#just my silly little thoughts about a movie that had a million plot holes

[yukinojou]

I already squeed quite a bit on Twitter, but turns out my Shadow and Bone thoughts demand longform. So that was a 40+ tweet thread or using my Tumblr for an original post for once.

I was wary about the Shadow and Bone adaptation the way I'm usually wary about good books being adapted onscreen. It was amplified because my actual favourites are the Six of Crows books, and because the American-based movie complex has a bad track record of doing anything based on Eastern Europe. 8 episodes in 3 days should tell you how much I loved it - the moment I finished, I wanted more.

First, the technical praise:

Damn but the plotting is tight. It took me a while to realised it's based on heist movie bones, where every little thing (The Freaking Bullet!) is important. The story fulfills its promises and manages not to bore at the same time - it delights by the way they're fulfilled. I called out a few plot developments moments before they happened, and I was happy about it. Such a joy after so many series where "not doing what viewers expect" led to plot holes and lack of sense. It might be an upside to the streaming model after all.

From a dramatic point of view I can tell all the reasons for all the changes, especially providing additional outsider points of view on Ravka (Crows) and letting viewers see Mal for themselves the way he only comes across in later books.

Speaking of which, this is a masterclass in rewriting a story draft. SaB was Bardugo's first, and having read later books you can really see where she didn't quite dare to break the YA rules yet, especially Single POV that necessitated a tight focus on Alina's often negative feelings rather than the big picture and a triangle that felt a bit forced. The world in the series is so much bigger, the way Bardugo could finally paint it when SaB success gave her more creative freedom, and some structural choices feel familiar too. It's a combination of various choices by crew and cast, but the end result meshes together so tightly and naturally.

Visuals! Especially the war parts because Every Soviet Movie Ever, but also the clothes (I would kill for Nina's blouse in the bar), the jewelry, the interiors. The stag was so very beautiful. And a deep commitment to a coherent aesthetic for each character and setting.

Look, you can do a serious fantasy series with colours! Both skin colours and bright sets and clothing! And all scenes were well lit enough to know what's going on, even in the Fold!

Representation (aka I Am Emotion)

To start with: I was born behind the Iron Curtain, in the last years of the Cold War. The Curtain was always permeable to some extent, and we have always been aware that while we have talented artists of our own, we never had the budgets and polish of the Anglosphere Entertainment Machine. So we watched a hell of a lot of American visual storytelling especially because yeah, you can tell we don't have the budgets. 90s and 2000s especially, it's getting better now.

In American stories, the BEST case scenario for Eastern European representation is the Big Dumb Pole, the ethnic stereotype Americans don't even notice they use, where the punchline is that his English is bad or that he grew up outside Anglo culture. Other than that, it's criminals, beggars, sex trafficking victims, refugees. Sure, we may look similar (except we really really don't, not if you're raised here and see the distinct lack of all those long-jawed Anglo faces), but we are not and have never been the West, never mind America. It's probably better for younger people now, but I was raised under rationing and passport bans. Star Trek and Beverly Hills 90210 were exactly as foreign to me.

The first ever character I really identified with was Susan Ivanova in Babylon 5 (written by J. Michael Straczynski, yay behind-camera representation). This was a Russian Jewish woman very much in charge, in the way of strong women I know so well, not taking any bullshit, not repressing her feminity. I recognised her bones, she could be my cousin. The sheer relief of it. There have been few such occasions since.

The reason I picked up Shadow and Bone in the first place was recommendations from other Polish people. I've had no problems finding representation in Eastern European books because wow our scene is strong in SFF especially, but it's always a treat to find a book in English that gets it. And Leigh gets it, the bones of our culture, and I could even look past the grammar issue (dear gods and Americans, Starkova for a woman, Morozov for a guy) that really irked me because of the love for the setting and the characters, the weaving in of religion/mysticism (we never laicisized the same way as the West, natch), the understanding of how deep are the scars left in a nation at war for centuries. The books are precious to me, they and Arden's Winternight and Novik's Spinning Silver.

To sum up: Shadow and Bone the Netflix series gets it. You can tell just how much they've immersed themselves in Eastern European culture and media, it comes across so well in visuals and writing and characters. Not just the obvious bits (though the WWII propaganda posters gave me a giggle), but the palaces, the additional plotlines and characters, the costumes, the attitudes. About the only thing missing in the soldier scenes was someone singing and/or quoting poetry.

I will blame the Apparat's lack of beard on filming in a non-Orthodox country. Poland's Catholic too, but I very much imagined him as an Orthodox patriarch, possibly because I read the books shortly after a visit to Pecherska Lavra in Kiev and the labyrinthine holy catacombs there. Small quibble, not my religion, not my place to speak.

(I've seen discussion on the issues with biracial representation in the show, which is visceral and apparently based on bad experiences of one of the show writers in a way that's caused pain to other Asian and biracial people. I'm not qualified to speak on those parts, other that Eastern Europe is... yeah. Racist in subtly different ways. If anything, the treatment of the Suli as explained in Six of Crows always read so very true of the way Roma are treated, and even sanitised.)

And now for the spoiler-filled bits:

Kaz and Inej. I mean... just THEM. So many props to the actors, the writers, the bloody goat.

I adore the fact the only people who get to have sex in the show are Jesper and a very lucky stablehand.

Ben Barnes needs either an award or a kick. The man's acting choices and puppy eyes are as epic as his hair.

So Much Love for Alina initiating the kiss. Her book characterisation makes sense, she's so trapped in her own head because she has no time to process everything that's happening, but grabbing life by the lapels is a much more active choice. Still not making the relationship equal, but closer to it.

Speaking of, Kaz's constant awareness of how unequal his relationship with Inej is, and attempts to give her agency. I'm really curious how his touch issues come across to someone who doesn't know the backstory there.

Feodor and his actor. He looks exactly like the pre-war heartthrob Adolf Dymsza, a specific upper-class Polish ethnic type that's much rarer now that, well, Nazis killed millions of Polish intellectuals in their attempt to reduce us to unskilled labour only. The faces he makes are the Best.

Nina!! Nina is perfect, those cheekbones, that cheek, I was giggling myself silly half the time. I cannot wait to see Danielle Galligan take on the challenge of Nina's plotline in Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom, she'll kill us dead.

