#just mmmm stats

[sporthb1]

this years fic stats and review

As great as the ao3 stats are I hate them, I'm an engineer I love excel and I always know I can do it better

so to  me I don’t achualy care if people are reading my fics all the hits graphs matters to me is if I’m in a big fandom and I’m tagging and blurbing well, but I do small fandoms so that doesn’t matter to me.

so review, maxiel does the best and the worst was FDA kids .... dont know what you where expecting ... so uhh yeah

but now to the interesting stuff, the kudos per hit,  to me this number tells me the percentage of people who read it and went ‘yeah sure thats good’ which is the most important number

so interestingly small fandoms and groups are more appreciative of my writing probably cuase they are just happy someone is writing and there is less saturation of content (see how spokes person went from last to first), also sequels are generally received better than the first, probably cuase if you made it that far you probably like the idea and my writing style.

now the overall so blue is kudos/hit, then orange is comment/hit, grey is sub/hit, and yellow is bookmark/hit, to me comments tell me how provocative my content is, grey is if I should write more, yellow is how likely you are to reread it

so yes I know the kudos makes the range go whack but i still love it cuase look at inheritance, people didnt really like it but boy they wanted more, much higher than any other by a long way, the rest follow the trend you would expect.

same thing again just a better look at how whack inheritance is, (possibly because it is the only multi chaptered fic).

[phagodyke]

one of the best things abt elvanse is how it makes me feel more "present" so time seems to pass at a more measurable pace... just utilised this power to snuggle in bed for an extra 2 hours on this fine sunday morning and brother I've felt every single minute of it 😌

[arolesbianism]

I need 2 get back on the fanart grind stat I need to draw orbo blorbos

[bteezxyewriter12]

Coachella Vibes

Pairing- Mingi x Named Reader

Word count- 1.5k

Includes- Coachella Mingi, rough sex, cock riding, sex from behind, dirt talk, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13 @mknae-jongho @bykeynote

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Mingi Masterlist

Mingi POV

I fumble with the key card, missing the slot to put it in completely

I try again and miss

It's hard to find it without looking

"Baby wait", I groan against her lips, trying to break the kiss

"Mmm", she whines in my mouth, her arms tightening around my neck

"Need to get in the room aegi", I murmur

We need to get in the room stat or we're just gonna end up fucking in the hallway

I'm still all riled up from the Coachella performance and I need her right now

It took everything in me not to take her right in the car on the way to the hotel

Since we got in the elevator I've been kissing her wildly, picking her up and holding her, her legs feeling so good wrapped around my waist

How I managed to carry her down the hall to the room and get the key card from my pocket, I don't know

I just know I need to get in the fucking room

"Aegi wait", I say, pulling back slightly, looking at the door

I jam the card in the slot, pull it out, the light turning green

Finally

Shoving the door open, I kick it closed, hit the light switch, illuminating the room

I barely make it to the bed, landing on top of her, her lips right against mine again

"Mmmm", I moan, falling into her kiss

Her kisses are everything, making me feel things I've never felt before

She presses her body against mine, her hands sliding down and undoing my belt, her tongue down my throat

I grab her shirt, pulling it and ripping it down the middle, the sound of it tearing so satisfying

Breaking the kiss, I push her tattered shirt off and we quickly undress each other, clothes flying all over the place

She sits up, her lips against mine again as she pushes me back, climbing in my lap

There are no words exchanged, just kisses as she holds my dick up, positioning herself over me

I grip her hips, waiting for her to sit on me

She takes me in slowly, her tight little pussy opening just enough for my cock to slide in, immediately clenching around me as she goes down

My cock is flooded in her juice as unbelievable pleasure runs through my body

She sits up, leaning back on my leg, her head tilted back, pleasure on her face as she moves her hips in a circle, wiggling down the rest of my cock

I hit her spot, her gorgeous body shivering, a soft moan of my name sounding in the room

She begins to move immediately, bouncing slowly on my dick, her head moving down, her eyes directly on me

I watch the gorgeous erotic sight of her riding me and I've never been more turned on

She moves a touch faster each bounce, her pussy so tight around my cock

"Mmm Mingi", she whimpers, getting a good pace going, her boobs wiggling as she moves, "So good"

I nod, "So good baby"

My eyes travel down and I moan when I see the pretty creamy mess she's leaving all over my cock

It's everywhere, a thick creamy ring around the base of my cock

Her pretty pussy lips petal open as she takes me inside her, her hole straining around my cock

"Fuck so hard Mingi"

I nod, groaning, "You're so wet baby. So tight. So warm fuck"

She bounces faster, the loud sound of her pussy squelching around my cock mixing with the sound of our skin hitting

She grinds on me every time she takes me in, rubbing her spot with my head, her pussy closing around my cock every time she does

"Oh god", she cries, hopping on my cock like a bunny, sweat all over her body

"Yeah baby fuck, so pretty on my cock", I praise her, "Doing such a good job"

She whines, leaning her hand on my chest, right on the "fix on" that was painted on my body

"Mmm aegi", I groan, watching her ride me hard, feeling her clench me tightly, "That's it baby. Fuck yourself on my cock"

"Mingi", she cries, her nails digging into my chest

"Yes fuck don't stop", I urge her, the pleasure so fucking good, "Fuck yourself on it until you cum all over my cock"

"Mingi", she whines

"C'mon baby", I moan, "You can do it. Wanna feel you cum"

God, I crave that pleasure

I never chased a girl's orgasm the way I chase hers

I just want to feel it over and over

It's that good

"Please aegi", I groan, "Cum for my cock and I promise I'll fuck you after"

She slams down harder, her body shaking with her impending orgasm

Her pussy throbs so blissfully, I want to stay inside her forever

"Please baby", I whine

The next slam down, has her body stiffening as she climaxes, screaming my name

"Mingi!"

Intense pleasure washes over me as I groan, watching the pretty sight of her coming

"So pretty baby", I praise her as she finishes

Her eyes open, looking down at me and I grin up at her

She leans down, kissing me and I eagerly kiss her back

I roll us over, kissing her, her arms around my neck, her fingers in my hair and I swear this is what I want everyday with her

Not just fucking like we've been doing

I want her, all of her

We pull away when the kiss ends and I roll her to her stomach, helping her on her hands and knees

"Gonna fuck you so good baby", I tell her, "Make this pussy cum again"

With that, I shove inside her hard, bottoming out in one shot, her loud cries of pleasure so fucking beautiful

I move fast, pumping my cock in her pussy, bottoming out with every thrust

"Yes Mingi", she moans

I lean over her back, her soft sweaty skin against mine, my arm wrapped around her waist

Her pussy takes my huge dick so well, sucking on my cock as I go inside, locking around me, trying to keep me in when I pull out

Moving her hair over one of her shoulders, I press kisses into her neck, loving the way her skin trembles under my lips

"Mingi", she moans softly, her arm reaching behind her, wrapping around my neck, holding me close

"Baby", I whisper, nuzzling into her neck as I keep thrusting in her pleasurable pussy

"Don't stop", she whines

"I won't", I assure her, splitting her cunt wide open, "Not until you cum for me again"

She nods, her body shivering with each hit to her spot, cunt spasming so blissfully

"Gonna cum", she whines, making me move faster

"Do it baby", I groan, her pussy becoming so tight, it's hard to push through

Shoving in, she screams my name as she explodes, shaking under me as I keep fucking her

"Fill me Mingi", she begs, pushing her ass against my pelvis, keeping me inside her as her cunt throbs

"Fuck Joanne", I cry, burying in her tiny cunt, ecstacy bursting in my body as I cum

My body shakes as I shoot cum inside her, her cunt milking my cock so expertly, driving me crazy

As we come down from the pleasure, I pull out, laying down next to her on my back, panting

She comes closer to me and I move my arm around her, pulling her against me

She lays her head on my chest, breathing hard too, her body curled against mine

I kiss the top of her head, her soft giggle so adorable

She kisses my jaw and I turn my head down to her, capturing her soft lips in a kiss

Her arm moves around my neck as I turn my body to hers, both my arms wrapped around her, keeping her firmly against me

