#just show her a salamander and lie it’s okay <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Worthy (pt4)

Author’s note: I am crappy at tagging people. Inbox me if you want to be added, and just keep poking me if I keep forgetting to add you. <3  @rampant-salamander @bolontiku​

I had to wonder if the powers from Thor’s hammer included allowing me to disappear into the floor so I would not have to face the source of my embarrassment again. I wanted to slam the bathroom door and lock it and hide until Thor left. But I somehow guessed his sense of chivalry would be too great to just leave me to die of embarrassment and he would do something stupid, like breaking down the door, to ensure I was okay, instead of just understanding I needed to lick my wounds in private. Particularly when he thought humans were prudish about nudity. Did they walk around in Thor-land buck naked all the time? I mean, if they all looked like Thor that might not be a bad thing. I was far too conscious of my lumps and cellulite and stretch marks to be okay with joining them in the nude party though. 

I dropped the towel and looked at myself in the floor to ceiling mirror, trying to guess what he must have thought when he hauled me off the floor. I was pale. I’d been far too busy finishing my thesis to be out in the sun in the spring, and it was obvious by the way my arms were the same fish belly white as my stomach. The time spent in the lab showed on my tummy and hips and thighs, all of which were broader than they’d ever been before. My roommate had said curvier was a nicer word, but I knew exactly how many slices of pizza had contributed to each new curve, and the fact that none of that skin had seen the sun in months made me feel bigger. I couldn’t lie and say I was completely unsatisfied with my body. I was just bigger than I’d been, and more uncomfortable in my skin. I’d promised myself I’d find some sort of activity to balance with my work life, for no other reason than for my health. I just didn’t buy into hating myself because I didn’t belong on the pages of a magazine. My body housed my brain, and my brain was pretty awesome. The rest was just packaging and resources for keeping my brain safe and at optimal function. But that was what I thought. I cast a critical eye on myself trying to figure out what Thor would have thought seeing me bare-assed on the floor. Given his impatience with my modesty, he probably hadn’t thought much at all.

I pulled my pyjamas on, and had to laugh at myself. The spaghetti strapped tank-top and boxer shorts didn’t cover much more than my towel had. But I couldn’t cross the living room again to find something else if I ever wanted to get rid of the man-god sitting in my living room.

I steeled my courage and opened the bathroom door. He’d figured out how to turn on my television, and had stopped on what appeared to be a documentary about the Avengers Initiative. He laughed at the television and shook his head, then clicked it off when he realized I’d come into the room. 

“Do you want something to drink?” I offered.

“I rather think you do not wish for me to stay that long, Ella Carmichael.” He pushed himself off the couch and walked into the kitchen where I was refilling my wine glass.

“You know, you can just call me Ella. It’s weird to use someone’s first and last name,” I commented. “Are you sure you don’t want a drink? I hate to drink alone.” I held the bottle up in offering. I could see him hesitate for a moment, probably contemplating the honour involved in drinking wine or something.

“If you insist,” he smirked. I poured him a glass and came around the kitchen island to hand it to him. When he took the glass from me, he narrowed his eyes and took my wrist into his hand. He turned it over, palm facing up and ran his thumb across it. I’m not ashamed to admit I got goosebumps; it was more intimate than I’d been touched in recent memory. 

“Have you always had that mark?” I realized he was running his thumb around my left hand in a pattern. I looked down, but couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

“I can’t see any mark.” I pulled my hand away and held it under the bright light over the island. Nothing. Thor took my hand again and looked closer, and traced the design out again on my palm. He was seeing something that I was not. He dropped my hand and picked up the hammer from where he’d placed it on the floor by my front door. He put it carefully down on the granite countertop of the island, and pointed at a big fancy three pointed knot on the face of the hammer.

“This is called a triquetra. It is also on your hand. I would know how long it has been there,” he explained. I shrugged.

“Well, I can’t see anything at all. But that’s the hand I picked up myewlnor with. Maybe it left a mark?” I knew I was completely butchering the name of the hammer, but god knows I couldn’t remember how to say it.

“Mjolnir.” Of course he would correct me.

“Mee-owl-neer?” I tried again.

“Mjolnir.”

“M-yol-neer.” I was reasonably sure I had it right that time. He nodded, and took my right hand in his, flipping the palm up. He traced his thumb around in the same pattern.

“It’s on this hand as well. This is a mystery. I do not know you well, Ella, but Tony seems to think you quite intelligent. Intelligence is not all there is to worth. But it is perhaps somewhere to start,” He pondered. I bit my lip.

“I don’t know how you judge worthiness where you’re from, but I’m not anything special. I don’t run around rescuing kittens from trees, or saving maidens from dragons, or curing cancer. I can’t even donate blood. I have some weird antibody.” I protested. Thor’s mouth cocked to one side in a grin.

“I have never done those things myself, and yet I am worthy. I will speak to my father,” he determined. He finished his glass of wine.

