#just watched a video of him being so sweet to someone who showed him anakin art-- like being all amazed that he drew it and complimenting

[magnusbae]

why is it that every single interaction hayden has, he's so down to earth and humble, shows real emotion and doesn't give polished sparkling celebs talks--- how can you be so precious after all the grief morbid fandom put you through in the 2000s god if i was him i'd be long since sith no lies

[growup-thatbeautiful]

Clone Wars Character on TikTok

Anakin- Poor Anakin, man does not have a that many creative ideas, but his life and ideas are strange enough that he gets a lot of followers easily. He’s also almost constantly videoing things too, so he’s able to get real time. There are so so many videos showing the reactions that Obi-Wan has because of his dumbass plans.

Everyone, literally everyone, thought he was an f-boy until he made a post, super confused, saying that he has a wife?? That he loves so much? So, coincidentally, the next videos he posts are him and his wife, who doesn’t show her face but there’s a poll going on about who it is. Most people have figured it, though, because some of his videos are him just listening to Mrs. Skywalker rant about people in the Senate when she comes home to him.

He also tries to convince everyone that he’s the best husband in the world by videoing himself cooking her dinner, which he always burns. In those videos, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, staples on Anakin’s account, are heard in the background giving him absolutely terrible advice on how to fix it. They usually end up with burnt pans and a whole bunch of frantic clips of Obi-Wan trying to turn off the oven, “My dear, your time is up.” And Anakin in the background “Force, that’s not going to kriffing work, Master. I’m coming in with the water gun.” (No one questions why there’s a water gun.) Ahsoka is just….chilling in the background. She’s just as clueless as the rest of them, but it’s funnier to watch them almost burn down Padame’s kitchen before she tries to step in and make things worse.

Ahsoka-Her feed is a more controlled chaos than Anakin’s, but chaos nonetheless. She does a lot of dance challenges with Fives, and is sometimes able to rope in Anakin, who tries really hard but is terrible at it, and Rex, who doesn’t actually dance and just stands there staring at the camera. There was one time she got Obi-Wan to do it with her, and he absolutely crushed it. All that grace has to help him somewhere else, right? Because she does dance videos, though, sometimes she get inappropriate comments or duets, which Rex, Obi-Wan, Plo, Fives, and Anakin all duet or make a video about explaining that she’s a minor and how unacceptable this is. Well, that’s what every but Rex does. Rex won’t let anyone, anyone, talk to his little sister like that, so he makes a super menacing video of him cleaning his guns.

Needless to say, she does a lot of videos with Rex. They do a lot of random videos of their conversations and pointless arguments. They also do so a lot of competitions with each other, rather it’s staring contests or sparring matches. Their sparring match videos are actually super popular, and they get more and more intense and complicated as they go on. There are never any weapons involved, but they get to show off combat skills and have huge fights across the ship or compound. Their usually filmed by a hysterical Anakin or Fives. Obi-Wan has made his disapproval clear, but there’s a video on Ahsoka’s account of him betting on the outcome.

Obi-Wan- Mostly on Cottagecore TikTok and posts aesthetic videos of him meditating, making fancy, pretty tea drinks, or any other mundane thing he does. He also posts self-defense videos to teach people how to protect themselves, and gives tips of how to use the force and how to help meditate. I think he posts once a week, but posts a bunch at one time because he’ll have one day of silence where he can get stuff for himself done. Basically, his account is to comfort people, to help people, in perfect Obi-Wan fashion.

He also posts encouraging videos to cheer people up when they need it. Cute messages like “Today’s going to be a good day” with that award winning Negotiator smile that get galaxy wide comments and duets. Sometimes the messages border on him illegally sharing decisions that the Senate’s made, like when he announced on his feed that a certain Planet should get ready to party because a certain vote had gone a certain way.

Sometimes, though, he posts videos of Ahsoka, Anakin, or Cody doing incredibly stupid things. It’s become a series, he shows the person do or say the stupidest things, and then he zooms in on someone else’s face. The most common duo is Anakin and Rex, but sometimes there’s Waxer and Cody, once or twice, Obi-Wan and Cody.

Rex- He doesn’t post a lot, and when he does he’s usually not really in them. People only know him specifically because he’s in so many of Ahsoka’s videos. His are mostly “the stuff I have to deal with videos” showing petty fights between some of the 501st or some animal that a soldier decided they wanted to sneak into the ship. That, of course, lead to a blowup on his account, so he started posting lots of content with his brothers. Ahsoka has the notion that he’s doing it to help the way people see Clones, but he does seem to enjoy it a lot.

He, like Obi-Wan, posts hand to hand combat training video to help people in the galaxy, put his training to more use. He makes sure to show how to hold your first in a punch, how to safely clean a blaster, how to take a punch. Some of his posts are to teach people about clones and mando’a traditions. But he’s not all serious. He likes making videos of him and his brothers when they go out to do things for fun or they go out to 79’s.

This one might be a bit far fetched, but I think he would also post videos of him and Ahsoka doing mundane things together, repainting their armour, making bracelets or some stuff on the floors of the bunks during hyperspace. It’s calmer than what Ahsoka posts, and purposely so.

Fives-Oh man. Fives’ account is a wreck. Half of the videos are him running away from something he’s done and the other half are him running into things that he shouldn’t about to be doing. Shakily filmed, someone (usually himself) screaming in the background, you can hear him panting and out of breath. A lot of the times Anakin is with him or chasing after him, and as you can almost always hear Rex cursing and yelling at them to stop, especially if they haven’t done the thing yet because that means they have a plan. When Fives has a plan it ends up being worse than when he makes it up on the spot. 

He also posts videos of him giving people in the streets compliments, because he’s sweet like that. He usually gets pretty funny reactions most of the time, and the few times they’re bad reactions he simply flips the camera and grimaces, then, of course, starts laughing because he’s not going to let one person put him down.

He also has a series of him painting the Bi flag all over the ship and waiting to see people’s reactions. The cutest was that one time Ahsoka walked past and ran her fingers along it softly and smiling. Also notable was the time Obi-Wan caught him midway through and just pretended he didn’t see him. All of those are posted with the persons permission, of course.

Aayla and Bly- They share an account where they do ALL of the couple-y stuff. Any couples challenge that they’re asked to do, they do. It’s hard to do the challenges like “You could’ve been nicer to me today” because they’re both on it all the time and have definitely heard of it, but they make do with all kinds of others. Aayla and Bly are definitely one of those couples that adopts all the kids that follow their account, and they’re ready to fight anyone who says anything bad the Clones or the Jedi.

There’s also a large amount of videos that some of the 327th takes of them cuddling together, training together, polishing weapons together. Basically, their account is them being cute and the rest of the 327th either being incredibly supportive of them or gagging at all the PDA. They start a trend where they go up in front of random people around the ship and start making out to get the reaction. Some examples of the best reactions are franticly running outside of the room, slapping Bly across the back of the head, and wild cheering.

Cody: You’re kidding, right? He does not have time to do the TikTok, nor does he understand TikTok at all. He is in most of Obi-Wan’s videos, and he’s sometimes in Rex’s too. Most of the time he’s telling all of them not to do whatever they’re about to do, or he’s sitting on the floor and crying with Rex.

Anakin actually started making videos called “When you see your dad and your other dad be romantic.” Where it’s just him finding Obi-Wan and Cody doing cute things in random places, followed by Anakin or Ahsoka making faces at the camera.

Plo- Parent side of TikTok for sure. His account features so many, so many, videos of him doing fun things with the 104th. He may seem like an extremely serious man, but put him with all of his kids and has almost no impulse control. They ask to stop at that restaurant they saw on the way to their mission, and he makes it happen. Everyone pretends not to notice because they wouldn’t dare go against him.

This account is also mostly run by everyone in the 104th because A. Plo doesn’t have a password and B. That’s how they get a bunch of footage. The phone is passed around throughout the day, but all of the content focuses on the Plo’s Bros relationships. Anything that he does, from giving a shiny a thumbs up when he comes up with a new plan, to teaching some of the older clones who are a little overworked how to take deep breaths. All the followers also a learn the Plo is absolutely terrible at any kind of card games, which is shown when they post video after video of the bets he looses.

Next for Star Wars I’ll be doing Bad Batch, then, because this got so long, I’ll do one with some more characters! Sorry it’s so long, this ran away from me a bit.

Some clone wars beautiful mutuals @radbatch (Who is the absolute best person to talk to about Ahsoka ever period end of story) of course and @maiseey (Who is now my my mutual? How?)

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2021 | Part II

For anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal. I think the first one was 2011? Maybe? In which case, woohoo, ten years of scrapbooking!

It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.

A reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read 80 books (as of today, i am at 31 books, which sounds not great but goodreads assures me that it’s only 1 book behind schedule), finish five video games (at two at the moment... mostly because I keep dragging my feet on actually finishing P5R), write more than 20 fics (at... 6) or something larger than 20k (negative), and write either an original short story or start a novel (i have started plotting for the novel? does that count?)

Past Years

MOVIES

May

Mortal Kombat

(SW: The Phantom Menace)

(SW: Attack of the Clones)

(SW: Revenge of the Sith)

(SW: Rogue One)

(SW: A New Hope)

SW: Clone Wars

Enola

Wonder Woman 1984

Dark Phoenix

(Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring)

June

(Princess Mononoke)

Sailor Moon: Eternal

In The Heights

Wish Dragon

July

Luca

(Thor: Ragnarok)

(Doctor Strange)

(Guardians of the Galaxy)

Black Widow

Space Jam 2 Electric Boogaloo

August

The Green Knight

Godzilla vs Kong

(Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

BOOKS

May

These Violent Delights | Chloe Gong [Fin]

The Midnight Library | Matt Haig [Fin]

The Galaxy, and the Ground Within | Becky Chambers [Fin]

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott

People We Meet On Vacation | Emily Henry [Fin]

The Soulmate Equation | Christina Lauren [Fin]

June

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott [Fin]

September Love | Lang Leav [Fin]

One Last Stop | Casey McQuiston [Fin]

The Chosen and the Beautiful | Nghi Vo [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 2 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

For the Wolf | Hannah Whitten [Fin]

The Sandman | Neil Gaiman [Fin]

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater

July

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater [Fin]

TAZ: The Crystal Kingdom | The Mcelroys [Fin]

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav

August

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan [Fin]

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 3 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 4 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

PODCASTS

May

The Penumbra Podcast, s3-END

June

The Magnus Archive - Fear Winners 1 & 2

July

Gods of Appalachia, Eps 1-6

(Wolf 359)

Janus Descending

August

(Wolf 359)

Mabel

(Zero Hours, ep 7)

Time:Bombs

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

May

Watcher Entertainment, Are You Scared?

Castlevania, s3, s4 [Fin]

Word of Honor [Fin]

Buzzfeed: Kelsey in Control?

Demon Slayer, s1

June

Demon Slayer, s1 [Fin]

Kim’s Convenience, s4

Leverage, s5 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3

Loki, s1

Lucifer, s2, s3, s4

Trese, s1

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime, s3, s6?)

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural, s1)

Sweet Tooth, s1

Love, Death & Robots

July

Loki, s1 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3 [Fin]

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Shark Week

Lucifer, s5

Masters of the Universe: Revelation

August

The Owl House, s2

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Watcher Weekly+

Buzzfeed: Ruining History

Star Trek Discovery, s1, s2, s3

What If..., s1

VIDEO GAMES

May

Monster Hunter Rise, 12 hours

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, 25 hours

Pokemon Go

June

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, ? hours

Pokemon Go

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, ??? Hours

Persona 5 Royal, ??? hours

July

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

August

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

Ori and the Blind Forest [Fin]

DELIGHTFUL FIC

May

The word is help. by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 9k | In a flash, Fett has his blaster out and pointed at Luke’s head. “You’re right,” he says. “Turnabout’s fair play. So maybe I oughta shoot you.”

Don’t be afraid. by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 12k | “Padawan Kenobi,” Yoda says, after a moment. “Complete your training, Master Skywalker will.”

who carried the hill by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 22k | Din’s about to head up the ramp onto the newly-repaired Razor Crest when a string pulls taut around his heart and yanks him into the sky.

Tapestry by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 8k | In March, Obi-Wan drags Anakin to another faculty party, where Anakin gets all sorts of wrong ideas about Quinlan Vos and decides to fellate Obi-Wan in a coat closet about it.

wonderterror by peradi | Star Wars | Leia/Han/Luke | 6k | Anakin Skywalker is the son of the Force.He’s half human and half something monumental.What does that make his children?

Xen Gardens by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan & Shane | 1k | Shane Madej saves the day.A strange man comes to congratulate him.

A Series of Better Decisions by SassySnowperson | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 9k | "Kill him. Kill him now!" Chancellor Palpatine hissed, as Anakin held the two blades against Dooku's neck. "No," Anakin said. "It's not the Jedi way."

Futurus (-a -um) by cadesama | Star Wars | Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan | 60k | Cracked hyperdrive? No problem. Just hold it together with the Force. Time travel? Well. That could be a bigger problem.

Comfort in Wartime by Rosbridge | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 4k | Obi-Wan is exhausted, drunk, and just about out of fucks to give.

spark me up, i'm a firework (i'll burst into light) by coffeeinallcaps | FATWS | Bucky/Sam | 7k | "You know how the super-soldier serum makes everything, well, super? I guess you could say that's what happened to my sex drive."

Thaw by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 6k | That’s what hope does to you, Luke remembers now. It lingers at the back of your mind, whispering maybe, maybe, so that knowing a plan is stupid isn’t enough to keep you from trying it.

Christ in Repose by spqr | Din/Luke | 8k | More on this story as it develops. Subscribe to HNN’s JEDI WATCH newsletter for instant updates on Jedi sightings throughout the galaxy.

Insufferable by perkynurples | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Wen Kexing asks a question. Zhou Zishu only hesitates to answer for a little while.

parasitic, parasocial by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 45k | Xue Yang stumbles upon the channel of Fuxue, a popular videogame streamer, and immediately becomes completely and utterly obsessed with him. Unfortunately, Fuxue has a boyfriend -- but that's fine: Xue Yang loves a challenge.

Aaron Burr has Hamilton's RSI and he isn't pleased about it. by DragonBandit | Hamilton | Hamilton/Aaron Burr | 3k | Aaron knows 2 things about his soulmate: The first is that they're angry about everything. The second is that they need to fucking sleep.

dinluke lawyer au by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 31k | At 1:18 a.m., just when Luke is starting to think he might’ve gotten away with something, Biggs Darklighter shows up on the other side of his desk and says, “I can’t believe you called in sick to get shotgun married to a Mando.”

like, comment, subscribe by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | Lord of the Rings | Gimli/Legolas | 90k+ | Legolas meets Gimli for lunch - unfortunately, he meets someone else, too.

a jackal; a thief by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Ye Baiyi | 11k | This is not the first time Wen Kexing’s body has been poisoned like this.

you're the trouble that i always find by sundiscus | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 27k | “Do you know him?” Jin Wang asks.The ringing in Zhou Zishu's ears gets louder. “No, Wangye,” he says.At Zhou Zishu’s voice, the prisoner freezes.

vampire!wwx threadfic by sundiscus | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | ??? words | in which vampires exist in a modern cultivation au, lwj is investigating a string of strange deaths, and wwx is a vampire he can’t seem to kill.

Velle by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | LotR | Gimli/Legolas | 29k | Velle (Latin): to want.

June

May All My Wounds Be Mortal by hansbekhart | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 10k | Peeled out of his many robes, Wen Kexing’s body reveals itself to be mostly leg. He strips eagerly, grinning up at Zhou Zishu as if this is another joke between them. See? Wen Kexing’s body seems to say, I have no secrets from you.

drop by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 4k |  Xue Yang has had this dream before.

Splenda by Tierfal | FMA | Ed/Roy | 19k | WIP | A sugar daddy AU that barely even qualifies as a sugar daddy AU, because these two can't do anything right.

From the Ashes by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 3k | “This doesn’t need to leave this room,” Ryan had said that first time. “Casual is my middle name.”

Whale Songs by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 2k | It could be humming, he thinks. Some distant angelic humming. What it’s humming about, he’d have to find out the hard way. All he can hear in his mind’s ear is come closer. There’s so much more in the depths than you’ve ever known.

A Good Bargain by Neery | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 11k | The Window of Heaven captures the Ghost Valley's master. Zhou Zishu is put in charge of interrogating him.

So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 13k | Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.

the agony and the irony by arostine | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 44k | WIP |  Ryan has a lot on his plate right now. He’s one of three members of his species employed at BuzzFeed, and the only male omega, and his boss keeps asking him to do videos about being an iterant ‘to educate the humans,’ when what he really wants to do is videos about ghosts.

the rest of your life by bestliars | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 30k | MYSTERY DISAPPEARANCE IN THE MIDWEST! The year is 2034. Successful video producer Ryan Bergara uproots his whole life to take care of his friend’s children.

sit in my circle and hold my hand by soda_coded | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 14k | Ryan and Shane work for the metaphysical department of the LAPD, fool around and get cursed.