The kiss is soft, sweet, exactly what I need right now

After, I look down into her beautiful eyes, my fingers running in her hair

"I love you", I whisper softly

A gorgeous smile comes on her face as she says, "I love you Mingi"

"Yeah?", I ask, smiling

She nods, "Yeah. So much"

I nod, knowing how she feels, "So much baby"

She giggles, giving me a peck on the lips

"You're mine", I say softly

"Always baby", she answers, "You're mine too"

"One hundred percent", I assure her

"Good", she smiles

I nod, "Good"

She cuddles into me, hugging me tightly as I do the same

"Baby, I gotta shower", I tell her

She laughs, "Yeah, you gotta wash this paint shit off"

"Hey you like it"

"Of course", she agrees, her eyes sparkling, "But you can't sleep in it"

She's right about that

"Can you come with me?", I ask, not wanting to be apart from her yet

"Yeah baby, of course"

"Thanks aegi"

She smiles, kissing me again

Then we disentangle from each other and I stand up

Reaching for her, I pick her up, her soft squeak so cute

"I can walk Mingi", she says, laughing

"I know but I wanna carry you baby. Your so cute and compact"

She snorts, "Ok baby. Lead the way"

"Yes ma'am", I laugh, carrying my baby to the bathroom for a shower

[rbbrbikerthorp]

A Room For The Night

“Urgh!” I said to myself as I walked down the dingy corridor looking at the numbers on the doors. A sign points the way; up another flight of stairs.

“Room 507 - here it is,″ I said to myself..I put an actual key key into the lock. I turn it to the door to the attic bedroom, I still can’t believe that all the known chains in town were full for the night. After. a really long day trudging around the city from meeting to meeting and then entertaining a customer, I’d missed my last train home. I must’ve checked out two dozen hotels online before I managed to find one with a room. I guess ‘beggars can’t be choosers’.

As I opened the door the stench hit me in the face; a mix of smoke, damp and old furniture offended my nose. No point complaining; there was no alternatives and it would only be for one night.

I dropped my bag on the bed and walked over to the sash window to see If I could open it, but it wouldn’t budge. Years of painting had sealed it shut.  

I looked around the room to see if there was another way to get some ventilation in. There was ventilation panel and a switch on the wall below it. When I flicked the switch, I was pleasantly surprised that hotel had fitted one of those silent air-con units you can hear faintly as opposed to one with a fan that creates an unbearable noise. I looked around the room and spotted a TV on the wall, there was a fridge and kettle. I also noticed a wardrobe, but as I was only staying one night I wouldn’t unpack my bag. 

I guess the day was catching up with me, because I began to feel very tired. Just then I remembered I had to send a couple of emails before the end of the day. So I grabbed my laptop and sat at the desk. As I typed away, I could hear comforting sound of the air conditioning whispering away in the background . “Mmmm perhaps this wasn’t so bad for one night,“ I thought. The two important emails were sent plus, I sent another to my department head summarising meetings - not something I’d normally do, but I felt compelled to do it on this occasion. I logged out and closed my laptop.

I decided to take a shower before bed. I stripped out of my suit trousers and shirt and head into the bathroom. I turned on the shower, and stepped in, the hot water immediately relieved the tension in my muscles. Not having planned to stay away for the night I didn’t have any toiletries with me, but I was amazed to discover a hotel of this standard actually provided a selection of bathroom amenities for guests.

I cracked open the shower gel and rubbed it into my hair. I whiffed the scent, “wow that’s really overpowering,” I thought. I tried to figure out what the scent was but for some reason my mind wandered onto other things. I massaged it into my hair, lost in the smell, closing my eyes. I stood under the water raining down from the shower head feeling the suds wash out of my hair.. I reopened the bottle of shower gel and applied it everywhere, wanting the smell to cover me entirely. The smell is making me feel soooooooo relaxed and sooooooo horny. Eventually, I know I’ve left the soap on me for long enough and rinse myself off

Turning off the shower, I step out and grab one of the towels from the rail and dry myself off. I felt so drained but also so relaxed. I walk out of the en-asuite and drop the towel on the floor and, fully naked, I climb under the covers. At the side of the bed is the remote control, I grab it and turn on the TV. 

When the screen came alive there was just static. I flicked through the channels, but it was the same. “Urgh”, I thought, “here we go, the TV doesn’t work.” I was about to get up and see whether the cable had come loose but I found myself captivated by the colours on the screen. There was also a strange humming noise emanating from the television that made it hard to think. I laid there, watching the pretty colours,”sooooo beauuutifullll…” As I watched I became hornier and hornier but I found couldn’t move a muscle. I began to panic, the static was interspersed by coloured spirals and then there were flashes. the flashes grew brighter and more frequent - I’m sure the flashes were actually words but I couldn’t tell. I kept staring at the screen, open-mouthed. 

All I could do was stare at the screen. Sometime later the screen finally went blank. I reached to the bedside table and switched off the light. I quickly drifted off to sleep listening to the soundtrack of the whispering air conditioning.

I vaguely recall having this weird dream when suddenly I came around. Rolling over I tapped my phone to check the time, it was only 3:30am. A thought entered my head - I needed to get up and check the wardrobe. “What? Are you serious?” I laid there for what felt like ages , but the thought didn’t go away. In fact the voice in my head kept getting louder, Check the wardrobe...Check the wardrobe...Check the wardrobe..It kept getting louder still. Check the wardrobe... Eventually the compulsion took over. I climbed out of bed and walked over the wardrobe, and opened the door. 

As I pulled the doors open, right away there was a rank smell of old leather and cigarette smoke. Hanging inside the wardrobe were some clothes and a pair of boots. Even though I knew thugs wore clothes like these, I couldn’t help myself, I had to touch them. My hand brushed against the green bomber jacket; I felt a static charge that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I picked up the boots, lifted them and held them to my face. They looked as though they’d been well worn. I took a deep breath. Inside each one, someone had stuffed in a sock. At first the smell of foot odour and leather was overpowering, but after inhaling the scent for a few minutes I felt intoxicated and started feeling horny again. 

I picked up the pair of jeans that looked like they’d been splashed with bleach. They looked like they’d been worn a few times since the last wash. There was also a black polo shirt on another hanger. “Hmmm,” I thought, “The last person staying here must have left this behind. I’ll have to mention this to reception when I check out. I put everything back in its place, closed the wardrobe door and went back to bed to try and get some more sleep. 

Back in bed I laid staring at the ceiling listening to the whispering air con. “Was that a voice I could hear? Was it telling me I should try on the clothes hanging in the wardrobe. Why on earth would I want to try on another person’s worn, actually well-worn clothes?” I laid in bed contemplating what the voice in my head was telling me to do. After a while i thought, “maybe I could try the clothes on - it would be a laugh. No, what am I thinking?” I was restless in bed. In the end the voice was becoming unbearable, I caved in. I got out of bed, opened the wardrobe again, and inhaled deeply. This time the smell didn’t offend me. I took out the contents put them on the bed and looked at them closely.

I grabbed the bleached jeans and slid them on, one leg at a time. I struggled to get into them as they were skin tight, probably a size too small compared to any trousers I’d normally wear. I stood up and walked to the mirror. The jeans had been cut short, so they just covered the knee. There was a clear bulge at the front. I turned around; the jeans were nice and tight around my arse. “Where did that thought come from?” I walked back over to the bed and picked up the black polo, with yellow piping on the collar. I raised my arms, slid it over my head. I looked okay to say I’m not the slimmest I could be.. My horniness was increasing.

The boots were next. I felt a definite tingle all over my body as I picked them up. I pulled the socks out and one at a time, I rolled up them up my legs. I studied the boots; the white laces were pristine. This was a total contrast to the rest of the clothes, which had been used multiple times. I could tell there was a certain way the previous owner had set about lacing them up.  It took me a few minutes to work out how to copy what had been done before that would, in the end, create a ladder effect. Instinctively knew they needed to be laced tightly onto my feet, so I started with the left and then moved onto the right boot. After a short while I’d got the the boots on my feet. I stood up and walked around. The boots felt heavier than anything I’d worn on my feet. 

