#just once to show his fav picture of his mom (+sister)

[psychiatricwarfare]

one of our fav clients hasnt been acting like himself all week & everyone's super worried about him. the nurse checked him out n found nothing & he shook his head 'no' when we asked if he felt sick but he's been sleeping all throughout program which he's never done before. we hope everything's okay with him & he gets better soon, we miss my daily sensory sessions with him.

[razzmothazz]

random yuno stuff to make up for the fact ive only been rambling abt makoto so far

yuno is a little MENACE /aff they love pulling little pranks, annoying people and inconveniencing them in little ways. she obviously never takes it far and because she can read people well, they know when someone is too annoyed/upset and makes sure to apologize and make it up to them when she gets carried away. she loves playful banter and their love laguage is definitely friendly bullying

doesnt have the best relationship with her dad and her mom is uhm . out of the picture you could say [this is a pun only i and perhaps pinna get but i will elaborate on it. someday] so they tend to sneak out a lot to stay with UNIT MEMBER THAT SHALL NOT BE MENTIONED UNTILL MY SISTER DECIDES TO FINALLY FLESH THEM OUT AND TELL ME ABOUT THEM. anyway yeah yuno doesnt like staying home unless its them locked up comfy in their room doing their own thing, so they go out a lot and spend most of their time out and about doing whatever they feel like doing

despite their cheery and energetic personality, their mindset is actually pretty nihilistic, believing nothing really matter and life has no set meaning. she believes people exist just to exist, same as everything else. youre born, you live, you die. however she doesnt see it as a bad thing, it motivates her to make life as fun as possible while it lasts and to not dwell on anything too long since its inconsequential in the long run, my girl just wants to have fun with it !!

very creative person !!! she cant stick to just one art medium for too long and instead does all kinds of stuff, their favourite form is watercolor painting tho! she thinks the soft look of the paints is very pretty, but besides that she also does sculptures, writing, other types of paintings, digital art, sewing, literally you name any form of artistic craft and they probably tried it at least once, its their main form of self expression since they dont talk about their feelings like. at all

related to the feelings thing, theyre VERY expressive, which is one reason why they never feel the need to talk about their feelings, its cause everyone can simply tell what they feel. she learned that if people cant read you they will ask too many questions and get overly concerned, so she started putting her feelings on full display, yet still doesnt like elaborating on them. shes the kind of person you can know for years and suddenly you realize that after all this time spent together, you dont know much about them at all. she doesnt feel the need to open up, believing some things arent important for others to know [mostly because of her life "philosophy" or whatev u wann call it]

their fav colours are yellow and pink!!! pretty obvious since they LOVE wearing them, most of their closet is actually made up of clothing in those exact colours :3 if you ask her to pick between those 2 colours she will go on a rant about how its impossible to choose and will make the speech overly emotional and theatrical for no reason other than to mess with you

speaking of theatrical shes a HUGE wxs fan !!! she randomly saw their show one day when hanging out at the phoenix wonderland and LOVED IT!!! again, she loves every form of art so this was to be expected. emu especially caught their eye with her silly childlike wonder vibes, not to mention the pink hair was an immediate attention grab for yuno lmao. when they learn more about the troupe they grew to not only admire and respect them as performers but also on a more personal level, especially tsukasa and his leadership and sheer stage presence. i feel like tsukasa would definitely end up treating yuno like another one of his siblings tbh dkdghdjdhbd they have a pretty silly dynamic in my head

basically she thrives in any social setting, not everyone enjoys their company but shes not bothered by that at all and continues to do her own thing and being their silly energetic self, its no fun otherwise for them

she enjoys learning and wants to learn so many random things.. they also often just study how other people act and have a very strong interest in psychology and social stuff, you can often catch her staring and looking around at others with an oddly determined and focused look. despite her love of learning they do NOT enjoy school, mostly using it as a social space and an excuse to not be home. their grades are fine, but she finds most classes boring and only wants to learn stuff that interests her.

one of her hobbies includes fixing random stuff no matter how difficult with no experience because shes convinced she can just "figure it out" and it always works. they cant explain how they did it exactly but she will fix pretty much anything up somehow. everyone finds it a little scary because you can find her messing with electrical objects to fix them with zero clue on what to actually do to fix them. but they will always be fixed.

their only issue that they cant seem to brush off and follows them around no matter what is their fear of abandonment, she feels the constant need to be around people and have as many close friends as possible, they cant stand being alone. its no fun living when you have no one. they want to do their thing and have fun, but sometimes the self doubt creeps in and she starts wishing she was more normal. its a constant struggle for them, but they still tend to try and brush it off with some excuse like "i can always find someone else", and immediately feel weird about thinking that because who would want to replace their friends like that? this runs rlly deep btw and i wanna expand on this more when i figure out her backstory properly

so yeah, they stay silly but at what cost... /j

basically yuno is like. the embodiment of "i was born to love my friends and have a silly fun time"

i had way more thoughts but this is all i remember rn soooo BYE

[abeinginsand]

:o Darryl and Scary for the ask game!

Heya Baba! Thank you for the ask, hmm going to go into the Scary part first since I have my playlist on-- ----- Scary- what’s your favorite song? Top 3 favs at the moment: Sherlock Holmes Theme (from The Great Ace Attorney) fav character in the game and the theme fits his vibe so well, he is so silly and interesting. This is fun to whistle along too Run by OneRepublic, I've liked the band for a pretty long time so gives me a nostalgic vibe. I think the music video is pretty amusing too!

Pity Party by Melanie Martinez, always daydream of character music videos when I listen to this...lately I think of Nicky and him telling his son "this was my fav arm, you don't see me crying about it" and my inner thought in return "but maybe you should let yourself cry about that? Its okay to cry." Catchy angst songs get me every time x'D Alright, onto the second question!

Darryl - do you have a good relationship with your dad? Yes and no. So I mentioned in some tags once that I see a lot of myself and my mom in Glenn and Nick (being friends more than parent and child). For my dad, well coincidently--I see a lot of him in Darryl. Ya know that 'lets talk about this later (usually never)' quote but also 'a dad that doesn't know much about his kids interest but is trying to understand anyway. He's always been supportive of my art since I was kid and a part of me still cherishes that. As long as we don't talk about the hard stuff, its fine, peaceful, so that's my reason for the Yes. He's also not well-informed on LGBTQ+ but again is learning and supportive. (CW for verbal abuse mention) Now for the no, if Daryl is the good parts of my dad...the bad parts-- I see those in Willy. My dad has always been nicer to his coworkers/friends than to the family he came home to everyday. He was also a salesman hmm...that charisma. And when I was younger I didn't mind that much. I noticed but the difference wasn't that harsh at first. He just smiled and laughed a lot more with one group versus the other, still lavished his kids with gifts as a form of affection, tried his best to make us laugh. But as my sister and I grew up, the difference in behavior was getting more obvious. His annoyance and anger were showing more often than not. He was never physically abusive but was verbally. There were other factors involved such as work issues, health issues, and his own issues with his parents. His parents/siblings basically treated him (the youngest) like an outcast so he wasn't allowed to be close to them emotionally and had to be pretty independent. Generational trauma...looking at dndads as a podcast I adore but also "wow, I'm in this picture and I don't like it" Flashback to him being a parent and husband and well...he blamed us for all the stress he was under--be that from work stuff or body pain (from major health issues which eventually lead to him having a leg prosthetic). Unlike Willy he'd feel guilty and genuinely apologize but the pattern would just repeat so stuff felt hollow after awhile. He's been getting care for his health and behavioral issues these days (and is retired). Has been making an effort to mend his rocky relationships with us but also isn't forcing the conversations. Still frustrating days sometimes. Has said things that no apology will ever be enough for but I appreciate that he's trying. I didn't mention my sister in detail here but truly she is the Lark to my Sparrow, intense hatred of father figures included. My sister's two years younger than me but we are often mistaken as twins as well haha. Doesn't help that we both have the same first letter in our names too. We were able to trick our classmates and teachers a few times which was funny. She lives in another state for college right now but we're still pretty close! Want to say that I am 100% okay with sharing this (and feel free to reblog if you want to). Nonetheless, hope it wasn't too much of a bummer to read! :]

[notebookmusical]

Hi! I hope you're having a good week and enjoyed your birthday, even if it was pretty lowkey. Honestly I always keep my birthdays that way so I know what you mean and I remember that we both said we both weren't big birthday people when we talked about it. I'm so glad you were happy with your surprise songs. That's so cool that you almost predicted it and got something you wanted. I almost did that at my show with Right where you Left Me, but it was a lot easier cuz she was trying to play each song at least once back then lol. I guess the tour has been going on for a long time and I will miss it..but she deserves a break and I'm also expecting the other rerecordings soon..so it won't be that bad. I'm expecting maybe around February, March or April, since it will be about a year since TTPD. But I've seen some people say they think a new album could be next instead. Do you have an opinion? To be honest, I always said Wonderland was one of my least fav songs lol but I still like it when I hear it sometimes. It's just one I usually forget about..but I love Alice in Wonderland too, but the song doesn't really make me think of it. I did enjoy the actual mashup though, and same with Never Grow Up and the Best Day. It made sense why she would sing it near one of the last shows as a tribute to her family and parents and it's cute that your mom was there with you.

Hmm I was wondering if it would feel that way. But I think it makes sense where it is, instead of at the end of the show..although I Can Do it could also be a fun finale. Wow you were close guessing a place in this world..aww. I felt that about the night two songs too, kinda but I guess she wanted to perform with Gracie again, and play Maroon for the last time lol. Aww I'm sorry the cameras were blocking the view..that kinda sucks but it's kinda cool to be like..I was there! I mostly think the same, and I wonder if it will be the next thing, before the rerecordings or not...but maybe early next year is my guess like end of January and rerecordings later. A doc makes sense to celebrate a tour like this so I'm excited for it too.

It's weird cuz for the Outsiders..I totally agree that I see them all as separate and I can't explain why. Like I was flipping thru the book recently cuz I couldn't remember exactly how it was in the book compared to the movie. So I was like..did they change that from the movie or was it like that in the book? Like it felt like some scenes were out of order or something so I wanted to double check that. I just can't remember since it's been a while since I saw the movie even. However when I was reading parts, I could only picture the movie and not the musical and idk why lol. I suppose cuz I'm more familiar with it, but it will be interesting to see which one you like more after reading and not being familiar. It seems like some people that saw the musical first don't enjoy the movie that much. It seems like the musical tried to stick closer to the book. I was looking thru it and in the first chapter it says ponyboy was reading Great Expectations and they turned that into his song which was pretty cool cuz I never would've remembered that. Sorry if that's a bit of a spoiler but it's an example of wondering where the songs would go. so I'm excited to see more of that from the book and compare it to the musical. I also told my sister we could actually read it since she never did. Unfortunately they didn't keep one of my favorite lines from the book exactly but it's pretty much in there in other ways. They also made some other changes but I get they couldn't fit everything. They also performed on Jimmy Kimmel this week and the performance was so good! I'm afraid you would have Outsiders overload by the time you were done though, similar to what happened with Wicked haha.

How was the Wicked book? Did you enjoy it? I've heard it's bad but hopefully or maybe I can get to it by the time the second movie comes out. Would you recommend the audiobook? I just saw it on Spotify..I always said I can't do audiobooks cuz it's hard to pay attention but maybe it would help and for my sister especially. Did you see that they named it Wicked For Good in place of the part 2 lol. I guess I like it but I'm also wondering why but it definitely could be the highlight of the next film so it makes sense. Ooh I forgot about Thank Goodness but I am excited for it cuz it's similar to No one Mourns the Wicked and it will feel similar to the beginning of the first movie. I'm also curious about what kinda songs they added in Part 2 and for who. Could it be another Glinda song..probably for Oscar chances. Apparently there are 2 new songs so what do you think the other one would be? I don't know if the movie Part 1 will win a lot of awards like for acting, and the color was disappointing but I was impressed with the sets and the costumes so maybe that will win.

Did you enjoy the Back to the Future movie and did you get to see the musical yet? To me, that one is a little easier to imagine as a musical based on the few clips of performances I've seen. The only song I know for now is Back in Time. The vibes are also pretty different and more fun I would say and I hear they do a few cool things on stage so I would be interested in that. But fun fact..the original Marty Casey Likes was also Ponyboy in the Outsiders workshop a few years ago before he decided to do Back to the Future which is odd cuz the shows are so different, but just another fun connection. He was also in Almost Famous, another movie I love that is a musical, but I never listened to that either lol. But I know it has Solea Pfeiffer which is another reason I wanted to hear it but it didn't do that good on Broadway. Maybe I will after I see this one, but otherwise I'm not that familiar with the original cast as far as comparing it to the tour. What I liked about Kimberly Akimbo is they bring some of the ensemble to the tour which was pretty cool. Anyway I think Back to the Future is actually closing by the end of this month, but it's already been on Broadway a few years I think so it's been pretty successful.

So I only did a basic plot synopsis on Floyd Collins and it doesn't seem like something that would translate into a musical lol..but I'm sure it's good. I've only heard a few songs from Light in the Piazza and know the plot of it but I think I understand the music style it's gonna be if it's similar to that. Actually I just listened to the cast recording of Days of Wine and Roses which is the same person who did the Floyd Collins musical which is a total coincidence..I had no idea until I looked yesterday. I did enjoy some of the music and Brian D'arcy James and Kelli o Hara were in it. So I'm not sure if I will end up listening to it..maybe sometime but will probably listen to the new cast recording version and hopefully there is one. I also read an article about new musicals opening in the spring and it's hard to predict what will be at the Tony's so I guess we will see. They also announced Eva is leaving Gatsby now and being replaced by Sarah Hyland so I guess they need stunt casting somewhat, but she was pretty good in Little Shop. I think I read that Eva is going back to Hadestown which I wouldn't have guessed. I also saw the new Gypsy footage which looks amazing and that it got good reviews too.

Well your replay results don't really surprise me cuz I remember it was similar to last year. I didn't know you enjoyed the 1975 that much though..which I also love, and those are all good choices. Taylor is only on my Spotify Wrapped cuz she has consistently been releasing albums for the last five years and sometimes it's two rerecordings or the length of a long album. For example, TOP only made it this year cuz they had an album and I saw them in concert this year. I guess I'm weird cuz I listen to so much different artists and new stuff that im not really listening to the same fav artists or anything the way other people do. I'm kinda surprised about the cast recordings not making it since they are long albums and I thought it would count more. That's a good point about vinyl and maybe I will start using my vinyl player more in the new year.

