ll have a turkey sandwich, please.”

“Excellent choice,” Sanji said, swiftly preparing the sandwich with a flourish. “Anything for you, my dear. How about some extra lettuce and tomatoes? Just for you.”

“Anything is fine.” you softly replied.

Sanji finished the sandwich and handed it to you with a dramatic bow. “Here you go. Made with extra care.”

“Thank you,” you gestured your tray up.

“Anytime, mademoiselle,” Sanji replied, his eyes twinkling.

With your tray in hand, you looked around for your lunch table again. The cafeteria was crowded, but seeing one of your lunch table mates fall figure, Shirahoshi, made it easier to spot your table. You made your way over, setting your tray down and taking a seat.

“Hi Y/N!” Your lunch table greeted.

Unpacked lunch boxes and books loaded with worksheets filled most of the table.

Shirahoshi sent you a cheerful smile and offered one of her yogurts to you. You smiled and kindly declined.

Observing the rest of your friends. Vivi was writing her little heart away in what you assumed was an essay prompt worksheet and Koby with Tashigi, quizzing each other using one of those heavy thick books loaded up with Marine corps information.

All of them wearing their signature student council vests. Sitting with them made you stick out like a thumb, since you didn’t have the beige colored uniform they were awarded with for being part of Student Council.

You continued eating your lunch quietly, every once in a while contributing to the conversations in the table but even so, still reserved and isolated. While you greatly appreciated them, you didn’t really feel connected with your friends. All of them were really close with one another due to the club they're all in, leaving you left out from many conversafions and activities they do.

You didn’t mind it though. They really influenced you to maintain your outstanding grades and care for your future after graduation. You were also very use to the solitude and isolation, both during in and outside of school. You had to admit though, it sucked missing out on many accompanied experiences and you missed having solid friends.

Lunch period went on and you remained quiet and reserved. Your vision drifting the table where Luffy and his friends sit at. You observed them and noticed their perfect dynamic. Luffy being the heart of the group. Teasing and bickering with one another, their affection unmistakable.

You longed to be part of something like that—a close-knit group of friends who accepted each other unconditionally, flaws and all. The groups table was a whirlwind of chaos and joy, a vivid contrast to your own quiet, isolated tiny space. Even with the yearning to be part of them, be part of Luffy’s bubble, you deemed you were not fit for such group. Your quiet and unnoticed character didn’t blend in with theirs.

That was okay. You found solace in your own quiet company, observing the world around you and cherishing the small, unnoticed moments.

~

The rest of the school day flew by in a blur for you. After lunch, you kept to herself, moving from one class to another, focusing entirely on your studies. Taking detailed notes and completing your assignments with care. Interactions with your classmates were minimal, your reserved nature making her almost invisible in the bustling environment of Grand Line High School.

As the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, you packed up your things and made your way to the locker hall. The hallways, usually bustling with students, were quieter than usual today due to a late dismissal. You had to quickly for a favor of turning in papers to the office from your chemistry teacher, Caesar Clown. Seriously whose name is clown…

Most students had already left, leaving the school eerily calm.

You closed her locker and turned to leave, only to bump into a familiar figure. Your books and papers scattered across the floor, and you found herself face-to-face with Luffy, his wide grin and bright eyes catching you off guard.

"Hey, Y/N, right?" he said, his voice cheerful and energetic.

Startled, you blinked in surprise. "Uh, hi, Luffy," you replied softly, your voice barely audible in the nearly empty hallway. Quickly kneeling to pick up your scattered belongings, feeling your cheeks warm slightly with embarrassment.

Luffy immediately crouched down to help, his grin never wavering. "You hang out with Vivi sometimes, don’t you? I think I’ve seen you with her.

"Yeah, we sit together at lunch," You said, fumbling to gather your things. You weren’t used to being the center of attention, especially not from someone as popular as Luffy.

As you both stood up, your hands brushed briefly, causing you to pull yours back quickly. Luffy didn’t seem to notice, his attention already shifting to the empty hallway. "Cool," he said, nodding. He then glanced around, a look of slight concern crossing his face. "Hey, have you seen a yellow with red cap around here? I think I might've dropped it."

You heart skipped a beat. You shook her head. "No, I haven’t seen it today," your voice soft. "But I can help you look for it if you want."

Luffy’s face lit up with his characteristic grin. "Really? Thanks! I was just heading this way, so maybe it fell somewhere nearby."

Together, you started retracing his steps. You tried to focus on looking for the hat, but you just couldn’t help but steal glances at Luffy. His carefree nature and the way he treated everyone so kindly made your heart flutter.

As you both moved through the quiet hallway and out to the courtyard, Luffy chatted easily about his day, sharing funny anecdotes and laughing. You listened, smiling at his stories, feeling more at ease with every step.

After a few minutes, Luffy sighed, scratching his head. "Guess it’s really gone, huh? I’ll have to look for it again tomorrow."

You nodded, feeling a mix of guilt and anticipation. "Yeah, maybe it will turn up."

Luffy looked at you with genuine appreciation. "You’re really nice, Y/N. We should hang out more often."

You felt your warm warm at his words, and you nodded shyly. "Yeah, maybe."

As they parted ways, You felt a warmth in her chest. Your interaction had been brief, but it left you with a feeling of hope and excitement. For Luffy, it was just a simple request for help, another moment in his busy day. But for you, it was something more—a fleeting connection that made you feel seen and acknowledged.

As you walked home, you took a different route through the school courtyard to get home and to your bus stop faster.

It was there, under a bench, that you spotted a crumpled, dirty yellow striped with red hat. Your heart raced as you picked it up, recognizing it immediately as Luffy’s. The brim was torn, and it looked like it had been stepped on.

Without a second thought, you decided to take it home. Once at home, you cleaned the hat, mended the tear, and restored it as best you could. As you worked, you thought about how surprised Luffy would be when you returned it to him the next day.

You will finally have a reason to approach him again, and with any luck, it could be the beginning of something new. You hoped, but mostly for courage and confident to even approach Luffy.

For now, you felt a tiny spark of hope. Maybe, just maybe, you weren’t as invisible as you thought. And maybe there was a chance for you to find a place among the chaos and camaraderie that is Luffy’s bubble.

To be continued…

a/n: yay! first ever work. sorry if it’s boring rn i just like story building n small details. luffy soon. new chap soon. as well.

[dorayakichan]

I love your writing and that you're doing wind breaker content!! Would you please write more content for Joker? Man's is beautiful and I headcanon he's a sweetheart with the right people 🫶

Joker(being a lovely boyfriend) x gn!reader (Fluffy, slight angst)

“Does falling in love make the world a better place?” you had once asked yourself while watching another one of those cute romance kdramas where the female lead and the male lead were able to save everyone and have a happy ending. Yet, for as long as you had lived which I would say wasn’t that much you had not been able to give a proper answer to that question until you met him.

Joker wasn’t the normal type of bad guy you had more than once encountered in your life. He worked hard, he was ruthless. To add to that he surrounded himself with the worst kind of people, yet that wasn’t enough to define him. How could such a background define the man you had fallen for anyway?

If it was true then you wouldn’t have even thrown a glance at him the first time you both met. You wouldn’t have rushed to help him when you once saw him bruised after beating down some guys who had tried to ambush him. You wouldn’t have smiled at him so sweetly, giving sweet words of encouragement every time you encountered each-other in the streets and you noticed his lifeless expression.

Maybe it was you who had given life to his once dull world. Maybe it was the warmth your eyes expressed when you gazed at him. You were not sure. But one thing was for sure Joker was nothing but the softest when it came to you.

“Can I come with you today?” You had asked him once as he was living for his job. That was when he found out how you entirely dominated his soul and body with your existence. It was hard for him to say no to you, not because he couldn’t but because the glimmer in your eyes, the sweet melody of your voice, the electricity of your touch, was able to enchant him to a point where he knew he couldn’t go back from anymore.

He didn’t want to anyway.

And even though he was worried, he had no doubt, that if even a wrong look was thrown at you he would beat down to a pulp anyone who dared. He was ready to protect you, even if it wasn’t the best idea even if it wasn’t safe he knew he would do anything so he could keep that smile on your face.

Even if it meant going against Wooin he would in a heartbeat for you. That’s why he had tried so much to keep you as far away from him as possible even when he got to know about your existence. It all was going well until that one day. As he had beat another opponent he was about to open the door of his changing room when he heard Wooin’s voice coming from inside.

“You know he is not on the same level as you. None of this is on your level anyway. This place, this lifestyle, and your boyfriend too.” “Speak clearly, what do you want? And what do you mean not on my level?” he heard your anger filled voice asking Wooin.

“Can’t you see that you are a good girl, with a good family, a good life, and a promising future? Yet, you follow Joker around. Can’t you see you are way above him? Way better than him?”

“First off, what does our background have to do with me dating him? And why are you even telling me this?"

“Cuz it looks like you’re playing with him and it’s not like I care much about that fact. You can do anything you want. But because of you he has become softer and can’t do his job right.”

“What do you mean by playing with him? Why would you even say that? In fact, I don’t care what you think or say I’m not breaking up with him or listening to whatever you’re spewing out of that mouth of yours. So get out!”

“Hah, you really…” But Wooin was unable to finish his sentence as Joker opened the door right that instant. Both of you stopped talking as he entered inside.

“And here he comes,”

Wooin smirked, noticing Joker’s facial expression. A thud was heard, startling both you and Wooin as your eyes fell on the wall, smashed by Joker’s powerful hit. Blood started gushing out of it, as you gasped.

“Get out!”

Joker’s words were demanding and concise, filled with rage as he walked past Wooin sitting on one of the stools, in the changing room.

“GET OUT!”

he shouted with a scary expression on his face as he glared at Wooin. “HAH…sure sure! Have it your way!” The man went out leaving both of you two as complete silence reigned over the room.

“Your hand.”

Your trembling voice was the first to break the silence. His previously lowered head didn’t move as he let out a sigh. “I...I don't know if you heard everything or not but I would never play with you.” You continued. “I...I love being with you, you are important to me you know that.” Still no response, as your eyes welled up.

“I..” the broken sound that came out of your mouth was what made him raise his head, wide eyes staring at your teary face.

He came rushing to you, engulfing you in a hug. “Shhh, don’t cry!” “I know, I know I have never doubted you.” You stilled, hearing those words.

“Then why are you…” “Because he is right, I’m not good for you. You deserve way more than me.” You pushed him a bit coming face to face with Joker. “What do you mean you are not good for me? You are perfect, there is no one better than you for me.”

“I can’t make you always smile, I can’t give you whatever you want. I don’t have enough money to take you to expensive places when we go on dates. I don’t even have enough time for us to date. I can’t make you as happy as you deserve to be…” he clenched his jaw, throwing his gaze at the floor unable to stare into your eyes.

“I understand.”

His heart stopped hearing those words for a second afraid of what was to come next.

“I understand how you may feel but haven’t you realized it yet?” His eyes fell back on yours.

“Realize what?”

“The efforts, the thoughts and determination to make me happy, the way how you’re changing, slowly showing more of yourself as you can see that I like that. Don’t you realize that what you are doing makes you already a perfect boyfriend? The most perfect boyfriend out there! Materials, wealth we can work on that part slowly together. You don’t have to be well off for me to be good enough. Because for me you already are.” He couldn’t say anything as each and every single word of yours made his heart beat faster and faster. You were his blessing, the greatest blessing of his life!

“I love you!” He told you as he proceeded to kiss you. 

And you finally found the answer to that question you had asked once a long time ago.

Falling in love didn’t precisely make a better place, but falling in love made a person's point of view about the world change for the better. And that was all both of you needed.

[introspectivememories]

what's wrong with data analyst bernard?

summary: tim's a workaholic ceo. bernard is, to put it simply, a down-on-his-luck loser with a kid to take care of. somewhere along the line, they meet. (very loosely based on the 2018 hit kdrama, "what's wrong with secretary kim?")

A/N: for @chamiryokuroi bc this fanart has given me brainrot since the moment i saw it. but also bc, i missed writing and your art helped. i hope you like it. (more notes at the end.) (AO3 LINK)

Today is a good day, Bernard thinks happily, brand new ID badge bouncing on his tie. It's his first day at Wayne Ent. and Mori had sent him off with a hug and muttered, "have a good day, Tou-san." It's been bouncing around in his head all day. Tou-san, Tou-san, Tou-san, he's really a dad now. He's got to make sure Mori has everything he needs and this new job is going to make sure he can do that.

Shaking his head once to clear it, he takes a sip of the complimentary coffee a team member bought him for his first day. His team leader, Young-joon Lee, is taking him on a tour of the building. Young-joon is a wonderful man in his late 30s but it's very clear that he's been consumed by the office lifestyle.

"...and here is our magnificent lobby!" Young-joon is saying as he tunes back in. His team leader spreads his arms wide out as he speaks, "Everyone knows the lobby but it's my personal philosophy that making friends or at least being on amicable terms with the ground floor staff will make your life easier."

