#just unfollowed someone for rbing a post saying this

[seraphume]

insane opinion to think that pedophiles and rapists can be rehabilitated. kill yourself actually

[ilostyou]

tbh im currently screaming my LUNGS out laughing

[chloeangelic]

addressing the drama (with receipts)

I wanted to have my ducks in a row before speaking out instead of just responding; I’m not doing this to change anyone’s opinions - it’s really not possible change someone’s perception of me even if it’s based on falsehoods - but I need to do this so I know I’ve said and shown what needs to be shown, and people can do with it what they please. 

To the readers and writers who have blocked me, unfollowed me, and mutuals who have stopped talking to me over this - I’m really, really sad you didn’t come to me first and give me the opportunity to explain what was going on. I understand if you wanted to distance yourself from drama but I also need you to understand that this was not discourse-drama I willingly got myself into. This was a month of frequent harassment and slander that eventually turned into bullying by a group of people using false info, hiding behind side blogs and anons, and I hoped it would blow over but it never seemed to stop. With anons turned off for most of the last two months, people have gone to my friends’ inboxes instead to harass them about me (and insult them in the process), and I can’t do this anymore.

I feel so alienated and disliked in this community that I can’t go on the dash without feeling like I shouldn’t interact with anyone out of fear that they’ll get uncomfortable seeing me in their notifs. People keep saying they want the community to get better and then they jump on the bandwagon of vague posting and RBing without taking a second to verify the claims, clearly not realizing how much hurt it causes to perpetuate it. If you’re reading this, I  hope your name isn't the next one they pull out of the hat when they want someone new to push off the platform. 

Explanations, timelines and receipts below. 

-

For anyone waiting for an explanation regarding the posts and anons about me that have circulated for weeks, or waiting for receipts proving or disproving that I’m a mean girl who spends my time talking shit, here you go. I am so beyond hurt, I don’t even know what to say. I’m floored, I’m so disappointed in this community and I’m so sad. In the last two weeks, I stayed up until 4am one night receiving screenshots of posts and anons about me, I cried, I tried to understand why this has happened to me, and I have sat here day after day with no answers. 

If you think I’m being melodramatic, try losing a quarter of your mutuals and having a bunch of people block you when you’ve had either no interaction with them or they’ve all been positive, and see how that feels, on top of constant rumors about you being a terrible person when you know you’ve barely had any negative interactions with anyone on the platform. I can’t be on tumblr any longer without exonerating myself and putting it out there that all of this has been one gigantic mess based on lies about me, seemingly compounded by grievances people have against Gracie (some one whose personal conversations have nothing to do with me). Either I do this, or I log out forever and only post on ao3, cause I feel like the fucking grim reaper here. Posts about me being an awful person are still circulating, despite the original post being deleted and the follow up stating that the OP has talked to me and they have apologized.

I’m not naming names in this. I will be using person A/B/C/D to make it less confusing. I’ve removed identifying information from the screenshots because even though I’m hurt by these people, I know that they will get dogpiled and harassed if I identify them, and I want it all to stop. Several have apologized to me and I have accepted. 

Sometime in December, rumors started circulating that there was a “big/elite writers discord” where they talked shit about small writers (I’m not in any discords specifically for writers and I have never heard of such a server). At about the same time, person A - someone who was very active in my own, now-deleted discord server, started frequently vagueposting about me, calling me a mean girl and, intentionally or not, made it seem like I was part of this “elite group of writers”. This is someone who I have never had a negative interaction with and who seemingly out of nowhere decided that I call myself elite and I’m a terrible person. 

Person B had some grievances with myself, Iris, and Gracie it seemed, so they went to person C and accused us of talking shit in our voice chats. I assume person A and B have talked about me at some point and validated each other’s claims, but I can't know that for sure. Person B messaged me from a burner account and apologized, then seemingly deleted the account after I responded.

Gracie frequently posted about us three chatting, and although I understand this might have felt alienating to some, many writers are open about having group chats with each other. All we did was write, edit, and Gracie sometimes made memes. We talked about non-fic stuff often, and when Gracie had an issue with other writers and she was upset, we talked about it. That’s what friends do. She knows that I believe those situations were handled poorly. One of those situations came to light recently - I had a very pleasant conversation with the writer involved, and we are still in touch.

