#just stay out of george spaces please for fucks sake

[princessofmerc]

One day without a post talking george down in the george tag is that really too much to fucking ask

[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Camping

Prompt: You, Fred, George, Ginny and the trio decide to have some fun over summer break and go on a camping trip, except without the magic tents. Just some friends and some nature. Well, except for you and Fred, who are both pining over each other while thinking the other doesn't share their feelings. That is until you get particularly cold one night.

Warnings: SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!, Camping, Swearing, Fluffy ending, I think that’s it.

A/N: Oh, to be fucked in a tent by Fred Weasley. The dream really. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! LMK if you have any requests!

You let out a sigh of relief as you let your heavy backpack fall to the ground. The hike had been long, almost three hours, but the scenery from the mountain top where you and your friends were currently standing made it worth it.

It was Hermione's idea to go camping. She had talked about how fun it was when she had gone with her family, and thought it would be a good way to get out and spend some time together over the summer, and the twins only having been wizard camping with magic tents wanted the full muggle camping experience.

You were looking over the view when your eyes landed on Fred’s as he was looking at you, a smile on his face.

“Take a picture it’ll last longer” You joked to the older red head.

“Don’t mind me, just enjoying the view” He replied

You only smiled and rolled your eyes, moving to unpack your bag and start setting up the campsite. You and the twins were in the same year, and had been friends ever since your first day at Hogwarts, but you only saved your flirty jokes for Fred. 

“How in the bloody hell does this work?” Ron mumbled to Hermione, stretching out the fabric of the tent he would be sharing with Harry.

“You have to put the poles through it” Hermione explained, taking the fabric from him and showing him how to set up the tent, Fred and George watching from the side.

You and Hermione's family's had both had some camping supplies, so you brought everything you thought you would need, including four tents. Three doubles for Fred and George, Harry and Ron, and Ginny and Hermione, and a single for you. You honestly didn’t mind the solitude though, in fact you were pretty excited to get some uninterrupted sleep.

A few hours later, and sleep was the last thing that you were expecting to get. The temperature had gone down with the sun, and your sleeping bag was doing little to protect you from the cold that filled your tent.

You were just about to see if you had packed another sweater to put on, when you heard shuffling from outside, causing you to freeze up. You clenched your teeth to stop them from chattering as you strained your ears, trying to hear what the sound could have been before-

“Hey Y/n, you awake?” Fred’s voice whispered from outside the tent, causing you to huff out a breath, opening your tent flap to glare at the red head.

“Fred! You scared the shit out of me what's wrong with you?” You whisper yelled, backing up as Fred came to sit inside the tent with you, his sleeping bag wrapped around him.

“Oh stop it you love me” Fred shot back, now fully inside the tent and sitting cross legged across from you. “George wont stop snoring, can I bunk in here with you?”

“Fred... It’s tiny in here you wont fit” You tried to argue.

“Just scooch over, it’ll be fine” He said back, already moving to one side of the tent and pushing your sleeping bag over to lay his down, unwrapping it from around himself to reveal he was shirtless underneath. 

You averted your eyes, trying to hide the blush on your face.

“Fine, but I swear if you kick me-” You started.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise” Fred joked, causing the light blush from earlier to now heat up your entire face.

You shifted a bit, making more room before laying back down, facing away from Fred. A few minutes past and the cold had seeped into your bones, causing you to start shivering again. You pulled your knees into your chest, trying to preserve your body heat until you fell asleep, but you were interrupted.

“Y/N...” Fred whispered from behind you.

“What?” You whispered back a bit angrily, irritated that the cold was keeping you awake.

“Are you cold?” Fred asked, completely ignoring your tone. 

“No it’s a fucking sauna in here” you replied sarcastically.

“Come here” Fred said after a moment, causing you to roll over to face him, your eyes widening.

“What?” You asked

“Come here, I’ll keep you warm” Fred said simply. 

You looked at him dumbly. The possibility of somehow embarrassing yourself in front of your longtime crush was very real, however, you could already feel the heat radiating off of him, and your toes were practically numb-

“For Merlin's sake Y/N, your teeth are chattering, would you just come here so maybe we could both get some sleep?” Fred asked, lifting the edge of his sleeping bag.

“Fine, but no funny business” you said, trying to be casual, like you weren't about to practically cuddle your long time crush.

“You insult me, I’m a gentlemen” He replied

You opened your sleeping bag and carefully shifted yourself until you were in Fred's, turning so your back was once again facing him. Once you were inside, Fred lowered his arm, encasing the both of you in the sleeping bag before wrapping his arm around your waist, causing the butterflies in your stomach to erupt.

A few minutes had past, and you were still shivering a bit, Fred's body heat taking its time to seep through the three sweaters you were currently wearing.

“You know” Fred started “If you took your clothes off you’d get warmer faster” He said suggestively, causing you to roll your eyes.

“If you’re just going to make fun of me I can go, I’m sure Hermione and Ginny could make room” You shot back, your nerves getting the better of you.

“I’m serious!” Fred defended, any hint of joking from his voice leaving “Your feet are freezing and you’ve barely warmed up at all, but if it makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to” Fred finished. 

You pondered for a minute. Fred sounded genuine, and it was unlikely either of you would get any sleep with you practically vibrating from the cold. So without saying a word, you sat up and began to strip the layers off your body until you were only in your bra, underwear, and socks, laying down again, with your back facing Fred.

“Bra stays on” You mumbled, causing Fred to chuckle from behind you, before returning to his original position with his arm wrapped around you, this time his skin coming in direct contact with you.

You warmed up fairly quickly, both from body heat, and the fact that you and Fred have never been this close and your heart was racing at a trillion miles per hours. You had just started to get a hold on your jitters, when Fred moved his hand, trailing his fingers up your side and making small patterns on your arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake.

“Is this ok?” Fred asked, a gentleness to his tone

“Mhm” You mumbled, the action starting to lull you to sleep, before you felt his hand move from your arm to your shoulder, then to your neck, then to the side of your face, his feather light touches almost tickling your skin.

“Is this?” Fred asked once again.

“Yeah” You replied, a bit more awake now, then again, you could be dreaming. However the possibility of this moment being in your imagination was quickly whisked away when you felt warm lips connect to your shoulder, before moving up toward your neck, leaving short wet kisses in his wake, he finally landed just below your ear.

“Is this ok?” He whispered, 

You turned in the sleeping bag so you were now facing him, “Yes” You said before moving your hand to cup his face, and closing the space between you. Fred took no time to react, moving his arm to wrap around your waist and pull you closer to him, your chest now fully pressed against his.

Without breaking the kiss, you moved your hand from his face down to his chest, when you gently pushed him backwards, so he was now laying on his back, and you were straddling him, Fred's large hands coming to rest on your thighs. 

Fred gently bit your lower lip, and you opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to intertwine with yours. As the kiss deepened, your hips began to rock against his, his hardened member now painfully obvious.

You trailed one of your hands up his chest, landing on his head before entangling your fingers in his hair and giving it a light tug. This sent Fred over the edge, gripping your legs to flip you over so you were now laying beneath him, a started yelp escaping your lips.

“Shh, darling. We need to be quiet” Fred rasped into your ear, placing open mouthed kisses along your jaw and down your neck, causing a chill to run down your spine, before his reached around behind you, unclasping your bra which you quickly discarded

Fred continued to kiss downwards, his hand coming upwards to grasp your breast as his lips met the other, nipping and sucking at the sensitive flesh, before continuing the attack on the other, most likely leaving marks for the morning.

He continued kissing downwards, stopping once he reached the elastic of your panties, looking up at you and kissing the inside of your knee, your thigh, your hips, everywhere except where you needed him.

“Fred please stop teasing I- oh god!” You started, protesting his slow pace before quickly moving the fabric to the side, licking a long stripe from your core to your bundle of nerves.

Your head fell back against your pillows, one hand moving to cover your mouth while the other went down to run your fingers through his hair, Fred moaning as you pulled on his fiery strands, sending the vibrations straight to your core.

As Fred continued to eat you out, you struggled to remain quiet, the hand covering your mouth doing almost nothing to contain your moans. You were just about to reach your high, your head rolling back and your toes curling when Fred pulled away.

“What the fuck Fred?” You almost sobbed, frustrated that he had stolen your orgasm. Fred crawled his way back up your body, quickly pulling his wand out from beside the sleeping bag, and casting a silencing charm on the tent.

“I want to be inside you when you come, and I want to hear you screaming my name” Fred whispered into your ear, causing your eyes to widen at the boldness of his statement. Your surprise was quickly overcome with lust as Fred leaned down to re connect your lips, allowing you to taste yourself on him.

You broke the kiss and quickly kicked your panties the rest of the way off, Fred moving to remove his pajama pants, freeing his cock which slapped against his toned stomach. You gasped as Fred guided himself to your core, teasing your folds before slowly pushing into you, his size stretching you perfectly.

He waited a few seconds for you to adjust, only moving when you nodded that you were ready. He pulled out half way, before slowly thrusting back, bottoming out completely before repeating his movements, gaining speed with each thrust.

Fred brushed past your spot with each snap of his hips, making it impossible to contain your moans. Your hands moved up his back, digging your fingernails into his back desperate to bring him closer.

“So fucking perfect, you take my cock so well” Fred practically growled, sucking marks into the crook of your neck as his high approached.

“Oh fuck Fred, I- I’m close” You gasped, the coil in your stomach getting tighter with each trust.

Fred reached down and lifted your leg over his shoulder, creating a whole new angle that hit that one spot perfectly every time, before moving his fingers to your core, making small fast circles around your clit.

“Cum for me baby” Fred said, and a few seconds later the coil in your stomach snapped, your back arching as you rode out your orgasm.

Fred’s thrusts became sloppy as he came shorty after you, helping you to ride out your orgasm, before finally slowing to a stop. You stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath as you came down from your high, before Fred pulled out of you, causing you to whine from the empty feeling. 

He laid back in him original spot, the both of you staring at the ceiling for a moment, before a chuckle escaped your lips, causing Fred to look over at you.

“No funny business” You quoted yourself from earlier, “That was a fucking lie”

Both you and Fred erupted into a fit of laughter, the sudden realization of ‘I just fucked my best friend, and it was awesome’ setting in.

“Bra stays on” Fred quoted you from earlier “Also a fucking lie” 

“Would you have rather it stayed on?” You asked through giggles

“Oh hell no, in fact, get rid of it I never want to see it again” Fred replied, sending you both into another fit of chuckles.

“That's what I thought” You said once the laughing had died down, suddenly becoming a bit self conscious about the whole situation as a thousand questions went through your mind. Was this a one time thing? Does he actually like me or did he just want to fuck? Should I move? Should I-

“I think I’m in love with you” Fred suddenly said from beside you, your head snapping to look at him, his eyes already on you.

“What?” You asked, not sure if you were hearing him correctly.

“I think I’m in love with you. I have been for a while actually” Fred started, causing your brain to short-circuit “Your so funny, and kind, and smart, and fuck you're so hot, but you’re also so beautiful and I just-”

You cut off Fred’s rambling by connecting the space between you once again, connecting your lips to his, one to show that you felt the same way, but to also double check to make sure you weren't dreaming. 

“I think I love you too” You said after you broke away from the kiss, a smile crossing the red heads face.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Yeah” You replied, smiling back at him.

Fred leaned down and kissed you again, before wrapping his arms around you pulling you closer to him, your head now resting on his chest, his heartbeat beginning to lull you to sleep.

“Y/N?” Fred asked, whispering so he didn’t startle you.

“Hmm?” You mumbled back, already half asleep.

“Are you still cold? Because if you are we could always go for round two?” Fred asked jokingly, laughing when you smacked his shoulder.

“Fred!”

Needless to say... there was a round two.

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A/N: SMUT WITH PLOT??? In this economy??? 

Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed! I don’t write smut very often so I hope it was ok! Feel free to leave any requests or comments if you’d like. Also i have a taglist now so lmk if you want to be added! Love you all!

Taglist:  @levylovegood​

[adsosfraser]

The Stone’s Toll - Chapter Five

Read on AO3

Claire sat nursing her glass of expensive cognac. Neither of them initiated a conversation, preferring silence to the inevitable argument that would ensue. 

 It was Christmas Eve when she returned. Little over a month and a half in that soul leeching ward. Frank had decorated the house with holly, and ivy, and even some sprigs of mistletoe in an attempt for some normalcy. 

 “Claire, I’m sorry for what they did to you. I was angry at you. You not only chose to leave me once but twice over. You’d rather die than feel my touch. I wanted to feel anything but utter despair. I’m sorry it has taken me so long to return you home.” She offered no response. 

“Do you have any idea just how difficult these last few months- past few years have been for me Claire? How utterly exhausting it has been to deal with your loss and then now this? I don’t wish to fight you on any of this. Let us have a civilised conversation please.”  

 “How hard it’s been for you!” Her mouth hung open in shock. “You think these past few months have just been a fucking picnic for me!” She stood in her anger and seethed at the fireplace, back turned from her husband. 

 “Of course not, but did you ever stop to consider how I’ve felt about anything?” 

 “Did you ever consider my feelings when you were sticking your cock into one of your students?! God, did you give me one of their diseases?” Shock plastered over his face. “Oh don’t act so surprised, I’ve smelt the perfume and all those long nights at your ‘office’.”

 “Claire, be reasonable. You’ve only let me touch you once, and that was before I was intimate with anyone else. Not all of us are such mendacious sluts.” 

 “Oh and I’m sure you were an exemplary student of abstinence while I was ‘missing’, for fuck’s sake even during the war, because clearly me being the ‘mendacious slut’ that I am I wasn’t entirely faithful either!” 

 “I don’t wish to fight you anymore Claire, something has recently come upon my knowledge during my research, and it affects you. Please have a seat.” He gestured to the decanter on the side table and poured a glass for her.

 “It pains me to see you like this Claire. I can’t in good conscience force you to stay here and slip further and further away from me every day” Frank sucked in a breath and smoothed his hands over his thighs. “It angered me to see that you’d rather die... than be with me. That you chose his memory over me, a living, breathing human being, and I couldn’t even be sure he was real. Still can't. Can you not see Claire why it took me a while to finally decide upon your release?”

 The hazy buzz that normally surrounded her mind now had started to fade, if only slightly. Claire squinted at Frank and nodded. 

 He paused, calculating his next words. 

 “I’ve done some research with the Reverend. We’ve been in communication since you’ve told me what happened.”

 Frank adjusted his collar. He stared at the stack of papers to his right on the desk.

 “And well we certainly found evidence of your presence in the past, but there are other things.”

 Claire stared straight through him, she didn’t need to worry about her glass face showing something wrong. She felt nothing. This confirmation made no difference for the hell she had been through. The numb feeling had taken a while to crawl over her body the past few months and she welcomed it. It felt better than the suffocating dread and grief she originally felt.

 “I know I must let you go. Go to him I mean. It’s the least I can do for the pain I’ve inadvertently caused you, Claire. Please forgive me. It’s unbearable for me to live to see you this way, even if the alternative is to send you back.”

 “He’s dead, Frank. They all are.” Her lips thinned into a line. “I have nothing to live for.” 

 She cringed at her last choice of words. She didn’t want to cause him unnecessary suffering. But she was too tired to lie, to protect him from such verbal blows.

 “But Claire. He survived.” His white knuckles wrapped tightly around the armrest of the leather chair and he flexed his jaw. “This man, this Red Jamie was exonerated of his crimes, with a pardon from King George II himself. And his lands returned in reparation.” 

 “How-how can you tell me this? You know what I- God what you put me through. Why would you give me this hope?” 

 “I’ve also found one Alexander Malcolm and his,” he gulped, “wife Elizabeth Malcolm. But Claire, this is your hand on the document. A christening, where Elizabeth, where you’re stated as godmother in a church in Broch Mordha. But then there’s also this purchase of a croft on the Isle of Lewis, with the same signature as Alexander Malcolm.”

 “Please, Claire, allow me to make amends for whatever part I’ve caused in your suffering. If there’s some piece, some knowledge I can give you, it would ease my mind considerably. I don’t wish for you to waste away before my eyes, for the rest of our days in resentment.” His lips tightened into a thin line. “I met someone while you were away. The new assistant under me at Harvard. I think,” he paused, “I think I love her as you love your Jamie. Let us divorce and I’ll give you what funds I have.” 

 “You’re just- okay with that?” 

 “Claire, you haven’t been my wife in years, not really.” 

 “So that’s just it? I offered divorce when I returned, and finally accept when you’ve damaged me. My mind, my soul!” He winced at the sight of circled bits of skin on her temples. 

 “And I am regrettably sorry, darling.” He reached for her hand and squeezed. “I know this is what you’ve wanted ever since you’ve returned. Please, let me make this easy on you. I have the banking number for what covers the divorce settlement. It should be enough to purchase a flight to London, and then I know the inheritance from your parents and uncle should help you on your way to Inverness.” He slid over a paper card to her, detailing the whereabouts of the money he was offering her. She kept her arms crossed tightly over her sternum, not wishing to take any charity from him.  

 “There's another thing. Your son, the name they said you called out in your sleep every night. I have this death certificate of one Fergus Claudel Fraser. Marked March in the year of our lord Seventeen Forty-Five.” Tears sprang in her dry eyes at the mention of him. He pulled out a sheet from the pile of papers he collected and shoved it over to her side of the table. 

 “Why are you doing this Frank?” She couldn’t bear this physical proof that she had left her son to die without her. 

 “Here is one Fergus Malcolm, on the Isle of Lewis, a year after his ‘death’ and you're on this too. Or rather your alter ego one Elizabeth Beauchamp Malcolm. If nothing else, will you not live for him? Even if the proof of him amounts to nothing, that he really did die at Culloden? Please, take the money, and the papers. I’m hoping it can ease my conscience from all the torture you’ve endured.” 

 The last thing Claire wanted to do was ease Frank’s ego. She wanted him to suffer. But here was a lifeline, a way out and back to her family. She would see Fergus again if fate allowed. Her mind would never allow her to comprehend the other piece of hope before her. The one sure thing she knew was Fergus, he had been whole and alive the last she saw him. And there was something urging her to him. A panicked urgency. Her mind flashed to the nights after her therapies, when his presence in her dreams was almost so real she could feel his touch after she woke. She quickly signed the paper he offered. Claire Elizabeth Fraser. The wet ink shined against the thick paper. His suffering would have to wait. Her fingers began to twist the gold band on her finger but Frank stopped her. 

 “No, keep it. It will have value when you… return. The papers will be sorted by the time you’re gone, and we’ll both be free.” He swallowed sharply. “Know this Claire. I still love you, and I always will.” 

 He had a funny way of showing it, Claire thought. She didn’t dignify his statement with a response. She left him in the living room to pack, and as the sun rose the next morning her bed and dresser were empty. 