I already mentioned that the writers fixed Mal's absence from the first book, but Mal in general! The haircut gives him a kind of rugby charm, and Archie Renaux is outstanding at emoting without talking. Honestly, all the casting in this series is inspired, but him in particular.

Extra bonus: Howard Charles and Luke Pasqualino playing so very much against the type of the swaggering Musketeers I saw them play last. Arken dropping the mask at the end... Howard Charles is love.

I can't believe not only was Milo's bullet a plot point, but the fact Alina was wearing a particularly sparkly hair ornament in a long series of beautiful hair ornaments was a plot point.

In conclusion: so much love, and next three season NOW please. Okay, give me a week to reread the books, and an extra day because new Murderbot drops tomorrow...

[nanabrainrot]

Hhh im so glad you enjoyed Her 🥺 if its not a trouble could you do some headcanons of how Theodore will be when meeting someone new after Samantha? Could also include nsfw stuff if you want aaa 💓

Of course!! Theodore is too cute hes my #mcm now 😌

Theodore Twombly Headcanons (Post-Samantha)

SFW!Headcanons

• When he meets you, he is adamant to pursue you, with two failed serious relationships under his belt, he almost feels scared. Scared of rejection, or of falling apart later. He watches you from afar, a new hire at his company, itching to talk to you but failing to find it in him to approach you. You’re just... enchanting.

• So, you pursue him, a skip in your step, to ask him out for a cup at a new coffeehouse a block or so away for lunch. “My lunchbuddy’s out today,” you lied; you didn’t have a lunchbuddy. After some silence, he grins shyly and agrees. Catherine told you he had a crush on you while you two were heading up the elevator, you smiled a bit, you thought he was cute as the devil.

• 10 minutes later, you two were giggling as you trekked off to the café two blocks over, on the corner of Rex Drive and St. Paul Court, and, as you reached for your wallet to pay for a caramel frappucino (extra whipped cream) and a garden salad, Theodore hurriedly whipped out the money and paid for your meal. You felt a bit silly as you held a meager $20 bill in your vaguely clammy hand as the clerk plopped some loose change in Theodore’s big, course hand. You looked up at him, suddenly shier than usual at the way he cheekily grinned down at you in his victory that he paid for your meal before you. You sat by the window, barely touching your meals, too busy talking about the news and your new iron and his new striped shirt.

• When you two return, the weird tension of “I think I like you” shifts to a strange tension of “I like you and I’m trying to hint at it, but I don’t want to say it.” From then on, your lunch buddy was out all the time, anything to get a tidbit of him time. Fortunately for you that went two ways: you worked from 8-8 and he worked 7-7, soon after two months of frequent café lunches, he suddenly started extending to 7-8, just to get off at the same time as you just plotting to ask you on a dinner date and rehearsing it in his head a million times before he finally does.

• A month later after nearly everyday of café runs, he asks you for a bite at the Italian restaurant, wiping his sweating palms on his trousers, eying you anxiously in the descending elevator. He looked prepped for rejection, face pale in expectation. You agree. “Of course,” you smile, reddened cheeks, as you fiddle with the cuffs of your shirt. The awkward smiles you exchanged, suddenly nervous despite sharing lunch and exchanging stories over a pair of BLTs in the glow of the sun through the big café window. A candlelit dinner made it realer. You stayed a bit after closing, talking and talking, until 10pm. He brings you home, walking with sweaty intertwined hands swinging under the lamplights, then in your building’s elevator, only hands parting at your door. “This is my stop,” you say. You wait. He waits. You both stare at each other in an odd waiting. “Can I hug you?” he asks in a soft voice as to not wake the neighbors. His arms are big, warm and enveloping, your head nuzzling into his shoulder, just before he separates a little to mutter, “Can I kiss you?” You kiss goodnight; it’s beautiful.

• He is a kind boyfriend. Loving and gentle, he compliments you often, observant about your new deep conditioned hair, a new bracelet, all of it absorbs deep within him because a part of you is somewhere in his thoughts, including the new charm on your bracelet or a new hairdo. You are a marvel to him. To him, he’s the luckiest man to walk the earth.

• His biggest downfall in your relationship is his fear. There are some times where he recalls the highs of his love with his ex-wife and Samantha and his hugs seem a little too tight. His past relationships makes him appreciate each moment with a weird purity. In his presence, there is never a moment you feel unloved. Each day, you are swarmed in affection and it is tender, but sad that he had to suffer heartbreak in order to get there.

NSFW!Headcanons

• He takes his sweet, sweet time with foreplay. Since his ex-wife he hasn’t shared real, physical intimacy; as real as Samantha was, she had no body to touch and that strange woman that posed as Samantha for intimacy unsettled him more than anything. Your humanity is a thing of beauty to him, supple soft skin he can put his hands upon is the most arousing feeling, the feeling of knowing you’re there with him makes him hot and bothered, knowing he can take you if he so pleases.

• Call him traditional but he loves missionary. You’re a hard worker after all, usually at the office and sometimes bartending late at night to get a little extra dough in your account, and he gets to know you can lay back and enjoy some pleasure. He watches all your faces with a watchful eye, embedding them in his memory to archive and imagine late at night when you stay at your apartment instead, hand stroking his cock and imagining your hole pulsing around his cock instead. He wants nothing more than to know you walked away from your love-making sessions just a bit wobbly.

• He knows how to use his mouth is an understatement. Whenever you decide to come over to watch a movie, you often try to watch it at Theodore laps at your loins, hands spreading your thighs nice and wide, head hidden under the blanket on his knees in front of the sofa and you get tongued by him, mewling over the audio of a new on-demand horror flick. Shortly after, he fucks you doggy on the floor, smacking your ass hard enough to leave it red tomorrow. He wants you completely naked everytime you two make love, no exceptions, if ands, or buts. (You love his moustache grazing your skin as you licks and sucks at your dripping hole)

• The dirty talk extraordinaire. He often starts making love, but by round two, he loses a himself to the part of him that looked af you on day one and imagined you climbing under his desk and sucking his fat cock dry, looking up at him with his dick down your throat and your nose buried in his pubes as tears prickle at the corner of your eyes from the size, then he’d pick you up, strip you bare and bounce you on his dick as you moan like a whore and grip at his shirt. He’s a pervert with you. He’s amazed by how ethereal you are and that he alone gets to see you stripped bare and spread wide; he almost jumps on any opportunity when you two are alone to touch each other, all the while telling you how good you look mewling loud and panting as he drives into you over and over.

