#just realized i got left on delivered wtf

[whyamipasta]

last post before i disappear for 72 hours ,,,

i keep making these 😭😭 they’re just so fun

while cal is in the schools band (or i presume), it was never stated that he was in marching band, but in my head he is bc that just makes sense,,, maybe he’s in pit,, that would be cool (cal headcanon ??)

i tried to make the faces match as well as possible lolzies

anywya you gotta laugh or else i have to live in the same universe where nettspend makes music and that sounds like hell

[dnd-writes]

Looking Up

AO3

Tags: toy!Haseul, master!reader, sexual slavery, public humiliation, masturbation, master/slave, dom/sub, slapping, impact play, humiliation, dacryphilia, degradation, name calling, self degradation, begging, punishment, dub-con?, rough oral sex, deepthroat, choking, gagging, breath play, fear play, biting, floor cleaning, painal, hair pulling, more slapping, emotion play, somewhat/barely edited

Warning: Well, the tags speak for themselves. Lots of generally degrading things plus a bunch of stuff that isn't usually seen in fics (or at least I don't usually see). Also gets a little more harsh/violent than what most people would probably be used to so... yeah, just full of degeneracy so uhh... enjoy!

A/N: Longest fic I've written amounting to just a little above 6k words wtf I didn't even notice (at first, until I started adding random stuff to meet the mark). Honestly I had a vision for this fic in mind which kinda got lost as I made it so if it feels a little over the place or if it bounces from this to that and that to this then I apologize. Also, while writing this, I was also writing the sequel fic somewhat alongside it. I'm not gonna go to detail about it to avoid spoilers but at the end I'll put a poll regarding the sequel so when you're done with this or you wanna skip right to the end then don't forget to vote, thank you!

Being a leader of a group can be tiring enough, what more when there are 12 total members? Everyone in the group looks up to Haseul, she’s so caring and loving, she’s almost like the mother in the group. Always taking care of her members, always comforting them, always being there for them, it can get tiring for her sometimes but the way everyone looks so happy and content is enough of a reward for the struggles she faces having to deal with her 11 girls. They love her and she loves them back.

However, sometimes Haseul wants something else, needs something else, something totally the opposite of her current position in the group. She needs someone to look up to, someone to be her leader, someone to hold her. Haseul found it impossible to ask her groupmates about this problem, she just couldn’t bring herself to talk to them about it, every time she thought she was ready to speak no words came out of her mouth. It wasn’t just embarrassment or fear, there was something in her holding herself back from reaching out, something within her preventing her from telling even the closest people in her life about such a deeply disturbing problem that’s affecting her.

That’s when she realized that even if she told anyone about it, even her closest friends and family, there was nothing they could do to appease that inner desire of hers. That’s when she realized that she needs a complete stranger to fulfill her darkest needs, someone who wouldn’t judge such a need that she has, someone who wouldn’t hesitate to deliver through with her requests. That’s when she realized that it’s more than just having a leader, more than just having someone to look up to, more than just an external force. That’s when she realized that her needs reach far deeper than she thought, not just her mind or her heart but rather her whole body needs it. That’s when she realized she doesn’t need a leader, she needs an owner. She doesn’t need someone to look up to, she needs to look up at someone. She doesn’t want to be someone important, she wants to be nobody. She doesn’t want to comfort, she wants to be hurt. 

= = = = =

“What’s taking you so long?” You can see on Haseul’s face that she’s tired from whatever it is she did prior to calling you, she puts on a dainty smile but it’s wiped away so quickly with how stern you sound. A nervous chuckle escaped her lips before finally answering, “Uhhh… I left a little late—” Haseul pulls the microphone on her earbuds closer to her mouth “—Master.” A whisper so faint even you could barely hear it but you didn’t press her to say it louder, public humiliation wasn’t on your agenda today, you have something else in store for Haseul when she finally reaches you, especially after having to make you wait for so long.

“Didn’t I tell you to be here at 4 sharp?” Your tone is gradually rising as you speak and you just see Haseul on your screen sink deeper into her seat out of humiliation.

“But we had—” “No ‘buts’ what did I tell you? I don’t care what you’re doing or where you’re at, if I set a time, you should be here at that time. Maybe I should just call s—”

“NO!” Haseul covers her mouth as she reactively opposes you. Her expression quickly changes to one of panic, both from screaming inside a tiny car and from even daring to go against your wishes. She quickly apologizes to the driver then bows her body as much as she can to apologize to you. “I-I mean… do whatever you want, Master. I am sorry.”

If there’s one thing to describe Haseul it’s determination and she wants nothing more in the world than to have your gaze to be solely on her, just the mere thought or mention of any of your other toys makes her desperate to the point where she goes against everything else, goes against her “code” just to keep you to herself.

You check your list of schedules and it seems like Haseul is the only one available for at least two more hours, so even if you wanted to give her emotional pain, the best you could really do is bluff. Not that it would matter to Haseul, she will believe any word you will say—the real problem is with your needs, without Haseul or any other toy, you’ll be left alone and sexually frustrated.. “Fine.” Just one word is enough to make Haseul bounce joyfully in her seat then immediately after she puts a serious face on, ready to follow any order you give her even from inside a taxi.

You didn’t really intend on doing it but given that you don’t have any other toys to play with at the moment, it will have to do. “What are you wearing?” you ask and Haseul simply extends her arm and angled the phone at her body, from seeing a view of just her face to everything but. A black camisole and jean shorts, a very typical outfit for her. Nothing too special about it aside from lots of skin and slight curvature of her chest along her tight top.

“Take it all off, play with yourself.” Although she’s in a stranger’s car, Haseul doesn’t hesitate to follow orders. You see her unbutton her shorts then not-so-elegantly shimmy them past her hips, it is a struggle enough having to remove them with her ass in the way but using only one hand while seated in a car makes it even harder. This isn’t the graceful strip tease Haseul hoped it would be, her smile weakens and you can just see the panic slowly start to build up within her. You’re simply watching her and yet the prospect of disappointing you acts like surveillance on her entire being. 

Haseul forgoes visual for speed but ends up grunting just a little too loudly, she freezes for a split second, looking over to the front before resuming her poor attempt at an elegant show. After a tedious couple of seconds, Haseul finally manages to get her shorts past her hips and it smoothly sails down her legs and onto the floor. What’s left behind is her shaved pussy, wet and ready for any debauchery you plan to bring upon her.

She lowers herself in her seat, trying to conceal herself as much as possible from the driver and potentially from other cars who might just peer through the window. As opposed to her shorts, her top and bra lift over her chest with ease, revealing her full round breasts to you—above her mounds you can see faded black ink spelling out the word “SLAVE” just beneath her bunched up clothing, still not fully erased from yesterday’s session. 

Haseul spreads her legs as much as she can then sticks her ring and middle into her snatch. She chooses not to go fast so as to not alert the driver of how she’s defiling his vehicle but you have other plans. “Cum for me, Haseul. Before you get here I want you to cum in that seat.” Haseul’s eyes widen from nervousness, this is the most humiliating thing you’ve asked her to do ever since you strolled her around naked in the middle of the night but her calling to serve and obey you stands above all and not a second later her eyes glitter with resolve. 

Haseul ups her pace while trying to be discreet as possible, with one hand holding the phone and the other busy with her pussy, best she can do to not be noticed is to bite her lips down and hope the car is loud enough to drown the wet sounds emanating from fingering herself.

If traffic is how it usually is like other days then that means Haseul only has a few minutes to complete her task so you sit back and wait to see how Haseul approaches this. What makes this even funner is seeing the struggle on Haseul’s face as she tries to get herself off in subpar conditions—only slightly comfortable, not able to moan, not having her tits played with, and not having your cock in her makes it so hard for her but Haseul’s determination keeps her going, that and the fact that she doesn’t want to upset you.

By the second it’s getting harder for Haseul to maintain herself, her lips start to part every now and then, sometimes she catches herself mid-moan and bites down on her lips to quiet herself, other times they slip right past and cause such lewd sounds to fill the dead air. You smile seeing your toy so obedient and Haseul flashes a quick smile in return of your approval of her. Your smile seems to trigger something else in her as you see her chest start to heave faster and her fingers to pump harder, your effect on her is huge even if all you did was curl your lips upward.

She adds her index to the mix and by now she’s slowly starting to lose herself to the heat of the moment. Her eyes slowly start to close and her mouth stays wide open. You can even start to hear her fingers pistoning in and out of her pussy together with lewd squelching, her moans start to get louder too as she slowly forgets about the situation she’s in. You wonder what’s going on in that head of hers but you decide not to disturb her lest you break her concentration. 

Total ignorance of her surroundings as Haseul treats her digits like a cock wanting to cum deep inside of her, her pussy leaks so much that it coats her hand and the seat in her own juices, her moans turn to shouts of passion as her hips grind against her hand. You notice Haseul starting to arch her back and her legs closing around her fingers, she’s close and you both know it. Maybe she will be able to do something that pleases you for once today.

That is, until the car comes to a complete stop. You look out of your window and there you see the taxi and you can kinda see Haseul still going at it inside. It’s only when the driver clears his throat that she notices she’s at her destination “Ma’am… ummm, we’re here.” Haseul’s eyes go completely wide as she looks forward at the driver’s seat but the shock of finding out that the driver sees her in such a state doesn’t compare to when she looks at her phone to see your blank stare. You let out a sigh and shake your head. “Just pay him well for his troubles. Leave your clothes there, I’ll meet you inside.” Your deadpan delivery is like a knife through her heart, you can see Haseul on the verge of tears just by talking to her like that. 

Haseul takes out two yellow bills from her wallet and hands them to the driver using her clean hand. “K-Keep the change,” she says as she bows profusely before exiting the taxi. You see Haseul step out of the vehicle in full nude, the neighborhood isn’t that packed with houses spaced far enough apart from each other but hopefully a neighbor or two gets a nice show of a busty woman running up to your house.

Haseul tries to greet you with a warm smile but the disappointment on your face makes her want to ball up in shame. You take her bag and throw it across the room, Haseul’s face is full of fear, not from the potential damage to her belongings but with how you stare her down. You grab her by the neck and pin her against the wall, Haseul immediately starts to choke and her hands involuntarily rise to meet yours but make no attempt to pull you off of her.

“I told you to be here by 5, not 5:30 but 5.” Your free hand rises and comes crashing down straight onto Haseul’s cheek immediately leaving a bright red mark on it. “Master, we—” The back of your hand meets her other cheek, for you it stings a little as you make contact but you’re sure Haseul gets the worse end. “Excuses, excuses, excuses. Don’t you bullshit me with any of that.”

“What’s this?” You point at the word still tattooed to her chest “Can’t even clean yourself properly?” Another offense, another slap. “And you can’t even cum when I ask you to, you’ve disappointed me thrice today, before even setting foot in my place. Three times, Haseul, just be thankful no one else is around or else I would have sent you away by now.” Another backhand strikes Haseul and tears start to stream down her face. “If you ever disappoint me again today, I’m calling someone else in. I’m gonna tie you up and make you watch as I fuck someone else and call them my favorite toy.”

You let go of Haseul and she crumbles into a sobbing mess on the floor, she kneels and holds onto your legs, crying and begging. “I’m sorry, Master. I-I’ll do anything, be anything. Treat me like a whore, use me how you see fit.” It’s such an empowering feeling having such a respected woman like Haseul be on her knees with her ass hanging higher than her own head and completely belittling herself for your own pleasure.

Haseul stays put, not moving an inch from her position if not told to. You bend down and caress her ass, your hand travels down along her spine and meets her head where you grab a handful of her long black hair and tug her upright. Haseul’s face is such a mess, one side is reddened while the other is slightly bruised.

You pull your pants down and bring your cock out. Before Haseul can even ready herself, you’re already pushing yourself past her lips, showing no remorse as you completely sheathe yourself in her mouth. Haseul chokes and gags repeatedly, spewing spit out of the corners of her lips faster than tears can come out of her eyes.

You grip the sides of Haseul’s head and repeatedly slam her face against your pelvis, she coughs every time you hilt and it’s just one of the most pleasant sounds you’ve heard all day. You don’t stop to even consider her well-being, not even giving her a chance to adjust herself or at least prepare, sometimes you even forget that the thing you’re using is less of a thing and more of a living breathing human-being.

Haseul keeps eye contact with you, through the pain, through the tears, her stare says a lot. Her stare tells you to keep going, to not stop, to give her the punishment she deserves. 

There’s no love, no care, no sympathy, no passion that goes into every shove you make against the back of her head. It’s all just anger and lust powering your hands and hips, just all the stress and sexual aggression expressed with the way you make Haseul take your entire length inside of her mouth. However, it’s not enough, you need more, Haseul needs more. Simply using her head like your own personal fleshlight isn’t enough, not degrading enough, not dehumanizing enough. This isn’t even entirely a punishment, it’s just one of Haseul’s many duties as a toy dialed up to an 11.

You pinch her nose closed and Haseul’s teary eyes begin to resonate with fear once more. Instantly you begin to feel her throat tighten as she struggles to breathe through her mouth. She tries to breathe in some air when your cock has mostly gone out of the way but then you just thrust in again while Haseul is inhaling and she chokes more intensely than before. You didn’t think her mouth could have been any better but here you are now, enjoying the best blowjob you’ve had in a while from someone nearly about to pass out.

Haseul lightly taps on your leg to give some warning but rather than slow down you just speed up, giving her less room to get oxygen. You begin to feel the rise of an overpowering sensation but at the same time you start to see Haseul’s eyes slowly closing. You quickly pull out and Haseul heavily gasps for air, mouthing a silent “Thank you” as she looks at you with grateful eyes. 

After a few huffs you thrust back inside while Haseul’s in the middle of taking in some air. She chokes uncontrollably and it only serves as intense pleasure for you as her throat constricts you harder than any other body part of hers could manage. You pinch her nose again while keeping your other hand firmly on the back of her head. You start to thrust your hips in time with each slam of her head, ridding whatever sense of care you have left for her. With the added pressure around your girth it didn’t take long for you to start erupting inside Haseul, the first few bursts went straight down but you made sure that the rest pools up on her tongue. 

You pull yourself out and Haseul collapses again, this time on her side. She holds her neck as she coughs wildly, spilling a lot of spit and cum in front of her. After, she lays quietly on her side, mouth open, drool dripping, making an absolute mess on your pristine floor. You grab Haseul’s bag and rummage through her belongings to find her phone then you start taking pics of her pathetically lying on the ground. “Aww, look at you, so pretty down there.” You then get close to her face and take close-up shots of her disheveled face with all the different liquids covering it. “This one looks perfect,” you say as you change her wallpaper to one of the pictures you’ve taken, replacing the one from the previous session which was her mouth full of piss. You take a few more pictures of Haseul from different angles before putting her phone aside.

Finally done with your fun, you nudge Haseul with your foot, “Get up, clean your mess.” However, Haseul doesn’t budge so you tap her with your foot again, “I said clean your mess, don’t make me ask a third time.” You can tell that she’s listening to you with the way she tries to move her body but fails to find the strength to move. Growing impatient, you take matters into your own hands. You roll her over on her stomach and press her face against the cold tile, immediately you can hear her mouth sucking away at the spill she has created. 

As you leave Haseul to work like a makeshift vacuum, you kneel and turn your attention to hear rear, raised high up to be presented just for you. Her legs shimmer under the light, covered in a fresh coat of her own juices, you glance and confirm a wet stain on your floor where she once knelt. You slide two fingers across her slit and gather up her nectar. You give it a little lick then give an unamused sigh, it’s still that same salty taste with a bit of sweetness. Not nearly as delicious as any of the others you have tasted, maybe you should start controlling her diet too, you make a mental note for yourself for the future

“You haven’t came yet, right Haseul?” you ask as you stick the same two fingers inside her cunt, Haseul squirms at the sudden invasion of her entrance. “N-No, Master,” she momentarily stops cleaning the floor to answer, there’s a hint of hope in her voice, perhaps longing to finally climax ever since her escapade in the taxi. But you have no plans for that, instead you push her head back down, “Keep it that way. Since your pussy has disappointed me already today, I think I’ll use your ass. If you cum before I do, well let’s just say I won’t be happy about it.” You give her a spank as you chuckle, a sick and twisted game for you to enjoy and for her to suffer through. Haseul’s body tenses up and her rim puckers as you mention the last line, she was close to release prior to her arrival so keeping it in for longer would be a pain. “Yes, Master, I will.” The pain and sadness is evident in her voice, trying her best to keep it together.

You line yourself up and instantly push through into her sphincter, the two of you groan out loud as it proves harder to penetrate Haseul’s ass this time around. You can feel Haseul tightening herself up, creating a grip so strong it rivals that of her air-deprived throat. Continue to push, dig your fingers into her flesh as you pull her hips towards you. Grunt as every inch gets slowly devoured by her ass, slowly but surely you make your way deeper and deeper until you feel her skin touch with yours. It feels tighter than her mouth but that’s all it’s got going for it, doesn’t have the choking sensation of her throat, the wet and rough feeling of her tongue, or the warm embrace of her lips. If you could fuck her face the way you did earlier all the time then you would do it but what you want is to harm her, not impair her.

