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friendly-books · 1 year ago

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Dresden files Fool's Moon live blog

Fool’s Moon

Ugh male gaze already

You’ve never mentioned Kim Delaney in your fic so I don’t have high hopes in her survival especially when she’s looking into summoning or binding circle

Sometime apprentice? Eh? How does one become a sometime apprentice

Harry drives a Beetle but he’s so tall and a beetle is so small ha

I’m absolutely blaming you for my love of Marcone and how unreasonably happy I got at the mere mention of his name in chapter two I might have a problem

“He was one of Johnny Marcone bodyguards” pg. 18 Geez Marcone’s men can’t catch a break. First Tommy Tomm, then “Gimpy” Lawrence, and now “Spike”

Ahh!! What was that agent Benn thinking? Pulling out her gun?!? I know Harry and Murph were going to live but still. I’m horrified by this lack of gun control

Murph and Harry are fighting:(

I like Harry being a detective

Who’s Justin? Why did Harry burn him to death? I’m reserving my decision if Justin is good or bad because while Harry is a good guy Bob doesn't have a moral compass.

Who’s Elaine? What happened to her?

Alphas really that’s the name they chose?

Susan you’re back!

Harry’s talking to himself again

“What could possibly go wrong?” pg. 102 Harry sweetie you didn’t just say that. I can’t believe what I just read. Harry, you should know better than to say that. Every time someone says that things will always go wrong you’re supposed to be genre savvy.

How is Harry still alive? He went to a hideout of possible murder happy werewolves with minimal tools and or weapons and no backup?

Marcone has arrived yay! It only took 10 chapters

“Ah Mr. Dresden” pg. 114 Why did I think of Verinari when Marcone said Ah Mr. Dresden? Maybe because Verinari says Ah Vimes

I love chapter 10 it’s all Marcone and Harry

Why does a demon know Harry’s mom?

“What was left of Kim Delaney lay naked and sublime on the bloodstained floor a few feet from the circle” pg. 143 I didn’t want to be right :(

“Middle-aged, starkly handsome man” pg. 145 Bi Harry counter 3

Why does a demon know Harry’s mother?

“Good-looking detective” pg. 231 Bi Harry 4 counter

Wait did Harry call Rudolph the person who kills Murph good-looking??? What did I just read?? WHAT?!?

It’s cool that Harry fights a werewolf

I’ve now met ID Harry weird that whole bit was weird

The FBI was in on it?!?

Marcone to the rescue!

“A man in his mature prime, his hair immaculately graying at the temples, his custom-made suit displaying a body kept fit in spite of the advancing years” pg. 293 Bi Harry 5

Really Marcone, you're really trying to get Harry to sign a contract now?

“Marcone looked good in his gray suit and perfect hair and his manicured hands, but he wasn’t” pg. 295 Bi Harry 6

I find it amusing that Marcone and Parker are fighting over Harry for different reasons but fighting over him nonetheless :)

“He won’t accept my offer. He’d rather die.” pg. 297 Marcone knows Harry

“Marcone’s mouth dropped open, and it was an intense pleasure to see the surprise on his face” pg. 297 I love that Harry can get a reaction out of Marcone

Loving chapter 23 with all its Marconeness

How old are the characters? Harry calls the alphas kids, Billy calls Harry Mr. Dresden, and Harry talks about Marcone’s gray hair. I’m picturing Harry and Marcone as a mesh of @drawsdenfiles and @kaphkas fanart.

We got a title drop

Awww Susan got Harry his duster

Why is Marcone’s house so big? Why does he need a big house?

“If he truly offered you a challenge, he’s here,” Marcone said, his tone completely confident, “I’m certain of it.” pg. 365 Marcone really knows Harry huh

I like that Marcone’s never underestimated Harry

“Please remember that I want Dresden, alive if possible.” pg. 375 Wow Marcone really wants to hire Harry.

Nooo the FBI kidnapped Murph :(

What did Denton see in Harry’s soulgaze?

Marcone to the rescue again or not, honestly Marcone you should listen to Harry more often

“I guess it could be worse” pg. 394 Why would you say that Murph? Why???

“Mr. Dresden, Marcone said crossly. I’ve asked you not to call me that.” pg. 398 You should let Harry call you John, Marcone

I love Harry and Marcone’s banter

Marcone’s throwing knives bit was cool

Harry using the belt was interesting. Glad Susan calmed him down.

“Dresden! The pit!” pg. 417 Nice of Marcone to warn Harry

Harry using his necklace is cool!

No Murph trust Harry, why did you shoot him?

Yay Murph was shooting Denton

“Of course,” Marcone said, with a note of disappointment in his voice “I’d just hoped you hadn’t realized it. Nonetheless, Harry-“

“Don’t call me Harry,” I said, and hung up on him” pg. 428 I love this entire bit. How come Harry gets to call Marcone John but when Marcone calls Harry by his first name he gets upset? You should just call each other by your first names

I hope we see more of the Alphas

Oh Harry’s making connections with the ongoing mystery yay!

Final thoughts

Loved all the Marcone we got. I like that we’re getting more on the ongoing mystery. I hope we see more of the Alphas. I liked the fights and Harry’s detective work. More Bi Harry the counter is going up! We’re up to 6. As with the previous book, I'm not a big fan of the male gaze but I think that’s more to do with the length and descriptions used. Harry (or Jim) will go on for a solid paragraph describing women using words I don’t think anyone would use while with Bi Harry it’s not as long and I can see people using words like good looking or handsome. I mostly glazed over the male gaze bits. I don’t know if my predisposition to Bi Harry and a Harry/Marcone shipper is making those parts stand out or if it’s because I’m actively looking for them to add to the counter. Speaking of Marcone I don’t recall if it’s said why Marcone wants Harry to work for him. Yeah having a wizard on staff is cool he can do magic but surely Marcone knows that there’s more magic people and some are more likely to work for him than Harry. So why does he specifically want Harry to work for him? He tried to get him to work for him three times in this book and once in the previous book. There’s trying to hire someone and then there’s whatever this is. I enjoyed this book. Good book for Harry/Marcone moments. Looking forward to the next book!

#dresden files #wizardbaron #harry dresden is bi #Fool's Moon

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astra-galaxie · 1 year ago

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“Not guilty, your honour! I was simply bringing justice to my family’s name after the disgrace the Flying Squad did to it!” - Justine Dawson

Biographical information

Full Name: Justine Dawson

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Status: Incarcerated

Age: 42 (season 3)

Birth: 1974

Race: Human

Nationality: American

Origin: Pacific Bay

Residence:

Concordia

Pacific Bay (formerly)

Profession(s): Lawyer

Family: Justine Lawson (indirect ancestor)

Affiliation(s):

Concordia Courthouse

Pacific Bay Courthouse (formerly)

Profile

Height: 5'5"

Age: 42 (season 2)

Weight: 153lbs

Eyes: blue

Blood: O-

Hailing from Concordia, Justine is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman who followed in her ancestor's footsteps and became a lawyer. In her debut, she wore a black pantsuit and purple-framed glasses.

During her suspect appearance in Death of Our Past, Justine had her hair pulled up into a bun, kept her purple glasses and wore an outfit similar to her late ancestor: a beige suit, a white dress shirt, a dark vest and a gray tie.

As per her suspect appearance in Death From The Past, it is known that Justine visits the opera, has read The Concordia Flying Squad: History of Justice, and drinks wine.

Synopsis

Justine is a minor character who appeared in Hanson vs. Savage and Death From The Past.

During Hanson vs. Savage, she served as the lawyer for Christoper and Yasemin Hanson in the custody battle for Ahmet Savage. Justine had a reputation for being vicious in the courtroom and hadn't lost a trial in over five years. Other lawyers feared going up against her, and clients wanted her to represent them. If they could afford her, that is.

Which meant that Justine was confident that she would win the trial against Adalet and Fili. So you can imagine the shock and anger she felt when Judge Dante decreed that her clients were in the wrong and took away their parental rights. Not only did she lose the trial, but her reputation plummeted to the point where no one would hire her.

Desperate to rebuild her reputation, Justine moved to Concordia, the first in her family to do so for generations. Now, in a place where people didn't know her, she opened a new law firm and began working again. Things were going well, and Justine was happy with her new life. Then, one day, she heard about a new museum that would be opening in the old Flying Squad airship to honour the team of investigators from the past.

Justine immediately saw this as a chance to redeem her family's name after it had been disgraced for so long. She submitted a request to have her ancestor featured in the museum for his work with the Flying Squad as a lawyer, judge, and city mayor. But to her dismay, her request was denied by Andrew Bontemps on the grounds that her ancestor did not deserve to be honoured, given the nightmare he had put Concordia through during his reign as mayor.

Getting that refusal letter enraged Justine. How DARE another Bontemps try and destroy her family name and her ancestor's legacy! Andrew's ancestor might have been a Flying Squad detective, but hers had been the mayor! Hers had ruled Concordia and was going to bring it into a new age of life and justice!

