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straighttohellbuddy · 4 years ago

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World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand.

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes.

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart.

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018.

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals.

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse.

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

#Anonymous #how the light gets in #corpse husband x reader #black cat anon

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canyouhearthelight · 4 years ago

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The Miys, Ch. 112

Whew! Okay. Happy last-chapter-of-Spooptober! I hope we all made it through okay.

This chapter is dedicated to @zazen-rabbit and our pumpkin carving antics in the past. I love carving pumpkins, and this chapter is the payoff to the month-long references to enormous jack-o-lanterns. You want to know what they look like, right? Right. And thanks, as always, to @baelpenrose for your beta-reading and input. It made this chapter so much fun to write, and it always makes writing so much more fun to have someone to bounce ideas off of in real time.

Before anyone objects, @charlylimph-blog also beta-read this chapter and gave full approval. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, even after reading the chapter, then thank you ;)

On an serious note, since this is the last chapter before the big day: if you live in the United States, go vote by November 3. Too many people have fought and died for the right to vote in the U.S. for any of us to decide not to vote. And there are too many people in this country who have lost the right to vote for unfair, racially motivated reasons for us to dare skipping out.

At some point, the pumpkins were finally scooped completely free of seeds and stringy goop, all of which was carefully stored to be used later as ingredients. Finally, those of us who dared were set loose with sharp objects and abject glee to start carving, in our own unofficial competition. Conor, Maverick, and Coffee took a well earned break and drank cocoa that had manifested from somewhere probably-Charly-related.

Arthur and Grey each took on their own enormous squash, carving with various implements in complete silence. Tyche and I, on the other hand, were tag-teaming one at a time, moving with a similar precision to when we cooked together - she would carve the bulk of the spaces, while I focused on finicky tricks of the light and filigrees. I couldn’t see Charly over her pumpkin, but she was suspiciously quiet and I could see Simon eyeing her with worry.

Two hours later, I was seriously concerned with how anyone was carving these on their own. My hands and shoulders were cramped into knots, and I had help. A soft tune was drifting over from Charly, who was apparently humming while she just kept carving away. Tyche had very, very carefully climbed/been lifted out of the first pumpkin and was working on the second one. Grey and Simon looked finished, while Arthur was studying his with a very serious expression that confused the hell out of me.

Especially considering that this side of his jack-o-lantern was untouched. Curious….

Eventually, I was done and trying to shake and massage feeling back into my fingers. Charly was still going, but spoke as she saw me stand up. “Almost done!” she promised, one hand bracing herself and the other carefully cutting away a few final bits. I shook my head with a laugh and wandered back over to our ‘fire’. Before we started our carving, we promised that each person who finished had to wait and face away from any pumpkin but their own, and everyone looked like they had kept their word. As tired as I was, I was nearly twitching to see what everyone else had done.

Finally, finally Charly came bouncing over and didn’t even bother sitting down while we all stood and turned to look at the finished products.

I had just enough time to take in Simon’s - surprisingly, a werewolf-Riding-Hood howling at the moon from a cliff - when Arthur started swearing. “Are you fucking serious, Reids?”

I smothered a grin and turned, doing my best impression of Charly’s most innocent face. “What?”

“They’re…lace…” Grey answered, much more calmly. “All the way around… You two turned them into… lace.”

“A bit sturdier than that,” Tyche corrected. “But, yeah.”

Bravely, Simon ran a hand over the closest one. “There’s actually more here than you think,” he pointed out, almost confused. “Some of this isn’t cut all the way through.”

“Nope,” I grinned. “That’s how you get different shading. Some of it is solid, just really thin.”

Grey nodded in understanding and I soon saw why: they had carved an optical illusion for their lantern. When standing on one side, it was a beautiful young woman. But look at it from the other side -

“Holy rabies, it’s The Phantom of the Opera,” Paden half gasped, half squealed.

“And Christine Daae, yes,” they smiled slightly. “I never was allowed to carved these when I was a child, so it became my favorite thing each year after I left my parents’ home.”

Charly let out a low whistle. “That is some serious carving skill.”

“Let’s see yours,” Simon turned eagerly, followed quickly by the rest of us.

Not to be outdone, Charly had carved an entire flower garden full of butterflies, birds, and fairies. There was even a….

Oh. Oh hell no.

Before I could stop myself, I let out an ear-piercing shriek and turned to run. Conor and Maverick, confused as they were, quickly caught me and held me despite my struggles. I was sobbing hysterically when I heard Charly’s voice speaking in a confused tone, although I could not make out the words. Soon, I felt a small, familiar hand on my elbow.

“Sophia, it’s just a carving of a bunny,” Tyche explained slowly. “It’s not even real.” A brief pause. “Oh, you two better not say a damned thing, I mean it. She’ll explain later, she just needs to calm down.”

Arthur’s voice trailed in. “I knew about the bunnies, but I have some serious questions later.”

“Oh, noooo…” Charly practically shouted in what I could now realize was an entirely insincere tone, followed by a wet thud. “Simon tripped and kicked my pumpkinnnnn… the rabbit is now a rock…”

“But I didn’t - “

“If you don’t shut the fuck up,” she hissed. “I had no idea about the rabbits.”

“I really hope no one is afraid of aliens or werewolves,” Simon sighed wearily. “Especially… Charly are they making out?”

“Yep!”

“Seriously you two,” Tyche sounded like she turned away. “That’s not even remotely…. A… Joke, apparently? You actually carved that...” She shook my elbow. “Sophia. Seriously. Alien making out with werewolf.”

I had calmed down just enough that my curiosity was peaked. Slowly, I turned away from Conor and Maverick and back to the Pumpkin of Lapine Doom. Sure enough, there was a hole where the rabbit had been, and as I followed around to what everyone was staring at… Yep. Alien. Werewolf. Kissing.

“Huh.” I was actually shocked out of any remaining anxiety I had. “That’s pretty cool, actually.”

“At this point, I feel like mine is rather anticlimactic,” Arthur sighed as dramatically as I had ever heard him - which wasn’t much, but it was at least noticeable. “There is no murderous mammal, or filigree lantern, or optical illusion.” Without further words, he flung his hands toward his lantern in a ta-da gesture.

“Oh, wow,” I whispered, echoed by nearly everyone.

Instead of any tricks or intricate patterns, his pumpkin was a straightforward, three foot tall face. A cross between a skeleton and a smile, it was eerily familiar. The eyes were enormous - easily half the entire face - and just wide and empty spaces. Two vertical lines made up the nose, while the mouth curled up and around cartoonishly until the corners stretched beyond the outside edges of the eyes.

“It’s Jack Skellington,” Tyche said, doubtfully. “From that really old movie. But… something is different. I can’t put my finger on it.”

It was Conor who figured it out first. Leaning over, he tapped gently where the cheeks would be on the face. “These symbols. I don’t think they were there originally.” Sure enough, both ‘cheeks’ were covered in geometric patterns.

“They look Terran Muslim,” Grey guessed.

Arthur shook his head, however. “Celtic, but I can honestly say you weren’t as off base as it sounds. Muslim art uses a lot more intricate geometry, though.” Clearing his throat, he stared through the pumpkin. “One of my students, Before, used to make a jack-o-lantern like this every year. When I decided to carve one, I figured… hell, why not?”

After a moment of silence, it was Simon who finally threw his hands up in the air. “Oh, nothing special he says… anticlimactic he says… Let me just show up lace, and illusions, and smooching cryptids by casually carving a memorial to a student. No big deal….”

Arthur narrowed his eyes at Simon dangerously, prompting me to step in between them. Before I could say anything though, Arthur shrugged the comment off. “Why not? We’ve decided it’s October, so it would be the time of year for ghosts, and Halloween was always her favorite holiday. I know at least a few of my former students are somewhere on board the Ark, and we all carry her spirit with us.”

“You come pre-haunted,” Tyche nodded seriously. Somehow, it didn’t sound that ridiculous.

After all, weren’t we all?

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1833outboy · 5 years ago

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hello yes, it is i, a person desperate for content. i’ve gone through all of the fics on your last peterick fic rec, you wouldn’t have any more by chance? so sorry to bother you ahaha i’m just craving peterick yk? i will literally give you my firstborn

hello! so sorry this is so late, it took a while to put together. i think the last (and only, iirc) rec list i did is like 2 years old, so i’m definitely due to make a new one! (old rec list is here, for anyone interested)

completed fics

with the moon in his arms by miserylovedme [e, 40k+] pete is a merman who saves patrick’s life.

show me a truman by awkwardgturtle [e, 35k+] a series of fics featuring pete in a truman show au.

schrodingerverse by @earlgreytea68 [m, 20k+] the first fic in this series is probably like... one of my favourite fics ever, for various reasons. pete decides to get a tinder, patrick joins him and pete realises his feelings for his bff may not be quite so platonic. also pete has an adorable son. the other fics in the series are about life during quarantine and they’re wonderful too.

louder than bombs by @sn1tchesandtalkers [e, 18k] fun fact about me - i love apocalyptic, end of days type shit. it’s my jam and one day i’ll write my own zombie fic or something similar. i don’t really need to though, because snitches wrote this end of days van days fic and it’s perfect. it’s not zombies, it’s nuclear fallout, and it’s full of hurt/comfort, angst, and dumb boys being dumb. (it’s also a complement fic to @das-verlorene-kind ‘s amazing art!)

a handful of hopeful words by @carbonbased000 [t, 15k] pete is a best selling author in the midst of a divorce, patrick is his editor. the pining in this!! also, i love pete’s voice very much. so good.

abstract impressions by @folie-aplusieurs [e, 44k+] a hiatus fic that focuses on patrick’s ‘we liked you better fat’ blog post and his feelings prior to the reunion as pete places himself back into patrick’s life and offers some comfort.

the kiss scene by @hum-my-name [g, 33k] a peter pan theatre au! with lots of peter pan parallels. super cute.

ever brave by @the-chaotic-panda [m, 21k] another post apocalyptic au, this time with pete as an alien robot who should be killing humans like patrick, but instead decides to save him. i love this fic. lots of lovely hurt/comfort.

don’t want to be a footnote by @shark-myths [m, 45k+] patrick is a lawyer without a family who decides to put in an ad for a husband and son on craigslist to give merit to a white lie he’s being telling his coworkers. pete answers his call. featuring a wonderfully villainous joe trohman.

sanctuary (a feral tale) by @glitterandrocketfuel [m, 20k] an a/b/o van days fic where the boys crash the van and have to head over to the mysterious cookietown until it’s fixed. i suppose technically it’s a christmas fic, but i found myself rereading it in the middle of june tbh; it’s that good, y’know.

little red riding hoodie by @laudanumcafe [e, 10k] an a/b/o little red riding hood au with pete the great big softie of a wolf. funny and charming!

“don’t you want your heart eaten?” asked the fire by @carbonbased000 & @andwhatyousaid [e, 34k] a howls moving castle au! i’ve never seen/read howls, but this fic is beautiful and magical.

come into the water by @das-verlorene-kind [e, 34k] another pete the merman fic! this is the perfect fish out of water story.

i am collapsing star with tunnel vision (but only for you) by @toorational [m, 15k] pete is injured during a show. lots of lovely hurt/comfort!

wips

crooked love by @sn1tchesandtalkers [e] patrick is a corporate asshole who uses sex to relieve stress. pete’s all too happy to help.

the music or the misery by @carbonbased000 [e] a high fidelity au!

you’re the culmination of everything i’ve never had by @earlgreytea68 [m] pete’s a big movie star who walks into quiet little patrick’s record store.

husband on the payroll by @das-verlorene-kind [e] marriage of convenience turns into feelings!

power on by @folie-aplusieurs [unrated] patrick is an android that falls into pete’s possession. pete doesn’t care for androids, but patrick is no ordinary robot.

from now on we are by @hum-my-name [unrated] an enemies to lovers fic where patrick agrees on a dangerous bet in order to save his father’s record studio.

love in the middle of a firefight by @smalltalktorture [e] a lovers to enemies to friends to lovers fic with patrick the paramedic and pete the firefighter, featuring boyfriend bob the bastard cop.

like a wave by @the-chaotic-panda [e] patrick goes on vacation, away from his wife and his kids, to set his mind at ease. then he meets pete.

one day we’ll get nostalgic for disaster by heavensgate [e] an eternal sunshine of the spotless mind au!

reasons to breathe by throwingupsparkles [e] pete the single dad falls for his kid’s music teacher.

franz kafka, frank zappa by @battylite [e] a slowburn about falling in and out of love, in which navigating young adulthood is just as complicated as it seems.

i also recommend checking out the other stuff these authors have written!! i could’ve just listed everything a whole bunch of these authors ever wrote, but then this post would be very long and i would never be finished.

also, while i’m here: here’s my stuff, most of it from last year when i knew how to write.

i know i’ve unintentionally missed a lot of awesome authors, so please feel free to add more!

#peterick #fic recs #fob fanfic #fall out boy fanfiction #fob #did you know you can't underline stuff anymore?#i can't anyway #what's that about #i really hope all those links go to the right places lmao #queerteez

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gracereadstoomanybooks · 4 years ago

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answering questions I’ve been asked on TikTok✨

QUESTION: how did you get into reading?