You keep yourself still and bask in the effort of Haseul squeezing herself around you but other than that, there’s nothing else except for the sounds of heavy breathing. You tug on Haseul’s hair and lift her up, on the floor remains some of the mess she had made prior but regardless it remains. You pull her so that your mouth can reach her ear then you whisper, “Didn’t I tell you to clean that up already?” You lick the back of her ear then bite on it, Haseul shouts in pain, if you bit any stronger you probably would have made it bleed. “Y-Yes, Master. I’m sorry, I will do my job,” she says frantically. You slowly lower her but halfway down you let go and let her fall, Haseul barely catches herself just in time to not faceplant on the ground.

As she starts lapping the floor up like a thirsty dog, you feel her ass unclench every now and then. It seems like having her focus split between a degrading task and a mind-numbing condition is too much for her to handle all at once. 

You begin to slide out slowly, then back in, then out, then in. Finding a relaxed pace to start with, you aren’t entirely cynical, you want to see Haseul succeed in at least one task you’ve assigned her. You continue to pace your cock in and out of her ass while listening to a cycle of moans, heavy breaths, and sucks coming from way below you.

Sing a tune in your head, gauge the passing seconds. Count the time in your head but without a clock you couldn’t really be truly sure, has it been a minute? Maybe two? Three? Did you sing too fast? Too slow? Regardless you start counting down from sixty, mentally giving Haseul one last minute to see if she can do it. You’re rooting for her, really, it’s a little sad seeing Haseul fail so many things in so little time, it’s unlike her. As much as she voices out how much she deserves punishment, she much prefers serving and obeying every command and order you give her.

“Five… four… three… two… one…” Time is up for your human mop. You pull out completely then tug her hair back forcefully. You look over her shoulder to assess the floor, you’re happy to see that it’s clean—but as you look closely, you see just a few drops of white still staining the ground. Haseul gasps as she notices it too, you turn to her and she breaks down crying. “I-I’m sorry, Master, I failed you. I don’t mean to disappoint you like this, p-punish me, hurt me… I-I deserve this for being so useless.”

You smile as you hear the sweet and delicate words escape Haseul’s lips, it really is an invigorating feeling, having all this power over someone, having so much influence over her that even simple changes in your expression can make or break her.

You let go of Haseul and stand. Unprompted, she turns around and kneels by your feet, a predicament she’s found herself countless times in the past that she no longer needs to be told what to do. She keeps her hands on her lap, her eyes closed, and her face pointing up at you. 

You had a different plan in mind for her but this alternative would suffice, you wouldn’t turn down such an offer especially when it’s presenting itself like that, only a madman would pass up such an opportunity. And besides, nothing wrong with giving a little something extra. After all, it wouldn’t hurt anyone—well, anyone besides Haseul.

You cup the side of Haseul's face, soft and delicate to the touch, pristine skin ruined by hints of abuse made by you and you’re only going to make it look worse. It’s a shame really, a pretty and elegant face like hers reduced to an outlet of anger and disappointment. But you couldn’t really care less, in fact it uplifts you to see such beauty defiled and you take immense pleasure being the sole cause of it.

Haseul’s breath begins to hitch, the anticipation getting the best of her, a torture in and of itself. She’s not used to this, having your hand be this close to her face without even as much as a sting let alone having it be touched so gently. You can’t help yourself, normally she’s a crying and begging mess by now but that extra second of staring at her makes you pause in your tracks. You feel your heart skip a beat as both your hands move to touch her face, brushing her cheeks, fixing stray hairs, wiping away spit and sweat. Haseul opens her eyes, staring back with a mixture of hesitation and awe. 

“Master—” Inquisitive and confused, Haseul looks at you like you’re a complete stranger “—please, punish me.” Her words bring you out of your daydream, slightly tearing something within you in the process, a part of you that you never knew existed in the first place. Haseul doesn’t want love or affection, she’s here to atone for her sins, to serve her master, to look up to someone much higher than her. For a second you lost track of that, for a second you saw her in a different light, saw yourself in a different light. But no, that’s not what you’re here for nor is it what she’s here for. 

You shrug off all unwanted feelings and focus back on the matter at hand. Though you hesitate, your brief moment of longing strikes weakness in you. Haseul begs with her eyes as she kneels on the ground, awaiting the punishment that you’re becoming too scared to give. Haseul takes your hand and puts it on her cheek. “Master, please.” You close your eyes as you wind your arm back, channeling your energy as you take a swing at Haseul’s face. Your hand connects and the slap echoes in the vicinity, you open your eyes to see Haseul with a bright red mark on her, crying silent tears as she continues to present her face. A part of you dies but another feels alive, the surge of adrenaline rushing through your body as you savor the sight beneath you. You take your arm back again, this time without hesitation, and deliver another slap right in the same spot, Haseul’s cheek glowing red from the harsh treatment.

You turn her around and kneel behind her, quickly resuming your position earlier—a hand gripping the roots of her long hair and another at her side. You put Haseul’s arms behind her back then outstretch your arm so that she’s right above the spot she missed on the floor, a constant reminder of her failure just staring her in the face. You line yourself back up to her rear entrance, “Remember, don’t cum before I do.” Haseul frantically nods her head as best she could, even before you finished your sentence, wanting to just get it out of the way and straight to the action.

The remainder of Haseul’s spit that coated your cock has long dried out by now, but that’s not really a problem for you to deal with. 

You spread one of her cheeks as much as you can to see the ever familiar hole looking at you and to make it easier for the both of you. Her rim already looks a little sore and red, you plan to make that better. Again, the initial push has some troubles as Haseul clenches herself, this time however, you aren’t going to go that easy on her. 

You push inside slow and steady but once the head has fully disappeared, you ram the rest of your length inside of her ass. The dry friction of her anal walls makes you groan but that doesn’t compare to what Haseul is feeling. Her scream almost splits your ears as you plunge your entirety within her. Her whole body tenses up from how sudden it was, you give her half a second to adjust before pulling out just enough then ramming back in. Out and in, out and in, out and in, only this time you’re going much harsher, much harder, much faster. Reducing Haseul to mere grunts and moans as her dry entrance greedily hugs you. 

Only after a while does Haseul find her voice again. “It hurts! Y-Yes, yes, yes, fuck! Harder… harder, Master. Make it hurt more. Punish me like the bitch that I am!” The words just flow naturally out of her, profanities, moans, and whatever other degrading name just spew out of her mouth like it’s nothing. Haseul is truly in her element—pain and punishment, nowhere else have you seen her with such drive and energy. 

You do as requested, digging your digits into her side as you pound her hard. However, you find your grip rather unsatisfactory, with one hand holding her head up, having just one on her hip isn’t doing the job you want it to do. You adjust higher and higher on her body until your hand is pulling down on her shoulder. Your nails dig into her skin and your hand grips the base of her hair with all your might, each earning their own screams of pleasing pain from Haseul. 

Haseul’s in her element, perhaps a little bit too much. You start to notice her letting loose and succumbing to the pain and pleasure. Her ass adjusts and unclenches while her body goes limp and surrenders its weight to your hands. You aren’t even close to cumming yourself, you can only imagine where this will end up. 

“I’m so close… Master, I’m so close, please…” In between moans, Haseul utters breathless warnings of her coming orgasm. You try to open your mouth but by then it’s too late, before even a single sound escapes from your lips, Haseul’s has made plenty. “FUCK! Oh, fuck! Master… I’m… ahhh—“ Her legs quiver and give way, leaving her entire weight to be held up through your two hands on her upper body. 

Another mess on your floor, another order disobeyed, another punishment waiting to be given. 

You pull out then pull Haseul by her hair towards you, forcing her to kneel down and face you head on. The sudden sharp pain pulls Haseul down from her high and the horror returns on her face. She slowly shakes her head as tears pour down once more, whispering between heavy breaths, “No… please… I’m sorry… Master, forgive me…”

“You can’t cum when I ask you to and then you cum when I tell you not to,” you say disappointedly, you send a quick text on your phone as you shake your head. “How many is that now, five? At least five times you couldn’t do what I told you to do? What happened, Haseul? You were doing just fine yesterday.” You simply sigh at Haseul who looks on with pure terror in her eyes opposing your rather blank stare. 

To you it’s all just a game, all just pleasure, but to Haseul it’s way beyond that—it’s worship, subservience, servitude. You couldn’t really care less who is kneeling down in front of you with the multitude of toys that you own but to Haseul, you’re her one and only, the only master she serves, the one she devotes herself to.

“Did you have a change of heart all of a sudden, are punishments the only thing you want now? Because that’s not that hard to give.” Your arm swings wide and your palm connects with her face, so strong it almost toppled her over. “See? It’s so simple. If that’s all you want then all you have to do is tell me, I don’t mind.” Your other arm mimics the same motion, equalizing the redness on Haseul’s cheeks.

Haseul just shakes her head, “N-No, Master. I… I wish to serve and follow you. But… punish me when I deserve it and right now I deserve to be punished, Master.” Haseul closes her eyes and braces herself for another hit which you gladly give, this one stronger than the previous, this one sending her falling to her side. Haseul catches herself then gets back to position, raising her head while on her knees, presenting her face to receive another slap.

Slap after slap befalls Haseul, her cheeks get redder and redder with some parts a deeper shade of red than her pale lips. You’ve lost count of how many slaps you have given by now but it’s gotten to the point where your palms start to sting. But no matter how many times you slap Haseul, no matter how many times she falls down, she remains relentless. Even with tears rolling down her face, Haseul doesn’t hesitate one bit to get back on her knees and present her face. That’s what you love about Haseul, the persistence she has even in the face of pain and disappointment, she keeps pushing through, all just to please you. But unfortunately for her, the amusement you have gotten from her tenacity doesn’t amount to the dissatisfaction she’s earned throughout the few hours you’ve been with her today.

You continue to release your pent up aggression through your palms connecting with her delicate cheeks but no matter how many you’ve given and how many you continue to give, it just isn’t enough. As much as you like to use Haseul as your outlet, the sheer amount of displeasure she’s given doesn’t make it as satisfying for you. No matter how strong or how often, it still never seems to be enough, it’s gotten to the point where the problem has outgrown its source.

You start to wind your arm back when your phone starts to ring. “I wonder who could that be,” you say rather rhetorically with a smirk on your face, the once lifeless and weak Haseul suddenly springs up as she hears the call incoming, dread and anxiety loom over her as the implication of your words mean anything but good news. “I’m sorry, Haseul, but today I’m just starting to doubt you. Thankfully there’s someone here who can help me fix that problem of yours.” You answer and on the screen pops up a very, very familiar face to the both of you.

A/N 2: poll - https://strawpoll.com/xVg7j76vrnr

[leota-nexus]

[SakuraBot Mode: ACTIVATED]

Crawling outta the rubble to post I think my first selfie on here? I actually exist! Or something!

I was trying on the bodysuit for a WIP cosplay, grabbed the skirt for a laugh, & completely stopped in my tracks because damn now that's a LOOK!! 💮🤖💖

...Alright I've been trying to edit this post down for a couple days because I don't want this to come off like an advertisement but I gotta be a heartfelt sap for a moment. It's my nature, can't help it. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️ Skirt review & personal ramblings under the cut:

Shoutout to @shopwitchvamp seriously. This skirt immediately replaced the cargo pants I've been living in the last few years. The fabric is so lovely & comfortable, the deep pockets are amazing, AND I can temperature-regulate in this crazy unpredictable weather!!! Hell yeah!

My partner got this skirt for me as a birthday gift because it reminds me of the digital sakuras in Night City that I keep using for virtual photoshoots but also in this Hot Topic Hello Kitty kinda way that just speaks to my millenial soul (🖤🎀🖤) I mean, obviously I'm in love with the design but the weight & texture & movement really made it an insta-fave in a very meaningful way for me.

And then I realized this is the first new piece of clothing I've owned since pre-pandemic. My body's changed so much that basically nothing fits. I had one pair of pants left that was at its limit and for years I've wore it like a uniform everytime I went outside with a baggy shirt to cover up. I got this skirt and suddenly I was styling outfits again, like wtf?!

So my partner & I realized how desperately our depressed neurodivergent asses needed:

new clothes that actually fit

with comfortable textures & fun patterns

that are actually functional & made to last

preferably from small businesses we respect

...And now we text each other about WV restocks lmao

The only problem is that because we couldn't afford anything from the Feb preorders, we figured we'd save up & see what came back in stock next month. Except it came in a month early. So LUCKILY we've already been saving up for this because now I'm waiting for my second skirt & partner's first joggers to be delivered today! And then they restocked more yesterday! And then they announced more restocks next week! Oof ouch our wallets but at least today's payday and now we actually have fun comfy clothes that fit to celebrate our 10 year anniversary together in a few months! 💕

Thank you, WitchVamp! We love you! Now if you'll excuse me I need to go sit by the front door like

"C'mon package... Maybe if I just... ~Booweeoop!~ No? Alright, check the tracking number..."

[doctorstrangereview]

0058: Strange Tales #163

Cover Date: December 1967 On-Sale Date: August 31, 1967

This is the last story of the next-to-last arc of Doc's adventures on Strange Tales. For such a universe shattering arc, the finale has a remarkably small cast and it all takes place on a single, if large, stage. These are interesting choices to wrap this up.

When we last left Doc, he was being confronted by Nebulos who is about to give him what for. Doc says look behind you. Oddly enough, this isn't an attempt at distraction, but The Living Tribunal is actually there!

Trib-y isn't there to deliver good news. "Yeah, Doc, you did what I asked, but it still kinda stinks around here so I'm gonna off Earth anyway."

Doc is very "WTF, man?! Tell me what's going on!" Trib-y refuses because Doc is basically dirt on his oddly shaped feet to Trib-y. Then Trib-y ponders about what could be causing this.

Even the tribunal calls this a riddle. Trib-y may be really, really powerful but not omniscient. Even he's got to thing this trough. It seems he may have figured it out.

Doc realizes that if Trib-y does away with Nebulos, nobody will know where Victoria Bentley is. Doc, of course, has the thought that he must rescue the girl he's met only once before for 10 minutes. Thus, he attacks Trib-y so he won't kill Nebulos until they wring that bit of information from the badly shaped villain.

Trib-y is incensed that this bit of mortal flotsam would dare attack him and sends the attack back at Doc. Nebulos uses the moment to attack Trib-y. As Trib-y and Nebulos go back and forth, Doc worries that they'll destroy each other and attempts to aid Trib-y while asking him to reason with his foe instead. Nebulos accuses Trib-y of needing help. This only further angers the cosmic being who takes a moment from his frantic battle to attack Doc!

This is a rather cinematic panel that, as far as I can tell, was not swiped by Adkins from another artist. Trib-y and Nebulos continue their skirmish. Nebulos is about to run away, but Trib-y basically says "No way, dude! This ends now! And since that big staff of yours absorbs everything thrown against it, I'm just gonna burn down this entire mother-freakin' planet!"

Nebulos protests, but Trib-y starts tearin' it down.

Trib-y's fire show causes Doc's bonds to weaken and he spends an entire page avoiding falling rocks. Then he gets a bit sexist as he tries to locate the battle.

This panel looks very Ditko, but I haven't located a source for it.

Doc finds them, and Trib-y tells Nebulos it's all going to poop and he needs to give Trib-y his big staff. Nebulos is like "Nah! I'm gonna cast a spell so big it's gonna eff EVERYTHING up!" But before he can, Doc swoops in and swipes the staff. Guess he likes the feeling of that big rod in his hands. Nebulos, bereft of his big staff is unable to cast his big spell and gets buried in the remains of the Planet(s) Perilous.

Doc confronts Trib-y who is impressed that Doc was able to do what he wasn't. Doc expresses his concern that with Nebulos out of the picture permanently, he's trapped in a pile of rubble and Vicky is trapped somewhere else that no one knows. Trib-y is like "I got your back, dude! I'm gonna send you to her. Of course, what waits for you there will make what you just endured like a trip to Disneyland. And I mean Disneyland before you needed an entire day to ride a single attraction." Yup! Doc is out of the frying pan and into the fire as he slides into home.

I think Lawrence has a propensity to take advantage of Adkins' habit of drawing large panels to stretch his stories. The battle between The Living Tribunal and Nebulos could have been more epic. And did Doc really need to spend and entire page dodging the crumbling mountain? The Tribunal's portrayal is a bit too human. He's rash and angry. As a cosmic force he shouldn't be quite so emotional. Nebulos shouldn't be as much of a challenge as he to The Tribunal. This shows that the power of cosmic beings hasn't grown to the absolutely ridiculous levels it will in the 90s and beyond. Again, this is a story I like, but could have included more or been consolidated down to fewer pages. Well, the final Strange Tales arc awaits.