Justine would not stand for such disrespect. So, she stole Issac Bontemps's gun from the museum's storage and followed Andrew until it was the perfect time to strike. She cornered him on the airship and shot him in his heart, just as Issac had done to her ancestor over a hundred years ago. Finally, she had gotten revenge for the suffering her family had endured because of the Flying Squad.

But she would not get to celebrate her victory. Justine would be arrested and sentenced for her crime. For the first time in her life, she found herself on the opposite side of the bench and felt dread set in as the Judge declared she would spend the rest of her life in prison. But Justine kept her head held high and continued to proclaim her innocence, citing that she was merely claiming the debt the Bontemps family and the Flying Squad owed her for what happened to her ancestor.

At least people will continue to learn about the true history of Concordia and how the Flying Squad made it a better place. But if anyone wants to hear about the "true" hero of the city, they can visit the local prison and listen to Justine's ranting…

Story Information

First appeared: Smart Money

Trivia

Initially, she was just supposed to be a parody of Justin Lawson. But, it was suggested that I make her an indirect descendant (you know who you are!), so I found a way to make it happen!

Her surname, Dawson, exists because one of her ancestors changed it from Lawson to Dawson to try and escape the association with the Concordian dictator they were related to

She was the first person in her family to move back to Concordia after her great-grandparents moved away to escape the hate following their family

Frankly, I designed her with the purpose of her being a snotty bitch. I like to think I succeeded!

Disclaimer: Character design was created using Rinmarugames Mega Anime Avatar Creator! I have only made minor edits to the design! Background courtesy of CriminalArtist5

Links to my stories:

The Case of the Criminal (Ao3/Wattpad) Killer Bay (Ao3/Wattpad) Where in the World are the Killers? (Ao3/Wattpad)

#criminal case #astra's ocs #my ocs #criminal case pacific bay #criminal case save the world #CC OC profile

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midnightsilverchelly · 5 years ago

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*pokes you* tell us about that sweet sweet roleswap au

RIGHT!

Basically the whole Roleswap AU is Wildcard <-> Attendant with the Bonus of some of the casts being swapped around although the AU is mainly focus on Persona 5 Royal

PLEASE WARN THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR PERSONA 5 ROYAL

So I just quickly go over the roleswap since there’s alot and they are from all the series minus Persona 1 (due to the fact I hardly know P1 sadly).

Nameless - Tatsuya Belladonna - Maya Demon Painter - Jun

Minato <-> Elizabeth Minako <-> Theodore Aigis <-> Labrys Metis <-> Sophia

Yu <-> Margaret Dojima Family <-> Hasegawa Family Takuto <-> Rumi Sumire <-> Kasumi Caroline and Justine <-> Akechi Lavenza <-> Ren

I already wrote some profile (Mainly Lavenza, Caroline, Justine, Rumi and Kasumi.)

LAVENZA (JOKER)

Lavenza is a second-year high school student who meets Morgana and transfers to Shujin Academy in the spring in Tokyo after a false assault charge issued by a high-profile politician which caused her to end up with a one-year probation sentence.

She lives in a coffee shop, which is run by Sojiro Sakura, although it’s been rumour that she lived in a rural area before the ‘assault’ happened. Although soon Lavenza form the infamous group ‘The Phantom Thieves of Heart’ after entering the metaverse and awoken to her persona.

CAROLINE (YIN) + JUSTINE (YANG)

Caroline and Justine Kurusu are known as the ‘Twin Detectives Princes’ and is investigating the mysterious Phantom Thieves of Hearts case sensationalizing. Caroline acts mean-spirited and speaks in demeaning manner which people believe is just for show to hide her true feelings and loves her for it; calling her a ‘tsundere‘. She is also overprotective of her sister; not wanting anything to happen to her, which was a result of her protecting her twin sister when the other was horribly bullied in the past. Caroline also has a ill-tempered and is impatient with things.

Meanwhile Justine speaks in a polite and calm voice but condescending tone. She has a strong sense of Justice, disapproving the Phantom Thieves of Hearts’ methods but doesn’t express her disagreement as she prefer to keep quiet unlike her sister although she can come off passive-aggressive at times. Justine is in fact an orphan along with her sister and her quiet nature is a result of her childhood where she was bullied by other children and even adults whom saw her being too clever for her own good.

KASUMI (JAUNE)

Kasumi seems to be a bold and confident person who is fully consistent in her performances as a gymnast. She always seem to be cheery and would do her best to cheer people up however the girl doesn’t support handling matters for others to prevent them from being over-reliant on other people. However this is a facade to hide the fact that she suffers from heavy guilt for allowing her twin sister, Sumire, to commit suicide for consistently being in her shadow and not supporting her properly. So much so that Kasumi wished she didn’t exist as she believed her sister would still be alive and didn’t feel inferior to her. After meeting the Phantom Thieves and becoming a official member of them; Kasumi learns how to better support the people in her life and let go of her guilt she had for her sister; knowing that the guilt will not bring her sister back. As well that in the Metaverse, Kasumi is very violent and crueler, even going as far to laughing manically when she successfully defeat a enemy. She also makes sneering comments towards the shadows and get easily frustrated when her attack misses.

RUMI

Rumi is therapist and a counselor at Shujin Academy. She was hired by Kobayakawa in order to improve the students' mental health after dealing with the exposure of the Kamoshida incident She is a caring woman who wants to do everything in her power to help those who need it as she doesn’t want anyone to suffer. She is also popular with the students and has a great disliking towards Kobayakawa for using students for profits. Rumi regularly meets up with members of the Phantom Thieves and collect information of the desires of students from Shujin so that she may help them in the future. After some point; Rumi leaves but not before giving a speech for the students to avoid pain and negativity and live strong so that they may achieve their fairy tale ending. After the Day of Reckoning; Rumi becomes mad with fragments of her former personality left... Although Rumi is still a caring woman as she still only want to make people happy even if it means ruining herself and becoming a ‘Fairy Godmother’. It’s also revealed that Rumi had a former lover known as Takuto Maruki who suffered from a mental shutdown after his paper was seized by Shido... A fact Rumi became aware of shortly after Takuto’s passing and one she wanted to prove. This also lead Rumi to becoming a researcher and a therapist in honor of him.

You can get more info on her here~

#Persona 5 #Persona 5 AU #Persona AU #Persona 5 Royal Spoilers #P5R Spoilers #Anonymous #That's not all the swap since I might swap some more in the future

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lookinghbo · 6 years ago

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'Looking' Made Raúl Castillo A Sex Symbol. Sheer Force Made Him A Star.

In New York, in the middle of July, if the fickle subway system allows it, you’d be wise to arrive at a destination 10 minutes early. You’ll need that time to let the sweat evaporate, to stamp out the damp spots that have betrayed your outfit.

Raúl Castillo forfeited his chance to cool down before shaking my hand at a Manhattan hotel restaurant on a sweltering Thursday morning. I didn’t mind. It was an honest mistake.

The “Looking” star was running slightly late and looking slightly frazzled when he bounded toward our table. He’d confused this hotel for another within walking distance where, the previous night, Castillo had attended a screening of the new Alexander McQueen documentary with his girlfriend, the costume designer Alexis Forte, who has the late fashion maverick’s biography at their Brooklyn apartment.

It’s cute to see celebrities frayed, even ones who are still building their marquee value. Castillo is the type who hasn’t yet abandoned public transportation when navigating the city, even though it’s becoming harder to do so without attracting strangers’ gazes. While trekking home from the “McQueen” event, a Latina teenager tapped him to say she loved “Atypical,” the Netflix series in which Castillo played a charismatic bartender sleeping with Jennifer Jason Leigh’s married character. The teenager’s mother loved “Seven Seconds,” the Netflix series in which Castillo played a narcotics detective tending to a racially charged investigation.

Raúl Castillo: a guy you can bring home to Mom, punctual or otherwise.

It’s his voice that people recognize, the 40-year-old actor said, a modest notion considering his breakthrough role as the sensitive barber Richie on “Looking” made Castillo a veritable heartthrob, despite the HBO show’s modest ratings. But it’s true that his warm baritone gravel is a distinguishing trait. Earlier this year, when I saw “Unsane,” Steven Soderbergh’s scrappy iPhone thriller set inside a mental institution, I recognized Castillo’s intonation before his face appeared onscreen.

That’s a significant feat. Castillo mumbled so much as an adolescent that a teacher recommended he see a speech therapist. He refused, instead reminding himself to enunciate or else using the impediment as a defense mechanism. “I have all these things wrong with my voice,” Castillo said, though few today would agree.