I've been good and don't have much planned for the rest of the year. We celebrated Christmas last weekend cuz my brother is going to Mexico so it will probably be jjust chill. I can't believe it's Christmas already and doesn't feel like it. I might see family this weekend but don't know yet. But in the past, we always worked on Christmas so it's not that big of a deal. I'm hoping to see Hamilton but that's only if I get picked for lottery now since it's all sold out. I did end up listening to the Warriors album and enjoyed it but I probably won't see the Mufasa movie. I have two concerts in February now since I was able to get Zayn tickets last week, and Soccer Mommy. I might go to Back to the Future and some like it Hot musicals as well. I'll also try to finish some books I was in the middle of by the end of the year lol but I haven't really thought of resolutions or anything yet, even if they usually stay the same. But I hope you have a lovely Christmas and New Year's if I don't talk to you again. As always, there's no pressure to reply and I hope you're doing well!

gooood morning 🩷 anon!!! i hope you're having a good week! do you consider weeks starting on monday or sunday? i used to think of weeks starting on sunday, but ever since i started hobonichi-ing, i've had to rewire my brain so that i think of weeks as starting on monday!

as a heads up, it may take me a little longer to reply to asks in the next few weeks — my best friend is visiting from australia! or i'll be replying in record time, who knows!

i'm honestly quite relieved that eras is over, although i will definitely miss it too! i think that given the success of tortured poets, it'll be some time until we see another new album — maybe a rerecording in a few months? i've been thinking of doing a full relisten of her discography, maybe an album or two a day? i was going to say i'd try to squeeze them all in before my friend comes but some of these albums are long 😭 and i do not know if i can commit myself to that.

guess what guess what!! i do not know if you saw my bat signal but i finally read the outsiders!! jamie wants to watch the movie with me, so it'll be at least a month before i can watch the movie and then i can watch a bootleg of it! woohoo! we're getting closer! that being said, i do think spacing it out a bit will help with fatigue, which is good!

i did actually really enjoy the wicked book! there's a lot that's different and i think it really helped me in thinking of the musical, and movie (and book obviously) as separate things. i think there were some things i was like, shocked to know they didn't keep, and i'd love to know more about the process of adapting wicked as a musical. just because it is quite different. and i do recommend the audiobook! i had to train my brain to like audiobooks but i really do love them — they work best for me while i'm doing something else (cleaning, crafting, walking the dog, playing a game, etc) and i really had to experiment with speed (some audiobook narrators are SUPER slow, some are too fast, etc). i really liked the choreo and costumes in the movie! and i'm so excited to have my heart ripped out with the "for good" bit!

back to the future... whew. i have many mixed thoughts about it, but i did think it was a phenomenal adaptation of the movie in the sense that it picks out all the bits that everyone loves, it felt very 1:1, etc. as a musical... i didn't quite enjoy it as much as i wanted to, i left not really remembering a single song (which is ... kind of important for a musical). i was talking to my friend will (who saw it in the west end) before i saw it, and he said it was kind of like a ride and more like an experience than a show, and at intermission i sent him a text and was like. you are entirely correct. you know those rides at universal or disney, like soarin or the simpsons ride? that's what it felt like. mixed with like, a musical? at one point i was like oh this show feels very tailored to like, theme parks and cruise ships. like it is an ... experience. and i knew going in that this was a "very loud show" and brought my loops but it was still ... far too loud WITH them in, which is saying something i think. my friend that i went with got slightly motion sick from the screens at the beginning, and the flashing lights/the way the lights were in general did give me a migraine, so i'd give anyone going to it a heads up for those things! our tour marty is actually from our state! and more specifically, my neighborhood, which is so fun haha. i thought he was fine! i really liked the guy who plays george mcfly, and thought he would be a great pomatter in like fifteen years — then went and looked at his headshot and was like oh it's giving the outsiders haha. i've also been meaning to give almost famous a listen! maybe in the new year!

i did see the hadestown casting! and i am sad for the west end current cast because their contracts are getting cut short to my understanding, but am super super excited for andre and patrick and amber to return to hadestown. and am glad their performances are getting preserved/filmed 🤍 i've been listening to the west end recording a lot, and have been very charmed by dónal's orpheus. he's still no damon but still very charming to me!

i do like the 1975! i haven't listened to them as much but apparently (according to apple music) they were my most listened artist in both january and february, and so i think that's why they made it on there? i didn't listen to as much music this year! and yes, i think it's very easy for taylor to be on a wrapped/replay list because she has SO many songs and even though it doesn't feel like you're listening to her for that long ... some of her albums are like two hours long haha.

how was your christmas? 🤍 oh my gosh i'm so happy for you with zayn tickets — i hope you have the best time!!! i think i'm going to do some "25 in 2025" lists but that's about as far as i've got for resolutions and goals! have not given it too much thought (and need to)!!! hope you're doing well 🤍 !! happy new year if i don't talk to you before it!

[ne-fe-li-bata]

Aye yo CORPSE!  ...

Dead ass;

You can't convince me that Corspe was/is/does ; 

in no particular order..

• Deserve to be held ( I would smother him with my chest and hold him tighter than he has ever been held) & protected from this world

• Pyro! Mans loves🔥🔥🔥 - mostly his fav elemental  (Leo is a fire sign); “WOOO... now that’s a fire!”

•  Loves knives/weapons- has a collection (quite a nifty 1, ay thank-a-you) & even knows how to use butterfly knives/ tackle combat.

      Has a collection of weapons (brass knuckle, daggers, swords, knives,etc.)

•  Highly interested in combat/training. Most likely has training in some sort of combat. Loves any form of physical combat < UFC,MMA, Boxing, any type of martial arts>

•  Absolute proper gentlemen / clearly has the utmost charm/cunning

      I.e holds the door open & will slap yo ass on the way in, moves you away from street side when walking, pulls chairs, defends your honor, etc.

• Takes A . L . O . T  to truly capture his attention- but once you have it ..%100

•  With his person; protective/obsessives/ possessive/ sensual/ affectionate .

              < mine is mine. me no share -like absolutely not at all>

             “ You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for ya“

• RP'er on DeviantArt/chats had his own OC. (also prob had his fav person to RP with) 

         <prob even talked to them in MSN or private chat>

•  Watched mostly nothing by anime/cartoons (nick/CN) as a kid & also mostly watched certain shows/movies as a kid well into his teens

         (could recite quotes/scenes as second nature)

•  Not a major musical theatre type of kid. But musical movies/shows was 1 of his favs- but still highly interested/ in love with theatre/musicals/preforming arts none the less.

-EYES DON’T LIE

•’staring problem’ he’d just stare at you -deep in his head (both good & bad) you’d have to bring him back to you ..”babe- eh, come *snap*back to me. What’s on your mind my love?’

•  Genuinely a really warm person- but only to certain people, but comes across cold & distance 

•  Grew up in the internet & knows the way around the 'business' & 'faceless' YouTubers/celebrities

•  His teens/ late adolescents consisted & grew up on YouTube O.G videos/ video game commentary/content;

  Cry.. <Cry was a huge part of my life & still hold a special place in my heart. Corspe just like I was most likely devastated with the shit that went down> 

Jack

Nova

Sp00n

Jontron

Smosh

Nigahiga

Shane

Jenna

Hanna Hart

Phil/Dan

KevJumba

Ray William Johnson

Pewds

Machinima

EMT

ERB

Wassabi Prod.

VlogBros, 

-etc

• Has an oral fixating (lovebites indefinitely <like dead ass ya’ll be chillan/ out & he’d attack you> & just needs something in his mouth always)

• Fidgety af, always need to be playing with something in his hands/playing with 

•  Is a goddamn absolute certified freak--but also super soft bean boi. (can't stress how this boi needs& deserves to be protected)

• Constant hand/arm touching/stroking for comfort.

• Daddy{papi} / Mommy(mamá) . Master . Sir  kink - hard control kinks- but highly sub. 

hard(er) kinks

• Lovebites = M I N E 

obvs fishnets/ crossbody straps/ lingerie

lace

collars/ restraints 

toys

     •RP

degrading/praising

sub/dom switch

showing/proving your actually/completely & utterly his/ he’s completely & utterly yours..

& of course you know it's go time when 1 - if not both of you has kitty ears on. 

over stim 

*no touchy/ don’t let me go*

“look at what I’ve done to you”

“you kno only I can do this to you”

“look how greedy you are for me”

“look at the mess you’ve made because of me’ 

“cum on my face”/’cum for me”

“who do you belong to” / “you belong to me & only me”

100% all black clothing 🖤

*that once we get home / I swear I’ll deal with you right here, right now* look 

primal play  “when you run from me, it only makes me want you more” “you know imma find you kitten”

pet names (beast< i feel like you call this man “ (a) beast”-he about to lose his absolute fucking mind> , “oh Corpse/______, you absolute fuckin’ beast- my God” kitten, babyboy/girl, baby(e), bae, my love, lover boy, my darling, slut, needy little bitch, cum slut, lil’ whore, master/mistress, king/queen”

“only yours” “just ______” “ no-one but _____” “only____” “only you” 

‘I’ll keep you so no one can find you or bother us’

“that’s my girl” / “that's my boy”

“would you like to/ I saw----”

“look at me” “don’t look away from me”

GROWLING / talking through clenched jaw

not breaking eye contact 

     • his name & ‘Corspe’ being cried out 

“cry out my name for me baby. know who you belong to”

video/sexing/teasing 

breeding kink

voyeurism

abrasions

aftercare af 

impact play 

24/7

edging 

accidental stim; “holy fuck- I’m so turned on by you rn”

rope bondage 

begging 

worships 

•  But also soft kinks; 

MEME SENDING

head on lap/chest

naps

playing with hair 

matching outfits

voice messages 

always touching (somehow)

no space between bodies

picture taking together/ just of you

body rubs, head rubs

massages

competition 

play fighting

“this reminded me of you”

“I remember you said” “I know you...”

“you know I love you”

“I can tell by your eyes”

“ugh- I swear to shit imma marry you 1 day”

“nothing really made sense until you”

“do you wanna watch”/ “WAIT!? YOU HAVEN’T SEEN?!”

“damn- you really do love/like me, eh?”/ “you are SO fucking mine”

“that’s my girl”/ “that's my boy”

pet names/ “MY_______” “YOURS”

long stares

dates- stay at home dates are his fav, as your attention/focus is just on him 

choker/necklace/ jewelry (that 1 of you bought- NOT LIKE HIGH PRICE TAG, but like seen it & was like ‘omg ____ would so wear...’) 

cuddles with movies /anime watching time

just being in the same room/on call- even in silence 

* emojis*- just some sort of communication 

inside jokes/ puns/dark humor

seeing 1 another with kids

future kink (family, travel, etc)

playing video games 

dancing/ singing with 1 another

Sitting on the ground, wrapped around his leg when he streams/edits

Nerf gun fights 

Watching him record (tracks/editing/streaming)

•  Loves- loves surprises <like dead ass would set up a surprise date/ do a scavenger hunt for you/ surprise you with your fav thing>

•  Loyalty is everything & his best attribute (& pride) 

• The music that he make is from the soul/heart. He pit everything has has/what he has left into his art

•  No one has seen the real him - a side he truly hides

•  He's both book & street smart

           Taught himself through YouTube/Reedit/online 

•  Fav actors; Jim Carrey/Robbin Williams/Will Smith (?)

•  Man’s straight up dangerous. we only know like a  quarter of him & people fall at his feet. ( h e . i s . n o t . t o . b e. F U C K E D . w i t h) 

•  Hates silence 

         ( constantly needs background noise)  <also can't fight me on this babyboi cuddles pillows/blankets for night-night time>

•  People don't understand the pain he is in every day, unless they have fibromyalgia/GERD/high functioning (sever social)anxiety/depression/ agoraphobia 

(my mom suffers with fibro/depression <I myself have GERD/ sever social amenity/depression>& I wouldn't wish those illness on my worse enemy...)

• Over all pain has changed him

• Has dealt with self harm since a young age- most likely 9- 11 yrs old. (as someone else who’s suffered with SH for years- when you become so numb it 1 of the only ways to feel some sort of anything/makes you feel like you’re alive)

• Addiction (drugs/people/things)

•  Wrote & read a lot of fanfiction

        (most likely his main source of reading in pre/teenage years)

• Is a hopeless romantic but has his guard way up

•  Obsessed with Japan / Studio Ghibli

• Doesn't think he deserves any of the recognition/ fame he's gotten--but definitely deserves it all as he's creative & inspirational as fuck. Also he’s worked so hard for it & had put himself through so much

    Contrary is highly appreciative of those that are supporting

• Doesn't do it for the fame but for the fact he know how he's gotten people through hard time (just like those on the internet got him through)

• Was a scene boy that vibe’d of myspace/ listens to a lot of  ‘scene’ pop-punk, emo/ scene band shit (band?)

•  Also is/was a major tumblr boy

•  Would be a phenomenal father

•   His love language: physical touch & words of affirmation 

• He would flinch at touch movement but would melt in your hands

• Face caresses would trigger anxiety/ tears.. but once he’s calmed/comfortable would burry his face in your touch. neck & chest

•  Still caught up in daydreams

•  A part of him is still never satisfied even if it’s exactly to the pin point detail of what he wanted  

•  Has at least 40/50(ish) songs he hasn't released

•  Mommy & daddy issues (not saying his home life was really- really  fucked - but non the less- it certainly wasn't the best).. Also wants to protect/provide for his family (especially his sister) & was prob closer to a grandparent/aunt/uncle)

•  Definitely prefers to be by himself, as every time people come around, it's like;‘"this is why I'm okay (ish)with being alone" 

• lost an important person to him due to O.D/ suicided..

•  Also most likely to of heard his "friends" shit talking 'Corpse' or something correlated with him

•  His pride is his biggest sin (next to lust)

•  Has single-handedly defined a huge part of 2020 ( in the best way)

•  Went through a fighting stage where he was ready to fuck anyone up on a drop of a dime (middle/'high school'/street fights- possibly even under ground)

          but also a stage where he cut absolutely everyone off for a solid couple years

•  Most likely obsessed with 1 of 3 creatures; lion, dragon, wolf ( 5ish- possibly bear/fox)

•  Dinosaur obsessed 

• Internet & video games raised him

• He raised himself

Quick to adapt to surroundings/situations.

•  Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was his shit ( I CAN SO SEE YOUNG BABYBOI RUNNIN AROUND THE HOUSE IN A POWER RANGER SUIT) "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME MOTHER FUCKER"

              fav ranger- green 

•  Has up until next year planned out & is working on the next 'version of corpse' ( PR, vids, music, etc)

•  Also med/high key this man was most likely in a physcward (more than once) ..

