#just to keep the tradition going of me being obsessed with free to play dudes

[franeridan]

mihoyo really will be like here is this whole cast of characters dozens upon dozens a good bunch of which especially strong and useful you can have whichever you want as long as you roll for them and I'll really be like thanks I think I'll fixate on that one free to play dude you dropped in my hands at the very beginning of the game every single time

[flamingo-writes]

Yours/His— Wakatoshi x Reader

Summary: Despite being completely different people, you found comfort in each other’s company. And after a couple of years of friendship, it seemed only natural that the two of you fell in love with each other. Even though you weren't the “type” of girl Ushijima Wakatoshi liked. However, you were the first girl to ever make him feel like that. 

Posted: 08.14.2020

A/N: I intended this to be a short fluffy drabble...inspired by the song Shooting Star. But then, as I began writing, it all gt out of hand and I ended up writing 8K words...What’s more impressive is that I managed to write them in two days, so, that’s a new record for me. Happy late birthday to Wakatoshi, I guess. 

Word Count: 8.6 K

Warnings:  Smut, smutty smut. And curse words. 

If there was a word to describe you, it was: wild. It was incredibly amazing how someone as wild as you managed to be in a relationship with Ushijima Wakatoshi. To his friends seemed only obvious, while the rest of the school thought it was ironic. 

Ushijima Wakatoshi was known for being not very bright, and yet, the ace player in the volleyball team. He was stronger than most, he was disciplined enough to never skip practice, even disciplined enough to always hand in homework even though he wasn't the brightest student. He had a weird fascination with following the rules. And had his mind set on his goal. 

Along the way, he has had a few crushes here and there, but those girls never seemed to stick around for long. These girls followed the imposed image of the 'perfect wife' according to his mother. Gentle, polite, pretty, dedicated to their studies, and supportive. However, that last trait was always put to test, since Ushijima's obsession with Volleyball was usually what made his relationships end. He never truly loved a girl enough to stick with her for long.

At least, not before you. The two of you met thanks to Satori. And it didn't come as a surprise that you and Satori were best friends. You were both equally chaotic and clever. 

And boy, you were clever. Whereas you weren't precisely the gentlest, nor the politests, you sure were dedicated to your studies, and incredibly supportive.

Sure, you constantly came off as rude for addressing people by their first name right after meeting them, and you usually spoke your mind through sarcastic remarks, sometimes hurting people in the process. But god, Ushijima's friends admired your patience since you were always willing to help him with his homework and helped him study, since Ushijima seemed to struggle with complicated classes like vocab and calculus. 

You managed to effortlessly come up with ways to help him learn kanji, and with such easy explanations for calculus. Not only your patience, but your passion when it came to teaching, it didn't surprise anyone when you told them you wanted to be a teacher.

"You're very good at it" Walatoshi said once. 

Your constant presence around Wakatoshi, as well as him constantly relying on you for several things not only made your friendship grow slowly, but a sort of endearment took over you whenever it came to Wakatoshi. Whereas you were sarcastic and sometimes mean to others, you had a terribly obvious soft spot for him. Something even Wakatoshi could tell. 

This different treatment made him feel good, if he said so himself. He liked to be the only one who was immune to your wild mood swings and sometimes hurtful sarcasm. Even between your friends, your jokes sometimes got out of hand, but by this point your friends knew it was in your nature. 

The stoic, serious, and intimidating Ushijima Wakatoshi was the only one safe from the equally intimidating, laidback, explosive you. And soon, this gentle treatment not only got into his head, it slowly made its way to his heart. And after a year and a half of highschool, he admitted his feelings for you, not only to himself, but to Tendou. 

"Oh, shit, I knew this was gonna happen!" Satori laughed. "Oh boy, Semi is gonna be so pissed when he finds out!" Pulling his phone at once, texting Semi at the speed of light.

"Why is that?" Wakatoshi said, hearing the soft clicks Tendo's phone made as he texted. 

"I made a bet with him. He betted [Name]-chan was gonna fall in love first, I said it was going to be you. And for a moment, I thought he was gonna win" Tendo giggled mischievously, proud as if it had been his doing instead of fate.

"Semi betted that she was gonna develop feelings for me first?" Wakatoshi wasn't used to the feeling of his cheeks burning gently, and certainly, he wasn't aware of the fact that he was blushing, very much to Satori's amusement.

"Yes! And actually, she's not far from falling down that hill, so, now that I won my bet, I can help you steal her heart, tiger" Satori winked and hit Wakatoshi gently on the ribs with his skinny elbow.

"You think I need your help?" Wakatoshi asked, completely clueless.

"Well, normally, I'd say yes. But I'm pretty sure if you keep being yourself, she'll eventually be heads over hills for you"  Wakatoshi frowned at this, confused by what Satori meant.

"Why would she be heads over hills?" 

"Oh boy, this is why she finds you cute. It's figure speech, dude. It means she'll be madly in love with you" 

"So, I should just keep being me?" His eyebrows relaxed at this and sighed deeply, relieved.

"Yeah, if you wanna speed that process, ask her out or whatever…I hope Semi sees his phone soon" Satori chuckled sheepishly.

Ushijima never realized how easy it was to be your friend. You were always there whenever he needed a hand, whether if it was for school or if he was dealing with personal issues. To the point of learning basic volleyball skills and knowledge to help him train on the weekends. 

And just as you were always there for him, he always was for you. The thing about being as free spirited as you were, meant you'd have a lot of people chasing after your igniting freedom. And Wakatoshi was the perfect guy to scare off the guys who didn't have good intentions or those who wouldn't take no for an answer. Just like keeping you sane from the school work and pressure of keeping straight A's to keep your scholarship by distracting you, taking you out to play volleyball with him, sometimes he dragged you along his jogs around the streets, sometimes just to hang out in his dorm.

But then the fear washed over him like very few things in life. The fearless Shiratorizawa Monster, afraid of asking his best friend out on a date and possibly crossing the line. What if he ended up breaking your heart in the process? Or if he scared you away? What if things went perfectly fine, but given your nature, his mother and you didn't get along? 

He hated to admit it, but he was terribly attached to his family. And the idea of defying or starting any kind of family drama unsettled him. 

The idea of losing you terrified him even worse, though. And clung to the idea of staying your friend for years and years to come. Everything would be easier if you just stayed friends. Right?

He was afraid of flying too close to the sun. 

At least until he did, and found out his wings weren't made out of wax. Or maybe, he wasn't even flying close to the sun, instead he was chasing after a shooting star. 

His feelings for you got out of hand one night. One blissful night, in which he learned so much about himself as a man. And about you. By the end of the night, he knew that you were the perfect match for him, regardless of what everyone expected of him. By the end of the night, he was yours. and you were his.

The last party before graduating. Before he left Shiratorizawa and joined a professional volleyball team. And before you went to university and majored in history. 

The traditional Third Year Graduation Party took place not so far away from your place, and as expected, this party turned wilder than the one from the previous year, as the tradition dictated. 

Very much against his will, Wakatoshi was dragged to the party by Satori.  And for the first hour he was beyond uncomfortable trying to avoid the drunken people and their fuckery.

"Toshi, you keep disappearing!" You sang upon finding your friend for a fifth time within the same hour.

"I'm sorry, it's not on purpose" He said leaning closer to you so you could hear him among the chaos taking place in such a small house "This much noise and close space makes me uncomfortable" He said.

"C'mon, lets go outside" You said,  grabbing his arm and guiding him through the crowd "I could use some fresh air myself" You walked out the door,  towards the front yard and into the sidewalk away from the people gathered in the garden.

Wakatoshi noticed how your steps were slightly clumsier and your cheeks seemed to be rosier than usual. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, still not sure what was it about you that was different, but definitely noticing something was off. 

"I'm tipsy, and I'm having a good time" You said clinging to his arm as you sat down on the edge of the sidewalk and stared at the sky. "But if I keep drinking, I'll go from tipsy and fun to wasted and cringy, and we do not want that" 

"Oh" Wakatoshi murmured sitting next to you, his shoulder brushing yours.

"It was the vodka. I've drunk sake before, and normally don't get drunk this fast. But a single glass of vodka with juice and I'm already like this" You giggled pointing at your face.

"You want me to take you home?" He asked.

"Nah, I just got here" You sighed looking at your friend. "Unless, you want to get away from here" You said looking into your friend's eyes.

"How did you…"  His voice trailed off.

"Ushijima Walatoshi, I know you, and I can tell you would like to be somewhere else but here. C'mon, let's go home" 

"Didn't you want to stay?"

"I got what I wanted, I got tipsy with cheap foreign alcohol, and I wanted to have fun. I had both, and now, I'd like to have fun with you, Toshi-kun. And if you need to go somewhere else to have fun, then I'll gladly go wherever you go" You smiled, noticing how Wakatoshi smiled softly upon hearing you.

"Isn't your mom home?" He was worried that you might get in trouble for arriving home drunk, however, he forgot your mother was considerably younger than the average, and was a lot more open minded than most moms Wakatoshi knew. 

"She said she was gonna go drinking with her friends from the office, and she told me that as long as I didn't come back drunker than her, then it was all fine" 

"Oh" He purred "You think she'll get drunk?" 

"Of course! Not drunk enough for it to be a problem, but drunk enough to not mind if I get drunk" You giggled.

"You want to get drunk?" 

"No, not really. I'd like to stay tipsy for a few more hours, but I can do that with the sake my mum has at home" 

"Isn't she gonna mind?

"Gosh, stop worrying and let's go! It's gonna be fine, I promise!" 

With a single hop you stood up and offered Wakatoshi your hand to help him up. He chuckled, thinking how easy it was for you to be so carefree when he would be worrying about all the circumstances. He grabbed your hand, more as a courtesy, since he didn't have a single problem standing up, but still felt the urge to feel your small hand in his. 

Once he was standing on his feet, his gut twisted and tickled upon noticing how you didn't let go of his hand. The sweet anxiety drew a wider smile on his face as he walked next to you, still holding onto your hand.  He wondered if it was because you were drunk.

The party was barely a 20 minute walk from your house, so Wakatoshi didn't even have to ask where you were going, as he noticed how you took the way uphill, towards your place. 

The wind was chilly, but not enough for it to be a problem. Besides, you were walking, legs warming up as the street inclined slowly. Still holding your hand, every so often, he'd look at you, blessing his eyes and his heart with the gentle sight of the absentminded smile on your face as you hummed. 

He remembered the many times Semi asked you to sing a song with him and record it, but you always refused since you were shy and only sang when you felt comfortable and only around those you trusted the most. 

"[Name], c'mon, your voice is gorgeous!" Semi said one time he showed you a song he'd written, and Wakatoshi had been there in the dorm when it happened. 

Soon, you kept flattering him with subtle actions. Holding his hand, quietly walking uphill in the middle of the night, and now, the soft humming slowly evolving into singing. Your soft voice singing in a low voice, a song he couldn't name, but thought it was a cute song. 

He didn't say anything until you finished singing with a loud sigh. He looked at you dreamily as you looked at your house slowly appearing on the horizon. 

"That was beautiful" 

"Thank you, Toshi" You whispered, savouring his name on your lips. 

The hill was covered in small white houses, all of them looking pretty similar. In front of the stretching wall of houses, there was a lookout, decorated with a nice iron balcony, and one feet tall concrete cubes following the edge of the sidewalk to keep cars for parking near the edge. 

You walked towards the lookout, stopping before one of the concrete cubes and stepping on one of them. 

No longer feeling tipsy, you effortlessly hopped on top, letting go of Wakatoshi's hand in the process and balancing your arms. However, Wakatoshi wasn't sure if you still felt drunk, and instinctively stretched one of his arms to your waist, helping you balance.

"Easy there," He said.

"It's okay, I got this" you said, resting one of your hands on his shoulder. 

Now standing on the concrete cube, you were taller, shortening the height difference between you and your friend. Not used to this new height, you gazed around you. 

"Is this what it feels like being so tall?" You broke the silence as Wakatoshi looked away from the view and towards you. 

"Yeah, I guess" He chuckled softly, gazing at you. 

You locked stares with his olive eyes, thinking it only made sense how many girls fell for those sweet captivating orbs. Sure, he looked stoic most of the time, still his eyes were beautiful. Even more so when he was smiling, just like he was now. 

The sort of comfortable smile that appeared when he was around his close friends, having a good time, not thinking of responsibilities. It was a unique smile you adored so much. And right now, you had that smile to yourself alone. 

"How nice" You murred as your mind focused on his hand, still on your waist. Feeling the weight and the warmth burning through your skin. "Being this tall. Specially for a guy, tall guys are a blessing, I swear, there's something so stupidly attractive about a tall guy" 

"Well, yeah. But finding shoes of my size is kinda of a problem…" You giggled at his remark. "Trousers too" 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Japan isn't precisely tall-people friendly, is it?" You remarked.

"Yeah" Wakatoshi nodded.

"Toshi" 

"Hmm?" 

"Close your eyes" He looked at you and blinked a few times, confused, curious, before asking.

"Okay. What for?" 

"Listen to the city breathe" You closed your eyes and remained silent, trying to focus on the sweet hums of the city, the traces of the sounds that brought a city alive.

"Sometimes I don't understand what you say" He said bluntly, closing his eyes.

"Me neither. And that's okay" You giggled opening your eyes.

You stared at Ushijima savouring the gentle breeze hitting his face, as he listened closely to the sounds of the city. Not noticing you were staring at him with a stare that seemed to melt into a puddle of adoration. 

You leaned closer to him, kissing the corner of his mouth so delicately, Ushijima took a while to realize what had happened. And once he did, he opened his eyes and gazed at you, noticing the blush on your cheeks as your stare seemed to scan his face bit by bit.

"[Name]..." He whispered.

"Did you know" You cut him off with a soft voice "Satori and Semi had a bet going on?" 

"Ye-yeah…" He admitted.

"Those idiots won't tell me who won. Do you happen to know who did?" You raised an eyebrow, knowing he knew, but had your suspicions that he wouldn't tell you either.

"Yes" He said coldly.

"And?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not—" 

"Of course" You interrupted him once more "I should've known that you'd be on their side" You giggled. "Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"I know you like me. And I like you, too. A lot, actually. But always felt a bit scared of saying it" 

Wakatoshi stared at you, wondering where this whole honesty was coming from.  He knew alcohol had this effect in people, but right now you were moving a lot more coordinated and spoke eloquently as always.

"Are you still drunk?" 

"No, not really" You sighed "But, we're graduating next week, and, I promised myself I'd tell you before graduation" 

Something about you enchanted him so much. Your wild, untamed and spontaneous nature, sometimes rubbed off on him. Specially as time went by, he realized he was becoming less and less strict with himself, allowing himself to be spontaneous every once in a while, although, not as frequently as regular people his age were. 

But this time was different. As soon as he thought about it, he acted. He knew that the less he reasoned his thoughts, the easier it'd be to act.

He leaned closer, one of his hands reached your cheek and pulled you closer to him, as he crashed his lips with yours. His lips pressing gently against yours as a surprised hum escaped your lips before giving in to the kiss.

You kissed him back, locking lips and breathing in deeply. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you pulled him closer, eager to feel his body next to yours. He mirrored your movements and squeezed you, snaking his arms around your waist. Very tightly. Such closeness allowed you to feel the rise and fall of his chest as you kissed over and over and over again. He felt the traces of cranberry juice in your breath, though he didn't give it much of a thought, he was far more busy savouring the kiss itself.

The both of you losing all sense of time and orientation. The both of you got lost in the moment, feeling the anxiety build up in your stomach as you remained kissing desperately, as if the world was about to end. 

The kiss that had been haunting him in his dreams finally happened, in a much better way than he ever imagined. Your hands moving across his back, as he felt your fingers brush his hair before you closed your grip on his hair, as your mouth fought for dominance. 

Your tight grip on his hair, along with your tongue teasingly brushing his lip, and your body pressed against his, it all played out like an orchestra. Building the tension, kissing you and holding you close, suddenly wasn't enough. His body urged him for more, in a feeling he knew all too well, but wasn't used to feeling. 

For someone who has had a few girlfriends here and there, none of them ever made him feel like this. For so long he thought love and intimacy weren't as big of a deal as everyone made it out to be. For so long he only thought of his girlfriends as companions, and never really felt the urge to kiss them, to touch them, to hold them close. 

This feeling was too new for him, it made him feel slightly awkward. But you seemed to fully give in and play along with his needy contact. 

You broke the kiss, panting breathless, resting your forehead against Wakatoshi's. 

"Lets go inside" you breathed. 

He nodded, as he wondered what would happen next. He wasn't stupid. He'd seen enough movies and series to know what would happen next. However, he was still so new to the whole thing. Not because he was a virgin, he wasn't. But because sex never appealed to him. The times he'd had sex with his ex girlfriends was mostly out of responsibility, not because he wanted nor felt the urges everyone said teenagers felt. 

However, now everything was different. His heart was racing fast, his mind was clouded, and he felt his blood burning his entire body, especially in awkward areas.

He obediently followed you, as you still clung to his hand. You made your way to your place. Your house was dark, though the dim streetlights filtered through the windows, making it easy to find your way across the blue and yellow halls and towards your bedroom. 

You stopped briefly in the kitchen, where you let go of Wakatoshi's hand and turned on the light. 

"Can I offer you something? Anything? Something to eat, something to drink?" You asked politely. 

"A glass of water would be nice" 

You  nodded and grabbed a couple of glasses and filled them with water silently, feeling slightly nervous at the thought of taking Wakatoshi to your bedroom. 

Not because it was the first time. In fact, he'd spent enough weekends at your place, as you helped him study for tests. Sometimes in a big group, sometimes just the two of you. He wasn't a stranger to your house, nor to your room, not even to your bed, since he'd constantly sit on your bed while studying, and even sometimes he'd fall asleep and nap. 

But this was completely different. Even kissing him felt slightly weird. Not in a bad way. In fact, you'd been fantasizing about that moment for a long while now. But, the idea of taking him to your room in this context made you anxious. Almost as if you were a virgin all over again. 

You handed him his glass and jerked your head, as if telling him to follow you through the stairs and towards your room. 

Wakatoshi definitely liked your room. He always felt at peace there. It was minimal, yet, everything about it screamed your name. It felt like a second home to him.

With barely any furniture. Just a single night stand, standing tall next to the mattress on the ground. Several piles of stacked books working as tables for random trinkets you've been collecting along the way. A small coffee table next to your bed which you used as a desk with a lot of stationary messily lying around. Despite spending the weekends in the Shiratorizawa dorms, your room smelled a lot of your perfume, and that was probably his favorite part of your room. A smell he resembled a lot to home. A smell he was so eager to get drunk of.

He followed you silently towards your room, as you walked inside, placing the glass on the coffee table. Wakatoshi replicated your movements. As you sat on the edge of the bed, you waited for Wakatoshi to do the same. And once he did, you nervously wrapped your arms around him, and brought him closer, kissing him once more. 

The same hunger as before lit up instantly, as the anxiety building up in his belly only made it all worse. He clung to you, desperately, as if he was about to lose you. 

A moan escaped your throat in the middle of the fiery kiss, prompted by his strong arms squeezing you against him. That moan made his back shiver, as he felt a rather familiar heat grow in his crotch. 

You leaned back, without breaking the kiss, and your arms still around his shoulders, you brought him along with you as you laid on the bed. Wakatoshi leaned closer, resting his weight on one of his forearms against the mattress, and using his free hand to cling to your waist.  

"[Name]" he purred in a gentle voice, breaking the kiss and looking into your eyes.

Swallowed by the darkness, your eyes shone with the reflection of the streetlight as you looked at him both devouring him with a tender stare. Inviting him to keep going. Only making his whole body get hotter and hotter. He wondered if your heart beated as fast as his, and if you were starting to feel as horny as he was. 

Horny, he thought. Just thinking about it made him feel weird. Dirty. He'd never really felt horny. And now he was not only feeling that way, but because of you. His best friend. He wasn't supposed to be feeling like this because of one of his friends, was it? He knew it was wrong. But kissing you felt so right. The dichotomy only made him feel more and more turned on. Maybe it was wrong to feel horny for one of your friends, but he'd been a good boy and followed the rules for as long as he can remember. Maybe, going bad from time to time wasn't so bad. He felt an urge to misbehave and be spontaneous. He felt an urge to take you and make you his. 

"Lay down" You said sitting up as he looked at you, puzzled.

