#just men lovin dudes

[arsonisticpotato]

Some more Tim and Kon for the soul~

Happy pride month!!

[astrologicalsstuff]

Slutty astrology observations.

You can tell a Taurus rising sometimes I feel like they sometimes attract more attention than Leo.

Scorpio risings everyone thinks you hate them with the amount you stare. I’ve heard “I felt like they were reading into my soul”

Jupiter on the ascendant people are beautiful they have this glow to them.

Everyone thinks cancer moons are sweethearts but they’re some of the fakest people I’ve ever met. So sensitive too but they really do come off as the baddest bitches.

Let me say something rq cause someone’s gunna get offended what’s coming next is pure observation and aspects and house placements really do change things a lot.

Sagittarius mars is ruled by Jupiter…. The planet of abundance… Sagittarius mars has a big 🍆🍆🍆. Like seriously crazy unless Jupiter is afflicted.

Contrary Pisces mars… the men tend to feel pretty insecure about it tbh… also 12th house mars. But they are also the sweetest and most romantic in bed. Put in extra work to make these people feel comfortable. Total romantics. But uhm this is so outta pocket but I’ve noticed these kinda… short and curved…discoloration too…

Pisces mars woman though get wet wet.

Scorpio mars are growers and if Pluto is in Sagittarius than Oml you’ve won. They can really put it down.

Cancer mars is the freakiest sign in woman these people want to be protected but also like dominant people. Attracted to power. And dominance. All about the post care too.

Cancer Venus lowkey has a lot of cheaters and I don’t know why. I don’t even think they are aware of it

Virgo mars♥️♥️♥️ can put it down in the bed ong. They like to analyze so they work really hard to understand your body. They love to know your body and turns them on when your turned on. I’ve seen this placement get turned on purely by giving.

This one’s just a diss please comment good things you’ve encountered with libra mars’s we’ve really never gotten along

Libra mars🤢🤢 you guys are so indirect and it ain’t cute like you’d rather get someone else to say what you mean than say it. This one guy used this to try to get me to date him by telling my friend to give him a reason why he wasn’t datable and we all just sat there awkwardly. They’re probably down to do whatever you ask as long as you return the favor.

Tw:violence ab*se.

Pluto conjunct mars can really like BDSM the love for pain and overall high tolerance. I know a couple people with this placement and I’m not talking about just chocking. Closer conjunctions are crazy like punching bruises cutting burning. Real intense shit.

Mars in Aquarius are not that sexually charged. And if they are I think these natives can be porn addicts? Idk I know so many people with this placement and all I can say is that they can be pretty private about it. But also j don’t get with people a lot. By choice.

Mars in capricorn… I know this is exhalted but be sometimes you have to be carful with this placement. It’s all about working for what they want. They have crazy stamina and can last a really long time tho.

Venus in Virgo are also freaks. Love giving too.

Venus in libra in mutual reception with mars in scorpio would do anything for their partners.

Gemini mars and talking bro… like they can be fucking you and have a full as conversation about some other random thing://… like dude I can’t focus when we’re talking about your day.

Aries mars can go fast but their recovery is crazy mars in the first house too. They just get so into it. These people are yummmy!

Gemini Venus lovin da threesums or just fantasizing. Maybe u got a side piece.

5th house ruler in the third u definitely got a side piece or your poly? Same with Venus in the third and maybe just Venus in the 5th. Open minded in relationships

Mars conjunct Jupiter can last long same with Saturn

Neptune in the 8th dreaming about that one person they definitely should not be getting with🤞🤞

Mars in the 8th are packing, not to sexualize them or anything I know it musta been hard. But your gunna take your anger out in the bedroom.

Please don’t steal my work and let me know what you want next!!

[angel-of-the-moons]

Ill Met by Moonlight

Khonshu x Fem!Stripper Moon Knight!Reader

Summary: You are Khonshu's Moon Knight. Although your "normal" job isn't what many expect from a superhero...

Nor does your god realize just what his presence means to your peers.

TW/CW: Reader is a stripper, Exotic dancing, strippers, lap dances etc. All the NSFW stuff that comes with that job, don't ask Khonshu where he gets the money because I don't know. Predator featured, but don't worry he dies :D

MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME

A/N: This came to mind because I've been constantly thinking about the little AU that @drinkingwithkhonshu and I came up with in my little "Moonlight" post. I figured a nice way to wind down from the chaos of hurricane Helene, indulging my brainworm would be fun.

"And that concludes our little Moonlight's song and dance. Pretty as a painting, am I right, fellas?" The DJ said over the stereo system as you walked back behind the curtains.

Your set on stage concluded with a rather decent haul. Although you did have half a mind to kick one patron in the face when he threw literal nickels at you...

You sighed, pulling your mask down long enough to wipe the sweat off your face and adjust your hair beneath your hood.

Then, you reached down and adjusted the pasties covering your nipples--shaped like crescent moons--and re-examined yourself in the mirror.

Surely, not what many would expect the Avatar of an ancient god to wear in place of ceremonial armor, but.... Well. Sometimes video game logic worked in your favor.

Many of the cruel and evil men Khonshu dispatched you after often came to these clubs. You were an "amateur" dancer--meaning you would hop from club to club, working there long enough as a temporary hire to make pay but long enough to build a rapport with your targets before eliminating them for your god.

Your nose scrunched as you adjusted the ties to your g-string, fidgeting slightly to get comfortable in the scrap of clothing once again. You then slipped your fingers beneath the edges of your thigh-high platform shoes and let them loose with a soft snap! to your skin; the latex material hugging your thighs once more.

As you ensured your mask was securely in place, one of your fellow dancers, who went by the stage name "Khandi" (pronounced "Candy") walked up to you, her heels clicking on the glittery floor of he dressing room.

She wore a thin, sequined mini-dress that cut just beneath her bust line and was cut so short you could easily make out the panties she wore beneath.

"Hey, girl." She smiled at you.

You smiled back. You always treated the dancers with respect--male and female--because their line of work was dangerous as well as entertaining to many.