Bernard laughs politely, "I know what you mean. I can't tell you how many times being nice to the host at the restaurant I used to work at saved my butt during rush hour."

"A man after my own heart!" Young-joon says, smiling widely as he leads him to the help desk.

Bernard tilts his head up to look at the skylight. It's a gorgeous thing with little animal motifs running alongside it. It lights up the lobby bringing a welcoming feeling into it. With the sunlight pouring into the room, along with the din of busy workers in slacks running to and fro, it really feels like stepping into a movie.

Are you seeing me Darls?, he thinks with a childlike glee, hand coming up to thumb at his badge again, I made it!

"This, my friend," Young-joon says, pulling up to the help-desk, "is our wonder-duo. Tamara and Abhishek. They practically run this building. Lord knows we'd be tripping all over ourselves without them."

Tamara and Abhishek smile as they get introduced.

"They run this building?" he asks confusedly.

"You see, young padawan," Abhishek says, "not only do we help the people that come in here asking questions or for instructions, we also answer any questions the staff has for us."

"Things like, 'What's HR’s number?' or 'Can you page Data for me?' or 'No seriously, I'm calling HR on this man right now. What is their number?'" Tamara says grinning.

Bernard laughs. It feels like that's all he's been doing since he got here. "You have to tell me the story on that one day."

"Sorry," Tamara says, faux-apologetic, "the minimum clearance on that story is half-a-year. Gotta level up."

His cheeks hurt from smiling. This is his and Mori's new beginning. This is where they level up. Nothing's gonna stop him now.

"Do you know the story behind that one?" he asks, turning to Young-joon.

"Of course! But where would be the fun in telling you? You have to stay the six months and if luck comes my way, longer."

"You want me for longer?"

"Of course, I saw the way you worked during those practice problems in the interview. I had to fight the other team leaders for you. It was brutal."

"Get back I say!" Young-joon says, miming a sword fight. A pleased warmth builds in his chest; they wanted him, they wanted him!

Darls you better be fucking watching this. I'm movin' up in the world.

"Ooh, send me that footage. I wanna see our newest recruits skills," Abhishek says.

"You got the data team fighting over you?" Tamara asks, eyebrows raised, "I wanna see it—"

Whatever she was going to say is cut off by the sound of both of their pagers pinging. Immediately going stock still, they start typing on their computers.

Bernard turns to Young-joon confused but his team leader looks like nothing is out of the ordinary.

"The boss is coming." Young-joon says, like that's a reasonable explanation for two people shutting down in the middle of the conversation, "It's always quite a spectacle and they always have to notify the other execs. Just watch."

Still, the boss? Maybe Bruce Wayne will say 'hi' to him and he'll charm the CEO and Mr. Wayne can figure out a way to—

No, no. He's done making those kinds of fantasies. Nobody is coming to help. Bernard is going to figure out his life on his own, he is going to take such good care of his kid, and he is not going to wait for some rich billionaire to swoop in and take care of him. He got this far didn't he? He'll get even farther.

He and his team leader lean against the help desk sipping coffee as they wait for the CEO to come in and sure enough, a black Rolls Royce pulls up to the driveway in the front. The minute the door opens, flashes from the paparazzi's cameras start going off. Out steps a bodyguard in a black suit with an umbrella opened. From below the umbrella he sees a nice pair of brown loafers step out. The CEO seems to be wearing a navy blue suit today. The paparazzi roars and the flashes increase.

"Oh wow," a man remarks a few feet away from him, "the circus is strong today, huh?" His friend laughs.

A woman wearing red heels steps out after the CEO, the paparazzi flashes decrease dramatically. More bodyguards exit after the woman and form a square around the CEO and his assistant/secretary. They shuffle towards the entrance where he sees the elderly doormen greet the executives with a smile. Whatever they say is lost to the sound of the city but the doormen laugh and push the doors open.

Young-joon's been making small talk throughout the entrance and Bernard tries to keep up but whatever the hell is going on at the entrance is way more interesting than anything his team leader is talking about. As they enter the guards spread out and dissolve the square. The woman comes into view first, red heels with a black slacks and a white button down. She's holding a long coat in one hand and a laptop bag slung over her shoulder. She's gorgeous and clearly the one in charge, going by the way she barks orders at the guards.

Young-joon says something and he turns around to respond, grabbing his coffee cup off the desk counter. His CEO's loafers tap across the lobby's marble floor, something about it is comforting. A lull in the room's conversations causes the CEO's voice to carry over.

"...Tam, make sure the quarterly reports are on my desk by at least 4 today and make sure to push back the sales meeting by 30 minutes to an hour, the board wants to talk — Oh Mr. Bardakcı! Thank you for stay—..."

Bernard's heart jackrabbits in his chest. He knows that voice but- it can't be. It's not possible; he chose Wayne Enterprises for a reason. He's not supposed to be here. He's supposed to be at his father's company. Unless... there was a merger? No, that seems like the kind of thing the news wouldn't've shut up about. He would've known.

When was the last time you had time to sit down and read the news, Bear? Darls says inside his head

She's right. With filing for custody of Mori and graduating from college and the job search, he hasn't had time for much else. It's entirely possible that he could've missed one of the biggest mergers of the decade.

Fuck, Fuck.

He wasn't supposed to be here. Bernard was supposed to be moving on. He was supposed to be building a life for himself away from the shadows of his childhood. He was supposed to be forgetting that Tim Drake ever existed.

He has to make sure though. Turning his body around, he prays that it's not the man he thinks it is. But sure enough, there stands Tim Drake, resplendent in a navy blue suit and a golden tie.

Golden ties for golden boys, he thinks absentmindedly.

The suit fits him perfectly, stretching across his shoulders and wrapping around his waist. Even the tie looks knotted perfectly. How long did it take him to learn, Bernard wonders. He could never get it right back in high school. Does his assistant Tam do it- no, no! This is why he didn't apply to Drake Industries. Bernard can't do anything around Tim and Tim is never going to care enough about him to stay.

Tim's head seems to be turning in his direction and Bernard whips his head back to make sure Tim doesn’t even catch a glimpse of him. His hand twitches violently enough that the coffee cup falls out of his hand and spills all over the floor. The cup rattles deafeningly on the floor. Bernard can't fucking breathe.

"-ernard? Bernard!" his team leader's voice cuts through the haze in his head. Young-joon looks concerned, "Are you okay?"

He blinks slowly, "...What?"

"I said, 'Are you okay?’ You look like you've seen a ghost?"

No, Bernard thinks, seeing Darls would be preferable to whatever level of hell I've found myself in.

"I'm—, I'm fine." he says rather unconvincingly. His eyes dart back to the spill, "What am I saying? There's a large puddle of coffee on the floor. I—, I should get some paper towels for that."

"Do you have any paper towels, Wonder-Duo?" he asks, trying desperately to ignore Tamara and Abhishek's concerned looks.

"I already called the custodial staff," Tamara says slowly, like she’s trying not to spook him, "but if it makes you feel any better," she pulls out a huge stack of paper towels, "go crazy, I guess."

Bernard takes a handful of paper towels and gets to work. The cleaning is meditative and with each swipe of the paper towel, the puddle gets smaller. Bernard pretends the puddle is his feelings for Tim. Swipe, forget about the 4pm milkshakes and his laughter when Darls snorted milk out of her nose. Swipe, don't think about the way he used to smell. Swipe, he left and never looked back; you don't look back either.

The tap, tap, tap of loafer on marble is getting closer to them for some reason. Why is it getting closer? Does it not have staff meetings, market research, and people to leave behind?

"What is going on here?" Tim asks.

"Nothing much, sir." Abhishek responds, "Newbie just spilled some coffee."

Abhishek, no!

"Oh is that all? And he took the initiative to start cleaning instead of waiting for the custodial staff. You made a good choice, Young-joon."

"Thank you, sir!" Young-joon says, "I was taking him on the tour when you came in. Most newbies love the show so I thought we'd stop here for a little bit."

Tim laughs. Bernard hates that his heart still skips a beat at the sound.

A pair of brown loafers and a wool-covered knee slowly appear in his vision. Why is Tim crouching in front of him? Why won't this man leave him alone?

"This looks like quite a lot of work, let me help."

You can help by leaving me the hell alone, he thinks uncharitably.

"I hope you found the facilities to your liking," Tim continues, like he hadn't heard Bernard's thoughts, "My name is Tim Drake-Wayne, CEO."

I know, he wants to say. I know you're Tim Drake. I know you like to skateboard and that you stared at Tony Hawk's photo for an hour every day in high school ‘cause didn't want to be one of those people who didn't recognize him. I know you struggled with your dad not really being there. I know you loved Mrs. Winters as much as you loved your mom. I know that you like history more than any other subject even though your best was always math.

Bernard says nothing instead.

Tim laughs awkwardly and Bernard knows he isn't helping the conversation along but whatever, he's allowed to be petty, right?

"I assure you, whatever you heard in the tabloids and the news, isn't true. I promise I won't bite…," Tim’s voice trails off as Bernard lifts his head.

"...Bernard?" Tim whispers, he looks like he's seen a ghost.

Bernard tries for a smile, he's pretty sure it comes out looking like a grimace.

"Sir," he says nodding curtly, hands still moving to sweep up the coffee puddle.

Tim's hand reaches out to touch his face, as if to make sure Bernard is really there. Bernard recoils as Tim's hand grazes his cheek. Tim's hand hangs in the air uselessly.

"Bernard?" Tim says again, as if to make sure his eyes aren't playing tricks on him.

"That's my name, Sir," he says through clenched teeth, "don't wear it out."

He can feel Young-joon and the Wonder-Duo's confused stare but he says nothing. What would he even say, really?

Hey, this is my old friend Tim Drake? Hey, I used to know him like the back of my hand? Hey, our best friend died and it feels like I'm the only one still grieving? Hey, in my junior year, five different gangs shot up my school and my best friend died in my arms and he left and I had to pick up the pieces by myself? Hey, I'm the idiot that's still in love with Tim Drake?

The clack of Tam's heels comes as a welcome distraction.

"Tim!" she says, grabbing his arm and pulling him away, "What the hell do you think you're doing? We have to go talk to the board. Build rapport with your employees later."

Tim stumbles to his feet, "Yes, but—, I—, This is—"

He sounds like he's glitching. Bastard. Is it really such a surprise to see Bernard in a well paying job? Even Tam is starting to look a little concerned now.

"Explain later," she commands, dragging Tim behind her. Bernard keeps his head down and continues wiping up the coffee puddle. Sneaking a glance upward shows him that Tim keeps turning back around to stare at him.

For a moment their eyes meet, brown against blue. 'Bernard?' he sees Tim mouth. Bastard, saying his name so many times. Doesn't he know what that does to Bernard? Why does Tim insist on breaking his heart again and again and again? Was once not enough?

He's tired of putting these walls up and just for a second, he lets them come down. Let Tim see the entirety of his brokenness. Tim already has his heart, he can have this too.

'Tim' he mouths back, smiling sadly. Tim looks stunned and the rage that had been simmering in his gut begins to boil over.

Do you see what I've become? Do you see how thoroughly Grieves ruined me? Is this not your doing too? Why did you leave? Have you ever visited Darla? Why was it so easy for you to not look back? Was I not your friend? Or was it just a time pass? Why wasn't I enough for you to stay?

He watches until the elevator doors close, separating him from Tim once again. His body sags like a marionette cut from its strings and his fingers clench uselessly around the coffee soaked paper towels. A hand lands on his shoulder and he flinches.

"Hey, hey," Young-joon soothes from where he's crouched right next to him. When did Young-joon crouch down? How much time has he missed? "It's just me, Bernard. Are you okay? What was that? Does our CEO know you?"

He exhales shakily. He needs to get out of here. He needs to sob hard enough he throws up. He needs the steady press of a knife on his back. He needs things he's not allowed to have anymore.

Bernard shoots up so fast the world spins around him. holding onto the desk for support, he tries to smile at his team leader. It stretches across his face misshapenly.

"I'm—, I'm sorry," he says stumbling over his words in a rush to get them out, "I have to—"

He has to what? Pretend to not see Darls out of the corner of his eye? Pretend like his hands don't have blood on them? Pretend like he isn't seeing bullet wounds every time he closes his eyes?

"—go to the bathroom," he finishes lamely. Gathering up all of the paper towels, he walks away dazedly, ignoring Young-joon's calls behind him. He shoves the towels in the nearest trashcan, letting his feet lead him to the nearest bathroom.

The bathroom is thankfully empty when he enters and he locks the door behind him. Sliding down the door, he exhales shakily. There's not enough air in this room; he can't breathe. The fluorescent lights hum above their coverings. The one on the left flickers. Who's bright idea was it to install school lights in a business office's bathroom?

The world outside the bathroom rushes on too loudly. Somebody is talking about their vacation. Someone is bemoaning their presentation today. His chest is getting tighter. His hands come up to tug on his hair. Why can't he breathe?

