#just some random thoughts idk this is very stream of consciousness

[awkwardtuatara]

I need a Mistborn (era 2) crossover with Discworld now. Imagine the possibilities. Marasi discussing the role of law enforcement and where its power comes from with Carrot and/or Vimes. Wayne and Nobby bonding over a) stealing (trading) b) crossdressing and c) teaching each other new tricks. Wayne would probably also get along with Moist really well, or establish an immediate rivalry. MeLaan finds out about werewolves and is like "TenSoon, stop moping in your cave, I think you'll like this" and there are discussions about shapeshifting and identity. Wax and Vimes share experiences and cases they've had, and Wax is like "it took me a while to get used to being back in the city but finally I'm at peace with it" and Vimes is like "this city has kicked me in the arse but it's my damn city, why would you ever prefer your Roughs" and both of them bond over suddenly being politicians and the awkwardness of formal events. Vimes is very agnostic while Wax is literally the Sword of Harmony, but neither of them are very fond of gods anyway so it's fine. Everyone's constantly freaking out over how many gonnes Wax and Marasi carry, either morally or practically. Vetinari's looking at Elendel and thinking about how functional it is despite having a barely functional government and semi-weak leaders. Steris and Drumknott get engrossed in accounting and filing systems. Vetinari looks at Steris' plans and wants to hire her, or maybe just observe her to see what she ends up doing; meanwhile Steris is analyzing the Ankh-Morpork political system and why it functions. Wax is appalled by the Assassins Guild and Wayne is fascinated by the Thieves' Guild. The Elendel Constabulary (somewhat normal) meets the Ankh-Morpork City Watch (typically unhinged). Death, a being trying to understand humanity, meets Harmony, a once-human who attained godhood and can barely handle it. Marsh/Ironeyes factors into there somewhere. Wax and Cheery talk about metallurgy and alchemy, and there are explosions. Kelsier pops in from his worldhopping journeys like "Saze, who are these people" and Sazed/Harmony's just like "please don't question it, it's working out pretty well."

[kruzbr]

hahh yea thats the stuff

rant time ig (and spoilers? idk if me just not being super happy with the new season/series is spoilers but just in case be warned)

idk man it feels like the show isn't even written by the same people as the original show. joanfk doesn't happen radada whatever but the writing just isn't the same either and I just don't find it fun anymore (sometimes I wish I could be one of u bleacher creature enjoyers, yall seem to be having the good time that I'm not having). the 'new crush of the week' shit that this show has become feels so juvenile and written like an early 2000s middle schooler it's crazy (it's a joke on dumb teen romances but what if I don't find it funny anymore? get a new bit please)

kinda just wished the reboot didn't happen, it feels like the writers are just doing random ass shit and forgetting the reasons why people liked the show to begin with lets not forget that a huge part of the resurgence was BECAUSE joanfk was so well loved and throwing that into the face of those fans is SUPER cool and does not make me feel so stupid for begging for a new season but whatever - completely threw away this chance of getting to continue this story that was ended too soon, which hey might just be a HBO thing but who really knows.

idk if this is gonna be the last time I'm doing fanart for clone high (after I finished this season I said I wasn't going to cuz literally nothing appealed to me to draw but quickly lied because I had some thoughts I needed to scream into the void lmao) but don't be surprised if that happens. sorry if none of this is coherent, very stream of consciousness and can't give more of a shit lmao

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

totally random and don't know if you've been asked this before, i've read your fics and drabbles, i absolutely love your voice in them, considering how you write Ian and Mickey so well, i'd give a penny for your thoughts about Mickey's lil bridezilla notebook. do you think it's full of collage pages? mostly text? magazine scraps? does he color code shit? ugh i love him sm 😩

oh my god i forgot the most important thing!!!!!!! did he ever let Ian have a complete sneak peek through it? cause i think he probably skimmed through it with Ian while the planning was on board, but Mickey probably stored it somewhere safe as a keepsake after the wedding....what if one day Ian just happens to find it and looks through it fondly and Mickey catches him on the act, oops, they have a talk about it, idk, Mickey having a lil notebook just does something to my fragile heart 🤧🤧

hello 😌 thank you for asking - i do actually have some thoughts on this, in the way that i think mickey's wedding notebook goes through several stages.

i think at its creation, it's more of a dump-book. mickey's at his stream-of-consciousness, hunting-and-gathering phase. there's no organization - no rhyme or reason - mickey is stressed and overwhelmed and he's just gluing shit right into that motherfucker, filling the pages as quickly as he can turn them. he doesn't really have a Vision yet - he just knows he's gotta prepare for it, especially since ian doesn't seem too interested in making decisions.

come to jesus moment. mickey slaps down a stack of pictures he's cut out and goes to start adding them, only to realize he has no blank pages left. he's filled the whole thing. that can't be right, can it? it's a big notebook, and the stuff he just cut out for it is real good shit so he's gotta make room. gotta start from page one. gotta thumb through it and pull a 'wtf' face because he doesn't even like some of this shit? why'd he put it in here? tulips??? who did that! okay, time to pump the fucking brakes.

paring down. re-evaluation. ian walks into the living room one night and mickey's cross-legged in the middle of a sea of ripped papers. like some sort of hamster. ian thinks perhaps divorce is on the table, only to come closer and realize mickey's cutting shit out and pasting it into a new notebook, the glue stick caught between his teeth like a cigar (Alternate Title: Ian's Come To Jesus Moment.)

notebook 2.0 is born. there's significantly less...everything. the Vision is starting to come together. debbie gives him these little color tab bitches that he can stick between the pages so he knows where to put things. Music. Food. Flowers. etc. mickey sits down with ian again and flips through it, getting his thoughts on different things. out comes the big red marker - circling - crossing out - starring. he can see ian trying to sneak closer looks across the table, but mickey's grown very attached. it's his hopes and dreams in here, motherfucker! ian can look at it later. after he finds the chiavaris.

That Bitch. this baby is in her final form. mickey knows what he wants and knows he's got the power to haggle, secure, or steal it all when he's got his notebook tucked under his arm. she's also good and solid when he smacks lip over the head with her after he makes a passing comment about being a groomzilla. she is everything.

when he does finally see his notebook again after many years, it's because ian is thumbing through it, this teary, fond look in his eyes as he sits in a sea of boxes. mickey doesn't know if he should be embarrassed or proud or what. a lot of their wedding day ended up shifting on its axis for a ton of fucked up reasons, so as gorgeous as she is, a lot of her didn't actually get to see the light of day.

but ian is innnn lovvvve (aaaaat laaaaast my looove has come alonnnggg). so much so that for their ten year anniversary, mickey walks into their little get-together and immediately recognizes a ton of the details. like they've jumped out of the pages of his notebook and into reality ten years later. ian is a sneaky fucker! and mickey has excellent taste.

and he's just really glad that he cut out that disgusting tulip arrangement in his first notebook purge.

[fangirlmedstudentblog]

Ok so hear me out. This is legit crack headcanon at this point, but since I've been thinking about this since MLC ep 5 came out. So.

