#just submit whenever you get the chance and ill be more than happy to write!

[spellbook-gayboy]

i know i'm late again but prompt #15? :]

15.

"Hrrn. I suppose so, when you don't know what it is" Ian grumbled at himself, stopping to take a sip from the small chipped bowl in his hand.

Ian- the younger Ian, rather- raised a brow. Oh, aye? What is it, then?" he inquired. He couldn't understand why the small landmark captivated his older self so much: it was little more than a pile of stones, with a long iron spike wedged among them at an awkward angle. "Is it a waypoint? Maybe a shrine?"

"It's a grave" the older wizard cut off, turning to look at his counterpart with a somewhat forlorn look on his wrinkled features. "It's Paul's grave"

Ian's blood froze. "Wha- I-" he stammered, nervously running a hand through his hair. "How did... how did he-?!"

"In his sleep, at the ripe old age of seventy nine years old" he cut in, turning back to gaze at it. “Out of all the people I’ve lost over the decades, after everyone I had to bury before their time... I’m glad that I got to live my life out with him” he told himself, voice quivering as he pressed on. His face hardened, and the anger that rose in his voice was sharp and loud. “But... it doesn’t negate the suffering that he caused us. Doesn’t bring back all of the people that he murdered. Kate, Sarah, Samson, Rex... Nikki. There’s no forgiving what Immortal did to us, did to everyone. And I swear, on everyone I’ve lost, that I will kill him; that I will tear that bastard limb from limb, and burn what’s left, even if it’s the last fucking thing I do!”

A figure materialised next to the older Ian, a young man in grey robes, clearly a wizard of the same order as he once was. He remembered the first time he wore those robes, a downtrodden nineteen year old, seeking some redemption for his past. It all seemed so distant now. “Master Ian,” the man greeted, hastily bowing to him, “we’re ready. We await your command.”

The older Ian brushed something from under his eye, perhaps a tear, and calmly told his student “Ready yourselves. We leave in two hours”, dismissing them after with a wave. “Today, it ends. For good.”

The younger Ian had no idea what to say, what to ask at the many revelations he had just heard from this alternate of himself. He turned to leave, to go to back into the great hall they had been staying at. “Hang on,” he heard his older self tell him, and he stopped. “There’s something I need to give you.”

“What?” he asked.

“This” the older Ian replied, fishing what looked like a necklace from a pocket in his robes. No, not a necklace- a ring, simple dirty silver on a thin chord. He pressed it into the younger wizard’s palm, reluctantly so, like it was a herculean effort just to let go of the band. 

“Is it magical?”

“No”

“What’s it for?”

“You’ll know when the time comes. Until then, keep a close eye on it, won’t you?”

“I... I will” Ian promised, stuffing the ring into his pocket. “I’ll leave you now” he quickly added, turning again and quickly moving back to the hall. That left the old man, the old Ian, to go back to the grave that captivated him. He knelt, pressing a wrinkled and frail hand to the piled stone as he tried and failed to hold back the tears brimming in his eyes. His hand moved from the stone to his mouth and back again, a kiss pressed to the rock on his palm. He sniffled, blinking through the salty sting of tears. When he spoke again, it was little more than a strained whisper, hoarse from decades of pain and loss. But it was also happy, pulling up every moment of bliss and happiness to steel himself for the coming fight. All he could utter was a simple phrase, repeated over decades and woven into everything he did:

“I love you, Paul. Always will”

[heyitsmerose]

Letting Go

Pairing: Broken!Reader x Stranger!Yunho

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt Comfort

Word Count: 12.1k

Summary: You've never felt more down. Despite having a loving family and studying at a good school you still aren't happy. You may have many objective luxuries, but you don't have anyone to talk to. The stress from all around you is getting to you and you finally break. You can't take this anymore. Deciding to finally take matters into your own hands and end this for good, you go to your favourite bridge one last time to say your goodbyes to the world. Until someone stops you that is...

Warnings/Disclaimer: In no way do I mean to romanticise mental illness. Through this oneshot, I want to show depression and other mental heath issues for what they are. I will not sugar coat anything and will show them for how exhausting and painful they are. Again, I am not writing this to romanticise mental illness, rather provide comfort and create a safe space to talk about mental health. Remember, it's never too late to get help, and I'm always here for you. It can be as small as personally messaging me how you're feeling today, I'm here to listen :) This oneshot will obviously be talking about suicide, depression, obsession and mental health in general. If these topics trigger you, this oneshot may not be for you.

Suicide

Depression

Swearing

Mentions of Sexual Abuse

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Youtube Playlist

1:05  ───|────── 2:53

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*I've spent a few weeks on this, I'm sorry if there are spelling errors, I've read the entire thing maybe 5-6 times.

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Facing the window in front of you, you sighed. You felt numb. It was raining and was around 6 pm. It was cloudy outside and the rain made the sky a few shades darker than normal. One of your windows was opened and you could smell the rain. The earth smell that made you feel all giddy inside. Excitement used to bubble inside you whenever you recognized the familiar scent of the wet earth, it indicated that it was going to rain. You loved the rain. It felt so comforting and the sound of the raindrops calmed you. At least that's how it used to feel. Now, you feel numb. Unaware of your surroundings and unfazed by a natural phenomenon that once caused you joy.

You sighed looking outside. It was frustrating. The rain that once comforted you was now frustrating. The constant pitter-patter noises bothered you and you were unable to get anything done. You slammed the window shut with all the force you could muster and plopped yourself back on your chair, redirecting your attention to what was on the desk. Ahh right, you had homework to finish. The bright screen of your laptop burned your eyes and caused them to feel sore but you couldn't care less.

You had 2 essays due tomorrow and although that didn't sound like a lot it was just the tip of the iceberg. Not only did you have 2 essays to start (and finish on the same day), you also had an oral presentation you had to give tomorrow for your music class. You didn't have your presentation ready and you were presenting to over 50 other people.

You had everything you could have possibly wanted. Your parents were not too rich but you were quite well off with a duplex in a multi-story apartment. Your dad had a stable career and was the country manager of a company giving him a good amount of power. Your mother was a social butterfly and had many connections. They sent you to a private school and let you study what you wanted. Although you didn't have any close friends in school, you had a few people you sat with.

See? You had everything you could have possibly wanted but you were still miserable. You knew this wasn't normal. For the past few months, you felt numb. There wasn't a better word to describe it. You felt apathetic and unfazed by everything. You were slowly starting to lose interest in the things you once found thrilling and fun and felt disconnected from reality. Your own parents felt like strangers and you felt like you couldn't talk to them. In actuality, your parents were loving and provided you with everything you could have possibly wanted. They took really good care of you and regularly showed affection. They were also quite understanding and were easy-going and fun. The fact that your parents are so caring makes you feel all the more guilty about telling them. You can't tell anyone.

You huffed, running your hands through your hair roughly. You gripped the roots of your hair and began to feel it again. The feeling of darkness creeping into your mind.

"what's the point of this?"

"I want this to stop"

"When will it get better?"

"Does it ever get better?"

In all honesty, you felt hopeless. You had to begin and finish 2 whole essays and prepare your presentation. Listening to music, eating anything, or even taking a break were useless, they would just distract you. You chewed the end of your pencil enough to make the end of it dent. Your teeth hurt but you continued doing so. At least the physical pain would distract you from this crazy workload. Or so you thought... You began to type on your laptop. You were writing your mid-term paper and were given the freedom to pick whatever topic you wanted as long as you felt like it expressed your emotions.

You typed the first thing that came to mind.

"I want to escape. I keep wanting for this to stop, I keep expecting everything to get better. It never does. It's an endless cycle of work and just more work. I feel like a robot and in all honesty, the lack of emotion is the only thing I'm feeling"

Your face had a stoic expression as your fingers fluttered across the keyboard. The gentle noise of keys clicking was the only thing heard for another hour or so. You didn't take any breaks and just wanted to get it done. At this point, you didn't care if it was good or even decent, you just wanted to get it done. That was very unlike you though. You were no topper, but you considered yourself quite hardworking and diligent. You were slowly falling behind though, but you couldn't care less. You just wanted to get it over with.

In the essay you wrote, you didn't get too personal, you simply wrote about your feelings and personified them. You spoke about your feelings as if they were an obstacle in your way. Despite being quite specific, you made it seem as though you were not talking about yourself. You fixed up the grammar and printed out your paper, stapling it, ready to submit it tomorrow. You looked outside and by now it was way darker. It was around 8:30 and it was time for dinner.

You went downstairs to get your plate of dinner and greeted your mom.

"Y/n, you're finally here, I almost forgot you were even living in this house" She chuckled and your dad joined in. You didn't laugh though.

"Hey, cheer up, your mom was just kidding, is everything alright?" Your dad chimed in.

In all honesty, you knew your mom didn't mean it, she was just kidding, but mocking you for the amount of workload you had didn't seem right. The question by your dad, however, completely caught you off guard. In your heart, you knew you weren't. You noticed how you started drifting off and spacing out while someone was talking to you. You noticed how you stopped feeling joy and noticed how you never had time for anything but school. Your face was glued to the ground and you nodded. You didn't want to lie, but you couldn't help it. You'd feel guilty for possibly making them feel like it was their fault.

Your parents both just sighed and your mom held your hand. She brought you to sit at the dining table and looked at you with nothing but love in her eyes.

"Y/n... We know something is bothering you. You know you can tell us anything right?" Your mom asked as she cupped your cheek. You looked back up at her and saw both of your parents looking at you worriedly.

You could feel the back of your eyelids stinging. Your throat got dry and you felt a burning in your nose. This was it. This was your chance to finally tell them how you felt. You wanted to tell them everything. From how you felt incompetent, to the constant stress and pressure. You wanted to finally break down your walls and tell them that you lacked the feelings you felt before. But you couldn't. The lump in your throat grew and you felt the corners of your eyes getting wetter. You couldn't get any words out. You badly wanted to just let it all out, but the words were stuck in your throat.

You also couldn't just break down all of a sudden or they would get really worried. You couldn't let them watch you break down. You would never forgive yourself if they ever thought the way you were feeling was because of them.

You simply sucked in a deep breath of air and looked away before they noticed anything was wrong.

"I just have a lot of work. I have more to do though, so if you could excuse me." You said, your voice wavering as you walked away from them.

"What about your dinner?" Your mom asked pointing at the counter. You just sighed and picked up a plate of food. Your hands trembled and your lip quivered from the overwhelming situation and you rushed to your room as fast as you could. As soon as you left, your mom just sighed and looked at your dad and her face showed immense concern. He brought her into his warm embrace reassured her. You would come to them when the time was right. You would eventually tell them what was bothering you. right? Although you didn't want them to feel guilty, they already did.

The second you reached your room upstairs you locked the door behind you. You tossed the food into the dustbin near your desk and put the plate aside. You felt guilty. Every day your mom would make you a full course meal only for you to throw it away without even having a bite. You couldn't help it though. You had a lot of work to do and eating was not your first priority. Besides, you already had lunch. This was not a rare occurrence. You would usually skip breakfast and dinner, directly eating lunch. Your stomach growled but you couldn't care less.

You rushed into the bathroom in your room and closed the door behind you. Your back slid down the door and your hands flew to your face. You almost blew your cover. It was quite an overwhelming situation. Your hands covered your mouth as the first sob wracked through your body. You were lucky that you were in the bathroom, in your room, on the second floor, it was practically impossible for anyone to hear you.

Your hands moved up to your hair as you gripped it tightly in between your fingers. Slowly, more cries came out. The bathroom echoed with your sobs and heavy breathing. You tried muffling your cries to no avail. You sobbed loudly while you shoved your palm against your mouth trying to stop yourself from crying but nothing worked. You tried digging your fingernails into your palm to distract yourself from all the emotional pain with physical pain but it still didn't work.

You tried breathing steadily only to break out into sobs a few seconds later. You let out gut-wrenching sobs that had been bottled up for too long now. Your throat was raw and your nose was red.

"Make it stop" You whispered to yourself. Were you being dramatic? Were you overreacting? You didn't know and you didn't care. Your sobs slowly died down but your hands were still clamped over your mouth trying to get them to stop completely.

After a few minutes, you went to wash your face. You noticed your eyes were red and your hair was not in a bun anymore but was now all over the place. You sighed and washed your face with cold water trying to remove any traces of that sudden breakdown. Besides, you just wasted around 20 minutes of your time, crying when you could have been working and finishing off your other essay.

You didn't care to change your clothes and sat back on your desk. You sighed and looked out the window again. The rain had died down and there was now just a cool breeze. A layer of mist had collected after the rain coating the trees and plants outside. Despite living in the city, your window faced a big green space. In the mornings there were usually only around 3 people at max, making it quite empty. At night it was even more serene and lonely.

You drew shapes on your windows while trying to think of a topic to write your essay about. Your second essay was supposed to be an analysis report about any experiment of your choice.

You chose to write about the expectancy-value theory.

The Expectancy Value Theory suggests that motivation for a given behavior or action is determined by two factors: (i) expectancy, ie, how probable it is that a wanted (instrumental) outcome is achieved through the behavior or action; (ii) value, ie, how much the individual values the desired outcome.

You scoffed as you read it. Lies. All you've been taught to do is the work you've been given in school. You didn't want to do it. You didn't find it interesting and you couldn't care less about failing if it was up to you. The only reason you were working was because school wanted you to. If you had the option, you would gladly stop. So no, the expectancy-value theory, in your mind was not correct, since for some people, ie. you, motivation didn't come from yourself, rather it came in the form of forced requirements from others. Others have high expectations and expect good quality work from you, but if you were given the choice, you would take care of yourself instead of focussing so much on your studies. The expectancy theory, in your mind, as false as the only thing influencing you to work was other people forcing you.

You decided that was the perfect thesis for your essay and began to write. Although the point of the essay was to discuss the findings of the experiment, you went in a different direction. You wrote your entire essay about disproving that stupid experiment. You didn't discuss the data results but instead countered them with your own data. After another hour or so of aggressive typing and writing shit about Martin Fishbein, you decided you were finally done and decided to finish off your essay. You were happy with the way it turned out, although it was certainly not what was asked of you.

You wrapped up your essay by simply restating your points and you printed that too. By this point, it was already 11 pm and although you weren't sleepy, you just wanted to get this over with and rest. Your final task for tomorrow was your music presentation. All you had to do was pick your favorite classical piece and write a bit about it.

Music was one of the only hobbies you liked. You took pride in composing and making music, however, your school had ruined it for you. The only things they made you do were to analyze pieces of music and discuss the elements of music and their implication. You never got to actually compose or make your own music so you started to dread it as a subject too.

You picked up the first piece that came to mind. Dvorak's 'Humoresque'. Wow, how original, you thought. You began to listen to the piece and understand it better. As a kid, this used to be your favorite piece. Now? It just feels bland. It doesn't feel the way it used to. You began scribbling a few quick points about the song before beginning your presentation.

After taking notes, you finally began working on your presentation. In total, it took around 4 hours to finish and it was exactly 4 am. You sighed and uploaded your presentation to a pen drive before packing up your bag for school.

You had to be up for school by 7 anyway, so you'd get 2-3 hours of sleep at max. You hopped into bed as soon as you were done, not caring about putting anything back or even changing your clothes.

Unfortunately, unlike you hoped, you weren't able to fall asleep as soon as your head crashed onto the pillow. Instead, your mind preoccupied with other things was way too clouded with stressful thoughts to let you relax enough to fall asleep.

You tossed and turned in bed as your stomach growled. You huffed and tried blocking out the feeling. You didn't regret skipping dinner, it was necessary to finish off your work. You sighed and closed your eyes, trying to sleep. You lied for at least 10 minutes simply doing nothing. You tossed and turned trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in, but nothing worked. Your mind was simply too preoccupied to let you rest. you closed your eyes trying to calm yourself, only for your thoughts to go back to yesterday evening. You remembered the short conversation with your parents and how they seemed genuinely concerned. Did they know what was happening to you? They were your parents, after all, they probably figured something was wrong.

Thinking about your relationship with them, you felt guilty. You realized how your conversations were never longer than 5-10 minutes and you were always the one to cut them short. You didn't spend as much time with them as you used to, instead of dedicating all your time to studying.

All of a sudden, you remembered how they used to take care of you when you were a child. You remembered the first time they taught you how to ride a bike, your first day of school, and your middle school graduation. You can't remember the last time you all were together as a family and enjoyed yourselves. You were usually too busy and you regretted it.

Unconsciously, you sniffled, your eyes getting watery again. You huffed, roughly wiping and rubbing your eyes, embarrassed that all it took for you to get emotional was a few memories. You sighed shakily, trying to get your thoughts away from that, or else you knew you'd have another breakdown. Still not being able to fall asleep for another 45 minutes, you gave up.

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You got up and checked your phone, only to see that the time was 6:30 am. How perfect. You didn't bother combing your hair and tied a messy bun, too tired and too unbothered to even attempt to look decent. You hopped into the bathroom, brushing your teeth and grabbing a towel. You looked back into the mirror as you did yesterday during your mini breakdown. You had dark circles under your eyes, your eyes were red and your nose was tinted pink. You couldn't care less though.

You hopped into the shower and turned the temperature to max coldness, trying to wake yourself up to make yourself look less tired and well... less dead. You shivered at the temperature but bared it for the sake of looking slightly presentable and more awake.

You grabbed your soap and began to lather some on your hands. A few seconds later though, you felt a mild stinging sensation on both of your palms. You quickly washed away the soap as it was starting to burn and inspected your hands. Your palms. They were bruised and cut slightly. You stared at your palms and the crescent-shaped cuts on both of your palms. There were exactly 4 crescent-shaped cuts on each palm with a bunch of bruising around it. You realized it was from digging your fingernails into your palms yesterday. You did so in an attempt to stop crying but it didn't work. Oh well, now you have this to worry about as well, could your life get any worse? You made sure to carefully lather on the soap being wary of the cuts on your palms.