[artikgato]

8/12/2023

Last night I had a dream that rather than doing anything to actually fix the traffic problem, like building better infrastructure, taking care of the old infrastructure, adding more public transit, better incentivizing carpooling and etc etc, some people just invented some bullshit new technology that made driving even worse. It was some kind of hard light that is impossible to pass through but that won't damage anyone or anything even if you drive into it at very high speeds, it just kind of slows and stops your car and won't let you pass through it. Ostensibly it was invented for things like ambulances, fire trucks, police, busses & etc, but of course it also got sold to rich assholes too.

But in my dream my brain decided to deliver this information to me in a very interesting way. In the dream I was stuck in traffic on The Road (my nemesis) because some rich douchebag used the hard light technology to completely stop traffic so that he and his mile-long entourage could basically have a parade. So what would normally be a 15 minute commute to work was estimated to take two hours because of the assholes, and when I called in to work to report that they told me to just get out of the car and walk. I then woke up at 5am to my alarm and in thinking back to the dream and going "WTF" I realized that dream me just had all of the information from the top paragraph in my head already.

Anyway, today I left the house right around 6:15, which I think might be the perfect time to start the jogwalk.

It was still dark enough for street lights to be on, but I could see just fine. According to the weather app it was 69 degrees out (nice) but it felt much hotter. And it was like 150% humidity, extremely foggy, and there was no wind. So needless to say there was a lot of sweat and it was uncomfortable, but the jogwalk was pretty good today otherwise! The first jogging section was like pulling teeth, but by the end of the jogwalk I'd gotten into it. I even upgraded one of the jogging sections to running speed because a particularly hype song came on and I felt like it.

My time is off by a couple of minutes because a Galarian Moltres spawned and I stopped to try to catch it. Of course I did not, but oh well. One day, probably. Nothing else exciting to report in the world of PoGo. The mushroom cluster has expanded though! There are mushrooms on both sides of the sidewalk now. I think it was just too hot for the original mushroom "village" because most of them, even the ones that weren't uprooted, were brown and gross looking, but all of the new ones were still white. I actually spotted a lot of mushrooms along the route today. At least something is enjoying this humidity.

I unfortunately have work today, so we'll see if I can pry myself out of bed and do this again tomorrow, or if this was just a six day experiment. They say you have to do a thing for 66 days before it becomes a habit so... I'm 1/10th of the way there? Hooray?

Word count: 560 Weather: 69, foggy Humidity: 150% Time: 24:17 Song of the Day: In The Hall of the Mountain King, covered by The Offspring

[princess-of-the-corner]

Hearth Struck

So, as I said before, it all starts because Marinette finds out that Marc likes Nathaniel. Which comes in handy considering her secrets.

So with Adrien's help they basically kidnap and try to help Marc confess by coming up with some plans.

As that happens, we have the stuff left behind by Marc and the arrows that Ivan mistakes and has the archery club shoot. The chaos begins.

On the one hand we have strange-strange things, like Baba Yaga - Tomoe and Gabriel Agreste being shot with arrows.

on the other the 'wtf' with Zoe chasing Chloe (which will be a fun conversation later)

And finally, 'What' where someone with a partner ends up having a crush on another, in the case of Alya who ends up having a crush on Max and Nino is just confused and sad, at least until Marc realizes what is happening and tells him that will fix it.

Bonus of the episode because while they gather everyone they find one of the secret couples, I haven't really thought much about who they could be but it doesn't matter because before they can say anything "Oh, which one of you got the arrow? Never mind Marc going to fix everything" and at least they have an excuse.

Then there is the moment where Marc creates and delivers the white flowers of emotions so that the true feelings are revealed (yellow is friendship, red is love, pink is true love/destined and, this is the moment where I say goodbye canon, orange it's for the family)

We have Rose handing a flower to a crushed Juleka, who is saved by Luka and prevents everyone (including Juleka herself) from seeing the pink color of the flower until she passes by.

We have Chloe trying to hide the orange flower from Zoe (which just creates a feeling that they are hiding something and everyone assumes that they are in fact a secret couple)

There is a moment of Sabrina giving Alix a flower that turns orange and no one is sure if it is because they are both Wonderlands and they love each other as family or that in fact, the mad hatter and the rabbit have history together...

And the chapter culminates after everyone leaves with Marc finally getting up his courage and going over to Nathaniel to show him his red flower. And Nathaniel turning into a toad for the blush and embarrassment and because he's a mess and oh my god they're both messes together <3

Wild!

[serenarooking]

Ok, I just woke from the weirdest dream.

***TW***

I was in this house with these people who were my friends, they were sitting in waiting room chairs watching a movie on an analog TV. I floated down a hallway into a room where all my things from this life had been haphazardly been tossed. Something, something alive but something I couldn't see came inside me (like a possession?) My feet pulled back toward the ceiling as if magnetized, my head lower towards the floor, and I floated toward the closet door. I opened it and there was a mirror behind a metal tub of water with the stuffed Hambo I made in real life at the bottom(Marceline's stuffy from Adventure Time)I saw myself and made this big smile (yeah I was definitely not myself) and my dark eyes were wide....skipping this part in the closet, i leave with a weapon. It's 4d. Like a sword but 4d. It's got a weird sphere 'round it like a halo. I come to this chick who's sitting w her friends, they don't stand but she's got a weapon and is waiting for me, but hers is a normal 3d dagger. I feel myself doing that creepy smile. I spin my weapon round hers and say something like, I've been waiting for you, Isabella... she's not taken her eyes from me. Says she won't give them her baby. The midwife is going to deliver it today. I tell her if she doesn't, the midwife will deliver the baby and eat it, you know she will (for some reason I need her to give her baby for my baby in utero's sake and I know this???) Suddenly I wake in the dream and I'm like, no, I'm not doing this, peace out and I start to leave (I realize now the weapon must've vanished when I woke in dream bc I have no recollection of dropping it) but as I am heading to the doorway I came thru, i notice a staircase on my left right next to the door way i didnt see on the way in bc of my angle and my tunnel vision on the woman. These kids, maybe five years old, maybe five or six of them, are walking down the stairs. The boy in the front, he's got a hat on, (they're dressed like it's Italy from like the fifties) says, still at the top of the staircase as I'm still heading toward the doorway out,

"she said, 'a dreamer has come this day to save her,' Isabella!!"

Then I woke up.

Wtf???

[ghost-wysteria]

Can you do if yn just came in their house just saying nothing and ingoring them and just going straight to their bed and sleeping 😴 ☠️

I love this and i had way to much fun with this, also im going to make this where the reader gets extremely sleepy for no actual reason(lmao me with an iron deficiency),(also modern au ig)

Coming into their house and saying nothing and lying on their beds

Vance: you had a long day at school and just wanted to lay down, but you got locked out of your house, so your next location was vance hoppers house, you forgot to knock on the door and just let yourself in, you went straight to his room where he was in the bathroom, you just flopped down on his bed, sighing aggressively, he came out ready to attack someone breaking in, only to find you, on his bed. "y/n what the fuck are you doing here? y/n? are you dead?" Come to find out, you had already passed tf out.

♡

Billy: you wanted to see your boyfriend and you were extremely tired, you had slept plenty but that didnt matter, billy had invited you over to his house that day, but you were supposed to show up in a few hours, not at 6 am on a Saturday, billy was out delivering newspapers and he left his door unlocked, so you just walked right in, his parents were off at work already, about 30-45 minutes later, he came back home, after he put his shoes away and put the dog inside the fence, he walked up the stairs and went into his room, only to find you, dead asleep on his bed, sprawled out like a starfish(me), he sighed and carefully moved your limbs into a more, usual position, and covered you with his blanket and kissed your cheek.

♡

Finney: you both had just gotten home from baseball practice, after sitting at home for a good ten minutes you got bored of your house and decided to go over to Finney's, you knocked on the door and gwen opened it. "Hes in the shower, but come in" so you came in and went to his room, you sat on his bed, and you did intend to wait for him, you did. But you got really sleepy and decided to just "rest your eyes" when Finney came out he was shocked to see you to say the least, he didnt expect you over already, so he woke you up. "Come on y/n get up."

♡

Robin: you remembered that you and Robin were supposed to do homework together, so you slipped on your shoes, stopped by the grabNgo, walked your silly little ass over to robins house and knocked on the door, his uncle answered. "robins in his room" "thank you sir" you smiled and walked to robins room, robin was on his game and didnt hear you, you were already tired before you even left your house, and as you walked in you realized that, you and robin weren't supposed to do homework today, you were supposed to do it tomorrow, so you ultimately decided to just flop down on his bed, not even kicking off your shoes, as robin just watched you in confusion, you were out like a light.

♡

Bruce: you decided you didnt want to go home today, you didnt feel like it, besides, Bruce's bed was the best place to sleep, so, you turned left, away from your house and onto the street bruce lived on, you knew his parents wouldn't let him hang out with anyone on a weekday, he has to study, so you climbed through his window, his was at his desk doing his homework, and you just waltz over to his bed, took off your shoes and your flannel, and cuddled up underneath the blankets, bruce heard rustling and turned around, he saw you in his bed, cuddling up with his stuffed animals. "y/n wtf your not supposed to be here!" He whisper-shouted at you, while you just ignored him and fell asleep.

<333

Hope you enjoyed :D

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 7 Passion

(Spoilers below)

-Alya is sus of this Marinette suddenly simping over chat noir

-Marinette explains the logic (but it’s ACTUALLY THIRST)

-“Uh, he’s in love with ladybug…” “Same thing” “But he doesn’t know that and you can’t tell”

-Alya tired of this lol. Give this girl a medal

-Okay so I’m gonna say this, Alya is a good friend, I would not be coherent and hearing out my friend before 8 am.

- And she left with her PJ’s (I enjoy this Alyanette)

-GOOD GRAVY THE THIRST ON THESE TEENS!

-Adrien waking up thinking about Marinette.

- Adrien really having a simp morning routine is beautiful

-Plagg really like “Stop this simping” but it ain’t working

-okay who the f*** is this white tampon? Talking like he is cooking Adrien breakfast on the daily?

-Nathalie is worried.

-Nathalie calling Gabriel out on not knowing his son, yet Gabriel acting all chummy. It’s so weird!

-Nathalie really just full of fire today and I love it.

-Adrien too busy simping Marinette to notice.

-Adrien sees the ring and thinks they are a couple.

-Nathalie is like every Adrien stan on this site “I’m only doing this for Adrien”

-I just realized, Adrien thinks he is starting to have a family. Baby boy

-And ARM BAR!

POG

- Nathalie giving Gabe that verbal ass whooping was beautiful. But then Gabe shows he got cataclysmed and was dying.

-damn that’s some emotional blackmail. Well played tampon man.

-“I should get Marinette a ring!” “You gonna propose?” The funny thing is… if this was like a season ago. He could have done that and she would have said yes.

- “poems are for cheese” Plagg is best character

-There is 0 straight answer for Nathalie saying Emilie’s name

-“My dear Nathalie “ Emile says it better

-Adrien my sweet sunshine. You are precious and just reinforcing why Nathalie is going to commit war crimes

-Wait was Nathalie Indiana Jones with Gabriel!?

- Oh! I get it now. Nathalie and Gabriel were both in love with Emilie

-So Nathalie is basically saying I will get akumatized to deliver the promise (both Gabe and Nathalie lying to the other. Good stuff)

-Welp, Marinette still isn’t over Adrien. She still mumbles and fumbles. So good news there. It’s not a reversal.

-And Adrien goes from simping to sad thinking about what’s going on with Nathalie.

-Marinette being a good person

-and from sad to simping again. Adrien has two emotions XD

-And Marinette really be like “No one told me what to do once sempai noticed me!”

-Plagg suddenly cares that s*** is going wrong? I’m sus of this. (Plagg meeting Tikki to talk is cute tho)

-Tikki really be like “don’t worry my holder is a mess”

-Damn Tikki! She really letting Marinette out to dry like that!

-Ooo her akuma name is safari! And she is going to use her old outfit.

-okay THAT WAS A COOL ASS AKUMATIZATION

-Also Safari is a baddie

-OH NO! She has the Goat! She can make all her gear!

-SIX POWERS!!? WTF OP!!!

-oh damn, the hunt is on!!!

-Chloe is hilarious.

-Marinette, Your simping is showing

-OOOOH Now I get it

-LADYBUG NO! Your simping will doom us all!

-Ohh stun darts. That’s not good.

-Looks like chat noir is gonna carry today

-“This is harassment!” Him dodging arrows

-Chat noir earning MVP today!

-the dart hits the statues butt! Chat noir figured out what it does!

-OHHH THE ARROW HAD VENOM!

-Okay so Genesis, venom, Fetch, and Mirage. What are the other two powers?

-Plagg pointing out what happened and telling Adrien he loves him

-Marinette scared she lost her miraculous but Chatnoir explaining the situation AND the plan WHICH MEANS!!!!

-Kwami swap (but will it erase my hatred of Reflekdoll?)

-wait… Is Adrien really thinking about the wish!? Oh damn!!!

-Marinette explaining how the wish would basically do an equivalent exchange, meaning IT WOULD just alter it not fix.

-Damn that sucks

- NOW THE KWAMI SWAP!

-Ladynoire more like Ladysimp!

-“Don’t flatten my partner’s Gorgeous face!”

-Safari got a whip, now watch her Nae Nae… I will see myself out

-“My suit has a weird influence on you!” XD

-Safari just Made Monarch shut up. MAX LEVEL

-MISTERBUG lucky charm!

-Did… Adrien figure out the lucky charm by himself? Hold on,

- Ladynoire can’t control her simping.

-THIS IS WHAT I WANTED FROM A KWAMI SWAP! THIS RIGHT HERE

-This was a battle of thirst and Marinette wins easy

- MISTERBUG being adorable

-MARINETTE CONTROL YOUR THIRST (she just Rawred)

-I can feel the physical manifestation of the facepalm

-Nathalie is there only one I trust with Adrien as his guardian (and Gorilla)

__________________________________________

I now dub this the Anti-Reflekdoll episode.

It is everything I wanted and more.

I do wish they didn’t try to make Gabriel sympathetic. But I loved the episode

Nathalie being an absolute best character

The kwami swap done right

THE SIMPING

Beautiful

9.5/10

[luversgirl]

WORRIED, barry

summary: barry can’t find you and he panics

notes: thx you for 200 followers?? omg i’m in shock wtf. thank you !!! <333

warnings: angst? i think? anyway this sucks soz

YOU were supposed to be at barry’s house at 9.

it was now 11.

barry was worried out of his mind to say the least.

you both had a silent agreement that you always came to his house ( more so trailer ) at nine each saturday but today you didn’t.

he quickly sent you a text around nine when he noticed you were late.

blue berry: you still coming over?

delivered at 9:02 am

then he sent another, and another and another.

blue berry: babe come on stop playing

delivered at 9:04 am

blue berry: y/n?

delivered at 9:07 am

blue berry: please answer

delivered at 9:10 am

he sighed even more worried brushing a hand through his long dark hair.

where could you be?

the bookstore? he thought, no you went in thursday and got 3 new books.

rafes house? you were close friends with rafe thats how you met barry, he sighed. you couldn’t be there rafe had left for a business trip with his dad.

then it hit him, maybe you never left at all.

he quickly jumped on his bike and raced on over to your house.

once he arrived at you’re house he began to worry seeing the curtains were still closed and the porch light was still on from last night.

what if you never came home?

what if you were jumped or hit by a car or—

the man pushed his anxiety induced thoughts slipping off his helmet and jumping his hits bike quickly walking towards your door.

“baby?” he spoke entering house sighing at how the door was left unlocked even though he always told you to lock it.

“anyone home?” he lurked around the empty looking house walking towards your bedroom.

he opened the door he’d been in and out of millions of times only to see his girlfriend safe and sound in her bed sleeping.

he sighed rolling his eyes at his own actions, his anxiety and worry’s washing away at the sight.

he quickly walking on over to the more the familiar bed slipping of his shoes lifting the blanket and slipping in like he’d never left.

“barry?” the girl mumbled turning herself over to face him.

“hey baby” he whispered in a low voice smiling quickly as she latched onto him the a baby koala.

“you got me all worried, women” he chuckled as he wrapped his arms around the girl.

“why it’s-“ y/n cut herself off raising her head from his chest quickly realizing “oh my god i’m so sor-“

“hey hey hey it’s okay baby i just got worried” he chuckled kissing her gently on the lips.

“i’m really sorry i know how worried you get” she sighed.