Alan and Heart bonding. Heart finding an unlikely friendly mentor thing in Alan. (Like Li ming found in Wen)

Why? I honestly have no clue other than the fact that I love First and Gemini and Fourth and also Alan and Heart and I WANT MY FAVS TO INTERACT.

I want Alan to have known very basic TSL already. Why? Maybe because he had a HoH kid be one of his relative's kids. Also Alan has a soft spot for kids because I said so. So for them Alan already knew the basic signs for hello and bye and some random stuff but not in too much depth.

So since Alan works in a bank as a loan approver thing (i don't know what it's exactly called) and Heart is soon going to the US so it's highly likely that his parents might be taking a loan and what better place than the bank Alan works at right?

And for plot reasons Li ming is there as Heart's emotional support bf and also Heart's parents are still not as fluent as Li ming in TSL so he gets to tag along. But both sit outside of the loan room.

Anyways, when Heart's parents are there they have the documents for the loan thing and I'm not 100% sure but for education loans you have to show proof of the place you have to study at and stuff. Heart's parents forget that one of the folders is with Heart and then go over to him to get the folder and that's when Alan notices the parents signing at Heart.

It piques his curiosity but doesn't really comment on it. Then Heart's mom brings Heart to thank Alan or something (listen this is legit a stream of consciousness, i haven't thought of stuff in detail so far) and Alan to everyone's surprise greets Heart in sign. And Heart, the absolute best boi that he is, lights up like a chandelier out of joy. Even Li ming looks at Alan approvingly lol.

Anyways Alan puts the incident out of his head as he focuses on his own life and getting over his heartbreak and getting to know Gaipa over the dates disguised as 'handing over documents'.

Then a few weeks later he comes across Li Ming and Heart while he's visiting Gaipa at his stall where the two are buying bubble tea. Gaipa introduces Li ming and Heart and while Alan's face does a thing when he learns of Li ming's relation to Jim he lets it go because it's not the kids fault.

Heart gets very excited to see the stranger who knows his language and greets Alan enthuastically while signing rapidly and leaving Alan all confused and an endeared Li ming to translate.

And how do Heart and Alan bond together I don't know either but they just do.

I need Alan to idk be a cool older friend to Heart, and Alan finds himself a little healed by Heart each time he smiles. (Heart's smiles are adorable I find myself healing with each one)

I don't know, I want Heart to find an older queer friend with whom he can discuss stuff like Li ming can with Wen.

It's the gemini fourth first brainrot I have to blame for this, but honestly i just want Alan to smile more, First and Gemini have rather lovely smiles that deserves praise all the time.

[tomorrowillbeyou]

Have you read geoffs book yet? Ur my only thursday mutual (or person I follow idk if we're actually mutuals) and I desperately need to discuss how good the book was with someone else lmao 🙏

YESSSSS i have i thought it was really good!!! idk why i didn't post a lot about it on here i think reading is quite personal to me in like a different way so i don't stream of consciousness liveblog it like literally everything else .. i found it to be one of those books where ur reading a random passage and suddenly a whole running theme slots into place and u like shout out OMG YESS!!! this happened to me multiple times throughout reading it... also i forgot i was reading "geoff ricklys book" a lot of the time and just got invested in it as like a random book i was reading which is good bc i was worried i would kind of get distracted by that??? but at the same time i could still see the links i mean obviously to his life bc of the whole autofiction deal but also definitely to like a lot of thursday lyrics and other pieces of his writing that i have read which is super cool i love when stuff is cohesive like that.. whether intentional or not (<- just read that back that dounds weird like obviously i trust him to intentionally use motifs and such because he has a brain but like i think some of that can be subconscious too basically)... especially the whole generation loss business which ive been like really obsessed with for months so it was truly a huge day for annoying people when that all came up. also yea just the writing was gongeous... i was like trying soo hard not to cry at bits of it like it really touched me emotionally .. i mean this all very truly and not just because i live in geoffs ass like if it was rubbish i would say so i genuinely really loved it.... also this very vivid sense of like lighting and glow and like bursts of light and sparkle and stuff throughout was really like... idk i loved that i felt that sort of light sensation in my eyes very strongly almost. i read the start of it and then got busy for a bit and then read the rest in literally 1 day when i usually take like a month to read a book lol. im not very good at talking about books and kind of dont know a lot about how they work so sorry if this is really scattered and kind of silly <3 tldr yes i read it and i liked it a lot :]

[trashbaby92]

rough csm AU fanfic idea?

aka random stream of consciousness about a fic I'll never write.

aka ramblings of a brainrotted idiot fanboy.

Has anyone ever thought about a Chainsaw Man fanfic AU without devils, where the plot centers around the characters mental health and their trauma? Basically a slice of life, hurt/comfort, fluff and angst, and romantic (mostly Asa/Denji.)

Okay...

So a lot of the traumatic events the characters experiences are canon and I'd still use them. I'd add some non-canonical details that remain a mystery in the manga to help with this AU's plot. The devil's I'd turn into something else. I'd also wanna include characters from part 1 and 2 so that is also non-canonical obviously.

Asa first since she made me think of the idea to begin with.

We pretty much all (more or less) are in agreement that Asa Mitaka is autistic coded. Right? I'd keep those traits for her, for sure.

But what if Asa had DID too and Yoru is Asa's part/alter? I'd say due to watching her mother die and blaming herself for her death with a mix of the prolonged social isolation/loneliness she felt. She was physically alone without parents, living alone from a very young age, and because of her off-putting behaviors (autism) she found it impossible to make friends. I'm thinking her mom was the only person who really accepted Asa for who she was and supported her even though she has always been a little "weird." She actually encouraged her to be true to herself and not mask. But after she died Asa just closed herself off and isolated herself, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Yoru was made by Asa's fractured psyche and traumas and acts as an aggressive big sister, because Asa needs a friend and a parent. She's definitely a persecutor but she's also a protector.

Don't worry I'm not forgetting about Denji. I'd probably pair him with Asa in this AU.

I think in this AU Denji would have severe ADHD (which is pretty much canon anyway.) My problem is what would I turn the chainsaw devil into? I could technically just pull Pochita out and make him Denji's dog. Oh! What if Pochita was his psychiatric/PTSD service dog???

Denji would still be an orphan, but since canonically Denji's dad's death is still shrouded in mystery, I'd probably take what we do know and run with it. We don't know much at all actually. I was thinking for this AU Denji found his dad after he committed suicide, due to his huge debts. Denji is left alone to fend for himself.

I'd add in other stuff as I think of them, and I have more ideas but I don't wanna give them all away in case I ever do actually write something like this.

Characters I'll probably add:

AkiAngel (because I love them.) Power! (Because obviously) Yoshida, Nayuta (NOT MAKIMA), and Fami. Maybe more? Idk.

What do you think? Should I try writing it?

