#just to know what's going on on dathomir at the time

[jewishcissiekj]

I should be asleep but I have too many Ventress thoughts so listen

Been writing Asajj fics over the last few days and I have like so many feelings about it The way she's devoted to Dooku, the way she's always the last survivor, the way she never gives up, never dies is soooo There's smth very interesting about her self-image the way I view it, from Ky's hopeful Jedi Padawan (Asajj) to the person that slaughters his murderers to a servant of Dooku, his apprentice and a Sith assassin (Ventress) to the Nightsister to the bounty hunter to whatever the fuck Dark Disciple was to my thoughts about her (Asajj) I'm currently insane about shit I made up (Jedi AU, the Lattz Razzi/Asajj fic I'm currently writing, the wip of a painful walkthrough of her relation to Ky and the force) and it's inhabiting my brain in such a way I need a totj ep for asajj so bad

[gffa]

TALES OF THE EMPIRE wound up being a mixed bag for me, there was a lot I enjoyed but there was a lot that just felt really unfulfilled. Morgan's episodes were very pretty to look at but I couldn't help thinking--the entire time I was watching, even--that Filoni's not great at creating new characters that can carry entire episodes like this, none of this felt particularly necessary or like it was fulfilling a void that I wanted to know more about. It doesn't help that I still think her arc in live action was badly handled, that if she was meant to be a Nightsister from the beginning, her first episode should have dealt with that, instead of springing it on us later, so when filling in the background of her on Dathomir in TOTE, it brings all that up for me again.

Morgan's first episode was so pretty and it was interesting to potentially get more Dathomir lore (even if it's incredibly thin and I felt it was too close to the "we see others suffering in the galaxy, but we don't want to get our own hands dirty by fighting for other people or getting involved in helping others, btw we're morally better for that :)" trope for me personally) but everything on Corvus just felt superfluous to me and I spent time trying to figure out why I felt that way. If they had done her story this way or that way, would I have enjoyed it more? If they had included this or that, would I have thought it more necessary?

And ultimately I just kept coming back to that I don't really care about Morgan Elsbeth enough that I wanted three animated shorts dedicated to her, when I could have had so many other characters get fleshed out better. I appreciated that they were showing two characters on opposite journeys, that Morgan was falling into the dark step by step, while Barriss was slowly clawing her way out of it, but that's about all that I appreciated of Morgan's story (other than the beautiful animation).

But I'm not sure I feel like Morgan's motivations were all that well planned out. It's clear that she's looking for revenge and trying to find a new family at the same time, but it's not really clear why she's working with the Empire or how she thinks this leads her to her goals. Grievous is the one who murdered her village, how does working with the Empire (as the Separatists were folded into the Empire, too) achieve that goal? Who or what is her revenge focused on? Is it that she just wants the whole galaxy to burn, because if her village burned, so should everyone else? I feel like that's probably what they were going for, but that it could have been more coherently written.

Barriss' episodes hit a lot harder, where I'm glad that she at least got an arc, but I feel like it just missed so many marks, like why even have Vader there, I'm all for gratuitous Anakin cameos, he's my trash can man and I'm always excited to see him, but absolutely nothing was done with him, despite that he was looking Barriss right in the face there. Not even a moment of showing the audience, "Oh, his soul is so far into the dark of fear, hate, and rage that he doesn't even care about her anymore." Just nothing there, like there was no connection at all. How do you go to the lengths of putting Vader in a scene with Barriss and then treat it like there's no history between her and Anakin??? So completely unsatisfying!

And then it's another series where other guest appearances would have made sense--Barriss has a whole unfinished story with Ahsoka and you don't include her here? I'm as tired of Filoni putting Ahsoka in everything as anyone else, but here it would have made sense and would have brought that relationship full circle on-screen, Barriss' betrayal of her and her clawing her way back to the light after all the trauma and hurt, there's so much she and Ahsoka would have between them. And then nothing.

Or Barriss' relationship with Luminara, TCW never really got into how that must have felt for Luminara, to have her student betray the Jedi so profoundly, for her to fall to the dark, there's such a well of potential there and it's just entirely ignored. She mentions Luminara once and it was a lovely mention, but there's no sense of resolution or completion to that arc.

I did enjoy her story with Lyn and I try not to compare what the show wanted to do with what I wanted the show to do, but I couldn't help it. During all those scenes, all I could think was that this could have been so much more powerful and complete if it had focus on Barriss' established relationships and characters I already care about, because a new random Inquisitor is just not going to hold the same weight for me as my pre-investment in Ahsoka and Luminara. (On the other hand, with the way they butchered Luminara in the last season of TCW, maybe I dodged a bullet!)

For all that negativity, though, I really loved that Barriss found herself in being a healer again, that she found the light again. That's all I've wanted for my girl!!!! (That and put a headdress on her, ffs.) I legitimately took in a hard breath when she said, "Then you have one more Jedi to deal with." because Barriss is still working through too much to fully come back to clarity re: the Jedi at that point , but when it really came down to it, when she really saw what the dark side really was, part of her still was a Jedi. And the way she spoke of her time as a Jedi, once she had a clearer, lighter head again, was sweet, I was so surprised that we got that much from her, but I'm so glad because, if nothing else, Barriss herself deserves to be in the light again.

The way she was settled into her own skin by the time she confronted Lyn on the icy planet, the way she genuinely wanted to help her, but wouldn't let her hurt innocent children, the way she could sidestep Lyn's predictable moves and could stop the blade with just a hand held out, she found her path and what she wanted to do, and oh it was so lovely to see Barriss finding herself again. I loved so much that her unshakable compassion did reach Lyn, it was such a satisfying arc for Barriss to reach that place after all the people she'd hurt. I loved so much that Barriss getting back to this place does a lot to remind us that her foundation is a compassionate one, even if she was lost to the dark for awhile.

I just wish that there had been acknowledgement of those she hurt, the people that died because of her, the betrayal she stabbed people in the back with, rather than just "sees the dark side is bad, walks away, finds the light again", which goes back to that this feels like a generic story that's mostly impactful because I'm filling in the gaps myself because I already know Barriss as a character, rather than that it continues the story that was previously told about her.

At the end of the day, I enjoyed it and I recognize that I'm being a little unfair in how I'm saying I wanted this, this, and this, rather than digesting what the show itself wanted to do, but when you're crafting two stories that are specifically about showing us the journey of two characters that originate elsewhere, you're drawing on the stories from those other origins--except TOTE decided to only halfway do that. There's a lot to love in these shorts, the animation was incredible, the voice work was incredible, Barriss' emotional journey was incredible and I'm so thankful that they even gave her any kind of compassionate resolution. But the specter of how much the shorts ignored hangs over it too heavily for me to say that they were anywhere near what they could have been imo.

[goosewriting]

Of bunk beds and confessions

summary: when there’s a new crew member on the Mantis, reader feels discouraged to confess to Cal.

relationship: Cal Kestis x GN reader

warnings: slight spoilers for Jedi Fallen Order, dw it has a happy ending uvu

word count: 2.8k

A/N: recently finished JFO (finally! lol) and i have A Lot Of Feelings so, here you go

prompt used: hesitant kisses, but when they part one whispers "do it again. please."(source, by @urfriendlywriter)

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

You’re waiting on the Mantis with Cere and Greez for Cal to get back with the Astrium. You’re currently on Dathomir, and you’re not entirely sure what he had to do to get the thing, but he comm’d you some minutes ago saying he’s on his way back to you.

You stand at the top of the ship’s ramp, trying to see if you can see him somewhere. You’ve been worried out of your mind when he would send you short and clipped messages, telling you he had to fight some mysterious but apparently very powerful traveller he met on this planet. The whole place gave you the creeps; with the Nightsisters gone and all, it just felt like a hollow, haunted memory of a civilization. 

Despite everything being tinted red, from the rocky formations all the way up to the sky, your eyes catch a familiar flash of copper hair. Your head turns and you look out to Cal, who’s about to reach the ship. Only then do you finally allow yourself to breathe properly again. 

The thought crosses your mind that, with how worried you are when Cal’s gone, not knowing if it’s the last time you’ll see him when you wish the Force to be by his side as he leaves for several hours, only to come back all beat up… Maybe you should finally tell him how you feel. It’s a selfish thought, but you’re not sure how much longer your heart can take this. 

Turning back inside, you shake your head and try to calm the pounding against your ribcage. The important thing is that he’s back, he’s alive. 

“Cal’s back!” you call to the rest of the crew, and everyone gathers around the dinner table just as Cal walks up the ramp to the Mantis.

“You found it!” Cere says when she sees the small, black item in Cal’s hand, who’s showcasing it.

Suddenly, there’s a flurry of green and black behind him as a person appears out of thin air.

“Whoa, who’s this?” Greez asks, pointing to the stranger. 

As you take in her appearance, you kinda freeze: it’s a Nightsister. BD beeps excitedly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the pilot asks the droid, still unsure about her presence on his ship.

“It means I’ll be joining you,” she says, with an accent and with confidence. You look at Cal, hoping for him to intervene, but instead, he looks excited. Cal points to each of you, introducing you all by name to the newcomer.

“And this is Merrin,” Cal finishes, pointing to her.

“Wha–” Greez looks up at him just as shocked as you are. “She’s a witch, isn’t she?”

“A Nightsister,” Merrin corrects him. “Your fear is unnecessary.”

“I couldn’t have gotten the Astrium without her,” Cal explains. “We fought Malicos together. I trust her.”

Those words hit you like a bag of bricks. He trusts her. They fought together. She must be a skilled warrior, then. Meanwhile you’re just… you. And next to her, it doesn’t feel like enough. 

“And we trust you,” Cere retorts with a smile directed at Cal, then turns serious as she looks at Merrin. “You will have to earn it.” 

“Fine, grab some seat,” Greez mutters under his breath as he makes his way to the cockpit. “As long as she doesn’t do anything funny.”

“Welcome aboard,” Cere finally says to Merrin and follows Greez to the front of the ship. 

Cal looks after them for a second, then turns to the new crew member.

“They like you,” he remarks, and looks at you as if waiting for you to add something, but you’ve long averted your eyes from him. 

The image of Cal looking at Merrin is now burned in your retinas. Doubt and jealousy spread within you, so you leave for the back of the ship, missing Merrin’s questioning gaze on you. 

Greez sets course for Zeffo to bring the Astrium to the temple and finally, hopefully get the Holocron. You wonder what will happen after that. Is the crew gonna split up? You sure hope not; you don’t really have anywhere else to go.

You didn’t join the Mantis team much earlier than Cal did, so this was your first time you were on the move with Jedis, and if you were being honest, you liked it. Most of it, at least. You liked the sense of adventure, sure. The constant worry about a certain redhead, not so much. And yet you can’t get enough of him and his boyish smile as he apologises for the scratches and bruises you nurse back to health. You’re sure that you’d follow him to the end of the Galaxy if he asked you to. 

But that probably isn’t gonna happen, not if you correctly read how Cal and Merrin exchanged looks throughout the evening when eating dinner. Merrin asked for her steak rare, and you felt that with every jab of her fork into the meat (which to you was way too red), she was looking in your direction. You really weren’t in the mood to confront the newcomer, especially when Cal and even BD seemed so thrilled to have her here, so you tried to ignore her most of the day. Which probably wasn’t the most polite thing to do, but there were other things on your mind.

When the time came to sleep, the crew had to make a few changes. The Mantis has four separate rooms with two bunks each, and until you figure out something better, Cal volunteered to bunk with Greez so Merrin could have her own room.

Now lying in your bed at night, you think back to how you almost didn’t get to talk at all with Cal since he arrived with the Astrium today, despite how worried you were. Just like every other time he’s gone ever since this race for the Holocron started.

As the medic of the crew you’ve had to patch up Cal several times, often giving him a piece of your mind, given how badly injured he came back sometimes. You don’t consider him to be reckless though, in fact you saw how competent he is first-hand when he defended you from an Inquisitor. But still you can’t help the knot in your throat and the tightening in your chest that only loosen up when you see him coming back to the Mantis in one piece. 

And just like every time he came back, today too he sat on the chair as you cleaned up his wounds. Usually you two would chat while you work, but today you had refrained from saying too much, scared that the conversation would shift to the new crew member, and as such giving away how you felt about her. Not that you disliked her (you still hadn’t dealt with Merrin enough to get an idea of the person she was), but her being seemingly close to Cal had put a significant dent in your confidence. Your plans of confessing your feelings to him were now thrown into the bin and you felt silly for ever thinking you had a chance to begin with.

You sigh to yourself in your bunk, pulling the blanket up to your chin and waiting for the ship’s constant hums of hyperspace to lull you to sleep. But at the speed your mind is racing, you doubt sleep will come your way any time soon.

Just as you’re considering doing some reading instead of sleeping in an attempt to tire yourself out, there’s a knock at your door.

Your breath hitches and you tense up. The first person that comes to mind is Merrin; what if she’s here to tell you off or something? To confront you about your attitude at dinner? Or worse, what if she’s here to… hurt you? 

No wait, that’s ridiculous. Shaking away your thoughts, you clear your throat.

“Come in,” you call to the person on the other side.

Much to your surprise, when the door slides open, it’s Cal standing there. A shirtless Cal to be exact, only wearing sweats. He's holding BD in his arms and quickly comes in, closing the door behind him, and approaches you to sit on the edge of your bed.

“I did not know a body so small could snore so loudly” he remarks and yawns. 

Even though you've seen Cal without his shirt plenty of times when patching him up, you can feel the heat prickling your cheeks. You really hope he can’t see how you're eyeing him up, no matter how much you try to tear away your gaze.

“Can I… sleep here tonight?” he asks, and your heart skips a beat. You internally reprimand yourself for that as he’s obviously asking about the bunk above you, not about sharing your bed. 

“Of course,” you reply, hoping your voice doesn’t betray you. 

He thanks you and climbs onto the bed. BD beeps something you don't understand, and Cal answers in quiet whispers you can't really hear.

Some minutes pass by, and you have to remind yourself to breathe. Now there is for sure no way you'll fall asleep, great. You plan on waiting for him to pass out so you can pull out your book, but Cal keeps shifting back and forth, seemingly unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in. 

“Can’t sleep?” you ask after some time, and he sighs deeply.

“Sorry, I'm probably shaking the whole thing,” he says with a sheepish chuckle.

“Wanna sleep down here?” you find yourself proposing, and mentally facepalm yourself. What you meant to say was “Want to switch places?”, but now you made it sound like you're inviting him to sleep in your bed with you. Not that you'd have anything against it, but he's probably taken aback by it–

His fiery hair hangs from his head as he’s peeking down over the edge of the bunk to look at you.

“Really?” he asks, and you can't tell if the tone of his voice is teasing or hopeful. He probably understood what you meant about switching places, right? And that's what he means to do?  

You merely nod your head with an affirmative hum, and Cal’s face disappears so he can properly climb down. He comes to stand beside the bed just as you're sitting up to get out. You're about to throw your legs over the edge when he places a knee next to you, and you freeze.

“Scoot over” he instructs, and you follow. He lifts the blanket and slides under.

