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anyon-else · 1 year ago

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Will You Remember Me As I Am Now? (The Red Room pt.10) | For the first time in your life, you understand what true happiness feels like, and it's both exciting and terrifying. You know now that you have to hold onto it before it's ripped away. (Marvel AU) – spotify playlist | read on ao3

Pairings | Kakashi Hatake x Black Widow!Reader + Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Orochimaru, Kabuto Yakushi

Warnings | female!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, abuse, violence, guns, manipulation, nightmares

Word count | 9.3k

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"A burnt child loves the fire."

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Life was pleasant.

You hadn't realized that a feeling like this existed. For as long as you could remember, your existence was contained within a small echo-chamber where you learned only about the world's cruelties. On a good day, you didn't add another scar to your seemingly never-ending collection. On a bad day, someone died at your hands. The bad days were often more frequent than the good ones.

But now, it seemed that the Red Room and all of the pain associated with it was just a distant memory. Even your nightmares had slowly faded away, only reappearing between long periods of restful nights.

The dizzying change wasn't necessarily hard to accept. Especially when you were becoming so attached to what your life had become.

Tonight, you'd been invited to Sakura's first movie night since she'd gotten back.

Kakashi was on your right side, tired eyes straining to focus on the movie. Naruto sat at his feet, leaning back on his legs and nodding off every few minutes. Sakura was pressed against your left side, leaning in your shoulder with a small, content smile. Sasuke was on the floor next to her, leaning just slightly on her legs and watching the screen with interest.

According to Sakura, movie night was a fairly normal activity for the four of them. Before she was taken, they'd had one at least once a week. However, when Kakashi had asked you to join them, he told you that this was their first time continuing the tradition since Sakura was taken. He could never bring himself to suggest it without Sakura being there, and Naruto and Sasuke never brought it up either.

So, while Sakura probably saw this as her reintegration of a continuous and simple tradition, you noticed the way that Kakashi glanced over the three kids fondly. Every now and then, you'd catch him looking at each of them as if taking a head count, just to make sure he had all of them there.

You couldn't remember what the name of the movie they'd chosen was. In all honestly, you were barely paying attention. From the moment Kakashi had sat down at your side, close enough that his arm was pressed against yours, you'd felt your heartbeat spike. Frustratingly, it refused to lower despite your best efforts to focus on the movie instead of the proximity.

This had been happening more and more recently. It frustrated you that you had little control over the way you reacted to his presence, and even more infuriating was that you didn't know why.

And you couldn't ask him. The thought alone made you want to crawl into a hole. But it was also becoming troublesome; it was getting harder and harder to sleep in the same bed as him when your heart was beating out of your chest. Some nights you worried he'd hear it, but he seemed perfectly normal.

So normal that it aggravated you.

Why were you so effected by his presence, yet he seemed perfectly fine? He slept peacefully. He rarely got flustered. He was acting the same as always, and while you were grateful that he wasn't confronting you about any odd behavior, it didn't seem fair that this mysterious nervousness was only effecting you.

However, now wasn't the time to ponder on the reasons. It was all you could do to keep your heart from racing. It was unfamiliar and unpleasant enough that you wished your body would just calm itself down without your intervention.

You were disappointed in yourself. Could you really not control anything about your body, from your actions to your feelings?

Sakura glanced at you when you shifted, trying to adjust and put as much space between you and Kakashi that you could. If it was the physical contact that made you so nervous, you knew that you should've just told him that you didn't want him touching you, but this felt different from the unpleasantness that you generally associated with touch. You were so confused, and it infuriated you.

Sakura was giving you continuous and frustratingly obvious glances whenever Kakashi shifted. You knew that she felt your heart-rate pick up, and this new tangle of emotions was not made any less frustrating by her knowing looks.

At one point during the movie—which you'd discovered through short intervals of attention was about a friendship between a fox and a dog—you noticed Sasuke's subtle nudge against Sakura's leg. It would've been easily mistakable as a shift in position, but the small glance that he shot her was painfully obvious to your well-trained eyes.

For a moment, neither Sasuke nor Sakura moved, and you felt it acceptable to let your guard down and shift your attention back to the movie. However, the moment you lifted your head, Sakura leaned closer to you and pressed herself into your side. She sighed happily as she pushed much more than her full weight on you, and while it wasn't necessarily strange that Sakura clung to you like this, her movements ended up crowding you against Kakashi's side. You were practically hip-to-hip now, though Kakashi didn't look anywhere near as startled as you felt by the change. In fact, he smoothly and nonchalantly pulled his arm from between your hips and laid it over the back of the couch behind your head. Your eyes widened, and your heartbeat picked up again despite his arm being a few inches from your neck. Sakura looked at the new position, and you wanted to shove her off the couch when a smug smile spread across her lips.

Kakashi, much to your chagrin, didn't look the least bit phased. He and Naruto were completely engrossed in the movie, oblivious to the silent war that you'd decided to start against Sakura and Sasuke.

"Psst," Sakura whispered, loud enough to pull Kakashi's attention away from the screen, "you're heart's beating pretty fast. Are you feeling okay?"

You heard the false concern in her voice, and you met her forced frown with a glare, pointedly facing her rather than Kakashi when he raised a brow at you and Sakura.

"I'm fine," you grit, closing your eyes when Kakashi's hand fell to your back to feel your racing heart for himself. He you'd become far more comfortable with his touch over the past few weeks, but now it was beginning to have the opposite effect that you wanted. You thought your heart might burst from your chest if this went on any longer.

"It is beating fast," Kakashi muttered, misguided concern in his voice. He probably thought you were having a panic attack, "you don't have to stay. Do you want to go back to our room?"

Our room. Damn him. Sakura covered her mouth to hide a snicker and Sasuke was grinning like a cheshire cat. Damn them too. Damn it all.

"Yeah," you said hoarsely, clearing your throat and stepping away from his touch, "that'd be good, I think."

You left the room quickly, steps echoing in the vast space of the lounge. The movie continued playing, and you released a heavy sigh when you entered Kakashi's room.

This was a fairly recent phenomenon. Your nervousness hadn't been this bad last week, and the week before you'd been perfectly content in Kakashi's presence. You'd still been able to sleep somewhat soundly, though you'd recently started facing away from him at night. It was hard to tell whether that was a result of growing trust or increased nervousness.

God, you were losing it. You were a spy. A former Black Widow. You were better than childish crushes, though you were really doing your best to convince yourself that there was something else going on. Unfortunately, that was the only explanation that you could come up with.

You couldn't really be blamed for it, though. Not when you got to see his face night after night, mask discarded like he was completely comfortable being so vulnerable around you.

It made you overthink to an infuriating extent.

You sat on the bed, thinking hard enough on this revelation that you'd slowly come to over the past week that you barely heard the door opening behind you. The fleeting hope that it was Sakura coming to check on you vanished when Kakashi's familiar weight sank into the bed.

"Sakura said I should come check on you," he said, and you closed your eyes. She really had it all planned out.

"I'm fine," you told him, careful not to let any emotion into your voice. What that translated as was a cold and closed-off response, which was likely not going to make him feel reassured by your answer.

"It's okay if you're not, you know."

Everything was becoming irritating. Kakashi. His unending patience. His warmth. How secure you felt around him. It was too good—too...safe. It was completely different from anything you'd ever experienced.

"I am," you sighed, deflating at his gentle tone. He nodded, leaning back on his hands and looking up at the ceiling.

A few months ago, the idea of adjusting to a place like this would've made you laugh. It hadn't been safety that you wanted, it had been routine. Order. Even if it was enforced by pain. In fact, that was something you were so used to that you would've welcomed it with open arms.

But even though the person you'd become was a far cry from who you were, you found yourself becoming more and more comfortable with yourself as each day passed. Each time Sakura laughed at your joked, or Sasuke asked to spar with you, or Naruto asked if you wanted to have ramen with him, you wondered what you had done to make them willing to spend time with you.

You wondered what you had done to make Kakashi feel safe in your presence. You wondered and wondered, but even when no answers came, you felt content.

You woke later that night frozen on your side of Kakashi's bed, gripping the sheets and trying to force yourself to breath. Tears rolled silently down your cheeks and dampened the pillow below you, but you were paralyzed, unable to move to wipe them away.

Kakashi hadn't stirred. It gave you the chance to collect your thoughts, though that was easier said than done. It had been a few weeks since your last nightmare, but your reaction to them kept increasing in intensity. You had grown too used to a pleasant night's sleep. Now your nightmares seemed even more daunting than before, and the idea of sleeping without Kakashi was equally as terrifying.

It took a few minutes to get your stiff limbs to begin moving. Eventually, you stood from the bed and shuffled towards the door to Kakashi's small balcony. The air was crisp, and you took in a deep breath once you'd closed the door behind you.

Your gut was churning.

Things had been quiet at the compound since you and Kakashi finished the mission. Your wounds had fully healed, and with less prominent marks than many of your other scars thanks to Kakashi and Sakura's superior medical care.

Everything was fine. Nothing was out of the ordinary, and HYDRA didn't seem to be a threat to you now. Your previous suspicious that Sakura was still in danger despite Kakashi's reassurances were disappearing with each day that passed, as was the fear that you were losing your mind. Adjusting was becoming easier and easier, and it seemed that way for Sasuke and Naruto as well. You were fitting into their little family with more ease than before.

But looking out at the calm, clear night sky, you felt a familiar, unpleasant feeling in your stomach. It was probably the Widow whispering in your ear, convincing you that all of this was too good to be true, but you felt that there was something else. Something that was giving you this gut feeling.

"Maa," Kakashi muttered behind you. You listened to each of his footsteps as he walked to your side; now, with your lingering sense of dread, it was harder to focus on your nervousness. You studied the surrounding area carefully, looking for a threat that had likely never been there in the first place, "aren't you cold?"

Right. It was the middle of winter, and the middle of the night, but you'd neglected to wear a jacket. In all honestly, you'd barely noticed your poor clothing choice, too caught up in your panic to think of anything but the endearing pull of fresh air.

"A bit," you shrugged, "I just wanted to come out for a second. I'll come back in soon."

Kakashi shrugged, but before you could stop him, he had disappeared inside and returned with a jacket. You'd seen him wearing it when he left the compound for missions, and he generally kept it hung over his desk chair. You felt your nervousness returning when he draped it over your shoulders.

His hands brushed against your arms as they pulled away, and you closed your eyes to try and stop yourself from visibly shivering. Every time he did that, you wanted to grab his hand and keep him close, just to stay in his peaceful presence a little bit longer. The foreign urge made you want to scream; a few months ago, you would have scoffed at the idea of feelings like this. They made people weak and soft.

But now you understood the appeal to a frustrating extent. You still heard Orochimaru's voice like a devil on your shoulder whispering in your ear, telling you that this was why so many Widows died before their time. Their feelings—their humanity—were their downfall. And you'd always looked down on them, just like all the others.

How had you become your own worst fear in so little time?

Was this the person you'd hoped to become? Had you ever hoped to become anything?

You stood with him in silence, listening to the wind rustle the trees and scanning between the trunks, triple checking that there was nothing lurking just out of view.

"What's bothering you?"

It was only logical to tell him about this foreboding feelings, but you also didn't want to raise any alarms if you were just getting worked up over a gut feeling. You had no desire to send Kakashi on another goose chase—not now that things had actually calmed down enough for him to relax.

"Nothing."

He accepted your answer with a nod and further silence. It sent a rush of gratitude through you, and you turned to face him before you could think better of it. You ignored the Widow's voice and Orochimaru's reprimands in your head telling you that acting on childish feelings would only create weakened resolve and depleted strength.

But you felt powerful when you were with Kakashi. Orochimaru's teachings had far too many holes for them to have the same grasp on you as they did before. Especially now that you understood more accurately what humanity entailed.

It felt like freedom.

Kakashi met your gaze, elbows still resting on the railing, but he shot up when you lunged at him. He was frozen in place as you wrapped your arms around his waist, keeping him locked in a tight hug. You were unsure of yourself, and you worried when he didn't respond to your gesture that you'd done something wrong—were hugs meant to be this tight? Should you have given him some sort of warning? Sakura had never minded hugs like this, but that was different. Hugging Sakura never made you feel like your heart was going to burst from your chest, or that your stomach was turning itself over again and again.

It took Kakashi a few seconds to recover, and you thought that he'd stopped breathing in that time, but when he regained his senses he was quick to reciprocate. You let out a sigh when he wrapped an arm around your waist and brought the other to the back of your head, pressing it firmly into his chest and letting out a deep, relieved breath. You felt it against your cheek, a comforting warmth in the cold night air.

You weren't sure what possessed you to do this; it was both brave and, from what Kakashi had seen, completely out of character. But it was something you were desperate for. Just one touch that provided comfort—one reassurance that you were allowed to be someone new. That you were allowed to choose who you wanted to become, and feel these new emotions that had always been forbidden before.

I'll teach you how to be human.

Kakashi's words echoed in your mind, and you thought about how much he had already done. About the progress you'd made in so little time. You were proud of yourself. For the first time in your life, you felt that you'd accomplished something for your own sake rather than someone else's.

Kakashi pressed a kiss to the top of your head, hands still pressed against your back to keep you close.

Maybe, just for this moment, it was okay to ignore your worry. Things were so good, and if this forboding feeling would go away you'd be able to relax. Maybe this kind of gesture wouldn't feel so significant. Maybe, after enough time, it would become normal to hug Kakashi. To hug Sakura, and even Sasuke and Naruto. To be part of a family. To have a home.

"Is this okay?" you croaked, swallowing against your dry throat. "Can I do this?"

"Yes," he whispered back.

You'd never been held before. Not like this.

Everything about your life now was so precious. You were becoming more and more desperate to keep it safe.

You also noticed through the contented haze of your thoughts that Kakashi's heart was beating just as fast as your own.

The next morning, you woke up alone.

Muffled voices slipped under the door, and you could make out Kakashi's voice directing the three kids as they cooked breakfast. You could smell something sweet all the way in the closed bedroom, and it lured you from the warmth of Kakashi's blankets. You trudged into the kitchen groggily, following the sounds of Naruto's shout of surprise and Sasuke's angry groan.

The kitchen was a disaster. The flour that Naruto had supposedly just spilled was spread over the counter and the floor, and some of it had somehow ended up on Sasuke and Kakashi. Sakura had sidestepped the mess and spotted you before the others.

"Ah!" she smacked Kakashi's shoulder, eyes wide in surprise, "Good morning! You're up early, huh?"

"I always get up early," you grumbled, narrowing your eyes at the frozen group, "what's going on?"

"Uh..." Naruto looked around, dusting flour off of the counter and running his hands over it frantically until he found a small, cylindrical object, "happy birthday!"

Confetti shot out of the small tube, and you watched it flutter to the ground to reveal a still-grinning Naruto. You blinked at him, completely bewildered. Birthday? Whose birthday was it?

"What's all this?" you asked, approaching the mess on the counter. From the looks of it, they were in the middle of making pancakes. There was a stack of them on a plate and a mixture of ingredients in a bowl in Sasuke's hands for more batter, which was presumably where the flour mishap had happened.

"Duh. I just told you! It's for your birthday!"

"It's...not my birthday."

"Huh?" Naruto turned towards Kakashi, "but you said...Kakashi-sensei! Did you get the day wrong?"

How would Kakashi know your birthday? You didn't even know your birthday. The concept of birthdays was practically nonexistent in the Red Room; you'd never really given a second thought to yours. When you discovered that people celebrated theirs every year, you thought it was a useless, time-wasting tradition.

"I saw it in your file at the bunker," Kakashi explained when he saw your puzzled expression. You looked at him, but you had to quickly avert your eyes from his soft smile, showing itself in his eyes above his mask.

Oh. So he...remembered your birthday? And went to all this trouble just for a day that was fairly insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

Huh.

You felt your heart skip a beat as you stared at the man, eyes wide and mouth agape. You probably looked comical, and the grin on Sakura's face told you that you weren't being very subtle about your conflicted feelings.

"We made you breakfast!" Naruto said happily. He slid the full plate of pancakes across the table at you, then gave you a wide assortment of syrups and fruits. You approached the table carefully, still reeling from the fact that today was your birthday, and that the others had decided to do something for you to celebrate.

"Eat," Sakura smiled, softer than her previous one. She seemed to understand your confusion, even though she hadn't experienced it herself. Being in the Red Room since birth creates a detachment from one's identity that was hard for you to reconcile now that you were out, independent of Orochimaru's will, "we made it for you."

"Thank you," you muttered, chest warming as you looked at the small buffet that they'd created. Naruto kept pulling toppings out of the fridge—first whipped cream, then chocolate syrup, then strawberries.

"Eat! We're making more, so don't worry about leaving any for us."

It was the first time you'd ever tried pancakes, a fact that you informed the four of as you ate your fill. Naruto looked horrified, mouth open wide before he began shouting about how sad it must've been for you. You didn't attempt to remind him that you'd never exactly been worried about the lack of pancakes in your life.

"Try this one!" Sakura grinned as she pushed a large, spotted pancake towards you, "it's chocolate chip and it's amazing."

"Is not," Sasuke grumbled, ducking away from Sakura's attempt to shove him to the side. "What? They're too sweet."

"Mm," you hummed around your first bite, smiling at the two, "'s good."

"Tch. You all have bad taste."

Sakura glared at Sasuke and caught sight of his plate despite his best efforts to hide it.

"Ew, are you putting raisins in yours, weirdo?"

Kakashi reached over Sakura for the spatula that she was waving at Sasuke and flipped the remaining pancakes on the griddle. When he'd finished, he slid it back into her hand and watched her smack Sasuke's with it.

"Don't insult our pancakes when yours looks like they came out of a retirement home."

Naruto giggled, and you smiled to yourself as they bickered. Kakashi continued making the pancakes with each of the kids' chosen toppings, unfazed by the escalating argument that Naruto had become involved in after an insult to his own topping choice.

"Shut up, Naruto! You add an ungodly amount of chocolate to yours, so you have no room to talk!"

"You shut up! Chocolate is the best topping, believe it!"

Kakashi shook his head at their bickering, and you could see his eyes scrunching as he smiled behind his mask. You were glad that Sakura was enthralled with her argument, too distracted to see your cheeks turning red as you watched Kakashi's emotions through his eyes.

You pictured his face under the mask, smile small but still so full of joy. He really was beautiful.

You choked as the thought crossed your mind. Kakashi glanced up when you practically inhaled the bit of pancake you'd been chewing hit your chest to try and dislodge it from your windpipe.

Beautiful? You had never really been interested in those kinds of observations before. Sure, you could acknowledge things that were beautiful versus not, and you knew what features people generally found attractive, but this was an entirely new feeling.

Every day you added to the list of things that were new about your life. It was exhausting.

But it was also exciting. That was another new feeling. You constantly felt excited about this new life you'd been given.

"Don't choke," Kakashi griped after you'd finished coughing.

"Helpful," you grumbled, avoiding his curious gaze and looking instead at where the kids were still arguing. Sakura had Sasuke in a chokehold, grinning at him as she held him up by the throat. The boy looked like he was starting to go blue in the face; he was tapping Sakura's arm in an attempt to alleviate the pressure, but she just tightened her hold. Naruto had gone silent, argument forgotten as he grabbed Sakura's shoulder with a nervous smile.

"Uh, Sakura? I think he's had enough..."

Sakura looked up, and you finally got a clear look at the smile on her face. Rather than the playful, slightly guilty one that you'd expected, it was a familiar smirk that greeted you.

"Kakashi," you barked, but the man had already realized what was going on and taken action. He jumped at Sakura and freed Sasuke from her hold. You heard the boy coughing and taking in gasps of air before you lunged for Sakura, ignoring the part of your mind that was begging for this to be a dream, focusing instead on the problem right in front of you.

Save her, a part of you screamed. It was the part that she had helped you unlock. It was the one that had been growing since you escaped. It was one that you wanted to hold on to.

Stop her, another voice said, old and familiar like a long-forgotten friend. It was the Widow's voice, reaching out to you again after her long silence. Her phantom hands pressed against your back and pushed you towards Sakura—towards the threat—before she could reach Naruto. The boy had taken a defensive position, but he looked considerably more hesitant to engage with his friend than you felt. Before Sakura had a chance to lunge at him, you wrapped your arms around her waist and threw yourself back so that she landed on top of you.

"Sakura!" you shouted at her, wrapping your legs around her waist at the same time that Naruto and Kakashi grabbed each of her arms and pinned them to the ground. You could still hear Sasuke catching his breath a few feet away, and you tried not to focus on how pained his breathing sounded or how hard Sakura must have tried to kill him.

Not Sakura, you reminded yourself, Orochimaru.

"Sakura, you're stronger than he is," you grunted. Sakura growled, the sound almost animalistic, and Kakashi grabbed the back of her head before she could launch it back into your nose. She snarled again, baring her teeth at him and continuing her vicious fight against the three of you, "Sakura, please! If you can hear me, then fight!"

Her struggle continued, and you tightened your hold on her when her movements became more sporadic.

"Orochimaru," Kakashi said over Sakura, voice carrying across the room and leaving an echo in its wake. Sakura had gone silent in an instant, full attention on Kakashi, "interesting. So you can hear us and see us through her eyes?"

Sakura's eyes were blank, as if her body had been left vacant for a split second. Then she was blinking, and though her body had gone still in your arms, her lips split into a smirk.

"Sakura–" you croaked, tears burning in your eyes as the girl craned her neck as best she could to look at you. When she saw your broken expression, her smirk split into a grin and she let out a laugh.

"My Widow," Sakura whispered, studying your scar as if to confirm your identity, "I hope you enjoyed this phase of rebellion, but I've come to collect what you owe me."

"She doesn't owe you anything!"

"Quiet," Sakura hissed, whipping her head towards Naruto and silencing him with a single, scathing glare, "she owes me everything. She owes me her life. And that is what I've come to collect."

You could feel yourself beginning to shut down. These words were so familiar, and it had been far too long since you'd been reminded of your place. It was a shock to be thrown back into the mind of the Widow, but Orochimaru's were enough of a catalyst. Your head was spinning, and you fought to regain control over your senses despite feeling waves of nausea crashing into you.

"I want to kill you more than anything," Orochimaru said, and the words felt like daggers coming from Sakura's mouth.

This feeling of complete and utter helplessness was what you'd been battling against all this time. It was what you thought you'd overcome, but you were the same as before. You hadn't changed at all, and this was proof. One word from Orochimaru, and you were falling back into your bad habits like they were old friends welcoming you home.

It was as comforting as it was painful.

"It's an ironic kind of punishment for both of us that you're what I need to go back."

"You're more delusional than I expected."

Sakura turned towards Kakashi this time, blank expression focused on him. She studied him carefully, looking between his eyes for any hint of emotion other than forced indifference. He didn't blink.

"Hatake," she finally said with another grin.

"It's good to finally meet you, snake," Kakashi said patiently, still holding Sakura's arm despite her lack of struggle, "I hope you know that this is technically trespassing on SHIELD property."

"You stole something from me," Sakura shot back, "and I've come to collect it."

"You haven't come to collect anything," Kakashi shook his head, leaning closer to Sakura and looking into her eyes. Into the eyes that Orochimaru was watching him through, "you're nothing more than a coward. Not even brave enough to confront me face-to-face."