Idle Hands (Do the Devil's Work) by ma_malice | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 4k | In which the only upside to being a demon stuck in a seasonal Chicago snowstorm is the ability to abandon your body and possess your boyfriend in LA.

Shell Game by Giddygeek | The Magicians | Quentin/Eliot | 20k | Or, Quentin can’t believe he never thought to ask if there was a magical time in Fillory when people swapped bodies with the last person they slept with.

Contention by hollybennett123 | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu/Ye Baiyi | 3k |  The Zhou Zishu of ten minutes ago, who first agreed to the whole thing — the evening’s conversation and general bickering over drinks taking an unexpectedly filthy turn — had been thinking only about the imminent pounding on offer and not, well, everything else that might come with it.

Necrocafé by etothey | Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon/Harrow | 2k | Harrowhark Nonagesimus isn't sure which confounds her more: the new boxes of bones she is to animate, or the hot redheaded courier who brings the boxes.

simple man by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius, Loki/Loki | 6k | “Tell you what,” says Mobius, shortly after the Timekeepers have sentenced Loki to death, “why don’t I take care of this?”

(Un)disclosed desires by Springandastorm | Loki | Loki/Mobius | "That's not how I see you at all, Loki." Mobius said, unexpectedly earnest. "We all play roles sometimes." 

sources of light by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Zhou Zishu makes a difficult choice in order to save Wen Kexing's life. The morning after is not an easy one.

warm company, cold nights by janonny | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 23k | He gave Zhou Zishu a lingering look from beneath his lashes. “Your virtuous wife will accompany you of course.”

July

the potential of broken things by icarusinflight | Harry Potter | Drarry | 11k | "Can you feel that? Some things want to be what they once were. The original spell is still there, and it wants to work again. All it takes is a little push and then"—Draco clicks his fingers of his free hand—"snap, everything will go back into place."

little beast by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 7k | Payback's a bitch.

you, undeniable you by returnsandreturns | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Jake/Amy | 1k | “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Jake asks, for the fourth time. “Because we can just ditch that thing, toss it out a window, do it missionary like the founding fathers intended.”

Car Talk by drunkbedelia | Loki | Mobius/Loki | 1k | ‘When I pruned myself, I thought I might be able to find Loki,' Sylvie said.

one too many by sarcasticfishes | Watcher | Ryan/Shane | 1k | “Stay here,” Ryan says, just casual enough, “I’ll drive you home tomorrow.”

Tencent and Chill by quoth_the_ravenclaw | The Untamed | Nie Huaisang/Nie Mingjue | 2k | “Da-ge,” Huaisang whines, all for show, as much a performance as the actors on screen. He wiggles his toes. “My feet are so sore, you worked me too hard.”

The House at the End of the World by Hopetohell | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1k | What will they do, now that they can do anything?

moderate the middle by ElisAttack | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 9k | People only smiled with their eyes when it was real. Unless they were a Loki. No matter the differences between the variants, their tricky grins were a constant as much as they were indiscernible.

Lost and Sound by snack_size | Loki | Loki/Thor/Sylvie | 5k | “Sylvie, did you help my brother defeat the Time Police?”

push the button (and let me know) by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | “How about this?” hands folded on the table, he watches Loki intently. “If you tell me why, I’ll answer.” 

We're (not) all villains here by sir_not_appearing_in_this_archive | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 19k | WIP | Alone and friendless (once again), Loki has to find a way to set things right, or at least right enough he can comfortably sneak off into the sunset, which starts with one thing: saving Mobius's lost memories.

what remains by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | “You’re no analyst.” Mobius sounds stunned. They are not aligned, they are not in tandem. But there are wistful glimmers of what is now agonisingly out of reach.

worth a shot by thereyoflight | Loki | Loki/Sylvie | 2k | When Loki and Sylvie are moments away from being cornered on the train in Lamentis, they resort to desperate measures.

Bug Problems by xorabbit | Marvel | Grandmaster/Loki | 7k |  Loki ends up on Sakaar, of course, with just that many more schemes to scheme. However, the Grandmaster is not altogether too terrible--a bit of fine luck, for once--and perhaps it's all right to have a better-natured fling while one works out what's next.

our way, no takebacks by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 20k | "Nice speech," Sylvie drawls, but the sarcasm doesn't land.

August

Vennen min by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 12k | The day they let Mobius out of the infirmary, Loki gets assigned to a new handler. This, Mobius is pretty sure, is where the trouble starts.

new terms by dinosuns | Loki | President Loki/Mobius | 21k | For the first time in his life, Loki triumphs. How fitting then, for the end to swiftly barge in unannounced.

Icarus by Waako | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | When Mobius got pruned, he expected two different outcomes. Either eternal peace or eternal emptiness. He certainly didn’t expect a grey sky, ruins of old buildings looming over him, and a Loki variant watching him like he was a piece of fresh meat.

Stress Relief by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 3.5k |  “Let me read you something,” Loki says. He rifles through the pages, clears his throat, and Mobius puts a hand over his eyes because he knows what’s coming before Loki even reads the first word—“Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō—“

just like the weather by sarcasticfishes | BFU | Shane/Ryan/Sara | 6k | “Y’know,” Ryan shrugs. “Friends have kids together sometimes. Like if a same-sex couple has a friend surrogate for them. Or sometimes people just co-parent.”

Woodash and iron and leather by iffervescent | The Witcher | 9k | Jaskier is the only person Geralt's ever been around who doesn't smell of fear

Food of Love by tanktrilby | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 22k | I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

If The Morning Light Sets In by nagia | Castlevania | Sypha/Trevor/Alucard | 45k | Save the Belmonts, save the world.

halfway by ivelostmyspectacles | Castlevania | Sypha/Alucard/Trevor | 12k | Vampire attacks are happening again. Unprovoked, strange, humans and vampires dying alike. A disease. Alucard assures them that he isn't susceptible.

lonely lonely heart by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 7k |  Mobius looks down at the paperwork, gets a sort of flustered farmboy look on his face, looks back up at Loki and says, “You offered to give a cop fellatio in the middle of Central Park.”

Bedrest by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen& Xue Yang | 3k | Xiao Xingchen's newest patient is causing him problems. He just won't stay put.

too little, too late. by raisesomehale | Miraculous Ladybug | Adrien/Marinette | 6k | WIP |  “Ladybug.” Chat’s voice cuts in like molten steel.

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

May

Jesper Fahey | 99 Problems

Jesper Fahey | OLD TOWN ROAD

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

human | kaz brekker

bucky barnes || humble

The Mandalorian || Warriors

The Mandalorian | I'll See You Again

Hope is the light.

►Zhou Zishu & Wen Kexing | Beautiful mess

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

versailles at night | alina & the darkling

look what you made me do | the darkling

Bucky Barnes | Rasputin

Obi-Wan || dirty work

Blood in the water [the Witcher]

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

Enola Holmes || Unstoppable

Shadow & Bone || Fire Meets Fate

Mo Dao Zu Shi Season 3 AMV/Trailer - Teeth

Kylo Ren | STAR WARS

June

MARVEL || Rasputin

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

i dont enjoy hurting people | Loki [1x01]

loki laufeyson • unsteady [⚠ 1x01]

MARVEL || Levitating

Shadow & Bone | Paint It Black

Glitter & Gold | Jesper Fahey

Shadow and Bone | Levitating

wen kexing ✘ zhou zishu | put your lips on mine

Erik Lensherr - Magneto

The Crows || Circus

The Crows | Thrift Shop (Shadow & Bone)

Zemo & Bucky — RASPUTIN [tfatws]

Cruella | Feeling good

Percy Jackson || Watch Me

THE KILLING KIND || The Magnus Archives Animatic

LOKI || Glorious Purpose

The Darkling | Black Heretic

Sam x Bucky || Handclap [HUMOR]

Loki || Lovely

Doctor Strange || Dystopia

Loki & Sylvie || I’m not your friend

Loki || Hate Me

MARVEL || River

Loki & Bucky || Paint It Black

Wanda Maximoff || The Scarlet Witch (WandaVision)

Play With Fire || MARVEL || Loki Doctor Strange Scarlet Witch

MARVEL || Warriors

Loki || God of Mischief || You Do You

(Marvel) Loki | You Will Never Be A God

Marvel's Horror Cinematic Universe

community gardens || the magnus archives PMV

July

Thor || Rise

Loki & Sylvie - Demons in my head [ep.3]

//HUMANS// THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Loki | Lost

A Quiet Place

Loki & Sylvie || Strange Birds

Loki & Sylvie "I won't let you down" | (+1x05)

♚ Loki & Sylvie | If You Love Me (1x04)