So, when I was in middle school (many moons ago) we had this thing called AR Testing. Basically, you read a book and take a test on it—the questions were things that happened in the book, it was really simple. If you got a good grade, you got points. The more points you earned, the more eligible you were for the reading party at the end of each semester. Me, being the nerd I am, got top of my class because I went through 8th grade level books like it was nothing. The librarian at my school brought me books from the high school to read since everything was easy for me, and alas, my addiction began. And now that I have adult money, it’s a true addiction. Also, telling my father “I’m bored” and his response being, “go read a book or something” so thanks dad.

QUESTION: what’s one book you ALWAYS recommend to people?

This one is tough because I’ve read THOUSANDS of books, but if I had to choose one, it would probably be Confess by Colleen Hoover. I fell in love with her work in high school when I first read Ugly Love, but Confess is the type of book that pulls at your heart strings, y’all. It has everything people love: humor, sexual tension, drama, love. GO BUY THE DAMN BOOK. Or honestly any book by Colleen Hoover—she’s a fucking amazing author.

QUESTION: outside of making TikToks, what do you do for a living?

I currently work at a restaurant and hate every second of it. If anyone tells you to become a server, DONT. It’s not worth the hassle, I promise you. Sure, you can make decent money but the amount of rude customers and shitty tips you receive each shift is very disheartening. If you really need a job, do anything BUT work in the food industry.

QUESTION: what’s your wattpad story about?

First question: which one? I have about 30 drafts sitting there waiting to be posted. But, I’m going to assume you’re talking about the Harry Styles fan fiction I’ve been working on for the past 4 years and haven’t had the courage to post. I’ll tell you a little about it: Elaine Aldridge is forced into a betrothal to a man she’s never met & loathes. She goes to his court and realizes things aren’t what they truly seem. And the guard her future husband sticks on her??? None other than Mr. Harry Styles. Add in some magic & deaths and you’ve got my story— The First Prince. (Honestly, that’s an extremely shitty description so if you wanna check it out go to my wattpad account)

QUESTION: how old are you?

Ahem. . . twenty-one.

QUESTION: what is your dream career?

Being a published author and having people rave about my books. That’s all. Or, an editor for a publishing company. Imagine reading all day and being paid for it🤩

QUESTION: what was your least favorite read of 2020?

I already KNOW I’m gonna get shit for this but....... the wicked king. YALL I LITERALLY COULDNT GET THROUGH IT IM SO SORRY, I STILL HAVENT FINISHED IT

QUESTION: current favorite author?

Sarah. J. Maas. I don’t know what it is about her writing style, but it’s addicting. Throne of Glass is hands down the best series I’ve ever read. A Court of Thorns and Roses is the first book I’ve EVER reread. Her stories truly suck you in and hold onto you—you get lost so easily in her writing and it’s like once you’re done with a series, nothing will compare. Or, at least that’s how I felt after finishing Kingdom of Ash. Honorable mentions: Jennifer L. Armentrout, Penelope Douglas, L.J Shen, Elle Kennedy and Kennedy Fox.

QUESTION: any recommendations/tips to give to a new reader?

I’ve always given this advice to people who want to get into reading: find what you like and start with that. If you like romance, I’ve got a list for you to choose from. Mystery? Another list. Sci-fi? I GOT YOU. Fantasy? Yes! Sports fiction? It might take me a second but I’ll find you a book. Nonfiction? I’m zero help in that category, honestly. The point of the matter is that you’re never going to enjoy a book if you aren’t interested in the underlying topics.

QUESTION: do you ever find yourself comparing your life to fictional life?

Yes. All the time. I daydream about being apart of the Inner Circle and living in Terrasen with Aelin and Rowan. I think about what it would be like to have real powers and a mate. It drives my boyfriend crazy—but he loves me anyway.

QUESTION: what are your most anticipated books of 2021?

Here’s a list:

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

The Crown of Gilded Bones by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Gods and Monsters by Shelby Mahurin

Crescent City 2 (Untitled) by Sarah J. Maas

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer (I just ordered this one & it arrives tomorrow)

Blessed Monsters by Emily A. Duncan

QUESTION: why did you start a Tumblr?

Honestly, I used to love tumblr when I was in grade school (way too young to be on here then but what else is new). I like having an extra space to get my questions and comments out without having to compress it into a 60 second video for TikTok to see. Tumblr is a good place to blog & post things like this.

QUESTION: what’s your favorite song right now?

I’ve listened to Carry You by Novo Amor every day for the past two months and I cry each time.

QUESTION: why write Harry Styles fan fiction?

Simple: I love Harry Styles. I’ve been a fan of him and One Direction since they were on X FACTOR. Read that again. X. Factor. I used to watch their performances on YouTube before WMYB even came out. Of course, I love all of the 1D boys but I was always a Harry gal. And I look up to him in a way—I’ve read things about people wishing they knew him personally and honestly? I would never want to meet him. I like the version of him I’ve cooked up in my brain over the past 10 years. I like the symbiotic relationship I have with his music. Fine Line is a ✨masterpiece✨. HS1 is a ✨work of art✨.

now, some topics I’ve been asked way too many times and want to finally get to:

QUESTION: political views?

the saying “anyone but trump” has been in my brain for the past four years. No, I’m not a republican. No, I’m not a democrat. I like to think of myself as a progressive (ahem, liberal) Did I vote for a democratic candidate? Yes, and I’d do it again and again until the US isn’t one of the worst countries—I’m sorry, businesses— to be apart of. I wanted Bernie but got Biden, and I’m alright with that. And my girl Kamala🥳

QUESTION: how did you feel about the BLM protests?

I went to multiple BLM protests and donated a lot of funds to BLM & other organizations. It’s 2021, people... stop being fucking RACIST. And don’t be afraid to call racist people out! Black Lives Matter, even if no one is posting about it anymore.

QUESTION: thoughts on abortion?

your body your choice, queen! not my uterus, not my problem.

QUESTION: there was a comment on an old video of yours talking about r*pe, why did you delete the comment?

I made a video when I first started my account on TikTok about reading in public and feeling “turned on” by it. Go watch it if you don’t know what I’m talking about. BUT, some ignorant male decided to comment and say “this is how girls get r*ped”. Whew. So. I deleted the comment because ....

I am a victim of sexual assault. Along with a lot of other women. 1 in 5 women have been victims of sexual assault. Talking about being r*ped isn’t funny.

No one else needed to see his comment. I reported it immediately and his account was shut down.

I never got justice for what happened to me, and the fact that some random male—who had never even met me or seen me before my video showed up on his FYP—had the nerve to comment that? Unacceptable.

this question isn’t as controversial but

QUESTION: what’s the best way to get out of a toxic relationship?

okay, let me just start off by saying that the people around you who love and support you are going to be your backbone. Leaving a toxic situation is hard, and every situation is different, but my best piece of advice to offer you is don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your loved ones are going to be there for you when you need them, even if you don’t believe they will. If you explain what’s happening, someone you know and love will drop whatever it is their doing to make sure you get out safely. good luck my babes.

now, back to our regularly scheduled program:

QUESTION: any tips on making tiktoks?

Literally none. I post what I think is funny and relatable and if anyone agrees, I’m satisfied. Even if it’s one view, it’s good enough for me. So I guess my one tip is to not base your life off of an app and followers.

QUESTION: favorite Harry Styles fanfic?

DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE. Duplicity is up there, along with Stall 1&2, and Kiwi. After? Absolutely not.

QUESTION: favorite WEBTOON?

y’all already KNOW. LORE OLYMPUS BY USEDBANDAID. Rachel is a genius and I have reread the series a million times. Hades is my soulmate and Apollo can rot in the fiery pits of the Underworld. also, if we’re talking about other webcomics, reading Walk on Water on mangadex...🤫

QUESTION: favorite movie?

Howls Moving Castle. I will be getting my “a heart is a heavy burden” tattoo very very soon.

QUESTION: I read your Elain theory on tumblr, can you explain a little more?

I thought I was pretty straightforward but I’ll say it again: she is always the “good” one and it’s too suspicious. SJM has already given one Archeron sister a happy ending, Nesta’s is obviously inevitable, but Elain? She has too many options for a happy ending. Lucien, who is her “mate”. Azriel, who is intrigued by her slightly. Her human guy—I don’t remember his name—who is disgusted that she’s not human anymore. Or, alone, planting flowers all day. BUT! My point is that she’s not truly happy. She was forced into the Cauldron just like Nesta. She was ripped away from the life she loved so dearly and didn’t want to give up. The man she was going to marry now hates her guts because she’s a High Fae. She has the perfect set up for a villain plot line and I’m all here for it.

well, that’s all I feel like doing tonight. hope you enjoyed my little q&a! be kind, and talk to you later! byeeee!

#a court of silver flames #acotar #harry styles #one direction #sarah j maas #throne of glass #wattpad #tiktok #elain archeron #howls moving castle #lore olympus #q&a time #walk on water #persephone #lore olympus hades

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justamixofemoandpunk · 4 years ago

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Ok so i have to publish stuff for one of my classes. and I am publishing it to tumblr dot com

Please don't be mean I'm sorry.

Poetry Portfoilio:

I Come from poem

I come from rainstorms

Softly tapping the windows,

Nourishing the ground

Rainbows are just around the corner,

And yet nobody wants it to end

Soft and comforting

I come from rainstorms

With howling winds,

Beating at the doors,

flooding ponds and

Spattering against the window

Ripping petals off flowers

Violent and merciless

I come from cool mornings,

With fuzzy sweaters and hot tea

Coffee weak to with sugar and cream

Favorite spices stirred in

Trees are turning bright colors in the distance

Rubbing sleep from your eyes

I com from cool mornings,

With harsh wind biting cheeks and noses

Painfully early

Headaches from trying to remember a forgotten dream

And burning fevers

I come from mist and fog

Warm mornings with honeysuckle perfume

Birds in the far distance chirp

Of a new day

Covered in a fluffy white sweater

I come from mist and fog

Shrouding the distance

“Danger, Danger” whispers the trees

A snake slithers unseen on the forest floor

Mystery itself is fearful

I come from power herself

Spring spots poem

flowers peeking through honeysuckle vines

with bowed heads from the weight of the world

and pink stretch marks from holding it up

they do not care, they know they are strong and beautiful

and yet tired all the same from the thankless work

more flowers appear,

this time with anger that they hold the weight of the world

they have bowed heads too, they are also tired

they do not want to clean up thanklessly after others

just like the previous generation

yet they are tired, because they do it too,

and try to explain they they do not have to be the only ones to help

the first flowers fade, wrinkling and fading

tired out, exhausted

they droop to the ground

without mourning save but from the other flowers

just as they fall

more flowers bloom in their place

not picking up the weight of the world,

they have seen the damage it does

they do not want to hurt

they try to convince the other plants and creatures to help,

telling them that the damage won’t be so great

but the others just laugh

After all, why would they pick up, why would they work when they hadn't before?

they wouldn't be hurt either way

it stings, it hurts

so when the last generation dies

there is a frost

everyone suffers

the other plants are mad at the flowers

for not picking up the weight of the world

the flowers are angry, because the other plants will not listen

only cruelly twist their words against them

so when the next flowers appear

the dying second set of flowers tell them not to pick it up

for the other plants will eventually pick up their share

the new flowers won't pick it up,

and they try to explain that everyone needs to help

but the other plants won’t listen

and the cycle repeats, it looks doomed

When will the other plants learn?

Will the flowers ever get a break?

Sonnet

Sonnet to people who won’t wear a mask

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day

For thou art hasn't even a bit of class

You look like an animal that eats hay

Say, thou art even dressed the part,( donkey)

You killed a baboon and stolen it’s face

you're a murderer and uncunning thief

your mother never gave you an embrace

but a mere peek of your face causes grief

You are steadfast to theories of fraud

you use sources from all except science

At logic you have stridently guffawed

doctors receive only your defiance

To the nearest grocery employee

I say: run! covid is a guarantee

4 word poem

444Early thunder webs porch

I woke up early this morning

Packed my bag, took a quick shower,

Stepped onto the webbed porch

Walked down to the nearest train station

The city was already bustling, but in a tired sort of way

I boarded the metro, and dozens of ghostly eyes glanced up,

Haunted by the lack of sleep, decimated by the stresses

Only one pair of them saw me, I knew.

It was myself at a young age

visiting the art museum with my mother and brother

I still remember that trip.

If only my naive self knew what would happen.

What would become of me

What will happen

These Have I Loved

Cars whizzing past my house, blaring the radio, the sharing their snippets of sound

Raindrops dripping down a window,

The smell of baking bread in the oven, and the sizzle of eggs on the stove,

A book by the crackling fire,

Inky calligraphy, a page of scribbles for warming up the ink

Shooting stars speeding by, a gasp and a hundred thousand silent wishes

The stars and the moon, shining bright,

White roses dyed with split stems

Chalk monsters on driveways

Clouds forming and shifting, butterflies flitting between the bushes

Honeysuckle flowers picked and nectar greedily sipped out

Lumps of moss gently placed in potting soil, caringly watered.