Walking around the bedroom in these tightly laced boots than went all the way to the top of my calf muscles was amazing. I was getting hornier than ever. I could see my growing bulge in my bleached jeans. I walked over to the wardrobe, taking the green bomber jacket from the hanger and slipped it on. I noticed a lump in one of the pockets. Lifting out the contents, I held an unopened packet of cigarettes and a box of matches in my hand. I stood staring in the mirror for ages. I was experiencing a ‘sensory overload’ - that’s the only way I can describe it

The reflection in the mirror was obviously me, but it also wasn’t the me I’d known all my life. For the first time I felt different like a different person, but something didn’t look right. I stared and stared, then I had a revelation. “It’s the hair,” I said out loud, “You don’t wear clothes like this with a head full of hair.” Without thinking I went into the bathroom and looked through the amenities that the hotel provided. Sure enough there was a brand new Mach 3 razor and a tube of shaving cream. I slipped the off the jacket and removed the polo shirt.

Although i kept my hair relatively short, it was going to take some time to shave my head without being able to use any clippers to remove the bulk of my hair. In the whispering air con I heard a voice, so quiet you could barely make it out. It seemed to be whispering “desk drawer, desk drawer”. I walked back into the bedroom and opened the drawer. Inside was a solitary item; a pair of scissors. “Well,” I said to myself, “these will make things easier,” I went back into the bathroom and set about hacking at my hair with the scissors. Clumps of hair were falling into the sink. I kept snipping until there was almost nothing left to cut. 

I turned on the tap and ran the water until it got very hot. Next I squeezed plenty of shaving cream into my hands and applied it evenly all over my head. I rinse my hands of the foam and picked up the razor.

Instinctively I knew what I needed to do. I put the razor at the back of my crown, and pulled it towards my forehead. I rinse the razor under the running hot water. In steady strokes I went from front to back in the direction my hair seemed to be growing in.

I could feel my the bulge in my jeans getting harder and harder. I’d completed the top of my head. Time to do the sides. I put the razor just above the left hand side, pull it down in an even stroke, only stopping when reach the top of my cheek. When I’d finished the one side, I switched to the other side and did it all over again.

Between each stroke I’d rinse my razor in the hot water to keep the blades clean. When that was done, it was time to do the back. I took my time because I couldn’t see what I was doing. I carefully placed the razor at the back of my crown, then pulled it down toward the nape of my neck. I made very slow, even passes with the razor, repeating it until I could was happy that all my hair was gone.

One last scrape...done!

I looked in the mirror and could see my head was fully shaved and gleaming. At that moment I felt different. A ‘switch’ in my head flipped. I stared at myself in the mirror - I sensed I’d evolved. A new character had emerged, I was become mean and aggressive.

I was shaken from my thoughts by a knock at the door. I look through the peephole to see who was at the door. Whoever was standing on the other side of the door had obscured my view.

“Oi! Oi!, lad, open the door.”

It wasn’t a request, it was an order. I had to comply.

I opened the door, standing in front of me was a huge skinhead. He didn’t say anything nor did he smile. 

I spent a few seconds taking him in; From the tightly laced boots on his feet and the obscenely tight bleached jeans to the black bomber jacket, black gloves and shaved head. Not only did I feel tiny by comparison, I also felt intimidated by his appearance. 

He walked over to the other side of the room. Lit a cigarette, inhaled and blew the smoke in my direction.

He took another drag on the cig, exhaled and then spoke. “Right, let’s take a look at you.” 

I walked towards him, inhaling the second hand smoke. He studied me like a scientist looks at bacteria under the microscope. He smiled.

“Yep, it seems that you’ve responded exactly as you were instructed boy.”

All I could do was smile. If I’d have been a dog I’d have been wagging my tail; happy to have pleased my skinhead Boss. “Boss, where did that thought come from” I wondered? 

With that he took another drag on his cigarette. “Boy, I think you’ve already found a pack in your jacket pocket, get one out and light up, ...now! 

Again it wasn’t a request it was an instruction to be obeyed without question. I got one out of the pack, put it in my mouth. I got a match out of the box and, as I pulled it quickly along the side it ignited. I brought the light to my cigarette and instinctively inhaled. I held it for a few seconds and then exhaled.

He took another drag on his cigarette, exhaled in my direction and spoke. “Right boy, get yer wallet and phone and give ‘em to me.”

I walked across to the bedside table where my phone was and then went into my suit trouser pocket to get me wallet. I handed them over without question. 

He watched me finish my cigarette and then spoke, “I want you to get through that pack today boy.”

I didn’t say anything, I nodded still in shock as I realised for the first time in my life I’d smoked.

“Stay there boy, there’s one more thing to do.”

With that he took some red braces out of his pocket and attached them to the top of the jeans I was wearing. He handed back my phone. 

“That’s better - red braces to hold up yer bleachers. Take a selfie boy, and then give the phone back to me. It’s time to tell all your friends, family and workmates yer a skinhead now.”

I took the picture and handed him the phone. I watched him type out a message, attach the picture I’d just taken and select ‘send to all’. “Done,” he said, putting my phone back in his pocket. “Can’t wait to see the responses you get boy.” Now he had a big smile on his face, “Now put your shirt back on and grab yer jacket. Leave everything else behind, we’re leaving.”

He watched me pull the braces off my shoulder so I could put the polo shirt on. I was about to pull them back up when he said, “nah, leave them down. He paused for a few second, “now yer might be dressed like a skinhead boi, but you’ve got a lot to learn about the skinhead code. Yer gonna live with me and I’m going to show ya, but we need to make a few modifications first in order to finish your transformation. Let’s go...”

Without questioning my new Boss I grabbed my jacket and followed him out of the room. The door slammed shut behind me - not turning back. 

Walking down the corridor, we passed a room where someone had left a pair of black boots and some other gear outside. The skinhead turned around,“Ah good, looks like they’re getting ready for the next 'guest, who will join the growing skinhead ranks.”

At which point I grabbed the growing bulge in my bleachers and followed two paces this brute of a skinhead Boss ready to embark on my new life and the final stage of my transformation.

The End?

[All of the pictures used to illustrate the story have been found online. If I’ve used someone’s by mistake, let me know and I will remove it.]

[eial-daily]

Okay so just a little bit about this blog.

This is a gimmick blog, I post a lyric from Everything is a Lot daily. I also happen to go to school so just fair warning there, I don't have too much time to open tumblr sometimes. I use the tag #eial-daily for daily words and #not-eial-post for posts that aren't words. I post a line a day all at 8am. Also all the blogs that inspired this are: @black-parade-daily @mmmm-daily @incaseimakeit-daily @self-ish-daily .

Finally, this isn't my main blog. This is my main daily but besides that I have a couple other blogs.

Stats:

Current song: Cover This Song! (A Little Bit of Mine)

Words in the song:335

Join the Discord!

https://discord.com/invite/GfR8uruu2u

[hogwartspigeon]

Don't let the Pigeon write fanfiction

First post, first part of a new fanfic WIP. Had the idea as I drove back from chopping down a Christmas tree today. Not really relevant but

Character jumps into Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban but as a 5th year. Kinda already got some Hogwarts Legacy Elements in there as well.

Dunno where to post it so its coming on here!!!

Read all 1513 words below

As I opened my eyes a large blue screen showed brightly above me.

You have died.

“A fuck.” I said, with less emotion than one might expect. If the big blue screen was to be believed, then I really didn’t feel all that bad about it. Weird.

The words on the transparent screen flickered and new ones appeared.

You have been given one chance at another story- which will you choose?

I moved forward, barely aware that I had been standing. As I got closer to the screen the words changed again and suddenly an endless list flashed forward. I scanned across the words and was surprised to find that they were all book titles- all of which I had read. 

“So… I choose a story?” 

The screen flashed again.

Yes

I nodded slowly. “Okay…. So I choose a story, and whatever one I choose I get to be apart of?”

The screen flashed again but displayed the same word; yes.