“it’s okay baby i’m here you now that’s what matters”

taglist: @pogueslandia @prettyboystarkey @iheartrafecameron

[1kook]

disney+ & bust

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door.  warnings; arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of degradation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment, unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, return of mean jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf miscellaneous; ANGST, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans word count; 13k !!

notes; me: *writes couple who’s whole arc is being silly* y’all: MAKE THEM SUFFER GIVE US ANGST!! u ask I deliver so now we all suffer 😐 ngl it was hard writing this fic n u might notice there’s some parts that seem weird n that’s bc this was TWO fics w diff wording but I ended up mixing them bc I’m insane. still had a lot of fun! felt like I challenged myself!! not proofread bc when I say we suffer we SUFFER

please let me know what you think!!! a simple ask goes a long way <3

previous part: kissanime & foreplay

Approximately one week after The Bullet Bestie’s rise to prominence, Jungkook grows annoyed with it as his weirdly competitive nature rears its ugly head the more and more orgasms that little vibrator coaxes out of you. It turns on a weird switch in him, something slightly stuck up and snooty that he’ll never admit to out loud but is there nonetheless. By the following Friday, The Bullet Bestie is nestled deep in your garbage can and Jungkook’s back to pleasuring you with his tongue and fingers alone.

He had those moments in him, the ones where he liked to think he was better than any and everyone else, and occasionally they manifested against inanimate objects like a bullet vibrator.

Despite his polite and generally soft exterior, you catch glimpses of that cocky spirit more than anyone else. Over the past year, you’ve come to realize that Jungkook’s personality was like a coin that had been left out in the sun too long. He had this sweet and reserved nature you saw most times, a kindhearted boyfriend who adored you almost as much as you adored him. He was your angel whom you knew had a heart of gold, even if you were slowly bringing out his more childish tendencies. You knew him like the back of your hand, knew what his mom’s favorite color was and how he liked to stack the plates in his cabinet according to size and make. It was a side that was rusted from years of being out in the sun, basking in its adoring warmth, and you loved every inch about it.

And still, there was this other side to him you rarely saw. This cocky asshole who hid beneath the soft smiles and careful hands, making his appearance only through sly smirks and a tongue prodding against the inside of his cheek. He was a braggart, a man who knew his greatness yielded for no one and wanted that fact shoved down everyone’s faces. This Jungkook, this other side that never saw the light of day, was like the Hyde to his Jekyll. An unexpected, almost mean side to him that only dared make his appearance when his exhilaration was at an all-time high. Like when he was fucking you into another dimension, or kicking your ass in Mario Kart, or like now, when he was receiving an award at an annual tech ceremony.

On the eve of your one year anniversary, Jungkook’s company invites him to an awards ceremony for other web and app developers like him. It’s a grand event, filled with all the biggest nerds in the developing industry here to present the baby nerds with awards. Jungkook lies somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, both a seasoned player and a rookie all at once. He spends the night tolling you around in a floor-length gown and fangirling over all the “legends” in the room.

You know next to none of these people and none of their accomplishments but still pretend you respect them to hell and back. By the end of the main dinner, you’re sympathizing with Barbie’s ever-smiling features because your cheeks feel sore.

Towards the end of the night, Jungkook wins that random award— okay, who were you fooling? He wins the Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award, recognizing him for all the hard work you’ve seen him put in this past year. It’s probably the highest recognition he can receive at this point in his career. It was an esteemed award that was bestowed upon only the most innovative developer of the year among tech companies, something Jungkook had briefly mentioned he always wanted. It’s basically the equivalent of placing first place in his field, but given Jungkook’s competitive industry and his young age, you think it’s like telling all these old Facebook lords to suck his big fat cock. (But that was your job when you got home.)

He gives a short little thank you speech, promising to work hard and own up to this title. The people around you are swooning, obviously endeared with his soft puppy dog features and melodic voice. They don’t know him like you do, don’t know that uppity twist to his grin like you do. It doesn’t slip off his face even when he steps down off the stage, arms wide open as he comes barreling towards you. Even with you in his arms, the congratulations that are thrown from every direction ring loudly in his ears and swell that ego of his.

The night goes like that for the most part, Jungkook’s acquaintances approaching him every few minutes to rain down their praises. He goes a little crazy at the open bar after a while, shoving the gold trophy into your arms as his beloved work seniors whisk him off for drinks. You don’t mind because you resigned yourself to a night of playing Jungkook’s perfectly perfect partner anyway, watching him politely mingling with his coworkers. Despite his earlier success, you know he won’t brag about it verbally. No, he’ll wait until the two of you get home—your place or his—and remind you how amazing he is with a quick snap of his hips.

As you said, he’ll never boast aloud.

However, that doesn’t mean you won’t.

“That’s my boyfriend,” you explain to the seventh person that greets you that night, excitedly pointing to where said boyfriend was slowly losing all sense of self by the bar. You don’t know anyone here beside Jungkook, and you’re pretty sure no one in their hammered minds is going to remember who you are anyway, so a little gloating never hurt anyone. “He won the ‘I’m Better Than Everyone Else’ award tonight,” you emphasize to the tipsy woman beside you who only laughs at your exaggeration. You assume she’s like you, accompanying one of the many developers here, because as soon as you finish boasting about Jungkook she moves to brag about someone too.

Truth be told, you spend the whole night re-analyzing the Zootopia movie you saw on Disney+ the other night in your head. So if the little fox fellow didn’t control himself would the city have fallen to ruins? Why was the useless sheep girl so evil and bitter? Why was there an unreal amount of romantic tension between the fox and the rabbit? Whatever, you’ll have to rewatch it some other night, and with your new Disney+ account, you could watch it anywhere you wanted to.

Now, you had never bothered to purchase a Disney+ subscription or even tried to swindle Jungkook for his password before. As far as you know, Disney+ was filled with old tv shows from your childhood, sitcoms that made you laugh when you were ten. There’s nothing wrong with that, but personally, you were a firm believer that that which was perfect should not be touched once finished; in other words, you were utterly terrified you’d rewatch an old episode of The Wizards of Waverly Place, only to find out the same joke you’ve been regurgitating for the past ten years doesn’t actually go that way.

However, the harsh reality was that Disney+ was good for a few things. Ugh, you hate when giant corporations provide decent services. Aside from Zootopia, you’ve watched about every animated media on there as well, all of which you replay in your mind as Jungkook has the time of his life with these nerds, knocking back champagne glass after champagne glass.

Anyway, the night ends a little past midnight, and Jungkook who is buzzed on alcohol and high on exhilaration ends up calling an Uber for the two of you. Your apartment— the new one he had not only helped you hunt for but also helped you move into, greatly cutting the cost of movers out with those glistening biceps and thick thighs —is still going through her rebellious phase where the potted plants are trying to take over, courtesy of Kim Namjoon. So for now, there’s a potted plant in an awkward corner that both of you stub your toe against on your way to your bedroom.

You’re thinking Jungkook is going to go to town tonight, given the fact he’s on Cloud 9 and has had his ego stroked by a bunch of dudes for the past couple hours. Maybe you guys can try out the hot role-playing scenario you saw on GirlsWay a few weeks ago, or the handcuffs you impulsively bought from Amazon one Monday night. Or maybe, and this one really makes you flutter, he’ll let you fully take the reins for once.

All those lewd fantasies end up being for naught because just as you shimmy out of your gown (with the help of his hands, of course) and turn to climb him like a tree, he’s on the other side of the room getting your makeup remover out for you. And also talking. A lot. And way more than usual.

“Did you see him, babe?” he sighs, dare you to say, dreamily, handing you the cotton pads as he begins pulling a million pins out of your hair. Slowly and with a lot of confusion, you pull your fake lashes off and begin cleaning your face. “He was amazing.”

“Uh-huh,” you say, having absolutely no idea who ‘he’ is or why Jungkook is so in love with him and not you at this very moment. “But so were you,” you add. Perfect. Stroke his ego and then stroke his cock.

Jungkook sputters at your praise. He’s carefully placing your hairpins on your thigh, cheeks flaming red every time he leans over you. “Was I?” he murmurs, voice sweet in that cute little way it always gets when he’s downed one too many shots of whiskey, enough to be buzzed but not enough to be wasted.

You turn and the pins clatter to the floor and across the bedsheets. “Yes,” you confirm, ignoring his sad huff at the mess you’ve made. Instead, you grab him by the collar of that pink button-up he taunted you with all night. “You were fucking incredible and I think incredible men deserve to have their dick sucked.”

Jungkook laughs at your vulgar statement, holding you gently by the hips as you climb into his lap. “Is that so?” The soft, shy persona is gone now, replaced by the gentle stirring beneath his dress pants. You nod hurriedly, plopping down on his lap and running your hands through his styled hair.

“Yes,” you confirm, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Luckily for you, I know this nymphomaniac who would gladly gobble up your cock at your every command.”

He snorts just as you push him into his back, nose adorably scrunched up. “First of all, you know I hate that word,” he chuckles, finally gracing you with a sweet peck that only makes you want him to fuck you into the fifth dimension. “Secondly, please don’t ever say you’ll gobble my cock up ever again.”

Something inside of you squeals with excitement as he rolls the two of you over, firm body pressing down on yours. “Oh, baby,” you groan, lazily throwing a leg over his hip. Jungkook grins and then decides to entertain you for a few minutes with a sloppy kiss.

You say a few minutes because just as things are heating up, he pulls away. He smiles apologetically. “As much as I’d love to be here with you, I actually have an early morning tomorrow.”

You frown at the sudden change in events. “Huh? They’re gonna make you work the morning after a Gatsby party?” you gasp, sitting up as he gets off of you. With every step he takes away from the bed your heart breaks a little more. “They can’t do that— that’s illegal!”

From the doorway he levels you with a comically raised brow. “No, it’s not.”

You scamper after him down the hall, watch the muscles in his back flex as he pulls his suit jacket on. “You can’t work on our anniversary— that’s illegal!” you offer instead.

He stops at your front door, feet squeezed back into his shoes. “Baby, it’s not,” he rolls his eyes, leaning down to peck your forehead. “It was either I work in the morning or work at night,” he explains, giving your messy hair a soothing caress. He’s looking at you with those eyes, the ones that make your heart lodge itself into your throat and make life a tightrope experience. There’s a devastatingly lovesick part of you that wants this moment, this kind face, to be engraved into your mind for the rest of your life. You want this to be the first and last thought you have and nothing else: just Jungkook’s adoring gaze on you for the rest of time.

The moment ends too soon when he flutters one last peck against your lips. “I’ll be done in the afternoon, okay?”

You pout. “Okay, your place?” you huff, making sure to get one last octopus squeeze around his waist. He nods. “Promise you won’t be late?”

The corners of his gaze soften. “You know I won’t,” he smiles, leaning down to bump your noses together playfully. “Can’t stay away from my pretty girl too long. Besides, I have a gift for you tomorrow.”

It’s with that sentiment and a hammering heart that you let him go. With Jungkook gone, there’s really nothing for you to do now. You took the next two days off in preparation for your anniversary sex, so you don’t have to head to sleep early like usual.

With nothing else planned, you decide on rewatching that Zootopia movie that had plagued you all night, ready to dissect every plot hole to hell and back. You don’t think Jungkook’s seen this movie yet so you add it to your long list of animated movies you’re forcing him to watch.

Part of you is actually really surprised Jungkook left. Well, kinda sorta, very, but not really. Jungkook was a good boy, that much was obvious. He took his job seriously, and if his job wanted him to come in at the asscrack of dawn, then he’d come in before the sun even rose. He was a goody-two-shoes, but even so, you were occasionally able to bring out that darker side in him.

Jungkook working, like actually working in an office setting, was pretty rare though. The dude had a chill job that let him stay home most of the time, and essentially clock in whenever he wanted. Every now and then you were able to convince him to stay, tucking him beneath your body or the covers, depending on the night, and refusing to let him go the morning after.

Once he had eaten you out until the wee hours of the day, ravenous between your thighs, and then went to work the next morning like he hadn’t broken you. Another time you had persuaded him into watching every season of the 2017 DuckTales reboot through the night. When the alarm had rung in the middle of the season finale, he had simply gotten into your shower and gone off to work.

So maybe you were a little confident in your skills, and Jungkook slipping between your fingers tonight was a huge bummer. But there was no use crying over spilled milk, you tell yourself, flinging your bra off somewhere in the corner as you snuggle back into your sheets. You’re ready to tear this Zootopia movie apart, scene by scene.

Even though your apartment is a little cold, you’re comforted by the fact Jungkook will be here to keep you warm all day tomorrow.

All men do is lie.

Despite his promise to come home early the next day, Jungkook ends up lying. The meeting he had been in all morning— the same one that had stopped you from getting bent like a pretzel the night before —drags on well past noon. Then, Kim Namjoon, AKA Jungkook’s favorite senpai in the entire world, catches wind of Jungkook’s success last night and absolutely has to take him out to lunch to celebrate.

You scoff, glaring down at your phone and the impulsive messages you’d sent out an hour ago when Jungkook had first texted you telling you he would be late.

You whirl around to stomp off in the direction of his living room, where all of yours and Jungkook’s favorite foods were growing colder by the minute. You had spent the longest time carefully laying them out, making sure the fried chicken was closer than the pizza but not closer than the breadsticks. Truthfully it’s a nightmare. There are about eight stomach aches worth of food sitting on his coffee table, the greasy stench makes you gag and will certainly stick to your hair for weeks, but none of that mattered because it was all for your beau.

Your very late beau who was making you grow more and more agitated with each minute that passed. Ugh! How inconsiderate of him to test your patience on a day like this. You didn’t want to be upset with him, but this was your first, real milestone as a couple with him. You had wanted to spend the whole day cuddled up, maybe finally tell him how much he really meant to you— definitely not waking up alone with eyeliner crusted eyes and an aching heart.

Deciding you’re being a little too dramatic, you head into the bedroom to calm down. This was fine, you tell yourself, carefully laying out the damn near harlotrous lingerie you had yet to put on. Jungkook would come over soon and everything would be A-okay.

Except for the part it’s actually F-not okay because soon it’s nearing sunset and the food has gone cold so you’ve stocked it into the fridge, and the pretty sheer bra has a wonky wire that’s two seconds away from piercing through your heart, but that doesn’t even matter because Jungkook being late for your all-day anniversary celebration has already ripped it to shreds anyway.  

You plop down on the couch in defeat, impulsively opening up the Disney+ app to cry through another episode of Phineas and Ferb. You’ve abandoned the satin robe that came with the lingerie in favor of donning a big t-shirt that smells like him and makes your heart hurt even more. The setting sun paints the living room in muted oranges, the chirping of birds outside the soundtrack to your lonely day.

You end up watching some other cartoon on Disney+, avoiding the Marvel section because you had promised Jungkook he could be there when you lost your Marvel virginity. Well, at least one of you was good at keeping promises, you think bitterly. For a second, you think about randomly watching one of the infamous MCU films out of order just to spite him. But then you think of that soft puppy gaze and how disappointed he’d be in you.

Whatever! It wouldn’t ever match up to the way you felt now.

Anyway, you circle back. When you’re five episodes into Phineas and Ferb you hear the doorknob rattle.

You sit up just as the door swings open, visible from your spot on the couch. He meets your gaze almost immediately, big doe eyes caught in the act. What act? You’re not really sure. In fact, you don’t even know what you’re looking at when he walks in because he’s drowning in shopping bags. His lips twist into a grin. “Honey, I’m home,” he says playfully.

You don’t laugh.

Jungkook frowns, dumping all his bags down at the entrance before waddling over towards you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, coming to stand before you and cupping your face in his hands. He’s towering over you, so tall and gorgeous but for the first time, you’re not dazed by his beauty.

“Kook, you said you’d be back hours ago,” you say slowly, avoiding his gaze. You try to keep the frustration out of your voice, but you’ve had hours to dwell on it now, and those annoying cartoon characters, though charming at first, had only served to multiply your annoyance.  

Jungkook blinks, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I mean… yeah. But I got you presents?” he beams, glancing back at the mountainous pile he made by the door. You look over too. There are some luxury bags squeezed in between other shops you like, the occasional jewelers' logo on the side.

You stand with a sigh, sauntering off into the kitchen with him on your tail. “I don’t want presents,” you mumble, reaching to pour yourself a glass of water. You’re briefly aware of how childish you must seem. Jungkook hovers behind you.

“What? Yes, you do,” he says. “You had an entire wishlist on my Amazon of things you wanted.” It’s his turn to level you with an unreadable expression, slowly crossing his arms over his chest.

Your frown only deepens as you turn to match his stance against the counter. While it may be true that you did indeed have an entire list of impulsive items on his Amazon, that didn’t necessarily mean you wanted them all. Sometimes you just wanted to stare longingly at a pair of satin gloves without actually buying them. You don’t know how to explain this much to him. “They’re not…” you stop with another deep breath. “Forget it. Thank you for the presents.”

Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to question you. “What,” he says in an unimpressed tone, padding over to you before you can escape back into the living room to watch the entire princess movie collection on Disney+. “No, tell me what’s wrong.”