• Clean-up can wait for later. He has spectacular stamina when having sex and, more often than not, he’ll cum on your face and turn you around, still pounding at your sloppy hole, face covered in his seed as he kisses at your neck. Once he’s had his way with you, you cuddle nude, looking out his big window and staring into the night’s cityscape, content and joyous that, long at last, you both have someone to love and can depend on and will for a long time time thereafter. He is a good lover, a great boyfriend, and an amazing best friend, all in one.

[sunsetbeachsoap]

Interview: Life's a Sunset Beach

She was going to be the next Elizabeth Taylor. These days Lesley- Anne Down takes work where she finds it - right now, it's in the best daytime soap opera since `Crossroads'.

Deborah Ross @deborahross

Monday 30 November 1998 01:02

So, here she is, then, Lesley-Anne Down, once "Britain's Most Beautiful Teenager" and once, of course, the flighty, ravishing, utterly captivating Miss Georgina Worsley in Upstairs, Downstairs. I can still see her now, in her little sparkling bugle dress, with those big sparkling eyes, flirting outrageously with someone jolly handsome in the Eaton Place drawing room, while, downstairs, Mrs Bridges was bellowing: "RUBY! ROO- BEEEEE! YOU COME AND HELP ME WITH THIS MILK PUDDING NOW, MY GIRL!" The part quickly transformed her into the nation's, and the tabloids', absolute darling. She may even have been Elizabeth Hurley before there was any Elizabeth Hurley. The prototype, if you like. And very, very big things were predicted for her. "The next Elizabeth Taylor," declared the Daily Mail in 1973. But today? Today she is not a great big movie star. Instead, she is Olivia Richards in the American daytime soap Sunset Beach.

Now, let's see, how best to give you a little thumbnail-sketch of Olivia? OK. Here goes. Olivia used to have a drink problem, and also used to be married to Gregory Richards, played by a cracking actor who can do lines, and facial expressions, but singularly fails to ever tie the two in together. Olivia has a baby son, Tres, unbeknown to her grown-up daughter, Caitlin, who is a graduate (cum laude) of The American School of Dramatic Hair Tossing - they are all, actually, very good at tossing, but Caitlin's the best - and who thinks Tres came from a prostitute. Caitlin certainly doesn't think Tres could be her brother, or might even be her half-brother, because Olivia once had an affair with Cole, who suffers under the weight of a great deal of hair gel and thus looks permanently perplexed, and who is now married to Caitlin, while Gregory is now married to Annie, who has lips like dinghies and who drugged Olivia and stole Tres in the first place before Olivia found out and Gregory divorced her, because he thought Tres died as a result of her drinking. And that's about it. I think. Tragically, Sunset Beach is only on here at 10.20am on Channel 5 which means that, for a busy, professional, go-getting high-brow like me, I only ever get to see it daily.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: "Look what Lesley- Anne has come to!" And: "Where did it all go pear-shaped!"Well, if that's the case, and I suspect it is, then I can only say you are mad. Sunset Beach is, almost certainly, the best thing on telly at the moment. Indeed, for anyone who has had, say, a Crossroads-shaped hole in their lives ever since Crossroads was axed, then Sunset Beach is just the ticket, and possibly more so. The plots are ludicrous, the acting is appalling and, as for the dialogue! Well, take Olivia to her ex, Gregory, while they are stuck in a lift, and he's coming on to her, because he's unknowingly been doped with Viagra, and she finds herself succumbing: "LOVE [breath] ME [breath] GREGORY [long breath]. LOVE [breath] ME!" It's all you could ever hope for, frankly, and no Benny in his silly bobble hat, which has to be a plus.

I say all this to Lesley-Anne. She is not offended in the least. She has, she says, never considered herself an artiste in any way. Do you think you can act, even? "God, no. Absolutely not. But if someone pays me to do something, I will do it to the best of my ability, and on Mars if necessary." How would you describe what you do in Sunset Beach? "Technique. Just full-blown technique! Although it's very hard work, darling. We average four scenes an hour. We don't rehearse. It's brush your hair, then boom- boom-boom, you're doing it." So, in short, it's a matter of trying not to fall over the props, then waiting for the truck to come round with your wages? "It is certainly much better paid than Upstairs, Downstairs ever was!" She says she now takes her jobs where she can find them. She once did a season in Dallas as PR Stephanie Rogers. "Why? Because they offered me a quarter of a million dollars for seven days' work over 10 weeks. What do you think I am, darling? STUPID?" Still, she agrees that "Who shot JR?" might be up there with "Is Amy Turtle a Russian spy?" as one of the greatest soap storylines ever. "Was she a Russian spy?" she asks. I say she got off in the end, but frankly, I always had my doubts. There always looked like room for a kalashnikov under her pinny, to me. "I see," says Lesley-Anne. "Hmmm."

Although she now lives in the very Hello! territory that is Malibu - "Jane Seymour lives round the corner. Her kids came trick or treating the other night" - she is over here for a few days, so we meet in her London hotel suite. We are joined, at various times, by Lesley-Anne's younger sister, Angela, Lesley-Anne's husband, Donnie, and her and Donnie's eight-month-old son, George, who seems to have black teeth ("We think the housekeeper is feeding him juice"), plus a succession of chambermaids who knock then come in to say: "Hiya, Olivia. I just wanted to say hiya, and maybe I could have a photo, Olivia?" "Maybe a little later, sweetie," says Lesley-Anne, who isn't even very good at acting friendly sometimes. Later, she complains: "This has been going on endlessly. In fact, when I first arrived here a few days ago, I went out in the evening. I was knackered, I looked awful, I wore a big hat - but still everyone in the street was shouting, `Ohhhh, Olivia'. And `Ohhh, Sunset Beach'. I don't understand it. It is such a silly little show."

