#kadeuhq

[kadeuxhyeonju]

How are you feeling about the resistance right now? Do you wish they'd do more? Less? What about your personal involvement; do you wish you could do more?

So nosy, aren’t you? Well, I suppose I’m in a sharing mood. Honestly? I think the resistance could do more than they have. I’ve been part of their ranks for well over fifty years and yet the change they promised me and many others has yet to come. In fact, Kadeu is worse off than when I first joined. A civil war in one faction, a usurped demonic tyrant in another, a psychotic bastard running mine, and another that sits on its ass hardly doing much save for the occasional handout to low rankers. You would think the resistance would make strategic attacks, utilize their high ranker supporters more fully, protect their low rankers more efficiently, and yet...sigh...I find myself struggling not to voice my frustrations half the time. Do I wish they’d do more? Absolutely. But I am no leader, nor do I have any desire to be. I’ll continue to trust them and follow their orders so long as they continue to, at the very least, try. But I am growing tired of waiting and following and working my ass off only to be met with empty results. There’s only so much patience I have and I have very little of it to begin with.

If being more involved and making riskier choices is what it takes to make the resistance move and be one step closer to removing these damn tattoos from my person, I’ll gladly take up arms and do so. I left Spade because I despise fighting and the one braincell mindset of that faction, but it does have its uses--like helping organize fighters, spies, info dealers, finances, and the like. I used to deal in paperwork, but was also a dueling instruction as an assistant so maybe I could do something in either of those fields? Smuggling is also an option I suppose. I do that sometimes just to see if I can get away with it. I was sometimes a spy while working in the brothels, though they’d probably only be able to put me among high rankers now. Honestly, give me any job if it means making the resistance move faster and more efficiently. I don’t mind getting my hands dirty--not if it means breaking this curse and tearing factions out by their roots. And who knows? maybe I’ll get the pleasure of taking down an Ace or two...

[evaxsombra]

If you could regain your eyesight, would you? How high of a price would you be willing to pay if so?

I...I’m not sure. Everyone always told me my eyes couldn’t be fixed so I’ve just lived my life accepting that. And it hasn’t been that bad, don’t get me wrong. Sure, I think a lot of my struggles came from the fact I couldn’t see the world like everyone else. It made it harder to survive. I had to leave my first home because of it...and maybe my blindness is the reason my parents left....But a huge part of me is used to my life like this. I met my family and friends because of my blindness. My fighting style is centered around the fact I’m blind. I love the way I “see” the world with my other senses. And while maybe I would’ve become a Shifter faster with eyesight, I definitely wouldn’t have chosen the animals I did if I could see. I wouldn’t have Chupa! I wouldn’t have Prospero or Lilith. I wouldn’t be a Spade. So I guess my initial answer is no, but...

Do you mind if I tell you a secret? 

I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to see. Everyone is always talking around me about things I can’t really understand. People talk about how pretty the snow looks covering the mountains in winter. What does that look like? I know mountains are big and snow is white and trees are usually green or naked in the winter, but there’s no image in head to go with the description. I have to fill it in with my other senses. Or when I go to the Palace, I love listening to the voices, the movements, the shift in the atmosphere. It’s amazing! But so often, there’s these moments that happen that the audience is reacting to something that I can’t see and it can hard when there’s no one to describe what’s happening to me. There’s gaps I have to fill that make it hard to enjoy the play sometimes. 

I try not to let it get to me and most of the time I think I do a pretty good job of appreciating what I do have and what I can do. But in those moments...I can’t tell you how strong that feeling is--the longing to have my eyesight. Just shy of sacrificing my loved ones, I’d give up anything to see, even if just for a moment. And yet...I’m so scared of what I’ll see, that the shadows that are always around me will be even more terrifying when I can put names and faces to them. And I feel like my entire life has been defined by my blindness--my fighting style, my animals, the family and friends I’ve made, the scars--I’m afraid of who I’ll be when the one thing I’ve been certain of my entire life...disappears.

[gowyuko]

What’s The Most Beautiful Place You’ve Ever Seen?

A glance to the left, another one to the right, then back to where the voice came from as Gowyu made sure he was the one being spoken to. The men at either side of him seemed to also be watching him right back, as if they just knew this was going to be something that left Gowyu perplexed, and not in a positive way. Gowyu leaned back in the black leather material of his chair, quite comfortable, it made for great support, and made him feel even more above whatever was happening around him. Whether he indulged himself or not, that did not mean that people were allowed to simply talk to him or even worse present him with foolish questions. If this was a new face around here who simply did not of how things worked with him, Gowyu wouldn’t know, even keeping track of the ones who he’d met more often was lost on him. If he remembered you, chances were, the reasons for that were favorable. At least not for the remembered party. 