Which is another reason they were your preferred hunting grounds for you to dispense Khonshu's "justice".

"Khandi. What's up?" You asked curiously, leaning into the mirror to apply just a bit more silvery eyeshadow.

"Oh, y'know..." She snickered, leaning her hip against the dressing table, "Just that your usual guy is here. Again. And wants to see you. For another private dance."

Your hand stills and you look at her, "Again?"

Khandi grins and crosses her arms, "Mhmm. God, I wish he'd ask me to dance for him once in a while. Dude has it bad for you."

You rolled your eyes and laughed softly, "Mmm, if you say so."

"If she says so?" Another coworker, Mina grins, the shorter woman bouncing up to you.

"You're the only girl he ever asks a dance from. I swear, is he your boyfriend or something? Didn't picture you as the DILF-lovin' type..."

You sigh, trying not to laugh, "I--hah..."

Shaking your head, you roll your eyes again, "It's.... complicated? I'm not entirely sure how to categorize our.... situation."

You had some affection for him, sure, but--

Mina shoves your shoulder with a snort-laugh, "I knew it!"

Khandi grinned at you once again as you peeked out of the curtain to see a certain tall, bronzed, serious-faced man looking right at you, as if he knew you were going to look out at him.

He gives you a ghost of a smile, and nods his head ever so slightly, the slight wrinkles at the corners of his eyes creasing a bit more, the silver in his dark hair and beard almost shimmering beneath the pulsing lights.

He then turns and dips into the private room, waiting for you.

Khandi grins and nips her bottom lip, "Ugh, okay, I don't normally like the older guys who come in here because they're creepy--but god is he hot! He's really rocking the silver fox look."

You roll your eyes and look at her as Mina snorts again, "Well, he's not my type, but he is kinda nice! One of the customers got too grabby with me after I told him I didn't want to dance because i was on a break, and your mysterious stranger over there practically twisted his arm off and walked him out the door!"

You smile beneath your shroud, "Yeah... Sounds like him. He hates it when people take advantage of others. Has a bit of a moral code, that one..."

"Oh, so you do know him more than just the occasional lap dance!" Khandi grinned, waggling her eyebrows.

You shove her playfully and walk past her, "And it's none 'o your business, nosey!"

You could hear the gaggle of giggling fall quiet behind you as the next song pulsed through the air, the base vibrating the floor beneath your feet.

Your hand closed around the knob to the room, and you swiftly closed it. The lights were a very very low shade of purple-red, pulsing in slow waves along the LED strips that lined the couches along the walls.

And perched oh-so casually on one of those chairs, was not the same man who walked into the room a minute prior.

He was no longer the tanned handsome older man who walked in; though he wore the same crisp, white suit.

Khonshu nodded his head to the side, his large bony beak sweeping a bit as he spoke, "Your most recent performance was interesting. Though I have a suspicion that many of those men's wives will not like the glitter you threw over the crowd."

He patted one of his gloved hands to his thigh expectantly at you, and you silently obeyed the request, walking with a slight swagger to your hips before you straddled his lap; your hands coming to rest casually on his chest as you smiled.

"Well, I didn't just name it the Starlight Shower for shits and giggles, old man." You tilted your head, "And besides, if their wives find out they're getting lap dances in some dingy club instead of staying home and loyal that's on them. My work is done. They deserve whatever fate they made themselves."

Khonshu laughed, "Or the occasional embezzler using his partner's money to hire companionship for the evening."

His hands found their way to your hips as you settled yourself more firmly in his lap, the soft fabric of his suit pants wonderfully smooth beneath the cheeks of your ass.

His hands slid over your curves, almost possessively as his beak brushed the side of your face gently, "Speaking of which...."

"Already taken care of." You hummed, rubbing your cheek along the smooth bone of his skull; "I left the fool with his pants around his ankles and his laptop open in the hotel room."

Khonshu hummed his approval--the man he'd sent you after was a predator--for both women and underage girls. You'd been impersonating a child in an online chat room for weeks, using filters to appear much younger than your actual age, slowly manipulating him into agreeing to meet you in a hotel somewhere.

From there, you met him in the hotel, smugly noticing how disappointed he was that you weren't some young girl; his disappointment morphing quickly into rage as he realized you intended to trap him.

He had told you too much, sent too much--confessed too much. He needed to cover his tracks. That's how he thought his night would go...

With him dumping your body in a drainage ditch, hoping to read in the news about some poor "hooker" being murdered by a John.

He didn't expect for you to fight back--let alone summon your crescent darts and fling them into his chest, taking the last to plunge it into his heart.

You staged the crime scene; used a USB to get past his laptop's security, and opened every single incriminating file--and you felt like your soul needed a cleansing at those images afterwards--and left out of the back entrance, letting your darts dissolve into thin air to further stage the crime scene.

It would look as if he was meeting one of the young girls he was grooming--perhaps a parent, guardian or older sibling got there first.... Perhaps they killed him in a rage at how he was abusing their relative.

They wouldn't know it was you he was meeting. Not with how you paid off the security officer to conveniently stage the cameras to be "down", and the clerk at the front counter to forget you were there, and to "forget" to have you sign in....

It went off without a hitch. You uncovered an illegal human trafficking program, and saved many lives. Both women and girls.

A wonderful dispensation of justice, and Khonshu was proud of you for how wonderfully you orchestrated it all.

You leaned back as you feel his large hands smooth over your cheeks, tugging your hips closer to his, "A wonderful job, my little Moonlight. There is another man here I want you to go after. He is the leader of a gang of criminals and they are intending to bomb a business that will not pay them for "protection". He holds many innocents under his thumb."

"I'm guessing he's the douche who likes to play grab-ass with the other girls when they walk by? The guy with the tattoo on his fingers?" You sighed.

"Yes." Khonshu said simply, not surprised that you already sniffed him out.

"All right. I'll try to get him away from his friends and "take care" of him. It'll be a little bit difficult, though. His cronies like to hover."

"You will figure something out." Khonshu hummed, his thumbs plucking the straps to your g-string almost playfully.