Castillo’s cadence may be growing familiar, but fame hardly seems like his long game. This is, after all, a guy who studied playwriting ― hardly the creative pursuit that commands the brightest spotlight ― at Boston University, after which he paid about $300 a month to live in a garage in Austin and perform local Chicano theater. “We the Animals,” a Sundance indie opening this weekend, marks the first time Castillo is the one generating a project’s star power. He portrays the father of three tight-knit boys storming through a wooded town in upstate New York. The movie, adapted from Justin Torres’ autobiographical novel of the same name, combines elements of “Beasts of the Southern Wild” and “Moonlight” to capture a domestic home life that’s equal parts tender and volatile, where abuse and affection are equally common.

Castillo’s enthusiasm about “We the Animals,” and about the possibly of again working with its director, Jeremiah Zagar (“Captivated: The Trials of Pamela Smart”), speaks to his ambivalence toward the celebrity ecosystem.

“He could be like Tom Cruise without the child slavery,” Zagar said, roasting the “Mission: Impossible” moneymaker’s Scientology association (and its alleged history of forced manual labor). “Raúl’s that kind of a dude. He’s a perfect-looking dude, and yet he’s incredibly real and honest and true. There’s never a false note. He’s also incredibly collaborative. As a director, that’s a wonderful thing. I didn’t know what I was doing, really, because I had never directed a narrative before, and Raúl had a way of making me feel comfortable and confident in my own beliefs and my own material. He’s so seasoned and so clear about what he needs to do to make a scene work and a character work and to elevate other people around him.”

It’s a small movie with grainy aesthetics and an impressionistic lyricism ― in no way the kind of thing that will make a killing at the box office. For someone who first fell in love with theater by discovering the plays of Puerto Rican and Mexican writers like Miguel Piñero and Luis Valdez in his high school library, playing the complicated patriarch of a mixed-race family feels like a destiny fulfilled. (Sheila Vand, star of the Iranian horror gem “A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night,” plays Castillo’s wife.) At this point, opportunities to extend his commercial footprint ― guest spots as a cannibal on “Gotham” and a music teacher on “Riverdale,” for example ― will find Castillo one way or another.

“I’ve always felt that I was never cookie-cutter,” he said. “For as much as I tried to fit my square peg into round holes, constantly, my whole career, I could never do it. Whenever I read ‘We the Animals,’ I didn’t think I would be cast in that film. [...] I felt viewed more as a Richie. People think I tend to find those roles easier than I do a role like this, ’cause it’s harsh. I knew that I could do it. I’m so grateful for both Jeremiah and Justin, who did see that in me.”

Born in McAllen, Texas, a midsize agricultural town that sits on the Mexican border, Castillo’s triumphs were born out of people believing in him at the exact right moments. He belongs to a first-generation immigrant family, even if home was a mere 10 miles down the road. Castillo didn’t feel othered, but his dual identity instilled a sort of anti-establishment fluster.

“I just saw a lot of bullshit in the structures that were established for me,” he said. “I found a lot of hypocrisies. People valued money, and I think when I was very young, I valued money and I didn’t have it. I think I hated myself for it.”

Slowly shedding the Catholic mysticism that once awed him, he took up bass and played in punk bands. When his friend Tanya Saracho, who would go on to write for “Looking” and “How to Get Away with Murder,” likened his GPA to a lifeline out of McAllen, Castillo decided to care about school. But in Boston, he was suddenly the minority. His “bad attitude” kept him out of second-year acting courses, until mentorship from a professor of color let Castillo understand that he shouldn’t punish himself for being subjected to an overwhelmingly white institution. And when he moved to New York in 2002, his pal Mando Alvarado, now a writer for “Greenleaf” and “Vida” (on which Castillo will soon appear), posited presentation as a mark of self-worth; if he didn’t put care into his résumé and headshot, why should anyone put care into hiring him?

Of course, when success takes years to manifest, it’s easy to forget the lessons you’ve learned. Living with four or five roommates at once, Castillo worked his way into the Labyrinth Theater Company, an experimental off-Broadway troupe founded by Philip Seymour Hoffman and John Ortiz. He still wanted to be a writer ― in high school, Castillo only ever acted to impress girls anyway ― but in 2006 he found himself starring in a Labyrinth production of “School of the Americas,” a play by “Motorcycle Diaries” scribe José Rivera. The acting bug stuck. In 2009, his play “Knives and Other Sharp Objects,” a multigenerational drama about class in Texas, opened off-Broadway, earning a mixed review from The New York Times.

Still, nothing quite lasted. The business side of things was grueling, and his coffee-shop gigs were getting old, even if he did count Lili Taylor and RuPaul as customers. An agent sent him on auditions for “huge” Hollywood movies ― which ones, Castillo wouldn’t say ― but dropped him after none proved fruitful. He was ready to give up altogether when “Looking” came around. Castillo had starred in the short film that became a prototype for the series. Its director, Michael Lannan, called him to audition for Richie (the character he’d initially played) and Augustin (a more prominent Latino character who worked as an artist’s assistant). He didn’t land either role, even though he’d originated one of them.

But by the time “Looking” was a week away from shooting, a Richie still hadn’t been cast. The producers called Castillo to read for Andrew Haigh, the gifted English director who shepherded the half-hour dramedy. Haigh had seen Castillo in an indie mystery called “Cold Weather” that gave him “street cred.” Crashing on John Ortiz’s couch in Hell’s Kitchen, wondering what else he could do with his life, Castillo was at a bar one night when he received an email with a contract attached. He had no representation to negotiate his salary, but it didn’t matter: After living check to check, he was on HBO.

“I was like, ‘Yes. Take my soul. I don’t care. Pay me. I need money,’” Castillo recalled. “I needed not just a paycheck but the affirmation. I needed something artistically that I could sink my teeth into that had value to it. Something that was substantial. Something that had a real point of view. I needed a character that gave me a platform to do what I do in a really great scale in the best way possible. And it ended up being that. That show was such a great gift to me.”

All of Castillo’s ensuing fortune can be linked to “Looking.” It made him a sex symbol, a love interest, a fan favorite, a rising star whose claim to fame meant a great deal to anyone hungry for frank depictions of queer intimacy. Richie was the good-natured, self-righteous ideal ― a perfect counterpoint for Patrick (Jonathan Groff), the series’ unsettled protagonist. It became gay viewers’ great disappointment when they learned that Castillo, their anointed hunk, was in fact straight.

“His inability to be fake as a person translates directly into his acting,” Groff said. “There is nothing extraneous or false about Raúl, and he brought a grounded, honest integrity to the character that absolutely no one else could have. He’s also just innately magic on screen and has that ‘it’ factor.”

Perhaps it was Castillo’s dual identity as a Mexican-American that helped him shine as a gay, blue-collar Californian who was sure of himself despite being rejected by his family. It’s certainly what lets him shine as the cash-strapped paterfamilias, caught between unremitting love for his kin and an inescapable pattern of violence, in “We the Animals.” This dyad comes at time when Castillo sees his identity splashed across the evening news.

McAllen houses the U.S. Border Patrol’s busiest hub for detaining immigrants suspected of entering the country illegally. While Castillo was vacationing in Europe and playing make-believe on sets, children were being ripped from their parents’ arms in his hometown.

“I would always have to explain where McAllen was, and now it’s this name you’re seeing constantly in the news for all these reasons that represent, for me, everything that’s wrong with this country,” Castillo said. “It was paralyzing. I was sitting in a beach in Europe, wondering why I deserved to be there. My parents had access to this country in ways that people who are coming from longer distances don’t. We had the great gift of citizenship, which is an incredible privilege. But my parents were immigrants, and they navigated that dynamic our entire lives. I saw my mom and my dad deal with all the insecurities and all the precarious nature of what being an immigrant in this country is. [...] Having grown up going back and forth across the border throughout my whole life, it’s disheartening and upsetting to see what’s happening. And then to think about this particular movie that deals with children, who are especially in that age when their minds are being formed and their view of the world is taking shape, to think about [the ones] locked in cages is enraging.”

Castillo may be miles from that crisis now, but he’s done more to better the world for brown people than he can know. His goal hasn’t been to diversity Hollywood roles written for white ensembles; it’s been to find work that naturally accentuates the grooves of his Latino heritage. He saw almost no Chicano role models in popular culture growing up, and now he is writing and starring in artistic endeavors that paint all shades of the human experience ― gay, poor, brown, cannibalistic, whatever ― with a dynamic brush.

Which isn’t to say everything’s gotten easy. He was slated to play the lead in “Mix Tape” (a musical drama set in Los Angeles) and appear on “One Day at a Time” (the Norman Lear reboot), but has since exited both series and would rather not disclose why. I got the sense, during our two-hour breakfast, that Castillo is still protective of how he is perceived. Maybe he always will be. He’s comfortable reflecting on his upbringing and his relationship with race ― concepts he’s spent his whole life processing ― but being candid about recent setbacks, as routinely asked of celebrities in interviews, does not yet come easy.