"What?" 

"You heard me! lay down, big boy" You said playfully as Wakatoshi did as you told. 

You thought of crawling on top of him before it occurred to you to go to your mother's room and look for something in her drawers. You stood on your feet and looked at Toshi as his olive eyes seemed to shine in golden tones amongst the darkness painted with dim lights.

"Give me a minute, okay? I won't take long" you said shyly. 

"Where are you—" 

"Make yourself at home!" You said before rushing out of your room and into your mother's across the hall. 

Being a single mother, and having your only child attend a school with dorms sure gave you the liberty of bringing partners into your home without worrying that your child will break in, ruining the intimacy. And you thought it was great. How awkward must it be to arrive home and find your mother banging some dude? Besides, you knew where her condom stash was. 

You looked through her drawer and grabbed a few condoms for yourself before rushing back in the room. The anxiety building a knot in your throat as the condoms seemed to weight a lot more than they usually did. As you walked inside, you found Wakatoshi comfortably  lying on your bed, eyes closed, and breathing in deeply, getting drunk with your scent. 

The weep of the old wooden door caught his attention as he saw you walk inside, closing the door behind you. You approached the bed without saying anything. Kneeling, you put the condoms over the coffee table and took off your shirt without saying anything. 

Wakatoshi's heart skipped several beats, as he forgot to breathe upon seeing you. Your chest now exposed him, making him feel thirsty, as his eyes traveled up your belly and to your chest. Realising he'd been staring at your breast, still hidden under a bra, he looked up, meeting your stare. 

Speechless, his body paralysed briefly. And you began crawling on top of him. He felt his body begin shaking softly in anticipation, as his head felt lighter. He was nervous. He was excited, and delighted.

His hands found your waist and pulled you towards him, before trapping your lips in a breathless kiss. His digits were quick to travel across your back, feeling goosebumps surfacing your skin. Playing with the hook of your bra, and the delicate straps on your shoulders, he felt the urge to tear your clothes off at once, but at the same time, he wanted to taste the whole scene. 

The heat was getting out of hand, as he broke the kiss and pushed you aside gently so he could take his shirt off  before lying back on the mattress, and pulling you on top of him once more.

The blissful moment he felt your weight fall over his naked chest, all traces of anxiety and shy insecurity were gone. Now replaced with a needy urge he still felt ashamed of admitting. Caught in another hot wet kiss,  you noticed Ushijima struggling to unhook your bra. You giggled into his lips before helping him out and taking your bra off. 

He broke the kiss with a soft grunt. He sat up, as you followed him, sitting on his lap. He kissed your neck and your shoulders. You whimpered, whispering his name as he kissed and bit your skin like a hungry animal. 

His hands made their way to your breasts as he held them firmly, squeezing them, and feeling the satisfaction of stealing a loud moan from your lips.

"You like this?" He asked, genuinely curious, as you nodded breathlessly. 

"Don't stop, Toshi" you breathed as he kissed your jaw. "Toshi" 

 He growled, as your nipples puckered between his fingers, teasingly pulling and squeezing, as his name continued to echo the room between moans.

"I like hearing you call my name" He purred against the skin of your neck.

"Oh, you're in for a ride, babe. I'm just getting started" You chuckled. 

Hearing you call him that made his heart squeeze dearly. Babe. He never actually had his ex girlfriends call him anything but by his first name. God, his girlfriends were so unbearably polite, and his relationships were so short, they never got to stick around long enough to give him any sort of pet name. 

"You okay?" You asked upon noticing how he had been staring at you for a few seconds, as he tried to assimilate those feelings of passion and endearment consuming him. 

"Yeah" He purred "You're beautiful" 

"Gosh, are you always this sweet to your girlfriends?" You whimpered kissing the corner of his mouth.

"Just you," He said, closing his eyes, enjoying the trail of delicate kisses you left across his face. 

"Kiss me, Toshi" You murmured "I want you so bad, babe" 

His arms around you squeezed you once more, as he desperately kissed you once more.

"You've got me, darling" he whispered between kisses.

Wakatoshi swallowed your moans into the kiss, as his hands kept traveling up and down your body. Your warmth around him, your smell caressing him delicately, and your lips melting into his, with the purest of feelings melting all around you. 

He had never felt like this before. He had never felt so eager to feel someone against his burning skin. He never felt the desire to pleasure someone else for his own pleasure. This newfound passion burned so good, he could understand how people could easily become addicted to sex.

He broke the kiss, cupping your cheek in one of his big hands, as he kissed your cheeks, going down your jaw and neck. He stopped there and snuggled his face on the crook of your neck, and took a deep breath, feeling like the world was spinning too fast. He felt euphoric, ecstatic, marveled. 

"What is it?" You broke the silence, brushing his hair with your fingers.

"I'm enjoying this" He purred, squeezing you once more, as you kissed his head and hugged him back.

"You're adorable" You admitted.

"Thanks," He said, satisfied.

"Toshi?" You broke the hug, looking at him in the eye, and feeling your cheeks blush at the thought of what you were about to ask. This made you feel particularly silly, since you'd done this several times before, and you hadn't felt this shy in a long time.

"Yes, darling?" He said looking into your eyes.

"Let me do something for you" 

"What is it?" 

"Do you ever not ask questions?" Your voice suddenly was loud with amusement.

"I don't think so, no" He chuckled awkwardly. 

"Such a curious mind, are you not? How precious, how delicious" You sang.

"You're talking weirdly again, [Name]" He said amused by how dreamily you looked when you suddenly started talking like that.

"I'm not gonna apologise for spending my free time reading poetry and writing poetic prose" You snapped, idly playing with the button of his jeans.

"You should write a book" he said, noticing the way your fingers were moving, trying to delicately undo his jeans.

"Oh, I'm gonna. Just you wait" He felt nervous and hot as your fingers lingered in his crotch, as he felt his erection keep throbbing in anticipation.

"I've never asked you but, what do you write about?" He stuttered, trying to distract himself from the gentle touch of your hands against him.

"So many years of friendship and you've never asked. That is true. That's true for you and pretty much all of my friends, except for Semi. But because he writes too. Although, he writes music. I write about my life and the people in it" Using your speech to distract him and to calm your nerves, you finally brought yourself to undo his jeans, stealing a quick growl from Wakatoshi.

"Have you written something about me?" He asked, feeling his head turn feverish with desire, as your fingers dragged the zipper down, releasing his still clothed erection.

"If I had a coin for every single question that comes from your beautiful lips…" Following your words, your eyes locked on his swollen lips, as you bit yours, feeling your heart beat hard against your chest "Lay down, babe" 

"[Name], what are you—" 

"Relax, if you trust me, close your eyes" Your voice was once more as a soft seductive purr. And as Wakatoshi did as you told, his face blushed, burning aggressively. 

"I trust you with everything I've got" Your touch caressing his erection as you pulled down his underwear, enough for his dick to spring free. 

"God, you're big" You gasped breathless.

"Ah, [Name], you-you don't have to—" He began, and stopped, gasping, when he felt your lips gently lick and kiss the head.

"But I want this. I want you to enjoy the night" Your breath hit his sensitive skin, as his breath shook nervously.

"I've been enjoying this since the moment I saw you" He admitted, his face blushed and his eyes shut tight as he felt your mouth taking him in, slowly at first "Fuck, [Name]" 

You kept going, trying your best to slowly make your way down his length. Your jaw was beginning to feel numb, as you painfully bobbed your head. Motivated by the sweet obscene sounds Wakatoshi let out. Your name echoing every now and then. Looking up, you managed to gaze at Toshi, peeking through your lashes, as the image of his face flushed, consumed by lust, only added to the heat building between your legs. 

As you got used to the gagging, and his length, it became easier for you to keep going. Sometimes swallowing to tighten your grip around his dick, and making him grunt louder than ever. His hand played with your hair, as you kept going and going. His heart beating faster by the second as he began feeling his orgasm approaching. 

"[Name], stop" He gasped breathless "Come here, darling. I-Im close" He whined, however, you ignored him and sped up your pace "Ple-please, baby" He begged. 

He pushed his head back, rocking his hips, making his cock go deeper into your mouth. Hands gripping firmly to the bed sheets. His body shaking in ecstasy, as he felt closer and closer to his release. He came inside your mouth, as his warm cum tickled the back of your mouth as it shot down your throat. You swallowed, savoring his salty bitter release. The sound of his moans tickling your belly.

"Did you like it?" You coughed, your voice raspy.

"Ye-yeah" He gasped "You didn't listen to me, though" 

"Oh, I didn't have any intention of doing so" You admitted, smiling satisfied at him.

"I've never had anyone do that to me" He said, finally catching his breath, as the world regained its focus again and he saw your cheeky smile.

"Well" you shrugged "you had a thing for sweet and shy virgin girls, so, it shouldn't come as a surprise" 

"You aren't like that," He continued.

"Of course not" 

"Come here, it's my turn" His gaze suddenly turned darker, sending shivers down your spine as you did as he said.

He hooked an arm around your waist and swiftly threw you to the mattress as he got up on his knees and took off his jeans along with his underwear before leaning down and doing the same to you. 

His fingers lingered on the hem of your panties once he took off your jeans and proceeded to kiss your belly. His lips drawing soft patterns on your skin as his fingers played with the fabric of your panties as you gasped and gasped in anticipation. 

He began pulling down your panties, and felt his hit breath close to your sex as you bit your lip, wondering what did he have in mind. 

He kissed your folds before one of his fingers began exploring your slit, as his lips and tongue focused on your clit.

"[Name], you're so wet" he purred before kissing your clit once more.

"Yeah, well...that's your fault, pretty boy" you gasped as one of his fingers effortlessly slid inside you, stretching your walls. 

He moaned against your skin, upon feeling your warmth contract around his fingers, as a second digit made its way inside. 

"Toshi," you cried, running your hands through his hair as he looked up. His now lustful honey eyes looking at you like a predator gazing at its prey "Toshi, that feels so good" you said breathlessly before collapsing your head on the pillow. 

God, what were you doing to him? This was so unlike him. He was usually so quiet, so polite, so squared, always playing by the rules with a weird fascination. But now, he was acting on pure instinct. Your smell, your warmth, the sound of your voice,  it all was driving him crazy. He was letting his most primitive judgment take over as he mindlessly pleasured you with his tongue and fingers making you reach your orgasm. 

"To-Toshi" You whined feeling the buildup of your climax, tightening your grip on his hair and arching your back, shaking uncontrollably as your sight blurred, the loudest of moans escaped your throat as everything began to burn in the most delicious of ways. 

Your walls squeezing his fingers, trapping him, as he bit your clit gently, making you moan even louder due to the overstimulation. 

He smiled proudly at himself, as you returned from your high. Glad that he'd made you cum so effortlessly, feeling so unbearably turned on by your needy cries. He pulled his fingers out of you, covered in slick and licked them clean before crawling on top of you. 

You were quick to wrap your arms around him and pull him close. Desperately kissing his lips in a passionate messy kiss. He could tell you were breathless, and completely undone underneath him, but still needy, clinging to him desperately as you wrap your legs around his hips and bring him closer. 

"[Name]" he gasps, feeling your wet folds rubbing and dripping all over his erection accidentally, thinking he might lose control any time and just take you raw. "Do you have—" 

"Coffee table" you breathe before he can even finish.

He moves quickly and swiftly off of you, grabbing one of the condoms and opening it hastily. 

"Wait, let me do this" you say with a lewd voice, as Wakatoshi gazes at you. Playfully you take the condom off his hands and gently run your fingers through his erection. The idea of taking all of him both excited and terrified you, and tried not to think much about it by slowly unfolding the condom along his length, your fingers lingering teasingly and tickling him as he growled lowly. 

"God, [Name], what're you doing to me?" He purred leaning down and kissing you feverishly as once more you wrapped your legs around his waist and he positioned himself. "Can I?" 

"Fuck yes. Yes, yes, please" you begged, as he pushed his shaft inside your folds, slowly, gently. 

He knew he was a big guy. Big enough to not being able to fully go inside without hurting his girlfriend in turn. So, he expected you to tell him when you'd had enough of his length. However, you didn't. The deeper he went, the more you clawed your nails to his biceps. 

"When you want me to stop, just say it" 

"No, I want all of you" You whined, making his erection throb inside you 

"Doesn't it hurt?"  He purred, his eyes looking into yours.

"It does, but it feels so good. Please don't stop, Toshi, keep going" You breathed "Please"  

He felt a shiver run down his back as he kept going. Your moans getting louder and your voice going a few notes higher, your face blushed, eyes shut. He was captivated by your look. You'd gone from enchanting and teasing siren to a completely submissive and shy doll. You gasped his name once he fully went inside, enjoying your warmth all along his dick. 

He pulled out slowly before thrusting back in at the same speed as before. Once you'd gotten used to his length, you were dripping wet with arousal and opened your eyes to meet his. 

"Toshi, faster" you whispered with the neediest of voices, tickling his gut.  

"Darling I—" 

"Babe, please. I'm gonna be fine" Hearing the sweet sound of your voice dripping with lust made it hard for him to disobey. 

And as he sped up, your moans did too. He was beginning to feel a loss of control, as his thrust not only sped up, but became stronger. Your moans, washed with pleasure, soon got mixed with painful wines. Upon hearing the first one, he stopped at once. 

"I-I'm sorry...are you—" He whispered. 

"Yeah. Keep going. Toshi, it feels so fucking good, I swear. Don't stop babe" You begged as he began moving once more, pounding you, just like before. Stretching you, hitting you in the right places, as your toes curled un pleasure. 

"Fuck, [Name]" Wakatoshi purred against your ear bwfore kissing your neck. "No girl has ever taken all of me before" 

"Cowards" You sighed, swallowing a moan "You know what that means?" 

Wakatoshi brushed his nose against yours and looked into your eyes, drowned in lust, with clear traces of affection melting together. 

"What?" 

"You're mine, and only mine" You cupped his face in your hands and brought him close to you. Kissing him in a rather sweet kiss, as he kept thrusting in and out.

"That's fine by me" He said between breaths before kissing you once more. As you moaned into his mouth, you swallowed his low grunts, both of your passions burning together. 

You broke the kiss, and locked.eyes with him as he pulled out ready to lush his length back in

"And I'm yours, Wakatoshi" You said, before a loud moan escaped your lips as Toshi filled you up, stronger than before. His heart squeezing, as he stole a breathless kiss from your lips. 

He whispered your name between kisses as his pace quickened. Your moans getting progressively louder and louder, as sweet nothings escaped his lips. Hypnotizing you, your hearts beating fast and synchronized. Your nails clawing on his skin, as he felt his orgasm build up once more. Giving in to the sound of your moans, and the arching of your back, it didn't take long for him to reach his second release. He came, burying his face in your neck as you gasped for air.

"Toshi, please. Don't stop. I'm close" 

"[Name]" He panted as he sped up, stronger and faster than before. Your arms around his shoulders squeezed, as your nails dug into his skin. His name escaping your lips in tasty moans as you felt your core burn. Just like before, your walls tightened. He groaned loudly, feeling how your core closed in around his erection, squeezing him deliciously as you rode your orgasm. He kissed your neck, as your back and neck arched. 

Your grip softened, as your body relaxed, breathing deeply, trying to catch your breath. Wakatoshi kissed you, tenderly, as you regained focus of the world. Still inside you, you tightened your legs around his hips to keep him from slipping out. You brushed his hair, melting your lips into his in a sweet gentle kiss. 

He wished to remain like this forever. Just the both of you, caught in an euphoric ecstasy. Vulnerable, and exposed, clinging to that moment with sleepy kisses and sweet nothings. He finally slipped out and lied in bed next to you.  Wrapping his arms around you, still wanting to feel every inch of your body against his. Agitated breaths filling the silence in the room, as fingers entwined mindlessly. Legs tangled. 

Wakatoshi had never felt this much bliss in this entire life. He could stay like this forever, holding you close to him. You stared into each other's eyes, understanding how each other felt, without the need for words. He wondered if this was what people called intimacy. He felt so incredibly vulnerable, however, he knew everything was going to be okay. He felt safe and comfortable with you, and wondered if you felt as vulnerable as him.

"[Name]" wakatoshi broke the silence "didn't that...hurt?" 

"It did, but it felt so good. Toshi, you have no idea how much I enjoyed that" You sighed, snuggling your face against his neck

"Oh, god. Good. I was worried I'd hurt you" He sighed.

"Did you?" 

"Huh?" He looked at you clueless, suddenly forgetting what you'd just said.

"Enjoy it?" You asked. 

"I've never had sex like that before" Ghb e murmured looking away from your eyes.

"Define that" you giggled.

"It was great. It was different to what I'm used to. I really enjoyed it" 

"What are you used to?" Wakatoshi remained pensative for several seconds, recalling the memories of the times he'd sex with his exes. 

"Shy, silent, a bit...robotic" 

"Damn, Toshi. Did you actually like any of the girls you fucked?" You snapped as Wakatoshi looked at you in the eye.

"You" he said bluntly, as you felt yourself blush wildly in a single second.

"Other than me, silly. But thank you"

"I-I...I think so. I dont know. I've never liked a girl as much as I like you, that much is true as well" 

"Terrible decision, really…" You chuckled.

"Are you kidding me? You're perfect, despite what everyone says about you. You're perfect for me, [Name]. I like you, and trust you, and really enjoy our company...” He muttered “I don’t feel awkward after having sex with you, and I enjoyed it at all. For once I had fun and didn't feel like a chore nor..."

"I feel bad for your exes, Toshi. But at the same time not. If they had a taste of this, I'm pretty sure they would've refused to let you go so easily. So, I'm glad I don't have to share this experience with anyone of them" 

"Does that mean you're not gonna let me go so easily?"

"I'm not letting you go, period. Unless you want to, of course. But if I wasn't going to let you go, as a friend. After this...I-I...you get my point"

He didn't. But he could tell you were feeling uncomfortable by how easily you became speechless. He wondered what had gone through your mind to make you go silent and shy in a second.

"You're far too precious to me to forget about you. You've always been."

"God, so that's why all of your little fans and your exes hated me. You always found the time to hang out with me even when you spent the entire day training prepping for Nationals, didn't you?" 

"Before tonight, I already knew I didn't want to lose you. After tonight, I'm sure I don’t want to kiss, nor hold any other girl who isn’t you" 

"Toshi, call me crazy, but that's not news, but…" 

"Yeah?" 

"I've liked you for almost two years now, and...That’s a lot, you know? I’ve never had feelings for someone for this long...and—" You stopped, feeling how your heart suddenly went crazy.

"What is it?"

"God, if this were happening to me, I'd definitely think if this was a big red flag, how much lower can I sink?" You giggled nervously before looking back into Wakatoshi's eyes "I think I'm in love with you" 

"I think…" Wakatoshi muttered as his brain quickly jumped and did the math, still processing what you'd told him "Tendo lost the bet" 

"What?"  You kept laughing awkwardly, trying to keep your panic under control.

"When I told Tendo I had feelings for you, he got all excited, saying he had won the bet…" Wakatoshi recalled. "But that was a year and a half ago. But I'm starting to think it was actually Semi who won the bet" 

"Oh...okay…" You blinked confused. "Are you gonna tell them?"

"Does it matter? [Name], I honestly do not care who's the rightful winner of that bet" 

Wkatoshi lifted your chin with his finger and leaned closer, sealing his lips with yours in a tender kiss.A kiss you wished had lasted a little longer. Such a sweet, delicate kiss, long enough to leave you breathless instantly, and short enough to leave you wanting more. The sort of kiss you wished to get every day from him. 

"I love you too, [Name]” He purred, his nose brushing against yours, as you savoured not only the aftertaste of his kiss, but savouring his words. 

You leaned closer, stealing a second hiss from him, as he, very obediently kissed you back. Wrapping your arms around him, you brought him closer, as he groaned softly into your lips, adjusting himself. Slowly, crawling on top of you once more, you wrapped our legs around his waist, and your arms around his back, desiring to feel his weight on top of you once more. He breathed your name between kisses, as his fingers mindlessly played with your hair, as both your lips kept dancing together, slowly, tenderly, passionately. 