666 this is just to say

This is just to say:

I forgot to text you back

I forgot to write the email

I promise I was thinking of you

I promised I haven’t forgotten

I miss you so much

I promise I love you still

I promise I promise I promise

I am thinking of you

I care, but I can’t write the email

I promise I tried

Forgive me

stretched pantoum( I’m sorry 3 stanzas wasn’t enough)

I’m scared/

Another friend drops/

I do not know their name/

Why does nobody notice everyone is falling//

Another friend drops /

My heart beats faster/

Why does nobody notice everyone is falling/

They’re being murdered by the minute//

My heart beats faster/

Why does nobody else see the blue-grey-green murderer/

They’re being murdered by the minute /

It’s holding a bloody hatchet, //

Why does nobody else see the blue-grey-green murderer/

It’s holding their head under water,/

It’s holding a bloody hatchet/

Why do they answer it’s sick questions //

It’s holding their head underwater,/

I KNEW THAT PERSON/

Why did they answer his sick questions/

They’re gone now, never coming home, never coming home//

I KNEW THAT PERSON/

And they’re gone, gone forever/

They’re gone now, never coming home, never coming home/

They were drowned in the fountain//

And they’re gone, gone forever/

With a hatchet in the back/

They were drowned in the fountain/

They were poisoned//

With a hatchet in the back/

They sank to their knees, eyes up to heaven/

They were poisoned/

They had no choice//

5 different ways of looking at the moon

A one-eyed space cat,

Staring with unwavering attention,

Never bothering to shake the glittering dust off its coat

It keeps a silent sigil

A bitten cookie,

Rudely munched on by ants

They didn’t even notice the silver and gold leaf

In their hunger, it was just more food

The cat is growing sleepy

It has been there for millenia

Ever watching, waiting

Why does it stay? What is going to happen?

A teacup,

Left with only the bitter dregs,

Someone forgot to take the teabag out

The last drops are cold and strong

Maybe the cat drank it

A colourful stamp on paint named ”Satin night”

Spotted and not quite perfect

Maybe from a cork

Slammed so hard the paint spattered

And made stars

I remember poem

I remember sticking my hands and head out the car window as we sped down the highway at sunset, speakers resounding our favorite songs on cassette,

Walking around the city with balloons in hand- we had picked them for the other

I remember laying on the rooftop, and you showed me my star sign, and yours, and your favorite constellations and their stories,

And I remember your face when I gave you a strawberry plant that I grew just for you

I remember making our playlist, with all our favorite songs, and it was fun because you tried to add words to the titles to make them funny because

I remember “It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s A Deathwish, Mom” and “Bring Me to Life, Mom”

And I remember your anger when they called me that word.

I had to hold you back to keep you from hurting them.

You flat ironed my hair, and I remember dyeing yours neon green.

I remember slow dancing in our room, with lit scented candles to spotify playlists and McDonald’s ads.

I remember growing ivy on the staircase with you

I remember your smile

4 word sketch poem

Firstborn, whistle, moonlight, strings

The whistle of the first firework,

it screeches up into the dusk.

The strings it releases explode and crackle,

A chorus of gasps and Oohs and Ahs

As the firstborn child sneaks away, unnoticed.

It’s fine, that was their plan anyways.

Fireflies are twinkling, traffic is clogged and congested.

They round the corner, pacing fast but quietly, the way they learned in 5th grade.

The boots make it difficult, so they tiptoe on the narrow strip of grass that lays next to the sidewalk.

They’ve reached their destination: the pharmacy.

It's hard not to attract attention when you’re the only customer in the store.

A few minutes later, they leave, crinkly plastic bag in hand,

Nearly sprinting towards their family.

They’ve only been gone for five minutes, but

The fireworks and the fact that they’re normally quiet has kept their family from alarm.

They sneak back into the circle,

doling out candy to delighted brothers and sisters,

The parents have no idea.

#tah dah #im not sure if this counts as publishing it but whatever #ppl may or may not see it

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youarejesting · 4 years ago

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BTS365 Prompts.Week 48

[Full Masterlist] [Prompt Masterlist] [Tag yourself here]

Please tag me in your work if you use my prompts. I want to see your work. Ever your Jester. Tell me your birthday and I will tag you on your special day!

═══════ ೋღ ღೋ ═══════

Nov 26th - Dec 2nd

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Kim Seokjin - caught

It was strange living with a werewolf, he wasn’t the alpha thank gosh but he was the second in command. He loved you dearly and would protect you but you weren’t like the other mates, they were all werewolves too and they weren’t the most welcoming something about your scent being too sweet and odd to them.

Seokjin had been working all week and you were getting sick of sitting in the library hiding from the girls, opening the window you took a deep breath of fresh air, you slipped out into the garden bed under the window and ducked off into the forest. You passed the guard line and heard the wolves howl. You continued running, there was nothing wrong with the place, it was beautiful and it’s not like you wanted to leave, you just wanted your partner’s attention.

You heard the familiar howl, familiar as the sound pulled at your chest, you knew it was your mate. Seokjin was calling for you worried. You heard the thump of feet closing in and Seokjin pounced landing in front of you. He looked at you panting his eyes concerned and sad and you held out your arms.

He turned back into himself, bare as the day he was born, and wrapped his arms around you. “Please don’t leave me” He whined pulling you tightly against his broad chest.

“I wasn’t leaving, I just wanted to get you all to myself”

Min Yoongi - freestyle

Yoongi on land was lazy but when he hit the water he could move quickly, his form was small meaning he had the agile build to glide through the water. He mostly spent his days sleeping and conserving energy.

“Yoongi the semi-finals are coming up, and you haven’t practiced at all” You hissed wearing your swimsuit. “I am challenging you to a race, if I win you will practice as always and if you win I will shut my mouth and let you rest” He sat up and upped his shirt walking to the edge.

“Come on love, let’s race” He smirked and you stepped up to the podium and the two went on the whistle and raced up and back. You were shocked when you not only lost but lost by a landslide.

“Wait how did you, If you were that good why don’t you practice” Yoongi pulled you underwater pressing his lips to yours and holding you there until you squirmed and broke free to the surface. He emerged with a grin, “now that you have held up your end of the deal, try keeping your voice down, while I sleep or I will have to do that again.”

Jung Hoseok - whoops

Hoseok was playing around with Yoongi, the older gentleman asked him to bring an Iced Americano to the studio and he was holding it above his head teasing him. It was only meant to be a fun little game but when the drink fell on a particularly expensive bit of equipment Hoseok became apologetic immediately searching the internet for where to buy another.

“Hoseok, stop!” Yoongi sighed “It’s fine, just head out and get me another coffee”

“Okay,” The younger man said looking disheartened and ashamed.

Hoseok messaged Jimin to give Yoongi a coffee and he went out of his way heading to music stores and more and looking for the exact copy of the now broken equipment.

“We don’t sell it, that’s and an old piece of technology. All we have are these” the man pointed

“Yoongi is particular he might have preferred the old one,”

“It won’t hurt to try,” The clerk said and Hoseok nodded purchasing the piece and heading up to the studio. He left it at the door with a note.

He rang the doorbell and ran off to watch from behind the potted plant. Yoongi opened the door and looked shocked bending down with wide eyes he read the note and sighed for a moment before he looked at the box, he sat down in the doorway reading the box and opening it on the spot.

Hoseok felt his heart racing he was happy mostly because Yoongi looked like a kid on Christmas. He looked happy.

Kim Namjoon - professor @taetaebq @maddymal

“Professor Kim will be here any moment he is going to be writing about our findings and help us with this majestic creature” The voice was muffled through the glass where you sat the container filled with water and you sat there breathing slowly, you had given up struggling, this container was the equivalent of being buried in a coffin. You would eventually suffocate, the number of oxygen particles in the water would eventually run out.

You laid there accepting fate and they moved you into a building under lights. You were growing sleepy, the oxygen was dwindling, a figure appeared walking in, and the next thing you here is shouting. “How long has she been in there?”

Arms picked you up and you were lowered into the small pool of filtered and oxygenated water, It was like a breath of fresh air, this man was drenched and he looked at you and raised his hands in surrender. He backed up and you hissed.

“I am so sorry, do you speak hangul, English, Spanish, German?” He asked you slowly and you reached up taking his hand and pressing his knuckles to your forehead in thanks. He blushed, the action foreign and a little intimate for him.

Park Jimin - mythology

It was in an antique antique store, where you found an old medallion, it was a dull gold coin embellished with a crescent moon. Thinking it was pretty cute and maybe you could shine it up with a few gentle cleaning products. Purchasing the item you walked back to your hotel, happy with your day of wandering through the city.

You removed your purchases from your bag slipping out of your street clothes you pulled on your swimsuit covering them in an ‘I heart Athens’ t-shirt and fastening the necklace around your neck ready to take the perfect Instagram photo. You passed out from some unknown force, like mental chloroform.

When you did happen to come to, you were laying on a soft bed the breeze was cool and the lace curtains on the four-poster fluttered. Sitting up you were instantly concerned getting up off the bed and heading to the window, when you looked out there was no longer the lights of the city, it was morning and all the shops and hotels were gone. You were atop a mountain, dare you say mount Olympus in a historical looking building or at least a replica.

“Hello, are you feeling okay, my lady?” Turning you were struck by the beauty of this young man, you stepped back alarmed “My name is Artemis” He smiled

“Uh y/n,” you said lamely

He was gentle, helping you get dressed, and leading you to breakfast. Everyone at the table seemed in awe of your beauty and you couldn’t understand why. Though you had read somewhere before if people from the 21st century went back in time they would be deemed insanely beautiful. “You must be Aphrodite reincarnated, you are so beautiful” One man a the head of the table spoke.

It was odd, something was going on, and when you didn’t wake up in your hotel the next morning you realized this wasn’t some dream. Instead waking beside the beautiful Artemis.

It didn’t take long before you realized that it was all real, the myths. They were gods and goddesses’ undying and magical as all the legends told.

It took a few years to adjust to your new life on mount Olympus but you soon came to love it and all the people who lived there. Artemis insisted that you stay in his room and one night whispered to you his name. The one thing that gives a god their power.

Kim Taehyung - rewritten

There was a legend that if you found the secret book hidden in the library and wrote one wish on a page, it would come true. Something you were willing to try but you didn’t know if you would ever be able to find it. Taehyung spent every day trying to find it instead of trying to better his grades. He was searching through the shelves until he found it, somewhere on the top shelf above the biology and anatomy textbooks, he pulled it down waving it in front of your face.

“I am going to make the best wish” He grinned writing down as he spoke, “I want it to skip to when I have a successful job owning a huge company and I have a beautiful wife and everything I ever wanted”

You thought nothing would happen but you were taken somewhere strange by some sort of magical force, you were quick to learn you were working in the art department of the Kim enterprise. You looked around and saw everyone working and he walked into work looking happy but weirded out.

He spotted you and waved you over and you smiled ignoring him and eventually, he called you over. Racing over trying to stay undercover, he pulled you into the office. The two of you were talking, he told you his wish worked and he was in the future but you were unable to tell him that you too were pulled from the past.

“You think I am crazy, it is so nice to see you” He hugged you and someone walked in.

“Taehyung, what is going on here?” A woman said

“Ah, this is my friend from university, we were just catching up” Taehyung grinned

“Hello, Taehyung hasn’t mentioned any friends especially any from University, I am his wife” She outstretched her hand and shook yours a little too tightly.

It was torture and you couldn’t help him, because of this magic wish business wouldn’t let you help but also because you were bullied in the workplace apparently trying to seduce the boss a rumor started by Taehyung’s wife and soon you handed in your resignation and packed up your things. Taehyung was getting sick of it all stressing out and eventually he ran to your apartment and one thing led to another and you two were in bed together.

“I wish I never made the wish that day” He frowned you took a trip to the university and found the book you wrote in it that you wished Taehyung would get a second chance and could live his life from the moment he wrote in the book and you felt the magic work and the two of you landed on the ground you were on top of him and he looked at you, taking your younger face in his hands and kissing you so fiercely.

Jeon Jungkook - memoirs

There was an old book in the addict that the kids were cleaning out in order to create a reading nook with fairy lights and blankets up there. “Hey dad what is this?”

“This is the story your mother wrote before she passed, it is about our life together,” He laughed, reminiscing for a moment about the beautiful woman he fell in love with. He remembered every year and how he loved her more and more as she grew older. “She was a brilliant young woman,”

“Can you read it dad?” His son asked looking up at him and Jungkook could see his and his wife's features woven beautifully into a masterpiece that was their son.

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mrsunderhill678 · 4 years ago

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Oh, shit... Did I write something? Woops, those demons, eh? Always possessing your fingies and making you write.

