#just some moments that happened before season 6
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asraindarkness · 3 days ago
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vent time! i have to disrespectfully disagree with people who are now suddenly saying "it was clear from the start that bucktommy was just a short-term thing". the whole issue with the argument is this: 911 has never been the best written show, and especially everything after s4 has been capital R Rough. this is no succession, the bear, arcane. you know, tv shows that have incredibly story continuity, character writing, and pacing. people say that bucktommy was not written "well enough" as if that is a valid sign in the 911 universe that the breakup was a sure thing. i call bullshit. when was the last time that the show has wrapped up even the simplest storyline in a satisfying and serious way? when was the last time character development happened and was take seriously? when was the last time the main characters didn't feel stagnant and the stories didn't feel repetitive? when was the last time the show didn't go in circles and choose the easy or sometimes most offensive way out? 911 had enough meat to tell compelling stories for 3 seasons, afterwards it went noticibly downhill. people who say that the "bad writing" of bucktommy should have been a clear sign are talking complete nonsense imo. tommy was the first ever love interest who checked all the boxes, who got verbal approval of bobby (who has watched buck grow and knows him incredibly well and who did notice a positive difference in buck!), who had everything that we have been told buck needs in a partner for 6 seasons. the canon text spelled out: this could be the one.
we were not delusional for that because, once again, i have to point out: the wonky writing is not a bucktommy problem. it has been and still is a general 911 problem. if they butcheted the bucktommy writing while they did great with everything else, yes, then i would agree the signs were there. for 911 standards of writing, which are very low in comparison to good tv shows, bucktommy has actually been done pretty damn great until that fucked up breakup. people say "they didn't even know each other after 6 months" and i retort "athena first admitted that she had a fiance before michael to michael and bobby like 30 years (?) after the fact". this show has been fucking up storylines left and right for years, and most characters and dynamics had many moments that were terribly written and poorly handled and were only enjoyable when you ignored the idiocy of it all. this show doesn't care about timelines, doesn't care about logic, doesn't care to base the drama within the constraints of a realistic depiction of society and laws. it retcons things for shits and giggles. the mains only get through it all thanks to plot convenience and plot armor. like please. we try to find logical solutions (e.g. tommy lands the plane) and the show will choose whatever is the most ridiculous idea (12 yo lands it).
looking at the bigger picuture, bucktommy had incredible potential for 911 standards and could have easily worked long-term if only the writers wanted to do so. the simple problem is: they apparently don't want to put any more work into it. it is as easy as that. many things in this show never lived up to their full potential and got wrapped up in the most ridiculous ways that nobody could have ever predicted. like, my bad for expecting some leftover common sensen and logic in the weewoo show! at this point, it feels like a skit starring clowns that will do the most random shit. rinse and repeat.
in that context and thinking back to all the butchered storylines, bucktommy had actually been a fucking masterpiece so far. now, it unfortunately just joins a looong row of things that could have been impactful and meaningful if only the show had good storytelling.
how could i have ever knew a breakup is coming when the writing literally said i wrote them for 8.05 as an stablished couple who where doing ok just so the breakup could hurt more!!! hurt who??? cuz most of their fandom were queers, so there is that.
and yes i agree with you. i dropped the show after s6 and came back to it ONLY bcz my friend told me buck came out bi and start this season only bcz i was invested in buck and his relationship journey cuz i knew for a fact the other part of this show is not gonna get any better and the fucked that up to.
they only claim they KNEW they’re gonna break up cuz they were saying it since 7.06 lol
and it piss me off when they say there was no chemistry (which i disagree) cuz this is so stupid. lacking chemistry is something WE see as audiences it is not a thing for characters in the story, they don’t see it and they don’t feel it so it can not be a reason for them to breakup, like??????
all and all bddie shippers has been dancing this dance for 7 years now and yk what? i hope they do get what they want cuz 911 is not gonna change the writing so i hope they do get bddie in this exact writing they seem to loooove cuz i know it’s not gonna be all fair dust and unicorns lol
(i still love buck and i hope hope hope they handle his sexuality better at least from now on but im not optimistic)
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tremorsmackenzie · 2 years ago
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hadersversion · 4 months ago
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I. i can fix him (no really i can)
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“he had a halo of the highest grade, he just hadn’t met me yet.”
pairing: rafe cameron x innocent pogue! reader
word count: 1.9k
warnings: 18+ minors dni!! language, soft rafe cameron because my boy just needs some love, slow burn!!
mood board!
“hey,” i said, nudging him with my foot. “hey, rafe, i think it’s time for you to get up.”
i look down at the boy who was passed out on the ground of the beach. his shaved head covered in sand as beer bottles surrounded him. his eyes fluttered open at me, staring at me. “w-where the hell am i?” he said, slowly sitting up.
“the beach, it’s 6:30 in the morning.” i sigh, looking at my watch. “i assume you were at a party here last night and got ditched on the beach by your friends.”
i watched as he looked around the empty beach and groaned, covering his face with his hands and yawning. “fuck.” he mumbled to himself. he ran his hands down once before looking back at me. “thanks, for uh-….”
i laugh to myself. “making sure you were alive? don’t mention it.”
he nods with a smirk. “yeah, that.” we stay there in silence. “i’m sorry, w-what’s your name again? i recognize you from your friends i just…”
“y/n y/l/n.” i nod at him.
“y/n y/l/n.” he repeats back at me, not once breaking eye contact with me.
i feel my face heat up, not knowing what i’m feeling in this exact moment. this is rafe fucking cameron, kook prince and sworn enemy to my friends. he’s not a good person. i know who he is and i should hate him, but when his eyes pierce through me like that…like he knows all my secrets….that’s when i start to question reality. “well, i should get going.” i say, pointing awkwardly to the beach.
“it’s 6:30 in the morning, where could you possibly be going?” he asks, pushing his knees up and resting his arms on them.
i sigh and look around, feeling like i’m in the hot seat. “uh…it’s uh…it’s dumb, you wouldn’t wanna know.” i try to dismiss him.
“no, i wanna know, tell me.” he says, sternly.
i bite my lip and sigh. “towatchthedolphins.” i say in a fast whisper.
“what was that?” he asks with a cocky smile, making me blush. “i couldn’t hear ya, could ya speak up?”
“i’m watching the dolphins!” i say more clearer, looking down at him. “i’ve been waking up early and watching the dolphins. this is like their prime time, so i like to sit and watch them while i have my breakfast.” i admit to him.
i wait there, expecting him to laugh or do something heinous that rafe cameron would do to a pogue. but he doesn’t. he just nods. “cool, i didn’t know that was like a thing.”
did i take one of kie’s edibles this morning by accident? did i actually never wake up to my alarm and i’m still tucked away in bed? or did rafe cameron just have a super normal reaction to something i said to him?
“yeah, right now is the best season for it.” i inform him with a shy smile on my face.
he continues to stare at me with those fucking perfect blue eyes. he rakes over my body once and stands up. did he just check me out? “well, y/n, enjoy those dolphins. i should probably get home before my dad has a bitch fit. thanks again.” he waves goodbye to me before staggering away towards the exit of the beach. my body lets out a breathe that i didn’t even know i was holding and i start to feel tingly inside.
what the fuck just happened?
───✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰*.:。✧*.。:。*.。✱ ───
after that, i seem to find rafe cameron everywhere. as i ride my bike to work, go to the beach, hang out with the pogues. he’s clouded up my brain and i have no idea what to do. it’s not like i can tell anyone, i’d be marked with a scarlet T for traitor. but my thoughts can’t stop themself from being infiltrated by him.
“yo, y/n, everything cool?” jj asks me, sipping from his beer.
he snaps me from my rafe cameron brain rot, taking me by surprise. “yeah, everything’s alright. sorry, just a little tired.”
a whole group of us hang out by the beach at the boneyard, the usual pogues, some kooks who we invited in to fuck with, and the vacationers. everything was going alright, until i saw him.
“ain’t no fuckin way.” i hear jj spit.
rafe and his friends stroll up to the party, with a few girls scattered around them. i feel my face goes hot as my friends spit their remarks about him.
“what makes this douchebag think it’s okay to just show up here?” i hear kiara say.
“i don’t know but i don’t like it.” john b adds in.
my eyes can’t seem to leave his figure. he looks just as handsome as i remember from the beach. i know i am staring but i just cannot seem to care. but my brain short wires when he looks up, meeting my gaze with a cocky smirk. shit.
i feel my face get darker as i quickly avert my gaze down to my feet. "uh, i'm gonna get a beer. anyone want one?" but before my friends can even answer my question, i quickly make my way over to the coolers. once i know i am out of their sight, i take a well needed deep breathe and try to ground myself. my brain feels fuzzy with thoughts of rafe cameron but i have to push them down.
i bend over to grab a beer from the cooler when i hear a familiar voice behind me. "mind if i grab one?" i quickly turn my head to see rafe, staring into his blue eyes like they were the goddamn eighth wonder of the world.
he's so close yet so far away, i can smell the expensive cologne he has on. my brain gets off of autopilot and screams at me to put space between us, which i attempt to do. but before i can think, i'm tripping over my own feet, almost falling back. but i feel rafe's large hand quickly land on my lower back, saving me from the tumble.
"woah, there, did you already have that much to drink?" he jokes.
i stare at him, my face probably matching the color of a budweiser can. "i...uh...i..um..." i feel myself babbling on, unable to form a single thought as he has his hands on my body. "s-sorry about that. but i...i've only had one beer, i'm just a total klutz sometimes i swear."
he keeps his hand on my back, i can feel him slightly rubbing it, sending goosebumps all over my body. he keeps looking into my eyes, which seems to be his favorite hobby at this point. "well, i'm glad i caught ya." we stand there in silence for what feels like an eternity, until i remember where i am. who i am here with.
my friends.
i frantically look around, making sure they aren't looking at me dying under rafe’s touch. i pull away from him quickly.
"don't worry they aren't looking." he reassures, grabbing my beer and opening it for me. "i assume it's your friends you are looking for." he hands me back the cold beverage, our fingers brushing against each other.
i quickly snap my hand back and look up at him, he has a small smile on his face as he looks down at me. "sorry, but, i mean...you understand, right? my friends don't like you, you don't like them. if they see me talking over here with you...it'll be a whole thing."
"i didn't peg you as someone who cares about what other people thought about them. i don't know, i mean you did admit to me very easily your love for dolphin watching." he smirks as he grabs a can of beer and opens it. "just saying."
i want to hide away forever. "p-please don't mention that to anyone else. please." i beg with an awkward smile.
"i won't, i won't. don't get so freaked out." he takes a long sip of beer. "it's kinda cute." he says so nonchalantly.
did he just call me cute?
this is a prank, this is merely a big joke to him. it has to be.
i can tell i took too long to process what he just said because he nudges me lightly with his elbow. "did i lose you there?"
i shake my head and laugh. "sorry, i'm all good." we stand there, sipping our beers in silence. "why are you here?" i ask with no hesitation, which earns me a wide-eye reaction from rafe. "that was rude but...like for real, why? you never come to pogue parties. i thought we were too beneath you to ever join us."
"i mean, you have a point." he looks down at me with a smirk, which makes me flip him off. he chuckles at me and sips his beer. "honesty?"
"please." i say.
he sighs and looks around. "i'm here to see you."
i choke on the sip of beer i'm taking, too shocked at what he just told me. i watch as he steps forward in concern and tries to put his hand on my back, but i move away quickly. i cough agressively before turning to him. "i-i'm sorry, what?" i almost laugh in his face.
"i'm pretty sure you heard me, y/n. i'm here for you." he admits.
i stare at him, waiting for him to laugh, admit that it was a joke, or even a ploy to mess with the pogues like some kind of goddamn trojan horse. "you're serious?"
"i think you would know if i'm lying." he shrugs.
i stand there, unable to wrap my head around what he just said to me. "you're so full of shit." i blurt out.
he just laughs. "am i now?"
"you're here to see me? the girl whose name you couldn't even remember a few days ago?" i cock my eyebrow at him.
"is it so horrible to believe?" he questions. i look at him, trying to tell if this is real or fake. he waves his hand in front of my face. "i lost you there again."
"i'm sorry, it's just...i'm me...and you're you. we exist on totally different planets...universes." i tell him.
"yet here we are, right next to each other on planet earth." he says.
he got me there.
"y/n!?" i hear kiara yell.
rafe turns his head to the voice calling my name and then back to me. "that's your cue to leave, i think."
i cannot turn away from him, too dumbfounded about the past 5-minute conversation we just had. "you're not slick." i say, starting to walk away backwards so i'm facing him.
"i didn't think i was being slick!" he says, with his hands up in his defence.
"i see through you and your lies, rafe cameron! i really do!" i yell at him as i get further away.
"yeah, i'd like to see you try, y/n y/l/n!" he shouts back, smiling at me.
i crack a smile back to him and flip him off before walking into the crowd, looking for kiara.
she comes up and puts her shoulder around me. "you all good? was he bothering you?" she asks, looking back to where rafe and i were.
i follow her gaze and see rafe still standing there with that same look on his face. "no, he wasn't. i'm all good, i swear." i say honestly. "just having a small talk."
"with the kook prince? no one ever just has a 'small talk' with rafe cameron, y/n." she says, squeezing me tighter.
"well i guess i'm the first person to ever do so." i shrug and continue to walk back towards the boys, trying to hide the stupid smile rafe cameron put on my face.
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mv1simp · 3 months ago
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Into You ♥️
Max Verstappen x Redbull Engineer! Reader
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Oh baby, look what you've started, the temperature's rising and is this gonna happen? (Been waitin' and waitin' for you to make a move)
At 27, you've just been promoted to the role of Redbull's race engineer - a very impressive feat in motorsport for a young woman. There's just one issue though - you secretly had a massive crush on the driver you're meant to be guiding, Max Verstappen. Will you make it through the season before he catches on? (You hope so because goddamn, the HR team were a nightmare to deal with.)
Content includes: fluff, humour, Max and reader are simps for each other, sexual tension, pining, drunk confessions, 3.2k WC
Recently, you'd started having some issues at work. Okay, gun to your head, you'll admit it was more like a single issue - in the shape of a very attractive, 6 foot Dutch racing driver who occasionally had problems with anger management. Sure, it didn’t sound that bad, in fact, someone else would just sit back and enjoy the eye candy the F1 paddock provided! But to truly appreciate the full depth of your embarrassing problem, one needed to unpack all the lore behind it.
