#kawa-san is my [y/n] san

[silverflqmes]

໒⦂ 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐔 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒.

notes. reposted and edited from wp! happy holidays and merry christmas to those who celebrate!

genre. fluff + crack

ft. tooru oikawa, tetsuro kuroo, rintaro suna, shoyo hinata, kenji futakuchi, hajime iwaizumi, osamu miya

gender neutral! reader

➫ 𝓞𝗜𝗞𝗔𝗪𝗔 𝓣𝗢𝗢𝗥𝗨 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ HOT COCO HOT COCO HOT COCO

⌗ he loves to sit near the fire place with either you seated on his lap or just plopped up above him on the couch or beneath if you're more my style AHAHAHAHA

⌗ LOVES HALLMARK MOVIES i mean look at him, he would so watch them.. but he wouldn’t mind the classics like elf, christmas story ( my fav fr ), the home alone duology or national lampoon’s christmas vacation🫶

⌗ "I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUU Y/N-CHAAAAANNNN!!" — after watching elf and doing last minute christmas shopping going up the escalator ( he’s silly )

⌗ would totally play old jazzy christmas songs and pull you close to him, swaying gently in the kitchen or by the fireplace to the melody with the smell of balsam in the air❤️

⌗ you already know he would have lured you under the mistletoe too somehow🧎

⌗ "oh wow! i wonder how this got here!!🙀"

➫ 𝓚𝗨𝗥𝗢𝗢 𝓣𝗘𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗥𝗢 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ y'all woke up LATE on christmas day istg, but tetsuro hooked you up real nice with presents ykyk he made that bank af and worked those extra hours just for you<3

⌗ THE DECORATIONS ARE SO PRETTY ISTG WHO LET HIM HAVE THIS MUCH TASTE, WHO ALLOWED HIM TO SLAY THAT HARD

⌗ unlike kawa, kuroo took you for dinner and made a day out of it? he took you ice skating, out to see the lights and decorations, tossed a few snowballs at you to piss you off🧎

⌗ "come onnn, i promise i won't let you fall~"

⌗ it ends up snowing a bit later into the night on your way back home, so he gave you his scarf, long coat AND mittens.. hooked you up fr

⌗ except.. nothing fits aside from the scarf, but are you complaining? no🙄 although you did yell at him for it cuz he could get sick</3

⌗ he had an entire argument prepared as to why he wouldn't get sick and you could have sworn that he mentioned the periodic table somewhere🧍‍♂️spoiler alert- he gets sick the next day

➫ 𝓢𝗨𝗡𝗔 𝓡𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗢 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ ngl at first you were SO confused as to why suna didn't have a christmas tree in his living room, but one in his bedroom until christmas day..

⌗ Y'ALL DID NOT MOVE THE ENTIRE DAY

⌗ "rin, we gotta open the presents y'know.. and i kinna want breakfast.. we gotta get up at some point."

⌗ "the presents are under our tree over there by the dresser, just peek under and you'll see them. as for breakfast, kita-san’s coming over with everyone later. problem solved."

⌗ tbfh the laziest christmas you could ever imagine, but like you can’t complain, it was nice to just unwind a bit

⌗ he did keep the spirit of the holidays with a good bit of christmas movies, for sure the grinch who stole christmas ( it’s his favorite )

⌗ later on, true to his words, kita showed up around 7:30 with the rest of the team and y'all had sum good ass food and hot coco after reluctantly dragging suna out of bed to get ready🤲

➫ 𝓗𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗔 𝓢𝗛𝗢𝗬𝗢 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ boy are you in for it🧎

⌗ shoyo woke you up at four in the morning with natsu in tow, dragging your ass to the living room where the tree was filled with a wide arrangement of presents

⌗ you were still half asleep and since you were staying at shoyo's for the holidays — you uh.. weren't allowed to start opening gifts till seven LMAOO so you guys started guessing the presents instead; yk getting a feel of them

⌗ "WOAH THIS ONE'S SUPER BIG, I-IT COULD BE ANYTHING!"

⌗ "sho, the only thing it's gonna end up being is a wake up call to your mom and then you'll never know what it is."

⌗ tobio comes over later and y'all have a snowball fight together🥺

⌗ you and natsu won LMAOOOO poor lil birb was upset, but your kisses made things better for him❤️

➫ 𝓕𝗨𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗨𝗖𝗛𝗜 𝓚𝗘𝗡𝗝𝗜 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ ugh yes dateko's baddest bitch😩 another grinch enjoyer tbh

⌗ this man woke you up with a snowball to your face before shouting out merry christmas

⌗ although it was a cheap shot, getting you while VULNERABLE, you couldn't stay mad at him, as you loved this piece of shit so dearly😪

⌗ HOWEVER. that didn't mean you didn't get his ass back the minute he dropped his guard when you went outside to turn your christmas lights off for the day

⌗ "huh, so you think you can be a cheeky little shit with me on such a loving day? and get away with it?"

⌗ "and what? you don't hear me complaining, now do you kenji?”

⌗ in spite of being complete little shits to each other, you laughed it off after awhile and just spent your evening curled up together on your couch with a plate of sugar cookies that you both had baked the night before ( ofc you can guess there was a war of flour and baking tools then too )

➫ 𝓘𝗪𝗔𝗜𝗭𝗨𝗠𝗜 𝓗𝗔𝗝𝗜𝗠𝗘 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ y'all have the coziest christmas honestly

⌗ you and hajime don't wake up too early or too late; it's just the right time and you're both completely prepared for all that's to come for the day

⌗ the two of you start off with unwrapping presents, then iwaizumi makes you the BEST breakfast ever istg, TELL ME HE DOESN'T COOK RN IF YOU WANNA GET TUSSLED

⌗ ngl tooru taught him some good shit when it came to making hot coco and you swore you were just about ready to tap into heaven at that immaculate taste

⌗ "oh my gosh, haji, what did you put in this, it's so.. it's better than amazing!"

⌗ "while i want tell you, i'm ‘sworn to secrecy’, his words not mine, by that fool oikawa with his secret recipe bullshit." he can’t lie though, whatever tf tooru invented was otherworldly..

⌗ not even an hour later you found it on starbucks' secret menu app and you showed it to your boyfriend who flipped his shit before sprinting over to his friend’: house with two snowballs in hand ( with hard snow.. praying for my man to dodge more than ever ); the outcome.. wasn't the prettiest😔

➫ 𝓜𝗜𝗬𝗔 𝓞𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗨 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD did i say food? yes, food.

⌗ all you two did that whole entire day was EAT?? NOT EVEN THAT BUT YOU HAD A WHOLE CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER TOO THE NIGHT BEFORE HXJSKSKS OSAMU DOES NOT PLAY GAMES WHEN IT COMES TO CHRISTMAS

⌗ atsumu invites himself over as usual and there's chaos in the kitchen of course..

⌗ "OUTTA THE WAY 'SAMU, I WANNA DECORATE COOKIES TOO!!"

⌗ "if you don't quit whinin' right now 'tsumu, i'm gonna beat yer ass and toss ya out in the snow."

⌗  bantering aside, the cookies were super pretty?? they tasted heavenly too, cookies from scratch go hard and whatever recipe those two were taught.. yum

⌗ osamu had nonalcoholic eggnog prepared for you and him to have after atsumu went home and the two of you exchanged the presents you had for one another before cuddling near the tree and fireplace for the night<3

notes. forgot to repost this before with the other reposts but it was kinda out of season.. so i waited for the holidays to blow in to fixed them up a bit and post them on here. furthermore, super sorry for the lack of activity, been working on my og wip as of late and my longer fics on wp :’) hope you understand</3

↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask

[isimpfornatsume]

Jealousy (Oikawa x reader) part 1

Masterlist | part 2

(2nd person POV)

Oikawa Tooru was your childhood  friend. Your parents were close with Oikawa's parents and that's how you met him. When you were in your 1st year in middle school, your parents decided to host some sort of gathering with Oikawa's parents, there, u met the most handsome boy ever, Oikawa. Handsome is not even a word you'd use to describe him. The word would be...

...

Ethereal...

 The both of you went into the same middle school and since that gathering you can't help but harbor feelings for this chocolate colored hair boy. Throughout your middle school journey, the both of you became closer and closer and decided to enroll into the same high school, Aoba Johsai. On graduation day, Oikawa confessed to you. "Hey. Y/N-chan. I-I think I-I have a crush on you," Oikawa said that day and you could remember it oh-so clearly. It was the 1st time you heard that confident boy stutter and saw him blush. "Oikawa-san, I-I like you too!" you muttered out that day and you swore you saw his eyes that couldn't possibly be any brighter, lit up brighter than ever. "Be my gf then N/N-chan!" he said excitedly. Oh dear lord, he seemed so happy when you agreed to it, like giving a child the gift they had wished for for a long time on Chirstmas.

That was how you 2 had started dating...

When you and Oikawa were a 1st year in Aoba Johsai, he joined the volleyball club and you signed up as their manager. Damn, was Oikawa happy to see you, his gf, every practice giving him a towel and some water. Not many people noticed you and Oikawa at 1st everyone thought you two were just close friends. Until... Oikawa became a regular after the 3rd years stopped playing and focus on their studies. A/N: idk what u call it. Oikawa did a spectacular serve during one of the matches and went on the news! Oh how happy and proud you were when he went on the news. The both of you celebrated it over some milk bread and favourite/food (F/F in short). 

After that Oikawa's popularity shot up and over the course of half a year, he stopped showing much physical affection to you and when you asked he just said, "Y/N-channnn. You know i would love to show affection but I'm popular now and I have a freaking fan club. A/N: which I am a proud member of. I don't want anyone bullying you because you're receiving my affection. You understand right? N/N-chan?" "I-I understand. We can show affection in secret like in the storage room, changing room and at home right?" you asked innocently. "Yup! We can! I knew you would understand N/N-chan! I love you so much!" Oikawa told you. You blushed, "I-I love you too. So so much."

Not long later, on the 2nd last day of sch for the year,  Oikawa received a confession from the most popular girl in school, her name was Ruby. Ruby had long hazel brown hair and sapphire like eyes which complimented her fair skin so beautifully. Not only that, she was a year older than you and Oikawa! And she was exactly Oikawa's type, his dream girl. 

"I-I'll think about it and give u my answer tomorrow..." Oikawa replied to her confession with his whole face tinted pink. 

Little did Oikawa know that you heard the whole conversation between Oikawa and Ruby. 'What's there to think of? He already has me. Unless... he want to break up with me...' you thought.

"Kawa!" you rushed to him once Ruby was gone, pretending that you didn't eavesdrop on the confession that took place a few moments ago.

"Hey my cute little N/N-chan. How was school today?" Oikawa responded, turning around to give me one of his award winning smile that every girl including you would swoon over.

"Meh. School was pretty boring but not when you're here!" you whispered to him, not wanting anyone else to hear.

"Come on my little princess~ lets go home. How about you crash at my place tonight?" he asked excitedly

"Hmm. Let me text mom 1st." you answered hoping your mom says yes.

Both you and Oikawa's parents know about you two dating and they obviously approved. Your mom especially was super happy that Oikawa was your bf. She would very often ask some questions about you and Oikawa's relationship then later on not-so-secretly tell Oikawa's mom about your answers. (she talks loudly to Oikawa's mom on the phone) Your mom would always invite Oikawa over for lunch/dinner and same goes to Oikawa's mom. The both of your moms often host gatherings that consist of you, Oikawa, his mom and your mom (since both of your  dads were busy at work) to talk and gossip about your relationship with Oikawa right infront of the both of you. And if that wasn't enough, your mom would show Oikawa and his mom your embarrassing childhood pictures when she host the gathering and vice visa when Oikawa's mom host the gathering. All you could do was look at Oikawa pitifully. A/N: enough with my blabbering. Sowwy about that 🙇🏻‍♀️

You checked your messages every few seconds until you got a reply from mom.

Mom💗(Birth giver):

 you can crash at Oikawa's place but be careful ok sweetie? Don't be a nuisance for Mrs Oikawa!

Y/N🥰:

Ok yay thanks mom! luv u!

"Mom said yes! Yay! I can sleepover at yours!" you exclaimed jumping up and down with excitement.

((Time skip till you're at Oikawa's house))

"Having fun N/N-chan?~" Oikawa asked.

"Yup! I love it here!" you declared with a cup of hot coca that Mrs Oikawa made for you. "Want some?" you questioned.

Oikawa took this as an opportunity to tease you and held your wrist that was holding the cup to lift the cup up and take a sip of your hot coca. You blushed so hard and stammered, "Oi-Oikawa what are you doing?!" "Drinking your hot coca," he replied innocently. 'I swear that guy is gonna be the cause of my death' you thought.

"Oh ya N/N-chan. I wanted to talk to you about something..." Oikawa stated in a serious tone.

'Uh oh. I do not like how this sounds. Oikawa is hardly every serious unless it is volleyball or a very important matter. Could it be about Ruby's confession?!' your thoughts were all over the place, they seem to be everywhere all at once.

"Y/N-chan. I got a confession from Ruby-senpai and I'd like to discuss with you about it..."

[soranihimawari]

The Taste of Rain

When I say the second years at Karasuno are squad goals, I wasn’t expecting to like them this much.

Ennoshita has a crush on a fellow classmate, Kawa-san [y/n-chan], but due to the VBC gaining popularity, he has Kazuhito act as his second. 

friends to lovers at Karasuno High. 2nd Year Crows are a blessing.

When the final bell rang to signal the end of classes for the day, I swiftly gathered my belongings into my bag which I slung over my shoulder. A few more months were left until graduation. In the past three years alone, I have managed to somehow keep my grades within the top percentage of my school. High school wasn’t supposed to be easy, supposedly some would say it might be the best time of my life. 

Unfortunately, whomever said that clearly wasn’t talking about me. All these thoughts circulated my head as I stood up to leave the classroom for the day. My classmates, Rina and Akari, were already in the hallway making plans for the weekend checking on their social calendars that were littered with daily reminders for varying sport club matches. 

“Let’s go to the cat cafe on Saturday Rina!” Akari suggested. She was always willing to take a break at the beginning of the school week claiming that if she didn’t, we’d regret studying for so long. According to her, we needed to take breaks to give our brains time to unwind and relax for a day or two. 

“Can’t do Saturday. The volleyball club has a match. Why don’t we go to the game instead?” Rina asks. Rina had grown to be close to Akari since elementary school. Childhood friends like them were deemed inseperable since the age of seven. However, Rina had always been supportive of a majority of the sports clubs (via taking inventory of club equipment) while Akari was mainly focused on cheering for its members with the other family members of the players. 

“Terrific! Sounds like a plan. Besides, we can always go to the cat cafe some other day after class.”

“So, we get to hear you cheer for us, right?” one of the club members approached the pair with a smile across his face.

“Of course Tanaka,” Rina claps her hands together returning his grin. “I had to remind Akari, but y’know we’ll both be there.”

I was a few feet away from the three of them in the emptying hallway. I adjusted my bag on my shoulder before ducking in between them and ushering out a hurried, “Excuse me.” I rounded the corridor to begin my decent downward to the school courtyard.

“Oh, sorry Kawa-san!” I heard Akari’s voice traverse toward me. I smile weakly at the trio. It wasn’t often that Tanaka was caught not chasing any other female student than Shizumi-san, but the majority of the other girls in our year value his (and by association, Nishinoya’s) commitment to complimentating how well nature graces her presence. It might seem as though I am bitter by never even coming close to this sensation, but truth be told, I had my eyes set on a different classmate altogether. 

I was already on the first floor of the school switching out my school shoes for the black combat boots I typically wear those since they matched the majority of my non-uniform wardrobe. 

“Kawa-san?” 

I perked my head up to where I heard my name being called. I saw Kazuhito approach me with a shy smile. 

“Yo,” I greeted. I finished tying my boots before I stood back up. “You alright?”

“Oh! Yeah, I’m fine,” Kazuhito began. “Here.” 

He hands me a small note folded into a diamond. I noticed firstly the handwriting wasn’t his--it was Ennoshita’s, I chewed the inside of my cheek in feign surprise.

“Ah.”

“Ennoshita wanted to give it to you himself, but he was meeting the others in the gym for practice.”

“Then can you do me a favor Kazuhito?” 

I return the unopened envelope to him. He blinked momentarily before taking the note back.

“What do you want me to tell Ennoshita? You know how he feels about you,Kawa.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose taking a deep breath trying to come up with a viable reason until I blurted out the following, running a hand through my hair.

“He is enough.”

“Mmm,” Kazuhito hummed. “I’ll tell him. Oh and Kawa-san, I finally see why my friend likes you so much.”

I gave him a curt nod right after I shut the door of my locker remnants of the blush made at his comment.  

===

[15:42]

from Kazuhito

to Ennoshita

Chikara, Kawa-san wanted me to remind you of something.

[16:09]

from Ennoshita 

to Kazuhito

why do you have the note i wrote?

[16:11]

-incoming call from Kazuhito Narita-

“He is enough.” 

The call ended as soon as Kazuhito realized his phone dialed his teammate purposefully by accident. A knowing grin forming on the wing spiker’s face as she walked away from him toward the route leading toward the cafe close to her neighborhood.

===

“For the final time, the answer to the last part of the equation was to use a log!” Ennoshita grumbled looking over his algebra-2 quiz sheet. The score was still high enough to qualify as passing, but considering he was the head of the study group among his fellow second years,it irked him to get such a simple question wrong. The boys were hanging out at the Tanaka-siblings house once again (an invitation was extended toward me after the results of the last game allowed the team to successfully advance to the next stage of the qualifiers).

“And it’s a shame that the one with perfect marks on that quiz is the same one noticing you did your order of operations wrong,” I barked. I held up my quiz sheet with the 100% tally to his embarrassed face. 

“I-what?! No way,” Ennoshita replied. He was about to retaliate before he compares his work with mine. “No freaking way.”

I shook my head to let out an exasperated sigh. “I told you so, Chikara.”

“You’re lucky I like you, Kawa.”

“And here I thought Kazuhito did.”

“Don’t drag me into this,” Kazuhito says putting up his hands to claim his innocence.

“Kawa-san is scary,” Tanaka whispers loud enough for the others to hear.

“They both are,” Noya replied hearing the two of us squabble.

“It’s not that hard to believe Ennoshita confessed first though,” Kinoshita states. “Is it?”

“EH!?”

“Fine,” I said breaking out into a short-lived giggle. Upon hearing my laughter, the room fell quiet. “Just don’t come crying to me if you forget how to solve maths problem. C’mon, we have more pressing subjects to get to.”

“Alright. What’s next quiz master?” Ennoshita slip of the tongue caused him to blush a deep shade of scarlet; he was strict in tutoring his fellow teammates, but it takes no less than twenty seconds for me to process what the nickname meant.

“International modern lit,” I reply switching notebooks. 

Saeko came in with a tray of snacks as we each began our work. That is until Ennoshita baits me into reciting “TheTaste of Rain” by Kerosau to which I clear my throat with a teasing smile.

“The Taste of Rain, by Jack Kerosau,” I begin, eyes closed as I imagine the words of the poem lifting off the pages scattered around.

American Haiku by Jack Kerouac

The taste of rain – Why kneel?

The bottom of my shoes are clean from walking in the rain.

Snap your finger stop the world – rain falls harder.

After the shower among the drenched roses the bird thrashing in the bath.

Early morning gentle rain, two big bumblebees Humming at their work

Birds singing in the dark —Rainy dawn.

The rain has filled the birdbath Again, almost

Useless, useless, the heavy rain Driving into the sea.

The little worm lowers itself from the roof By a self shat thread

Nightfall, boy smashing dandelions with a stick.

frozen in the birdbath A leaf

In my medicine cabinet the winter fly has died of old age

Missing a kick at the icebox door It closed anyway.

I conclude reading this poem aloud and was about to ask my study group a question, but instead I feel a pair of lips press against my cheek. I blink in my confusion, but when I clear my throat, I noticed I choose to stay quiet, bringing my hand up to my face which now is flushed in embarrassment.

“You don’t taste of rain,” his voice says briefly avoiding my gaze. It’s such a simple thing, a kiss on the cheek? Child’s play, but game on ennoshita.

“He’s not wrong,” Kazuhito says, picking up one of the snacks on the table.

—19:07—

You thank your hosts for allowing you to come study at their place. Saeko mentioned you’re welcome anytime. Tanaka and Noya had agreed that if they needed help with their school work, they were going to find you first and ask you because you are alot more patient than Ennoshita (he still home the ruler though if you’re not available).

“Of course boys, you know where to find me,” I said before thanking them again.

Narita and Kazuhiro had left a little earlier than I did, yet I think it was because ennoshita and the others asked them to. I don’t know why I have this feeling, but the anxiety soon leaves when I hear yelling behind me. I stop and turn around to see Enno run down the block toward me, arms flailing, making me laugh a little.

“Kawa-San! Wait up!” He catches up to me quite quicker than I had imagined. Did he get faster? Athletic clubs are scary sometimes. He brushes past me when I step to the side so he can stop properly.

“Woah there Enno. Slow down!”

“I did,” he tells me, walking back toward me.

“Calm yourself first, mmk? Then you can walk me home.”

I slipped my hand in his giving it a reaffirming squeeze right before I stood up on my toes to kiss his cheek. This year is gonna be great...

[let-me-simp-in-peace]

Finally (Bokuto x Reader) Oneshot

2:14am

Bokuto has added Akaashi, Kuroo, Kenma, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Hinata, Yamaguchi, Kiyoko, Yachi, and Atsumu to the group chat.

Bokuto has named the group chat ‘HELP ME”

Everyone is online

Bokuto: HELPD ME

Kuroo: Bro what’s wrong?

Bokuto: I NEED HELP AND YOURE THE MOST HELPFUL PEOPLE I KNOW

Akaashi: Bokuto-san tell us what’s wrong first

Bokuto: I THINK IM IN LOVE

Oikawa: OH MY GOD IS IT FINALLY HAPPENING???

Iwaizumi: You might find out if you stop talking

Oikawa: Mean Iwa-chan

Hinata: Don’t worry! We’ll help you!

Kenma: Who is it?

Bokuto UM IT KIND OF MIGHT BE Y/N

Atsumu: KAWA ITS FINALLY HAPPENING

Oikawa: I KNWO ATSU

Yamaguchi: BokuY/n >> 

Hinata: YES YAMS

Kiyoko: AHHHDH IM SO EXCITED

Yachi: I KNEW IT

Bokuto: GUYS HELP SHOULD I TELL HER???

Oikawa: YES

Atsumu: YES

Hinata: YES

Kiyoko: YES

Yamaguchi: YES

Yachi: YES PLS

Iwaizumi: YES

Kenma: YES

Kuroo: YOU GO BRO

Akaashi: YES

Bokuto: OKAY

Oikawa: How do you plan to do it?

Bokuto: I HAVE NO IDEA

Iwaizumi: Can’t he just tell her?

Atsumu: It has to be special!

Yachi: I’m pretty sure she would say yes even if you called her now lol

Bokuto: OKAY

Bokuto is offline

Yachi: WAIT THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT

Oikawa: YACHI WHY

Yachi: I DIDNT KNWO HE WOUDL DO IT

Akaashi: Bokuto-san is not the type to think before acting

Kuroo: Yeah I have to side with Kaashi on this one. As much as I love my bro, he’s kinda dense

Kenma: Kind of?

Kuroo: He’s really dense

Yamaguchi: How long has he been pining for her? I lost count

Hinata: He first started talking about (Nickname)-san 2 years ago

Kiyoko: And Y/n first mentioned him after that training camp in her first year of high school. 

Hinata: WHAT???

Iwaizumi: Wtf that was 4 years ago

Atsumu: How did she hide it for that long?

Oikawa: YEAH we only figured it out during her last year of high school

Yamaguchi: I didn’t know she was so good at hiding her feelings

Akaashi: I don’t think that’s a good thing

Kiyoko: The only reason Yachi and I knew was because we spent so much time with her

Yachi: Even then she didn’t tell us until she was a second year

Hinata: Do you think Bo-san has told her yet?

Kenma: All we can do is wait

~Meanwhile~

Bokuto paced around his room, phone clenched tightly in his hand. Your contact was open on the screen, but every time he went to hit ‘Call’, he chickened out.

“What if she doesn’t like me?” He mumbled. “Oh god, what if I ruin everything? What if she starts to hate me?!” 

Bokuto groaned in frustration, dropping his phone on his nightstand, completely unaware that he had accidentally hit the ‘Call’ button when he did. 

~

You groaned softly at the sound of your phone ringing. You rolled over in bed, nearly knocking it off the nightstand as you tried to pick it up. You blinked blurrily at the screen.

Bokuto is calling…

“Huh?”

You sat up and swiped your finger across the screen to answer the call. You raised it to your ear, reaching for the lamp as you did. After some fumbling, light flooded the room.

“Bo? Why are you-”

You paused at what you heard next. 

“How the hell am I supposed to tell her?”

Bokuto’s voice sounded distant. He must not be near the phone. Did he call you by accident?

You were about to call his name again when he continued. 

“It would be different if it was just a random girl, but it’s not.”

You pushed the covers back and stood up, searching for something to wear. You put your side of the phone on mute, set the phone on speaker, and started getting dressed. 

“This is someone important to me. If I lose her, I-” Bokuto’s voice cracked harshly, and you felt your heart clench.

He must really love her.

You slid your shoes on and grabbed your house keys. You connected your phone to your headphones and continued to listen. Bokuto only lived twenty minutes away by foot, but you had a car, so it would only take about five to ten minutes to get there, depending on how fast you drove.

You got into the car and reached for the seatbelt, freezing when you heard sniffles on the other side of the phone. You quickly clicked the seatbelt into place, turned on the ignition, and pulled out of your driveway. 

It was dark, and the streets were empty. You were incredibly thankful for it because you reached the apartment building easily. You parked in the parking lot of the park down the street and ran the rest of the way there. Once you were inside, you headed straight for the elevator. Once you were inside, you jabbed the button for the 3rd floor, tapping your foot impatiently as you waited. 

“How do you tell your best friend that you’re in love with them?” Bokuto mumbled.

The elevator doors finally opened, and you ran down the hallway. You reached Bokuto’s apartment and raised your hand to knock, only to freeze at the words that left his mouth next. It was almost inaudible, but you heard it as if it was spoken right next to you.

“I can’t lose, Y/n.”

Your heart was beating too loud to hear anything else. You ripped the headphones out of your ears and ended the call. 

Bokuto was talking about you. 

He’s in love with you.

Oh my god, he’s in love with YOU.

You knocked (probably a bit louder than you should’ve, but you were too shocked to care). After a minute, you heard shuffling, the sound of a lock clicking, and the door opened. 

Bokuto’s eyes were puffy and red from crying. You could see the remnants of tears on his shirt. His eyes widened when he saw you standing there. 

“Y/n?” You almost winced at how hoarse his voice was. 

Nervousness swelled like a tidal wave in your chest. 

“Can I come in?”

Bokuto didn’t respond. He just stepped back and opened the door wider. You slipped past him, watching silently as he locked the door back. He turned around, jumping when he found you standing right behind him. He started to make a joke, but he saw how serious you looked. 

“What’s wrong?

Your gaze darted away before returning to him. “Can I ask you a question, and have you promise to answer me honestly?”

