#kaz will stay in ketterdam while inej will go out to sea. but. they're it for each other anyways. and that's So Much. To Me

[the-wraiths-wife]

I write a fanfiction about Kaz having a sister in Wattpad, named Adjala Brekker. And I just got the craziest idea. Kaz is always the baby sitter for Adjala's kids so why not write headcannons?

So I just made a few headcannons about Kaz babysitting his niece Jordan, and his two nephews Johannes and Kaz jr.

( Everytime you see a mom approved, it means the kids' mother approves of the activity )

1. "Uncle Kaz's House of Schemes": Kaz turns babysitting into a series of elaborate games and puzzles for the kids. It's like a mini heist every time they visit, complete with clues and riddles to keep them entertained. (Mum approved)

2. Kaz's version of "nap time" is "quiet planning time": When it's time for the kids to take a nap, Kaz uses this opportunity to quietly plan his next big scheme. He's convinced they're the perfect cover for his brainstorming sessions. (Mum approved)

3. Candy heist training: Kaz teaches the kids the fine art of candy heists, complete with disguises, diversion tactics, and a secret candy stash. They're the most resourceful trick-or-treaters in Ketterdam. (Mum not approved)

4. The "Ingenious Bedtime Routine": Kaz has a knack for getting kids to bed without fuss. His secret? He tells them thrilling stories about his heists until they're too excited to stay awake. (Mum approved)

5. Tiny suits and dresses: Kaz insists that the kids wear tiny suits and dresses, just like him, when they go out together. It's a comical sight seeing them dressed as miniature versions of him. (Hehe definitely mum approved)

6. Teaching the art of negotiation: Kaz imparts his negotiating skills to the kids, coaching them on how to haggle with street vendors for the best deals on toys and treats. They quickly become savvy little traders. They negotiate with daddy alot too, and their daddy always falls for this (Their dad hates this, so mum approved)

7. The "Kaz Jr. Inheritance Fund": Kaz secretly sets up a savings account for each of the kids, earmarking it as their "inheritance." He insists they learn about managing their finances from an early age. (Uncle Jes and Mumma approved)

8. "The Kaz Bunker" (my fav) : In the event of a "Kaz-sized emergency," he's built a secret bunker (a well-fortified blanket fort) in the living room. It's the perfect hiding spot for epic pillow fights and strategizing. (There's photo evidence -Inej) [mum approved - Kaz's sister]

9. Poker night (ft. Uncle jes, Daddy and uncle Wy) : Kaz introduces the kids to poker night, using candies as chips. It's all in good fun until Jesper's uncanny ability to bluff leaves Kaz Jr and Johannes with an empty stash of candy, while Jordie has a whole lot to herself. Wylan always gives his candy to Kaz jr in the end. Elijah (the kids' dad) sits their and sticks his tongue out to his brother in-law whenever he wins, only to me met by the Lethal Brekker sibling glower. (The mother doesn't aprove of this, their dad does tho)

10. Lessons in lockpicking (childproof, of course): Kaz teaches the kids the basics of lockpicking, with a set of child-friendly locks and tools. They think it's just a game, but it's secretly a life skill. (The parents don't aprove since candy is always being stolen from the kitchen)

11. Kaz and naps : when the kids' parents get back from date night of smth, they see uncle Kaz and the kids in the Kaz Bunker fort, or all of them on the ground, surrounded my toys and Kaz is laying flat on his stomach and Kaz jr is snoozing on top of him and Jordan and Johannes are snoozing in the corner. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how the bastard of the barrel gets his sleep. (Inej has photo evidence) [Daddy and mumma approved]

12: Lifeskills (ft. Uncle Matty, aunty 'nej and aunty Ninny) : so Kaz gets his gang together to preach Lifeskills to his nephews and niece. Uncle Matty adores the mini demjins. Aunty 'nej takes them in sea trips (Aunty ninny brings the snacks) [ pappa and mumma approved]

13. Shark stare classes 101: in which Kaz teaches his little trainees the signature bombastic side eye and shark like stare, along with the lethal Brekker glower, which always has the kids' dad running for the HILLS, cuz they look like his scary wife and terrifying brother in law. (Daddy and Mumma approved ladies and gentlemen)

A fanfic for this :

I'm tagging a few of the biggest SoC enthusiasts I know : @she-posts-nerdy-stuff @ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes @marsconer

[lobotomycas]

YOURE A SOC FAN OMFGFKH

YEAH AS OF LIKE. A WEEK AND A HALF AGO? I watched the show and was like oh that was neat :) I like the three heist guys :) ik there's a series about them :) and then I read the books and they rewrote my brain I think! like I am not the same person I was before that! holy shit!