It’s the “ego business bullshit” that still eats at him. It’s what eats at most of us. But when someone makes a name for himself, that burden slowly fades to the periphery, replaced by a newfound comfort, even power. The man who once served RuPaul coffee now shares an agent with the drag dignitary.

“For so long, it was all feast or famine,” Castillo said. “I just took work when I could take it. And at this point, I’m in a new place where I want to be more thoughtful about the roles that I take on from here on out. The projects, the roles, the people. I’ve learned so much in the journey that now I want to apply all that and also honor my experience, because at this point I want to work with people who challenge me in all the right ways and push me to become a better actor and a better artist.”

#looking hbo #looking #raul castillo #press #!

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ramajmedia · 5 years ago

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13 Reasons Why: 10 Things We Don’t Like About Clay | ScreenRant

Teen drama 13 Reasons Why broke onto the scene in 2017, causing controversy thanks to its graphic depictions of rape and suicide. But the series has continued to go strong with fresh, new storylines each season, including in its latest third which was just released on Netflix on August 23, 2019.

While some characters have come and gone, one who remains central to the story is Clay Jensen, played by Dylan Minnette. In season 1, Clay was a close friend to Hannah, the central character to the story who sent tapes to those she blamed for driving her to commit suicide. In season 2, he fought dutifully for Hannah’s honor, trying to do right by her in the wake of her death, then put himself on the line to stop Tyler from conducting a school shooting. And in season 3, he found himself central to the drama once again as Bryce, the young man who raped Hannah, is found dead.

RELATED: Every Song In 13 Reasons Why Season 3

There are some things to truly love about Clay, such as his steadfast dedication to his friends, his determination and will to fight for what he believes in, and his clever and smart personality. But there are also lots of things we really don’t like about him.

*Spoilers for season 3 of 13 Reasons Why below*

10 He Becomes Easily Obsessed With Girls

Clay is your typical shy teenage boy, although he seems quite comfortable in his own skin as the book smart nerdy type who doesn’t really fit into any clique and is accepting of that. Yet he seems to have a hard time expressing his feelings to girls he likes, then gets obsessed with them.

We saw it with Hannah when Clay clearly pined for her yet wouldn’t make a move, then jealously watched her flirt with and get involved with other boys. And the same happened with Ani in season 3 as he focused on their friendship even though he clearly had romantic feelings for her, then became enraged with jealously when he found out about her and Bryce, or when she and Zach shared friendly and flirty conversations.

9 He Never Makes The First Move

As noted above, Clay pines in silence for girls he is interested in, like Hannah and Ani, yet does nothing. He constantly backtracks when he feels any potential for rejection, which is completely contrary to the way he behaves in any other scenario.

Even when the girls drop subtle hints like Ani’s mention of never having been asked to a dance before, he chickens out or doesn't pick up on them. We get it if Clay is naturally a shy person. But he clearly has no issues speaking up in any other circumstance, and is very perceptive otherwise. So why not with girls?

8 He Thinks He Can Save the World

Clay has a sort of God complex in that he thinks he can, and should, save everyone. He tried to do it with Hannah when she was alive, and even more so after she was dead. Then when Tyler was in trouble, he took him on as a project, convinced he could save the troubled and bullied boy who clearly needed, and still needs, some professional help.

When it comes to crimes, Clay fancies himself some type of sleuth detective, riding around on his bike (in season 3, finally a car) chasing down what he believes to be truths, and stopping at nothing to find them. We appreciate the determination, but sometimes he takes it too far.

RELATED: 13 Reasons Why: 15 Things Fan Choose To Ignore About The Show

7 He Takes Dangerous Risks

For someone who’s afraid to ask a girl out on a date, Clay sure has no fear when it comes to standing up to a guy holding a gun to his face, or charging at a burly football player who could probably take him down with one hand.

Clay is a smart guy, yet he makes really dumb moves sometimes that, outside of the fantasy world of television, would have almost definitely landed him in serious trouble, and injury. Yet Clay somehow always appears to emerge unscathed.

6 He Does Stupid Things Sometimes

Clay tends to react quickly without thinking, doing things that he might later regret because he believes them to be right at the moment. His death threat texts to Bryce are a perfect example, along with his visit to Bryce’s home, gun in hand.

Then, in season 3, faced with accusations of killing Bryce, he decides to run away but changes his mind when Tyler tells him he needs him, again believing that he needs to save the world and things could go horribly wrong if he's not there. Clay might be book smart, but he really needs to work on his street smarts and realizing that the world doesn't revolve around him.

5 He Has Little Confidence In Himself

Clay seems like a young man who is self-assured, yet he also conversely appears to have little confidence in himself. It’s apparent with his views about girls, but he also talks down about his body or his abilities as a friend or romantic partner.

He’s headstrong, yet deep down, there are insecurities there that might cause him to act out in anger. Maybe this is why he consistently tries to save everyone else, as he sees it as a way to justify his own existence.

RELATED: 10 Riverdale Moments That Topped Our Cringe-Meter

4 He Has a Jealous Streak

Ironically, while Clay has issues declaring his feelings for girls, that doesn’t stop him from getting jealous when they look elsewhere for love. We can understand his anger when he found out about Ani and Bryce, as that went deeper than just jealousy. Bryce is the man who caused all of the anger and pain for Hannah, so it’s understandable that he’s the last person Clay would want to see Ani romantically involved with.

But he seemed upset whenever Hannah hung out with people other than him as well, or when Ani didn’t want him to drop her off close to the house. Sometimes, Clay can be far too uptight and needs to loosen up a bit.

3 He’s Rarely Nice To His Parents

Clay’s interactions with his parents are usually fleeting as he is rushing off to school or to do something he’s lying to them about, like spy on someone or investigate something. His parents seem like genuinely nice and caring people, yet Clay treats them as if they are in the way most of the time.

Not only did his parents build Clay his own space in the guest house, but they opened their home to his fellow classmate, a drug addict Justin who’s druggie mother abandoned him. Then they hired a lawyer to help defend Clay when he was accused of murdering Bryce without once second-guessing their son's innocence. It seems Clay should give them a bit more credit and attention. Then again, he is just a teenage boy, and that’s kind of what they do.

2 He Likes To Get In Everyone’s Business

No matter what’s going on, rest assured Clay will show up in some capacity, whether the situation has anything to do with him or not. He’s constantly following people, checking up on them, and sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong in a desperate attempt to find out a truth.

A fight breaks out in the school hallway, Clay is there. A secret kiss, Clay is lurking at the sidelines. A drug hand-off? Rest assured Clay will find out or will somehow see what’s going on. Doesn’t this kid have anything else to do?

1 He Refused To Call Justin a Friend or Brother (At First)

While Clay later warmed up to Justin, in one episode, he basically told someone that Justin was simply living at his parents’ house and sharing a room with him. He refused to call Justin a brother, or even just a friend.

Later, the two did share some “I love you, bros” but mostly prompted by Justin who wasn’t afraid to express his gratitude. Clay often hides his emotions, and Justin, who wears his heart on his sleeve, could have really used hearing those brotherly words earlier on.

RELATED: 10 Teen Shows We Want a Reboot of More Than Beverly Hills 9021030

source https://screenrant.com/13-reasons-10-things-dont-like-clay/

#screenrant

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jessicakehoe · 6 years ago

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The Right Type of Curiosity: Are You Inquisitive or Just Nosy?

If I were a character in a horror movie, I’d be the last one dead. An otherworldly hum radiating from outside my tent? I’d pop in my earplugs and go back to sleep. The ancient puzzle box from the creepy antique shop that wasn’t there yesterday? It would gather dust on my mantel for generations, unopened, unsolved. The phone call coming from inside my house? Straight to voice mail. I used to love sharing this little insight into my personality. It was a winning icebreaker, funny because it’s true. Then I read Ian Leslie’s Curious: The Desire to Know and Why Your Future Depends on It. I haven’t made light of my lack of curiosity since.

The future, says Leslie, belongs to the curious. Linked to higher levels of intelligence, creativity and success, curiosity is the “knowledge emotion” that separates the cognitive elite (those with the inquiring mindset to thrive in the 21st century) from the cognitive misers (those who seek to expend as little mental effort as possible). Getting on the right side of this divide, however, isn’t simply a matter of being curious. It’s about being the right kind of curious.

On the low end of the curiosity spectrum is diversive curiosity. A mile long and an inch deep, diversive curiosity is what impels you to ask the Porsche-driving millennial next door what he does for a living, research how Justin Bieber’s marriage is going or scroll your Twitter feed for updates on your (least) favourite politician. While being diversively curious isn’t in itself a bad thing—it’s what gets you off the beaten track in the first place—it can descend into an aimless, unproductive impulse that never gets the chance to deepen or mature.

While being diversively curious isn’t in itself a bad thing—it’s what gets you off the beaten track in the first place—it can descend into an aimless, unproductive impulse that never gets the chance to deepen or mature.