If you think you could do it justice, you can use this idea even if I do too, just tag me so I can read it lol 💕

[queen-pathetic]

Fic Writer Interview

I was tagged by @s1utspeare ! I am surprised that people still remember that i write fics since i basically stopped in the later half of the year except for NaNoWriMo lmaoo. so i will do this. 

name/nicknames: Angie or ang 

fandoms: Aight so DMBJ. I write the most of that. And Winter Begonia, but WB is usually just smut. I did write for Squid Game for a bit but stopped since the fandom was too much. 

two shots?: if this like 2 chapter fics?? i dont normally write that, and i have been bad at reading other peoples fics for reasons i wont disclose here. 

most popular multi-chapter fic: its a squid game fic, please dont come for me. People knew this fic before they even know me so that says something. Puzzle Pieces. I will not be able to write anything close to the amount of hits this got. 

actual worst part of writing: um writing. i am not a writer never have been, but i wanted to write because there were some things that i wanted to draw but i could not do it with my current talent. so instead i wrote it. i never expected for people to like what i wrote. so it takes a lot for me to share my work because im so scared of it not getting hits (aka why i stopped writing recently)

how you choose your titles: i stare at the blank “title” box on ao3 and cry for like 5 mins and then write something random. sometimes it loops back to the story, or its stupid and makes no sense. 

do you outline?: no. i literally write like a stream of consciousness. no thoughts. i only outlined for my nanowrimo fic since it was a daunting 50k that needed to open and close within those words. if its a multi fic with no clear ending i dont care. if its a one shot it means i already have an ending so i keep it 10k. 

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: no not that i know of. i had for a while wanted to do a idol AU for heihua but i suck at AUs so thats not happening. (it would be idol/bodyguard or even opera singer/bodyguard). 

i want to finish my current heihua fic but i dried up with ideas so it has been sitting unfinished for quite some time. I am not goof with very technically elements of stories (tombs) so i made a mistake by doing that two times in one story. 

callouts @ me: get over the fear of writing and comparing myself to everyone else. im a horrible friend and i dont read fics my friends write because i compare myself to their fics. i know im not a good writer so when i see my friends write masterpieces and get more hits i kind of wonder why do i even try. 

probably also saying im not a good writer, but i know im not lol even if people try and convince me. so i guess i got a lot to work on for now im just not gonna update until i feel comfortable with my product.

best writing traits: ...i just roasted myself for like 300 words so idk if i have good writing traits. oh only smut. i think im good at writing smut, which is weird since i dont do anything in my own life. its been a while since i have written actually but i think my porn without plots normally are good since i focus less on the plot. 

i also do a lot of heihua slow burn.  aka enemies to lovers. 

spicy tangential opinion: dont ask me for opinions... doubt what i say will mean anything. 

Tagging anyone who wants to do it. i dont have many writer friends (maybe i do idk) so i dont wanna tag people 

[shameless-gwynriel-stan]

Ok. So here’s my stream of consciousness, honest to god, random (spoilery) thoughts about ACOSF:

•this felt very indulgent on SJM’s part and I’m here for it, even if it’s not the book everyone had in mind, it’s so obviously the one she needed to write for her and these characters she loves and I support that

•I thoroughly enjoyed this book even if it wasn’t what I was expecting

•god damn I love Gwyn and so does my baby Az

•gotta admit, I’m not mad at Nesta for telling Feyre about the risk for her pregnancy. While I get their initial hesitation, they kept it from her way too long. Yes it came out in a nasty way but I’m happy Nesta told her

•wasn’t expecting them to handle the mating bond like that but it felt so in character I can’t be mad

•god DAMN that was good smut 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼 good. Smut. Amazing. Bloomsbury said “adult” and SJM said “say less”

•I ADORE the fact that Nesta’s thing is dancing. I wasn’t expecting that but it was beautiful

•would I have forgiven my father had I been in Nesta’s shoes? I’m not sure. But I sure as hell love and support her in forgiving hers

•this book made me love Az so much more and we hardly got any substantial stuff with him

•I called the Gwyn/Az thing WAY early on and I’m proud of myself

•HOLY SHIT AZRIEL SINGS. IM SIMPING SO HARD.

•I love Nyx

•I believe in Archeron supremacy

•I didn’t know how much I needed another solstice party but I did. After frost and starlight, this one was so much nicer. We love it

•high key, it could have been 200 pages longer and I still would have loved it. Like filling in some of that time between solstice and star fall wasn’t required but I’d read SO much content about it.

•she said we would know what was coming next but I don’t? After the Az POV, I have a strong inclination that the next one could be about him but the overarching story? I’m not sure. Like idk what they’re going to do with the Trove but my curiosity is ✨piqued✨

•this book made me feel so warm and fluffy when I was fully expecting SO much more of it to be painful (in a good way) and does it get corny at times? Yes. But holy shit this book made me smile

•literally still just thinking about Az singing. Jfc I need CONTENT with musically inclined Az. I’m eagerly awaiting the fanfiction.

[obsessionsdumpster]

A/N: sooooo idk what this is exactly, I just had an idea and decided to try and write my own fic for once though I’m not sure if it turned out good lol I think it’s a bit too long and I realised I don’t know how to write kissing scenes. Anyway please enjoy and let me know what you think

A Ninja’s Day Off (Kakashi x reader)

(Y/N) stepped into the Hokage’s office, finding Tsunade sitting by her desk, a pile of books and important documents surrounding her.

“Hokage-sama, I’m here to provide you with the mission report”

“Excellent, I’ve already received and deciphered the scroll your team has sent me with all the informations you were able to collect. It seems all went smoothly, good job (Y/N)”

Despite the formalities Tsunade and (Y/N) were rather well-acquainted, being (Y/N) one of the few Hokage’s personal ANBUs meaning that she certainly trusted her. Because of that, Tsunade glanced at the girl standing in front of her and even though she was wearing the ANBU mask, she could clearly see the exhaustion that was radiating from her, hence she spoke: “(Y/N), you’ve been out there constantly completing quest after quest for quite some time now, I know that is due to the high amount of missions the village is currently dealing with, but I can see you’re at your limit, that’s why I’m giving you the permission to take a couple days off in order to rest and recover”.

“Thank you, Tsunade” replied (Y/N) with a smile, and with that, she was off.

When she reached her apartment block, she opened the door and stepped inside. The room was a mess, to say the least: there were dirty clothes scattered all across the floor mixed with random ninja scrolls with all sorts of seals written on them, along with some kunai knives and shurikens all over the apartment. She sighed to herself, realising just how long it had been since she actually stayed in her apartment for more than 10 minutes or so, just enough time to change and pack for yet another mission.

(Y/N) decided that a nice hot shower would help her take away some stress and tiredness, so she headed towards the bathroom, stripped off her clothes and stepped under the hot stream of water that felt so nice on her bare skin.

After she was done, she stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her form, then, feeling her stomach grumble, she decided to head in the kitchen to have a snack.

Unfortunately for her, when she opened the fridge she realised that everything had already expired meaning that she had nothing to eat. Nice, she thought.