I have spoken to person C, who posted the most “popular” smear post about me and some of my friends. They retracted their statements and profusely apologized to us, admitting it was based on stuff they heard from person B, showing me screenshots of the conversation. However, their original posts are still circulating through reblogs despite being deleted from their account. 

Person D also posted about me and my friends, however their post was sort of ridiculous, accusing me of spending more time replying to anons than writing. I found this funny, but the way they slut shamed my friend was absolutely not humorous, and dragging a random writer in to criticize them was a strange attempt at adding fuel to the fire. 

-

And for the receipts, 

I blocked person A after seeing a handful of vague posts clearly about me, and after they interacted with every single rude anon posted about me that I saw. I think that’s reasonable, no? I’m not gonna post screenshots of their posts cause I honestly just don’t want to look at them again, they make me feel kind of sick if I'm honest, but if anyone doesn’t believe me, they are welcome to DM me and I will send. 

Person B messaged me, admitted to partaking in this mess, and apologized. This is part of a LONG message:

Person C apologized over message and called me on discord. We had a conversation clearing things up, they deleted their posts and wrote a public apology. 

If you need any proof that person B’s claims were, in fact, baseless, look at this exchange between person B and person C after person C had cleared things up with me.

Person D honestly just creeps me out, cause what the fuck is this? Fine if you don’t like me based on my writing or my persona on here but… Why the witch hunt? 

ETA: Person C asked person D to take down their post and they never responded. This was sent prior to that, I know the full context, I just thought this specific part was worth sharing to show how vile some people allow themselves to be behind burner accounts.

What kind of behavior is this? This was from a sideblog, and I don't know what their main account is. It creeps me the fuck out knowing this person is lurking somewhere in the community.

I have hated every moment of this. None of this has been fun for me. This has completely fucked up my motivation to write and my enjoyment of it, it has made me anxious, it has messed with my self esteem, and it has made me want to log out of Tumblr and not come back. 

Please, I beg, if you have an issue with me, just come to me and I promise I will have a conversation with you. You can’t tell people’s tone over anon and I don’t think that’s a good way to have a conversation, especially one about something that should be solved in private, so they remain off, but my DM’s are open. 

I'm so sick of seeing vagueposts and trying to decipher if they're about me. Having to do that a bunch of times messes with your head.

I'm not sure what to do moving forward, but I needed to say my piece. I don't want to talk about this again, I want to put this behind me. I seriously hope this doesn't wreck my last remaining want to share my writing on here.

Thanks again to everywhere who has supported me in my DMs and comments, you mean the world to me 🤍🤍🤍 And if you found yourself duped by all this but change your opinion on me now or eventually, I won't hold a grudge, and I'm happy to speak again and pick up where we left off.

[lamonnaie]

thanks for the tag @sollucets i loved reading ur answers !!! 🫶🫶 i've been a little ia lately + busy with irl things but i'm slowly trying to work through the backlog of tag games 😅

1. why did you choose your url?

it's from the french words "la monnaie," which basically means small change. i found the word amusing when i first learnt it a while ago and i've been using it as a username practically everywhere ever since :]

2. any sideblogs? name them and why you have them

technically no? i set up the ao3 feed for the dangerous romance tag on a sideblog pretty much just for my own convenience, but that doesn't rlly count lol

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i've been lurking on tumblr since ~2015, when you could actually use the website pretty functionally even without an account, but i only made this account in 2020.

4. do you have a queue tag?

i do! it's just "q" (although it's empty right now because i haven't been on much 😩😩)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i finally made a tumblr account after 5 yrs of lurking because of this one niche movie that had somewhat of a fandom on here and i wanted to interact lol

6. why did you choose your icon?

because fairy lights !! they're pretty :))

(i use this icon everywhere as well as my url, i think i've only ever changed it once on here)

7. why did you choose your header?

i had to go back and check my blog because i genuinely didn't remember what my header was 😭😭 but it's just a cute gif off of google that i picked coz i liked it :)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

apparently this post about akkayan and raysand??? guess that answers the shitposts question as well LMAO

9. how many mutuals do you have?

quite a few !! is there any way of actually finding out the number? i have no clue, but if someone follows me i tend to check out their blog and if we have similar interests i'll follow back :] that being said, probably around 30-ish who i've actually interacted with beyond mutual liking and rbing hehe

10. how many followers do you have?