The exhales are coming quicker and quicker. Something comes tapping down the hallway. It's the gunmen, it has to be. A quick glance down tells him all he needs to know: he's covered in blood.

It's Lila's, he thinks dazedly, I had to carry her into the office. Or no, it's Olu's. I held him when he died. He said, he said, what did he say?

Why can't he remember? He hits his head with the heel of his palm.

Think he tells himself, we have to tell Olu's parents what he said. He said—, he said—.

His body sags.

Oh now he remembers. He said, "I don't wanna die Bernard."

A whimper tears itself out of his throat and he slaps a palm over his mouth. There's blood smeared across his face now, he must look like he walked out of a slasher film. He has to be quiet. if he's too loud, the gunmen will find them and then they'll all be dead.

Cry quietly, he tells himself, Darls doesn't need—

Darla! How could he forget about Darla with a hole in her gut? He needs to get to her. Lurching forward, he scrabbles across Mrs. Castillo's linoleum floor. He's smearing Olu's blood everywhere. Why won't Nikhil stop fucking crying so loudly? Goddamn freshmen and their hysterics. Where is Tim? Is he safe? He can't lose both friends today, please Lord, please.

BANG!

A violent flinch tears through his body. He sobs audibly this time, gagging on his spit. It's the gunmen, it has to be. He hasn't even held Darls' hand or counted Tim's moles for the last time. Where are the Darls? She shouldn't be alone. She doesn't like violence like this.

"Why didn't you save me, Bear?" a voice asks from behind him.

He freezes. Slowly he turns around and nearly yells in shock. Falling back on his butt, he stares up at his friend.

(He has to be quiet, he has to be quiet, he has to be quiet-)

Darls is standing behind him still in her crop top and cargo pants. Her once smooth midsection, bloodied and warped. The bullet wound still drips blood.

Plink, plink, plink.

Bernard hates the scent of iron.

"Why didn't you save me, Bear?" she asks, her voice echoing, "I thought we were friends."

There’s blood dripping down the side of her mouth. Now he remembers, the blood on him isn’t Olu’s or Lila’s — although there is that too — it’s almost overwhelmingly Darla’s. He’s covered in it. Elbows deep in it. It streaks up his arms like a macabre tattoo. He wore a white shirt to school today. The stains will never come out. He is Carrie at the end of prom, mortified and humiliated.

He crawls backwards until his back hits the wall, the impact knocking him out of the worst of that night. He's back in the bathroom. The lights hum loudly overhead. Darla hasn’t left yet.

She tilts her head, “Why didn’t you help me, Bear? I thought we were friends.”

“We are,” he rasps out, “we are friends.”

“Are we?” her eyes have no pupils. His Darls had eyes that shone in the sunlight. His Darls is dead. “Then why am I still bleeding? Why am I still hurting? Why is there a bullet in my stomach, Bear?!”

She’s shouting by the end and he flinches. His hands can’t seem to stop tugging at his hair. The blood must’ve smeared all over it. Talk about taking strawberry blond literally.

“I swear I did everything I could Darls,” he sobs out quietly, voice cracking, “I followed all of Mrs. Castillo’s instructions as best I could. I put pressure and tied the dressing as tight as I could.”

“You thought that was enough?” she snarls, hands coming down to grip the wound. It twists grotesquely; he gags, “You think any of that matters when I’m dead and you’re still alive?”

“Please, please. You know I wouldn’t leave you to die, Darls. Please, please, please believe me.”

“Liar, liar!” she screams, blood dripping out of her mouth onto her pink LOVE shirt. It darkens as each drop hits it. Soon it’ll be completely drenched and she’ll be drowning in it. Where did his smiling friend go? “I’m dead, Bear! I’m dead, dead, dead and it’s all your fault! Why didn’t you save me?! Why didn’t you save me?!”

He keens, body curling in on itself. One hand goes down to press on his throat; he’s making too much noise. Nikhil’s just a freshman. He shouldn’t have to die just because Bernard couldn’t shut up for once in his life.

“Please,” he whispers raggedly, “I tried, I tried. I swear I tried, Darls.”

“It hurts, Bear,” she sobs. Darla’s too young to be sounding so wrecked, “It hurts so much. Please help me.”

All of sudden, it’s too much. The taste of iron sits heavy on his tongue and Darla won’t stop sobbing. His fingers fumble for his phone and he presses one. It rings once, twice and finally on the third ring does a voice answer.

“Bear?” the other side says groggily.

“Ty please, I can't do this anymore,“ he sobs.

Tyrone suddenly sounds a lot more alert, “Bear what’s going on?”

“Darla won’t stop crying and she keeps on screaming that it’s my fault she died.” he wails, “I know I should’ve done more but please, can you tell her I tried? That I stayed with her until the end? She won’t listen to me, Ty. She won’t listen to me.”

There’s a muffled yell of ‘Babe!” on the other end. “Yeah,” Ty breathes out, “I’ll tell her.”

“You put me on speaker, okay?” Ty instructs, “And you gotta tell me if she’s nodding or if she’s gone or if she said anything, alright? I can’t see her.”

“Okay,” he whispers, pulling the phone away from his ear to press the speaker button.

“You tell me when to start, Bear,” he says, voice filling the bathroom. Darla looks up from where she’s sobbing.

“You can start now Ty,” he rasps out, holding the phone out.

“Hey Darla,” Ty says, “Bear told me you said a lotta mean things about him. Stuff like, ‘he’s the reason you died’ and that ‘he never cared’. Darla, you gotta believe me when I say Bear never stopped caring. He held your hand the whole way through. Told you stories about all the things you two were gonna do once you got out of that nurse’s office. He tried, Darla, honest. I’ve never seen him as focused as when you stopped breathing and Mrs. Castillo had him give you CPR. He couldn’t stop sobbing the whole time.”

“But I’m still dead,” she says.

“But I’m still dead,” he repeats.

Ty inhales sharply, “Yeah,” he says thickly, “you are. And I’ll never stop being sorry about that. But you can’t take that out on Bear. He’s just trying to live his life.”

Darls’ face twists up like a childs, “But it hurts,” she cries.

“But—, but it hurts,” he repeats, voice hitching.

Ty curses, “Oh, fuck. I can’t do this. Babe, can you—?”

“Yeah, of course.” 

“Hey, Darla. It’s me, Jimmy from the football team. I don’t know if you remember me but I remember you. After high school, me and Tyrone ended up getting married. Somewhere between shitty weed brownies and bad college parties, we fell in love. Isn’t that nice?”

Darls nods; he tells them as such.

“We visited you after the ceremony. I hope you felt that wherever you are these days. But the point I’m trying to make is that from all I’ve told you just now, you can probably figure out that Ty and I didn’t go pro like we planned. The shooting fucked up Ty’s knee and and my arm. After the hospital stays, playing football for a whole bunch of people just didn’t sound appealing anymore. We’re high school teachers now. Ty teaches math and I teach gym. When it rains or gets cold, my arm and Ty’s knee hurts like hell. But Darla, it doesn't hurt forever. It gets better, I promise.”

“Darla,” Jimmy says, voice unusually serious, “you’re right, you are dead and it does hurt. I’m sorry, I’ll never stop being sorry. I don’t know if it’ll ever go away for you; I’m not too much of an expert on the supernatural. Ty’s the smart one, after all. But I love you, Ty loves you, Bear loves you. I hope that when it hurts the most you can use that as a balm.”

“Auntie Bea loves you too!” Ty’s mom hollers from the background, “Aunt Betty, too!”

Ty laughs wetly and Jimmy snorts, “Does that sound okay?” they ask.

Darls smiles, her teeth stained red from all the blood that built up in her mouth. Bernard misses her with an ache he feels in his bones. Darls nods.

“She nodded,” he says quietly. He blinks once and she’s gone. Where did she go? Doesn’t she know that the gunmen are still at large? She needs to be somewhere safe. He can’t lose a friend today.

“Bear, Bear, you gotta breathe. Take a deep breath for me, c’mon,” Jimmy says.

“She’s gone, Jim. She’s gone again. Why does she keep leaving?” he says, crying. His body can’t stop trembling. How long has he been here? How much time has he missed?

“I miss the cult,” he whispers, “I never had things like this happen when I was with them.”

“Yeah,” Ty snaps, “‘Cause you were high off of like 50 different pain meds ‘cause you let them whip you.”

“Ty, not helping.”

“Move over, let me talk to him."

"Hey, sweetheart," Auntie Bea's voice crackles through his tiny speaker, "I know you're tired and I know you're hurting. I know you miss the cult but you gotta breathe for me, okay? You're gonna pass out otherwise."

"I can't, I can't," he gasps out. 

"Sure you can, you just gotta tell me five things you can see. Can you list those five things for me?"

Bernard desperately tries to get his breathing under control, "The sink is dirty."

"Good, good. Anything else?" 

"The tiles need to be re-grouted."

Aunt Betty barks out a laugh. Bernard's lips twitch upward.

"Keep going."

"My pants, my white shirt, my ID badge," he rattles off.

They talk him through the rest of the grounding techniques and by the time he feels like he's in control again, he's exhausted. His eyes hurt and his throat is dry. 

"Can you tell us why you spiraled so hard, Bear? This hasn't happened in a long time," Jimmy asks.

"I spoke to Tim again," he says simply. He pushes himself up onto his feet and walks over to the sink. Setting the phone down on the counter, he grips the sink with both hands and just breathes. The Bernard in the mirror looks like he just came out of a warzone, eyes haunted, hair messed up. 

"Oh fuck," Ty says, "Where did you even meet him?"

"At my new job at Wayne Ent."

"Why would you apply there?" Jimmy asks, stressed.

"I didn't know! It's not like I've had a lotta time in the past few years to check the news!"

"Well, whatever, what’s done is done." Ty says, ever practical, "Are you going to quit?"

"No!” he says vehemently.

“No,” he repeats quieter, “Wayne has the best benefits and Mori needs that. I’ll just suck it up and try to avoid him.”

“Don’t be fucking stupid,” Aunt Betty says.

“Ma!”

“Oh be quiet Jimmy. I’ve never heard of a more stupider thing. He’s your CEO, Bear, and he knows you work there. He’s obviously going to want ‘to catch up’ or whatever. There is no avoiding him. Can you handle that?”

What can he say? Aunt Betty is right. He can’t handle talking to Tim. Even seeing Tim felt like touching a live wire. He can’t deal with another episode. Mori doesn’t need him to be fucked up, Mori needs him to be the stable adult he promised the courts he was. 

“You can’t, sweetheart,” she says softly, “you can’t handle it.”

There’s some shuffling on the other end of the phone. 

“Bear,” Ty says gently, “I love you, man. You’re my brother. Jimmy loves you, Mama loves you, Aunt Betty loves you. But you gotta start thinking about therapy.”

“I know, I know,” he sighs, “I shouldn’t’ve dragged you into this. I’m—”

Ty cuts him off with an exasperated huff, “It’s not about that Bear. I’ll keep talking to your hallucinations for as long as you need me too. Even when we’re seventy, I’ll do it for you. I don’t care about that. I care about you and I want you to be happy and healthy. I don’t want you to keep seeing Darla. I don’t want you to keep trying to scrub the blood off your hands. 

“And I know you’ve been avoiding therapy ‘cause you don’t got the money and ‘cause talking about your problems is scary but it’s not just you anymore. You got Mori now. That custody claim is going through. You can’t just avoid things ‘cause they’re hard now. You work at Wayne now; that paycheck is more than enough to set a few dollars aside each month to save up for therapy. Hell, mental health probably comes with your medical benefits. Please, Bear. If you can’t get help for you, then do it for us, for Mori. Please stop making us watch you hurt.”

Bernard exhales shakily.

“I never wanna find you the way we did after the cult, Bear. I never wanna see you in the hospital bed like that again. Please don’t do that to us, please,” Ty whispers.

Unconsciously, his hand comes up to rub at the scar left behind from the sacrifice. It stretches along the length of his sternum, jagged and rough. On good days, he can pretend that it’s a scar from a heart surgery. He doesn’t have that many good days.

Bernard presses the heel of his palms into his eyes before using his hands to scrub at his face. He’s always so tired these days.

“Okay,” he says simply, “okay.”

“Okay?” Ty asks hopefully.

“Okay, you’re right. It’s not just me anymore. Mori deserves the best and I’m gonna give it to him. And I love Tim, I think I’ll always love Tim but he clearly doesn’t give a shit about me. So I gotta make my peace with it or I’ll go crazy.”

Ty whoops, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he chants.

“Bear, it’s still the middle of the workday,” Jimmy says, although he too, sounds happy. Auntie Bea and Betty are muttering about a feast, he thinks. “Don’t you have to get back to work?”

“Yeah, that’s if I’m not fired already,” he mutters.

“Hey!” Jimmy admonishes, “Optimism only, no pessimism.”

“Alright, alright. I gotta get back to work now. Thanks guys.”