The fear and the anxiety had been long gone. Now, the consuming and intrusive thoughts of how wrong it was to be kissing your best friend were now replaced by a comfortable sense of security, as your love confessions played in each other’s head. The heat kept increasing and increasing, just like the sound of our moans and grunts. It was much less awkward this second round, maybe was the lack of clothes, or maybe the fact that you already knew how the other felt. This newfound intimacy was everything Wakatoshi needed. He loved the feeling of reciprocity, as the same desperation to feel you closer, not only irradiated from him, but also from you. The physical closeness as well as the emotional closeness pulled you together like a tender hug. 

You wasted the night away learning more about each other on a physical level. What each other liked, what you didn't. Holding each other close, tasting each other, over and over again until the both of you were completely satisfied and exhausted. You soon fell asleep in each other's arms. 

Wakatoshi knew he didn't want to spend his nights with any other girl who wasn't you. He didn't want to kiss any other girl who wasn't you. And god, he felt like the luckiest man alive. By the end of the night, he was yours. and you were his.

[og-danny-dorito]

Hancock SFW Headcanons To Satiate My Undying Thirst for This Raisin

this is dedicated to all of my 12 year old monster/humanoid obsessions, and to the ones which may follow such as this mans, John Hancock, the mayor of Goodneighbor. because I'll be damned if I see a ghoul and don't become immediately attracted to them. also these weren't requested, but @thatwolfnamednyla​ seemed interested so i'll tag them (i can remove the tag too if you want me to, just let me know).

<---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

S F W :

- ok so, I’m gonna start off with physical headcanons because it’s easier for me to base everything off of that 

- since most of the heights in the game are the same and they don’t really give any actual canon heights for them, I’d say that he’s about 5”5 because I love the imagine of a short man with a knife. like-

- yeah he’s definitely powerful and strong willed and mental the opposite of a short baby man, but like can you just imagine some dude walking up to you and having to look up at you because he’s small? Especially a high af ghoul man small boy? an artistic virtue

- that, and he’s generally the most crackhead out of all the companions 

- like he’s the guy to go to if you’re itching to bust out some chems and go shoot at random shit in the middle of the night cause he’s just that kinda dude 

- he lives for the thrill of things, and so obviously someone equally as crackhead as he is would fit him perfectly, but for the sake of actual relationship building I’d say that he’s better fit with a rational crackhead 

- like yeah, going out and getting yourself fucked up is great, but like not to the point of getting yourself so fucked up beyond repair, yknow? someone who takes a second and a half to think his crazy ass ideas through and THEN do it with him is the best person for the job as his metaphorical babysitter 

- and he really likes to be taken care of because he’s a sucker for that shit. I would say that he has a daddy/mommy kink but like these aren’t nsfw and so I’m not gonna bust out that nasty shit just yet 

- that said, being his partner doesn’t have very specific guidelines. being pansexual AND polyamorous allows him to love freely as he was genetically destined to anyway 

- seriously, he’s attracted to you if you say something nice to him and show a little bit of interest that’s just how it is. he doesnt really think of appearances unless he's only out for dick

- he doesn’t really have a specific type either??? but he finds timid and nervous people so fucking cute. like,,, if you keep apologizing because of small things he’ll ruffle your hair and start calling you ‘kid’ and ‘sweetie’ cause honestly it’s just so sweet to see you get all nervous and shy 

- it literally makes him want to fistfight someone in an abandoned parking lot for you and he can't help his protectionist ways

- like he likes to be taken care of yeah, but he ends up setting y��all in the ‘give some get some’ scenario where it’s more of a partnership 

- jokingly calls you ‘smoothskin’ even if your skin isn’t smooth like you’re scarred or something. it cracks him up because he does it in a smoker voice too but he already sounds like a smoker so he ends up coughing a little bit after in between laughs 

- biggest goofball on the planet 

- will literally play pranks on you because he finds it funny, like using makeshift pre-war whoopee cushion and shit like that. will also 100% love it if you prank him back. he doesn’t take much seriously and so any form of mild joking makes him genuinely happy 

- if you’re inclined to more permanent relationships however, this could become an issue. not the whole whoopee cushion thing the seriousness thing

- just because he does sleep with other people and lowkey tell you all the time about how “That raider was packin, and I don’t mean to be a whore but honestly like if he wanted some he could get some.”, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. it’s just that it’s normal for him to be attracted to other people at the same time. it can be more than one person at once, which can sometimes be a problem if more traditional people not cool with it 

- confronting him about it either to confirm it negatively or positively depends on your preference. he didn’t really think of this as permanent in the first place, more of a friends with benefits situation where you also benefit each other with extreme emotional support, and so you wanting to make it serious will trigger his fear of commitment 

- therefore, if you’re not okay with it he may have a hard time adapting, but if he’s really grown on you then he can try to be better about it. he won’t make the one he loves uncomfortable without their permission, but he’ll try his best to explain it (the best that he can doesn't necessarily that he’ll do it well though) 

- if you’re alright with it then he will most likely bring up the topic of either threesomes/poly-somes and/or adding someone else to your romantic stuff or something like that if either of areyou is interested. communication is key in this sort of thing, and so he’ll almost always go to you before like trying to initiate anything with someone after talking with them and you about the situation 

- oh did I mention fear of commitment? Cause I’m about to get real angsty 

- MAN does he have an issue with it. not only that, but the reason he doesn’t really view this thing as permanent is because he’s fairly certain he’ll outlive you. he's terrified of loosing you one day and then not knowing what the he'll to do with himself for the rest of his life. he’s scared of being tied down it totally goes against his whole thing of freedom, and since he’s already conflicted about anarchy and order he literally avoids thinking about settling down with anyone or anything 

- he’s holding onto a past that brought him joy then, but could ruin him now. and the best way to deal with that is to try to get through it as best as you can and leave the past behind, but he still finds himself reminiscing about things that could’ve happened 

- it keeps him up sometimes, thinking about it. he’ll lay flat on his back in bed, staring at the ceiling for hours at a time just... thinking. and only when he’s lightly pressed about it will he say something, and even then it seems more like he’s struggling to find the words. It’s weird how he can talk to goodneighbor’s citizens like it’s nothing, but talking about himself gets him all choked up 

- he would very much like it if you just like, kissed his face or hold his hand sometimes. to him it speaks more than a thousand words, and if he’s really having a hard time it means everything for you to be there for him 

- that, and with the fact that you’re his best friend means that you’re his ride or die partner in crime 

- just sitting around and doing chems with you and getting all philosophical or doing dumb shit is pretty much all he needs to be satisfied with you, and he really likes hearing you talk about pre-war society 

- whether your views are negative or positive, he likes hearing about the way things used to work. he likes your stories about how you grew up and how you came to be who you are today, and a lot of the time he finds himself asking you about something he doesn’t know because you’re technically the ultimate source of knowledge on that stiff by this point 

- you’d have to assure him that you didn’t know everything and no, you had no idea what year that random object he found was made, but he likes it anyway. you pique his interest, and just sharing a few mindset traits with you makes him feel much more secure and like you’ve got something that matters to the both of you 

- that, and he thinks you’re the coolest motherfucker on the planet 

- he’d probably be more attracted to free spirits, those who hold a strong moral code and defend it like it’s their lifeline. obviously he has a wide range of romantic and causal interest guidelines, but that’s the key point there. Someone who stands for what they believe in and protects those around them 

- and NOW for my favorite part, miscellaneous headcanons ; 

he’s probably the most openly sexual out of all the companions besides Gage, but tbh gage isn't down to walk naked through commonwealth and he is so obviously he’s the most freaky 

he’s more himbo oriented, although with this chart done originally by @cockneydio​

I can tell you that he’s this 👌 close to being a feral himbo and is probably turned on by danger so you can already tell what kinda bitch he is 

he likes to give you his jacket when you’re cold or he just feels like it and it usually smells like cigarettes and gunpowder 

thinks that pastel colors and soft clothes are kind of cute on people for some reason 

is a sucker for pda, might die if you kiss on his neck or tell him he looks nice that day while you’re in public. Also super into just randomly slapping your ass because he finds it hilarious (slapping his ass in turn earns you a flirty comment and a mildly turned on raisin man) 

loves receiving gifts from you and equally as much giving them, which is commonly just cool little things he’s found and thought you would like 

makes cheesy pick up lines all the time and you can’t change my mind 

would die for pet names, given or received. like yes call him “honey” and “sugar” he will MELT he's just a big nerd

he's kinda self conscious about himself around you, but likes phsycial contact too much to deny himself of it so he's literally always attached to you and/or on top of you if he can help it

- hancock isn’t feral, but he sure does act like it sometimes. what he needs is someone who can balance him out and give him the space when he needs it, and who genuinely cares about he people around them regardless of who or what they are. just being there for him on the bad days means the world to him, and he wouldn’t give what y'all have up for all the caps and chems in the world

[gizkasparadise]

kdrama rec/review: bridal mask

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: bridal mask / gaksital Episodes: 28 Genres: historical, action, drama, romance, tragedy, people screaming each others’ names in all capital letters 2006 anime style Spoilers in the Rec: im going to try to avoid them. im really, really going to try. but no guarantees If You Like, You’ll Like: zorro, robin hood, v for vendetta, chicago typewriter, vigilante shit, kate beaton comics on My Nemesis, mr sunshine, watching people become progressively unhinged, bad guys that become good guys, good guys that become bad guys, Parallel Narratives, cat and mouse games but they’re both cats, 2010 hair in a 1930s world, people in a room together internally thinking does he know that i know that he knows?

Rank: 9.5/10

GAKSITALLLLLLLLLLLLLL PREMISE

set during the japanese occupation of korea in the 1930s, bridal mask centers on lee kangto, an absolute shit weasel. like. good god, what an asshole. anyways.

kangto is a korean police officer who is employed by the japanese--meaning he’s essentially a rat/turncoat to his own people and supporting their colonization and abuse of power. it’s especially fucked up because kangto’s older brother was tortured so much by japanese police officers that he’s essentially lost his mind. people hate kangto. straight up hate him. 

as a lieutenant in the imperial police, kangto’s been working to catch members of the korean resistance movement, but left and right he’s been thwarted by...

THE BRIDAL MASK (gaksital in korean)

a mysterious figure who wears a mask resembling a korean bride’s traditional makeup. bridal mask is essentially zorro, fucking up shit left and right and generally making kangto lose his shit. he makes it his goal to be the one to apprehend and arrest this mysterious figure. seems straightforward, but as kangto’s search for the bridal mask continues, and the people around him are drawn into the hunt, it’s clear that shit’s not what it seems.

MAIN CHARACTERS

lee kangto/sato hiroshi/lee young

a korean man who works for the japanese as a police officer. 0% approval rating from the koreans and maybe a 5% approval rating from the japanese. kangto’s initial goals for joining the police force were to help his family get out of poverty, but his morality’s been cha-cha sliding progressively darker the longer he works for the police force. he becomes obsessed with catching the bridal mask and everyone would like him to really quit being an asshole but he will not.

catch phrase is bingo! takes over the nightclub stage when he’s feeling swaggy. would shoot the love interest. shoots pretty much anyone wearing a mask, really, then yells about it

oh mok dan / mild spoiler: esther / spoiler: boon yi

a patriotic korean woman associated with the independence army, mok dan commits acts of subterfuge and gathers intel against the japanese forces. her day job is a performer at a circus, where she lives and hides out from japanese officials whenever shit goes awry. when lee kangto sees her getting saved by bridal mask, he assumes she’s the bridal mask’s lover and therefore intends to use mok dan as The Bait. mild spoilers it turns out she was once childhood friends with lee kangto’s best friend, kimura shunji 

wears many amazing suits. has no problem with spitting or shooting. fears no boxes. can take a punch or 5. basically my dream girl it’s fine

kimura shunji

a japanese man and kangto’s best friend. coming from a family of influential, imperialist asshole samurai cops, shunji is the black sheep as he works as a music teacher for korean children, and is generally against the corruption and abuse of power when he sees it. basically the only one kangto’s never a straight up asshole to, including his family. the two practice what appears to be kendo together (i know jack shit about martial arts), and shunji’s a capable fighter. my default is to assume shunji is everyone’s favorite character, because he is my favorite character :’D, but if not i think he’s definitely the most compelling in the series.

wears bowties when he wants to dress to impress. rides bicycles both happily and tragically. has a thing for a childhood friend who saved his nanny. will give you a ride home after you’ve been tortured. save this man from his family. 

ueno rie/ra ra/ spoiler: chae hong joo

a korean woman from a rich family that was murdered by the independence army who later became a gisaeng. as a gisaeng, she crosses paths with a very important japanese man who later adopts her into his family. because the japanese police keep fucking up the apprehension of bridal mask, her adoptive father calls her to korea from japan in order to kill the vigilante

stealth fave?! will step all over you and makes grown men cry. hyper competent and hardcore. bridal mask’s best dressed (try again with the bow ties next year, shunji). men are weak

the bridal mask GAKSITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the mysterious figure either ruining or making everyone’s day. dramatic horse escapes. dramatic rescues. generally just drama. symbolically destroys japanese flags/insignia a lot. GAKSITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS SELECTED BY HOW MUCH THEY ARE MY FAVORITES 

mok damsari

mok dan’s father and a general in the independence army. v good at being rescued dramatically. knows how to make an exit and also bombs. dispenses life wisdom when he’s got free time in between rounds of being torture

lee kang san

kang to’s older brother, who joined the independence army and was tortured by the japanese police to the extent that he’s now lost his mind/severely mentally ill. dude just needs a hug or 20 and to never chase after a car ever, ever again because it makes me sad.

katsuyama jun

ueno rie’s bodyguard, which is amusing to me because she can clearly kill anyone she needs to, so it’s kind of like he’s a butler as well. stoic af, says maybe 20 lines in the entire series, but look, he’s cool

i dont like any of the japanese police officers because they’re dicks so they don’t get a feature :| 

Drawbacks

the production value is something you gotta settle into LOL. there’s the cheesy martial arts sound effects, sometimes it skews a little narmy, but once you get used to it and once the show gets progressively darker (and how) you adjust and then don’t notice it

my main #1 beef: mok dan starts to disappear in the last fourth of the series. like she’s still there, but she’s doing bullshit like making soup and just sitting at a table with nothing to say. as a character that’s so important in the first half, it’s severely disappointing the route that her narrative takes toward the end/she does become something of a satellite character even though i still love her

there are main character deaths--more than one. some people would say the ending is bittersweet but to me i think it’s straight-up sad (which is fine with me/appropriate for the story, i just know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea)

there’s torture and for the most part it’s shown / it’s not off-camera

shit gets dark. the first handful of eps might lull one into thinking is something like zorro or robin hood, but there’s a lot of fuckery and death by the time you get to the end

Reasons to Watch

i mean, it’s fun! which is a messed up thing to say about a dark show, but there’s a lot of twists and the show’s an extended game of cat-and-mouse that’s a good time because the audience knows certain things but the main characters don’t. the drama of it all!

Now That’s What I Call Character Arcs. kang to + shunji’s respective character arcs are amazing and are referred to as the best part of the show for a reason. you’ll hate and love them both throughout the series and it’s great. shunji was my favorite

i love both the female leads a lot. they’re totally different in personality and the sides that they’re on, but they’re both compelling and they have their own troubles and goals to work through 

one of the main characters looks around the chaos happening and decides to just fucking leave all these people behind forever lmao i love it

acting is great! some people knock on mok dan’s actress but i thought she was perfectly fine for the character 

i’ll admit, i’m into characters who become progressively unhinged and the actor who plays the character who does is so so A+

there’s romance but gd does it get dark sometimes. this is a plus or a minus depending on who you are lol

Final Thoughts.

[hollowphobia-casual]

The Amazing World Of Friendship Part MMXIX, The Return Of The Rising Awakened Empire

It’s that time of year again! The time I let down my defences and expose my emotions bare to all my friends so that I may thank and gush all over them, because despite my cynical hate filled shell, deep, deep, deep, deep, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep down I’m actually someone who just wants to be loved, maybe.

But joking and honest truths disguised as jokes aside, there is something I would like to say, most of the time.., I feel like I have imposter syndrome, not regarding my art and my work, but with my friends! I have SO many wonderful friends and I honestly love them to bits and yet every year due to work, time zones, time schedules or just my inability to start a conversation I don’t get to talk to them or they go neglected for ages and I hate that so much about myself. My friends, all of them, are such wonderful people and they deserve so much better than what I give them, I love you guys, so very much..., I’m sorry for being such a terrible friend.

THAT SAID! It’s time to embarrass these lovely losers by letting them know just how much I care, kukuku.

@articbleu​ [Twitter]

Hah! Speaking of friends whom I’m constantly feel like I am neglecting, where do I begin without feeling like I’m treading over the same ground? You are one of the many artists whom I consider an inspiration, your dedication, drive and sheer will is aweing inspiring, like, I dunno if I can ever get over how much I think about it, I remember a time where we were both almost at the same level and now you are off doing who knows what, last I checked, you were studying in Korea, which is awesome, I’m so happy for you. But when ever I’m working and I feel like I can’t achieve, I look to you and tell myself, I can do better. I dunno if we’ll ever talk like we used to, so much time has passed since we last spoke, I dunno if we are the same people and there are times when I look back on my past, things I said that I regret and wonder if maybe you shouldn’t be my friend, not because I hate you, but because there are better people than me, who are more deserving of your attention, admiration and so much more, but regardless of what comes and what may happen, you have been or are, my friend and I love you, please, keep shooting like the star you are!

@nightmargin​ [twitter]

Okay, imagine this, so you met this cool girl who likes to draw weird, amazing and beautiful things on Deviantart, you enter a character tournament two with them, you chat about anime and stuff, then just a few years later THEY RELEASE ONE MOST ACCLAIMED INDIE GAMES KNOWN, like Whaaaaa-, there is not a day that goes by I don’t see One Shot stuff like, wha-, I dunno.., and she’s still making stuff it’s fucking incredible, WHY ARE MY FRIENDS SO TALENTED.., hah, go damit didn’t want to be melancholy.. ..,But like, shit, I just want to support my friends and let them know how much I give a shit, just how impressed I am, how happy for them I am but truth is I hardly get to see them, which is not your fault, you are making games, doing art, and having to be a social media presence, it’s exhausting, I understand, I just hope you know that I care still, that when I see your characters around the web, in fanart, in VRchat and other places, it makes me SO happy, I just want to hug you and let you know that you are doing an amazing job and that I couldn’t be more proud of you, I hope you know that.

@doodlediddy​ @doodledittydaisy​ [Twitter]

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Okay so, this is a friend where neither of us are to blame for staying out of touch because, HOLY FUCK YOU HAVE A BABY! AAAAA, you made a little person and they are so cute! On the rare occasion I go onto the hellsite that is Facebook, I get to catch glimpses of you and your lovely child, whom I terribly do not know the name or gender of A+ friendship right there, but yeah, GURL, you have an infant and they are precious, I don’t blame you for a second for not being in touch, it feels so weird, not too many years ago you were talking me off the ledge and then you got married, then you got baby fat AND NOT IT’S ESCAPE! I’m so happy for your family, fuck, that’s so weird, it’s YOUR family, not your family, YOUR FAMILY! AAAAaaaaa!

@mistercrowbar​ [Twitter]

I MET HER!, I MET HER!, I MET HER! No you guys don’t understand, I MET CROWBAR AND IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! We looked at beautiful lakes, we watched netflix, We ate burgers, looked at destroyed cranes, went to Ikea, watched more netflix, bought DnD stuff, ate more burgers, tried a beaver tail, more netflix, talked about lobsters and my little pony, looked at fossils, got mad at the ocean, yelled at drivers, more netflix… It was great, I loved it, would sleep on the floor again, 10/10. But Okay so I know that many people would think of Crowbar as intimidating, she’s not an emotionally open person I know, but to be honest it just makes friendship with her special, getting to know her on a level where you can read her is something that is truly treasurable and I’m so lucky to have that, she’s a unique person to love and that’s what's so great about her, she isn’t like everyone else, I wouldn’t change her for anything in the world…, okay maybe I’d allow her let me hug her more so I can tell her how great she is and she can’t flee, haha. I know I get on her nerves sometimes and I’m probably not the best friend on her list, I mean, I’m guessing, but considering how I measure up to some of the other people she knows, I can easily see that, I mean who knows thow, maybe I’m not a tier friend and maybe just a different friend and I just.., haha, I dunno why I obsess over this, how important I am to my friends, maybe because I just want them to be the happiest they can be and when I know I’m depriving them of joy, I question myself. But I am happy for what happiness I do bring to her, the moments I’m useful, when I am needed or just enjoyable company, those are the best moments for me, I’d give anything just to hear Crowbar laugh once every day, that’s how important of a friend she is to me.

