#just think that it should be noted that once again earth is wearing exclusively mix's clothes :)

[ohnomalora]

Excerpts of EarthMix at Fandom Live presented without context

[jincherie]

lunacy | 01

☽ ● | members: seokjin x reader x jungkook ☽ ● | genre: poly, wolf au, mates au, college au, urban fantasy, angst, smut ☽ ● | wc: 10.7k+ ☽ ● | warnings: none in particular in this part! ☽ ● | notes: here is the first part ! I think this one is going to end up being one of the longer series, so pls send me an ask and lmk what kind of tropes/scenarios u love to see in wolf aus! i wanna make this as self indulgent as possible LMFAO

The entirety of your introduction and exposure to wolves has been at the hands of Jimin and Taehyung, who over the course of your study have arguably become your best friends. It isn't until they drag you to a party held at their packhouse that you meet the rest of their pack, though-- and once you do, thing's already aren't the same as they were before;...

Wolves mate for life, and wolves are almost exclusively monogamous. It's rare for a wolf to have a human mate, and even more unheard of for a wolf to have more than one mate. Unfortunately for you, an incident at this party lands you in the middle of every exception there could possibly be.

 — posted; 09.09.2020 | prologue ● next▸

The air is crisp and the plants coloured cool around you, but you're not cold.

You recognise this clearing you're in, but not from the waking world. No, you recognise it because just as it is right now, it has been the set of your dreamscape before. So it's familiar, as you gaze upon it, but at the same time something tingles under your skin in anticipation of the unknown that the shadows hold just beyond the treeline.

It must be early morning, you think to yourself, as you allow your gaze to slip to the sky. It's just fading out of the darkened caress of the night as you look upon it, tinting lighter with each breath you take. You love mornings, you recall with familiarity-- you especially love mornings like this.

There's a slight mist in the air. You don't notice it until you direct you gaze back down to the dewy earth, eyes captured by each patch of wildflowers and blotch of colour. It feels almost magical, really, but for some reason... that isn't the tone of this moment.

You don't know what it is, but something curls in your stomach a little like anticipation. What are you waiting for? You know you've seen this place before, but you can't remember when, or why...

At some point you've taken a seat in the meadow, and while a part of you expects dampness to seep into your skin, you remain safe and dry. It's comfortable. This is the nicest dream you've ever dreamt, a distant part of you surmises. You're just running your hands through the silky blades of grass and watching the dewdrops collect on your skin when a soft snap sounds far to your left.

You probably should be alarmed, but when you look up it's only in curiosity. What you see, again, should be cause for alarm-- but for some reason, the sight of the great, hulking wolf lingering at the edge of the treeline doesn't cause you anything but a flutter in your stomach.

It's not alone, you notice a moment later as something emerges from the shadows beyond it. There are two of them, both massive but one of them a little bigger than the other-- it is leaner and its limbs are longer, though, while the shorter one is thicker in its form, each limb corded with muscle.

For a moment they stare at you, and when you catch the golden hue of their eyes that gleams a little too bright to be natural, you realise they're not normal. Of course, within the walls of this dream you take it in stride.

The way they hover all the way over the other side of the meadow is almost... hesitant. You tilt your head, watching as they stay calmly in place. When you speak it's without even thinking, but you're not bothered by what comes out.

"You can come over here, you know?" you say, offering them a smile. How cool will it be if you can manage to make friends with two wolves! Regardless of their unnatural size and stature, and, now that you think about it, their colouring...

The first to move is the bigger one, its coat a gorgeous mix of sand and caramel, with streaks of white marking around its eyes and ears, as well as fitting around its front paws like boots. You'd noticed that he was a little leaner than the other earlier, but you're realising now as you watch him advance slowly that that doesn't mean he's any weaker. Each stride he takes makes dense muscle shift beneath his skin and fur, and you're slightly in awe of the power contained in his limbs as he moves.

The other wolf is no less magnificent to behold-- its fur is a curious blend of charcoal and ink, speckled with streaks and patches of dark chestnut that gleam rosy in the sunlight. Its eyes are the same unnatural amber as the other wolf's, but the way that they bore into you are oddly akin to that of a puppy.

You don't move when they come close enough that they're within reach, allowing them to move at their own pace. You're not left waiting long, though, before the smaller one trots closer, hesitation forgotten.

"Oh!" You're taken aback when it leans forward suddenly, shoving its massive, inky head against your shoulder with such strength you almost fall back, were it not for the other wolf flopping down behind you and supporting you with its massive form. Ordinarily you'd be worried you're about to be torn to pieces, especially when faced with its massive maw and large teeth, but when it rubs its head against you with a soft whine sounding from the back of its throat, you know it doesn't mean you any harm.

"Oh, you're a cute one," you murmur distractedly, allowing your hands to rise and sink into its fur. It brushes like silk against your skin, and the wolf is so pleased that it simply flops down against you, resting it's head in your lap and pushing it against your stomach.

Something lights up in you, something warm like you've settled close to the glow of a campfire and the heat is sinking into your bones. You're content, so content, and you don't even know why? But oddly enough, in this moment you're not really bothered by that.

Right as you begin to settle back into the warmth and the rhythmic lull of their breathing as they rest against you, something niggles in the back of your brain-- a shard of familiarity, do you know these wolves? How would you know these wolves?

"Who are you?" you find yourself mumbling tiredly, the world around you beginning to shrink back until your brain is only aware of you and the warmth pressed against you.

The wolf in your lap turns its head so that its large eyes are boring into your own. It's still, tail thumping once against the ground, but something stirs in the back of your brain at his gaze. Recognition that filters like sunlight onto little pieces of information in your brain until they merge into something coherent.

It dawns on you with a soft gasp-- you know them, you do. They're--

x - x - x

"Rise and shine, buttercup! I'm sick of having to silence your alarms for you! If you don't get up this time I can and will take photos of your sleeping face! You know, with your mouth all open and drool on your pillow--"

A groan escapes you that you don't quite recognise as a sound you can make, your eyes cracking open to the sight of your roommate's bright, grinning face very close to your own. The first conscious thought to cross your brain is that she does, in fact, look very punchable right now, bending over just so she can hover her face in front of your own with that shit-eating grin.

"Jihyo go away," you slur, sleep still having a very firm grasp on your brain and vocal cords. You slam your face into the pillow, yanking the duvet over your head. Your peace lasts all of 0.03 seconds before your demon of a roommate yanks the cover almost entirely off your bed, revealing your curled form to the cool air and making you whine.

"Why?" you whine, clutching the dinosaur pillow in your hold closer to your chest. "L'me sleep..."

"Nope, nuh-uh," Jihyo moves over to give you a firm smack on the ass, making you yelp and jerk out of your sleepy haze so harshly that you almost fall off the bed. Ow! "I snoozed your alarm for you five times this morning, buttercup. No more! Get up."

"Jihyo," you whine, giving her an accusing look over your shoulder as you rub your stinging behind. "You didn't even hit me where my skin was covered, you cow."

The girl simply shrugs, hands on her hips as she decides that her work here is done and begins to make her way to the door. "That's on you for wearing shorts to bed in autumn, bub. Anyway, you really do have to get up because it's like, what, nine-thirty? And you have a class at ten, so..."

At first you simply blink, her words ringing in your ears but not really sinking in, until they suddenly do and you're leaping from your bed with a yelp.

"Jihyo!"

She cackles, the absolute madwoman, and promptly exits your room. "Better hurry, buttercup!"

At her departure you fly into a panicked rush to get ready, darting around your room and grabbing things at the speed of light. You don't have time to dwell on the contents of the dream you'd been having before you were so rudely awoken, and as you fling yourself around your apartment the remaining slivers you remember of it slip from your brain and out of your grasp until the next time.

x - x - x

Regrettably, all your rushing didn't help you earlier; you still arrived late to class. Your only saving grace is that it was a lecture instead of an actual class, and the professor had been playing a video for the cohort when you arrived and so the lights had been conveniently dimmed for you to slip right in to the back unnoticed.

It actually ended only a few minutes ago, and now you find yourself walking distractedly on the way to your next class, mind lost in all the thoughts you didn't have time to entertain this morning. Fleetingly, the dream flicks through your mind-- what's left in your memory of it, anyway. You can barely conjure any of the details, or even what the two wolves looked like in whole, but the feeling it left behind lingers still in the pit of your abdomen.

You don't understand it. You've been having this dream almost every night for the past week, aside from the nights where you got too little sleep to remember your dreams. Ever since that night when Taehyung and Jimin dragged you to their packhouse, each night has greeted you with the same dream of two wolves in some meadow and you don't know why. Were they that impressionable? Were you so wowed by the sight of the wolves racing that you committed it to your memory subconsciously? Maybe… it’s a possible reason, but it doesn't feel like the reason.

It started as something small, but as the week progressed there was something, a feeling, a sensation, that grew inside you until it stirred restlessly beneath your skin, like now. You're not sure what it is. You feel like you need to be on the move, like there's somewhere you need to be, or you're forgetting something. But you've checked, and you haven't forgotten something, there's nowhere else you're meant to be. So this feeling stirring around your navel... you don't know what to do about it.

Then again, you ponder as you approach the building that holds your next class, perhaps it's just the weird feeling the dreams have been leaving you with that has been making you feel so odd and on edge.

When you enter, your attention is surprisingly not immediately captured by two particular loud men as it usually is the second you step foot in the room. Thanks to their annoyingly sharp senses, the two of them can usually smell you coming before you even reach the door. Admittedly, you're not sure if you're ever going to get used to being told that you have a smell, even if it's not in the usual insulting way. Something you're just going to have to get used to, though, considering you attend a university alongside many supernaturals, two of which are some of your closest friends.