•  This man deserves more than he'll ever give himself recognition for & knows in the back of his mind--people will hate just to hate

•  Rose is his fav flower  🌹

•⛈️🌧️. >🌞.  Loves storms/ rain & prefers them over sunny days

•  Loves the moon/stars/space (?) < observatorium dates = fuckin mint>

• Pixar/Disney lover

        <still believes- deep down in happy ever after ... but thorough an twisted yet not so twisted- simple(??), dedicated process(?)>

•  Fav Pixar movie.. either Wall.E or Toy Story 

    •  Pixar > Disney

         •  But fav Disney movie- Beauty & the Beast (?)

• Most likely had a Jackass obsession's (doing dumb hoodshit)

•  Fall is his fav season (?)

•  Horror/ thriller movies/shows over everything (obvs)

•   Had an escape place in town where he’d hide from the world- that absolutely no one knew about. 

•  Was really into graffiti/ street art 

•  Arested as a youth - but charges dropped- or was still considered a mirror (either fighting/ possession/ trespassing/ vandalisms)

• Arrested on heavier charges (also same as above - but not tried as an minor)

•  also-ALSO ... thou he feels like he owes people something. HE DOESN’T OWE ANYTHING TO A N Y O N E . His mental & well being is the most important.

•  On a side & major note. You can't deny that this man single handily is a (in my opinion) the 2nd biggest “C” that define 2020.

•  Was most likely really into skateboarding/BMX

• Late night drives/impulsive road trips & playlist/ sitting at lookouts, just in silence & touching 1 another. 

• Clingy af-.. but could also be distance & cold af- especially on high pain days. stormy brain days. PTSD episodes.

• Slow dancing/ dancing around the apartments. with or without music.

• Rocking out with each other- screaming lyrics in each other face.

• “hey baby- how you feelin” 

         *grunting* *shuffles over & lays on chest* 

• Huge comforts for 1 another;

      Especially when going out, being wrapped around him for comfort & reassurance. Even being at home alone together- panic attacks are shit, PTSD episodes are even more shit. helping each other with bathing & caring

     When he’d be hiding from his reflection- or stares just a little too long. Going up behind him & worship him (vise versa)

• He’d be your biggest hypeman/ #1 fan (vise versa)

• Would LOVE you wearing his clothes/jewelry & would love to wear you things.

Was probably engaged to his ex (that's why he gets offt when people mention "corpse wife"

There'd be days where he'd be so distance & cold.. & tell you to leave but wouldn't let you.

He'd sit in the bathroom with you when you shower/have a bath.

As he doesn't sleep most night. He'd be up just watching you sleep & caressing you.

Lil spoon > big spoon.

<more to be added>

I love you... genuinely . turly.  madly. deeply.

[trikxx]

Lookk so to mention this is not just any friends to lovers story my toxic side is screaming friends with benefits type beat so😉 there will be some heartbreaking and Shinsou talking to other girls and you talking to other boys❤️❗️this is also a poc reader sooo read if you want i dont own you🤷🏽‍♀️

Songs for this chapter ⬇️

• B***h dont kill my vibe by kendrick Lamar

• in control nba youngboy

⚠️❗️marijuana use in this chapter❗️⚠️

"Alright we have 569 orders to pack Toshi." You say to Shinsou "ok hold on." Shinsou said licking and blunt to finish rolling it. You grabbed a box of packages and put it in the living room the grabbing your computer to print out labels and receipts.

You light a candle and turn on some music (the song at the top) Shinsou puts the blunt to the side and starts labeling the packages and putting the orders together in this order costumers order, business card, thank you card, and receipt. You do final packaging and stamp for the mail marking each order off the list and putting it in the box of finished orders.

"Hey n/n wanna go get a tattoo tomorrow?"

"Sure but where?"

"You remember Sero and Denki from Highschool?"

"Yea."

"Well they opened a tattoo spot on 58th." Shinsou said "Bet we can go." You respond putting another order in the box.

*DING*

"Who is it?" You ask Shinsou cause he pick up you phone. "Armoni." "What did he say?" "He said can he come over?" Shinsou responded "Are you ok with him coming over?" You say "Yea." "Ok then tell him Its ok."

Armoni⛓💵: Is it ok if i come over?

Y/n🤍🌸| Yea. You spending the night and do you need a ride?

Y/n🤍🌸| Also do ma know?

Armoni⛓💵: yea she know and no dad dropping me off.

Armoni⛓💵: ouu i can spend the night bet. Yea if thats the case.

Y/n🤍🌸: i didn't-

Y/n🤍🌸: Aight.

You and Shinsou start back in the orders soon finishing them. "I'm tired as fuck." You say flopping down on the couch "Get untired sweetheart cause your brother is coming over and we have a blunt to smoke and food to order." Shinsou said while laying across your legs.

Y/n's pov

Shinsou lit the blunt and hit it a few times. I looked at him as he let the smoke move out his mouth softly blowing with his head back. "Like what you see?" Shinsou said looking at me with a cocky smirk thats when I noticed I was staring "shut up and pass the blunt." I say. Shinsou chuckled and gave me the blunt. I did the same thing as Shinsou but blew o's "stop trying to show out n/n." Shinsou said taking the blunt "boy ain't nobody 'showing out'." I say putting up quotation marks with your hands.

We pass the blunt back a forth a few more times until I got a notification from life 360 saying Armoni go to the apartment. Shinsou put out the blunt and put it with the spongebob rolling tray we had. I cracked the window and opened the balcony door a little bit and went in my room to put the orders away.

When I came out the room someone started knocking on the door kinda like the police (strong ass knock✋🏽💀) "Armoni Keith l/n how manys time do I have to tell you stop knocking on my fucking door like that." I say opening the door. " Dang Im sorry you aint gotta cuss at me n/n" Armoni said "Aye Shinsou where the hoes?"

I smack Armoni on the back if the head while walking past him to the living room "Ain't no hoes." I say coldly. "Yea Armoni ain't no hoes.... right now." Shinsou said smirking. "Nigga." I say with a straight face. "Im not finna do this with ya'll tonight." Shinsou and Armoni start laughing "ANYWHOO. Did you eat yet Armoni cause was finna order some food."

"Nah not yet." Armoni said. "What do ya'll want to eat?" I say walking into the kitchen with my phone to grab an water and then lean on the island.

"What about taco bell?"

"Armoni who the fuck."(sorry to the people who like taco bell) I say "ima have to agree with y/n Armoni. Who eats Taco bell?" "Uhh..obviously me." Armoni says.

"Awe naw you gotta go." I say "how about in and out? We can go out and get that." K said "im cool with that" Armoni says. "Ok." I say walking to my room. I got in to my room and pull out a pair of jogging pants and a oversized (fav anime) shirt and took off my bonnet and styled my faux locs

I grabbed my purse and house and car keys. "Yall ready?" I ask putting on my air force ones. "Been ready. We was waiting for you." Shinsou said.

Time skip

I start up my car using my remote start while we were walking to the car in the parking garage.

Everyone gets in the car. "LET ME PLAY THE MUSIC!" Armoni yells "STOP FUCKING YELLING." And it depends on what you finna play." I say turning around to look at Armoni. "Come on n/n let him play the music." Shinsou said looking at me tilting his head with puppy dog eyes. "I guess." I say rolling my eyes. "Just dont play no trash shit." I said looking at him through the rear view mirror. "Ok ok and i was going to say yall had to cause yall smoked with out me." He said making this face '😌' "boy.."

Play in control by nba youngboy

"shhhhhhhh" Shinsou said putting his finger up to your mouth and pointing to the steering wheel. "Food." I side eyed him and started backing out the parking spot and driving out the garage. Armoni start playing Nba youngboy. As much as I wanted to turn it off Shinsou wouldn't let me so we had to flow with it.

"Sk machine guns its two of us wit four nines!" Armoni rapped with the song (in control-nba young boy only song i can get down to🙌🏽 edit- i put the wrong song🙂 if you listen to yb just ignore that🧍🏽‍♀️) I turned down the radio. "What do yall want from here?" I asked they both said what they wanted and i went inside and ordered the food. As im waiting a guy comes up to me "Damn, what a fine girl like you doing out by yourself." He says "ahaha" I said sarcastically "getting food." I say still looking down at my phone. "You should me get your number." He says "you should let me get your name." I respond dodging the request. " My name is Shindo and you?" "Y/n" i say

"Order number (blah blah blah)!" The cashier says "welp thats me." I said not wanting to talk to him anymore. "Here you go ma'am." R/n says handing my bag "Thank you, have a good night" i say walking towards the door. "Hey! Uhh.. y/n you said it was!" I heard the guy from before right when I walked out the door "Hey" I said putting on a fake smile. "Can I get your number?" He asked "yea sure" I say pulling out my phone to put his number in.

Shinsou's pov

As me and Armoni are just chilling the car I see y/n coming out on in and out but she getting stopped by someone "who the fuck.." I say "what wron... oh shit" Armoni says. "You know who that is?" Armoni asks me. "Not at all." I tell him. Im not gonna lie i was jealous. But like fr who is that. I see y/n put her phone back the guy tried to hug her but she away "she dont want em" me and Armoni said at the same time and busted out laughing

"What are yall laughing at?" Y/n said opening the back door putting the food in the car. "You petty for doing that to that dude." Armoni said trying to stop laughing. "Awe well he was the on that didn't realize." Y/n said " But you still gave him your number though ." I said. "Yea Im finna block his number rn." Y/n said pulling her phone back out.

Y/n's pov

"Aye. Disconnect from my car now." I said to Armoni "whyyyy?" Armoni whined. " Disconnect or get out. Either way your still disconnecting just the second one your walking." I said smiling at him "ok ok"

I started playing my playlist.

~Time skip~

Shinsou's pov

We got back to the apartment and everybody got comfortable and we ate and watched movies Armoni went into his room and got in the bed around 3 am. Me and y/n were still in the living room. Y/n was laying on me and I was laying on the couch.

~30 minutes later~

"Hey y/n..." she fell asleep on me. 'How cute' I chuckled and just stayed there not wanting to wake her up to put her in her bed. I kept watching f/a that Y/n had put on after Armoni went to bed.

*DING*

Kami💀⚡️: Yoooo are yall coming through to the shop tmrw

Hitoshi☄️: yea why wouldn't we😃.

Kami💀⚡️: just asking cause you guys change up plans really quick if ya know what i mean😉

Hitoshi☄️: stfu. It was only once.

Kami💀⚡️: if you say soo Hitoshi😌

Hitoshi☄️: stop fucking texting me.

It was only once we only did it once. Me and Y/n were supposed to go to their shop the other day but thing between me and y/n go heated and we ended up in bed together but thats besides the point. "Yo Hitoshi your still woke?" Armoni said walking into the living room. "Just up to get som..."Armoni stopped and look at me then down. "Uhmmm..." Armoni went back to his room and got his phone.

"Moms is gonna love this." Armoni said taking a picture. "Why you take a.... fuck Armoni delete it now." I whisper yelled still trying not wake up y/n

"Why should I delete it? Why ya'll ain't tell nobody you guys were a 'thing'?" Armoni shot back. "Cause we're not. Bruh delete the pic and we stay safe. You know your sister is crazy and if she finds out thats the end of our lives." I say slightly sitting up causing y/n to move around a little bit. "Valid point I'll delete it on one case." I was over joyed til the last part.

"Let me drive the car tomorrow." Armoni said. I sighed knowing either way this might be my last week on earth. "Ok." "Anddd deleted thank you for your service." Armoni said taking his water and going back to his room.

I layed back down trying to comprehend what just happened.

*DING*

"What the fuckkkk." I say reaching over to y/n's phone.

*New message from (***)-***-****

(***)-***-****: Hey y/n this Shindo😉.

*read*

I looked at the phone for a little bit 'who is Shindo'

(***)-***-****: from In&out we met there just yesterday.

(***)-***-****: shit. My bad for blowing up your phone just realized how late it is. Text me back when you see this👋🏽.

'Wow' I think to myself bro really is blind. Would this be considered harassment. Maybe I'm tripping... im still high as fuck. Maybe I should go to sleep. I cut on another show to try and fall asleep on but I couldn't. I kept thinking what if she falls for him?

"Y/n." I say shaking her a little bit "come on" Motioning her to wrap her legs and arms around me so I can put her in her bed. "Can I sleep in here?" I ask "Bruh your room is down the hall go there." She said in a sleepy voice. "I dont feel like ittttt" i say.

Y/n slow turned over to face me. "I dont have the energy to argue with you." She said "I take that as a yes." I say getting into her bed.

I felt y/n snuggle under me trying to find warmth so I grabbed and held her close to me. "Goodnight." I say. No response so I start to let go "ok ok night." I heard y/n say. "Mhm thats what I thought." After a while I was able to fall asleep.

2062

This chapter took 5 ever to write but it was worth it I really hope you guys liked this chapter.

🌸L O V E  Y A  B E B E S🌸

[thatwasthenightthingschanged]

here’s the next part of what I like to call “The Taylor Swift song analysis series”! In which I, a German girl majoring in English, attempt to analyse or interpret Taylor’s songs to shed more light on a) her incredible song writing skills and b) songs that are generally very underrated and deserve more attention. (here’s the link to all my song analysis)

Today’s song is All Too Well since I’m still going through the RED tracklist chronologically. This is a fandom fav and I think most of the lyrics are pretty straight-forward but I’m still excited to talk abt this song! (also, as always, a short psa that this interpretation is extremely subjective meaning that’s just how I see the song! also that I’m no native speaker so I probably will not be able to get any cultural references in any of Taylor’s songs - but feel free to add them in a reblog :) )

“I walked through the door with you, the air was cold, but something ‘bout it felt like home somehow” The song begins with a harsh contrast: It was winter when she entered this house/apartment but she still felt at home (which is often associated with a warm and fuzzy feeling) there, probably because she was with the person she loved.

“and I left my scarf there, at your sister’s house, and you still got it in your drawer even now” He clearly still isn’t over the relationship because he cannot get rid of this personal item of hers.

“oh your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze, we’re singing in the car getting lost upstate. Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place and I can picture it after all these days” A quite literal snapshot of her memory which she put into the song. And, since she can still vividly recall this memory, it shows that she isn’t over the relationship either. (also, part of me wonders what his disposition was? like does she mean his disposition was being sweet or that whatever said disposition was was something she loved?)