“Alright so I’m dead, and now in this afterlife I get to jump into a story that I read while I was alive? I know I should be more freaked out about this, but I’m just gonna go for it. This is probably just the intro to someone’s fanfic anyway.”

The screen switched again and this time it displayed the book names. Scanning through them again I crossed a series of books all listed together and I felt my heart start to race. Oh, I knew what I was going to choose.

“Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!” I called out triumphantly.

Is that your final choice? The screen showed.

“Hell yeah! It's by far the best in the series.”

The screen flickered again and a new display showed. At the top it read choose who you will be. I looked at the new list below the title, and it seemed that everyone that could exist in the story was listed, from Harry all the way down to Crookshanks. I tapped my chin, scanning again through the names.

“Can I go into the story as myself?” I asked to the all knowing screen.

Yes. But there will be limitations.

“Limitations? Like what?”

As an outsider you will have a greater impact on the outcome of the story

Mmmm, that didn’t seem like a limitation. The words changed again.

If you make too many changes, the ending of the story will change. 

“Ohhhh, so you’re saying if I mess with the story then Harry might not defeat Voldemort?”

Yes

Hmmmm… so the limitation came because if I didn’t hold back then I might ruin the happy ending. Not that the ending of Harry Potter was so happy, but they did defeat the bad guy. If Harry didn’t end up killing Voldemort, or worse was killed himself, then I could basically destroy the whole wizarding world….

“I still would like to be myself though… maybe if I just choose to be in a different year than Harry Potter then there won’t be any problems. Actually yeah I think that’s a good idea- I didn’t want to have to be 13 again anyway.”

When I turned my focus back to the screen I noticed that it had changed to a character stat page- which was so fucking cool. It was like real life dead Hogwarts Legacy or something.

Similarly to a video game there were only so many traits that could be applied, which was a bummer but whatever. As I moved things around I noticed at the bottom a little section that was titled family.

“Family? Like, I have a chance to have a whole new family? Uh I don’t know if I really want that… I mean I’m coming in at 15 and I feel like that would be kinda weird… can I just be like an orphan or something?”

You wish to have no family

“Yeah, I mean I had a great one while I was alive- and I feel like it would be a disservice to try to replace them.”

As soon as I finished talking the screen changed and my mouth dropped open. Suddenly I had a LOT more stat points to give out. Apparently not having a family was going to set me back or something and this…. thing…. needed to compensate for that. Whatever, that was fine.

When I finished my stats I was basically top tier. I was maxed out on spell work, money, health, stamina, and flying. I actually didn’t care that much about flying but I had the extra points so I figured I might as well. Once I finished building the strongest version of myself the screen switched again. On the top of the screen it read character descriptions and basically just listed everything physically about me. 

Name:

Age:

Eye color:

Hair Color:

Skin Color:

Nationality:

Sexuality:

Height:

Weight:

The only thing that wasn’t filled out was the last section that said; house.

“Oh is that like my Hogwarts house? Do I have to choose it now? I was hoping that I would get to be sorted.”

The character description went away.

You wish to be sorted in the story?

“Yes.”

This choice will change your backstory

“Change my backstory? How?”

The screen didn’t move. No answer apparently.

“Well I still want to be sorted if that’s fine. I’m okay if it changed my backstory.”

The screen went back to the character description, the section labeled house now with a question mark. I looked over it all again, feeling satisfied with everything that I saw. I held out a double thumbs up and watched the screen flicker again.

Once entering you cannot make any changes to your story. Are you satisfied with what you have chosen?

“Yup! I mean, I didn’t get to make any choices before starting my last life so this is already way better. Or wait, did I make those choices and just not remember?? Is this the matrix???”

The screen flickered. No.

Once entering the story your life will begin again and will end at death.

So did that mean I could keep on living even after the book ended?? Or did that mean I was just going to die at the end of the story??

Entering the story as yourself means you may make choices that change the story's outcome  

You have three warning before the ending will no longer play out as written

From the corner of my eye I saw something start to glow, and looked down at my arm. A bright blue light, similar to the light the screen gave off now glowed on my outstretched forearm. When It got too bright to look at I closed my eyes and turned away. When the blue faded I turned back to see three perfectly made squares tattooed on my arm. Or, at least they looked like tattoos- maybe that was just like my skin changing or something.

If you do something that may alter the story an X will be placed in a box 

Once all three boxes are filled then your story will no longer follow the pre written path

“Isn’t that technically only two warnings? If I get a third then that means things will be changed.”

The screen went blank.

Are you ready to begin your story?

I sighed, looking down again at my arm. Three, technically two, warning. I could make two big changes in this story and not fuck things up too badly. I truly hoped that it wouldn’t even begin to be a problem. Since I planned to be two grades ahead I shouldn’t have any trouble keeping enough distance from the boy who lived to stir up trouble- right?

“I’m ready!” I called out confidently. 

I watched in amazement as the blue screen started to dissipate, pixels starting to break off and float away. Then I looked down and saw that my body was doing the same thing. Piece by piece I was turning that same shade of blue and floating away. I closed my eyes tight, not sure what to expect next.

After a long moment I opened them again and gasped as my new surroundings hit me. I was looking out at a compartment of what I assumed was the Hogwarts Express. I quickly got to my feet and moved over to the window, watching as the Scottish Highlands moved quickly by. I must have been close to the front of the train because I could see smoke billowing out not far above my window.

With wide eyes I dropped back down to my seat, somehow totally shocked that this was actually happening. Somehow I had managed to handle the blue screen in an endless void better than this shock. I was here- I was really here!

Suddenly there was a tapping and I turned to see my compartment door open.

“Anything off the trolley dear?” A kind old lady asked, pulling a cart.

My face broke into a grin as I got to my feet and stepped over. What a way to start my story.

[jennyanypenny]

Giving Cats characters pkmn types (and moves+stats¿) ! Kittens Edition >:3

ok starting with abbreviations

_Atk = (physical) attack

_Def = (physical) defense

_SpA = special attack

_SpD = special defense

_Hp and speed are self explanatory

_ defensive means both defense stats

_ physical / special stats means both physical or special stats

(After writing for sillabub: The urge to make them all half normal was too real sorry)(It gets worse as it goes)

Sillabub: normal/psychic

She is THE normal/psychic type. I think I had this idea mostly because of the many normal/something typed baby Pokémon. Dont think of her as a literal baby but she is tiny. She gets higher defensive stats and a slightly higher SpA than Atk. Cosmic Power and Baton Pass for moves.

Tumblebrutus: fighting/normal

He tumbles thats enough for the fighting type :33. I can’t make them ALL just normal yknow. He’s the type of kid to get into fights just cuz. High speed stat, low Def and special stats. He gets Acrobatics and Wake-up Slap for moves.

Victoria: normal/fairy

moon moon Moonlight and Playrough are moves id give her. Her solo is soooo fairy type coded. High physical stats. Good hp. Rest suck tho gotta balance stuff. 

Electra: electric/normal

Self explanatory, cant miss the opportunity with the name. I like to think shes a bit magical too :] . Mid stats but high SpD and Atk. She gets Assurance, Nuzzle and Spark for moves.

Etcetera: ground/normal

Reaching with these typings once again. She might play in the dirt I guess. He would have Sand Attack and Screech for moves :3 . High Hp, but low defensive stats. High speed too.

Carbucketty (the one 98 called Pounce): normal/ground

He also plays in the dirt woahhh!?! Scratch and Mudshot. Inverse Etcetera stats :P . They can be trashy gimmick pokemon together <3

Plato (Admetus ig): normal

I cant, I cant give give him normal/rock and then say “he throws rocks” 😭 mmmm fighting maybe? Theres gonna be a lot of fighting types later tho :( . He can just be a normal meow meow. Moves can be Knock Off and Tail Whip. Mid stats all around except for high Def

Pouncival: normal/fairy (questionable)

Completely tripping here. But hear me out. Fairy types are silly and I like them. I havent focused enough on him in boots where he actually exist im sorry. He gets Counter and Bide for moves. High Atk and Hp. 

Next up are song cats :3

[ask-hannah-blog]

Um… *Nervous Giggle*

Hey everyone I’m Nurse Fuentes.

