#just want to put some context to why i titled this fic as that

[sinfulsachi]

Hiiii. How about some thigh fucking? It's knows that Shinichi loves Ran's legs, so it has got to happen. He can't stop staring and Ran shouldn't really feel this hot and bothered about the way he looks at her but she does. The make-out sessions are no longer enough now, they need more, so they go for it.

The timestamp of this ask is April 10, 2021 I am laughing as I type this. Please anon appreciate me, I tried after 3.5 years HAHAHA Couldn't get this request out of my head from the moment it entered my inbox three (3) years ago lmao. I labeled this post as mature, for obvious reasons :)

 絶対領域 || Absolute Territory (ShinRan)

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Kudou Shinichi has a tendency of blaming the universe for things beyond his control.

It only happens rarely, for Kudou Shinichi doesn’t bow down to fate, fate bows down to Kudou Shinichi. He’ll carve a solution against all odds. How many times has he cheated death?

But at this very moment, he is resigned to the thought that the universe is to blame for everything that led to here.

He blames the universe for having been born Japanese, lived in the same neighborhood, entered the same kindergarten as this girl turned girlfriend a good twelve years later.

He blames the universe for the abnormal surge of cases in Tokyo that consequently robs the girlfriend’s father’s time in the apartment, leaving him and her alone ‘til sunset.

Blames the universe for spring, because flowy skirts.

Blames the universe for summer for limiting her wardrobe choice to nothing but shorts, shorts, and short shorts.

Blames the universe for autumn, because thigh-high stockings.

Blames the universe or whoever created it for creating teenage hormones so rebellious, so perilously out of his control especially when he gets so much a peek of her skin. Just skin, the fuck. How else if more than that.

All these and more run in his mind while the girlfriend nestles between his legs doing homework under the kotatsu.

Naturally, he blames the universe for this moment.

Winter is a bitch, sweaters and heater aren’t enough. Mouri Ran suggests huddling. Now he levels with her nape, long hair conveniently let on one side. She scribbles notes with no care in the world while he inwardly chants a prayer. This is it. This is his demise.

He blames the universe for the aching hard-on in his pants.

But he is Kudou Shinichi, and while he’ll flip the universe off, he'll make absolutely sure to do something about the situation he’s presented. Else, he dies.

There are many ways to deal with this without hurting anybody’s feelings. He can excuse himself and let the rage subside in the toilet. He can request they sit side by side instead. He can offer to get them a takeout snack from Poirot. Literally those ways.

But not pull her closer by the waist.

He really isn’t helping himself. It’s dumb, but at the same time it seems it’s all he can manage to do. He clears his throat, a harmless statement whispered in her ear, “Ran, can we please, uh. Take a break.”

Amidst the impatient rush of blood southwards, he maintains a safe distance, not too close she could hear the erratic beating in his chest, and not too far that when her head swivels sideways their noses brush. Distance still matters to him, lest this - whatever he's doing - startles her.

“Hm? But we just took one fifteen minutes ago.”

Ran catches Shinichi’s eyes drift to the direction of the bed and back. She can't read if that gesture intentionally hints on something, or just a slip of his guilty thoughts. His eyes are so near she catches the details of his blues, blended with a certain kind of struggle.

Her body becomes aware of a bulge against her lower back. Ran's pulse kicks up a step.

“Let’s keep warm over there, please,” Shinichi requests, a hint of mild desperation in his tone.

When it takes her a while to reply, he notices his mistake. So much for devising ways to deal with hormones without offending anyone's feelings. With his last sane braincell, he wills himself to scoot further back, "No worries if you don't wanna! Though I k-kinda need to lie down a bit, Ran, haha, so—"

The disentanglement is halted when she holds his arms firm around her waist. Ran refuses to budge under the kotatsu. Instead, she clings onto the cuffs of his sleeve, startling him.

"Shinichi, um. But we're already quite comfortable here, don't you think?"

Like hell it is. Shinichi needs to break away. He can already sense himself growing by the second, exponentially so with the way she tilts her chin to face him fully, something he hasn’t seen before dancing in her eyes. Half mast, dilated, cozy and— and almost bedroomy.

What! Is she doing!

Shinichi's hands slide down her hips involuntarily. They stay in the kotatsu, plane of her back resting against his pecs through the hoodie. Everything is dangerously still. He gives her hips a light squeeze, she doesn't protest. He inches close, she presses near. "The hell, Ran..." He skims the line of her shoulder with his lips.

What! Is he doing!

He's acting on pure impulse now, the set of sane braincells in his head overpowered by the braincells of another one. A total defeat. God he's such a man.

And it maddens him so because not one bit does Ran seem to mind, whispering a light ‘should be fine here, right?’ when they're eye to eye. Shinichi nods in complete obedience. He swallows his nerves away, then closes the distance between their lips in one swift motion.

Inside his brain, the little Shinichi with pitchforks rejoices.

Perhaps the liplock is too earnest that a few minutes in, Ran finds her hips moving on its own, attention brought once more to the press of that bulge against her back. They part only for Ran to surge in again, denying them a moment to breathe.

Her hand creeps up behind, feeling the stiffness. She squeezes lightly. Shinichi groans in her mouth. No words are said, yet they seem to understand exactly what the other wants to do. She tugs on the garter of his joggers. His hands travel down her skirt, up her thigh. Shinichi loses his mind.

I'm going to hell, he thinks, as he finds his fingers trailing to the most heated part of her body. This isn't the first time. That's why he desires to get away at the earliest opportunity the moment he feels about to succumb to the universe's temptations, certain the day will end with his fingers buried in her, and she gasping in his arms. Exactly right now. Him stroking her above cotton, before slipping past it and slowly sliding in.

It frustrates him to feel this good hearing her moan his name, and it's only ever third base.

Only ever third base.

Shinichi blames the universe that he isn't yet married to Mouri Ran. Dear god, how the universe knows he's dying to fu—

He freezes at the cold touch of her hand slinking inside his boxers. Something inside him stirred. This is a first time. His fingers pause, his breath gets heavy. Ran breaks the kiss to look him in the eye, panting as she pulls his garments further down, "let's do it?"

Fuck.

Surprisingly, it's Shinichi who comes to senses first. "Do what exactly?", genuine inquiry seemingly asked in jest following a heated french in response to her straightforward request. Though clearly aware of what she’s insinuating, he needs to be absolutely certain of what stage they are about to do. Instead of giving verbal confirmation however, Ran doesn't stop stroking him, and Shinichi feels himself about to short circuit, making it worse when she adjusts the way she's seated to give her hand - and his fingers - more working space.

They are about to do it under the kotatsu.

Shinichi should be thanking the heavens right now, yet a part of him screams to save the end for a later time when they're older, readier. The sane side of him awakens, like a dying star in its last bursts of energy before imploding in on itself, just enough seconds to remind himself that he intends to take this step by step. There must be a way they can do it without doing it.

Hoisting Ran by the waist, Shinichi deposits her body slightly below his torso and leans back a bit. "Maybe we can..." The slight shift in position allows Ran to perch snug above him, legs between his outstretched ones. "Like this."

Ran appears reluctant to let go of her grasp, but in the new adjustment, she feels him against the underside of her thighs, rock hard. It only occurs to her what she just requested, and she flushes, suddenly hyperaware of the wild drumbeat inside her chest, the zero personal space. Her skin sensitive to the squeeze of his hand on her hip underneath her hoodie. His twitch beneath when his other hand finds purchase on the area between her skirt and overknee socks and begs her to 'open up a bit' and he groans her name, "Ran."

Dazed, Ran creates an opening. Shinichi slides himself in. Ran tightens the grip of her thighs. Shinichi moves.

It's like all the air is robbed out of his lungs.

How does he describe this sensation? He feels like a present, she the wrapper. "Been wondering 'bout this for a long time," is what he doesn't say aloud, as he looks over at the way her knees linked close, her upper thighs clamp. There is something sacred in the place where he enters her, an absolute territory he's actually been waiting to explore beyond sight. He's only ever stared in loaded silence, when she walks ahead, or climbs the stairs, or gets a book atop the shelf on tiptoes and skirt hiking up. Thoughts spurring in his subconscious going, what does it feel like to be trapped in there.

Unbeknownst to Shinichi, it's the singular best place to ever be. An absolutely fucking addicting territory to be in.

Ran squirms in place, unable to stray her eyes away from the rise and fall happening beneath her skirt. She needs to confirm that this strange hot activity with Shinichi is real. With shaky hands she lifts the hem of her skirt up and sees him. Wet on the tip. Protruding then disappearing. Rhythm synchronizing with the labored breath by her nape.

Overwhelmed by the budding heat in that area they create friction, she begins rolling her hips, matching his timing.

They are doing it under the kotatsu.

It drives Shinichi crazier when Ran requests to rise up to a kneeling position, her palms flat on the tabletop. They stay connected below, allowing him a more comfortable grip, a more open view of him thrusting between her thighs. Ran tips her head back and breathes the cutest moan when he picks up the pace. If he closes his eyes, he may actually believe they're doing it from behind, the sensation perhaps nearly tantamount to fucking her. And he might really seriously get to fuck her. Except that what they're doing now is already so damn hot neither wants to stop.

"Ah. You're—" something wet oozes slowly over him as he continues sliding in and out her thighs. Understanding what it is and what it means for his girlfriend is about enough to give him a heart attack. His hands enclose hers atop the kotatsu, sheathing and unsheathing faster, beads of sweat trickling down his forehead as he croaks out, "fucking warm, Ran".

He hasn't hung out in her room intending to do anything of this sort with Ran. It's just suddenly happened. And now he's afraid that once he finishes, he'll end up wanting more. The heat in him builds up, ever concentrated at the nerve ends of his shaft, desperately looking for where he can possibly do the unloading in the most respectful way. On the table. The fabric of her skirt. Her socks. Her thighs. He grits his teeth and inwardly curses.

Whatever the case is, he'll make a mess of her.

He blames the universe for how badly that turns him on.

Closing in, he warns Ran by the ear. "S'll be a lot," he says, and Ran, tongue-tied and keening, nods frantically. In a split second, Shinichi makes a decision - spilling over the table will ruin Ran's notes. So the final blow he does, painting the back of Ran's thighs, dribbling down the seam of her socks as he spurts out more, and more, and more, then sliding back again between her thighs, calming himself down with one hand on her hip and the other squeezing her breasts beneath the hoodie.

For Shinichi, everything burns.

"Can I..." Ran speaks first, over quiet gasps of air, "Can I um, remove my socks, I'm..."

"Shit," Shinichi rasps, unable to even out his breathing. "Hold on." Still in a bit of a haze, he slowly releases his grip on Ran's breast, sliding down to join his other hand on her hips. Even in his high, he tries his best to hold her ever so gently. He tries his best, despite the wave of shame that has begun to wash over him.

"Sorry, I couldn't—"

Before Shinichi can finish, Ran turns her head to look at him, and Shinichi knows. The lines of sweat, the slow ragged breaths, the gentle stoke of fire in her eyes, all tell him that for Ran, everything burns, too.

They fall silent for a brief second, holding each other's gaze. Until Ran giggles first. 

It surprises him so because she’s giggling. She rolls the socks down one leg and Shinichi assists her in the other, thinking, if only he foresaw the positive feedback he'd get from this, he would’ve done this ages earlier.

“I think,” she begins, after she lets him clean her up with the dry portion of her discarded socks, the pair obviously going straight to the laundry. “That’s such a perverted thing to do.”

“Hey. Tha – !” Shinichi gives his retort a second thought, unable to control the red of his cheeks as he tucks himself inside his joggers. At least he accepts there is no use denying a fact.

“Don’t blame me,” he mutters, abashed, turning her around so she can see him pout. Maybe Shinichi will have to clean himself up too, later, alone, in the shower.

However, he notices that the fire in her eyes hasn’t disappeared.

“Whose fault is it then? Mine?” Ran asks, coy.

Fuck, not again.

Shinichi is supposedly mature enough to own up to his weakness, but until the end, even as he lays sprawled on the bedroom floor drowning in her kisses twice the intensity, even as he finds his hands roaming her backside to flip her so he comes on top, even as he lets her pull him free of his pants the second time that afternoon, the answer that leaves his smirking lips is, ‘definitely the universe’s.’

[reallyromealone]

Can you do a long fic where bakugou has a baby brother like maybe 2 years old?

Title: sibling bonding

Fandom:my hero Academia

Warnings: male reader, baby reader, fluff, big brother Bakugo, soft Bakugo

Notes: I can't promise a long fic as my fic lengths are based off of how much steam I have but ill write what I can

☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️

Bakugo was happy to have the house mostly alone, his parents in Milan for two weeks he had off for a fashion show.

Why was he mostly alone?

Well they couldn't take his little brother, the two year old didn't do planes well and it was just easier to find a sitter or let him stay with someone for the time, usually their aunty. "Uh-oh" (name) said as he dropped his sippy cup carefully lifting it back up before wandering to his brother "ka!" He said happily as he climbed onto the couch "what squirt?" Katsuki said to the young tot who looked at his phone "what do?" He asked as Katsuki got notifications from discord "I'm texting a few friends, they're coming to visit later for a movie" he was always so soft with his brother, sure he was loud as the rest of his family but his baby brother took more after their dad so he always tried to be gentle.

"Oovee?" He asked curiously and Katsuki nodded "yeah a movie, we gotta get some snacks for you and me before it" he said to the boy who smiled "cake!" "No cake but we can get you a cake pop when we get our walk home drink" Katsuki knew how to compromise with the boy who clapped his hands excitedly.

Katsuki helped (name) put on his shoes before putting him on his shoulders, it was easier to do than hold his hands and (name) got to have fun.

The two went to the convenience store as (name) pointed to various snacks, Katsuki having to hinder the boy with the fact he wanted /everything/ the store had to offer but did compromise with some ice cream and little treats for after dinner and such.

"Cake!" (Name) was absolutely thrilled when Katsuki handed him a cake pop, the teen holding the snacks with one hand and had (name) on his hip as they walked home, (name) eating his treat contently, the boy taking a sip from their drink occasionally.

(Name) loved helping his brother, the tot getting to help put things together for the hang out "you get to watch a movie then it's bath time alright?" Katsuki said to his brother who did a little dance before running off to go play with his toys 'weird kid' Katsuki thought fondly as he finished prep.

"YOOOO BAKUBRO!" Kirishima said as he and a few other classmates entered the Bakugo house, Kaminari whistling at how nice it was inside "whose ready to paaaarty!" Mina said as her, ochaco and Momo came inside with snacks "let's watch some scary...shoopuff" mina halted when she saw the two year old in Katsukis arms, little (name) looking curious but recognized Kirishima from a few visits "little man!" Kirishima ran and grabbed the boy and lifted him "what's up!"

"Hiiii!"

"Whose the kid?" Kaminari asked as (name) spoke nonsense to Kirishima but it was probably his day if any context about "walk" and "cake pop" were to go off of "that's my brother" Katsuki said gruffly, a slight glare on his face as his friends looked at the babe curiously.

During the movie, the teens would notice Bakugo would be soft with the boy even when he scolded him "oi, leave that alone" "but you're smelly!" (Name) argued back, holding a book in his hands "put it down and park your ass and watch the movie or its night time" Bakugo said to his brother who huffed but complied "you're not my favorite brother anymore!"

"Ah? And who is?"

"Dad!"

The movie went on well, the group putting on a hero movie and before they knew it, it was (name)s bath time "bubububbub!" (Name) was pleased with the bubbles as he played with his toys, his older brother working around him to wash him "head back" the teen said gruffly as he put a visor on the boys forehead and rinced out the shampoo before repeating it with the conditioner "kaa! Ducky!" The boy squirted some water at his brother who rolled his eyes "wanna see something cool?" He asked his little brother who looked curious "ya!'

Katsuki put his hand in the water and activated his quirk, just enough to give a jacuzzi affect "whoa!" The boy said excitedly as Katsuki pulled his hand out "now, out ya go!"

"Nooo!"

"None of that! Come on, let's brush your fucking teeth and get you to bed brat"

(Name) cuddled into his brothers shoulder as he wore his fuzzy pajamas, the other teens waving him goodnight as Katsuki brought him to his bedroom and tucked him into bed "hah? What's this?" Katsuki held up a small handmade plush of him in his hero suit "Die'ite!" (Name) grabbed the plush and Katsuki felt a small smile creep on his face as his little brother hugged the toy "he a hero you like?"

"He's the bestest!"

[bnhaobservation]

How the Todorokis call each other (Part 1)

So since I researched for it for my fic here are a bit of the words the Todorokis use to call/talk about themselves and each other in the Japanese manga (occasionally comparing it with the English translation).

Note that I won’t report names that are too general (when one of the children talks of them as his father ('chichi' 父) or his mother ('haha' 母) or when they refers to their family ('kazoku' 家族) and that sometimes, in English, the characters seemed to call someone in a certain way but the same didn’t apply in Japanese.

In order to make things simple I’ll group the characters when a Japanese term is used multiple times, so as to explain what it means only once. In part 2, as well as ending with the list of ways they call each others, I’ll put a summary for each character, so that if you want to know what a specific character use, you can do it more quickly.

Just remember the Todorokis, being a family, tend to use casual speech to talk among them, so they use many words which would be rude if they were to use them with other people but which are perfectly okay between family members. Also in the Japanese family hierarchy, Enji is above his children and wife, Rei is above her children and, in regard to the children, older siblings are above younger siblings.

It's worrth to say I’m not Japanese. The explanations of Japanese terms come from me reading plenty of Japanese dictionaries and grammars but I might have done mistakes or missed something... or missed some way the Todorokis used to refer to each other (as there's actually plenty of quotes). Consider yourself warned and feel welcome to write me if you think I missed something.

HOW DO THEY SAY “I”

Ore (俺/おれ Lit. “Oneself”)

In normal situations all the Todoroki males use ‘ore’.

This term is the most casual form of self-address used by men, which establishes a sense of masculinity. It can be seen as rude, depending on the context, as it’s suitable for conversations among close friends or relatives but not in polite conversation. It emphasizes one’s own status when used with peers and with those who are younger or of lesser status. Among close friends or family, its use conveys familiarity rather than masculinity or superiority. It was used by both genders until the late Edo period and still is in some dialects.

It’s notable how Tōya used ‘ore’ even before Natsuo’s birth so when he was 4 or younger (Natsuo was born after he turned 4). Very likely, despite being so young, he was copying his father’s speech pattern.

Watashi (私/わたし Lit. “One own person”)

If the male Todorokis use ‘ore’, the female Todorokis use ‘watashi’.

Don’t mistake ‘watashi’ for a female only way to say “I”. Only in casual speech, it is typically only used by women because if used by men in casual context it may be perceived as either stiff or feminine however, in formal or polite contexts, this is gender neutral (for example All Might uses it, his catchphrase “I am here” in Japanese is ‘watashi ga kita’ 私が来た lit. “I have arrived”).

That’s also why in chap 306, when speaking with the press, Enji switches to ‘watashi’ so as to sound as polite/formal as possible (before switching to ‘ore’ again when he tells them to watch him) and, in the anime, they also had him use ‘watashi’ in episode 46 when he answered to the phone so as to convey he was being formal/polite.

Boku (僕/ぼく Lit. “Servant”)

Used by males of all ages and very often used by boys (for example Midoriya uses ‘boku’ hence the title ‘Boku no Hero Academia’… but All for One also uses it so it’s not just for boys), ‘boku’ is perceived as humble and therefore polite, but can also carry an undertone of feeling young when used by males of older age. In addition to this it’s also used when casually giving deference.

Why I included ‘boku’ in this list if I said all the Todoroki males use ‘ore’?

Well, we actually have some exceptions in which they used ‘boku’.

Differently from Tōya who used ‘ore’ from a very young age, Shōto as a child of 5, used ‘boku’, likely not having the wish to emulate his father’s speech pattern. Interesting enough we know however that Tōya, as an adult, used ‘boku’ when he made his whole speech to the nation which was transmitted during the final stage of the Paranormal Liberation War Arc as, during it, he changed his normally rude speech pattern for one much more polite and humble.

Lastly, although not really a Todoroki but still related to them in a fashion (he’s probably a cousin from Rei’s side since he’s also an Himura), Geten regularly uses ‘boku’.

Their own name

Normally used by small children it’s however also a very feminine and kind of childish way to refer to oneself.

Fuyumi, before Natsuo’s birth therefore when she was 3 or younger, used not ‘watashi’ but ‘Fuyumi’ to refer to herself.

