#kaipler 22b

[kaipler-22b]

Love my dinosaur shoes

[kaipler-22b]

Me

[1nv1s1bl3-r41ndr0p5]

I'm making a tag chain game thingy cuz I'm bored and I want the tea

who was your gay awakening?

mine was Ianto Jones (Gareth David-Lloyd) from Torchwood. it was 2019. I was OBSESSED with Torchwood CoE, and despite having watched the entirety of Torchwood that series will always be my favourite. And of course, my least favourite (iykyk, think about who I've been talking about)

tagging:

@loulooser @kaipler-22b @junis-soliloquies @sunshinerosefromthedead @mossy-introvert @heeblybeebly

[mossy-introvert]

ALT INTRO POST:

hi, I'm Mossy. I'm a minor so no creeps please.

About my blog:

I go by Mossy online not irl

I'm transmasc (ftm) and panromantic

On the ace spectrum - possibly demisexual/graysexual???

Pronouns: he/him

I struggle with my mental health but I have a separate blog for vents which is: @mossy-vents

My mealspo reblogs blog is: @low-cal-mealspo-reblogs

My music blog is: @mossymusic-rambles

Interests:

Drumming

Books

Gilmore Girls

Crochet

Cats

Music

David Tennant

David Bowie

Mcfly

Osemanverse

Marauders

Tvd

Rain

Early 2000s spooky movies

Forests

Space

Halloween

Dislikes:

Homophobes + transphobes

Some textures

Mental health

People

Awkward situations

Loud noises

Speaking publicly

Rishi Sunak

School

Maths

People seeing you differently after finding out you sh

Relapses

Unsuccessful attempts (personal)

Gender dysphoria

Large crowds of people

Some of my closest mutuals:

@1nv1s1bl3-r41ndr0p5

@kaipler-22b

@s1l4s-w0rsh1ps-t0m4t03s

Tags:

#Mossy's vents

#Mossy's blog

Creds to @raccoon-paw-dividerz + @strangergraphics for the dividers!

Userboxes: NOT by me

[kaipler-22b]

ZIGGY PLAYED GUITAR

(if ykyk c:)

[kaipler-22b]

Fucking love this song and David Bowie 🕺🏼👨🏼‍🎤

[kaipler-22b]

Vocal stims are so silly and fun

MEOW

[kaipler-22b]

I love my boyfriend.

@1nv1s1bl3-r41ndr0p5

He's the best.

[kaipler-22b]

I was David Bowie!!!

[kaipler-22b]

I wrote a story thing?

Anyways it's about me being trans and what it's like / has been like - only the positives because I couldn't be bothered to add all my issues into it anyway it's under the cut it anyone wants to read it. It's quite long so I'm sorry about that If anyone does want to.

The wrong body.

The day was young, as was I. I never felt the same as everyone else, like I was an alien in disguise. Pretending to be someone I wasn't. Growing up forced into wearing dresses and skirts and doing 'girly' things just like every other girl my age. Except I hated it every little bit, I wasn't a girl but I wasnt fully aware of it yet, it never felt like truly me. I didn't properly know who I was. I felt so lost amongst other girls my age. I was so different compared to everyone, nobody felt the same way as I did nobody even understood not even myself. Whenever I played with my friends on that school playground no matter what I had to play the male character in it. Nobody realised why again I was so clueless.

I grew older day by day, still so confused on why I was feeling this way, why I wasn't like the other girls my age, why I didn't enjoy dressing like a girl, why I didn't like girly things. I started pretending to like everything everyone around me liked because I didn't know what else to do. Forcing myself to be someone I wasn't but I wasn't aware that it wasn't me. For years I hid who I was because I just didn't know. I didn't know what was 'wrong' with me.

Slowly I started to dress slightly more masculine. Always in hoodies and jeans. Only thing I felt slightly better in. Everyone around me dismissed it so I did too. In everyone's eyes I was just a tomboy and that it was a little phase that would only last a month or so, I believed that too because that was what everyone was saying. It felt so right being in more masculine clothing but I didn't think anything of it. It was like that for ages. Until everything started to feel wrong. Like there was something different about me and everything about me was wrong, especially my body.

After time I started to figure out that I wasn't like all the other girls my age, at all. I was so far from like them. I was the odd one out. All my friends loved everything remotely feminine, and then there's me repulsed by it all. I didn't understand why I was feeling this way. Everything started to change. I still had my long hair but always covering it with caps, occasionally using my ponytail to make it look like i had a frount fringe then wearing a cap to make it look like I had short 'boyish' hair. I wanted to look more like a boy but couldn't figure out why. Was there something wrong with me? I didnt know.

It all started progressively making more sense. I started showing a close friend at the time that I would make it so my hair looked like a boy and went by the name Sam when we where playing at our break and lunchtimes. It felt almost freeing. But everyone thought I was weird because of it. I always hid myself away from people because I was constantly judged for it, I was only young. But everything started to feel so wrong. Like I wasn't supposed to be born a girl, I started to ponder perhaps I was supposed to be a boy since I felt so much happier presenting as one.

I still wasnt sure, I didn't understand anything. Until I gained a small understanding. It fit me so well, described me perfectly. I figured out I was transgender. I was ment to be a boy all along. I didn't tell anyone for awhile because I was terrified for their reactions and how everyone would see me. I hid the real me away from everyone. I wasn't sure what to do or why I felt that way. I always thought you had to be either a girl or a boy but clearly not.

There's so much more to just being a girl or a boy.

After years of hiding away from everyone, I finally built the courage up to come out as transgender to my friends and family. After the long awaited time of not feeling like me. I started to explore names and pronouns. It felt like me. I got my first gender affirming hair cut. It felt so amazing, like I was letting the real me show himself after hiding behind a mask the whole time. I landed on the name Kai not long after looking at names that might suit me. Kai. I loved that name. It felt like my true self. I started going by They/them pronouns at first, but slowly changed them to he/they and then finally what they are now, He/him. Over the past 3+ years I've started to discover who I really am. And who I have always been, it was just buried underneath for awhile.

Everything is so different now. Everyone in school knows me as Kai and it's amazing. It feels so peaceful being known as Kai. I may not have many friends, if any at all but that's fine. I don't need them. I finally learnt who I really am. Even though I still feel like I'm in the wrong body I'm slightly happier to be presenting and passing as a male. Just the other day I was asked if I was my little sisters older brother which I got to reply yes too because I am her older brother and I always have been even if I didn't understand that at first. I hate the way my body looks because I feel it still looks so feminine but some days are better than others and hopefully soon I can fulfil my dreams of medically transitioning, also considering I'm ** next year... Crazy right?

After years of thinking there was something wrong with me, I came to the realisation there isn't anything 'wrong' with me I was just born in the wrong body and now I am slowly changing that step by step so it becomes the correct body. My body. My true self. The person I have always been. Kai Pritchard, that is me.

[kaipler-22b]

Forgot how much I love snow patrol icl

[kaipler-22b]

Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate!

[kaipler-22b]

I CAME FIRST IN MY SCHOOL BAKE OFF!!!!!

[kaipler-22b]

Ear defenders came!!! The world is so quiet sgkshdjdg yes

[kaipler-22b]

Your taking the piss. I went to sit on my bed then my knee completely dislocates again and I'm in pain yet I still have to go to school while my sister says she doesn't feel well and and isn't going. Fuck this.

It fucking hurts so much.

[kaipler-22b]

Exactly 24hrs without you. I don't know what to do. I miss you. It doesn't feel real at all, I honestly wish it wasn't. I wish I could see you. Hopefully you and grandad are together again.