#kagami taiga angst

[tsuutarr]

Pairing: Tokyo Debunker Ghouls x Reader

Word count: 12K

Content: angst, pining, loss

Summary:

Your potential death due to your curse was no secret, yet there was still a promise of time – time for you (and those who’re willing to help you) to find a cure, a solution to your plight. 

No one expected your death to come so suddenly.

(Or, a look into how the Darkwick Academy ghouls may react to your passing)

You’re no stranger to tragedy, but your death still comes as a surprise to you. Perhaps you should’ve expected it, what with your luck continuing its downward spiral to misfortune. Maybe you should’ve expected someone who despised you to take matters into their own hands, deciding to rid this world of your existence before you became a disastrous anomaly – before you even had a chance to fight your fate.

Regret upon regret builds a castle inside your bleeding body. Apologies, confessions – all of them slowly die in your throat.

You should’ve expected it all.

But you didn’t.

So now you lay, your blood a perfect canvas to frame your loss of life.

Your sage’s ring glows dimly on your finger.

.

.

.

“The Honor Student has passed away,” the Masterpiece Newscasters proclaim, their monotone voice ringing clearly throughout Darkwick Academy. “The culprit is yet to be found. All residents are forbidden to leave the premises until the criminal is found.”

As the Masterpiece Newscasters continue to prattle on about the false information of the Honor Student’s – your – passing, Yuri can feel a headache erupt from behind his eyelids. He’s already slept less than the recommended amount today, he doesn’t need this added stress! There’s no way you’re gone, it’s just not possible. You so bravely faced that immortal anomaly after all, so how could you be dead?

Yuri Isami is only heading to your place of residence to put these bizarre rumors to a rest.

Even when he sees your crumpled body on the floor, Yuri doesn’t believe it – you must have chosen to sleep oddly!

Even when he feels the coldness of your skin, he doesn’t believe it – you just need a blanket!

Even when he doesn’t hear your heartbeat, he doesn’t believe it – you must be acting!

No, no, he has to be realistic. You’re definitely sick. He has to help you. He has to save you! He can save you! He’s the greatest doctor, after all! He can think of so many ways to save you. He can, if you just enhance his stigma, so why don’t you do it? Yuri clutches your hand in his, hands trembling.

“Why won’t you enhance my stigma, worm?” he mumbles. “You can do at least this much, can’t you? You have the opportunity to help the great Yuri Isami! It’s an honor!”

“Yes, it’s an honor to help you,” you had said, laughing. Yuri could be quite particular about laughs, but he didn’t mind yours because there wasn’t anything patronizing about it. “You’re amazing, Yuri.”

“Hmph, well, it’s good that you know your place,” he had responded haughtily. He wishes he could’ve told you how grateful he was that you believed in him. That you were interested in him and his research. That you cared for him.

Yuri’s grip on your hand gets firmer, the coldness of your skin seeping into his. He looks at your eyes, thinking of the way your eyes would light up when he would showcase his scientific discoveries.

He looks at your lips, remembering how you’d smile so grandly at him whenever you two would talk. He remembers how you’d learn what song he was humming just to hum with him.

He looks at your hand, recalling the warmth and strength he felt when he first held it. The way your hand shook due to your own fear remains engraved in his brain – the way that you supported him despite looking like you’d fall. You’ve been able to stand so long, haven’t you? You can’t be gone now.

“Jiro!” he calls, voice cracking. This surgery needs to be a success. He can’t – he won’t – hand you over to another researcher. “Bring the Honor Student to Mortkranken! They need treatment immediately!”

At Yuri’s call, Jiro immediately reaches for you, cradling you in his arms as he lifts you up. He’s never really been one to be gentle, especially in regards to corpses. As long as the corpse is intact, is there any reason to be “gentle”? Jiro doesn’t really think so. But, even so, Jiro can’t bring himself to manhandle you, tossing you around like he would anyone else.

As soon as he saw you on the floor, he wanted to gather you in his arms and carry you back to bed. He wanted to open up his suitcase and conduct your weekly health checkup. He wanted to ensure that you weren’t dead.

Unfortunately, Jiro is cursed with objectivity and he knows – knows – that there’s no way you’re still alive. He also knows that there’s no way to bring you back. Maybe if they had found you faster. Maybe if you were a ghoul. Maybe, maybe, maybe…

But it’s too late now, isn’t it?

He thinks about how you reacted whenever you saw blood and gore. He thinks about how much you fret over him and his injuries, even though he reassures you constantly. He thinks about the warmth of your palms.

He thinks about the ridiculous care you put into everyone.

“What’s this packet? I can’t eat solids,” Jiro had stated bluntly when you passed him a box. It was pink and cutesy, decorated with ribbons.

“It’s not a solid,” you said, grinning cheekily. “Look inside!”

Jiro looked at you blankly, but still did as you instructed. Yuri was strange, but you could be quite strange, too. “...Oh.”

“It’s chocolate milk! It should hopefully be easier to eat,” you beam at him. “Happy Valentine's Day, Jiro!”

Jiro cradles you closer to his chest, like you’re made of glass. You’re so cold, your skin feeling like his. He never thought that someone who was as warm-hearted as you could ever feel so desolate. “...I told you it’d be a problem for me if you died,” he murmured, softly, as he quietly trailed behind Yuri to head to Mortkraken.

When Rui hears the news of your passing, he’s pretty sure the world just stopped moving around him. He has to hear the news several more times to really come to terms with it. It’s unfair, he thinks, it’s so unfair.

You were fighting so hard. You were working so hard.

How could that come crashing down so suddenly?

It’s not fair. You of all people should’ve been able to live a long life. You of all people should’ve been able to be happy. 

He tried so hard to stay away from you, to prevent him from accidentally killing you with his curse. You tried so hard to bring him comfort, despite the looming danger of his power. He’s flirted with plenty of people, but you’re the only person he’s ever thought he’d actually love to spend forever with. He cursed himself for those thoughts, knowing that longing for something that can’t be will only hurt him more. But there isn’t an easy end to longing.

“Sometimes, I wish I could’ve met you as a regular guy,” Rui had confided in you, one day, as the two of you sat in his bar. He swirled his wine, his cheeks slightly ruddy from the alcohol. “I guess you wouldn’t have given me the time of day if we had, though.” His laugh left his lips, hollowly bouncing around his glass as he took another sip.

“You’re drunk, Rui,” you had said, though your tone didn’t hold any malice. “...But sometimes, I wish I could’ve met you before our curses, too.”

This is why he couldn’t get over you, no matter how much he tried. This is why he couldn’t distance himself from you, no matter how much he tried. You drew him in closer and closer like a trap, and he was more than okay with being ensnared, even if he was scared of being hurt.

“Chuu!”

Rui blinked, surprised, as a cute teddy bear smooches him on the cheek.

“Sorry, you seemed distracted,” you hummed, making Rui laugh.

“Ah, yeah– yeah! Sorry about that,” he responded, “I def wasn’t trying to be.”

“I know,” you replied. “But you got to pay attention now, okay? I want you to meet someone!” You waved the teddy bear’s paw. “This is Honor Student Teddy!” Through your puppeteering, Honor Student Teddy offered Rui a hand, which Rui took with an amused look.

“You’re so cute.”

“Beep! Incorrect! The one that’s cute is Honor Student Teddy!” you said, looking away bashfully. Cute. “...So, I was thinking. Since we can’t touch, maybe we could use Honor Student Teddy as my replacement?” You grabbed Honor Student Teddy’s other hand, the one not in Rui’s grasp. “See? Doesn’t it kind of seem like we’re holding hands?”

Honor Student Teddy remains in Rui’s room, pampered and loved as it should be. As you should’ve been. A dry laugh escapes Rui. 

“...Maybe this time, we can really hold hands.”

Blearily, Lyca opens his eyes, the sound of his phone buzzing waking him up. He sees that the message is from the blonde gigolo, which initially makes him annoyed. But Lyca has good instincts – his gut feeling is telling him to pay attention. So, instead of ignoring Rui, Lyca sleepily reads Rui’s texts.

His sleep soon evaporates from his being.

“It’s a lie!” he yells, jumping out of his bed and running to his bedroom’s door. There’s no way you’re gone. There’s no way he’ll never be able to smell your sweet scent ever again. There’s no way you won’t lay down with him and gently thread your fingers through his hair. There’s no way you won’t be able to draw together again. There’s just no way. There’s no way!

But even if Lyca wants to burst out of his bedroom, following your scent to find you, he can’t open the door. He can’t open the door to confirm if you’re really gone. He doesn’t want to go downstairs to see that you’re not waiting for him. He doesn’t want to go to the balcony where you’ll no longer be able to eat with him.

Lyca doesn’t want to lose you. Opening the door to the bedroom feels like he’ll lose you. Carefully, he goes back to his bed, where the blanket from Neros and the blanket from you lay side by side.

“Lyca!” you beammed, making Lyca tilt his head. You had a sweeter scent than usual today. Something that indicated that you were quite happy.

“What’re you so egg-cited about?”

“Heh.” You gave him a big grin. It was something he’d come to like seeing, especially since so many on campus gave him a grimace. “Ta-dah!” With a flourish, you presented Lyca with a soft blanket. “I got you a gift!”

Lyca frowned, looking at the blanket in confusion. “I already got one.”

“Yeah, I know,” you responded, not at all discouraged by the bite in Lyca’s tone. “It’s an extra one! I thought it’d be nice if you could have some more blankets. You can be twice as warm and cozy now!” There was a hint of hesitation as you say your next words, “I can take it back, though. Sorry, I guess I got ahead of myself.”

“...S’okay.” Lyca took the blanket from you, feeling cozier as soon as he touched the soft fabric. It smelt like you. He liked how you smelled – in some ways, it reminded him of home.

Lyca looks at the blanket on his bed, the one that you got him. He grabs it, softly, in his palms. He remembers your encouragement when he had told you that he’d work hard so that he could live with humans. You said he could do it and when you said it, he really did feel like he could. So, you can’t be gone yet. He needs you.

With a deep inhale, Lyca snuggles the blanket that smells like you because maybe, just maybe, he’ll be able to chase you and tell you not to leave him if he memorizes your scent.

Rui’s message about your death comes as a surprise to Ed even though he knows that human lives are fleeting – they’re fragile and easily broken. In some ways, that is why Ed has always thought that human life is so beautiful. 

Still, he thinks your life would’ve been so much more beautiful if you had lived it to its full extent. If you could’ve continued to laugh like you had, if you could’ve continued to shine bright like you had – he thinks you’d have made the world a better place. 

He’s lived for many years, yet the loss of someone he considers dear somehow still stings. He thought he managed to rid himself of such stinging emotions, yet it appears that even age does not make you immune to loss. 

Or perhaps you're just one of those humans – one of those humans that make a lasting impact on those around them. But how could you not make an impact? After all, you were so hardworking, both for your sake and for others. 

Who wouldn’t find you precious?

“Okay, Ed! Let’s watch some sad movies!”

Ed had texted you a few minutes ago, bemoaning his exhaustion. He hadn’t expected you to barrel into his room, a bag of snacks in your hand.

“My, my. What brought this on? Not that I am opposed, of course.”

“Well, you said you were tired, right? And you also said you drink tears, right? Well, I brought over some movies I’ll definitely cry to!” you gave him a confident grin. “Don’t worry, Ed. You’ll feel better really soon!”

“How reassuring,” he mused, welcoming you into his messy room. Rui had cleaned it up a few days ago, but Ed found it quite difficult to maintain cleanliness. You didn’t comment on it as you made your way over to him, settling yourself by his side. It was quite cozy.

Laying in his bed isn’t quite as cozy if you’re not there, he realizes. He scrolls through the videos you’ve sent him, imagining how you reacted to these videos. It is reassuring in some ways to have remnants of you left behind, but the pain that he can now only reach you through the remnants of your memory leaves him feeling vacant.

“Being with you really does bring up old, old memories,” he muses. “Perhaps it’s because you remind me a little of her.”

He wonders if there’ll be anyone who reminds him of you.

Not everyone who dies becomes a ghost. Yet, deep inside, Zenji had hoped that you’d have turned into one like him. He had hoped that you’d be able to spend time together, finally being able to hold your hand in his. However, he knows that it’s a selfish desire, one that cannot come true. He scoured the entire campus for any sign of your soul, after all, and came up empty handed.

He wishes that you could’ve been alive instead, then.