Kono (この “This”) + their own name or personal pronoun

In chap 55 when Enji tells to Gran Torino he will be enough to beat the Nōmu, Enji uses ‘kono Endeavor’ (このエンデヴァー “This Endeavor”). In English this comes out odd and, considering what was said before, you might think it’s either childish or girlish but in this case, with the addition of ‘kono’ the sentence actually remarks the name in a “no one else but Endeavor can do it” way. In the same way in chap 154, when Enji uses this time ‘kono ore’ to tell Hawks if he really believed he was in troubles,  it remarks ‘me’ although this time is in the opposite way as to imply “everyone else but him would be in troubles”.

FATHER (父) AND MOTHER (母)

There are various ways in Japanese to say “father” and “mother” that vary for levels of politeness.

Okā-san (お母さん/おかあさん “Mother”)

The addition of the initial ‘o’ (お) and the ‘–san’ (さん) at the end tell us this is a polite way to refer to her, although, since it’s the most common way to call your mother in Japan, even though technically it’s closer to “mother”, it’s perfectly fine to translate it as “mom”, which is currently the most common way to call your mother in English. Note that ‘okā-san’ can also be used to talk about someone else’s mother or for your mother-in-law. Rei is referred as such by all her children, regardless of their age, and even calls herself as such when talking with a young Tōya. Plus this is also how she calls her mother. In the English manga occasionally you also see her called as “mommy” but in Japanese she’s always called ‘okā-san’ only and not in a less formal way (kā-san, okā-chan, kā-chan, mama) and the choice to occasionally translate ‘okā-san’ as “mommy” is likely because the translator felt it would be more fitting for a young child to use it.

Kā-san (お母さん/おかあさん “Mother”)

Same as before but the lack of the initial ‘o’ makes it slightly less polite/formal. It's how Enji calls Rei when talking with Fuyumi. Natsuo will also call Rei as such when telling Enji not to stay close to her and the others or he'll only heat them up further in chap 421. Interesting enough, it's also how Īda calls his mother, even though the English version goes for a more formal "mother".

Otō-san (お父さん/おとうさん “Father”)

This is the equivalent to ‘okā-san’ for fathers … but it’s not equally popular as ‘okā-san’ in the Todoroki house. Like ‘okā-san’, 'otō-san' would be closer to "father" but it's okay to translate it "dad" and the English translator occasionally decided to translate it as "daddy" when it was a small child using it. Notably, of all of Enji’s children, only Tōya and Fuyumi still use it, while Shōto, as a child of 5, used it but now doesn’t anymore. Also Rei called Enji as such when talking with a young Tōya.

Oyaji (親父/おやじ “Father” or “Old man” lit. “parent father”)

This is a rather nuanced word. Let’s say it’s a more colloquial-sounding way to say “father” which can also used to refer to middle-aged or elderly men. It’s not exactly rude (though some Japanese people consider it as such) but it’s definitely very informal, similar to saying “my old man” in English but (often) without an affection. Again, it's nuanced and depends on the contest. Within one’s own family, teenage and older children, especially males, tend to start using the term to address their fathers at home. In public though, older children will typically call their own fathers ‘otō-san’. Using such word in many cases gives a ‘rough guy’ vibe. Teenager Shōto uses it to talk with or about Enji, regardless he's at home or not, and he’s clearly doing it because he refuse to show him respect, opposite to how he still call Rei ‘Okā-san’ instead than the ‘oyaji’ equivalent, ‘ofukuro’ (お袋). This contrasts sharply with Tōya, who instead regularly uses ‘otō-san’ (though if he does so in a mocking way or as a call back to the past since the past never dies it’s up to speculation) and uses ‘oyaji’ only in a couple of circumstances (chap 301 and 390). In chap 301 he’s clearly trying to keep distance from him as he speaks to himself since he calls him ‘oyaji’ and ‘Todoroki Enji’ instead than his usual ‘otō-san’. In chap 390 he’s being deliberately as rude as possible as he tells him to die. More about it later. It's possible Natsuo would also use 'oyaji' to call Enji, though so far we only saw him either calling him by his Hero name or using 'anta' (あんた) to call him. More about it later.

BIG BROTHER (兄) AND BIG SISTER (姉)

Same as with “father” and “mother” there are various ways in Japanese to say “big brother” and “big sister” that vary for levels of politeness. Note that in theory in a Japanese family the children aren’t all equal but older siblings are hierarchically higher than younger siblings and younger siblings own them respect.

Nē-chan (姉ちゃん)/Nē-san (姉さん)/Onē-chan (お姉ちゃん)

‘Nē’ (姉) is the word used for “big sister”. It can be used alone or after the name of the person in question and the level of politeness changes according to the suffixes and prefixes used. ‘O’ (お “honorable”) gives an extra layer of politeness, '-san' (さん) is your standard polite suffix (when added to a name is generally translated as “Mr.”, “Mrs.”) while –chan (ちゃん) is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment.

Natsuo calls Fuyumi ‘nē-chan’, which is clearly familiar and affectionate, but Shōto calls her ‘nē-san’, therefore sounding more polite and distant. This can reflect the fact that Natsuo grew up closer to Fuyumi and is also closer in age compared to Shōto but might also be a reflection of how they were raised. When Rei told Natsuo to protect his big sister in chap 388, she told him to protect his ‘onē-chan’ (the ‘o’ adds a tone of politeness, but likely Rei always uses it as a way for Rei to remind Natsuo to be polite with his older sister), therefore she might have encouraged him to use a more endearing and close term for his sister, something she might not have done with Shōto merely because he wasn’t allowed to interact with Fuyumi (and the rest of his siblings) when Rei was living with them. In chap 192 Fuyumi calls herself his ‘nē-san’ when talking with Shōto, likely because after Rei left she took up a mother role to him and Shōto might have ended up calling her as such in response. Enji also, when talking with Natsuo, used ‘nē-san’ to talk about Fuyumi and he might have done the same with Shōto so that he ended up doing the same.

Nī (兄)/Nī-chan (兄ちゃん)/Nī-san (兄さん)/Aniki (兄貴)

‘Nī’ (兄) is the word used for “big brother”. The level of politeness changes according to the suffixes and prefixes used, same as ‘Nē’. Now… Tōya is called just ‘Tōya Nī’ by all his siblings and Shōto calls Natsuo ‘Natsu Nī’ as well, no suffixes or prefixes attached. Using just ‘Nī’ it’s very informal and childish but it started likely due to Fuyumi and Tōya being very close in age (11 months of difference) and therefore being allowed to a lower level of formality. Since Shōto was kept apart from his siblings and this lead Rei to stay away from her other children to take care of him as well, Natsuo likely copied Fuyumi’s way to call Tōya and, eventually, Shōto ended up doing the same with both his older brothers despite not being close to them, probably merely because he mimicked the way they talked. Note that when talking to Shōto in chap 34, Enji referred to Tōya as his big brother, he called Tōya his ‘nī-san’. Tōya instead referred to himself as his ‘nī-chan’ twice when talking with Shōto, which could have been mocking but could have also been the way he used to refer to himself with his siblings as a kid. In chap 388 and in chap 244/350 Natsuo and Shōto, when arguing with Tōya drops the childish and familiar ‘nī’, which would be unfitting of the situation, and switch to ‘aniki’ (兄貴). ‘Aniki’ is still a way you can use to call your older brother (‘ani’ is another way to read the kanji for “big brother” (兄) and '-ki' (貴), when added after nouns related to people expresses love and respect) but it’s considered less formal than ‘onī-san’/‘nī-san’, yet not endearing or childish like ‘nī’/‘nī-chan’/‘onī-chan’ as it has a rough note (kind of like ‘oyaji’). It’s notable they don’t use just ‘aniki’ but add a pejorative. Natsuo goes for a ‘KUSO aniki’ (クソ兄貴 “shitty/damn big brother”) while Shōto, who is less close to his big brother, goes for a tamer ‘baka aniki’ (馬鹿兄貴 “stupid older brother”). More about this though, later on.

YOUNGER BROTHERS AND YOUNGER SISTERS

Normally they’re referred just by name, however in Fuyumi and Natsuo’s case they actually have the equivalent of ‘pet names’ of some sort.

Tōya calls Fuyumi ‘Fuyumi-chan’ (冬美ちゃん) and Natsuo ‘Natsu-kun’ (夏くん). As said before ‘-chan’ is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment and, in case it’s attached to the name, is used from older person to younger person. You might want to translate it something like “little Fuyumi” or “dear Fuyumi”. As for Natsuo… ‘-kun’ (君/くん) is usually used for addressing males younger than the speaker. Boys in the same age group can call each other with ‘-kun’ (Midoriya, for example, adds ‘–kun’ to the surname of all his male classmates… while Shōto instead calls them simply by surname). Sometimes male office workers call their younger female colleagues with it. This is not rude but a sign of familiarity. You might want to translate it something like “young Natsu” but just "Natsu" would be fine as well. Interesting enough while Fuyumi calls Natsuo just ‘Natsu’, Rei also calls him ‘Natsu-kun’, Natsuo being the only one among her kids she doesn’t call just with his full name. Shōto is the only one of the younger Todoroki kids who didn't have a suffix attached when called by his older siblings. As said before, being called something different by just your name is not mandatory but it's possible in Shōto's case this is not happening due to him being kept away from them or due to Tōya having been the one who decided the 'pet names' for his younger siblings.

HUSBAND AND WIFE

Again, there are various ways for a husband to call his wife and vice versa.

In Enji’s case though he commonly refers to/calls his wife as just ‘Rei’ and calls her ‘tsuma’ (妻 “wife”) only once, when talking about her and his children in chap 248.

Another common Japanese way to refer to your husband/wife is by calling them "you" (the wife would use ‘anata’ (あなた), the husband would use 'omae' (おまえ)). This often gets translated as "dear" in English manga.

In Rei’s case she usually calls Enji ‘anata’ (あなた), although, for obvious reasons, in the English manga in this case it doesn't get translated as "dear". In Enji's case he occasionally uses 'omae' for her, but since 'Rei' is his default way to call her and 'omae' is his default "you" pronoun for all his family, very likely his 'omae' with her isn't more meaningful than an ordinary "you". More about "you" later on.

Interesting enough in some houses once children are born, the parents start calling each other ‘Otō-san’ and ‘Okā-san’ and when talking with a young Tōya about Enji, Rei called Enji ‘Otō-san’ while Enji, when talking with Fuyumi, calls Rei ‘Kā-san’ but here it was likely done because they were talking with their children about the other parent and not because they are used to call each other in such way.

Interesting enough Nao didn’t use ‘anata’ for her husband but ‘Kotarō-san’.

THE CHILDREN

Enji refers to all his children by first name, while Rei does the same for all her children except Natsuo whom she calls ‘Natsu-kun’.

Both parents, when wanting to talk about their children without saying their name call them either ‘ko’ (子) or ‘kodomo’ (子ども). Both mean child (and can be pluralized) but 'ko’ (子) is a more general term for a child, which is often used in a neutral or formal context (even when the child is actually an adult) while ‘kodomo’ (子ども) is a more specific and inclusive term commonly used to refer to children in a more affectionate or informal way or to emphasize the innocence and vulnerability of children, often used in educational or parenting contexts (and, in the manga, generally used to refer to the Todoroki kids when they were… well, kids). I know I said I wouldn't mention nouns that are too general but, in this case, I’m mentioning all this because, although Enji has no problems in referring to his children as 'ko’ (子) in chap 31, while talking with All Might, Enji referred to Shōto as ‘ko’ (仔) which sounds the same as “child” (子 'ko’) but the kanji he uses is not the usual one for “child” (子) but this one (仔) which means “offspring” and, normally, is used for “young animals/cubs” or “young plants/seedlings”. It’s possible Enji is using it because, when he does, Horikoshi wants us to get the idea Enji is basically talking of how Shōto was breed and raised for the purpose of defeating All Might, as if he were some sort of racehorse, the full sentence being the following:

‘Kore dake oboe toke. ARE ha… izure kisama wo mo koeru HERO ni suru. Sō surubeku… tsukutta ko da’ 「これだけ覚えとけ。アレは…いずれ貴様をも越えるヒーローにする。そうするべく………つくった仔だ」 “Just remember this. That one we’re talking about… I’ll make him a hero that will surpass you someday. In order to do that… I had/trained/created that child.”

THE GRANPARENTS

In chap 31, when talking about his grandparents Shōto called them ‘haha no shinzoku’ (母の親族 “mother’s relatives”).

'Haha' is the word you use with people outside your group to talk about your mother.

'Shinzoku' (親族) is, under Japanese law, a term that refers to people who we are related to by blood or marriage (you can translate it also as "clan") so yes, it might not necessarily means Rei's parents. It's worth to remember the Himura were an important family with a family head who might not have necessarily be Rei's father (it could have been her grandfather or even her father's male heir), though, due to Geten's story and the scene we saw in chap 301 that in the Himura family the "family head" (当主 ‘tōshu’) was Rei's father.

By the way, the Todorokis instead mention often the 'kazoku' (家族 "family") which is the family unit formed by a married couple and their children.

Shōto might refer in such a formal way to his grandparents either because he's not close to them or because he's talking with Midoriya.

In chap 302 when he refers to his grandparents Tōya called them ‘Obā-chan-tachi’ (おばあちゃん達 “grandma and the others”).

The ‘o’ (お “honorable”) in 'obā-chan' gives an extra layer of politeness while '–chan' (ちゃん) is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment. By using '-chan' and singling out his grandmother (who unlikely was the family head) instead than his grandfather Tōya sounds close to her.

It's possible though his grandfather died when he was younger, hence he referred to his grandmother.

For more about the Himura you might want to read my post about the Himura family.

WHO WORKS FOR THE TODOROKIS

In chap 302 Enji says he’ll hire more ‘shiyōnin’ (使用人 “servant/employee”).

In chap 249 Natsuo calls the person who used to cook for them ‘otetsuta’ (お手伝 “helper/maid”).

Enji, in his role as Hero, has also an 'untenshu' (運転手 "driver"), Kurumada Untenmaru, but we don't know how Enji or the other Todorokis call him, just that Kurumada calls Enji 'Endeavor' (and 'No.1' in the OAV) and uses 'anta' (あんた) with him (more about 'anta' later on), while he calls 'jarinko' (ジャリンコ) Shōto, Midoriya and Bakugō.

'Jarinko' (ジャリンコ/じゃりんこ/じゃりん子/砂利子) is an old fashioned word used to call a "student who can't keep up in school" but it's also used to say just "brat".

In theory, more than to the Todoroki family, Kurumada is connected to the Hero world, but since, according to his profile, he knows Enji by a looong time (and is one year older than him) I thought to include him as well.

HEROES AND VILLAINS

In Enji, Tōya and Shōto’s case, in addition to their own name they also have their Hero/Villain monikers, 'Endeavor' (エンデヴァー), 'Dabi' (荼毘 "cremation") and 'Shōto' (ショート yes, same as his name but written in katakana instead than kanji)… plus Enji also is defined by his ranking (‘No.2’ first, ‘No.1’ after). In some circumstances the family uses such names instead than the usual way they call them.

Interesting enough though, when Shōto interns under Enji, Enji calls him with his Hero name (which is still 'Shōto' but written in katakana so you can’t really notice it in the anime but it’s visible in the manga) and of course he called Tōya 'Dabi' until he discovered he was his son. After that moment he always called him just Tōya and I couldn’t find an instance in which he called him ‘Dabi’ again.

In fact, even after waking up in the hospital, Enji wants to say Endeavor is dead since he can’t kill a ‘Tairyō satsujin-sha’ (大量殺人者 “mass murderer”) (aka Tōya) but what he voices is instead he can’t kill his ‘musuko’ (むすこ) which means “son” (息子) and, when he finally fights Tōya, he ends up seeing him as the kid he was... making him unable to make a distinction between Tōya and Dabi. Once he acknowledges that Dabi IS indeed Tōya, he won't be able to go back see him as Dabi or call him as such, differently from others of his family members.

We never see Rei calling Enji 'Endeavor' but we see her calling Tōya 'Dabi' once, when she tells her husband he must fight him (during the rest of the discussion she called him 'Tōya' or 'ano ko' (あの子 “that child”))... as calling him 'Dabi' probably helps her to distance herself from how she's asking Enji to fight their son (Chap 302).

Natsuo called his father 'Endeavor' in chap 249, during the dinner at which Midoriya and Bakugō were invited. This seems to remark his wish not to acknowledge Enji as his father but as a stranger.

Natsuo also refers to his brother as 'Dabi' in chap 302, but more as something that was created more than as his brother, as he's also likely trying to distance himself from the idea Tōya and Dabi are one and the same.

At the same time Shōto called his father 'Endeavor' during the Stain case when asking to other Heroes about him (chap 55) and during his internship (chap 249), in short when he needed to acknowledge him as a Hero.

As for Tōya, of course Shōto called him 'Dabi' before the reveal. After the reveal, in chap 349 Shōto, before fighting Tōya, starts calling his brother just ‘Tōya’ (without the ‘nī’ (兄) which is kind of rude) then decides to switch to ‘Dabi’, either to acknowledge him as a Villain or to keep emotional distance from him. We know also that in the flashback in chap 352 called 'Dabi' his family's sin.

Tōya isn’t really prone to call Enji 'Endeavor' and does so only in few notable situations:

- prior to becoming Dabi, solely when telling Enji to look at him before attacking Shōto as a child (chap 301);

- when facing Enji as Dabi after Enji’s fight with the Nōmu (chap 190);

- when denouncing Enji on tv (Chap 290);

- during the Paranormal Liberation War when he attacked him (chap 292)... although during the battle he alternated calling him 'Endeavor' and 'otō-san';

- when he repeated what Skeptic told him, that Endeavor was at Gunga... but what's meaningful here is that the reading for 'Endeavor' is given as 'otō-san' (chap 374).

This seems to imply Tōya uses 'Endeavor' solely when he's talking to/about/him in his role as a Hero.

On the other side Tōya never calls Shōto with his Hero name… even though, of course, since it matches with his normal name, no one can realize it.

Now... I said the family tries to distance the idea that Tōya IS Dabi by calling him Dabi... but credits when it's due, Tōya himself said that Tōya died and Dabi was born so he too is keeping the two identities parted in a way... albeith he has no problems to refer himself as 'Tōya' and be called as such, both by his family and by Himeko, who switches on calling him from 'Dabi-kun' to 'Tōya-kun', so more than identities, we should probably say he means the person he once was 'died', as he started aiming for different things and behaving differently.

Not quite Todorokis but still related to them, in chap 301 the Himura family head who’s likely Rei’s father, called Enji ‘Endeavor-sama’ (エンデヴァー様) and ‘Top Hero-Sama’ (トップヒーロー様) instead than using his civilian name.

'-sama' (様/さま) is much more formal and polite than just '-san', to the point it’s sometimes translated as “lord”/”lady”.

The fact that the Himura family head is using it underlines how high he thinks of Endeavor, for being such an important Hero.

Enji also gets called 'No.2' and then 'No. 1' after he rises to the position. Shōto in chap 31, calls him 'mannen No. 2 no HERO' (万年No.2のヒーロー "eternal No. 2 Hero"). Then after he becomes No.1 Natsuo refers to him as such in chap 192, Shōto does so in chap 247, and Tōya does so in chap 191 and 231. In chap 191 Tōya also called him ‘No. 1 hero-san’ (No.1ヒーローさん), when telling him goodbye and that they’ll have a chance to talk again... though the politeness here is probably an attempt at sarcasm.

In chap 290 Enji himself defined himself ‘kono kuni no Top Hero’ (この国のトップヒーロー “this country Top Hero”).

Also I’m placing it here, though I doubt Rei is referring to his Hero role but to how Shōto managed to positively react to all he went through (differently from the rest of the family so he's kind of like a role model to them)… still in chap 302 Rei says Shōto is the ‘Todoroki-ke no HERO’ (轟家のヒーロー “Todoroki’s family Hero”) but the reading given is ‘Uchi no HERO’ (ウチ のヒーロー “our own family’s hero”).

YOU

Polite Japanese speech requires not the use of “you” but the use of a person’s name. However the Todorokis are a family, they talk to each other in an informal way and so they do use also “you” to talk with each other.