382!

11. how many people do you follow?

486 - definitely need to do a clean out tho because i follow a lot of random blogs from interests long gone by

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

yes lol

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

it depends honestly, sometimes several times a day for several hours (😭), other times i'll go a day or two without opening it <//3

14. have you had a fight/argument with another blog?

nah, if i don't agree with something i'll just unfollow and/or block

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

very unnecessary, i get that there's good intention behind it but it's honestly just annoying to see and will actively make me not reblog it 😭 (or at the very least i'll go back and rb a version without the addition)

16. do you like tag games?

HELL YEAH, i love yapping about things 🥰🥰

17. do you like ask games?

yesss they're so much fun !!!! (that being said, my askbox is so wonky that it never saves my posts as i'm writing and then it'll randomly crash and i just the ask altogether????)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

hmm i have no concept of tumblr famousness but just looking through my moots there's quite a few who i feel are pretty well known???

that being said, gonna give a shoutout to dee @distant-screaming who is the most famous person ever to me because i love love love their fics so much 😭😭😭 like have i ever fully watched nlmg? nope. do i still constantly go back and read her palmnueng fics? absolutely.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no i wouldn't say so :) i admire a lot of people on here and i love all my mutuals <33 (but in a platonic way hehe)

20. tags?

i feel like people have done this already (so no pressure + pls tag me in ur post if u've already done it !!) but tagging @dramalets @distant-screaming @winnysatang @hellswolfie @blackstar-gazer <33

[thew0rsethingsgettheharderifight]

wish there was an easy way to say like "i'm unfollowing you, not for any personal reason, I just don't care for anything you've been rbing"

without it sounding like I give a shit about trying to police what/how someone else posts lol I don't

[swordcats]

follow people! :) we rely heavily on our dashboards which are built through the people we follow, which is why we consider reblogging so important because the only stuff that appears on the dash is the stuff that those we followed reblogged. its not often ill find memes or news in, say, fandom tags, but if i follow people from said fandom then they'll put it on the dash for me by rbing it from the people they follow. its unfortunately quite different from reddit as i guess you build a subreddit for yourself? but its a system that works quite well once you follow enough people

to find people to follow just start in the tags and follow randomers who have posted some fanart or a meme or whatever, then follow the people they've reblogged from, maybe the op of some of the posts they've rbed, etc etc etc. and, importantly, if someone you follow does end up posting stuff you dont enjoy, you can absolutely unfollow or even block them if you fancy. tumblr embraces the block button wholeheartedly. ive blocked someone because i didnt like the colour scheme of their blog. its a totally normal and expected practice here!

this all being said, some tips for the tags themselves because they are used and browsed, just not as often

sometimes you'll find that some communities do have certain tags for certain kinds of discussions. if you do find a post you're particuarly interested in, try checking the tags of the post just to see

if you're not wanting to see fanart, try blacklisting the word 'fanart', even if its just temporary. it'll help you sift through

you can also change the post types to text in the search function if you want to avoid fanart

thats all ive got. feel free to ask anything else and i hope this helped! :) good luck!

Reddit refugee here. I have an 11 year old account but I don’t want to interact with the site, at the very least until the API and pricing details are changed.

but how do you use tumblr in a similar way? i wanna find memes like you’d get on r/196 or news on niche/rapidly updating topics? like i get that it had to do with tags but i can’t seem to get much more than fan art when i search for specific topics or info that’s older. am i just using the site wrong?

also only using the app rn so idk if it’s super different on desktop

[moonguilt]

lol turns out chlowstix likes sheith. wow

tbh the only thing i could find to indicate this was one single retweet on a twitter post which was for art that didn’t even look like ship art. like, if u didn’t read the tag you’d probably think it was just broganes. i could see myself liking/rting cute art and failing to read the caption in full. not that i even really give two shits about ship discourse in 2020 anyway but still, i like to give people the benefit of the doubt

[muraenide]

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

the salty af munday meme

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

I wouldn’t consider them instant unfollows but I will unfollow in time due to constant untagged and uncut posts, and people who treat their tumblr blogs like a personal by regularly rbing posts that are unrelated to their muse or the fandom. I feel like whenever I unfollow someone, they tend to be the main reason 🤔 Idk if I should list them on my rules now that I think about it. 