[frick6101719]

Your Father’s Day Kaz fic has me in my feelings IT WAS SO GOOD would love to see more even just headcanons of Kaz as a dad

Ooooh boy... Anon there is so much more where that came from! I have told myself not to write a Kanej-as-parents fic until after I've finished the one I'm working on now, but that hasn't seemed to stop me from dreaming up almost every detail of Kaz and Inej's lives as parents.

So. Heeeere we go

Kaz and Inej aren't exactly trying, per se, the first time Inej gets pregnant.

They're a little shy of thirty at this point, Jesper and Wylan have two kiddos already, and one night they're at the Van Ecks' for their weekly Monday night dinner (a tradition over a decade strong) and Kaz is playing chess with their oldest, or teaching card tricks to their youngest, and Inej is just overtaken by some maternal instinct watching them she wants one.

She brings it up to Kaz that night that maybe they stop with the preventative measures, and he is completely terrified. I mean, he's always known he likes kids--he thinks they're funny and kind of weird and despite himself he finds their guilelessness and wonder at the world absolutely endearing... but that's not the same thing. I mean a child? Him, a father?

He's not sure. He's not sure he'd be a good dad--he's not sure he's even allowed to want to be, after all the children he's left fatherless, all the fathers whose children he's taken away.

He's never allowed himself to think about it, actually, even after he married Inej. It felt like the whole topic of parenting and fatherhood was off-limits; any time he got close it was just too tender to touch.

But they talk about it a lot, and they eventually decide that they'll stop with the tonics. For a child of Inej's... he can do it.

Inej is away at sea, many months later, when she realises she's pregnant. She had a visit planned to her parents in Ravka which ends up taking up her whole trip because she has a lot to work through--a lot of questions, a lot of fear at the sudden reality of it--and her parents and extended family are a huge help

I have so many thoughts about Inej and motherhood and entire nights spent talking with Mama Ghafa during this trip about what to expect but I'm staying on-topic goddamn it

She's early in her second trimester when she lands back in Ketterdam, and all her plans of how to tell Kaz, and how long to keep it a secret from the Van Ecks go right out the window because she's already in the early days of her second trimester and our tiny little Wraith has nowhere to hide that bump

Kaz is with Jesper and Wylan at their place when Inej arrives, and they all go to meet her at the docks and as soon as he sees her crossing berth twenty-two he knows because he knows her posture, the way she moves, her shape, everything about her so well that he notices immediately the changes to her body and it nearly brings him to his knees.

So she doesn't get to tell Kaz, but she DOES get to tell Jesper and Wylan who--and really I cannot emphasize this enough--could not be more excited.

They make a big scene at the docks; Kaz is still just a little too stunned to tell them to calm down

Over the next few months Kaz definitely spends many sleepless nights just watching Inej sleep, her belly growing more and more noticeable beneath the blankets, wondering if he's going to mess this up somehow, and why he already feels like a part of him has been ripped out and laid bare before the world, vulnerable, delicate.

He would already do anything and everything to keep her safe, to make her happy, even though little Rosanna Marya Rietveld is still months away from joining him in the big wide world.

(They decide to go with Rietveld to keep her safe, because she's only a baby, and growing up with the name Brekker or Ghafa might make her a target, and they will do anything to avoid that. So while they have other roles and names in their other lives, as a family they're the Rietvelds 🖤)

He's a fucking mess all throughout the birth--Inej's parents come over weeks before her due date so Mama Grandma Ghafa can deliver the baby, and thank the saints Grandpa Ghafa is there because Kaz is a mess--he can't bear to hear Inej in pain--and he could use a distraction. Stories of his wife as a baby, told in the calm, soothing voice of her loving father = just the distraction he needs.