Loki & Sylvie | If our love is wrong [Loki +1x04]

Loki and Mobius | Hold On [Loki +1x05]

loki laufeyson • in the end [+ 1x04]

Loki and Sylvie || Feeling Good

Marvel || Black Widow - Counting Stars || Natasha Romanoff 

Cruella || Little Wicked

MARVEL || This is My Time || Shang-Chi Trailer Music

Sylvie | Unstoppable (Loki +1x03)

Loki and Sylvie (Lady Loki) || Play With Fire

Wanda and Vision || Dancing With Your Ghost

Wanda Maximoff and Loki || You Should See Me In A Crown

Loki and his Variants ⚔ King of Space [ep.5]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ This world is slowing down [ep.5]

Sylvie || Confident (+1x04)

•Loki x Sylvie ⱠΞⴼ King and Queens•

Loki - In The End | Marvel

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Out of Control [ep.4]

Loki & Mobius | Dynasty [LOKI/+1x04]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Love War [ep.6]

(Marvel) Loki | Glorious Purpose

(MARVEL) Loki | Chaos

Loki | In The End [+1X06]

Loki x Sylvie | Another Love

Loki & Sylvie | Arcade [ Loki +1x06]

MARVEL || The Assembled Universe (c/w ASTrix UI)

August

Natasha & Yelena || Do It Like A Dude

Black Widow || Smells Like Teen Spirit

MARVEL || Uptown Funk

MARVEL || 1 in a Million

MARVEL/DC || Dies Irae

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness TRAILER #1

MARVEL || Loki 

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

May

The Wild One - Suzi Quatro

What’s So Funny ‘Bout - Sharon Van Etten

Levitating - Dua Lipa

The Underground - Meg Myers

You Won’t Find Me - Narrow Skies

Elixir of Life - Leah

Salt and the Sea - The Lumineers

ERROR - Niki, Kradness

Runaway - AURORA

Butterfly Water - Pastelle

Close to the Sun - Porcelain Pill

Selkie-boy - The Lost Words

Good Riddance - Annapantsu

Die Anywhere Else - Julia Henderson

Heat Waves - Glass Animals

Down - St Vincent

Word of Honor OST

Welcome to the Pleasuredome - Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Shy Away - Twenty One Pilots

Follow You - Imagine Dragons

I’m Not That Girl - Kerry Ellis

Meant to be Yours - Ryan McCartan

Ex Wives - Six

Euphoria - BTS

Walls - Cher

96,000 - In the Heights

Sun Goes Down - Lil Nas X

Enough For You - Olivia Rodrigo

Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

Ziti E Buoni - Maneskin

Shum - Go_A

Loco Loco - Hurricane

Space Ghost Coast to Coast - Glass Animals

The Horror and the Wild (whole album - The Amazing Devil

Chant - Hadestown

Titans - Major Lazer, Sia

Bones - Galantis

Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Le Nozze di Figaro - Hybrid

Save Your Tears - The Weeknd

Psycho - Post Malone

Gold Lion - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Close to Me - Ellie Goulding

And So It Went - The Pretty Reckless

help herself - bbno$

Fire For You - Cannons

Twist the Knife - Chromatics

He Said She Said - Chvrches

Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Campus - Vampire Weekend

Your Power - Billie Eilish

Reach - Eternal Eclipse

1 Last Cigarette - The Band Camino

Insertion - Hans Zimmer

from the edge - fictionjunction

The Devil Is a Gentleman - Merci Raines

Meet Me In The Woods - Amarante

Fire - Saint Mesa

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

Appetite - Casey Edwards

All Things Devour - aeseaes

Throne - Saint Mesa

Witchcraft - Vian Izak

June

The Shrine / An Argument - Fleet Foxes

It’s Tricky - Run

Darjeeling - Barrie

Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings - Father John Misty

Picture Me Better - Weyes Blood

Loch Lomond - Mackenzi Tolk

Punta - Matzzy

Touch It Clean - DJ Raulito

Oh No - Kreepa

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - Marina

Sofia - Askjell

The Boy - Shannon & the Clams

First Steps - Lena Raine

The Power of Balance Rearranged - Rush Garcia

And So My Heart Became a Void - Ursine Vulpine

Paper Mache - Iris Lune

Catch Me If You Can - Desert Belle

Darkroom Double - Moon & Pollution

Serotonin - girl in red

In the Air Tonight - Natalie Taylor

When Your Heart Is a Stranger - Friends In Paris

Moon Effect - Sailor Moon Eternal OST

In A Black Out - Hamilton Leithauser

Forever - CHVRCHES

Way Less Sad - AJR

Helter Skelter - Detention

The Devil You Know - X Ambassadors

TVA - Natalie Holt

Honeybee-The Head and the Heart

Home All Summer - Anthony Ramos

In the Shadows - Amy Stroup

My Way - Lucifer Cast

In the Air Tonight - Jon Howard

The Beast - Old Caltone

The Beast - Delta Rae

Freak Like Me - Adina Howard

Only the Good Die Young - Billy Joel

Winds of Change - Scorpions

good 4 u - Olivia Rodrigo

If I Could See The World - Patsy Cline

Ends of the Earth - Lord Huron 

The Killing Kind - Marianas Trench

Bones - Wens

Kiss Me More - Doja Cat

How Not to Drown - CHVRCHES

July

Dark Moon - Bonnie Guitar

Free Smiles - Tia Ray

Sundown Blues - Joanna Levine

Citta Vuoto - Mina

If You Love Me - Brenda Lee

Very Full - Tom Hiddleston

Loki Green Theme - Natalie Holt

Wrecked - Imagine Dragons

The Wolves - Cyrus Reynolds

Cure For Me - Aurora

Theory of Light - Eternal Eclipse

Fate of the Clockmaker - Eternal Eclipse

Potential Breakup Son - Aly and AJ

transparent soul - travis barker

My Love Will Never DSie - AG, Claire Wyndham

Happy Together - King Princess

Atomise - Temple

Darkside - Oshins

Someone to Watch Over Me - Lucifer Cast

This is Ours - Peter Sivo

Love and War - Fleurie

Take Me To Church - MILCK

Devil I Know - Allie X

East of Eden - Zella Day

Shadow Preachers - Zella Day

Losing My Religion - BELLSAINT

Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley

Dark Side - Blind Channel

Tanz Mit Mir - Faun

My Jolly Sailor Bold - Ashley Serena

Stuttering - Fefe Dobson

August

Monsters and Fairies - Savannah

Chosen - SVRCINA

IAN HA 3BYK - GO A

Freya - Verdandi

Sick on Seventh Strett - Sarah and the Safe Word

Tarah - Sae Sae Norris

Suspicion - Sherwood Roberts

Fjorgyn - Osi and the Jupiter

Fight to Make It Up - Takenobu

The Edge of Dawn - Rozen

Innocence - Cannon Diviision

A Stray Child - .Hack//Sign

The Kiss - Luigi Rubino

Any Kind of Dead Person - Ghost Quartet

The Great Unknown - Dominique Gilbert

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

over the rainbow - misterwives

Fireflies - Cullen Vance

My mother Told Me - Nati Dreddd

Athetosis - Crywolf

Major Tom - Shiny Toy Guns

Novacaine - 10 Years

Right Here Right Now - Jesus Jones

NDA - Billie Eilish

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

Completing the Circle - Gareth Coker

There’ll Always Be Another Monster - Brian D’Oliveira

POSTED FIC

May

take my hand and i'll drown you with me | Star Wars | Rey & Ben Solo | 2,157 words |  “You brought this upon yourself,” the creature told her, its voice serene.

June

keeping me restless and whole | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 1,584 words | Mobius was very young when he encountered his first Loki.

July

feed me lies until i'm dead | Loki | Thor/Loki | 3,476 words | “Don’t you think we should talk about it?” Thor asks.

the ghost of us can linger here | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 4,432 words | “So, how do you crazy kids want to do this?” Mobius asks them in a stage whisper, mouth twitching. At her back, Loki laughs, burying the sound against the curve of her neck.

there's a whisper in my bones | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,794 words |  “All right,” she says. “Fine. Let’s make things more interesting. Take off your clothes.”

east of eden | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,202 words |  “How long have you been fucking him?”  Mobius asks, stroking his fingers against the place where leather meets skin.

Triptych in C Minor | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1,647 words | Pt 1 | There is a house at the end of time, past the last storm, pushed up against the very edge of the unknown. It is a castle, a manor, a fortress - all depending on who inhabits it. But one thing that it never is, is a home.