“You appear well. Your colour has come back, and you no longer show the signs of shock. I bid you good rest, Ella Carmichael. Thank you for sharing your libation with me, and for indulging my concern,” he bowed his head a little, hefted the hammer and turned. I followed him to the door. He turned as he crossed the threshold and placed a hand on my shoulder. “I will bring news once I have more understanding of what has happened.”

XXX 

“So Thor saw me naked last night.” It was quite possibly the best first-line I’ve ever had. And I got to drop it on Angela as we walked through the build-a-Belgian-waffle line. She dropped her fork on the floor with a loud clatter.

“What? Naked? How?”

“Well, it all started when I had no clothes on,” I began.

“Seriously, Ella. What happened?” She demanded.

“Seriously. I was taking a bath and he knocked on the door. I figured it was you with the passcard, even though I’d said it could wait. So I wrapped my uber-skimpy-Stark-Industries-micro-towel around me, figuring I’d be opening the door a crack and accepting a passcard from you. He was at the door. And he just invited himself in, plain as you like. Said he was concerned about me,” I started. Angela shook her head, and as we walked through the waffle decorating station, I finished filling in all the details. 

Once we were seated at a table, she took one of my hands and looked at it.

“I don’t see it either,” she sighed. “Do you suppose he has weird powers that let him see through things? Maybe that’s why he didn’t care that you were naked. Maybe he sees all of us as naked all the time.”

“You’re confusing him with Superman,” I laughed. “He has x-ray vision.”

“Superman is a comic book character! Thor is real! Who knows what all his powers are.” She cut her waffle up and started in on it. I pushed my waffle around the plate a little and drank my coffee. I didn’t like waffles. At all. I ate the mountain of fruit I’d piled on top of it, but couldn’t bring myself to get into the waffle itself.

“Well, not making a big deal about naked women is one of them. He made it clear he thought my prudishness was weird.”

“He’s weird. Most men would be hard pressed to not scope you out, regardless of how cool they tried to appear,” she stated, and then made a gesture that looked a little like jazz-hands. “Oh-em-gee! Boobies! Play it cool, dude. Play it cool, and she won’t cover up and then?  More Boobies!” Her fake-guy voice was hilarious.

I snorted on my coffee. “I’m hardly in peak physical condition. He probably was just horrified by the wiggly bits and stretch marks.”

“I don’t think they see past the boobies, to be completely honest,” she laughed. I shook my head and finished my fruit. I’d effectively smushed up the waffle until it looked like I’d eaten some of it. 

“What is on the agenda for me today, boss?” I changed the topic and drank my coffee. Angela pulled out a tablet and flicked through it.

“More orientation stuff. We’re going to go to distribution, and learn how to requisition things for your project. And how to req for your apartment too. And how different the two forms are and how important it is to make sure you use the right form,” she started. “Here’s a hint. The importance of using the correct form is inversely proportional to how similar the forms are to one another. You won’t believe that will take most of the morning, but it will. Then you’re seeing Markus after lunch.”

“Can I order bigger towels from distribution? Because the towels in my apartment are ridiculously small.”

“I don’t think so. But you can also requisition outside items from your in-suite purchasing app. Or I can just take you to Macy’s after work,” she suggested. “Are you not going to eat the waffle?”

“Confession?” I made a face. She nodded. “I hate waffles. They’re like a pancake with a skin disease. Disgusting.”

“I take back every nice thing I said about you. Waffles are amazing. Those are flavour pouches.” The look on her face was enough to make me bite my lip to prevent the laughter from slipping free. She was gripping her table knife like she might actually stab me. It would be a sticky ignominious death by maple syrup.

“Flavour pustules, maybe. So gross. I’m more of a bacon and eggs girl,” I admitted. Angela shook her head, her eyes cast downward in disappointment. She finally cracked the tiniest grin.

“Damn good thing you’re funny. Because that might be a deal-breaker otherwise. Come on. Bus your table. Let’s get you off to distribution so you can learn about the pedantry of requisitions.” She winked and grabbed her tray, leading the way over to the kitchen cart before directing us back to the elevator.

Distribution might not have been mired down in red tape, bureaucracy and shenanigans if they’d had a single window. But they were located in a sub-level of the building, below the parkade, completely walled in. There was a single door in, and it was right beside the loading bay. The staff kind of looked like they were a lost race of mole people. They were pale, suspicious of visitors and seemed a little paranoid that the rest of the company was out to make their lives miserable on purpose. The main stock clerk all but hissed at us when we came in. 

Angela made quick work of running through the requisition forms. There was a single line that delineated personal requisitions from project reqs, and it was required for payroll deduction where appropriate. It was fair enough, but wouldn’t it have been simpler just to colour code the forms? I asked Angela as much and she clamped her hand over my mouth.

