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holedaemon · 3 months ago

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ASS RESPECT 3: Garrus and Wrex go to White Castle

It's done. We did it. This weekend Ari (@freakpatrol) and I finished the Mass Effect trilogy. The third game is... massively flawed. There's *a lot* about it that I did not like, but despite that, it had some really profound aspects that I won't soon forget.

THE GOOD

MISCELLANEOUS

Shepard can run much longer now

They brought back weapon mods

The armor system is pretty decent, allows for a lot of customization

You can heal in battle using medi-gel again

Garrus is able to be romanced

ENEMIES

There are three factions you go up against in Mass Effect 3. Primarily, the Reapers & their forces, Cerberus, and to a lesser extent, the Geth. I'm here to talk about the Reapers' forces. In terms of design & background, they are peak. BioWare really went all out with them. They essentially took the idea of the Husks and how they are genetically altered, cybernetically enhanced humans, and applied that to most of the other races seen throughout the series. The process leaves them as former shells of themselves, the origin race barely being distinguishable. It's the perfect body horror and totally up my alley. A few of them that really stood out to me:

Cannibals

Harvested Batarians. They have a tendency to eat corpses they find on the battlefield, hence their name

Brutes

Unique in that they are a combination of Turians & Krogan. They remind me of the Tank from Left 4 Dead. Very fun to rip apart with a shotgun

Banshees

Harvested Asari, possibly specifically Ardat-Yakshi? Wasn't really clear. They resemble the Spitter from Left 4 Dead and function similarly to the Summoners from DOOM 2016. Ari HATES these things. Every time one of them screamed I'd hear "Oh I hate that noise"

SQUADMATES

The only new squadmate that really matters in 3 is Javik. You find him on a colony planet that's been overrun by Cerberus. He's a Prothean that's been in cryostatis for the last 50,000 years; when the Reapers last attacked. This is our first time SEEING what the Protheans looked like, and honestly they're pretty cool. Prothean society draws heavy inspiration from Rome & its structure, so you can imagine what Javik is like. He's a soldier; very cold & calculated, carries a lot of baggage knowing he failed his mission & his people perished, which manifests as him being a total dick, but we like Javik, so he gets a pass. The only thing I find disappointing is how he was included in the story, I'll elaborate on that later.

STORY BEATS

Okay, so let's be clear here: the story in the third game more or less sucks major balls. Turns out that's because the lead writer for the first two games left to work on fucking Star Wars: The Old Republic??? That said, there are some really profound moments throughout the story that I absolutely adore, even if they break my heart.

The first being summoning Kalros to fight the Reaper destroyer on Tuchanka. Before you run in to the arena to set off the hammers, Wrex stops you to say

You've been a champion to the Krogan people, a friend of Clan Urdnot... and a sister to me. To every Krogan born after this day, the name "Shepard" will mean "hero!"

HANDS DOWN my favorite Wrex quote.... Just. Gah. I love his development throughout the trilogy. Going from a grumpy merc with no purpose to the fearless leader of the Krogan people. It fills my heart with joy. He also calls Garrus his friend............ THEY HATED EACH OTHER IN THE FIRST GAME!!! NOW THEY'RE FRIENDS REMINISCING ABOUT THE OLD TIMES. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

Still on Tuchanka, this next moment hit me HARD. I can't remember the last time I cried at a video game, but this fucking got me.

Kalros has defeated the Reaper by pulling it fucking underground. We're at the Shroud ready to disperse the Genophage cure across Tuchanka. Except the Shroud has been damaged, it's coming down, and the STG (basically Salarian armed forces) has sabotaged it to prevent curing the sterilization plague. Mordin walks into the elevator leading up to the top of the Shroud, his final conversation with Shepard goes

Shepard: I'm sorry Mordin: I'm not. Had to be me. ... Mordin: Someone else might have gotten it wrong.

Hundreds of feet in the air, amid explosions, Mordin hums the same Salarian scientist tune he sang to Shepard in the second game. He pauses, the sabotage has been overridden, the cure is being dispersed; the scientist looks out over the Tuchanka skyline and smiles. Peace has been made with his fate, he can die happy knowing his wrong has been corrected. He picks up singing his song, but before he can finish the verse, the top of the Shroud explodes. That's the last we see of Mordin Solus.

Compounding the loss of Mordin, during a conversation prior to the events of Tuchanka, he tells Shepard that the Genophage needs to be cured. He does not relent that it was the correct thing to do for the time, but the circumstances have changed and it needed to be stopped. Shepard also asks him what he plans to do after the war had been won. Mordin talks about spending his final days on a warm beach, collecting seashells. The commander retorts saying he would go crazy within an hour, the Salarian responds saying he might run tests on the seashells.

I was really torn up about Mordin for a few days following this LMAO. He really grew on me over the course of the 2nd and 3rd game, hands down one of my favorite characters. Seeing him go sucked a lot, but I'm glad he was able to do it on his own terms. Curing the Genophage was the right thing to do, and I think it really added a lot to his character. He gave up his life so many, many Krogan could live. I love that a lot.