“Of course, we’ll let you go now. Ma wants me to tell you that we’re having dinner at your place today.”

“Aunt Betty,” he whines, “I haven’t cleaned and you and Auntie Bea are just looking for a reason to spoil Mori.”

“Absolutely,” they say, unashamed, “he’s our only grandson. We have to spoil him.”

“Fine,” he sighs but he’s smiling. Fuck, he loves these people. God knows he wouldn’t have survived the past six years without them.

“Bye Bear,” they say before he hangs up, “Good luck on your first day!”

He cuts the phone and slides it back into his pocket. Turning on the tap, he splashes some cold water onto his face. Using his wet hands, he tries to rearrange his mussed up hair into something acceptable for an office job.

Time to face the music Darls, he tells her smiling face in the mirror. She gives him a thumbs up in return.

The walk back to his office feels like a death sentence. He’s fucked this up, he knows it. Freaking out over a small interaction with his CEO and then running away only to come back two hours later? It’s over, done for. Bernard takes comfort in the fact that at least the severance package will be nice.

Stepping into the office, immediately draws the eyes of his team members. Every step towards his team leader’s office feels nerve-wracking. Just before he enters, Esperanza, the team’s second in command, stops him.

“Whatever happened,” she says, “just explain it to him. Young-joon’s a reasonable man, he’s not gonna yell at you.”

Some of the tension leaves him and he nods. Knocking on the door, he enters. His team leader looks up and smiles.

“Ah, Bernard! Why don’t you take a seat for me?”

He crosses his wrists behind his back, “I’d rather stand, sir.”

His team leader looks confused, “‘Sir’? Just call me Young-joon like I told you.”

“Anyway, after you left, I took the liberty of going through your file to see if there was anything I missed. I hope that wasn’t overstepping my boundaries.”

“No s-, Young-joon. You’re fine.”

Young-joon sighs and pushes the file he was reading before Bernard came in forward. It’s his file. 

“I’m going to say some statements,” he says, “and I want you to confirm whether it’s true or not. If any of these questions make you uncomfortable, just tell me okay? I’ll drop it immediately.”

Bernard nods.

“You went to Louis E. Grieves Memorial High School.”

“Yes.”

“Based on the dates you put in your file, you were there for the shooting.”

“...Yes. Junior year.”

“You know our CEO.”

“Yes,” he breathes out.

“How?”

He used to fall asleep on my shoulder during lunch and I would listen to him breathe. He’s got moles all over his face. Darls once connected them with a sharpie. His step-mom was so hot, I thought I’d spontaneously combust every time she smiled. HIs dad didn’t really like me and flirting with his wife didn’t help my case. The Drake condo had a crocheted flower blanket on the sofa that his mom had made during her pregnancy. He liked to skateboard but couldn’t roller-blade to save his life. I have all this love and nowhere to put it.

“It’s a little private,” he says instead.

“I’m only asking because we work quite closely with him. We see him often and if that makes you uncomfortable, then I can have you transferred to another team.”

His shoulders sag, “We went to Grieves together for one year. Our mutual friend died. It’s a little hard to look at him.”

“Jesus Christ.” Young-joon says, “Okay well the offer is still on the table, Bernard. Do you want to be transferred?”

“No, I like your team. I’d like to stay,” he says, firmly.

“Are you sure?” Youn-joon asks, eyebrows raised.

“Yes.”

“Okay then,” and it’s like a switch had flipped. Gone is his serious team leader and in its place is the man he met this morning.

“If you plan on staying,” he says smiling, “then my primary recommendation is that you use the medical benefits the company gives you to find a therapist. If you need help, the infirmary here will walk you through it.” 

Oh thank god it comes included with his medical, Ty will be overjoyed to hear that. But first, he has to ask Young-joon why he’s doing all this. Bernard knows his experience with authority figures is a little skewed towards the shitty side of the spectrum but even so, people usually aren’t so kind in his experience.

“Why are you doing this? Why didn’t you fire me? Why are you helping me?”

Young-joon chuckles, “Do you want to be fired?”

“No! But still, why are you helping me?”

Young-joon sighs and stands up. Walking around his desk, he stops right in front of Bernard. Young-joon puts a hand on his shoulder.

“This city takes a lot out of its people, believe me I know. And you were so young, when Gotham took her piece of you. It wasn’t fair of you to go through that. Just like it wasn’t fair to me and my wife when we got kidnapped as children. These kinds of things don’t go away. I still get worked up over zip-ties. My wife still has nightmares. All you can do is learn to live with it.

“You seem like a good kid with a good head on your shoulders. I’d hate to see all that potential go to waste ‘cause you kept getting trapped in your mind. I had a lot of help to get to where and who I am today. Consider this, me paying it forward. One day, I hope you can pay it forward too.”

His eyes feel suspiciously wet. “Thank you,” he chokes out, “thank you.”

Young-joon laughs, “There’s no need for the waterworks, Bernard. Now, pack up your things and go home. You’re in no state to analyze data today but I expect you here at 9AM sharp tomorrow, alright?”

Bernard mock salutes, “Yes, sir.”

“Goodbye, Bernard.”

Right before he exits, he turns around and calls out his team leader’s name.

“Young-joon,” Young-joon looks up confused, “you can call me Bear, by the way.”

A wide grin stretches across his team leader’s face, “Okay then. Goodbye Bear, see you tomorrow.”

Walking out of the office, it feels like a burden has been lifted off his shoulders. Esperanza takes one look at him and snorts.

“You just got Young-joon-ed, huh?”

His jaw drops, “He does that often enough you guys have a name for it?”

The other team members laugh, “Welcome to Data Analysis Team 1, kiddo. We look forward to working with you from now on.”

Smiling, he gathers his things and leaves after a few goodbyes. Once outside the building, the smile drops. It’s an hour-and-a-half bus ride from Wayne Tower to his house. The bus stop sits right in front of the tower too. Some new initiative by the mayor to promote the city moving towards green energy. Hey look, even rich people take the bus! What a fucking joke.

The tower warps the sunlight around it and he stares up at the top floor. Is Tim watching? Can Tim see him from up there? Does he care or was it just the shock of seeing someone he once knew this morning? Has Tim ever thought about him, about them? Or were they just moments in his life? Perpendicular lines, intersecting once and then never again.

I miss you, he thinks staring at the top floor, I miss you more than anything but I’ll walk into oncoming traffic before I ever reach for you again.

The bus pulls up next to him and he snags a seat in the back. Dropping his head onto the seat in front of him, he stares out the window. Darls smiles back at him in the window reflection, perpetually sixteen. He’s twenty-two now.

Fuckin’ hell Darls, he thinks wearily, we’re really in it now.

Darls places her hand against the glass, he leans his shoulder onto it. If he closes his eyes, he can almost feel her warmth.

We’ll make it through, she says.

The bus rumbles forward and he lets the cracked streets of Gotham lull him to sleep. He’ll make it through.

A/N: chami! i hope you like it!!! i've never gifted a fic before, i don't really know how this works. and to everyone who read it, i hope you liked it too! please leave your thoughts in the reblogs or replies!!! i miss the days when td:r was coming out and we were all collectively freaking out. anyway when i said loosely based, i really did mean loosely. props to you guys if you can figure out the direct references to the drama. but this is a one-shot. i'm not gonna be writing anything else for this 'verse? au? (god i'm always so worried im using em dashes wrong)

if you have questions or you're confused by something i wrote, feel free to ask questions or send an ask or message. oh, and i know some people like know the exact wordcount. so, it's exactly 6,785 words long. nice number right?

also, please note that if you want to make art or a podfic or hell, even fanfiction of this, feel free to do so! i hope that's not too presumptuous or anything. idk i see fanfic writers make this disclaimer all the time, so i thought i'd do it to.

thank you for reading!

[moonlightdarlings]

giving them a surprise hug | the bad batch

a/n: pics not mine! this was genuinely relaxing to write! i’m so sorry this is late- i had such bad writers block and i didn’t want to post anything that i'm not proud of. nonnie, i hope this meets what you wanted and of course, thank you for requesting 🫶🏼🥰

crosshair

the shock! the surprise! he didn't expect you, of all people, to come up and suddenly hug him. it's all very welcome though since he absolutely adores you, but you don't know that. his crush on you is just amplified when you make moves on him.

"get off me. do you have glue on your arms or something?"

“no. you’re stuck with me,” you defiantly replied, “whether you like it or not.”

“well…uh. you’re welcome to stay in my arms,” he softy mumbles.

later in the day, he ends up spilling to you that he’s liked you since you first insulted him. he’s just glad you’re as crazy about him as he is about you.

tech

he doesn’t know how to respond when you come behind him and hug him. he definitely knows that his heart beats faster with you around but he’d rather keep that to himself. he's so in love with you and he's such a softie.

“may i ask why you are hugging me?”

“i like you, tech.”

oh. OH. his brain stops functioning a little after hearing before asking, “did i hear that right?”

he smiles softly to himself as he whispers back, "i like you too, darling." you don't know yet, but he's already daydreaming about the moments you'll share together as a couple.

echo

echo thinks you're so cute when you ran in front of him to give him a massive hug. but somehow, your hugs always last a little longer each time. he knows you have a crush on him, and he knows his feelings toward you.

"you're comfy."

"oh? does that make me your new pillow then?" he teased.

"perhaps..." you muse.

his eyes soften upon realizing that you'd be his forever, quietly whispering, "i think i love you."

"did you say something, echo?"

he smiles at you in response, no words are needed for his feelings anymore.

wrecker

as someone who likes both you and physical affection, wrecker is so happy about the hug. he's not shocked either about you coming to his side and hugging him. in fact, he appreciated your hug as he had just finished a mission that involved high-stress levels and heights.

“just what i needed.”

“what?” you inquire, “a hug? or you mean- my hug?”

"well- i mean, your hugs do feel nice but i prefer your hugs."

you glance up at him, smiling softly as you admire how pretty his eyes are. he knows you're staring, and he knows that you're definitely his future. you make him feel at home, truly loved and that's a bonus in his eyes.

hunter

he’s always admired you from afar. due to his heightened senses, he wasn’t too shocked about you sneaking up behind him, wrapping your arms around his chest. he relished the moments with you, as life seemed to slow down when he was with you. 

“oh? what’s this?” 

“just a hug for my favorite person,” you giggle, “you’re warm.” 

"my waist is free real estate..uh if you'd like another hug?" he states slowly, scratching the back of his neck, not knowing what to do with his hands now that they aren't around you.

you end up confessing your crushes to each other at the same time.

a/n: hi! this is later than i would've preferred to post this, but late is better than never :) i really loved writing the dialogue for this and i was inspired by the kdramas i'm currently invested in! i hope you enjoy and thanks for reading 🫶🏼

[jnnul]

[6:42 pm]

“i look like an idiot,” your boyfriend complains, checking himself out in the mirror of your vanity anyway. you giggle, pressing a kiss to his temple so that you don’t mess up his make-up, carefully dodging the stray glare that he offers you.

“you look beautiful, jeno. and besides, this is for a good cause, remember?” you remind him as you make sure that your costume looks good as well.

“i don’t remember what me dressing up as a spandex wearing animated character has to do with changing the world, but alright,” jeno grumbles, shifting uncomfortably as his ‘uniform’ seems to cling to all the wrong places.

“you say that now but you and i both know that the moment you see those kids at the hospital, you’re a sucker. tell me you aren’t going to practice your mr. incredible in the car,” you say cheekily, and jeno is unable to refute that. ever since you and him have been dating, you have often dragged him to events such as these.

at first, they were rather simple things, almost as if you were testing the waters with jeno. for example, when the two of you went on a date to a zoo in the beginning of your relationship, you casually mentioned that many zoos that didn’t treat their animals with love and respect.

then, soon after, you asked him to sign a ‘take down unethical zoo practices!’ petition. and then from there, jeno found himself at a protest to rally for the rights of beluga whales. 

not that jeno had anything against whales (he actually came to be quite passionate about the mistreatment of them the more he went to these events), but the fact that you took the world’s issues to be your issues was simultaneously your biggest character flaw and strength.

and he loved you all the more for it.

“you know who you are?” jeno says, swiveling around in the chair to mean mug you. “you’re woo young woo from that one kdrama. and i’m that poor unsuspecting boyfriend who wants to spend time with his girlfriend but ends up at a whale protest anyway. that’s what cute girls like you and her do; you get our attention, make us fall in love, and then ba-bam! you use us as a bodyguard and backpack carrier at protests and rallies!”

you roll your eyes, leaning down so that you were now eye level with jeno, the both of you lovingly aware that the banter between the two of you was not a symbol of actual annoyance but rather, mutual appreciation. you, for having so much empathy. jeno, for being so patient.

your heart swells when jeno looks at you with such loving eyes, trust and admiration swimming behind his façade of annoyance. you lean forward, pressing your lips to his, involuntarily smiling when you feel jeno’s lips curve upwards as well.

he hums softly, pulling you close so that you’re practically sitting on his lap. gentle and strong. a little callous, but only so that the butterflies in your stomach seem to be rebelling against the confines of your stomach, as if they too want to be showered in the love of your kindhearted and wonderful boyfriend.

you want to melt into his embrace, as you usually do whenever you’re near jeno, but your phone buzzes and you sigh, pulling away from your boyfriend reluctantly.