“Do you want to be barred from ordering things? Don’t rock the boat!” She hissed. “If you can control yourself, I want to show you heaven. This is the one thing that distribution does right.” She led me over to a table that had a pile of different catalogues on it. “This is the only part of Stark Industries that is still analogue because catalogues are so much easier than websites. And here’s where your colour coding idea comes into play. Blue catalogues are filled with workplace supplies, divided by shade of blue. The light blue cover is office supplies; the dark blue cover is electrical doodads, etc. You’ll learn them as you need to. The yellow covers are personal items. Light yellow is Stark Industries branded stuff. I do most of my Christmas shopping in the light yellow. My dad has a thing for polo shirts and golf balls. Goldenrod is household items that are covered by your living allowance. Stuff like bedding, kitchen utensils, towels. I think there’s a surround sound upgrade in there.” She handed me a pencil and flipped the Goldenrod covered catalogue open to bathroom stuff. The towel page was dog-eared. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who hated the mini-towels that came standard in the room. I filled in a requisition for towels and a plush bathrobe. 

Angela brought me back to the stock clerk’s desk and walked me through the process for submitting the order. It was complicated. I almost expected to need to know a secret handshake to complete the transaction.

“So that should all be delivered before the day is over.” She led me back out of the department. True to her word, the distribution department and requisition in-service had taken us almost to lunch. We stepped off the elevator on the floor for my research division. “I figured I’d show you your desk before we eat lunch.”

We rounded a corner into the lab area. The space was wide open, from window to window. There were workstations at the periphery of the room. I assumed the conspicuously empty one was mine, but Angela walked right past it to a desk that was covered in stuff. There was a pile of paperwork on one corner that at first glance I thought was probably the information relating to my proposals. The desk itself was one of the Stark Industries touch responsive computers that I’d been desperate to try since the first time I saw one. The monitor was carefully suspended from the ceiling, keeping the desk as clear as possible. On the far side of the desk was a small cactus with a little plastic welcome stick pressed into the dirt, and a box of office supplies.

Angela made quick work of logging me into the computer. The log in sequence unlocked the desk drawers, so I was able to clear my desktop with one sweep of my arm into the top drawer. Angela sucked in her breath in response to the action.

“I will organize myself later. For now, that desk needs to be clear, if I’m ever going to work at it,” I explained. She grabbed the cactus protectively and held it away from my reach. 

“Promise you won’t hurt the plant,” she demanded. 

“Sure,” I agreed. She put the plant back down and disappeared across the lab, quickly returning with what looked like a shelf. While I watched, she mounted it to the window behind my desk. How she did it was a mystery, it looked like it was just hanging there. Some sort of mysterious Stark Tech, I suppose. She took the cactus and placed it on the corner of the shelf, her shoulders square in defiance of my otherwise blasé organizational skills. As though she already knew that I wasn’t going to organize my desk drawers later. I looked over at the desk beside me and saw that all the way down the bank of windows, there were shelves mounted against the windows, holding the various personal treasures of the employees assigned to each desk. My shelf looked kind of boring with just the cactus on it.

“Okay, let’s get lunch. You’ve got your meeting with Markus in 45 minutes.” Angela steered me back out of the lab and over to the elevator.

[theradioghost]

some recs for my podcast mutuals who are burnt out on horror & sad plot stuff

aka I’ve been seeing a few flavors of people exhausted by several of the most popular podcasts around here being pretty dark right now & I have attempted to put together a tasting menu of some stuff I think might help alleviate that burnout (& which also deserves some more love)

1. I'm okay with stuff that’s still on the dark or macabre side, I'd just like something that isn’t 100% characters I care about suffering horribly all the time, maybe some laughs in there

The Beef and Dairy Network: Like a seriously disturbing body horror podcast, except British satirical comedy! About cows! You kind of have to listen to it to get what’s going on tbqh it’s nearly impossible to explain but if you like horror and are just tired of being depressed about it maybe try this one. NOT for the easily nauseated.

Wooden Overcoats: black comedy sitcom about two rival funeral homes on a small island, one run by The Most Perfect Man On Earth (tm) and the other run by two misanthropic twins with a knack for disaster (and their hypercompetent assistant (and a mouse who wants to be an author)). this one is about watching the protagonist suffer horribly all the time but like, this time it’s usually a lot funnier and honestly he deserves it

Death by Dying: (so far very short) dark comedy about the resident obituary writer of idyllic Crestfall, Idaho, who sets out to tell the stories of how the town’s residents died and ends up uncovering a lot of other things, like conspiracies, and man-eating cats, and a poet’s vanishing childhood home, and what his friend the Angel of Death isn’t telling him about what’s in the dark woods. has very strong ASOUE or Pushing Daisies vibes, that sort of dark whimsy and really distinct narrative voice

Arden: “true crime” comedy-ish mystery podcast feat. two of the best bickering hosts anywhere and a whole third host called homoerotic tension, trying to solve a decade-old Hollywood mystery. secretly a shakespeare adaptation. one of the hosts is michelle agresti. an airline run by killer robots is involved, somehow. it’s a perfect storm