“I ain't a sinner, ain't a saint, just the result 'a my brother's choice wrapped up in barbed wire and regretful survival, and I wondah, if 'e saw me 'gain, would 'e call me Lazarus? 'E put me down and spected me ta stay, but I ain't da kinda man dat dies so easy.” - Anthony Burningsky

“Lacin' a lie with sugar is da only way ta convince a man ta consume it, mate.” - Anthony Burningsky

“We're all scars, memories and graves, wonderin' a wasteland 'a sin. And I'v found, dat redemption is a small price ta pay when you're wookin' at eternal damnation.” - Anthony Burningsky

“I can't be the only one with a loaded gun, certainties and doubts in every chamber. All I can do is spin the chamber and pray I find certainty and stable ground, but only bullets of doubt and misery pierce my skull and bleed my mind.” - Pryella Burningham

“I'm looking for the map to hope, cause I heard it's a journey, but here I am, fucking lost. In me, in doubt and everything in between, because I fear that with a family tree this sinful, I'm bound to become the very thing that scares me the most. My father.” - Pryella Burningham

“I fear the forest, yet I hide in it's shade, playing my game of Russian Roulette all on my lonesome. The ground shakes beneath me, as if it wishes to swallow me whole. And perhaps, when the dirt brings me into it's maw, and the grass waves above me, and I stand with no tomorrow, no yesterday and no today, is when I'll be at peace. Because with these memories? With these hauntings of my father's yellow smile? I fear death is my only release, and perhaps Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun is the only form of rest I'll ever receive.” - Pryella Burningham

“I have reason, the world has madness, but perhaps that is only my perception of it, slaying he who is mad only giving myself madness in return. If you have reason to your madness you're still mad, after all.” - Weston Sardisco

“This is a war of a different kind, and all I require is a six shooter followed by my wit.” - Weston Sardisco

“I'll lay my hand on the bible and say a prayer for all who lost themselves in the brutality of this world, because I, intend to find them. For I care not who you were, only who you are, and if you see me on the horizon, please, remember, do not bring up your rights, in the midst of all your wrongs. Because one hundred twenty two rights does not make a life time of wrongs, holy.” - Weston Sardisco

“You will sooner find the dirt than my forgiveness, tired sinner.” - Weston Sardisco

“I am a creature of the night, drunk on the light of the moon, dancing under it's harsh glow with the blood of the fallen spilling crimson at my feet.” - Valentin Ogarzia

“Tell me, do you fear the howl or the wolf? The man or the blade? The gun, or the bullet? Or shall you simply fear all? Because I, am a devil, dressed in robes of false silken intentions, but you don't fear the crimson on these robes, for you simply believe them to be threaded embroidery and design.” - Valentin Ogarzia

“I have romanticized the art of murder, and you should fear the man who's built a masterpiece of scarred corpses and slashed throats.” - Valentin Ogarzia

“Beg and plead, wail and confess, every road ends with me. Every life ends with me. I am a moon drunk creature, howling under the blanket of shade and stars, and you should learn, that to fear me, my friend, is a choice, but to die, is not.” - Valentin Ogarzia

“I was born in the shadows of the pine, with the world’s darkness in my mind, wondering how oh how can a man stray from his family tree, when all he could ever do is crawl? But all I did was fall into my own shadow.” - Faustina Cordoba

“If the light from the sun had a choice, it wouldn't shine upon me.” - Faustina Cordoba

“I realized I had to say goodbye to who I was, because that isn’t who I am. Farewell, young man, dapper child, you fought so bravely, but I’ll take the battles from here on out. It's tiring, being who you're not, because you're always actin', and the mask is heavy, cripplin'. So farewell to every past version of myself, you did the best you could, and I'll bleed out for you, if only ta achieve the dreams we've held so dearly but hidden for so long.” - Kadel Smith

“I've spent my life battlin' myself, and though it wasn't 'a war 'a the trenches, or bullets cuttin' the air, it was a war 'a the skin, 'a the mind. As my old pal Duke would say, "It's a daunting task, wrestlin' with oneself," and I suppose I would know the feelin. Cause that's all I's ever done.” - Kadel Smith

“If life is a war, then I've been hit by a dozen bullets, but I'll continue to walk the path with this blood in my lungs and soul, cause though I've spent so long in this world's ugliness, I can still find the beauty all around me. Like the twilight fallin' of snow whilst you're sat with an old friend on two rusted pairs 'a swings. I can find beauty in that, in life, and most importantly, in me.” - Kadel Smith

“To the world, I am cannon fodder, I suppose my purpose is to continue to drop in sprays of red and sorrow, if only for the powerful to charge in leaps and bounds, clapping for all they’ve won, and all we’ve lost. To the powerful, the rich, the world is their home and I'm just an uninvited guest, suppose in a world that doesn't care for the weak, I'll always be God damn trespassing.” - Gabriella Vaxwington

“When I come for you, with my glock, my rage and my mother's eyes, you will see all the fury she hid, you will watch the sky fall and heaven's gates shake like thunder. Cause brother, my mother's up there, with her wings and her pain, and when your blood spills on the dirt, the angels will fuckin' sing, cause my ma weren't meant ta join their ranks by your hand. But you? You're meant to join the devil, by MY, hands, and that, is fate. Or 'ow did you put it? Karma always pays her dues, and I suppose that makes me, karma.” - Gabriella Vaxwington

“Execution, the act of killing a man for a damning transgression, sometimes it takes a guillotine, or a bullet point blank range, but usually, all it takes is a single word.” - Beautler De Niro

“You can get any barking dog to bite if you threaten it's existence or the life of another, and any man in anonymity will commit the egregious deeds they'd never dream of while under the spotlight. All you have to do to put a man under your control is to put him in the dark, take a dog's feeding bowl and he'll bite anyone for a morsel, all but the hand that feeds him.” - Beautler De Niro

“You give a man half truth and he'll dive through hell to find the other half, even if it means he must burn.” - Beautler De Niro

“I am an untrustworthy man, but anyone will trust a man with a firm handshake and the same opinion as they. Trust is so easy to gain in a world of fools and cheats.” - Beautler De Niro

“All who stand up to me, fall, because they trust too easy and crumble upon the truth revealing who the villain was all along. But I propose to them a single question, if it was you who trusted the man who undid you, then who's hands was it dropping the guillotine's rope? Him, or your falsely placed trust?” - Beautler De Niro

“I do not enjoy the fight nor the battle, and though I end up victorious, it brings grief to he who loses. I would rather not fight, I would much rather offer a helping hand, but life tells me not to. It shoves a rifle in my hand and says, "By God, Bertil, by God, pull the trigger and spare yourself a moment of grief!" But I never can, not when my bullets indirectly harm those I never aimed for.” - Bertil O’Day

“To a paranoid man, every word spoken is a crime against God, and every dead end is a cliff-side. Some men pray, other's drink, me? I sit here, in my little corner 'a nowhere, and I leave well enough alone.” - Theodore Holymann

“How terrible, to ruin someone's life with your memory.” - Theodore Holymann

“I'm guilty, with cuffs round my wrists and a rope 'round my throat, so oh gravedigger, pull the lever and watch me swing, cause I'm sure as all the air leaves my lungs the last thing I'll hear is a melody 'a cheers for the damned preacher.” - Theodore Holymann

“I'm paranoid, terrified that my past'll catch up to me God damn swingin. And maybe these days, I'd take the hit and drop.” - Theodore Holymann

“Oh heavenly father above, give me salvation or death, either way I rest.” - Theodore Holymann

“Someone took a dagger to this silk heart of mine, and I guess I'm nothing but a torn curtain, these days, only small rays of light passing through me.” Alice Sharenburg

“Who would've imagined, with our Halloween masks and toy guns, that we'd be marching into war? How could it have been, that in all our childhood wonder, we found darkness?” - Alice Sharenburg

“Draw the curtains, kill the fucking lights and let us bow to the crowd. Throw your roses and cheer for the lost boys and girls, but in the end, as the story wraps up in tragedy, just remember.... When the curtains draw, and the lights dim... That's all, folks.” - Alice Sharenburg

“I stand sturdy, smelling of ash and smoke, but zis is no after affect of var. I vas destroyed by no fire of war, but a fire of ze heart, a fire wrought with passion and love. I allowed it to consume me, to burn my whole state of being and make me anew.” - Gregory Kizerfretzen

“Vhen it scares jou to jour very core, and jou feel it in jour heart, zat's vhen you know it's real. Because as long as you haz love, and as long as you haz family, blood, or no blood, var can nezah vin.” - Gregory Kizerfretzen

“Oh fazah, I know I followed ze path jou would never want for me, but I followed in jour blood-stained footprints, and I learned ze same lesson jou did. Ve are all human, even if we stand on ze opposing side.: - Gregory Kizerfretzen

“Someone once told me, that when your demons are silent, listen for your angels. But what do ya do when all ya hear is radio static and your sins echoed in the buzz?” - Octavio Claytor

“I held onto my faith, but I guess I got butterfingers, cause my faith, my sense of self and my love tumbled from my fingers like ash and cinders.” - Octavio Claytor

“God ain't dead, he just damn well ain't here.” - Octavio Claytor

“Only the dead know a glory greater than the gods.” - Alistair Von Alisworth

“A king will always find himself crushed under the weight of his decisions unless he has blood black enough to make them.” - Alistair Von Alisworth

“Stand up to me, try to steal this crown reigning over my head, but all you'll ever find is that the crown was never intended for good men. The crown is for those who can handle it, the crown is for those who will enjoy the lives ended to earn it. I am death, and for all those who rise up, I am here to deliver.” - Alistair Von Alisworth

“Perhaps every church is Eden, there's bound to be shade somewhere between the flowers.” - Alders Holymann

“My heart's been capsized, and it ain't rowing to shore these days. I pray, and I pray for a rowboat, but all God ever gives me is a single broken paddle. What am I to do when all the signs lead to death?” - Alders Holymann

“God, please forgive me for doubting you, I pray and I pray, but the only answer I get are my own thoughts. Is that all a prophet ever hears? I say amen, I say grace, but all I hear is the emptiness in my heart. I fear I never heard God, it was only ever me.” - Alders Holymann

“I wear this cross around my neck and it's become a rope, stealing all my air.” - Alders Holymann

“My lord, my loving father above, I ask one question. Is it better to be crushed under the weight of your trembling faith, or to go forth with no faith at all?” - Alders Holymann

“Rev this motorcycle, and send me spiralin' down the damn highway, cause if I'm meant ta crash, so fuckin' be it. Give me a grave by the road, give me a wreath and a name etched onta wood, so long as I'm underneath the dirt, hearin' the engines roar and the traffic stand still. Cause brother, my whole life's been on the road, 'spose ta me, the revvin' 'a the engine and the screech 'a the wheels is a symphony. My own broke symphony 'a burnin' track and dead ends.” - Alessandro Bones

“I live life on repeat these days, the same mile, day in, day out. And once I close my eyes, I put my engine in reverse, and wake up at the beginnin' 'a the damn highway, preparin' to rev my engines for a single mile, yet again. I don't trust myself ta go a mile further, I'd have ta face myself, and with all that anger and regret, I'd fear he'd gun me right the fuck down. I deserve it, anyway. But I ain't never had the courage to go careenin' off the side 'a this road. Don't got the courage to die burnin', prayin' ta every God. All I want, is ta die quiet in the night, empty bottle in my hand, nuthin' but a mess 'a blankets and sheets on the damn bed.” - Allesandro Bones

“I am lost, travelin' the same mile, again, and a God damn gain, cuz it's the only path I can take without resistance. And I fear resistance, cause that means a fight, and that's all I's ever done. Give me no more riots 'a the self, give me no more wars 'a the road, give me peace, or give me death.” - Allesandro Bones

“I've always told myself I was Rumpelstiltskin, spinning hay into gold, but alas, alas, the old crone has fooled himself, and he only spins hay into more hay while Rumpelstiltskin dances and laughs, holding in his arms the old crone once had.” - Peragrin Hufflesburg

“We've only ever fooled ourselves, it's funny how other's can catch our lies but we can never catch the ones we tell ourselves.” - Peragrin Hufflesburg

“If I had a dollar for every time I prayed and got an honest to God answer, I'd be begging on the fucking streets.” - Peragrin Hufflesburg

“I ask to be forgiven, but why? What would being forgiven do for those I have hurt? Would they look at me and say, "Oh, look at that changed man, his hay has turned to gold and his sin to faith!" Or would they simply pull the trigger?” - Peragrin Hufflesburg

“I sit here with my wheel, spinning all this hay, praying one day, I'll have a pile of gold. But all I ever do is drown in more God damn hay.” - Peragrin Hufflesburg

“We're stars shining in the night sky, lighting up the dark knowing we too, one day will end, we'll implode upon ourselves as stars do. But perhaps, it isn't the end of the journey that matters, but the miles we walk.” - Melinda Myers

“Life can be pain, it can be cruel, but there's strength to be found in that grief.” - Melinda Myers

“I've spent my life surrounded by love, my two sons are the light of my life, they're my stars in the night sky, and I know it's my job to watch over them. To implode before them. But perhaps I'll create a galaxy in my wake, and whenever they look to the sky, and see the stars and the beautiful silence of the night, they'll smile.” - Melinda Myers

“If he's a sinner for loving that man, then let me have a talk with God. Because if someone can look at a love that beautiful, and say, "God condemns you," then they need to realize, they condemn them, God, does not.” - Melinda Myers

“If ever I returned to those I love they would call me changeling, fearing that the fairies had stolen me away in the night and swapped me with an eldritch beast that knew only the vileness of nature. But oh, can't you see? I'm crawling, ever crawling, with broken fingers and battered knees, scraping against the bloodied flowers and roses of all I'll ever be.” - Richard Notorangelo

“Legends are realities we forgot, often twisted by those in power so the common folk fear what was never real. Does that make me a myth? Or another victim of it?” - Richard Notorangelo

“I met evil when I was only a child, and oh, how I wish it hadn't been me.” - Richard Notorangelo