That’s when her eyes fell on a small paper bag that was laying on her kitchen table. She reached to it to inspect the content and saw to her delight that inside the bag were three big red apples, her favourite. Besides the apples she saw a small note: ‘figured you wouldn’t have much at home to put in your belly after being away for so long. Enjoy - Kakashi’

(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile widely at the kind gesture. (Y/N) and Kakashi had been best friends for a long time now, having been on the same team during Kakashi’s ANBU days and continued to hang out even after he left and became a sensei. To (Y/N) he was more than just her best friend though, for as time passed she started developing romantic feeling towards the copy ninja but always shrugged off those feelings out of fear of ruining their amazing friendship and because of the fact that a potential relationship would have been a rather difficult thing to handle for two Leaf Jounin such as themselves, their positions implying a dangerous lifestyle that put their lives constantly at risk; it wasn’t a secret that a normal love life wasn’t something that two Jounin of that caliber could aspire to. Truth is, she had been told by some people like Jiraiya (though he didn’t seem very reliable) that Kakashi did in fact return her feelings. It’s not that she considered that to be impossible, she had to admit that sometimes she could feel the chemistry between the two of them, but it was like they both shared some sort of unspoken agreement that kept them from bringing the relationship forward, preferring to stay as best friends. She would say she was fine with that, what she cared about the most was being by Kakashi’s side and she really enjoyed their unique friendship but she couldn’t deny that, sometimes, this situation made her kind of sad. (Y/N) thought that things were going to stay like this forever, but she was wrong.

Chewing on her apple, she started cleaning the apartment, picking up all the clothes from the floor and reorganising and storing all her scrolls. After she was done with that, (Y/N) finally sat on her couch determined to either take a nap or just relax. However she found herself just sitting there staring at the wall, boredom taking over as she started repeatedly tapping her foot on the floor. She was so used to so much action in her life that a simple day off was starting to become more difficult to handle than she could have imagined.

Suddenly an idea popped up in her head: ‘you know what? I’m gonna pay Kakashi a visit. He must be at the training ground right now, training with his team. I’m sure it’ll be fun watching him and team 7, maybe I’ll even be able to help him out, who knows’.

Thinking it would be fun to sneak up on them while they were training, (Y/N) approached the training field making sure to suppress her chakra to avoid being detected. She positioned herself on top of a well hidden branch of tree and, rather amused, observed what Kakashi and his team were doing. It looked like they were learning how to conceal themselves, judging from the fact that Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were all trying to find a good hiding spot to avoid getting caught by Kakashi.

Naruto managed to find a spot on the same tree as (Y/N) without noticing her. An idea popped to her mind and, with a mischievous grin, she appeared behind the blond’s back:

“Yo, Naruto” she said without a warning.

What came next was a scream and then a thud. Naruto had fallen off the tree and was now lying on the ground, his teammates and sensei approaching him, a puzzled look on their faces.

“W-Wh-What was that?!” said a shocked Naruto, followed by (Y/N) making her appearance jumping off the tree and landing in front of them.

“Hi everyone”

And before anyone could say anything, Naruto started screaming again.

“(Y/N)?!?!? Why would you do that??? I was perfectly hiding from Kakashi-sensei until you came and revealed my presence to everyone!!”

“Your ability to conceal yourself from other ninjas is the worst Naruto, it was obvious you were hiding on that tree” said Kakashi before giving (Y/N) his signature one-eyed smile “anyway, (Y/N) you’re back already, what are you doing here?”

“Well it’s my day off, so I though I would pay you a visit you know, to thank you for the apples and to see what you and team 7 where up to” she replied a bit embarrassed, realising she just admitted she wanted to see him on her day off.

“It wasn’t a big deal, really, I just figured you would like them” he said with a smile, scratching the back of his neck, which, (Y/N) thought, was kinda cute. “But since you’re here” he continued “would you mind giving us a hand? After all, ANBUs concealing techniques and chakra suppressing abilities are the best”

“Sure! When do we begin?”

And with that, Kakashi and her began teaching the young Genin all the tricks in the books.

When they finished practicing the sun was setting. All three team 7 members improved their skill a lot, especially Sasuke, but even Naruto did surprisingly well considering he wasn’t very well versed in hiding his presence, being the show off he was.

After saying goodbye to the kids, (Y/N) was left alone with Kakashi who, making sure his students were gone, spoke up:

“Well that was intense...are you hungry? We could stop somewhere on our way back and have dinner, if you would like to of course”

“I would love to! I’m starving, plus we haven’t hung out in a while, it’ll be nice to chat a little”

“Yeah” was what Kakashi replied, though he seemed, (Y/N) thought, to be a bit tense but she shrugged off that feeling once they started walking back to the village.

They decided to stop at one of their favourite cafes in Konoha (consciously avoiding Ichiraku’s ramen to avoid bumping into Naruto) to have dinner together and talk about the usual stuff like mission etc.

(Y/N) really missed talking to Kakashi, he was like a soothing presence to her, his voice never failed to make her feel a little happier then before. Whenever they were sharing these simple moments, even as just friends, (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel butterflies in her stomach each time. It was a bittersweet sensation in which she felt both very happy and sad because of the fact that she was in love with her best friend, but would be to scared to actually make a move.

She snapped out of her thoughts when food came and they ate in silence.

When they finished eating their dinner, they both exited the shop and started walking together through the village.

“So how was your last mission? You’ve been gone for quite a while. Tsunade told me it was a very important top secret mission” asked Kakashi after a while.

“It worked out somehow. I didn’t think it would take so long either but we had to deal with something unexpected which caused us to carry out the mission for 3 weeks straight”

“I see” said Kakashi before he went silent again. To be honest he was being pretty silent, not that he was and extremely talkative person, but still when he was with (Y/N) he would usually be more relaxed. This time however he seemed to be lost in thoughts and she found herself wondering what it could be.

They sat on a bench, admiring in silence the starry sky. It was a comfortable silence, each of them appreciating the others presence.

(Y/N) let out a small shiver when their arms accidentally brushed against each other.

“Are you cold?” asked Kakashi.

“No, I’m fine” she answered before letting out a long sigh.

“Is something wrong? Your mind seems to be somewhere else”

(Y/N) was taken aback by his comment, realising she had been just staring at the sky for a while, thinking about him, to be honest. She didn’t exactly know why but she felt the urge to be honest to him so she spoke her mind: “Nothing’s wrong it’s just- I really missed hanging out with you, you know, being with you and just talking about nothing in particular. And it makes me a little sad that these moments have become a rarity lately, because of our schedules and everything...”. She had no idea why she went that far expressing her feelings towards him. Damn this almost sounded like a confession.

When she realised what she just said, (Y/N) turned her gaze from Kakashi, trying to hide her face that was now a blushing mess.

Kakashi didn’t say anything. He was looking at her, a blush of his own barely visible under his mask. (Y/N) had never been this sentimental with him before. Could it be possible that she was trying to tell him what he wished she was trying to tell him? - he thought.

It was now or never, thought Kakashi. She had just opened up to him and now he felt like it was the perfect time to do the same and tell her about his feelings. “There something I want you to know (Y/N)” he spoke up, making the girl finally turn her face towards him with a questioned look.