He’d rather live by your side, unable to touch you, than not be able to see you at all.

He’d rather you live your life like you want to, happily.

He wishes he could’ve done something more for you – after all, you’ve done so much for him. He’s a ghost, someone that most don’t know the existence of. Yet you made sure to greet him and spend time with him whenever you had time. You’ve been a source of his inspiration, his muse, because of how much you make his heart swell with joy.

He is an artist, so creating is in his blood. However, how do you create when you lose a piece of your hope? How do you create when you lose your source of inspiration?

“My dear, what do you think about this piece?” Zenji had asked, flourishing his biwa with grandeur. 

“It’s great!” you said, earnestly. “I especially like how it felt like a full narrative – I got so tense when the biwa’s sound got deeper in the middle, just like the climax of a story!”

“Astute observation, my dear! That is indeed what I was aiming for.” Zenji couldn’t express the unexplainable joy that blossomed inside his heart when he heard your praise. You were a beacon of light that shined in the desolate lands. You were the purple wisteria that danced from the tree branches over the Hotarubi lake. Your beauty, your kindness – it was all so beautiful to him. He felt like the moon to your sun. “I really am the luckiest fella around.”

And now, he’s the unluckiest fella around, Zenji thinks. You’re no longer by his side. You’ll never be by his side, at least, not in this lifetime. The thought makes Zenji’s heart throb painfully. “Maybe we really did meet too late,” Zenji murmurs, watching wisteria petals float around the lake. “But it’s all right. I promise I’ll find you in the next life.”

 Haku can’t say he’s ever been too happy to be able to see ghosts. Sure, Zenji’s fun to be around and it’s not like his ability really harmed him in any way, but he can’t really think of many times he’s been glad to have his ability. When he hears of your death, denial is the first thing that settles in his brain. Then, the grief follows. But hope blossoms in a corner of his mind. He can see ghosts – maybe he’ll be able to see you? Hope glimmers in the corner of Haku’s heart as he tries to find you.

The glimmer soon dies out, however, because it’s all for naught. Not everyone becomes a ghost. It was foolish of him to think that you’d have become one.

But then what’s the point of his power – his stupid ability to see ghosts? What’s the point of it if he can’t even see the one he wants to see?

Haku feels like it’s all a big practical joke from the universe, and he wants to be in on it because he’s failing to see what’s so funny.

Living an ordinary life, dying an ordinary death – that’s something you deserved to experience, and now you’re gone. It’s an inexplicably painful feeling that stabs at his heart. How is he supposed to fill the hole you left behind?

“I don’t know if this is a good idea…” you murmured, looking shy.

“You look beautiful,” Haku said, easily, a teasing grin on his face at how flustered you looked. His words were far from teasing, though. They were filled with an earnest praise of how gorgeous you looked decorated in white. Just seeing you in wedding attire made him think that it’d be a shame if anyone else got to see how beautiful you looked, but also a shame if no one else got to see. A weird balance of wanting to show you off, yet wanting to keep you to himself lingered inside him.

“Sure, sure,” you grumbled without any bite. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Thanks for agreeing to help, by the way,” Haku said, offering you his hand to take. You took it gratefully, before you shook your head with a laugh.

“It’s nothing. I’m glad I can help your junior in some way, though.”

“Yeah, she really appreciates your help.”

“Good.” The satisfaction on your face made you glow with a sort of shine one could only find in gold. It was precious, it was soft, it was so darling that Haku wanted to make sure that you continued to glow and shine forever. Even if it meant that you weren’t by his side (even though he so desperately wanted you by his side).

“...I know I’m being selfish – but sometimes, I wish you’d forget about me…” he murmured, low enough that he hoped you wouldn’t hear it. You gave him a glance, only squeezing his hand in response. He wasn’t sure how to interpret your reaction, but a part of him wants it to indicate that you wouldn’t ever forget him, even if forgetting him would most likely make you happier.

It’s hard to balance the desire of being remembered and the desire of being forgotten.

He wasn’t sure what he was feeling.

“But I guess that doesn’t really matter now, does it?” Haku muses, looking at the skies above. Stars sprinkle the navy-colored sky like diamonds. He can only hope you’re out there, shining.

From the age of four, Subaru was molded to perfect the performing arts. A child star, a prodigy – those are the titles given to him. He never feels like he deserves that praise – he’s not sure if he’ll ever feel like he deserves that praise. After all, growing up, anxiety was his most reliable companion, following him everywhere he went. How can he not doubt himself?

Yet while he breathed the performing arts, he’s developed mannerisms most around him find peculiar and odd. It’s hard not to think of himself as a bother when he can’t seem to blend into society as well as he’d like.

Because of his oddities, he never thought he’d ever be able to have a normal school life. Somehow, however, he's able to come to Darkwick Academy, experiencing pleasant social interactions due to the kindness of the people around him – people like yourself. You’re someone who Subaru can find a semblance of comfort in, despite his anxiety.

He knows he’s probably annoying you, but you’re always there, always so patient. You don’t make fun of him for his discomfort, nor do you push him beyond his boundaries. Instead, you patiently wait for him, allowing him to walk alongside you at his pace.

So when Subaru hears the news that you’re no longer with the living – no longer with him, he can't stop his mind from spinning. You’ve always been someone that waited for him patiently, yet now you’ve gone off by yourself to somewhere he can’t reach.

Emptily, he looks at the sakura mochi on the shelf – he had bought it for you. You’d eat his meager offerings with gusto, even if not all of them suited your palette.

He’s not sure how he’ll stomach some of the food he’s eaten with you from this point onwards. You’re not here physically, only your memories lingering in the ingredients of his meals. He’s not sure if he’ll be able to stomach the food you’ve made for him if someone else makes it, either.

“I’m sorry,” he had said, running up to you, out of breath.“I didn’t mean to be late.”

“You’re not!” you responded cheerily, patting the spot next to you. “Come, sit!”

“Thank you.” Gingerly, Subaru took the spot next to you, placing his hands on his lap. You peered at him curiously.

“Where’s your lunch, Subaru?”

“Ah.” Subaru ducked his head in embarrassment. “I ended up not being able to get anything.” Despite making you wait, despite his best efforts, he just wasn’t able to secure anything. How shameful. “But it’s all right. I can drink water for lunch.”

“No, don’t do that,” you chastised, lightly. “I actually packed my own lunch today because I thought it’d be busy everywhere. I packed a lot, so why don’t we share?”

“Ah–” Subaru looked at the delectable way your lunch box was crafted. “No, I’d hate to intrude.”

“You aren’t intruding, Subaru.” You nudged one of your lunchboxes into his hand along with some chopsticks. “I’m offering! I’m actually pretty happy with how some of these came out. Won’t you try some?”

At the delicious smell of your lunchbox, Subaru’s stomach let out an embarrassing growl. His face flushed, mortified, but you made no comment on it, instead offering your lunch again. “Well, if you insist,” he murmured, finally taking a box from you. 

Once he took you up on your offer, you dug into your own lunch. Though, Subaru couldn’t help but notice how you’d glance at him nervously. It was kind of cute.

Not wanting to waste your kindness, Subaru took a bite of the lunch, before his eyes widened with glee. “This is delicious!”

“Whew– I mean, great! I’m so glad,” you beamed. “If you tell me some of your favorite food, I can try to make it for you! I can’t guarantee it’ll be as good as Sho’s, but I can try!”

“I couldn’t ask you to,” Subaru responded, bashfully. The thought that you cared for him was enough to satisfy him. “I would hate to be a bother.”

“You’re never a bother, Subaru.” Your voice was so kind, so soft and genuine that Subaru didn’t really know how to react.

“Really?” Disbelief laced his voice. He hated being a bother but always felt like he was. He knew that you were already spending your precious lunch with him when you could spend it with anyone else. There wasn’t any way you’d care about him to that extent, right? 

“Subaru?” you asked, concerned.

“I just can’t believe it – why…” Subaru paused, suddenly hit with a bout of embarrassment. “Ah– I don’t want to seem like I’m testing you, I just… I get really anxious sometimes… I’m sorry. I’m being weird, aren’t I?”

“You’re not.” Your voice rang clear inside the storm in Subaru’s head, letting sunshine stream through the clouds. “I’ve never thought you were a bother. I actually really enjoy my lunches with you.”

“Really?”

“Yup! So if I’m not too much of a bother, let’s eat more lunches together!”

Subaru had promised, promised that he would. He promised that you’d always eat your lunches together because that’s what he sincerely believed. He believed that you two would be able to bask underneath the sunrays, seated on your favorite bench, laughing.

He wants to believe that you’ll still be able to eat together. He wants to believe so desperately. Because who else could bring him the comfort you did? Who else will patiently wait for him to catch up, gently guiding him when he needs it?

But now you’re gone – you’re gone. You won’t be able to come back. It tears at Subaru because his anxiety and inferiority complex tell him that it’s his fault – that he could’ve done something, anything, to save you. 

Why couldn’t he save you?

Why couldn’t you have been saved?

The room that Subaru is in feels too big for him as it slowly fills with his grief.

According to Article 230 in the Japanese penal code, “a person who defames another by publicly alleging facts shall, regardless of whether such facts are true or false, be punished with penal servitude or imprisonment not to exceed three years or a fine of not more than 500,000 yen.” Doesn’t Darkwick know that? Why would Darkwick allege such odd things like your death, Ritsu wonders. Still, he’ll record what the Masterpiece Newscasters are saying – after all, it’ll be useful to leverage against Darkwick when he takes you to argue his cases.

There is little he finds more important than being able to argue his cases, which indicate his proficiency. He needs to be proficient in order to be able to become a fantastic lawyer like his father – this has always been his goal. Even after meeting you, it’s been his goal.

Some may have thought that you would’ve been a distraction for Ritsu, but he’s certain that your presence in his life has been for the better. You’re a fantastic business partner, being perfect to bounce his ideas off of. It’s admirable that you’ve taken on the mantle of ridding yourself of your curse, too. Ritsu finds that most people aren’t that hard working or really worth his time (unless they’re clients), but you’re different. You’re worth his time.

“Could I ask you to accompany me a little longer?” he had asked one day as you’re about to leave the diner. “I realize it’s outside of business hours, but… I would appreciate it if you could make a special exception.”

“Oh?” you looked surprised, though it was soon replaced with a smile. Your smile was something Ritsu appreciated seeing nowadays – something that felt like visible proof of Ritsu’s hard work. “Yeah, sure! I have time. What do you need?”

“I have to go over a few notes,” Ritsu responded, passing a notebook over to you. “I’ve already gone through these once, but I’d appreciate it if you could go through it, too. It’ll prove beneficial for you.”

“Yeah, sure, leave it to me!”

Your eagerness to help Ritsu cemented the fact that you were the right choice for his business partner. As the hour slowly trailed on, the both of you focused on your respective reading, Ritsu found that he didn’t quite mind spending time with you like this, outside of business hours. He found your presence calming, yet also helpful – he found it easier to focus when you were around.

It was nice. Even as the two of you began to wrap up, Ritsu wasn’t in as much of a hurry to disappear. 

“I’ll take your thoughts into consideration,” Ritsu said as you two left the diner. The night sky stretched out beautifully above you two. Ritsu had never noticed it before.

“Sounds good!”

Ritsu cleared his throat, offering you a hand to shake. You shook his hand without much preamble. He appreciated it. “It seems we make better business partners than I would have expected. I look forward to a long and prosperous relationship with you.”

“Likewise.”

He still thought about the smile you’d given him that night, bright like the moon. It was a smile that made it obvious that he had someone by his side to support him – someone that he can support in return. 

So, there’s no way you’re gone. Not when you have him as a business partner. That’s a ludicrous thought.

Still, he can’t seem to shake the ill feeling from his body. Why aren’t you responding to your texts? You’re usually quite timely unless something has come up. Something…

No, there’s no way you’re gone. There’s just no way.

Ritsu’s grip on his briefcase tightens.

He feels like he’s going to be sick.

Romeo wants to scream, so he does. “Everyone, leave!” His voice echoes in his room, his workers trying to scramble out of Romeo’s wrath. With a frustrated string of curses, Romeo collapses on his expensive chair, the one encrusted with diamond – the one that you’d complimented.

Romeo truly, utterly, feels sick. He feels annoyed. He feels disgusting. His perfect porcelain skin is marred with wrinkles, a frown deep set in his face. How dare you – how dare you have the audacity to leave him. He never gave you permission to do things like this, so how could you go away? He’s always known you were bad at following directions, but this is too much, even for you.