Anata (あなた,貴方, 貴男, 貴女 Lit. “precious toward”)

This is the only second person pronoun comparable to English “you”, yet still not used as often in this universal way by native speakers, as it can be considered having a condescending undertone, especially towards superiors. For expressing “you” in formal contexts, using the person’s name with an honorific is more typical (Hawks tends to use 'Endeavor-san' when talking with Enji and switches to 'anata' only when he doesn't want to repeat 'Endeavor-san'.... and while she uses just 'Endeavor' or 'Hawks', when she has to say "you" the Chairman of the Hero Public Safety Committee uses 'anata' as well). More commonly, ‘anata’ may be used when having no information about the addressed person; also often used as “you” in commercials, when not referring to a particular person. Furthermore, commonly used by women to address their husband or lover, in a way roughly equivalent to the English “dear”. Rei uses always ‘anata’ to talk with Enji but, of course, due to their (poor) relation, we never see it as being translated as “dear” in the English manga.

Omae (おまえ/お前/御前 Lit. “polite front”)

This is the “you” everyone in the Todoroki family uses. Of course it comes with a nuance. If used to talk with people outside the family it’s used by men with more frequency and expresses the speaker’s higher status or age, or a very casual relationship among peers. Often used with ‘ore’ it can be very rude if said to elders. Commonly used by men to address their wife or lover, paralleling the female use of ‘anata’. Of course, since the Todorokis are a family, they use it with each other and it’s not meant to be rude (and yes, occasionally Enji used it with Rei though it’s not as recurring as she uses ‘anata’ so it might not have the same nuance)… and since the male Todorokis are rough, tough males who use ‘ore’ they also use it with people that’s outside the family but in this case it’s actually kind of rude (notable how Geten for example uses it with Dabi during their fight).

Anta (あんた/アンタ)

Contraction of ‘anata’ is also generally not used as it’s considered too direct. Can express contempt, anger or familiarity towards a person. Sometimes it can be felt as more rude than ‘omae’ sometimes it’s the opposite. Generally seen as rude or uneducated when used in formal contexts. ‘Anta’ is often used among girls who want to act leading the guy a little bit forcely and scoldishly. There are a bunch of time in which ‘anta’ is used among the Todoroki family members and they’re all when a character is scolding another. We start with Fuyumi who, when scolding Natsuo in chap 187, calls him ‘anta’ (あんた), we continue with Natsuo who, when arguing/scolding Enji in chap 192 and 302 calls him ‘anta’ (あんた) and we finish with Shōto who, when arguing with Enji in chap 351 about who of them has to face Tōya calls him ‘anta’ (アンタ) to tell him he’s the only one who can face All for One. Yes, Shōto uses katakana which generally are used to underline the word, so it's possible it's done to remark how only Enji can do it but also to underline how Shōto, who's angry, is not using his usual ‘TemeE’ (てめエ) with his father but a tamer word. Interesting enough Tōya, or probably I should say in this case Dabi, uses ‘anta’ too, but not with his family member but with Ujiko in chap 350 both to refer just to him and to him and All for One ‘anta-ra’ (あんたら “you” (plural)). Dabi is an ‘omae’ guy who’s generally not polite but calls Ujiko ‘Ujiko-san’, so the fact for him he uses ‘anta’ and not ‘omae’ is probably meant to feel less rude that if he were to use ‘omae’. Another character connected to the Todoroki family who uses ‘anta’ is, as I've already said, Kurumada with Endeavor.

Temē/TemeE (てめえ/てめエ/手前 Lit. “the one in front of my hand”)

'Temē', a reduction of 'temae', is, according to some, the rudest way to say “you” even more rude than ‘Kisama’ (we’ll talk about it in a while) and it’s used when the speaker is very angry. It’s the sort of thing you might translate with “son of a b*tch” or some other insult along the line. Originally used for a humble first person, it’s an ateji, which means either the readings of the individual kanji do not match the reading of the word, or the meanings of the individual kanji do not match the meaning of the word. Shōto uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 34 when arguing with Enji (which makes notable how he’ll only use ‘anta’ much later on when arguing with him in chap 351) and again uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 292 when fighting with Tōya and Tōya also uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 351 when fighting with Shōto (in their previous fight he used ‘omae’ with him). The fact that the last ‘e’ is written in katakana instead than hiragana is often done to put emphasis on it.

For completeness sake I’ll report two other ways to say ‘you’ which some of the Todorokis use but not, as far as we know, with their family members.

Kimi (君/きみ Lit. “lord” (archaic))

It’s the kanji also used to write '-kun'. Informal to subordinates; can also be affectionate; formerly very polite. Among peers typically used with ‘boku’ (僕) (so, as you can easily guess it’s Midoriya’s “you” when he’s not using someone’s name). Often seen as rude or assuming when used with superiors, elders or strangers. Enji uses it when talking with Midoriya at the sport festival and when he observes how Midoriya too was one of them because he should have suffered for his Quirk, showing him some degree of politeness… but he will eventually switch on using ‘omae’ for him during the Dark Hero arc, which likely his meant to imply they gotten more familiar, not that he's being disrespectful.

Kisama (貴様/きさま Lit. "precious lord")

Historically very formal, but has developed in an ironic sense to show the speaker’s extreme hostility/outrage towards the addressee. It’s basically so rude/aggressive it often gets translated into “bastard/you bastard”. Enji uses it when talking with All Might, sometimes outright saying ‘kisama’, sometimes the furigana say ‘All Might’ but the kanji below say ‘kisama’ just to drive home the way Enji is saying ‘All Might’ is all but polite and all this is very rude as All Might isn’t just ranked above him but he’s older than him and a Hero by longer time so he definitely deserves more respect. Enji also calls ‘kisama-ra’ (it’s a plural form of ‘kisama’) Midoriya and Bakugō when they intern under him. This is actually interesting. He starts with ‘omae-tachi’ (it’s a plural form of ‘omae’) when he says he’ll supervise them, then switches to ‘kisama-ra’ when he tells Bakugō and Midoriya to tell him about themselves, then he moves to ‘kimi’ when he says since Midoriya too suffered for his Quirk he’s one of them… to go back to ‘kisama’ when he address Bakugō only… to switch again to ‘omae-tachi’ when he’s addressing the three of them… to go back to ‘kisama-ra’ when he tells them they’ve to gain experience working under him and uses ‘kisama-ra’ again when he tells Bakugō and Shōto he’ll give them the same assignment and also uses it to tell the three of them won’t impact on his work. Long story short, very likely that ‘kisama’ is solely meant to remark how they’re working under him. He also uses ‘kisama’ when he begins interacting with Hawks (who instead, as said before, uses 'Endeavor–san' and when he has to use “you” with him goes for ‘anata’ despite Hawks being an ‘ore’ guy), only to switch to ‘omae’ later on.

CONTINUE IN THE NEXT PART!

[branches-of-time]

The House That Built Me

“Figured you’d either still be at the tavern, or were already home wondering where I was.”

He smiles at you, soft, before looking away. “I was at the tavern most of the day, like I planned this morning. But… something didn’t feel right. I wasn’t really… giving it my all, and I think the patrons could tell.”

You frown. “What didn’t feel right? Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine, Windblume. I’m just fine.”

You aren’t convinced. “Then, uh… do you feel like sharing what isn’t fine?”

His gaze drops to the dark sea below. “I think you know what it is, actually.”