After graduating from a prestigious mechanical engineering master's program, you'd been ecstatic about getting to intern at Redbull's F1 racing team, department of aerodynamic design. You'd started working at the company at a very good time, because later that year, their top driver Max Verstappen claims his first WDC at age 24 - only 6 months your junior. A very impressive feat for such a young age - as you admire him from a distance in the garage workshop. And, super hot too, you thought cheekily, whoever wifed him up was sure to be a lucky woman.
Your own hard work hadn't gone unnoticed, and many higher-ups and sponsors alike were curious to see the team who had been behind the championship winning changes to the Redbull car. You'd risen very quickly in the ranks, from intern to permanent technical engineer and then last year to to the innovative research & development department, now involved directly with calling the big shots for what each version of the car would look like and coming face to face with Max for the first time in your career with Redbull.
Unlike the other drivers, Max was genuinely curious about your design process. The way he asked questions, thoughtfully listened to your long explanations and then would give you direct feedback about the exact issues he would have in the trial runs had made you flustered, especially from the full intensity of his blue eyes. No, seriously though, Shakespeare himself would have written poetry if he'd gazed into them. The TikTok creators certainly seem to agree, with all their ocean eyes edits. Not that you had any saved. Anyways, moving on-
You were on the quieter side but Max seemed to know just how to get through to you. It meant that your team had been able to design the most dominating car in F1 history - the RB23, and paired with Max Verstappen it was an unstoppable force, almost like you made it just for me, Max had said, smiling gorgeously at you like some GQ Sports model. You stared back at him incredulously, banana choc chip muffin halfway to your mouth, cause who the hell woke up looking like that, you two were wearing identical Redbull shirts but his looked like it had been personally tailored to fit that broad muscular chest and yours was giving oversized trash bag??
Honestly, you'd hoped that working in closer proximity would humanise him more and you'd lose this silly crush of yours the moment you saw him do some icky rich white boy move. Like maybe he’d donate to Donald Trump's anti vaccine campaign or say guys 🥺 Can’t go to Ibiza this weekend the yacht staff had an emergency, got caught in some Gulf war zone or something? Idk
But when he had knocked on your apartment door when you hadn't shown up to work in two days, and found you crying because your childhood dog had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer across the other side of the world and saying I’m sorry, I know it’s not that big of a deal, I’ll come back tomorrow I promise-
And instead of laughing like you’d expected, he’d cut you off, told you to pack a bag and then driven you all the way to his personal jet. You looked into his beautiful blue eyes while he earnestly begged you to use it so you could make it in time to say goodbye to your Arlo before your parents put him down tonight. And that’s when you realised you were doomed to be hopelessly in love with the younger man. (But also, you had a serious discussion with him about the extreme greenhouse gas emissions from private jet fuel use, we only had one planet, you would be happy to just fly first class instead-)
But when your mentor Newey announced his plans to leave Redbull this year, you had planned on following him - making the exec panic at the thought of losing two of their crucial engineers. They frantically thrown random promotions at you, praying one would stick - and Redbull twitter fans breathed a sigh of relief when you took interest in the role of race engineer and stayed in the company.
You'd been excited about becoming one of Checo's engineers, having trained under the current one for the last few months. But to your horror, one day you arrived on the paddock only to be promptly sat down at a meeting along with the two drivers and be informed that they'd had to switch some things around, GP had an emergency to attend and could you pretty please fill in for the role of Max's race engineer this weekend-
NOPE. You'd announced, standing up and slamming your hands on the table, then realising that might be a touch overdramatic as everyone questioningly looked at you. Why not? Christian Horner demanded suspiciously.
Um, because he's super hot, you fool?! How is a girl meant to focus with him whispering track feels really wet today in her headphones? Were the years of self control to just admire from a distance like a loser and not jeopardise your career just a joke to him?? You don’t blink as your boss stared you down, hoping he could pick up on the thoughts that you’re trying to telepathically communicate. The table remained silent, only interrupted by the noisy slurping of Checo's boba tea. You quickly changed tactics - well, Verstappen is the winning champion, he needs an engineer who has experience working alongside him during the race-
Alas, the object of your affections threw a well intended wrench in your escape plans by adding that you were the perfect person, then, since you'd worked together for years and understood his communication style. Unless - he paused, flashing those deadly baby blues at you - unless the issue is you don't want to work with me?
You'd lasted all of three seconds under his hurt gaze before admitting defeat and accepting the role, slumping down next to him and desperately praying you'd wake up a lesbian tomorrow morning. Max continued to sneak long glances at you through the meeting, leaning around you to grab a pen and then his phone and making you jump each time his strong arm wrapped around your small frame. Across the table, Checo thoughtfully chewed on his boba as he watched you two curiously. Ah, young love.
And to no one's surprise the pair of you had made a flawless team, you expertly guiding Max as your engineer instincts took over and him actually listening to your helpful instructions without his usual aggression over the radio. And so when GP announced that his 1 week emergency was now going to be a 6 month break, sorry! - it had been all too easy for Christian Horner to bestow the honour of being Max's primary engineer onto you.
So now, here you sat, before your 4th race with Max, grimly looking on with your chin propped onto interlaced fingers, preparing yourself for his deep, sexy voice that was going to be purring in your ears very soon. The very voice that had become a recurring theme in the dreams you'd been having lately, that and also how he would bite those thick lips of his when he'd stare at you, with his cute little freckle on his top lip-
Why do you look like you're about to go to war, your intern asks bluntly, putting an end to your illicit thoughts and delivering you your triple chocolate caramel frap. Because I am, you hissed, sculling the whole thing in one go. She smirked, leaning in conspiratorially. Was this to do with how categorically down bad you are for your precious Maxie?
You proceeded to inform her that if she ever brought up how you'd drunkedly referred to him that one time, you'd have no problem abusing your authority to shaft her on tire service duty for a week. She wisely chose to leave you be in peace, taking your empty cup as she went.
Taking some meditative breaths, you focus on thinking about unsexy things. Like the hydraulics system of the current car needing to be redesigned to better incorporate-
Your thoughts are cut off a second time as another cup is deposited in front of you, this time by none other than Max himself, who's thoughtfully brought you a triple chocolate caramel frap. You stutter out your thanks, not daring to touch more caffeine currently as you already had sweaty palpitations at the sight of him looking so big and muscled in his slutty tight fireproofs. Dear God, had he no shame? They needed to bring back the Victorian era and cover him up, he was going to distract everyone (mainly you.) He frowns slightly, leaning down to your height, and informs you that you didn't have to call him Verstappen, you know, Max is fine-
Wow. And then what would come next? Maxie? And then you asking him for his hand in marriage? No, no, absolutely not - you needed to maintain strict professional boundaries or risk him catching onto your massive crush and promptly be fired. You politely informed him that for the sake of public decorum and the rabid fangirls that were watching your every move as a young female engineer in proximity to their favourite drivers, that you would refer to him as Verstappen, or Mr. Verstappen if he preferred a more formal title?
He'd pouted those lush lips of his and reluctantly agreed that just Verstappen was okay, he supposed. But he much preferred hearing you call him Max, at least when there were no cameras around? What you had done in your past life to now be forced to resist such temptation, you would never know.
So the season went on, you two continuing to be a smashing success and a very popular internet pairing. Not that you'd been paying that much attention! Just a saved TikTok edit here and there of the time Max had called you schatje over the radio after blowing up about a tire malfunction. He’d then sweetly apologised the next lap when you remained unfazed and told him to sort his shit out, babes, Leclerc was right up his ass with a tire and DRS malfunction, yeah? (Twitter had gone crazy. Who knew Max Verstappen responded so well to a 5 foot, slightly older woman giving him orders over the team radio?! You’d instantly been accepted as a replacement for the beloved GP, original gentle domTM to the Dutch driver.)
And perhaps another saved edit of the time he had protectively held you in those big, strong arms of his, guiding your tiny figure through a massive media-frenzied crowd and whispered reassurances in your ear when you couldn’t breathe properly. Or the time he’d bitten a reporter’s head off with the ferocity of a lion after he suggested that as the first female race engineer, you’d acquired your new job through your…feminine wiles.
And maybe just one of when the PR team had made you do one of those ridiculous hot lap videos with him after seeing the online response, and he'd laughed as you screamed out of fear for your life when he cruised at a cool 200km/hr. The aftermath had been brutal, as you weakly stumble out and almost fall flat on your face, only for him to easily pick you up, carrying you bridal style back towards the garage (Truly, this right here was proof God sent his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.)
Nearing the end of the 6 month stint, when GP was due back in to resume his role as Max's race engineer, the Redbull team had decided to take a well deserved weekend trip to Verona, Italy. You’d suspiciously looked at your intern, asking why she’d selected the romantic setting of Romeo & Juliet of all places, to which she replied that just cause you’d chosen to cockblock yourself for eternity with a crush on your coworker the millionaire F1 driver, didn’t mean the rest of them couldn’t get some. Valid point, so you shut up.
So now, here you are, sitting in a romantically lit corner of a cute Italian vineyard with a small group from the engineering division, sloshed after a bottle of red wine and asking them be real, be real, you're telling me none of you have been checked out Max's ass in his fireproofs? Lies.
Across the courtyard, Lando is currently extremely unimpressed with his good friend, 3 time Championship winning, and general terror on the track Max Verstappen. That is because said friend has decided, rather pathetically, to lie on the cobblestone and drunkedly ask the stars why fate was so cruel. Seriously mate, Lando sighs, all this over a silly insta post?
Excuse you, it’s not just any insta post! Max had protested, baby tears in his eyes and face flushed from the four G&Ts he’d drunk. Pulling out his phone, he shows Lando the damning evidence of the pictures you'd uploaded from the group trip with your engineering friends. Look. LOOK. His arm is around her and she used a Lana Del Ray lyric in the caption. Do you have any idea what this means?
The Brit has to resist rolling his eyes at the melodrama unfolding in front of him. The Dutchman continues, never one to miss a chance to maxplain - as he details how it had taken him a a whole 2 months to get him to call you by his first name, and then another 2 months before you'd told him your favourite song was Summertime Sadness, and that even now if he hugged you to celebrate a win you would look like you were about to throw up and furiously speed walk away.
Lando is seriously regretting tagging along to the Redbull trip instead of Carlos's invitation to Mallorca. It was bad enough that the whole train ride Max had been on the phone begging GP to take another 6 month break so that you'd continue to be his engineer, but Lando has had his limit with this simpy pining. Taking his phone out as the maxplaining continued in the background, he shoots a text to your intern, who immediately replies, and within minutes the pair of them have hatched a conniving plan to dump you lovesick fools together while the rest of them make their way into town.
And that’s how you and Max find yourself locked inside the upstairs wine cellar, having been separately tricked with various promises from your scheming friends - only to hear the door click behind you and turn to find each other. It's very romantic and all, soft candlelight and bottles of luxurious Italian wine and a shining full moon visible from the terracotta balcony. Someone had even generously left a speaker in the courtyard, with Lana Del Ray's melodic voice rising upto the second floor. Basically, the worst nightmare for your self control as you prayed for inner strength and avoid looking into Max's dreamy blue eyes. This was definitely some twisted beyond the grave revenge from Shakespeare for you saying he'd write poetry about a F1 driver’s eyes.
Max, though, is all too happy to come right over to you with another freshly opened bottle of wine, drunk and flushed and having zero inhibitions about pulling you into his warm side with a strong arm. You're too buzzed to resist, letting yourself fall against his chest to hear his soothing heartbeat and rest a palm against his hard abs, just this once (The real thing was even better than what you'd imagined.)
You're both laughing and giggling then, hearts full, reminiscing about the season together, the inside jokes on the radio, the side eyes to each other when Horner got too wound up at a meeting, and oh did you hear that the McLaren tireboy was hooking up with the Mercedes oilchecker?
And then your eyes meet his and your homegirl Lana starts singing dear lord when I get to heaven, please let me bring my man (real) and Max is softly brushing your cheek, leaning down as your heated gazes flit to each other's lips-
NOPE! you force yourself to declare, dramatically leaving his arms and contemplating if you could land the jump from the 2nd floor balcony. The Italian wine has made Max demanding though, as he doesn't let you go, grabbing your hand to pull you back like he was Anthony goddamn Bridgerton and wanting to know Why not, was he just imagining the chemistry, did you not find him hot or?
You'd gaped at him. Not hot? Apparently the Italian wine had gotten to you too because you didn't hold back, launching into a tirade of how no, Max, the issue was actually that he was too hot for his own good and did he even know how unfair it had been to be his engineer, pure torture really, you were sure the American military would be adding it to their interrogation tactics. As if it hadn't been bad enough to crush on him from a distance for years but then have to resist falling for him every time you saw him? So, no, you couldn't just give him a casual drunk kiss because you were in love with him!
Max stares at you, initially smug that you apparently found him so irresistibly good looking, but now completely bewildered when you finished ranting. You think - he swallowed. You think that this is just casual? Cause I- cause I'm drunk?
At your nod, he launches into his own maxplaination, brows furrowed, demanding to know how on earth you could think it was just casual, what about when he diligently showed up to every meeting with a banana choc muffin and caramel frappe and his hoodie for you to wear on the chilly mornings, or when he brought two Lana Del Ray VIP tickets the very same day you'd told him you liked her, or when he'd literally called you darling in Dutch over the team radio for the whole world to hear, or how he even sold his private jet and only jetpooled with the others since you told him off?! Seriously, even that old crone Helmut had asked him when you two were going to hard launch!
Your doe eyes go wider and wider at each statement, a pretty flush taking over your own face as your mind boggles at the realisation that apparently, the love of your life felt just as deeply about you. Stuttering, you try to formulate a reply - only to come up with Oh, well, I, uh - you sold your jet? For me?
Max rolls his eyes, but there's nothing except pure adoration on his face as he pulls you back into his warm chest, grinning down at you when you eagerly wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. Yes, schat, he murmurs gently, the cutest blush painting his cheeks. Because I love you, too. And this time you don't pull away when he finally, finally leans down and meets your lips in a passionate kiss, enjoying the sweet moans he draws out of you as he showcases his numerous talents off the track.
Somewhere, in the middle of a Verona nightclub, your intern gives Lando Norris a firm handshake. Pleasure doing business with you.
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A/N: A lil sweet fluff for me, this is actually my first fluff piece i think ahaha i've only written like 8 smut pieces in a row!! Hope you enjoyed 💖 and PS thank you ALL for the requests you’ve been sending, been getting them and will work thru them just have a few projects I’m cookin up for u guys hehe xx
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johanna-swann · 5 days ago
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I actually have sooo many issues with 911 lately that haven't even got much to do with any ships.