But back to this nonsense. 

“You must be the kind of lunatic that no one wants to think even exists to have the nerves be asking me something as nonsensical, and looking at me like you really think I’m going to give you an answer.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he went on, keeping a steady gaze on them, enough to have the satisfaction of having them glancing nervously around the room, which of course, no one would give Gowyu or this person the satisfaction of acting like they were on board with him. 

The cigarette he had in his hand was lightly tossed at the person who had spoken, the distance between them would not allow it to land on them, and that was not because of their luck. Gowyu rose from his seat and turned back on his heels to find a quieter spot, away from the smoke and drugs laid out in front of the group leisurely laying about the couches, or the carpet available in the room. Tonight was not a business night, see, he was simply there to be there. If a surprising offer fell on his lap, he would welcome it, no doubt about it. Until then he might want to avoid the likes of these weak minded slums thinking about the most worthless shit to exist in this world, and growing braver from the influence of whatever they were snorting or smoking. 

[croupiex]

a shifter’s fortune — is there anything about your life right now that you wish to change?

the façade: “Given the fair pricing of potatoes, I wish I enjoyed them more than I do”.

➵　factcheck! this is a lie. Cassius has no intention of ever enjoying potatoes. they taste like nothing.

the candid truth: “Well, what can I change? The colour of my hair? My wardrobe? The layout of my bedroom? I don’t have the freedom to make an entire lifestyle change beyond ‘be better’ unless I’m content fucking off and living as a hermit in Umibe”.

[lukef]

When do you feel the most in control?

cassius.

the name shoots through his head within seconds. when i’m with cassius would have been his reply two or three months ago. before his parents passed, before they had the fight. the fear in the human’s eyes, the way he stepped back because of the rising temperature. 

luke’s apartment is dark. he’s sitting where cassius sat months ago, on the chair next to the window of his living room. the blinds are pulled down halfway and the rest of the light shows his eye bags, his pale skin. he’s both restless and weak, hasn’t really found peace since the announcement he received that morning. he doesn’t even dare to think of sleeping, has already accepted what is yet to come. there’s no fire emitting his hands, nothing like the usual. no heat radiating off his body. he is as vulnerable as a human and everyone who wanted could take advantage of that right now.

so when does he feel the most in control? when he’s like this, mana channels not functioning? or when he’s with cassius, knowing that something could happen every second? when he’s with his grandfather, the only person he trusts to fight back, to be able to protect himself all of sudden?

it’s as if the fresh burn wounds are pulsing on his back. the thought of the pain brings him back to reality, makes him take a few deep breaths before he sorts his words and settles for an answer.

who said i ever felt in control.

“oh..there’s this one person, one person that makes me feel in control. i know they’re as afraid as everyone else, but there’s something about them..that makes me feel safe.”

and maybe when he’s with asra, too. 

but only a little.

[saygeko]

wreathed in orange — is there someone you trust so much, you’ll follow them blindly?

wreathed in orange — is there someone you trust so much, you’ll follow them blindly?

"My own fortune." She said, and no other word followed after. It wasn't someone else but herself. If she was doomed, then let it come.

[mallickshah]

What have you learned about life from kids?

Mallick had always been surrounded by children. From his own brothers, to his cousins, to his nephews, they seemed to be a big part of his life, and that was absolutely true. He also tended to enjoy mixing himself with their lots, soaking in that very essence of joy they carried without a worry for what the world offered. If they worried for a bit, something small given to them would be valuable enough to quiet their sorrows. The same could be said for if they were content with life, just a bit of a shake to their world could be enough to have them bawling as if it was the end of their existence. 

Their emotions ran high and low, they were not the kind to stay still in the middle. It was always this or that, now or never. The biggest of gestures could be considered with eyes that understood none of it, but a simple warm embrace could linger in their memory for years to come and they would always seek it whenever they saw you again. What had he learned about life from kids? That to take in the present, in the way it was, find the grasp on the moment one was living now and not think of the ones that were to come, made life easier, and richer. 

“That when you get hurt,” And he was going to say this with the biggest grin, and a bit of cheek for his companion, but it was not a mockery from his part. “You just need to cry about it and get something sweet to make things better afterwards.”

