#just performing all of the time and i knowwwww it's for nothing and no one's looking so why am i doing it

[macroglossus]

i know this is like. ironic i guess to say but i think that my habit of overanalyzing and picking apart all of my actions and reactions to everything and pathologizing the mostly innocuous/unremarkable things i do has really just like. made it so it doesn't even feel like the things i do belong to me so much as they belong to someone who's performing in the way they assume someone would do if given x set of circumstances and y set of recurrent behaviors. or something. do i ever really feel sadness without the conscious action of "here is what sadness might feel like, here is where sadness might feel in the body, am i actually sad or am i just parodying what i've seen people do when they're sad and i don't even realize it." just feel like i'm observing and commenting on what i do instead of actually doing anything of note

[the-better-rainbow-unikitty]

scrolling down on your blog I found the LOVE RUN ASK GAME and I must KNOWWWWW!!!

1.What song from Love Run did you first fall in love with?

11.What is your favorite performance by Madeleine?

12.What is your favorite performance by Joey?

14.What's your favorite ending of a song in the album?

I know I'm, like, kinda late to the game but you have to answer lol I wanna know

Ok wow, thanks for including the questions so I don't have to look them up!

1. What song from Love Run did you first fall in love with?

That was definitely Pray. It got me good 😁

11. What's your favourite performance by Madeleine?

"The cracks you made I filled with mortar, a broken pot can still hold water. Symphonies and sweat and sex mean nothing when you are obsessed with sin and soil and strength and song and all the words that came out wrong and him" in Pray. ❤️

AS WELL AS

"I don't know how to reach you when you get like this, I've been waiting for you to come home" in Little Miss Why So. Breaks my heart ❤️ (also the "yeah, but why?"s)

BUT I also love "Tear me up and burn me up and rip me up and leave your hand on the wall as you go" and "I cannot find the words to keep you" in New York Torch Song.

And "don't be yellow-bellied" and "Where is go, ma? Where's the vodka?" in Not Yet/Love Run.

Aaaah it's impossible to choose just one, she sings everything so wonderfully!!! (I also constantly have to remind myself that this is about performance, NOT line, otherwise the answer would stretch on and on and on)

12. What's your favourite performance by Joey?

Oh boy. Oh no....

"Because love does not exist here, in this garden there's no feeling, and you say the words so often that I barely know the meaning" in Elsa's song. Something in the way he sings the word barely makes me lose my mind. So that's it - my favourite performance by Joey is that one word.

Then there is also his performance in Two Minutes. The whole song.

And of course there is "That youuu, youuu can't sleep" in Not Yet/Love Run.

14. What's your favourite ending of a song in the album?

Not Yet/Love Run has the most amazing ending!!

So that's it, thanks for coming to my ted talk and feel free to ask again nex time I guess lol

[aelaer]

First: welcome home & I hope you get the sleep you need to get back into your routines! Second: it's Feb. 2, a significant day to our beloved Stephen Strange. I know you're exhausted right now, and the timing is poor--but perhaps when you're up to, you could write a little one-shot about his feelings all these years later (is it 2022 or 2023?) on the anniversary of the accident that changed his life forever. Can't think of anyone better suited to write it! xx

This was sent a year ago but last month I planned to have it out for Feb 2nd, hah.

For canon, he comes back in 2023 in what I think was likely after Feb 2nd, so realistically he can address the anniversary again in 2024. It'd feel like only 3 years for him while, in actuality, it'd been 8. But when it comes to his experienced time versus actual passing time, Stephen's pretty messed up without the Decimation already (I'm not sure how I feel about the name of the "Blip" yet.)

The prompter also requested first person after I asked for more details, and I haven't ever written Stephen in first person so I thought I'd give it a go. I know first person isn't everyone's cup of tea, but if you're willing to give it a shot, call me very obliged.

Warning for canon compliance :P

——————

Staring Back In Time Rating: G (well, other than language)

An entry from the memoirs of Doctor Stephen Strange, Earth's Sorcerer Supreme, during his time as the Master of the New York Sanctum, several months after the Battle of Earth against Thanos:

February 2, 2024

Calendars don't mean as much as they used to. Once upon a time my life was ruled by the calendar. Consultation here, surgery there, society dinner over the weekend. Dates were important and generally set without change once marked down.