@valbey-the-girl​ [twitter]

THIS ASSHOLE! Has been with me since I can remember, which probably annoys him, because I’m not the easiest person to friends with, specially of late, my mood has been all over the fucking place, I’m happy, sad, depressed, angry, frustated and yet he doesn’t complain…, that I know of.., and in return.., I send him lewd christmas gifts that make his parents question him and his life choices. Haha, friendship. But honestly, I like that about him, he’s one of the true people I know that makes me feel like we have a ‘normal’ friendship, we are not overly affectionate, we can speak openly to one another and we don’t like all of them same things and all I want to do is make him laugh and find a game that I’m good at and that he sucks at, because god damit, he seems like he’s an expert at everything, fuck you! I know times right now are tough for you, I can’t imagine it’s easy, shits going down at home, work and there is some asshole asking if your free once every Saturday so you can pretend to be a dwarf, just know if you need anything, you can always ask me, you’ve been there for me, don’t forget I’m here for you.

@dansome0203 [Twitter]

Don’t say how you are terrible friend because you haven’t been talking to him much, you say it every year, Don’t say how you are terrible friend because you haven’t been talking to him much, you say it every year, Don’t say how you are terrible friend because you haven’t been talking to him much, you say it every year,... -checks Script- “I’m a terrible Friend..” FUCK. -inhale- The man I look to for inspiration on cute girls and large boobs! God, I only really got to know this guy at the tail end of my Deviantart carrier before the big move to Tumblr and even then it was less a ‘WE ARE FRIENDS SWORN TO A BLOOD OATH’ and more me oddly poking him now and again, trying to start a conversation failing miserably, a tradition that would continue for about…, nine years…, nine years.. God I am a terrible friend. But enough about my inability to simply converse with people, what can I say about this Dan, he’s fucking great to start with, on the odd times I do actually get to talk to him I know he is nothing more than a chill dude who creates a lovely and warm atmosphere around him that draws people in, he has a fantastic sense of humour which is only equaled by his creative flair, no I’m not talking about the boobs, but more his designs for his characters, colour choices and so much more, I am honestly not joking when I say that I look at this guys work for inspiration from time to time, because I find his designs just that appealing and insightful. I would love for nothing than to just sit in a call with this guy and talk shop, or talk, or anything…, I wanna love you Dan, let me love you!

Gwyn Graham

And right of the gates… I FORGOT WHAT THERE TUMBLR USERNAME IS GOD DAMMIT! So for once me being a bad friend is entirely my fault!, we’ve always had a rocky time zone/schedule conflict even when we use to play DnD with each other, because life sadly, is not easy, fuck I wish it was. But also sadly I dunno what you’ve been up to, I dunno how you have been. I hope you are well and happy, did you get date? Are you on the lamb for murder? Who knows, but I like to think you are happy, I hope you are, I wish that you are.

@taplaos @tapliciousart [Twitter]

I bought three shirts from you and my father ignored the washing instructions so they are now basically ruined.-sigh- That said they are some amazing fucking shirts, so gonna try and be less of a downer here, but yes, like most of my friends, I am terribly out of touch with this wonderful person, HOWEVER, they have been fucking busy, designing some of the sickest Pokemon related merchandise I’ve ever seen, two things immediately come to mind when ever I see their amazing work up on my twitter, one… Why have Nintendo/Game Freak issued a take down notice and second, WHY HAVEN’T THEY HIRED YOU and I don’t mean that in a fanboy sort of, I love you pay attention to me sort of way, I actually mean that, your designs are so appealing, humorous, creative and at the same time, family friendly, like, there is such a demand for Pokemon related merchandise and you are just popping it out like nobody's business, christ, you are too good at this, it’s why I really need to sit down and talk to you about helping me design T-shirts at some point. Honestly, if you haven’t, go check out their stuff, seriously, do it, DO IT NOW!

@tuz-ohtopia @dm-tuz [Twitter] [Patreon]

When I started out I was ‘aware’ of Tuzzy, but I didn’t really know him, it wasn’t until I started getting involved with DnD that I started to know him and that was because he was the DM of my two other friends, so sadly I can never say that me and Tuzo have had the strongest of friendships. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I dislike Tuzo, I think the guy is great, the times we’ve actually spoken it’s been fantastic and talking shop with him was always a highlight, but it just.., amazes me, how I guy I barely knew went from a simple background presence to almost being everywhere I look. For you who don’t know, Tuzo is now a DM for hire and even has a Patreon where he offers up custom monsters, tiles and such, it’s so amazing to see how far he has come, it’s great, even if he has an unhealthy obsession with a lesser version of DnD, haha. I’m so proud of him and his unbound campaign is so enjoyable, experiencing it though his players is incredible and the assets he creates are outstanding, I just wish I had his time management, because I can not create assets to the same level or detail he does. This man has inspired me as a DM, an artist and a creator, and I don’t know if he is even aware that he has done that, Tuzo, keep doing what you're doing, because it’s amazing.

@nickala [Twitter]

Nicki’s Twitter describes her as a wannabe concept artist and an actual scientist and I’m probably the reverse haha, a wannabe scientist, god I love Nicki’s job, I really should talk to her about it, but then again I dunno how much of it she is allowed to openly discuss, she is after all handling human remains, so… I’ve mentioned it before, but I love Nicki, she makes life, make sense and it’s great, but more importantly than that, she’s just.., fantastic, funny, caring, but human. Like she feels so relatable with how she expresses herself, everything comes with a little frustration, a little guilt and honesty, which might sound like a weird thing to admire, but there are so many people these days who want to be fake, they want to be these, ideal versions that don’t exist, trying so hard and it becomes, exhausting and almost impossible to talk to them, because they wear a mask and you don’t know what their true intentions are. But not with Nicki, they talk and you can feel that raw emotion, it’s so satisfying to read text, to hear a voice and just know the complexity of a person, it’s refreshing and I cherish it.., even if I don’t talk to them that often.., I’m a sham of a friend -cries-

@mortooncian-art [Twitter]

I just met this lovely gal this year and…, I’m as bad with talking to them as I am with Dan…, I hope it doesn’t continue for about nine years…, I don’t want to be awkwardly skirting conversations at 37.

Sadly I can’t say much of them as a person, mostly because I’ve only really gotten to meet them this year, the aforementioned being a terrible person/friend, but I can talk about what drew me to them, because I was always aware of Thren? Mortoon?...uh.. Oh god I dunno what to call them..FU- I had always been aware of them since Deviantart and their art was appealing I just never made the leap to try and talk to them, because COWARD, it wasn’t until sometime last year, I can’t recall who but someone was reblogging their work, I believe it was Dan or Calien, it was from his DnD session and her little tiefling was just.., so..fucking CUTE! I loved her and wanted to know so much about her and looking into her work I found more and more cute loveable characters, and I dunno how to describe it, but her art just has this beautiful, cute and sexy charm to it that makes you just want to.. LIKE AND REBLOG IT… So after that, I just wanted to get know her, it seems so stupid thinking about it, liking someones art you think to yourself, hey I want to know this person on a personal level and maybe talk to them! And then, you get it and you clam up due to your social awkwardness and inability to manage a time schedule, haha.. But yes, I’m so glad I’ve been given a chance to talk to her, maybe if time allows it, I won’t screw it up in getting to be her friend.

@clauseart [Twitter] [Webcomic]

Yes, my fellow british artist whom I constantly compare myself against to measure my self success and my constantly conclude my lack of value… ...That’s not a joke I really do do this. Enough about me, I’ve mentioned it before with a few.., or most.., artist here, met on DA and look at where they are now, this girl, this them, this BEAST, started out with a crazy pinwheel and appearing in almost every OCT (Original Character Tournament) you can think of and now, they have an amazing webcomic about an amazing buff ginger and a kid whom I dislike (I’m sorry, I just wanna punch him,). Also a DnD character who seems from a distance seems like the drunk aunt who hates her family children.., I dunno I know nothing about their character and I really should ask someone, but if I’m right I want a gold star. But regardless, I am so proud of them, their creativity and artistic skill seems to have nothing but skyrocketed since the end of the OCT era of our lives and the dawn of tumblr, not to mention the just general progression of their comics, which I will leave a link to and if you don’t read this super funny and amazingly well drawn comic I will.. I really want to say more about them, I do! Sadly, I consider myself a friend, but I dunno if I even have that right, our friendship was very, distant, not in a negative way, but more like someone you chat to in a tescos (For any curious americans think Walmart), and now, I feel like I’m just a one man cheer squad. And honestly, I am okay with that, I get to see them improve and feel proud for them and they have a wonderful life as it is, what's more to want?

@lou0 @hunnylou0 [Twitter]

Lou has been one of my longest…, acquaintances? Okay I’m not saying that Lou isn’t a friend, I mean, I consider her a friend, but I’ve known her since I rejoined DA under the name Clockworkable, since then she’s been a source Joy, laughter, inspiration and to some extent a free expression, but, I could never feel like I was her equal or at least a friend, we were never close, despite how I tried to be.., she’s a difficult person to talk to, which isn’t her fault! Nothing ever seems to go her way, which.. Pisses me off so much, because she’s just a nice, beautiful and kind person who just deserves nothing but affection and I’d love to give it to her, even if it’s just a hug. But I know it can be hard.. That said, I’ve gotten the chance to really talk to her, getting to know her, the true her and it’s as wonderful as you’d think it would be, she is a true expression of her art, joyful, cheeky, funny, playful and kind, sweet, brutally honest, but that’s never a bad thing in my books. I dunno even now if I’m a good friend to her, I dunno if she’d even think of me as one, but I am happy that I’m a little bit here for her, more than I was before, I just want to make her happy.

@sunshinedrago [twitter]

Don’t be friends with this woman, it starts off small like “Oh, would you like to play Final Fantasy XIV?” and then the next thing you know your talking to scottish fairies and questioning your life decisions. I met this crazy spanish.. “ITALIAN!” Italian woman about three.., maybe four years ago? I can’t even remember how we met, like I know we met because we needed someone for a DnD game, but I can’t recall if it was me she contacted or someone else, haha, I’m getting old. Either way it doesn’t matter, because I’m so happy that I did, she’s encouraging, kind, sympathetic, honest and joyful, but more importantly realistic and down to earth, this woman is not a pity party and has introduced me to some of the most important anime and shows I could imagine, as well as help fueled my addiction to some games, a few years back I’d never played an MMO and now look at me...a broken shell of my former self…, obsessing over loot drops and glamorous for a fictional 3D bunny girl…She’s also one of my more active and talkative friends, which helps with my crippling depression haha, I dunno what else to say, It’s not like there isn’t a lot to say, just that I’ve said it over and over again, she’s a great friend and someone I wish I knew sooner, she feels like a friend I’ve always had, but I only met three years ago. Yeah.

@jabbage [Twitter]

What can I say, Smart, dedicated, driven, focused, talented, learned and amazing… ...Yep…, not just saying that because I am terrible friend…, not another example of not staying in touch with people, made worse by the fact they live in england…, nope…, are you buying it yet? I want to talk about how they inspire me, how they fuel my motivation, but sadly I have to just slap myself and twitter, because GURL never appears on my dash, but just.., THEY’VE WRITTEN SO MANY STORIES! H-how! I just.., I can’t get one webcomic done, I am so proud of her because of this, I should just be able to say that, but I don’t want to, I mean I do, I am proud, but I always want to talk about them as a person, I wanna mention times they’ve made me laugh, made me smile, but there is only a fleeting moment in a minecraft server sometime ago and… I am so sorry, for being a bad friend, but you don’t really need me to enrich your life.., JUST LOOK AT ALL YOU’VE ACCOMPLISHED! You are so amazing, one woman army, just AAAAA, so great! I love it, I love you, keep being amazing!, don’t stop! Burn bright, burn far and burn hard! Go!

@flunafloon [Twitter]

I can’t say how much of a bad friend I am again.., please, she deserves better than me, here is the link to her Etsy store.

@daco-taco [Twitter]

God I have a bleeding heart.., I say because I don’t really know Daco, hell I dunno if I even register as ‘friend’, I’ve followed them since Deviantart and I loved their art, for the most part I was content to be just that and then…, I just saw them upset, and fuck me, haha. I hate that I hate people being in pain so much I dunno why it destroys the core of who I am.., so now I’m in a discord server, or trying to be, feeling constantly judge, because I want to make someone happy and I dunno if I am even doing the job. Haha, what does that say about me?

Charanty 

I want to say a lot about charanty, I want to say we were great friends, I wanna say we talked from sunrise to sunset, I want to so badly.., dumb ideas we had, silly jokes we shared, moments of confusion, anger, tears.., bliss, regret.. But sadly I can’t, not that I don’t like them, no no, Charanty is amazing, but like something truly amazing, they are never around all the time, which sucks, because they are truly amazing, creative, beautiful in their mannerisms and perfect in their imperfection. I wish I could enjoy them more often.

ChubbuChu

I have many friends whom I want to be happy, Chubbu probably more than anything and sometimes I blame myself for their sadness, I know I am not the root cause, but I can still blame myself for moments of silence, moments of stupidity and overall not trying harder. Chubbu is.., affectionately irrational and down to earth, the best of times they are infectiously fun to provoke, play with and tease, while at the same time being caring and hopeful, I’ve only had the pleasure of knowing them for this year and even still it feels like I’ve known them longer, but I can’t wait to get to know them more as time goes on, I hope I do, I wish I do.

@hypertronic [Twitter]

Hyper…, Hyper.., “Your a terrible friend again aren’t you?” I mean.., YES, okay so Hyper started off as someone who was a fan of one my characters and since then I’ve had the pleasure of being taken out of the limelight and watching them grow into an amazing artist and COMIC CREATOR, AAAAA, so Park Of Plutonia, Hyper’s comic was a silly little RP group that was on DA, but look at it now! The amazing world she had hidden away in her head, now for you to read and I really recommend you go read it, especially if you want something different and unique, I really want to say more than just ‘go check out her comic’, I really do.

Mon

-breaths- “You were a bad friend again” GOD DAMMIT, YES! You know the saying never meet you idols! Because all you will do is upset them and make them judge you, HAHAHHA, SO! I became aware of Mon thanks to a small show I’m pretty sure NO ONE has heard of called Critical Role, they drew fanart for it quite regularly and I loved it! I even commented on their stuff from time and time, but there wasn’t much to it. Then I had a friend drag me into the world of FFXIV and to my surprise I met Mon…, after like a week or ten before I realised who she was, how would you describe Mon as a person? Like a rabbit doped up on sugar and caffeine, especially when she’s tired, cause then it’s like x2, what I’m saying is Mon is excitable and positive, which sadly doesn’t really gel well with my down to earth, grumpy I hate everything because I can’t act cute attitude that I’ve cultivated. So despite how much you’d think we are friends and how amazing and creative she is, we clash a lot, and honestly I feel like I am just WAITING for the moment, where she declares she has had enough of me and just throws me out of the friendship circle, because…, I know that not all people gel and sadly as much as I want to, I feel like I’m bringing her nothing but pain and I don’t want to do that, she’s creative and amazing, as well as so positive, she doesn’t need someone like me hurting her all the time.  

@spookydraws, @spesiria, @totalobelisk, @ssksscrapboard, @horrorjuice, @riyamilea

“More friend’s you have trouble staying in contact with?” Mmm.. “Amazing wonderful people who you’d love to talk to for days on end, but you are always just too busy for them, too involved in yourself to even say hi?” Yeah.. “Are they even your friends anymore? Are you worth anything to them, I think at this point you should do them a favour and unfollow them, because in the schemes of their lives you aren’t exactly making an impact are you? If anything you slow them down, maybe you are just slowing everyone down? How many more of you ‘friends’ are going to be added to a stockpile of names you can just gush over, because you don’t know them as people anymore, they don’t impact your life and they probably haven’t had a second thought about them?” …, I just think they are amazing people who need to be recongised for how talented and beautiful they are, life is hard and the voices in our heads can be fucking disgusting to us, so everyone just needs a moment, a person to just hug them and them, I love you, I dunno if you even know me but you are so important, don’t forget how important you are and just how meaningful you are, I’m probably just a stranger to you, but you have never for one second not been important to me in some way, I hope you are happy and that you live every second of your life knowing that you are loved by atleast one person. Cause in the end, that’s all we really want isn’t it, we just want someone to tell us that they love us, that we mean something to them, that we are important.

@phantomdotexe [Twitter]

The living definition of too kind for her own good, it’s both your best quality and your worst quality. An amazing talented person who’s managed to influence a small cults worth of people under the ideal of one uniform symbol and then gets upset how she hasn’t done anything with it. I love you to bits, your drive, your kind nature, but at the same time I worry for you, you have so many self defeating thoughts and worries, all stemming from your lack of respect for your own skill and your ability to try and please everyone at once, which can especially be seen with the ‘everyones opinion is valid’ If you made short stories based on your vision or merch, you’d make money in no time, but as it might contradict with someone else's, you don’t. Now I know this is meant to be a ‘I love my friends’ thing, but the truth is I do, I love you so much, but at the same time I have to tell you, you need to stop fretting, you always worried about other people, asking when they are going to bed and such, but then you are equally as bad of the same thing, burning the candle at both ends, rather than trying to resolve any of your problems. As someone who cares, let other people worry and focus on yourself, see you strengths for what they really are and go and make bank.

Plasma-Dragon

Only had the pleasure to speak to you twice on live streams, mostly knew you for your art, I dunno what I can really say? Here, you’re a new friend and I can’t wait to get to know you more… Man this was short.., fuck.., I really wanted to say something else…, uh.. .. .... ....shit

Lady Violi

Man, I wish I drew more personal projects like you did, haha, Okay so, a bit of honesty, when I first saw you on DA I have to be frank and say I didn’t think much of your art back then, but I am so happy to see not only was I proben wrong, but your art had grown incredibly sicne there, no just in scale and scope, but in detail, colour, it’s fantastic, is there places it could use improvement, yeah, but no one is perfect, but that’s enough about you creatively, what about you the person!

Well like I said I didn’t think much at first, but as time went on I became a little intimadated by you, probably cause of my own guilt more than anything else, but, doesn’t really matter, I’m just happy we actually talked, because discussing things with you is always a high light of my day, I’m so eager when your online because have such a nice easy and approach manner of conversation that’s infectious to me, and I love it.

And the best part! It’s only been a year since we started talking, I’m so excited how we’ll grow in friendship as time goes on, I know it’ll be worth it!

---

And.., that’s it, If you actually read through all of these and not just your own, I’d be surpruised, but I’m happy I wrote this, even if my arm hurts, things needed to be said, apologises needed to be made and love needed to be shared, thank you all.

[master-sass-blast]

Pride

WE INTERRUPT THE PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED CONTENT BECAUSE-

LADIES, LORDS, AND NOBLE GENTRY OF NON-CONFORMING GENDER IDENTITIES-

IT’S MOTHERFUCKING PRIDE MONTH!!!!

And the way I see it, we can’t do Pride month without having at least one (1) Pride themed fic. Which is why I stopped working on the previously scheduled content for this week and busted out a Pride themed fic instead!

Which is this fic here! In case... that wasn’t... clear...

Anywho.

Summary: You and Piotr take some of the teens at the X-Mansion to New York City’s Pride festival --and meet some interesting people while you’re there.

Rating: T for moderate language. If it wasn’t for that, this fic would be G.

Pairings: Piotr Rasputin x Reader, Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson, and Ellie Phimister x Yukio.

(Author’s Note One: I know that Kitty is alluded to possibly being bisexual in some of the comics. Here, she’s queer in the sense that she doesn’t quite know where she lands yet, but she knows she’s not straight. Considering I have her around 17, I figured having her be a little more ambiguous --since she’s in the early stages of her journey in discovering herself--was fitting.

Author’s Note Two: I headcanon Illyana as asexual. Also, asexual/aromantic people belong in the queer community/at Pride. If you don’t like any of that, die mad about it.