For some reason, that’s exactly what you don’t want to hear. “Jungkook,” you say flatly, narrowing your eyes at him. “You come home six hours after you said you would without telling me why, and normally I wouldn’t care, but today was supposed to be a special day for us.”

Jungkook reels at your bluntness. “Babe, I was out getting stuff for you. I know it’s our anniversary— that’s why I wanted to treat you,” he responds, oddly condescendingly like you’re a child who doesn’t understand what exactly he was doing.

You brush his hands away from your shoulders. “Yeah,” you huff. “Now I know that. But I spent all day waiting for you,” you stress, chest puffing as you grow more and more agitated by his inability to understand you. God, can he let you go now? At least a bunch of animated, geometrically drawn cartoons won’t question you like this and make you feel as childish as he was.

When he doesn’t say anything else you stomp back into the living room, snatching up your phone from its forgotten spot against the couch. “I’m going to bed.”

At that Jungkook seems to kickstart back to life. “What? ___, it’s barely six,” he says as he follows after you into your bedroom. You ignore him, shuffling beneath the covers. In all actuality, you’re going to bed to mope and watch more animated family shows, maybe cry under the guise of the plot just being so sad. Jungkook sits beside you just as you click back on to finish off your episode. “Baby, I don’t get it,” he sighs. “You’re always talking about how much you want this or that, and I go out and get you it all but now you’re mad?”

You bite down on your lip, eyes lasered in on the pictures moving before you. “Jungkook, just forget it.”

“No,” he says, more sternly than he’s ever been with you before. “If there’s a problem, tell me.” There’s a heavy pause, and then he says, “don’t make me waste my time guessing what’s wrong, okay?” 

“Waste your time?” you scoff, sitting up with pinched brows that you find match his. “I’m not trying to waste anyone’s time— in fact, that’s hot coming from you, Jungkook.”

He rolls his eyes. “What are you even saying? You’re mad because I took a little long getting presents, for you, might I add,” he huffs, plopping down on the edge of the mattress beside your knee. “You’re always saying you want this and that, but you can’t handle me going out to get those things? Do you hear how weird you sound?”

You whip the covers off of you. “Me talking about things doesn’t always mean I want them,” you defend.

Jungkook snorts. “Yes, it does,” he says. “Anytime you ramble about stuff for minutes like a little kid it’s because you want me to buy it for you.”

You blink. “Like a little kid?” you repeat, stunned by his comparison. Granted, you always knew you were the more childish of the two, but you never thought that would equate Jungkook thinking of you as a child. Something red and nasty flares in your chest. “Well sorry,” you spit, crossing your arms over your chest defensively, “sorry we all can’t be perfectly mature golden boys who would never see the light of day if I constantly wasn’t dragging them out.” You know it’s a somewhat low blow, especially because Jungkook’s told you before how his introverted tendencies were a sensitive issue growing up, but you can’t help it.

Jungkook groans, dropping his head into his hands. “Baby, don’t do this now,” he warns, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Stop acting like this.”

“Like how?” you spit, “like a kid?” Jungkook says nothing, leveling you with a blank stare from the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes, phone falling off your lap. Another episode of Phineas and Ferb had started, the corny opening tune filling the space between the two of you. “At least now I know what you think of me,” you mutter over the guitar riff.

“Oh my god,” Jungkook blurts, sitting up wildly. “Of course I’m gonna think of you as a stupid little kid, look at you,” he seethes, gesturing at the phone beside you. You flinch. “All you do is watch kids shows and whine whenever I wanna watch anything normal adults watch. You complain every single day about the most normal things, like your job? Why should I fucking care that you’re working a dead-end office job in a field you didn’t even study for— that’s not my problem, __!” he snaps, eyes narrowed into little slits. “I just won an award last night,” he says suddenly, voice back to its regular volume. “I’m at the height of my career and I’m only going up, but I can’t even enjoy that because I have to come home and cater to you,” he finishes, a loud scoff punctuating the final word.

You had never imagined Jungkook finally bragging about himself would be at your expense.

A beat of silence passes, the angry glint in his eyes quickly fading away the longer you don’t say anything. You sniff once, turning your head idly to the side where Phineas and Ferb is still blaring loudly from your phone speaker. Picking up the device, you throw it across the room where it hits his closet door with a terrifying bang the breaks the silence.

The sound snaps Jungkook out of whatever shock he’d been in. “Baby…” he says slowly, carefully, like you’re a caged animal that’s just escaped the zoo.

“I’m going home,” you say, also a little too calmly. You saunter over towards his closet where your shattered phone screen glares up at you as you yank a pair of sweats off a hanger. Jungkook is still frozen on the edge of the bed, watching you with wide eyes as you move about the room.

It’s when you’re in the hallway leading downstairs that Jungkook finally snaps out of his daze, scampering behind you as you descend the stairs. “Baby,” he rushes out, loudly bounding down after you, “___, wait,” he gasps, catching you by the kitchen counter collecting your keys. “I-I didn't mean that,” he rushes out, eyes wide and frantic as they flicker over your expression. “I don’t think that—I don’t, baby, please, just… let me explain, please.”

“Jungkook, let go of me,” you respond, shaking your wrist in an attempt to release yourself. He’s not even holding you tightly— he never would—but the sound of your heart pounding in your ears makes your movements jerky and erratic. “I wanna go home.”

“No,” he chokes, cornering you against the counter. “No, baby, please just listen to me, I-I—“

“You what, Jungkook?” you snap, placing a hand on his chest and forcefully pushing him away. He lets you, stepping back with a wobbly bottom lip. “You need to tell me how you’re too good for me? How much I hold you down because I wasn’t lucky enough to get a job like yours straight out of college?” He says nothing, swallowing roughly as you jab a finger into his chest. “Well let me tell you something,” you snarl, chest heaving, “I may be childish and a huge complainer, but I’m not stupid enough to let someone walk all over me like this.”

With that, you make your great escape. Truthfully, you don’t want him to see the tears in your eyes as you yank his door open, stomping down his steps and in the direction of the nearest bus stop. The door opens right after you tug it shut, painting your shadow across the sidewalk. There’s the scrambled sound of house slippers against the concrete that follows you down. “Go the fuck back inside,” you snap without missing a beat.

Sensing your obvious anger, he pauses before he can reach you. “Text me when you get home?” he calls out quietly.

“No,” you respond.

You would never admit to anyone that you spend the entire night eating a tub of mint chocolate ice cream. It’s disgusting and makes you gag, but it’s the only one you have in your apartment. And of course, it was brought over by none other than Jeon Jungkook himself a few days ago. Even when you’re trying to comfort yourself over how mean he was, on your anniversary night no less, you’re plagued by thoughts of him everywhere.

As much as you want to brush his words off, put on that cool girl exterior you’ve maintained since high school, there’s something different about this situation. You guess it’s impossible to brush off such hateful words when they come from someone you love and adore so much.

Were you too childish? You had always believed that side of you was what made your relationship with Jungkook so perfect. The two of you meshed well because of your differences, like yin and yang. So how had he been able to so easily deconstruct every inch of that balance in a matter of a few seconds? Was this perfect reality all in your head this whole time?

You want to tell yourself it was just a heat of the moment outburst from Jungkook, give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s never snapped at you like this before. Of course you’ve fought a couple of times in the past year, but neither of you had ever stooped as low as you did yesterday. Furthermore, the insecure part of your brain says he obviously felt this somewhere in his heart to bring it up at all. What he had said to you wasn’t something someone could make up on the spot.

You don’t text him when you get home, partly to spite him, but mainly because you had left your phone at his place anyway. You know he tried calling you last night because the call log is synced up to your laptop. He called on and off for about thirty minutes before he probably found your phone in his room. Whatever, he can mope in his regret for all you care

—is what you wanna say, but the longer he goes without showing himself to you the more your insecurities and hurt fester. Was this it? Was this the end of what was probably the best year of your life? It’s too painful to think about, to even consider the possibility that Jungkook might have gained a new insight last night and decided, hey, maybe this is for the best after all.

You drown yourself in an ungodly amount of sugar for breakfast, your laptop blaring yet another episode of Phineas and Ferb on the dining table. Muscle memory has you making Jungkook’s favorite pancakes before you can stop yourself, and by the time you do realize, you’ve resigned yourself to the blueberry smell anyway.

There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb.

It’s not.

It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door. You open the door with a fright, jumping back when he slumps forward and almost crashes face-first into the floor. “You didn’t call,” Jungkook cries, leaning a little too much of his weight onto you when you reach out to steady him.

The thundering of your heart slows upon registering it’s him. “Kook?” you frown, nose pinched at the ungodly stench of alcohol wafting off his clothes. “Have you been drinking?” you ask even though the answer is staring you right in the face (and in the nose).

He groans, staggering deeper into your arms. You blindly push the door shut behind him, resigning yourself to this new situation while your pancakes grow cold in the other room. “Baaaby,” he slurs, letting you guide him into the living space. He’s unceremoniously dumped onto the couch, half-opened eyes gazing up at you. “Let me,” a hiccup, “explain.”

You won’t lie. There’s a very obvious sense of discomfort sitting in your chest, torn between two paths that you don’t wish to choose between. His skin is warm and flushed like he’s just walked all the way here in this morning sun. You step over to the window that faces down onto the street below. There’s no sign of his car; you would have killed him if he ever tried to drive in this state.

“Did you walk here?” you ask instead, deciding there’s no need for one singular path, not when you can walk straight down the middle, both cleaning him and grilling him at the same time.

Jungkook’s response is delayed, head lolling from side to side as you help him out of his sweater. His skin is sweaty beneath, scorching to the touch. “Uh-huh,” he groans. Jesus, you sort of assumed but him confirming it really set things into perspective.

By no means did you and Jungkook live on opposite ends of the earth. On a good day, a drive from your place to his took about ten minutes. But walking? Easily an hour. Had he walked all the way from his place, drunk on top of that?

You brush his hair away from his face, his eyes fluttering shut at your touch. His lips are pouty yet chapped, dehydrated from the sun and the alcohol he reeks of. “Sit up for me,” you instruct, scampering off to your room for chapstick and water.

“Anything for you,” Jungkook wheezes, throat probably dryer than a desert. When you return, he’s two seconds from face planting into the coffee table and breaking that pretty face of his. You catch him with a hand on his shoulder, keeping him balanced. “Tell me what to do,” he chokes out, voice hoarse.

“Just need you to drink some water,” you say, pressing a cup against his lips. He drinks it, but a drop still dribbles down his chin.

“No,” he groans, catching your wrist in his hand when you reach up to apply some chapstick on him. “Tell me what to do,” he stresses, “to fix this. Fix us.”

His words make you pause, the tube of chapstick hovering over his plush lips. “You don’t have to do anything,” you respond quietly, trying to finish the application so you can pull away.

Jungkook doesn’t let you go. You try to look away, but there’s something about him that looks off. Maybe it’s the raw skin under his eyes, red and swollen. Or the sad droop to those same eyes that hold you captive. Or maybe it’s the subtle tremble in his hands, the fingers that hold tightly to your wrist, not to keep you there but to ground himself. “I don’t wanna lose you,” he rasps out, shakily bringing your hand to his mouth, where he presses one airy kiss to your knuckles. “Tell me ho-how to fix this and I’ll do it,” he pleads, a vulnerable look in his eyes.

Unable to withstand the sheer amount of agony on his expression, you look away. “___, please,” he chokes out, stumbling off the couch in his drunk and desperate haze until he’s kneeling in front of you. “I can’t… I can’t,” he sniffles, tears clouding those pretty eyes you’ve come to love so much. “I don’t know who I am without you.”

You clench your jaw. “You’re Jeon Jungkook,” you murmur, slipping your hand out of his hold to run through his hair. It’s knotted and a little too greasy, two things Jungkook would usually never allow. “This year’s Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award recipient,” you remind him, trailing your thumb across his cheekbone when he turns to look up at you with those big Bambi eyes. “Sweet and shy, but you love being rowdy with your friends. You love movies and TV and organizing your shirts according to fabric type. You work harder than anyone I know and never complain. You date me, even though I’m a huge child,” you smile sadly.

“No!” he jumps, turning that frantic stare back into you. “Y-You’re not— it’s not,” he stammers, words still slurring together. “I’m a liar,” he cries, resting his forehead on your knees. His shoulders shake. “I don’t deserve you,” he weeps quietly. You place a hand on his shoulder. “Y-Y-You make my life so much better, ___, so colorful and fun. I-I wish I knew you in high school,” he admits, “maybe I wouldn’t have been so emotionally constipated now.”

“You’re not,” you reassure him softly.

He disagrees. “You bring out the best,” he hiccups, “the best in me.” Your heart skips in your chest. “I-I love you, you know that?”

You sputter, eyes wide at his sudden confession. “I… love you so much, y’know? I think about you ev-every night, ___,” he rambles, eyes dreamily gazing off into some miscellaneous spot on the wall behind you. “I can’t get you out of my head. Like you're a song, o-on repeat but it’s not annoying because it’s my favorite song, and I could listen to it for the rest of my life, y’know? My favorite song, I know all the words b-because it’s all I think about! I love... My love… I love you so much.”

“Kook,” you rush out, cheeks flaming as you try to pull him away from where he’s slumped over your legs. His passionate speech has you abuzz, body tingling everywhere until you feel overwhelmed, head spinning like you’re on a rollercoaster. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He nods sleepily, seemingly coming down from whatever alcohol induced rampage has allowed him to walk for an hour straight in this searing heat just to confess to you. “Y-You don’t have to say it back,” he continues to stutter as you guide him through the living room on wobbly legs. “I just-I just— can I?” he babbles. “Can I love you, ___?”

You pass through the kitchen space, where whatever you were watching on Disney+ is blaring loudly. It distracts Jungkook for about two seconds before his attention returns to you. When you don’t answer, he presses on. “Is that okay?” he asks, whirling around to face you, catching your shoulders in his hands. He towers over you by the entrance to your bedroom, dark curls tickling your forehead. His eyes are dark and glazed over, both in tears and an emotion so raw and unfiltered it squeezes around your chest until you can’t breathe. “Is it okay for me to love you?” he murmurs softly, knocking his nose against yours.

Your cheeks blaze. “Yes, th-that’s fine, Kook,” you blubber, placing a hand over his chest, where his heart is also hammering away. “Just need you to go rest now, okay?”

He nods sleepily, nudging your nose with his one last time, like a soft almost-kiss, before letting you push him into the room. “Yes, yes,” he breathes, his body finally crashing from his adrenaline spike. He flops down onto the bed unceremoniously, dark waves fanning across your pillows. You try to wiggle him out of his shirt, but it only gets about halfway up his chest before he blindly reaches for the covers. His legs stick out awkwardly, clad in the sweatpants you’ve come to associate with him.

When he’s all swaddled up in your blanket he finally goes limp, tiny snores leaving his lips as he dozes away from reality. You sigh, pressing a palm to his forehead. He’s still warm and clammy, but at this point, there’s nothing you can do but wait for him to sober up.

With a final kiss to his forehead, you leave the room, closing the door behind you before sliding against the wooden surface. There’s a trapped bird in your chest, wildly flapping its wings in an effort to get out, and it’s all stupid Jungkook’s fault in the next room. Stupid Jungkook who demolished and remodeled your heart all in less than twenty-four hours. It doesn’t calm down, even when you rush off into the kitchen for a glass of water, or when you try to immerse yourself in some other show on Disney+. It stays beating against your ribs and your chest until you’re forcing yourself to sit down on the couch and process.

He wakes up a little before dinner. You hear him from the living room, where you’re flicking through the options on Disney+ for the nth time that day. You’ve seen the first fifteen minutes of about twenty different series and movies by now, always growing antsy and abandoning them early on. The only reason you know he’s awake is because the shower turns on for a few minutes, and then his bare feet are heard padding across the hallway back into your room.

By the time he resurfaces in the living room, you’ve resigned yourself to just more Phineas and Ferb, nonchalantly watching the silly cartoon. (Except you’re anything but nonchalant, and your heartbeat rings in your ears.)

Jungkook hovers by the door, clad in a pair of shorts he’s left here before, and a t-shirt you stole from him. “Hey,” he says quietly, lingering by the doorframe. You nod back in response. “Can I watch with you?” Again, another nod.  

Slinking over to the couch, he’s rather careful as he sits down, leaving a few inches of space between the two of you. You don’t even think he can see the screen of your laptop until he murmurs, “he’s my favorite character,” when Perry the Platypus appears on the screen.

You hum. “Thought you didn’t like these kids shows?” you ask. You don’t mean it to sound as petty and backhanded as it comes out, but that’s really no one's fault but his own.

Jungkook’s breathing tightens beside you. “No,” he admits, “I don’t. Only watch them because I know you like them.” You contemplate pausing the episode and engaging in a real conversation with him, but at this point, you’re very tired from the events of the last day. Jungkook doesn’t press either, just shuffles more comfortably beside you.