"You?" Sakura cackled. It sounded wrong coming from her, "I have no interest in you, or any confrontation. What I want is very simple. And I'm willing to offer a trade."

"We don't want anything from you–"

"Freedom," Sakura interrupted Naruto sharply, glaring at him intensely. Naruto flinched at the unfamiliar expression on Sakura's face and turned away, "for Sakura. That is what I'm offering. All I'm asking in return is for my Widow back."

That's it?

It seemed like an easy trade-off. Sakura's freedom? You were willing to give anything for that. Giving yourself up was always an option you'd considered, and now you had the opportunity to save her. She could finally live without fear, and without Orochimaru's control looming over her like puppet strings.

Freedom was the only thing you wanted for her. It was never something you expected for yourself, even if you'd momentarily deluded yourself into thinking it was a possibility.

Trying to be human had proven too difficult for you. Orochimaru was calling you, and you would answer with a promise of loyalty. For Sakura, you would give yourself back to him in a heartbeat.

"No."

You froze, limbs seizing at Kakashi's declaration. You stared wide-eyed at the ground, hearing only your quiet breaths as they began to quicken.

Then, like a switch flipping within you, anger crashed into you in waves.

"It'll only be a matter of time until we figure out how you're controlling her," Kakashi was saying, though you could barely hear him through the ringing in your ears and the heaviness of your breathing, "and then you'll have no power over us anymore."

A hypocrite. That's all Kakashi was. For all his talk about not wanting to be Orochimaru and about giving you back control of your own life, he was standing in front of you—not even looking at you—and deciding with no hesitation that you couldn't save Sakura.

No, that new, happier voice said. She could barely be heard over the Widow's ferocious anger, but she clawed her way to the surface and fought desperately to speak, don't do this. That's Orochimaru's voice in your head. That is exactly what he wants you to believe.

The Widow fought against this new voice, but she dug her fingers into your mind and refused to let go.

If you tell yourself that Kakashi is the enemy, you'll alienate yourself from the only people who have ever seen you as an individual. That's exactly what Orochimaru wants. Kakashi is just trying to–

"Wha...what's going on?"

Sakura's voice had changed again. It sounded terrified, and you realized that you were still immobilizing her in a vice-like grip. Despite your previous anger, you glanced at Kakashi almost involuntarily for confirmation that Orochimaru had let go of his hold on her.

"M-my head," she whispered, pressing her palms against her forehead and letting out a panicked, broken sob, "it hurts. Ah–Kakashi-sensei, it...it feels like I'm dying."

"Sakura," Kakashi yelled when the girl began to fall to the side, slumping into Kakashi arms and letting out sporadic, wheezing exhales, "Sakura, does anything else hurt?"

"I'm dying," Sakura choked, curling into herself on Kakashi lap and holding the back of her head against her chest, "it hurts so bad. I think...am I going to die?"

"No, Sakura, you're–"

"I don't wanna die. I can't...I just came back. I just came home. Please, just don't let me die."

"Orochimaru is still controlling her," you muttered, kneeling next to Sakura and placing a hand against her forehead. Her temperature was normal, "he's making her feel like this. He wants us to see it so we'll break."

And it was working.

Kakashi's indifferent mask had broken into something pained and terrified. Naruto was rambling to Sakura, telling her that everything was going to be okay. Sasuke was standing behind Kakashi, throat bruised with her handprint and fists clenched tight at his sides. He stared at Sakura with a pain in his eyes that you had never seen before.

You could stop this. It was such an easy problem to solve that it was almost laughable.

"Stop," you muttered, pulling Sakura's shoulder so that she was facing you. Your throat tightened at the sight of her face, streaked with tears and twisted in pain, "stop this. You can have me, so stop hurting her."

It took a moment, but you saw the shift that took place on Sakura's face. The pain fell away, and then that emptiness was back. You almost preferred the pain to this—she looked like a corpse.

"Think this through," Kakashi said next to you, voice shaky as he stared down at Sakura's limp body, "we can figure something else out."

"There is no other option, Kakashi," you muttered, anger forgotten. You were too tired for anger. You had already made up your mind. "You have your family. They can all be safe again."

Kakashi stared at you, eyebrows pinched together and still just as pained as they were before. You wanted to run a hand over his forehead and smooth out the frustrated wrinkles in his skin. You wanted to tell him that this was okay with you. That this was what you wanted. To protect Sakura. To protect him and Naruto and Sasuke. To give them back their lives.

They had a chance to be a safe. You weren't going to let them give that up.

Sakura began to move slowly. Her movements were robotic enough that Kakashi and Naruto allowed her to stand, though they stayed close to her side and followed her to the kitchen. She picked up a spare napkin from breakfast and swiped away your empty plate with little regard to it shattering on the floor.

"Pen."

It wasn't Orochimaru's voice, but it wasn't Sakura's voice either. It was like an empty void had taken hold of her, expending only the energy necessary to complete its task.

Sasuke placed a blunt marker into her waiting hand, though she didn't seem bothered by the divergence from her instructions. Instead, she scribbled something on the napkin, then handed it to you with empty eyes. She was looking right through you, recognizing you only as the recipient of the note that she'd written. On it was an address.

"This is your house," you muttered, glancing at Kakashi with wide eyes.

"Meet there," Sakura commanded monotonously. Then, with no warning, she crumpled to the ground.

For as long as you had known her, Sakura had been fascinated by mythology.

She would tell you stories when the darkness of a cell became suffocating for both of you. She would whisper the words with so much excitement, wanting to share the stories that you'd never had the opportunity to hear. She'd tell you about Helen and Artemis and the magnificent creatures that lurked in forests and within caves. She transported you into a world wholly different from your own, where you could imagine yourself sailing the Aegean Sea in the open air, part of an equal collective of heroes whose responsibilities matched your own. Where you could swim with mermaids and face Charybdis' crashing waves and the monstrous form of Scylla. Where pain was simply a part of adventure rather than a means of control.

When you were free, she gave you the book of Greek myths that Kakashi had read to her as a child. She said that you always seemed interested in what you had to say, and you kept it by your bedside in Kakashi's room and reread the stories that Sakura had once told you. You told her every time she asked what you thought that you preferred the way she told them.

You remembered reading about the HYDRA. That was one story that Sakura never told when you were both in the Red Room. You had stared at the detailed painting of its long, snaking heads and the sharp points of its teeth and wondered if this was how Orochimaru saw himself. As one of those terrifying creatures, looming over the world like a god and multiplying each time he raised a girl to become a killer.

The Hydra had poisonous blood so virulent that even its scent was deadly. The Hydra possessed many heads and had regenerative power: for every head chopped off, the Hydra would regrow two in its place.

Orochimaru had left Kakashi's door hanging open in invitation. Kakashi's hands were wrapped tight around the steering wheel, though you were doing your best not to look at him. You almost couldn't stand the tension in the car or the silence that had persisted since Sakura passed out. She was sitting in between Naruto and Sasuke in the back seat, slumped on Sasuke's shoulder and supported by Naruto's arms around her waist, holding her steady. She hadn't stirred since she collapsed.

Kabuto was waiting for you in the doorway. You felt a chill race down your spine at the sight of him, and you could already feel yourself beginning to shut down. You could practically feel the intensity of his gaze, and you wondered if the slight ache in your cheek was a phantom pain that originated from your many memories of his fists hitting you again and again, insisting that pain was the only way to make you stronger.

You had become so weak. You hadn't realized it before, but you'd been too relaxed while you were with Kakashi and the others. You'd let your guard down for too long, and now you were paying for it.

Kakashi didn't move when you opened the car door. You glanced back at Naruto and Sasuke with a silent but firm order: do not come out of the car.

Kabuto didn't move when you began approaching him. His face remained expressionless, though you could see the tension in his body. His hands were balled into fists, and when you finally stopped a few feet away from him, his eyes narrowed just slightly.

Kakashi opened his door at the same time that Kabuto took a single step forward and slapped you across the cheek. The strength of it left your face stinging, and you felt your lip beginning to bleed where a ring had caught on the skin. It was far too familiar to be surprising.

"You have no idea how much you've destroyed," Kabuto said, and you only began to understand just how angry he was when you heard his voice. It was low and dangerous; the man was usually more composed than anyone you'd ever met. This level of anger from him was new territory. "If we didn't need you, I'd kill you where you stand."

You kept your lips sealed shut, ignoring Kakashi standing at your back. You saw Kabuto's eyes shift to meet his and waited with shallow breaths for one of them to move. You certainly wouldn't be the first.

"I see you've found another master," Kabuto sneered, glaring at you once again when he'd finished studying the indifferent expression on Kakashi's face. Kabuto grabbed your shirt and jerked you forward, his movements sudden and sporadic. You reached back and caught Kakashi's arm just as he began to move it. This wasn't the time to hinder Kabuto or Orochimaru from doing what they wanted. Not with Sakura's life on the line.

Kakashi's arm was tense in your grip. You tightened your fingers around his wrist just slightly, hoping that your silent reassurance would be conveyed in the gesture.

You knew it would only do so much. Time and time again, Sakura was being ripped away from him. He had to be sick of seeing her in pain.

And one cause of that pain was standing right in front of him.

Kabuto pulled you close enough that his lips were next to your ear. You felt warm breath on your skin and closed your eyes, fighting not to shrink away.

"You're nothing," he hissed. "Don't forget that just because you're needed."

You knew what you were. You had always known—you had just forgotten. For the briefest moment, you'd deluded yourself into thinking that you could mean something. That you could become someone.

A pipe dream. That was all it would ever be.

The creature was so poisonous that it killed men with its breath, and if anyone passed by when it was sleeping, they breathed its tracks and died in the greatest torment. Even the smallest contact with the Hydra’s blood could be fatal.

Orochimaru was waiting for you on Kakashi's couch. He didn't seem bothered by Kakashi's presence at your side; he must've been confident in the threat that he was holding over you both. He knew after Kakashi's many attempts to get Sakura back that he wouldn't risk her. Not for you.

Kabuto had said it himself. You were nothing.

When you saw Orochimaru for the first time after so long, it felt like you'd never left his side. You mind went blank, and you froze where you stood. You barely noticed Kakashi's pack scattered around the room, all motionless but still visibly breathing.

You were at attention, though you made sure that you weren't looking directly at Orochimaru. He didn't tolerate eye contact with his Widows. He claimed that it made them seem too human—too emotional. He wanted complete detachment from any kind of personal connection with you. To the Widows, Orochimaru wanted to be a god—untouchable and all-powerful.

You couldn't move. Your body wasn't responding to any of your brain's commands. You just stood, waiting for your fate like a deer waiting patiently for headlights to meet it. Orochimaru stood from the couch in silence, calm and collected and appearing as if he was in complete control of his emotions.

You tried to embody that same control, but found that panic mounted within you each time he took a step in your direction. By the time he had stopped in front of you, you'd stopped breathing altogether in an effort to hide your fear. To hide how terrified you were at the idea of going back to him. Any residual longing you'd felt for the familiarity of the Red Room disappeared as you stared at the wall next to him, eyes and lungs burning. With Orochimaru so close for the first time in months, you wondered how you had ever wanted to be near someone who's entire being screamed danger.

Orochimaru didn't move for a long moment. When he did, you felt the pressure of his cold fingers gripping your chin. He moved your face until you were forced to meet his gaze.

Terror seized your body when you finally looked into Orochimaru's cold, snake-like eyes. He was looking at you like he could see into the very depths of your soul, and you finally exhaled in a choked, broken whimper. There was the slightest upward twitch of Orochimaru's lips.

"You've made things very difficult for me," he said, the words slithering from his mouth like a snake escaping a cage. You felt them coiling around your throat with the familiar intent to kill. Despite how calm he may have looked, you had been studying him for signs of anger your whole life. His fury was practically dripping from the corners of his mouth as his lips shifted up into a smirk, "but even so, I've decided that you still have a place as a Widow."

Orochimaru's fingers had tightened on your chin, and his smile had widened into something crazed.

"You want that, don't you?"

Speaking seemed like an impossible task, but you forced your lips to part and felt the expected answer forming in your throat.

"Yes," you croaked, though it was hardly convincing. Orochimaru laughed and turned you around to face Kakashi and Kabuto where they stood in the doorway. Orochimaru's fingers fell to the back of your neck, and you recognized the warning in his tight grip.

"Then why don't you tell that to Hatake before he does something he'll regret."

You took a moment to clear the fog from your mind and look at Kakashi. The indifferent mask had fallen from his face, and Orochimaru seemed to see how desperate he was to stop the scene that was unfolding in front of him. Kabuto was keeping him far enough from you that he wouldn't interfere, but his shoulders were rising and falling too quickly to be from anything but panic. He looked ready to lunge towards you the second he found an opening.

His eyes met yours immediately when you turned around, searching for anything other than the desperate terror and resigned acceptance that he saw.

You wished you felt brave enough to speak. To reassure him and stop him from panicking when he didn't need to.

Don't move. Don't let him hurt her. It's okay. This was always going to happen.

"Tell him," Orochimaru ordered, "where it is that you belong."

His hand on the back of your neck felt like a shock to your system, waking you to the reality of what was happening. You were back in Orochimaru's cruel hands, waiting with bated breath for his next move. But through your hazy panic, one thought fought through and left your lips before you could even consider stopping it.

"Not until you fix her."

Kabuto froze at your words. He knew that as well as you did that ignoring Orochimaru's orders almost always ended in death.

"You offered a trade," you croaked. You voice sounded weak, and you almost felt ashamed that Kakashi was seeing you at such a low point, "so hold up your end of the bargain."

"Look at you," Orochimaru said with another laugh, condescension dripping from the words, "I almost want to be proud, but you and I both know that you weren't raised to speak out against me."

You wished you had never left. You wished you had just given Sakura to Kakashi the day that he came for her and gone back inside. You wished that he had left you there.

"You forgot your place, and now you've made it my job to remind you," Orochimaru hissed in your ear. "Now tell him where you belong."

"No," you whispered, the word so faint that you weren't even sure if you'd said it. But the tightening of Orochimaru's fingers around your neck was evidence enough that he'd heard you. Kakashi took a step forward, but froze when Kabuto raised a gun and pointed it at his chest. His wide eyes were still studying you, watching every minute reaction to Orochimaru's torment.

The man that he'd been itching to get his hands on was right here in front of him. He was close enough that he could take one leap forward and close his hands around the man's throat. He could fix this. He could stop you from giving yourself back to him.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Naruto's voice was high and panicked on the opposite side of the door. He was keeping his distance, and it was clear that he didn't see you or Orochimaru standing in the center of the room, but Orochimaru still held tight to your neck to keep you from moving towards the boy. You closed your eyes and fought against the urge to follow Naruto's distressed cry.

Kakashi's reaction was instantaneous. He had turned around in a heartbeat, ignoring Kabuto's weapon and taking a step out of the house to face Naruto.

"Sakura's seizing!"

Kakashi's body went taut at the same time that all of the fight drained from your body. This was it. This was Orochimaru's trump card; the one thing that he could hold over your head that would make you do anything he asked.

He could kill Sakura. He didn't even have to be in the same room as her to make her heart stop.

"That's enough," you croaked, attempting to face Orochimaru but stopping when he thumb pressed deep into the junction of your neck, "I understand. I belong in the Red Room. I-I belong to you."

You heaved against the panic that still swirled in your stomach. Nausea was crashing in waves inside of you, and you thought you would've collapsed had it not been for Orochimaru holding you up by your throat.

"She stopped!" Sasuke shouted, voice farther from the house than Naruto's. Kakashi visibly relaxed and ordered Naruto to go back to the car and watch over Sakura. Naruto didn't protest.

Kabuto looked satisfied by your compliance, but Orochimaru was still tight. There was a long pause after your words, and you wondered if it was too late to give him the answer he wanted. Maybe you'd already dug your grave deep enough to lay in.

I belong to you.

You tried to change. You tried to escape. You tried to become human.

It just wasn't what fate had in store for you.

"Good."

Orochimaru's grip slackened, and he let you fall past his fingers until your knees hit the floor with a hard thump. You stared down at the wood with wide eyes, wondering how everything had changed so fast. Just this morning you'd discovered that today was your birthday, and Kakashi was making you pancakes with the kids. And not even two hours had passed.

Kakashi knelt in front of you with little concern about Kabuto or Orochimaru. You couldn't bare to look at him—not after he'd seen what Orochimaru could do to you. At how quickly you'd let him erase months of progress.

You felt hesitant, careful fingers brushing against your cheeks, and when you didn't react to the touch, Kakashi pressed his hands on either side of your face and lifted it so that you were forced to meet his eyes. It was a much gentler way of meeting your eyes, and you felt a deep sense of longing for it.

"I'm sorry," you croaked, "I tried."

He shook his head, brushing his thumb under your eye to keep a tear from falling. He was close enough that you knew Kabuto and Orochimaru wouldn't be able to see the movement, but neither were paying attention to the scene. Kabuto was waiting impatiently for Orochimaru to become bored with the emotional display, but Orochimaru was silently standing a few steps from you, barely paying attention to what the scene.

"Don't do this," Kakashi whispered. You wondered if you could trap the sound of his voice in your mind and hold on to it while you rotted away in the depths of the Red Room, "we can protect her."

"I know we can," you said back with a slight smile. You pressed a hand against his and closed your eyes, wondering why you hadn't accepted this kindness from him earlier. Maybe you would've gotten more of it before it was ripped away. Enough that it would take longer to forget the feeling of how warm his hand felt against your skin. But you knew that the feeling would slip away before you were ready to let it go, "just make sure she doesn't blame herself for this."

"I can protect you both," he pleaded. Your breath hitched, though it sounded more like a broken sob. Kakashi's face fell even further.

No one had ever protected you. No one had ever been given the chance. And no matter how much you wished it, Kakashi wouldn't be able to either.

"Take care of them."

Some ancient writers tried to come up with a rational explanation for the myth of the Hydra. Heraclitus, for example, suggested that the Hydra really had only one head, but was accompanied by its numerous brood—that is, the Hydra was really many snakes rather than a single many-headed snake.

"One of your doctors is a Widow," Orochimaru told Kakashi from the doorway, "her name is Shizune. She's the reason that Sakura's examinations weren't conclusive. You'll be able to get answers from her after six months have passed. In those six months, I won't have any use for Sakura, so unless you come looking for me or my Widows, she won't be in danger."

"Absolutely not. That's not what we agreed–"

"You have no bargaining power," Orochimaru snapped, looking down on Kakashi like the man was an ant that he wanted to crush. You shrunk away from him and back towards Orochimaru to avoid any further retaliation against either of you. Kakashi's hands fell from your face as you leaned away, and you tried not to feel like you were ripping yourself away from the only chance you'd ever had at happiness.

"Forget the Red Room and any connection you and Sakura have to it, and you won't ever have to see it again."

You were hesitant to look at Kakashi again, but the fury on his face when you did left you paralyzed.

Was that anger for Sakura?

Was it for you?

"Understand one thing," Kakashi said lowly, eyes alight with an unfamiliar rage, "I'll never forget this. And one way or another, I'll see you again."

"If that days comes," Orochimaru said with a dark smile, lips split like an open wound, "it'll be your last moments alive."

A sharp sting in your neck finally made you look away from Kakashi. His eyes widened when your body went slack and you fell to the side. He reached forward and caught your head before it could hit the floor, but his hand quickly disappeared when you were lifted into less gentle arms. You recognized the grip as Kabuto's, and despite your best efforts to stay conscious enough to be aware of your surroundings, darkness quickly swallowed your vision.

The Hydra's one immortal head was cut off with a golden sword given to Heracles by Athena. Heracles placed the head—still alive and writhing—under a great rock on the sacred way between Lerna and Elaius, and dipped his arrows in the Hydra's poisonous blood.

The last thing you saw was Kakashi, out of focus and still kneeling on the ground with his hands resting on the floor in front of him. Darkness prevailed, and freedom slipped through your fingers.

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Author's note | i'm sorry this chapter took me so long. i rewrote the end after i had it basically finished because i didn't love how it turned out, but i think i'm happy with how it ended up. it also ended up being very long oops. please let me know what you think!

also if you're interested please check out the spotify playlist linked with the summary. i'm lowkey obsessed with it.

title is from "Timefighter" by Lucy Dacus

#kakashi #kakashi x reader #kakashi x you #kakashi x y/n #kakashi imagine #kakashi hatake #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi hatake x you #kakashi hatake x y/n #kakashi hatake imagine #naruto #trr #emwrites

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flyingraijin · 2 years ago

Text

motive (you treat me like gold) | K. Hatake

Summary: Five times you leave Kakashi helplessly flustered and the one time he's able to get back at you for it.

Warnings: 5+1 trope, fluff, humour, awkward sexual situations, dry humping, cunnilingus, vaginal fingering, creampie

Word Count: 18 986

Available on AO3 here

Note: I finally wrote something for Kakashi, yeeeeee!!!

Kakashi can't quite decide whether this is a good idea or a very very bad one.

He supposes that a case could be made for either side - not the best odds in his personal opinion, but he'll also be the first to admit that he's never been the most fussy about that sort of thing.

It's supposed to be a relaxing trip, this whole thing. A lot of Shinobi do it - take a short detour on their way back to Konoha after they complete a mission, to visit a tiny little town that's only about half a days walk off course. There are hot springs all over the place but this town has the best of them and Kakashi would have to agree that sinking into scalding water after days or even weeks of living on the road is about as close to heaven as one could get. The mission he'd been on this time, along with Team 7, was grueling to say the least. Hours upon hours of fighting and very little sleep had left all their bones feeling achey and sore. Naruto in particular had ended up with a bruise about the size of a large ramen bowl on his upper back, and he'd complained loudly about it the entire walk back. That was part of the reason why Kakashi had decided to bring them here - the water of the onsen was said to have healing properties and while Kakashi wasn't quite sure he believed that , he could admit that a nice warm bath would make them all feel better.

He hasn't expected it to be quite so crowded however.

As it turned out, Team 7 wasn't the only one on a difficult mission. Kakashi's blood had run cold when he'd stepped into the all-male bathing area only to have his ears violently bombarded with a loud yellow of "Kakashi!" in an all too familiar and enthusiastic voice. It was also around that time that Rock Lee - wearing only a very precariously wrapped towel - had tackled Naruto, and Akamaru - why was the dog allowed in the bath? - had started barking. And Kakashi had retreated without even getting into the water because after being with his three little monsters for almost three weeks stright, he had a feeling his brain might melt out of his ears if he was subjected to any more chaos.

The blessing about this bath house in particular was the fact that it had three different baths. A males only, a females only and a mixed area. Usually Kakashi would avoid the mixed baths if he could, primarily because most of the time they were filled with creeping perverts like Jiraiya, and Kakashi didn't want to be associated with anyone of that calibre, thanks. But right then, as he could hear the yelling and splashing from the all-male onsen even through the dividing wall, he figured he'd take whatever the mixed bath could throw at him over being drowned in sulphur water by Guy.

Mercifully, when Kakashi arrived in the mixed bathing area, it was blessedly empty. And he was able to sink down into the steaming water right up to his eyes and say his thanks to the gods that mixed bathes were invented in the first place.

That is until he was faced with the possibility that someone might have the same idea as him and come to disturb his peace. Cue the ultimate dilemma.