Like. They wrote out almost all of the side characters. Chris is gone, Linda and Sue are gone, Athena's kids are gone (even though Harry just moved in with her and Bobby again? Seriously, where is Harry?), Ravi is gone, Carla is gone. I know the GA maybe don't care that much, casual viewers might not even have noticed that this many characters have just vanished from the show, but in my opinion this is one of the things that give a show running as long as 911 life. Having a big cast is a good thing. Otherwise things are going to get very monotonous very soon.
Actually, that's my second point. They keep repeating storylines! Every season Hen and Karen have to fight a custody battle over one of their kids.
Every season Eddie ends up realising he has a lot of repressed trauma and issues which keep him from leading a healthy happy and free life.
Every season Bathena realise that they have communication issues and they fight about it, but then something traumatic happens and they forgive each other without ever really talking things out.
Every season we are reminded that Maddie's most prominent character trait is "traumatised", the writers just alternatingly bring up Doug again and sometimes the ppd arc.
Every season we see Buck being somewhat restless, looking and searching for something that will bring him true happiness and cycling through love interests that never stick around and each time when you think "oh, there it is, he's getting somewhere now" the writers go "BEEEP! WRONG!" and we start all over again. [This is not just about recent events aka Tommy, the break-up and Buck potentially going back to his 1.0 ways, this also happened in season 6 when he had his "it doesn't matter what other people see in me, I'm enough" revelation only to suddenly be like "omg, Natalia just sees me".]
And Chimney- he had his moment last season with the wedding episode, Kenneth Choi really ate that episode up, but his most prominent character trait is "Maddie's supportive husband". There's really not that much going on with him otherwise.
Another point I briefly touched upon above is consistency. Like Harry moving back in with Athena and Bobby and then just vanishing. Or Gerrard being more like a slightly unfriendly grandpa than an actual antagonist in season 8 when he was still spouting slurs in season 7.
And the timeline! We talked about this before ("last March", Mara's fostering to adoption timeline, Tommy tranferring to harbour "5 years ago"), but the newest "Tommy was actually Abby's Tommy" twist just adds to that. Tommy was with Abby for over 2 years. They were engaged. This was at a time when he was still at the 118. Tommy dated Abby presumably because he was in denial or maybe because he was hiding. In either case, wouldn't his team at least have heard about his fiancée, Abby the dispatcher? Wouldn't that have rung a bell when Buck eventually brought her around only a year or two later? Tommy did talk about his private life at least a little at work, even under Gerrard. It just doesn't make sense. (Not to mention this seems wildly out of character for Tommy who around the same time also said about himself "being single is easier".)
Then there's the pacing. This was a huge issue in season 7. They jumped from one personal soap opera drama to the next without taking any breathers, had almost no procedural in their drama the whole season, still somehow decided to spend one third of the entire season just on the opening disaster and also squeezed in a "Bobby begins for the third time now" episode. But okay, it was a shortened season, there were strikes, they switched networks, they were under a lot of pressure - I'll cut them some slack. At least they set up a bunch of interesting stuff for the following season.
But we're in season 8 now. The renewal was announced very early, they had a lot of time to plan this time. Also they have almost double the episodes they had last season, there's really no need to rush any of the major plots. I am done cutting them slack.
They wanna do a 3 part opening disaster again? Okay fine, you have the time now. I feel like they could've easily done it in 2 episodes (especially 8x02 felt a little "eh"), but okay. Better than the breakneck speed you were going at befo- Oh, what's that? 8x04 flying in with a steel chair. You resolved 70% percent of the plots you set up last season in one single episode with no build up, no emotional pay off and no lasting consequences? And you also squeezed in multiple unrelated calls at the same time? Damn, okay then. Good-bye potentially interesting storylines. Fuck me for being invested I guess. I thought there would at least maybe be some follow up in 8x05, but no.
Now that Halloween episode wasn't bad, it was actually the best episode of this season imo, but instead of following up on previously established conflicts and developments they just hit us with new Wilson family trauma and conflict that was also immediately fixed again. And now 8x06 has speedrun and dumped another storyline that had potential to go to deeper and interesting places. Not gonna talk too much about that though because this post is about the show as a whole, not ships.
And I am not yet convinced that there will be much more to come on the only thing that's left from last season: Eddie's deep dive into his trauma and repression. It's totally possible at this point that being told "you deserve nice things" by a random stranger actually solved all of his problems, it would be very in tone with 911's new style.
What are they even gonna do with the rest of this season? Revisiting the Hotshots set sounds fun, but ultimately inconsequential. You know what's great about a regular old procedural drama with ~20 episodes per season that comes on weekly? You have time. You can let the viewers sit with their emotions and thoughts for a week and keep them engaged by stretching things out a little.
But why should I bother getting emotionally invested in problems the characters are gonna solve within the same episode anyway? Or rather, even if I wanted to, how am I supposed to care if you don't give me the time to develop any feelings about anything that's happening? "Henren lost in court and are now completely forbidden from seeing Mara at all!" Damn, that must be so har- "JUST KIDDING! Ortiz is exposed and everything is perfect again now." Oh. Okay then, I guess.
Bottom line: The characters are all stuck in their own hamster wheels, they keep cutting side characters that could bring a breeze of fresh air (I'm honestly surprised they even kept Josh until now), they rush through all the storylines a such a ridiculous speed that I don't even have time to feel any sort of way about it, they don't even try to keep a consistency or sensible timeline going and they seem to strongly prioritise random funny bits that'll entertain the very casual viewers right now in this moment (tiger call, Billy Boils, Bee-nado, the 'Stache tm, "wait, it's the same Abby?", Gerrard being a fangirl at heart) instead of playing the long game and catering to people who actually pay a little attention to the show.
[On that last remark: I'm not talking about hardcore fans who analyse every single frame here, I mean casual fans who've watched the show on and off again for a while and who may not be involved in fandom but genuinely care about the show.]
I mean. What am I even still doing here? The show is treading water and I end up disappointed more often than not. I'm still holding out a little hope that they actually will do something interesting with Eddie and his sea-monkeys, but I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't.
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illusioninfnty · 1 year ago
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learning curve ↠ day 6 ; dry humping
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↠ monkey d. luffy x reader
fandom: one piece word count: 1.1k warnings: nsfw 18+, dual virgins, luffy and reader are inexperienced, jealous!luffy if you squint, takes place a bit after opla season 1 so luffy is aged up
kinktober m.list || read on ao3
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“Luffy?” You call for your captain, peeking your head into his quarters. “Is everything okay?”
You noticed that your cheery and optimistic captain had been unusually quiet the past few hours. He never had gone that long without some sort of exclamation or crazy action, and his odd behavior was worrying to you. So when he finally retreated to his room, you decided to follow to see what was up.
“Oh!” Luffy’s eyes widen, as he says your name, clearly surprised to see you. He sends you a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah! Why wouldn’t I be?” You shrug, going inside and closing the door behind you. You take a seat next to him on his bed. “I don’t know,” you start. “You just seem…distant. You can tell me what's bothering you.”
Luffy sighs, taking off his hat to run a hand through his curls. “I don’t know how to describe it. I feel just so frustrated. But no matter what I do, I can’t get rid of it!”
You were confused too, unsure why Luffy wasn’t able to brush this off like he always did. Until a lightbulb went off. You remember Sanji mentioning urges that men get sometimes, and how they need a woman to fix it.
“It sounds like you might have some tension, you know, down…there.”
Luffy pauses, taking in what you said, before his eyes brighten. “I think you’re right!” he exclaims. “Oh wow, that makes a lot of sense now.” He goes quiet again, a sheepish look spreading across his face. “I don’t know how to get rid of it, though.”
You bite your lip, heat rising to your cheeks. “I think I’m able to help you with it.”
Luffy jumps up and grasps your shoulders. “Alright!” he cheers. He sits back down next to you and looks up at the ceiling, seemingly in thought. “That actually makes a lot of sense. The feeling always gets worse whenever I’m around you. I guess you have to be the one to fix it then, huh?”
“O-oh.” You stutter. Not only did you just discover that your captain (who you may have had a tiny bit of a crush on) was sexually frustrated, but he was like that because of you. A wave of heat rushed down your body.
“Yeah.” You confirm to Luffy, hoping to not seem too excited about this whole situation. “I just have to get on top of you.”
Luffy nods, spreading his legs and leaning back on his forearms, inviting you in. You immediately notice the boner he’s sporting, which makes you heat up even more. You seat yourself right on top of it, causing the two of you to moan harmoniously.
You start to move yourself on top of Luffy, his clothed cock hitting your pussy in the perfect spot. The fabric of your underwear rubs against your clit, causing your wetness to begin to stain it.
You reach your hand down to palm him through his shorts, hoping that you're bringing him pleasure from at least one of two ways. Luffy looks up at you with curious eyes.
“How’d you know to do this?” he asks you.
“I heard Sanji talking about it. He says guys feel like that a lot. Pent up, ‘s what he called it.” He goes quiet for a moment. “Have you done this with him?”
“W-what? No!” Your hands scrunch up in his vest and you swallow hard. “This is actually my first time doing anything like this,” you admit sheepishly, eyes downcast.
Luffy grins. “Yeah, me too!” he says brazenly. “Guess we’ll figure out how to do this together!” He laughs. 
You send a matching grin back as you continue to grind on top of him. You’re practically sopping now, an audible sound happening when you rock back and forth on Luffy. His cock throbs furiously, and you gasp when he grabs your hips.
He starts to rock back onto you, pumping his hips upwards into you. You lean forward as the sensation weakens you, and Luffy buries his face into your neck.
“Feels good…” he mumbles into you. You hum in agreement as you squeeze your eyes shut in pleasure.
You increase your pace, wrapping your arms around Luffy as you both press close against the other, grinding each other uncontrollably. 
Luffy suddenly stills your hips and moves you onto the bed, face down and ass hanging off the edge. You gasp in surprise.
“Want to try this,” he breathes out as he hovers over you. You’re met with him thrusting against you from behind, hips moving wildly as he lets out low groans behind you. Luffy wraps his arms around your midsection, holding you in place.
You’re strung out and helpless as Luffy humps into you, his pulsing cock hitting against your clit. Your wetness has fully soaked your bottoms, and Luffy is able to thrust his cock between your clothed lips with ease.
Your captain moves with reckless abandon, hips jutting against your own. Neither of you can talk past groans and whines. This act feels primal, both of you desperately chasing your release.
His hands on your waist tightens as he humps into you and his groans are loud in your ear. You arch yourself into him, attempting your best to rub yourself against his cock.
He moans out your name into the crook of your neck as his body covers your own. “You feel really great,” he continues, his voice cracking. He moves faster and faster against you, seeking his peak. 
Your hands fist the bedsheet as you bounce back and forth against his thrusts and grinds against your clothed pussy. “Luffy!” you cry out. You can feel his hips start to move out of rhythm and he lets out a final low moan before you feel the stickiness of his cum seep through his shorts and onto your own.
Both of you are panting furiously, tired from your romp. Luffy rolls off of you, collapsing next you on the bed. You turn yourself onto your back and lean towards him, basking in the pleasure you just received.
Luffy turns his head towards you. “I don’t want you to do that with anyone else on the crew.” He says, with more seriousness than you’ve heard from him all night.
“I wouldn’t think of it.” You hesitate to continue as you prepare for disappointment with your next statement. “But—if you want, we can do this again soon. If you’d like to.” You mentally hit yourself in the head for stumbling over your words so embarrassingly.
He sits up, seemingly recovered from his orgasm. “Are you kidding? You don’t even need to ask! ‘Course we are!”
You laugh, wrapping your arms around your captain and giggling into his chest.
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itadorey · 1 year ago
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𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐄𝐘𝐄
pairing: fushiguro megumi x gn!reader summary: six times megumi gets caught staring at you and the one time you get caught staring at him. genre: fluff, fluff, fluff, friends to lovers. no angst here, originally a 5 +1 but i added another scene so it's a 6 +1. notes: a repost from an old blog, some scenes changed. nobara is a nosy wingwoman. mentions of minor injury, canon-typical violence, follows the season 1 storyline loosely. gojo + shoko being nosy as well. wc: ~6k
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one.
Fushiguro Megumi is many things. To begin with, he's a talented jujutsu sorcerer, proven time and time again by the missions he gets sent on. He's also intelligent, observant not only in battle but also when it comes to others, always able to tell when something's wrong. However, his most noticeable trait, according to Itadori and Kugisaki, is that he's extremely secretive.
It's not a bad thing, not to him. There are better things to do with his time than sit and discuss his life story with his classmates, even though he thinks that Gojo might say otherwise just to piss him off.
Besides, keeping details about his life private means that no one can use any of his weaknesses against him. And that's especially handy considering that one of his weaknesses is you.
He's not exactly sure when it started. Maybe it was the day that Gojo sent him to pick you up at the train station alone, claiming that he had important business to attend to and that it was the least that Megumi could do considering the fact that Gojo had been going on so many missions lately.
Or maybe it was the day the two of you had been assigned your first mission together. You had been kind to him even when he remained cold and silent, eventually catching onto the fact that he didn't want to make small talk before switching the conversation to the mission at hand.
He had been mildly surprised when you came up with a foolproof plan to exorcise the curse, and the mission had gone according to plan with the exception of a gash on his upper arm. When you had knelt down to check on him, you had gently brushed him off, smiling widely as you complimented his technique and pet one of his divine dogs.
"Come on, let's get you back so that Shoko can check that out," you had said, gently grabbing his hand and pulling him to his feet. He had stumbled slightly upon standing, prompting you to wrap an arm around his waist to try and steady him. "Are you alright, Fushiguro?"
In that moment, Megumi couldn't stop the light blush that dusted his cheeks as he pulled away slightly, stating that he was fine and ready to go. Neither one of you chose to mention the fact that his hand didn't leave yours on the way back to Jujutsu Tech.
Ever since that day, he seemed to be hyperaware of your presence. If he was busy training with the upperclassmen and you happened to walk by, he knew. And he often ended up getting knocked down on his ass because of it. It bothered him to no end, and yet he couldn't bring himself to say that he hated it. Seeing your smile quickly became the highlight of his day, and he often found himself staring at you whenever you were around him.
Much like he was doing so at the moment.
"Eh? Fushiguro, what are you doing?" Nobara asks, leaning over to catch a glimpse of his face. Megumi scowls as Nobara's face comes into view, tearing his eyes away from where you were standing a few feet away with Maki.