“that’s jaemin. he’s asking, and i quote, ‘what the fuck are you guys doing i’ll whoop your ass if you don’t come soon i hate this fucking gru costume and the kids keep asking where you are’. you think we should get going maybe?” you say, raising your eyebrows at the series (of rather graphic) of emojis that depict you and jeno conveniently being pushed off a cliff.

jeno snorts at his best friend’s antics, his touch lingering on your waist as he leaves to go start the car. he waits for you to finish responding (with a threatening message of your own) before extending his arm without even looking, waiting for the comforting weight of you clinging to his arm as the two of you leave your shared home, walking into the buttery evening.

it truly couldn’t get much better than this.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Dog Days of BL but July is Incoming

June 2023 Wk 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - I’m finding the time frames confusing. Still, a lovely crying kiss + a very high drama-lllama gay confession. Kitchen counter make out, my fav! The actor who plays Jeng kisses at MaxTul levels, which is to say = like a man who has actually done it before with genuine desire and is capable of portraying that on screen. (What makes MaxTul kings is that they BOTH do this.) Pat caught up, thank goodness. Also P’Jeng!!!! P’JENG!!! I love how intimate phi is when it’s been all khun prior. This is the Thai version of hyung slinging. Errotic linguistics, my fav. And ALL the work drama and homophobia fall out when you sleep with the boss. I really enjoy that the angst concerning their relationship has to do with the fact that this is an office romance. Lastly? I love Chot so much. Everyone needs a gay auntie. Also Bruce is SO DAMN GOOD. (I mean we knew he would be from Lovely Writer, but this... chef’s kiss.) 

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - There are enough meta-analysis on this one for me not to have to weigh in. Suffice it to say that I like what it’s trying to do, and I certainly appreciate the levels of consent and so forth but I’m not sure I actually like it as much now that we are swimming in high concept. Too much lying. I’m not sure I want my BL to make me think this hard. Also poly, boys = final answer. (Anyone else getting Color Rush flashbacks?) 

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 6 of 12 - I love Max now and forever, and I made some very bad puns in the Trash watch here. Otherwise I’m not super invested. 

Dinosaur Love (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 eps - from Ultimate Troop (The Yearbook people) so I shouldn’t watch this as it airs, after Remember Me? I swore never again. But there’s so little on right now, I’m falling on the pulp sword...  My initial thoughts? It’s an En of Love installment? What is going on? Why all this opening with the sides in a bar? Are we framing? Just move on to the 2 boys kissing! Don’t try to be clever, for fucks sake. Okay, good, the pulp has begun. I like soft wet-blanket Rak and his sad love life. I’m not wild about how aggressive Dino is plus insta-SINGING but I DO LIKE THAT HE’S OUT and knows what he wants which is refreshing. It’s trope filled nonsense (crash into me, instalove, sing feelings, floppy drunk, he’s in engineering, fast and bi-curious) also Dino used ter at first (how forward!) then he went to gu/mueng after rejection, while Rak uses khun & phi/pom. Love this for them. Despite my justified reservations with this production team imma stay watching. I need something on Sundays. * 

Luminous Solution (Sat Gaga) ep 6fin - That’s it? Bullsheiit. No seriously. That’s my review. 3/10 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I JUST WATCHED AND NEITHER DOES IT AND I’M MAD ABOUT IT.

* I got to say, you have only yourselves to blame for Dinosaur Love’s ranking. Once upon a time, I lived happily in ignorance of the Thai film industry. And then you all kept asking me extremely intelligent questions about it. And because I am a nosy little shit, I had to figure out what was going on. And now a BL like this, which ordinarily I would just love unconditionally, is a really scary place for me, because I know too much about the production house. The evils of too much information are all true. Remain happily in ignorance, I advise you, especially where BL is concerned. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Love Tractor (Korea Weds iQIYI) eps 7-8fin - Yechan is such a frank character it confuses all who meet him, also a truly terrible flirt. This is such a puppy/cat relationship. It was cute but it went too far into cringe for a KBL (for me). I don’t think Kdramas are good at farce (sorry), better if they stick with more subtle humor. It was a sweet ending tho, not too cheesy. Nice kiss for KBL but pretty rather than sexy. Full review below.

Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - Oh, it’s GREAT. Damn it. There is a lot of subtext and things not being said. This is going to be one of those shows where it’s endlessly frustrating that they don’t just talk to each other. The crying first time was gut-wrenching. Ren is complicated & scarred & closed off. Kazuma is earnest & empathetic & thinks he’s unworthy - so will take whatever crumbs are handed to him. They are both giving parts of themselves away in a desperate attempt to shape themselves to the expectations they have of each other. These 2 are gonna fuck each other up while they fuck and fuck with our hearts. Japan is giving us the Bed Friends that Thailand can never even imagine. There is absolutely no guarantee this will end happily (it’s from the Eternal Yesterday people) but it is guaranteed to be painful and beautiful along the way. Oh Japan, must you? I guess you must. 

Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 4 of 6 - I’m mostly confused by the catfishing & tarot side plots. But the mains sure act like bfs. To the point of our tiny jock idiot getting gay panicked by how much bfs they are. Surprise kiss! For everyone, it turns out. Yes I laughed. What? It was pat but also… FUNNY.

Tie The Knot (Pinoy YouTube) ep 3 of 8 - The main couple is adorable, but I’m not wild about the gay bashing blackmail side story. Still, it’s the best we’ve had from the Philippines in a while so I am keeping my fingers crossed. 

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 9 of 12 - Seriously? Bah Vinh = chemistry with EVERYONE. 

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 12fin - So Souta just disappears off to Singapore and doesn’t say anything to his boyfriend about it? And then comes back with the perfect plan and life for both of them? Oh Japan, must you? Review below. 

It’s airing but ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly English & set in LA (shudder) so I’m not bothering.

Ever After (Pinoy YouTube) 12 eps - Spies reported that it's a real mess and not a hot one.

Stay With Me ... NO I WILL NOT! And you can’t make me. 

In case you missed it

BL Express reviewed The Egoest. Oh boy am I never going to watch that. 

One in a Hundred - Gaga dropped all 12 episodes (c.10 min ea) at once. This is a 2020 Chinese show. It’s not BL. And it has a laugh track. I watched the first & final eps and won’t bother with the rest. DNF

I finally watched the 2022 thing I should have. 

To Sir, With Love - REVIEW

This is a true lakorn with scenery chewing performances from an ensemble cast focused on family obligation and past sins, especially from the mother characters. It is a Thai tellenovella + Gone With the Wind but gay. That said? I loved it: A glorious central brother relationship (the best, made me cry), het romances, class divide + gay *gasp* main romance, the camp of it all! It’s like it was invented by drag queens. Arranged marriage, rebellion, cut sleeves, dramatic death with curses and regrets, beautiful if inaccurate costumes, secrets unraveling, cover ups, sparkle murder, sex herbs, coils within coils including snakes and death by glitter (is anything gayer on this earth?). It’s a WILD ride. It’s not BL. It’s not a romance, it’s a family drama Thorn Birds style but it does end happy for our gay boys. Like Manner of Death I’m struggling to rate something on a BL scale when it patently isn’t a BL. I think I have to give it exactly what I gave that show, 7/10 

I loved it, but not as a BL. 

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS (over its BLness) 

Zenra Meshi - REVIEW

AKA Naked Dinner 

I have to be honest, I didn’t really like much about this show. The central premise was too odd and the main character too clumsy & slow on the uptake. I like the food, but there have been food-set BLs before that failed to meet expectations. Too many of them. This one joined that throng. Good ending tho. 7/10 

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS

Love Tractor - REVIEW

Most of this country-set BL had me feral for the beautiful broken city boy and his hot young farmer. Hyung romance, puppy/cat pairing, open frankness meets jaded reserve, language play, water hose frolicking, only one bed, all my favorite tropes. This show was basically a light-weight Restart After Come Back Home and I’m not even slightly mad about that. 

But (and you knew there was a “but” coming) something about the cringe of the final 2 eps and the impermanence of the ending (both of which highlight the fact that ultimately these 2 are I’ll-suited: too different & too far apart) left me with the feeling that they probably won’t last as a couple. However, in this case, rare for me, I forgive it this finale for my love of the rest. 

I did dither a lot though, it’s not an 8 but not a 9 either. Better than Love Mate (8/10) not as good as The New Employee (9/10) but in the end I’m value adding up for the premise and the cast, giving it a 9/10. 

RECOMMENDED 

(Gotta say, because this is rare for me, that this had a great OST. Not the credit music but the refrain, Rainbow.) 

Next Week Looks Like This:

July 2023 Supposedly... 

7/3 Be Mine SuperStar (Thai Mon Viki) 12 eps - JaFirst whipping boy/spoiled prince, obsession, celebrity/mundane. Third-year film student Punn (Ja) gets an internship on the set of a drama. He’s come to learn, but "what lights his passion even more than the work" is leading man Achi, Thailand's sweetheart. Adapted from the novel “The Superstar and the Puppy on Set” (พี่พระเอกกับเด็กหมาในกอง) by Orpheus, cast includes Benjamin Brasier (2moons2), Bosston Suphadach (UWMA), Jo Kavinpat (War of Y), Kokliang (TharnType). Directed by David Bigander (Bite Me) which makes me nervous. Maybe he'll do better with an adaptation?

7/6 Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu ????) 12 eps - The story is a continuation of Minato & Shin's love story, and it picks up 10 years after the events of season 1 but the characters don't seemed to have grown at all. Very Japan of you, Japan.

7/7 Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 10 eps -  Gu Bu-Xia has the ability to hear ghosts, except when he is around his new roommate Jiang Chi. So he starts to find ways to approach Jiang Chi. But is it  the ghosts or Jiang Chi’s charm?

7/8 Low Frequency (Thai Sat YouTube?) 8 eps - ghost boyfriend, celebrity/mundane - Mon's life as a spirit-seeing interior decorator is full of headaches. On good days, he helps settle problems for his relative, who is a star manager. But then he gets involved with the spirit of Thames, a famous young actor who is in a coma.

7/9 Hidden Agenda (Thai Sun GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - JoonDunk are back. Zo, a college freshman whose never been in love, decides to change it by making the college’s star Nita as his gf. He approaches Joke, Nita’s ex, for dating advice. What he fails to realize is that Joke has had his eyes on him for a long time and uses this opportunity to approach Zo. TMS 2.0.

7/15 Laws of Attraction (Thai Sat ????)  Stars the pair from To Sir With Love and with the same production team, cryptic description, but it seems to be Manner of Death esk.

7/19 Wedding Plan (Thai Wed YouTube & iQIYI)  - It's Mame and she's coming for our GL. She's such a misogynist IMAGINE what we will get with a GL? It's going to be absolute carnage. To crane your neck as you drive by the car wreck or not... that is the question. Me? I'm wallowing in the guts.

7/20 Jun & Jun (Korea Thu Viki) - From 2022 (TutorYim rumored to cameo) this office romance features 2, yes 2! Bls. Seme looks aggressive, we in classic yaoi territory. There is an idol involved. Past failed flirts. I am very excited about this one.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

To Sir With Love

Best execution of the piggyback trope ever? I think so. 

Fucking GENIUS piece of acting. Bruce we LOVE you! 

All Step By Step 

It was stupid funny, okay? (Stupid Genius) 

Ridiculous man, you don’t have to eye fuck THAT hard. But we all appreciate it. (Vian) 

Dangerous thing to say in a show about identity in relationships. 

Brave boy.

I said this show was deep, not that I was. Although Patts seems to be going there. 

I’ll stop now.

All La Pluie. 

(Last week.)

[drivingsideways]

The Matchmakers (2023)- Review

A funny, smart youth fusion sageuk? Rowoon- whom I swear to god I would not have been able to pick out of a lineup of idol actors 2 weeks ago-  making me CRY in the year of our Lord 2024???? You could knock me over with a feather right now. 

Writer Ha Soo-jin and PDs Hwang Seung-gi and Kim Soo-jin did not drop the ball even once over 16 episodes- a true feat in kdrama land. More than the actors, it was the impressive lock-step of the creative/production team that got me in this one. I'm trying to put into words the oddness of it after: apparently I can be persuaded to buy a product (heterosexual romance kdrama version) that I would usually avoid, as long as it crosses a threshold of custom-made-for-me features.  I know I've been had, but it's done with such sly charm and madcap energy that I'm not even the least bit angry about it. 

This isn't to say that the drama isn't thoughtful: it is, very much. In an era when falling birthrates and fascism are making governments across the world decide that women have probably had too much freedom and are actively enacting policies that violate women's fundamental rights over their personhood, The Matchmakers is a tongue-in-cheek response that's deadly serious about its fundamental idea: that women are individuals who will and should act to preserve the sanctity of that gift of life.  