August

N/A

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

May

2k of Reylo mermay fic

June

N/A

July

1k+ of Xue Yang being a slut for Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen

300 words of vampire Song Lan

7k of Green Knight AU

August

10k of Green Knight AU

1.5k of hair dye shenanigans

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

May

yearning: a playlist for the heart

June

the chosen and the beautiful: a mix for jordan baker

July 

kings & queens of the ruckus: a mix for loki and sylvie

August

N/A

[aethuviel]

The Politically Correct Jedi

So here will be my thoughts on The Last Jedi. Spoilers galore!

1. Porgs, Luke milking the sea-sow, Leia's Mary Poppins-moment... common complaints, but I actually liked all of these. I loathed the porgs months ago for being so unoriginal (bring back Terryll Whitlatch), but they were cute and fine with me. Unlike some, I realize Star Wars is a family film and has always had something made to pander to ten-year olds (Ewoks, Jar Jar, even Darth Maul).

The Luke-milking-that-thing-scene and going fishing... I just don't understand the problem with, it's just a detail you either like or don't like, not some huge character or story problem, and I really liked seeing his "off-grid" life (being a big fan of such things myself, and hopefully going to move to Kerry, Ireland, just where his island is located).

Leia surviving space by Force-flying was perfectly fine with me. It may have looked a bit silly, and she should never have survived contact with the vacuum of space, but Star Wars has never been about hard sci-fi anyway, and at least they put SOME of her Force talent in there.

2. The donkey-dogs (fathier is the in-universe name). That was some cool creature design to me, I really liked them, if not what they did with them (more below).

I WANT ONE

3. I loved Luke’s island. So sick of the desert planets (Jakku was just discount Tatooine), I'm very glad they didn't simply stick Luke on Dagobah, but gave us a fresh habitat.

4. It is a fairly okay, enjoyable movie, to see once or twice in the theater, especially if you're not a SW nerd and don't care either way what happens in the story or with the characters. Cheaply written and quickly forgotten, like a quick flick for one night, but it was enjoyable.

A common complaint is also the "these rich people are selling arms to both sides". I actually liked that when watching the movie, because that's something most people today still don't know, let alone that it has been going on for a very long time, and I don't think it's "forced preaching" like some other stuff (more below), but rather takes the film out of the "simple action" some prequel-bashers seem to want.

(Prequel bashers hate the prequels because it was "so political", but really it wasn't. It just explained the backstage of war, which is what goes on between leaders, politicians and bureaucrats, rather than simply battlefield action. THIS film was truly political with subjective political messages, and more on that below.)

And now for the less nice things. I will be talking about the trilogy overall too, so things from TFA will be mentioned.

1. The complete betrayal of character and story. Rule number one for a writer is that you A) Give your readers (or viewers) promises, and then B) You fulfill those promises. The Last Jedi did not do this in any way.

Snoke was dangled in front of us with huge excitement. "Who is this? Who is he? Where is he from? Oooh, we can't wait to see all your fan theories!" and two years later "Aha! He's NOBODY and this guy who we built up as the biggest badass, more terrible and powerful than Darth Sidious, gets taken out completely predictably in the lamest fashion possible!"

Rey, as well, was dangled in front of us like "She's the most special girl ever, everyone knows she's SO special, her parents and origin is SUCH a mystery, and we can't wait to show it to you!" Two years later "...AAAND she's a nobody." Like blowing up a balloon and pricking it with a needle, complete with fart sounds as it flies across the room.

2. I couldn't give a crap about (most of) the new characters. Rey is a total Mary Sue. I could develop this further but this would turn into a huge essay if I did. Finn at least has some SLIGHT personality, but he seems to be mostly there for diversity points, and goes off on a completely pointless sidequest in this film.

Rose... need I say more. A chubby Asian chick with absolutely no personality, who falls in love with a guy she’s only known 48 hours (or less), and stops him from doing his one brave and character-saving act (since he’s mostly been a coward inserted for PC:ness and cheap jokes), by crashing into his speeder. Why is this girl in the military, if she can’t stand seeing a guy she just met sacrifice himself for the ENTIRE CAUSE? She would rather see the entire Resistance die, than letting Finn go ahead and sacrifice himself. That is not cute or romantic, it is unforgivably stupid, and if I were Finn, I would be furious.

Poe is a discount hot-headed flyboy, because apparently we simply need one in each trilogy. I wanted to like him, but nope. I simply don’t care about any of them, except...

Kylo. Maybe I’m just a sucker for Skywalkers, no matter who they are (because Star Wars, in Lucas’ vision and that’s in the end what matters to me, is a family drama, and it’s about the life and legacy of Anakin Skywalker - my favorite character in any fiction ever, especially Hayden Anakin - his children, and in George’s own words, his grandchildren, in plural), but Kylo is also the deepest and most layered character in this trilogy. Not that it says a lot.

We knew from The Phantom Menace, immediately Anakin’s story and why he was troubled and split inside. We understood (if we were paying attention and didn’t just want *swoosh*bang*slash*) Anakin’s conflict in Ep2, whether we liked him or not. Kylo... just became evil? As a teenager? For no reason whatsoever?

We just know “there’s too much Vader in him”. Anakin became Vader for very specific reasons. He sold his soul to the devil to save someone he loved, and then killed that devil to save someone else that he loved. Anakin was self-centered (he cared about his immediate interests, such as his family, more than the galaxy or the big picture), Anakin was all heart, he was not “just evul”. If they’re saying Kylo “just went bad” because he’s like his grandfather, that... makes no sense whatsoever. Anakin was a very sweet child and a rebellious teenager, but not evil.

Kylo is also very twisted and "torn apart" as he says himself, he wants to be a great darksider but he can't be (neither could Vader, because he always had that light inside him), and that's why he's the "most character" of the characters in the new trilogy, but we have no idea why.

Leia says she lost him when she sent him to Luke. Fair enough, maybe he was (like Anakin) a mommy’s boy who couldn’t stand being sent away and got resentful over it, but that doesn’t explain why he got a dark side, AND:

Luke. Like many others have explained much better than I realized at the time, WHY IN THE GALAXY WOULD LUKE WANT TO KILL KYLO?

The Luke we know from the original trilogy risked his life, risked everything to save Vader. He looked at the most dangerous man in the galaxy, a dedicated SIth lord of 23 years, a man who had killed thousands of people by his own hand without a second thought (no, he did not destroy planets, that was Tarkin and co:), and Luke saw a man that could be redeemed. Vader killed Obi-Wan right in front of Luke, he tortured and froze Han to taunt Luke, and still, when Luke found out who Vader was, he was sure he could save him.

Because that’s the bright light and incurable optimist (and with a near-pathological love and loyalty of family) Luke was established as, over the course of three movies. Now, as a Jedi master perhaps some ten years before TLJ, Luke simply “suspected” that Kylo, his nephew, a child and the very beloved son of his very beloved sister Leia, “might” be getting evil.  And he immediately decides to kill this child, sleeping in his bed.

Granted, he changes his mind, but can you blame Kylo for basically thinking Luke is the devil? This is a complete betrayal of character, and not the Luke we got to know before.

People change, but fictional characters are bound by rules real people are not (or rather, their authors are), and if something this massive happens, the audience will be very disappointed and alienated, unless it has a REALLY REALLY good reason. It doesn't. They just needed it for story purposes, because they were lazy, cheap writers.

3. The animatronics. This was something I distinctly remember from watching TFA in theaters two years ago as well, and I felt it even more this time. It's like they're actively TRYING to make the "muh practical effects" seem like 1983 all over again.

We CAN make absolutely amazing animatronics today, but this was not it. It looked very old and backwards. Unlike many butthurt prequel-haters, I don't give a PIECE OF FECES if it's CG or "practical effects", I just want to be tricked into believing it's real. Bad CG stands out like a sore thumb, and bad animatronics... stand out like a sore thumb.

From baby porgs to Force ghost Yoda, a lot of it looked painfully 1980s. (Though I will say, not all of it was. I believe the fathier in the stable was an animatronic, and THAT was impressive and what I mean by "being tricked into believing it's real".)

4. Social Justice Wars: A Star Wars Story

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I don't know where to begin with you, so just ignore this point. I assume you understand exactly what I'm talking about. But basically, as the video below explains a lot better: Every white man in the story is an idiot, maniac or space-nazi, except for Luke (and he tries to kill his own nephew and student in his bed). And all space-nazis are white men, except for Phasma (so much for "diversity"). The top space-nazi, Hux, is a complete, raging idiot. Kylo and Hux bicker and yell at each other like children in a sandbox.

"The trio" in this film, since Rey is now with Luke, is a black guy, a latino guy, and a chubby Asian girl. I wouldn't care about this at all if it didn't feel forced. But it does. It's PAINFULLY obvious what they're doing. And of course, every single man in the film does something stupid or cruel, while the women are basically perfect and never make mistakes or do anything bad.