Despite the fact that you weren't accosted upon entry this time, unlike how you usually are, the two boys you begrudgingly call friends are here, seated towards the back of the room. You wonder what stopped them from performing their usual ritual of behaviour as you approach them, but the answer comes to you when you see the light frowns on their faces and the slight bags under their eyes.

"Woah," you remark, taking a seat at the rounded table next to Jimin-- they start slightly at your appearance, ringing some alarm bells in the back of your mind. "You two look like shit. Are you okay?"

Taehyung makes a face, and Jimin gives you a smile that comes out more like a wince.

"We're fine," he says, reaching up to scrub his face with a hand. "Just... a little tired."

You tilt you head, wondering if they're going to tell you why of their own accord or if you're going to have to dig and drag it out of them. Taehyung must recognise the look on your face, because he's letting out a little huff of a laugh and enlightening you in the next moment.

"It's just... some of the members of our pack," he says, yawning. Your mouth falls open in realisation; ah, so it's a wolf thing. You're even more curious now, though. You love learning more about the creatures that walk among the population— plus, they're your friends so you feel like you should learn as much as you can about them.

"Are they causing trouble?" you ask, remembering the events of the other night with an odd shiver that isn't quite anything you can name.

Both males let out a laugh, quietening only as the tutor enters the room and lets out a greeting. Today's class isn't too interactive though, and for the majority of it you're left to your own devices to complete work at your own pace. As soon as the tutor is done telling you all the agenda, Jimin is speaking quietly from next to you.

"It's not that they're causing trouble," he says, tone soft and airy. You like his voice a lot, Taehyung's too— actually, from what you can remember, every single member of the pack had a nice voice. Is it a werewolf requirement or something? Jimin's dark eyes flit from the teacher to you, mouth twisting as though he's trying to figure out how to word what he wants to say next. "It's just that..."

"You know a little bit about wolves, and the hierarchy that runs in packs, right?" Taehyung continues in Jimin's place, blinking at you. You nod, holding your hand up to gesture that your knowledge is so-so at best. "Well, within a pack there are the usual ones you've probably heard-- the alpha, the betas, omegas."

"Ah, yeah, I've heard about that," you say, unable to help the way you lean forward in interest. Taehyung smiles wryly.

"Well, there's a little more to it than that. In our pack, Jiminie and I are deltas," he hums gaze flicking upwards as he ponders how to proceed. "So our role, when we fall back into our dynamics, is largely watching territory, but it also includes taking care of ill and wounded members of the pack."

"Two of the members are sick," Jimin says, turning to you a split second later. "The two that bowled you over, actually."

"Oh," you say, recalling the handsome faces of the two wolves that had inadvertently caused your drink to end up on you and you on the ground that night. "So, they're sick and you've been looking after them? So you're tired? They should be okay though, right? I mean, you're wolves. You bounce back quickly."

The two males share a look before turning back to you, voices still hushed so that you don't draw your tutor over to where the three of you are, most definitely not doing the work assigned.

"That's just the thing, though," Jimin says, a troubled expression crossing his features. "We're wolves, we don't really get sick. The only kind of sickness that gets us is a flu that has mutated from another supernatural creature, but even so... they should have been better by now."

"It's like they just keep slowly getting worse," Taehyung says, frowning. "Jiminie and I are running ourselves into the ground trying to keep up and monitor them. We just can't figure out what's wrong to get on top of it."

"Oh," you say, an unknown feeling welling up inside you. It's something like longing, with a certain twist of urgency. You don't know what drives you to say what you did next. "Well, uh... is there anything I can do to help? You guys look exhausted."

"You wouldn't mind?" Jimin asks, sounding surprised. "Even after the other night? I know it must have been scary."

"Well, I mean, a little bit," you admit, scratching the back of your neck. "But it was also cool as hell. Your wolf forms are so awesome, I kind of wish I got to see it sooner."

"You haven't even seen ours!" Taehyung says, a little louder than intended. When the three of you look up to catch the tutor giving you the stink-eye, you bow your heads and remain silent for a while to get him off your backs.

"For real though," Jimin says a while later, hand still scribbling answers to the activity even as he talks softly. "If you're serious about wanting to help, we'd really appreciate it. The others are all caught up with either schoolwork or other obligations so it's been a little exhausting."

"I don't mind," you say, offering the two a brief smile before going back to pretending to work. "I'm happy to help. Plus... I feel a little bad that I didn't get introduced to them properly, you know?"

Taehyung snorts softly, grinning down at the table. "Yeah, that's true. Thanks, y/n."

You offer him another smile, hoping that they can't sense the way your gut flutters and churns with an unnamed feeling. "Of course."

x - x - x

When you offered to give Taehyung and Jimin a hand with looking after their sick packmates, you were expecting to be making soup or something for them to take over. You weren’t, as it happens, expecting for the two of them to rock up at 6PM while you’re in the middle of a belated cardio workout (which was only happening because you have schoolwork that you were procrastinating at the time) to grab you and drag you back over to their pack dorm to actually, physically help out.

“Why is it every time I come here, I’m always being dragged?” you question, hints of a whine to your voice. They hadn’t even let you change! You’re still in your workout gear, which, granted, consists of just a singlet and tight, ankle-length exercise pants, and isn’t that risqué—but still! The weather is getting colder these days and so are you, right now! If it weren’t for the absolute furnace that is their body temperature and the heat of their hands on your arms, you think you’d be shivering.

“You’ve only been here twice, and this is the second time,” Jimin says dismissively, hand gripping your arm as he leads you up the stairs to their front door. You have a funny feeling in your gut that you can’t quite pin, similar to the last time you were here, but now you don’t even have time to dwell on it before you’re thrown into the pack dorm once more.

It’s much tidier than it was last time.

You’re taken aback by how clean and, well…spacious it is, now that there’s not drunk adolescent bodies crammed everywhere. It’s a very modern layout, as you noticed last time, and tastefully decorated. From what Jimin and Taehyung told you, most of the bedrooms are upstairs and the lowest floor contains most amenities like the kitchen, gym room, etcetera…

The door closes with a resounding thud behind you, and there is a call from beyond the hallway, where you recall the kitchen to be. You don’t think you recognise the voice, though.

“Tae, Jiminie, you’re back!” There is a pause, and something that sounds suspiciously like a sniff. Suddenly, you’re mortified to be the only human here again. “…Who do you have with you?”

Before you’re anywhere near composed enough to be meeting another member of their pack, the two devious bastards are pushing you forwards and around the corner, into the kitchen once more. You have a very sudden, terrible flashback to the last time you were in this kitchen and on instinct you’re scanning the room for a familiar raven-haired male.

To your relief, Yoongi isn’t anywhere to be seen—there is someone at the kitchen counter though, someone that you don’t recognise at all. You freeze, offering a sheepish grin as the two wolves you somehow call your friends hold you in place. Like you could even attempt to get away anyway.

The new figure is taller than Jimin, but not taller than Taehyung. His hair is dark, cherry red, but you can spy some regrowth coming through at the roots, and before you even see the rest of his face you can tell from his eyes and the creases at their ends that this man smiles a lot. You’re proven right when he easily returns the smile you’d flashed him earlier, shooting it at you like a sunbeam. It almost, honest to god, disorients you where you stand.

“Hey Hobi,” Taehyung greets, grinning brightly. “This is y/n, we brought her around at the last party but you were, ah… previously occupied.”

The man before you has the decency to flush slightly, a sheepish grin tugging his lips. You’ve never seen a heart-shaped smile before now, but you’re glad this attractive man was the first one to show you the light.

“Ah… right.” He chuckles, before placing the bowl in his arms onto the counter and offering you a hand. “Sorry to have missed introductions, especially when Tae and Jiminie talk so much about you! I’m Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi, or Hope if you’d like.”

Hope. It clicks together in your head and your own face flushes as you recall last time when they said he, Hope, was off practicing the karma sutra with someone. Mortified that you recalled that tidbit now of all times, you push it from your brain and try to focus on the other things he said.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you say, shaking his hand. You can’t help the way you grumble after though, giving Jimin and Taehyung a glare. “And I hope they haven’t talked too much. Every time I’ve heard them tell one of you about me, it’s always something humiliating.”

“Oh, like being caught watching Ouran Host Club in your lecture?” Hoseok asks, head tilting slightly as he picks the bowl back up. You wince instinctively, and he laughs. It doesn’t get any less humiliating every time you hear it.

“Yup,” you say, feeling very much like you wished you hadn’t agreed to help at all. “Something like that.”

He smiles, but thankfully doesn’t tease you further. Instead, he turns his attention to the two boys beside you.

“What did you bring her for?” he asks, curiosity the only thing you can identify in his tone. Jimin wastes no time in sealing your fate.

“She offered to help when we told her Kookie and Jin were sick!” he says, smacking your shoulder like a proud parent. It was almost a little too hard, and you cough slightly from the impact. Taehyung rubs a soothing hand over the place of impact, giving his brother a look. “So we brought her over, since the others can’t stay and you’re the only one that can run classes at the studio right now.”

Hoseok’s mouth forms an ‘o’, dark eyes flicking to you in surprise. “Oh, that’s very kind of you,” he remarks, flashing you another billion-watt smile. “Thank you, for that. We’re not usually this hopeless at caring for ourselves but one of the ones that’s sick is the one that usually cares for us so… we’ve kind of been running around like headless chickens, heh.”

You shrug, finally feeling a little more settled and a little less like you’d like to flee at the first available opportunity. You’re still very keenly aware of the fact that this is only the second—and first, in Hoseok’s case—time meeting these people, and it’s therefore a little awkward for you. But, to their credit, the way they’re just taking it in stride is really helping you feel less out of place.

Even though technically you hadn’t even planned on coming anywhere near here….