It's becauee of this that Kakashi finds himself watching the entrance to the mixed onset like a hawk, his face still half submerged in the water and his body far too tense for someone taking a bath.

He supposes that if a total stranger walks in, it would be okay. Unfortunately, he also knows that with so many people he knows wandering around, the chances that it will be a complete stranger are slim to none.

For a long time he just sits, watching the doorway with sharp eyes - or eye , since he keeps his left eyelid tight shut - and keeping his senses alert to the approach of any chakra presences. Ands for a long time he feels and sees nothing. It's around ten minutes later when something happens and it has Kakashi's heart sinking in his chest.

The doorframe creaks just a little as the door slides open, and Kakashi's pulse leaps into his throat as a pair of legs appear. He knows that chakra signature, just like he knows those calf muscles. And if he's honest, it's probably the very last person in the whole world he'd want to see here.

You freeze up the moment you notice him, your eyes wide and your fingers tightening around the towel that you - thank the gods for Kakashi's sake - have wrapped around your waist.

"Oh crap."

Kakashi blinks, staring blankly for a second. And then, very hastily, he drops his eyes. His cheeks are uncomfortable warm.

What's even worse is the fact that you seem just as flustered. Which upsets Kakashi because you don't usually get flustered about anything. He had basically grown up with you after all, considering your relation to his former sensei, and he'd truly believed you could be confident in the face of anything. You'd even appeared stark naked in front of him a few times for gods know what reason, and even then you'd kept your dignity.

Now though, Kakashi can watch in real time as your face crumples and your posture turns reserved and self-conscious. You can't really even look at his face as you sink into your towel.

"I…" you stumble out, "I'm sorry, I didn't know there was someone in here."

Kakashi gulps, clears his throat. Then he says, "Don't worry about it."

"I wanted somewhere quiet," you explain to him, shifting your weight from foot to foot. "Anko got kind of drunk and I was worried she was going to smother me in her… yeah. But I can leave if you want to be alone!"

You're already turning to go and Kakashi feels his stomach do a flip when he catches a glimpse of the contours of your shoulder blades - shoulder blades, really? - but he's quick to call you back anyway, immediately feeling guilty.

(He also doesn't want to admit but he likes the idea of having you around, even in his embarrassing state of undress)

"It's alright, you can stay if you want," he tells you earnestly. "I don't mind. And I think… it'd be nice to have someone to talk to anyway."

You give him an almost skeptical look but don't turn away any further. "Well, if you're comfortable…" you say awkwardly after a second. "I'll, uh, keep my towel on though."

Kakashi turns pink - even pinker than the steaming bathwater had made him - and has to resist the urge to duck his head underwater. "That's fine," he tells you, his voice just a tad weak and squeaky.

You nod at him and then step forward, and oh gods, Kakashi realises then and there how screwed he is. He doesn't want to look, he shouldn't even feel the desire to look. He reads so much smut on a day-to-day basis that he should be entirely immune to this sort of thing by now. And yet, he can't help but watch, can't help but let his eyes wander as you reach the edge of the pool. His gaze travels up your bare leg as you stretch it out to drop your foot down into the steaming water. Your skin is already dewy with moisture in a way that makes Kakashi's heart beat at least three times as fast as normal. And then it almost stops when, as you go to step your other foot into the bath, your short towel rides up just the tiniest bit and he catches a glimpse of the glowing skin of your upper thigh.

Kakashi's not a virgin. He's not. Bur he absolutely feels like one as he has to adjust himself and very pointedly stare down at the steaming water to stop his entire body from buffering as you slip down into the bath up until your chest.

It probably wouldn't be like this if it was any of the other women in his life. Anko, Kurenai, Shizune or even the great Lady Tsunade herself, who is arguably one if the most beautiful women in the whole of Konohagakure. All of them, he'd be just fine with. But, so very unfortunately, it's not them, it's you . And it just so happens that Kakashi has had the biggest crush on you since the pair of you had ended up in ANBU together when you were teenagers.

Maybe looking at her face will be better, Kakashi thinks to himself as he shifts his legs where he's sitting, trying desperately to dissuade that thing which is growing stiff between his thighs. Yes, that will definitely be better.

Only it's very much not better. When Kakashi manages to persuade his eyes to lift again and turns his focus to your face, the thing he very suddenly feels is uncomfortably similar to that of being punched right in the solar plexus.

There's warmth visible in the deep colours of your cheeks and your lips are just a little swollen from the heat. Moisture has dampened the skin of your face, beading along your temple and only visible for the fact that your hair has been pushed up and away from your skin. A few strands hang down at yours ears, and when you turn your head a little, Kakashi can see there's another curl, dark with water, stuck to the back of your neck.

It's not an erotic sight, not at all. You're just taking a bath. And yet Kakashi's disgusting, perverted mind can't help but skew the image just a little. He gulps and ducks his head once again as burning heat tickles up his neck.

Ah, fuck me.

"I didn't know you were here," you tell him once your back is settled against the opposite side of the bath to him. "I saw Sakura in the other bath. Did you just get done with your mission?"

Kakashi nods, shifting once again as he desperately tries to conceal his growing arousal. Stop it , he tells himself desperately. If she realises, she'll never speak to you again!

"We were in the Land of Tea," he says aloud, fighting to keep his voice even. "The mission rang longer than expected so I thought coming here would be a nice treat for the kids. Might stop Naruto from complaining about how I never take them anywhere good." He offers you a weak smile.

Thankfully, you seem to remain oblivious to his predicament and let out a soft giggle. "I can imagine. I'm sure I heard him talking over the wall actually - something about battle scars?"

"He got nicked by a kunai on his cheek," Kakashi offers. "It's probably that."

You snort. "Makes sense."

"Did you just get back a mission too?" Kakashi asks you then. "I remember you left the village before us."

You nod as you cup your hands and raise them above the surface of the water, watching the small streams that escape between your fingers. "Yeah. I had an ANBU assignment and then I met up with Anko to go to the Land of Rice Lemons."

"Ah." Kakashi nods. "Everything went well, then?"

You shrug one shoulder and Kakashi has to look away from the droplet of water that rolls down the exposed line of your neck. Blood pulses between his legs.

"For the most part. Although I was the only shinobi able to use medical ninjutsu on the team again, so I had to do a lot of healing. As usual."

Right. Kakashi forgets sometimes, with how good of a fighter you are, that you also have training as a medical-nin. Not as advanced as Tsunade or Shizune, since it's not your primary area of focus. But good enough to act as an emergency medic on a mission.

"I can see why you want some time off."

You smile a little, which makes Kakashi's stomach do a couple of forward flips, and shrug one shoulder. "Yeah. I am used to it. Although, I can't say I'm looking forward to getting home. I don't doubt Lady Hokage will send me off on another mission as soon as I've had my mandatory downtime."

"Maa, it'll be the same for me I'm sure," Kakashi says, his shoulders drooping just a little as he thinks of the thick stack of mission requests Tsunade will inevitably hand him once he gets back to Konohagakure. "I supposes it just the drill now, with how short on jounin we are."

"Yeah," you say. Then you give him a long look from beneath your eyelashes - a long look which makes Kakashi shiver inside his skin. And it only solidifies the boner he's got. Gods, he hopes you never figure out what's going on.

"I'd like it if we got assigned on a joined mission," you tell him then, so plainly he almost doesn't register what you'd said. Your voice is soft, innocent, and it only serves to make Kakashi blush even harder.

And then, when he actually processes what you've told him, he has to dig his own fingers into the skin of his thigh to suppress the shiver that runs up his spine. You, the shinobi most notorious for swearing off team-ups if you could help it, suppressing an interest in joining him on a mission?

Kakashi isn't sure why but he has a very sudden and very bizarre feeling that he might come right there.

"Y-yeah, that's be… that's be nice," he squeaks out. "I'd like that."

You blink languidly, and while it's definitely not on purpose, Kakashi has to forcibly drop his eyes once again. Then he hears your soft laugh.

"Don't act so shy, Kakashi. We've worked together a lot before. I trust you."

You shouldn't, Kakashi thinks wildly. Oh gods, you shouldn't. I'm a horrible person.

"Anyway, I'll ask the Hokage about it when I get back. I'm sure she'll be able to-"

Only yours words die out when there's a very loud, very bellowy yell of your name from over the fence where, presumably, the all ladies onsen is. You visibly wince.

"Ah, geez, guess Anko has finally figured out I've escaped."

"Guess so…" Kakashi says, so desperately trying to seem normal. You let out a long sigh.

"I suppose I should go wrangle her before she tears this place apart looking for me." And then you stand up and fuck, Kakashi would have liked a warning.

"It was nice seeing you, Kakashi," you tell him sweetly as you climb out of the bath. Kakashi stares hard at the puddle forming around your feet so he doesn't have to look at the water droplets rolling down you legs.

"You too," he tells you and he thinks you smile back at him.

"Bye!"

Kakashi doesn't relax until you've left the bathing area completely and the door has been slid tightly back into place. It's only then that he releases the sigh he didn't know he was holding. Dejectedly, he slides down in the water until it's almost reaching his eyes.

I'm an awful human being is what he thinks to himself sadly. Truly heinous. I'm more of a pervert than Jiraiya could ever be.

He feels guilty. And embarrassed. And he knows he should completely wipe this whole incident from his mind and forget it ever happened in the first place.

He knows he should. But he also knows, already, as he sits in the steaming water with bright red cheeks and a raging hard on, that he'll be seeing the image of your dripping wet figure, one hand holding up the soaked towel that's plastered to every curve and contour of your body, and that adorable smile on your face, pasted into the backs of his eyelids for at least the next two weeks.

Very much to Kakashi's surprise, just over a month after what he's come to call the "onsen incident", that team up mission you'd mentioned actually happens.

Lady Tsunade doesn't usually take suggestions in terms of the missions she assigns. Personal preference for the involved shinobi is quite far down in the list of factors she deems to consider when handing out work, with things like skill level and expertise, payment, and who was available being seen as far higher priority factors. So Kakashi was very surprised when he was called into the Hokage's office and handed an S-rank mission with you standing right at his elbow.

"This will probably end up being extremely combat oriented," Tsunade had explained as she'd handed out the mission briefs. "Which is why I've sent you two." But Kakashi hadn't missed the look you'd shared with her, or the tiny smile she'd flashed in your direction.

Not that he'd minded at all - at least at first. You weren't the only one keen on a team up after all. Since the pair of you had trained so closely, and then worked together in ANBU, your coordination on the battlefield was now like a well-oiled machine. Putting the two of you on any one task was almost a guarenteed success.

It had left Kakashi in a decidedly good mood during the days leading up to his departure with you. And even during the long trek to the Land of Iron, with the weather turning from warm and balmy to absolutely freezing, he'd had a certain spring in his step.

He'll admit now though, that his mood has been slightly dampened. He supposes that will happen to you when a group of bow-and-arrow-wieding samurai gang up on you ten to one and send you fleeing through terrain covering in at least a metre's worth of snow.

Tsunade had said the mission would be combat oriented. But the way Kakashi sees it now, what he's doing isn't so much combat as it is desperately trying not to get killed.

"Kakashi!" He hears your voice, shrill and alert, from just up ahead of him. You're sprinting, just as he is, through the snow - although he thinks you're decidedly more graceful that he must be. He sees you point off to your right. "If we head for the tree line it will give us some cover! And moving through the branches will be quicker than running like this."

"Right!" Kakashi yells back, and then quickly moves his head just a little to the side to avoid an arrow that comes shooting past with a zing! In sync, the pair of you make a B line towards the dark splodge that is all you can see of the start of the forest through the falling snow.

Kakashi dodges another arrow and then ups his speed just a little. His feet crunch hard against the fresh snow, sinking into it just a little too far for his long stride to be as effective as usual.

"Shit!"

Kakashi looks forward just fast enough to see an arrow fly right past your face. It nicks across your nose and even catches a few strands of your hair on its way past; slicing right through them with how sharp it is. You stumble just a little, thrown off balance with the unsteady footing and your lightening fast reaction. And that's when Kakashi hears it; the telltale zip of another arrow; one that's heading right towards where your neck will be.

He moves before he can think about it - which is probably stupid on his part. Your reflexes are fast enough that you would have been able to dodge it even without his help. But Kakashi's instincts are too strong - he's seen too many people die in front of him, and while his head knows you'll get out alive, his heart isn't so sure. His step is fast enough that he disappears form visibility for a second, only to reappear once more right in the pathway of the arrow. He has just enough time to turn so he doesn't take it right to the chest, and then he hears you let out a squeak of surprise as the razor sharp tip of the arrow bruises itself neatly into the muscle of his shoulder.

Kakashi lets put a stifled groan because crap, that really stings. But he only lets himself falter for a second before he grabs your elbow and the pair of you are off again, into the treetops and then shooting off as far away from the samurai archers as you possibly can.

You only slow down once you're both entirely sure there's no one else around anymore. You alight on the thick branch of a snow covered pine tree and Kakashi does the same on a different tree. For a moment the both of you just stare at each other for a second, breathing hard. And then Kakashi winces.

Right, he remembers as what feels like liquid fire begins to spread across his shoulder blade. I got shot.

By the look on you face, it seems you've remembered too.

"We should make camp here," you tell him, crossing your arms over your chest. "I need to look at that."

Kakashi hides a pained expression behind his mask. "I'm just fine," he tries to tell you. But you just shake your head at him in response.

"For all we know, that arrow was poisoned. Plus, your chakra is running low. You've used your raikiri how many times today?"

Kakashi doesn't have an answer for that because he knows that you're right. So he just lets his shoulders slump - and immediately regrets it because it shifts the arrow in his flesh and sends a new burst of fire through his back - and nods a little dejectedly. You give him a nod of your own, far more confident than he is, and then turn. He watches as you begin the familiar process of setting up camp - littering the clearing with your sealed kunai, making up the beginnings of a small fire, and unrolling your bedroll. It's not snowing in this area, with the pair of you having fled the Land of Iron and put some distance between yourself and the border, however, it's still decidedly chilly. Kakashi can feel the cold starting to set in as he leans down to grab his own bedroll, which is not really a nice feeling at all when paired with the burning from the wound.

You grab it before he can though, and send him a very stern look as you roll it out for him. Then you point at it in a way that tells Kakashi doing as you instruct is by no means a request but rather an order.

"Sit."

Kakashi sits. You kneel down behind him. He feels the shift in the arrowhead as you grasp it around the shaft.

"I'm going to pull it out," you tell him, "and when I do, you'll need to be quick getting the rest of your clothes off. I'm familiar with the posions the Samurai use and a lot of the time they'd designed to be fast sacting from the moment the source object is removed."

"Got it," Kakashi mumbles, suddenly feeling distinctly useless. "Clothes off a soon as the arrow is out."

You flick the back of his head and then let out a soft, amused noise. Kakashi kind of hates how, even with how short and insignificant it is, the sound relaxes him almost completely. "Quit stressing, Lightening Boy," you tell him cheekily. "I'm a great medic. You're in good hands."

Kakashi doesn't even have time to respond before you wrap your fingers more securely around the arrow and then yank it right out of his shoulder.

It's like molten rock has been poured across his back and Kakashi finds his eyes watering as a silent gasp of pain leaves him. He pushes through it though, focussing on the instruction you'd given him, and as soon as he sees you set the arrow on the ground out of the corner of his eye, he gets to work stripping. First the long wrap he'd been wearing, then his flak jounin vest. The latter falls to the ground with a somewhat heavy thud and you inspect it gingerly as he wrestles with his shirt.

"You're gonna need to fix this. It's quite an ugly looking hole."

Kakashi can only grunt as, finally, he gets his shirt off and ends up sitting in just his very thin undershirt which attaches to his mask. Thankfully, the shirt is cropped enough that it exposes the arrow wound without Kakashi having to take it off.

For a moment, he thinks he's safe. But then, when he feels you fingers dance across the skin of his back and shouder blade for the first time, he starts to realise that it's quite the opposite in fact.

Oh gods.

Your finger tips barely brush his skin, your touch as light as the kiss of a butterflies wing, and yet it does things to Kakashi. Things that are not at all appropriate, given the circumstances.

He coughs and shifts a bit, trying to draw his legs a little closer.

"You're lucky," you tell him then, pressing your palm flat to his shoulder blade - Kakashi has to utilise every ounce of his self control to prevent himself from gasping; how can your hand even be that soft???? - while the other hand pokes very gently around the wound. "I'm about ninety nine percent sure what poison this is, and I know I have an antidote for it."

"You do?" Kakashi asks, and immediately regrets it because his voice comes our far weaker than it should. Your fingers are still on his skin, rubbing back and forth, and while it brings some slight pain, the fact that all the nerves in that area are going into overdrive only makes things ten times worse.

No, Kakashi thinks to himself as his eyes flicker down and he sees something stir in the crotch of his trousers. Oh no. Please not now.

His body has other plans as blood rushes through his veins, right to the area it really should not be.

"Let me just…" you mumble slowly, still examining him. Then, thank gods, you turn and take both hand off his back, reaching for the arrow you'd discarded. Kakashi twists his head a little to watch as you touch a finger to the arrow head and then raise it to your tongue, tasting. Immediately you spit, and put the arrow down again.

"Yeah, it is what I thought it is," you say, reaching under your own robe to rifled through your pack. Once you receive a small jar, you turn back to Kakashi. He looks away as fast as possible.

"It's a localised poison," you tell him as you uncap the jar and then start touching his back again. Kakashi stifles a whimper. "It's comprised of several reagents which prevent the wound from healing and, if left long enough, disrupt the closest tenketsu points. Without the antidote, you might have lost your ability to use ninjutsu and genjutsu. Lucky for you, I'm here."

"Lucky," Kakashi creaks, although he's starting to think that maybe that would have been better than this. Your hands are back, now rubbing the antidote into the wound and Kakashi is almost glad for the pain it brings. He doesn't have a pain kink, thank fuck, so the burning sensation that comes from you literally sticking your fingers into the slice in his skin does help to dissolve the arousal bioling in his gut, just a little.

Unfortunately, it doesn't last long. After a few seconds, you're done with the cool paste and, after putting the lid of the tub back on and safely storing it away once again, you get to the medical ninjutsu. And gods, does that make everything so much worse.

No one really speaks about how much of an intimate process healing actually is. Kakashi has always thought so, extensively, though he doesn't really mind much with other healers. You, however…

The thing about medical ninjustsu is that it feels almost like a bath in someone else's chakra. As your hands press gently into his skin and that familiar tingly feeling of the jutsu washes over his shoulder, Kakashi actually has to stop himself from moaning. It's so you , as if a piece of your soul and your essence is permeating his entire being, and it's almost suffocating. But… in a good way.

Crap, Kakashi thinks to himself. Crap crap crap. His pants are far tighter than they should be.

"Almost done," you say quietly and your voice is so close that Kakashi does actually shiver. He tries to cover it with an awkward cough but he's sure you notice anyway. Hopefully, you just mistake it for a wince of pain.

"It won't even leave a scar," you mumble out, sounding pleased with yourself. Playfully, you poke at his other shoulder. "No imperfections on your rock hard muscles, Lightening Boy."

Kakashi gulps. He's really hoping you're not able to see the his other facet which is currently rock hard.

"At least we got the mission done," you continue on cheerfully. "Hey, maybe we can even stop by the hot springs on our way back. Like a reward. What d'you-?"

But Kakashi is busy having war flashbacks to the last time he went to the hot springs, and he can only shake his head with a terrified grunt.

You give him a curious look and finally, finally, take your hands off him. He twists his head to look at you as you sit back on your haunches.

"What's wrong?" you ask with furrowed eyebrows.

Kakashi falters. "O-oh, nothing's wrong," he starts, thankfully regaining some of his cognitive ability. "I just… well there's a new Icha Icha book coming out and I was planning to bug Jiraiya about it a little -"

Not exactly a total lie but the book is only coming out next month and Kakashi wasn't planning to bug anyone about anything. Thankfully, you seem to buy it anyway because you give him a very flat look.

"I seriously don't understand what you see in those books," you tell him, disappointed. "Jiraiya-sensei has only ever written one quality piece of literature and that was the book my dad named Naruto after. All the other stuff can be put in a bonfire and burned."

In Kakashi's personal opinion, he's starting to think you're right. The only explanation he can muster up for his sudden, and incredibly embarrassing, reactions to your person is that those books have messed up his libido somehow.

"Tell you what," he says as he reaches for his shirt, finally able to put it back on and hide his overly sensitive skin from your magic fingers again. "I'll let you burn them all as soon as we get home. And you can make Jiraiya watch."

The smile you give him is almost enough to get him hard all over again.

Kakashi doesn't let you burn the books.

After the long journey back to Konoha, on which he manages to regain his dignity, he come to the realisation that he was probably out of his mind when he told you such a thing. Hormones and whatnot. There's no way the books are having such an effect on him and so there's no way he'll allow you to get rid of them

Especially not so, right when it's time for his tradition of rereading the entire series to prepare for a new release.

Thankfully, you seem to forget about what he'd told you upon your arrival back to Konohagakure, with your mind already turned to yet another new task that has arisen. One which has Kakashi significantly intrigued as well.

As it would seem, during his sensei's absence from the village, Naruto had embarked on extra training with Jiraiya. Since the training period for the third stage of the Chunin exams, your little brother and the legendary sannin have become rather close. Which Kakashi was thrilled about because if he was entirely honest, Jiraiya's style of fighting was a far better fit for Naruto than his own. However, as Naruto explained very loudly and whinily once Kakashi and you saw him at Ichiraku's on the night of your return, Jiraiya had left two days previously to go do some more "stupid pervy research", and had cut the young gennin's training short.

You had always had a soft spot for Naruto, considering he is your brother - although he's not aware of that or his parentage at all - so you jump at the chance when he practically begs for more help training. And because Kakashi is his sensei, he can't say no to the request either. Thankfully, you're more than happy to take the reins on this one, which kets Kakashi off the hook and allows him to find a nice comfortable patch if grass to sprawl across and read his book while you oversee Naruto's workout.

He's still working on chakra control, Kakashi notes, although it's more advanced than the exercise with the tree that he'd taught to Team 7 some time ago. Using chakra in the base if the feet to walk in the surface if water as jf jt was solid ground - evidently something Naruto had been working on during his month of training with Jiraiya, however, he obviously hasn't mastered it in full just yet. The walking part maybe, but now as the pair of your stand atop the surface of a slow moving stream and prepare to spar each other, Kakashi notices that Naruto is still distinctly wobbly on his feet.

You stand opposite the little blonde boy, with your hands on your hips and a smirk on your face. Your eyes are bright with excitement, though your gaze remains keen and sharp, and that's all Kakashi can really say because he's trying very very hard to look only at your face and nothing else

See, the issue is, with the both of you working on, and in Naruto's case in, the water, you'd had the foresight to suggest training in bathing suits. Which made a lot of sense and was a very smart idea. Only now it means Kakashi is once again subjected to the sight of your almost naked figure, even less covered this time round and demonstrating the full glory of what it means to be a highly skilled jounin.

You're also dropping wet, something Kakashi has already established to be a weakness of his.

"Alright, Naruto," you say brightly, pointing a finger at the short boy. "Come at me with everything you've got."