You turn on your side with your back to him, trying to shuffle all the way to the wall so he has enough space. Instead you feel yourself being pulled back as Cal hugs you from behind and brings you into his chest, tangling his legs with yours. BD joins the nap pile as well and settles at the end of the bed.

“Is this okay?” he asks, tightening his hold around your waist ever so slightly, and you're still too stunned to speak, so once again you merely nod, and he heaves a deep sigh, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

“Is this okay for you though?” you suddenly blurt out. He lifts his head at the question.

“What do you mean?”

“I thought… you and Merrin…” you say and immediately regret it, forcing yourself to shut up. You should have just kept silent and enjoyed this moment. 

“What about her?” Cal asks, the arm at your waist pulling you over to lie on your back while he props himself on his elbow to look down at you.

You don’t answer immediately, unsure of what to say. You fidget with the hem of the blanket. 

“I don't know, the way she looked at you… I thought you two...”

He gives you a small, maybe even shy, smile.

“Greez was snoring,” he states, which seems pretty unrelated, so you quirk an eyebrow at him. “And whose room did I go to?”

You avert your gaze from his, not wanting to give in just yet. Somewhere in the back of your brain there was still a little voice saying that there's no way he's implying what you think he's implying, and that you shouldn't get your hopes up because you're only gonna get crushed.

Then he softly calls your name, and you're suddenly aware of how he can possibly not just hear but feel how your heart is pounding against your ribs, with his body pressed to your side. His hand reaches up to gently hold your chin, turning your face to look at him, and your cheeks burn once more.

The way he looks at you, how the dim lighting from behind seems to form the faintest of halos against his copper hair, how his ocean eyes shine through the darkness and look into yours longingly… You make sure to commit everything to memory, afraid of this moment ever ending. You're so busy counting every freckle, tracing every line of his face with your eyes, his jaw, his collarbones, that you miss how his own eyes flicker to your lips for a moment, and he starts leaning in. 

Before you can even process what’s happening, Cal presses his lips to yours. The touch is feather-light, almost like he’s scared to press too hard. Just as quickly as it started, it ended much too soon. Pulling back only enough to look at you, he’s about to say something, but you go first.

“Do it again,” you demand in a whisper. “Please.”

Cal’s happy to oblige and leans back down, now with more confidence. This time he feels you reciprocate, so he moves on top of you, his arms on either side so as not to crush you with his weight. He traces your bottom lip with his tongue, and you open your mouth to meet it with your own. Your hands reach up, one around his toned back, the other over his shoulder, to his nape, and into his fiery hair. Tangling your fingers into the strands, you pull ever so slightly and he groans into the kiss. If you thought your cheeks were burning before, now your whole body is positively ablaze. 

He breaks the kiss for much needed air, peppering some more on your jaw and neck, which makes you giggle lightly. 

You’re both panting lightly, trying to get your breathing and erratic hearts under control, still looking at each other in awe of what just happened, when BD suddenly beeps.

“Wha- Yeah, I was about to!” Cal says over his shoulder to the droid.

“What did he say?” you ask, cupping his face with both your hands, and he leans into your touch, closing his eyes.

“He said I should tell you how I feel about you,” he explains sheepishly, and when you chuckle at that, he looks back at you.

“I think you’ve made it plenty clear” you tell him with a grin. “But you can’t never be too sure.”

Cal stifles a laugh while shaking his head, hugging you to him and turning around so now you’re on top of him. The action makes you squeak in surprise, and your hand shoots up to cover your mouth as you hide your face in his chest in embarrassment. He chuckles, and you can feel it rumbling through you both. 

“Then let me clear it up,” he starts and his face gets a bit more serious. His hand comes up to hold your face, brushing over your cheekbone with his thumb. “You’re the first thing to make sense in a very, very long time. I’ve been running, hiding for so long… You reminded me that there’s more to life than just survival. And now I can’t imagine a life without you in it.”

You place your own hand over his own, leaning into it and closing your eyes to savour the moment and make sure that you’re not dreaming. After a moment you look back up at him with a smile you can’t stop from spreading no matter how hard you try, not that you’d want to. 

Since you don't really know how to answer and put your feelings into words, you decide to kiss him one more time. It’s cut short though as you have to lean back for a yawn you can’t stifle. Despite your racing heart and the million thoughts going through your head right now, the claws of sleep are slowly creeping in to claim you. 

You kinda slump onto Cal, who huffs in surprise but hugs you nonetheless, and you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck as you nestle your body against his, your leg over his hip.

“I also want you to stay in my life, Cal,” you mumble as you lazily trace shapes onto his skin. “Even after we find the Holocron and everything, no matter where you go, I’ll be right by your side and kiss you better when you get your ass beat by some monster somewhere.”

“Can’t wait,” he says with a chuckle and a kiss to your head, then wishes you good night, hugging you impossibly closer to him.

[teecupangel]

OK, I know we got a few Star Wars crossover AUs here already, but like

What if Desmond gets reborn into Star Wars as a Zabrak? Specifically a female Dathomirian Zabrak. I say female cause the female Dathomirian's learn force stuff while the males are little more then slaves and do not learn force stuff- they're more warriors though.

Let's have Desmond be younger the Obi-wan but Older then Anakin here.

Desmond was old enough to have remembered his time in Dathomir, learning the very basics of Nightsister's magic and culture before, for some reason or another, he was taken off planet, and not long later, gets taken in by the Jedi due to his force Sensitivity. So about older then 3 but younger then 6 cause, if I remember, 6 years old is the oldest they may take a child in or af least the species' equivalent to 6.

I mention Desmond learning basic Nightsister magic cause, among the things Nightsister's are able to do, they can conjure up spirits of ancestors and other night sister's and such. And with Desmond being Desmond, despite only being taught basics, let's say he's oddly adept in spirit conjuring without even needing the Ichor Dathomir has. Meaning, Desmond summons his ancestors from his previous life, and their presence in general would cause confusion and chaos among the Nightsister even, maybe warrant Desmond being sent away? Unsure how or why he's away from Dathomir.

Least to say, the Jedi having to deal with a child born with Dark Side influences with their clearly Force Ghost they can summon- which, none of them can even understand them but can see the fact they are a good influence and, very reluctantly, do not do anything about Desmond's ancestors as he calls them.

Just- The Force pushing Desmond to interfere with the future events of the galaxy, first being him befriending Obi-Wan around the time Obi-wan is still new to being a Padawan and Desmond's on his way to obtaining his first lightsaber. Maybe they meet at the Archives cause Altair insisted Desmond to read as much stuff as he can.

We might have to mess up the timeline a bit but the reason Desmond was pushed out of the clan could be because the current Mother, Talzin, realized that Desmond is too rigid in certain ways.

They have no qualms with a sister who prefers to be called ‘he’. He was more gifted than most and, whatever he lacked, he makes up through sheer willpower and guile.

His moral compass isn’t black and white but there are certain aspects to it that do appear… impregnable.

It’s because of Desmond’s moral compass that the mother knew he would never agree to siding with Darth Sidius.

In fact, Desmond would absolutely lead them to a civil war if he learns of what Darth Sidius had done just to stop the clan from assisting the Sith Lord and then he’d definitely try to kill Darth Sidius himself.

Talzin knew the child enough to know that he would destroy the stability she was preserving if he remained with them.

But…

Desmond was also one of her most precious students. An orphan she had taken in and nurtured, answered every questions and trained personally.

She cannot kill him even if she knew that it was better than he died here, before he could reach greater magic than she herself could.

So she banishes him, made up some pathetic excuse.

And he didn’t call her out to it.

He didn’t try to plead his innocence.

It was unnerving.

The child knew that he was being banished by the one person that raised him as her own.

And it was like he was expecting it.

No.

That wasn’t right.

It was like…

He didn’t know it was going to happen but, now that it did, he wasn’t surprised by it.

As if it was a given that his mother would leave him.

They sent him in a merchant ship that would tell him about each planet they’d visit and he can leave at any time.

If he wanted to, he can work for the merchant ship and learn the trades.

Talzin believed that he would do well, whatever he turned out to be.

So when she heard of a nightsister wearing the robes of a Jedi…

When she saw a hologram of Desmond, older and composed…

Melding the Force and their magic fluently to destroy all who stand before him with the calmness of a Jedi and the merciless of a Nightsister.

She knew…

It was only a matter of time before he returned to them…

To pass judgment upon the people who abandoned him.

[psychosith]

Echo

cal kestis x reader

summary: despite being close for years, you and cal go your separate ways after a particularly harsh argument. cal doesn’t see or hear of you for a long time, but stumbles across an old jacket of yours that reveals something to him

warnings: angsttttt, yelling/arguing, injuries, death, perhaps ooc!mean cal

a/n: i’m so sorry to the reqs sitting in my drafts ive had no motivation😭 specifically to the person who requested modern!anakin @ a halloween party it’s a little late for that now i feel like…. but anyways y’all might not know this but i’m obsessed w our boy cal and UGH. this prompt from @fallen-vic just struck me right and i had to get writing right away

the last four months had been a blur.

one second you were stripping an old star destroyer on bracca with cal, and the next he was fighting an imperial inquisitor while you cowered away in the corner. then you had boarded a ship with a lanky woman and abrasive latero. they had taken you to a planet hidden from the empire, a place where you thought you and cal could live safely. you couldn’t have been more wrong.

cal returned from the temple on bogano that first day talking about restoring the jedi order and a holocron? from there, it was all downhill. back and forth between kashyyyk, zeffo, and dathomir, all the while cal was forced to face strong enemies that left him on the brink of death every day. and you were tasked with patching him up at the end of every mission.

too many times have you entered his rooms while he was preparing to leave again and begged him to stay. it was always the same answer- i’ll be back before you know it. he couldn’t know, though, the feelings you harbored for him. he couldn’t understand how it pained you physically to watch him leave and come back beaten and bruised. but you stayed, because you loved him, and because you believed he wanted you with him.

it was all too much for you today. it seemed insane; they were planning to infiltrate the fortress inquisitorius and retrieve the holocron. you had stopped on a small planet to stock up on supplies before the big mission, and you were in your usual position: pleading with cal.

“cal, please,” you begged, tears welling up in your eyes. “this is just- it’s too dangerous cal! i mean, an imperial fort, for fucks sake! cal, if you didn’t come back from this… i don’t know-“

he cut you off with a reassuring hand on your arm. “y/n, i’ll be alright. i’ll have cere with me, and i’m stronger than ever. trust me.”

“you say that every time, you know. and every time, without fail, you come back closer to death than i’ve ever seen you. cal, we’ve found you passed out in the mud on kashyyyk. we’ve found you slumped against a generator on zeffo with a blaster wound in your stomach. no one will be there to find you if things go wrong this time, cal.” you say numbly, vaguely aware that there’s nothing you can say to make him stay.

“you’re being dramatic.” he says plainly. “you have no reason to be worried. i always come back, y/n. this time will be no different. you need to calm down.”

you groan in frustration, at his naïveté. “no, cal! you don’t understand… how much it hurts to watch you go. and who knows where you would be without me to put your pieces back together.”

you hear him scoff and look down at your hands as tears finally fall down your cheeks. you can tell he’s stressed by the tension in his shoulders.

“without you? y/n, i don’t need you to do this.” his words hurt, but you try to tell yourself the mission is getting to his head, that he doesn’t mean what he’s saying.

“y/n,” he says, waving a hand in front of your face, “did you hear me? i. don’t. need. you. if you’re so worried about me, maybe you should just leave. then i wouldn’t be bothering you so much.” he stood up angrily and marched off.

was he being honest? did he really want you to leave? all these years you had told yourself that he needed you with him, but maybe you had been mistaken.

you didn’t give yourself time to think. cere and greez had both made it clear that your presence on the mantis was unnecessary, and now that cal had said the same you had to go. you only packed the bare essentials: a canister of water, a couple weeks of rations, and a thick jacket for cold nights. you left through the front entrance without a word to anyone. cal simply watched you go.

a year later - cal's pov

there was no use in trying to hide it, it had been a hard year for cal. a year made much harder by your absence. he had tried to tell himself that you leaving was your decision, that it wasn't his fault. but as he played the argument over in his mind he found himself regretting everything he'd said. cal had been nervous, scared even, of the upcoming mission in the fortress. he'd let trilla and the empire get in his head, and it had cost him everything.

even after he'd retrieved the holocron - and ultimately destroyed it - he never searched for you. he didn't know why. the urge had struck him many times, but he never knew where to begin looking or what he would say to get you back.

it hurt even now, as cal lay in his bunk on the mantis weeping silently to himself. the mantis was empty, the engine humming softly as it flew through hyperspace. all the lights were out and cal's pillow was damp with tears. he hesitantly rose from his bed, staggering to the navigation panel in a sleep-deprived stupor. his cheeks are stained and his hair is tousled as he falls back into the pilot's chair, and he plugs the coordinates to a forgotten outer rim planet into the navigation system.

cal was exhausted, hungry, and mentally drained, but he managed to make it back to his bunk before he passed out.

. . .

something in the cockpit beeped quite loudly, waking cal from his sleep and alerting him that they were nearing their destination. the royal blue color of nez peron was pleasing to the eye, but brought back painful memories for cal. this was where they had made their last supply run before heading toward the fortress. this was the last place he saw the love of his life.

landing the mantis was the easy part; finding you, not so much. cal started in the sparse cities, scanning cantinas and shops, asking about a y/n l/n at every apartment complex and inn. he began to lose hope as he neared the edge of the latest city. just then he remembered you talking absentmindedly as he worked on his lightsaber, saying how it was your dream to live in the forest and live off the lands. it sounded crazy at the time, but now it made sense.

with a newfound passion, cal began searching the forests and plains for you. each dead end made him want to find you more and more, but there were no signs of life anywhere he looked.

one day, he was scanning the ground for any human tracks when a piece of fabric caught his eye. it was dusty, black, and oddly familiar. there were pieces of the same fabric just a little further up the trail he was following. up ahead, cal could just make out the shape of your thick winter coat on the ground.

his steps picked up into a light jog as he neared the jacket. as he examined it closer, he saw a dark stain had dried down on the stomach, and when he bent over to pick it up he was flooded with a powerful force echo.

_______

you had misjudged how hard life in the wild would be. the coat you wore did almost nothing to keep you warm, the water you brought only lasted for a few days, and the rations you thought would last had gone bad within the month. you were cold and hungry, and had only a pairing knife to ward off any threats in the forest. this would be a crucial mistake.

it was a particularly cold day and you were resting against a tree when you heard the crunch of leaves and the distinct mechanical whirring of an electrostaff. raiders. well, just one this time. it was a difficult feat, but you managed to ward off the raider not without sustaining many injuries. you had garnered a deep wound in your thigh and a large gash in your shoulder, luckily most of your vital organs were intact.

you hardly had time to catch your breath before a large mammal had sprung up from a ditch and pinned you to the ground. you screamed and struggled for your knife. your wounds had impaired your fighting skills, and you didn’t last long before the predator had beaten you into the floor. it was so, so cold. you must have lost your jacket at some point. you supposed the animal had lost interest, as it wandered off back into the trees, leaving you in a pool of your own blood.

the sun set behind the trees and you were still laying there, unable to move, slowly succumbing to the cold embrace of death. you could form only one coherent thought in your adrenaline crazed mind, and thus it became your last word.