“It’s no problem,” you say, unsure how else to receive his words. He’s still smiling, though, so you’re guessing that he wouldn’t have been too bothered however you answered.

“How are they?” Taehyung asks, soft baritone brushing the air. There’s palpable concern in his voice, and when you glance his way his expression confirms it.

“Well,” Hoseok says, placing the bowl down on the counter again, except with a little more oomph this time. You’re beginning to grow curious as to what exactly is in there. “They’re not any better, but they’re not exactly any worse, either, so… I’m not sure how to answer. Although—”

He smacks his hand onto the counter, a wooden clatter following from the spoon in his grasp, and your eyes widen at the light gashes on the back of his hand. They’re open but not bleeding, as though they’re in the midst of healing, but they look like they were deep at some point. “—Jin has been getting a bit of an attitude, so it’s probably for the best that you brought her. The two of you are going to have to deal with him; she can deal with Kookie, if she needs to. He’s just been sulky.”

“Jin got an attitude?!” Jimin sounds incredulous, and you figure that whichever one is Jin mustn’t normally kick up much of a fuss if he’s reacting like that to the information. “What, why? Did one of you step on his paw again?”

For a moment, you think it’s just a figure of speech, like a wolf thing, but then Hoseok huffs and grumbles, rolling his eyes. “No! That was only once! No one went near his stupid paws this time. He’s been shifted ever since he started feeling sick but he’s only just started getting snappy. He’s a little testy right now… it’s why I was down here, making him stupid treats because he can’t eat human desserts in this form.”

Wait, so both of them… are wolves right now? You’re suddenly a little nervous, but do your best not to show it—somehow, despite the fact their senses are so much more advanced than yours and usually you’d be instantly found out, they’re a little too distracted with the issue currently on their hands to notice.

As though he can hear the slander being thrown around on the floors below him, there is a sudden long, muffled howl that pierces the air—the sound is weaker than you’d expect but still startles you, making you jump. As it ends, it’s followed by a thump and a series of thunks and rattles, like something had been knocked off a shelf. Hoseok rolls his eyes, and you put the pieces together and realise that must have been the wolf in question.

Jimin is wincing, reaching to take the bowl and spoon into his hands. “Uh, okay—we’ll keep an eye on him, and I’ll finish making his, uh… his scooby snacks. You can get going, I know you have a class ready to start in, like, ten minutes.”

Hoseok shoots his packmate a thankful look, more being said with his eyes than you’re privy to as a complete stranger. Now he’s relieved of his duties for the night,

“Thank you,” he says, passing Jimin the whisk that lay discarded at the other end of the bench. You then watch as he moves around the counter to grab what you quickly realise is a gym bag from its perch on the table. You half expect him to wave and then be on his way, but he halts partway towards the door, something on the tip of his tongue.

“If they don’t get better…” he trails off, brows furrowed. It’s in this moment that it really sinks in for you that their packmates must be quite sick for them to be so concerned, and you feel bad that you regretted being dragged here earlier. Jimin and Taehyung are your friends and they need help caring for their pack, their family. You feel crummy for opposing it even a little bit.

Hoseok shakes his head, brows furrowing further. “No, even if they do start to get better—I think we should call the Head Healer. This isn’t normal, and whether its some supernatural flu or something else I think they should know. I’ll tell Yoongi to call his dad, but be prepared to tell him in case he forgets.”

The two males beside you nod, Jimin’s orange locks bouncing from the fervour with which he did so.

“Will do,” Taehyung affirms, nodding towards the redhead. “We’ll take care of them in the meantime.”

Hoseok nods, expression lightening for a fraction of a second. His gaze is soon flitting back to you, a smile that makes your heart skip a beat on his lips. “It was a pleasure to meet you, despite the circumstances,” he declares politely, even if the gleam in his eye is anything but. It takes all of your willpower to keep a straight face. “I’d love to get to know you a little more sometime—”

“YAH get out of here you slimy—” Jimin is huffing suddenly, red-faced and outraged, waving his arms before darting forward to chase his packmate out. “Don’t speak to her like that! She’s off-limits! Do not put your dirty whore hands anywhere near—”

The two of them disappear around the corner, but the sound of Hoseok’s cackling and Jimin’s indignant yells reach you loud and clear anyway. As Jimin sees his packmate off at the door, Taehyung picks up the bowl and resumes where Hoseok left off, and you’re left wondering just how this night is going to go with two massive wolves upstairs needing to be cared for.

x – x

“Okay, so… here’s the plan.”

You listen attentively, fidgeting on the spot and wishing not for the first time that these two idiots had let you change before dragging you here to help out. The sweat has made your head itchy, and you’re trying so hard not to scratch it that you feel your hands trembling. Thankfully, the two wolves beside you remain none the wiser to your inner turmoil and the occasional stink-eye you throw their way.

“Me and Jiminie are gonna go deal with Jin-hyung,” Taehyung says, pausing as a loud thump echoes from the floor above. The three of you are standing at the foot of the stairs, and had been about to go up before the taller man halted you all to make a game-plan. “It… seems like it’s gonna be a two person job. I don’t know what his problem is…?”

He looks to the side to Jimin as he trails off, but his friend merely shrugs, no closer to knowing the source of his packmate’s behaviour than he is. Taehyung huffs, turning to you. “And you can handle Kookie. Just take his food up for him, apparently he’s just been sulky and he’s not aggressive in wolf or human form so you shouldn’t have anything to be worried about.”

You nod as he hands you a bowl of cooked and seasoned meat that makes even your mouth water from the aroma wafting with steam into the air. “Great. That really comforts me, thank you.”

Taehyung grins and Jimin rolls his eyes. “If he allows it, could you check his temperature when you go up there? I know we usually run hot, but we’ve noticed that with whatever sickness this is their temperatures fluctuate a lot. It’ll be really helpful if you can just tell us whether he’s warm or cold.”

You nod again, Jimin appearing satisfied with his instruction. Taehyung throws his hand in the air, almost dislodging the bowl in his hold as he does so. “Alright! Autobots, roll out!”

You simply turn to go up the stairs first, already hearing Jimin deliver his packmate with a firm whack for being an idiot. You reach the top of the stairs and pause, eyes sweeping across the hallway and the abundance of closed doors with little or no distinguishing characteristics. Well, shit.

“Last door on the right, y/n!”

Perfect. Off you go.

As you approach the end of the hallway, another door opposite the one you’re heading towards, the feeling that has been sitting dormant in your abdomen suddenly stirs to life. The tugging around your navel is more persistent than ever, leaving you confused and a little disoriented as you finally reach the last door on the right. To your surprise, there is a shuffling sound from the door opposite, on the left side of the hall, and a low, baleful whine that reaches you through the wood and makes your heart drop and clench. You don’t think you’ve ever reacted so strongly to, well, anything before.

Shaking your head and hearing the other two follow behind you in the hall, you grasp the doorknob of the door you’ve been directed to and ease it open, slipping inside as quietly as possible before closing it behind you. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself and attempt to smother the quickened pace of your heart before it’s beating gets too loud, you slowly look up from the door handle and survey the rest of the room.

It’s chic, a stylish combination of white and various cool greys across the room. The window is open but the dark curtains drawn, the breeze ruffling them ever so slightly and making you shiver as it reaches you from across the room. It’s nice, you admit to yourself, momentarily forgetting why you’re there. You’re quickly reminded once more, however, at the sight of the massive furry lump sprawled across the queen-sized bed. The main overhead light isn’t on, but the bedside lamps are and it’s enough to illuminate the wolf left in your care for the time being. There’s something about him that tickles familiarity in the back of your mind as you survey his form; his coat is a sleek mixture of ink and charcoal, fur illuminated dark chestnut where it falls beneath the light. You can’t quite put your finger on why you feel something stir inside you at the sight of him, this massive wolf sprawled across the bed, and for the time being you decide to give up on attempting to understand it.

Adjusting your hold on the bowl in your hands, you move closer to the bed, unable to help the way you keep admiring this wolf’s majestic form even as he faces away from you. You know this one is the member called Jungkook, but you can’t quite put a human face to the name to recall which wolf it was that bowled you over a week ago. 

Initially, you thought that he might have been asleep, but as you grow closer to the bed you hear the softest whimper enter the air, followed by a thin whine. You freeze, looking up just in time to see a large, heavy-lidded, amber eye watching you move. Distantly, you realise that this is the sort of sight that should be making you freeze in fear. Instead, the only thing you feel is something odd and foreign, curling warmly in the pit of your abdomen. You’re not sure what to do with it, and to be honest it gives you pause. 

“Uh, hey,” you say softly, feeling a little awkward. The wolf gives a huff, blinking his large eye somewhat owlishly—while he didn’t seem to really see you earlier, he appears to be registering your appearance now. “We’ve met before… I’m Taehyung and Jimin’s friend. They said that you guys were sick so I offered to help out…”

The wolf shuffles in place, looking a little more alert. Thankfully, as Taehyung had promised, he doesn’t seem aggressive or anything like that. Actually, he seems about the opposite—as he rises to a slightly more elevated position on the bed, now facing you, he lets out another long, low whine. It makes your insides clench with something like sympathy. You place the bowl where he can reach it and immediately the wolf starts devouring his meal.

There is a sudden yowl that pierces through the walls and makes you jump, but the wolf before you couldn’t be more unbothered. In the blink of an eye the bowl is emptied and licked clean, the wolf’s massive head lifting to pin you with a look that seems to say ‘what next?’. You move the bowl so it isn’t tipped, placing it on the bedside table next to a black Nintendo Switch console there. Before you can flounder too much, you recall Jimin’s instructions from earlier.

“Oh, I need to check your temperature, as well…” you inform him, still speaking softly. There is a bit of a commotion from beyond the bedroom door and you think you hear Taehyung holler something stupid, but can’t be sure. You decide to ignore it.