 Frank set aside some money for the divorce settlement into Claire’s own account. She withdrew the three hundred pounds without a second thought, and purchased a ticket to London. It barely covered the cost of a transatlantic flight, which was more of a luxury than anything, but she could afford to spend money, not time. A ship between would have lasted weeks, not hours. She was left with little over fifty pounds to find her way to Inverness. The only things she carried with her were her pearls, sgian dubh, the ring without its ruby stone, the copious amount of papers from Frank’s research, her old botany pocketbook, and a change of clothes, all packed into one small suitcase. Her things barely fit half the space inside it. The gold band hung around her neck on a chain now, instead of resting comfortably on her left ring finger. It clanged against the skin between her breasts with every sway of her steps. It was decided over a very pricey international phone call, she would go see Mrs. Graham.

[taylorinthetardis]

Only Human - Chapter 2

Alright! Here’s the second chapter for Only Human. The gang go clubbing! Will is extra weird! You guys get a glimpse at my basic ass taste in music! Hooray!

The songs I had in mind for this chapter are:

Good as Hell by Lizzo (playing when they walk in) YOUTH by Troye Sivan (playing when they go downstairs) False God by Taylor Swift (plays when Darcy watches Lizzie dance) Only Human by Jonas Brothers (plays when Lizzie tries to get Darcy to dance)

Again I’d like to thank my good friend @madbaddic7ed for her encouragement and for convincing me to cross post this story.

I hope you all like this chapter. Please feel free to leave feedback and if you want to be added to a taglist for when I finally update, please let me know!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22109365

Only Human

Summary:  The events of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice as seen through the eyes of Darcy. Story takes place in modern day London. Lizzy and Jane are American students studying abroad. Their sisters take turns visiting them throughout the story. Bingley and Darcy are recent business partners, but longtime friends. Caroline is as snake-ish as ever. George Wickham is an actual rapist - the rape will not be described in detail.

Pairing: William (Will) Darcy x Elizabeth (Lizzie) Bennet; Charles Bingley x Jane Bennet

Rating: Explicit due to eventual smut

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, some dirty thoughts

Word Count: 3.5K

                                                  Chapter 2: Lock 17

The five of us piled into the back of the cab. Charles and Jane took the two seats facing the back of the cab, leaving myself to sit on the bench seat between Lizzie and Caroline. Lizzie stretched her legs out across the back of the cab. The lights of London illuminated the back of the cab and I got a good look at her combat boots. Caroline did as well.

“Do you see her boots? That’s at least six inches of mud!” She wrinkled her nose in disgust like Lizzie had dog shit on her shoes. It definitely isn’t. But I mean yeah, they’re muddy, she basically lives in a park, what’d you expect?

“I am sitting right here. They aren’t that muddy and they aren’t on your feet so, why do you care?” Jesus Christ, I love her. Lizzie shot a look across the cab to her sister. Jane returned it with one that clearly said “Be nice”. Why should she be if Caroline is going to be a cunt?

“Caroline, be nice.” Is that all you have to offer here Charles? Thankfully, the rest of cab ride passed mostly in silence, with Jane and Lizzie occasionally chiming in with remarks about the area. Having been in the city for nearly two months, they had gotten to know the area surrounding Regent’s quite well it seemed. Blessedly, it was a short ride from Charles’ house to Lock 17, traffic not being nearly as unbearable at eight on a Thursday night. I couldn’t get out of the cab fast enough once it stopped. The brisk autumn air was a welcome cure for the nausea brought on by my nervousness from my proximity to Lizzie and the overwhelming stench of Caroline’s perfume. Once everyone had disembarked, we began the short, uphill trek to the bar. Caroline slipped her arm through mine and snuggled into my arm.

“Will, I’m cold.” She whined. Whose fucking fault is that Caroline? I didn’t pick out your stupid outfit. It’s autumn, in London. We’re by water. What the fuck did you expect?

“Guess you should have worn something a little more sensible.” I replied, struggling in vain to extricate myself from her grip. The more I struggled, the tighter her grip got, like Devil’s Snare. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the smirk come back to Lizzie’s face. Well I’m glad I can provide her with some entertainment. There was barely a queue when we got to the door. The step up into the building caught Caroline off guard and I was able to slip out of her grasp. The main floor was not as packed with people as I feared it would be. Everyone is probably downstairs dancing. Pop music was filtering up from the basement area. I didn’t recognize the song but Caroline did because she went immediately down the stairs. Oh, thank fuck for that. The four of us that remained worked our way through the small crowd to the bar. Charles had his wallet out before we even got up to order. I got my usual Old Fashioned, a double though, since I was definitely going to need the sweet relief alcohol provided my anxiety. Lizzie ordered Rum Punch for herself and Jane. Charles got a Screwdriver and four shots of tequila. He knows I hate tequila. He does this every time we go out. Judging by the look on Lizzie’s face, she wasn’t too thrilled with the prospect of needing to throw back that vile shit either. The bartender set the shots down on the counter. Charles passed them out, then raised his glass.

“To new friends!” We clinked our shot glasses and threw them back. I shuddered. Jane and Lizzie looked like they wanted to spit it right back out. Charles took his like a champ, like he always does. We set our glasses back down on the counter and the bartender asked if we wanted another round. Jane, Lizzie, and I politely declined. We grabbed our drinks from the bar and Charles immediately led Jane to a nearby table, leaving myself and Lizzie behind. Lizzie was looking around, taking it all in.

“This place seems like kind of a hole in the wall. How did it catch the attention of two wealthy businessmen? I’d have figured this wasn’t really your scene.” Oh, God is she talking to me? Why is she talking to me? C’mon Will you know how to do this. You talked to girls all the time at uni. Oh, no I took too long, she’s walking over to her sister. Should I follow her? Yeah, idiot, otherwise you’d just be standing at the bar like a numpty. Why am I so bad at this? When I made it to the table, she was asking Charles the same question she just asked me. I took the seat on the left of Charles; Jane was seated on his right. I stared into my drink while Charles told her the story of the last time we had been sat in this bar.

“… so, we left the concert at The Underworld, it’s this rock club not too far from here, but Darce wasn’t ready to go home, so we walked around Camden for a bit until we found this place. We had been to Lockside, the restaurant just a little further down the canal, for a business lunch before, but we hadn’t been over this way at night since we were in uni. I had no clue this place even existed until we saw the queue.” Charles is so good at talking. Why can’t I be more like him?  He went back to asking Jane questions about America, while Lizzie and I sat in relative silence, Lizzie chiming in every now and then to back up something Jane had said. I finished my drink and went back to the bar to get another. I was definitely going to need it if I was ever going to make an attempt at conversation with Lizzie. I stayed at the bar to drink my second and my third drinks. I was about to order a fourth, when Charles appeared at my side.

“For God’s sake Darce, what is wrong with you? I know you weren’t exactly thrilled to come out with me tonight but I didn’t think you’d be this broody. I was hoping you and Lizzie might hit it off. You’re quite similar you know. You’d see it if you made the effort to chat with her.” What do you think all this alcohol is for Charles? I’m doing my best, my dude. Ooh, my dude? I think imma tiny bit drunk. “I’m getting us another round and then we’re gonna go downstairs. And when I say we I mean you too. You used to be so fun at uni. I know you still have it in you, I think maybe you just need a little nudge to find it again.” I don’t know Charlie boy; I don’t think it’s gonna be that easy. He clapped me on the back and grabbed his and Jane’s drinks from the bar and went back to the table, leaving me with Lizzie’s drink and my own. Oh, that’s very clever Chuck, leave me with her drink so I have to interact… Suddenly Lizzie appeared at my side, taking up the space Charles had just vacated, swiping her drink from the bar. I must have looked visibly startled because she gave me that look again, the eyebrow and the smirk. She took a large sip of it and strutted away from the counter. My body seemed to move of its own accord, grabbing my drink and moving my legs to follow her. She led the way down the stairs while I brought up the rear. I didn’t know the song that was playing, but Lizzie seemed pretty excited about it. She grabbed Jane by the wrist, pulling her towards the dance floor. Charles trailed after the sisters like a puppy dog. Thankfully, the downstairs also had a bar, so I posted up on a barstool to work on my drink, ordering another one before long. I couldn’t see any familiar faces in the crowded dance floor; no Charles, no Caroline, blessedly, but, unfortunately, no Lizzie. I bet she’s a good dancer. She looks like she’d be a good dancer. I wish I could see the way she moves. I wish I wasn’t so damn awkward. I hope no one tries to dance with her. I don’t want anyone else touching her. Wow, four whole drinks plus one shot in – yeah, I was definitely drunk. How else could you explain me thinking about her like that? Like she already was mine. I nursed my current drink more than I had the previous ones. I decided to get up and walk the perimeter of the dance floor. Several songs went by before I caught a glimpse of her again. She was moving slow, in time with the beat. She was alone, but I could see Charles and Jane a little further in the crowd. None of them had their drinks anymore. They must have dropped them at the bar after I got up. Lizzie clearly knew the song that was playing; she was saying the words along with it. I could read her lips from my vantage point. We might just get away with it, religion’s in your lips, even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship, she threw her head back and ran her hand through her hair, continuing to sway her hips to the beat. The lights hit her and her hair reflected it, causing it to look even redder in light. Probably about the same shade as my face. She can’t look over here. She can’t catch me watching her. God, she’s so beautiful. A few more people moved away from the crowd and I got a full view of Charles and Jane. He was holding her close while they swayed to the beat, his arms around her waist. He whispered something in her ear and she smiled. Lizzie continued to dance. Several men moved around her, but no one tried to dance with her. How strange. She’s easily one of the most beautiful women in here. Can they not see it? Do they not see her? How could they ignore her like that when I can’t take my eyes off of her? Can’t they see how stunning she is? I continued to watch her move, imagining what I would do if I had the confidence to join her. What would it feel like to hold her close, like Charles is holding Jane? Would she let me? What if I couldn’t keep up with her? Would she taunt me? Or, would she help me? Would she guide my hips with hers? I could hide my face in her soft hair, pretend there was no one else here, just feel the curve of her arse as it moved against my cock. Oh okay, that train of thought needs to end. I cleared my throat and looked around, as if to double check that no one had heard that thought. I was so lost in my own fantasy that I hadn’t noticed Lizzie had vanished from my sight again, or that the song had changed. Charles, however, had taken notice of my new position and made his way towards me. Jane was no longer with Charles as he strode over. I looked around the room and caught a glimpse of red and blonde hair standing at the bar. They must have decided to get another drink.

“God, Darcy, I think I’m in love! Jane really is the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met!”

“That’s great Charles, I’m very happy for you. Don’t ask me for help picking out the engagement ring though, I don’t know a thing about jewellery.”

“Ha-ha very funny, but I’m serious Darce. I really like her. I’m really hoping that this is gonna be the one that’s lasts. I know its still early days but I just have a good feeling about it. I hope someday you’ll understand; feel how I’m feeling, you know? I think you might really be missing your chance here with Lizzie. I get that interacting with people makes you anxious sometimes, but I really think you should make the effort here. She could be really good for you. Just pull yourself out of your own head for once; have some fun!” Yeah, sure I’ll get out of my head Charles. Do you want me to go ahead and sort out Brexit too while you’re requesting the impossible?

“Charles, just because lightning strikes often for you doesn’t mean it’ll ever strike for me. And I’m okay with that. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Just enjoy your date, have fun. I’m alright on my own.” Good job Will, that should hold him over. Then maybe he’ll take the hint and stop forcing me to interact with Lizzie. I need to do it at my own pace.

“You’re right, Jane is absolutely incredible. But Lizzie’s very beautiful as well, you have to admit that.” No, I absolutely do not Charles. I shan’t and you can’t make me.

“I just hate seeing you looking so gloomy all the time. Lizzie’s fun and she’s very pretty. She’s got great energy. And she’s so smart. I really think if you just—”

“I get it Charles, but I’m sorry. I just don’t think it’ll work with Lizzie. She’s just, I don’t know, she’s too—," Gorgeous, intelligent, absolutely perfect for me in every single way, “I don’t know Charles, she just doesn’t do it for me, you know? She’s just not pretty enough to tempt me. She’s too soft, you know, in the belly.” What. The. Fuck. William. Patrick. Fitzgerald. Darcy. Why did I just say that? I just called her fat. Why did I say that? I didn’t mean that.

“Will, that’s really unkind of you to say. I think maybe you’ve been spending too much time around my sister.” I sure as hell hope not, but fuck if you’re not wrong. He started to walk away from me. I moved to follow until I realized he was walking towards Jane and Lizzie, who were standing about six feet away, each with two drinks in their hands. I recognized the one in Lizzie’s left hand as an Old Fashioned. My Old Fashioned. She bought me a fresh drink and I more or less insulted her to her face. There’s no way she didn’t hear me. This is why I hate clubs, they’re too loud. I have to yell to carry on a conversation. God, if you’re up there, I wish the ground to open up and deposit me straight into Hell where I belong, please and thank you. I walked towards them slowly. Lizzie stuck her left hand out for me to take my drink from her.

“I got you a fresh one. Seemed like you’d been working on that one for a long time. The ice’s all melted.” I downed the rest of the glass I had previously been working on. She was right, it was watery. She must have been keeping as close an eye on me as I had been on her. Strange.

“Thank you.” I took the new drink from her. She turned and walked away, heading back towards the bar area where it appeared Charles and Jane had gone to sit down. I followed, taking long draughts from the glass Lizzie had handed me. It was nearly empty by the time I reached them. I set my empty glass down on the bar, knowing all too well that my current drink would be joining it soon. But for the time being at least, I had something to occupy my mouth. Maybe that’ll keep me from saying something else stupid or insensitive.

“What have you been up to all night Will? Have you been out dancing? I feel like we’ve barely seen you all night.” Jane asked when I caught up to them.

“Darcy’s not a huge fan of nightclubs. He doesn’t like pop music. Or dancing. At least, not anymore. He only goes to them if I drag him, kicking and screaming. He didn’t always used to be such a wallflower, if you can believe it. He could really tear up the dance floor when we were at uni, right Darce?” He laughed. Drunk Charles really doesn’t know how to keep things to himself.

“I can’t even picture that. This guy doing the cupid shuffle at a college party? No way!” Have I really made such a terrible impression on her? I mean yeah, I guess I have. Lizzie laughed along with Charles. I deserved that. I deserved that. I deserved that.

“He sure could! But not anymore. He’s a serious businessman now and he only does serious businessman things. Like make spreadsheets and flow charts.” Alright the jokes can stop now Charles. He knows damn well why I don’t feel comfortable letting loose anymore. He knows what happened last time. The bartender called Last Call and the DJ put on the last song of the night.

“Oh, excellent! Last song of the night and it’s Jonas Brothers. Well I’m going back out for one last dance. Whadiya say Will? You wanna come with, show us all those dance moves Charles says you’re hiding?” She leant over, getting much closer to me than I was prepared for, eyebrow cocked again. “Or am I not pretty enough to tempt you?” She whispered it right into my ear. I shivered. She didn’t give me time to respond – she already knew the answer. She smirked at me and walked back to the dance floor. Follow her! C’mon legs, move! Charles and Jane went out after her, leaving me alone again. I downed the rest of my drink and settled up the tab Charles had started upstairs. I scheduled the cab to pick us up in five minutes and realized we’d have to track down Caroline. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I ground the heels of my hands into my eyes. When I took my hands away, Caroline had appeared at my side. Well, speak of the Devil and she shall appear. God, when I said I wanted to go to Hell, this isn’t quite what I had in mind. She leant against the bar, looking out at the dance floor, at her brother and Jane as they danced with Lizzie.

“We’re going to have to do something about that, Will.” Excuse me? What is this ‘we’ business? “Charles falls in love too easily. Jane seems sweet enough, but I don’t know about that sister of hers. I wouldn’t put it past her to involve her sister in some scheme. Try to get Charles to part with some of our money. Americans, they’re all so greedy.” That’s rich coming from you Caroline, seeing as you’ve been after my money since you were eleven fucking years old. However, I had to admit that she wasn’t completely wrong. Charles does fall in love too easily. It’s honestly been a miracle that I haven’t had to force a gold digger out of his life yet. I don’t get those kinds of vibes from either Bennet sister, but I’ve been wrong about people before, horribly wrong, and it cost me dearly. I decided I ought to keep an eye on them, for Charles’ sake, just in case. He’d been in so many relationships in the seven years I’d known him. Maybe Jane will be different, but maybe she won’t. The song ended and the lights came up. Jane, Lizzie, and Charles made their way back to where myself and Caroline were waiting at the bar. We followed the crowd up the stairs and out of the club. The cab arrived a couple minutes later and we got in the same way we had earlier. The nausea returned, but now I wasn’t sure if it was the anxiety, Caroline and her perfume, or the copious amounts of alcohol I had consumed. A combination of all three, I expect. The cab took Charles and the girls back to Hanover Terrace first. I didn’t get out. Charles clapped me on the side of my arm as he got out, knowing I knew what he meant by it: we’ll talk tomorrow. As we pulled away, I looked out the rear windscreen. Charles kissed Jane goodnight and hugged Lizzie before following his sister into the house. The Bennet sisters walked arm in arm back towards the park. I felt a pang of jealousy towards my best friend, at the ease with which he interacted with Lizzie while I couldn’t even open my mouth without insulting her. It took about fifteen minutes to get me home to Belgravia. I kicked my trainers off by the door and stumbled up the stairs, reliving every horrible moment of the night in my head with each stair I climbed. I got myself a glass of water and two paracetamol and set them on my bedside table. I collapsed on my bed and reached out to pull the wastebasket closer, just in case. I closed my eyes, but in the darkness, I saw her face. I covered my head with my pillow, but in the silence, I heard her whisper. I slept fitfully.

[george-mackay-macfine]

Dear Diary pt. 5

Requested

Word Count: 3,483

September 18th 2011,

Dear Diary, 

Sorry, I didn’t end up writing more yesterday, but by the end of the day, I was ready to crawl into my bed and pretend I was never born. 

But for the sake of future Y/N. Let me recap it for you. I’ll warn you it’s still pretty much all a blur, but I’m trying to piece it together… 

A very hazy, cider soaked blur. 

When I’d finally managed to work up the courage to leave my bed around nine-thirty, I’d tip-toed all the way from the end of my bed all the way to my door, and out into the main living space. As expected George was sprawled out on the settee. His chest moving up and down evenly, one leg over the armrest, the other hanging down towards the ground. If he was uncomfortable, you wouldn’t know it. 

I studied him for a minute, unable to help myself. 

Had he been a massive jerk last night? Yes.

Had he broken his promise to you? Yes. 

Were you going to forgive him the moment he fluttered his eyelashes at you? Abso-fucking-lutely 

“There’s my sleeping beauty.” I nearly jumped out of my skin as I noticed Dean standing at the stovetop. A skillet of food frying. “Sleep well?”

“Like a dream.” He snorted. I looked to Harry’s door, it was still closed. 

“He’s still asleep.” He took the frypan off the stove and moved the contents to the plate. “Dig in.” I walked hesitantly towards him, my brain trying to communicate to the rest of my body that if we dared to make a big enough noise, the chances of George waking up were high. “You okay?”