At the start of the series, its main antagonist- Park Ji young in an arresting role and performance- says "If a Nation is a tree with deep roots, then those roots are its WOMEN." Of course, this is a delightful statement on many levels- starting with the sheer brazenness with which the joke that sends up one of the most acclaimed and beloved sageuks is made; it also situates the character in opposition with the morality of Confucian-era Joseon of the series where women were to be kinda, sorta seen and definitely not heard etc. and makes us instantly- in our post-feminist complacence- sympathetic to her. But wait: as the series unravels its many, many, many threads, we begin to see the sleight of hand. For this Strong Woman Character ™  is, after all, preaching an old and well-worn moral code: for the woman, The Family is Everything. Unless you’ve been under a rock for a few years, it might have come to your notice that this Idea ™ is being repackaged and tik-tokified up as neo-conservatism and fascism gains ground once more in our feral capitalist hellscape. The show is full of women who've had to or are making choices for the Family (survival, honour, future)- at the cost of their own happiness and identities because that is their Fate. Even Madam Park, widely acknowledged as the most brilliant mind in Joseon- is not exempt from this; taking- limited- control of a system designed to grind you down doesn’t mean freedom, only fear and eternal vigilance. For me, it was the perfect choice and characterization of the villain that set this show apart from the others of its genre- that told me that it had something to say after all.

That said, I don’t think The Matchmakers is particularly radical or subversive- here’s where the perfect commodification of kdrama and the show’s chosen genre blunts it-terrible things happen in families and to women in particular, yes, but we’re never allowed to contemplate those things too long; we’re being distracted by the next flourish in the shenanigans-filled plot. Heterosexual marriage is reconfigured but never seriously rejected; queer people exist but are not happy. Perhaps it takes a Jeong Seo Kyung (Little Women, 2022) or Lim Dae-hyung/ Jeon Go-woon (LTNS, 2024) to smash that particular barrier- but in its defense, The Matchmakers does what all love stories  set out to do and does it well- which is to reaffirm our belief in Love as the ultimate liberation; both the weapon and balm of our fragile lives. And it does, very firmly, plant its feet on the side of liberating the women who each find their courage to reassert their selves as the most necessary and valuable possession in a society which only sees value in their uteruses.

Tl; dr: watch it for its delightful women, its Wodehouse-ian shenanigans in regency romance/sageuk aesthetic, its quietly moving love story about letting love and life surprise you over and over again, and yeah, I guess you should also watch it for Rowoon being a “disgruntled pelican” as correctly described by @elderflowergin.

[captainjoongki]

I cannot believe I saw a comment with 20 likes under a tweet of the scene HW loses his mind when he thinks HI dies breaks a window with his bare hands and falls to his knees that says she loves him a lot more than he does. These people are just insane there's no other way around it literally what does this man have to give or sacrifice? They really need the male lead to be this perfect person who never makes a mistake and always acts like a wind up robot solely created to worship the female lead or he's not good enough. Y'all need to get some help I know a lot of men in the real world suck but this level of delusion is venturing into unprecedented territory.

you will meet the meanest and stupidest people on kdrama twt like i genuinely hate the community there no shade fr they're all on high horses with zero thinking abilities i also hate twitter in general quite literally the cesspool of human thoughts.

like, QOT is not perfectly written but it's done a damn good job at showing how much HW and HI mean to one another and that people are going to be messy and wrong but that makes them who they are. if you're still here at episode 15 and not realizing that there is something v wrong with you! they are Married there is no he loves more she loves more. it's EQUAL. icba to deal with these morons anymore like live laugh love baekhong or nothing for the win if you don't agree you can leave <3

[dangermousie]

My next kdrama rewatch is probably my favorite period kdrama of all time - The Princess’ Man.

It stars Park Shi Hoo in a role that elevated him to big stardom (and deservedly so - the man might be…well…on a personal level but as an actor he was always exceptional and this is imo his best role - the way he goes from human sunshine to feral vengeful barely human wreck to someone obtaining haunted functionality through love is something else) and Moon Chae Won in my favorite role of hers (she managed to imbue this ladylike and steady woman with so much sympathy and relatability. In other hands, her character would he boring or even be drowned by PSH’s because she doesn’t have an arc with huge changes likes his, she just stubbornly remains true to herself, but in hers she becomes one of my all time fave heroines.)

In case you don’t know the story, it’s the whole enemies and lovers thing. When the OTP first meet, she is the carefree favorite daughter of the King’s brother and he’s a treasured scholar son of a senior minister. We get mistaken identity hijinks and two smart, sunny, well-adjusted people falling in love. But her father is Sejo so even a quick glance at Wikipedia will tell you what happens - a bloody coup, his whole clan brutally murdered and his finding out the woman he fell in love with is the culprit’s daughter.

When he returns a few years later (surviving torture and a bunch of attempts to murder him - she buys his life by threatening his own but all that means is daddy tries to murder him later in private), gone is the sunny scholar and we have a barely functioning, unable to sleep murder machine who wants to use her in his plan for vengeance. And it goes on from there.

I love how gradual his changing back to sanity is and I love how immovable she is in loving him and knowing her family owes him. This is not one of those “my family fucked up but they are mine so whatever” situations - she fully recognizes the justness of his revenge and not because she loves him - she’d recognize it for a stranger. It’s because she’s morally always centered.

What else? If the secondary OTP won’t break your heart, you have none. The SML is a fascinating brand of repulsive - he doesn’t really love the FL but he wants her as some sort of victory over ML even if he thinks the man is dead because being second wore on him (think Gao from LP.) It features my favorite scar kissing scene of all time (when he kisses the scar on her back that she got from the arrow she took covering him with her own body - that act was actually what got through to him when nothing else could because he’d never trust words but that action? Good God!) Also, the scene where he actually sleeps peacefully for the first time in years on her shoulder? Aaaa!

I didn’t really use tumblr at the time but my LJ was all TPM all the time. Watching it as it aired was harrowing since chances of a happy ending were so dim and yet I wanted it so badly. (And got it!)

I guess it’s time to go for mark 2. (Or whatever number since I rewatched it before.)

[kuroppiii]

DON’T FILE THOSE DIVORCE PAPERS. but i thought emma was boring i desperately need ur full take geek out plz tell me what I don’t see

i would NEVER divorce you pookie??

(us actually)

everyone gets film freaky in their own way!!! its ok!!!

two film essay posts in less than 24 hrs by ro, someone needs to sedate me or something

( sort of spoilers for emma (2020) under the cut , but nothing explicit , really )

!!! disclaimer i think to really fw regency-ish movies, kind of inherently calls for being into things like their original source material. and trust!! i know its not for everyone!!!

personally, i'm actually a big fan of reading those old and classical kind of books. as in, i have a full, clothbound, BOX SET, of jane austen's novels (emma being one of them). my literature teacher recommended me to read pride and prejudice ONCE and i've been hooked ever since.

yknow people joke that back then that it was all "oh my god you can't show your ankles!!!" and yeah, that's pretty much what it's like when you get down to reading novels from that time 😭 but that's what makes it so entertaining for me! the bridgerton series (which i also really like by association) is an easy example of this. i once saw someone say bridgerton plays out like a kdrama and YES!! that's the level of yearning and pining and slow burn i feed off of

upfront, i liked the movie–even from when its first trailer came out–because its aesthetics visually were just so nice. like yes!!! pastels!! pretty flowers!!! hats with feathers!! tea parties!!! big poofy dresses!!! (and anya taylor joy)

but it was when i watched it for a second time, i found a lot of why i like this specific adaptation of emma is because i think it really got across the vibe of jane austen's writing–especially the humor.

ok now stay with me: i'm not saying you have to read the whole original novel to get it, bc basically i would summarize the reason why the humor is so dry (when usually you would think this rich and old-fashioned vibe of a story should be much more over-the-top and dramatic) is because jane austen was always trying to make fun of all the social constructs of her time. especially for women! (heavy on how her works were ones of satire!)

like it all plays out so bare-bones that you just can't ignore how ridiculous everything sounds, which is what austen felt about all the rules and expectations emma and the other characters were trying to uphold the whole story. i also find that kind of humor from the movie very charming in a simple way, too.

the whole vibe of watching the movie and its characters is very much unserious, and it's a personal favorite in that watching it and listening to the soundtrack makes me feel ok to wallow in my emotions like the characters do. it's very cathardic in that way to me. but yeah by no means is it very action-packed or even conventionally "dramatic", so i get how it can wind up boring.

the character development of emma is always so interesting to me though. it's subtle, especially on the first watch, but it always warms my heart when she goes from thinking she's got everything figured out, to seeing the value of true friendship in harriet and even mrs. bates (MY FAV CHARACTER I CANNOT LIE SHE'S SO FUNNY), and that making her more open to questioning her and her life more, including not being as perfect as she once thought she was.

and that's really why we get that payoff with her and knightley, because he's known her all this time but when she finally recognizes her imperfections and embraces them, that newly found self-awareness us what pushes him over the edge in love. then we get that BEAUTIFUL confession scene under the tree. 🤭🌳

it very much fits the genre of a "romantic" movie, in that it romanticizes everything. but not to the point where it lets you forget what everyone's wants were, and that there were genuine struggles grappling with all those societal rules at the same time.

bc at the end of the day those rules were efforts meant to promote values that could hopefully lead a life of morality, responsibility/duty, and respect to others and yourself (arguably there are rules we face today that try to promote the same things, but they just look much different than rules about showing your ankles lol). i think in emma it's interesting to see just how each character tries to navigate those rules to get what they want out of life from them, and i think it's just a very beautifully-made film overall as well.

[jeonsweetpea]

hey there!!! i came back! triple army anon here 😁 i dont usually hang out here in unlike when ss501 was still active (i cant remember my access on my old acct too, signs of aging i think 🤣)

SS501 is my first group too! they’re the reason why i got hooked up on kpop and kdrama.. my bias…hmmm, i started with HyunJoong then JungMin then HyungJun then KyuJong and eventually got stucked with YoungSaeng when i saw him in person when they had a fanmeet here. gaaaahdd!! i miss those times! 😭😭😭

i kinda thought that Jin and JungMin are the same, but now that you mentioned Jin and KyuJongie, i was like 😮 they do!!!

still hoping ss501 will comeback, i can only imagine us triple s fangirling to the nth level 💜💚

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! *throws confetti* YOU'RE BACK! ☺️☺️☺️

No way, same here! My old baby sitter showed me Boys Over Flowers and then said one of them was the leader of a K-Pop group. Hyun Joong started it all for me until I saw Young Saeng and then I fell in love! I love how we both started with HJL. Lolol.

*gasp* WHAT?! YOU SAW HIM IN PERSON?! AT A FANMEETING??? Girl, I could never even imagine!!! I'm so jealous, please describe EVERY detail!

Jin and Jungmin? Please do tell on how you think they're similar b/c I'm like 😲😲😲 How??? Jungmin is crazy, I mean, Jin can be extra too but Jungmin is a diva. LOL!

Do you know what they're up to these days? I long for a comeback, but I don't even know if they keep in touch anymore besides Kyujong, Youngsaeng, and HyungJun. :( They're all doing their own things and I hope they're all still friends.

What's your favorite SS501 song, btw?

[hippiemisfit]

Hush (J.K.) 20

Chapter 20- The Next Day

pairings: jungkook x oc reader

word count: 4,651

warnings: angst, fluff, jealousy, hints at a bigger picture, girl from jungkook's past

-----------------------------

I woke up the next morning at about 8 and started to reminisce about last night.

I can't believe that happened. I doubt know what came over me but I don't regret it at all.

I turned and looked beside me and saw that I was all alone but I wasn't surprised. I know that Hoodie is a busy person being the actual Death and all so I didn't expect him to be here anyway. Thank God it's Saturday and I don't have to go to that hell hole called school or I would've definitely been ditching again today. I got up, grabbed my towel on the end of the bed, and headed to the restroom for a quick shower.

I placed my towel on the sink and turned on my playlist, putting it on shuffle, and hopped in the shower. In Your Eyes by Snoh Aalegra came on and I started to sing along.

♪Woo, woo, woo Ayy, woo Yeah, yeah

Some days are easier to fake it I find it hard to think when you're brought up I know it takes a heart to break it (yeah) But you took that and some more when you gave up♪

By the time I got out the shower, I had sang at least three songs in my mini concert. I grabbed my towel off the sink and wrapped it around me before wiping the condensation off the mirror. I don't know why my reflection caused me to gasp, but it sure in the fuck did. I mean, I know he was sucking on my skin pretty good last night but I wasn't expecting my neck to look all bit up like this. You could barely see any of my brown skin, I think I count like 10 and that's just on my upper neck area alone. My chest area is a whole another level but what can I say, it felt good in the moment. I lightly touched one and winced.