“cal”

_______

the memory was like a knife to the heart for cal. he was helpless as he watched you draw your last breath, only to utter his name before closing your eyes for the final time. it finally dawned on him.

you were dead.

cal fell to his knees beside your tattered coat, a broken cry escaping his lips. it was all his fault. if’s and should’ves ran circles around his mind, but he understood the depth of this. you were gone, stolen from this world far to soon. cal mourned. he sobbed into his hands for hours on end, cursing you for leaving, cursing cere and greez for letting you leave, and cursing himself for letting his love for you blind him. of course he needed you. he always would. but he couldn’t have you any more.

his mind was blurry as he frantically followed the path he was on, searching for your body. he tripped and stumbled down a leaf covered hill, where he saw you. you were exactly as you were in the force echo, but your cheeks were hollow and your skin was sickly green. you had been dead for a long time. cal ran to your body, crying your name. he hoisted you into his arms and wept into your dirty hair.

“i love you” he muttered softly, hoping that perhaps you could hear the words he was to cowardly to speak when you were alive.

a/n 2: BYE the ending is so rushed. sorry.

[1-have-no-idea]

But hate is so close to love

(Image not mine :))

authors note: this is the fic I’ve been talking about! Finally something long! Let me know what y’all think, this is my first time ever writing something really ‘long’, apologies for the wonky spacing, kinda rushed-

Character(s): Maul, fem! reader

Genre: angst, romantic, comfort

Overview: you, being a civilian that Maul originally took with him to be an ‘example’, aka, killing you, but at the last second, takes interest in you because he can use you. You made a wonderful slave. But slave’s aren’t supposed to forgive their captor, much less love them. Sith couldn’t love. Maul couldn’t love. He couldn’t care less about you. So why did it scare him so much that one day, you’d realize how bad he was for you and leave him?

Warning(s): death, mentions of torture, starvation, dehydration, cruelty, fear, bleeding heart reader, slavery, slight age-gap (reader is implied to be somewhere in her early twenties, Maul is around mid-thirties), corruption, Stockholm syndrome (?), violence, panic attacks, abandonment, manipulation (?), degradation

6519 words

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The dust under you was smearing your pants a rust-brown. You felt a bead of sweat on your temple slowly run down your face, the faint heat of a lightsaber near your face. It burnt your skin, felt as if you were on the planet of Tatooine in the middle of the day. An understatement of a testament of how scorching it really was if it made contact with your flesh. You kept your eyes trained on the saber, the one casting a red glow upon your face. The one wielding the lightsaber was none other than one of the most infamous Nightbrother’s, Darth Maul himself. His face held no emotion other than dispassion as he held the lightsaber close to your face, fiery yellow eyes boring into your own.

Oh, you knew this was a bad idea! You should’ve never hijacked that ship, should’ve stayed at home and not have letten your curiosity take over you! ‘Curiosity killed the loth cat’ wasn’t just a saying, you realized. You just wanted to get off your own planet and explore a new one, that was all! But of course you just happened to crash into one of the most godforsaken ones, Dathomir. Everyone warned you of the planet. Apparently, the dark side of the force resided there strongly, and the residents who lived there were… not exactly the most welcoming. And guess what? Young and dumb you left your own planet out of curiosity, and now young and dumb you were going to be beheaded while down on your knees from a powerful Sith everyone feared. You didn’t know whether to start sobbing and begging for your life, or maybe in the heat of the moment, you could roll away and make a run for it.

…No, you knew that both of those would be futile. Maul could sense your fear, your anxiety. Could see it in those doe eyes peering up at him nervously. He almost pitied how pathetic you looked, but honestly, he couldn’t care less. It irritated him how weak and soft you looked. Didn’t you know Dathomir was filled with ruthless savages who wouldn’t think twice about taking advantage of a dumb thing like you? Obviously not. You seemed a bit airheaded to him.

“You’re a daft one, aren’t you?” The tattooed Dathomirian crooned down at you, cocking his head to the side slightly. Excuse him? He then sighed, raising his lightsaber, holding it taut and ready to strike at you without any mercy. Immediately, a choked gasp left you, and your eyes widened in horror, before, without thinking, you flung yourself onto the dust-covered ground before him. Bowing now. Like you were kneeling at an altar, your hands moving into a pleading position. How pathetic.

“Wait, w-wait-!” You stammered, lifting your eyes to look up at him from your place on the ground. “Please don’t kill me, I’ll do anything!” Wow, didn’t that come out desperate? This was cliche. “I- I know that sounds super desperate and cliche, but honestly, I don’t really care–” bold for someone who was face to face with a Sith. “You can just take me in, and I’ll- I dunno- I can, uhm, I can-” a click of his tongue was your breaking point, and just before he could bring down his weapon and plunge it into you, you flinched and shut your eyes tightly in fear. “I’ll be your slave-!” You cried out desperately, bracing yourself for the hot pain to tear through your flesh, but it never came. Your heart was banging against your ribcage, and cold sweat dripped down your body, eyes clenched so tightly you started to feel a tad lightheaded. Then, a marred hand came down and rooted itself in your hair, before tugging you up so you were back sitting up straight. A small yelp left you at the action.

“...Look at me, girl. Open your eyes.” Maul demanded, and you complied, opening your eyes to stare at him warily. The Sith regarded you intensely, sizing you up, a hint of interest present on his stone cold face. “My slave? For your life, in return, you’d agree to be my slave? A slave to a Sith?” He sneered, tone almost sardonic. Like he found the idea funny. In all honesty, being a slave to a Sith was worse than death. Regardless, however, you bobbed your head up and down, swallowing down your fear and nervousness. “Yes sir,” you agreed in a shaky murmur. He looked you up and down once more, before a twisted grin of cruelness split on his lips. “I believe that can be arranged.” He droned, before tugging you up on your feet by your hair.

The good thing was that you escaped partially unscathed with your life. The bad thing? Your life was in the hands of Darth Maul himself, and he didn’t come with the title ‘gentle.’ And you were a fragile little thing.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Your hands were worked raw at this point. Your body aches everywhere, and you haven't slept a wink ever since Maul took you in. He was high maintenance. Your tasks were to fix his ship whenever he spotted something wrong with it, to clean every nook and cranny inside of it too, he wanted you to take apart his lightsaber, clean it, and then piece it back together. With no safety gear, mind you. The tasks were dangerous as they were tedious and difficult. But you knew better than to complain. You wouldn’t. If this was your life from now on, then so be it.

He didn’t really talk to you. Not unless it was about your chores. “Have you finished the floors, pet?” He’d ask, giving you a condescending smile. And you’d nod, and straighten your back, and it’d give a small pop. “Good. Now, do the windows, I need you to make the beds and sweep, and do not forget to make the bunks and clean all the rooms.” He’d remind you, despite it being the unholy hours of the morning and you’ve been awake the entire day and night before.

Weeks passed, and weeks turned into months with him. You had gotten used to barely getting any sleep, you were used to not eating that much, not needing him to tell you what he wanted and when he wanted it. You had completely memorized everything.

As of late, however, your tasks have become well… more, domestic. Maul had entrusted you with cooking his meals, with his eyes on you of course, just so you didn’t try to sneak anything in it, you started to wash his robes, he liked when you filed his nails and his horns from time to time. It confused you, why your tasks were getting easier and less harsh each day. It was as if he was… giving you a break, for your weary body. But then he started to feed you, too. Allowed you to eat and sleep, to regain your nutrition. A part of you thought that maybe it was a trick, to give you a false sense of security. But another part, a more trusting and altruistic part, believed that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t all that of a sadistic Sith that most people believed him to be. You knew that was just your heart talking, not your mind. He didn’t care. Not one bit.

And that’s when you started to realize. This Sith, this Nightbrother, Darth Maul, was starting to lower his guard around you. It made sense, really. You weren’t a Separatist or one of the Republic. Just a citizen. A mere stranger on the side-lines. You posed no threat. That’s why you were here currently, his hand in yours as you delicately held his fingers while filing down his nails. Sharp, how he liked them, but short. He insisted that when he grew his nails out, although it was beneficial, he didn’t like the grime that collected underneath. He sat on his throne, legs spread, one bent at the knee with his foot on the seat, and the other down on the floor. His eyes were downcast, flickering across the words in his book. You were sat next to the arm of his chair, only sometimes glancing up to look up at him or peeking at his book. His expression was soft, softer than it ever really was. He always had that look while reading. Where the scrunch of his nose smoothed out, the way the corners of his lips that were usually naturally tugged down evened out into a soft line, and his eyes were less clouded over.

“It’s rude to stare, pet.” Oh. Immediately, you snapped out of your daze, clearing your throat. “Sorry.” You mumbled, eyes falling back down to his nails. He didn’t look up at you when he said that, still reading, but once you looked back down, his eyes slowly fixed on you. A soft huff left from his nostrils, and he looked to where your small hands were on his. Your soft palm against his rough one, the way you held his fingers so gently. It made him sick. Like he wanted to curl away from you. But it also made him want to relax. He then resumed to look back at his book, but not before posing a question. “...would you like to know what I am reading, girl?” He asked softly. He always was soft-spoken towards you. At least, nowadays. Scaring you and putting fear in you became less entertaining for him. You hummed and stared up at him quizzically, before nodding shyly. As if you were flustered at his offer. Another huff. “I am reading poetry. I find it most interesting… I enjoy how it is like a puzzle. Something to figure out. Yet, the feeling is expressed so vividly and clearly. It is just so easily looked over sometimes.” He explained in a quiet voice. You were surprised at how open and attentive he was to the book, and how pleased he seemed to be to share it with you.

The life of a Sith was as dangerous as it was evil. The one thing that people never mentioned about taking that path, however, was how lonely it was.

“You like poetry, Maul?” You questioned, tilting your head a little while he blew on his fingers to rid of the dust that was his keratin. He gave a small hum of agreement. “I do. Very much so.” He affirmed. And then you gave him a faint smile, a quirk of your lips, and in return, his expression turned a little wary. “Me too,” you admitted. That made Maul relax once more. It was silent for a moment, before he spoke up. “If you would like, I could read out loud to you.” He offered. That made you pause, a look of surprise growing on your face, before you nodded, giving him another smile.

“Yes, please.”

When he opened his mouth and started reading out loud, you tried to focus on his words, you really did, but you couldn’t help but be distracted, watching how his lips moved to form his words, how his voice was so smooth. He was softer. He was less violent towards you. He was reading to you. The way your heartbeat quickened is where you started to slowly become more aware of your thoughts. And also became aware of what was happening.

No. No, that couldn’t be, he was your captor! You should hate him! …So why did you feel so safe with him? Why did he make you smile? Why did he make you care? You shouldn’t care for him, not when he almost took your life. But he didn’t, your heart cried out. He’s lonely, your heart defended. There’s a reason for that, your mind retorted. He’s a Sith. Sith can’t love. He can’t love. So your heart and your mind were at war with each other, and you yourself were gazing at Maul in uncertainty. In the end, your heart won. He can be good. I know he can.

You couldn’t fix him, no. But you could at least try to be there for him.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Today, Maul came back to the temple tense. There were multiple lines on his forehead from frowning, his breathing was coming out in harsh huffs, and his lips were twisted into a nasty frown. He was muttering under his breath, words quick and indecipherable. He was rambling incoherently under his breath, before collapsing on his throne, one hand moved to his head, fingers moving to grip ahold of one of his horns, while the other slid down to cup at his jaw, before holding the side of his neck. He was hunched over, slightly rocking back and forth in his chair.

You exited your chambers to greet him when you heard him come back, but seeing him break down like this made your heart fall to your stomach. “Maul-?” You called out in concern, padding to his side quickly, brows furrowed in concern and eyes showing nothing but care and worry. “What’s wrong-?” You tried asking, but he just continued to whisper under his breath. He looked like he couldn’t even see you. Slowly, in confusion, you sank down into a crouch. “...Maul?”

When he didn’t answer, you carefully reached out a hand to him. Your finger brushed against his wrist. Brushing against his wrist gently, a feather-light touch. Barely, but that’s all he needed. Like a spider when it feels that single movement in its web, he lunged forwards to you, shoving you off balance.

You yelped in shock, being shoved off balance and almost tumbling backwards, before feeling your throat tighten. Your air was being cut off, and there seemed to be some invisible pressure around your neck that lifted you off your feet to where you hovered above the ground. You let out a strangled cry of his name, hands moving to claw at your throat despite nothing being there. He walked toward you, and each step he took, you were pushed backwards by the force, his lips twisted into a snarl, teeth bared and right hand extended with his palm facing towards you. He growled at you, a guttural sound, and it sounded so pained. He looked at you as if he didn’t know you. Your lips trembled, and you felt yourself getting lightheaded. “Maul—” you gasped out.

“You’re– ack– you’re hurting me—”

And just like that, all that fear and hate and anger left his eyes, leaving a confused awareness. His arm dropped, and he took a shuddering breath as he fell to the floor, choking and gasping for air, gulping it down greedily. Your hand moved to gently prod at your throat that felt bruised now, eyes moving to look up at him in a fearful and confused question. A hint of regret and shame flickered in yellow orbs, but as quickly as it was put there, it left. A frustrated shout left him, and he whipped away from you, fleeing the temple quickly, leaving you alone on the floor confused and hurt.

Questions flooded your mind. The most prominent one being why? Why would he do that? Why’d that happen? Why’d he leave? Or, what, happened?

Maul himself had to leave the temple. Move outside and just take a walk, kicking up the sand beneath his boots. That simple brush of your fingertips to his wrist made him want to hide. And when he didn’t want to hide, he wanted to bite. Words could not explain how when you made contact with his skin, it burned. Made him recoil away from you, but Sith do not recoil and curl away, no, they fight. So that’s exactly what he did.

It was encouraged, you should’ve known your place and never decided to get close to him in the first place, it was your fault. You were nothing but his slave, that was it. …So why did he feel bad? Why did he have that sudden sting in not one, but all three of his hearts? He was growing too soft. That was the problem. He was actually starting to relax around you.

Maul gritted his teeth in anger, head shaking in disbelief. This was all a part of your plan, wasn’t it? You were tricking him– yes, that was it! You were trying to trick him to lower his guard around you, so you could take advantage of him! That was the only reason. That made the Zabrak let out a deep sigh of relief. Yes, that was it. You were a small, dumb thing, but Maul had to applaud you for being so bold and more cunning than he gave you credit for.

…Yet, at the same time, he had entrusted you with cooking for him, even going as far to not watch you. If you had planned to escape him, wouldn’t you have tried to poison him the moment he took his gaze off you? Maybe kill him in his sleep? You could’ve impaled him whenever you desired while filing his horns, but you never did. You weren’t malicious, not one bit. Not even violent. Maul almost thought that maybe you were incapable of feeling such things as hatred or anger. You couldn’t harm a fly. Literally. He’s witnessed it. Despite flinching and almost running away when you first saw it, it didn’t stop you from running around in the temple trying to catch it inside your cupped hands before releasing it outside. The entire time, he had watched with a slightly baffled expression, eyes wide and brow ridges furrowed, once quirked up with parted lips.