“and I know it’s long gone and that magic’s not here no more” logically, she knows it makes no sense that she’s still yearning for the past since even if they got back together, it wouldn’t be the same because so many things have happened between them that they no longer have genuine feelings for each other. (perhaps it’s more of a nostalgic longing for what they once were, rather than accepting the reality of what they are now)

“and I might be okay, but I’m not fine at all” She is doing alright since they have split but she’s still in the midst of heartbreak and she is, again, still not over him.

“‘cause there we are again on that little town street. You almost ran the red ‘cause you were looking over at me. Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well” another snapshot of her memory that she remembers vividly. They were driving in his car with the windows down and he was so enchanted by her that he forgot all of his surroundings. Now that they’re over, she misses these exact moments, these moments of feeling special and loved next to him.

“photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red. You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed and your mother’s telling stories about you on the tee-ball team” We’re back to another memory of the relationship. Also, since he was actually embarrassed that his mom showed pictures of him as a kid, she assumed (or maybe it was the truth) that he cared about her since he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of her.

“you taught me about your past, thinking your future was me” He thought they would last forever. (however, I would argue that perhaps only Taylor thought that he thought it would last forever, since he clearly did not care about the relationship as much as she did - or at least I think he didn’t oops)

“and I know it’s long gone and there was nothing else I could do” Again, she knows the relationship has been over for a while and also, she knows that she couldn’t have prevented their fallout.

“and I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to” The relationship is in fact so far in the past that she’s now at the stage where she romanticizes it and forgets all the bad stuff that happened between them that were the reason for them breaking up in the first place.

“‘cause there we are again in the middle of the night. We’re dancing ‘round the kitchen in the refrigerator light. Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well” again, another memory of the two of them together that she recalls now that they are over. Note that so far she only recalls all the good moments of the relationship (see also the previous line).

“maybe we got lost in translation” she’s now thinking about why they broke up. Perhaps it was because they didn’t communicate clearly enough. (which would put the blame on both of them)

“maybe I asked for too much” Perhaps she wanted too much out of this relationship when she thought it would/could last forever. (which would put the blame on her)

“but maybe this thing was a masterpiece ‘til you tore it all up” However, she knows that the main reason for the break-up were his actions. They could’ve been (and have been) amazing until he decided to ruin the relationship. (putting the blame on him)

“running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well” She recalls the moments when she was terrified of losing him.

“hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest” He broke his promise that he only wants to be with her by cheating on her and she recalls the moment when he called her to admit it to her, because he “wants to be honest” after the break up (and probably clear his conscience). But to her, this act is just cruel, it breaks her into a million pieces.

“I’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here ‘cause I remember it all too well.” And because she so vividly remembers every aspect of the relationship, she can’t move on and she still is deeply hurt.

“time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it” she is in the state of the time after the breakup where time seems to expand and she just goes on living her life without fully being alive. Whenever she notices the passing of time, it paralyzes her, makes her sad again because she realizes that the memory of him fades further and further into the past until most of it is gone.

“I‘d like to be my old self again but I’m still trying to find it” She has ost herself through the relationship and the heartbreak and she desperately wishes she could just erase this part of her history and go back to where she was before she met that guy. But since she’s “still trying to find it”, she realizes that no matter how much she wishes she could turn back time, she can’t. The only option is living with the forever-changed person she is now.

“after plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own, now you mail back my things and I walk home alone” She’s still clinging to things that remind her of him. Wearing plaid shirts for example, and having someone to walk home with. Meanwhile he has given her her things back, so perhaps he has already moved on for the most part (or at least he wants Taylor to think he has moved on)

“but you keep my old scarf from that very first week ‘cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me. You can’t get rid of it ‘cause you remember it all too well.” but since he still keeps her scarf, she knows that he is not over her either. He also remembers the good times of the relationship before he made his mistake (”innocence”) and cannot let them go. (also, side note: Taylor met his sister during the first week of their relationship? that’s quite early. perhaps she also took this as “oh he takes this as seriously as I do”).

“'cause there we are again when I loved you so, back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known. it was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well” And now she thinks about how he would think about their good times, how he would remember how absolutely in love Taylor was with him and how he would realize that he really messed up when he cheated on her because she was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he ruined it.

“wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all, down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all, it was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well” He remembers & recalls the exact same good moments of the relationship that she does.

[szopenhauer]

Are you the type of person who gets straight to the point?: I try my best to explain things but ppl still don’t understand the obvious

What was the last thing you said in complete caps?: not sure what was last

Do you enjoy playing board games?: some

Did you wear anything new today?: pineapple shirt my mom bought for me recently

Do you ever eavesdrop on people’s conversations?: hard not to when they’re so loud

Are you good at playing Hide and Go Seek?: I was because I’m tiny XD

Who or what made you smile last?: my thoughts 

What was the last song you had on repeat?: Daisy by Ashnikko :x

Do you often have that song on repeat?: no that was one time only lol  I hardly ever have a son on repeat, that happened like 5 times in my entire life, usually after breakup

Silly string or confetti?: fun but too messy and waste of money so none

How long is your favorite song?: about 3.50

What was the highlight of your day today?: it’s complicated

Do you tap your foot when you listen to music?: I tap but mostly due to anxiety ^^”

Would you rather use tape or glue?: tape 

Homemade or store bought cards?: store bought 

Do you listen to any hip hop?: nah

How about some lyrics?: I'm tired of weakness Tired of my feet of clay I'm tired of days to come I'm tired of yesterday And all the worn out things that I ever said Now it's much too late The words stay in my head (...) I'm tired of Facebook Tired of my failing health I'm tired of everyone And that includes myself Well being alone now It doesn't bother me But not knowing if you are That's been hell you see 

Have you ever had a fascination with stickers? slightly

Have you ever seen A Walk To Remember? yeah Did you ever watch Captain Planet? I did Do you think that Uggs are ugly? I love them Have you ever watched That ‘70’s show? meh Do you get along with your sibling’s friends? we don’t know each other Do you have a fashion icon? sorta, not really Do you think that iCarly is annoying? possibly

Have you ever had a really bad haircut? sadly

What are your favorite type of calendars? pocket?  Could you spend hours on pinterest? just a couple of minutes  Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? I liked that Who were your best friends in high school? K.K. E.E. E.W. Ż.B.

Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? bottom Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I got a note in elementary, it’s a mystery to this day, I thought that it’s a response from M.N. after I left him one myself but it seemed to be a prank done by girls who’ve been bullying me so I threw that piece of paper angrily at him like it was his fault - I still kinda remember what was written on it, they called me a flower and left a tiny drawing - later, forgot how, I found that note again and I believe I might still have it stored somewhere  What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? as a kid I had 1 sleepover (same school in which the note situation happened) my friend P.W. had puppies and I was allowed to stay for the night in her house Do you currently live in the city you grew up in? mhm What’s one way in which you’re behind the times? ex. getting a job  What’s one way in which you’re still a child? ex. collecting stuffed animals, lots What’s one way in which you’re old? ex. health issues Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? both at different times What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? money? Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? neither, I hold grudge and don’t trust the person again, at least for a long time  Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? in primary most of them were, in middle school: polish, biology, chemistry and math and in high: russian, english, PE and physics (but I probably shouldn’t count it as we had it for a few months) Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? - What time of day were you born? half past midnight, my mother asked me why I’m so lazy as for someone who was born on Saturday and I responded with - I was sleeping in and was late for Friday What is the best hairstyle you’ve ever had? can’t choose Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? I’m used to my color but I wouldn’t mind dyed hair Do you ever listen to Celtic music? me and John had a phase on that back in the day, I wish I remind the titles... Have you ever wanted to be a model, actress, singer, or dancer? actress When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? pfft Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? got darker, less red  Do you wear matching socks? always but recently I thought about changing that fact Do you have a seashell collection? Do you have a rock collection? small Flamingos or pineapples? both Cacti or seashells? same but it’s harder to take care of cacti than shells haha Maple tree or palm tree? palm, ppl say maple looks like weed - I don’t think this way but that’s annoying, still I’d prefer maple trees irl!  Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? wind chimes but not every kind Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? <3

Are you a pyromaniac? Bu is :P Are you a kleptomaniac? wtf Do you like to wear belts? it’s uncomfy and not good for my belly Would you ever get dreadlocks? I could but I won’t Do you listen to Eminem? no way

Does your sibling have a significant other? my sister is married 

When and why is the last time you cried (or at least, shed tears)? yesterday?

Have you ever cried at a real wedding? not that I been to many but no

What do your flipflops look like? don’t own any

Are there any gadgets of yours that need charging right now? my cellphone is charging

Which awards show would you wanna go to the most (e.g Oscars, Grammys etc.)? I wanna go to MET gala, nothing else

Any idea what time you’ll be going to bed tonight? late

Does your significant other like the same colour as you do? she hates my fav colors besides black 

Have you ever purchased anything online? obvi

Name all your friends whose name starts with the 4th letter of your first name. ...

Have you ever ridden an elephant? I’d like to (and camel and an ostrich and a horse)

Are you the candle lighting type? am not

Coffee in the morning, yay or nay? nay

Anal sex, yay or nay? hell no

Blue lipstick, yay or nay? okay, whatever

Is this question lame: “Have you had sex?” yep

Have you ever dated someone with really crooked teeth? mine are crooked

Would you rather vacation on the beach, or in the mountains? beach What embarrassing music do you listen to? too embarassed to write down? What’s your biggest talent? talented? me? r u kidding?

If you were a candy bar, what would you be? Milky Way? Would you rather ride in a hot air balloon or hang-glide? air balloon What’s one word you want people to use to describe you? truth is most important, everything else is less 

Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? tons of books

Are you more of a visual learner or an auditory learner? I learn best with my hands (kinesthetic) but visual is probably easier than auditory to me 

Do you have any dietary restrictions? ugh...

Do you prefer Google Maps, Apple Maps, Waze, or something else? I get lost no matter what

How old does someone have to be for you to see them as an adult? about my age or older

Do you ever ‘manspread’ when you sit down? sorry but I don’t sit like a lady - I sit like a lesbian unless there’s no space for that

When was the last time you were in a crowded place, and where was it? bus this day

Have you ever turned down a job offer? had to

What was the last medical appointment you scheduled? scheduled plenty at once

Have you ever had a dream in which you died? I die often, it’s a common element in my dreams, I’m fine with it by now

Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport?  oh well... majority of those times I was able to but once it was an accident and I missed my stop while going to school

Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? almost Have you seen all the Hunger Games films? yasss Why did you last go see a doctor? control visit about my IBS, GERD, food intolerances... Are you more logical or creative? depends

What do you currently hear? parents talking, music - iamamiwhoami; shadowshow 

Did you get enough sleep last night? I slept a little over 3 hours and I feel tired  Are the streetlights on? it’s not dark yet When you wear a hoodie, do you pull the sleeves over your hands? when it’s warm for that or they bother me in what I’m doing Are you in any advanced classes at school? w moim profilu miałam rozszerzone historię i WOK (wiedza o kulturze) Did you have a good day today? it wasn’t the worst (compared) and hope it won’t turn into complete shit 

[rxmvns-blog1]

                𝐇𝐈,  𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒  !  i’m  𝒅𝒓𝒊  (twenty,  she/her,  pst)  !  i  was  late  posting  my  intro  for  the  first  iteration  for  pinky,  so  nothing  has  really  changed,  huh  ?  some  fun  facts  about  me  are  that  i  have  the  incredibly  dangerous  combo  of  high  ambition  and  poor  time  management  and  i’d  risk  it  all  for  a.c.e,  ateez,  and  loona  !  i’m  back  with  ya  fav  skater  eboy(?)  roman,  so  if  you’re  interested  in  plotting  connections,  feel  free  to  im  me  or  ask  for  my  discord  (where  i  would  be  way  easier  to  reach)  !

                *  𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒊  𝒔𝒂𝒏.  𝒉𝒆/𝒉𝒊𝒎.  𝒄𝒊𝒔  𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆.  ╱  i  am  pretty  sure  i  saw  𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏  𝒋𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈  at  manon’s  party  that  night.  the  𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚  year  old  is  in  their  𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒅  year  at  west  bridge  studying  𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒎.  i  hear  they  were  at  manon’s  party  because  𝒉𝒆  𝒘𝒂𝒔  𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅  𝒕𝒐  𝒃𝒆  𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒂  𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅  𝒖𝒑  𝒃𝒖𝒕  𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏’𝒕  𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅  𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.  i  wonder  if  they  got  the  same  restricted  call  as  us.  will  they  comply?  +  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒕  𝒐𝒇  𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒍𝒚  𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒆𝒅  𝒄𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆,  𝒑𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒊𝒅𝒔  𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅  𝒐𝒏  𝒂  𝒃𝒆𝒅𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒎  𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒍,  𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆  𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅  𝒊𝒏  𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔  𝒂𝒕  𝟐𝒂𝒎.

c://roman_jeong//quick_stats.txt

full name: roman jeong / jeong jinwoo (정진우)

age: twenty

pronouns: he/him, cis male

orientation: bisexual

zodiac: scorpio

place of birth: san jose, california

c://roman_jeong//history.txt

born in san jose, california, roman lived with his parents and little sister clarissa until the age of eight, when his mom left them in pursuit of an old flame from high school that she apparently never got over. their dad tried to raise them for maybe… a few months… before realizing he had close to no parenting ability. he and clarissa were sent to live with their rich aunt in wisconsin, and they’ve been there ever since.

listen… their aunt turned out to be a Helicopter Mom to them and it was… super suffocating, especially to roman. she expected so much out of them and tried to force her own dreams onto them but he was just Not Feeling It. he’d always hit her with the “ur not even my real mom” line. despite being a rather intelligent dude with a relatively quick wit, he put the bare minimum into school (especially around the halfway point in high school) … but still lowkey wanted to do well. he was the guy who always found a way to get test answers inconspicuously and found ways to work around the turnitin system, ya feel? tl;dr: smart and capable, but incredibly unmotivated

when he was fifteen, he found out (while eavesdropping on one of his aunt’s phone calls) that his dad had gotten remarried and had twins with his new wife, a girl and a boy. furious over the fact that this was kept a secret from him for two years, he went to rant about it to his sister, who told him that they should just keep pretending like they don’t know. roman suddenly couldn’t hear, and during dinner that night, he brought it up and it was an angsty time.

after this revelation, he began Acting Out more because he hated the idea that their dad just sent them away almost like it was nothing but ended up raising an entirely new family of his own afterward. it started to feel like it was him and his sister against the world, and even to this day he would do anything for her. he got into fights a lot in high school because he gets defensive and doesn’t know when to Stop. his temper is… so short…

he took a photography class his junior year high school and just… really enjoyed it?? it was practically the only class he actually wanted to Try in. his teacher noticed this, and they ended up being pretty close. when roman wasn’t out messing around, he spent a lot of time hanging in the classroom and talking about life and photography. probably the One adult he respected, but his teacher ended up moving to new york shortly after he graduated high school. it felt like he was being abandoned once again (yikes!!!) even tho he knew it had nothing to do with him.