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

Oh man I have so many. I usually keep quiet about a pet peeve and just quietly unfollow but they’re so repetitive. 

People who treat join the rpc to advocate for social justice and hardly rps confuse me? I’m here like aren’t you in the wrong space? Man, just go somewhere else. Some posts are fine, like the ones addressing things properly and are actually informative but there also some that are really aggressive that makes you feel like you’re a bad person for not knowing and that you have to follow the ‘rules’ they established or you are <inserts some label> that make me want to stay 10 feet away. Imo there are no rules in the rp space. You either agree with someone or you don’t, which in that case just don’t interact with each other.

Oversharing. (Is that even the right word...) I have a high bar when it comes to oversharing, since I do enjoy knowing a bit about the personal lives of rpers/muns I’ve come to see as friends. But in my previous fandom you see a handful of blogs who goes like ‘BE WARNED I’M VERY UNHINGED AND UNPREDICTABLE, YOU WON’T WANT ME AS A ENEMY’ in large, bolded text. Like Okay...? Thanks for the info I guess I won’t be following then. Whatever they mean in that sentence. It’s just a lot of uncomfy the OOC way.  >> Pls chill this is just a writing community.

This is just a minor thing but I can’t stand it >< When muns IM me with an emoji or kaoemoji or a single word like “hi” as a greeting. Again, like... ?? What are you expecting me to reply to that? Another emoji? Pls just say what you want to say. It’s worse when they do it every single day. I met a lot of people like that back in Facebook, but Tumblr is better by a little, I think.

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

I remember the times when I tend to be the youngest in any fandom space and enjoyed being the baby but now I’m usually the oldest or definitely-not-the-youngest and sobs.... Times have changed. 

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

I find this fandom very chill! It’s hard to believe my blog is only 3 months old but I’m enjoying my time here so far. Most of the people who had me blocked at least knew how to block and don’t send hate or anything. Idk what’s going on in other corners of the fandom but I’ve learned to not care so much about what other people think of me. If you want to badmouth my blog or about something I do then whatever makes you happy, I guess! As long as I can’t see it and it’s not so high profile to the point of someone telling me ‘hey this blog is spreading lies about you’ then it’s not my problem. 

Tbh even if you’re the nicest person on earth, at least one person who has met you is going to secretly think that you’re just doing it for attention. The difference is whether they don’t share their thought with people, or they share it with their close friends group, or they broadcast it on their blog, but it happens. Like they say, haters is just going to hate.

[leftsidebonfire]

To a point I can see where this is coming from, but I do have to say, when I first joined the Self Ship community, i didn't know these unspoken ""rules"" to it, so I RBed someone's post about Polnareff. It was something really simple and nothing, kinda like a "I wanna hug and kiss him" sort of thing.

So I added on, RBing like "me too!!! I love him so much!!"

And then the OP got all passive aggressive on their page like "stop adding onto my gushing" and being all nasty about it so it's like.

Yall. Just. Ugh. It annoyed me so bad, too, especially because I was hoping for some kind of happy gushing together about the same character we adore, maybe a new friend, but I basically instantly unfollowed that person for being a dick about it.

I will never have an issue sharing f/o’s with anyone.

This doesn’t mean I appreciate my gushing about my selfship dynamics being tagged with someone else’s selfship with the character though. I can’t completely articulate why but I’m going to try anyway:

I feel like each person has their own very specific and even niche dynamics they’ve created with a narrative with their f/o’s and for some it’s extremely personal! So it feels rude as fuck all to take something like that and apply it to your own selfship without permission even if you share the same f/o.

It feels very much like:

And I ain’t here for that on my personal selfship blog. Make your own post if you want to talk about your selfship instead of yoinking someone else’s gushing and trying to scribble their name off of it to replace it with your own.