Leslie believes this is especially true in the digital environment we are creating for ourselves, where curiosity is viewed not as a sign of intelligence to be cultivated but as a form of attention to be maintained through stimuli. “Google and Facebook are not in the business of fostering deep curiosity. They’re part of a system set up to deliver the most ‘popular’ answers and designed to confirm—not challenge or expand—the direction you’re already on,” he says.

As algorithms become increasingly skilful at providing answers based on a mere keyword or two, the unintended consequence is that the question itself becomes lazier and less thoughtful. If you want to know who the Queen of Spain is, for example, you can find the three-word answer online and be immediately satisfied. If you have to ask someone, read part of a book to find the answer or even dig deep into online sources, this would be more difficult and time-consuming, but it would also stimulate your interest in new ways and potentially lead you to learn more about the Spanish monarchy, the country’s history and its current political situation.

“The internet is an amazing tool that can be used to stimulate curiosity or make you more incurious: It extends the possibilities on both sides.”

“The internet is an amazing tool that can be used to stimulate curiosity or make you more incurious: It extends the possibilities on both sides,” Leslie says. His best advice for using technology to cultivate a curiosity mindset? Start training yourself to ask better and more important questions, allowing them to incubate and marinate in your mind long enough to become rich and interesting.

The ability to ask meaningful questions is a characteristic associated with the highest form of curiosity: epistemic curiosity. This is the kind that compels you to accumulate knowledge, absorb new ideas and solve intellectual problems. Productive even when it is not immediately relevant, epistemic curiosity paves the way for the self-motivated learning and cognitive meandering that can lead to breakthrough ideas and fresh perspectives. Leonardo da Vinci is a good example of this. According to Leslie, a random Leo to-do list was reported to include calculating the measurement of Milan and its suburbs; learning how to repair a lock, canal and mill; examining a crossbow; and researching ice skating in Flanders. Impressive, sure, but he didn’t have Netflix to distract him.

Productive even when it is not immediately relevant, epistemic curiosity paves the way for the self-motivated learning and cognitive meandering that can lead to breakthrough ideas and fresh perspectives.

Then again, distraction isn’t really the problem. “Epistemically curious people take risks, try things out and allow themselves to become productively distracted. They know something they learn today may well be useful tomorrow or spark a new way of thinking about an entirely different problem,” says Leslie, noting that the very technology companies whose systems and algorithms are rewiring our brains for diversive curiosity are also the ones hiring for epistemic traits.

The concept of curiosity as a practice that can help you accumulate diverse and eclectic pieces of knowledge that will eventually interconnect to reveal new and exciting possibilities is at the heart of Brian Grazer’s A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life. For Grazer, the Academy Award-winning producer of such films as Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind and 8 Mile, curiosity is a habit, a mindset and a more exciting way to live in the world. The book details the author’s 35-year practice of seeking out “curiosity conversations” with complete strangers from outside the worlds of film and TV.

His goal is to understand what makes the individual tick and how their attitude and personality tie in with their work, challenges and accomplishments. Over the decades, Grazer’s interview subjects have included an etiquette consultant, an oceanographer, an oil-well firefighter, a Buddhist monk, a physicist, a diplomat, a magician, a French aristocrat, an Egyptologist and a celebrity divorce attorney.

“Epistemically curious people take risks, try things out and allow themselves to become productively distracted. They know something they learn today may well be useful tomorrow or spark a new way of thinking about an entirely different problem.”

While he has never made a movie about any of these strangers, Grazer says the insights he gleaned from speaking with them have informed his work in vivid and unexpected ways. To capture the psychology of being trapped in a crippled spaceship for Apollo 13, for example, he drew on his conversation with Veronica de Negri, a Chilean bookkeeper and activist who was tortured for months by her own government. De Negri’s ability to separate herself from what was being done to her by achieving a flow state helped Grazer grasp what it would be like to be forced to rely completely on oneself to survive—exactly what the Apollo crew had to do when an explosion in an oxygen tank left the spacecraft orbiting the moon without water, electrical power or oxygen reserves.

While Grazer’s conversations—deep, varied, open-minded and motivated by passionate interest—have all the characteristics of epistemic curiosity, he is quick to categorize his breed of curiosity as “emotional”: driven by the desire for connection. Grazer believes the link between curiosity and empathy is undeniable. “If manners are the lubricant that lets us all get along, curiosity is the shot of Tabasco that adds some spice, wakes us up, creates connection and puts meaning into almost any encounter,” he writes.

“If manners are the lubricant that lets us all get along, curiosity is the shot of Tabasco that adds some spice, wakes us up, creates connection and puts meaning into almost any encounter.”

The human value Grazer places on curiosity is echoed in the findings of a 2013 study by George Mason University in which strangers were asked to spend five minutes getting acquainted with one another by posing and responding to personal questions. To gain added insight into the participants’ personalities, the researchers also interviewed their parents and close friends. The verdict: Participants who presented as curious were rated as being more enthusiastic, outgoing, confident and funny by strangers and loved ones alike. According to lead investigator Dr. Todd Kashdan, the results indicate that the mechanisms of curiosity also benefit romantic, longer-term relationships where keeping interest alive is key to preventing boredom and breakups.

“Curious people know how to detect novelty more quickly and find the unfamiliar in the familiar. They have an ongoing interest in learning about their partners and intentionally try to keep interactions engaging and playful, an approach that supports the development of good relationships,” he says.

With so many intellectual, economic, social and otherwise life-affirming benefits attached to curiosity, it’s important to remember that this trait is a natural impulse but not a gift that keeps on giving. Leslie says it’s more like a muscle that needs regular stretching and strengthening so it doesn’t atrophy and become weak. “Once you’ve worked out the routines of your life, it’s remarkably easy to stop learning and rely on the knowledge you’ve already acquired, and without even realizing it, you become a little duller, a little dimmer,” he warns. In horror movies, curiosity is a fatal flaw, but in real life, it’s what keeps us alive, engaged and kicking.

How to tap into epistemic curiosity

Just as all forms of curiosity are not created equal, all human beings are not born equally curious. Although the study of curiosity is in its infancy, researchers suspect the trait is linked to age, genetics and possibly early childhood exposure (or a lack thereof). The good news is that with a bit of effort, it is possible to charge up your natural levels of curiosity.

Get better at detecting novelty and complexity in everyone and everything. Adopt the mindset that every individual has an interesting story to tell. You just need to find out what it is. If you don’t succeed, it’s on you, not them. More than just a mantra, this should become your intentional approach to engaging with the world. And not just with other people—the same principle applies to your daily routines.

Skip a few rungs on the intimacy ladder. “Although there are no rules about when you get to talk about deep stuff, people have this lame belief that you have to wait. Everyone abhors small talk, and yet everyone is responsible for it,” says Kashdan. Raise topics that are “prematurely interesting.” You’ll find that more often than not, people will be excited to talk about something other than the weather.

Improve your tolerance for uncertainty. Ever wonder why we are so quick to form an opinion or judgment, even in the absence of facts? It’s because uncertainty makes most people anxious. Try exposing yourself to new issues slowly, reserving judgment until you understand the situation better. The ability to tolerate ambiguous situations, says Kashdan, is what separates the curious from the not.

The post The Right Type of Curiosity: Are You Inquisitive or Just Nosy? appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

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latestnews2018-blog · 6 years ago

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'Looking' Made Raúl Castillo A Sex Symbol. Sheer Force Made Him A Star.

New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/looking-made-raul-castillo-a-sex-symbol-sheer-force-made-him-a-star/

'Looking' Made Raúl Castillo A Sex Symbol. Sheer Force Made Him A Star.

Raúl Castillo forfeited his chance to cool down before shaking my hand at a Manhattan hotel restaurant on a sweltering Thursday morning. I didn’t mind. It was an honest mistake.

Raúl Castillo: a guy you can bring home to Mom, punctual or otherwise.

Eric Ogden for HuffPost

Photo shoot produced by Christy Havranek; Grooming by Claudia Lake; Clothing courtesy of Theory

Eric Ogden for HuffPost

“I’ve always felt that I was never cookie-cutter,” he said. “For as much as I tried to fit my square peg into round holes, constantly, my whole career, I could never do it. Whenever I read ‘We the Animals,’ I didn’t think I would be cast in that film. […] I felt viewed more as a Richie. People think I tend to find those roles easier than I do a role like this, ’cause it’s harsh. I knew that I could do it. I’m so grateful for both Jeremiah and Justin, who did see that in me.”

Eric Ogden for HuffPost

“I would always have to explain where McAllen was, and now it’s this name you’re seeing constantly in the news for all these reasons that represent, for me, everything that’s wrong with this country,” Castillo said. “It was paralyzing. I was sitting in a beach in Europe, wondering why I deserved to be there. My parents had access to this country in ways that people who are coming from longer distances don’t. We had the great gift of citizenship, which is an incredible privilege. But my parents were immigrants, and they navigated that dynamic our entire lives. I saw my mom and my dad deal with all the insecurities and all the precarious nature of what being an immigrant in this country is. […] Having grown up going back and forth across the border throughout my whole life, it’s disheartening and upsetting to see what’s happening. And then to think about this particular movie that deals with children, who are especially in that age when their minds are being formed and their view of the world is taking shape, to think about [the ones] locked in cages is enraging.”

