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padfootagain · 3 months ago

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Love in Verses (VIII)

Chapter 8 : I hope she never learns how to peel oranges

Hi! Here is another chapter! A bit of time spent with friends who have very good advices to give!

I hope you like this new chapter! Tell me what you think!

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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so no minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 2518

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

Oranges

I peel oranges neatly.

The sections come apart cleanly, perfectly in my hands.

When Emily peels an orange, she tears holes in it.

Juice squirts in all directions.

“Kate,” she says, “I don’t know how you do it!”

Emily is my best friend.

I hope she never learns how to peel oranges.

Jean Little

Six months.

You had six months before the wedding.

You had feared that Samantha and Frank would rush through their ceremony as much as they had rushed through their engagement, but a call from Frank was now indicating you the precise date for the festivities. May. A ceremony in Spring.

You had six months to destroy their wedding and make them see reason…

You drank a gulp of your coffee, waiting for your best friend to join you for breakfast. Siobhán had arrived the previous day in Dublin, you had spent most of the afternoon and evening crying in her arms and telling her all about what had happened. Her response was first to insult Frank and his ancestors all the way through five generations, then help you get absolutely trollied, and finally to offer you her help in your devilish plan to get the man you loved back. A real best friend behaviour…

Now, you were waiting for her to wake up, as she was staying at your place for the couple of weeks she was in Dublin. Your coffee was growing cold already in your hands, you winced at the taste but drank it anyway. Not long ago, you thought everything in life was smiling at you, that the sun was everywhere. Now, your luck seemed to have run out, even your coffee didn’t have your back anymore…

“Ouch… my head… God, remind me never to get drunk on cheap tequila again…”

Siobhán let herself fall in the chair next to you in your kitchen, making you chuckle as she rubbed at her temples, trying to cure her hangover. All she managed to do though was to hide her face behind her bright auburn hair.

“I assume you don’t want to eat anything…” you mumbled into your mug, and the choking sound your friend made was answer enough.

“Please, have mercy on me.”

“How come I’m the one with a broken heart and yet you’re the one who got so badly hammered last night?”

“I need to make you feel sorry for me so you’ll feel less miserable about yourself.”

“How generous of you…”

“I know, my altruism shall be my doom, one day…”

She turned to you then, growing more serious.

“Are you feeling better though?” she asked with genuine care and worry. You gave her a weak smile.

“Yeah… you’re helping.”

“Good…”

“I need to get ready. I’m meeting up with Andrew this afternoon. Now that we have dates for the wedding and parts of the preparation, we need to start planning what we’ll do.”

“So… you will really carry on with that plan?”

You frowned at her.

“Of course. Do you have a better idea?”

“No… I don’t. But it still is a bad idea.”

“I know that it sounds kind of crazy but… then again, I don’t have know what else I could do. I don’t have anything left to lose with Frank, so… might as well try, even if it’s madness, even if it fails…”

“…Even if it’s highly unethical.”

“I swear to God, if you start talking philosophy now…”

“I’m a philosopher, that’s what I do…”

“I’m talking to my friend now, not the professor.”

“Right… it still sounds like a terrible idea.”

“Last night you were ready to help!”

“Oh, I will. Even though I’m not sure how I can help. I will, because I don’t see any other way to support my friend in need.”

“Thank you.”

“But’s it’s a terrible idea. Christ, Y/N… Frank is an asshole! He left you after years of relationship, while he was engaged to you, for another woman he proposed to on a whim… he’s a gobshite. Leave him be! Get over him! Have incredible sex with another man!”

You chuckled at that.

“I’m setting you up on Tinder!”

“Absolutely the fuck not! If you do it, I’ll never talk to you again!”

Siobhán threw her phone on the table, defeated.

“And this… Andrew is ready to plan all that with you?”

“It was his idea.”

“Two lunatics for the price of one… Is he handsome at least, that colleague of yours?”

“Siobhán!”

“What?! All I’m saying is that… you are both single now! Both grieving long-term relationships that ended in betrayals… Some good sex with a handsome chap would definitely help you relax…”

“I am not going to sleep with my colleague.”

“You’re asking yourself too many questions.”

“I’m not! You’re just insane! I’m not going to sleep with Andrew!”

“Why? Is he ugly or something?”

“He… that is not the point.”

“Oooooh… so he’s handsome, then? How is he?”

You cleared your throat.

“Tall,” was the first thing that came to your mind, before you silently slapped yourself for answering.

“How much?”

“I don’t know… above 2 meters…”

“What?”

“Yeah like… 6’6’ or something…”

“Wow…”

“Yeah.”

She pulled out her phone while stealing a gulp of your coffee and wincing at the taste of the cold liquid.

“What are you doing?”

But she didn’t answer your question. Instead, she kept on typing on her phone. And then her eyes grew round.

“Wait… you said… Andrew Hozier-Byrne, right?”

“Yes?”

She turned the screen towards you. She had searched for his picture on the university website and was now showing you a picture of Andrew with his long curls let loose on his shoulders, a shy smile adorning his lips, his glasses perched on his nose and wearing a black turtleneck. He was posing in front of a tree on the grounds of the campus.

“That guy?!” she insisted, and you nodded.

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“Him?”

“Yeah.”

“And he’s taller than the Empire State Building too?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, he’s very tall,” you nodded.

“You need to ride him.”

“Siobhán!”

“Y/N! He’s gorgeous! He’s single! What are you waiting for?!”

“I don’t want to sleep with Andrew, I want to have Frank back!”

She rolled her eyes, looked at Andrew’s picture again.

“Well… I would like to investigate if all parts of him are… proportionate, for sure…”

“Siobhán!”

“Hey, if you’re not interested in him, I can be!”

It was your turn to roll your eyes.

“Whatever you say…”

She stared at you for a moment, silence filling up the empty space of your kitchen, only disturbed by the rhythmic sound of the rain outside.

“I just want you to be okay,” she spoke in a tender voice, and you nodded.

“I know.”

“Do you really think getting Frank back would make you happy?”

“I do. I have to try.”

She heaved a sigh.

“Alright, then let’s look at that schedule of yours. We need to make a plan. I don’t trust either of you to make it work!”

“Hey!”

“Y/N, you’re not petty enough for this. And that guy looks like a sweetheart. A tall, handsome sweetheart. But I am fucking evil when I want to be. So let’s get to work, and fuck up that wedding!”

“So… that’s your new colleague?”

Andrew nodded, suddenly longing for a cigarette, even though he had quitted smoking years before. A side-effect of stress and a growing depressive state. He didn’t yield to his urge though, merely kept on staring at his ceiling as he laid on his sofa, legs dangling over the edge, idly petting Elwood.

“She’s hot,” Alex stated, looking at your picture on his phone. He had googled you and had found your profile on the university website.

“Alex…” Andrew rolled his eyes.

“What? She is!”

“I’m in love with Sam. And I forbid you to sleep with my colleague!”

“Why not? If you’re too depressed to get laid, I certainly am not.”

Andrew glowered at his friend, lounged in his armchair.

“Alex…”

“What?”

“Just… don’t joke about that.”

His friend raised an eyebrow at Andrew, the ghost of a teasing smirk on his lips.

“Alright… back to your stupid plan then?”

“Do you have a better idea?”

“Not really, no.”

“Then help me.”

Alex grew more serious, his gaze softening as he looked at his best friend.

“Have you already thought that maybe… this was for the best? Maybe you deserved better than Sam?”

Andrew snorted.

“Yeah… very funny…”

“Andy…”

“I love her…”

“But she doesn’t love you enough, Andy. You’ve got to stop thinking that she’s too good for you, she isn’t! You’re a good guy, you’re smart, you’re not too bad-looking…”

“Thanks,” Andrew mumbled without being able to refrain a chuckle.

“I’m serious. You’re not a bad person, you’re not unworthy of being loved for who you are. Sam is grand, but… you could have better than her. You could have someone who cares more deeply about you, who supports you more, who would let you love her the way you want to be loved…”

“Christ… since when have you become such a shrink?”

“Andy…”

Alex heaved sigh, sat straighter in his armchair.

“I just mean that… I know what’s going on in your head. I’ve known you long enough to know what you’re doing right now. And it’s not helpful. It’s not helpful, and it’s actually dragging you down. Sam is grand, for many reasons. But perhaps you were simply not meant for each other. You could fall in love again, you could have someone better, someone who will love you better than she did…”

“She did love me!”

“I know she did. But she also pushed you away time and time again. She never showed up for your accomplishments, she never tried to support your career as a poet, she never came to one of our gigs…”

“She’s not interested in poetry or music.”

“And I hate cinnamon rolls, but I still ate them when Charlie made them for me.”

“So… I should move on as successfully as you’ve moved on from your ex, whom you haven’t been able to forget after two full years?”

He saw Alex clenching his jaw, his gaze saddening. Guilt came to gnaw at Andrew’s heart the second his words passed his lips.

“Sorry… that was uncalled for. I’m just… I can’t move on. I don’t want to move on. I don’t want better or worse than Sam, I want Sam.”

Alex heaved a sigh.

“Alright, so what’s the plan?”

“Y/N and I are going to work together to make Frank and Sam see that they’re acting stupid, bring them back to their senses.”

“Perhaps they’re not acting crazy…”

“They’re engaged! After one month together?!”

“Yeah… that does sound quick.”

“I know that… Sam and I were going through a bit of a rough patch. I know that we were drifting apart a little when she left. But we weren’t strangers to each other either. We weren’t… it wasn’t that bad. I still loved her, we were still seeing each other, we were still communicating and reaching out and… I didn’t think it was too bad. I was tired… I was frustrated with my writing…”

“Your writing?” Alex interrupted his friend with a frown.

Elwood shifted from his spot on the floor, getting up to rest his head directly on Andrew’s stomach. He looked at him with a soft black stare that made Andrew’s heart melt, and he resumed petting his dog’s head.

“I haven’t been able to write a single line in six months.”

“Wow… that’s… long. Especially for you.”

“Yeah… I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t write a single verse.”

“What does Caroline say about this?”

“She’s a very understanding agent, luckily. She’s not pressuring me yet. She’s giving me time and space.”

“So, you didn’t tell her it was a complete drought, but just a slow episode.”

“Of course, I’m not suicidal… yet.”

They exchanged a smile, but there was sadness in both of their gestures.

“I don’t know why I can’t write anymore. And it scares the shit out of me, Alex. What if I can’t be a poet anymore? How am I supposed to say what I need to express then? Will it come back? I couldn’t be a musician, what if I can’t be an artist at all?”

“No, Andy, you’re not a fraud, stop it,” Alex interrupted his friend, knowing where this conversation was heading. “And you didn’t become a musician because you chose not to have the lifestyle that went with it, because you chose to study and write instead, and be there for your family when they needed you. You had the talent for it, though. You still have. I’ll hire you if you want to finally drop out of college!”

Andrew laughed at that, brought back to those college days when he had met Alex, when he had hesitated to quit studying to get a proper chance at singing. But instead of accepting some studio time, he attended his exams, passed his classes, changed his major the next year to head towards literature and poetry. And music remained a passion, a hobby, while words became his life…

“How is your band doing, by the way?” he changed the subject, feeling too vulnerable and guiding the conversation on his friend instead to release the tension that was making his body ache. Elwood could feel it, the way Andrew was in pain, he was rubbing his snout against his human’s stomach.

“Good. We’re doing a few festivals, we have some gigs planned over the next couple of months, mostly around Cork.”

“That’s nice.”

“You could come.”

“And miss torturing my students with essays?! Nah…”

“You could avoid the grading.”

“That is a strong argument in your favour.”

“But don’t drag the conversation away from the crisis at hand!” Alex admonished his friend. “What is the plan then? About Sam?”

“We have the date of the wedding, and Frank and Sam have reached out to Y/N and I to get some help for like… dresses, cakes, planning stuff… Sam asked me to sing.”

Alex let out a wry, astonished chuckle.

“So, the woman doesn’t give two shites about your passion for music and poetry, but the second she needs a musician she comes running?”

Andrew glowered at his friend, but he couldn’t deny his words. He had thought them first, as soon as Sam had asked him to sing. She had never cared about his artistic endeavours, never read his poetry, even though he wrote about her; never gone to see him play, even when they were young. Although, it wasn’t quite true. She had come once, at the very beginning of their relationship. She thought he had talent. She was bored though, even if she tried to hide it. Andrew had not asked her to come again, had merely told her that she was always welcome to any of their gigs, but she never offered to go see him again.

And it was such a cruel demand too, so insensitive, it didn’t sound like her. Maybe her own excitement was blinding her, making her selfish. Whatever it was, Andrew could feel tears rising at the mere thought. Elwood moved to rub his head all over Andrew’s chest.

“Anyway, we’ve got to plan our next move.”

“Good luck with that…” Andrew nodded. He reckoned he would need luck, alright…

#andrew hozier byrne #hozier #the hoziest #hozier x reader #hozier x you #hozier x y/n #hozier x fem!reader #hozier professor au #hozier au #hozier fanfiction #hozier fic #hozier fanfic #fanfic #writing #fic #hozier series #series

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unholyhelbig · 3 months ago

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Obsessed obsessed obsessed with Firecrest 🥺

Title: Firecrest (Part 2/???)

Read Part One

Summary: Kate Bishop and y/n have an unspoken agreement that revolves around being enemies with benefits. But when Kate's new mentor is someone Y/n is very familiar with, things become complicated.

Warnings: Parental abandonment, horrible parenting, slight mentions of blood, reader has villain tendencies, and horrible grammar because I never proofread!

[A/n: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'm honestly really digging writing it. If this is something you guys would like me to keep going, I'll do my best. Just let me know!]

Main Masterlist | Read my stuff on AO3 | Leave Requests

A sting worked its way through your knuckles before dissolving into a dull ache at your wrist. Sweat had started at your hairline and the small of your back before soaking through the wicked fabric of your tank-top. You could feel your shoulders cramping up. But, you’d stopped crying an hour ago. You feared that if you stopped assaulting the punching bag, then the tears would spill over again.

Lance had told you to take it easy. Your ribs had been bruised after the situation you’d left the benefit for. While you were grateful, said distraction packed a punch and you’d taken a swift kick to the gut and the side of a fire escape digging painfully into your side. It took everything in you not to throw the low-level criminal onto the pavement below.

Instead, you’d cuffed him and left him there until morning, or until law enforcement showed up. You were projecting, you were sure. But if your mother looked at you with pity one more time, you would have shoved him to his certain death.

You’d gotten out of the house and came to the boxing gym. The owner had given you your own key and it gave you enough privacy. If you had any tears left, you’d be able to shed them freely. You clenched your eyes shut and threw a solid round of punches, a scream of anguish ripping through your throat.

Two more hits and the bag became stagnant. Not the same, rocking defense that you’d been punching. You were used to the rhythmic sway and your eyes sprung open at the change in density. You’d ripped a bag before, sand spilling onto the floor.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” You shouted, taking a step back. Kate Bishop was on the other side of the bag, holding onto it with a concerned stare on her features. Her annoying perfect features, despite the late time of night. You panted. “Shit.”

“I called out, but you didn’t answer. I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m sorry.”

She released the bag and it swung back and fourth between you both. The chain that attached it to the ceiling squeaked in a rusted effort. Her stormy eyes flicked up nervously and then back to you. You knew that Kate used to come here with her father, her biological father, but you weren’t aware that she had the same key privileges as you.

You worked a hand through sweat-soaked hair and closed the distance to the side of the boxing ring. You used your teeth to pull open the plastic nib on your water bottle, soothed by the cool swallows. Kate watched you carefully. Her eyes roamed over your form, coated in sweat and toned from years of physical exertion.

You couldn’t stop your shoulders from trembling. Violent attempts from your body to assert it’s emotions. You could give in, and you could do so easily. But you would not. Not with Kate Bishop relinquishing her hold on the punching bag that you’d nearly turned to a pulp of sand and shredded upholstery. This wasn’t your dynamic. This wasn’t how things worked.

It was easy to take a lot of things that Kate was willing to give; a ride home from the gym, a doll that matched hers when the two of you were young, soft touches and harder thrusts. But one thing you refused to take was her pity. It leaked from her expression like a broken faucet and for some reason, that angered you.

“What are you doing here, Kate?”

“I came here to work off some extra energy. What are you doing here? I figured I wouldn’t see you for a few more months after you left the benefit early like that.”

“There was no reason for me to stick around.”

The answer fell from your lips in a deadened, emotionless tone. She clenched her jaw and then unclenched it, mulling her thoughts. There was an apprehension to her stance, even as she closed the distance between you both. She stopped just short of your fingers twitching to press against her hip, holding her in place. You lifted an unimpressed eyebrow.

Another swallow of now-warm water seemed to stop the uncertainty of your movements. You hoisted yourself onto the edge of the ring with a sigh, pressing your fingertips to your temples. Kate moved silently and leaned next to you. The quiet she offered was something you took, just like everything else.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Kate asked softly. You looked at her in confusion, lilting your head to the side. “You watched me fawn over Clint Barton for years. I had his posters in my room, and replica’s of his bows, and every news story ever written about him cut out and saved in a shoebox.”

“Because he’s important to you, Katie.”

“He’s your father.”

“He’s not.” You snapped. It was harsh. You forced yourself to relax, softening your voice. “He’s not. Lance is my father, and Clint Barton is far more important to you then he is to me.”

Kate swallowed thickly and hoisted herself up next to you. Her heat was overwhelming you with comfort. You didn’t have it in you to figure out what that meant, past your petty rivalry. She smelled of fresh detergent, of the winter air that clung to her so heavenly.

Her hand tentatively moved to your knee, and you didn’t stop her. You were still trembling and stilled at her closeness. “I’m not going to see him anymore.”

“Kate,” you chuckled sadly. “He’s your hero, and he trusts you enough to take over the Hawkeye name. You can’t throw that out because of his choices, and you certainly can’t throw that out because of me. We hate each other, remember?”

A look of sadness flickered momentarily against her features. The two of you had been in a constant head to head race to prove yourselves since you were young. Kate always came in first, and you had settled with second place; in school, in sports, in forced family outings. It used to end in toe to toe screaming matches.

But, the two of you were older now, and all that built up tension was easily released with stripped clothes and thrown around insults that did nothing but stir the excitement in your gut.

Being a hero was the only thing you were better at, than Katherine Elizabeth Bishop and you were sure that was about to change with Hawkeyes diligent teaching. Lance and Bobbi didn’t need the glory that came with being an Avenger- no, they kept the secret in the term secret agent.

“Right, of course.” She sounded out, nudged you with her shoulder. “But… you can still talk to me.”

You leveled her with an unimpressed stare. Despite her suave playboy attitude that infuriated you, Kate Bishop was not subtle when she wanted something. She chewed her bottom lip, both of her eyebrows raised in an adorable attempt to ease your nerves.

“Right, you’re right, sorry.” She moved to push herself off of the mat, but you wrapped your fingers around her wrist and gave it a tender squeeze. Kate froze in place before scooting back up, even closer this time. Her words reduced to a whisper, as if trying not to scare you off. “Okay.”

“Do you know what Terrigen crystals are?”

“We learned about them last semester, inhuman history. It’s a catalyst chemical that binds with red blood cells that are receptive to change.”

“Impressive.” You gave her a wolfish smile. “When I was growing up, my mom gave up her solo-agent status and conceded to joining a team, and one of their first missions together was to find, and retrieve these Terrigen crystals, the only ones in the entire world. They were meant to contain them, and nothing else, but things rarely go as planned.”

You were sure that Kate knew about the broken crystals that had leaked into the push and pull of the ocean. Fish naturally consumed the microscopic agent and soon, the Terrigen properties were distributed throughout the world commercially. Coulson had called it untamable. You remembered the fear in his eyes, and you had squirmed uncomfortably in the same Inhuman History class a year back.

“The day that things changed, my Aunt Daisy was in solitary confinement in the team’s underground bunker. My mom was busy running tests on her blood after she’d been exposed to the chemical agent. I knew how to stay out of the way, but happened to be in the lab with her when everything started to shake.”

“Shake?” Kate quirked a brow.

You nodded “The Terrigen crystal gave Daisy control of vibrational forces, but none of us knew that at the time. We just knew that something was wrong. The shaking startled everyone and my mom, she grabbed every Terrigen crystal but one.”

If not for Jemma, if not for her quick reflexes and wrapping her arms around Bobbi, sending them both from the lab before activating the safety seal, then neither of them would have made it. Indigo mist rushed from the shattered crystal and you remember the acrid floral taste that coated your lungs. It suffocated you.

“The last thing I remember about that day is my mother sobbing. She had both of her hands pressed against the glass surrounding the lab. She wailed like I wasn’t coming back, like she had failed me.”

Kate whimpered your name “Y/n,”

A tear drop hit the collar of your shirt and wicked nicely with the drying sweat. You used the base of hand to delicately wipe the rest away and came to the startling realization that Kate Bishop was one of the only people who had ever seen you cry.

“Everything went dark, then. I remember this hot, prickling feeling and it was hard to move. And then there was nothing. I know now that it was some… some type of cocoon of dirt and stone, but it crumbled away easily when the Terrigen had taken it’s effect.”

“That must have been scary.”

“Terrifying,” You let out a watery chuckle. “But in the end, I was in the best place possible for something like that to happen. I was surrounded by people who cared about me, who loved me, and who could teach me how to control the fire that’s always just below the surface.”

You pulled one knee to your chest and leaned your cheek against it, keeping a steady eye on Kate. She was already watching you. Fingers toying with the small brass zipper of her sweatshirt. She looked beautiful in the dimmed lights, and being this close, stopping to talk to her, had given you an even view of her freckles.

“Clint was on a mission in the Baltic Sea with Natasha, or at least, that’s how my mom tells it. Point is, he wasn’t there and even when he did return he took one look at me in solitary confinement and packed a duffel bag. There were arguments, I’m sure, but I wasn’t privy to them.”

The last time you had seen your biological father was when he knelt down at the sealed doors of the lab. His hand was massive compared to yours, it looked unnatural and alien when he pressed it against the glass. There was a finality in his stare. He’d called you Sparky, and you’d giggled like it was the funniest thing in the world.

You could see the turmoil in her stormy gaze. There was the sense of betrayal there, and the quiet contemplation of someone who had just found out the reality of their hero. Clint was her everything, her mentor, her teacher. He was the father figure she needed, and that was a clear line drawn in the sand.

Kate’s cold touch against your cheek, hot and tinted red from your earlier exertion, pulled you from your thoughts. Pity had replaced any semblance of anger she held onto. A whine moving involuntarily past your lips. You hadn’t realized how desperate you were for someone to touch you. For Kate to touch you.

Your relationship with the archer had never been any more than a succession of first and second place. A deadly dance that had culminated in open mouthed kisses and wandering fingers. This was one of the few times you’d had a serious conversation with her, a raw one that exposed wounds.

“I’ll do it,”

“Do what?”

You were hopelessly and pathetically lost. She smiled at that, an animalistic grin that often fell over her when she knew she was winning. You’d seen in countless times and couldn’t quite remember when it stopped annoying you and started turning you on.

“Pretend that we’re a couple,” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, dropping her hand and hopping off the edge of the ring. You missed her warmth, but it didn’t last for long. Kate was suddenly posted up between your legs, her arms draped over your shoulders. She was so close you could smell the mint on her breath. “To piss off Clint.”

Your hands naturally found her hips, not daring to squeeze them, “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“First of all, you didn’t ask. You saw the way Clint reacted to us sleeping together and your instincts to make him angry kicked in. Secondly, I already told him we’re dating. I have way too much talent for him to drop me as a protégé just because I’m banging his estranged daughter.”

“Wow, you have such a way with words, Kate. Really, I’m just fawning over you here.”

She rolled her eyes, but you couldn’t stifle the phantom of a smile on your face. No one had ever offered to do something like this for you before. Especially not someone this close to the playing field. People had called you a freak for most of your life, an inhuman disaster that had a hot temper.

The anger you could control. It was the intensity in which you loved that got you into the most trouble.

Footfalls echoed against the rain-soaked streets of the city. A deep burn resonated within your chest, sweat forming against your collarbone and dripping down the small of your back. You’d never seen the benefit to tactical suits in the summer. They kept heat in like no other and by the time the night was over, your entire body ached.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You’d lost one of the targets. It wasn’t something you’ve done in years, but your mind was admittedly somewhere else. You hadn’t gotten much sleep in the past week and it was showing in your sloppy work. Your mother had given you a worried look that only lasted half a second before you’d taken off.

The man you were pursuing was faster than you anticipated, but it wasn’t hard for you to catch up. You never understood why people ran into alleyways. They’d most likely lived in the city for their entire lives and knew that most of them ended in construction zones, or the end of a brownstone.

His chest heaved as he felt the wall behind him, turning and pressing his back against the wall. If he was desperate enough to run, you knew that he didn’t have a plan past this.

The tactical suit came with a few benefits that staved off the discomfort. While your mother preferred her staves, you had always leaned more towards a quarterstaff, a hot, reactive, type of metal that would glow a dangerous neon orange at just your touch.

It extended with a mechanical whir, your head tilting to the side. “Dude, really?”

“Look, I’ll never do it again!” His voice cracked like he was adolescent, but the beard that splattered the bottom half of his face betrayed the effects of his fear. “Just let me go, please.”

You closed the distance that lingered between you both, using the end of your staff to push up his chin. Your voice leaked with mock sympathy “Really? You promise?”

Half of his face was dripping with the blue dye from an exploding pack in a bundle of bills. His hands were coated entirely, the lapels of his shirt smeared from his lackluster attempt to wipe away the pigment. The man nodded vigorously.

“Oh, thank God, that’s a relief. I really thought I was going to have to take you in. The nearest station is eight blocks south and that would be a load of paperwork.”

“Yeah, yes, a lot of red tape” He shakily replied.

You slammed the quarterstaff into his gut. His breath left him, curling into himself as he fell to his knees. In the same moment, an arrow whizzed past you and lodged into his shoulder. His exhale of air turned into a scream of pain.

You groaned and pinched the bridge of your nose. The fletching was a dark purple, almost black under the light of the moon. Telling the difference between Clint’s arrows and Kate’s hadn’t become an issue until now. Knowing that he was in the same city as you made you feel ill.

“I had that!”

The staff retracted and you attached it back in place on your belt. So, what if you liked to play around with the perpetrators every once and awhile? You did good work, but there were long and deep lulls of footwork in the hero business.

Clint stood at the mouth of the alleyway. His stance was shadowed with the concise way he carried himself. You couldn’t tell if he was alone or not, but didn’t get the signature winter scent from Kate’s presence.

He strode up to the target, pulling the arrow from his shoulder with a gentle tug. He put it back into it’s quiver as if it wasn’t slick with blood. Clint cuffed him, dragged him into a sitting position by the arm. You watched his languid movements with a resentment you didn’t know you harbored.

“Yeah, it looked like you had it, Sparky.”

“I told you not to call me that.”

His blue eyes flicked down to your hands, watching for any signs of a dull glow. He didn’t’ find any. You balled your fists and clenched your jaw. You didn’t owe him anything. Tonight, he seemed to be approaching you with contempt, now that his initial shock had worn off.

Clint clearly didn’t’ know how to handle you, or the giant emotional elephant in the room. It was nearing midnight and there was a storm brewing, you could smell it. The last thing you wanted to do was stand by the dumpsters and discuss your feelings, so you started to walk away.

“Kid, wait. I’m approaching this all wrong. I’m sure you had it handled.” His words didn’t stop you, but he jogged to catch up and fell in step. You glared at him, shoved your suddenly cold hands into the pockets of your suit. “We need to talk about Kate.”