He spared you from the fact that the minute you released the small insect outside and walked away from the window it got eaten by a small reptile. He’d hate for you to be whining about it, he could imagine how much of a nuisance that’d be.

Or maybe he was sparing himself the fact that he didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to be upset about it.

That made Maul freeze where he was sitting atop of a small boulder, eyes widening. He couldn’t deny that he enjoyed having your presence around. He enjoyed you. He liked how you would let him read to you, how you would cater to him so gently, how you were softening around him. You were making him feel something.

You made him feel less of a burden on his shoulders. Released some of that darkness inside of him. You made him feel warm, soft. And Maul, oh, he hated that. He hated the way you made him feel. Maybe it was just temporary, though. It would pass, surely.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

When Maul got home that night, he was quiet. He ignored you for the first couple of hours, not sure how to interact with you after his actions. You would glance at him in concern, not fear. You were worried, he could see that. He hated how you didn’t look at him in fear like how you should, he just strangled you! It annoyed him, made him feel that same weird pang in his chest, but he didn’t say anything. Neither did you, not wanting to set him off again. That silence lasted until when you were about to retire into your chambers. Before you could, though, Maul called after you.

“Pet.”

Your head perked up and you looked over to him, a small nervous look on your face which made him want to grimace. He pointed to the space in front of him, looking at you expectantly. “Come here.” He demanded. Tentatively, you approached him, until you stood in front of him while he sat. The Nightbrother made a soft grunt, before beckoning you even more down. “Kneel. I do not bite.” He said in a tone of annoyance. Liar.

However, you cooperated, moving down on one knee so you were looking up at him, his knees on either side of your face. With a curled finger, he made you sit up slightly, before leaning down so he was face to face with you. His eyes flickered down to your throat, seeing the slight bruising there and redness of where all the pressure had been. Then, silently, he reached inside of his robes and pulled out a thick plant, (that he collected on his way back to the temple), breaking it in half while keeping his eyes on your neck. A slimy string connected the two broken halves, but Maul made no movement to swipe it up. Instead, with the tip of his finger, his claw poking into the supple and sensitive flesh of your throat, he tilted your face up so your throat was bared to him. He peeled the plant of its skin, only the clear and slimy flesh left, before scraping the gooey slick off it, and picking it up. It dripped from his hands, and he placed the cool slimy gel on the bruises. It was wet, and kissed your skin, dribbling down and sending a shudder down your spine from the coolness. Once he was done applying it, he looked at his now slimy and sticky hands distastefully, and wiped them on his pants legs. But then he pulled his lightsaber out, igniting it. Immediately, you flinched backwards, brows knitting together, but Maul stopped with you by placing a firm hand on your shoulder.

“Calm yourself, star,” oh, that was a new one. You couldn’t help the way it made your heart flutter. You wondered why he decided to call you that. “I have no intention of killing you. I would’ve done so already if I did.” He reassured, if you can even call it that, just letting the lightsaber hover near your skin so the heat of the saber could warm the area. “Oh.” You relaxed, breath evening out. “Heat helps get rid of bruises.” He explained, and you nodded. He was taking care of you, you realized. It was a silent apology. A way to make up for it.

Was it bad that it made you love him even more?

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

The next couple of weeks passed by quickly. You were growing bolder each day. Maul soon came to the realization that if he got you talking, you’d never shut up. You were treating him like a friend. And with the title of friend, comes the affection. In the beginning, you’d be scared about it. Maybe an accidental brush against him, and he would immediately whip towards you, teeth bared and snarling at you. A silent but expressive and aggressive don’t touch me.

You didn’t listen, though. Not to purposefully try him, no, sometimes it really was an accident, and others you just weren’t really thinking about it. Soon, snarls and growls turned into flinches and grimaces, until it turned into tensing, and now, he would just let it happen. He wouldn’t shove you away. He would just glance at where you were touching, and move on with whatever he was doing. That made you happy. He was comfortable around you. And that made you happy. You know what else it made you? Made you feel closer to him even more.

There was no use in hiding how your relationship with the Sith was definitely not fearful like how it was in the beginning, and your feelings definitely weren’t what a ‘slave’ should be feeling. Of course, you were ashamed of it at first, but after realizing he really wasn’t a bad person, and just did many bad things, it made you accept it. He was hurt, and he was angry and hateful. And he was lonely.

In return, it was no secret how Maul was softening up to you too. Allowing your touches, listening to you talk, he even smiled at you. Multiple times. Not those mean ones either, a genuine smile. Not to mention the couple of more sweet terms of endearment that escaped his lips whenever he really was relaxed and not thinking.

You supposed that’s what led you here, now. It was dark outside, all the close by planets and stars visible from where you and Maul sat. He had found you stargazing, and decided to join you. He didn’t quite understand why you were so enthralled by them when it’s something you see everyday, but you were like that. You just loved life. He almost envied you, because he didn’t understand it.

“I don’t understand why you look up there like it isn’t something you see everyday.” He commented suddenly, making you let out a soft chuckle.

“They’re pretty. I just can’t get enough of it.” You responded with a shrug, and that made an amused hum leave him. “You never fail to confuse me.” He muttered under your breath, and you turned to smile at him. “But ain’t that the nice part? Means you’ll always be surprised by me, and it’s like a big puzzle. You like puzzles, Maul.” He sighed deeply, and shook his head. “I resent you, sometimes.” He said, but it was a lie. He didn’t mean that.

But it made your smile soften, and your heart tighten.

“I love you.”

And those words escaped you before you could stop them. Maul froze, and so did you. You were about to stammer out an excuse, but it was far too late. Maul didn’t look at you, and you couldn’t tell whether he was angry or shocked.

“...You what?” He whispered. You could lie, but there was no point in that. He’s already heard you, and there was no going back now. Swallowing, and clenching your hands, you took a deep breath, before repeating yourself. “I… I love you.” You said in a hushed tone. And he tensed, claws digging into his pants legs. “No, you don’t.” A whisper.

“What-? Yes, I do—”

“No, you don’t.” More firmer this time. Okay, now you weren’t scared, you were just concerned. Why was he denying this? “Maul, I do–”

“No, you don’t!” He finally shouted, standing up and seething at you, shaking his head. “You don’t love me! You don’t, you don’t, you don’t!” He screamed at you in fury, trembling. You looked at him with hurt and disbelief, getting up with him, but as you did, he started to pace away from you back to the temple. “Maul, no! Why-? What do you mean-?” You questioned, not understanding why he was so upset with you as you ran after him. But then, a guttural growl which borderlined a gritted noise of pain escaped his throat, and he turned around and shoved you to the floor, chest heaving. “Do not speak.” He spat out venomously. “I’ve heard enough.”

And that was the last thing he said to you before disappearing from the temple, slamming the doors shut as he left you. You laid there on the floor, bewildered, before standing up on shaky legs and stumbling to open them. “Maul-?” You called out, eyes flickering around to find any sign of where he went, but you found none. “Maul! I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you!” You cried out, hoping that maybe he’d come back if he heard you. “Please come back!” And yet he never did. The only response you got was some chitters of the nightlife and a small breeze that made you feel even colder.

The next few days, you were left at the temple alone. You’d frequently look back towards the doors whenever you heard the slightest noise from outside, hoping that maybe it was Maul returning just like how he always does, but it was always just the wind or a little critter. You’d wake up early in the mornings to go and check his quarters only to find yourself being disappointed that he didn’t decide to come back the night before, and during the evenings, you’d still cook food for two despite it just being you, and unsure of what to do with the leftovers afterwards, and at night? That was the worst. You would move to sit outside of the temple, on its stairs, waiting for him to come home, or at least, what felt like home. Not anymore. Not without him in it.

This cycle repeated itself over and over again, every day, with no trace of him. At this point, you were starting to actually believe he had… abandoned you. All because you said, ‘I love you?’ You guessed so.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Finally, after days of desertion, he returned. You were overjoyed, bounding up to him and going in for a hug, which he begrudgingly accepted but stayed silent nonetheless. You cooked for the both of you and tended to him eagerly, but the both of you never dared mention your little confession. Thankfully, at least he still accepted your affection. So it wasn’t like you guys had to start back at base one. In brutal honesty, ever since that happened, you felt as if you had to start walking on eggshells whenever around him. Anything could set him off, and you didn’t want that. Not after what you had seen, what he did. You didn’t want that.

Though, you did recognize that ever since he came back, he was more… tender, if you could put it that way. He read to you more often, and invited you to sit with him whenever he sat somewhere. So it wasn’t all that bad. And you started to get more comfortable with him again, and vice versa.

And soon that led to the both of you sleeping in the same bed.

In all honesty, you didn’t know what you guys were. Definitely not just acquaintances, and you definitely weren’t just a slave to him, you were something more, but what? It was quite obvious you were harboring a huge affection for him, with him harboring an affection towards you, but he never brought it up. So neither did you. But, you’d suppose you’d go under the title of lovers, finally. Or, well, partial lovers. He’d still have his moments, and push you away, and sure, it hurt, but you knew not to take it to heart. He was still getting used to it. So, it wasn’t that much of a surprise when he suddenly was faced away from you, the breakfast that you made him, that he asked for shoved away from him, a cold look of disdain on his face.

Oh. Okay.

“Are you not… hungry, anymore?” You asked quietly. The Sith shook his head, lips twisting as he took a deep breath in. “I don’t want it.” He stated. Your fingers curled into your palms nervously and you nodded. “Do you want me to save it just in case you do feel hungry later—?” “Get rid of it. I don’t want it.” He repeated, more firmly this time, hardening his stare to you. Immediately, you grabbed his plate, a small noise of agreement leaving you as you sighed softly. Once you left the room, Maul settled back in the bed, trying to relax, but seeing that disappointed and tired look on your face hurt him. He knew it was hard for you. He knew you didn’t deserve this. Not in the slightest.

Truth be told, Maul knew exactly how he was affecting you. During the night, when you thought you were being quiet and careful of not waking him, he could hear the small sniffles escaping you and the shaking of your shoulders. He saw how your face would fall when you noticed how he was switching up again. He could feel your hurt. And he’s never hated himself more.

Curling in on himself, Maul buried his face into his hands. You didn’t deserve this. You didn’t deserve him. He didn’t deserve you. His hearts tightened, and his hands gripped his sides tightly, claws most likely digging into his tattooed flesh. He didn’t deserve you.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“Oh, no, hey, hey, hey, Maul…” You called out his name softly, gently pulling him to you and cradling him to your chest as sobs wracked his body. Ugly sobs. He clung to you tightly as he cried. He was definitely having one of his moments. “It’s okay, s’okay, I’m here, s’okay…” you comforted, rocking him soothingly. He seemed like nothing more than a child who was lost and had no idea what he was doing while in his arms.

“It’s not okay, it’s not okay, not okay, never okay–” he uttered under his breath over and over again, voice thick with tears and trembling. You cooed to him and held him even closer to you. “It is,” you assured. “We’re okay.” And not knowing what else to say, you said the same words he never echoed back, the ones that made him shove you away and shut down.

“I love you.”

He froze in your arms, sobs dying down, but he didn’t shove you away or shut down like usual. “...It’ll pass.” He responded quietly. Your heart broke for the broken Sith, and you shook your head. “No, it won’t. I love you, Maul. I do.”

“You don’t. You shouldn’t.”

“But I do.”

“Why?” He finally asked, pulling away from you with puffy and teary eyes, nose scrunched up and lips twisted into a frown. “Why do you love someone like me? I tortured you. I almost killed you. I’ve abandoned you. You shouldn’t love me.” He explained, tone slowly evening out.

“I’ve forgiven that. I’ve forgiven all of that-” you responded, but he cut you off, voice almost flat.

“I hate you.”

…What?

Your eyes widened, and your heart dropped to your stomach. Surely not, right? He didn’t mean that. Maybe he– maybe you misheard him?

“I hate you.” He repeated, voice hollow. “I hate how caring you are. I hate how you treat me so gently. I hate how you act. I hate that you love me. I hate that I care for you. I hate that you make me feel so bad. I hate you.”

Oh, but hate is so close to love.

“You should just leave.” He stated, not even batting an eye at his own words. You forced back the tears that threatened to prick at your eyes and shook your head. “You— you don’t mean that. You’re just saying that-” you basically tried to convince yourself, eyes tracing his face for any lie or deceit to tell you that he didn’t mean it. You couldn’t find anything. His face was blank. Like he was on autopilot or something.

And he was. Right now, it was his insecurity talking. In reality, what he wanted to say was I’m sorry you have to deal with me. What he meant when he said he hated you was that he loved you. He was angry with you because you weren’t angry with him. He wanted you to hurt him, yell at him, get mad, because that’s how he felt for himself. He just didn’t understand why you didn’t feel the same way. You were the victim after all. He didn’t want to taint you any more than he already has. You were a young thing, a sweet thing. And Maul was an old, rugged, and cruel and unfeeling, broken bastard. He couldn’t burden you with that.

“Just leave!” He finally shouted. “I don’t want you here! It was better when you were gone– I was better off without you!” He screamed at you, trying to push you away, because he loved you. It was for your own good.

Slowly, you let go of him, hurt written all over your face. You looked as if you didn’t know what to do, you didn’t. Because how are you supposed to respond to that when it was the man whom you loved yelling it at you? But he said it’d be better, right? That he rather that? So, swallowing dryly, you gave a tiny, imperceivable nod and slid away from him.

Oh.

Oh- you were actually leaving-?!

He’d pushed you too far this time, he was too mean, he said too much–

“W-wait, where are you going?” He asked, sitting up and looking at you with wide eyes. “Leaving.” You responded quietly, standing up from the bed, and he immediately grabbed for your wrist, pulling you back. “I didn’t mean it, I swear, I didn’t–” he started to ramble, and you tried tearing yourself from his grip.

“Let me go, Maul! You can’t just take that back, you’ve already said what you said, now let me go-!” He should, shouldn’t he? He didn’t deserve you, you didn’t deserve him, he was being selfish. But couldn’t he? Couldn’t he be selfish? Just this once? He’d already lost so much. He couldn’t lose you too. Not from over those stupid, ugly words that left his lips in a fit of insecurity.

Holding you to him, he buried his face in the crook of your neck, embracing you to him like he was losing you, because he was. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, darling, please-” he pleaded, feeling you writhing against him and hearing your protests. It absolutely broke his hearts. As if to make up for it and convey silent apologies, he started pressing soft and fluttering kisses to the skin of your shoulder and neck in whispered apologies, mumbling his regret and shame through each kiss.

“Maul, please.” You finally choked out, falling limp against him and just weakly pressing your palms to his chest. “You don’t love me, you don’t. Let me leave.” You begged, and he shook his head, nuzzling into you even more and taking a shuddering breath. “No, no, that’s not true, darling, I- I do– I just- you don’t deserve me, I don’t deserve you, and I was just hurting you and I–”

It was all coming out now. The guilt. The pain. The insecurity. The self-loathing. The love.