I think it should be obvious the difference between someone gushing about their ship vs a standard horny post about the character. Namely when using personal pronouns (‘I’ instead of ‘you’) and possessive terms for the character (‘my boy/babgirl/etc’) are being used. Also when you see a gushed tagged with the op’s ship name too! Just makes you even more of an asshole to take it for yourself.

All this to say that anyone who tries this with my personal gushes in the future is going to be blocked plain and simple. Top Risotto on your own time and with your own ideas okay thanks.

[oceanmonsters]

I guess this is technically a callout post but none of this is new stuff, it’s stuff that’s already featured on my blog that I’m just collating together and explaining. I am not doing this to try and stir up drama or expose this person or bring them down or whatever. I’m just tired of myself and other poc getting told we’re overreacting or deluded or reaching when we call someone out on their shit and so I wanted to make an actual record of the reasons why I am against this person that I & others can can direct people to rather than having to repeatedly explain ourselves. If you read this and still decide that we’re wrong and overreacting then feel free to unfollow/block me.

@/ayeforscotland brands himself as a progressive left leaning “woke” person but fundamentally the thing he really cares about most is Scottish independence, and he weaponises progressive causes to support his own agenda. He has a long history of downplaying racism in Scotland and Scotland’s own imperialist history. He has somewhat changed after being called out for doing these things on several occasions but instead of recognising that he was wrong in the past and only changed his tune when people called him out, he lies and pretends that he never tried to whitewash Scotland at all even when there is obvious evidence to the contrary. (I don’t have more specific sources on his downplaying racism in Scotland/whitewashing it’s colonial history but poc on here have been talking about it for a while so if anyone has any links please lmk!)

While he reblogs antiracist posts and publicly denounces racism, he also seems to only care about racism when it furthers his own arguments. While I don’t have receipts for every single post, I’ve seen multiple occurrences of him trying to link racism to being pro-England/anti Scottish independence. As well as the previous post linked in which he he posted a video of white supremacists but made it all about how terrible the English are (while ignoring similar occurrences in Scotland) here is another example of the type of post I mean (warning for antiblackness) - making posts in the BLM tag literally trivialising racism and treating it as a joke to dunk on the unionists. It is really disgusting for a white person to be weaponising the racism of people who don’t agree with them to garner support for their own cause. While I think AFS may genuinely believe himself to be antiracist, he is clearly very performative and that he ultimately only truly cares about his main agenda of Scottish independence and is happy to use the experiences & suffering of English and Scottish POC as a tool to push his own agenda.

He is also incredibly disrespectful towards POC who call him out for the above. In this same thread linked earlier, he repeatedly tone polices after being called out (for purposefully inciting people to be racist on his posts/in his inbox so he can “expose them”, which is obviously disgusting in itself).

As well as the tone policing, in that thread he also gives a perfect example of being performative and not actually caring about racism: he basically expects that instead of calling him out when he does something wrong, we as poc should be expected to have a constructive chat with him and walk him through what he should and shouldn’t say. He says that he’s “happy to have a chat with [her] and learn about how [he] can improve in the future”. How gracious of him to be “happy to” have her to spend her time and energy walk-in him through how not to be racist in a perfectly friendly deferential way 🙄. He’s not willing to do any of the labour to actually learn or read about racism himself (if he was, he would know that inciting racists to spew hate speech and sharing it on his blog is not good allyship, and neither is expecting poc to personally educate you), he just expects poc to calmly educate him every time he messes up so he can learn not to do that same thing again, while never actually engaging with his own role in racism. My post here goes further into this topic. Furthermore, he has since blocked both me and @pakisstani for calling him out for his racism in all of the linked threads. Blocking the POC who repeatedly call you out for racism is really not a good look for a self-proclaimed ally.

AFS would no doubt profusely deny that he is a racist person. However, his actions and words in the threads linked WERE racist and until he takes responsibility for them and makes any effort to educate himself he has absolutely no business building up a platform marketing himself as progressive ally. If you’re a white person who still supports him after seeing all this then I don’t trust you any more than I trust him.

(+ bonus: this post isn’t racist but it is an ignorant and weird perspective, implying that people labelling themselves as from the UK/British because of the negative connotations are somehow shirking the blame of colonialism and responsible for enabling white supremacists to claim the label of English (completely ignoring the fact that there are plenty of poc living in England who do not want to claim the label for obvious reasons...). Maybe not particularly relevant to this post but I feel like it helps paint the picture as a whole.)