Nonsense, I protest. It's a terrific show. In particular, I love the strange kind of time warp that goes on, so that a character knocks on a door, then 139 episodes later someone finally answers it. I like the fact that there are only ever two camera angles. I like the fact it makes Santa Barbara look slick. I like... "Oh, stop," pleads Lesley-Anne. Her sister Angela interrupts to say she thinks Lesley-Anne is a better actress than she thinks she is. "You were very good in Hanover Street with Harrison Ford," she insists.

"But that was such romantic drivel, darling!" Lesley-Anne cries.

"Trouble is, that film didn't know whether it wanted to be a war story or a love story," says Donnie.

"Ag-ga-ga-ga-goo," goes George, through his spooky, rotten teeth.

I say that, aside from anything else, she did do truly great cleavage in the American mini-series North and South. She can at least feel proud of that. She says: "That wasn't cleavage! That was my spare tyre being pushed up!" Lesley-Anne is possibly rather bonkers. But, still, she can be quite bright and funny at times.

She is now 44, but is still very fine looking, with the huge green, sparkling eyes, and great bones and everything, although she might be a bit over- made-up. You know, lots of black round the eyes and lashes so mascara- ed they look crunchy. She has so far resisted plastic surgery, "but only because Donnie won't let me". "Roy Orbison died on the table getting a face-lift," retorts Donnie. "It is a life-threatening operation."

Donnie, her third husband, is a cameraman whom she met on the set of North and South. Lesley-Anne seems to have spent much of her life going from one bloke to another, actually. First it was Bruce Robinson, the actor who turned writer (The Killing Fields) then writer-director (Withnail and I, How to Get Ahead in Advertising) and with whom she lived with for 10 years from the age of 15. Next it was an Argentine, Henrique Gabriel, an assistant director whom she met in Egypt on a film set, and whom she married on a whim, but left after 18 months for William Friedkin. She married Friedkin, the director of The French Connection and The Exorcist, and together they had a son, Jack. But when Jack was two, Lesley-Anne met Don, and upped it again. Lesley-Anne and Friedkin then fought a custody battle for Jack in a case which even her own lawyer, Marvin Mitchelson, described as "the nastiest, most vicious, custody case this town has ever seen". Friedkin said Lesley-Anne was an alcoholic, promiscuous coke fiend. She said he had threatened to kill her on more than one occasion, and had used a stun gun in front of Jack. After spending a million dollars each, they eventually agreed to a pre-trial settlement and joint custody, but only after Lesley-Anne had been vetted by a team of shrinks.

She says the shrinks ultimately declared her "a super-intelligent woman" which, she adds, "was very funny, because I lied to them every step of the way. They did these Rorschach tests on me. You know, the ink-blots. And they'd say, what does this one look like? I wasn't about to say it looks like two women having it off, was I? So I said, `Ohhh, it's a beautiful butterfly."' What did they conclude about you emotionally? "That I'm a complete hysteric!" And she might be, although perhaps not dangerously so. Certainly, she doesn't seem entirely whole somehow. I think she is intelligent, yes, but am not sure she's entirely all there.

She was born in Wandsworth, south London. Her father, James, apparently a very dashing-looking man, was caretaker of the local Territorial Army Centre. Her mother, Isobel, stayed at home to bring up the two girls, although did a bit of cleaning on the side when things got tight. Lesley- Anne, however, craved a more colourful life. "I had these cousins in LA, who'd send us care packages of clothes they'd grown out of - the most amazingly beautiful dresses that were totally alien to, say, going to Clark's for another pair of lace-ups in black, black or black. So I always had this desire, and image of myself, leading this fantasy life."

She started modelling at 10, was drinking gin and orange and clubbing at 12, started appearing nude in films at 14, and was living with Bruce at 15. I ask her if she thinks her childhood finished too early. She says. "I don't think it ever started!" What do you mean? "I just never felt like a child. I always had this desire to be a grown-up. I never had friends. I never felt I belonged. I was always happiest on my own, inventing things, finding secret places. If I'd also mutilated small animals, I think I'd have the perfect psychological profile of a serial killer." Did you ever, for example, have birthday parties? "Perhaps once. Although, then again, I might just be jealously appropriating someone else's." Did you like school? "Hated it. In particular, I hated Miss Harden, the maths teacher, who had hairy armpits and never wore long sleeves."

The trouble with Lesley-Anne, perhaps, is that she focused for so long on achieving things outwardly, via her own admittedly fabulous looks, that something within her just shrivelled and died. When, later, I ask her what attracted her to Friedkin, she says: "Money, talent, power." And you find those things attractive? "I did then. I'd met men with one or other of those things but, until Bill, I'd never met a man with all three." And the combination was lethal? "Lethal is the right word. That man was MERCURY IN MY BLOOD!" She can seem quite hysterical at times, yes.

Her first modelling assignment was for school uniforms, then it was bonnets, then it was a commercial in Barbados for an American soap powder - "and I thought, this is the life". She hooked up with Bruce at a party thrown by Ava Gardner. "He walked into the room in a white coat. I was in love. I didn't have a comb, so I ran into the lavatory and used Ava's toothbrush on my hair and lashes." He assumed she was at least 18. He, nearly 30 then, wasn't best pleased to find out she was only 15. "He called up all his friends, and said: `What am I going to do?' He went though a difficult time. My parents called him all sorts of names. Bruce would pack my bags and send me back to mum and dad. `I want to be with you,' I would scream. "

He proposed to her just the once, when she was 16. "But I said no. I didn't believe in marriage then." He never proposed again, although they stayed together until she was 24. She doesn't see him now. "He's become such a hermit, hasn't he? He lives in place near Wales that begins with H." Hereford? "Yes, that's it. He has so much to play for, but just tucks himself away." Perhaps he just doesn't want the whole LA shebang? "Oh. yes. Perhaps."

She says she is happy now, with Donnie and George. She doesn't mind that she never really achieved anything after Upstairs, Downstairs apart from a number of lacklustre films culminating in Death Wish V with Charles Bronson. "I'm happy to have survived, to still be here," she says. She has, yes, had her run-ins with drink and drugs but never, she insists, excessively so, and certainly not now. She adds that it's now time for her afternoon nap. "I'm very tired, darling." Bye, Olivia, I say. And I hope you get out of that stuck elevator shortly. "Oh stop!" she pleads again.