There's one last moment that really stuck with me.

The team is on Rannoch, the Quarian home world. They just defeated a Reaper that was transmitting a signal to control the Geth. Besides controlling the Geth, the Reaper transmission was also upgrading the synthetics. Their consciousness was on par with that of an alive being. Legion reveals to Shepard that he still has this code running in his systems. If he were to upload it to the Geth collective, the entire race would be upgraded to become fully sentient & alive. The commander agrees, telling him to get started, and asking Tali to delay the impending Quarian attack on the Geth. After some bickering with the Quarian admirals, the fleet hold their fire. Legion says

Legion: Error: copying code is insufficient. Direct personality dissemination, required. Legion: Shepard-Commander, I must go to them. I'm... sorry. It's the only way. Tali: Legion, the answer to your question... was yes. Legion: I know, Tali, but thank you. Legion: Keelah se'lai.

Legion falls to his knees in front of the Rannoch sun. In his final moments, he achieved true sentience, evident by his use of "I" instead of "we," as well as calling Tali by her first name. He was an equal, he was a person, he was truly alive. Through his actions, Legion brought on a new era of peace between the Geth and Quarians. In the days following his death, the Quarians had returned to their home planet and started to rebuild with the help of their newfound allies. The Geth's assistance was speeding up the rebuild exponetially. Processes that would have taken years, were taking days to weeks. Some Geth also volunteered to upload themselves into the suits of Quarians, to kickstart their immune systems. This would make the environmental suits the former nomads wore irrelevant in a few short years.

Losing Legion hurts A LOT. He was my precious baby boy. Everything about his death compounded the loss tenfold. The fact that he achieved personhood; the way he fell in front of the sun; his uttering of keelah se'lai as he keeled over... just. UGH. Much like Mordin, his death was not in vain. Had he not done what he did, the Quarians would have been wiped from the galaxy by the Geth. He managed to save two civilization and end a 300 year conflict. This has really, really stuck with me. Genuinely one of my favorite moments & outcomes in any video game, period. I love Legion, I love the Geth, I love what they all stand for & represent, and how they grow over the course of the series. It's fucking awesome.

THE BAD

That's about all I have in terms of good things, now onto the bad.

ACCESSIBILITY

Mass Effect 3 took a step backwards from 2 in terms of accessibility. The second game was perfect; menus were simple and concise. I actually knew what I was doing & where to go. That's not true of 3!!! Shit's back to being convoluted & confusing!!! I look at a menu and say "what the fuck is this?" It sucks!!!!

The other thing is the galaxy map. On the map overview, it tells you the description of missions in certain systems, not the name!!!! So you'll just have shit like "go to Anderson's apartment" appearing over nebula & shit, like what???

Your journal is a disaster too. Missions, both main & side, were grouped together in one tab, so you can't easily decipher which is which. They also decided to remove mission details, rather only giving you a vague description of what you needed to do??? Extremely frustrating.

GAMEPLAY

The movement sucks. It's like halfway to where it needs to be. I gotta give them credit for trying to make it good, but they just fucking floundered. Everything is done with the space bar, and so fucking often when I tried to interact with stuff, Shepard would take cover or do a fucking roll in the wrong direction instead of doing what I wanted her to do. It got genuinely annoying.

Another big issue were missions. For some reason, BioWare decided that missions should expire in this game, except they don't tell you when!!!!!!! SO YOU JUST HAVE TO GUESS!!!!!!! COMPOUNDING THAT, THEY GIVE YOU SO MANY MISSIONS. Literally I had like 20 missions at one point. Most of them were just fetch quests too. The formula for fetch quests is basically as follows:

get mission from random NPC

go to system

ping map to find scannable locations

uh oh, you probably alerted the Reapers. Which means you can't scan in peace without doing a mission.

if you can somehow avoid the Reapers, scan location for random junk until you find your fetch quest item

take it back to random NPC

rinse & repeat 100,000 times

Not a big thing but they... got rid of all of the minigames? There's no more hacking minigames, rather when you need to access an area, you just interact with the door & stand there for a few seconds. Again, not a big deal, but definitely a step in the wrong direction. There's also no resource collection, which I really enjoyed.

Again, this one is less of a problem but just kinda weird. The game is fucking easy. I died less than 10 times in combat. I didn't even know you could heal with medi-gel till the finale. I barely ever had to take cover, I could just run & gun and be fine. Compare this to 2 where I was dying left and right. My performance in the prior game was so dogshit that I think Ari was starting to get annoyed by it, so often would they say "BABE TAKE COVER," meanwhile I'd look like this

SQUADMATES

I was really kinda disappointed with the squadmate selection this time around. The last two games had so many different characters that I really jived with, but 3's selection was pretty lackluster. So as soon as I could, I took Garrus everywhere with me, and would switch between Javik & Tali for the secondary. Not bad, but not ideal. I don't really like human squadmates, so I never picked James or Kaidan. James is just too dude-bro military hot head for me; Kaidan's a whiner & got really annoying. Giving EDI a body was unnecessary, but cool I guess? Her relationship with Joker was cute. Never really cared for her much as a squadmate though. Liara was also just kinda... meh. I think I was really just spoiled by having Wrex and Legion as options in prior entries.