"Nothing," he replies instantly, shoving his hands into his pockets as Nobara keeps talking. She goes quiet when Maki calls out both of their names, being met with a grin from her as she throws an arm around your shoulder.
"Good news!" Maki proclaims, smirking at the approaching first years. "I've just found our last team member for the exchange event. From now on, they'll be training with us."
Nobara cheers loudly as Maki gives you a friendly pat on the back, the two girls walking off towards the field and leaving you alone with Megumi. He meets your eyes as you approach him, a teasing smile on your lips as you elbow him lightly.
"How lucky are you?" you tease as the two of begin to follow after Maki and Nobara. "Now you get to see my pretty face more often!"
"That's the problem," Megumi mutters as he came to a stop, sighing softly at your statement. He could already feel himself getting distracted during training, and he didn't want to think about the punishment that Maki would surely give him is he allowed himself to get distracted at the actual event.
"What was that?"
He straightens when he hears your voice, shooting you a strained smile as he catches up with you. "Hmm? Nothing."
You give him a funny look as you start walking again, the two of you being met with the sight of Panda and Nobara facing off against each other as you approach the field. A giggle escapes your lips as you watch Panda toss Nobara around, and Megumi can't stop the fond smile that spreads across his face as he watches you.
"Well, that fight's over," Maki says with a grin before motioning to you. "You're up."
"Against who?" you ask, shrugging off your jacket and letting it drop to the floor. The grin on Maki's face turns almost evil, and Megumi fights off a shiver as she shifts her gaze towards him.
"Against Megumi. Who else?"
Megumi trudges towards you as Nobara and Panda arrive at Maki's side, and he finds himself growing tense at the thought of fighting against you in front of everyone.
"Excited?" you ask, a grin present on your face as you stretch your arms. Megumi responds with a silent nod, feeling his cheeks grow warm as you study him from head to toe before nodding to yourself.
"Are you two ready?" Maki shouts, arms crossed as she looks at the two of you. The two of you give her a thumbs up, and she nods at the sight before waving a hand. "Begin."
To say that Megumi is shocked when you manage to take him down in less than five minutes would be a lie. Everyone else however, is surprised at the outcome and Megumi can't hide the embarrassment on his face as he walks back to the sidelines. He comes to a stop when Maki grabs his arm gently, pulling him close to whisper in his ear before he can get too far.
"I hope that your personal feelings won't be an issue the actual day of the tournament."
Megumi pauses, scowling at her and ignoring the smirk on her face before pulling away and taking a seat a few feet away. His eyes remain on you for the rest of training, and he does his best to ignore the fact that he can feel Nobara's curious gaze burning into him.
"You're doing it again," Nobara sings, bouncing up to Megumi when the training session ends. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were staring at them the whole time."
"Good thing you know better then," Megumi bites back, hoping that Nobara hasn't noticed the way he flinched at her words. (She has.) Nobara laughs as she pushes past Megumi, walking up to you and proceeding to strike up a conversation. The two of you look over at Megumi before turning back to each other, causing Megumi's heart to speed up the slightest bit. He watches as you walk past him, giving him a soft smile as you made your way to the dorms.
Nobara gives him a simple thumbs up as she trails after you.
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two.
Things had been... complicated since Yuuji's death, and neither Megumi, Nobara, or you had found the time to truly sit around and mourn.
Training for the exchange event had taken up more time than you care to admit, and you were slightly disappointed at the fact that you hadn't even gotten the chance to truly say goodbye to your friend.
But luckily, the students from Kyoto were a good distraction.
"What kind of woman is your type? Hurry up and answer, if you prefer men that's fine too."
The silence that follows Todo's words is awkward, and you can't help the way your cheeks heat up when Megumi's eyes drift over to you. Todo follows Megumi's line of sight, eyes taking your features before he nods firmly and turns back to face Megumi.
"I don't have a particular preference," Megumi says before Todo can speak. "As long as they have an unshakeable character, I won't ask for more."
"Not a bad answer!" Nobara chimes, slinging an arm around your shoulders as you contemplate his words. "If you had said something like 'big boobs', I would've killed you."
The snort that leaves your lips brings Megumi's attention back to you, and the way his eyes soften as he watches you giggle at Nobara's words doesn't slip Todo's attention.
"I knew it! You're boring, Fushiguro," Todo proclaims, his chest puffing up as he approaches the shorter boy. Once he's close enough, he lowers his voice, granting him the courtesy of not having you hear his next words. "You spend all your time admiring them from afar, but I doubt you'll ever actually make a move."
Megumi bristles at Todo's words, opening his mouth to speak before getting thrown back by a powerful punch.
"Megumi!" you cry out, trying to rush over to him before being stopped by Nobara's cry. You turn to see her being held tightly by Mai, her pistol aimed at Nobara's side as she pulls her close.
"Move and I shoot," Mai says, smirking as she sees the irritated look on your face. You glance back at Megumi for a split second before lunging at Mai, causing her to release Nobara as she reels back at your sudden action. You manage to grab Mai's waist, pushing her down to the ground and falling on top of her at you try to snatch her weapon.
A knee to the stomach has you grunting, and you find yourself rolling over to avoid another strike from her. By the time the second years show up, Nobara has Mai's hair clutched tightly in her hand, earning an amused smile from Maki as she swiftly breaks up the fight. You check on Nobara first, and once you make sure that the only damage she took was to her ego, you set out to locate Megumi.
You pause slightly when you see him, walking alongside Panda and Inumaki with a slight limp, before you sprint over to his side. You immediately begin to fuss over him, reaching up to wipe away the blood that was dripping towards his eyes with your sleeve.
"Megumi! Oh my god, are you okay?" you ask softly, cupping his face with your hand and turning his head side to side to look for more injuries. Megumi slouches slightly to give you a better look, unwilling to swat you away as you mutter your concerns out loud. "Do you need anything? Water, or maybe some medicine. We should visit Shoko."
Silence ensues as the three of you await Megumi's response, but his eyes remain on you as you give him an expectant look.
"Mustard leaf," Inumaki's voice breaks the silence, and Megumi shakes his head lightly as he pulls away from you to look at his upperclassman. Inumaki's eyes are slightly crinkled, and Megumi can tell that Inumaki is smiling at the scene that had just played out in front of him.
"Oh my god, you're right," You say to Inumaki before turning back to Megumi. "What if you have a concussion?"
"I don't have a—"
"Salmon," Inumaki chimes in, cutting Megumi off as he nods along with you.
"You're right," you sigh, grabbing Megumi's hand in yours before turning around. "That blank stare was a little worrying. C'mon, we need to get you checked out."
Megumi shoots one last look at Inumaki and Panda, a little peeved off with the sudden turn of events. The only thing he's met with are the snickers of both second years, along with a thumbs up from Panda. Inumaki simply gives him a playful wink, sending him a wave as you drag him away.
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three.
"You know, if you keep staring at them, they're going to think you're a creep," Nobara says, interrupting Megumi's thoughts as she plops down on the step next to him. He tries his best to ignore her, giving up when she leans over and plucks the book he was holding out of his grasp, tossing it to the side with a small huff.
"I was reading that," Megumi hisses, a scowl making its way onto his face as he leans over to try and grab it.
"No you weren't, you were holding it upside down" Nobara scoffs, ignoring his mildly horrified look as she pushes him back into his seat. "Now spill. Why do you keep staring at them?"
The large grin on Nobara's face lets Megumi know that she already knows why he's acting like this; she just wants to hear him admit it. He refuses to speak, leaning back on the steps they're sitting on and crossing his legs. He looks off to the side, grunting softly when Nobara begins to poke his cheek.
"Fushiguro! I'm talking to you, don't be rude," she whines, gasping when his hand comes up to envelope her face to try and push her away. She struggles against him, failing miserably and only stopping when you approach.
"I'm sorry, I need to pass through," you say, stifling a laugh as they freeze. The two of them scramble up from their seats when they realize they've been blocking the entire pathway, bowing their heads slightly in apology as you pass by. You nod in thanks, your lips twitching as you give them an amused look. You come to a stop when you notice the book lying on the ground, picking up before turning back to face Megumi.
"This is a good book!" you chirp, your eyes lighting up in recognition as you gently dust off the cover. You hold it out to Megumi, waiting for him to take it from your hand. "It's one of my favorites."
He stares at you for a few seconds, and you find yourself shifting your weight from one foot to another as you wait for him to take the book from you. Nobara springs into action when it becomes clear that Megumi isn't going to move, grabbing the book from you as she chuckles softly.
"It is a good book!" she agrees, smiling a little bit too widely as you nod in agreement. You look back at Megumi, opening your mouth to speak before pausing and turning around.
"Well I'll see you two later," you say, waving to the two of them before walking away. As soon as you're out of sight, Nobara smacks Megumi with the book in her hand, effectively breaking him out of his daze. He gives her a glare, huffing lightly when she shoves the book into his chest.
"You're pathetic," she mutters, walking off in the same direction you had. Megumi sighs before taking his seat once more and cracking open his book.
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four.
"That's a really nasty bruise."
You're met with silence as you move through the infirmary, grabbing the first aid kit, before turning back to face Megumi. His eyes are still focused on the ground when you step closer to him, causing him to jolt as you let yourself settle in between his legs. He swallows harshly when your hand comes up to cup his cheek, tilting his face up towards you to get a better look at him.
"You need to start being more careful," you chide, using an alcohol pad to wipe at his face. You give him an apologetic look when he winces, and his eyes dart up to your face when you pull your hand away slightly.
"It's fine, you can continue," he says quietly, leaning into your palm when it returns to its previous spot. He watches the way you bite your lip in concern, your eyebrows furrowing as you gently brush his hair out of his face.
"You're injured too," he comments, his eyes tracing over the faint bruising on your jaw.
"I'm fine, I was with Toge," you retort, letting go of his face to grab some ointment.
"Toge?" Megumi asks absentmindedly, wondering when you had gotten on first-name basis with the second year. He tenses when you tilt his head back up again, the focus clear on your face as you do your best to gently apply the cool gel to his face.
"Yeah," you respond, pushing his hair back again to get better access to the gash on the crown of his head. You freeze for a moment when you catch his eye, shaking your head lightly before focusing on the injury. "I wasn't alone during the tournament but you were. You fought Kamo all on your own."
"I did," Megumi mutters, his eyes still on your face even when you pull back slightly. His lips twitch when he sees your mildly irritated look, speaking the first words that come to mind. "Were you worried about me?"
Megumi watches as your eyes widen briefly before you compose yourself, nodding softly as you reach for some band-aids. "You're pretty reckless, y'know? You can't blame me for being worried, especially after what happened with Todo."
You don't miss the way Megumi winces at your words, thinking about his confrontation with the older boy. He starts to turn his head away, only to be stopped when your other hand comes up to his cheeks to keep him in place. He holds his breath as you study him, feeling vulnerable under your intense gaze.
"Promise me," you finally say, breaking the silence. "Promise me you'll at least try to be more careful."
"I promise," Megumi murmurs, releasing the breath he had been holding. You nod in satisfaction before finally separating yourself from him, turning to put the first aid kit back in its place. Neither one of you notice that Shoko has been leaning against the doorframe the entire time, observing the two of you as you tended to his wounds.
She watches you flit around the space, putting things back in their proper places as Megumi watches. There's an awestruck look on his face as you talk about something random, trying to fill the silence as he mindlessly hums in agreement with whatever you're saying. It isn't until Shoko actually takes a step into the room that Megumi finally registers her presence, and she watches with thinly-veiled amusement as his cheeks flood with color.
A smirk pulls at her lips as she takes note his bandaged injuries, and she can't help the playful lilt that tinges her words as she finally speaks.
"I was told that Megumi had been injured and needed my help but I can see that you've been well taken care of."
"Shoko!" you yelp, whirling around and leaning against a table as you give her a flustered wave. "When did you get here?"
"A couple of minutes ago," Shoko confesses, schooling her features as she approaches Megumi. She studies him for a minute before turning back to you. "You did a really good job. He's free to go if he doesn't want me to use my technique on him."
"Well, I'll leave you two to discuss that," you say laughing nervously as you inch towards the door. "Bye Shoko! I'll see you later, Megumi!"
Shoko snorts when she sees the way Megumi tries to hide a smile at your use of his first name, shaking her head before slipping on a pair of gloves and prodding at the bruising on his jaw.
"Are you okay, kiddo?" she asks flatly, watching him closely for any signs of discomfort. He grumbles under his breath before pushing himself to his feet, nodding his head in response to Shoko's question.
"'m fine," he grunts, earning a skeptical look. He sighs after a few seconds, crossing his arms when Shoko doesn't back down. "I promise I'm okay. I don't need you to heal me. Can I go now?"
"Sure," Shoko concedes, stripping off her gloves and throwing them into the trash. "If you feel any pain or discomfort you know where to find me."
Megumi nods once before making his way towards the door, pausing in the doorframe to send Shoko a wary look.
"Don't tell Gojo anything," he warns lowly, shoulders tense as she shoots him a blank look.
"I won't."
Megumi gives her a thankful look before leaving the infirmary, and Shoko merely smiles to herself before whipping out her cell phone.
Gojo was going to have a field day when he heard about everything she had witnessed.
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five.
"I still don't understand why we have to be here," Megumi grumbles, exasperation laced in his words as he trails after Gojo. Your so-called teacher had pulled you, Megumi, Yuuji, and Nobara out for a day in the city, claiming that he wanted to see how much all of you had improved. It wasn't until you had all arrived in the city that Gojo had admitted that he was only really testing Yuuji and Nobara, especially since the former had been missing for a while.
"We can go get food while they deal with the curses," you whisper, coming up beside Megumi and nudging him with your shoulder. He merely hums in response, trying to act unbothered as Nobara shoots him an amused look.
"Doubtful. We're probably here to act as backup," he whispers back, earning a muffled laugh from you.
The five of you come to a stop in the middle of an empty street, being met with the sight of a deceivingly cozy house. You shiver as a breeze blows through the street, shooting Yuuji a kind smile as he comes to a stop next to you.
"Oh, are you cold?" he asks, eyes wide with concern as he looks at you. "Here, you can have my jacket!"
You smile gratefully as he begins to unzip his hoodie, flinching when you hear a loud yell.
"Itadori! Get over here!"
"Just a minute!" Yuuji yells back, ignoring Gojo's call as he fiddles with his zipper.