[notagarroter]

 @moriartysgrimmfairytales asked: Just popping in to see if you've succeeding to come to terms with TFP? And in which case, share your secret? Saw your post about Jim recording those gifs, made me giggle for the first time in a long while (Sherlock related, I mean). Still struggling.

oof, good question.  Humor definitely helps!  In addition to thinking about how much fun Jim and Eurus must have had together, planning this whole ridiculous game, I'm also developing headcanons about the Holmes siblings as practical jokers.  One of the things that had bothered me about TFP was how artificial everything on Sherrinford seemed, and how different it was from the style and structure of ordinary episodes.  But it helps to think of it as a culmination of the cruel and fucked up experiments/games we've seen Sherlock and Mycroft playing all along.  From Mycroft kidnapping John in the first episode, to the "flight of the dead", to Sherlock drugging and tricking John in THoB as an experiment, to the cruelty of the Tube car scene "just to see John's face", to the over-the-top confrontation with Mary at Leinster Square, to the scary clown in Mycroft's house...  It actually makes sense to me that if Mycroft and Sherlock have a sister, she'd be into this drama/silliness too.  And if they had an ~evil genius~ sister, she'd have to go even darker and more fucked up than they did.  Which is already pretty dark and fucked up!  So, viewed in that light, Eurus's experiment/game kind of makes some sense. It feels more like a natural culmination of the show, or at least of an element of it.  Rather than a completely bizarre left turn. 

It also helped me to headcanon that Sherlock is ~kind of~ a willing participant in the game.  And in fact, so is Mycroft.  It's not like Saw or other horror movies, where the heroes are regular people who are completely horrified by their situation.  I think both Sherlock and Mycroft know they could think their way out of this "game" if they really wanted to, but they choose to play along.  Maybe because they genuinely want to reach their sister, maybe they think they owe it to her.  Maybe because they're dramatic weirdos too, and they just like this stuff.  This is the Holmes family idea of a fun afternoon.

And I think this is something Moriarty has always enjoyed too.  As consulting criminal, the crimes he set up were just to make money or get revenge or whatever – ordinary human motivations that he always found boring.  Sherlock intrigued him because he had this concept of crime as a game they could play together/against each other, and Moriarty discovered he loved that.  So I can imagine that he was thrilled when Eurus invited him to play along in the Holmes Family games.  I prefer not to think that she mind-controlled him or used him.  It makes more sense to me as a real partnership, where they sat around together planning out these ridiculous games for Sherlock and Mycroft to play.  And Jim would have found that endlessly amusing.

(and no, it wasn't all accomplished in five minutes.  Five minutes was the time Eurus needed to introduce herself to Jim and tell him about Redbeard.  After that, she and Jim together could certainly manipulate or strong arm the Governor into giving her whatever she wanted, so I'm sure they spent more time together—on skype if nothing else. )

Does any of this make sense with the idea that Jim thought Sherlock was going to kill himself on Bart's roof? No, it doesn't.  There's no point in trying to think about that too much, because it honestly does not make much psychological or logistical sense.  But you know what?  Reichenbach never did.  The explanation we got for Reichenbach about who knew what when never made a lick of sense, and I made peace with that ages ago.  I don't think it was even supposed to make sense, really.

That too has helped me come to terms with TFP.  I don't think it's great that they took a lot of stuff that *did* make sense, and retconned it to make *less* sense (like Redbeard, and Sherlock's parents).  But that's always been a premise of this show too – best not to look too closely at the details.  To a certain extent, this show demands that you make the choice to just go with narrative and have fun with it.  

And in that respect, it's very like ACD canon.  There are a million plot holes, contradictions, inconsistencies, and implausibilities in ACD.  Every reader of ACD has to figure out how to make peace with these at some point. Some ignore them, some develop hyper-complicated backstories to justify them, some accept them as just part of the fun and silliness.  I tend to be in that last camp, and I think Moftiss are too. So I'm willing to accept any plot holes, etc. as a kind of homage to Arthur Conan "I can't remember my main character's first name" Doyle.  I mean, the Moriarty storyline if anything makes even *less* sense in Doyle. 

The other thing that has helped me appreciate TFP is thinking of it as a showcase for the actors.  I still pretty much feel that the story Moftiss were telling came to a natural and basically satisfying conclusion at the end of TLD.  So that left Episode 3 as a coda where they could have some fun/do whatever they wanted. And I think one thing they decided to do was give the actors (especially Benedict and Mark, and to some extent Loo) a lot of super intense emotional scenes to play, which may not have made tremendous sense within the scope of the story, but are a lot of fun for the actors. This show has always primarily been a story of the relationship between John and Sherlock.  With that thread more or less resolved in TLD, I think Gatiss particularly decided it would be fun to spend the last episode digging deeper into the Sherlock/Mycroft relationship and giving them some powerful scenes together. Sure, some of it was a little OTT and OOC, but after all they've given us, how can I begrudge Mark Gatiss a little fun? 

So that's pretty much where I'm at right now in my efforts to come to terms with TFP.  I've watched it a number of times now, and there really is a lot to enjoy: powerful acting, enjoyably loopy story concepts, some great lines, and a lot of gorgeous imagery.  Yeah, they made some narrative choices I would have advised against, but... it's okay. I can accept it.  Nothing is perfect, but overall, Sherlock came very very close.  

[naomi-l-tiessen-blog]

Tips on Finding Inspiration to Write

Helllloooooo everybody ~

Happy Thursday Blogday!

So, you've finally done it. You’ve broken through the writing hiatus. You've admitted defeat, and know in your heart of hearts that it's time to brush off the dust on your novel baby and write again. So……now what?

I’m not all that fond of musicals, but one exception is Moulin Rouge. I LOVE that movie. Ewan McGregor can serenade me anytime. Alright, eassssy there, Scarlette, focus. I promise this weird little story has a point. One of my favorite parts of the movie is when Christian, one of the main protagonists, moves to Paris to fulfill his dream of writing about love. Only, hold up *record scratches to a halt*…Christian doesn’t know a thing about love. In the words of the Great Swedish Chef: Vurt Da Furk.

Christian has a passion for love, is motivated beyond all belief to write about it, has 100% gumption to write, but he lacks inspiration. Awkward.