When you went to try and stand up, his hands gripped your hips once again and pulled you down; his voice dropping to a low timbre that was on par with the base that thumped through the walls.

"Where are you going, pet? I believe I hired you for a private dance, did I not?"

Unlike your usual methods of operation, you stayed at your current club. You'd grown a little attached to the girls.

Often coming to their defense and fending off clients who got too handsy or rough with them.

Once, a man had grabbed the youngest dancer, Millie by the wrists and yanked her into his lap; grabbing her so tight her delicate wrists bruised.

Khonshu had stepped in first--scooping his arm around Millie's waist and whisking her out of the man's lap--before you grabbed him by his greasy shirt and shoved him towards the door.

"She said no, you fucking pig." You snarled from behind your mask.

"You bitches 're paid to be sluts." He slurred, sneering at you. "Th' fuck she turnin' me down for? I got money!"

"We aren't hookers, you piss stain." You replied, eyes narrowing dangerously as your fists tightened.

"Now leave. Touch any of these girls again, and I will gouge your eyes out with my heels myself. Go home with the friend attached to your wrist--it's obvious the two of you are well-acquainted with each other already. You won't get lucky with a woman around here, anyway."

"You fuckin' bitch!" He barked, face red with rage as he lunged at you.

Despite wearing your clunky, impossibly high platform heels, you were able to deftly drop to the ground, sweeping out your leg and tripping him, making him smash his face on the floor and breaking his nose in the process.

You stamped your foot on his chest as he rolled over to glare up at you, attempting to staunch the flow of blood form his nostrils.

"You should go back to school." You sneer as everyone in the room laughs. "Or maybe take a kick-boxing class. I'm a stripper and I just kicked your ass in heels."

You grabbed him by his disgusting shirt and shoved him towards the bouncer, "Get this piece of shit off my floor."

After that, Khonshu got an even bigger reputation with the dancers in the club. He would sit in a booth, watching from the shadows. All of your coworkers knew Khonshu did not mind if they sat near him--he was a safe space. He would help protect them when they were on break; he would even ensure they hydrated and fed themselves after an exhausting performance.

It had gotten to the point where your manager usually waived any purchases he made--not that he needed or wanted to drink, but he had to keep up appearances--and the dancers began to bring him things.

Takeout, bottles of water... things like that would often accumulate around him where he sat.

Half of your coworkers didn't even find him attractive, but they all agreed he was hot simply for the fact that he was willing to keep them all safe--both the guys and girls--when others would simply say they "had it coming" for being strippers.

Those that did find him attractive were shameless flirts. They knew he apparently only had "eyes" for you, but that didn't mean they didn't want him to know just how attractive his chivalry and good looks were.

Khandi was probably the most shameless, she would plainly lay across his lap and chat his ear off as Khonshu's eyes tracked your every move in the club. She knew what he was doing, but lavished being in the attention of such an attractive customer.

One night, Khonshu had inquired as to what a "DILF" even was, and why Khandi and a few others had apparently likened him to one. You couldn't stop laughing long enough to tell him. You never did, and it annoyed the fuck out of him.

With every little thing left to Khonshu, every whisper of his name on the lips of your coworkers, you noticed his powers gaining in strength.

It took you only a few days to connect the dots--the things they were leaving, the "hopes" your coworkers would utter that he would be there if you couldn't defend them from some jerk in the night, the attention they were giving him...

You had doubled over on the couch next to him, kicking your feet with tears in your eyes as you finally realized what that meant.

He had followers again. Even if they weren't in the practical or traditional sense--

Khonshu had essentially became the god of the strippers.

And the mere idea of the situation had you nearly crying and gasping for air as you laughed and laughed, and laughed...

Until Khonshu had pulled you across his lap and growled rather impatiently,

"Impudent little... I guess you need to be punished now, hm?"

Khandi certainly noticed how you didn't want to sit down for a little while after you came out of that room--and how smudged your meticulously applied mascara was...

[hanasnx]

I carnally crave a description of Logan/Reader’s (in the I Was Made For Lovin You universe) wedding. who was there? did they kiss? (i know the answer, but what happened instead?) was it entirely just a legal thing or did he put on a suit for her? did they make a day of it? also, what point in Logan’s life is this written during? before he was an x-man? is the reader essentially in Kayla’s place??

dude i have so many questions; i would love to pick your brain, if you’re up for it.

i loved this ask so so much!! ive been thinking about it since i read it when i woke up

the way i imagine it is yes, essentially reader is in "kayla's place" in the x-men origins era. even tho its a trash movie i love it sm and he looks so good in it. now you'll need to suspend some belief here for me because this is after logan's got the adamantium procedure, he's still got his memories, his house in the mountains, his construction job, and before he was an x-men. so. not very canon compliant im jumping thru a lot of hoops because its a self indulgent piece written thru the lens of fantasy to explore my own experiences and psychology

neither of them have any family or any friends to speak of. logan has a bad habit of picking up and caring for strays and youre a stray, so to speak. he takes on the responsibility of "caring for you" and youve got no one else. the marriage is official and legal, but there was no kiss, just signatures on the marriage contract. you live with logan in alberta, canada, but you got married in the states to avoid needing a witness and any extra hoops. basically a court house marriage

knowing logan it was a rather dry affair, there was nothing really celebratory about it. as soon as you two were officially married there was no hug or grins or anything, it was just another day. for logan, this is a commitment he takes very seriously, and marriage is just a way to show his intent, he doesnt need anything extra about it. no suits and ties, no dresses, just casual clothes and paperwork.

once you show a little disappointment for how things turned out, even though you told him before that it was all okay, i think hed sigh and turn the wheel of his truck (heading back across the border to canada) and go in to a store. tells you to wait there he'll be back, and you ignore your slight shivering. comes out with two dinky plastic cups and a bottle. turns the heat on for you and pops the bottle, pours you two glasses of champagne. "here you go, kid," he tells you, pushing the cup against your palm. he bumps his cup against yours, "mazel" he says and downs the contents. even though its small, its something. and its done in logan's way, and you love logan. your cheeks are a little warmer now from the drink and you feel better about it the day. he even holds your hand while he drives to keep it warm with his body heat, and to help you feel like he did this because he loves you

by all means pick my brain! i loved this ask

[gramm0]

I been on this site for many an age, and honestly it’s been so funny watching everyones obsessions shift from Steven universe and korrasami to like, just thirsting after older men now. Just straight up tormented, unhinged middle aged dudes are the blorbos now and it’s honestly great. Those babygirls need some lovin

[yakool-foolio]

Phoenix Wright

Just gonna go off of what's listed on the shipping wiki, cause if I tried to rate every single pair with him with the amount of characters in these games we'd be here all month.