2. I’m good with some plot and higher stakes, but I need something more kind and hopeful right now:

Middle:Below: 10-minute episodes about a man who travels between the worlds of the living and the dead to solve the problems of restless ghosts, and the three friends he does it with -- a ghost, a cat, and a writer. their tagline is “remember: bad things will happen.” this is basically a lie, this show is extremely sweet

Alba Salix: high fantasy medical workplace comedy about hospital staff in a fairytale-ish kingdom, namely one grouchy witch, one distracted fairy, and one extremely disgruntled teenager sentenced to community service. also comes with the miniseries The Axe And Crown, which is about a gay troll bartender, his clueless landlord, and his bombastic niece, and also is one of the most heartfelt touching pieces of audio fiction I’ve ever heard?

Dark Ages: also a high fantasy workplace comedy, but in this one the dysfunctional cast work at a magical natural history museum, which thanks to recent events is now hosting the mythical Dark Lord on top of all the usual problems caused by their complete incompetency.

Solutions to Problems: a sci-fi relationship advice show feat. human host Janet and alien host Loaf. also feat. banter, illegal time travel, what to do when the AI that controls the air you breathe is your on-again-off-again girlfriend, and how to avoid your many spouses when they insist you need to come back to the homeworld and spend some time with your spawn.

Victoriocity: steampunk buddy-comedy mystery show, in which misanthropic detective Archibald Fleet (aka Tom Crowley but he’s grouchy this time) and intrepid newbie journalist Clara Entwhistle (aka an absolute ray of sunshine) uncover some Secret Plots within the government of a very different victorian london. if you like the “opposing personalities come to care deeply about one another as friends” trope this one is for you

Inn Between: not an actual play, but a show about the developing relationships of a party of RPG-esque adventurers as they rest at the inn between campaigns. you don’t see the adventures, just the crew growing closer and learning about one another in their moments of peace.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: sci-fi adventure about a stranded biologist and a ragtag crew of smugglers who set out to resist an authoritarian government, solve a mystery, and prevent a second human-alien war. as far as I can tell their plan for accomplishing this is to be as funny, gay, and adorable as possible, and to dismantle oppressive systems via the power of found family tropes. also via the power of linguistics.

3. just give me the fluffiest, funniest, sweetest, most relaxed, lowest-stakes thing you have:

Everything is Alive: meditative, deeply touching show where Guy From Public Radio holds interviews with inanimate objects. the interviews are super genuine and beautiful and I think they’re improvised, or at least they sound very natural? for people who want to be profoundly moved by a can of generic brand cola (you may not know but you are one of those people)

Standard Docking Procedure: a self-described “hopepunk” scifi sitcom about a group of employees on a space station, dealing with the little daily misadventures of difficult tourists, traffic control disasters, nonexistent love lives, and each other. Has an explicitly stated purpose of staying happy, lighthearted, and comforting.

Love and Luck: tied for absolute most heartwarming audio drama in existence. the story of the relationship between two Australian men, told through voicemail messages, as they fall in love, start a cafe, build a supportive and loving local queer community of close-knit friends and chosen family who help one another through thick and thin, and also find out that they can do magic apparently (IMPORTANT NOTE: there are some darker events and themes tackled in the plot starting around the latter half of the first season, but the focus of the story itself is always on how people support and help one another through trauma and difficulty, and the explicitly stated core premise of the show is that every character will have a happy ending and be okay.)

Quid Pro Euro: Look Around You-esque satire of old 80s and 90s instructional tapes where Felix Trench tells you what the European Union will look like in the far-off year of 2000. I don’t know anything about the European Union but I cackle like a witch when I listen to this

The Cryptonaturalist: I know you’ve seen his tweets. well it’s that but a podcast. just a man with an extremely nice voice talking about fantastical creatures like salamanders that swim through parking lot asphalt or foxes that roam the shelves of libraries at night. in between he reads poetry and generally talks about nature in the most beautiful way you could imagine. this show feels like a peaceful walk in the woods.

The Hidden Almanac: a podcast made 90% out of gentle fantasy worldbuilding, as a somewhat grumpy man in a plague doctor mask tells you about the history of his world and distributes gardening advice. has an immense archive of four-minute long episodes. it’s best to listen in order, because there is continuity, and be aware that about the first year or so has dropped off most feeds. written and performed by much-loved fantasy writer and artist Ursula Vernon and her husband Kevin.

Startripper!!: the other forerunner for most heartwarming audio drama in existence. seriously, you cannot imagine how much joy Startripper!! will bring into your life. it’s just the travelogue of one little alien with a heart full of enthusiasm and love setting out to see the universe and making friends along the way with just about everyone he meets, including his extremely loveable spaceship AI. I really mean it. listen to this show if you listen to nothing else.