The same thing often happens to writers. They have a passion for writing, and are incredibly motivated up the ying-yang to write, but sometimes, as much as we don’t want to admit it, the inspiration well runs a little dry.

If you thought you were the only one that experienced this, don’t worry, you aren’t. Get off your pedestal…you aren’t special (despite what yo mama says…oh snap!).

Everyone goes through this from time to time. And that’s totally fine.

“But Scarlette, you wrote about motivation just a couple weeks ago! Isn’t motivation and inspiration the same thing?”

First of all, great question! Second of all, how dare you even think that?? Just kidding. But in all seriousness, they aren’t the same thing. Motivation is the act of psyching yourself up. Chest-pounding, head-banging, screaming profanities until your lungs ache…that sort of stuff. It’s getting pumped up to do something maybe you don’t want to do, but know you need to. Whether it’s for finishing your manuscript, getting published, or for the greater good of mankind, motivation is all about finding the strength to get from point A to point B. Sometimes it’s positive, and sometimes it’s negative. Inspiration is passion-driven, coming from within. It’s about being tuned in with your inner self, being in alignment with whatever makes you “tick”. Often, when you are inspired, you can feel it in your bones, and you set out on your own path to seek fulfillment. Inspiration might not always be obviously productive, but generally the end result is positive on account of self-discovery and true, natural growth. Think of it this way: inspiration is the engine, and motivation is the vehicle. Each has their own individual purpose, but together, they become a force to be reckoned with. Inspiration and motivation often go hand in hand, and help feed one another.

Ok, lesson over. Class dismissed.

Just kidding, you still need to finish reading my blog.

Here are 10 tips on sparking your inspiration for your writing journey! Now, these are just 10 tips in a sea of millions and millions of ideas. These ones are some of my favorites that I find work best for me. Some of these might mesh well with your writer’s soul, and some of them might not. And that’s ok! There are plenty more ideas where these came from.

1) Music. What are you listening to? Is it clashing with the scene you are writing? Maybe rocking out to Celine Dione's "My Heart Will Go On," is not the best material to be listening to when you are writing an epic battle sequence featuring a shit ton of blood and gore. Personally, I can't listen to lyrical music (brain stops working, and silly Scarlette starts writing down the lyrics instead), so I opt for orchestral goodness. Anything from Lord of the Rings scores, to video game soundtracks and remixes, to dubstep. The thing about these types of playlists is they have a wide range of genres to fit into the mood you are trying to write. Switch it up!  

2) Carry around a little notebook and pen so you can jot down anything that is potential writing material. You never know when inspiration will strike, and Life seems to know when you are un-prepared, the sneaky bastard. How many times has this happened to you: you are walking along and suddenly a string of dialogue trickles through your unsuspecting mind. Or you see someone who has an uncanny resemblance to a character in your novel, but has a couple traits you didn’t think to include. Or you are sitting in a coffee shop and overhear a conversation that would fit in oh-so perfectly with that scene you’ve been stuck on for aggggeeeessss. Seriously, inspiration and ideas are literally all around you, just begging for you to take notice. So you, brimming with excitement, reach for the notebook you could’ve sworn you put in your bag the other day. Only it’s not there, because you are a writer and have way too many notebooks to possibly keep track of. In a mad panic, you look for something, anything to write on, but it’s too late; just like that, the moment is gone. Has this happened to me? Never! *goes and cries quietly in the corner*.

3) Try looking at your manuscript from a different angle. No, I don’t mean flipping it upside down (unless that works for you?). And no, I don’t mean pulling a Big Hero 6 and having someone hold YOU upside down, either (…unless THAT works for you?). What I mean is, if staring at your manuscript waiting for inspiration to strike simply isn’t working, try something else. For me, if I know exactly what I want my characters to say, but I’m stuck on when they say it, I’ll make dialogue my priority. I’ll write out every.single.thing I want my characters to say in bullet form, and once it’s all out of my head and safely on my computer screen, I’ll work on filling in the blanks. Sometimes it’s hard thinking about everything at once (dialogue, setting, tags, emotions, etc), so freeing up some space in your noggin helps the ideas flow a bit easier. Side-note, this also helps me figure out whether my dialogue is helping properly propel (say that ten times fast) my story forward, or if it’s just a waste of space. Bonus!  

4) Change it up. Go outside, get some fresh air. Get the blood flowing. Now, I’m not always a physically-active person, but going for a little walk is a great way to blow off steam, help the frustration fizzle out, and allow new ideas to present themselves. And if exercise (or leaving your house) isn’t exactly your cup of tea, maybe try something else. Stop staring at your computer screen and maybe start writing longhand for a bit. Take a break to do a writing prompt instead. Go on the internet and look at pictures for character and setting inspiration. Read inspirational quotes from other authors (seriously, my saving grace). Host an emergency dance party. Try something different!

5) Have a writing buddy? Maybe bounce ideas off each other. Once my friend and I were playing a game of Scrabble before initiating our writing date, and for every word we created, we had to tell an elaborate story about said word, as well as how it corresponded to any word it was attached to. By the end of it, we had concocted completely ridiculous stories. But this really helped us tap into our creative sides, helped the brain juices (shit balls…how does this saying keeping making it into my blog?!) start flowing (…disgusting). You can also use your writing buddy to be your soundboard for ideas you aren’t 100% sure about. If you don’t have a writing buddy, have no fear! Have you ever thought really hard about something, and it seems damn-near genius, perfect, Nobel Prize worthy in your sweet little naïve head? Then you open your mouth, and nothing but garbage comes out? And as you are talking, you see your audience’s face fall with confusion, and all you can think is, “oh God. No. Please stop. Just stop talking. YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE!” And it’s at this point that you realize that it sounded SO much better in your head? Ok, well, to save you the embarrassment, I’ll tell you right now that you don’t always need an audience. Unless you have a fur-baby. I’d like to think that they count as audience members. But sometimes all you need is a quiet room, some walking space to pace around, and maybe a squishy stress ball to wring your pent-up aggression into. And when you are good and ready, talk to the walls. The act of talking out loud, even if it’s just to yourself, will help you hear the mistakes and holes in your ideas, or help create new ideas altogether. If this still doesn’t work, try recording yourself, wait for a chunk of time, and listen to the recording (while trying not to cringe on how weird you sound).  