It doesn't work that way as a sorcerer. I keep a schedule, of course, one that marks down classes with apprentices and adepts and meetings with other Masters, never mind all the business outside of Kamar-Taj. But I learned early on that these set times shifted occasionally to accommodate the emergencies that the order often had to quash down, and it became obvious that as a Master, my schedule was more of a hopeful guideline than anything set in stone. Flexibility was a necessity.

Ever since my return to the living, keeping anything resembling a set schedule has been more of a laughable dream. Earth being the center of two universe-changing, Infinity Stone-powered events in a matter of hours did serious damage to the fabric woven about reality across the planet, and the Masters of the Mystic Arts are going to be dealing with the multidimensional repercussions for years to come. Nothing is predictable in my day-to-day anymore.

My relationship with time was fucked the moment I confronted Dormammu, so I can't say it's a large surprise that calendars have become mostly irrelevant.

If someone had told me that I, Doctor Stephen Strange, a man of order and precision, would learn to live with such unpredictability, I would have laughed in their face. But I'm not the man I once was (and thank God for that; that man was a dick). However, it's also because of this change that I didn't realize the day until it was nearly done.

I was reviewing my schedule for tomorrow, which I had set up on Google Calendar (Google had, naturally, survived the Decimation just fine, but like most other non-vital services, had many of their upcoming products delayed for years. But their email and calendar services continue to work great). Tomorrow's a Saturday, which means nothing in my world. My work continues on. The threats on our reality care little for weekends or holidays.

Still, it was only during this review, shortly before I planned to retire for the night, that I realized that today is February 2nd.

I won't ever forget the day, of course. It was both three years ago and eight years ago—or perhaps many lifetimes ago would be a more accurate description, though I lost track of time in both of my major journeys with the Time Stone. One day I'll write about them. Not now, but one day. Both memories are still too fresh.

The memory of the day of the accident, though? It feels both like yesterday and centuries ago. Some parts of the day are engraved in my memory like a film. I remember the last surgery down to the individual conversations. Christine's "thank you". Nick's watch. The cling of the bullet as I dropped it onto the tray.

I can remember my last conversation with Billy, too, in the car. Every damned word. But the drive itself is fuzzy, even in my head with my memory. I remember it began to rain during the drive, not beforehand, and I know the road was narrow and two-laned. I know I avoided a direct route to avoid traffic, driving first into Jersey before heading north and crossing the river again. But the rest is forgotten to time, or perhaps to trauma.

I was told that Billy was the first to call 9-1-1 as he heard the tearing of metal and shattering of glass before the connection was lost. The driver I hit—I learned much later that she escaped with only minor injuries—called a couple minutes later. But it was out in the mountains, dark, and raining. It took them hours to find me and extract me from the car.

Funny. Never thought I'd ever write about one of the worst days of my life like this. But I was told early on that personal journals were encouraged for all who stay in Kamar-Taj. Something about its therapeutic benefits was mentioned at some point. I only picked up the practice once I learned that each gifted journal was inaccessible to others until the time of their death, and after I mastered the art of enchanting a pen to write the words I spoke. Unfortunately this journal appeared to others after the Decimation, but Wong has reassured me that no one read it and it has since disappeared again from public view. 

Still, the point is that, one day, someone just might read this—account of a man who was part of an effort to save the universe. And it is difficult for a reader to judge my actions if they don't know how I was the one who ruined my life. My driving was reckless and stupid. I was running a little late, but it wouldn't have mattered in the long run had I been fifteen, twenty minutes, thirty minutes late. Not really.

Then again, I suppose it would have. I certainly wouldn't be here right now.

One could say that the accident and everything that has followed is some sort of penance for my hubris as a surgeon. I enjoy my newer abilities—quite a bit—but the responsibility that has come with them has not come without its own hardships and sacrifices. Perhaps the worst of the sacrifices were the ones I was unable to prevent others from performing, all for the sake of the universe.

Those sacrifices were made willingly, but I cannot help but feel responsible for them, regardless. 

During my first winter again returned to the living, when the days grew colder and my hands ached in the bad weather, and the only thoughts to accompany the pain were bitter, another thought was born. I was tempted, for the first time in a long time, to give it all up, restore my fine motor skills with channeled magic, and go back to the world I once knew, for a life much, much easier than this one is now. Even with all the troubles that had cropped up as people tried to reorganize a world that doubled in size overnight, it was miles away from the difficulties we were facing in Kamar-Taj.

Their sacrifices—the fates I pushed so many people towards—quelled the idea quickly. It did little to ease the physical pain or sting of guilt, but it lifted the temptation. And ever since that day, I have considered the situation and I don't think I will ever be tempted by the idea of giving up my duties for an easier, pain-free life again.