[kadeuyongsun]

(  @kadeuhq​ : how have sunny's romantic and sexual relationships shaped them ? from mun's point of view ? from sunny's ?  )

     from sunny’s point of view, there was a time when he tried to not put too much emphasis on any romantic or sexual encounter. he tried his damnedest to not let them effect him in any way, because to him, they hadn’t meant anything. he spent a lot of time when he was younger in the red light district ( something he prefers to keep hush - hush, the only people who really knows being sully and anton, he’s even kept it hidden from ara ) ; none of those encounters meant anything. he was at his worst back then, struggling to cope with damn near everything that was happening in his life, and that resulted in him turning towards ... unsavory activities. with that being said, though, those moments taught him that he couldn’t use sex to fill whatever void he had in his soul. and then he met sullivan, when sunny thought he was at his absolute WORST after everything that’d been happening with byeol, and things were ... different. it became the first relationship he ever had that was a genuine slow - burn, that actually felt like it meant something. when sunny realized he’d caught genuine feelings for sullivan, he really kicked his ass into gear. this is not to say that sullivan saved him, particularly, but that sullivan helped sunny in saving himself. it was the first time someone ( besides ara, of course ) truly stuck by his side and saw it through that he begin to better himself. sullivan brings the young, dumb actor an overwhelming amount of ease and comfort, that he never truly thought possible. yongsun has a long string over lovers that are subpar at best, but being with sullivan is the first time he’s felt genuine love.

                              —————

     from clown town’s point of view, i think that all relationships and bonds that sunny has formed are very important to him, and have shaped him in different ways. of course, he’s fallen madly in love with sullivan and he’s pretty sure there’s nothing in this world that could change that, but more importantly ... the platonic bonds are what have shaped him and changed them the most. his bond with ara has taught him to see the bigger picture and appreciate things ( especially himself ) more than he ever did in the past, his friendship with anton is ... quite frankly, hilarious, but also essential in helping sunny see past the veil that are the rose - colored glasses he wears on the daily. and when it comes to sullivan, i think that ... sunny, in a way, has changed for the better ? he’s learned to love harder, fiercely, with every fiber of his being. he’s learned what it’s like to truly fear losing a lover, and wanting to be the best version of himself he can be, and i think that’s important for someone like sunny. sunny spent a lot of his life in the dark and used to getting exactly what he wanted, especially when he worked his ass off for it, but falling in love with sullivan was one of the easiest things he’d ever done. that boy genuinely means the world to sunny, and i could probably rant about them for days, BUT Y’KNOW ... the way sunny cares about everyone in his life has shaped him and changed him in a million different ways, and i’m glad that he’s got people in his life that make him want to be better.

[scnreiis]

What does Rei need right now? From mun's point of view? From Rei's?

Personally, I feel like what Rei needs is to let things go and start over a little bit. She definitely dwells on the past a lot and I feel like she needs to let that go. 

Rei thinks she needs to find her dad and once she does that, she’ll be able to find a little bit more about herself. She feels like once she actually knows where the other half of her comes from, she’ll feel a little bit more aware of her own identity.

[kadeuyuki]

🍁 — What is your New Years Resolution?

“To increase in rank.” Her grin was wide and her response without hesitation; not even the thickly layered foundation that sat atop her fair skin could conceal the stressed lines present on her forehead, however. “I heard there was a ball. It was all the clients at the bank could talk about.” As her eyes shone in annoyance and her words dripped with a toxic concoction of bitterness and false delight, Yuki twirled a nearby pen between her slender fingers absentmindedly.

‘I’m so glad they limited this year’s festivities to eights and above, though I do wish in the future they’d keep midrankers out altogether.’

“Too bad I just barely missed the cut off. Better luck next year, right?” Snap.

[phoenixkadeu]

a shifter’s fortune — is there anything about your life right now that you wish to change?

Asra has a lot he wishes he could change. The main thing right now is to try and get over what happened to Allore, mostly because it is something that has been affecting him in more ways than he thought it would.

He likes to think that his chaos was a controlled one, that it only happened because he wished for it to, but now, the energy inside him feels different and unstable and he definitely wants to get that under control, perhaps with the help from @lukef he will be able to accomplish that wish.

[kadeuxhyeonju]

What small act of kindness was Hyeonju shown that he still remembers and how did it shape him? From mun's point of view? From Hyeonju's?