Tentatively, you reach your hand up, simply going for the wolf’s forehead or the closest thing to it. To your surprise, despite the minute nod that the wolf had offered you just before, now he seems to be moving his head just out of reach every time you come close. There’s a peculiar gleam in his big puppy eyes that you can’t quite decipher, almost something sly as you continue attempting to place the back of your hand against his head. His relentless shifting ends up with you leaning over the bed to reach him, and you realise a little too late just how unstable you are. Finally, he allows you to place your hand against his head, but it lasts for barely a second before the bed is shifting suddenly and then you’re falling onto the mattress with an ‘oof!’.

The wolf huffs, a massive arm laying over your hips and his head flopped down on your chest just below your breasts. You can feel your face heat in a combination of embarrassment, confusion, and fluster. For a moment, you’re too stunned to even move.

“What are you—” you can’t even finish a full sentence, you’re so flustered. “I only need to take your temperature! Let me up, please—”

You attempt to move, or even prop yourself on your elbows, and the wolf whimpers, pitifully, more of his weight bearing down on you. You pause before trying again and receiving the same reaction, this time with a mournful whine tacked onto the end.

“You’re a big baby,” you find yourself saying, tone much closer to exasperated scolding than you might have expected. “Are you really not gonna let me up?”

In response, you receive a huff and an adjustment of the wolf’s hold on you that makes it even more difficult for you to get up from the bed, his massive paw pressing into the mattress on the other side of you. When you let out a heavy sigh, he whimpers and butts his head against you, the action oddly affectionate.

“I can’t believe this,” you mutter, staring at the ceiling and wondering what on earth has just happened in the past few minutes. Since you can do nothing else, you take the opportunity to finally touch his forehead and take his temperature. He’s a little cool, but oddly doesn’t stay that way; it’s like you can feel him warming beneath your hand.

Really, you’re pretty much trapped right now. You’re not as scared as one might think you would be, and you don’t really know what you’re feeling in response to the situation. You do know that something flips and flutters inside you every time you move and you hear him whimper, or whine and snuggle closer. This wolf is almost the size of a bear and is snuggling all over you like a teacup puppy.

You’re not sure how long you lay in spot before your two idiot friends finally realise you’ve been gone a little too long for the menial tasks you were given and come knocking. The creak of the door easing open makes you jump slightly in surprise and the hackles on the wolf to raise ever so slightly.

“y/n, what is taking you so l—oh. Oh my gosh.”

Your head whips in the direction of the door, and a pleading look is already on your face before you can even think to muster it. Taehyung and Jimin stand stock still in the doorway, faces portraying an almost comical amount of shock. Jimin squints, rubbing his eyes as though he’s making sure he’s really seeing what he’s seeing. “Uh… what happened here?”

“He won’t let me up,” you grumble, face on fire. This is humiliating. The wolf huffs, like he’s talking back to you, and both Taehyung and Jimin’s eyebrows shoot up. “He’s sneaky. I just tried to take his temperature and….”

“Oh, right,” Jimin says, blinking rapidly. “How is it?”

“A little cold, but each time I check he gets warmer,” you inform him, the distant hilarity of the situation not lost on you as you calmly discuss the health and wellbeing of the wolf that currently has you pinned to his bed as a makeshift teddy bear. Jimin goes to take a step forward and a soft growl halts him mid-movement, the sound something you can feel rumbling from deep within the wolf’s chest.

“Jungkookie,” he scolds, gasping in affront. “Don’t be nasty.”

“Oh my god,” Taehyung mumbles to himself, something cheeky and mischievous that spells absolute trouble glimmering in his eyes. “This is fantastic—just wait until you’re human again, Koo. You’re not gonna live this down.”

Unimpressed, you send them a glare—some of your limbs are starting to fall asleep, maybe they could try and help you get out? Catching the look you send them, the two men share their own, and you can safely say you don’t quite like the tone of it.

They better not leave you here.

x – x – x

The next day finds you sprawled on your bed, feeling dead to the world.

True to their historically goblin nature, your two best friends had indeed left you there.

You’d found out later that it was because they knew they’d only be able to slip you out from under the wolf when he fell asleep (because apparently once he’s out, he sleeps like the dead, no matter the form). But until such a time as they actually came and retrieved you from beneath their sick, clingy packmate, you were incredibly annoyed with them. It had taken about an hour or so for the wolf, Jungkook, to fall asleep—about halfway through that you’d subconsciously keyed into the same plan as them and had begun carding your hands through his fur in an attempt to lull him to sleep faster. It had worked, and you don’t want to think about how dead your limbs would be if the wolf had taken any longer to fall asleep.

In all, the ordeal was incredibly embarrassing and your only saving grace is that Taehyung and Jimin were too busy planning how to tease their youngest packmate to tease you. Which is lucky because, wolf or not, if they’d teased you then you might have killed them.

You didn’t get back until around midnight, since you’d stayed a bit longer to help Taehyung and Jimin cook and prepare some stuff in case the two wolves woke up worse. As soon as your head hat hit the pillow, you’d knocked right out. Shamefully, you slept so deep and long that you missed your alarm for your morning class and woke up closer to lunch, which is where you are now.

Laying in bed with aching eyes and wishing that you didn’t have another class in another two hours.

Jihyo hadn’t even questioned where you went for so long last night, but also hadn’t made a joke about you finally getting some so you figure she’s waiting to pounce on you later. You find she’s already left for the day, when you finally wrangle yourself from bed and attempt to resume life as a functioning human being. So you’re safe until at least this afternoon, when she finishes her shift at the university second-hand bookstore. You can probably remain safe for longer if you study at the library and come home when she goes to her pilates class.

You’re shamefully good at evading her, at this point. You’d feel bad if it wasn’t a skill you’d learnt for survival.

You took your time a little too much while getting ready for your class, and it made you run so late that for the time being even you completely forgot about the events of last night. Well, you did until you enter your classroom and are greeted by two loud hollers of your name. Honestly, do they have no shame? Do attractive people even feel shame?

“Shut up,” you grumble half-heartedly as you take your seat between them, resisting the urge to rub your eyes since you’d put on mascara earlier. One of many things that had almost made you late. “You’re so loud.”

You complain, but secretly you’re glad for the noise—it means they’re feeling better, and things must also be improving at the pack dorm. When you finally raise your eyes to survey their faces, you find them displaying an odd mix of emotions. Like they’re glad, relieved, but at the same time still concerned about something.

“So… how are things at the dorm?” you inquire tentatively, making the most of the time you have before your tutor arrives and begins the class; it seems you aren’t the only one running behind today.

Taehyung lets out a huff, resting his cheek in his hand with a wry smile. “Well, Jungkookie is much better. You must have a magic touch because he was up and back into his human form this morning. He wanted to go to his classes but Namjoon made him stay back because he’s still not completely better.”

“On the other hand,” Jimin continues, without the need of prompting. “Seokjin… well, it’s almost like he’s the same as before, slowly getting worse. We can’t figure out what is wrong with him and why his condition isn’t turning around like Jungkook’s is.”

Ah, now you understand their expressions. They look about as confused as you feel, too. It doesn’t leave you with a very good feeling, if they’re the experts in this area and even they’re stumped for an explanation.

“We got Yoongi to call his dad, though. I heard them on the phone before we left so I suppose we’ll hear what he recommends when we get back.”

You hum to acknowledge what he said, opening your mouth to respond but deciding against it when you see the tutor hurtle into the room, out of breath and frantic.

“Sorry I’m late, everyone! If you could please all open your books to this week’s chapter, I will begin with the slides in just a moment!”

x – x – x

Considering that what you’d heard from your two wolf friends was that one of their packmates was on the mend and the other less so, you hadn’t really expected to hear anything else from them. That proves to be the exact opposite of what happens, though.

At quarter to three in the morning, you’re woken to sharp, persistent banging on your front door—the kind that makes you scared that the door is actually going to break beneath the force of the blows raining down on it. You tear out of your bed and stumble down the hall to answer it, knowing that if Jihyo has to get up to do it she’s going to tear you a new asshole.

“WHAT?!” You snap, not even seeing properly through the bleariness in your eyes but knowing in your heart there’s only two people ballsy enough to come bust your door down at this hour in the morning. “Are you trying to get me killed?! Jihyo still hasn’t forgotten about the last time you came over and ruined her sleep!”

Jimin has the decency to look somewhat sheepish, but Taehyung simply looks distressed. “Look, I’m not gonna say I’m sorry because I’m not, but we really need you to come with us right now.”

You blink, reaching to rub your eyes and feeling a strand of your hair flop into your face in response. You just know it looks like something made at the hands of Jackson Pollock right now. “What? The hell? Do you mean?”

It’s Jimin’s airy tone that reaches you this time, lowering your hackles ever so slightly. “No, he’s lying, we are sorry, it’s just—it’s an emergency. Something happened and we need your help to test a… a theory, if you will.”

You stare at him, willing his words to make sense in your sleepy brain. “I don’t understand.”

“That’s fine,” Taehyung says; and then in the next second he reaches and grabs you around the waist, slinging you over his shoulder. “We just need you to come. Can you lock up so she doesn’t kill us, Jiminie?”

You’re too stunned to even say anything as you hear Jimin lock your front door behind you, Taehyung already beginning to move post-haste down the apartment building hallway with you over his shoulder. When you finally catch-up to the events of the current moment, you instantly curse the blonde man out. “Hey, what the fuck—I can walk! Put me down! Put me down or I’ll go straight back home!”

“No way,” Taehyung argues, already exiting the building with you in tow. “You’re just gonna go back no matter what, if I put you down. I saw that look in your eyes, the one you get when you’re about to slam the door in our faces. We really need you to come, y/n.”