Author’s Note Three: Lzzy Hale does identify as bisexual/pansexual, which is why I decided to write in Halestorm performing at Pride (aside from my obsession with them). Basically, I just want to be clear that I’m not writing in a straight person performing at a Pride festival, say, for instance, Ariana Grande. *side-eyes Manchester*

Author’s Note Four: Your sexuality, as the Reader, is kept entirely ambiguous. There are several sexuality and/or gender identities (and combinations therein) that “allow” for being attracted to and in a relationship with a cisgender, heterosexual man (which is how I write Piotr), so I didn’t want to stick a label on the Reader’s “character” and ruin the immersion for everyone who doesn’t identify with that label. If you do identify as queer, then feel free to imagine yourself in whatever Pride themed gear you have, and as attending Pride as a queer person in a relationship with a straight person! If not, your role in the story is strictly what it says in the fic: to help Piotr chaperone the teens and to support the students in embracing the most authentic versions of themselves, whatever that may be! Just so we’re all clear.)

Tag list: @marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie

“—and stay together… Kitty, are you listening?”

“What? Oh, yeah, totally!”

You can’t help but chuckle at your boyfriend’s exasperated expression as Kitty Pryde, one of the latest teen trainees to come to Xavier’s, continues bouncing back and forth to whatever song she was listening to on her phone.

Summer’s normally a low-key time for the Institute. Most of the students only stay for the traditional school year, which means that the summer season sees a mass exodus of most of the mansion’s temporary residents and trainees. Save for missions and training, summer’s usually an entirely dialed back, relaxed affair.

Except for June.

One thing you’ve learned since arriving at Xavier’s is that minority groups have a way of overlapping. Several of the mutants that attend Xavier’s identify as queer in some way, shape, or form –and most of the permanent residents were queer as well, having been kicked out of their homes for the identity and genetics.

Sad as the rejection rates are, you’ve witnessed firsthand just how hard the staff at Xavier’s worked to make sure that all their residents feel accepted, supported, and loved.

Including taking teenaged and adult residents to New York City’s annual Pride festival.

Illyana, already decked out in her usual muted colors and a shirt dyed with the asexual Pride flag colors, purses her lips as Kitty bobs her head back and forth. “Katya –Katya, sit still.”

“I am!” Kitty insists as she continues bouncing up and down and mouthing the lyrics to whatever she’s listening to. “I’m totally chill!”

You bite back a snort as Illyana narrows her eyes—

And then the blonde teen yanks none too gently on Kitty’s hair.

“Ow!” Kitty shrieks, dropping her phone as she claps her hands to her head. “What the heck!”

“You want hair braided, da?” Illyana plucks the earbuds out of her friend’s ears and tilts Kitty’s head back so the –barely—younger teen can see her displeased expression. “Sit. Still.”

“Gentle, snezhinka,” Piotr says to his baby sister, tone warning.

“Yeah,” Kitty agrees, smoothing her shirt with a rainbow patterned Star of David silk-screened on the front. “Chill out, ‘yana.”

“Are we almost ready?” Ellie asks as she bounds into the kitchen, Yukio hot on her heels. “We need to leave in ten minutes if we want to get a good spot to see Halestorm play.”

Piotr had volunteered –and you along with him—to chaperone the trip this year, which basically amounted to herding a bunch of particularly fickle cats all over the place.

“Chill, dude,” Kitty says as she tries to reach for her phone. “It’s just a rock band.”

“Just a rock band?” Ellie and Illyana say simultaneously, aghast.

“Are you sure we have this handled?” you whisper to your boyfriend as Ellie and Illyana both start in on separate rants about Lzzy Hale’s status as a queer woman and the classifications of rock versus metal music, respectively.

“I am having second thoughts,” Piotr admits, grimacing slightly. “But I think it will all be worth-while at conclusion.”

You smile and kiss his shoulder. “I think so, too.”

“Wait, are you still in your pajama pants?” Ellie props herself up on the counter –and, sure enough, Kitty’s only half-dressed. “Are you fucking serious, Pryde? Do you want us to end up at the fucking fringes?”

“Language, NTW,” Piotr interjects before things can get too out of hand. “Self-control, please. Kitty, why are you not dressed?”

“Well, ‘yana was going to braid my hair—”

“Which I cannot do—” Illyana yanks Kitty’s head up again, prompting another yelp from the brunette “—if you keep moving!”

Kitty glares at her impromptu stylist. “You’re a real sadist, you know.”

“Okay,” you say, picking up Kitty’s phone and earbuds and holding them out of reach. “How about you sit still and let Illyana do your hair, and then go get dressed. Ellie, why don’t you work with Piotr and get us packed up, if you’re so worried about being late.”

“Good idea, Y/N,” Piotr says, mouthing a quick “thank you” at you when Kitty finally sits still with a huff.

You wink and blow a kiss at him, then turn when the back door swings open.

Wade strolls in, wearing a black t-shirt that says “It’s time to pan-ic” with the text colored like the pansexual pride flag; Nathan follows, wearing a tank top that says “Bi until I die” with each row of text matching an individual stripe from the bisexual pride flag.

Kitty grins. “Damn. Looking cool, dudes.”

“Always do, Snickers.”

Illyana blinks. “What?”

“He started calling me ‘Kit-Kat,’” Kitty explains with a resigned sigh. “And then it just escalated into other candies.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sour lemon drop.”

Your snort and shake your head before heading off to help Piotr and Ellie pack up the car.

***

Fortunately for Kitty’s existence and Ellie’s sanity, you arrive with plenty of time to get a good spot for the Pride concert.

“Sunscreen,” Piotr insists before Ellie can dart off to get the best possible spot remaining. He clasps her shoulder and holds a bottle of SPF 100 out to her. “Please and thank you.”

“No way!” Kitty gripes when Piotr holds a second bottle out to her. “I want to tan.”

“You’re ninety percent European Jew by ancestry,” Ellie fires off. “You’ll just burn.”

“Yeah, but it’ll turn into a tan. Duh.”

“Use the sunscreen,” Wade says with a cheery smile as he puts on a lightweight hoodie and a baseball cap. “If you don’t, you’ll wind up looking like me.”

Kitty grimaces and recoils. “Ew!”

“Be nice!” Illyana hisses, elbowing her friend in the side.

“It’s all good,” Wade says with a shrug as Kitty starts slathering herself in sunscreen. “I’m all for scaring people into making better life choices.”

***

The lot of you manage to get a spot about thirty feet back from the stage where most of the artists are performing. With Wade in a hoodie and cap and Nathan in a jacket and sunglasses, no one even gives you a second glance.

And then Halestorm comes onstage, and the music kicks in, and then the amount of glances you get plunges into the negative numbers.

Not that you can blame anyone for it. The energy the band manages to kick up is astounding.

Ellie looks like she’s seeing the face of God for the first time. She’s more animated than you’ve ever seen her, singing along to the lyrics of every song with flawless accuracy.

You and Piotr share a smile behind her back. So precious.

Halfway through the set, Piotr kneels down and puts his trainee up on his shoulders so she has a better view of the stage.

You manage to snap a quick picture of Ellie’s grinning face. That’s one for the memory books.

***

Ellie practically dives off Piotr’s shoulders once Halestorm walks off the stage.

“Blyad!” Piotr yelps, startled –Illyana barks out a quick laugh—as he catches Ellie from face-planting into the pavement. “Slow down!”

“Okay, I get why you were so excited to see them live,” Kitty says, grinning. “Lzzy’s super hot.”

“Told you,” Illyana and Ellie say in unison.

Ellie starts rummaging through her bag. “My aunt got us VIP passes to go to the signing. If we leave now, we should get there when things kick off.”

“Yeah, right,” Kitty argues. “We’re basically at the front of the crowd. There’s no way we’ll get there ahead of everyone else.”

Illyana’s eyes light up. “Everyone, grab on to me.”

Piotr frowns. “Snezhinka, nyet—”

She smiles impishly at her older brother as Ellie, Yukio, Kitty, Wade, and Nate grab onto her arms. “Sozhaleyu, medvezhonok.”

And then she winks out of view, taking everyone with her.

You bite back a laugh as Piotr’s expression morphs into one of brotherly fury. “Come on. We can check out the vendor stalls while they get their autographs.”

“Except Kitty, Yukio, and Ellie are all minors, and I am responsible for them as chaperone.”

“Oh. Right.” You do laugh this time, then squeeze his hand when he gives you a consternated look. “Well, let’s go collect our kids, then.”

***

By the time the two of you reach the autograph area, Nathan and Wade already have the teens waiting outside the security checkpoint.

Ellie’s practically vibrating with excitement as she shoves a CD case with a silver signature inked on it in Piotr’s face. “Check it out!”

“Very nice,” Piotr says with a smile equal parts indulgent and fond.

“She signed my hand, too!”

“And now you’re never going to wash that hand again,” Wade jokes.

“No,” Ellie says with a frown. “That’s gross, even by your standards.”

“Not really, considering I never wash my hands to begin with.”

Kitty gags and claps a hand over her mouth. “I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Alright, everyone,” you say with an amused eye roll. “Let’s go find a place to sit for lunch.”

***

You wind up running into some of the college students and other fledgling adults that train with the X-Men and end up sitting with them.

“Yeah, my aunt brought me to the parade last year,” Ellie says, recounting her first experience with Pride. “After I came out.”

Wade nods, genuinely listening and conversing for once. “‘Ness and I went together each year after we got together.”

“Cool.”

“I got arrested by a cop one year for streaking.”

“Not cool.”

“I went to Tokyo Pride with my older brothers last year,” Yukio chimes in, smiling happily as she munches away at a sandwich. “What about you, Illyana?”

“Ah, not so much for me,” Illyana says, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “Russia… does not have as much for us.”

“It’s a good thing you’ve got Colossus here,” Kitty pipes up around a mouthful of pizza. “You can celebrate with us.”

Illyana favors the brunette with a small smile. “Da.”

“What about you, Cable?” Yukio asks, smiling sweetly. “Are there Pride celebrations in the future?”

“Not really,” Nathan replies. “We’re too busy trying to survive and win the war against Apocalypse to have parades.”

Kitty pinches the bridge of her nose. “Jesus Christ, you’re so depressing.”

Nathan smirks. “There’s not as much fuss about sexuality, either. Or polyamory. Love is love, and considering the people that you love might be gone in a moment, you have to make every second count.”

“At least you got that right,” Ellie mutters.

Wade elbows his boyfriend in the side. “C’mon, Cabesy. You have to admit—” he waves a hand grandly at the bright, colorful celebration all around you “—that this isn’t half bad.”

Nate’s smirk grows into a smile, and he concedes with a nod. “Not half bad at all.”

***

The lot of you spend the rest of the afternoon checking out the various stalls and vendor stands.

A lot of them are being run by corporate representatives. An… alarming number, really.

Nathan scowls when you pass by a booth being run by Comcast, of all things. “I thought this was supposed to be a celebration for the queer community.”

“It is,” Wade says. “At its core, it is.”

“The capitalist death machine knows no boundaries or sense of appropriateness,” Ellie says flatly.

“This is part of the problem, you know,” Nate growls, jerking his thumb at the Comcast booth. “Corporations keep sinking their claws into everything they can and milk it for all it’s worth. When they finally collapse, there isn’t anything left for the rest of humanity.”

“Okay, maybe save the depressing stuff for later?” Kitty pipes up.

“It’s okay.” Wade squeezes Nathan’s hand. “We can maim the Comcast CEO later this week if you want.”

“Nyet,” Piotr interjects. “Absolutely not.”

Wade waves a dismissive hand at your boyfriend. “Relax, Chrome Dome. I didn’t say you had to come along.”

“How about we save all conversations relating to bodily harm of others until we’re not within earshot of minors and a thousand or so witnesses,” you hiss before an actual disagreement can break out. “Capiche?”

***

Towards the end of your time at the festival, you all wind up stumbling across a photography group run by queer individuals. The banner over the table reads “Snapshot Studios” in crisp, jet black letters, and countless shots of people, animals, and nature shots are on display for everyone to see.

“Wow,” Kitty says, admiring a picture of a sunset over a lake. “This is seriously cool.”

“Thank you,” a young man with curly hair that’s been dyed blue says. He extends his hand and introduces himself as Aiden, one of the principle photographers for the studio. “We’re in the middle of doing a Pride-themed series, for obvious reasons. You can check it out on our website.” He hands out business cards to each of you. “If any of you are interested in participating, you can contact us at the email address on the card. There’s no fee involved; we just take your picture and ask you questions about your experience as a queer person.” He glances off to the side, where Wade’s staring intently at one of the pictures. “Hey, buddy. You like the look of something?”

You crane your neck to see which picture Wade’s looking at, and –oh. That’s a familiar face.

Wade gazes longingly at a picture of Vanessa, dressed up in a strappy black dress and winking at the camera. He lifts his hand, almost as though he wants to reach out and touch her face, then clearly thinks better of it and jams it in his sweatshirt pocket.

“That’s from our sex worker positivity collection,” Aiden says, still studying Wade carefully.

“I know,” Wade says, somewhat sadly. “That’s my ex-girlfriend.”

Aiden���s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh. Uh… I take it things didn’t work out?”

Wade grimaces. “She died.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, man.” Aiden regards Wade thoughtfully for a moment, then reaches over and takes down Vanessa’s picture. “Here.” He holds the picture out to Wade. “Take it home with you. No charge.”

Wade blinks at him for a moment, shocked, then gently takes the photo out of Aiden’s hands. He gazes down at it for a moment, tracing Vanessa’s face lovingly, then reaches out for Nathan’s hand before looking back up at Aiden. “Thank you.”

Nate squeezes Wade’s hand gently, a soft smile on his face.

“No problem, man. Hey, if you don’t mind my asking, are you a burn victim?”

“Ah, no.” Wade shrugs one shoulder, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “Mutation side effect.”

“You’re a mutant?” Aiden’s eyebrows go up again.

“We all are,” you clarify, gesturing at your little group.

“Really? That’s super cool. I had no idea.”

“It’s not exactly something we show off,” Ellie pipes up. “There aren’t many mutations that alter physical appearance, either.”

“Makes sense,” Aiden says, nodding. “So, did you guys just happen to meet up with each other, or…”

“We work with Xavier’s Institute for Gifted Youngsters,” Piotr says, handing Aiden a business card of his own as he steps into the conversation for the first time.

Aiden grins as he eyes the card. “So, you’re X-Men. I thought you guys were on full-time hero duty.”

“They have a rotating schedule,” Wade interjects.

“We also have to take care of students,” Piotr says, eyeing Wade sternly. “Part of that is ensuring they connect to necessary communities.”

“That’s super dope, man. I know a lot of parents who wouldn’t do that.”

You have to drift away at that point to keep an eye on Kitty and Illyana, who’ve wandered down a few booths. By the time you get them to circle back to Piotr and the rest of the group, Piotr and Aiden seem to be wrapping up what seems like an intense discussion.

You eye your boyfriend quizzically as you all head back to the car. “What was that all about?”

Piotr smiles as he tucks Aiden’s business card into his wallet. “Networking.”

***

It takes a couple weeks, but you eventually figure out what “networking” means.

As chance would have it, Aiden and his coworkers are extremely interested in including mutants in this year’s Pride-themed photography series. It takes a little finagling to get some of the waivers worked out for the underage students who want to participate, and then it takes even more finagling to get a date and mutant safe location worked out, but eventually everything smooths out.

They wind up setting up in one of the training rooms first –to get the shots that require powers like Ellie’s or Russell’s, which means that the training rooms are the safest place to set up—then move out to the grounds behind the manor for the rest of the shoot.

Ellie’s aunt, Brie Phimister –who’s a spitting image of Ellie, just with wavy hair and a slightly longer face—shows up for the second part of the shoot, decked out in her Pride gear.

“So, you’re a mutant, too?” one of Aiden’s coworkers –CJ, you think—asks while Aiden gets shots of Ellie, Brie, and Yukio together.

“Yup,” you confirm, popping the ‘p.’ “I can control air –which basically means I can fly plus some fun stuff.”

“That’s super rad,” probably CJ says with a lax grin. “Hey –Aiden! She can fly!”

“No way.” Aiden grins back at you once he finishes taking his latest set of shots. “Stick around until the end. I’d like to get some shots of that, if that’s cool with you.”

You grin back. “Sure thing.”

***

It’s late evening by the time everything wraps up.

Kitty mugs for the camera like she’s born for it, and almost seems a little put out by being told to head inside.

The highlight of the whole thing, though (in your opinion), are the shots CJ manages to get of Nathan and Wade.

Wade, unsurprisingly, seemed a bit nervous about having his picture taken. He’d been stiff, barely smiling or looking at the camera—

And then Nathan had looped an arm around his boyfriend’s neck and pressed a fat kiss against Wade’s cheek.

The smile that had broken out across Wade’s face was nothing short of wonderful.

The other highlight of the day is when Piotr comes out as things wrap up, armored up and in his X-Men uniform.

Aiden gawks, eyes wide and mouth hanging open as Piotr strolls towards everyone. “Holy fucking shit!”

“Language, please,” Piotr says with a polite gesture towards Ellie and Yukio. “Young ones are present.”

Aiden blinks, clearly thrown, but recovers quickly enough. “I’ve never seen anyone like you, dude. You look seriously cool.”

“That’s what I said when I first met him,” you comment, grinning widely at your boyfriend.

“Understandable.” Aiden looks over at you. “And you can fly?”

You summon an air current by way of answering and lift yourself a few feet off the ground, twirling and somersaulting slowly as you drift towards the sky.

“Okay, can you do that again?” Aiden asks as he gets his camera ready. “Except over here –yeah, perfect. Okay, go! Alright, look at me and smile –eh, a little more teeth… perfect…”

You do as you’re told, grinning and twirling in the air while Aiden gets the shots he wants. “How do I look, babe?” you ask Piotr with a giggle.

He smiles fondly at you. “Very beautiful, myshka.”

“You two are together?” Aiden asks.

“Yup!” You smile brightly –and Aiden snaps another quick picture. “Have been for a while now.”

“We could get some really good pictures of them,” another coworker with bright purple hair –you think her name is Violet, which would make sense—points out. “The contrast of their mutations would make for great thematic storytelling, visually speaking.”

Aiden hums thoughtfully, finger tapping against his camera while he considers the idea. “It really would. Are you two okay with that?”

“I’m down.” You look to Piotr. “Is that okay with you?”

He shrugs and moves to stand next to you. “Konechno.”

You use your mutation to plop yourself down on his shoulders and brace yourself against his head. “How’s this?”

“Not bad,” Aiden says, getting his camera ready once more. “Lean to the side and forward a little more –yeah, keep your hair away from your face, good. Okay, now you put your hands on her legs or something, like you’re helping her balance… perfect. Okay, neither of you move for a minute.” He snaps a few pictures, then chuckles. “Dude, you are too tall for some of this. Is there a stool I can use?”

“I’ll get one,” Ellie says before trotting off to the house.

***

You spend the next hour posing with and without Piotr in various positions, from sitting on his shoulders, to him holding you in his arms, to you flying above him and him smiling up at you.

Aiden jumps on and off the stool Ellie fetched for him, lays down on the ground, and does just about every conceivable thing to get the shots he wants. When the light gets too dim, he and his coworkers break out their lighting rigs and keep going.

“Y’all are seriously dedicated to this,” you comment at one point, genuinely impressed.

“You can’t have a life’s passion without actually being passionate,” Violet says with a smile.

After a while, Aiden breaks out a tripod and a camera specifically designed for slow motion and has Piotr go in and out of defense mode a few times.

“Wow,” you breathe when Aiden shows you a shot where Piotr’s face is slowly morphing into his armor. “That’s amazing.”

“No kidding,” Aiden agrees. “I think this will go on the front of the mutant spread we talked about.”

You furrow your brow, confused. “Am I missing something?”

“Back at the vendor booth,” Aiden explains. “We talked about including mutants in our Pride themed collection, but we also discussed releasing a series that focused solely on mutants once Pride month was over.” He gestures to the screen, where Piotr’s face is still visible. “This is a gorgeous shot. I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

Piotr checks the shot when Aiden holds the camera out for him to see, then shrugs somewhat sheepishly. “If you think it works.”

“I do. Okay, I’ve got one last concept I want to do, if you guys are willing.”

“What’re you thinking?” you ask.

“I was thinking we could have your man get into his armor, and then pick you up and give you a kiss, and then un-armor while he’s kissing you.” He looks between you and Piotr. “Does that sound like something you’d both be comfortable with?”

You nod before looking over at Piotr. “Babe?”

He shrugs again. “I have no problems.”

“Awesome.” Aiden has Piotr armor up and lift you into his arms, then tests a few spots before getting back on the stool. “Alright, kiss her in three, two, one…”

You close your eyes as Piotr’s lips press –gently—against yours and loop your arms around his neck.