"Now!" Nobara snaps, her foot tapping against the pavement impatiently as she beckons Yuuji over to her side.
"Why are you being so— oh!" Yuuji says, his eyes lighting up with some sort of realization before giving you an apologetic smile. "I'll be right back."
You nod in understanding, watching as Yuuji joins Gojo and Nobara a few meters away. You wrap your arms around yourself in an attempt to shield yourself from the cold, Yuuji's body no longer present to block the air.
"Here, you can have my sweater."
You turn your head at the familiar voice, being met with the sight of Megumi holding out his sweatshirt. You hesitate slightly before taking it from him, quickly slipping it on and giving him a blinding smile.
"Thanks, Fushiguro!" you chirp, unconsciously snuggling into the fabric before taking a seat on the curb. Megumi remains standing for a few minutes, sending one last look towards his classmates before taking a seat next to you. He lets his elbows rest on his knees, his chin sitting comfortably on his palms as he observes the house Yuuji and Nobara are currently approaching. He takes note of the fact that Gojo had chosen not to mention what grade the curses were, and he mentally prepares himself to fight just in case.
He lets his gaze drift back over to you when he realizes you haven't spoken even once since sitting down, the slight concern on his face melting when he sees you staring intensely at the ground in front of you. Feeling the weight of his stare, you glance up to meet his eyes, sticking your tongue out at him and giggling when he huffs in amusement. He watches as your gaze drifts back to the concrete in front of you before your eyes dart back to him, the back-and-forth motion continuing for a bit before he finally speaks.
"What are you looking at?"
You lean forward slightly, reaching for something on the ground before turning to Megumi with a smile.
"This," you say softly, holding out your hand. He looks down to see a flower, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he looks back up at you.
"It's... pretty," he says, watching as twirl the flower between your fingers.
"Yeah, it is," you agree, giving him a shy smile. "It's the color of your eyes."
Your words cause Megumi's cheeks to burst with color, and clears his throat before he murmurs a soft thank you. You grin at his reaction before scooting closer to him, your elbow brushing against his and causing him to stiffen when you lean in slightly.
"You're welcome," you say quietly, raising your arm before pausing and giving him an uncertain look. "May I?"
Megumi nods silently, holding his breath as you lean in even closer to tuck the flower behind his ear. His eyes never leave your face as you busy yourself with the task at hand, softening when he notices the way your tongue peeks out from in between your lips in concentration as you do your best to position the flower.
There's a sparkle in your eyes that threaten to make his heart race, and Megumi finds himself wondering if you knew just how much of an effect you had on him. His eyes widen when your fingertips brush against his cheek, and you quickly draw your hand back down to your side as you take in the sight in front of you.
"It looks perfect," you finally say, your eyes never leaving his as you speak. There's a beat of silence before Megumi opens his mouth to respond, the words spilling out from his lips before he can stop them.
"I think you loo—"
"Hey! Lovebird! Get over here," Gojo shouts, his voice causing the two of you to scramble away from each other. Megumi closes his eyes for a second, mentally thanking Gojo for cutting off his statement as he gets to his feet. He turns to see Gojo wearing a big smile, seemingly satisfied with the reaction he had gotten from the two of them. "Hurry up! I think Yuuji and Nobara might need some help."
"Told you so," Megumi says, a smile on your face as you roll your eyes at his statement.
"Good luck, Fushiguro," you say, your quiet words drawing his attention to you. He looks down to see you giving him a thumbs up, and he simply smiles and nods before making his way over to Gojo. The older sorcerer's smile doesn't fade even as he approaches, and it only get wider when he holds out an arm to stop Megumi.
"Nice flower, it matches your eyes!" Gojo says slyly, plucking the bud from behind Megumi's ear and earning a scowl from him. "I'll take care of this for you. After all, you wouldn't want this to get ruined would you? Although I'm surprised it didn't spontaneously combust from how hard you were blushing."
Megumi gives Gojo one last scathing look before heading towards the entrance of the house, doing his best to ignore Gojo's laugh and focus on the mission at hand.
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six.
You stop in your tracks when you hear a call of your name, the sound of Yuuji's voice bringing a small smile to your face as you turn around. Your smile only grows wider when you notice Megumi trailing behind him, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he looks down at the ground.
"Are you busy right now?" Yuuji asks, coming to a stop in front of you. You shake your head slowly, sending a glance at Megumi that Yuuji doesn't miss. "Fushiguro and I were about to get some food. Do you want to join us?"
"I'd love to," you utter, earning a wide grin from Yuuji. You snicker under your breath, his excitement reminding you of a puppy.
"Great! Then let's go! I've been wanting to check this place out for ages."
You trail behind Yuuji, throwing the occasional glance back at Megumi until you eventually slow down to walk beside him. The messy-haired boy shoots you a quick glance, looking away when he sees you giving him a curious look.
"What's up?" you ask, stepping closer to him and nudging his shoulder with yours. He shakes his head silently, raising his eyes to look at you as he steps closer to you to avoid crashing into somebody.
"Nothing," he says after a while, wondering if you would keep the conversation going. He's a little disappointed when you don't, but you also don't move away from him, instead choosing to call out your replies to whatever questions Yuuji asks as he walks ahead of the two of you.
"Oh, I almost forgot," you suddenly say, coming to a stop a few shops away from the restaurant Yuuji was heading towards. "I need to buy some stuff for Nobara, but you two go on ahead without me! I'll be there in a few minutes."
"Are you sure?" Megumi asks instantly, receiving a nod from you. He hesitates slightly, causing you to roll your eyes with a smile before waving him away. Yuuji gives you a sound of acknowledgment before tugging Megumi away, laughing quietly when he keeps looking over his shoulder in your direction.
"Come on," Yuuji says, opening the door for Megumi before stepping inside after him. "They'll be fine without your watchful gaze. Do you have any idea of what you're gonna get?"
"No," Megumi replies, taking a seat at an empty table and looking out the window. "I think I'll wait for them to get back before ordering."
Yuuji smiles at Megumi's words, forcing himself to look down at his phone in an attempt to act nonchalant. "So, how long have you had feelings for them?"
Megumi's eyes widen at Yuuji's words, and he finds himself mentally scolding himself for being too obvious with his feelings. He has to be, especially if Yuuji had been able to figure it out. He remains silent, letting his eyes drop down to the table.
"You should tell them," Yuuji says earnestly, all hints of teasing gone from his tone. His words still manage to catch Megumi off guard, and he glances at Yuuji to see him still looking down at his phone, the screen dark.
"No."
"I'm serious," Yuuji whines. "You should tell them. I think the two of you are perfect for each other."
"What exactly am I supposed to say?" Megumi asks, shifting uncomfortably in his seat before attempting to make eye contact with Yuuji and sighing when the pink-haired boy doesn't look up. "I really like you and and I stare at you like a dumbass because I don't know how to tell you how I feel?"
Yuuji snorts at his words, opening his mouth to tease Megumi before being cut off.
"You like me?"
The two boys look up in a panic when they see you standing close to their table, a small bag clutched tightly in one of your hands. Yuuji gives Megumi an apologetic look that he chooses to ignore, knowing that the both of them had been too caught up in their conversation to notice you approaching.
"I'm gonna go order," Yuuji says quietly, sliding out of his seat and heading towards the counter. He turns back to give Megumi a thumbs up behind your back, nodding his head as he mouths the words 'go for it!'. Megumi turns his attention to you when you slide into the seat across from him, giving him a smile before picking up one of the menus on the table. An awkward silence settles upon the two of you, and Megumi can't help but notice the furtive glances you keep sending his way.
"So," you finally say, breaking the silence as you put the menu down. He looks up, his eyes meeting yours as you sigh softly. "You like me?"
Megumi hesitates, watching the way your eyebrows furrow slightly as you wait for his response.
"Yes," he finally says, looking back out the window to avoid your gaze. He stiffens when he hears you let out a relieved sigh, giggling softly before speaking.
"Well that's good," you breathe, causing Megumi to whip his head back around to look at you. He watches as you rummage through the bag you had been holding, pulling out a book before handing it to him. It was the sequel to the book he had been reading a couple of weeks ago, the one you had picked up when Nobara had tossed it aside. "I was hoping to give this to you at some point, and maybe even ask you out when I did so."
Megumi's cheeks warm as he smiles at you, neither one of you noticing the way Yuuji pumps his first into the air a few feet away.
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+ one.
You let your eyes drift up from your phone and land on Megumi, who is currently lying next to you as he reads the book you had bought him. The two of you are lounging in your dorm, your back pressed up against the headboard while he lays down on your pillows.
His eyes are focused on the words he's reading, and you take the opportunity to study him quietly. His hair hangs messily like always, but you choose to hold back from running your hands through it in order to keep watching him. Your eyes trace the slope of his nose, trailing down to his lips before following his jawline back up his face and finally settling on his eyes. You sit there admiring him, thinking about how unfair it is for him to have such long lashes.
You bite back a gasp when his gaze suddenly snaps to you, and you quickly look back down at your phone in an attempt to hide your embarrassment. You can still feel Megumi's eyes on you, and you shift uneasily in your spot before shyly looking back up at him.
"What?" you ask, your cheeks burning as you try to play innocent.
"I was just wondering if you were done staring at me," Megumi says casually, a faint smile on his face as he looks back down at his book. You gape at him for a few seconds before responding.
"I was not staring!" you cry out indignantly, scrunching your nose when Megumi gives you a knowing look. "Besides, if my memory is correct, you got caught staring at me by literally everyone else!"
Megumi rolls his as he sits up, sitting shoulder to shoulder with you before shaking his head lightly.
"Besides," you continue, not giving him the chance to speak. "What's so wrong with staring at my boyfriend."
A red tint fills Megumi's cheeks at your words and he merely scoffs before turning the page. You rest your head on his shoulder, glancing down at the book and attempting to read along with him. When he fails to turn the page after a few minutes, you glance up, only to see him staring at you with a soft smile on his face. You smile back at him before leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, and you watch as he tosses the book to the foot of your bed before cupping your face with both hands and pressing a kiss a to your lips.
You give him another soft peck before you pull away from him, your eyes fluttering open to see Megumi studying your face. There's a smug smile on his face as he takes in your dazed state, and he opens his mouth to comment on it before you beat him to the punch, your words causing his smile to drop as he groans.
"Now who's staring?"
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reblogs are appreciated <3 ty for reading!!
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cloudedgalaxies · 2 months ago
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ANYWAYS Idiyuu is Hades and Persephone conspiracy:
Persephone is not from the Underworld. She is called back to the Mortal Realm eventually because she has to return. Yuu is literally from another world. They are not suited to Twisted Wonderland, and are nothing like Idia has ever seen. They have to go back eventually.
Hades is probably one of the few TWST boys to have a “canon” spouse (at least in Greek mythology, which Hercules’ Hades is obviously based on). On top of that, Hades and Persephone is the love story between death and life, isolation and abundance, ending and rebirth. Idia is a gloomy, pessimistic boy who has been condemned to be the keeper of the Underworld. Yuu is a kind, gentle prefect who has been there to help and has helped everyone they know, again and again. 
Night Raven College has been in a ‘winter’ for all of its history. Everyone is hostile to everyone, no one wants to cooperate or work together, and every single person there has some ulterior motive. In comes Yuu, who is a breath of fresh air. A new perspective. A new season. They bring ‘spring,’ showing people that they can bloom. They can harbor feelings that aren’t cruel. They can do things that aren’t harsh. And slowly, they start to thaw. Flowers of friendship and something gentler bloom. Yuu is there to help pull the boys from their darkest moments to see the light again. Idia is no exception.
I think that the way Book 6 was set up makes Idia and Yuu seem a lot more meaningful honestly, though I'm probably reading way too into things lol. Yuu originally goes to the Island of Woe to save Grim. They don’t particularly care much about what’s going on with Idia—they just want to get Grim back. But then later, once they realize what’s going on, they do. There isn’t much, if any, personal connection to Idia’s overblot like there was with all the others. Yuu doesn’t have to do anything to help. And yet, they still do. Even after Idia basically kidnapped Grim, they still help him. They still try to end his winter.
Persephone, in many forms of the myth, didn't originally go to the Underworld willingly. But eventually, she came to love Hades, and they were happy together. Idia and Yuu have no reason to care about the other at first. But they eventually do, after everything that happens and everything that brings them together.
Hades and Persephone are in a constant push and pull. Persephone has to leave because if she stays, winter will never end. She does not want to leave, because she loves Hades. Yuu has to leave Twisted Wonderland, because they have a home beyond it that they need to return to. And yet, they don't want to leave because they love Idia. Idia doesn't want them to go, because it finally feels like spring again. But the seasons have to continue in their cycle, so what can they do?
Also, I think it’s really funny and really beautiful how Idia and Yuu’s first meeting was probably the Ghost Marriage event. This guy who thinks he has 0 rizz ends up having to be saved by some strange new isekai'd student and their gang of potential suitors before he gets his first kiss and promptly dies afterwards. Idia, the boy surrounded by death, is saved by the prefect who seems to be giving everyone a new chance at life. Imagine how poetic it’d be if Yuu and Idia end up getting married in the end, except now neither of them are going to die and they have the rest of their new lives together. There will be winter, but there will also be spring. The cycle of seasons will continue, but flowers will always bloom. They will always return to each other.
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vamptarot · 2 months ago
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Ten Things That Are F### Cool About You | PAC
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pile one pile two pile three
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how to choose a pile . . . choose which picture you are most drawn to or close your eyes, breath and read the one your eyes land on! ᡣ𐭩
— ⭑.ᐟ today I saw a pick a card that not only pissed me off but also disgusted me due to how mean the reader was in every single pile. I checked. their egoistic approach annoyed me. instead of spreading hate, I wanted to remind you why you are an awesome person. not proof read.
pile one : - cold drink !
𐙚 : the high priestess, eight of wands, nine of wands reversed, death
bottom of the deck: five of wands
♡ ⢷ why you are so cool
1. You always research about a topic before talking about it! I think this is very cool because a lot of people spread misinformation without even knowing it and that’s why fake fun facts exist. You are not like that though! You feel a sense of responsibility and thirst for knowledge, which in itself makes you a reliable person. - and source! -
2. You protect those who cannot stand up for themselves and I think that is very cool! Usually, you might have a hard time standing up for yourself but if it’s someone more vulnerable than you then you will give your all. You will raise your voice, yell, make valid arguments and even fight if necessary. - This differs person to person but the imaginary I am getting is protecting children, animals, women and young teens (from creeps to be exact) -
3. You work on yourself and enter new beginnings even if it’s scary at times, it can be hard and scary but that doesn’t make you back off from actually trying your best to become someone that you can be proud of. There is always a sense of hope within you that is very admirable.