Cabin Pressure: BBC radio workplace comedy about the dysfunctional crew of the world’s smallest airline. not only utterly hilarious but will tug on your heartstrings more than you could possibly imagine (this does not look at first like a found family story but it so very much is). warning for bendytoots cucumberpatch but like, in the one and only valid role he’s ever played. you definitely cannot find this show by searching its name on the Internet Archive.

[evening-rose-309]

The Crimes of Grindelwald A. K. A. Boi What The Fuck

Okay. I've seen a lot of people do this and I can see why. I just... I have seen this thing that I love and hate and wanna rewrite and mix up, tear apart, and piece back together with tape and kiss and frame it up on my wall when it's done. I need to rant, so here we go;

Part I The Things I Loved

Grindelwald and Queenie, as @thegaypumpingthroughyourveins puts it, 'bitch bros'. I mean seriously. Blonde? Yes. A bit scary? Yes. Their exes left because they're motherfucking bonkers? Most definitely. Absolutely beautiful in their own ways? Yes hon. I just love these two, okay? M'kay, next.

Vinda 'deeply committed' Rosier sneekin' into her country's Ministry like a boss.

Vinda in pants? Oh yes.

Abernathy dressed an old lady? Funny as fuck and Vinda called him 'madame'.

Abernathy getting his tongue cut off in Gellert's place? Bitch, he deserved it. Where is Percy you asshole?!

Nagini being from Indonesia 🇮🇩 (Yes I am proud, don't shun me for loving my country)

Theseus awkwardly hugging Newt.

Leta telling the story of how she exploded dung bombs under her teacher's desk to join Newt in detention.

Leta flashbacks.

Young Newt is precious.

Regular Newt is a cinnamon roll we must protect him.

Newt licking the sidewalk in broad daylight.

Newt and Jacob bromance.

"Follow the feather"

Jacob and Queenie being all "Jacob no!" "He won't mind" "Jacob..."

The Yusuf Kama parasite thing.

"Calamari..."

Newt heeding Jacob's advice on not saying Tina's eyes are like salamander eyes but she figures it out anyway.

Leta finding Newt and Tina at the ministry.

The Lestrange family is fucked up but I love their history and watching purebloods screw each other over for power and revenge is just funny to me I don't know why.

Gellert's escape from MACUSA.

Gellert showing his followers the outcome of WWlI

Gellert chilling on the roof as he waits for Credence.

Credence's face when he see's Gellert.

Gellert and Albus having a blood pact so that they wouldn't fight each other. (@silverynight and @mischiefs-hawk their married aren't they?)

Aurors fucking shit up and proving Gellert's point.

Credence Aurelius Dumbledore exploding a mountain after he is just given a wand.

Gellert giving Cree a wand and a phoenix.

Gellert and Queenie at the end looking at Cree from the crack in the door.

Bunty asking Newt to take off his shirt. (Don't we all want to see that?)

Baby nifflers.

Regular niffler surviving the whole fire scene.

Niffler stealing from Gellert under his nose, literally.

Scamander bros hugging it out after Leta's death.

Nicolas Flamel being random as hell, but I love this wacky centuries old man anyway.

Matagots turning into kittens.

Giant blue fire dragons.

Part ll Things That Annoy Me (Addressed to Gellert Grindelwald)

Gellert, why did you throw the chupacabra out the window? Poor thing just wanted a hug dammit.

Gellert, did you only kill those people because you wanted their apartment? Did you like the wallpaper or something?

Gellert, did you even notice the niffler stealing the blood pact out of your damn pocket? I saw your foot move to make room for it you ass hat what the fuck?

Gellert, are you seriously telling me you need to smoke out of a goddamn skull to show your followers your visions? That is not healthy, what is wrong with you?

Gellert, why did you kill Leta?

Gellert, where the fuck is your goddamn house? I thought it was in the middle of the Baltic Sea not snowy Austria.

Gellert, where is Percival Graves?

Gellert, why did you not finish off Spielman? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET HIM HAVE HIS WAND BACK?!

Camera on the Leta scene at Hogwarts was shaky as hell.

Gellert, why are you so blinkered?

Gellert, did you literally name the boy you wanted to kill Dumbledore 'Aurelius Dumbledore'?

The pacing in this movie was a wonderful clusterfuck.

Gellert, did you drug Queenie's tea? Is that why she's acting nuts?

Gellert, did you actually bond with Queenie over your exes? Do not project your heartbreak on that poor woman, she is desperate.

Gellert, did you literally order coffins and a carriage specifically for the bodies of that family you killed? If so, how did you not know about the kid?

Bunty, you look like a nice lady but seriously you are creepy as fuck, not going to lie.

And finally,

Gellert, I am going to blame most of the movie things about scenes, pacing, and camera on the directors, but WHY THE FUCK DOES THE CAMERA FOCUS ONLY ON YOUR FACE?! IT MAKES IT HARD FOR ME AND MY -3 GLASSES TO FOLLOW YOU!