Your eyes slowly softened, and you relaxed against him, understanding now. “I love you.” He finally choked out, cupping your face in his hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, that I couldn’t, but know now, I love you. I’ve never hated you. I don’t. And by the Force, I don’t want you to leave. I don’t.”

And you cried. You cried in his arms, like the many times he cried in yours. And he pressed your foreheads together, cradling you like you were glass while pressing kisses to your face to prove to you he really was telling you the truth. Because nothing scared him more than the thought of losing you.

After all, hate is so close to love.

[animatedjen]

Out of curiosity, what is your favorite planet to explore out of all the Jedi games? Also, I know it’s a little early, but happy holidays!

Happy holidays! 🎄 Ooh this is tricky. The art direction and environment design in Fallen Order is more memorable to me, but the movement mechanics and level design feel stronger in Survivor.

For actual gameplay exploration, my favorite planet is probably Koboh: it's huge, filled with different unique biomes, and has secrets to discover around every corner. It changes with the game's story, as new roaming enemies appear (to fight you or each other!) while new friends gather at Pyloon's. There's also a great sense of verticality, from the skybound Observatory to the Phon'Qi Caverns to the half-sunken Lucrehulk. Its High Republic roots give the planet some history and mystery, though I'd say Jedha does that even better (really love the Sanctuary Temple!) And the planet's circular layout, two types of mounts, and fast travel make it easy to find your way back to familiar territory. I spent a lot of my first playthrough just roaming the different regions and finding surprise boss fights or hidden chests tucked away in yet another cavern.

Fallen Order is intentionally emptier, with big cavernous spaces and environments that echo their former glory. Focusing on the Zeffo means we explore vaults and tombs, spaces where the mystical side of the Force is put front and center. The planets Zeffo, Dathomir, and Bogano all have big focal points that drive the story (and our exploration) towards a specific goal - but the level layouts are winding and it's easy to get lost/stuck, especially without a fast travel mechanic. Still, the stylized color and lighting gives each location their own distinct visual identities and I think they're overall more impactful to look at, even if more challenging to explore.

There's a very (very) good chance Tanalorr will feature prominently in Jedi 3, and I'm hoping it could become the best of both worlds. Maybe an upgradable skiff to travel between islands, or improved jump abilities to ascend tall mountains. Contrasting the "lived-in" areas of Hidden Path refugees against the frozen-in-time High Republic buildings and any secrets left behind by the Nihil or other ancient groups. Maybe something even older lurking in the bowels of this nexus in the Force.

Until then, we'll keep exploring our other Jedi planets :) Admittedly these days I'm more focused on in-game photo/video projects than gameplay, which would be a completely different ranking: Bracca, Jedha, and Coruscant would go way up on the list. But these are adventure games first and Cal dress-up simulator second, soooooooooooo

[memoiich]

I demand your Maul headcanons <3

Im going to split this up in 2 parts

Part 1 : star wars

Maul is extremely talented at drawing. He leans more into it after Savage and him are travelling together.

His memory is top notch , hes the kinda dude that remembers what he ate 5 months ago at 4 in the morning ( if he has a lover i can see him using this to get them like niche ,one time mentioned gifts)

His sleep schedule is none existent. He tried a few times to fix it but since palpetine needs him 24/7 , he hasn’t yet . After Savage gets him back , he tries to help Maul and it goes pretty well . (Like 6 hours per night on average)

The biggest problem is nightmares. He has ALOT of nightmares. Some are from his childhood, he thinks he’s stuck in the gray room on Mustafar or he sees the fish in palpetine tanks dying. It gives him alot of stress and anxiety. Some nightmares are about Obi Wan, he isn’t scared of him but more of the fact that he didn’t win . He gave his entire childhood and didn’t win against someone that was raised by loving people that cared for his wellbeing.

He dreamed as a kid alot about Dathomir.

He is a mercifull killer , he normally doesn’t play with his prey . He tries to kill them as quick as possible ( look at the fish even qui gon ) this mentality gets ingrained into his mind after he got cocky with Obi Wan .

Maul is smaller then most zebrak males because he was malnourished as a child . Savage has asked about this before but Maul reflects by stating its for his fightstyle.

Maul horns are terribly kept. He never met another zebrak before he was like 24(?) so he literally never knew he had to take care of them . Savage is horrified by the state of his horns when he finds him . Later he helps him out with that and now they are alright.

ALSO his tattoos are fading and need a going over.

He feels extreemly guilty towards both his brothers for leaving them behind. He never knew Feral and he hates himself for that . He sometimes wants to know more about him but hes convinced Savage will be hurt so he hasnt .

He is extremely confused towards his mother Telzin . He feels a certain sense of gratitude towards her for bringing him back but he hates for what she did towards his brothers and for giving him away . ( I actually love the legends version where he has a human mother (Kycina ?) even more but clone wars made it work better so….)

Part 2 : modern au

To me it makes sense if him and his brothers had a tattoo parlor or like a piercing shop.

Or like a business salesman

He drives a red and black kawasaki ninja 400 .

Maul still has a lot of scars mainly on his abdomen . He got into a lot of streetfights as a kid/ teenager.

He loves to give gift . He generally doesn’t think that people will stick around for just him so he sees it as paying them for their service.

He has a pet reptile a Bibron’s Coral Snake . Because he finds them cool .( he ended up in the hospital one time because of her)

He hates obi wan because they have a work rivalry.( will rend to his lover about this )

Im going to keep it here for now . I have some more but this is long enough

{masterlist}

[freesia-writes]

Ch 27: Reactivity

Master List ~~ Previous Chapter ~~ WC: 2.1k

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Song: “Young and Beautiful” by Lana Del Rey

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“Well that’s interesting,” Phee remarked, leaning back in her chair. Hunter had been unable to hide his “fuss face”, as she called it, and had been goaded into sharing what was bothering him. After recounting the tale of Lyra’s return, as well as her side of the story, he stared at his plate of food to avoid meeting the multiple pairs of eyes fixed on him. Omega was still on Plata, but the rest were gathered for family dinner as usual at Tech and Phee’s house. 

“That does appear to be quite a number of unfortunate misunderstandings,” Tech agreed. “Anyway, remember that blossom you received in the cave?” 

“Smooth transition,” Phee said with a smile. 

“Apologies for any insensitivity,” he muttered, trying and failing to stifle the urge to roll his eyes. “However, Hunter is no stranger to things not going as anticipated.”

“Low blow,” Crosshair chipped in. 

“Alright, well, I am sorry for your pain, Hunter. As for the blossom, Phee and I worked on deciphering its runes for quite a while, and then, to be honest, it was somewhat forgotten as we tackled a new endeavor together.”

“Is that what you’re calling it nowadays?” Echo asked with a suggestive eyebrow.

“If you are referring to intercourse,” Tech answered, unfazed, “the answer is no. We call it intercourse.” 

“He really knows how to set the mood,” Phee murmured, winking at Echo as he choked on an ill-timed sip of water. 

“Anyway,” Tech continued, exasperated at the repeated derailing of his train of thought. “We consulted one of the Xyloan elders, who responded to the somewhat supernatural news of its origin with virtually no surprise, and she read the message on the petals with ease.”

“And?”

“It is still somewhat cryptic, but it describes a pool here on the island that feeds into a waterfall, and if the blossom is placed into the waters and its owner bathes in the cascade below, he shall receive insight into his deepest fears or conundrums.”

“Sounds like some weird Dathomir tale,” Wrecker muttered.

“Perhaps, but the unique circumstances in which Hunter received the flower, reminiscent of our adventure on Skara Nal, suggests that there may be more to it than a simple children’s fantasy,” Tech said.

“Well? Gonna check it out?” Wrecker asked, looking at Hunter as he glowered in the corner. 

“Yeah, maybe,” he evaded.

“Well. I shall determine its precise location and provide specific coordinates, should you find the proper impetus to pursue it,” Tech nodded, lifting his finger in the air as another thought arrived. “Ah, also, I thought you should know… I did find a narrowly-published article regarding the death of Lyra and Breslin, which we now know to be feigned.. It seems they were successful in removing themselves from the Empire’s list of known traitors, therefore any bounty that may have been on their heads would have been canceled.”

“Clever,” said Hunter.

“It was effective. However, I did dig further into the records regarding Lyra’s imprisonment, and there do seem to be some inconsistencies as to the precise nature of her crimes… I found it fascinating that–”

“I don’t really want to hear it, Tech.”

It wasn’t open for discussion, and the bespectacled clone studied his angsty brother for a moment, then nodded and turned to Echo to change the subject to the training academy’s expansion. Wrecker waited for their conversation to pick up, then leaned over to Hunter and spoke in a low voice.

“You’re really torn up about all of this, eh?”

“I’m fine, Wrecker,” Hunter insisted, face hardening slightly.

“Alright,” his brother conceded, sitting back a little. “I mean, I get it. It’s a lot of back n forth.”

“Yeah, and I’m tired of it,” Hunter admitted. Wrecker lowered his gaze to the table at the vehemence in his voice. 

“Well, you seem happy enough with Luci?” he offered inquisitively. “So maybe it’s just a lesson learned…”

“Yup.”

Wrecker reclined in his seat, considering Hunter with a thoughtful expression, then resumed eating his dinner. Crosshair, having watched the exchange from across the table, rolled his toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other, noting the curve of Hunter’s shoulders and the tension in his eyebrows. He exhaled softly through his nose, face revealing nothing, then nodded at whatever Tech had been saying.

* * * 

Luci squealed in delight as Hunter hung on for dear life, his arms wrapped around her waist as they shot through the waves on the ocean. She had borrowed a jet-speeder and invited him to straddle it behind her, cranking the handlebar and sending them careening out into the open sea. The wind was loud in his ears, nearly drowning out the sound of the engine, and he pressed his head against hers to hold her wild curls from smacking his face repeatedly. 

A large wave approached, curling out of the water below with an imposing swell, and Luci lined the jet-speeder up, rocketing them along its rolling barrel and out the other side as it crashed behind them. She whipped them around, perpendicular to the next wave, and hit the throttle again, shooting up and through it before slowing, soaked and exhilarated, on the other side. 

“You’re insane,” Hunter yelled in her ear, earning a full-bodied laugh as she angled the speeder to roll with the waves in a slightly calmer approach. 

“You love it,” she called back, releasing the handlebars with one hand to give the top of his thigh a squeeze. “You want to steer?” 

“Alright,” he agreed, surprising himself. But he knew a thing or two about piloting, and he had a feeling she would appreciate his skills. She carefully rose to her feet, straddling his side for a moment as he scooted forward, then nimbly swung her leg over the seat behind him and fit every inch of her body along his own, tucking her arms around his middle. She was an intoxicating mixture of warm and strong, and the sensation of their wet skin touching gave him a bubbly feeling in his core. “Hold on,” he said, and her little “ooh” in response to his authoritative tone made his chest swell just a tiny bit. He needed this. 

They tore across the ocean again, lost in the sheer delight of speed and thrill, and he navigated expertly through the waves until they were both completely tuckered out. Slowly cruising in toward the docks, they secured the jet-speeder and walked, arms around one another, up to the stairs leading into town, laughing freely as their wobbly sea-legs caused a few stumbles along the way. They emerged onto the stone sidewalk at the bottom of The Cobbles, the business district that consisted of one long street that rose in a steady incline across the side of the island, and paused, regarding one another with exhilarated fondness. 

“I’m starving,” Luci admitted, her thin wrap fluttering around her swimsuit. “Is it pasta time?”

“Apparently it’s always pasta time,” Hunter said wryly, flinching as she took a sudden, giggling swat at him. 

“Damn right!” she cheered, looping her arm through his. “Let’s go change – I have extra clothes at my house.”

“My extra clothes?” he asked, tilting his head quizzically.

“No, just generic extra clothes. You never know when you might need them,” she answered without the hint of a joke in her voice. 

“Do naked people show up at your apartment on a regular basis?”

“They don’t usually show up naked,” she grinned, giving him a coy wink as they wove their way through town. 

“Hmm.” He had nothing to say to that. She’d been completely transparent about who she was and what she enjoyed, and her unapologetic way of embodying herself without shame or regret was a refreshing change from most anyone else he had met throughout his life. It was clear that she wanted him and would go as far as he’d let her, but she also never pressed, and he was grateful for that. He didn’t know what was holding him back – their kisses were as incendiary as they were satisfying – but he wasn’t in any hurry to dive in, even despite his recent decision to try to “go with the flow”. 

She did indeed have some clothes in her apartment that fit him well, and as he rolled up the sleeves on the light blue linen shirt, she peeked around the doorway from her bedroom, catching his eye. He held his hands out to the sides, showing her the result, and she gave him a thumbs up before stepping out into the hallway and mimicking his position to show off her own ensemble. She wasn’t wearing much – he couldn’t tell if it was underwear or lingerie or a dress or what – but his mouth was immediately dry and he found himself taking a quick deep breath due to the sudden lack of oxygen he seemed to be experiencing. 

“Just for you,” she winked, vanishing again to finish getting ready. She came back out a while later, her hair falling in gentle waves down to the neckline of a dark blue satin dress that nearly reached her toes. He discovered that it had slits up either side when she approached with a dark look in her eyes, leaning into him and lifting up a leg to rest against his hip. He instinctively placed a hand on her thigh where the silky fabric had fallen from it, and as she ran a hand up his chest before pulling his head down for a deep kiss, he felt every nerve in his body light up. She stepped back, brushing the front of her dress and pulling her breasts up into perfectly-cupped cleavage, then turned to get her shoes. 

Hunter couldn’t believe the life he was living.

They tucked into their table at the restaurant, greeted warmly by the server that had come to recognize them both in their semi-regular visits, and Hunter relished the adorable look of surprise on Luci’s face when his order of drinks arrived – not the usual bottle of sparkling wine, but some fancy cocktails made of much stronger stuff. 

“Oh, you’re looking for some trouble tonight, are you?” she gasped after taking a large swallow that left her nearly coughing from the liquor blazing down her throat. 

“Never,” Hunter grinned, unfazed by his own sip. 

They ate and chatted, laughed and flirted. Dinner led to dessert. Luci dipped a dainty finger into the whipped cream between them, then slowly licked it off as she lifted her emerald eyes to his. Hunter felt a sudden need to cross his legs. She told stories of her adventures, asked him questions about his favorite foods, and the night drifted by in contented enjoyment. Beneath a velvet sky peppered with twinkling stars, he walked her home, weaving through the last vestiges of the nighttime market in the Town Square. His arm hung loosely around her shoulders, possessive yet relaxed, and she toyed with his waist as they watched the vendors putting away their goods while the few remaining customers finished their transactions. 

Luci stiffened suddenly with a small gasp, and Hunter followed her gaze to a stall across the square, feeling a sinking in the pit of his own stomach as well. Lyra was tucking something into her canvas bag, nodding in thanks to the owner and handing him some credits. She waved goodbye, dipping her head with yet more gratitude, then continued on her way. 

“She’s back?” Luci said, more dumbstruck than Hunter would have expected. 

“Guess so,” he muttered, steeling himself against the feelings that began to fester.