“Apart from feeling like an idiot.” I picked up a bit of bacon, pulling it apart. “I can’t believe I acted like that.” Dean shrugged his shoulder, passing me a spare fork. 

“Alcohol does that kind of thing.” I shook my head and stabbed the fork into some of the scrambled egg. “Trust me, I’ve done my fair share of stupid shit.” He pierced a tomato popping it in his mouth. “Running through the school dance naked… Kissing my best-mate…”

“I nearly kissed him.” 

“Who George? I thought you wanted that?”

“No. Harry.”

“You nearly kissed Harry.” He yelled in surprise. 

“Jesus Christ Dean, what are you trying to do? Tell the whole floor?” I shook my head and looked over my shoulder. Harry’s door was still shut, and George was still passed out. 

“Well, what happened?” He leaned across the counter a little, his head dropping. “Henry said you were sick.” 

“We got pulled into a game of spin the bottle and 7 minutes in heaven. I spun, it landed between Harry, and the guy who reeked of weed, remember when we walked in?” Dean nodded his head, 

“Both fine choices.” I shot him a look. 

“We went upstairs, and he was asking me about…” I nodded over my shoulder at George. Dean nodded his head in understanding. “Harry was then trying to pull me up, to drag me down to tell him, Saying how I needed to tell him and it was important to tell him, he lost his footing, or maybe I got the upper hand. Either way, he fell onto of me, and I don’t know we were just caught up in the moment.”

“And you kissed?” 

“Almost. We were about to when George walked in with a girl.” 

“Christ on a bloody bike.” 

“I’m such an idiot. I didn’t know what to do so I just ran out of there.”

“Where’d you go?”

“Down the road.” I dropped my head in my hands. “Then I threw up in the gutter right before Henry found me, and walked home with me.”

“Bloody hell.” He stabbed a piece of mushroom and chomped down. “You gonna talk to them then?”

“Which one first?”

“Probably best to start with Harry.” 

“I dunno Dean.” A door behind us opened and a cold chill slipped down my spine.

“Morning.” His husky voice floated across the living room. “He still asleep?”

“Yeah, mate.” Dean chuckled. “Probably be like this for hours.” 

“Y/N.” I turned slowly in my seat. Harry was stood outside his door. Shirtless… He had abs. Jesus Christ, he looks good. Not important Y/N.  “Can I talk to you?” I nodded my head, not trusting my voice. Harry nodded his head towards his room. “In private?” 

“She won’t be a tick, just gonna finish some food. Then I’ll send her in.” Dean motioned to the plate between us. “Can’t pass up a fry up.” I kept looking at Dean as the door to Harry’s room shut once again. 

“Think it’s too much if I jump out the window?” Dean shrugged. 

“Third story, you’d probably live to tell the tale.”

“But I would escape this conversation.”

“For now.” He shrugged again. 

“For now,” I repeated poking the egg. “What do you think he wants to talk to me about?”

“Knowing Harry, probably just wants to make sure you’re okay.” He pulled the plate away from me. “Now go in there and see what he wants.” 

“Pray for me.” 

“My hands are already clasped in prayer.” I rolled my eyes and pushed away from the counter. 

“Liar.” I stood up and slowly crept past George on the settee, and over to Harry’s door. Did I really want to do this? Have this conversation? Honestly jumping out the window seems funnier, and less painful than this. 

“Just fucking knock already.” 

“Fuck off Dean,” I called back before reaching out and knocking. Knuckle wrapping against the hardwood. 

“Come in.” I pushed the door open and stepped inside. I’d not been inside Harry’s room before, but it was cleaner than I expected. “You didn’t have to knock Y/N.” He was laying on his bed. Still without a shirt, but now he was reading a book. 

“It’s a habit.” He scooted across the bed a little, motioning to space beside him.

Rest in peace Y/N. 

I laid down beside him, careful to make sure we didn't touch. His bed was soft and smelt of him. 

“We should talk about it.”

“Do we have to?”

“I think it’s important that we do.” I felt him shuffle beside me. I kept my eyes on the ceiling. “We nearly kissed Y/N, and I’m sure had MacKay not burst through the door we would have.” What the fuck am I supposed to say to that? “I’m attracted to you Y/N.”

“Harry.”

“I know we’re roommates, had this been a different time, and we didn’t have to live under the same roof for at least the next year where I’m around you at least twelve hours a day, I’m sure I would have been content with one night with you.” My breath hitched a little. “One night with you however I wanted.” 

“I’m sure that you wouldn’t want that.”

“You’re right, I have this strange feeling that I would have always wanted more.” I finally turned to look at him. He was looking up. “But we can’t, and I get that. It’s rational.” Finally, he looked at me. “MacKay… I think he likes you as well. He wasn’t pleased with what he saw last night.” 

“Really?” A harsh nod. George liked me?

“You should go for it.” He looked back at the ceiling. “When you’re ready to of course.” 

“I’m sorry I tried to kiss you.” My voice came out just above a whisper. 

“What are you going to do about George? He wanted to speak to you last night.” He ignored my apology. 

“He does?”

“I think he wants to apologise.” 

“He’s still passed out, as you saw.”

“He drank a lot.”

“We all did.” I sat up. Turning to look down at Harry. “I’ll leave you alone now.” He didn’t say anything, he just nodded his head. I got up and walked to the door. “Harry,”

“Yeah,” He looked away from the ceiling. “I’m sure that I would have always wanted more too.” I pulled the door open. “If we’d had the chance.”

“Guess we’ll never really know.”

“Guess not.” I shut the door behind me. Leaning my head against the wood. 

“There you are.” I looked over to where Dean was standing. George was now sitting in my forgotten seat. “What’d Hudson want?”

“To make sure I was okay.” I held my head up high as I walked across the room, going past both of them and back into my bedroom. If what Harry was saying about George was right, it wouldn’t be long before he knocked on the door. 

Stay strong Y/N. 

“Y/N, babe?” George’s voice floated through the door. I waited a second before opening it. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” He looked behind me. 

“Can I…” I pulled it open wider stepping back so he could get in. “I am so sorry.” I shut the door behind him when he was inside. “I don’t know where to start.”

“You left me, George."

“I know.”

“You said you wouldn’t though.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t want to even go,”

“I know.” 

“I wouldn’t have cared if you’d had spoken to me about it, or said you want to speak to her alone, but you just … bailed.” 

“I know.” 

“Stop saying that.” He took a deep breath and sat down on my bed. Shaking his head. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry. Okay, I fucked up. Really bad,” He turned to look at me. “What can I do to get you to forgive me? I can take you to lunch, or we can go explore.”

“No,” I shook my head, “It’s fine, you don’t have to do anything.” 

“I do Y/N, I want too.” He reached out and pulled me towards him. His arms wrapping around my waist. “Please, let me.” 

“Fine.” 

“Fine? That’s all I get?” He chuckled. “I’ll take it.” He smiled up at me. “Lunch, on Sunday. I’ll pick you up, and then we can go exploring.” And that was all it took for me to forgive him. 

“Okay.” 

September 21st 2011

Dear Diary, 

Remember this date, because you didn’t end up in the end zone, you ended up in the friend zone.

Congratulations. 

Even though Harry said to me just the other day that he thinks George likes me, I am now 99.9% sure he doesn’t, but that 00.01% chance still keeps me going, even if it means being in the friend zone for a while. 

The “date” started off a bit rough, I won’t lie. 

Right before George arrived to pick me up at eleven o’clock Harry had emerged from his room with a blonde girl following out behind him. I wouldn’t have thought anything had happened between them if she wasn’t wearing his shirt and no pants. 

“Ellie, this is my roommate, Y/N.” Harry plopped down on the couch, grabbing the packet of cigarettes he and Dean were currently working their way through together. “Y/N, this is Ellie. She’s in mine and MacKay course.”

Ever since ‘The incident’ Harry’s been acting weird. We haven’t had a proper conversation in over three days, he’s always calling George by his last name, and now he’s apparently bringing home random girls to have sex with instead of talking. 

“This is Y/N?” I didn’t like the way she said my name, it made me uncomfortable. “George mentioned you a couple of times.” 

“I didn’t know you knew George.” I mean for fuck sakes Ellie it’s only been a week since Uni started, I’m surprised you even know Harry’s fucking name. 

“Yeah, met him at the party the other night.” She said as a light tap came to the door. 

“Speak of the devil.” Harry drawled lazily, a cigarette between his lips. The knock came again. “Better get that, don’t want to miss out on your date.”

“S’not a date.” 

“Does he know that?” 

“Harry.”

“How bout I get the door,” Ellie stood up and made a move past me. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. 

“It’s fine, thanks Ellie, but I can get it. Don’t want to interrupt your time with Harry here.” I spun on my heel and walked to the door pulling it open. “Hey,”

“Heya Babe, you alright?” George smiled down at me. I nodded my head and tried to pull the door shut behind me. “Ellie?” George looked past me. “What are you doing here?” 

“Harry invited me over.” George nodded his head. He got the message loud and clear. Though I’d be shocked if he’d managed to miss her half-dressed body lounging over Harry’s.

“Should we go?” 

“Please.” I breathed, head nodding. “See you later Harry.” I looked over my shoulder at the couple. “Great meeting you Ellie,” George grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door and into the hallway. 

“I didn’t know Harry and Elle were a thing.” 

“Me either, I didn’t even know he had her over till about five minutes ago.” George shrugged his shoulders, stopping us as we reached the elevator. 

“Let me get a look at you.” He smiled looking over me, I was suddenly self-conscious of how I was dressed. Should I have dressed up more? Dressed down a little? Shown more skin? Fuck why did I just wear jeans and a plain shirt? “You look beautiful.” 

“Thank you.” My cheeks flushed as the doors opened, George extending his hand for me to enter first. “Where are we going today?” 

“I thought we could explore.” 

“Are we going to find the Loch Ness Monster?”

“If you’re lucky.” He chuckled. “First for lunch I thought we could try this pub that Henry told me about.” Henry, I hadn’t seen him since he walked me home after the party the other night. 

“How is Henry?”

“He’s good.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “He told me that you know?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You don’t care?”

“Should I?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Is he happy?” George nodded his head. “Then that’s all that matters, isn’t it? He’s not hurting me George so why should I care who he wants to love?” My eyes turned into slits. Don’t ruin how I feel about you George by being as narrow-minded as — 

“There she is.” What the fuck? “Y/N from George Daniels roof… She’s still in there isn’t she?” He tapped my forehead. “The little spitfire,”

“What are you talking about?” 

“I dunno Y/N, you started acting… Weird.” He crossed his arms. “I thought I’d lost the girl who’d laughed at my pickup lines, skulled half a bottle of vodka and literally fell onto the roof, and was gaining another Stalker Sarah type.” Harry lied, he doesn’t like you. I turned looking straight at the doors. Praying them to open already. 

“You thought I had a crush on you?” Fucking open you metal death trap. “George.”

“Dumb right.” 

“Least you’ve got that backup modelling career in the mix, case university doesn’t work out.” 

“Christ.” He breathed out as the doors open. “Can I just say how relieved I am that you don’t have a crush on me Y/N?” 

Oh buddy, if only you knew. 

“I thought I was losing my best girl.” 

“M’ sorry you felt that way George, but I can assure you.” Do it Y/N. Protect yourself. Survival of the fittest. “Even if you tried ten thousand of your horrible pick up lines on me, none of them would work.” 

“Y/N…”

“We’re friends George, nothing more.”

Note to self, go back and pick up heart when you’ve got a moment to yourself. 

“Good because I can’t do this Uni thing without you.” He shook his head as he pushed open the door. “Are my pickup lines really that bad?”

“Let’s put it this way.” I pushed open the door stepping out into the chilly mid-morning air. “Your pickup lines, blow up harder than the meteor that killed the dinosaurs.” 

“Harsh.”

“Deserved.” I stopped at the curb. “They’re really that bad.” 

“This way.” George started walking down the street. “Why’d you really run out at the party?” 

“What can I say, I’m dramatic.” He chuckled. “I mean it, the moment I saw Sarah and Julian on George’s mum's bloody floral settee, I wanted to burn it, remember” 

“Safer for society considering what happened to it.”

“Should have poured the vodka on it rather than down my throat.” I chuckled. 

“I could have supplied you with a match, or a cigarette to drop on it.” Excellent job Y/N, you’ve distracted him. “Were you embarrassed you’d kissed Harry?” Perhaps not.

“I didn’t kiss Harry.” We stopped at a set of lights. “We were just waiting out the time of that stupid game.”

“Looked like you kissed him.” 

“Are you seeing her again?” Perfect segway. 

“Who?”

“June?”

“Do you mean April? Bloody hell Y/N.”

“April, of course. So sorry.” I batted my eyelashes as I stepped out across the street. 

“No, you’re not.” He shook his head, trying not to laugh. “But no, I don’t think so.” 

There’s that 00.01% chance creeping in. 

“Too smart for you?” 

“No.”

“Too clingy?” I clapped my hands together. “Oh I know, she’s not enough of a stalker.” George chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’ll give her Sarah’s number, they can exchange notes, and perhaps… perhaps she can level up to Sarah.” I held my hand against my heart. “It’d be my honour.”

“You’re being sarcastic today.”

“You said you missed roof Y/N.”

“You said roof Y/N was only because of the vodka she’d drunk.”

“Vodka based Y/N, and water-based Y/N are both the same level of sarcastic, water-based Y/N is just better at hiding it.”

“Perfect.” 

“Why don’t you want to see her again?” Good. Act like you care about her Y/N. 

“She wasn’t a great kisser.” I stopped, feet dead on the footpath. “What?”

“Are you serious George? You’re not going to call her because you didn’t like how she kissed you?” I shook my head. 

“What, she had a washing machine tongue.” 

“Oh.” 

“You get it then?”

“Julian had a washing machine mouth.” 

“See and you two broke up.” 

“Nuh-uh. We broke up because he kissed my best friend.” 

“Ex.”

“Right, Thank you. He kissed my ex-best-friend.”

“With that washing machine mouth, you see where I’m going with this don’t you.” George pushed open the door to the pub I wasn’t even aware we’d arrived at. “Washing machine syndrome is a real issue plaguing today's society.”

“That’s not a problem plaguing today's society George, admit it. You kissed and ditched her because you didn’t get turned on when she kissed you.” 

“Hi, I’m Tom.” George and I both stopped talking. Before us stood a boy, about our age. “Sorry to interrupt your conversation. Seemed pretty lively.”

“It’s fine, sorry we didn’t realise you were there.” George chuckled. 

“Don't worry, you two seemed to be having a very… heated discussion.” He grabbed two menus. “Just the two of you?” 

“Just the two.” 

“Great, if you and your girlfriend will follow me, I’ll take you to your table, and your waitress will be over shortly.” 

“She’s not my girlfriend.” 

“We’re friends.” 

“The best kind,” George added throwing an arm around my shoulder. Tom chuckled and held his hands up in the air. 

“If you two best-friends will follow me.” He corrected with a laugh. “Your waitress will be over shortly.” George and I followed Tom to our table, it was a small booth seat and we were able to tuck ourselves away in the corner. 

“He’s cute,”  George whispered as we sat down. “Your type right?”

“How do you know my type?” 

“Brainy, nerdy looking guy.” He looked over to where Tom was seating another couple. “A nice safe guy. The opposite of Julian McDonald” 

But he’s not you. 

“I don’t think so.” 

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t look like the type of guy who’d like to stay up until three in the morning talking.”

“Y/N, the only people awake at three in the morning are in love, lonely, drunk or all three.” 

“Well, maybe I want to add a fourth category to the people up at three AM.” George shook his head. 

“You’re one of a kind Y/N Y/LN.” 

“So they tell me.” I leant forward on the table. “I don’t want to be that friend, but can we cut today a little short? I just thought about all the things I have to do before class tomorrow and I’m stressing out… Maybe we can just do lunch, and forget the site seeing?”

“Rain check instead?” A cheeky smile slipped onto George’s lips. “That way you’ll have to see me again.” 

If only you knew just how much I wanted to see you George. 

[lilwenney]

looking for affection in all the wrong places (pt. v)

pairing: will x female!reader warning(s): alcohol & angst (a good duo)  word count: 3.6k a/n: part i, part ii, part iii, and part iv / playlist can be found here / here’s the last part to this lil mini-series that i honestly loved writing for, and it sparked my interest in writing once again. i understand that as i post this, the world is changing around us, and while this is a good distraction for just a few minutes, please don’t let it distract you from the movement that is happening. here is a twitter thread full of resources and petitions to help the BLM movement <3

This Friday night looked a lot different than the last. 

While she was used to the loud music, revolving multi-colored lights, and being surrounded by close friends in a packed flat miles above the city in Canary Wharf, sometimes (Y/N) found comfort in the corner of a pub in Rotherhithe with her classmates, sipping an ale.

It was the last Friday of the year she planned on spending in London, just a week before Christmas, and everyone still in the city was having one last go-around before heading home for the holiday. While last week her and her classmates celebrated the passing of their exams and clinical, this time, the celebration was a little more bittersweet - when the new semester of classes rolled around in January, they would all be split up, working in different parts of the city for field work, so this was the last time they were sure to see each other before May. 

It was only part of the reason (Y/N) decided to skip James’ last party of the year, or so she told herself. 

Earlier that night, she stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, staring at her own reflection, at the little black dress she slipped into, and she felt her heart continue to drop into her stomach. 

Everything she had been doing on recent Friday nights, she was so proud of at one time - proud for making her ex-boyfriend jealous, proud that she could get a rise out of him, but now that the tables had turned and her feelings were on the line, she wasn’t proud anymore. Instead, she felt just as bad as the day her and Adrian split.

Because now her feelings, as foolish as she was to let them get out of hand, now rested with Will. Her feelings rested with him and his equally fucked up emotions, all relying on his decisions and his wants. 

She couldn’t allow herself to go to James’ party, to get sucked into the moment as soon as Will placed a hand on her back, and she couldn’t allow herself to face him while she imagined he debated on whether he wanted to get back with his ex or if this fling was too much fun to end. 

After her talk with Cleo on Wednesday night she realized that she had things to figure out about herself, and it would take some time away from the situation to clear her head and find out exactly what she needed to know. 

So instead of mentally preparing for James’ party, sliding alcohol into her purse, and ordering an Uber, she slipped out of her dress and put on her boyfriend jeans, texted her classmates, slung on a jacket and left her flat, taking her car to a pub across the Thames before anyone was able to ask any questions.

But of course, Cleo texted her ten minutes later, wondering where she snuck off to while she was gone on a Waitrose run. All (Y/N) did was text her the address to the pub in response, not saying much more other than she was meeting classmates, and Cleo texted back for her to be careful.

And an hour later, Cleo wasn’t the only one taking note in her missing presence. 

In the kitchen of James’ flat, Will was holding a plastic cup filled to the brim with his own mixed drink, laughing with Ciarán and Callum when he spotted Cleo’s blonde head popping in and out of groups. He had been there since nine for pregame but he hadn’t seen her come in, and he hadn’t seen (Y/N) either.