Yep, glad there's no school today because I'd be damned if I have to cover all of these up.

I stopped staring at my neck long enough to wash my face and brush my teeth and then went to my room to get dressed. I peeked at my phone real quick and I'm glad I did because Jungkook texted me saying that he was gonna come over to hang out at 9 ten minutes ago. Well its currently 8:45 so I better hurry up. i quickly put on some lotion and ran to my closet. I grabbed my black crop top turtle neck and some distressed shorts. I put my hair into a messy bun and put on some hoops.

By the time I slid my puma slides on, i heard the door bell ring. I ran down the stairs and swung open the door, being greeted by a similarly dressed Jungkook. I scanned him from head toe; he was wearing a black turtle neck of his own but his was paired with black dress pants and dress shoes. He was even wearing a pair of glasses to top it off.

He looks like he walked straight out of a kdrama, cue the internal fangirling. Is it hot out here or is it just me cause damnnnnn.

I cleared my throat when I noticed that he was eyeing me up and down too. I moved out of the way to let him in and he slid by me. As soon as I closed the door and turned around, I was pinned against it and was met by his lips crashing on mine. I was taken back at first but melted into the kiss. Just as I started to get deeper into it, he pulled back and gave me a cute bunny grin.

He pulled out his phone

:sorry u just look really beautiful. i couldn't help myself

I giggled, "It's ok, you're looking pretty good today yourself. You weren't peeping in on me while I was getting dressed this morning," I asked jokingly.

He shook his head

:lol nope but what a coincidence huh

I shook my head," Haha yea what's the chances huh. Well, are you hungry? I could make us something."

:actually that's why I came over here. I wanted to see if you wanted to go out for breakfast.

"Yeah, I'm down. just let me feed and walk Poco real quick and we can go. You can have a seat while I'm gone, he usually doesn't take too long in the morning." I said going to get Poco out his crate.

With all that happened last night I'm glad that Poco was here. I don't know what I would've done if I was just here alone. As soon as I put his dry food in his bowl, I heard his crate open and next thing I knew I was almost toppled by him.

He tried to lick my face but I lightly pushed him away, laughing at his antics. "Poco chill. Morning breath is real kid. Here let's take you for a walk and then you can come and eat."

I went and grabbed his leash from the key ring and told Jungkook that we would be right back. We went down our usual route which included walking past Carter's house. Just my luck he was sitting outside on the porch but he was so engrossed into his phone , he didn't notice us walk past.

Poco did his business and we turned around to head back home. This time though, Carter was looking up and we caught eyes but I diverted mine. I quickly walked to my front door and went to open it, fumbling with key a little out of nervousness. I heard Poco start growling and I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Carter had crossed the street and was making his way towards us. His steps faltered when Poco barked at him. 

"Hey can we talk real fast?" I heard him ask.

I let out a small sigh as I turned around to face him. He didn't look too good with bags under his eyes, showing a lack of sleep. I was about to ask him what was wrong when I saw him glance behind me with a weird look on his face. I turned around to see Jungkook standing behind me.

How did I not hear the door open?

I expected to see Jungkook glaring at Carter but instead he had a twisted smirk on his face. I slightly elbowed him and he looked down at me, smirk vanishing. He opened the door wider for me to go past. I stayed put and turned to look back at Carter but Jungkook grabbed me by the shoulder and guided me into the house. I tried to fight his grip but it was strong as I also tried to push past him. He turned me around to face him and I was met with a harsh glare. I took a step back in shock at his behavior and his eyes softened at my movements. I shook his hands off of me and yelled out to Carters, "I'll talk to you later," before I walked away from them both. I released Poco from his leash and he immediately ran to his food and drink bowls.

I heard the front door close behind me as I walked into the kitchen for something to drink. By the time I started to drink my apple juice, Jungkook was in the kitchen looking apologetic. I ignored him and continued to drink until he was ready to actually apologize.

He finally pulled out his phone and started typing.

: I'm sorry if I scared you and for glaring at you. I just don't like that boy

I shrugged my shoulders, "I understand that you don't like him but it looked like wanted to say something to me but then you stopped him with your aura."

: my aura?

"Yes. Your aura was coming off as aggressive as fuck even I could tell and it wasn't even directed at me at first. I wanted to hear what he had to say. I can fight my own battles Jungkook, I don't need your help."

I saw his jaw clench, : I never said that you needed my help but as your boyfriend it's my duty to protect you and that means from anyone 

My eyes widened slightly, "Boyfriend? When did you become my boyfriend? I don't remember you asking me out?"

It was his turn to shrug, : didn't need to. Last night solidified our relationship

"Last night?" I asked confused. "What are you talking about ?"

He smirked and tilted his head, : like you don't know

The fuck is he talking about? Wait, it can't be. Is he-

He patted his hand against the counter, tearing me out of my thoughts : we kissed last night remember after we spent all day together too

Ooooohhhh

I nodded my head in somewhat understanding, "Ohhhhk, well that doesn't mean that we're dating. You didn't even ask me out."

He smiled and leaned against the counter, :well then if I just did. Be my girlfriend?

Should I say yes? I don't know? Hoodie is always going to be in the picture and I don't know if I should subject Jungkook to Hoodie's wrath buttttttt I also really like Jungkook too.

He snapped his fingers before shaking his head, : how about we see how breakfast goes and then you can tell me then?

I nodded in agreement, "Sure, let's go."

I said goodbye to Poco and made sure I locked the door. I got ready to head to my car when I noticed another car next to mine in the driveway. It was a black 2023 Mercedes Benz EQS- class.

This car isn't even out yet and this person already has one. Was it there when I took Poco for a walk earlier?

I just shrugged it off and walked up to the driver's side and saw Jungkook grinning at me before he rolled down the window.

"Well I can see that you got your car." I said.

He nodded his head and motioned for me to get in. I quickly headed to the passenger side and climbed in. When I fastened my seatbelt, he shifted into gear and took off.

"This car isn't even out yet, how'd you get so lucky?"

He just shrugged in response.

"Hmm, I was looking at it for if I wanted an upgrade but I saw how expensive it was and I didn't feel right buying a car for what I could spend on a house." I started to run my fingers across the upholstery, "I like these seats, especially the color of them. The whole interior really, my favorite colors are black and purple."

I turned to look at him when he didn't respond but then remembered that he doesn't talk. Talk about face palm.

He reached over and grabbed my hand, lacing my fingers with his. He brought our intertwined hands up to his mouth and kiss them. Woah if I was any lighter, I'd be red as Rudolph's nose.

I cleared my throat, "Is your Bluetooth connected to the radio?"

He nodded his head yes and nodded towards the radio dial. I reached over and turned it on, hearing GOT7's NaNaNa start playing through the speakers.

I gasped, "You listen to GOT7 now?! Look at me rubbing off on you," I said jamming to the song.

He looked over at me and smiled before turning his attention back to the road. I had my little jam session and I gotta say his music taste is on point. It's almost like he got one of my playlists on his phone. Kehlani, Audrey Nuna, and JoJo came on and by the time we pulled up to our destination, I didn't even want to get out of the car.

When he parked the car, he turned and looked at me before reaching over to me. I closed my eyes in anticipation of a kiss but was thrown off when I heard my seatbelt unlatch. I opened my eyes and saw he was still in close proximity to my face and was trying to hold his laughter. I rolled my eyes and pushed his chest but he didn't budge. He leaned forward and pecked me on the lips causing me to break out into a huge smile.

I felt my cheeks getting hot and started to fan myself to cool them down. He pecked me again this time on my cheek and then leaned back to undo his own seatbelt. With burning cheeks, I hurried and got out of the car. I took in our surroundings and looked at the restaurant he brought us to. It looked like a nice place from the outside, from what I could tell so far. Hopefully their food is good.

"The Hoodied Figure, that's a weird name for a breakfast place," I said reading the sign. Jungkook grabbed my hand and took me up to the entrance. He opened the door and motioned for me to go in first.

"What a gentleman," I said, lightly brushing against him as I went in. I walked up to the unmanned hostess station and waited for them. I felt Jungkook come up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his head on top of mine. I placed my hands on top of his and we started to lightly sway to nonexistent music.

I took in the decor and I have to say whoever decorated this place has good taste. It looks like your typical diner but with a twist, everything is dark. From the black tile on the floor, all the way to the black chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The only pop of color is the waiters outfits which are blood red.

After a couple minutes, the hostess finally came up to us. She was pretty, brunette with green eyes and a slim body. I can already see how this is going to go because she barely glanced at me but of course Jungkook had all her attention.

"How many?" She asked, staring into his soul.

I waved my hand in her face to get her attention and she looked at me like I was shit on the bottom of her shoe.

"Two, obviously ma'am. And if you couldn't tell he's with me but I don't see how you couldn't given that his arms are literally around me," I said sickly sweet with a forced smile on my face.

She looked me up and down and rolled her eyes. "Table or booth," she asked.

"Booth," I said glaring at her. She mirrored my expression while slightly rolling her eyes, and turned to take us to our booth.

As I was sliding into the booth, she slammed my menu on the table and lightly placed Jungkook's down. Oh so this bitch wants to fight.

I cracked my neck and was about to go the fuck off on her until Jungkook placed his hand on top of mine and shook his head no. I rolled my eyes and decided that mean mugging her would work for now but she has one more time before I fuck her up.

"What can I get you to drink," she asked Jungkook twirling her hair around her finger.

He just blankly stared at her and then looked over at me to answer her.

"He'll take a water with no ice and the same for me." I said.

She snapped her head to look at me, disgust emitting from her aura, "Um, I was talking to him not you. He can speak for himself, he doesn't need you."

This time I didn't even bother to put on a fake smile when I responded, "First of all, I don't care who you think that you are but you have one more time to talk to me like you are crazy and I will fuck you up. Second, he's mute meaning he doesn't speak so yeah he does need me to speak for him. And lastly, you're the hostess anyways, why are you over here taking drink orders? So if I were you I would go back to my post before I get the manager called on me for being rude to a customer. And while you're at it, go ahead and call our actual server over here since you have nothing to do."

She looked taken back but quickly fixed her face and finally walked away. I watched her storm off and then turned my attention back to Jungkook who just looked amused.

"What?" I asked a little harshly.

He held up his hands in surrender before pulling out his phone. :easy there tigress, I mean no harm lol

"Sorry," I mumbled , "She just pissed me off with her bony ass." I crossed my arms and leaned back in irritation.

: her ass was kinda bony wasn't it? 😂

"Yes," I said throwing my hands up dramatically, "I knew I wasn't the only one who thought so."

:good thing I have a thing for someone with some curves huh?

"Have you ever been here before?" I asked.

He nodded his head, :when I first got here I came to this place and I've kinda made it my spot. The food here is pretty good, you'll like it.

"Hmm well if it is good then I'll definitely have to come more often."

:yes but only with me. Your man.

I looked up at him and he winked at me. I smiled and shook my head, giggling. I was about to respond when our waiter arrived.

"Hello I'm Taehyung but you can just call me Tae, I'll be your server today. What can I get you guys started off with, any appetizers or drinks?"

"Sorry I didn't even look at the menu yet but we'll both take a water with no ice," I said looking up and seeing a familiar face.

It was the blonde from the diner the other day. He works here? I took in his appearance and I just have to ask God why he keeps toying with me and my emotions, bringing all these good looking men into my vicinity.

I guess he could tell that I was lowkey checking him out because he gave me a big smile, " I know you don't I?" he asked me.

I shook my head slightly, "No do you?"

He tapped his chin and then snapped his fingers in recognition, "Yeah you were at the diner yesterday," he looked over at Jungkook, "with loverboy here too. Sorry that we stole him for a few minutes, just needed to talk to him about something."

"Oh about what?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, "Oh nothing for you to worry about, Mahj. Just work stuff."

I shook my head in confusion, "What do you mean work and how do you know my name?"

I turned to look at Jungkook who looked like he was about to blow a fuse, "You guys work together?"

:somewhat

Taehyung read the message too and laughed, placing his hand on Jungkook's shoulder, "Somewhat? I'm offended friend. We work together almost every day. Well I mean when he's not busy doing other things and like I said we're friends."

Jungkook threw Taehyung's hand off his shoulder and gave him a death glare. I could see Taehyung's face smile falter a little from his gaze but when he looked back at me, it was back to a thousand watt smile.

"I'll be back with your drinks," he said before heading away.

I glanced at Jungkook and it looked like he was still fuming. I reached over to grab his hand but I yelped when it felt like his hand was on fire. I blew on my hand and made eye contact with an apologetic him.

:sorry. Sometimes I just run hot when I get worked up. Is your hand ok?

He reached out to touch it but I just pulled it closer to me.

"Yes my hand is fine just a little hot is all. What type of work do you and Taehyung do?"

He looked hesitant to answer but he still started to type : we're in the business of picking up people

"What do you mean picking up people? Like y'all drive Uber or something?"