I was walking into work today when two little clowns grabbed me and pulled me into their cop clown car! It was so cramped in there! But really fun! It was like woosh! Wwwwrreeen. Wee-wooo-weee-woo!”

*Blush*

Ahem, anywho. The clown officers drove me to this wacky looking house. It was like half house, half castle! There was a few clowns taking car of the lawns, and just hanging around on the sidewalk. It looked like it was spreading too, like this clowny palace was bulging into it’s neighbors lawns and property.

The clowns rushed me into the house. Ugh it smelled like sugar, sex and pizza. Mmmm hehe I’m hungry!

Er um, so they took me into a room, and there I saw the most BEAUTIFUL clown laying on the bed. She was clearly suffer from some kind of slob transformation.

The Coppers pushed me forward and told me to help her. I knew immediately that I had to. She was beautiful so regal. I eager ran to her side to get a look. She was in bad shape, covered in sauce and sweat. Her belly was full and distended. She was muttering something about being hungry. I’m amazed by hers snowy skin, and big heaving honkers, tipped with eager pink balls for nipples…

“You bozos!” I say. “We gotta get her in the shower stat!”

The coppers waddle on it and help me carry her to the shower. I take of what little clothes she has left, nearly passing out as I take her shoes off. Her feet were very nearly fully slobbified, they lost their sweet clown scent entirely. 🤢

We threw her in the shower, blared her with hot water and I got to work srcubbing her down with soap. It took a long time, with her squirming, the slob was in there pretty deep. I had to scrub her armpits then smell them, then scrub again. Until they got their sweet smell back. Mmmmm hehe like strawberries! Around this time her belly started to deflate.

Hehehe omg she got sooooo gassy! Hehe she just kept farting while I was scrubbing her down. It smelled so funny! I kept laughing, and so did she. The soap was slipping out of my hand and I was falling into the shower with her! So I was a wet mess too!

All wet and giggly I started working on her feet. They are soooooooo big! And so stinking! I was choking for air! Practically shoving my face into her booty so I could smell some of her yummy farts. I mean for real guys it took so much scrubbing to get those things clean. I’m so done with feet! 😤

But once I got her all cleaned up we got her back in bed, which already had new sheets on it. Clown maids?

I talked to the lady a bit.

Hehe she’s super cool and pretty!

Anyway they just wanted me to write this so her fans would know she’s alright!

Um yeah! So I hope this helps!

Your queen is going to make a full recovery!

Um… can I like go back to work now Mrs.Clown Cop?

[phoenixyfriend]

SW Masterlist: Discourse

Navigation Post

Fun fact, tumblr allows 250 links on the old editor and 100 in the new. So. Network of masterlists

This one is organized as:

Mandalore - Traditional Mandalorians - New Mandalorians

Anidala and the Tuskens Massacre

Jedi

Other

Have some maps, btw.

MANDALORE

Traditional Mandos (True and Death Watch)

Timeline/Explanation of the True Mandalorians

True Mando Discourse/True Mandos did shoot first (etc.) - Jango gave the order to do so - The American Militia comparison

Are the True Mandalorians canon again since Jaster was name-dropped in The Mandalorian? (Short answer: no.)

Traditional Mandalore and the American Far Right - Why gun control? - The Doylist racism - More about the racism

The whitewashing that affected the clones and all of New Mandalore was also applied to the True Mandalorians, and to judge New Mandalore for their wholly white presentation without judging the True Mandalorians is a problem (with screenshots)

Traditional Mandalorians through the lens of the devsirme

Jango did a genocide (and the only way to make him unaware is to strip him of the Legends backstory that has him as former Mand’alor)

Quick checklist of diversity of True Mandos (as shown in Open Seasons) vs New Mandos (as shown in TCW)

The canonicity of anti-slavery trad mandos is... questionable

When fic takes “Mandalorians are good with children” to unreasonable degrees.

Mandalorian Empire through the lens of Ancient Rome

Don’t Make Me Tap The Sign meme

New Mandos

Satine’s handling of Mando’a (Death Watch Propaganda)

Maybe Satine had a Point

Padme and Satine - Just Satine

Satine is the equivalent of a 70s anti-Vietnam-War protestor (

This war could have been an email

Satine’s policies (and attitude towards child-rearing) as influenced by her traumas

What did Satine even do in canon that could be considered cultural genocide as claimed by fanon? - This one has more iterations - Mandalore’s Bernie Sanders (edit by @personontheswing) - Why Mandalore fell

“Obi-Wan is better at Mandalorian stuff than Satine” mmmm no

Satine is the sitcom mom of Mandalorian politics - Follow-up

Why “Satine should have been a villain” really gets my goat. (stats) - Other version

Hot Take: Satine Kryze should have been a woman of color - All of New Mandalore should have been more diverse

The Britain comparison

TFW Satine and Obi-Wan’s approach to parting at the end of their year together is reversed solely to make Satine seem less suited to Obi-Wan

The MandalMotors accusation

Canon Satine vs Fanon Satine

Satine and Tarre?

Best alt name for Duke Kryze (because of the cultural appropriation) poll

Retconning the domestic bliss for Anidala vs retconning the New Mandalorians as cultural genocide

Stop flipping and worsening the Obitine dynamic just so you can pretend your preferred shipmate for him is better than Satine because they ‘understand’ him better.

Why did Satine need to “learn” to compromise, exactly?

Reasons and ways we disregard canon

You know she doesn’t have to be an Evil Bitch Ex, right? She can just be dead.

ANIDALA and TUSKENS MASSACRE

The acceptable amount of baby murder is None

Padme’s not actually the most rational person here

And yeah she’s kinda racist

And that racism parallels history

Who was she supposed to tell? (Obi-Wan. She was supposed to tell Obi-Wan) - The absolute coldest take

“The Jedi wouldn’t understand.”

Anakin’s Slippery Slope to Baby Murder (Take One) Alt title for this post is: Anakin grabbed a sled to the slippery slope

Torture had something to do with it

Padme is a train wreck and that’s what makes her fun, fight me

“Padme deserves better” is wrong because as far as Padme is concerned, ‘better’ does not exist. Anakin got full marks, it’s just that Padme’s rubric is different from basically anyone else’s. “Better” is just an Anakin who didn’t help overthrow democracy.

A rant on my hate for “Anakin mindcontrolled Padme into loving him”

A touch on Padme Characterization

Writing Nuance

All said, Anakin/Consequences is actually a red flag - And I hate It

JEDI

What are the Jedi bringing balance to

Not enough Jedi for the whole galaxy - And held up to unrealistic standards - Prioritizing Shmi could have been justified without favoritism (but doesn’t really matter)

Why did Qui-Gon bring Anakin to Naboo?

The Jedi lost their way

Jedi crit cannot exist in a vacuum

How are you defining this word that is central to the argument?

Ruusan Reformation

The question of finance

Jedi don’t do excommunication in any but the absolute most extreme cases (and if someone is going full Sith Lord, like Tyranus or Vader, they’ve usually already left voluntarily)

Hot take: Qui-Gon’s survival would have contributed to keeping Anakin stable and not prone to attachment.

The Amatonormativity of fandom

“Why didn’t the Jedi help Shmi?” Why didn’t Padme. - Addendum

This isn’t discourse I just really love Ahsoka

How old is Quinlan, anyway?

The question of writing Barriss

I need a visual timeline of the Jedi Council

Why I don’t post Jedi Crit, even if I sometimes think it

Where did the "Obi-Wan's parents tried to drown him in a river" headcanon even come from?

Why is Star Wars fandom not telling us that the reason Qui-Gon didn’t go back for Obi-Wan on Melida/Daan was that Xanatos was trying to kill green grandpa?

How real-world traumas wrt immigration inform our interactions with the idea of Jedi being asked ‘but where are you from?’ - Contribution from another

Trying to figure out where I got Those Assumptions about the Traviss TCW novel from

Other

Flavors of Discourse

I think the GAR being only three million clones actually does make sense, even for space.