6) Be a stereotypical writer. People watch, eavesdrop, watch the world blaze forward with you on the sidelines, like a ninja in the shadows. Or a really creepy stalker. I like the ninja reference better, so we are going to stick with that one. Watch TV and movies. Listen carefully to the dialogue, how the characters react, how the scenes are set up. Read books and graphic novels. Look at the character’s facial expressions and figure out how you’d describe what emotion they are portraying in your own work.  Use all this to help feed your creativity and spark your thoughts until they are running wild with ideas.

7) Find something that feeds your creativity monster. For some, it might be the smell of coffee, or meditating, or doodling. For me, I daydream a lot; I let scenes from my story play out in my head like a movie. I watch my characters react, listen to them talk, add quirks that make them more human, personable. Find some sort of habit or hobby that tends to help the ideas naturally flow easier without you having to force them out of hiding. BUT, with that said, obviously have limitations. Don’t watch an entire Doctor Who or Supernatural season in the name of science and inspiration. No. Bad. Don’t do that.

8) Start a writer's journal to mark your progress. It’s nice to see how far you’ve come! From budding ideas, to plot building, to character developing, outlining, chapter sequences, and world building. All that fun stuff is incredibly handy to keep track of. I often find that if I’m stuck in a rut, I like to read over my old materials and review my journals. It helps remind me of the ideas I might’ve put on the back burner, and re-kindle my excitement on current projects when I see how far my hard work has gotten me. And worst-case-scenario, it’s always good for a laugh at yourself. I have no idea what 16-year-old Scarlette was thinking in some of those earlier entries.  

9) Sleep on it. No, seriously. Have you ever noticed that you can spend hours gritting your teeth and pulling out your hair while trying to think of something that is on the tip of your tongue, you can nearly put your finger on it, but it’s just out of reach? And finally, after wasting hours and getting nowhere, frustrated and fed up, you go to bed. And right when you are about to fall asleep, in that weird, limbo state between awake and asleep, that certain something pops into your head with ease. Know why? It’s because your subconscious is relaxing. You aren’t distracted by life around you, thus allowing your subconscious to come forward, unfiltered and uninhibited, free from cognitive obstacles of the day. Granted, this can happen during the day as well (it’s happened to me when I’m waiting to board a bus, or standing in line at a grocery store), but it isn’t as regular, as common sense often kicks in before your subconscious has a chance to make an appearance. Having said that, don’t beat yourself up about spending hours upon hours thinking hard and coming up empty-handed; often all that thinking helps drive the ideas forward, making it easier for your subconscious to present them later on.  

10) Simply write. You can't just sit around waiting for your Muse to stroll through the door; you can't rely on that flaky bitch. You might end up waiting a couple hours, which can then turn to days, months, years, etc. It's not a safe tactic, unless you are totally cool with your book being done in 10 years. It's up to you and you alone to get the words onto the paper. Worry about editing later. Just focus and breaking through that block and finding the inspiration behind it.

And that’s it! There are tons of ways to get inspired out there if you know where to look. The world is bursting with ideas just waiting to get plucked by our eager writer minds. These are just a few options, but they are still quite handy! What are some ways that you get inspired to write?

With that said, I post new blogs every Thursday, and if there is anything you’d like me to discuss, feel free to message me on here, or tweet me @ScarletteStone

Until next time, 

Happy Writing!

[michael-radi-the-glamorous-life]

Why Is *THAT* A Musical?

If I had a nickel for every time I was asked this question, or even asked this question myself, I would have a very large number of relatively heavy and annoying coins.

But I do wonder - How often do people hear about a new musical or see a marquee and think this question to themselves? I mean, what makes a story ripe for adaptation into a musical? Why do some musicals seem like no-brainers, while others make us scratch our heads and think, “Huh. Really? That one?”

The Lehman Engel BMI Musical Theatre Writing Workshop answer to the question of what type of stories should be adapted into musicals is a relatively simple and subjective one: If you think there’s more within the story that should be told, and that music will enhance that storytelling, then it is likely adaptable into a musical. But if the story feels complete in its current form, and it doesn’t seem like music will enhance the piece and its purpose, it should probably be left alone.

Despite the subjective nature of this statement, I do think there’s truth to it. If you look at the types of stories that have been most successfully adapted into musicals (and most musicals are adaptations), the use of music in the storytelling has heightened the plots and characters, and filled in some invisible hole that helps the audience interact with the material.

This is the reason, I think, that certain stories see multiple attempts at musical adaptation. For a couple of examples, we have 2 adaptations of The Phantom of the Opera, 2 musicals of The Wild Party, and countless musical versions of Shakespeare’s plays (most of which have not worked well). Some stories feel as though they could be told well, or better, in musical theatre form and therefore multiple adaptations appear. Some are good, and some aren’t. Some use the original author’s intents, and some leave them behind.

Successful adaptation is a tricky process - and I know this from adapting one of the most-adapted stories in musical theatre, The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow. Approximately 5-6 musical versions of this story exist, but none of them has had great mainstream or commercial success. Yet. But why? What goes into this process?

“Adapt or Perish”

Thanks H.G. Wells! In the natural world, I totally agree. But in the theatrical world, I would probably alter it to say: “Adapt well or perish.”

Adapting a story for the stage is difficult, especially when it’s well-known. Adapting a story into a musical specifically adds many additional layers of difficulty.

But Michael, wouldn’t coming up with an entirely original story be harder?

Why yes, sole reader of this blog! In many ways an original musical is much harder, since the entire burden of plot and character rests on the writers. There’s nothing to build from.

So then, what’s the issue?

Excellent question!

There are 3 main issues I see when it comes to making a musical adaptation:

Audiences enter with ideas about the story and characters already formulated.

The original author’s intent and basic structures may or may not still be present.

Music is meant to enhance, but what exactly are you enhancing for your version?

Audience Expectation

When adapting a well-known story, book, movie, play, etc., your audience will come into the performances with preconceived notions.

Now, perhaps they’ve never actually encountered the original material, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be an image, idea, feeling, emotion, or otherwise already planted, which will color their expectations. So how does this alter your approach?

In all honesty, I wouldn’t give it too much thought.

What?! But if your audience isn’t on board, then you’re sunk!