This stopped you in your tracks. He wanted to talk about Kate. All these years separated, living completely different lives and he wanted to talk about your fake girlfriend. “Okay. Yeah. Let’s talk about Kate.”

“You can’t continue to see her.”

You stopped, standing in front of him with your arms crossed. He had a few inches on you, but you carried his stance. One of the only things other than his stubbornness that you had inherited from him.

“I’m sorry?”

“Kate is persistent, I’m sure you know that. It took months of her poking and prodding for me to even agree to take her under my wing. She’s a good archer, but she’s reckless, thinks too much with her heart and not her brain. She can’t afford to have distractions right now.”

A brick dropped in the pit of your stomach. The flames seemed to lick viciously at your pulse points. But, you swallowed it back and let out a sad laugh. “You don’t think I’m good enough for her.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Didn’t have to, you did all the talking when you walked out on me at eight years old. Then you come waltzing back after years of building the family you wanted. The family that wasn’t filled with freaks.”

“Y/n, I don’t-“

“Because that’s all we ever were for you.” You growled at him. “the accident was just the excuse you needed to leave, and you’ve spent your time trying to make up for it by parenting every single stray that shows up on your doorstep expect for me.”

He was rendered silent, something that Clint rarely was. He opened his mouth and closed it again, a few times as if he was a fish out of water. You were breathing heavy, the words stinging your throat. You’d been harboring that for years, burying it deep inside. He’d tripped the metaphorical wire.

When he did find his voice, it was cracked and morose. “Okay. You’re right, you’re right.”

“I’m… right?”

He nodded sadly “I haven’t been fair to you, or your mother. I was a different person back then. I just don’t want Kate to get hurt, and I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.”

A step back from him seemed to clear your mind. For a moment, you wanted to crash into his safe embrace, to breathe in the scent of his aftershave. He was your father, your biological father, and despite it all, you were drawn to his kindness.

You swallowed back the lump in your throat, mouth tasting of metal and bile. “You’re afraid of me, Hawkeye. You always have been.”

“That’s not true” He said it weakly.

“It is. You wouldn’t have run the moment I became different if you weren’t.” another step back and he didn’t’ dare to follow you. You vowed not to cry in front of him, or about him. Not now, and not ever, but you couldn’t stop the tears from streaking your cheeks. “You don’t have to worry about Kate Bishop. She can take care of herself. And so can I.”

#Kate Bishop #Kate Bishop x reader #Kate Bishop x y/n #Kate Bishop x you #Kate bishop x reader #Hawkeye #Hawkeye fanfiction #Marvel #Marvel Fanfiction #hurt/comfort #Ask #bobbi morse #lance hunter #mockingbird #clint barton #Reader has fire powers

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dark-frosted-heart · 4 months ago

Text

Roger Barel Main Route - Chapter 4 Premium Story

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

For as long as they live, humans will carry many sorrows and regrets in their hearts.

But many can go about their lives as if there’s nothing to worry about because they try to forget the pain in their hearts.

Because they face it and instead, try to think only happy thoughts—

Kate: I’m…frustrated…by how weak I am.

Roger: Last question. Kate, what do you want to be?

Kate: I…

Roger digs out the sediment that’s piled up in my heart.

Emotions that I’ve held back this whole time gushed out like water overflowing from a broken faucet…my ears burned and tears began spilling down my face.

Kate: Strong…I want to be strong. Because I…don’t want to hate myself. Besides…life’s too long to live in despair.

Roger: …O_O Pfft, hahahahaha!

Kate: Eh?

He suddenly burst into laughter and I just stared with tears.

Roger: It’s nothing. You just look so cute talking while crying so hard. C’mon, show me more of that.

(Just a second ago you were listening to me in earnest…!)

Kate: Laughing at someone while they’re crying is so inconsiderate!

Roger: Sorry, sorry, don’t get mad. You’re cute.

Kate: Cute?

(Geez, what was that just now!)

(Persuasion? Brainwashing? Roger got me to speak my thoughts, but…)

Even I wasn’t naive enough to be manipulated by superficial words like “cute”.

Kate: That doesn’t make up for the fact that you were laughing at me!

Roger: Haha…You’re not convincing anyone with your barking when your face’s all wet from crying like a baby.

Kate: I wasn’t crying like a baby. I was weeping.

He laughed again at my response.

Roger: Alright, I get it. As a reward for your honesty, I’ll help you fulfill your desire to be stronger. Kate, do you know what’s the most important part of fulfilling your desires?

(It’s unfair that he’s looking at me with serious eyes again…)

Kate: What?

Roger: Forward planning and setting goals, or making a roadmap. By the way, a roadmap represents progress.

(...Somehow we’ve become business-minded)

Roger: So I thought up the “robin growth map”.

Kate: …Growth map.

(I don’t trust it)

Roger: What’s with that unamused look? I took a page out of Victor’s book because I thought you’d cry with joy.

Kate: It felt out of place coming from you. But thank you for trying to be considerate. So, what is this “robin growth map”?

Roger: You’re my dogsbody* now

Kate: Even though it’s true…I hate hearing you say it.

Roger: When I think you’re growing into a stronger, better woman, the map will gradually advance. In other words, you’ll rise to another level.

Kate: What do you mean…level?

Roger: Simply put, the 5 levels are dogsbody* -> pet dog -> assistant -> partner -> lover.

Roger drew a stair-like diagram in the air with a hand.

Roger: Of course, this will include generous step-by-step guidance from yours truly.

(In other words, Roger’s going to make me a stronger, better woman?)

Kate: I think the growth map will definitely be effective because having goals is good. But I don’t get how the last level of lover is related to getting stronger…

Roger: The answer’s simple. It’s because I like strong, good women who can think for themselves.

(So it’s just his preference?!)

Kate: That’s one-sided! Why should I grow into your type of women? Besides, if I do grow into that kind of woman…you falling for me would be a problem!

His eyes narrowed suggestively at my assertion.

Roger: Oh? Why would me falling for you be a problem?

Kate: My goal is to safely complete my job as Fairytale Keeper and return to my old life. I have no plans on falling in love until then.

Roger: You’re so serious. It’s simple. If you did grow into a strong and good woman by following the robin growth map, I’d be so in love that I’d want to call you my lover. But if that time comes and you have no feelings for me, then dump me.

Kate: Huh?

Roger: Wouldn’t it feel better after I’ve pushed you around for so long?

(W-well…)

To be honest, it’d be refreshing.

Kate: I…think so.

Roger: You can brag to Crown that you’re a strong woman who dumped me.

(brag…)

Victor: To make Roger beg on his knees, what a magnificent Fairytale Keeper you are!

Elbert: …Cool.

Ellis: Are you happy now that you’re a stronger, better woman?

(What do I do. That actually feels kind of…I mean really good…)

Kate: That sounds really…great.

Roger: Kate, are you gonna do it or not?

Kate: I’m gonna do it! I’ll follow the robin growth map to get stronger.

Roger: Mm, nice answer. Then it’s settled.

(If I work hard hard until Roger recognizes me as his lover, then I’ll have become stronger than I am now)

(Hm? Wait…)

~~ Flashback ~~

Roger: However, I believe that romantic love doesn’t exist in this world. What you call romantic love’s just a dysfunction of the brain or a misunderstanding caused by sexual desire.

~~ Flashback end ~~

If what Roger said was true, then Roger would never have romantic feelings for me.

(How can I get recognized by someone like that?!)

Kate: Hold on! I can’t agree to being recognized by you.

I grabbed Roger’s arm as he was about to walk away.

Roger: What’s up? You agreed just then, but now you’re going through a rebellious phase?

Kate: Roger, didn’t you say the other day that romantic feelings don’t exist? How can I get recognized by someone like that?

Roger stroked his chin as if realizing the contradiction.

Roger: You do have a point.

Kate: And I finally got motivated. So I can’t accept unattainable goals!

Roger: Oh, are you gonna teach me about romantic feelings then?

That smile was really provocative—

(Huh? Damn it…)

I realized I fell into his trap.

But—

Kate: Okay. I’ll teach you what romantic love is!

My competitive nature overrode the intimidation from Roger’s provocation.

Roger: Hmm, you’re confident that you’ll make me fall for you.

I was regretting my words when Roger’s grin deepened.

(This man’s really…)

The image I had of Roger being a sensible, mature older brother completely crumbled into dust.

Kate: N-not like that. Just how love feels…

Roger: Same thing.

The grin on those wicked lips deepens more.

Roger: You’re gonna prove to me that romantic love exists? Sounds fun, I’m in. Since you brought it up, you can’t take it back.

Kate: Of course I won’t. A woman doesn’t go back on her word.

Roger: Hmm, good. I like confident women. Oh, right. I’m known for being a gentleman and kind. I’m gonna give you a useful tip since you’re gonna teach me about romantic love. Lend me your ear.

I hesitantly moved closer and he placed his lips by my ear.

Roger: I love crying faces. Yours is no exception.

Kate: W-what are you talking about?

When I thought he was getting closer, a rugged hand grabbed my chin.

Kate: Roger, please let go of me…!

Roger: Not gonna.

I couldn’t even close my eyes with how close his face was.

Even with his lips coming closer, I kept my eyes open.

Kate: Ah…

I couldn’t help but let out a small cry and tense my shoulders.

Because I felt a soft touch near my eyes.

His hot lips made the corner of my teary eyes feel cooler.

Roger: …

When I looked up and saw Roger staring right at me, I hurriedly looked away and felt his lips again.

Kate: …

His lips touched my wet lashes and then his tongue lapped up a tear before he pressed his lips against my eye again.

(If he like crying faces…then does he like to taste tears too?)

I had no clue what was going on in Roger’s head.

But what I understood less was what was going on with the throbbing in my chest.

Roger: Bon appétit.

(...Bon appétit?)

At that moment, I came back to my senses.

Kate: D-don’t just go taking things without asking! I didn’t mean to let you do that.

I pushed him back as hard as I could and Roger’s shoulders shook with laughter.

Roger: Aw, too bad. I was so close.

Kate: You weren’t close in the slightest!

Roger: Really? You looked like you were enjoying yourself that I thought you’d cum**.

Kate: Wha?!

When Roger looked at my silent face…a gurgle came from my stomach.

Roger: Haha, looks like your stomach’s feeling better. Let’s go eat.

(Waa, it was embarrassing, but my stomach might have saved me…)

If I didn’t say anything, he would’ve noticed how flustered I was.

Kate: Um…let’s go. I’m hungry!

Roger: Oh yeah, there’s this delicious ice cream shop around the corner that Ellis told me about.

Kate: Oh, if it’s from Ellis then it must be right since he always knows the best restaurants. I want ice cream! Let’s go, Roger.

When my eyes lit up, Roger’s shoulders shook with laughter.

Roger: Pfft…Alright, we’ll get ice cream after we eat. Loser of rock-paper-scissor’s treat.

With that said, Roger started walking away with his long strides.

Kate: Ah, wait for me!

As I followed after him, I thought back to the robin growth map’s conditions.

(What would happen…if I did fall for Roger?)

No one can predict how people fall in love with each other.

Meaning it’s not impossible, but.

Roger: Come on, keep up. How about I hold your hand so you don’t get lost.

Kate: I-I’ll pass!

Roger: You sure? You’re so cold. Aren’t you supposed to teach me about romantic love?

Kate: I said I’d teach you the general idea of it, not have you fall in love with me.

Roger: Yeah, sure. Yapping after crying, you’re so restless.

Roger and I falling in love—

(Nope, not possible at all!)

*Am I keeping dogsbody? We’ll see. We got options: errand girl, chore girl, runner, gofer

**If you’re going to write iku or ike in katakana, I’m gonna assume

#ikemen villains #ikevil #ikevil jp #ikevil translations #roger barel #ikevil roger #ikevil roger route

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shatcey · 7 days ago

Text

Dark IF (Harrison)

William Harrison

@.archiveikemen made a wonderful translation of the prologue to this event. I recommend reading it in advance so that there are no questions about how we got into this story.

@.kurishiri has compiled an amazing masterlist on this event. I'm doing summaries, so I'm not there. If you prefer to read the full translation, you have that option as well. Not necessarily for this story… This is the main reason why I'm making a summary to fill in the missing parts.

Before I start, I wanna say that for some magical reason (I believe it's fate) I read two stories in which Victor and Harrison are present. And it feels like I'm reading a continuation of the same story. To some extent, this is true. Ally, it's not what you think. I mean, I was destined to read those two stories, not that Vivi or Harry… I don't even wanna finish this sentence…

(clears throat)

This time… there is no feeling that we should read bitter ending first. This is a completely different ending, and it seems final, nothing will remain after it. It's very sad, and if you don't wanna cry, I recommend scroll to the premium one.

Warning(!!!): blood and mention of death.

Kate is running after someone. The glass slipper slipped off her foot, as expected, and the magic changed her dress, but it's not that important. She's running after someone… She follows him into the woods and looks around. There's no one there, and she can't see the castle lights anymore.

Suddenly, a voice asks her why she is here. She looks in that direction and meets the gaze of bright green eyes. Kate honestly replies that she followed him. He looks stunned. Then she asks what his name is. He replies that it is the lying Fox Harrison. Kate thought he looked gloomy when he said that. When he asked her why she followed him…

Here we go… our continuation of William's bitter ending…

Harrison looked surprised for a moment. Kate tried to remember where she might have met him, but she couldn't remember anything. He replied that yes, it is (a liar). But Kate couldn't stop wondering why she was feeling so nostalgic…

He offered her to walk her home, and on the way she talked about herself non-stop. How she appeared here, what she has to looking for, he listened to her very carefully, but he didn't seem to want to talk about himself.

When Kate saw her house in the distance, she suddenly felt lonely and upset. When he said goodbye and turned to leave, Kate grabbed his sleeve. It seemed to her that if she let him go now, she would never see him again.

He asked her if she hadn't talked enough. No, that's not the case, she wanted to thank him for listening to her so attentively. She asked him if she could see him again.

No, no, no, mister! It won't work with us. She remembers you, sort of, and we all know there's nothing to hate you for.

Kate agrees with me and tells him the same thing (the last part). And she added that, of course, she continues to look for what is missing, but she would like to see him every day and talk about casual things so that she can forget about her problems. She thinks that only in such moments she can become herself again. The silence drags on, and she sadly asks if that means "no". But he patted her on the head and add...

You're not stalking her, are you? It's not that creepy if it's you, but still… It's very suspicious that you'll show up as soon as she calls you.

Finally, he released his sleeve from her grasp and left, saying "good night, Kate."

Kate returned to her room. In my opinion, it's too decent one for the Cinderella. She writes in her diary about what happened to her. She has been keeping a diary since she came to this world. By the time she finished writing about the ball, the pages had run out. And she started a new diary with a description of the meeting with Harrison.

And suddenly Kate realized that she didn't remember telling him her name… How does he know that?

A week later

Kate calls his name in the woods. Harrison said irritably: "Again?". Kate remembers that since the day they met, she has been calling him every time something happens to her. He pointed out that she shouldn't spend so much time with him. She still hadn't found what was missing. She feels pang of guilt, but assures him that she is doing her best.

He took the basket she was carrying and asked if she was going on a picnic today. He led her to a beautiful field of flowers.

He mentioned that the prince had been looking for someone recently. The woman who wore the glass slippers. No way! We're in Cinderella, and the prince was looking for someone? Who could it be?

Kate thinks he was looking for her. And in a happy ending, she should marry a prince. And maybe if she gets a happy ending, she'll find what was missing. She noticed how concerned Harry looked and changed the topic.

She can't remember the lying Fox in the Cinderella. No one remembers because… he doesn't have a role. The lying fox has always been hated. He can travel between fairy tales, but he cannot be a character in any of them. There is no fairy tale with a lying fox. Kate was terribly angry. Why didn't such a kind and wonderful person have a fairy tale? She took her diary and started writing something in it.

She tells him that people just don't know how wonderful he is, and she really doesn't understand how anyone can hate him.

The prince appears. Of course, he needed to spoil this wonderful moment.

The prince looked at her and immediately recognized her as the person he was looking for. Kate looked at Harry and noticed how dark his eyes were. She reflexively grabbed his sleeve. I like that part of hers. Don't let him slip away, girl!

The prince noticed Harry and told her that she shouldn't spend time with this "filthy creature". Another person who asks to be punched. This is a rather disturbing tendency.

Kate thinks that despite the fact that she is Cinderella now and should marry the prince, as soon as she noticed that Harry bit his lip, she hugged him. She thinks it's not her happy ending. So she tells the prince that she cannot respond to his feelings.

I rephrased it a bit, originally it was "my happy ending is not about being with you" but I think it's more appropriate to talk about the happy ending she was thinking about. Despite the ending of the fairy tale imposed on her, she doesn't consider it happy. Maybe I'm wrong.

She gets up, grabs Harry's hand and runs away. Good girl! if you can't solve the problem, run away from it. Good advice from Ally.

They're running towards the cliff. I don't like this place… this is already a bad sign. Harry tells her to go back to the prince. He told her that if she chose him, she would not find what was missing. But if she chooses a prince, she might find it. She said she knew that. But she's only happy when she's with him.

The prince appears. A persistent bastard.

She wants to retreat, but there's only a cliff behind her. Prince felt sorry for her that the fox had deceived her. And he said he had to kill him, or her, or both. This guy is really crazy. He took a sword and stabbed someone through. Kate and Harry fell off a cliff.

Bitter ending

Harry hugged Kate so that nothing would happen to her as they rolled down the hill. They fell into a shallow river. Kate thought that the water in this river was the same color as Harry's eyes. She looked around and found that he was lying a little away. She gasped and ran up to him. He clutched his stomach, trying to stop the bleeding, but it was no use. He opened his eyes and smiled at her.

No, she's not, but he is… She remembered that the prince's sword was definitely pointed at her, but Harry protected her. And even after that… He protected her the whole time they were falling off the cliff.

He told her that she had been here thousands of times. She was in Cinderella, Alice, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. And every time she had to find what was missing. She did it over and over again, and he could only watch her.

He explained that in this world, if she had a bad ending, she would return to her original world. And at that moment, her memories are erased.

So he lied… they had met many times before.

He asks her to return to her world, forget everything and be happy. She doesn't want that… He wipes her tears, says he loves her, and… dies.

She begs him to open his eyes, after all, he's lying, it must be a lie. But… he's already gone. She had been crying on his chest for who knows how long. Suddenly she heard footsteps.

Victor, do something!

No, not that!

He told her that this was what Harry had asked him to do. Bring her back to her world and never return her here again. But if she comes back, she'll forget Harry, and she doesn't want that. She said she loves Harrison and that's probably why she's coming back to this world… she wanted to see him again.

Despite the fact that everyone hated him, despite the fact that he had no place in any fairy tale, Harrison was the main character in her fairy tale.

Victor took the small key that hung on Harrison's chest and handed it to Kate.

This is also not what I asked for. I should have been more precise from the very beginning.

She doesn't remember how much time has passed since then. She continues to wander through this distorted fairy-tale world in the form of a lying fox, who cannot be a character in any fairy tale. Unable to change story, she just wishes of a happy ending and is overwhelmed by her helplessness.

After another bad ending, she returns to the river and lies down in shallow waters. In her slumber, she continues to dream of a happy ending that will never come true. "I love you, Harrison".

Premium ending

The prince's sword pierced through her… She was lying on the bank of a shallow river, and Harrison next to her looked like he was about to cry. She looked down and saw that there was a lot of blood flowing down the river.

Harry asked why she was protecting him. This time, the prince pointed the sword at Harry, and the moment she realized it, she stepped between them. No, really, girl, dodge! Fall to the ground, throw the sword aside… Do something so you DON'T die. Why do you always act like you have 9 lives?

Kate answered Harry's question that you don't need a reason to protect the person you love. Harry desperately push the wound on her stomach. The moment he thought that if he died, she would just return to her world world and forget about him. He explained to her that this was not the first time she had come to this world in search of something was missing.

She's been through a lot of bad things, and he's watched her die many times… She finally understood why she was feeling so nostalgic. She thinks that if she dies, she will forget about him.

Harry says that as long as she's happy, it doesn't matter how he feels. But he doesn't want to be forgotten anymore. Oh, no, it's a painful topic.

Oh, no, that's a painful topic as well…

She took out her diary. The lying fox is hated, and cannot be a character in any fairy tale. But in this diary she writes only about him, as if he were the main character. And so, with trembling fingers, she writes "the tale of the lying fox" on the cover. She started to lose her conscientiousness, but she heard Harry's words.

That's cute and all… but… the plot is missing.

And suddenly she's not dying anymore. Her eyesight has returned to normal, and there are no more wounds on her.

Victor! Why didn't you do it last time?

Harry asks Victor why he is here (and not at the theater, as I believe he lives) but Victor explains that a new fairy tale has been born in a destorted fairy-tale world, and it will exist as long as Kate is here. He congratulated Harry on his own story. Kate hugged Harry, feeling incredibly happy, and Harry hugged her back even tighter.

Victor clapped his hands, and the scenery completely changed.

Victor disappears, leaving them alone, and Harry asks her if she will continue to write his story. She's the only one who can do it. She happily answers "yes" and hugs him. They laugh and touch each other, as if they can't believe their happiness.

She tells Harry that she finally understood why she never managed to reach a happy ending. That's because the only happy ending for her is with him.

This is a fairy tale that never existed. Until now. And she found it in a slumber. Their own warm happy ending.

It's going to be a very long… I have a lot to add from myself.

I really love this story. It has several levels of meaning, a concept that is very close to real life. It caused a lot of strong emotions. I thought that Will's bitter ending was good. It's good, but compared to this one… It's too primitive. New clues and discoveries about the characters that were side ones in the previous part of the event. And… how poetically it is written… I have indeed given you a complete translation of one part, but I will not tell you which one, so as not to embarrass myself if it's not quite accurate.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Story is often associated with the life of the person. And we have Kate who writes a story (in the diary). So the meaning is very simple… She's writing her own story, her own life. And her story affects other people's lives so much that it creates a new one. I don't know about you, guys, but the thought gives me goosebumps. We never know how our words or actions will affect others, we never know what people will remember about us over time. So the fact that it can be so grandiose is overwhelming. I have a college whose words I remember for many years, and they became a good motivation for me. I'm sure he doesn't even remember saying them.

There was a part in the premium ending where Harry adds an ending to the story… If you look at it from a relationship perspective… A relationship (from my point of view, absolutely silly and unrealistic) is the work of two people. They both add something to their story that changes both of them and the direction they are moving. And Harry adds something from himself to this story, and only after that a fairy tale is born. Kate kept a diary all this time, but in the bitter ending Victor didn't create a fairy tale for them. If it was him… It only happened when Harry added something. He may have added an ending that's important to any story, but I like to think that's not the case. I like this concept way too much to give it up so easily.

The part in the bitter ending where Harry says he's seen her in every fairy tale hit very hard. I remembered another story and I'll tell you about it at the end, off topic part. I'm surprised what after seeing so many times her bad endings… he can still be surprised, sad, and actually continue feel… Emotions can be quite tedious and painful, and sometimes it's easier to just shut them down. Probably not all people can do this… In fact, I don't recommend doing this…. A world without emotions looks gray. Maybe it was depression… hmmm…

So now I have a vague idea of what was in the Harry's story for 95k in the first Dark IF. But I would still like to read it if I had the chance.

I really love this Kate. I don't remember her being so pushy or clingy in his route, but her desperate desire to be with him was literally palpable. And it was from the very beginning. And I find it refreshing that there was no sudden revelation "OMG, I LOVE HIM!". It's becoming old. She didn't realize it all of a sudden, she always felt this way and only in her thoughts tried to convince herself that this was not what she should do. Like… "I have a task… I have to do it… but…" In fact, it's very similar to real life again. I didn't expect that there would be so many references of our daily struggles...

I'm even more interested in Vivi. Is he some kind of keeper of this world? Is he as attached to it as Harry is? With the key? But he's more detached from the characters than Harry ever was. Perhaps because of how long he's been here… I don't know. We don't see any magic in him other than changing a fairy tale by clapping his hands, but Harry said he can do it too, so I don't see any difference. And if Vivi didn't create anything, then how was the fairy tale created? Who did this and why?

In William's Bitter Ending, Vivi said he will restart the story. So… he has sort of control over it. And it was he who sent Kate to look for the missing piece… so he should know what is missing.

Vivi is actually very sympathetic here. In the bitter ending, he seemed very upset about Kate's loss and gave her the key so she could stay. I suppose he had no other choice. It wasn't very kind of him, he should understand how difficult it is to be a lying fox in this world, but he still offers her this option as an alternative to forgetting everything. And in the premium ending, he is sincerely happy for them and believes that their future will be bright.

But… Maybe it's just a slumber… To find answers, we need to wait another year. Hopefully when Vivi's story comes out. But around April next year, Vivi's route will be released, and perhaps it will give us at least some hints of what to expect from this event. I'm very much looking forward to it.

And finally. But this is really off topic. There is a game called Mystic messager. If you play it, you know a character named Seven. That's not his name, that's what he called himself. For those of you who haven't played this game, this game in the form of a chats. You have several options to choose from, and based on your choises, you will reach one of the endings with one of the characters. There are a lot of bad endings. The whole game will take you 10 days (if I remember correctly). And less if you've reached a bad ending. Real days. But if you want to reach another ending, you should start over. And all the characters will think of you as a complete stranger... again. Doesn't it sound familiar? There was a theory in the community that Seven was the only one who never forgot. Who remembered her every restart, who loved her on every route. And then I read Harrison's endings… I thought… this is proof that the theory is correct. It doesn't matter that this is a completely different world and completely different developers. It still counts!!!

After reading Vivi's story translated by @.reccyls… I want to add a bit. I feel terribly stupid because I didn't figure out what was missing. It's like I'm truely a biggest idiot. That's how I feel. It was kind of obvious… And I like Vivi even more now. His " There has never been a single person like you before." hit me hard. As if it's really impossible. I don't feel despair from him, just calm loneliness. It's like he's already come to terms with it and doesn't even think that anything can change. This is even more upsetting.

And finally, there was another fairy tale mentioned in Vivi's story… a little mermaid. We don't have any characters from this fairy tale yet. Is this a hint for the next group of boys?…

dividers @.sister-lucifer (recolored with the author's permission)

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🔝 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕋 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔼 🔝

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#ikemen villians #ikemen villains #ikevil #harrison grey #harrison gray #ikemen villains harrison #ikevil harrison #victor #ikemen villains victor #ikemen victor #ikevil victor #ikevil JP #ikevil event

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kurishiri · 2 months ago

Text

22 . . . alfons main story — mad love

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— cw: not much i think! a lot of silliness again.

—— Flashback ——

Alfons: ...Then... how about we make a bet... the two of us?

Kate: ...? A bet...?

Alfons: If I die, then I win. I bid you adieu, and have a lovely rest of your life.

A: But, if I happen to survive this ordeal... then you win.

A: And, just as you so wish, I will love you back to the fullest——

A: And tear your life to bits and pieces.

—— End flashback ——

——Such was the bet we had made when death threatened to take him away to the abyss.

Kate: ...I won that bet.

Tears still pricked the edges of my eyes as I flashed him a smile, to which Alfons gently placed the palm of his hand atop my head——

Alfons: Now then, what is this about me ‘making a bet?’

[1] Pinch his hand.

[2] Step on his foot.

[3] Poke his wound. (+4 / +4)

Kate: .........

I didn’t say a word back, only poking at his bandaged wound, and the mask of a smile Alfons had plastered started to crumble.