“Huh,” she said thoughtfully, a million more thoughts beneath that single word as she seemed to recover quickly from her disproportionate shock and vehemence.

They made out in an alleyway that night, then again on the doorstep of Luci’s apartment building. She teased and challenged, offered herself freely, appreciated every bit of him. It was a heady rush, and he felt intoxicated by the simple bliss of it all. The way she tugged on his shirt, the look in her eyes as she gazed at him, the little bite of her lip when he could hear her heart racing… It all invited him to let go. To be present. To leave the past behind. 

He extricated himself from her arms, his hair rumpled in every direction from her desperate hands roving through it, and stepped back with a shuddering sigh. 

“You’re gonna kill me,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. 

“Quite the opposite,” she purred, straightening herself as well. “You sure you don’t want to come up?”

“Yeah…” he said regretfully, confused at his own answer. 

“Okay,” she said softly, fingertips brushing along his cheek. “Hey…” Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at him. “Let’s take a little trip. Want to?”

“What do you have in mind?” he murmured, leaning back in to press his lips to her neck. She was absolutely irresistible at times, and his entire body was alight with warm desire. 

“Hunter,” she whispered, sending a chill straight to his core with the breathy way she said his name. “You’re such a tease.”

“I thought that’s your job.” He smiled against her collarbone, pulling away with one last kiss. “Alright. Where do you want to go?”

“Let’s just go to Plata for a few days. There’s a big music festival. Good food. Pop-up nightclubs. Lots of people. It’ll be a blast.”

“That sounds awful,” he admitted, and yet somehow it didn’t sound awful at all, but represented an escape of sorts from the relentless tumult within. She giggled, nuzzling her face into his neck now as he shivered involuntarily. 

“It’ll be absolutely terrible,” she said, stroking the side of his face before resting her hand on his chest. 

“Deal.”

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[2stepadmiral]

So I have some thoughts on tonight‘s episode of acolyte, thoughts that I don’t think are being considered widely enough. The general response seems to be, from what I can tell and what I’ve seen online, that the witches were pretty much just doing their own thing, and the Jedi just showed up and started being assholes, and I’ve kind of got to argue against that.

Now to be fair, the topic of Jedi recruiting children has always been a bit of a problematic thing. From what I can tell, Jedi never just take children from their parents, but they do strongly encourage and probably to some degree manipulate parents to get permission. Definitely problematic. However, the situation with Osha was pretty obviously very different. Osha wasn’t an infant or a young toddler who just found, tested, and then convinced their parents to hand her over. She’s an eight-year-old girl who is visibly uncomfortable with what her parents, sister, and community expect from her.

She has said several times that she doesn’t want to be a witch, and in every instance, her reluctance is casually dismissed. Whether it’s Mae pulling the bossy sibling who knows best routine, Koril trying to aggressively shut down any dissent, or Aniseya affectionately assuring her that she will eventually grow out of her silly individualism, everyone in her immediate vicinity is basically telling her what she wants doesn’t matter. Then, Sol and Indara show up, and one of the first things they do is recognize Osha’s individual wants and encourage her to act on them. Yes, what Osha wants is in line with what they want, and as a child, she doesn’t fully understand what it is that she’s asking for, but they make it clear that the decision is hers, and all they encourage her to really do is to be honest with herself and be brave enough to be honest with everyone else. No one else in her life has ever encouraged her to do so, and there is a degree of child abuse present in that reality.

When the Jedi arrive at their home, there is obvious tension between the witches and the Jedi. Sol might be blatantly prepared for hostility, and Indara definitely had the air of someone who was ready to fight, but generally, the Jedi make an effort at being polite, despite the open hostility and even aggression the witches treat them with. Bear in mind, we don’t yet know the history of this particular group of witches, so whether or not the hostility is justified on either side remains to be seen. We know that the witches have a clear, victimhood mentality, based on the fact that their ceremony starts with a speech about how they’ve been persecuted for this appearance of using dark powers. Again, whether or not their powers are dark, or whether or not they’ve actually been victimized by anyone remains to be seen. They could be witches of Dathomir who were driven off world and legitimately persecuted due to incorrect association with the Nightsisters, or they could actually be Nightsisters or similar dark witch organization who are bitter about having their dark ambitions thwarted.

I’ll wrap it up real quick, basically, the coven, whether or not they are night sisters, is clearly a cult, and possibly a dark side cult that has in history of being up to no good. If that is the case, then the Jedi are probably justified in wanting to keep a close eye on them and being concerned about them training children. And yes, the Jedi have faults, and their recruitment methods are also problematic, but considering that when in their ideal form, the Jedi are truly a force for good in the galaxy that do go through times where they primarily function as tools of the Senate, they are definitively the lesser of two evils here. Especially when the coven is actively engaged in highly controlling behavior towards the children in their care.

[randomfandomblabdom]

Fallen Order & Survivor Musical Themes

Has anyone done this yet? Here is a comprehensive list of all of the character themes/motifs found in the Jedi: Fallen Order and Survivor video games for anyone interested. I tried to give several examples of each and also included some of my own thoughts. You can listen to many or as few links as you want. If I missed anything please feel free to add on or let me know.

FALLEN ORDER CAL KESTIS - I'm giving Cal two separate sections because I'm pretty positive he now has two separate themes and in attempts to make it less confusing, I've decided to very creatively refer to them as Fallen Order Cal and Survivor Cal. I'm a genius, I know. Fallen Order Cal is consistently heard all over both games. It's his primary theme. It feels young and heroic and wide-eyed... Remember feeling like nothing could touch you when you were young? That's the sort of feeling I get from Fallen Order Cal. It's not happy per se but it's hope and optimism sprinkled with naive youthfulness and an undertone of solemnity. He's been through some serious shit but he's a kid, he's young. The grief and trauma are there for sure but they haven't encompassed him completely. There's still some hope behind those eyes, there's a healing journey to go on, and there's a chance to take on this Empire. It's only until Survivor that the theme starts feeling a little more grounded just like the transition from childhood to adulthood. Fallen Order Cal in Survivor feels a bit less magical, that youthful spirit has diminished, that hope has dwindled.

CAL KESTIS

THE PATH OF THE THREE SAGES

PEACEKEEPERS

A FRONTIER WELCOME

ABOVE THE CLOUDS

A STEP TOO FAR

SURVIVOR CAL KESTIS - So, I originally thought this was a minor key variation of a section of Cal's theme but I've since realized that it technically is a completely separate theme. That being said, thanks to @foxykatie425 in this insanely detailed reply to my frustrations regarding this theme that put what I was hearing into musical terms way out of my element in terms of explaining, I've realized that I may have been somewhat correct. I don't know if the two themes are actually connected, that would be a question for the composers but at the very least, it's definitely a secondary darker theme for Cal as it only ever plays in reference to him and I'd wager a guess that it's the main theme of Survivor as a whole. Compared to Fallen Order Cal, Survivor Cal feels drained, heavy, tired, burdened, and above all else, dark and foreboding. There is a genuine weight to this theme that just feels sinister. There is a hint of Fallen Order Cal there but as that post says, it almost feels like it's on the verge of falling apart. He's not the same man he was five years ago and the fact that this theme is the first thing you hear music-wise in the game and accompanies your very first view of him is an incredible way of subconsciously telling that to your audience right off the bat.

DARK TIMES

ABOVE THE CLOUDS - note: this theme and Fallen Order Cal switch back and forth constantly in this track and I find that so interesting.

NOVA GARON

NIGHTSISTER MERRIN - Merrin's theme is interesting to me because it doesn't sound anything like the type of music you might use to accompany a witch or magic user. It's not necessarily fantastical or whimsical or anything of the sort. In fact, it sounds more like something you might use for a superhero. It's a little bit timid or unsure or even afraid in Fallen Order but god damn has it built in confidence and strength once Survivor rolls around. The only time you hear that sort of timidness to it again is during the first kiss on Jedha which has such interesting implications for her being a nervous wreck in that moment. I also adore how it sounds as an action cue which you hear several times throughout Survivor. It sounds like it comes straight from the best MCU movies and yes, I do mean that as a compliment.

TO DATHOMIR

PEACEKEEPERS

MERRIN

THE WILL OF THE FORCE

TRIDENT

FLIGHT

CAL & MERRIN'S LOVE THEME - Look, I genuinely did not think they would actually go through with making Cal and Merrin canon, I honestly thought they'd chicken-shit out and I was certainly not expecting them to get any sort of love theme if they did but here we are... and we somehow got both. Cal and Merrin are canon and they got a love theme. Holy fucking shit. It just has all that warmth and sweetness of a friend-to-lovers romance too.

FIELDS OF DUSK - ORCHESTRAL VERSION

CAMPFIRE

A STEP TOO FAR

THE ABYSS

BD-1 - I said in my post regarding my thoughts on the Survivor score that these two video game scores are quite possibly the closest we've ever gotten to a John Williams sound from a composer(s) who is in fact, not John Williams. Not that every piece of Star Wars music has to sound like the big man himself, part of the reason The Mandalorian theme was so positively received was that it was such a different sound for Star Wars but I stand by what I said: this is the closest a composer has gotten to a John Williams sound and they have clearly done their research. Some people might not know this but R2 and 3PO have a very small motif heard throughout the films. It's not played very often and is sometimes not very noticeable but it's there and BD-1's motif is not only similar but definitely sounds like it exists within the same universe. I also love that droids are so often musically presented as very childlike, innocent, and mischievous. BD in particular has a very playful energy.

BD-1 AND THE BOGLINGS

MERRIN

THE WILL OF THE FORCE

TRILLA SUNDURI/SECOND SISTER - Trilla's theme legitimately activates my fight or flight response and when I say that, I mean mostly my flight response cause you won't find me messing with this shit. It's very much in lieu of the famous Psycho violins which were written to heighten your senses by emulating screams. I wish we got more of it cause it's intimidating as fuck and a piece of dark side art.

FIGHT AND FLIGHT

TRILLA

THE WILL OF THE FORCE

CERE JUNDA - Don't hate me but I haven't quite fallen in love with Cere's theme yet. That's not to say it's bad by any means, it's absolutely beautiful. It has such a deep melancholy vibe to it, like an inescapable sadness. It almost has a feeling of failure to me weirdly enough.

THE PATH OF THE THREE SAGES

DESERT RUINS

SIEGE

THE VISITOR

ENO CORDOVA - I've mentioned this before but again, for people who might not know: the music that is widely considered to be the main theme of Fallen Order - so much so it was primarily used during the recap at the beginning of Survivor - is Cordova's theme. It's such an interesting artistic choice because I think many people would've made it either Cal's theme or given the entire game its own theme in general. I listen to this one a lot honestly. It's so calming and safe feeling.

THE PATH OF THE THREE SAGES

FAILURE IS NOT THE END

ENO CORDOVA'S THEME

THE NARKIS ANCHORITES

BODE AKUNA - Yes, Bode does have a theme and you know what? It slaps. I really like it. It's very adventurous and feels quite friendly which is ironic as hell. It does get some heart-wrenching renditions nearer to the end of the game. It's the music that swells when he force-pushes Cal and everyone collectively shits themselves. Oh, it also has some dark renditions as well.

ABOVE THE CLOUDS

A STEP TOO FAR

BROTHERS

THROUGH DARKNESS

RAYVIS - As far as I can tell, Rayvis does not have a set theme but he is usually accompanied by high-playing strings and his boss fight music is the best example of that. I actually don't think a lot of Rayvis moments ended up on the score soundtrack which... how dare they.

WARRIORS CODE

DAGAN GERA - I thought Dagan didn't have a theme for the longest time but it turns out he actually does have a tiny motif that I do wish had been more thoroughly realized in the score because it's so menacing and I absolutely love it. It's most prominently heard during his last confrontation with Cal. He is also usually accompanied by low-playing horns. Not always but usually.

RELEASE ME

TO THE RESCUE

GRAND OCULUS

KATA AKUNA - I'm going to rant about this one for a second, okay? I have spent the last few weeks wondering what the hell the melody that plays throughout the track Through Darkness is. I was sitting here plucking out melodies on a piano app (cause I don't own a keyboard) and was like, "Okay, it's not Cal's theme, it's not Bode's theme, it's not Merrin's theme... what the hell is that series of notes??" Yes, I'm aware that not every note has to mean something but these just felt like they did. It's played at such an emotional point in the game and for two scores that already work heavily around themes and motifs and musical ideas, it didn't make sense to me that this little series of notes would mean nothing, especially at such a poignant moment. Funnily enough, it only just occurred to me while making this post that it's fucking Kata's theme. At least I think it is. Well, motif. It's not a fully developed theme but it definitely has the makings of one. That's not even me making a wild guess either, these notes appear in other places in the story that feature Kata.

NOVA GARON

THE ABYSS

THROUGH DARKNESS

GHOST STAR - I'm adding this for fun because I think it's gorgeous and I love it but it leads me to ask: why has there been no official release of Ghost Star? With or without vocals? This is a genuine question. It does not appear on the Cantina album nor is there even a snippet of its melody on the score album. It makes me wonder if the song was maybe added later into production? Trust me, I love the orchestral cover that has been going around and people are obviously seeking it out cause the track has gained thousands of streams in the months since the game was released. It was at 10k the last time I looked on Spotify and it's currently at 24k as of writing this. I'm just genuinely surprised EA/Respawn or hell, even Lucasfilm hasn't capitalized off that.

GHOST STAR

GHOST STAR W/ VOCALS

Thank you most sincerely if you made it all the way here :)

I liked this. I should do this for more scores lol.

[adh-d2]

Lil' Obimaul fic snippet

Two Men and a Baby Zabrak AU

[Part 1 here]

Summary

In which a disastrous attempt at ambush and subterfuge on both sides leaves Obi-Wan and Maul trapped on the ruins of Dathomir. Maul needs Obi-Wan alive for his lightsaber and his intel. Obi-Wan needs Maul alive to teach him what the hell to feed this abandoned baby he's found...

Word count: 537 | WIP | SFW | Dividers by @xurengu0

It is sometime in the night, deep in those unknowable hours after most nocturnal hunting species have settled, but before the first rays of dawn. Kenobi is asleep on his back atop a makeshift bed of his own cloak and outer robes. He sleeps the still and silent sleep of a field soldier – that particular mix of exhaustion and discipline which allows one to lay their head wherever and simply shut down, knowing that the time until their next rest is never guaranteed. Maul does not wonder how long into the Clone Wars it took Kenobi to learn this particular skill, or whether he has always had it. Maul is meditating. 

There is a scuffling noise to his right, then the sound of tiny hands smashing two pebbles against each other in the dirt. 

Maul is trying to meditate. 

With a deep sigh he cracks his eyes open to observe the little zabrak lift a pebble and attempt to stuff the whole thing in its mouth. Passively, his mind still drifting, Maul wonders if it will choke. But the pebble is rather large, and there is only the soft grinding noises of the infant’s sharp teeth against stone as it gnaws and drools ineffectually. More’s the pity. 

Maul closes his eyes again. 

The grinding noises continue, quickly setting his own teeth on edge. 