You blink, trying to remember if you planned on closing the door in their faces. It was only a few moments ago, but you’re still half-asleep and can’t remember for the life of you. A part of you wishes to speak up and deny his words, but for however outraged you are right now you’re still attuned to the words he’s saying and the vocal cues that accompany his speech. It gives you pause, because he seems really, genuinely distressed right now.

“What happened? What’s going on?”

Jimin has since caught up to the two of you and is opening the car door, preparing the back seat for your entry—you haven’t seen this one before, so you presume it must belong to one of the older pack members. “It’s Jin-hyung and Kookie.”

“What?” Confusion combines with sleepiness to make you sound like the stupidest person on earth. “I thought they were getting better? Or at least Jungkook was—”

“We thought so too,” Taehyung says, finally putting you down and patting your head in a makeshift apology. You decide that killing him can wait for later.

“And then… tonight happened.”

As the two of them climb hurriedly into the car and buckle up to send you all on your way to the pack dorm, they fill you in on the events of the evening. While Jungkook had shown a marked improvement over the day, it was like a switch had flipped as soon as night fell and the moon emerged from below the horizon. He relapsed to a worse state than he was in last night, and Seokjin’s condition apparently worsened as well. Alarmed and not having a single idea what to do, they’d called in Yoongi’s father who had spent a large majority of the night attempting to diagnose them and prevent their condition from worsening. Only around half an hour ago had he put together a theory as to what was wrong with them, after all the pack members filled him in on everything they could.

“Wait so—Yoongi’s dad? The healer…?” you wait for their nods of confirmation before continuing. “He thinks it has something to do with me? Wait, if that’s the case should you even be bringing me back?! What if I make them worse again! God, I knew I shouldn’t have rocked up to the party last week…”

“No, well—I mean—” Jimin flounders for what to say, cutting himself off when he comes close to saying something and giving you the sense that there is another element to this that they’re not telling you. You have half a mind to demand to know, but you also recognise it could also be a wolf thing that you have no business knowing. “Don’t worry, if the head healer of our pack is calling you back, it’s not because he thinks you’re the thing making them sick.”

That does ease you, admittedly. Just a bit. You yawn, catching movement outside your window and realising with a startle that you’re already at the pack dorm. Instantly, for reasons barely known to you, your stomach erupts into a live bundle of nerves. You’re so baffled by it that you don’t even notice as the car pulls to a stop and your door is being opened in the next second by a perplexed Jimin.

“Are you alright?”

You give him a stinky look to save face as you climb out of the car, pretending your legs aren’t wobbly. “You’re asking that now?”

At the attitude in your voice the expression of concern slips right off his face and he snorts, looping his arm through yours and dragging you up the path to the pack dorm for the third time in a week. “Oh good, you’re alright. Hurry up now, I can hear them howling like pups from here.”

You go to bite back with a response but pause, because the second you tune into your ears you can hear it too. It’s mournful, the way the howls pierce the air. Baleful, especially when paired with the scenery of the almost-full moon hanging above the trees. Again, you’re not scared, just oddly… nervous. As in, full of nerves. It’s as though there are a thousand bees buzzing in your abdomen, and the network of nerves and synapses in your body have turned to live wires beneath your skin, thrumming and prickling with energy.

What does your subconscious seem to know that you don’t?

The howls are amplified the second you enter the house and there is no longer several inches of thick wall muffling their piercing resonance. They seem to be upstairs once more, on the side of the house that you didn’t venture into last time. Now that you’re close enough, you can distinguish that it’s not only pitiful howls breaking the air, but soft whimpers and whines, as well. Something about it, the quality of the sounds brushing your ears, makes your eyes prick with tears. It’s almost like…. Grieving. Like they’re calling out for something or someone that isn’t coming.

“Wow, they’re somehow even louder than when we left,” Jimin remarks, already dragging you towards the stairs and beginning on the climb up. “For wolves that are so sick they sure do still have a pair of lungs on them.”

You’re too busy remembering the fact that you’re currently dressed in the same shorts and singlet combo you’ve been in all week, and that you’re in a house full of men (and wolves, but you digress) to offer a response. Your arrival at the top of the stairs brings you to the sight of a number of men at the end of the hall, gathered together and muttering amongst themselves. You recognise all but one, and figure that the unfamiliar older gentleman must be Yoongi’s father as you’d heard of him.

“We brought her,” Jimin announces, though you doubt it was very necessary since they could probably smell you coming from the driveway. “Are they doing any better?”

Yoongi leans around Namjoon to deliver the younger with a deadpan look. “Listen for yourself.”

Right on cue, there is another round of pitiful howling, the noise tugging at something deep inside you. Why did it make you want to go to them? Are your instincts broken? That seems like a crazy reaction to have. Perhaps you should go get yourself checked out after this ordeal, though you’re unsure which professional you should be seeking out.

Jimin winces. “Alright. So they’re not doing much better at all.”

The new character, Yoongi’s dad, steps forward and reaches out to shake your hand. “Hello, you must be y/n. I’m Yunho, the Head Healer of this pack. I’m so sorry to have brought you out here at such a late hour.”

Now that everyone’s attention is on you, and Yunho looks so genuinely apologetic (you see the relation to Yoongi in the kind set of his features) you find your earlier anger at being awoken and dragged here fizzling out for good. Somewhat meekly, you manage to respond, “It’s fine. If I can help then I don’t mind at all.”

The older man smiles at your words, appreciation in his tone as he thanks you. “We’re really grateful, for that. Now, if you don’t mind, all I want you to do is just… go into the room with them.”

You blink, Taehyung and Jimin already having begun guiding (read: dragging) you to the room in question. “Pardon?”

Yunho seems slightly amused and sheepish. “I… have a theory, as to what is wrong with these two. I will inform you of everything after we test it out, but would you be able to go in, for now? Please?”

You’re not exactly in a position to refuse, not that you really want to anyway. As silly as it is, if going into the room where the wolves are is something that will somehow actually help them, then you’ll do it. Especially because you don’t think you can handle much more of their baleful howling—they seem miserable.

“Yeah, okay. Of course.” You shake your limbs out, shrugging your arms out of your friends’ grips and shooting them a glare for manhandling your again. They have the decency to appear slighty apologetic.

The entire pack in the hallway parts to let you through, like a sea of wolves. The room they direct you to is the one opposite of the one you went into last night, the one where the rowdy wolf that Jimin and Taehyung took care of had been. Taking a deep breath, you push the slightly ajar door open, biting your lip in anticipation of what you will see on the other side.

It’s a room similar in shape to Jungkook’s, but with blues and yellows mixed into the scheme of whites and greys. It is, put simply and as objectively as possible, a mess. You can see where things have been knocked off of shelves and desks, and some items (namely one of the bed posts) have been chewed up and left disfigured. It looks like a house with remnants of a temper tantrum from a puppy left alone too soon. They aren’t on the bed, which is oddly bare, and you see why a moment later when you catch sight of them huddled together on the floor, the size of small bears but shaking and whimpering so pathetically that you don’t feel even a shred of fear as you gaze upon them. A rumpled mixture of fluffy blankets and duvets are beneath them in a makeshift nest, some of them still attached to the bed and tucked underneath the end of the mattress.

You’re not sure what you expected when you stepped into the room, but it wasn’t for the two wolves to fall dead silent upon your arrival. You freeze, unsure how to proceed until there is a nudge at your back, and you turn over your shoulder to see Yunho giving you an encouraging look.

“Just go over to them, it will be okay. They won’t hurt you.”

You didn’t realise that was a fear you had until his words soothed it, and you take another deep breath to steel yourself before following his directions. You can’t tell whether the wolves are awake, or in that feverish place between sleep and waking, but the closer you get the less restless they seem and the less noises tumble from their jaws. Unsure what they want you to do when you reach the wolves, you turn back with a questioning look. Already, at the silence in the room, Yunho has a relieved look on his face. He makes a hand movement, gesturing for you to take a seat, and you see several heads pop around the doorframe to watch as you do so.

Blushing madly and pretending that you’re not as embarrassed as you are, you sink to your knees in front of the two wolves, eyes scanning over the one you hadn’t seen before today.

Seokjin, if you recall correctly; the eldest in the pack (well… this little subgroup of the larger pack, anyway), and the other wolf that bowled you over that day. A sense of familiarity washes over you as you view him, too, despite the fact you don’t think you’ve ever seen him in his wolf form before. His coat is sandy and light, caramel-hued in some places with accents of white around his eyes and front paws. Again, you can’t quite place where you’ve seen him before, but you know deep down that you have. The same goes for Jungkook, who appears extra dark next to his lighter packmate. Each of their heads is larger, broader than one of your thighs, something you become acutely aware of as you shuffle closer on your knees. Two barely-seeing sets of amber eyes watch your every movement.

Just when you go to look back and see what they want you to do next, there is shuffling from in front of you that captures your attention instead; a whimper escapes Jungkook, but Seokjin is the one that is moving, lifting his head and craning it forward until his moist nose skims your knee, sniffing tentatively. Whatever you smell like must confirm something for him, because in the next moment he’s letting out a low whine from the back of his throat and struggling forward, butting his head against you before rubbing the side of it along your thigh. You don’t have words to describe how hot your face is right now. Just when you think it can’t get any more embarrassing, the darker wolf gains a sudden burst of energy and lurches forward, snapping his teeth around the edge of your shorts leg and tugging lightly.

“Wh—” you don’t even have the brain space to finish whatever you were going to say, too busy shuffling forward and trying to make sure this wolf doesn’t pants you in front of the rest of the pack who are—as you confirm with an alarmed look over your shoulder—still watching everything unfold. The wolf, Jungkook, doesn’t stop tugging until you’re nestled deep between their two bodies, their temperatures rising each second you spend there, and as soon as he releases his teeth from the material of your shorts, Seokjin’s body is tilting and his head is coming to press against you and trap you in.