It’s a little weird, holding the kiss while he transitions out of defense mode, but he holds you steady, adjusting his grip as he goes so you don’t so much as wobble. Once he’s fully de-armored, he sets you carefully on the ground and moves his hands from your back to your face, cupping your head in his hands.

Aiden snaps a few more pictures, then hops off the stool and claps his hands. “Perfect.”

You grin as he shows you the screen, cycling through the series of pictures. “Damn. We look good.”

Piotr points at the picture where he’s full armored down and cupping your face in his hands. “I like this one best.”

You lean against his side, grinning. “Me too.”

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: bouquet garni

Next up, @skadventuretime, @guacamoletrash and @jamesfalt (Souly on Discord) stopped by to chat about their Resbang, bouquet garni! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: Madi, how did you come up with everyone's characters, like Harvar being a gaming streamer and Tsu and Liz being farmers etc. etc. because I thought those were all really unique and interesting!

madi: Ahaha let's see, I started planning this back last... May? and talking with the beta crew, as one does. And naturally marsh [ @marshofsleep ] , enabler that she is, just put it out there.

madi: And I was just playing a bunch of overwatch at the time and thought he'd be a good gamer nerd, and also I had decided to make this Extra self-indulgent, so I was like “my city now”. I basically poured all of my friend feels into [Harvar] and Anya in particular. The past couple years have been rougher for me, but I've had some really spectacular friends, and I decided Maka and Soul needed them, too.

Q: The part with the sword and stuff, I just…

madi: OH THAT ahahahaha. Okay yeah that was end of Resbang crunch time and me being extra 'fuck it.'

madi: That was what the team thought about that.

Q: Artist-chans, what programs do you use and how does your arting process go? And how is guac so good at playlisting??

Souly: I use paint tool SAI :0 I might still have some of my progress pics, lemme look.

guac: Lol. I don't think I'm super good at it but I do enjoy music a lot and like to make playlists so maybe that's it!

Souly: Yeah here we go. Mid lining.

I did it a lil differently than I normally do. I normally line everything and then do flats but I was actually super behind bc of life stuff so I just started doing flats per character after their lines were done. This is a sample of what the layers look like:

madi: Man how do u keep track of ur layers? Or is it like, a sixth sense?

Souly: I go off of the little layer previews and hope the layer has what I'm looking for.

madi: LOL that sounds like me.

Souly: I also like... tend to set up layers for characters a specific way so I can normally find those?

guac: BRUH THAT'S SO MANY LAYERS.

Q: Did you have a favorite character to write? 8)

madi: I just love writing Star being balls to the walls ridiculous. The saxophone thing came about because I saw this video and was like oh my god it's Black Star in the flesh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMyqasy2Lco . But I also really liked writing Maka being sort of the one with issues, too.

Q: Which character in your fic did you most identify with? And was it purposeful or accidental?

madi: Iiiiiiii'd have to say I identified with [Maka] the most this fic, for once. Usually it's soul, but I ended up pouring a lot of myself into her, and it was both purposeful and accidental how it all worked out.

Q: I’m surprised, because there were a lot of things I noticed about Soul that I know are you-things!

madi: Yeah!!! I definitely can't help that with him, they both got a lot of me.

Q: I know you said this fic was super personal and self-indulgent so was it generally pretty easy to write because of that, or did you have trouble?

madi: Hmmmm yeah I definitely had some trouble. About 20k in, I sort of lost the emotional thread of it, and whined a lot to Bones [ @adulterclavis ] about what I could do to fix it, and it turned out that I just needed to talk to someone about it to find where I wanted to go again, and then it got easier. I still struggled for sure not having a traditional Big Antagonist plotline thing, it was more personal and then Maka's mom… Bones let me cry in her inbox about writing.

Q: What brought about your characterization of Mama Albarn (who i still hate btw >: ((( )?

madi: You are not the only one...

guac: I'm always ready to fight her.

madi: Okay so, basically Mama Albarn came about just from how I used to (and still sometimes do) talk to myself. It's that internalized idea you always have to be perfect, and if you aren't given everything you've been given and have, then you're weak and a fuckup and how dare you not be the best? DEFINITELY a toxic mindset, and Bad. And this fic was sort of exorcising that, a little. This was an external abusive deal, but you can absolutely develop abusive thought patterns towards yourself, and you can also free yourself from them, like Maka was ultimately able to.

Q: Was there a scene in particular you really enjoyed?

madi: I heckin’ loved the butt lamp scene. It honestly kept me going, knowing I'd be able to write that monstrosity. And also drunk Kid, who marsh aptly named Five Drink Amy. AND THEN GUAC skl;dfkld. So there was this, right, and then guac

madi: Which linked to THIS PIC:

madi: And we all could not stop laughing.

Q: What was the hardest part to write?

madi: I got stuck at the end of chapter 3, and I ultimately added another section on to it to make it work, but I think deciding how I wanted to transition from her debauched night out into a Soul POV chapter given what I wanted each person to sort of be faced with was probably the hardest thing for me. This whole deal was largely driven by me groping in the dark at what felt right.

Q: PS I loved the debauched night out. And Patty's drinks.

madi: I loved patty in this!! Bones wanted to marry her, so I know it Worked Out. She was another fun one to write, as were her drinks ahaha.

Q: What was your favorite thing about this Resbang in particular?

madi: Oh jeez, hm. I think my favorite thing was doing a better job fleshing out the side characters in Harv and Anya and Kid and Star. That was something I regret not doing better in my older work, so I'm happy I got to try my hand at giving people other than Soul/Maka some personality.

guac: They became such a cute little chosen family.

Q: Why a food-themed story specifically? What about that appealed to you? (For everyone!)

madi: (Apeeled).

Souly: I fucking love SoMa. [And] the cooking aspect really drew me in... idk why but I've always had a thing for those kinds of things with anime I'm into?

guac: My current relationship started with them teaching me how to cook real food cause I used to eat like a garbage can, so I was like ‘welp this is gonna be hella cute, count me in.’

madi: Omg, I didn't know that, that's ADORABLE.

guac: Shhhhh. I don't talk about my feelings very much. But yeah. I was like ‘a SoMa AU about my life!!!’

Souly: Honestly yeah same, I feel like I also like... connected with Maka about being poor and just buying shit to eat.

madi: Let's see, I had a prompt sitting in my inbox FOREVER that was like 'I’m obsessed with a food blogger who writes about cheap ways to be gourmet in your 20s and I flirt with them over comments but they never post pictures of their face and ALSO there’s a really cute grocery bagger at the store down the street who teases me and always asks to join me for dinner and I definitely want to say yes AU' that I was initially gonna go with, and originally it was a little closer to this deal. My first blush ideas for this sort of had the drama in not knowing who was whom, and the big reveal being the climax, or something like Maka thinking Soul was taken because she thought he was involved with the comment girl and then that whole drama. But then I thought that that sorta thing had been done before, and I wanted this to be less about the drama of the reveal and more about the process of them growing closer, I guess. And I also looooooove cooking and baking, so that definitely bled through.

Q: I thought it was a neat shake up how you didn’t make the reveal the crux of the whole thing.

madi: Ahahaha yeah, I definitely thought about it, but ultimately wanted this to be less 'gasp, it's YOU!' because the reader knows, and if I wanted to make the reader invested, I'd have to keep them apart and do the kinda drama I wasn't feeling for this fic. The insta bit came about because I spend some time looking at food pics before I go to sleep, and that provided a lot of insp for that section. Half of my degree is in nutrition, so I like to see the recipes people come up with, and also roll my eyes at some of the bougie stuff, because insta is definitely a Platform for that, depending on where you end up haha. Also like, I definitely took some things I've experienced flat out and added them in, like Harv shoving Maka electrolyte packets. Last year when I was deep in the sad pit, my diet was terrible, and I knew it, but I wasn't doing much about it. And then one day I was talking to Bones and my leg muscle kept spasming, and she was like dude when was the last time you've gotten minerals and I was like .....oh. So she sent me a link for those packets to hold me over on days I wasn’t getting them from my diet ahaha. Bones is also where some of Kid came from, and bits of Anya.

Q: Where did you get your recipes? I want a cookbook based on this fic p...please.

modi: Okay okay let me find some of the recipes that inspired things:

https://showmetheyummy.com/crockpot-mexican-chicken-recipe/ https://www.instagram.com/p/BfWNxv9HuHg/?hl=en&taken-by=thefeedfeed.

[Bones] was also the steak recipe insp!

madi: The kitchn, thefeedfeed, showmetheyummy, minimalistbaker were all feeds that I was inspired by, and then I just improv’d from there, because I have cooked all or most of the things I described in there. AND IT'S WHERE MAKA'S CUPCAKE GAZING CAME FROM. LOOK AT THE GLORIOUS MOUNTAIN OF ICING https://www.instagram.com/p/BaRGvjGDBpr/?hl=en&taken-by=thescranline

Q: Did you feel like your writing has changed at all during writing this?

madi: Yeah, for sure! I thought that this year I got better at characterizing people, adding some personality to them that was a little more nuanced than I'd done before. I think I absorbed some of Bones's longer sentence style, which I personally tend to like even though I am still getting a handle on it, and I think I got better at describing things in general. Next step is being better with plot and tightening up the language a little more >:) Most of the changes, I think, were sentence style and how I handled dialogue, which is usually harder for me.

Q: Artists: did you learn any new techniques that you plan to practice or improve on any you've been trying to learn?

Souly: Oh yeah, I learned doing flats as I go with lines actually speeds up the process slightly... I practiced a different lighting technique that I never did end up going with but I kinda figured out what I need to do to make it work. It sadly just didn't work with how I set up this pic.

madi: Oooo nice, linework is Intimidating but you made it look easy.

guac: I am just glad to force myself to make stuff. Glad to be here. Thought my drawing of bodies got better (thanks Black Star).

madi: Y'all don't understand the sound I made when I saw guac drew the apron.

Souly: That Blackstar pic is my fave.

Q: WHAT'S NEXT, everybody? ;D

madi: >;) well, I have a secret project that I thought of last year that I am not yet sure will be a Resbang or a chaptered dealio, so I want to pick at that. Then I have a chaptered Star vs the Forces of Evil fic I need to update, and I owe Pip [ @paperypiper ] like two or three Noragami fluff pieces, and SILLY’S BDAY SMUT. Which will proabbly be like a whole year late but whatever I’m sorry, I will try to make it extra spicy.

Souly: I'm signing up for a few zines! I'm currently waiting for them to open apps but I'm looking at an Enstars zine, FMA tarot project, and some YOI zines. I was also recently in the Soul Eater reversal zine that just closed preorders the other day so I'm waiting to be able to post my piece :0

guac: I'm arting for the BNHA big bang and mostly consumed by school. Who knows what will happen next! There's a little pop punk lyrics + anime project I'm working on so maybe I'll show it to the world someday soon. We will see.

madi: OH YEAH I’m writing for that bang too! AND GUAC GOT ME AS AN ARTIST. It's the ultimate resonance.

[alkcomics]

Only since @lucyinbookland​ tagged me <3

Not tagging anyone but feel free to do at your own pleasure

NAME: Alan

GENDER: is a social construct government conspiracy

⭐ SIGN: Sagittarius (my birthday’s on Thursday, actually)

HEIGHT: I’m going to put 5′1″ but we all know that’s a lie

MIDDLE NAME: Louis, I guess

PUT YOUR ITUNES ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 6 SONGS THAT POPPED UP?

1. Carballessas - Milladoiro (lol @thegorgonist​)

2. Bedside Table - Bedhead (this is on my F-ST playlist)

3. Exodus (Noah’s Ark 2001) - Boney M. (have you got your daily dose of Afro-futurist disco yet?)

4. The Body and the Brain - The New Trust (not my favorite song by them, but honestly: what a good opening lyric)

5. The Flowing Bowl / Maire Breathach’s #1 / The Doon / The Mason’s Men - Solas (I listen to and play a lot of Irish fiddle tunes)

6. Push the Eagle’s Stomach - Man Man (I think they sprung from Danny Elfman’s forehead)

GRAB THE 📓 NEAREST TO YOU AND TURN TO PAGE 23. WHAT’S LINE 17?

"while away the waiting. Independent of what happens and what”

is line 17, but the full sentences are much better:

“I would like my life to leave after it no other murmur than that of a watchman’s song, of a song to while away the waiting. Independent of what happens and what does not happen, the wait itself is magnificent.”

Alain Badiou quoting Mary Ann Caws’ translation of André Breton’s Mad Love in The Century, which I keep on my desk at work to read when I feel the oppression of the office environment crushing my skull.

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU?

Don’t think so but boy howdy have I written more than my fair share of bad songs/poetry about other people.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR 🎸?

I’m more of a headbanging sorta’ guy.

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH?

Everyone on the desimalemodels Tumblr blog hot damb

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE?

Yelling; babytalk

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? HOW ABOUT ALIENS?

”Believe” is an interesting word. I don’t believe in the sense that I think they are real, but I do believe in that I like to entertain the idea at certain times to make the world a more whimsical place. A friend in high school read my palm once, and she told me that I was a “new soul” -- one that had no previous incarnations. I don’t necessarily believe in any truth in palmistry, but I like to entertain the idea that what she said about me is true sometimes because it is an interesting way to look at the world around me.

DO YOU DRIVE? IF SO HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED?

Yes. Nope.

Well. Speaking of Irish fiddle tunes...

The day before my license test, I was backing up (<5mph) to leave my teacher’s house after my violin lesson and lightly bumped the bumper of the next student’s pickup, the nose of which was peeking into the driveway. No harm done to the pickup, but the family minivan (now RIP I think?) got an absurdly large dent in the back from it.

WHAT WAS THE LAST 📓 YOU READ?

Professing Selves: Transsexuality and Same-Sex Desire in Contemporary Iran (Experimental Futures) by Afsaneh Najmabadi. Really interesting anthropological look that tries to not project Western notions of gender and sexuality on traditional or contemporary Iranian culture.

  DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF PETROL?

*Petrichor, and yes

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW?

Suspiria -- which I’m seeing on Friday at the Northwest Film Center uncut in 35mm. SO. STOKED.

WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD?

I mountain biked down the Great Divide for ~3000 miles and didn’t even get a flat tire. A few days after I came home, I biked solo up Dog Valley Rd. to Crystal Peak to mine some shiny quartz crystals (because fuck yeah, dude). Dog Valley Rd. is very pitted and rocky in places and a bit steep -- I’ve got no need for speed, so I was riding my breaks the whole way down after my expedition. Even so, at about 15mph the rocks jostled my gear enough to throw the bag from my anything cage into my front wheel. I went endo and landed hard on my drawing-arm elbow, getting a cm-deep incision from a rock in there. I sustained no nerve damage (FUCKING luckily -- this was two weeks before I was going to launch F-ST, and I was about a millimeter away from never being able to draw again) and really, the scar’s not even that cool.

But I did get some shiny crystals!

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW?

I can’t stop listening to 16 Horsepower, specifically the song “For Heaven’s Sake.” This band has a bit too much Jesus going on for my usual tastes, but I get real devil-posessed-streetcorner-preacher-in-a-fuckdup-supernatural -Southern-Gothic-setting vibes from them that keep me going. Anyway, “For Heaven’s Sake” is basically “a guy gave me a boner but that’s bad so now I’m just Gay For Jesus(TM)” and you can’t tell me otherwise. Also, at ~3:06 in that track, David Eugene Edwards does the best fucking Brian Molko impression saying the lyric “he’s my high heaven.” Coincidence? I think not.

ALSO, this rad 80s song by Indochine about being gender non-conforming: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWtiCRntA-E (@thegorgonist do you know this one??)

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST ANYONE WHOSE DONE YOU WRONG?

*Who’s, and that’s not my style. I prefer to write thinly-veiled ~600 page sci-fi horror comics about them where they’re actually the good guy and I’m not involved in the plot at all.

Sigh.

IN A RELATIONSHIP?

Yes’m

[shotce]

10 Questions

Omg you guys, I feel so loved lol thank you! Soooo, I hope I'm doing this right, now that I'm finally getting around to it! 10 QUESTIONS: Tagged by @ellebeedarling 1. What’s the best vacation you’ve ever had? Oh, this is hard. Um. When I went to Edinburgh I had an absolute blast, and I can't remember if we did the day trip to Paris that visit or the one before, but yeah. Gale force winds and torrential downpour by the Eiffel Tower and it was STILL super fun.
 2. Who was your first crush (or first close friend if you’ve never had a crush)? Huh, some kid in elementary school? 😅 3. What is your favorite tv series? Ooo, so many! I'm currently watching Due South, Game of Thrones and Teen Wolf(past seasons, no Stiles, no me), tho. 4. Are you into sports? Participating or watching? Which ones? I prefer being active in one, but going to baseball games is fun. 5. What is your guilty pleasure album/musician? The one you’re embarrassed to tell people you love? I have no shame! My Chemical Romance. But Irish Punk and the Fallout playlist on Spotify are my Go Tos. 6. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Finally getting cold weather and snuggling up with hot drinks, the poodle and appropriate movies. 7. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? Irish coffee or cranberry vodka rn. 8. What is something you’ve always wanted to learn how to do? So many things, a second language would be nice. 9. Are you a singer or a dancer or both? I used to sing well enough, now I don't even try. I can do the Shepard shuffle! 10. Do you play any musical instruments? I've tried. Flute, organ, drums. I never stayed interested long enough. Tagged by @missannaraven 1. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Oh man, pizza?
 2. Do you have any nicknames? If not, is there one you’d like to have? Shotce, Iggy, Lainey, Zombie (every morning my roomies see me), Ti-Ti, Dory, Lainers etc. 3. If you won the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d buy? Tickets to Ireland with plans to go eastward until I'm back home. You know I'll have to bring all my buddies too. International road trip ftw!!
 4. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night.
 5. Do you consider yourself a good cook? I grew up with parents who are great at cooking (used to have their own restaurant and pizzeria) so I know my fair share, but there's a lot I've never learned that I should have😩 6. What kinds of things really make you laugh? I like being stupid with friends. I also get really excited very easily about nerdy things.
 7. What is your favourite way to spend a day off? Relaxing with the poodle. Reading fanfic. Hiking once upon a time.
 8. Do you have any pet peeves? Usually work related things, my sister, people WHO CAN'T DRIVE (though I've probably done the same thing at one point)
 9. Who is your best friend? Irl girl!Cody. On tumblr, @ellebeedarling .
 10. What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask? Idek I used to be very religious thanks to my sheltered Catholic upbringing. Love of fanfic and fandom removed a lot of that nonsense from my eyes, but I still struggle with what I used to believe and what I still do, if that makes sense? Tagged by @sweet-ree 1. What’s your sign? Birthday? Aries, April 1. 2. Favorite cocktail? (If you don’t drink, favorite concoction?) This week it's the Nutella latte from Sambalatte. 3. Do you have any special/unusual/secret talents? Err. Uhmmmm. Monkey toes? 4. What is a personal accomplishment you are proud of? Did anyone tell you that you couldn’t do it? I started drawing again. I've traveled places far away. 5. What is your favorite stuffed animal? Current please (and don’t tell me you don’t have any, I’m over 40 and I have lots incl a giant Appa, I wont believe you) LOL Let's see, I donated a lot but kept the large, fluffy Eeyore I got when I was sick on my first trip to Disneyland when I was 22. Then I got my Grunt plushie. And the Dogmeat one. 5.5 Favorite fic writers? Ouch. Which fandom? Lol 7. Phrase from a video game which became like a mantra to you? (one of my favorite questons!) Living lean~Kaidan Alenko , gotta cut out that clutter! 8. Who was your first fictional crush? (another favorite) Aladdin and Esmeralda. I think. 9. Any kinks you’d like to share? My kinks are of the non-sexual kind like cute messages, domesticity and fluffy things. 10. Post a gif/smiley face/pic/emoji of your current mood. 😋 Tagged by @estalfaed Dream Vacation location? If it has to be one place, Finland. Who did you save - Kaidan or Ashley? Kaidan. What is your favorite desert? Boston Cream or cherries. What is a MUST-HAVE in a prospective partner? Kindness, loves dogs, nerdiness, hygienic. Which was your favorite Doctor Who companion (if you watched the show)? Whelp. Only watched it with my Who-obsessed friends. I liked Rose, but Martha was kickass and River was was just...saucy. River counts! A salt circle is good for keeping out what? Demonic thingys and spirits. Sadly, not unwanted family. Favorite Movie? Star Wars/Indiana Jones, Lord of the Rings, The Mummy, Pirates of the Caribbean, Hocus Pocus, Aliens etc etc If you could have any super power, what would it be? Breathing under water maybe. You have three paths before you, one leads to a misty forest, one leads to a ruined castle, and the last leads to a quiet lagoon. Which do you choose? Oh dude, I see a castle overseas and I'm Gone, but I'll always pick the forest. If you could see your future, good, bad and in between. Would you want to? I'll always want to know, but hopefully will say no. My Questions: Which (video game) character do you most empathize with and why? In ME3 did you pick Control, Synthesis or Destroy? Or which one did you favor when playing multiple times? If you didn't play ME, which type of endings do you usually choose? What is an otp you don't post as much about? What about your notp? Would you be interested in a flat Kaidan/mshenko sent out through the community? What is your favorite type of xover to read/see? Don't like xovers? What's a show/movie/fandom you're into that's rarely on your blog? What trope is your favorite and which one do you despise? Do you have any gaming/writing rituals? (I.e. Cocktails, mood lighting) What way do you like to shake off a bad day? Or what motivates you? If you joined the Inquistion (or moved into a castle) where would you park your butt? Tavern? Library? The gardens? Stable? What is your weapon of choice in most video games? Powers/biotics? Shotguns or arrows? Wit or strength? YAY and that's 10. Man that was hard. Ok, I tag everyone below, feel free to join in if you want. @estalfaed @sweet-ree @ellebeedarling @missannaraven @estora @mehutchinsane @you-are-a-program @young-avenger @mandydarlings @thejollywriter @omegastation @threewhiskeylunch @introspecticskeptic @blueteaparty @rego-mem @humblydefiant @simon-and-garfunkbot @willowdeville @mshenkoaddiction @vorchagirl @renlyslittlerose @blueeyeschina

[imagining-supernatural]

The Other Side of the Bar

Summary: Bartender!Dean AU where he has a bet with you each night to see who can keep a straight face the longest. In Sam’s words, “This was the weirdest damn flirting he’d ever seen.”

