#kai CRAZY for saying this. we know you gay but like chill with it holy FUCK

[maukiki1-but-cringefail]

This pictyre iso fucdkign funny these are having their mega ultra super gay moment like its comical how fucking gay thsi is look at takaos face imgoing crazy beo but thats not why its funny its funny cuz these two beign homos n max is just there in the middle third wheeling looking w his big ass eyes like “do your thing”😭😭helop me “now you may kiss the bride” lookin ass MAHSBHSHGWHTFWYWFXVHSJWOEOİWOJWOEJPEIHIPDĞPREİWNKSŞMWVEVYEĞWPをにわふしにれふきちをへちう

[sanctimoniousscrawlings]

Prompt#1: Lull of the Forest (part 2)

 The overwhelming pressure I typically feel inside the house appears to be gone and I’m not ready to leave this sanctuary so I roll onto my side to start scratching my fox friend behind the ears. The movement sends a couple flower petals floating down from my head. I reach up to find I circlet of entwined flowers perched on my crown.  “Strange.” I intone sleepily. But then what it this forest isn’t? “I should probably give you a name instead of referring to you as ‘the fox’ all the time, huh? What do you think of... Fen?”  The fox begins licking my hand in response and I take that as acquiescence. At this point, I notice a note on the nightstand, held there by my phone. I pick up the phone to see a message from Demeter saying that she would be staying the night in town and that she’d be back in the afternoon. I text a quick response back and grab the note.  In a tall, narrow, curving script it reads, “Keep the cloak for protection. Darkness dwells deep within your abode- it would be wise to make this space your own. May the light of the goddess help you find your way.”  Curiouser and curiouser. I feel as though whoever wrote the note is judging me for not erasing Dylan’s presence from the house.  “I’m not sure how to make it mine,” I murmur. I haven’t felt like myself in years. There are times where I don’t even feel like a person anymore. I get up and leave the room to wander the house in consideration, leaving the door open for Fen.

 What would I even do to make this place mine? I have my desk. I have my studio. Buying new furniture would be a waste- I actually like a lot of what was left behind. I could fill the place with books the way Demeter has with plants. Maybe I could take on some form of crafting.   I could knit a couch cozy or something. On second thought I’ve always thought they were hideous. Ships in bottles? Challenging, requiring more focus than I’m capable of, plus what will my aesthetic be then? A pirate? I’m going to dress like a pirate now. A ship’s wheel on the wall. My bed needs a mast.  Wait, how would that even work. “This is so stupid,” I mutter, clutching the sides of my head. While I would not mind the whole pirate chic look, that’s not me. I’ve never even seen the ocean.  I make my way to the studio at the back of the house. The sliding door leading into my space is stuck shut and icy to the touch. What the hell? I decide to try heading outside in order to go around but the front door won’t open either. I can’t breathe.  Panic digs its talons deep into my chest. The pressure in the air is back and stronger than ever.  “That’s it. I’m burning this fucking house to the ground.”  The aura of the house is so palpable and I feel as though it’s laughing at me. “You wanna play chicken with me, fucker?” I rush to the kitchen and start flinging paper towels everywhere. I know I need something more substantial but I’m at a loss. I make to light an entire roll with the stove but it won’t light.  “You think this will stop me?” I cackle, completely mad, and pull a lighter out of my pocket. “I’m a stoner. You think I didn’t come prepared to fucking party?” I’m screaming at the house, only mildly aware of how insane I’m acting.  I hear the sliding door slam open and am shaken from my state of mind. I head back to my studio to find the door open. I freeze when I see the canvas in the middle of the room.  In the same sloppy handwriting as Dylan’s letter, I see in bold crimson paint: Man. You go zero to a hundred real quick.  “Dylan?” No. Why me?  The brush floats up from the pallette and begins to scrawl. The one and only. I’m glad you came, Riley.  To say I immensely regret not burning the house down is a massive understatement of the grossest proportions. The lighter is still in my hand. It’s not too late. “Absolutely not. No. This is not something I can allow.” I did not sign up for this bullshit.  The brush makes it’s way over to the paint and I back hand it out of the air before kicking the easel to the ground and stomping on the canvas.  “Leave. Leave, now. I’m still ready to light this whole sucker up.”  A pencil starts scribbling furiously on top of the sheathe of papers I keep on my desk. I don’t bother looking. I go back to my room, grab my phone, my wallet, the cloak, the fox, and my backpack before heading back to the studio. The pencil starts writing again but I continue to ignore it. Fen is making some seriously unhappy noises and baring it’s teeth in the direction of my desk. I throw open the back doors and leave, straight for the forest.  I stop at the treeline to send Demeter a text.  Me: Dylan has not left the building .  D: what  Me: He’s. Fucking. HauNtiNG. OUR. HOUSE.  Me: I’m heading out. Let me know when you’re coming home and I’ll return.  D: Where are you going?  Me: The woods. Which, and I never thought I would say this, are safer. I’ve got Fen with me.  D: Who is Fen  D: And don’t go into the woods.  Me: This chill little fox that’s been hanging with me when I’m working on stuff outside. I think They sent her to watch over us. She’s curled up in my hood rn. So. Cute.  D: You’re already in the forest, aren’t you  Me: Of course! =D  D: Of course.