but yeah, for the past few years, roman has just been studying film (his aunt thinks he’s there for engineering but he did a switchy switch… haha keep it a secret!), doing freelance photography on the side, and fuckin’ shit up ! his sister is currently going to school in california, and her decision to attend berkeley lowkey rubbed him the wrong way since it’s relatively close to where their dad lives and he doesn’t want thim to reach out to clarissa or anything because he’s supposed to be dead to them.

c://roman_jeong//personality.txt

people think roman comes off as intimidating, but they’re not entirely wrong. he takes a while to warm up to people, and even then, he doesn’t have a lot of actual friends.

he doesn’t express it often, but he would literally do anything for his sister and close friends. can be incredibly protective. no kidding, his sister has complained that people didn’t want to date her because they were afraid of him KJDHGDSG

you know that friend who is able to find a persons facebook page and essentially everything about them with very, very minimal information given? yeah, that’s roman. he :// lowkey keeps up with his dad through facebook bc all of his wife’s posts are public :// he looks at posts of their family and just Suffers… it’s so bad!!!

he is the type of person that won’t share his own food but eats other people’s.

listen… you didn’t hear it from me… but he’s really just a softie… he’s just scared

doesn’t know what it’s like not to hold a grudge

acts on impulse and emotion often

c://roman_jeong//fun_facts.txt

can and will argue about the superiority of ice cream over frozen yogurt

has an emotional connection to cats and will stop to pet one; also has a cat and he loves her with his entire being

is sustained by coffee and sarcasm; drinks his coffee black

romcoms are his guilty pleasure tho they lowkey make him feel a sort of longing

his bedroom wall is covered in polaroids, which are of his friends, scenery, and neighborhood stray cats! but mostly his friends. he loves taking pictures of his friends :/ he also loves the idea of polaroids capturing a singular moment unlike how digital cameras can be used to get the Perfect Shot after like… 30 tries

has that one second every day app

mildly allergic to bananas but didn’t realize it until he asked a friend if they liked the tingly feeling they get when they eat bananas

pushing people around in shopping carts at 2am/being pushed is one of his favorite pastimes

“u can’t wear thrasher unless u can deepthroat an entire skateboard” is his instagram bio and he thinks thrasher elitists can choke. bought all of his friends black thrasher hoodies for christmas in an act of spite.

going off of that, he started saying “sk8 or die” ironically but now he can’t stop

will look you in the eyes when he holds a conversation; this is sometimes terrifying bc it rly looks like he’s staring into your SOUL but tbh he just be like that

can solve rubix cubes very fast!! when he was 13 he once spent an entire night studying rubix cube algorithms online bc he didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t solve one

walks fast DGJHGS like slow down speed racer where r u goin

c://roman_jeong//that_night.txt

roman didn’t even want to Be at the party, let alone get entangled in the Big Mess

he showed up around 15 minutes before they found manon’s body, only in the area to pick up a friend after receiving a phone call

he went inside to seek them out, but little did he know what would take place 5 minutes later.

he finds it kinda unfair (and shitty karma) that he was brought into everything… but then again, a girl Died, so he doesn’t really have the right to complain.

[ourbastardofsorrows]

*cracks knuckles* Aster, balsam fir, candytufts, cock's comb, freesia, garden cosmos, hellebore, hydrangea, lantanas, larkspur, tulip, wolf's bane & zinnia!

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“maybe i’ve always been more comfortable in chaos” - florence + the machine

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

maybe? idk. i think i might be right now

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

i guess when someone says something that shows they really paid attention and remembered what i said when i was talking about something that’s important to me

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

i’m always a slut for like. any kind of old-timey weathered looking font or any font that looks like it belongs on the poster for a campy 1950s horror movie

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

1) my sister’s in a spot where she can start getting her teeth fixed (boo for fucky genetics that ruin everybody’s teeth but yay for getting teeth fixed)!

2) on my preliminary teaching evaluation, i was only .05 points off from the score i need for my final evaluation and i know exactly what i need to do to get that passing score. once the schools reopen, that is... :1

(okay idk how but i hit the 1 instead of the backslash key and i kinda like how that emoticon looks. it’s a mood tbh)

3) one of my students showed me pictures of his dogs! he has a german shepherd mix & a rescued bulldog mix (the bulldog mix only has one eye)

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

honestly? not super great. i’m still fighting off a major wave of depression brain fog, but i finished watching the video lecture and doing the worksheet for that and i even dewrinkled my fabric and cut out all the interfacing pieces i’ll need for the dress i’m making

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

through gift-giving and compliments (so many compliments lmao) and either physically or digitally spending time with people!

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

about 13 years now! we met in high school

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

one time my mom asked if i’d bought one of the dresses i sewed, and that was pretty nice! the time an elderly punk gentleman said “i like your boots, sister” is definitely on the list of best compliments i’ve received. and idk if this counts as a compliment, but the cute lady at my fav greek restaurant saying i seem “artsy” was fun

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

i try not to unless i’m reflecting on what i need to change to be a better person lmao.

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

honestly? it’s nothing material but just spending time doing something we’d both enjoy and being present & in the moment during that

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

i want to have my teaching license and my own classroom, with regular therapy & maybe even psychiatric appointments. i want to be happy, like genuinely happy as a baseline mood instead of an anomaly, and i want to be able to spend time with my friends again

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself. 

whenever i’m doing a sewing project, i usually coax myself to sleep by mentally walking myself through all the steps/alterations i’ll be doing. a fun side effect is that it means i’m a lot better prepared to do the project because i’ve put so much thought into the “how” beforehand!

[chvrrybaby]

*itzy  vc*  hey  hey  hey   !   (  i  see  that  i’m  icy  )   what’s  up,  i’m  diana,  i’m  nineteen,  and  i’m  ur  resident  girl  group  stan.  i  reside  in  the  est  timezone  &  go  by  the  pronouns  she/her.  now,  finally  introducing  ...  loona    !!   jk,  her  name  is  blair  &  u  can  learn  abt  her  under  the  cut   !   my  discord  is  lana del rey is coming <3#5522   (  stream  her  new  album  august  30th  ),  so  feel  free  to  message  me  there  or  through  tumblr  im’s  if  u  prefer  that   !   otherwise,  i’ll  come  to  u <3

—  kim doyeon. she/her. cis female. | was that blair ryu i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the nineteen year old spends most of their time working as a sugar baby/studying classic literature and women’s studies, but i’ve always just seen them writing in her dream journal. they live in 5A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of loosely curled hair, cherry lip gloss, the lingering scent of vanilla in the air.

(    𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫.   )

born on october 5th, 1999  ( this is literally a day before my bday ooc but anyway ajkdhsjdh )  in rochester, new york, blair’s first impression of the world was a crisp autumn day

she was her parents first and only child. her mother was an elementary school teacher, while her father worked at a nearby power plant in ontario

the family never made too much money, but they were able to get by, at least at first

she had a fairly happy childhood, though it was a lonely one. her father was always working odd hours, and with her mother gone during the day, she spent most of her time with a babysitter and the family golden retriever

eventually, she herself started going to school. she immediately excelled in the english department and fell in love with reading. blair realized early on how much she enjoyed escaping reality with a novel, immersing herself in a story so exciting compared to her dull life

almost everything was fine until her high school years. aside from the fact that she never had a present father figure, she was closer to her mom and still loved by both of her parents. however, when her high school years came around, her father lost his job

her father was the families main provider, and her mothers salary alone would not be enough to take care of the entire family. while he searched for another job, they had to give away the family golden retriever to one of blair’s aunts because they couldn’t afford the extra cost :(

on top of losing her beloved pet, the loss of her father’s job prompting the family to pick up and move their entire life

already in the midst of high school, blair had to leave her life as she knew it behind. the family moved to statesboro, georgia, and her father found a job at the nearby power plant

the transition to life in georgia was not easy for blair. though she didn’t exactly have trouble making friends, she didn’t feel like she could truly connect with anyone

once again, blair turned to losing herself in a book to pass the time

shortly after the move to georgia, her parents experienced some difficulties within their marriage. they ended up separating, and blair spent the remainder of her high school years living with each of them for half of the time

she did not mind her parents separating, as she knew it was for the best. however, her father found a girlfriend fairly quickly, and blair would eventually find out her father had been having an affair

her father spent most of his free time with his new girlfriend and her family. blair was upset at how he prioritized his the new people in his life over her when he was barely ever around for her growing up

meanwhile, her mother was having trouble adjusting to being alone, so she moved back to new york to live with her sister

blair stayed behind in georgia to finish high school, but knew she wanted to go elsewhere for college. she wanted to get as far away from her father and his new life as possible

once blair turned eighteen, she began to sell pictures for money. she wanted to earn as much as possible so she could afford to go away for university. she created an alias and began to sell pictures and videos of her feet. eventually, she expanded her horizons once she realized how much money she could earn

she never went as far as sleeping with her clients, but she would go on dates with them and spend the days with them to earn more money ( kind of like ludovica/chiara in the italian show baby on netflix minus sleeping w them )

she dated a few people throughout her high school years, and began to more “seriously” date a guy during her senior year in high school, though she knew the relationship wouldn’t last. despite appearing as a more serious relationship, to her, it wasn’t really anything of the sort, and she mostly wanted a relationship for senior prom and other trivialities

after senior year ended and she had accepted admission into uni in seattle, she basically cut ties with everyone in georgia aksdjskdjh she said good bye forever ! rip poor unnamed boyfriend he didn’t see it coming ...

her father also did not see it coming because she didn’t even tell him where she applied. but at the same time, did he ask ? no :/

once she left for uni, her relationship with her father became very very estranged. she still speaks to her mom on a pretty regular basis, but even then, she has a whole secret life and doesn’t feel particular close to either of them sjkdfhskdjh

and that’s that for background !

(   𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀.   )

blair is a libra sun leo moon ( rising sign & other placements tbd )

she is definitely a friendly/sociable person. she can be pretty outgoing and loves to be around people. idk her mbti yet but she is def an extrovert ! ( she does tend to keep her feelings to herself tho )

despite her friendly demeanor, she does have a fiery spirit. if u wrong her she will hold a grudge against u until it gets settled/sorted. she can be more on the mean side when she’s upset, but even then she does not have a bad heart at all

when it comes to relationships, blair is all over the place. she can be very flirty/charismatic and is constantly hopping from one relationship to the next. she hasn’t quite been able to settle down, but it is possible. she kind of thinks being in a real relationship means losing her freedom, because that’s kind of what she saw happen with her parents, so she doesn’t really want to be tied down to someone in fear of losing herself in a way. does this make sense ? maybe ? ok !

blair has a fairly strong sense of self, but she’s still very young so she’s still growing and changing. she is the type of person to know what she wants and go after it ( yes, even with ppl ! ). she will stop at nothinggg to get what she wants ( oop ). u could say she loves the chase, but kind of gets bored afterwards unless u have more to offer !

omg she literally loves 2 be the center of attention. i mean, who doesn’t love attention ? but blair takes it 2 another level. she gets all :( if she’s being ignored or isn’t receiving enough attention

kind of bouncing off the whole attention thing, blair loves a good party ! she’s young and here for a good time. she def loves to drink at parties and stuff even tho she isn’t legal here in the us, why should that stop her am i right ? when it comes to drugs, she’s a veryyy casual user and doesn’t do anything crazy. a social weed smoker n will do pills here and there

being a libra sun with a leo moon, i think it’s safe to say she can be a bit dramatic at times ( i mean, as a libra sun with a leo venus i am not one 2 judge xx ). she reads 2 much and watches 2 many movies like ajkdhsjkhd life rly isn’t that serious but she can b a lil overdramatic sometimes whew ! we told u this was melodrama ... lorde stans make some noise !

blair’s fav books are anything by jane austen and les liaisons dangereuses by pierre choderlos de laclos, aka the book cruel intentions was based on ( which happens 2 be one of her fav movies )

shows she loves: gossip girl ( she shares a name w blair so she probably used 2 call herself queen b in high school or something ), desperate housewives ( no wonder this binch is so dramatic ), big little lies, pretty little liars ( the early seasons only ), the netflix show baby, and buffy the vampire slayer

movies she loves: clueless, almost famous, thoroughbreds, moulin rouge, palo alto, marie antoinette, coyote ugly, american beauty, cruel intentions, and valley of the dolls ( to name a few )

her fav colors are pink, red, and white !

u can find her pinterest board here.

she is bisexual babey !!