This is ridiculous. Is this actually happening? Are you not still at home, dreaming?

Your alarmed look is directed at the rest of the pack mates and Yunho once more, the older man letting out a sigh and wincing lightly. The rest of the members seem an odd mix of relieved and baffled. It does not soothe you one bit.

“Okay… y/n, there’s something we need to talk to you about.”

a/n: here it is! pls let me know what u think, feel free to come scream in my inbox and leave a like & reblog!! it means the world to me!! i might not always get to respond to all of them, but i do read every single one-- reread, even. thank u for reading this and for always supporting me! love u!! <3

[martinfzimmerman]

David Morgan Exclusive: Gold and Silver at Breakout Point from 6-Year Downtrend

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Mike Gleason: It is my privilege now to welcome in our good friend David Morgan of The Morgan Report. David, it’s always a real pleasure to have you on with us and I’m especially excited to talk with you about some of the topics we’ve got on tap today. How are you?

David Morgan: I’m doing well Mike, thank you very much.

Mike Gleason: Well, as we begin here David, I want to talk to you about the danger of complacency because I think it’s a very appropriate topic for the times we’re in right now. To you and me and to many others in our space with a similar world view, we see a whole slew of reasons to own precious metals. We have threats of war in many places throughout the globe. We have a president here in the U.S. who the establishment hates and is hoping to oust if they get the chance. We have nation central banks printing new fiat currency at unprecedented levels all throughout the world.

An entire continent over there in Europe that appears to be potentially at risk of seeing their political and currency union falling apart, terror threats all over the place, the refugee crisis, the list goes on and on. But all the while we have this stock market continuing to make all-time highs with most people seeming to believe that everything is hunky dory while completely ignoring all of those geopolitical and monetary headwinds, or for those who seem to grasp all of that, all that’s going on, maybe starting to believe that it doesn’t matter. Because, after all, the feds and the central planners are going to be able to manage this thing forever.

So, talk about complacency here David, why aren’t we seeing more flock to safe havens, at least not here in the Western world, and discuss the dangers that exist if we let ourselves fall into the complacency or the “nothing is ever going to change” type of mindset.

David Morgan: Well, that’s a tough one. I would say first is eternal vigilance, I mean freedom depends on it, so my idea or ideal from the beginning has been that all fiat currency will eventually fail. And I also believe that it would happen within my lifetime and I’m certainly older than I was when I held that belief, yet I still hold it. So, really there’s a mandate to hold some portion of your wealth in a savings, in other words, the way capitalism is supposed to work you build from a savings base and that savings is put into a capital formation, which means you construct something be it software, hardware, a building, automobile, whatever, and that becomes a benefit to society at large and they vote in the marketplace with their dollars to further the projects so to speak. Make a profit, which returns to the initial investors and on it goes. So that’s the ideal.

My statement was that in times like these rather than be a true capitalist – which is what I just outlined – it requires further savings because there’s too many uncertainties out there with one certainty: every fiat currency on planet Earth in all of recorded history has always failed. So, to say that the dollar won’t is a misstatement, at least based on past history. Is it going to, for this time, be different? Eh, I guess it’s possible. But if we look at it objectively and we state, well, let’s really see what’s gone on with the U.S. dollar, if you look at the Federal Reserve Board’s own website, they will freely admit that the 1913 dollar is worth about three cents today. So, you have a 97% loss when their mandate was to basically keep the currency stable. They have failed miserably.

Most people that follow what you do, what I do, what the hard money camp, the gold/silver guys talk about, they understand this, but they are very tired out, worn out. I mean I coined the phrase a long time ago that “the silver market would either scare you out or wear you out.” We are definitely at the wear you out phase. And this is where complacency sits, in where they’ve manipulated the market, we even have proof Deutsche Bank admits it, there is a new CFTC ruling that’s gone on, that they’ve singled out an individual that’s going to turn over evidence and probably bring others into the mix on spoofing the market in the silver market, and yet we don’t really see any real significant price change.

So, the complacency (mindset) is, look, I know what’s going on but it doesn’t matter because these guys have got control and they are always going to have control. You know, it brings to mind, the adage, the dark comes before the dawn, the big struggle for seed to germinate, that last little oomph that is required and I think we are very close to the tipping point and I’ll add onto that.

First of all, I want to back up a second Mike. As you know, and you’re on my service, I put an alert early in the morning about the second week of May and I said I think this is it. Meaning, the fundamental significant shift between paper assets and hard assets, I think, we don’t know yet, that gold and silver had turned to the up-side and stocks to the down-side. Now, since I made that statement, stocks have made a new high, so let me get that on the record. However, it looks to me as if we are getting a confirmation on that with gold right now. Because gold is right at the breakout point from a six year down trend and it’s mostly safe haven buying, but it’s not the people that I just referred to, it’s basically the smart money, which means big investors, large hedge funds, and China primarily.

China’s gold demand is set to surge about 50% to about 1,000 metric tons this year. Their demand for gold bars are on track to make a 50% move in 2017. The geopolitical risk internationally is probably at an all-time high and this is leading to safe haven demand again, for smart money, nation states, people in the know, people that have basically sold off their stocks quite some time ago near the highs, that have capital sitting on the side lines and that is starting to filter into the gold market. And then you’ve got of course, a lot to do with the U.K. election, terrorism, the risking tensions in the middle east, and all of this is supportive of the gold, especially after the attacks in London that took place recently.

And the other fact, is that gold is 12% higher for the year and it’s actually out performing stocks. Yet, if you stopped the average investor on the street and asked them what’s doing better this year, I’d say about 90%, probably higher than that, probably 98% would say, well stocks are doing better than gold.

Mike Gleason: Yeah, it’s a very valid point. As a follow up here, and this is kind of an open ended and very broad topic, but comment on counterparty risk, because I know that is something that you’ve been covering in The Morgan Report recently. Take it wherever you want, but share your thoughts there, because part of this complacency is failing to recognize the tremendous amount of counterparty risks that exist in the world today, give us your thoughts there David.

David Morgan: Yeah, I could go on, I’ll try to be succinct. First of all, the belief system is so strong, and yet the truth is sometimes actually opposite of a very, very strongly held belief. The belief globally for all of the establishment economic system, which means all nation states, big hedge funds, all banks, etcetera, believe that the safest place that you can be in is the United States bond market, be it a treasury bill, a T-note, a long bond, anything in between. If you own the full faith and credit of the United States debt, you are buying something extremely safe. And the truth is, it’s the exact opposite. It is probably the once place that at some point in time, everybody is going to want to get out of it, perhaps at the same time or close to it.

How can I say that? Well, going back to what I stated, all fiat currencies eventually fail, so this is proven time and time again, yet the belief system has yet to shift in a dramatic way. However, the cryptocurrencies are a bit of a tip off that somebody understands what is going on, and I admit, the best place that you could have possibly been over the last 30 years, for a long term buy, hold and forget it trade, would have been the U.S. bond market, this is true. But nothing grows to the moon. I mean, all trees grow as high as they grow and then they stop. It’s the same thing with the bond market.

So, there is a huge debt bomb that we talked about in The Silver Manifesto, that’s waiting to go off and when that happens, and it doesn’t necessarily mean one day, boom it goes, and everybody understands it. It’s more likely to take place slowly, slowly, slowly and then all of a sudden. Which means that a lot of savvy people will be exiting the dollar, which we have seen for years now. We’ve seen a lot of nation states that have basically abandoned the dollar slowly, sometimes fairly quickly: China, Russia settling their payments between each other in their own currencies. A lot to move from the AIIB (Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank). I mean there is a lot of periphery situations that savvy people are aware of that have been a way for, not only individuals through the cryptocurrency situation, but nation states to exit exposure or much exposure, or to mitigate their exposure to the U.S. dollar. And this is a harbinger for what will take place at some time in the future. So, these things always end, the longer you add, to coin (a phrase) and give credit to Jim Sinclair, “pretend and extend,” you pretend that everything is okay and these guys pretend they can manipulate it forever and extend the problem, the worse it becomes, and this is the state that we’re in right now.

Mike Gleason: A follow up there on cryptocurrencies, David we’ve seen a real boom in those lately. Now, I think we would probably both see value in owning some Bitcoin or one of the alternatives, but one thing that we should say is that digital currencies are not and should not be viewed as a substitute for owning gold and silver, which have stood the test of time as money and have been money all throughout history, comment on that if you would.

David Morgan: Well, there’s two theories on money. One is that money is whatever the government says it is, which is a legal fiction, and of course you could be the argument that it’s salt, or it’s cow hides or it’s sheep or it’s whatever. Well, certainly that’s been tried throughout history, but the argument is either it is a legal fiction or it’s specie: it’s something of value that has value in and of itself and I would argue silver actually has more value than gold, because you can use silver for medicinal purposes, you can use it for electronics, you can use it as money or barter, and it fulfills actually more services to whoever owns it than gold does. But regardless of my thoughts on the two metals, gold and silver from time in memorial all of recorded history have been chosen by the free market as money of substance. And this is where you can’t get around the argument, I mean, a lot of people have been brainwashed into believing that gold and silver have no purpose today, they really aren’t money, and on and on it goes. So, the idea that you can create something out of nothing and it has value has been tested time and time again, and again they always fail.

On the cryptocurrencies, I’m not against them first of all, in fact I just gave a lecture about them. I talked about gold, silver and the blockchain, of course I mentioned Bitcoin primarily because it’s the leader, bitcoin is unusual, I mean let me again back up slightly Mike.

First of all, to be intellectually honest, would a cured fiat system work in theory, and the answer is probably yes, to be intellectually honest. If and only if you had a limited supply of dollars and they only grew as the economy grew, you would have in theory, a pretty good paper system.