4. You know how to keep privacy! A lot of people don’t, and don’t value it as much as they should. Having a healthy boundary with privacy is a privilege not many realise they have.. also, if you happen to share an intimate moment with someone you don’t run your mouth but rather treasure it as a memory as a form of respect.
5. Some people in this pile have temper issues, obviously, don’t take it if that doesn’t apply to you but I am seeing that for those of you who can resonate with that you are doing a really good job keeping it under control. You are not a hot headed person.
6. You are very experimental with looks! I do think this makes you a very beautiful person, because there are several things that suit you and look cool on you. If you like taking pictures I hope you know that you look beautiful and gorgeous in each one of them, one day you will look back at them with a smile even if you didn’t like that one thing because at least you gave it a try.
7. Zero judgment detected in your soul. Seriously, you could be the sort of person that never freaks out at people’s ‘hear me out’s but rather just go ‘yep, I get why you are into that’ even though you have no attraction to whatever character or person they said. You get their point, it’s just not one that you will make.
8. My fashion babies in this pile are slaying each and every time! You could take dressing fashionable in a seasonal manner mildly seriously. You don’t expect everyone to do it, but it’s most definitely something you take a lot of joy in. It’s really cool, your style is a 10/10. - Yes, even if you change it up often. -
9. Even if you are anxious you can do things so incredibly well. You remind me of a video I once saw of a girl with anxiety making a phone call, her hands were shaking uncontrollably the whole time but she didn’t stop being polite and kind. I think that’s you. Even in moments of being scared, you are kind to people.
10. You have such a beautiful voice. I mean your singing voice, but if you are not confident in that this could of course mean your regular speaking voice too. There is something comforting and yet bittersweet about your voice. It makes people feel home at times when they are sad.
— ✮⋆˙ die with a smile - bruno mars & lady gaga , ‘good luck babe’, 2003 , enha photoshoots , guitar injuries (from the string breaking) , white dahlias , glitter videos (those 2021 ones) , ‘good luck, charlie!’ , wavy hair , not well known ethnicity , taurus , capricorn , pisces
that’s all my beautiful pile one! I do think you happen to be very shy, but I do hope that you know that you genuinely have so much love to offer. there is much more to you than what you show the world, but I think you already know that. thank you for reading
paid readings
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pile two : - peace sign ! ✌🏻
𐙚 : page of pentacles, eight of swords reversed, queen of wands, five of pentacles reversed, page of cups reversed, the star reversed
bottom of the deck: judgement
♡ ⢷ why you are so cool
1. YOU THINK YOU ARE SO COOL AND MYSTERIOUS BUT YOUR HEART IS FULL OF LOVE AND KINDNESS 🫵🏻 YOU TREASURE YOUR LOVED ONES AND WOULD RATHER SACRIFICE YOURSELF THAN TO EVER SEE THEM SUFFER !!YOU ARE SENSITIVE AND LOVABLE !!!!!!!!!
2. After all that you have went through you are still here and you are still standing. All that happened but rather than it destroying you completely or bringing you down you allowed yourself to heal and I am very proud of you for that.
3. Your judgement of people are very great! Of course if you don’t like someone of have mean thoughts of them you will keep it to yourself in order to not upset anyone, but you are still really good at telling their personality by their behaviour. Other people might not know but you do.
4. You are a secret little romantic! I bet it makes you shy to express your emotions outward and so freely. Truth to be told, you want to experience so much romantic things and wish to think of them without experiencing negative emotions. This makes you cool because even though you have a hard time with it, you know it’s a part of you and accept it.
5. You are so kind to animals, take care of them and most people reading this pile have a pet too. I think animals are just naturally drawn to you regardless of what they are. - as in pet, stray or wild animal. - It’s like they know they can be safe with you.
6. ‘You can slap a bitch if you need to’. Literally, that’s what I heard.. and I think most people here take pride in it too right? Just make sure to not get into unnecessary fights. It’s not what makes you cool though. It’s that you keep to your word. If you say you are gonna do it, you really will.
7. A lot of you find comfort in the stars and moon. In an aesthetic sense, but also there is a deep sense of appreciation for them that not many people have. They just put you in awe. If you are into astrology you have such a deep and profound understanding of it. One that not many people have.
8. Honestly, your view of life is sort of clouded and not completely “whole” but that’s alright. Exactly because day by day you do your best to learn and never turn an opportunity to see life from a wider perspective down, even if you might have done this in the past.
9. You are sooo talented, and you don’t even realise that. You are amazing in creating things; anything that is physical. This is especially true if you like jewellery, as I think designing or just making your own craft is something that you would/could enjoy doing if you put your own unique twist into it. It’s just something that makes you feel alive.
10. You are so confident! Even if you might not always feel like it, on the outside you always appear confident and aware of your surroundings. Someone composed who wants to present themselves in the best way possible. - You probably pay a lot of attention to your posture. -
— ✮⋆˙ ‘I don’t even wanna do this anymore’ , homework from 1 am ‘til 4am , 9 to 5 , jean purses ? , ditto - new jeans , a bent photocard (of whoever) , 7 - JK , stars , something about the four seasons ? , fave colour = red , ‘letta’ , cappuccino & frappuchino , friendly banter , 111 , 1212 , 2011 , sagittarius , aries , leo
i am sorry for yelling at you at the first point my pile 2 but some younger people in this pile - esp teenagers - like to put on a mean girl persona when that’s not them at all. what’s the point of that? you can’t please people with someone you are not. I sincerely wish that’s something you will remember my sweethearts. thank you for reading
paid readings
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pile three : - megaphone !
𐙚 : three of wands, six of swords, knight of pentacles, justice, king of swords, the lovers
bottom of the deck: five of pentacles reversed
♡ ⢷ why you are so cool
1. You know when to walk away from a situation, which is unironically awesome. Like sure this could be considered a negative trait but you aren’t toxic with it. You just simply know your worth.
2. You have a person you are in love with for several years now right? At least, most people in this pile do. You have unwavering loyalty and love in your heart that no one can take away from you, no matter what. I think that’s very cool.
3. You treat children really well! Which should be a given, but many people are way more mean and cruel hearted than what children should deserve. After all, they are humans too and fragile ones at that. You are very responsible and a safe space for them. I wholeheartedly believe that’s cool.
4. When you call people out, you do so with evidence. I do like that a lot, you don’t just accuse people but rather keep collected and calm even if you are angry or despise the situation that you were put into.
5. Did you ever take a look at your side profile? You are quite ethereal, you have such an unique beauty to you. I do also believe that you look beautiful in your home country’s traditional clothing style:
6. You are stubborn, but not in a sense of annoying people or being selfishly caught up in your desires. This is a stubbornness that is found in people with leader like qualities, that people can rely on. You are stubborn in a sense of wanting to create a better future for yourself and those around you who you deem to deserve it. - bc let’s face it, some humans suck. -
7. I am sorry if this sounds weird, but your hand is always occupied with something. You are a very busy person, even if you might not believe so. You gotta do this, and you gotta do that. You have many interests, hobbies and responsibilities too. Yet you manage to juggle them so well, it’s hard to guess when you are stressed out.
8. Whenever you are around you light up people’s day and mood. You are such a sunshine child, people love to have you around. Even if you believe that’s not the case, people do appreciate you a lot more than you realise.
9. If you have a love for photography I hope that you know that you have a beautiful talent. You are amazing at taking pictures, making them pretty and seeing the beauty in every single little thing even if other people might not be able to do so.
10. You are really good with finances and saving up despite the anxiety it causes you. Give yourself a pat on the back because that is not something many people are able to truly say about themselves. Many people in this pile were raised in a way to appreciate money but not let it consume you, which I think you nailed pretty good!
— ✮⋆˙ somewhere over the rainbow - israel kamakawiwo’ole , early 00s & 10s hawaii , crying at night , daydreaming for hours , ‘thank goodness ‘ , my little pony , new hyper fixation , heat , ten to five , hair being washed by someone else , flamingos , pimples ? , papaya - sorry, ik gross to mention right after , pink skincare bottles , 555 , juliet , lucifer , 10th house
my dearest little lamb your energy was the calmest, sweetest and most welcoming out of all the piles. I am truly happy that you decided to read my pac / participate in it. it was truly a pleasant experience to channel for you 🫶🏻 thank you for reading
paid readings
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Enchanted to Meet You - Colin Bridgerton
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A/N: I am so hype for the new season, and Colin isn't even my favorite Bridgerton sibling. When I was thinking of who should get Enchanted, I knew the story had to happen at a beautiful ball, so really this was one of the only choices. (There may be more Enchanted inspired fics, who's to say!) Hope you enjoy!
TS Prompt #6: Enchanted
Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Reader Word Count: 3.0k Synopsis: After years of knowing, and not liking each other, Colin and the reader meet again at a ball, and share a magical evening together.
"Isn't that your second glass?" Eloise asks, a glass of champagne in her own gloved hand.
"No. It's my third," you say. She doesn't even try to hide the un-ladylike snort she lets out.
"I thought your mother said one."
"She did," you say, peering about the crowded ballroom for her deep red dress. "But, as this is my third ball of the season, I thought it only fitting."
"I'm sure she'll see it that way, too," Eloise says sarcastically.
It was true, this was your third ball, but the three glasses of champagne didn't really have anything to do with that. The matching numbers did add some kind of magic to the night, but truly, you just needed them to get through the evening.
It was your first year out, and after three balls, you weren't sure you would ever find someone to marry. It wasn't like you hadn't had callers. You had blossomed in the last year. So much so, that people often did a double take when they looked upon you. It wasn't so much that they weren't interested in you, but that you weren't in them.
This evening was looking to be another night of forcing laughter and faking smiles with men you had no interest in. The thought of another glass of champagne was too enthralling.
"I don't believe it," Eloise says, leaving your side. You watch her nearly run across the ballroom, and run into the arms of a man. When they break away, you see it is Colin, returned from his travels around the world.
It is hard to believe, but he has become more handsome, in his travels. You spent years and years at the Bridgerton household, and never found Colin anything other than annoying. He was the brother closest in age to Eloise, and he spent most of his time picking on the two of you.
But walking towards you now is a man. A very handsome man, whose smile seems to make your insides melt. You think you might melt, too, as he walks up to you.
"Have we met?" he says, taking your hand in his.
"Are you joking?" you ask, watching as he places a soft kiss to your gloved hand. "Colin, it's me."
"Y/N?" he asks quietly, his brow furrowed as he studies your face.
"Of course it's Y/N, you idiot," Eloise says, slapping his arm.
"You . . . you look completely different," he says.
"Bad different?"
"No, no, not bad at all," he says. He stares at you for a moment longer, seemingly speechless.
"Oh cut it out, will you?" Eloise says, "Both of you are staring like you've never seen the other before."
"Well, he looks different, too," you say, "A good different," you add, looking to him. He smiles, his mouth turned up to one end in playful amusement.
"Eloise, I hope you do not mind if I ask Miss Y/L/N to dance," he says. Eloise begins to say she does mind, but your mind is only on Colin as you drop your hand into his.
You are trembling as he leads you out onto the dancefloor. You have danced this dance hundreds of times before, and have done so to this exact song at the previous two balls. But now, the man in front of you is Colin, and that makes it completely new.
When he pulls you into his arms, your chests a touch closer than societally acceptable, you aren't breathing.
"Hello," he says softly.
"Hello," you say, as the music begins around you. Your moves are instinctual, as you let him lead you into the dance. He is still studying you, his eyes on every angle of your face. You laugh at his ministrations.
"What?" he asks.
"You act as if you don't know me."
"Well, I don't."
"I've spent nearly every summer at the Bridgerton household."
"No, that was Eloise's annoying childhood friend, that wasn't you," he says, his eyes locking on yours.
"Well, it has been a while since we've seen each other. And I have changed."
"I can tell," he says deeply. Goosebumps appear along your neck, and you watch his eyes track them.
"You've changed, too," you say, "Traveling agrees with you."
"Thank you," he says. He spins you out of his arms and back in. "How are you enjoying your first season?"
"Truthfully, it has been pretty boring so far."
"Boring?" he asks in surprise. "Don't tell me you've been a wallflower."
"Oh, on the contrary, everyone seems to notice how much I've changed," you say with a grin, making him laugh, "It's just, I haven't found their company as agreeable."
"And how about my company?" he asks, his voice quiet again.
"I'm not sure yet," you say thoughtfully, studying his face. "But so far, you are certainly a far better dancer than any of the other men I've danced with."
"Really? I'm honored."
The music comes to an end, and both of your hands linger for a moment longer on the other. The dancefloor starts to shift as couples enter and leave. You are supposed to be dancing with Lord Charmbord for the polka.
"Care to have some more fun?" Colin asks.
"What?"
"If you don't mind leaving Lord . . ." he trails off as he touches your wrist again, glancing at your dance card. "Lord Charmbord in the lurch, I'd be happy to prove that my company is much more enjoyable," he says. There is mischief in his eyes, and you know you will go wherever he wants you to.
"Where to?" you ask.
"Meet me at the fork in the gardens," he whispers in your ear, as he walks past you casually. Again, the goosebumps appear.
You walk off the dancefloor, keeping your head down so that no one, especially Lord Charmbord or your mother, see you slip out onto the terrace.
There are a few couples lingering out on the balcony, but they are too involved in their conversations to notice you move down the steps to the garden. You move silently as you look around for Colin, or anyone else.
Scandal would be sure to follow you if anyone were to catch you out here, but you can't bring yourself to care right now. This is the first time all season that you have felt anything, and you aren't going to let it go.
As you round a bend in the gardens, hands grab your waist and you nearly scream out. Quickly, though, Colin turns you around and reveals himself. You clutch a hand to your pounding heart.
"You frightened me," you say.
"I'm sorry," he says, laughter still in his eyes.
"No, you aren't," you say with a laugh.
"No, I'm not. But I am glad you met me here."
"Well, I was promised good company,” you say. Colin straightens, a smirk on his face, as he extends his arm to you.
“A promise I intend to make good on.” He leads you deeper into the maze like garden, as if he has explored it before. Before you can ask, he says, "You know, I used to play with the lord's son when we were kids. He knew where all of the hiding spots were in here, and challenged me to hunt him down. It took a few years, but I was eventually able to find all of his spots, and a few of my own."