Naruto wobbles a little bit, and then grins. "Gotcha, scary lady. Here I goooo!" He puts his hands together to make the hand sign for the shadow clone jutsu and promptly falls right through the surface of the water. Your throw you head back and laugh loudly as he splutters.

Kakashi would laugh too if he wasn't so busy noticing the line of you neck. When he realises what's he's doing, he's almost tempted to hit himself in the face with his Icha Icha novel.

Stop it, there is a child present!

"You've gotta stay focused," you say to Naruto once he's clambered back up to stand on top of the river again.

"But I was focussing!" he complains. You shake your head at him.

"You've gotta be able to focus on two different chakra controls at once if you want to do any ninjustu while standing in the water. But the shadow clone jutsu is even more difficult because you're splitting your chakra."

When Naruto looks confused, you sigh. "Here, I'll demonstrate."

Then you form your own hand sign and immediately, several shadow clones appear on the surface of the water around you, all perfectly balance, all staring at Naruto expectantly.

And all, to poor Kakashi's unfortunate horror, wearing the same sexy white bikini that you've got on.

His vision is suddenly overwhelmed with the sight of your dewy, wet skin and damp hair, visible to him now from all angles. Your shadows clones are all perfectly replicas of you, down the the freckles on your skin and Kakashi… oh, Kakashi feels like he's drowning, just a little bit.

Has her spine always curved like that? he thinks to himself wildly as he watches the line of jt bend as you explain something to Naruto. Another one of your clones flickers hair from her shoulder and he's subject to the way the muscles in your shoulder blade move with your arm. Is her skin always that smooth looking?

I'd like to touch it.

Kakashi's eyes widen and he does smack himself in the face with his book then. No! He yells at himself. Don't think like that. She's an old friend and she doesn't see you that way, so don't be a creep!

Still, he can't drag his eyes away as you let your clones dissolve and then start to fight with Naruto head in, no ninjistu this time, just taijutsu. The way your muscles ripple under your skin with each movement, the flow there is to your body, the fluidity that comes with fighting - all things Kakashi had always admired about you but now they're amplified by how little clothing you're wearing. He can see exactly what movements you're making now, can see the power behind each kick or punch with the way your joints flex and your muscles bunch and release. And unfortunately because he's a sick, sick man, Kakashi's mind take those images and applies them to different scenarios.

How your body would move as you writh under him. How your muscles would tense as he teased you within inches of an orgasm. How you'd throw your head back and he'd get to kiss down the line of your neck as you came.

I want to die, Kakashi thinks dejectedly to himself as he forces his eyes back to the page of the book in front of him. I deserve to die.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei! Watch this!"

Kakashi can't ignore the joyful yell of his student and he's forced to raise his head once more. "Yes, Naruto?" he asks, forcing his voice to remain flat. Naruto waves wildly at him.

"Watch me win this fight!"

Kakashi can't help but glance at you, and he notices the glint in your eye immediately. Naruto might be your little brother, and this training might be about helping him improve, but there's no way you're going easy on him. You're gonna fight him with your full force, and Kakashi can see it written all over your face. And, quite frankly, it turns him on even more.

Kakashi gulps.

Naruto attacks first with a yell, almost instinctively making the hindsight for the shadow clone jutsu. He only makes one other clone this time and manages to do it too, which makes Kakashi smile just a bit behind his mask.

Both Narutos attack you in full force, with the clone remaining at your front, while the real Naruto leaps round to stand at your back. It's a good strategy, Kakashi can admit, however, he sees the flaws in it immediately.

As do you, it would seem, when you spin and grab the real Naruto as he leaps at you, only to hurls him over your shoulder at the clone. The clone disappears with a pop and Naruto splashes down into the river water. He sinks for a moment before coughing and splashing as he tries to pull himself up.

You stand over him, confident but not smug about your victory, and even now Kakashi can see the pride in your eyes. Just the fact that Naruto had been able to create a shadow clone with enough control so they both remained atop the water was a huge step. Enough, almost, for kakashi to forget the stirring in his crotch.

However, it would seem that you're determined to make life difficult for him because you turn to look at him them. Not just your head but most of your body as wall. And Kakashi gets a full dose of the way you look right now; dripping hair, sun-warmed skin, the spark in your eye that appears whenever you're fighting, and just the hint of a smile in the curve of your lips.

Immediately, it all comes rushing back to Kakashi and he's suddenly very very glad for his mask. His face is bright pink.

"He's doing well, huh?" You say to Kakashi in a voice that's just quiet enough that Naruto, who's still in the river, won't hear over the sound of his own struggling.

"Oh." Kakashi coughs and makes sure to set his book doen on his lap in a way that will conceal… things. "Yes, well, you're a good teacher, it would seem."

Your smile widens just a little but you shake your head. "So are you. You taught him chakra control, didn't you?"

"Maa, it was more like a forced him to learn it," Kakashi admits, tilting his head to the side just a bit. "He did it by himself, mostly."

That does make you smile and you turn your head to look at Naruto once more. He's managed to climb out the water by now and is crouching on its surface, shaking himself like a dog.

"He's pretty amazing," you say softly as you watch him, pride and pain in your eyes. "I just wish…"

Kakashi knows what you're thinking. He wishes the same thing, sometimes multiple times a day. That his sensei could see Naruto now, that Kushjna could see him.

What he's sure you don't realise is that Kakashi wishes the same with for you too. He looks away from Naruto and back to you, his gaze sliding over you. He can't help but remember the little girl who'd refused to let go of his sleeve in the days following the Nine Tails attack, the way you hadn't been able to even look at Naruto for so long, how you'd worn your ANBU mask everywhere for years just so people would stop looking at you. You've grown up so much since then, since that day you'd seen Naruto sitting alone on his swing and decided to change something. Kakashi is sure Minato-sensei would have been just as proud of you.

"You're amazing," he can't help but mumble under his breath as he stares at you. "Really amazing. I wish I could say it to you properly."

Naruto is ready to attack again by this time, and he wastes not even a second before he's leaping back at you. Kakashi catches the giggle of joy you let out as you jump right back into the fight along with the younger boy and it makes him smile. He watches as Naruto tries to kick you and you don't even need to see it to block it, as you aim a small wind-style attack which sends him tumbling back, as he doesn't sink into the water like he usually does and instead kneels atop it, coughing.

Minato-sensei , Kakashi thinks to himself as he watches the pair of you, just a little wistfully. I wish you were here to see this.

Minato-sensei, I'm so glad you're not here to see this.

Kakashi… honestly doesn't know how he keeps ending up in these situations.

He's thought, when the assignment was first given, that there wouldn't be much room for him to mess things up. Technically, as Danzo Shimura had so graciously pointed out as he handed the paperwork over to Kakashi, this task was one for the ANBU. Top secret, stealth oriented, the kind that no one should be able to trace back to Konohagakure. Nothing nefarious of course - Tsunade would rather lay down and die than allow her shinobi to collaborate in any of the borderline heinous things Root got up to. No, it was just an intel gathering assignment, just turned up to a level of difficultly that would have even the most experienced shinobi sweating through their vests.

It should be ANBU members taking it. But Konoha seems perpetually short-staffed these days and even the ANBU are running low on available shinobi - at least, shinobi of the calibre required to take on a mission.

You and Kakashi are assigned because you're ex-ANBU. And Tenzo is told to accompany you as well. So you'd all left Konohagakure together, ready to trek out towards some nameless city run by organised crime to snoop around.

You'd left together. But you're not that way anymore. If Kakashi remembers correctly, the three of you had been separated on the third day after which you'd arrived at the town, and he hasn't seen you or Tenzo since.

So much for simple, right?

Kakashi doesn't mind working alone. In his personal opinion, that's actually when he does some of his best work. What he does mind is having absolutely no clue where his teammates are, if they're safe or even if they're alive.

He minds it mostly because he hates the stress. But also because it means he has to sneak around looking for them in places he'd much rather not be.

Hence… well, this.

Kakashi had slipped his way into one of the houses belonging to the leader of the crime syndicate in search of… something. Anything. Supposedly the house had been quiet, which should have left Kakashi plenty of room to scurry around in there completely undisturbed.

Only, things never went according to plan, and as it turned out, the house was not quiet. Kakashi had been sneaking down one hallway when he'd heard the loud booming voice of none other than the owner of the house. In panic, he'd slipped into the nearest room - which happened to be a bedroom - and rolled under the large, raised bed in search of cover.

Only to come face to face with you. Of all the people.

Once again, Kakashi sends a prayer up to all the gods he can think of, thanking them that his sensei isn't around to witness this.

He's got you pinned. You, with your back to the wooden floor, your arms pressed to your sides and your eyes wide, him, somehow, above you, balancing on his forearms and knees, keeping his distance as best as he can.

Which isn't very applaudable, considering how little room there is beneath the bed and the face that his chest, stomach and pelvis are pressed flush against yours. Really, he'd only need to relax the muscles in his neck by a fraction for his head to drop and then he'd be kissing you just like that.

I'm sorry, Kakashi tries to plead as best he can with the one eye you can see. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. He would sign it but he can't move his arms at all.

You just blink back, slowly and animatedly, as if you're still trying to process what's going on. Then you shift one shoulder as best you can, in a gesture that Kakashi hopes to mean 'It's okay.'

It's not okay. Definitely not. With the both of you only dressed in thin, black, stealth suits, Kakashi can feel just about everything. The entire front of his body is pressed flat against yours and every single nerve is firing faster than he can process. Gods, he can feel your heartbeat. Not to mention the front curves of your hips, the softness of your stomach and your… your…

Your breasts are squashed right up into his pecs and Kakashi can't breathe.

He also doesn't have time to focus on the fact that he can't breathe either, because right then the door of the bedroom you're both cowering in is thrown open and heavy footsteps stomp their way in. Kakashi almost wants to squeeze his eyes shut in anticipation.

There's a thump. The mattress creaks above the both of you. And then there's so much pressure on Kakashi's back that he can't help it - he's forced down further, practically into you, until his head is buried in your shoulder and his pelvis is crushing yours.

Something twitches in his pants as he feels you move just a little beneath him, your body rubbing against his own.

No! Kakashi thinks desperately, actually squeezing his eyes shut this time. The warmth of your body is so overwhelming it's also making him light headed, but he has the presence of mind to start hating himself all over again. No No No No nononononononoooooooo! Not now!

Yes now, his cock tells him though because fuck, you feel…

You're shifting again, obviously trying to get more comfortable, but in doing so, you're unknowingly grinding on Kakashi. And it has him pratically shaking because not only is he hard but now you're touching it.

Oh gods.

Kakashi's jaw clenches and he does his best to shift himself away from you. At least, he does the most he possible can without alerting whoever has decided to flop down on the bed above the both of you. Only it does fuck all and he's in just as much of a predicament as before.

He feels a tight grasp on his sleeve just then, sudden and warning. It makes his pause and he turns his head just a little to try and see your face. Only you're already looking, your head turned just a little. Your eyes are wide, almost threatening and Kakashi understands immediately - stop moving.

I would, Kakashi thinks desperately. I really would. But if I do, you'll feel it! And then you'll hate me forever!

He can't exactly tell you these things though, so he has to follow your instruction. And oh crap , is it so much worse.

His hard on is pressed right up against your thigh. And he knows you feel it because he can feel your leg twitch just slightly when it brushes against the rod in his pants.

She's gonna hate me she's gonna hate me shesgonnahateme- huh?

Oh-

You've tilted your hips, just the tiniest bit. It's definitely unintentional but it's enough to grind along Kakashi's erection, just enough.

Kakashi chokes on the moan that bubbles in his throat and he has to sink his teeth so deep into his bottom lip to muffle it that he's sure blood is drawn.

Stop! Stop moving stop stop stop stop stop stop stopstopstopstop!!!!!

There's another creak from above, as the guy occupying the bed shifts again. Thankfully, it makes you freeze up and Kakashi is granted some small reprieve. And then, thank the gods, the man on the bed lets out a low groan and then rolls back onto his feet, climbing off the mattress and lifting his weight up off the both of you once more.

Kakashi can't help it - he all but jumps away from you as fast as he can possibly move. It's not much but it's just enough that he might be able to pass off the bulge in his pants as a ninja tool - if by some miracle, you haven't noticed already. He almost doesn't care about getting caught anymore. He figures whatever the gang of rogue ninja have in store for him would be far less excruciating than this. Only you grab him once more, by the sleeve, and forcibly hold him still above you until the bastard from the bed has moved out the door.

Kakashi works up enough courage to look down at you then; just a split second glance to try and gauge your level of disgusting. Only, when he sees your face, he almost freezes up once more.

That look… it's almost knowing.

A thought strikes him like lightening then, and even once you determine that it's safe once more and drag both him and yourself out from under the bed, it remains bouncing around his little brain. He can't ignore it, in fact he keeps dwelling on it, until long after you've scrambled back to the rendezvous point and met up with Tenzo once more. It makes him thank back to all the times before now - the onsen, the mission he'd had with you, training with Naruto, all of it - and wonder…

Have you been doing this on purpose?

You're definitely doing this on purpose.

Kakashi has been suspicious of you since this morning, when, completely out of the blue, you'd hijacked his solo training by throwing a kunai at his head, and then pestered him so much that he agreed to attend Asuma's birthday party.

For the record, Kakashi had not been planning to go. He'd been planning to sit alone in his flat and read his books for the evening because he doesn't enjoy parties.

Maybe he should feel bad since it's the birthday of a friend of his. Technically, Asuma isn't the the one throwing it - that's all thanks to Kurenai - but everyone will be there to celebrate him and his old age. Granted, it's a nice gesture. But Kakashi doesn't enjoy parties. Not in the slightest.

There's always loud music he doesn't like, busy people he doesn't like, and horrific dancing he doesn't like. Not to mention the sake. Genuinely, he's a little scared about how much might be consumed at an event such as this.

That was why he'd been planning on dropping a birthday gift off at Asuma's this evening and slipping away all sneaky-like to go read his shameless smut in peace.

But now you've ruined that.

I really should learn how to say no, is what Kakashi thinks as he drags his feet down the street in the direction of the izakaya where the party is being held. Especially to her.

It really js a bit pathetic, how soft he's become. But Kakashi is also starting to suspect that you have at least some idea of what you do to him. Today especially, with the way you're fluttered your eyelashes and blinked at him innocently through your hair as you pleaded with him to attend the party, he couldn't ignore it. You've always been absolutely meticulous about every single thing you do with your body, down to the way your eyes move - it's something that you're forced to learn when you join the ANBU so young. There's no way it wasn't purposeful.

Quite frankly, Kakashi is a little miffed that you've decided to exploit his uncontrollable attraction to you for your own personal agenda.

“Ka-kashi! I see you’ve finally made an appearance!’

Kakashi almost jumps at the sound of the booming voice that comes out of nowhere. Then he lets out a heavy sigh and tuns his head to the side to find the source of the yell.

“What are you doing, Guy?”

Might Guy gives Kakashi a very sad look from where he’s hanging upside down from the branch of a tree that hangs over the street.

“What else but revelling in the springtime of my youth, of course!” he says enthusiastically. Then he starts doing sits up, using only his core muscles to hoist his upper body up to the tree branch and back again. "I thought I'd get my blood pumping before the joyous celebrations this evening."

Kakashi blinks slowly. "So, you're going too, huh?"

Guy smiles brightly. Then he unhooks his leg from the tree and flips to land lightly in the pathway beside Kakashi. "Of course!" He says, throwing a fist in the air. "A whole night for all of us to let loose and experience our youth to the fullest! Who wouldn't enjoy such a thing?"

Kakashi resists the urge to say 'me' outloud and just buries his hands deeper into his pockets. Then he starts walking again, not bothering to wait for Guy.

“To be honest,” Guy starts, jogging a few steps to catch up. “I didn’t expect to see you here, dear rival. I was under the impression you don’t enjoy these things.”

Kakashi blows a sigh out of the side of his mouth and rolls one shoulder nonchalantly. “I don’t like them.”

“And yet here you are,” Guy says, grinning at him mischievously.

Kakashi is quiet for a moment. Then he grumbles out, “I got coerced.”

“Ho!” Guy looks positively delighted by the news, his smile spreading out even further and his dark eyes sparkling. However, when Kakashi turns his own head just slightly to give his rival a questioning look from behind his bangs, Guy keeps his mouth suspiciously closed. He only winks at Kakashi before skipping on ahead, leaving Kakashi himself to stare after him blankly.

It feels like I’ve been left out of a joke.

Unfortunately, there isn’t much time to dwell on the odd behaviour of seemingly all his friends because, upon turning a last corner onto a new, smaller street, Kakashi has reached the small izakaya where the party is being held. He can already hear the loud voices of all his fellow shinobi spilling out on the street, as well as a cacophony of music being played. He only has a moment to steel himself as he watches Guy duck in through the entrance before he has to follow on. And as soon as he steps inside, he immediately regrets every decision he’s made today.

The thing has only just started and already, it's spun off the wall. From where Kakashi stands just in the doorway, he can see at least three people with bright red, alcohol flushed faces, another four people passed out and one very drunk Iruka standing up on a table top, in the midst of doing a dance move that Kakashi hopes to the gods Iruka will forget once he's sober, for his own personal dignity's sake.

Shit, Kakashi thinks wildly as he stands frozen in the doorway. Maybe I'll just turn around and leave-

Only he can't because suddenly he hears a yell of his name.

A yell of his name in a voice that makes his heart melt.

You come stumbling over to him, a dish of sake balanced in your fingers and a loose smile already on your face. The way you move is wobbly, far less precise than it might be usually, and with your hair pulled away from your face, he can see the clear look of distortion in your eyes. You’re drunk.

Not only that but you’re wearing… oh gods. Kakashi’s jaw clenches behind his mask.

It's not even like the outfit you’ve got on is particularly flashy or revealing. It’s just not your usual flax jounin vest and dark pants. Not even your hitai-ate is in it’s usual spot around your neck. You look so… Kakashi almost wants to say human. Like if he imagines hard enough, you just might not be a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf. No, you might just be a normal girl.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Kakashi wonders what a world where that was true might be like.

“Ka-kashi!” you say again, your voice wavering just a little with a small hiccup. You take another step in his direction and then trip - how, he really doesn’t know because there's nothing in front of you but air - and he has to duck a little to stabalise you with an arm around your waist. You blink for a second, as if you’re confused about what just happened, and then you turn your face up to look at him. Your smile is breath-taking.

“Kakashi!”

Kakashi feels his cheeks turn a little pink. You’re so close and he can smell your shampoo. “Hello,” he says back softly, setting you properly on your feet once more so he can let go of you.

“You came!’

“I said I would, didn’t I?” Kakashi mumbles quietly. Your smile only grows more beautiful.

“Still, I thought you’d duck out on me! But you didn’t! Thanks, Kashi.”

And then you lean up and press your lips to his masked-up cheek. Kakashi’s brain short circuits just a little.

You haven’t called him ‘Kashi’ in years. Not since before the both of you were in ANBU, and he was still Minato-sensei’s student. Even now, he still remembers how things were back then, when you seemed so much smaller and younger than him, when you’d hide behind a tree and watch him as he trained until he finally gave up pretending not to notice you and called you over. And then he’d help you train, teaching you advanced jutsu despite the fact that you were still only in the Academy. And ever time, like clockwork, once the sun had started to set and the both of you would hear your mother hollering your name, you’d give him a small, shy smile, and kiss his cheek sweetly, and say “Thanks, Kashi,” in the most adorable voice he’d ever heard.

Kakashi was still a child back then, but he’d had a feeling, even at that young age, that those moments were special. Though he didn’t fully realise it until right now, when you do the exact same thing as an adult and it just about makes his poor little heart explode.

Thank the gods you don’t seem to notice any of what’s going on in Kakashi’s brain right now, because you just raise the dish of sake you have in your hand up towards him and keep smiling.

“Drink,” you tell him sweetly. “Let loose.”

And because Kakashi is an absolutely sucker for your puppy eyes, he does as he’s told. He tips his head forward just a little, maybe to try and hide from anyone but you, and then he hooks a finger in his mask and drags it down. You put the dish to his lips without question, your eyes warm and soft, and feed him the sake with an elegance he’s sure no one else could pull off. Then, once the dish is entirely empty, you let him tug his mask back up over his noise with a satisfied look on your face.

“You’re gonna have fun tonight,” you tell him, poking his shoulder with your free hand. And Kakashi can’t find a single word to disagree with you - he simply offers you a smile from behind his mask and finally lets his walls crack a little.

“Okay,” he tells you softly, and lets you take his elbow and guide him further into the party. “Fine.”

The little voice in his head hums. What’s the worst that can happen?

This is the worst that could ever happen.

Kakashi is honestly starting to think that he’s been cursed. Maybe someone has cast a jutsu on him, dooming him to a lifetime of unwanted boners. Or maybe he’s under a genjutsu, from someone determined to ruin his mental stability and self-confidence.

Either way, he wants to die just a bit right now. And it’s all your fault.

It’s been a couple of hours since he arrived and Asuma’s birthday celebrations have become all the more rowdy. It’s not just Iruka dancing on the table top anymore; Guy and Kotatsu have joined him. And despite the fact that Kakashi has consumed far more sake than he should have by now, the situation isn’t getting any less fun.

You’d disappeared for a while after dragging him into the fray to socialise. He hasn’t minded too much; actually, he was almost glad because it gave him a concrete reason to pull his eyes away from the bare skin of your neck. And for a short time, he’d just relaxed - as much as he possibly could - and drank sake and chatted with the limited few people he called his friends.

Only now, you’ve reappeared again. Kakashi can see you as you weave your way through the crowd. You’re still a little wobbly on your feet but there's a look in yours eyes that Kakashi recognises. It’s sharp, intent, backed with purpose and resolve. And Kakashi gets the strangest feeling it’s focussed on him.

He might cower away if he didn’t know you any better. Might shrink back in fear of those eyes you’ve fixed him with. Maybe that’d actually be the smarter option. But Kakashi’s lifestyle has turned him into somewhat of a sick and twisted person, so when he sees the expression on your face, which he knows means certain doom for him and his fragile masculine ego, he stands his ground. He even looks forward to it, just a little.

Is he a masochist? Kakashi’s isn’t sure. He is pretty sure that you're a sadist though, at least a little bit.

“Kakashi,” you say once you're a couple of feet away from him and still approaching. He raises one eyebrow at you, not quite able to form any words. For just the briefest moment, your expression flickers, a flash of something like guilt passing through it. “I’m sorry for this.”

Kakashi blinks slowly. “Wha-?” he starts to ask but the question just up and dies before it can reach completion when, very suddenly, you reach for him. Your hands go to his shoulders and then slide up behind his head, until your fingers have curled into his thick hair. And Kakashi can only let out a muffle and surprised yelp before you tug his head down towards you and -

And…

For the first time in his life, Kakashi wishes he wasn’t wearing his mask. Because then he might be able to feel the way your lips are slanting over his just that much more.

You're kissing him. Totally out of the blue. Why, or really even how, Kakashi doesn’t know. His head is spinning and he can’t quite get his lungs to work properly because you're so close that he can smell your shampoo and your perfume and he can see that way your eyelashes curl against your cheeks as your eyelids flitter and he can feel the pressure of your mouth against the fabric of his mask and you're so warm and softandholyshityou’rekissinghim-?!