And I suppose that counts for something.

——————

(Hey look, my interest in geography's leaked again.)

I've always wondered where Stephen actually crashed mostly because New York City is *flat* and those mountains were *very much not flat*. I figured out the bridge that he crossed to get out of the city (there are like, 21 bridges that lead out of Manhattan) was the George Washington Bridge, and it leads to New Jersey—but that's not necessarily useful because it can quickly turn back into New York state if you turn north. We also know he crashed down into a body of water, which *might* be the Hudson, but also might not, but that the body of water is to his left, which narrows it down a bit. But again, not much. And the site of his crash is so dark in the videos and screenshots that I can barely tell what's on it. It looks like a bridge and some industrial building, so the Hudson's a good guess, but otherwise? Well, basically I turned on the topography part of Google maps and started searching.

The 202 on the east side of the river just north of Peekskill (again in New York) matches the movie road's windiness, height, and closeness to the river, and even has a bridge that could be just to the north of the crash site. Unfortunately the railing's off and there's no industrial building thingy by the bridge. It also makes the route out of the city via George Washington Bridge make no sense. Like the Stark Industries area in LA in the films, it's probably a completely fictional landscape.

But as I wasn't able to find a better locale that was still close enough to NYC to direct an emergency helicopter to, my headcanon for this scene is that he left via George Washington bridge to avoid some major traffic or something, crossed the river via the 287 a bit further up north to get back to the east side of the river, then went up the 9 to the 202. Unless someone who lives in the area can find the actual road he was driving (if it's real), this is what I'm gonna go with. (And if someone DOES please let me knowwwww). Funny enough, I don't see him getting led to *his* hospital totally unrealistic, because he'd need a very talented orthopedic surgeon with a specialty in hands to come in, and generally speaking a patient can be helicoptered to another hospital where such a surgeon is available. If Stephen is working at the Metro-General, it's likely they can afford a large cast of talented surgeons. So I don't think Nick was necessarily the lead surgeon in his case, just one of many necessary surgeons.

[kseniazhuk]

top 5 Russia and I wanna vs Historyja majho žyccia

oooooooh nice! thanks for the questions, julija

let’s start with the russian entries (i’m sorry if i rank your faves low hh)

honorable mention: scream (it’s really massively growing on me now, but it wasn’t quite what i wanted or expected and i don’t know if that’s why i don’t like it as much as yatoo... i still really need sergey to do well though, and it’s a powerful composition and sergey’s voice :000 is just soo powerful)

5. 2014: tolmachevy sisters - shinei can’t put my finger on why i like this, but i really like the melody and their harmonies, and idk it’s just the melody i like ?? i’m so sad that they got booed, like, i get why people are protesting against russia’s invasion of ukraine and lgbt laws but,,,, there are a million other opportunites to draw awareness to that that aren’t booing two seventeen year old girls who did nothing wrong :( 

4. 2015: polina gagarina - a million voicesthis song is just so warm and encouraging, i greatly prefer the russian version though, but it’s just so uplifiting and polina absolutely elevates that!

3. sergey lazarev - you are the only onehe....yeah, he’s my favorite singer who’s represented russia in eurovision, and one of my fave russian artists (if not favorite), but this just isn’t my favorite song by him? it’s super catchy and has that retro eurovision kinda vibe but it doesn’t just only sound dated or cheesy, it’s feelgood, poppy and dramatic all in once (and the performance really is on another level,,,sergey how what is your secret)

2. 1994: youddiph: vechniy strannikthe russian language really adds to this for me, and it’s such a unique and memorable song for me

1. 2009: anastasia prikhodko - mamoit feels, um, interesting to have a song by an artist who doesn’t even perform in russia anymore as my first place, well, but this is the sort of russian music i like? i can’t specify exactly what, it’s the vibe, genre, mood...overall feeling?  (and wow my top two songs don’t have any english lyrics, interesting)

just putting some soft sergey here

also question 2: i wanna or historyja majho žyccia

always historyja majho žyccia - i just talked about how it’s my favorite eurovision song ever and just one of my all time favorite songs; i do think i wanna is a really catchy and fun song and definitely the best that year (in my opinion) and i will keep defending it and continue saying it deserved its victory bc it’s a song that cheers me up and i like marie n and her personality and a lot of her other songs a lot but...it’s just not on the same level :DD it sounds so weird but naviband are like completely incomparable with anything else for me, and idkkkkkkkk why but their music is just on another level for me, everything just sounds so...right and while i wanna is fun and a song i really like it doesn’t come close ? i remember when i was obsessed with i wanna, but it never was the same thing? i still really like it though but i don’t knowwwww how to explain ahhhhh sorry if this isn’t very coherent