I was told before I saw the film that there was some animal rights propaganda in it. I saw it, and thought meh, it's not that bad. And it isn't, but it's still a political message that simply does not belong in a film like this (again, explained better in the video below).

Basically, Chewie, ever the huge meat-lover (remember him accidentally trapping himself and everyone else when he ran after a carcass like a drooling dog in ROTJ?), decides to not eat that porg he's cooking over the fire because the living porgs are SO CUTE.

Evil rich people beat and abuse animals for money and fun. I do hope this isn't meant as a prod against real life horse racing, because there are very strict rules on how much you can use the whip, and violent riders will be disqualified. I could understand if they aim it at the fact that in general, some sports still exist where we torment animals with electric prods (like some rodeos), but even that has no place in a film like this.

And Rose then letting the fathiers loose, saying "now it was worth it", because they were free, nevermind everything else they did that day and what they came there for. Bleh.

5. Destroying characters.

If I hadn't ranted about Luke enough already, I'll do so now. Namely his end. When watching it, I didn't understand at all what happened. His robes fell? I recognized this as what happened with OB1 and Yoda when they had died and passed into becoming one with the Force, but I did not realize at all Luke was dead.

When Leia and one of the other characters said "Luke is gone", I was like "wait what?" I had to go home and check Wookieepedia to get it confirmed.

Here you have one of the biggest characters in cinema EVER, and they take him out like that. Force-projecting himself onto another planet, then dying from exhaustion. If that Force-projection was meant to save him, that clearly didn't work. Luke was not just completely betrayed by the writers and turned into a completely different character, he was also wasted utterly.

I know not everyone can get everything they want in new movies, and it's 100% impossible to please a Star Wars fan, let alone many fans. I get that.

But Luke was now in his fifties, and had had thirty+ years to train since we last saw him. He was already really powerful by the end of ROTJ, he was the son of the Chosen One, should have a crazy high Force power in him (or midi-chlorian count, which I don't mind at all).

And since unlike his father, he was never severely mutilated, and he lived a much longer life as a Jedi, he should be CRAZY powerful by now. At least Yoda level. We should have gotten some really amazing Force battles (like Yoda vs Sidious, but much more still) between Luke and Kylo, Luke or Snoke, or just anything.

Which brings me to... the Knights of Ren. They were mentioned (and seen briefly, in Rey's vision) in TFA. And it is to be assumed they were Luke's former students who followed Kylo. Why were they not seen? Why was there not a single true lightsaber duel in this film? (AND HOW IN THE FLYING FUCK COULD REY AND KYLO BEAT ALL THOSE GUARDS? They cut through them like butter.)

Kylo is supposed to be "Master of the Knights of Ren", but we're 2/3rds into the trilogy, and he seems to be in a vacuum, just a lonely frightened boy disciplined by No-character Snoke when he isn’t yelling at Hux. Where are his knights?

6. Betraying Lucas

Kathleen Kennedy promised to honor Lucas' wishes and use his story treatment. Kathleen Kennedy lied, wiped her ass with his story, and threw it in the garbage in favor of "The Force is Female!" and the almighty $$$.

Lucas has spoken for decades on how the next trilogy (which he asked Mark Hamill if he would be interested in filming, back in 1976, supposed to be filmed in 2011!), would be about "Darth Vader's grandchildren". Emphasis on children, in plural. And he wanted the characters (the respective kids of Luke and Leia) to be teenagers.

Fine, if Kennedyfilm thinks teenagers are too young and childish for their audience, make them older, but they didn't just do that. They threw his entire story and ideas in the toilet. Mark was completely alienated and disgusted by their decisions for Luke, which he has expressed at length (as well as his deep admiration and loyalty to Lucas, while he always does this in subtle ways, to not piss anyone off or get on the wrong foot with anyone).

In Legends, which was all Lucas-approved, Han and Leia had three children and Luke had one (then Han and Leia's youngest son died tragically, and even more tragically, the daughter ended up killing her other brother years later, but that's for another time).

I get if this is too many characters, or too many Skywalkers for Kennedyfilm (numerous characters in books are often squeezed into two or one in film, since instead of weeks, you only have a couple of hours to get to know all the characters), but they just gave us ONE Skywalker grandkid. Kylo, who's completely messed up and unlikely to carry this legacy on (and the Skywalker name is officially dead with Luke).

They teased us with Domhnall Gleeson, who looked like an obvious Ben Skywalker. They teased us with Rey, so similar to Padmé "there is no way they're not related", and tons of hints in TFA. But nope. Just Kylo. And thus ends the Skywalkers.

And no Skywalkers, no Star Wars.

[movienotesbyzawmer]

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

December 9: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

(previous notes: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace)

Source: Blu-ray release, the box set with all six Lucas-era movies (2D)

I feel like in recent years I've seen a lot of rhetoric claiming that this is the worst of all the Star Wars movies. But I've always felt like the prequels improve as they go, at least a little. Like, Hayden Christiensen might not be especially good, but he's an improvement on Jake Lloyd. Is there less of the childish stuff in this movie? Let's press play and find out.

Opening crawl is first mention of Count Dooku; seems like the previous stuff was resolved and a new story is beginning. Maybe that's why it's common for people to recommend skipping Episode I, like it's not actually necessary.

We also at this point in the natural chronology don't know anything about clones. Just the title here.

Another decoy-Amidala, but this one gets blowed up right away. And that's Rose Byrne, right?

0:07:30 - Obi-wan does a "oh… oh yes…. Mm mm mm mm mm mm" thing which is stupid and I don't like it.

Wait, no Rose Byrne is a silent handmaiden lady I guess. Unless they're clonesies. Are they clonesies?

Hey, a glimpse of Coruscant's colorful nightlife scene! Or at least some commercial advertisements. Feels like we don't see much of the lives of regular folk of Coruscant much.

Super pretty imagery of this city at night with its traffic and lights and I know I say that every time but it's great.

0:14:30 - Obi-wan shooting himself through a hole in the window in pursuit of that flying robot villain is exciting! And then he just hangs onto it, and then the sniper snipes him off it and he just falls and falls! This is a good action scene.

Then later, Anakin just jumps and falls and falls on purpose like and it's fun to watch.

0:20:00 - Does the sniper have a weird disguise that goes away when she turns her head? Is that what I saw?

"This weapon is your life" says Ewan McGregor doing his best impression of Alec Guinness. I think it was supposed to be funny. And I think it succeeds. Helps to remember that EG's natural accent is Scottish. And you know what? Maybe a little bit ago when I didn't like EG's hammy delivery, I should respect that he's embracing the need for him to embody a young version of Alec Guiness's character, figuring out what that would look like while honoring the director's vision.

They're in a nightclub, and I think there's some genuinely imaginative vision around what people are doing in there.

Ooh! The sniper got sniped by someone else, and the shot of that second sniper zipping away on a jetpack is I like it.

Senator Amidala gives Jar Jar the important job of substitute senator while she goes and hides. Yeah right. Not very credible.

Now Anakin is venting to Amidala in a way that shows how cocky he is. He does the flirtation stuff so that we'll think he's sexy like Han Solo, but also visibly flawed with impatience. Meh. Okay.

Whoa, Rose Byrne just did some acting! She spontaneously shed a tear in a way that looked authentic! Acting… in a Star Wars prequel!

0:31:50 - A greasy spoon diner! I don't remember this. Obi Wan is doing some intel gathering and George Lucas decided to go all in on having this be a 50's-style neon urban railcar slop counter!

The romance. Anakin and Amidala. GL is also going all in on the overtness of that plot. Maybe it's fine? Anakin seems like a horny and awkward teen with a huge crush on someone out of his league but he's going for it anyway. Maybe we'll be convinced that she'd succumb to his charms?

0:39:00 - We're back on Naboo… this scene is oddly non-CGI-looking. Did they film this in a real place with that actual architecture?

The tension they're setting up between Anakin and Amidala is moving in a direction of NOT growing fonder of each other. She looks irritated, and rightly so. This is a move that experienced romance plot makers make, but will GL pull it off?

Meanwhile Obi-Wan is doing spycraft, going to the clone planet place and pretending he's the one who ordered the whatever. "That's why I'm here!" Kinda funny.

0:44:45 - Okay, another A&A scene. He has that line about sand getting everywhere. She looks really damn fly. They kiss a bit and then she changes her mind. See, this is a weak link in the romance plot. We don't buy it. She's not such a sucker that she'd want to kiss him now. She didn't go, "oh he was so charming when he talked about where sand goes that now I'm not only less annoyed by his churlishness but I'm actually turned on". Or did she.