"So if I asked you to hide right now . . ."
"You would not find me."
"You assume so little about my seeking skills?" you joke.
"No, just that my hiding ones are much more polished."
"Ah. Well, I should hate for us to have to split up, anyhow."
"As would I. You know, I still can't truly believe that you're you."
"I really haven't change, Mr. Bridgerton," you say.
"No?" he asks, looking you over thoughtfully. "Well, perhaps I have."
"You have."
"How so?" he asks, a small smile on his face. You look him over for a long moment before smiling back.
"You've gotten taller," you say. Colin lets out a tut of laughter.
"Indeed."
"But, I'm sure it's also your travels that are to blame for the man I met tonight."
"I would agree with that estimate," he says, "I learned a lot during my journeys that I am not sure I would have ever discovered at home."
"I can't help but feel envious," you say, "I've always wanted to travel, too."
"Really? Where to?" he asks.
"Anywhere, truthfully. But I've always been fascinated by Florence."
"It is truly gorgeous," he says with a nod.
"You've been?"
"I have. They have absolutely the best food of any of the places I've been. But what's more is they even have the best dances."
"The best dances?"
"Yes, they've taken our plain old quadrille and changed it into something magical," he says. He seems to notice the excitement in your eyes, because his smile only grows. "I couldn't help but notice that you're an accomplished dancer."
"Oh, please," you say, self-depreciatingly, "I'm passable, but certainly wouldn't call myself accomplished."
"I had no complaints," he says softly. He waits for you to give him a smile before continuing. "And if you spent one day in Florence, I know you would out dance every woman in there."
"They are truly that good?" you ask.
"Would you like me to show you?" he asks. He has come to a stop in the center of the gardens. A large fountain trickles softly behind him, the air moist with the shooting spouts. You study him for a moment, waiting for him to say he was joking, to turn back to the Colin you had known.
"Are you serious?" you ask.
"Of course," he says, holding out his hand.
"There's no music."
"You don't need to hear the music to feel it," he says, taking your hand in his and pulling you in close. "Just follow along. It's got the same steps as the quadrille you know, but with a little more movement."
You nod your head and focus on the moves. Without music playing, it is a little harder to get into the rhythm, but he is correct, after a few steps, you can feel the music echoing inside of you.
His hand on your waist presses slightly, making your hips move more fluidly. You are certain if anyone were to see, it would mean scandal, but you cannot fight the smile growing on your face. Again, he shows you how to add more movement into a step, bringing the two of you closer again.
You have danced through one whole song in your head, and you don't want to stop anytime soon. Never in your life before have you danced like this. You feel so free, so graceful. And it is at this feeling, that you trip on an upturned stone and crash into Colin's arms.
The music has stopped playing in your mind. There is only the soft sound of water, the trill of crickets, and your pounding heart.
You have never been this close to a man. Your chest is flush against his. You can feel his breath, and watch as he looks down, too, at your bodies pressed together.
His eyes catch yours and everything seems to slow. There is only his warm brown eyes, locked onto your own, and the hand on your back that moves softly, comfortingly.
"Colin," you whisper. He smiles widely.
"I like when you say my name."
"I've said it a million times before," you say with a laugh.
"You've never said it like that."
"We should be heading back," you say. The hand on your back grows firmer, like he would do anything to keep you against him.
"No one knows we're out here," he says.
"My mother will come looking soon."
"Y/N," he whispers, his head ducking so that his words dance over your neck. You shiver slightly, and his smile only grows.
"I see what you mean," you say, looking back up at him, "I like the way you say my name, too." The look on his face is purely prideful.
"Don't go back inside," he says.
"We'll both be ruined."
"What if I don't care?" he asks.
"You do care," you say gently, "And so do I."
"Perhaps you're right."
"I am right, Colin," you say, beginning to pull away. He pulls you back in and your lips are a breath from his. His eyes flicker between your own and your lips, that are practically begging to be kissed. Your eyes close, against your better instinct, and you lean in.
Snap!
In an impossibly quick moment, Colin has pushed you out of his arms and ducked into an alcove of the garden. You wait for someone to appear, for your reputation to be ruined, but no one comes. Another minute passes and Colin comes out.
"Perhaps, you should get back inside, Y/N."
"Where did you run off to?" you ask, jumping again at his appearance. Before he can answer, you sigh. "Right," you say with a laugh.
"Let's get you back inside," he says. "That was too close."
Colin does get you back into the ball without scandal falling on you.
When you find your mother again, her face is nearly as red as her dress. Clearly, she has not followed her own rule regarding glasses of champagne. She says that Lord Charmbord had been searching for you, but you can't even begin to pretend to care.
For the rest of the ball, your eyes are always on Colin. Unfortunately, you don't get to spend any more of the evening with him. The closest you get is a moment on the dancefloor where you briefly switch partners.
His hand meets yours at the same time his eyes do, and once again, the world around you is gone. There is only the music and his face, looking at you in a way you can't precisely name, but that you're dying to know.
But just as soon as it happens, it is over, and you are back in the arms of a man you have absolutely no interest in.
As the night comes to a close, you bid Eloise and Lady Bridgerton goodnight. You can't help peering around the both of them for Colin, but just when it appears he is not coming and you have turned towards the exit, he calls your name.
"Miss Y/L/N," he says dashingly, "I would be remiss if I didn't bid you a goodnight."
"Goodnight, Mr. Bridgerton," you say, watching as he bends down to kiss your hand. Quietly, so that only you can hear, he says, "Say it just once more, please."
"Goodnight, Colin," you whisper. When he stands up straight, he is fighting off a smile. He bids your mother goodbye, and then you are getting handed off into your carriage, and ripped away from what feels like the first real night of your life.
The ride home is quiet. You answer your mother's few questions, but when she can see you're in no mood to talk, she sinks into her own thoughts.
The countryside is dark, but as you look out upon it, you can't help but wish. Wish that this was the very first page of your story with Colin, not where your story line will end. That he was as enchanted by you as much as you were by him. And pray that he is not in love with someone else.
At home, when you finally get into bed, you are restless. You toss and turn well into the early hours, questions rolling about your mind, all about Colin.
Too early the next morning, you are awoken by a lady's maid. The day after a ball is always busy. Gentleman callers all morning, and mothers and daughters in the afternoon, to get caught up on the morning callers.
While your handmaidens go about getting you dressed and pinning your hair up, you can't help but relieve the night before. It sparkles in your mind - truly the most perfect night you could have imagined.
You pray that it is not the last, but you know that you have to remain practical. Besides the looks and smiles he gave you, Colin did not lead on that he was interested in marriage anytime soon. You, on the other hand, were very interested in getting wed off this season.
As you walk down the steps to your sitting room, you assure yourself that it will be okay, if Colin does not feel the same.
"It is too early for callers!"
At the foot of the stairs, you hear your doorman arguing in hushed tones. You can hear another voice, but not clearly enough to match the sound to its owner. Before you can open the door and find out, your mother comes bustling down the staircase and passes you.
"Who could it be at this hour!" she says, ripping open the door.
Colin Bridgerton is standing in your doorway, a bouquet of orange tulips in hand. His eyes are wide when they circle to meet yours, but then they soften.
"Y/N," he says gently. The doorman stutters a response at this lack of formality, so Colin corrects himself. "I mean, Miss Y/L/N. Mrs. Y/L/N," he says, turning to look at your mother.
"I apologize for the early arrival, but I wanted to be the first here," he says.
"The first here for what?" your mother asks in shock.
"To call upon Miss Y/L/N, of course. You see, I shared quite an exquisite time with her last night, and hope that I may spend more time in her good company."
"Really?" you and your mother ask in unison. You laugh, and feeling bold, walk towards Colin. Still keeping a respectful distance from him, knowing that your doorman was watching closely, you take the tulips from him.
"Really," he says. "I was enchanted to meet you again, Y/N. Please don't have someone waiting on you."
"Not at all," you say. "Would you like to come in for tea, Colin?"
"I would love to," he says with a grin that nearly takes your breath away.
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bumblequinn · 1 year ago
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hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.
as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)
but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:
changing expectations
the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!
my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.
when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.
so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?
with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.
with that in mind:
#1: work slower
when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.
instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.
i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!
now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.
doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.
however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:
#2: switch projects
sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.
this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.
the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.
what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.
but it doesn't have to stop there.
#3: switch focus
maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?
let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:
what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?
and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?
what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?
any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.
or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.
but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:
#4: learn something new
when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.
for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)
it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)
that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:
music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang
mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix
general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!
(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)
of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:
#5: consume art you love
not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.
but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.
and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.
what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.
as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.
none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.
and finally,
#6: rest, and live your life
let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?
take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).
it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.
i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.
when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)
before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:
be kind to yourself.
being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.
i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.
i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.
thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.
with care, bee 🐦
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elmushterri · 4 months ago
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I filled an entire page of my sketchbook with Nori!
I love them sm!!! This has to be one of my favorite of your rewrites, I seriously did not think I could actually care abt PJ Masks past the age of 6 but now I'm obsessed 😭
On another note, just a random thing I'm curious about, before breaking off from GunnTech, did the main three basically live at the facility since they were initiated? I guess they do from what I’ve seen, but I was just wondering if they ever had to go to like. School or something, when they're not training. And if they ever got to see their family again (though I doubt both the kids and their family would want to lol)
And one more thing, totally important and necessary to ask, how does Nori acquire the kids? (..that doesnt sound right)
Like does he break in to the facility from time to time or did they just bring them with him when they left GunnTech or does he take them in when he finds them just out and about??
NORI… OUR FAVOURITE PROBLEM! The way you draw eyes scratches my brain /positive.
I think the idea is that everyone does live at GunnTech, they have rooms and go to school. GunnTech also has a prison somewhere (like, sci fi, clean, sterile white prison, a glass front-wall for cells instead of bars, and that’s where everyone gets put in Season 4. But, before that, when the main three villains (or at least, just Luna and Nori) escaped, it wasn’t totally locked down so they had to walk out suspiciously/tell the security guards reasons (you need to give reasons when leaving GunnTech so, “I’m hanging out with a friend” comes with ‘who is the friend + give us contact details’) and then probably remove a tracker (unsure as to whether the wristbands are the trackers or the trackers are put into their chest implants), and try to avoid getting caught for the rest of the time (until season 3-4 ofc). The main story probably begins with the three MCs trying to find them and bring them back. Romeo’s wanted cause he stole tech, though, he’s not a mutant.
Nori risks his life basically (not literally but he risks huge punishment) by constantly breaking into the facility to get out new kids. Kids who haven’t yet been mutated all have one room (several large rooms for many kids’ bunk beds basically, not literally one big room 😭) and he goes in and saves one or two each time. Some kids don’t *want* to come with him, thinking this is a cool superhero opportunity. He has an easier time helping kids who are scared and having second thoughts. He’s very gentle.
Also reminder that Nori had their finger prints burned off yipeeee. He’s not letting that happen to the others. (It doesn’t happen to every kid, but GunnTech probably has categories (like, heroes: animals, space, spies, drivers, healers?) and if you’re in the (name is a work in progress) Spies Category (stealth category?) like Nori, you get your finger prints burned off.
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Daisy is canonically one of the only two Ninjalino names we know! I might make her into a small side character so that art isn’t 100% solid but eh!
Also he can’t really just “take them back to their parents”. If you’re a child at GunnTech, your parents either gave you away for money or you’re an orphan.
Nori’s usually a sassy ‘problem’ but they have their really serious and gentle moments.
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shoemakerobstetrician · 1 year ago
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Season 3 Opening Scene Nightingale 1941 Theory
So, season 2 opened with a flashback that had us totally reevaluating Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s relationship. I think the same will be true of season 3.
I think we will return to the night in 1941, to find out that they kissed, danced, or more that night.
1 - Why are they sitting at a table in the bookshop just drinking, no food on the table? When they’re drinking they don’t use a table. I think it’s to clue us in that there is more to the scene than what we are seeing - at some point before or after they had dinner.
2 - We know that Aziraphale did the apology dance in 1941 - again an indication that there is probably more to that evening than what we have seen so far.
3 - When Crowley says ‘no nightingales’ in S2E6 we now think he’s referring to the scene at the end of S1E6 in the Ritz, but it does seem a bit of a reach. It was a very nice moment, but I don’t think a relationship defining one that would cause both of them to think of it as their song.
4 - A Nightingale Sang was released in 1940, first charting at the end of December 1940. It would have been a hit in 1941 (according to Wikipedia it got up to #2).
5 - I think they had dinner, they danced, or perhaps even kissed to Nightingale as it was playing on the radio, and it became their song in a much more significant moment in 1941.
6 - When Aziraphale says to Crowley “Perhaps one day we could…dine at the Ritz” after “You go too fast for me Crowley” he would then be directly referring to their song from 1941.
7 - When it plays at the Ritz at the end of season 1, it’s because the pianist finds themselves mysteriously compelled to perform it, like the Oxford bus driver taking them to London.
8 - And finally, when Crowley says “no nightingales” at the end of S2 it is just devastating, it’s him saying there is no us.
And another thing: in the lyrics to Nightingale: That Certain night, the night we met/There was MAGIC abroad in the air. 😁
One more thing: I can certainly see Neil gleefully being like “Psych, it WASN’T their first kiss.”, and the scene would be just as heartbreaking if not more so if it was what Crowley thought was their last kiss.
ETA I just rewatched the bookshop table scene for like the 17th time. Holy 💩 is the dialogue strange and very loaded. The “trust me” bit, and the “shades of grey”. Throughout the whole scene Aziraphale is sideways eye fucking Crowley. There is simply no way we’re not going to see more of this scene in Season 3.
I very much like this whole idea, it probably won’t happen. Maybe someone will write a fanfic at least.
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madlori · 1 month ago
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Ok my fam, I think we all need a lil Come to Jesus moment. So let's talk about it.
"I'm disappointed Tommy wasn't in 8x02 and 8x03." That's ok! We'd all like to see him, and see our boys together. Going by precedent, we can probably expect to see him in 6-8 episodes this season (it could be more - Taylor had 13 episodes in season 5 - but we shouldn't count on it) and we've already burned one. I'd prefer not to have half of them during the opening disaster when SO MUCH ELSE is going on. I'd rather him appear in episodes when he's got a storyline with Buck, or even on his own, and especially at the midseason break or the end of the season when Relationship Events are more likely to happen.