“My daughter, oh my beautiful little girl, if ever I crawl my way out of this garden, this maze of my own lies, throw me back in. For it's what I deserve. Shout at me, throw me to the fairies from whence I came, for I fear I am a changeling, a twisted shadow of myself, vile and cruel, sick and diseased.” - Richard Notorangelo

“I do not deserve death, for that is peace. With all this blood on my hands and these wicked deeds in my memory, I imagine, the single thing I deserve, is life.” - Richard Notorangelo

“In the end we're all by ourselves, no one follows us into the dark, not even our shadow dares.” - Tricia Jenefine

“I can't remember the intricacies of her smile, the melody of her laugh, or the beat of her heart when I laid my head on her chest. I was hers' and she was mine. Not only do I miss her, I miss the parts of myself that left with her. My heart is a wisp without her, she was supposed to be my eternity, but now life is a curse, without her.” - Tricia Jenefine

“I could have a roof over my head and the rain would still find a way in.” - Tricia Jenefine

“The only pieces of me that remain are the parts that remember her, and the parts that remember pain.” - Tricia Jenefine

“When the sun forgets to shine on you, and your shadow slinks back to it's kin, all you have is yourself and the memories that once brought smiles, but will only ever bring tears.” - Tricia Jenefine

“I'm the damsel, the dragon and the knight, and some day, I'll burn myself to cinders.” - Priscilla Sage

“I am a witch on the stake and the farmer with a torch, perhaps I too, am the flame. Of hatred, of grief, of pain, no matter what I am made of I still end only in ashes.” - Priscilla Sage

“Perhaps one day, I'll be free of myself, perhaps one day I shall be the raven, soaring through the air, singing my own happy song. And though no one but the sun shall hear me, perhaps she'll smile down at me. If only I could feel the wind rush past me as I leave everything behind. Oh how I would love to be free. But I am a cage, and what can I do when I don't have the key?” - Priscilla Sage

“I am rottin' bark and fallin' leaves, I flutter ta the soil as if it weren't my demise, and oh how I wonder why it is, always am I crushed 'neath the damn boot.” - Levina Rainbolt

“We're all guilty in some way, that's life. We lie, we cheat and we steal, but we love a helluva lot better than we hate.” - Levina Rainbolt

“Perhaps I am rottin' bark and fallin' leaves, perhaps I've been crushed under the boot more times than I can count. But I've found, that whenever I fall ta the soil, someone I love picks me up, and puts me in their favorite story book. Perhaps it ain't bout how many times ya fall, maybe it's bout who picks ya back up everytime.” - Levina Rainbolt

“I will stand at the edge of my doom and leap. From these heights I shall fall until it is my demise I receive, because it's all I deserve.” - Albus Kirk

“I am wrapped and bound in silken secrets and forbidden treasures, speaking from the tongue of a mad man, for only a mad man hides secrets from himself.” - Albus Kirk

“I could compare myself to a beast, I could give you metaphors, I could give you lies. But at the end of the day, I'm human and mad, it's what makes me so ugly and twisted, I suppose.” - Albus Kirk

“My father always told me I was meant for great things, I would build fortunes but all I built was my own misfortune.” - Albus Kirk

“We're trapped in Pandora's box, and perhaps, we're the horror they wish to keep at bay. We're a plague, an illness, but we poison ourselves. This world we live in is quite simply put, Pandora's box, harboring the horror and shade others wish not to deal with. We are the price of tranquility for others, our suffering is the price they paid to forever live in peace. We are the soldiers, we are the sheep walking to the butcher, we are the testing subjects and the victim. We are a price, meant only to be paid. So what can we ever do, but stand at the edge of our doom and leap?” - Albus Kirk

“I am the one who pulls the trigger, the one who knocks on your door and gives you only the gift of death. Peace is a double edged blade, my friend, for with true peace, comes death. And I am simply here to give you, true peace.” - Palazzo Bullet

“Most men live and die in a single day, they stay stagnant, they're a grave before they've ever stopped walking.” - Palazzo Bullet

“You should fear the man dressed in black, who has your grave freshly dug, gun in one hand, bible in the other.” - Palazzo Bullet

“Look up to the sky one last time as the dirt covers you. Pray to the fucking stars. All they'll do is continue to shine, because the world never needed you. Watch from heaven as the sun rises, without you, and watch as it sinks. Because you, aren't important, and the world simply goes on, without you.” - Palazzo Bullet

“So dance, my marionette, twist and spin, avoiding the bullets coming your way. Stay focused on the threat at hand, only to realize you weren't saving your life. You were saving it for me.” - Palazzo Bullet

“You can never stain the river crimson, the stream always runs itself clear. Life goes on, it always does, the sun sinks, the moon rises, but we still have light.” - Jameth Waterbrood

“War does not bring peace, it brings pain. A battle does not make heroes, it makes survivors. The only true thing that can bring peace, is love.” - Jameth Waterbrood

“I intend to live life as if I was meant to, because perhaps, our destiny was never grand, maybe our destiny was never war, or some higher purpose. Perhaps, our destiny was always to simply live, love, and be loved. Because that, no matter what way you put it, is a destiny worth fighting for, a destiny worth laughing for, and a destiny worth living for.” - Jameth Waterbrood

“You can think yourself high and mighty, king 'a the hill and master 'a the crop, but there's always a man willin' ta take you down. Cause there ain't nuthin' mightier than the man who watches the crown tumble from the head of the king but doesn't take the throne. The strongest message 'a all is ta kill a man, and give no reason.” - Justice Hansell

“You, my friend, are the cigarette, I'll crush you under my boot once you've lost my interest. The echoes of wolves echo in my heart, their howls ricochet in my ribcage, I am a beast by heart, and you should fear the man standin' at his own grave. Cause he don't fear death. Which means he don't fuckin' fear you.” - Justice Hansell

“My threats are promises I keep, and I fear if you try ta snag this crown from my head, all you'll find is one 'a my promises ripped inta fruition.” - Justice Hansell

“You can't swim 'gainst my tide, you will drown far before you ever reach the source 'a your damn misery.” - Justice Hansell

“I just want the rights of my corpse, to be free, to be still, to be me, to be me, to be me. But all I've learned, is that a millions scars makes me the man I'm not.” - Rin Otishiro

“My father always said hard work always pays off, good friends never grow old, and good always prosper, and oh how I wish that was true. Because my hard work has led to pain, every good friend I had is a corpse, and the good never prospered.” - Rin Otishiro

“The good ol' days vanish when the bad times come, how can I smile, when every good memory I had, is tainted with the tragic outcome that followed?” - Rin Otishiro

“Why the hell do we fear the dark when all the monsters stand in the light? They don't fucking hide anymore, man. They've come from the shadows and claimed the light.” - Rin Otishiro “I guess I've always lived just between the valley of death and the shadows of my past.” - Rin Otishiro

“You wanna know me? Walk a mile in my shoes, but don't you dare walk two, because you don't want to see what I've been through.” - Rin Otishiro

“The past exists to remind us that we’re not there anymore, we’re here, and that’s what matters.” - Renna Forbes

“My aunt has always said, she doesn't pick favorites, and maybe that's because in love, there is no favorites. Love doesn't choose who it touches, it doesn't envy those who hold more of it. It just is. It always forgives and it doesn't remember wrongs. It just exists despite the overbearing weight.” - Renna Forbes

“Cut out my heart and serve it on a silver platter for all who wish to choke on its' darkness.” - Mortley Dekruiful

“One day you'll learn there are more miles of darkness than there are stars, just because there is light, does not mean the darkness has not won.” - Mortley Dekruiful

“I am a clown, the lion leaping through the ring of fire, fearing the burns he may receive on his pelt. I, am a man of the circus, a sinner at heart, and though we are all sinners, not many take it to a higher degree.” - Mortley Dekruiful

“I fear myself, no thoughts nor prayers could save me, for if they can't save those I've killed, why should they save me?” - Mortley Dekruiful

“If I were to serve my heart on a silver platter to myself, would I choke and sputter on the shade? Would I finally be able to swallow this darkness within?” - Mortley Dekruiful

“All I can ever do is crawl away from the spotlight whilst it burns my back, and pray that the shade will bring me what little refuge it can. At least it is less blinding, but alas, just as cruel.” - Mortley Dekruiful

“We are our own beasts, and we bow to no man.” - Bortley Dekruiful

"Maybe life is a series of consequences good and bad, or maybe I'm just blind to all the dark. I don't know. All I know, is that we're only human, and placing blame only gets fingers pointed in the wrong damn direction." - Jake Bonefire

"My silence has been a chamber for too long." - Jake Bonefire

"Gods above, witness my blood spill, hear my prayers, for if the afterlife, is a cell, I, am the key." - Starburden Vaganbrok

"All it takes is one bad day, and I intend to give you a year of them in a matter of hours." - Hugo Valritten

"They say life is whatever we make it, they pump their fists in the air and cry, "We are in control of our own destinies! We are our own fate!" But then they look men like me in the eye, they laugh in my face and they say, "Get off the tracks, boy. This is a revolution, and you're in our damn way." - Corvo Crinklewick "Da hares wage war against da dogs and ask why dey are losing." Brickylda Hildengarde

"Peace and death are not the same thing." - Gunhild Brokldottir "Ow am I ta be 'eard if my screams sink to da bottom 'a my silence?" - Archie Upperton

"I'm just the same, brother, just because I was a dream, damn well don't mean I can't be a nightmare." - Zafavri Holts

"This is my end, Madusius? I believe you mistook my beginning for my reckoning, my rebellion for my downfall. You're a tyrant, and I suppose I'm the snake that crumbles the Garden of Eden." - Dayvella Ma'Vayar

“Get away with it? My boy, no one in history has ever gotten away with it! Jack the ripper's name is tarnished, Julius Caesar lies dead with a thousand knife wounds in his back! We're all doomed, creatures vying for a throne no one can ever have. I'm not here, to get away with it. I'm here, to go down in history.” - Madusius Crudelis

"I shoot and stride for the throne, I am the king above kings, the man above God. I, in of myself, am a dynasty, both a relic and the future, an idea, that cannot be killed." - Madusius Crudelis

"You, can crush, my dynasty, but you can never, destroy the idea of it." - Madusius Crudelis

"You can run from your debts, my friend, but you cannot run from me." - Lorcan O'Venefrives

"Nothing good was ever done by force." - Mortley Dekruiful

"They say you are dead to me Rolf, you are dead. But I say, I am alive, I am alive! And isn't that what frightens you?" - Rolf Lambs

"I look inside me, and see a devil's dog, howlin' at the darkest side of his own moon." - Zafavri Holts "The sun ain't gonna rise for you buddy, you just watched it sink one last time only for you to fade along with it." - Eddy Lambs

"We're in the circus, dancing, jerking and twisting away from the spotlight because the shade was always more comforting than the blinding light." - Mortley Dekruiful

"You will face a thousand tragedies before the sun fucking rises, and you ain't lucky enough for your death ta be one of em." - Zafavri Holts

"I, am where myth starts, and legend begins, but you, my friend, are where history starts." - Defforest Van Patten

"Life will hang ya from a tree and call ya three heads taller simply cause your feet are three feet off the damn ground." - Sampson O'Connel "Soldiers? Soldiers?! We're the civilians of a foreign country hiding from the fucking gunfire! But they don't care, brother, they don't FUCKING care! They'll drag us out anyway. To a firing squad, everyone is cattle." - Burasbley Highersman

#writing #author #characters #dialouge

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nonsensicalobsessions · 5 years ago

Text

apogee/perigee

“What do you want, Tom? Before the gods, I just don’t know anymore.”

Tom looked at her eyes and knew he had to choose his words very carefully. Everything was balanced upon them, and he never felt so pressured, so tongue-tied. He’d stood on countless stages, in front of thousands, but never felt the weight of words laying so heavily upon him as they did now.

“I want...I want...”

Her eyes were patient, as they always were. She wouldn’t hurry him, nor would she be scornful. She would wait for his answer, but he also knew that she had reached her limit with his vagaries. Her heart, as giving as it was, could strain no further.

“I want to be loved as a man, and only as a man. Not as how I am packaged, or as I am presented.”

“I am not naive. I know what the gossip sites say, how I am described on fan sites and webpages. Yes, I admit it, I have googled myself, I did get drunk once and went onto Tumblr, and looked up the stories that have been written about me. I suppose I should be flattered, but in truth, they made me horrified...after I read a few, I was so ill, I had an anxiety attack so fierce i could barely move.”

Part of Tish wanted to laugh. the thought of Tom peeking into Tumblr, or the fan fiction writing sites, made her wanted to throw her head back and howl until her sides ached. She could only imagine the expressions that would have crossed his face, oh, to have been a fly on the wall...but the larger part of her, the better part of her nature, was disturbed to think of her friend, her lover, the man who held her heart and soul (sometimes so carelessly, it seemed) having an anxiety attack.

Against her will, she leaned forward, and took his hand and clasped it in hers. “What upset you so badly? Can you talk about it? Would it help?”

He pulled away from her and the comfort she was trying to provide as he began to pace, pulling at his hair. “Have you ever been to any of those sites? They’ve built me up to be...some sort of a romantic hero, a sexual paragon! They’ve done everything but measure my cock, Tisha, and while I admit some of my wardrobe choices in the past, in combination with some particular photographs have made things...well...” he winced as he rubbed the back of his neck and licked his lips a few times. “Let’s just say they weren’t well thought out.