After you took a bath and got ready, you made sure to double-check that you had packed both your essays and the presentation pen drive. After confirming, you grabbed your backpack and hurried downstairs. Although you felt guilty for randomly rushing out during dinner, you didn't want to confront your parents. The nerves from your upcoming presentation were creeping up onto you and you were beyond terrified. You didn't feel hungry and didn't want any confrontation.

You quickly hurried down the stairs and avoided your parents' eyes. At this point, it had become regular for you to leave the house without a word. Your mom wouldn't bother too much since she knew you'd usually buy yourself something to eat at school itself. Or so she thought. It was a lie you told her a long time ago. Despite this, due to your unfinished conversation yesterday you feared they would come after you or confront you so you avoided them at all costs and rushed outside. Lucky for you, your parents didn't mind too much and carried on with what they were doing.

Outside, you noticed how the mist from yesterday had settled and was now fogging up the roads slightly. The mist collected on the grass on the side of the sidewalks in the form of dewdrops and you could smell the same earthy smell. You checked your phone once to get a glimpse of the time and realized you were quite early. Despite this, you still couldn't calm your nerves.

You gripped both straps of your backpack, not lifting your head. You stared at the ground kicking small pebbles along your way. The entire walk to school was quite uneventful and not too interesting. You mainly stayed on the same side of the sidewalk and luckily nothing came in your way. It was a 5-7 minute walk to school since you lived quite close to school and didn't see the point in wasting gas.

Once you reached your school, you tried ignoring everyone in your way, just trying to submit your essays. You were quite nervous and just wanted to remove some burden from your shoulders so submitting your essays early in the morning would be the best option. You rushed into the school building immediately setting your target on your science class that was a few floors up.

Fortunately, the hallways and stairways were mostly empty with just a few teachers and staff and maybe 5-7 students. That was one of the perks of being this early, you could get things done freely without being rushed by the students. You decided to stop at the principles office first, and then drop off your science essay.

You had to drop off your mid-term essay outside the principles office where a few teachers were collecting them. You made your way to the outside of your principal's office to drop off your paper. While walking there, the pace of your heart quickened, although you were simply dropping off your essay, something about being this close to the principles office didn't sit right with you. As you got closer you could feel the tingly feeling in your stomach, caused by the nerves. You carefully walked right in front of the drop-off desk and greeted the teacher. You were asked to fill in your name and the date dropped off, so you were handed a pen.

You were mindful not to let the pen put pressure against the cuts in your palm, but couldn't help but wince softly as the pen brushed against them as you picked it up. The teacher simply looked at you and you forced a smile. As soon as you dropped off your essay, you rushed away from there as soon as possible to a less scary area.

You made your way to your science class and dropped off your essay about expectancy value and took your seat in class. You were quite proud of the essay you wrote since you felt like you portrayed your opinion quite well. You also had science first period anyways, so you took your usual seat near the window in the front of the class and started to unpack.

You waited for at least 10 to 15 minutes before your science teacher came into class. He wasn't surprised that you were early since you usually came quite early. When you noticed he entered class, you immediately averted eye contact and looked somewhere else. In all honesty, your science teacher scared you.

All the other girls gushed over how he was just 5 or 6 years older than you and was handsome. You didn't see what they saw in him as you knew he had ulterior motives. You noticed the blatant sexism in class and how he always paid more attention to the girls, explaining it to them in detail while just brushing off the guys. You noticed how whenever everyone left class, he would stare at the exposed legs of the female students caused by the knee-length skirt that was a part of the school uniform. You noticed how he would favor the girls in general, letting them have their way, even letting them use their phones in class from time to time.

Although he hadn't made any advances, he was still really sleazy in general, and the very thought of him creeped you out. You didn't have too many personal encounters with him, just a few weird looks here and there, so you tried to avoid him as much as you could. When he noticed that you were not paying attention to him he sighed and collected his things. Usually, he would simply leave you alone, knowing school would start soon, but since the both of you were quite early he tried making conversation.

"Hey Y/n, Good morning!" He said all of a sudden. You whipped your head up, surprised that he was talking to you since he had never done so before.

"Hi" You hesitantly replied making sure to not seem too nervous, but also look a little busy so he would leave you alone.

"How's everything going? Are you feeling okay?" Although you knew he asked you that question simply wanting to ask you how you were feeling, you couldn't help but think to last night when you had a similar conversation with your parents.

"U-um, I'm fine, yeah, I'm good" You stuttered, diverting your attention elsewhere indicating you were done with the conversation.

He simply sighed and sat back down on top of his desk. He noticed that you had submitted your science essay/report and decided to read a bit of it before class started hopefully to give you someone on one feedback.

He picked up the paper and the rustling of the pages alerted you. You looked back at him only to notice that he was reading your essay. You felt nauseous and giddy all of a sudden. He wasn't supposed to be reading your essay now, especially in front of you. Your mouth got dry and you tried to calm yourself. You looked away so he wouldn't notice your stare as he continued reading for the next 2 or 3 minutes.

You looked back at him from time to time and noticed how his eyebrows were scrunched. You saw his somewhat disappointed expression and your stomach dropped. Was your essay not okay? Was he going to fail you? Your breaths got shallower and you looked around trying to calm yourself. All of a sudden, your science teacher spoke.

"Y/n, this was not what was asked of you" He stated matter-of-factly. You felt frustrated and embarrassed and your heart was in your throat. You tried clearing your throat to be able to speak. You looked back up at him, finally making eye contact, and gulped.

"I don't- I don't understand, I did what was-" You finally got out, only to be interrupted by him again.

"No, you didn't. It seems like you're disproving the experiment instead of proving it true. Meet me after class, we can discuss how to fix it." He stated, looking at you with a distressed smile. You forced back a smile and quickly looked away.

Eventually, students began to fill up the class and around 10 minutes after that dreadful conversation, the class had finally started. Unfortunately for you, you kept spacing out and couldn't pay attention to what was being taught due to your mind lingering on your stupid science essay. You began to think it was your fault. Maybe you hadn't studied hard enough? Maybe you just weren't smart enough? You put your head down and proceeded to bear the next 85 minutes or so, absentmindedly.

Luckily for you, your teacher hadn't called on you even once. He simply kept teaching and asking other students questions. You noticed how he tried to make jokes from time to time while all the girls giggled, and although your head was down, you knew he most likely had a smug smile on his face. You scoffed and kept getting lost in your thoughts. After what felt like an eternity, you finally through the class.

Now, it was time to finally confront your science teacher after class and you were not looking forward to it. You acted as if you were packing your bag so the other students wouldn't suspect anything. The last thing you wanted was for them to think you were spending time outside class with your science doing god knows what.

After everyone left, you sat back at your desk and waited for him to call on you, or notice you hoping, to get this over with as soon as possible. He grabbed your paper again and went through it again. You sighed and looked down. He slowly shifted his gaze towards you and ushered for you to grab a chair and sit next to his desk.

You huffed and picked up your chair dragging it to his desk. You plopped it down and took a seat on it. He sighed and brought his chair next to yours sitting on it as well. He began to explain that the experiment that he expected was a 'scientific' one with tangible results instead of a "social experiment" to quote directly. You huffed getting annoyed, how could he say that psychological studies weren't as valid? They were equally important. You sighed and looked away getting frustrated.

He wanted to explain it better, and went to get his pen that was next to you. Instead of asking you to give it to him, like a normal person, he rested his hand on your knee, reaching over to get it. On the outside, you kept your cool but inside you were freaking out. You glared daggers at his hand which was on your knee and didn't lift your gaze, as if staring at his hand was going to make him take it off.

Even after he reached over and got his pen, his hand was still on your thigh. He began to talk about some random experiment but you weren't paying attention. Why wasn't he taking his hand off you? You tried adjusting and moving your leg, crossing them over, to get him to let go, but his grip was firm.

"Hey, Y/n are you listening?" He clarified all of a sudden. You slowly pulled your gaze away from your knee and looked him dead in the eye. You glared at him, indicating you didn't want this. Despite this, he just didn't know when to stop, did he?

"Hey, calm down, what's wrong?" He asked sincerely. If only his actions reflected the same care, you knew he knew what he was doing. In an attempt to calm you down, his hand moved further up, grasping your thigh. You gasped and looked up at him with your mouth agape.

"Let go." You said sternly, you knew he was your teacher but he had to know his limits.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that, it's alright," He said, the grip on your thigh becoming tighter. No, this was most definitely not okay. Due to the thin fabric of your school uniform skirt, you could feel his hand completely. You scrunched your eyebrows in disgust as you tried scooting backward. He got up though, towering over your shorter figure. You tried pulling away only for him to grip tighter.

"I didn't do anything" He stated firmly, grasping your wrist. He held your wrist tightly, not letting go. You cowered under him, still trying to pull yourself away.

"You don't want this?" He asked shamelessly. You shook your head rapidly, tears stinging in your eyes. He scoffed, roughly releasing your arm. You sighed, instantly getting as far away from him as possible, grabbing your backpack. You quickly shoved your remaining stationery in the first zip you found and threw your backpack over your shoulder, rushing out.

As you were about to leave though you heard him speak up again.

"Do not speak of this to anyone. I'm afraid I will have to fail you for this paper" He said trying to make you feel guilty. You couldn't care less though, without looking back, you nodded your head and left the class.

You cleared your throat as it had closed up. You realized you were crying in the middle of the hallway, so you quickly rushed to the toilet. Luckily, no one saw you, but you still wanted to get away, to freshen yourself up. You splashed water on your face trying to forget what happened in class a few minutes ago.

After that terrifying incident with your science teacher, the rest of the day was quite uneventful. You eventually got through your other subjects including music, and your presentation was a disaster. You weren't able to pay attention to what you were saying since your mind was still in different places. You stuttered your words and kept repeating the same thing.

Your peers realized you were distracted and your teacher knew you were bothered since your presentations were usually quite clear and informative. Thus, this time, they decided to let you off the hook. You were thankful that no one commented on that crappy presentation and simply went back to your seat.

Since you had music for the last period itself you were able to call it a day right after. You decided to skip your after-school commitment since you simply had too much on your mind.

After that shitty day, you decided to try to get your mind off of it by taking a walk in the green space near your apartment. You knew that it would mostly be empty right now as it was a weekday and because it was almost 4 pm, meaning it would most likely rain again.

You were still 5 minutes away from home, so you decided to walk home to the green space nearby. The entire walk there was quite silent. You took this time to try to process and understand the emotions you were feeling. It was getting fairly chilly due to the cold breeze, wind, and mist blowing. You folded both of your arms, rubbing them up and down, trying to get rid of the coldness.

The walk was quite short and you reached there in no time. Since the green area was right in front of your apartment, you could see your window from it. As soon as you reached, you saw your car leaving the apartment. Peeking around the corner, you realized it was your car. Your dad must have just left to go see your grandparents. You tried to hide a little, just in case. If your mom saw you here she would be disappointed that you lied to your dad about meeting your teacher after school.

You found a bench that faced away from your window just in case, so no one from your apartment could see your face. By the time, you found a good spot and settled and sat down, it was around 4:30 pm. You didn't really have a reason for coming to the park. You simply wanted to get your mind off of school, the workload, the stress, and what happened in the morning, so now that you were here, you didn't know what to do. Fortunately, tomorrow was slightly lighter. You didn't have any assessments due tomorrow, but you wanted to check in with your peers to ask them what you missed in the after-school session today and revise that before tomorrow.

Other than that though, you didn't know what to do. Due to this, you ended up spacing out. You simply sat on the bench rubbing your knees from the freezing wind from time to time just staring into the abyss. Quite honestly, it didn't feel forced, awkward or uncomfortable, it felt... calming. You felt a lot of comfort in the fact that you could just take time to process everything. Your way of doing that? Sitting out in the cold breeze, staring at nothing, mind blank. It didn't feel like a waste of time and you definitely didn't regret spending your time gazing at the nature.

Ever since you were young, you had a habit of counting the birds in trees or on the ground. Today was no different. Now that you were out in the nature, it made it easier to count them. You didn't do it for any particular reason, it was just a way of coping and de-stressing. You sat for a good 2 hours just observing everything around you and not doing anything. This included counting birds, staring into nothingness, daydreaming, and spacing out. You were suddenly interrupted by a honking car nearby.

You checked the time and realized it was 6 already. You freaked out and instantly got up, picking your bag. You didn't even realize it had started to drizzle and your sweater/school uniform started collecting water in the form of small droplets. You grabbed your bag, slinging it over your back, walking home, which was just a minute away, right opposite the park. You looked around making sure nobody saw you. Although you quite liked sitting out and simply doing nothing, you could understand how other people might have thought you were absolutely crazy for sitting out and doing nothing for 2 and a half hours.

You sighed looking around. You didn't want to go home just yet and didn't have anywhere else to go. The rain started getting a little heavier and you just gave up, looking up at the sky. Your clothes instantly clung to your figure and you shivered at the coldness.

You decided to take a walk around the nearby neighborhood since you didn't have anywhere else to go. This was actually quite rare. You usually never had the time to come outside and think about your life or reflect on anything as you were always cooped up in your bedroom doing work.

You huffed, rubbing your hands together. By now, your hair and clothes were drenched and your face was covered in water drops. You decided to visit the Mapo bridge to view the Han river from above. Ever since childhood, it was one of your favorite places as you were able to see the Han river below you, the Yeongdeungpo district to your left, and the Mapo district to your right. It had always been a calming sight.

It would take around 10-15 minutes to get there by car from your house but since you didn't really have access to a car right now, you had to walk. You knew it would take at least 45 minutes to get there but you still didn't care.

Unlike the two hours you spent at the park doing literally nothing, this felt different. You thought about the events happening in your life over the past few days, weeks, and months deciding to reflect on them during your journey.

You thought about your parents. How they always welcomed you with open arms while you often gave them the cold shoulder. You felt guilty that was for sure.

You thought about your friends. You had no close friends and the ones you had were slowly starting to drift away. You hadn't sat with them or even talked to them in over 2 weeks.

You thought about your studies. How you always stayed up late doing homework and taking notes while it never paid out. Instead, your crappy work just got you in more trouble.

You thought about the incident with your teacher today. How he touched you inappropriately and gripped your thigh. You shivered, pulling your skirt down slightly.

Unconsciously, tears had started to fall from your eyes. Luckily it was raining so nobody noticed anything too out of place. Despite this, you definitely got some weird stares. At first, the tears were silent. Your face was stoic while tears poured out of your eyes. Eventually though, recalling the painful memories and feelings was too much and your eyebrows furrowed. Your bottom lip trembled as you tried to contain your cries. It started off as light whimpers and occasional gasps.

You rubbed at your eyes and felt yourself losing control. Your cries got louder and you had to clasp a hand over your mouth. At this point, you didn't really care about anything else in the world and were overwhelmed by pain.

You threw your backpack onto some random chair god knows where, and continued walking. No without your backpack you felt freer, and both your hands flew to your face, as you walked in the cold rain.

Meanwhile, you had reached Mapo bridge and began to walk across the pedestrian section. Since it was raining, almost no one was on the bridge and you could finally let your emotions out freely. Your gasps got louder and you let out a strangled sob. Your hands flew to your face trying to cover it up, only for it to be followed by more cries.

As you walked to the middle of the bridge, stumbling across your steps not paying attention to what you were doing. You read the signs on the bridge.

"많이 힘들었구나" (It must be very hard)

"잘 지내지" (How are you)

"파란 하늘을 봐 봐" (Look at the blue sky)

They were mocking you. It was hard, you were not okay and nothing could make this pain better. Your eyes unconsciously closed your eyes and you let out a string of sobs. You choked on your tears, covering your face with your hands sobbing into them.

You rubbed at your eyes but nothing would stop this pain. You looked up at the Han river and thought for a moment. You looked down over the railing of the bridge and noticed the drop.

This was your chance. This was your chance to let go of all your pain and finally be free.

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Yunho was out with his friends. It was a rainy day and he had just gotten back from practice. On rainy days such as this one, he would often simply go on a drive with Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung. They were the three that enjoyed the rain and loved going on long drives. Their building was in Mapo but they decided to take a drive over to Yeongdeungpo since they had the rest of the day off.

The Mapo bridge was actually quite empty today. There weren't any cars or any people on the bridge. Since this was quite a rare occurrence, they decided to savor the moment and drive slowly enjoying their playlist while listening to the rain.

Wooyoung was driving while Seonghwa and Yunho were in the back, eating snacks and Hongjoong was picking a playlist. After popping a gummy bear in his mouth, Yunho decided to look outside and observe the Han river. All of a sudden though, around a hundred meters in front of their car near the left railing, a moving figure caught his eye. He was surprised that anyone would be out in the rain at this time. As they got slightly closer he realized they didn't have an umbrella either. As the car got even closer he realized that the figure was a girl. Your hair was drenched and so were your clothes. He stared at you weirdly wondering what on earth you were doing. You simply slid down the railing sitting on the floor, sobbing your eyes out and Yunho's eyes widened. He realized you were crying as your entire body was shaking with sobs and your hands were over your face.

He suddenly felt the urge to help and spoke up.

'Woo, slow the car for one second" He whispered softly and Wooyoung simply looked back and Yunho shrugging. He obliged and slowed down the speed of the car. Yunho continued to observe you. He didn't want to get out of the car since it was raining and he didn't have an umbrella but continued to watch you.

He watched the way your hands came up from your face and you gripped the roots of your hair. He watched how you tried to cover up your cries by cupping your hand over your mouth from time to time only for your to cry harder as your eyes squinted shut.

While they were driving past slowly, everyone was minding their own business while Yunho was still staring at you. Hongjoong had realized how Yunho was giggly before and then became silent all of a sudden and decided to check up on him. Hongjoong looked up at Yunho from the rear mirror, only to find his gaze locked on something outside. Hongjoong followed his gaze and found you as well. He saw that you were crying and stayed silent not knowing what to do.