“I really like you, you know, more than just a friend”.

That’s it. He said it. There was no going back, so he went on “I’ve been acting like we’re just friends but I can’t do it anymore because I think-“ he stopped for a second, thinking about what he was about to say “- I think I’m in love with you and can’t keep pretending otherwise”

(Y/N) stood there, her eyes widened and a shocked expression on her face. There she was thinking she had just made a fool of herself in front of Kakashi for almost confessing her feelings to him, and now she just heard him say he loved her??

Soon enough the shocked expression she wore was replaced with a closed-eyed smile: “I love you too Kakashi” she finally said, then added with a chuckle “I was scared to tell you ‘cause I thought it would ruin our friendship but if you put it like that...”

When she reopened her eyes she saw Kakashi lower his mask (which didn’t shock her much since being best friends for such a long time meant that she had seen his face in many occasions) and leaning forward, cupping her cheek. She did the same until their lips finally met.

(Y/N) thought that the feeling of Kakashi’s soft lips on hers was the best.

After a few seconds, they gently started moving their lips in unison to deepen the kiss.

When the two broke apart, gasping for air, they both smiled at each other.

Maybe, (Y/N) thought, things did change after all.

[incarnateirony]

If you still want an excuse to address the textuality of destiel, I will pretend to be a shit anon bc i'm honestly a sucker for your big destiel in canon posts :D cOUGHS i mean, (disguises my voice to sound especially wanky) supernatural isnt a destiel glory hole and i'll bet you have no way of proving otherwise!!!

I went searching for a Becky gif to make a comedic response to this but instead found reformed!Becky and between my two unfinished videos and my giant fic cowrite project thing I found a mood so first before I answer your question let me segue

Okay now to resume

The experience-its calculated mystery, its silliness-was fun, but the whole phenomenon begs the question: what for? The trend clearly owes some debt to Situationist ideas, guerrilla theater, and other tactics of creative civil disobedience, but where the Situationists were on some level attempting to extend a Marxist critique into a post-consumerist, leisure-class age-their spraypainted slogans on the sides of buildings in Paris in 1968 may have been elliptical and self-consciously vague, but they were at least identifiable as anticapitalist critique-these flash mobs seem designed to resist such interpretation. The mob I participated in did take place in a giant toy store, and the monster we ironically celebrated was one of the few objects in sight not for sale, but the event seemed intended primarily for the sake of public absurdity.

– “Bob Berens”, The Last Page, Dissent Magazine.

(#This Is A Berens Appreciation Blog)

How about I just masterpost a few topics of mine on the matter to start and see if there’s any you missed.

Social Codes: Literally How The World Works And I’m Not Sure Why Fandom Forgets -- Like why the squiggly shapes on your screen right now mean things and what does that mean reviewing text

Highlighting Fandom Absurdity: Square Peg in a Round Hole? - only marginally attached to text or queer argumentation as much as pointing out the blatant absurdities amplified in general fandom discussion.

The Problem With Dreamhunter (Is That There Is No Problem With Dreamhunter): WLW vs MLM bias or shipping culture effects - fandom’s had its pants down for almost two seasons and hasn’t even realized it yet.

Similar commentary, but het vs queer

Gay Rage Rant: The Magic Moving Checkbox

*Waves Epistemology of the closet loudly*

Representation, Authorial Diversity, and more - have you noticed a shift from the metanarrative hostility of early SPN towards the LGBT community to a more current dialogue, ships aside? 

After reading the above,  Knowing the Authors more than Fandom Holes 

Random old rec list of blogs that discuss it from established angle

That alone is more solid of a start than any length of pointing out the current structure.

Like here, lemme pitch this guys. This is gonna be a weird segue to the ask but bear with.

If the father, mother, big brother, cursed child theme is there -- jack to sam, for example, cas echoing mary over jack, dean regressing without cas textually to grieving john, wouldn’t the true break in the chain being letting dean and castiel both move on like john and mary finally did, and sam getting his grown-man moment to go from being jack’s big brother in absence of his father and mother in S13-- into being his father then? 

As John to Sam and Dean: I’m sorry/you’re a grown man/I’m proud of you; and back You loved us/fought for us -- like Dean to Sam in Swan Song, “You’re a grown man, and I can’t keep treating you like a kid anymore.” And in Jensen’s 15.04 the cold open to the invaded bunker with Benny using a line Dean has used twice in face of death: “See you on the other side.” -- how wild would that be to foreshadow an ending huh.

Cuz it’s seeming to move on from the Wife dying but not chasing revenge and more destruction, but ultimately being happy together in a restructured heaven -- say, idk, Cas echoing Rowena for the heaventhrone, much like John and Mary, even while Sam takes a few years to catch up because he has a godchild Jack to help raise right to make earth itself better or something in the vein while Eileen helps rebuild the AMOL legacy--huntercorp if you will.

Okay so, weird place to pitch that right? 

Here’s the thing-- go back over. Read that premise. I have a question. Is that text or is that just the subtext? Think hard beyond just my shorthand summary, dig through those moments and how they’re constantly self referential in an almost limitless stream since S12. 

Whether that thought, spec or concept is how it goes or not, the very ability to discuss this resolutely at the end and these identifiers have mapped their paths so well and so far, it’s... fairly self explanatory. At this point not only is it a thousand little textual things you can find me nailing down in just about anything tagged “my meta” on my blog, it’s about literal respect to the entire body of text and basic social codes. No amount of fandom noise is about to make me make my queer content or goalposts for it hop on command, that’s for fuckin’ sure.

So there, anon. Hope that scratched an itch???

[shadybagelsludgecolor]

Last Words to My Love [Gn!Reader x Spencer Reid]

A/N: This is inspired by a tiktok chain I saw so please bare with me. Also I'm really not good at heartbreak writing so..... this is this and yeah. WOAH wrote this in an hour

Summary: Reader is on borrowed time after being fatally wounded. They say their goodbye’s with Spencer. 

Pairing: Reid x Gn!Reader

Rating: sad but sweet.

My [short] masterlist can be found here.

Warning:  Idk , Death, angst, murder, cursing, sad ending. 

Word Count: 1.3k

Today was the day Spencer lost himself. The day it was all too much. The day the weight on his shoulders finally broke him. It was the day Spencer lost you.

-

The day had gone by fairly quickly, the unsub was [thankfully] very predictable. You had caught up to him really fast, thanks to Spencer’s amazing geographic profile, and your ability to decode the messages the killer left behind. As you approached the apartment of Sheila Jacobs, the latest victim, you took caution. Something didn’t feel right. Then again, you’re approaching a serial killer with a hostage; how was it supposed to feel? Hotch signals the team to begin their silent entrance, and guns aimed, you entered the apartment.

“Jared Anderson? FBI. Drop the weapon.”

“Don’t move. I swear to god I will shoot her. Stay back!”

Holstering your weapon, you begin, “Jared? It’s alright. We don’t want to hurt you. Let Sheila go and we can work this out.”

“You think that’s fair? After what she did to me? All those years in high school? Nuh-uh. I don think so.”