Phoenix x Iris: 8/10; very cute, me likey. Iris genuinely caring for Phoenix while pretending to be Dahlia is super sweet, and Phoenix instantly being able to tell the difference between Iris n Dahlia is concrete evidence he knows her like the back of his hand. While I personally don't see them dating again post-Bridge, they'd definitely stay good friends forever.

Phoenix x Mia: 4/10; can't imagine this relationship lasting very long before death knocks on their door, but the utter grief is suffocating. Their relationship would just be full of sadness on both ends; they'd probably date for a short time just to try to forget Mia losing Diego and Phoenix being betrayed by Dahlia. Romance as a coping mechanism.

Phoenix x Maya: 0/10; nuh uh, they're siblings to me. I refuse to see them in a romantic light personally, but it certainly isn't the end of the world if I come across it. I don't care what anyone else does, I just don't ship it in the slightest.

Phoenix x Dahlia: 4/10; only fun if it's one-sided. I wanna see either Dahlia silently hating Phoenix's guts as he boasts the pretty lil necklace she gave him, or Phoenix cursing under his breath at the thought of talking to Dahlia again while she's possessing Maya. I need them to be bitter or I shall turn my nose up at it.

Phoenix x Doug Swallow: 2/10; this is a thing apparently, according to the wiki. I mean, I can guess why people might ship it; Doug basically saves Phoenix from the impeding doom of Dahlia and then they make out about it. Only reason it's rated so low is cause I haven't seen anything about this ship to really get a sense for their chemistry, but I do get the baseline concept.

Phoenix x Godot: 6/10; a ship I see a surprising amount of content for and I think it's getting me to like it more. Another relationship sunken in grief, but it's a much better fit on them in my eyes. Coffee dates are the best dates. Imagine all the coffee shop AUs that exist just for them.

Phoenix x Gumshoe: 5/10; neutral on this one, but I do like the concept! Just a couple o' guys staking out crime scenes together, lovin' their work. The best dudes for the job. They're supposed to be rivals but it never works. They're homies for life.

Phoenix x Kristoph: 7/10; if I liked Kristoph more, I might like this ship more than I already do. I am a sucker for toxic yaoi, so I'll gladly take it! Kristoph definitely has respect for Phoenix, as much as he hates to admit it, so why not seal the deal by making them have a very shaky relationship that ends in one framing the other for murder. Phoenix is suffering Edgeworth withdrawal and it's leading him to dark places. Kristoph is the Maria to Phoenix's James (n Edgeworth's Mary) and no one can tell me otherwise.

Phoenix x Lang: 5/10; I have no idea where this ship materialized from, but it just sounds funny. Alpha Wolf hot shot and his sassy lawyer boyfriend. If you thought Phoenix's sass was apparent enough already, Lang just intensifies it by being around him and they have a blast gossiping about the competition. I wanna see them interact in canon now.

Phoenix x Edgeworth: 10/10; A CERTIFIED CLASSIC! ONE OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS OF MLM SHIPS! THEY ARE A PART OF INTERNET HISTORY! It's so hard for me to ever think of them not being hopelessly in love with each other. They're husbands to me. They have matching wedding rings you just need to look closer.

Phoenix x Larry: 3/10; I don't like Larry so in turn it's really hard for me to like this ship. I think it could be interesting if teen Phoenix is in his bicurious era and does practice dates with Larry who is more than willing to help him out. Two men realized they're bi that day.

[lunatic-pudge]

Mpreg Postal Dude (Requested by Norman Reedus)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Started playing Postal Brain Damaged. Turns out I still suck at shooter games. Oh well. I'll be playing Postal Redux after I finish Brain Damaged. Also, God is trying to Nerf me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Now, you're gonna have to forgive me for not being the most educated on mpreg stuff. But this is such an interesting request (and I keep getting mpreg Dude art on my Insta feed) I had to take this request. Plus, like, why not? Let's get creative with this >:)

-I'm gonna leave some stuff up to interpretation, like this could be some sort of A/B/O scenario, or through some mysterious circumstances Dude became pregnant, or you somehow knocked him up, I'm letting you the reader decide how that happens

-Now, Dude didn't know he could get pregnant. He figured that since he's a guy, that was something he didn't have to worry about. So he didn't think much of it when he would start getting sick more often. Yeah, he was confused on why he seemed to have these random moments of sickness, but he just assumed it was his on and off drug use and his horrible diet

-You, being Dude's beloved partner, was there for him. Forcing him to rest, drink water, "No Dude, you can't have that, you're sick. Now go to bed." "But babe!" He be so whiny and adorable. He'd try to pick a "fight" about it but it so quick to accept defeat

-But then, you jokingly ask if he's pregnant, since he was sick, moody, was starting to get cravings, etc. Cue Dude staring at you blankly as he seriously considers it as a possibility. A very strange one, but still.

-It then leads to you both huddle around the computer looking to see if men can get pregnant. Turns out, it's a very real posibility. So cue the doctor's appointment!

-It seemed weird going to the doctor and being like, "Hey, my boyfriend and I think he's pregnant. Is he?" But the doctor actually considered it and had a blood test done, and it turned out DUDE REALLY WAS PREGNANT?!

-How could you knock my boy up like that?