And then you're not. You pull away from him just as abruptly as you’d approached, and let your hands slide back to your sides. You turn to look over your shoulder at something behind you but Kakashi can’t even follow your gaze to see what it is. He’s too busy staring at you, at your face, at your cheeks and your lips, which were just on his. Your lips where just on his.

Well, technically, they were on his mask. But that's the only kind of kiss he’s ever experienced, so he's going to let it slide.

You keep looking at what ever is behind you for a while before finally, you turn back around to face Kakashi. And then you offer him the most breath-takingly flustered smile he thinks he's ever seen.

“I’m sorry about that,” you mumble, rubbing at the back of your neck awkwardly. You’re avoiding his gaze, like your embarrassed, but there's still something glinting in your eyes - something Kakashi doesn't quite understand. It makes him shiver in his clothes and need to strategically adjust the way he’s standing. “I… well, there was someone here who was kind of giving me a hard time so I needed to prove a point.”

Immediately, Kakashi is on alert. “They were giving you a hard time?” he asks and his voice comes out much colder, a ghostly reminder of the killer that will forever remain dormant deep within him. You seem to pick up on it too, because your eyes widen a little and you shake your head quickly.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” you tell him assuredly. “It was just a guy who I kind of had… sort of… a thing with a while back. He wanted me to go home with him and wouldn’t leave me alone until I said I had a boyfriend. And then he didn’t even believe me. So, I… well I roped you into it.” You look at the floor once more. “I’m sorry.”

Kakashi almost doesn’t hear your apology with how hard his blood is pumping in his ears. Any and all hostility has faded from his system as quickly as it had appeared and now he’s just dumbstruck… and a little touched. He had been the person you’d picked as your pretend boyfriend? Him? Kakashi Hatake?

“Can’t say I’m not flattered,” he says, almost a little shy. “And don’t worry, if it helped you then it's fine. Is he gone?”

You look back over your shoulder. Then you shake your head. “He’s still there, hanging around in that corner.” You look back at Kakashi. “But I’m not gonna bother with him anyone. I’d much rather stay here with you.”

“You would?” Kakashi asks mildly, physically restraining his body from shaking as his mind screams out in tandem with his words; you would???? Me?????

You give him a happy nod.

“Uh huh. Always.”

Kakashi thinks he dies a little on the inside.

“W-well, as long as I’m not too boring for you.”

“You're not, don’t worry,” you tell him cheerily. Then you send him a wink that almost knocks out his knees completely. “Although, if I have anything more to drink, you might need to walk me home.”

Kakashi answers without thinking. “I’ll be walking you home anyway.”

“Wha-?” You blink, surprised, before your mouth curves up into a hopefully smile. “Really? You will?”

Kakashi shrugs, trying his best to be nonchalant. It’s not like he’s never walked you home before. But he’s never done it with you considerably drunk and him sporting a very difficult-to-ignore hard on. “Of course,” he tells you. “Minato-sensei would have my head if I didn’t and you know it.”

You turn, putting your back to the room but keeping your eyes on him as you lean just a little forward on the bar. Something flashes through your expression and then your smile turns from sweet to downright wily. A shiver runs up Kakashi’s spine once again and he has to cough and adjust his position once more.

You lean in a little, your eyelids fluttering low. “Yah know, Kashi,” you tell him in a voice he knows only he will ever hear. “I’m pretty sure there's a lot of things my dad would have your head for nowadays."

Then you leans back away from him and turn to look towards the bartender to order another drink, leaving Kakashi to stand and stare mildly into space as his head spins.

There's only one thought bouncing around his small brain - she knows.

She knows. She knows she knows she knows she knowsheknowsheknowsheknows-

You know.

You have known for a while actually.

Kakashi Hatake is a great shinobi. One of the best of his generation, a prodigy right from the moment he even knew what it meant to be a shinobi. The infamous copy ninja of the Leaf, disciple of the Yellow Flash and sensei of the last Uchiha. Master of a thousand jutsu and your friend since childhood.

He can see so many things with his sharingan. And yet he's so blind when it comes to himself.

Kakashi Hatake is exceedingly obvious. And you've been messing with him for months.

It started our as an honest mistake. That time when you'd walked into the mixed onsen, your face warm and your heart still racing from the near death experience you'd had between Anko's breasts, the absolute last thing on your mind was toying with your old friend. You truly hadn't realised he was there, not until you'd stepped into the bathing area and spotted him.

You had wanted to turn around and leave as soon as you realised the bath wasn't empty. But that would have been very rude because, unfortunately for you, Kakashi saw you at the same moment you saw him.

Looking back now, though, you're glad you hadn’t up and left. Because the last few months have been oh so entertaining for you personally.

Kakashi is down bad. And you know all about it.

Of course, that's not to say it isn’t mutual. You would never, not ever , dream of acting like this if you didn’t like him back. That’d be cruel and selfish, both of which you can be but none of which you have a capacity for when it comes to Kakashi. What you are is sick and tired of waiting.

Kakashi is your first and only love. And you are his. You’ve been aware of both of these facts for years at this point, since before your parents were both killed protecting your little brother. It’d actually been on that very night - one of the only nights you and Kakashi had off from ANBU duty in weeks, during which you’d chosen to get ramen together - that you’d realised your true feelings. Unfortunately for both of you, the timing had been absolutely awful.

It’d taken you years to pull yourself out of the pit you’d fallen into after the night of the Nine Tails attack and the deaths of your parents. And then it had taken you even longer to extract yourself from the webs of darkness which had grown around you during your time as a Root Member. But you’d done it eventually, and found Kakashi waiting for you at the other end, finally able to accept you as a close companion once more.

So while, yes, Kakashi may get off on the technically of the fact that the both of you were living through a waking hell for a number of years in your recent past, this has still very much been a long time coming. A long, long time.

You plan hadn’t fully formed until you’d done a joined mission with him to the Land of Iron, a few weeks after the first seed of the idea was planted in your brain. It was on that mission that you’d been able to iron out the finer details in your mind and set up a concrete goal for yourself.

Kakashi in infamous around the village, and even throughout the shinobi world, for having a resolve as strong as steel. And you were going to see how far that resolve was able to bend until it eventually snapped.

To Kakashi’s credit, he’s done well. Very well. You’d honestly thought that stunt you pulled during the mission with him and Tenzo would have been enough to break him. But he’d held out and even now, a week after you full on kissed him at Asuma’s surprise parry, he still has yet to burst his way through the front door of your flat and take you against a wall.

He wants to though. Oh, gods, he wants to. You can see it in his face every time the pair of you make eye contact.

Your patience is starting to run thin now. It’s been fun but you can only do so much when you admit that, despite how entertaining it is to tease Kakashi over his crush, you’re harbouring the very same feelings towards him. And your limits are being tested .

One more try, is what you eventually decide one evening, when all your other attempts have failed and you’re left alone to sit on the roof of your apartment and stare dejectedly at the night sky. You’ll give it one more try.

And then what? A small voice in the back of your head mumbles. You’ll give up?

The thought makes you frown just a bit.

You suppose you'd like it to go away. But it's difficult to banish anything from your brain right now. Where you are, lying on the roof of your apartment, faced with nothing but the darkness of the night sky and the few stars visible between the clouds that hang low - it doesn't provide an ample number of distractions. You try to find something new to focus on, which may prevent the sudden deep sadness tugging at your gut. But nothing comes. You can only stare up to the stars and think over and over again about how this whole situation may end with you all alone once more.

Your skin is cold against the night air, so you feel it even more when an uncomfortable flush runs through your cheeks. There's a stinging in your eyes too, though it doesn't take much for you to push the feeling down - years of training, years of detachment, it's all enabled your ability to banish the emotions that well to the surface.

The thoughts that cause those emotions stay though. Those are a hit more difficult to get rid of.

Frustrated, you close your eyes and attempt to try silence your mind. You let your body go slack and then stretch out your senses one by one; hearing, smell, taste, touch, and finally the sixth sense that every shinobi holds. You're not a sensory type so you can't distinguish specific chakra signatures throughout the village. But like even shinobi village, Konoha holds a constant pool of chakra within its walls, the product of so many living in tandem with one another. It's almost as if the village had its own chakra signature and as you rest against the slates of the rooftop, you allow your body to melt into it, letting the chakra gently encase you like the soothing presence of a blanket. It calms you and reminds you of home; not just your physical home in Konohagakure but the home you'd had years ago, with your two parents and the prospect of a little brother.

"You should really be asleep, you know."

You open your eyes at the sound of the new voice and tilt your chin up just slightly to look at the figure that has appeared. Kakashi is standing a little ways up the roof from you, his posture causal but his eyes curious. He tilts his head a little when he sees you looking.

You almost snort. How is it that this man has an uncanny ability to appear whenever he's being thought of?

"Probably," you say to him in reply, looking up at the sky again. "But I couldn't."

"Oh?"

"Too much on my mind," you say quietly. Kakashi hums in understanding. Then you hear the clicks of his shoes against the slats of the roof - clicks he allows you to hear because you know he can move without a single sound if he wants to. - as he steps closer towards you.

"Are you thinking about Naruto?"

You were. That's what had brought you out here in the first place. But since then, your mind has drifted to over things. You only offer Kakashi a hum and a vague shrug in answer.

"That makes sense," Kakashi continues as he comes to a stop beside you. He remains standing but looks up at the sky too, mimicking you. "He'll be leaving with Jiraiya soon, no doubt."

"Yeah," you mumble back. You think Kakashi might glance down at you in question.

"Do you not want him to go?"

The question makes your nose wrinkle. "No… I think training with that sage pervert will do him the world of good. It's more like… well, if feels like I've only really just got him back and now he's leaving…"

"You're going to miss him," Kakashi concludes simply and you can only sigh.

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss him," you echo in a soft voice.

This time you know Kakashi looks down at you because he all but forces your gaze to meet his own when he leans forward, blocking your view of the sky. His dark eye is firm but understanding - the look of a sensei, as you've come to know it. You equal parts appreciate and hate it, since you know he picked it up from his sensei, your father.

"It's okay for you to miss him," he tells you plainly, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Even with everything that's happened. It's okay for you to care about him."

You huff and turn your head away, glaring off to your right instead. "I know that."

"I don't think you do."

He's smirking at you. Smug bastard.

⁸Stop acting like you know everything about me."

"I'm not acting," Kakashi tells you softly as, finally, he drops onto his haunches to kneel next to you. "I do know everything about you. So I can read what you're feeling, unfortunately for you."

You huff out an annoyed breath and say nothing. You know he'll elaborate without a word from you anyway.

"You haven't been in Naruto's life for a long time," Kakashi says. "You've had your own reasons for keeping your distance. But that doesn't make him any less of your brother. And he'll be gone for a long time, off to train in places that will probably be dangerous. It makes sense that you'll miss him and be worried for him."

Something in your chest sinks. He really does know everything about you.

"I haven't acted like an older sister," you mumble out, noticing the stinging feeling of guilt that bursts in your chest - the same that always comes rushes up whenever you think on this particular topic. "Since he was born, I just ignored him because I was so scared he'd remind me of my parents. I don't… I don't have the right to care about him now."

"Maa, you're such an over-thinker," Kakashi tells you, almost cheeky. You can sense the kindness in his words though, and the jest, so you can smile weakly as he chuckles slightly. "I can guarantee Naruto doesn't see it that way."

"He doesn't know the full extent of it though," you point out softly. "He only looks up to me as a jounin and a mentor. He doesn't know I'm his sister."

"Even if he did, it wouldn't make a difference," Kakashi says firmly. He drops his head and his silver hair catches the faint light of the half-moon that's appeared briefly from behind a cloud. "No matter how long it's taken or how long you've spent away, the fact that you've return to his life at all would mean something to him. So don't worry about it too much."

You drape an arm over your face, hoping to appeared nonchalant but actually trying to prevent Kakashi from picking up on any of the tells that you're holding back tears.

"Geez, you're such a teacher," you grumble at him. And he reaches over to poke you in the ribs, definitely grinning behind his mask.

"Excuse you, I am a teacher."

You stick your tongue out at him because, despite being inly a few years younger than he is, you're still not as mature. And then you shift, letting your arm flop back to your side so you can stare up at the stars again.

There's a long pause, only silence between the both of you. And suddenly you get the feeling there's something more Kakashi wants to tall you.

"Why are you here?" you ask him pointedly as you try - and fail - to focus on only his chakra signature emanating from beside you. "You should be sleeping too."

You hear Kakashi snort softly in reply "I couldn't sleep either."

"Were you up reading your dime store smut?"

You think if his full face was on display, Kakashi would have given you a very very sad look.

"It's not dime store smut, it's high art. And no, actually, I was making preparations."

"Preparations?"

"For a mission," Kakashi tells you. "Lady Fifth assigned me a new mission earlier this afternoon. A rank, singular. I'm to leave tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow morning." Something inside you - it feels like a stone- drops very suddenly. "How long will it be?"

Usually, you wouldn't think too much of it. You're a shinobi as he is and you know the risk of leaving behind the village gates. But you also know Kakashi and his skill. Usually, you don't think there will be an issue.

But an A rank mission js difficult to accomplish entirely alone, even for the great Copy Ninja of the Leaf. And he's leaving tomorrow.

Suddenly that question from earlier comes crawling back into your mind.

"At least three weeks," Kakashi tells you then, in answer to your question. "Probably longer. I've gotta travel a long way and then stick around there for a bit."

You can't help but swallow. Three weeks…

It's not the longest you've been apart from him. But for some reason, you feel that uncomfortable tug of sadness in your gut once again.

Unexpectedly, you feel a gentle hand come down to pat the top of your head.

"Aw, are you worried about me now?"

You bat the hand away, grumbling, and then sit up properly. Kakashi's gaze remains on you as you do.

"I'm not worried ," you tell him, trying your best to sound annoyed. "You think far too highly of yourself, Lightening Boy."

Kakashi snorts from behind his mask. He reaches out to poke at your cheek this time, and you whack his hand away, almost blushing now.

"Are you saying you're gonna miss me, then?"

"I'm not saying anything."

"Maa, yous so stubborn sometimes."

You roll your eyes at him and pull your legs up against your chest. You let your chin rest on your knees as you stare out for a moment, not at the sky but now over the rooftops of Konohagakure. There's a moments pause as something swells within you.

Then, without turning your head, you say very quietly, "Just… please be careful."

Kakashi keeps quiet for a moment and you wonder if maybe he's feeling awkward. Neither of you are the type to express open affection for anyone, and that's make even more prominent when it's between the pair of you. Your pasts, so much of both entangled with each other; your time in the ANBU, the period after your parents death, joining Root, and then eventually having to learn how to live again -

You understand Kakashi and you're sure he understands you too. But there's been a line that neither of you have really crossed, despite all the flirting and teasing and provocation (from your part) on the past few months.

You turn your head, almost ready to apologise to him. Only to have the wind knocked completely from your lungs when he leans in and -

He kisses you.

Finally.

It's soft, still over his mask and little more than a press of his lips to yours but the meaning behind it, that is what knocks you flat.

Heh, got him, a little voice in the back of your mind mumbles. But you don't even care. Years, it's been years in the making. And you'd really started to think he'd just leave whatever you had together go unsaid until it was too late.

You might've teared up if the pure elation sparking through your veins didn't provide an ample distraction. And when Kakashi pulls away, opens his eyes to look at you, you can only arch one eyebrow at him in a teasing response.

"Oh?"

The corner of his eyes crinkles and you know he's smiling behind his mask.

"Don't pretend you haven't been trying to mess with me for months."

You can only snort. "Trying?" you ask him as your eyebrows go up even further. "From what I remember I was succeeding in messing with you. You're quite obvious, Kakashi."

He chuckles and reaches for you, shaking his head as he pressies his fingers into that place on either side of your ribcage that he knows makes you squirm. "Um, obvious? From what I recall, you actually threw yourself at me at one point, sweetheart. I'm not sure you can get more obvious that that."

You're giggling by now, and it only gets worse when he uses his grip on you to tug you closer to him. And then you turn your head and reach for him without a millisecond of hesitation, finally able to cup his cheek with your hand and tug him down to kiss you again.

It's still over his mask and as you find yourself leaning closer, you realise you want more.

And when Kakashi pulls away from you, his arm sliding properly around your waist to hold you in a grip firm enough you know he’s not willing to let you go without a fight, you realise he does too.

“Lets go inside,” he breathes as he lets his nose brush up against yours gently. Your hands curl into the front of his black shirt, for once more obstructed by the flax vest he usually wears.

“Okay,” you mumble. Your free hand forms the seal of confrontation as you let your chakra envelop both you and Kakashi. And then you're both gone.

When you open your eyes next, you're standing in your dark apartment, Kakashi’s arms still wrapped around your waist as he leans into you. You feel him let out a soft breath before pulling back somewhat so he can look down at you.

“I don’t think i’ll ever get used to you doing that,” he mumbles softly. And you're almost ready to laugh at him, however, he surges in before you can. His lips finds yours again, and even though it’s still over the mask, you feel it immediately - everything he was holding back before, it’s here now, boiling to the surface. With the walls of your apartment shielding the both of you from the eyes of the village, you're ready to let your guard drop further. And so is he.

Your hands slide up, along the line of his neck before your fingers tangle in his thick hair, and you let him haul you in, even closer. His hand fingers the hinge of your jaw, caressing the side of your face entirely, and you think he groans into you as one of your hands grips at the muscle of his shoulder, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt.

“Kakashi,” you whisper against him. And then you pull away so you can meet his gaze once more. His gaze is dark and serious, but still so kind and full of love that your insides can’t help but do backflips. You try to face him with as much sincerity as you can.

“I want you,” you tell him simply. “Now. But also… from now on.”

You think he smiles softly. He leans his head forward and allows the cool edge of his hitai-ate to brush your forehead.

“I want you,” he echoes your words. “I have for so long.”

And you can’t help but smile back.

You've wasted so much time, you think as you stand there, just basking in his presence. So much. But, you also can’t really imagine how it could have happened any earlier.

His handgrips your waist for a moment. And then it moves, slides up your front. You tilt your chin down a little so you can watch as slowly he reaches for the zip in your flax vest. And then, when you say nothing in objection, he takes it between his fingers and gently tugs it down.

It slips down smoothly, further and further until there's nothing left and the two halves of your vest fall open. You look up at kakashi again and he looks down at you, and you think you understand what this means. You let the vest fall from your person entirely, and pull the hitai-ate from around your neck too. And then you reach up and look your fingers into the band around Kakashi’s own head. He lets you pull it up, uncovering his sharingan eye, and then off him entirely. And just like that you feel -

You feel like people, you realise slowly. Not shinobi. Just people. And maybe that's all you need to be.

After that, it’s like everything is a rush. You drag Kakashi into your bedroom with you, stumbling slightly as you kiss him hard enough to make your head spin. You drop your clothes along the way; your scandals, your packs, belt, shirt. Kakashi does the same, his things hitting the floor with soft thuds in his wake. Neither of you care about the mess when you finally reach your bedroom, and then you get to shove Kakashi down onto your bed so he’s looking up at you in awe; one black and and one red blinking through the darkness.

You watch him watch you as you strip away the rest of what you're wearing. You pull your hair from its tie and let it hang loose around your face, and then you slide your pants down your legs and kick them away. You remain in your underwear as you step forward and reach for Kakashi once more. And he leans up to you, pressing his forehead into yours as your fingers work with the few remaining clothes on his body. His trousers, kicked away somewhere into the darkness. And then his undershirt with his mask attached.

You’ve seen his face before. There aren’t many people who have and you're lucky enough to have been considered trustworthy enough by Kakashi that he’s let you peek at what's beneath his mask. But it’s only ever been fleeting glimpses, short moments when he tugs it down for whatever reason and then yanks it back up soon after. This, now, as your hands drop and you let him tug his undershirt off, is entirely different. As the shirt comes off, the mask does too - not just tugged away, but off entirely. For the very first time, he’s totally exposed to you. And once he throws the shirt to join the rest of your clothes somewhere on the floor, you realise that there isn’t an option to go back anymore. He can'y just tug the fabric back up over his nose to hide himself when he wants to - you can see him now.

It makes your heart ache as you get to look down at him, at his whole face with nothing in the way. You get to place your hands on either side of his jaw, get to watch the way his hair falls forward, no longer obstructed by his headband. This is entirely him, nothing left to be uncovered. And when you lean in, let your eyelids slip closed and press your mouth into his without his mask for the first time you get to taste him - finally.

From the moment your tongue slides against his, you know you're gone.

Kakashi lets out what almost sounds like a whimper as his hands slide up the skin of your waist, and you think he feels it too. There's a yearning for him tugging so deep in your gut that now, you can honestly not understand why it took you so long to get to this. Why you spent months messing with him, why he spent months resisting you - you don’t know. You all but melt against him, let him drag you down on top of him as he falls back on the bed until all of his front is pressed to all of yours. One of his hands curls itself into your hair, caressing your head with a finality that you know means neither of you are ever going back from this. And you can only grab at the bedsheets by his shoulder with one hand and hold his face with the other as you desperately wish to just fall into him entirely.

“Kakashi," you whine into his mouth. And he signs your name in reply, soft and sweet. It makes you squeeze your eyes shut so you don't accidentally cry, makes you moan at the feeling of his tongue lining your lips, make your hips roll so you can grind down onto him totally on instinct.

You both choke at the feeling - you're only in underwear, you remember now. You and him. And he’s hard against your thigh, and you're dripping against his. A shiver rushes up your spine.

“You're okay?” Kakashi mumbles to you then, pulling back just a little so he can look up at you with so much love in his eyes your chest feels tight. “You're okay, right?”

You nod, even though your heart is pounding and your breaths are shaky. You are okay.

“You're okay?” you ask him in response. And he nods too. A smile tugs at the corner of your lips. “Okay.”

Then you lean down to kiss him again, and this time neither of you hold back at all. You let your pelvis roll, press your lower body into his so that you can feel him, hard and hot, between your legs, even through the layers of your underwear and his. And he lets his hips thrust up, pressing closer to you, stimulating you both enough to make you moan headily into his kiss.

“Kakashi,” you mumble again and again as you feel his hand trace down your back. It tugs at the straps of your bra and you don\t hesitant to drag an arm back so you can snap the clasp open. Kakashi inhales sharply at the feeling and then lets his hand spread out across your whole back, pressing into your warm, and now entirely bare, skin. He whispers your names to you, softly, and then wraps his arms around your waist. And then, without warning, he sits up, pushing you with him.

You let him maneuver you. Let him pull back to rid you of your bra entirely. Let him bury his nose in your neck as he drags a hand down your front in exploration. You arch your back into him when he palms one of your breasts, his whole hand able to fit around it. You arch your spine and roll your hips more, breath hitching with the way his hard on presses against your clit. And all the while, Kakashi kisses up your neck, mumbling soft words into your skin.

“Thought about you,” he whispers softly. “F’so long. Wanted you f’so long.” His fingers pinch your nipple and you yip. “You're so distracting, always. Been teasing me f’months and made is so fucking difficult to be around you.”

You smile, your eyes tight shut as you let your head hang back so he has more skin to work with. Your smile only grows when he nips at your pulse point.