[driftovertheedge]

watching trinity’s first debute stage and having some Thoughts:

their live vocal’s improved so so much !!! (not surprised about porsche and jackie tho their mask singer perfomance’s already made me shooked so thanks)

truly deeply WISH jackie’d worn the all-white lace/feather outfit with the glitter eye makeup today. am i still obssessing over that look of his? maybe so djkslajdka idk maybe it’s the genderfuck vibe he exudes wearing it or maybe he’s pretty and i’m vain 🤷‍♀️

james’ red hair 👀 3/4 of them have gone through the red hair phase i see anyway as long as it’s not the dreadlocks..........

porsche did the fucking Jump.......without stumbling or stepping on james and third........and started rapping right away without a hitch...........okay !!!

still scared someday he would accidentally kick someone in the face on stage tho dude keeps swinging his arms and legs around dsajlsa

Sweaty Highlighter djalhfjal someone give them a towel also what did james say after performing haters got nothing? he mentioned porsche a few times i think? 

jackie and third’s vocal in IOU *chef kiss* plus i’m a sucker for porsche’s slow/chill rapping *insert the i can’t get enough of this dude meme here but like who’s surprised not me* and his lil move when james sang “when ur love ur love is all around” uwu bitch

lmao third said it was hot so they took off their thick ass coats to change into new outfits for jazzy and to do a lil fanservice and the crowd obvi went crazy but BUT the funniest thing to me is why were james and third in tshirts while porsche and jackie in tank tops??? and why were jackie the only one wearing white while the rest in black??????

not digging jazzy yet but james sounds good !!! also porsche smoothly sitting on that armchair like pls u’re attractive we get it we knowwwww

hidden track !!! like this is what i’ve been talking about !!! jackie’s voice is like the most pleasant thing ever and he makes it look effortless too =(((( also third’s high notes always sound better live hmmmm anyways probably my fav track

bts stuffs? alright !!!

seeing jackie in that outfit again............................................i’m gonna combust into a gender envy mess bye also poor porsche getting baked in the fire studio

lmao at the mc telling porsche he sounds like a dad (a fan was fainting i think? since they all looked quite concerned. so he probably said something about that)

TWILIGHT? TWILIGHT PORSCHE???

ohhhh that’s their fanclub name lmao i thought for a sec he was talking about the saga...........

ooohhh their mics are color coordinated to their assigned “elements”

the chejack shippers going wild lmao but like their image/style/even talking voices are polar opposites so i guess it’s understandable

porsche did the eyebrow thing pls pipe down sir djskaljdka

oops this is way too long so i guess i’m just waiting for some sort of translation and rewatch 

btw the notion of being in my 20s and stanning a thai tpop group/boyband is still kinda amusing to me but like i love them i doooo <333

[mysticalmistake]

I didn't understand very well if the requests are open just for Christmas themed hcs or not, so I'm sorry if this is wrong, but can you write a headcanon/scenario/imagine for RFA finding out MC cannot bear children? Thank you!

Can you tell by the way they worded this I took forever to answer it I did a lot of research for this because I wanted actual conditions, not just vague reasons. So all these scenarios are real conditions! Which also means this took a while and there’s not a whole lot of incurable reasons omgThis is taking place after everyone’s good ending so spoilers, hence why it’s all under the cutI’m realizing the lead up to a lot of them were too similar so that’s why Seven’s has a bit of an odd cut. Also, there probably is their actual cannon thoughts about kids, but I’m writing this from my own personal perspective. Hope you enjoy regardless!~Mod L