ETA: some things from others rbing this post, obviously I don’t have sources for these things but I have also seen similar occurrences and they fit into the attitude I’ve seen from AFS in the past (before he got called out and then pretended he never did those things).

Adding some screenshots for posterity in case links go down (all screenshots are from posts linked here)

[vampireqrow-moved]

hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual

im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!

in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not  sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?

if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.

why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔

why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!

basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.

a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.

many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.

how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.

if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.

if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.

a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.

prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.

why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.

just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.

i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.

again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf

[lesbianologist]

i just want to say this again because i am still extremely triggered by that last slew of messages by the person who was too cowardly to actually message me off of anonymous and even too cowardly to apologize off anon. i don’t know what you think when you come to my blog but my blog isn’t a group therapy place. it isn’t your safe space — it’s mine. i explicitly state in my bio and my byf: no minors. i also go through extensive efforts bts to weed these people out of my following list. but me talking about my attraction to older women as a lesbian isn’t being a pedophilia and the fact that you thought that it was okay to come onto my blog and shamed me for my attraction to older women which is partly due to trauma is really fucked up. not to mention you insisted i was taking part in pedophilia by rbing a vague post about age gaps. i don’t control other peoples blogs and i don’t control other peoples actions and it’s fucking fucked up for you to insinuate that i do. if someone else is a pedophile: it is not my responsibility to bring justice or stop them. i can do what i can by removing minors from following me and making my stances clear, but it’s beyond fucked up for you to come onto my safe space and my blog where i interact with friends and others and trigger me and retraumatize me by insinuating i’m exactly the type of monster who attacked me and amplified my already existing cptsd/issues. this is my blog. if you don’t like what i post, the unfollow button is fucking free.

[glitteronadumpsterfire]

okay sorry to add another person to the pile of people bothering you about pansexuality but like. i appreciate that you're overall supporting of pansexual people, really, i do /gen but also reblogging a post that goes "had to unfollow someone bc they were pan here's why you're identity is wrong and you're a nasty biphobe transphobe" is... as the hip youth says "not a good look".

I was rbing it mostly bc of the links bc they're actually useful and I was pissed at the time too so I probably spewed some venom as well that I don't actually think so I debated with myself wether to delete it or not, like I think it's necessary to keep it just for the full context of the situation (i think deleting it would seem like I want to hide my mistakes too) but yeah I actually agree with you op was pretty nasty about it

[ofieugogyshz]

This is kind of a long post, and it's probably not necessary. But I like to believe in messages that some of my dreams bring me, and I hope it doesn't hurt to respond to this one. The point probably goes without saying, as I'd like to believe that it would have come up and been addressed by now, but...

I had a dream that someone was starting to have issues with my posts, explaining that I was exhibiting signs of some things that were apparently bad, and that I might want to be careful of that in the future.

I don't remember much of the specific words they used anymore. They were words/things I had never heard of before, though the last one was like, femme-something? I know it was a url/icon from someone who followed me here, i still remember what the icon looked like, and a vague sense of the url, and that they posted on an unsigned anon first before rbing to explain, based off how I had responded to it

Which was, mostly, confusion and asking them to explain, bc I had never heard of the things they were warning me of, and I got as far as their first answer before I woke up. I really did want to get thru the entire post of explanation, but the first one was long. It was a list of examples*, including screenshots of the posts, but what I synthesized from it (or figured on how to solve it) was that I was @'ing them too much? For things not related to their f/o or personal interest. (I have yet to actually tag this person irl for anything, I think, based off icon/url, so I was very confused in-dream and still irl, but I'm making this post just in case someone is getting concerned with my posting style**) and i gleaned that it was possibly giving them anxiety to be included in posts that I was @'ing them in, which were like, posts where I talked about/answered questions or things people and I did, and used them and others as examples by @ . that they didn't like the attention it brought to them.

(*actually i do remember one example: them using my response to their anon on my friend's blog, of which i was defensive towards bc my friend had mixed feelings on that anon (which was asked in genuine good intention, it turned out!), but regardless.

**Another ex included (excessive?) use of gifs and "how it doesn't make doing these things okay!" Which.... Confusion still??)