“Wanted you to notice me,” you whisper into the quiet air of the bedroom. “Wanted you to - see me. N-not like a sister.”

Kakashi chuckles before he runs his tongue up your jugular. It sends a shiver down your spine and you pull him closer. “I haven’t seen you like a sister since I woke up from a wet dream about you when I was thirteen,” he admits and you almost laugh. Almost, if you didn’t understand him completely.

You tilt your head down again, using the grip you have in his hair to tug him back from your neck. His sharingan gleams when he blinks up at you, memorising everything, and for a brief moment you wish you had a sharingan of your own so you could do the same. So you could burn this image of him into your mind forever.

“You're mine,” you can only tell him instead as you touch your forehead to his. “Mine.”

“Always,” is what he responds. And so you kiss him before you can get any more emotional.

The grinding goes further, your hips rocking against his and his against yours as you actively seek pleasure now. He's so hard beneath you that just like this, just dry humping, is probably enough to get you off. There's a pressure on your clit that makes you push into him further. And he can only moan in response as he twitches beneath you, hard and aching enough that you can practically feel it.

“Please,” he groans to you then, breaking your kiss to hide his face back in your neck. “Sweetheart, I… please .”

“Kakashi,” you whimper in reply as your nails scratching up his back. He just about growls into your neck in response.

Your hips turn more frantic, your clit catching on his cock over and over. You can feel him trembling beneath and it makes you moan, aloud and unabashed. You let him put his hands on your hips, gripping them so he can move you as he likes and entirely control the movement of your lower bodies. You let him trail kisses down your neck and shoulder, throw your head back to give him more room even. And then as he drops his head down further to suck one of your nipples between his lips, you can only squeal in delight as sparks shoot up and your spine and your toes curl, and you realise you’re actually about to come.

“Kakashi,” you moan as your pussy pulses in time with the sucks he gives to your nipple. “Don’t stop - don’t stop! Fuck-!”

He moans against you, not stopping in the slightest, and you think his thrusting is getting sloppy too. His fingers dig into your hips hard enough to probably leave bruises and you almost scream. You spine arches as your orgasm crashes through you so suddenly it completely knocks the wind from your lungs.

Kakashi releases your nipple with a pop and then buries his face in your chest. “Shit,” he mumbles, obviously feeling the way you shiver in his arms. “Sweetheart - baby - shit shit shit- ”

You grind down on him, even in your haze and even when it makes your entire body jump with overstimulation. And you feel as Kakashi reaches his climax too, his cock pulsing again and again enough to make you moan even harder.

You hold him close to you for a long time, refusing to let him go as you gradually drop back down to reality and he follows shortly after. And even then it takes you a while to slow your pounding heart, so you pull away just enough to drop your head and kiss him again.

He kisses back just as fervently and you know, you know, he’s not done with you. Thank the gods, is all you can think as his fingers wind into your hair. Because I’m not done with him either.

Kakashi doesn’t separate from you, even as he winds his arms securely around your waist and flips the both you. He doesn’t separate from you even as he presses you down into your own mattress and settles himself between your bent legs. It's only when you start to squirm again, desperate for him to touch you more, that he draws back. And then you see the smile on his lips and the gleam in his eye.

“Wanna taste you,” he whispers as he kisses down your jaw to the line of your neck. “Please, let me taste you.” You feel his fingers hooking into the band of your panties. You can only lift for hips a little in response and Kakashi all but moans in appreciation when he realises. He tugs your panties down and slides his own body down with them, until his broad shoulders have slipped past your hips and he's in a position where you could crush his head between your thighs if you wanted to.

You don’t want to. Although, for some reason you get the sense he probably couldn’t be at all opposed even if you did.

Kakashi presses his cheek up against the soft skin of your inner thigh for a moment as he blinks up at his, his eyes - usually so sad - now full of love. There's a moment of silence as you lift yourself up to balance on your elbows and you just look at each other, realising and appreciating.

And then Kakashi leans in, sealing his lips to your pussy and it's all you can do to let your had fall back as a sweet whine falls from your lips. You're still so, so sensitive. And Kakashi is ruthless as he licks up the entirety of you before sucking your clit between his teeth with a growl.

“Fuck,” he mumbles between obscene slurping sounds that’d make you blush like a virgin if you heard them in any other context. “Sweetheart, you're - y’taste so fucking good - baby-”

“Kashi,” you choke because gods, he’s good. His tongue circles your clit, almost demanding a he draw whines and whimpers from your lips, and you can only card your fingers through his hair hope you don’t just die before you get to come again.

Kakashi must know what you're thinking because he lets out a soft chuckle and draws back just by a few millimetres. “You're so wet,” he whispers, teasing. “Fucking dripping . This all for me?”

“F’you,” you stumble out, your toes curling when he lick a slow stripe up your cunt. “Only for you- Kakashi!”

“You're so sweet t’me,” Kakashi mumbles. He removes one hand from where he was holding your thigh and slides two long fingers into you. There's no resistance - you're soaked, and you can only bite your tongue and try not to scream as he stretches your walls so deliciously you see stars. “So fucking good. So perfect, sweetheart.” he kisses your inner thigh briefly. “Want you to come f’me, okay? Wanna see how beautiful you are when you come.”

There are actual tears beading in your eyes now, tears of both frustration and pure overstimulation. You're so close all over again but there's something else you need, something more. And Kakashi obviously knows this, with the gleam hidden in his eyes.

“Please,” you whimper as you force yourself to look down at him again. “Please, please, Kashi, make me - make me come! Want it, please, wanna come f’you.”

His fingers curl within you, again and again, making your spine arch upwards in ecstasy. He gives you a small smile, one so soft you feel like you melt a bit on the inside. Then he kisses your thigh again.

“My sweetheart,” he mumbles into your skin, his eyelashes fluttering as he closes his eyes for just a moment. “-ove you.”

Then he seals his mouth to your cunt once more, slurping at your clit while his fingers continue to thrust up inside you. Everything that's built until now suddenly snaps once more and you collapse backwards onto your bed, your entire body shaking as your orgasm crashes through you. Kakashi moans into your pussy at the feeling, mumbling praise as he uses his fingers to fuck you through it. And it's only once you've stopped clenching around him that he draws away from you. He kisses your thigh one last time before crawling back up you body. And when he raises his hand to you, you take his fingers into your mouth with greed, sucking at them with a fervour that makes him groan. They taste like you, dripping with your slick as they are, and when you eventually let them go and pull Kakashi down to kiss you, the flavour explodes over your tongue even more. It makes you moan with how fucking filthy it is, and even though you’ve already come twice, it makes you wet all over again.

“Fuck me,” you demand from Kakashi when he breaks away from you, your voice so whiny it almost most doesn’t sound like you. “Please please please, need it - need you in me, Kakashi-!”

He yanks off his own underwear without saying a word, fire sparking in his eyes. Then he leans down to press a quick kiss to your lips once again as he settles his body back over yours.

“Gorgeous,” he mumbles as you relax back with him above you, basking in the warmth he exudes. “You're so gorgeous.”

“Please,” you whisper to him. And thank the gods he obliges.

He’s so warm as he slides into you, and you're so sensitive, that you both end up mewling against each other. His hand finds yours at some point and he presses it back into the bedsheets, twisting his fingers into yours so tightly you're not sure you could let go if you tried. He uses his other arm to hold himself up so he can rest his forehead on your shoulder and watch as his cock sinks into you. And you can only cling to his back with your free hand, digging your fingernails into his skin and whimpering as he penetrates your body.

He's big enough that you need time to adjust, even after having come twice, and thankfully he gives you that. His hips still once he's bottomed out and he turns his head to press soft kisses into your temple as you whine with how full you feel. There's something more to this than just sex, you think as you scrabble at his shoulders and press the bridge of your nose into his shoulder. There's a deeper connection than just the physical. You can’t quite put it into words though, so you just kiss along his skin, hoping he feels it too.

When Kakashi eventually starts thrusting - first shallow and light and then getting deeper and harder - you can see stars popping behind your eyelids. He's always been a powerful being, from the moment you'd first met back when you were both just young children, but this is the first time you're getting to see his power outside of shinobi related activities. His muscles are rippling, his chakra energised and buzzing, and you get the feeling that he could destroy you if he wanted to.

You also get the feeling though, that he doesn’t want to. And that somehow makes your head spin even more.

You moan his name, over and over again, punctuated by small squeaks when the head of his cock nudges up against the spot inside you that drives you insane. And he replies with murmurs of your own name, mixed with praise and pleas.

“Feel so good,” he tells you softly as his hips snap into yours. You hooks your legs around his waist to pull him close. “So fucking good, sweetheart. S’warm and wet and tight round my cock, shit - feel good for me, please, baby, feel so fucking good-”

You want all of him. After years and years of pain and pining, you want every molecule of his being to saturate your own now. You don't want him to ever leave, you don’t ever want to leave him. And now there are actually tears dropping down your temples and into your hairline as you pull his lips down to yours again and kiss him with everything you have. Kakashi kisses you back, letting your tongue slide over his, tasting you, and you can feel it when he squeezes your hand reassuringly - he understands it all, he knows. His hips speed up in their rhythm as the desperation for each other kicks into both of you, and then you're moaning, you and him, as static seems to rush through your veins.

“Fuck-” you choke, gripping his hand tight enough that he'll probably have nails indents in the skin below his knuckles. “Gonna - shit - gonna come!”

“Please,” Kakashi whispers. “Please, please, please, sweetheart, come for me. Fucking - s’okay, yeah. Let go f’me.”

Your entire body seems to spasm, your legs trembling violently and your head tilting back. It rushes up through your gut and for a second you're seeing stars as the hardest orgasm you’ve ever had rips through your body. Your pussy clenches, pulsing hot and wet and you can hear Kakashi moaning through the feeling as his own hips jump. He squeeing your hand once again and then fucks you through the pleasure, his hips pounding into yours again and again and again as he chases his own high and prolongs yours. More tears roll down your face but you don't even care - you can only cling to your lover as finally, he gives one last roll of his hips and then buries himself inside you as he releases, groaning long and low in your ear.

He raises his head to kiss you after a short moment of silence then, so much softer and more gentle this time. His grip on your hand loosens but remains, and you can feel his thumb stroking along your skin comfortingly. At the same time, you wind your other hand into his hair, not pulling anymore but just stoking at his scalp. He chases your lips when you eventually pull back from him and it makes you giggle just a little. Suddenly, you feel light than air.

“I love you,” you tell him very softly as he lets his forehead rest against yours. “I love you so much.”

Kakashi blinks. Maybe he’s surprised that you've admitted it so boldly. And then he smiles.

“I love you too, sweetheart,” he says in a voice that makes sparks dance through your stomach. “I love you.”

You pull him in for another kiss and have to give yourself very strict instructions not to cry.

When he pulls away, you nudge your nose against his somewhat playfully. “So, you wanna go shower?”

Kakashi arches a silver eyebrow at you, the glint returning to his eye. “Shower? Why?”

You give him a blank look. “Because we’re both gross and sticky and I refuse to go to sleep like this.”

“Sleep?” Kakashi mumbles, the corner of his lips curling in a soft smirk. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but no one is going to sleep just yet.” He leans in to nip at your earlobe and you squeak. “You teased me for months , there's no way I’m letting you off the hook just like that. We still have five hours before I need to leave and I intend not to waste a single second.”

A shiver runs up your spine and when you meet his gaze again, you can tell that he's dead serious. Butterflies flood your stomach as the corners of your mouth twitch upwards. “Oh,” is all you can say, it it makes Kakashi chuckle deeply.

Oh shit.

Please.

#💙 blue's fics #kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake x reader #hatake kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #hatake kakashi #naruto fics #naruto

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electrasev5nwrites · 1 year ago

Text

Ninja Daily: Vapors 56

'I'm seeing two possibilities. Either this is another test to see if I unquestioningly follow orders, or it's a sign that Kakashi is going to mercilessly mock me for the rest of my life and Konoha supports his decision.'

Either way, pouting was the wrong response, so she sullenly took the proffered mask and gave a polite bow to the bulky man who'd brought her to the armory.

Granted, it was a bit abstract. But she was pretty sure that the animal depicted on her mask was a butterfly. It looked… it looked… it looked like the rear end of a pride parade had exploded all over it, smearing green, blues, and purple on the white porcelain. It was only missing glitter to be truly fabulous.

She had the sinking feeling that it hadn't just come out of storage, either. It would be incredibly dangerous to leave ANBU masks lying around. That thought and the fact that the vivid blue ink of the bones of the drawing matched her wig gave her the impression that it had been from Tsunade. It was probably her idea of a joke.

Aiko wasn't amused in the least. A butterfly? What the hell was that supposed to mean?

With her disappointing mask tucked under her arm she paced the rows, collecting ANBU gear in her own sizes. Most of it was standard stuff that she could get in bulk on her own, like the black shirt, pants, and bandages, but the lavender ceramic plate armor and distinctive hip pouches were only available from this armory. The gloves could probably be found elsewhere but she didn't know where, so she just got a few extras. She was going to be charged for all her equipment anyway, so she didn't have to feel guilty about getting more than she was meant to.

She had to be nearing the end of her training, although Aiko didn't actually know the date. Genjutsu-sensei had sought her out twice more with his unique blend of 'creeptastic' and 'informative' help. (She had figured out that it was safer to dispel multiple times in a row just in case he'd layered multiple levels of what just looked like a hallway or something). Taijutsu hadn't made her throw up from exertion in at least a week, and she had strong muscles corded along her arms and legs that hadn't been there before. The men who had been in front of her in training had finished, and she was now in the strange position of being the senior to three junior recruits, seeing them struggle as she had not so long ago. Her free time was now ten hours, which left her plenty of time to sleep after she was done studying regulations and being taught how she was expected to behave in various circumstances. All in all, she felt like a different person than she'd been when she entered.

'No. That's not right. I feel like a better version of me.'

At least, she felt better as a shinobi, if not a person. Despite knowing it was what she was supposed to feel (and hating doing what they wanted), being able to call herself ANBU made pride well up in her chest. They were the elite… well, sort of.

ANBU were like Konoha's secret services division. Not every member was extraordinarily strong: she knew that ANBU recruited plenty of Chuunin. Rank wasn't as relevant as a shinobi's skill in certain specialized areas. But still, there was a tinge of prestige associated with the ranking.

And hey, she wasn't perfect. Pride was a bit of a vice, but denying the tendency wouldn't have been any better.

Wearing the uniform for the first time felt good. She'd worked to be able to deserve it, even if it was a little lumpy and unflattering. For the first time, she had the girlish desire for a long mirror so that she could spin and twist and admire herself from multiple angles.

'Don't be ridiculous,' she chided herself, pulling her hair up and pinning it in a braid that circled her skull like a headband. (It was the only way to prevent it from slipping out from under the wig when she moved around a lot). She bit her lip in concentration as she worked the blue strands on over her head, securing it with a few hairpins. When loose, it fell in a cute asymmetrical bob around her jaw… but it did look really weird with her coloring, she felt. Her skin had warm pink undertones, so the cool blue was her opposite in a way. It didn't look bad, but it looked very strange. She hurriedly secured the mask and turned away from her little mirror, securing the straps of her short sword (her own blade was close enough to standard issue that they'd let her use it) and hip pouch as she walked out of her room.

Her arms burnt every time she moved them, but for once it wasn't muscle discomfort. The stop immediately before the armory had been a little office full of (what she thought was) bizarre equipment that turned out to belong to a tattooist. If they weren't bandaged, Aiko probably wouldn't have been able to keep her eyes off the Konoha swirls on her upper arms. She'd never thought of herself as a 'tattoo' person, but they were actually pretty cool… even if it was Konoha branding its ownership of her flesh.

She would be assigned to a temporary team today and led through procedures. ANBU specific hand-signs had been included in the endless rounds of copying from earlier to help prepare her to work with the captain who should be training her in team work. If it hadn't been taught before, working with a group would have been all but impossible. ANBU weren't meant to talk on the job, although she was willing to bet that experienced units bent that rule. No one had bothered to teach much about ANBU standard procedure, but that was probably because it was much like the regular units.

'No matter. I'm sure that my team will show me the ropes.'

It only took a few hours for her to curse her own naivety.

'Kakashi spoiled me,' she sighed, feeling the heat of her own breath wash over her cheeks where it was trapped by the porcelain. 'He's a much better team leader than Fish. He never just ran around and assumed I'd figure things out and catch up.'

At least she felt slightly better about her own ANBU designation after meeting the team. It could have been much worse than a silly butterfly. Someone somewhere in this town had a paintbrush and not enough healthy outlets for their sadism.

Sai would have hummed if he were capable of having the thought, swirling red ink around the mask that would belong to ANBU squid. Large cats and forest dwelling mammals were all well and good, but it was so strange that no one had thought to branch out to all the other varieties of animals for these masks. He had acquired a zoology text from the civilian library and learned all about sea animals, insects, and all sorts of fascinating things. For example, there were living creatures in the ocean that in fact resembled plants. Was that not most intriguing?

'I suppose I'll never know.' She cracked her neck and tried to focus on the drills they were running. Not a single one of her new comrades had uttered a word to her since she had reported. Aiko couldn't help but hope that this wasn't her permanent placement. Fish, Donkey, and Boar were ridiculous enough as a group on their own. (And she couldn't help but wonder where the glamour of ANBU was. Shouldn't there be 'Lions' and 'Bears' and 'Dragons' with fierce teeth and scary eyes? No, all she saw were huge noses, puffy cheeks, and ridiculous porcelain ears. She'd never admit it to his face, but apparently Yamato had gotten off lightly with his kitty mask.)

For a group of isolated loners, ANBU seemed to put a lot of stock in team drills. It made sense that they would need to be able to fight together in close quarters. She was seeing some frightfully powerful attacks from her current teammates. Being in the wrong place could end with taking a fatal hit from friendly fire.

That would be an enormous waste and a stupid way to die, so she paid attention and tried to pick up on the patterns they were showing her on bunshin for different tactical situations that would be dealt with as a group. They probably figured that everyone present was already capable of individual combat. ANBU didn't take protection missions except under bizarre circumstances—they were shock and awe troops. So they didn't have to do much in the way of pretending to protect a client or target. Those defensive types of formation were easier and safer because a team wasn't facing each other. They might all have their backs together or have one at the rear watching backs. But ANBU apparently didn't put much stock in that. If you missed an attack from the rear, no one was about to pick up your slack because they were concerned with their own targets. That danger was very real, but so was the possibility of getting hit with your teammate's attacks.

That first practice was not pretty. It might have been better if she had been familiar with everyone's repertoire. She took mental notes as the day passed, hoping that paying close attention would help her improve quickly.

Fish seemed to rely heavily on his short sword, wires, and fire ninjutsu. She could easily stay out of range of his blade, but the sharp wires were easy to miss and she didn't much fancy the idea of being burnt alive. She'd seen that happen before, and it was an ugly thing.

Boar, on the other hand, was a hulking mass of a man with hands the size of her forearm who favored brute force taijutsu interspersed with shurikenjutsu and minor misdirective genjutsu. She didn't mind fighting him—he couldn't possibly hit harder than Gai, and he wasn't as fast. She was pretty numb to having the stuffing beat out of her. Granted, he was fast enough to score hits on her, but never rapid enough that she was unable to block or mitigate the force of the blow. Plus, he didn't seem to be intentionally trying to hurt her to prove his superiority like the last member of the crew did.

Donkey was a much better genjutsu user than Boar. He apparently favored flashy illusions and terrifying explosions. The thought of what he would have done if that bunshin had been a real human had managed to make her turn a little green under her mask.

She kept her distance from him.

'and isn't that bizarre? Here I thought I was so numb to gore.'

There was really no purpose to what he did. If it had just been about killing a target, Donkey wouldn't utilize such flamboyant attacks. No, he was a showman. And probably a bit of a sadist. Aiko killed a lot of people, but she didn't enjoy it and she didn't intentionally cause more pain than necessary. Her ANBU teammates seemed not to share her compunctions, though Fish displayed a similarly minimalist sensibility in a fight.

'At least village patrols are easy. Even if I am stuck with this team, it's not going to be for weeks at a time outside the village.'

Sure, there were a lot of search patterns to memorize, but after that it was just a matter of moving around and paying attention to anything potentially hazardous or suspicious. In the four days that she had been running patrols, she'd only had to make her presence known once. That had been in order to break up a bar fight.

Bar fights were always sort of stupid and sad, as far as Aiko was concerned. But if it was between civilians or even Samurai, they weren't a big deal. After all, they usually weren't armed when they went to go get smashed, and even a trained Samurai wasn't likely to actually kill someone in a drunken fistfight. Ninja were different because they couldn't be disarmed. Aside from having been specifically trained in hand-to-hand unlike Samurai who were weapon masters, ninja always had chakra; and alcohol didn't make those abilities less dangerous. Sometimes they were actually worse. When inebriated, chakra-based attacks became erratic. Even an experienced user might cause significant bystander damage or fuck up entirely and lose control of the technique.

It had still been a bit annoying to have to grab two Chuunin who were significantly older and larger than she was and shake them like naughty kittens. Boar had helpfully taken it upon himself to relieve her of one of them when her group came back around, but the others didn't offer assistance and so she'd painstakingly dragged her nearly unconscious cargo across town to the temporary holding facilities. She very nearly snapped and killed her cargo when he drunkenly felt her up, but somehow maintained professionalism.

However dull and repetitive patrols seemed to be, at least they didn't take very long. She was left plenty of time for personal development in between morning workouts and night patrols, which meant training. After the restrictions of the last weeks, it was a fucking comfortable routine. It was broken when an enormous bear of a man with horrible scarring introduced himself as Morino Ibiki and collected her from the group training fields. Even if she hadn't recognized him by reputation as a big name in Interrogations, she would have known he wasn't ANBU from the simple fact that he didn't seem to begrudge every word. She didn't dare ask as she trotted to keep up with his larger strides, but he matter-of-factly informed her that he was taking her to perform her exit evaluations.

That was a bit of a surprise, despite the fact that she hadn't had a full evaluation done since she had become a Chuunin. Her stats were probably out of date before she'd come in to ANBU, so it was a logical move. But…

'Exit evaluations? I had no idea I was done.'

There was apparently no need to test taijutsu and strength—ANBU Turtle had already provided his evaluation.

Genjutsu testing was much like every time the creep came to find her: she just tried to identify when she was in an illusion, break it, and had to explain how she knew.

The stamina portion was actually just part of a quick medical check up to see how her childishly growing chakra core was changing. It shouldn't have been surprising, since she was a growing (hopefully growing, anyway) girl, but it had shot up a full point in capacity since her last official testing prior to signing up for ANBU.

Handseals were easy as always to test in—she identified her repertoire and ran through various nonsense combinations that the examiner gave her at top speed. Dexterity, a bit of reading, and fingers that were as speedy as the user's mind made it pretty simple to prop that rating up. It was one of the easiest categories to gain high proficiency in.

The last two categories were the only ones she was worried about. Her examiner seemed to notice her unease. "Don't worry." She looked directly at him, trying to judge if he was just being comforting or if he was actually saying she could use techniques that Tsunade had still classified for the general public. He gave her a wry smile. "We don't make physical records of your techniques. I will merely assess your level and record your new statistics."