Cryptic as ever, you take a moment to ponder what he might mean. He takes the silence as an opportunity to elaborate. “I never really wonder where you are, you know?"

~~~~~~~

Inazuma, all raging storms and war-torn, is calling your name. Shamefully, you find yourself running north instead, searching for something, anything to fill this home-shaped void in your heart.

Maybe, just maybe, you’ll come to find that home is a person, more than a place.

Pairing: Venti x Reader - Established Relationship, GN!Reader

Word Count: 11,033

Contains: [angst (with a happy ending)] [crying] [cuddling] [emotional hurt/comfort] [lack of communication] [loneliness] [memories] [not canon compliant] [pet death] [Reader & Venti are both adults] [Reader is not Traveler but they essentially take their place in the game's plot] [self-deprecating reader] [separation anxiety] [set prior to Version 2.0] [songfic]

A/Ns: This is a songfic! Title and verses written throughout the fic are from the song- "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert.

Lastly, some context- Reader is a Riftwolf-Human hybrid, can manipulate all seven elements but has an affinity for Geo.

I know they say you can't go home again.

Sand, warmed by the afternoon sun, swells between your spread fingers as you press your hands down into the ground at your sides. Summoning a modicum of Geo elemental energy, your hands meet no resistance as they sink into the compacted grains like a hot knife through butter. You drop your raised shoulders and let your hands bury several inches into the beach until the sand surrounding them is cool, untouched by the heat of the day.

Dismissing the energy you’d been using to repel it, you allow the ground to resist you again. You note the weight of the sand as it presses down on the backs of your hands, and the firm bed of grains packed beneath your palms. You shut your eyes and flex your fingers slightly, focusing on the soft grit of Falcon Coast as it surrounds your hands in its weighted embrace.

Breathing a heavy sigh, you reopen your eyes, dropping your head and cursing the earth beneath you. This attempt at grounding yourself is doing little to ease the knot in your stomach, nor the tightness in your chest. Looking up and out across the expanse of ocean before you, the sight of Musk Reef looming in the distance doesn’t help either. You refuse to allow your gaze to drift any further south.

You begin to ask yourself what you’re even doing here, and why you thought this was a good idea. You’re no stranger to fleeing to Mondstadt whenever the world overwhelms you, but this specific beach perhaps wasn’t the wisest choice. Certainly not when the very thing you’re running from is the sea.

You hadn’t put much thought into where to go, you just knew you wanted to go home. Materializing at the waypoint east of Windrise was simply instinctual. Though, when you arrived, you didn’t turn and head north like you had so many times before. No, you took a running jump off the cliff below, gliding south and landing on the coast.

Sitting here now though, hands buried in the same sand you first washed up on after clawing your way out of the abyss… it’s not as comforting of a spot as you thought it might be. You don’t feel grounded at all, caught up between memories of the past and fears of the future.

Tugging your hands out of the sand with a frustrated huff, you turn your head to glance behind you at the cliff to the north.

…Maybe you should’ve gone that way instead. Maybe you should go home.

 I just had to come back one last time.

Materializing at the earlier waypoint once again, you pause to collect yourself for a moment. Making frequent use of the waypoints, especially in your current state, isn’t very wise. Then again, you aren’t in a very wise state. Taking a deep breath to dispel the dizziness, you let the warm breeze caress your cheeks. Looking around from your current vantage point, you find yourself grateful for the lack of people in the area. Even Chloris is currently nowhere to be found.

Well, at least you can think in peace. Jumping down from the crumbling ruin, you steady yourself against an archway, narrowly avoiding crushing a small patch of lamp grass. …Perhaps you should’ve taken another moment to collect yourself. Perhaps you shouldn’t be wandering through the wilds all on your own, in such a state.

You scoff at the latter thought. This is Mondstadt, and you’re… you. What’s the worst that could happen?

Pushing aside the thought that more alone time may not be what you need right now, you think yourself through your predicament once again as you set off on a walk.

-

You’d been reluctant to leave Mondstadt and set out for Liyue, despite knowing that you’d get no further answers to your myriad of questions here. Not to mention the nagging, relentless tug of fate, pulling you away from the nation you’d come to call home. You knew full and well that you’d have to leave. You’d find no peace in an attempt to ignore the call, and settle here indefinitely.

Still, that didn’t stop you from milking your time here as much as possible. You’d gotten to a first name basis with nearly every soul in the city by the time you ran out of tasks to busy yourself with. Gained quite the notable reputation for yourself in the process too, although that hadn’t been your goal. You truly just didn’t want to leave.

You’d trekked over every hill, passed through every valley, climbed to every peak and turned over every stone and leaf along your way. You explored the nation’s ruins, deciphered inscriptions half faded into their stone, and felled every field till- …ruin guard that stood in your way. You’d braved the frozen peaks of Dragonspine, and gained a newfound appreciation for the Pyro element in the process.

You stood atop the celestial nail, looking out through the blizzard and over the expanse of land to the southwest.

The vast, foreign land that laid before you scared you more than the journey to the top of the nail had.

After all, you didn’t fear falling. The wind at your back would surely catch you, you had no doubt.

Flecks of Cryo stung, colliding with the flushed, exposed skin of your face. You closed your eyes, balance wavering slightly as a result. A small arm was quick to wrap itself around your waist.

No, you didn’t fear falling. You feared leaving.

You leaned into the safety of your Archon’s hold, their concerned voice perfectly audible in spite of the blizzard winds surrounding you. “Are you alright? Do you need to get down?”

You feared leaving him.

-

Leaves from the end of a tree branch brush against your perked ears, pulling you back into the present. Shaking your head and drawing your ears down on instinct, you look around and realize your muscle memory has carried you the rest of the way home. Tucked away against a small cliff south of the Thousand Winds Temple, stands an even smaller cottage, forgotten to time. An Anemo Samachurl paces in circles in the yard, and its Geo counterpart sits on the old stone stairs leading into the home.

Ma'am, I know you don't know me from Adam.

The Geo Samachurl turns to look at you, and you give it a small wave in acknowledgement. Its attention lingers on you for only a moment longer, before turning back to continue watching its Anemo companion instead. A smile plays on your lips, tight and bittersweet.

You make no move to continue approaching, instead opting to back up a few paces and lean against a nearby tree, observing.

They can sense enough of your shared origins, or- maybe it’s the lingering abyssal energy on you… regardless, they can sense something on you that they recognize. Nothing specific, but something familiar enough that they feel no need to take up arms upon the mere sight of you. In all honesty, you feel the same. Their presence here doesn’t pose any genuine threat, so you’re content to leave them be.

In the many months that have passed since Venti and you moved out of this place, it’s become a haven for others. Whether it be traveling adventurers seeking shelter for a night, wildlife seeking refuge from a passing storm beneath the awning, or even your old Khaenri’ahn kin seeking a place to camp, the cottage has served many.

The both of you have kept a distant eye on the place since your departure. Though, Venti has found himself remaining more distant than you since these Samachurls have set up camp. While your presence doesn’t ring any alarm bells for them, the same cannot be said for Venti. While he holds no ill intent toward them either, something about the aura he emits sets them instinctively on edge.

You can hardly blame them. You’d raised your hackles and bared your teeth at the bard, defensive upon your first encounter as well. Looking back, he was hardly posing any threat then either, but at the time, you viewed everyone and everything as a potential enemy. After all, you’d just escaped the abyss and been tossed to the shore of Falcon Coast by the waves, your weaker control over Cryo failing you halfway across your attempt at an ice bridge. Waking up on hot sand to find a humanoid being with an unsettling gaze emanating a suspiciously divine aura above you was more than enough to kick your fight or flight into gear.

You attempted both, in that order. You immediately dug your hands into the sand and threw fistfuls of it at the stranger, successfully disorienting them and giving you an opening to flee. With nothing but ocean to the east, you bolted west, and then north, headed for higher ground intent on gaining an advantage.

Looking back now, you know nothing could’ve stopped Venti if he’d truly wanted to catch you. At the time, though, you felt pretty confident in having outrun him. By the time you felt like you’d lost him, you found yourself also lost amidst trees, the uneven terrain obscuring your sense of direction. So- tired, thirsty, hungry, scared, and confused- you dropped from a run to a walk. Pressing forward in the direction you’d run in, you kept your ears at attention to catch any threat before it could catch you.

-

The Anemo Samachurl breaks from its quiet chanting and pacing, its sudden cry pulling your focus from the past. From the way it points and takes off in a run, and the way its Geo counterpart rises to follow behind, you assume it must have seen something in the woods that caught its attention. You see nor sense nothing of note, and dismiss the likely false alarm. Probably just wildlife, or perhaps a Dendro slime looking to play. As the two little shamans run off into the trees, you take advantage of the vacancy they leave behind.

But these handprints on the front steps are mine.

You figure you’ve got enough time for a quick visit before they return. Besides, the worst that’ll happen if they do catch you in their “camp” will be a few disgruntled spells cast toward you as you hightail it out of there. It’ll be fine.

Approaching the trio of old stone steps that lead to the front door, your gaze catches on two handprints engraved into the highest stair. Memories begin to surface.

-

Sitting on the stairs with your back pressed to the door, you found yourself growing frustrated with the green-clad individual in your yard. Well, perched in one of the trees in your yard, to be precise.

You’d taken up residence in this old run-down cottage once it seemed that no one else had been occupying it. The first few days had been blessedly peaceful, it seemed the area was rather devoid of other life. Well, threatening life, at least. There were plenty of plants and animals, plus a little pond close by, providing far more sustenance than you’d grown used to surviving on. You figured it was as good of a place as any to try and sort out your next move. You hadn’t put much thought into what you’d do once you escaped, after all. You found yourself feeling… lost. After charging ahead with your focus locked on a single goal for so damn long… you didn’t know what to do with yourself now that you’d achieved it.

You weren’t lost for long though. The nosy stranger that found you on the beach proved to be the next target of your focus. Your peaceful existence in this cottage overlooking the sea didn’t last long before you found yourself in their unwanted company once again. They might’ve thought they were subtle, hiding amongst the treetops and watching you quietly.

They weren't. You could sense them. Hell, even if it weren’t for the strange aura they emanated, you could smell them. They carried a strong scent of fermentation with them, and you could easily pick up on the pungent smell in the wind.

On the third day of your silent standoff, you grew fed up with this stranger’s odd behavior. You only knew one way of settling things, and that was face-to-face, not through some weird game of observation. You cleared your throat, preparing your underused voice and searching for your words. Tilting your head back to look at the trespasser, you snarl at their relaxed stance, laid back across a branch like they’re asleep.

“Come down.” You bark the command up into the trees.

The stranger doesn’t comply, but they do acknowledge you, opening their eyes and turning their head to look down at you. “So you can speak!”

You’re in no mood to entertain their conversation, certainly not before making sense of their intentions. “Come. Down.” You repeat, voice flat and serious.

“Are you gonna throw sand in my eyes again?” Light and playful, they question you.

You huff. “No.” Not without good reason, at least, you think to yourself but fail to vocalize.

They hum in thought for a moment before going quiet again. You let the seconds pass, growing more irritable with each one. Just as you’re about to call them down once again, they roll to the side, willingly falling from the branch they’d been laying on. Your muscles twitch and lock for a moment as you stop yourself from… from… from what? What were you going to do, run and try to catch them? Why would you do that? They’ve done nothing for you.

Your lack of action proves itself inconsequential as the stranger falls at a remarkably slow speed. It’s less of a fall and more of a… decent, you suppose, seeming to effortlessly defy gravity. Righting themself midair to land on their feet, they pull their cape forward on their shoulders, beginning to approach you.

You plant your hands firmly on the stone at your sides, readying yourself for anything.

“While that wasn’t the most convincing answer, I suppose I can extend a bit of trust to you. I sure hope you don’t make me regret it though!” They come far closer to you than anyone with a sense of self-preservation ought to. They hold a hand out between you, and you stare at it, waiting for something to happen. “I’m Venti, a bard from the city.”

Finally getting your first proper look at them up close, you’re struck with the strangest sense of recognition. You couldn’t pinpoint it to save your life, but… something about this person feels… familiar. Distant, hazy, and inexplicable, but it’s there nonetheless.

You don’t like it.

When you make no move to do… whatever they seem to want you to do with their hand, they drop it, and you flinch at the sudden motion. Frowning, they question you. “Might I ask for your name in exchange, my dear trespasser? We can hardly get to know one another without exchanging some basic information.”

Your brows pinch in frustration at the stranger's many words. They say a lot, and they say it fast. It’s been… you can’t recall how long it’s been since you last held such conversation. One word stands out to you, though. “Trespasser? Me?”

He nods. “Well, technically, yes! I don’t know much about you yet but I do know that this isn’t your house.”

“How?” You question, eyes narrowing, watching as they stupidly step even closer.

“How do I know that this isn’t yours?” They question you in return.

You nod, claws sharpening, palms itching with pent-up Geo energy crackling beneath your skin.

“Because it’s mine, silly!” They laugh, reaching out toward you.

Your instincts take over as the stranger moves to grab you, and you force your hands into the stone beneath you. Releasing the Geo energy you’d been holding onto, you use the repelling force to launch yourself up off the stairs and at the fool standing before you.

You don’t make contact with them though, stumbling forward into what suddenly becomes thin air and tripping over nothing, sending yourself straight to the ground. Righting yourself before you can even register the impact, your claws tear through the dirt and grass as you turn back to face your opponent on all fours.

You freeze at the sight of them, casually propped against the railing of the stairs, clearly not poised to fight. With no weapon in their hands, and refusing to take on any sort of combative stance, you find yourself locked in a one-sided stand-off.

Not taking their eyes off you, the stranger pats the banister they’re leaning against. “I wasn’t reaching out for you, friend.” As you process their words and the seconds turn into a minute, they make no move to attack you, so you slowly let your guard down. Just slightly. Bending at the knees, you settle in a deep squat on the ground.

When the stranger seems confident enough that you aren’t about to throw yourself at them again, they allow their attention to leave you and fall to the step where you’d just sat. Following their gaze, you notice two handprints now carved into the stone, the very edge of the stair chipped away in places where your claws had caught on it.

You ready yourself for an attack, as this stranger surely won’t take kindly to destruction of, apparently, their property. But they make no move to do any such thing. They simply look back up at you with a knowing smile.

“You take after Morax, I see.”

Up those stairs in that little back bedroom, is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.

Smiling and shaking your head at the memory, you make your way into the small home. It’s rather bare, even more so than it had been when you first found the place. The two of you had taken all of your personal possessions with you into the teapot, leaving nothing but the basic furniture behind. After all, you had far better options awaiting you through Tubby’s sub-space creation.

Seeing the cottage in its original state, it once again becomes clear to you just how little Venti had customized the place prior to you moving in. He didn’t, and still doesn’t have much to his name, truly living the life of the wandering bard he identifies as. Most of what he does have he keeps on his person, whether that be in the physical sense, or dematerialized and stored away.

The cottage turned into a bit less of a shelter and more of a home over the many months you spent there with him. You stocked the little kitchen with far more than just his assortment of fruits, and an array of objects you collected from your outings lined the shelves. Looking back now, with a bit more insight on your own mental and emotional states, you venture a guess as to your behavior. You were likely hoarding whatever you found as a means of making up for how long you spent having nothing.

Venti never shamed you for it, even though he likely understood the behavior from the beginning. He was incredibly empathetic, and kinder than you felt you deserved, even once parts of your past became known to him. It took some time, given your struggle to keep up with his words, and the bigger struggle of finding your own. You managed to get it across to him eventually though, and he’d been benevolent enough to take you in.

-

You come to a stop in the bedroom doorway, surveying the place through the lens of the past.

You remember countless hours spent at the small desk in the corner, hunched over paper with text on it that you couldn’t decipher. Venti stood beside you, one hand on your shoulder, patiently teaching you how to make sense of the symbols you saw.

You remember less stressful hours spent sitting on the floor, curiously plucking at the strings of the bard’s various instruments with your claws. He’d sit on the bed watching you, naming the notes and teaching you how to turn your discordant noise into beautiful music. You were never as good as he was though, and you really didn’t mind. You preferred to listen to him playing, anyway. The bard possessed a beautiful voice, and the soft songs he’d sing to you in the dark of night never failed to put your tormented mind at ease.

Staring at your designated spot on the floor, you laugh at the memory of countless nights spent refusing his invitations. He’d offered his bed to you from the beginning, insisting that you deserved it more than he did. Besides, he said, he was used to sleeping in trees and fields, on barstools and street corners. He claimed he wouldn’t miss the bed at all.

You wouldn’t hear of it. Vehemently denying any offers, you stubbornly slept- atop as many blankets and pillows as you’d allow him to give you- on the floor by his bed like the dog you were. He wasn’t the only one used to sleeping in uncomfortable places, and you weren’t about to lose your edge by getting too comfortable too soon.

You think of the way you woke up this morning, wrapped in soft, warm blankets on a wide, plush mattress, face nuzzled into his neck, arms around his waist.

You’ve both come a long way.

You hear the familiar sound of distant hilichurlian chanting, and make your move to leave, bidding your old bedroom a quiet farewell once again.

Slipping out of the cottage and rounding the side of the building in a few long strides, you narrowly manage to evade their notice. Peeking around the corner, you watch them return to their prior posts. The Anemo Samachurl diligently paces between the trees, its Geo companion keeping watch from the stairs.

You smile, and turn to make your silent departure.

-

Checking in on your old home had been a successful distraction from the thoughts you’re trying to avoid, but you couldn’t linger there forever. Still, feeling unprepared to return to the teapot and try to put on a brave face for Venti, you find yourself wandering. With no particular destination in mind, you let your feet take you where they may.

You try to think of nothing at all for a while, failing over and over again as your mind searches for something to latch onto. Apparently counting your steps wasn’t entertaining enough for it.

After a while of failing to meditate on your walk, you find yourself leaving grass and stepping onto a dirt path. Looking up and around, you realize you’ve made your way to the road leading to the Thousand Winds Temple.

Turning and looking south, you can see the massive tree at Windrise, off in the distance. Far, far, beyond that, bringing your eyes to the horizon, you can see the snowy peaks of Dragonspine beyond the tall cliff of Galesong Hill. You sigh.

And I bet you didn't know, under that live oak, my favorite dog is buried in the yard.

A few months after arriving in Mondstadt and settling in with Venti, you found yourself exploring the icy riverbank that borders Dragonspine. The stubborn bard, wrapped in the thickest cloak he owned, trudged along behind you.

You’d told him he didn’t have to join you that day, but the thought of you exploring unfamiliar territory without him apparently just didn’t sit right. So, in spite of his occasional grumbles over the increasing cold, he never left your side.

The area was predictably desolate, save for a few Cryo Hilichurl archers lounging on the icy banks like they were on summer vacation. You weren’t looking for a fight that day though, just to explore, so you avoided drawing their attention given the divine company you were in.

Later on, as you were focusing hard on what Pyro energy you could summon in an attempt to melt the ice encasing a chest, you found something far more valuable. Venti saw it first, having been eyeing the surroundings while you were focused on the task at hand. Calling your name, he summoned your attention with ease.

Turning to look at him, your gaze followed his pointed finger and landed on a dog, slowly making its way toward you.

The animal was fairly large, but certainly far from threatening given the state it was in. As it drew closer, Venti lowered himself to his knees in the cold wet grass, suddenly forgoing his prior reluctance to endure the elements. You smiled. It seemed like he’d learned a thing or two from you about dealing with fearful dogs.

You followed suit, crouching down beside him and getting on the dog's level. The shivering animal hesitated, coming to a stop about fifteen feet away. Materializing some fresh meat you’d caught on the journey there, you quietly held it out toward the dog.

It sniffed the air, but refused to move.

Tearing a chunk off, you gently tossed it in the dog’s direction, and it landed a few feet in front of it. Sniffing harder, the animal carefully approached the offering, sticking its head out as far as it could to reach the food and avoid coming closer.

The two of you spent the better part of an hour luring the dog toward you, slowly but surely winning it over with continued offerings of fresh meat.

Upon closer inspection, you were honestly shocked that it was still standing. Skin stretched tight across its ribcage, hip bones two sharp peaks, spine a long mountain range down its back… the thing was clearly starving. You weren’t sure if it was the stress of a difficult life, a sign of old age, or both, but what you assumed had once been black fur was almost white from graying, particularly in its face. It trembled incessantly, and as soon as it came close enough and didn’t seem apt to bolt, Venti untied his cape and wrapped it around the dog, who shockingly didn’t fight it.

Maybe Venti had been serious when he claimed he could talk to animals.

You fed it more bites of meat as the two of you quietly discussed the best way to get it home. Blessedly, once the dog realized that neither of you held malicious intentions, it switched gears surprisingly fast. More than just tolerating your presence, the dog actually began to cling to you, frantically whining when you both stood up, fearful that you’d be leaving it behind.

Abandoning your half-melted treasure, you knew it was time to leave. You were quite a ways from home and you weren’t about to try teleporting the dog in its current state. So instead, you carefully picked her up, frowning at how little she weighed. Venti took the remaining meat and distracted the nervous dog with more offerings of food as you began your long, slow journey home.

“Don’t- don’t feed her too fast. I know she’s hungry but I don’t want to make her sick.”

Venti nodded, tearing off smaller bites. “I remember.” He cryptically confirmed.

You adjusted the dog in your hold, pulling Venti’s cape up around her neck. “…Remember what?”

He suppressed a shiver, but you still noticed. “You ate yourself sick on fruit and raw meat the first night you spent here.”

Your head turned quickly, staring down at him. “You were watching? Even then?”

He nodded, expression solemn. “I followed you home, you know? It just took a few days for you to notice that I was there.”

You walked in thoughtful silence for a while after that, wondering if your scattered senses had failed you, or if he was actually better at hiding his aura than you thought.

-

The dog lived with the both of you in your little cottage for a few good months. She gradually put on weight, and some life returned to her alongside it. She still moved slowly, though, and you feared she was in pain.

By that point, you’d befriended a timid alchemist with mint-green hair, and sought her assistance. She’d kindly offered you a medicine of her own creation, advising that the dog seemed rather old, and likely suffered from joint pain. You offered her payment in Mora, which she politely refused. You eventually got her to accept a small assortment of bones you’d gathered in exchange, correctly surmising that the offer would be too tempting for her to refuse.

Sucrose’s medicine seemed to help, because the dog moved with noticeably more ease once you began giving it to her. She was far from spry, but she seemed comfortable, so you were content. She was also content, in the precious, innocent way that only a dog can be. Just happy to be alive, happy to be fed, happy to be safe. Happy to be near someone that loves them, and happy to be near someone they love.