Yoosung

“Honeyyyyy~! Where are you?”A smile instantly spread as you hear the door close behind Yoosung. “I’m in the kitchen!” “Oooooh,” Yoosung walked in the doorway, sniffing the air. “What’s that I smell?”“Kimchi stew!” You proudly announced, stirring it around in the pan. “That sounds so good,” He hugged you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. “A pretty large dog came in today. He was adorable but he was a handful. I’m so tired.”“Okay you big baby,” you giggled. “There’s only room for one in this house”.Yousung rubbed your belly, chuckling softly. “How’s our little guy doing?”“She is doing great,” you smiled, moving with Yoosung to pour the soup into bowls.“I still think it’s gonna be a boy. He’s gonna look just like his papa,” he laughed separating from you to get glasses out. You set the table and sat down with him, and the conversation continued as you ate.“We have to tell everyone else in the RFA first! It’s not fair only Jaehee knows,” Yoosung pouted.“I’m sorry!” You giggled. “I don’t have a sister and I needed female support. Besides, we need to tell our families”.“But I need to tell Zen! He won’t believe we’re having a baby before he even got a proper girlfriend”.You laughed, then flinched. You swirled the soup around in your bowl. “Did this taste weird to you?”Yoosung took another spoonful, and shook his head. “Nope! It tastes amazing sweetie.” His eyes looked up, quickly turning concerned. “Are you okay?”You shrugged, feeling uneasy. “Yeah, I guess the soup just isn’t sitting well with me. I mean, everyone always talks about their weird eating habits when they’re pregnant,” you laughed nervously, getting up to get more water. As you did so, you felt a sharp pain in your stomach. You let out a small cry as you hunched over the chair next to you, grabbing your stomach. Yoosung jumped up from his chair, running to you. “W-What’s wrong?” He held you up, and his face went white. You turned to see what he was looking at, and dread overcame you as you saw the blood in the chair you were sitting. Neither of you could say anything as Yoosung took his phone out, calling an ambulance.~“The issue stemmed from the quality of your eggs,” the doctor said softly, carefully choosing his words. You felt Yoosung hand’s tighten in yours, and look to him. His eyes were fixed on the doctor.“They’ve been damaged from a chromosomal abnormality, and unfortunately can’t sustain a pregnancy”.“I-I thought that caused by age,” you started shaking, trying comprehend the news.“Typically, but not always. You do have the choice to try again, but the chances of it being successful are very low. While it is your choice I would have to recommend against it”.You opened your mouth as if to ask more, but you couldn’t find the words. Yoosung looked at you, and the tears starting to form. “Can we have a minute?” he asked softly.“Of course,” the doctor straightened his papers, and quickly left you two alone.You couldn’t say anything before tears started flowing down your face, and Yoosung quickly embraced you. “Shhh,” he whispered, stroking your hair. He held you tightly, unsure of what to say. Once you regained your composure a bit, he gently pulled away so he could face you. “Hey, it’s okay. You know this isn’t our only option.”You sniffed, rubbing your eyes. “We don’t have to decide anything right now,” he said, gently rubbing your tears away with his thumb. “But this doesn’t mean we don’t get a family still,” Yoosung smiled as tears started forming in his own eyes. “Come on, we should probably go home”.

Zen

“I’m the hero of the play!” Zen exclaimed, jumping up onto the table in your guys’ living room. “I save my daughter from the evil, and take her home to her true love”.You giggled at his theatrical mini performance. “Okay, okay. Get off the table!”Zen laughed, hoping down and onto the couch next to you. “I’m just saying, I’m basically the best dad ever”. He laughed. He leaned his head against your shoulder, and went silent as his mind wandered. After a few minutes of flipping through tv, you faced him. “You’re so quiet babe. What are you thinking about?” He shrugged looking up at you. “What do you think about me being a dad?”You shrugged. “I haven’t been able to come to any of your practices yet. But I don’t doubt your amazing,” you giggled. “Nooo,” he replied, sitting up. “I’m talking about us! I mean, this is a fairly large production. We have plenty saved. Why don’t we try? I think a little mini version of us would be so handsome,” he laughed.You shifted around in your seat, biting your lip. “Now? Don’t you think we’re a bit too young and busy for that?”“Hmph. I don’t think so? I mean, my shows are becoming consistent. You have an amazing job that I don’t doubt has a good maternity leave policy. Why not?”“Well,” you swallowed hard. “What do you think about adopting one?”“Nah,” Zen chuckled. “I mean, I couldn’t even imagine what our baby would look like. I think I would want that.” He paused when he saw the look on your face. “What? Is that not what you want…?”“W-Well,” you coughed. “I do want it. But… I don’t think we can always get exactly what we want”.He sat up, feeling confused. “What do you mean?”“I just mean, I don’t think I can be pregnant. I would love to be, but I just don’t think it could happen,” you said, starting to tear up.“Hey, hey now,” Zen quickly took your hands, squeezing them gently. “What are you talking about?”“I-I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I can’t become pregnant. I have endometriosis. It made periods completely miserable for me. It always hurt so bad, and I couldn’t stand it,” you started to cry as you spoke. “I had tried to go on different birth controls to stop it, b-but,” you couldn’t continue as tears started streaming down your face.“No, no, no,” Zen pulled you into his arms, hugging you tight. “Don’t cry,” he whispered. “Are you just on birth control then?”You pulled away, shaking your head. “I-I had to do a surgery to make it stop. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to go everywhere to get this surgery because no one would let me because I’m still young, but I-I knew I couldn’t take it anymore…” You rubbed your eyes, and took a deep breath before looking at Zen. “It had spread to my ovaries, so they were removed. I can’t be pregnant anymore”.Zen took a moment, gently rubbing your shoulders before he could speak. “I mean, adoption isn’t really that bad of an idea”.You laughed through the tears, feeling your face getting warm. “Just a few minutes ago you didn’t want that,” you giggled. “Ehhh,” he shrugged. “I didn’t know everything going on then. Honestly, it’s not something I had really thought about before,” he explained, leaning back on the couch and bringing you with his arm. “But we have a lot of time to talk about this. We can do a little research, and hell, even if it takes ten years for us to realize it’s all a bust and we won’t have kids at all, I’ll still be with you and I’ll be happy,” he mumbled, kissing your forehead.You sniffed softly, curling up to him. “Okay. But for now, I think I just want to take a nap.”He laughed, resting his head against yours. “Okay princess”.