Well… they did need accurate information. She bit her lower lip, but conceded with a nod. "May I fetch something from my room?"

He seemed a bit baffled by that, but rolled his eyes long sufferingly. "You have two minutes."

It didn't take anywhere near that long. Her room was empty enough that the one kunai she had brought with her (the last pre-made Hiraishin in her possession) was easy to grab and get out. Morino-san looked outright irritated when he saw that she'd wasted his time to get a single kunai, but didn't say anything.

"Speed or ninjutsu first?"

Hiraishin was sort of the middle ground between the two. It counted towards both skill sets, so she'd want to do it last out of whichever category was first.

"Ninjutsu."

'Okay then.'

She pulsed a quick check of her reserves out of unthinking habit, and then whipped through her water-based repertoire. Mist, bunshin, hard bullets, a wave that completely knocked over a wooden target, and then… "Sen Tsurara!"

Normally she didn't say the names of techniques, but this one deserved a bit of theatricality. She aimed it at the 'chest' to make a more accurate illustration of just how deep it could cut. It shredded her wooden target, flinging chips and splinters out ten feet, and she ended with her fingers poking out the back of the target.

She'd never killed anyone with this, but it would probably be pretty easy.

Morino-san didn't look particularly impressed while he brushed splinters off his coat, but then, this was ANBU. He'd probably seen similar techniques. Sen Tsurara wasn't unique for its destructive power. In fact, it was a little weaker than its lightning-based predecessor.

She wasn't hung up on that at all, though. Chidori could cut pretty literally anything, so being less efficient than Chidori wasn't a big black mark. It still possessed enough force to seriously fuck some shit up. Since she was show boating, Aiko tilted her head to the right as she extended her left arm and wound increasingly thin chakra chains around it in a high-speed shot that collided with the hard target and left a spiderweb of cracks and small impact crater.

That time, he really did curse. But that may have been because cement chunks were sharper than the wood. If she hadn't been wearing a mask she would have given an apologetic smile. Since her features were hidden and she really wasn't sorry in the least, Aiko grinned. This was actually pretty fun. She didn't know the last time she'd actually gotten to show off like this. Kakashi was the only other one who knew her full repertoire, and since he'd taught her most of it… well. This was just a new experience, that was all.

"Are you quite done throwing things at me?"

'Ooo, someone is crabby today.'

She was sorely tempted to fling her kunai at him to be a smartass, but somehow refrained and threw it straight up without looking, flashed to it, threw it again to the target, and then tugged again to catch the ring on the knife's end around her finger. Aiko turned to face Morino-san, twirling it idly around her finger and blandly stated, "Hiraishin."

He was doing a remarkable impression of a fish for just an instant. "No shit, kid." Ibiki slowly shook his head, eyes locked on her. "Well, not much point in doing a speed assessment now," he said wryly. "Instantaneous travel is a 5."

'That is correct, bitches.'

Aiko didn't say that, of course. But she thought it really loudly.

Being out in the village proper again was really weird. The crowds were everywhere, and it was so much louder than either night patrols or the ANBU facility. The feeling that she didn't quite fit in the way she had before was about literal: the quarter sleeves on the green tunic she'd worn in stretched and pulled at her shoulders and upper arms. She somewhat miserably noted that she'd have to go shopping again. The sleeves on her old clothes were just a little too tight now to allow full freedom of movement. As soon as she got to the house, she stripped out of her old outfit and changed into black stretchy shorts and a belly-baring purple tanktop for comfort. A quick survey of her closet revealed that some of her wardrobe was going to fit better than other parts.

She didn't exactly regret getting a bit more muscle mass, but it was an inconvenience when she liked to buy her clothes in the snuggest size instead of buying baggy fabrics and securing the ends with bandages like her boys did.

It was probably a good thing that she had replicas of this outfit, even if she normally slept in it. She was perfectly decent, at least. All the important bits were covered. She could wander around in shorts and a tanktop with her boots and gloves for a while until she had a chance to go shopping.

"Hey."

"Hi, Karin," she absently replied, turning her head to see the girl leaning against her doorway. "How's working with your temp team going?"

Karin rolled her eyes. "Things change when you leave the village for a few weeks," she pointed out dully, rubbing her fingernails compulsively against her hip bone. "The first and second stages are over. It was seriously bad."

"What?" Aiko furrowed her brow, genuinely confused. "What do you mean? You're definitely Chuunin level by now."

"That's what I meant," Karin explained, coming in to flop down on Aiko's bed like a starfish. "Since so many of our age group weren't allowed to go to the last foreign exams, we outnumbered the competition like eight to one. I don't think there was a single Konoha team that didn't make it past the first exam. The second got rid of a few rookie teams, but the final line-up pretty much entirely Konoha. It's not really fair to the younger group. Like, that Neji guy is combat-Jounin level already, so it's a pretty big farce to have him fighting against twelve year olds."

Aiko took a moment to visualize that, and had to start giggling helplessly. Karin was smiling like a Cheshire cat, but regally tilted her head up to avoid eye contact. "It was every bit as hilarious as you're probably imagining," she confided.

"I can't stop picturing his grumpy little face," Aiko wheezed, leaning over slightly. Ow. Laughing hurt.

Karin sat up suddenly and swiveled to face the window—and then shrieked and fell off the bed onto her ass with a thump.

To be fair, some of those ANBU masks were seriously creepy. Seeing one pressed up against the glass was a bit surprising. Aiko pushed the frame up and stuck her head out. "I need to report?" Karin seemed baffled at how casually she reacted, but did an admirable job of recovering from her earlier startle. "To the Hokage? Do I need to change?"

Karin snorted at that, but Aiko took the shaken head as indication that she didn't have to go in ANBU gear. She couldn't very well ask more directly with Karin right there.

As the ANBU left the property, Aiko got up on her toes to pull down a clean pair of open toed boots off the top shelf of her closet and ran a mental checklist. 'Should I grab my gear in case this is a mission assignment?'

Just to be safe, she strapped on a single pre-packed hip pouch and a kunai holster, shoving her marked knife in almost as an afterthought.

"Don't forget to come to the finals tomorrow," Karin called out from behind her while she pulled the door shut. Aiko stopped just long enough to yell a confirmation back in the door and then took off.

Shizune was notably absent from the office, but Sasuke managed to give her a semi-friendly nod when she walked up and directed her in. Tsunade looked up dully. Then she slowly raised an eyebrow and pinned Aiko with an unimpressed look. "My people wear these things called clothes," she drawled pointedly. "Perhaps you've heard of them?"

Unashamed, Aiko shrugged and closed the door behind her with a bang. When your abs were this good, who cared if they were showing?

"In any case, have a seat. I suppose that the first thing I should do is congratulate you for passing the basic training. I'll inform you when it's time for you to return for more specialized training"

She didn't particularly like the sound of that. "Specialized training?" she repeated in as normal a voice as possible.

Tsunade glanced up, mildly interested. "Silly girl. Of course there's specialized training; both role and gender specific. You'll need to pick at least one specialty eventually, like infiltration or heavy combat. And besides." She gave Aiko a rather saucy expression. "Unless I miss my guess, Hatake never got around to teaching you all about the feminine wiles he's so good with."

Point taken.

"I have definitely noticed his feminine wiles and am envious beyond words," she agreed dryly.

"In any case." The blonde woman pushed her chair back and leaned forward with her elbows on the table. "If you're ever going to sing for me, little bird, you're going to have to find your way into Root." Aiko cringed. Honestly, she was sort of hoping that she didn't succeed in that part of her mission. It would be one thing to note oddities in behaviors and such, and quite another to try to get Danzo's attention.

But she couldn't outright tell the Hokage no. At best, she could quietly sabotage her own efforts, but it would have to be subtle enough that she didn't even get reprimanded for incompetence.

Unaware of the ironically subversive thoughts that the girl she'd intended to sniff out traitors was having, Tsunade continued. "You will have to present yourself as a neutral party. From now on, our interactions will be limited to when you are on ANBU guard duty, and at a distance in public. With your connections to important figures like Hatake and Naruto, it's a coin toss as to whether Danzo will see an unrivaled opportunity or unnecessary risk. He does have his own forces, but you're going to have to be a more attractive option despite your unorthodox training."

'Unorthodox? Does she mean from Danzo's perspective?'

"In order to make this work, we will need to give several impressions about your possible worth as an ANBU recruit. Good job on your recent evaluation. I'm certain that Danzo still has eyes in the processing department and will pick up on promising potential recruits. When I keep Sai at a distance from anyone Danzo is interested in, he'll have to go looking for a new source of information." Tsunade cracked her neck, and wryly added, "And believe me, he'll be interested in reassessing Naruto after a two year absence with someone he considers dangerously liberal."

It took a moment to remember whether or not she was supposed to already know that Sai was one of Danzo's goons.

'She told me that last time,' Aiko reassured herself, thankful that her lack of reaction hadn't given anything away. The point was moot, of course, because Tsunade wasn't paying attention while she talked through the problem. However accidentally, Tsunade had brought up one point that resonated with Aiko. She didn't want Danzo messing around with Naruto. Who knew what he might try?

Ceasing to pay her full attention didn't make Tsunade stop talking. Aiko half-heartedly tuned in with one ear, wondering what kind of resources Danzo really had. He didn't have influence on the council anymore, but he did have a private militia and the respect of the general populace. What did he have for material resources? She had no idea, but it might be something to look into.

"I may put you in repeated close contact with Sai or other suspected Root agents to give Danzo a chance to recruit you, but you'll obviously still have to be close to your regular team for the potential information to seem worth the risk. Luckily," she paused to level Aiko with an unimpressed look, "Your childhood dislike of the Sandaime was such a source of distress to him that I can guarantee Danzo knew about it. We can give the impression that you think he and I by extension are too soft and that Konoha needs to toughen up. He'll lap that shit up. You're not going to convince him that you don't care about Naruto, but he might believe that you think you know what's best for him and are willing to go above his head to act in his interests. People are often tempted to believe others are like them."

'Is she implying that an elementary aged kid was responsible for the happiness of a full-grown man? Aiko had to resist the urge to snort and barely managed to keep her expression impassive. That was stupid. No, if the Sandaime had been miserable, it was his own sense of guilt or other sources of sorrow to blame. No one really cared that much about what a child thought. Children were notorious for their poor memory and misperceptions, after all.

Her 'talk' with Tsunade continued much in that fashion. Tsunade worked her way through various contingencies and gave advice and orders for whatever possible situations she could think of.

When Aiko trotted down the stairs, Sasuke poked his head into the office. "I didn't hear excited shrieking," he pointed out disinterestedly.

Tsunade's eyes widened innocently. "Oh, right. That's because I forgot to tell her we're expecting Naruto tomorrow."

If it were possible to activate the Sharingan by rolling one's eyes too hard, Sasuke might have gotten a nice photographic reference of the inside of his skull. 'Of course you did. Or… you're just pretending to have forgotten because you think it'll be amusing to see everyone surprised tomorrow.' He eyed her suspiciously, waiting for a clue as to whether this was another bizarrely circuitous plot of genuine absentmindedness. His mentor just held his gaze and sloowwwly let her mouth curl into a parody of a smile.

'The world will never know.' He sighed and pretended to dismiss her in boredom, sauntering out the door with an intentional bit of swagger. Tsunade always got twitchy when he appeared to find her dull.

Shizune had made him promise to keep Tsunade focused on her work while she was in Sand overseeing their medical program, and Sasuke would nobly follow through. The sacrifice of playing mind games that annoyed and kept her working angrily was a heavy burden to bear, but he felt himself capable of the task.

Besides, it kept him away from that blonde sand kunoichi who'd escorted Suna's genin teams to the exams. He was relatively certain that Sabaku no Temari looked at him with impure thoughts. It was a little uncomfortable. Sure, he'd had female admirers, but most of them weren't people he had to work with diplomatically. It was impossible to run away and ill-advised to kill her, so he was at a bit of a loss as to an appropriately measured reaction.

'At least she should be leaving after tomorrow's finals,' he reminded himself. He only had one more day of her inappropriate attempts to hold eye contact across the negotiation table. Just one.

#vapors #uzumaki aiko #electrasev5n #ninja daily #fanfiction #naruto fanfiction

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kiigan · 5 months ago

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«Yes. Kisame, of the Hoshigaki clan from Kiri.»

ㅤA name that brings a shadow of grief to darken Itachi's eyes all the more than what they already naturally are. A name that comes associated with feelings of loyalty, companionship, strangely compatible interests and opinions... and with a lot of tangled-up things that Itachi doesn't feel prepared to revisit just yet. And so he pushes it all back to a tiny corner of his mind, and moves on. What's another ghost to carry within him, after all.

ㅤ«I didn't see all that much - it wouldn't be wise to linger, as you can imagine. Mostly, I'd see you in passing when you were headed to class or to a mission, later on, and that was already good enough. My intention was only to make sure you were healthy and safe, and lacking for nothing.»

ㅤOther than, you know, an alive and present family. But that's probably another topic that neither brother is prepared to tackle for now, if ever, and so he moves on again. And then it's the use of this specific word, diverted, that has Itachi blinking in surprise, at first, and his eyebrows creasing in thought ever so slightly.

«Sasuke-»

ㅤCareful now. There is a lot to unpack from those brief sentences alone, and by the gods he does not want to sound like he's criticizing his brother. Alas, Itachi was never one to know when to shut up instead of being strongly opinionated, and not even the years in Akatsuki have changed that. Let's try to find a middle ground, then.

ㅤ«Forgive me, I am not sufficiently aware of the village's current state and conditions to be able to offer accurate feedback.»

ㅤSeems like a decent enough start and it's not a lie, either; being stuck in a hospital bed for months and months, first in an actual coma and then undergoing a myriad of tests and exams and treatments and recovery protocols, tends to leave a person out of the loop. Not to mention, it's none of his business to start with. He's not part of the Council, he's not Hokage, he's not ANBU captain anymore, he's not even a shinobi of Konoha as it is. For all intents and purposes, he's a pardoned criminal and even that pardon came from the extraordinary time-of-war circumstances and an ungodly amount of kindness and understanding on Kakashi's and Tsunade's end. It's not the kind of matters he has any right to comment on but, at the same time, there is one particular thing he really wants Sasuke to know.

ㅤ«Either way... please, don't fall into the same mistake that I did myself. Believing that you should do everything on your own, without knowing how to ask for help and let alone accept it.»

ㅤAt least, there's solace in knowing that Naruto is there as well - though, with Kushina's son, the odds are always 50/50 on whether he'll help for good or help to create more chaos. Which Itachi thinks very fondly of, and he wouldn't have chosen a better friend for his little brother. Taking a few further seconds to carefully collect his thoughts, he stands from the table, feeling around the edge of it to gain a better sense of orientation in relation to the counters, and from there walks over to stand by the window instead. And it's not like his eyes can see anything outside, but he's memorized the sight. The other houses nearby, the neighbors that are home at this time of the day and the ones who left to go about their work, the shops that are open. All part of the village that is his most treasured glory and, at the same time, cause of his/their cruelest tragedy.

ㅤ«There is much to consider, when taking action towards peace - no matter how inherently good the intention is. Even the smallest changes have repercussions, and nothing exists in a void. A village is like a living organism, it contains many different parts that come together as a whole and all of them are important in their own way. Which is why, in turn, it's important to have transparency in what is being done. Among the Council members, between the Council and organizations such as the ANBU, between all the people in leadership positions and the people that are being led and who trust them for such. Achieving peace should be a common goal for all, and even that will be only the first step. Then, ideally, should come cooperation with other villages, big and small alike. It truly is no easy feat, nor something that can survive based on localized patch-ups of something that is being done incorrectly.»

ㅤCryptic words, he supposes, and the kind of conversation he's only ever felt comfortable enough to hold with Shisui, back in the day. Maybe even abstract and utopian, and in a way he's curious what Sasuke will make of it all - as much as he hopes his brother will also forgive him the impromptu speech. Turning around again, he returns to the younger one's side and fumbles around for a couple seconds till finding one of Sasuke's hands, that he gently takes with both his own along with the same loving smile from before.

ㅤ«With all this said, I am very proud of you. For caring and for wanting to change things for the better.»

mhm. (he hums, fiddling around with the stuffed animals hes carrying. somehow talking about his pursuits he did in his brother's name, in front of his brother, feels rather embarrassing.) we've diverted the funds from the ANBU into building the orphanage and mental health clinic and funding it. we're...hoping that supporting children and other citizens will decrease the "need" for military operations. go back to having shinobi helping with productivity...and stuff.

(he knows his brother cant see him, but he cant help but feel intimidated by his eyes. he also cant bring himself to treat his brother any differently. so, his eyes are cast towards the floor as he contemplates his brother's words. would he have liked to see him at that point in time? probably not. yet, his heart still aches that there was a time his brother was close to him--but not close enough.)

youre talking about the swordsman? it seems my team member grew up with him.... but anyways, how much did you see? of me? (worrying his lip, he wonders if his brother observed him trying to hurt his teammates or being cowardly in battle.)

#long post #sassykinzonline #[verse] the hand entangled in compassion #i absolutely did not intend to write an essay on how itachi would run the village and yet here we are

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mixelation · 4 years ago

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i know you've talked a fair amount about subverting tropes which is always fun, but are there any tropes you genuinely love? either to read or write yourself. alternatively, any tropes you absolutely despise and wish didn't exist at all?

hmm not all of these are tropes, but here’s some stuff i always feel compelled to click on:

random person ends up with villains. i don’t care if it’s a rando civilian teenager or a child or just like a “good guy” character who had a few very bad days. this shit is my jam

time travel into the character’s younger body. ESPECIALLY if it’s a semi-reformed villain trying to do slightly better. also i like it when they just create new problems instead of solving old ones :) OR--- they just easy-mode the plot but (and this is VERY IMPORTANT) it’s played for laughs/crack

crack treated seriously. please put your favorite characters in absurd situations and make them struggle to deal with it while staying IC. p l e a s e

someone’s OC gets romanced in the most generic and boring way possible. bonus points if they get involved with the protagonists in the most mundane way possible, like being someone’s accountant

alternative mentor fics

sometimes i like “OP!character” fics but the same way some people slow down to check out the aftermath of a bad car crash. bonus points if there’s character bashing that doesn’t even make sense (i.e., main character tells off their mentor figure for Sins Against Them that have not happened in canon or in fic)

when a weird plot contrivance makes characters who wouldn’t normally work together.... work together. this can either be “enemies/rivals put in a metaphorical get-along shirt by circumstance” or just “these characters have never met in canon, but i think it would be fun if they did”

there aren’t any tropes that I wish didn’t exist at all bc just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean other people shouldn’t.... but here’s some things i actively avoid clicking on (under a cut bc #negativity)

anything that invokes “alpha-beta” dynamics. this includes omegaverse, werewolf AUs, and slamming the backbutton when dog/wolf associated characters like Kakashi harp too much about “pack dynamics”

ships that emphasize devotion of a person in service to someone else as part of the ~attraction~. this includes stuff like knight/princess and bodyguard/celebrity. it doesn’t necessary include all boss/employee or commanding officer/lower ranked person ships as long as the writer isn’t going on and on about how ~loyal~ the lesser ranked person is to the higher ranked one or otherwise fetishizing the unequal power dynamic wrt their work

BAMF!Sakura fics that go out of their way to bash canon!Sakura. This includes stuff like entire chapters about Sakura learning how useless and stupid she is for, like, being 12 and having a crush on a cute boy or wanting to dress cute. Like it’s not really dealbreaker but I’ll be annoyed about it the whole time XD

“...and there was only one bed!”

98% of sick fics squick me

usually if a fic smells like an Issue Fic then i’ll steer clear, because most fic writers...... don’t know what they’re doing.

also if you inject raw DNA into your arm to gain another being’s powers i will completely lose my mind. i’ll keep reading but also know i’ll be screaming into someone’s DMs

again i want to emphasize that these are PERSONAL PREFERENCES and i don’t, you know, judge people or care that they have differing tastes. it’s normal that different people like different things. i’ve had people call me out for being too negative so i just want to emphasize this disclaimer lol

#Anonymous

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electrasev5nwrites · 2 years ago

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Ninja Daily: Vapors 47

It took conscious effort to pick her jaw back up.

"Say that again?" Aiko asked a bit weakly.

He glared, looking spectacularly uncomfortable, as if he was possibly considering pulling a Sasuke and fleeing the conversation. But Kakashi-shishou gave a pouty little huff and repeated himself. "I re-evaluated my previous rhetorical position. I have an alternative for the Rasengan."

Perhaps there just weren't any logs nearby to substitute with. Aiko resisted the temptation to check.

'If I'm not mistaken, that's a wordy apology.' She smoothed her features and did her best not to look too surprised. There would be no point to insulting him or making him feel any more uncomfortable by seeming too exuberantly grateful. Aiko didn't like these sorts of conversations either, so she directed her reply to the ground and scuffed the toes of her sandal in the dirt, tracing lines. "I misspoke as well," she muttered. "I was taking other frustrations out on you. I don't want to be arguing anymore."

"Well, that's settled then." One of those ludicrous fake eye-smiles diffused the tension, and Kakashi shifted into business mode with a palpable air of relief. "Before I teach you, I have one warning. I based this off of my experience making chidori, so don't go sharing insights about it to anyone else. It's a bit of a cheat sheet for reverse engineering my technique."

She blanched. 'He invented a technique for me? Holy shit,' Aiko thought weakly. That was a hell of an apology. 'I should probably master it and be damn grateful. I'm definitely not going to mention being okay with the Rasengan after all.'

"The name's a little deceptive, but I rather like it. Sen Tsurara—one thousand icicles. I initially tried to use the same shape transformation as for my chidori, but it ended up much less compact, but without the long tendrils of excess energy that characterize chidori. If you haven't noticed by now, chidori uses Ox, Rabbit, and then Monkey."

He demonstrated without channeling chakra, which was a damn sight harder than it sounded. "I couldn't get what I wanted to work with three handsigns—the minimum appears to be four." He paused. "Well, at least until you've mastered it to the point where it comes naturally. Have you ever used Jin?"

Aiko shook her head. He just lazily blinked as if he expected that. At least, it seemed like he blinked, even though she couldn't see both eyes. She had to assume he wasn't really winking at her all the time.

"Alright. Jin is commonly associated with water release techniques." He demonstrated slowly and carefully. When Aiko mimicked it, he moved on. "It starts the same, but you're going to lose the Rabbit seal entirely and substitute in 'Dog' and then 'Jin', but still end with Monkey. Show me."

Aiko entirely blocked the chakra paths in her wrists and flashed through the sequence, not fumbling on the new seal.

"Good." Kakashi let a hand wander up to that electrocuted mop he called hair, a gesture she recognized as meaning he was thinking. "Alright. Obviously, there's no ice involved in this technique. I can do many things, but I haven't figured out how to transfer bloodline limits yet."

It took conscious effort not to look at the hidden Sharingan eye under his dark blue mask.

"Instead of ice, you'll actually be generating water and using the same concentration you do to give water bullets their hard edge." He shrugged lazily. "It looks a lot like ice, and that sounds better than 'One thousand pointy bits of water.' Then he looked contemplative for a moment, before putting his palms up and sheepishly admitting, "And it's actually more like six hundred seventy six pointy bits, but who's counting?" His visible eye curved into a smile.