Okay y'all, that's all from me. To tell you the truth, I Loved This Movie. The past few months have been hard on me and seeing this magnificent piece of art had been the break and blessing I needed. I love it, I am going to watch it again. And again. And again. I'm looking forward to the next one.

Listen, for those of you who haven't watched it, sorry for the spoilers, but don't listen to all the critics and the haters. Watch the movie. It has its flaws, but a lot of love went into making it. Please go and enjoy it.

[kbbey]

Fantastic Beasts Review! (Spoilers)

This is basically just a big rant about how I think Tina Goldstein deserves better. 

*** YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED **** SPOILERS ****

Okay not even gonna lie I was disappointed in this movie. Maybe I just had to much hope in ma girl Tina but I wanted so much more from her! 

In all the interviews and everything they were talking about how Tina had this newfound ‘confidence’ and while she did I felt like she did absolutely nothing with it. 

I really wanted to see her protecting Credence because I feel like she is/will be the only one who can get through to him because she was the first person to show him kindness/protection from his mother in FBAWTFT. 

Also, the first half of the movie I feel like we didn't even see her and they kept talking about her roaming around France and when they finally see her she's been captured?? Like no way sis she has so much more smarts than that. 

During the big-ass cemetery fight scene she had literally no role... her only effort to save Queenie was like screaming her name as she walks into the flames?? Like no sis. 

LIKE WHAT DID SHE DO THIS MOVIE?? LITERALLY NOTHING. SHE GOT NEWT AND THE GANG TO FOLLOW HER TO PARIS??

WE DIDNT EVEN GET TO SEE HER GRIEVE QUEENIE. We saw like 3 minutes of Theseus and Leta’s goodbye... no offence but I don't really care although I am mad at another female death

I just feel like the OG Team was really overlooked and undervalued in this movie and that makes me a bit sad

In saying that things I liked;

- NEWT LITERALLY RUNNING THROUGH HIS HOUSE LOOKING FOR TINA WHEN JACOB AND QUEENIE ARRIVE

- JACOB BEING LOVESTRUCK

- costumes and score were really really noiceee

- QUEENIE EVERYTHING QUEENIE except for that which we will not mention

- Newt’s adorable Tina smiley newspaper clipping he had in his case which he then very proudly showed to her

- Newt being SHOOK when he found out Tina got another boyfriend (and asking Jacob about it)

- salamander eyes 

- SALAMANDER EYES

- BIG CAT/NIFFLERS/EVERYONE OF THE BEASTS

- Tina being mad at Newt and referring to him as “Mr. Scamander” knowing full well it will throw him off

- lady telling newt to take his shirt off

- eyes like salamanders 

NONETHELESS, I’m sure this is all in JK’s plan to setup some pretty epic movies I’m just super salty we have to wait a few years for more

Also I really like Leta offering a hand to Tina as she got out of the case like she could have been a bitch but she wasn’t and I STAN (also Zoë Kravitz ammiright)

[coleymari-blog]

A War Fought at Home : Chapter 7

Corporal Natsu Dragneel has been through Hell, and unfortunately for him, the ride isn’t quite over. How will a new Rehab program at the local VA help? And will a certain blonde help make matters better?

Modern Military AU. Warnings for mentions of depression and adult language/situations. Other warnings to come as the story progresses. Cross post on AO3 and FF.net.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

The last thing Lucy had wanted to do was go out to some club. After spending the day cleaning her apartment, she had received the text from her friends inviting her for a night out. Honestly, she hadn’t been out much after she started her degree program a year ago and it was getting significantly more difficult to come up with excuses on the fly. Between working at the VA, school, and packing, she was exhausted, only having two weeks to gather up what was important and sell the rest, including most of her bigger furniture pieces. After informing her that Sergeant Fullbuster had actually agreed to her moving in with them, Natsu had also told her that the room came pre-furnished. Luckily that meant extra money in her pocket for rent in her new home. While that helped keep the stress at bay, there was also the looming topic of ‘her father’.

Jude had been in touch recently, within the past couple days, petitioning for her return to Acalypha. Of course, he had cited the ‘unnecessary tribulations of working a lower-class job and living in a sham of an apartment’ as reasons why Lucy should give up on her quest for freedom but those only served as fuel for her fire. She loved living in a tiny studio apartment she got to call her own. The blonde student also loved her job at the VA more than she could describe. Seeing the veterans day after day, overcoming some of the worst obstacles life could throw at them, gave her hope that she too could tackle any problem that came her way. Even if it was a mustached man in a suit who had come to take her away...

Natsu wouldn’t let that happen. The thought came to mind without her consent, taking Lucy by surprise. In the past few months, the two of them had become quite close and she knew without a doubt that he would keep her safe from anything, even her own father. Honestly, when she looked at Natsu she didn’t see his chair no matter how much he despised the thing. She saw him as a strong, courageous, rambunctious Marine who worked harder than anyone she had ever met. She was sure there was very little he could do to change her mind.