-I'm just playing, but yeah. Our beloved gangly ginger is with child, somehow. And now it's time to figure out what to do. First thing is no more drugs and alcohol. It was a big fight at first but obviously Dude learned to deal with it

-Man, he'd be so needy while pregnant. Like constantly wanting more attention and affection from you. He'd be so distraught if you have to leave his general vicinity (you literally just had to pee). But he's so hard to be mad at

-The way he'd look so cute as his baby bump starts to show. You know you'd be rubbing your hands all over his bump. He'd let it cause it means getting lovins from you and that's really all he wants in life

-His craving are so weird. He's the type to wake up at 3am and want McDonald's. So get used to that. He'll also want to eat some of the weirdest food combos. Like, he'd probably eat that stuff when not pregnant, but the prenancy makes it worse

-You'll have to stop him from wanting to go out and cause chaos. He's even more quick to rush to violence if someone pisses him off. His jealousy is also worse than usual. Imagine getting murdered by a pregnant man cause you looked at his partner the wrong way. The baby craves the blood of the people that live in Paradise

-Don't have a gender reveal party. Just don't. He will somehow involve some Napalm into it

-CLOTHES SHOPPING FOR THE BABY!!!!! He doesn't care if he's having a girl or boy, they WILL be wearing dinosaur themed outfits. Dinosaurs are freaking awesome and he wants to show that his kid is the coolest. You two might've gone a little crazy with baby shopping. Oops

-I feel this is all jumbled, I think I'm transcreding to a new universe. But before that, I wanna leave you with one last scenario to picture. You and Dude laying in bed, his back pressed against you chest as you have his arms wrapped around him, rubbing his baby bump as you two talk about things such as what you two will be naming the baby. You just know this man is gonna be a sobbing mess when the baby takes their first steps and says their first words <3

[coureirsix]

i got to quote most of the "she's lost that lovin feeling" scene from top gun in front of a few middle aged men who not only laughed along with me but also filled in other parts.

and then this one dude came in and goes "cant believe i just got here and i walk into top gun" and i was like WELL SHE'S LOST THAT LOVIN' FEELING WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DOOOO and everyone laughed. day was made TBH

[painted-bees]

Thinkin’ personal thoughts about...why oppositely gendered characters are more engaging for me sit with than others, despite things.

particularly, main characters. I feel all of them are very fully realized, and I can talk about the most pedantic details about their life and personality at any moment upon being asked about it. But something that’s been constantly kinda tugging at me is my penchant to really *sit* in the headspace of my male characters.  It bothers me a bit because it makes my outward enthusiasm/presentation feel a bit lopsided--I obviously have my faves and...they’re all dudes lmao. It bothers me more because, as a pan person in a straight marriage, it makes me wonder if male characters are more ‘attractive’ for me to work with because maybe I just don’t be lovin’ the women as much as I *think* I do lmao it’s a really weird dumb thing to be insecure about, but yanno. But then I remember a thing Satoshi Kon once mentioned in an interview, about why all his lead characters are women. And his response included something to the effect of [[extreme paraphrasing]] “I’m a man, and I know too well how men think”, which very stuck with me. But also, I am pretty sure he did acknowledge his sexuality as a contributing factor. That stuck with me a little less. I feel like maybe, when I write a female character, once I’ve established their personality, their goals, their baggage, and their history, the rest is just very obvious and there’s not much for me to emotionally explore there in relation to myself. But when writing a male, I can take my own most obvious traits, challenges, etc, and view them from a very different lens. I know how the world interacts with and responds to women because that’s *my* world. But I’m much less familiar with how the world interacts with and responds to a man. And so, how might my traits, struggles, etc be navigated differently through this unfamiliar lens? I get a lot more catharsis from sitting in the headspace of a masculine character, and so I guess maybe that’s a big reason why I spend more time there. It’s free therapy lol I’m just curious as to why *gender* is the big differentiating lens to me, while other similarly novel identities such as geographic culture, sexuality, social class, race, heck *species*, do not affect my gravitation towards which character I find more engaging to sit with and develop/puzzle out. I feel like there’s something obvious that I am missing, and I’m real uncomfy with the idea that it might be related to my sexuality because no it isn’t and I would like to stop worrying that maybe it is lmao ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ewingstan]

☕️ + Ben Grimm, the ever lovin blue yeed thing

An icon for a reason. The Fantastic Four have a strange "elder statesmen" role in the comics nowadays, typically seen as the universally respected OGs other heroes get compared to or have to consult. And Aunt Petunia's favorite nephew is in a strange position there of basically going from where the mutants are always perpetually stuck—hated and feared, seen as a dangerous, inhuman monster—to a guy people stop on the street so he could take a picture with their kids. And that's largely because of his elder statesman position, one he gained A) through proximity to the rest of the fantastic four, who are much more obviously human, and B) through having rivalries with people who are like him but are ACTUALLY dangerous inhuman monsters like the Hulk. His antagonistic relationship with such people position him as their antitheses in a way that benefits the public's perception of him. Think all the times writers have Captain America punch guy-who's-like-Cap-but-racist to demonstrate how VERY MUCH he's NOT like them—Ben being the Hulk's go-to rival does the same thing in the eyes of Marvel's public.

He's got a kind of unique perspective on the whole super-hero thing. He's seen the public at their worst and most hateful in a way that plenty of Marvel heroes have (Hulk, X-men, Peter Parker, the Runaways) but is accepted (and beloved!) enough to be positioned as much less of a radical than such heroes typically are. Hell, even Cap or Iron Man get positioned as enemies to establishment structures more often than him. At the same time, his background means he has a much easier time relating to the more publicly feared heroes in Marvel—he can party with the x-men while Reed and Xavier are feuding, he can end fights with the hulk with hot dogs and theological debates while other heroes are trying with everything they have to imprison Banner. He's the outsider on the inside, so he gets to have much more nuanced relationships with people in nearly every public position. That nuance is made all the better by him having one of the more fleshed-out personalities of the early heroes—hot-headed but quick to reconcile, often a jerk but more often a genuinely caring dude, boisterous and loud while sometimes incredibly insecure. It makes for great interactions and relationships.

