#juvenilemayhem

[juniormadness]

Just wanted to post something since it’s been awhile. I never got that skinny body I wanted and I stunted my growth. My dad is 6’2 and my mom is 5’8 and I am shorter than both. I would’ve been taller than my dad or close to something significant at least but I ruined that for myself. I don’t think I use to overshare on this account but since I have no one to talk to. I’m sure I have an intersex condition and getting tested, but that is all. I’ve gained a good mass of muscle onto my body so I’m kind of built now. My goal for this year is to be built like one of the mini pekka twins. I continue to try and stay away from anorexia or an eating disorder. I am 170 pounds today. Since I’m a guy who works out the majority of it is muscle, my previous statements on building muscle are real, I did not lie when I said that! I am bulking but it is very hard. My mind wants to lose but I know I have to gain but I need to maintain and I can’t decide.

Sadly I wont be able to reach my anorexic dream body. Since I have accepted myself over this past year I realize being a short, anorexic, grown ass man is not acceptable. What woman will take me seriously? My only choice is to build. When women hear my voice in public they turn around to see what guy has that booming voice and by their faces I see they realized I’m a teenager and are disappointed. I am a little boy to them already and being some small stickman will make it worse. I’m not 5’4 short but I am short enough. Chin hair finally grew in and I turned 18 this year so I am officially a man now. I will probably post in another year or two just to see where I’m at in life since I used this as a journal before. Once again sorry for pretending, I copied the way a lot of the girls I saw text online and I even copied my cousin too. I came clean last year about it but I will just say it was a big cope but I never lied in my posts about anything. That woman I wrote about ruined my life when I was only 5 and now I barely know how to function in society because of her. I would be a totally different person without her and I am angry and sad everyday about the things she did to me and made me do. That is all. I don’t know what to tag this but if you read this at all thank you for your time and I’m glad you could hear me.

[juniormadness]

I got termin*ted so now my feed is pretty much empty.

🌹Interact with this post anyway you want and I’ll 🖤🖤🖤🖤follow you!❣️

[juniormadness]

Daily Login 109#

My last account got t*rminated. My other logs aren’t available sorry! :(

snacks 11:53AM | 225kcal

Lemon Cookies 🍪 | Cheez It 🥠

dinner | 4:40PM | 645kcal

McDonald’s Hamburger Happy Meal 🍔 | Iced Caramel Coffee 🥤

Total Calories:

870

notes:

I’m going to start eating more protein. I guess I’ll be able to build muscle easier. That’s good I guess..lol I don’t really know but other people said it’s important and can make you look skinnier? I’ll go off of that. I’ve been really active lately when it comes to walking around.