#justusingthetags

[ssupriyyaaaa]

I think about you sometimes.

Sometimes I catch myself wondering about you. Your sweet smile and that tense look in your eyes. I think about how easy it felt even when everything was a mess. When you laid your head on my lap,my fingers caressing your hair and when I slept on your shoulder and you'd just sit doing nothing. How different it was back then, in those moments I felt comfort but no. I was always so scared because I think I always knew there was a time limit. With you it always felt like we're running out of time. I wanted to do all with you but I also wanted to be just there, in the moment. There were moments when I really believed we will last. Moments when you'd talk to me in your sleepy voice telling me how much you wish I was there with you, moments when I saw you and without filtering myself I could talk.

I prayed that we last. But I always knew we wont. All the time I was chasing something that was never for me. The love, you already spent on someone, the comfort, you already gave someone. I just wanted you all to myself and maybe I lost myself in this chase. Not for one moment I regret doing all the things I did for you. I dont want you back and if you showed up again, I'll have to die inside to make sure I don't let you back inside the door.

I really believed in us. It's all alright. We were stupid kids who thought they knew how the world works.