“But Tish? I cannot live up to those expectations. I do not walk around spouting Shakespeare at any given moment, I cannot have sex for hours upon hours on end, and cannot guarantee anyone... these...women and men...multiple orgasms...in multiple positions, some of which I am convinced would put me in traction...!”

Tish fought very hard to keep a calm, objective, yet sympathetic expression on her face. While the conversation was not going as she expected it to, it was shedding some light on the difficulties they were experiencing in their relationship.

She still had to work very hard to keep from smirking. Because in many cases, she was convinced Tom knew exactly what he was doing. He knew he was an attractive man, he knew he photographed well, and he did everything the photographers told him to do. If that mean eye-fucking the camera, well then by God he did everything but grab a condom. Because he was good at it, it helped his career, and let’s be honest—he liked it. And if the enormity of his success was a bit frightening, the fervor of his fans a bit shocking? See above. Lather, rinse repeat.

And gods above knew he wasn’t a fame whore. He valued his privacy, and behaved accordingly. But when he was out and about to promote whatever project he was attached to...? As he aged, he wasn’t all about seducing the camera, but now it was worse: it was his raw passion for the project itself that radiated.

Women around the world were so used to tepid masculinity, she mused. Caught up in their numbers, their business, their bottom lines, their emails and their phones. Then this Adonis comes along and speaks with fire and energy about truth and beauty and honesty in art and literature and relationships...and his audience simply laid down in droves.

And for some reason that defied all logic, all reason, all the fates and karmic justice in the universe, this man, this insanely handsome, gifted, talented actor, this man, found her interesting. Began a friendship, then a relationship with her.

They became lovers, and although it might not have been everything that he read about online, she certainly wasn’t complaining or left wanting on that score. He was tender and passionate by turns, and certainly very skilled and considerate in the bedroom. Or any room, Tom wasn’t picky.

Tom continued, oblivious to her thoughts. “I want to love as foolishly and recklessly as a schoolboy, without care of how it may be judged and consequences be damned. Which is about as likely as the sun rising in the west. I am not going to howl at the moon, I know what I gave up to have my career...but knowing the price of something doesn't always mean you know what it will cost.”

Abruptly, he stopped, and looked at the tiny woman who was curled up in his window seat.

Really looked at her, and her voice echoed in his head:

What do you want, Tom? Before the gods, I just don’t know anymore.

He saw once again her patience, but also saw the sadness that she was wearing like a cloak, stooping her shoulders, diminishing the light he had admired in her eyes.

Like a video on fast forward, images of their relationship flew through his mind—their first meeting, he was preoccupied, and in a hurry, without an entourage, and he burst through a door without pause or thought of who might be on the other side, literally sending the small woman flying as she was juggling her bag, tea, and satchel on the other side while she was trying to open it. The corner of the door struck her cheekbone and brow bone, and she’d struck her head, hard, on the way down. He’d been horrified, insisted on her going to hospital for X-rays. Luke had been apoplectic when he heard how Tom had literally scooped her up, poured her into her car, and broken several very important traffic laws to get the then-nameless woman to the closest A&E, arriving a babbling, panic-stricken mess.

She’d ended up with “only” a black eye. And once she got over the shock of being knocked over, almost knocked out, as well as virtually abducted, she was a great deal more composed than Tom. She refused to allow him to take any responsibility for the event, reminding him “doors open both ways.”

He was the one, though, who ended up falling head over heels, and staying that way.

She was bright, and laughing, and at first, they were two suns, delighting in each other’s warmth.

But Tom’s orbit was wide, and his path swift. He would swing past her in dizzying arcs. She understood it. Accepted it.

What should could not understand, or accept, was being left behind in his thoughts, and his heart. And as night follows day, he saw it happen, in retrospect, over and over again. He went to this Fashion Week in New York, that awards ceremony in Tokyo, and more, and more. He didn’t ask her to accompany him. She had her job, her life. She simply couldn’t drop everything to follow where the cosmic winds would sweep him next. Hell, half the time he didn’t know from month to month until some thing, some opportunity, dropped in his lap, and he would be mad not to follow it with his trademark smile.

And so a visit became a video call, a call became a text.

And a text...didn’t happen at all.

He would rationalize it away, “Oh, she’s asleep. I don’t want to disturb her. She works so hard...I know well how hard, she needs her rest.”

What he didn’t know was how lightly she’d be sleeping, if she slept at all, as she kept checking her phone, waiting for it to vibrate in her hand...and then waking to dried tear tracks on her cheeks. Castigating herself for being such a doormat. Wondering when she had allowed herself to become so weak.

After the first such circuit, he returned home, expecting to find a welcoming smile and a warm embrace. He found instead a cautious, wary expression, and an honest, frank discussion.

No tears. No recriminations, no passive aggressive sighs or comments. Just an open talk on how she felt forgotten, and devalued.

Tom was appalled. He recognized what had happened, how he had behaved abominably, and threw himself at her mercy. Begged her forgiveness. Implored her to understand it was never his intent, he was simply stretched so thinly, there were only so many hours in the day, and he never, ever, thought of any other woman.

Tish saw his contrition and knew it was genuine. She took a deep breath, declared him forgiven, and laughed when he exuberantly picked her up and spun her in a circle, then kissed her breathless.

“You take away my breath, truly,” he assured her. “Allow me to keep returning the favor?” When she agreed, he bore her straight off to bed, where he kept her for the next three days. Fed her, bedded her, snuggled and cuddled her, beguiled her and spun her head so thoroughly it was a mercy there was a set of holidays she had already taken, for she declared she was completely lost in a universe that had yet to be discovered.

The world at large did not know about her, and she was fine with that. They went places together, but usually arrived and left separately, and Luke was fine with that.

And then, he spun off again, after their wonderfully intense, but rather brief interlude.

And slowly, but surely, the problems began to creep into their orbit once more.

But this time, there were photos...and videos...of him with other women. Other colleagues, other costars, other women who were very quick to make it clear they found him attractive, desirable, and they were very willing to help him in any way he desired.

Tom was always the perfect gentleman, but...he was a man. And she could see when his eyes would light up if something or someone captured his attention...and even if he never acted upon it, she could still see the interest that was there.

While she was here.

There had never been any words spoken about creating a future together. Nothing for her to build a foundation on...and she knew, then, she couldn’t continue. As much as she cared for him, she couldn’t build castles in the clouds, only to see them get blown away any more.

So once again, he returned home, although this time, he too was more tempered in his enthusiasm. He knew better than to expect her to come running to him, and jump into his arms, as much as he wanted to run and throw himself into hers. When he sent her his return flight information, he asked her if she could be there to greet him. She in turn replied if instead, he would come to her flat.

“I’ll have everything waiting for you,” she’d offered.

“Would you come to mine instead?”

Reluctantly, she agreed.

He knew what that meant.

It meant if he wasn’t very, very careful, what was waiting for him was goodbye.

She arrived with wine. He was met with a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes, but he could tell she was trying. As soon as the door was safely shut behind her, he took the bottle from her as he took her into his arms.

“Hello, Tom,” she sighed. He was known for his hugs, and she was fighting the magnetic pull that was threatening to overwhelm her resolve.

He opened his mouth to speak, but then thought better of it. Instead, he simply kissed her hair. “I missed you so,” he whispered.

When she didn’t reply right away, he pulled away to look searchingly into her face. “What? I did,” his voice both pained and defensive. “Did you not miss me?”

Her hand stroked his cheek gently. “Tom, I missed you every moment, every hour, of every day,” she answered.

He knew she didn’t lie, and her eyes were sincere. She stood on tiptoe and stretched as far as she could to kiss him. He let her lead the intimacy level, and when she simply brushed her lips against his, his heart sank even further.

He took her hand and led her to the kitchen, where she made the appropriate sounds of pleasure. “Tom, you’ve only been back a short while, you should not have gone through any trouble.”

“I wanted to do something I thought would make you smile, but it looks like I missed the mark,” he replied quietly.

She squeezed his hand, and looked up into his eyes.

And smiled.

“You succeeded. Let’s eat.”

Because she knew him well, she had him talking easily about his adventures and regaling her with jokes and had her laughing. But after awhile, he noticed how very little she had volunteered about her life while he was away the past weeks, and he kicked himself once more.

“Please, Tish. Talk to me. You’ve barely said two words about yourself since you’d arrived. Have we come to this, then?”

Tish had carried the plates to the sink, over his objections, and they had fallen into their usual, easy pattern of her washing, and his drying, before he had cracked. Her hands went limp in the soapy water, and carefully, he pulled them out.

She faced him, her face as pale as the lacy suds that trimmed her wrists. “I wrote you, Tom, lots of emails...maybe only sent you a fraction of them. I’ve had a difficult time, when you were gone.”

He searched her expression. “It wasn’t the media, certainly? Tish, you know, you know, I’ve told you how it’s all garbage, made-up bullshit...”

She pulled away from him, dried her hands on the tea towel, and nodded. “Yes, you’ve told me, Tom, and I do know.”

“Then what is it...don’t walk away from me, Letitia, please do me the courtesy of not turning your back, at least!”

She turned her head so he could see her in profile. “I am sorry, Tom. My feet and back are killing me, I just want to sit down.”

Helplessly, he watched as she sat in the nearby window seat, where there was no room for him to join her. He sat back at the kitchen table, and rubbed the back of his neck as he asked, “Why are you hurting so much, darling?”

She looked at him and replied, “I told you, in my emails, I’ve been putting in very long hours at work, and I guess it’s catching up with me.”

He rapidly reread her missives in his mind, every line.

Then he read between them.

“No, oh no...” he groaned. “They didn’t...they wouldn’t...”

“They would and they did,” she replied, her smile brittle and for once completely insincere. “They let me go, Tom. To be fair, I was the last of the old regime in place, but I’d hoped, I’d thought if I worked hard enough, they’d see the value in keeping me on...”

“You loved your job,” Tom spoke his dismay aloud, realizing a split second too late he was not helping matters.

Tish bent her head, her long, chestnut hair hiding her from his view. “I did, but it was just a job. Wasn’t a career or anything. There will be others...”

In a flash, Tom was kneeling at her feet. “Stop that. You were damned good at what you did, and you were making a difference. An important difference...”

“Tom, stop it! I worked as a nurse associate...”

“...in an incredibly stressful, demanding children’s hospital unit. You loved those children, Tish. They felt safe with you. Parents felt safe knowing their children were in your care when they were at work. And even though I never got the opportunity to see for myself...Tish? Tish, please look at me...I know those children loved you, too.”

“And how would you know this, Tom,” she softly huffed, trying to hide her tears.

“Because you are you. How could they not?” He wiped the ones that escaped with the pads of his thumbs.

“Because I know I do. Love you, that is.”

And so, Tish looked into Tom’s eyes, and asked him:

“What do you want, Tom? Before the gods, I just don’t know anymore.”

And it struck him, as he’d been talking in circles, he was speaking to her but getting no closer to getting to the center of what she asked him...

“Tom, I believe you can have all of those things...but I don’t think you can have them with me.”

He felt the tectonic plates in his heart crack and the beginning of a cataclysmic pole shift as his world teetered on its axis.

“Why not, Tish? Why not?”

She leaned forward and gently butted her head against his. “Because the world wants to belong to you, Tom. You have a gravitational pull all your very own. People talk of you being a star, but I see you as the sun, with so much warmth to give, radiating joy and happiness...You have success, you have a career, you have staff, for gods’ sake, and you have an amazing heart to go with it all. Everything and everyone revolves around you.

“I have spent nights waiting for your calls. Your texts. And when they didn’t come, I realized I had a choice to make. I could be one of the many spinning in orbit around you...or I could blow you a kiss for luck, and break free, in the hopes of finding someone that maybe, just maybe, wanted to belong to me, and we could revolve around each other. Create our own family, in time, and we could expand our own universe...”

As she spoke, her fingers absently played in his hair, catching and smoothing his curls by turn, caressing him. Her hands were very good at speaking for her, with her.

Tish scarcely noticed when he drew his head into her waist, and buried his face there. If it wasn’t for the slight tremor in his broad shoulders, she might not have noticed it when she did, and the faint dampness that was seeping through her blouse to touch her skin.

“Tom?”

Stricken, she tried to pull back, but he would not allow it, and kept his arms firmly wrapped around her.

“Please.” His voice was muffled and shaky. “Please, give me one more chance. The world can do as it damn well wishes...but I...I want to be that one...I want to belong to you...”

“Tom, you’re tired, and you’re upset. I’m upset as well, I do care for you. I love you, but you can’t...”

He reared back, his eyes red and watery. “No, Tish. You don’t get to tell me how I feel. You say I am the sun, but...I say you are the moon.”

“A cold, dead, barren, hunk of rock only ever seen through a reflection of your light but otherwise invisible to all?” She lifted an eyebrow and pulled a lock of hair.

He reached up and pulled a strand in return, unable to repress a chuckle. “No, smart-ass. A heavenly body that has its own real gravitational pull, and lets me know when I’ve gone too far from shore, and also lets me know when it is time to rest. I am no star, but just a man, residing on this planet, remember?”