Yunho was still looking at you and didn't notice how his leader was now also intrigued. He noticed how you roughly rubbed at your eyes getting up. He thought that you were done crying and that this was just a mini breakdown. Besides, everyone had bad days and maybe your way of letting it out was crying in the rain. Hongjoong averted his eyes as he saw you get up, giving you some privacy while Yunho kept his gaze locked on you.

He noticed how you were now facing the railing and looking out at the river. All of a sudden though, he saw you take off your shoes and a sudden wave of urgency washed over him.

"Stop the car!" He yelled at Wooyoung, while everyone in the car visibly flinched at his sudden voice, looking at him with concern. Wooyoung abruptly stopped the car, causing everyone to jerk slightly. The door immediately flew open and Yunho ran out of the car not caring whether his clothes got wet. Seonghwa had gasped and scooted to Yunho's side, peeking through, looking at what was going on.

Meanwhile, Yunho's intuition was correct. He knew something was wrong and the second you took off your shoes, he knew what you were trying to do. After you took off your shoes, you firmly grasped the railing of the bridge, hoisting yourself up, to sit on it. You looked around you, making sure no one was watching, although you didn't care at this point. Your mind was made up.

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You slowly scooted to the end of the railing, your hand tightly gripping the railing. You looked down, all that was below you was a 60-foot drop and lots of water. You sighed out shakily and looked back one last time. Your hands slowly let go and you breathed in a deep breath of air. You looked up at the sky and let out a wave of sobs before pushing yourself off the railing.

You expected to immediately feel the cold breeze hitting you as you fell over the bridge but you didn't. Instead, you felt a strong force pulling you backward.

The back of your head roughly collided with the concrete ground of the bridge and you let out a yelp. You looked around you processing your surroundings. You expected to be in the water by now, taking your final breaths. Instead, you were still back on the bridge and you fell back instead of forward.

You looked around suddenly, gripping the back of your head wanting to know who or what the fuck stopped you from doing so. Although you were mad you couldn't help but cry.

You sat up on the ground, knees close to your chest as you covered your hands and sobbed. You let out such painful cries, guttural noises, filled with pain. You cried, each cry letting out more sorrow than the last.

Little did you know, someone was scanning all your actions on the side, not knowing how to process the situation that just happened. He just witnessed someone who almost committed suicide.

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The second, he realized you took off your shoes, he knew that you were going to jump. It was a common occurrence, especially on this bridge. His intuition was proven correct when he saw you hoist yourself onto the railing. You were going to jump.

His body was moving on its own at that point and kicked the door open, rushing out as fast as possible. He didn't care about his clothes or his very expensive shoes, keeping only one goal in mind. As you scooted closer to the edge of the railing his heart stopped. He sprinted to the railing as fast as he could, almost slipping along the way. He roughly wrapped his big arms around your waist and he yanked you backward. He fell back onto the bridge and let go of your waist, catching his won fall, while you simply fell backward with force.

As you broke down in front of him, he felt a stinging in his heart. By now, Hongjoong and Seonghwa had also stepped out of the car with an umbrella, a little more cautious as they stood near the car itself, giving you a little space.

Yunho decided to slowly make a move to check up on you. He called out softly, but you didn't hear him.

"Excuse me?" He asked carefully, bottom lip caught in between his teeth from nervousness. You couldn't hear him over the rain and your sobs and frankly didn't care about anything else but the overwhelming pain in your heart.

He looked around nervously, before lifting a hand. He hesitantly brought it closer to you, doubting whether to touch you. He was wondering if you'd be comfortable, but he really wanted to help. He resorted to gently tapping your shoulder with his hands to alert you of his presence.

The second you felt his touch you immediately flinched, not noticing another person's presence. You looked up at him, before clasping your hand over your mouth. Although you knew that it was futile at this point, you still tried your best to cover up your sobs. You let out a string of sobs before squeezing your eyes shut and muttering apologies nonstop.

You kept stopping yourself with your cries but continued to whisper apologies. Yunho's eyes widened as he rapidly shook his head. Why on earth were you apologizing to him? As you looked up at him he noticed how strands of your wet hair clung to your face, your swollen and red eyes as well as your pink-tinted nose. He knew you must have been crying for a long time as your eyes reflected nothing but pain as they were completely bloodshot.

"Hey, hey, hey, I've got you" He whispered as he started patting your back. You nodded as you scooted closer. At this point, you didn't care how you were acting, simply trying to process what was happening. You pulled yourself together trying to get words out.

"May, I lean on you?" You softly whispered, voice breaking in the middle. Yunho hesitantly agreed, opening his arms up for you. You broke down again. You knew that you had been crying a lot that day, and maybe you were overreacting a bit, but in the heat of the moment, you simply couldn't stop.

You leaned into his warm chest taking in his musky scent that was slowly being washed away by the rain as he slowly crept a hand up to your back, rubbing it up and down.

"I'm here, I've got you, You're alright" He whispered into your hair. He knew you weren't in the right mind, but let you have your way just for now. You scrunched his now wet hoodie in your smaller fists as you tried to regain your composure.

You pulled away from a little embarrassed and looked away, knowing very well that he had already seen you, so there was no point. Yunho scooted further a little embarrassed too.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly and you shook your head, looking back up at him. You were surprised to see that his nose was slightly pink and his eyelashes were glistening in tears too. You felt guilty and apologized, a little embarrassed.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you," You said all of a sudden, and he shook his head rapidly.

"No, please don't apologize. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you must be in to want to take your own life." He whispered the last part, still not wanting to agitate you. You nodded and backed away. Yunho suddenly then realized the situation he was in, it was raining and the coldness was starting to get to him, he couldn't even imagine how much pain you must have been in to completely feel numb to it.

"It's raining and it's cold outside, do you want to sit inside our car, we have a heater" He interjected all of a sudden. You got nervous all of a sudden not knowing how to respond.

"I- I- can't-, I'm not sure" You stuttered your words and he noticed your discomfort, trying to divert the topic.

"Do you have anywhere else to go?" He asked looking at you sincerely and you shook your head. You couldn't go home like this. You averted your gaze while he tried to come up with a solution that you were comfortable with. All of a sudden though, you spoke up.

"Where are you going?" You asked and he tried to come up with a comforting answer real quick, one that would convince you to go with them.

"We are just heading to Yeongdeungpo, would you be interested in tagging along?" He asked sincerely. Your grandparents lived there, and you knew they would welcome you without asking questions, so you could go stay at theirs if you wanted to, so you nodded your head.

"Are you sure?" He confirmed with you and you nodded.

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It was safe to say the car ride there was anything but comfortable. You were in a car full of strangers wherein 2 of you were soaking wet.

"What on earth were you thinking?" One of them asked you all of a sudden, and you noticed the male who was with you earlier glared daggers back at them.

"I- um, I didn't- I'm not-" You kept fumbling over your words.

"She's not obligated to answer that." The man from earlier said sternly. You mumbled a thank you and continued to look outside. A few more minutes of silence passed as he tried to break the awkward silence.

"I never got your name by the way," He said all of a sudden, and without looking back you answered.

"Y/n," You said, cutting the conversation short. You weren't in the mood to talk. The other male nodded and introduced himself and the others.

"Well, I'm Yunho, this is Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung" He pointed at them but you didn't look at them, simply nodding, facing the other direction. Through the side mirror of the car, you noticed the boy in the front, the one that had slightly longer hair in the back, and was significantly shorter, glaring at Yunho. You assumed they were not comfortable introducing their identities just yet and you were okay with that.

Most of the car ride was quiet. You let out occasional sighs and whimpers due to the cold but there were no other comments or conversations.

Halfway through the ride though, the boy from earlier, the one who asked you what you were doing on the bridge, Seonghwa, spoke up again.

"Are you okay though?" He trailed off at the end. The other three boys looked at him with wide eyes, presumably glaring, telling him off, when you suddenly cut those thoughts off.

"I don't know" You answered sincerely. In all honestly, nobody had expected you to speak up, so when you did, they were all ears. You sighed before continuing.

"Everything is just so hard on me" You sighed out, as your voice broke at the end of the sentence. You decided that was enough or else you knew you wouldn't be able to stop if you said more. Although your answer was somewhat ambiguous, they didn't want to pressure you.

They all just nodded trying not to make it seem like a big issue. You noticed how Yunho sighed silently next to you before scooting closer to you. This didn't go unnoticed by you. His knees made contact with your fingers which were on either side of you, on the seat, and you looked back up at him questioningly.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? I'm all ears, you don't have to worry about feeling vulnerable. In all honesty, it's best to let your feelings out. You seem like the type to bottle everything up, but you clearly have a lot on your mind, you can tell me if you're comfortable." He whispered sincerely, only of you to hear. You were still looking into his eyes, and unconsciously tears started welling up in your eyes again at the sincerity and care in his voice. You had never told anyone about your problems and this was your chance. A tear slipped down your cheek and you roughly wiped at it, scoffing softly.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me today" You let out a soft breathy laugh, but the both of you knew it was not funny. He looked at you sternly, faux anger on his face as he felt frustrated that you were treating yourself this way, frustrated that you were reducing yourself to an emotionless robot.

"Don't say that. Emotions are what make you human, you don't need to feel embarrassed." He said and you nodded, slowly scooting closer to him. He didn't mind. Although the proximity was making him a little nervous, he was trying his best to comfort you.

He decided to test the waters by putting his arm around you. He slowly and slyly snaked his arm behind your back, since you were leaning forwards and slowly made contact with the small of your back. When he noticed that you were comfortable with it, he tried putting a little pressure to pull you closer and you went with the flow. You leaned into him, with your head on his shoulder, as one of his arms was around you. You both needed the warmth anyways as you were freezing. It was silent for a bit before you decided to speak up.

"My science teacher molested me." You said breathily. His eyes widened as he tried pulling away from you. With this new bit of information, he realized that the close proximity of you two could be making you nervous. He wasn't able to pull away though since your back was flush against the back of the seat, and you didn't seem too uncomfortable so he decided to keep it there. He rubbed your back up and down urging you to continue.

"I don't- I'm not sure what I did wrong. I disproved the experiment instead of verifying it and he got mad." You paused and took in a shaky breath of air. At this point, your voice sounded pathetically weak and vulnerable but you knew only Yunho could hear you since you were whispering to him, so you had nothing to worry about. He just let out a hum into your hair as you continued.

"He called me to stay after class the discuss the paper and I stayed. I fucking stayed. I stayed despite knowing his sleazy ass would try to pull something on me. After all the students left he called me over to his desk..." You stopped yourself off as you felt your voice wavering. At this point, Yunho could feel his stomach doing flips just thinking about the situation you were in. The fact that it seemed like you were blaming yourself made him feel even worse. Nonetheless, you continued.

"He grabbed my knee and then my thigh and when I told him to let go, he didn't. He even had the audacity to ask me whether I wanted to go further. When I said no, he- he said I would fail. This is all my fault, what the fuck is wrong with me." You let out breathily into Yunho's wet hoodie. His heart broke when he heard you blaming yourself, you couldn't be further from the truth.

"Hey, please don't blame yourself. You have no reason to blame yourself, Y/n. You put your heart into that essay and he didn't like it because his narrow-minded brain couldn't accept new ideas. Furthermore, I'm sure he only used it as an excuse to hurt you. I'm sure your essay was great, and please don't blame yourself for him touching you. What he did was wrong and is all his fault." He paused finally, a little breathless from rambling. You nodded thinking he was done, only for him to continue speaking.

"I'm going to give you my number... Feel free to call me after today, I want to help you. I want to help you speak your side and arrest your science teacher for he did to you" You mumbled a soft okay as you leaned deeper into his embrace.

"I shouldn't feel like this" You suddenly said. Yunho had assumed the conversation was over when you told him about your science teacher but regardless he was ready to listen, no matter what it was.

"Why?" He asked sincerely, ready to scold you again for putting yourself down for having emotions.

"I have loving parents. I study at a good school. I usually get decent grades. I have 2-3 friends who I talk to sometimes. My family can afford the resources I need to feel content. Then why the fuck do I feel like this?" You asked more to yourself than Yunho and he knew this, but he had an answer.

"So?" He countered, waiting for a reaction from you but you had none.

"Even the most privileged people are not happy hun. Satisfaction and content come from within. You may have everything you need but still not feel satisfied with yourself. Is there anything about yourself that is bothering you?" He asked and you furrowed your eyebrows. What he was saying made a lot of sense...

"You- I-, I guess... I feel stressed all the time, and I'm not happy with the work I produce since I'm stressed and overwhelmed, but how did you know-"

"How do I know?" He interrupted you while you looked at him with wide eyes.

"Because I've felt the exact same way a few years ago." Now it was your turn to be shocked.

"I'm training to be an idol and I spent countless nights practicing my dancing and singing, but I never felt happy with my skills. I always thought I could get better, and that led to a sort of addiction. I stayed up late at our studio practicing and my sleep schedule was fucked up." You chuckled breathily at his word choice and how he let a curse word slip in. He noticed and smiled back down at you.

"When I finally understood and accepted the problem I got better. My mental health took a turn for the better and I was more proud of my accomplishments. Besides, I consider myself a decent singer now" He laughed at the end as you joined him.

"I'm proud of you for reaching your goal and bettering yourself," You said honestly as you patted his chest.

"I just hope I can fix myself one day too." You said honestly.

"I'm sure you will be able to. It takes time and perseverance, so please never give up. You're a beautiful, talented, and valuable person, never doubt yourself." He said and you nodded in his embrace.

That's where the conversation ended for now. The silence was not awkward at all. Instead, it was quite comforting as you had a lot to think about and process. Yunho's words definitely shifted the way you looked at life.

Yunho got a little more confident and trailed his arm upwards of your back and into your wet hair. He ran his hands through your wet hair as you scooted closer to him. He gently rubbed his hands across your scalp relaxing you. Despite him being a stranger, from the way he listened to you, saved your life, and comforted you, you knew he was someone you could trust.

Meanwhile, the boy in the front, Hongjoong looked through the rear mirror, looking at the position you and Yunho were in. He and Yunho suddenly made eye contact through the mirror, and Yunho got nervous, his eyes widening as he realized his leader had seen the position he was in, but that went away as he realized Hongjoong was smiling back at him with a soft smile across his face.

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Unknowingly, you had fallen asleep in Yunho's arms. When Hongjoong realized you fell asleep he patted Seonghwa's shoulder pointing to the two of you. You had fallen asleep on Yunho's shoulder, resting your head against it, while his head was on top of yours, also asleep. Seonghwa almost squealed when he saw the position you were in. They exchanged a few knowing looks before you finally arrived at your stop.

Yunho woke up before you and you were awoken by a messy-haired, still sleepy but smiley Yunho, ushering you to go outside. You got up, rubbing at your eyes as you looked around. You realized you were still in the car with all of the boys looking at you. You got embarrassed and quickly fixed yourself before shooting a confused look at Yunho. Suddenly, the man driving, Wooyoung, spoke up.

"I dare you and Yunho to go to 7/11 to get us snackssss" He playfully said and you smiled.

"Don't forget to get yourself a new pair of clothes too, you're soaking wet and probably cold. Although, I don't think that was much of a problem considering you were practically on top of eachoth- OOF" Seonghwa was cut off but Yunho roughly shoving his side. For the first time in the past week, you let out a genuine laugh and all the boys turned to look at you, as you bent over in laughter. Their eyes widened and Yunho swore it was the most melodious sound he had ever heard.

Feeling empowered and having a new perspective on life, you decided to go with the flow. Besides, you were given a second chance at life, you weren't going to waste it, moping around. You decided to make a change, and that change started today.

"Well big boy, are you coming with me or not?"

[theredsuzuran]

Yandere Muzan x Reader

I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors, also for my crappy writing I hope It does not bore you lol. Slight mention of gore

It was the time of summer

A multitude of people hovering over one another in the vast space of the lively Asakusa city occupying the streets like tiny ants. Unfortunately it was same monotonous sight for kibutsuji Muzan progenitor of the morbid demon race, who seems to be roaming around uninterestingly looking for a suitable prey to hunt. The fleeting lives of mortals, their compassion, happiness, sorrow, pain held no value to him. They are pests who belong in the dirt or beneath his feet, inferior compare to a perfect being like himself. Nothing more than a tool that he won't hesitate to discard after his desires are fulfilled. All of a sudden his gaze felt upon a petite figure near a tailor shop, a large number of people gathering around her.

What's the matter, mister? Muzan inquired to a man next to him.

"if you are new definitely try her kimonos, now make way" the man said quickly as he rushed to the shop pushing all the people away. He was interested to know what the deal was about so he decided to stay for a while hoping it's worth the wait.

After a long delay muzan finally got the chance to view the women. As their eyes locked the dazzling city lights broader than the day itself felt dull in comparison for a moment, the once monochromatic world seems to change vibrantly with her luminous presence, As if goddess Amaterasu, the diety of sun herself have ascended from the heaven into the mortal realm. The demon lord stood there mesmerized by her breathtaking beauty, how can someone so close to perfection exist alongside those barbarians.

"How can I help you mister?" She questioned politely with her soft vocal. His endless thoughts were interrupted breaking the silence.

"Show me your kimonos"

And so his obsession started..

Days passed since his last encounter with the woman. He have come across numerous marvelous humans in everlasting lengthy life but never have his ruby eyes caught a glimpse of someone as alluring as her. The girl possesses an unique aura that differentiated her from the rest of the crowd, able to draw attention from the cold hearted creator of cannibalistic demons. At first muzan was just curious to know about that woman, possibly persuade her to become one of his underling because of the potentials she may carry. He frequently begun to visit her shop to but or sew different fabrics. Gaining basic information, like her name, likes and dislikes, etc. Her grandfather owned the tailor shop which sold finest quality garments from the beginning and were highly respected for their excellent tailoring. Continued by (y/n) at her family's will, who runs the shop with equal undying devotion.