Alfons: Ow, ow — I swear in the name of anyone above, it really hurts.

Staring at my pouting face, Alfons let out a giggle.

Alfons: I was only speaking in jest then. I do indeed remember our bet, very much so.

A: Oh, and also how positively adorable you looked while crying and clinging to me.

Kate: Okay, now that, you are more than free to forget...

I tightened my arms around him even more, and as though saying, ‘I surrender,’ he patted my back in response.

Then Alfons took my chin in his hand——and with so little distance between us that we could clearly see each other reflected in the other’s eyes, our gazes intertwined.

Alfons: All that said, though, I must say it is a tad beyond me what ‘loving you back to the fullest’ truly entails...

A: So enlighten me on that, will you, Kate?

Hearing the subtle heat contained in his voice, my heart skipped a beat.

Kate: ...O-of course I will.

K: For starters... how about you stop teasing and playing those who worry over you?

Alfons: Ahha! You’re ever so serious, I see.

When Alfons burst out into laughter——

Elbert: Al...?

(Lord Elbert...!)

Lord Elbert showed up at the dining room, his eyes filled with surprise as he stood where he was, seemingly petrified.

Kate: Lord Elbert, look! Alfons is fine now! He’s alive.

K: We won the bet.

Elbert: ...So we have, I see. ...I’m glad.

Seeing a broad smile blossom on Lord Elbert like a flower, I, too, felt so happy that I relaxed.

Alfons: ...Do my eyes deceive me, or have you two become awfully close at some point?

The two of us exchanged a look and smile, causing Alfons to tilt his head in bewilderment.

Kate: Yes, we sure have, while you were knocking on death’s door.

Elbert: Indeed.

Alfons: ...Well, I’ll be.

A: Well, you two are just so naïvely honest, so I suppose now that you say it, I can see it happening.

Elbert: I do feel there is something more in common we share though...

Alfons: ...And what might that be?

Lord Elbert gave me a short look, before a smile laced with mischief that I felt I had not seen on him ever before played on his lips.

Elbert: ...It’s a secret.

Alfons: Come again?

I had an inkling on what Lord Elbert probably wanted to say then.

(I think it may be how we both hold Alfons dear in our hearts.)

Kate: ...Hehe.

Alfons: Is this what they call ‘a secret only the two of you know’? And right before the man to whom you’ve pledged your love, to boot. Goodness, your cruelty breaks my poor heart, Kate.

Roger: ——And by the way.

All of a sudden Roger pulled Alfons away, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck.

It seemed he had finished at some point, seeing that the plate that had several pieces of toast was now clean.

Roger: Al, I don’t recall ever having said it was alright to get out of bed? What’s with that?

Alfons: Is that so? And I cannot say I hold any recollection of me needing your permission to do so?

I was sure Alfons knew that Roger was the one who had saved him,

but Alfons, seeming to feign ignorance, tilted his head in an unnatural motion.

Roger: Well, I was the one who did the operation on you. And last I checked, patients aren’t allowed to wander out of bed without the doctor saying it’s okay.

Roger’s tone was light in response, as though he was long used to such an attitude toward him.

Alfons: Well, I see no reason to do as you say, seeing as you have operated on me without my informed consent.

Roger: Nope, I’m not having any of that. You will be doing what I say.

R: Because as things stand, I wouldn’t be surprised if your heart stopped beating from an irregular pulse incurred by internal bleeding.

R: You even took out the IV on your own, didn’t you?

Kate: What!?

(He’s in such a critical condition and yet here he was, hiding and walking behind me!?)

Kate: Bed, now.

Alfons: Oh dear, how your words hurt me so, Kate. Just whose side are you on!?

Kate: Without a doubt, Roger’s!

Alfons took his own life too lightly, and Roger had saved him. The choice here was quite obvious.

When I gave a clear-cut answer, Alfons feigned shock, his gestures exaggerated and theatrical,

as he took out a handkerchief from his chest pocket and dabbed the corner of his eyes.

Alfons: No way... there goes my wholehearted faith...

Kate: ...I know this is all an act, but even so, I would take those words from anyone but you...

Alfons: ...Are you not lonely, Kate?

A: See, to think we had only just decided to love each other to the fullest, only for us to be separated right after...

Kate: O-of course I am... how could I not?

K: But, your life is the most invaluable thing, Alfons. So that’s why I’m holding back.

Alfons: ...!

Alfons looked on at me, blinking at me.

(W-wait, huh... was he still joking? I ended up responding back to that in earnest though.)

(Was he still teasing me...?)

Feeling more awkward, my gaze started to waver as I looked at him, but then his lips curved up into a smile.

Alfons: Hehe... well then, I will see to it that I spoil you rotten to make up for the time you have to hold back.

(Oh...)

Although the words he spoke were naughty, that smile was filled with affection——

Roger: I hate to cut in like this, but I’ll have to stop you guys here.

While I was at a loss of words, Roger once again grabbed the scruff of Alfons’ neck and dragged him out.

Alfons: Well then, Kate, let us talk once again sooon!

Roger: Yeah, and if you get out of bed — in your words — once again, I’m gonna be tying you down.

Alfons waved to me while being dragged away, and his words repeated in my mind over and over.

(When he says he’s going to ‘spoil me rotten’——I wonder, w-what would that happen to entail?)

Once again, my head was filled to the brim with Alfons.

And then, several days passed before Alfons was permitted to get out.

But before any ‘spoiling’ could happen——Crown had a mission to do.

As for the purification club members who had their eyes on Alfons,

allegedly, after they were interrogated by Crown for information, they passed judgment on them.

——After all, there was not a single sin Crown would forgive.

When the purification club had not heard back from the people who were after him, they went into hiding.

And according to Victor... Lord Goa had asked the Privy Council for further instructions, but it seemed he was left in the dust.

Victor / William: I suppose all that is to say, they have no more use for such pawns. [1]

Alfons: There’s not a shadow of doubt in my mind that the pride of that political figure must be sorely hurt, yes?

Alfons made a dramatic show of lamentation.

But the moment he sighed in pity, those lips curled up into an amused smile.

Alfons: ——Ah, I’ve just come up with a lovely idea.

A: What say you guys that we do the honor of putting a balm on poor Lord Goa’s wounds and fear?

—— Time skip ——

Kate: It’s finally time...

Alfons: Ahha! You’re so positively stiff as a stick as always, dare I say.

The plan that Alfons had come up with was quite simple——

Crown would pose as the Privy Council and invite Lord Goa to the castle, where they would condemn him.

Seeing that he had been completely left in the dust by the Privy Council, we were sure he would not want to let this chance at having been invited slip away,

so no matter how cautious of a parliamentary member he was, he would have no choice but to accept when summoned by the Privy Council.

Just as Alfons had predicted, Lord Goa accepted our invitation, and it was decided he would arrive at the castle tonight.

(And other things are proceeding as planned too.)

—— Flashback ——

William: There is one problem we need to address though. It is possible that the Privy Council may interfere, wanting to cause harm to us, or the police comes——

Harrison: And that’s why I gave some false information to the Privy Council, just to be safe.

H: So now they believe that Crown’s going to pass judgment to and confront the members of the purification club in a different place.

William: ——So he says.

(Wait, why did the Privy Council take Harrison’s word, just like that?)

I was curious about that——but William didn’t press any further, seeming to be in the know of the circumstances.

Alfons: I’m sure any- and everyone has a secret or two they loathe to share.

A: And Harrison is hardly an exception... yes?

Kate: ...Somehow, those words seem much stronger when you’re the one saying them.

Alfons: Ahha! I will take your words all to heart.

—— End flashback ——

And so, to account for the false information Harrison had given to the Privy Council, the members split into two teams,

where Harrison, Liam, Roger, and Jude would go to the other place.

And then William, Lord Elbert, Alfons, Ellis, and Victor made up the other team,

confronting Lord Goa directly.

(For this plan, using Alfons’ ability is imperative.)

He would use his ability on him, making them believe that those awaiting in the castle were ‘members of the Privy Council.’

(...In other words, only Alfons will be able to confront Lord Goa as is.)

Kate: ...You wouldn’t go off and do something strange again, would you?

Alfons: Well, the meaning of ‘something strange’ is positively beyond me.

A: Or do you perhaps intend to drown in excitement and do naughty things with me?

Kate: You know that’s not what I meant...

K: I meant to not provoke them and try to get yourself killed.

When I said this, he shot me an exasperated look.

Alfons: ...If that’s the case, then dare I say, I find the fact you are here more worrying, would you not say?

Kate: And why is that?

Alfons: Why, because your naïve honesty and single-mindedness may once again get me shot with a gun covering for you, you know.

(...That... I can’t argue back.)

The regret I felt then had been carved in my heart so deeply, I reckoned it wouldn’t disappear in this lifetime.

(But, I won’t let something like that happen again.)

Kate: It’ll be alright. Because I won’t let you do something like that again.

K: I’ll be protecting myself.

I lifted the hem of my skirt slightly.

Alfons: ——Well, would you look at that.

When I pointed at the pistol in the leg holster,

Alfons let out a whistle, seemingly poking some fun.

Alfons: You look positively sexy in that. Care to spend a night with me?

Kate: S-stop playing around.

I lowered my skirt hem again, hiding the pistol from sight.

Alfons: That said, are you familiar with the ways of a gun?

Kate: The head of the post office I worked at taught the basics of how to use it, saying ‘in this time and age, there’s no harm in women learning how to use a gun for defense.’

Alfons: Ahha! Goodness, I cannot help but wonder if he truly works for the post office?

Considering all of the shock I’ve been through by accompanying Crown, I had ended up forgetting,

but when I thought about it, perhaps this sort of story would be an amusing tale to Alfons.

Kate: Well, he had always liked venturing into new things. ...All that said, I can’t say I had actually used a gun before.

K: So that’s why, while waiting for you to regain consciousness, I had William teach me a little, as a change of pace.

Alfons: To think you’d take a fancy to such a morbid change of pace though. Oh, you poor little robin, you’ve been positively tainted by Crown, I see.

Kate: Haha, aren’t you just a pot calling the kettle black now?

(Whenever I talk with Alfons, it’s like my anxiety just goes off somewhere.)

Thinking back on it, it had always been like this.

(No matter how much caution I exercised, Alfons would always sneak up behind me and blow into my ear and whatnot...)

(Indeed, ever since we had first met, he would always wipe away all of my uncertainties and anxiety.)

When our eyes met, I managed to give a natural smile, despite the fact we were about to confront Lord Goa.

Kate: Anyway, what I was trying to say was... I won’t have you covering for me anymore, so you don’t need to worry.

My hand touched the gun from over my skirt.

(I still don’t want to forget you.)

I made my wish on this gun.

Alfons: To think that the you who had so clumsily clung to me with tears in your eyes when I had covered for you is now nowhere to be seen...

A: ...Whatever could be more unfortunate, indeed.

Above us, the shadows of the clouds slowly drifted.

On this night of judgment——light and shadow took their turns, illuminating Alfons’ pleasant smile.

to be continued…

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masterlist🪞 ╱ ko-fi ☕️

NOTES:

[1] The sprite shows Victor, but the textbox says William. So I’m not really sure who is saying this.

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ tags🏷️ ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ @drachonia @.comment, send an ask off anon, or dm to be added or removed!

#is it just me or #does the first half kinda like come from a shoujo anime vibes #please team snow white is so sillyy #ikemen villains #ikevil #イケメンヴィラン #ikevil alfons #ikevil alfons sylvatica #alfons sylvatica #ikemen villains alfons #cybird ikemen series #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #ikemen series #otome game #otome #ikevil translation #ikevil translations #div: natimiles; cafekitsune

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archiveikemen · 8 months ago

Text

Ellis Twilight Main Story: Chapter 0

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

❥･• Warnings and FAQ

Ellis: That’s all Jude told me to report.

Victor: Thank you, you’ve done well for this mission. … Looks like things got rather rough tonight.

Ellis: Huh? Oh…

I looked down at my bloodied shirt and understood the reason for Victor’s wry smile.

Tonight’s mission indeed took longer to complete than expected.

Ellis: I was aiming for the heart, but their flesh was thicker than I thought, so my knife didn't go very deep.

Ellis: I felt sorry for them because I couldn’t make them die an instant death.

Victor: And as always, you continued with your mission calmly, but… have you ever had a hard time completing missions?

(Have I…)

The members of “Crown”, the imperial organisation under direct command of Her Majesty the Queen, took missions ranging from gathering information to assassinations.

Not long after I joined them, did I realise that some of us weren't entirely indifferent to taking the lives of others.

If anything, I thought it was normal to feel that way.

(But…)

Ellis: Not particularly.

Victor: … That’s great then. Could you also convey my thanks to Jude on my behalf?

Ellis: Mm, got it.

…

Picking flowers, putting them together in a bouquet, and displaying them in a shop.

Polishing dirty shoes with cream and a brush.

To me, my job being to kill people felt no different from those regular jobs.

As long as it didn't involve my personal desires, I never hesitated to kill.

(If ever I hesitate to kill someone—)

(It’ll definitely be because I want to kill them.)

(It'll be when I harbour such selfish thoughts.)

In order to avoid that — I put a tightly sealed lid over my desires.

Never again… will I turn the happiness of someone I love into a fake.

…

Little Boy: Waaahh…!

Ellis: …!

No matter how bloody the night got, it would always be followed by a bright morning.

While I was at the market on some business for the Jude and the company, I came across a little boy bawling his eyes out.

(He doesn't seem to be injured… is he lost?)

I was about to approach him, when a postwoman nearby quickly crouched down next to the crying boy and comforted him.

Her gentle demeanour seemed to help him calm down a little.

(... That's good. In that case, I shall—)

I looked around the area…

(Ah, over there.)

I spotted the person I was looking for. My relatively tall height gave me an advantage in crowds.

Ellis: By any chance, are you looking for a lost child?

Teary-Eyed Woman: Y-Yes, do you know where he is…!?

I pointed in the direction of the little boy, and the woman immediately ran towards him.

I watched as the facial expressions of the postwoman, little boy, and the woman who seemed to be his mother brightened up.

(... I’m glad.)

If possible, I want everyone I meet to be happy.

I don’t want anyone to be unhappy.

If there’s anything I can do to make them happy, I will.

(Because… happiness is easily broken.)

(It doesn’t matter how wonderful the person is, or how much they hope for an ordinary day.)

…

Happiness, like the twilight sky, was transient.

(... See?)

It was a typical night where we were on a mission as usual, and Crown had just taken the life of our target.

Then came the sound of a woman’s happiness shattering.

William: Now look who we have here, aren't you the little robin I met earlier today?

Kate: Um… uhh… eeh…?

The lady was trembling with blood splattered on her pale face.

She was likely that postwoman I saw in town earlier in the day.

(... Poor lady.)

My heart ached when I recalled the happy smile on her face when that mother found her lost son.

The things we did as Crown were top secret.

This darkness should never be made known to people who live in the sun.

If they ever find out about it — there would be no going back to their original lives.

(That’s why, at the very least…)

…

Ellis: Do we kill her?

Ellis: She doesn’t look happy at all, but I’ll do it if it’s for work.

(At the very least, she’ll be freed from suffering if I kill her.)

The room went silent.

The postwoman who introduced herself as Kate trembled pitifully.

Victor: Hmm. Let me think…

(Once he decides to kill Kate, I’ll make it quick for her.)

(That way, she won’t have to suffer from the fear and anxiety any longer.)

While awaiting Victor’s response, I reached for my knife, and at that moment—

Kate: I swear that I will NEVER breathe a word about ANYTHING I just heard!

Kate declared with an assertive voice.

Victor: Hmm… huh? What?

Kate: I will keep all that information strictly confidential. I work as a postwoman, I’m professionally trained to keep secrets!

(...)

Victor • William: …

(Victor and Will seem surprised.)

I was surprised by her response as well, and I found myself unable to take my eyes off her.

Even though Kate was in a potentially life-threatening situation, she didn’t seem to have given up on wanting to live.

Kate: If you don’t trust me, you can go ahead and keep a close eye on me until you do.

Kate: I’ll prove to you through my actions that I’m worthy of your trust.

(... I believe in you.)

I believe that you’ll return to your original life.

I believe that you’ll smile with joy once again.

In this darkness where the sun doesn't shine, I believe in you.

(—... How lovely.)

Her profile was dazzling, like the setting sun before it disappeared in the horizon—.

(I want to see you smile again.)

(Like how you did when I saw you in town.)

Having those thoughts felt so natural to me.

If only this didn't have to be “The End” because of my job.

If only there was a “continuation” of your happiness.

(I want to make you happy.)

As I gazed at Kate’s look of determination—

— For some reason, an image of the twilight on the happiest day of my life appeared in my mind.

#ikemen villains #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #otome #cybird otome #ikevil main story #ellis main story #ellis twilight

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thetriumphantpanda · 1 year ago

Text

Ghost of You | J. Miller (Chapter Eight)

Series Summary / Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. And no-one ever explains the guilt you feel when it isn’t anymore. When it’s just a dull ache and you can finally breathe again, when you can start letting people get close to you again. People like Joel Miller.

Pairing / Joel Miller x Widow F!Reader

Word Count / 4.4k

Warnings / Soft!Joel as usual, some heavy petting, descriptions of panic attacks, descriptions of injuries (I am not a medical professional, please don't come for me), descriptions of food and alcohol, but nothing else.

Authors Note / Okay, so this came to me in a dream when I was really stuck on how to properly move these two forward and I hope that I've managed to portray it properly. If you enjoyed this then please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or popping into my ask with some love! And if you'd like to leave a tip, you can do that over on my Ko-Fi.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Summer soon makes way for the fall, the air becoming chillier in Jackson by the day. The leaves have started to change, and you can already feel yourself missing the warmth and comfort that summer brought. The days are shorter, but that might also have something to do with the fact that you were finally back to work at the library full time, spending your days with Kate, and your evenings, more often than not, with Joel and Ellie.

You and Joel were still taking things steady. You always returned to your home each evening and nothing had progressed between the two of you apart from the heavy make-out sessions you would sometimes have on his couch. He was careful with you, always searching your face when his hands would touch somewhere new, always asking if it was alright to put his lips to your neck, pointing to exactly where he’d put his mouth with his fingers. It was nice, you enjoyed it, and there had never been a moment where you felt he was frustrated with how slow things were going between the two of you. Always content to just sit with his arm around you, play board games with you and Ellie and just have quiet conversation in the dark of his living room.

It was, however, frustrating you. There had been occasions where you’d stood on the porch, waiting for him to open the door, where you thought that evening would be the one. It had happened more often recently, now that Ellie had converted the garage at the end of their garden as somewhere to have her own space, but every time you felt like you wanted to ask, ask him to lay you down underneath him and take what you were desperate for, something always stopped you.

Tonight, it was particularly cold out. Joel had set a fire which had warmed his living room, casting an orange, flickering glow over the game of monopoly that Ellie had just won. You’d been at it for hours, a back and forth of Joel trying to convince you to sell your properties to him in exchange for his utilities, you refusing and instead ganging up with Ellie to buy up most of the board, before she turned on you as well.

“Told ya,” Joel smirks, nudging you with his elbow, “Should’a sold your blues to me, then we’d be the winners.”

“Joel,” You chuckle, as you take the paper money from Ellie to put back in the box, “You offered me two utilities for my two blues, it was never going to happen.”

“Hey, I offered to throw in a kiss as well,” He winks at you, to which you swat his arm, “Usually wins you over.”

“You two a fucking gross sometimes,” Ellie laughs, “I’m going to bed, don’t stay up too long, oldies.”

She’s out of the backdoor in a flash, leaving you to finish clearing up the game and stack it away with the others, Joel is standing from the couch at the same time, “Nightcap?” He asks.

“Always,” You smile over your shoulder, “That’s what us old people do, right? Drink whiskey to help us sleep.”

He chuckles as he pulls the bottle from the cupboard. This had become an almost nightly routine now, you’d have a drink or two, cuddle up until you could feel your eyes get heavy and then go home to your empty house, your empty bed. But it didn’t ever feel that lonely anymore. Sure, sometimes you’d turn over and look at the empty side of the bed and wish someone was there, but more often than not it was Joel’s form you’d imagine there at night, not Mark, although he did still make his appearances.

The more you’d talked to Joel about him, the more comfortable you’d become with the idea that Mark would actually have really fucking liked Joel. Mark and Tommy had been close friends, and although Joel was certainly different to Tommy in many ways, you knew that if Joel had just been a friend, if Mark had continued to stay alive and healthy, they’d have been a firm trio of friends.

“You ever think you’d spend the rest of your days living out the apocalypse playing monopoly?” You ask as Joel hands you your glass, “Because if you’d have told me twenty years ago that’s what I’d be doing, I’d have laughed.”

He lets out a groan as he sits back down, opening his arm for you to curl up into his side like you usually do, “It does seem a bit domestic, doesn’t it?” He chuckles, taking a sip from his glass, “Nice though, especially when I got a pretty lady to cuddle up to as well.”

“You flirt,” You chuckle, sipping your own drink, “Mark would have hated evenings like this though.”

“Hmmm?” Joel hums, “Why’s that?”

“Just not his style,” You shrug, “Liked his evenings quiet, we’d eat dinner and read, and he’d be in bed as soon as it was dark.”

“You liked that?” Joel asks, hand running light touches up and down your arm.

“I didn’t mind it,” You answer honestly, “After years of bouncing from place to place, never knowing when you were going to have to move on or when you might die, it was nice to just be still and quiet I guess.”

“But you prefer getting your ass beat by a fifteen-year-old at monopoly?” He chuckles.

“I wouldn’t say prefer,” You laugh along, “It’s just a nice change.”

The whiskey, and the dying flames of the fire, are warming your bones. You finish the last of the whiskey and put the glass on the coffee table, settling back into Joel’s side, “You want a top up?” He asks, setting his own half-finished glass down.

You look up at him, “Not right now, but I’d like a kiss if you don’t mind?”

“Oh sweet pea, I never mind.” He grins, leaning down to capture your lips with his own.

There’s something in the air tonight that makes you bold as brass. You push yourself up a little so Joel isn’t craning his neck down to you so much, one of your hands coming to rest on his shoulder to steady yourself as you move to loom over him. You pull your lips from him just enough to settle yourself into a more comfortable position before they’re back together, this time, your tongue running along his bottom lip, coaxing his mouth open for you.

You don’t think you’re ever going to get tired of the way this man kisses you. Every time it’s like he won’t ever get the chance again. His big hands are cupping your face, pulling you further down, pressing your mouths closer together. The taste of the whiskey on his tongue is always intoxicating, but tonight even more so. Before you can really register what you’re doing, you throw one leg over his hip so you’re straddling his lap. There’s still a fair amount of space between the two of you, you’re hovering as far above his lap as you can manage, but Joel’s hands are moving from your face, resting on the waistband of your jeans where they are on your hips.

He lets out a quiet moan into your mouth which sends electric shocks down your spine to settle in your tummy and God, you want more. You let your own hands grip his broad shoulders and before you know it, those big hands of his are resting on the globes of your ass, gently palming them through the denim of your jeans. His touch is electric – his hands guiding you to settle further into his lap when you feel it. You sink down just far enough to feel the unmistakable bulge at the front of Joel’s jeans against your own aching core and jolts you. Makes you panic. How could you have possibly gotten this far without even thinking? It makes you want to be sick.

You pull away from his mouth and rest your forehead on his, “I’m sorry,” You mumble, “I’m fucking sorry Joel.”

“Hey,” He speaks, hands moving from your ass back to your face, “Look at me, sweet pea.”

You do, opening your eyes to meet his own, as always, not a hint of anger or frustration on his face, just one of concern, one that he’s pushed you too far and made you uncomfortable, “Why is this so fucking hard for me?” You speak, mostly for yourself.

“Because it’s a big deal,” He says simply, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose, “You don’t have to be sorry about anythin’, it’s me actin’ like a damn teenager when I’ve got a pretty girl on my lap.”

You extricate yourself from his lap, trying not to watch as he adjusts himself so his erection isn’t so prevalent in his jeans. Once he’s gotten himself more comfortable, he finishes off his whiskey before he lets out a yawn. It must be late, the game had gone on for hours and you know he’s got morning patrol tomorrow.

“I’ll get outta your hair,” You mumble quietly, not quite sure why you’re the one feeling hurt now, “Know you’ve got an early morning.”

“Hey,” He grips your arm as you try and stand, “Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Thinkin’ I want ya to leave because we’re not having sex.”

“I don’t think that at all.” You say, defensively.

“Yes you do,” God why can he just always read you like this, “I’m not mad at you sweet pea, I will say it until I’m blue in the face, you take all the time you need,” He leans in as close to your ear as he possible can, “And when you’re ready, I’m gonna be so fuckin’ good to you, you won’t know your own name.”

You gasp, giggling at his words. The longer you’d been staying with him like this, the filthier promises had been dropping from his lips. Never to pressure you, only to promise you exactly what you had in store when you felt able to give yourself to him.

“Well,” You smile, giving his upper thigh a squeeze, “I’ll be sure to think of what that might entail when I get into bed later.”

A smirk appears on his lips, “Only if you tell me all about it tomorrow.”

It’s a few days later when you’re shutting up the library with Kate. She locks the door and hikes her bag higher on her shoulder, “You want to grab a drink at the bar?” She asks, “We haven’t been together in so long.”

You know that Joel is on patrol right now and won’t be back until later, and a drink at the bar usually means a good hearty meal as well, which you would really enjoy against the backdrop of the cold evening air, so you gladly agree. You’d been a few times in the past weeks, mainly with Tommy and Maria accompanying you and Joel, and thankfully, no-one, including Vanessa, had made any comments like the first night, so you were more comfortable there now.

You sit together with Kate, sipping a glass of whiskey and enjoying bowls of venison stew, watching as Ellie sits with a group of kids doing the same, but with glasses of juice instead. Joel had confided in you months ago that he was worried about her fitting in, that she’d struggled to make friends with people her own age, but since she’d started at the school, things had been better. She was attached to Dina and Cat by the hip most of the time, and it was nice to know she was able to enjoy being a kid for once.

“So, how are things going with your man?” Kate teases, dropping her spoon into her empty bowl.

“They’re okay,” You answer honestly, “Slow going, but that’s what I need.”

“I have to say, in the past few weeks you’re almost your old self.”

“Yeah, I feel a lot better to be honest,” You admit, “Like, I still struggle sometimes, but Belinda moved me to one appointment a month and said she thinks I’m finally on the road to a proper recovery.”

“Good,” She smiles, clinking her glass to yours, “And it’s not all him either,” She adds, “Sure he’s rugged and handsome, but don’t let anyone think we’re giving him all the credit for making you happy, you’ve done this all by yourself, you hear me?”

“I hear you,” You smile, taking a sip of your whiskey.

“Now hurry up,” She says, slamming her drink back, “I’ve got a date with Pride and Prejudice.”

You roll your eyes but knock back your own drink all the same, “You’ve read it at least six times since I’ve known you,” You stand, gathering your things, “And you’d still rather read it than spend time with me?”

“Sorry babes,” She chuckles, “But Mr Darcy wins every time.”

As you’re leaving The Tipsy Bison, you’re suddenly all too aware that there’s hell of a commotion going on in the street. The main gates are flung open, and people are shouting and screaming to each other as horses gallop in through the gates. Then, you can see Tommy. He’s dragging someone back through the gates. Then, you realise who it is and all the colour drains from your face. He’s dragging Joel and he’s covered in fucking blood. You bend over and try to not throw up. You can feel Kate at your side, trying to pull you up to standing again, you let her, but you can feel your knees start to buckle as you try and get down the steps and onto the street.