“Ay man, I’ll be right back.” Will said patting Callum’s back as he stepped around him. The group continued their conversation behind him as he walked over to the kitchen island and looked around, raising to the tips of his trainers to get a good view above the heads crowding the open space. 

More people had shown up to this party than the previous two, everyone was shoulder-to-shoulder in the living room, and aside from Simon and Tobi, who were the closest to the kitchen, he couldn’t make out any faces.

He always saw (Y/N) when she came around, everyone did. She was like a beacon of light, guiding you straight to her, unable to miss when she beamed a smile or laughed over the music. She had a demanding presence and now, her presence was missing, and it was noticeable.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he looked at the lockscreen, realizing that she hadn’t texted him or the group-chat either. They hadn’t spoken since Wednesday night when she was at his and they had a few drinks, and now, she was a no-show, and worry began to sit in - she hardly missed Friday nights, and this was the longest they had gone without talking in weeks. 

Among the people in the room were Adrian and Hanna. Adrian was sitting on the sofa next to James and James’ girlfriend, but he was alone, checking his watch like an attempt to get away from the conversation, and Hanna was with a new date this week, and the guy she was with looked just as uninterested as Adrian.

Quietly cursing to himself, Will pocketed his phone and began to move through the bodies, spotting Cleo and moving towards her with each step. Pushing past JJ and George who were gathered near the drink table, he came into an open space between the table and patio, and when Cleo and him locked eyes, he could already read it on her face.

“Hey,” he licked his lips, scanning the room once more with no luck before looking back down at her, “did (Y/N) come with you?” 

Cleo turned away from Astrid to look at him and she shook her head. “No, she is out with some of her classmates instead.” 

His brow creased. “Classmates? She ditched us for her classmates?” 

She gave him a pity laugh, shaking her head. “I guess so. She was gone before I got back.” 

“Do you know where she’s at? With her classmates?” 

“The Mayflower, in Rotherhithe. They go there all the time after studying.” She watched Will nod, taking in his expressions that border-lined worry. From behind, Astrid reached out and grabbed her hand at the sight of another one of their friends entering the room from the hallway, but Cleo took a second to look back at Will with a half-smile, and she then decided to play the role of best-friend again. “You should talk to her, you know.” 

Will looked at her, but she didn’t say anything else, instead allowing Astrid to lead her across the room where Gee walked in with Chip. The plastic cup in his hand crackled as he gripped it tighter, and a second later, with a sigh, he got out of his phone again, pulling up their thread of texts.

William  Hey can we talk?

Breaking away from the laughter of the group, (Y/N) looked down at her phone on the table as the screen lit up. A photo of her and Cleo was covered by texts from the one person she wasn’t keen on facing or talking to that night. When the group laughed again, this time without her, she flipped her phone over and joined the conversation again.

Back in the flat, Will waited and waited for her to open the messages, for a reply, anything, but he received radio silence in return. 

“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath.

Returning his eyes back up to the party, watching those who were already drunk stumble around, hearing someone jokingly play Aitch, he quickly realized that he no longer wanted to be here. There was no reason for him to be here if she wasn’t, because other than them making out for the sake of others to see, he only found these parties enjoyable if she was by his side throwing back shots, laughing at or with him, or pulling him to dance. He could talk to any of these people at any time he wanted, but they weren’t why he was there.

He flipped through the possibilities of the night in his head - staying with his mates and getting smashed for the umpteeth Friday in a row or storming into a pub in southeast London for the sake of easing his gut feeling.

And then he let his gut win.

“Fuck,” he repeated before moving through the throngs of people to the door into the hallway, leaving his drink, his friends behind him. 

Sliding behind Becky and into the foyer, he heard a voice call out for him from behind. Turning around as he reached the front door, he saw Hanna. She stood at the beginning of the foyer looking at him, a smile on her face, happy to finally catch him alone. 

He looked at her and saw the last few months of his life, saw familiarity in the way she looked at him, and while his heart tugged him forwards, his gut pulled him back. Will gave her a glance and didn’t say a word before turning around and sliding out of the door, leaving her behind him while he rushed down to the car park. He had planned on spending the night at James’ in case he drank too much, but now he only had a few sips in his system and had a more important idea in mind.

The Mayflower Pub was just a few minutes away, tucked away on the Thames, and luckily with a few visits under his belt, he could remember the street perfectly. Cutting in and out of late night traffic, Will pulled his car into a spot outside of the pub, a familiar red car parked just across the street. 

The Mayflower was exactly like he remembered - the smell of lager and cigars, the same hazy atmosphere from the smoke, dark oaks and deep colors, and rather loud belly laughter from regulars. 

But he didn’t care about the regulars or the bartender calling out for him to order the second he stepped inside, he was more focused on finding one person.

Once he whipped his head around to look in each corner, he heard a loud group laugh to his right, catching his attention. And then he spotted her, sitting at the edge of the booth near the door to the patio. She was smiling behind the rim of her frozen glass, her jacket hung across the seat behind her, and she looked happy. 

She wasn’t dressed up like he always saw her on Friday nights. She looked casual, relaxed, and happier than he had seen her recently. 

Will’s heart raced as he walked over to her, catching glimpses of those seated around the booth in front of her. There had to have been at least seven of them, all with drinks, recalling memories, and they paused when he stopped at the end of their table. 

With the glimpse of a denim jacket out the corner of her eye, she raised her head, sitting the glass back on the table when she recognized his face. He paused, lips parted like he wanted to speak, but she cut him off first.

“Will, what are you doing here?” She asked, the rest of the group remaining silent. Suddenly it was like every pair of eyes in the room was on them, and they could feel it too.

He swallowed hard, “I just needed to talk to you.” 

She looked at him, and if looks could kill, he would be dead on the floor. To have him barge into a pub in front of all of her friends was embarrassing enough, let alone for the entire pub to be watching on. 

“Well come on then,” she stood from her chair, grabbing the dusty pink jacket off the back and sliding it on. He watched her turn back to her friends, holding out a hand as if signaling them she would be back in a minute, and then she led him out the patio door and into the cold night. 

The patio was dark and quiet, overhanging the water and lit only by small fairy lights strung across the canopy roof. Along the Thames Will could see small boats flashing at docks, lights from buildings reflecting off the rippling water. 

“How did you know where I was?” She asked once they were out of ear-shot from those inside, standing between the empty wooden tables. 

“Cleo,” Will said, stuffing his hands into his pockets to fight off the cold. “I noticed you didn’t show up so I asked. I was worried.” 

(Y/N) shook her head. “I’m here with my classmates, Will, you can’t just barge in like this.” 

“I messaged you and you didn’t respond-” 

“That doesn’t mean you have to come and find me. I would have texted you back eventually.” Their eyes met through the gentle darkness, yellow lighting shining down onto them. “I just didn’t want to go tonight, yeah?” 

He raised a brow. “You never miss a Friday.” 

“I have before,” 

“Once, because you were still drunk from a Thursday night for Fraser’s birthday.” He said, slight humor now laced in his tone, and she shook her head to prevent herself from letting out a laugh. When he realized she wasn’t budging, Will took a deep breath, leaning against a table. “I don’t know what’s going on here, love.” 

“I don’t either.” That was a lie. 

She looked away, back to the water in front of her. She watched the water ripple under the deck under her feet, sloshing against the rock base of the pub. This was one of those times where she wished everything was easier, that people knew what she was thinking so she didn’t have to say it out loud. She also wished it was warmer outside. 

Taking in a deep breath, the fresh air filling her lungs, she breathed out before finally speaking up, cutting out the silence. 

“Fuck, Will, I didn’t want to go tonight because I’m tired.” She said suddenly, not meeting his eyes, but feeling him look at her side-profile. “I’m over getting dressed up to go out and neck ya for the sake of making someone jealous.” 

Will’s head fell forward, looking at the space between his feet, toeing the floor with a trainer. “We don’t have to do that anymore,”

“I don’t want to,” she said before shaking her head, eyes still trained on the water. Her hands slipped into the pockets of her own jacket, balled into fists, nails digging into her palm as she began to confess. “I don’t want to do it because I’m starting to like you. And that’s not at all what I wanted to happen.” 

He wanted her to look at him, to tell him that directly, but his mind was playing keep-up, piecing things together as she continued to ramble on. 

“I panicked when Hanna texted you the other day. I was afraid you were going to go back to her, that we did all of this to make her jealous so she could come running back and you two… you two can get back together. And I didn’t want to be a part of it anymore if that’s what it was for.” 

“I never wanted her back,” Will finally said, easing all of her doubts at once. “I thought you wanted to do it too. For the sake of making that bloke jealous.” 

“I did, I did want to do it,” she admitted bitterly, leaning against the table behind her, “I wanted to do it to make Adrian feel... something. I wanted him to get angry, to be jealous, to feel what I have felt every time we were ‘off’ again and he had another girl. And I was proud of it at first, but now, seeing him like that doesn’t make me feel anything.” There was a second she paused, gathering her thoughts, the courage, and she finally met his eyes. “Instead I realized how much I like you being around. I care more about being around you than making some dickhead jealous.” 

Will looked at her, and she noticed the small smile on the corners of his lips when she said those special little words. He took a step towards her, testing the waters, and then another step when she didn’t react. 

“It’s mutual, you know,” he said and her angry facade dwindled, heading snapping to look at him. “Don’t know if it was necking ya or what it was, but yeah, I realized that I like you a lot more than I planned. I want you to be around all the time. Fucking ‘ell I left the party tonight because you weren’t there and I hated it-” he paused and licked his lips, “I hated it because you weren’t there,” he emphasized. “It’s borin’ and I realized I would much rather be somewhere else.” 

She laughed briefly. “Did it really take us to neck it at a party in front of all of our friends to realize this?”

“Yeah, maybe it’s always been deeper than us being friends.” 

“Are you saying we have always liked each other?” 

“Well, yeah, knew you have always been attracted to me. Look at me for god's sake,” he said using his hands to motion up to his face.

She snorted, “a bit of a knob you are. Don’t know why I like you so much.” 

Will shrugged with a smile and leaned against the table next to her, their hips, shoulders brushing. “Can say the same for you,” 

“You like me then, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he admitted, nodding, and they looked at each other again, eyes softer, “and I can definitely get used to liking you more.” 

She squinted, “humor me then. What’s one thing you like about me?” 

“That I can beat you in any video game known to man.” 

That was a lie. He liked her because she was someone he felt truly comfortable around, and he also liked her laugh, how it filled a room and filled his chest with joy. 

“Oh piss off,” her soft demeanor switched off as she knocked her shoulder against his, his laughter filling the open space around them, and she smiled. “My favorite thing about you is that you suck at board games, so it’s win-lose I guess,” 

That was a lie. She liked his laugh, the loud, full-body laugh, and she liked his presence, how welcoming it was, calming, in a sense. 

“So your favorite thing about me isn’t my rather plump bottom?” 

“Fuck off!” She laughed, pushing herself off the edge of the table. 

Will laughed loudly and reached out, sliding his hand in the bend of her elbow, preventing her from walking away. “M’joking,” he said, pulling her to stand between his legs. “I know it’s your favorite thing about me.” 

He laughed again at himself, and (Y/N) swore it became her favorite sound. His smile was inviting, contagious. She sunk into him when he pulled her closer, her hand retreating from her pocket and sliding around his shoulder, allowing her to softly play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Will stared up at her, as the yellow fairy lights shined dimly down onto her head, creating a halo on her crown. A stillness fell around them as they looked at each other - the water was no longer sloshing under their feet, the laughter from inside the pub had calmed. 

In a swift movement, she dropped her head down and pressed her lips against his. Will’s arms snaked around her waist and brought her body into his, his free hand raising up and winding in her hair, holding her head still. 

And kissing her was just as good as the other times, but this time, a bit better. There was no loud pounding music, no eyes locked on them, no motivation driving them other than their own interest. He lost himself in the taste of her chapstick, the way her breath fanned across his lips when she giggled before their lips met again, and then again. 

Her body yearned for his touch, melting forward into his jumper to contrast against the bitter wind that nipped at her cheeks. And Will allowed her to, his hand slipping past the hem of her jacket and pressing flat against her lower back, warming her up from the outside in. 

When she pulled back, Will raised to his normal height and looked at her - picturing them doing this months ago, hell, maybe years ago if the timing was right. They kissed once more and she laughed, this time for the same reason as Will started laughing. They had wasted so much time when they really could have been doing this all along. Where they started didn’t quite add up to how they would eventually end.

“You should go back in.” Will said, straightening his shoulders back. “Your friends probably think I pitched ya over the edge.” 

She laughed, breath rolling past her lips and turning into vapor. “And you should stay, have a drink or two with us.” 

“You sure?” He asked and she nodded hastily, taking a step towards the door. 

“Yeah, yeah, no one else is drinking a lot and I need someone to drink under the table.” 

Will groaned. “I’m bein’ used to boost your ego again, yeah?” 

“So is that a yes?” 

“When is it not?” 

Will lazily grinned and slung his arm over her shoulders, allowing her to lead him back inside, down a few steps and emerging back into the amber light and sounds of laughter. 

[angelicdestieldemon]

I wasn’t expecting to do that Beric Dondarrion x Sansa Stark

Hi, back again. This has been in my head for a while and since I have tons of studying to do, naturally I write it now because who would study rather than think about Richard Dormer’s lovely voice and beard. Anyway this may become a series or a multi-chapter fic in the future but for the moment its just a one-shot.

Hope you enjoy x

I’m sick and tired of these stupid little boys! For the gods sake, just grow up already. 

Sansa Stark had been stood up, once again, by Joffrey Baratheon. The blonde haired, green eyed boy of her dreams was turning out to be a complete and utter arsehole and she had finally had enough. 

She was walking home from the restaurant the date was supposed to be held and was passing the pub she usually just walked past, for some reason however, the decided to pause outside. The pub had a menu on display at the door, pub classics such as steak pie, bangers and mash and fish and chips had her mouth watering and her stomach grumble. She hadn’t eaten at the restaurant out of embarrassment of eating alone after sitting for so long, insisting she was waiting on someone to the staff. But here would be less public, the pub was lowly lit, with a few dark corners she could hide from the world in, and even better she doesn’t need to cook for herself or do the dishes afterwards.

After contemplating for a few more seconds, she decides to enter the pub and grab an empty booth in the back corner, where she could see the world but the world couldn’t see her, perfect. 

The menu card on the table had a little more information than the one inside and she decides upon the steak pie, it’s a little expensive, and Joffrey was supposed to be treating her tonight so she hasn’t got a lot of cash handy, so she decides against desert. She approaches the bar, the bartender was serving an older gentlemen who looks to be in his early forty’s with blonde hair and a mix of ginger, grey and blonde beard. His voice sounds like liquid gold to her ears and Sansa can feel her skin reddening slightly at the sound of it, it's a good thing the lights aren’t too bright otherwise the bartender and the man would notice.

Finally, she gets the bartenders attention and orders her food.

“Do you have any barbecue sauce for the table?” She asks, her favourite sauce is always able to improve her mood drastically.

“Give me a minute, darling. I think we got some in the back.” The kindly old bartender tells her, and disappears through the door behind the bar.

As she waits, she feels as though someone is watching her and fair enough when she glances to the man with the rich deep voice he is staring at her. She returns the stare with a raised eyebrow, forcing herself not to blush under his attention.

“Sorry, sweetheart. It’s just whenever I ask for anything, he tells me where to go.” He says, a grin pulling at his lips under the beard and she can’t help but smile at him.

“Maybe you didn’t ask as politely as I did.” She replies, a hint of sass in her voice.

He smiles a little wider and his eyes crinkle in a gorgeous way that makes Sansa feel extremely warm.

“Or maybe I’m just not pretty enough for him.” He teases and that definitely had a strong effect on Sansa’s skin tone, luckily for her however, the bartender comes back with a small dish with barbecue sauce in it.

“There you are, darling.” He says, placing the dish on the counter, before noticing Sansa’s reddened face and the bearded man’s smile. “He’s not been harassing you, has he?” His face quite serious.

“What kind of man do you think I am, George?” The bearded man says in outrage.

“No, actually, I was just asking him join me at my table, I don’t like sitting alone in pubs or restaurants.” Sansa responds, the bartender looking at her as though trying to decipher whether she is lying or not. Before he can say anything else, Sansa turns her attention to the bearded man whose eyes have widened at her response. “Care to join me…”

“Beric. Beric Dondarrion,” He responds at her pause. “Sure, who am I to deny a lady such as yourself.” He responds, making Sansa smile again.

“Thank you for the sauce, George.” She says, before leading the finally named, Beric over to her isolated corner of the pub.

Once he’s seated across from her, pint glass in his right hand on the table.

“You didn’t need to do that, invite me over I mean. George knows me well enough to know I wouldn’t say or do anything to make you uncomfortable.” Beric says, his eyes catching hers. She can feel herself being drawn in by them so she breaks eye contact and smiles a little.

“It’s ok, I’ll admit I wasn’t completely lying. I don’t enjoy eating on my own so if you’re okay with it, I don’t mind if you keep me company while I'm here.” She says, trying to keep her blush under control. 

The longer she stared at him the more qualities of his appearance she found attractive. This was something almost entirely new to her. This wasn’t a date, but she had been on many dates before but all those were boys here age. Having a crush, because it was a crush at this point, on an older man was not something she had experienced before (apart from Jaime Lannister, but he was a famous football player, most girls her age had a crush on him).

“Fair enough, I can go with that.” He replies, removing his outer jacket and placing it on the bench space beside him to reveal a black ribbed jumper, that made him look cosy. “If you don’t mind me asking, if you don’t like eating alone, why are you here on you own?” He asks, his forearms leaning on the table.

“I was supposed to be on a date right now but my boyfriend stood me up, I should probably say ex-boyfriend now though, this was his last chance to get his act to gather and he’s blown it.” She replies, finally making the decision she had been pondering since she left the restaurant in embarrassment.

“What kind of boy would stand up a girl like you, fucking idiot.” He says, the last part muttered under his breath, but Sansa still heard it and couldn’t help but smile at his sweet if foul-mouthed response.

“Anyway, enough about me, tell me about you.”

The next hour or so are spent chatting, Beric turns out to be a very intelligent man if a bit rough around the edges and when Sansa’s food arrives he tells her stories so she can eat without needing to respond. When she finally finishes her steak pie, which was completely worth the money, she wishes she had savoured it more because now that she’s finished she has no reason to stay, she’s not much of a drinker, especially when she still has a few blocks to walk on her own at ten-thirty at night.

“I suppose I should start walking home now, before it gets too late.” Sansa says, genuinely feeling sad she has to leave.

“You’re walking?” Beric asks, as he helps her put on her coat.

“I don’t live that far away and taxis around here are almost non-existent.” She replies.

“Let me walk you home.” Before she can say anything else he speaks again, “ Please, I wouldn’t feel right if I let a pretty girl like you walk home alone at this time of night.” Sansa nods her head, internally pleased that she doesn’t have to say goodbye yet.