However, that has never been the case, even when the gold-standard-basher’s bash gold, they’ve said well, the gold standard has never worked. Well, yes and no. The gold standard would work because what gold’s purpose is, is to keep that money supply growing basically at 2% a year, which is probably what a lot of the people on the left side would like, which is sustainable growth. And in a real, true economic system that is backed by physical reality rather than a make-believe set of derivatives that is unimaginable at this time, you have an economic system where each dollar over time becomes more and more valuable. But that is not where we’re at. So, we’re in a situation where there is a challenge to the system, and the main challenge really isn’t coming from the precious metals, the main challenge is coming from the cryptocurrencies.

Bitcoin is obviously the leader, I look at it Mike, right now with 750 different cryptocurrencies out there, being similar to what happened in the tech wreck, where a lot of these domain names were getting huge valuations for a very short time and a lot of people were piling in. And yet today we still have Yahoo.com, Amazon is a big leader, there are certainly companies out there that were the real deal, stood the test of time, and a lot of these dogs and cats went away very rapidly. I think the same thing will take place in the cryptocurrencies. I do think that some of them are here to stay, I think Ethereum is really not a coin, I think it’s a platform. I think few people really understand it’s potential. I think it’s one I’m favorable to. Bitcoin, it’s hard to argue against, I mean, the markets certainly voting very strong for that one. Dash is an interesting one, I certainly don’t know them all, I don’t claim to be an expert.

But one place I really do have some concerns is security. And I gave that main concern at this lecture I did in Vancouver recently, and of course I got some blow back on it and people were telling me, you can take your account and write it down on a piece of paper and hide it under your desk and that type of thing, I get that, I understand that. But there’s already been security issues with Bitcoin and a lot of people won’t do that. I mean, just because you have the potential to make it more secure doesn’t necessarily mean that most people will. So, there is some vulnerabilities out there and this is not me speaking, these are someone’s at a recent tech conference, and these were high level people that were talking about the internet of things and how vulnerable all this internet of things model is with this, what’s called big data, that is taking place before us right now, has security issues. And they do, so that’s something to bear in mind.

Now, as far as, how much to put into Bitcoin or whatever, certainly I’m free market, you decide for yourself, but I think Bitcoin’s got a long ways to go and I say that based on technical work. I mean, I looked at the chart before I did my presentation because I work pretty hard on these presentations as you know, and the volume was tremendously large in Bitcoin over the last couple months, which means it’s got a lot higher to go, there’s no question about it. And momentum feeds on momentum, especially when you’re making new highs, there is nothing more bullish to the market than a new high because everyone that owns it wants to hold it, because they don’t know how high is high, so there is very little that sells back. There will be some profit taking, but not much, because everyone is concerned with, “wow, I made this much percentage today, I wonder how much I’ll make tomorrow.” So, there’s not much selling pressure. And it will continue to go up. Very interesting market, from a couple places, the main one I would emphasize, which is a probably a different view point from many, is it is a competing currency to the present system and obviously it’s taking off rapidly.

Mike Gleason: You’ve always focused primarily on the silver market throughout your career and I know part of why you’re such a big believer in the white metal over the long run – and feel that it could really outperform gold and all other hard assets for that matter – is that fact that the moves can be so explosive because it’s such a small market, something like 1/10th the size of the gold market I believe. So, talk about that dynamic and then remind folks about the need to recognize that the moves can be pretty substantial in the silver market and not just to the down side but also to the up side.

David Morgan: Well, exactly. What I just outlined earlier was China’s buying more gold this year, and the last, and the smart money can move into gold, I mean, gold is a small market relative to the total financial markets. But they can protect themselves with gold. It’s impossible for really big money to move into the silver market, it’s just too small a market. And what will happen, is once gold breaks free, whatever that means, actually we’re at the cusp of breaking through a 6-year down trend, and it’s not going to be the next day, David. It’s going to be in a time frame, probably 2018 when we’re going to really see some momentum in both of these markets.

But if you look at the total asset base of the world, physical gold makes up about 1%, but silver makes up .02%, and there is a lot of people that at some point will want to turn some of their Bitcoin profits into hard metal. I’m not saying everyone, I’m saying some percentage, but there will be a move into the metals, and once the move into the metals starts in earnest, like we saw in 2011, you will see a lot of money, “money”, moving into the precious metals because it will be apparent at some point in time, that what I started this interview with, that the dollars demise is upon us and no one is going to trust it. It’s a confidence issue, it’s a trust issue. And what’s trusted more than anything else, even more than Bitcoin, at least history shows, is the precious metals.

So, there will be people that will be exchanging some of their Bitcoin profits for metal, there will be people on other currencies doing the same, there will be people that have huge bond holdings that will want to get out and move into the metal. And once gold starts moving to a level that a lot of people question if they can afford it or not, that will spill over into the silver market. But the silver market is so tiny, that it will take it much higher, because people really won’t care too much about the price, they’ll care about protection at that point. And that means, that “while I can afford silver it’s only, we’ll think of a number, $50, and gold is at $5000, its a 100 to 1 ratio, I can buy silver, I can afford it so I’m going to buy it.”

We will see, this is what happened in the 1980’s model, and this is what basically some Arabs and the Hunts taking a large position in silver early, before it made its big move. It was actually retail buying that took it to the height, it wasn’t Hunt, he was already positioned. It will be similar, I think, this time, except it’s a global based market, and we have the internet. Which means, that people that have never bought a silver or gold coin in their lives can almost instantly google how to buy silver, look it up and see how to do it and do it within a matter of a few minutes on the internet, so this is going to put huge pressure on the markets that they’ve never experienced in the past.

Mike Gleason: As an aside, we have been seeing a big uptake in the Bitcoin orders that we have been taking on our website MoneyMetals.com, we have accepted bitcoin for a good two years now and it’s really starting to actually move the needle, believe it or not.

Well, David as we begin to close here, the metals markets of course are a major focus for you, but we’ve also come to value your insights when it comes to broader issues such as, honest money and personal freedom.

Now, the Liberty Movement got an enormous boost in 2008, the financial crisis and Ron Paul’s rise to prominence were among the major catalysts. A whole lot of people were confronted with the problems in our governments and our monetary system. However, nearly 10 years have gone by since the financial crisis and precious little has been fixed, but people have gotten tired or complacent like we talked about at the top of the interview. Take an issue like Audit the Fed for instance, college kids chanted that slogan at rallies a few years back, but the establishment fended off the effort and the momentum appears to have faded there. Now, a good argument can be made about that effort being a waste of energy because beating Congress and Wall Street in their own rigged game is never going to happen, but what are your thoughts on the state of the Liberty Movement today. What efforts do you see working and where are the challenges?

David Morgan: Oh, well that’s a real tough one. First off, I’ll start from the bottom up. Number one is take care of your personal self and your family, I mean, you want to be healthy, wealthy, and wise to coin Ben Franklin. So, really change what you can, make sure that you’re eating right, make sure that you’re exercising, make sure that your health is number one. When I sign off The Morgan Report, from day one, I always sign it off “wishing you health above wealth.” There is a reason for that. Wisdom beyond knowledge. Having the knowledge of something doesn’t mean much unless you implement it. Being wise is meaning you know how the world works and working with it and that’s working with the truth. So that’s the bottom line, I think control what you can.

Moving up from there, what can you do. Well I’m more or less a pacifist, so I think for example, what Ted Butler did over all these years, to give a shout out to Ted, I mean he was instrumental and spearheaded this whole idea of what was going on in the CFTC and it’s been pretty thankless for him for a long time, yet he has maintained his position and asked people to help him write to the CFTC and investigate the manipulation of the silver market, and for years nothing really happened. But this little guy that is being held up as someone spoofing the market and then building a case against him, is probably due to some of the efforts that Ted did, in fact most recently.

So, you can make your voice heard, you certainly don’t want to give up. Congress does respond to the populous, it really, really does. So a phone call is much better than an email, and a written correspondence carries a lot more weight than an email and it doesn’t have to be a lengthy manifesto, it can just be simply, “I support freedom and you aren’t,” or something even better from my politically, perhaps questionable point of view, but it’s spot-on legally, is “you took an oath to defend the constitution from all enemies, foreign and domestic and I’m starting to question whether or not you are upholding that oath, write me back.” Something along those lines will wake them up, whether or not you’ll get a response I doubt it, there’s probably a computer form letter that has anything with the word Constitution in it that will probably pop out a form letter and send it back to you.

But regardless of that, you certainly can make it. And I’m for peaceful protest, the problem we have now is this “anarchy” with what’s going on from a certain political belief system, where burning things up and bashing windows, that doesn’t solve anything and it’s deconstructive, not constructive. Yet, there seems to be an element that actually relishes making that kind of a statement, which is very sad indeed, and it falls back on us as a society on what’s really being taught to the population at large and what are the moral values and what does make us great. What makes us great is we have high integrity, we were telling the truth. That’s what made America great, it wasn’t the financial system. If the financial system was honest, that helps a great deal. But as I’ve said many times, but probably bear repeating one more time Mike, as I close out, is there is a direct correlation between the integrity of the money system and the moral integrity of the population at large. The more the monetary system deteriorates, the more the moral society deteriorates with the population. They go hand in hand and we are witnessing that as we speak.

Mike Gleason: Very well put, we’ll leave it there. Well, as we wrap up here David, talk about some of the things you’re working on there at The Morgan Report, maybe mention the recent book and let people know how they can get their hands on that if they haven’t already, and anything else you want to leave our listeners with today.