Maria is running towards you; you can see panic written on her face. Kate lets you go for a moment and as you’re running towards Tommy, you tumble down onto the ground, palms hitting the dirt and gravel. In any other circumstance you’d probably register the pain of landing on your knees at your age, but Maria is on the floor in front of you, bringing your face to the crook of her shoulder to shield you from whatever is going on.

“Joel… oh my god.” Is all you can mumble, just his name over and over again into Maria’s shoulder.

Then, you wonder what the fuck you’re doing on the floor. You look up and Tommy is coming towards you, him and another man dragging Joel, who looks to be just holding on to consciousness. You try and push yourself up, but Maria is trying to keep you grounded.

“Let go of me!” You scream, trying to tear Maria’s arms off you, “I have to go with him!”

“Darling, calm down.” She tries to soothe.

“No!” Another roar from your lungs, “Let me see him!”

You’re crying now, tears streaming down your face. You have to be near him. You have to know he’s okay. You can’t do this again, you can’t lose someone else, not like this. You’re trying to suck in breath through your mouth, but you just end up choking on the air as you continue to fight to get away, to follow behind Tommy who has rushed past you. You can see drops of blood on the ground, drop of Joel’s blood, and this is what finally causes you to throw up. His blood, on the floor, that means it’s bad.

You can feel someone else behind you trying to pull you up as Maria helps from the front, trying to get you away from the mess you’ve made from emptying your stomach on the floor. You fall into Maria’s arms again when she wraps them around you, running a hand over your hair to try and calm you down, whispering that it’s going to be okay and that you can see him soon.

Then, in your mind, your brain goes straight to Ellie. You’re whipping around, about to run back into the bar to get her, but when you do, you realise she’s the person who helped get you up off floor.

“Oh my God,” You breathe, pulling her into a hug of her own, “Ellie.”

She wraps her arms around your middle, squeezing you just as hard as you’re squeezing her before you pull away and cup her face in your hands. Her face is just as distraught as you must imagine yours is, although she’s not crying, just has a glazed look in her eye that breaks your heart even more. You don’t need to ask each other whether you’re okay. You both know the answer. You just pull back into each other and hug even tighter, until Maria is touching your lower back.

“Let’s go to the hospital,” She says, leading you both down the street, following the very obvious trail of blood, “Tommy can tell us what the fuck is going on, if nothing else.”

As you’re walking, you’re remembering the last time you made this trip to the hospital. Maria was guiding you then, you were crying then, knowing it was going to be the last time you got to see Mark. The last time you’d get to hold his hand. Watch the slow rise-and-fall of his chest. He was unconscious. He didn’t know you were there. He had no idea you kept hold of his hand right to the very end.

Your feet are carrying you at this point. You don’t feel like you’re inside your body at all, don’t feel at all human. The only thing anchoring you to the real world is Ellie’s hand clutched in your own and Maria’s guiding arm around your waist.

When you step through the doors of the hospital it’s a flurry. It looks as though Joel wasn’t the only one to get injured, although most of the other men in the waiting room look mainly walking wounded and not pouring blood out onto the ground. A nurse is tending to them as best she can, and then Tommy is bursting through the doors at the end of the hall, own clothes covered in blood, but looking like he might have gotten off scott-free, injury wise.

“What the fucking hell happened out there?!” Maria is demanding as she lets go of your briefly to hug her husband.

“It was a fuckin’ ambush,” Tommy spits, noticing Ellie and you stood behind her, shedding his jacket and throwing it to the side so you don’t have to look at the blood, “A whole fuckin’ group of ‘em, waiting us out at the lodge,” He lets Maria go, “Fuckin’ bastard’s took us by surprise, started firin’ all over the place, it was fuckin’ carnage,” He’s checking on Ellie next, “Thought we got ‘em all, and then outta fuckin’ nowhere this one guy manages to take a perfect shot at Joel, right through the shoulder.”

“Can we…” You trail off as he takes you in an embrace, “Can we see him?”

He pulls away, looking at you with eyes that says he’s sorry, and you’re not sure if he’s saying sorry because you can’t or because Joel might be dead. It makes your bottom lip wobble and more tears to spring in your eyes.

“They’re tryin’ to dig a bullet outta his shoulder, sweetheart,” He says, “As soon as he’s comfortable we’ll let you in, alright?”

You nod and let him, and Maria lead you and Ellie to a room that’s empty down the hall. Maria stays sat with you whilst Tommy goes to find something warm to drink, bringing back a flask of coffee that you don’t even bother to ask where he found it. He set a mug in your hands, giving Ellie some water instead, and that’s how you sit for what feels like hours. The room is mostly silent, save for the few times your emotions threaten to get the better of you and you have to take big, deep breaths to keep yourself in control. Your hand stays firmly clutched to Ellie’s; you both take turns rubbing your thumbs over each other’s hands to keep each other calm.

You don’t know how much time has passed, but a doctor is opening the door. He’s got a mask over his mouth, but no gloves on, scrubs with splatters of blood on them. Everyone in the room sits up in their chairs, waiting for the axe to drop, “He’s fine,” There’s a collective sigh of relief, “He’s lucky the bullet got lodged, we managed to pull it out and stitch him up fine, he’s just a little tired from the blood loss,” You finally let out your own breath that you’d been holding in, “He can have visitors, but one at a time.”

You turn to Ellie, “You go first,” You say, pulling her hand for her to stand up, “He’ll want to see you.”

She stands but doesn’t leave to follow the doctor until she’s bent down to give you a bone crushing hug. Tommy follows her out soon after, mumbling something about needing to check on the other guys, which leaves you and Maria alone.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble, suddenly all too embarrassed at your outburst in the street.

“What on earth do you have to be sorry for?”

“All that,” You gesture wildly with your hand, “Out there.”

She gets up from her chair and kneels in front of you, comforting hands on your knees, “Don’t be so silly,” She soothes, “Even I was fucking scared by it all, I know how much he means to you, so you don’t need to be sorry, ever, you understand?”

“I just feel so stupid,” You can feel your tears starting again, “It was just a single bullet wound, why did I act like it was the end of the world?”

“Because none of us knew that?” She offers, “He was almost unconscious girl, there was blood everywhere.”

“I thought….” You trail off, not wanting to admit what’s on the tip of your tongue.

“You thought you were going to lose him too?”

All you do is nod, letting a tear trickle down your face. Maria’s cold hands come up to cup your cheeks, thumbs brushing away the tears, “That man is a stubborn son-of-a-bitch,” She soothes, “Gonna take a lot more than a single bullet to tear him away from you.”

Maria is just lifting herself from t he floor when Ellie comes back into the room, Tommy behind her with his hands resting on her shoulders, “I’m gonna take Ellie home, but he wanted to see you.” He’s motioning to you.

“Will you be alright on your own?” You ask to Ellie, it’s a stupid question, because she’s probably one of the most self-sufficient fifteen year old’s you’ve ever met, but you want her to know that she has you if she needs you.

“I think I’ll probably just crash,” She shrugs, clearly still reeling herself from what happened, “I know where to find you tomorrow if I need you.”

You give her one last hug before Tommy is leading her away down the hall, pointing through the doors at where you needed to go.

When you push open the door to his room, Joel is sat, propped up in bed with his shoulder wrapped up in what has to have been almost all the communes supply of bandages. His face is pale, and you can tell he’s in pain, so you let the door close behind you and stand right there, waiting for him to invite you closer. His shirt is ripped, where the doctor obviously didn’t want to waste time trying to get him out of it in a dignified manner, and there’s blood covering the material and his jeans have a fair splattering of it as well.

“It looks worse than it is, I promise,” He speaks softly, motioning for you to come and sit on the chair next to his bed, “I’m sorry I scared you.”

You shake your head as you take a seat, shuffling the chair closer to the bed, “Don’t be silly,” You respond, “You were bleeding quite profusely, you didn’t need to worry about me.”

He offers you his hand, led on the bed, palm upturned, which you take, wrapping your own hand around his, giving it a squeeze, just to make sure he is really still here, “Are you okay?” He asks, squeezing you hand back.

“Joel, please,” You sigh, “Don’t ask about me when you just got shot.”

“Well, I know I’m okay, and now you know I’m okay, so I’m asking you, sweet pea, are you okay?”

“I was so scared Joel,” You whimper, lip trembling, “I thought- oh god – that I might lose you as well.”

He releases your hand, only to brush the tears from your face before he’s gripping it again, “You listen to me,” He speaks, you look at him, “I have been shot at more times than I remember, it’s going to take hell of a lot more than a bullet to take me away from you, do you understand me?”

You nod, using. Your own free hand to wipe away more tears that have fallen from your eyes, “Can I hug you?”

“Promise to watch out for my shoulder?” He teases, you nod with a small smile, “Then I’d love a hug.”

You stand from the chair, leaning over to wrap your arms around his neck. Joel sits forward just a touch to let your arms snake around him, before his good arm is clutching around you and pulling you down. You let your head drop to the crook of his neck, where you turn and press a kiss to his skin, breathe in his scent, take him all in.

It’s in this moment that you realise you might just have the capacity to love this man. This man who has done nothing but be kind to you. This man who has been so patient and soft and understanding at every marker of whatever this relationship was. This man who kissed you like his life depended on it, clearly capable of such extreme violence that would have kept him alive, but never once showing you that side of him. You can’t say it, not yet it’s too fast, but the panic you had felt at the prospect of losing him meant you knew exactly who he was to you. You could love Joel Miller, you wanted so desperately to love Joel Miller. You just prayed the world would give you enough time together to do it.

Joel Miller Taglist: @winwin70@jessie8605@trulybetty@amanitacowboy@morning-star-joy@tieronecrush@leeeesahhh@babeincolor@beee-haw@kirsteng42@mirandablue1@sixxslut@impala1967dwinchester@flash2412@gimmebackmysoul@kelp-dreaming@gracie7209@voteforpedro09@brittmb115@karokaroxx@amb11@heartfairy @grumpy-the-tired @Lillilotus @doctorstatic@morallyinept@southernbe@elissaa@pop-sugar102@u-luciferssatanicdaughter@alyhull@purplerain44@harryleatherfit@lovely-ateez@emilianamason @bootyliciousposts @lorilane33@casa-boiardi@cupofjoel @dinsdjrn @tightjeansjavi @cavillscurls @darkroastjoel @morning-star-joy

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noturlondonboy · 3 months ago

Note

Touches game, Hugs, 3

Please?

Hugs #3- hugging while twirling around

This one definitely got away from me but I think it’s freaking adorable

——

The day of Kate’s Bishop’s graduation, Yelena was a restless mess. Everything had to be perfect, because her Hawkeye was perfect, and therefore deserved nothing but the best. She paced circles into the floor the minutes her girlfriend had left their home to get ready for the ceremony itself, her cheeks flushed from Yelena’s lips on her cheeks and hand between her legs. A proper send off, if you will. But now that Kate was doing her part on her big day, it was Yelena’s turn.

No pressure, suka.

She starts with cleaning the apartment- easy enough, unless you factor in the two large, energetic dogs that liked to try to help. Their assistance usually looked like chewing on the decorations she was trying to put up, or just causing general chaos. Normally, Yelena would be patient with them and use it as a training opportunity, but today was not that. Fanny and Lucky ended up in their crates, and that was that.

Balloons were scattered, streamers were placed over the entry ways, and a banner spelling out GRADUATE in big purple block letters was hung on the back wall. Among other decorations, Yelena stood back and dusted her hands off, feeling satisfied with herself.

While she was happy with the main room of the apartment, most of her pride was in her work on her and Kate’s bedroom. But that was for the archer to discover later, in the privacy of each other’s company.

——

The stadium is beyond loud, the roar of people here to see their own graduates practically deafening. Yelena had initially flinched and huddled away from it all, but Natasha had dug out her noise cancelling headphones and settled them over Yelena’s ears before it could completely overwhelm her. She shot her sister a grateful smile, nudging their shoulders together before scooting over to make room for Clint and his family. Nathanial wiggled into her lap right away, and the blonde giggled, holding the little boy close.

“How are you, kiddo?” Clint signs to her, his smile easy and tired.

Yelena returns the gentle look and takes her hand from Nate’s hair. “Excited to see our Hawkeye,” she signs back, leaning into Clint’s steady warmth as he wraps an arm around her shoulders and hugs her close.

Bucky is settled in the row behind her, exchanging low words with Natasha and a soft kiss to her brow before he notices that Yelena isn’t focused on Clint anymore. He leans forward and loops his flesh arm gently around her front to hug her swiftly, a kiss pressed into her hair. She smiles brightly and leans back into him, their eyes meeting. The corners of his crinkle in happiness.

“Love you, little bear,” he mouths to her, and Yelena’s smile only grows, her chest warm and heart swelling.

The ceremony officially starts a few minutes later, and Yelena is laser focused on the crowd of graduates as their names are read off one by one. Kate is up relatively quickly, and Yelena takes her headphones off, wanting to hear her girlfriend’s name over the speaker.

“Katherine Elizabeth Bishop!”

Yelena lets out a roar and jumps to her feet, holding Nate on her shoulders as she screams and shouts and cheers, her voice rising above even the giant crowd. Kate’s eyes find hers, so bright and so happy that Yelena finds herself crying. Her Kate Bishop. That was her girl. She was so proud.

The entire rest of the ceremony, Yelena’s gaze is solely fixed on Kate. The archer periodically turns her head to catch Yelena’s eye, exchanging looks and secret smiles meant only for each other. When the last student’s name has been called out and every graduate is once again seated, the Dean stands from her chair and walks to the podium, her smile blinding.

“It is so wonderful to have you all here today, graduates. This day means so much to me, for you. We’ve had such a successful year.”

She talks for a few minutes before Kate’s name catches Yelena’s attention.

”Please welcome our very our graduating class Valedictorian, Katherine Bishop.”

“What!?” Yelena’s jaw drops, her eyes wide as she watches Kate stand yet again and stride to the stage, her stance tall and stride powerful. Yelena is effortlessly turned on. Valedictorian? When did this happen? Surely Kate would have told her about such an important thing?

”She wanted to surprise you,” Natasha tells her quietly after Yelena takes her headphones off.

Yelena scoffs, but her cheeks are glowing and her smile is bright. “Of course she did.”

The blonde listens with rapt attention as Kate speaks, her eyes laser focused on the woman that she loved. Kate was grinning, unable to contain her joy as she stood up there in front of her peers, her cheeks flushed. Towards the end of her speech, she mentions her family and friends, her eyes on all the people that Yelena is surrounded by, and her two closest friends in the crowd of graduates with her.

”And to my darling, my beautiful girlfriend, Yelena.”

Yelena’s breath catches in her throat. Kate’s eyes are right on her, shining a mesmerizing sky blue.

”Without you, I’m not sure I would have made it this far,” Kate says softly into the mic, her smile lovestruck. “You have been the tallest lighthouse for me in the storm that is college. You’ve helped me find who I am, and what it means to love myself. With every late night spent with you, every early morning run in the softness of dawn, every cram session where you made sure I was fed, and hydrated, and helped me study, I have fallen more and more in love with you. You are my world. I can never thank you enough for loving me with the intensity that you do, or for being my partner in the challenges that we face together.”

There are tears in Yelena’s eyes, my jaw slack as she holds Kate’s gaze, her entire body on fire.

Kate suddenly swallows and turns to look at the Dean behind her, and the woman nods, smiling softly. The archer’s shoulders relax, her smile nervous when she turns back to the mic. “Yelena, my love- will you please come join me on stage?”

Yelena blinks hard, sitting up a little straighter. The stage? Her?

Clint and Natasha are both chuckling softly on either side of her, and when they rest their hands on her back to encourage her up, she can’t help but feel that they’ve been in on something she isn’t aware of this whole time.

Kate’s smile is nearly blinding as she watches Yelena maneuver her way to the stairs and walk down to the floor. Is this why they had been sitting so close to the front? When she reaches the stairs to the stage, her steps are wobbly, and Kate meets her halfway, offering an arm to help her up. Yelena holds onto her gratefully, looking up at her archer with a furrowed brow. The brunette only smiles reassuringly at her.

When they get back to the podium, Kate clips a smaller mic onto her collar and turns to Yelena, taking her hands and pressing her lips to each knuckle. Yelena can only stare, her lips parted and eyes wide as her heart flutters and her stomach fills with nerves.

”Kate Bishop…?” she whisper softly in question, only for her darling to hear.

Kate kisses her hand one more time before clearing her throat, her fave nervous but loving. “Yelena Belova, you complete me.”

Oh. Oh. Was she- was Kate…?

”I want to spend every day of my life with you.” The archer swallowed thickly. “There are so many things that I can’t properly put into words, but I hope to be given the chance to try to voice how much I love and admire you every day for the rest of our lives. But to get that chance, I need to start with this.”

Yelena watches Kate sink to one knee. She watches her take off her grad cap and pull a small velvet box from somewhere inside it. She is distantly aware of the dull roar of the crowd screaming their heads off, but all she sees and hears and breathes is Kate Bishop.

Her archer opens the small box to reveal a beautiful obsidian ring, and Yelena feels the tears burning down her face.

”Yelena Belova,” Kate says, her voice strong and sure despite the nerves in her gut, “will you be my wife?”

”Kate Bishop,” Yelena sobs out softly, her voice thick and catching on her tongue as she covers her mouth with her hands. “Oh my god, Kate Bishop.”

She is so beautiful, and she is everything Yelena has ever wanted.

Yelena pulls Kate up onto her feet so that she can kiss her, cupping the archer’s face and slamming their lips together in a breathless tangle. “Yes, yes, always yes,” she sobs into Kate’s sweet mouth, kissing her hard and holding her close.

Kate is crying too at this point, and they can’t hear the roar of the crowd in their own little pocket when Kate pulls back in order to slip the ring on Yelena’s finger. The blonde stares at it in awe for a moment before looking up to meet Kate’s gaze, and the sheer abundance of love she finds there nearly sends her to her knees.

But Kate scoops her up into her arms before she can fall, as she always does, holding her close in a bone crushing hug as she lifts the blonde from her feet and twirls them around. She spins her, and spins her, and spins her, and Yelena never wants it to stop.

#bishova #katelena #yelena belova #kate bishop #kate x yelena #yelena x kate #wlw #ask game #touches ask game #bishova ask #bishova Drabble #Drabble #bishova touches ask game #fanficiton #fanfic #sapphic #lesbian #oneshot #short

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judesmoonbeauty · 6 months ago

Text

Alfons Sylvatica Chapter 2 - Semi-Summary

This is a fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors and translation inaccuracies. This is a SEMI-SUMMARY of each chapter. I am roughly translating this with out much research other than specific lines from certain scenes. Why? Because it's a huge task to translate a main route chapter line by line. So, this is what we're working with, and I appreciate your understanding ♥︎ Cybird owns everything. Re-blogs are appreciated, but please do not post my summaries elsewhere. Minors: Please DNI or consume this content. CW: Dub-Con. Dividers: @/natimiles

Kate wakes up the next morning and finds a shirtless Alfons sleeping next to her in bed. She freaks out and wakes Alfons up in the process who says, “Oh, is it morning already? Good morning, Kate.” She recalls how he came to her room the night before, kissed her and then they went to bed, but no lines were crossed at this point because he knew her body was too tired, but even so did they do other activities that only “lovers” do….she wasn’t sure.

Alfons: Did you have a good dream last night?

Kate: W-wha……from where….

The blurry line between dreams and reality were a shock to her, the fear from last night and the pleasurable kiss they shared was so real, but it still felt like a dream and she couldn’t help, but feel upset. Alfons laughs at her in amusement, and his smile makes her back away from him covering her naked body with the sheet.

Kate: Wow, did you do something to me?!

Alfons: Yes, I did. I did a lot of nice things.

Kate: I didn’t mean that…..!!

She frantically tries to remember why she thought that Alfons was her lover, knowing there must be some kind of trigger. She has a flashbacks to him in her room and the mission prior to that:

Kate: Worried?

Alfons: Yes, isn’t it obvious?

Alfons: Because - you are my lover.

Alfons: You’re dreaming. You’re having a very pleasant dream.

Back to the present, she recalls him touching the nape of her neck and him whispering to her in both instances, and then recalls the pile of dead bodies before he touched her. She mentions that he used his ability on her, and surmises it’s the ability to use illusions. He admits to it and then commends her deductive skills while breaking out in applause. However, he clarifies that his ability is to rewrite perceptions by simply touching the nape of ones neck and whisper, and she asks why he did it to her?

Alfons: Why, because…..it’s fun of course?

Alfons: Poor little robin, thrown into a cesspool of evil.

Alfons: You’re the funniest toy I’ve ever seen.

Kate: …..!! (Kate slaps his cheek.)

Kate: Disgusting……

Alfons: I like your reaction, much better than last nights.

Alfons laughs without straightening his clothes and flutters off her bed, and tells her that if she ever wants to cry again then he’s there for her. She screams “No, thank you!” and throws a pillow at him. Afterwards, she heads to the dining room for breakfast and Alfons is sitting their nonchalantly. She wants to turn on her heel, but she resists and takes a seat. Victor starts talking to her about the mission from the night before, and she asks what happens after she was hypnotized. Did they call the police? William explains to her that in East End there have been many murders, arsons, abductions etc. and yet the police chalk it up to something that “always happens in the slums”.

Kate watches the expressions of those around her: Liam & Harrison listen quietly to the information, Elbert looks down melancholically at it, Alfons doesn’t seem interested in the subject at all, and then there’s those whose eyes sparkle with joy…….“That’s where Crown comes in,” says Victor. He explains that rumor has it that the administrators of the orphanage and poorhouse are responsible for the series of incidents. Last night’s mission was a little prelude to gather information. William says that they are trying to uncover the reason all the administrators are banding together; is it money, ideology, or pleasure? “What do you think”, he asks her.

Kate says she doesn’t know and she can’t of a single reason as to why someone would want to do that, as she recalls the scene feelings well up in her chest making her feel like she’s trapped in a dark place. Alfons chimes in, “Well, you don’t need to know. It’s a hassle.”

Alfons: Some children die in this world without anyone knowing. That means there are some who think they’re nothing more than rubbish to be cleaned off the street.

Kate is stunned by such a statement from him, is this a brazen dereliction of duty despite Crown being tasked with such cases? They stare at each other and he smiles.

Alfons: - It doesn’t matter.

(It doesn’t matter?!)

Alfons: Miss Kate, are you sure? You don't want to hide this.

He taps his own neck and Kate is like, “neck”? Hide what? Liam starts to ask, “Hey Kate, isn’t that….”, and Ellis follows up, “It’s a hickey.”

Kate: What?!

Ellis peeks at her from behind and she covers her neck with the palm of her hand.

Kate: Wh-wh-why....…

Alfons: Well, because……that’s what I did to you, isn’t it?

Kate: …!

Her cheeks flush and Harrison asks Alfons if he’s already touched her? Alfons laughs and asks Kate how he should answer that question, but she is so embarrassed that she can’t say anything. He taunts, “Aw, you can’t say anything?” But, it’s not possible of knowing what really happened last night, and while she is struggling as to what to say, Jude enters says, “What, ya already been devoured? I’m sorry to hear that,” and lets out a loud laugh.

Kate: I’ve not been devoured!

Alfons: That’s terrible…..that you kissed me so passionately, but you were just playing around with me……?

Kate: ….. Weren’t you the one who played with me?!

Liam: Ah.

Harrison: Ahhh.

Ellis: You just admitted it.

Kate: Huh—!?

Alfons: Pfft, ahaha! This is the best, Kate!

Alfons: Victor, will you make her my exclusive?

Kate: What do you mean my ”exclusive”?

Kate wants the situation from escalating any further and Alfons explains that they’d be partners, buddies, a tag-team or whatever she wants to call it. Victor thinks it’s a great proposal after their hot night together, and Alfons says that he must take responsibility for their one night stand, but Kate doesn’t sense any sign of sincerity in his voice. Victor says that he doesn’t care as long as Kate agrees to it, to which, she declines saying she hates the idea. Alfons threatens her with, “Don’t say! If you do, I don’t know if I’ll do that again or not.” She is upset, but it was also her fault for not kicking him out of her room last night as soon as he entered, and Victor warned her that many members of Crown were morally bankrupt.

William makes the suggestion that Kate only accompanies Alfons on his missions and outside of that, she doesn’t need to be around him. Kate still doesn’t like the idea, but it’s better than being with him 24/7, so she agrees and Alfons says it’s fine.

Alfons: Well…..I look forward to working with you, Kate.

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#alfons sylvatica #ikevil alfons #ikevil translations #ikemen villains #Ikémen villains translations #IkeVil JP spoilers

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moeitsu · 4 months ago

Text

The Tie Which Linked My Soul To Thee

Ch 17 - To Watch The Dying of the Day

Summary: Say, isn't it strange? I am still me, and you are still you. In this place. Isn't it strange how people can change? From strangers to friends, friends into lovers. To strangers again.

Ao3 Wattpad Masterlist - All Chapters Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

A/N: Oh gosh, it's been so long! A mixture of burnout and chaos will do that to a girl. But it's here, coming in at a strong 7k words. It's on the shorter side, especially since my previous chapters have been anywhere between 10-13k words. But this chapter is transitioning us back into the main story. So do with that information as you will, its going to be a bumpy ride....

TW: None really, just hella angst.

Tag List: @photo1030 @ariacherie @thatweirdcatlady @ultraporcelainpig @marygillisapologist @eternalsams @lunawolfclaw

**please let me know if you would like to be tagged in future chapters!

StoryTags: Widowed, Original Character(s), High-Honor!Arthur Morgan, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Arthur Morgan Deserves Happiness, Chubby!Arthur Morgan, Canon Divergence, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Eventual Smut, Eventual Sex, Eventual Romance, Emotional Sex, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort,Touch-Starved, Sexual Tension, Friends to Lovers, Child Loss, Infant Death, Trauma, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Torture, Blood and Violence, Survivor Guilt, Aftermath of Torture, Caretaking, Injury Recovery, Period-Typical Racism, Anxiety, Self-Hatred, Night Terrors, Emotional Constipation, Self-Doubt, Men Crying, Bathing/Washing, Sweet/Hot, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff

“Are you out of your goddamn mind, John?” Abigail’s voice echoed through the camp as the tent flaps were shoved open harshly by the young man, who only ignored her comment. He was making a beeline for the one person he needed to complete his team—the one person he knew would stand by his side to enact revenge on the men who nearly took his brother's life.

Kate was chopping celery and carrots for an afternoon stew when she heard the heavy footsteps of John approaching. His gaze was determined, each step fueled with a fiery purpose. She glanced up to see Abigail standing not far behind him, arms crossed in frustration, throwing her hands in the air as John continued to ignore her protests. Kate already knew what he was going to ask of her.

John had found Colm O’Driscoll’s hideout, and he was ready to take action.

Kate placed the knife down with a sigh. Since their return from Emerald Ranch, things had been relatively calm. At least as calm as life could get when you were running with a bunch of outlaws, hanging onto the threads of some "plan" by a man she barely trusted. When they arrived back from their trip, Sean and the boys had planned a small party for Arthur—a ‘Celebration of Life,’ the ambitious Irishman had called it. Though it was more likely just another excuse to drink beer, dance, and be rowdy.

They used the get-together as an opportunity to tell the others about their relationship. Kate drank and sang with the girls, talking with them into the late hours of the night about her time with Arthur. Their small circle was filled with ‘aww’s’ and teasing glances. Kate felt a weight lifted off her shoulders after telling them, like somehow their relationship was finally real now that the rest of the gang knew—at least the ones most important to her.