That made him nervous. “You’re really worrying me, Y/n.”

“Promise me.” There was something almost desperate in your eyes, so Bokuto nodded quickly.

“I promise.”

You nodded slowly. “Do you..Do you love me?”

Bokuto’s eyes widened to the point that he really matched an owl. You probably would’ve laughed if you weren’t on the verge of panicking.

“I..” Bokuto swallowed thickly, his voice almost inaudible. “...Yes. I do.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself for you to scream at him, to tell him you never wanted to see him again, but…

It never happened. 

Instead, he felt your fingertips brush his cheek before you pressed your lips to his. It was just a soft press of lips, but it still took his breath away. 

When he opened his eyes, you were smiling softly at him. “I love you too, Kotarou.” 

It took a minute for him to process your words, and you waited patiently while it sank in. You knew when it did because a grin split across his face, and he wrapped you up in his arms. 

“Hey hey hey, that’s awesome!”

You giggled at his excitement, squeezing him back just as tight. 

Nothing had ever felt this right.

~~~

2:43am

In the ‘HELP ME’ group chat

Bokuto is online

Bokuto: (Bokuto has sent an attachment)

*In the photo, you and Bokuto are laying on his bed. He has one arm wrapped around you while the other is raised to take the photo. One of your arms is under his head while the other is slung over his stomach. Your head is resting on his chest. Bokuto has a huge smile on his face, and you’re grinning, seemingly caught while you were laughing.*

Bokuto: GUESS WHO HAS A GIRLFRIEND

Oikawa: OH MY GOD

Atsumu: HDJKHSAIO YES

Yachi: FINALLY

Kiyoko: YAYYYYY IM SO HAPPY

Hinata: GOOD JOB BO-SAN

Akaashi: I wish you two all the happiness in the world

Kuroo: YOU DID IT BRO

Kenma: I’m glad you two are happy

Iwaizumi: I think you two will be really good together

Yamaguchi: I hate to sound like a broken record but

Yamaguchi: BOKUY/N >>

Bokuto: THANKS GUYS

Bokuto: Y/N SAYS THANK YOU TOO

Hinata: No problem!

Iwaizumi: Glad we could help

~~~

Bokuto sat his phone down and grinned at you. “Can I take you on a date tomorrow?”

You smiled, eyes glowing with amusement. “You have practice tomorrow, and I have a bakery to run.”

Bokuto pouted when he remembered everything the two of you had to do. You giggled and kissed his cheek, tangling your hands together. “How about we have a movie marathon this weekend?”

Bokuto’s expression brightened immediately. “Deal!”

[iwadori]

Haikyu Boys when they neglect you for another girl PT 2(Oikawa)

Part 1  Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Word count: 2.1K

Genre: angst,fluff

Oikawa:

You Oikawa and Iwaizumi have been best friends for as long as you can remember  

You thought that Iwaizumi liked you, but all thoughts of that left your head once Oikawa confessed to you when you were in your last year of middle school.

You and Oikawa started dating you in highschool in your first year and have been inseperable ever since.

You and Oikawa were as opposite as you were the same making you a perfect match.

It was the first day of your final term of your third year. You and Oikawa were planning to go the same university but to do that you obviously need to pass your entrance exams so you fully immersed in your studies.  

You have been the manager of Seijoh since your first year, but because of how time consuming it is and you now fully want to focus on your studies you decided to step down from your title. However, you still were fully supportive of the team making sure to go to every one of their games and even coming to majority of their practices with your textbooks and notes with you.

It seems someone took your place as the manager, yet you don’t know who as have been so busy all you could do in finding your replacement was stick up some posters telling whoever wanted the job to talk to the coaches. But you hope the new manager is at least half as good as you.

You decide after school, you were going to take a break from studying so you went to go to the gym to see your boyfriend and the guys at practice. When you enter, you see all the boys fussing and fanning over someone who you couldn’t tell who it was.  

You spot Iwaizumi away from the crowd tying his laces, when you approach him he looks up and smiles fondly at you, “Hey Y/N” he says schooching over so you can sit next to him.

“Hey Haji” you say ruffling his hair playfully “Who’s the celebrity?”  

“Oh Ririka-san” he responds “The new manager” when he says this he slightly scowls, but you don’t quite catch it as your focus is on your boyfriend who is being his usual boastful self infront of who you presume is ‘Ririka-san.’

As the group disperses, they all approach you with Oikawa lifting you up and spinning you obnoxiously making you laugh at his action. “Well hello to you to Tooru” you say kissing him on the cheek.

You look in front of you and there was Ririka with her hand extended out for you to shake “Hi I'm Yagami Ririka” she says “But you can call me Ririka, you’re Y/N right?”  

You shake her hand quickly dropping it responding with a dry “hi.” Oikawa notices the awkward atmosphere that you created with your response and decides to drag you away to show you his serves. You weren’t fully focused on your boyfriend, with your eyes occasionally drifting to the new girl who seemed to give you a bad vibe from your first introduction.

Practice ends, and Oikawa walks you home (per usual.) Once you are at home, you decide to social stalk Ririka to see if you can find something to confirm your suspicions on her. You’re claims weren’t based on anything besides a vibe but since she is apparently in your year and always has been you find it weird that you haven’t heard a word about her all until now. You don’t find anything on her, besides her being as ‘perfect’ as she seems.

As you and Oikawa walk home together again from the next day’s practice, you were hoping that he shared your same concerns about Seijohs manager but when you ask “Kawa.. Don't you think Ririka-san is a bit odd?”

He looks at you curiously, smiles and says “No of course not, Rii-chan is fine”

‘Rii-chan’ you think, a slight pang of jealousy surges through you at the use of this newfound nickname  

“In some ways she reminds me of you, you know?” he says chuckling, but you weren’t listening focused on the name he just called her.

“Rii-chan, huh?” you say

“It’s just a nickname Y/N, I give them to everone, you know that Y/N” he says

“Yeah yeah I know Kawa, I was just overthinking that’s all” you lie, you knew Oikawa gave everyone a nickname but this one definitely stuck on your mind then all of others and although you can admit your jealousy but there was something else bothering you.

“Well don’t overthink too much” Oikawa says giving you a kiss on the forehead “Don’t want to heart your pretty head about it.” Oikawa then lets you enter your house before taking off to his own.

Over the next few weeks, you are mainly focused on your studies, barely having any time to be with your boyfriend at all. However, if you did even have the time to spend with Oikawa, he was definitely not available since all his time was now with ‘Rii-chan,’ whenever you asked him to hang out with you or to go on dates he always used the excuse of ‘Rii-chan needs help with the schedule and since IM THE CAPTAIN I have to help’ or ‘Rii-chan has no friends in our year, and since it seems that YOU don’t want to befriend her im doing the nice thing by becoming her friend’ and with that you always wanted to reply with ‘maybe no one wants to be her friend because she’s such a bitch’ but you held your tounge.

Today you were fed up with your boyfriends lack of being around and decided to go to his house in the hopes that you can watch a movie or do something together. When you get there, you knock on his door and you hear him shout “Come up it’s open,” was he expecting you or something?

You go upstairs to his bedroom, where you know he’ll be and to your surprise when you open the door in his room it is basically set up like a movie date with food and snacks and a bunch of dvd’s and blankets set up on the floor. ‘Was he planning on you to be here?’ you think.

“Rii-chan you made I-” says Oikawa, stopping hisself when he sees that it’s not his beloved Rii-chan but only you his girlfriend Y/N.

“What the fuck Oikawa?” you ask  

“It is NOT what it looks like Y/N” he says standing up abruptly to approach you but you step back.

“Umm.. So it’s not my boyfriend of 3 years about to have a movie date with his manager after barely speaking to me, his GIRLFRIEND, for the past month?” you say folding you arms “ Did I get that right or am I missing something here?”

“Yes.. I mean No” he stammers “ It’s not a date at all, it’s just that Rii-chan say’s she never watched *insert your favourite movie here* and I thought it would be nice if I show it too her”

“Whatever you say ‘kawa” you say rolling your eyes, this seem to annoy Oikawa as he then sits back down harshly and says,

“God Y/N, ever since you met Rii-chan you’ve been so hostile for once can you not be a bitch! Me and her are just friends.” His aggressive tone shocks both you and him but he doesn’t seem to stop “All I'm saying is, you always wonder why me and Iwa-chan were your friends, haven’t you thought it was because you’re such a judgemental bitch”  

By now you were fed up, so you turn your back to Oikawa ready to leave the room but first you say “ Oikawa, I love you I always have, but I can’t be with you anymore especially since you can’t even see what’s going on. Remember when we used to have movie dates when we were ‘just friends” Your response leaves Oikawa with his eyes wide open since he didn’t expect you to basically break up with him, he thought this was a minor argument. Before he can speak, the door burst open and in comes Ririka who exclaims “Tooru! Im ready to watch M-….oh”  

“I guess I’d be taking my leave now” you say with tears in your eyes “Goodbye Oikawa this was fun”  

It’s been a while since the confrontation at Oikawa’s house and the school was a buzz since after hearing the news of yours and Oikawas break up the school immediately focused their attention on both Ririka and Oikawa the rumours of them being together spread like wildfire. However, to your surprise Oikawa apparently always combated the rumours claiming that him and Ririka were just ‘good friends and will stay that way.’

But you could care less, you still supported the team going to all the games they had making sure to stay clear away Oikawa and Ririka. You don’t go to the practices anymore since you didn’t want to submerge yourself in sweat and bad vibes anymore.

Graduation came and you were very happy, you could finally get out of this place. Once you get through the ceremony and all the boring stuff you go to the gym for one final ‘goodbye’ but before you have a chance to leave you are stopped by Iwaizumi  

“Hey Y/N” he says “how have you been?”  

“I’ve been good, pretty ‘busy’” you respond

“Busy as in, avoiding Oikawa at every cost” he says making you laugh “Come sit down with me for a second” to which you do sitting next to him on the gym bench.

You and Iwaizumi then spend the next hour reminiscing about all your past antics and stories making you laugh and smile fondly at all the nostalgia. After all your talk you pull out your phone to take a picture and you hear Iwaizumi whisper “He never deserved you” so quietly that you almost don’t catch what he says.  

Before you could respond in comes Oikawa of course panting “Y/N! Thank god you’re still hear I need to talk to you!”  

You look at Iwaizumi expecting him to say something but all his does is pull you into a tight hug and says “Goodbye Y/N I’ll miss you” he gets up and exits the room shouting “Make sure to answer my calls” making you chuckle.

Oikawa approaches you and sits in the spot that Iwaizumi does, he takes a deep breath and begins to stay “Y/N, you were right I was wrong. I am an idiot... Rii- I mean Ririka she tried to kiss me. Im sorry”

“Oikawa, you are right.. You're an idiot, but it shouldn’t of had to take me breaking up with you and Ririka trying to get with you to realise that I was right. Why did you even come here to tell me this, so I knew I was right? You didn’t need to confirm my suspicions I knew all along Oikawa”

You stand up to leave, hoping to find Iwaizumi before he goes home but Oikawa stops you. “Y/N I-I want to be with you, to go back to being how we were … don’t you want that”

“Oikawa...” you grab his hands “I love you, I always have and I always will... but I think we both know we aren’t meant to be.. Things haven’t been the best with us even before Ririka came along, it just took her to make us really notice it.”

“It’s him isnt it?” he says with tears in his eyes

“I think so... maybe it’s always been him I don’t know but we know how he is especially when we were 15 I guess you just got me to me first,” you say with tears in your eyes also

Oikawa pulls you into a hug and whispers in your ear “Go get him Y/N” you look at him and smile and nod you head “We will still be friends Tooru.”

You race out of the gym to look for Iwaizumi and you suddenly bump into him since he didn’t actually move he was there the whole time and it seems your indirect confession made him tear up too. “I love you Y/N” he pulls you into a hug which you return then pulls you into a deep kiss.

In the end, you and Iwaizumi do become boyfriend and gifriend still keeping Tooru as your good friend. You all also end up going to the same University and you and Iwaizumi live the rests of your lifes together as the ‘perfect’ couple with yours and Toorus relationship as a laughable memory.

AUTHORS NOTE: Please don’t hate me for this ending!! I had a bad day sooo I decided to switch things up please give me feedback on what you think !!

[sugarfluffandallthatgoodstuff]

May the music carry the spirit

Oikawa x marching band!reader

Key because of a new POV replacer on Wattpad:

Y/N=your name (mainly first)

L/N=last name

f/c= favorite color

f/s/a= favorite stuffed animal

f/f=favorite flower

You are a 2nd year and Oikawa is a 3rd year and you play flute in this (yes I’ve played flute myself for 11 years now so… prepare for band nerd jargon) (also Oikawa's dialogue is written in blue, the announcer is in orange, and the section leader is in pink

anyway let's get started

YOUR POV

I sadly got to start my day with my alarm blaring at full volume with my sheet music now doused in my 40 ounces of bang energy drink so I could practice all night (but that didn’t turn out well obviously). 

Jee i wonder how this day could possibly get worse

Oh yeah

We perform our indoor show today at one of our school’s volleyball games

And we don’t even get to sit with the other Seijoh students until after the show (which is AFTER the first set regardless of who takes it) and then play pep tunes the other 2 sets where I of course was given a solo and am on the mic everytime we play one certain song

But to add more insult to this mortal injury

Both teams would be watching us from the stands during our show to give more attention to marching bands indoors and because of an outrageously important audition for us

TIME SKIP TO JUST BEFORE THE GAME 

We had just gotten off the bus when Iwazumi came running up to me to ask if I knew where the director is (yes he knows me because we were almost on the same page academically.)

“Hey L/N do you know where the band director is?”

“Sadly I am not sure since he wasn’t on our bus, however I think he’s on bus…1 I think?”

“Oh uh thank you. And um… good luck? Is that what we’re supposed to say?”

“I mean you’re kinda close. We say ‘have a good show’. Have a good game Iwa-kun.”

“Have a good show L/N”

We walked into the entrance of the gym with our instruments while the percussion went and got the props and technology and the team went to the locker room but, on the way to our designated warm up areas

*oof* 

”OMG OMG OMG I’M SO SO SO SORRY! LET ME HELP YOU I-”

“Oh hi Y/N-chan you’re all good! Are you ok?” and he said this while i was looking for my horn

“OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOO MY HORN!”

“I’m so confused what are you talking about”

“I HAVE TO DO 1,000 PUSHUPS NOW! NOOOOOOOO”

“L/N it’s only 50 for you ms.soloist”

“NO! IT’S 1,000 FOR ME BECAUSE I HAVE TO LEARN!”

*sigh* “besides you have the most banged up flute anyway”

“Y/N-chan! You have to be nice to yourself! Iwa-chan has told you too!”

“Ok so here’s how it is Oikawa-san, I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO SURVIVES DEATH BLOCK NOW I can hold mine up perfectly for 30 minutes straight!”

“I better not catch you doing more than 10 push ups!”

“Whatever you can’t stop me meanie-kawa not even my section leader knows it’s good for me”

“ I’d be careful if I were you Y/N-chan~”

I walked away to the end and did 20 burpees right in front of Oikawa just out of spite and screamed back:

“I STILL HAVE THE 1,000 TO DO OIKAWA-SAN”

And of course he yells back at me:

“Y/N-CHAN NOOOO 😭”

“YOU BETTER PLAY WELL TODAY DUMMY-KAWA”

“WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO MEAN TO ME LIKE IWA-CHAN!?”

I ran off to the warm up area while giving Oikawa a peace sign

OIKAWA’S POV

I watched as Y/N-chan jogged away while holding up a peace sign and without her knowing I was blushing uncontrollably 

I can’t be thinking like this before an important game! We’re really good but that doesn’t mean we can let our guard down while playing Date Tech

I’ll win for her 

I’ll win for Y/N and cheer her on during her show

I went with the team to the locker room we shared with the band because they only put their band uniforms over their squad shirts and compression shorts 

And what did I see?

Y/N DOING PUSH UPS

YOUR POV

“178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 185…” 

“Y/N-chan! Don’t push too hard, you'll hurt yourself!”

“196, 197, 198, 199, 200, DAMN IT OIKAWA I LOST COUNT NOW I HAVE TO START OVER >:( “

“Y/N-chan no just no. No more push-ups for you.”

I got up and looked him in the eye (which I never do) { hehehe author-chan never does this lol}

“If I push hard then I get better I thought you would know that too”

“Ok but I don’t punish myself harshly for something small”

“Look I understand this is important but I need to get in the head space to perform and I don’t want to burden you by clouding your mind and judgment with this because I know I don’t matter as much as your game. And I don't want you to think I’m doing this to be hurtful to you. I know how important performing in your sport is and how important it is to you. I don’t want to get in the way of that.”

“Your health is important too, you know. Iwa-chan taught me that and it made me a better player. I think it would make you a better musician if you took care of yourself too”

“I’ll see you later Oikawa-san I have to go warm up now. Have a good game!”

I clapped my hand on his shoulder and smiled a closed mouth smile at him and shook his hand

“I’ll teach you the woodwind handshake if you want me too later :) “

“Sounds great Y/N-chan!”

I walked and got my flute and started warming up on scales while walking away and then flexed by playing the solo from Carmen’s Entra’cte by Bizet and then Bach’s sonata in E major while backwards marching and giving him a wink

OIKAWA’S POV

I just watched in absolute awe as she walked away playing like a pro musician.

“Oi Shitty-Kawa we’re going to warm up soon”

“Y-yeah I’ll be there in a hot sec”

Then he hit me upside the head 

“SNAP OUT OF IT WE HAVE A GAME SHITTY-KAWA”

“I-Iwa”

“WHAT”

“ I-I think I’m in love”

“Oh dear god.”

“Then play well for her if you want to show her!”

“I will then!”

TIMESKIP TO THE START OF THE GAME AND POV CHANGE BACK TO YOURS

As the boys were lining up and getting ready to play we started playing “The Greatest show” to hype up the crowd more (if that’s even possible lol)

And as we neared the end of the diminuendo and the song the captains shook hands and we went off the court out to prepare for the show after the first set

We may have not gotten to see them play but we were ready to show everyone what we were made of

We stepped out onto the court and were introduced

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IN CLASS 4A PERFORMANCE THE AOBA JOHSAI MARCHING BAND. THEIR PROGRAM IS ENTITLED ‘MAY THE SPIRIT CARRY ON’ WITH DRUM MAJORS DM/1, DM/2, DM/3, AND DM/4 WITH SOLOIST L/N Y/N”

{a/n the flute solo is Bach’s orchestral suite No.2 in B minor, BWV}

TIMESKIP TO THE END OF THE SHOW CAUSE I’M LAZY AS ALL FUCK

“BE SURE TO STAY AFTER THE GAME TO SEE IF THEY MAKE IT TO THE INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS”

As we were leaving and the boys were coming back to play OIkawa-san and I made eye contact for a mere millisecond and we both blushed and looked away and continued on our own path and then he stopped in his tracks turned around and said “Y/N-chan you were great! Can’t wait to see you up there!” “th-thank y-you Oikawa-san”

TIMESKIP TO THE END AFTER THE GAME FINISHES AND THEY WIN

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN NOW FOR THE REVEAL OF THE SCORE! WITH AN OVERALL SCORE OF 92.945 THAT'S 9-2-.-9-4-5 CONGRATULATIONS ON ADVANCING TO THE INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS! AND FOR THE SOLO SCORE… WITH A SCORE OF 89.967 L/N Y/N CONGRATULATIONS!”

My heart sunk 

I was supposed to break 90

I didn’t

My solo score brought us down

I wanted to cry

I retained my composure as I went up to get my medal

Afterwards the team was able to come down to congratulate all of us and who came up to me?

Iwa and Oikawa

“Good job L/N-chan-”

“I scored too fucking low”

“Huh?”

“I was supposed to break 90 and we could have made a better set of qualifiers”

“That doesn’t change that you were really good”

Then Oikawa chimed in

“Y/N-chan you did so well and this is only the beginning right?”

“True but I-”

“Y/N there’s no reason for you to be angry. You’ll beat them but you at least know where you stand right?” it was weird not hearing Oikawa using an honorific but I knew he was serious

“T-true?”

“So don’t let this benchmark stop you. Keep going!”

“I guess?”

“You wanna know something else Y/N-chan?”

“S-sure?”

“I’m in love”

Holy crap

Did he finally fall for one of his fangirls? Who was lucky enough to be the one he had his eyes on?

“Who’s the lucky girl? Is it one of your fangirls?”

“No. no. no they don’t come close to this girl”

“I have no idea then Oikawa-san I need a hint”

“We should go out into the hall the next group’s coming in”

So we went out

“She’s smart, beautiful, kind, and her talent is incredible”

“Uhh….. I got nothin I actually know no person like that”

“Really? That’s quite tragic that you don’t see those things in yourself”

“Hold on WHAT?!?”

“That’s right. You’re the one I fell for Y/N…I love you it’s ok if you don’t feel the same I”

“I love you too Tooru” I went in and gave him a hug

“I’m still not gonna let you do your push-ups because I love you too much and I don't want your arms to fall off”

I looked up at him and slooooowwwly got out of his embrace took a step back and continued from 200 push ups from where I left off

“201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207…”

And so he of course got down to my level and laid down so his head was under mine and he kissed me when I went down for another push up

“Oikawa no I’m trying to do my push ups!”

“Well I think you should get a kiss for every push-up then”

“It’s supposed to be a punishment not a reward!”

“I don’t think my precious girl should be punishing herself period”

So I tried to move away but he just got up and moved to my location and squatted only to wrap his arms around my torso and just started tickling the shit out of my tummy and ribs

“NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP”

“You wanted to punish yourself right? So here it is! Best part is you’re smiling and laughing which makes me happy”

“YOUOHOUHOUHOUHOUHOU AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASS”

“That’s not very nice Y/N-chan! Now I’ll have to tickle you more!”

He moves his hands up to my armpits and somehow thinking ahead he flipped me over and sat all in one motion while keeping my wrists pinned under his legs and just going wild fluttering his fingers all over my torso and armpits with seemingly no intention to stop

“Wow, Y/N-chan you’re so cute and ticklish!”

“NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOHO STAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP PLEAHEHEHEEHHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHESE”

“Ok ok ok I’ll stop now”

 He gets up off me and pulls me in for another kiss and a hug 

“I’m paying for dinner tonight by the way”

“No I’m gonna pay. I don’t care if you think you should. You won your game so it’s my treat”

“B-but I-I-I-”

“No buts I’m paying”

“Meanie I should be paying for you for performing so well :( “

“You can pick the place though”

“Fine”

“Do you want lessons for music because you seemed quite interested and dumbstruck during the woodwind feature”

“Sounds good to me! And I’ll give you volleyball lessons in return!”

“GET A ROOM YOU TWO EW!”

And with that we were off to dinner 

But not before he got me a f/c f/s/a and a bouquet of f/f

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I might make a part 2 I haven't decided

[taro-im]

Hi Lovely! Congratulations on 100+ followers!!! YOU DESERVE ALL OF THEM PLUS A BAJILLION MORE <3 YOUR WRITING IS *chef's kiss! This is my first time requesting, so feel free to ignore if it's not done properly or if you just dont wanna do it! I love your "when the haikyuu boys confess to you as a prank/joke then tell you" angst to fluff, so if you could do more of those with Kuroo, Iwaizumi, or whoever else you fancy! I will read all of your work no matter what!

tysm, it means a lot to me😳💕💕💕💕 I’m honored that you think my writing is good😳

ofc I’ll do both!!!!!! :) Kuroo’s part will come out soon!

when the haikyuu boys confess to you as a prank/joke then tell you…

Iwaizumi:

you liked everything about him, his laugh, his dark hazel eyes, his persona, your feelings for him evolved in third year and Oikawa noticed both of his best friends acted strange so he tried to pull something

“Iwa chan” the brunette said “what is it trashykawa?” Iwaizumi said “ouch that’s mean Iwa, anyways how are you and y/n chan?” Oikawa said with a smuggish smile “what do you mean y/n and me?” He said cheeks stained pink “I mean when are you going to ask her out?” He said sighing “what do you mean I don’t like her like that” Iwa said annoyed “Iwa I dare you to ask out y/n” the annoying brunette said “why would I do that?” The confused boy said “If you don’t do it I’ll send those messages you said about y/n” Oikawa said teasing him “alright fine I’ll do it Shittykawa” Iwaizumi said getting out of the classroom heart pounding, Oikawa shocked that he would go that far to keep what he said about you a secret

Iwaizumi was now the first time overwhelmed…. One time in the middle of the night Oikawa and him made a group chat and forgot that you were in it and Iwaizumi started venting to Oikawa about reasons why he likes you… yeah in this situation the both of them were idiots, before you could see the text messages they kicked you out of the group chat, you were angry for a week but they made up to you and Oikawa swore to secrecy but guess what the secret might be revealed today

Today was the day before spring break after school , Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and you were at a cafe buying pastries, “Kawa your buying way too much milk bread ” you said teasingly “there’s no such thing as not enough milk bread y/n” he said raising a brow, both laughing while you were trying to find your favorite pastry “here y/n I got you the last one” Iwaizumi said avoiding eye contact “thanks haji” you said face reddening, the three of you sat at one of the tables about to order your drinks,

“Iwa nows your time” Oikawa whispered leaving the table to buy the drinks “dammit” he muttered looking at you scrolling thru your phone “hey y/n” he said clearing his throat “um yeah?” You said a little unaware “I need to tell you something” he said not looking you in the eyes “yeah sure” you said hiding your nervousness “I like you y/n” the shy brunette said slightly loud looking you in the eyes face red “y-you do?” you said blushing “you really do? I like yo-“you said gettin cut off by Iwaizumi, he knew he couldn’t do this to you, and one day he will truthfully confess to you, just not now… “sorry y/n I can’t do this” he said avoiding your gaze “what do you mean Haji?” You said heart throbbing slightly in pain knowing somethings up “I-it was a dare from Oikawa I’m sorry for doing that to you” he said trying to touch your shoulder but you jerked away from his hold, you pretended there was a message on your phone and said “ah sorry Hajime san, my dad just texted me he told me to come home now, something important” you said trying to hide your teary voice “wa-“ he couldn’t even finish his sentence and you already left with your things “I’m backkk with the drinkkssss” Oikawa said in a cheery voice only to see that you left and Iwaizumi’s face full of guilt “now what happened?” Both boys looking at each other

Finally you got two weeks for you to avoid Iwaizumi and Oikawa from hanging out with you, tears ran down your puffy eyes thinking about how of course he wasn’t going to like you like how you like him, While Iwaizumi was trying to contact you but you wouldn’t reply or answer poor dence boy was anxious and wasn’t able to sleep, Oikawa didn’t know Iwaizumi was that bad with girls so he decided to fix it himself by coming to your house

it was the second week of you ghosting both of your friends, today Oikawa dragged broken-hearted Iwaizumi with him to your house but the catch is for Iwaizumi to wait outside while Oikawa will settle things because Iwaizumi might mess it up

“Hey y/n channn” your unexpected guess Oikawa came into your room “what are you doing here” you said avoiding eye contact “why haven’t you answered my texts?” He said pretending not to know why “I just didn’t feel like it” you sighed “look if it’s about Iwa chan he didn’t mean what he said” Oikawa said in a positive tone “you don’t have to rub it in I know he doesn’t like me” you said heart hurting more not understanding what he meant “nonono I’m talking about the dare, he does like you!” He said worried “that’s not funny I know it was a dare from you” you said in the verge of tears glaring at him “no y/n… I thought if I gave him a little push he would of actually confess to you but that didn’t happen” he said trying to not cause anything else bad to happen “look… remember that day we kicked you out of the group chat?” Well here these were the messages”

You took his phone and read the messages from that day, it was just Iwaizumi talking about how much he liked you, there were so many messages…. So he does like you? “so y/n do you believe me now?” He said raising a brow “shut up that still doesn’t mean I forgive him or you” you said face red “he’s been waiting outside if you want to talk to him” Oikawa said getting back his phone

You went outside of your house and saw Iwaizumi standing out there pacing back and forth not even noticing you “hey Iwa” you said trying to act normal “oh hey y/n!” He said startled “so um why are you here?” You said avoiding his gaze “I just want to say sorry again…” he said “you know I expected Tooru doing that but not you doing that”,,,, “I know… but I really do like you, y/n I’ve really liked you for a long time I just didn’t have the guts to tell you ” he said looking into your e/c eyes “I accept that apology and I like you too Haji” you said with a smile “you really do?” Iwaizumi sighing with relief “yeah of course I do” you said both of your faces red while Oikawa was looking thru your bedroom window enjoying the show, Iwaizumi and you went back to your house now officially dating

“Hey Haji, Oikawa showed me those messages” you said with a devilish smile “he did? Shittykawa I’m going to beat your ass!” The man said angry try to catch Oikawa, while Oikawa was running for dear life

[hunted-moth]

Uhhh i kinda wrote something

I had this image of a mean-looking girl being rude to kyotani or something, I didn't finish it, but I was reading it and liked and thought "why not post it lol" its in a form of ahed cannons cus idk how to write

I’ve never written anything before but my mind has this idea of a reader who looks intimidating like RBF, stand-offish, dyed n short hair, and does a full-contact sport like roller derby...so yeah, hope you enjoy

Featuring: Kyōtani

(p.s. It’s easier for me to write in the 3rd person...sorry about that

Kyōtani

- he first saw her rolling down the sidewalk to school blasting her music

- he saw that she was wearing the Aoba Josai uniform, she had dyed hair so he wonder why he never saw her at school

- later at lunch he saw her eating with a bunch of other mean and scaring looking girls 

- he stared at her for a while till she looked up and pulled out her earbud saying

“Ya need something dude or do you have a starting problem?”