Kaz barely sleeps the week after Rosanna is born, which Inej doesn't mind because it means she gets rest, but when he finally confides in her that all he can think about is Pekka Rollins, on his knees, begging for the life of his little Kaelish prince and how easy it would have been to actually hurt the boy... well, they have to deal with that.

He lies with his head in her lap and she plays with his hair in the way she knows relaxes him, and tells him that Rosie is safe, that no one can protect her like the two of them, that there isn't a person in the world she would trust with their baby's life like she trusts him.

It works pretty well.

Of course, Kaz being the control freak that he is, and being more than a little anxious about Rosie, means that Inej also has to constantly tell him no, he can't pick her up any time she even thinks about crying, she needs some discipline and she needs a schedule Kaz stop it she needs to go for her nap not another walk around the garden!

Yeah from day one he is absolutely wrapped around her little finger.

About two years after Rosanna is born, they're lying in bed, tangled together in the sheets on a hot summer night, and Inej takes his hand and gently spreads his fingers across her stomach. Kaz is like "ahh nice" and then "wait a minute" and sits bolt upright and doesn't even have to ask, Inej is smiling and laughing and nodding and this time there are no mixed emotions he's only excited because they're having another baby

Another baby girl, it turns out--Jasmijn Anaya Rietveld. Inej is shocked by the almost red hue of her hair--a drastic contrast to Rosie's near-black--but Kaz just shrugs and says Jordie's hair was kind of red when he was a kid and Inej is delighted she had no idea!

Now that they're evenly matched, parents to children, life becomes more complicated, and even with all their money Kaz simply does not trust almost anyone to help take care of the girls (Marya Hendricks is one exception). He ends up stepping a bit back from Dreg business to help take care of the girls when they're very little. Thankfully by this point the Dregs business practically runs itself, and he can take meetings at the house with his most trusted lieutenants (like Anika and Pim) to stay on top of things.

He's super involved, but his actual parenting takes a long time to get right. It's many, many years before he loses the instinct to praise the girls when they find a creative way to skirt the rules

Just kidding that instinct never goes away; he always feels proud when they manage to disobey without breaking a rule. He just gets better at being stern while reprimanding them and waiting until he's turned away to beam with pride.

He also makes the rules increasingly elaborate and detailed--he'll get rid of vague wording and imprecision as best as he can, and then it's a win-win: either they learn to follow the rules or they get really good at finding loopholes.

"Contracts, Kaz. You've got our daughters signing contracts"

"Don't be ridiculous Inej; any thinking judge would spot lesion a mile away--there's no way these 'contracts' are valid."

Then there are their little rituals; both girls know if they wake up early they can have a hot chocolate with Da before he goes to work, and they know that if they ask very nicely, and it's not too close to bedtime, he'll play them their favourite songs on the piano, so they can dance around the parlour like little hooligans until they're so tired he and Inej have to carry them upstairs to bed.

They also know that when Kaz is working from home, if they're quiet, they can go sit with him in his office. Jasmijn always climbs on his lap--she knows she has to stay on his good leg--which is lovely (years of hard work with Inej mean he never recoils at his daughters' touch), but it's never long before Jas gets chatty. Kaz never tells her she has to go, but Rosie (who is usually sitting in a chair in the corner of the office, reading a book) will repeatedly tell her to shhh Jas, Da is working.

Kaz teaches them to be dangerous girls, just like their Mama. He'll make sure they never ever need to be, but he and Inej agree that they're going to be straightforward with the girls about their lives, and that means they learn how to pick locks and fight dirty at three and six years old.

They get their knife-throwing lessons from Mama too. Strangely, no one has to teach them how to climb the side of a building.

Anyway. Rosanna and Jasmijn grow up loved to death by their Mama and Da, and of course all their numerous "aunts" and "uncles" (aka any of the higher-ranking Dregs with enough guts to teach the girls to call them aunt or uncle).

And every time Inej wakes up to find the other side of the bed empty, she doesn't worry. She knows she'll find Kaz in the chair in the girls' room, awake and watching them silently. She'll fall back asleep thinking how her Papa was right--she did find a boy who gave her her favourite flowers.