Jumin

You swung your legs back and forth as you sat on the edge of a hospital bed, feeling more and more impatient as time went on. You felt Jumin’s hand on yours as you signed loudly, slumping against him.“She’ll be back any moment, love,” Jumin said, raising your hand to kiss it. “I knowwwww,” you sighed. “I’m just getting so impatient”.“I’m sure she’ll be back with good news,” Jumin replied, his voice comforting you a bit. You knew what kind of news was coming, but part of you held hope that for some reason this time it would be different.“This could be the place,” Jumin suggested, almost seeming like he could tell what you were thinking. “She could bring us the news we need”.You smiled, and quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek. “How do you always know just what to say?”Jumin chuckled, sighing softly. Before he could speak, there was a soft knock on the door before it opened. You quickly straightened up, keeping your hand in Jumin’s.The doctor sat down, straightening her papers out. “Sorry about the wait,” she gave you a soft smile. “It’s not an issue,” Jumin replied politely. You’ve been with Jumin for so long you could realize he was getting as impatient as you were despite his cool tone. “Do you have any news for us?”The doctor pursed her lips, looking at her papers. You felt a growing feeling of dread as you saw her adjust in her seat, clearly uncomfortable. “Well,” she pulled out a singular paper to set on top of the rest while she spoke. “Unfortunately, I don’t believe I do. Comparing all the tests we’ve done since your initial visit, we can’t find any issues in either of you”.Jumin adjusted his tie, taking a moment before he replied. “What does that mean?”“It means a few things. Firstly, it’s a bit of good news. This means there are no problems with either of you,” she explained, “which means there’s nothing that can develop into a potentially worst issue. That being said, that also means no issues means we can’t treat it”.“You can’t find anything?” Jumin snapped at her. “We’ve been trying for years and all any of them found is nothing?”“Well Mr. Han, this isn’t uncommon,” she replied, keeping her composure through his frustration. “Between 20-30% of women who are infertile are due to unknown reasons. You can definitely continue trying and we can continue the check ups, but I don’t believe we can do anything to help”.For a second, you couldn’t feel anything as you heard Jumin speak to her. You were trying to understand what she said as their voices became faded, and before you knew it you were alone with Jumin in the room. He shook his head as he pulled out his phone. “We can find a better doctor,” he mumbled, scrolling through his contacts. “That’s ridiculous. We can find answers”. For the first time since you’ve met him, his voice seemed to shake. “Jumin. That’s the third doctor who’s said that. I don’t think we can do any better. Maybe we should just realize this is our reality”.“There has to be some way to fix it,” he shook his head. “We could always try surgery for this. We can’t just give up now”.You shook your head somberly. “No, I don’t want that. Maybe we just shouldn’t try anymore”.Jumin stood up and walked over to the sink, filling a cup with water. He took a drink before leaning against the counter, rubbing his forehead. “What do you mean?”“I don’t want surgery. I don’t want to go through all of that. And we don’t even know it’ll work. I don’t want to go through all that for it not to happen”. You put your head in your hands, feeling a pain growing. “I’m sorry,” you said softly. Jumin quickly walked back over to you, embracing you. “No, don’t be sorry,” he squeezed you tightly. He kissed your head, rubbing your back. “We have other options. We don’t even need to decide anything now”.You quickly wiped away the tears that had begun to form, and looked up at Jumin. He gave you a reassuring smile, and pressed his forehead against yours. “Can we go home?” You asked quietly. He stood up, offering his arm to help. “Of course darling. Come on”.