“Adagio.” Venti had once said, gently raking his nails through her fur on a warm, sleepy afternoon.

“What’s that?’ It was far from the first time he’d said a word you didn’t know.

“In musical terms, it means played slowly… I think it would be a nice name for her.”

You considered it for a moment, and found it rather fitting, nodding in agreement with a smile. “I like that.”

Adagio spent her days laying in the shade near the cliff’s edge, watching the waves lap at the small shore below. Looking back, you can thank her for teaching Venti that you can survive a half a day on your own. She could hardly chase you all over Mondstadt, or weave her way after Venti through the busy city streets, so when one of you needed to go out for something, the other would stay home with her. One of the two of you were always there, and she never knew the pain of being alone again.

She spent her nights curled between the two of you. She couldn’t make the jump up onto the bed, and you were still stubbornly sleeping on the floor, so Venti made the executive decision to heave the mattress onto the floor as well. As silly of a sight as it may have been to an outsider, the three of you were comfortable, curled together amidst blankets and pillows on the too-small mattress, bed frame abandoned on the other side of the room.

Nothing lasts forever though, and it seemed to you that the best of things were always the quickest to go.

As months passed, her movements went from slow to slower, and she started struggling with more things. She could no longer steady herself to make it up and down the three stairs to your home, so one of you carried her every time. She slept more and moved less, and her love of food began to wane.

This wasn’t your first experience with something like this. Though it had been an awfully long time since you lived through it last, you still knew what was coming.

That didn’t make it hurt any less, though. Not at all.

Both of you sat awake with her through the final night, keeping her comfortable and telling her how much you loved her. You’d never hoped harder that Venti’s communicative abilities held true.

You kept it together until she released her final breath, and when you knew she was gone, you allowed yourself to fall apart.

Up until then, your walls had been an impenetrable fortress. No emotion escaped unless you allowed it. Venti had never seen you cry.

So when your pain escaped you this time, falling in heavy golden tears and landing in her gray fur, he could only stare. He knew this wasn’t his moment to intrude on, so he didn’t. He didn’t rush to wrap you in an embrace, nor did he try to offer any hollow words of comfort. This was pain. This was loss. He was intimately familiar with it, and he knew it had to be felt.

There isn’t a single detail of that night that you don’t recall, and the teal tears that fell next to your golden ones are no exception.

That was the first time you saw him cry, too.

-

The evening breeze cools the hot golden tracks running down your cheeks. You watch tears fall onto the dirt path beneath you, and then you close your eyes.

-

You both sat there with what remained of her until the morning sun slipped in through the window. You were surprised when Venti broke the silence, offering to bury Adagio beneath the Windrise tree.

You spoke through a voice thick and strained from your cries. “That’s… that’s a really special place.”

He nodded. “She was a really special dog.”

You wiped the fresh tears from your eyes before they could fall, turning to face him.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” He put his hand out, laying it next to Adagio on the mattress. “Unless you’d prefer elsewhere?”

You knew what to do this time. Reaching out and laying your hand in his, you shook your head slowly. “No. I think Windrise would be perfect.”

-

Opening your eyes, you raise your head to glance once more at the massive tree across the sprawling field. Bidding Adagio another quiet goodbye, you pull in a shaky breath, and turn, heading north.

Walking in silence for a while, you try to let your emotions settle. The tears you just shed seemed to help a little, but the knot in your stomach won’t leave you.

You follow the road a little while longer, but when you find yourself nearing the temple, you take a detour and head west, off the beaten path. You aren’t keen on running into whatever random explorers might be camping there this evening. Besides, the scent of cecilias is on the breeze, and you’d rather follow that instead.

Making your way up the uneven terrain that comprises the base of Starsnatch Cliff, your mind returns to its ruminations over what brought you here today in the first place.

You leave home, you move on, and you do the best you can.

The reason for your reluctance to leave Mondstadt became abundantly clear on the day you finally set out for the neighboring nation. As you left Dawn Winery behind and crossed the border, headed for Stone Gate, it sank in quickly.

Venti wasn’t beside you.

Up until that point, he’d been the literal wind at your back every step of the way. Every commission you completed, every request you fulfilled, every inch of land you explored, he was right behind you. Or beside you, or above you, or in front of you…

Regardless, he was there. Answering your questions, telling you stories, helping you make sense of the unfamiliar. Whether it be words you couldn’t yet read, customs you didn’t yet understand, or emotions you couldn’t yet identify, he was your guide through it all. The Stormterror crisis came and went, as did the… incident with Signora, and the two of you grew ever closer as a result of it all. You could fill a book with the stories of what you two went through in the mere year you spent in this nation. But, as you sat together beneath the Windrise tree one evening discussing it all, it slowly grew clear that it was coming time to move on. As if the notion alone wasn’t stressful enough already, there seemed to be an unspoken understanding that it was a journey you must undertake alone.

So, you did. You’d packed your things, said your temporary goodbyes, and set off on your own without so much as once giving in to the urge to ask him to come along. The goodbyes were, after all, only temporary. You hoped. If you made it through whatever awaited you in Liyue alive, you always planned on returning home.

And you did. Many times.

You, scared as you’d been, made it through the lively adventure that was your initial trip to Liyue, and you’d come out much stronger for it. You found a confidence that you’d forgotten you possessed, forced to show itself once there was no travel companion for you to rely on.

Quite early in your journey, you gathered that you weren’t completely alone anyhow. Sure, in your day-to-day there was no talkative bard trailing behind you, and the nights proved themselves awfully lonely indeed. But Venti’s parting words, “may the wind protect you”, proved themselves surprisingly literal as you took note of one particular Yaksha. After a few nights at Wangshu Inn, and a few bowls of almond tofu shared in relative silence, the man had made himself into your shadow shockingly fast. He never seemed to be around when your gaze searched for him in a crowd, but was always conveniently there the moment you ran into trouble.

Still, in spite of his protection, not to mention your growing, innate connection with the God of your favored element, you longed for home. You longed for your home. You longed for your God.

I got lost in this whole world, and forgot who I am.

So, once the dust, or, well, waves had settled and Rex Lapis had been “officially” laid to rest, you found yourself headed northeast.

In spite of how proud you’d been for making it on your own, all of that crumbled the evening you first crossed back into Mondstadt. You could've used any of the waypoints you’d resonated with, could’ve gone right back home to the cliff overlooking Falcon Coast. But something about that just didn’t feel right. Not for your first return.

Walking the path back toward Dawn Winery, you tried to keep your composure. You tried to not get irrationally emotional over the familiar sight of Anemo crystalflies fluttering over the grape vines. You ignored the warmth in your chest at the sight of soft yellow candlelight illuminating the cottage windows along your path.

Your weakening grip on your emotions completely failed though when you caught sight of a small, green-clad bard, legs dangling from the edge of a rooftop, plucking at his lyre.

You burst into tears on the spot, folding in on yourself and crumpling to the dirt beneath you.

He dropped the nonchalant act instantly, dematerializing from his perch on the rooftop and reappearing beside you in a small, warm burst of Anemo energy that you didn’t see through your tears, but definitely felt. He’d questioned you frantically, worried you were hurt, not understanding what was wrong. Eventually, largely thanks to his embrace, the sobs wracking your form eased enough to assure him that you were fine.

You’d just missed him, was all.

The array of conflicting emotions that flashed in his eyes at the admission would've intrigued you, had you not been so absorbed in your own at the time.

In spite of how badly you craved his company, you’d already proved to yourself that you could travel on your own. So, you continued to. After an extended stay in Mondstadt to recover from your first eventful excursion, you began traveling between the two nations more regularly. Having resonated with most of the waypoints and Statues of the Seven in Liyue as well, it was easy to hop over for the day and still come home to Venti at night.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it, this brokenness inside me might start healing.

Such was your routine until Madam Ping had introduced you to her Teapots. Adeptal magic was quite the wonder, capable of impressive feats, and the new home offered to you was no exception. When you learned that not only could you live in it, but you could invite others in as well, you were over the moon. You were, of course, reluctant to bid a more permanent farewell to the little house overlooking the sea that you’d grown so familiar with. But when faced with something as convenient and extravagant as the teapot, you could hardly turn it down.

Venti had been more than interested in your offer when you brought the thing home and showed it to him. After bestowing a permanent invitation upon him, he took a liking to the space quite quickly, happy to help make yourselves a new home. Having already been informed of your penchant for Mondstadt, Tubby had crafted a world for you that resembled the land of freedom’s sprawling hills, cliffs, and beaches to an impressive degree. Your new home was far grander than your old one, but with a little time and personalization with what you both brought from the cottage, it really did start to feel like home.

It was… nice, having a safe place to return to every night, regardless of where you were or what you may be caught up in. It was even nicer that Venti seemed to quite enjoy spending time there as well. There’d scarcely been an evening where both of you hadn’t wound up in the teapot together, sharing stories of your respective days over dinner.

Things carried on like that for the remainder of your time in Liyue. You spent more and more time in the land of contracts, and less and less in Mondstadt as a result. Sometimes you’d have reason to return, and somehow you’d almost always run into Venti while you were there. Time spent with him in the teapot was no less real, but it always felt… special, when the two of you were together in Mondstadt again.

Out here, it's like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself.

Still, just as it had been with Mondstadt, you couldn’t linger in Liyue forever. You’d built a reputation for yourself there to match your standing in Mondstadt, making a slew of new connections, exploring, finding answers and more questions alike. It was time to move on. Inazuma loomed far, far off on the southern horizon, and it was up to you to make the first step to reach it.

You didn’t want to.

You stood on the docks, looking out at Guyun Stone Forest, and at Beidou’s ship anchored nearby.

You found yourself feeling something you hadn’t felt in a long while. You felt the same as you had when standing atop the celestial nail, only this time it was somehow worse. It scared you. Yes, the prospect of setting off effectively alone to yet another unfamiliar nation, but more than that. It scared you because you thought you’d grown past this. You thought you could handle this. You thought… you thought you’d outgrown this immature sense of homesickness.

You were wrong.

If I could walk around, I swear I'll leave.

That’s how you found yourself here, ambling through the wilds of Mondstadt. You really, really don’t want to leave. But you know that you have to.

You think of the stories you’ve heard in Liyue, of the terrible war raging in the island nation to the south.

You release a shaky breath into the cooling air.

You pray that you’ll make it back alive.

Won't take nothin' but a memory, from the house that built me.

Following the cecilias as their trail grows thicker, you weave your way up to the peak of the massive cliff.

You’re only slightly surprised to see a small figure, dressed in a very familiar shade of green, sitting with their back to you at the very edge.

Tension you didn’t notice you were holding melts from your shoulders at the sight of him.

You do your best to push aside the emotional storm you’ve been caught up in, and you call out to him, playful. “Fancy seeing you here!”

He twists at the waist to face you, following your movement as you approach. “I could say the same, love. What brings you here?”

You laugh softly as you come to a halt beside him. “Well, I could ask the same of you.” You carefully lower yourself to the ground, letting your legs dangle off the cliff beside his. “Figured you’d either still be at the tavern, or were already home wondering where I was.”

He smiles at you, soft, before looking away. “I was at the tavern most of the day, like I planned this morning. But… something didn’t feel right. I wasn’t really… giving it my all, and I think the patrons could tell.”

You frown. “What didn’t feel right? Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine, Windblume. I’m just fine.”

You aren’t convinced. “Then, uh… do you feel like sharing what isn’t fine?”

His gaze drops to the dark sea below. “I think you know what it is, actually.”

Cryptic as ever, you take a moment to ponder what he might mean. He takes the silence as an opportunity to elaborate. “I never really wonder where you are, you know?”

You glance at him, bemused for a moment before growing serious. “Oh, what, were you- like- watching me today? How… Wait, how long have you been up here, actually?”

He doesn’t look at you, but he shakes his head. “I don’t have to be watching you to know where you are, dear.” The wind tousles your hair. “I’m already everywhere. All the time. If the wind can reach you, I’m there.”

“...Oh. Right.” You let your own gaze fall to the sea. “Maybe I let myself forget sometimes, just how… literal that is.”

You remember the warm sea breeze from this afternoon, the brief gust that cooled your tear-stained cheeks early this evening, and the wind that brought the scent of cecilias down toward you.

“...So you could tell that I was here today.”

“Yeah.” He confirms quietly. “There was something… discordant, blowing in from Falcon Coast this afternoon. It didn’t take long for me to identify you.”

Guilt blooms within you. “Is that when you left the tavern?”

“No, I didn’t head out immediately. I mean- I can hardly turn off my omniscience, but I do still try to give you privacy in spite of it. I figured if you needed me, or… wanted me, you would call out.”

The way he says “wanted” makes your frown deepen.

“But, when the tone of the air only continued to sour as time passed, I did eventually give in to my concern.”

You pluck at the grass beneath you to busy your hands. “I’m sorry for distracting you. I really didn’t mean to, I just…”

He turns to you, cutting you off. “Please don’t say that. I couldn’t care less about losing out on a few mora at the tavern. I care about the fact that you’re out here, crying to yourself, all alone.”

A familiar tension makes itself at home again in your throat. “I…”

You trail off, lost for words. Venti makes up for it though, seeming to suddenly have quite a bit to get off of his own chest. “I can sense the difference between someone who wants to cry on their own, and someone who’s crying because they’re on their own.” His pained voice nearly cracks. “I never thought I’d feel the latter coming from you. But I’ve felt it more than once now, and… I don’t know what to do.”

At his confession, honesty slips out of you, and you can’t hold back the tears that come with it. “I miss you.” You turn to face him, and then look past, gesturing weakly out to the sprawling land of freedom behind you. “I miss this! I miss home! I miss you!” Voice breaking, you choke on your tears and lean into him, crumpling pathetically down onto his lap and curling yourself around him like the needy animal that you are.

His hands settle on you, one on your back and another reaching for your legs, pulling you against him so you don’t slip off the edge. His winds would cradle you if you fell, but he’d rather prevent the problem before it can happen. His own voice is tight with emotion when he speaks. “You have me, love. You- you hold me every night, I bid you goodbye every morning, you can visit Mondstadt whenever you please!”

You shake your head vehemently in his lap, crying harder.

“I’m sorry, love- I- I really don’t understand. In what way do you not have me?”

You practically shout your answer into the fabric of your sleeves, turning your head just enough to pointlessly attempt to wipe your face. “When I leave! I have to leave! I have to leave, and leave you behind, and you aren’t with me, and I’m alone again every time I go!”

One of his hands comes up to carefully comb the damp hair from your face, the black tips now wet with shimmering gold. “When you leave Mondstadt? Like… like when you go to Liyue?”

You nod, almost hyperventilating as your fears spill from you. “I should've never gone there alone! I wanted to ask you, I wanted you to come with me so badly but something told me that I shouldn't ask, that I should go alone, and so I went and I was so fucking scared but- but- but I was fine- I was fine- I made it back alive and so what if I cried every night because I missed you? I had a fucking nation to save it’s not like I could come home crying to you about it! And- and I mean Xiao was there but I- I- I can fight I can hold my own I don’t need protection I need a friend! I need company! I need you! I- I knew I’d be fine but fuck I felt so alone and I missed you, I missed you, I missed Venti, I missed Barbatos, I missed you SO MUCH-” You suddenly heave for air in the middle of your spiel, breathing in too hard and choking on your own spit. Feeling about as vulnerable and pathetic as you’ve ever been, you give in to the misery, grasping for purchase at any part of him you can reach. Your claws dig into the thin fabric of his tights in a way you know you’ll be frantically apologizing for later, but in this moment you can’t bring yourself to stop. You can't bring yourself to do anything but cry, and cry, and cry.

He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, the only sound he makes instead being a quiet, gentle hush, over and over, focused on calming you down. The cool hand that finds its way beneath your hair and settles on the back of your hot neck feels like heaven, and for a moment you cry harder at the relief. His other hand pets across the broad expanse of your back in slow, rhythmic, sweeping motions.

When your cries have quieted enough for you to focus on his words, he says something that surprises you.

“I’d have gone, if you’d have asked me.”

You hiccup a question. “Wh-what?”

“To Liyue. I would have been more than happy to go with you, if you’d have only asked.” His lithe fingers gently massage at the tension in your neck.

You twist in his hold just enough to look up at him. “Seriously?”

He gives you a weak smile, but it’s more sad than anything. “Of course. The only reason I didn’t invite myself along was because I wanted you to have the freedom to choose. I figured… if I offered to go with you, you might feel obligated to bring me with you.”

You laugh, but there's no humor in it. “This whole time… this whole time I really thought that you didn’t want to go.”

He’s visibly pained by the thought. “Why in the world wouldn’t I?”

You shake your head. “I don’t know… I just figured you had your reasons. It is another nation after all, and I’m still… not too sure how Archons feel about crossing into one another’s territory.” You clear your throat and scrub at your eyes and cheeks with a fist. “Figured maybe you didn’t want to run into Morax or something…”

He laughs, and there’s a bit of life in it this time. “Even the prospect of running into that old block-head wouldn’t be enough to stop me from accompanying you.” He takes your hand in his, stopping your aggressive assault on your messy face. “And while certain Archons might be… less than enthralled to see me again, just because I’m with you doesn’t mean I have to be recognized.”

Your brow furrows. “Venti and Barbatos don’t look all that different…”

He smiles down at you good-naturedly. “True. But I could take another form if it came down to it. Something unrecognizable to even them. If there’s anything I know how to do, it’s how to hide in plain sight and not be found.”

In spite of the tears still staining your cheeks, you give a small smile to your absentee God. “You’d really go to such lengths? For me?”

He gives you a confident nod. “For you and you only, love.”

His hand continues its gentle ministrations across your back, and your muscles gradually relax. You run a hand along the fabric of his tights, waiting for your breaths to come steady. As your senses slowly return to you, your fingertips brush across a few small tears in the material, and you cringe. Venti notices as much, and reassures you. “Hey- It’s alright. Don’t worry about that.”

His words are too late to stop you from raising your head enough to observe the damage, your hand gently cupping his thigh. “I didn’t scratch you… did I?”

“Nope! Just caught the fabric is all.” You aren’t inclined to believe him, given that with his abilities he could’ve healed any minor wounds before you even knew they were there.

You huff, dropping your head to his lap once more. “I’m still very sorry. I’ll buy you-”

“That won’t be necessary-” He tries to cut you off, but your insistence overpowers his own.

“I am buying you a new pair.”

He sighs in reluctant acceptance, knowing better than to challenge you. “Alright, alright. If you insist.”

You lay there for a moment, idly kneading at his thigh and letting the soft sounds of the evening wildlife fill the silence. Still, you struggle to wrap your head around the recent revelation. “You’d really be willing to leave this place?”

He laughs beneath his breath at your disbelief. “I mean, not permanently. If you’ve hatched some plan to move to Snezhnaya that I don’t know about, then I might have to disappoint you…”

You relax further at the familiar, playful edge that returns to his voice. “Nah, nah, nothing like that… just- on my journey away and back. Not- not even every time! Just… sometimes. It… really would’ve been nice to have you by my side the first time, actually, but I know it’s too late for that now. I just… wouldn't have felt so lost.”

His smile fades a bit at the confirmation of a long-held suspicion. You had been missing him as badly as he’d missed you.

You catch the shift in his demeanor, no matter how slight. “...I’m making you sad…”

One of his hands finds yours. “Only at the realization of how oblivious I’ve been.” He laughs, humorless. “All those nights I couldn’t sense you in the wind, all the time I spent wondering if you were okay… you weren’t. You were holed up somewhere, crying, alone, afraid…”

His eyes pinch closed and you squeeze his hand. “It’s not on you. I should’ve been more honest with you before I left.”

He huffs, and then he’s quiet for a moment, thinking. It’s times like these in which you wish you could read him as well as he can read you. “...I could say the same.”

You stare up at him for a moment in confusion. “What do you mean?”

He holds your gaze for a moment and opens his mouth to speak, but seems to think better of whatever he had to say. His focus shifts from you and out to the sea. “...Like I said, I would’ve been happy to follow you. I never should’ve let you grow to believe otherwise.”

You pout just slightly at the less-than-complete sounding answer, but another question overrides your focus. “Is Liyue… the limit?”

The hesitation in your voice gives him pause. “What do you mean?”

“Is Liyue, like, as far as you’re willing to go.”

His eyes brighten in understanding, and you’d collapse from relief at the shake of his head if you weren’t already on the ground.

“Oh! No, not at all. I really meant it when I said I’d risk running into the other Archons for you.”

You release his hand and reach up to pinch the fat of your cheeks between your claws. He pouts, reaching down to stop you. “What’s that for?”

“I’m afraid I’m dreaming or something…”

He laughs properly, a beautiful sound. You crane your neck up to glance southward. The wall of storms barricading Inazuma are still there, an awful sight. You drop your head back to his lap with a heavy sigh.

He pats you gently on the cheek. “You’re wide awake, I assure you.”

Reaching up, you gently bat at the braids that hang at the sides of his face, chewing on your lower lip. He reads you like a book. “I think we’ve learned something this evening, dear.”

“What’s that?”

He catches your hand mid-air, splaying his fingers out and lacing them between yours. “It’s that when we have something to ask of one another, we should do it.”

The corner of your mouth turns up, and you meet his gaze. “Is that your fancy way of telling me to spit it out?”

He giggles. “Maybe.”

You sigh, letting your gaze drift away from him and up to the stars far, far above. “Would you be so kind… as to accompany this scared old dog all the way to Inazuma?”

You close your eyes, waiting for a “no.”

It never comes. Instead, he squeezes your hand in his, and you’re shocked to hear relief in his tone when he answers you. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Your eyes flicker open, unsure. “Is… is that a yes?”

He nods vehemently. “It is.”

The tears that spring to your eyes catch you by surprise. He wipes them away with his thumb as they fall. Sniffling, you question him again. “There’s- There’s a whole war going on over there right now, you know?”

The blue in his braids brightens, and in the dark of the early night, you notice the same turquoise light begin to shine from his chest, beneath the thin fabric of his white shirt. “I’m no stranger to war.”

You reach up, tracing a gentle finger across where you know one of his Archon marks to be. “...That you aren’t.”

His thumb swipes across the black star at the base of your neck, half hidden by your collar. “...Guess that makes two of us, huh.”

It’s a rhetorical question, but you hum in confirmation nonetheless. Rising from your spot on his lap, you wiggle your way around until you’re seated beside him properly again. Reaching an arm out, you wrap it around his shoulders, and he leans into you. Both of you stare out across the sea, watching the lightning flash in the storm to the south.

“I don’t even know what I’m gonna be able to do to help.” You sigh. “But I know I have to go.”

One of his hands finds yours again. “Whatever may come, I consider it an honor to fight alongside you.”

You bark a laugh, shaking your head at the notion. “Hey now, I just asked you to come with me, I never said anything about putting you in the line of fire.”

He smiles. “I know, I know, but still… if it comes down to it-”