David Morgan: Yeah, just go to the main website, TheMorganReport.com. I just wrote weeks ago, the silver forecast for 2017. If you’re already on the email list, you can go ahead and download that for free. The system is smart enough to know if we already have your email. And then if you’re interested in the book, just pull down the books tab on the website, you can order either book, The Silver Manifesto or Second Chance. And Mike I appreciate you mentioning that for me.

Mike Gleason: Well, outstanding insights as usual David, it’s wonderful stuff to hear and we’re very grateful for your time and for giving us your thoughts on these important matters. We appreciate talking to you today and we wish you an enjoyable summer and look forward to catching up with you before long. Take care my friend.

David Morgan: Thank you very much.

Mike Gleason: Well, that will do it for this week. Thanks again to David Morgan, publisher of The Morgan Report. To follow David just visit TheMorganReport.com. We urge everyone at the very least to go ahead and sign up for the free e-mail list and start getting some of his commentary on a regular basis. And if you haven’t already, check out The Silver Manifesto and/or his new book, co-written with our mutual friend David Smith, titled Second Chance: How to Make and Keep Big Money During the Coming Gold and Silver Shock Wave. Both of which are available on the MoneyMetals.com and other places where books are sold. Be sure to check those out.

Mike Gleason is a Director with Money Metals Exchange, a national precious metals dealer with over 50,000 customers. Gleason is a hard money advocate and a strong proponent of personal liberty, limited government and the Austrian School of Economics. A graduate of the University of Florida, Gleason has extensive experience in management, sales and logistics as well as precious metals investing. He also puts his longtime broadcasting background to good use, hosting a weekly precious metals podcast since 2011, a program listened to by tens of thousands each week.

  The post David Morgan Exclusive: Gold and Silver at Breakout Point from 6-Year Downtrend appeared first on Gold Silver Worlds.

from Gold Silver Worlds http://goldsilverworlds.com/gold-silver-price-news/david-morgan-exclusive-gold-silver-breakout-point-6-year-downtrend/

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BLACK HISTORY MONTH: "Through Woke Eyes From Different Sides" Pt. 1

February 1st, 2017

Written By: Desiree Dossen

Greetings and warm salutations to all of my fellow readers. Welcome to those if it is your first time joining us here at StylistaInMind.com. Here we style everything from sole to crown and discuss culture InConversation. On today's agenda have a special for those of you who have been waiting for some new content. My great friend and I are introducing a month long discussion, throughout the month of February. We will be discussing Culture, Identity, and Awareness. These are topics that are dear to me and I am excited to share with you somehtings that were once sensitive but have matured since then. We will discuss childhood stories of colorism from different perspectives. Check Out Chelsea Krieger's take on being a mixed race child in this American Society in which we live. Visit LifesSentence.com

Each week we will deliver a new topic and a new discussion, feel free to comment and share your own experiences below to keep the dialogue afloat. Enjoy Pt. 1 below. 

Black History month is about representation and highlighting history that was made yet also acknowledging the change that is created daily within our community. Often times we go through life harboring various experiences without expressing them in order to find peace or to heal properly. One thing I believe in is instilling wisdom and positive affirmations into a child from a tender age. So that when they grow up they can have respect for themselves and others they interact with. Let's get into it....

To begin, I hope I can add some taste to this topic as my story may not be as profound as Chelsea's. However I find beauty in being brown and chocolate in which oftentimes is super sweet. Yet society has deemed this earth skin tone color of mine something I should not embrace. In subliminal regard, Well too late, I love me and all parts of me even if the "beauty standard" is of a "European" look. Firstly, My perspective comes from a cultural standpoint rather than just black and white. I Am of African descent, born in the states but 1st generation American child of  Liberian immigrants. I am the alternative. I embrace my uniqueness in all aspects from skin tone to style to mindset. Diversity is key in the language we speak. The mass majority may think they are the only race, superior to those they claim to be minority. In opposition the mass minority equates to the majority. Sadly, what I was surrounded by in Grade school could be far from the truth. But here's my truth. Giving insight to my childhood. I have a passion for cultures and connecting the underlying truths between each culture. The hidden facts the colonizers tried to suppress I enjoy digging up and bringing them to light. My family left the inner city of Newark, NJ to give their girls better opportunity at life. Raised in Old bridge in which some would claim is predominately white. I barely saw that. I lived in an apartment complex where my neighbors were Indian, Pakistani, Afghani, Asian, Hispanic, and African immigrants. All descendants of somewhere from somewhere other than here. Listen, I love cultures, to see the pride one carries in a traditional dress or costume is beautiful. But when I would get to elementary school no more than 20 mins away. There was a divide. I became the only black girl in my classes. I became that black girl that carried the fat asses they stereotyped. I became that black girl that would cry lonely at night because I had no friends. Til this day I believe me not being the "typical black girl" they wanted to stereotype, I became the alternative. I had one friend from kindergarten until I don't know when because she found her white friends now she could blend. That's the thing I'll always stand out. I'll always be making noise or causing a scene even if I don't utter a sound. Uncomfortable but proud. I didn't realize it then but I understand now. It all makes sense the whys turned into how's. You see I'm "A CUltural Mesh," the fusion of cultures makes me feel joyous when I know I can connect with another bredren and sistren. You are a product of your environment they say. The environment I was in allowed me to be open and welcoming to others from all walks of life. That same friend I had in grade school, was an offspring of an Italian father and Korean mother. I'm not quite sure if she knew it then but her cultures meshed so well together I would say. Somehow, she would be classified as a white girl. Caucasian she would check off, because she had the European features and silky hair. The only thing they may question was her slightly olive complexion.

Contrary to belief, it's interesting how I thought her ethnic identity was beautiful, as I would hide my African Pride. I would lie in class when they would ask me to state my middle name. I couldn't let them know what Manaweh means it's, not Ann, Sarah, Mary, or Lee. Therefore I would be a product of my own contradictions. When I was home I embraced my love for Liberia and the reading rainbow outside my home. Yet, when I entered the playground I would shy away from exposing my real heritage. As in school they didn't teach us anything good about our history or better yet the truth. My own parents turned to be Americanized leaving us blinded from both sides. We couldn't recognize our beauty because our parents spoke diffeent dialects. They didn't want friction to collide, so that's why my sisters and I would use common names like Monica and Keisha to disguise what lies between the lines.

Moreover, I stated I was lonely and that was right. I was always shy and sensitive. I thought Briana and I would be friends forever but in fifth grade her neighborhood friends would be her partners in crime. Softball and family outings I was not part of that. I was familiar with riding bikes, staying up late to the scent of cassava leaf cooking in the kitchen, and my older sisters sneaking in and out. Sleeping in a two bedroom home that my seven member family plus one outgrew. I moved to a neighboring town where diversity in cultures were no longer evident. The story of black and white arises.... You know how in school they teach the civil rights movement. You learn about the blacks living beneath the train tracks and the whites above the tracks. Well this town I moved to, Cliffwood, NJ was just like that. This is where I became aware that, "girl you are black and your Africaness does not matter here." Majority of the African Americans in one small town separated from life outside of the scene. This was my first time enduring so much brown all at once. I became even more introverted because I didn't sound or dress like them. The culture I know is different. Aside from Liberian roots they say I spoke "white." I would stay quiet but have sleepless nights. Jordan's, fanny packs, skinny jeans, north face anoraks. I didn't have that. I was wearing thrifted, Walmart, Kmart, and sometimes target goods. Did I have it good? Or have I now entered a miniature hood? No this is obviously not the hood. Everyone lives in well kept houses with two or more stories. Crime is evident but cannot be seen in plain sight. It's quiet during the day and night. Welcome to a suburban hood where everyone was cousins. Small town girl with big city dreams began during these years. My family moved around quite a lot. Yet we would always end up in a suburban location. We are not like the other black families and I was always happy to go home. The kids at school would make fun and make me feel uncomfortable. Unfamiliar settings caused pain. I don't know why I would get nervous sitting in a lunch room that had more black people than I expected. Still not enough compared to the whites. Again I would stand out. I was always too white to be black and too black to be white. In reality I was just being me and I am a Liberian-American who dislikes categories.

However in Matawan, the African American kids would stick together. It was familiar for them, they were like family. A family I wasn't apart of. I didn't want to be like them. I wanted to be me. Free in my own reality. However I wished I could feel inclusive sometimes rather than just being exclusive. In middle school we would walk in large groups. Walks from school, in the direction of Guisti park we would get light, some would even fight. Bruno's was the hotspot for us colored kids. It all felt like a scene from a movie. There would be days police cars would drive by slow. Watching us, a large group of middle school kids, all black, "What could they be up to?" By mass numbers we would walk everywhere when I got comfortable, started making "friends" and they knew who my older sister was they started to form a "trust." Annoying how everyone knew me as Sebrena's little sister but somehow I started to blend and pretend like I was like them. Still felt uncomfortable In my own skin. I started to mind my own business and just be me. Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud, I discovered during my tumblr days. Yeah the times of Mike Brown, the times when black Tumblr and twitter unified. These were my teachers, I had Know insight or knowledge of the cruelty that really occurred. The thing is that yes I was raised to love all cultures and all individuals regardless of race I would embrace. But I was blinded to the harshness blacks faced because of where I was placed. In Old Bridge, NJ the suburbs not much action would occur. Unless the events of racial profiling and cops patrolling your neighborhood would be considered a blur. I was too young to even recollect or understand a painted image of colorism. To note, Newark was where my parents settled first and that's where my current partner is from. "The hood." "Bricks City" they call it. Because the streets is rough out there and nothing can break it down. It's a strong city that sands unified regardless of what negativity is portrayed. So my love for cultures sounds pretty and nice but the strife and pain people of color faced everyday in a nearby city it was all invincible to me.

To Be Continued....

Stay Tuned For Pt. 2 Coming Soon Check Back Next Week Thanks for reading. Hope you all enjoyed and got a little insight of my life.