Jaehee

DISCLAIMER: Jaehee is bisexual. JAEHEE IS BISEXUAL. I am as well and I have no intention to erase her sexuality. But I am writing this as a male MC, or even if you’d like a trans* MC. I just feel like it would be a very easy solution if MC was infertile between two women, and honestly I just can’t find anymore incurable reasons for female infertility pls don’t yell at me

“How are you going to handle giving up coffee once you get a little one?”“I can still drink it!”“Not nearly as much as you do now,” you chuckled, pulling her closer. “I heard you’re only allowed to only have a medium cup a day”.She rolled her eyes, then sighed. “Are you sure now is a good time? I mean, they still need us at the cafe, and if we-”“Oh, our manager is great,” you chuckled. “It’s been a few months, and she’s done so well. They won’t need us!”Jaehee pouted for a moment. “Maybe, but what if something happens?”“Hey, we still got time. You won’t be pregnant tomorrow, this is just a check up to make sure it’s safe to do this. It can take a while to get pregnant anyways, so we have so much time to plan this”. Jaehee hummed as she leaned against you. “Let’s just get through today and we’ll see,” you mumbled against her head.You heard a gentle knock before the door creaked open, and the doctor came in and sat across from you. “So? How dd the tests go?”You tried not to laugh as Jaehee couldn’t hide her excitement. “Well,” he started off. “Your tests came back showing perfect health,” he said, flipping through his papers.You raised an eyebrow and looked back between him and Jaehee. “And mine…?”“Those weren’t so good,” the doctor said with a gloom tone. “Your tests didn’t yield as good results. Your sperm count was quite low, and on top of that the quality was low”.“W-What does that mean?” Jaehee asked, her tone turning nervous.“Well, it both of those combined means the chance of you two naturally conceiving a child is slim to none. It’s the most common reason for infertility in men, and there are options”.“I… I don’t want to think about that right now,” Jaehee said softly, covering her mouth. The doctor looked to you, and once you gave him a slight nod he left the room. You turned to Jaehee, gently placing your hands on her shoulders. “Jaehee?” You gently shook her. “Jaeeeheeeee?”She looked at you, obviously distraught. “W-What are we going to do? We can’t have kids can we? Oh my god…”“Hey now,” you quickly replied, gently lifting her chin so she’d look at you. “That doesn’t mean we can’t ever have kids-”“No, it means we can’t ever have kids”.You sighed softly, unsure of how to comfort her. She always was such a strong person, and it hurt to see her so upset. “Jaehee, it’s okay. We weren’t even sure this is what we wanted. And we have options on top of this, this doesn’t mean we just can’t have kids all together. I mean, we could always look into getting a sperm donor!”Jaehee laughed, surprising you a bit. “I don’t think I’d like that”.“Oh come on, you teased her. “Would you like a man more handsome to be the father of your child? Hey, maybe we can ask Zen!”She fell into a bit of giggles, turning red. “No! Noooo, you’re perfectly handsome on your own. I don’t think we need Zen, or anyone else for that matter,” she laughed.“Okay, okay,” you grinned. “Maybe not that. But we have time to think. Besides, I’m thinking you were right about the cafe. Let’s focus on that for a bit, and we can talk about all these. We don’t need to decide anything now”.She nodded, and took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay…  I think I want a cup of coffee”.“Alright sweetie. Let’s get finish with the doctor and get heading home”.