- she then got slapped in the head for that

-he looked down after that, a moment later he heard some yelling then a few moments later he looked up to see two girls from the table

- the short on pushed the girl towards him saying

“Now say you’re sorry y/n” “sigh* sorry dude”

- she then looked back at her friend asking that was alright

- the shorter one just shook her then said to kyotani

“ Sorry man, she’s ain’t the niece’s cookie in the box. How could she make it up to you?

-the girl now known as y/n, eyes went wide with shock and turned towards her saying

“WHAT!!!?? You never side anything about that” “yeah that was before you said ‘sorry dude’ what kind of apology is that?

-But befor the two second years could say anything the lunch bell rang telling everyone lunch was over

-The three of  them went to their classes, he noticed that y/n went to class five the class Yahaba went to

-later after class kyotani decided to go to practice just to talk to yahaba about y/n

“Hey yahaba...do you know anyone named y/n?”

-everyone turned towards kyotani because 1) he talking to someone without grunting and 2) he was asking about a girl

-yahaba looked like he could pass out because he was asking about l/n y/n, the scary-looking girl in class five

“U-uh yeah, I know l/n-san, she sits two seats behind me. Why do you ask”

“No reason” “oooooh...Mad dog-chan has a crush on one of the delinquent girl makes sense really” “shut up loser-kawa, maybe he just heard her name around school or something now get back to practice”

-later during practice someone was knocking at the door, well more like a gang of delinquents with how hard they were banging

“Kindaichi, your closes to the door could you get it?” “uh yes iwazumi-senpaii”

“Hey could you stop baAHHH *slam* its those girls you were talking about earlier” “what, let them in idiot” “oh right”

-kindachi then open the door to be met with four girls sitting with y/n at lunch

“That was rude of you, you know to slam the door in our faces” “oh u-uh sorry I was just surprised Osaki-senpai” 

-kindaichi let them all, they all went in except y/n who appeared to listing to music and paying attention

“y/n y/n...Y/N ugh” 

-Osaki-san took her shoe off then threw it y/n’s sholder

“OW...what hell that’s where my bruise is” “oh crap sorry y/n was trying to aim for your head haha”

Y/n >:| 

Osaki-san :P

“You suck”

-Finally, all of them were in the gym with y/n standing next to Osaki-san

“Sooo~ what brings you, fine ladies, here?” “oh we came to make our little y/n here to apologies tooooo”.... “that one”

-Everyone turned towards kyotani with confused faces

“What would she have to apologize about?” “ Yeah, all I said was quote ‘Ya need something dude or do you have a starting problem’ don’t see why i have to apologize for that?” “yeah it was still rude but we’re not talking about that right now, soooo what’s his name?” “oh his name is kyotani” “so kyotani what do ya need” 

-kyotani looked at the group of girls then the team

“Idk...maybe studying” “oh what a wonderful coincidence she just happens to be the team un-official tutor she’ll help you with that then” “but I don’t want to” “doesn’t matter you’re helping him” “team?...what sport do you guys play” “hmm, oh we do roller derby” “roller derby? What’s that?” “nothing just the coolest sport out there...here y/n show the bruise you got yesterday” “*sigh fine”

-y/n started to unbutton her shirt, all the guys told her to stop but then it showed she was wearing an undershirt

“See when you play these sports you get badass brises like this, y/n rammed into a wall and fell flat on her ass but she got up like it was nothing” “here’s a video of our last bout” 

-half of them looked shocked others thought it was cool and badass

-one of those was kyotani

“So kyotani wanna do the tutoring now or letter?” “I suggest doing it at her house if you catch my drift,” said the 3rd year Osaki-san “yeah plus her dad freaking hot,” the 1st year named Sakai said as if it were a known fact”

-it was y/n’s turn to throw her shoe at an underclassman, but Bando the big frist pushed Sakai out of the way in time

“What have I told you about calling my dad hot Sakai” “what it’s not my fault God has favorites...oh shit”

-y/n kicked off her other shoe and started to chase Sakai around the gym, and eventually tackled her to the ground, resulting in bando having to separate them

-the volleyball team looked at the five releasing that they were just a bunch of girls that liked to play ruff, not scary at all

“Hmm...oh it’s my dad I got to go, here kyotani-san my number”  “hmm...thanks”

-later after practice was over kyotani plopt on his bed and reached in his pocket to grab his phone and the number y/n have him

-he then sent a text her way just so she could have his number on her phone

-over at the l/n household y/n was having dinner with dad

“So n/n anything fun happens at school today?” “hmm...umm well I caught a boy looking at me today at lunch” “oh do you know why?” “idk” “well maybe he likes you” “PAPAAAA...stop that’s embarrassing” “whaaat? Im just saying I know how boys are, anyways anything else happens?”  “yeah, i was dragged to the volleyball practice because I was rude to the boy...apparently” “oh” “yeah now im gonna tutor him along with Bando-chan and Sakai-chan” “well that’s nice of you n/n” “yeah i guess”

-The next morning y/n was rolling down the sidewalk once more, when she notice kyotani

-she slowed down next to him and started to walk with him

“Hey” hey”

-the walk to school was quite, if you did’nt count the blaring music coming from y/n’s headphones

-when the two got to school y/n notice her friend Ramirez

“Hey Ramirez” “hmmm...oh hey l/n...why are you with kyotani-kun?” “oh I found him on my here, so just started walking with him” “hmp…”

-kyotani just stood there awkwardly listing on their on conversation till the bell rang

-the tree all went towards the second year hall with kyotani and Ramirez splitting off to class one

-y/n quickly found her class and sat down in her seat when a familiar cream-puff  came into view

“H-hey umm...l/n-san you know you don't have to tutor Kyotani-san, right” “...” “Ummm...l/n-san? can you hear me” “yeah…was just thinking as to why you want your teammate to not get better at school?” “wh-what no that's not what I meant at… it's just you know, he's stubborn hell he doesn’t even come to practices very often, and when he does he picks fights with everyone”

-silence was met between the two seconded years

“Please leave” “yes ma’am”

Meanwhile

“Hey, Osaki-san” “hmm...OH, HEY MAKKI” “I was talking with Oikawa and we thought it'd be cool if our teams eat together for lunch...you cool with that?” “HELL YEAH, we would love to eat with you guys, let's just text my team, where do you guys eat?” “oh usually we eat on roof… but were gonna hunt down mad dog and force him to eat we us” “ooo...your gonna wanna use Bando-chan, she can find anyone, Ramirez tried to skip school and bando found them in an abandoned building”

-Makki, Osaki, matter, iwa, and Oikawa went to round up the first & second years

-the first & seconds years of the derby & volleyball team were easy to convince...but Y/n, Rameriz, and Kyotani were a whole hunt

-turns out they were having lunch on the rooftop the whole time…

“What are you idiots doing?” “yeah...we saw you running around the grounds like headless chickens” “what- Rameriezzzz why didn't you tell us you guys were on the roof!?” “Ummm…” “we wanted some peace and quite with our new friend Sakai-chan”

yeah thats all i wrote. if you like it i can continue it, i also have a tanaka version

[wowtobio]

Hi I was wondering if I could request kuroo, suga, Bokuto, and oikawa ( sorry if that’s to much I don’t know you character limit ) finding their s/o outside the gym asleep waiting for them to finish practice

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Kuroo, Suga, Bokuto, and Oikawa find their s/o asleep outside the gym˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

this is so so cute i could not resist 🥺 

genre: fluff

Kuroo

Kuroo probably informed you beforehand that practice was gonna run a little late due to nationals coming up, so he told you to go home without him. Though he could not resist your cute pout, he had to bid you farewell. 

So, it totally caught him off guard to see your sleeping form outside the gym doors, the sunrise casting a beautiful, glowing shade over your body that gave you an ethereal look. 

His initial reaction was to sigh, mumbling to himself of how pointless and dangerous it was to fall asleep, vulnerable to the world, let alone wait for him for who knows how long. 

However, deeeeeep down he was practically screeching to the brim at how cute you looked. This dude’s a huge dork you cannot tell me otherwise, he would lowkey squeal and fangirl over you man. 

Still, he would attempt to shake your shoulder slightly since Kenma took a beeline towards the station occupied by his games. 

Nope, did not wake you up. No biggie. Next thing you know you are hoisted up into Kuroo’s strong arms, carrying you bridal style. 

He has no shame carrying his princess around, as you snuggle up even closer to his warmth, Kuroo can’t help but have his signature sly smirk. Oooooh you will not hear the end of this once you wake up.

Sugawara

Is SUPER. DUPER. SWEEET ABOUT IT AAAAAA

When he finds you outside the gym, drool drippin down yah face, he had to well first off fend off loudmouths a.k.a Nishinoya and Tanaka and theeeeen he will admire your sleeping form. 

Crouches down to your level and kind of just stares at your serene sleeping face in a not so creepy way and his face turns slightly red. 

Of course he will wrap his black, volleyball jacket around you. Won’t even attempt to wake you up too. 

He’ll carefully and soundlessly perch you on his back, giving you a piggyback ride. And did I mention he’s super sweet about it? He will quietly shush any of his teammates who exit the gym super rowdy (cough hinata cough noya COUGHHH TANA-) 

Haha just imagine Suga carrying you on his back and his finger over his lips a gentle “ssh!” coming out awwh you luckyyy

Does not mind carrying you home, you need the rest! Of course he will let you rest up. Though, he does miss your after school bantering, having a nice conversation and just hearing your voice. 

He will gush when you make any slight movement or noise and snuggle even closer into his neck. 

“Haha, hope you’re having a nice nap there love”

Bokuto

He will be verrry frantic and most likely yell. A lot. Because it is Bokuto duh.

“AAAAH SHES?? SLEEPING? BUT SHE LOOKS SO CUTE?? AKAASHI LOOK WHAT DO I DOO?” 

“Bokuto-san, please shut up first.” 

Eventually he does quiet down, and he will just silently scream at your cute face. I’m surprised you’re not awake at this point. 

“SHE’S SO CUTE, GUYS LOOK AT MY CUTE GIRLFRIEND!” 

But when you stir slightly, Bokuto panics and for whatever reason throws himself onto you. He wraps his arms around you and you sigh with content, snuggling into his chest. 

He phews, and it takes every fiber in his being to not sit there and fall asleep right next to you. 

And by every fiber, I mean Akaashi reminding the third year that it is time to go home. So, unlike the two above he would shake you like there is no tomorrow, waking you up. 

Let’s just say you were ignoring Bokuto the whole way home, with his dramatic wailing of course. No fret, the next time you two were alone you were long over it. But that doesn’t stop his cuddles and kisses of course :)

Oikawa

He lowkey would not notice you sleeping. Would probably look around and rest his hand underneath his pretty face and just ponder aloud “hmm where could (y/n)-chan be..?” 

His questions are soon answered when Iwaizumi tosses a water bottle at Oikawa’s head

“She’s right at your feet crappy-kawa” 

“AH! (Y/N)-CHAN!” 

And there you were, in all your glory. Oikawa would immediately go by your side, and just gush of course. 

Definitely would take out his phone and snap a few pics that he may or may not make his home-screen later on hehe. 

I can see him like poking your cheek gently a few times and whispering his attempts to wake you up. If you don’t wake up he will either: 

a) Smile softly and be willing to carry you home, a super sweet moment between you and the pretty setter.

b) A tick mark will appear on his forehead and he will violently poke your cheek scolding you to wake up because it is time to go home! 

If (a) happens, then it’s all sunshines and rainbows. By the time he gets you to your place he earns himself a big bear hug and a super sweet kiss from a half asleep you. 

But if (b) happens, oh boy all hell would break loose. You along with Iwaizumi would spat out meaningless insults at him while chasing him around the outside part of the gym, the team snickers in the background. 

Eventually he is caught by Iwaizumi and uhh pray for him ;;;;;

It’s all good though, after you chill off you kiss each booboo Oikawa gets as he grumbles to himself.

-

a/n: school’s out for me! hope everyone’s healthy and happy. I’ve been thinking about it a lot as much as i love my followers I would love love to dm some and just yk talk hehe :) so don’t be afraid to hmu abt ANYTHING haha I watch hella anime and have other interests. I am not one to initiate tho so sorry ;;; anyways have a good one guys ily!

masterlist

[loousir]

Soulmates {Oikawa Tooru}

Oikawa Tooru x Male Reader Part One

Anime: Haikyuu!!

Warnings: I dont think there is any?

Masterlist | Part Two

AU: Soulmates can have a different way of finding their partner. Yours is after both partners are at least 18, on the youngers birthday, they will swap bodies. They have to share their first of something together in order to return to their respective body. (Ex. Sharing their first kiss, first drink etc.)(If one has already kissed or shared a drink, for example, it wont count as sharing a first) Oikawa's is knowing what their first words to you are.

Originally Posted on February 2, 2021

----------------------------------------------------------

Today was finally your birthday. That meant that you would get to find out who your soulmate was. You were nervous but knew about it so you were prepared. A little.

You were getting dressed to go to school today and thankfully it was the end of the week so you'd have all weekend to find your soulmate. What nice and convenient timing. You did your morning routine before getting changed into your uniform. After pulling up you striped brown pants and adjusting your white jacket, you slipped the red tie around your neck before grabbing your things and heading downstairs.

You said a quick goodbye to your mom after stealing a toaster waffle and your lunch. You slipped on your shoes and headed out to school.

On the way there, you ran into Iwaizumi and Oikawa. You were very good acquaintances but not close enough to consider friends, like hanging at each others houses kind of friends. You and Iwaizumi shared class together but the three of you almost always walked to school together.

"Happy birthday (Y/n)-kun! You're finally 18 right?" Oikawa asked, slinging his arm around your shoulder and leaning on your slightly smaller frame. He poked your cheek gently as you ate, trying to get a reply out of you. "Shittykawa, cant you see he's eating something? Let him chew first." Oikawa pouted slightly at his "nickname" and sighed.

You finished chewing and nodded. "Yeah, I'm 18 today. I'll find out who my soulmate is tomorrow and I really hope it isn't you." You said in a serious tone as the three of you continued walking to Aoba Johsai. Oikawa whined on the way there with Iwaizumi butting in to shut him up.

The trio finally made it to school and went their separate ways, aka you and Iwaizumi in one and Oikawa right next door.

---

The day started and went on normally til lunch.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa usually go to their practice but today they invited you to eat with them. You accepted not exactly knowing why.

"So (Y/n)-kun~ Who do you think is your soulmate?" You shrugged as you ate your bento, glancing up at Oikawa. "You really wanna know?" You asked taking another bite. Oikawa nodded as he ate his own bento. Iwaizumi smirked over to you as he ate his lunch as well. "You should tell him (L/n)-san."

"I hope it turns out to be Kageyama."

Oikawa practically snorted out his drink and stared at you in shock. "You cant be serious?! Him?!" You laughed at the water running down his face and shook your head. You grabbed a napkin you had and wiped the pretty setters face. "Of course not."

Oikawa let out a sigh of relief. "I'd want Daichi to be my soulmate." You said in a dreamy tone as Oikawa choked on his rice. Iwaizumi had nothing today besides laughing at the scene in front of him. Oikawa leaned on his good knee over to you and gripped your shoulders. He shook you gently as he cried, saying something about 'anyone but the wingless crows.'

Iwaizumi pulled him off you after a minute and scolded him. You finished up your bento and checked your phone. There was 40 minutes of lunch left when you looked to the best friends. "So, what did you guys invite me to hang for?" Iwaizumi looked over to you and tilted his head slightly. "Are we not allowed to invite a friend to hang out?"

You leaned back on your hands and closed your eyes, letting your head fall backwards. "You are, it's just, weird. The Cap and vice Cap of the volleyball team invite a lowly art club member to hang out at lunch together. Sounds a bit odd doesnt it?"

Iwaizumi nodded and Oikawa didnt respond. You lifted your head up to see Oikawa a bit of a distance away, surrounded by a flock of girls. "Its your turn to pull him away. I'm gonna go check something." You sighed and stood up.

"Hey, shittykawa." Oikawa instantly turned around at the nickname and his fan girls became upset with you calling him that. "(Y/n)-kun~ You're taking after Iwaizumiii~" He said walking over to you. "And we were supposed to be hanging out." You said acting all coy. "You promised me we would this morning..." You whispered just loud enough for everyone to hear.

The girls were jealous and talking amongst themselves as Oikawa just looking at you, shocked. He had a deep blush covering his cheeks as you folded your hands together in front of you and looked to the ground with a pout. "(Y/n)-kun..." You looked up to him with puppy dog eyes. He suddenly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight hug.

"(Y/N)-KUN! IM SO SORRY!" He said as if he actually forgot he promised you to hang out. You smiled and giggled, gently prying him off of you. You grabbed his hand and started to walk with him. "C'mon. Let's go back to our spot." You said as you watched the lady flock disperse. Oikawa followed along, apologizing for forgetting a promise he never made.

Once the two of you were alone you sighed and let go of his hand. "Oikawa." He shut up and looked up to you with teary eyes. "You didnt promise me we'd hang out. Its ok." You may be mean to Oikawa but theres something about him that you love. You just cant be mean to him all the time... Ok yes you can but sometimes you want to be nice to him.

Oikawa smiled and pulled you into a hug again. You cautiously hugged back and patted his back. The bell signaling lunch was over rang and the two of you pulled away. "I'll stop by the gym after school to say a quick goodbye." You said grabbing yours and Iwaizumis stuff. Oikawa nodded and grabbed his stuff as well. He had a big smile on his face for some reason but you just brushed it off.

The rest of the day passed by pretty quickly. You had told Iwaizumi about stopping for a quick bye and he said, "Just be prepared for Oikawa." You didnt exactly know what the meant because you always were but before you could ask he had left for practice.

Once you were ready, you head down to the gym and pulled open the door. The lights were off and you furrowed your brows. "I thought there was practice today..." You mumbled to yourself.

Suddenly the lights turned on to show they gym and the volleyball team to be all dressed in nice birthday attire. You only stared shocked at the scene in front of you as the all shouted, "Surprise!" Oikawa appeared in front of your vision with a wide grin on his face and a small gift in his hand.

You blinked a few times and looked up to his eyes before looking to Iwaizumi who was approaching the two of you. "Y-you guys... Did this for me?" You asked, still surprised by what happened. Iwaizumi shrugged and tilted his head to the side saying 'kinda.' "It was Oikawa's idea."

Oikawa smiled and grabbed one of your hands, putting the gift in it. Iwaizumi put a party hat on your head before walking over to a table full of sweets and a cake. "Can I talk to you outside for a second?" You asked Oikawa. He smiled and lead the two of you outside the gym and away from prying ears.

"What did you wanna talk to me about?" You held the gift in your hand and pulled him into a tight hug. He stood tense for a moment before hugging back. "What's this for?" Oikawa asked with a small laugh. You buried your head in his chest and started to tremble slightly. He demeanor changed when he felt his shirt get slightly wet. "H-hey, (Y/n)? Are you ok?"

You nodded and kept hugging him. He hugged back and gently stroked the back of your head. "No ones ever done something like this before. So it's kinda a lot." You said clearly, having calmed down from your previous state. Oikawa laughed and pulled the two of you away to look you in the eyes.

"Really? Well then I'll have to step it up next time!" You smiled up to him softly before sadly looking down to your shoes. "I'm nervous Kawa..." His smile fades away to a sigh. "Me too." You look up to him in confusion. "I... Really hope tomorrow, I'll wake up in your body, Tooru..." He looks to your eyes and he has tears in this.

Dont ruin this moment shittykawa

"Me too."

You look up to him and smile a little. "C'mon, let's go back inside and par-tay a little before it's too late!" Oikawa said with a smile as he dragged you back inside. You saw Iwaizumi standing by a punch bowl with a knowing smirk but you didnt think much of it.

---

Everyone had hung around and "par-tay"-ed till about 7pm. They decided to call it there and start cleaning up. You tried to help but both Oikawa and Iwaizumi stopped you. "Why dont you and Oikawa head back first? The least we can do is clean up."

"But you guys did all this for me, I have to try to help even a little." Iwaizumi put your things over your shoulder and pushed you to an already raring to go Oikawa. "Just head home. Its ok." Oikawa gently grabbed your hand but you stopped and addressed the whole team.

They had paused to look at you and listen. You bowed and thanked them, your bow hiding the tears in your eyes. You stood up straight and smiled to them before going with an impatient Oikawa.

---

The walk to your home was filled with comfortable conversation about the party. "Hey, (Y/n)-kun? Could we have a sleepover at your house?" You looked up to him and tilted your head slightly. "Like the whole team? That's a lot of people and I dont know if my parents would even let me since there away right now-"

"No, not the whole team. Just us." You blushed at what he said and looked away, slightly embarrassed for rambling. "Oh... J-just the two of us?" He nodded and you just shrugged. "I-I guess thats... Ok. I dont think they'll mind." You said rubbing the back of your neck. "Let's goo then!" Oikawa said, dragging you to your house.

Once you two arrived, you unlocked the door and let him in. "Your house is so much bigger on the inside." He said looking around. "Wow thanks." He laughed, "I didnt mean it in a bad way!" You rolled your eyes and walked upstairs to your room thinking, "How the fuck does this dude make me flustered so easily..."

You didnt even realize Oikawa had followed you, thinking he would just stay downstairs for the time being. When you turned around to close the door you jumped at his presence. "I-Im gonna change so you can just hang out downstairs till I'm done." He smiled and gently rubbed the back of his head before asking, "Do you think I could use your shower actually?"

"Oh, yeah, go for it. It's the door behind you." You said pointing over his shoulder. He thanked you as you got him a towel he could use. You closed the door to your room and got changed into some comfy pjs. The shower could be heard through your door but you didnt mind and decided to make yourself comfortable on your bed and watch some tv.

After a few minutes, the shower turned off and after another couple minutes, the door opening to reveal a shirtless Oikawa wearing sweatpants. You looked over only to look away just as fast. Oikawa smirked and jumped into the bed with you. You squeaked a very manly squeak as he hovered over you.

Your eyes looked up to his but couldn't be stopped when they looked at his chest. 'A tattoo?' You looked back up to him and asked, "You have a tattoo? Since when?" He just smiled and shook his head. "Since I was like twelve. Look what it says." He said sitting the two of you up. Oikawa was basically sitting on your lap but you didnt mind.

'You're in the way, stupid trashcan.'

It was written in beautiful cursive. You smiled and tried not to laugh but couldn't help it. Oikawa watched as the love of his life laughed at the first words he ever said to him.

"I said that when we first met! Did you really get it tattooed on your chest?" Oikawa rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Its illegal to get a tattoo when your twelve." You tilted your head slightly. "Then how did you get it?" He looked at you unamused before becoming nervous. This made you nervous too as he laid the both of you down in your bed.

"(Y/n)... Did you study soulmates?" You nodded and asked why. "Theres a chapter about two soulmates having different ways of finding eachother." You nodded again and tried to process the information but he spoke again. "Mine was the first words they say to you are tattooed somewhere on your body."

You looked at him and fully processed everything. It clicked. "Is that why you... Did all this stuff for me over the last year? W-why didn't you say something sooner?" He glanced out the window and seemed nervous again. "Theres a chance that you can actually have a different soulmate than me..." You furrowed your brows and sat up to look at him.

He didnt look at you and just glanced out the window. "What do you mean by that?" He looked over to you and directly in your eyes. "When we both have different ways of meeting our soulmate, theres a chance that you could have a different soulmate even though you're mine."

"That means when we wake up tomorrow... I wouldn't be hugging you, but your soulmate... And... I dont want that."

Oikawa looked away and you just looked at him shocked. "You're so weird out of character." You said leaning down and pulling him into a hug, laying on top of him in the process. "I'm being serious y'know..." You nod and nuzzle your face into his neck.

"I know. I dont want something like that to happen either." He shifted so that he could look at you properly and cupped your face. His eyes held clear care and adoration.

"Let's sleep now, and if I dont wake up to you tomorrow... I'll find you ok?"

--- 2552 Not proof read too well

[myelocin]

Cradle | Sakusa Kiyoomi, Iwaizumi Hajime

Synopsis: First is love; in the forms over the years you come to know. Then second is grief and loss; and how the struggle that comes with it defines and reshapes you. And finally third is acceptance, where you realize that the awakening to love and life’s questions have always just been in the palm of your hand.

This story is for those who shielded themselves from love before it could even hit them. 

Characters/Pairings: Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader x Iwaizumi Hajime | Seijoh 3rd years (friendship)

Genre/Tags/Warnings: Slice of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Slow burn, Seijoh4!Friendship, Cellist!Sakusa, Musician!Reader, Hajime lmao, Mutual Pining, Love Triangle, Happy Ending!!, Character death, mentions of spiraling

WC: 17.5k

a/n: a month long wip! this one is all for you, mom. i broke my heart writing down these memories, but i hope you read this on the other side. + big thank you to @introvertedfangirlpower for the cello facts! really helped me :)

playlist: Message to Myself - Roo Panes

ko-fi | commissions

For you, love began in the unknown.

