#just to have this kind of childish bullshit over a goddamned poll

[rougedraconteur]

People on here are here because they love something and enjoy it as a release from everyday tension, boredom, struggles. People here have real lives, most are grownups without the time or energy to be anonymous and stir up issues for more followers. They just want to go to their library, find a good story, and escape into a favorite trope about characters they love. The Klaine library has been stellar because they have never forgotten that. Stopandimagineloveforever has been here for as long as I have, and remains committed to the task of supporting klaine fanfic for, is it over a decade now? They have always operated in a very professional manner, largely despite personal feelings they may have toward a story or a person. Over the years, anyone they worked with has done the same. Only in the most extreme circumstances have I ever seen them even waver, and I commend them for that. Our fandom is very, very lucky to have them. And they have respected those who choose to start offshoot contests and support their efforts in large part.

While I see folks I really like, like hkvoyage, sometimes seeming to be shipping seblaine, which I don’t like, I don’t feel the need to block or censor them or to anon myself to mention that they are no longer followed by me and they should stop helping with a library that exists to support klaine. Because that would just be stupid ignorant childish bullshit. I personally like Grant, he seems charming and adorable, but I am allowed to not like Sebastian as I prefer him as the great villian he is. And I actually enjoy Grant’s take on Seb more than his other work, which is why I think so many DO ship the two (or even Kurtbastian) as they like the “bad boy” or currently highly popular in media “anti-hero as central character you love to hate” tropes. He is a so much more “fun” villian than Karovski, who seems truly dark and dangerous and tragic by comparison, and makes me think of Ryan Murphy in high school, iykyk, which I do not like at all. Fandom used to have some brilliant discussions on the show, and some brilliant writers who moved on, sadly. They made you THINK.) I do enjoy those stories where Seb’s villiany, his lies, his cheating and bad behavior, his sluttiness, and his total arrogance do him in, though. I wish it happened in real life more often, js. Seb is perfectly made for politics. Same with Blam, I like Chord, not so much Sam or Chord’s other acting efforts. I think Chris did the best job of trying to salvage a poorly written character throughout the series with his one episode that he was allowed.

And while I love Kurt, and Chris, sometimes my newest favorite authors make Kurt almost uncharacteristically female, or with very feminized characteristics, almost to the exclusion of his masculinity, a take that I personally was never particularly fond of on the show. It is still canon, though, and though I have thoughts about it that involve both the writers and actors on Glee, and shaped further by comments from each over the years, it is fine if writers want that Kurt featured in their stories. I can read it or not, and I don’t offer any criticism to writers who choose that because, again, it can be found in canon. (Even if it wasn’t, it is allowed, but then you are writing another character, imo. Capturing the real Kurt is a true act of genius that I think very few get right, if I am honest. He is a deeply complex character, he has layers, which is a huge part of his attraction for Blaine, who loves the idea of peeling back and enjoying each layer of complexity to the extent that he is never bored and always fascinated, it’s what makes their relationship bond make sense for me.)

I have been in this fandom for going on 14 years now, and I was old before that, and find most people who post know little to nothing about what they are talking about, or sometimes life in general or the topic they are discussing with such vigor in particular, but they think they do. The intelligent, complex, detailed, well-researched, and lively discussions that used to take place here are long gone, because people simply don’t want to hear what they don’t want to hear, like Kurt about his dad’s attempt at sex talk. They choose revised histories and to erase everything they don’t like for their versions, like much of the world today. We all filter through our own lenses. It is simply not worth the discussion anymore, when real life is so dire and critically important, to fight over this. In fact, it is a distraction most of us can ill afford, and no longer enjoyable to grow and learn from others and consider another point of view, as we all feel threatened by differences now. We no longer listen to evidence or opinions, weigh that, and then use our brains to agree to disagree, about particular things, and still enjoy together what parts of fandom we share. God forbid we change our minds or allow for the fact that we can all feel differently about the same characters we love. The same goes for the actors and the lives they show us. I know some people hate Darren’s baggy pants, or Chris’s sky-high hair, and I laugh and think of those folks fondly, not with hate, when I see some things, knowing they will go on a rant because they just will, but knowing they still love these actors so much.