No.

What’s too much is that someone, someone, thought that they could come in and take you from him. How dare they! They didn’t even get permission from him! They didn’t… So why would they? They can’t take you away from him, not when you’re the only one that listens to him. Not when you’re the only one who seems to care about not making wrinkles appear on his face. Not when you’ve been doing your best.

It’s not fair. It’s just not fair.

“Why are you carrying that?! What if you drop it and it breaks?” Romeo exclaimed, watching you carry a very expensive vase.

“Ah – I heard you say that the guys who’re supposed to move this haven’t done their job, so I thought I could help!”

Help?! Romeo couldn’t help but look at the way your arms trembled with the weight of a price that far exceeded your budget, doubt coloring his face. “I’ll get one of our young guys to do it, so put it down already!”

You huffed, putting the vase down carefully, with a defeated sigh. “Sorry, I just wanted to help.”

“Help where you’re actually useful,” Romeo grumbled, crossing his arms. If those idiots that he’d asked to move the vase actually moved the vase, then he wouldn’t be in this predicament. “Those WTWUT make my life much harder.”

“Wall-to-wall useless trash, huh?” you mused. Romeo thought that amusement looked good on you – it gave you a cocky look that suited you. If only everyone else could be like you, then he wouldn’t be as stressed as he was. 

“I need a face pack,” he muttered.

“Do you want me to get it for you?”

“Hm. Sure.” Romeo paused. “Get one for yourself while you’re at it.”

“Me?” you looked at him with curiosity and shock written across the apples of your cheeks.

“Who else?”

“I just… I dunno. Do you think it’s okay?”

“Of course. What could you possibly be afraid of?” Romeo asked. “You’re one of my people! Who’s going to say anything?”

You looked contemplative, before a light smile crossed your features. “That’s true. I guess no one can really say anything to you.”

Your words make him feel powerful. Your actions do, too. When he’s with you, he feels like the world is in his palms. But now he’s without you. Now, he’ll always be without you.

Anger thrums through his veins. 

You’re one of his people. How dare they take you away from him? Romeo won’t stand for it. He’ll snipe down the bastard that did this to him – that did this to you.

“You BTH!” Romeo yells, storming into Taiga’s room with the fury of a thousand bulls. “You’re still lazing around?”

Taiga doesn’t respond, twirling a gun in his hand. He’s not entirely in his right mind right now, but he can still pick up “revenge” and “snipe” among the various words Romeo spews.

“You better do your part,” Romeo hisses, finally deciding to leave Taiga alone. Maybe Romeo would’ve stayed longer to nag at Taiga if Romeo were in a better state of mind. Taiga can’t really bring himself to care at the moment, though, his own state of mind is a jumbled mess.

Flashes of memories, flashes of thoughts – they alternate inside his head, before phasing out of existence. He’s not sure when it started, but his mind has been deteriorating, memories floating in and out of his head. What most would consider “common sense” is also something Taiga has been losing grasp of.

Even in spite of that, somehow, you’ve made your way into his brain, like a little parasite that burrows into his thoughts. He didn’t think he could remember someone – not in his current state of mind, anyway. He didn’t think he could form an attachment to you either, not with how he just doesn’t want to care anymore. The world’s going to burn, everything unfurling into a messy pile of futures that could be and won't be. It’s all messed up, it’s all gonna be messed up. Yet, somehow, despite all that, Taiga can’t help but think of you as some source of light, a beacon of hope that he kept around to stop him from completely drowning in the dark murkiness of the future.

“That’s it, kitty-cat,” he had said, placing you in his lap as he prepared to play another round of blackjack. “I feel like my luck’ll change if you’re around.”

“I don’t know about that,” you responded, watching as the dealer handed out everyone’s cards. You fidgeted in his lap like a cute little cat, clearly trying to break your discomfort.

“Quit failing around,” Taiga said, looking at his cards. To Taiga’s amusement, you settled in his lap to the best of your abilities, leaning into his chest. He pulled you closer, as he continued to play blackjack. 

The longer he played, the more he felt some odd sense of peace with you snuggled in his lap. Your smell and warmth wrapped around him like a little security blanket. In some ways, it made him want to consume you wholly until you couldn’t think of anything else that wasn’t him. It made him hungry.

But now, there’s a hollow feeling inside of him, something that bypasses physical hunger. He hungers for your soul that’s now no longer here. The pitch-black murkiness of the future spreads even further across his eyelids, being the only thing he can see. Fate has dealt him a bad hand that he had tried to win against.

He never could win, though, could he?

“Tell me something, would you?” Taiga laughs in his empty room, eyes staring at the ceiling. He searches and searches, but can’t find any sight of you. “What could I have done different to change this outcome?”

Ren has always thought that coming to Darkwick Academy was a mistake. His experience didn’t exactly start off nicely, what with him being sorted into Jabberwock and having to deal with the annoying Jabberwock captain. All those stupid anomalous animals made it so that he rarely had time to himself, even if he tried his best to lock himself in his room.

Still, there’s a silver lining to everything. Sure, Towa keeps trying to feed some odd looking porridge. Sure, Haru is still meddlesome and annoying. But they’re… not bad. And you’re here, so it’s kind of okay. 

He’s always thought that people doing annoying things for the sake of friends or whatever were delusional – frankly speaking, he could care less. Yet, when he looks at you, he thinks that maybe there are people out there who do things because they want to. Initially, you’d been somewhat of a doormat to him, but then he realized that your voluntary help came because you care about others – about him.

He can’t count the number of times you’ve come to help him out, whether it’s with the anomalous animals or a raid in his new game. You’ve just… always been there. He didn’t think it was possible, but your constant presence had carved out a you-shaped hole in his life, a place only you could fit.

So how’s he supposed to fill that emptiness now? It’s all your fault, Ren thinks. If only he hadn’t met you… but then, if he hadn’t met you, he doesn’t think he could’ve survived.

“Well done me for surviving another day…” Ren had grumbled, dusting his jumpsuit off. He hated getting dirty, but it wasn’t like he could avoid it in Jabberwock, especially if Haru was going to hound him continuously. 

“Good job, Ren!”

He looked up, seeing how you still looked cute despite the mud and disheveled hair. He found it kind of unfair. “Oh, same to you,” he said. “I don’t know how you can do this stuff voluntarily.”

“The animals are cute and you guys need the help,” you replied, waving at him to bend down. “Ren, there’s some mud on your face. Do you mind if I wipe it off?”

“Huh? You’re the type who does this kind of stuff, huh?”

“Ah, sorry–”

“No, you can,” Ren said. It wasn’t like he gave you permission to help him because he wanted to feel your touch, though. It was because he couldn’t stand the mud on him. Yup. That was definitely the reason. Still, even then, he couldn’t help the way his heart thudded against his chest as you gently wiped the grime off of his face. “It’s from that stupid bull anomaly kicking dirt in my face, isn’t it?”

“I think that’s when it happened, yeah,” you responded with a laugh. “But I’m here if you need me, so I can help you.”

Ren didn’t know what to say to your honest desire to help him, it was oddly sweet of you. You had been his only real source of comfort, what with everyone else wanting so much from him. You were the only one who watched his B-horror movies with him – the only one who’d game with him.

“There, all done! Let’s go back to the dorms. I’m sure you’ll feel better after a shower.”

“...Thanks,” he muttered, walking with you back to the Jabberwock dorms. The skies were painted shades of pink and purple, the sun ready to head to bed.

“Even though it’s hard work, it’s nice to be able to see the sunset, huh?” you hummed. Ren liked the sound of your voice – not too loud like Haru’s and not too incomprehensible like Towa’s.

“Yeah.” He breathed in deeply, feeling the fresh air purify his lungs. “Every day here is a fresh hell, though.”

“Aw, Ren,” you laughed. “Yeah, it’s pretty hard work, huh?”

“...Yeah. But, you’re suffering through it with me, so I guess I’ll stick it out for a little longer…”

But how’s he supposed to stick it out now? You’re not here anymore. You’re not going to be there to help him. You’re not going to be there when he wants to watch his B-horror movies or play games. You’re not going to be there when he buys you a drink as he walks you home.

You’re not going to be here. And he didn’t even get to say goodbye…

Ren’s always been bad at goodbyes – he couldn’t even wish Calamari farewell. But he’d have rather been able to say something to you since he’s not going to be able to say anything to you ever again now. Never, ever again.

Ren doesn’t know how he’s going to survive.

Ever since Towa found out about your death, the skies in Jabberwock have been marred with thick clouds and thunder. His precious, precious Dandelion – how can you be gone? You can’t be gone yet. You haven’t told him all the love stories you had in your arsenal. You haven’t tried all the flowers Towa wants to offer you. You haven’t shown him all the reactions you’ve stored away for him to slowly bring to the surface.

You can’t be gone just yet, he won’t allow it.

Murkiness swims inside Towa’s heart as he grapples with the anger and sadness that fight and merge into an incomprehensible seed of emotion that is planted deeply within Towa’s heart. Should he just strike everyone down? You’re not here, so as long as he avoids Haru, it doesn’t matter who he hurts. It’s not like he particularly cares about anyone else on campus anyway. 

But he can’t allow his emotions to explode out of him just yet, not when the tree on the hill is dying. You care about that tree as well, after all. 

But then where is he supposed to spill his anger? His grief? Where does it all go?

Is this what love is? This agony?

Towa hasn’t ever really been certain about what “love” is. 

“Well, love can be a lot of things,” you had said, laying by his side on the hill with the tree. You were enraptured with the stars, but Towa couldn’t help but look at you. You were so much like a dandelion, your resilience and strength shining through despite your troubles. And you were cute like a Dandelion. Your voice was nice, too, like the wind that carried dandelion seeds across the world. “Like… there’s romantic love, platonic love, familial love, and all of that, you know? Even within romantic love, it can be a lot of different things.”

“Like what?” Towa asked, making you hum in thought.

“Uh… like soulmates, I guess? Some people meet their soulmates, some don’t. But even if you don’t meet your soulmate, you can still find someone you romantically love. Maybe you’ll meet your soulmate but not realize they’re your soulmate too. It’d be hard to tell, right?”

“When you meet your soulmate, it feels like getting struck by lightning. Did you know that? Have you felt it, Dandelion?” Towa’s words made you turn your head towards him, finally paying attention to him instead of the stars. Towa liked the way you looked at him.

“I don’t think I have,” you responded, truthfully. “But I’m not in a rush. I’m sure I’ll find the person I love, even if they’re not my soulmate. Hell, maybe anyone can be your soulmate. Maybe soulmates are made when you love and grow with each other. Who knows?” A yawn escaped your mouth as you finished your thought.

“Heh heh.” Towa’s eyes crinkled at the sight. “Are you tired, Dandelion? You’re so weak. It’s cute.”

“Hey!” you laughed. “I’m getting stronger, y’know.” Flexing your arm, you show off a small bit of the muscle you’ve been building up. Towa couldn’t help but be amused at your little display of strength, miniscule in front of his own power. It was hard not to find it cute that you tried to carry so many burdens on your shoulders despite your own weaknesses. Towa could only surmise that your resilience came from the love within you. He hoped that he could be a part of that love inside of you.

“Do you like me, Dandelion?” Towa inquired, smile bright. “Because I love you!”

Towa doesn’t fully know what love is – it’s an idea he’s always been in love with, but has no experience and understanding of. You’re the closest he’s ever gotten to potentially finding the answer he’s been looking for. But now you’re gone. He doesn’t know how he’ll understand love now.

He hugs the great tree on the hill, tears trickling down his face.

 When the little mermaid turned into seafoam, did she feel this way too?

Haru is always busy. He wakes up busy and sleeps busy. Nothing ever seems to stop for him, time constantly slipping through his fingers like sand no matter how fast he runs.

So why did time have to stop for you?

Even as Haru makes his rounds, Towa’s lightning in the backdrop as he works, he can’t seem to keep his mind busy enough to not think of you. Thoughts and memories of you run around his head again and again and again. They run so fast that he can’t seem to catch up.

So Haru does what he can do to maintain routine. At the very least, maintaining routine should help him adjust, shouldn’t it? But as he carries out his daily chores, all he can think about is how you’d help him around Jabberwock. How you would give him sweets to amp up his energy. How you loved Peekaboo like it was your own.