She treated him with such kindness even though he was a ruthless demon not that she knew about it or let alone the existence of demons. The deepest corner of his dark heart illuminated with pure light whenever she was around and he came to the conclusion that she was the ray of sunshine he desires to perceive. Eversince he was cured from his fatal illness the only goal in his life was to conquer the sun which prevents him to achieve absolute perfection, in order to live an eternal and indestructible life or so he thought until that very day his eyes laid upon you. It would be stupid to think that demons are capable of experiencing love, concepts of feelings are completely foreign in their conciousness, it was more like obsession. His megalomania makes him believe he needs you no he wants you.

Alas, if only it was a fairytale. The king does not always gets what he desires and same goes for the demon lord when he finds out that his beloved darling already has a lover. As he witnessed the sight of you hugging your partner with passion. The way her eyes flutter infront of him when he caresses her cheeks making her turn away bashfully and how she hold his hand with her delicate ones while exchanging vows of love and loyalty towards each other made his blood boiled with fury. If anyone who can hold her fragile frame is none other but the demon lord himself yet there she was sharing intimacy with some filthy creature. His narcissistic self was put down with a lowlife, he cannot accept that his (y/n) was claimed someone else's. It was something he would never allow to happen.

"Kibutsuji san would you like to buy something today as well?" The women who now acknowledge his presence asked him cheerfully.

"Should I visit you later" a force smile graced on his pale features.

"Oh no, it's fine, let me introduce you to my fiancee" she said excitedly.

"Nice to meet you kibutsuji san" your fiancee said

"Pleasure to meet you as well" The demon scoffed under his breath but Kibutsuji was quite adamant he knew it was not hard to turn the tables anytime sooner as with a blink of an eye he can get rid of him by simply ordering his underlings without even hesitating to dirty his hands exclusive for his precious darling. But that was not what muzan was planning to do at all as his mind was engulfed with much sinister thoughts.

To insanity?

"You have been restless for a long time, what's wrong my child?" A man asked with a look of concern written all over his face looking straight at the figure of an anxious woman roaming around impatiently within the house.

"Its been a week father since he last wrote a letter to him" she mumbled softly disappointment painted across her features. The father could not help but laugh a little by her daughter's remark.

"Father please it is serious"

"I am sorry sweetheart but it might be that your fiancee is busy with wedding preparation" which made sense because the wedding would be taking place after three day and it was obvious that he was caught up with the arrangement. However there was a strange feeling inside her stomach which made her believe otherwise.

As the days passed the wedding day came close, with (y/n) still not receiving any message from her lover. Worried her to the core at this point all she wanted was to make sure of his safety as something constantly felt off. The guests came in one by one for the wedding ceremony but there was no sign of the groom.

It was getting unbearable for her to remain confined. Ignoring her father's request to stay inside she went outside in hope to check whether or not her lover was approaching but once again she was greeted with emptiness. Her eyes swell up with tears forming on both corners allowing her body to slowly hit the surface as she convinced herself that her lover will never come. The worst was yet to happen and before she could make any movement the ground beneath her feet started shaking and a shoji door opened consuming her into the darkness.

It was just the start of her miserable life under the demon's control.

"So you are finally awake", a sudden voice came echoing into her eyes as she slowly opened her eyes after regaining her consciousness. She moved her hands upwards in order to ease the headache only to find her hands tied up with shackles, a chilling sensation of overwhelming fear filled her entire senses as she remembered what happened prior.

"Where am I? Why am I chained?" Who are you?" she demanded furiously at the mysterious figure infront her which was now advancing at her direction from the dark corner of the dimly litted room.

"You are quite an impatient one?" The man gripped her chin roughly as her eyes protruded out with bewilderment.

"Can't even remember your daily customer?" A wicked smile curved across his countenance.

"K..Kibutsuji san" she parted her lips. Tears forming in her eyes once again. This made muzan even more irritated as he tightened his grip on her chin. (Y/n) whimpered with pain crying out loud.

"Your shouting won't help dear nobody apart from me can hear you scream" he said bluntly with his cold apathetic voice.

"Why?" (Y/n) lowered her head down holding his hand with her delicate ones trying her best to get a hold of him.

"Pardon?" Muzan inquired as he stared at your quivering form with his souless eyes there was no empathy in them or whatsoever although he felt pity. He cannot deny the fact that he was indeed attracted to her that's the reason why he put her into so much hassles.

"Where is my lover?" She asked sternly with her voice shaking a bit.

"Oh" muzan responded his hand still holding her chin tightly. This made her even more anxious she was unaware of the power he might possess and definitely she didn't had any intentions to risk her life.

"Why can't you humans move on and accept circumstances given before you?" it startled her as she cannot process what he meant.

"I don't.. u..understand" she said.

"Then you have to learn to accept me as your partner" muzan replied coldly (y/n) sat there looking at him with disbelief her heart and soul belonged to someone else and for a long time they have been together it's absolutely impossible to change the reality she was accustomed with just because some maniac wants to make her his partner.

"I can never" she murmured with disgust hinted in her voice. "I love him" throwing daggers in his direction not ready to submit her futile attempts of protest should pissed the demon lord even more but to her surprise she saw him smiling menacingly and in the corner of her eyes she saw the figure of her debilitate lover.

"Start from his fingers" muzan ordered one of his subordinate as they began chopping one of his finger making him scream in pain.

"No! please don't hurt him" trying to break free from the shackles she was tied with realizing it was fruitless she fell on the demon's knee begging with all the strength left within her in a last desperate attempt.

"You left me with no other choice, dear" he explained playing his sick games of manipulation on her. This was exactly what he needed to break her mind and she cannot help but rely on him pleading for his forgiveness feeding on his massive ego providing him ultimate satisfaction to witness the quivering frame of his darling clinging onto his knee in pure submission.

"Please I will do anything you say" she requested shaking like crazy.

"Anything?" Muzan questioned raising his eyebrow

"Yes" she replied without any hesitation.

"Be mine"

She already knew that he wanted this and she readily obliged in order to save her beloved, sacrificing her own life. Her only purpose was now to satisfy the demon lord, he was successful until the very end and it won't take long to make her completely his.

[dolliedarlin]

a love like rodger and jessica ⏤denki k.

s u m m a r y : You and Denki have a love like Rodger and Jessica Rabbit

l e n g t h : 2k

g e n r e : fluff ; praises ; body worship ; supportive kaminari ; best boi kaminari ; precious baby 

w a r n i n g s : mentions of lovemaking

p a i r i n g s : denki k x f.reader

a / n : this is a quick little headcanon I came up with at three am and needed to get out as soon as possible before I lose the will to write it. I hope you all enjoy the read! Feel free to comment and like - tell me what you think, constructive criticism is always welcome.

❥ You're a self-made millionaire, CEO of a successful skincare and beauty company, investor and supermodel. The level of success you've been able to accumulate over the years is nothing to sneeze at, especially with your young age of 21.

❥ However, you draw more eyes for your beauty and body rather than your accomplishments. It's rather annoying but you've grown used to it.

❥ It isn't a lie that you're as stunning as they come. And with a body that elicits lust and unspeakable fantasies in the men and women around you, it can be said that your beauty has more power than what any of your achievements could ever provide you with.

❥ It's disappointing how you've worked so hard but still seem to achieve so little despite the empire you've built from the ground up.

❥ You've turned many young and handsome, accomplished men down, no longer your naive self. Even with their own triumphs and wealth, you can see their true intentions when looking into their greedy eyes.

❥ They only want you for your body and only regard you with contempt - there was no love, there was no honesty, they never did anything to make you feel comfortable or smile.

❥ That was all you wanted.

❥ But, perhaps, it's too childish to think about such things now.

❥ You had given up all hope and with that loss of hope came a hardened shell that nobody could break. Deep inside your heart, you still wished for a fairy tale romance and a happy life where you could smile freely and be comfortable, which is why your piercing glare, harsh demeanor and cold speech manifested in defense of those desires.

❥ It was a normal day at work; you had several meetings to attend concerning collaborations with other brands in the morning before you needed to head off to attend a photoshoot for a magazine concerning skincare.

❥ You had just been on your way to said photoshoot, in fact, when a villain attack hastily painted an image of red and blue lights, panic, destruction, and screaming people before you.

❥ Upon realizing that you were in the line of attack, you rushed to exit your car. You have been a victim of your own clumsiness many times in the past despite their rare occurrence, but ill-luck had you tripping over in your attempt to flee, causing a stinging pain to shoot up your right leg.

❥ With your back turned and crumbled to the floor in pain, you became an easy target and didn't register the careless attack directed towards you until you heard a shout of warning.

❥ "Woah! Watch it, lady!"

❥ Behind you was the Stun Gun Hero himself: Chargebolt! You had never interacted with heroes but you greatly admired their work, heroism, and sense of justice. Keeping the peace and putting villains in jail brought on a sense of security that you never took for granted. However, you had never been more grateful for their presence than that moment.

❥ "Hurry and run away!" at his command, you attempted to stand and run off but instead was painfully reminded that during your fall, you had managed to sprain your ankle.

❥ What terrible luck.

❥ "I-I can't-" you almost sob, hating how powerless you were feeling in that moment, "I think I sprained my ankle,"

❥ You heard him mutter a curse before shouting at the other heroes on-site to cover him whereby he then took the chance to rush in carrying you in his arms and run to safety.

❥ "P-please be careful," you plea, worried about his welfare as you wrap your arms around his neck for security.

❥ "Don't worry about it!" he flashes you a toothy grin, "Just hold on tight and I'll get you somewhere safe! You can count on me!" for once in your life, even though you were still in a dangerous setting, you felt comfortable and safe.

❥ In this stranger's arms, you felt protected - it was a wonderful feeling. It made you lean even closer into him, catching a whiff of his husky scent combined with his sweat. What a pleasant aroma.

❥ Maybe you should make a perfume inspired by it and have him model in the commercial?

❥ This wasn't like you, you're embarrassed to admit. Even though you're in danger, you would still do anything to keep him close to you or see him again. You weren't some lovestruck school girl, you needed to get a hold of yourself!

❥ Finally at a safe place, he set you down as he panted heavily, "Damn, I need to get better at cardio," huffing out a breath, he checked you over, "you alright?"

❥ "Other than the ankle, I'm good," you smiled up at him, trying to convey your gratefulness.

❥ "Great! The ambulance will be here soon for any casualties so-..." he pauses. In the heat of the moment, his priority had been your safety and so he hadn't really taken the time to look at you, really look at you, and see how beautiful you were. Now that he had caught his breath, and began to process that he had carried a beauty in his arms, who was now smiling up at him, a dangerous heat crawled up his neck and blew steam out of his ears.

❥ "A-are you okay?!" had he been hit by something while he was carrying you off?

❥ "So beautiful..." he muttered, continuing to stare at you, your face, your body, even straining his ears to better hear your sultry voice.

❥ "What was that?" with a tilt of your head, Kaminari had to turn his gaze away so as not to get even more flustered and possibly die from too much blood rushing to his head. Beautiful and cute - a dangerous combination to have in a woman. He could fall to his knees and submit to you right then and there, shamelessly. It took everything in him to hold back.

❥ "Y-you're just really beautiful, sorry."

❥ For once in your life, someone was being honest with you. Yes, many people have called you beautiful but their reactions were never as raw or red as the hero standing before you. It was amusing and made you want to keep him close.

❥ "Thank you..." you had to say, he was pretty easy on the eyes as well, "you are also very handsome,"

❥ "Why thank you, pretty lady~" he sent you a playful wink which made you giggle, only spurring the male to continue his flirtatious act. It might have been out of habit or maybe it was a defense mechanism since he's never come across someone so beautiful before, either way, he was already dropping another cheesy pick up like before he realized what he was doing, "but, you know, you're very pretty and I'm cute..."

❥ "Hmm?~" you raised a brow, where was he going with this?

❥ "Together, we'd be pretty cute,"

❥ You didn't mean to offend him but you laughed and laughed and laughed, not realizing how his once grinning face had turned downcast and flourished red with embarrassment.

❥ "You have a point there," you giggled, catching the male off guard and almost making him self-combust, "whatever shall I do?~" you ponder aloud, looking at him with a twinkle in your eye.

❥ "Well...it just so happens that I'm writing a phone book," time to shoot his shot, "can I have your number?

❥ "Of course, you can~"

❥ Meeting Denki was a blessing in your life.

❥ He's a goofball with a heart of gold that was always getting overlooked by women, as he's told you on one of your many dates together.

❥ "It's their loss," you hum as you cuddle up into his side, his arm laying across your shoulders, "because you're mine now~"

❥ Truly, he was your ideal man.

❥ He never took you for granted, he was always honest, he praised you and worshipped you like a goddess and he made you feel loved and comfortable being yourself, which is what mattered above all else.

❥ In return, you were his ideal woman.

❥ You freely loved him for who he was, when people told you you deserved better than him, you shut them down quicker than a lightning strike, you actually liked his cheesy pickup lines and flirted right back. The achievements he's been able to get as a hero, you still praised no matter how small, as if he was the number one hero himself - you would even go so far as to say that he's your number one in everything. And, for a bonus, you were the beauty amoungst all beauties!

❥ All those rejections, all the insecurities he had to go through by being rejected by multiple women was all worth it because now he had you in his life.

❥ "Where have you been all my life, Denki? How did I ever live without you?" you sighed into the crook of his neck, straddling his lap as he hugged your waist and gave you a kiss on the temple.

❥ "Babe, that's my line," he chuckled.

❥ At first, he was always so flustered around you but over time, he's grown a reasonable amount of immunity. That didn't mean he stopped praising you for your achievements or worshipping your body whenever you were in bed together, however. He still did all those things.

❥ If others praise you, he didn't stop them because he knows you deserve all the praise but when he found out that you didn't take their words to heart like you did his and explained why, he made sure to be off patrol that night and kept you with him between the sheets until sunrise. For hours, he worshipped your body like a temple made of gold. Between kisses and gasping breaths, he applauded you for your achievements and assured you of all flaws you saw in yourself.

❥ That night you realised the true meaning of 'making love'.

❥ In hero awarding events, you'd accompany him dressed elegantly, with your hair and makeup done and smelling as intoxicating as you looked.

❥ "DEnKi How DArE YOuUuu!" his close friend, Mineta (you think it was), sobbed at the sight of you and him together on the red carpet as a couple. Even though they were friends, Kaminari instantly stood in front of you so as to shield you away from Mineta's perverted gaze.

❥ "Thank you, Darling~" you cooed, giving your blonde hero a kiss on the back of the neck before nuzzling in between his shoulder blades.

❥ On the outside, Denki allowed himself to grin and pull you into his arms with a cool air about him, seemingly unaffected by your actions but you knew him better than that. It was only because cameras were around and he needed to keep up his image. Inside, he was melting into a puddle of goo and you know it. He, very well, could've brushed you aside to appear better like all the other men you unfortunately dated before but, instead, he makes you feel special and loved.

❥ "I know I'm the luckiest guy in the world but please be more respectful Mineta," his arms tighten around you securely, shielding your curves from prying eyes. Appreciating the gesture, you turn his face to capture him in a kiss. It's a kiss that still makes his knees weak even after months of dating.

❥ "Let's go to our seats, dear," you lead the blonde away by the tie, knowing how your kisses can sometimes leave him releasing small bolts of electricity from his palms and fingertips. It was cute how a simple kiss could turn him as dumb as he was when he overused his quirk would, only in a slightly different way.

❥ Vice versa, whenever you had a big company party or event, Denki always made it so that he could attend the event with you. He wanted to be there to protect you and shut the men down who tried to approach you with ill intentions.

❥ With your human Pikachu around, you came to love going to events. It was a time where you could dress up just for him and eventually get undressed by him the moment you arrived home.

❥ Endless praises, endless love, endless comfort, endless laughter. That was what it felt like to be with Denki.

❥ He was your Rodger and you were his Jessica

bnha mlist . 

[writerbyaccident]

The Devil You Know (Yandere Katsuki BakugouxReader)

Request: How about Aizawa, discovers a young adult Bakugo is a Yandere and kidnapped a missing student from U.A. class 1-C when he was teenager. It’s a huge confrontation with police, Aizawa, and other pro heroes break down the door to arrest Bakugo. The reader has been waiting for this moment for so long but Bakugo in handcuffs with this defeated yet heartbroken look, is too much. So the reader rushes to Bakugo’s side, clinging onto him, begging not to take him away because she loves him.

So I may have changed things a bit, but here’s to a…happy ending?

           The day had started off like any other: you woke up with Bakugou’s arms around you, ate breakfast with him, and kissed him goodbye as he locked you in the bedroom before he left for work. It was a simple routine, one that you had long since grown used to, and one that you despised. You despised how you were forced to do the same thing each day, despised how most of your day was spent locked in one room, but most of all you despised how normal it all had become to you. Bakugou had kidnapped you when you were both still students at UA, though you were in the general studies course. You had known the explosive young hero of course, or at least had known of him, but when you had woken up in the apartment he had secretly obtained, his was not the face you had expected to see.

Several years had passed since then, and now Bakugou was finally moving up the pro hero ranks. He had bought a house about two years ago, one that he was careful to make sure was secure and isolated, bringing you there while you were unconscious from sleeping pills he had given you. Every day in that house was the same, to the point that you actually looked forward to the weekend. Sure, those days meant that you had to spend even more time with Bakugou, but you would take that over being trapped alone in the bedroom any day. Despite everything he had done to you, Bakugou’s company was better than no company at all. At least when he was with you, you were allowed to do things you wouldn’t be otherwise. On the weekends Bakugou would let you use the computer (with strict supervision, of course) and even go on walks with you. They were small luxuries to be sure, but still ones that you were grateful for.

As the day continued to go by, you tried your best to entertain yourself while your captor was gone. You opened up a book, popped in a movie, even tried to write but soon after you began each activity, you grew bored and restless, choosing to move on to something else. At first you weren’t sure what the problem was, but once you had given up on trying to distract yourself and instead laid down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, you recognized what you were feeling. Dear god, you were lonely. You missed Bakugou. This wasn’t simply a desire to be diverted away from your situation, or even the need to be with another human being, it was longing for him specifically. That realization sent you shooting up from your place on the bed, running your fingers through your hair and pacing in distress.