As they walk, Beric continues to make her laugh, this time with stories about his friend Thoros who is a complete disaster when he’s drunk. As they arrive fifteen minutes later on the doorstep of her apartment she shares with her best friend Margaery Tyrell who is spending the weekend with her grandmother, the feeling of sadness returns. 

“It was nice meeting you Sansa Stark,” he says, his eyes shining in the moonlight and before she can second guess herself, Sansa tugs Beric by his soft looking jumper towards her and kisses him.

He freezes for a second before he begins to respond to the kiss, his beard scratching softly at her lips and skin, his hands cupping her face. She tries to deepen the kiss before he pulls away, not enough to remove himself from her grasp but enough to look her properly in the eyes.

“I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting that.” His voice has grown gruffer and Sansa almost melts at the sound of it.

“I wasn’t expecting to do it, but I’m glad I did.” She says, growing more confidant by the second, now that she has not been rejected or pushed away completely. “I like the beard,” she says her fingers stroking down the side of he cheek, the strands of hair softer than she thought they would be, he must take great care of it.

He laughs lightly at her statement. “I’m glad, but I have to ask, where are you going with this Sansa Stark, what are you? Twenty? Twenty-one? I’m twice your age.”

“Twenty-three, I don’t mind the gap if you don’t.” She responds, trying to keep her confidence which is beginning to fade and turn into embarrassment.

“Oh sweetheart, you’re a dream come true for a man like me,” he responds and Sansa can see his pupils growing wider by the second. “That’s settled then,” she says before leaning forward to kiss him again, this time when she swipes her tongue across the seam of his lips he doesn’t pull away,  instead he moves his hands down to her small waist to pull her closer against him. Kissing her breath away as he walks her backwards until the length of her is trapped between the door and the warmth of his body.

[fanficmoi]

The Fool By The Seaside Chp.7

“Do you enjoy working at library?”

Paul hummed, he was laying with his head on John’s tail, the merman decorating his hair with pearls and small shells. “I don’t mind it, y’know. My friend George works there, he’s a crackerbox.” He shrugged, “The pay is good, and my boss is nice.”

John tilted his head, his hair was still keeping his hair short, since he still felt the sadness and guilt over Ridire’s death. “Boss?”

Paul closed his eyes, the feeling of his boyfriend’s (Merboyfriend? Merlover?) fingers caressing his hair making him feel drowsy, “Yeah, y’know. The person is charge, tells me what to do, makes sure I get the money.”

John nodded, chuckling at his human’s sleepy tone. He curled himself up so that Paul’s head was still resting on his tail, but John’s head was resting on the human’s chest. He caressed the guitarist’s chest with a sharp but gentle nail, “Sleep,” He told him. “I will wake you up in thirty minutes, yes?”

Paul only snored in response, and John giggled in amusement. He kept an eye on the beach, not wanting to be surprised by some human. Paul had told him that nobody visited this part of the coast, it was far from the port and beach days weren’t really a thing with all the shit weather. But still, John was cautious. And he wouldn’t dare fall asleep on the beach again, the last time hadn’t gone so well.

Instead, he wondered about the future. He was with Paul now, but it was getting harder and harder to ignore the fact that they were from different worlds. Paul would have to move on someday, John knew. Get a human mate, have offspring, offspring with legs. John couldn’t give him that, he knew. But there was a little bitty bitty small problem, John was falling in love with his human.

John swam into his home with a sackful of shells, he’d gotten lucky today, finding a spot full of large, shiny (empty) shells. “‘ello, Mimi!” He shouted, putting his sack on the dining stone. “I’m back.”

There was no answer. John frowned, his aunt was usually right in his face whenever he came home. He swam to the kitchen, nope. To her chamber, nope. To his chamber, nope. He searched the whole cave, and found nothing. The he heard a familiar voice calling his name and he hurried to the entrance. “Cyn?” He asked, he tilted his head, “Where’s Mimi?”

Cyn grasped his forearms, she looked terribly distraught, “Oh, John! They just came out of nowhere, we were having lunch and they just-”

“Who’s they!?” John was getting upset too, where was his auntin?

Stu appeared behind her and it was then that John noticed that a crowd of curious sea creatures was forming around them. Stu said, “The police came, John. Took your auntin, said she was under arrest.” He looked forlorn.

John’s breath caught, then it began to speed up. Soon his gills were shaking and his chest was rapidly moving up and down. “How, how did this happen? She’s never done anything!” He could see that the people around him were starting to feel the effects of his panic, their own breathing erratic. But he could hardly concentrate on that now.

Stu and Cyn were quick to grab him and move him to the inside of his home. “John,” Cyn was saying, “You’ve to calm down.”

John just shook his head, he hated police. They always got in the way of his fun, hurt his friends, and now they had arrested his auntin!? The woman was practically a saint, she never broke a law in her life!

Stu’s voice interrupted his thoughts, “You gotta go to the headquarters and talk to them, see if you can pay her bail. It was probably a rumour or some shit like that, my Athair was arrested over that and he’s all good now, isn’t he?”

Cyn didn’t mention that the guards had been unfamiliar, unlike the usual ones from the headquarters that everyone knew. They had also worn different uniforms, and had been more aggressive. But for all she knew they had just gotten new uniforms, or something harmless like that that John didn’t have to worry about.

Paul sighed to himself as he stood outside his brother’s room. “Mikey?” He asked as he knocked, “I really want to talk to you.” Michael had been ignoring him for days now, and Paul could hardly blame him. The older one had been horrible, scaring his little brother. While he was with John all those thoughts flew away, but he couldn’t ignore them while at home. His dad had noticed something was off between the two brothers, but being busy with work was unable to address the topic. So it was up to Paul.

“I am really sorry, Mike.” He said, “I don’t know what came over me and I know I keep saying this but it's the truth.” He knocked again. “John said he’d help-” He broke off at the sound of something heavy hitting the door, probably a book or a shoe. “Mike?” At least he’d gotten a reaction. He knocked rapidly, “Michael, please. I’m trying to fix this.”

There was silence, then the door was unlocked.

Paul smiled and opened the door, “Mike?”

His brother was sitting in his bed, glaring at him.

Paul’s smile fell as he sat down next to him, but he was relieved that his brother didn’t push him away. “Mike, I know I sound like a broken record but I am sorry.”

His brother nodded, expressionless. “You do know he’s causing this, right?”

Paul frowned, “Who?”

Mike scoffed, “Your John. He’s the one making you act like this.”

It was Paul’s turn to scoff, “Of course not, Michael. Why would you say that?”

His brother rolled his eyes, “Because you only get like that whenever I insult him or whatever, you get protective and horrible. That creature made you like that.”

Paul scowled, “Now, Mike, I know you don’t like him-”

Mike stood, “For god’s sakes, Paul! It’s not that! It’s just that it’s obvious.”

Paul stood up as well, “John wouldn’t do that.”

Mike stepped forwards, “How would you know? You know all their stories, sirens are manipulative, cruel-”

“First of all, John’s not a siren. He’s just a regular Merrow.” Paul was trying to control his temper, “And second, I trust him.”

Mike glared, “Why trust him over me? Your brother?”

Paul sighed, “It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that you barely know him, Mike.”

His brother sat down again, “And I don’t wanna know him,” He huffed, “I don’t get why he got so upset when I touched him, it’s just a body part.”

Paul glared, “A very sensitive body part, Michael. Private.”

Mike chuckled, “And I bet he lets you all over it.”

Paul didn’t answer and his brother laughed. “He does, doesn’t he? That’s why you like him, you like his tail.”

“Of course not!” Paul shouted, “That’s the least of it, but yes it’s a sign of trust, that’s why I trust him.”

Michael just shook his head, “Fuck, you’re hopeless, Paul. That thing’s got you good.”

Paul knew that if he stayed he would lose it again, so he just turned around and slammed the door as he left.

His little brother was left with an angry, worried mind.

“What do you mean, I can’t see her!?” John shouted at the poor merman behind the counter.

“I, I’m sorry, gentlemerrow. The royal guards have prohibited.” The attendant tried to explain, there was something extremely powerful about the angry being before him.

John heard Cyn and Stu gasp behind him, “Royal guards? From Atlantis?” He frowned, “What were the charges?”

The attendant cowered, “It’s really not my place to say-”

John leaned forwards, his teeth barred and his pupils looking like slits. “What. Were. The. Charges?” He pronounced in a quiet, dangerous voice.

Stu and Cyn winced, as this everyone else in the vicinity. This was a rare John, he was angry and actually meant it. John was afraid of anger in others, but he himself had quite the tempers. And both his bark and his bite were very sharp.

The merman behind the counter shivered, he grabbed a file that was at the top of a pile and opened its stone flaps. He cleared his throat, “The Merrow known as Mahry Elishabet Smeed was arrested by the Royal Guard of Atlantis with direct orders from the Royal Palace on charges of…” The man frowned and then gaped up at John.

John sneered at him, “What charges?”

The other’s head tilted, “What did you say was your relation to the prisoner?”

As his friends frowned, John’s glare deepened, “She’s my auntin, and don’t you dare call her a prisoner!”

The attendant’s gape became wider.

John grabbed him by the forearms, ignoring his friends’ protests, “What are the fucking charges?”

The other just looked at him in awe, but then finally spoke. “She was arrested for harboring a siren in her home.”

Paul had returned to the beach, guitar in hand. It was nighttime but he didn’t mind if he couldn’t see John, he just needed space.

He stared at the stars above him, they were beautiful. Almost as beautiful as John. You couldn’t see the stars from the city, too smokey, but here in his beach, he could see it all.

He sighed, could Mike be right? Was John controlling his feelings? It made little sense, John had been surprised by his outburst too.

He grabbed his guitar and began to pluck a gentle melody he and George had been working on. They had wanted to be in a band, but two was hardly enough. And neither of them could play drums.

Suddenly the water splashed, “PAUL!” A familiar voice screeched.

“John!?” Paul tossed his guitar aside and jumped up. He spotted his merman a bit further away, seemingly unable to get out of the water.

“Paul! Help me!” John screamed, his voice panicked.

Paul ran into the water, seeing John barely able to move. His lover stretched out his arms, crying for help. Paul finally reached him, slipping along the way. He grabbed the wet arms and pulled. John launched himself at him, holding him with all his strength and that’s when Paul saw what was holding him down, were those eels?? They were wrapped all over John’s tail and lower torso, and they appeared to be electrocuting him. Paul pulled harder.

John was sobbing, frantically flipping his tail hoping that the eels would be thrown away but they held on strongly. At least they were getting closer to the beach.

Paul kicking at the creatures as well, ignoring the fact that they could hurt him. His only concern was John. Finally, they got to the surface and Paul dragged his lover far away from the water.

The eels screeched and let go but Paul kept dragging the heavy weight of John until he tripped over a rock and the two of them fell down.

In no time John was hugging him, shaking and sobbing. Paul was confused but put his arms around the merman and whispered assurances in his ear.

“Johnny, what’s wrong?” Paul asked. Then he noticed that his lover was shivering, so he started to rub his arms with his pals. But he was even more worried, the cold temperature had never affected John before.

But before the human could comment on it, something even more strange started to happen.

John’s tail was looking burnt and bloody before, but now it appeared to be almost melting in a way. The scales were falling away, some of them just disappearing, his fins falling away as well.

Paul looked away only to find a distraught but quiet John looking back at him. The human frowned, “John, what’s going on?”

The other just shook his head and looked down, “I am sorry, Paul.” He choked, “I didn’t know.”

Paul’s answer was interrupted by the sight he witnessed as he looked briefly back at the tail. He was speechless. For the silver-blue tail was gone, and its place were two pale, very much human, legs.

[hamilton-one-shots]

Hamilton High School AU 63

He tried to break away, but the arms were too strong around his waist. "Who the fuck are you?"

"You'd think you know. Last time you heard me talking, it was in court, where you got off free for breaking my leg defending my stupid ex."

James Reynolds. John kept fighting his grip and he'd usually be out of it without a fight, but he felt so weak. And that dizziness never went away. What was happening to him?..

His answer came out of the bathroom as Reynolds dragged him towards the back entrance. John Jay came by with a sly grin.

"What did you do?.."

He held up a packet of pills. "You really should watch what you drink. Turns out, James was after you and I hate you, so I helped him out. In return, he hurts you in the worst way I know how to."

"All that time in prison because of you and Maria. I know what I'm doing."

In John's mind, he was screaming and thrashing, but whatever Jay had put in his drink simply sucked the life out of him and he was hardly moving, hardly making any noise. He was completely at their mercy.

Thomas went into the bathroom only a minute later, furrowing his eyebrows as he saw that John was gone. Maybe he already went back into the- Woah! He almost slipped on some lipstick tube. He tutted and picked it up, furrowing his eyes. The color seemed a bit too familiar. He walked out and kept looking down, finding a phone.

He felt his heart drop.

He ran out into the main hall and looked around. Think... Think... He knew this building better than anyone there. Whoever was there would find a back entrance without a fire alarm. And the closest one was... This way! He began running and went straight out of the door, fire filling his eyes at what he saw.

He ran forward and tackled the other guy off of John, beating him down into the concrete until he heard the weakest voice coming from John, calling for him. He jumped off of the half conscious stranger and gave him one last strong kick before going to John. "I'm here for you.. I'm going to see how hurt you are, okay?"

He made sure to wait for a weak nod from John before he checked under his skirt. John didn't seem to be too badly hurt, but it was clear that Thomas had only gotten there seconds too soon. He heard a camera click from behind him and turned around, growling as he saw John Jay with a phone.

“I tried to be your friend, Thomas. Have fun getting your reputation back up after this.”

Thomas jumped to his feet and grabbed the stupid thing from Jay’s hands, smashing it too pieces against the ground, about to do the same to Jay himself.

John moved around a bit and tried to sit up. "Tho... Thomas... Home..." he whimpered.

Thomas paused, giving Jay just enough time to run, and let his expression soften before he turned to John. "We have to get you some help, sunshine..”

John whimpered and shook his head.

“I’ll be with you the whole time. We have to make sure you’re okay.”

After another few seconds, John replied. “Okay...”

“Can I pick you up?.."

He nodded.

Thomas scooped him up and carried him to his car, reclining the front seat as much as he could. "Are you hurt anywhere?.. He didn't hurt you anywhere else?"

John shook his head. "He touched me..." he whimpered. "Jay.. bad stuff in my drink..."

"He drugged you?.." He sighed. "I'm calling the police. I'm not letting that monster get away with this and I'm not letting Jay run free, okay?"

John cried softly and nodded, curling up as Thomas stepped outside and did just that.

When the police and ambulance arrived, Thomas sat with John in the back of the ambulance, holding his hand as the paramedics took his vital signs.

Jay was dragged out of the building kicking and screaming and an officer behind him had the pills that he'd kept in his pocket in an evidence bag. James Reynolds was in an ambulance too, but with more officers than anyone else.

Thomas sighed. "Do you want me to get Alex?.."

He shook his head and held Thomas's hand tighter.

He nodded and kissed his hand. "Can I tell him what happened? I'll tell him you don't want anyone else around."

He nodded and Thomas did just that, seeing that Alexander had been spamming his phone.

[tomas, wers jon? I cant find him] [serisly, im worying] [if ur doin da do jus tel me, but im woryd] [tomas, thers cops and ambulans her, wer r u nd jon?] [tomas, pls! jon wont nsr me eder!]

[I'm here and John's with me. I'm going to tell you what happened, but John doesn't really want me to let you come along. xx]

[ud betr not b fucin lyng]

[I'm serious, Alexander. I told you I'd never do anything to hurt John. xx]

Alexander frowned. He just wanted to know that John was okay. [fin]

[John got drugged by John Jay and sexually assaulted by this James Reynolds guy or something. xx]

Alexander felt his heart stop. He completely shut down, unable to respond, unable to talk, unable to think. What was he supposed to think? Supposed to do? Go to sleep and act like his boyfriend hadn't just almost gotten raped? Like he didn't want him to be there right now?

"Alexander, are you alright?.. Where's John?.."

"I... I..." He began clamming up and just gave his phone to Lafayette, who went pale at the texts before frantically responding. [It's Lafayette, can I com and make sure hes okay?]

Thomas frowned and asked John. "Do you want to see Lafayette?.."

He thought for a few seconds before shaking his head. "Just you..."

"Alright.." He figured that John would change his mind later, but for now, it was best to just listen. [I'm sorry, I really am, but John says he doesn't want to see anyone else. xx]

[Thomas, if you are lying to me, I will castrate you with my bare hands.]

[I'm taking you serious, Laf. I need you to trust me for John's sake, please. xx]

He sighed. [Fine.] He gave Alexander back his phone. "Maybe he just needs his space right now... He doesn't want to see me either. He's not mad because of the pamphlet." Of course he knew that Alexander thought it was because of that.

And Lafayette was right. Alexander visibly relaxed at hearing that it wasn't only him, but only by the slightest amount. He was still worried about John.

"Let's go home, okay?.. We can talk to him later, I promise. He's going to be just fine."

Alexander nodded and let Lafayette lead him out of the hall, joining the rest of everyone in a flood towards their cars.

Lafayette sat with him in his car for a few minutes, letting everyone get to their own and letting the crowd clear up as he called Hercules. "I'm going to be with Alexander. I have to make sure he's okay."

"What about you, Laf?.. I want to make sure that you're okay too... John is like a brother to us both.."

"I'll be fine.."

Alexander reached up and grabbed his wrist. "Let him over.. He can sleep with us as long as you two aren't all gross.."

Lafayette smiled softly and nodded. "Why don't we all stay together? You, me, and Alexander?"

"Alright. I'll pick up Rosie and some clothes, then I'll be at yours. I'll see you then, baby."

"I'll see you then." Lafayette hung up and began driving, taking Alexander home.

Luckily, George and Martha were already asleep, so they got upstairs without a problem, changing in their own rooms before laying down in Lafayette's.

When Hercules got there, Lafayette let him in and he joined them upstairs with little Rosie, laying down with Lafayette and Alexander. He kissed his datemate's cheek and they all fell asleep.

Thomas paced around the waiting room as he was forced to stay there, John getting checked out somewhere in another room. He only stopped when a nurse came in, calling his name. "How is he?"

"He's going to be okay. We want to keep him just until the drugs leave his system, then do another quick evaluation, but, from the details we got from him, we highly doubt that he could have contracted any diseases, though we did make sure to test him. He should be getting those results in a few days or a week. Over all, John is going to be just fine."

Thomas sighed and relaxed. "Thank you so much.."

"It's my job. You can come see him and I think you can make a case for staying the night. You're his boyfriend?"

Thomas nodded.

"Then having you here should be nothing but beneficial for him." She smiled and led him up to John's room.

The freckled boy was laying in his bed, watching the tv in the corner and wearing a hospital gown underneath the blankets. He smiled as he saw Thomas and opened his arms for him, hugging him as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Thank you.."

"No need to thank me.. Even if I wasn't your boyfriend, I would've kicked that guy's ass without a second thought."