I choose at this point to support Chris and Darren and focus on their career efforts, while reserving my personal opinions for myself and my few friends online, privately, and to love Kurt and Blaine and Klaine, despite some shitty writing at various times through the seasons, and to enjoy the new, and old favorite, Klaine stories I see. If the writing itself is good, I praise and encourage that, especially from new writers, because I know something about that. If it is not to my taste, for any reason, I move on, because someone else may like it. (The squick we used to get from that glee kink site was insane at times, but we all analyzed the hell out of it and what in the show or in real life inspired it and moved through it like little Freuds.) The same goes for klaine art, polls which garner clicks, discussions of glee episodes, and so on. If I don’t like the art (beautiful artwork, especially of Kurt, but tall Blaine is Not Blaine, smol is an essential character trait and shapes his entire being) I now assume No One Cares for a Discussion, sadly, and I just move on.

I even happen to like Kevin and Jenna’s podcast, unlike almost everyone at this point, as I have had a number of things confirmed from this show, which fan discussions, while quite interesting, still cannot do. When the tell us The Quarterback was invasive because it was basically them and not their characters grieving the loss of someone they loved, for our entertainment, and for an almighty dollar, and largely the choice of a very few against the wishes of many; I thought that at the time, though I grieved with them and would have selfishly missed the show deeply, especially at that point of sudden loss. And there is no way that it doesn’t affect how one sees the episode, which is full of traumatized actors giving stunning first takes on camera for voyeurs. Chris, especially, and Naya, for another, carried a tremendous amount of the weight of that episode, as written by RM, along with the older members of the cast, despite my seeing Chord recently say Cory was his best friend on set and that he took his loss very hard at the time, he has next to no presence here in this episode. Darren was a key spokesperson in the days after, though he, too, is minimized in this episode, while Chris himself virtually disappeared in public. That episode simply cannot exist for discussion in a vacuum.

This fandom is united by Klaine and thus includes folks who love both Darren and Chris, so Criss Colfer, at least as friends and former co-workers who exist in the same universe with a shared history, is shipped here by default. So, can’t we just all get along? While we may love one character or actor more than another, we are united in that we have crossover, and always will. These characters, and these actors, respectively, had too much impact in that shared narrative, and as vibrant personalities in real life, to just fade away.

Or we can look at one another across our divisions and choose to kill this fandom with foolishness, to the detrement of all. Including the actors.

Anon hate - @klainepolls and @carsonphillips

I want to address the issue of Anon hate to Caroline (carsonphillips) and Klainepolls.  At the very beginning, when the polls seemed to me to be anti-Blaine, I did Anon saying would they please stop the negativity towards Blaine.  Then when I saw the poll about whether Blaine cheat again  - I sent them a message asking "would the next poll be about Kurt accepting phone numbers from weird guys in music shops"  or something like that.  Because yes, I was pissed off with the cheating poll, and should have calmed down before hitting the send button. When people talk about "Anon hate" - to me that meant being nasty and calling names etc.  I want to make it clear that I was never nasty in my messages, I hope Caroline knows that was not my intention, maybe my tone was upsetting or annoying. (if any were nasty, I want to let her know it wasn't me. Plus I have seen some she posted that are definitely not me.) I know Caroline has said she is receiving a lot of hateful emails. I want to make it clear that i only sent a few anon, but anyway, I accept I should have sent none.

Yes, i was a dick because i was getting overheated at someone else's view of/hc/jokes about my favorite character. I lost sight of the fact that this was a fictional character, and over reacted, I should have been more mature and had a realty check that there's much more awful things happening irl. I have discussed "anon hate" with another mutual, who has told me that any form of going into a person's inbox to ask them to defend their headcanons can be viewed as a form of harassment, and cause upset. I acknowledge that now.

A few years ago i was accused by someone of sending her anon hate. Even though she was a Klaine fan, she kept saying things which I didn't like about Blaine and Blam.   She wouldn't answer my personal messages.   So in a short period I sent Anon to her asking her to justify what she was saying  about Blaine and Blam -  but I never said anything mean to her, but i can see they were annoying.   She obviously called me out on her blog.   So I learnt to be careful what to send anon after that, but in last few weeks due to crabbiness and lack of judgement, I messaged Caroline/Kp by anon, when I shouldn't have.  

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I want to take this opportunity to publicly apologise to Caroline and Genevieve for any insult or upset I caused them.

Going forward, I don't intend to use my blog, I won't be engaging with anyone anymore from it. I will be taking a break from tumblr, and assess in six months time what I will do with my blog.

With regards to the library, Caroline messaged @stopandimagineloveforever to ask how I can continue to help there, people think their fics will not be promoted. That would not happen. I am currently discussing the way forward with @stopandimagineloveforever.

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We all make mistakes. I hope my apologies can be accepted, and we can all move on.