Eric Ogden for HuffPost

Photography by Eric Ogden. Photo shoot produced by Christy Havranek. Grooming by Claudia Lake. Clothing courtesy of Theory.

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njawaidofficial · 7 years ago

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'Awards Chatter' Podcast — Sterling K. Brown ('This Is Us')

http://styleveryday.com/2017/08/15/awards-chatter-podcast-sterling-k-brown-this-is-us/

'Awards Chatter' Podcast — Sterling K. Brown ('This Is Us')

“This one means something different than last year,” says the actor Sterling K. Brown as we sit down at the offices of The Hollywood Reporter to record an episode of THR‘s ‘Awards Chatter’ podcast. Brown is referencing his second consecutive Emmy nomination, this one for best actor in a drama series for his portrayal of Randall Pearson in NBC’s hit This Is Us, a year after his Emmy win for best supporting actor in a limited series or movie for his portrayal of Christopher Darden in the FX limited series The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story. “If my name is called [this year],” Brown elaborates, “I’ll be the first brotha this millennium,” he notes. Indeed, the last black actor to win in his category was Andre Braugher back in 1998; and Brown is the first African-American to be nominated in the category in 16 years. “It’s sort of insane to even contemplate that your boy from Olivette, Missouri, is in this place where that could actually be happening. What it makes me think is that I want to live a life and have a career that is worthy of this moment.”

(Click above to listen to this episode or here to access all of our 166 episodes via iTunes. Past guests include Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg, Meryl Streep, Eddie Murphy, Lady Gaga, Robert De Niro, Amy Schumer, Will Smith, Jennifer Lopez, Louis C.K., Emma Stone, Harvey Weinstein, Natalie Portman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jane Fonda, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Nicole Kidman, Aziz Ansari, Taraji P. Henson, J.J. Abrams, Helen Mirren, Justin Timberlake, Brie Larson, Ryan Reynolds, Alicia Vikander, Warren Beatty, Jessica Chastain, Samuel L. Jackson, Kate Winslet, Sting, Isabelle Huppert, Tyler Perry, Sally Field, Michael Moore, Lily Collins, Denzel Washington, Mandy Moore, Ricky Gervais, Kristen Stewart, James Corden, Sarah Silverman, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Beckinsale, Bill Maher, Lily Tomlin, Ryan Murphy, Allison Janney, Eddie Redmayne, Olivia Wilde, Trevor Noah and Elisabeth Moss.)

Brown, 41, was born and raised in the St. Louis area. He took his first acting class while in 8th grade but, he confesses, “I didn’t think it was something you could do for a living,” so he initially pursued economics after being accepted at Stanford. An unexpected theatrical experience there convinced him to change his major to drama and ultimately led him to NYU’s elite Tisch School of the Arts, from which he graduated with an MFA in 2001. He soon thereafter signed with an agent, but spent the next 15 years doing mostly regional theater and small parts on episodic TV (with some notable exceptions being a cop with an eating disorder on FX’s Starved, a vampire hunter on The WB’s Supernatural, a detective on CBS’s Person of Interest and seven years as a doctor on Lifetime’s Army Wives). He says he never felt discontent during those years, though, because of “the deal that I made with God when I graduated from school.” He recounts, “I said, ‘If I can pay the bills by doing what I love, I’ll be alright.”

It’s safe to say that ever since he landed the role of Darden, the emotionally-reserved prosecutor of O.J. Simpson, on The People v. O.J. Simpson, which kickoffed Ryan Murphy‘s anthology series American Crime Story, he has not had to worry about paying his bills. “I felt the way that every actor in Los Angeles feels every pilot season: this could be the one,” he says with a chuckle as he reflects on his prospects of landing the part, before acknowledging that he had a bit more reason to feel confident after he initially read for it: “I crushed that audition.” When he found out that he had indeed won it, he says, “I cried, because I knew that it had the potential to do what it ultimately has done, in terms of changing my life.”

Brown admits that he felt “euphoria” about the not-guilty verdict in the actual Simpson case 22 years ago. “It had to do with a history of racism, of being subjected to inhumane cruelty, of being treated like and made to feel like ‘I was less than a human being,'” he says. But, after he stepped into Darden’s skin, he marvels, “I was feeling his rage.” Brown never got to speak with Darden (Darden declined his request), but he studied him through archival footage, books and other research, and captured his essence, so much so that he, a virtual unknown until The People v. O.J., prevailed in an Emmy category that also included costars David Schwimmer and John Travolta, and he was greeted with a standing ovation. “To have that kind of love from your peers, from the people inside the room, was a special moment,” he reflects. “I will never forget it for the rest of my life.”

While waiting to find out if he had won the part in The People v. O.J., Brown made the film Whiskey Tango Foxtrot for directors Glenn Ficarra and John Requa — and after that film was finished, but prior to the release of O.J., they recommended him to Dan Futterman, who had written a pilot for NBC called This Is Us, which they had been hired to direct. “It was the best network pilot that I’d gotten the chance to read in 15 years,” Brown says, which explains his delight at winning that role. “It was easy to work on because [as an actor] you don’t get those kind of words all the time.” The pilot quickly was ordered to series, became the highest rated new series of the 2016-2017 television season and became the first broadcast show to land a best drama series Emmy nomination in six years; it might yet become the first in 11 years to win.

For Brown, This Is Us carries extra meaning for two reasons. For one, he gets to play a black family man — an adopted son, a husband and a father of two adopted children — which he feels is a type of character that TV doesn’t project to society often enough. Also, the show has proven cathartic for him because, when he was just ten, his own father died suddenly, and he never got the sort of closure he would have liked — but on This Is Us, a tear-jerking storyline (all-too-briefly) brings together Randall and his own biological father (Ron Cephas-Jones). “It was my entree into the character: fathers and sons,” Brown acknowledges. “I’m glad it resonated with people, because it was cathartic for me.” He continues, “I felt like I got a chance to say goodbye to my dad.”

Primetime Emmy Awards This Is Us

#Awards #Brown #Chatter #Podcast #Sterling

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anavoliselenu · 8 years ago

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Creighton chapter 21

“Hold your horses, you breaking-and-entering fool,” I yell back. I grab my makeup bag and use the concealer to cover the circles under my eyes, and then add a swipe of bronzer over my cheeks and another coat of mascara and lip gloss. That’ll have to be good enough. Logan’s idea of reintroducing me to my roots starts with food at Mr. Burger, the only fast-food joint in town since McDonald’s won’t bother setting up a franchise here. It’s surprisingly quiet for a Saturday night, but that suits me just fine. We order and slip into a back booth to wait for the server to bring out our food. The joke around town is that Mr. Burger’s is so slow because they have to go kill the cow first. It’s twenty minutes before two loaded cheeseburgers, seasoned fries, and chocolate milkshakes are sitting in front of us. I haven’t consumed this many calories in one sitting . . . probably since the last time I ate here. This meal is miles away from the decadent steak that Justin ordered in our hotel room. The food is amazing. The company isn’t half bad either. I don’t have much to say, but Logan fills the silence, even though I get the feeling he’s not normally this chatty of a guy. He tells me about coming back to town after leaving the Marines. He won’t say exactly what it is he did in the Marines, so I suspect it was something interesting. He came back to town just days after I left for Nashville, and knew he couldn’t be idle, so he applied for a job at the garage he worked at all through high school. Apparently he spent a lot of his down time in the service restoring classic cars, so Chuck, the prior owner, hired him back on the spot. “When Chuck told me he planned to retire about three months later, I knew that I couldn’t let him sell it to someone else. Coming back to that damn garage was the best homecoming I had. He wasn’t surprised at all that I didn’t want him to sell it to anyone else, and was cool enough to help me buy it from him. I’ve almost got him paid off, so the bank loan for the renovations was a leap of faith. It’s turning out just fine, though.” I’m amazed that in six months he’s managed to buy the place, renovate the whole thing, and turn Chuck’s old garage into a sought-after place for classic car restoration and repairs. To say I’m impressed would be an understatement. It appears that I’m not the only one who’s capable of going after a dream. I’m also slightly stunned that we get out of Mr. Burger without being bothered. I guess I’m not such a big deal, even in my own town. Apparently only Miranda Lambert is famous in a small town. Act II of Operation Reintroduce-Selena-to-Her-Roots takes us right back to the place it all started—Brews and Balls. I should have figured, since it’s really the only place for people to go for entertainment in Gold Haven. The reception I get there is much different than at Mr. Burger. You’d think I’m the returning hero who has been away for years and years, which clearly, I’m not. “Hot damn, look what the cat dragged in,” Benny yells over the percussion of balls hitting the lane and striking pins. He shuffles over as fast as his cane can hold him, and yanks me into a hug. “Hey, Ben. How ya been?” It’s the same way my gran greeted him for years, and it rubbed off on me long ago. He pulls back, lowers the old wooden cane back to the floor to steady himself, and tilts his head to one side. “I think I’m more interested in how you’ve been, Mrs. Billionaire Country Star.” Heat burns in my cheeks. I don’t want to talk about the me that exists outside this town. That’s not why I’m here. “I’m fine. Just taking some time off.” He opens his mouth to ask something else, but shuts it just as quick. I glance sideways at Logan, and he’s giving Benny a hard look. Shielding me from questions? “How about some shoes and a lane, Ben?” Logan asks. The older man nods enthusiastically. “Of course. Anything for my girl here. Except, there’s a catch.” “Ben—” Logan starts, but I interrupt. I know exactly what Benny’s going to throw out as the catch. “I’ll sing one song. But not one of mine.” “Done. Go bowl a few games, and I’ll meet you in the bar later.” We bowl two games, and the easy camaraderie I feel with Logan surprises me. It’s not the heightened anticipation I seem to have every moment I spend around Justin, but it’s also a lot less stressful. It’s just . . . easy. It’s also impossible not to compare the men, one rough around the edges and the other smooth and cultured. Both dangerous in their own way.