The nurse smiled. "He's going away for a long time. He may not have done any permanent damage, but it was damage all the same and he does have a record."

John nodded. "Thanks.."

She nodded and walked out.

Thomas laid down beside John and put an arm around him. "How are you feeling?.."

"High as hell... But I've been worse."

"Poor baby.." He kissed his forehead. "Do you need anything?"

He shook his head.

"You still don't want anyone else here?"

He shook his head again. "Just you.."

"That's fine." He smiled a bit.

"Thomas?.."

"What is it, baby?"

"Is the dress okay?"

He chuckled. "It's not in too bad shape. I'm sure Sarah would understand and help you."

John just nodded.

"Go to sleep, sunshine."

He nodded again and fell asleep, Thomas sleeping beside him.

In the morning, John woke up to a gently nudge from one of the nurses, Thomas still fast asleep beside him.

"Sorry to wake you.. I just need to ask a few questions about your condition."

He nodded. "Okay.."

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm kind of sore everywhere.. And my head kind of hurts, but I'm not too bad. Like, if I had the flu."

She nodded and wrote that down. "Is there anything else?"

"No. I'm alright otherwise."

"Great." She smiled and gave him a brochure for a therapist. "I recommend seeing this doctor when you're ready. It's not necessary in the healing process, but I highly recommend it."

John nodded, pretending to consider it. "Thank you.."

"Of course. We just need to run a few quick tests, then you'll be ready to leave."

He nodded again and let her test his reflexes. He couldn't even let them test his pupil dilation the night before because he cried and thrashed as soon as it started thanks to how blown out his pupils already were. And Thomas had to hold him as they took his temperature and hold his hand as they got his dress off and checked him for physical damage. He was a mess made a whimpering child by drugs.

"All done."

John blinked a few times. Already? He only vaguely remembered a few followed instructions, but it seemed that he'd spent his attention on his own internal turmoil.

Thomas began to stir. "What time is it?.."

"It's just about to be 8 in the morning. Mr Laurens is ready to go home once you're ready. You can run and bring him a change of clothes, if you want."

Thomas nodded, then sat up and stretched once the nurse left. "I'm going to get you some clothes."

He nodded and gave him his key, checking his phone as he waited. He sighed as he saw all of the missed calls and messages mainly from Alexander. He called him, knowing that would put him more at ease than just a text.

Alexander had been half asleep, but answered in record time. "Hello?"

"Hey... It's me.. I'm okay.."

"John... Thomas told me what happened last night. I'm so sorry.."

"I'm going to be okay, I promise. I hope you know I'm not mad at your or anything... I just don't really want to see anybody.." He didn't want to be coddled, made to feel like what happened broke him. It hurt, but John had easily been through worse. Thomas knew how he wanted to be treated, not in any way special, but like he had someone there if he changed his mind. Lafayette was too soft as to try not to treat him any differently and Alexander saw John as fragile, as he'd already made clear. And Hercules would no doubt treat him differently, too, seeing John as a younger sibling. Thomas was probably the only person who wouldn't since he understood what it was like not wanting to be treated differently, most people did just that when they learned just how rich his family was, and he understood that he wasn't the only one who felt that way.

When he came back, John changed into the outfit that he'd brought him, just a simple shirt and some sweatpants, then went with him back to his apartment. John immediately took a nap with Thomas, then got up and ordered some pizza a few hours later, neither of them feeling much like cooking. John ate most of it, though he made sure to leave enough for Thomas, then got up and pulled his shoes on, looking at Thomas.

“Want to come with me?”

He got up and grabbed his shoes before asking, "Where are we going?"

"I kind of just want to go to the gym.. Blow off some steam, work out a bit or something."

"That sounds good." While he’d gone out to get John some clothes, he'd also gone home and quickly changed into a tee shirt and shorts, ready to just relax for the whole day, so he was ready. He got up and went to the door with him, walking out behind him. "Where are you going?" he asked as he walked right past the car.

"I prefer to walk."

Thomas nodded and followed him down the street. John seemed independent on the outside, but they both knew that he needed Thomas following him and keeping an eye on him for a while. "So.. what did you say to the nurse about therapy?.." He knew it was a sensitive topic, but he wanted to see what John would see.

"I said I'd think about it, but I threw the brochure she gave me into the trash.."

"I get it.. Nobody's forcing you to do anything."

John nodded and flinched as he leaned against a light pole at a crosswalk, feeling the sharp sting of static. It normally didn't bother him, but he couldn't help it, not while he was thinking of that time only moments before.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah.. I'm alright." And this time, he was telling the truth. Of course, the memories still made him jump sometimes but it was nothing serious anymore. Not like the time when he burst into tears after someone offered him a stick of gum, only for it to shock him. That was so embarrassing...

"Alright." He kept following John until they got to the gym. As usual for the weekends, it was fairly empty, so the pair played some music as they sat in the weight room, not talking much because, frankly, they didn't have to. The few shared glances or song lyrics that they sang out loud was more than enough to know that they were both okay. Things weren't great, but it was a good start.

Once they were warmed up, they headed into the boxing ring at John's request and after his promise of not hurting Thomas. It was an interesting match up. Thomas wasn't too largely built to be fast nor was he too thin to be strong while John was thin and shorter, but strong for his size and with speed to match it.

But Thomas wasn't a boxer. John saw his moves from a mile away and it was only a few minutes before John won the match.

"Alright, you got me. As the runner up, I get to give your your prize."

John smiled and leaned up, letting Thomas give him a quick kiss. "And as the winner, I declare this day to be over. I'm ready to go home."

"So am I." Thomas smiled and followed him out, then walked back with him, getting a call from his mom as they walked. He tutted and answered. “Hello?”

"Thomas, where are you and Lucy?"

"Lucy's at a sleepover with her friends this weekend and I'm with my friends."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

He rolled his eyes, knowing just what to say to get out of this. "I did."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Well, have fun then."

He sighed as she hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. It'd been that way for years, probably ever since Lucy was born. No, even before that. Always, maybe. It was so easy for Thomas to get away with anything when no one paid attention. It was one of the reasons he'd fallen for John so fast. He did.

When they got to the apartment, they laid on John's couch with pizza that they'd picked up on the way and put on a movie, spending the day quietly.

[redgillan]

Breaking the Rules - part 2

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary:  Modern!AU You hate James Barnes with a burning passion and the feeling is entirely mutual. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, you are tricked into attending his sister’s wedding as his girlfriend. Stuck with a bunch of strangers, you come up with a set of rules that are not going to last long.

Word Count:2,205

Warnings: The usual + Angst

A/N: I’m spamming you guys with fics lol sorry. Also please, don’t let this series flop, I beg you! Alright, I’ll stop whining now. Enjoy :)

Breaking the Rules - Masterpage

You woke up from your nap and stretched your arms over your head since there was no one sitting next to you. The book Bucky asked ordered you to read was on the empty seat next to yours. With a heavy sigh, you picked it up, threw it in your travel bag and left.

Bucky was waiting for you on the platform, his foot tapping impatiently. The next couple of days were going to be the longest of your life.

“Okay, so our weekend starts now,” you said, shoving your bag into his arms. “Rule #4 you have to carry my bag,” you reminded him.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m already carrying three bags. I am not a donkey!”

You took a step back and looked him up and down. Blowing out a frustrated breath, he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. He was carrying his suit on a hanger covered with plastic, a clip-on backpack and a messenger bag. The muscles in his jaw clenched when you shrugged.

“Not my problem,” you replied.

With a loud grunt, he slung the strap of your bag over his shoulder.  If looks could kill, you’d be dead by now. You tried not to show your amusement, but it was difficult to keep a straight face.

You fell into steps beside Bucky as you exited the station. His parents stood out among the small crowd, not only because of their size but because they were freakishly good-looking. His mother was waving her hand vigorously, a giant smile splitting her face.

“What’s your mom’s name?” you panicked.

Bucky’s head snapped toward you. “You didn’t read the book?”

“I fell asleep after the first paragraph. You have a very boring life.”

“For fuck’s sake! I have to obey your every whim, but you can’t read a few pages?”

“A few? It was over 200 pages, Barnes!” you whispered loudly as Bucky’s parents walked toward you.

“Stop calling me Barnes,” he hissed with a fake smile.

Mrs Barnes caught her son close in a bone-crushing hug, making him drop the bags. She pulled back to look at him, then hugged him again. Bucky hugged her back for a moment before he tried to wiggle away.

“Okay, let him breathe, Winnie,” his father laughed.

“I haven’t seen him in years.” She reluctantly let him go and gave him a disapproving look. “Why are you so skinny?”

“Ma’,” he whined, embarrassed.

Bucky was a lot of things, but skinny wasn’t one of them. His broad shoulders stretched the fabric of his jacket and his long muscular legs were encased in blue denim jeans, which he filled out quite nicely.

You blinked yourself back to reality, your face flaming hot. Realizing you must have spaced out, you cleared your throat.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs Barnes,” you said with a polite smile.

“Oh, please, call me Winnie. Mrs Barnes was his mother,” she said, gesturing to her husband.

His father introduced himself as George and held out his hand to shake yours. You stuttered slightly as you told him your name. Bucky was a carbon copy of his father, the only difference being that his father had more grey hair and wrinkles.

“We’re really happy to have you here,” he said, smiling brightly. “But we should get going or we might get caught in traffic.”

George gathered the bags and placed them in the trunk while you all took a seat. Bucky opened the door for you –rule #5- and sat next to you. You resisted the urge to squirm and turned your head to glance out the window.

The light of day was slowly fading into night and you focused your attention on the scarlet streaks flooding the darkening sky. It was so peaceful and quiet until Winnie spoke.

“Normally I wouldn’t allow you to sleep in the same bed, you’re not married after all, but since Nana is staying with us, we don’t have a spare room.” She looked over her shoulder to the back seat. “So behave.”

“Yikes! Don’t worry,” you replied and continued to stare out the window at the passing scenery.

She gave a satisfied nod and turned the radio on. You let go of the tension in your shoulders, lost in the comfort of the singer’s voice. You pulled out your phone and opened your text app. There was a message from an unidentified number.

‘Yikes, don’t worry’ ??? You sound so in love *eye-roll emoji*

You lifted your head to look at Bucky who was typing away on his phone. He pretended not to see you.

How did you get my number? you texted back.

Natasha.

You groaned out loud. Nat was a pain in the ass and you didn’t need her constant meddling. George peeked in the rear view mirror to make sure you were alright.

“Everything’s okay?”

“Oh, uh, yes.” You felt your face grow hot. “I just received a text from a weird man who keeps trying to befriend me.”  

A soon as the words left your lips, your phone buzzed in your hands. “Fartface,” was Bucky’s mature response. You saved his number under the name ‘Buttface’ and grinned to yourself as you pocketed your phone.

Soon after, George parked the car in the driveway that led to a beautiful two-story stucco house. There was a two car garage on the side of the house and the wraparound porch was crowded with fancy furniture, including a swing covered with pillows. It wasn’t a large house, but it looked like a nice place for kids to grow up.  

As soon as Winnie climbed out of the car, a girl ran toward her. She was tall, slender and had long brown hair with golden highlights.

“Becca just called,” the girl said, a little breathless. “There’s a problem with the car, but they’ll be here tomorrow.”

“Okay, I’m gonna try and call her. Your brother’s here.”

Brushing a hand across her daughter’s shoulder as she passed her, Winnie climbed the steps to the porch and disappeared through the front door. George followed her into the house, carrying most of the luggage. 

You felt a pang of remorse; your rules only applied to his stupid son. Before you could take a step toward him, Bucky’s sister appeared before you.

“You must be Bucky’s girl. I’m Elizabeth, but everyone calls me Lizzie.” She smiled as she took your hand and shook it hard. “I’m so happy to finally meet you.”

You tried to smile, but her enthusiasm was a little too much to handle. It was late and you just wanted to eat and go to bed. Bucky caught his sister when she launched herself at him. He hugged her tight, closing his eyes for a moment. Lizzie pushed him away when he blew a raspberry on her cheek.

“We’re having a barbecue at Steve’s house. There’s plenty of food and stuff. You can freshen up and then we’ll eat!”

Bucky showed you around the house while his parents and sisters went to the neighbour’s house.

The kitchen had two accesses, one from the living room and another from the laundry room. The guest bedroom was at the end of the hall between the master bedroom and a two-piece bathroom. 

The living room was connected to a stairwell that went up to the second floor. At one end of the hall were Bucky’s bedroom and a bathroom and at the other end were three bedrooms.

“How many sisters do you have?” you asked, once you were in his bedroom.

“Now you wish you had read the book, uh?”

“Kind of,” you admitted.

You looked around you, glancing at the simple bed against the far wall. You had expected to see a large bed and posters of bikini-clad girls on the walls, but there was none of that. It was like being inside a time capsule. Back to the 00s.

Bucky sat down in the old swivel chair behind his desk and clapped his hands once, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Okay, let’s recap. I’m the oldest, then it’s Rebecca. You saw Lizzie downstairs, she graduated from Brooklyn Law School last year and Mary’s still in high school.

“My dad did two tours in Iraq and now he runs a restaurant with my best friend, Steve, who lives next door. My mom’s an accountant.”

You nodded. Your mind was racing, trying to process all the information Bucky had given you. It wasn’t easy, mostly because you didn’t care, but also because it had been a long and tiring day.

“I think I’ll remember,’ you said, rubbing your temples. “Where are you going to sleep?”

“There’s a sleeping bag under the bed,” he replied. “It’s old, but it’ll do.”

“Okay. Can we go now? I’m starving.”

Five minutes later, Bucky led you into the backyard of his neighbour’s house where his family was waiting for your arrival. Bucky introduced you to his sister, Mary, his best friend, Steve, and Steve’s wife, Peggy. 

You sat between Mary and Bucky and smiled politely as Winnie passed you a bowl of creamed green peas.

You made small talk with Bucky’s sisters, even though you hated the awkwardness of it. You found out some juicy gossip about Bucky and made a mental note to tease him about it later. Steve and George were talking about the restaurant while Winnie scolded her only son.

“You never call, you never visit. We didn’t even know you had a girlfriend!” she said, nodding toward you.

“Ma’, I’m sorry. I just have a lot of work, y’know. But I’m here now.”

Winnie waved her fork at him before she stabbed a slice of melon. “We’ll talk about this later.”

You heard Bucky gulp and you almost felt sorry for him. He knew his mother would nag him about it. She always had to be right and have the last word about everything.

You were so caught up in Mary’s story that you didn’t notice that Bucky had left the table. He had quietly slipped into the house with Steve and Peggy. The couple had some news they wanted to share with him, but they were afraid of his reaction.

“So,” Steve broke the silence after Peggy gave him an encouraging nod. “Your girlfriend seems great. You finally hav-”

“She’s a fucking pain in my ass,” Bucky groaned. “I thought I could do this, but I can’t. It’s impossible.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m not dating her,” he explained, rolling his eyes as they stared at him, confused. “Seriously? You really thought we were dating? C’mon, we have nothing in common and she stands three feet away from me like I have the plague or something.”

Peggy snapped out of her confused state. “Who is she?”

“My neighbor’s best friend. Honestly, it was her idea. We can’t stand each other.”

“But... but...” Steve babbled, unable to form a coherent sentence. “Why?”

Bucky took a deep breath, hoping it would calm his nerves. “It’s just... I can’t show up alone, y’know? I can’t let Dot win. She needs to see that I’m happy and in love.”

“Bucky, don’t do that to yourself.”

He bit back in a silent groan. He knew it was crazy, but he hoped that his friends would understand why he had to do it.

“Ah, there you are! I thought you were hiding from me.”

His body automatically cringed at the sound of your cheerful voice. It sounded so fake. He knew you were enjoying this.

“What do you want?” he asked abruptly.

“Oh, you’re a Grumpy Gus today,” you exclaimed with a fake gleeful laugh and gave him a pointed look. A look that said ‘If you don’t calm down they’re gonna know we’re faking it.’

“They know we’re not really dating.” Bucky gestured loosely toward Steve and Peggy.

“Thank God!” you breathed out, dropping the act. “It’s exhausting having to put on an act all the time.”

“You don’t even look like you’re in love with me.”

“Oh, cry me a fucking river, Barnes!”

He opened his mouth to snap back a retort, but before he could, Peggy cleared her voice, reminding him that they were still in the room. There was no doubt in their minds that you and Bucky were faking a relationship.

“Oh, yeah, you wanted to tell me something, right?” Bucky suddenly remembered.

“I’m pregnant,” Peggy blurted out.

You felt Bucky tense next to you. He didn’t say anything, he just looked at them with an icy glare. Steve and Peggy waited for him to say something, but long minutes passed and a palpable tension began to build.

“Congratulations!” you said, giving them your best smile. “Sorry, it’s been a really long day. I think we should go.”

Bucky didn’t look at you as he bolted out of the room. He mumbled an apology to his parents and headed back to the house. You had to run to catch up with him.

“What’s the matter with you? You’re acting like a real jerk. Can’t you be happy for them? This may come as a surprise to you, but not everyone wants to fuck around all their lives.”

He spun around so fast that you almost crashed into him. “You don’t know me, you don’t know anything!”

He rushed up the porch steps and slammed the front door behind him.

Part 3

[lunaschild2016]

Rebels Of Darkness (Suicide Squad Fic)

This is a story I have been dabbling with but since I know one of our fellow Jai-hard fans is also big on the Digger love...I dedicate this to you @sporadichologramblizzard-ed17414

Rated M: (Violence, Language, Sexual content) Supernatural, Angst, Smut, Comedy

Chapter 1

I gasped as I felt the funnel of death and fear coming from Gotham. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit about that cesspool, but I also felt that he was there. 

Cursing I threw on clothes, strapped on my knife holsters, gun holsters and then threw on my bomber jacket.

“Fucking Rick.” I muttered as I closed my eyes, focused on him and his essence and then folded space to him.

I saw his pinprick of light in the method I used to travel and sighed at the chaos swirling around him. Katana was there, so that was something. When I arrived I didn’t let my presence register, staying in whatever you called my cloaked state. I looked over their surroundings and who his other companions. Interesting choices. But it was a task force developed by Waller and that woman was certainly off her rocker.

I let my less than amused voice ring out without appearing. “Well, this place as certainly gone to shit.”

The three guys with Rick startle. One crouches but pulls a boomerang from somewhere and looks around wild eyed. One apparently has guns on his arm and is aiming for the general vicinity of my voice. The other with the tattoos looks dead at me but just tilts his head.

“Who are you?” He says with a heavy Hispanic accent.

Rick sighs and shakes his head with a growl and Katana moves to his side with her lips curling into a smile. “Fucking Ember!” He growls out.

I appear with a bit of a smirk and tilt my head. “Funny Rick. I said the same thing about you not even five minutes ago. Want to tell me what the fuck you got yourself into now?”

Katana bows respectfully to me and I return it. She moves to stand beside me causing Rick to growl at her now. “Traitor. I see how it is. Ember, I thought I told you that you couldn’t contact me.”