He had a far point. This Sheila girl was, according to Garcia, a Grade-A mean girl. She and her friends, all of which now dead, tormented Jared all throughout high school. Of course, that doesn't excuse murder, but your heart slightly ached for Jared.

“Look, Jared. I’m with you. Sheila really is a bitch.” You knew what you were doing and so did your team, which is why they allowed you to continue, hands in a position of surrender, hoisted in the air.

“See! That’s why she needs to die!”

“No, Jared. She doesn't. She needs to live. Think about it! Think about what all the news channels are going to say! You will finally get to be the victim Jared. Nobody is going to feel sorry for the bully. She practically brought this on herself. Let her go so we can show the world how fake this woman really is.”

Hoping that this worked, you study Jared’s face. Of course, you didn't mean any of this, but Jared's fantasy has blurred the lines of reality, and now all you had to do was play along.

You see Jared’s face soften as he begins to surrender. He let’s sheila go, and she runs behind you, probably into the arms of Tara or JJ. You reached for the gun Jared held, when suddenly he jerked his arm away, aiming the gun right in between your eyes.

“Wait. You lied to me. I can see it in your face.”

“Don’t do this Jared.” You heard Derek say firmly in the background.

“What? You mean this?”

Two gunshots. That’s all it took. One from the revolver Spencer carried, and one from the handgun Jared possessed.

Your side felt warm. Rubbing your fingers over the area, you felt pain. A lot of it. Your bloody fingertips only confirmed your theory; you'd been shot.

The rest was a blur. Bouncing in and out of consciousness, losing so much blood, your head pounding, your side throbbing, the screams of your team calling for an ambulance.

This might just be it, you thought, my final moments.

“Hey. Listen to me, okay? I need you to stay awake for me. The ambulance is a couple of minutes away. Stay awake for me and for them okay?”

You felt your body lift off the cold ground. Your turn your head.

“Spencer.”

“Shh. Shh, it's okay. I’ve got you. Just stay with me, okay? Stay awake sweetheart.” Tears were streaming down his face as he attempted to flash a comforting smile at you. He had never called you that before...sweetheart. You liked the sound of it. It sounded much better than ‘Agent’. You tried your hardest, you really did, to stay awake.

You know, maybe the darkness isn't so bad. It’s warm there. Let me go there.

“Hey. I said stay awake.”

The bright white of the ambulance severely contrasted that of your beautiful darkness. It took you a second to adjust but once you did, you saw Spencer. The beautiful agent stared down at you. You wish you could tell him sooner, you thought, how beautiful he was. He needed to hear that. You wish you had the energy to tell him that now. He needed to hear those words, even if they were your last.

“I love you” you managed to croak out.

“Hey, hey. I love you too. Save your words okay? Talk to me when you’re recovering.”

You could tell by the look on his face that it was hopeless. You were too far gone. Nothing could save you.

“It was always you.”

“W-What?”

Damnit. If you weren't so weak, you'd tell him everything. You’d tell him how you had looked forward to going to work if it meant seeing him. You'd tell him that his big brain amazed you and that you blushed every time he would ramble about some irrelevant fact that only he seemed to know. You’d tell him that at times, you'd dream of kissing his soft, pink lips. You’d tell him how sometimes when you felt lonely, you’d hold your palms together, imagining they were his. You’d tell him that you loved him and that he was pretty stupid for a genius to not see it. You wish you could tell him everything, but you couldn’t. Your words, much like your time, were limited.

Somehow, someway, Spencer understood. He understood what you meant. He took your hand in his, tears incessantly leaking out of his eyes.

“The thought of loosing you makes it bard to breathe. I wish you could stay. I wish you could see how much I need you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I wish I would've told you sooner. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Its okay. In another life” You knew Spencer didn't believe in this, but maybe you would. These thoughts comforted you in this sad time. 

“Visit my dreams, would you? Find me again. I can't make it here without you.” He was sobbing. He lifted your hand to his face, your skin feeling the cool tears that streamed down his cheeks. You were slipping away, you could feel it.

Before you could finish your last “I love you”, the darkness consumed you for the last time.

-

It had been almost a year now, since your departure. Your team missed you. Your sad picture hung on the wall of fallen agents, and not a day went by where they didn't look at it and miss you. You missed them too. You wish you could've said goodbye. It hit Spencer the hardest, however. But healing takes time. Spencer missed you, of course, but he knew you wouldn't want him to sulk around. You'd want him to look for you. In reality, Spencer never really believed in the reincarnation theory. For some reason, you took his “If science can't prove it, it isn't real” mantra and threw it out the window but the slightest bit of Spencer knew you would come back for him, and you did.

You came in his dreams. Whenever Spencer really needed a pick-me-up or any form of encouragement, you would tell him the exact words he needed to hear.

He knew you were there through your smell. Throughout the day, Spencer would smell vanilla, your favorite scent. The warm tones of vanilla always seemed to calm him, as he was reminded of your beautiful face.

He knew you were there by the clock. Whenever he’d get a random urge to look at the time, or whenever he just simply needed it, you'd always be there. 11:11, 2:22, 3:33, 5:55. You were there with him.

Spencer was at comfort knowing this. Hopefully one day you'd come back to him through someone else, so he could finally say the things he needed to say. So he could finally say, that he’d been in love with you for so long.

[comradesalazar]

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

I will admit I got a lil Emotional that I got tagged in this but I’m so excited to go through it because this year has been SO PRODUCTIVE for me when it comes to writing. Thank you to the legend @that0negayslytherin​ for tagging me and the other legends, you the real MVP (and also thanks again for setting up the LV fic discord bc that place... really b Wild and really b a wonderful place to motivate each other to be our best.) Legends only!!

Anyhway! Onto this thing... I’m excited.

[rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!]

So. Most of my works from this year have been Venji related because I’m still in the deep pit of Love, Victor obsession and idk when that’ll go away. Hopefully not anytime soon because I’m having a great time and fic was an amazing way for me to improve my craft. I do have one piece of original work on this list, but the rest is fic. It’s difficult to choose favorites so I think I’ll go chronologically. A couple of these have graphics but not all of them. Anyway... let’s get into this, shall we.

Arakhne of the Floating Mountain

So this the first work I completed this year. It’s an original novella I wrote for Wattpad’s Open Novella Contest and it’s a very fun, character-centric story that reimagines Arakhne/Arachne (the one from the legend who gets turned into a spider after challenging Athena) as a lonely lesbian who lives alone on, you guessed it, a palace on a mountain in the sky, until three sisters drop by asking for her to create their coronation dresses for when they become the queens of Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. The sisters (Soledad, Luna and Estelle) basically try to court her and it’s a good time. Obviously, I didn’t win the competition but it was still a really fun story for me to write and part of my journey of realizing I can create a writing habit and work on something over the course of a long time, since the only other completed long work I had was for NaNo, which was just binge-writing over 30 days before I had the chance to get bored. If you’re into magical lesbians, check it out!