You say unknown because you don’t remember much of your childhood other than the flashes of residual warmth that came with the memory of your mother. For as long as you can remember, she always felt like that: warm and familiar—like home.

Her presence like the warmth that stays on your coffee mug long after you’ve consumed your drink. Warmth like sitting in front of a fireplace as you watch the last bits of firewood extinguish in the flames.

And your fondest memory perhaps—warm like the hands that cup your face and kiss your forehead every morning before you left for school.

The early years in your life meant days spent in planted gardens outside of a kitchen window where the pink and yellow flowers bloom in the spring, and jumping in the fallen leaves raked in a pile centered in the backyard in the late autumn.

Then in the winters, when it became too cold to lay in blankets in the backyard stargazing for constellations—you’d spend the Christmas nights listening to bedtime stories about her time traveling the world you have yet to explore. “You’ll fall in love with seeing what’s out there,” you recall her saying as she tucks you in bed with the green blanket she knitted for you when you were a baby.

Though you suppose even if you loved the winter months with her the best—you could never go wrong with sipping the iced tea she’d leave for you on the porch in the afternoons you spent outside in the summers. The iced tea she made was always the best: never too sweet, and never too bland either.

And for the most part of your childhood, your father was absent. You didn’t really care; his absent never lingered. So even when the bratty kid from the classroom next to yours would brag about the brand new jacket her papa bought her from a trip overseas—you didn’t care. The jacket you wore was still the same one from last year, and the scarf wrapped around you was the one she knitted two winters ago, but the way she wrapped you up and kissed your nose made the taunting escape your mind.

Your mother would tell you stories about the times when you were a baby and of how she’d tuck you in nice and snug in your blanket whenever she felt the room was too cold and then fan you out when the temperature rose. Apparently, when you were a baby you never cried too much so she was left to guess whether you felt comfortable enough with the room’s temperature or not. She always finished the story by saying you smiled at her either way so she supposes she guessed right every time.

You don’t question it because she guesses right every time.

During father daughter dances that were annually held in your school, your mother always made sure to take the day off of work early so the two of you would have dinner some place nice instead. Her jokes were better than the ones your dad halfheartedly chucked your way when he did come to visit anyway, so you didn’t mind.

Your father ringing you up three hours before the dance with the last minute classic excuse of “sudden meeting today, I’m sorry.” didn’t bother you as much as you think it should have when your mom was right next to you ready to tell you another story from her younger days.

Her “younger days” as she liked to call it was always a favorite topic of hers that she always returned to from time to time. At eight years old, it felt like there was so much of the world still to explore and despite her telling you to live your childhood to the fullest, you didn’t ask what it meant and requested to hear an encore of the story she just finished telling.

She’d smile and you’d hear her tell you that no, and that you should have listened, but you know during the “father daughter” dinners shared between the two of you, she was extra soft and that it would take nothing more than pleading eyes and one more “please” before she’d relent and tell the story again.

She was always enough; every second with her felt just right—and if there’s something you never regret during your childhood, it’s those times where you’d ignore the teasing of having “no dad to dance with” from your childhood bullies because you were more than content with the superwoman who raised you anyway.

-

If there was someone in your childhood other than your mom who never hesitated to hold your hands—it was the boy who lived right down the street: Iwaizumi Hajime.

“He looks a little scruffy,” your mom used to tell you and you’d shrug at her words because to ten year old you, she did have a point. Boys were icky.

His family didn’t move in your street until you turned ten years old, but according to the Oikawa family who lived next door—the Iwaizumi family had already been one of their long term friends. Tooru, the pretty boy who was your next door neighbor and often brought you the Christmas cookies you’ve come to love every December didn’t hesitate to knock on your door and ask your mom for permission to bring you out and play.

Tooru was okay, you thought; he had nice hair and a pretty smile even though he wore alien t-shirts every chance he could get. But, he was always kind enough to remember that you preferred almonds in your cookies instead of the cashews the recipe called for. So when your mother looked at you for your answer, you nodded shyly before running to your room to grab the jacket and scarf she reminded you to wear. The chill from autumn’s air has been settling in the region lately, so you let her wrap the scarf around you tightly before you left.

She did the same for both Tooru and his mystery friend, and you could only nod proudly when Tooru introduced his friend to your mother with, “This is (l/n)-san, she’s the nicest auntie here!”

You don’t notice the boy who walks quietly beside Tooru until the three of you reach the park. When you do finally notice him, you subconsciously find yourself moving a little closer to Tooru, your puffy cheeks hidden in the layers your scarf buried you in.

“Oh!” Tooru suddenly exclaims like he just had an epiphany.

“(Y/n),” he says as he turns to you and grabs the sleeve of your jacket, “—this is Iwa-chan. My bestest friend!”

Iwa-chan, the boy introduced to you peeks at you from Tooru’s left side and puffs his cheeks, “My name is Iwaizumi Hajime, nice to meet you.”

“Hello, I’m (y/n),” you reply and tentatively hold your hand out as an offer for him to shake, “nice to meet you Iwaizumi-san.”

His cheeks turn red at your words and you fight the urge to laugh at how silly it looks with his pout when he says, “You can call me Hajime. Nice to meet you too.”

Beside you, Tooru must have thought that his friend was taking too long to respond because he sighs loudly and grabs Hajime’s hand and clasps it on yours. “Iwa-chan, you’re supposed to shake her hand! Not stare.”

The red tinting his cheeks turn into a couple shades darker as he shakes your hand and turns his head to the side after muttering something along the lines of, “Baka-kawa.”

You smile at him when he faces you, and then smile even wider when the blush on his cheeks turn even redder. Maybe it’s just the cold air, you think, but none the less it suited him.

His hair was a little scruffy and he liked to wear Godzilla t-shirts under his jackets, but his cheeks blushed a pretty shade of red when you smiled at him so when your mom asks how your day with Tooru and the new neighbor went, you smile at her and say, “Mama I made a new friend!”

Hajime seemed nice, you suppose.

-

And you’re right because Hajime was always kind; he smiled in a way that had you smiling along with him in mere seconds. Though he was a little rougher with Tooru, Hajime always made it his mission to make sure he held your hand—if you needed it—when you needed to jump down a big step; the ever present blush on his cheeks when you’d beam at him stayed regardless of whatever season so you suppose you can’t blame it on the cold air anymore.

During your summer breaks, the three of you would spend the afternoons in your mother’s backyard sipping iced tea and catching cicadas. Tooru, along with you, would whine about how gross bugs were but you’d sooner relent than him when a pout began to form on Hajime’s face.

“You don’t have to,” Hajime says and takes a seat next to you on the swing next to the rosebushes. Tooru, from a far would yell triumphantly before tossing the volleyball he’d brought with him from home again. You, on the other hand could never have it in you to see Hajime upset so you’d pick up one of the three nets he’d brought with him and nod towards the garden.

“It’s okay!” you say and offer him a sweet smile when he’d look up, “as long as you keep the worms away from me then it’s okay!”

“I’ll keep them away,” he replies suddenly looking excited. Hajime jumps from the swings to grab another net and tugs at your hand to run towards the garden; he chooses to ignore the look on Tooru’s face when the latter shoots him a knowing smirk.

Bugs were never your thing and there was also never a day where you thought you’d be out in the garden running hand in hand with a boy trying to catch cicadas on a summer afternoon—when you’d much prefer to be sitting in a picnic blanket with the family dog who always nudged your hand for belly rubs. But then again, when you see Hajime, the kind boy with the infectious smile who always held your hand when you crossed the street or jumped from big steps, beam at you with his laughs ringing in the air—you conclude that it can’t be so bad after all.

When the sun would set and the three of you would let go of all the cicadas you caught, your mom would sit the three of you down for dinner and talk about your days.

“Ah, youth,” your mother would comment and you’d nod along, smiling because if this is what she meant by the beauty of youth—then you don’t ever want to let this go. If youth meant summer afternoons spent catching cicadas, festivals in the autumn, hot cocoas in winter, and picnics in the spring with Hajime and Tooru then you decided you really don’t want to let it go.

You think that especially when you look at the table across you as you smile at Tooru shoveling his dinner down and smiling at your mom because she was the bestest cook ever and laugh when Hajime’s always the one offering to pass the salt or the dish your mother asked for.

“Haji is really smart, mama,” you say looking up at the woman seated next to you and Tooru would whole heartedly agree then mutter something about “Iwa-chan” being really good at arm wrestling. Hajime would flush with the familiar shade of red you’ve grown accustomed to at Tooru’s comment but tell your mother a polite thank you when she’d clap her hands together and agree with Tooru’s compliment.

That night when your mother tucked you in for the night and moved to turn off the lights in the bedroom, she tells you that Hajime and Tooru are nice boys and that she’s glad you befriended the both of them.

You tell her goodnight and smile into your covers, feeling warm at the thought of your mother’s words, Tooru’s laughter, and Hajime’s kind smile.

-

High school was a strange time for the three of you.

Strange, in the sense that even though the three of you maintained the closeness of the friendship you’ve shared since childhood—certain things factored in the evident shift in some relationships.

Tooru was one example.

You would give up an arm for him in a heartbeat if it meant it would save his life, but at the same time, there are some moments where you wouldn’t hesitate to rip off his arm just to get him to shut up.

He’s always been perceptive, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise when he came to your house one day, plopped himself on the beanbag he claimed to be “his spot” at the corner of your desk, look you dead in the eye, and declare, “You have the hots for Iwa-chan don’t you?”

Internally, you wince at the statement but outwardly maintain the air of nonchalance you’ve mastered over the years. Tapping your pen on Tooru’s forehead, you click your tongue, “If you don’t finish your essay by today, I’m not gonna edit it for you.”

“You’re changing the topic, (y/n),” Tooru quips and if the conversation was about something different, you’d smile at the sing-song tone he was using.

“Changing what?” You ask.

“(Y/n),” Tooru replies, dragging out the last syllable of your name, “—you’re so obvious, even Makki and Mattsun could tell.”

“Could tell what?” comes Hajime’s voice from the doorway.

You let out a sigh because in a way you’re thankful for Hajime’s impeccable timing in entering your room. You turn your head and glance at him from your desk, offering him a lazy wave as a greeting.

“Iwa-chan!” Tooru exclaims and scrambles on the beanbag to sit up properly. “How much have you heard?”

“Were you talking about something important?” Hajime asks with a flat tone as he sits on your bed and pulls out his laptop.

“Your mom asked me and Oikawa to stay for dinner tonight, by the way. That cool with you?” he asks.

You look at him, the expression on your face quizzical, “Haji, you guys always stay for dinner. Mama and I love having you two around.”

From your peripheral vision, you could see Tooru look between you and Hajime back and forth and for once you’re glad he chose to stay silent.

But then when a familiar tinge of red falls on Hajime’s cheeks and you smile fondly at him, Tooru suddenly hollers, “(Y/n), that’s what I mean. You totally have the hots for Iwa-chan!”

Hajime’s eyes widen as you slap a hand over your face.

Today was one of the days where you decide you want to rip Tooru’s arm off.

-

Dinner later that night was, to put it bluntly, awkward.

You figured your mom must have already read the atmosphere by now but as of the moment all you could really do was shoot glares towards Tooru from across the table. Usually, the seating arrangement would be like this: you sat next to your mom, Tooru right across you, and Hajime diagonal from you.

Tonight, Tooru decided that it was time to “switch things up” and traded seats with Hajime.

“Ahh, this feels nice,” he says as he sits in the chair inches away from the chair where he sat for years.

“Boys,” your mother begins, “I heard you both got into the volleyball team.”

Tooru beams at her through a mouthful of pasta. “Yeth!” he chimes and Hajime elbows him on the side reminding him to eat properly before responding. You, along with your mother give a soft laugh at their interaction.

“How are you three liking high school so far? I expect the two of you to get rid of any boys who have bad intentions towards (y/n),” your mother says as she sips on her wine. Internally, you groan, because this was a conversation you would much prefer to not have. Especially in front of Tooru, you decide when he grins with an undertone of something you could only guess was anything but good. You shoot him a warning look; Tooru decides it’s a good day to ignore you.

Over the years, you made your appreciation known towards Hajime’s amazing timing. It was like he had a sixth sense when it came to either you, Tooru, or the both of you simultaneously. He had always managed to round the corner right as the passing university boys would spot you alone by the convenience store, catch Tooru before he did anything too drastic whenever he blamed himself a little too harshly for a loss from a particularly bad game, or like earlier that night—walk into a room interrupting a conversation you would rather avoid altogether.

This current situation was not one of those times.

Hajime took a bite. Your eyes were still locked on Tooru who did everything but look in your direction.

“I don’t think that’s a problem, (L/n)-san,” he said and leaned forward. Your mother next to you raised an eyebrow in question and muttered an, “oh?”

Hajime took another bite, still oblivious to the current conversation. You still looked at Tooru who smiled at you in a way that had you gripping the fork in your hand a little tighter.

“No scary boys around (y/n), at all! Isn’t that right, Iwa-chan?” Tooru exclaims and looks at his best friend next to him who was still engrossed in his plate of food. You hold your breath looking at Hajime as you wait for his response.

“Huh? Yeah. Anyway, this new recipe is really good (l/n)-san,” he finally says and nods towards your mother. Tooru clasps his hands together, smiling.

“Personally,” Tooru begins, “I think Iwa-chan and (y/n) would be the most perfect couple!”

You run your hands over your face, already feeling the heat crawling up your neck. Feeling your mother’s stare you let out a sigh and face her. “Mom-“

“Hajime! That’s great! I was wondering when the two of you would get together, it’s literally been years.”

You stare at her. Hajime stares at her; pasta sauce is smeared on the corner of his lips.

“I know, imagine being the third wheel this whole time!” Tooru comments.

-

“Hajime’s a nice boy,” your mother tells you as you join her in the living room after Tooru and Hajime returned home.

“We’re not, a thing, mom,” you say despite her laughing at your tone.

“I didn’t say you two were a thing.”

You open your mouth, but eventually close it when you come short of a response. She had a point.

“Mom,” you groan, “Haji is nice. Tooru is nice. Both of them are nice.”

“I know that, (y/n), you’re just being defensive now,” she laughs and you can’t find a retort so you huff in response.

When the room is dips into silence, you grab the familiar green blanket folded on the corner of the couch and take a seat next to her. She looks at you when you lean against her shoulder and drape the blanket over the two of you.

“(Y/n),” your mother says softly.

“Yeah?” you respond, looking up to catch her gaze—the kind where it’s steady and soft.

“Never lose yourself if you decide to give your heart to someone. I raised you well enough and no boy should ever make you feel like you’re taking two steps back,” you know she doesn’t say it to spite Hajime, but the message and advice in her words reach you anyway.

“Never in a million years.”

-

You know your mother means well because everything she’s done so far was because it was for your sake. Her credit of being a good mom was well deserved: a full time nurse and a full time mother wasn’t an easy feat but she did it—and not a day goes by where you felt like you had to fight for her time.

And because of that, you knew in your heart that Hajime knew the both of you enough to understand the dynamic you had with her; for that, you were always thankful.

True to Tooru’s words, it only took the both of you six more months of back and forth bickering in your room before you eventually built up enough courage to stand in front of Hajime with your confession written neatly in jet black ink on paper tucked inside the pink envelope Tooru had demanded you to use.

He was quiet, and staring at you long enough for your cheeks to turn as pink as the envelope you were holding that it had you beginning to wrack your brain for excuses to turn and walk in the opposite direction. Only, when you looked up, cheeks flushed and the “Sorry I think I have to be home early to put my fish to sleep,” at the tip of your tongue—you stop because Hajime’s looking at anywhere but you and because his entire face is red.

You still have the envelope awkwardly stretched out towards him so when you move in attempt to retract it, his hands are suddenly clasped over your wrists and he’s looking at you, red face and all, saying, “W-wait—“

The both of you must have been quite the spectacle for the way you’re staring at each other, red faced, and waiting for the other to begin speaking because you could definitely make out Takahiro and Issei’s snorting from some feet away.

“—shit,” Hajime continues and the way he’s still staying silent and going back to avoiding your gaze has you tugging your wrists out of his hold and sheepishly telling him, “Sorry, this is a little awkward isn’t it?”

You’re standing in front of Hajime with your hands holding the letter behind your back and an awkward smile on your face.

“(Y/n), this is really weird—“ he begins and you’re shaking your head automatically at his attempt to soften the blow by waving your arms—and the letter—in front of him saying, “Haji! No! It’s okay you don’t have to say anything, this was a really bad idea—“

“No, I mean—“ he cuts you off then pauses as he’s sifting through the contents of his bag and pulling out a slightly crumpled envelope, the color a disturbingly identical to your own.

You look at Hajime. Hajime looks at you, at his envelope, then towards yours that paused with your hand midair. Issei and Takahiro’s laughter can be heard even louder from the background when Hajime runs his hands over his face and exclaims,

“Oikawa you son of a bitch.”

-

Two years and some months ago, Oikawa Tooru—the self-proclaimed “love guru” between you and Hajime had declared to have pulled off his “greatest plan.”

Apparently, the original plan called for only you to confess to Hajime via the classic love letter—but Issei and Takahiro had thought that the shits and giggles were worth to have both of you confess to each other at the same time instead.

Tooru always retells the story in the fashion where he leaves out Issei and Hiro’s names out of the credits. On the contrary, you and Hajime don’t have in in you to react much.

In the beginning, Hajime the friend held your hand through many of your highs and lows.

From age ten, he’d always make sure to hold your hand when you’re jumping from steps a little too far for your liking. At twelve, he’s holding your hand as he leads you away from the worms that found its way near the picnic blanket. At fifteen, when the two of you accidentally confessed to each other thanks to your friends’ schemes, he held your hand as he pulled you in the direction opposite of Tooru yelling, “Iwa-chan, don’t forget I’m the best wingman!”

Hajime, the boyfriend, had continued to hold your hand as well as share a multitude of your first throughout the years.

Your first date where he’d always let you walk on the correct side of the sidewalk, and make sure to squeeze your hand whenever the two of you would pass by a group of boys who let their stare linger. Your first kiss—a quick peck after a game where he’d rushed to you, lifting you up and planting a kiss on your lips before either of you could even process what was happening.

A reassuring hand on your back in the train ride during rush hour, kisses on your knuckles when he thought no one was around in quiet libraries, and your favorite: the feel of his thumbs tracing idle circles on the back of your hand when you’re watching him review the game you recorded earlier.

You were each other’s first “I love you,” when you’re seventeen, which was said in the hours between the day and night on your walk home down a quiet street you’ve skipped, ran, and biked across countless of times. You heard it break the silence before you said it with your own lips, because the way Hajime said it was like he was just talking about the weather that day.

When the two of you stop in front of your house and Hajime’s facing you, he’s smiling in the way that has you blushing instead of him this time and he’s looping your scarf even snugger around your neck after muttering some comment about how cold it was that day.

“Haji, did you just tell me you love me?” you ask him when he’s zipped up your jacket and you’re peeking at him under the various layers of the scarf he secured around you.

“Yeah, of course, I love you.”

“This is the first time you’re telling me that,” you say with an almost bashful expression and your eyes are cast down so you don’t end up seeing Hajime’s eyes widen at the realization dawning on him.

“(Y/n), shit—“

“I love you too, Haji,” you cut him off and even if the expression in his face is still a little apologetic at the lack of climax of your first exchange of I love yous, he’s holding your hands and pulling you flush against him in an embrace, his proclamation of more “I love yous” fluttering against your ear in warm breaths.

You think about it sometime later when you’re clearing up the plates on the table from dinner and you ask your mom, “how do you know when it’s right to tell someone I love you?” and she looks at you with an expression that says she knows exactly what you’re talking about but humors your attempt at nonchalance as she replies with, “It just slips out as if you’re talking about the weather.”

And the way she says it has the second thoughts just automatically leaving your head. You tell her “I love you,” in the mornings before she leaves for work and you don’t really think about it—not because it’s a passing comment, but because you just simply love her.

The feeling’s there because what you feel in the moment is as genuine as it can get, so when you think about Hajime from seven years ago who blushed red when you shook his hand and the Hajime seven hours ago who told you he loved you like he was talking about the weather—everything dawns on you in the way that feels right. No second thoughts, deep analysis, or euphoric moment.

>> to hajibug:

>> 23:50: i love you

-

In college you decided to pursue music as a career choice. Music was one of the many things you and your mother had bonded over but watching you play in first chair always gave you the best view of her beaming from the audience.

Whenever somebody asked you why you decided to pursue a career in the field as vague and competitive as music—for a long time you fumbled with your words as you struggled to piece together a coherent enough sentence that would make it seem like you were chasing something for a “deeper” reason. Though, the truth is—you just happen to enjoy it.

The way the shoulder rest snapped perfectly in place with the violin, the weight of the bow in your hand, the smell of rosin during practice, the tuning before the concert started before hearing the eventual mess mold together into one harmony—you loved every second of it.

On the final concert of your first year in college, a week before Hajime’s move to California you stood in the orchestra room reading a text from your mother saying that she couldn’t make it this time because of a doctor’s appointment running later than usual.

You still sat in the first chair of the first violins section and even though you would have loved nothing more than to see her smile at you from the crowd—it was in the coda of the final song where  your eye finally catches Hajime watching you from her seat. When the violins put their instruments down in the measures of rests, you glance over to look at Hajime while your toe continued to tap the counts remaining until you’d play again.

You bite back a smile because he looked a little uncomfortable from the high collar of the suit he put on. Tooru’s probably the mastermind, your thoughts chime in as you smile and tuck the violin back in between your chin and shoulder, your rosin covered bow hovering over the E string.

And when the final count of the rests came and went, you could only smile as you see Hajime physically hold his breath as the violins amplified the crescendo of the climax.

-

It was later that night when you finally made it home that you realize that perhaps your favorite part of the song was when you felt the emphasis of the dynamics in the pieces you played.

The moment of absolute silence as the conductor draws everyone’s attention to the tip of the baton.

“(Y/n),” your mother starts and your eyes lock on the slight tremble in her hands.

The seemingly collective sharp breath everyone takes when the tip of the baton begins to signal the final counts until the start. Your fingers pressed on the first note as your bow hovers over the string.

“What’s wrong?” you ask but you let your fingers only ghost on her hands when she holds her silence, refusing to meet your eyes.

Sometimes it begins with a quiet note—and you smile at those because it sounds like a whisper despite it ringing in the auditorium.

“I’m sick,” she says and what she says doesn’t register in your head.

Other times, the first note comes in forte and leaves everyone in a resonating silence while the following notes interlace and begin to tell the story.

“I have cancer, (y/n),” she tells you again, louder this time and her sobs echo so loud in the silence of the house that it suddenly makes you want to throw your hands over your ears.

The conductor is waving the baton; you’re closing your eyes as you mold yourself with the music and focus on nothing but your fingers flying across the fingerboard and making sure the timing of your bow matches the tap of the rhythm set.

“Mom, you’ll be fine right?” comes your assurance in question and she’s not answering because she’s crying harder.

First position to third, then fourth, then something else you don’t quite remember as the pressure from your bow presses harder and harder on the strings to climb with the crescendo the orchestra is rising to.

She looks at you, glassy eyes and trembling lips, then holds your face in between warm hands as she presses her forehead against yours.

Then as the baton drops and the crescendo overflows—the air around the room instantly changes. The shoulders relax and the movement of the bow shift from staccato to legato as the music continues to flow.

“I’m scared to leave you alone,” she finally admits and you finally break down and cry with her because you realize you have no one but each other.

You cry because she’s crying at the thought of leaving you alone when she never cried at all the times your father chose another family over her.

And as the music decrescendos into the whispers of pianissimo, you close your eyes as the gentle sway eventually lulls to a stop.

It’s half past ten and you’re still in your formal wear, but your mom’s fast asleep on the couch. The air from the AC brings you to a light shiver so you shuffle closer and pull the blankets tighter around her frame.

The last note drops and resonates in an almost infinite echo. Your eyes snap back open you feel yourself exhale.

For a moment the auditorium is in silence.

You sit on the floor next to her and listen to the sounds of steady breathing. You could pretend it was just another movie night where she fell asleep on the couch, but the telltale tracks of tears are on her cheeks and you hear her sniffling from time to time so you sigh instead.

Then, the audience erupts in an applause.

In your room, you put your palm over your mouth and begin to cry again.

-

“I love you so much,” is what Hajime said two years down the road when he decided to move to California to finish his studies.

First, he’d made a stop at your home and sat with your mother over breakfast as she wished him well on his new adventure. By the time he was at the door, it was the first time you saw Hajime cry for and with her when she wraps him in a scarf she knitted just for him. You watch softly, as he wraps her in a hug and parts with a promise to always take care of you despite the distance and wishes for her healing.

You’re standing at the border of the gate only Hajime can cross where he’s wrapped you in a hug with his chin resting on your head.

“I love you so much,” he says and you nod your head against his chest. He’s saying it as naturally as he always has and your reply is as immediate and natural when you say, “I love you too, Haji. So much.”

“(Y/n),” he starts when he pulls away from you and looks you in the eye; he’s suddenly serious and you’re afraid.

“If you ever feel like you don’t want to keep doing this, then we can take a break.”

Your brows pinch together as you reply, “Why would I want to break up with you?”

“I’m not saying we will, I just don’t want you to shoulder too much because I know how much you’re hurting right now,” Hajime explains, and his eyes are as genuine as the tone of his voice.

“Haji—“

“I believe in you, though, just—“ he pauses and his eyes soften before he continues, “take things one day at a time and remember that I’m here loving you every day, okay?”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” he finishes and you only nod at his words because the fact that you’re going to miss him really begins to hit you. Hajime’s looking at you in the tender way where you know he knows you’re about to cry because he pulls you in another embrace before kissing the top of your head as he murmurs his parting I love you in the quiet tone only you can hear.

When Hajime crosses the gate and turns the corner, you can’t help but bite your lip to keep from crying. Only a couple more years. You could take it.

-

It’s in the next eight months where you realize that while Iwaizumi Hajime shared your first love—he was also your first heartbreak.

They always said that long distance was difficult and the fact that you and Hajime were even trying was commendable enough. But that was the problem—commendable sounded like you were in the relationship for the sake of a prize. Like you were suffering through the now for a prize. Like the good part was only a one-time thing reserved at the end.

It felt wrong, and looking back at it now—perhaps that’s where the downfall began.

As time passed, your mom’s illness worsened. Cancer was ugly and it let itself be known in as many ways as it could. Time and time again, you’d watch her hair fall in strands, then clumps, until she eventually decided to shave it off for good. She smiled at you and you don’t hear her tell you, “It’s okay,” over the buzz of the razor. You don’t think you have the heart to listen to the quiver of her voice that you know is present with her words, so you suppose the loud buzz worked out in the end.

What broke your heart the most was seeing her excitement when her hair grew back after a pause in her treatment—only for her to sit down and tell you that she’s “okay” when you’re shaving off sections of her hair again.

You didn’t let her see you cry because you wanted to be as strong as she was in this; because you knew the both of you broke down within enclosed walls away from each other. Though every time you were face to face—the front was always back up. And the front was flawless; like the edges of a chipped sword finally smoothened back into a blade. But at the same time, flawed; because like the sword—the sharpness always kills.