“Boo…” Peekaboo says, aware of the tenseness and wariness on Haru’s shoulders – aware of the fact you’re no longer there. Peekaboo’s tears make your death weigh even heavier on Haru’s heart as he cuddles the small beast in his arms.

“You sure are fond of the Honor Student, aren’t you, Peekaboo?” Haru had asked, looking at how Peekaboo cuddled up against your chest as you fed it. “You did nothing but bite me for the first three days after we met.”

You laughed brightly, releasing a sound that Haru was quite fond of. “The only reason Peekaboo’s not biting me is because it’s used to you, you know.”

“You reckon?” Haru responded, reaching out to pet Peekaboo who welcomed the touch.

“See? Look at that. Peekaboo loves you so much.” You gave Peekaboo a kiss on its cute fluffy forward, making the small anomalous animal make happy little squeaks. “You like your dad quite a bit, don’t you?”

The sight of you and Peekaboo together made Haru’s heart warm. He was constantly managing things by himself that he never really expected to find a stable support system. Towa, while competent, could be quite moody. Ren, too, while able bodied, refused to do a lot of the work. So, of course, work always fell on Haru’s weary shoulders. He never expected to find someone that could provide him the support he needed – like the other parent of Jabberwock. “Then you’re a bit like Peekaboo’s mother, eh?”

“I wouldn’t mind – not when my child is as cute as Peekaboo!” you replied brightly, patting Peekaboo’s back to allow it to burp. After releasing a burp too large for such a small animal, Peekaboo cuddled into you, satisfied. You hummed out a little tune as you rocked the little anomalous animal to sleep. Seeing you made a smile stretch across Haru’s face.

“Really learned the ropes here, haven’t you?” he said, gently ruffling Peekaboo’s fur. “Once we have a little cash to spare, I’ll buy you your own Jabberwock uniform!”

You’d no longer need it, though, Haru thinks, thumb brushing against the fabric of the Jabberwock uniform he had gotten for you. While you aren’t officially a part of the Jabberwock House, it’s hard not to feel like you belonged. 

But you’re no longer here – you no longer belong to the living, so how could you belong to Jabberwock? Haru wishes that you were still here, though. It hasn’t even been a day, but he already misses you. Even if you couldn’t help him out every day, just getting a text message boosted his spirits. Just thinking about the fact that you’d help him with Jabberwock duties and his personal issues helped him get through his cumbersome day.

You were someone he could depend on and he wanted to be someone you could depend on. But, in the end, he couldn’t protect you.

His responsibilities sit heavily on his shoulders.

Sho has always kept himself busy. Whether it’s cooking, playing sports, training, or something else, Sho has always liked to do something. Maybe that’s why he’s in the kitchen, cooking your favorite meal, while he tries to process what the Masterpiece Newscasters had prattled on about earlier.

You’re dead?

There’s no way. You can’t be.

He thinks back to the first case you worked on together, the one with Takeru. He had failed to protect you then and vowed he wouldn’t put you in the way of danger like that again. So how? Why?

Who killed you?

Sho slams a fist on the kitchen counter, lips pressed in a thin line. Frustration bubbles inside him as curses leave his lips in rapid succession.

You can’t be dead. You can’t. Not when you’ve been working so hard. Not when you’ve been doing everything in your power to survive. Not when you’ve inspired and helped him to the point that he still feels like he has to repay you. Not when he hasn’t done or told you everything he wants to.

“Fuck!” he yells, slamming his fists on the kitchen counter once more.

You jolted when he yelled a curse, slamming a fist on the wall.

“Shit, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” Sho said, sheepishly rubbing the nape of his neck. You were fun to tease and get reactions out of, but that didn’t mean he wanted to scare you.

“What’s the matter, Sho?” you asked, putting down your knife. “Tell me. I might be able to help you.”

“It’s nothing,” Sho started to say, before the look on your face made him stop. He snorted at how displeased you looked. “It’s just that some back order stuff got delayed. I won’t have enough forks for tomorrow.”

“Oh, is that it?” you asked, looking relieved. “I have a bunch of plastic forks back at the cathedral, actually. Do you want me to get them?”

“Huh? Why do you have a bunch of plastic forks laying around?”

“Uh… let’s just say that I had some ordering issues.” You waved a hand to dismiss the question. “Anyway! I can go get them.”

“Nah, let’s go together.” He shuffled around, before pulling out a helmet and tossing it to you. “Here, this helmet’s for you.”

“Oh, this one looks awesome!” you beamed, turning the helmet around in your hands. It was in your favorite color with your favorite patterns. Sho huffed out a laugh at your response. You were so cute sometimes.

“Glad you like it. C’mon.” He pushed the door to the food truck open with his foot. “Let’s go.”

“Okay!”

“After this,” he began, closing and locking the door once you were both out of the food truck, “I got some time today, so I’ll take you somewhere. Anywhere you wanna go.”

He still remembers the way your arms felt around his waist as you clung to him while he drove. He still remembers the way your eyes sparkled watching your favorite scenery. He still remembers how his heart pounded in his chest, the feeling of liberation lifting his spirits, as he drove through the streets with you clinging to him.

Your determination has always felt like freedom to Sho – it’s what inspired him to put more effort into his life at Darkwick. It’s what inspired him to take things more seriously. 

But maybe he should’ve taken things more seriously when he had the chance. Now that you’re gone, so is his chance to prove himself to you. You've gone somewhere too far, somewhere no one else can reach. 

This isn’t the freedom he had envisioned for you.

Whenever Sho gets too emotional, Leo is quick to make fun of him. It's stupid to get too riled up, Leo thinks. The world is boring and easy to manipulate, after all. Why should he get upset? 

Leo has always been able to get what he wants – he even became vice-captain, for fuck's sake. He basically solved Takeru’s case by himself while also trying to get rid of you because your stupid stigma enhancement might overshadow him. Sure, he couldn't get rid of you then but it's not like he can't try again, especially when you keep sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

But this isn’t how he wanted to get rid of you. Who said you could just die? It’s so stupid. It’s so dumb that it makes Leo feel angry. You stupidly kept going despite his scathing remarks, despite people walking all over you and disrespecting you, so why are you dead? You’re not allowed to be dead.

You still need to help him use Haxs. You still need to be there so he can get a sense of validation when he watches your reactions. You still need to be here because out of everyone on campus, your presence is somewhat tolerable. Who’s he gonna comfortably boss around now?

“Ha ha. You were photobombing one of my pics so I uploaded it and said I had a new girlfriend,” Leo snickered as you brushed his hair. He didn’t think you’d be so good at it, but he found that his hair was smoother when you brushed it. “10K interacts in less than an hour. Suckers.”

“Is that okay?” you asked, making Leo roll his eyes.

“It’s fine, Honor Roll. In fact, shouldn’t you be grateful?”

“That’s not what I meant.” you huffed, tugging his hair lightly as you untangled a knot. It felt nice. “I mean, are you okay? Don’t influencers get harassed if they post about their significant others?”

Leo hated this whole goody-two-shoes act you had going on. Why were you so concerned about him? It wasn’t like he was particularly nice to you and it wasn’t like you necessarily treated him better than you would anyone else. Were you just stupidly nice in general? “Being an influencer means you get hate mail anyway,” he responded, closing out of his social media app. It wasn’t really all that interesting anymore.

“Hm… I see.” You became silent, which made Leo feel oddly annoyed. “People can really suck sometimes.”

Leo snorted. He had been anything but kind to you, really, so he thought you’d have already come to that conclusion a while ago. “It’s whatever. They’re all basic.”

He knew that this was the point where you could say something about him coming to you to talk (which he would never do, barf), but you don’t. Instead, you continue to thread your fingers through his hair gently.

He hated to admit it, but it was relaxing.

“Okay, I think I’m done,” you hummed, removing your hands from him. He noted that it was slightly colder when you left, but chalked it up to the poor heat regulation in Vagastrom. “Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day, Leo! I got you something.”

Leo turned to you curiously as he combed his fingers through his hair, which definitely felt softer. He gingerly took your offering, before his eyes widened. “This is that ultra-spicy chocolate they only sell this time of year… I’m actually genuinely stoked right now.”

“I’m glad!” you beamed. It was a smile that Leo thought was slightly less ugly than usual. In general, you had been looking slightly less ugly lately, actually. That thought made him feel nauseous.

“Wanna make a bet, Honor Roll?”

You blinked at him, suddenly looking wary. He used to think that expression was so stupid, but now he thought it was kind of cute in a dumb kind of way. “What type of bet…?”

“A bet over which will come first – me falling for you, or you getting hooked on me.”

There’s no conclusive way to find out the end to this bet now, not with you gone. But he thinks you probably got hooked on him first – after all, it’s not like he’s thinks about your stupid laugh or dumb words of encouragement when he feels down or anything. Besides, as far as the internet’s concerned, you’re already dating him.

He briefly thinks about uploading a post about your death. Those suckers online would eat it up, sending him pity and sympathy. But the thought is so unappealing that he drops it. It’s not like your death is gonna matter to other people.

After all, life sucks and then you die, right? It’s just a part of living and he’s not pathetic enough to suddenly miss you. But there’s a disgustingly hollow feeling in his chest as his thoughts ring too loudly. You’re just an NPC – aren’t NPCs supposed to live quietly in the background while the main characters get their character development or whatever? 

Why couldn’t you just quietly live your life like that?

You’re so stupid.

Alan has always felt like a monster. His hands – his stigma – have crushed so many things until they’ve become nothing but dust. He’s never been proud of this strength, not when he causes so many to cower. 

He had expected you to cower, too, especially after he ripped Takeru’s ghost apart in front of you, so lost in the bloodlust. But you hadn’t. You stood by his side with as much care and compassion you could muster. When he wanted to keep looking into the case of Takeru’s ghost even after it was considered “finished” by Darkwick, you offered to help him even though you didn’t need to.

Alan’s never really been a conversationalist, so he didn’t expect you to spend time with him unless it was necessary. Still, he can’t say he dislikes having you around. Even when he’s tinkering with his car, it’s nice to have you sitting nearby, talking about your day.

You’re someone he appreciates – someone who does their best no matter how dire the situation is, someone who strives to do better. How could he not grow fond of how hard you work on a daily basis?

“I pat people on the head a lot? Didn’t notice,” Alan had said, after placing his hand on your hair. He really hadn’t realized – it was a force of habit, especially when you had done such a good job. “I’m doing it again?” he murmured, removing his hand, “...Sorry.”

“It’s nothing you have to be sorry for,” you responded, honestly. “It was just an observation.”

Despite knowing that his hands were akin to weapons, Alan couldn’t help but be drawn to touching you. Unlike him, you were soft and sweet. Still, he felt guilty. He hadn’t ever wanted you to feel uncomfortable, after all. 

“I actually kind of like it when you pat my head,” you said. “You’re really gentle with it, so it makes it feel like I did a good job!”

Alan would never describe his touch as gentle, but he felt like he could believe it if it came from you.“You’re doing a good job.”

“Thanks!” you responded, giving him a big smile that he couldn’t say he had seen from other people. Most other people here had cunning smiles or looked fearful of him. He liked how genuine yours looked. “I can keep trying my best because of you and the others, you know? Thanks a lot.”

Alan couldn’t really recall if he had done anything to receive this type of praise from you, but your words made him feel relaxed. He felt like you helped him feel more human. “I’m lucky I’ve got you,” he said, trying to express his gratitude. “As long as you’re with me, I feel like I won’t lose sight of who I am.”

But now you’re no longer here. It makes Alan scared of himself in a way that he’s never felt before. He had treated you gently, like you were made of glass, because he was scared he’d break you. Yet you weren’t ever scared of him breaking you. Being with you softened up his edges and made him feel more human than monster.

You’re no longer here, though.

Perhaps it has always been his fate to become a monster.

Kaito hasn’t stopped crying since he’s heard the Masterpiece Newscasters relay the news of your death. It hurts so bad. 

Kaito doesn’t think he’s ever been so badly hurt in his life. 

Kaito’s never been one to like pain, which is why he avoids training and going on missions. He wants to be normal and being a ghoul is abnormal. The non-ghouls around him cement that on a daily basis. Yet you’re one of the only non-ghouls who has always treated him kindly no matter what.