“If it comes down to that, I’m hauling you over my shoulder and taking us both home.” You cut him off in a no-nonsense tone.

Your seriousness doesn’t cause his mirth to falter. “I fear I’m gonna be the one dragging you home if we run into Signora while we’re there.”

A low growl reverberates from your chest at the mere mention of her. “We’ve still got a score to settle.”

He pats you on the thigh placatingly, humor in his words. “Darling, how many times must I reassure you? I let her take it from me.”

“Still, she didn’t have to be so fucking rough about it. I’m not after the gnosis. She made this personal.” You snarl.

His soft laughter subsides as he shakes his head, but he doesn’t argue.

The two of you watch the lightning show for a short while, before you grow tired of the dreadful sight and opt to focus on something better. Unwrapping your arm from the God at your side, you stifle a laugh as he voices his sudden startled displeasure. You apologize as you reposition yourselves, moving away from the edge a bit and turning the both of you around. “Sorry about that, didn’t realize you’d almost fallen asleep on me.”

He pouts. “Can you blame me? You’re warm, and it’s been a stressful day… and speaking of-”

You nod. “I know. We should be getting home soon. But- look.” You point at the beautiful sight of Mondstadt City, lit up for the night, a beacon of hope and freedom standing strong in the distance. “Isn’t that a sight worth sticking around a little longer for?”

He sighs in content as you pull him against you once more. You can’t feel the swell of pride in his chest at the sight, but you can hear it in his voice. “It sure is.”

Lifting his hat from his head and placing it in his lap, you comb your fingers through his hair, finding your own satisfaction in the way he melts against you. The two of you admire the city for a long few minutes, and a thought occurs. “As much as I want you beside me… I feel bad taking you from your people.”

He shakes his head and the motion tickles as his hair brushes against your chin. “They don’t need me, love. At least, not in the day-to-day sense.” He huffs. “Honestly, I think the most prominent place that my presence will be missed is the tavern, and that’s of little consequence in the grand scheme.”

You know he’s right, but the guilt still nags at you. “I guess…”

He leans away just enough to turn and look you in the eye. “You are one of my people too, you know?”

You hold his gaze, considering it. Have you really been here long enough, or made a big enough impact on the region to be bestowed with such an honorary title? “...I suppose I do.”

He reaches up and cups your cheek, eyes pleading. “Then let me be there for you.”

You breathe a sigh of acceptance. “...Okay.” You turn your head and plant a quick kiss against his palm before he can pull away.

He lets his hand drop, but doesn’t turn away. “I’m really sorry that you’ve been carrying all of this pain with you for so long. I should have questioned you on it sooner.”

You pick his hand up from his lap, taking it in yours. “It’s not your fault. At least, certainly not anymore than it is mine. I should've just asked you to come, the worst thing you could’ve said was no.”

“I still hate that you even thought I might’ve said no. I… should have made my willingness clearer.”

“Nah, I mean, after a year of following me around Mondstadt I think you were quite clear. I’m just… dense.” You summon a few tiny Geo shards in your palm before allowing them to crumble into a shimmering pile of dust. “Comes with the territory, I suppose.”

Venti scoffs. “Well if you’re dense, then I’m diffuse.” A tiny gust of Anemo swoops in and lifts the dust from your outstretched palm, scattering it to the wind.

You watch your two energies mix and dissolve into the night air. “I guess they do say that opposites attract.”

He hums. “That they do, love.”

You expect him to turn back toward the city, and he almost does, but then he hesitates, and calls you by name. “I want you to remember something.”

Your interest piques, brows raising above tired, lidded eyes. “And what’s that?”

His tone is serious. “You are not alone. Ever. Not if you don’t want to be. I don’t want you hesitating to call on me ever again. If you need me, if you want me, I’m there. No exceptions.” Maybe it’s the day’s exhaustion catching up with you, but the light in his eyes feels like a beacon, guiding you home. “You don’t ever have to be alone again. Remember this, please.”

Something warm blooms in your chest, and it’s in this moment that you realize the knot in your stomach has loosened. It isn’t gone, but it’s hardly noticeable anymore, and you finally breathe easy. You hold his gaze for a moment before nodding, serious. “I will.”

He brings his hand up, holding his pinky out toward you. “Promise?”

You smile, reaching out and wrapping yours around his. “Promise.”

He exhales, satisfied. “You wanna stay out here a bit longer?”

You open your arms in invitation. “I’d love to.”

Shuffling around once more, you help situate him between your legs, pulling him back against your chest.

“Alright, but don’t hold it against me if I fall asleep out here. You make for quite the comfortable bed, you know.”

You smile, nuzzling into his hair and breathing him in. The heavy scent of fermentation he once carried is now nothing but a faint whisper. “I won’t mind.” Lifting your gaze from the distant city lights, you quietly admire the stars above. “Not at all.”

A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! You can find my commentary on this fic in the notes right here on Ao3. For more info on my OC Saoirse (aka this fic's "Reader"), along with links to various relevant playlists and moodboards, you can find it all here, in the notes of my fic series "This Is Unconditional." This is fic 4 of 16 that I'm doing based on combining prompts from this list! [Day 6 (Singing) & Day 21 (Memory)] Header Image Source: Me, for once! It's an in-game screenshot that I took myself.

[aachria]

i was rereading sssbmty and I realised smth, well not realised but yeah. as I was rereading I noticed somthing. Ed was bitch. not like 'omfg Ed ur such a bitch' but like 'wtf Ed? ur such a fucking bitch! jesus...' and then I got to alabasta.

ur a genius, I've read other fics like this for example divergence and another one I cant remember the name of (going to read this bites soon... maybe). but what really puts your fic at the tippity top is giving Ed character development, not a whole fucking arc to them obvi but giving them actual character development. Ive read so many what if I was in... but I rarely see authors giving the oc development because they don't think about it or they don't think they do.

but in alabasta, Ed was saying how no one listens to them and saying how they're always right (kind giving ranpo from bsd) but then the straw hats tell them that they don't say anything with conviction.

they basically tell them (incoming poetry made by mwah) that we cant hear you screaming if youre the one keeping your mouth shut.

yeah you can use that for future reference I'm an amazing poet fr fr but its really an eye opener for ed, so far Ed was making theories with no support or little evidence and everyone went along with it. so it doesn't really make any sense to Ed why no one is listening to them. because they haven't realised that even tho they're right about where to go, its vivi's country. vivi isn't their friend because she doesn't like Ed which further dampens ed's theories on where to go because it ties into vivi and hope. there's an analysis on YouTube by MelonTree (I reccomend her entire chanel) which gets deeper into this. but the straw hats trust vivi and want what's best for her. so when Ed is screaming about where to go, they don't say WHY. they don't further in on how vivi's destination is wrong or how there's other possibilities. instead, Ed tells vivi that's its stupid, we're wasting time, I know where to go, why wont you listen.

they aren't listening to Ed because Ed isn't even listening either. Ed was making bets on vivi's country which is a funny gag, is INCREDIBLE dark to her. she has spent years invading buroque works and when she encounters this strange pirate crew they want to help. but this one crew mate isn't serious and theyre laughing and screaming at her because she's wrong. that is the pov of vivi towards Ed.

so Ed and vivi talk it out and here comes Ed, they realize that even tho I'm on the crew, that doesn't mean I'm likable. its seen through the fic that they start to work on themself and provide more evidence to theyre theories.

another thing, the title was familiar, idk why so why when I ask chatgpt what the title is: it doesn't talk about the fic but a fucking poem from the 1920's!?

"Surely some star binds me to you" is a line from the poem "Tea at the Palaz of Hoon" by Wallace Stevens. This poem, found in his collection "Harmonium" (published in 1923), explores themes of self-identity, imagination, and perception.

The line suggests a mystical or cosmic connection between the speaker and the addressee, implying that their bond is predestined or influenced by the stars. It evokes a sense of fate and the interconnectivity of all things, typical of Stevens' abstract and introspective style.

In this context, the "star" symbolizes an inescapable connection, potentially representing destiny, love, or an elemental link between individuals.' WHAT THE FUCK? anyway I'm burnt out and finished rereading the fic so imma go have ice cream like the dumbass I am ;p

Oh this is a fucking mammoth. For your dash's sake I'm putting this under a break lmaoooo

Ed having ✨issues✨ they had to work through was important to me. Hell Ed still having ✨issues✨ they're working through is still important to me. You know when people do those comparisons of a character at the start of a season and the end and they're just so much sadder and fucked up? The goal was to make that Ed. We'll see how that goes. I'm gonna 'to be loved is to be changed' this bitch if it's the last thing I do.

Ed has that kid in your math class that only writes the answer because showing your work is for cowards inside them. Ed fights that kid inside them like they want his lunch money.

I've watched a couple of MelonTree's videos, they are very good.

Idk what the hell ChatGPT is on but like... that is not correct? I went and read the poem, it's quite nice, but there isn't a single use of the word star in it and the line definitely isn't from it. THIS IS WHY I DON'T TRUST AI AIGHT????

I've mentioned it a couple times before, but the title comes from Persius's Satire 5, it's in Latin and there's a couple translations here and here (neither of which have the line as I have written lmao) and I'm sure plenty of others. The line is about his teacher and is very beautiful ok I like it a lot. I went and did a bunch of digging into it a while ago (because of course my stupid ass didn't do more than preliminary research on it before I NAMED MY FIC AFTER IT) and like... y'all....

(I'm paraphrasing because I'm tired and can't be assed to do more than reread the wiki page this shit) Persius's satires critique societal morals (he also gets upset people like other people's poems more than his but that might be ironic idk these things are DENSE and HARD TO READ), discuss themes of what you can ask of the gods, why you should have goals, why you have to know yourself, MOST IMPORTANTY and in the satire the line comes from; Stoicism and freedom (Stoics believe all men are slaves except Stoics, who are free), and how you should use money. Also very interesting, there's a lot of scholars who believe his satires (mostly the first one, I think??) have anti-Neronian sentiments — which is really fucking funny to me specifically because do y'all (if you're caught up) remember Iva talks about the 20 founding members of the WG and about Nerona Imu? And how empty throne Imu could totes be him if he had the eternal youth surgery thingy??? Idk if Nerona actually has anything to do with the emperor Nero (because of translation diffs and any subtleties in the original Japanese I'm too English speaking to understand) or if they just sound similar in English, but it's a hilarious coincidence to me either way.

OK RANT OVER GANG I'M SORRY.

[pikapeppa]

A transcript of Solas's involvement in Vows & Vengeance: Episode 1

As the title says: I transcribed the scene between Solas, Nadia, and Elio in the first ep of the Vows & Vengeance podcast, for fic and meta reasons for anyone who wants it!

Of note: some of the closed captions for the video are not accurate to the actual audio recording. One particular significant instance of this is highlighted in the transcript below. I also added a little bit of context for clarification purposes.

This transcript covers the portion of the podcast from 31:26 - 40:04.

See below the cut!

[Elio and Nadia are riding through the Silent Plains. They are on the run from Tevinter. Nadia’s horse whinnies in fear.]

Nadia: Whoa, whoa! What’s got you spooked, girl?

Elio: Probably just that ominous-looking chap in the road just ahead. Is that your guy?

Nadia: I’m not sure. Hood’s up. I can’t see his face.

Elio: Think he’s safe?

Nadia: Let’s go find out. Keep an eye for bandits just in case.

[They approach the ominous-looking chap.]

Nadia: You! Stranger! Do you know of Olen?

Solis: Nadia, I presume. I am Solas. And I am, I believe, the one that you seek.

Nadia: you have the gold? 

Solas: If that is what matters most to you.

Nadia: It’s what matters to the world.

Solas: Perhaps.

[clinking of coins.]

Nadia: Looks good to me. Elio, give him the Eye.* (* The Eye of Kethisca — the magical relic that Nadia stole from Arcanist Hall in the Archives at Minrathous)

Elio [whispering]: Are you sure about this?

Nadia: What other choice do we have?

Elio [sigh]: One moment.

[Magical humming. Elio and Nadia gasp.]

Solas: Steady yourselves. There is nothing to fear from this relic.

Nadia: You didn’t see what this thing did back in Minrathous. Unleashed a wave of energy or something. Tore the ground up, almost killed Elio!

Solas [chuckle]: I will demonstrate. Ar dirthan’as ir elgara. Ma’sula e’var vhenan. 

[Magical humming subsides.]

Elio: How did you do that?

Solas: The Eye was made from a rare gem mined in the caves beneath us. It was crafted centuries ago by a powerful Dreamer.

Eloi: So… it’s connected to the Fade?

Solas: Do you feel a connection to the Fade, Magister?

Elio: You know who I am?

Solas: Among other things. I know you well.

Nadia: [sharply] What is this? What — what game are you playing?

Solas: I do not play games. But if you seek answers, then come.

[The sound of footsteps moving through rocky debris. They are entering a cave.]

Nadia: Maybe we should turn back. This cave has a dark energy. I don’t like it.

Solas: Energy is neither dark nor light. It is just energy. And it is not the cave responsible for what you feel. It is the Fade. The Veil is fragile here.

Elio: I can feel it.

Solas: What about the Eye? Can you feel that, too?

Nadia: You said you had answers about what happened. Tell us.

Solas [sigh]: I suspect that when Elio summoned his magic* back on those docks, he unknowingly formed a bond with the Eye, and it amplified his powers. (* Elio used Stone Fist: a spell from the Rift Mage subclass in Inquisition)

[The sound of scuffling footsteps, and a blade unsheathing.]

Nadia: [to Solas] You better choose your next words very carefully.

Elio: What are you doing?!

Nadia: We never said it was at the docks.

Solas: [calmly] Kindly remove your blade from my neck.

Nadia: You start talking. I’ll decide if I move it.

Solas: Do you think the threat of a knife brings truth?

Nadia: The knife is just a promise. 

Elio: Nadia, put it down.

Nadia [sigh]: Fine.

[She sheathes the blade.]

Solas: I heard word that the Venatori had plans for the Eye. I hired Olen to retrieve the relic before that could happen.

[A sound like wind whistling in the background.]

Elio: Why would you do that?

Solas: Because they do not understand its power. Or yours, Magister.

Elio: Mine?

Solas: There are things in motion that neither of you can fully grasp. And it is up to me to ensure that we arrive at the best possible outcome. But in order for that to happen, yes: I will need your help.

Elio: Why me?

Solas: Because you are a powerful Rift Mage, and your bloodline is tied to this relic. The Dreamer that forged the Eye bore the name of An’Dante.* (* Elio’s full name is Elio Andante.)

Elio: My family created it?

Nadia: it was no accident that Olen hired me, was it? 

Solas: You’re sharper than you let on.

Nadia: It’s a gift.

Solas: It’s a frailty. [gently]

Elio: I was told* that the Eye would end the world, not mend it. (* By Neve Gallus)

Solas: Some people confuse a reckoning as an ending.

Elio: So you seek reform?

Solas: I seek… regeneration.

Nadia: I’ve heard enough of this dreck. Let’s go, Elio. Elio!

Elio: I’ll do it.

Nadia: Um, can I speak to you for a moment?

[Footsteps as they step away a bit.]

Nadia: [scoff] Are you crazy? There is no way we can trust this guy!

Elio: I understand your concern, but my purpose in the Magisterium was to help the people. To invoke change. I can’t do that now. That life is over. This could be my last chance to make a difference. And to find out the Eye was born by my ancestor’s hand? I… I have to do this. it was fated.

Nadia: [sigh] Why must you be so noble?

Elio: We are who we are, my love. 

[Nadia sighs. They return to Solas. Magical humming/ringing; it sounds like they are in a large cavern. Some breezy-echoing sounds.]

Nadia: What is this place?

Solas: An ancient chamber. Once home to unspeakable acts. Many were sacrificed on these grounds, and the blood that was spilled weakened the barriers between our worlds.

Elio: And the Eye will help us fix that?

[Ambient whispering sounds. Almost sound like voices. Inaudible/incomprehensible.]

Solas: More or less. 

[Clinking sound; Solas seems to be working.]

Nadia: And you’re sure this is safe?

Solas: As safe as we make it.

Nadia [sigh]: I don’t know. I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

Elio: Would it help if I told you that ring around your neck is imbued with a protective spell?

Nadia: Maybe. Is it?

Elio: Mm. Maybe.

[Nadia chuckles.]

[Ongoing magic humming sound; incomprehensible/inaudible ambient whispers.]

Solas: The relic is ready. Prepare your mind. Begin.

Solas and Elio chanting together in Elvhen: Heruamin litirien. Alai uethri maeria. Halurocon yalei nam bahna. Dolin nereba maome…

Nadia [sounds afraid] Guys? Guys, this does not feel right. 

Solas: Silence, please.

Solas and Elio chanting together in Elvhen: Ame amin. Halai lothi amin. Aloamin Heruamin. Heruamin oh lonai. Imwe naine beriole… 

[There is rumbling in the background, rocks breaking, cave crumbling.]

Nadia: Elio! Elio, I really don’t like this! Elio!

Elio: It’s working, Nadia! I can feel it!

Solas and Elio, chanting loudly together in Elvhen: Ame amin! Halai lothi amin! Aloamin Heruamin! Aloamin Heruamin! Aloamin Heruamin!

[Ongoing sound of cave crumbling. Nadia is crying out in fear. Then Elio starts groaning.]

Nadia: Elio!

Elio: Solas, something is wrong!  

Solas: Keep your focus. 

Elio: Solas, please! We must stop!

Solas: Keep your mind steady!

Elio: Argh! I… feel something. A presence!* (* this is significantly different from the closed caption, but my transcription is correct.)

Nadia: Solas, you have to stop this! 

Solas: This is all to be expected. Remain firm.

Elio: [straining, groaning] I can’t… Hold on!

[Ongoing cave-crumbling sounds. Nadia crying out in fear.]

Solas: If you let go now, the Eye will explode!

Nadia: Elio!

Elio: I’m here!

Nadia: Where?

[Elio screams. The cave collapses.]

Nadia: [screaming] Elio! Elio! 

Solas: [voice sounds distant] We must flee. We must flee! Now! [cries out in pain/effort] Hurry! [cries out]

Nadia: Elio! [voice echoing weirdly.]

Solas: [voice echoing weirdly] Nadia, here! Take my hand. 

Nadia: Save Elio!

Solas: He has crossed over.

Nadia: Elio!

Solas: We must escape! I’m sorry!

[Nadia grunts. Ambient sounds return to normal, no longer weirdly echoing. No more cave-crumbling sounds; silence. Shortly after, there is the sound of gusting wind rustling through grass, the horse whinnying; it appears that Nadia has emerged from the cave, or what was left of it.] 

Nadia: [groaning] Elio? Elio, are you there? Elio? Solas! Hello? [yelling, crying out in despair] No!

[shanastoryteller]

same anon and I’m just curious—- are you a fan of barnet newman?

(even if you’re not, you write beautifully about it)

mmmmmm fan is probably a strong word, at least it would have been before i wrote the fic. i actually only knew who’s afraid of red, yellow, and blue iii before writing ta'burni, i didn't even know the print in the iron man 2 was a newman before i googled it. i sort of went backwards with this

i thought that scene of tony taking down the art to replace with iron man pop portrait and pepper getting mad would be better if it was metaphorical. so i decided that the art would be something meaningful between pepper and tony and him taking it down to replace was something pepper would see as tony putting iron man before them and everything they've been through together and tony would see it as him accepting that his legacy was going to be iron man and the merchant of death and not any sort of family he could build with pepper because the palladium was going to kill him before he got that chance. and then i googled what the print was and did some research into newman to see what i could make out of this. luckily, it was newman, so he lends himself to the sort of metaphor i needed rather well. and then i didn't even include that scene in the fic rip

that being said, i do like his work a lot, and i like what he was trying to do and what he was trying to say and how that expressed itself in his pieces. i think a lot of modern/abstract art is context reliant and now that i have context i am a fan

i'm probably about to make an ass of myself here, because i really have zero qualifications to have any opinions about art besides that occasionally i like to look at it. i haven't even taken an art history course

i think a huge barrier to people being able to really appreciate modern art is that society is heavily reliant on self contained art and it's the kind pretty much everyone has experience with. with books and movies and music, they are designed to stand on their own. context never hurts, and can add, but the understanding and enjoyment of these mediums should not be context dependent. if they are, then these works are considered bad. it's a sign of bad artistry to require context in these mediums

then there's, you know, fields and portraits and depictions of history and myth. context always adds, but you can look at almond blossoms or saturn devouring his son and you see a complete picture. you can appreciate artistry without any understanding of what's being depicted or why and knowing why doesn't even necessarily improve the experience. is almond blossoms a different piece now that i know it was intended for a nursery? to some, maybe, but to most, no.

so you have modern art, abstract art, performance art, ect, and you need context. context is half the piece. sometimes the whole piece. it's like seeing two earthlings without knowing the title and going, yeah, that's a nice painting, and then seeing the title and getting that little oh of connection to a species that's been dead for longer than humanity has been alive. and that's not even abstract art! that's a painting fully capable of standing on it's own merits even without the gut punch of context

portrait of ross in la is incomprehensible without knowing that ross died of aids. unfinished painting (1989) is something you can look at and go, okay, that's a piece of art, but without the context that it's basically a the self portrait of keith haring's life, also cut short by aids, do you really understand the art? is it hitting?

is tableu i anything more than straight lines and crayola color paint if you don't go a little deeper and go, maybe this is the start to every artist's journey, maybe this is every stray thought i corral and put into place and attempt to explain?

i think a lot of people stop at "i don't get it" and then shy away because either they think the art is bad or that they're stupid and they want nothing to do with either. but "i don't get it" should prompt exploration, it should prompt a search for explanation. not only in art, but in life. "i don't get it" in history, art, politics, science should always be the start of a journey, not a destination, but a lot of the most commonly consumed art accidentally trains people to reach "i don't get it" and give up

newman is so earnest with his work that i even if i hated every single one of his lines then i could still not help but love it

i do wish that instead of trying (and miserably failing) to restore who's afraid of red, yellow, and blue iii they had just let it hang, destroyed, all three slashes on prominent display

shakespeare's soliloquies were originally a type of call and response, because back in the day audiences were not as quiet and well behaved as they are today

the audience heckling the actors were no more authors than the guy who vandalized newman's work is an artist

however, that being said

who's afraid of red, yellow, and blue? this massive canvas of mostly red calls out

the response: three long slashes, rage and fury and fear in every one of them

claiming bravery, but proving cowardice

and it would have been better than letting some idiot go over it with a damn paint roller

[ren-rambles-often]

'Tale of Winter and Spring' another goyuu arranged marriage fic that might just become a fave despite some reservations of mine!!! Let me explain!!! (Rec Review and thoughts)

This review was so sweetly requested by the actual author and lovely mutual of mine @star2112 (really love their name for some reason). So with that context and their permission I'll be going a bit more in depth, and letting them know where I feel they could improve upon. I do keep in mind that many ao3 authors aren't from the pro writing background so I'll be super gentle.

But before we get to that I will give you a quick summary and listing out the fic's strong points (and there are a lot (✿ ♡‿♡)

CW for review and the story itself: there will be spoilers in this rev so if you want to read it before hearing my thoughts go ahead and follow the link in the title. The story involves mpreg, omegaverse and dub con.)

Tale of Winter and Spring is set in historical Japan as all good fics should be, where Yuuji is given away to Gojo by his older brother Sukuna. Thing is Yuuji is in love with next heir of the Zenin clan, Megumi and he's very, very, very unhappy with what's happening. Nevertheless he goes through it all with some very un-Yuuji like gloom )don't worry, we'll get to that). Its an ongoing fic so we don't know the end or which direction the plot itself is taking but for now there's a whole lot of intrigue and hints of Geto coming into the picture to ruin (or maybe not ruin) everything happening.

There's a handful of things that made this story a bit challenging to read but one of the many things I have to give props to is the development of the FushIta relationship side of Yuuji's story. I don't hate FushIta but it's one of many jjk ships that makes me grit my my teeth when it's not a side story in a goyuu ntr fic. So reading the development of their bond here… actually made me kick my feet a bit, is the author a FushIta shipper in disguise??? We'll never know ig ¯_(ツ)_/¯

There's the flashback scene where they're talking about books they read and after some banter Yuuji's like,

"hey megumi… in the future, let's go North, and see if those demons are real or not."

And I felt that, especially since Yuuji does end up going North (Gojo's Clan location if I remember correctly) but Megumi isn't there with him and it's much colder and lonely for him since he can't relate to Satoru at all.

Genuinely almost sobbed ಥ‿ಥ