Arthur was gradually reintegrated into jobs and missions, starting with small fishing trips and eventually moving on to more lucrative endeavors like robbing stagecoaches. Kate protested at first, trying to convince him there were safer ways to make money, but she knew she couldn't take the thrill of the heist out of the outlaw so easily. Arthur found work where he could, especially when Dutch wasn’t ordering him around. All of Arthur’s worries about being replaced seemed to dissipate in the days after his return. Dutch, ever the charmer, appeared overjoyed that Arthur was making a steady recovery and happy that his son found some happiness in a woman. He couldn't resist leaving Arthur with a gentle reminder that their priority was, and still is, to make enough money to escape. Arthur assured him with a promise: he would see it done.

This morning, Dutch sent Arthur, Sean, and Micah into Rhodes to meet up with Bill. Sheriff Gray wanted to speak with them about some work, and Arthur felt mighty proud to be involved, given his month-long absence. After breakfast, Kate pulled him aside for a few quick good-luck and be-safe kisses. It had become a new habit of theirs, since alone-time was rarely granted. They always made sure to say goodbye when one was leaving for a job, sealed with a kiss and a hug.

Kate looked up at John from under the brim of her hat, wishing in that moment Arthur was there to set him straight. But she knew nothing was going to change the young outlaw’s mind.

“Kate,” John greeted with a nod, his tone indicating he was ready to say more.

Wiping her hands on her raggedy apron, she leaned against the cutting table. “Fine afternoon, ain’t it, John?” she said with a smile, squinting up at the sun.

John wasted no time. “We’re ridin’ out today, to Hanging Dog Ranch. You coming?”

“Is that so?” She sighed. “What for?” Kate’s voice carried a hint of feigned ignorance. She knew why, but she was still trying to find it in herself to say no.

Since their ride back from Emerald Ranch, Kate had wrestled with Arthur’s words. She knew revenge was foolish, but seeing the way it had changed him cut her so deep she feared she would carry that rage with her for a long time. It was the same rage she felt years ago when she lost everything. Back then, her anger often consumed her, but over time she learned how to control it, to use it to protect herself and others. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to keep her word to Arthur, but also to protect him.

“You know why, Kate,” John’s voice grew stern, pulling her from her thoughts. “Colm’s men are up there. This is our chance.”

Kate’s heart clenched. She wanted to protect Arthur, to ensure that what happened to him never happened to anyone again. But she also knew that succumbing to vengeance could destroy her just as easily as it could destroy their enemies.

“John,” she began, her voice wavering slightly, “I promised Arthur I wouldn’t get swept up in this mess.”

John’s expression softened a moment, but his resolve remained firm. “I get it, Kate. But we need you. If we don’t take this chance, we might not get another.”

Kate huffed and lowered her voice so only he could hear, “Does Dutch know about this? Doesn’t he have a plan to get back at Colm?” She tried to make him see reason in her questions.

John only shook his head. “To hell with his plans. The way I see it, Colm doesn’t see us as a threat anymore. He tried to lay a trap and set the law on us. Well, he fucked around and it's about time he found out.”

Kate rolled her eyes at John’s ambitious statement. “John, no. I can’t go through with this and you shouldn't either.” She planned to leave him with that, pulling the apron over her head and starting to walk away.

John grunted and followed behind her, his frustration growing more evident. “C’mon, Kate, quit pussyfootin’ around. We need you, and we’re losing daylight.”

Kate turned and saw behind him as the others began saddling their horses and loading their weapons. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw Sadie packing her saddlebags, and her heart began to race as Lenny waited proudly on the back of his stallion, ready to take off at a moment's notice. Charles was there too, making his way over to see what the hold-up was. She was surprised to see this was the group that would be leading the charge. But, after all, these were Arthur’s closest and most trusted comrades.

Consequently, they were also the people Kate cared for deeply and saw as her own family. They were all putting themselves in harm's way for the sake of revenge.

“What would Arthur say about this?” Kate said finally.

Charles had finally caught up to them and heard the last bit of the conversation. “Arthur would say revenge is a fool’s game,” he stated.

“Exactly, thank you Char-”

“But those are his words, not mine,” Charles interrupted.

Kate pinched the bridge of her nose as John continued his persuasion. “Arthur’s the goddamn fool. We need to strike back, now. What if they come after us again? What if this time Colm takes one of the girls, or you?”

Kate felt the weight of John’s words settling heavily on her shoulders. The thought of Colm’s men taking her or any of the other women gnawed at her heart. She couldn’t deny the logic in John’s argument, even if it went against Arthur’s wishes.

Looking past the two men, she saw Lenny waving to her as if simply asking, "What are you waiting for?" John must have told them she would be joining, as Sadie looked over in anticipation, already holding Lorena’s reins, ready to leave as soon as Kate gave the word.

“Charles,” she began, her voice deep with conviction, “you’ve got a level head. This is a bad idea. How could you go through with this?”

Her words came out with a bite, unintended, but they stung nonetheless. Charles had always been a beacon of reason, often the one she or Arthur leaned on in times of need.

Charles' response betrayed no hurt, only his own sense of determination. “These bastards deserve it. Arthur suffered enough.”

Kate found herself seething at his words, anger bubbling up like black coffee neglected over a fire for too long. The gang knew Arthur better than she did, Kate understood that much. But nobody had watched him suffer like she had. Night after endless night, holding his broken body and cradling him as she willed with all her strength that the pain and tortuous nightmares would cease. Her thoughts drifted to the night of their shared intimacy, seeing how Colm had broken him in unimaginable ways.

Nobody understood the extent of his suffering, except for Kate.

“Sadie suffered by them too,” Charles added after a moment.

“We’ve all suffered from the O’Driscolls!” John exclaimed with a defeated sigh. “Choose your battles, Kate. But we’re going to send a message to Colm, whether you come or not.”

The two men turned to walk away, their boots kicking up dust as they marched back to their horses, saddled and ready for battle. Moments later, a third pair of footsteps fell in time behind them.

Kate had made her choice.

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

The dry spell had lingered for well over a month, and the oppressive heat of Lemoyne had turned the air into a stifling, dusty haze. The town of Rhodes lay beneath a thick, barren cloud of yellow dust, each gust of wind sending particles stinging into Arthur’s throat and eyes, making them water. The winds whipped past him as he spurred Belle forward, urging her faster and faster. His grip on the reins was white-knuckled, his breath coming in sharp, shallow gasps as he tried to steady his racing heart.

The Sheriff had caught on to their schemes, and set them up in Rhodes. Sean had paid the ultimate price with a bullet between the eyes. The image of Sean’s lifeless body was seared into Arthur’s mind, a haunting image he knew would never leave him. He shook his head, trying to dislodge the relentless memory that played over and over like a broken motion picture. Sean had been on the cusp of becoming a man, his 24th birthday just a few months away. Though Arthur gave him grief since the day he joined their gang, deep inside he saw the ambitious Irishman as his younger brother.

The irony of the situation gnawed at Arthur’s consciousness. Sean had warned them it was a setup. He had sensed something was off from the moment they entered the sleepy town, but both Arthur and Micah had dismissed his concerns as mere paranoia. Now, anger swelled in Arthur's belly, especially toward Micah. As much as he despised the shady outlaw, Arthur couldn’t deny that he wouldn’t have made it out alive without his help. Micah recognized that Arthur’s injuries had hindered his abilities, though his accuracy remained as deadly as ever. Together, they had picked off nearly every lawman and trigger-happy drunk who stood in their way, barely escaping with Bill in tow. Arthur knew his disability had slowed him down, and he blamed himself for Sean’s loss.

The escape was a blur of gunfire and chaos. Arthur's mind raced with the events of the ambush, replaying each moment as a jarring blend of fear and fury. Belle's hooves thundered against the ground, each stride a desperate attempt to outrun the mix of anger, guilt and shame that threatened to overwhelm him. The acrid taste of dust and blood lingered in his mouth, a reminder of the violence they had scarcely escaped.

As they galloped through the barren landscape, Arthur's thoughts turned to Kate. He knew she would be waiting for him back at camp, a small comfort amidst the chaos. But the moment of peace would be short lived, they would have to leave again, and soon. The law would catch up to them in a matter of days.

The thought of facing Dutch made Arthur cringe inwardly. Dutch would undoubtedly demand a report of what happened, and Arthur knew it could go one of two ways: Dutch might dismiss the incident, as he had when Arthur previously warned about their increasing sloppiness and the Pinkertons closing in. Or he might tuck-tail and opt for retreat to a new hideout, favoring the path with the fewest casualties. Either way, Arthur was in for an earful back at camp. He silently hoped that someone would go back for Sean, praying he wouldn't be discarded in a mass grave. Every man deserved a proper burial, but for people like him and his gang, it was a luxury rarely granted.

As Clemens Point came into view, a deep sense of unease settled over Arthur. The camp seemed unusually quiet, devoid of the usual bustle and chatter. An eerie silence had taken its place. He panicked for a moment, what if the law had found them while he was away?

Arthur barely had time to dismount before Abigail came running towards him, tears streaming down her face. Dutch was close behind her, his expression grim. A chill ran down Arthur's spine.

Abigail grabbed Arthur's arm, her voice trembling with panic. “Arthur, they took Jack! Someone took Jack!” she cried, her eyes wild with fear.

Dutch placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, though his eyes were hard with determination. “We’ll get him back, Abigail. I promise you that,” he said firmly.

Arthur opened his mouth to explain what had happened in Rhodes, but the urgency of the situation left no room for words. His mind was whirling with this new information, trying to piece together what happened while he was away. There was a moment of silence, and Arthur’s heart skipped a beat as he realized Kate was also nowhere to be seen.

“Who took him?” Arthur said finally, his voice betrayed no hint of the unease he was feeling.

Hosea stepped forward, his expression was dire. “We believe the Braithwaites have taken Jack. They’ve been gunning for us ever since we crossed them,” he explained.

“Where is my son?” Abigail shouted. “If anything–oh God,” she choked on the words. “Where is my son Dutch!”

“We will find him,” Dutch affirmed, clenching his jaw, eyes blazing with resolve. “We’ll make that Braithwaite bitch pay for this.” He surveyed the three men as Bill and Micah stood awkwardly nearby, unsure what to say. “What the hell happened to you three? Where’s Sean?”

Arthur took in Hosea’s words and then let out a breath as he shook his head. “They set us up, Dutch. Sheriff Gray killed Sean, nearly got Bill too. We shot up half the town trying to escape. If we’re not careful about this, we’ll surely be caught by the law.” They were in deep shit now, both families were gunning for them. They couldn't afford another casualty, let alone young Jack. The situation tore at his heart.

Dutch’s eyes darkened, his mouth set in a tight line. Arthur recognized that look—it was the look of a man out of options. “We’re getting that boy back, Arthur, or so help me God—”

At that moment, the thunderous sound of hooves echoed down the path to their hideout. Arthur's hand hovered over his revolver, his mind still in fight-or-flight mode. As the riders emerged from the trees, he saw John leading the group, with Kate at the rear. A wave of relief washed over him; at least the law hadn't caught up to them yet. But as they drew closer, Arthur noticed Kate's clothing was stained with blood. His relief quickly turned to a mix of worry and dread.

As John dismounted, Abigail flung herself into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably. “They took him, John! They took our boy!” she cried, her voice breaking with desperation. John shot a confused look at Arthur, his own emotions swirling with shock and concern. He held onto Abigail, trying to process the chaos around him.

Dutch's voice cut through the commotion like a knife, demanding answers. “How nice of you to finally show up. Where have you lot been?”

“Taking care of business,” John replied dryly, his grip on Abigail tightening as he tried to make sense of the unfolding crisis. The air was thick with urgency and panic, even the winds seemed to hold their breath, anticipating the next move.

“What business?” Dutch spat, his agitation palpable as he glared at his returning crew members. The tension crackled like electricity in the air, setting everyone on edge.

Arthur's heart pounded in his chest, the rapid beat echoing the chaos of his thoughts. Sean's death, the ambush, Jack's disappearance, and the blood on Kate’s clothes all swirled in his mind. He moved with heavy, purposeful steps toward Kate, his focus narrowing to her alone. He tuned out the escalating argument between Dutch and John, his attention solely on the woman he loved.

“Kate,” he called, his voice rough from the dry air and his mounting anxiety.

She turned at the sound of her name, immediately reading the worry etched into Arthur’s face. Noticing her bloodied clothing, she quickly reassured him, “It’s not my blood.”

Relief flooded Arthur, and he pulled her into a tight hug, inhaling her familiar scent. The rhythm of her heartbeat against his chest provided a momentary solace amidst the turmoil.

“What’s going on?” she whispered, her breath warm against his ear as she pulled away slightly.

“Rhodes was a trap. They set the law on us, Sean’s dead,” Arthur briefly explained, his voice heavy with grief. Kate gasped softly, her eyes widening. “We just got back, and Jack’s missing. Hosea thinks it was the Braithwaites.”

Kate stood speechless, feeling the weight of the world crashing down around her. "Oh, Arthur, we have to—"

Arthur gripped her arms fiercely, his eyes burning with a mix of confusion and betrayal. Desperation etched into every line of his face. “Where were you, Kate?” he demanded, his voice laced with hurt and anger.

He hadn’t meant for the words to come out with such force, but his mind was a whirlwind of doubts and anxiety. Jack could be dead for all he knew. The thought of an innocent child being involved in this nightmare gnawed at his soul. Despite everything, Arthur blamed himself for Jack's disappearance. He cursed himself for not ensuring someone was watching over the boy when he left. Normally, there were plenty of people he and Abigail trusted with Jack, but those people had been gone nearly as long as he had. He desperately needed an explanation for her absence.

Kate pulled away from his grip but held his hands tightly, her gaze filled with guilt. Arthur’s heart began to sink, a cold dread settling in his stomach. “We were up at Hanging Dog Ranch,” she breathed. “Where Colm’s men were hiding.”

Arthur’s gaze hardened, a cold look crossing over his features. “I don’t s’ppose you were there to play hooky?” he spat, sarcasm dripping from his words. He felt the world spinning around him, losing Sean, losing Jack, and now, feeling a profound sense of betrayal from the woman he loved.

Kate shook her head quietly, her cheeks flushing pink with shame. “Arthur, I—”

Arthur’s grip on her hands tightened momentarily before he let go. “You promised me, Kate,” he said, his voice breaking. “You promised you wouldn’t get involved with Colm.”

Kate’s heart shattered at the pain in his eyes. “I know, and I am so sorry. But I thought—”

“You thought what?” Arthur interrupted, his voice rising with a mix of anger and fear. “You thought this would help? That getting yourself killed would make things better?”

Kate’s eyes filled with tears, her voice trembling slightly. “I just wanted to protect you and the others from those terrible people.”

“That is not your job, Kate!” Arthur shouted, and Kate flinched, taking a step back from him.

Arthur let out a breath, shaking his head, the betrayal cutting deep. “You just don’t get it, do you? You don’t understand what it does to me, seeing you put yourself in danger like that.”

“I see you put yourself in danger every day,” she answered meekly, her voice wavering with a mix of fear and frustration.

“Don’t make this about me,” he said sharply. “I trusted you to keep that promise.” The life he lived, the life she had joined, was a dangerous one. And Kate wouldn’t be the first woman he lost to such violence. Born from a promise that he broke, costing the life of his family. If he had lost her and Jack in the same night, he feared what he would unleash upon himself.

“I’m sorry Arthur,” Kate breathed deeply, tears finally spilling over and streaming down her cheeks. There was an old selfish ache deep in her soul, a desperate need to make them suffer for taking someone from her. Her fear of loss drove her every thought, every action, every breath. It had consumed her, nearly losing herself during Arthur’s recovery. Kate had never known anything but grief and loss. Holding on so tightly to her sliver of happiness that she was smothering it. Her selfish need cost her Arthur’s trust.

“Kate,” his voice was softer now, laced with deep sorrow. Arthur shook his head, “I can’t go through this again.” His eyes softened, though the hurt remained.

Kate opened her mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come. She felt a dark sense of dread, knowing that despite her intentions she had broken his trust and his heart.

The weight of the moment pressed heavily upon them, a suffocating silence settling in. Arthur’s eyes, filled with a mix of anger and hurt, searched hers. The pain of his words, the pain of her actions, it all mingled together in a storm of emotions that neither of them could escape. A deeper love that remained unspoken.

Before she could find the words to make things right, Dutch’s voice boomed across the camp. “We’re not waiting another damn minute! Mount up, we’re riding out to get Jack back now!”

Arthur turned away, his expression unreadable. “I’m glad that you’re home safe. I wish I could say the same for Jack,” he said, walking over to mount his mare once more. The other boys were saddling up, the tension in the air thick with anticipation.

Kate stood in stunned silence, tears streaming down her face. The fear of losing Arthur, the guilt of breaking her promise, and the terror of what lay ahead gnawed at her. She felt an overwhelming sense of helplessness as she watched Arthur ride off into the night, leaving her standing there with her heart in pieces.

As she watched the men race down the winding path out of Clemens Point, she noticed Abigail's trembling form. Abigail was using her apron to wipe the tears that stained her cheeks. Kate swallowed her sorrow, pushing down her own broken heart. This was about Jack and Abigail.

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

“I bet this has something to do with why you got shot to hell in town.” John’s voice broke Arthur from his clouding thoughts. The trees raced past them in a blur, and Arthur hadn’t even realized his brother was riding right beside him.

Arthur’s mind was a whirlwind of anxiety and turmoil. The events of the day had left him feeling raw and exposed. The setup in Rhodes, Kate’s actions, and now Jack’s abduction—all of it weighed heavily on him. The feeling gnawing at his insides.

“I don’t want to think about that right now, John,” he answered, trying to push the memory of Sean's lifeless body out of his mind. “We have to focus on Jack.”

John’s voice rose with anger, a mirror of Arthur's own inner turmoil. “I swear, I’ll kill every single one of them.” The desperation in his voice was palpable, and Arthur could sense the fear behind his brother's bravado.

Dutch’s voice called from the front of the line, a forced calmness trying to steady the group. “Easy, John. Try to stay calm. We’ll make them pay for this.”

“What about the plan, Dutch? Isn’t this family sitting on gold?” Bill’s voice cut through the night, his ulterior concerns evident.

Hosea answered, his tone grim and weary. “I hate to break it to you, but there is no gold. I’ve turned every stone. If they ever had any, it's gone.”

“For Christ’s sake, Hosea, after everything? Another perfect plan fed to the dogs,” John retorted, his voice laced with bitter frustration. Arthur felt the same anger bubbling up inside him—another one of Dutch’s schemes that had led them into danger and kept them on the run from the law.

“We underestimated them,” said Hosea, his voice heavy with regret and concern.

“No, they underestimated us!” Dutch roared, his voice echoing through the trees. “Enough talk. There’s no point arguing how we got here. This is where we are. And we are going to kill every one of those inbred trash.”

Arthur’s grip tightened on the reins, his knuckles white with tension. The thought of what lay ahead mixed with a fierce determination to bring Jack back safely. His heart pounded in his chest, a relentless drumbeat of anxiety and resolve. As they rode on, the night closed in around them, a shroud of darkness and danger. The only sounds were the thunder of hooves and the heavy breathing of their mounts. Arthur’s mind was a storm of emotions, the weight of his responsibilities pressing down on him.

The ride to Braithwaite Manor was filled with a tense silence, each man lost in his own thoughts. Arthur’s mind kept drifting back to Kate. They were close now, and there was no turning back. Jack’s life was at risk. The stakes were higher than ever, and the weight of their mission rested heavily on his heart. There was no room for distraction or hesitation.

Dutch’s voice broke through the silence, a final order before the storm. “Nobody makes a move until I say so. Follow my lead.”

The tension in the air was electric as they approached the manor, each man ready for the fight of their lives. As they dismounted, Arthur’s thoughts turned briefly to Kate once more.

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Kate couldn’t sleep. The lamp was down to the midnight oil in the small green canvas tent that the Marstons called home. She had stayed with Abigail while the men were out in search of Jack. She couldn’t tell how long they had been gone; her weary mind drifted in and out of consciousness. She tried to stay alert for their arrival, or for anyone else who might try to abduct another member of their gang.

Abigail slept beside her, her cheeks tinted pink from tears. She clutched Jack's nightgown tightly to her chest, inhaling the scent of her child, her whole world. Kate understood that feeling. She looked down at her hands, the dim light flickering across her fingers. Old blood was dried into the cracks of her nails. Images flashed before her eyes of the violence that had defined her day. She had unleashed herself on Colm’s men, disregarding her promise. And consequently, she had neglected the safety of those left behind at camp.

An acidic queasiness settled in her belly. It had felt good to kill those men. By some miracle, or perhaps coincidence, she had found Arthur’s captors amongst the men hiding at the ranch. The two men had recognized her, though she had no idea how. They had never met before. But like most cocky men, they boasted about Arthur’s torture and the pain they would inflict upon her. Little did they know who she was.

Keeping them alive as the last two men standing, Kate gave them the same courtesy they had given Arthur. She made sure they would never use their arms again, and strung them up by their ankles. Finally, she sliced open their bellies, their blood draining like pigs for the slaughter. Her friends watched in cautious silence. And when she was done, she mounted Lorena, and together they left the ranch without so much as another word.

It was justice, Kate tried to convince herself. But no, it was a deep selfishness. One that an old friend had stoked like flames to a fire. Perhaps it was in her nature, to lose lives and take them. All of the people Kate was, and tried to be, were always a part of her. The mother, the nurturer, the defender, and the killer.

She regretted her actions, but selfishly, she would do it all again. The thrill of revenge had brought her a temporary sense of control, a fleeting moment where she felt powerful in a world that constantly threatened to strip her of everything she held dear. But as she sat in the tent, the reality of her choices weighed heavily on her. She wasn’t sure if she could ever reconcile the different parts of herself—the woman who longed for peace and the one who couldn’t escape the violence that had shaped her life.

Exhaustion finally overcame her. The flickering light of the lamp faded as she drifted into a restless sleep, haunted by the faces of the men she had killed and the fear of what might come next.

When Kate awoke the next morning, the first light of dawn seeped through the tent’s seams. She reached out instinctively, but the space beside her was empty. Abigail was gone. Panic gripped her heart as she sat up quickly, straining to hear the muffled voices outside the tent.

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Arthur stood at the back of the crowd, his eyes scanning the faces around the small wooden table where Dutch sat, the tension palpable in the air. Dutch was deep in thought, the weight of leadership pressing heavily on his shoulders as the gang awaited his orders. Abigail stood silently next to John, her face a mask of fury and desperation. Her tears had dried, replaced by a seething anger at the men she had trusted to protect her family, now arguing over their next move.

The Braithwaites didn’t have Jack. They had passed him off to a man named Angelo Bronte. Arthur’s mind raced with strategies for their next step. Bronte was supposedly in Saint Denis, the heart of the new modern America, where law was heavily enforced, and policemen patrolled every corner. They needed to be cautious. Any misstep could end with them at the end of a rope, and that wouldn’t help Jack at all.

As Arthur idly rubbed his wounded arm, the pain a constant reminder of his recent ordeal, he replayed the events of the night over and over in his mind. They had stormed the Braithwaite manor, killing everyone who stood in their way. But they had been too late. Dutch had shot Catherine Braithwaite without hesitation and ordered the house to be burned to the ground. An entire empire, a long-standing family, wiped out in an instant.

He was lost in his thoughts when a gentle touch on his arm brought him back to the present. Turning around, he found himself face to face with Kate. The memory of her actions, the betrayal he felt, and the look in her eyes were too much to bear. He quickly averted his gaze.

“Arthur,” she began quietly, her voice trembling with worry. “Where is Jack? Is he—”

Arthur shook his head, cutting her off. “They didn’t have him,” he said curtly.

“W-what did you find?” she stuttered, her voice edged with panic.

He knew he was being cruel by withholding details, but the turmoil inside him made it difficult to be gentle. With a sigh, he turned to face her again. “They handed him off to some Bronte fellow. Jack is somewhere in Saint Denis.”

“I don’t understand, why would they do this? What do we do now?” she asked, her voice rising in desperation.

Arthur gestured towards the group of men who were still arguing heatedly. “They’re working on it,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Feeling incredibly defeated, Arthur’s thoughts were a blend of frustration and sorrow. He had thought things were getting better. After nearly dying from sepsis, he had started to find comfort and joy in Kate’s presence. But now, everything seemed to be falling apart. Sean’s death had barely been processed, overshadowed by Jack’s disappearance. His recent fight with Kate had left a gaping hole in his heart, the urge to mend things with her gnawing at him. But there was no time for feelings right now.

The gang was on the brink of a precipice, and Arthur knew they needed to act quickly and decisively. As much as he wanted to fix things with Kate, Jack’s safety had to come first. Pushing down his own emotions, he focused on the task at hand, knowing that every moment they delayed could bring them closer to disaster.

“It’s gonna work out, John,” Hosea’s voice joined the commotion, his tone reassuring. “Jack will be fine. Just listen to Dutch.”

Dutch’s voice cut through the din, authoritative and calm. “I don’t expect you to understand this, but I need your trust. Your word, now more than ever. No more running off behind my back. I know you were trying to do the right thing—”

“If I don’t get that boy back safe, I’m—” John shot a glance at Abigail, who stood trembling with a mix of anger and fear. “She’ll kill us all.”

“Looking at this logically, that boy is fine. They only took him to scare us. Nobody takes a child to harm him,” Dutch continued, his words meant to be comforting but failing to ease the tension.

“It’s true, John,” Hosea chimed in, placing a reaffirming hand on his shoulder. “Arthur, what do you think?”

Arthur sighed, shaking his head slightly. They were all trying to be strong for John, but deep down, they were just as scared. They’d seen what this world could do to children. The cruelties of their life were too real, too close. There was no guarantee Jack was safe.

“The boy will be fine,” Arthur lied, trying to steady his voice. “But of course, Marston’s scared rotten. We killed all those people, stirred up all that trouble…for nothing.”

Dutch scoffed from his seat. “No. No, not for nothing. For living. We get that boy back, and we go. It’s about time we leave this place. Trust me.”

Suddenly, Lenny’s voice boomed from the camp entrance. “Dutch! We’ve got a problem!” He shouted, rifles raised and pointing at two strangers who walked into camp with their hands held high.

Arthur’s mouth went dry. It was the Pinkertons. Agent Ross and Agent Milton.

“Not a problem, visitors. We come with a solution,” Milton said coldly, his demeanor relaxed and confident. His gaze found Arthur’s. “Ah, Mr. Morgan. Nice to see you again.”

Instinctively, Arthur stepped in front of Kate, shielding her from whatever was about to unfold. The other gang members began to surround the two agents, their suspicion evident. Dutch betrayed no hint of surprise, remaining seated comfortably.

“To what do we owe the pleasure, Agent Moron?” Dutch said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

“I don’t know if you’re aware, but this is a civilized land now. We didn’t kill all them savages only to allow the likes of you to act like human dignity was not yet invented,” Milton explained, his disdain palpable. “This thing? It’s done,” he spat.

Dutch finally rose from his seat, confronting the agent. “This land was never civilized. It’s consumed with man’s love for greed.”

“And that lets you take what you please? Kill whom you please and hang the rest of us? Who made you the messiah to these lost souls you’ve led astray?” Milton retorted coldly.

“I’m nothing but a seeker, Mr. Milton,” Dutch replied.