Boba’s (almost) war crime

What even is a war crime - We don’t care

Filoni only knows how to tell one kind of story

Why do people write Rex not liking Anakin as a person?

Cliegg/Shmi can be viewed as a frontier marriage

The best flavor of “Anakin gets left on Tatooine”

Devaronian girls deserve horns too

Cloneshipping - Yes, that size kink can be racist

In Defense of Clonecest

TCW and portrayal of the Separatists

Ship Tomato

All Age Difference Codywan comes back to me (this isn’t true but it is related to a plagiarism scandal, don’t worry about it)

Stewjon as Space Scotland

Shipping got in the way of my plan

Retraction of an assumption I had about a scene with Kitster and Anakin

Why is it admirable for the twins to treat R2 like a real person and recognize his apparent sentience, but Anakin doing the same is him “not valuing the lives of clones”

That one plagiarism situation

(I wasn’t thinking of it as one because I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt but I shared to a friend who is usually good about giving me reality checks and was informed that “No they fully plagiarized your ass.” So. There’s that.)

My original au post

The first time someone told me about the fic it (allegedly) inspired - I do know one person (just one) went in and left a comment to ask, but never got an answer

I recced one of their other fics, which I had enjoyed a lot, and an anon asked me if I was reccing someone that had used one of my fic concepts without permission.

Finding out they have a tumblr, from someone who had put them on a do-not-read list because they found the situation too sketchy

All Age Diff Codywan Leads Back to Nixy (AKA I sent an ask to test the waters, dug a bit, and was thus informed that I did inspire the fic, though it was a different post, but that ‘modern au codywan is so common that it’s not like credit is needed. I reblogged with a meme in hopes that it would be a polite, lighthearted way to indicate they should still maybe add a credit link in an A/N)

About two months after that, I found that they had deleted their tumblr, added the fic to a hidden collection so it could no longer be accessed, and blocked me on AO3.

So who knows what the situation even is anymore, but that is the process. Mostly it’s just been very frustrating and a little baffling because. It could have all been resolved with a single sentence. Just one “this fic was inspired by these posts on tumblr” in an A/N, and nobody would have cared.

[eva-knits12]

Lazy Sunday with Johnny Storm

Trigger Warning: Just fluff, brief lovemaking scene, baby kicking.

Summary: You and your fiancee, Johnny Storm spend a lazy Sunday together.

"Mmmm, fire stud. Don't stop," you say, as Johnny is making love to you slowly this morning.

Your growing bump is no match for Johnny. In fact, this is a nice, Sunday morning. The weather is perfect, you two are making love as the sun is rising, Eventually, you two will have round two while you two are showering together.

"Mmm, cupcake," moans Johnny as he's moving inside you.

Eventually, you let go, and Johnny follows. It's beautiful and amazing. Johnny was so focused on your pleasure and your needs. He was still inside you, and you pull Johnny down for a beautiful, loving, and passionate kiss.

Eventually, Johnny places his hand on your bump, feeling his son move. He feels a little thump against his hand.

"What was that?" asks Johnny, excitement and curiosity filling his eyes.

"I think Jake just kicked," you respond. You replace your hand where Johnny's was, and can't wait to feel Jake kick again.

Johnny then kisses your bump where Jake just kicked. Johnny tells you to lie there, and grabs the camera, and little Dry Erase Board. Johnny quickly writes the stats of the day, and includes "I just kicked for the first time!" Johnny hands me the Dry Erase board, you hold it in front of your bump. You're lying in bed, naked, Every day, Johnny takes a photo of you naked, and writes the stats of your pregnancy on the little Dry Erase board, including the weeks and the days.

"I'm 24 weeks and five days along now. I just kicked for the first time! Mommy's craving cheeseburgers with bacon, fries, fudge, ice cream, chocolate donuts, supreme pizza, and omelets with cheese, sausage, ham, and veggies."

You just feel beautiful. You're pregnant with your fiancee's baby, your lying on the bed, naked, and after the photo, Johnny is kissing every inch of your bump, every stretch mark, and is even talking to your bump. This is just so cozy, so fluffy, and so intimate. Johnny and you were reading What to Expect when You're Expecting.

''Hey, champ. I love you and your mom so much," says Johnny.

Johnny read that talking to your unborn son was a great way to help him and Jake bond. You talk to your unborn son, too. You tell Jake how beautiful it is in the morning, you go out everyday to your garden, and tell him about the flowers, the grass, the birds, and the sky. You're rubbing your bump, standing in the window, naked, talking to your bump. Johnny also read that babies pick up on their daddies voices first, since daddy's voice is low pitched.

"Mom and dad love to express their love for each other every day when the sun starts to rise," you talk to your bump.

"That was how you created, Jake," you say. rubbing your bump.

"This is a cardinal. When a cardinal comes, it means that someone from heaven has come to visit. This is your Nana, and the other cardinal is your Papa. They passed WAY before you were even conceived," you tell your bump. You're also rubbing your bump, and gently stroking it, when Jake kicks again.

"Champ, Mommy loves this garden. She loves the birds. I love your mom so much, I'm glad I chose her to be my wife and I'm glad I chose her to be your mom", say Johnny.

Johnny gives you a loving kiss.

Your stroking Johnny's hair lovingly, and you're tearing up. It was mostly from the hormones, yet Johnny meant every single word of this. Johnny is still kissing your bump.

Johnny gathers everything, including your maternity leggings and one of his huge t-shirts, and he gather's his gym shorts, one of his baggy t-shirts, your maternity underwear and his boxer briefs and puts them in the bathroom. You and Johnny go into the bathroom, walking into the shower. You're holding hands, and then go into the stall.

Showering with Johnny is so intimate and cozy. It's beautiful, and when Johnny puts your 2-in-1 shampoo in your hair, he's holding your bump, and kissing your shoulder. Eventually, you pull him down for a loving and passionate kiss, and you two make love in the shower.

After your shower, Johnny and you dress. Johnny lies on the bed, and reads some of the book. You set up your yoga mat near the window, and turn on your laptop. You start to do your prenatal yoga routine. After you're done, Johnny takes a picture of you sitting on the mat, bump on display, and your hair pulled back.

"You look so beautiful right now," says Johnny.

You're lips crash onto Johnny's. You know he's right. You've never felt more beautiful because you're carrying you're and Jonny's first child.

You return back to bed, and Johnny gets up, and makes you an omelet with the sausage, ham, veggies and cheese. You have a bagel with butter on the side. Johnny just has eggs and a bagel with butter on the side.

Johnny delivers the breakfast on the tray. You have orange juice and some decaf coffee. Johnny just has regular coffee.

"Thanks, fire stud. Mmm, this is perfect," you say, complimenting Johnny's cooking.

"Anything for the mother of our baby," says Johnny.

"I love you so much, Johnny," you say.

You and Johnny eat, and eventually Johnny takes the tray back to the kitchen. You fall asleep again, and Johnny sees the site. He crawls next to you, covers you with the covers, kisses your forehead, and he sits and reads again. Right now, it's about being lazy, and getting plenty of rest before the baby comes.

Today was Sunday, so being lazy was a great way to spend the day today.

You and Johnny just snuggle in bed for a bit before you fall asleep. Johnny wraps his arms around, brings you to his chest, kisses your forehead, and just watches you sleep.

Lunch was just grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies. In between, Johnny was getting you what you were craving the most.

You read for a bit, then fall asleep again. Johnny watches you sleep for the entire day, and he even naps next to you. You and Johnny need more days like this before Jacob Allen is born.

Dinner is pizza that Johnny ordered. He got your go-to toppings, and Johnny even got that stromboli that he LOVES. You ate the pizza, and then you go brush your teeth and wash your face. Johnny brushes his teeth.

You're lying in bed, falling asleep again.

"Good night, Jacob," says Johnny, kissing your bump after he's done talking to your bump.

"Good night, Jacob," you say, rubbing your bump.

You and Johnny fall asleep, you snuggle deep in Johnny's chest. You won't wake for a while, not until Jake sits on your bladder. You're grateful for every day. You're so grateful for Johnny, and you're grateful that Johnny's sperm met your egg, creating Jake.