She was a little appalled that he'd actually been anal enough to count them himself (and how had he even managed that?), but agreed that no one else was likely to spot the fib in the name.

"Is… is it a running technique like chidori?" she asked, curious.

He shook his head. "No, that's dangerous. Not that this doesn't have its own problems," he admitted self-depreciatingly. "It's not a sustained technique. It only lasts about a second and a half at most. So if your timing is off, you're just pawing at people with your bare hand."

"And that doesn't work for anyone but a Hyuuga," she finished.

His lip seemed to twitch under his mask. "Correct." Then he demonstrated, flipping through the seals at a speed she couldn't even register, since she already knew what they would be.

Of course, nothing seemed to happen for a good second. She furrowed her brow and looked up at his face, which seemed decidedly amused. "As you can see, nothing happens until you force a burst of chakra out past the buildup," he drawled. "The seals are just preparation in this case. You can ready them as much as a few seconds before you actually use the technique, which does mitigate something of the timing problem." He ran through the hand seals again, this time lifting up his right hand and pulsing chakra through it.

It exploded—it really did look like ice burst out of his hand. In the moments it lasted, he lazily demonstrated that it wasn't bound to a single trajectory by moving his arm from side to side, letting the technique move with him. Then suddenly it dissolved, collapsing into a sphere of water and then splashing to the ground, all form lost.

"Whoa." She took a deep breath, mind working. "There's something I didn't see, isn't there? If it had just been that hard-edge technique, it would have shredded your hand as well."

He looked a bit proud. "Insightful. Yes, the first step is a soft cushion around your hand." He kneeled to scoop up the fallen water and demonstrated a wiggly glove construct, instead of generating more raw material. "You're going to attach the hard edge to that, instead of your flesh."

She made a face. That sounded like a pain. He hadn't actually taught her a technique that complicated before. He made it look easy, but the control for that cushion was analogous to what beginning medics would need. She would be able to do it while working on another technique, but barely and only with a fair bit of concentration.

'That means more chakra control practice, so I can use this on-the-go,' she sighed. Goddamnit.

Kakashi chuckled lowly, not sounding particularly amused. "It would be embarrassing to cripple yourself with your own technique. So, don't forget that part. The difficult bit is manifesting that independently of what you're doing with the handseals for the hard-edge portion, but the closer they are together time-wise, the less likely that the people you are about to skewer have a chance to figure out the possible weakness that you can be harmed by your own technique."

He didn't have to explain why that would be a bad thing.

"Duly noted." Aiko fidgeted.

"Show me that part first," he lazily demanded, leaning back against a tree. "I know you can do it, but I'd like to see it actually generated and not picked up from a natural source."

For a while, he just let her work in silence, occasionally giving a tip or snarky critique. She had managed to start attaching hard edges to the protective cushion, even though they were messy and nothing like shishou's perfect, symmetrical jagged protrusions by the time he brought up a strange topic.

"I didn't realize you and Naruto were living on your own from such a young age. Four, wasn't it?"

'Why's he bringing that up now?'

Aiko frowned, stealing a glance at her sensei. The tone had been perfectly level and casual, but something had been very wrong about the statement nonetheless, and not just the fact that he rarely initiated idle conversation. Perhaps it had been the way he emphasized syllables or the fact that he was trying too hard to sound nonchalant.

Either way, it seemed like a dangerous question to respond to. Kakashi was fishing for information or a certain response. Saying something when she didn't know what he was looking for could end poorly. Aiko didn't intend for anyone to ever find out that she had been reincarnated or had precognition or whatever the hell was going on in her head. She barely trusted in her own sanity, and she was the one stuck in her head. Doubtless, no one else would just accept such a crazy claim. It was better to let people attribute the fact that she didn't always entirely 'click' to whatever they wanted. Often, people told themselves far better lies than anyone else could.

So Aiko shrugged noncommittally, focusing on her task and how the goddamn icicle things just wouldn't manifest the long, straight edges that Kakashi's technique had instead of responding verbally. Her shishou seemed to measure the response, tilting his head slightly like a bird. If she knew him at all, which she definitely did, now he would be re-thinking his rhetorical approach and coming at whatever he wanted to know from another angle. She would probably be able to figure out what he was really angling for by considering his first question in conjunction with whatever he tried next.

"Why do you act as though you're so much older than your brother?" Kakashi asked suddenly.

Aiko blinked, taken aback by the odd question. He didn't suspect that she was really an adult—that wasn't a suspicion you gently prodded at, so she didn't see the connection. "I don't know. I just suppose that someone had to take care of things, and I was more qualified."

'Because I was born fully conscious and aware,' her mind filled in. Was it lying if she finished her sentences in her head?

Her shishou seemed to frown, eye darkening. "You shouldn't have had to."

'Oh. That's what this is about. He's feeling guilty now that he realizes no one stepped up to take care of us after Minato and Kushina died.'

The realization was surprisingly irritating. Aiko rolled her eyes, exasperated. He'd been fourteen and just lost the last of his support system—of course he hadn't been able to take the twins in, even if he had been able to afford and care for two infants.

"Who cares what I 'shouldn't have had' to do? It's a bit late now, and obviously it worked out. Look at how well adjusted I am." She held her hands out in demonstration, and momentarily regretted that Yamato wasn't there. That joke would have garnered at least a snort.

"Tough crowd," she muttered at Kakashi's unamused expression. Aiko shrugged, turning away and stubbornly avoiding his eye, pretending to be engrossed in hand seals. "Look, I don't know what you want me to say. I don't regret it. I like being an adult."

Kakashi just looked tired and depressed, slumping his shoulders inward."But you weren't. Minato was my sensei. I should have-"

"Bullshit." The fingers of her right hand, which had been trying to flash through the handsigns she'd just been taught, clenched convulsively. Her neck was so stiff that it hurt a little. "I doubt you were in any state to take in two infants. Besides, I can't imagine thinking of you as a father figure." He recoiled, but she didn't feel guilty. "You're my mentor and probably my best friend." The touchy-feely admission was a little embarrassing, so she closed her eyes entirely. "It's between you and Naruto, and I just don't think he has the appropriate sass for the role."

He snorted. But he didn't say anything else, be it a refutation or a continuation of his pity party, so she counted it as a victory.

It was surprisingly easy to fall back into their old patterns of behavior, which would have been nice if Aiko hadn't been attempting to alter her own actions. She was probably too old to cling off of him now, and it would only encourage her silly infatuation. So she maintained a little more distance than she would have only three months ago, but he didn't comment.

They only stayed in the training field for another hour. She wasn't exactly a novice with solid chakra manifestations, but this one ate a shocking amount of her chakra. As she worked she was becoming a little more efficient, which was reassuring, but she wouldn't be whipping this one out in combat any time too soon. It wasn't the jutsu itself that was the issue. Nor was it that her reserves were low. It was her inexperience with maintaining multiple shapes at once, which only practice could rectify.

Aiko wasn't worried. If shishou thought she could master this, then she could. He wasn't one to overestimate anyone's abilities.

"You can't teach a cat fire ninjutsu," Anko said firmly. She didn't draw the line often, but this seemed like a good place to do so.

Karin just scoffed, "Hater," under her breath, but Hinata looked up from her attempt to manipulate little paws through approximations of hand signs and calmly uttered, "That's what you keep saying, but I'm not convinced."

"Why else would Naruto be so convinced Smaug is a dragon?" Karin added practically. "Maybe Smaug is a fire-natured cat."

Anko rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever, do what you want." She pointedly edged far away from the cat experiment and worked her way to the kitchen. Hinata was the only person that damn animal seemed to tolerate, and she wasn't interested in bleeding from her face. (Smaug always went for the eyes or throat). She dropped her bag on the floor as she went, and yanked open the fridge to contemplatively frown inside. Triumphantly, she withdrew a container of leftovers, peeled the lid up to sniff it, and then asked, "D'you think Aiko would notice if I took these blanched vegetables?"

"Probably," Aiko drawled, leaning against the counter and eying Anko's back.

The older girl jumped a bit and hit her head on a shelf, cursing. "Don't fucking sneak up on me, bitch!"

Aiko huffed in amusement, digging around the fruit bowl for an apple. She just wasn't seeing one, though. Maybe she'd had the last one yesterday? "It's my house. I can sneak if I want to."

"That's no excuse," Anko snapped, cradling her head and letting the fridge shut with a bang.

"Oh, lay off it," Karin sighed, wandering in to poke around sadly at the empty cookie jar. "Hey, Aiko, you love me, right? Since you're so nice, would you-"

"'So nice'? Is that the best you can do?" She raised an eyebrow at her cousin skeptically. "That's pretty weak flattery. Maybe you should say something about my impeccable style, or my awesome hair day, or-"

"I'm an honest girl, and I don't want cookies that badly," Karin shot back with a smirk. "I would never undermine my integrity for food." Unseen, Anko (intrepid fridge looter that she was) flipped Karin off. Bored, Karin dropped the lid with a clatter that made Aiko wince, but at least it didn't crack either the jar or lid. "I guess it doesn't matter. We need to go."

"Anko. You didn't plan for lunch, then?" When Anko shook her head with a pathetic pout, Aiko sighed with faux irritation. "Just take my bento then, you utter barbarian. I'll go out for lunch. When are you guys going to be back?"

Hinata meandered in, snatching the blue bento out of Anko's greedy claws and dutifully packing it away with hers and Karin's boxes in a knapsack. "Tomorrow morning, if all goes as planned."

"Alright, I'll probably still be here then."

The house emptied, but Aiko wandered aimlessly from room to room, feeling restless and strange. She'd been asked not to work any further on Sen Tsurara without supervision, and shishou was out on another mission above her skill level. Yamato was probably with him, but she didn't have an idea as to who his third teammate would be.

'I bet Sasuke's around,' she mused. 'I haven't seen him in forever. Maybe we could do lunch and catch up?'

Since he had begun his specialization, Sasuke had been entirely confined to the village. Oddly enough, he didn't seem resentful. That probably meant his training was going very well—he liked seeing visible improvement. Off hand, she couldn't think of anything else that would mitigate the irritation of not getting any chance to stretch his legs and get in real fights.

Although she was still a little achy from her workout late last night, Aiko felt much more optimistic about her day when she had something of a plan.

It only took an instant for her to realize that she didn't envy her housemates who would be sleeping outside that night. Even as she opened the door, Aiko had to cringe away from the biting wind. She slammed it immediately and walked right back into the house to change clothes.

Pulling a long-sleeved blue shirt much like her shishou's out of her closet, she had to freeze and giggle hysterically at the thought of how miserable Karin must be in her shorts. There was no way that Anko would let her go back for a change just because she hadn't planned well (never mind that Anko was a terrible planner as well). Just because it amused her, she changed out of her own shorts and pulled on a short white skirt over blue leggings instead of wearing pants like a responsible, grown-up kunoichi would. She completed the outfit with shoes that had been a gag gift (at least, she hoped it wasn't a sign that his taste in fashion had gotten even sillier) that Naruto had mailed to her from a city she'd never even heard of. They were shaped something like Mary Janes and appeared to be white patent leather… with a smiling cat face in black stitching on the toe area.

'These are fucking awesome', she had decided when she'd opened the package.

Karin hadn't seemed to agree, but it wasn't Aiko's fault that the other redhead had no taste. It was a shame, but there it was.

Lunch with Sasuke didn't work out—when she stopped by the hospital to try to find him, she was told he was with a patient and couldn't be disturbed. So she asked that he be told that she had stopped by, but didn't really hold much faith that he would get back to her in time. It was ten in the morning already at that point, after all. Bored and a bit lonely, she decided to get the unpleasant task of some clothes shopping out of the way, while Karin was safely out of the village and unable to nitpick. She didn't feel like she was getting fat or had put on weight, but her clothes weren't fitting like they used to. Even the skirt she was wearing at the moment was a little too snug to really provide the freedom of movement she needed.

Looking in the mirror in the changing room, she felt a little more daring than she had the last time she had gone clothes shopping. That had been when she was twelve… The thought brought her the unpleasant realization that she hadn't had a growth spurt in a very long time.

Regardless, now that she was finally old enough—technically a legal adult, by Konoha's standards even though fourteen seemed frightfully young to her—she was willing to get slightly more risqué with her leisure wear, if not her mission clothing.

As Konoha was much more prone to small, specific stores run by families instead of large department stores, that meant quite a few trips around town that loaded her down with a good forty pounds of bags. Staggering slightly, not from the weight but from the unwieldiness of her load, Aiko set off to drop her new things off at home—and startled when an irritated looking Yamanaka grabbed her shoulder from behind.

"How rude!" Ino sniffed, looking at her purple-painted nails. "You didn't come to tell me about how your date went, after I slaved over getting you ready."

Aiko blinked, mildly confused. 'Slaved? She brought over something she already owned and put my hair in a bun with a fabric flower. Maybe this is more of that ettiquite I missed out on?'

"I'm sorry," she apologized, trying to rearrange her bags to better see the road she was accidentally blocking. Shikamaru, Asuma, and Chouji came up the road in the direction Ino must have come from, wearing varying expressions of boredom and irritation.

"Ino, let the poor girl go home," Asuma drawled through a cigarette. Ino blushed, but didn't back off.

"Yes, weren't we going somewhere?" Chouji said pointedly, glaring at his kunoichi comrade.

Shikamaru seemed to have a sudden idea. At least, the suddenly wicked gleam in his eye indicated that it was a good one. But when he finally voiced it, it sounded surprisingly tame. "Why don't you just invite her along, so we can get going?"

Ino scowled at him, but it seemed to be more out of habit than anything. "Fine." She snatched most of the bags off of Aiko's arms despite her protestations—and then shoved them at Shikamaru and Chouji while Asuma snickered, giving Aiko a conspiratorial wink she didn't understand. "Look alive, boys, you weren't seriously going to let a lady carry all this?" She peeked inside one, and let a sly smile creep across her face. "You went clothes shopping all on your own? I'm so proud."

"I usually go shopping on my own," Aiko said dryly. "I don't particularly appreciate the implication that I'm incapable of dressing myself. I'm a big girl. I tie my own sandals and everything."

Chouji blinked and looked down at her definitely unfastened shoes with a vaguely perplexed expression. There wasn't anything to tie. They were slip-ons. He opened his mouth—and then Asuma slapped a palm over it. Ino didn't notice when he leaned over and muttered, "It's best not to get involved," and then gave him a commiserating pat on the back.

They fell to the back of the group, partly because they were lazy and partly because it was safest to be out of Ino's direct line of vision. As soon as there was enough distance, Chouji elbowed his friend and muttered, "What's going on?"

Shikamaru snorted, warily eying Ino as if to gauge the distance before he dared speak up. "Isn't it obvious?" he grouched. "Ino is feeling territorial and jealous, now that it's sunk in that her friend would rather spend time with another girl. She doesn't want to date Aiko and she'd turn her down if she was asked on a date, but she doesn't like that Aiko would pick someone else over her. She's convinced herself that since she's the most desirable," (here he rolled his eyes), "that it doesn't make sense that anyone wouldn't want to date her."

They hadn't noticed that Asuma had lingered close enough to hear them until he gave a low chuckle. "That's a pretty good analysis, Shikamaru, but you missed something."

He looked distinctly put out at the gentle admonition. "That so," Shikamaru said flatly.

"Yes." Asuma replied, looking amused by the whole thing. "But I think I'll let you figure the rest out on your own. You're missing something pretty major about what this says about Ino's personality."

"She's bossy, territorial, and passive aggressive?" Chouji offered up just a little too loudly. Shikamaru reflexively flinched, until he realized that Ino had somehow been too distracted by whatever she was babbling to hear the insult as she usually did with those terrifying bat-ears of hers. (Even if Chouji hadn't meant to be insulting at all, she would hit him senseless when she caught him).

"We already knew all that. No, that's not what he meant. She's highly insecure," Shikamaru said flatly, giving his friend a scathing look for nearly setting Ino's massive temper on them. Chouji gave a cringing, apologetic grin in response. "None of this would be necessary if she didn't put such high importance on her physical desirability, but she's also feeling threatened by one of her few female friends spending time with another girl. Ino subconsciously thinks that Aiko is going to leave her like Sakura did, back in the Academy."

Asuma nodded. "Got it in one, so be nice to your teammate, alright boys?"

"Tch," Shikamaru deflected, turning his face away. He wouldn't have teased her about it- not much, anyway. They were friends, after all, even if she was troublesome.

"I'm glad we have this opportunity to talk, Kakashi."

Sunlight pinged off of perfectly straight teeth, and Yamato cringed a little. There was just something about being around Gai that made him feel like he had a massive hangover—sunlight and noises suddenly became painful.

It didn't make any sense, but there it was.

Kakashi yawned, letting his eye close blearily. Maybe Gai would get bored and go chase butterflies if he didn't play into his hands?

As pleasant as the thought was, it just wasn't to be.

"What do you think about the recent development inextricably bonding our teams?" Gai grinned, giving a confusing little chuckle that Kakashi refused to think too deeply about along with his 'thumbs-up'.

Yamato twitched. 'This is not inextricable bonding,' he grumped. 'It's one mission, turtle man.'

Kakashi seemed to be having similar thoughts. Instead of replying verbally, he just raised one eyebrow and pulled out a book. He actually startled (rather like when someone steps on a cat's tail, Yamato mused) at Gai's booming laugh—that was traditionally where Gai would mope about being dismissed. Was something going on?

"Oh, my rival, you are too cool," Gai wiped away an inexplicable tear. "How hip of you, to pretend that you did not know that your young apprentice has fallen for my student's charms!"

There was a bizarre sound when Yamato simultaneously wheezed in surprise and forgot how to walk, ending up face-down in the dirt. Kakashi couldn't blame him. He was trying to remember…

'Did Aiko sustain any head injuries while we were gone?' Try as he might, he couldn't think of any potential cause for such a radical change in personality. 'Is she ill? Has she been dared to do something by that Yamanaka girl?'

"What."

The flat response seemed to delight Gai, who gave a wicked smile. "Why, if I didn't know better, I'd say that she hadn't told you that she was going to ask the lovely Tenten out on a romantic encounter!"

Time and space tilted back onto their usual axis, and Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief. Right. It wasn't that strange Lee boy, or even the terrifyingly unstable Hyuuga. It was the perfectly normal… girl…

'Huh. I never would have guessed.' Kakashi shrugged. Then he wondered if he knew of any other kunoichi couples. That was much more common in the civilian sector (where relationships were much less likely to be influenced by clan politics requiring that people reproduce at a young age to replace them when they inevitably died at age 22 or so. It was sort of the vicious cycle of shinobi life.)

Then again, Aiko didn't really have a clan-influenced upbringing, and as far as he knew Gai's student didn't come from a ninja family. So they might not even be approaching their relationship from the generally accepted shinobi practice of indulging in same-sex relationships temporarily before they eventually got down to the clan mandated reproduction.

He stopped in his tracks, suddenly terrified that his student had gotten into a serious relationship. But... but… Wasn't Aiko too young to be mooning over older girls? 'If she tries to come to me for romantic advice, I will request deportment to Suna,' he decided darkly.

With that, he happily dismissed the train of thought. He'd already decided Aiko was a big girl. She could take care of herself. Unless she asked him for help, he'd assume that she would be able beat the older girl into next week on her own if this 'Tenten' got too fresh.

"You've got to be kidding me," Suigetsu whined under his voice, flipping through the latest edition of the bingo book. Reading it in the dark of the sketchy bar he was in was hard enough that he had to check a second time ot be certain he hadn't just missed a page. The first sword he wanted to acquire should have been easy to find- Zabuza surely merited a fucking page in the bingo book. He'd been locked up in Orochimaru's shithole for a while, but not that long.

Of course, Suigetsu hadn't investigated the political state of his old country. All he had to know was that there would be no point to returning unless it was the only way to complete his goal, and he'd rather try to kill them all than kowtow to the fuckers who had been ruining his childhood home when he'd left. Hence why he had gotten the hell out of there before the Mist backup team those Konoha and Sand nin were expecting had showed up. Depending on who was in charge, he would either have been dragged back into their forces or would have had to cut his way out. He hadn't liked his chances at that- he wasn't an idiot. Suigetsu recognized Hatake Kakashi when he saw him, and didn't particularly want to fight a lightning user without a damn good blade. Besides, it would have been a damn shame to have to cut up those two girls.

He felt himself smirk at the thought, trying not to get too excited at the thought of cutting up such pretty skin. It would be fun in the short term, but he'd rather flirt with hot girls than dismember them, even if the blonde was a fucking bitch with stupid weaponry. At least the redhead had a sword, plain as it was. Suigetsu shivered at the memory- he'd been locked up for long enough that immediately running into a pretty bitch cutting people up had probably softened him to her more than was wise or deserved. She wasn't that good, after all. Nothing on him or his goals for the best group of swords there had ever been.

"Hey, you." He slammed his fist irritably on the countertop, catching the barkeep's attention. The woman rolled her eyes, but meandered over.

"What the hell now, brat? That's the latest edition."

"Can't be," Suigetsu sneered. "Where the hell is Momochi Zabuza?"

She snorted, thoroughly unimpressed. "You fuckin' kidding me? He's been dead for a while. Some Konoha team ganked him.

'What,' Suigetsu thought flatly. 'Is she fucking serious? I was just with a Konoha team last week. If I'd known... I could have pretended to be with the current administration and gotten some information.'

"Realllly," he drawled out, looking unimpressed. "Can you get a little more specific?"

"It'll cost you." She grinned at him, shamelessly displaying a missing tooth. Then she froze, wide-eyed at the sword kissing her throat.

"Or," Suigetsu purred into her ear, from his new position behind her. He was thoroughly fed up with this bullshit. "You could just tell me, because we're such good friends."

Stiffly, she leaned back as best as she could, trying not to move too much when she muttered, "Fine, asshole. Let me go, so I can show you." He withdrew enough to let her move around, but kept his sword out and his eyes on her when she grudgingly rifled through the more unofficial bingo book entries. That in itself told him something- whoever he was looking for wasn't a missing nin, and the country who had blacklisted them wasn't technically at war with their home village. That was the only reason they'd be in the unofficial bookings. Someone wanted them dead, but didn't want to be liable for it.

The bartender ripped the page clean out of her book and shoved it at him, never minding that it crinkled. "Enjoy. Now get the hell out of this establishment."

"Gladly," Suigetsu muttered, sheathing his blade and snatching the bounty. He didn't even look at it until he got outside in the fresh air.

At that point, he cursed up a storm.

'Well, at least I know the bitch's name now,' he thought darkly. 'Definitely should have claimed to be allies.'

She looked younger on paper, but the redhead with the sword was unmistakable. Picture must have been old. Squinting, he decided it must have been her headshot after Academy graduation, which meant she didn't take a lot of high-profile missions. If she did, there would be more recent unofficial shots of her. That probably pegged her as some sort of specialist that seldom worked with clients, like an assassin or a tracker.

"Which means that tracking her down without infiltrating Konoha will be a pain," he muttered. Maybe it would be more worth his time to investigate what the hell was going on in Mist, first.

#vapors #uzumaki aiko #electrasev5n #ninja daily #fanfiction #naruto fanfiction

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