It couldn’t be true, could it? You had lasted so long, tried so hard to keep Bakugou from getting to you, constantly reminding yourself of what he had done whenever he did something nice. Yet when you thought of him, of him coming home and being with you, you couldn’t help the warmth that swelled in your heart. Hands shaking and tears pooling in your eyes, you thought back on the last few months. You hadn’t realized before, but now you could see that you had been acting different recently. Not only had you been fighting far less, but you rarely even snapped at Bakugou anymore. As your animosity towards Bakugou had faded, you had begun to settle into a kind of peace with him, which only served to further decrease your resentment and increase the sense of comfort you now found in him.

           With this new revelation, you were unsure of how to react. Should you give into your newfound feelings? No, even with this development, the thought of submitting fully to the man who had kidnapped you still sat ill with you. But on the other hand, if you began fighting again or attempted to escape, you knew that it wouldn’t go well for you. After running through your options, you eventually determined that all you could really do for the moment was wait: wait to see if these emotions disappeared, wait to see if they continued to grow, wait to see if a chance to escape would present itself. Your conclusion was in no way satisfying, but you failed to see another viable option. Soon enough you were back to trying to distract yourself, making more progress on your book now that you had organized your thoughts a little bit. Sure, your stomach continued to churn somewhat, but you forced yourself to ignore it.

           Time seemed to drag on as you waited for Bakugou to come home, and as the sky grew dark, you grew more anxious. Pausing the movie you were watching for a moment, you strained your ears carefully. You couldn’t be sure, but you had thought that you heard the sound of creaking floorboards coming from the hallway. A minute passed, and you were just about to dismiss the noise when you heard it again. Maybe Bakugou had come home early to surprise you? But no, you knew what Bakugou sounded like, even on the rare occasions when he was trying to be quiet, and this wasn’t it. Slowly, you reached over to the nightstand, took the shade off of the lamp, and unscrewed the light bulb. Pulling the plug from its outlet, you slipped off the bed and hoisted the lamp over your shoulder, holding it like a baseball bat. From the other side of the door, you could hear someone fiddle with the lock. As the lock clicked and the door slid open, you prepared yourself for the worst.

           What you did not prepare yourself for, however, was for the face you saw on the other side of the door to be a familiar one, especially one that didn’t belong to Bakugou. Instead, Shouta Aizawa stood before you, a touch more gray in the hair and just a little bit wrinkled in the face, but it was him, with the signature bags under his eyes and trademark capture weapon around his neck. Dropping the lamp in shock, you stared at him with disbelieving eyes. But the strangest part wasn’t that Aizawa was here, but that you saw your doubt reflected in his own eyes.

           “Oh God,” he whispered, whether to you or to himself you weren’t sure, “I didn’t want to believe it. I knew and I still I hoped it wasn’t true.”

           “What—what’s going on?” At the sound of your voice, Aizawa stepped into the room, reaching over and laying a gentle hand on your arm, either ignoring or not noticing how you flinched at his touch.

           “I’m so sorry. I know I can never make it right, but I’m so sorry.”

           “What are you sorry for?” you asked, genuinely confused.

           “I’m sorry for not seeing what Bakugou had become, I’m sorry for not putting the pieces together, I’m sorry for not finding you sooner. You may not have been in my class, but you were still one of my students, and I failed you.”

           “I—” you began, not knowing what to say. An incomprehensible knot of emotions rose past your chest and into your throat, settling there and blocking the air you were trying so desperately to secure. Aizawa seemed to sense your distress and began to rub reassuring circles into your arm with his thumb. Despite the soothing quality of the gesture though, you winced at the sensation, the contact feeling somehow wrong.

           “It’s alright,” he said. “We’re going to get you out of here.”

           “We?”

           “The police and I, they’re just a few minutes away. They sent me ahead so you won’t get hurt while they arrest Bakugou.”

           “They—they’re going to arrest him?” You weren’t sure why you were so surprised, not even pro heroes were above the law, after all. But the thought of Bakugou, restrained by either quirk-nullifying handcuffs or Aizawa’s scarf, being led into a police vehicle, just didn’t seem right.

           “Yes,” Aizawa replied solemnly. “He’s going to be taken away where he can’t get to you anymore.” Mind and heart still trying to accept the situation, you hardly even noticed as Aizawa grasped your hand and led you out of the room. Guiding you past the rooms that you had grown so familiar with, the place that—like it or not—had become your home, Aizawa failed to see the way your brow was furrowing or the way you were chewing the inside of your cheek. Instead, he simply led you over to the backdoor, which stood open and waiting. Just as you were about to cross the threshold though, you heard the front door being unlocked.

           Freezing in place, familiar footsteps reached your ears, loud and unapologetic as always. Soon though, you heard them falter, their owner no doubt sensing that something was wrong. The footsteps suddenly grew louder and more frantic, rushing through the halls until they entered the area where both you and Aizawa still stood. Bakugou had to take a moment to process the sight that was displayed before him, his heart refusing to believe that things could have gotten so completely fucked. Seeing Aizawa in his home, the sanctuary Bakugou had built for the two of you, was bad enough, but what really pierced his heart was the fact that you were holding his former teacher’s hand. That, more than anything else could ever be, was what cut him where he stood. After all this time, after how he had proven his love for you time and time again, you still were going to leave him? He love for you went deeper than you ever could know, it had etched itself into his bones, so when he saw this ultimate betrayal, all he could do was fall to his knees.

           Without even the slightest hesitation, Aizawa launched his capture weapon at Bakugou, wrapping it so tightly around him that Bakugou couldn’t have fought back even if Aizawa hadn’t erased his quirk. All he could do as Aizawa approached his incapacitated body was stare at you. His eyes bore into you relentlessly, unable to look away, and you found yourself responding in kind. In spite of all the hope you had carried with throughout the years for something just like this to happen, cracks began to form along your bones, behind your eyes, and deep within the core of your heart. For now that you finally thought on it, what was left for you out there? What was freedom compared to someone who loved you so completely? The mere thought of life without Bakugou sent a wave of panic crashing over you; you were unable to comprehend such an existence. Bakugou had spent so long trying to show you that he was all that you needed, and now it seemed that his lesson had finally sunk in. So as Aizawa let go of your hand and continued to walk towards the man you had once sworn to hate forever, you slid over to the table where a tall glass vase stood. Not even stopping to think, you crashed it over the head of your would-be rescuer, immediately sending him falling down in to unconsciousness. The scarf slackening around Bakugou, he stood back up and wrapped his arms around your waist.

           “I’m—I’m sorry,” you stammered. But to your surprise, Bakugou just smiled at you.

           “It’s okay,” he responded, his voice rough with relief and some still-remaining fear. “You were just confused, weren’t you? Aizawa tried to mess with your head, but it didn’t work. You did the right thing, and I am so fucking proud of you.” Even through the haze of disquiet that still surrounded you, Bakugou’s words were able to reach you, helping you grow calm as a twisted sort of pride climbed through you. “Now c’mon, we need to get out of here.”

           Letting Bakugou take your hand, you followed as he led you out the backdoor.

[meiwroo]

Omfg please you write for FMA?? Ooo I have so many ideas. I feel like Hughes could easily be yandere. But my love for Olivier Armstrong is winning out. After all Briggs is the safest place to keep the girl of her dreams safe ( and trapped)

Originally, I was just going to respond with a small informal hc that was about Olivier, but then it turned into this……I’m sorry really

Olivier Mira Armstrong

Would punish you in front of all her men, then yell, “Everyone continue working” as if nothing happened.

Hive mind + her men are loyal so don’t expect a single person to help you escape

“Nothing gets in or out of Briggs without my say!” 

“If you want to escape me so bad, then die!”

Punishments are brutal

Tossed out into the cold w/o proper clothing

No food when you piss her off

But still a Protective! Yandere

Consider anyone that tries to harm you dead

Best chance to escape would be while the fortress is in disarray. So, during that time when Sloth shows up would be great

Maes Hughes

“Hey princess don’t be like that! We’re supposed to be a happy family remember?”

“Ah, are you upset because I’ve been neglecting you? Let poppa bear make it up to you.”

“…Y/N, stop acting so spoiled before I give you a reason to pout.”

Acts foolish, but you know he’s calculating

Breeding kink? && absolutely ecstatic when he finds out you’re pregnant

“Look what I got for the baby Y/N! Are you excited?!”

Lying to Mustang that you’re ill whenever he’s over for dinner and you try to ask for help

Goofy boi

Good at buttering you up

Solf J. Kimblee

“It’s simple Y/N, submit to me. There’s nowhere you can run.”

“I’m not a bad man Y/N; I’m reasonable. I’ll treat you gently.”

“Well, well, your tone changes once your family is threatened. Now, come here.”

Has the resources, the connects—the power, not to mention he’s merciless

“Just a second, there’s something I need to take care of. The guy was looking at you.”

Gluttony

“Y/N-chan are you done? Are you done? If you keep being bad, can I eat you?”

“Hey, Y/N-chan do you like him? Then I’ll eat him.”

“Cheer up Y/N-chan I brought the cake you like; Let’s eat it together.”

Spankings as punishments 

Treats you more like a pet than a lover

“Y?N-chan, I don’t want to play hide and seek right now; Won’t you come out? I’m hungry…I can smell you, you know…”

“F o u n d  Y o u; Come here!”

Sloppy kisses

Great hugs

An absolute idiot, but would keep you warm and fed; Mainly relying on Lust’s daily visits to remind Gluttony that he has to care for you properly

Tricking him is easy, but running away is harder

“Y/N-chan THAT WAS A MEAN TRICK. COME BACK HERE SO I CAN PUNISH YOU!”

“If I eat you, then we can be together forever.”

Greed

Possessive Yandere

“You think you’re going to beat me Y/N, escape me, with my ultimate shield and my advanced healing powers? I wasn’t kidding when I told you Y/N you’re mine, try all you like, but you won’t win.

“Oi oi, how long do you wan’t to drag this out. This’d be much easier if you’d just accept me already.”

“I get what I want Y/N, my avaricious holds no bounds, and right now I want you in bed; Strip.”

Envy

“I knew it! You’re crying expression is the best Y/N! Go ahead, cry some more! Think about your family, your friends, how they’ll plead for their life when gobble them! Leave me and I’ll set your village in flames.”

“Ho ho~. Have you realized it yet? That it’s in your best interest to stop resisting? But don’t worry D A R L I N G. I’ll take good care of you.”

“Do you hate me? Do you hate me? Mhm? Then do something about it. Oh wait, you’re powerless aren’t you Y/N.”

Wouldn’t be able to deal with a catatonic s/o

“Ah, really? Giving up already? Pathetic…”

Would definitely dispose of them

Lots of taunting/baiting

Gets what he wants from his s/o using underhanded tricks

Decided to harass his s/o and make them his after they helped him one day

No good deed goes unpunished?

“Ah, you’ve been quiet lately? Should I reward you tonight? Let you ride my face?”

Lust

Wouldn’t mind keeping you in a cramped cage as punishment

“Oh my, making a scene again Y/N?”

“It appears that our little Y/N has escaped. Would you mind helping me Gluttony? I’ll let you eat whoever’s helping her.”

Wouldn’t mind a broken s/o that she drags along like a glorified pet—leads you by a chain and collar something akin to Arbitro and Kau’s relationship (from Togainu No Chi)

“Well, someone’s been good lately. What’s say we go for a long walk?”

Merciless (worse than Olivier and Kimblee)

Pride

Content with watching you, after all nothing is going to get pass his watchful gaze

No kidnapping required unless you try to escape from him

“Humans are so stupid…”

Haughty smiles

Would pose as a normal child from the neighborhood and stalk you that way

Anyone he deems a threat will be quickly neutralized even if it’s right in front of your eyes

Sloth

“What was I doing again…?”

“Oh, I remember now. I need to punish Y/N.”

“Running away? Troublesome. But life without Y/N is also troublesome.”

“Have to…find…Y/N…”

Would break your legs just to stop you from continuously escaping

If you manage to escape, you actually have a good bit of time before he finds you b/c Sloth falls asleep frequently && is really slow. 

Lightening fast. Try to escape right in front of him and he’ll immediately catch you

“What…are…you…doing Y/N?”

Ferra and Torr vibes tbh

Relatively easy yandere

Mainly looks and on occasion touches

“Come…here…”

Gentle despite his size (unlike Gluttony)

Wrath

“Hooooo, let’s have a wager then? I’ll even be so generous to give you a 10-minute head start. However, if I catch you before the little hand strikes 3, then you’ll be spending the next week in the basement. [Maybe then you’ll appreciate how good you have it.] So how about it Y/N? Do you think you can escape me?”

Finds you fighting back amusing

“Is that all you got dear?”

Being known as the King’s wife who’s gravely ill who spends most of her time bedridden (explains why nobody ever sees her)

Your cooporation will be rewarded in extravagant gifts and grand trips

Patronizing

But he doesn’t underestimate you

Enjoys a game of cat and mouse

“I’m looking forward to your next attempt. Don’t disappoint me.”

Daddy Dom in bed

Loves taking off his eye patch at night

“Bend over Y/N…I said bend over.”

[myhero-myfanfic]

Hi! I’m in the mood for something angsty. So may I have a scenario with Toshinori Yagi and his fem!s/o with a happy ending based on this prompt - “

You become a writer and your series of novels become extremely popular, but what they don’t know is that you’re retelling your previous life where certain circumstances made it so you and your soulmate did not end up together but your soulmate promises to be with you the next lifetime. At a book signing you open the book cover of a fan’s copy to see something written on the front page: “I’m sorry I took so long.” 

Thank you <3

Sorry I had to send this through the submit box. The prompt was super long XD

For @todorokishochan!

This, uh… This got away from me. This is so much longer than it was supposed to be, but I honestly love this prompt. Hope you like it!

Italic parts are excerpts from the books (your past life) you wrote in this scenario!

The worst part about these signings had to be faking a smile the whole time. After this many books and this many meet-and-greets, you had all your cute and clever responses memorized. No question surprised you after years of doing this. It was the same repetitive conversation in same shabbily decorated book shops in the same small towns with the same hopeful, lovesick readers you had always had. Maybe you were cynical, but how could you not be? The books they fed on so greedily weren’t fiction- they were a reminder of your own loss. The soulmate you had known yet had to have.

Every day you searched online for others who remembered past lives with their soulmates, but you had yet to find a single other person. It seemed, for some reason, you had been cursed with knowing exactly what you had lost in your old life and had to know it alone.

When the men came to work on the west wing of the house, I made sure to keep mostly to my room. Mother had chastised me for trying to sneak a glance at the strangers as they began filtering in. She warned me that these men were ill-mannered, boorish, and undeserving of my time and attention. Considering their low status, it would be unbecoming for me to even speak to one of them. I did not believe a word of what she said, but I knew better than to fight against her.

It was an act of fate then, the day I ran into him. Even though I was taught to keep my eyes averted at all times, I couldn’t help but glance up at his face and the rest of the world just fell away. Mother’s prejudices were the last things on my mind when I looked into his blue, blue eyes and beheld his beautiful smile for the first time. I had finally found my soul mate, Toshinori Yagi.

“Where do you get your inspiration? Your site doesn’t say anything about you having a soulmate, but you write about it so… I mean, it feels so real!”

The first person to ask a question is very young and a bit too blunt for your taste, but you had also heard this question plenty of times before. Your publishing company had chosen to use that as a gimmick years ago- “the woman who has never loved or been loved, yet writes as if love itself is her lover!” You give her a regurgitated response about how you think about all the loving mated couples you had ever met and how they were your inspiration.

Except no one else could ever inspire you like he did. Like he still does. You had loved more than anyone else ever had.

We knew it was an awful idea, but we continued meeting in secret whenever we got the chance. My parents had to come around eventually- a soulmate is a soulmate. I would never belong to anyone else but him.

“My love…” He murmurs, pressing the back of my hand against his face. Long blonde strands brush my knuckles and I can’t help but shiver at the sensation. He’s so overwhelmingly beautiful as he gazes at me with pure adoration in those blue, blue eyes, and for a moment I am overcome with emotion. I don’t have to say a word- he’s already there, pulling me into an embrace that is everything but appropriate and whispering sweet words that float through the air like petals in the wind.

This is where I belong. Right here, with this man, drowning in his love for the rest of eternity…

“Why did you choose the ending you did?” This fan is older, with a slightly annoyed expression. “It’s so sad… I feel like no one would actually keep soulmates apart like that.”

You can’t help the deep intake of air, even though you’ve heard this before too. People need the happy ending, no matter what.

“Actually, it wasn’t uncommon for soulmates to be ignored if the girl’s parents found a more fitting suitor.” You somehow manage to keep most of the bitterness out of your voice.

“Please don’t do this father…” My tears had long since dried up. All that remained was a dry, empty desperation that bled through my words.

“It’s already done child. It is time to stop this game.” He turned to the love of my life, who was covered in bruises and barely had the strength to stand up on his own anymore. His blue, blue eyes were swollen shut and hidden away from me. “Leave and do not come back. This is done. You’ve disgraced my daughter enough.”

I cried out as my father’s friends dragged him out. He managed a single hoarse cry of my name before one of the men kicked him in the stomach. I felt the bile rise to my throat as I looked up at father and saw the lack of hope or love or regret. My soul had been sold by this devil, and not to its proper partner.

“What’s your name?” You smiled up at the young boy before you. He looked no older than fifteen, and seemed incredibly embarrassed to be getting your signature.

“Izuku…” He practically mumbled, and you chuckled quietly before writing him a little note. You added a heart to hopefully soothe his nerves, but that seemed to just worsen his blush.

He thanked you several times and went to walk away, but turned back the last second.

“You’re gonna find your soulmate, you know!” You blinked up at him, surprised by his little outburst.