I also like how arguably even more than other members of the fantastic four, he is inundated with comic book bullshit. Sure, Torch might have dated an alien or two—but he didn't marry a supervillain's daughter and raise two aliens from warring species as his adopted kids*. Susan might have worked for SHIELD—but she doesn't have half her colleagues and a good deal of her enemies on tap for weekly poker nights. He almost becomes a structural pillar of the Marvel universe's conceit—a walking bridge of connections between what should be totally and tonally unrelated characters.

Man, I should read more Thing stuff. I got myself excited just thinking about him.

*'That's not unique to Ben, what about Reed's Future Foundation?' Reed barely looks at the Future Foundation. The reason the members keep changing in-between titles is that he routinely drops them off to explore an alien world and forgets they existed, and not all of them make it back. I'm 100% sure Tong and her brothers had to figure out a way out of the negative zone on their own three times by now. Talk to me when Reed becomes a committed father to an alien.

[adultswim2021]

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job #36: “Road Trip” | March 2, 2009 - 12:30AM | S04E04

Tim and Eric very clearly got less and less interested in appearing on camera as this show went on, many episodes from this era only feature them in wraparound segments. Episodes where they actually participate in a non-wraparound sketch become the exception. The show doesn’t suffer for it, really, but the wraparounds definitely feel like they accomplished everything in one take and moved on.

The wrap for this episode is maybe the weakest thing in the episode, but it’s fine! I like it, even! In it, Tim takes Eric on a road trip to Fort Lauderdale where his parents are fishing. The plan is to have a womanless party in Eric’s parents hotel room while they’re away deep-sea fishing. They come back early and start boning while everyone hides in the closet. Inexplicably, they start moaning Eric’s name, which is simply beyond gross. What a gross show!

The first true sketch is Back to Squall, a really good parody of 80s comedies starring James Quall and insufferable retard Jonah Hill. Not only does it do a very good job of resembling an actual 80s movie (on an Adult Swim budget, no less), but it also does a good job at mimicking an 1980s television promo for said movie. For all it's impressive verisimilitude I do have one quibble: briefly being able to see Jonah Hill’s lame-ass tats on his arm. I remember being straight-up outraged in 2009 when I first saw it. I’ve calmed down since then. But I still don’t like looking at it. 

DLH’s hilarious line about dating Barbara Streisand is in the running for one of the most quoted lines in my circle of friends. Also, there are two truly sublime moments that involve James Quall just giving up on life that they intentionally left in the episode. The faux-saccharine line “Of course I hope I never get to graduate so we can always live together” seems to be delivered while James is in the middle of powering down. This is one of my favorite jokes in all of Tim and Eric. Also the callback scene featuring an outtake of James just kinda muttering to himself in response to some off-camera stage directions (I assume) is really wonderful. There is more footage in the Extended Scenes portion of the DVD, featuring more riffing from Jonah Hill and a little more of DLH. In this version, Barbara Streisand is swapped for Geena Davis. 

During on Drawing features a dude who teaches you to “draw” but all he does is apply artistic filters to photos. All the photos are of corpses laying in caskets. Very scary stuff. There’s also a Brule's Rules about using a twig instead of a toothbrush that I mention here only because I don’t want there to be two extremely short paragraphs in a row. 

Cinco Boy is a very memorable sketch, featuring spokesperson Peter Stormare. The Cinco Boy is a synthetic boy that grieving mothers can purchase to replace their dead son. It is constantly replaced with older boys for as long as the mother lives. It’s a very creepy sketch, and has a great reprise where Stormare comes to her window and methodically gives her a thumbs up while she shakes her head in disgust. It’s punctuated by a great synthy musical sting. This moment hasn’t left my head since I first saw it on TV.

This sketch’s initial child funeral scene is also really funny; it features a callback to the drawing guy, seen taking paparazzi photos of the proceedings. Also a commemorative wreath with the bannered phrase “in lovin’ memory” is so fucking funny. Like, literally, just changing “loving” to “lovin’” somehow constitutes one of the funniest jokes ever told.

Also, a piece of pure video art: Mini Van Highway simply features a bunch of older men on old computers singing a electronica song about their minivan. Out of context, this one could theoretically be mistaken for a sincere music video, which is what makes it great. 

The other notable extra associated with this episode is for the opening Road Trip segment: turns out to accomplish the stunt of Eric being hit with a van they actually went through the trouble of casting a plaster cast of Eric’s face and arms because they were dissatisfied with over-the-counter dummies. I accuse Tim & Eric of dashing things off lazily, but I gotta give them credit for this. For some reason

NOTE: THANK YOU TO ANOTHER MAN FOR LETTING ME STEAL A JOKE FOR THIS POST. SOME SAY STOP THE STEAL, BUT I HAVE TO DISGAGREE

[avmlsu]

Charlie: check this out Mac: is this a page from a coloring book? Charlie: No due. That's "Night Man" those are lyrics Mac: Whatever. Let's just rock. Charlie: [Singing and playing piano]: Nightman, sneaky and mean, Spider inside my dreams, I think I love you, You make me wanna cry, You make me wanna die, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, Night Man,

Every night you come into my room, And pin me down, With your strong arms, You pin me down, And I try to fight you, You come inside me, You fill me up, Mac and Frank: [in unison]: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA Mac: Charlie--hold on a second. The first half of that song was kinda cool, but what's with the second half? Charlie: It's about the Night Man, like, filing me up, and I become him. I become the spirit of the Night Man. Mac: It sounds like a song where a man breaks into your house and rapes you. Charlie: WHAT DUDE?!?! Where are you getting that from? Charlie: [resumes singing and playing piano]: It's just two men, Sharing the night, It might seem wrong, But it's just right.

It's just two men sharing each other, It's just two men like lovin' brothers, One on top and one on bottom, One inside and one is out, One is screamin'he's so happy, The other's screamin' a passionate shout!

It's the Night Man, They're feeling so wrong and right, man, They're feeling so wrong and right, man, I can't fight you, man, When you come inside me, And pin me down with your strong hands, And I become the Night, The passionate, passionate, Night Man.