I shrug and take out a knife; starting to spin it in my hand as if bored. Really I am trying to cool my temper and reach out my senses. I see the guy with the boomerang eye my knife with a smirk but then eyeing me with something else in his eyes. He even moves closer.

The one with the gun on his arm looks to Rick. “Yo, Flagg. You want to introduce your girlfriend here?”

Rick’s eyebrow shoots into his hairline. “That ‘ain't my girlfriend dumbass.”

The one that had the boomerang apparently has decided I am not a threat and is looking me over appraisingly. “Well that’s good love. How about I buy us a beer later then?” He gives me cheeky grin with his gold tooth flashing.

Rick tenses as he breaks for a second but then breaks into a lunge and pushes him against that wall with his gun pointed at him. I roll my eyes and walk forward to stop him from doing something stupid. “Watch it Harkness. That’s my fucking sister you’re mind fucking there.”

I can’t help my laugh as I twitch my fingers and make Rick separate from the handsome Aussie.

“He offered to buy me a beer. Sounds like a better offer than I’ve had in awhile. Relax brother. We have bigger fish to fry here. Like why the fuck you ignored my warning about that evil bitch you seem to have gotten yourself mixed up with.”

My brother frowned at me and lowered his gun when I let my hold on him go. “You warned me alright. But I needed in to protect you, Ember.”

Any amusement I was feeling drained away at once. “Yeah? How is that working out for you? Seems to me like now she has you by your fucking balls. Literally big bro.”

Katana lays a hand on my arm. “We need to make sure she doesn’t tag you Ember. What she has done to these others…”

I can’t help the bellow of rage that escapes me as I see the images of what she has done and said. The walls start shaking with lights flicking off as cars start to explode. Tiles start to fly off the walls.

The girl with the bat gives me a wicked little grin. “I like her. Can I keep her?”

Rick scowls at her and then me. “No! Ember you need to go. They have surveillance cameras all over this place. They get wind of you and I can’t help you anymore than I can help June.”

We stare at each other for a while but I am interrupted by the Aussie moving to tower over me. His face is serious as he looks at me and I see something stirring inside of those grief crazed eyes. Something that reaches into me and calls to me. “He’s right Sheila. You don’t want to be caught up with this mess.”

I tilt my head and move closer to him, as if drawn to him. Rick interrupts my thoughts. “Ember, please?”

I break away my gaze and look to my brother. “If you so much as get one scratch because of this shit Rick; I will hunt the bitch down and gut her.” My chest is heaving as I make my promise.

Amusement and then annoyance passes over his face. “You don’t talk about superiors like that, Soldier.” He tries to use his CO voice on me.

I can hear snorts from the others and the Aussie bristles for some reason beside me. I scoff and roll my eyes.

“In case you don’t remember I ain’t a soldier anymore. That shipped sailed when I was left as bait and became what I am. They wanted a monster Rick, they got one. Oh and also, they kind of think I am dead. So there is that.” I finish with a shrug.

Rick comes towards me and nods. “We need to keep it that way, Sis.”

I feel his need to keep me safe and save his girl. I huffed with annoyance. “Alright Rick. I am not going to argue. For once. But I am going to help where I can.” I turn to the tatted up guy and open myself to him.

‘Diablo, use this when the time comes. You will know it when that time is, you will come to me and I will help where I can.’ I speak into his mind and in his pocket I place a stone I created that will do a one time folding of space. He will need that soon. I see his eyes flash with fire at my command and I know he will follow through.

I turn to Deadeye and I send him flashes. Flashes of his daughter and her feelings of pure love for her father. His is drowning and this will help. I also send a promise that he will see her again even if I have to break him out of his shit to do it.

The girl Harley is a tough one. I know what I can give her that would mean more than anything but I debate if I should. ‘Never give up Harley. You have never known the meaning of it before.’ I walk over and hold out something that only she can see.

Her eyes widen and the calculated craziness cracks to reveal the raw heart underneath. “Puddin” she whispers and takes the choker from me.

The last is George. There is so much I want and need to do for him but I settle for something a bit cheeky. I materialize a six pack for him and hold it out. “I got the first round for you.”

His smile tells me this was the right choice, for now. I can also tell he expects this not to be our last encounter. He would be right.

I look to Katana. “I can’t free him Katana. But I can give you this.” I open myself to connect to just his soul and let the two of them have a few words. I have to support her for a few moments after, letting her resume her composure.

I sigh and look to Rick. “Rick, when you see June again and she is safe, call me. I will come and see what can be done for her. If you get rid of Enchantress…..I will still need to see June. Remember what happened to me. It awoke something I already had and it could do the same to June.”

I see his face fall slightly but then he nods to me. “Edwards is with the other one. You don’t have to worry about running into him.”

I frown at the mention of my ex. “I’m not worried about running into him. He thinks I am dead remember. Kind of puts a damper in romance. Besides I knew he was fucking that nurse on base. If all that shit hadn’t happened I would have called things off anyways.”

Rick’s face flashes with anger. Apparently he hadn’t known about the nurse. “Son of a bitch. I will…”

I laugh and cut him off. “Moot point big brother. Alright, I guess I better get out of here. Don’t count on me not showing up again after this mess happens.”

“Yo, little sister.” Deadeye calls to me and holds my eyes. I can see a little less pain than there was before. “You take care. Keep your head down. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing you soon though.”

I give a wicked grin. “That feeling would be correct.” I look to my brother. “I don’t make idle threats, Rick. You know that. She pulls anymore shit, if she hurts you…”

Rick sighs and nods. “Well she is most likely dead so there is that.”

I shrug with a feral grin. “Let’s hope for her fucking sake she is. Would probably be a lot more pleasant than if I get to her.”

Harley grins. “Seriously, can I keep you?”

I wink at her before I prepare myself and reach out to fold space. At the last minute I connect to George. ‘See you soon Digger.’

[annayareads]

Fix the Tune of My Heart Pt. 2

PT. 1

“Hello, I am Derek Nurse, your director, and I am so excited to work with every single one of you.”

The people in the seats erupted into applause and Derek felt his nervousness fade away. All these people believed in him, the least he could do was believe in himself.

“To my cast, thank you for looking at my script and giving it a chance. You guys killed it in the audition process and I know that there are no better people to bring my script to life. I look forward to getting to know you and pushing you to be better actors as I know you will push me to be a better director.”

Just then Ford joined him onstage.

“Here is my better half, Ford.”

“I wouldn’t say better, but definitely more organized. Nurse here is the creativity, but I am the megaphone to make sure you all are here 110% every rehearsal,” Ford said with a small smile, but a fiery determination in her eyes. She was even more radiant when she was in Stage Manager mode. It made Nursey proud to call her his friend.

“She downplays how amazing she is. I never could have gotten this far without her. To my crew, you are the beating heart behind this production. You are all extremely talented in your areas of expertise and I couldn’t feel more proud to have you in my corner.All of you have something special within you, I just hope that I can let all of you shine. I have a great feeling about this group of people. I can tell that we’ll be a family in no time.” He smiled widely. “Let’s kick some ass, guys.”

There was a thunderous roar of applause as Nursey took a joking bow. Ford had somehow made a clipboard materialize.

“Now, if we could get you all in a line, so I can get your phone numbers for a group chat,” Ford projected out to the people before her.

The steady flow of chatter returned to the space as they began to line up.

Shitty came up to him and said, “What a glorious motherfucking speech man. Brought tears to my eyes. It’ll be an honor to work under you, you beautiful fucker.”

“Thanks, Shitty. I’m still so happy that you agreed to join the orchestra.”

“Of course, man. I’ll bang some keys for you anytime. Better go get in line. See you.”

“See you, Shits.”

Derek looked around then slipped out of the theater quietly. He just needed to breathe for a second. Just as he exited the room, he was knocked down by what felt like a speeding train.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry. “

“What?” Derek mumbled.

“I’m sorry. I’m late and then I had to knock you down. Fuck. Bad first impression.”

Derek blinked his eyes open and said, “Chill.”

“W-what?”

Derek’s vision focused and he immediately recognized who it was. William Poindexter had crashed into him. He should probably get up now and not stare at Poindexter’s gorgeous biceps in his plaid button down.

“Derek Nurse. I’m very happy to have you working on my project. I can’t thank you enough for reaching out and clearing your schedule to help me with my baby.”

He held out his hand and William looked at it then smiled and shook it. Derek felt his heart skip a beat, not gonna lie. You would too if this beautiful man touched you and smiled. Oh right, he should probably listen to what Poindexter is saying.

“I’m William Poindexter. It’s really me who should be thanking you. I’m excited to work closely with you.”

They smiled each other for a beat longer than is polite. Their hands were still interlocked when Ford came into the hallway frantically.

“Oh, there you are, Derek. Come in quick, you know how actors get when there’s nothing to do. Oh, hello, Mr. Poindexter,” Ford said.

The two men hastily snatched their hands away and glanced away from each other.

“We should go in. You can meet your crew,” Derek said.

“Sounds good,” Will said and began walking into the theater.

Ford was right the actors and crew were getting rowdy in the absence of a director. It had to be squashed before they hit the point of no return. He hopped up on stage.

“Alright, kiddos! I’m going to need all my actors to head out with Cosima over there. Cos, raise your hand!” A short Greek girl with hair to the middle of her back went on her tiptoes and raised her hand.

“Yo! Y’all ready to warm up those pipes for some truly melodious singing?”

There were a few stray whoops as the actors filed out of the theater.

“Musicians, you’re heading off with the one and only Georgia Martin who will be your conductor.”

Georgia waved and said, “Please call me George. Come on.”

“And crew, I’m going to be sending you with Ford to properly get acquainted with who you’re going to be working with and the delegation of things.”

Ford was already at the exit with her hand up like the omniscient goddess that she was. “Come on, my group.”

“Poindexter, you’re staying with me,” Derek called out to stop the retreating William Poindexter.

Will turned around and headed towards the stage. Derek sat down criss-cross-applesauce and hummed “Hopeless” before overanalyzing the fact that he was humming Eliza’s pining song about Hamilton while William was approaching him.

“What’s up?” Will asked.

“So, I wanted to talk set design with you.”

“I would hope that’s what 90% of our conversations are about,” Will said rolling his eyes.

“And the other 10%?” Derek asked teasingly.

Will’s skin started to tint a bit red, so Derek filed that in his mind for later before deciding to act like an adult.

“Just teasing, Will. Can I call you Will?”

Will shrugged. “Most people call me Dex, but do what you want.”

“Alright, Dex.” Nursey paused. “Yeah, I like that. Dex.”

“Set design?” Will said impatiently.

“Chill, Dexy. I’m getting there. We’ll be working very closely together for 8 weeks. We should get to know each other.”

“Whatever, Nurse.”

“Nursey.”

“What?”

“Call me Nursey.”

“O-okay.”

“Do it.”

“What?”

“For Christ’s sake, Poindexter.”

“Fine! Nursey.”

Dex was flushed a deep red now and Derek was alarmed by a strong rush of fondness. Usually, all those muscles and an attractive face only stirred up lust, but Poindexter was...something else. Be productive, Derek Malik Nurse!

“Anyway, so I was thinking about the set and I was really in love with the idea of having an entire set system rigged to the ceiling and all the sets get like dropped and lifted between scenes. I mean, obviously, the beds and shit like that would get brought in through our crew or stage managers,” Derek rambled.

Will had this strange look on his face. “And you want this set to be three dimensional?”

“Of course, Dexy.”

Will looked up at the ceiling of the theater and frowned. “No.”

“What?”

“No. That’s not going to work in this space or really in most places.”

“You aren’t even going to try?”

“Nursey, you realize that I’ve worked on many shows before right?”

“Yeah, why do you think I was so excited to have you here?”

“Then you also realize that I will know what I’m talking about at least 99% of the time?”

“But what if now is that 1%?”

“Trust me. It’s not.”

“Fine.” Derek pouted. His vision was already not coming to fruition. Will sighed and awkwardly patted Derek’s shoulder.

“We’ll figure something out that will look even better. Don’t worry.”

“God, you’re awful and comforting, huh?”

Will spluttered a bit before saying, “See if I ever do it again, asshole.”

“Aww, Dexy. Don’t spurn me so.”

“Whatever.”

“Chill.”

“I’m getting really sick of you saying that.”

“Chill?”

“Yes,” Will hissed through his teeth.

“You mean,” Derek started with an evil gleam in his eyes, “you aren’t chill with me saying chill?”

“You’re impossible! I’m going to find Ford, who’s obviously the only reasonable person I’ll be working with, and talk to my crew.”

Will stormed out and slammed the door shut after him. Derek burst into rolling waves of laughter.

“God, he’s hot.”

I have no idea how making a musical works. My knowledge is based on my experience in highschool theater. 

There’s a bit of flirting, y’all. 

[davetheshady]

It Devours! liveblog 4

Part 1 here

Part 2 here

Part 3 here

Chapters 21-30!

Nils and Darryl have a cunning plan: dress up like giant bananas.

By which I mean they’ll put on JoyCon’s ceremonial yellow robes, hats, and hoods, but, you know.

Nils will take Darryl’s place during the JoyCon service, while Darryl searches the offices for incriminating evidence – if he gets caught, they probably won't do anything too drastic. Despite trying to believe in Darryl, Nils still doesn't trust him, but doesn't have any better ideas.

and the simplicity of sPILLING IT ALL OVER HER DESK WHYYYY

Do you think this means, like, the Night Vale Erin Brockovich features Julia Roberts going on a telekinetic rampage?

Nils makes her way into JoyCon's main... churchy... place. They keep referring to the "stained glass columns" but I think they're actually just stained glass windows that are tall and skinny (so, like a lot of stained glass windows). Unless I'm wrong and they're an architectural installation by noted artist Dale Cthulhuy.

The proceedings begin and we find out too late that there is... 

folk music

Any relation to the Man in the Yellow Hat? Is Curious George the Leah Remini of the JoyCon community?

Pastor Munn then starts her sermon/slideshow.

This is literally just Tumblr.

FUCK OFF SPACE EGG

Honestly one of the biggest twists in this part is that everyone concludes prayers with "Amen", suggesting that JoyCon has roots in Judeo-Christian traditions. 

The more Nils hears, the more suspicious she becomes:

Ok, so this is probably going to turn out to be right, but hilarious I did not even blink at the rhetoric of the sermon, because most religions have their weird jargon, and you’d think that’d go double for Night Vale. This is like going to mass and concluding that Catholics are about to perpetrate vampiric cannibalism, what with all the body eating and blood drinking. (And no, you're not wrong, that would be an awesome horror story.) So it seems, idk, hasty that Nils treats this as an admission of guilt (and not just a potential admission of guilt, it IS pretty suspicious). 

This just in: Nils is a walking OSHA violation.

The Pastor calls on Nils to participate, but she pukes to avoid having to answer and blow her cover. Good thinking! She fake flees to the bathroom (again) and meets up with Darryl, who has found stuff a bunch of suspicious papers.

Unfortunately, they've been rumbled. Pastor Munn and Gordo(n) pull Nils and Darryl into the office, and Nils accuses JoyCon of plotting to summon the Smiling God to eat everyone.

Well, at least DARRYL knows what a metaphor is

Pastor Munn confirms that Nils is, in fact, totally correct about the Smiling God.

Eat them all and let God sort them out

Poor Darryl but also: this is hilarious

We then have a brief interlude with JoyCon member Martin for some reason, and I only mention it because apparently he's related to Shallan Davar. MOSTLY VOIDBRINGERS, PARTIALLY STARS.

o/` lightweaver, lightweaver / we know how to do it o/`

Munn and Gordo(n) let Nils go, confident that Darryl is a faithful member of the JoyCon and that there's nothing she can do to stop them. She agrees with them, to her despair, but she's determined to find Carlos and see if they can come up with anything. So she heads to the Grand Reopening of Big Rico's (for the record, still a big hole filled with worms).

Before she can clue him in, they run into John Peters - you know, the farmer - who apparently never remembers Nils' name:

And then they run into Janice, Abby, and Steve!

Adorable.

Speaking of families, Nils had gone back to visit hers, but it doesn't always work that well:

Sidenote: I have friends who celebrate it as a cultural/secular event, but Diwali is also a religious festival? Is Nils cool with family members potentially being practicing Hindus? That seems like it would be relevant.

Nils starts telling Carlos what she's learned, but they're interrupted by a gathering of hooded figures. John Peters - you know, the farmer - is trapped and falls in the pit! Nils tackles a hooded figure to save him! It's all very exciting and I have no idea what the point of any of it is, but she’s eventually able to join back up with Carlos. 

I am also screaming

.FINALLY, Nils tells Carlos what’s going on.

Nils is now determined that if anything is threatening HER town, she's going to stop it. Then she and Carlos discuss the hooded figures (which apparently are attracted to entrances to other dimensions??? So... all of Night Vale?? Those things are everywhere) and Carlos drops a huge bomb about the desert otherworld:

I don't know why he WANTED to stay there, with Cecil, if that's the case (c.f. “A Carnival Comes to Town”, “Monolith”, “Faceless Old Women”, etc etc) but whatever: that sucks.

Meanwhile at JoyCon, Darryl gets grilled by the church higher-ups, but his friends stick up for him. Awww, Darryl's friends. We also get some interesting info about JoyCon's history.

So... going by "Triptych", I guess Strex Corp forced Kevin into the Desert Otherworld, and when he got back he'd been brainwashed into the creepy person we know and... know, and started or perpetuated the Smiling God as Strex's official religion?

Anyway, the chapter ends with everyone shouting things like "For teeth's sake!" and "Joyfully, it devours!" Drink!

Nils wakes up from a nightmare she doesn't remember (lucky) and watches some TV.

Truly, Night Vale is a crazy backwards world.

But then!

Oh no! The gym! Janice! Nils' pants!

However, I think having Janice be in danger is actually less effective than the other pit victims? We definitely know she's still alive and playing basketball in the most recent episodes. But with Larry Leroy and Big Rico's and the Ralphs, it's hard to remember when they were last mentioned, so while we were assuming everything was fine with these Night Vale institutions, instead everything was NOT fine. There were horrible tragedies and we didn't even know.

Also, it turns out Janice is fine. There's a nice scene where Nils interviews Josh Crayton, who's upset that he froze and couldn't do anything when the pit opened up, but Janice took charge and saved a whole lot of people. However, as someone who works at a high school I have some SERIOUS concerns about their safety procedures throughout this whole section. Please evacuate the room with the GIANT HOLE IN THE FLOOR and don't let random people onto the campus, even if they are the main character!

Even though Janice is okay, Carlos is like, freaking out, man, and needs Cecil to comfort him.

...asphalt? Like, outside? Unless there's asphalt in the gym? Look, I don't know, it's Night Vale.

Take selfies!

Eww Pamela's tongue

Pamela tells Nils to stop interfering, because contrary to popular belief they're NOT actually cool with a giant centipede eating Night Vale, and if Nils stays involved she might make the Smiling God situation worse. However, we end with Carlos vowing to start interfering even more, because no one's almost eating his niece on his watch.  