“You’ll find him, and fall in love, because anybody who writes like this deserves it!” He stares at you intensely for a moment before seeming to remember himself, practically falling over as he runs away. Staring after him, you can’t help but compare his attitude to Toshinori’s. They would get along beautifully…

The fever took me quickly. My new husband- oh, how I hate the word - had called many doctors but no one had been able to help. We both knew the end was coming, and fast. Word traveled fast around the town and just like that, Toshi was back for me.

“I need to see her.”

“No, you need to leave.”

I could barely hear their voices through the thick fog invading my mind. I wanted to cry out to him, beg for my husband to let him in, but I had no strength left in me to give.

Suddenly, I hear a yell and a few loud clatters that echo through the house before the door to my chambers is thrown open and shut again. Then his hands are on me, cupping my face and brushing away my hair, holding me just as desperately as he did that night we stowed away in the abandoned wagon.

“Please no, no no… I can’t lose you.” I can feel his tears dripping onto my cheeks, and I’m so happy and devastated when I manage to open my eyes just a fraction. I can see those blue, blue eyes once more- the same lovely shade as a cloudless summer day and just as clear. I know in my heart that this will be the last time I see them, and he must know it as well as he moves to my side to pull my limp form close to his body.

“I’ll fix this, you hear me? We’ll meet again next time, somehow, and nothing will be able to keep me from you, my love.”

My last smile belongs to him, because I believed him with all my heart and soul.

The signing is thankfully almost over, just one person left in your line. They’re tall, with a hood covering most of their face and a very worn out copy of your book in their hands. Their long fingers brush yours when he hands it to you, and you can’t help but tense up at the shock it sends up your spine.

“What’s your name?” Robotically, you flip it open to the first page and move to sign your name, but a small note stops you in your tracks. It’s written in familiar chicken scratch, slightly smeared as if the writer had been crying at the time.

I’m sorry I took so long, my love.

And when you look up, disbelieving because there’s just no way- you’re staring into blue, blue eyes as he removes his hood. You can’t help but stare at him and drink him in.

“I…” You can’t get a word out as tears begin to well up in your eyes. He whispers your name and tries to smile but then he’s crying too.

“I told you I’d fix it. I told you we would be together.”

And with that you’re choking on your sobs and scrambling over the table to launch yourself at him. Yanking you forward, Toshinori pulls you into him and bends down to press his lips against yours, lips that fit just perfectly over yours because this is meant to be.

Pressing your forehead against his, you stare into his eyes as you breathe each other in. Your hands come up to stroke his jaw- he seems so thin this time around- and you press a kiss against his nose.

“Is this real?” The question slips out before you can help it. As always, he knows what you need before you do. Taking your hand, he presses it against his chest so you can feel his heart beating. The same heart beat that had lulled you to sleep so many times before, long ago.

“It’s real, my love. And I promise we’ll never be apart again.”

[mi5016marcie]

General Thoughts

So This assignment has been somewhat different than the ones I have worked on so far , so I decided to share my final thoughts on it here, before submitting it.

Video Essay

The video essay was fun to make. I was very glad when we were told it was an option instead of a normal essay , as usual essays are less entertaining to work with and i usually struggle to get myself motivated to do them. I also liked the creative freedom a video essay allows for , as I could share video and sound clips ,pictures and music to get my point across easier. Moreover , it was kind of like making a YouTube video , which has been something i wanted to engage with for a while so I'm happy this essay allowed for that to happen as well. Overall this essay was my favourite component for the assignment even though it was the most time consuming one.

Reflective Essay

When this component was introduced I wasn't quite sure how to approach it. Whenever I thought of what I wanted to do as a job it was always the usual , write my own show , animate it with a team and share it with the public. This essay made me think about things a little more than just on the surface level. I looked at more jobs for animators and where the industry can lead too, I searched for salaries, and usual expectations for companies and looked into what would be a good start for me after i graduate. Now I feel a bit more sure about myself for when university is over , and i have some more realistic goals set , for before I reach the point where i am able to create my own show at some point. Overall this essay made me look at my situation a bit differently and more realistically, so I'm glad it was in the module.

Show reel

The show reel was easy to make. At first I Didn't really understand the purpose of this component, but while looking at a few examples and editing my own show reel i kind of understood what it was about. Its basically an animated portfolio , so its definitely important to have, i enjoyed making it as it gave me a chance to look at my past work from last year, but it also motivated me to start creating more animations on my own and do more exercises so Ill have more work to put into a proper show reel that ill share with employers .

CV

I don't have much to say about this component. I understand d its important to know how to put together a presentable CV, after all that and your portfolio is what employers will see to consider you for and interview. Its good that it was included in the assignment as i had never made a CV before and now i feel a bit more confident for when i make one for an actual job.

Promotional Website Accounts

Also another component I don't have much to say about. I know how important it is to promote your work and connect with people in the industry. While i was setting up LinkedIn I realised that its about time i start taking these types of social media more seriously and start putting out more work , sharing it with more people.

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I enjoyed this Module quite a bit. I learned some valuable information that will be useful for when applying for a job . I feel like this assignment in general helped me see things differently and start taking myself and my work more seriously , as next year is my final year and i will need to be prepared to present myself and my work for a job. In general this module was a pleasant surprise as I didn't expect it to be so fun to work on.

[hcpefulmarshmallow]

Time for another trip to Headcanon Island. Only today, it’s not such a nice one. If you genuinely don’t care why I’m addressing these things and why it took so long, skip down to the line. Under a read more because length and triggers. 

It’s not uncommon for me to address popular fanon on this blog, and either ratify or refute based on my own, humble opinions. And because we’re dealing with Ko, and with DR, we’ve tackled some pretty heavy things. But those heavy things have almost exclusively been restricted to what canon hints at directly. That still leave a LOT open for interpretation, and boy do people interpret. 

 There are a lot of things I’ve seen floating around about things that may or may not be a factor for Komaeda, that I simply haven’t touched. Thus far, it hasn’t been necessary. And these are some heavy, ugly topics; and I’m not certain that I was wholly prepared to address them before. I have a deep disdain for the way some things are represented by people. The need to add more trauma for the Angst Factor, while not treating the source issues with any real care. Rather, they become a sort of accessory to make the character unique and interesting. For the record, I’m not calling anyone out here -- I’ve selected who I follow carefully, so if we interact, I already have great respect for the way you wield your character, and any real-world issues that may or may not be present in their stories. 

 However, I’m very conscious of falling into this trap myself. I don’t want my character to suffer from real-world afflictions that take a toll to read and write, if there’s no ultimate payoff. No development or regression, no resolution, essentially no difference whatsoever. 

 So I took my time with these opinions. They’ve been formed over a lot of thought and listening and comprehending; and waiting until I had the words for them. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 With that out of the way, I just want to say a few more things:

 One, normally I’m happy for people to reblog my HCs, but I must ask that you refrain from doing so in this instance. You’re welcome to adopt any of the below into your own perception but I want this post staying where it is. I feel like it’d go against what I’m trying to do. 

 Two, I don’t think I need to say this, but strong trigger warnings are in place. I mean the real kind; not that someone might get offended by, but that if you’re sensitive to sensitive material, you might want to go look through our Humour tag instead. 

 Three, the Tragedy is excluded from this. Some things would be slightly different pre- or post-, though I won’t explore that heavily today, but I think taking his Despair state of mind and applying it to his normal self is a little redundant.  

 And finally, this is just my own interpretation of things. I’m not trying to stomp on anyone else’s HCs, and you’re more than welcome to disagree. At the end of the day, Komaeda is tragically fictional. There’s only so much we can call “true”.

Suicide:

 I’ve seen it said a lot that Komaeda suffers from suicidal ideation. And I think this one is pretty much confirmed by canon, to be honest. He expresses his desire to be free of his luck cycle; to die for a good cause rather than alone from some illness. However, I don’t think he’ll necessarily do anything about it directly. It’s important to remember that Nagito truly, in his heart of hearts, feels like a worthless nothing, with only worthless nothing to give. He has but one thing of value, and that is the breath in his lungs - and he knows he won’t have that for long. It would go against all that shining hope he believes in, if he were to take his own life needlessly. However, that doesn’t stop him from being reckless and putting himself in situations where his death becomes an immediate possibility, and would benefit somebody else. 

Self Harm:

 I don’t believe Nagito goes out of his way to hurt himself in the more, for lack of a better word, ��traditional’ way. When one mentions self harm, most people think of a blade and a lot of blood. Once again, that would feel too much like giving in to despair. However, he does a lot of things, consciously and subconsciously, to punish himself and feed that deep-seated sense of utter self-loathing he has. But isn’t that also like giving into despair? Yes, but less openly, because he’s a hypocrite about this kind of thing. 

 The way he puts himself down is part of it. He’s sabotaging any chance he has of the one thing he wants - a close relationship. He doesn’t take very good care of himself. Sometimes, he legitimately forgets to eat because of his dementia; but other times, he just ‘forgets’. Things like hygiene are second nature due to the time he’s spent in hospital, and the obsessive compulsive tendencies he has that I’ve spoken of before; however, he constantly neglects to do other important things for himself. As stated above, he puts himself in dangerous situations. He doesn’t sleep enough (though part of that is due to nightmares); he doesn’t take painkillers when he’s hurting; he doesn’t complain when people try to hurt him. He truly feels like he deserves it. 

Sexual Assault:

 This one was the hardest for me to address because truthfully; I’m not convinced one way or the other. Canon makes no allusion to it, and Nagito’s attitude towards sex is a little hard to read. Possibly because there’s already so much going on in his mind. The song Zettai Kibou Birthday is set in a sexual situation, but it’s supposed to be a metaphor for a different kind of intimacy. He’s very protective of his female classmates, willing to joke but won’t force himself on anyone, and none of that tells me anything. For anyone else, I might not entertain the possibility. But here’s the thing: it’s Nagito. Anything’s possible. It’s difficult to deduce if part of his issues with touching other people and being touched (and pardon me as some of my personal headcanons get in the way here); and his nervousness about getting sexual with people, his willingness to shut up and take whatever his partner throws at him, his susceptibility to shutting down mid-act if something cuts a little to close to the bone, has anything to do with any kind of negative sexual experience. He’s a complicated boy with a complicated life. A very pretty, vulnerable, unsupervised boy with no support network or protection. You get what I’m getting at here - he would be an easy target; and with his luck, the possibility is strong. So yeah. I’m not saying something happened, I’m not saying it didn’t. But it really could have. And if it did, he’s not likely to talk about it for a very long time.

Physical/Mental/Emotional Abuse:

 For this little bit, I want to just brush over: his parents, because I’ve tackled that one before as I’m sure we all remember; the serial killer incident because that speaks for itself; and anything related to HPA. For this, I want to focus specifically on the time between losing his parents and getting accepted into the school, because that’s the most ambiguous, strange part of his life that never made a lot of sense to me. 

 I do have somewhere, on the old version of this blog, a list of HCs about that time in his life, but it’s a little outdated and needs some revising. What better time, right?

 See, when Nagito was telling Hajime about his trauma, it struck me as odd that he fluctuated between giving unusually intricate detail (“the meteor was the size of a closed fist”), to giving almost no detail at all (”then i was kidnapped then released eventually after an unspecified amount of time”). I could write a whole piece on why that might be. Perhaps some things hurt too much to talk about. Perhaps he had an ulterior motive telling Hajime these things, and cherry picked what suited his narrative best. Perhaps, as fluctuating detail is a symptom of, he’s covering something up. Or perhaps and most likely, it’s because you can only squeeze so much text into a few free time events. 

 Now, look, I’m no expert on the Japanese adoption system, but I do know that adopting kids out is tough. However, with Nagito’s luck, not to mention intelligence, looks, wit and giant inheritance, he wouldn’t have been that difficult in context. But does Nagito ever mention any wonderful adoptive parents, foster parents or even an especially attentive social worker? No. And if one existed, I think he would have. 

 It’s not unreasonable in my mind that Nagito was easy to find placement for, but difficult to keep there. Not just in foster/adoptive homes, but in group homes in general. His luck would cause havoc for everyone else there. He would have been shunted from home to home, possibly even bullied quite nastily for the things that happened when he was around. Again, canon never directly states this, but nothing else makes sense to me. Even if you’re rich, a kid is a kid, and a kid can’t just live on their own, you know? He can’t sign a lease, he can’t connect power. 

 That, in and of itself, would be psychological torture. Imagine losing your parents who you were never close to, and after that, having nobody in the whole wide world who wanted you? Worse, they would turn you away because of things you had no power over. 

 As to what happened in those homes, like I said; it’s likely he was bullied. In the anime, when Miss Y.ukizome, his closest authority figure, slaps him in the face, Nagito doesn’t seem to really react, to the pain or shock. He doesn’t even flinch. He just shuts right down, submitting to her entirely. That’s a boy that’s used to being hit. In DR2, whenever a character tells him directly to shut up, he falls silent with no further argument, until he’s given permission to speak again. That’s a boy who has been met with force when he’s tried to express himself. Even little things like when he wants to try out the swings in strawberry house, but worries the others will tell him off for it. After experiencing the story and it’s characters from Haji’s perspective, do we really think that anyone would give two shits if Nagito sat on a swing? They’d probably be thankful he wasn’t hecking things up. But he assumes he’ll be reprimanded for this innocent, simple act by default. I guess my point is, this is a boy who has not been treated very well by anybody at all. 

-- 

I think that’s it for now, but if I’ve left out anything that you’re curious to know my opinion of, feel free to ask, yeah? 

[maldreathezora]

I updated the Characters page of A New Calamity. As the characters have evolved, I think these profiles are more accurate, though now I’m having a harder time justifying why Linke decided joining the Yiga clan was a good idea. :| The fraud police are going to arrest me for Writing Without a License. I may have to chalk her decision up to being mentally tortured for a century (so, brain damage logic) or needing to belong to something bigger than herself. Maybe after being with Ganondorf for so long, she developed a need to rebel against her Hylian origins. Maybe she’s so desperate to get Ganondorf back that she’ll grasp at any straw she finds. Maybe she thinks she can take over the Yiga Clan herself and use them to resurrect him. Maybe she just needs an excuse to fight. Or maybe it’s a mix of all of these. Whatever. It doesn’t matter now. I’ve gotten her into the Yiga Clan. She’s Kohga’s problem now.

Read on, if you like. If you don’t, you can always just read the comic. You can enjoy it for the art, I guess? :P

Linke

When rumors of Calamity Ganon began to arise, the princess of Hyrule, Zelda, took it upon herself to study the ancient Sheikah technology for a solution. King Rhoam reluctantly allowed her to travel abroad, but for fear of her safety, he gathered the knights of the royal guard and asked her to choose a companion. Astounding everyone, Zelda chose Linke, a promising knight in training. The King disliked the girl, whom he considered too stubborn and outspoken, but on the insistence of his daughter, he made Linke a knight and had her swear an oath to protect his daughter over her own life.

Zelda also chose other champions, the best Hyrule had to offer. All underwent strict training and their health was monitored closely as the day of the Calamity's awakening neared, so when Linke revealed she was harboring a tumor in her breast, the Sheikah doctors put her under the knife almost immediately-- there was no room for hesitation when it came to prolonging the lifespan of a champion. Though hurried, Linke had no qualms about the surgery and made no attempts to conceal the transformation of her body; healing quickly, as heroes manage to do, she resumed her duties as soon as possible.

Since Linke made no attempts to disguise her illness, malicious rumors began to spread through the kingdom about the Knight Champion-- that she was cursed by Hylia, and would bring ruin to the kingdom. King Rhoam, wishing to distance his daughter from her chosen knight, ordered Linke no longer to speak to his daughter directly (she was allowed no more than a "Yes, highness," or "Yes, ma'am"). Linke obeyed this order until her demise at Fort Hateno.

Ganondorf

Ganondorf was a Gerudo King who appeared many times in the history books of Hyrule. The Hylian Cycle depicts a common theme: Ganondorf is resurrected, and a princess raises up a Hero to strike him down, or seal him away.

His story was nearly forgotten in Linke's time.

Ganondorf was slain so many times by Linke's spiritual ancestors that his hate began to manifest as a demon. In another realm, it grew to an enormous size and gained sentience, fueled by centuries of hate. Influencing weak minds, it sparked wars to keep its fire lit. Ganondorf's hate for Hyrule was a good resource of dark energy, but as it demon grew, it realized it needed more. Then it discovered an even better source of power-- the Triforce of Power, which manifests whenever Ganondorf is close to death. A master of efficiency, the Calamity dragged Ganondorf's soul down into the other realm, where it now holds him hostage, preventing him from reincarnating. Since Ganondorf's powers only manifest when he is in danger, the Calamity simply "kills" him over and over.

The demon delights in torturing Ganondorf, so when its reaching grasp on Hyrule found Linke's mind asleep in cryosis, it jumped at the chance to torture Ganondorf further by trapping his murderer with him.

Ganondorf and Linke spent a long time learning to communicate. He stubbornly refused to learn modern Hylian, so Linke set herself to the difficult task of learning the ancient Gerudo language, Va Eheniv*. The lifelong warriors spent the majority of their time together honing their fighting tactics until they knew each other so well that one could not think of their next move without the other immediately knowing it. Eventually, fighting became pointless.

The souls of Ganondorf's slain monsters followed him into what Ganondorf calls the Underworld. He often takes the form of a monster himself, in order to retreat into a quieter mind for a while.

*Va Eheniv was constructed in 2004 by Nina-Kristine Johnson and is used with permission.

Master Kohga

At the end of Linke's hundred years' sleep, Ganondorf instructed Linke to seek out his most loyal followers and join their ranks in an effort to rescue him from the underworld. Linke eagerly set out to join the Yiga Clan, whom she had often heard boast about their loyalty to "Calamity Ganon." Assuming they would only be too happy to accept her help in resurrecting at least one half of the pair, she submitted herself to humiliation at the hands of the Yiga, and was brought before their leader, Master Kohga.