Even when he’s a pathetic idiot or a stupid coward, you’ve always been so patient and kind to him. Kaito has liked a lot of girls on a surface level, but his feelings towards you have evolved beyond that. He thinks you’re pretty and lovely and all of that, of course, but more than that, he thinks you’re an amazing person. Amazingly strong, amazingly hard working – you’re someone he values so deeply. Even when he knows he’s being foolish, you’re there by his side because you care about him, aren’t you? So how could he not grow to care about you? You’re the few people that he feels he can truly be close to.

“Whoa, when did it get so late?!” Kaito gasped, looking at the window outside. You two had been baking since noon, but ended up goofing off at some point, delaying the baking process. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you…”

“I’m still good!” you responded, before taking a big bite out of your cookie. While chewing your sweet treat, you offered Kaito a piece, too.

“Really?” Kaito asked, taking the cookie you offered him.

“Yeah, I like spending time with you.”

Your words made Kaito’s heart swell with so much gratitude and affection that he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself. He always considered himself lackluster in practically everything, but he felt like he could do better and try to be better because you were there. He couldn’t help the cheesy grin that came onto his face.

“Oh, look, Kaito! The stars look so pretty!”

Kaito looked over at the large window in the kitchen, watching as the stars twinkled in the night sky.

“It kind of looks like granulated sugar if you squint, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I can see it!” Kaito responded, before tentatively asking, “...Do you like stars?”

“I do,” you replied, taking another bite of your cookie. “Why d’you ask?”

“Oh, um,” Kaito hesitated, feeling a little bashful all of a sudden. You weren’t the type to just reject him harshly, but sometimes Kaito felt nervous in more intimate moments. When you genuinely seemed to return his affections (romantic or not) it made him feel valued as a human being, but it also made him nervous. “I was just wondering ‘cause there’s this place where you can see them really well, so I thought you’d want to go some time…”

“I would love to!” you beamed at him with a smile that could rival the sun. Kaito didn’t think the sun needed to shine if you were around. “You always do find the best places.”

Your words of validation made Kaito feel teary. You’d always been by his side, no matter what. You didn’t have to be his princess or anything like that. In fact, you’d saved him a lot of times before. Still… “I know I’m weak, and a coward,” he began, “But I really do want to become your knight in shining armor.”

In the end, Kaito never could become your knight in shining armor. Not when you’re gone like this. He couldn’t protect you and it tears him up inside. If he had trained and went on missions, would things be different? If so, why couldn’t the other ghouls help you instead? You deserve to be alive – you deserve it so much more than anyone else.

Kaito continues to wail inside his room, frustrated that he’s upset at other people not saving you – it’s him that couldn’t save you. It’s his fault. It’s all his fault and he’ll never be able to make it up to you.

He’ll never become your knight in shining armor.

For the first time since coming to Darkwick, Luca feels numb. He’s not sure how to cope with the fact that your death has come so suddenly. He had promised you that he’d help you absolve your curse, just like you promised him you’d help him subjugate a demon. Yet… you’re gone. You’re not here. You cannot keep your promise to him and he cannot keep his promise to you. It makes him feel hollow.

Luca has always felt that honesty was the best policy, which contributed to his straightlaced nature. He’s been called inconsiderate because of this and he’s lost people who could’ve been his friend. Him being a ghoul hadn’t helped, either, since he was the only ghoul back in Emrys Academy. When he came to Darkwick Academy, all he expected was to learn ways to subjugate a demon. Sure, it would’ve been nice to make friends, but Luca wasn’t going to get his hopes up. Not when he was so set on his goal to find his brother, at least.

Most aren’t understanding of Luca’s honesty and desire to bring back his brother, thinking his one track mind is a hassle. But you’ve never treated him like he was a nuisance. You’ve always greeted him brightly and worked with him. Whether you guys looked for information on curses and demons or practiced meditation for a clearer mind, you’ve been there.

But you’re not going to be there anymore, are you? Not when he’s meditating, not when he’s looking things up in the library, not when he needs the encouragement – you’re not going to be there.

He at least has hope that he’ll be able to bring his brother back. With you, he knows he can never bring you back. You’re gone, forever. You’ll never be there to experience anything with him anymore.

“We have experienced many joys and sorrows together since becoming friends. I’m very glad we met. I look forward to walking the road ahead with you,” Luca had said one day, while you two were meditating. While meditating, Luca couldn’t seem to clear his mind from thinking about you and all you’d done for him, so he thought it was only right for him to express it.

“Me too,” you responded, earnestly. Luca liked talking with you because you were candid with him, but patient. Even when he interrupted your meditation. “You’ve been a great ally to me, so thanks a lot, Luca.” You stretched your arms over your head, before staring at the setting sun. Sometimes, Luca wasn’t sure what went through your head.

“You’ve been a great ally to me as well.” Luca could scarcely remember people who tried as hard as you. He was duty-bound to a fault that he had trouble abandoning his mission, so he had trouble understanding people who wanted to run away. You were one of the few that came back despite wanting to run away. How could he not be impressed with you?

“That makes me glad to hear!” you replied, beaming brightly. Luca liked your smile. It radiated a warmth that reminded him of home. “Let’s keep doing our best!”

“Yes, let’s.” Luca watched as you kept your gaze on the setting sun. The soft colors of the sky were quite a sight to behold, but Luca wasn’t sure why it was distracting you.

“You know, Luca?” you called, as if you could read his mind. “They say that as long as you’re on Earth, you’ll see the same sun as the people you love. Isn’t that nice?”

Luca could be slow to pick up on things sometimes, but he wasn’t stupid. He could tell that those words were meant to console you after you’d been stripped from your family so suddenly (he’d come to understand the reasons for your desire to leave that day when you were working on your first case after many conversations with you). Yet, your words carried an undertone that implied that you told him about the sun to console him as well. Him, who was far from his family. Him, whose brother had gone missing. Him.

Those words were meant for him, but he cannot see the value in them now. Not when you’re no longer on this Earth. Not when you’re no longer alive. The sun still shines so brightly over Darkwick as if undeterred by your death. It pains Luca because time feels like it’s stopped for him, yet the world seems to move on. 

Luca closes his eyes, heart throbbing.

“I’m sorry… Yet again I have failed to protect the people most important to me…”

The first thing Tohma does when he hears of your death is smoke to calm his nerves. He’s counting down the minutes until Jin calls him, but Tohma can’t seem to shake the sudden burst of numbness that shoots through his veins.

He hates to admit it, but your death has shaken him up more than he’d like. Of course, he’ll have to hide it. He’ll have to get a hold of himself – especially since everyone else will be in a tizzy. But even though he knows this, he’s having a hard time controlling his own emotions.

You’re the only one who is stupidly earnest in everything you do, allowing him bits of amusement in his life. You’re the only one that’s helped him feel like he could forget everything he’s got to do and be. You’re the only one who tries to lift the burden on his shoulders. You’re the only one and it makes Tohma’s lungs feel empty.

What vermin had killed someone as lovely as you?

“Welcome to high society,” Tohma had said, taking your hand in his for a dance. “That outfit suits you well. With that poise, you’ll have no trouble fitting in here.” And he was right, you looked beautiful, like the belle of the ball.

“Aha, sure,” you murmured, wincing as you stepped on his foot. “Oh god, I’m so sorry! I’m still so bad at this…”

“Inexperience is not a crime,” Tohma responded, twirling you in his arms. “The important thing is choosing to not remain ignorant when you don’t know something.” While most would assume Tohma was talking about your dancing capabilities, you knew that he meant something beyond that, too. You were smart like that, after all, and so hardworking. You chose to not remain ignorant.

“You’re right.” You nodded. “I’m gonna do my best.”

“I look forward to your efforts,” he hummed. “And in times of difficulty, I hope you’ll turn to those around you for help. I will be there to keep you safe.”

Tohma takes another drag of his cigarette, watching as the smoke fills the room. He told you he’d protect you. He told you, didn’t he? And yet he couldn’t.

Perhaps a lowly servant like him could never have protected you in the first place.

At the news of your death, Jin’s first move is to slash though the expensive furniture in his room, unsure of where else to let his emotions explode. His hand tightens around his sword as he stabs his sword in the ground, visualizing whoever had the audacity to touch what is his.

How dare they hurt you? How dare they take you away from him?

You, who’s been so stupidly obedient to him without any expectation of riches or glory. You, who’s been stupidly kind to him despite his terse nature. You, who’s been by his side without complaint as long as he ordered it. 

“...I was too active yesterday. Massage me, servant,” Jin muttered, rolling onto his stomach to give access to his back. Without a word of complaint, you do as you’re told, though Jin couldn’t say you could be a masseuse anytime soon. “...What the hell was that? Put some muscle into it.”

“What? I’ve been told I give really good massages, though.”

Jin frowned. “From?”

“My dad.”

Jin snorted out a laugh. “Try harder.”

“Fine, fine,” you muttered, stretching your arms in front of you. “I’m gonna put my back into it!” Jin wondered if you’d actually be able to give him a proper massage, but the effort in itself was amusing (cute, even). Still, regardless of your massages, it was nice to have your hands on his back. He liked being close to you. “How was that?”

“It was fine.”

“What!” you exclaimed, incredulous, before grumbling, “You give a guy a massage and all he does is say it’s bad. Not even a word of thanks.”

With how you were yapping, you must’ve gotten quite comfortable with him. Jin couldn’t say he disliked it. “Never learn, do you?” he asked, rolling onto his back so that he can pull you on to the bed next to him. “I don’t take you being here for granted. I know it won’t last forever.”

Your eyes widened. “Huh?”

“That’s all I’m going to say.”

“Wha– you’re so–” you huffed, before shaking your head, seemingly pleased. “Fine, you win, your majesty. I suppose it's time for this servant to leave.” You made a move to get up, but Jin stopped you.

“I’ve got plans early tomorrow. Your house is too far. Stay here tonight.”

He still can’t forget the way you looked that night – bashful, sweet. He wanted to lock you in with him so that he could have you for as long as possible. Maybe he should’ve. He never took your existence for granted, valuing every second he’s spent with you, but when he said that he knew that your relationship wouldn’t last forever, he never thought it’d be because someone killed you. The thought makes hot rage course through his veins again.

He’s going to kill whatever bastard took you from him.

.

.

.

Faintly, your sage’s ring glows on your finger. 

It asks you a question it’s asked you many times before: “What do you desire?”

You answer the question exactly as you’ve answered it before: “I want to go back.”

The sage ring glows brighter in response.

You wake up on a train.

Your phone beeps.

[yatsurinamikaze]

Ch 1. Wreckin' Ball

Summary > One > Two

Aomine daiki x reader

You’re animatedly chatting with Alex while entering the basketball court, you look across the court at the ongoing game, trying to spot Taiga. Upon seen the redhead jumping the highest on the court, you scream waving your hand, “Taigaa!”

Your loud echoing voice gains everyone’s attention and all faces turn towards you.

This is when Aomine Daiki turns, and the moment he looks at your face, he’s blown away. He looks at your sundress and starts wondering who you are, he’s lost in his thoughts when suddenly WHAM! *Black Out*

You witness the change in wind as out of nowhere the ball comes at full strength and hits the tall guy (almost as tall as Taiga) out of nowhere. The man topples like a dead cartoon onto the court - unmoving.

The doctor in you runs towards him thinking, what the hell was that, where did that ball even come from, and with so much force. You start checking the man’s eyes for motion.

Aomine feels his ear wringing with pain. One second he was about to catch Tetsu’s ignite pass, the next he’s lying flat on the ground. He’s sure he’s dead. He slowly opens his eyes, and the blurry vision starts to fade away. He sees a worried you looking at him closely. He thinks, “Oh Im definitely in heaven. This can’t be real.”

He lifts his hand to touch the mirage that is your face, but Taiga takes that hand instead and lifts him to sit upright.

“Oh.” He turns to look at you. Wasn’t death afterall.

~~

Summary > One > Two

[eunoiaaaivy]

PREMIUM ECONOMY: A TRIP TO LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA WITH KAGAMI TAIGA! @vespersposts

╰┈➤thank you for visiting eunoia airlines! ah! another great trip for the lovable you! enjoy this trip with your love one as you roam around la with them! we hope you'll enjoy this trip and come back again!

songs to listen to: i. ii. iii. iv. v.