“You said you don’t go off spouting Shakespeare.”

“That wasn’t.”

They looked at each other in silence.

“Tom, you are tired.”

“I am. You said that you love me.”

“And I do. I have for some time.” Her hand kept stroking his scalp. “You should get some rest.”

“I...that is, would you...”

Tish smiled, a real one, reaching her eyes and her lips as she waited. She never rushed him.

“Would you stay with me tonight?”

She nodded, a little nervously. “I didn’t bring anything with me, I didn’t think—”

Tom interrupted her, “If it’s all the same, I’d rather not know what your thoughts were for tonight.” He was grimly validated by the flush he saw build from her neckline.

“No matter.” He pulled himself up, then extended a hand to her. “I am looking forward to sleeping in your arms tonight, sweetheart.”

As they ascended the stairs, fingers entwined, Tish asked, “Come to think of it, doesn’t Shakespeare have some pretty unkind things to say about the moon..? Don’t most poets, do in fact, find it a symbol of inconstancy?”

“Not always, my darling. And you have been ever constant. You’re thinking too hard, just as you’ve been working too hard. Let your mind rest. I promise you, you don’t have to be anxious now.”

“But...”

“You don’t.”

“I...”

“Letitia.” He led her into the bedroom. “Let it go. I am here, and you are here.”

As they curled themselves around the other, each exhausted physically and emotionally, Tom murmured, “You are the star to my wandering bark.”

“...now that was Shakespeare.”

“Goodnight, Tish. I promise to see about those multiple orgasms tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Tom. No traction, please. You are more than enough man for me as you are.”

Tom fell asleep with those words in his ears, and in his heart, where they remained safely locked away for the rest of his days.

Tish awoke the next morning to his arms still around her, never again to wonder if she was to be the center of someone else’s orbit.

Apogee: the point of the orbit of the moon or satellite when it is furthest from the earth, also, the climax/culmination

Perigee: the point of the orbit of the moon or satellite when it is closest to the earth

My Constellations: @hopelessromanticspoonie @just-the-hiddles @yespolkadotkitty @vodka-and-some-sass @winterisakiller @fruitfly123

#apogee/perigee #nonsensical writes #tom hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston rpf #Tom Hiddleston X oc #look Christine I did a thing

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chemicalmagecraft · 4 years ago

Text

A Black Wind Howls Chapter 3: The Fight

A/N: I hate finals and am glad that I'm done with them. Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone!

By the way, if you haven't noticed by now I decided to give all the chapters titles. A chapter that follows the events of an original ATLA name will share its title, but original chapters will have original names.

Also, in case anyone was curious, my mental image of Lhamo is that she looks and sounds like Scorpia from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, except not a scorpion and with black hair. Meanwhile, I may or may not have thought of Old Toph from TLoK a little when writing Tsering. To be honest, though, I don't really have any one character to point to for Dorji, aside from the in-universe comparison between her and Aang (though it might be more accurate to say she looks like a mix between Toph and Aang, just nobody's seen Toph yet and therefore cannot make that comparison). As for personality, according to TVTropes she might be described as a Rei Ayanami Expy, though I haven't seen Neon Genesis Evangelion so I can't say for sure if that's the best comparison. And just a little fun fact, despite being currently the shortest member of the Gaang (roughly 3'11, and I found a thing that says that Aang is 4'6, Katara is 4'9, and Sokka is 4'11, though it wasn't exactly official so it might be slightly off) she is the second oldest, being a few months older than Katara. Assuming you count Aang as 12 and not 112.

oOoOo

Previously on Avatar...

The firebender that the girl had hit shakily got back up and punched at the airbender's back. Only a puff of smoke came from his fist.

"My name is Dorji. I'm an airbender."

"The power of airbending may have survived through my family line, but unfortunately the spirit of the Air Nomads lives on only through you." Aang winced at that comment.

"Should you really be stealing moon peaches?" Aang asked her in a slightly accusatory tone.

Dorji shrugged. "Not stealing."

Lhamo gasped and hugged the three. "Dorji has friends her age!"

"Is that you, Tsering?" Aang asked.

Tsering grimaced. "I survived."

At some point Katara had shifted in her sleep, ending up with her arm hooked around Dorji's waist. Judging from the red glow dusting her cheeks and ears Dorji had some very conflicting feelings about this. "Shiiiiit..." she muttered softly.

Aang simply couldn't sleep.

oOoOo

Aang and Dorji, both very tired, grunted at each other sleepily when they met in the hall, both rubbing their eyes. "Couldn't sleep?" Aang asked.

"Couldn't sleep..." Dorji nodded after a few moments, like she hadn't heard Aang at first. While Aang had fully opened his eyes, Dorji's were still half-closed drowsily.

"I kinda stayed up all night thinking. You?"

Dorji's cheeks turned a nice shade of pink. "...Also thinking." After a silence that could have been either her insomnia-addled brain trying to think or just her having dozed off for a bit she said, "Actually could you please put your hand on my stomach?"

"What? Why?" Aang asked.

Dorji's blush returned. "I'm... curious about something."

"Oookay..." Aang looked at her weird, but carefully placed his hand on her stomach. "Why?"

Dorji grabbed Aang's arm and twirled around so that his arm ended up hooked around her waist. "Hmm... Nothing..." she muttered as she leaned on Aang's shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Aang asked.

Dorji released his arm and started walking away. "Checking something." She sniffed the air. "Smells like Lhamo made breakfast. Let's go." She walked away before Aang could ask her more questions. Aang sighed and followed her down the hall.

"Hey, Lhamo," Dorji muttered when she walked into the dining room, turning her head slightly to face her cousin who was currently placing food on the table. Katara and Sokka were seated at the table, eating.

"Hey, what'sh up!" Sokka said in between chewing. "You two are up late!"

"Sokka, please don't talk with food in your mouth," Katara scolded.

"Itsh sho good, though!"

Lhamo smiled. "Thank you! I made it myself!"

Dorji stared at Sokka, seemingly deep in thought. Sokka swallowed. "Something wrong?" he asked.

Dorji jumped, sailing through the air to land gently on Sokka's lap, causing him to squawk in alarm. She forced his free arm around her waist. "Ew. Weird," she muttered.

"One of us is weird here and it isn't me," Sokka objected. He put down his food and picked Dorji up, placing her in the seat next to him. Dorji started snoring despite sitting up. "She is weirdly light. Is that an airbender thing?"

Lhamo rushed over to Dorji. She placed one hand on her shoulder and the other over her forehead. "Dorji are you okay? Have you been eating well?"

Dorji grunted lazily and touched the thumb of her open hand to her chest and then her chin, then started snoring again.

Lhamo put some food in front of her. "Still, you need to eat."

Dorji made a small noise, but started eating. She made another sign after a few bites of food, then stopped eating.

"Ya gotta eat more, kid," Tsering said as she entered the room. "You're worried about your dad, right?"

Dorji sniffed and nodded after a few moments.

Tsering sighed and sat down next to her, facing her despite the fact that her eyes were closed. "I am too, kid. You have to eat, though. I remember, back when I'd just escaped the massacre, I couldn't bring myself to eat at all. It... wasn't good for my health. Felt like I was floating all the time, nearly passed out a lot. Think I did pass out a few times. Remember dreaming about everything being upside-down or something... Where was I?" Dorji touched her thumb to her forehead. "Right, your father. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he busted out of prison and assassinated the Fire Lord or some of his generals, or simply razed their capitol to the ground. He can take care of himself. Now eat."

Dorji nodded and started eating again, ignoring Aang, Katara's bewildered stares from what Tsering had said about her son.

oOoOo

"Goodbye, everyone!" Lhamo said with a wave as Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Dorji boarded Appa. "It was nice meeting you all! Take care of Dorji!"

"Goodbye, Lhamo," Dorji said.

"Thanks for the pie!" Sokka shouted.

"Speaking of pie," Tsering said as she walked into the clearing, followed by a few workers bearing a box, a few sacks, and a few tubes. "I have a few gifts for you all." Despite not moving her hands from where they were clasped behind her back, the packages started floating in bubbles of air and were loaded onto Appa. "One of those is the rest of the pie from last night. Eat it before it goes bad. Those bags contain some of our produce, freshly picked." She smiled and stroked Appa's fur. "I'm sure between the sky bison and the three growing teenagers, you'll need them."

"Thanks!" Aang said. "We'll be sure to use them."

Tsering chuckled. "That's not even the thing I figured you'd like the most. The scroll tubes contain, among other things, copies of genuine Air Nomad scrolls."

Aang's eyes widened. He grabbed one of the tubes, one with the Air Nomad sigil on it, and with shaking hands carefully opened it. He reverentially pulled out a pristine scroll that also had the Air Nomad sigil on it. He unfurled it, revealing instructions for advanced airbending techniques. His eyes welled with tears and he quickly rolled the scroll up and put it back before wiping his eyes. "Y-you..."

The old woman smirked at him. "Figured you'd like that. I may not have been too cut out for the whole monk life, but I'm still an Air Nomad. I decided a while back to preserve as much of Air Nomad culture as I could, hopefully for future generations but at the very least to preserve records of my people." She chuckled. "Made a bit of name for myself in the field of anthropology as a result."

"And you're just giving these to me?" Aang asked.

She shrugged. "As I said, they're copies. I made sure to put the originals in safe hands, so don't worry too much if you lose them."

"What are the other scrolls?" Katara asked.

"I also wrote down some techniques Wangchuck and I made that Dorji might want to refresh herself on. And you might want to learn some of those, Aang." Aang looked a little uncomfortable when she said that. "Just a suggestion, kid. There's also some stuff on Air Nomad culture in there that I thought you might like, plus some recipes in case you want something from home. Aside from that, there are a few scrolls on bending the other elements that I've managed to obtain. Figured that as the Avatar you might have more use for those than me. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get much more than theory for fire and water, especially because Wangchuck never fucking told me where he put his scrolls, but it's better than nothing, huh?" She smiled at Katara. "Plus I figure you might appreciate it too, Katara. You are a waterbender, are you not?"

Katara nodded. "Thank you."

"I also managed to find a scroll on healing with waterbending. It's not anything you can use in a fight but, well..." Tsering rolled up her sleeve, revealing a faded but still slightly visible burn scar. "Let's just say I speak from experience when I say that healers are the kind of thing that are always great to have around. I'll try to find practical waterbending scrolls to get to you."

Katara bowed. "You've already given us a lot. I'll try to work with what you've given me already."

Tsering shrugged. "Don't worry about it, I've got enough connections that I should be able to get you a few scrolls eventually."

"That stuff's cool and all, I guess, but I don't suppose you have anything I can use?" Sokka asked.

She nodded. "Fair enough. It might not be quite your fighting style, but there are also a few scrolls on chi blocking in there. The art was originally developed by nonbenders to give them an edge against benders. Dorji can teach the basics to you, if you want. And finally, I added in a few scrolls on Earth Kingdom Sign Language."

"Is that that weird hand thing Dorji was doing earlier?" Sokka asked.

Dorji winced and Katara glared at Sokka.

Tsering stared at him flatly. "Little rude to phrase it like that, but yeah. It's good for sneaking around because you have to be pretty fucking bad at it to make noise while doing it. And while it's not my place to tell you why, Dorji sometimes prefers talking in it so it'd be for the best if at least one of you learned enough of it to hold a conversation."

"Thank you, Grandmother," Dorji muttered shyly.

"Right, you all should leave now. Goodbye, Dorji and Aang." She waved them off with a smile.

"What about us?" Sokka asked as Appa started to rise.

She shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose you too." Despite being far away from them at this point and not speaking up at all, her voice traveled perfectly to them.

oOoOo

Aang touched Appa down in a large forest clearing so they could rest for the night. He patted Appa on the head before jumping back onto the saddle. "All right, buddy. Let's see what Tsering got you." He was a little woozy from lack of sleep, but hopefully they'd be sleeping soon so he didn't say anything about it.

Dorji jumped off of Appa and pointed at the ground by his side, making a small circle with her pointing finger. A small cloud of dust kicked up where she pointed. "I'll cushion your fall," she offered.

"Thanks!" Sokka said, then jumped down. When he hit the dust cloud his fall slowed and he fell on his ass with a yelp.

"Sorry," Dorji muttered. She moved her hand to the right slightly, and the dust cloud moved to where she was pointing. She widened her circles, causing the dust cloud to grow larger and wider. "This one should be better, hopefully."

Katara jumped. She also lost her balance when she hit the cloud, but Dorji quickly stepped forward and caught her.

"Thank you," Katara said.

"Y-you're welcome," Dorji said, blushing slightly. She immediately let go of her and stepped back a bit.

"Thanks for catching me, too," Sokka deadpanned as he got up.

"You're welcome," Dorji said.

He looked at her flatly.

Dorji tilted her head and blinked. "Was that sarcasm?" she asked.

Sokka sighed. "Yes, that was sarcasm," he said exasperatedly.

"Ah," she said. She looked a little nervous for some reason. "I'm sorry, I... have trouble with detecting tone, sometimes."

Katara glared at Sokka yet again. "How was I supposed to know that!?" Sokka snapped at Katara.

Katara sighed. "Sorry, you do have a point there. Is there anything else we should be aware of, Dorji?"