It was unconventional, but it worked. The momentary sigh of relief was still moments of relief at the end of the day.

Hajime, on the other hand thought differently though. The second you’d answer his call request on particularly off days, he’d tell you to cry. And you would; fat drops of tears rolling down almost as soon as he finished his sentence.

Then only a year of loving each other through a computer screen passed before you realized he became your pillar at the same time you began hardening.

“Never lose yourself in the pursuit of someone or something,” are the words from your mother you consciously make an effort to tell yourself everyday even as you sit in with your phone in hand waiting for the call Hajime promised you early this morning.

And you’re well aware you’ve developed an unhealthy habit as you’re lying in bed, fighting sleep with the time on the clock nearing 4am still waiting for Hajime’s call. It wasn’t the first time he missed a promised phone call—and you weren’t mad because you understand that he has as much of a schedule as you do and that time difference was a wedge the two of  you needed to work with.

But still, you think, then sigh when you put your arm over your eyes as the clock clicks to 04:07AM beside you, this fucking sucks.

You know Hajime will text you an apology when it’s seven am for you and late at night for him, but you put your phone’s ringer on silent to convince yourself that you’re fine and you’re not dependent on his presence at all. That you’re handling yourself just fine and that the anxiety you have every time your mother comes back home from a checkup is something you can deal with by yourself.  

You shut your eyes when the dull ache in your chest begins to grow sharper as your thoughts shift from school, to your mom’s illness, to Hajime, and to the fact that you want to cry at the heaviness of everything.

And the frustration is eating you alive because you hate feeling this helpless. Not when your mother taught you nothing but how to be strong your whole life. Not when all you should know is how to stand on your own two feet despite whatever the situation life throws at you.

So when the morning comes and you wake up to a plethora of Hajime’s missed calls and frantic texts asking if you’re okay—you text him an assurance that you’re fine and that he shouldn’t worry about it.

You face the day with everything you feel pushed to the back of your mind. You face the mirror and tell yourself that you’re fine.

-

Hanamaki’s a good friend, and a lot smarter than you give him credit for.

It didn’t fly past him when you left for phone on silent or chose to spend your break with him or Mattsun when you usually would utilize that time for Hajime. But at the same time, he noticed you spacing out in conversations a little more than usual, reject any plans they invited you in, and his least favorite—see you break down in the practice room when you thought no one was around.

Neither he nor Issei chose to tell Hajime or you about it; he could never understand what you were going through—but he understood that the way someone heals differs from person to person.

It took about a few more months of Hajime’s schedule piling up and your silent breakdowns for the both of you to finally snap and confront one another.

It started with Hajime telling you a round of an apology, “I’m sorry, I promise I’ll call you on time—I just,”

“—shit everything’s just crazy. I’m sorry, babe.”

Then you nod and absent mindedly twirl one strand of your hand as you force his apology in one ear and out the other. You were fine. You’re handling things well. You didn’t need Hajime as a support system, so you reply, “It’s fine. I got this.”

And you like to think it was going well, but he asks, “How’s your mom doing?” and your hands are suddenly gripping the edge of the table (where you know he can’t see) tight. You didn’t tell him that she cried from the results when she came home earlier and waved you off when you stood up to help her balance herself. That thirty minutes ago you could hear her yell at your father over the phone about something she didn’t tell you about and that at the moment, you’re thankful for the way your fingers were digging into your skin because it’s helping you re shift your focus into anything but what was going on.

Hajime’s not looking at you because he’s looking at the report he was typing on his laptop instead. So first, you hype yourself up by thinking about how you don’t need anyone to push you through things and that how you’re handling yourself and the situation was more than fine, then, you answer,

“She’s okay, too.”

You try to ignore how gritty it sounded; Hajime doesn’t seem to notice either.

You’re quiet after that and Hajime must have thought it was odd because he pauses his work to look at you and ask, “Are you okay?”

And he says it with such a gentle tone that you suddenly want to crumble and tell him about the heaviness that hasn’t left you since the day your mom began slipping. But a knock from Hajime’s door and a distant call of his name snaps you out of those thoughts. Hajime, on the other hand, ignores them and asks you the question again, which you wave off this time with a quick, “It’s okay you can call me when you’re done.”

He’s hesitant when he leaves and he shoots you a text seconds after his face leaves the screen but you don’t reply; you spend the rest of the night with your face pressed against the pillow while you will yourself to believe that you, alone, have everything under control.

And, really, you should have left it to end like that.

But you don’t; because when morning comes and you wake up feeling heavy, you’re left in a haze where everything feels muddled. And the feeling of screaming hits you so fast and so hard that the dam just breaks.

It’s seven am and you’re crying for reasons you can’t find a starting point to. The kind of cry where every heave hurts and makes you ball your fists because of an unsourced anger. It’s disorienting and frustrating because you’re not mad at specifically anything—but at the same time, everything feels like its swallowing you whole again. You wish you could blank out like the time she told you she was sick—even if it meant moving through your day hyper aware of your movements. But you can’t, because it’s one of those days where the heaviness just sits on your chest and forces you to face the fact that it hurts.

And you always say “it” because you don’t know where to begin. Because you never began; never sat down and looked at your reflection in the eye and asked yourself, “what was wrong?”

Because you’re fine.

Everything’s fine.

It’s still fine because when your phone is ringing, you answer with a fresh face and a smooth, hello.

Hajime greets you like usual, but then settles into a background that isn’t.

You don’t really care.

He asks you how you’ve slept, and you nod once as a reply. He’s chuckling and says something about you looking cute cuddled up in bed, still half asleep so you nod again to go along with his story. Underneath the sheets, you’re fisting the blankets as you count each breath you’ve inhaled and exhaled as Hajime begins to talk about his day.

Then someone, who you can’t recall you know, sits next to him with an arm casually draped over his shoulder and pushes her face near his as she waves a hello. Usually, you’re not much of the jealous type so something like that shouldn’t even be a red flag for you. Hajime was a friendly person all around, and time and time again he’s explained how different the American culture was from home.

Given that fact, on a normal situation it would have been fine. Understandable, even.

But before you could even begin smooth your thoughts back to rationality, you explode. Hajime’s facing away from you in a conversation where he can’t see, so you suppose that could have been a good thing.

Then, your anger comes out.

First, it trickles; you stay silent and opt to stare at him, seething when he finally begins a conversation. Hajime’s eyebrows shoot up just like that and he bids his friend a quick goodbye before rushing into an empty room.

Second, it pools. You tell him a series of things you don’t even think makes sense, but from the way his face morphs into a grimace—it wouldn’t take much to conclude that what you said was something ugly.

Third, you’re wading in waist deep. You’re sitting up and pointing at him, bringing up a photo you saw of him with his arms hung over someone’s shoulder. A classmate, you concluded last week; a lover, you accuse him of having in the moment.

Fourth, Hajime rushes to keep you from going in further. He doesn’t feed into your anger and instead tells you to take a deep breath before talking to him. And for a second, you relent and listen. He explains that she’s a classmate from his biology class and that you’re just overreacting over something that shouldn’t even be an issue.

Fifth, comes the struggle. Your anger flares at his words and everything you’ve felt and pushed underwater suddenly bobs to the surface. Hajime wasn’t at fault, and you know that, but he’s huffing in a way that tells you he’s inches past exhausted and it does nothing to quell your outburst.

“Maybe what you should do is listen to yourself and calm the fuck down,” is what he tells you as you flinch at his tone.

“Well, I’m sorry, for just wanting to talk to you Hajime,” is what you say as retaliation. Hajime’s hand that instantly flies up to soothe his temple doesn’t fly past you.

“We are talking, (y/n). Why are you trying to make me apologize for something I didn’t even do?”

“Why can’t you understand my point? This is exhausting, Hajime.”

“I told you from the beginning. If you didn’t want to keep doing this then we stop,” he retorts, anger steadily rising.

“You’re making it sound like you’re the one wanting to stop this,” you bite back.

“I don’t. But it’s like every time we talk nowadays it’s like you’re being too much, this doesn’t seem like you anymore,” Hajime finishes.

And as the silence settles, everything clicks. You’ve been too dependent, and he feels the same way. He’s right, this isn’t you at all. You shouldn’t need to cling to him to for crumbs of healing; because you’re more than fine.

Have been more than fine, really; so you blank and reply, “You’re right, sorry about that.”

He looks at you, confused, before the silence envelops the two of you again. You allow it to stay this time.

“Maybe we should take a break, (y/n). Just some time to cool off; I feel like we’re just too overloaded right now.”

“We should,” you reply, expression unfazed as you cut the call.

The sixth, is where you allow the anger to stay instead of recede. Your mother asks you how you’re feeling and you’re quick to answer that you’re okay.

Hajime doesn’t text you until an hour later, wanting to talk. You set your phone to silent.

“What made you decide to not get back together with dad?” you ask her when she’s quiet in front of you. Your mother looks at you for a while before she pieces the red eyes and silent phone together, then tells you, “I loved myself more.”

You nod, conflicted. Her eyes were as red as yours and you heard her weeping his name just the night before and she knows you’re aware. Your phone vibrates on the table again and you miss the way her eyes flicker to the device momentarily before focusing them back at you.

Both of you know, but neither of you ask.

“Never lose yourself, right?” you say quietly and she gives you a solid nod as she pours you a cup of coffee.

You never really liked coffee; then again, you never really liked the reality either.

But you take the mug and gulp in the bitterness anyway.

Then finally, the seventh is where you succumb under its waves. Hajime calls you later that night and you answer, expression honed into an almost natural state of indifference. He looks a little worse than you, but you ignore that.

“Is this it?” he asks and you nod curtly once, your fingernails already digging into your palms under the table.

“Are we going to hate each other?” Hajime asks you again and you sigh.

“I don’t have it in me to ever hate you, Haji,” you answer, truthfully and he gives you a halfhearted smile.

“I love you,” he says like he’s just talking about the weather, and stays on the line for a few seconds more before he eventually takes your silence as a response.

“I love you, too,” is what almost comes out of your mouth like second nature, but you bite your tongue anyway.  

He can’t hurt you first this way.

-

Sakusa Kiyoomi didn’t really root himself in your life until nine months after your break up with Hajime. Graduation came and went like the unfurling of a leaf, and before you knew it, you’re suddenly in the real world.

Before that, you only knew him as the first chair cellist who you always accidentally locked eyes with in every concert you managed to snag the first chair spot in the first violin’s section.

Bumping into him during morning practice first led to string quartets, then duets during concerts, shared practice rooms—until eventually, he asked you out on a date.

He inserted the question in the conversation so naturally, too. After putting away the music stands, then shoving (in contrast to him neatly arranging) the sheet music into your folder—you were halfway done with loosening your bow when he asked, “Do you wanna get dinner later?” out of the blue.

To others who may have listened in to the conversation, it sounded like a natural invitation between friends, and Kiyoomi must have realized that because he was quick to face you after zipping up the case of his cello, and add, “—I meant dinner with me.”

You were still holding your bow and staring at him stare at you, so he filled the silence with, “Like a date. I’m asking you out on a date, (y/n).”

The two of you never really initiated anything outside the relationship between music partners, and the occasional friendly outing—but it had always been with others. Looking at him, you admit Sakusa Kiyoomi was a man who mastered hygiene. Which was always a bonus in your book. But you think back to Hajime for a second, then click your tongue quietly because you realize you shouldn’t be thinking about him when someone else was asking you out.

But you sigh and still offer him a smile when you reply, “Sorry I gotta watch my mom tonight. She’s not feeling well.”

Kiyoomi nods, and his eyebrows shoot up like he remembered something. “I heard your mom was sick? I’m sorry if I’m prying.”

You nod sharply once before internally groaning then thinking about how to steer the conversation away from the oncoming “I’m sorrys”, “It must be so tough,” or any sympathetic comments of the like.

But Kiyoomi only nods in understanding, briefly turning back to loop his arms through the case, then looking back at you again saying, “Ah. Understandable. My grandmother had cancer and my mom made her this soup that helped with the aching; I can give you the recipe for it.”

Your eyes shoot up at his response and the rehearsed response of, “I have no choice but to be tough for her. It’s okay, though,” dies in your mouth so you close it again and only nod a yes.

Kiyoomi turns to open the door once you had your own violin set inside and stands by the opening of the door to let you out first. You smile; he was mostly reserved, but still a gentleman.

“(Y/n),” he begins when the two of you walk side by side in the quiet morning hallway. “I know you don’t want to hear the pity comments, but I just wanna put it out there that you’re doing well.”

Your steps halt with his when you reach the end of the hallway where the flooring splits into two different directions but you face him, the thrumming of your heart feeling making you a little more choked up than you expected and tell him an honest thank you.

He lifts his right hand as a goodbye while he shoves the other in his pocket after he settles his mask in place, then turns to walk on the opposite direction.

“Sakusa-san!” you call out and he stops a few meters in front of you to turn back in your direction again.

“Dinner!” you call out again, “this weekend!”

You know your cheeks are a little more red than you would have liked and you’re more than aware of how white your knuckles must be from grasping the straps of your case, but you ignore that and add anyway, “As a date.”

The mask covering the lower half of his face obscures the expression he has but you notice the miniscule crinkle on the corner of his eyes when he laughs and replies, “Can you say that a little louder? I can’t hear.”

You huff and action to turn around because the heat on your face was getting a little too uncomfortable, but you hear him say, “It’s a date!” so you nod awkwardly in confirmation before turning your back and walking the opposite way.

You can imagine the look he has on his face and just how much amusement he’s gotten from the interaction but before you walk too far you hear, “Just call me Kiyoomi,” from him behind you.

You smile and feel as if you’re flipping into the first page of a new chapter.

-

In contrast to the push and pull energy you felt with Hajime, after almost being in a relationship with Kiyoomi for a year, things felt easy.

Communication between the two of you didn’t feel like unraveling codes; plus, being in the same department also meant your schedules mostly linked up. Though, personally, your favorite part was that he was never too pushy with the things you wanted to deal with alone.

He knew not to pry when you walked in the practice hall with bags under your eyes holding a cup of coffee you swore to heaven and back you detested drinking; you always saw a parcel of your comfort snack with a note laid beside your violin case in the locker room, though.

And when he ate dinner at your house, he also kept his comments to himself and never let his eyes wander to the amount of pills you had to help your mother count out when the little alarm in your phone rang. Then again, you never needed to question his intentions when he showed up the next day with a thermos filled with the soup your mom said she enjoyed once as a passing comment.

He’s always been one to remember the smaller details.

Along with preferring to stay in his personal space, Kiyoomi wasn’t one to smile too bashfully, but you can’t help but notice that when she laid her hands on his as a thank you and asked him to take care of you—the smile that graced his face looked warm.

She said that Kiyoomi seemed like a nice boy, and you agreed instantly—because he is.

He never pushed past the boundary you kept around yourself despite entering into a new relationship. There was a mutual air of respect—and neither of you expressed the desire to breech it.

Being with Kiyoomi felt as natural and in order to the flow as it does when your hands move to automatically loosen your bow when it came to packing up, or beginning with the A string when the conductor motioned for you to begin tuning.

You liked to think you fit quite well together. Like the duet that an audience listens to and clap at as if they were the whole orchestra. Like the blend of the high and low notes written on a score that collides in perfect harmony.

And it feels like it too.

Every time you’re seated across each other on the stage and you’re staring straight at one another to climb with the crescendo then descend into silence—you know that your heart, along with his, are beating in the same rhythm, with the same frequency. You’ve always found that break from the real world when you picked up an instrument and you’re glad that Kiyoomi’s the one you’re entering into that dimension with.

The ten minutes on stage feels timeless. The rush from the music still resonates in an infinite echo—your fingers twitching, craving, to fly across the notes in an encore. You’re smiling because when you stare at him—he’s smiling too. Unabashed and sparkling where you have no doubt in your mind that even without the stage lights he’d gleam the same.

And even as the crowd’s still cheering as you stand hand in hand and bow next to each other, you don’t hear anything. When reality begins to trickle into your senses and the rush of intoxication wears off, you let your smile mellow into a soft curve. You face the front row and look at the seat that’s a little towards the left and try not to notice your mother’s absence. You know she was admitted to the hospital three weeks ago and she hasn’t been doing too well. Kiyoomi squeezes your hand and whispers a, “you did well,” which you nod at.

He’s still smiling even as you exit the stage and pack up your instruments so you decide not to tell him that the boy sitting in that specific seat reminded you of Hajime.

-

Hajime, on the other hand became the contact on your inbox that got pushed down further and further when the holidays passed. You meant it when you said that you could never hate him—because you know you never really could.

He still showed up on your Instagram feed posting photos about his weekend road trips to Malibu or the spontaneous trips to Vegas his new friends looped him into—and you were happy to see him glowing. More times than not, your finger would hover over the like or send button to the comment you always end up deleting and you know it shouldn’t be that way. But reality reminds you that it is.

Your reality reminds you that Iwaizumi Hajime is someone who was witness to your growth and decline and that he was someone you chose to leave in the past.

But at the same time, his passing hellos were never left unheard. Kiyoomi knew, and like always, respected that. You would think this is the part where he should be reacting a little more aggressively, but you knew him to be above petty actions. He was secure, and he let that security be known in the grip of his hand that remained steady against yours when either Hanamaki’s or Issei’s eyes would stare a bit too long. They too, let their hesitations be known when you first introduced Kiyoomi to the both of them.

Issei opened his mouth with what looked to be the beginnings of a retaliation, but Hanamaki cut him off swiftly with a resounding, “We’re happy for you,” that promptly ended the conversation at that.

Then again, it didn’t change the fact that it was after that night where Hajime’s texts to you eventually dwindled to the seasonal greetings.

You tell yourself you don’t mind.

Because you don’t.

Because you’re fine.

-

Your mother isn’t fine.

Even though she’s been hospitalized for the past four weeks now, the past week has been specifically the most difficult. In and out of consciousness where different tubes were stuck and different needles prodded at her skin every day. It killed you because the second you heard her cry from when she thought you were still asleep rang in your ears over and over again throughout the day that resulted in you missing rehearsals for that entire week.

Kiyoomi drops by after school along with Hanamaki and Issei to check up on the both of you, but eventually leave when visiting hours end.

Kiyoomi usually stays a while longer, though; sitting outside the hospital parking lot and talking over a cup of coffee became a temporary permanent for the both of you during those weeks.

“How are you feeling?” he asks, then scoots closer to you on the bench when you exhale a sigh and lean forward. When your elbows settle into a rest on your thighs, you turn to him, offering a smile. It looked more like a sad quirk of the lip but Kiyoomi must have appreciated it more than he let on because his posture relaxes with you as he exhales.

“It’s weird, Omi,” you begin. “I mean she’s been at the hospital for treatments and checkups before but this is weird.”

Beside you, he stays quiet, and despite the distant noise of traffic in the background your voice sounds a little more amplified than you would have liked. None the less, you continued, “I’ve always known she hasn’t been fine but the past week just happened so fast.”

Puffing out another breath, you watch as it leaves you in a cloud before bringing the rim of the coffee cup to your lips. You don’t take a sip. Coffee was never your favorite anyway.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asks you and turns his body completely to face you.

You think about it, then sigh. You don’t; at least, not yet.

“It’s okay, she’s strong,” you tell him and raise your cup as you shoot him another smile.

“So are you,” he offers as a reply, then knocks his cup against yours softly, chuckling when your face grimaces at the taste.

“Why do you always order coffee when you hate it?” he asks as he watches you take another sip.

You laugh, then scoot closer to lean your head on his shoulder. “It’s just practical,” you answer. “It helps me stay up so even if I’d rather get the peach tea, I know that one will knock me out within an hour from all the sugar.”

Kiyoomi laughs at your reply before looping his arm through yours and threading your fingers together.

“You can loosen up time to time, you know,” he tells you and you smile a smile that strains both the muscles on your face and feeling in your chest.

“I wish I could,” you answer.

-

“Are you happy?” your mother asks you later that night.

The question catches you off guard and you take a seat on her bed next to her. You don’t look at each other and instead look at the wall that’s in front of you, so, tentatively, you reply, “Of course I am.”

And she’s quiet after that so you return her silence and continue to sit next to her.

The clock hanging above the door of her hospital room ticks slowly and for a while you’re comfortable. At this point you aren’t sure whether you wanted time to move faster or slower—because you knew the moments you spend with her are granted through borrowed time.

Time that’s borrowed from the prayers you kneel and voice out every night, the needles and tubes that poke and prod at her skin every day, and from the pills you help count out every time your alarm rings.

She began slipping the minute she told you she was sick—and along the years you knew she let herself slide along the current more carelessly every time she told you she was tired.

You’re looking at her when she touches your hand and you try not to flinch at how cold her skin’s gotten. She’s smiling when you face her and it makes you inhale in a way that hurts because the look on her face practically just tells you she’s tired.

But like the two of you had always done: you stay silent and mirror your smiles instead.

“I’m proud of you,” she says and your heart breaks as you will yourself to not cry. It occurs to you that she isn’t crying when she says it because her voice is resolute as it is soft. You want to ask her why she’s proud of you but you don’t because you realize when this becomes a memory you just want to leave it at that.

You want to leave it as a moment where a mother is telling a child that she’s proud of her.

So instead, you ask her, “Are you coming to see the concert with me and Kiyoomi in a few weeks?” just to make sure. That she’s still there; that she will still be there.

Her silence is your answer before she’s reaching out between the two of you and squeezing your hands instead.

-

On a Tuesday morning the next week she passes away at 3:08 PM with her eyes closed and face serene. The nurses tell you she opened her eyes to look at the world once more before she closed them and exhaled her last breath.

She was probably looking for you, they mean to say, but you bow your head in thanks when the medical staff offer their heartfelt condolence. You aren’t sure if you wanted to see her close her eyes for her last breath, but at the same time—you wonder if that thought was too selfish on your part.

When you’re in the car in the parking lot of the hospital grounds, you smell her perfume—lilac, so you close your eyes and tell her soul rest easy and I love you.

You text Kiyoomi to meet you in the practice room to go over the score once more after you gave yourself a few more moments to pull yourself together.

He texts you back with an, “are you sure?” so you sigh because he must have already realized what happened. Your fingers hover over the keypad of your phone as you think of an excuse to cancel plans last minute but Kiyoomi’s contact photo on your phone interrupts your thoughts in a call.

Despite your hesitation, your finger press the green to answer the call almost immediately.

“(Y/n?)”

“Hey,” you respond.

“Want me to come get you?” Kiyoomi asks and you notice how much softer his tone is.

“I can still drive, it’s okay—“

“—Are you okay?” he cuts you off and you nod your head frantically. It felt too automatic, and that thought didn’t fly by you, so you sigh.

Kiyoomi notices your silence over the line but he stays and for that you’re grateful. He isn’t really pushing you and you feel a sense of gratitude again because you don’t exactly know what to say either.

Before you could reassure him that you’re in a sense, “okay,” his voice breaks the silence over the line again.

“No one else is here, so I’ll wait for you if you’re coming.”

The smile that breaks on your face is one of relief, or at least you think it is, because your eyes are stinging and you hear yourself sniffle when you tell him a quiet okay, and thank you.

“I love you,” is what you think you hear Kiyoomi say as you cut the call and put the car in reverse.

-

“Sakusa Kiyoomi present here?” you call out with a slight chuckle as you push open the door and peek in the room.

His head snaps towards you immediately so you offer him a sheepish smile at best when you finally arrive in front of him. Kiyoomi’s eyes are softening in the way that has your heart constricting automatically so you cast your gaze down and immediately fidget with the zipper on your violin case. The steps he takes are heavy and audible in the wooden flooring so your heart hammers even more when you hear him cross the distance between the two of you.

“(Y/n),” he starts and you look up when his hands are on your shoulder. They feel warm, you think, much like the look you see in his eyes when he steadies his gaze towards you.

Kiyoomi joins you in your silence when you choose to remain in it and respond to him by only stitching on another smile. The palm of his hand is still warm on your shoulder but you try to focus on anything but the waves of his sympathy and presence because you know the second you step back in reality, you’ll break—again.

So when his hand squeezes your shoulder and he parts his lips to say the condolence you don’t know when you’re ever going to be ready for, you cut him off.

“Please don’t,” you tell him, and it’s said with a tone that’s clipped tight and with lips pulled into a straight smile—the kind where you can already feel the edges crack with every second that passes.

Kiyoomi sighs and stares at you, but backs down when he feels your body tense.

“I’m right here,” he reassures, as you cast your gaze to the side when you feel the sting in your eyes threaten to overpower you.  

“I know,” you reply and with that he turns and takes his seat again.

The two of you are facing each other when you have your fingers on your respective positions and bow hovered over the string. The metronome in the background ticks and you close your eyes desperate to slip out and slip in to focus. The disconnection almost happens automatically because as soon as you hear yourself verbally count to start, your hand with the bow twitches and—

“(Y/n),” Kiyoomi cuts off and your movements automatically halt. The tone of his voice is solid and just like that you feel yourself begin to crumble; still, you try to harden, anyway.

“What’s up?” you say and open your eyes to look at him. The cello you thought was resting between his legs is set down next to his chair and his bow is on the music stand; he looks at you—intention transparent at this point.

“I love you,” he says. “Please talk to me—“he pleads, but you cut him off.

“Omi,” you begin. “I know what you want to tell me and I know you mean well, because you always do. But please—“you pause and look at him with as much intensity as you could muster before continuing, “—let me pretend like today is just a day where we’re practicing for the concert she could have finally gone to.”

Across you, his body leans forward before eventually halting at the sight of you tightening your grip on your bow.

“Just let me pretend this is a normal practice and I’ll be home later with someone still waiting inside the house,” you continue, volume rising but resolve shaking.

“Please,” you finish before tucking the violin back between your chin and shoulder and raising your bow to signal the start. Kiyoomi relents with a sigh and picks up his cello and bow before looking at you.

“Ready?” he asks when his bow is positioned above the string.

“Always am,” you reply and close your eyes as you slip back in focus and feel the bow glide into the first note.

The first note is an A, so you place your fourth finger on the D string and slip into your empty realm with a vibrato.

A memory flashes; you’re in the sixth grade again. It’s September, and you finally make it home with your new violin case in hand. Your mom comes home from work and smiles at you as you point at the strings and name them in the order your orchestra teacher had you memorize earlier.

“This one’s the A string,” you say and you see her smile like she’s proud of you.

The next note makes you climb to the third position, and you could recall that the dynamic changes around this measure, so along with Kiyoomi you’re pressing a little harder.

“We learned the third position today!” you hear your own voice say. It’s your second year playing and you’ve made it to the honors orchestra. Your mom sits in the living room, watching you with a twinkle in her eye that tells you she’s more than proud as you show her the arpeggio practice you learned earlier that day.

The next few notes fly across the fingerboard as the familiar crescendo builds. The depth of Kiyoomi’s strings blends with the octave you’re playing at as you feel yourself being swallowed and wading in your thoughts deeper and deeper until—

You stop.

Because with your eyes still closed, you suddenly see her from the night before. Your mother with the glimmering eyes and fragile hands, wearing the red beanie she said was her favorite ever since her hair fell out. And your eyes are still closed when you hear her tell you that she’s proud of you, her voice bringing you back to that night where you wanted to do nothing more but let your defenses down.