<cut to Mac and Dennis' apartment> Mac: [to Dennis, on his bed reading a book]: We need a new front man.

[abracazabka]

wlm/nblm watching bridgerton s2: wow imagine being kate <3

wlw and nblw: I am pretending I am anthony bridgerton so hard right now

[louislyrics]

x

[dylansaint-blog]

i think brokeback mountain is the only gay movie brave enough to show more gay sex than het sex in it

[lynn-writes-things]

Ok you touched upon it in your GOD TIER relationship writing but could you do headcanons for the jjk men that focus on how possessive and/or jealous they are with their partner? ☺️ Thanks

oh ASBOLUTELY I can!! thank you for the request!! :) I'm lovin' these haha

jealousy, jealousy - jjk men

starring: Yuji Itadori; Megumi Fushiguro; Yuta Okkotsu; Toge Inumaki; Noritoshi Kamo; Satoru Gojo; Suguru Geto; Toji Fushiguro; Naoya Zenin; Choso Kamo; Ryomen Sukuna

cw: some of these get pretty suggestive!! ; very very very brief mention of a knife k!nk in Toji's, but I promise I did not elaborate at all I promise <3

Yuji Itadori:

1/10

he only really gets jealous if you're laughing at some guy's jokes if he doesn't already know him, cause he likes being the person to make you laugh the most :(

ngl he gets a teensy bit pouty even if one of his friends make you laugh harder than he does :((

he's not overbearing tho, he gets that you're your own person and can talk to/laugh with whoever you want, but he might get a bit irked every now and then

he'll probably come up and throw his arms around you, or kiss your cheek, and tbh he's such a social dude that he'd probably start talking to the guy

(tbh they'd probably become friends, it's Yuji, man just goes around being his sweet himbo self and ends up collecting a new buddy everywhere he goes)

Megumi Fushiguro:

7/10? mayyybe 8/10?

he's super insecure in himself, having such a rollercoaster of an upbringing will do that to ya'

idk he just doesn't see himself as being as he really is, he's got a lot of childhood trauma that keeps his self-confidence stunted

(because evidently Fushiguro men cannot grasp the concept of therapy)

he'll either come up and grab your hand/pull you into a side hug or somethin' along those lines

nothing too extreme, he's not big on pda ya know?

OR he gets really pouty and reserved

you'll have to get him alone and ask him what's wrong, pls help him figure out how to talk through his problems dude, he needs the helping hand

reassurance and affection will fix him right up, don't you worry!!

the key to fixing a pouty Megumi is just lots of love <3

ngl if you're gonna throw in some minimal spice here, he'd totally be the type to mark you up that night (probably not anywhere too visible, he's still Megumi, still a very easily flustered baby boy <3)

Yuta Okkotsu:

2/10

he's got a bit of insecurity in himself, but ever since making friends with his classmates he's really gotten better with his confidence!

sure, dating you kinda shook his nerves back up, but he trusts you completely, he doesn't think you'd ever cheat on him, so he doesn't really get too worried about it ya know?

that's MOST of the time

sometimes someone will just rub him the wrong way and he'll step in, usually just kinda hugging you from behind or kissing your cheek/forehead or somethin' like that

he'll definitely make a point of calling you by a cute petname while doing it too

like a lil' "Hey baby!" or "Hi, love!!" :) <3

Toge Inumaki:

7/10, bordering an 8/10

he's just.. insecure :(

between the seals on his mouth and his limited speech, he just doesn't really feel like he can give you the kind of love that you deserve

cause he's too worried about uncovering his mouth to kiss you in public, and he can't fucking talk to you

it just makes him feel bad, like you deserve better

that being said, he doesn't wanna lose you, so he will absolutely fight for you if someone tries to flirt with you

he's got no issue with other forms of pda, so he'll come over and wrap his arms around you, put his head on your shoulder, or he'll just straight up grab your arm and pull you away (not hard, baby boy would never ever hurt you)

he might get pretty pouty tho, probably get pretty in his own head about it

so you'll have to kiss him and hold his hand and reassure him that you love him, that he's more than enough for you, and that you'd never want anyone else - just him <3

now.... I have touched on this......

if Toge can TELL that you're playing it up and TRYING to make him jealous?

ngl it kinda turns him on if you're doing it on purpose lmoa

this mf is NOT afraid to leave visible hickeys <3

let's just say he's gonna make damn sure that you know you are his <3

Noritoshi Kamo:

hmmmmmmmmmm, 5/10? maybe?

idk it's hard to gauge with him cause he refuses to act on his feelings for the sake of saving face publicly

like he absolutely gets jealous, but he'll never really show how jealous he is

he'll just kinda come up and say that he needs you for something

or generally come up with an excuse for you needing to leave

if he's REALLY jealous then he'll lead you away with his hand on your wrist or arm

he's definitely the type to talk to you about it once you're alone together

you won't have to force it out of him (like a certain somebody) cause he wants to clear things up right away

he's got enough stress goin' on, he doesn't want your relationship to be stressful too, so he's big on communication <3

he's a verrry affectionate guy in private, so if you reassure him of your love and give him lots of cuddles and kisses then he'll relax and be happy <3 :)

Satoru Gojo:

9/10 if you add in the possessive factor

if we take away the possessiveness, mayyyybe closer to like a 4/10

Gojo is one cocky son of a bitch, but he is also a fucking ball of bottled up trauma, ya know?

he trusts you as much as he can, but again, trauma comes into play here

man has deep rooted trust issues and until he properly addresses and works through them with you, he can't allow himself to fully trust that you won't leave him out of nowhere too

ANYWAYS

he's good at fronting ya know? so if someone's making him jealous, he's apt to just cling to you like a child and flash the dude the cockiest fuckin' grin after he kisses your cheek super obnoxiously (we're talking full blown "shmack!" noises)

"Made a new friend, my lil' mochi? Whatcha talkin' about? Hm?"

nowwwww if you TRY making him jealous, he will not take the bait

he will simply wait until you are alone (even if that means dragging you into a closet somewhere) and uh... he'll make sure everyone in a nearby radius hears you say exaactly who you belong to <3