There's something about Obi-Wan's intel gathering, realizing that this huge army of clones is being put together, that's very James Bond-y. I mean that in a good way.

Naboo countryside is hella pretty.

Oh ick. A very very stupid romance scene just happened. See, Anakin fell off a blob creature and it looked like he was hurt! This worried Amidala! She ran to him but it turned out he was okay! They laughed and laughed at this merry misunderstanding and rolled around together! Oh merry! And…. SCENE.

Now Obi-Wan and Jango Fett are having a fight on a platform place and it's pretty exciting and still kind of like a Bond movie. Even more so because of "gadgets" like the devices on JF's outfit. And a dippy little "this is not good" comment from Obi-Wan that would fit in okay coming out of 007.

A&A go to Tatooine and talk to the salvage dealer who used to own Anakin. I like where that CGI character visibly starts to recognize the grown-up Anakin.

Obi-Wan followed JF & Son to a pretty red planet with an asteroid field and it's fucking beautiful and they do this wicked sound effect with bombs and it looks and sounds mother fucking amazing. Seriously god damn. The SOUND.

1:11:40 - They're at what will be the moisture farm of Luke, et al. "I'm Owen Lars and this is my GIRLFRIEND Beru." See, because this is BEFORE they're married. She's JUST his GIRLFRIEND.

1:14:20 - Okay, they just did a weird thing where A&A have an exchange, then hug. But the camera just shows their SHADOWS. And Anakin's shadow looks like he maybe kind of has some semblance of a VADER HELMET. I'm not even that convinced that that's what they were going for. If it actually conveyed that, it'd be cooler. As is, it's a little awkward. But I wouldn't discourage a director from going for this kind of thing.

Anakin found the Tusken Raider camp where they'd brought his mom and he found her just in time for her to die. Like she was just hanging on long enough for him to witness her death. Melodramatic. Then he goes and slaughters everyone… this turns out to be important because it's the catalyst for him turning dark, but it's sort of a weak explanation for something so important.

So HC just did a rage monologue about how he killed everyone, and okay it's not good, but I really don't think it's HC that isn't good. I think he did his very best with really dumb writing.

1:34:30 - Ooh, we're back in that neat senate hall. Jar Jar was suckered into proposing that Palpatine be given special powers, and it's super easy and it just works, and the Jedi are like "oh, hm, bummer". I'm just not impressed with the story.

A&A have arrived on Geonosis and it's quickly quite actiony and rather like a video game where they have to fight robots and hop on platforms at just the right time. I dig it.

It's a little odd now… so I already forgot how A&A got captured in the video game factory place, but they're quickly hustled to an execution arena to be munched to death by monsters before a delighted audience. With Obi-Wan. Just a little odd, but now it's pretty fun action.

Oh yeah, Mace Windu cut Jango Fett's right head off! Forgot that. Another case of an interesting villain ending disappointingly. Except that it's important because his "son" witnesses it and looks vengeance-y.

1:56:40 - Yoda heroically shows up to save the good guys with a force of soldiers that look kind of like Stormtroopers. Those are clones, right? I guess so, but the movie didn't quite ensure we know that. I mean, if they're going to treat the audience like children with their jokes, maybe they could extend that same expectation to plot explanations.

Okay, so now they're in a much bigger battle. I like the flying thing that delivers a walking tank thing! Lots of exciting things to look at. It's not that clear which side is which, not by looking at the battle, but maybe that doesn’t matter too much.

They shoot down a globe-shaped ship as it's taking off and it's pretty. So is lots of this battle stuff.

How does Anakin have a lightsaber now? His was broken earlier. I'm probably not the first to ask that. I probably overlooked the explanation. Seems like they trimmed stuff out of this part of the movie to improve the pacing.

2:07:50 - This is the part that worked well enough that it's probably the main factor in holding this movie's reputation above that of Episode I: the light saber duel with Yoda! Those of us who had played the Dark Forces PC games were already familiar with how it would look to see a Yoda-type wailing on someone with a light saber, but it was a pleasant surprise for many, and it definitely worked.

Then Dooku escapes on a ship that does a really sweet-looking panel-unfurling thing. Love it. And then he goes to Coruscant. Very visibly. Which is for me to love some more.

The movie ends right after that, with Yoda observing that it's dumb to think of this as a victory because now the Clone War has started. Then we get suitably disturbing imagery of the Clone Army being imposing with, significantly, the Imperial March in the background. It's okay. Then a shot of A&A getting hitched. With, a little less significantly, the new tragic-love theme in the background which John Williams was probably pretty pleased with. And over. Okay.

Yeah, better than Episode I. Less childish. Although it's harder to point to a climax, it somehow seems less anti-climactic than Ep1. No less impressive visually, but with new locales compared with the first one. And it's true that you can get all the information you need by starting here instead of with the first one.

(next: Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith)

[thepeterman]

quiet now,

you’ll miss it

It is hot.

And not just regular, oh sweet baby Jesus someone please find me an air conditioner stat hot, no. This was hell hath finally descended upon us, nothing you mere mortals could do will stop this fiery fury type hot. The kind of heat that eats you from the inside out, and slowly drills at your sanity.

So of course, logically, Rapunzel planted herself in her beanbag chair, grabbed a worryingly old bag of peas from the freezer, and fished her tiny fan from the attic. Which, she doesn't think, should be able to disgrace the names of good, fully functioning fans with it's blasphemes title.

She's three pages into her newest Spider-Man comic, and three inches drenched in sweat, when her window is opened.

In the past, Rapunzel has wondered if their admittedly flawed system would let undesirables into her bedroom while she least suspects it, but then she decided she'd take her chances. There is something about having Hiccup have his own way into her house that makes something pleasant settle in her stomach.

He whistles before stumbling his way in, tripping over gangly limbs and his natural nemesis. Air.

"I can't believe you've braved the outside. You sir, have earned a seat in the chair." She hums without looking up at him.

Hiccup chuckles dryly, like he wants to be annoyed but can't, and falls unceremoniously into her side, shifting so their bodies fit comfortably. Curling in on each other, as she offers him one side of her comic.

He smiles gently, reaching over and producing two absolutely stunning popsicles, one of the famed spider, and the other none other than SpongeBob himself. "I heard the truck. Figured you'd probably be slow roasting in the fortress." He has the decency to look bashful, as they both know he lives too far to have gotten these on his street. And from the steep rise and fall of his chest, Rapunzel can tell he rode his bike all this way.

Grinning softly, she leans up and kisses his cheek, shyly taking the extended popsicle. "I can't believe I thought this was gonna be a bad day."

---

It is art day, and Mother isn't taking this as serious as she should be. Rapunzel's been sitting on the steps, frowning at her stupid tie, and super cool Sailor Moon backpack for the past ten minutes, just waiting for her mom to finish her makeup.

"We're going to be late!" Rapunzel screams, knowing it will be useless. She thinks, perhaps, it is time for her to bring up the subject of the bus.

By the time she gets to school, Ms. Ellie just smiles gently at her Very Adamant excuse for being late, as Rapunzel thought it necessary to explain the note her mother left. Being ushered to her seat, she noticed a boy where there was not one, previous.

He had shaggy brown hair that fell over his face, as he leaned over the desk, concentrated on his drawing.

Which she should be, too. Right.

And as soon as she got lost in the sound of her crayon hitting the page, and losing herself in between now and her canvas, someone has to ruin it. Because, apparently, that is just the way Rapunzel's life works.

It's Snotlout, leaned over her desk, his eyebrows creased at her picture. She feels a kind of self consciousness spike through her veins, that's never existed in the same space as her art. The very same feeling she gets when she works up the courage to look in a mirror.

"Stars don't do that, you dummy." His mouth twists, a cruel happy little thing, that kind of makes Rapunzel's blood boil.

She doesn't think she's anything like him. The kind of kid that gets mad over the small things, but she is just six, after all.

"They aren't stars, duh!" She answers back, defensive, trying for the same meanness in his tone, but doesn't quite manage it.

"Oh yeah, what are they then?"

And she's stuck, staring at her picture. An open field, with her and the lights. The ones that fill her dreams, and float in her imagination. Rapunzel thinks about them so much, that sometimes she wonders if maybe she could touch them. She knows they aren't stars, she's seen them on Tv and read about them in books, she just isn't sure what exactly they're called, either.

He huffs, triumphant, "See-"

"Lanterns." A quiet voice from behind them speaks up, squeaky and shy.

She whips around to face the boy she was staring at earlier, this time face to face with his deep green eyes. He has freckles and a scratch and he reminds her of the forest and open skies.