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Ooh about the shadow mewtwo I was actually having similar thoughts myself! Unfortunately I think at this point in the time line her corrupt mega stone has had its moment turned her into a shadowtwo who then went on to make their own body to possess and control (explaining the flashback of her deteriorating grey state as they didn't know/didn't care enough to preserve her body during the new body making) because lmao her stats are so bad oh my god XD it wanted a better host. So unfortunately the synergy stuff has been like removed from her body but ngl I could see him just stabbing her with a new one see what happens see if he gets a similar result to Darkness (the temporary maybe now canon name for the shadowtwo entity idk) or if it'd just be a normal possession since Darkness lmao developed higher wants

Hey, May, knock knock.

"ugh... Who's there..?"

Stabby.

"mmmm... Stabby who..."

Imma try to make that shadow bitch my friend lmfao.

"go fuck yourself, may you never get bitches"

WATCH YOUR WORDS, I AM NOT TAKING THAT SUBJECT MATTER LIGHTLY.

[threeomen]

and birth is the death of us.

SKELETON / APPLICATION* / DOSSIER (coming soon)

* (the app is 100% to be read on desktop for a better immersion and experience! i am so sorry for that, i will come up with a mobile-friendly version soon)

three-eyed omen : haiyan (300), they / them.

BACKGROUND

morally corrupt cult leader (aren't they all) and also an actual (self-proclaimed) prophet. has made serious bank with this, their patrons range from noblemen to marines, anyone with enough gold to have access to them.

they are a miracle princess, they are a noble, they are a nobody - every single time you ask them about who are they, they will weave another story for you.

because of that, nothing much is known about haiyan's past, and granted they don't reveal much either. or rather they do talk a past that seemingly never existed, which only feeds into the insane allegations surrounding them.

their energy tho? rancid and very toxic, can be felt from miles away.

because of the cult they have been everywhere and anywhere, the chances are in the span of fifteen years that they have grown into the stronghold they are now, you have probably crossed paths or heard of them. maybe not.

(lowkey very magic.... all my magic stat girlies i bet u can feel it...)

a rigger but wouldn't move a single muscle to lift a fork if they deemed to heavy, yall pick your fights

they do have lots of money indeed, they also have committed atrocious crimes that they are wanted for - finds it all incredibly funny.

i don't really know what to tell you other that good luck and i am sorry.

PERSONALITY

if muzan and makima could have a baby, haiyan would be that. the perfect mixture of uncanny and very disturbing, also calm, collected and put-together for people to see.

when hozier said 'she's the giggle at a funeral' he was describing haiyan exactly. another media image that i have to describe them very well is when lucifer from constantine (2005) came up from hell and he had all that sass and all that underlying terrifying energy within him - that is them.

watch constantine if you haven't (ever this one was for you)

mmmm but they are very much pampered and spoiled and do throw insane fits like the spoiled princess their are (have i mentioned how spoiled they are) pyrrhus i am so sorry for all that you have to endure

loves to play little games, loves to put people against each other, loves the entertainment

weirdly loyal to the few she had selected to be loyal to

WANTED CONNECTIONS

i do have a google docs in the making for all the current and wanted connections, but i will throw some random ideas here and we could always develop from here (i am sorry i am always doing things last minute) but to be honest just throw me a random idea and i will 100% spin it and come up with something okay!!! also just!! those plots are completely open for adjustments and are regardless of gender <3

i have read your book, your prophecies, your wanted person poster / something along the lines of knowing them from somewhere or heard of them, maybe they also know of you but they could also be lying about that

you are so full of shit it makes me wanna k___ (answers might vary) / basically all of the bullshit they weave rubs you the wrong way but also you can't help to be drawn by them, very volatile very dangerous

now YOU are under my skin and i don't know what to do about this / working on the other way around, you managed to get under haiyan's skin (an incredible feat) and they struggle with those feelings (casualties might happen in such violent process)

feelings? / once again, this is a violent process for them - feelings and intimacy are a dangerous territory that they have poor control over and well this can be explored.

i see you and you see me, what to do with such thing? / this is your unexpected softness that will make things very complicated

you are ruination, and i know of what you done / maybe haiyan's prophecies have caused harm to someone you once knew and loved? or even yourself? (you can be someone you once knew and loved)

[rereadanon]

🌟 Mini Interview 🌟

Thanks for the tags @creepkinginc, @shinygalaxyperson, and @crossmydna! I need a little pick me up this Monday morning before I dive into my math homework!

What are some movie / tv quotes that you quote often? The Office, 30 Rock (I want to go to there, working on my night cheese, etc), Jay and Silent Bob, New Girl, mostly.

What is your favorite flower? Orchids and ranunculus.

If you were in Avatar: the Last Airbender, what element would you want to bend? Earth, fire, water, or air? Definitely fire, let's burn this all down and start again (looking directly at you white christian patriarchy).

What was your first job? A bagel shop! I was 14 and couldn't handle the pressure!

What is your favorite breakfast? oh geez, I LOVE breakfast food. Mmmm, I will go with blueberry pancakes and some crispy bacon and a hot cup of coffee! On a chilly Maine morning in late August, perfecto!

What's a meal from childhood that you love? The most sentimental dishes are a specific meatloaf recipe from my dad's family, and kimmelweck (a vinegar braised beef sandwich) from my mom's.

What's your favorite joke to tell? My party trick is mostly gross medical stories.

What's your favorite animal to see at the zoo? I gotta say I have an issue with zoos 😬 BUT seeing giraffes and elephants never fails to impress me!

What's your go to quick meal to cook / make at home? good old fashioned PB&J! Pickle chips on the side please.

What's your go to meal to cook someone to impress them? Probably braised short ribs over mashed potatoes or cauliflower.

What's something you want to do better? Help my kid with his emotions! Be more disciplined with school work! Be more organized!

If you're working do you like your job? I work with the most amazing team! The healthcare system is very frustrating, but I find a lot of satisfaction in caring for others.

Do you collect anything? What? Memes. Especially anti-anti-vaxx memes!

If you were trapped in a kids tv show, what show would you be okay with being trapped in? Honestly, Paw Patrol. Those pups are so cute and so quick to a rescue!

An adults tv show? I want to be a regular at Nick Miller's bar. Or at the alibi. I love a good bar!

What kind of job did you want as a child? Well I grew up in the 90's so a marine biologist.

Do you follow any sports? What team do you root for? My husband is a big motocross fan, I don't really follow the stats or whatever, but going to races is AMAZING people watching.

If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? Probably some sort of bird.

If you could be any mythological creature what would you be and why? I am going with Pegasus because that just sounds cool as fuck.

What's the most obscure thing you've had to google for a fanfic you were writing/reading? I mostly have asked my husband penis-related questions. I am just curious how accurate we all are!

What Milkovich do you identify with most? Mickey! Had to break some familial chains, defy expectations a lil bit. Fell crazy in love with a dude.

Which one are you actually like the most? Probably Iggy, I can be a dumbass.

What Gallagher do you identify with most? I want to say Fiona, I do a lot of taking care of people, sometimes at the expense of myself? Growing up I did some reckless and impulsive stuff.

Which one are you actually like the most? Probably Ian, got a touch of the mentals, fell madly in love with a boy that had a hard time reciprocating, and definitely can be the aforementioned clueless dumbass.

I won't tag anyone, but I absolutely love to see everyone's answers, so please do if you want me to ignore my homework so I can comment on everyone else's!

[sdj-official-fictive]

Mmmm <- Does NOT like my girlfriend's new partner they rarely ever acknowledge me when I am talking and are way too demanding of my girlfriend and it makes me want to attack

OH that sounds just horrific. Hmph! Not good at all... Maybe you SHOULD be allowed to attack — Stat

[membermentmania]

August 12th, 4:40- 5:55am

Kenny clicked his tongue. “Ragman,” he responded cockily. 

Kyle smacked his arm. “Reckless!” 

“Yeah, but, I won. Sooo.” 

Kyle playfully rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Next floor?”

“Nope!”

“Huh?” Kenny pointed at the door across the room. Kyle didn’t even bother to look when he walked in. “Shit, you got your first angel room.” 