“You’re nothing but a bunch of killers. But I came here to make a deal; you come with me and I’ll give the rest of you three days to run off and disappear. I’m giving you one last chance to live like decent human beings.” Milton’s voice rose, addressing everyone in the gang.

A bitter chuckle rose from Dutch’s throat. “Ain’t that a fine thing? You risked death by coming into a den of murderers and thieves to have me. And to give them the chance to live and love?”

Kate remained quiet behind Arthur, her hand ready to draw her pistol at a moment's notice. But she sensed that this man, this detective, was telling the truth. Why would he risk so much for one man unless he was out of options?

“I don’t want to kill all these people, Dutch. Just you,” Milton answered, his resolve unwavering.

Dutch raised his hands, a hint of mockery in his voice. “In that case, I’d be happy to join you, Agent Milton.” As he stepped closer to the detective, everyone simultaneously began to draw their pistols.

Kate watched the moment unfold with genuine concern and admiration. These people, Arthur’s gang, were willing to risk everything for one man. Their loyalty and dedication ran deeper than she could ever imagine.

It was Ms. Grimshaw who leveled her shotgun and gave the final orders. “I think it’s time our new friends leave.”

Agent Milton raised his hands once more as Lenny and Javier began to escort them out of camp. “You’re making a big mistake, all of you!”

“The only mistake is how you keep following us. Good day, sir,” Dutch said, turning away, suddenly unbothered.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. And when I return, all of you will die. Run away from this place, you fools!” Milton’s tone carried a desperate warning. As he turned to leave, his gaze locked with Kate’s for a moment. He narrowed his eyes, trying to piece together her familiar face, but Javier’s gun pushed him along.

“How dreadful,” Dutch chuckled as he returned to his seat.

Arthur approached Dutch quickly, his steps heavy with the weight of the situation. “What now?”

“We get out of here. Have the women start packing. I’m sending you and the others to look for a new hideout. We’re running out of time,” Dutch said quietly, his urgency clear.

As Arthur turned to carry out Dutch’s orders, his eyes met Kate’s once more. The pain and fear were mirrored in their gazes. There was no time for reconciliation now. They had a mission to complete, and the stakes had never been higher.

“Arthur, maybe we should consider—” Kate began her voice quiet, searching for the right words to address their precarious situation.

Arthur spun on his heel so fast it made her dizzy. “Don’t. Don’t you even suggest it. You don’t have a say in this anymore, Kate.” His rage towards the Pinkertons and his anxiety about the lives at stake spilled out in hot bursts towards the woman he loved, and he couldn't stop the fire from spreading.

“Excuse me?” she responded, her voice a mix of offense and hurt. “I only want what's best for the gang.”

“The best thing to do now is leave. Go help the women pack,” he ordered, turning away from her.

“When does it end, Arthur? This cat-and-mouse game you have with seemingly every lawman in this country. How many more people have to be killed for it to stop?” Kate’s voice wavered with her fading strength. It was all too much to handle; everything was changing so fast. And now an innocent child was involved. She didn’t know what to do.

Arthur’s voice roared back, “I don’t know! Make up your goddamn mind, Kate. You go back on your word and put a target on your back. And now you want to lecture me on my poor choices? If you’re tired of running, you can leave. I won’t stop you.”

He left her with those words, his steps heavy and final. The men took off without a moment's hesitation, Ms. Grimshaw dishing out orders to begin loading the wagons. Kate felt a bitter moment of déjà vu, back to the day at the Downes ranch. She had scolded him for his actions, as if she were one to reprimand him. Kate had glimpsed the kind of man he truly was that day—the hardened outlaw, the merciless killer. She knew there was a kind heart inside him, and she had fallen in love with that part of him. Convinced herself that she could persuade him to leave it all behind, to give up that title for something softer. Arthur wanted it too, but only now was she beginning to understand the giant inside him. The man who had never known peace, who spent every moment fighting for his life and the lives of his family.

Arthur was consumed by his loyalty, as Kate was consumed by her grief. The realization hit her hard, and she felt a deep, gnawing sorrow. She watched him mount his horse, his back tense with determination and anger. The bitter truth settled over her like a shroud—no matter how much they loved each other, the world they lived in was tearing them apart.

A/N: I hope this chapter was alright! To be honest I went back and forth over this conflict for a while, and I think that’s where the birth of my writers block began. I wasn’t intending for their fight to become so heated, but then i was like “you know what? Their situation is a crock of shit, it can’t all be sunshine and rainbows.”

(Also trying to squeeze this in while simultaneously returning to a major plot point of the game was really hard haha)

So yeah, i may have gotten a bit carried away. But fear not, my summary for this chapter was incredibly dramatic. They’re not breaking up! They just got to figure themselves out, and come to understand one another. I want to make it clear that Kate has just as many flaws as Arthur, and that she suffers in silence too. God these two really need each other 😭

I think this was my first time writing some serious angst that didn’t involve one of them nearly dying (lol). So let me know how I did! It’s been awhile since I updated this story, and sometimes things can get lost to the tricks of time. If you notice any inconsistencies or plot holes please don’t be shy to point them out to me! 🙏❤️

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #ao3 fanfic #rdr2 fanfic #arthur morgan x original female character #red dead fandom #arthur morgan x reader #ao3 #arthur morgan x oc #fanfiction #arthur morgan rdr2 #lots of angst #hurt/comfort #mostly hurt im sorry #rdr2 fandom

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stephaniebrownslover · 7 months ago

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HIII WELCOME MEE

FIRST I WANT TO SAY I REALLY LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE. YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVORITE CP WRITERS IN TUMBLR (Seriously, no joking)

Can you please write Kate x Nina's relationship for your main AU?

(Also it's one of my fav ship, I wanted to read my fav ships hcs by my fav writers)

I WAS ALMOST FORGET, HAVE A GOOD DAY/NİGHT :3

HIIIIIII AGAIN LOVELY PERSON!!!!

Bro. Bro stop saying things like this because I'm literally about to cry. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH

I really love and be surprised when people like my writing because of my self-esteem issues lol you have no idea how your kind words make me so happy and and make hate less from my writing style so thank youuuuuuu

I appericate you so much and and you're so sweet and nice and cool and awesome and cool and kind and sweet and and and

Okay I think I'll have an heart attack sorry if İ bothered you but I'm truly so grateful for your kind words<3333

I love NinaKate so much so of course I can do it for you even if I'm dying lol

(Ps: it wasn't seasonal allergies, turns out, it was the beginnig stage of pneumonia and bronchitis lol)

Also you can check this non-canon NinaKate headcanon post I made some time ago too!!

Okay but I can't get over how nice the words you say, really, I'm thinking about it since I saw the ask.

Sorry it's more like how they became friends and Nina and Kate lore but it would be so long that I had to split it into 2 parts. Hope you don't mind.

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT AND DAY TOO!!!!

Holy shit it's angst, I really didn't mean to...

NinaKate Romantic Relationship For My Main AU-Part I

Seeing each other for the first time

Nina has been known among the proxies since the night when Zalgo controlled her at the age of 15 and helped her find Jeff. Slenderman didn't want to take her with him because he didn't see any benefit to himself since Zalgo had reached out to her first, but he hadn't given the order to kill her yet just because he was curious about what would happen.

Nina was unaware that it was a ritual to summon Zalgo when she practiced one of the love spells she found on the Internet at the age of 13. Zalgo, seeing potential in her because of her obsessive love, followed her for 2 years, did not leave her alone. And since he decided it was the perfect time to take her with him, he took control of her body at the age of 15 and had her kill her own family.

Regaining control while plunging a knife into the heart of her younger brother Chris, Nina then felt so bad that she ran to the woods near her home. Zalgo led Nina through the forest, aiming to convince her that all this was Slenderman's and Jeff's fault and get her to the stage of wanting revenge. There she met Jeff, but Zalgo's plan backfired, as she hugged him and cried instead of hating him as he expected.

Kate had never seen the newcoming stray killer that Slenderman wanted to get rid of face to face before, but she had heard about the descriptions of her appearance and that she was a weird person in general. Since she was already someone who had been drifted away from humanity for a while, she had no reason to meet her, and these rumors didn't help either.

Kate, who was only 16 years old, had been a proxy for two years and had no one because of the fact that Masky and Hoodie were too focused on their own worlds and she didn't like them either. Rouge, Cody and Toby were not yet a proxy. So she was alone with Hoodie and Masky, who didn't even want to talk to her because they were afraid of her, and she wasn't looking for any human relationship.

She had experienced a hellish life until she was 14, but since she became a proxy, she has literally not been a human being. Although she had all the necessary human characteristics, she was not treated as a human, she did not think like a human, she did not feel like a human. That's why she was Slenderman's favorite proxy, since the whole purpose of her living was to fulfill his duties. The fact that she unconditionally accomplished everything he said made the others even more distant from her, but there was no problem for Kate. After all, she was no longer a human being.

It's been a month since Nina started staying in the same cabin with Jeff. Actually, she could have gone back to her old life since Zalgo destroyed the traces of that night, but Nina didn't know about it yet. Since no one else was trying to communicate with her, she thought that Jeff was the only important thing in her life, and she was holding on to him with all her strength. Although Jeff felt sorry for her at first, they started arguing because he was getting overwhelmed by her sticky attitude.

One day, when Jeff was drunk and really hurt Nina's feelings, Nina ran away deep into the forest to calm down. After walking for a while, she realized that she had lost. Moreover, this time, since both sides considered Nina worthless, there was no one to guide her through the forest. Nina was completely lost. She crossed to the foot towards a tree and let the tears flow, which she could no longer hold back. She was crying not only for this moment, but for everything. Most of all, because she was a bad person, and the fact she deserved all this.

Kate was returning from a mission. She was incredibly injured, and if people really cared about her, they wouldn't have let her walk on her own. Actually, Hoodie, with whom she had gone on, had offered to help her, but Kate's snarling with hatred indicated that she had responded negatively to his offer, and Hoodie's fear of Kate had caused him not to insist any further. After all, Kate knew that no one really wanted to deal with a non-human proxy who was at the age of 16.

That's why Kate was staggering through the forest alone, trying to ignore the pain and depth of her wounds. She just needed to get to Jack's cabin. Ann had just arrived, and Kate still didn't trust her. She had many reasons not to trust a zombie. Smiley hadn't started working for Slenderman yet either. So Jack was the only one Kate could go to, and despite her bleeding wounds, she was trying to get there as quickly as possible.

Kate, who was trying to walk, heard a crying sound. It... it was a human cry. She didn't know what she had to do. She kept walking, thinking that she didn't need to do anything because she knew she wasn't a human. But there was something in that crying sound which bothered her. This stranger's voice was filled with more pain and anger than she had ever heard before. Although Kate was not ready to face an enemy, she decided to check the source of the sound.

The person crying was none other than Nina, whose name was mentioned only with hatred and contempt.

Their first real meeting

Kate watched Nina for a while without making a sound. She did not know why she was crying, and frankly she had wondered what made her so sad. Because as far as she heard from others, Nina was a person who was cheerful enough to annoy and never got upset. And obviously, Kate was surprised to encounter a sight that was the opposite of the rumors she had heard.

Just when Kate decided she had watched enough crying and was getting ready to leave, Nina, who heard the sounds Kate was making, shouted in that direction. Kate would never normally have made such a fatal mistake, her injuries had made it difficult to control her body and she hated it. She hated being weak.

When Nina screamed again, Kate knew she had to do something. Her first thought was to quietly leave the environment, but she was not in a good enough condition to do so, and Nina was not an enemy. So, Kate thought it would be enough for her to just say hello and introduce herself.

When she appeared, Nina tried to suppress her sobs and stand up, but she fell to the ground since she sprained her leg. While Kate was only frowning at this situation, Nina was thinking about how useless and incompetent she was, which is why her crying became more intense.

Not knowing what to do, Kate slowly went up to her and held out her hand to her. On her first attempt, she had pulled her hand out regretfully before she even reached the halfway point, but when she saw how upset Nina was, she tried to overcome her hesitation. Kate was sure that she had been disturbed by the sound of her crying, and that she had been so kind as to make her cease her voice. However, in reality, it was just a proof that her humanity had not completely died.

Although Nina wanted to hold her hand, she suddenly saw how badly Kate was injured, and Nina immediatly pulled the hand she was holding out to hold Kate's and took support from the tree. She then stated that she did this because she did not want to hurt her any more, but was grateful for the offer of help.

Then nervously asked if Kate, who she knew was not the enemy, could take her back to Jeff's cabin after someone checked Kate. Nina didn't know where she was supposed to go, but she was sure that the person in front of her knew. She had seen the proxy mark on her wrist from her torn clothing.

Kate only responded with a shrug and started walking slowly. Nina also went after her, hoping that this was a signal for her to follow the proxy. Along the way, although Kate occasionally looked at Nina, Nina didn't mind it. Nina had noticed that she was an observant person, and she even thought it was cute.

After a walk, they arrived at Jack's cabin, where Nina randomly asked Kate questions to distract her own mind from sad topics, and Kate sometimes gave audible answers, while most of them were in body language.

Kate knocked on the door and asked Jack if he could take a look at her wounds. When Jack called her in, Nina was standing in front of the door because she didn't recognize him. But later, when she saw Kate making a movement signaling for her to come inside, she entered the cabin and closed the door.

After first Kate's wounds were taken care of, and then her own leg, Jack insisted they should stay here. He said it was too late even for a proxy and the killer to be roaming the forest, and explained that he had enough places. He also mentioned that Kate wouldn't need to come all that distance for her check-up the next morning.

Nina, who heard the word , only burst into sobs. Killer. That's how people must have see her now. As someone who takes lifes of innocent people for no reason. She knew that her idol was a murderer, but she had convinced herself that his victims were for a purpose. That's why she hated herself while glorifying Jeff in her eyes.

While Jack was trying to calm her down, Kate also bizarrely asked why she was crying. Nina was angry at being asked so clearly, so she yelled and told what had happened to her. She said how she had a wonderful family, but now they're nine floors underground because of her own stupidity. And what a terrible big sister she was.

While Jack was patting her on the back just to calm her down, Kate said it wasn't her fault. She even tried to explain that she was aware of what Zalgo had done, and that Nina was considered lucky to have survived with this much, as Kate was someone who had seen even worse.

Nina, on the other hand, was only more annoyed and asked how she was considered lucky. Her life was completely ruined, she had nowhere or no one to go to. Then Kate told her that the cops weren't after her, that she didn't have to live this life like herself. She sat down next to Nina and controlled herself, even though she wanted to put her hand on Nina's back.

Nina was surprised now. She asked Kate about her own story. Nina wanted her to tell her why Kate was here, why she was a proxy. And Kate just paused.

She said she didn't remember.

She mentioned that she had no memories of before the age of 14. Hearing this, Nina felt an incredible sense of pity for the young proxy standing in front of her. Nina may have had bad memories, but at least she had good ones too. She thought what a terrible thing it was to not know who she was. Not being aware of the existence of anyone who loves her. Not having a real life.

And quite instinctively she took hold of Kate's bony hands, which were like ice.

Kate didn't know what to do. She reflexively withdrew her hand, but she also knew that Nina had not done it for any malicious purpose, and her apology was a proof of this. Then Kate said it was okay for her to hold her hand and placed it back on her own lap. Nina grasped her hands tightly once again.

She told Kate that not having a past did not pose any problems. And Nina even got a little overexcited and said that if she wanted, they could build a future together as friends.

Kate, on the other hand, was literally shocked. While Kate was content with just nodding, Nina excitedly let go of Kate's hands and clapped her owns in the air. This was how their friendship, which was quite meaningful for both, began.

The beginning of their friendship

That night they stayed in the beds that Jack had made for them. Nina was acting incredibly protective of Kate's injuries, and Kate felt that day for the first time in years that she was worthy of being cared for as a person. Of course, this feeling was not long-lasting, but it was enough to create an involuntary smile on her lips. And that was enough for Kate for now.

Nina was constantly jumping from topic to topic while talking, occasionally not neglecting to ask Kate questions about her own thoughts. Nina realized that she was someone who didn't like to talk too much, and she didn't see extra talking as a problem because she knew that Kate was really listening her.

Kate, on the other hand, was starting to feel more and more comfortable answering Nina's questions. Maybe this could have been due to her slowly creeping sleep, which came under the influence of medications. After saying goodnight, she finished talking. However, realizing that Nina may have thought that Kate was bored with herself, she offered that Nina could come to the proxy cabin for a few hours tomorrow if she wanted.

Nina instantly accepted this with the joy of having found a new friend. Although she was physically hurt while sleeping that night, she was emotionally relieved. A voice inside her was saying that they would both be good for each other.

Kate kept her promise. After the necessary check-up the next day, they set off for the proxy cabin. Nina was upset that Jeff hadn't called her even though she'd been away all night, but she didn't care about it as much as she usually did. Because she was no longer alone, she had a friend.

It was good for them that there was no one in the cabin. Both Kate didn't want to deal with others, and Nina wasn't ready to meet someone else yet. For a while they just hung out doing nothing and just chatted.

Kate then timidly asked Nina if she liked to play video games. Nina mentioned that she sucked at games and explained that's why she only watched other people play. Kate, on the other hand, in an even more shy manner, said that Nina could watch herself if she wanted to.

They played games for hours that day. They did not stop playing until nightfall came. And then Kate offered to take Nina to Jeff's cabin before it got too dark. Nina was actually staying alone in the same cabin with Jeff and Ben. Because they were considered one of the first inhabitants of the forest, and apart from the proxy cabin, other cabins had enough place for maximum 4-5 people.

Kate was very angry when she saw that Jeff was rude to Nina while dropping her off at the cabin, but when she saw that Nina was generally happy, she didn't say anything to avoid upsetting her. Then, when she was going to say goodbye to Nina and leave, Nina stopped her and gave her her number. Nina didn't have anywhere to write, so she asked if it would be a problem if she wrote in Kate's hand, and when Kate said yes, she wrote down her number. Then Nina asked for her own number and registered it.

After saying goodbye, Nina was waving enthusiastically to Kate from inside the cabin. Kate, too, shyly waved to her gently. When Kate turned around, she couldn't help but smiling.

When Kate came to the place where she was staying, she had a strange feeling inside. She wasn't sure what it was, but she liked it. Then, while she picked up her phone to check if there was any important message from Masky and Hoodie, she saw Nina's new message.

"Hiiiii, thx so much for helping me!!!!! Hop i can see ya soon sweetie :3333"

That day, Kate had found a real friend for herself. Maybe it could have been her first friend in her life. And she was glad of it.

Nina had found herself a true friend. Someone who really cared about her and doesn't use her for her own interests. There was a pleasant feeling in her.

Holly hell how long this shit is-

Also Nina's message might be out of character, English is not my main language and I'm not used to writing like that.

Sorry for shitty writing but I'm sick as hell

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wandabear · 1 year ago

Text

WISH YOU WERE HERE - WANDA MAXIMOFF X FEMALE READER

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Summary: 17 years ago, a New Jersey high school girls’ soccer team travels to Seattle for a national tournament. While flying over Canada, their plane crashes deep in the wilderness, and the surviving team members are left stranded for nineteen months. Based on Yellowjackets

Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. Here.

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THIS CHAPTER HAS SERIOUS WARNINGS: +18 Angst, death, violence, blood, mentions of abuse and allusion to anthropophagy -cannibalism- if you squint; minors dni. Please, as I said before, this is going to be harder on this chapter. And I'm responsible for letting you know that, but if you don't like it, you can choose not to read it. Or skip the 'BEFORE' and go to the 'NOW'. ㅤㅤ

Author's Notes: I must clarify again, all of them are 18 years old or more. Many characters -not the main ones- will not survive, and some will act in a way that is not okay. That doesn't mean I hate them or I don't like them. I just need the story to make sense.

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CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN FINALE

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCHAPTER SEVEN

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ㅤㅤBEFORE

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That night marked the beginning of one of the worst moments of their lives. The horror got worse when they came back to the cabin, found the worst scene they could have imagined.

Many of the girls were on a completely psychedelic and dangerous trip due to the intake of alcohol and hallucinogenic mushrooms. Others didn't seem to have survived the overdose. ㅤㅤ

Natasha ran over to Yelena when she saw her throwing up in the bushes, Kate standing next to her, completely pale. The blonde didn’t stop crying and vomiting, kneeling next to the body of her girlfriend, her best friend, her soulmate. She was gone. ㅤㅤ

The night that should have been special, turned into a nightmare that many couldn't easily overcome.

ㅤㅤ

“How did you know where to find us?” Y/N asked Jules, trying to be strong when Wanda cleaned her face so she wouldn't have infections. Y/N had a severe cut over her swollen eyebrow, cheekbone, and lip. Two huge bruises in the rib area.

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Those who were feeling better were trying to get over the nasty hangover. While those who didn’t seem to be very well, were in the kitchen.

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“It was the deer woman.” Jules murmured almost imperceptibly, covering herself with a blanket. She felt awful chills, trying not to pass out from hunger and dehydration. “She told me to.”

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They all looked at each other not knowing what to say. Half of them were high, so they weren't going to judge her, but Y/N, Wanda and Natasha seemed pretty worried.

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Yelena frowned. “The fuck are you talking about?”

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Jules kept her blank gaze. “She said that she hates mischievous evil man… and and- I did it-”

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“What does that mean?” Nat asked this time, it was strange that Jules was the only one who managed to hear that ‘voice’.

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“I DON’T KNOW, I WAS DRUGGED!” Jules finally snapped and then began to cry. It felt horrible, and they all seemed to want to know the reason for everything. Except for Wanda, who seemed grateful.

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“Guys, you're asking too many questions and some of them can't even put two words together.” Wanda tried to bring peace. “She just saved us.”

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“She just… YOU WERE HIGH WITH FUCKING MUSHROOMS!” Hope moved closer to Jules, not in a very nice way. “You killed someone because you were high! You killed our coach! The only adult who could guide us in this madness!”

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“Hey, don't talk to her like that!” Natasha stood up and pointed at the girl, making her step back. “You were too while you were drooling the ground like a fucking worm.”

ㅤㅤ

“I killed him because he was going to do something to Wanda!” Jules sniffed, a little surprised that Nat stood up for her.

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“Well, we don't know now how it was because the Coach is dead!” Sharon huffed, but those words earned everyone's attention. ㅤㅤ

“Excuse me? Are you saying that I'm lying?” Wanda frowned, leaving that towel aside. Y/N was about to get up and hit Sharon, but didn’t because Wanda placed a hand on her shoulder.

ㅤㅤ

“The fuck is wrong with you?!” Y/N screamed anyway, feeling a shooting pain due to the swelling.

ㅤㅤ

“All I'm saying is we should listen to both sides...and one is dead. Chopped. TWICE.” Sharon shook her head, perhaps a bit sorry for her words or perhaps she still believed in that.

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“I was there, he wanted to…” Wanda swallowed hard. “h-he wanted to do things against my will... And if you don't believe me, just look at Y/N's face.”

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Y/N sighed deeply, trying to calm down. She was furious, especially with herself. Feeling so guilty and angry, how did she let him touch Wanda? How had she been so useless? She couldn't protect her.

ㅤㅤ

FIVE DAYS LATER

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Things didn't seem to improve between them, much less in survival. According to Jennifer, they have been there for three months now, and now winter has arrived. It could be seen in their faces, their bodies, and their spirits.

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Their lips dry and cut due to the cold, they were kept warm thanks to the fire that was lit all day. And sometimes even the blankets weren't helpful.

The worst came when some of them began to have flu symptoms, they were treated in the attic but without any kind of help, the condition progressed to pneumonia and died.

ㅤㅤ

The loss of those girls created a massive rift in them. The ones who believed that what happened to Jules had some kind of epiphany, and who just believed that it had been pure coincidence.

Strangely, those who first criticized her later began to treat her differently.

ㅤㅤ

Wanda sighed deeply and looked at the water in the bucket. Her pale hands turned red as she began to scrub the clothes. She didn't know why she did that, maybe because she didn't want to freeze to death in a corner. It was just water, they didn't even have soap anymore.

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“Are you okay?” Y/N knew it was the stupidest question she could ask, but did it anyway. Wanda was far from being okay, like all the other girls.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N was coming back from the day's hunt, which wasn't a hunt but more like wandering through the cold woods and looking for something to eat.

Her face was still hurt, although the swelling gradually disappeared, those wounds were beginning to heal slowly too., those wounds were beginning to heal slowly too., those wounds were beginning to heal slowly too.

ㅤㅤ

She took Wanda's hands, completely reddish from the cold, and caressed them to keep them warm.

Y/N knew that Wanda was having a difficult few days after Ward attacked her. Although the brunette tried to hide it, Y/N knew that the sadness inside was increasing. Nobody deserved to go through that.

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah, I'm just doing some laundry for myself.” Wanda only kept her gaze lowered, hadn't been feeling well for days. “I don't like keep on wearing the same clothes, even if it's stupid and doesn't make sense.”

ㅤㅤ

“Makes all the sense in the world, okay?” Y/N smiled tenderly and caressed her cheek, making Wanda look up. But even though those expressive green eyes could show all the love she felt inside, Y/N could also see the sadness and fear.

ㅤㅤ “I’m scared, detka.” Wanda said in a shaky voice, about to cry. Although she tried to be positive, everything seemed to get worse. “I don't want to die.”

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“I won't let anything happen to you.” Y/N said worriedly, cradling Wanda's face in her hands.

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“I want to do so many things, you know? I want to go out with you on a nice date, I want to visit New York too.” The sokovian finally cried. “I want to tell everyone that I love you…”

ㅤㅤ

“Wands…” she whispered; Y/N's vision was clouded by tears.

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“I want us to go to dinner with my parents, because I know they will adore you. And- and I want to live, I don’t want to die here.” Wanda finally burst into tears, hugging her girlfriend tightly.

Y/N just closed her eyes, allowing the brunette to cry for a while. ㅤㅤ

However, when she looked up to look out the window, Y/N could only see something beautiful and terrifying at the same time. It was snowing, and that could only mean the worst.

ㅤㅤ

ㅤ

Tired of listening to how some of them argued with each other, the redhead decided to go out for a moment even though it was cold. Nat left the cabin and noticed how Jules was wrapped in a blanket, watching the trees. “Hey… It's cold here.”

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But Jules didn't even answer.

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“It’s snowing…” Nat continued even though the dark-haired girl still ignored her. Snowflakes fell again and again, sealing their fates. “It used to be something beautiful.”

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“I just want to be alone.” Jules murmured, settling in between the covers.

ㅤㅤ

“It's understandable when you've got fifteen girls in there talking for three months.” Nat smirked. She was trying to be nice to Jules, for the first time.

ㅤㅤ

Natasha just sat next to her, but far from making the brunette's heart race as so many times before, Jules just kept her gaze on the trees. Lost. ㅤㅤ

“Half of them think I'm special or something, and it just freaks me out. I'm sick of it.” Jules swallowed, she hadn't been the same since the Doomcoming. “Half of them thinks I'm crazy… Maybe I am, I don't know what to think anymore.”

ㅤㅤ

Natasha turned to see her, a warm look this time. “You saved the girls, that's what matters.”

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“I can't think about it, only the blood on my hands.” The lump in her throat made it difficult for her to speak. “And every time I get colder and hungrier. We are.”

ㅤㅤ

She turned to see Nat, both of them sharing a moment and a necessary connection.

For the first time, Natasha felt like wrapping her arms around Jules and not letting her go. Maybe because she felt that Jules wasn't looking at her the way she used to, and that affected her.

But the cabin door opened and a blonde came out of the house, walking towards them. Carol was holding a book, quite dusty.