You get about five minutes in, quiet chuckles shared between the two of you, before he strikes. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he says, so hushed you almost don’t hear it. His hand is resting in the space between you, pinky brushing against yours. “About… being late. And the presents.”

You inspire slowly. “That wasn't even the problem, silly,” you brush off. From your peripheral, you see Jungkook’s slow nod. “I didn’t want any presents,” you mention, “I just wanted you.” You look away from the screen immediately after, pretending like the spot on the ceiling is actually really interesting.

The two of you fall into silence, the animated characters on your screen rapidly chattering away. “Oh,” Jungkook says after a moment.

You roll your eyes. They’re moist but you don’t want him to see. “Yeah, oh,” you parrot back softly, relaxing into the couch again. “Did you eat the food I left out?”

Jungkook shuffles beside you, the soft lull of the speakers soon being cut as he reaches over to pause Phineas and Ferb. A couple of seconds pass and then he’s leaning into you, head resting on your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, placing a palm over the hand he had been teasing for the past few minutes. “I thought I knew what I was doing but I was wrong.”

His voice is so soft and sincere, it makes your chest ache. You try to burrow your face against your opposite shoulder, try to hide the stray tear that escapes out of the corner of your eye. “It’s fine,” you brush off, voice choked off and hoarse.

Jungkook leans up, pecks your cheek so tenderly it makes you go mushy. “No, it’s not fine. I acted like a know-it-all and said something way out of line,” he murmurs, raising his head to look at you. His hand feels warm over yours. It’s the touch you craved all day and yesterday, the warm feel of his body against yours. You’re embarrassed at how easily you melt into it. “You’re the best thing that has happened to me in a long time,” he tells you, holding your hand close to his chest. “I had no right to say those things to you.”

You sniffle, resting your head against his shoulder now. His heart beats loud enough for you to hear. “Was it true?” you mumble. “Do you really think of me like that?”

He shakes his head, his soft breaths fanning across your forehead. “No, never,” he answers. “I think you’re incredible. My brain was just trying to justify my dumb anger.”

You nod, even if you don’t believe it just yet. But that was a conversation for later, you suppose, sometime in the future when you aren’t on the verge of tears and threatening to crumble apart at the simplest word that leaves his mouth.

“I should have come home like you wanted, thought about my words before saying them,” he says, snuggling closer to you. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” you sniffle, covering your face with your free hand as he presses a kiss to the vein that runs over the back of the hand he’s holding captive. “Now it just sounds like I'm just being inconsiderate of your gifts and a crybaby.”

Jungkook kisses your temple softly, gently. “Don’t think about the gifts,” he says. “Just tell me what you wanted to do, doll.”

His voice calms you, has you like putty in his arms. “Watch movies,” you mumble, toying with a thread on your couch cushion. “Be with you.”

He hums. “Then we’ll do that,” he says, reaching for your laptop again. The screen nearly blinds you when it flickers back to life before you, Jungkook’s low breaths against your ear making it near impossible for you to process the titles on the screen. “You liked Disney+?”

Belatedly, you nod. “I like the animated movies,” you admit quietly, the anxieties of before slowly melting away, even more so when he slides his arm around you, pulling you close against his chest.

Unlike other times where he’ll critique the hell out of such childish films, Jungkook says nothing as he starts up the Zootopia movie instead, the same one you had wanted to show him before, right from the beginning. “That bunny looks like you,” you murmur when Judy Hopps first appears on the screen.

Jungkook snorts. “You say that about every cartoon bunny.”

You turn your head to glance at him over your shoulder. He meets your gaze with a small smile you return. “It’s because you’re so cute,” you say softly, lips twisting playfully when his cheeks grow scarlet.

He knocks his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering shut. “Not cute, just lucky,” he chuckles. “Lucky enough to have you.” Your heart turns over in your chest, threatening to burst out of your rib cage at his words. You try to turn in his arms. Before you can say the words that have been sitting on the tip of your tongue for months now, he’s beating you to it once again. “I love you,” he confesses in a hushed whisper, no alcoholic influence. 

Something inside of you blossoms, eyes wide as he chastely kisses you. He pulls away without you ever reacting, too caught up in surprise to kiss him back properly. He stays close, curls tickling your forehead as he leans over you. “You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted you to know. I love you,” he says again, long lashes blinking down at you. “So much. It makes me feel like a stupid teenager again, going to the mall to buy a gift for my crush.” He laughs sheepishly, reaching down to tangle your fingers together. “Is that okay?” he asks quietly, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

It mirrors the confession he’d given you that morning, those slurred words and teary eyes. It had been difficult to pinpoint the legitimacy of it before, the meaning scrambled by his hazy mind. But with him staring at you like this now, like you single-handedly plucked the stars from the sky to put them in those sparkly eyes of his, it makes something inside you ache.

Still, you choke on your own spit. “I-Is it okay for you to love me?” you sputter incredulously, realizing the oddity of the same question he’d thrown at you earlier. But now, you’re both sober and you can really tear apart that sentence. Jungkook nods a little too seriously for your liking. “Are you crazy?” He blinks in confusion, brows pulling together as you slowly but surely lose the last bits of your sanity. “You’re an idiot, Jeon Jungkook,” you huff, “a stupidly handsome, rich, walking dream, idiot who goes out with stupid girls like me.”

“Not stupid,” he murmurs, closing in on you again as he finally understands the truth behind your masked insults. He smells minty and like his favorite body wash of yours.

“No,” you deny. “You’re actually, like, insane. You have a bachelor pad, make enough money to sustain an entire litter of kittens, look and talk like every teenage girl’s dream boyfriend— but you mess it all up by dating evil, conniving hoes like me who lose their shit over Disney cartoons.” He says nothing, watching you with an amused grin as you talk over yourself, basically regurgitating his statement from yesterday except it kinda seems plausible now that you’re over it. “It’s stupid. No, you’re stupid. No— I’m stupid.”

Jungkook chuckles, kissing the corner of your mouth gently. “Done?” he says, a dimple appearing on his cheek. You could kiss it away, but you need him to know the amount of stupidity in this room was astronomically high. “You’re not stupid, baby,” he says. You level him with a look. “Well. You have your moments.”

“Moments?” you repeat, standing up in a hurry that has him flopping down beside you. Your laptop is lost somewhere on the cushions, the voices faded as they grow farther away. “I am so stupid. I called Namjoon a whore for taking you out for lunch!” you cry. “I am the stupidest person in the world.”

Jungkook cackles, standing up beside you. “Yes, yes, you’re my stupid girl,” he teases, tapping the pout on your lips playfully. “So stupid she slanders herself instead of just telling me she loves me too.” He bumps your noses together, dark eyes staring at you almost daringly after his claim.

You fold soon enough. “I love you,” you mumble, “even if I’m too stupid to say it.”

He rewards your confession with a kiss, pulling you into his arms soon after. He sighs, almost wistfully. “Whatever shall I do with my very stupid girl?”

After exactly three minutes of feeling safe and loved in his arms, he abandons the living room in favor of leading you back to your room, where he pushes you down against your mattress. You cling to him, leaving him positioned over you at an angle. His chest presses against yours, arm curled around the back of your head. “Gotta get up, baby,” he laughs.

You shake your head, caging him in your arms. “Nuh-uh,” you murmur, legs wiggling when he places a hand on your hip.

Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss against the side of your ear. “Your movie is still playing in the other room,” he reminds you, thumb drawing soothing circles on your hip. You don’t release him, his mindless touch only encouraging you to keep him close. “Babe?”

You say nothing, relishing in the comfort of Jungkook’s presence. His hair smells good and feels even softer against the side of your face. The cotton shirt he found is crumpled beneath your fists, dark blue pattern wrinkling. Finally coming to terms with his new home, Jungkook eventually relaxes into your hold with a sigh.

“Alright,” he hums, patting your hip as he repositions himself more comfortably. “I get it. My pretty girl must’ve missed me, huh?” You nod, soaking in every detail about him in this moment. Jungkook shifts, the hand on your hip suddenly falling over your thigh instead. “Or should I say my stupid girl?” he purrs, hand slipping between your thighs. “My stupid, little girl?”

A gasp catches in your throat when he runs his fingers over the front of your panties. Your legs kick out wildly at the sudden touch, toes curling at the hands you dreamt about all day and night. “Oh,” you pant, each brush of his fingers feeling better than the last.

“What?” he says, mouthing against the side of your neck. His tongue feels warm, but the trails of saliva he leaves have you shivering. “Too dumb to speak?” he scoffs, biting down against a particular spot on your neck. You whimper, unsure if it’s because of his hands or his mouth.

“N-No,” you try to sneer back, fingernails digging into his skin through his shirt. His hands are getting braver now, the pad of his pointer finger dancing over your engorged clit. The sheer material of your panties certainly doesn’t help, each touch feeling like it’s being magnified three times over. And if it felt this good with underwear, you can’t even begin to imagine how it’d feel without.

You don’t have to ponder for long, because soon after Jungkook is slipping his hand beneath your waistband, touching your sensitive pussy head-on. “Kook.”

He uses your momentary vulnerability to ease himself from your hold, finally recoiling enough to smother your mouth with his. You moan in surprise, thighs quivering as he gets to work circling your hardened bud sans your panties. Jungkook isn’t the least bit kind as he kisses you ruthlessly, likes he’s trying to compensate for something with his movements. When he finally pulls away it’s with an obnoxious pop and cherry red lips. He huffs, glancing down to see where he’s got his fingers pleasuring you.

Your thighs are squirming back and forth, closing around his hand every few seconds. Jungkook snorts. “Huh, look at that,” he mutters, trailing down until his fingers are gliding over your quickly sopping folds. “Stupid girl is good for something.”

Your cheeks burn. “Kook, I’m not—“

Jungkook levels you with an unimpressed glare. “Not what? Not stupid? But I could’ve sworn you just spent the last few minutes saying you were,” he drones meanly, landing one light slap against your cunt that makes your hips buck.

You bite down a whimper. “I was just…” you trail off, eyes rolling back when he teases one finger against your opening.

“Kidding?” he supplies. “Well, I wasn’t.” Your heart stutters in your chest, eyes growing wide as he finally pushes himself off of you, propping himself up with an elbow beside your head. His gaze is dark and unrecognizable. “I think you’re so fucking stupid, doll,” he sneers. “And what are you gonna do about it?”

You should have seen this moment coming, the manifestation of that shiny side of the coin finally reaching its full potential.

While Jungkook wasn’t exactly shy about his interests, he certainly wasn’t tripping over himself to tell you every new kinky thing he wanted to try. You sort of guessed he had some interest in this sort of play a few weeks ago when you watched the Barbie movie at his place. A lot of that night had branded itself into your three am wet dreams, but there was one particular moment that stood out to you. That was you, on your knees, with him condescendingly patting your head. Or just last week, you vaguely remember the term slipping through his lips as he pleasured you with The Bullet Bestie.

The thing about Jungkook was that, until last night, he would have never admitted, or so much as even thought, that he was better than you. That was fine because you would say it enough for the both of you anyway. Did you think Jungkook was amazing, an absolute diamond among these measly rocks? Absolutely. (Were you slightly biased because you were his girlfriend? Skip.) However, you also had this insane evil villain complex that made you want to brag about everything you possibly could, especially if that meant bragging about your boyfriend.

Realistically speaking, he was better than you, that much you could look past yesterday’s anger to admit, and not even in a stuck-up, conceited way; he had a really good job, an architecturally amazing house, and a hot girlfriend. Meanwhile, you had a mediocre job, an okay apartment, and an insanely sexy Calvin Klein boyfriend, half of which he had pointed out yesterday. Regardless of how powerful that third factor was, he still outnumbered you three to one.

Sue you, Jungkook was amazing. Anyone could see that! Except, maybe, himself.

And if the only time Jungkook would openly brag about his greatness or establish how much better than you he was, was in a post-fight, sex-induced setting, then you were more than happy to be his punching bag. So long as it was on your terms, and not as a result of his weirdly bottled up feelings.

(Yeah, you would have a long talk about that tomorrow.)

But for now, you pout up at him, clamping your thighs shut purposefully. “You’re stupid too,” you defend, “stupid and mean.”

Something in his expression changes. Suddenly, he’s moving at superhuman speed as he snatches his hand out from where you had previously trapped him between your legs, yanking you up by the front of your shirt. “Mean?” he mocks. “Isn’t that what you always wanted?” You shiver, fingers wrapping around the wrist that holds your sweater. “Wanted me to be mean and push you around like a little rag doll?”

Jungkook looks at you for another two seconds, before he’s slowly pulling away from you, leaning back on his knees. His tongue is pressing against the inside of his cheek, jaw tightening from the movement. “Baby,” he says so quietly it instills a prickle of fear in you, tainted with delicious excitement.

“Yeah?” you whisper, sitting up tentatively as you watch him, He was a bit frightening, like a wild animal about to devour you whole.

Jungkook rolls his neck, the joints in his spine cracking as he begins tugging off his shirt. You salivate at the sight, too focused on the sinewy muscles of his body to catch the dark gaze he levels your way. He throws it off to the side, his sleeve of tattoos that wraps around his bicep and begins to crawl down his chest wonderfully unobstructed now. “Eyes up here,” he says and you quickly meet his gaze. He leans forward, muscled arms coming to cage you against the headboard. “Stupid little sluts don’t have the room to make such comments,” he rasps out, unamused expression adorning his normally soft features. “Don’t you think so?”

“I-I don’t know,” you stammer, leaning away as he comes closer and closer, eventually just turning your head to the side to avoid that emotionless look. It’s the wrong move, and Jungkook lets you know as much by forcefully digging his fingers into your cheeks and turning your face back around to meet his gaze.

A hand grabs beneath your knee, tugging harshly until you’re flopping down onto your back with a squeal. You settle with his knee pressed hotly against your core. Jungkook stays towering over you. “Dumb little girls who make me watch cartoons,” he spits, tracing a hand over your chest, molding your breasts beneath his hands roughly enough to make you gasp. “And watch little animal movies on Disney+. Aren’t they just so stupid?”

“So stupid,” you concede, subtly shifting your hips for some desperately needed friction. Jungkook snorts, finally granting you your wish with one rough slide of his thigh against your core.

“I agree,” he says, and surprises you with a hand around your throat as he leans in to properly grind his thigh into you. “All they’re good for is being dumb little sluts with good pussy,” he murmurs darkly, thumb pressing into the side of your neck forcefully. “Sometimes, they don’t even do anything,” Jungkook continues, his other hand on your hip hauling you higher up his thigh. You mewl, soaked panties rubbing roughly against your folds. You miss the soft swirl of his thumb, the gentle prod of his fingers. Even so, you can’t deny this change in Jungkook is doing something to you, riling up a part of you that you hadn’t known existed. Maybe it’s the horniness from yesterday that was left unfulfilled, the one year anniversary sex that was put on pause. “Just lay there and take it, too fucked out and dumb to say anything.”

His fingers loosen for the briefest of seconds and you gasp for breath. “That’s terrible,” you whimper, rolling your hips up into his thigh, so close to his swollen cock.

Jungkook chuckles without an ounce of humor, pressing your foreheads together as he helps grind you to completion. “Isn’t it? I think that stupid little girl is cute though.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt, vision spotting as he tightens his hand back around your throat. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you moan, stomach tight from all the stimulation.

Jungkook hums, slowing you down with a tight grip on your waist. “Hm, what are you sorry for?” he croons, pink lips pulling into an evil smile. “You said you weren’t that stupid girl, __.”

You shake your head, trying to roll your hips up again but he’s holding you too tightly now, rendering you immobile beneath him. “I am,” you choke out shamefully, grabbing at the hand on your hip in a feeble attempt to remove it. “I am a stupid little girl.”

Jungkook smirks, leaning down to slot his mouth over yours. “That’s right,” he murmurs, “nothing but a dumb little slut.”

You shiver, opening your mouth when he slides his tongue against your bottom lip. He’s not the slightest bit nice, and more messy than usual. He pulls away with a bite to your lower lip, meeting your trembling gaze with that same unrecognizable glint in his eyes. “Come on, dummy, keep up,” he snarks before devouring you again. You try to, you really do, but he’s moving like an animal today, despite his slow and drunken movements from that morning. So you end up with his saliva dripping down your throat, clinging to the corners of your lips as he begins slowly grinding you against his thigh again. He flashes you a wicked smile, pearly teeth on display for you as he glances down at your messy appearance.

“Are you gonna touch me?” you ask, lower lip trembling at the thought after your desperate rutting. Jungkook purses his lips together in thought.

“Mmm,” he hums. “Don’t know yet.”

You whine. “Jungkook, please,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I need you.”

Jungkook chuckles, running his hand up your waist and taking your shirt with him. He slips his fingers beneath your bra, pushing the wire over your chest as he mouths at your neck. “Cute,” he says. “Can’t do it yourself?”