So involuntarily you do; your eyes are still closed when you begin to weep, but you can hear movement from the background before you eventually hear Kiyoomi call, “(Y/n),”

“I’m sorry,” you say and frantically wipe away at the tears and cough out the cries threatening to overflow and spill.

“(Y/n),” Kiyoomi says again and you look up.

His chair is turned so that he sits facing away from you. Your forehead scrunches with the peculiarity.

“Kiyo-“

“Just let it out,” he says then picks up his cello and continues playing from the measure you stopped at.

Then you do.

Like a thread snapping, a cry rips its way out of your throat as you finally, finally allow yourself to feel the heaviness that’s long settled in your chest. Your violin along with your bow set on the floor as you crouch down and press the heels of your palms against your eyes.

It hurts, you realize, when every time you close your eyes you still see her. You still hear her tell you her goodnight stories, affirmations, and reassurances.

It hurts, because you’re tired. Tired of living in the world trying to be the adult you know you aren’t just yet. You’re tired of going home and smiling with her when you could tell the reason why she has tear tracks on her cheeks was because of the call with your father you overheard from the night before.

Because you’re angry, you think. You’re angry at her illness. At your father for leaving and giving the weight of being a parent and provider at the same time. At the fact that neither of you were ever vulnerable enough to even cry in front of each other, and angry at yourself for never having the courage to tell her that it’s okay.

Because all this time you’re been struggling. Struggling to try to always be an adult when you never closed the chapter of your childhood. That you’ve always struggled to push past every affirmation that you’re okay and every single one of those moments were just bouts of false confidence. And it’s exhausting to put up a front to your own reflection.

Even when nothing has really been okay. You’re hurting even more when you realize that so you clutch your chest and cry harder.

This must be the consequence of pride, is the thought that comes to your head. You could build the strongest walls and wrap yourself in the most intricate barriers just to act tough but in time, you will break.

Like now; you’re sobbing into your palms for the years’ worth of pain you let pride push away while Kiyoomi is climbing even higher than the strongest dynamic you know the piece calls for.

You know he wants to let you know that it’s okay, and that you’re safe. His message resonates in pure clarity as he pushes on the strings harder and harder to swallow the sounds of your cries.

His back remains turned as you look at him, still crying, while your thanks bubbles out as incoherent as your cries.

It hurts, because you the only person you’ve cradled in your hands to heavens far higher than the ones you’ve known is gone.  

You’re still crying and the pain in your chest is still stinging much like the pain from a reopened wound does, but you let him come to you as he lets you come to him in an embrace.

“Let it out,” he murmurs in your hair as you wrap your hands around his middle and cry into the fabric of his shirt. He’s probably a little uncomfortable at you sniffling right into his shirt, but the way his hands are rubbing circles on your back reassures you otherwise.

“You’re okay,” Kiyoomi says again and you cry harder because you want to believe him.

Five missed calls and seven texts messages all coming from Hajime lays unopened on your phone at 6:17PM.

-

“She asked me if I was happy,” is what you tell Kiyoomi as the two of you stand side by side peering over her casket some days later.

“Are you?” he asks and you smile at him in a way that tells him that at the moment you’re not.

“Will you be happy?” comes the question after that and you shrug.

The lines on her face are like always, and the mole between her brows look the same. Your mother lays still in the casket, cheeks pink from the blush they put on her and lips red. You think your mother’s friends told the funeral workers to paint them her usual color, so you’re thankful for that. She looks like she’s just asleep—and you don’t know how to feel.

You want to reach out and hold her hand but you know the skin will be stiff and cold; you don’t want to remember her touch like that.

To you, she’s still alive.

She always will be alive.

Kiyoomi’s hand grasps yours in a way that’s as gentle as his presence has always been. When you look up then right to meet his eyes: looking like warmth despite the depth that it has words rolling out of your lips before you could comprehend the situation.

“I will be.”

Kiyoomi smiles and you look back down without bothering to further explain your answer.

You know he always believes you. The sentiment is one you appreciate, but at the same time, you’re not sure if you even believe yourself at the moment. You have to be strong, you think.

And just like that your defenses climb back up.

-

Takahiro along with Issei make it to the funeral along with Tooru and Hajime skyping in from overseas. It wasn’t as awkward like you expected it to be, and you’re glad.

Tooru’s crying along with Hajime and the rest of you as you watch her return to the opened earth.

You’ve dried your tears by the time you face Tooru and Hajime on the laptop screen, the grief on their faces similar to the one on yours.

“(Y/n),” Hajime starts, and you nod, waiting for him to continue. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m okay,” you respond, gaze focused to the left side of the screen—Tooru’s side.

Even though all you could see was Tooru’s expression on the screen tearing up with yours, you ignore the telltale scrunch of Hajime’s forehead where you know confirms his disbelief over your words.

“I’m coming home next week. Got a job offer there,” Hajime’s voice cuts again and before you could respond Tooru’s voice thrums over the speaker as you feel Kiyoomi’s hand settle on your shoulder.

“You okay?” he asks you when you look up at him. Nodding your head, you shoot him a smile before turning back to the screen, one hand resting on top of Kiyoomi’s.

“This is Kiyoomi,” you introduce and feel yourself unintentionally holding in a breath as you sit and watch for Hajime’s reaction. He’s quiet; eyes steeled over and form rigid. Probably just a trick of the camera, you tell yourself, so you open your mouth hoping to find an excuse and end the call early but Tooru’s voice overlaps yours for the second time that day.

“Ahh! The boyfriend?” He asks and you smile as you see him leaning closer to his laptop’s camera. You had to hand it to him; you know that look. Tooru was someone who could craft a mask and uphold it for as long as he needs and every time it was flawless.

Which was why when Kiyoomi bows his head in a greeting and greets, “It’s nice to meet you,” in the tone he used with your mother, you know he hadn’t caught on to the fact that he was facing a façade.

“Likewise,” Hajime’s voice cuts through and you try to not shiver at the intensity of it.

“Let’s catch up when I get home?” he says again; this time, softer and you nod before you could think of a response.

“Take care,” is the last thing you hear from him before the camera on his side of the screen blinks back to black and Tooru’s face magnified and centered.

“He’s finally coming home, (y/n)-chan,” Tooru smiles and at the sincerity of his voice you smile along with him.

“He finally is.”

-

Hajime had always been, and always will be your first love. You found yourself choked up the second you see him wave at you from the arrival’s gate and you swore in that moment hugging him felt like coming home.

Which was because of nostalgia, you told yourself. There had been so many firsts and memories shared with him that you know just because you moved forward with your life—that didn’t mean you’d buried what you had with him in the past.

“Sakusa Kiyoomi?” he asks when you’ve settled in the grass next to your mother’s tombstone with him across you.

“Yeah, he actually played for Itachiyama back in high school,” you say.

“Volleyball player turned classical musician?” he asks and you nod with a resonating yup, your hand trailing down to the grass to pick on the blades aimlessly.

“He made it to nationals too,” you comment.

“Are you trying to just rub it in?” he asks and tosses some ripped grass your way. You move to the side and stick your tongue out at him which he laughs at. Hajime’s laugh reminds you of the summer afternoons in your childhood home where you’d chase cicadas and write memories in polaroids and you’re suddenly feeling nostalgic.

“Nah,” you say and smile as you look up at him. He’s facing his right and letting his eyes glaze over the gold paint of your mother’s name on the cement.

“I miss her,” Hajime whispers and you nod, your heart squeezing.

“I do too,” you reply and when he looks at you and meets your eyes, you catch yourself smiling because he has tears threatening to spill over the waterline too. “Every day,” you continue.

“You’re making me cry,” Hajime huffs and leans back facing the front after he wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“Your fault for still being soft,” you laugh. Unlike you, he’s always been the type to wear his heart on his sleeve.

“I’m sorry,” Hajime begins after the moments of recollection passes. You look at him and smile, not really sure whether you even have the desire to push through with the conversation or not. “Why are you even sorry?” is what you want to ask him, but you hear yourself say, “it’s okay, Haji,” instead.

“We could have made it,” he says again, his voice cracking as he looks at you.

“Could have,” you repeat and offer him a halfhearted smile at best.

“Do you regret us?” Hajime asks and he seems hesitant with his answer; like he doesn’t want to know your answer. You shake your head no as soon as you meet his eyes and reach your hands out in the space between you.

“Never,” you say and squeeze his hands when he takes yours into his own.

“You’re going to make me cry, again. Shit,” he laughs and this time, you laugh along with him.

The afternoon, despite the September air feels warm. Almost like the summer afternoons back home. So when you close your eyes, you let your defenses down as you imagine sitting in the garden: the one with the yellow and pink flowers, shouting promises in the air with Hajime and Tooru as the three of you let the wonder of childhood guide your idea of reality.

You decide that for just a while longer, you’ll keep those same defenses down as you feel Hajime pull you to stand up with him and face the open field behind the cross of her name.

“Wanna see if we can find cicadas?” he grins and you laugh, replying, “What are we, twelve?” as you follow him and break out into a run anyway.

It was in that afternoon that you realize, Hajime’s always felt like home. His presence always meant that your thoughts jumped back to the days where you watched his hair spike and grow like flowers from a garden blooming and wilting. To the days where talks of the future were shared over a dinner rolls and laughter. To the days where telling someone “I love you,” felt as natural as if you were just talking about the weather.

Hajime reminded you of losing yourself in the kind of love that felt unabashed and boundless. Like running on fields where the sun remained in the golden hour indefinitely. He was the first love you’ve cradled with a heart that was still a stranger to the ways of the reality.

“Are you happy?” he asks you when the sun above breathes the beginnings of a goodbye. You recognize the question your mother asked you before she passed and in that moment you close your eyes and envision yourself in a different year.  

“I am,” you whisper back earnestly and your heart flutters with every corner of the wall that crumbles down as you stare back at him.

He looks at you like he wants to ask a question but the thought of Kiyoomi flashes in your mind. Your eyes scan the flecks of emerald in Hajime’s as you close your eyes and feel yourself retreat along with the setting sun. The warmth in your chest remains as you think of Kiyoomi.

Kiyoomi who told you to let it out and let it go. Kiyoomi with the midnight eyes who spoke of the answers to the questions you have yet to discover.

“I have to be happy,” is what you tell Hajime again and the smile he gives you is soft. Like he wants to dive down your thoughts more but instead chooses to remain anchored outside your walls.

But you still lean into his embrace as he pats your shoulder when you tell your mother goodbye.

She must be happy, you think to yourself. Because today was an afternoon spent in the sun like she was alive again.

A text from Kiyoomi to you and one from Issei to his brings you back to the present. You wave goodbye to the photograph of her on the tombstone while Hajime leaves a yellow flower he picked under the sun by her name.

He smiles and you hear him say he’ll walk you home.

Your heart thrums; it’s almost like he never left.

-

Hajime won’t leave.

Despite your intention for him to not show up to your house being extremely blunt in your text message, he shows up thirty minutes after Kiyoomi’s parked into your driveway.

“Hajime,” he grins, introducing himself with a hand stretched out in greeting as Kiyoomi looks at it in contemplation. You watch the two of them, three feet away and anxious at their first time face to face interaction.

“Sakusa Kiyoomi,” your boyfriend says and reaches out to shake his hand. You could practically feel yourself sigh in relief.

“Haji, you didn’t have to come,” you say and shoot him a tight lipped smile. “Omi and I can handle the boxes, plus there’s not much left to pack up anyway.”

“So,” Hajime begins, turning around and blatantly ignoring what you just said. “Makki says there’s some heavier stuff in the attic? I can help you with that.”

Kiyoomi looks at you as you eventually sigh and nod at him to follow Hajime up into the attic.

-

For the rest of the day it went on like that. At every hint you dropped in regards to the lack of necessity for Hajime’s presence—he’s suddenly tuning out and changing the topic. It was like he couldn’t hear. You huff when Kiyoomi shoots you a look that hints his amusement towards your predicament.

Hajime’s time in California surely must have rubbed off on him.

“You two shared a lot of memories,” Kiyoomi comments after he sees Hajime point at a trinket and recall a story.

“We grew up together,” you reply and Hajime nods along with you, smiling.

“I knew she was gonna be a real one when she didn’t chicken out from catching cicadas with me,” Hajime laughs across you.

“You used to catch cicadas?” Kiyoomi questions, eyebrow quirking up. You had to fight the urge to smile at the way his two moles scrunched together.

“Used to,” you answer and grip the photo album in your hand before placing it into the box. It was one of your favorites, you remember. You spent your summer nights pasting stickers and writing captions into the photos your mom took of you, Hajime, Tooru and your dog. There were probably a few in there that were with her, but you decide you can put off the nostalgic trip for later as you shut the book and tuck it into a corner of the box.

“Sakusa,” Hajime initiates when the three of you stand back up, stretching then facing each other: Kiyoomi to your left and Hajime across the two of you. “Take care of her will you?”

“I plan to,” Kiyoomi replies beside you and you reach to squeeze his hand as you watch him offer Hajime a sincere smile.

“Can you give us a moment?” you ask Kiyoomi and he’s quick to nod.

“Thanks,” you say and lean into his kiss on your forehead before watching him grab the remaining box and make his way out the door.

Hajime stands in front of you with his hands shoved in his pockets.

“He’s a good guy,” he tells you and you smile gently, head nodding in agreement to his words.

“One of the best,” you reply, smiling.

“You’re happy right?” Hajime says more than asks, but before you could answer, he speaks again.

“I’m here for you, always,” he confesses quietly and you swallow thickly because you could already decipher the meaning behind his words.

“Who’s going to pull your scarf to remind you that it’s cold?” Hajime declares softly and you knit your eyebrows together as you tell him that you can do it yourself.

“I know you can,” he laughs and walks closer to you as he tugs off his own scarf and wraps it around your neck.

“I just like doing it for you.”

-

“Earlier,” Kiyoomi begins after he’s settled in the couch of your new apartment’s living room. You turn to face him, attention in focus then wait for him to continue.

“When we were upstairs Iwaizumi-san asked where you were moving.”

“Oh yeah? I forgot I didn’t tell him my new address, thanks for remi—“

“He asked again if we were going to be moving in together and I didn’t answer,” he swiftly cuts you off. You stare back at him, confused, then nod your head urging him to continue.

“I didn’t answer him at first because I wanted to see how he’d react.”

“Omi—“

“(Y/n),” he sighs. You blink back, confused.

“He still loves you.”

Kiyoomi says this like he’s just talking about the weather and because of that you’re suddenly aware of fast the room dipped into the newfound silence. Your heart hammers in your chest while you feel your hands curl into a familiar fist; fingernails automatically moving to dig into the flesh of your palms.

“Of course he does, I do too—“you reason, but his expression shifting has you revising your choice of words.

“I will always love him, Omi. Haji was my friend before he became anyone else,” you explain, softly, and reach out to take his hand in yours. He smiles at you and you mirror it, appreciating the way he didn’t pull out of your touch.

“Is that it?” he asks before you look at him, eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

“What else is there?” you laugh and shift your focus to his hand on yours.

“Are you really happy?”

“With this?” he questions again and sits up, taking both of your hands in his. Kiyoomi stares with baited breath, so when the silence buzzes in your ear even louder, you nod.

“With us?” Kiyoomi whispers and the echo it delivers rings loud. You hear his question ricochet from the walls to your ears over and over again while you stare straight into the plethora of questions he chooses not to vocalize manifesting themselves in his eyes.

Then, almost slowly, you nod. Because you are happy, though more so thankful. But that’s still happiness, the voice in your head reasons, so you relent and cup his face.

“You’re my blessing, Kiyoomi,” is the truth that’s spoken from your lips as you watch something living unfold in his.

“I love you,” is what he says and you nod, speechless, as he presses his forehead against yours because you feel everything in his words.

“Are you happy?” he asks again when you part and you smile, remembering your mother and Hajime’s words. The sentiment in his question is one of honesty, that in that moment, it suddenly fills you with newfound warmth.

“She asked me the same thing,” you answer, vulnerable. Kiyoomi always had a way that made it okay to feel vulnerable.

“Because I think she knows your answer,” he tells you quietly and what he says makes you think of his words.

“I’ll get there,” is what you planned to answer but before you could get the words out you’re suddenly widening your eyes as you see Kiyoomi shift and bend down on one knee in front of you, a ring in his hand.

-

Three years later | Italics in flashback

For the first time in your life everything felt connected.

From the pin that held your veil together, to the yellow and pink roses that bloomed along an aisle of white.

Everything felt like it was finally in place as Tooru took one look at you from behind the doors and teared up.

“Please don’t make me cry,” you tell him and smile as you loop your arm through his.

“This is payback for making me cry when you asked if I could give you away,” he laughed before dabbing at the corners of his eyes.

“Thank you, Tooru,” you whisper as he gives you one final look. The browns of his eyes reminded you that you are loved.

“Your mom would be so happy now,” is his reply as the doors open.

She would be happy, you think as you take one, two, then four steps forward as you grip your bouquet tighter. The pendant with her photo is surrounded in gold plating, and you find yourself thinking that nothing suited her better than gold.

To and for you, she had always been golden.

You feel Tooru part with you midway as he lets you walk the final stretch alone. It was supposed to be the other way around, Issei commented before, but Takahiro was quick to side with you and say it was fitting. Even if Tooru stood in your parent’s place to symbolize giving you away, a parent’s job is really just to walk with you to the halfway mark in life and let you walk the rest of the way alone.

You find yourself smiling at the memory.

The engagement ring on your left finger catches the light from the photographer’s flash as the first notes of a cello play.

“I would ask you to marry me but I know you’re going to tell me no,” Kiyoomi tells you.

“I don’t know you, yet, (y/n). But I know you just enough to know there’s some things you are choosing to not let go of.”

You watch him stare at you, eyes soft and understanding you’re suddenly overcome with the urge to cry again.

From the aisle, your eyes catch Kiyoomi’s as he stares back at you, beautiful and iridescent in the light. He’s always looked the most beautiful when he felt connected with music, you think. Much like now, as he presses harder on the strings and close his eyes to slip into the element.

“It’s okay,” Kiyoomi soothes, and reaches forward to wipe the tear sliding down your cheek.

“I don’t think I got to know you, just yet. I only saw bits of who you were under that exterior and neither of us know if we could work as well then if we lay ourselves bare now,” he continues and you nod, understanding his point.

“I love how resilient you are, (y/n),” Kiyoomi whispers and you smile because his voice isn’t cracking. He’s okay with this, and somehow, that lifts the heaviness in your chest. “I love how you never break despite the situation, but I’ve only known that side of you so far.”

“You deserve someone who’s seen you from the start. I can stay and we can work this out, but I don’t know if I’ll love you then. Iwaizumi loved you then and now, and I think you still do too. I could never take you away from that.”

“I don’t want to ask you who you are yet,” he says and you nod telling him you’re still getting to know yourself too.

“She’ll be proud of you regardless,” Kiyoomi finishes and with that you sob.

Kiyoomi opens his eyes and looks at you with a smile while he continues to play. Thank you, you mouth telling him, and he smiles as he plays harder.

“For what it’s worth,” you begin. “I know,” Kiyoomi finishes and the smile on his face is as sincere as his words. “Our time will always be a part in history that will be ours.”

You inhale, smile, and then cup his face in your hands. “It will always be priceless,” you add.

This was a piece you recognized from years ago, you recall with a smile. If you had your violin with you, it wouldn’t take much for you to remember the score and slip into a duet with him. The dynamics, you recognized too—and the way Kiyoomi’s playing only tells you he’s playing even louder.

Three years ago he played the same piece you would have played for the concert your mom would have finally made it to. The same day she died you sat in a practice room with Kiyoomi, crying your heart out as the he plays the same melody you’re walking to now.

Let it out, is what he told you and you did just that.

Let it go, is what he also wants you to know and you did that too.

All your life you’ve thought of love and thought it was lost when you lost her. Kiyoomi, you realize, is the love you were just beginning to learn. The love you’ve parted with before you tangled yourself in too deep; and perhaps in another lifetime you could chase each other bare bones and all, but in this life you know Hajime is the love you thought you closed the door to despite leaving it ajar.

One last look at Kiyoomi lets you see that he closes his eyes as you turn away and face forward.

And when you do, you see colors.

Green from his eyes, like the leaves on your bouquet and the grass outside your childhood home. A yellow flower pinned on his breast pocket; the color from the petals of a flower your mother loved to grow the most. Pink; like the color his cheeks turned into when you first shook his hand.

Then when he smiles at you—you feel a sense of home. When you see him begin to cry, you feel a sense of love that washes over you like the soft waves of the shallow end.

Steady, constant, and safe.

Love, like the words your mother wrote to you in a letter you discovered in an old journal. Where she wrote that even if she never had your father to love, she found her love in you. To be cradled in you so that was enough for her.

That she knew she was strong, but even more so because her strength was drawn from being with you.

Love, like the words from a friend as you remember Kiyoomi’s reminder that it’s okay to take that hand that just wants to pull you out of the deep end.

Love, like the awakening from the depth and seeing that Hajime is the hand that’s been there all along and you have yet to take.

Love, you remember like your mother’s voice.

Love, like the one that has been with you since the beginning. Because you were loved from the very start.

And Hajime—whose name spoke of beginnings.

for my mother whose love cradled me from the beginning. may you rest where the flowers bloom the most beautiful. i love you.

[tetsvya]

❛ in the middle of the night when the wolves come out, they head straight for your heart like a bullet in the dark. one by one, i gotta take them down. ❜

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷  mattsun is prepared to fight off anyone who attempts to steal your heart

➼ song! wolves - one direction

➼ pairing! matsukawa issei x fem!reader

➼ word count! 2.3k

➼ warnings! a lot of talk about murdering oikawa, inaccurate representation of how valentine’s day is celebrated in japan, not properly edited

➼ type! fluff, humor??

➼ author’s note! happy valentine’s day! (i am in fact, not late. it’s still the 14th in california). here’s a slightly inspired valentines matsukawa one shot. part of my haikyuu x one direction series!

Ten minutes into practice and nearly every member of the Seijoh Volleyball team has had the urge to murder their captain at least one. Iwaizumi looks as if he's about to succumb to that urge, if the deathly grip he has on the blue and yellow volleyball is any indication. Oikawa is either the most oblivious person in the world, or he simply doesn't care that his best friend is currently sending him the most malicious glare Kindaichi has ever witnessed as the younger boy switches his wary gaze from one boy to the other.

"And I just feel so bad, you know?" Oikawa continues to ramble on, sighing dramatically as he places his hand against his heart, "Who knows what my rejection will do to them? I wish I could say yes to all of them, but there's just not enough of me to go ar—,ow!"

Oikawa yelps in pain when a volleyball comes into contact with his head at full force, and Kindaichi glances at the vice-captain of the team to see that his hands are indeed, now empty. Oikawa seems to notice this as well as he points a finger at his best friend, "You're so mean to me, Iwa-Chan!"

"Shut up, Shitty-Kawa!" Iwaizumi shoots back, glare scolding, "No one wants to hear about all the Valentine's offers you've received!"

Oikawa huffs, crossing his arms over his chest as he turns away from his best friend, "There's no need to be so bitter, Iwa-Chan. And stop frowning so much, you're going to get wr—, ouch!"

Another ball to the head cuts Oikawa off once again, and Kindaichi wonders just where Iwaizumi had even gotten that one from seeing as the volleyball cart was on the other side of the gym. Iwaizumi begins to stomp his way over to where Oikawa is, and Kindacihi knows that it's very unlikely that Oikawa is going to make it out of this alive. Not exactly in the mood to witness a murder, Kindaichi searches the gym for the only person that seems to possess the ability of being able to stop Iwaizumi from ripping Oikawa's head off, but he's quick to realize that they are nowhere to be found.

"Hey, guys?" Kindaichi calls just as Iwaizumi snatches Oikawa by the collar, diverting their attention to him, "Where's Y/N-San?"

It seems as they've also just now realized your absence, and Iwaizumi let's go of Oikawa, taking a step back as he surveys the gym. When he comes up empty-handed, he turns back to them with a confused look, "I have no idea."

"I don't know either" Oikawa admits, which all three of them find odd. You always informed Oikawa at the very least if you were going to be late for practice.

"What's wrong?" Yahaba questions, Kunimi at his side, as the two stroll over to where the three boys stand, wondering why they're no longer practicing.

"We don't know where Y/N-San is" Kindaichi explains, and Yahaba's eyebrow shoots up. He has no idea either, now that he thinks about it.

"I saw her outside when I first came in" Kunimi speaks up, tone bored and uninterested, "She was talking to some boys."

His words seem to grab the attention of the rest of their teammates, the sound of shoes squeaking across the floor and balls being slapped across the gym coming to a stop as a silence falls over the gym.

"Boys?" Makki echoes, making his way over to the small group, Matsukawa at his side.

"Yeah," Kunimi confirms plainly, "Like five of them maybe. Some had chocolates I think."

"Chocolates?" Makki repeats once more, and Kunimi turns to him with narrowed eyes, annoyance seeping into his features at having to repeat himself.

"Yes, chocolates."

"She doesn't even like chocolate."

All eyes shift away from Kunimi and over to Matsukawa at the sound of his voice, the usual relaxed look on his face replaced by the smallest hint of annoyance. Oikawa raises an eyebrow at his expression before an idea pops into his mind.

"Well, it looks as if our precious Manager-Chan needs some saving" Oikawa states aloud, and Kindaichi finds himself cringing at his captain's words. He's sure you'd put Oikawa six feet underground if you ever heard what he just said. A mischievous smile plays at the corner of Oikawa's lips as he turns his body to face Matsukawa, making his way over to him, "Mattsun, go get her."

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm the captain and I said so."

"Since you're the captain, shouldn't you be the one to go get her?" Matsukawa argues back, narrowing his eyes at the boy.

"No, that'll never work" Oikawa shakes his head, waving his hand through the air as if he was swatting away the idea, "I'm too nice and approachable. But you, you're big and tough. One look at your face and those boys are sure to go running."

Matsukawa looks as if he's about to murder Oikawa.

"Yes, that look!" Oikawa exclaims, pointing as if the that scary glint in Matsukawa’s eyes isn’t currently directed at him, "Now, get going!"

"Screw you!"

"Matsukawa, can't you just go get her?" Iwaizumi joins in, sighing as he begins to rub at his forehead.

"Fine" Matsukawa sighs, pointedly ignoring the cry of shock that slips past Oikawa's lips.

"Why do you listen when he tells you to do it?”

Matsukawa opts to ignore the boy, turning on his heel as he begins to make his way to the exit of the gym. Oikawa's grumbles can be heard even from outside the gym, Matsukawa finds, as he steps outside and into the fresh air. A sigh slips past his lips as he begins to lazily walk around the perimeter of the gym, eyes peeled for your familiar frame. He really should have asked Kunimi where exactly he had seen you, he finds himself thinking. The thought is quick to leave his mind, however, when he finally spots you. But what he finds has him stopping in his tracks, eyes narrowing.

You're surrounded by a group of five boys,  a couple of heart shaped boxes clasped in your hands. You regard them with a timid smile, and each one of them is looking at you with bright eyes and variations of flirty smiles. In all honesty, they look like a pack of starving wolves, and you're the meat. The sight makes Matsukawa's lips turn down in distaste. What kind of idiots ask out a girl as a group? And on top of that, ask them out with chocolate when they don't even like it? Pathetic, he finds himself thinking, you deserve better. So when his ears pick up on parts of your conversation, he knows he has no choice but to intervene.