(   𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.   )

party buddies - this is pretty basic and self explanatory, but someone blair can go out and have fun with. their friendship might be more surface level, or started that way at least, but it’s possible they’re closer friends ( maybe she opened up under the influence and it brought them closer aksdhsdjh drunk blair def would )

ex-fling/gf/bf - blair relationship hops, so she could have quite a few of these. we can plot it however, there can b feelings there, they can hate each other, of they can be just friends now, u name it !

unrequited crush -  ur character could have feelings for blair, but maybe she doesn’t feel them back or is unaware that they like her. this could develop into her eventually having feelings for ur muse or not, whatever we want ! OR blair could def have a crush on someone who does not like her back. maybe that person is super non-committal, or they simply do not like her back. we could plot this out however <3

current fling/friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing/sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t.

enemies w benefits - imagine the tension!!! they started out hating each other, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. i think it would b cool if they kept it a secret, they don’t want anyone else to know. this could develop in soooo many ways !

ex-friends - someone she used to consider a close friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they hate each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how

sibling-like friendship - someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other and look out for one another, always have each other’s backs. being an only child and not really close to her parents, blair would love a friend that she could basically call family !

dynamic duo - basically like her current best friend. this person is prob one of the closest people to her and knows her very well ! they could b a power duo, always looking out for each other 

take care - someone who kind of looks after her ?? maybe when she parties a lil too hard and drinks a lil too much, someone who kind of takes care of her n makes sure shes ok ! they would be someone she trusts a lottttt

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private

rivals - they hate each other for whatever reason. maybe it’s jealousy or their personalities just clash, but for whatever reason they do not get along. i love a good enemies plot. they can just b nasty to each other !!! maybe they bring out a really bad side to blair that most ppl dont see. someone who makes her act like blair waldorf ( i’m def kidding abt the blair waldorf part )

bad influence - blair isn’t a goody-two-shoes by any means, but doesn’t really do anything crazy, so i’d luvv for someone to kind of influence her to do shit she normally wouldn’t on her own

these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll prob make a plots page later on and add more stuff !

so this is everything !! this has taken me longer than it should have but i’m finally done whew,,, cheers 2 me <3 anyway i would absolutely luv to plot, so feel free to hit me up on discord or tumblr im’s, or i can also come to u ! i’m so excited to get started <333 i’m gonna b logging off now most likely, since it’s 3 am my time, but i’ll be back in the morning

[yougonnashootme]

»» concept: modern diverse 𝕗.𝕣.𝕚.𝕖.𝕟.𝕕.𝕤. remake

jameela jamil as rachel green ↠ after ditching rich fiancé, barry, in the middle of ceremony after a one-night stand with a girl, rachel becomes an outcast to her own family. luckily, rachel accidentally meets monica geller in the coffee shop, and she’s pity her and lets rachel stay as her roommate. green was shallow, a huge bitch to everyone in high school, sometimes even to monica who was her best friend back in the days. with losing all her money and privileges, rachel becomes more responsible and not so self-absorbed. eventually, with lots of ups & downs in her tough and dramatic (like her) life, she becomes a wholesome person who tries her best and brings best in others. vegetarian, animal rights activist, body-positivity activist, future designer, works as barista, bisexual. relationships with best friends - monica (roommates, bff since high school - with ups and downs, loves her a lot), chandler (her fav among guys, really good friend, ends up talking serious talks with him), phoebe (almost enemies at first sight but quickly become bff), joey (a small crush), ross (intense romantic story with tons of breakups and makeups). aiysha hart as monica geller ↠ monica is a very bossy, opinionated, strict and competitive person. obsessive-compulsive “mom” of the group, it’s not surprising she takes rachel under her wing. monica works as a chef, but she is not appreciated enough and is underpaid. monica’s biggest dream - to open her own restaurant. monica suffered from an overweight, therefore, she’s obsessed with healthy food and sport. she is really bad with dates and often feels lonely. even though she has a warm heart, she is a fan of “tough love” approach. quite close to her brother but they never discuss their problems or serious stuff. a fun drunk. demisexual. relationships with best friends - rachel (friends since high school, monica was in love with her), phoebe (loves this weirdo with whole heart), chandler (had a small crush in high school), joey (considers way too childish but loves her a lot), ross (older brother, always arguing and competing but deep inside - love each other). godfrey gao as phoebe buffay ↠ phoebe is a huge weirdo who has no shame and regrets, like, at all. he adores living full careless bohemian-style life and never has been stressed about anything. open-minded, incredibly optimistic and, probably, funniest person ever. he grew up in foster families because his mom ended her own life when phoebe was a child, and father was out of the picture. has a twin brother with whom he hadn’t spoken for years. so, his friends are his family and he cares very deeply about them. he writes and sings his own strange songs, accompanying himself on the guitar. actually genius and a nerd. freelancer, waits tables at the same restaurant monica works, art person, a street singer. gay. relationships with best friends - monica (former roommates, living with her was too much but they are still besties), joey (pure platonic love), rachel (didn’t like her but then become a number one stan), ross (always arguing but in an intellectual way, share a mutual respect, had a strong feelings for him when they first met but eventually it fades away), chandler (drinking buddies & just great bros). ana de armas as joey tribbiani ↠ joey is a struggling actress who wants to be taken seriously and to work on really valuable and inspiring projects. she’s a charismatic player, always dates someone. actually, that’s because she’s afraid to be alone. she grew up in a big family, and joey loves them and misses a lot since she left spain. secretly, joey hopes to find her one true love and to start her own family but that has been a challenge so far. incredibly childish and naive. even though she looks like a bad bitch, she actually one pure and kind soul. loves kids, works as a part-time nanny between endless auditions and castings. food lover. dumb at first sight, but actually has interesting thoughts. refuses to claim any sexuality prefers (98% lesbian). suffers from bipolar disorder. relationships with best friends - chandler (roommates, besties, developed a bond probably since the day one of living together), ross (meet through chandler, develop a strong friendship, slept once), phoebe (huge platonic love, joey - his wingman), rachel (secretly believes she’s her soulmate but suppresses her feelings), monica (had a small crush).  lakeith stanfield as chandler bing ↠ anxious precious bean who deserves the world. chandler has a peculiar family history being the son of an erotic novelist mother and a gay, cross-dressing las vegas star father. chandler is known for his sarcastic sense of humor and bad luck in relationships. it was weird for him to be roommates with a woman but he and joey have developed such bond, chandler can’t understand why it seemed strange to him in a first place. it-guy in a large, multinational corporation. hates his job but “it’s good money”. writes his sci-fi novel in spare time, hopes to publish it someday and become a professional writer. bisexual, open to polyamory relationships. has clinical depression and abandonment issues. relationships with best friends - ross (bff since high school, strong manly friendship, or what they want everyone to see there), joey (roommates and share intense amazing friendship), rachel (somehow she’s the one who understands him the most, often share a “heart to heart” talk), monica (at first, he didn’t like her but then she grew up on him), phoebe (hella good friends, drinking buddies).  justin baldoni as ross geller ↠ his family is actually rich and ross doesn’t feel bad taking money from his parents. who, by the way, loves him a lot more than his sister, monica, which is a basic foundation for siblings’ constant arguing and competitions. when his wife, carol, comes out as a lesbian (also pregnant with ross baby) and files for divorce, he develops huge trust issues and prejudices against not straight people. eventually, ross begins to grow and change and evolve as a person, as he gradually learns tolerance, acceptance, and understanding of others doings. has a doctor’s degree in paleontology. history and science enthusiast. goofy playboy with a warm heart. very nerdy and awkward but tries not to show it. relationships with best friends - chandler (bff since high school, wants everyone to see this friendship as “manly men hang out”), joey (strong friendship, besties, even though slept once a while back), phoebe (loves this guy a lot, even though didn’t like his weirdness at first), rachel (romance with ups and downs), monica (younger sister, tense competitive relationships but deep down - they love each other). 

[distanceiskillingmetoo-blog]

Brighter - Shawn Mendes (3)

Juliette Petit is a 25 years old French artist, who’s performing at the grammy’s. After meeting one of her best buds after her performance, she met someone new. Everything is history after that.At first, I wanted it to be a one shot. But I got carried away.

English isn’t my mother tongue, so I’m sorry if I made mistakes.

“Can I ask you a question?” Shawn asked on the phone. “If I say no, would you still ask your question?” “Yep!” He laughed. “So go ahead.” “I know that you came to London to work on your music, but before that, what were you doing?” “I was working with children by day, and singing in bars by night. Not as crazy as you being discovered!”

“You probably were so exhausted doing all of this.” “At that time, I didn’t think it was exhausting, because I was having fun at night,” I smiled a bit too much explaining this to Shawn. “My friends were there, and I could do anything I wanted, either it was my own songs or covers. Plus it included a lot of free booze, and I was so down for it.” “I bet you were.” “Are still missing those vine days?” I asked. “I mean the days when you were just at home?”

“As crazy as it sounds, sometimes I do. Because being away all the time can be hard because I miss my mom, my dad and my sister.” “I know what you mean… Sometimes I think I miss a lot of my nephews and niece’s lives. I talk a lot to my brothers and my in-laws, but the kids they’re still pretty young.” I sighed. “But living your dream doesn’t come with no effort. So I made peace with myself about it now.” “Juliette, you’re such a strong person!” “That’s because I am older than you, I’m wiser.” I laughed. “You wish you were. Miss I-drunk-to-much last night.” “Heyyyy that’s not fair!” I said. “You’re just jealous, you can’t drink as much as me and the boys. You’re bitter because you’re underage to be able to drink in the US, so you can’t drink wherever you want. But don’t blame us people, who are old enough to drink anywhere they want in the world, because we are drunk sometimes.” He laughed. “Especially after a hard day at the studio. We needed a way to loosen up a little.”

Me and Shawn were on the phone.. We didn’t talk about music anymore, but I decided the boys didn’t need to know about that because they would have teased me non stop.

“I have to go to sleep, I have a meeting tomorrow morning!” “Okay, have a good night.” Shawn said. “Have a great day Mendes!” “Bye Juliette.”

-

I was up at 10 am for an appointment with a tattoo artist. I was getting a new tattoo today and I couldn’t wait. I was in a rushed on the busy streets of London. As it was beginning to rain, I opened the door of the saloon a bit too hard.

“I’m sorry Vic, it’s not me, it’s ‘cause of the rain.” “Don’t worry Juliette!” He laughed. “Are you nervous?” “Nope, it’s not my first one, but I just can’t wait to have it!”

I had a few tattoos already, but the one I was getting today, was one I wanted for a long time. A rose on my forearm. It will complete my forearm.

“So, I just done this draft with the colors and everything.” Vic gave me the paper. “What do you think of it?” “Wow,” I smiled. “That’s beautiful, don’t change anything. I love it like that.” I couldn’t stop smiling. “You’re so talented! Just do it already damn!” Vic laughed. “Let me getting ready and we’ll do it.”

I sit down in the waiting room while he was getting ready. I was on instagram liking pictures and scrolling. I decided to film me to post on my story.

“Hello everyone, it’s not even 11am in London town, and I’m already up. No studio for me today. I am about to do something I wanted for a while in a few minutes. And just can’t wait. As soon as I can I’ll let you know what it is. Mwah Mwah Mwah!” I finished the video by sending kisses to the viewers of my stories.

Vic said to me, he was ready and in a little less than 1 hour he was done. His work was so good. It wasn’t the first time he worked his magic on me, and I knew it wasn’t the last time either. Wherever I was in the world, if I wanted a tattoo, I would go see him or one of my friends.

“That’s beyond what I imagined you were going to do. Thank you Vic, seriously! That’s perfect,” I smiled. “I love it! You always blow my mind with your talent.” “Always a pleasure to work on you.” He smiled.

It was a good time to enjoy London, as it didn’t rain anymore. We even got a little sun. It was a perfect Wednesday. I was going to go to lunch with one of my girl friends on her lunch break. We find each other in Soho next to her work place.

“Hey girl!” “Juliette I’ve missed you!” She said hugging me. “Missed you too,” I answered smiling a bit. “I know i’ve been a bit MIA since I came back from the grammy’s but-” “You had this song in your head, and you had to work on it.” she smiled. “I know you, don’t worry! I’m so proud of your performance!” “Thank you,” I smiled. “You have to tell me everything about the red carpet and your performance!! and damn I knew you were bold, but giving up your heels to Sarah to put your vans at the grammy’s, I was so proud!”

“awww Lisa, you don’t even know how scared I was walking the red carpet with those heels”, I said laughing. “But when Seacrest told me I could do it, I didn’t wait another minute. That’s not the best part. You know who I met on the red carpet?” “Who?” “I met Diplo. He was so sweet with me.” We laughed. “But I almost fainted when Katy Perry and Lady Gaga walked through me.” I smiled. “Oh shit,” she laughed really hard. “And nobody has any footage of it, that’s a shame!” “Thank god! I think with my vans’ story it’s better to not have anything more on my plate at the grammy’s.”

“Any good after parties?” “I didn’t go to any official after party.” “But? Because there is a but.” “After our performance, I talked a bit with Josiah and he invited us at the party to his friend’s home.” I smiled. “So we went to his friend. His friend being Shawn Mendes.” Lisa blinked a few times. “You mean, you went to his house?” “Yep,” I said laughing. “The video of Josiah and me singing to Bon Jovi was at Shawn’s house in LA, the house he rented when he’s more than just a few days in town.” “Oh my god, Juliette!” “andweretalkingeverydaysincethen!” “What?” She asked smiling. “Don’t make me say it again.” “You have to tell me everything…” She said. “Now!”

I explained everything to her. As much as I loved my guys, I couldn’t talk about Shawn to them. But I could with my girl friends. Especially Lisa. She’s been here with me through thick and thin for years now. I told her our session on Skype working on Paralyzed.

I told her how sometimes he said something cute to me, and I didn’t respond as it mades me uncomfortable and comfortable as the same time. I told her how it happened a few times that I fell asleep being on the phone with Shawn and I knew that in the morning because he was saying it by text.

“This guy is so cute!” “That’s the problem… This guy is cute.” “Is it really a problem?” She asked. “I don’t see one.” “But he’s way younger than me…” I sighed. “Juliette, seriously…” “I’m 25 and he’s 20. That’s young. I can’t go too deep into this thing going on.” “You should ask him.” she smiled at me. “Be bold and ask him…” “You know me, you know it’s easier for me to write a song and sing, than just talk to someone.” “I know, but if you ignore him, that would be awkward as hell.” “I don’t want to ignore him,” I sighed. “That’s the worst part.” I laughed. “You have a crush on someone.” “I won’t deny it to you, but I will deny it to the guys!” I laughed. “They’re already giving me a hard time about him. No need to give them anything more.” “I still think, you should clear everything with him…” “Maybe I’m just a fool, and I’m just assuming things.” I sighed. “I’m sure that’s it. No big deal.” “Juliette….” “I’ll see him in Paris at his show…” I sighed once again. “I’ll try to grow some balls and talk to him!” “Ok, now I have to talk to you about something work related.”

She told me she had a promotion at work. I was so proud of her. She was doing amazing at work and with her boyfriend Tim. They were great together. One of my favorite couple ever, with Josiah and Sami.

If one day I was in a relationship like both of my friends were, I will be so happy. We ate and talked happily about anything too important, just catching up on our favorite tv shows and the bands we both like.

“Lisa, I didn’t even show you my last tattoo,” I said to her while taking off my hoodie. “Look it’s beautiful!” “Oh damn Juliette! This rose is a very elegant one, I love it. And the colors are beautiful.” “Yeah I agree with you,” I said putting my hoodie back on. “Vic has done an amazing job! It’s really perfect!”

We finished our lunch together and she went back to work. And I kept walking around London. I loved this city. Paris will always be home because my family are there, but London will always be MY home, where I’m truly feeling like myself. When I came here for the first time for my music, it was pretty intense. I didn’t sleep much, because I was always either at the studio or walking around the city. Discovering every neighborhood, every street, every park. I couldn’t let myself rest for a month. I was living the beginning of my dream, and I wanted to live it at 100%, at least. So yeah, Paris is home because it’s where I grew up and where my family is. But London it’s where my heart is.

It was time to put a new story on instagram. I took my phone out of my leather jacket and began recording myself.