The stars will love me even if you don’t

I have so much to say about this work. I started it just on a whim in August after I watched Love, Victor in July and began wanting to actually contribute to the works of fandom. Little did I know that I would be embarking on a journey of 120k words and counting, with 33 chapters. This story deals with a whole random of issues -- from long-distance relationships, substance abuse, mental health problems especially around anxiety and depression/suicidality, toxic relationships, codependency, self-harm, the project of becoming oneself and being able to manage life and navigate the world in a healthy way, all the things. In a lot of ways, it is a personal project. But also in a lot of ways I wanted to correct a lot of ideas we have about what constitutes a healthy relationship and what love should look like. There were many times when I wanted to give up on this project due to frustration and exhaustion, but I continued to work at it. I learned so much about my own capabilities, about developing a writing habit, and about what it’s like to write a behemoth of a story. It isn’t perfect by any means but I appreciate the people who have reached out to me and told me that they learned some things about themselves from reading. This is truly a labor of love and I can see that it already accomplished the goal I set for myself which was to help people. It’s lit. And thank you so much to @callmevenji​ for the lovely cover!! She’s a legend!! 

The Thousand-Eyed Wraith (TTEW)

This was a little one-shot I wrote for the Halloween Venji Fic Fest and it takes place in the world of my original work, The Thousand-Eyed Crow. Basically, it’s about what would happen if Venji ended up in that world and had to deal with some spooky nonsense and eventually ended up joining a cult. It was fun for me because it was more stream of consciousness and post-modernist, which is very different to how I normally write but it was a really fun experiment tbh. 

You Only Live Forever (YOLF)

This was another one-shot I wrote for the Fic Fest, but this one was much smuttier and mature than TTEW. I was really inspired by Beyonce’s “Partition” (the song and the video lmao) and thought it would be interesting to put Venji in a world similar to Greendale in The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina but with s*x magic, so it was essentially a Love, Victor and CAOS cross-over for grownups lol. Apparently it worked out well, though, and they ended up trying to summon Satan which went... questionably. But I had a lot of fun writing this, as well, especially when it came to sorta balancing the old-timey setting with the modern day and the smutty scenes with the softer, fluffier ones. 

Part of Your World

So one day I had an idea to write a Little Mermaid-inspired Venji story that would be so sweet and romantic... And so I did. I took a lot of inspiration from several sources -- one, of course, was the Disney version of the Little Mermaid, as well as the original version which is a lot darker and more sinister, as well as mythology around sirens and selkies and just, I guess like, class warfare. So I ended up with a sorta more adult-version of the Little Mermaid where Benji gets attacked by humans and is distrustful of them until he meets Victor who is “not like other humans” and helps patch him up, and they embark on a bit of a whirlwind romance. This has been a treat to work on even though it’s probably one of my least popular fics because I imagine people are coming for something a bit more light-hearted but I’m incapable of writing something that is 100% fun and not chock full of imagery and meaning. I think this has also been the work that showcased and tested my imagery-writing and dialogue-writing abilities the most and brought out my inner poet. And once again a huge thank you to @callmevenji​ for the fanart, if you haven’t already followed her you should bc she’s a legend.

Dead Men Feed the Fish

Finally, my last and most recent work is also the story I worked on for NaNoWriMo this year. 63,000 words completed in less than a month, depicting the initial meeting of Venji and the way their romance develops and deepens over time. It’s just (chef’s kiss). I had originally had the idea for pirate!Venji and really wanted to write it because I was inspired by That One Scene in Pirates of the Caribbean, which is probably one of the most romantic scenes I’ve ever seen and between the only het pairing I stan. So I just had to write a story that included this scene and that allowed me to write my dream scenario of Venji out on the open seas being gay and having a good time and going on adventures and having homoerotic sword fights. This story has basically everything -- romance, action, adventure, magic/fantasy, a lil bit of spice/kink, good communication, tension, cute animals, everyone is gay, what’s not to love. I’m also looking to edit and publish traditionally so I’m in the process of fixing all that up now. And once again, thank you to @callmevenji​ for the brilliant fanart!

Anyway, that was that, and I hope that if you have the time and you get the chance, that you give some of my works a shot because I would be very grateful and I think you will have fun. 

I’ll tag @kateis-cakeis​, @g531​, and I guess anyone else who wants to do this! 

[starkcregan]

 alright um 

some initial thoughts 

overall, i thought this movie was super thematically thin (even for an mcu movie). given how long we’ve waited for this film (10 years), i think the final result highlights that this movie came too late -- and it is even more unfortunate that natasha is dead (at the moment) so it didn’t feel like it added much. tbh i’m more disappointed by the film itself than its depiction of russian characters, which is something i’m surprised about actually LMAO

it was entertaining, and Natasha is an absolute G for breaking her nose like that, damn. what a woman i love her. and i liked the relationship between natasha and yelena :’‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘

baby natasha wins for best spoken russian (but that’s milla jovovich’s daughter...i know she speaks in russian to her children so....of course); though short, her performance was great

how do you cast olga kurylenko and have her speak no russian lmao я не понимаю 

ot fagbenle was so underused in this movie my goodness, he better return to the mcu because that was huge disappointment - he deserved better

the accents in this movie were not the best, but most certainly not as bad as i’ve heard in other movies. something i noticed is that the accents were not too over-exaggerated (which is common in american cinema when non-russian speakers play russians) 

one thing i did notice is that often the ending of words didn’t carry the russian accent, idk how to put it and at times it was inconsistent (which to be fair, i won’t harp on given the context that Yelena grew up speaking english for a bit--like an american. accents in life are not always consistent.) i’d have to watch the movie again to really listen to the nuances of the accents 

but overall not too grating

OH SOMETHING I DID REALLY LIKE: in that flashback of younger natasha (de-aged scarjo), i liked that you could hear her original accent, because accents can change over time too

the spoken russian ... ye

personally, instead of “извини меня моя маленькая сестра ” (or whatever she says), they should have used a diminutive. something didn’t sound right to me. idk if it sounded clunky because that piece of dialogue was clunky or because of how scarjo said it, but honestly i feel it’s both, and now that i think of it maybe прости меня would have been better since she’s asking for forgiveness. 

the spoken russian wasn’t the worst i’ve ever heard, some of it was decent,  but again there were times i was like 👂🏼??? 

thankful that the written russian was at the very least actual russian instead of just a random scrambling of cyrillic letters (NOTHING WILL EVER BEAT THIS GEM)

though it’s possible i missed something, but for the most part the written russian was passable

the opening title sequence was so sad, and i’m glad they were unflinching about the red room being human trafficking

i really liked the russian characters more than i thought i would but one thing i will say:

when hollywood needs russian or eastern european heroes, they’ll hire white americans or british folks who know NOTHING about our cultures

and when they need an antagonist they’ll cast someone whose an adjacent ethnicity -- in this case olga kurylenko (but she turns out to be ok in the end, so not too bad)

and it’s gotten to the point where marvel was ok with whitewashing the maximoffs, unambiguously romani-jewish characters because in the eyes of hollywood all eastern europeans and eurasians are exactly the same. (white and russian-coded)

i believe yelena is supposed to be ukrainian as she was born in kyiv ukraine. they completely erased that part of her story sigh -- i guess all eastern europeans are russians ! /s 

the point i’m making is that hollywood has a narrow view of eastern europe/eurasia and the mcu perpetuates it

growing up ukrainian+russian-guatemalan american, i had to watch both sides of my identity get skewered by american cinema in the name of american propaganda. (And then see how americans internalize those ideologies as children) other than pavel chekhov, i have yet to see an eastern european character that i can actually view as an eastern european (or as in my case, a russian+ukrainian), and who is given a positive characterization, and is played by someone with the correct, or at least adjacent ethnicity. 