-

So I ask, kindly, genuinely, if anyone is having issue with me and how I may be responding to you or including you in something, to please come talk to me off-anon, preferably thru messenger so we don't have to make it a debacle. (Or you can do the unfollow/block thing if you want to avoid confrontation altogether, if that's something you've been thinking about.) From my understanding, there's enough public issues in the community, and I would rather not cause more than needs to be. This invite for conversation goes for all time, not just right now.

Alternatively, this dream came after I took my antidepressant, which somehow, ironically, always manages to give me terrible dreams if I fall asleep right after taking it. It's kind of hilarious, in that dry, almost-morbid, ironic humor sort of way.

But I genuinely do mean to talk to me if you don't like how I'm @'ing or referring or talking to you. I'll make a note to stop, and adjust it however you prefer, if at all.

If you've read this all the way through, thank you and I hope you and your f/os have a wonderful day.

[privateerings]

warning/callout

hi friends, this isnt my cup of tea but im here to slam dunk some news on this star trek/star wars/sci fi user that is real and Doing Bad Things. I’m afraid for other rpers out there who might get sucked into thinking that this person is trustworthy when she needs to be avoided.

tl;dr: Yasmin, also known as snowinabottle is a scammer. She tricked me into buying a “commission” from her and refuses to refund my money and have a proper conversation, all the while roleplaying, rbing memes, and reposting images for her muse like she didn’t just scam me. Here is the conversation x and x in full. x and x are, idk, other “receipts” if you will. She is currently asking her followers for money again and it is just driving me insane that I have to watch her do this again while she won’t give back money that is WRONGFULLY hers.

im angry that this happened to me, that someone really did this to me, but im even angrier i have to waste my morning documenting and writing this post! there’s a million things id rather be doing right now. but i want the RPC to be aware of her and NOT support anything she does because she is a liar and a thief! deets under the cut

07/14/2017 - I reached out to her on Tumblr IM about her commissions because I wanted to commission her. This is the commission post. This is an image of the post. At the time I wasn’t aware that you legally(?) aren’t supposed to do icon commissions but I am aware of that fact now and have no interest in commissioning anyone to do icons again. That’s my bad. We’d been mutuals for a couple of months and she was always positive and polite so I assumed I could trust her with a commission of 10 €. I figured, whatever, no big deal. And I’m helping someone out who needs the money! I’ve been there! Cons are expensive!

07/15/2017 - So, after a minor bump in the road (due to my bumbling with technology) i was able to send the money she asked for the next day. Then. “Incidentially” i guess, she stopped being easy to get a hold of. I didn’t hear anything back from her. Her blog seemingly goes dark too, not posting anything for quite some time. I didn’t think too much initially like a dumbass.

08/12/2017 - Almost a month later I decide to reach out to her because I’m getting nervous about the thing. I hadn’t had any messages since I paid. 08/18/2017 she tells me “ So sorry ! I was on holiday the last few weeks, traveling around and had barely any internet !” Okay. I don’t know where any of that came from and it’s not professional to not communicate such things to your client but I left it alone and asked what the time frame is for me getting the icons I commissioned. No answer. 

08/29/2017 - I don’t want the icons anymore. I just want my money back at this point. She’s online and rping with people on my dash. I know she’s not doing them because whatever, she has my money at this point. I asked for a refund. Over the course of 4 days I sent her i think 2? asks saying i wanted a refund and they were ignored. I can’t show photos of those because they were sent on mobile and there’s no outbox for that. She was still rping on my dash. The 4th day she says “Sure i can , please no stress ! I'm slow with replies ATM since work has started again and it's quite stressfull ! I need your PayPal dates or PayPal.me for refunding”. I’m livid that she would even say excuses like that when I watched her do her roleplay replies on my dashboard as well as repost people’s photography for the aesthetic, CLEARLY she had the time to respond for weeks and simply chose not to. But I don’t say anything back. I just send the paypal.me invoice, a simple few clicks to send me my 10ish dollars back. That was on 9/2/2017. I’m still waiting. I’m still watching her post replies to her roleplay partners. I still see her talking about AUs.