WARNING!! THIS CONTAINS SUGGESTIVE CONTENT, BEWARE I DON'T WRITE SMUT. JUST SUGGESTIVE FICS, AND THIS IS ONE SUGGESTIVE FIC. I HAVE CONSENT POSTING THIS FROM MY BEST FRIEND. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

D IS FOR DANGEROUS

cw: a bit suggestive, mentions of alcohol and alcohol consumption, a tinge of jealousy, mentions of insecurities, fluff, pet names (doll, love, baby, babe.)

a/n: IM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAYED POST, MY MENTAL WAS JUST NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACE TO WRITE. IT WENT LIKE THIS 📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉📉📉📈📉📈😭😭😭😭😭

kagami sipped on his wine glass, the taste gliding along his tongue. he felt the way it burned his throat a bit but his gaze was only focused on one person. you.

rather it was the person you're talking to.

you both went to los angeles for his game that was a few days away, and a concert of the arctic monkeys the week after. not this.

you were chattering all and about, yet he could feel the way his nerves were irking as he gripped the wine glass tighter. kagami burnt holes on the back of the man's head, somewhere within himself denying what he was feeling. jealousy.

he knew it was a contagious disease but he couldn't help it. why would he when kagami had you?

the booming music through this small bar-club typa building didn't even help at all. he could see from a few meters away his teammates, aomine with his girl, akaashi inspecting his surroundings, midorima sipping his drink with a distasteful look, murasikabara not having a care in the world as he was chewing the cherry and kuroko trying to stop kise from chugging down another drink. then he sees you.

talking to a man.

you suddenly came in to his life and stole his heart.

he had you, and you had him. your fingers wrapped around each other as your feelings were confessed on that night before.

kagami feels special as he looks at you, you were chortling and he couldn't even care about the man.

it made him feel special at the thought that you chose him out of everyone.

he felt so lucky, as if he just won a lottery prize as you cheer for him at his game, making him attain victory. he never knew were it started but you were the very person he needed.

the woman he loves who was the brightest star in his universe, a trophy that nobody has but him. to kagami, you were the river flowing down in a slow steady ocean in amsterdam. to kagami, you were the very air he breathes. the one who steadies him on the ground as the world crumbles behind him. you were his home.

kagami believed that love was an emotion that was passionate, something that everybody has to wait for. but when he looks at you, he can't help but be proud of the way he suddenly confessed his feelings back then. (albeit embarrassing to him.)

he could still remember the way your lips first felt like against his, hovering as if there's no tomorrow. kagami could still remember the way you wrapped him around your finger, forever stealing his heart as he did with yours.

it felt like yesterday, when the both of you were walking and he suddenly had the urge to clasped his hands around your much smaller ones. the beating of his heart against his ribcage and the clammy feeling of his hands wasn't something he'd forget. ever.

it already was embedded in his head the moment your delicate hands were wrapped around his calloused ones.

kagami could never forget this feeling. he will never forget the way he would get all jittery and nervous with the way you smile at him, or with the way you reserved a soft spot in your heart for him. like the way you did with yours, he had an even more softer spot for you.

anyone could see his gaze, kuroko was really wet from the rain yet he offered you his umbrella, leaving his light-blue haired partner sneezing the next day.

kagami could feel this feeling wouldn't fade. it was like you were his very memory his brain muscle can never forget, maybe like a broken record replaying over and over in his head.

it was no lie that you were really beautiful, yet a mystery to everyone. they couldn't fathom what was so different about you. they were intimidated with the way you gaze at them, yet the red hair saw nothing so different.

you were so perfect in his eyes.

everything, every moment and every second spent with you feels like time is slowing down. the laugh, the smiles, the echos of it all- you slow down time.

kagami could feel it, he feels like a kid- the happiness, the innocent touches, and the adrenaline rush. everything about it was so special to him.

it was like butterflies were the things he ate in the morning as he hears your laugh, even when his joke was so unfunny.

love consumed him. everybody could tell.

but what do they know?

do they know how you brighten up his day and make him so fuzzy? does everyone know that you make kagami so weak in the knees for you as you whisper sweet-nothings in to his ear as the monsters of insecurities come back crawling to him? would everyone know that your lips against kagami felt so right to him? that it felt so good?

you're the blood running along his veins, the pulse through his life. the heart his yearns for and has, and the way it pumped out with so much adrenaline and blood filling up his body. you're the seratonin that makes him much more happier and much more lively.

you were the adrenaline that rushed across his whole body as he plays basketball and he could hear, see you in the stands cheering wearing his jersey on. you were the the iron streaming along his blood. the one that functioned his heart beat everyday.

oh gosh, no dopamine swarming in his head can conquer his happy days with you.

and it makes him warm and fuzzy that you chose him. out of everyone. you could've chosen somebody rich and more good looking than him. somebody more who has self-control and discipline. but it goes all away out the window as you tell him "i love you and only you."

it feels like he won the lottery ticket that can conquer all his bills. yet he knows this isn't just a lottery ticket he won.

to kagami, you were much more than that. you were worth everything.

kagami could feel his jaw slacking as he sees you smile at the man. you know he's looking, yet you were teasing him with this.

clearly, you had no likes for the man. the wedding ring against your ring finger says so.

kagami knows your his. and only his.

but this man was no ordinary man, he could see the way this random man was looking you up and down. he even ignored kagami's presence when he walked up to you and dragged you away from where you were!

having enough of teasing the love of your life, you sauntered your way over to him with a smirk he's all too familiar with. that teasing smile of yours only pumping him up.

making your way to him, you let out a short chuckle with the way his arms immediately wrapped around your waist, wine long forgotten as he placed it on the side. he lowers his face to the crook of your neck where he could feel your pulse surging as he placed a lazy kiss over it, making you gulp and sigh from the sensation.

" were ya teasing me back there doll?" kagami mutters out lowly, face nearing below your collarbone. "if you're trying to make me jealous then it's working. you win the game now." his voice on your collarbone sent vibrations throughout your whole body as he placed another even more lazy kiss.

carding your way through his red tussles of hair, you chuckled at his admit of defeat, making him groan even more as his body came back to his full height. "aww, is my poor taiga jealous?" you teased out as you sent him a wide grin, only to receive a low growl from him.

"ofcourse i am, did you see the way he was looking at you? it was like he was a predator! i was ready to come swoop you out there!" taiga whisper-shouted in your ear as the grin on your face only widened.

"aw, but you know im only yours right?" you muttered out near his lips as your arms wrapped around his neck pulled him down to your height. breath fanning over his, making him groan lowly against your lips as you didn't make the move kissing him.

kagami's hand immediately went to the base of your neck, pushing it forward as your lips crashed on his. the kiss was sweet at first, which quickly turned passionate as he pulled you closer, hands around his neck as he circles small shapes at your sides.

kagami let's out a small groan as he feels you tug his crimson tussles, hands on your waist tightened more if that was even possible. you feel yourself move, kiss not breaking yet even when your back collided with the wall.

his teeth tugged at your bottom lip, biting it as you let out an incoherent sound. the loud sound of music filled both your ears but you didn't care as you tasted the wine he drank from before, you could feel his body all over yours.

taiga was so warm, like this kiss you were sharing. his hands being placed next to your head to the wall as his whole figure covered you from the view of the man you were talking to- paying him no mind.

your lover gave you no space to breathe as he pulled away but as immediately as he pulled away, he kissed you again. it was dangerous game to play like this with kagami-the jealousy of this man was really contagious.

but you loved the sensation he sent through your body as he places a few wet kisses on your jaw, making you sigh from the sensation as he lowered himself up to your neck to press more fervent kisses there before staring up at you.

"i wonder what goes through your mind, doll." taiga started as he finally went up to his full height. his red eyes stared at yours, eyeing you as if you were a prey as you stared back at him.

you hummed out as his hands went back to your waist, circling shapes around it as your hands were still wrapped around him. "you know how to rile me up. do you always have to do that so that you could get a big kiss from me? you could just ask me, you know?" he curiously asked, music so loud.

He knew what he wanted to say

But he didn't know how to word it

The dirty little Herbert was seeking an escape

The guiltiness that started

Soon as the other part had stopped

you smirked up at him, a glint in your eyes as you stared at him through your lashes. "baby what's the fun in that? plus you look hot when you're aggressive." you said out to him as he growled once more, tugging your waist as he lowered his face near your face again.

D is for delightful

And try and keep your trousers on

I think you should know you're his favourite worst nightmare

"if you wanted that then you could've said so, baby." kagami said so lowly near your ear, breath fanning over you ear lobe, making your face flush as he places his head on your shoulder.

you could feel taiga chuckle against your skin as it sent vibrations throughout your whole body, leaving you speechless. "speechless right now babe? im sure that man would've loved to hear more words from your mouth." he added as you groaned, face flushing as you buried your face on his toned chest.

"stop teasing taiga!" you squeaked out, face still flushed against his chest as kagami chuckled more. "but you did that to me, love. one can play the game too." he muttered out as you looked at him, cheeks coated with tinges of pink. kagami's smirk grew wider as he saw your face. victory.

"okay fine. you win!" you blurted out as he laughed, the sound making the flowers bloom once more in your chest. "that's what i thought. never knew los angeles was going to be fun this season!" he laughed out again, you soon joining as he left a small peck on your forehead.

los angeles was indeed fun this season.

and so was the kiss you shared with kagami.

d was really for dangerous.

you couldn't wait for more.

[lamnwar]

Ok I have another req! Could I request a fem reader x taiga who's used to guys only expressing interest in her body and sexuality and sexualising her so when taiga doesn't do that it makes her think that he isn't into her? Angst and miscommunication and misunderstandings but it gets resolved in the end!

Hiiii bby 💕 so so sorry I took so long to work on your request, it took me longer than expected bc the premise kinda hit too close to home and I had a hard time seperating my personal feelings from what I was writing 😭 here it is and I hope you enjoy it! I was very happy to write on Kagami for you again <333

Doubts // Kagami Taiga x Fem! Reader

Context: you're so used to boys sexualizing you that when a certain Kagami Taiga enters your life, you don't know what to expect from him anymore. Characters are aged up (18+) for plot context.

Warnings: college!au, angsty, reader is insecure, trust issues, implicit mentions of sex but nothing detailed so still sfw, Kagami being a bit oblivious, reader and Kagami have a little misunderstanding but it's resolved at the end <3 fluff towards the end bc I'm a romantic at the core 🥰

The sun hits your face as you get out of the lecture hall, the sweet scent of spring reaching you and giving you a false sense of rest. It doesn’t last long; the other students follow behind you, and soon enough you are stuck in a crowd that wander aimlessly, following the flow when really you should be walking the opposite direction. It’s noon, you should be going home to a miserable sandwich, take a quick nap and wake up wondering if you truly want to show up to the next lecture or just do nothing for the rest of the day.

A voice calls for you, and you turn around, tired eyes opening up slightly when you recognize the silhouette coming towards you. Taiga runs to you, big body forcing everyone to get out of his way so he can reach you. And he does, Taiga with his honest smile, and his old backpack nonchalantly hanging on his broad shoulders. You smile, though your body tenses up.

“Wanna have lunch with me?” he asks.

You are tempted to decline the invitation, like every time he comes to you. It’s more a reflex than what your heart truly wants, and you are fully aware of it. So in confusion, you urge yourself to give an answer:

“Was heading home to eat, actually” you say, hoping that he’ll let you go.

But he doesn’t because Kagami Taiga never does. It irritates you in some ways, probably because you can’t make sense of it. He’s not the kind to hang out with you now, is he?

Kagami Taiga has always been the “out of your reach” kind of person.  A handsome guy that walks the campus by turning all heads, yet he appears somewhat oblivious – or maybe he’s grown accustomed to the looks he gets at everything he goes. He’s the one people invite to their parties although they barely know him, and the one girls wish they could date one day. He’s all that, with his cool aura, a constant frown on his face that make him look more intimidating than he really is, and his reputation as the best basketball player the university has ever had.

So, considering all that, maybe it makes sense that you’re suspicious when he’s suddenly taken a liking to you. It cannot be without intentions, and you suspect that they aren’t pure. It’s just something you know. Men always disappoint you.

Your friends tell you that you are dramatic for making such statement, and you’ve wondered for a long while if you’re just not too pessimistic. At the end of the day, men are humans too, aren’t they? What is the point of assuming that they’re not capable of love, or rather, of loving you? You’ve struggled on multiple sleepless nights, grieving the false hopes you’ve built for yourself – just because a guy said the right words, and hold you the right ways, and made your heart pound at the right pace. It’s always started like a dream, too good to be true, you’d repeat to yourself. Because it never took long for your prince to turn into a frog, dropping you the moment he no longer found pleasure in your body. And the circle would start again, with a new guy, and new words, new feelings, till he nonchalantly confessed how you were nothing more than a piece of meat to him. Always a “hump and dump”, so are you wrong, to be suspicious of all men?