"So Y/N-Chan, we were wondering if you wanted to go out with any of us?" One of them finally asks, and the others quick to nod along.

"Any of you? Like, you want me to choose one of you?" You repeat dubiously, eyes growing wide as you find yourself a little startled at the prospect. They all wanted to go out with you, and they wanted you to choose who?

"Yeah," Another one of them confirms, smiling as he continues on, "We all like you, and we've already promised not to get mad about what decision you make. We'll be happy for whoever you choose."

"Oh," Is all you can manage to say, growing nervous under their expectant eyes, "Well-"

"Sorry boys," Your body jolts backwards as an arm slips around your shoulder, a body pressing against your side, "But she's already got plans with me."

"Issei?" You question, eyes wide as you turn to peer at the boy. You only manage to catch sight of the side of his face, as his eyes are set on the group of boys before you. They've suddenly grown awkward under Matsukawa's intense gaze.

"Oh," One of the boys blanches, cheeks red as he, along with the rest of his friends, actively avoid Matsukawa's eyes, "We're sorry, we didn't know you guys were a thing."

"We're—”

"Yeah, we've just been keeping it on the down-low, you know?" Matsukawa is quick to cut whatever you were planning to say off, a lazy smirk playing at the corner of his lips, "But now you know."

"Right, well, uh, we're just gonna go then" The boys are quick to scamper off, and all you can do is watch them helplessly.

"Oh, and by the way!" Matsukawa is quick to call out, stopping them before they can fully disappear from view, "She doesn't even like chocolate!"

They don't say anything more, but their walk is even faster than before. The sight makes you frown.

"That was kind of mean, Mattsun" You find yourself saying, feeling bad for them as you shrug his arm off your shoulder. Mattsun turns his attention back to you, and he's quick to follow after you as you begin to walk in the direction of the gym.

"What, you weren't actually going to go out with any of them, were you?" Matsukawa asks, finding himself dreading your answer as he trails after you.

"No" You're quick to deny, but then a sigh slips past your lips as your shoulders sag forward, "I mean, I don't know."

"You don't know?" Mattsun finds himself echoing your words, a sudden feeling of dread forming in the pit of his stomach.

"I mean, I guess it would've been nice to get out, you know?" You find yourself saying, avoiding his eyes as your gaze falls down to your feet, "Between school and managing the team, I don't really get much time to go out and just enjoy myself."

"Shit, Y/N. I'm sorry, I didn't think you were actually going to want to go out with any of them." Matukawa apologizes, suddenly feeling terrible. Sure, he'd rather much it be him to take you out, but putting his own selfish desires aside, he really just wants you to be happy, and he’s pretty sure he just screwed that up for you, "I can go back and tell them it was a joke, or-"

You're quick to cut him off, shaking your head as you hold onto his arm to keep him from going after them, "It's fine, Mattsun, really. It was probably a dumb idea anyway."

Matsukawa falls silent at your words, and your hand drops from his arm. A silence falls over the two of you, and Mattsun can't help but feel like the shittiest person in the world. He really, really wants to make it up to you. But he’s not sure if the only solution he can think of will appease to you. He figures it’s worth a shot.

"Hey, uh, Y/N?" He finds himself finally speaking when the two of you near the entrance of the gym, pulling your attention away from your shoes and over to him. He can't help but avoid your eyes, growing nervous under your stare, a feeling he isn't very familiar with. Especially not when it comes to girls, but you've always been different. The thought makes the tips of his ears burn, and he coughs awkwardly before he continues on, “I could take you out, if you wanted me to?"

You fall silent at his words, your feet no longer moving as you come to a stop. Matsukawa follows suit, also coming to a stop as he turns to you witch expectant eyes. Your lips are parted just the slightest and you blink at him a few times before you finally manage to find your voice, "Mattsun, it's fine, really. You don't have to. Just forget about it."

You move to walk past him, but Matsukawa stops you, wrapping his fingers around your wrist. You turn to him with wide eyes, and the nervousness he had previously felt is seeming to melt away as he finds himself saying, "What if I really wanted to? Go on a date with you, that is."

"You do?" You find yourself asking dubiously, eyebrows furrowed as you stare at him.

"Yes," His answer is almost immediate, and he can't help but smile as you look at him with those pretty eyes of yours, "I've wanted to for a while now."

"Really?"

"Yes," He nods, smile widening, "Really."

The corner of your lips slowly begin to curve upwards into a smile, until you can’t contain it anyone and you’re practically beaming at the boy before you, a sight that makes his stomach do flips and steals the breath from his lungs.

“Okay.”

_____

EXTRA:

"Am I a genius, or am I genius?"

"Shut up, or they'll hear you, dummy-kawa!"

"How about the both of you shut up, or they'll surely hear us!"

Kindaichi cringes at the volume of his teammate’s words, fearing that you really will hear them. The thought of you finding out that he, along with Yahaba, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Makki, are currently spying on you and Mattsun from behind the gym door scares him to no end. He can only imagine the earful they'd get from you.

"Guys" The fear of that very scenario happening is what prompts the first year to speak up, "Maybe we shouldn't be spying on them. Y/N-San will be really mad if she finds out."

"Nonsense," Oikawa waves his hands through the air, "She'll never find out."

"She'll never find out what?" All five of them freeze as they hear your voice. Hell, even Kunimi freezes at the sound of your voice, and he's not even remotely close to the door. They're slow to turn around, nearly flinching at the sight of your angered face. Matsukawa stands behind you, peering down at Oikawa with a smug smile and a knowing look in his eyes. One look at Kindaichi and you can tell he's probably close to tears. The sight almost makes your glare falter. Almost.

"Hey Y/N!" Oikawa chirps happily as if he's done nothing wrong, and his tone makes your eye twitch. Both Iwaizumi and Makki have to fight the sudden urge they have to smack him upside the head.

"Get back to practice, now."

The five of them are quick to scurry off.

[joyaphoria]

m for manipulative (5)

part five: got pizza money?

pairing: iwaizumi x f!reader, oikawa x f!reader

summary: going into college with your closest friends—oikawa and iwaizumi—at your side, life was really looking up. however, when three new girls come along with nothing but bright smiles and seemingly good intentions, you soon find out that not only are they a threat to your friendship, but to your life.

© 𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢​​

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“i understand, l/n-san, uh yes, y/n will b-be staying with—oikawa shut up!—with me tonight, yes. oh, yea—no, we were studying and didn’t realize how late it had gotten—yea, no, she has extra clothes here. okay, thank you.”

hanging up the phone, iwaizumi fumbles with his key, struggling to open his front door with oikawa tugging on his pants, and you drooling at his neck.

“iwa-chann! why can’t we go to my place instead! i have a-a um..” oikawa aggressively rubs at his eyes, trying to finish his sentence.

"fuck!” iwaizumi curses under his breathe and jumps when you chomp on his shoulder, causing you to fall to the ground. “shit! y/n.”

oikawa gasps, both hands over his mouth. “iwa-chan! did you just hit a girl?”

you burst into tears on the porch, and iwaizumi ignores you, finally finding the right key that fits into the slot.

“shh, if you stop crying, i’ll let you sleep on the bed.” he whispers, while oikawa stomps into the house.

your face lights up and you nod excitedly, wiping your fake tears onto the back of your sleeve. 

“iwa-chan! where all the foods?” oikawa yells from inside, and iwaizumi drops you again, running in after him.

“ooowww!” you hick, crawling into the house on all fours.

“stop yelling shitty-kawa!” iwaizumi thumps his back. “my parents are asleep.”

taking hold of the counter, you hoist yourself up, and lean on the island for support. “hajimee! can we get pizza?” you ask, your mouth watering at all the possible combinations.

“yes!” tooru tackles you in a hug, landing you once again on the floor. “pizza pizza pizza pizza!”

“you got pizza money?” iwaizumi arches his eyebrow at you two on the floor, shaking his head. 

“uhh..” you look at tooru, who was now laying on top of you. “do you?”

oikawa reaches back and rummages through his back pocket, before pulling out a small square wrapper. “no, but i have bubble gum!”

“what the fuck-” iwaizumi snatches the package from oikawa’s hand, his face contorted in disgust. “why the hell do you have a condom in your back pocket?”

“to have sex of course! silly iwa-chan!” oikawa giggles, and you laugh along with him.

“holy shit. thats it. everyone upstairs, now.”

-

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR?” oikawa screeches at you, wrestling to stay on the bed.

“GET OFF. GET, OFF!” you whine, tugging at his hair, and attempting to kick him off of you. “HAJI SAID I CAN SLEEP ON THE BED! ME! ONLY ME!”

you cry out when oikawa bites your cheek, having you roll off the bed.

“why would you do that!” you cry from the floor, rubbing at the teeth marks in your cheeks.

“you tried to shove your big toe up my ass!” oikawa sobs, crossing his arms and crawling under the bedsheet.

“i’m sorry tooru!” you climb back onto the bed, spooning him from behind. “don’t cry, okay? i was just kidding!”

“i leave for five minutes and you guys trash my room.” iwaizumi sighs, entering the room with two boxes of pizza in his hands.

oikawa’s mood is instantly lifted, jumping up and head-butting your chin. you burst back into tears when your tongue stings, a warm liquid pooling your mouth.

“look what you’ve done.” iwaizumi sighs, putting down the pizza on his dresser to help you off the bed. “let’s go rinse your mouth out.”

“iwa-chan! that sounds so dirty!” tooru points out, while hajime turns bright red.

“you wanna wash my mouth out, haji?” you wriggle your eyebrows, and iwaizumi fumbles over his words.

“n-no, i meant, like, it’s-it’s like—” frustrated, he thumps you on your head, and drags you to the bathroom. “just shut up.”

-

note: 

— oop i didn’t know meia had a dad

— ofc haji caved and bought the pizza

taglist: ​@thegreatikigai​ @fourcansofpringles @iicherrycore @elianetsantana @kissungjae @daphnxy @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @crackhead1-800 @meiankolia @thatprettybunny​ @4kaashl​ @rintarovibes @cloudsinthecosmos​ @ncthourss @pluviophilefangirl

[let-me-simp-in-peace]

A Little Extra Love (Atsumu x Reader) Oneshot

~

1:22pm

Atsumu & Oikawa

~

Oikawa: ATSUBABE

Atsumu: KAWA

Atsumu: What’s up?

Oikawa: I have a challenge

Atsumu: Another one?

Oikawa: SOUND MORE EXCITED

Atsumu: ANOTHER ONE??

Oikawa: ….I hate you

Atsumu: What’s the challenge?

Oikawa: You have to text your significant other in the group chat and ask if you’re unlovable

Atsumu: Huh? Why?

Oikawa: To see how Y/n responds! You said she’s always seemed distant

Atsumu: Well that’s true but..tricking her like that feels mean

Oikawa: Come on! If it goes wrong, just tell her it was a challenge!

Atsumu: …Fine

Atsumu: But if this goes wrong, I’m blaming you

~

1:31pm

In the ‘VolleyBROS & VolleyHOES’ group chat

~

Atsumu: Am I unlovable?

Hinata: What? Of course you’re lovable!

Yamaguchi: Where is this coming from?

Yachi: Are you okay, Tsumu?

Osamu: What happened?

Suna: Why are you asking something like that?

Sugawara: Did something happen with Y/n?

Atsumu: No not really

Akaashi: That’s not a definite no

Bokuto: Are you okay Tsum Tsum?

Osamu: @Y/n

Y/n is online

Osamu: What the fuck did you do to my brother?

Y/n: What?

Kenma: Back read

Y/n: Atsumu, why are you asking if you’re unlovable?

Atsumu: I just…

Atsumu: Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you really want to be with me

Y/n: Why didn’t you tell me you felt that way?

Atsumu: I didn’t want to bother you

Y/n: You’re never bothering me

Iwaizumi: I have to side with Y/n on this. She never stops talking about you

Kuroo: Yeah. Whenever she hangs out with Kenma and I, she talks about you nonstop

Kiyoko: She rants about all the cute things you do

Yachi: And works overtime for weeks in advance so she never has to miss one of your games

Sakusa: She even asked the team for advice on how to confess to you before you two started dating

Hinata: And she asked Bo-san and me about what you would like for a first date because she was afraid of messing it up

Yamaguchi: I got her a shirt for her birthday that says AtsuY/n Supremacy, and she wears it all the time

Atsumu: I’ve never seen her wear it?

Y/n: I wear it to sleep sometimes. I was too embarrassed to wear it in front of you…

Atsumu: You? Embarrassed?

Suna: Do you really not see the way she blushes when you smile at her?

Atsumu: I do that because I just want to see her smile back

Y/n: Your existence makes me smile

Sugawara: Bold Y/n is superior

Oikawa: Agreed

Y/n: Everything you are and ever will be is perfect to me.

Yachi: That’s really sweet

Y/n: Your sarcasm

Y/n: The fact that you never shut up during the movies

Kuroo: Calling him out I see

Y/n: How you complain about me hugging you but always pull me back if I try to let go.

Kenma: That’s? So? Cute? Like adorable

Hinata: Ikr

Y/n: The moments when you’re truly honest with me

Y/n: You’re insecurities

Y/n: Your fears

Y/n: Your achievements and your shortcomings

Sakusa: Are you just listing things for fun?

Y/n: I love you for everything that you are.

Atsumu: You do?

Y/n: I know I don’t say it a lot, but I do. Nothing in this world matters more to me than you.

Osamu: As it should

Suna: Samu pls

Yamaguchi: Stop interrupting the moment

Y/n: I’m not good with words

Bokuto: That’s true

Y/n: I can’t read the room for shit

Kuroo: She really can’t

Y/n: I’m not perfect

Iwaizumi: Who is?

Oikawa: Me

Sugawara: Not the time Kawa

Y/n: I’m far from it really

Hinata: She’s roasting herself?

Kenma: I think she’s getting to the point

Y/n: But every broken part of me loves you

Y/n: And that won’t ever change

……

Y/n: Atsumu?

Osamu: He’s crying

Atsumu: AMN NTO

Iwaizumi: So is Oikawa

Oikawa: TSOP EXPOAING ME

Hinata: If it makes you feel better we’re all crying

Yachi: Kiyoko i need a hug

Kiyoko: omw

Yamaguchi: can I say the thing now?

Akaashi: Please do

Yamaguchi: ATSUY/N >>

Bokuto AGREED

Kuroo: Double agreed bro

Suna: @Y/n come get your man. His crying is so loud

Atsumu: FUKC YUO

Y/n: Hey Atsu?

Atsumu: yeag?

Atsumu: *Yeah?

Y/n: Get cleaned up. I’m picking you up in twenty minutes.

Akaashi: I thought you only live like ten minutes away from each other?

Y/n: I’m picking up ice cream first

Atsumu: Strawberry?

Y/n: You know it

Y/n: Oh. Pack a change of clothes too. It’s late so you can just stay the night

Atsumu: Movies?

Y/n: Harry Potter or Game of Thrones?

Sakusa: Game of thrones isn’t a movie

Atsumu: Omi let me enjoy this moment

Atsumu: I vote Harry Potter

Y/n: Which one?

Atsumu: Half blood prince

Y/n: You literally hate that one

Atsumu: BECAUSE SNAPE DIES RIGHT AFTER THEY FIND OUT HE WAS A GOOD PERSON

Y/n: Then why do you want to watch it?

Atsumu: Because it’s your favorite

Y/n: ahguy YOURE SO CUTE

Kenma: I think you broke her

Y/n: Im fuen

Akaashi: You couldn’t even spell ‘fine’

Y/n: let me live kaashi

Y/n: Why don’t we watch Chamber of Secrets then. We both like that one.

Atsumu: Okay. When are you getting here?

Yamaguchi: Impatient

Oikawa: I would be too

Iwaizumi: You’re always impatient

Y/n: I’m outside.

Atsumu: I’m coming!

Kuroo: That’s what she said

Hinata: He said that too

Sugawara: Why are you like this?

Kenma: We’re ALL like this

Y/n: Like what? Dramatic?

Sakusa: You couldn’t leave without roasting us?

Y/n: I do it out of love

Atsumu: She does! The second I got in the car she said “Buckle up, bitch.”

Y/n: It’s not my fault you got in and said “Where’s the ice cream, scrub?”

Akaashi: How are you two together?

Iwaizumi: The same way Oikawa and I are together

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN

Hinata: And Yams and Tsukishima

Yamaguchi: I was gonna say he’s not that bad, but you right

Atsumu: AJHG Y/N JUST SAID SHE LOVES ME

Y/n: Why are you acting like I never say it?

Atsumu: You’ve only said it over text and call!

Y/n: Oh

Y/n: I’ll start telling you more often, honey

Atsumu: JGDSIHSTA HONEY

Atsumu: PLS ILL BE YOUR HONEY

Osamu: Simp

Y/n: stfu do you know how much I’ve put up with you ranting about Suna over the years?

Suna: I want to hear this story

Osamu: NO YOU DONT

Y/n: I’ll send it to you later

Oikawa: SHE REALLY SAID ‘IT’S ON SITE BITCH’

Y/n: No one calls my boy a simp except me

Atsumu: That’s me! I’m her boy!

Kenma: Guess he’s just gonna ignore that she called him a simp

Bokuto: YOU GO TSUM TSUM

Y/n: oMG if yuu could sae his faxe

Y/n: Hes bkushing si mucc

Atsumu: STOP RATTING ME OUT

Y/n: im gobna cri

Atsumu: IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY

Y/n: *Y/n has sent an attachment*

Hinata: HAHHABHA LOOK AT HIS FACE

Bokuto: HES SO RED

Sugawara: How is this so wholesome??

Atsumu: HSUT UOP

Y/n: I will when you can spell it

Atsumu: SHYT UP

Atsumu: SHUT PU

Atsumu: FUCK SHUT UP

Y/n: Atsumu Miya, ladies and gentlemen

Y/n: Well, I’ve got ice cream to eat, movies to watch, and a boyfriend to cuddle, so I’ll be going. See ya losers

Y/n is offline

Atsumu is offline

Iwaizumi: Always gotta throw in that last insult

[illyaana]

Squiggles - Oikawa Tooru

Thanks to @pocky-writes for this collab! It was so fun to do~ Check out all the other writers involved in the collab here ヾ(•ω•`)o

Tags: Oikawa's POV, Angst, Minor Fluff, Cursing, Kissing, SFW, Manga Spoiler (Oikawa and Iwaizumi's future jobs)

Synopsis: You entered Oikawa's life - and it hasn't been the same ever since. (If I give anymore, it'll be spoilers TwT) (I also named Oikawa's sis Miho-)

Word Count: 4334

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Liked my writing? Do you want a drabble specifically made for you about your love life with a character of your choosing? Check out my 50 followers event over here!

All stories are basically a squiggly line - it has ups and downs with multiple loops in random spots. Some parts might be thicker or shorter than others, but all points of the story make up a giant, huge squiggly line that either brings you joy or sadness. I wanted my story to be as thick and long as possible - to outshine all the other squiggles the world has to offer. It was going to be the best squiggle ever until you came along and made it loopier and uneven.

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I remember the first day you came into our class so vividly.

I had rushed to the school to copy Iwa-chan’s homework. The Kitagawa Daiichi blazer I wore was soaked in sweat thanks to me running a few blocks in several minutes. Of course, Iwa was in the classroom, waiting for school to start. He had rolled up his sleeves and was reading the literature component assigned to us - the very book I never touched ever since volleyball practices began.

“You are of a different breed, Oikawa,” Iwa-chan mumbled as he passed his book to me, “This is the last time you’re doing this.”

No, it isn’t.

“Yes, sir.”

I pulled out my book and began to move at top speed, hoping I would finish before class began.

That’s when you opened the door, breaking my concentration.

You were glowing. The school blazer seemed so big on you - as if someone with a bigger physique gave it to you - but you look so precious in it. You had a jump in your step, a wide smile plastered on your face. Your hair looked so soft even from a mile away. You seemed so at peace with everything - even when you entered a new school.

You carried yourself with such confidence it scared me.

I loved being the confident one, the hot one, the cheerful one - yet you stole those roles from me the second you walked into the school campus.

I didn’t know what I felt; was it inferiority or was it just pure admiration? Maybe a combination of both?

All of this… It was so new to me.

I was always surrounded by those who were eager for my approval - to be part of my posse and be connected to me in some way, but I just wanted to be around you. It was the first time I ever took an interest in anyone excluding my volleyball team.

It’s weird, isn’t it? The feeling of warmth rushing through your skin, but your throat just feels tight - it doesn’t want you to say anything you would regret, so it tries to hold you back. Your palms sweat and become clammy, goosebumps rise on your skin - it is so freeing yet restricting.

I wanted to come and welcome you to the school - maybe take you around the school grounds, show off a bit at the gym, find out who you are as a person - if I got lucky, even get your phone number.

“ ‘kawa, are they new? I feel like I’ve never seen them before…” Iwaizumi asked, pulling on my rolled-up sleeve.

Of course, this had to happen, didn’t it?

Iwaizumi tried to cover his red face with his arms, but he was failing miserably. His forehead began to sweat, a trail of water dripping down his chin. His chocolate eyes glowed just like your skin - so much so you could see the hazel flecks within them. His whole arm was covered in raised goosebumps, just like mine.

He was attracted to you.

“I think they are,” I replied, hiding my feelings with a smile, “Why Iwa-chan? Oh my god Iwa, you’re blushing!”

Iwaizumi threw a book to my face, earning a groan from me.

“Shut up, Shittykawa,” he says, blushing in a deeper red, “...but yeah, I think I do.”

“Well, if you want them to swoon for you just like how almost all the girls of the school do for me, I can help you. Just with the daily fee of milk bread during recess, I can turn your single ass into a full-fledged bachelor!” I say, trying to lighten up the mood.

“I'll buy you milk bread for lunch, either way,” he mumbled.

“See? It’s basically free, isn’t it? The best part of it all; it comes with a free gift! A box of milk every day so that you can grow taller-” Book number two found its place on my forehead once again.

“You’re such an idiot,” he says midst chuckling, “Thanks for the offer, Tooru. I think I’ll do this by myself, though.”

“Ok, then! Just so you know, the offer is always on the table,” I smirk, teasing the shorter male even more, “Don’t forget the milk.”

“I am never buying you anything ever again.”

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Classes went on as usual, but I couldn’t focus at all.

I kept on staring at you from my seat - enjoying every single thing you did. I saw how you’d raise your shoulders in frustration when you couldn’t understand a question, how you’d bite the end of your pencil when you were focusing on the class, how you’d play with your fingers when you were stressed - I was taking mental notes without even realizing it. I loved all the small little huffs you’d make when you’re agitated. Judging by how you were speeding through most of the questions, you seemed to be a smart student.

I kept on playing small scenarios that I would do to get your attention.

Maybe I’d ask you a question and act like I couldn’t understand the whole topic so that you could tutor me, or I should just ask you about your opinions on the essay topic we discussed in class, or I could tease you about that small thing you did in front of the classroom when the teacher wasn’t looking.

But I would never do that to Iwaizumi.

My mind replayed that small scene of him blushing just at the mere glance of you. If he could, he would’ve already gushed about you to me - tell me all the things I already knew just by looking at you. He’d go on and on about how you squinched your nose when you drank that hot drink a bit too early and burnt your tongue.

His squiggle was already slowly moving around you, making a loop fitted for you and you alone - and I will happily watch from the sidelines when you two finally become a thing.

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“Welcome back, Tooru!” My sister said from the kitchen, “Give me a minute, I’m helping mom prepare lunch.”

I placed my bag in front of my room and headed to the kitchen.

“Don’t make poison, please!” I tease her, enjoying the annoyed expression on her face.

“Tooru!” Mom sighed, “We’re inviting our new neighbors for dinner today. Go shower and get ready.”

I stuck my tongue out at my sister, earning an anger-filled hum from my mother. I ran to my room and soon headed to the shower to get ready.

Slinging the white towel on my shoulder, I head back to the kitchen area and set the table for the meal.

“Where are they from again?” Miho asked Mom.

“They’re apparently from Tokyo. The father passed away recently, so the mother had to bring the rest of the family to Miyagi to reduce the financial burden. Sad, isn’t it?” she replied.

“We should help them here and there,” Miho started, “We don’t need to give them money, but maybe help them get used to the city?”

I nodded, but I wasn’t present in the conversation ever since Mom mentioned Tokyo.

“Do they have a kid my age?” I ask, hoping that I’m wrong.

“I think there’s one that just transferred to your school?”

Please, don’t be who I think it is.

The doorbell rang, shaking me out of my thoughts.

I slowly headed to the door, gripping the doorknob tightly as I slowly opened the door.

I was right.

“Hello, Oikawa-san! It’s me, Y/N, from your class,” you said, a smile on your face.

“I just wanted to thank you and your family for your generous offer, but we can’t join you for dinner today,” you started, “Mom has to go get some things settled before she can come for dinner. Sorry, again…”

“What about you? Have you eaten anything yet?” My mom asked as she walked towards the door, “If you want, you can eat dinner here and bring some back for your mom.”

“Really?!” Your lips widened, “Thank you so much, aunty!”

You sat right beside me, just like Iwa-chan does when he comes over. I loved seeing you talk so comfortably with my family. I could see my mom’s adoration towards you when you talked about your life back in Tokyo. Your eyes lit up when you talked about your family - even if you were talking about your father.

You didn’t know it yet, but your presence makes my squiggle a little lighter.

“What school are you going to, Y/N?” Mom asked.

“I’m going to Kitagawa Daiichi like Oikawa-san. I am in his class, actually... “ you trail off.

“Do you want me to walk you to school? I don’t mind doing it, but Iwaizumi would be joining us too. Are you okay with that?” I ask, gripping the ends of my shirt.

For the first time in my life, I hated the fact I had to be beside Iwaizumi.

“Thanks, Oikawa-san. It means a lot,” you smiled.

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.

I regret asking you that question.

I had to see Iwaizumi try to flirt with you.

I had to see how you’d occasionally lean your head on my shoulder when we walked to school until Iwaizumi met up with us in the middle of our walk to school.

I had to see Iwaizumi carry your bag - something I wanted to do.

I had to see Iwaizumi make small jokes to you - something I wanted to do.

I had to see you enjoy Iwaizumi’s presence - something I wanted you to only feel for me.

I had to let it happen in front of me, didn’t I?

Books and movies never compare to the real thing; to see the person you love gush over someone you love like a sibling.

But you were closest to me, not Iwa-chan.

You came to me when you had problems, not Iwa-chan.

You stayed over at my place to relax, not Iwa-chan’s.

You watched movies with me, played games with me, told secrets to me - not Iwa-chan.

Your squiggle intertwined with mine more than Iwa-chan’s.

“Tooru,” you said as you played with the rogue strands of my hair as your head laid on my lap, “Do you want to go out on a trip?”

“What? Why?”

“We’re graduating, but we never had a trip together. It’s weird, isn’t it?” You say, slowly getting up.

I pushed your head back on my lap, earning a muffled squeal from you.

“It isn’t, to be honest,” I say, “...but I do like the idea.”