I know how to behave around a guy like Logan, and not just because I’ve spent a lot of time with Boone on tour. Logan’s upbringing wasn’t all that different from mine. I can throw sass at him and give as good as I get, all without feeling awkward or trashy. I give as good as I get with Justin too, but when I’m in his world, I lack confidence because I’m totally out of my element. On tour, things were better, but that was him playing in my world. Wasn’t there some old saying about a bird and a fish falling in love? Are we just too different? My thoughts are distracting enough to make me throw a gutter ball. Damn. There goes my three-hundred game, which I’m perfectly capable of bowling, thank you very much. And that’s just another skill a billionaire’s wife probably shouldn’t have on her résumé. I excel at bowling, deep-frying pickles, and singing songs about pickup trucks and broken hearts. I hate feeling like this, so inadequate, and I hate that I’m the one digging the slices in deeper. How can I ever truly be good enough for Justin if I never believe it myself? Annika’s words jab at me again and again. Logan throws a strike, thankfully distracting me yet again. He can also bowl a three hundred. I watched him on plenty of dates when I worked here in school. Just another difference between the two men. Brews and Balls is the kind of place a guy like Logan brings a date. I try to picture Justin here and find it utterly impossible. But I was so determined to shake this place off and never come back, so what does it matter if I can’t picture Justin here? I wanted a bigger life, and I got it. When am I going to get the guts to live it instead of just float along and let the tide pull me in and out? I grab my ball, line up . . . and throw another one into the gutter. Turning away from the lane, I drop into the molded blue plastic chair and rest my head into my hands. “Selena, what the hell?” Logan asks. “I can’t do this. I need to stop thinking. I don’t want to think any more tonight, and this isn’t working.” Logan sets his ball back into the ball return and lowers himself into the seat beside me. Underlying the woodsy scent of his aftershave or deodorant is that combination from the garage—oil, exhaust, rubber, and citrus. It’s not unpleasant. It’s real. But it’s not Justin. “What can I do? How do we get you to stop thinking?” he asks. I can only think of one solution. “Let’s get drunk.” Logan shakes his head. “I’m driving.” “Then I’ll get drunk.” He doesn’t speak for the space of a breath. Finally, he leans his elbows on his knees and looks sidelong at me. “You sure?” “Abso-fucking-lutely.” I may not know the answer to any other question I need to answer, but this one, I have handled. Like a boss. With a shake of his head, he says, “Pick your poison then. And maybe get that song in for Ben before you’re too lit to be able to sing it.” “I think tonight is a tequila kind of night. And I can never be too lit to sing.” I scrunch my brow. “I don’t think. I guess we’ll see.” “Fuck, I know this is a bad idea.” But go along with it, he does. Shots are lined up on the bar, and I forgo the salt and the lime, opting instead to take my shots straight and chase them with beer. This decision is probably one I’ll regret later. Almost certainly. But I’m already feeling the buzz and forgetting to care. Benny is already cuing up a song when I grab the microphone from the stand. I don’t even care what it is. I just want to get onstage, even if it’s a tiny stage in a Podunk bowling alley, because this is one place I feel completely confident. I’m going to sing my heart out tonight. These people may have come to bowl and drink, but they’re about to get one hell of a show. The music that comes from the speakers makes me laugh, a real, honest-to-God belly laugh. Something I haven’t done in longer than I can remember. Somehow Benny always knows where my head’s at. He’s cranked up Miranda Lambert’s “Famous in a Small Town.” I belt out the lyrics and find my happy place. Benny plays song after song, and the tequila keeps flowing. I don’t count the songs or the shots, or the number of people gathering in the small bar of the bowling alley. I don’t keep track of any of it. I don’t notice the whispers of the crowd, the flashing cameras, or later, the people stepping aside to let someone pass. My eyes are closed and tears are welling in them as I sing the last lines to Sara Evans’s “Born to Fly.” It’s the song that started it all on this very stage. A little overwhelmed, I slide the microphone back into the stand and lean over, hands on my thighs, trying to reel myself back in. “Another shot, Selena?” someone calls. I hold my arm out, making a thumbs-up sign. And that’s when I hear a familiar deep voice say, “I think you’ve had enough, my dear.”

You know what plays havoc with a man’s ego? Having a wife who has walked out on him twice. Luckily, my ego is big enough to handle it. But these detective missions to find out where my wife has run off to are getting a little old. Listening to her sing, however, will never get old. I stand at the back of the crowd in the karaoke bar of the bowling alley and get my first look at Selena on the stage where she found the courage to chase her dream. She’s fucking magnificent, and I’m far from the only person in the crowd to think so. These people, who she probably claims as her people, are in awe of her talent. Which they should be. When the last note fades away, I move through the crowd, making my way to the stage. I have no idea what I’m going to say, but I don’t think it really matters. My being here should send a message all of its own. “Another shot, Selena?” someone yells over the now cheering crowd, but Selena is bent over at the waist, trying to catch her breath—something I’ve never seen her do onstage. It appears my wife has had plenty of shots tonight. Conscious of all the cameras flashing, I make an executive decision and step up to the stage. “I think you’ve had enough, my dear.” Her head jerks up and she meets my eyes. “That’s not your call,” she says, her words slurring. “It is tonight. We’re leaving.” “I’m not going back to New York. Not now.” I stiffen at her adamant statement. “I think we should save that discussion for when you’re sober.” “Fine. But I’m not done.” She grabs the microphone from the stand and calls out, “How about one more?” The crowd roars. “Let’s take it back to some classic Reba!” Selena yells. “I’ve got a craving for a little something ‘Fancy.’” The crowd roars again, this time to a deafening volume. The music starts to play, and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard the song, but I’ve never really listened to the lyrics before. But when Selena sings them, they sink into me one line at a time. Everything she’s said about her mother and running off with men who have enough money to take care of her for a little while comes filtering back into my brain. This song is a message to me, and I think I’m hearing it loud and clear. What I don’t know is how the hell I’m going to get through to her that she isn’t just some kind of ornament in my life. She is my life. Selena isn’t a woman who will be swayed by words. I know that now. She needs me to show her. And guess what? That I can fucking do. Her clear, stunning voice carries the last note for what seems like forever, and the bar thunders with applause and cheering. This time I don’t wait. I step closer, swing her up into my arms, and jump down off the stage. “What are you—?” “I’m taking you home.” “I’m not going—” “To your home, Selena.” “Oh.” Her arms twine around my neck, and she holds on tight while I maneuver us through the crowd and out of the bar, into the lobby of the bowling alley. I feel a tap on my shoulder and glance back. It’s a guy. A big guy. “She’s done for tonight,” I tell him. “You can get her autograph another time, man.” “If I wanted her autograph, I would’ve gotten it when I picked her up tonight.” Everything in me stills. “Logan, it’s okay—” Selena starts. I don’t even wait for her to finish her sentence. I turn and walk for the doors. As soon as she said his name, a seething possessiveness shredded my better judgment. I have to get out of here before I put her down and take this guy on in a way that he’ll understand—with my fists, until one or both of us are bleeding. I’m hoping, if he has any sense, he’ll stay inside. But I hear the heavy booted footsteps behind me as I carry Selena outside to my rental. “You ain’t just coming in here and carrying her out without me hearing from Selena’s lips that she wants to go with you.” I left the car unlocked, figuring that no one was going to steal it. I grab the door handle and rip it open before depositing Selena inside and slamming it shut. She yells something, but I slide my hand into my pocket and hit the Lock button before she can open it. In her drunken state, it’ll take her a few moments to figure out how to unlock the fucking thing. Thank you, Cadillac. I turn and face Logan. “Apparently I’m at a disadvantage, because you know who I am, but I’m pretty sure Selena has never mentioned anyone named Logan.” He crosses his bulky arms over his chest. He might have thirty pounds on me, but I’m used to sparring with Cannon. And there’s the added factor of me being riled the fuck up and defending my claim to my woman. I’m not afraid to bleed to make a point. “I ain’t tryin’ to get between a husband and wife—” he starts. “Then turn around and head back inside.”