Word Count: 2351

Warnings: Fluff!

A/N: I have this headcanon that if it wasn’t for Azazel and the hunting life, Dean would be the happiest guy out there. He would just be loving life and laughing around and basically be a force of nature that always gets what he wants. He would be unstoppable and would be so damn happy. So that’s the version of Dean that I imagined for this AU.

Version en Español: El Otro Lado de la Barro

“Sam, my man!” Terrance bellowed when Sam walked into the bar. Upon seeing his old friend, Sam broke into a smile and gripped his hand, pulling him in for hug. “Our boy Dean didn’t tell me you were in town.”

“Well, finals are finally over and Dean’s been after me about checking out his new bar since he opened it.” Sam glanced around the dimly lit room and couldn’t help but feel impressed. “So I thought I’d surprise him.”

For someone who hadn’t set foot in a college classroom, Dean was actually a pretty good businessman. This was the third bar that he’d opened in Eastern Kansas, and every bar that he owned was doing ridiculously well. When Dean asked Sam to take a look at his finances and make sure that everything looked good, Sam started rethinking his own life plan. If Dean was making that much per bar, then what in the world was Sam thinking, digging himself deeper into debt to get a law degree?

Speaking of Dean, Sam glanced around the packed room in search of his sandy-haired brother. As usual, he was behind the bar talking to a chick. But he wasn’t smiling or joking around like he usually did in the company of any living, breathing female.

“What the hell?” Sam asked, drawing Terrance’s attention. “He’s having an actual conversation with her instead of just flirting?”

Terrance followed Sam’s gaze and laughed. He clapped Sam on the shoulder and leaned closer. “Dude, he is flirting with her. Hard. They do this every night.”

“This? What is this?”

With a secretive smile, Terrance pulled Sam closer to the counter. “He won’t even know you’re here. Until this bet of theirs ends every night, neither of them are aware of anything around them.”

Sam and Terrance stopped a few feet shy of the two who appeared to be engaged in a very serious conversation. But it was close enough for Sam to hear what was being said.

“Then the squirrel ran up her skirt and she started screaming and jumping around,” the girl was saying in a flat voice, eyes never wavering from Dean’s.

Sam caught the gleam in Dean’s eye that was the complete opposite of the serious expression on his brother’s face. This was the weirdest damn flirting he’d ever seen.

“That squirrel couldn’t get away fast enough. After everyone calmed down from laughing so hard while Clarice yelled at us, Jimmy piped up and said Guess that squirrel didn’t find the nuts he was looking for.”

A second passed where Dean struggled to control his face. The muscles in his cheeks and around his mouth clenched, but there was a split second where the corner of his lips twitched upwards and the chick let out a victory yell, raising her arms in the air.

“What? No!” Dean protested. “That doesn’t count!”

“It totally does, baby.” Her smile was the brightest thing in this bar, and Sam could see that even with her gloating, Dean still couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Suddenly Sam was even more interested in who this woman was than before. “Face it, Dean. You lost tonight.”

“Did not! It wasn’t a full smile. Right?” He cast his eyes around for anyone to back him up, pausing when he saw Sam right there. Surprise flickered across his face, but Dean didn’t seem to dwell on that. Instead, this bet with the mystery woman was more important than a surprise visit from his little brother. “Sammy! Tell Y/N that that was not a smile. I did not lose!”

“Sammy?” Y/N spun around on her barstool and eyed him. Feeling her gaze on him made him slightly on edge. She was looking at him like she knew more about him than he wanted. “You’re Sam? The Sam who believed in Easter Bunny until you were twelve?”

Sam huffed and glared at Dean. “Yeah. That’s me.”

“Then you know Dean pretty well. Tell me, Sam. That was a smile, right? That totally counts?”

“I, uh, kinda?”

“Kinda doesn’t count!” Dean insisted. “And since that one doesn’t count, that means that you smiled first, so you lost. Pay up, sweetheart.”

Y/N huffed and turned back around to face Dean. “You, Dean Winchester, are a cheater.”

“Whatever gets me that kiss,” he grinned, leaning on his elbows over the counter.

With a delicate eye-roll, Y/N stood up and went up on tip-toes to meet Dean halfway, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Dean wins, he gets a kiss. Y/N wins, she gets free drinks for the night,” Terrance explained to Sam.

After a few more seconds, Y/N pulled away and shook her head fondly at Dean. “You are such a cheater. I totally won.”

“Tell you what, sweetheart. Since Sam’s here, we’ll celebrate. You know what that means?”

A mischievous gleam sparked behind her eyes. “I sure do.” As she turned around to face the rest of the room, she tossed Sam a wink. Hopping up onto the counter, she cupped her hands around her mouth to broadcast her words and yelled, “In honor of the owner’s brother visiting, the next round in on the house!”

A cheer rose up from everyone in the room and Y/N proudly jumped off the counter and smirked at Dean. “Two can play at that game, Dean.”

“Joke’s on you,” he scoffed, clearly trying to cover up. “I was planning on doing that anyway.”

“Sure you were, babe. Sure you were.” She motioned to the shelves of liquor behind Dean. “Now get me that free drink, then I’ll take Terry-Berry out on the dance floor and give you and your dreamy little bro some family time.”

“Terry-Berry?” Sam perked up at this new nickname. Terrance made his ban on cutesy nicknames very clear growing up.

Terrance pointed a finger at Sam warningly. “Don’t. Only Y/N gets to call me that.”

Sam took this new information into account and knew that he would have to keep an eye on Y/N for the rest of his visit. There must be something special about her if Dean was so star struck, and Terrance was getting lax on his rules.

“Enjoy.” Dean winked at the woman he’d just placed a drink in front of and walked back to where Sam and Terrance were seated at the bar, arguing over some nerdy book they both liked. For the fiftieth time in the last ten minutes, Dean cast his eyes around the bar, but he couldn’t see her anywhere.

“Dude, calm down. I’m sure she’ll be here,” Terrance rolled his eyes at his friend’s obvious obsession.

It wasn’t even worth it to pretend like Dean had no idea what he was talking about. “Usually she’s here by now. You sure she didn’t have a date or something?”

“Positive. I live with her, man. If she had plans, she would have called me into her room to play the girlfriend role of helping her pick out what to wear all while she told me all about her date and where they were going and what they were like. She probably just got hung up at work or something.”

Dean huffed and took stock of the bar patrons again. When he first heard that Sam’s old friend was in town, he’d suggested that he come by the bar for free drinks. Sammy might have some weird friends, but Terrance was one that Dean actually liked.

And when Terrance brought his roommate along, well, Dean really didn’t mind at all. Someone’s offhanded comment that Dean and Y/N smiled more than any other person they’d ever met had sparked the competition and now it was a tradition. Every night when they were both at the bar, they tried their damnedest to get the other to smile first, just to prove who could keep a straight face the longest.

It was the best part of Dean’s day.

“You could text her,” Dean mentioned to Terrance. “Just to make sure she’s okay, you know. Good roommate stuff.”

“Why don’t you just text her, Dean?” Sam asked.

Dean made the mistake of not thinking about his answer. He opened himself up to all sorts of teasing from Sam, but he wasn’t too focused on his brother at the moment. “Don’t have her number.”

“Wait. Seriously? You’ve been hardcore flirting with her for weeks and you still don’t have her number?”

Dean shook himself out of his pining for Y/N and narrowed his eyes at his brother. “So what? She doesn’t have my number either.”

Holding his hands up in surrender, Sam shook his head. “Man, I do not understand you two.”

“No one does,” Terrance piped in. “You just learn to let them be.”

The front door opened and, just like magnets, Dean instantly was drawn to the woman walking in. Seeing her made all of his worries seem minimal. Her gaze locked with his from across the room and Dean watched as she started pushing her way through the crowd.

That’s when Dean started to panic. He didn’t have any funny story planned for tonight. How was he gonna make her smile and get that kiss? It had been a long day, meeting with potential investors for a new bar across the state line, and he’d been looking forward to that kiss all day. Sure, the kisses lasted only a few seconds, and sure, there was nothing more than two lips touching, they made every night so much better than he could imagine.

“Hey, Y/N,” Sam greeted when she was within hearing distance.

Looking very much like she was on a mission, she just nodded at him before hopping up on the counter. Dean watched in confusion as she swung her legs over and misjudged how far the counter on the other side extended. Her foot caught a glass, sending it shattering on the floor.

Barely sparing it a glance, she mumbled, “I’ll get that later,” before jumping to the floor on the other side of the bar, just in front of Dean.

This was definitely off-script. Other than the few times Y/N had talked Dean into playing pool with her, the bar always stayed between the two of them. But now she was right in front of him looking up at him determinedly.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dean said slowly, glancing around as he tried to figure out what was going on.

Then her hands were on his face and she pulled his head down until her lips pressed against his. For a moment, Dean didn’t know what to do. Then she moved closer, her body brushed against his, and reality came crashing down onto Dean. Y/N was right there, kissing him like he’d dreamed of for weeks and there wasn’t a pesky counter in the way.

Dean curled his fingers into her waist and pulled her closer, relishing the way her soft curves pressed into his body while his other hand found its way to the back of her head, weaving into her hair. Y/N parted her lips and traced her tongue along the seam of Dean’s lips. Instantly he let her in, giving into his instincts and kissed her like his entire future depended on it.

When she broke the kiss, breathing heavily, Dean didn’t open his eyes for a moment, nor did he let her go. And based on the way her hand was gripping the back of his neck and pressing her forehead to his shoulder, she didn’t mind one bit.

“What was that for? Not that I’m complaining,” Dean rushed to clarify.

Y/N eased her head back enough to look up at him with sparkling eyes. “That was a thank you.”

“For what?”

She chuckled and glanced away for a brief moment. “For your stupid monkey story. I had lunch with my ex today and he’s this manipulative asshole. I don’t know why I said yes in the first place. But every time he tried to give me some backhanded compliment, all I could think about was how you told me that the monkey would have liked my hair.”

“Would’ve liked to poop in it,” Dean finished, remembering that night three weeks ago. 

He’d told her about the time he went to the zoo and a monkey tried throwing poop at him. She hadn’t cracked a smile, so he knew that he would have to shock a smile out of her. He lured her in with a compliment—That monkey would have loved your hair—then switched the script—Loved to rub poop in it, that is. The unexpected twist coaxed a surprised laugh out of her, and he’d gotten a kiss that night.

“Yeah. That one. Every time he insulted me then softened the blow with a compliment, I just thought about that monkey story and suddenly every word out of his mouth was just as stupid as a monkey wanting to rub poop in my hair.” Y/N laughed softly and shook her head before looking back up at Dean with soft eyes. “He just wanted to get in my head and lower my confidence. But you just wanted to make me laugh. So thank you.”

Dean grinned, a bright bubble expanding in his chest. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a girl thank me for telling her that a monkey would love to rub poop in her hair.”

“First time for everything,” Y/N said, popping up on her toes to press another quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. “And you smiled first tonight, so I get free drinks.”

“After you clean up that glass you broke,” Dean said pointedly, still refusing to let her go. After that kiss, he would agree to anything she said, even if it meant losing the bet for one night. Though, he supposed, he’d gotten a much better kiss than any other night that he had won the bet, so it wasn’t like he lost anyway.

She pushed away, and he felt cold without her body against his. After finding a rag, she turned back to him and smiled. “By the way, I’m so gonna win tomorrow too.”

“Lookin’ forward to it, sweetheart.”

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[master-nikoli]

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Five Fictional Charectos I most identify with

Ariel (The Little Mermaid)

There's a reason she's my OOC mascot and it isn't just because she's a redhead, when I was a kid EVERYTHING was Ariel, or atleast I tried to make it so (fun fact: In the early days Ariel was actually not a popular princess to be smacked on merchandise, Disney used to put her "in the vault" all the FREAKING time and so whenever there WAS something Ariel related available I would foam at the mouth for it... I still foam at the mouth for Ariel stuff to be honest but atleast I can just walk in Walmart and get practically anything these days) Ariel and I are actually completely opposite and completely the same, because where she only ever wanted to be human, I only ever wanted to be... anything but, especially a mermaid, I know it's a common thing for little girls to want to be mermaids but dude.... I SO wanted to be a mermaid, I would have utter TANTRUMS everytime it came to leaving the neighborhood pool because I just wanted to be in the water, I STILL love being in water even though I'm not a very good swimmer, but past that, Ariel is the oddball of her family who doesn't want to conform to what her dad wants (my mom is actually the same as I am, but she married someone who's very traditional in alot of his thinking and so a very large part of my childhood was spent trying to gnaw my way through his traditionalist ideas- with my mom's help ofcourse) I get so annoyed and protective of Ariel when people say that ~she abandonded everything she loved for a guy she didn't know~ excuse me no did you even WATCH the freaking movie? (Not to mention the TV show?) Ariel was desperate to get away from her father and her strict lifestyle COMPLETELY regardless of Eric, he was just a convenient excuse, and I'm pretty sure anyone who watched the TV series would agree that Eric could have been a TURTLE and she still would have made the deal with Ursula, it was never about wanting to be with Eric- that was a happy bonus- it was about being free, and although I'm not an adventurous person I completely understand that, I'll take any opportunity I can get to stab someone's traditionalist opinions (especially if they're in my family) and kick against it as hard as I possibly can, Ariel doesn't want to be what everyone else wants her to be and I'm SEVERELY lucky that I grew up with a mom who never had any of the same ass-backwards thoughts on what I "should" be that most other people did, I spent most of my young life fighting and biting everyone who tried to shove me into a box that I didn't want to be in and it was EXHAUSTING, if an evil witch had offered ME a three-day out solution to what I thought was freedom when I was sixteen? Yeah I would have taken that deal too, plus Ariel is a hoarder, let's be totally honest, and I identify with that, I, like Ariel, collect things- I have treasure troves and treasure boxes and book shelves that are honestly on the verge of collapse (I mean ALOT of them) and I.. may get extremely OCD about things (because hey, mental disorder, fun right?) For example I have a not-so-minor obsession with boxes, I hate throwing out a good box, I'm like a cat that way, if there's any POSSIBLE conceivable use for it I'll find a way to try to keep it (I really do feel sorry for my poor mother...) I sort of hoard wrapping papper too, Christmas is a nightmare just because THERE'S SO MUCH GOOD WRAPPING PAPPER OH MY GOD and I want to buy like twenty sticks of it, I also collect some really unusual things (well, depending on what you define as "unusual") and I have a very hard time letting go of things because I have this sense of "But what if I need it later?", I also LIVE for music, I may not be able to sing (although I used to try really hard) but music is a HUGE part of my life, and there were actually ALOT of episodes in the series where it's made very, very, clear that music is immensely important to Ariel too, not just because she can sing, but because of everything that music represents to her, I'm also a huge animal lover, let's be totally honest if there was ever a chance that I could sneak a baby orca into my room I would have, I love animals and babies and jewlry and those are all things Ariel has been associated with in the TV series (haha... ahhh that charm bracelet that nearly killed her... yeah that's exactly the kind of bullshit stunt I would pull probably) As much as I LOVE the newer princesses like Elsa and Moana, no one is ever going to replace the spot Ariel has in my heart, I still get overwelmingly excited over everything Ariel

Rukia Kuchiki (Bleach)

Oh my God the love I have for this girl... (even though Tite Kubo screwed her over to the point of no return) Rukia was my gateway into alot of things, cosplay, for example, wich I sadly don't do anymore but wich I still deeply, deeply, deeply love, Rukia is everything I WANT to be, she's beautifull and strong and gracefull and powerfull and I really don't have much in terms of her strengths.... her weaknesses, however, are alot like my own, she has virtually no self-esteem (especially at the beginning of the series) a bad temper, no ability to draw, a love of stuffed animals that literally almost costs her a fight at one point (I would throw my sword down and run into a mountain of plushies too...) an insane love for cute things, especially bunnies (I prefer puppies but still! BUNNIES!!) a general weirdness about her taste in things (she can go from creepy horror manga to adorable kitten plushie in zero seconds flat and so can I) she actually wears the exact same style of sundresses that I've been known to wear- especially when I was younger, she's very feminine and girly but really doesn't get into make up or traditional "girly" things like romcoms and gossip and, you know, the things that you hear girls "should" like out of tween magazines, she brawls with the boys and isn't afraid to fight dirty and because she's short that's sometimes all she can do (I'm only about an inch taller than she is) She's very quiet, shy, and respectfull..... if she deems you worthy of that in some way or if you're someone she wants to impress (This is a big reason why convention scenes never worked out for me, I'm very social and outgoing but I was always so worried about impressing other con people that I would just freeze up like a popsicle) Otherwise, if she's comfortable with you in some way, she's pretty brash, headstrong, opinionated, loud, and tempermental, ofcourse she has close freinds who she's very soft and gentle with because that's just how their relationship is, but then she also has freinds who she can freely cuss out at her leisure, I identify with her in alot of ways, in alot of ways- like Ariel- I don't, and alot of things about her are more things that I WANT to be rather than what I AM, but there's more than enough in there to be identifiable

Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf)

I was just telling my mom earlier today how the longer the series goes on the more I identify with him, I think (considering these aren't ranked in order) he's definately the fictional charector I identify with most, there are so many shades of him that are just identical to me to the point where I've heard him have conversations that are almost EXACTLY like conversations I've had, he has relationships that are EXACTLY like relationships I've had, it's uncanny, we're both just squishy humans (well... I'll argue magic!Stiles until the day I die but still) who really are pretty powerless in the big scheme of things so when we're on the offensive we use sarcasm and quick tempered insults to defend ourselves, or go charging into something with a weird weapon without thinking totally prepared to stab someone or smack them over the head if we have to (no kidding, last weekend I ran outside with my Rukia sword- a real sword by the way, althouh dull as cutting board- because I was worried about someone who was acting suspiciously in my driveway, but that's a long, personal story I won't be getting into) We're both bookworms who would much rather study the weirdest things imaginable than what we should *actually* study (Stiles had circimcission, I had manga) We both have really short tempers and although we MEAN well we do tend to bite if we're caught at the wrong moment, we're both at the "I'm pretty sure I'm bi but given my lack of romantic experience I'm also kind of timid about everything" stage, we both play fantasy RPGs (although his are probably more like video games and mine are more indie and group RP blogs) we have alot of the same taste in humor and in media, we both love werewolves to quite a startling amount and would 10000% take the werewolf's side of any argument, we're both very twitchy, very verbal, talk ALOT (if you couldn't tell) and have pretty much the exact same anxiety disorder, I have honestly, honestly, never seen my disorder represented as well anywhere as it is in canon with Stiles, I'm really not exaggerating when I say his is identical to mine, we're very creative people, we'll defend our loved ones with more fire and force than is at times warranted, we both have an IMMENSE love for our moms and a.. complicated... relationship with our dads, we both had some really massive trouble in school that came more out of people being unwilling to accept you when you're different than it did out of being dumb or being unwilling to study, a history of teachers hating us, a tendency to form relationships with people and hold on as tightly as we can even when they start hurting us and we should probably let them go, and I'm pretty sure if it ever came up Stiles would have some pretty awesome conspiracy theories (as do I *cough*) I could really just go on and on and on if you laid Stiles down on a map and started giving me push-pins but it's four in the morning and I'm tired