Another thing I did enjoy was Sukuna's backstory and part of me really wanted more of it and him. It's said he got his hands dirty but I'd love to know what exactly this entails as it would really add more depth to the evilness of his character which is mostly told but not shown. It's easy to so say oh this character does evil things and imply that constantly but harder to display those evil things and show them doing the tragedies that solidify them in the reader's mind like 'yeah, this dude is the worst'. Example, Sukuna throughout the entirety of jjk lollll.

And there was an opportunity for the story to show one of such things which I'll get to in the critique part of this review.

I also really love the characterization which is very important you're making and alternate world. You don't always have to put characters in roles they'll fit but one thing I do like is when a they reflect that role with their canon personalities. And I know someone's already going "well fanon doesn't care about canon" which is fine and true but realistically many fanfic readers, myself included aren't into ooc content. What counts as ooc does vary from person to person tho, especially bc different people interpret characters differently.

Despite the various interpretations there is a common way a character is viewed and enjoyed, which is why, despite how much I enjoyed reading, there was something about Yuuji that constantly…called out to me.

I'm getting into the critique section now to talk about that. Where the writing shines in dialogue and interesting world building, it's kind of falls back in consistency.

Somewhere at the start, in the wedding scene, Utahime says they all have high expectations of Yuuji putting Gojo in his place with kind of indicates a firey kind of attitude but up until this point Yuuji has being quiet and avoidant and kind of continues to be until some of the later chapters. So it's weird she puts this responsibility on him when his character hasn't shown any signs of it. It's not one of more glaring instances but it's one that precedes a few others.

There's another part where Yuuji apologizes for speaking angrily, but Gojo says he doesn't have to because he knows he's the problem. Yuuji's internal thoughts proceed to view that as his apology being discarded which don't exactly make sense to me and ends up feeling like he's looking for reasons to be nitpicky at this point.

Character building isn't a huge problem but it's always the little things that manage add to the overall picture. There's a scene where Sukuna wants to take Yuuji to the Zenin clan and Wasuke doesn't want him to bc everyone thinks Sukuna wants to sell him off. Thing is Sukuna says he's not depraved enough to use an omega child like that but in my opinion it would have done his story and Yuuji's a greater service for him openly consider it and hold that over Yuuji's head for good behavior. He's evil, even if he'd actually never do it, evil people say evil shit.

With all this talk about characters it's time I finally expand on what really got to me and that would be Yuuji. My baby boy is literally all over the place. Yuuji canonically is a very social characters, eager to please and more ready than usual to give other's the benefit of a doubt. Here he's very quick to judge and overly guarded to me.

Now, I'm not saying has to overly friendly either but there's a balance that could struck with him not insulting or assuming things of Gojo constantly, and yeah the white haired bastard doesn't make it especially easy but one of Yuuji's admirable traits is his fortitude and patience with those around him.

Nevertheless, a part of me does think this was a stylistic choice to convey the disparity of Yuuji's behavior with his two love interests; Yuuji is only truly his best self with Megumi and the worst with Gojo. And understanding this, I was able to look past his behavior with the hope and interest of seeing both him and Gojo warm up to each other.

Also, did I mention it's still a mystery why Gojo asked for Yuuji's hand in marriage. Either that or it was mentioned that it's bc of his scent and I forgot (I've been through a lot this week forgive me (〒﹏〒)

My final critique is the writing structure and grammar. Grammar and writing are like 80% of a fic for me. If I don't vibe, no matter how interesting the concept I just might not read.

Thing is, I do vibe with Star2112's writing a lot, it simple yet beautiful in the way in which it conveys the emotions and moods of the story and characters. I enjoyed reading the scene where Yuuji freaks out cuz Gojo didn't spend the wedding night with him and now it may harm his reputation and Sukuna's. I enjoyed every FushIta interaction and I most definitely enjoyed when towards the ending of chapter 8, Yuuji allows Gojo to touch his belly and feel the baby while the Alpha spoke it (also Gojo wants to be a girl dad and that made me throw my phone across the room screaming cuz cuuuute (●♡∀♡)!!!!)

What I didn't enjoy was the structure of the sentences.

"Sentences work like this," Ren says. ✅

" Not like this, " They add. ❌

Figuring out how dialogue and quotations work are a big step for every author's writing journey, it's common not to know if you end with commas of full stops but for the most part, that doesn't really matter. Leave no spaces between the quoted sentence and the quotations marks and always start a new statement with a capital, doesn't matter if it was a continuation of what they were saying in a previous sentence.

Capital.

Grammar-wise, there were a lot of frequent errors but none to glaring and they could all be fixed with a more thorough read through. It can be pretty hard without a beta reader bestie but I believe you, there's so much talent for you not to give the best reading experience you're able to.

Overall, this is definitely a fic I would recommend to avid arranged marriage goyuu fans that love the DRAMA (and if you're like me who likes to read Megumi getting cucked, tho it's not exactly cheating here we'll manage ( ꈍᴗꈍ)💕

At the end of the day, a lot of this advice is partly objective, all authors are free to take what they feel they want to work on and leave the rest. Or leave it all because what matters about writing and fanfiction is that you enjoy what you do. Other's enjoying it is just a bonus/by product.

And to Star2112, you're doing so good, keep it up, I'm subbed and ready to see more, especially if I'll get to read goyuu raising their kid or kids, I'm a sucker for 'oop it's twins'. I'd also encourage you to read more books outside fanfic if you don't if you're still interested in dialogue and sentence structure. You have a strong voice and I think working on your weak points will really amplify that. I'm honored you came to me and hope I was able to help.

If anyone else wants to request, recommendations and reviews are kinda two different things. If you Recommend me a fic and I may or may not talk about it, depends. If you request I Review (for analysis and advice) a fic it has to be yours and you'll have to prove it to me. Depending on what you want I'll either write a post or just let you know my thoughts privately. DMs open so don't be shy.

Thanks for sticking to the end, go check out Star's work to get in on that action and happy Easter my precious freaks!!!

Ps: will edit this later, my brain is literally on fire, bye lovelies (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[fogisbeautiful]

📓

Oh no, oh god, it's happening, and from anon so I can't even cheat and see what you're interests are! Just know, you brought this on yourself...

I guess I'll talk about my Hazbin Hotel RadioApple fic that I tentatively titled "Hell's Greatest Show" before I realized it's probably never going to happen, because... well, let me just tell you.

So, I somehow came up with the premise of using the soundtrack for "The Greatest Showman" to write a Lucifer x Alastor fic, not following the plot of "The Greatest Showman" at all, mind you, JUST using the songs, completely out of context, as the musical numbers in a Hazbin Hotel fic set post-S1.

A plot began to form... only for me to realize that there were some beats missing in the plot that did not correspond to any musical numbers, and that just would not do. So I added the soundtrack for "La La Land" to the mix (again, COMPLETELY out of context, I literally have never even watched "La La Land", it could not be MORE out of context).

So now I have a fully formed soundtrack for a Lucifer x Alastor slow burn in Hell as everyone learns how to handle the fact that the Hazbin Hotel has suddenly become kind of a big deal. MEANWHILE, Emily and Sir Pentious are up in Heaven trying to convince the archangels (yes, Lucifer's siblings, no, he has no idea it's happening) to work with the Hazbin Hotel redemption plan. ALSO, Alastor's Deal suddenly becomes a plot point (No, Lilith is not involved, it's someone else, I think Lilith is boring, don't ask me why, I don't know).

And, in true-to-me fashion, I now have a sweeping epic of a fic planned out that I'm not confident I can pull off because it involves trying to convincingly write out dramatic musical numbers. I want this fic to exist SO FUCKING BAD, I cannot stop thinking about it, but the imposter syndrome is REAL, and I would love for someone to kick me in the pants and say they would ALSO love for this thing to exist so that maybe I will write it...

Anyway, here's the current order of the playlist on Spotify, and if anyone is interested, I can do a tracklist detailing which character is singing what song... please someone be interested, I'm dying here.

ASK GAME: Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.

[justwearthegoddamncardigan]

Classic

Minho x fem!reader

Set during tmr (movieverse)

Summary: reader works hard to become a Runner and prove herself, then she and Minho start to catch feelings (your typical Maze fic cause why not)

Notes: so. I did a thing. For context, this was initially part of my ace!reader fic, but getting them together took way too much time and the fic was so long. In the end I had to cut out the getting together part, and I made that into it's own original fic. End result: a classic Maze Runner only girl becomes a runner fic, hence the title

Warnings: none really, language (Glader slang)

You meet Minho the day after you arrive in the Glade.

As Newt brings you around on the regular job tour, you see Minho and Ben return from a morning run, and you're immediately intrigued.

"Hey Newt, what do they do? I thought we weren't supposed to go in the Maze."

"Right, that's who I forgot to talk about yesterday. Those are some of our Runners," explains Newt. "They go out every day to map the Maze and try to find a way out. It's a tough job, and while all of the jobs are vital, the Runners are some of the most important."

"How would I become one?" you ask, eyes still on the two boys disappearing into the Runners' hut.

"You wanna be a Runner? You'd have to talk to Minho, he's the Keeper."

You nod as Newt continues.

"And, being a Runner is hard work. You need to be strong; both mentally and physically, and think fast when you're in a tough spot. Bravery is key here, plus having your head screwed on right at all times."

He tilts his head. "That's not meant to be discouraging, just a reality check before you do anything. I mean, give it a try. Just ask Minho."

As you try out wood cutting, you think about the Runners. Being able to run every day exploring the Maze sounds great. Plus, avoiding the stares of tens of teenage boys would be a nice bonus.

You decide to talk to Minho, and end up knocking on the door of the Runners' hut that night.

"Come in," he calls.

"Hi," you say, a bit nervously, as you walk in.

Ben and Minho are poring over the map model, and they look up upon hearing your voice.

"Hey Greenie," greets Ben with a grin.

"Y/n," says Minho. Your heart warms at the fact that he's learnt your name despite how you only remembered it this morning.

"Are you here for something?" he asks.

You take a deep breath. "I want to be a Runner."

Ben immediately scoffs, which escalates into loud guffaws. Seriously; he guffaws.

"Ben," Minho calls sharply. "Go get dinner, I think we've finished mapping for today."

"No- hey, I didn't mean to be rude." He holds his hands up in a placating manner, still wearing a smile. "It's just- the Maze is..."

"Ben, just go."

You step back as he brushes past you to leave.

"Sorry 'bout that," says Minho shortly. "So, you think you can be a Runner?"

"Yes," you say steadily, putting Ben out of your mind.

"You know, most of my guys had to be chosen and forced to do this. No one volunteers to go into that Maze. Why do you want to do it?"

"I want to help find a way out, plus I'd like the running." You look him in the eyes. "And I think I can do it."

He looks at you, thinking for a second, then speaks up. "Okay. We'll try you out tomorrow. Meet at the Maze entrance just before it opens. Find a way to know when that is."

The next morning, you go into the Maze to start trials with Minho. He takes you on a run to start off, before instructing you to do sprints across a long straight path as well as sharp turns around corners.

By midday, you're completely drained, leaning on the walls and sipping water slowly as you stretch your tired legs.

"Okay, we'll just do one more run and then go back," says Minho.

He watches your reaction carefully. You're clearly exhausted, so he's surprised when you swiftly stick your water bottle back in the pack and stand, ready to run again.

"You sure you can do another?" Even Minho himself is pretty tired at this point.

"Yes," you respond emphatically, levelling his gaze and silently challenging him to tell you to take another break.

He gives one approving nod, then turns to start running again.

⭒----⭒

"Okay, debrief time."

You're exhausted and sweaty and ready to collapse, but you stand tall in the Runners' hut when you and Minho return.

"Your stamina is good. You've got enough to run the Maze. Your speed and agility are good too, which brings me to my next point. Newt's explained the Grievers, right?"

At your nod, he continues, talking about all the possible emergencies and situations in more detail.

"You got that?" he asks at the end. "You need to stay calm enough to recall the home route, or find another way if that's blocked. I've lost Runners to panic before, and I don't need any more of that stress. There's no real way to test this, so it's just a heads up for now."

You nod again. "Okay," you say.

"Good."

Within the next day, you're officially a Runner. You start training and becoming more experienced with time.

You come to genuinely love the job, which a lot of Runners don't feel. You love the consistent drumbeat of your feet on the stone, and how good the snacks taste during a break in the secluded walls of the Maze.

Granted, said Maze is still a massive jail trapping you and the rest of the Gladers in, but you can try to find positives among all of it.

You share your thoughts with Minho during break times. While training, you found that he wasn't really one to talk about himself, at least initially.

But, when you start talking about running and exploring, he starts to join in, passionately telling you about the little intricacies in the Maze, like how the wall changes are satisfyingly predictable once you've mapped enough.

"You know," he says one day. "The vines grow flowers sometimes."

"Really?" You and Minho are resting with your backs leaning against the walls, sipping water and eating the snacks.

"Yeah, just little plain white ones, and they don't stay long, but they're really nice while they're there."

"Hopefully we'll see them soon," you say, touching the vines next to you and imagining them covered in tiny flowers.

You also find out other things about him too; not just Maze details.

There are the simple things you catalogue and store away in your memory, like his love for blackberries and preference for cold showers (you let him know that the shower thing is psychopathic, especially in the chilly mornings).

There are also the more complicated things, deeper knowledge you pick up as you know him longer. Some days he'll start to feel hopeless and angry about the Maze, and you'll know to just sit with him on those days and let your presence be a quiet comfort.

You learn that you always want to make him smile and laugh, and find that he makes you do the same.

Overtime, your platonic affections evolve into wanting to spend every minute with him, and loving each minor detail about him, until you're not really sure when you started to fall for him.

You do however, have an exact moment when you realise your feelings.

It's a Greenie welcome night, with the bonfire blazing and people yelling excitedly over the sparring matches.

You're a little tipsy from Gally's drink, and you've managed to pull Minho away from the Runners' circle, where they usually just stand around sipping their drinks and brooding.

You usually join in with them, and it's nice most months, but tonight you're looking for something more fun, and you're feeling reckless and warm thanks to the alcohol.

You drag Minho by the hand to where Zart and a bunch of others are playing a drinking game. You lean on Minho, bending over with laughter as Clint stumbles and nearly falls over, while Jeff watches from the side, rolling his eyes.

"Let's play," you say, yanking Minho forward.

"Hang on, I don't usually drink a lot- hey, careful!" He groans, smiling fondly as you trip over Clint, who is now on the ground. Minho shakes his head and follows you as you walk over to the game, still clutching his hand tightly.

"Do a dare or take a drink!" announces Zart. "Y/n! Your turn. Take a drink or kiss Minho," he challenges.

"Hold up," interrupts Minho. "We're not playing this game. Shucking immature."

You give him a wide grin, and shuck, he's gonna think about that look forever. The firelight dancing on your face, one eyebrow slightly raised, and a wicked grin. Pull yourself together man, she just smiled at you.

You're unaware of his inner turmoil over your expression, and you lean in playfully before lifting his hand and brushing your lips over his knuckles gently.

You laugh as he starts spluttering incoherently, blush rising to his cheeks as he pulls away amidst the other boys' boos and unsatisfied calls of "that wasn't a proper kiss!"

You turn and respond, "You didn't say where!"

"Alright, you sneaky shank, this time you kiss him full on the lips or drink this." Zart hands you a mason jar filled almost to the brim with Gally's drink.

"Oh, you think I can't drink this?" you challenge, ignoring the kiss part. You're not about to embarrass a clearly flustered friend by kissing him, so you've got to drink.

You raise the glass like a toast before downing it fast, the alcohol burning as it slides down your throat.

You lift it high in victory as you finish, the other boys cheering raucously and the kiss forgotten.

After slamming the jar down dramatically, you stumble back and crash into Minho, still laughing as your back hits his chest.

You turn and grab his shirt to steady yourself, and as you look up you're suddenly face to face with him, your noses almost touching.

There's a pause as you both freeze, staring into each others' eyes.

Then Jeff bumps into you, attempting to handle Clint off the floor, and the moment breaks. You jump apart and laugh it off.

⭒----⭒

The next morning, your head pounds like there's a goddamn Maze door grinding open in it. And yeah, there is a Maze door grinding open, but luckily you're not on the morning run today.

The last night comes back to you as you wake up, and that's when you realise: you wanted to kiss Minho. Not for the other boys' stupid game, but in that moment you wanted a real kiss.

As you try to process this, everything floods through you. All the hours spent mapping the Maze when you were actually just trying to get more time with Minho, all the quiet chats about whether you'll ever really escape the Glade, all the inside jokes and quips traded during meals.

You like Minho; for real. Shuck.

⭒----⭒

When you meet Minho at the Maze entrance for the afternoon run, neither of you bring up the last night. Or at least, it's done in a casual way, never talking about the moment - if that was even real.

You revert back to your regular patterns as you run, ignoring your rapidly-becoming-more-dangerous crush. You're in Section 3, and you're taking a break when you start talking like usual.

"Hey," you say. "I never got to ask why you became a Runner."

"Oh." Minho looks down.

You wonder if the question was too personal, or if there's some traumatic story attached. You open you mouth to tell him he doesn't have to answer, but then he speaks.

"I was here pretty early; I'm one of the oldest Gladers, so we were really still trying to figure out the roles and making a whole... society.

"I ended up choosing to be a Runner cause I wanted to escape this place. I wanted to get us out. Fat load of good that did," he scoffs.

"Hey." You gently kick your leg out to nudge him, and he lifts his head to meet your smile.

"Anyway," he continues. "I just chose this cause I wanted to leave here. I hated the Maze, actually. But it's changed now. Maze and I have a love-hate relationship." He pats the walls of the Maze and you huff out a laugh.

"But I know that's not why you became a Runner," he says, raising an eyebrow.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean, you said that you wanted to help find a way out, but there was way more to it."

"Oh, do tell." You cross your arms and lift your chin.

"You wanted to prove yourself. Let's face it: first and only girl, you're gonna want to show that you can do a hard thing. You're gonna be so determined to show your strength that you jump at a job like this."

You frown at him outwardly, but inside you wonder how deeply Minho actually knows you. Has he really understood you that clearly from the start?

"I liked that about you," he tells you. "You had this fire, this spirit that I hadn't seen in many Greenies. You were so different to my other Runners.

"I still remember when you walked in. You looked me dead in the eye and said 'I can do it'. And here we are." He gestures between the two of you. You're leaning your backs on opposite walls, facing each other with your legs forming a V shape in the middle of the path.

"I'm glad I walked in that day," you say softly. "I wouldn't want any other job."

He lets out a small chuckle. "Yeah, me too. 'M glad you became a Runner."

There's a pause, then-

You're not sure who moves first, but soon you're pushing off the wall and meeting him in the middle as he captures your mouth in a hungry, passionate kiss, both of you grabbing desperately for each other.

Before you know it your first kiss becomes your first make out session, as you run your hands through his hair and feel yourself being pulled flush against him.

"This is stupid," he whispers between kisses. "I didn't even get to say my romantic speech."

"It was good enough for me," you say, smiling into the kiss.

Suddenly, you hear creaking as a wall close by starts to shift.

"Shuck." You pull away from each other. "That's not supposed to go until... 7 minutes before doors close."

"We gotta run."

Together you sprint back to the Glade, until the doors come into come into view.

The two of you slide in a the last second, rolling right onto the grass.

You can't help but laugh as the adrenaline from almost being trapped inside shoots through your system. Minho's grinning too as he extends an arm to pull you up.

"Bloody Christ, the two of you honestly." Newt stomps up to you, his expression thunderous. "You were meant to get back ages ago. You guys are never late! What happened?"

Your eyes automatically flick to Minho's.

"What, too busy making out to get back on time?" prods Newt.

"Well..."

"Shucking- agh. Never again. I thought we were gonna have to pull Y/n's crushed foot through or something. You were this close." He holds up his index finger and thumb.

He crosses his arms, then uncrosses them and heaves a long-suffering sigh. "I'm really happy for you two though," he says begrudgingly.

"Thanks," you say, taking Minho's hand and tugging him to the dinner tables.

Check Part 2 with reader coming out as ace and working everything out with Minho, which was the initial intention of this fic

But, if you're just interested in a sweet getting together story, there's no need to read part 2; they can be read as standalone fics.

Thanks for reading ❤

[inquisitor-runa]

you have to put more than "minor angst" as a trigger warning in your kidnapped chat fics 😭. People might think it's only a joke and get hut in the face with some heavy stuff!

Hi, anon!

I get your point, but a few things need to be cleared.

1) The theme is expressly written in the title. “You’ve been kidnapped”. Kidnap is hardly “only a joke”, so, if a person chooses to read it, they are aware that there are mentions of someone being held against their will, possible threats, etc.

2) There are no mentions of crack in the content. There is “swearing”, there is “slight mention of abuse” (if you read the texts, you’ll see it IS slight) and minor angst because the boys are worried for their partner. That’s it. No one is seriously injured, no one is killed and in every scenario it is implied that the reader will be released (except in Law’s, but still, no harm is done to the reader).

Absolutely nothing in this content leads to a joke, only Shanks BEFORE he realizes the person he is talking to is not his s/o. Once he does, he takes the subject very seriously.

3) Angst is very relative. What might be heavy to someone, is not heavy to other people.

4) Finally, I post here for fun. And I try to be as mindful as I can about triggering people, that’s why I usually don’t post angst, even minor. But if people take things out of context and imply that I’m triggering others, I’ll delete all my SMAUS and go back to never posting anything.

5) Please, don’t tell someone they HAVE to do something. It’s rude. You could always ask nicely, I promise, it doesn’t hurt one bit. :)

That’s it, everyone. People have all the freedom to comment whatever they want, but I also have the freedom to explain things from my point of view.

No hate, anon. It just upsets me a little when things are said without the proper context.

[pimento-playing-hopscotch]

Tag Game: 911 Lone Star Fandom Edition

Thank you for the tag, @chicgeekgirl89 @ladytessa74 💝

When did you first start watching Lone Star? Who or what introduced you to the show?

It was right about two years ago around this time of year, and the who would be Owen Strand himself, Mr. Rob Lowe. I was on Hulu and bored and saw this go by and thought well I've never met a Rob Lowe something that I didn't like, so what the hey.

I was not expecting to get this into it at ALL- like by the time the title card appeared for the first time I was like what is this show! (literally, I hadn't written anything in about 13 years, and I had no computer at the time, and there I was, scribbling down fic in my notebook like a child of the 80's lol).

Which season is your favorite?

For me it's a horserace between seasons one and four. Season one did so much with those ten episodes (why I have hopes season five can still be amazing with only twelve episodes) and season four for a couple reasons; one, season four fixed sooooooooo many of the mistakes they made in season three, and season four compared to season one is like them living their lives out loud.

Like that sad boy from New York who just wanted a way to bury his pain? He's getting married now!

That cop with zero work-life balance? Also getting married and has friends who adore him!

The trans firefighter worried he'll never date anyone he can be himself with- look at his relationship blooming now!!

It's just the best, season four.

Who is your favorite character? (Bonus: If you answered TK or Carlos, who is your favorite besides them?

Well, first pick would be my Tarlos boys, but I also do love me some Owen Strand. Yes he's flawed but there is so much good in him, and he's an amazing dad and captain when his character doesn't suffer from the show needing him to be the center of everything and the fact they can't land a decent romantic storyline for him (though I do know why that is lol).