as a film though, black widow made me sad knowing we won’t get more of natasha :’’(

though this stream of consciousness was mostly critique, i did enjoy watching it, and by no means did i dislike this film, and i’m not hating on it.  

david harbour was sublime as alexei, :’) 

[lesyah]

guardian watchthrough stream of consciousness ep. 1

I just started this show and I am going to react to it because I’m like three minutes in and already have thoughts to think

Ok first of all, this dude who’s reporting for duty is so awkward it makes me feel embarrassed

Also the professor was so sweet I like him

When I saw that lady’s tail.................

Idk what to say about that

Someone just turned into a cat

He passed out omg

Very confused rn to say the least

He passed out again omg

They have an office full of people who can do this stuff and just hired some random guy???

BRO the girl died???

Dang

This animated cat HAHA

“Stop vomiting”

Ok let me just stop that’s easy

The way he SPUN to just let it loose sent me tho

WHY IS HE HANGING FROM THE WINDOW LOL

ok that look between them was PACKED

What’s the tea folks

That cat is so cute

What is going on rn

“Dead fatty” HAHAH

I’m very confused.

Those looks said “I know you and am impacted by this exchange.”

And their mouths said “idk u”

Why did the business card say mark Stewart

HUH?????

Oh the girls alive??????????

I thought she was the one who died

Oh I see. Yikes. Poor thing.

Her outfit is literally so cute

Why did he take a picture of her unprompted

The cat is 1000 YEARS OLD??????? literally that’s fire 🔥

Did he just subtly but not so subtly accuse the prof of killing that girl lol

His name is shen wei right????

And the special investigator is zhao something????

MANS REALLY SAID “as a normal person in this crazy world, none of my business”

Shen’s glasses are tight

Why are their interactions so weird

It makes me tense

Also Shen Wei is so CUTE??? Baby face.

UNTRUSTWORTHY

Wow

This kid is not subtle in the slightest

Anyone would know he’s following someone

And he also lost them lol

I love that he took the elderly lady home

Good kid

OH MY GOSH

WTF

ummm that ghost got cake tho 👀🎂

Hold on.

Wtf just punched the ghost

WHAT THEICNEKC

WHAT IS THAT

HAHAGAGA

He called him Pinocchio Hahahaha

Omfg

Cool dude tho

Grandma just went to sleep

I am very very confused

B R O

Bro

BROOOO they knew each other TEN THOUSAND YEARS AGO???!!!!?!!????!!!!!!!!

BROOOOOO

“I hope u still remember our pact”

Cut to 2 mins ago when zhao said “untrustworthy.”

HAHA yikes sorry shen wei

The people in this show aren’t very subtle

He was very clearly spying on Li Qian

Shen Wei even turned around and looked directly at him and he tried to act like he just happened to be there and abandoned his motorcycle hahaha

I love how even 10,000 years ago this dude was still eating lollipops. An icon.

“I feel like we know each other from a long time ago”

Shen Wei:

Shen Wei: maybe we really have met before.....

Zhao: *laughs*

Shen Wei: ...👁👄👁

Zhao: bye

I love how that guy’s impulse when he bumped into the goth was to just wrap his arms around him

When Shen Wei saw that necklace, it got so intense omg

Omg that thing chasing them is so creepy

YO HOW DO YOU JUKE A GHOST????? ICONIC

That hand thing.......creepy. I love it.

“I won’t let it hurt you”

Punches through the door

Freddy Kruger vibes

Where did he go

He just disappeared after getting thrown from the roof. Wtf.

The dude taking pictures and filming LMAO

Ummm prof where did u go

I miss u

Who just flew from the sky with a freaking scythe

Where did shen wei go

The kid clutching the goth guy hahaha

“Where is Professor shen”

He’s just lying there dead like thanks for noticing

Ok episode 1 complete. Thank u for tuning into my brain.

[gaytobymeres]

Doing a lecture rn and one of the slides is talking about if parents are still raising masculine boys and feminine girls and it’s discussing a specific study of parental attitudes. In this study, most parents, even those who were trying to resist gender stereotypes, were less tolerant of gender nonconformity in boys than in girls. I think that shows that femininity is devalued and seen as bad, we know this, but it got me thinking about me as a child and growing up. (I don’t want to distract from the fact that boys are flat-out discouraged from being feminine btw, but I personally don’t have experience of that)

I wasn’t confined in terms of what toys I played with etc. but as I got older being a ‘tomboy’ became less and less accepted. No one was outright like ‘this is bad’ but I was encouraged to wear makeup and dresses etc and was praised for doing so. I think that when girls who aren’t very feminine reach their teenage years or adulthood, they are strongly discouraged from being masculine and are encouraged to be feminine, at least that was my experience. Idk this is just some random stream of consciousness and I may or may not come back to this but I do think it’s interesting that at a young age it’s okay for girls to be masculine, but as they get older it’s less ok for them to be masculine. I’d welcome anyone else’s thoughts on this if you’d like to share, because maybe my experiences are an anomaly.

[lifesfeelings]

A Walk

So I got really depressed, both because I was being ghosted, and because I finished a good book that made me cry. This post has no direction and it’s complete randomness but I wanted to post. But so yea I got really depressed sitting at home. I finished “Group” by Christie Tate. It wasn’t particularly sad, but for some reason I sobbed through the whole ending. I laid on my living room floor crying and decided to go on a walk. I wandered to a park a few miles from my house. Now I’m just sitting by the pond watching ducks swim around and fight and fly. Sad about feeling like I have no friends as well I suppose. I only have one person I consider a really good friend now. I used to have many but I just have this one girl l. And I constantly feel like I’m bothering her or overly clingy. I expressed it to her once and she told me that she had been afraid of the same thing. But I just constantly feel like a burden. So I’m alone. I’m being ghosted, my families out of town, I don’t feel like I have any friends. BUT it’s such a nice day and I’m very uplifted watching the ducks. I also caught myself thinking “oh god how nice to be a duck swimming around in a pond on a nice breezy spring day”. And from there I got to the question of do ducks think? Like do animals have thoughts the way we do? Like are they thinking “oh I’m gonna swim over here”. Idk like I can’t imagine that they think the way we do, but also how do animals accomplish anything without having thoughts that guide their actions like we do? This was a very stream of consciousness type post which is strange but anyhow. That’s where I’m at right now lol

03/19/21