True. But the best way to get the audience on board with what you’re writing is simply to write well. The only real decision you have to make is whether you’re going to take the story in a direction that will feed into audience expectation, or break from it (and to what degree). But, if you successfully create and introduce your world and characters to the audience and set them up for the journey you’re going to take them on, then they will follow.

Application: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

One of the most interesting things my composer and I have encountered in adapting The Legend of Sleepy Hollow has been the complete and utter variance in the levels of familiarity with this story.

I can say that title to anyone and some sort of preconceived notion will suddenly appear, but it is vastly different depending on the person. Some people have only ever seen the Disney short film. Others the Tim Burton film. Others had a watered down version read to them as a child, but don’t remember anything about it. Some people have no idea what you’re talking about until you say the words “Headless Horseman.” New Yorkers read this story in school, but basically no one else in the country does. And almost no one has read the story recently or has a particularly accurate idea of what takes place in its small number of pages.

Quite the range, eh?

So what did we learn from this?

We could never in a million years satisfy everyone’s expectations, so we shouldn’t try.

The name of the story is evocative in and of itself.

General feelings about the story seem more pervasive than the actual characters and plot.

Only certain images are universally retained, namely that of the Headless Horseman.

Author’s Intent

What is this story about? Why was it originally told? Why should it continue to be told? What did the original author want their audiences to take away? What do you want your audiences to take away? Are they the same?

Far too often I see musical adaptations that have abandoned the original intents and message of the story. Suddenly, an entire plot point will disappear, or a character will make a decision that’s inconsistent with the plot. Is it okay to do this? Certainly! However, the most successful adaptations that make these changes tend to abandon the brand of the original story, treat the original more like a guideline, and come into their own as an individual piece of musical theatre.

Small example: we all know that West Side Story is essentially Romeo and Juliet, but it also isn’t. The basic plot is still there, but characters are added and subtracted as needed. Tony and Romeo are not very alike if you compare them side by side. The purposeful movement of the time and setting add and subtract layers from the story. And the biggest change: the entire ending sequence. Romeo and Juliet is famous for its graveyard scene, whereas in West Side Story the sequence of events has been altered and Maria is left to live with the results. But has Shakespeare’s message been lost? I personally do not think so.

Now, I’m not saying that to keep a title or a brand you must strictly adhere to the original author’s structure, plot, and character creation. You have chosen this piece to enhance it, which will require changes. But if a piece was written to highlight social injustice and you alter it so much that this message becomes completely lost, then you may need to rethink your adaptation. Or if a character is famous for being one way because that drives the story, but you subvert that, then the piece just might crumble.

Application: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

This was a tricky one. We spent a great deal of time trying to determine what Washington Irving’s purpose was in telling this story.

Was it a commentary on social constructs and collective thinking? Was it about superstition and its effects on a community? Was it a cautionary tale about individual gullibility? A comment on small-town American life? A slight aimed at Dutch settlers and their descendants? A celebration of the haunted nature of the beautiful American landscape? A questioning of what is real? Or was it just a silly little tale?

The key for us was when we remembered that this story, which has only a handful of spoken lines, was not actually being told by Washington Irving. In the collection of tales, there is a narrator who provides us with the context for the story of Ichabod Crane, Brom Bones, Katrina Van Tassel, and the Headless Horseman, and then he gives us the story itself. It was a story within a story.

So why was the narrator telling us this story?

The answer to that question ultimately did not matter, for we had found our way in. Stories are told with purpose, whether or not their contents are true. And this was the common thread throughout The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.

Storytelling cropped up throughout the piece, in the form of ghost stories, minor tales of the countryside, re-tellings of American Revolution battles, and lots of town gossip. All of this while being narrated by a character who has his own reasons, but who is also being written by Washington Irving. And this was the point of the piece: Why do we tell stories, and how do they help us get what we desire?

Music and Story Enhancement

Music is evocative. Music is language. Music is math. Music is emotion. Music is ethereal. Music is nebulous. Music can have an immeasurable impact.

So why a musical? How is music going to help you tell this story? Why is music the thing that was lacking from the original story, and how will you utilize it to strengthen the piece? Why are they singing?

There are a million-and-one ways to answer these questions, but here’s the key: You had better have an answer and it better be a good one. And additionally, the audience better be able to pick up on your reasoning, consciously or unconsciously.

Some people self-proclaim that they hate musicals, and the reason they give is generally the same: Why are they bursting out into song? It doesn’t make sense. People don’t do that.

***Side Note: Anyone who says this clearly doesn’t spend enough time around musical theatre folk.

The incorporation of music has to be earned. The circumstances or emotion must be so great, so heightened, that music not only feels natural at that moment, but necessary.

This is so incredibly important, and I cannot stress it enough.

Application: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Once we realized that the story, and therefore the entire musical, was about telling stories in order to manipulate and acquire, the music was a natural addition. Add on top that superstition, ghost stories, and the other-worldly lend themselves to musicality as well, and having moments of song became absolutely integral to the storytelling.

All of our main characters needed strong desires. The original story gave very little, particularly to the almost non-existent Katrina Van Tassel, the two-dimensional Brom Bones, and amorphous Baltus Van Tassel, so we provided the extra layers. We came up with what exactly each character desires most and what makes them tick. From there, the question became how exactly would they go about attempting to manipulate their situations and the people around them in order to get their desires. And this is where music came in.

Surprisingly, we discovered that since almost every line and moment of interaction had to do with manipulation, storytelling, and/or the supernatural, moments without music felt extremely odd. Not that we think the show should be sung-through, but underscore became as necessary and enhancing as the song moments. It was a wonderful discovery. The music helps complete this story in the same way that the verbosely descriptive language aided Irving’s original story.

I’m No Expert

I will very readily admit that I am no expert on the topic of musical theatre adaptation, and I am certainly continuing to learn as I go through the process myself. But these are my observations thus far in my career, and I do think they have merit and factual evidence to support them.

Adaptation is hard. But it’s very doable. Without it, most of the musical theatre canon would not exist.

***Another Note: If you’re interested in learning more about my adaptation of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow with composer Sean Havrilla, click on the Musicals page or feel free to contact me!

Otherwise, thank you for reading and happy adapting, my friends!