“It’s me again people! I had lunch with one of my fav gals ever earlier and now I’m just daydreaming while walking in London. I can’t let you speculate over what I was doing this morning. So in the next story you’ll know! I love you all! See you very soon! Mwah mwah mwah!”

And I decided to upload this picture of my new tattoo.

FROM SHAWN: your new tattoo is hot you woman. Can’t wait to see it soon.

I didn’t respond to Shawn’s text as I really didn’t know what to say. He tried to call me 3 times right after that, but I didn’t answer his calls either.

FROM SHAWN: You must be busy, really wanted to hear you. Tomorrow?

TO SHAWN: sorry Mendes, I’m at a party right now. tomorrow I’ll be in Paris with my family, raincheck?

FROM SHAWN: no probs

What Shawn didn’t know was that I wasn’t at a party. I wanted nothing more than talk to him, but it was getting hard to not fall for him. I needed to distance myself a bit from him. At least for a few days. And being in Paris will help me. Because I will have a reason to not answer him all the time.

[the-depressed-shiny-buneary]

Interview Time: Main Cast

1. Hi! What's your name?

Ashley: Ashley Gabena Ketchum~

Grey: Grey Ichiro Ketchum. 

Alex: Uh, I’m Alex Manya Morgan.

Salvia: Hello~ I’m Salvia Miyamoto Jameson

Daichi: I’m the great Daichi Hikaru Maple.

2. Do you know why you were named that?

Ashley: Dad said it’s because he was told to by a legendary Pokemon. My middle name is my mom’s maiden name. And Ketchum is the family last name~

Grey: Dad didn’t want to name me Silver Jr. So he picked Grey because of my eye color. My middle name means ‘firstborn son’, and I’m the first one that was born.

Alex: I don’t know why my parents named me Alex. But I’m glad they did cause it’s a gender-neutral name. Meanwhile, my middle name means rebellious women. I think it fits me. 

Salvia: Dad named me after the flowers at their wedding, which were Salvias and they could be red or blue like either of their hair colors. Miyamoto is the name of granny from my mom’s side, she wanted some reminder of her mom.

Daichi: Daichi means grand or impressive first son, which I think fits me perfectly cause I’m mom’s first son and I will be grand and impressive. Hikaru, my middle name, means shining brilliance. Again, it fits me so well.

3. Your age?

Ashley: I’m eleven~

Grey: I’m sixteen.

Alex: I’m fourteen.

Salvia: I’m twelve~

Daichi: And I am fifteen~

4. Have any abilities or powers?

Ashley: I can understand Pokemon like my dad~ And I can cheer people up by singing, I don’t know anything else. (She doesn’t know she has Psychic abilities yet)

Grey: I can run really fast if that counts.

Alex: I guess being able to be mistaken for a boy and a girl...Despite the fact, I’m neither!!

Salvia: I don’t think so. I’m pretty normal.

Daichi: I don’t think so either. 5. What's your eye color?

Ashley: It’s blue, like my mom’s~

Grey: It’s gray, I think it’s from my dad.

Alex: My eyes are purple.

Salvia: I have blue eyes like Ashley~ Twins~

Daichi: I also have blue eyes. 6. How about hair color?

Ashley: Raven black, like my dad’s~

Grey: I think my dad said my hair color is crimson red, that or scarlet red. Or just plain red.

Alex: My hair is black.

Salvia: Blue~ Like my dad’s~

Daichi: It’s green...like my dad’s hair... 7. Have any family members?

Ashley: Yeah~ My mom, my dad, my twin brother and sister, my uncle Silver, my aunt Ciara, my cousins Grey and Katri, my granny Delia, my grandpa Red, lots of family members~

Grey: My dad, my mom, my little sister, my uncle, my aunt, my cousin, my grandparents. It’s a pretty big family.

Alex: My mom, my dad, and my older brother. I only really like my brother.

Salvia: Yup~ My mom, my dad, my grandparents and...I think that’s actually it.

Daichi: My mom, my dad...my stepdad...my half-sister...my grandpa Norman, my grandma Caroline, my uncle Max and some others.

8. Fav color?

Ashley: Orange and yellow~

Grey: Black, gray and white.

Alex: Purple, black, white, pink and blue.

Salvia: Blue~

Daichi: Green and brown.

9. Fav food and drink?

Ashley: Macarons and Moomoo milk~ Best combo~

Grey: Ramen and green tea. Mostly if said ramen was spicy.

Alex: I guess leek and potato soup, my brother made it for me when we moved to Kalos. It was really good. As for the drink, I guess water.

Salvia: I love rice balls and dangos~ Both are so yummy~ I also like green tea with honey~

Daichi: My mom makes the best curry~ That’s my favorite food~ Oh, and soda pop~

10. Who's your crush?

Ashley: I really like my friend Chetari~ I’d say she’s my crush~

Grey: I have a girlfriend, her name is Tina.

Alex: Monica’s my crush, I kind of hope she likes me back.

Salvia: I don’t have a crush per say, but I do think Apollo is attractive. *blushing* I would like to get to know him better~

Daichi: I like Sable, she’s really friendly.

11. If you have one, did you kiss yet?

Ashley: *giggles* I kissed her cheek~ She got really red and it was adorable~

Grey: Me and Tina kiss all the time. *small smile* I like her kisses.

Alex: *blushes heavily* N-N-No... I want to though...

Salvia: *blushing* O-Oh my, k-kissing... Th-That seems a b-bit bold...

Daichi: I mean...I kissed the back of her hand but...not on the cheek or lips... *blushes*

12. Your hobbies?

Ashley: Oh, dancing, singing, gardening, sewing, baking, and parkouring~

Grey: I took into skateboarding and roller skating back when I was in Kalos. I’m still pretty good.

Alex: I take martial arts, karate, tae kwon do, basically any kind of fighting I can do. I also like to cook, I’ll say that much. Oh, there’s also the piano. I hate playing it but for some reason, I still play it.

Salvia: I love dancing with Ashley~ I also learned how to knit when I was maybe seven and I love knitting~

Daichi: Well aside from being a coordinator, I like to take pictures of whatever I see. I also took an interest in gymnastics and I play the trumpet. I also like to plant berries for my Pokeblock.

13. Who are your friends?

Ashley: I have lots of friends~ My best friend being Salvia~ I’m also friends with Lillie, Lana, Mallow, Tina, Monica, Chetari, Moon and Penelope~ Oh, another best friend is Takako~

Grey: I guess Daichi, Gladion, and Kiawe are pretty good friends of mine. 

Alex: I see Ashley as a really good friend, I guess the same could be said for Salvia and Daichi. 

Salvia: Oh~ Ashley’s my best friend~ I’m also friends with Penelope, Lillie, Lana, Chetari and Mallow~

Daichi: I’m Grey’s best friend, of course. I’m also pretty close to Sophocles. We have fun playing video games together.  14. Fav weather?

Ashley: Sunny~ That’s the best kind of weather~ 

Grey: I guess cloudy, mostly dark clouds. Cause that means it’ll rain and I like rain.

Alex: Snow! I like the sun and all, but I’ve lived in Snowpoint city and Snowbelle city for all my life. Snow is what I always remember.

Salvia: Like Ashley, I love sunny weather~ It’s so much fun to play in~

Daichi: I like partly cloudy, not too sunny and not too cloudy. It’s perfect. 15. What season do you prefer?

Ashley: Spring~ Everything is coming back from the cold and the flowers are pretty to look at~

Grey: I like Fall. All the colors they have are really great to look at.

Alex: WINTER!!! I LOVE WINTER!!!

Salvia: Summer~ Summer~ Summer~

Daichi: I’d say Spring, that’s when I can go back to gardening. 16. Your biggest fears?

Ashley: Rhyhorns...I hate Rhyhorns...

Grey: Watching Katri and Ashley die and I can’t stop them from dying...

Alex: Not being accepted by my close friends...

Salvia: The rumors of my parents being true...

Daichi: My dad dying and me being unable to say goodbye... 17. Any persons you don't like?

Ashley: I don’t like Dusk, she’s really mean to me when I want to be friends.

Grey: I don’t like grandma Grace when Ashley was little she tried to show her how to ride a Rhyhorn. She kept getting bucked off and me, Salvia, Daichi, and Ashley told her to stop and how it was enough but she kept going until she got her arm broken. I also hate that girl Sheryl.

Alex: I don’t like my parents, they tried to force me to be a cis boy.

Salvia: My dad’s old fiancee! Sure she gave me my Vileplume but she only did it to try and get me to like her! She’s mean! 

Daichi: I don’t like Harley...Sure he makes my mom happy and all but still... 18. Do you like cute things/persons?

Ashley: Of course I do~

Grey: I guess my sister and my cousin count, so yeah.

Alex: Totally, what isn’t there to like about cute things?

Salvia: Oh yes~ All the way yes~

Daichi: I find a lot of Bug types cute, yeah. 19. A compliment you get to hear often?

Ashley: That I’m really good at dancing and how I’m a lot like my parents.

Grey: That I’m a good battler just like my dad.

Alex: Someone once said ‘Don’t stick to gender stereotypes, fight society you genderfluid warrior’. I guess that would count.

Salvia: That I create amazing displays with the most unlikely Pokemon type~ And they said Poison-types were ugly, ha!

Daichi: That I’m really good at gardening and coordinating.

20. Name your worst habits.

Ashley: I guess my energy and my bottomless stomach can be a bit of an issue...

Grey: People say I glare a little too much which makes me look intimidating.

Alex: It’s not my fault I get angry when people think I’m a boy or a girl.

Salvia: I am very submissive...I’m honestly glad my friends don’t take advantage of that.

Daichi: I’ll admit, I do have a lot of arrogance. My friends are working on having me break out of that. 21. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Ashley: My parents and my aunt of course~

Grey: My dad, obviously.

Alex: Drew! He was the reason why I got interested in Pokemon coordinating in the first place!

Salvia: My mom and Mrs. Ketchum for sure~

Daichi: My dad! He’s awesome! 22. Do you go to school?

Ashley: Yup~ I go to school~

Grey: We all do actually.

Alex: I was nervous at first but it’s not so bad.

Salvia: I like going to our school in Alola~

Daichi: It’s fun actually, I like it there. 23. Ever wanna marry and have kids one day?

Ashley: I guess so, with Chetari~

Grey: That would be nice if me and Tina are still together.

Alex: If Monica wants to date me yeah.

Salvia: *blushing* I would like that, with Apollo.

Daichi: Yes, with Sable. 24. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?

Ashley: Maybe like one or two.

Grey: Too many to count...

Alex: Not really but I’m glad I don’t have any.

Salvia: I think one boy gave me flowers.

Daichi: I have a fan club. 25. What do you usually wear?

Ashley: I mostly wear dresses that are yellow or orange and an orange headband, I don’t wear hats often~

Grey: A black and white striped T-shirt and gray shorts, as well as black tennis shoes. It’s pretty basic.

Alex: Like Grey a striped T-shirt only it’s black and purple, I’ll either have a white skirt or a pair of black shorts, sometimes I’ll wear shorts under my skirt. I also have a white scarf, striped socks, and black sneakers. I also wear pink and blue bandages around my fists.

Salvia: Normally it’s a blue dress, white tights, and blue Mary Jane shoes. I also never go anywhere without my blue ribbons.

Daichi: I wear a green shirt and brown shorts and green sneakers. I also have a brown jacket that looks like my dad’s, he gave it to me before he left. 26. What class are you? (low class, middle class, high class)

Ashley: I’d say, high class, mom’s the Kalos Queen and dad has a lot of jobs.

Grey: High class, my dad’s a champion and my mom’s an actress. So high class.

Alex: I think middle class.

Salvia: Upper middle class since my parents work for Ashley’s parents.

Daichi: I’d say middle class or lower high class, it’s hard to tell.

27. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

Ashley: I’d say the ocean~ It’s fun saying hi to all the Water types~

Grey: Ocean for sure. Sharpedo can enjoy a swim.

Alex: I’d go with a lake, I’m not that good at swimming.

Salvia: I’ll say a lake too, it’s more controlled.

Daichi: I’d say both have their good points, so both.

28. What's your type?

Ashley: Psychic types because they can be great companions when you need them~

Grey: Dark-types because they can be crafty and sneak away with little to no detection.

Alex: Fighting-types because their fighting styles are amazing and different.

Salvia: Poison-types because I find them so cute and they are not ugly!

Daichi: Bug types because all of them have so much beauty inside and out. It kind of annoys me that Mrs. Misty fears them when she doesn’t know them.  29. Camping or indoors?

Ashley: Both~ I love camping and sleeping indoors~

Grey: I’m with Ashley on this, both are fun.

Alex: I’d say camping, more time to train and improve my fighting stances.

Salvia: Indoors, I got lost while camping once.

Daichi: Camping, I could find more berries to plant and more Bug types to play with.

[icharchivist]

perso-rant underneath and at first i intended it to be more light hearted but welp cant dive into myself without digging the bad stuff so just ignore this as rambling.

(idk if the cut works on mobile so as usual blacklist #ichapersonal to skip it , its quite long)

its night and im noisy and all but yknow part of the reason m/lb is such a healing show for me and i rewatch it every couple of days?

i cry everytime M.arinette's family is on screen pretty badly bc i get so envious all the time. i hate my shitty family (and often can relate to A.drien's ressentment) so just seeing such a /healthy/ family being often shown litterally brings me to tears. im like C.hat in the animan episode when he stares at the family picture with a sweet smile (another detail that stupidly make me cry who allowed th i s)

like. i dont relate to A.drien's relation to his family but some of the emotional effects is often a moment of "welp. mood." and being kinda sad /for him/ even if i can feel it for myself too. but then with M.arinette's family everytime they get to be on screen i realize how happy this sort of dynamic makes me and it makes me /so envious/.

like my mom is an artist and an excellent cook but she always barred those interests from me bc it was /hers/ and it was for /her ego/ and this attitude just killed every curiosity i had and remplaced it with a complete unability to care.

i used to bake as a kid but my mom was always shutting down everything i was doing, and if i was asking for help or recieps she would just tell le "it's a secret just watch " and never letting me know tf she was doing so i stopped lmao. everytime ive tried meals since it was only for myself and with a hard mocking from family and mom saying she had a better recieps and i should just let her do so i dont even try it often. (moreeven now that the kitchen is opened to the living room and they're super judgemental when im in it)

i was messing with drawings and paints in her workshop when i was a kid but she would always point out flaws and take my tools to correct it without telling nor showing me how and it killed it, it took me until my 14yo to start doing mindless doodles and then my breakdown when i was about 20 to seriously try back to draw and do art and try different tools (until my right hand made it impossible for me to hold a tool and the failure still feels yknow)

i wanted to sew things and make clothes (at the time for my dolls) but my mom was never letting me touch the tools (that we HAD since not only she made clothes but her mom actually had a fabrique shop. like. right next door. i think it became part of my mom's trauma hating her mom and refusing us to connect with her, more so with what happened when i was 7 and we lost contact with them but still, the damn irony. and i cant remember if my grandma ever let me close her sewing material but i was a damn kid after all) so this is another thing i didnt pursue

i wanted to pick up music (piano mostly) bc my uncle is a musician but my parents never wanted to invest in that because they already gave a piano to my sister (that i wasnt allowed to use) so ye that was dropped lmao

and i started to write when i was about 11 and it was that /one thing/ i didnt need help for from anyone, completely self taught, with my own ways and tools, and my parents were always dismissive of it, never listening to me, always telling me it wasnt important, that i should focus on something else, and after other circumstances that added to that i dropped writting around my 17/18yo and it had been painful to even try to write again since.(i came back to writing around my 20yo a bit before my breakdown but after it happened it started to die out and i felt exhausted and stopped after a few months and since then i've never been able to pick up writing again ay.)