Looking around her tiny living space, Lucy sighed as her phone buzzed again. If it was one of the girls further trying to pester her, she was going to flip her lid. A small smile crept onto her dust-covered face when she saw it it was her favorite Marine.

“Hi, Natsu,” Lucy greeted warmly, throwing herself down onto her full-sized bed.

“Heya Roomie,” Natsu teased. Lucy couldn’t help but chuckle at the new nickname. “Your new room looks pretty awesome if I don’t say myself. It’s almost all ready for you.”

The blonde smiled widely to herself, the now familiar blush creeping up her neck and jaw from her shoulders. It seemed to be happening more and more frequently as of late. “I appreciate the effort,” she replied, “and make sure to thank Sergeant Fullbuster for me too.” She knew he had to have helped Natsu with her room but she left it at that as if thanking the Sergeant for simply allowing her to move in. No need to take unnecessary jabs at Natsu’s already rocky self-esteem.

“I’ll be sure to tell him. And you know you can call him by his name, right?” Listening closely, she could hear Natsu shifting in his seat. Something was bothering him.

“Something on your mind, Natsu?” Her voice was sweet and serene while she tried to coax out what was upsetting him. Hopefully, he wasn’t having second thoughts. Lucy had already turned in her notice to the landlord that she was vacating at the end of the month. If her living arrangement with Natsu fell through, she would have no choice but to move back to the family estate.

A small huff escaped his lips before Natsu decided to answer. “Nah, just tired from all the moving.” Lucy’s brows furrowed at his blatant lie but she didn’t call him out on it. If he wasn’t telling her something, it was for a reason. Unfortunately, she didn’t get long to keep trying regardless. “I just wanted to keep you updated. I gotta go shower and shit. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Of course,” Lucy answered. “I’m hanging out with the girls later but I’ll text you when I get a chance,” Natsu said goodbye and hung up quickly, leaving her somewhat stunned. She knew something was up, but she was just going to have to wait for him to tell her.

Looking over at the clock on her nightstand, she figured she had time for a quick nap, a shower, and could finish getting ready just in time for Juvia to pick her up. Lucy quickly stripped down to her gray cotton bra and panties, throwing the clothes she’d been wearing all day into her hamper before tucking herself under her mother’s quilt. She undid the elastic band holding her hair up and allowed her blonde tresses to fall loosely across her baby blue pillow while she pulled the star-streaked blanket underneath her chin and quickly drifted to sleep.

A couple hours passed and Lucy woke up to the sounds of a chirping phone beside her head. She groggily pulled herself out of bed to find that she only had an hour until her friends arrived. Hurriedly, she took off what little clothing she was wearing and got into the shower. While part of her wanted to spend a little extra time ‘focusing on herself’, she knew she didn’t have the time and huffed at her lack of forethought. She knew she should have set an alarm…

With a slinky black dress, blood red lips with stilettos to match, and pin-straight blonde locks, Lucy walked out her front door to the car awaiting her. Juvia, one of her longtime friends from when she first moved to Magnolia, was waving at her from inside the vehicle, obviously excited for their night out on the town.

“It’s so nice to see you Lucy!” the bluenette exclaimed, throwing her arms around Lucy the second she was seated inside. “It’s been forever since you’ve been out with us.”

The blonde grinned back at her friend as she buckled herself in, the two soon on their way to a club called ‘Fairy Tail’. “I know, I know…” she placated, staring out the window at the building flying by. “Between school and work, I’m usually just waaaaaay too tired to go out like this. Plus, with friends like Cana, it’s not like I’ll get away with having just one drink or anything.” Juvia laughed and nodded in agreement, knowing exactly what Lucy meant. Whenever their group of friends got together, their nights tended to go on indefinitely. Cana and Minerva could easily drink any of them under the table and usually did. Yukino could swing either way, often going above and beyond if she gave into temptation. Luckily Levy kept her head about her, never having more than a couple drinks during the entirety of their outings.

The two girls strolled up and the gaggle of them were instantly granted access, probably because of how they were dressed. Cana immediately led them to the bar, situating them in their own little corner. A multitude of guys made passes at each of them, some reveling in the attention while the others shirked it off and kept sipping their drinks in an attempt to seem aloof. Overall, Lucy finished three by the end of the first hour, mainly due to her own boredom.

“Look at the crew over there!” Minerva yelled above the booming music, pointing to another group of young men standing in the VIP section. The ladies all turned to stare and Lucy blanched instantly. Two faces stuck out of the crowd, belonging to both Natsu and Sergeant Fullbuster.

Allowing herself to stare for a moment, Lucy took in the sight of what little she could see of Natsu. His hair was unkempt but slightly more styled than usual. He wore a black button down with his sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows, showing off his sculpted forearms. She could tell his was wearing dark jeans, but couldn’t see his shoes behind the oceanic crowd between them. Gods he looked handsome, but a whisper in the back of her mind told her to drop her gaze like someone staring directly into the sun.