 I can practically feel her roll her eyes through the text.

 D: Just... Don’t do anything stupid  Me: That reminds me. There are papel towels all over the kitchen floor. I’ll take care of it when I get home.  D: I know I’m gonna regret asking how that happened but here I am. Please tell me it was a mischeivous vulpine.  Me: That asshole tried to trap me in the house so I was gonna burn it to the ground. Dylan caved as soon as I pulled out my lighter.  D: I wanna say that’s unreasonable and you know better but honestly  D: I don’t think I can  D: Don’t burn the forest down if you see something scary  Me: The only thing I’m lighting up is my holy green  Me: Anything scary is getting offered a joint. Maybe the things out here will have mercy on me if they’re high.

 Demeter sent me another text but I don’t read it- I’ve found my way into a meadow and in its center is the basket I’ve been bringing gifts out with. I move the cloth out of the way to find the basket full of all sorts of strange thing. At the top is a note with the same elegant handwriting as what was on my desk.  Wear me.  O...kay.... I move the note aside to find a large orange crystal in a filligreed silver holster attached to a large leather loop. Beneath that is... A witch’s hat?  It’s forest green velvet, matching the silk of the cloak I’m wearing. It’s quite a bit more squat than the costume hats I’ve seen and there’s a rust coloured feather sticking out of a matching band around the base of the hat.  “Why not.” I put the crystal necklace on followed by the hat. “I have never felt so bad ass and so ridiculous at the same time.”  Fen yawns in my hood.  I pick up the basket and pull the rest out. More crytals that look like they could be exchanged with the one on my necklace. Two packages wrapped in brown paper containing a mysterious book with blank pages and... a deck of tarot cards? What, are They new age hippies? A green velvet satchel I hadn’t noticed before was still at the bottom. I pulled it open to see rune stones held within and then pull the drawstrings to seal it again. “Yep. The forest folk terrorizing the town are really just new age hippies. Now this is the gay agenda I always wanted.”  I check the text Demi sent me.

 D: Who knows? You do seem to have a penchant for getting what you want when you focus. I mean, you just played chicken with a haunted house and it blinked first. Then again, maybe he didn’t think a suicide pact was a romantic enough first date.  Me: If I had died I would have turned the tables. Haunt him and kick his scrawny etherial ass. But listen, you’ll never guess what I found in the forest  D: Oh god  Me: I’ve been bringing food out in a basket and leaving it near the treeline. After a while it started returning with goodies in it. I just found it out in the forest and- hold on.

 I take a selfie and then a picture of the rest of the trinkets before putting them away in my bag and attactching the basket to it. I send the pictures and then keep moving while I wait for her response.

 D: You aren’t the new age witch they deserve but the one they need right now  Me: Crazy right? Who would have thought They would be a bunch of hippies, killing off the conservative small town in a ploy to improve society as a whole-the gay liberal agenda I do deserve and definitely need right now.  Me: Maybe they’re recruiting freedom fighters. I’ll go bitch slap some gun nuts in the face for fun, let alone a revolution. I wonder how they feel about guillotines.  D: I’m always down for nazi punching and lopping off the heads of the bourgeoisie  Me: Is it bad that I’m digging this look? It just feels so right.  D: I wonder if they provide essential oils with the enlistment package; I don’t care for infusers but I’ve kinda always wanted to try making bath bombs since discovering the wonders of Lush

 We continue our conversation as I wander further north. I feel more and more sets of curious eyes on me as I trek but sense no animosity. Eventually I reach a grassy knoll and sprawl out on it, staring up at the clouds as they drift by. Fen wanders off and I, for the third day in a row, fall asleep in a place that should terrify me. All manner of strange creature fills my dreams, but they are pleasant. In my final dream, the earth swallows me. I sink down into it, throwing down roots to grow into something more. Voices surround me but I am not concerned for I am safe in the earth’s embrace.