“You know, I wanna cook for you one day” Taiga’s voice resonates as you keep walking out of the campus to reach your place.

“Why would you want to cook for me, anyway?”

It’s a genuine question – something like that can hold so many meanings, so you wonder what it could signify for him. You have your own meaning of it: you’ll only cook for the one you love. A gesture of love, exclusive, and that you believe you’ll never get to make, considering how things are going for yourself.

“I’m a fucking good chef, for one, and it’d make me happy to see you eat my food” he replies with his usual straightforwardness.

The romantic undertones of his answer do not go unnoticed and your heart pounds in your chest, despite all your efforts of keeping it down. Every one of his words, every one of his actions, takes you back to the days when you were just a teenager having crushes and dreaming of the kind of romance that you’ve got to learn doesn’t exist in reality.

“Well… we’ll see about that” you reply, not wanting to reject him as the tiny glimpse of hope that he is genuine guides your actions.

He smiles, striking you right in your most sensitive spot – it’s hard not to smile back, but you’d be a fool to do so. He’s no different from the others, you repeat to yourself. Yet, here you are, walking in the soft sun of spring and honestly enjoying his presence. He doesn’t have to do much or say much, his aura somewhat soothing to you. You feel like you’re falling for a spell, aware of it but still uncapable of resisting it. You sigh, looking at the time on your phone as you rack your brain for a way out of here. It’s not quite that you want to leave Taiga, but more that you need to. You fear what will happen if you extend these simple moments with him, if you let your guards down and don’t think twice as the space between you gets smaller, and smaller.

So, you need to flee the situation. For your own sake, for your own heart. It hurts you to leave him, but you’re convinced there’s truly a greater purpose to you digging the distance between the basketball player and you. But you fail, and you really can’t bring yourself from stopping him from walking you home. For a second there, you look up at the sky like it holds these answers you’re seeking for.

It’s insane, how your heart beats at the simple thought of Taiga. His warm smile, the way his hand lingers on your waist when you walk together in crowds, his voice when he calls your name – all so confusing, yet so consuming. And then you stop and think back to all those who were there before him. Those who praised your body at night and ignored your soul in the daylight. Those who charmed you with smiles and words, making you feel at the top of the world for a second, and made you realized that you worthed no more than dust the next second. It’s always promises of stars in your eyes, till it turns out to be nothing but dreams. It’s destructive, this circle you’ve got yourself into inadvertently. And you hate yourself for letting it get the best of you. You hate yourself for letting it install all these doubts in your mind. Maybe you’re too cautious, maybe you’re running away from a true opportunity; there’s just no way of knowing for sure. It’s simply that you’re brought to lose all trust in men, and despite the warmth Taiga brings you, he can’t be an exception.

He can’t be right? It doesn’t matter how he makes you feel, he’ll hurt you, too… won’t he?

But under the soft rays of the sun, he’s no more than a human that you love. You may inch away from him at each step, but he doesn’t give up. And you wait in frustration that he shows himself to be no better than others. The moment he’ll touch you with clear intentions of consuming your body, or that he’ll outright tell how you’re nothing more than an attractive body. He’s yet to say or do anything of that sort – does he even like you, in any way? Taiga has always kept a fair amount of distance, despite never leaving your circle. He stays in proximity, yet never comes to close, and you keep waiting for the moment he’ll reach and turn your fear into reality. You always wonder why he doesn’t do like the others, when he’s had countless of occasions to act. He’s never once let his fingers linger longer than needed on your waist, he’s never once looked at you with lustful eyes, he’s never once made a suggestive comment. But he doesn’t go away either, and here you are, confused and struggling.

“You never give me straightforward answers when you I invite you to stuff” he lets out.

You slow down, struggling to hide your reaction upon the realization that he’s somewhat noticed that habit of yours. Granted, you’re probably not as sly as you think you are. After months of him suggesting things that you may do together, and you answering in the most elusive way possible, maybe it shouldn’t be such a surprise that he’s noticed that pattern of yours.

“I really don’t, do I?” you try to laugh yourself out of the spotlight.

Yet, you fail. He’s caught you, and you still have to figure out how much has he picked up on.

“Well, you know me” he stops mid-sentence to stretch his arms.

You don’t say anything. Do you truly know him, you wonder. He seems to think so, but at the same time, it might just be a ruse. For all you know, you can’t never truly know someone. You don’t see how he’ll be any different.

“Just say it, if I piss you off” he reprises, “I’ve never been good at reading minds.”

“You don’t annoy me” you reply immediately, before you can even think of an answer.

It’s like something has taken over you, a part of you you’d usually repress for you believe it’s incapable of making sensible choices. You sigh, as a silence settles between both your bodies. Only the chirping of the birds and the sounds of cars passing by interrupt the quiet. It’s not comfortable at all. If anything, there’s a lot left unsaid. After each step, each breath, each side glance at each other, you feel the tension build up.

“Hey, d’you even like me?”

Taiga’s voice sounds up, snapping the tension in a sharp move. You’re defenceless, but somehow fishing for a semblance of barricade to build up.

“You can’t ask that kind of silly questions…”

“You can’t keep being avoidant like that.”

“Fuck.”

He’s really got you cornered. For some reason, the more it goes, the more you feel yourself crumbling. You feel like crying, yet tears don’t fall. You just have the feeling that at any point, you’ll just falter and break in tiny pieces in front of him.

“Yeah… you know what? I better stop right now. I sound like a fucking looser trynna pass for a nice guy. Sorry for being a bitch about my own doubts. They have nothing to do with you.”

You furrow your brows, stopping in your walk as you register his words.

“Are they real?” you ask.

“Huh?”

“Your doubts… are they real? Or are you just saying that to make me feel something?”

He ogles at you, seemingly shocked by your words.

“The fuck you’re saying? I just feel like I like you more than you do, that’s just it.”

“Yeah, but do you really like me, Taiga?”

You sniff, your deepest thoughts cracking through your barricade.

“Yes I do! I thought I was being obvious enough” he replies, eyebrows raised in incredulousness.

“Pardon me, but it’s hard to believe so” you reply, not daring to confront his gaze. “Guys like you…”

You stop before finishing your sentence. It hurts you to say these words to someone that you love despite everything. And you feel stupid enough for loving him, like you haven’t learned your lesson yet. You shouldn’t let him in, he’ll use you and leave you, like they all do.

“Hey…” Taiga’s is voice is soft in your ears, comforting, exactly what you need at this instant which makes you even more cautious of him.

“Leave it, Taiga. You don’t have to comfort me” you say as you take a step back. “You don’t have to be nice to me at all, actually. It’s pointless, because…”

You take a breath, wondering why it’s so hard to speak, yet as soon as you open your mouth, it feels like an unstoppable flow of words. Just all your deepest insecurities coming to the surface and embracing you in their vile hands, to the point where you are nothing but your fear of being used by someone you love.

“The moment you’ll realize you can’t get what you want of me, you’ll leave, anyways. They always do, guys like you.”

For a moment, neither of you speak. You can’t say more for your part, and as for him, he doesn’t know what to say. It’s rather conflicting; should he defend himself, or take you in his arms? Or should he, simply, walk away if the sight of him hurts you so much? Despite everything, he finds himself unable to move anywhere further from you. It’s like some force drives him to stay by you, even if you might hate him.

“I’m sorry” he finally says.

If you dare look at his eyes, you might be surprised by the sight. The flame that usually shines so bright in his eyes is almost inexistent, replaced by the wavering glimmer of humid eyes. Your overly cautious self isn’t quite sure what these words mean. It could be an admission of guilt, and that prospect shatters your heart in countless little pieces.

“What for?” you risk yourself asking.

“For not showing you properly how I feel about you. Have I been more straightforward… you’d probably think of me differently. You wouldn’t have to love me back, either way, but I’d have the comfort of knowing that you knew that I was genuine” he answers, hands digging in his pockets. “And I’m sorry I can’t prove myself to be better than the assholes who’ve treated you like shit before. Just say the word, and I’ll go. Or say nothing, there’s meaning to that, too.”

He doesn’t say a single word after that, the sound of cars passing by crashing between your two silent bodies. You feel the tears well up in the corner of your eyes, almost spilling but being kept there, on the edge of your eyelids. The seconds pass by faster than you want them to while you are yet to say or do anything. The more time passes by, the more Taiga feels something break in him. He’s never been really good at relationships – he isn’t a reader of people, and up till recently, he’s never really taken the time to reflect on the way he feels. But things somewhat changed when he met you, the heat you brought to his heart being a novelty he’s been on a quest to understand. And then he figured that it must simply be love. Maybe he’s been expressing it wrong, maybe he should have been more observant, he would have caught on the signs that you’ve lost all trust in others.

It takes everything in him to take a step away from you. Kagami Taiga has never been the kind to give up. But he still fights against himself and move, digging the distance between you. And at the sight of his tall frame going away, your hand reaches forward by itself. You tug at his t-shirt, forcing him to turn around to look at you. Teary eyes stare at each other as your fingers don’t let go of the fabric of his t-shirt.

“Could you… could you hold me then? Just once, to show me that you truly like me.”

Your request surprises him. Everything till now has been convincing him that you need him the furthest away from you, yet, when he looks at your pleading eyes, he realises that this might just be his window. Before he truly has to let you go, he should hold you the way he’s always wanted to.

And he does, strong arms pushing you towards his chest where you hear the erratic beat of his heart. You cry, as his fingers pat your head with a gentleness that you’ve always been craving. You don’t want him to let you go, and by the way he holds you, he doesn’t either. That much is made clear to you, and here in Taiga’s embrace you figure for once that maybe, yeah maybe, someone can truly love you.

“I don’t like you, dummy. I love you” his voice sounds smoothly in your ears.

Truer words have never been spoken to you, and they go straight to your aching heart, somehow mending it back together.

“You do?”

“Yeah, and I’ll prove it to you every day till there’s not a single doubt left in your pretty head.”

[shoyoackerman]

Just kuroko opening his old photo albums, looking back at his time in middle school. Seeing the photos of him with the miracles before everything changed. How happy and innocent they all seemed.

And then seeing the gradual changes in the photos as well. How Aomine stops appearing, and then so does everyone else until the photos stop being taken.

Until kuroko attends seirin and he makes friends and has a new light. And suddenly the blank pages are now filled with new friends and a new relationships.

But then Kagami leaves and life isn’t as bright anymore, it’s gotten a whole lot dimmer. But he still has everyone else, including the miracles.

But…

But overtime as everyone gets older. As they move onto university and jobs they stop meeting up. Promising to go out next time. That they were sorry for the late text, they’ll get back to him later.

Until they just stop replying.

And now the photo albums gather dust in the box he keeps in the cupboards.

[dira333]

Kagami - unravel

repost of my AO3 30 days of writing Challenge

warning: angst

You only know what you have when you lose it. As a kid, the greatest riddle to him was how to make friends. „Be yourself.“ Tatsuya told him, so that’s what he did. It worked, kind of, but Kuroko made him understand that he also had to work on himself, learn how to trust, and be helpful. It took him even more time to unravel the mystery of friendship, but at age 30 he was the one lecturing his daughter on how to make friends in school.

As a teenager, a lot of his free time is spent wondering about love. What it is. How it could be achieved. Did he have to look for outer beauty? Alex told him no, but no one ever guided him in finding this inner beauty everyone talked about. He’s a bit ashamed that it was Akashi who taught him the most important things, at one of Kise's stupid parties, where they hid on the balcony to escape the madness and somehow started to talk. Akashi can be pretty nice and helpful if he wants.

At the age of 20, in the middle of his college years, he scores a date with the help of – no wonder – Akashi. She’s beautiful on the outside, yes, but she’s kind and a bit shy but speaks her mind if needed. She’s a riddle to him, yes, because he can never fully grasp the beauty of her mind.

He finishes college, somehow manages to play in a team with Aomine and not kill this guy every single time in practice – and marries the love of his life. Kuroko is his best man, Akashi smiling wickedly in the distance and telling everyone that the lovely couple wouldn’t be together if not for him. Well, he doesn’t really say it. He doesn’t need to, everyone already knows.