As Nils leaves, one of JoyCon's sketchy white vans starts following her again. She snaps and decides to turn the tables.

Perhaps a sort of salute, with one finger?

She traps the van behind the Best Buy and demands a confrontation, and who should emerge but Darryl and his friends??

Well, okay, I guess that's not THAT surprising. We only know, like, five people in JoyCon.

Although I guess the centipede could have been driving. Now THAT would have been a surprise.

[lighterandpaper]

Who’s Real?

Photo by @nextgreenwave

George comes out of his tube and takes a breath for the first time. “Where am I!” he says. “It was taking me somewhere!” 

“I know, George. You’re safe now. You’re back at the dome.” Soren looks at the floor and bites his thumbnail.

George whips his eyes to Soren, strangely blinking, “Why do my eyes hurt?” 

Soren glances at George with a little smirk, “Are you intentionally referencing The Matrix?” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” George pulls his slime-covered body toward Soren. 

Soren realizes that George is covered in clone goo and also naked, so he grabs him a white robe. “Sorry--here,” Soren says. He helps him up and hands him the robe. “When Neo uses his real body for the first time, he says, ‘Why do my eyes hurt,’ to which Morpheus replies, ‘Because you’ve never used them before.’ You’re a clone, George.” 

George breathes deeply and stares into space, eyes wide. “OK,” he says. 

“That’s a nice robe,” Soren says. The cloth is like linen and billows luxuriously. “Seems like a lot to include on a space-dome...” he fingers the fabric. 

George adjusts the front and gathers himself a little. “You should really get Tina in here or something next time you do this.” 

Soren almost laughs. “You know, I had the same thought right before you came to life, but it was too late.”

George does not even smile, which does not bother Soren. 

“Ready?” Soren asks. “I think everyone will want to see you.” 

“Yes,” George says. “Help me, I can’t see very well yet.”

“Hopefully, ‘yet,’” Soren says. He looks at George. “Sorry...” 

Soren guides George down the hall. George has the look of trauma. 

Anna screams. “You’re alive!” 

Soren shushes, “This has never been done before, we should give him plenty of time. He seems to be in a state of shock.” 

Anna steps as close as she dares to George, now unsure, “What has never been done before?” 

Soren looks to Laurie. “Can you help me here?”

“I think we need to have a meeting,” Laurie says. “George, are you up to it?” 

George nods. 

“Alright, let’s get everyone at the table.” 

At the table; “I want to speak for myself,” Horatio says. “But I think that Anna and I are tired of feeling like the black sheep of this group. Am I right, Anna?” 

“Yes!” she says, frantic eyes. 

“Very understandable,” Tina says. “We don’t mean to keep anything from you, and we are going to answer all your questions right now.” 

“What is the deal with the clone thing? Is George a clone?” Horatio asks. 

Anna searches everyone’s eyes for answers. She lands on George, who is looking at his own hand. 

“Yes, George is a clone,” Laurie says. “Mr. Hand and Mr. Davidson set it up so that if we die, we will have a clone body with memories always staying up to date via a wireless system. An extra safety feature.” 

“I thought that you made us immortal,” Horatio says. 

“Being ageless doesn’t protect you from being mauled to death by an alien,” Soren says. 

“Soren, please,” Tina says, raising a hand. 

“... Ok,” Horatio says. “So, if we die, Soren has clones for us, and brings us back, like George?” 

“Well...” Laurie says. She sighs. “This is the awkward part... They only made clones for the original five. Me, George, Henry, Soren, and Tina.” 

“What the fuck!” Anna says. “What, we weren’t important enough?” 

“It wasn’t our decision,” Tina says. “In fact, we learned that it would be just us five before we even met you.” 

“Oh, that makes it all better!” Horatio says. “I knew you people didn’t care about us.” 

“What was the reason they gave you for only having five clones?” Anna asks. She looks at Soren. 

“We’re famous, and they knew it would look bad in the media if we died, I think they said,” Soren says. 

“Soren!” Tina says. 

“Might as well get it out in the open, Tina!” Soren says. “It’s not like we wanted it this way.” 

“So, your life is more valuable because you’re famous?” Anna asks, tears back in her eyes. 

“That’s not my personal belief, no,” Soren says. “But that’s obviously what the world thinks--thought. I forget, everyone is dead.” 

“Soren!” Laurie and Tina say. 

Soren blinks heavily. “I’m willing to be the bad guy here. We have to rip this band aid off...”

“Look,” Tina says. “We all acknowledge that it is really unfair and really shitty.” 

“You know what?” Anna says. “We’re also the least useful after we land. The pilot and the wormhole expert? They didn’t give a shit if we died.” 

“I didn’t even think about that, that’s probably true,” Soren says. 

“That explains why they included the metal dancer,” Horatio says. Gesturing angrily at Henry.

“Well, he was also famous,” Soren says. 

“For fuck’s sake, Soren. The truth is one thing, but damn,” Tina says. 

“You’re right, I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page,” Soren says. 

“Oh we are,” says Horatio. “We don’t matter to you.” 

“That’s not exactly--” Soren starts. 

“It didn’t kill me...” George says. Everyone turns to him. “I couldn’t move, so I’m sure I looked dead, but it just stunned me,” he says. He looks hard in the middle distance. 

“What happened, George?” Anna says. 

George takes a breath. “It stunned me somehow--felt like poison. And then it carried me. We went deeper and deeper into the darkness. I could hear it making deep clicks with what I think were other... reapers.” 

“Is that what we’re calling them?” Soren asks. 

George looks at him and doesn’t answer. “The things are intelligent,” he says. “I don’t know how I know, but I could tell. And they know we’re here now. They are intrigued.” 

“Yes,” Laurie says. “I sensed intelligence as well when I looked in its eyes.” 

“Suddenly, I woke up as a clone. It had never killed me, I don’t think.” 

“That’s possible,” Soren says. “The wireless memory updater has a range. Once the thing carried you outside the range, it would assume that you’re dead.” 

“Wait, so George could still be alive out there?” Henry asks. 

“He speaks,” George says, smiling a little at Henry. 

“It is possible,” Soren says. He bites his thumbnail. “Very interesting...” 

“I’m confused,” Horatio says. “Are you George or what?” 

“Yes,” George says. 

“So, how could you also be George out there? Who’s real?” 

“Who’s real, indeed?” Soren says, thinking. 

Everyone sits in the question. Laurie has a haunted expression. The yellow, brilliant eyes. 

“No more going outside,” George says. “We wait for them to return to us.” 

“The wormhole won’t be there to make the trip possible for a hundred years,” Anna says. 

“Not to mention that humanity was mostly wiped out. There’s no guarantee that they will come,” Soren says. 

“They will come eventually,” George says. “We just have to be careful and wait.”

[surrendertodaniel]

Surrender To Daniel’s Top 250 Tracks Of 2017ish (250-201)

Opening Blab

250. Kelly Clarkson - Love So Soft (Cash Cash Remix)

“Love So Soft” was always meant for a “the nice restaurant lounge at the good mall” EDM remix that could tear a dancefloor to shreds. Please don’t do that, though. That sounds expensive. 249. Trinidad Cardona - Jennifer

A sticky sweet singer-songwriter plea for forgiveness that might not win back Jennifer, but has done pretty well for itself. (As it should.)

248. Arcade Fire - Electric Blue

OH! I get the U2 jokes now! I kid. I kid. I really wanted to like the new Arcade Fire album for what it’s worth. I wish them no harm. Everything Now felt explicitly like the album in the 2-page magazine discography review that gets cut down to 10 words due to space limitations and WHO COULD ARGUE? I think “Electric Blue” is fantastic, though. It’s a smidge “Sprawl III (Electric Beyond Blue” and that’s cool by me.

247. Valerie June - Shakedown

“Shakedown” is the sort of tune that inspires me to dance around like I’m goddamn Scrooge McDuck doing a bunch of weird pointing and twirling and shit. (That doesn’t sound like an endorsement but it is. An enthusiastic one! “Shakedown” is probably a folk festival floorfiller parkgrassfiller of some sort, I imagine.)

246. Rozwell Fitzroy - Block Game

The ReBoot Reboot soundtrack is coming along nicely. (Let me imagine this.)

245. Fickle Friends - Hard To Be Myself

Sparkling youth activity centre pop that comes in its own shade of neon!

244. Katy Perry featuring Migos - Bon Appetit

Katy Perry’s Witness came across as a bit of a lame duck record after “Chained to the Rhythm” missed the mark, didn’t it? It didn’t really help that the videos seemed second tier (or like a “favor” from JibJab in the case of “Swish Swish”) and that clunky SNL showing. Even if Witness isn’t my cup of tea (I’m rooting for the next Katy cycle)“Bon Appetit” is a first-rate muff-diving anthem with Migos making a welcome showing.

243. Chip - Snap Snap

Wait! Wait! Wait! Is that? Could it be?

Holy moly! How did I not put it together that Chip is the artist formerly known as Chipmunk? Anyway, Chip would prefer if his partner cool it on all the Instagram posting. The music video presents a convincing argument about this lovely woman’s endless selfiecrafting. I’m onboard for some sort of rebuttal track if that’s in the cards.

242. Borussia - Kinda Love

An infectious dance colossus whose power only grows by the number of bright cocktails taken in during your evening. Or morning. Look, I’m not here to judge. (Outside of this silly music judging exercise.)

241. Lady Gaga - The Cure

It’s been AGES since we had a Lady Gaga Thanksgiving special. I wonder if we’ll get one in like 2018. I hope she hasn’t had a falling out with any of the Muppets.

240. Sonamoo - I (Knew It)

I go a little too hard stomping to this K-Pop kiss-off. Like T-1000 (or whatever) stepping through that skull quarry in Terminator 2 only I’m far more prone to slipping on most surfaces.

239. Taylor Swift - ...Ready For It

2017 Taylor was not elite Taylor. (”Look What You Made Me Do” was a music video masquerading as a proper song, for goodness sakes.) Non-elite Taylor is still capable of incredible feats. “...Ready For It” reaches the sublime as its meticulously built ULTRA STADIUM POP grandiosity consumes us all. Just blinding pop light. It took me a while to get on the “...Ready For It” trolley, but I’m happy to be here.

238. Joyride - Aunty Tracey’s Cookies

If you’re going to get creative with your cookies, do so with the hopes of having a blissed out anthem sung in your treat’s honor.

237. Carly Pearce - Every Little Thing

One of those classic country songs where if you see the listener’s face go a certain way you let them sing their heart out.

236. Eves Karydas - There For You An elegant and enormous part the seas anthem, plus Eves does some excellent slowly sliding down the stairs work in the promo.

235. Vic Mensa featuring Pusha T - OMG

A chain swinging, bubbling cauldron of a cut with Pharrell production teleported in from the ‘00s. By the way, if anyone needs a dopey white guy to say something like “oh my goodness” as the hook, gimme a call. Look for 21 Savage x Dan MacRae’s “Geez Louise” on iTunes in 2018.

234. Tigertown - Warriors (St. Lucia Remix)

A Capri-Sun kissed groovy remix of Tigertown with charm to spare.

233. Lady Leshurr - Juice

Lady Leshurr is the sort of entertainer where she’s do damn likeable that I’ve spent the past 3 hours imagining TV projects the English MC can do on the side.

232. Frank Ocean - Chanel

You know the Frank Ocean drill by now. Press play, immediately feel it in your chest.

231. DYGL - Let It Out

Albert Hammond Jr. endorsed Tokyo rock outfit DYGL have crafted a tightly wrapped indie gem with Britpop and Blogosphere First Wave tendencies.

230. Old Dominion - No Such Thing As A Broken Heart

The video for this is so quarter-assed (glass houses much, Dan?) that I have been increasingly MYSTIFIED with every rewatch. Like, the concept is that Old Dominion are in a video game world that’s stuffed with wacky high score gags and kwazy on-screen graphics. The execution doesn’t pan out, so instead it’s like you’re watching someone try to recreate a Christian edit version of Scott Pilgrim from memory and STARTED COOKING WITH GAS! The song’s fantastic, though. Arena country brimming with warmth and even a touch of Ed Robertson’s Barenaked Ladies output.

229. Super Junior - Black Suit

Unlike “No Such Thing As A Broken Heart,” the video for Super Junior’s “Black Suit” fudging ruuuuules, buds. The promo is the best piece of art involving an elaborate suit heist you’ll come across all 2017 and the entire operation looks awesome to boot. K-Pop’s Last Men Standing® teeter on the brink of jazztronica at times and it’s a treat DANG IT!

228. Barenaked Ladies & The Persuasions - The Old Apartment

Is this cheating? It is, isn’t? Whatever. BNL (a term used exclusively by cool insiders) and The Persuasions were a fantastic match in 2017 and combo performances like this update of “The Old Apartment” feel so damn alive I wish both parties would consider hanging out a lot more.

227. Ayo & Teo - Lit Right Now

As infectious as a yawn but lit (FUCK!) like a firecracker, Ayo & Teo are making Frosh bangers you want to throw paint to. Or maybe I just want to chuck paint. I dunno.

226. LCD Soundsystem - Tonite

Did LCD Soundsystem really need to come back? Probably not, but they’re welcome to stay. (Look at me! I’m doing rulings now, apparently. Ha ha, life.)

225. Pip Blom - Babies Are A Lie

Nothing will top “Babies Are A Lie” in the 2017 song title sweepstakes. Also the hook is an absolute dream.

224. Shay Lia - What’s Your Problem

Pulsating R&B brilliance that sometimes leads me to do ill-advised arm choreo on my balcony. (I’m allergic to rhythm so it’s a tragedy and I apologize to anyone that’s gone down George Street this year.)

223. Lauren Alaina - Doin’ Fine

Play this at just the right volume and you will be powerless to resist the urge to belt out this country anthem while wrapped in curtains, a comforter or both.

222. Jachary - Yellow Vision

An absorbing electronic pop blend (think a spiritual second cousin to Discovery) with a chorus that swings into action like a battering ram.

221. Cende - Bed

A melting ice cream cake of mid-misery assessment wailing power-pop. Or glower-pop if you will. You will not? I completely understand and apologize immediately.

220. Waju featuring Phantom Thrett - If U Wanna

Blissed out hip-hop soul that marinates nicely in the brain. The video’s pretty darn good too.

219. AOBeats & Annabel Jones - Strangers

“You run your heart like a club: One in, one out.” It’s important to note this is a fantastic dance number for anyone that enjoys doing mid-level theatrical glances in lieu of actual dancing. (Read: Me.)

218. CupcakKe - Barcodes

Burn your motivational posters, this horn-aided banger from CupcakKe will slap you in the face with ESSENTIAL life advice about knowing what you’re worth and not budging. Also CupcakKe has some awesome lines on “Barcodes” that made me legitimately guffaw. It’s not easy to pull the guffaw out of the Dan laugh library.

217. Aly & AJ - Take Me

I think I’ve been on about this before, but there was a brief time I confused Aly & AJ with Prussian Blue. Not important. What is important is “Take Me” which is a synth-soaked sledgehammer to the sky that sounds absolutely massive. It’s a big tune is what it is.

216. Tyler, The Creator featuring A$AP Rocky - Who Dat Boy

Ya blew it, Schoolboy Q. 

215. Joe Goddard - Music Is The Answer

Hot Chip boy Joe Goddard turns in an engrossing frosted electronic effort that feels like backstroking through gel in the nicest possible way.

214. Gabrielle - Nye Joggesko

“Nye Joggesko” glides, strolls and spikes like hybrid pop should.

213. Amber Coffman - No Coffee

Pastel (but not Pastels) tinted guitar pop that gets the “breezy” tag even though I wouldn’t quite put it in the “breezy” camp.

212. Diamond Platnumz, Harmonize, Rich Mavoko & Rayvanny – Zilipendwa 

Last I checked, “Zilipendwa” was embroiled in a saxophone copyright scandal. No matter where you stand on the issue, it’s 14 seconds of sublime saxophone worth fighting over.

211. Ugly God - Fuck Ugly God

“You act like a freak, but you ain't never sucked no toes.” Ugly God treats self-immolation like a superpower. Even though the dude is doing a vivisection of his own shame, "Fuck Ugly God” hits like you’re the one being powerbombed through a table. 

210. Royal Canoe featuring Begonia - Fussin’

If this Western Canadian folk festival tent is rockin’, it’s cuz of what Royal Canoe and Begonia are clocking. (Or there’s a live ferret rescue on the grounds. Either way, respect people’s space.)

209. Ah Mer Ah Su - Meg Ryan

“I’m a white woman, I can do whatever I want,” declares Ah Mer Ah Su on the marvellously woozy pop carousel “Meg Ryan” and yes, she does mention City of Angels on the track.

208. Wesley Gonzalez - Piece of Mind

Nervy indie pop that lands somewhere between They Might Be Giants and XTC. But NOT Adam Ant. (WHO IS THAT JOKE FOR? IMPROV KIDS BEATEN WITH THEIR OWN MEAD BINDERS? WHO?)

207. Smino - Anita

The T-Pain remix is gorgeous too. Be sure to tell T-Pain if you happen to hang out with him in the future.

206. Hannah Jane Lewis - Raincheck

THIS TRACK IS BUOYANT AS FUCK, GANG! There’s also a great bit in the video where a cursor has to choose between “Accept (heart sign)” and “Raincheck” which is something I like in a music video. Play your ace, Hannah Jane Lewis.

205. Mollie King - Hair Down

This is tacky-as-you-like pop the way only the Brits can do it (you can practically see visions of loud Panto ads if you close your eyes) and should poured down your gullet like it’s Tetra Pak booze. In retrospect I should have watched E!’s Chasing The Saturdays when I had the chance.

204. Ten Fé - Twist Your Arm

A Guardian review pegged Ten Fé as something like Madchester meets Springsteen, but “Twist Your Arm” is more a glimmering ‘80s AOR creature than anything else. Probably goes down a storm with Q’s readership. (Not a dig.) I can totally picture a lot of spouses doing intense bicycle repairs with this CRANKED in the garage.

203. Charlie Worsham - Cut Your Groove

Full points to Charlie Worsham for having an first tier country name. Say it out loud right now for fun. It’s great, right? Charlie lays out a sweethearted country self-affirmation anthem that feels like warm embrace on “Cut Your Groove” and I’ve done some power twirling to this.

202. iLoveMakonnen featuring Rae Sremmurd - Love

This combo effort would be quintuple platinum if satellite radio were still “a thing.” I am 10000% convinced this would have been gargantuan in that era. Fight me and my ghost on this and I’ll fudge you up, bud. I also believe this would be fantastic on Riverdale.

Vaguely Related: I’m behind on Riverdale and need to catch up on season 2 so my dad and I can talk about it at length this Christmas.

201. Allison Crutchfield - I Don't Ever Wanna Leave California

“Darling, you're too mid-Atlantic,” begins (ex?) Swearin’ talent Allison Crutchfield on this solo cut and that’s an incredible way to start a song.