You tremble, chest arching into him as he rolls your nipple between his fingers. “I-I can,” you gasp. “Just feels better with you.”

Jungkook follows your statement with a nip against your skin, tongue soothing over it right after. “Why? Because I do everything better than you? Even make you cum better than you?”

Your cheeks heat up at his blatant ego rearing its head, hands carding through the hair at the nape of his neck. You say nothing, and that only eggs Jungkook on. “Come onnn,” he teases, finally, finally rolling his hips down onto your core. You squeak, head falling back against the pillows as you’re granted the one thing you’d been chasing. “Say it.”

“Say what?” you ask, voice wobbly as he continues to slowly rut against you, the front of his shorts pressing against the soaked crotch area of your panties. “Oh, oh, Jungkook,” you whine.

Suddenly he bites down harshly, teeth digging painfully into your skin. You yelp in surprise, pussy throbbing at the pain that shoots throughout your body. Jungkook pulls away and doesn’t bother soothing over it as he leans up to capture your jaw this time. “Say you’re a stupid little slut who can’t do anything without me,” he purrs, kisses too soft for the words he says.

Your mind blanks, torn between the humiliating phrase he wants you to say and properly checking him in his place. In the end, it’s with a twisted need to please him that you’re repeating the words back to him. “I-I’m a stupid slut,” you whimper, fingers digging into his shoulder blades as he continues pushing you right along the edge. The rope pulled tightly in your core is slowly being pulled apart, threads hanging on for dear life. “Can’t... can't do anything without...”

“Without who?” he asks, reaching down and untying the front of his shorts. “Can’t do anything without who, baby?”

“Without you, without you,” you cry, bucking your hips up against his, the combined movements of both your bodies making you shake like a leaf. “Ah, K-Kook,” you wail, hips stuttering as your orgasm finally swallows you up. Your panties quickly grow wet and icky from your own arousal that pools between your thighs. Jungkook lets you writhe beneath him as you chase your high, mouth sucking a pretty blossom against your jaw.

You know better than to expect the night to end here, especially after seeing the glint that had been in his eyes as he watched you unravel.

He leans close, let’s his nose brush against yours as you catch your breath. “So perfect for me,” he groans, slotting his lips against yours. You can barely keep up with him, languidly going along with his hot tongue. “Perfect, perfect girl,” he murmurs, a stark change from the less than friendly adjectives he used just moments before. “Tell me you love me?” he says softly.

You nod, mind fuzzy as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Love you,” you exhale, letting your fingers knot in his hair. Your proclamation does something to him, makes him grind the front of his cotton shorts hard against you. For someone that was often rough and brutal with you in bed, he sure was sensitive to the mushiest of things.

“Don’t deserve you,” he huffs, hot breath fanning across your skin. He switches gears fairly quickly. “Tell me you hate me,” he begs hoarsely, rutting against your soiled panties. “Tell me I’m a piece of shit and you could do better without me,” he pleads, voice too airy to be another one of his usual sex-induced thoughts.

You shake your head, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he rolls his hips. “It’s not true,” you whisper, “I love you more than you’ll ever understand.”

Jungkook groans, suddenly winding back and tearing your ruined panties down your legs. You gasp in surprise, letting him haul you about in his blind, self-inflicted rage. “Stupid, stupid,” he huffs, though at this point you can’t tell who it’s directed at. With your underwear out of the way, he wastes no time plunging his fingers back into your cunt, bypassing the tight ring of muscle around it without any of his usual care. “You should hate me,” he snarls, lips pressed against your ear.

You moan, back arching at the sudden pleasure that blossoms between your thighs. “I-I don’t,” you gasp, toes curling.

Jungkook groans, the sound traveling down your spine and straight into your pussy. “Stupid girl,” he huffs, slipping an arm around you to pull you so close until you can’t breathe, chests lined up together. His skin is warm to the touch, scorching almost. “Fuck,” he groans, curling his fingers inside of you. You whimper and moan, incapable of staying still beneath him as he tortures you with a thumb to your clit. “Tell me you hate me,” he seethes again.

Despite the fog that’s settled over your mind, you still manage a resolute shake of your head. “N-no,” you cry, digging your nails into his back. They run dark red lines over his skin, making him hiss at the sting.

Whatever punishment he’s trying to put himself through is falling through with your refusal to admit such a thing. It aggravates him even more, your adamant stance on loving him so, and he’s retracting his fingers before you can cum again. “Please,” he chokes, face tucked into your neck. He’s sloppy with his movements; as he pulls his shorts down and kicks them away, he nearly suffocates you with his weight. “I don’t deserve you, ___, please.”

“I love you,” you whimper for lack of explanation. Jungkook leans back, that same madman gaze in his glossy eyes. He’s looking at you in disbelief almost, pouty lips puckered and swollen. Your hands slip from around him, falling on either side of your head.

Like a cobra he strikes, collecting your wrists in one hand he pins above your head. The sudden movement has him leaning in close, lips brushing over yours. His lashes are coated in a wetness he refuses to acknowledge, looking at you like you drive him insane. “If you ever try to leave me,” he whispers, jerky breath fanning over your skin, “I’ll lose my mind.”

He loves you so much it aches.

“I won’t,” you whimper, feeling your own eyes well up with an emotion that consumes every inch of your being. “I’ll never leave you, you stupid, stupid boy.”

A faint smile crosses his features at your words, lips quirking to the side. You relish in it for all of two seconds before he’s ramming his cock into you, your sensitive walls spawning around him. You sob loudly, eyes rolling back into your head. Your legs instinctively hook themselves around his waist, digging into the base of his spine as he rolls his hips into you.

You feel full and complete like he belongs there in this moment and every moment after this. It makes your heart constrict painfully. Jungkook’s soft groans follow your more unraveled noises, the vulgar slapping of skin on skin the underlying melody to it all. “Ffffuck,” he spits, greedily swallowing your moans up. You whine, arms bucking in an effort to hold him close. But he’s determined in his act of restraining you, long fingers tightening around your wrists until they hurt. “I warned you, didn’t I?” he huffs, snapping his hips into you.

Your walls clench around his hard cock, the drag as he exits sending shivers throughout your body. Jungkook’s body towers over you, glistening in sweat as he nails you into your mattress. “Remember what I said?” he asks, voice but a shuddery exhale. You shake your head numbly, overwhelmed by the rough drag across your walls. “All those months ago, when you first came over,” he adds. The hand on your hip abandons its post to cup you beneath the jaw, palm pressing sinfully against your throat enough to block the tiniest of airflow. “I’ll fuck you and keep you forever,” he murmurs, voice deeper than the pits of hell. He licks a fat stripe over your cheek like you’re nothing but a sweet for him to devour. “Do you remember that, pretty girl?”

You nod jerkily, hips arching up into him when he thrusts into you again. It’s a memory that replays in your mind every so often, your first night with the man you had planned to humiliate over a mere misunderstanding, now your boyfriend of one year. “Want that,” you gasp, tears blurring your vision when he begins picking up the pace. “Wanna be y-your pretty girl forever.”

Jungkook groans, kissing the corner of your mouth. His thighs are some magnificent beings, keeping his pace consistent even as he loses himself in his overwhelming need to kiss you. “Always,” he manages, soft lips pressed against yours. “I won’t ever let you leave.”

A shriek tears itself from your lips as he picks up that harsh piston, releasing your jaw to hold both wrists above your head. It makes his curls dangle in front of his eyes, covering that beautiful dark gaze. It makes his thin little necklace swing back and forth too, though it’s too small to actually touch your face. The rhythmic swing has you hypnotized, just like everything else about Jungkook.

With the length of his hair, you’re left staring at his lips, pulled taut between his pearly white teeth. The word from before sits heavy in your chest, begs to drip from the tip of your tongue. But he’s moving too fast and too hard, scrambling your thoughts until all you can think about is the cock plunging into your heat. His name falls from your mouth like mindless blubber instead, arms thrashing as your second orgasm swallows you up. It sends you crashing, body spasming as the sheer euphoria waves over you slowly and then all at once.

“Perfect,” he grunts, leaning down to slot his mouth against yours, “my perfect girl.” Your cum makes the sound of his hips erotic, the loud squelching following your panting. Still sensitive from your high, your body unconsciously tightens around him, keeps his cock from fully leaving. It brings a soft whine out of Jungkook, one he tries to muffle against the side of your face.

“Inside,” you whimper, even though your body feels like jelly beneath him. “Cum inside, Kook, please,” you beg.

It only takes a few more thrusts into your leaking hole for him to finally reach paradise, hips stuttering when that first shot of pleasure hits him. “Fuck, fuck,” he growls, wildly snapping his hips into your achy cunt. You moan, feeling just about brainless at the overstimulation. His cum leaves you full, almost makes your belly bulge from it. When he’s done he doesn’t bother pulling away, simply slumping into your limp form. His cock, though quickly softening, serves as a plug for the cum threatening to spill out of you.

There’s a muted noise coming from the other room, the faint sound of the mail slipping through your letterbox, the quiet chattering of the street outside. And of course, the loud blaring of your laptop playing the Phineas and Ferb theme song. Jungkook registers it at about the same time as you, a soft chuckle leaving his lips.

He pushes off of you soon after, leaning on his palms over you. He’s got that molten look on his eyes, the heat of a thousand suns burning behind those irises as he looks at you. Like he can’t get enough, even though he’s just about taken everything there is to take. “Love you,” he murmurs quietly.

A drop of sweat rolls over his forehead, clinging to the end of his eyebrow. You reach up and brush it away, let your hand trail down his face to cup his cheek. Immediately he leans into the touch, eyes falling half shut. “Love you more,” you respond.

“Impossible,” he scoffs.

Soon after you’re both stumbling out of bed, clothes haphazardly shrugged back on as you drift through the living room. There’s a thin, hot pink package sitting at the door, just having slipped through the letterbox; the stark Sexuality Unleashed logo is printed on the visible side, so you have to wonder what Doyeon could have possibly ordered this time that could be so thin. The laptop is awkwardly sandwiched next to a throw pillow, barely open a crack. Jungkook retrieves it, sets it on his lap as you scamper over to the couch.

“More Phineas and Ferb?” he asks quietly. He hates it, you know he does. And still, he wants to watch it with you.

You nod. “Please.”

He isn’t so concerned with the plot as you, clicking some random episode to start. You snuggle into his side, quietly singing along to the opening. After a moment, Jungkook speaks again. “Phineas and Flirt?” he offers cheekily.

You roll your eyes. “That might’ve been your worst one yet,” you sigh, trying to drown out his indignant huff by focusing on the screen.

“I don’t exactly see you coming up with these,” he points out, obviously feeling wronged.

Without missing a beat you say, “Disney+ and bust.”

epilogue

commercial break one ; the resolution

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[yukisnowywriting]

Prank Of Trust

Luke Pearce x fem!reader

Masterlist

Genre : fluff and a little angst(?), some comfort maybe (?), a very questionable genre (?) crack

Warning : mentions of sexual harrasment/abuse, mentions of preganancy, mentions of cheating.

a/n : this was random ehehe...

summary : your friend is positivly pregnant and after she announced to her husband, she came to you to deliver the news AND the pregnancy test... but what if she forgot about the test, left it there, and then she told you to prank Luke?

-------

Why did you get in this mess... Your friend barged in yours and Lukes shared apartment to say shes pregnant with the test in her hand, tells you the story how she noticed it, selfied with you, updated her social media, and then left.... without noticing she left the important test results... and now your calling her on the phone, her answer? simple

"...WAIT I DID??? HAHAHHAH I DIDNT KNOW- wait Luke is living with you right??? HOW ABOUT YOU TRY TO PRANK HIM???HAHHAHA im so smart! dont worry about the results! ill explain that its all MY FAULT if it gets bad! hes supposed to be home in the night right? you just said that! ill get the test results tommoro-" as she was about to continue her 'beautiful idea' the door opens...

"im home~ y/n~ hehehe! It finished quickly this time! now more time to spend with you~" he comes in the apartment with a big cheerful smile.

and your just to stunned to speak while your friend say "goodluck imma mute and hear in silence! hhihihi!" and mutes her end on the call.

But now your just frozen and speechless of what you should do... you shouldnt do-

"hm? what are you doing?" Luke asks from behind you a few steps away from the door with an innocent face...

'well- im stupid! this prank should be fine~' you thought but you really dont know what to say as he takes slow steps closer and you standing there frozen.

"hey did you hear me? you okay?" he asks getting worried

and your worried too becuz you dont know how this is going to end, but still, you are STUPID and you want to see his reaction. but still your scared

"l-luke- I-i- " your stuttering so much that it doesnt sound like an act, BECUZ IT ISNT your scared (IM SCARED TOO), and now your hands are shaking too...

and then the test dropped "hm? you dropped something" he then bows down to pick it up, and examine it, but then he realizes what it is...

"what?" his face turns dark with emotions of nervousness, fear, and then a tinge of anger comes up.

"what is this? why do you have this? what happened? can you explain..." he says with a dark expression fuming anger but you could see sadness in his face.

"i- its not what you think-" he then grabs your shoulder, the test now on the table.

"who was it?" he stares in you dead serious

you were getting scared and panicked "i-its really not that! i wouldnt" you are actually quite pained now that you think the first conclusion was you cheating, you want to cry but then you feel him embrace you...

"w-what?" confused you throw him a question.

"im sorry... im sorry i couldnt do anything..." he says with a little crack in his voice as if hes trying to hold on to a cry

"what do you mean?" you ask confusingly

"i-im sorry you had to face that... can you tell me who did it? ill make sure theyll pay for what theyve done to you. We never did it, and you sometimes come home late these days, when and where did it happen? its ok, you dont have to tell me now-" "w-wait!" you cut him off

"h-huh?? im sorry did i say something wrong??" "n-no thats not it! i-"

"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH" you hear a loud laughfrom your phone.

"s-sorry i couldnt hold it! you to are so cute! WTF??? cant believe my friends are so innocent!! rather than saying y/n cheated, you concluded that she was harrased! AAAAAAAAKH SO CUTE- I SWEAR I SHIP THIS. NOW get married." Your friend giggled while the victims of her 'creativity' are too frozen.

"w-wait? so what exactly happened?? i think i got something wrong..." Luke says confused.

"Ah! right! so heres the thing..." your friend then explains and right after her explanation, her husband called her so she ended the call.

you two exhaled a deep sigh after she ended the call.

"hehehehe i thought you were saying who did i cheat on you with..." you giggle remembering what happened

"hm?? why would you suggest that? ofc you wont do that to me, and plus i trust you sooo much! i wouldnt even think youd cheat on me! hm hm!" he huffs out

you giggled "ofc i wont do that! ive prepared aome snack and i planned a movie! so? want to have indoors date?" you grin at him

"of course i do!" he hugs you and picks you up, bringing you to the couch.

"thank you for trusting me so much, Luke. I love you" you say with a genuine smile as you gaze at his eyes.

"mhm, i love you too" he says before he captures your lips into a kiss full of affection.

'its real. the most comfortable place where i belong is definitely in your arm'

-------

Well this finished earlier than I expected, i guess I got fired up (ㆁωㆁ). Welp enjoy!

[doctorofmagic]

My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.

~ long post under the cut ~

A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.

Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.

What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.

Fine, let’s begin.

What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?

No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.

Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE

I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.

And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”

GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.

So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.

And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.

Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.

Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.

I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.

BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH

Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.

He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.

Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN

AND THEN HE

AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN

AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME

AND SHE KEEPS DYING

AND THE MUSIC

AND HIS VOICE

AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED

HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY

AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY

I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*

Apparently, not.

And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?

This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.

Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.

And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.

PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.

Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).

And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.

Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.

And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.

And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.

Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.

Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)

Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.

Shmebulock???????????

AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????

The grasp this man is holding on me right now...

Some of you will understand. I’m with you.

And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.

Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL

And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.

Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)

Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.

And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.

I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.

Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY

So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?

Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH

Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR

Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.

I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.

And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)

I can fix him...

This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)

And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK

AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.

Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.

The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.

And this is where my soul left my body.

This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.

This... this was brutal to watch. Really.

What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.

I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW

This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.

Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.

[dystovian]

Could you do Bucky Barnes or Loki with “You are love in its best form.” Or “Let. Her. Go”

The Best Form of Love

Summary: in which a confession is whispered in the small doorway of a library.

Pairing: Loki/Reader

A/N: 😩 yes! set in a world where loki doesn’t die bc wtf 😁👍

The first time you met him, you didn’t speak. No, you barely even looked at each other, because with one look you knew you were unable to handle him. Yes, you totally could take him in a fight, you were confident in that. But his first words to you had you red from head to toe, goosebumps rolling over your body.

“Why, you’ve got a smile on you, don’t you now?” Simple quote, really, it was. But the way he delivered it, the way he carried himself really did not help your case. By the gods, you were truly fascinated by him, this God, so truly and utterly reeled in.

Months had passed, and you barely spoke since then, cocky remarks thrown here, more comments about you thrown there. And, without fail, they got you every time.