 “He’s waking up.” Is the last thing I want to hear when I awaken, and anxiety crawls up my spine like a particularly large centipede, digging it’s many feet into my flesh.  The first thing I see is a man leaning in way too close with bright green eyes, a cheerful expression, and a fiery halo of messy hair.  “You know, for someone from the village, you sure feel comfortable falling asleep in the forest. This makes the third time I’ve had to carry you off to safety, Riley.” He was jovial and it was a little unnerving. “Not all of us are nice.”  “I believe you have nice and kind mistaken, young man.” A woman with raven black hair and crimson eyes placed a slender hand on the man’s shoulder, pulling him out of the space he was encroaching on.  I breathed a little easier now that my space wasn’t being invaded.  “Who are you guys? Where am I? Wait. Are those... Fox ears?”  “In order: we are fae of the Seelie court. I am Queen Sylairia and this is-” The man cut her off before she could finish.  “You already know my name. These are definitely fox ears.”  “Fen?” I ask, bewildered.  “It’s Fenrir, but you were close enough.”  “Wait, Fenrir, like the wolf in norse mythology?” I called him Fen because it was short for Fennec.  “That’s the one.”  “But you’re a faerie that shapeshifts into a fox.”  “I fail to see the problem.”  Sylairia rolls her eyes and continues, “You are in the royal quarters of our domain, more specifically Fenrir’s room- and yes. Those are indeed fox ears as Fenrir just said. I am glad to see you are so very observant.” She says drily. “So, you are the changeling that caught my son’s eye.” She looks me over disapprovingly. “Spending so long away from left you with something to be desired. Several things, you are lacking in, in fact. Tell me, boy. Who is your mother?”  My face must have looked like a giant question mark because Fenrir spoke up. “I don’t think he knows, mother.”  “You at least knew you were not human, correct?”  “Uhh....”  The queen lets out an exasperated sigh, turns, and walks out muttering under her breath. “That boy... there’s no accounting for taste.”  “So, uhh. Question.” I say tentatively.  “Shoot.”  “Did you bring me this stuff?” I sit up, lifting my arms to gesture at myself.  “Yeah. The cloak is spelled with protections. The crystals grant various boons as well.”  “And the hat?”  “+ 5 to charisma?”  “What.”  “I just thought it was a good lynch pin for the whole ensemble- aaand I was right. Consider me spellbound.” He grins at me and there’s a wicked glint in his eye.  I throw the hat at his face, too flustered to respond, and he laughs as he’s putting it back on my head.  “The sexy warlock look suits you- though I would switch out the clothes under it for something more...” he pauses, trying to think. “I retract that. I’d switch it out for something less.” He says with a wink.  “Do I need to throw something heavier at you?”  The look on his face says he’s about to dig his grave deeper but he reconsiders and changes the subject, avoiding peril. “You know, I sense strong magic in you.”  “This better not be another pick up line.”  “Ooh, I just came up with a good one- but no. Come with me, and bring your bag.”  I eye him suspiciously.  “I already have you in my bed; this isn’t another flirtation.”  “Fair point.” I do as he asked and follow him out. “Where are we going?”  “I’m taking you to High Witch Magdelena. She’s the best teacher one could hope for.”  I’m about to ask more questions when my phone pings.

 D: You better still be in one piece.  Me: I’m alright. Boy do I have a story for you  D: I’m about to head back to the house. Meet there?  Me: Not yet. I might be in faerie hq rn  D: Riley, get out of there.  Me: Too late, getting magic lessons from a seelie high witch brb  D: Wait, Seelie? Are you sure?  Me: Faeries can’t lie, right?  D: ...  D: True. Do you think they’re gonna help you exorcise our douchebag of a ghost?  Me: I hope so. They seem to think I’m a changeling. Either way, I think you should stay away from the house for now. I guess I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back?  D: Be careful.  Me: Nah, I think I’ll just bumrush this whole situation. Maybe light the place on fire.  D: I know you think you’re joking but I’m betting you end up lighting it on fire  Me: I didn’t light the house on fire.  D: That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of you failing to set something ablaze  Me: first of all how dare

 I put my phone away just in time for us to stop at a large, ornate doorway.  “Wait out here, I’m going in to talk to her first.” Riley says, cracking the door open and disappearing through it.

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