When his daughter is born, a redheaded ball of energy, every miracle in the world does not come up to her. There’s no way to explain what he feels when he sees her, when he holds her, when he knows that she belongs to him, just like his wife.

When Sacchi is one year old, the biggest task in his life is thrown upon him. He ponders how he will survive the next minute, the next hour… the next day. He worries if he can be a single father, how he has to fill the empty place where you should be. Death is a simple word, five letters, but it shatters lives.

Riddles are a funny thing. Life seems to him like threads upon threads, a messy knot, and even if you manage to unravel one knot, there are always so many more.

He’s thirty now, a single father. Sacchi is four, just starting to make friends on the playground, fighting against the shyness she has from her mother. The Generation of Miracles, he muses, consists of six people. And somehow, he muses that it must be Akashis doing, every single day he gets visited by one of them. They have done that for years now and if you count in his old teammates from Seirin, who visit just as frequently, and Tatsuya, who he is still very close… yes, Sacchi has a lot of uncles and aunts. It doesn’t fill the place of her mother, but it’s helping.

Kagami Taiga knows now how to make friends. How to keep them. Theoretically, he knows how to find love – although he still isn’t in the shape to try again soon – and he is starting to think that he knows now, how to survive a tragedy. Be yourself. Trust. Love. Try again.

[ladsofsorrow24]

Listen to the noise of your heart And never let go in the midst of dreams

[euyrdice]

tiny knb relationship thoughts ☆

kise + kagami | bring out strengths in one another without hurting one another. aokise reminds me of the "we make each other alive. does it matter if it hurts?" quote. but kise and taiga can have such a fierceness and fire in between them while also keeping a friendliness and clear mutual respect and affection for each other. (like kise's wolfish grin and "you bastard" during the second kaijo v seirin, his glowing eyes and smile when taiga gave his 'this is our story' speech, kise's veiled pep talk to taiga and taiga's “kise...” during yosen v seirin, taiga's panicked frustration for kise during the haizaki game). plus the certain softness taiga has, that i think pairs really well with kise, kise's sensitiveness specifically.

kise + midorima | shin really brings out a seriousness in kise, a sincerity, where it seems kise doesn't feel like he has to put on any masks, be someone he's not, or try to impress shin (which is how it feels often with aomine). they care for each other so subtly, understand and know one another, and have a comfortableness and familiarity with each other thats so quiet, almost feels inherent. a really quiet sort of intimacy, constant and sometimes awkward in how they show affection to each other.

[discordia-eris]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aomine Daiki/Kagami Taiga, Kagami Taiga/Momoi Satsuki Characters: Aomine Daiki, Kagami Taiga, Momoi Satsuki Additional Tags: One-Sided Attraction, Angst, Prompt Fic, Implied Relationships, Not Beta Read Summary:

An angst prompt: "I love seeing you happy. Yet, I hate that I'm not the one to make you smile. I want to laugh when you do, yet I want to cry because that laugh isn't mine. It never will be, will it?"

[knbposting]

me: finishes the confession fic to a long series of slow burn aokaga fics

me, immediately: time to write some angst

[ballblender]

Selfish - A KagaKuro Angst

Preface: hello hello i know i have not posted in a while, but I AM GONNA MAKE THIS A COMEBACK (maybe)

This can be interpreted as a ship post, or not, it doesn't really matter imo, kagakuro is cool tho.

cw: angst (obviously), kagami + kuroko are in their second year, selfish kuroko and kagami, both people are at fault, more story-central than relationship-central, kagami doesn't have a good relationship with the GOM.

"Hey, where's Kuroko?"

It seemed at if saying that question was just part of what made you a member of the Seirin basketball team. Nobody could count the amount of times that the team would go out, whether it be to train, to play a match, or even the hot springs, and have Kuroko go missing as soon as they leave.

"Kagami, do you know where he went?" Koganei asks.

Kagami sighs and shrugs. Despite having a good relationship with Kuroko, he still views him as an enigma.

"Seriously, we can't go out without him sneaking off. It's getting ridiculous." Riko admits, tapping her shoe on the sidewalk in frustration.

Kagami grunts softly. He knows it's true, but he can't help himself defending Kuroko at every turn, even if he did used to get equally angry in situations like these, especially earlier in their first year.

Hyuuga sighs, "He's not picking up his cell either. Come on, let's all split up and look for him. Meet back here in 30 if you haven't found him." The team groans, but obeys, splitting up.

Kagami wanders down the street, scanning passersby for that unique shade of baby blue hair.

It doesn't take long for him to spot Kuroko, practicing his dribbling and shooting in a public court.

However, instead of meeting Kuroko with the usual smack over the head, followed by a collar-pull back to the metting spot, Kagami walks over, calmly but solemnly. Honestly, it's a bit scary.

"Hey, Kuroko."

Kuroko flinches, and turns around.

"Kagami..."

The two of them stand in silence, Kuroko's eyes fixated on Kagami's face, as Kagami's eyes fixate on the ground.

After a moment of silence, "...are we meeting up with the other-"

"Why are you so selfish?"

"E-eh?" Kuroko flinches, "W-what do you mean...?"

Kagami stares at him, his eyes filled with, a sort of anger, one that mixes with a subtle sadness too.

"You...y-you can't do this all the time."

"Do what...?"

Kagami scowls.

"Do...this. Sneaking off on us all the time, and having to have our seniors and classmates look for you. It's not fair on them."

Kuroko looks to the side, conflicted.

"I'm only trying to improve myself, for the team." He remarks, though softly.

"But don't you realise how selfish you can be?"

"Stop calling me that."

"But you know that it's true. You know it, even when we started out, you already told me how I'd be 'The Light to your Shadow', and overtake the Generation of Miracles. But you didn't actually care about me, knowing them now, I fucking hate those guys, don't want to be anything like them. You just promised me that so you could get your revenge on them for how they decided to play back in middle school, that's selfish."

"T-that's not true, I-"

Kagami starts to tear up, "And now that I've been thinking about it, basically everything I've done related to basketball in the last year was because of you. It's like I have no control over my own playstyle. Even though winning with the others feels great, it's like I can't play without them."

"...why is that a bad thing?"

"Think about it. Our strength as a team has already decreased ever since Kiyoshi left because of his knee. And what about our seniors? They gradute this year, and once they're gone, we're the ones who have to build the team back up again. I've trained so hard to get to where I am now...but you. You've essentially kept the exact same style as you have from middle school up until this point, and you don't think that's selfish?" Kagami practically yells.

Kuroko scowls, his voice starting to uncharacteristically increase in volume, "That isn't true. I've trained just as hard as you have."

Kagami wipes his furious tears. He knows Kuroko is right, he has trained a lot, and opened Kagami's eyes to a whole new perspective when playng basketball, but inside of him, there's still that urge within him to completely dominate the court through sheer force alone, like he did in America. So how is it fair that Kuroko can maintain his own playstyle, and not him?

"...find your own way home today, I'm leaving." Kagami mutters, leaving Kuroko alone on the court, his own tears starting to brim in his eyes.

"Did you find him?"

"...no, I didn't."

---------------

a/n: I hope you enjoyed, I am a massive fan of the characterisation and motivations of the KNB cast, and wanted to show some of that here! <3 (hope i did them justice)

[yatsurinamikaze]

Love or whatever

Summary: You’re visiting Tokyo from US, around the Olympics. Will the typical mundane flirting turn into something more?

Aomine Daiki x Reader

Angst, Fluff, Slice of Life, Suggestive, NSFW, MDNI. I repeat, MDNI.

-

Chapter 1: Wreckin' Ball

Chapter 2: Nice to meet ya.

Chapter 3: Feel it Still.

[hunterxmilo]

Kagakuro Month 2022 Day 14 (CHALLENGE)

Even though going back to America to pursue becoming a professional basketball player was what Kagami dreamed of, it’s still a challenge leaving your friends, practically family, behind. However his shadow knows this isn’t goodbye forever.

[shoyoackerman]

dragon shifter Kuroko and dragon hunter Kagami… 🤭 plus Kuroko poses as Hanamiyas adopted younger brother when he saved his father in dragon form.

And he’s best friends with Aomine whose son of a prominent hunter.

[dira333]

Himuro Tatsuya - Calling

repost from my AO3 30 Days of Writing Challenge

warning: angst

It’s 1:23 am when he opens his eyes. He doesn’t even have to look at this phone. It happens every night. He wakes up and the first thing he does is reach out to you. But your side of the bed is empty. There’s no one hogging the sheets, no cold feet pressed against his calves, no strands of hair in his mouth because he always presses his face into your neck when you sleep. He blinks, confused like he does every night. He feels weird because he definitely thought that you called his name. He gets up and walks towards the kitchen. It’s 1:25 am and it’s perfectly normal to find you in the kitchen making waffles. Midnight waffles were your favorite meal of the day and he loved it too, hugging you from behind when you stood there, only wearing one of his shirts. But the kitchen is empty and his apartment is tiny. He halts and remembers that he’s in America, that he came back for a year. He gets back, pulls out his phone, calling you. It’s 1:26 am and he remembers that his alarm might go off every minute so he won’t miss your call. He dials your number, and waits patiently. „The number you’ve called does not work anymore.“ He hangs up, checks the ID, and calls again. After the third time, he gives up, goes through his contacts, and halts at „little brother“. It rings four times. „Whatissit?“ Taigas voice is deep and gruff and tired. „It’s me, Tatsuya. I wanted to call…“ „Go to sleep.“ „What?“ „Go to sleep. We can talk in the morning.“ „You don’t understand, I need to call her right now!“ „No, Tatsuya, I understand very well. Go to sleep, please.“ Taiga sounds so desperate and he nods without thinking. „But Taiga, I’m not even tired.“ „There are some pills on your nightstand. Take one and drink a glass of water.“ „Okay… sorry for waking you.“ „No problem. Just go to sleep.“

When Taiga wakes him up in the morning, there’s laughter in the kitchen, defintely female, followed by the voices of children, a girl and a boy. „Hey, you okay?“

And Tatsuya looks at him and he remembers. That he isn’t in America anymore. That he lives in Japan again, just a street away from Taiga, his wife and their two little kids. He’s uncle Tatsuya. He’s thirty years old, single, not a widower, because his fiancé died before their wedding. He knows all this and he’s okay, really, he is.

But never at 1:25 am.

[aayakashii]

Tokyo Debunker fics and headcanons masterlist:

touch starved – Alan Mido x MC: part 1, part 2, part 3

the house never loses – Romeo Lucci x MC

the way to a man's heart is through his stomach – Sagara Haru x MC

late nights headcanons 🔞: Zenji, Alan, Haku, Haru, Taiga

MC that is just like Jack Howl from Twisted Wonderland

giving them a cute little plushie headcanons: Jabberwock boys; Jin, Leo, Haku, Taiga and Romeo; Subaru, Alan, Sho and Kaito; Luca, Ritsu, Tohma, Zenji, Rui, Ed and Lyca

routine – Kagami Subaru x MC

dating heacannons – Leo, Jin and Haku, Tohma

my pictures of you – Yandere!Sagara Haru x MC

bluecid – Kamurai Jin x Frostheim student angst/unrequited love

tastes like mint – Ishibashi Tohma x MC: chapter 1, chapter 2

indirect kiss – Mizuki Rui x MC: part 1, part 2

gilded – Yandere!Romeo Lucci x MC

neapolitan – Lyca Colt x MC

soft beats to feed your baby anomaly to – mostly MC with Peekaboo

frostbite – Yandere!Kamurai Jin x MC

cherry hard candy – Edward Hart x MC 🔞

too cute to be a bad boy - Haizono Sho x MC

MC with sh scars (TW): part 1, part 2, part 3

What kind of yandere are the Tokyo Debunker boys?

Drabble event

(maybe) distance makes the heart grow fonder (?) – a lot of angst, depressed mc and probably no romance: part 1, part 2

How would they react if you received a confession from another student? – yandere headcanons

untitled Haku angst

untitled Ren short fic

How do they ask for your consent? – 🔞 headcanons

violence sometimes might be the answer – platonic Lyca x MC

pink – Yandere!Pervert!Ren 🔞

granite and soft sand – angsty Alan x MC

Extra stuff:

Tokyo Debunker cats sticker pack

The transparent pngs for the cat stickers

More stickers (chibis and kigurumi)

Tokyo Debunker House Assignment quiz

List of Tokyo Debunker fanfic writers