ㅤㅤ

“Jules, come here. You must see this.” The blonde took Jules's hand and pulled her; Carol seemed more excited than the girl. They all entered the cabin again. ㅤㅤ

“Easy, Danvers. What are you talking about?” Natasha frowned, noting that Jules didn't seem to want to but she did it anyway.

ㅤㅤ

“We found this book behind some old wood in the attic, under where we found the symbol, remember? The rare symbol under the guy's corpse.” Carol exclaimed excitedly. “You are the link with what surrounds us, with the wilderness. That horned or deer woman whatever, it’s… it’s the wilderness.”

ㅤㅤ

They all seemed quite confused, especially Y/N who was coming out of the kitchen with Wanda.

ㅤㅤ

“I’m not-” Jules said, her lips twitching uncomfortably. “I was just hallucinating.”

ㅤㅤ

“We found this in the stuff of the guy who lived here.” Helen Cho picked up the book and brought it closer so they could read it. Jennifer looked at it a bit skeptically.

ㅤㅤ

‘Deer Woman and the Myth…’ Jennifer couldn't finish reading what it said, the book was destroyed by mold. ㅤㅤ “It says here that the deer woman hunts men who have hurt women or children. She punishes them. See?” Helen and Carol looked excited. “It's what happened to you!”

ㅤㅤ

“That's not what happened.” Jules frowned, already more tired of all this. She's sick of everyone expecting something different than what it really was. “I killed Ward, I was high, that fucker was abusing one of my friends, that’s it.”

ㅤㅤ

“Yes, but-”

ㅤㅤ

“You both are taking this too far! This is just a stupid book full of myths and legends.” Natasha finally intervened between them.

ㅤㅤ

“Well, I do wanna know what it says there.” Sharon stepped forward, crossing her arms, ready to face them.

ㅤㅤ

“A lot of stuff in French but-” Helen muttered, opening the book and pointing to several old yellow pages. “It looks like the guy wrote some things at the bottom of the book.”

ㅤㅤ

“…‘she… it wants blood’.” She tried to translate the French, narrowing her eyes. “Spill blood and you will get what you want. Something like that.”

ㅤㅤ

“That’s creepy.” Yelena frowned, walking away from that book. ㅤㅤ

Pietro came over to take the book and look at it, those girls were definitely starting to lose their minds. “I knew that guy was up to no good. Burn this now if you don't want to go crazy.”

ㅤㅤ

“But if you think about it, he's right. The guy.” Carol tried to convince them, or perhaps convince herself to believe in something before giving up and die there.

ㅤㅤ

“What are you talking about?” Y/N finally snapped. “He killed himself!”

ㅤㅤ Wanda stayed by her side, watching everything.

ㅤㅤ

“No, but... Every time someone dies, the wilderness rewards us with something.” Helen seemed so excited about it, she looked crazier than usual and that was already a lot. She used to be quite a quiet girl. “When Ward and the girls died, that boar came to us and let you kill it, remember? We ate for days… When Monica died of pneumonia a month ago, that flock of birds crashed into our cabin.”

ㅤㅤ

The mention of Monica made Pietro clench his fists, but he said nothing. Just let the others take over.

ㅤㅤ

“That was pure coincidence!” Y/N chuckled wryly, couldn't believe what she was hearing. “We were lucky! That’s it!”

ㅤㅤ

“You don’t know that!” Sharon snapped. “Maybe we should give that thing more deaths to feed us.”

ㅤㅤ

“What the fuck, Sharon?!” Natasha's eyes widened. She went too far.

ㅤㅤ

“Have you gone completely crazy?” Y/N yelled, several seemed quite surprised or pissed by the blonde's words, others not so much.

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“I'm starving, and don't act like everyone doesn't think the same!” The blonde reached out to take the book from her friend's hands and pointed at them. “We are weak, we barely manage to wake up in the morning and get more wood!”

ㅤㅤ

“Yelena can't even catch a fucking fish, you're closer to catching a cold-” Hope added.

ㅤㅤ

“сука! The lake is fucking frozen!” Yelena yelled angrily, also insulting her in Russian.

ㅤㅤ

“It's winter, the lake froze over and we haven't eaten anything but bug or belt soup for a fucking week. A FUCKING LEATHER BELT.” Sharon got fed up and took off, going up to the attic. Many girls followed after them, clearly choosing a side.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N and the girls looked at each other, knowing that this would bring nothing but madness.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed deeply, feeling how the cold froze every part of her skin. They were lucky to have a few furs and clothes to survive outside for at least a few hours. Their noses and sensitive parts of their faces were red and bruised from the cold. Nat walked beside her, trying to brush away the snow as they walked through the trees.

ㅤㅤ

“They're acting strange.” Y/N whispered, Natasha loaded the rifle ready to shoot whatever they saw.

ㅤㅤ

“I know. What Sharon said yesterday... they're losing their minds.” The redhead wrinkled her nose and pointed towards one of the trees, thinking that maybe it was a bird but then she noticed that it was just leafs. “Fuck! We all are. I thought that was a damn bird.”

ㅤㅤ

“I don't know what's wrong with them but if Sharon looks at me like that again, I'm going to throw her off a cliff.” Y/N growled, climbing a huge rock to observe some movement around them, but only saw snow and trees.

ㅤㅤ

“We’re hungry. We need to eat protein, and it's already started to snow. Yelena can't fish anymore, and we can't find anything.”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N looked worried. Natasha was always their leader, ever since she joined the team. If she didn't know what to do, then they were lost. “What are we going to do?”

ㅤㅤ

“I don’t know.” Nat looked at her sadly, there were only a few more hours to walk before the sunlight went out.

ㅤㅤ

Hours later, both returned to the cabin completely exhausted and discouraged. They had found nothing, not even a wretched worm to catch.

They all looked at them hopefully, like every afternoon, but they did not bring empty hands.

ㅤㅤ

“You’re okay?” Wanda asked quickly, reaching out to help them remove their clothes and move them closer to the fire. They could take a hot bath in the tub with water that they heated on the firewood, but sometimes it was better to only do it in extreme cases.

ㅤㅤ

But Sharon intervened, arms folded, growing weary. “AND? Did you get anything?”

ㅤㅤ

Neither said anything, they simply kept their gazes on the flames that flared as much as Sharon's anger. Y/N shook her head.

ㅤㅤ

“I see you guys come back empty-handed like the losers you are, and I thought you couldn't be more useless.” The blonde spat, moving from one side to another like a caged animal. Now it wasn't just Sharon, but some of the girls. “You two are death itself.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do you want to say it to my face? Huh?” Y/N finally snapped, rushing towards her but Nat stopped her. “I’ll fucking kill you! I'm done with you!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do it, PLEASE, at least we would have something to eat!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The screams drew everyone's attention, who came into the room worried. Natasha kept trying to stop Y/N, but Sharon made it pretty difficult by saying that stupid thing. “Don’t say that! What the hell is going on with you?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We already tried your options, and it got us nowhere. You two go hunting every day and come back empty-handed.” Some girls nodded.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It's hard when there's nothing but damn snow!” Y/N huffed. “The river is frozen-”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We have nothing else to eat but the bones of the birds that crashed into the cabin, and I'm sick of dead bird soup!” Sharon spat out the poison, turning to look at the others. “This is fair… Who thinks we should try our option now?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Sharon, I understand that you always wanted to be the center of attention, but shut up already.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We have already tried, letting you go hunting and they have not brought anything.” This time it was Carol who said that, surprising her friends especially Y/N and Jules. “Maybe it's time to try something new.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean, Carol? You can't be serious.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Someone has to die.” Helen held up the book, pointing to the pages.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just opened her eyes wide, unable to believe what she was saying. She just shook her head, taking Y/N's arm to calm her down.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re insane.” Jules laughed wryly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You can't do this, it's madness.” Natasha giggled sarcastically, she really couldn't believe the stupidity and ignorance she was hearing. “It's an old book by a fucking suicidal guy! doesn't it tell you something?!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry? Have we gone back to the time where we had to sacrifice people?” Wanda said annoyed and disgusted just thinking about it. “Have we gone that far?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Well, you tell me, four-eyes. We are heating water in pots and living by candlelight.” Sharon hissed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I TOLD YOU DON'T CALL HER THAT!” Y/N pushed her, Sharon responded in the same way until they were all separated again. Pietro seemed to hold back, keeping to a corner. If Y/N hit her, he would be very proud.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone, choose NOW.” Sharon pointed at everyone. “I'm sick of useless leaders. We are less and less, and the most coherent way is for one of us to sacrifice herself for the others, going away.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jennifer put a hand to her face, trying not to hit her for the nonsense she was saying. Y/N, Wanda and the others were the same. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Helen nodded. “When wolves know that they are going to die, they know they are a burden to the pack. They just go away to die alone.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We're not a pack of wolves.” Nat added, rolling her eyes and putting her hands on her waist.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is the way we'll do it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Sharon… you’re going insane.” Y/N moved closer until she was in front of the blonde, but Sharon just looked at her with enormous anger and envy.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“YOU ALL. Vote right now, who wants to keep eating bug soup or do something about it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

First, they were all quite doubtful whether to do it or not. They didn't want to cause more trouble, but at the insistence of both, they began to raise their hands.

Those who wanted to keep following Y/N and Natasha, or who wanted to try Sharon and Helen's way. They were seven against eight.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Oh no.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned, seeing how some of them looked at her with pity but they had already decided, betraying them. The last one to give the final vote to them was Carol.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Good.” Sharon smiled. “We'll make it easy. Pass me the deck.”

ㅤㅤ

The blonde took the deck of cards that Hope gave her and showed them one of the cards. The Queen of Hearts. “We will take a card, and the one that draws the Queen of hearts... is the one who must go and face the wilderness.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha chuckled wryly, shaking her head. Really hurt by how crazy they were getting. “Oh, you guys had everything planned out perfectly while we were away, didn't you?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I understand that being hungry can make you all impulsive and reduce your fucking ability to make decisions in the long run, but this is wrong.” Y/N added.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She took Wanda's hand to get away from that group and go up to the attic, feeling enormous pain for their betrayal. “So fucking wrong.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ

Gathered in the attic and illuminated by a gas lamp, Y/N looked at the door before approaching her friends. There were Wanda, Natasha, Yelena, Jules, Pietro and Jennifer.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is crazy.” Y/N whispered, watching them with concern. “We must stop them.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha sighed. “What do you suggest to do?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is my fault, they're crazy because of what I said when I was on mushies. I'm sorry.” Jules mumbled, her gaze completely lost.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is not your fault. Hunger is having a serious effect on them, it’s affecting them psychologically." Wanda leaned over to take the girl's hand, squeezing it softly. Thanks to Jules she was alive, she didn't care if was dancing naked to some weird god while she was high, Jules saved them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“They're planning to kill us one by one.” Jennifer glanced at the attic door out of the corner of her eye, a little worried. “They were our friends.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Not mine, tho. They hated me a little.” Wanda scrunched her nose.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Maybe they're just bluffing.” Y/N just closed her eyes, completely stressed and in pain.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I don’t know…” Natasha narrowed her eyes. “Remove the bullets from the rifle… None of them are to be trusted now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

That small group looked at each other and nodded.

The world is a vampire, sent to drain.

Gathered in a circle, they all looked at each other in front of the cabin. That place where long ago they had celebrated together, laughed and danced.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The cold began to burn their skin while Helen brought the book, the others carried the skull of the deer they hunted that first time. Like a divine message, inside the cabin, the fireplace burned fiercer than ever.

Y/N and Natasha looked at each other worriedly. This was insane.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We need to find a way to stay alive.” Helen said and lit one of the candles on the skull. Carol brought that deck of cards to which they whispered: ‘We hear The Wilderness and it hears us.’

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is fucked up.” Y/N whispered, but no one paid attention.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda settled next to her, holding her hand tightly and Pietro's on the other side.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Carol held up the queen of hearts card for everyone to see, then arranged it in the deck, shuffling it well so it would get lost among the others.

Now everything depends on luck or wilderness.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Carol pulled out her card, followed by Sharon and Helen, who pulled out others. Neither was the queen and that made them sigh. The blonde approached Natasha, who just snorted.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do it or it will be you.” Sharon ruled, approaching with a menacing look. Swallowing, the redhead looked at her with a deathly glare and took a card. It took her a few seconds to show it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Eigh of spades.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Next was Jules, who with trembling hands took the card and looked at it before showing it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Five of diamonds.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette sighed and Carol approached each of them, who were taking a card until she reached Y/N. Keeping her gaze up, Y/N walked over to take a card.

Before looking at it, she clenched her jaw and lifted it up.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Ace of Clubs.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The girl just swallowed and handed the card back to Carol, staring at her. The blonde seemed so guilty, couldn’t even keep her gaze on her friend.

The sokovian smiled and exhaled leaving that fear, feeling an enormous release when she saw that Y/N was safe.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The next one was Wanda, who moved a little nervously but Y/N smiled slightly at her, trying to make the girl feel safe.

Before everyone's gaze, who looked like enormous birds of prey, Wanda inhaled deeply and took the card from the deck, closing her eyes and praying she wasn't next. When she turned the card over, Wanda knew that the die was cast.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Queen of Hearts.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N's body tensed upon seeing the card, when it fell to the ground because Wanda's hands began to shake.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Half of them gasped while others looked at her like she was dinner.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is the way we all made the deal.” Sharon closed the book and walked over with the hunting knife, handing it to Carol. “You can submit or you can run.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“The fuck?!” Natasha stepped forward, as did her friends, shielding her. Pietro stepped in front of his sister, about to go at whoever it was. But even though they tried, the other girls surrounded them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Especially when Sharon raised the rifle, pointing it at Pietro’s chest. “It’s what we all agreed on. Stay away or I will shoot.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“That rifle has no bullets.” Y/N scoffed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“There's one on the rifle, one on my pocket… that I took before you guys went hunting yesterday.” Sharon smiled all smug and then loaded the gun, making the cartridge jump, proving her right. “I won't ask again. MOVE.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They all tensed, but Wanda moved forward leaving them behind. Her huge green eyes showed the fear she felt, as well as the tears.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We're not really doing this, are we?” Y/N giggled and took a step towards Wanda but one of them stopped her. “Come on, it was just a joke. You can't do this shit.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

But none of them listened, the only one who seemed concerned was Carol. Pietro managed to punch one of them and moved forward but another hit his stomach, crumpling him.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s Wanda, she saved and healed your wounds.” Y/N tried again, watching as her girlfriend closed eyes and let the tears fall. “You all actually lost your minds!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They all started screaming as Sharon advanced with the knife on Wanda. “Things must be done as the wilderness commands.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don't you dare touch her.” Pietro hissed, trying to get free but three of them held him now.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don’t do this… This doesn't make any sense.” Jules prayed that they would open their eyes, leave the madness behind.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Turn around.” But when Sharon raised the knife, Y/N exclaimed in despair:

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I volunteer!” Y/N took a step forward, not knowing what that meant or what was going to happen, but she would do anything to save Wanda’s life. “Let it be me!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You can’t do that.” Wanda shook her head quickly. Now the fear was much worse.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yes, she can.” Sharon cut her off, then pulled out the hunting knife and gave it to Carol. “If wilderness accepts it, it is.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took a step forward, taking courage, for the first time in her life. Her friends tried to stop it but Sharon pointed at them again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Turn around.” Carol ordered, swallowing hard. Y/N just swallowed and turned around slowly and awkwardly, feeling how her muscles hardened. She didn’t know if it was because of fear or cold.

Y/N looked at her friends for the last time, who only seemed to cry and scream. The coldness of her knife blade made her jump.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gasped. “Wait!” ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Bravely, she took Carol's hand and turned to face her once more. Her hands and legs trembled like jelly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Not like that.” Y/N turned to face Carol, feeling how tears fell down her face. Like her, Carol allowed herself to shed tears as well. “You're gonna have to look me in the eye… if you're going to slit my throat, do it by looking me in the eye.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

For the first time, Carol hesitated. She pressed her lips together, trying not to cry but it was impossible.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don’t do this to me, Y/N.” Carol whimpered, feeling her hand shake. The edge of the knife began to scrape Y/N's skin, but the seconds passed and she couldn't. “I can’t.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The blonde’s voice cracked. “You’re my friend.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The Y/N team sighed in relief.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You've always been good at kicking but never at using your head.” Y/N murmured whimpering too, remembering the times both participated in the best plays together.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The blonde came closer to whisper something in her ear, without removing the knife from Y/N’s neck. But with her free hand, Carol hugged her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N?” Carol whispered with a shaky voice. “The rifle only has one bullet on the barrell. Just one.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Y/N whispered too, widening her eyes in fear.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Run.” Without further ado, Carol pushed her away towards the door and lunged at Helen to punch her, allowing Y/N to escape.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You fucking traitor!” Sharon screamed and shot Carol in the chest, taking her life instantly. At the horrified scream of the other girls, the blonde ran after Y/N leaving the rifle but taking the axe.

Nat and Jules rushed over to Carol to try to help her and stop the blood but it was impossible. The lost look and pale face of the girl only showed that she died. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Stay here and keep them here.” Pietro told his sister before going out the door.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Pietro, please.” Between tears, Wanda prayed that her brother and Y/N were okay.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Are you running? Is that your choice?!” Sharon ran after Y/N between trees. Screaming and howling like wild animals, she and Helen ran across the Canadian arctic tundra.

While running on the cold snow, Y/N looked back when she heard a horrible human howl.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They were crazy, they had lost their minds. They shot Carol. She stopped behind the huge tree, trying to lose them.

Y/N closed her eyes when she heard the footsteps of those girls, following her way.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N tried to hold back crying, just clenched her jaw and closed her eyes. She was so afraid, like never before.

Y/N didn't want to die, she didn't want to leave this world, she wanted to have a girlfriend, be a better person, choose a good career at any college that would accept her. It wasn't fair to end her life like this.

ㅤㅤㅤ

It wasn’t fair.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Her heart was pounding so hard, she thought her eardrums would burst soon.

Y/N’s eyes widened when she heard their howls approaching again, so the girl ran back in the opposite direction. She knew this place, traveled it thousands of times more than them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“Use your head, Y/N.” She told herself before taking one of the paths towards the lake. Behind the lake was the place she found long ago, where she and Wanda used to hang out. That place would be good to hide, yes.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N ran across the frozen white lake, despite the stumbles and pain. Despite the cold she felt, she ran with all her might.

Especially when she heard how they were running after her in the lake. But after a few minutes, the terrifying sound of crack made her stop short, fear paralyzed her.

ㅤㅤㅤ Slowly, the ice around her began to crack but if she didn't move, everything would be fine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Of course, the others didn't seem to have noticed, so when Helen and Sharon ran towards her desperately, Y/N turned to see them taking a step back.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You’ll die.” Sharon raised the axe.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We all will eventually.” Y/N swallowed and waited for the end. She stomped on the ice below them and it shattered completely, causing them to fall into the frozen water.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The frozen water threatened to freeze her lungs.

Y/N swam into the water and tried to rise to the surface, but something grabbed her leg, pulling and sinking her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sharon insisted on haunting her life, even to take Y/N with her. ㅤㅤㅤ

They struggled underwater until slowly their hands lost the strength to continue. Y/N saw with sadness how the light was lost in Sharon's gaze, she was gone.

Sharon's frozen hands were still clinging to her jacket, pulling it down.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And soon she would be gone too. Feeling how the last breath and air escaped from her lips, Y/N closed her eyes.

But at the last moment, like a miracle, a hand grabbed her arm and pushed to the surface. Not just her, but Sharon as well.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Pietro helped Y/N out of that hole, both desperate for as much air as their lungs would allow, even though it hurt like thousands of daggers.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Th-thank you.” Y/N stammered shivering with cold. She took Sharon's arm and they both pulled that body out of the water. “Why risk your life for two corpses?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“B-because you deserve to live, you m-make my sister happy like I've never seen her… and as I told you before, you're a good l-leader.” Pietro was shaking too, getting up slowly and helping Y/N to do the same. "And her? We d- we don't want them to think we killed her, you both fell into the r-river. We'll b-bury her like the rest.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

When they both arrived at the cabin with Sharon's cold body, they all seemed quite surprised and sad at the same time.

Sharon's madness had brought everyone to a point of no return, especially for Y/N and Carol.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Completely frozen, the first to take the hot bath was Y/N, who wouldn't stop shaking. Pietro spent a long time in front of the fireplace, until the bath was ready. Of course, that decision would cost him dearly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Her gaze was so lost in the flames of the fireplace; how had everything become so terrifying?

Y/N felt like something inside of her completely snapped. Deeply broken. Perhaps being about to die slit by one of her friends, or seeing that friend die in front of her, plus they hadn't eaten well for three months.

ㅤㅤㅤ

It was all so painful that she allowed herself to shed a few more tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha's soft voice caught her attention, but Y/N couldn't take her eyes off the fire.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Asking if everything was alright seemed fucked up, so the redhead decided to go for the best she could: “Is there anything I can do to ease the pain?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N finally looked at her with a look full of sadness but also kindness. “Where’s Wanda?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“She's with Pietro in the attic, taking care of him. I think he has a slight fever. Jules is helping too.” Natasha sighed and sat down next to her best friend.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N looked down, feeling quite guilty. Pietro risked her life for her and now he was fighting to stay alive. With all her heart, she hoped Wanda didn't hate her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Nat said with a lump in her throat, her green eyes brimming with tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N just nodded slowly and sighed deeply, she must be strong. For all the girls who were left.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can't bury them, the ground is frozen and the snow...” Y/N whispered, she couldn't go on.

ㅤㅤㅤ Natasha nodded, surprised. “We have to burn them.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

With Jenn and Yelena’s help, they took Carol and Sharon's body to the pyre they had made with some logs and branches. While the sun was hiding on the horizon, the fire began to lick the branches and the bodies of those girls hungrily.

The rattling of the fire was all that could be heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

With sadness and a few tears, they watched from the window as the fire burned the bodies of those who were once their friends. ㅤㅤㅤ

But after a while, as a horrible dark monster deep inside them woke up, the smell reached them and tortured them. A monster awakening in the need for survival, awakening thousands of thoughts and feelings that made them conflict.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed as fire lit their eyes. All of them, sharing the same moral battle.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N?” For the first time, Natasha sounded completely fragile. Y/N turned to see her, noticing the sadness and disappointment in her green eyes. Self control.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Her full lips trembled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so hungry... it's hurting me.” Natasha wept, so ashamed of herself, feeling her eyes fill with tears. “I don't want to do this, but I feel like something is in me... something so bad… so hungry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered Wanda's words, completely heartbroken. “I'm scared. I don’t wanna die here. I wanna live.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

And those words marked her like hot steel on her skin.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We need to survive.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The hours went by and Wanda didn’t abandon her brother.

The cold and the heat, the tremors in Pietro's body. The tears that she was tired of shedding. Jules decided to go down for a moment to discuss the situation with the girls, Pietro seemed to be fighting a high fever and cough.

ㅤㅤㅤ If he didn't make a recovery, he could progress to complicated pneumonia and that wasn't a good prognosis.

ㅤㅤㅤ The sokovian sighed, watching how Pietro managed to calm down for a moment, grateful that someone was going up to the attic.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She turned quickly when she heard the voice of Y/N, who sat next to her. In her hands, Y/N brought a steaming bowl which made Wanda's hopes revive.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, babe.” Y/N smiled slightly, with a certain sorrow. “I brought something for both of you. My favorite sokovian team.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just looked at her with teary eyes and nodded, glad to see her there. “Thank you, detka.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette kissed her cheek carefully and took the bowl to bring it closer to her brother, so she could feed him.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What is it?” Wanda frowned, curious.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It will keep him alive.” Y/N replied without elaborating, hoping she would understand that the idea was to survive.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda looked at her for a moment, not knowing what to say. Words were unnecessary at that moment. She just took the bowl and nodded, moving closer to Pietro who was burning with fever.

If they wanted to survive, they had to try.

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤNOW

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N returned to the living room, noticing that Nat and Wanda kept chatting pleasantly. She smiled, thinking about how beautiful the brunette looked today And when their eyes met, this time in a very different way, Wanda smiled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So…” Jules walked past her, snapping her out of her daydreaming. “You both suggested we meet, and I must say that a delicious spaghetti is cooking in the kitchen so…” Jules sat next to her wife. “We have a while to chat.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, I’m surprised these two are not killing each other.” Nat arched an eyebrow. Wanda and Y/N looked at each other for a moment and said nothing, sitting down on the sofa. ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yep, well… ” Wanda started, sitting next to Y/N. “We have something to tell you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“WANDA has something to tell you.” Y/N quickly corrected it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Coward.” The sokovian whispered, shaking her head. She took a deep breath to take courage and finally express that great secret.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We found out the person who is blackmailing us.” She pursed her lips, Y/N just nodded watching her friends widen their eyes in surprise.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That's great, let's go find this asshole right now.” Natasha got up from the sofa, ready to go but then she stopped when she saw how her friends shook their heads.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah… We already found him.” Y/N narrowed her eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What do you mean?” Jules frowned.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The blackmailer was Vision.” Wanda finally let go, and closed her eyes when her friends yelled 'WHAT' at the same time, again.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda took the time to explain everything that happened with Vision, and why he did it. Of course, that didn't seem to matter much to Natasha, who seemed completely furious.

Especially after knowing that he was to blame for beating her pregnant wife.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Then everything is fine, besides that he will return the money to Y/N…” Jules placed a hand on her chest, feeling her soul return. “What happened is still safe with us.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Does Vision know what we did?” Natasha frowned as she leaned over to pick up a can of soda. Ever since Y/N came back, no one drank alcohol around her. Not because she wanted to, but to respect her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“He knows nothing, nor will he say anything. I swear.” Wanda sighed. Y/N placed a hand on Wanda's back, as a sign of support. But that made their friends look at them curiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What we did…” Jules began somewhat thoughtfully. “It's not easy, for none of it was.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Leaving that weight behind takes a lot of pain and time and we have all paid for it.” Y/N nodded. “We tried to survive, and the others as well.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“They lost their minds, and how not to? We spent a year and a half in the forest.” Natasha said with some regret, looking down. There were no days where she didn’t remember her friends, her team. “And we did it too.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Was there really something there? Playing with us?” Y/N hesitated to ask but did, she needed to know.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We will never know, but that horror must be left behind.” Nat sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm really sorry for everything that happened to us. Every night I pray to whoever, that they are okay. None of them deserved that.” Wanda said and they all remained silent for a moment, remembering her brother. ㅤㅤㅤ

After a moment of silence, listening to some soft music, Jules cleared her throat.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Changing the topic…” The black-haired girl bit her lower lip and looked at Natasha, who smiled tenderly. “We want to tell you something.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She looked at Nat who squeezed her hand and nodded, giving the okay to finally let go. One of the most important moments of their lives.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We’re pregnant.” Jules let out an excited squeal. “We are going to be moms!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda and Y/N opened their eyes wide, as big as their smiles. Finally some joy came into their lives, after so much pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“OH MY GOD!” Wanda squealed. “That’s amazing!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Dude, we’re having a baby!” Y/N screamed too; they both tried to fake surprise. But Natasha was a really good detective, and Jules was too empathetic.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you told her already, don't you?” Nat narrowed her eyes and threw a cushion at Y/N. “You dumbass!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You had to open your big mouth!” Jules did the same, attacking Y/N with pillows, laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“SORRY, I WAS SO HAPPY. I COULDN'T CONTAIN MYSELF!” Y/N exclaimed between laughs, trying to cover herself with the pillows.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, detka, I don't know how to lie.” Wanda scrunched her nose and laughed. “I couldn't help it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You're very lucky I love you.” Y/N winked at her, playfully. But her friends soon noticed, they stopped short, still holding the cushions in their hands.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Wait, you… you two are-?” Jules narrowed her eyes and smiled happily, pointing at them. “You bitches. You finally did it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, really? they don't stop ogling each other, have you noticed it NOW?” Nat continued with the joke and they all laughed.