Dorji eyes widened. She blushed and gave Katara a very appreciative smile. "I... Sometimes I have... problems processing sounds. It's not too bad anymore, I hope anyway, but please be patient if I need you to repeat things," she muttered.

Katara nodded. "Okay. Is that why your grandmother said you sometimes prefer to use sign language?"

She bit her lip. "It's... part of it. I would also prefer if you faced me while speaking to me, for similar reasons. I can read lips, in case I'm having trouble with hearing."

"How do you read lips?" Sokka asked.

"Lots of practice. Start by looking at lips."

Sokka shrugged. "Fair enough."

Aang jumped off of Appa's saddle after putting the bag of apples he was feeding Appa back. "What're you guys talking about?" he asked.

Katara gave Dorji a look, as if asking her if it was okay to tell him. Dorji nodded to her. "Dorji was telling us about how she has a few... issues with hearing."

"Oh, is that what the sign language was for?" he asked.

Dorji nodded. "I can hear, but I have trouble processing sounds sometimes, if that makes sense," she clarified.

Aang nodded. "I remember one of the boys I grew up with, Dema, had an issue like that too." His face fell. "Dema..."

"I apologize," Dorji said.

"For what?"

Dorji fidgeted. "I... brought up a memory. One that must be painful for you."

Aang shook his head. "No, you didn't even know that'd remind me of Dema."

"Would... would you like something to take your mind off of it?" she offered.

"Thanks!" He smiled at her. "What do you have in mind?"

"If you're going to be fighting the Fire Nation, you need combat skills. Traditional airbending may have had martial arts, but they were mostly restricted to evasion, disengaging, and defense," she explained. She unsheathed one of her daggers and swiped it at a tree off to her side, not even breaking her gaze with Aang. A blade of wind rushed from her blade, slicing a deep gash in the ground as it kicked up a large cloud of dust and slicing the tree almost in half vertically when it hit it. "All of that is good, but you might be a bit lacking in your offensive capabilities, decisively ending a fight." She spun her dagger, then sheathed it. "Shall we begin?"

"I don't feel comfortable with that," Aang said nervously.

"Why not?"

Aang clenched his hands, a sour expression on his face. "That's... That's not airbending."

"Um... Aang?" Sokka put his hand on his shoulder. "Maybe..."

Aang forced his hand off. "No. That's not airbending."

"It is, though," Dorji rebutted. "Well, some of the moves I intend to teach you don't need airbending, but for the one I just showed you? Doing it requires you to stream air along a thin surface, like my daggers or your staff. It might be a little hard at first if you haven't done anything like that, but-"

"That's not what I mean!" Aang shouted. "You're doing it all wrong!"

Dorji sighed. "It's not wrong. Just... different. I understand that it might be upsetting to see such a different style from what you're used to, but... it's not wrong."

"It goes against all of airbending culture!" Aang shouted.

"Aang..." Katara said.

Dorji frowned slightly. "I see. You know, I had always been fascinated with grandmother's scrolls and books about the Air Nomads. Part of it was just that reading was... nice... for me, I will admit, but..." She turned away from Aang and walked a few steps away from him. She stood there for a few seconds, then sniffled and wiped her face. When she turned back around her eyes were a little red. "For a while, I wanted to be like them. They were my people, my ancestors. But at the same time, I was always worried a true Air Nomad would despise me, as I am still my father's daughter, and my father was not a traditional Air Nomad. Thank you for confirming it for me. I told you before, the pacifistic monks of the past died out a century ago. I'm not an Air Nomad. I was never an Air Nomad." She touched one of the green highlights of her clothing. "I was born of the Earth Kingdom. I was raised by the Earth Kingdom. Why should I call myself an Air Nomad?"

Aang's face contorted in anger, then softened slightly. "Fine." He turned around and walked away.

"Fine," Dorji echoed. She pulled the two halves of her father's staff from her belt and started walking towards a large rock.

Sokka and Katara sighed at the same time. "I'll talk to Aang, do you want to talk to Dorji?" Sokka asked.

"That sounds good," Katara agreed.

"Cool." Sokka started climbing back onto Appa, struggling a bit. "Let me just... get something... real quick."

While Sokka was doing that, Katara walked over to Dorji. Wielding the two halves of her father's staff like dual swords due to how long they were compared to her, Dorji swung at the rock with one segment. A wide gash appeared in it despite the fact that the staff never made contact with it. She swung with the other segment, creating a second gash. Next she slashed both, deepening and widening both of the gouges she'd made. She quickly put the two halves of the staff together and started twirling it with insane speed. The wind in the area picked up, and dust clouds flowed towards her staff. She jumped back and threw the staff at the boulder. The spinning staff cut cleanly through the boulder, grinding it in half with little resistance. After it was on the other side Dorji held her hand out to it. The staff shot back, pulverizing the upper half to smaller rocks with pure windy force. Dorji caught the staff and swung it, blowing all the rocks and dust away. She used the momentum of the swing to turn around, jabbing the end of the staff a few inches away from Katara's throat. Tears streamed down the shorter girl's face, and her hands were trembling. The air stilled again.

Katara slowly put her hand on Dorji's shoulder. The airbender stiffened a little, but didn't resist. Katara smiled at her and slowly lowered Dorji's staff with her other hand before pulling her in for a hug. Dorji dropped the staff and started sobbing. "W-why?" she asked. Katara let her go, and she rubbed her eyes. "Why can't I go a day without crying?"

Katara sat down on the remaining part of the boulder, which had conveniently been cut and smoothed into a serviceable, if a little tall, bench by Dorji's practice. She patted a spot next to her and smiled at Dorji, inviting her to sit next to her. Dorji hesitated, but slowly sat down. She tilted her head slightly to Katara, staring at her.

"When my mother died... It was hard on all of us. And the first few days were the hardest. But... it does get easier. And I'm sure I speak for Sokka as well as myself when I say that we will both be here for you when you need a shoulder to cry on." She sighed. "And I'd have hoped that I could say the same of Aang, but now I'm not sure..."

Dorji whimpered.

Katara scowled. "To be honest, I didn't think Aang would blow up like that. I mean, he was a little touchy when he saw what happened to his old temple, but I thought that that was just from seeing the remains of someone he knew..."

Dorji winced. "Did I... some of the things I told Aang must have hurt him. I should apologize." She tried to get up, but Katara put her hand on her shoulder.

"Don't. I think he should apologize first. He's hurting, yes, but he has no right to take that out on you."

Dorji leaned on Katara. She didn't say anything else, but Katara hugged her.

oOoOo

Aang sighed. He sat at the edge of a small lake near where they had landed, prodding at the water with some attempts at waterbending. "Maybe I shouldn't have..."

Sokka slapped him on the back of his head, then sat down next to him. "Yeah, you really shouldn't have." His tone was annoyed.

"I'm so-"

Sokka slung his arm around Aang's back, clamping his hand on his shoulder. "No. You're gonna listen. You lost your people and found out the world crumbled after you left. I can't even imagine how horrible that feels. But." He tightened his grip. "If you even begin to think that gives you a right to dump all that out on a girl you just met, who recently lost her father, that's unforgiveable. Imagine if some old friend of that one monk guy you were fond of... Gyatso, I think, came out of nowhere and told you that you weren't fit to be the Avatar, or even an Air Nomad. That's what you just did to Dorji."

Aang sighed. "You're right. I should never have said that. I... I'm sorry."

Sokka patted his shoulder. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, buddy. And first... maybe we should talk a bit. You've got a few issues to work out, clearly."

Aang looked down. "I... I miss them."

"Yeah, that's pretty natural. But what made you lash out at Dorji like that?"

He sighed. "I guess... I'm sure she's not trying to, but she always seems to... remind me they're gone. That I was gone for a hundred years, and my people are long gone." He sniffed and rubbed his eyes. "But... I should never have taken it out on her."

Sokka patted his back. "You know, I know I always complained about the lack of meat and everything, but... If you want to make a traditional Air Nomad dish or something, I'd totally be willing to help." He grinned. "And I'm sure Dorji would, too. But first you gotta apologize to her." He pulled out a scroll. "And I have an idea of something you can do for that."

oOoOo

Dorji had fallen asleep, resting with her head on Katara's shoulder. Katara smiled and stroked her hair gently, as not to wake her. Sokka walked up to her, Aang trailing sheepishly behind.

"I hope you're here to apologize," Katara glared at Aang.

Aang shrank back slightly. "Yeah, I... Shouldn't have taken my feelings out on Dorji." He got out from behind Sokka and faced Dorji. "Dorji, I want to apologize to you," he said, raising his voice to try to wake her up. "My suffering was no excuse for what I said to you. And I was wrong, you may be other things, but you are an Air Nomad, too!"

Dorji, perhaps due to her hearing impairment that she had yet to fully explain to the others, did not react at all to this.

"Maybe you should wait until she wakes up, Aang?" Sokka said.

He nodded. "Right, sorry. Should... should we wake her up or..."

Dorji stirred, then sat up and started rubbing her eyes. "Sorry, did someone try to wake me? You'll need to shake me awake, shouting won't work..." She noticed Aang and stiffened slightly. "R-right. Y-you..." She bit her lip.

Aang placed his hand, a loose fist, on his chest and made a small circular motion with it. The sign, as best he understood the EKSL scroll, for 'sorry.' "I'm sorry," he said, as sincere and contrite as possible. "You reminded me of what I've lost, and I couldn't take that and lashed out at you. But that's not an excuse for how I acted towards you. I understand if you don't forgive me. For what it's worth, you are a real airbender." He smiled. "You are airbending culture, as much as I am. And you have every right to call yourself an Air Nomad."

Dorji sniffed. She rubbed her face, but a few tears fell onto her shirt still. "Th-thank you. And... f-for what it's worth... I'm sorry for hurting you, even if it was unintentional. I'll... I'll try to be more mindful of what I say in the future."

Aang smiled at her. "Thanks. If you want, you could show me that one airbending move. I don't think I'll ever use it on a person, but if I need to cut down a lot of trees really fast I could use it for that?"

She smiled slightly. "Actually... I think I know another move that my grandmother made that might... suit your tastes slightly better. When used on a trained warrior, especially a firebender due to how firebenders train their lungs, it will never cause any lasting damage. And at the same time, it will temporarily disable the person you use it on, especially if they are a firebender."

Aang hugged her. "That sounds great! And later, I can show you some airbending moves of my own!"

Dorji backed up nodded when Aang released her. "I'd like that. But first..." She got into a fighting stance and took a deep breath. "The best way to explain this is with a demonstration. And the best way for you to learn how to do it is to experience it yourself. But I will not do it without your permission, as it can feel... unpleasant."

"Um, is this a good idea?" Sokka asked.

Aang nodded. "Do it. Is there anything I should be paying attention to?"

"Your breath." In a blur, Dorji was suddenly standing inches away from Aang. She paused for just long enough for Aang to focus on her, a rush of wind punctuating her stop, then jabbed him in the solar plexus with two fingers. The amount of force she put into the physical movement was negligible, but Aang still toppled backwards as he felt his lungs empty against his will. He struggled on the ground for a few seconds, finding it hard to regain his stolen breath. Eventually he coughed and shakily took the hand that Dorji had offered him at some point.

"Are you okay, Aang?" Katara asked.

"Gimme... a minute..." he said between pants, a pained grimace on his face as his breathing slowly returned to normal.

"Sorry, I should've mentioned it can be... unpleasant." Dorji said, taking a few steps away from Aang and the others. She looked nervous again.

"No, it's fine," Aang assured her. He chuckled. "I probably should've guessed it wouldn't feel too good, anyway. Still, I can see what you were getting at. And you're sure it doesn't hurt people you use it on?"

She nodded. "Unless you use it on the same person multiple times in a row without letting them breathe, or use it on someone with weak lungs. But a trained soldier should be fine, and the technique will let you take them out of a fight for a few seconds at least, as well as open them up to a finishing move. And most notably, it temporarily disables firebending."

"It disables firebending!?" Sokka parroted, incredulous.

Dorji nodded. "Grandmother made the technique with some principals involved in chi blocking, after performing some... research on firebending." She breathed deeply, in and out, and when she exhaled her breath was very warm. "In fact, she learned that the breathing techniques the Air Nomads used to keep themselves warm in even the coldest of weather were originally based on knowledge given to them by firebenders. Firebending does not come from muscles, but rather the breath. So a technique that disrupts a firebender's ability to breathe..."

"Also disrupts firebending," Sokka finished. "That's... that's amazing!"

"It only lasts a minute or so at best, but it will still throw a firebender off," Dorji continued explaining. "And a master of it can do it from a distance, or even without moving at all, or at least my father and grandmother can. If you need more guidance to learn it, Aang, ask me. But..." Dorji turned to Sokka. "Perhaps you would like to learn chi blocking? You seemed pleased with the concept of disrupting firebending. And it can do more than just disable bending for a few seconds."

He grinned. "That sounds awesome!"

She nodded. "Then let us begin." She collapsed, but still somehow managed to hit the ground lightly. "Tomorrow. I'm tired." She closed her eyes, already asleep.

#fanfiction #avatar the last airbender fanfiction #Avatar The Last Airbender #A Black Wind Howls #ABWH CH3

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