Suguru Geto:

ahhhhh, the cunning, conniving, cocky bastard himself <3

0/10 tbh

like I said in the other post, he's too confident in himself and in his trust for you to really get jealous

he is possessive tho, but in a really cocky way??

if he sees someone getting a lil too friendly with you, he'll come right up and sling his arm around you, kiss your temple, and just join right into the conversation

if the guy stops talking (cause Suguru is fucking intimidating with how calm and collected he carries himself) then he's very quick to fill the silence

"Oh, don't stop on my account. You were saying? Something about how nice my baby looks, right? Go on, continue, aren't they stunning?"

all the while he's got this mf look in his eyes, his smug ass grin, he doesn't even have to say anything to get the message across

"Bet you wish you were me, huh?"

ngl there's also a quiet implied threat, like he's daring the guy to actually speak up

alternatively he will give you a look

I'm thinkin one eyebrow slightly raised, unamused expression

this mostly happens if you're the one trying to make him jealous

all in all this look of his towards you has a very clear message of "Get over here now or you will regret it"

yes sir 🛐

Kento Nanami:

another 0/10

not the jealous type, he trusts you completely and he's pretty confident in himself

he's very good at communication, and he's willing to do anything to make things work, so he's not worried about anyone stealing you away from him

the only time I can really see him stepping in is if someone's flirting with you and you're clearly uncomfortable and the guy isn't letting up

it's then that your big strong prince charming will swoop in and put his arm around you, or just kinda step in front of you and firmly tell the guy that you are taken

Nanami can be a pretty intimidating guy when he wants to be, so it's very likely that the guy will back off

if not? well, Nanami knows how to fight, and he isn't afraid to get his hands dirty if it means saving you from some creep <3

oh-ho, but if you try to make him jealous? giggling, maybe throwing in some light touches to the guy's bicep or somethin?

he knows what you're doing. ha.. haha.... oh honey, you ain't walkin' tomorrow :)

Toji Fushiguro:

hehe

10/10, possibly an 11/10

like I said, my man's a double whammy, he's jealous AND possessive

he trusts you to the best of his abilities, but it's very very hard for him, ya know?

everyone who was supposed to love him growing up only ever hurt him, then the one person who he loved, who taught him how to love and to be loved, fucking died

so, he's scared, trusting somebody scares the hell out of him, but he does trust you as much as he can let himself (it'll get better as time goes on, but ya know, it's just gonna take a bit)

basically what I'm getting at here, he's still not totally certain that you're gonna stick around (and quite honestly, he doesn't know why you do in the first place)

he is also MAD possessive tho, you are his and he does not intend on sharing <3

if he sees another man so much as look at you twice then he's pulling you closer, wrapping his arm around you, kissing you, throwin' out lil "Hey there, doll" and stuff like that

if you happen to be away from him (say he went to the bathroom or something) and comes back to see some guy with you, if you look even mildly uncomfortable, or if he can see you trying to get the dude to leave you alone, and he won't.......

hehe, that dude is gonna be napping for a bit! ......on the ground! ...........in the middle of the bar! ......he might wanna invest in some concealer for the black eye tho :')

he's scared you're gonna leave, but make no mistake, nobody is fuckin' takin' you from him without a mf fight

no matter the circumstance, a jealous Toji is a very good assurance that you uh.. yeah.. yeah I think you get where I'm goin' with this

he is not afraid to leave visible marks on that pretty neck of yours <3

ngl my knife k!nk is gonna scare people away here so I'm just gonna keep that on inside! use your imagination!! :)

Naoya Zenin:

8/10

he's honestly a pretty insecure guy who tries to act overly confident to mask it cause his clan taught him that any signs of weakness will make him unworthy

his family is just so damn strict with him, always has been, always making him feel like if he makes one slight wrong move then he's just a total fuck up

that translates to his relationship with you, he's terrified of making a mistake, he's constantly overthinking things and feels like he's screwing things up with you all the time

he just never feels like he's "good enough"

that being said, if someone's gonna try and steal you from him, they're in for a fuckin' fight

much like Toji, he may be insecure, but he loves you too much to let anybody take you away from him <3

if someone's flirting with you - hell, if some guy so much as looks at you wrong - he's grabbing you and kissing you

not a peck, no, he'll kiss you like it's the last thing he's ever gonna do

he's gonna leave you breathless and EVERYONE is gonna know that you're his <3

Choso Kamo:

1/10

I was gonna give him a 0/10, but I started thinking more about this

he's not quite a cocky man, but he is very sure of himself and confident

and for him to love you means that he trusts you completely

but he knows that he's kinda.. not really up to date on a lot of things

he wonders a lot why you'd rather be with him than someone who can relate more to you and understand your little references

(help, now I'm just picturing Choso as fucking Steve Rodgers, after you start introducing him to more media he'll just start fucking going "I understood that reference!!" and be so proud of himself)

ANYWAYS

like I said tho, he isn't much a jealous guy, but he is cautious, so he'll step in if he sees you talking to a guy he doesn't know

either just stands by you lookin' all intimidating, or he'll wrap his arms around you

he won't say anything to the guy, I think he'd just kinda stand there (menacingly), givin' the guy a look

if he does recognize the guy then he's a lot more chill about it, unless the guy happens to be a known slut like Gojo or Geto

even then, he knows they won't try anything if he's by you, so he'll just be a lil extra clingy <3

Ryomen Sukuna:

0/10 for jealousy, 1000/10 for possessiveness

ain't NOBODY touching you <3

some guy dares to flirt with you? haha, hey buddy, how's hell treatin' ya?

if he's in a good mood then murder can be avoided, but the guy will prooobably be scared shitless when faced with a big scary Sukuna giving him a death-glare

big scary guard dog <3

he also doesn't ever leave your side because of his possessiveness, like he is always right there, always holding onto you in some way or another

you are his and he will not fucking share <3

no one shall even have the slightest chance <3

oh, but I mean, obviously if he gets even mildly riled up, he's obviously gonna have to "remind you" that you're his, and his alone :) <3