“So, we’re doing it?” you say as you wiggle your feet in excitement.

“Yeap. I’ll ask Iwa-chan if he wants to join,” I say as I grab my phone.

“I was kind of hoping that it would be just the two of us? I haven’t been able to talk to you without anyone intervening for a long time, and there’s a lot I wanna talk about.”

You looked at me, hoping for some reaction, but I couldn’t say anything.

If I was not friends with Iwaizumi, I would’ve said yes almost immediately.

I know I love you - ever since I saw you, I have.

But Iwaizumi deserves someone amazing like you.

I don’t.

“Tell me, then! I don’t think Mom’s coming home anytime soon and Miho is working right now, so there isn’t anyone who’d disturb us now,” I say through gritted teeth.

I felt your disappointment when you sighed and moved to lie down on my bed.

“I guess I’ll tell you another day.”

I felt your squiggle moving away from me - moving on without mine.

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Soon, our one-week trip to Tokyo began.

Thanks to months and months of pestering, our parents let us go by ourselves to the city you grew up in.

I could see everything in your eyes, thanks to your stories about this place. The small, quaint shops, the smell of freshly made Taiyaki at the side of the road, the small kids running on the pavement while being chased by angry parents - all of it.

“Oikawa!” you patted my shoulder, “That’s the bakery I talked about last time. You know, the one with amazing cheese tarts? Oh, that’s where my dad gave me my first cup of coffee!”

Iwaizumi chuckled as he focused on the road, admiring your love for the city.

“Why are you laughing, pine cone hair?” You tease Iwaizumi, trying to get more reactions from him.

“Nothing! You sound cute, that’s all,” he said as he focused on the road.

“Oh, really~?” You move closer to Iwaizumi and whisper something in his ear, making him blush instantly.

There it is.

That icky feeling I hate.

Why did it come now? I was with Y/N and Iwaizumi - the people I care about the most.

Go away.

Get out.

I don’t need you.

“Well, I’ll just chaperone Oikawa then, Hajime. Have fun all by yourself in a huge city you don’t know well,” you say, teasing him even more.

Hajime.

They said Hajime - not Iwaizumi.

“Geez, get a room, you two.”

“Sad I’m taking your husband away, Tooru?”

“The fuck, Y/N!” Both Iwa-chan and I scream.

You laugh as you lean back into the backseat.

“What? You both are an old couple,” you begin, “Oikawa is the flamboyant one and Iwaizumi is the man that’s only gay for Oikawa and actually thinks before doing something.”

“Did everyone think I’m gay for Oikawa?” Iwa says under his breath.

“Yeap,” you reply, “Many girls were sad, to be honest. I kept on telling them you’re straight, but they didn’t listen,” you shrug.

“And me?” I ask.

“You were labelled as the hot pansexual, lucky you,” you reply with an eye roll.

“Why did no one tell me…” Iwaizumi said to himself, worried.

“Honey~,” I began teasing the ‘pinecone’.

“Shut the fuck up, Shittykawa.”

“ ‘Shut the fuck up, Shittykawa’ - why don’t you give an actual nice nickname for the brunette over here,” you ask him, playing with the stressed driver.

“No.”

“Do it or I’m calling you pinecone for the rest of your life.”

“No.”

“Do it or I’ll tell them-” I say before getting cut off by Iwaizumi himself.

“Prettykawa.”

“Holy shit, Y/N,” I wiped my fake tears, “He called me pretty! Darling~”

“Oh my god, Oikawa,” you say, laughing as I hug Iwaizumi’s arm.

Our squiggles were intertwined and in a good way - that’s all that mattered.

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“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi looked at me with a serious face, “I think I am going to confess to them tonight.”

Wait, you are?

Please don’t.

Don’t take them away from me.

I need them.

Iwaizumi, please don’t.

“Finally! It’s about time you made your move - I think they like you too, so you have a shot.”

It’s true - I see how they stare at you.

Their eyes are filled with admiration, lips fixed in a soft smile, their hands grazing your cheek - they love you as much as you love them, Iwaizumi.

“Thanks for supporting me, Tooru. It really means a lot to me,” he says as he hugged me, “Thanks for being my best friend.”

I haven’t been a good friend, Iwa.

I fell for the same person.

I want to steal them from you so badly, but I can’t bring myself to hate you.

I want to hate you so bad, but I can’t.

This feeling… I hate it.

“Thanks for being mine, too.” I smiled, but the smile never reached my eyes.

You’re taking them away from me, Iwaizumi.

You could’ve gotten anyone else, but you took them away from me.

I don’t want to feel this - this hatred growing within, yet here I am, cursing you in my head the minute I see you.

“Go! Why are you wasting time?” I say, pushing you towards the door.

I saw the smile you gave me as you ran to her room.

You are such an amazing person, Iwa-chan.

You can care for someone who deeply hates you.

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I saw how they were basically draped around you for the next few days. They looked so happy just to be beside you.

Each day, their eyes spoke stories of love for you, Iwa. They used to come over to my place and gush about you every day, like a ritual.

You’re so fucking lucky, Iwaizumi. This isn’t fair.

They’d go on and on about your physique, your personality and the small things you’d do.

Congratulations, they finally paid attention to the things you did for them. I’m happy for you, Iwa.

I am happy for the two of you, truly.

They are truly happy.

I could’ve never done that - never.

I just wish I wasn’t walking towards the gym that day.

I saw your first kiss under that tree - the tree the three of us used to spend under while waiting for practice to start.

I saw how their hands gripped on the back of your head, pressing themselves on you. I saw how you gripped their hips oh so tightly as you showed them your passion towards them. I saw how breathless they looked the minute your lips left theirs. I saw how they grazed your chin whilst staring into your eyes in admiration.

I pictured how it would’ve been if I was in your position.

I would’ve held them tighter, pressed my forehead against theirs so that our noses would brush against each other. They’d play with the ends of my hair, going on and on about how soft each lock was like they usually do. They’d eye my lips as I stared at their soft and supple lips. I’d press the tip of my thumb on their bottom lip, enjoying the view of their parted lips made just for me and me alone. Slowly, I would kiss their cheeks, hoping for some cute reaction from them. From their cheeks, I would drag my lips to their chin, placing soft kisses here and there.

I would then press my lips against theirs, enjoying the soft noises escaping their lips.

But I never will - you’re theirs as they’re yours.

Of all places, why did you have to choose there?

I can’t come back here without thinking about that kiss now.

That icky feeling…

It’s back.

Go away.

Get out of me.

I am happy.

“Damn, Iwaizumi,” Matsun said as he approached the gym, “Y/N’s really in love with them, huh?”

“Shut it, Matsun,” Maki said, looking at me.

Of course, he’d notice.

I am in love with his friend's girlfriend, after all.

“What? He’s telling the truth; they’re so in love with each other they can’t even see that three people saw their first kiss!” I shouted, earning a growl from the black-haired male hugging Y/N.

“Out of all the times, Shittykawa…”

“You better run, he looks feral!” You shouted, laughing.

“You sure he wasn’t feral ever since he initiated that kiss? I saw that hand wandering, Iwaizumi~!” Matsukawa shouted as he ran to the gym.

“Iwaizumi isn’t innocent anymore. You aren’t part of the gang anymore man, stay back,” Hanamaki said, wiping a fake tear whilst gripping his sides, “You’ve grown up too quick, Iwa-senpai.”

“You okay, ‘kawa?” Maki said as he turned to me, rubbing my back.

“I am fine, Maki. Go ahead - go to the gym, I’ll come in a minute,” I gave him a nod as I walked to the toilet.

That day was the first day I cried over someone in school, and hopefully the last.

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“Tooru… Tohru…” You mumbled.

“Yes, my name is similar to the main character’s. What about it?” I sigh.

“We should get you a cat. Who knows, you might kiss it and it’ll become a girl?” Iwa chirped.

“That’s a cat version of Princess and the Frog,” I say, annoyed.

“Stupid,” you hit Iwa’s thigh, “Get with the program.”

Iwa groaned as he rubbed his leg, “That was really painful, dumbass.”

“Tohru, he called me dumbass,” you whined.

“I am not Tohru - it’s Tooru.”

“Brown hair, all of the people around them falling in love with them, high pitched voice… that’s you,” Iwa joked.

“Major flaw in your theory - I am not a girl.”

“Alternate universe Tohru then,” you said, enjoying the banter.

“Tohru plays with animals, I play with a volleyball team.”

“How do you know she isn’t in a volleyball team? It was never specified she isn’t part of a volleyball team.”

“It’s never specified that she is part of a volleyball team,” I say, clearly annoyed by this conversation.

“I’m getting you a cat - a ginger one,” Iwa said, grabbing his phone from the side table.

“Don’t get me a cat!”

“Get him a cat, love. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’ll love it,” you said, leaning against Iwaizumi’s chest to see his phone screen.

“Holy shit,” you said, holding back a laugh, “He’s actually looking-”

“Iwaizumi Hajime!” I scream, making both Iwaizumi and you laugh loudly.

“I was looking at a cat meme, stupid.”

I sign out of frustration and look back at the TV screen, avoiding the mischievous couple.

I eyed the way they were sitting on the couch.

You were seated in between Iwaizumi’s legs, their back pressed against his front. Their hands played with Iwaizumi’s left hand, fiddling with his fingers as they stared at the screen in front of them. Iwaizumi wasn’t looking at the screen though - he was staring at his lover who was fully immersed in the scene unfolding in front of them. His right hand grazed their right hand, enjoying the feeling of them comfortable in his arms.

You looked happy, and that’s all that mattered.

The last episode soon finished and you looked to the ceiling, stretching your neck.

“So sad it’s over,” you said, smiling.

“At least it had a good ending. I don’t think I need to remind you how heartbroken you were when we watching Banana Fish’s-”

“Don’t remind me - I’ll cry here and now.”

You got off the couch and walked towards the kitchen to get a drink.

“So,” you plopped on the couch, leaning against Iwa, “What’s the final plan, Mr Tohru?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your life after high school, of course! What’s the plan? I know Hajime is planning to be a trainer, but you never told me what your plan is.”

Hajime.

Hajime.

Hajime.

Again with the Hajime.

Just use Iwaizumi, for fuck’s sake.

“...Tooru?”

I snap out of my thoughts. “Oh.”

“You’ve been out of it recently. You’re okay, right?” You say as you walk to sit beside me.

I chuckle, looking at your concerned face.

“I’m good - just stressed about life, that’s all. I am not so sure as to what’s the next step, but it’s going pro.”

You hug me from the side, placing your head on my shoulder.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you, now? Aren’t you scared that you might make Hajime jealous?” I tease.

“I don’t know - I just feel I need to do this, like a feeling that you might do something rash.”

I felt tears wet the side of my shirt.

My eyes darted to the sight of you, sobbing, gripping on my shirt.

“Don’t you dare forget me, okay?” You say through sniffles, “I sure as hell won’t forget you.”

I cup your face in my hands, wiping off the trailing tears.

“I won’t.”

You made a huge loop on my squiggle, Y/N - I don’t I can ever forget you.

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TO: Y/N (2:30 a.m.)

It’s been so many years, Y/N.

You’ve blossomed into the amazing person I knew you’d be.

I saw Iwa-chan recently - after all, he’s training the Japan team.

I actually made it into a team - the Argentinian Volleyball team.

I kept on doubting myself, but you kept on reminding me of how good of a setter I was back in high school.

I know you’re busy being the big person in your industry - congrats on all the awards again, I keep forgetting to contact you.

If you’re down, maybe we can call? I miss your voice.

I sent the message, hoping you’d reply as fast as you used to when we were in high school.

I looked from the hotel window, trying to imagine how the scenery is back home in Miyagi.

The roaring fields, the birds flying in the sky as we walked down that small pathway, that traffic light you’d draw on while waiting for the cars to pass - I remembered it all.

I remembered it all just because you were part of it.

Funny, isn’t it? After so many years, I still think of you.

Not as my friend’s lover, but mine.

I shouldn’t have invited Iwaizumi to that trip.

I should’ve just kept you all to myself - protect you from the world.

I should’ve just kept Iwaizumi out of your life - not let him in at any point.

I should’ve just told him how I feel about you.

I tried so hard to get over you, Y/N.

I met so many other people, hoping they could fill up the hole you left when you left me for him. I had so many sour relationships just because I was comparing them to the rhetorical you that I dated. If the world had given me a second chance, I would be standing beside you - I would work to provide for you the best the world had to offer.

But in the end, your squiggle was meant to grow without mine. I had to accept it and move on, as much as it hurts.

Covid 19: Angst train :)

All reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated!!!

[crescentsteel]

To All the Boys I’ve Loved - The Popular Guy (1)

route: Tooru Oikawa genre: fluff wc: 3.4k

This is a collab from our server @babythotshq. 

Experience other routes here. 

Route masterlist.

For the last time, he took in the sight of the volleyball gym. This is the last day he’ll ever step foot in one again. He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of the place while reliving the memories he gained for the last three years. Training, wins, and losses – glory and bitterness, he recalls them all with no regret.

Yet, he found it best to leave the sport behind.

After having his fill, he turned around and found a girl waiting for him. At first glance, it looks like she’s going to confess. She had the look — blushing cheeks, starstruck eyes, and a letter, only it was not just one letter. She was holding one too many envelopes.

“Um. Oikawa-san?” 

He smiles, his signature one when greeting his fans, “Yes?”

She hands him a brown envelope that has ‘Oikawa’ written on it. He usually knows how to react to letters given to him. He’d be ‘happy and excited’ to receive them, but something tells him that this is not a usual letter. 

“It’s not from me, but uhh, can I have a photo with you?” Her voice was a pitch higher as she voiced out her request.

“Of course.” 

She took out her phone with excited hands and they both posed with peace signs. Before she gives him the envelope, she hurriedly gets a pen and scribbles something on the envelope. After she hands it to him, she bows and walks away.

He usually does not bother with fan letters these days. They say the same things anyways, just written differently. Yet, he has a strong feeling that he must read this letter. For the first time in a long time, he’s thrilled to open a fan letter.

When he gets home, he plops himself on his futon and carefully opens the envelope.

Hey,

I know this is weird since we’ve never talked except for that night but hear me out. I kind of like you, not in the sense where i know everything there's to know about you but in a way where if I see you at random times of the day, you just kinda lift my mood…

Maybe it's just because I find you inspiring? 

You were kind of an all around guy, super nice, with a fun personality to the boot. As much as I liked you, I envied you too. How could you make everything look so easy? As an overachiever who grew up burning her candles every damn night, you made it all look effortless and to add it all up, you didn’t even brag! How annoying you are. 

What’s even more annoying is that I can see your profile on magazine spreads and ads as if seeing your handsome face in school wasn’t enough.

I hate how it seems like something you’d do, yet at the same time, something you wouldn’t. Get what I mean? I thought your passion was for Volleyball, leaving modeling just as a hobby, but you do that exceptionally well too.

Indeed you were out of reach and definitely on another level.

Yet that night when I first got to talk to you on the farewell dance, you weren’t on another level. You were just you and it made me realize that maybe I should take a page off your book, “It’s all about a leap of faith, Y/N.” you said.

A leap of faith. Such words from a guy I’ve been crushing on wasn’t something I’d expect. I always thought you played safe, stayed behind safety bars but when I saw that dangerous glint in your eyes, I realized, you never did. 

You were always like that, people were just so caught up with the idea of the model/volleyball player with good grades that they never saw past that. They don’t think about the devotion and commitment you must’ve poured to be good at everything you do. 

I know I won’t be seeing you again and it’s kind of sad to be honest since you kind of brighten up my day but I’ll remember you, especially those words. Probably even buy a signed poster of you someday.

Take care always,

Y/N

Oikawa’s eyes remain at the signature of the letter with surprise and amusement. Y/N? The awkward, timid girl from the dance? He reads the letter once again just to make sure he’s read it right. 

He knows how popular he is, both in and out of school. He’s always approached by random people, mostly girls. Those who greet him and ask for pictures on the streets he immediately forgets. But the students, he somehow can remember their faces, especially when he sees them frequently ogling him at school. Being the captain of the volleyball team while working as a model meant having fans cheer for him on the sides. He doesn’t mind of course. He’s used to it. He knows how to smile for them, talk to them, make them like him even more. 

By the time graduation was just around the corner, the faces of his fans at school were already familiar to him. So when you talked to him at the night of the dance, he had question marks looming on top of his head. Prior to that night, he had no idea who you are. He hasn’t seen you around. He just knew you were in the same year with him because it was the farewell dance for the seniors. 

That whole night was tiring. If it wasn’t the girls asking him to dance, it would be students asking to take selfies and/or asking for his number. He’s used to the adoration and he loves it, revels on it even. But that night was on another level. They didn’t care about his personal space anymore. The dance was their perfect excuse to hog him. 

So when he had the chance, he escaped from the place and took refuge in a restricted area. The dance took place only in the school grounds, so they had closed off certain rooms for equipment storage and preparation materials for the party. He snuck into one of the rooms. He didn’t bother turning on the lights since he did not want anyone noticing that someone might be there. 

He took a seat near the windows and looked at the main grounds from that room. The bonfire was lit in the middle of the place while students frolic around, having the time of their senior year.

He’s always at the center of everything he’s involved with and it was fucking awesome. But sometimes, just sometimes, it gets a little bit too rowdy. Once in a while, It’s nice to sit out like he was doing now and watch from the sidelines as students like him have their moments like this. 

The door suddenly opened, much to his dismay. Was he followed? He made sure he wasn’t. He’s a bit ticked off. Some fans really don’t know when to quit. Maybe he’s been too generous to them.

He heard someone trying to flick open the lights, but the room still remained dark. 

“Huh? The lights aren’t working?” The stranger said. He stayed in his place, hoping that he wouldn’t get noticed and be left alone. Although, the chances of that happening is really slim even though he knows that only the silhouette of his back can be seen from the way he was facing the light of the bonfire. 

Like he predicted, you notice him not long after. But what came out of you wasn’t what he was expecting. 

“Hey! Students are not allowed here. Go back to the grounds.”

He turns around from his seat to look at you. You squint at him, trying to make out his face that was hidden by shadows. But he sees you, how you walked slowly to him so you can identify who he was and how your face contorted from strict to horrified. 

That’s a first. 

Even though you didn’t know it was him, you could at least be glad that it was indeed him. 

As you’re closer now, he confirmed that you weren’t one of them. You didn’t follow him. You found him.

“O-Oikawa san?!”

He executes his ever pleasant smile. “Hi! Do you mind if I stay for just a few more minutes?” Surely, you can give him that. You do know him after all. “Um, well... Students shouldn’t be here.” You responded hesitantly. 

He wanted to applaud you for refusing. It’s been a while since someone denied him of a request, especially a girl. Nothing he could do about it though. He’d rather just find another hiding place instead of convincing you.

He stands up and heads for the door when you suddenly block his way and wave your hands frantically. “Wait wait. Uhh. Err.” You look around as you try to search for the words to say. “Before you leave. Can I ask you something?” Your face is flushed red as you put your hands together and fiddle with your thumbs, obviously nervous about what you were going to say. 

“How do you do it?”

His brows knit together in confusion.

 You must have realized how vague that sounded since you spoke again. “I mean, how are you so good at everything?” The admiration in your eyes wasn’t like the one he sees from everyone else. It was one that showed respect, as if you recognize the hard work he’s put in everything he does. And for once, it felt like someone perceived him as an actual human being. 

“What’s your name again?”

“I-I’m y/n l/n!.” You said a bit too loud with a shaking voice. It was funny.

You must be part of the farewell dance committee since you seemed like you were about to get something from the room for the event. You’re also wearing the school uniform, unlike everybody else who’s dolled up. What a waste. You’re kinda cute.

You’re at enough distance for his arms to reach you and pull you closer. He grabs your waist with his left hand and holds your hand with his right, getting you in a dance position. Your eyes widen. The fluster in your cheeks goes a shade deeper. Your whole body becomes rigid while your hands tremble at his touch. He can literally see your chest rise up and down from breathing too heavily. He almost wants to laugh at your reaction. 

“Oikawa-san?! What’re you doing?” you whisper in a panicked voice. 

He really wasn’t sure, but he felt like teasing you. “We’re still part of the farewell dance, yeah? Indulge me and I’ll indulge you.”

He starts swaying slowly. You follow clumsily with that look of uncertainty and nervousness still transparent in your whole face. He wonders what’s going on in your mind. A lot of others had desperately asked him to dance with them, which he all declined because accepting one invitation meant accepting all of the others. 

But within the small confines of this dark room, he can do as he pleases without any regard to mindful eyes.

“Why aren’t you looking at me though?” You grimace at his question. “I’m not used to being this close to good-looking people.” You bluntly said, your expression is still of discomfort. You really are interesting despite the aloofness you show him. 

Still, you moved with him to the faint rhythm of the music outside. 

“How I do it, you ask?”

That’s when you meet his gaze, your eyes curious and attentive to the next thing he’s about to say. Your whole body loosens up, as if you forgot that he was holding you.

“It’s all about a leap of faith.” He was awaiting the look of puzzlement in your eyes. He knew how obscure his answer was. 

But it didn’t come. Your eyes retained the same inquisitiveness they held before.

“How can you sound so sure about something uncertain?”

Smart girl. You clearly understood what he meant. Maybe he can give you a real answer, one that he hasn’t said in any interview for it showed a dark side of him that doesn’t sit well with his image.

“Hmmm. Between you and me, y/n, when I hit something,” he dips his head just a few inches from your ear. 

“I hit it.. until it breaks.”

He felt you shiver at his words. Then he let you go and patted your head while you were frozen in place. 

“Nice to meet you,” he said while exiting the dark room.

After that dance, he never saw you again. He didn’t think much of it. If he’d be honest, it’s like it never happened. There were no traces, no witnesses, only you two in the dimness of that enclosed room. The exchange you had was just as brief as well. 

But your letter, it ties up with what little words were said between the two of you. The admiration is just the surface of it. Beneath that was perceptiveness, envy, and compassion. Four different things melded coherently to give a refined message of encouragement, all in the form of this letter.

He has to see you. The letter needs to be answered. 

Only then he realizes that you’re both senior students who already graduated. He didn’t even see you on campus as students. How the fuck can he even find you now that he has no chance of seeing you at all?

He quickly gets the envelope to see anything that might be a clue to how he can find you.

And there it was. A number written hurriedly at the edge of the envelope with a note that said ‘call me’.

The corner of his lips shoot up. He’s a hundred percent it wasn’t your number. It couldn’t be you based on how refined you wrote that letter. 

It was the girl from earlier, but he doesn’t mind. At least you’re traceable now.

—

He was able to get your number from your sister in exchange for a video greeting. Unfortunately, your sister was texting non-stop so he had to block her number after he got what he wanted.

He didn’t text you yet. First, he wanted to see the university you decided to go to. It was one piece of information he managed to extract from your sister. 

He’ll take a look around first. He wanted to see what uni life is like since he’s not going to attend one. He couldn’t tell if it was a busy day or there’s this many people on a daily basis. A few minutes of walking around and he could already hear the murmurs in the background. 

‘He’s so hot.’  

‘Does he go here?’

‘He looks like a celebrity’

Well, it couldn’t be helped. It was him, Tooru Oikawa. Even if they don’t know who he is, his looks attract attention.

Maybe he should’ve worn his cap and facemask. Admirers will just get in the way of seeing you. Maybe he’ll just come back later. 

He’s about to dip when two girls approached him. “Hi! Are you a freshman like us?”

Too late. He should’ve left sooner. When one comes, they’ll start flocking at him right after. Since he’s already caught, it wouldn’t hurt to accommodate onlookers.

“No, sorry. I’m just visiting someone.” He replied warmly. Another girl comes his way, followed by another, and another. Yep, just like he anticipated.

“You’re looking for someone too?” One girl asked, then her friend whispered something to her. It was supposed to be a whisper but it was loud enough for him to hear. “These hot men better not be looking for the same girl. I swear I’ll lose it if they are.”

He remembers the other colored envelopes your sister was holding. 

Ahh. So he was not the only one, huh? The original plan was there was no plan. He just wanted to see you again and talk about the letter. But based on what he heard, he has competitors now. 

That just won’t do. 

He tuned out the girly muttering and looked for a way to flee from the scene. 

Among the crowd he was attracting, there you stood, paralyzed in the middle of the path with your eyes expanded in horror. 

Great! He found you.

He filled his lungs with air. 

“Yahoooooo! Y/N!” He waved enthusiastically at your direction which caused everyone else to look at you. Instead of acknowledging him, you took a step back, turned around, and half-ran away. 

You really are funny if you honestly thought you could outrun him.

“Excuse me, ladies. That’s her I came to visit.” He hears the dejected groans but pays them no mind as he makes his way to you.

With his long strides, he didn’t really have to put as much effort in chasing as you did in running away from him. He’s impressed at your dedication though. You didn’t even dare look back. That’s good for you. At least you won’t see him right behind you already. 

He wouldn’t mind following you a little bit more just to see how long you can last before you turn your head back and check where he is. But he needs to be the first recipient of the letter who gets to talk to you. He has an idea to throw off anyone who could possibly be around, waiting for their own chance to go talk to you.

He picks up the pace just a little so he can close in on you. When you are within reach, he loops an arm around you which causes you to stop dead on your tracks. 

“That’s not nice of you, y/n. You heard me calling you.” 

You didn’t have to look at him. He knows that you know it’s him. You gulp before facing him. A terrified look spread on your face upon seeing his, verifying that it was truly him. 

You looked around nervously, assessing the situation you were in. You saw something that unnerved you, but he couldn’t tell what it was. You suddenly remove his arm, only to take his hands.

You spoke with a worried expression.

“Come with me.”

You drag him haphazardly, leading him somewhere in the university. He has no idea what’s running in your head as he lets you take him away. Though, he doesn’t mind. You’re essentially the reason why he came anyways. 

You reach inside one of the buildings with less people. Still on full alert, your eyes skimmed the area before going inside one of the rooms, pulling him with you. Once inside, you let go of his hand.

Without catching your breath, you yelp at him. “Why are you here?!”

He reaches for his back pocket and takes out the brown envelope. “Cause of this.” He smiles sweetly while he waves the enclosed letter at you, then puts it back to where it came from. “Your sister’s a real gem for going out of her way to give it to me,” his statement drenched with irony. 

Instead of answering him, you walked three steps away and faced the wall. You softly knock your head against the wall, looking down as you mutter, “What did I do to deserve this?” Followed by another knock, “What did I do to deserve this?”

Before you can do it the third time, he moves toward you and places his back hand where your forehead is supposed to hit again. You look at him distressfully, not removing your forehead against his hand. “Why are you here?”

“I just told you why, Y/n-chan.”

You stand up straight and sigh wearily. “I mean why even bother? I’m sure you get tons of those on a regular basis.”

You were right. Among other letters, he only read yours. Even though you didn’t intend to send the letter, he thought you’d be at least glad that he went after you. Instead, you were questioning his decision of doing so. Not once in any of your limited interactions had you agreed with him. 

He really just wanted to talk to you, initially at least. But you prove to be more and more entertaining that he’s about to do something totally abrupt. 

He supports his weight by leaning his elbow against the wall where his hand is. He slightly tips his head to the side as his smile veers from pleasant to haughty.

“I bothered cause I want to ask you out.” 

Route masterlist.

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