Maul opens his eyes, properly this time, and with a tug of the Force rips the pebble out of the child’s mouth. For a moment the creature just sits there stupefied, like a droid with a lagging processor, and Maul’s entire body tenses in anticipatory rage at the incoming shrill cry. The infant’s fat orange face scrunches up...and it growls. It’s the tiniest, most pathetic growl Maul has ever heard.  

Still growling, the infant wobbles forward and tries to snatch the offending pebble back into its mouth. Its stubby little arms miss the thing completely. It tries again with marginally better aim, and just before it manages to swipe its prey into one clumsy fist, Maul uses the Force to twitch the rock an inch to the left.  

That pathetic growl intensifies and the infant topples forward to rest its weight on its arms. Maul twitches the pebble again, and a chubby palm is slapped down on top of it before it can go any further. The rock is rapidly shoved back into the child’s mouth and the infuriating grinding noises resume, now with an unsettling overlay of victorious growls and wet suckling. 

It’s revolting.  

Resigning himself to the fact that any attempt at stopping the sound will likely result in worse (and louder) ones, Maul settles back into his meditation. He centers his focus on the noise before turning it inwards to his own disgust, allowing the feeling to suffuse through his torso and into each limb. He feels the familiar cold, coiled, barely-contained stillness settle into each muscle group as he scans upwards from his feet; noticing the weight of his body against the ground beneath his thighs, the way his hands clench as if strangling open air, the knotted tension of his shoulders. When his awareness reaches his face, however, he is unnerved to realize that his lips are still twisted into a slight smile.

[Link to Part 1]

Once again I am here to throw a random chunk of this fic into the void like chum into the ocean. Which is imagery my little OC baby zabrak would enjoy, given I headcanon the species as carnivorous ambush predators.

[tremendouskoalachild]

Plausibility of Different Toxic Workplace Yuri in the Inquisitorius: a Very Serious Report

there are seven known female members of the Inquisitorius across star wars canon, not counting the unnamed inquisitor mentioned in Ghosts of Dathomir, and the unidentified inquisitors of unknown gender mentioned in Savage Spirits and Crimson Climb. they are summed up in a previous post, and include:

the Second Sister (Trilla Suduri)

the Third Sister (Reva Sevander)

the Fourth Sister (Lyn Rakish)

the Seventh Sister

the Ninth Sister (Masana Tide)

the Thirteenth Sister (Iskat Akaris)

and Barriss Offee, for a limited time frame.

that gives us 21 potential pairings. i have examined them all based on their time in the organization, the likelihood of having met before joining, their appearances together and their personalities. let's take a look.

2 x 3

Second and Third Sisters have a somewhat similar personality and role in their main media. they have never interacted to our knowledge. Trilla dies just five years into her tenure, while Reva joins at an unknown date after the organization's founding. she would be 17 at the time of Trilla's death, and may not have even been a member at that point. they may well have met before Order 66, as Trilla's master was a Seeker and they both worked with younglings (and were captured while trying to protect a group from clone troopers), but obviously no relationship happened there.

PROBABILITY: LOW for timeline reasons

TOXICITY: EXTREMELY HIGH. what if you were a teenager full of rage and i was reminded both of myself just a few years ago and of the children i failed to rescue every time i looked at you 😳

2 x 4

Second and Fourth Sisters were concurrent members for around five years, and may have known each other or been peers before (i don't quite believe they were, as Lyn's dynamic with Barriss Offee seems to go against that). we have never seen them interact but there is no reason to believe they haven't, as they were present in the headquarters at the same time for at least a while; inquisitors are often sent on missions in pairs or teams, and there aren't that many of them.

PROBABILITY AND TOXICITY: MODERATE. Lyn was very much not over Barriss leaving her for basically the whole time these two knew each other. Trilla the inquisitor is not one for socializing but who's to say she never needed to blow off some steam.

2 x 7

Second and Seventh Sister were both inquisitors for the first five years of the organization's existence, and both were likely broken by torture. we've seen them together once, standing around in disinterest while their colleagues toast with shitty local alcohol, shortly before Trilla's death. they may well have met before becoming inquisitors but both are keen to forget their pasts.

PROBABILITY AND TOXICITY: MODERATE. neither is particularly sociable, and Seventh especially is difficult to get along with. they have a lot in common but not the good parts, is what i'm saying.

2 x 9

Second and Ninth Sister were concurrently members for five years, and were sent together on a mission to Bracca in Jedi: Fallen Order. while they get separated (forever) seeing it through, it isn't the only time we've seen them cooperating. they were both broken by torture and have quite a bit in common, though they picked different coping strategies. they almost certainly didn't know each other before Order 66 (Cere, Trilla's master, didn't know Masana).

PROBABILITY: MODERATE to HIGH. by which i mean that we've seen them comfortably work together in canon, which automatically puts them to the top of amicable inquisitor relationships. Trilla is very closed off, but Masana might have more success getting her to open up than most.

TOXICITY: MODERATE. neither is dealing with their extreme trauma in a particularly healthy way so putting them together is. hmmm.

2 x 13

we know Trilla and Iskat have interacted at Inquisitorius HQ, and they die in quick succession five years after joining. we have Iskat's POV attesting they hadn't met before Order 66, and that she was never in anything resembling a relationship. new recruit Iskat is desperate for friends but is put off by Trilla's hostility during training, and gets a boyfriend relatively soon after, whom she keeps until they die.

PROBABILITY: LOW. Iskat is not successful trying to get close to Trilla in canon and gets a long-term inquisitor boyfriend instead.

TOXICITY: HIGH. Iskat was famously a voluntary recruit, while Trilla had to be dragged in kicking and screaming, broken by torture and betrayal. she makes it clear she wants nothing to do with Iskat, or anyone for that matter. timeline-wise any relationship Iskat could have with her would involve a lot of jealousy and borderline cheating on Tualon.

2 x Barriss

Barriss spends a short time with the Inquisitorius, seemingly in a different facility entirely from their HQ. it is possible Trilla is currently there getting tortured but that isn't exactly conductive to a relationship. Barriss doesn't appear to meet any inquisitors apart from those shown in Tales of the Empire (the Grand Inquisitor, Lyn, guy killed later by Ahsoka, other guy killed later by Ahsoka) before deserting. they might have met back as Jedi but nothing suggests that.

PROBABILITY AND TOXICITY: LOW. there is no real space for them to interact in canon.

3 x 4

we don't know how much Third and Fourth Sister's time with the Inquisitorius overlaps, but we have seen them working together. Reva has a lot of friction with Fifth Brother and the Grand Inquisitor in those scenes, but is chill with Fourth Sister. it has been almost ten years since Barriss left by that point, shortly before Reva leaves, and a couple years before Lyn follows them both.

PROBABILITY: MODERATE. Reva is extremely focused on her mission but then again, there is downtime during transportation and such. Lyn is there, much more approachable than others present, and pining for Barris.

TOXICITY: MODERATE to HIGH. Reva goes from the lowest-status coworker to Lyn's boss to presumed dead traitor over a couple days, which is also the only period we can be sure they spent together.

3 x 7

we have no idea whether these two ever interacted. they don't have that much in common compared to some other pairings but i don't see anything making it impossible for them to hatefuck at some point 🤷‍♀️

PROBABILITY AND TOXICITY: MODERATE.

3 x 9

we don't know when Reva joined up exactly, but they both left the Inquisitorius around the same time (well, Reva left. Masana got decapitated). their missions had some small overlap so it isn't out of the question that they would have cooperated off-screen. i think Reva would have reminded Masana of Trilla, who she used to work with quite well. they both have complex relationships to Darth Vader (Reva wants to murder him to death for killing her family, while Masana was mutilated by him several times over and copes via humor).

PROBABILITY: MODERATE. you can't tell me Masana wouldn't be up for it, while Reva seems much more likely to fool around with someone who also lost so much to Vader.

TOXICITY: MODERATE because inquisitor Reva absolutely cannot have a healthy relationship but also there isn't much about Masana making it worse.

3 x 13

similar to Trilla, it's doubtful Reva ever set foot in the Inquisitorius before Iskat's death. if she did, she would have been 17 at most when Iskat dies, and Iskat would have spent the entire time having her evil romance with Tualon. Iskat also joined the organization willingly and always felt Order 66 was completely justified, so i can't imagine Reva would be chill with her.

PROBABILITY: LOW for both timeline and general compatibility reasons.

TOXICITY: EXTREMELY HIGH. Iskat juggling her possessive broken jedi boyfriend who halfheartedly tried to kill her and this teen who very much wants to end her life. someone would die and it wouldn't take long.

3 x Barriss

one of only two pairings on the list i'm practically completely positive couldn't have met while inquisitors. they both deserted though, so maybe they'll meet up eventually...?

4 x 7

they served the Inquisitorius concurrently for around 16 years but we never saw them interacting, or heard of them working together. they don't have much in common personality-wise, other than being capable and dedicated enough to keep their jobs (and lives) that long in this rather intense work environment. however, while Seventh is quick to piss off her colleagues, Lyn is generally level-headed and willing to work with others. maybe opposites attract?

PROBABILITY: MODERATE. their other coworkers drop like flies and their dating pool is pretty limited otherwise due to their careers. also they're both green-yellow?

TOXICITY: MODERATE. you can't have a non-toxic relationship involving Seventh tbh

4 x 9

ten years working together. we haven't seen any notable interactions between them but i don't see why they couldn't have become work buddies at some point, since they're the more pleasant to work with inquisitors around. similar to Reva and Masana, their missions around 10 years post-Order 66 overlap a bit, so they might have cooperated.

PROBABILITY: MODERATE. neither of them is seething with hatred 24/7 or completely isolating themselves, and their other colleagues keep leaving or dying. what's a girl to do but fuck that huge alien gal?

TOXICITY: LOW. i don't really see why they couldn't have a fling. being colleagues is like the most questionable thing they have going on.

4 x 13

Iskat tried to become friends with Lyn, got brushed off, and soon afterwards got reunited with Tualon, who became her hobby until they died 5 years later. they decidedly didn't know each other back before Order 66. i suppose they have a bit in common in being willing recruits, and that Lyn might become more receptive to Iskat wanting companionship once she gets over Barriss (or the wound becomes less fresh, i guess).

PROBABILITY: LOW. they missed their shot.

TOXICITY: MODERATE because of Tualon's existence, Lyn pining over Barriss, plus their first impressions not being great.

4 x Barriss

they knew each other before Order 66, and Barriss spent most of her inquisitor time under Lyn's wing in some way. Lyn clearly feels strongly about Barriss leaving her, for quite some time. there isn't much space for yuri shenanigans before Barriss leaves but plenty after their reunion.

PROBABILITY: PRETTY LOW if we're concerned only with true workplace yuri, since Barriss was still very much getting her bearings and then left right away. you can't prove it didn't happen though.

TOXICITY: HIGH. your heartbroken almost-ex gets you out of jail after a government coup, recruits you into a weird culty organization, becomes your boss, tries to get you to kill civilians, you throw her of a cliff. regardless where we imagine the kissing happened it's pretty weird.

7 x 9

they have 10 years of working for the Inquisitorius, and have been on missions together before. also one of those missions involved going undercover at a casino and gambling on company time. Seventh wore a dress. that's practically a date innit

PROBABILITY: HIGH. both are snarky gals coping with their extreme trauma through having irreverent fun on the job. what's more fun than putting your mouthy coworker in her place?

TOXICITY: MODERATE mostly because Seventh is involved.

7 x 13

they've been thoroughly introduced to each other shortly after Iskat's recruitment and it didn't go well for either one. Iskat keeps well clear of Seventh afterwards for both life preservation purposes and general ease of life. she also has a thrilling pseudo-romance with her somewhat murdery boyfriend Tualon, so i don't imagine she's likely to seek out Seventh for thrills.

PROBABILITY: LOW. they hate each other but not in a sexy way, and both have better outlets.

TOXICITY: EXTREMELY HIGH. murder murder murder.

7 x Barriss

even at her most morally questionable i don't think Barriss would ever be drawn to Seventh Sister. they well may have met as Jedi, since it is suggested Mirialans stick together at least somewhat during the prequel era. it is very doubtful they met while Barriss was with the Inquisitorius, however.

PROBABILITY: LOW for timeline and compatibility reasons.

TOXICITY: HIGH. what if you found the timid healer-turned-terrorst girl in a hallway, all alone and wide-eyed in her new evil uniform, and decided to show her the wonders of the dark side...

9 x 13

they know each other for five years, and Masana essentially becomes Iskat's closest companion showing her the ropes in the Inquisitorius, until she reunites with Tualon. they talk pretty freely and Iskat considers Masana a "lively sparring partner". they didn't know each other before being recruited. Iskat had done so voluntarily, Masana not so much but has accepted her role by the time they meet.

PROBABILITY AND TOXICITY: MODERATE. i'd envision it as part of Iskat's self-realization arc. there is a parallel between Masana and Tualon's recruitment, and maybe Masana could do as him and make the most of it. that doesn't mean she'd forget, thoug.

9 x Barriss

there is very little probability they ever met, as inquisitors or otherwise. i think Barriss would find Masana intimidating at best, and Masana "it would be fun to bring you in, watch you crack like the rest of us" Tide would probably have thoughts about Barriss' recruitment.

PROBABILITY: LOW for timeline and compatibility reasons.

TOXICITY: HIGH. let Masana show this pipsqueak just what she signed up for.

13 x Barriss

Barriss is long gone by the time Iskat properly joins the Inquisitorius, and Iskat's story rules out them having a fling either as jedi or afterwards.

[galadrielaaa]

AHSOKA: 1x8

Something is wrong. That was my pervading thought throughout this finale.

I don’t know what it was, but I just had this pit in my stomach. Something was off. Eerie. Inevitable. Like they had lost the battle before the episode begun, but not being able to put my finger on what exactly was lost.

Like Thrawn said, time, maybe? But there is just something about those Night Sisters that is different, even from the others on Dathomir.

Okay, I could be totally wrong so feel free to enlighten me.

Everyone has been going on about the possibility of Aboleth, the Mother of the Mortis Gods.

After seeing the colossus of the Father, the Brother, and ruins of the Sister (👋🏻 hi, Ahsoka and Morai), it all seems much more plausible.

We now know the Night Sisters originated on Peridea before moving to Dathomir. And those left behind were desperate to escape. Trapped. What if the Great Mother(s) are Aboleth, or are bodies possessed by Aboleth (a lá Voldemort)?

The Daughter represents the Light Side, the Brother the Dark.

The Father represents Balance.

What if the Mother is something else? Chaos. Majik. Unnatural. Something consuming and greedy in its own need for power.

Over all, I’m PUMPED to see where Star Wars takes us from here!

[goosewriting]

Thaw

summary: reader comforts Cal when he has self-doubts.

relationship: Cal Kestis x GN reader

warnings: slight spoilers for Jedi Fallen Order

word count: 1.6k 

A/N: i tried keeping it as vague as possible so as not to spoil too much. eventually i got some things wrong because when i first wrote this i hadn’t finished the game yet and i mix up all the inquisitors anyways lol

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

“Start up the ship! I’m on my way!”