THE CITADEL

Okay this is a quick thing: you spend WAY too much time on the Citadel. This kinda ties back into my complaints on missions, but, I swear a huge portion of the game is spent there, doing side missions. It's fucking boring, man. I really did not enjoy any of the time spent in between priority missions. The citadel is novel at first, but by the end of the game, you've spent at least a few hours just running between the same 4-5 floors picking up quests, turning quests, listening to NPCs. GAH.

THE STORY

Okay, so like I said, Mass Effect 3 has some really good subplots that I enjoyed a lot!!! Overall though, dude, the story is just... weak, the ending especially. Ari and I spent some time reading the Wikipedia article detailing the controversy surrounding this game, and it makes sense. Like, once BioWare lost the aforementioned writer for the first two games, everything just went to shit.

The first thing that really irked me is the child Shepard sees die and his subsequent use throughout the story. Sure, alright, seeing someone so young die is traumatic, but why does it hold so much weight?? Shepard has seen thousands die, personally, she has taken the lives of at least 300,000 people, why does a single kid she never even spoke to for more than a second keep popping up? There's zero substance here. Keep the trauma, keep the dream sequences if you must, but use the people that really matter. Mordin, Legion, Thane, Ashley, I guess, even her fucking parents or squad on Akuze! USE ANYONE BUT A RANDOM CHILD!

Now, let's address the elephant in the room: the ending. That travesty blows shit out of ass, dude. Why is the aforementioned child there? What do you mean there's this intelligence that was created to solve a problem? What even is the problem?? Oh, it's that synthetics and organics don't really truly understand one each other? Okay. Why is that just now becoming the overarching problem of the series? Where was that concept in the first two games? The introduction of this intelligence, the Leviathans, and the "problem" really diminishes the story. It explains away the mystery of the cycle. It diminishes the Reapers a lot! Before, they were these mysterious, almost god-like machines from beyond the veil of reality. Their purpose was unknown & said to be incomprehensible to a normal mind. Turns out they just harvest the universe because it "solves a problem?" Like, fuck off, dude lmao. Giving any context whatsoever to the Reapers and their motives was a bad idea and really killed the magic that they brought.

Anyway, as you finish up talking to the child, you are giving three choices

Control the Reapers

Destroy the Reapers & all synthetic life (EDI, the Geth)

Use your DNA as a template for life to combine & share the same DNA between all species, organic & synthetic alike. (AKA the Synthesis)

Ari & I chose the last option, as it's allegedly the "true ending." Well, when you do that, Shepard jumps in the crucible, turns to mist, a huge explosion of green energy crosses the galaxy through the mass relays (breaking them in the process??), and everyone becomes cyborgs & "understands each other." Reapers & their forces stop fighting and begin to help rebuild the galaxy. Everybody glows green now? It's not well explained and even if it were it's stupid as fuck. Besides that, you're also violating the bodily rights of the entire galaxy?? Forcing change at a DNA level without anyone's consent?? Kind of a weird way to resolve a war. Furthermore, what about the Reaper's abominations? They're all sentient now! They're not fighting anymore! What do you do with them? What they once were is barely even recognizable!!

THE DLC

Alright, last talking point: the DLC. DLC is not a new concept in the Mass Effect games, and while it was not a big deal before, this time really bugged me.

Before I start: the DLC involving Aria & taking back Omega was really fun, I enjoyed it a lot. Anyways.

First off, JAVIK IS DLC????? THE PROTHEAN CHARACTER THAT IS SO VITAL TO THE STORY IS DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT THAT COSTS EXTRA???? REALLY AWFUL DECISION BIOWARE.

Second, the Leviathan DLC. I love the Leviathans, they're really cool creatures in design & concept. But again, their introduction and involvement in the story just Ruined the Reapers pretty much entirely. It sucks. I wish they were better utilized. Also, again, to put something so """important""" to the story in a DLC??? Fucking lame.

Finally, the house party DLC. It was fucking AWFUL. The entire mood of it does not fit the game ONE BIT. Every other sentence is some weird, unfunny quip. Brooks as a character is just fucking annoying. You're running around chasing your clone??? Then YOU HAVE A PARTY??? The dialogue throughout the party is just fucking awkward and forced. Kasumi and Saeed are there for some reason?? It just sucked. I could go on for hours about it but I'm just burned out even talking about this shit.

Overall, a really, really disappointing end to an otherwise fantastic series

Fuck this

#mass effect #spoilers #ari #games #fuck off

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