He continues as if I didn’t speak. “But I also don’t believe in letting a woman I brought somewhere leave with another man.” I flex my hands and curl them into fists. “Well, you sure as fuck aren’t leaving with her tonight. So you’re going to have to put that belief on ice.” Even in the dimly lit parking lot, I can see the muscle ticking in his jaw. “If you’re looking to stake a claim on a woman, I suggest you pick one who’s available.” He smirks. “The only reason you had a shot at her is because I didn’t stake a claim.” “Then you missed your shot. The next time we’re in town, I’ll buy you a beer to thank you. Right now, I’d like to get my wife home before she pukes in my rental car.” I say the word wife with undeniable emphasis and satisfaction. “Seems to me a man with a wife like that should learn how to keep a hold on her a little better.” The words aren’t that far off from what Boone said when he ripped me a new asshole several hours ago in Nashville. “You better not keep doing shit that sends her running, or you’re gonna fuckin’ lose her for good,” was Boone’s redneck wisdom. He made his point when he eyed the shotgun hanging above the front door, and when he delivered his final warning. “That girl is one of the good ones. Don’t make her cry, or I’ll be forced to step in and take action. I consider her family.” My explanations placated him enough for him to tell me exactly where she went. Back to the small town she came from is about the last place I would have thought to look, so I owe Thrasher. But I don’t owe this asshole anything. Logan narrows his eyes on me. “This conversation ain’t done.” He jerks his head toward the car door. “But it can wait.” I look at the car as well, and see Selena passed out against the window. Shit. “You know how to get to her gran’s place?” he asks, clearly deducing the problem I’m facing as soon as I do. It’s with annoyance I admit that I don’t have a clue. He’s in the middle of giving me directions when Selena rouses and knocks on the window. Fuck. I recognize that look. I unlock the door and pull it open just in time for Selena to lean her head out and puke on the gravel. I step around the door and gather her hair into a messy ponytail behind her head. A car door opens and shuts nearby, but I’m not paying attention to anything but Selena. Logan reappears, crouching just out of range of the vomit as he holds a bottle of water to her lips. Given the caveman tendencies that spring to life every time I’m around Selena, I should be pissed to see another man helping take care of her, but I’m not. I’m grateful because taking care of her is the only thing that matters right now, not the pissing contest I was engaging in. It’s amazing how simple things become when priorities are highlighted so brilliantly. When she’s finished drinking and puking and drinking again, I smooth Selena’s hair away from her face and tuck it behind her shoulder. She sits back in the seat of the Cadillac and looks from me to Logan. “I’m confused. And drunk.” Her gaze swings back to me. “How the hell are you here? Why?” “I think that conversation is best saved for when you’ll actually remember what I say.” “Good. I don’t know what to say yet . . .” Her words trail off as her eyes slide shut. Fuck. I snap my attention to Logan. “What the fuck did you do to her? I’ve never seen her like this.” “She was trying to forget about you.” His words are like a jab to my gut. I exhale sharply, physically feeling the effects of the verbal sucker punch. “Well, that isn’t fucking happening because I’m not going anywhere.” “Your choice, man, but if a woman asks me for space, I tend to give it to her if the alternative is pushing her away by refusing to give her what she needs.” “What is it with rednecks and their fucking need to dispense backwoods wisdom today?” “I’d resent that if you hadn’t just acknowledged that they’re wise words.” I didn’t mean to imply that, but this Logan guy is apparently smarter than he looks. Selena slumps sideways, on the verge of falling out of the seat, and we both reach out a hand to steady her. He snatches his back when I shoot him a sharp look. Carefully, I sit Selena upright in the seat and close the door. Once she’s situated, I turn to him. That thought about my inner caveman calming down? Total bullshit. I need to make something clear to him before I drive out of here. And considering Selena needs to be in bed five minutes ago, I’ll make it clear without wasting any time. “You see that ring on her finger? That means she’s not fair game, unless that’s the kind of guy you are.” Logan’s head jerks back, and his eyes narrow. “I ain’t lookin’ to poach. I respect that you took vows, but I also know that you don’t have a good track record of keeping ’em.”

Rage boils through me, and I fight the urge to plant my fist in his face. Age-old instinct has me stepping toward him until an old man comes shuffling through the parking lot and inserts his cane between us. “All right now, boys. Time to get ’em out and measure, or get on home.” “I think I’ll take the latter,” I say. I’m pretty sure I hear Logan mumble something about me losing in a dick-measuring contest, but the old man is already speaking again and holding up a purse I recognize as Selena’s. “You know where her gran’s house is?” the old man asks me. “Mostly.” Logan’s instructions were cut off midway through. The old man nods. “You just need to take a right, go a half mile, and it’s the first house on the left after the power lines. If you hit the railroad tracks, you’ve gone too far.” His decidedly country directions are easy enough. He holds the purse up higher. “This is hers.” “Thank you,” I say, reaching out to grab it, but the old man jerks it back before I can. “You take care of that girl, or I’ll have your balls in a sling.” Jesus fucking Christ. I don’t even know what that means, but it’s the third threat I’ve received today. Snatching the purse out of his hand, I nod. “Duly noted.” I turn for the car, but Logan isn’t quite done yet. “Her bedroom is the one at the top of the stairs. You can’t miss it.” His words are tinged with triumph, and once again I want to put him on his ass in this gravel parking lot. “I don’t want to know why you fucking know that.” My voice comes out rough and deep, and I almost don’t recognize it. Logan smirks and tucks one thumb into the pocket of his jeans. “Calm down, rich boy. It ain’t like I popped her cherry.” Why he’s choosing to bait me now, I don’t know, and I don’t fucking care. I also don’t want to drag my lawyer out to Bumfuck, Egypt, to bail me out of jail, even if the charges are justifiable homicide. So I take the high road; I threaten him. “You do know I can afford to make you disappear, right?” I round the car and reach for the driver’s side handle, pausing in anticipation of his response. Logan leans against a black truck parked next to the Cadillac, and I’d bet my jet it’s his. “Out here, a man does his own killin’ and buryin’. I know miles of mine shaft where you’d never be found,” he drawls. I straighten and take his measure. “I get that you’re a cocky son of a bitch, but what’s your angle here?” He meets my gaze without hesitation. “I didn’t like the way Selena looked when she rolled into town, and you’re the most likely cause.” I imagine her looking tired and stressed to the max, the way she did before everything went to shit last night at the MoMA event, and I want to get her back to her grandmother’s house to take care of her properly. Last night left a lot to be desired on both our parts, but I’m here to fix whatever broke between us. I keep my words steady, even as my temper flares hotter. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Logan shifts his shoulders back, and his hands tighten into fists at his sides. “I’m making it my business.” I glance at Selena, passed out in the passenger seat, before looking back to Logan. “I don’t have time for this right now, but if you’ve still got a death wish in the morning, you know where I’ll be.” He shoves off the truck and steps toward me, and this time it’s my hands balling into fists. “Some of us have to work in the morning. Like me, on your wife’s piece-of-shit car that broke down the second she pulled into town.” I curse under my breath. “Don’t bother fixing it. I’ll buy her something when we get home.” I don’t know what she was driving, but I’m guessing it wasn’t the Maserati I’d pick for her. “You sure she’s leaving with you?” Logan says smugly. “Abso-fucking-lutely.” I won’t allow for any alterative outcome. “That’s the same answer your wife gave when I asked her if she wanted to get drunk tonight.” I grit my teeth as I yank the door open. Logan is still leaning against his truck as I pull out of the parking lot of the bowling alley, gravel flying. I swear his smug smile grows bigger, and I hope the stones chipped the paint of his truck. Fucker. We make it to Selena’s gran’s front porch before she starts puking again, and I know it’s going to be a long night. And tomorrow? Tomorrow, Selena and I need to have our own come-to-Jesus talk. My head pounds and the light cutting across the room hurts my eyes, even though they’re still closed. I make a sound that I think qualifies as a moan, but it’s guttural enough to be an animal noise. Rolling my head to the side, I see a glass on the nightstand, and pills beside it. “Thank you, Logan,” I mumble. I almost fall out of bed when a deep voice answers, “It wasn’t Logan.” I shoot up in bed and regret it instantly as nausea roils in my gut. “Justin?” He’s seated in the tiny chair that belongs to my vanity. He looks ridiculous because he’s big enough to crush it.

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