“You read, too? You’ve been made for me, darling.” Your grip on the book tightened, and you glanced up at him before quickly shutting the book, but you stopped yourself, you weren’t to run away this time. So you stood your ground, only to quickly cover your face with one hand in hopes to hide the blush that escaped you.

He grinned, seeing his gentle hand reach to grasp the book from you as your other hand covered the other part of your face, almost as if to shove the blush down. My gods, you were truly perfect, he thought.

“I...thank you, Loki. But I’m simply doing research, it’s nothing! Really.” You nodded, clasping your hands together as you stood. What a mistake though, as you were simply just too close to him, nose almost touching his chest.

“Well, you truly looked great doing it! You’re passionate about this topic, no?” Holding the book with his hands, he lifted it with one, and shook it gently.

“Yes, I guess I am.” A nod, once again.

“Right, if you don’t mind, why don’t you tell me about it?” He laughed softly, and moved swiftly to sit beside where you just were, patting the bench and grinning. These little meetings occurred mostly every week, with an occasional empty library due to busy schedules.

But, then he stopped coming, you heard not a peep from him during meetings, not once did he lean your way and murmur something about how Steve should get that stick out of his ass. Not once, did he bump into you in the halls, and laugh when you would stutter. Not once, did he compliment you. You were terrified, rightfully so. Had you done something to upset him? Or perhaps, he’d grown tired of the little thing you were having, and decided to toss you aside? It’s not the first time that’s happened, and you cursed yourself for letting yourself get so attached.

Then, the next week. He was completely gone, you almost cried when Natasha told you he and Thor had just left for Asgard for a few months. You nodded, thanking her for informing you, knowing you wouldn’t have heard it from anybody else. For the next few months, they walked on eggshells around you, gently speaking to you during breakfast, and even offering to skip sparring time with you, which you found odd. It’s not like he insulted you before he left, tore your heart out and stomped on it. No, you were just mad, he couldn’t have said anything, perhaps explained himself? Or, no, maybe he should have apologized, because there was no way you would let someone do that to you. Right?

And then, he was back, and he was acting like nothing had ever happened. It infuriated you, it really did. How could he, all this time you had suffered within your thoughts, thinking he hated you. And he waltzes back in to your daily routine, slips in a compliment, and expects you to just giggle, and be okay with it. No.

“We need to talk.” You said, arms crossed as you blocked him from leaving the library.

“Well, by all means, darling, go right ahead.” He smirked, clasping his hands together as he waited. He paused, face falling for a second when he realized you barely even flinched at the pet name, not a single dash of red appeared under your eyes. Lord, he was in some deep shit, huh?

“Want to explain the whole disappearance stunt you pulled? Ignoring me, acting like I’m not even there, and then ditching Earth the second you see the opportunity? What am I, disposable? Well, I’m not, and if you think you can continue this little thing you’ve got going you’re terribly mistaken.” Letting it out was truly a weight lifted off your shoulders, you should have confided in somebody while he was gone and maybe your time alone would have been less stressful.

“Wh- I. What? No, no no no, I promise, you’ll never be disposable, I can assure you, that I’d never toss you assid-“

“But that’s the thing, Loki. You already did! You barely even acknowledged me the week or two before you left, it’s like we didn’t even know each other! I thought you hated me.” The last part really slipped out, you’d rather spend a day with Ultron than ever admit an insecurity to somebody. Your hands covered your face as you shook your head. “Look, just drop it, ok? I’m just gonna go-“

“No. No you aren’t. I won’t let you leave this library thinking I hated you, or could ever hate you in the first place. Darling, you showed me nothing but compassion, and kindness from the day we first met. Gods, I think if I ever showed hatred toward you I might as well let my father punish me for eternity. I can’t stand you hurt.”

“Then why, why did you ignore me like that?”

“I was trying to work up the courage to tell you something. And every time I looked at you, I cowered away. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at you for very long. I was terrified.”

“Scared? Loki, I promise, you can tell me anything, I wouldn’t judge you, not a bit.” You were shocked, you were never one to judge someone, so why was he so frightened?

“And I wouldn’t doubt that about you for a second,” he chuckled, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear with one hand, and cupping your cheek with the other. “You’re so kind, you are love in its best form. And I love you.”

“Oh! Oh, wow. You love me? ” Maybe your brain was a bit slow to catch up to things, this definitely wasn’t your most graceful moment. But wow, he loved you? Oh man, all this time you were yelling and fussing at him and all he wanted to do was confess. Now you felt bad. He pressed a thumb into the creases on your forehead in an attempt to both ease your worries and bring you back to earth.

“Don’t fret. I understand if you don’t feel the same, really, I can get why. So, if you’ll excuse me...” You pulled him back to you and hugged him, you would not let him leave thinking you didn’t love him. So you said it right back, your hands gripping the back of his shirt, and smiling into his chest.

[dastardlydandelion]

Fanfic Writer asks 10 and 15?

anonymoose friend! i answered these under the cut bc i ended up rambling a whole lot. i'm sorry. i start typing and i get distracted on my way to the point, and then the context needs context, so i often wind up a lil long-winded. 😅

10) top 5 fics by kudos or reads?

top five by kudos:

1) flos primula: ahh, yes. my entry into st. the fic i had no idea so many ppl were going to enjoy. the fic that scared me when i realized how many ppl had looked at it, how many eyes had seen it. but i am so happy they did! @foxgirlontherun told me the series it became (hadn't planned to write beyond one fic) was one of their favorites. that was one of the most genuinely moving comments i've ever gotten on a fic. if ur reading this, pal, tysm!! i'm so glad u enjoyed it, and whenever i feel like i want to scrap the elusive fifth part that drivers me bonkers in my wip folder, i remember ur comment and refrain from opening the scrap folder. <3

2) supplicium: the gift fic i did for @keziahrain. my version of a fandom trope. took inspo from irl incident where mom-sister duo eliminated a threat. i always feel obliged to link that or anything else i take direct inspo from, lest i be accused of plagiarism...tho...is it plagiarism if it's not fiction?? also, does that look bad, does that look like i'm piggybacking off of real people's real trauma for my creative purposes?? jfc, i hope not. that's never my intent. but maybe i shouldn't...fuck, fuck, now i'm derailing from the ask and i'm not even talking abt the fic anymore. i'm sorry!! it just occurred to me as i was typing that it might look like it comes from a place of ill-intent when i draw from *real* events and upon that realization, i'm going to reflect more abt how i incorporate news going forward. err, back to the fic for a min, okay! yes! it is my second most popular fic by kudos and that's cool that a bunch of ppl enjoyed it, super flattering, but the most important thing is that my bud was happy. <3

3) periculum in mora: this is my third most popular fic by kudos, i just realized when i got this ask. wow! oh boy, this gives me mixed feelings. it was a double gift fic for @keziahrain and @lucdarling and they both left positive feedback, and i am happy they enjoyed, but in hindsight...i might've rushed it a bit? dialogue has never been my strong suit, but some of the dialogue in this is extra...bad. and some of my humor is a tad too misplaced this time, i think. the stabbing is also too similar to the previous fanfic. idk abt the pacing, either...

mm. yeah, it's. i'm not going to call it a bad fanfic bc there are things i appreciate abt it, and i think to call it "bad" would be rude to the readers who enjoyed it, and especially my buds whom it was gifted to. BUT knowing that it's my third most kudos-ed fic?!? rly changes my perspective of it and makes its flaws stand out that much more. 😬

i wish i could go back and rewrite this one. spend more time on it. talk to a rubber ducky. i should've polished it up better. balanced the various elements better. reworked the stabbing scene (this was partly too much directed by the scrapped lamina's skeleton).

my one comfort abt its flaws, however, is that another user (someone called LaceDegenerate, so!! ck reference, yes, i'm with u, friend, i'm also in karate soap hell) expressed interest in a sequel. and i said i would deliver. so hopefully in the sequel i can avoid the mistakes i made in this one, and i can write it strong/solid enough to make up for the previous missteps.

4) valeo: so, this was a prompt. it's. it's...it sure is a fanfic. i'd had a crossover in mind for a sequel but tbvh the wip isn't going great. and then i told LilChicken i would do a third part with a sibling reunion, but. on reread, i just...irdk why this fic is my fourth most kudos-ed fic. i reread it and wtf is this dialogue?? i also think it might be a bit too much on the soft/squishy side?? is it saccharine??? i don't want to be negative, but i'm personally just. NOT satisfied with my work in this one. well, there is one positive, i enjoyed writing max & susan moving out, moving on. it's not my personal pick of my fics at all, but i'm glad that there are others who found joy in it.

5) flos fulmināre: ooh, this one! the fourth part of primis tenebris flos. cool, one that i like too. 😊

yes, okay, now i can stop sounding like a drabby crabby bc i have positive thoughts on this one and i understand how it's my fifth most kudos-ed fic. susan & billy & a lil max too! soft family bonding as billy quietly (crankily) battles sepsis. micro-dose of neil being neil. references to the meat spider that completely fly over susan's head. a touch of humor that isn't too misplaced, i don't think?? idk. i like this one. it feels warm to me without being like, saccharine. this is theoretically the one the series ends on and it would've worked just fine, but i have a monster wip of a fifth part, but anyway. yay! i'm happy this fic found its audience.

15) words, phrases, mannerisms or scenes i tend to use a lot? oh. yeah. *deep sigh*

this is one of my biggest flaws as a writer. i'm formulaic to start, i think in part bc i've drawn so much influence from slashers, but it isn't even just writing, uh, murder a lot, it's more, it's. mm. rly found myself in a repetitive rut and i think a few different factors contribute to this.

first, it's my tenancy to retreat into my comfort zone. i know i can write gore, so if i'm stuck on smth hard, or i'm having trouble with certain parts of a longer story, instead of doing my best to tackle the challenges, i retreat to the comfort zone to do what i'm familiar with: the gore. i know i can't mess up gore the way i could mess up two 14 yr olds on the run in the 80s. bc i have extensive experience writing gore. i do not have extensive experience writing 14 yr olds on the run in the 80s. so the next thing u know, i have 10 different gore fics that only differentiate so much from each other (like slasher movies), and the longer and/or more distinct, more challenging stories gather dust. bc i took the easy way out and spent time on smth i know how to write, taking time away from doing the hard work and honing my focus on smth i need to learn how to write.

secondly-- and this is a bit of a new flaw for me --desire to crowd please. i've noticed myself default to familiar settings and rely on injury related plot/device, and well. i think it's bc that's what got me in the door in my current fandom (that rly isn't mine), and smth that i've received as prompts, so. yk, it's like, i feel that's what what little audience i've garnered wants/enjoys from me. it worked, it was the basis of my presence here, so it's like i'm constantly trying to recreate what worked...but now it's more like a pattern i struggle to break out of, smth i leaned too far into upon a perception of what readers want from me. i've fallen into yet another kind of redundancy in the process, prioritizing guaranteed hits over developing literary flexibility. this isn't to say i'm against giving the ppl what they want-- it's just, i shouldn't do that to the point of risking redundancy and stagnancy.

thirdly, i noticed there is one running theme in all my stabbing scenes, and. i. have more or less written the same stabbing scene in THREE DIFFERENT FICS. and this is an especially glaring redundancy that drives me fucking bananas bc like. at least in the previous two noted redundancies of mine (while certainly obstacles i need to overcome to improve in any kind of meaningful way) the similarities are on the general side. the gore in famelicus is not the same gore in vanidicus; the first is pure gore porn thruout, the second presents itself in a simultaneous act of survival and betrayal. flos primula and decretum are both conversations in hospital rooms, but they serve different purposes; the former is abt susan attempting to foster some kind of closeness with her stepson, the latter prompted by max fearing the loss of closeness with her brother.

but. i have used the same stabbing scenario (with very little differentiation) in supplicium, si vis amari, ama, and periculum in mora!! HOW DID I DO THIS??

why didn't i notice how similar they were?? i feel like kicking myself in the ass.

this is prolly not a mistake i would've made if my old lil writing group wasn't on the rocks, but that's neither here nor there. i mean, i even cut susan's palm up all three times and like. that's not out of the norm in stabbings, but! for fuck's sake, i could've made it her finger one time instead!! or had the blade break off during one of the stabbings for more differentiation, bc that's another thing that isn't out of the norm to occur (esp if we're using kitchen knives). those scenes are just too similar. it's embarrassing. it's almost recycling the same story with only slight differences, as if i sought to plagiarize myself. 😳

whew. okay, this is supposed to be like, a fun fanfic ask game, so i don't want to get too negative. also, negative self-talk isn't rly productive?? but like, neither is pretending nothing's wrong??? ugh. it's such a double-bind. too much negativity brings u down and impedes production bc u feel crappy, but pretending nothing's wrong isn't helpful either, bc then that's just denial!!

i'm just. frustrated with my writing lately. especially with my redundancies. it feels like i'm in a rut. i compare some of my wip and more recent stories to some of my older ones and they just look hollow, like i'm intentionally parodying myself and reducing the quality of everything from the characters to the atmosphere in the process. 😞

[mikasa-peg-the-world]

//SNK 138 SPOILERS//

I have always been on the team “Mikasa should be the one to stop Eren”. I didn’t want necessarily for Mikasa to be the one to kill him, but since Eren has launched his genocide, “stopping Eren” would certainly mean for Mikasa to deal the final blow.

I was ok with that, and I still am somehow, since it was obviously where Mikasa was heading to and it could have been the apogee of her character development. However, if chapter 138 leaks are true, I would be very disappointed with the way Isayama has handled the whole thing, in particular with Mikasa giving back her scarf to Eren, then killing him, then kissing his decapitate head (wtf, big yiiiiiiikes, why always so cringe yams). OF COURSES, leaks are always partial, we don’t have yet access to Mikasa’s thoughts and even if the leaker is reliable there is still the possibility that those leaks are fake. I know it is too early to draw conclusion but since it is a great occasion to discuss about Mikasa I wanted to elaborate a bit on all this mess and the shit storm that will certainly arise from it.

In the first fanfic I published in 2017 (pre chapter 90), I wrote this:

Basically, after a slow build-up, Mikasa is realizing that Eren is not this perfect figure she thought he was but that he has a dark part in him. He is the one that awaked her strength but also the one who make a murderer out of her. She is finally getting a full insight of who Eren is, the good in him, the less good and the tragic. Then, she proceeds to tell Eren that she loves him (finally!), she kiss him on the cheek, and wraps the scarf around his neck. But she also tells him that she is not cold anymore and that from now she has to move on and to live her own life (finally!).

It sounds simple right? So why Yams couldn’t deliver??? Why did we get big yikes Mikasa kissing Eren decapitated head and not Mikasa’s long overdue character development????

Mikasa’s had to face multiple challenges as a character. At the beginning, she was afraid to lose the people close to her and, as a result of this fear, was overprotective and could let her emotions take the best of her. She was stubborn and had difficulties to trust others. She was insecure about her relationships, especially with Eren, and had difficulties to express her emotions.

Mikasa has greatly changed since, this post is not here to say that Mikasa never get development. But most of this development didn’t get a big spotlight or were left unfinished. This final arc was the perfect one to give Mikasa some closure. Her relationships with Eren was again in the spotlight, thus she could have processed the complex feelings she has for him. All the potential was here: I think of the flashback Mikasa had during one of her headache where she was revisiting her kidnapping and perhaps realizing that from the beginning Eren always had a darker part in him (I said “perhaps” since we never come back to this scene and this is all extrapolation for my part). I also think of this scene where Eren confronted Mikasa about her feelings for him. 

There was the potential to write a strong and engaging development for Mikasa. She would not have denied her feelings for Eren but understanding who he is as a person. She would have chosen to follow her duty as a soldier and to save the world. Isayama could have shown this, not just some clues up and there, but a real focus on Mikasa and her development. He didn’t do that. Instead we only got Mikasa hesitation for dozens and dozens of chapters. One chapter ago she was still not ready to let Eren go and now she is the one to kill him? Some steps are clearly missing.  

Mikasa should be the one to kill Eren, for sure, but I think it is only good for her character, worthy and truly impactful if there is a real development behind. And sadly this cannot be done in one chapter, you won’t change my mind.

Let’s come back to Mikasa kissing Eren decapitate head. This is so gross. Mikasa couldn’t tell a word to Eren when he confronted her about her feelings, and she would do that to his body? What was that for???? The only thing I could see to explain this mess is Isayama wanting to shock his public. It worked but at what cost? This is just cheap shock value at the expense of character development. All of this sounds like GOT jonerys ending, and oh boy it ain’t smelling good.

We still need context obviously so I won’t develop further. To all Mikasa stans, Mikasa has an amazing potential as a character, and if you are (rightly) disturbed by this ending this is totally fine, just go write fanfictions and have fun. To all Mikasa haters, don’t be mad at her or call her a “yandere”: be mad at the writing.