Yuri Katsuki (Yuri On Ice)

Yuri is probably the second best representation I've ever seen of anxiety (and I only rank Stiles first with that because his particular *type* of anxiety is most like my own, Yuri's and mine have some slight differences but are overall extremely close) and it's just such a constant, nagging,  part of him, the best way to describe it is something I read in a YOI meta once- "At the beginning of the series he was the best male figure skater in Japan and one of the top six in the world but he defines himself as 'your average, dime a dozen figure skater'", and that's... pretty much the disorder to a T, alot of times I know LOGICALLY that I'm better at something than I think I am, or not as bad as I think I am (I'm 21 and have published 13 books in the last three years, I can't be *that* bad of a writer logically but I still *feel* like I am most of the time) We both end up letting our emotions get the better of us, can be obsessive and perfectionists, we both have a soft spot for music and femininity and LOVE dogs, we both clearly prefer food to anything even remotely sexual and would probably marry food if we could (Yuri has katsudon, I have Ranch dressing, enough said) ... even when it hurts us... (Yuri put on weight, I'm actually allergic to alot of types of Ranch dressing and get pretty freaking sick from it sometimes, but does that stop me? No... my mom does, she stops me) We both have really super supportive mothers who have gone out of their way to gamble on something that most people can't make a career out of because they have faith in us, we're both not *great* with social media, we both are often intimidated by people in our talent feilds who are on level with or better than us, neither of us know what the hell we're doing when it comes to anything romantic or sexual (despite mainly RPing //BDSM threads// I actually have never even come somewhat close to finding eros myself- or anything even remotely romantic) We're both very timid about trying new things and need alot of convincing to do it, and if I didn't have a headache right now I could probably think of more

Misty Day (American Horror Story: Coven)

The animal-loving witch who dances with scarves and worships Stevie Nicks? Yeah, this is me, without a doubt, I love all things eccentric, especially clothes and music, I love Stevie Nicks, my own personal hell would probably, in fact, be identical to Misty's- between my immense love of animals and complete unwillingness to hurt them even if it literally saved my life, my utter HORROR stories related to school, being ruthlessly bullied for being weird, being forced to conform when I just wanted to escape..... yep, that's one personal hell for me, we don't think we're anything special and all we really want is to find a place to fit in where we can be who we are without having to conform to anything, neither of us even WANT to be some kind of big supreme thing, we just want to chill with our music and scarves and twirl around with our tribes (or wolf packs, whatever) We're both weird and a mix of outgoing and insecure and really just want some peace and quiet, we're both basically witch-hippies and if you think for one second that I wouldn't do to those alligator hunters exactly the same thing Misty did to them then you are terribly wrong because I //so. would.//, we're both kind of naive and airheaded at times and if I ever met Stevie Nics I would 100% faint from it too

Honorable mention: Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) I've always been a Hermione girl but I probably have alot more in common with Luna, we're both so weird and eccentric and have been pushed around and bullied alot for that, we believe in things that other people don't see or believe in, we have our own weird fashion sense and we're more creative and imaginative than we are academically smart, ofcourse, the thing is, I'm a Slytherin ;)

[randrvstheworld]

The Bogotá Diaries, & a passage to Ecuador

So far, Bogotá had been extremely chill.

After a shopping day & a stir fry (home cooked by us; we have been eating extremely well especially since hanging out with so many vegetarians) we relocated from the Airbnb to a hostel, Lucy in tow as she cancelled her flight & decided to hang with us some more. Hooray!

We’re now back in a Fatima Hostel, the same as Santa Marta; one of the biggest we’ve stayed in & v nice too. You come to appreciate all sorts of trivial things when you don’t live in a house of your own - having plug sockets next to your bunk (this hostel has none), showers with nice hot water & good pressure (this hostel does indeed have these & they are worth a thousand plug sockets). 

Bogota passed in a bit of a blur - Lucy’s last days with us were very well spent but also involved a lot of drinking as we kept going out to celebrate her ‘last night’ & then every morning she’d change her mind & travel plans hahaha. I also wrote a long passage about our trip to the Museo Nacional but tumblr bungled it right up so I’ve only just realised that it did not post - CHEERS TUMBLR. I do enjoy writing about our travels but I’ve been a bit slack about doing it every day of late, too busy having fun but I don’t want to forget anything so I’m gonna try & be a bit more disciplined. Also need to cut back on the drinking & sobriety & being productive do make great bedfellows so I’m gonna get all my business back on track.

So. Bogota. We visited the Museo Nacional - I can’t tell you on what day because as I have learned it’s virtually impossible to keep track of days of the week when you’re unemployed & your life has no structure. But we did. It’s a museum dedicated to the history of Colombia, containing many interesting artefacts & info & art works from hundreds of years of history of the country; a history blighted by Colonisation, & conflict, drug wars & violence but also incredible resilience & art & traditional & a whole indigenous history of it’s own that makes for a truly rich tapestry. One of the things I am enjoying the most about travelling is learning about world history although it is highlighting that my current level of knowledge is embarrassingly poor. Anyway. The museum is housed in an old prison so the building itself is very cool, also slightly eerie, but housed a very varied & interesting collections of stuffs. We inadvertently ended up in some college students’ projects on account of being English. We participated in an interactive & collaborative art installation that involved writing words that we felt related to Colombia on the walls in chalk.

On our way home we attempted to stop for coffee but what we thought was a cafe was actually a Cuban inspired salsa bar that only sold alcoholic beverages & so I was tricked, TRICKED into drinking a very large gin. The bar was very cool, called La Bembe, it was like a 70s disco curiosity shoppe with mirrored walls & neon signs & disco lights & crazy colourful patterns everywhere & a life-size white tiger made of plaster guarding the bottom of a spiral staircase. Precisely my kind of place, a riot of colour & pattern & kitschy motifs.

The following day we took a daytrip out of Bogota into a small town called Zipaquira to visit El Catedral de Sal, a cathedral in an active underground salt mine & the only underground cathedral in the world. It was very eerie, I find churches & places of worship & religious iconography somewhat creepy at the best of times & the fact that it was all underground & spookily lit gave off a very Parisian Catacombes kind of vibe that freaked me out a little because I kept thinking we were going to imminently find ourselves in a horror film, however it was very interesting & a truly unique experience. There were all these corridors & pathways that wound around & further underground; along the way all these big stone cross sculptures lit up in different ways, sculptures of angels & also knaves where mass is still held regularly - they also apparently have weddings there. At the end there is a truly inexplicable light show. My favourite part was the Espejo de Agua, which is a pool only 10cm deep that looks 20m deep because the water inside is so full of sodium that it reflects the ceiling like a giant silver mirror. It was beautiful, like a pool of mercury. We all took turns blowing on it to create ripples to prove it was actually water. 

That evening was Lucy’s actual last night for real this time, so we popped to the hostel bar next door for ‘a couple of quick drinks’, met a hilarious guy from Chicago & before we knew it it was 3am & we were smashed on Aguardiente (a typical Colombian liquor that tastes like aniseed), trying repeatedly to make Chicago dude (real name: Emmanuel) understand the rules of shithead (”WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T PLAY A 4 THERE”). The next day we woke up with heads so sore we sacked off the hostel breakfast (fruit & toast) in favour of a hangover-curing feast at a cute place down the road, where we dined on veggie omelettes & croissants & papaya & fresh OJ & coffee until we felt slightly better, or at least better enough to laze about in the hostel TV room under blankets. Chicago reappeared & bought us all pizza & moaned with us. And then the moment we had been dreading - Lucy left us for Santa Marta. I miss her. She is one of the coolest people I have met & someone I clicked with much quicker than I normally do with people. I’m so glad she lives in London so I’ll be able to hang out with her on the regs when I finally, eventually go home.

Roxy & I were leaving the next day but managed to cram a trip on the funicular up to Montserrate into the morning before we had to leave. Montserrate is a ginormous hill overlooking the whole of Bogota - there’s a church at the top & a beautiful garden & a little market, you take a kind of hillside tram up there & a cable car back down. Needless to say the views were spectacular: Bogota as far as the eye can see on one side, beautiful green luscious hillside on the other. Colombia is truly one of the most beautiful, breathtaking & constantly surprising places I have ever been, my word. I am sad we had to go. I keep thinking back to all the places we visited & getting all emotional that we’re not there any more. It’s also been the setting of the start of many glorious friendships, we’ve met some really lovely people there & partied super hard. Our time in Colombia has been pretty wild so I guess like all good things it had to come to an end but I am quite sad about it. Whenever I start feeling sad about leaving a country it reminds me of how sad I was to leave the UK & all the people I love that live there & I suddenly get struck with a homesickness that aches my heart. I know I will be back at some point but I’m currently wrestling with the idea of whether or not to get a working visa for Australia to prolong the travelling for a bit & also hopefully not return home completely destitute. My only concern is what if I want to come home. I WISH I had enough money to go home for a couple of weeks & just spend 14 days hugging people. I can’t though.

And now, I am in Quito, capital city of Ecuador, where it is cold & I have no towel because I left it hanging on a tree to dry in our hostel in Bogota. We are staying in an AirBnB/guesthouse with very sweet hosts & eagerly awaiting the return of Gabby back into our lives tomorrow evening. Today was spent in my very best way to spend a first day in a new city - a free walking tour. It’s a great way to learn the lay of the land & a lot of history & cultural norms & traditional tips as well. Today I learned about the messy political history of Ecuador & also about the prevalence of blackberries in various juices & dishes which I am now obsessed with trying. Quito is extremely hilly & much prettier than I had expected, not that I was really expecting anything as we ended up here completely by accident due to a flight-booking snafu. But what a happy accident it has transpired to be.

Someone I care about very much said to me the other day that he suspected I may come back from travelling a completely different person. I hope if that is true that I will have only changed for the better. Travelling is certainly making me more confident & a little less uptight, also more humble, & I feel I now have a clearer mind about what I want out of the rest of my life. But I am still me, or at least I hope so. 

Anyway. It’s getting late here & I slept super badly last night on account of my bad knee which is getting worse by the day, keeping me up at night in agonising pain. It’s cold here so I’m wearing my warm clothes for the first time in 4 months. I don’t know what we’re going to do tomorrow, which is a first for me, not having a plan. I kinda like it though. I am naturally a planner - I like knowing what I’m going to do tomorrow, & the next day. But in a way I think it’s good not to know. The only thing that lies ahead is exactly what I choose in that moment.

[edibleflowerseu]

SOUNDS

Alexandre Bazin / Full Moon (2016) [Umor Rex]

“Eleven stunning compositions with a neo-classical signature, an obsessive focus on structure and a refined sense of melody. Emotional compositions serve as interludes to relaxing, post-new age moments, with plenty of space for intuitive beat journeys. An independent-minded composer attuned to the society that surrounds him, he channels the fury of the world into exceptional music marked with poetry. With a free-thinking approach to writing, Alexandre transcends context and genres. Full Moon is the meeting point of early electronic analog exploration and classical minimalism.” (---)

...

What the fuck does that quote even mean. I dunno, bruh. I'm feeling kinda sick and beat af. Need to sleep. Didn't do enough of that last night or the two nights before.

Anyway I've only listened to like four tracks off this but its a lot of fun, I think. I think its fun. I can't tell what is fun anymore, but I still try to have it. U know??

I wanna listen to this more when I have the time but rn gotta meet up with a gal, u know how it is. I honestly just wanted to include this cause it has bangin' artwork I'm very into. An aesthetic I would like to emulate for my own work, whatever or whenever that will be. A reminder to return here when the weather improves.

Burial / Rival Dealer (2013) [Hyperdub]

��Few electronic artists from the last decade have been pigeonholed like William Bevan. Since the London producer behind Burial gained widespread attention with 2007's epochal second album, Untrue, listeners and critics alike have spoken of "the Burial sound"—pitched-down vocal samples, rustling noise, blocky garage rhythms in perpetual decay—as if it were straight gospel ... As imitators big and small have lined up to pay respect, the phrase 'sounds like Burial' escaped the connotation of wishful thinking and started sounding almost like, well, an insult.

Insulting because, as this decade so far has proven, one person who doesn't sound like Burial anymore is Burial himself.” (---)

...

Burial has long been in the domain of “shit I fuck with if I ever decide to fuck with it.” I've known about him a long ass time, been in my radar, and showered with praise in every corner of the internet in which his named is dropped. Good dude, mysterious dude. Wintery dark type dude.

I don't know shit about this genre front as I may. But I like the way it makes me feel, and I want to feel like this more.

Max Richter / The Blue Notebooks (2004) [Fat Cat]

“Conceptually, Max Richter's The Blue Notebooks – German-born composer mixes contemporary classical compositions with electronic elements in a dreamscapy journalogue featuring excerpts from Kafka's The Blue Octavo Notebooks as narrated by Tilda Swinton – reads like a relentlessly precious endeavor, as new age music for grad students, the sort of record that sagely pats you on the back for being smart enough to seek it out. And yet in practice, despite the fact that it is exactly as outlined above, Kafka quotes and all, there is absolutely nothing exclusive or contrived-feeling about it.” (---)

___

“[U]nlike his influences, he's not remotely interested in subverting the traditional rules of composition. Short of one very beautiful moment that plunges an electronic sublow bassline into a deep sea of harpsichords and violas (see: the literally perfect "Shadow Journal"), there is nothing here to suggest that Richter is concerned with anything other than melody and economy. It's a formula he singlemindedly exploits with staggering effect.” (---)

...

I have a problem with Max Richter. Back in college, I took a summer semester film course in which – among other things – I had to watch old ass movies. One of those old ass movies was a bit called Intolerance, which was D.W. Griffith's attempt at redemption after he massively fucked up with the famously racist Birth of a Nation**. Within, it's a handful of unconnected narratives set throughout history (Babylonia, the Renaissance in France, Jesus getting his ass whooped by a cross, and one set in “modern” times a.k.a. 1916). It's pomp, it's pretentious, it's James Cameron in the 1910s. But most importantly, it's two hours and silent. I had to watch a shitty two hour silent film for class. I guarantee u I was the only one who actually did it.

I survived by endlessly looping Richter's Memoryhouse as a quasi-score for the film. It worked incredibly well and I got very into the movie. But now, every time I hear that album or anything from it, an image of a huge and horrifically expensive historical set piece being set on firefor some weak high art film snobbery wedges itself into my subconscious.

The Blue Notebooks wholesale revisits some melodic motifs here and there, which instantly conjured up my past woes. That being said, it was still a killer, moving album. It has Tilda Swinton reading some excerpts from Kafka's journals, which teeters between “ooh this is fun” and “try-hard city.” Generally it is the the former, and upon multiple listens, maybe its always the former.

**ok looked this up actually an urban myth, he apparently made this film in reaction to the intolerance he perceived the NAACP and others had for him after making the famously racist Birth of a Nation. deadass this is Griffith's “you're the real racist for calling me racist.”

UPDATE: briefly checked out Richter's 24 Postcards in Full Colour and its probs my fav thing by him so if u wanna fuck with this dude start there, is what I say.

The Pharcyde / Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde (1992) [Delicious Vinyl]

“Nearly two decades after it was released, Bizarre Ride's dizzying mix of SoCal 420 culture, jazzy bohemianism, self-conscious rap smarts and postmodern pop-cult potpourri is still as entertaining and emotionally satisfying as ever, and with the benefit of hindsight, stands as a perfect snapshot of rap's rapid, diverse ascent to pop status in the early 1990s.” (---) ___

“"We're serious about certain things, but everything is basically a joke. We live through hard shit, but we can laugh about it." (---) ___

“She keeps on passin’ me by”

...

The landscape of the 90s rap canon is some shit. People cite The Pharcyde among the secretly smart, playful-type about-some-regular-shit school of rap, as opposed to the hard, violent and larger-than-life drama of gangsta rap. But there are holes in that view and p much everyone got down w/ Pharcyde despite or because of their foolish fun times. The group is class clowns with classics. “Oh Shit” is one of those transphobic “found out she had a dick, DAAAAAYUM” rap songs that really don't hold up in 2017. Or rather, you can forgive it as a relic from a less-informed time, but it still sours a room if u play it in mixed company.

Anyway, my boi Jesse sometimes reminds me of The Pharcyde (very much without the transphobia), and every disciple of REAL RAP knows wassup. I think I'm getting a fever or some shit can't think straight at all rn. Oh well, I'm still chugging forward. Progression n shit.

Royal Headache / High (2015) [What’s Your Rupture?]

“The ferocity of punk intimidates some. For those entering the field, High is a pair of training wheels. Even the album’s title track, a good-natured romp through the park with friends at your side, sounds like a muted clink of beers in celebration of revolt to come. It’s cheap, sure, but mediocre songs level out the uproar on others.” (---)

...

Another thing involving my boi Jesse. When he was in Budapest he ran into an Australian dude in the Hungarian equivalent of Staples. They became buds and he was visiting him the other weekend. We talked music for a minute and I name-dropped one of the few Australian bands I was legitimately about and the dude lit the fuck up. He was a huge fan of Aussie garage rock and his sister was a pretty big name in the Melbourne scene. Every time the conversation veered back to Royal Headache, I mentioned how huge they were in the US in terms of the scene. Every time he would say, “Royal Headache? Really? Of all bands??” He showed me some music and a lot of it was just Australian versions of Wavves and videos of dudes drinking and smoking. Nothing I was wild into but I saw the appeal.

Later on, high af w/ him and some dudes from my friend's pop punk band and the frontman/drummer asks if the Australian dude knows Royal Headache. Once again, Australian dude was like “of all bands??” People who know whaddup know that Royal Headache is one of a kind. Pop punk frontman tells me Joyce Manor fucks with them. And that's some cred right there.

Soulful croon-shouts, lo-fi power chords, sweat + beer.

Sleater-Kinney / Dig Me Out (1997) [Kill Rock Stars]

“A life-or-death seriousness is omnipresent with Sleater-Kinney, but they never rejected rock's base desires—sex, dancing, proverbial milkshakes—although sometimes they vaguely mocked them. Sleater-Kinney stole from men what men had in turn stolen from the margins: electrified blues that all still made girls scream.” (---)

...

While it's not going swimmingly, I continue my reacquaintance with quintessential guitar rock of the 1990s. I banged through the first couple of Sleater-Kinney albums and was semi-into em. Not something I would reach for immediately but something I would be down with if I was in the right mood.

This is the first album I listened to that sounded like it was made by a band as revered as Sleater-Kinney. The vocals are a clear precedent to the howling vibrato of Screaming Females (Corin Tucker and Carrie Brownstein share vocal duties and I'm pretty sure the aforementioned howl belongs to Tucker?), and the guitar-work sounds deft and deliberate, something by people who knew what they were trying to do. This is in contrast to the earlier albums I had heard, which were good but banked more on raw guitar slamming and ~rebellious~ lyrics. I get the feeling that once I poke around Sleater-Kinney's catalog more and get a real feel for their sonic world, I'll be able to confront older albums I was mixed on with new insights and appreciation. Let’s see what happens.

Sleater-Kinney is a monumental band and I wanna do them justice.

Other shit:

Mobb Deep / The Infamous

DJ SVYATOPOLK / Original Moscow Sound

DJ Camgirl / Problems

Merchandise / A Corpse Wired for Sound

Swum / Runway

Saiko / Breezin’

Jinsang / Gratitude

Jinsang / Solitude

Especia / Gusto

Mounika / Basket Sound