And then I get hit with a BOMBSHELL. She’s asking for money again!--->(image)This time it’s not a commission page but she still offers to do things in exchange for donations because of some sob story with her boyfriend that may or may not exist. I’m sure she won’t. Her followers are reblogging it for publicity, and she IS getting donations. I’m disgusted. I was so angry I felt sick. I still have no money refunded from her. And she’s just going along all happy-go-lucky like nothing happened. I shouldn’t have to continue sending asks or IMs to get her to OPEN A LINK AND CLICK A BUTTON in front of her face. I can’t stop people from donating. I can’t stop her from doing what she is doing. She is probably never going to give me the refund for the commission I never got fulfilled. So if that’s the way it has to be, then I’m gonna light this user up as much as possible because I’ve got NOTHING to lose. PLEASE DON’T support her because she is a scammer and who knows who else she has done this to? It’s not hard to give back someone’s money when they ask for it! Unfollow her, block her, whatever just know that she is bad news.

[muraenide]

��♥♢⚜☀☢❀❥♒❣ drops these and rubs my hands like that one evil raccon gif, spill the tea <3

the salty af munday meme

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

Answered here!

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

Getting to know someone, who shall not be named, blocked me and my friends and then they make a post accusing us for numerous things that I didn’t even know we did, and then threatened all their mutuals that if they interacted with us they’d be blocked 😃 

It’s all because of a ship they didn’t like. It was also my second day on that blog and I’ve legit have no idea what’s going on. It originated from this other mutual who is also shipping that ship and generally follows everyone, so when people saw that ship they started the whole witch hunt. I was sleeping at that time and when I woke up the dash turned to hell. Had to ask my friend what’s going on and turned out it was because of that ship (IM me for details!)

Apparently the same person also made an excel with all our urls + other people we don’t know and shared it around so everyone can block us. I only found out about that excel (and the whole story) through another mutual only like 6 months later and by that time I don’t care much anymore. You can call me whatever <inserts problematic label> and I’d say OK, you are absolutely right, have a nice day! 

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?

I don’t mind not practicing reblog karma as long as someone isn’t like, rbing 10 posts off my blog at once. But that’s different from feeling like you’re outright being used as a resource blog, which in case I would just sb. So far no one has rb anything much from me though, but that might be because I don’t rb much either 🙈 It also depends on the meme... When it’s just a headcanon/munday/opinion meme then there’s no reason not to send any. If it’s IC memes then it’s understandable that you might not find one of the options that is fitting for your muse and theirs, so its ok not to send any.

⚜ How many people do you not like?

A lot. 😭 And since I hold grudges I tend to remember them forever. I usually just avoid them though. If they’ve done something toxic or evil to other people then I’ll most likely have them blocked. But if I don’t like them for petty reasons that’s just a personal thing, I don’t block them, I simply don’t interact with them.

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

I’m running out of pet peeves that I’m willing to put on the dash 😂 Okay this only happened to me twice here, but I find it annoying when you put so much of effort into writing a long reply and your rp partner does not appreciate it. It makes me not want to write longer replies anymore and just half-assed something until we’ve established something more solid so we can be sure both sides are invested.

When you’ve been mutuals for a long time and there’s no signs of interest or interaction. I understand that people can be busy but neither of us are mind readers. An occasional like on posts or an ask or an ooc post to show that interest is still present is nice sometimes.

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

The karma is a b1tch trend. I feel like this typically occurs with villain muses. Your muse did something bad in canon so you’re supposed to feel guilty to mine now and feel sorry and has to immediately redeem yourself! I think that’s not fair in rp, especially when we have plotted nothing, my muse hasn’t done anything to yours yet but your muse is demanding retribution without giving mine a chance or, like, ask the mun for an opinion?

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

asjkdhas A lot of things. I feel like I can list them down forever. I don’t consider it losing my chill, but I can get carried away with topics I have a lot of opinions on, since I hardly write anything too personal on tumblr and/or anywhere else, so that’s not losing my chill but sometimes I forget that I’m talking to someone and keeps going on and on. I should fix that about myself 😭

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

>> ....... Yes. (IM for details). 

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

Answered here!

❣ How salty are you feeling right now?

From a scale of 1 - 10, 5 😂 If I’m not tired than maybe 8.