Mun’s POV: If I had to pick a moment, it would be when Nari appeared. An act of kindness isn’t necessarily a thing, but can easily be a person. Hyeonju had to give up a lot of who he was--his selflessness, his gentle heart, his mercy--in order to survive the life he lived. He had very little to live for besides the resistance and their goals. But he needed more. Nari was more. Her existence in his life was an act of kindness that Hyeonju wouldn’t even be able to verbalize to her or anyone if asked. She needed all the things Hyeonju was killing off inside himself and so when he had the opportunity to keep those pieces of himself alive, he took it. Nari is a constant reminder of kindness for him and when he thinks of blowing up, of saying “fuck it” to Kadeu and his life, he thinks of Nari and decides he’ll make the effort for her.

Hyeonju’s POV: You want a good memory? *huffs a laugh--pauses* I suppose there’s one that sticks out. When I was...working as a courtesan, I got a lot of clients. I was popular and the clients were...usually not that great. But there was this one man--gorgeous, intelligent, driven...kind. I didn’t know that at first. A lot of the other courtesans got him, usually talked about how amazing he was in bed and paid a pretty coin as long as you showed him a good time. One day he picked me and all I thought was how I had to get through it so I could put away that money for something better. Turned out I didn’t need to worry like I did with all the others. He never touched me, never spoke badly. In fact, after a few visits I guess he got attached. Turns out he had never come to the brothels for a good time, just company. The others lied so that neither the man or them would get in trouble. 

Eventually, he started only requesting me. He taught me about different types of gems and stones. He taught me about smithing, business, how to make lasting connections. I was fascinated. During those sessions where I was supposed to be playing lover, I was instead a student. I learned to draw, design, make small pieces of amateur jewelry. Every visit he brought these stunning pieces of jewelry to show me, teach me how it was made, showed me his designs, told me his dreams. I realized after a while the guy was just lonely and wanted to share his passion with somebody--anybody. He found a friend in me, though I really don’t know what he ever saw. I never turned him away, though. He was the best part of my day, honestly. The was one of the few who saw me and didn’t treat me as less. It was a feeling I wasn’t used to.

One day he stopped coming in. I didn’t try looking for him. I know how Kadeu is. It swallows up the weak. And he was too gentle. He was weak. I got a letter one day. It was a bad one for me and I was feeling utterly hopeless. When I opened it, it was filled with coin, but there was this one little item sitting at the bottom of the envelope--a small, welded fox. It had gold for eyes, a smoothed-out garnet body, onyx-socked paws, with diamond-tipped tails. It was me, but more beautiful. I read the letter and finally understood what had happened, why he stopped visiting.

That fox sits near my bed on a mantle. Sometimes I find myself staring at it and smiling. I think about those moments in his company and live there for a little bit. It’s so warm in those memories. After all, it’s the reason I decided to become a jeweler.

[evaxsombra]

🛌 Does your muse prefer to sleep under many layers of blankets or only under a few?

Many layers! She wraps herself up like a burrito, using no less than ten thick blankets. She couldn’t really afford warmth as a low ranked Club, but now she happily collects blankets like they’re going out of style. The fluffier the better! Texture is a big thing for her.

[kadeukarma]

☠ ;; ψ

☠ Do they fear death?

Narcissa, of course, fears death. It’s natural to do so; only human to fear the end of life as she knows it. What she fears much more than death, however, is the pain, suffering, and hardship associated with the journey that ultimately leads to death; life itself is much more terrifying. Karma, on the other hand, has no reason to fear such things.

ψ Do they think they deserve punishment for their wrongdoings?

Wrongdoings? You’ll have to be a bit more specific because Narcissa is practically a Saint™ and Karma operates almost exclusively by contract, which involves consent from all involved parties. So, honestly, no “wrongdoings” really come to mind.

[diabyeolical]

🍒 : how much does my muse value companionship? do they constantly keep people around them, or do they prefer to be alone often? do they have or desire to have many friends? do they see every meeting as an opportunity to make a new friend?

Hanbyeol absolutely values companionship, but he values a network equally as much. He’s constantly with people just by nature of what he does, and he has to actively work at keeping track of all the people he meets as well as what they have for him and what they want. He doesn’t always aim to become friends with the people he sees, but he usually tries for some kind of acquaintanceship, just to have the reference for future yes.

Despite all this, however, Hanbyeol has only a handful of close friends, and fewer yet who are likely to have peeled back every layer of his.

[lukef]

a shifter’s fortune — is there anything about your life right now that you wish to change?

that was a question he most definitely didn’t expect. “to be honest, i can’t really think of anything. actually, my life is going pretty damn well at the moment. refreshing old connections, students are doing better..nothing i could complain about, really.”