Top Five Episodes - Go!

4x08 1x01 1x10 2x05 4x12

If you could pick any character to be given a "begins" episode, who would it be and what would that episode look like?

Carlos, cause I'd like to go just like a year before the show started - like it's been confirmed TK was his first real relationship but did he try to date? Did he ever hook up? Also I feel that because he is a good son that he wouldn't cut off his parents completely, but wouldn't see them until they asked, what was that like? Did he want to tell his mom about his life and feel like he couldn't? (note; this might be the most depressing begins episode ever - TK really burst in like the Kool-Aid man and color this boy's whole world).

Also Nancy, just because we don't get anything about her hardly - did she go to college? How long has she been with EMS? Did she have another captain before Michelle? All could use answers.

What is a scenario or storyline that you would like to see in season five?

TARLOS DOMESTIC MORNING SCENE PLEASE AND THANK YOU -

I want Carlos to be up early and trying to wake TK up gently. After TK says just a few more minutes four times, Carlos uses stern voice and tells him it's time to get up. TK still is hiding under the covers so Carlos puts those long fingers to use and tickles his husband right out of the bed.

Beyond that - for TK and Owen to have scenes together like they did in season four; for Owen's rich girlfriend to not be a thing anymore, for Robert's death not to cause any bad feelings between Strands, and for TK and Carlos to be on a team against their problem, not on opposite sides against each other.

Also Carlos picks TK up; in any context. I would love a Carlos puts his husband on his shoulder and carries him out of somewhere while he's protesting but would also accept in a romantic setting he picks TK up, or he picks a very sleepy TK up who wraps his legs around his husband and lays his head on his shoulder.

The still of a concerned Carlos on the phone and a despondent-looking TK behind him- what do you think is going on there?

I think a mean person told TK that Catan is stupid and TK got very upset about it and Carlos's phone call consists of "you made my baby sad? You picked a good day to die, son".

Juuuuuust kidding lol - no I think that Carlos has to do something dangerous (perhaps related to his father's murder, perhaps not) but it's known to be dangerous and TK is scared for him and begging isn't there anyone else? And Carlos gets the call confirming there's no one else; it needs to be Carlos.

We all know about the elusive spicy 5x05 scene that has been teased, so what is your prediction for how it could possibly top 1x02?

That is tough because they're still on network TV - I would say one or both of them are wet - possibly it is raining and they're at the famous Reyes ranch and Carlos takes TK in the barn.

Where was the Tarlos honeymoon in your mind?

(I may be stealing this) but I could see them going somewhere in Mexico - pretty but also not terribly far away, because of what happened but also because TK is very nervous about leaving their lizard child and is constantly texting his dad like what is Lou doing why haven't you sent me videos of him!!"

Shoutout to one of your favorite fan creations

The Little Monkey by @anewkindofme - my most reread fic and chock full of sweet TK and Owen feels. It is the ultimate comfort fic.

Where All This Love Comes From by @carlos-in-glasses - so much angst, so much heart, so much love, so much writing talent possessed by one person!

No pressure tagging - I tag @anewkindofme @nancys-braids @carlos-in-glasses @actualalligator @lemonlyman-dotcom @carlos-tk -tk @heartstringsduet and anyone else who wants to do it - open tag 🫶

[sweeteastart]

I know the titles sound profound and all, but there is also soup and now I wanna know about soup !

But also, Drawing circles intrigues me a lot !!

Ohhhh I put off responding to this ask for so long sorry i got really shy and got stuck in my head for a moment--

MORE IMPORTANTLY IM BACK

First of all !! Have some more Soup content !! 🍲

Soup

I still don't have any good writing for the boy but have a WIP oh him beint absolutely gorgeous as always. I already hear you say : who's that kid in his arms ? Welllll

THAT'S HIS DAUGHTER, LILA :D

Surprise ! Soup has a three year old daughter when he meets the Chain when he's 25 years old. I don't want to reveal quite yet who's the mother. What I'm gonna say is : Soup had an arranged marriage with some nobility in his very early twenties and had Lila soon after.

Currently, she isn't residing with either of her parents as Hyrule (the capital and the country) is dangerous for her to stay in. The kid lives with close friends of Soup from his adventurous years and he visits her as much as he can :D

Drawing Circles

The first writing centric WIP I was asked about ! I'm literally so excited but deathly afraid of sharing my writing in any capacity so be nice to me that's also the very first draft of one scene I'm sorry

!DISCLAIMER!

The TW in hashtags are about this fic !! Beware of that before reading that snippet please.

To put some context around that tid bit : The story revolved around a time loop where only Sky remembers the previous loops. In each one, an unknown entity seemed to pull the string and kill the chain one by one in a predefined pattern. Each time Sky is killed, he comes back to square one. By the time of this snippet, he has seen and experienced very nasty moments which is why mentally he isn't coping well !!

TLDR : Sky is getting his shit wrecked in a time loop where he sees and is killed again and again :)) (I love writing gut wrenching angst I'm sorry--)

Here comes nothing~

"The first sense he regained was always the same. Touch. The hero felt the rugged linen of his bedroll under his fingertips.

Second was smell. The deep scent of burning wood tinged his nose.

Third was hearing. Only the quiet songs of insects broke the all encompassing silence of the woods.

Fourth was taste. The lingering taste of blood and sour potion spread across his taste bud.

That… wasn’t normal.

He suddenly opened his eyes. Only a sky full to the brim with stars and trees shadows responded by its calm infinity to the man. Moved by a sudden surge of energy, he stood up straight as an arrow in his bed. Eyes still glued to the enigma that was the ink black sky.

It was night. The moon was smirking high in the sky but…. It never did before. It had always been day. Dawn. Five in the morning exactly. Always the same day at the exact same time.

His eyes fell back. Lost in a sea of confusion, the chosen one took a long time before understanding what was before him. Drenched in deep shadows was the campfire and…. all his brothers. Sitting. Here. Seemingly startled in the middle of a discussion. All his brothers.

He looked at Hyrule. The brown haired kid looked back at him with a weak smile. Just after this action he averted his eyes. Away from him. Straight to the dirt. Then the hero of the Sky saw a glint reflecting the light of the fire. Steel against the dark.

Immediately Sky looked around him in search of his own sword.

“Whoah ! Whoah !” tried Warriors with a rushed sword. Strangely his tone was soft yet worried. A worry Sky had never been on the receiving end of. “Don’t move so much ! Your wound might re-open !”

….. Wound ?

That’s only then he truly felt the burning, tremendous amount of pain his neck was in. It felt like a bag of bricks fell down on his shoulders. He slouched forwards, hands holding his neck.

Sky didn’t go back to day 1. Fi was nowhere near him. The sky was this treacherous black hue. Eyes glued to the grass enveloped in harsh shadows, he stayed dead silent.

He had been…. saved ?

“... Sky ?” The old man called to him. The chosen one didn't even register the word nor that he was the one it directed to.

He smiled. His brothers had saved him. His smile widened even more. They must have done everything in their power to bring him back. A snicker rolled higher and higher in his throat. Despite their efforts to save him, someone had taken hold of Fi. By now, a distorted, devoid of happiness, small laugh was breaching his lips. Twilight must have seen it. Tonitruous, painful fit of laughter took hold of all his body.

Oh… Kind and helpful brothers of his… who ended up afflicting such a tragic agony to the one they wanted to protect.

“Sky…”

A voice.

A voice was calling his name. He didn’t listen. He couldn’t listen. He was past comprehension and rationality. He couldn’t process anything else but unbound kindness and painful ignorance. Neither of which he could truly be mad at. So he clawned at the dirt by his bedroll. Like it had wronged him. Like it was the all encompassing reason for his pain. Like it was at fault for this endless hellish loop.

And he laughed. Laughed a deeply unhappy laugh. He did so with so much resolve. So much perseverance because for weeks he hadn’t been able to. Because after weeks of this never ending hell, there was no end in sight. A hell in which, even the sweet release of death was refused to him.

Arms held him away from battered and beating dirt that had the unluckiness of being by his side. A high-pitched noise escaped his mouth. He saw without seeing multiple people around him. Shapes and shadows stretching from the dim light of the campfire to the abyss of the night.

“I can’t do it anymore…” he croaked in between two giggles. By now it could barely be described as such. Maybe sobs would have been closer to the truth. Even then, it sounded barely human. Eternally doomed and animalistic. Hands cupped his face. Big and rugged. Heavy too. His eyes searched too long before falling on one single blue iris looking back to him. Not only worried. Scared. Panicked…. Knowing of a truth even he didn’t. Soon he saw his lips. They were moving but making no sounds. Or….were they ? Was it the lips that didn’t produce sounds or he who couldn’t hear them.

The fingers of the hands around his cheeks tensed. And he knew. Something in him knew it had been the latter. So he tried to concentrate. Over the physical and mental anguish and devastation of a failed restart.

“...ky…” he half-guessed, half-heard. “Foc… us … Me.”

Focus.

Focus me.

Focus on me.

And he did. He tried. His mind was a bottomless lake he couldn’t swim back up from. It was trying to drag him down. Down into the depths. He fought the grief. He fought off the need to close back his eyes and forget all about it.

“.. Me. “ it was pressing. “Please focus… Sky.” more words stuck to his brain. He needed time to understand them but they were starting to make sense."

AND THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW-- That little bit of text made me soooo anxious for days but it's not as awful as I remember--

I got so worked up for not much lmao I hope you weren't too jumpscared by the angst my dear friend lmao I've had the idea for this fic for quite some times so I'm happy to share it

Thanks for the ask ♪♪♪♪

[snek-panini]

It's been a few weeks since I had new books to share, but I finally got photos taken of the newest ones so today's the day. Here, have a book:

This is Across Tides and Currents, a Good Omens siren AU by Sodium_Azide and @doorwaytoparadise (hi. I hope I tagged you right). My favorite thing about this AU is that, at its heart, it's about learning to communicate with someone who is so different from you that you can't even physically speak each other's language, and yet you've still got so much common ground that you find a way. It's way lighter and more fun than that description makes it sound, though, so go read it if that's your thing.

The cover on this is Lineco book cloth, scrapbook paper printed to look like leather, and blue foil htv. The foil was actually a nightmare to do. The first time I applied it, it wouldn't stick no matter what I did, and the bits that did stick peeled off as soon as I touched them. I had to peel them up very carefully, cut a new image, and try again. Thankfully it worked the second time but I don't know that I'll be using the foil type again unless there's no other way to get the color I want. The non-foil metallic was so much easier to work with.

More book photos under the cut!

I went with a coptic bind for this one for a few reasons. The first was that I wanted to try one on a quarto-size book to see if I could. I also wanted to try the mitered corners thing I did when I bound Strange Moons, and see if I could have the same effect on the interior. (That bit didn't work out so well; the front is fine but I mismeasured the inside and the lines didn't match up, so I trimmed some pieces of cardstock to cover that up. I really like the layered look though, so that's fine. It's quirky.) The third reason is that not long before I decided to bind this one, the authors published a new chapter after two years of no updates. That's the best possible reason to have to change plans, and the glueless bind means that if they ever do that again I can just redo the stitching to add more pages. Win-win.

Getting whimsical with title pages here. This took way longer than I thought it would, probably because I don't like graphic design and I did it in Word where I do the rest of my typesetting. Usually what I do is grab an image and put text around it or on top of it and then just play with fonts and sizes, but this time I drew the lines and then made the text follow them. This is the first time I've used the word art feature since...probably 2009? I'd forgotten how. I have no doubt there are better ways to do this but if I'd had to learn a new program at that point I'd have quit. And I do think it was worth it--it's cute and fun and looks about how I imagined it.

Couple of photos of the inside. Sorry the first one's blurry, I had someone trying to get my attention when I took these. The section break image came from rawpixel, I just made it gray instead of black so it's more subtle. The fic has very nice illustrations that I specifically got the artist's permission to print and then I failed to get any photos of them when I did my little photo shoot. They look very nice, though. I swear.

The last image is something I've started including in my latest books. I'm calling them "A Note from the Bookbinder" and it's basically just me talking about why I chose that story, the experience of reading it for the first time, stuff that's going on in the fandom, stuff about the process like the new chapter coming out as I was preparing to print. It's kind of...like marginalia? Part of fanbinding is preservation and that's linked to archival work, and something I know archivists love is marginalia and diaries. I don't like writing in my books and I've never found any fun in journaling, but sometimes that kind of context is important so I'm trying to add it. Someday, decades from now, I may not remember all the details, so I'm trying to preserve them. IDK, this got philosophical on me. Go read about mermaids now. Promise it's a good time.

[alfgifu]

Fic analysis 18. Obedient to the touch

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49146799/chapters/124000540

Word count: 14,302 (co-written throughout with toffeecape and iniquiticity)

Chapters: 3

First posted: 6th August 2023

Last chapter up: 8th August 2023

Summary: 

My body ached, just a little, with the aftershock of touch, in the best possible way. I should not have - you should not have let me - it was consistent with your dignity as Emperor to take a consort, but I had never wanted -

You had; I had; we had. Too late, now, for regrets.

How and why this came about

At some point early in August 2023 I barrelled into an 18+ channel on a discord server and commented that it had all been very sweet and gentle there lately, and what about that ‘forced fucking in front of the Ouranatha’ scenario we had all been considering a month or so before?

I had an ulterior motive. I had, since that earlier conversation, been rotating the concept. I had a gdoc started and had sketched out a bit of plot, but I was a bit unsure about it. After all, I had only just written my first smut content (the first ‘eventual smut’ Tenebra chapter) and I knew I had a fair amount to learn. I wanted to write something different, but I felt a bit unsure about it.

I dropped some elements of what I was thinking about into the chat and to my delight it sparked a dramatic flurry of conversation, with many different people pitching in to make the scenario worse or more intense in various ways. I don’t really remember the whole conversation (which went on for days) and I’ve long since left the relevant server, but after a lot of sharing ideas the chat turned into a collaborative livefic.

It was both daunting and thrilling to be passing the conversation back and forth so fluidly with two writers I admired. This part also went on for days with each of us pitching in on our schedule to take the story further. It was a learning experience for me in a whole host of different ways - the technical side of writing sex, language for a whole host of things I’d never really thought about, the dynamics of an intense physical relationship involving an ace (if sex-positive ace) character, and the etiquette of working with others in a public environment.

It was also entirely fun from beginning to end. The great thing about doing this collaboratively and over several days was that we could each contribute as we had time and space and ideas. Once we reached the end of the scenario, I asked my co-authors if they minded if we stitched what we had written together into something that could be shared on AO3. Neither toffeecape nor iniquiticity felt the same drive to publish as I did but they kindly supported the endeavour (my brain finds it difficult to put things down until they’re ‘finished’ and its criteria for ‘finished’ can be squirrelly - with fanfic it almost always means publishing on AO3).

What worked and what didn’t

It was surprisingly easy to turn the free-flowing plotting and porn into coherent, structured plot and porn. The livefic naturally broke into three sections (another friend who collected them assigned headings that we were kindly allowed to borrow as the chapter titles - “The crimes”, “The smut”, “The purest of smut”). 

This was an example of a successful ‘just tidying up the livefic’. Most of the first chapter was sketched out relatively loosely in the chat so I wrote it up, trying to keep to the minimum necessary context. The other parts were almost entirely drafted in the original chat so it was just a matter of stringing them together, adding a few joining sentences here and there, and fixing up typos and grammar and so on. The three of us worked edited it up together in a shared gdoc and made a few tweaks/ironed out details as we went. It was a remarkably pleasant process.

What I learned from writing it

Writing with toffeecape and iniquiticity was a masterclass in itself. They are both so excellent and each have a distinct and compelling writing style, but somehow it gelled really well. The fun physicality and total absorption of toffeecape’s writing flowed naturally into the deep, intense and deeply tender way that iniquiticity writes and vice versa. I can still pick out a few parts and remember who contributed them in the chat, but it’s honestly difficult at this stage. I do know I would never have been able to write something this raw and immediate and immense without them.

The collaborative fic went in a very different direction from the original idea that I’d been thinking through, although quite a lot of the crimes scenarios sketched out in the chat before we started liveficcing did relate to and build from the idea. I revisited it a little while later to write my first solo smut fic (which, surprise surprise, mostly turned out to be politics - though I did get to the smut eventually). I would never have managed that without the lift-off I got from Obedient.

I stumbled somewhat clumsily into the mechanics of working together online. It took me a ridiculous amount of time to figure out how to set up a group chat in discord (or even that such a thing was possible) so I did a lot of scurrying back and forth between chats with my fellow authors repeating their words to one another. I have no idea what they made of this XD.

This was also when I set up a dedicated google account for fanfic, since my personal account mixed my online name with my offline name a little too freely. It’s come in handy since then to have a separate space where I keep my writing, both for sharing and for keeping things in boxes (I do find it satisfying to have things in their boxes).

Writing Obedient unlocked a great deal for me, both in terms of technical skill and in terms of confidence. After this I definitely felt ready to explore more nsfw territory. Achievement: degenerate pornographer

[im-not-a-l0ser]

The Michie Playlist

Happy Valenties Yall. You may have seen my post about making a Michie Playlist. This is my review of songs already on it, originating from @wildrottingworms michie playlist. Barring Granger Danger (because they told me to) and adding another song, because it fits with another.

Here's the playlist on youtube if you want to follow along, and here it is on Spotify.

Nerdy Prudes Must Die: This is, for me, just on there for the sake that it is literally the song they share. That is the only reason it's on here. Also why it's the first song on here.

Take Me Back: This, however, I have no idea why it's on here! Nevermind, secret relationship michie; I'm an idiot. Okay, yeah, I think I can see it. Especially with them having regrets about keeping it a secret. Like, I'm listening to Tom's verse right now and it's like "oh, Max,, maybe you should've just openly loved Richie back thennn." Becky's verse now, okay. I see it a little less. I like the idea of 'i remember something someone asked me back in school,' being Max saying something like "if we could, would you go to prom with me," because of the following line; I think that's cute. Weirdly enough, I think this'll stay.

First Date/Last Night: Yes, I love this for them. Very cute, very nice. Derek Klena's character for max; perfect.

Blast From the Past: So, uh. I skipped this at first. Because I did not like it. This is the last song of these I've listened to because I am/was putting it off. But here we go i guess. Okay, it's not that bad. It kind of reminds me of Will Wood. But it also makes me realise that the musical Zombie Prom isn't the same as the Wizards of Waverly Place Episode, it seems to be about a single zombie who goes to prom. Which I guess makes sense. I'm keeping it, but it's like. That's all I got from it mostly.

Stupid With Love: So I technically added it, because the reprise was on it, I think it's a little silly to have on here, because I don't think Cady is much like Richie, but I think I'm keeping it for purely after (s)he meets Aron. Like, I've literally put that quote where Cady is essentially fantasising about him in tags about Richie and Max; feels wrong to not include it.

Stupid With Love Reprise: So, listening to it makes me nervous because I haven't actually watched all o Mean Girls the Musical, but it's fine. We're gonna do it anyway. Oh, wait, there's a BMC animatic of this, I've seen this, I'm stupid. Okay. I see why the og put it on here. It is very cute, I love it. I don't know enough about factorials to know if that's actually what you're supposed to do with them, and if it's not then it's hilarious. If it is, then it's like... well, I guess PJ did a good job tutoring Max.

Be Nice To Me: I like this song generally speaking, I never thought of it for Max and Richie, but I'm kind of into it. Like, I might do song fics with some of the songs from this playlist, and this is definitely a high high contender.

Two Birds: Thanks og, you mother fucker. I'm sad now. Luckily, I've already thought of them during this song so I can just skip it.... unluckily, it's already started playing and I can't turn it off now. Thems the rules.

Sex with a Ghost: I don't know why this is on there. It's obviously more of a Jagertity song, but I'm still going to listen to it with their context to see if I can figure it out. Okay, listening. I don't get it. I'll probably keep it because it fucking slaps, but i do not understand why it's on a michie playlist. The only thing I could see is like. 'The only time I ever see her is when she's behind me in the mirror," Because Richie dies in the locker room. But I dunno.

Daft Pretty Boys: I've never heard this song before, so. Right off the bat though, I'm dissapointed that it's not gay. The title makes it sound so gay, but immediately with the she/her pronouns. Maybe I should pull up the Genius Analysis so I can understand better, because I'm just confused. Okay, after checking Genius, I think I understand. I will be keeping it.

Beachboy: Another song I've listened to before, I'm excited to listen to it under Michie context. Like, I could type the lyrics along if I wanted to, I love this song. Yes, this is amazing. Aside from the fact that it's, again, straight, it's absolutely great.

Bloom: We begin the ones where I'm going to have to look up the english translations to these songs. Which I'm fine with, I've listened to all the BSD character songs. It's actually pretty fun to follow along, which is why I'm linking english translations through te name titles, which is why some of the have underlines and others don't. Anyway. HEY SORRY TO BUT IN! APPARENTLY THIS WAS IN SCOTT PILGRIM TAKES OFF! I LOVE SCOTT PILGRIM! ANYWAY BACK TO IT! Okay, upon reading the lyrics, I will say, it makes perfect sense that it was written for Scott Pilgrim, also that I rememer hearing it and taking note of what it was called because I liked it. Basically, on a surface level, it's like 'id like you no matter how many times you change your hair' but I think beneath that, as an overthinker, it's about loving someone even as they're going through changes in their life.

Necromantic: As much as it hurts to face the reality, I am glad that there are some songs on here that represent a realistic relationship for them, and this is definitely one of them. I think I would do a poor job on describing it, just look up the lyrics, you'll see.

Sihouette: Okay, reading the lyrics was a little harder bc I'm listening at home, and my family just got back home from Astronomy Club, so just bare with me. I think it's good, I think we'll be keeping it; I like it I think.

Kuchizuke Diamond: Oh I immediately love the vibes of this. I like this song so much for them that I didn't follow along with the lyrics, I read ahead; I love this. It's so cute for them.

Kawaikute gomen: I'm back and forth whether this applies to them, but it's funny enough that I don't even care. Like Stupid With Love and such. I definitely feel it for them, I just can't explain why.

Zenzenzense: This reminds me of Sonic. Not a bad thing, just a thing. I definitely love this song. It's "Now that we've finally met at galaxies' end, i don't know how to hold your hand so that I don't break it" that got me.

Nandemonaiya: Okay yeah. This got me at Verse 1

Kick Back: Oh my, I'm like flustered reading this. Definitely keeping it for them. Works for whichever pov imo.

Death By Glamour: I do not know why this is here, but as an undertale fan, I'm lowkey here for tho.

Uwa!! So Temperate: Again, I don't know why this is here. But it's like 45 seconds, it's whatever.

Murder On The Dancefloor

You & I: Any song from Bare is gonna make me sad, so I might take them off purely for that reason. But I need someone to cosplay Max with me so we can do a long form tiktok to this song. I'm willing to be Max, actually, yeah.

Best Kept Secret: Any song from Bare is gonna make me sad, so I might take them off purely for that reason. But I need someone to cosplay Max with me so we can do a long form tiktok to this song. I'm willing to be Max, actually, yeah.

This is where the song diverges into songs I've added! To continue, go to the post explaining why I've added those songs! To skip those songs, go to the post about songs that were suggested!