"What?" Snotlout demands, since his default setting is annoyed.

"They're called lanterns. Everybody knows they aren't stars." He talking to Snotlout, but keeps glancing to her every time his voice wanes. Speaking a little louder when she smiles at him.

Snotlout looks thoroughly downsized, marching back to his seat without another word. The gratefulness bursting of her chest is a little hard to contain, Rapunzel wonders if this is what those locked up princesses feel.

With a glance to Ms. Ellie, she turns fully in her chair, folding her arms on his desk. "Thanks! I'm Rapunzel, by the way." She says brightly, reaching over to shake his hand.

"Hiccup." He responds, timidly taking her hand.

"What an odd name for a Knight."

---

"I just don't see the point of it." Hiccup whines, even as he's lacing up his boots. He looks out to the ice so anxiously, that Rapunzel has to bite back a smile.

"It's fun, Hicceroni. That's all the reason we need."

Winter break is probably the best thing to happen to Rapunzel this year. High school has been exhausting on the both of them, as a result, she rarely sees her best friend anymore. With a week full of nothing but free time and endless possibility, they spent their time wisely. Playing video games in his room, and catching up on shows they've vowed to only complete together (may they be spared by the All Powerful Cancel gods).

But as they were flicking through channels, and Rapunzel hovered the kids networks, they came across Ice Princess.

"Please don't."

Rapunzel chooses to ignore her clueless best friend. Who has no concept of taste, all of a sudden if he can't appreciate this piece of cinematic brilliance.

"Ice skating. Who even does that?" He grumbles. She supposes they're over looking the twenty minutes he has engrossed himself into the movie.

"Um lots of people? Figure skaters? Everyone?"

"Not everyone."

Rapunzel feels like she's been punched in the gut. "Please tell me I am hearing this wrong, Hicmister. Tell me you've been ice skating."

"Um?"

And here they are. At the Winter festival as children scream and giggle on the ice, and couples get cuddly in the cold and that one guy shows off years of forced childhood lessons.

Hiccup watches them all with a pout. It's adorable.

"Alrighty. Class' in session, kids. Lets get out there."

Rapunzel tugs at his hand, as he stays firmly planted on the seat, "I'm going to embarrass myself."

"Nobody is going to be paying attention to you. It'll be just you and me out there," he doesn't look the least bit swayed, "And you embarrass yourself in front of me all the time." That, at least, gets an amused eye roll and resigned sigh. 

"Atta boy."

The next hour is spent crashing into random people, a few dozen butt tumbles, and snowflakes falling in eyelashes.

Rapunzel grips Hiccup's hands, effortlessly skating backward, giggling at the horror stricken face Hiccup makes every time he so much as stumbles. "I think you're getting the hang out it." She grins up at him.

Hiccup laughs, disbelief all over his face, "You know, I think I am!"

"Alright, I'm gonna let go..."

"Rapunzel, don't!"

He yanks on her hands, somehow pushing them both to the ground as they lose their balance. It's a mess of limbs and awkward head butts, as Hiccup falls forward directly in her lap. His hands are on the ice, head on her collarbones. Rapunzel instinctively wraps her around around his middle, butt surely bruised.

It's silent for a moment, and then they meet eyes, bursting out in laughter, leaning on each other for support.

"So...hot chocolate?" She suggests.

"You're paying."

---

"-it's all about gravity!" Hiccup excitedly explains, gesturing wildly with his hands as they walk down the street.

Rapunzel sips her Capri sun saved from lunch, listening intently. She doesn't have much to add, but it seems cool. "You're such a dork." She laughs, anticipating his indignant squawk. "What do we need to build it?"

Hiccup closes his mouth, cutting off what was going to be another tirade, surprise coloring his features. She wonders how many people have told him his ideas are cool. She wonders if maybe she's the first.

His gentle smile warms her heart in a way the summer sun was never able to.

---

"Now tell me that's not an engaging character! Emotional turmoil, heart in two places. As he has to choose over his wife--the only family he has left, and his best friend. The person who raised him! Sure, maybe his Fall could have been better handled, but movies have limited time. And if you're telling me Obi-Wan and Anakin's fight isn't the best thing you've ever seen you're lying-"

"On your right." Rapunzel hums, watching the screen where she knew Hiccup wasn't.

"Thanks. What was I saying?"

"Mustafar."

"Oh right. The music alone-"

---

"Please tell me I am not seeing what I think I'm seeing." Rapunzel groans, leaning back on Hiccup's door.

He feigns a remorseful look that is just for her sanity, as he pets the midnight black, one way ticket out of the dorms. The dog, cruel little cute thing, turns it's huge green eyes on her.

Disgusting.

"I couldn't just leave him, Punz."

Dumbfounded, Rapunzel gestures to the tiny messy living space, and second bed shoved in the corner. "Well I don't know if you've noticed, bud, but you can't just keep him, either."

"I've been thinking about that. Jack's not gonna tell, probably. And even if I get caught, Rider's pretty cool, he hardly ever deals out maximum punishments. Besides, I've got you." He lays it on thick, there at the end. Giving her his best puppy dog eyes, which somehow haven't lost power with the scruff and angled jaw.

Going for the gut, Rapunzel respectfully commends him. Solid A, manipulating skills.

In the end, Rapunzel was going to say yes as soon as she stepped through the door. She is helpless against double puppy eyes, and with an actual puppy.

"What's his name?" She sighs, trying hard not to sound as defeated as she feels.

By Hiccup's grin, she failed. Miserably. "Toothless."

"That's it. We're finding him a new home, you are clearly unfit."

---

"So, you see any ladies ya diggin'?"

Hiccup looks up from his book, eyebrow quirked. "Alright Kenickie, here in modern society we speak people talk."

Rapunzel rolls her eyes and drops into the seat beside him, laying her entire body against his. "Prom is coming up."

He snorts, tucking his hand behind her head, and absently playing with her hair. "This explains your weird caveman talk how...?"

"Hiccup! Neither of us have dates, and as a connoisseur of popular media, this is the biggest travesty to ever descend upon our adolescent lives!"

"Will we ever recover?"

"No! We will forever be doomed to our stag prom statuses."

"Is this a reversible curse or...?"

"Hiccup! You're not seeing the serious business levels of our situation!" Rapunzel frowns, leaning forward to look him in the eyes.

He sighs, kissing her forehead, Rapunzel immediately slacks back into him, and calms.

"I kind of just always assumed we were going together. I was even planning on asking you this weekend."

That--she forgets how to breathe--is not something she knew. With the way he talks about Astrid, Rapunzel thought Hiccup was asking her. Half the school thought they were dating, and he'd take this opportunity to prove them wrong.

(And maybe, sometimes. Sometimes she thought that too, in the quiet comfortable moments, and only in the privacy of her own brain. She thought, maybe.)

There's a thousand things she can say, but doesn't. Because most of them don't actually have words, "What were you planning on doing?" She can feel her heartbeat in her fingertips.

"I was thinking on winning the high scores in Space Invaders and spelling it out." He says a little helplessly, shrugging like he hadn't put much thought into it. "Thought we could get ice cream and color coordinate."

It was such a Hiccup thing to do. It was such a painfully them thing to do, that Rapunzel has to fight off hysterical tears.

"Well don't let me stop you, Hiccster." She answers after a moment, snuggling into his side, as he smiles and resumes his book.

---

Rapunzel tunes out Toothless as he barks at their fireplace--his favorite thing to do (they have a working theory that he was a dragon in a previous life). Instead she concentrates on getting the daisies to sit right in Hiccup's hair.

He plays with the strings of his hoodie, conveniently on her body, as he mouths along to Clueless. It is just starting to get cold, and since they started middle school they've watched Clueless in the beginning of the the school year. Even after school stopped being a thing for them.

It's comfortable and quiet and Rapunzel lets her mind wonder. Somewhere between the Cher and Josh couch scene and her finally finishing the crown, Rapunzel has a realization.

"We're totally dating aren't we?"

Hiccup is pulled out of the movie, lifting his head from her lap, and watching with that calculating gaze of his. "Do you wanna stop?" It's asked as calmly as ever, but she hears the panic in his voice.

Urging his head back down, she settles her fingertips behind his ears, and smiles down at him. "And break up a ten year whirlwind romance? Are you kidding me?"

He smiles this brilliant, blinding smile and angles up to press his slightly chapped lips to hers, and something clicks into place. ______________

a very quick hiccunzel thing written in the wee hours of the morning, that’s actually just between this bigger project I’m steadily working on.  

(that’s right boys and girls. a very long hiccunzel thing that i don’t actually know if anyone is gonna read?? if you are could you maybe tell me?)