Seven

“Baaaaabe”.“Whaaaaaaat?”“Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe!”“I’m the defender of justice, not a mind reader,” Saeyoung pouted. “Whaaaaat?”“Come with meeee~”“Do I have toooo?”“Yes, you lazy bun,” you giggled as you threw a pillow at him. “Get up”.“I know, I knowww,” he groaned as he got up. You took his hand and walked with him to his car, and before you knew it you were on the road. “How many more times are we going to do this?” He asked.“I don’t know silly,” you replied, looking out the window. “Hopefully this will be the last one? The test results should all be back, and we can figure out what this is”.Saeyoung reached over and grabbed your hand. “I mean, I doubt it’s anything big. We’ll just go in, get the good news, and go!”You laughed. “I’m sure. Pay attention, our turn is right here~”~You pulled on Saeyoung’s sleeve, trying to pull him back to your seats. “Sit downnn! The doctor is going to be back any second!”“But this is so fun!” He exclaimed, playing with the toys on the wall [Disclaimer: I think this might just be a western thing?? Not sure here’s a picture if you don’t know what I’m talking about]. “Oh my god,” you tried to hold back your laughter as you took a picture of him. “I’m sending this in RFA chat~”“Okay, okay, I’m sitting down,” Saeyoung sighed as he plopped down next to you.“Too late,” you teased before sending it in the chatroom.”Right as Saeyoung looked as he was about to wail a “Nooooooooooooooo!” You heard footsteps right outside your door. You both quickly regained composure as the door opened, and a doctor sat across from you both.~You both were silent as Saeyoung drove you back home, your eyes tracing along the scenery outside. After a few minutes, you finally found the voice to speak up. “I mean, I guess it makes sense”.“What do you mean?”“All the symptoms and everything. It all makes sense. It still sucks though”.Saeyoung let you a small chuckle before taking your hand. “We can make it better though, right?”You gently rubbed your thumb against his hand. “Not really. I mean, we can make all the symptoms appear less than they are now but… there’s no cure”.“Psh! Lame polygon oval syndrome. We could fix it!”You turned your head towards him. “Polycystic Ovary Syndrome,” you laughed. “You’re definitely the greatest hacker in the world, but that doesn’t make you a doctor with a revolutionary cure. And besides, we haven’t even seriously talked about kids yet. You and Saeran are a bit much on your own, so I think we’ll be okay without actual kids for a while,” you smiled.Saeyoung parked his car in your guys’ driveway and turned to you. “Are you really this okay with everything?”You shrugged. “Maybe it just hasn’t fully hit me yet”.“Well,” he replied, wrapping his arm around you. “I know we’re going to be the happiest family ever, regardless of how we have kids or even if we have them at all. So even when it ‘hits’ you, don’t worry too much. Okay babe?”You nodded, feeling better after his reassurance. “Okay”.

Masterlist!

[argeriant18]

🎶I don't knowwwww🎶

🎶I don't know🎶

Okay, I'mma try this.

So, I kinda had this one project where we had to translate an English song into our native language and it still has to be catchy and still blend in the instrumental and when we did that we had to perform it to our teacher. My father suggested the song "And I Love Her" and honestly, I listened to it but never really likes it that time and I just chose this one song that Sean Connery sang for an old Disney movie.

But then like somewhere in August or September, I was with my mother and she was gonna meet up with a client. I was with her cause we liked going home together. And the meet up place was this old restaurant (that she says doesn't serve good food but idk) and there was these words written on the wall. I was honestly just standing like an idiot and I noticed the wall and started reading the words. The words were:

"There are places I'll remember

All my life, though some have changed

Some forever, not for better

Some have gone, and some remain

All these places had their moments

With lovers and friends, I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life, I've loved them all."

-Lennon and McCartney

And me, that time, I thought it was a poem 😅😂✌️. So I kinda took a picture of it then copied the test word for word on my phone in case I'd forget. And when I got home, I search it then I realized it was The Beatles.

Sorry that was long. 😅✌️

Also the hottest? I think all of them has their perks. I can't choose. 😅😂✌️

Well, when I was a newbie I was all "Paul! Paul! OMG! PAUL!"

Nowadays, it's a bit like "OMG LOOK AT JOHN OMG LOOK AT GEORGE OMG LOOK AT RINGOOO OMG LOOK AT PAUL"

I am torn because they're all cool and cute 😅😂😂😂😅✌️

Though, tbh. I think I have a lot of photos of John 😅✌️

Idk I just levitate to John sometimes because one time my friend said that my father looked like Paul McCartney and whenever I was with him I kinda made it my job to be the other half of the Lennon-McCartney 😅😂✌️

But most of the time I only wanna be their friends and nothing more wahahahaha

I’m curious at 1 am.

Everyone tell me

who you think the hottest beatle is (and why)

how you became a part of the Beatles fandom? (like how/why did you become obsessed with them?)

ACTUALLY DO THESE I’m very interested as well as bored and want to reward myself for writing XD

Also Im not going to post your asks I just want to see for myself, I have a theory that I’m testing lmao