Kohga was at first skeptical about Linke's professed loyalty to Ganon-- and her insistence that what Kohga considered to be a god was actually a long-lived Gerudo-- but her deranged story somehow won him over. He decided to keep her alive as a sort of pet project in his personal quest against the Sheikah. (Secretly, he wasn't truly convinced that this Ganondorf existed, but, just in case, he didn't want to anger a man of near-godlike status by killing his chosen one.)

Kohga has several hidden talents. He enjoys circuit bending Sheikah technology. He can also play the shamisen and even sings a line or two.

Unlike many of his followers, Kohga never removes his mask. Some say he's concealing a horrible burn. Some say he, like the mask he wears, has only one eye. Personally, I think he's building up a sort of Dread Pirate Roberts persona.

Nain

If in your travels across Hyrule you come across a Yiga woman with a cunning smile, an upturned nose and a murderous look in her eyes, you've found Nain.

Nain gravitated toward the Yiga after she was fired from the games table at a tavern for making a man swallow his dice. (He implied that she counted dice because she was too ugly to sell drinks.)

She was attracted to the money, the masks, the physicality of the job, and the equal opportunity employment.

The Calamity

An ancient demon with three forms; one a realm of horror, one a nebulous storm, and one a skeleton scrapped together from whatever it can glean from the occasional nightmare here and there. It has very few followers, so it leeches its power from Ganondorf. When there's no one around willing to make sacrifices to you, sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands...

Whenever it gains a bit of power, it attempts to leave the Underworld, testing its might against Zelda's sealing spell.

Zelda

Raised as the spiritual funnel for the Kingdom of Hyrule, Zelda spent the first part of her life in prayer and meditation, under orders from her father, King Rhoam. This was to awaken her sealing magic. When, after a long period of fasting which left her physically diminished, no power was bestowed upon her, so she began her self-education exploring the land of Hyrule. She was accompanied by her chosen bodyguard, Linke, who was charged with protecting the princess to the death.

Linke fell at Fort Hateno after taking the brunt of an attack from a Guardian with its sights on the princess. Zelda put her champion to sleep in a shrine of resurrection...

Linke assumes Zelda is deceased, her spirit holding back the Calamity even in death.

[ais-n]

Creator 2017 Tag Meme

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you’ve created this year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2017. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works. <3

No one tagged me, I just need some positivity after the shitshow of 2017. Although, because 2017 sucked so much for me, I actually might not even be able to do 5 works... If you look through my tumblr archive, I had so much less than normal that year.

But here’s to trying! :D Below are in no particular order. Sorry for the long post.

1. Have I the honor, milady?

I got excited in September because I started my patreon and I wanted ideas for things to draw. I asked on tumblr for people to suggest the funniest outfits for Boyd and Hsin from ICoS to wear for Halloween and there were some great responses lol One of them was for Hsin to be a princess, at which point I drew first the sketch version below and later made it into my typical Ais’ Terrible Art via Paint comic. Original post here.

This continues to be one of the silliest and stupidest things I’ve ever drawn, and yet it makes me laugh every time I look at it XD So it’s definitely a 2017 fav for me lol

2. Reciprocal: Reina’s Story

In case you didn’t know, in October I started what is meant to be a serial series called Reciprocal. I released the first story already on my Patreon - you don’t need to be a patron to read it (in other words, it’s 100% free for everyone to read, it’s just where I posted it). Read it here.

I wanted to write a story that has a bit of a supernatural twist to it, but that let me also touch on mental illness, and focus a lot of LGBTQIA+ stuff. I also wanted to set it in a seemingly super mundane, real world setting. I’m actually really excited about the serial itself, and plan to submit a future story of it to a magazine some friends are doing. I’ve started 2 more stories in this universe but haven’t had the chance to finish them yet. One of my goals for this serial was to really try to chill out on word count per part, and try to keep it 5,000-10,000 words per story. This is exceedingly difficult for me to do and I’m pretty sure I failed in the first installment but here’s to hoping for future ones lol

(Read all of Reciprocal #1 for free at my patreon, in case you missed the link above)

3. Incarnations

I am by far most proud of Incarnations. If you didn’t know, this is a book I worked on (on and off) for about 20 years. I finally finished writing the first draft of it in October 2016, then tried to edit it in 2017. I got some great feedback that will require some major rewrites, which was delayed by several months due to my bout of extreme depression this past Fall. But I did get some chapters out already on Patreon, and more will definitely be to come.

Incarnations is an LGBTQIA+ fantasy/sci-fi book which is the start of a series called Wildwood Rising. It’s sort of a police procedural, sort of a murder mystery, and sort of a typical fantasy story. What’s it about? Well..

It started with one body, and soon became four.

No connection except unknown magic stopping the decay. An ancient sentient language appears near the latest corpse.

Vikenti’s the magical cop assigned this case. Experts are baffled and he’s impatient. He wants this case solved, because it’s starting to seem a serial killer is targeting the community.

He isn’t the only one having problems.

Sloane wants answers for the nightmare that turned her into an outcast in her own home. Fawkes and Corrin need to know who they are. Keiran wants clarity. Besin craves history. Ven and Enria lost their family. Jade wants justice. Harper wants to forget. Twins Cypress and Hunter are on the run from everyone just for being born.

Everyone has a story.

Everyone has a past.

Everyone has darkness that can find them, and everyone will learn more than they expected about themselves, the world, and life.

It started with one body, but the story that body tells is so much more than a simple murder.

-Incarnations by Ais

patreon.com/ais

btw many of the characters are LGBTQIA+ in some form and/or people of color.

Here’s the beginning of it:

(read more Incarnations here)

4. Queenie

I really like to draw but mostly suck at it (hence Ais’ Terrible Art). Still, it doesn’t affect how fun it is for me to draw random shit. I’d been seeing on youtube that people are doing this “one marker challenge” thing where you get one marker and try to do a whole piece of art using just that one marker. I thought it would be fun to do but decided to start slow, by using a set of “dual tip skin tone markers” I got at Barnes & Noble randomly. They’re alcohol -based markers, the first time I’ve ever used those. 

I sat down to draw and didn’t really have a plan at all for what I’d do (I would have done some things differently if I had planned with pencil or anything instead of going straight in with sharpie like I did). I ended up with a girl I call Queenie. She isn’t the best piece of art I’ve ever done but I really like something about her, I think particularly her eyes. She makes me happy when I look at her so that’s why I’m including her in this 2017 recap. And because she’s my first alcohol-based marker piece of art.

I used 6 markers and 2 sharpies altogether on her.

5. A strange discovery in Irridian library

In all honesty, this wouldn’t hit my top 2017 moments if I actually had more options, but I’m super limited because 2017 was horrendous for my creative energy. Not that this sucks by any means, this thing amuses me, but I’m sure I’ve written better stuff in my life.

Anyway I thought it would be really funny to write a fake newspaper article set in the Incarnations world, about one of the main characters (Besin, he shows up in the first chapter and is Head Librarian). I thought it would be funny to show petty local urban politics in a fantasy world setting. So this was a whole article written by this woman Ghieta from Seiyunne Circle (the main newspaper in the largest Magetown on Ariwyn), basically all about being salty about Besin being way too devoted to his job as a librarian. XD idk I just thought the topic was absurd enough that it would make me laugh.

Read the whole article here. Preview below:

(read the rest here)

One of the things that I’m really looking forward to with Incarnations and Wildwood Rising is the whole thing is my world/etc. Which means I can do all the stupid random shit I want for extras without having to ask another poor soul to randomly go in on silly little stories whenever I feel like it (like I had to whenever I collaborated with others on writing). If you get into Incarnations, look forward to a loooooot of random shit in the future because it’s so fun to do XD

Honorable mention

by the way, honorable mention is a woman I just drew after being inspired by Queenie to the point that I bought some Prismacolor alcohol-based markers to try doing art only in color (no black lines etc). I would have added her to the list but she’s technically my first drawing of 2018. Still, I really like how her eye turned out so you get to see her below anyway.

I still need more shades in between though - couldn’t get enough blending on the shadows as you can see below. Also I fucked up her right eye’s eyelashes but oh well, I like her left eye enough I don’t mind the right being fucked.

TAGGING: I don’t know who to tag because I’ve been so inconsistent on tumblr lately so idk who even is into tags lately. So here’s the thing - I want to see everyone do this! If you don’t have anyone to tag you, say I tagged you and do this! Let’s get all the cool creativity out there, friends! :D

[namjoonchronicles]

Triggered - [BTS] Taehyung!Au

[A/N] He’s so pretty I’m-- *sobs*

Soulful. It makes your heart sing along with him. His high notes, the way he potrays the identity of the song so majestically, it's ethereal.

Kim Tae.

He sings behind closed curtains. Sings when no one is looking. No one had ever seen his face. "I only know his voice." You wrote in your iPad. Accompanined by jazz instruments in the bistro KimTae frequently perform in. You decided that this month, you wanted to share the world, the voice that this men had.

He had a unique and sorrowful voice in him that just delve into the soul of anyone listening. An effective remedy for aching hearts, that heals and and mend, despite never having to show his face to people. You wondered if the article you're writing will make him upset.. Should you be asking permissions first?

Will he see you?

He had turn away all interviewers. All good ones too. Those are all chances to expose him more and he just... reject them. A foolish move for such a talented voice. You glanced to your wrist watch and hurried to shove your iPad into your bag. It's a class you hated.

Applied Mathematics and Calculus.

You had a minor slip-up last semester, and that's why you had to retake this paper. Your fault, entirely. The writing competition was around the same time and naturally, you disregarded maths of course. You weren't in the mood to study. The lecturer handed an assignment. To which you groaned at. And suddenly, you had an idea.

Taehyung can help.

He's probably sleeping in the library right now. And you headed there first thing, after the boring lecture ends. You were right. Girls were taking pictures of him sleeping. He had his mouth wide open, tilted back, and although it was a repulsive view for you, these girls thought otherwise. Well, he does look good.

He slapped his mouth shut and straightened up before, crossing his arm, and slept face down. When you came, he had his face tilted to the side a little. So you decided to poke his face with your finger. Touching his chin and pinching the skin underneath his jawline, trying to get some responds. Taehyung was in deep sleep. "You stayed up all night to play games, didn't you." You scolded him.

Rubbing his under chin, like you would a puppy. "How do you that. How can you be such a geek and nerd and look good at the same time. That's unfair. Yo. Wake the fuck up..." you hissed, pulling the chair next to him. "I'm not supposed to tell you this but I needed an outside opinion apart of my perfect own... and because I lack true friends, I decide to come to your ass." You set your books down loud. But still, Taehyung wouldn't wake up.

"I'm writing about KimTae." You dropped. And Taehyung spring awake. "What. Who? Why?" He shot. He always acts like this whenever two names come up. Namjoon. And KimTae. "Wow. That reaction is faster than when I called out Namjoon's name... I'm going to use it from now on to wake you up," you danced in your chair and unfold the assignment you had.

"I...have something to do. An article about KimTae's music and you will help me do this shit." You pointed to the assignment as Taehyung sat up, shaking his head to wake himself up. "...I'll pay you." You took out your purse and took out some bills. "And that's the deposit. You'll have the rest when it's done." You scrunched your nose at Taehyung. Clicking your tongue and zipping your purse.

You didn't even wait for his answer. You just resumed writing on your iPad. "Also, Taehyung. The lecturer says he remembers previous students' assignments. So I think you should change a few words. And don't use nerd terms. Use literary kinds. Literature is kind of my identity you know." You reminded him.

Taehyung blinks at your iPad and, "Did you ask permission?"

You scoffed. "What do you think his answers would be?"

Taehyung blinks rapidly. Biting his lips. His eyes searching wildly. It seems like he didn't want that article to be published. "Why do you think he kept his beautiful voice behind curtains...? Is he, ashamed of his looks? Is he shy? Is he... just. Doing it because it's different. Or is he, immitating SIA?" You asked Taehyung.

He was just grabbing his pen from his bag and calculators. "Can you not write that article." He somberly asked. "I don't understand why he would choose this as a platform. Surely he'll want to see his fans, no?" You completely disregarded his pleas. You knew what you wanted and how to get it. "Maybe. Some artist does singing for the love of it. And not the fame." He stammered, starting to do your assignment.

"Cute." You commented. Feeling slightly sleepy, you lay your head on his shoulder and Taehyung bit his smile before clearing his throat.

I can't be too happy about this. - Taehyung.

"KimTae has taken over my life. I'm starting to hear his voice in my sleep now. Last night... I imagined his deep voice moaning underneath me as I–" Taehyung starts choking on air. People in the library starting to harshly shush you. Alarmed, you gave him bottled water of your own. He drinks from it, gulping half of the bottle when he placed them down. "Best wet dream I have ever had." You shake your shoulders and Taehyung picks the bottle water up and have it poured down on his head.

Gasps, everywhere. "He's lost his mind." You covered your mouth. Not even noticing what you did to the poor boy. "I need to dry myself. Excuse me." He was abnormally calm as he push his chair back and took his bag from the ground. You were left, confused of everything, and you hurried to gather his things, your assignments and iPad.

How do you explain the relationships you share with Taehyung? Casual friends?

He fetch you up to class. Buys you lunch. Takes you to the movies you want to watch and gives you shoulder massages. The only thing you don't do with him is going to the bistro together. Some classes, you had to take separately. Because he is an over-achiever, even though he looks like a bum. And you, you never over-estimate yourself.

That's what you get if you force your children to be a mathematician when she wanted to  docreative writing. She just can't perform. Fortunately, she had a fool called Taehyung. Who is insanely in love with her. And he didn't even know it.

"Don't write that article." Taehyung recovers from the violent coughing. He took off his jacket and shirt in front of his locket. For a nerd, he had quite a confidence with his body to strip in public. And you must admit, he had a good body. "You always do this whenever I want to write about guys." You rolled your eyes. "This time, its not Namjoon. And still..." you crossed your arm, hugging your iPad after putting his calculator and your assignment in his bag.

"Namjoon appears on every news. He didn't have to appear on your blogs too. People will get sick." Taehyung was really against Namjoon for some reason. Namjoon is the only guy on campus comparable to Taehyung's intelligence. They had a beef back then, and no one would tell you what it was about. Not that you were curious anyways.

"But I love KimTae. I want him to get recognition..." you pouted, you hand him the bills you set as deposits for him to finish your assignments. "Don't forget these." Taehyung hung on his locker door after putting on his new grey shark sweater. He slams the locker door shut.

"KimTae didn't sing for the audience. KimTae sings because of the girl he loves. KimTae doesn't move to bigger stage even when he can because he doesn't want the fame. KimTae doesn't show his face because KimTae wants to be appreciated by his voice. Not his good looks...." Taehyung said, in one breath. You were still holding out the cash money at Taehyung, puzzled.

"KimTae is me. Keep the money. I would do it regardless of being paid. But for your own good, I'm not going to. Because I like you. And actually want you to succeed. There, I said it. Up to you, what you want to do with that information. But that article won't be posted." Taehyung shoved the cash back into your hand and turned away.

He looks ahead, and blew hot air to his forehead before heading to the right, disappearing from your sight.

Thunder rolled in the sky signifies the storm that's about to come and the the storm in your heart. Taehyung said it so effortlessly. KimTae is Taehyung. You remembered him jokingly say, "The possibilities of me being KimTae, I mean, Kim Taehyung, me. Short, KimTae... funny right?"

You also remembered the time he hummed a song sung by KimTae, despite never attending KimTae's sing stage. Or the way KimTae sighs tiredly to the microphone when he entertains his audience during breaks. was the same way Taehyung would sigh when you talk about Namjoon. Or that one time, a weekend, when he giggled low on a meme you shared through messenger, the same way KimTae would giggle at the praise you give him through the curtain.

"Shit." You breathed. Holding the wall next to you. And the suddenly remembering about the assignment you had to submit, letting out an even exasperated, "Shit." It started to drizzle. Taehyung probably had already left with the car so you walked in the rain, calmly.

You stood in fromt of his dorms. Gifted students don't have to pay to stay here. You had to live off-campus because of your horrible results. You were standing in front of his dorm, in the heavy rain. Taehyung opens his windows, looking at you and then yelling, "Go to a shelter!"

He roared and you shook your head. "No!"

"You have class tomorrow, you want to be ill!?" He roared. He left the window and you knew he was coming down the stairs to get to you. He did. He covered his head with a hoodie and brought a pink umbrella. He took your wrist but you yank out of it. "I have to tell you that I am in love with you. Not just as KimTae. But as Taehyung." You were shivering from the cold.

"I get it. Now let's go inside..." Taehyung would say anything to make you follow him to the sheltered building. "Listen! You don't have to hide anymore. I want people to know your voice." You hugged your bag. "The iPad inside is probably already ruined because of the rain... but I want you to perform boldly..." you asked him.

Taehyung gave you a ridiculed look. "Don't you understand? I want to only sing because of you. I want your recognition. What others think about me is not important." Taehyung decide that it was time to take matters into his hands. He carried you over his shoulders and ran inside the dorm.

"Maybe KimTae can show me how sinful his moans are...?" You said, upon standing on your feet. Taehyung hugged himself, "Stay away from me." You start poking his sides in an attempt to tickle him.. He starts giggling on his side, cowering. "How dare you kept this as a secret... you must be enjoying how much I was admiring him, knowing that it was you... I will torture you for this. You will never see the end of it."

Taehyung was in for a very satisfying and long, steamy...night.

[decadentrpg-blog]

WELCOME VERA, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF CASSIEL LESTRANGE

Admins Note: Cassiel, what a beloved and corrupted man he is. I love how you delved into the histories of his origins that built him to become this person he is today. The touch of madness worked to align with the possible ‘disgrace’ of the Lestrange. The sample paragraph you provided did a masterful job of artfully showing a very realistic insight on who Cassiel is and what he has become. I can’t wait to see him roaming about, making his mistakes; perhaps resolving his past or being swept up by it instead!  Congratulations on your acceptance again, please make sure to head your way to the checklist and submit your account within the next 24 hours!