“I wanted to wait for you to check it out.” 

Kyle smiled and stood up, offering Kenny a hand. Kenny took it and pulled himself up. They walked in and Kyle’s eyes lit up. “Fucking godhead, seriously?!” 

“What the fuck is godhead?” Kenny responded with a laugh. 

“Okay. Plus .5 damage, plus 1.2 range, and you get homing shots. And your shots get this weird little aura around them so if you miss enemies in range still take damage. Your shot speed goes down a bit, but honestly it’s so worth it.” 

Kenny scampered over and put a hand out before lazily shooting a single shot in Kyle’s direction. Kyle rolled his eyes but Kenny smiled slightly when he saw what Kyle was talking about. “Okay, please let me go try this out.” 

“Of course.” 

Stats: 

Damage: 5.3

Shot Speed: 0.7

Range: 28.2

✝: 50%

𐕣: 0%

Items: 

4 hearts, 1 soul heart, 6 keys, 5 bombs, 5 coins

 Magic Mushroom, Blood of the Martyr, The Relic, 20/20, Jesus Juice, How to Jump, Godhead

After slamming his way through another set of double doors, he heard a yelp. “POPS!”

Satan cleared his throat. “Yes, my son?” 

“Where’s➰? I need to see him!” Of course his name fucking cuts out. 

“What do you mean where is he? He’s on Earth, obviously.” 

Kenny felt all of the alarm bells start going off in his head. The walls felt like they were ready to crush him. “I-um-what?” His throat felt tight. His breathing was growing ragged. 

He felt a huge palm flat on his back. “Hey. Breathe. Talk to me kiddo.” 

“I. He’s. He’s fucking dead. He should be here.” 

Satan stayed silent for a moment. “What?” 

“He died like six days ago. He has to be here.” 

Another agonizingly long pause. “Kenny, he never came down here.”

Kenny took a deep breath after opening his eyes. “You okay?” 

“Frustrated,” he muttered as he sat up. 

“It’s okay,” Kyle tried gently. “You’re getting there.” 

“Am I though?” Kenny responded, sounding playful but feeling mildly devastated. 

“You are.” 

He offered Kyle a weak smile. “Okay.” 

Kyle stood up, offering Kenny a hand. Kenny pulled himself up. “Where to, princess?” 

“If you keep callin’ me that, I might blush,” Kenny teased. 

“God forbid we have that,” Kyle responded playfully. 

Kenny blinked a few times. Is he actually flirting with me? “Mmmm. Left.” 

Kyle shot him a small nod and they started through the floor. Kenny had never been so happy to get an item. He was back in a position where he could sort of just turn his brain off as he made lazy shots in the directions of enemies. He cleared through a room of trites, earning a key. Next was a way too big room that only contained spiders. Which he got no reward for. He didn’t really care if he was left with nothing after clearing a room, but when the room seemed to exist only to be a nuisance, then it bothered him. 

He slowly and carefully made his way through a horf room. He didn’t want to take damage this early on if he could help it. Kyle stayed by the door. He’d been quiet since they started traversing this floor. He was clearly deep in thought about something. But it didn’t seem to be tormenting him. Moreso, he just seemed perplexed. 

Kenny thought he got the last horf, but there was no telltale clang of the doors flying open. Nor did he hear an item drop. He rolled his eyes as he slowly started to circle the room, looking for the horf he somehow missed. Kyle was not helping him at the moment. He was crouched down, head rested on his hand, staring at the wall across from him. Kenny didn’t want to interrupt whatever he was thinking about. It seemed important. 

After what was at most, a couple of minutes, but felt like several hours, he found the ugly little thing hiding behind a rock in the back corner. The low yet high pitched growl-grunt gave it away as it sent a shot in his direction. He quickly followed up, sending out three of his own. The doors flew open and he heard a key drop. 

Kyle snapped his head up and Kenny shot him a smile before walking over to grab his key. Kyle continued his vow of silence as they continued on. Kenny didn’t disrupt him. It didn’t bother him. The quiet was comfortable, as much as he wanted to talk to him. But he was slowly getting more and more curious as to what could have Kyle so in his own head. Maybe it’s about his meeting with the dev? 

Kenny shot his way through a room of jumpers as he scurried around, trying not to get jumped on. He was starting to adapt to the things he initially found more difficult. After receiving a coin, he looked over at Kyle. He looked like he was trying to solve the world’s hardest math problem. “My item room,” Kenny noted quietly, feeling a mild pang of guilt when Kyle looked up at him like he’d been caught doing something. 

He breathed out a laugh. “Sorry.” 

Kyle caught up to him as he tapped his wristband to the door. A familiar, way too anatomically correct heart sat on the pedestal. Kenny walked over and put a hand out. “Soo. How’d your meeting with the dev go?” he tried. 

“It was good.” 

“Did he figure out what was wrong?” 

“He’s never seen it before. He’s looking into it though. Just tell me if it happens again, okay?” 

Kenny offered him a small smile. “Yeah, of course. I probably won’t be able to shut up about it if it happens again.” 

Kyle laughed quietly. “I know.” 

“What’re you tryna say, huh?” Kenny teased. 

“Nothing,” he responded with mock defensiveness. 

Kenny playfully rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say,” he drawled. “C’mon. We should be almost done with this floor.” 

Kyle continued to wordlessly follow him. The dev meeting seemed to be out of the question as Kyle didn’t seem to be lying about that. Kenny didn’t know what to think of it. It wasn’t bothering him in the sense that he wasn’t thinking of it in a bad way. It was just aggressively intriguing him. Not grating, but now he was very heavily aware of Kyle’s lack of speaking. They made it to the last room and Kenny picked up the bomb he’d been gifted. He looked up at the ceiling as if he were begging the dev himself for an answer. 

“Hope you get a good one,” Kyle noted. 

Kenny whipped his head over to see Kyle shoot him a small smile. Are you listening to my thoughts?! “I mean, I already fought ragman,” he responded casually. And of course he got no answer in his mind because that was stupid. But it wasn’t totally out of the question. 

Kyle playfully rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” 

[insert boss fight] 

[Kyle tells Kenny about his item] 

“So, Ky,” he tried awkwardly. 

“What’s up?” 

“You seem to be kinda… In your head about something.” 

Kyle laughed quietly. “Sorry.” 

“No, you’re fine. I’m just-” he paused. “Yeah, I’m painfully fucking nosy.”  

“I know,” he teased. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but…” 

“Do you want to take a break?” 

“Fuck it, sure,” Kenny responded, taking a seat on the [INSERT FLOOR TYPE]. 

Kyle looked at him thoughtfully. “Do you believe in soulmates?” 

Kenny blinked hard. That was not the direction he thought this was going. “Um. I’m not too sure. Why?” Truthfully, he didn’t know what to think. If soulmates were a thing, that meant he had a problem. He didn’t need anymore problems. He had someone. And he had this boy in front of him who was starting to feel like the most important thing in the universe. That was a problem. Unless they’re the same. Nope. Not thinking about it. 

He let out a quiet hum. “Something the dev said. It’s just been sitting with me, I guess.” 

“What’d he say?” 

“He just says shit sometimes,” he responded with a shrug. 

“Do you?” 

“Maybe. Not really sure yet.” 

A shocked laugh came from Kenny. “Yet?” 

“I mean, I’m dead, but my consciousness is still here. I still meet new people. Souls, rather. I’ll meet old ones. I’m not totally sold, but I still have time to be sold, y’know?” 

Kenny leaned forward, propping his head up on his hand. “That’s really something.” 

Kyle offered him another shrug. “I never really thought about it after I got here. Idunno. Just been thinking about that, I guess.” 

“What about before?” 

Kyle laughed. “What? When I was alive?” 

“Yes!” 

“Huh. Guess I never really thought about it then, either. What was right was right. What was wrong was wrong. Then a lot of that flipped. Then I got here.” 

“Ouch.” 

Kyle waved a hand dismissively. “Nah. Sometimes your perspective getting turned on its head isn’t a bad thing. It’s just a thing.”