"But the 217 engine!" I know. But as we sometimes like to say to other fans - we kind of baited ourselves with that. It was suggestive, sure. But the fact that production has MADE a 217 engine is also suggestive that we may see it again later, and they just put it in the hangar scene because they already had it and they had to fill up that hangar with as many vehicles as possible.
"An airplane disaster without using the pilot??" As others have pointed out, Tommy's not a jet pilot. And don't let anybody make you think you were nuts for thinking it was possible. It was definitely a reasonable theory, with supporting evidence, that he might be involved, but in the end, the big opening disaster is always going to be about our mains. As it should be. And honestly? It was great.
"But the whole point of bringing him back was to integrate him with the 118 more!" I'm sure that's still a goal they have, but it's probably easier said than done. Not just from a writing standpoint, but a contractual one, in that there's a limit to how often they can use him, so they have to pick and choose where.
"It's like they don't care about this relationship as much as we do." You're right. NOBODY will care about it as much as we do. They care about the main characters, about the show's actual premise (i.e. first responders encountering wild situations, secondarily the characters' personal lives). There is no universe in which ANY relationship in the show will be prioritized as much as we, the fandom, would like it to be. That's just life in the big city. But they do care, oh boy, they do. Enough to use BT scenes in off-season promo. Enough to write Tommy into a scene in the opening episode where, frankly, he didn't NEED to be. Also, consider this - to shoot that scene, Lou was probably on set a grand total of one day, MAYBE two. And they made sure to include him in the jokey "bee pickup lines" reel. You know what other relationship we haven't seen much? Buddie. They have not appeared together outside of work (and honestly, barely AT work either) except in the birthday party scene, and hey, did you notice that they do not interact at ALL in that scene? Buck spends that entire scene interacting only with Tommy. And that's a friendship featuring two mains that we know they value. That's not indicative of anything except the sheer scarcity of screentime.
"They should be promoting the queer relationship!" Should they? They've never really done that before, with the several pre-existing queer relationships. I have always sort of appreciated that they have not hung a neon sign on Buck and Tommy saying LOOK AT OUR NEW QUEER PAIRING. It's never gotten the Very Special Episode treatment - Buck never had gay panic, or much coming-out drama - and I like that. I like treating it no differently than other romantic pairings on the show. And they did actually promote it quite a bit when it happened. Now it would just feel kinda performative to me.
"Will he be in [whatever episode]?" Imma gently suggest we not do this every week. He'll be there or he won't. There'll be some we know he's in (I think 8x06 is a lock), some we won't know and will be pleasantly surprised, or unpleasantly surprised. I'd say odds for 8x04 are...20%, rising to at least 50% with 8x05 and 100% for 8x06.
And if you ever feel sad about it - go look at a still of Buck from any episode so far this season, and say to yourself, "This man is having heaps of amazing sex with his hot pilot boyfriend on the regular. Canonically."
I know a lot of us have encountered some pretty irritating gloating from people who hate this relationship (in a frankly weirdly obsessive way) about him being not there. Just remember - that's all they have to gloat about. The only "victory" they can claim is the absence of a character? Lame. And it's not even a victory, it's just the cost of doing business when your ship involves a recurring character. Sit back and enjoy your canon relationship between two men who've actually kissed on screen and ignore it. We can be generous about it.
So let's not talk ourselves off the deep end, shall we? I'd like to keep being a reasonable fandom.
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manifestobackshot · 6 months ago
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Hoon who's so stressed after a Figure skating comp and just needs to take out all his stress on you <33
Stressed
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Poor Hoon who can't even wait to properly be alone with you, his manager turned dirty little secret, to fuck.
    ✰ PAIRING
↳ park sunghoon x fem!reader
    ✰ GENRES & AUS
↳ smut, figure skater!sunghoon au, secret relationship
    ✰ WORD COUNT
↳ 1.3k words
    ✰ WARNINGS/CONTENT
↳ reader is sunghoon's manager, they have sex in secret, car sex, biting, pain kinda, unprotected sex, creampie, rough sex, biting, sunghoon is a little selfish
if you read, please reblog.
It was a bad run for Sunghoon, showed up late and lost 15 minutes of preparation, couldn't land his routine as he usually does, didn't place like he usually does. As a perfectionist, this fucked him up more than anything. Even worse, his coach scolds him after, going on about how conditioning obviously wasn't conditioning him enough, how this season seems to be the beginning of his downfall, how so much work goes into molding and shaping Sunghoon into the perfect skater, and yet he still manages to end up like this.
His coach has more words to say, but as you pass by, he stops his scolding and calls you over, "Christ, I can't anymore. Do you have the manager's spare I gave you?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Just take him out to the van first, I don't have the energy right now. Sunghoon, show up at 6 am tomorrow, not 7 am. We clearly have work to do," he finishes, rolling his eyes and storming off.
You two walk out to the parking garage alone, passing by a couple cars exiting. It's quiet on the way there, not a peep from Sunghoon, only the sounds of cars, the rustling of his competition bag, and your footsteps.
You approach and unlock the team van, opening the door and letting Sunghoon in the backseat before climbing in with him. You have some room to sit, talk, and ask what the fuck happened in the comfort of idle time and tinted windows.
Surprisingly, Sunghoon is first to ask something, "Can you do me a favor?"
"Mm," you acknowledge, dropping your professional manager act and inching closer to him, leaning on his shoulder.
"Help me out," he starts, taking your hand into his and guiding it onto his abdomen, trailing it down towards his sweats, "relieve some stress for me?"
You know that the rest of the team, coach included, take forever to deal with things after the competition. Usually, Hoon would be back there mingling and whatnot for at least another half hour. Right now, you have the time.
...And how could you ever say no to him when he's like this? Aching against your hand, cold palms guiding you to where he wants you most, face flushed with frustration and humiliation from the verbal ass-whooping handed to him, instability in his voice from anger... no isn't even on your mind.
You don't even say anything to him as you gently move his hand so you can slightly roll over and quickly undo the button on your black jeans, sliding them and your panties down your thighs and off of you to place them in the front seat for easy access later on.
Sunghoon, though he wants you so bad right now, doesn't say anything as he waits for you to get ready for him to fuck you. He just looks at you, lips parted and brows slightly furrowed, overwhelmed with both frustration and need to release. His sweats and boxer briefs are pulled down just enough to release his cock, swelled with arousal, so he can spit in his hand and swipe it over his pink tip and stroke himself in anticipation.
You know he gets quiet when he's angry, and he loves to fuck when he's angry. It's nothing against you, in fact, he can express himself much better through his action than his words in moments like this.
And express himself he does when you hover over him to lower yourself onto him, sacrificing your comfort and preparation to take care of your dear skater Sunghoon, and he places his hands on your hips, pushing you down onto his length with a searing stretch that feels good only because it's him.
He hisses entering you dry like this, enjoying the warmth of your walls but missing the wetness, though, in this moment, he doesn't care. In time, you'll be exactly what he needs, he knows it.
Words can't express how disappointed he is in himself, how frustrated he is, how mad he is at his coach, or how good you feel around him. All he can do is bury his face in the crook of your neck as he lifts your hips to set the pace he wants you to fuck him at—rough and fast.
You give in, keeping up with the direction his hands are so desperately signaling to you. You look down at him as he's focused on how it feels to fuck it out, thick, dark eyebrows knitted in pleasure and chasing release.
When Sunghoon looks up, you feel the tip of his nose and the plushness of his lips trail upwards before leaving you, replacing the sensation with his teeth grazing—no, biting— your neck.
It's hard to match his desperation and fuck him as hard as he wants you when he's locked onto you like this, thrusting upwards into you. You roll your hips into him, causing the seats of the car to buck and creak with every movement.
Still, it isn't enough for Sunghoon, muffling frustrated whimpers against the skin of your neck—now purple and red—as he tries to bury himself deeper, deeper, and deeper into you. Maybe, if he buries his cock into you deep enough, he'll be numb to the anger.
Truthfully, though, it's clear that he still feels every ounce of anger in his body, and he's making you feel it too. His strokes are vicious and sharp, tip hitting your cervix every time he bottoms out. It hurts, but you let him, cause you know he needs it.
Hoon feels blissfully painful inside of you as he drags his length against your walls, face still buried in your neck, kissing, licking, and biting you. He loves the way you feel wrapped around him, slowly becoming wetter as he fucks you so, so well.
He groans, both out of frustration and how good your cunt feels as he mercilessly uses you to relieve his stress. His hair clings to your skin as sweat sticks you two together with Sunghoon's face buried into your neck and chest, breathing heavily as he chases his orgasm.
The sound of your wet cunt makes his eyelids flutter closed, long eyelashes softly brushing against your skin as he imagines how hot it must look for you, all sloppy and swollen, to take his cock this roughly. He wishes he had to time and space to lay you out and see himself stretch your tight pussy out on his cock, taking every inch of him like he know you can.
He loves having you like this, knowing that you'd do anything for him even though it means you hurt a little more for him. You ache, for his pleasure. You act, for his pleasure.
Sunghoon grips the flesh on your hips harder, so strongly that you know it'll bruise and ache for days after, a reminder of him. He grabs you and slams you into him, bottoming out every time without failure, at an ever-increasing, delicious pace.
His breathing picks up and he slides down the seat just the slightest bit so he can fuck up into you even better. Hoon can't hide anymore, moans escaping his hips as he pushes you down further, and further, until he's moaning in desperation of release.
As he's pounding mercilessly into your sopping wet cunt, with one sharp motion, he fully sheaths himself into you one last time, shooting his hot, anguished cum inside of you, shuddering against your skin as he shallowly fucks the last drops of cum out of himself.
Out of breath, he pulls out of you, letting his load drip out of you onto his sweatpants before you carefully roll over to start cleaning up.
"Sorry," he exhales, "was a little stressed."
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armageddidnt · 1 year ago
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Welcome to My Collection of Random Thoughts during my nth* rewatch of Good Omens Season 2
*only amazon prime knows the exact number at this point but I’m fairly certain it’s in the double digits
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Episode 1: Gabriel’s fly lurking in the box when Aziraphale first takes it inside 👀
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Crowley’s promise of “two minutes” basically means that he’s been homeless and living in his car for the past 4 years strictly so that he can be within 2 driving minutes of Aziraphale at all times in case his angel needs him I’m not crying you are
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So here I think the key word is “fragile,” Crowley knows they are ostensibly safe from their respective sides but that could change at any moment so he’s basically spent the last 4 years in anxiety-ridden terror hovering as close to Aziraphale as he can to try and protect him from heaven, hell, and anyone else that would want to bring him harm after all that business they pulled in season 1 with stopping Armageddon
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Episode 2: I just happened to pause the episode while Aziraphale is lying to the angels about his miracle and LOL Michael really outdid himself here (Sheen, not the Archangel)
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Gabriel trying to swat flies and almost smashing the repository of every single one of his memories
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I’m cAckling
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So if Good Omens exists in Good Omens, does that mean Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett exist in Good Omens?? Do you think they based their Aziraphale and Crowley characters on Aziraphale and Crowley??
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Episode 3: So I’m trying to find any hints or foreshadowing of the Gabriel Beelzebub thing bc tbh I did kind of feel like it came out of nowhere which is really the only issue I have with them. I found this one scene where Beelzebub almost ?? seems to be concerned about Gabriel ?? But it’s blink and you miss it and there could be lots of other reasons why Beelzebub doesn’t want to fail in locating Gabriel (pressure from/leverage over heaven, etc) so idk
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More Foreshadowing Fly content 🪰
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Episode 4: So here we’ve seen that Shax can just appear inside the Bentley bc she did it earlier to talk to Crowley. Shax only pretended to be a hitchhiker so she could be invited in because Azirpahale was driving so technically she needed permission to cross the threshold of an angel 👀
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This scene will never not destroy me the 1941 flashback is the absolute sOFTEST thing ever to happen on this show
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We really need more context here I need to see the Crowley-Furfur Monkey Rides
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Episode 5: ahahaha thank you google translate for absolutely destroying my sanity this evening
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POP goes the Ziraphale
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Okay I know you can’t hear it in the gif but just before Nina takes Maggie’s hand, there’s a very quiet miracle noise, like Azirpahale literally MADE Nina dance with Maggie, he said I’m writing a Mina Jane-Austen-Ball-AU and my otp will KISS godDAMMIT
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Azirpahale seems lowkey kind of manic this whole scene tho, he’s controlling literally everyone to force Nina and Maggie together and whenever Crowley says anything that pokes holes in Aziraphale’s Magical Jane Austen Ball Fairytale, Aziraphale just straight up denies it. He wants Nina and Maggie to dance and he wants him and Crowley to dance and he refuses to acknowledge anything beyond that.
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Is this just Shax insulting Crowley for how much of a nuisance he’s been or a reference to his former status as an angel ???
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They’re both completely dismissive of each other when they’re trying to say something important and that’s the main issue they’ve been having this entire season tbh
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Episode 6: I think it’s funny that Crowley describes the angels as bees here because in the book, Neil/Terry describe humans the same way. Guess we have more in common than we thought huh?
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So the metatron was the one who originally decided Gabriel would be memory wiped and not sent to hell, and he was also the one that decided not to sound an alarm about Gabriel for some reason and said ‘just go find him yourself’ instead. The metatron has definitely got his own agenda and you can bet he doesn’t want Aziraphale up there in heaven because he’s a “leader” and he’s “honest” like that’s exactly what Gabriel was and look where it got him 👀
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There’s just something I can’t quite put my finger on about the metatron bringing Aziraphale a coffee from “give me coffee or give me death” and then asking Aziraphale if he’s going to take the coffee he’s giving him…
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I have not seen a single person talk about this since s2 came out but Nina literally calls Maggie “angel” because that’s the term of endearment they hear Crowley using for Aziraphale !!!! I’m still going fERAL over this and I can’t believe no one else is eitHER
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Something about this part of The Final Fifteen compared to this scene from the first episode is so representative of the entire season. Azirpahale keeps saying “my way or get out” and Crowley finally hits a wall and can follow Aziraphale no further. So he does just that. He goes.
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I’m sure a lot of us by now have seen this post that brings up how Aziraphale literally pushes the remains of Crowley into his mouth and swallows and it’s the only thing I see when I watch this now
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We still don’t know for certain if Crowley queued up this song to play on their way to the Ritz or if the Bentley started playing it all on its own and it’s driving me insane
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Basically how I am doing after my Truly-Alarming-Number-th watch of this traumatizing episode/season. WELP hope you enjoyed this garbage dump of my thoughts and feelings time to go cry for a bit again BYE
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