ㅤㅤㅤ

After a delicious dinner, some smiles and knowing glances, Y/N was with her sister in the kitchen, washing the dishes while Wanda and Natasha chatted in the living room about being a mom.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules passed one of the dishes and Y/N dried them. Although Nat offered to buy her a washing machine so many times, Jules always said that washing the dishes relaxed her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm so glad you're okay, you both trying to do this right.” Jules smirked, glancing sideways at Y/N. “You look much happier and healthier, I am very happy to see you like this. You deserve it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled and nodded. “I feel... so much better than before.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She stopped for a moment, thinking well about the words she would use.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to sleep, I stop feeling that deep dark hole inside of me. I'm beginning-... I'm beginning to think that maybe something good could happen to me.” Y/N's voice showed how hopeful she felt. Jules turned quickly to see her, her eyes showed how moved and proud she was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm so proud of you, Y/N. Mom would be too.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You think so?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I do.” Jules nodded and looked down to turn off the faucet and hand her the last plate. “You deserve to be happy, so does she, you have no idea what Wanda was like before you came. I don't know what you two have been doing all this time, but I have to tell you, she looks... happy. Glowing.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled and nodded, wiping down the plate. “You know, I was thinking about what you said today? About what we did.” she swallowed. “I let all of that get to me, and what we went through later with Mama Claire... I left you alone and I'm so sorry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can't fix much of what we did, but we can do better. Every time we can.” Slowly, Jules reached out to hug and rest her head on Y/N’s shoulder. After a moment, she dared to speak, somewhat embarrassed. “I'm so afraid.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Afraid of what?” Y/N looked down, noticing Jules's blank look.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sometimes I feel like this little baby deserves so much better.” The woman bit her lower lip, releasing one of her deepest fears. “I’m so lucky to have Natasha by my side, but I'm so scared, you know? I feel like something…something won't let me forget what I did there. Fucking Ward.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She swallowed, feeling Y/N's hand caress her back affectionately.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Don't let fear or the past take away the most beautiful moments of your life. You’ll be an amazing mom.” Y/N said in a low voice, taking Jules's hand, smiling when she rested on her shoulder again. “Wonderful, kind, funny. You know math, that’s a lot, dude. Am I forgetting something else?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh stop it, you're just flattering me.” They both laughed and Jules patted her. “But i’ve to say… you will be a great godparent.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Those words took Y/N by surprise, who turned to see her so surprised. “What?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules nodded, smiling. “You in?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Completely shocked and excited by the choice of her friends, she didn't know which emotion to show first. She felt happy, surprised, a little terrified of screwing it. “Are you- are you sure?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So sure.” She giggled when Y/N hugged her so tight, like a huge bear. “With my whole life. We are cousins, but we grew up together as sisters. Except for Natasha, there's no one who knows me like you do… And I know that there will be no one in this world who will take better care of my little one.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You know Wanda would do better, she has experience with kids.” Y/N whispered, looking down for a moment while her friend poured three cups of coffee for them, one cup of tea for herself.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Well, you guys are together, aren’t you?” Jules winked at her. “Then it’s the same. Also the other godparent will be Yelena. So this baby will go crazy!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

They both shared a laugh, before returning to the room, Jules took her arm. “I love you, Y/N.” She caressed her cheek with unique softness, her brown eyes brimming with tears. “My sweet brave Y/N. I am proud to be your sister.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Completely moved by her words, Y/N smiled. “I love you so much, Jules.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

And the months passed quickly, especially when you're happy. ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha and Jules were able to enjoy every month of the pregnancy. Of course, the redhead became very protective of her wife, and their little bumblebee. Although they could have figured it out long ago, they decided not to find out if it was a boy or a girl until birth.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N always showed how proud she felt to be the godparent, although it always unleashed adorable fights with Yelena to see who was better auntie or with which of the two the baby kicked the most.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Beating all the odds, Y/N stayed sober all those seven months. By attending a NA group and a new therapist, the dark haired woman was able to leave behind much of what was hurting her to start anew.

And Wanda was a big part of the new hope inside her. The relationship with Wanda improved a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Since they had spent the first night together, the dates became more frequent. Of course, the sokovian seemed to want to go slow, it was the best for both, but at the same time they both wanted so much more.

Y/N also worked hard to make her feel safe, patiently winning her heart.

The twins fully understood that their parents were divorcing because they were no longer happy together. That Vision was in love with Virginia and that Wanda was in love with Y/N. ㅤㅤㅤ

The first time they met, Y/N was terrified. She hesitated many times whether to knock on the door or run away but finally, she decided to face all her fears for Wanda. Because she deserved it, they both deserved a chance. Incredibly, she made the best decision of her life.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So, do you like it?” Y/N asked as she cut up some mini sandwiches and brought them to the coffee table in front of the sofa.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We love it!” Billy exclaimed with that console in his hands. Tommy nodded, taking a mini sandwich.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“When I was a kid, I loved playing this one. My family didn't have a lot of money so I sold some candy and delivered newspapers so I could buy it.” Y/N smiled to see how Billy was looking at the console with curiosity and an adorable smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ

For a while now the boy hadn't stopped telling her how happy he was catching pokemons in the 'Fire Red Pokemon'. ㅤㅤㅤ

“They are not the same one, of course. I lost mine a long time ago on a trip with your mom and your aunties.” She swallowed hard and smiled sadly. “But I got these for you. It’s not the new Switch one, that… one is so much better, but… I thought you might like this one too. I like it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Feeling a bit shy, Y/N always had a soft spot for old-school stuff. As if part of her didn't want to give up the innocence and past she lost in the woods.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, Y/N!” The twins said at the same time and hugged her waist, making her laugh a bit. Y/N ruffled their hair when they parted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m glad you liked it, boys. I was afraid it would bore you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“This is amazing! We like spending time with you, Y/N.” Tommy smiled and ran back to the sofa.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re so funny… and you make mom happy.” Billy was encouraged to say with a toothy smile and then followed his brother.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not that boring, huh. Take that, anxiety.” Y/N sat on the other couch, taking control of the TV. Outside, the sky was beginning to darken from the coming storm.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They were together for another half hour until the door opened, Wanda came into the house somewhat in a hurry and soaked by the rain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

��I'm so sorry! I swear I didn't want to be late, it's just that in the end I couldn't find a place to park, it was chaos!” Wanda exclaimed as she took off her soaked coat in the doorway. She couldn't help but smile when she saw them like that.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N came over to give her a little peck and help her with her bag and coat. “So? How was it?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The twins left the console and sat on the sofa, as expectant as Y/N to hear the news.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh… well…” The brunette scrunched her nose. She inhaled deeply, then released it. “They gave it to me! I've got the job!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The three approached and began to jump and cheer with the sokovian.

As soon as the little ones hugged their mother -and then walked away saying 'ew' because her clothes were still wet-

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The good thing is that I can do it from home.” Wanda explained to Y/N speaking fast, all excited. “All I need is my laptop.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That’s amazing, babe! Oh, I’m so happy for you.” Y/N bit her lower lip. Finally everything started to go well, right?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Me too.” Wanda smiled happily. “I can finally do something for myself. Isn't it amazing?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It is, my love.” Y/N walked over to wrap her arms around her. “You deserve it more than anyone. I’m so proud!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you so much, detka.” Wanda's green eyes sparkled with happiness.

ㅤㅤㅤ Y/N just smiled tenderly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you too, luv.” They both looked at each other for a moment before leaning their foreheads together, losing themselves in each other.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Well, I’m gonna take a bath but first… I think today we can celebrate by ordering pizza and ice cream. What do you think about it? And maybe I’ll even let you guys try to beat me at Monopoly.” Wanda said, looking at the three of them.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The adorable twins squealed with excitement and jumped on the sofa happily. And although Wanda tried to stop them, she ended up laughing.

Y/N just smiled happily from where she was, feeling that maybe she finally had a place in the world. A comfortable and pleasant place.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Hours later, after a delicious pizza and a night of laughter, Y/N and Wanda slept peacefully for a few hours until a screeching sound interrupted them. Outside, the storm was fiercer than ever.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It's so late... who is it?” Y/N murmured sleepily, trying to go back to sleep entwined with the body of her beloved. It was 2 AM. ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just snuggled against the covers, opening one of her eyes to see how Y/N's phone began to vibrate and ring again insistently. “I don't know, it's your phone, detka.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry.” Y/N muttered before yawning, sitting up on the bed to take the call. The screen said that her number was unknown, which made her frown. “Hello?... Yeah, it’s me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sat up in bed and ran a hand over her face, trying to wake up. She tried to understand what the person was saying, but nothing seemed to make sense.

Her eyes showed confusion and fear, her lips trembled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What? Wh- What do you mean?” Y/N said shocked, surprised, terrified. Hearing her voice like that, Wanda also got up feeling her heart jump. “No… No, that’s-”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Detka, what is it?” Wanda put a hand on her shoulder and tried to understand, Y/N seemed lost in shock.

ㅤㅤㅤ

With her teary eyes, Y/N begged: “That's not true.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“N-no… You must be wrong.” She started to cry, getting up to put on her clothes and dropping the phone on the bed.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda hesitated whether to hug her or take the phone, but she needed to know what the hell was going on.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hello? Yes, I’m-” The brunette finally managed to understand, opening her green eyes wide, listening to the person on the other end of the call. “Oh… Yes, we will-”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N walked away looking for her jacket but she couldn't help but walk down the hall and cry in silence. But the voices became distant, more and more. All Y/N could hear was the annoying beep. Like white noise. Everything about her was shattered. Everything inside her was starting to break down.

🐝🐝🐝 Only one chapter left.

This is the hardest chapter to write. The finale is all about present day. Although it is not direct, it is an allusion. I didn't know whether to make them make that decision or not, but the truth is that survival is harsh. I don't think I can made it as harsh and as selfish as in Yellowjackets.

Those women were selfish (and human, that's perfect. That's the point of the tv show, this moral battle), but our girls are not like that. They're good friends.

I'm babbling too much, I'm sorry if this is not okay for you. Maybe you'd better skip this past, and just finish the story with the next one. It's all about present. Have a good sunday, sweets. 🐝

ㅤㅤ

the cutest and lovely people tags ✨ @kaiidth-wandika @yourfavunsub @pawiie @fanboy7794 @sunsol-22 @scarlettbitchx @arcturusseer @imnotasuperhero @chtte @lesbians-in-outer-space @starry-night17 @cristin-rjd @kenlymar @chtte @marvelogic @druggedduck @aliherreraaa @widowwaddles @gingiesworld

ㅤㅤㅤ

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda x reader

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kdinjenzen · 11 months ago

Note

Now I'm curious WRT how 'Barbie' didn't hit for you.

I’ll say this first. If you liked the movie, I’m happy for you and I’m not here to tell you to hate the movie. I’m glad you enjoyed it and hope you continue to enjoy it.

That said… this movie was NOT for me and I did not enjoy its story at all. I loved the set design, costume design, the performances, the music, the dedication to creating the world, all that stuff was great.

The plot itself. It felt circular without actually purposefully dealing with the issues it tried to talk about.

The fact that Doctor Barbie, who is trans, is the one who is told to “go seduce Ken by telling him you feel don’t feel pretty” - as if this isn’t something that leads to violence toward trans women in the real world and also why her to be the one who doesn’t feel pretty? Wtf?

The Kens of Barbieland are basically all losers, are grossly incompetent compared to Barbie, treated poorly, and our main Ken (aka Beach Ken) has severe self worth issues… so naturally all the Kens become the villains and are able to overthrow all of Barbieland later on in the movie by doing …. they never explain how. Somehow a world full of, and built by, the most capable women ever are overthrown by like 20 dudes who they treated poorly and who aren’t very smart. Beach Ken’s root problems are only barely resolved and none of it feels meaningful.

Gloria and Sasha, the human characters who work with Barbie to fix Barbieland, are just as much caricatures and tropes as Barbie herself. Sasha, the daughter, is a mean Gen Z who just openly lashes out at Barbie (a stranger), and everyone else who is actually nice to her, for no reason. Gloria is “a sad mom who pretends to be happy” but they never explain why at all, it’s assumed that it’s because “she lives in a patriarchy”, but the only person who’s directly mean to her in the film is… her daughter.

Gloria gives a speech to each Barbie, individually, to snap them out of the Ken’s brainwashing (which like AGAIN how did that happen? It makes no sense at all and just confuses me) - the speeches are not empowering at all, they’re just about how women in the real world suffer a double standard on how to exist and SOMEHOW with all those depressing revelations thrown at them it… restores their self-confidence/self-worth and undoes the brainwashing?

Weird Barbie, whom everyone says is ugly and gross and they have violent “EW!!!” reactions to her face, is played by Kate FUCKING McKinnon. Meanwhile Stereotypical Barbie, while having an ugly cry breakdown about (again) not being pretty anymore, is played by Margot FUCKING Robbie. A fact that the movie points out as “the wrong casting choice to have this scene and cast Margot Robbie as Barbie saying she’s ugly.”

I heard so much about how it was a “queer positive movie” but there’s nothing queer about nor really in the movie. So it got to cling to the rainbow and scream “allyship” and everyone praised it for essentially doing nothing.

Everyone is like… mean? Everything feels so mean and mean spirited. It’s supposed to be very tongue in cheek, very snappy and quick, and everyone has a comeback for every situation but… it just really feels like everyone is just being mean for the sake of being mean and it makes moments where you’re supposed to feel sympathy for any character just drop immediately when they say the rudest shit ever for literally no reason.

They talk about Midge, aka the pregnant woman in the Barbie line, and then say “no don’t look at her anymore, she’s weird and creepy” … which AGAIN feels like that statement undercuts the point of women empowerment that the movie wants you to take away from watching the film?

It tries to balance jokes and seriousness in a way that undercuts the message of “society is kind fucked up and broken” that they’re trying to talk about. The “good guys” are also constantly mistreating other people, the “Barbieland bad guys” became bad by going to the real world and leaning “patriarchy”, the “Real world bad guys” literally do nothing except take up movie time for random gags and really don’t service the plot at all, and as much as it’s like “TAKE THAT MAJOR CORPORATION” at every turn… the movie was fully approved by Warner Bros Discovery AND Mattel… so it’s never actually going to say anything worthwhile about corporate greed and corruption without putting on kiddie gloves to do so.

The only person who I felt true sympathy for, understood their reasoning, and felt they deserved a happy ending was ALLAN, aka Ken’s Best Friend, who is treated equally like shit by basically everyone in the film. Allan points out that Barbieland and the Real World both kinda suck, how life is only just slightly more miserable there after the Ken’s took over, and how he just “wants to run away” and when given the chance does so, only to defend Sasha and Gloria from a bunch of Ken’s single handedly and telling them to “get out while they can”… and then is subsequently brought back to Barbieland by Sasha and Gloria to fix everything and… AGAIN none of this pays off because Allan’s purpose is dropped immediately when they get back to Barbieland. And Allan is played by MICHEAL CERA. I feel like I’m losing my mind at this point.

It feels like the movie wants to talk about the issues women face in all walks of life, but is never able to punch hard enough to make that message matter nor stick. It talks around gender issues, self worth issues, and problems in society without actually saying something real about them. The meanness of all the dialogue makes me really not care about pretty much anyone in the movie because… man I’m just so fucking tired of everything and everyone having to be “mean” in movies to prove a point.

The movie ends with a gynecologist appointment.

I dunno what to tell you. The plot is “not for me” and I didn’t really connect with anything.

The movie just made me sad and disconnected because of how much everyone praised it, saying it “made me proud to be a woman” or “it’s inventive, immaculately crafted and surprising mainstream films in recent memory - a testament to what can be achieved within even the deepest bowels of capitalism.”

And it didn’t feel like that for me at all.

Maybe it’s because of all the “that’s womanhood” talk throughout the movie. Because I’ve had so many women in power give me that speech after I came out as trans only to be abused directly by them in the same way that they said men abused them all while I was still ALSO being abused by the same men who abused them too. So like YIPPEE this fucking SUCKS and it was kinda trauma triggering!!

Maybe it’s because I’ve worked in the entertainment industry for 17+ years and know how stuff like this gets made and how many corporate approvals you need for it to make the “take THAT major corporations and CEOs!” jokes land like a dead fish on the floor. The people they are directly calling out said “yes, this level of joke at the expense of our richness and power is okay” and that’s the ONLY reason any of those moments are in the movie. So it doesn’t even really fucking matter, it’s all manufactured, it’s all there to make you feel like it’s doing something when the people with all the power just allowed it to happen. It’s not a “win” or a “heavy blow to their ego”, they literally don’t care.

So I DUNNO, this movie kinda just made me feel depressed and made me remember how badly I had been treated by people after coming out regardless of that person’s gender. The movie felt mean in a way that was too “on the nose” and real for me but then praised most of the characters for their mean actions or words.

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kurishiri · 2 months ago

Text

17 . . . alfons main story

— cw: mentions of child labor or abuse, implied animal torture and death, symptoms of dissociation and depression (?)

—— Alfons’ POV ——

After Kate had left the pub,

I stayed behind, drinking whatever and whenever I felt, playing around in the night streets, and by the time I returned, Roger gave an earful, much to my displeasure.

I spent time around the vicinity as I pleased before returning to my room and catching up on some sleep that playing around at night had robbed me of,

and before I knew it, morning had come around.

Alfons: ‘You went and meddled even more, because that’s what you wanted’...

Lying down on the bed, I ruminated over the words from last night, leaving a bad taste.

After all, they were words that rang too true.

Alfons: ...Indeed, I had so much fun playing around with her that at some point I found myself closer to her than I ever thought.

A: She never felt discouraged in the slightest, even when she followed me around to places that should instill fear in her, and on top of that she would even fight a battle within a fire...

A: Now that I think back, perhaps she really had grown out of needing a ‘convenient illusion’ like myself.

She was someone who could live in reality in earnest. She could give her love to someone, and she could find her happiness.

——She could realize what I could only ever dream of.

—— Flashback ——

Alfons: hah... hah...

I left the boy named Roger behind, running for the orphanage that had kicked me out.

‘To die without leaving his mark on anyone’s memories.’

In other words, the fact I had been born, and the fact I will die... nothing will be left behind. Such was the my life.

The moment I had heard those words, I thought of the corpses of those nameless children, thrown out like they were garbage——

And I was struck with a fear that shook me to my core.

(But, that cat will surely remember me.)

(He wouldn’t ever forget me.)

That was all I wanted to check on. I just wanted to feel that warmth on my fingers once more, driving me to run as fast as my feet could take me.

When I knocked on the door of the orphanage, which was in poor condition, the head nurse answered.

And from behind her——a cat approached.

Cat: What’s with the noise?

Alfons: Oh, thank goodness... hey, don’t you remem——

Cat: ...Wh—it’s you!

Before I could finish my question, though, the cat threw a punch at me.

Alfons: gh!? B-but why...

Cats couldn’t hit people.

Wait, no, in the first place, cats——could not wear clothes. Nor could they speak words.

(So why is this cat wearing clothes and speaking?)

A throbbing migraine hit me then and there, causing me to close my eyes.

And when I opened them again, there before me stood——

the director of the orphanage, with a foul look.

(Ahh... that’s right.)

(I remember now...)

(My cat had long been——)

—— Flashback ——

It had happened on a certain day when I had made a small mistake.

And the director, knowing I wouldn’t react the way he wanted even when harassing me, instead aimed for the cat I had held so dear.

Seeing the cat become more and more of a lump of flesh right before my eyes, I felt my head start to throb in pain.

(This isn’t reality. That isn’t my cat...)

I said to myself, ‘The one who’s being hurt is not myself,’ as I always did.

All to escape to a convenient dream.

Such a habit, at that time, cast upon me a convenient illusion.

(My cat would never be killed by the likes of that director!)

(It’s the cat...)

(Yes, that’s right... it’s the cat who killed the director.)

The director, seeing me suddenly becoming devoid of all emotions despite having broken down crying just before, approached with a nervous air about him.

——In my eyes, though, it was a cat that approached me.

Alfons: I knew you could do it, my kitty cat.

And then I gently pet the back of its neck, as I had always done.

Then, after having peeked into the room that had gone quiet, the head nurse let out a cry.

Meanwhile, the cat let out a purr as I pet it.

Perhaps, the scene that was reflected in the head nurse’s eyes was that of the director down on all fours, purring as I pet him.

Truly, what a pitiful scene it was.

But, even so, to me, the director was killed by the cat, while the cat still lived on.

—— End flashback ——

——That is, until the moment I woke up from that convenient dream.

Director: Did you come here to get beaten again!? You... you bloody monster——!!

(That’s right...)

(The cat had actually died.)

(And I... I couldn’t bear such a thing.)

(Just to run away from the suffering, to somewhere less painful...)

(I had made myself think that the cat had never died in the first place.)

Even though I wished that it would remember me, even when I died, because I loved it,

I also chose to forget about its death for my own sake, however heartless that may have been.

Besides that, I had also heard at some church sermon that ‘love was not meant to be given while seeking something in return.’

In the end, in order to forget all the pain and suffering, I may have only pretended to love.

After all, I had used that cat’s life as I found convenient before throwing it away...

...so how was I any different from the people at the orphanage, who would use others for their own gain before throwing them out?

I had no memory thereafter of where I walked,

just that when I had come to, I found that I had left the orphanage, and I was wandering around the night streets of London.

(If only I hadn’t returned to check on the cat... I could still believe ‘it’s still living, and it still remembers me.’)

(And then I could still stay as the me ‘who could love the cat.’)

(I would have rather just stayed mad...)

(If I didn’t find out what actually happened... if only...)

If you find reality to be unpleasant, you need only seek out an escape.

But if I couldn’t even escape from it anymore——

What other choice did I have but to fall into madness?

—— End flashback ——

Now that I thought back on it, perhaps it was at that moment I had given up on any idea of living in earnest and any prospects of wishing for that so-called happiness.

And as I wandered the streets of the city at night on a whim, I found myself showing the people I met the momentary dream they wished to see.

After all, in order to live in this world that knew no kindness, a place one could escape to was needed.

To those who gathered around me, I figured this hand that could cast a convenient illusion on them was that very place.

(Just what am I doing all of this for?)

(Maybe I thought at one point... I could feel like some savior, who used his Cursed ability to show a sweet dream to those with a weaker will?)

Whenever I would plaster a smile on my face, spouting things like ‘let’s forget about reality and indulge ourselves’ while touching the backs of their necks, I would hear my own cold voice.

I was positively fed up with the me who would cling onto a fake love, who saw no hope in change for the better.

(But, well... I couldn’t care less anymore.)

If I was going to just up and disappear from this world, forgotten by all in the end...

Just like a single piece of candy, wouldn’t it be alright to wrap myself in a sweet dream for as long as I was living?

And then, if I could, I wanted to disappear from this world without leaving even the smallest trace of myself in anyone’s heart.

After all, the more clear any trace I left behind became, the more that would leave behind an open hole in the heart that could never be filled.

Alfons: ...I think I’ve had just about enough of this blasted sob story.

—— Kate’s POV ——

(“To die without leaving his mark on anyone’s memories”——such was Alfons’ tragic fate.)

I had always felt a sense of fear as I listened to Roger’s story of the past.

It was as though a black darkness that would swallow everything in its path whole was creeping up toward me.

(When Alfons dies... at that moment...)

(The members of Crown, the friends Alfons would play with, the people in the slums, me, anyone and everyone...)

(...will all end up forgetting about him.)

His name, what he looked like, the scent he gave off... and the fact he even existed in this world altogether.

Roger: ...Among the testimonies of people who’ve experienced this unnatural memory loss,

R: there was an account of having always felt like in their heart that they couldn’t remember something very dear.

R: And when they had a sudden urge to go into the ‘empty room’ in the house, they said they shed tears the moment they entered the room.

Kate: ...!

Roger: If I had to guess, that person had been close with one of the bearers of the ‘Curse of the Mirror.’

(When I had first met Alfons, I was more than fine with forgetting all about him...)

But now, at this point, just imagining how each of the memories borne between the two of us could fall from my fingertips and scatter on the ground,

I felt a pain I could hardly bear.

Just then, I was reminded of——

[1] The blue mallow tea

[2] The pie-throwing festival (+4 / +4)

[3] The fact we had drank together

The pie-throwing festival.

(I had thought he was going to take me somewhere shady,)

(but it would have never crossed my mind that we would end up participating in this odd festival that was held in the park.)

(When I had talked with Alfons, when we laughed together, and even when we touched each other in that way...)

If he were to die, I would no longer be able to remember any of it.

(Is that why...?)

(So that’s why Alfons——would never step deep into anyone’s life. Nor would he let anyone into his.)

He never sought anything more than a fleeting relationship.

And he would never connect with any person or place.

It was all because if he had made himself at home by someone’s side, or in their heart, then someday——

That would be left behind as nothing but a blank space, with no way to remember what had filled it with color in the first place.

Even if I asked Alfons himself, I would think he would simply laugh it off and say something along the lines of ‘well, if that is what you think, then perhaps that may be so.’

But, thinking about that, I felt his speech and mannerisms had some coherency.

Kate: ...So, about his fate...

K: Is it really possible to change it?

Roger: I know as well as you do. That’s well beyond me.

R: All that’s still being researched.

(Roger was saying that he had been researching this ever since before he had met Alfons.)

Kate: ...And how long has it been that way?

Roger: ——From the time I was a five year old kid, up until today.

(Wow, that is a long time...)

Even while under Her Majesty the Queen, a place that perhaps had the most documents related to the Cursed ones,

Roger, who was also a Cursed one himself,

didn’t know of a way to escape from their tragic fates.

That truth seemed to weigh deeply on my chest.

Kate: ...Thank you, for telling me all this.

Roger: Well, it’s not as though I intend to go back empty-handed.

Kate: Huh? ...wah—

With one hand, he pulled my waist toward him, his lips at my ear.

Roger: With this, you owe me one.

Then when he subsequently kissed the lobe of my ear, I pushed back against Roger’s chest on instinct.

Kate: W-what do you think you’re doing...!

Roger: I brought you medicine to help with a hangover, didn’t I? You can just consider this payment for that.

R: Well then, catch you around, lil lady. And take care of yourself.

With a shrewd smile, he left the room, leaving me alone once again.

Kate: Alfons’ tragic fate...

He was just like an illusion whose surface I could only graze my fingertips upon, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he would fade away from my heart like an actual illusion?

He had no desire to live, and so perhaps he wouldn’t mind if such a day came around tomorrow.

And at that time——would the feelings I had for him fade away as well?

(...I would hate that.)

I should have been searching for a way to bury this love to the grave.

But, no matter how much anguish this heart of love inflicted on me, I didn’t ever want to forget.

I wanted to hold onto these feelings close to my heart forever——even now, I found myself deeply wishing for that.

(I don’t want these feelings to become an illusion.)

——Around the same time, in the corner of the castle, the gears of a certain plot had begun to move.

Surrounding an elderly gentleman donning a blue ring were the other members of the parliament, their faces seeming nervous as they spoke in low voices.

Parliamentary member Goa: ...Have those insolent twats who put out the fire of purification not been caught yet?

to be continued…

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