Out of Character

Name / Alias: Vera

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 22 (Almost 23!)

Timezone: EST

In Character Application

This app contains TW: religious/cult mentions, child abuse/neglect.

Full Name: Cassiel Samael Lestrange.

Cassiel. Cassiel is sometimes described as the angel of tears, the angel of temperance, or the angel who presides over the deaths of kings. The Lestrange family was preoccupied with religious, almost cultist, interests, believing with evidence that some of the greatest Jewish prophets were wizards. Cassiel was given this name to symbolize the deep nature that fanaticism runs in the family, hoping he could break the mold. The ancient angel Cassiel was not one to interfere, but instead watched carefully overheard.

Samael. In Jewish literature, Samael was a fallen angel, one associated closely with both darkness and kindness. He can be depicted as a Reaper, one close with death, but not unforgiving. This name was chosen for its rich mythical roots, while less Biblical than his given name, it carries the same unearthly, sinister tone when all put together.

Lestrange. Rightfully named, the Lestrange family has always been considered the odd name on the Sacred 28. They’re the Gothic Addams family in the looming mansion on a hill, strange and quirky, and extremely prejudiced. They are also given the reputation for being quite harsh, quite cruel - so while some may whisper about their strange traits behind hands, not a soul dares speak it to their face.

Sexuality: Undiscovered. So far, Cassiel has only had heterosexual romantic and physical connections, but that is not to say he hasn’t wondered if he could share the same with a man. Perhaps he over-romanticized it, enjoys the idea of it too much. With two woman already so deeply carved into his heart, there is unlikely any room for a third of any gender. Maybe Cassiel will never truly know where he stands.

Gender/Pronouns: Male, he/him.

Hogwarts House: Slytherin.

When the headmaster called Cassiel to the Sorting Hat, he jutted his chin out, stepping strong as he made way close. “I’m a Lestrange - I’m a Slytherin.” His voice, confident even at 11, rang out clearly through over the chattering students behind him.

“I’ll be the judge of that!” Chortled the hat, placed down then on little Cassiel’s head. Until he was sitting there, Cassiel hadn’t doubted his placement. Now, for a split second as the Sorting Hat grumbled, taking his time - surely, just to spite the child - Cass felt his stomach flip-flop. “You’re scared...?!”

“No,” Cassiel lied, arms crossing.

“How very... Slytherin of you. This one is Slytherin!”

Quickly, Cassiel stood, leaving the hat and his stupid fears before. Just before walking away as the next student drew near, he leaned towards the hat, voice cocky. “Told you so!” He muttered, running off to join his newly appointed house.

Head canons:

The Lestrange lineage. Cassiel’s grandfather was a mad man. The Lestrange family dates back as far as the early 1600s, maybe later, and have always had great wealth and status in the wizarding world. A large portion of that fortune was thrown away with Fulcran Lestrange. He was obsessed with religious writings, and sunk most of his inheritance into his worldwide search to prove that muggles had stolen theology from the wizarding world. He hated those without magic more than most, and went mad in his mad. It was his two sons who suffered from this madness the most - they grew up neglected, cruel, and left in a pureblood society without anywhere near the same amount of money as the others. It was a secret kept closely guarded. They lived large, borrowed plenty, and whispered often. It was Cassiel’s father who was the most responsible, and he was the saving grace to the family name. He rejected his father’s cult, he rejected the fanaticism, and dedicated himself to building back up the family fortune. Cassiel’s cousin, Leta Lestrange, was not as lucky. They were close in age, but lived very different lives, and Cassiel rejected her at Hogwarts in order to preserve his own reputation.

Holy matrimony. The Lestrange family is not poor, but they are not quite within the same ranks as most of the other Pureblood families, either. Once, they sat at the top of the pack, but they’ve fallen - a fact hardly a single soul knows about. You’d never guess by looking at them, after-all. They live extravagantly, but they’re in debt, and steadily working their way out of it. The marriage between their eldest son Cassiel and the pretty little Rosier girl was to be the turning point - the dowry that makes history change for the Lestrange. It was purely a move for the family to gain back some of what they lost thanks to Fulcran’s fanaticism. There was no chance at love, not at all - and with Natassia, the blow that marrying a half-blood would deal the family has the potential to secure their fate as crazy forever. Lestrange are known for their purist views. They do not copulate with anything beneath them. And, without Cassiel and Maxima married, their source of shared money decreases. Cassiel knows what leaving Maxima, or her leaving him, would do to his family. They’ve worked so hard to keep their secrets. And, as much as he loves and adores Natassia, Cassiel feels something for his wife, too. He fears she will end up like his own mother, and he regrets the way he’s hurt her so. Not enough to fix it, but... it haunts him.

Paris. In Paris, there is a secret family vault held in one of the great banks of the wizarding world. It possesses what Fulcran Lestrange left of the fortune, as well as any other great source of treasure or bounty that the two brothers acquired since opening it before the birth of their children. In the future, this vault would become a plentiful site for resource harvesting with the rise, both the first and second, of the Dark Lord. Now, it holds treasure and gold, and secrets. Family secrets, sources for blackmail, and anything that a single Lestrange or related loved one has been able to unearth. Slowly, they build back their fortune, trick by ruthless trick. Cassiel knows vaguely of this vault, but has never been there, nor knows what it truly has in store. Perhaps the Lestrange family is wealthier than they have allowed their eldest son to believe. He is on their puppet strings, after-all.

Childhood. Homelife was poor for Cassiel. Anyone born into the Lestrange family is not exactly raised with love and kindness, but instead the opposite. Fulcran had barely raised his son, Cassiel’s father, and in return, it was mostly house elves and a half-blood nanny who cared for him and his brother as children. The rules were strict, and each week she was given a potent dose of veritaserum (truth potion) to report fully back on the children’s behaviors. The two of them would conduct crude tricks and pranks against their nanny, they’d run rampage through the halls at midnight, they’d howl at the moon and laugh into fits of tears - but as they grew older, it became clear. Eyes were on them at all times. The rare times they got to see their father, an elusive but terrifyingly powerful figure, it was to be lectured on the effect their actions had on their future. Punishment was severe whenever Cassiel went too far with his rebellion, when he made too large a splash. His mother was all but a sad ghost that hovered between illnesses and her tear-stained cheeks. I love you, Cassiel. You’re my most perfect little boy, she’d whisper at bedtime, gentle fingers an unknown touch on his cheek as she kissed his forehead goodnight. As he grew older, he understood her weakness, why she never smiled. She’d been bought, directly from France, a great French pureblood family offering the largest dowry for someone who could just get rid of her for them. She was riddled with illnesses, and deemed cursed, so Cassiel’s father took her off of their hands and set her down delicately like a doll within her prison of the home. Her only happiness was her sons. She died young.

Purity thoughts. Politics bring tears of boredom to Cassiel’s face, who truly cannot be bothered to waste his time preoccupied with them. He considers it common knowledge that those such as he, of pureblood status, are the best of the pack. While he does believe this, he also wonders why it matters so much. Sure, they’re vastly superior, but so what? Without people less than he, he wouldn’t be at the top, right? Underlings are needed to keep up the system of class and division. That being said... Cassiel doesn’t quite grasp the hatred, either. At least, not as much as he used to. Natassia isn’t part of the collection of pure, sacred families but Cassiel never really minded that. She made up for her lack of blood status with other gifts, and had a wit stronger than half of the wizards he knew. His love for her has confused him even more. Yes, purebloods are simply better, and yes, they should have privileges. But... at what cost? Cassiel believes Natassia is worth the same life, the same respect, as he is - so where does he stand? For now, he continues to wave off the conversation about blood purity with a vague wave of his hand, a roll of his eyes. “Oh, bloody hell, how boring can you be? No one cares about that anymore. It’s New York, come on, let’s party!”

Insecurities. ”I’m a Lestrange!” Cassiel would shout to anyone who could hear it. His whole life, that’s all he’d been told that mattered. The look from his father’s knit brow - “You are a Lestrange. Act like it. You must behave yourself. You must be someone worthy of the name”. In his mind, being a Lestrange was being given a golden ticket - but oh, how some disagreed. Fulcan’s madness was not common knowledge, even in the tight Pureblood circle, but rumors had once ran wild. Some of it trickled down into the other students at Hogwarts, filling their mind with easy ways to call names and pull silly little pranks. Leta, his cousin, never quite learned how to deflect the teasing, and fell victim to it. Cassiel watched and learned from her, drawing up his chin in their mocking faces. “I’m a Lestrange, I don’t have time for this,” He’d sigh, turning a cold shoulder, his eyes mimicking the same terrifying coldness his father would have. He spoke highly of his “friends”, the children he’d played with a few times on the lawn - Aelius, Horus, Ivy - he had rubbed elbows with them all, and he let the world know it. He was nice only to the people who he knew would benefit his skills, and he overcame the mild harassment from his peers. Still, their critical taunts had stuck and when compared to the harsh upbringing Cassiel had from his father, he suffered quietly in a form of self-doubt. It was a constant cycle, a quiet voice always in his ear whispering: You are only worth your value. You must be valuable to be worthwhile. What value do you hold? Only who you marry, only how you dress, only the son you must produce to be an heir. Cassiel feels his desires conflict with his value, and he wonders deep down... is he, as a wizard, without the name Lestrange - is he worth anything at all? Is there a purpose to him, or was he only created to fulfill his families progressive legacy? I probably don’t even matter, so fuck it - I will do what I want.

Patronus. Wild rabbit. He is quick, he charming, he is cute, he is fearful, he is lustful. He cannot be tamed, his heart is a wild one, his wit is heavy. A wild rabbit is exactly what his spirit would embody, but Cassiel has never even tried to produce a patronus, so he would never know.

Wand. Beech wood with a dragon heartstring core, 13 1⁄4" and brittle flexibility. The wood shows how original, progressive, and unique Cassiel’s mind and thoughts are. Dragon heartstring cores are a little unpredictable, but strong, like Cass himself. The wand itself is on the longer end of the spectrum, just like Cassiel is taller than most.

Horoscope. December 29th, Cassiel is a Capricorn. I picked this zodiac sign because he fits many of the core traits, including; Materialistic to a fault, possessive, ambitious, cautious, cynical, self-centered, and very stubborn! He really is a textbook definition of a Capricorn.

Plot points to explore. Cassiel is known for being one of the most self-righteous Purebloods. His family has centuries of hatred towards muggles - while he doesn’t share as strongly in that, I’d love to see what happens when some people begin realizing his priorities are different. He would never be able to side with the Coalition, but eventually, people will realize he is less severe in his prejudice. I’d also love, down the road, for him to get one of his women pregnant. Either Maxima or Natassia would prove to be a complication scene to navigate for him, and I believe it could roll easily into a variety of plots! Would Cassiel be able to step up to the task as a father, would it sway his decision towards one witch over the other? What if someone discovered his family poor fortune, and knew about his money troubles? When it comes to his friendship with Aelius, and the love triangles they both find themselves in, Cassiel would do anything if it meant helping his new friend. Maybe he gets too deeply involved somehow, and lands in more trouble than before. Also, his dad was a skilled blackmailer - Cassiel likely knows also how to wield a few secrets of his own. I’d love for him to discover something unpleasant and use it to his advantage!

In Character Paragraph:

— “Cassiel? Come into the sitting room.”

Anytime he had to deal with his father, Cass wished to have a drink in hand, but the tone today didn’t sound like it came from a wizard willing to wait for a glass to be fetched or a drink to be poured. Holding back a rebellious groan, Cassiel snapped his fingers to motion a house elf over, leaning down to whisper in a cutting tone drink, now.

“Yes, father?” Cassiel’s tone was bored as he strolled into the sitting room, but froze when he saw that more than just his namesake sat perched on the lavish lounges. Two others, and a beautiful girl, a Rosier girl. Maxima. There was no need to explain for what this meeting was for. Long ago Cass had been told his marriage was in the planning stages, and to avoid falling for any “undesirable witch”. Maybe he should have been surprised to see Maxima sitting there. So regal, so untouched, so lovely, so ready to be owned. Cass felt his lips tightening into a thin line, but he forced a stiff smile on them instead. His shoulders squared. He wondered what his mother, rest her soul, would have said.

Nothing, probably. She’d been an observer in the home, a bystander to her own life -- Her children’s lives. Cassiel slowly made his way into the room, sitting next to Maxima on the half empty couch.

“How does a Spring wedding sound to you?” Father’s dark eyes glinted, glimmering with a greed that used to terrify Cassiel. The Rosier family had their chins tilted up, as if they were above the situation - or was that his insecurities talking?

Cassiel glanced to Maxima, eyes sliding up and down her frame, quickly trying to get a read on her. His silence wasn’t appreciated and his father cleared his throat. Time to play.

“Spring? Are those really the right colors for such a beauty?” Cassiel purred, hand slipping into Maxima’s as he smiled. He had no idea how she felt towards the marriage,

but he wanted to see how far he could with upsetting his father while they both needed to keep a calm collection about them. Time to play a game of wits.

Fury flashed, then disappeared. Cassiel’s father wanted the wedding as soon as possible, and would only be happy when Maxima’s dowry was stored in the Paris vault. “Or summer,” He graciously added, a hand gesturing to leave it open-ended. The Rosier couple smiled.

Cassiel glanced at Maxima again.

“Whatever she wants,” He said flatly, dropping her hand, uninterested in his game suddenly. This wasn’t just a joke, this was his life. He stood, and left, leaving the preparation to the others.

Extras: PINTEREST

[tamboradventure]

The Nomadic Network: A Community Update & More Events

Posted: 7/20/20 | July 20th, 2020

Last year, we launched The Nomadic Network, a global travel initiative designed to connect travelers with like-minded people in their area in order to inspire, educate, and provide them with the tools they needed to travel cheaper, better, and longer.

We wanted it to be a global travel club with chapters around the world. Something you could do in your own city but also one the road. (Want to make some local friends? Find a meetup where you’re going.)

This video of The Nomadic Network NYC chapter launch will give you a feel for what they were like:

Shout out to TNN NYC community member Rich for the video!

By the time March rolled around, we’d hosted over 37 events in 22 cities: Austin, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Dublin (Ireland), Fort Lauderdale, Houston, Indianapolis, London (UK), Los Angeles, Madison, New Orleans, New York City, Paris (France), Philadelphia, Portland, San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle, Toronto, and Washington, DC. (Note: Some of these chapters are still looking for leaders, so if you’re interested, apply here.)

Over 1,150 people attended our live events. In each city, we heard numerous stories about how happy members were to finally be able to exchange the travel stories they’d been dying to talk about with people who are just as excited to hear them.

But, when COVID made the world come to a screeching halt in March, so did our events.

Since then, however, we’ve been building up our online presence and launched three new endeavors to get people excited and involved:

First, we have been hosting virtual events. We’ve hosted discussions, speakers, Q&As, and travel game sessions so far. These events offer a chance for people to connect with like-minded travelers from anywhere in the world.

We’ve also hosted chapter-specific happy hours for people to get to know others in their vicinity while social distancing.

By doing these events, we’re continuing our mission to connect travelers with people and resources that will have them traveling cheaper, better, and longer when the world opens up again.

If you’re interested in attending a virtual event, here are our talks:

Visiting Bhutan: What You Need to Know (Tuesday, 7/21)

Celebrate FLYTE’s Five Year Anniversary (Wednesday, 7/22)

Freelance Travel Writing in the Age of Coronavirus (Thursday, 7/23)

What’s Your Traveler Footprint? Unpack your Racialized Baggage (Tuesday, 7/28)

The Black Travel Alliance: Why It Exists & How You Can Get Involved (Wednesday, 7/29)

How to Move to France (Thursday, 8/6)

We have more coming out constantly, so check out our full list of events here! Second, we’ve started a community blog! It’s for those of you who want to share your story with other travel enthusiasts. Here are some recent posts:

A Reflection on Italy During Quarantine, by Cassandra Santoro

Less Is More: The Freedom of Not Having Much, by Catalina Muñoz

How to Travel Sustainably and For Very Little Cash, by Kendal Karstens

How Carson Studied, Worked, and Lived in Spain, by Carson Cree

How Nabila Traveled as a Full-Time College Student, by Nabila Ismail

We’re looking to feature travel enthusiasts with all sorts of travel backgrounds who want to share their own unique story.

If you’d like to submit a post, please send an email to info@thenomadicnetwork.com with the subject “TNN guest blog post.”

Finally, we’ve relaunched our travel forums! For years, we had forums on the website, and now we’ve fully integrated them with our new community network so everything is under one roof. You’ll be able to ask questions, share your advice, and connect with other travelers!

Now that Lonely Planet’s Thorntree is shut down, the world needs a travel forum. Our goal is to make this the best one out there! So come over to our forums ask a question, share your knowledge, and meet some cool people in the process!

***

We’re focused on growing The Nomadic Network online right now, creating a space where travelers can learn, meet people in their area, ask questions, or share knowledge.

Best of all? It’s entirely free! All you have to do is create a profile to use any part of the website.

I’m super excited to continue building this program up, even if COVID-19 has quashed our in-person events for the foreseeable future. There’s no real club out there just for travelers and I want to build one. I think it’s the next step for this community and, whenever it is safe, I’d like to work towards creating like a giant event where we can all meet somewhere and hang out! (But one step at a time!)

After all, one of the things COVID-19 has taught us (or at least it has for me) is that we shouldn’t take community for granted.

P.S. – We also have an awesome Instagram page where we highlight travelers, upcoming events, and TNN members. Check it out!

P.P.S. – While this program is free, a lot of work goes into making it happen! If you’d like to support our community, please check out our Patreon where you can get untold travel stories, photos, weekly Q&As, free guides, courses, and more as part of your monthly membership. If you’d like to make a one-time donation, you can do so via Paypal.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines, because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is being left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com, as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and hotels.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it, as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those 70 and over)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all those I use — and they’ll save you time and money too!

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