: haha not necessarily but I guess you can compare it to that but most of our "customers" aren't happy to be catching a ride

"Must pay really well huh Mr. exclusive car." I said jokingly.

He cracked a smile and nodded, : money means nothing to me. Anything you want I can make it happen

I was about to respond when Taehyung came back with our drinks. He placed them down gently and then pulled out his notepad.

"You guys ready to order?" he asked.

I smiled sheepishly, " I actually never looked over the menu still but what do you recommend?"

"Well if you're into eggs, you should get the egg overload. It comes with the cheesiest eggs you've ever had with French toast and bacon."

"Ok, I'll take that. Jungkook do you know what you want?" I asked turning to him.

Before he could type, Taehyung beat him to it, "Oh I already know what he likes to get. Remember we work together," he said winking.

I saw Jungkook's and eye twitch but he didn't make a move. Taehyung took our menus and headed to go put in our order.

I started to look around some more to people watch. I turned my head towards the kitchen that was to my left and locked eyes with someone who I would rather not see sitting at the bar.

Jimin.

The second we locked eyes he put a weird smirk on his face.

What the hell is he doing here?

I guess I was staring at him because Jungkook turned to see who I was looking at. Jimin glanced at Jungkook shortly just to wink at Jungkook and then stared at me again. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze and quickly adverted my eyes.

God's definitely got to be playing with me.

I could see him advancing from my peripheral and pretended like I was very interested in my nails.

There was a light knock on the table before I heard a throat clear. "Hey Mahj and Jungkook right? I didn't expect to see you two here, have you been here before?" Jimin asked.

"No this is my first time," I said keeping my eyes locked on the table, "Just wanted some breakfast you know."

Jimin placed his hand on my chin and turned my head towards him. He smiled gently and said, "There's those pretty eyes. Why are you trying to hide your gaze from mine? Aren't I one of your boyfriends?"

I slapped his hand off of my face and glared, "Well why would I want to look at someone who tried to break into my house last night and threatened to kill me? And consider your boyfriend card revoked."

He had the audacity to look confused, "What are you talking about? I don't even know where you live so how could I have been at your house last night?"

Now it was my turn to be confused, "Jimin, it was clearly you outside of my house last night. There's no way it could've been anyone else."

He shook his head no and just as he was about to speak Taehyung approached with our food.

"Hey Jimin," he said placing our food on the table and faced Jimin, "I'm surprised you're up this early given how late we were out last night. I barely made it in myself."

I whipped my head towards Taehyung, "Wait, you guys were out last night? Together?"

He nodded slowly, "Yeah we went to a bar and then to a house party," he quirked his eyebrow up, "Why?"

"She claims that I was outside her house last night trying to break in and kill her. Which is crazy because I don't even know where she lives and I would never do that even if I did." Jimin said.

"Huh well do you want to see pictures from last night to prove his innocence?" Taehyung asked.

"Yes," I said.

Taehyung pulled his phone out of his back pocket and unlocked, proceeding to open up his photos and hand it to me.

"Swipe left and you can see all the pics from our night."

I scrolled through the pictures and saw that their story oddly added up. There's pictures of them in a bar and at someone's party, each of them time stamped within the window that Jimin was outside my house last night.

I looked up at Jimin and mumbled an apology before handing Taehyung back his phone.

Jimin patted my head, careful not to mess up my bun, and said, "I forgive you. I know our last encounter wasn't all that pleasant and I might've scared you but I was just doing what I was-". He stopped talking to curse and reach down to rub his ankle, glaring at Jungkook who was staring at me.

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I'm sorry for acting out of character yesterday." Jimin said.

"It's fine, I guess. Sorry I accused you of doing that. Maybe it was someone else," I said placing my head in my hands in confusion.

"Hey it's ok. Anyway enjoy your breakfast you guys. Come on Tae, I need some coffee." Jimin said walking away, pulling Taehyung away with him.

I glanced down at my now cold eggs and got trapped in my thoughts.

If it was Jimin outside of my house last night then who was it? And if it was just my mind playing tricks on me, then was last night in the tub a figment of my imagination too? But it makes no sense because Hoodie was clearly there last night and the banging and the screaming. And it was clearly Jim-

I was torn out of my thoughts by a caress of my hand. I looked up to see Jungkook looking at me with concern in his eyes.

:hey don't let them ruin our day. Eat before your food gets too cold

"Ok," I said trying to clear my mind. "You're right , let's just enjoy this day. You know you look really good in those glasses. I've been meaning to tell you since this morning."

———————————

"You don't think he's mad at us for crossing the line do you?" Taehyung whispered to Jimin as they were walking away.

Jimin slightly shrugged, "I don't know but if he tells hyung on us it's your fault." He said sitting back at the bar.

"How is it my fault?" Taehyung asked sitting beside him.

Jimin poked Taehyung's chest, "You're the one who kept going on and on about how we work together and shit."

Taehyung pushed Jimin's hand off of his chest, "Yah like you weren't half ass apologizing for something you actually did do and were lowkey dropping hints about it."

Jimin put his hands up in surrender, "Hey like I told her, I'm just doing what I am told. And good think he told us to actually take some pictures to show her proof or we would've been fucked."

Taehyung nodded in agreement, "Yeah I am too. Whatever he has planned next I hope she's ready for because this is light work compared to what he could do."

Jimin sighed and looked over at Mahj who was flirting with Jungkook, "Yeah whatever his master plan is, I hope they're both ready for it."

[samlikesbooks]

kdramas i watched this month and what i think about them :

• hometown cha cha cha : this drama deserves a 5/5 rating for acting, plot, cinematography, script. this is a wonderful, comfort watch. you just cannot have enough of it in one watch. you NEED to rewatch it. (other dramas like this : i'll go to you when the weather is fine, soundtrack #1, welcome to samdalri, midnight romance in hagwon)

• taxi driver 1 : my friend suggested this to me. i love this. first of all let me talk about the female leads. OHMYGOD. this is basically about a taxi organisation who are also a secret organisation to fight crimes. i love the concept. (other dramas to watch if you liked this : a shop for killers, extraordinary attorney woo, wonderful world)

• see you in my 19th life : bro this drama had so much potential but idrk i'd give it a 3/5 maybe for the plot. i loved the acting. but the plot literally had so much potential to be better but it just felt off. (other dramas to watch if you liked this : a time called you, twinkling watermelon, 18 again, seasons of blossom, good day to be a dog, born again, goblin, midnight photo studio, destined with you, while you were sleeping)

• escape of the 7 + resurrection : kim soon-ok (writer) and joo dong-min (dir) slayed as always. like bro i literally felt so empty after watching penthouse. i HAD to watch this. the best thing i love about penthouse and this series is how the portray the characters. they're neither good nor bad. and i love how in the end they choose the ‘good’ side of them. plus, the plot twists had me dying. (other dramas like this : penthouse : war in life, pandora : beneath the paradise, lies hidden in your garden, mouse, born evil, cafe minamdang)

• born again : this drama is an absolute masterpiece. but. yes, BUT. the direction and cinematography was so weak like some of the scenes didn't even make sense. 5/5 for acting, plot. but the script could have been better. i mean honestly the plot is amazing. JUST AMAZING. there hasn't ever been anything like this drama. the actors absolutely devored but the direction bro. it was so ehe :(

• the atypical family : i started watching this because like it was being really popular in social media but i ended up binging it. it was amazing. like so good. this literally tells us why we DON'T need superpowers. like the concept of psychological disorders linked with their superpowers were really an amazing idea.

• hierarchy : wt actual fvck was this??? because i had SO MUCH hopes and excitement for this drama and it ended up being what — a 2/5? maybe. i liked the acting, but it wasn't a mystery drama at all. it was TOO westernised and it was just bland. just straight up bland. like bro a mystery/thriller set in highschool has so much potential to be good. eg : the pyramid game. IT WAS JUST A GOD DAMN MASTERPIECE.

• heartbeat : my blood boils everytime i remember this drama is literally THE MOST underrated drama of all time. if you need a good cry please watch it. it was just — WOW. like wow. i am literally at loss of words. idk. from the starting to the ending it was just WOW.

• midnight romance in hagwon : it is currently an ongoing drama. anyway, this is like one of those comfort dramas one goes to rewatch everytime they're down. it is just so cozy, and cute and amazing. i love it <3

• mouse : this. THIS. this altered my brain chemistry. dude wth was this????? this was just on another level. like after penthouse and escape of the 7, this is something one should definitely watch to fill the void in their heart. i cried so much bro this was so sad, and engaging and sometimes funny at the same time. i went through all the five stages of grief while watching it.

• highschool return of a gangster : this drama was STRAIGHTWASHED. ofc. why would they even show representation???? anyway i watched it because i loved the first episode but i hated the ending man. i hated it.

• hansel and gretel (movie) : literally deserves all the awards. you know what i mean. 5/5 for everything.

• destined with you : started watching it yesterday and im already halfway through. i love this bro. it is so funny ohmygod. and i absolutely love past lives and reincarnation tropes so this is a win-win!!

+ some jmovies i watched :

• monster : ion think i need to say something about this.

• re/member : loved this. 5/5 for everything. i loved the plot, especially how ‘loneliness brings people together to fight against the evil - which is literally their own loneliness’. i wish there was a part 2 of this movie tbh.

• the forbidden play : this shit messed with my head so bad, i literally had nightmares and couldn't sleep. no because this was horrendous. literally wtf???

[minquiec]

My 5k word essay on why I like bringing pain and suffering to the two idiots I love dearly (A thesis)

[alternative title being: me ranting abt jipunk for 2 hours straight im kiddingg]

So like

At this point I'm pretty sure most people can tell I enjoy pulling angst out of nowhere for absolutely NO reason necessary other than pain heeheehaahaa well it ain't gonna stop 😁 CAUSE TRUST THAT I will make sure every au I ever make of these two end in numbingly tragic angst one way or the other 🦅 jkjk they won't all be that bad it'll just have varying degrees of sadness

Anyways

I actually do have a reason for never giving them a happy (canonical or implied) happy ending ☝️ the thing abt me is every detail or like choice I make in character design/relationship/etc is that it's always intentional (most of the time) like there's always some kind of corny reason behind it bc I'm jwndkwjd insane and just think too hard abt two characters that don't even exist.

So like so like

I am an absolute loser for tropes like 'in another life' or 'in every life' or just anything among those lines. Like genuinely it does smth irreparable to my brain it's not even funny.

And basically the thought process for jipunk was like they're LITERALLY from different universes which quite literally means they can't end up together bc it's just not possible. But tbh the whole multiverse logic and how it works is up to interpretation cause y'know it's just a movie but personally I see it as smth pretty impossible for lore sake and stuff HAHSHA

So because the 'original' jipunk (atsv versions) can't end up together, I decided to go and think

"HMM."

"WHAT IF THEY ARE THE EPITOME OF 'ill find you in every universe" BUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM END IN THE SAME WAY (never ending up tgt)"

Cause for the different au's each of them is technically a different reincarnate in different worlds with different lives.

And like going back to when I said varying levels of sadness: what I meant was in some aus they'll be literally universes apart (which in itself is already sad asf) but in other aus they could live in the same world but their lives are like perpendicular lines because they'll meet and then never cross paths again (BECAUSE this is what their fate is supposed to be if we base it off their atsv counter parts: they were never meant to be bc they're from different universes)

BUT DONT KILL ME YET BC

technically

teccchnicaalllllyyy

In the long run they do have a happy ending

(longass run bru)

So there isn't a proper timeline for which universes 'happen first' bc that just doesn't make sense but

The modern au where it has the convenience store

Is their happy ending

Endgame au fr

Cause if you think abt it right (this is a headcanon), hb isn't the type of person to fall in love based on looks.

Yet in the modern au he ends up crushing on a silly little employee of the convenience store he goes to.

And like it's just this pull he can't understand for the life of him??? Cause it feels so shallow to him to like someone bc he thinks their pretty

Little does he know

So after they get tgt in the modern au, I'm thinking of this one moment where he kind of figures it out/sort of/not really but he is just like

"idk what it is but it feels like I've spent lifetimes with you"

BECAUSE YOU HAAAAAAVE@)$()2(# AAAAAAUEGEGHHEGEG JM SOBBING

HE SAYS IT BC HE REALIZES HIS SOUL IS JUST SO COMFORTABLE WITH HER PRESENCE ALMOST LIKE ITS GOTTEN USED TO IT SINCE A LONG LONG TIME AGO

And I realized just now but omfg the comic I made where he drunk confess and goes 'I liked you first'

HES LITERALLY BEEN LIKING HER FIRST IN THEIR FIRST LIFE (ATSV) IM GOING TO FUCKIGNNEF THROIWN UP

Soulmates idc idc IDCCCC

Took the quote I love you in every lifetime and RAAAAANNNN WITH IT

I enjoy tragic love stories tm

This isn't delusion anymore this is derangement

They r so dear to me

They are my kdramas, they are my bridgerton, they are my therapy this is how I cope.