“Hey Lucy...that looks like that guy you showed me a picture of,” Levy prodded, “The hot guy from the VA?”

Lucy could feel her entire body blushing and she could only attribute about 30% of it to the alcohol. “Yeah, but it’s not that big a deal,” she murmured, knocking back the rest of her drink before leaning across the bar to order another. “Don’t bring any attention to us, okay?”

“Too late, one of them is already inbound,” Minerva shouted and Lucy prayed to the Gods above that it was Natsu. Unfortunately, she was soon accosted by one of the other gentlemen from his party.

“Hey there, gorgeous,” the blond oozed, his slender fingers sliding through her hair. Lucy immediately pulled away, shooting back a look of disgust.

“I’m sorry, but who said you could touch me?” she barked, grabbing her new drink that the bartender had just set down beside her hand. How could he have possibly thought that acting so intimately with a stranger was a good idea?

Her assailant chuckled to himself, dropping his hands into his pockets blatantly. “Salamander didn’t say you were so feisty,” he murmured, “Looks and attitude? I like it.”

Lucy scoffed as she threw back the remainder of her Whiskey Sour. Her stomach lurched just by being in his vicinity. Without so much as another word, she rolled her eyes and took off down the bar toward the other side of the club. She was so angry! How dare that guy think he had the right to touch her like that? That creep hadn’t even asked her name. And who the hell was Salamander? Her mind was racing as she tried to weave her way through the outer layer of the crowd but a sharp pain in the side of her leg shook her from her daydreaming.

“Shit, Lucy, I’m so sorry,” Natsu shouted, bending down to take a look at her leg. Lucy watched with a warm gaze as he tended to her, barely coming to when he asked her if she was in any pain.

The blonde shook her head, her body swaying slightly with the momentum. “J-just throbb-bing a bit,” she slurred against her will. Natsu’s eyes went wide before he reached out for her hand.

Looking up at her with big puppy dog eyes, Natsu began pulling her toward him. “Here,” he stated firmly, “Sit here and I’ll get us both to somewhere we can get you a glass of water.” Lucy thought it over for a moment before she was jostled by a couple dancing rather suggestively behind her. Realizing it was safer to be with Natsu, she finally gave in and gently sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head against his shoulder.His familiar warmth rolled off him in spades, so much more than when she was simply sitting beside him. The feeling sunk into her and before she knew it, they were coming to a stop somewhere near the club’s back wall.

A plastic cup of water magically appeared before her. “Go ahead and drink this,” he instructed, moving the cup closer to her. “It’ll help, trust me.”

Lucy reached out and gulped down half the glass as if she had been stranded in the desert. “Thank you for taking care of me,” Lucy breathed once she handed back the cup. “You really didn’t have to.” Before she could catch herself, she lowered her head back to Natsu’s shoulder and looked up at him. “I owe you one.”

Natsu chuckled, his laughter reverberating through his chest. He visibly tensed for a moment before reaching up to brush a few stray strands away from her flushed face. “What are roommates for?” he replied, staring down at Lucy for a brief moment. “What made you run away from your friends anyway?”

“Some guy came up to me and started touching my hair,” she answered honestly. “He was standing with you and your friends. The tall, blonde, douchebag-looking one.”

The Marine laughed heartily beneath her. “Sting is a douche,” he said with a signature grin. “But how did you know he was my friend? Were you spying on me?”

It was Lucy’s turn to laugh. “You wouldn’t have known I ran away unless you were spying on me,” she answered between whiskey giggles. It was true. Natsu wouldn’t have known anything if he hadn’t looked over at her, and he had to have known she was there either before or after she noticed him.

She could have sworn she saw a blush coming over Natsu’s cheeks. “How could I not notice you, Luce? I always notice you.”

The drunken girl picked her head up from her best friend’s shoulder and locked her deep brown eyes on his emerald ones. Her entire body felt like she was on a roller coaster, stomach in her throat, heart desperately trying to escape her chest. She found herself leaning closer to Natsu, closing the gap, only for someone to tap on her shoulder.

“Fucking finally!” Cana shouted, a redheaded man hanging off her arm. “We’ve all been looking for you guys everywhere. Lucy, Juvia says it’s time to go.” Giving Natsu a sideways look, the brunette chuckled. “You can play with Natsu later.”

The rest of the group eventually joined them and they were soon on their way out of Fairy Tail, the two groups mingling until they arrived at the street side. The redhead, named Loke, went with Cana back to her place. Levy left alone while the three extra Marines took off together, leaving Natsu, Sergeant Fullbuster, Lucy, and Juvia.

“Get home safe, ladies,” the raven-haired Marine said firmly. “Lucy, text Natsu when you get back to your place, okay?”

Lucy nodded before she bent down to hug Natsu goodbye, lingering a bit longer than average. “Thanks again, Roomie,” she teased, pulling away after realizing their extended embrace.

And the two girls immediately took off for Lucy’s, for both sleep and some much-needed gossip.