That was the last message Cal sent after you informed him that the Empire had gotten to Ilum, and they were after him. Greez, Cere and you are currently in the Mantis’ cockpit, looking out to the snowy landscape, as two Imperial Walkers appear from behind the rocky formations, shooting away from you, possibly at Cal.

Your chest tightens slightly, feeling bad for the poor Jedi; he really needed a break. He finally managed to repair his lightsaber in the caves, and now Stormtroopers are after him yet again. 

After presumably fighting his way out, you finally spot him between the Walkers, running towards you, and you worry at the slight limp you immediately spot. Telling Greez to take off, you go to the ship’s ramp, which is slowly starting to retreat to close the hatch. Cal takes a Force-pushed leap onto it, losing his footing as he lands and he almost falls off, but you grab him by the arm, pulling him inside, and the door closes behind him.

Panting, Cal leans onto the round table as you shake off some snow from his clothes. He’s rambling about the Inquisitors, saying that you need to get to Dathomir as soon as possible to retrieve Cordova’s artefact from the tomb because the Second Sister is hot on his tail. 

Greez assures Cal that he’s already setting course to the red planet, but you interject that before he goes anywhere, he needs rest first. Now that he calmed down a bit you can see his adrenaline is wearing off, and he grimaces in pain as he now feels every sore spot on his body. 

Letting him lean onto your shoulder, you guide him to the back of the ship to sit on the edge of your shared bunk. BD hops onto the little table and beeps worriedly.

“Don’t worry, buddy,” you comfort the droid, as you take off Cal’s poncho and shirt. “He’ll feel better after some rest.”

You stand between Cal’s legs, tending to his injuries. He has a couple of blaster burns on his chest and shoulders, as well as a cut on his temple. You clean everything up and gently apply bacta gel to the wounds, as well as two thin band aids to the cut so it would heal properly. 

“How’s your leg?” you ask him.

“It’s fine, not sprained or anything,” Cal says without meeting your eyes. “I just took an awkward step, is all. I’ll walk it off.”

You merely hum in response, handing him a clean shirt to put on. You stand up to put everything away, and when you’re done you catch Cal just in time as he wants to get up, but you push him back down by his good shoulder.

“Come here,” you speak softly, scooting in behind him and hugging Cal to you, so he’s sitting between your legs with his back to your chest, while you sit against the wall. You make sure not to press on any of his injuries. Finally he seems to relax a little in your hold, and you press a little kiss to his jaw.

With the Empire after you, and all these Inquisitors always sniffing him out somehow… You know Cal feels like it was defeat after defeat. You want to comfort him but you're not sure what to say except for ‘it’s gonna be okay’.

You feel Cal tracing over a relatively fresh wound on your arm with his fingers, as he looks deep in thought. Thanks to Cal, you got very few injuries yourself, this one being from when you two escaped the Wookiee’s home planet.

“This is all my fault,” Cal says suddenly.

“Huh? What is?” you question. He doesn’t answer immediately. 

“When the Second Sister tapped into our comms on Kashyyyk…” he starts, and you don’t like where this is going. “If I had noticed–”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” you interrupt him. “She played dirty. It’s no one's fault. And certainly not yours.”

“But Cere, if she had told me… I still don't know if I can trust her.”

“She did save us from Bracca, though, didn't she?” you ask rhetorically. 

“… I guess.”

You take his hands in yours.

“Listen, what you need is a nap. You haven't had a break since this whole thing started,” you tell him, and BD beeps affirmatively. “See, even BD agrees! You sir, need a nap.”

“No, there’s no time to waste, I have to–”

“Go to bed is what you have to do. No ‘but’s,” you tell him, trying to sound like it’s final. “Remember what happened to Dathomir before you left? If you want to fight whoever comes your way, you need to rest and properly heal.”

“No, I–”

“Just a nap, Cal,” you insist, moving out from behind him and sitting at the edge of the bed so you can look him in the eyes. “Please. You’re exhausted.”

With you holding his face and looking at him like this, he doesn’t find it in him to fight you or the aching cries of his muscles anymore, so he finally gives in with a sigh. 

“Fine. But wake me up when we get there,” he says.

“I will,” you promise, and guide him to lie back on the bed. When you want to get up, he takes your hand.

“Will you stay with me?” Cal asks in a barely audible whisper. 

“Of course,” you answer just as softly. 

You lie onto your back with him on top of you, his head is on your chest as you run your fingers through his hair. His breathing starts evening out, and your mind drifts off, remembering how you met on Bracca, everything you went through together, all his tales from his time as a Padawan, and your chest tightens. He’s a wonderful person, incredibly resilient, with a heart so kind despite everything, it��s rare to find these days. You also remember that he sometimes forgets these things, so you have to remind him.

“You know you're doing great Cal, right?” you ask after a while in silence, and he lifts his head to look at you. 

“You'll finish Cordova’s mission,” you go on. “And everything will be fine.”

“How can you be so sure?” he asks, wanting to give in but not sure if he should yet. So much can still happen. But you just shrug with a smile.

“I just do,” you assure him. “Trust in the Force, right? I know we both do. It’ll work out.”

Being at a loss for words, Cal leans in, deciding to show his gratitude through a kiss. His lips meet yours and he’s pouring everything into it. And you understand all that he’s trying to communicate.

The kisses slowly start intensifying, and you need to scrape up a lot of self-control to push him off.

“As much as I'm enjoying this, you really need to sleep,” you remind him, slightly out of breath. Cal groans in protest against your neck, giving it a light nip.

“Besides,” you giggle. “I think we have an audience.”

Cal stops and looks up, following your gaze to the side of the bunk where BD is still on the table, looking from you to Cal and back with an inquisitive beep.

“You wanna get in here too, buddy?” you ask the droid and extend an arm, inviting him to join you. BD gives you a happy ‘beep-boop!’ and hops onto the bed.

He’s about to join the cuddle pile when he tilts his head looking at you two. Cal cups your cheek and looks at you lovingly as you smile up at him. BD takes a step back and you hear a shutter, like a picture just got taken. Now your attention is back on the droid. 

“...Did BD just…?” you ask, and Cal sighs.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” the redhead grumbles, sending the droid a half-hearted glare.

“Does BD take pictures of us often?” you question him with a chuckle, and an adorable blush spreads on Cal’s freckled face.

“Of you,” he corrects you. 

“...What?”

“For when I'm gone and… miss you. So I can look at you,” he explains, and now it’s your turn to feel the heat prickling your cheeks.

“Can I see them?” you ask after a moment. 

“Hmm, nope.” 

“What do you mean ‘no’? I wanna see!” you whine.

“They're my personal collection, sorry,” Cal says with a cocky grin, and you playfully roll your eyes at him and he laughs. 

Then you’re left in silence again, just looking at each other. Your hand comes up to gingerly trace over the scar on his nose and you can’t help a little smile; it’s your favourite scar of his. Some may say that a scar so evident would be bad or ugly, like an imperfection, but to you it adds to Cal’s handsomeness. It reminds you that despite everything he went through, he’s still here. With you. 

Compared to the boy you met all those years ago on Bracca, he had come so far. Grown so much. Become more confident and powerful.

When Cal raises a questioning brow at you, given your silence and the way you study his face, your hand comes up to the back of his neck, gently pulling him down to place a kiss on the bridge of his nose. Then you pull him back to your chest, and after a while, you can feel him finally dozing off. BD settles down next to you, and you give him a tired, thankful smile. 

“I love you, Cal,” you whisper into his hair after a while. “You’re enough. And I hope one day you’ll realise that.”

[star-girl69]

Cruel World

Shin Hati x Fem!Reader

—-

a/n: hi everyone and welcome to the first chapter! as i mentioned, i’m just getting into star wars so i will get some things wrong!! i don’t know all of the lore yet, so please feel free to tell me something i missed! i hope you all enjoy!!

also, i took a little bit of creative liberty here regarding the nightsisters of dathomir, so don’t be surprised!

warnings: mentions of blood, mentions of death, imprisonment, swearing, mentions of insanity, tell me if i missed anything!!

Chapter One - Sweet Long Nights

Chapter One - Sweet Long Nights

—-

The Empire had fallen only a few weeks ago. You and mother had been holed up in some small planet, some small shack, waiting, biding your time.

Your mother said she just needed a second to think. To figure out some sort of direction, something. There had to be something she could do, to restore the power that had been taken from her.

And in the darkness of the night, while the wind blows dirt and dust through the small holes, a voice calls to her.

Thrawn will bring the Empire back. Thrawn will bring your power back. If you can get to him.

—-

Before the world had shown you cruelty, you had never known it. You lived in a lavish home on a tropical planet, far away from any prying eyes. Most people didn’t even know you existed, the elusive whispers of Morgan Elsbeth’s daughter, always destined to remain shrouded in secrecy.

You had tutors to teach you the fine arts of the most important planets, the politics of the Empire, language and math- but the really important lessons, the true power, was reserved for your mother.

She taught you not only about power in terms of what it meant to everyone else- but what it meant to the two of you. Descended from the Nightsisters of Dathomir, you were called witches, sisters, ladies of pure darkness.

And over the years, the bright green energy that bursted from you hands turned to uncontrollable surges of power into something that felt like it was yours. Your power. Something only you could control.

Then, the Empire fell. All of your mother’s assets were stripped away, including your beautiful home, all of your tutors, and everything you had ever known.

Adjusting was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. And you did it, missing the comforts of home all the while. It was something inside of you, a gaping hole, pure darkness that you apparently rule over- but it really rules you over.

That same darkness is inside your mother.

You both want that life back. You both need that life back.

There are black holes inside of your chests, and they need to be filled and filled with power.

The pursuit of your old life has led you here.

The room is metal and dark, shackles twist around your arms. You sigh, trying to find a comfortable spot on the metal bench made into the wall, but you can’t.

You miss softness.

“Are you sure this guy is going to come?”

Your mother looks away from the still closed door and to you, remnants of a true mother-daughter relationship on her face.

She cares for you. She just cares for power more. But as long as you have the same goal- you are her and she is you. One in the same. Mother and daughter.

“Yes,” she says, simply, and it seems like there is no more room for argument. “He’s a mercenary. And I paid him well.”

You shoot her an unimpressed look, but in your heart, you know this is the best she can do.

Her composure softens ever so slightly.

“I know,” she says, almost motherly, almost comforting. “I know it’s hard. But the path to power is a hard one, my daughter. We wouldn’t have come this far if we weren’t truly made for it.”

You smile, awkwardly, an acknowledgment of her words, and her lips press together tight, returning the awkward grimace.

The minutes pass by in silence, and you mother stares at her hands in her lap, shackled, and you stare at your own. You flex your fingers. No green sparks from your fingertips.

“Fucking weird-ass rocks,” you mutter, tempted to bang your hands into the wall over and over again until the power-dampening shackles snap off. You doubt they will, but who will blame you for trying?

You heard stories from your nanny’s when you were younger- one of them even descended from the Nightsisters as well. Her bloodline was much younger, much weaker, but she could still entertain you with small tricks and stories she had heard.

She told you that without their power, Nightsisters fell into madness. They would rake their hands down their face, rip their hair out. Away from their home planet, from the magic in the ground, they would slowly lose themselves.

Your mother had prevented that.

After the massacre of the Nightsisters, her and a few others had done powerful magick that you couldn’t even dream of. They had taken ichor from the planet, condensed it, and cut open their chests to rest the stone inside their rib cages.

You had been cut open while you were still a baby, but the stone still rested inside of you.

You look back up towards the closed door. You look towards your mother. And you look up towards the sky and say a prayer to the Winged Goddess.

Then, you can hear something. It’s faint. But it’s the sound of bodies falling, a lightsaber swishing through the air.

The sounds grow louder, accompanied by guns, bullets, one after another. Your mother remains apathetic, a blank, waiting look on her face. She says she isn’t capable of looking into the future- but you often wonder if somehow she is.

You take your seat next to her, shifting anxiously, trying to look as neutral as your mother.

The lock clicks, and the door opens, retracting upwards.

A man waits in the doorway, illuminated by the bright white hallways, dressed in all black. He reaches up and pulls down his hood, revealing a pale face and a full, gray beard.

Your mother stands up, holding out her chained arms.

He points, gestures, and they snap off. You watch your mother rub her wrists, before she turns to you.

You snap out of your amazement.

You lock eyes with the man before you, and he does the same thing, and your shackles fall off. Immediately, you can feel it under your skin. The power. The one from your ribs, passed down through the Nightsisters.

“Baylan, you are true to your word,” you mother commends, the highest compliment she could ever give.

He nods his head slightly. “And well paid for it, Lady Morgan.”

He reaches his hand out, and you stand, rolling your wrists, flexing your fingers, tempted to let green sparks jump out.

Your mother steps forward, and he helps her step over the threshold, then takes your hand and helps you step over it as well.

“Lady Y/N,” he says, and you don’t dare say thank you- because your mother didn’t. And she never would.

She walks briskly, and you find your way next to her, Baylan quick behind the two of you.

“The Jedi who captured me seeks the map.”

Your mother had only basically explained what the map was, how it will lead you to Thrawn, the other galaxy he is mysteriously trapped in. You know it was enough to imprison you over.

“She knows about Thrawn.”

“Who is this Jedi?” Baylan asks, a bit of arrogance creeping into his voice- he is better than whoever, surely. You’ve heard her name a hundred times before. Your mother cursed it when they locked you up.

She looks at you.

“Ahsoka Tano,” you hiss, sparks crackling at the ends of your fingertips. An enemy of your mother is an enemy of yours.

—-

The three of you board the ship in the dock, and as Baylan sits in the captains seat, you expect him to close the doors and take off. Your mother next to him, you behind her, an empty seat next to you.

But he doesn’t. He waits, until you get bored and anxious to get off this ship.

“What are we waiting for?”

He doesn’t look at you. Your mother taps her fingers against her seat.

“My apprentice.”

Footsteps echo up the ramp, and you turn around in your seat, only to find a girl, about your age, with chin length light blonde hair, and a spot of blood on her cheek.

Her eyes meet yours. She stops and stares at you, and all you can do is stare into her bright blue eyes, wide and rimmed with black makeup.

You’ve had lovers before. Weak humans with no powers, just servants in your home or the neighboring ones. But the lightsaber on her hip makes your heart skip a beat. She makes your heart skip a beat, and you stomach flip, and you can’t even feel stupid for the feelings in your body.

She nods, sitting down next to you, and you look her up and down, her armor, the spot of blood on her chin, the small braid resting on her shoulder.

The doors click up, and you can’t take your eyes away from the blood on her cheek. Finally, she looks back at you as the ship lifts up, seemingly a little confused and offended, glaring right at you.

“You have blood on your cheek.”

She looks down and wipes her cheek with her hand, smearing it, and she looks at the blood on her palm.

“Hm,” she says, no expression on her face, and you smile.

—-

That night, on your own ship, your mother asleep in the room next to you, you stare at the ceiling and think of your blonde savior. And you think about the way that if you focused, you could hear her heart speed up as she looked at you, and you could see her pupils dilate.

It’s a sweet long night thinking of her.

—-

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