(and im not touching the obsessive elements bc like- the fact she does it for her crush makes it different, but the sort of things she does? taking pictures and putting them everywhere in her room when she hyperfixates, making overcomplicated schedules and such? i litteraly do that with fiction. i made a freaking timeline for this show. i am currently working on organizing codex from d.a and an approval guide for christ sake. and im not talking about my multiple fandom shrines in my room and the fact i legit have one for m/lb made from pictures found on merchs.

or also the fact i have a lot of passions i'd love to share and seeing M. play video games with her dad for exemple makes me so bitter when all i get is backhanded insults from my parents when i bring it up.)

So sometimes i see M. and part of me is just in awe, loving everything about her. the other part of me tho... i feel... a bit robbed? like she's such a creative kid, she's incredible and she inspires me everyday, and i cant help but think how i would have adored her when i was a kid. (im not even kidding, as a kid i requested my mom a costume of black cat for h.alloween and a l.adybug costume for the carnaval. i have pictures of that at my dad's place sadly it kills me. also my room when i was a kid used to be covered with l.adybug stickers like. HELL my mom doesnt care about my interests but last year she bought me a M/LB winter callendar (bc its been years i was mentioning i wanted one, a selfish whim but oh well) and i had a huge double take bc i was certain she didnt remember me talking about this show- and she did not. when i asked her why, she legit told me "because she reminded me of you as a kid with your pigtails your obsession for l.adybugs". like!! i cant even stress how kid!me would have adored this show and especially LB./M.) (the pigtails too this time i have proofs around there i used to carry them all the time until i was bullied for it at school. (bullying at school instead of good friends also adds to the difference in question tbh lmao))

there is something so... weird into seeing the parts of yourself that you cut yourself from in a character, and see that the main difference is because of how the family (and bullies) treated those elements so drastically differently.

my family was always neglectful but differently than A.. the things i relate to with him is how he specifically still holds on hope that his father will do better at least just for one day and his reaction when he's left down saying he's just used to it. and like normal, not every kind of abuse are the same and all but i still relate enough to feel sad.

but M. is always a whiplash of feelings like i could have been this sort of girl in a better environment.

at 13/14yo she was already making stuff up, baking, designing clothes, doing art, she was doing so many things, even forgetting the superhero part. she was being happy being a creator at her pace and with encouragement. at 13/14yo i was starting to show concerning signs of d.epression because i was trying to handle my parents's divorces and the multiple trials that followed that /i/ had to handle by finding middle grounds, allowing some of my father's blackmail to avoid worse, and by litterally having to collect infos from mails everytime to prove against some of his arguments to the judges. and my sister refusing to talk to us for a year, which caused us basically to feel very bad thinking of the eldest sister who ran away from home, and having to handle my father's harrasment and emotional abuse of constantly belittling me (fuck this was the age he legit told me i would probably end up a p.rostitute so ye!!! fuck that!!!) andd the fact my mom was also falling apart from all of it on me and i was always supposed to cheer her up while i was having a hard time in a new school and new environment away from the very few friends i had and again feeling abandonned by my sister which freaking sucks after already had suffered that from our eldest one.

but M. makes me cry every. goddam. rewatch. its like maybe the ultimate wish fufilling story of just how i would have loved my family to be. of how i think i could have turned up.

and that realization hits so badly everytime.

there's a thing with my hyperfixations where i'll always find a way to tie it back to my traumas. i dont know if im pulling straws, or if the things are there. for having watched m.lb when it came out unfazed and only got hit with that realization upon rewatching- i feel it was more me realizing "there is something there that is touching me more than before" and having an introspection to get it.

and i think the difference is that- before my breakdown the characters and stories i related to where the eternal optimistic-yet-damaged "never give up!" type of characters. When things started to go downhill to my breakdown and since then the fictions that talked to me the most were all dealing with guilt coming from toxic environment that werent your fault per se but you pierceved that way. my way to relate were to characters who felt deeply connected to their guilt (peak being c.loud of f.f7 that even topped it with the deadly skin disease making him lose will to live (because ye that happened. still hate to watch out for that so ye), and memories issues, you would have told me at 13yo when i first watched that movie that this would be what i would relate to him about 7 years later i would have laughed at your face.), which translated with pushing people away and self destructing habits.

and i know i watched m.lb the first time around that time, when i was 20/21. and that may be why i didnt feel that. that my concerns were too elsewhere to realize that. That i was too focalized on how i felt like i failed by suddenly breaking under the pressure, having all the things i've kept burried kicking me out at once, and that i couldnt afford to be a burden to anyone. and it translated with me loving characters like that because in most cases their friends ended up reminding them of what was important - and sometimes just getting frustrated about your fav being as dumb as it forces you to pull yourself back together lmao. not always working but it was there.

now im 23. i cut ties with my father for about 3/4 years now, with all the shitty things that ensued out of the last trial where he sued me and his still-happening harrasment (sometimes silly sometimes scary). My mom and step dad are suffocating me more and more everyday. my health had become so disastrous i cant even manage to go school or find a job. And more than ever im frustrated and angry.

and i think it may be a shown of recovery? perhaps linked to therapy? of while i still have guilt of falling apart- /they/ are the reason i fell apart. and I'm yet to have proper apologizes for it. i grew furious at my family. of how much i feel robbed.

lately im so angry at everything i lost, was taken of, stolen childhood all of that- because of my parents, mainly. (hell even the bullying at school - in primary school it apparently started bc of gossips about why my eldest sister ran away from home, and in middle school it was first bc my parents insisted on sending me to private school where i was an outcast. which then had me truly embrassing the outcast persona that had made it impossible for me to be at peace in the two others middle schools i went to. highschool saved my social life tbh).

i think it's therapy and recovery that is making me shift the blame and feel so angry at them. so bitter. and suddenly i see in an innocent kid show a "what could have been". same starting personality, different people to channel this.

and this is. frustrating.

but it makes me love it even more. idk if its driving anything else than ressentment but at least for the time of an episode I'm in a bubble of a.lternative universe where i can forget about my life and feel satisfied at once.

like finding a piece of myself that i deliberately broke and burried to never think about it again, and realize far later how it missed to the whole, and how damaged this piece is now, but still is.

and there is something incredibly healing about that. i would never have thought there would be this much healing out of this anger and yet satisfaction. what a strange feeling.

fiction is funny that way. the things people can get out of it to deal with their own psyche are so different one person to the next.

it's just so weird for me to go from "i relate to the horrors this character went through" to "and fuck those horrors. let me think about what could have been if this didnt happen."

even moreso knowing i had this piece of fiction before and didnt approach it that way. there's a time and a mindset for everything. apparently now was the best mindset for me huh

.......

so ye apparently i cant like something like a normal person and have to go on about how it connects to my deeply rooted traumas lmao.

anyway it's been eating me up for weeks now and it's 4:45am i have absolutly no impulse holding me back. if you sat through this piece of work im sorry. just needed it to get it out of my chest.

i'll go back to hugging my cheap-yet-lifesaving c.laire's l.adybug pillow now

good night o/

[seofthours]

85 Questions

tagged by @1nomins and @wlwhyuck thank you <3

rules: answer all 85 questions then tag 20 people! 

♡ Last…? ♡

Drink - water

Phone call - I called my mom’s phone because she couldn’t find it :)

Text message - me telling my friend Seb that we were just gonna sneak away to Canada

Song you listened to - probably elevator by jonghyun // that has been on repeat lately

Time you cried - I don’t really know. I don’t cry that often. I almost cried when Spence posted New York

♡ Ever…? ♡

6. Dated someone twice - yep

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - yes // funny story,, I hung out with this guy because he was kinda cute and plus this other guy pissed me off. I added the guy who I was supposed to hang out with on snapchat so he could send me a picture of a rainbow that he had taken. Later that night, I was in the car with the guy I wasn’t dating but had been hanging out with. He took my phone and blocked rainbow dude. That ultimately pissed me off, so I added him back and we hung out a few days later. Rainbow guy pretty much gave me a choice of kissing him or being accused of being a lesbian. If you don’t know, I live in the south. Although I am pan, being accused of being gay here isn’t something I need. (I am not out btw) I ended up kissing him which pissed off guy I had been hanging out with. I regret kissing this guy for multiple reasons. whoops

8. Been cheated on - no but a guy I was dating told another girl that he loved her. His best friend made him tell me and when I didn’t react the way that they wanted me to, he broke up with me :)

9. Lost someone special - mmmm no?

10. Been depressed - I have asked for help with this, but guess who has yet to receive help. Good news is that I am 4 years clean since the beginning of May

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - nope i prefer to just get tipsy

12. Fave colors - blue, pink, and yellow which is ironically the pan flag

♡ In the last year have you… ♡

15. Made new friends - yes uwu

16. Fallen out of love - sure I have

17. Laughed until you cried - All the time

18. Found out someone was talking about you - Yeah but it doesn’t happen often though. I tend to stray away from things that could get me talked about

19. Met someone who changed you - All of the people that I have met who are good have changed me for the better. 

20. Found out who your friends are - When I was in a wreck a couple months ago, I had been on the way to a birthday party. The only three people who came I consider friends except maybe one. When I was finally able to show up to the party, the birthday girl told me that she had guests to entertain and that she couldn’t just leave. 

21. Kissed someone on your FB friend list - probably. I don’t get on fb though

♡ General ♡

22. How many FB friends do you have irl - I don’t accept friend requests from people I don’t know

23. Do you have any pets? - We have two dogs, a cat, and a guinea pig

24. Do you want to change your name - no I am okay with my name

25. What did you do for your last bday - went to eat with some friends when I really should have gone out of town with my mom and sister like I originally intended

26. What time did you wake up today - like 11?

27. What were you doing at midnight lastnight? - only god knows aldalsdkjf

28. What is something you can’t wait for - to be employed again damn. I am broke

30. What are you listening to right now - my computer keys 

31. Have you ever talked to a person named tom - I? don’t? think so?

32. Something that gets on your nerves - assholes :)

33. Mosted visited sites - youtube and tumblr and google docs

34. Hair color - a light brown blonde with red? What would you call that?

35. Long or short hair - almost to my ass aldjfs

36. Do you have a crush on someone - I thought I did but I don’t think I feel that way toward her

37. What do you like about yourself - One of the things I’ve always liked about myself is that I don’t do the things that everyone else does. Lately, I have been following trends especially with my writing, so I am just trying to get back to my roots.

38. Want any piercings? - There was a time went I wanted a lip piercing because I was like “emo yes” but now I think I just want a second ear piercing

39. Blood type - o negative. I donate blood and the blood services sent me a card in the mail that said “you are o- so special”

40. Nicknames - emuwu, liky, cute demon, loly(pop), etc.

41. Relationship status - on the market // I like girls uwu

42. Zodiac - Aquarius sun, libra moon, Virgo rising

43. Pronouns - she/her

44. Fav tv shows - I don’t watch a lot of tv :/ it doesn’t hold my attention for long

45. Tattoos - no but I plan to get one

46. Right or left handed - right handed

47. Ever had surgery - no

48. Piercings - i just have my ears pierced

49. Sport - none currently but I played softball, did gymnastics, and cheered for a while

50. Vacations - I wanna go back to San Francisco :(

51. Trainers - ???

♡ More general ♡

52. Eating - cocktail peanuts

53. Drinking - water

54. I’m about to watch - nothing

55. Waiting for….. - people to stop sexualizing the dreamies :)

56. Want…. - to sleep 

57. Get married - once upon a time (watch me love a girl and them outlaw gays being married again)

58. Career - It changes a lot. I currently plan to major in journalism and then possibly segway into law school

♡ Which is better ♡

59. Hugs or kisses - both but kisses

60. Lips or eyes - eyes are great but l i p s

61. Short or taller - It isn’t that hard to be taller than me so I don’t really care

62. Older or younger - mm I think I could only go like a year younger

63. Nice arms or stomach - arms

64. Hookup or relationship - depends but a relationship 

65. Troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker 

♡ Have you ever ♡

66. Kissed a stranger - no 

67. Drank hard liquor - I mean yeah but give me two months // nobody let me on tumblr during that time lkdfa

68. Lost glasses - I wear contacts

69. Turned someone down - yes a few times 

70. Sex on first date - nope

71. Broken someone’s heart - I want to say no but yes

72. Had your heart broken - eh

73. Been arrested - no 

74. Cried when someone died - yes

75. Fallen for a friend - unfortunately

♡ Do you believe in…? ♡

76. Yourself? - depends on the day

77. Miracles - sometimes // it’s a miracle that I didn’t step on that wasp earlier

78. Love at first sight - absolutely not

79. Santa claus - why is this a question?

80. Kiss on first date - if it happens, it happens

81. Angels - (I choked on Korin’s answer) yes and no 

♡ Other ♡

82. Best friend’s name - Seb the crab (inside joke) and my lovely A1 Dumbasses gc uwu

83. Eye color - hazel so like a green color with a caramel brown color in the center

84. Fave movie - 10 things i hate about you, how to lose a guy in 10 days, she’s all that, and mulan

85. Fave actor - mm no one in particular

I’m tagging: @wlwnohyuck @winwincity @morkleek @hyucksgalaxy @renjun-l @icetwea @wlwjisung @95s @hyuckbae @celestial-cosmosis @kkookies @softiejungwoo @angel-donghyuck @bumblebeesandcacti @tinybinnie @doyuwung sorry if you have already done this! <3